#why did I spend so long writing this

[inkstainsyourhips]

contains: rape, overstim, bondage, scent kink, alchemical experimentation

It shouldn't be you.

Your father, by any account, is the most important human within a hundred miles. So, even as the streets became more and more frequented by those hulking green-skinned beasts, you ought to have been safe. Off-limits.

Why, then, are you strapped to a table, arms by your sides, legs parted and held in place by thick leather belts?

Your father is an important man. But even the most important man is not an orc. And as it happens, the orc who you saw walking down the high street, arms laden with books, from your seat on the veranda of a city salon, and turned to your companion and murmured "I doubt the beast can even read the covers of all those..." That was the orcish Governor's new alchemist.

The Governor did not take the insult lightly.

He might have taken your family's holdings, his lands and business, for your slight. Instead your own father suggested another trade. The alchemist, you see, is always in need of subjects. In one sense, you commanded quite a high price. That could have been a comfort. Of course, the alchemist also insisted on paying in coin, and in that sense you fetched half the gold of a milk cow.

And so though that morning you had woken in a fine four-poster bed under sheets of silk, night falls on you trapped in a cramped workshop, your legs spread as the orc alchemist peered between your thighs and inspected their purchase. Stroking, spreading, stimulating, penetrating - hands gloved all the while, as though your body was precious and infectious.

If they were smug and sneering, it might be bearable. Or cruel and mocking, or even lascivious. Anything you could mount resistance to. But they offer none of that. Only cool, undisturbed silence as they examine you. The same silence as the examination goes on, and you break yours.

It isn't your choice. Of course it isn't. It's your body's reaction - you feel no ownership over it. And the panting moans that grow louder and louder, you don't own those either - or the trembling that shakes down through your hips and legs, rattling the fixtures that keep those leather belts strapped tight.

You don't own the orgasm that they pull out of you, calmly and efficiently stimulating until the pleasure wells up and spills over, electricity running through your gut, your hips arching. They keep their fingers on you, teasing, tugging, forcing the pleasure into you until it hurts--

Then they straighten up. In their hands, you see a glass vessel, half-filled. Half-filled by you, you realize.

They strip their gloves off. Toss them into a basin. Pull on another pair. Pick up the vessel, and return to you.

You think you can't cum again, and you learn you're wrong. Your body responds at first, eagerly welcoming that skilled touch. And then, when you've cum several times more, you start to ache, skin raw, nerves pleading for rest. You're pleading, too, babbling, your mouth running, but what hope is there for mercy?

The alchemist retreats.

Your breathing still stutters, your heart rushing to slow down. You mumble thanks, gratitude for mercy unexpected.

You're wrong, of course.

The alchemist returns with a pot in their hand. They stick their fingers in and emerge with a thick gel coating them, and reach between your legs once more. Try as you might, you can't get free; you have no defense as they slather it onto you. It's cool, but only mildly relieving. You can't imagine their hands on you again, not without going insane.

The tub disappears. And now they approach the other end of the table -- your head. Flask in hand.

You jerk away, of course. But you can only move so far, your arms and legs belted down. They catch your jaw in one gloved hand, and your nose fills with the smell of your own sex. Then your taste invades your mouth as two of their fingers force your jaw open. Exhausted by these hours of forced pleasure, you can't even try to spit as they pour the contents of the flask down your throat.

It starts as a heat in your stomach, searing, overpowering. And just as suddenly it spreads, and mellows, and saturates, and roars back into being from your head to your feet and every delicious inch between - need, pure agonizing need, and now you open your mouth to plead again, for their hands on you, on your face, your chest, between your legs, anywhere, anywhere!

And they oblige. They touch you, and you scream, because the electric pleasure tearing through you has no other vent; it needs to emerge, and you let it, bucking and thrashing and writhing and cumming and cumming and cumming.

Time abandons you. Some of it has passed when you begin to come down. The orc is no longer between your legs. Their back turned to you, they stand at a workbench, hunched over an alembic. A liquid is dripping into a flask, slowly and evenly. It smells... familiar.

