#why did i spell grandpa like that

[segretecose]

.

[httpsserene]

𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 - 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬 & 𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐩𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢

summary: you know a thing or two about baking, because you’ve baked a thing or two.

pairing: lando norris & oscar piastri x fem!black/poc!reader (in my head? there’s no physical description of reader.)

content warning: fluff. attempt at banter. dialogue heavy. c0vid lockdown mentioned. baking soda vs powder plagiarized from reddit; thank you redditor fowler311.

˖♡ - ̗̀ ⇢ qatar, you were magnificent until you weren't. this post alone is me putting good energy in the atmosphere for the boys in abu dhabi. is this platonic or not? idk, it's up to you—i just happened to write it. (college semester is over !!! i will be so active you'll wish i never came back xxx) no part two requests, pls 🥺 enjoy reading, loves < 3

⌕ join taglist | upcoming chapters | table of contents ↻

you grocery shop on saturday night because no one else living in monaco would consider doing the same. usually.

as you’ve been grabbing items off the shelves, you occasionally stumble across two young men—they’re the only other customers in the store with you this evening. 

the first time you shared an aisle with them, you offered a polite smile before redirecting your gaze to the various shapes and brands of pasta. the second time, you shyly murmured an “excusez-moi” and they apologized immediately while stepping out of the way, allowing you to grab a pack of chocolate chips. the third time, your polite smile widened in amusement, as you watched the man drowning in an oversized hoodie shadow-box his friend, who remained unfazed at the whooshing fists as he inspected a carton for any cracked eggs.

the fourth time, you realize that the two men are lando norris and oscar piastri—the driver lineup of the mclaren formula one team. and, they’re arguing about the difference between baking powder and baking soda, very loudly. in a carrefour. in aisle three. at eight in the evening. on a saturday night.

surely, these two have more interesting plans for their weekend besides grocery shopping.

“they can’t be that different, can they?”

“hmm. once is soda, and the other is powder. that’s quite different, i reckon.”

“yeah, but, they both start with ‘baking,’ so, i figure they’re more similar.”

“if they’re similar, why would they make two different products?”

“greed? consumption—oh, no, wait—consummate? no.”

“consumerism?”

“consumerism! that’s it.”

“i would agree, but i don’t think that’s the case with these two.”

“well, think harder. it’s freezing in here, osc.”

“i think you’re iron deficient.”

“what?”

“never mind—look, mate, this is your fault, really.”

“woo-oooow, i can’t believe this! so, you’re blaming me now?”

“you wrote the list, lando! how is your handwriting so terrible that i can’t tell if you wrote ‘baking soda’ or ‘baking powder’?”

“first of all, you told me to write the list! nobody writes grocery lists anymore, grandpa! secondly, why would you make the dyslexic kid write the list? it’s cruel and unusual—you know i can’t spell for shit.”

“lando. the word ‘powder’ has two more letters than ‘soda.’ i know that you know that. how did you make—whatever the hell that says—look like it could be either one?”

“osc, you’re hurting my feelings. are—are you saying i’m stupid?”

“i literally never said that. the word ‘stupid’ didn’t even come out of my mouth, you muppet—“

you bang the front of your cart into the end-cap of the aisle, sending a few rolls of bagels to the floor. your cheeks warm as their banter halts and heads snap over to look at you awkwardly rushing around to pick up the floor bagels. the last package rolled unbelievably far to knock against lando norris’s shoe. aren’t you just lucky?

you see lando press his lips together to avoid laughing (you appreciate the effort), and he dismisses your apologies as he scoops the bagels off the floor and moves to help place them back on the shelf.

“uh, t-thank you,” you stutter, as oscar piastri walks over just in time to catch a roll that was eagerly looking to return to the supermarket floor. the two men offer smiles in return—lando’s wide and gap-toothed, oscar’s boxy and toothless.

“soda spreads and powder puffs,” you blurt out, because you left you brain-to-mouth filter at home. maybe they sell replacements here. in the aisle furthest away from the two formula one drivers, preferably.

“what?” lando questions, a matching look of confusion plastered on his teammates face.

“sorry, i overheard your conversation,” you shrug, trying for nonchalance, “baking soda influences spread and browning, whereas baking powder provides puffiness and lift. they’re both leavening agents but, baking soda is sodium bicarbonate and baking powder is a mixture of sodium bicarbonate and an acid. soda needs and an acid to activate but powder needs moisture and heat. so—i guess which one you need depends on what your trying to make.”

you think you failed to portray nonchalance, if the perplexed expressions the two stare at you with are any telling.

oscar blinks, “…we’re trying to make chocolate chip cookies. i tried to convince him to buy cookie dough but he wanted to make them from scratch, even though neither of us can bake.”

“it’s more fun if we do it from scratch,” lando crosses his arms huffily, “you didn’t have to tell her that we’re absolutely hopeless in the kitchen, though.”

“i reckon she already knew that from overhearing our lack of knowledge about baking ingredients, lando,” the australian chuckles quietly, shifting the shopping basket from one arm to the other.

“do you have the recipe on you?” you ask kindly.

oscar hands the scorned grocery list over without complaint, “it’s my mum’s recipe. sorry if it’s hard to read—you’ll have to blame him for that.”

lando scoffs in indignation, “you’re exaggerating, oscar. my handwriting isn’t that bad, is it?”

you feel them watching as you decipher the hieroglyphics that are lando’s letters. you bring a finger up to trace underneath the scrawl, eyes squinting to force the words into focus—oscar snorts and lando sighs in played-up dejection.

“i can understand what you’ve wrote just fine,” you smile at lando, “i’ve seen worse. you know, my younger cousin’s handwritting is miles more dreadful than this.”

the brit knocks his shoulder against oscar’s teasingly, “hah! maybe you just can’t read, osc. have you thought about that?”

you tap your finger against your chin in thought, “—but my cousin is like, five-years-old, with terrible fine motor skills. so, i wouldn’t say that’s a fair comparison.”

the two are caught by surprise, laughing delightedly at your ribbing. the sound of their amusement is contagious enough for you to crease with your own giggles.

“i didn’t expect to be bullied in a carrefour’s on a saturday night by a stranger,” lando says with a grin, after he’s calmed down.

“sorry,” you shake your head playfully, properly introducing yourself before continuing, “i forgot you usually spend your time here arguing about baking soda. which—by the way, your mum’s recipe calls for both baking powder and soda, oscar. which is very smart and unique! in most cookie recipes, most people usually opt for baking soda alone, for the spread of the batter. but, your mum must’ve liked her cookies puffier and fluffier as well! anyways, that explains why it looks like lando could’ve written either word here—because he meant to write both.”

they thank you profusely for helping them overcome the challenge of lando’s handwriting, oscar returning to the aisle to place each ingredient in his basket.

“sorry, could you grab me one of the baking soda, as well?” you ask, “that’s the last thing off of my list tonight.”

“we’re all done, too,” the australian walks over with your box, hesitating briefly before you gesture for him to drop it in your filled cart.

the duo walks towards the registers with you, lando asking, “are you a baker?”

“no,” you chuckle, “i had a phase during lockdown.”

“ah, i should’ve known,” he teases, “i mean, that’s how you know that baking powder is sodium carbon-fiber—“, oscar echoes his teammates ‘sodium carbon-fiber’ with a soft smile, “—just a baking phase, right. makes sense.”

“oh, come on, lando norris,” you scold him jokingly, “baking powder is sodium carbon-fiber and an acid. keep up—we’ve been over this already.”

you separate from the two as you near the registers, unloading your cart onto the conveyor belt and exchanging polite conversation with the cashier as you hand over your stack of reusable bags. you don’t realize that they’ve waited for you until you start to think about the logistic of carrying all of your groceries home.

“uh,” lando pushes oscar forward with a firm hand on his back, the tips of the australian’s ears are reddening, “would you like help with those? we don’t mind holding a few.”

“would you mind?” your shoulders sag in relief, “i do this in one trip routinely but i don’t think that’s happening tonight. i only live about four blocks over—my doorman will help me get them all up to my flat, so i won’t be keeping you longer than necessary.”

that’s how you find yourself walking home, on a saturday night, with two formula one drivers holding the bulk of your groceries in their arms. you’re going to the casino directly after you put the groceries away because your luck is too good to miss out on right now. your doorman heads inside to grab a cart as soon as he catches sight of you. your two helpers exchange a glance in your peripheral vision as you come to stop in front of your building.

“well, this is me,” you start, pausing to thank your doorman, gabriel, as the boys carefully unload the bags onto the cart, “thank you for the assistance, you are both too kind.”

“mr. norris and mr. piastri are always kind,” hums gabriel, winking at the two men, before rolling the cart inside.

“wait, what? you live in the same building as me?” you’re flummoxed. you knew the rent was too expensive, but you didn’t think it was formula-one-driver-expensive.

“i live here,” lando reveals, holding the door as he lets you and oscar walk inside, “osc doesn’t. i feel like i would remember your face if i’ve seen you here before. what floor are you on?”

“i don’t know if i should tell you that,” you side-eye them flippantly, “i fear for my safety.”

“well, i shouldn’t have told you that i live here,” lando sniffs.

“gabriel blew your cover, mate,” oscar rolls his eyes, “also, she would’ve found out anyways. we would’ve had to follow her in to make the cookies in your apartment.”

your doorman squeezes into the first elevator with your groceries, while you and the boys opt for the second. oscar’s hand hovers over the button while he waits for you to clue him in, pressing lando’s afterwards.

lando clears his throat as the elevator begins to rise. “seeing as your thrilling saturday night activity of grocery shopping is over, what are the rest of your plans for tonight?”

scratching at the nape of your neck, you say, “don’t judge me anymore than you have tonight…i was thinking about watching the entire how to train your dragon trilogy.”

oscar gasps quietly, his eyes bright, “i love those movies.”

“would you like to come up to my flat and make chocolate chip cookies from scratch with us? and watch the movies, too?” lando’s question is sweet, and his eyes are earnest.

“i feel like it would be very dumb of me to visit the apartment of a man i just met in the grocery—formula one driver or not.”

“sorry, i can see how it’s weird. better safe than sorry, i know. i promise we’re not like going to try anything, or we’re not, like, serial killers or anything. oscar’s too polite for that, and i’m too squeamish. seriously, it would be just for the cookies. we didn’t have a baking phase in lockdown like you did, so we’re lost on a lot more than the different between baking soda and powder. sodium carbon-fiber and acid, or not. if it’s uncomfortable for you, that’s fine. maybe we can plan for another day when you know us better.”

“yep,” oscar offers in support of lando’s statement.

you smile, “you remembered about the acid this time.”

the elevator dings before softly jerking to a stop on your floor. the doors begin to slide open, “honestly? i think i’m more afraid about you guys possibly burning our building down rather than killing me in cold blood.”

you step out of the elevator, seeing gabriel waiting by your door with the cart.

turning back to face the two men, you survey them with a serious gaze before breaking into a grin, “don’t turn on the oven without me. that part requires adult supervision. let me put my groceries away and then i’ll be right up.”

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© httpsserene - do not repost. photos in header from pinterest.

[annaesterella]

Since almost every good fan of Yan-Batfam or something like that is getting into this (and I'm a fan of that kind of thing) LET'S HAVE A NEGLECTED READER

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. ☆

But I saw that a lot of people liked the other fic, seriously people, KISSES DIRECTLY FROM ANNA! SERIOUSLY, I FELT LIKE A Celebrity (<⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> ehehe) And this was the first time that a fic of mine gained so many views and I'm very excited, thank you to everyone who liked it!

F/reader (sorry guys, I don't know how to write M/reader)

I'll write a part II, bcuz is too long!

“Don't be silly! I would never be a Wayne.”

Well, first things first, when did it all started again? Haha not 500 time loops ago, but some years ago.. like the first child, you were from a circus, the difference is that.. well? Your parents were magicians, at least your mother... your father until you were 6 or 7 years old was just another distant memory but sweet, not yours, but your mother's... the incredible magic of the circus “Joie nocturne” a beautiful woman, yet another victim of the charms of the heartthrob, philanthropist, billionaire and owner of Wayne companies, Bruce Wayne. Of course, your mother, like almost all women, never forgot him, having him as her beautiful memory, after all, he gave her everything she needed.. you, her lil bunny! That's what she called you, before she was gone, like him, she turned into your distant but sweet memory, like a magic spell..