"You used to be kept as slaves," the alchemist says. Their voice is not as you imagined. They reach behind themselves, and you see their ungloved hands undo the strings of their leather apron. "Not for your labor, or for warfare. You are quite evidently unsuited for both. You were kept for pleasure--" They lift the apron off and drop it. Beneath it, their torso is bare. "--and for... stock."

They turn. Sweat slicks their body. Dark hair surges over their chest and coils in their armpits. A trail of it, you cannot stop from noticing, runs down under their trousers.

"You see, you do have some use to us in warfare. Your... extractions. They have a certain... effect." They turn to the table and slide a flask away from the alembic, lift it - with a wink - as if toasting, and drain the contents in one gulp.

"Our warlords used to enjoy their slaves before battle. Hours and hours, fucking - rutting, soaked in sweat and cum. And how they fought, after those nights!"

They set the flask down, delicately. And are you imagining it, or do they loom over you a little more?

"Superstition, you must think. But I disagree. I have isolated it, the essence your bodies produce that reacts so powerfully with ours. And it can be extracted, refined, purified... strengthened."

And now their hands reach for the laces of their trousers - not a moment too soon, as you watch them grow in a heartbeat. Muscles jump under their skin, cast in shadowy silhouette into carved perfection. Their trousers drop, and you see them slick and swollen with arousal. As if it is a threat. As if it is a promise.

"There is a problem. The solution... takes something." They breath, raspy and raw. Their tusks protrude, two curved swords bursting from their jaw. Their eyes gleam in the candlelight. "Thought... struggles. Intellect, subsumed by... need."

They step closer, and you smell their musk, their sweat, their arousal.

"You called me... a beast?"

A hand closes over your neck.

"Let us test your hypothesis."

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

heeyyy gaaanggg

the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

[shera-dnd]

Alright I have eaten my mato peach and have gained the amazing power to do literary and thematic analysis of any piece of media, no matter how fucking stupid

and as the first activation of my ability, I'm turning it towards the stupid ecchi reverse slave harem manga, Mato Seihei no Slave (or Chained Soldier if you're not as much of a fucking weeb as I am) in order to prove that this is actually thematically consistent and surprisingly well written

(long pause as I let all my followers block me and leave)

but first to address the two shuuki in the room

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE BEEN READING AN ECCHI SLAVE HAREM MANGA YOU FUCKING WEIRDO?

Look... LOOK! It's not what you think!

Okay so like a lot of anime and manga recently (primarily isekai) have been including slavery as a thing in their world building, and tho I'm not gonna claim that's the only thing it ever gets used for, it's quite clear that a lot of people are only using that as an excuse for kinky slave play BDSM

and then forget that that stuff comes with like... you know, the horrific implications of slavery as an institution

WELL GOOD NEWS! The author of this manga does not give a shit about disguising his femdom slave play kink as commentary on slavery, this is literally just a BDSM thing and it never pretends to be anything else

...besides, a woman has needs, okay?

WAIT SHOULDN'T THIS MANGA TRIGGER YOU? ISN'T YOUR TRIGGER THE LITERAL CENTRAL GIMMICK OF THIS?

YOU WOULD BE CORRECT! By all logical means I should not be able to read this manga without having the most viscerally negative response possible... except that I don't

I'm not gonna pretend that I know why or how this is working

But I read Monster Musume back in 2015 and it somehow helped me get over my fear of spiders, SO WHO KNOWS maybe niche ecchi manga are how I get over my mental blocks

I would rather it wasn't, but I'm having a hard time proving otherwise!

oh god we're already 400 words in and I have only just finished the preamble. Why am I like this?