You felt so alone, the circus wanted to keep you, after all, you were their family too, but even so, he found out about you, and being a child, You wanted to meet your father. Still, feeling the pain of abandoning what you knew, you went. You had your 10 minutes of affection and then never saw him again. You met your two brothers, half brothers, Dick and Jason, and the buttler, Alfred, You thought your life would be like a funny family sitcom, HAHA, WHAT A JOKE. Of course, the oldest was excited to meet you, you were just like him, from a circus! The youngest was curious about the situation, yet he was kind to you and didn't mistreat you. The oldest gentleman, Even with little time, he treated you like your grandfather treated you, you then created an innocent affection for him, after all, he reminded you of your grandfather! After 1 or 2 weeks, they disappeared. Only you and "grandpa" are left.. Just like your mother, you developed an affection for magic... but just those stupid tricks left you bored... even so, it was affectionate to see Alfred pretending not to know about the tricks, just to see you smiling... soon you realized.. you weren't really a Wayne.. at most a visitor. They didn't have time for you, Alfred was still a buttler at the end of the day.

Time passed and you felt more and more alone, of course, you had Alfred, but... he didn't always have time for you. Soon more people appeared... and others disappeared... Jason was the first to go, and even with the short time, you suffered, he was kind... your brother for such a short time, you wished you had played with him more, and after that the house, which was already abandoned, became even emptier, soon another boy appeared, Tim, from a rich family.. and soon Dick went to another city.. you don't remember when, but now there was also Cassandra, Damian, Duke.. Steph.. you remember Barbara from a long time.. Even though the house was full, it was still empty... and you could only comfort yourself with the magic and the things your mother had left for you. Your little stuffed rabbit and its "magic" materials. Even though If you were his biological daughter too, Damian seemed to have more of Wayne than you,maybe because he was a vigilante, maybe because he was a boy? did not you know of course... so why bother? Soon, you stopped trying, you didn't want that anymore... crawling for affection? At your eighteen You made your choice. You wouldn't be a Wayne, you'd be a joie nocturne again. But would they let you? That night, you went to visit the circus, that was your favorite time of year... Halloween, and circus mixed together? Wonderful! So you saw that... the villainy... and for a split second, you wanted to.. do something.. Playing like a good girl, you approached the large bearded man and tugged on his sleeve, asking what that was all about. Maybe this was your chance to be something. It was funny at first, seeing their despair, your second family, trying to explain themselves, but you soon gave a smile, before stamping your foot on the floor, making a crowbar appear, helping to open it. That was the beginning of everything... you were finally someone... even if on the wrong side. Soon, the decisive moment arrived, when you returned "home", packed your bags, and like a magic spell, you disappeared, leaving only a white rabbit and everything you did in that house, in your room, every magic award, every cheap magic materials.

After a Patrol day, Dick he noticed something unusual in the mansion, perhaps because Alfred was visiting his homeland, but it couldn't be that, after all, Alfred had already done that before... Oh right! Birthday girl, his ittle bunny sister. He ran upstairs, knocking on the bedroom door, before entering and seeing only a stuffed rabbit on the bed, and the various magical things around the room, if not for the empty drawers and things, he would say you still lived there by the decoration and the fact room looks good, everything is well maintained, warm

Dick: Bunny?

He called, looking around the room, before looking around, seeing the various magic prizes, photos, top hats and magic kits. All given by Alfred or someone called "Mr. Joie nocturne" Could he be a friend of yours? What do you mean you had participated in so many contests and won? Why didn't you call? Or did you call? Where were you now? Why was everything empty? You went away. He started walking in circles, until Tim entered the room.

Tim: You will make a hole in the ground. I called you several times, why are you in this room exactly?

Dick: Y/N, she is gone.. and we didn't even notice or whatever, we didn't receive any notification, why didn't she notify us that she was moving, we... damn... we weren't going to help probably because we were on patrol, did we waver? Did she know we were on patrol? Does she know the truth?

Tim: Wait, too much to process.. what does it mean "She is gone" she left? Is that it?

Dick: Yes. Dumbass

And well, we can say after that, what happened was like "Oh shit" and then everyone was like "OH SHIT" while you were home.. happy! Getting ready for her first show, her first real show... too true. You thought as you put on your gloves and applied your lipstick. Then, with slow steps, you walked onto the stage, smiling, while waving to everyone, who murmured and whistled. So you decided to do your first trick for the night, the "bullet trick" The difference? There was no trick behind it, just you and your skills... after all, it was in your blood. Just as the bullet was about to go through your skull, you snapped your fingers, and then the bullet turned into a beautiful, bright purple butterfly, flying through the circus, soon coming back towards you and turning into your bow tie. Okay, a bit of a show on your part for the first trick, but you have to show that you have morals. Funny that meanwhile, his family was desperate, going so far as to call Alfred, who was now just as desperate. Then, the special time came, the circus then closed the lights and when it opened, all the valuable belongings, inside the boxes, Of course, you had to feign shock, some clowns trying to calm the audience, and of course, you were also feigning surprise, making your things "disappear" to join in the fun. You looked at the children, snorting slightly, as you made the toys re-appear, seeing some calm down, while the others widened their eyes in surprise. Soon, the "incredible" Bat-family appeared... seriously, for such an idiotic cause they came...? Soon you saw them walking towards you and everything fell into place.

Nightwing: — Y/N! I mean.. Young Lady.. we were notified of your disappearance, we will ask you to return home.

You frowned, as you looked at the audience. Hearing their screams increase, some of relief that the "Bat-family" was there, others of confusion at the situation.

: — I believe, I'm already eighteen, so there's nothing to worry about, Still, I'm with my family at the moment, so I don't understand why the complaint. Not to mention that we were robbed at that moment, so why specifically did they come to resolve a case like this?

You questioned calmly, while pointing at the audience, smiling, before rushing to disappear with your family, leaving the problem to the bats, after all, they were the "professionals." You could say that the shock was written on their faces.. you were so big, poorly dressed.. those presentation clothes didn't suit a little girl like you.. but still.. what you meant by "your family" Were you referring to those circus freaks? They weren't as good as they were, they were just.. ordinary people! Well.. now they had to solve the problem of theft... but that couldn't end like that, nope.

[annasfantasies]

Star’s girl II.

/Drew Starkey x fem!reade

part I. masterlist

ENGLISH ISN’T MY FIRST LANGUAGE

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.

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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.

ALL CREDITS GO TO THE AUTHORS OF THE PICTURES

A/N: hii guys!! So I made part to of my Drew Starkey social media au, hope you enjoyed it!!

Should I make part three?

Also don’t forget to like, comment, reblog and follow me❤️

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

book 5 part 6 thoughts!!

***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 PART 6 OF THE MAIN STORY!!***

If you’d like to watch a rough part-by-part summarized translation, please check out this archived stream!

Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.

Ew, we're starting off with another map segment... TWST REALLY WANTS TO TIMEGATE OUR TEARS, HUH

Yuu and gang are going to follow the night fae soldiers to Black Scale Castle beyond the mountains. They can't stay too far from the owner of the dream, Lilia! (If you'll remember, they're now taking Tamago-sama there for safety while Meleanor stays behind to fight the Silver Owls.)

Silver hasn't seen Sebek use his UM??? Sebek tells us he learned his UM when Silver got into NRC and Sebek was training by himself. He wanted to be able to rush to Malleus's side at a moment's notice. He knows it is able to turn his own body into lightning and then can use it to move and to attack. However, the spell will damage his body while using it since he has yet to reach mastery. Sebek can't use his magic to rush to Lilia and the others because he wouldn't be able to fight by the time he does.

... ISN'T HIS UM SIMILAR TO ROLLO'S.... JUST TRADE FIRE FOR LIGHTNING...

AW, SEBEK WASN'T PLANNING ON USING HIS SPELL UNTIL HE MASTERED IT... BUT HE STILL USED IT TO SAVE SILVER 😭

Oh, they finally asked the question we were all having. If Malleus made this dream with the intention of it being a happy ending, then why do only sad things happen in Lilia's dream??? Also, why did OB Malleus not come after them yet or kick them out of the dream??? Maybe there's a reason why Malleus can't supervise or enter Lilia's dream??

BAUL LEFT THEM MAGIC TO GUIDE THEM THE RIGHT WAY... HE TRUSTS US TO HELP THEM NOW

Baul fights with an axe. IS HE ABOUT TO HAND IT OVER TO SEBEK (Sebek seems to be holding one in his limited time card)????

Lilia "I won't forgive you if you die!" Vanrouge.

Not both grandpa and grandson volunteering to stay behind to fight and then catch up later... Sebek tells Silver to go ahead and protect Lilia, "You go and protect what is most precious to you. I'm going to protect what is precious to me," (Sebek about Baul) 😭 The night fae are so confused why a human would willingly help them... THI S IS SEBEK'S CHARACTER ARC

SEBEK PROVES HIMSELF A CAPABLE FIGHTER TO HIS GRANDPA!! His hair gets all messy like what's shown in his new SSR. It's raining as well (like in the card art), so this is likely the context for the illustration. The groovy artwork is of Sebek being knighted!!!

adgkuvaodv8yfefvyyeft8wen Sebek makes a big speech about wanting to be their strength!! BAUL ACKNOWLEDGES SEBEK BY NAME INSTEAD OF "HUMAN" AND GRANTS HIM A SOLDIER'S UNIFORM, SEBEK'S BEING OFFICIALLY KNIGHTED FOR THE BRIAR COUNTRY'S IMPERIAL GUARD AND GIVEN A NEW WEAPON... BAUL EVEN GIVES SEBEK HIS OWN CROCODILE MASK

Zigvolt family lore!! Baul doesn't get along with his human son-in-law, but never distanced himself from his grandchildren. When Baul's only daughter wanted to marry a human, they argued so much about it. To this day, he still doesn't particularly care for humans. Even so, Baul's house has a lot of storybooks and candy prepared for his mixed grandchildren. He won't open them warmly, but it's clear he loves his family.

Silver saves Lilia!! And then Lilia asks Silver to take the egg to Black Scale Castle in his place. There are too many human soldiers on their trail, and Lilia cannot fight them while holding the egg (plus he's already injured from previously protecting Silver at the easternmost fortress).

Yuu has to hold Tamago-sama...

Silver proceeds to carry Lilia like a baby in spite of Lilia saying he'd stay behind and distract the Silver Owls 🤡 NOT SILVER USING LILIA'S OWN TEACHINGS TO TELL DREAM!LILIA THEY STILL HAVE TO TRY AND SURVIVE

The mountains are called the "Forbidden Mountains" and it is said that this is where Maleficent once lived. If you are not blessed by the dragons, the lightning (according to legend) will strike you down. Beyond the mountain is Briar Country's capital city and Black Scale Castle.

Surprisingly, Silver suggests an ambush method (hide and strike at soldiers from behind when they've let their guard down). I guess NRC really did teach him how to be backhanded after all/j

Silver says maybe Malleus can't follow them since he wasn't born yet in Lilia's dream. Magic relies on imagination, and since Malleus cannot imagine what life was like before he was born... that's probably why he can't monitor these circumstances.

Would you look at that 💀 The first real time the story acknowledges that Yuu is in bodily danger; Silver Owls shoot arrows at Yuu because they're holding the egg. Grimmu protects us!! Baby... Best buddy...

SEBEK ARRIVING TO SAVE SILVER (aksldnbaksdbaydasl lol at Sebek being smug about his knighting and trying to act cool even though the lightning is definitely still hurting him...)

Silver Owls retreat!

Oh wow, so they see creeping black thorns similar to when Malleus OB'd; everyone suspects that maybe Meleanor Overblotted too.

Silver mentions that he lives near the Forbidden Mountains but has never climbed them before. The rocks there are very sharp and dangerously jut out. AW, Lilia gives Silver and Yuu his cloak to protect them from the rain and cold. Lilia says the mountain range is full of magic, so its restorative to fae, who draw power from nature.

The way they came from was sealed off by rocks... but Lilia fully intends to go back and help Meleanor...

THEY MADE IT TO THE CASTLE!! It's called Maleficia's castle; we have an official English spelling for Granny Draconia's name. Something, something, Lilia wants to prepare something called the "Cradle Tower".

WE CUT BACK TO WILD ROSE CASTLE

Like father, like son... The Dawn Knight seems remorseful and wonders where they went wrong, if everyone could have been friends if they had chosen some other way. He wants to dream of a world where all races can live together in peace. "One day, it won't be just a dream, it will be reality." It's phrased very similarly to the wish Lilia made in Wish Upon a Star!

The stormy weather clears up and the dawn makes way... IT'S A SIGN THAT THE DAWN KNIGHT PREVAILED AND MELEANOA'S MAGIC HAS DISAPPEARED... Lilia just lets out the most guttural cries... He says if he were stronger, he would have taken Meleanoa with him against her will, HE WASN'T ABLE TO KEEP HIS PROMISE TO PROTECT MELEANOR FOR HIM

I still want to see Mallemom's on-screen death though.

Side note: they force us to play through a scripted loss battle between the Dawn Knight and Meleanor 💀 Sick fucks on the dev team…

This is delicious content :)))))))) We're eatin' well, boiz

Uhhh okay so there are greenish spirits floating around; they're the senate??? Apparently they've already died but their spirits linger and serve as advisors.

… Idk why doesn’t Mallemom do this too???

NAUR, NOT THE SENATE BLAMING AND SHAMING LILIA, SAYING HE RAN AWAY AND LEFT HER TO DIE IN BATTLE... THEY CALL LILIA A MUTT AND BAT, JUST A DIRTY ORPHAN WHO CAN’T BE TRUSTED… AND THAT HE ISN'T FIT TO SERVE, THAT HE'S USELESS (this must really sting seeing as Lilia has insecurities about not being wanted 😭)

Baul defends Lilia's honor but Lilia still resigns from the Imperial Guard. HE'S TELLING THE SENATE T HEY CAN PUNISH HIM SO THEY FORBID HIM FROM STEPPING INTO THE CAPITAL AGAIN

The senate uses magic to take the egg away from Lilia AND LILIA SAYS GOODBYE TO MALLEUS BY NAME

"I'm not an Imperial Guard anymore, I don't need to follow orders" — Lilia (when Baul tells Lilia he still has a duty to hatch the egg). LILIA HAS GIVEN UP and that seems to have summoned the darkness of the dream to them. Lilia thinks Meleanor and/or Levan are in the darkness so he wants to "go there too".

When a general retires, they are gifted a lavish home near Black Scale Castle. Sebek says it now makes sense why Lilia lived humbly in a forest cottage far away from the capital. Silver says it must be why Lilia dislikes the atmosphere of the capital and why he never took Silver there.

In a flashforward, Lilia is asked to come back 10 years later. At this point, Tamago-sama has developed more sentience and is actively rejecting the love magic from everyone, even his grandmother. He has only been receiving magic for the first 5ish years or so. Maleficia had Baul act as a messenger to bring Lilia back for a special mission BECAUSE OTHERWISE MALLEUS WILL DIE WITHOUT IT.

Malleus’s egg is being kept in Cradle Tower! It keeps the egg safe and essential incubates it for the royal family.

Land of Briar becomes Briar Valley? The queen cannot always be with the egg because Briar Valley and its surrounding are lands are left in chaos after the war. Briar Valley fae specifically are not allowed in human territories.

Lilia is sent off on to find a way to fix the situation. He says he will see where dragons live in other continents and research. Omg, this must be how he started his travels and learned more about other races and their cultures 😭

“Don’t you dare die, Malleus” — Lilia (AND THE LOVING DEATH THREAT ACTUALLY MAKES THE EGG GLOW)

We see some of Lilia’s travels AND HE WAS IN THE CITY OF FLOWERS ON TOPSY TURVY DAY... The people there were friendly at first and worrying for his health until they realize he's a fairy, then they chase him out.

During one of his routine reports, Lilia is convinced by Baul to speak with Malleus's egg (which now glows green sometimes). Lilia shares stories of his travels with Malleus, trying to keep it positive for the baby to not make Malleus sad.

NEXT LILIA TRAVELED TO THE SCALDING SANDS, A MERCHANT IS ASKING IF HE WANTS TO BUY A MAGIC LAMP... Lilia learns about the importance of souvenirs as keepsakes from that merchant.

Okay, so it looks like between travels we're getting scenes of Lilia reporting back and telling Malleus about the place he most recently visited. He says that the Scalding Sands used to be such a small civilization but has since grown into a sprawling city. It's amazing what kind of progress humans can make.

Malleus is fussy and some days accepts magic, and other days he doesn't. Meleanor was also a really picky eater. Levan carries himself like an honors student but was the type to hide his veggies.

AW, HE SINGS MELEANOR'S LULLABY TO MALLEUS

Next Lilia visits some ruins...? It looks like a background from the Spectral Realm seen in Endless Halloween Night. Lilia says no one lives here, there is only furniture. No ghosts are mentioned though! He uses his UM for the first time here. Far Cry Cradle is probably going to be very useful for investigating ways to hatch a dragon's egg!

Lilia tells Malleus to come out of the egg, it must be boring just sleeping. He offers to read stories and change his diaper, tells Malleus his dad wants to meet him. Oh, and of course Lilia shares about his UM too! He tells Malleus that he went to the Land of Crimson Long.

Lilia ventures to Harveston!! An old man mistakes Lilia for a kid and takes him in, showing him warmth and kindness. He says he'll leave soon, but the old man and an old woman say he should stay until spring because the weather is harsh.

The lady notices Lilia is fae (but since time has passed, relations between fae and humans have improved a bit). No one is afraid of him here!! They apologize for mistaking him as a kid and want to share stories.

(Not confirmed but it could be interesting if these were Epel’s ancestors Lilia met… Rollo’s ancestors can be the ones running Lilia out of the City of Flowers www)

ABSHDBYOAFVYFAIAEUQRQEOUBFQ LILIA IS 430 AT THIS POINT BUT THAT NUMBER IS SO CLOSE TO 420 IT MAKES ME LAUGH

His feelings are changing... At 450 years old, Lilia tells Malleus that the world has changed so much and he has had the chance to visit many places. ahbyoaybadadB APPARENTLY PEOPLE USED TO THROW STONES AND ROCKS AT HIM.

Lilia says that fae may become things of the past, just creatures of fairy tales. But he doesn't want Malleus to be the main character of a fairy tale, forgotten by time. He wants Malleus to be able to see the world his parents weren’t able to see for themselves 😔

Another time skip, and it's come to a point where the egg is in critical condition. For 3 whole months it has been rejecting Maleficia's magic. The egg has since erected a lightning barrier to protect itself, even though its own heartbeat is growing weaker and weaker. (Malleus throwing another tantrum lol)

Lilia heard weird sounds but no one else could??? Is that a baby crying???? He tries to approach, but almost gets struck down many times.

Lilia realizes Malleus is crying because he's lonely. "Wait for me. I'm coming to you right now!" He gets hit by lightning, but perserves!

Lilia says he will offer his magic, even his lifespan (many fan theorists squealed now that this is confirmed), to Malleus if he needs it, and finally embraces the egg. (Physical contact like holding the egg is said to encourage magic absorption.)

TAMAGO-SAMA??????? 😭 HE SOUNDS LIKE A POKEMON… and he’s already blowing fire even though he’s freshly hatched???

WTF THOUGH BABY MALLEUS IS 1000000000000000000000x CUTER THAN GROWN UP MALLEUS 🫶 (I don’t like modern day Malleus’s looks at all www)

Silver understands why the dream is how it is, because it was all worth it for Lilia to finally meet Malleus. The moment of hatching has to be the happiest moment in Lilia’s life.

The senate shows up and starts praising Lilia as a hero.

OH????? Lilia seems to be waking????

HMMMM? this implies there’s limited suspension of disbelief each dreamer has 🤔 and if pushes past that threshold, then the dreamer is in a confused half awake state. Idia had these little moments of questioning his dream’s reality as well.

The senate’s voices distort, and they start shouting at Lilia for touching the prince, how it will be a scandal if a bat (… is Lilia a bat fae???) “dirties” the Draconias, etc. Mmmm, maybe this is the real reaction and the praising was part of the dream?? Since Lilia seemed to react strangely to being extolled. (I’m still over here wondering why their opinions hold so much weight compared to the queen; surely she would invite her friend Lilia back?? And doesn’t seem to blame him for the death of her daughter?)

Levan has a voice similar to Malleus, but lacks horns.

DVSUBILADUP9FFQEQFFAHAFBFEYBN OB MALLEUS JUMPSCARE, HE FINALLY MANAGED TO BREAK THROUGH INTO LILIA'S DREAM

Okay 😭 Lilia did in fact use his own life span so Malleus could hatch, and then Lilia had Maleficia swear to secrecy because he was concerned Malleus would blame himself. But it also feels like the senate purged or edited the records to hide the fact that Malleus hatched with Lilia’s love??

Malleus tries to convince Lilia to go back to sleep, to not feel pain. He says he can give Lilia a dream where the Draconias are still alive, a dream where Lilia can live peacefully, just take Malleus’s hand—

SILVER COMING IN CLUTCH, he and Sebek vow to break Malleus’s “blessing”. It’s this word that allows Lilia to fully awaken!!! ⏰ He’s so proud of Silver and Sebek…

They fight (well, Lilia distracts Malleus), then Silver uses his UM to hop into another dream.

They run into Ortho?! And then everyone is dropped off in front of Ignihyde.

FINALLY, SHROUD BROTHERS RETURN RIGHT AT THE VERY END!! I was wondering what they were doing while all this shit went down in Lilia's dream... It sounds like the next book 7 update will start off with Idia and Ortho, most likely told via flashback. I assume Ortho was able to help Idia wake up somehow?

This update felt like we got a lot of new lore!! But many of the events that played out were things we already had an inkling about prior to all of this (Meleanor dying, Lilia going on his travels eventually, Lilia helping Malleus hatch, etc.). It's nice to get the confirmation and to have the gaps of time inbetween filled in.

I really appreciate the story showing us just how hard Lilia's life was and then showing us just how important a nugget of happiness after all of that was so worth it for that moment. His VA did a stellar job with the voice acting this update, particularly the sobbing once Malleus hatched. I loved seeing Lilia's travels and how they gradually affected his own mindset over time... how he learned many different things from the people he encountered, and how he passed on that knowledge onto Malleus.

I liked seeing the origins of Lilia’s UM (he’s on a journey to find an answer)! Hearing about Sebek’s was also interesting; seeing as he’s a late bloomer with his magic and how he’s always competing with Silver, his UM manifested when Silver had been admitted to NRC and Sebek was training alone. I wonder if the UM also (in part) rose out of a feeling of inadequacy or feeling like he has to “catch up” to where Silver, Malleus, and Lilia are. No matter how hard it may be, he wants to push past his limits and serve as a knight. Maybe that, too, is why his UM prioritizes power and speed at his own body’s expense. It’s great seeing Sebek open up a little more and insist on fighting alongside fae; in modern day, Sebek has had to fight alongside humans. This is bridging the two sides of himself and helping him to reconcile with his own prejudices 😭

THE WHOLE DRAMA WITH THE SENATE MAKES ME UNDERSTAND WHY LILIA DROPPED THAT LINE ABOUT HISTORY BEING ALTERED OR REWRITTEN. It all makes so much sense now... Lilia himself (at least him hatching Malleus) was written out of history even though he did so much to help his country. He was so disliked, shunned, and shown animosity from the powers that be, and now he doesn't wish for that to happen to others, especially not to Malleus, the one good thing in his life and all that remained of the friends he lost along the way. You really see his teachings coming through in Silver and Sebek when they face off against OB Malleus towards the end. And the way I screeched when Lilia finally woke up after that...

The more I see OB Malleus, the more I get this skin-crawling feeling around him. I know the other OB boys have done arguably worse things (attempted murder, for example) but there's something so awful and insidious about the way Malleus speaks. He's intentionally gaslighting and manipulating others to just give in to his control, taking advantage of even Lilia at his lowest moments to dominate his thoughts. That's scary to think about... especially the dark inversion of Malleus urging Lilia to take his hand, when the game started off with a much more light-hearted and inviting "take my hand" offer.

Anyway!! I've been wondering for a long time what the Shrouds have been up to, and I'm so excited to see their story next update!!

[knotst3r1l3]

OK FCUCK HERE.IT IS THE THING THE THING HERE'S THE FTHING..F DAVID. Dave,.......... so sad i cant ,,,,,, in tags btw....

curse these wretched organs vro what the Fuck man !!!!!!!

[samfkiszka]

Paper Bag: Chapter One

Vampire!Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

Hunger Hurts, and I want him so bad, oh, it kills…

★・・・・・・★

Forced to move back to your father's hometown the summer before your first year at college, you had resided yourself to the fact that the next few months were going to suck.

But that was before you were reacquainted with Danny next door. And before you got a brand new job at a dusty old bookstore run by an eccentric old woman. And before Jake walked into said bookstore, poised to turn your entire world upside down.

Word count: 7,169

Warnings (for this chapter): Light cursing, very vague mentions of a grandparent's passing, maybe some slight spelling errors… (that's literally it)

Chapter 2

Master list

taglist form if you’re interested <3

★・・・・・・★

The incessant whining of a nagging mosquito awakens you from your daydream of sunnier places and brings you back to reality; the reality that you were moving thousands of miles away from your quaint beach town to the vast green that sped past you now. Your father was busy droning on and on about how good this change was going to be. You had to stick your head out the window to stop from losing it inside the interior of his brand new car, a gift from his equally brand new job that had moved him back to his hometown. Sure, you knew deep down you were only going to be there for a summer, and then thankfully it was off to college. Three grueling months of living in this damp swamp that was being passed off as a town. Smacking the side of your neck, you pull your hand back to glance at the gruesome sight. The mosquito twitches involuntarily in your palm, surely a reaction to its untimely and swift death. You could already feel the tingling itch rising up, and by the splatter of blood drying in your hand you knew it was too late. With a sigh, you roll your windows up and turn back your dad who was grinning entirely too much for your liking. 