Okay okay let us get started as I'll give a detailed explanation as to why Mato Seihei no Slave is about the bonds between people, the ways we bring out the best in each other, and what makes a good dom- ahem I mean leader... what makes a good leader

So for those who don't know the central conceit of this story is that this is a world where women get super powers and men get... to be stay at home husbands

Our protagonist is male wife supreme, Yuuki Wakura, whose main hobbies include cooking, cleaning, and day dreaming about one day becoming a hero

unfortunately for our adorable little boy toy he immediately finds himself falling through a portal into actual literal hell (technically it's called Mato, but like it's just hell) where he's promptly attacked by several giant monsters

BUT GOOD NEWS FOR HIM! He's being saved by a hyper competent hot woman in a uniform (lesbians going "it should have been me!" count should be at 1 by now)

BAD NEWS FOR HIM! She's alone and soon they both get overwhelmed because she can't go full apeshit murder mode while protecting his soft boy ass

Thankfully there is a way for her to save him still, it just requires some collaboration from him

("it should have been me!" count: 2)

And here we are at the main fucking gimmick. The reason why all the ecchi shit happens, the silly excuse for why this bad bitch decides to keep this guy at her side

Chains of Eternity: Slave

Kyouka Uzen (the ultimate girl boss) can forge a contract with someone to bind them to her will as her slave. This will bring out their hidden potential and allow them to fight by her side, turning them into a super powerful killing machine at her command.

In exchange once the task is done she must give a reward to her slave based on the difficulty of the task and the slave's "latent desires"

So yeah, Kyouka doesn't get to decide what the reward is, Yuuki doesn't get to decide what the reward is, only Kyouka's magic can decide what the reward is. Which basically just means the author gets to insert whatever horny fuckery they want into this

Rewards vary from giving him head pats, offering him treats, giving him a back massage, kissing him, to...

well this is a femdom series for a reason

(I think the "it should have been me!" count is at like a 4 or a 5 now)

and now I'm gonna analyze the ever loving shit out of that ability and how it is the crux to all the themes of the show and actually informs us on the nature of Kyouka's character

no, I'm not kidding

Okay so let me just break down what Slave does here from a kink point of view. It basically allows Kyouka and Yuuki to enter into a BDSM relationship where the dom always knows what the sub wants, while still being able to surprise the sub with her actions. She gets to constantly keep her sub beneath her, while also being magically required to reward him and give him aftercare once she's done

Those two have entered a ridiculously healthy BDSM relationship by forging a magical contract that lets them skip all the negotiation bits and go right to what the audience wants to see

(yeah it's gonna be impossible to track the "it should have been me!"s from this point on, so just try to keep your own count at home)

This is also the author's way of like having his cake and fucking it too

Because that way we can have Kyouka as the baddest bitch to ever live AND have her do embarrassing stuff with Yuuki without ever breaking character. In fact the loftier her goals and the more tragic her backstory the more reason she has to accept the reward mechanism as the price to pay for this power

It's also why Kyouka is easily the most developed and interesting character of the manga, to the point that Yuuki is more a supporting character to her arc

This brings us back to those three themes I mentioned waaaaay at the start

Starting with: "how we bring out the best in each other"

For starters it's quite obvious how that works with Yuuki. He wants to be a hero in a world where he should not be able to have super powers, and in comes Kyouka who gives him both the power and the purpose to achieve that goal

But this also extends to literally everyone in Unit Seven and beyond

We have seen the ways in which Kyouka has helped all of her team mates grow stronger and overcome their past traumas, some times by the sheer confidence and kindness of her presence

Hell we see one of her team mates unlock a rage mode power up because someone said Kyouka was a bad leader

and there's even another team leader who straight up evolved her powers into a new stronger form just out of sheer love and respect for Kyouka

This culminates in the development of Lending. The ability to let others take Yuuki's chain and use him in combat

and like I'm not stupid, I'm not gonna pretend this isn't primarily an excuse to have different hot women give Yuuki rewards in ever hornier scenarios, with the added benefit of being able to design cooler monster forms for him

and I mean... those are some really cool monster forms

But that's besides the point

The point is that this also pulls double duty by allowing Kyouka and Yuuki to constantly empower all of the people around them and help them through their character arcs

From helping people stand up to abusive family members, to allowing others to gain the confidence they need to grow, to just decking an asshole real hard in the face

And not once does Yuuki steal other's glory. The final confrontation and the catharsis is always delivered by the person who is being helped. Because lover boy here is the supporting character in his own story

This all leads neatly into another point: the bonds we have with others

DAMN RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS WE'RE GETTING CHAIN SYMBOLISM IN THIS BITCH!