“Can you at least pretend to be happy about this? I know you’re only going to be here for a few months, but I would appreciate it if you tried.” 

“I just don’t see why you couldn’t have waited until after I moved out,” you grumbled. This had been a source of tension between the two of you for quite a while now. It wasn’t like you were going to make any friends. Without the help of school you were going to be utterly alone for the next summer. You already missed your friends deeply, longing to see them as soon as possible. But unless they could somehow save up enough for the cross country flight, it seemed to you that you were doomed to a summer of absolutely nothing.  

“I know it’s tough. But try to be a little understanding. You used to come here all the time with me to visit Grandma and Grandpa, remember?” He looks away from the road for a second, his face painted with hope. His smile falls when he sees the angry look you’ve been sporting for the entirety of the ride from the airport. “Come on, please, just… cut me some slack. This is going to be great for both of us.” 

You hum in response, not knowing what else to say. He sighs, gripping the steering wheel and clearing his throat as the car pulls into a gravel driveway leading to a house that is simply too big for the two of you. It was the kind of house meant for a much larger family, and in its youth that was exactly what resided between its brick walls. Your father, along with his many siblings, spent their youth terrorizing your poor grandparents until they grew up, leaving them alone. Your grandfather’s bird feeder still inhabits the front porch that you had spent many a summer afternoon occupying. You were certain that the room you had always slept in when you visited, the room that was now expressly yours, would be the exact same as it was in your childhood. Just as this house had seemed untouched by time, as did every neighboring one. 

Your father, obviously attempting to get back on your good side has hauled what little bags you had packed up the porch steps, setting them down to unlock the door. Thanks to his arrival merely a week before yours, mostly everything had been unpacked. You were silently grateful that you would not have to spend days unpacking painful memories. Not that you were in the mood to thank your father for anything in particular right now. All that was left to do was sulk in your new, yet familiar, bedroom. But before you had the chance to angrily stomp up the stairs, the old doorbell that you didn’t even know existed rang out through the house. You peer past the entry way as your dad heaves the heavy oak door open, revealing a slightly familiar face. 

“Hello, Daniel.” Your father welcomes the boy in, seeming exasperated at his appearance. If this Daniel had noticed it, he simply ignored it, grinning ear to ear and surveying the room. 

“Danny,” he corrected swiftly before continuing, “I was just wondering if-” 

As if your father could read minds he waves in your general direction, answering Danny. 

“She’s here. Not in the best of moods, but-” 

“I can hear you.” You interject, striding into the room and taking Danny’s appearance in. He was wearing a shirt that seemed too small for him, and his remedy for this was clearly chopping the sleeves off. He was too tan for the apparent lack of sun in this town, and he took every opportunity to flash his perfect teeth at you. 

“Hey! It’s nice to finally see you again!” He reaches his hand out and you take it hesitantly. His skin is far too warm considering it was barely sixty degrees outside. 

“Again?” 

“You remember the Wagners, don’t you honey?” Your dad casually drops the name as if it would enlighten you any further. It’s not like you had ever spent longer than a week here. Of course you didn’t remember the Wagners. 

“I’m Danny, I live across the street from your grandparents- well, from you guys,” He offered, dropping your hand and casually stuffing his back into the pockets of his shorts, “You used to hang out with my sister when you were younger.” 

You rack your brain, trying to pull up any memory that would help. You get vague flashes of a boy your age, somehow recalling a sister slightly younger than the two of you that you always preferred to play with. 

“Oh!” You gasp, feigning surprise and hoping it satiates both him and your father, “Yes Danny and Josie. Of course I remember you two.” 

“Daniel has been stopping by all week asking when you’d be here,” Your dad mumbles to you, and if this information embarrassed Danny he surely doesn’t let it show.  As if tired of this boy’s presence, your father drifts out of the room leaving just the two of you to talk. 

“Sorry about all that,” you mumble apologetically, “I’ve been in a shitty mood all day, I think I set him off.” 

“No, It’s definitely my fault. I really have been bugging him all week,” Danny laughs so effortlessly that it almost puts you at ease. Maybe you weren't as friendless as you thought you’d be. “Josie went to summer camp this summer and I’ve been insanely bored,” he explains. 

“You didn’t go with her?” 

“Nah, too old. Kinda thought I’d stay here and cause a bunch of trouble,” he laughs easily again, “Plus, I’ve got a summer job down at the golf course. Certified cart boy,” he finished with a sense of unearned pride and you bite back a laugh that was sure to come off as harsh. 

And in all honesty, a summer job didn’t seem like an awful idea. Sure, you knew it was a bad idea to set down roots considering you were leaving soon enough; but, could it really hurt to make a few friends?  To have a reason to get out of the house every day? And it’s not like a little extra cash wouldn’t help. 

“Are they still hiring?” You ask, your voice laced with hope. 

“No,” he frowns, looking sincerely sorry that he won’t be able to offer you a job. “But I heard the bookstore down on Sun Avenue is looking for a cashier, ” He added with another pearly white grin. 

Sun Avenue. How ironic, you think to yourself, mulling over the idea. A bookstore doesn’t sound half bad anyway, in fact it seemed a near perfect fit for you. 

“That would actually be great! Is there a number I could call, or-” 

“No, don’t worry. I know the owner!” He beamed. Of course he knew the owner. Danny seemed like he knew the entire town. “If you want to meet me there tomorrow, I can introduce you to Mrs. Palmer. I’m sure she’ll love you. She’s pretty desperate too, most people leave during the summer. I bet she’d hire you on the spot.” 

“Yeah, trust me, I’d rather spend my summer anywhere but here too.” 

“It’s not all that bad,” he mumbled, a look of hurt crossing over his otherwise overly joyous face, “You can always hang out with me.” 

You felt bad for a moment. For a boy you barely knew you were eager to make him smile and laugh again. It was nice to have someone in your corner despite your unwillingness to be here. 

“That’s true. I’d love to hang out with you. And, yeah I can meet you at the bookstore tomorrow. I really appreciate it,” you reply earnestly, unable to stop the smile that spread across our face mirroring his own. His positive energy was honestly infectious.

“Great! I can meet you there tomorrow around noon!” He beams, bouncing with excitement and making his way to the door. Your dad reemerged from wherever he had been hiding as soon as Danny left. 

“That kid has got to be on something,” he shakes his head, eyeing the door like Danny could bust in at any moment. “Or maybe I’m not used to someone smiling that much.” He nudged your side, attempting to get back in your good graces.  

“Hah hah hah,” you mumble sarcastically, rolling your eyes and beginning your trek upstairs to your room. The door creaks open and you are pleasantly surprised to see your dad had decorated it in an almost identical fashion to your old room. Staring at the posters that adorned the walls, you started to feel like maybe you had never left home at all. The bed was even slightly bigger than your old one, a concession you were pleased to make. Flopping down with a huff, you glare at the ceiling, noticing the glow in the dark stars you had foolishly placed up there one year were still stuck to the ceiling. 

Exhaustion from your early flight washed over you. You were never really a morning person. Fighting the urge to fall asleep you gently lift up, staring out the window at the setting sun. The clouds covered up what could be a beautiful scene, the usual pink and orange hue you were used to back home suddenly replaced by gray and green. You pull the purple curtains closed, grimacing at the ugly hue you had picked out when you were younger. Maybe you’d be able to convince your dad to replace them with newer ones. You were, afterall, displaced and depressed. 

The floorboards were awfully loud as you went from room to room, making a mental map of each one. Your father had left his parents’ room untouched, evident in the fact that your grandmother’s glasses still sat on her nightstand. You smile softly, not lingering too long before you make it to the bathroom to ready yourself for bed. Everything in this house seemed to make unnecessary noises, the knobs on the sink squeaking as you turned them around to allow the water to flow out. After a confusing few moments of trying to find where your father had put everything, you were ready and back in your room. Your bed was a lot more comforting than you recalled, lulling you to sleep quickly. Not even the nervousness of meeting up with Danny could keep you up. Soon enough you were gone, dreaming of home. 

But the good dreams didn’t last as long as you had hoped. What started off as a pleasant image of your old backyard full of friends and sunshine was soon replaced with something much darker. You can’t quite make out the scene, but soon you were thrashing against the covers and slamming a hand to your neck. When you pull it back a speckle of blood is adorning your fingers. You realize with a groan that you had scratched the mosquito bite so hard in your sleep that it had begun to bleed. You had dark blood under your nails and you wince at the faint burning feeling that now plagued your skin. Shaking your head as if it would expel the dream, you lean up to peer at the alarm clock settled on the bedside table. 

Despite your rowdy dreams you had managed to sleep in well past when you had planned to wake up. Massaging your temples you remember your promise the day before to meet Danny at the bookstore. 

Ambling sleepily across the expanse of your new room you tore your curtains open to reveal another gloomy day. Somehow you managed to get ready with clothes scattered around several open suitcases and your vague remembrance of where your dad had put everything from the night before. Traipsing down the stairs, you peer into your dad’s office, mumbling a good morning that he barely acknowledges as he continues to work on something clearly more important. The kitchen is all but barren and you wonder how he had been surviving the week before you got here. You make a mental note to stop at the grocery store after the bookshop, and you leave a note on the fridge for your dad telling him where you were going.

The walk into town is uneventful, but you are shocked that you somehow remember how to get there. It’s like your feet carry themselves, subconsciously remembering this area from when you were younger. Your odd dreams from last night are distant in your mind, and you ignore the nagging thoughts that urge you to go back to it. Soon enough you’re standing outside Palmer’s Books and More!, greeting an always cheerful Danny. He had traded his sleeveless tee for a somewhat more appropriate outfit, one that you soon realized was his work uniform, yet he still sported his pearly white grin. 

“You okay? You look a little tired,” he teases, poking your side and earning a glare from you. 

“Gee, thanks,” you grumble, smoothing out your shirt and suddenly feeling very nervous, “I didn’t sleep great last night. Do I really look that bad?” 

“No! You look great!” He flushed, but came back quickly. “Mrs. Palmer is gonna love you, I swear.” 

You frown, anxiety coursing through your body. He pushes through the door and the two of you are immediately greeted by an older lady, who you assumed to be Mrs. Palmer. She was smaller than the both of you, her stature swallowed by the oversized white sweater she was wearing. Everything else about her seemed too big in comparison to her height. Her glasses covered half her face, magnifying her piercing eyes. She grinned at Danny, eyeing you suspiciously. 

“Hello, Daniel! You brought a visitor?” Everyone in this town was entirely too cheerful for you, you decided. 

“Yes ma’am. This is my friend I was telling you about! The one that just moved here.” 

You don’t have much time to wonder when he had had the time to talk to her about you specifically. You introduce yourself, leaning down to shake her hand. You are thoroughly surprised when she pulls you in for a hug instead, knocking the wind out of you. Danny stifled a giggle and you mentally prepared to kick him as soon as you were out of view from anyone who could chastise you for it. 

“Oh, you have no idea how happy I am to meet you,” she began rambling, “I knew your father when he was just a baby. I went to school with both of your grandparents. Well, it was just a tragedy when they- But, of course… Yes, that is simply the passage of time. I missed your family dearly, I am so pleased that you’re back.” 

Not knowing what to say in response to all that, you simply smile as she pulls back and wipes a lone tear from her eye. 

Was everyone in this town crazy? You wonder, as she leads you and Danny around the store. Despite obviously being here a thousand times before, Danny listened in awe as she explained the history of the store and where everything was located. She never once offered you the job, seemingly operating under the conclusion that you were without a doubt the newest- and only other- employee of her shop. Not that you minded in the slightest; the idea of a formal interview was much more frightening than whatever this was. 

“So… Can you start today?” She asks, wringing her hands together. She had a curious habit of pausing as she spoke, starting sentences and never quite finishing them. 

“Today?” you try to hide the shock in your voice. It’s not like you had planned much today besides restocking the empty kitchen, but you wouldn’t mind the mind numbing tasks. The job didn’t seem very hard, and not a single customer had walked in since you and Danny had begun your little tour. 

She stared up at you hopefully, and you felt your stomach twist. How could you say no? 