Oh are we getting a message about how we're all links in the chain and the stronger each of us gets the stronger we all get? FUCK YEAH

Are we getting chains as a representation of a mutual bond of trust and respect, and get to see those bonds be used as a literal weapon to defeat a foe who is antithetical to that idea? ABSOLUTELY

TEAM WORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK, BABY!

But wait there's more! We got a character who can copy other people's skills and she also grows like crazy with each person she bonds with

We got teams of heroes besting villains who refuse to work with anyone

THAT'S THE SHONEN ANIME GOODNESS WE'RE HERE FOR!

(I mean this is technically seinen but who gives a shit, right?)

And that brings us finally to the third point, the series antagonists, and Kyouka's main goal

What makes a good leader?

So far we've focused on Kyouka and her ability, Slave, and how that allows her to help the people around her grow and encourages her to fight on the front line where she can be a shining example for all around her to follow

She treats everyone around her with trust and respect, even the boy who is literally her slave, and is by all metrics BEST GIRL!

Now all of that good shit doesn't mean much if we don't have anything to contrast and compare to

Enter Ren Yamashiro

gonna give y'all a second to simp for a bit before I continue

done staring at her legs? good. Anyways here's why she's awful!

Ren is the commander of the Anti-Demon Corps and easily the strongest character in the setting by a wide margin

She's also self centered, corrupt, physically AND emotionally abusive, horrifically petty, and likes dogs in the exact same way Makima from Chainsaw Man likes dogs

This is, of course, perfectly translated into her special ability, because this author loves having abilities inform characters

So not only does she have some absurd broken power that she has the power of anime and buddha on her side, BUT the way it manifests is as kanji covering her eyes whenever she activates her skills

Quite literally making so all she can see is her own power and greatness

AND her main use of her powers is to fly around, so she can be ABOVE everyone else

This isn't fucking subtle, but it sure as fuck gets the point across

This is a trait that Ren shares with ALL the main villains of the series. Each and everyone of them is blinded by their own greatness and is constantly looking down on others

Ren is just the least subtle. I guess they had to compensate for the fact that she isn't an actual literal evil god

And so all of those are put in opposition to Kyouka, whose goal is to overthrow Ren, become the new commander, and destroy Mato for good

The woman whose power makes her dependent on others, but that allows her to bring out the best in everyone she meets

A power that grows stronger the more people she helps and the more people help her in return

Standing up against all these people who refuse to rely on anything besides their own strength

That is why Kyouka is the shining example of a good leader!

Now here we are 2k words into this (OH DEAR GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS), so what was the point of this journey?

Is it me recommending this manga to people and claiming it's genuinely "peak fiction"? OH GOD NO

This thing has so many issues and literally all of them stem from the fact that this is an ecchi harem manga story first and foremost.

Titillation always comes first over anything else, several of the smaller side characters eventually devolve into just different flavors of wanting to dom Yuuki, and that's not even going into all the pet play stuff featuring Ren

This is an unashamedly horny manga with a very specific brand of kink in mind and when I started reading it that was legit all I wanted out of it

But then it refused to be JUST that. It had an interesting story, fun action scenes, compelling characters, and a surprising amount of thought put into its themes

It's not a manga I'd recommend to most people at all, and it requires a considerable amount of tolerance for some capital H Horny anime bullshit

But honestly? If you're cool with that and want a fun and a little unhinged story you can do way worse than this

So what else is left to say except

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!!