“Uh- Yes! Yes, of course, I can start right now!” You try to sound as excited as possible, eyeing Danny nervously as he continues to sport his all too familiar smile. Surely this wasn’t how real jobs operated.

“Amazing!” He clapped his hands together loud enough that you almost jumped, “I’ll come visit you after I get off and we can walk home together.” He bounces out of the store, waving at the both of you. 

Mrs. Palmer vanished for a moment, coming back with a name tag that she had hurriedly scrawled your name on. She explained how the cash register worked,  and although it was very intuitive, you were grateful for the extra explanations. The longer you focused on menial tasks the less time you had to dwell on everything; your new home, your new friend, your strange dreams. Of course as soon as she realized you understood, she vanished once again. 

Your shift passed by slowly, only a handful of people stopping by to purchase new arrivals you had never heard of. A few of them recognized you, reaching across the counter to hug you or shake your hand. You were almost ashamed to admit that you did not know who any of them were. Your theory that everyone who lived here was entirely too gleeful was proven even more correct with each passing hour. Despite the gloomy weather, everyone brought in the same cheery disposition, and as the sun began to set you wondered how you could ever fit in without radiating the same sunshine they all did. The store was mere moments from closing when the door rang once more, causing you to look up from the paperwork Mrs. Palmer had asked you to fill out as part of your unofficial application. 

This customer seemed different from the rest of the earlier visitors. For one, the grin that graced his face was nowhere near as ear splitting as everyone else’s. It was better described as a smug smirk. Secondly, the almost blinding paleness of his skin felt more fitting for this weather than the tan everyone else was sporting. He almost floated around the shelves, and you tried not to stare as his long fingers danced over the books. He chuckled at seemingly nothing, and you shook yourself out of your stupor. You hadn’t meant to look for so long; well, you hadn’t planned on getting caught. Surely, no one could blame you for being unable to pry your eyes off of him. You have never seen someone more beautiful. His long brown hair fell in slight waves past his shoulders, framing his nearly bare chest. He was wearing a black button up, opting to leave only the bottom two buttons fastened. His neck was adorned with several silver necklaces, and despite the setting sun he had a pair of circular black sunglasses covering his eyes; which you were sure were just as gorgeous as the rest of him. His face was nearly indescribable and yet you couldn’t stop yourself from attempting to take in every detail. In fact, every prior thought had left your brain; you were absolutely consumed by this man. You take him in again, trying to drink in every small feature that made him up. You slowly realized he couldn’t be much older than you. Once the haze wore off you were able to digest his almost boyish face. You were just wondering if Danny knew him when you heard him let out a sharp laugh at absolutely nothing. 

The sound jolted you from your thoughts and you suddenly felt the need to pay attention to anything but him. You fix your eyes on the old cash register, pretending to be extremely occupied with the amount of money in it when he suddenly clears his throat. You jump back, wondering how he had made it across the store so quickly when he smirks again. Any other person would have you rolling your eyes at their superior attitude, but something about him made you shrink back. 

“Hello. I was wondering if you had Candide in stock yet?” His voice was sickeningly sweet, as if his tongue was dripping in honey as he spoke. 

“Candide?” 

“You know… Voltaire?” He continues, pulling his sunglasses off to reveal a pair of striking ochre colored eyes. 

“I.. I literally just started today. Um, I could help you look… I-” You stammer out as Mrs. Palmer comes ambling out of her office. 

“Jacob!” She exclaims happily, holding a rather worn book gently in her frail hands. 

He slightly bows to meet her, graciously accepting the book from her and gently tucking it under his arm. 

“Thank you, Evelyn. How much do I owe you?” 

You couldn’t help but huff out in annoyance at his dismissal of you. For some odd reason you felt the need to prove yourself to him. He grins again, letting out a quiet chuckle you were sure Mrs. Palmer didn’t hear. 

“Absolutely nothing!” She waved dismissively, quickly turning back to her office. 

“Don’t be silly!” he called, pulling a black leather wallet out of his pants. He pulled out several bills, pulling her back and slipping them into her palm in a discreet handshake. “I have more money than I need and nothing to do with it.” He smiled sweetly, his pink lips stretching across his rather pale skin. His soft, yet alluring, voice seemed oddly familiar to you. Maybe you had met him before, years ago. It’s not like this was a very large town. Mrs. Palmer flushed, waving him off but still pocketing the cash he had handed to her. She waves a quick goodbye, fluttering back to the office she so enjoyed to disappear to. 

Yet, Jacob stayed put, only turning to you once you both heard the slam of the office door. 

“I don’t think I know you,” He whispers, his boots making quiet clicking noises on the linoleum floor. 

“I… Well my dad and I, we just moved back here. Um, I used to come here every once in a while though. My grandparents live here, or they did before-” you cut yourself off, feeling like you were telling him entirely too much.

“Hmm.” He hums as he flips through his recent purchase. He was much too nonchalant for your liking. Usually, you would prefer this kind of behavior, especially after spending a day interacting with some of the most cheerful people you had ever met. But you wanted, no you needed, him to like you. “And, you are…?” He inquires, and you quickly respond with your name. 

“And you’re Jacob.” You posit. 

“Mhm. Just Jake is fine.” 

Jake didn’t seem as fitting as Jacob, which truthfully didn’t seem to fit him very well either. He seemed like he belonged in a century much earlier than this one. The way he spoke, the way he held himself, he just simply did not seem real. 

“You’re not walking home alone tonight are you?” He wondered aloud, barely addressing you, and you immediately felt defensive. 

“No, my friend is walking me back.” 

“Good. You have no idea what kind of… monsters are lurking these streets,” He leans across the counter slightly, his face inches from yours. The teasing lilt in his voice only served to intrigue you more.

As if you summoned him Danny comes sauntering in, his usual grin fading as soon as he spots Jake. Jake had pulled back the second the bell attached to the door rang, and he turned gracefully on his heel. 

“Ah, Wagner. Nice to see you again,” Jake’s smug smirk was back, and Danny grimaced at his words. 

“Kiszka,” he grumbles, skirting past Jake. Jake glides out, and Danny follows him with his eyes until he is fully out of the store. “God, that guy gives me the creeps.” He shivered to emphasize his point.

“You know him?” you ask as you gather your things, shooting a quick goodbye to Mrs. Palmer. 

“I know of him. He moved here like two years ago with his brothers. They’re all really weird. Their younger brother went to school with us but he never really bonded with anyone. They kind of all just stick to themselves. Well, Jake goes out and about a lot, mostly at night,” He begins, holding the door open for you as you both start down the sidewalk and towards your houses. He glanced around to make sure no one was in earshot before continuing, “I kind of feel bad for them. No parents, no other family, just each other. But, they’re kind of… freaky,” he whispered the last word and you giggled at his reluctance to speak freely. 

“Don’t laugh! I swear, that guy is everywhere.” He glanced around him as if to emphasize his point.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were scared Daniel.” You tease him, nudging his side. But he didn’t laugh back. 

“I'm serious. I’d stay away from that guy, there’s something super off about him.” 

“He seemed okay to me.” You shrug, more intrigued than put off. “What do you mean they have no family?” 

“I don’t know a ton about the story, just what I heard from around. But… I think their mom and dad died a few years back. Maybe a car accident or something? And as soon as Jake was old enough he adopted Sam, even though they aren’t much older than him. I’m not sure how it works honestly. They live in this huge house just outside of town. No clue how they afford it, none of them work,” he scoffed, obviously annoyed by their mere presence in his town. 

You hummed, taking in all that Danny had said. And yet all you could think about were his striking eyes… and how beautiful his face was. You didn’t really care if Danny thought he was dangerous. From what you learned, he seemed like he had been through a lot, especially for someone so young. 

“I know I can’t control you, but just be careful, okay? He really gives me the willies.” 

You had arrived at your front door. The glow from the porch light illuminated his face, which was creased with worry. 

“The willies? I can protect myself, I promise.” You take his hand and wrap your pink around his, “Pinky promise,” you emphasize. 

He smiled softly again, squeezing your finger and reluctantly letting your hand go. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Can’t let you walk to work alone.” 

“Not with all those monsters, huh?” You tease. 

“Yeah, yeah. No monsters. See ya,” he calls, already heading over to his house. 

“Night, Danny.”  

With a sigh you heave open the heavy front door, waving goodnight to your father who was so entrenched with work he was barely able to acknowledge you. Trudging up the creaky stairs, you wondered how so much had changed in the span of twenty-four hours. With the prospect of a biweekly paycheck and a slightly overbearing new friend, living in this sunless town seemed slightly more bearable. Not to mention your meeting of a rather… interesting stranger. You tried to push all thoughts of Jake out of your brain, to absolutely no avail. Something about him invaded all your senses from the moment he stepped into that damn bookstore. 

You fall onto your bed rather ungracefully, shoving your face into your pillow and groaning. Barely a day in this town and you’ve already developed a slightly unhinged and rather unhealthy obsession with a stranger you barely just met. Part of you hoped that he would be a regular customer, and from his interaction with Mrs. Palmer, you were sure he would be. You’d be sure not to mention your secret hope to Danny, considering his reaction to the very short interaction he shared with Jake. Danny’s odd prejudice aside, he hadn’t said anything truly worrying about the man. 

You slept peacefully that night, no more strangely vivid dreams to plague your mind. In fact, when you woke up you had absolutely no memory of dreaming at all. 

Work was agonizingly slow the next morning. Even the walk to the store with Danny was surprisingly uneventful. It didn’t help that the entire day you had been hoping to catch a glimpse of Jake. Even just his passing silhouette in the street would ease the slight ache in your chest. You weren’t one to obsess like this, especially not over a man you didn’t know. But you longed to get to know him, to learn what made him so intoxicatingly alluring,

And to your surprise, and satisfaction, he did show. In fact, an entire week passed and he visited every single night you occupied the space behind the register. 

Nothing out of the ordinary happened. He would come in, speak to you softly, purchase a worn book, and leave the store as soon as Danny popped back in to escort you home. You had grown increasingly fond of this routine. Deep down, you assumed this is all you were going to get from him anyway. 

That was until Saturday night.

Of course, he caught you entirely off guard when he arrived. He glided in gracefully, once more at night, all while you were absentmindedly stocking a dusty front shelf. He cleared his throat calmly when you failed to notice his arrival, and you nearly jumped ten feet in the air at the abruptness of it all. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you,”  He murmured casually, his voice just as velvety as you remembered. 

“No, it’s okay. I’m pretty easily startled,” You chuckle nervously, wiping your hands on your pants and turning to give him your entire attention. “Can I help you with anything?” You try to ignore the slight shaking in your voice as you fail to look him fully in the eyes. 

He had opted to forgo the pair of glasses he usually wore when you crossed paths, leaving his extremely vibrant eyes on full display. Once again he was wearing an almost completely unbuttoned shirt, allowing you to take in the expanse of his bare chest. He was close enough now that the barrier of  the front counter was gone that you could make out the dangly pendants that decorated his neck in extreme detail. 

“Maybe,” he mused, a pleasant look washing over his features, “I’m looking for another book.” 

“Yeah, most people who come in are looking for books,” you try to tease, failing to do so when your voice shakes slightly. “Anything in particular?”

“No. If I'm being quite honest I came in here to see you again,” he professed, grabbing a book and flipping through the pages before sliding it back into its proper position. “I seem to have failed to come up with a good enough lie in time though… I had more than enough time to.” 

“Honesty is usually the best policy.” You steady yourself, trying to ignore the quickening pace of your heart at his admission. He smiles widely, and you wondered if he could somehow hear the palpitations. 

“Usually. Sometimes it’s much more appealing to lie,” He paused for a moment, seeming pensieve, “I wouldn’t mind rereading something by Camus.” 

“You’re really into French literature, huh?” You ask, leading him down to the aisle where you were sure to find something by his requested author. “You know, most people come in here looking for a good romance novel. Maybe a really bad mystery. You might be the only person who’s ever seen this part of the store.” 

“I find that most people here don’t look that deeply.” 

You wondered if this had something to do with how people thought of him. Throughout your morning walks with Danny you had come to learn that he wasn’t the only person in the town that harbored negative feelings towards the elusive Kiszka brothers. You still couldn’t quite understand why. He seemed more than perfectly fine to you. 

“Ah…” he whispered, pulling a battered copy of The Stranger off the shelves. He blew the dust off the cover and turned it over in his hands. “I always enjoyed Camus' perspective on life.” 

“Really? So, ‘life has no meaning and death is the only certainty in life?’” 

“I said I enjoyed his viewpoints, not that I agreed with them. I simply find them entertaining. Death is never guaranteed, and life certainly isn’t without purpose.”

“So what do you suppose is the purpose of life?” You continue, choosing to ignore his claim that death isn’t everyone’s promised ending. 

“Isn't it all about creating your own purpose?” he observed, finally looking back up at you. He studied your face for a moment, and you felt overwhelmed by the sudden attention. You thought, for just a mere moment, that his eyes flickered down to your lips before they skirted back up to your eyes. You shied away from his eye contact, coughing nervously and turning back to face the shelf. 

“Very philosophical Jacob.” 

“Jake,” he corrected. 

The two of you stood in silence for a beat, and you were completely unsure of what to say next. You had glossed over his profession of coming in to simply see you, and now you wished you hadn’t. On a better day, with someone who was easier to talk to, you would have teased him. Maybe even mustered up the courage to flirt with him. But something about Jake terrified you.

He cleared his throat again, and you were pleased to find him looking ever so slightly nervous himself. 

“I was… I was wondering if you would like to go out with me one night.” The words lacked his usual self assuredness, which shocked you slightly. 

You tried to stop your jaw from completely detaching from your skull. Surely you had gone so far past the point of delusion that you were now hallucinating- rather vividly, you might add- that Jake was… asking you out. He seemed to grow impatient and slightly frustrated with your lack of a response, and yet he composed himself better than you could dream of. 

“Go out? Me?” You mentally punch yourself for not being able to come up with a better response. Your desperate need to make him like you only grew stronger with each interaction. You wondered if he knew how he affected you, and by the way you could barely look at him you were sure he did. 

“Preferably. I’d hoped I made that clear,” he laughed, and your heart skipped a beat. You wondered if his was pounding quite as hard as yours. He smirked again at absolutely nothing. 

“Um,” it was like you had forgotten every word in the English language. This was so thoroughly unlike you. Usually you had more than enough to say. 

Say something! Anything! 

Your brain was positively screaming at you in a voice that surely didn’t belong to you. 

“Yes. I would love to,” you say definitively, unsure how you had even gathered the ability to speak when he was staring at you so intensely. 

“‘Perfect. Tonight?” His tone was eager and you wanted to soak in the hopeful look that knitted his brows together. 

“I- Danny. Danny’s already walking me home tonight…” 

Goddamn Danny. 

As if on cue, he sauntered through the door of the building. He was less than pleased with Jake’s nightly visits, and he didn’t bother to hide it. He was never anything less than frustratingly punctual to interrupt your conversations. It seemed his slight distaste surrounding him had grown to near hatred. He always seemed to grimace when you brought him up, despite your attempts to not sound too interested when you spoke his name. 

“I’m sure he won’t mind walking home alone without you for just one night.” Jake’s usual velvety voice was back in your ear. 

You began to say something before Danny had fully made his way to where you and Jake were standing. You instinctively stepped away from Jake, not really understanding why. Danny’s usual grin slowly faded into a scowl, and you wished you could understand why he harbored such a strange resentment for him. 

“C’mon, I wanna get home soon. I think it’s about to start raining,” Danny mumbles, reaching for your arm. He was staring daggers at Jake while he spoke. 

“Wait- Just one second Danny,” you give him a sympathetic look, hoping he can sense that you need a moment alone. He grumbles under his breath and steps away, just enough that you can still see his tense shoulders as he leans against a wall opposite you and Jake. 

“I’m sorry, he’s just…” you pause, searching for the right words, “How about tomorrow night? I’m off, you can pick me up at home?” You suggested, worried he would hate the idea. 

“Of course.” He smiled as you rushed to the front, scribbling your address down on a scrap of receipt paper. 

“Beautiful,” he says, staring down at the smeared red ink, “I’ll see you at 6.” 

That’s all he leaves you with as he walks out of the store, not bothering to bid Danny a passing glance. You suddenly feel like you’re going to pass out as Danny turns to face you, the anger on his face replaced with a pleased look. He was always happy to see you. He gives you a moment to gather your things and you walk in silence for a while. You can tell he’s itching to say something by the way he’s bouncing around and refusing to meet your face. 

“Danny, if you don’t spit it out I’m going to go crazy,” you eventually announce, surprising so much so that he stops in his tracks. 

“I just… wanted to know what you guys were talking about is all.” 

He sounded like a dejected child, and any other night you would have laughed at his immature tone. But tonight your nerves were entirely too ramped up to indulge his antics. 

“He kind of asked me out,” you state matter of factly. 

“Kind of?” 

“Okay, not kind of. He’s- he’s taking me ... somewhere tomorrow night.” You winced, scared that he would… Well, you couldn’t imagine him angry. But you were more than aware that he didn’t like Jake, and he certainly wouldn’t enjoy you going on a date with him. 

To your surprise, he didn’t say anything. This was more than shocking considering he had spent the past few nights on a nonstop tangent about the Kiszka family. You learned about the three brothers: Jacob, Joshua, and Samuel. You learned about the big house that was occupied on the outskirts of town, the big house that no one had ever really visited. For someone who seemingly couldn’t stand the family, Danny knew quite a bit about them. You figured it was unfair that you knew so much about Jake, regardless of how true it was, when he knew nothing about you. You supposed that would be amended tomorrow night, though. 

Danny told you about the youngest, Sam, and how he had excelled in school. According to him, Sam was smart enough to be accepted into any Ivy League college. And yet, he stayed in this little town that had nothing to offer. You found that endearing, though you were sure not to reveal that insight to Danny. He never shared a single piece of information that would allow you to understand why he distrusted them, and you had begun to wonder if he ever had a real reason. 

And despite all this, he stayed silent. You had spent those earlier nights wishing he would shut up about Jake, and now you found yourself silently begging him to say something again. Even if he screamed, cursed you out, begged you not to go out with him. 

Why do you care so much? The little voice from earlier whispered in your head. You didn’t have an answer. 

Danny walked in stunned silence until he stopped at the last lamppost before reaching both of your houses. When he finally spoke it startled you. 

“I told you I have no control over you. It would be insane of me to want that. Look, I really just want you to be happy. And… I don’t really hate the guy. Just freaks me out a little. That’s it. Seriously.” Though he didn’t sound like he actually believed the words coming out of his mouth. 

“Thank you,” you start, shifting on your feet as you whisper, “I mean it. I know it’s stupid but… you're my only friend here. I wouldn’t wanna piss you off or anything.” You try to laugh but it catches in your throat. Why do you care so much? This time it was your voice screaming at you. “If it makes you feel any better it’s not gonna be anything serious. I'm only here for the summer,” you reminded him, much to his dismay. 

“Yeah. I know. Only for the summer. G’night sunshine,” he breathed softly as he led you to your door. 

You watched him make his way into his own home, but you stayed glued to the porch long past his departure. Staring at the cloudy sky that was beginning to pour down, you were able to make out one star that was shining a lot brighter than the others. You were too old to believe that wishing on a star would do anything, but that wasn’t going to stop you. You pushed down the embarrassed version of yourself that was screaming at you to not believe in something that foolish, and you silently mouth a single wish before heading inside and collapsing in bed.

[starsfic]

My grandmother tried to kill me so she could make a "perfect" grandchild

Hi magical side of Reddit. I know people usually come on this side to ask for help with spells and stuff, but I need to vent and it's magic-related, so...

For context, I (14F) am the daughter of a fashion designer(40F) and businessman(42M) that run a fashion house together. I also have an uncle(41M), a second cousin(41M) that is married to one of my mother's best friends(39F) and his mother (my great-aunt), and grandparents on both side of the family. Now, since I was about three, we have been NC with my paternal grandparents. I didn't know why, and I didn't really question it- all I remember of them was that my grandma was really friendly, but my grandpa was super cold and apparently both were super controlling.

Earlier today, I was helping my father wash dishes, talking about his childhood. My mother has a lot of funny stories from her childhood but my father- thanks to controlling parents- didn't have any funny stories. I was wondering about that since my grandma had seemed fun-loving and my father casually dropped that she tried to kill me when I was three.

So...fun fact, apparently, my grandparents apparently found a magical artifact that could make monsters and people. Apparently, they were meant for warriors, but my grandparents decided to make kids with them. Apparently, my great-aunt had been infertile for a long time and my grandma didn't like my father because he was more like my grandpa instead of her. So she used the artifact to make her perfect child, my uncle.

Anyway, my father had to deal with that whole mess into high school when he met my mother. My mother, for a short while, had a massive crush on my uncle and my grandma encouraged that, believing that they were the best match. Things fell apart (my father didn't explain this but he did mention something about sausage hair under his breath) and my mother ended up dating my father and got married to him.

My grandma then tried to convince them not to have a natural child and instead let her make the perfect grandchild. My parents, who were not detached from reality, refused and had me. After that, said my father, she calmed down about the perfection stuff...

Until one summer when they found her trying to drown me.

Apparently she wanted to give me a swimming lesson, ignoring the fact that I had been taking swimming lessons since I was a baby, and got annoyed when I wanted to stop. Father thinks this was a BS excuse for her to try and get an opportunity to make a "perfect" grandchild.

My father kept my mother from killing her. Apparently he regrets that.

[jackalopesao3]

The Real Real Cocytus Hall Collapsed:

This actually gave me real insight as to why Solomon is culinary challenged. Fair warning: Solomon roast ahead! It’s all in good fun and this WW gave me a laugh! I do enjoy Solomon’s character a lot!

A plastic bag? In the oven?! You know what happens to plastic bags in the oven?! I feel like I can’t say anything because I mistook wax paper for cooking sheets and made my house super smoky once.

(They were melting chocolate.)

You set the chocolate on fire?! Chocolate isn’t hard to melt! I can’t bake very well but I help my mother and melting chocolate and butter is something even I can do. There are several different ways you can do it too. With the microwave, it’s pretty self-explanatory.

Now, you have likely burnt chocolate with your melted chocolate. Why can’t you just follow the directions?

But wait…this gets so much worse!

(Read More due to length)

Shadow newt intestines?! Muddy spice?! Did Barbatos say to add any of those? No!

In all fairness they could be legit Devildom food but they could also be alchemy ingredients (or, most likely, both).

Sir, this isn’t your science experiment!

We all know alchemy ingredients can have unwanted effects. Also, assuming muddy spice tastes…muddy? That with the newt intestines is not going to be a pleasant flavor for the dessert.

Isn’t it easier and quicker just to sift it than to recite a whole ass spell?! This is just arrogance. Magic isn’t always better. We already know some lingering magic gets mixed into whatever the old man cooks when he pulls stunts like this.

Delicious?!

Delicious?!

Get out of here with your deadass tastebuds, grandpa!

Magic can be an absolute must for sorcerers in their careers and yet be separated from cooking and baking. It doesn’t need to be in every aspect of your life, especially when proven time after time to cause disastrous results. Remember when your cooking sent MC back in time?!

Pics taken moments before disaster strikes.

Oh Luke, what was that noise indeed? I believe it was the death cry of any hope that MC had for a relaxing afternoon. No wait, that’s just the poor oven finally succumbing to probably centuries (I mean he’s stayed there before) of Solomon’s torture.

RIP Good Soldier - You fought bravely

Barbatos has the tired mom look. He didn’t need to use his powers to know this would happen. Someone please give this man a vacation.

Funny that you think there’s a kitchen left to check on, Barb. MC is probably trying to scramble out of the sinkhole that was once Cocytus Hall. The oven exploding probably opened up a rift in space/time.

(un)Fortunately, Luke, Solomon is immortal. He will live to torture us yet again with his cooking. 🤣

Conclusion: It’s not that he can’t cook, or that he’s clueless. Solomon’s hubris from being a sorcerer (magic will make it better!) and dependence on magic (I strongly believe he’s dependent on it at this point) are the reason for his disastrous dishes.

Solomon, you silly old man, I love you but you gotta get with the times and stop using magic for everything!

[zombiecowboy65]

At this exact moment, I think Jeremy and Allison have similar backstories. I’m sure ill change my mind in ten minutes but what’s your Jeremy theory RIGHT NOW 👀👀

I literally had a whole essay drafted in response to this and then my app crashed. Omg. But essentially I’ve been crashing out about this for the past three hours and here is what I’ve got:

The problem with any Jeremy theory is that it has to hit several markers. For example, it has to be exy related because his sister went out of her way to forget everything about the sport, but it can't be too exy related or bad enough that Jeremy wouldn't still play. It has to have broken up the family, but it can't be too serious bc his family hasn't disowned him/he's still in the grandpa's campaign stuff/he's captain of a D1 sports team. And it has to somehow be at least indirectly his fault, but not his fault to a point of irredeemability.

One thing I noticed is that Jeremy seriously acts like a guy who had a secret blown up in his face. (Ex: constantly mentioning that he hopes he doesn’t “regret” something, the anxiety he had when he didn’t tell cat and Laila about Jean’s reaction to the pool) . And he DOES seriously push to try and help , and at some point I think he even says he wouldn’t give up bc the truth was so close he could taste it?