[2129888]

i don't remember how i stumbled across this interview but i've never seen anyone mention it so i'm dropping it here <3 it's a little dated but still like super valuable and a decently in depth look at higuchi-sensei's previous works and how she works and thinks as a mangaka... personally i think it's the most i've ever learned from an interview of hers. super interesting stuff :0)

[spinecurlingmice]

for gort about mmy fic im losing my mind a ltitle

[seventh-district]

Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.

This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.

[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]

For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.

Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.

Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]

Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!

Sam's Part

I was a ten-year train wreck

Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.

In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."

I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.

It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.

With a last-call longneck

Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.

I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad

This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.

I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)

Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back

This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.

If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.

Not your fault, I was scared to fall

This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.

Darlin's Part

You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back

We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.

"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"

Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."

Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"

"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.

"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.

"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.

Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."

They scoff. "I am being serious."

Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."

"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."

He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."

He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"

Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"

He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."

They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."

In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

They think about dead stars.

They think about time.

"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"

They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.

They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.

"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."

.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.

Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers

'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)

[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]

Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined

Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.

The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.

Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to

These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.

I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.

"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."

Equally Applicable Lines

And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break

Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.

(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.

But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)

-------

[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]

[elboxitracio]

Now why would my dad, this cishet construction worker pushing 60 who spend his life watching only action movies and the occasional comedy movie, suddenly got VERY into mostly romantic K-dramas ??

[krenenbaker]

A Sonnet for a Hunter

I see, at distance, across the courtyard, A tiny flourish as you slip around The corner - I try not to stare too hard, For I know you will sense it like a hound.

That billowing plum sleeve and feathered hat, Your voice, ever melodious and bright Has like an arrow pierced my heart, and that My dear, has made me feel constantly light.

I never used to really notice you, Despite your radiance, you stayed hidden. I don't know when my thoughts changed, or why, too, But you nestled in my mind, unbidden.

Though a life chasing beauty you have led, You seem to have hunted my heart instead.

@dove-da-birb (since you said you'd like to be tagged in any writing I posted... well, here is, uh.. not a fic, but it's something!)

[dailyfigures]

What do you think of figurama figures?? I know they’re supposed to be cool and big but I think they aren’t painted very well—a lot of them (the lupin iii one specifically) look kind of dirty? And not in a good way. Have you posted any before?

you mean this one? no i haven't posted any, resin/polystone statue companies usually put a lot of logos on their promo pics which is fair but doesn't look great as a figure post imo.

i get that! i'm generally not a resin/polystone statue person at all so i don't really look at them and i honestly don't love the "look" that most statues have (unsure what it is, they just look different from pvc figs). i do definitely understand their appeal, it's just not for me!

[chaos-le-mieux]

Error Flowey: Profile 1

Well, considering he's somewhat part of the Error Chara's story, I figured I'd shed some info on him. And since his role in the main story is somewhat minor, I'll be giving more information on what he can do, since there's a good chance I'll never need to use any of it. Just for reference sake, if anyone is curious. Back Story: He comes from a Classic Universe, one of the Undertale Game worlds. As Omega Flowey, the Player in control of Frisk was never able to free the six souls, and they gave up. And Never Came Back! But Nobody Came... (This actually happened to one of my IRL friends a few years ago). Being stuck in a sub void of nothingness, in a game where he cannot interact with anything, he got desperate. Since he was able to create a dimension with a dummy save file and save states, he figured he could modify and edit values of his world. After six months of solitude, of messing around with the games code, he began to mess with his own. And after some trial and error Error ErRoR ERROR... his world... was no more. Emerging in the void, all his memories in tact and a new colour pallet, he would wonder. Looking for anything to hold his interest, to perhaps give purpose to his uncaring existence. Appearance: He has near Black skin, rich Blue petals, Purple stem and leaves, and White floaty "Error" messages that hovers around him. His eye sockets are White and Hollow, unless he closes them around his pupils. His pupils are Magenta, though he can hide them making his eyes look Hollow and White. Stats: ATK: 66? DEF: 6? LV: 20     EXP: 99999Error Attack strength is high due to two factors, High LV and being an "Error" (what ever that means) Defense is still technically high compared to regular monsters, but not ground breaking. Though, with strong attack stat, and high HP pool, plus glitchiness, I don't think it matters to much. Level of Violence is 20, a.k.a. Max due to not caring. He's incredibly distant from anyone and everyone (almost) that he can easily bring himself to harm others. Execution Points are overclocked because of all the AU's he's destroyed on a whim. Special Abilities: Substrate Burrow: Can burrow into any surface (unless a coder, hacker, or creator puts barriers in place), including the void floor. This is how he's able to get information across the void. He's able to spy on any target and stay out of sight. And he's a curious one, remember, he's read every book, he's burned every book. Plant Tendrils: These operate similar to the coding strings of other Errors, but are vines instead Friendliness Pellets: They're bullets, let's not kid ourselves Transformations: Depending on how many Human Souls, or Monster Souls Equivalents, will determine what level he can transform into. Soul Level: 0: Error Flowey 1: Error Asriel (Young - similar to how he looked in flashbacks) 2: Error Asriel (Pre Teen) 3: Error Asriel (Teen) 4: Error Asriel (Young Adult Similar to how he looked during phase 1 of the final battle) 5: Error Asriel (Adult) 6: Error Omega Flowey 7: Error of HyperDeath As Error Asriel he will also don a Golden Heart Locket. He also hates being in his Asriel forms, while much stronger, his compassion and emotions eventually start flooding back in. And lets just say he has a lot of baggage he wishes not to have emotions for. Error Flowey's Goal!? Aside from battling boredom, he does have a personal goal, that's more or less a curse on him. Whenever he see's a Chara that reminds him of his own, he feels obligated to help them achieve their goal. The reason for this is in his mind he has failed his Chara three times. First time is the buttercup incident. Second time is letting them both die at the hands of Humans. Third time is destroying his home world, making His Chara's sacrifices all in vain, as monsters can never be set free in a destroy and erased world Relationships: 6 Human Souls: In his travels though the void he encountered 6 souls that reside within his inventory. Bravery, Justice, Kindness, Patients, Integrity, Perseverance. These souls all come from corrupted worlds where they felt cheated and wanted a second chance to set things right. They act as a council of sorts. Guiding Flowey to help him make informed decisions as to not just destroy everything he sees as an inconvenience. Though most of the time they just sleep. Error Chara: Even though he knows this Chara is not His Chara, he still feels something familiar about them. To the point where he can track them down no matter where they are. He knows their plan involves uniting Sans's and Chara's across the multiverse, and despite also thinking the plan is stupid and destined to fail, he will provide as much information as they need. He will also try to keep distractions away from Error Chara so they can stay focused on their goal. Enjoy~

[journey-to-the-attic]

So have you heard of that Obey Me: Nightbringer thing?? I saw it on their Twitter and I have no idea what it is but I don't interact with enough people in the fandom to ask

oh yeah, i saw that too! unfortunately i also have no idea what it is, so i can't help you here ^^;

i think i saw someone under it saying it's a prequel game of some sort? but idk if they actually knew or if it's speculation, so keep that in mind

[monsterfactoryfanfic]

if I've learned anything from grad school it's to check your sources, and this has proven invaluable in the dozens of instances when I've had an MBA-type try to tell me something about finances or leadership. Case in point:

Firefox serves me clickbaity articles through Pocket, which is fine because I like Firefox. But sometimes an article makes me curious. I'm pretty anal about my finances, and I wondered if this article was, as I suspected, total horseshit, or could potentially benefit me and help me get my spending under control. So let's check the article in question.

It mostly seems like common sense. "...track expenses and income for at least a month before setting a budget...How much money do I have or earn? How much do I want to save?" Basic shit like that. But then I get to this section:

This sounds fucking made up to me. And thankfully, they've provided a source to their claim that "research has repeatedly shown" that writing things down changes behavior. First mistake. What research is this?