He also (and this could honestly just be him being quirky) has different ringtones for EVERYONE and seems to answer his phone as soon as it rings/as soon as he can. But again , this could be nothing.

Regardless, though— theory #1 is that Jeremy’s brother was maybe doing something dangerous/having a rough go of it, and Jeremy knew and kept his mouth shut? Maybe he left the brother alone and went to his exy banquet and went Mia for a bit, and the scandal was whatever he was doing/his brother’s death? And then the way it would be tied to exy is that his fam saw it as him putting the sport before family?

Obviously from there Jeremy would’ve blamed himself and his family would’ve blamed him and he would’ve spiraled and maybe became depressed/ his depression worsened, and that’s what cat meant by life changing therapy.

That’s my top theory atm.

BUT there is the concept of the title of the second book “the golden raven” which I’m 96% sure references Jean, but that other 4% makes me think about how after Jean said Jeremy wasn’t like the ravens, jeremy refuses to make eye contact and looks away. And Jean tells us , “the look wasn’t wounded, but no raven had ever looked so gutted”. So maybe I’m thinking too much into it, BUT—

Theory #2 (which I hope isn’t the case, because it’s too similar to Andrew for me) is that Jeremy was supposed to be a Raven. Then maybe whatever happened happened and Jeremy was forced to stay local? Idk how this one would work out, considering the way cat spelled it out was that Jeremy only hated his older brother, but maybe the brother was devastated that Jeremy got scouted and he didn’t so he took extreme measures? Idk . But this would be extremely exy related, and still very explicitly “Jeremy’s” fault, and why he’s so insistent that exy is “just a game”.

I’ve also seen ppl point out the cops. And tbh, at first I just wrote the them off as his step grandpa’s political influence, especially since Jeremy says there was “no reason the cops would recognize him, and little to no chance he knew them”, but I’d be willing to entertain that idea that he did something accidentally/in self defense that his missing brother took the fall for ? This of course would put heavy emphasis on the “him”, but with Nora it’s not unlikely.

So then theory #3 would be like Jeremy got in a fight or something and maybe hurt someone ? Maybe he got jumped (similar to Nicky, I know , but he is gay in 2007), and his brother got caught in the crossfire, and Jeremy blamed himself /his family blames Jeremy, and since it was an exy player that did it, also exy?

The receipts thing I don’t really see as a clue. I know a lot of ppl believe they’re tied to drugs but I don’t see how that adds up considering he’d still be missing the cash he gives to Laila and cat on the receipt? And I think honestly the hang up there is just that his mom married a rich guy and the money is his step dad’s and his step dad hates him.

Also I don’t think Jeremy is secretly violent and I certainly don’t think his backstory it’s anything like Renee, especially since he kinda blanches at everything Jean says and calls the way his Highschool team played/ confronting Bryson exhausting.

BUT, and this one’s a long shot, I have been wondering if Jeremy has two missing siblings. My literal only proof is that cat says “you’re bound to hit one or two once u pass four kids”. And she does say that Jeremy has three siblings, and Annalise says that the family split in half. But if the family truly split in half, it would be two siblings vs two siblings. And at the moment, it looks like Jeremy vs Bryson and Annalise.

Am I making sense?

And then with the repeating 5’s in this story, that would bring Jeremy’s total sibling count (including himself ) to 5. So the last theory is like maybe Bryson and Jeremy got into it and the another brother got in the middle and something went down ™️. Idk . I don’t know that we have enough clues to piece everything together, but this is where I’m at currently lol.

You’re prob regretting asking LMAO sorry!!!!!

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Wanna asked a bit of a angst request for Crewle daughter but they married to Silver and have his children but a tragedy struck leaving both them and Silver dead ( murder/accident/assassination from someone outside of the Disonima circle)

And both grandpa Lilia and Grandpa Crewel have custody battle on where the twins live permanently

Like how would they react to both deaths and also who wins on keeping the twins

( and if it's okay to add on how would Sebek and Malleus reacted on the news of Silver and his wife deaths leaving the twins orphans)

ouch

🖤🖤🖤🖤

 The Death of Two | Yandere Diasomnia x Crewel Daughter Reader

Both are distraught beyond words 

But Lilia bounces back quicker 

(on the outside)

He knows these things happen better than anyone

That doesn’t mean he’s not bringing the person responsible to their knees 

When their begging he gags and wraps them bringing them to Crewel 

who has buried himself in caring for the twins and work

“I know you aren’t particularly fond of me…but for our little remnants of the ones we loved more than life itself. Let’s lean on one another…yeah?”

“Yes. Lets.” 

They eagerly torture those responsible within an inch of their life before resuscitating them to torture them all over again

Their families aren’t exempt either

There is no custody battle because they bond over the pain

If only for the twins 

But Crewel secretly appreciates him more than he’ll ever admit

They decide to live together

“Yay! Off to travel the world! All the four of us! You ready kiddies?”

“No no, we cannot! They need a permanent place to grow up for stability.”

“Psshhh you’re so grumpy! Fine we’ll do a six month venture!”

“No. A week.”

“A month!”

“Ughhhh!”

If Crewel fights too hard Lilia will just do it in his sleep

No seriously when Crewel wakes up he’s halfway across the world

Lilia’s protective possessive nature hones in on Crewel and the Twins as they are all he has in relation to you and Silver

He knows any resurrection spells would come out badly 

He’s tried it before

But Crewel is susceptible to the idea so Lilia gets really guarded when Malleus starts voicing his ideas of turning time or resurrecting both you and Silver

“But we collectively could save (Y/n) and Silver! Don’t you want that!? Don’t you want your son back?!”

“....I do…”

“SO WE SHOULD BEGIN NOW–”

“But I won’t.”

“Why?” “WHAT?”

“Because that’s not what they would have wanted. They aren’t ghosts so they don’t feel that they need to be here. And if we try to bring them back now it will only curse us: the only people who are left to care for their children. Do you want that Malleus? To leave them alone while we reap the consequences of our actions?!”

“Never mind you! I will speak to Crewel who I am sure will be more than eager to–”

“Dont. Tell. Him. Anything. I’ll kill you if you do”

“...”

“I’m not losing anymore of the family I have left. So if you really want to do something work on protecting them from any other threat. Are we clear?”

“...”

“Malleus, Sebek.”

“YES WE ARE!” “...Yes.”

“Good. Now come join us we’re having dinner!”

“--Did you cook today?”

“Unfortunately, no. Crewel is apparently allergic to one of the spices I use often.”

[klausinamarink]

Hi Klaus! Ah, the birthday special is such a fun idea! If it's still available, I'll request:

You should have raised a baby girl, I should have been a better son

for Platonic Stobin

Happy early birthday! <3 Hope it's a wonderful year ahead -Jules

“Ok, I got another. If you were born a boy, would your parents still name you Robin?”

Robin snorted as she threw another almond in her mouth, “Oh, you should have seen their lists of names before I was born.” She shifted her seat on the couch and started counting off her fingers, “For their nonexistent son, there was Sebastian, Rocky, Thorn, Jay, Harry, Claude, Ethan, Todd, Luka-”

Steve already felt overwhelmed by the list. He almost interrupted but Robin was still going. 

“-Aloysius, Odysseus, and a couple more really obscure names. But the other ones they almost named me were Athena, Roberta, Viola or Violet, Crystal-”

Steve kicked at Robin’s shin, laughing, “You’re answering the wrong question!”

Robin kicked back before she too fell into laughter. Once she recovered, she wiped at her eyes and said, “Well, Robin wasn’t on the little boy’s list, so I guess that’s a no.”

“Oh god,” Steve moaned as he covered his face with his hands, “now that I know all of those other names, I’m afraid I can’t call you Robin anymore.”

An almond pecked him on the forehead. “Sure. Like you didn’t just already forgot all of them, dingus. Not that I’ll blame you.”

Steve peeked through his fingers, then took his hands off as he stretched up discreetly. “Yeah, you’re right. By the way, Viola, why didn’t you tell me your name was spelled Violet?”

Instead of taking his bait, Robin scowled at Steve and chomped on a few more almonds. Then she swiftly stole the pillow under his head so it bumped rather hard against the couch’s arm he was laying on. It didn’t hurt but he winced anyway.

“Robin!”

“I’m running out of ideas so I’m stealing your last question and making it my own. If you were a girl instead, what would your parents name you?

Steve answered immediately, “Stephanie.”

Robin blinked at him with surprise, “Wait, really?”

“I guess creativity is a Harrington weakness so,” he shrugged, “Steve for a boy or Stephanie for a girl.”

“Don’t tell me they did the same with your middle name.”

“Yep. Otis after my grandpa, Dorothy after my grandma.” He paused before adding, “They’re my dad’s parents. Not that my mom’s are bad, but I haven't seen them since I was, like, three.”

“Huh,” Robin said. Then they both fell into silence.

It didn’t take long for Steve’s thoughts to steer their way back to an old subject he hadn’t touched in ages.

The night after the fateful fight with Jonathan and the monster in his house, his parents had came home and his mother gasped at the state of his face. Steve had latched on the careful warmth she exhibited while she tended him in the bathroom. 

Steve had almost cried then. He had missed when his mother had dropped everything to take care of him whenever he was hurt. That was how she expressed the words ‘I love you’ to him without even saying it.

But his eyes had immediately went dry when his mother had looked at him and sighed like Steve was a stain on the kitchen napkins. 

Then she’d said, “If you were a proper lady instead, neither of us would be here.”

He had gone to bed, hollow and confused. Replayed her words over and over, thinking what did she mean?

And then it was like some floodgate was open. 

It didn’t matter if it was over the sparse phone calls or face to face, Shirley Harrington had found a new mission in making mournful quips towards her son of how much she had desired a daughter and how much better the never-born Stephanie would be.  

“More low grade this semester? A girl studies much harder than a classroom of boys anyway.”

“No more girlfriends? Oh, but a daughter of mine would keep a boyfriend for far longer than you had with that Nancy girl.”

“Why are you being more difficult these days, Steve? If you were a woman, you would know exactly how to keep quiet.”

And then came that fateful day when Steve had admitted to his dad that none of the prestigious colleges had accepted him. 

After his father’s fury continued to ring in Steve’s ears long after his departure, his mother had shook her head in tired disappointment and hovered to her reading room.

Steve had called out to her, trying to reach out and grab on the edges of her old warmth he desperately needed. He wanted to beg her for something. Anything simple like a hug.

But he’d asked her, “What if I was your daughter who got herself pregnant before graduation?”

It was such a ridiculous question. But Steve had been getting sick of his mother’s ‘what-if’ comments and wanted to retaliate anyways.

His mother had paused but answered so quickly as if she was waiting for the opportunity.

“Then I would marry her off to a bachelor and wish for a son instead.”

“But I am your son.”

“Your father wanted a son anyways.”

She had left him in the kitchen as if her words were a snide compliment at an art gallery. Like she hadn’t just dove her hands inside Steve’s hollow chest, found the remains of his heart, splattered the walls bloody-red with it so he would be surrounded by the proof of his mother’s love, and wiped her hands clean.

That was three months ago. But fuck, it felt like it had happened three hours ago. 

A poke on his knee brought Steve out of the churning void he was about to fall back into. Robin was looking at him with a furrowed expression that yelled ‘I am very worried about you right now, should we talk?’

“I’m okay,” Steve said automatically. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sat up.

“No, you’re not.” Robin said, mirroring him so they were now sitting side by side. She bumped her arm against his.

“No, I’m not.” Steve echoed wearily.

Robin dropped her head on his shoulder. A comforting weight. She didn’t ask anything which Steve found grateful. But he couldn’t bear to hide the new aching in his chest from her. It would make him a hypocrite after the Russian torture.

“I guess it’s kind of funny that my mom wanted a daughter but she still would be disappointed in me.”

Robin made a small sad noise in her throat but said nothing. Instead, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

“As much as I would fear the tyranny of Stephanie Harrington, I wouldn’t regret being her platonic soulmate.”

“With a capital P.” Steve finished automatically, a tiny smile forming on his face. 

“With a capital P.” Robin echoed with a warm smile.

They sat together like this for several minutes. Then, Steve turned to her and asked, “So would that mean you would get a crush on me for having boobies?”

The bowl of almonds immediately exploded in his face. Steve fell back to the couch, clutching his stomach as he howled with laughter and Robin yelled, “Way to ruin an emotional moment, Steve Dingus Harrington!”