Forbes, naturally, my #1 source for absolute dogshit fart-sniffing financial schlock. Forbes is the type of website that guy from high school who constantly posts on linkedin trawls daily for little articles like this that make him feel better about refusing to pay for a decent package for his employees' healthcare (I'm from the United States, a barbaric, conflict-ridden country in the throes of civil unrest, so obsessed with violence that its warlords prioritize weapons over universal medical coverage. I digress). Forbes constantly posts shit like this, and I constantly spend my time at leadership seminars debunking poor consultants who get paid to read these claims credulously. Look at this highlighted text. Does it make sense to you that simply writing your financial goals down would result in a 10x increase in your income? Because if it does, let me make you an offer on this sick ass bridge.

Thankfully, Forbes also makes the mistake of citing their sources. Let's check to see where this hyperlink goes:

SidSavara. I've never heard of this site, but the About section tells me that Sid is "a technology leader who empowers teams to grow into their best selves. He is a life-long learner enjoys developing software, leading teams in delivering mission critical projects, playing guitar and watching football and basketball."

That doesn't mean anything. What are his LinkedIn credentials? With the caveat that anyone can lie on Linkedin, Mr. Savara appears to be a Software Engineer. Which is fine! I'm glad software engineers exist! But Sid's got nothing in his professional history which suggests he knows shit about finance. So I'm already pretty skeptical of his website, which is increasingly looking like a personal fart-huffing blog.

The article itself repeats the credulous claim made in the Forbes story earlier, but this time, provides no link for the 3% story. Mr. Savara is smarter than his colleages at Forbes, it's much wiser to just make shit up.

HOWEVER. I am not the first person to have followed this rabbit hole. Because at the very top of this article, there is a disclaimer.

Uh oh!

Sid's been called out before, and in the follow up to this article, he reveals the truth.

You can guess where this is going.

So to go back to the VERY beginning of this post, both Pocket/Good Housekeeping and Forbes failed to do even the most basic of research, taking the wild claim that writing down your budget may increase your income by 10x on good faith and the word of a(n admittedly honest about his shortcomings) software engineer.

Why did I spend 30 minutes to make a tumblr post about this? Mostly to show off how smart I am, but also to remind folks of just how flimsy any claim on the internet can be. Click those links, follow those sources, and when the sources stop linking, ask why.

[mbat]

i experienced such a deep body neutrality last night that was more of a feeling than it was of something that could be put into words but i want to try

cause the main words i can think of are... its just a body. a body is just a body, more than it is anything else. and it doesnt matter what other people think of it because its your body, not theirs

fat is just fat, skinny is just skinny. sure, there are ways your body can be unhealthy, and sure there are ways your body can be permanently changed in ways you dont like, but... its still just a body. we put all these words on it but theyre just descriptors, yet we let them define it so much we get lost in it. ive spent my whole life getting caught in the web of 'my body is fat and therefore people think im disgusting' but... thats so mean to something thats doing its best with what it has. and being fat isnt disgusting anyway. and if other people think im disgusting, they can just go find someone else to bother.

and i guess this all comes back, in a way, to something someone on reddit told me years ago that i wish i could find again... 'its just another way of being'. i havent thought about it in a while but it was honestly one of the best things anyones ever said to me. being fat is just another way of being. being queer, being straight, being white or black or brown or anything else, its just another way of being. so many thoughts, feelings, connotations, history, you name it... it tries to change the fact that these things are just another way for people to be. at the end of the day, is it really ever more than that? just another way to be.