[creepling]

🎓 for an education-themed headcanon for any of the family members, I’m super curious abt ur headcanons for whether any of them went to school / college or anything like that!! oooh and what type of clique they’d have been in if u wanna!’ <3

idk if this will be controversial to say, but my headcanon is that most of the family is illiterate. this mostly applies to the cook, bubba and nubbins. my thought process is that they have basic literary skills, but they were pulled out of school early to work in the slaughterhouse and bring more money into the home. they never went past high school and grandpa sure as hell wasn't encouraging learning in the house, just kill kill kill!! bubba had a hard time at school so he was pulled out earlier, since they gave up on him before giving him a chance due to their attitudes of disabilities at the time. hence why he is still non vocal.

johnny and sissy had a slightly better chance at education. nancy forbidded johnny attending dances/homecomings bc it "involved girls". sissy really hated school and did everything to avoid it, pretending she was heading off but spending the whole day wandering around a field. sissy, however, was the best performing out of all the members despite her horrible attendence. she got good grades in english from her neat handwriting and storytelling, but her grammar and spelling brought her down to an average grade. johnny never played in team sports, but his best subject was gym, and the coach tried to get him to join the track team. johnny never signed up because he thought stuff like that was for "try hards". i also headcanon johnny and sissy were dropouts and never graduated; to the rest of the town, they just fell from the face of the earth.

discregarding all that for a moment i wanna do cliques bc it's fun!!!

young!cook: teacher's pet. not a genius but he loves maths and desperately tried to emulate the popular kids and their 'polished' looks. spoke highly of teachers and students alike, but people thought he was a suck-up and a bit annoying.

nubbins: artsy kid. spends lunch time in the art classroom and makes sculptures. he's also a little bit of a drifter, he's had a hand at every group but gave up when he became a laughing stock to most of them. desperately wants to be a class clown but he just weirds people out.

young!nancy: overachiever/popular. done a lot of masking and covert narcissism so people could like her. wanted to be the smartest, prettiest, funniest, kindest person in the room. and it worked, but resulted in her only 'peaking' in high school.

bubba: the 'invisible' kid. eats lunch with the teachers, no one knows his name or talks to him. also the bully target until they discovered he had the strength of a bull, so they don't mess with him now. spends most of his time by himself, people watching.

sissy: mix of stoner/loner. not open to making friends and avoids socialising as much as possible because no one 'gets her'. considered an 'ugly duckling' in high school. hippie is obvious but i think this is something she grew into when she dropped-out and started hitchiking.

johnny: greaser/bully. a total slacker and hard-head. picks on the little man and speaks ill of the popular kids, everyone is his worst enemy. got attention from girls if they were into the 'bad boy', and he took advantage of it. always getting detention, failing his classes, counting the days when he can leave.

[adelarsims]

Hi XD

I actually do wanna learn more ab them! And I have a few specific questions if you don't mind!

How old are they really?

They seem a bit obsessed with looking young, is there a reason for that?

Why don't they use a wand if it helps keep their hands looking younger?

What changed them from a snob to a slightly more uhm personable person?

What do they teach?

Also here is your excuse to ramble about world building and magic cus I love this stuff

Another more vague one, you mentioned their childhood was rough, can you talk more ab that?

Finally because I feel like I'm overstaying my welcome, how did they discover they have feelings for Caleb?

1. let’s just say over a hundred. caleb once told cassie that 100+ years old feels better than 97 or something, because there's something romantic about being 'over a hundred', like straight out of a fairy tale, while 97 is just a really old grandpa :D

2. when they imagine looking in the mirror and seeing their hair grey and face wrinkled, they're terrified. it’s not a simple vanity - many spellcasters share this fear, when you don't see the constant flow of time when you look in the mirror, your image of yourself freezes like a fly in the amber - and going back into that flow gets more and more terrifying because it feels like suddenly the end nears faster. not all spellcasters choose to prolong their life, but those who do find it hard to stop. as for the youthful look... i think Morgyn just craves to feel at their peak, being the perfect image of themselves in everything. they were deprived of feeling worthy in their early years, so they keep proving and proving otherwise. especially after some discoveries about themselves that upended their understanding of who they are and thrown them into a deep identity crisis – they would grasp at all perfection that is still within their power to maintain. well... maybe it's also a bit of vanity, too.

3. it’s just more natural for them to cast with their hands and gives them access to much stronger magic. a wand doesn’t hold any magic itself, it’s like a laser pointer for magical energy, helps you focus and direct it. spellcasters need wands, innate mages don’t, though they of course can use them too. hand magic is raw, it’s more powerful but requires mastery and precision, and allows to weave spells that aren’t accessible to wand users, because wand is a single-channel magic focus, so to speak, and hand magic allows multi-channeling it (so basically, there's a limit that former humans who learned magic can do, and for innate mages this limit is very far, if existing at all)

4. oh no, don’t mistake a snob for an insufferable asshole. they were always personable. they’re likeable, cheeky, warm and affectionate to those they’re close with, especially those who appreciate and accept them, even though their position as a grand sage and academia headmaster naturally made them more reserved. and they’re still snobbish about magic, they know no one will do it better than them when it comes to spells, tend to nitpick mistakes in others' spellcasting, and get annoyed when someone is being lazy or unreasonably cocky with their magic. they just were hot-headed about people doubting their prowess as a student, but they have matured a lot and have good self control now.

5. mostly advanced elemental magic, and a few arcane disciplines i’ve yet to find names for. magic schools in my morgynverse are quite different from what they are in the game, for example, practical school isn’t about cleaning dishes. it covers healing, herbalism and potions, enchanting equipment, crafting amulets, like that. the new jewery creating pack will work so damn good for my story, i can’t wait!

6. i already gave bits and pieces here and there on this post. i can tell you a couple minor things if you want. there’s a plant that is used in potions, it’s called cyclop’s brain, it has huge leaves and massive seed pods, and tiny tiny seeds. also, every four years, on 29th of february, “the day that does not exist”, the academia holds a huge event called Masquerade of Mysteries, it’s grand and magical and everyone is allowed to go all out with enchantments and costumes, every student and teacher is looking forward to it.

7. i’m not sure how much i should say considering that i hope to start telling my story one day and it’s a spoiler, but let’s just say they weren’t really accepted for who they are and were considered dangerous even though they never gave anyone any reason to be afraid of their magic (it’s not simply about them being a mage, that wouldn’t be as much of a problem as their origin)

8. slowly. eventually. they were physically attracted to Caleb from the beginning, but it’s doing right by one another that truly brings people together. Caleb was there for Morgyn when they needed it most.

[dark-twist-fairytales]

(Maybe because Clayton was very insistent on getting into that hunters cabinet, but hey! This time it pays off because his daughter now has a weapon to defend herself. (Idk why but I hc that Claras family are all very good hunters, them having amassed their wealth like that. Emmys grandpa, Claras dad, probably taught her how to shoot when they visited))

The second Clayton notices shes injured he's fretting immediately, this might actually be the first time the others that arent Shep and Vic see his truer personality, not a stoic man but a concerned father.

Also, yeah, Emmy immitating her dads routines even if she gets nothing out of it is adorable.

Emmy would be tired from death house, being a child and all, so she falls asleep on the beds almost the second Clayton finishes dressing her knee ("No, Sarnax, your fire won't be...necessary).

He's conflicted about leaving her alone in the bedroom, since they did say they would speak with Ismark, but he doesnt want to move her in case she wakes up. He tells the others to go on without him as he takes several minutes to cast alarm and make sure that all the windows are locked.

After that he carefully closes the door, locking it so no one can reach his child. They go down and speak with Ismark, he examines the pastry and they do still indulge (later when the truth is revealed he's so grateful that Emmy fell asleep before they ate them)

They find out about Ireena and still do agree to help Ismark. Clayton only takes a sip of the alcohol but stops there "I don't believe its wise to indulge when I have a child I must care for."

The group goes to bed (Shep even more drunk since he drank the professors pints as well), he'd gently move some hair out of Emmys face before taking some spare pillows and making himself comfortable on the floor next to the bed. Now they have a goal, help Ismark and Ireena.

(That man can sleep sitting, standing or whichever way his body decides)

If I'm remembering from that episode, he casted alarm on the room with Victoria and Kana in the room while Shepherd and Sarnax went downstairs, having even more of a reason to do so now, before they joined them downstairs. And yeah, Emmy being asleep while him and Kana eat the dream pastries is a blessing in disguise.

It would be funny if Emmy woke up before them and dug around in the case for a better suited outfit than a bustling dress (she can make do, but she has the resources, she would rather not), and suddenly the cross bow has a place on her back, the bolts on her hip, and better protection than thin fabric.

It doesn't look fancy, like someone would expect from Breeg, but instead it looks rough, used, a small bit baggy. She knows how to hunt, she remembers what her grandfather has taught her. And if they wake up to her dad's case open and her cleaning the crossbow, making sure that it was up to par, they say nothing. And if Clayton only asks how her knee's feeling while tying her hair back to keep it from being tangled, it's just another morning in the Azran expedition.

(Mechanically, I think she would either dual-class as a ranger/wizard, or go full ranger (different than Shepherd) with some a magic feature of some kind.)

Shepherd is still a wildly better ranger than her (having been alive longer than her), but she can casts a good amount of damaging spells, if she ever runs out of bolts/needs to in a pinch.

Oh, I just realized, Sarnax would still be so confused about Clayton's father-like tendencies. Asking something like "Is it normal for.. Humans to fret over their young this much?" And Shepherd responding back with "Yeah, most humanoids in general fret over their children like that, 'specially after nearly dyin'. Clayton ain't no different. Hells, if anythin' were to happen to that child, I'll murder in cold blood."

[luciferapollyon]

"MK?" Asked a voice in the void. "That's what you call yourself, right?"

MK turned. Standing before him was Macaque, the monkey who the Lady Bone Demon had possessed. She'd probably been possessing him the entire time. Now, though, it was obvious that Macaque was alone with no lingering coldness or cruelty in his eyes or in the small sad smile he shot MK's way.

"Yeah. Yeah, I call myself MK. It started off short for Mystery Kid because that's what Pigsy and Mr. Tang used to call me before they settled on a name." MK said with a self-conscious chuckle. "Of course, it doesn't really stand for that anymore."

"I see."

"Sometimes I wish I could remember what my parents must have named me. I mean, I must have parents, right?" MK said before sighing. "Not that it matters, since they must not have wanted me."

"I did." Macaque said quietly causing MK to look up at him in shock. "I did want you. You are a stone monkey like myself and Wukong and Yuan and Mahou before us. I made you because I wanted you. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry I let my anger and hatred for Wukong get the better of me. I didn't intend to leave you alone like I had been."

"I..." MK paused, took a breath and shifted closer to the dark furred monkey. "If I'm a stone monkey then why don't I look like you or Monkey King?"

"You're glamored pretty thickly. Come here." Macaque said shuffling closer to MK and reach out to him. MK closed the gap letting Macaque touch his face and run his hands through his hair before Macaque gently cupped his ears and what looked like a bubble of golden light increased and then popped off of MK's skin leaving him with fur; three tails and six softly glowing petal-like ears, like Macaque's own.

"There's my Xiaoge." Macaque said quietly. "My little song. I'm so sorry, kiddo. I wish I had more time."

"More time?"

"Yeah. When you destroyed the Lady Bone Demon, she was still possessing my physical form. You sent her soul straight through to destruction, but in the process..."

"I killed you!" MK exclaimed, his face falling and a sob came from his throat.

"Sh...sh." Macaque whispered as he drew the young man into his arms and held him tightly. "None of that, ok. I wanted to tell you that it's going to be okay. I'm so happy that you grew up and made friends and I am so proud of you. I loved you when all you were was a stone egg I'd sing to late at night. I love you now. I left the spell that dampens your hearing down to normal people levels in place, but you should have...you should have your Grandpa Wukong teach it to you, I know he knows it. I heard him learn it. You'll be ok. Just listen with your top set of ears before you listen to Wukong about anything. And..." Macaque held MK out from him to look at him one last time as his form began to waver. "Could you tell Pigsy and Tang that I'm grateful they were there for you when I couldn't be."

"I can tell them that, yeah." MK sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I killed you."

"I let you. She was trying to escape, and she would have made sure I didn't survive her leaving my body. She would have ripped my soul apart." Macaque said quietly. "Her form was never physical, and the only way to kill her normally would have taken the holiest of people with the holiest of weapons. I held her in my body and let you finish us both. It was the only way. I'm sorry, but we don't have any more time. I love you, my son."

With that Macaque vanished into the void.

*

So, AU idea where each Celestial Primate parents the one right after it. So, the Gibbon was a father to the Horse Monkey and the Horse Monkey was supposed to mother Wukong, but she died suddenly before Wukong was made. Wukong was away when Macaque was born and Macaque was all alone for the whole of his life because of this.