[once-vel]

i think i have yet to make a post on the timelines where zakri goes through the dull and gets fucked up big time. here are some rambles about that. these are not canon of course but they are very fun to think about

under the cut because it's, as usual, long

so this is based on a bit of lore that i haven't talked much about here either, that being what if velzie's tampering had permanent consequences? and the gist of those consequences is every time it changes something, a few of the threads binding zakri to a stable existence are cut.

normally, this isn't a huge deal. velzie tweaks things all the time and nothing happens, right? yeah problem is this is zakri we're talking about. y'know. guy whos entire existence was carefully planned in every way. the threads also do not repair with a new timeline so uhh, yeahhh. after like, a hundred or two timelines, things started to get a little less than stable. this does have consequences, but i'm not going to get into most of them here

now. something else that cuts some of those threads (notably more actually) would be travelling through the dull. now, again, usually this isn't a huge deal. but this is zakri and around when the main timeline happens, he doesn't exactly have many of those threads left at all. so uh. things are getting pretty bad

a minor change ive made to his timeline to play into this more is after enough time at the embassy, since his performance at his actual job is really not great, he's kind of just told to do... whatever random jobs are needed. this involves a good bit of returning to obeski. and thus, more going through the dull.

so... he's at the point where each run through the dull, things get worse. noticeably. and something i think is fun to think about is what'd happen if too many of those threads were cut? this isn't quite canon ofc. but it's fun. so this currently goes one of two* ways (i picture these happening on a trip back to obeski, rather than earth)

(*well, three if we include a certain other timeline/au, but i'm not getting into that one here, hehe. what is it they say... "if you know, you know"?)

so the two ways i think of this going are either 1. he returns from the dull, or 2. he doesn't. in the second, which i'm talking about first because it's shorter, he just... perma-dies in there. his vessel comes back but he's either found dead or is completely missing. i think what happens to him is he ends up in a strange state of being everywhere at once, not being able to interact with anything, and being barely conscious at all most of the time. legends about him emerge over time - some claim to hear his voice as they pass through the dull

in the first, he comes back alive but oh god something isn't right. something is so very not right and he's quickly getting worse. i'm not sure what the specifics of this are yet but it's sort of like... he's slipping through the cracks. he's there but not. he hurts to look at, to be around. he's become an entity which really does not want to exist, but has yet to escape existence. it's a very nasty transition phase, essentially. during this hes also mentally going through... something? hm

they quarantine him while they try to figure out what happened, which they never do. and he gets worse and worse til he's just... gone. maybe what was left of his body was found sludged. i figure he's still out there, experiencing some wildly different state of existence than what obesk are supposed to experience. roughly the same thing i described a couple paragraphs back, though different because much of himself has been lost during that little transition phase, and he will only lose more as time goes on. whatever he is here, it isn't zakri anymore.

shrug. just some rambles. again, not canon, but very fun to think about. at least he gets to be out of velzie's reach here..?

[nondelphic]

you know you’re a writer when…

you spend 30 minutes choosing the perfect synonym for “said” only to change it back to “said.”

you google “how long does it take to bleed out” at 3 a.m. and now the FBI is probably watching you.

you write one sentence, stare at it, rewrite it 14 times, and somehow end up back at the original version.

“this scene is so important” but you have no idea what the scene actually is or why it’s important.

you come up with the best story ideas… in the shower… with no way to write them down.

your characters feel like real people but also you’re like “who are these guys and what do they want from me?”

your brain says “start writing!” but instead you reorganize your desk, reread your notes, and spend two hours naming a side character who shows up once.

you’ve cried over your WIP exactly 67 times and will do it again because the pain is the point.

you reread something you wrote and think, “wow, did i peak as a writer three months ago?”

every writing session begins with the sacred ritual of scrolling social media, opening unnecessary tabs, and procrastinating until panic sets in.

you have no idea how long a chapter should be, so you just… vibe.

you can’t watch tv or movies without mentally critiquing the plot, dialogue, and pacing.

your writing playlist is 98% vibes, 2% songs you’ll actually listen to while writing.

you keep a “murder notebook” but swear it’s not suspicious because it’s for your novel (probably).

the phrase “just one more draft” is your eternal mantra, even though you’ve rewritten this thing more times than you can count.