#why did I ever stop playing
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poorly-drawn-mdzs Ā· 1 year ago
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Let the revenge games begin.
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starbuck Ā· 1 month ago
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ā€œNo, I donā€™t want newsā€¦ Thereā€™s no news about this song.ā€
ā€” John Darnielle while attempting to google the lyrics to ā€œStoreā€ on an audience memberā€™s phone
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roychewtoy Ā· 1 year ago
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sisterdivinium Ā· 1 year ago
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You know, for a show with so many female characters that so many of us love given how they all get time in the spotlight one way or another and they fill that time up rather wonderfully since they are deeper and more developed than what we're used to seeing in general media, it is peculiar (to say the least) to see so few "alternative" ships to the main one.
I'm not saying the canon ship doesn't deserve its attention -- I'm wondering instead why the canon ship and it alone seem to guide the WN fans who just so happen to enjoy writing/reading fic or fanart or whatever.
You'd think all these cool women would inspire more ships or combinations thereof, but those of us who aren't invested in avatrice just... Float along, around one another, ignored (and, yes, mostly undisturbed too; being unpopular does have its advantages and that includes a lot less weirdos leaving you strange or awkward messages -- it does not, however, shield us from people flooding our goddamn tags on AO3 with fic that has nothing to do with our little ships and I do wish such negligence of the pairing itself meant we didn't have to deal with this spam...)
I am also not saying that fandom activity should be based solely on shipping (and recently someone on Reddit was rather confused by the fact that a lot of it is, which is quite an interesting topic to discuss in itself -- after all, there is more to fan creativity than shippy fic... Or there used to be), merely that, here, it appears that a canon relationship can outshine interest in the other, non-canon ones. It's already there and it was doubtless well-done by the show, so it's natural that it should claim people's attention, sure. It's just that being canon was never the parameter for whether people were interested in these or those two (or more) characters maybe being involved and trying to explore what that could mean through fanwork.
There has always been a complaint haunting fandom spaces concerning the minuscule amounts of f/f fic, art, discussion, w/e based on how few (interesting or sympathetic or relatable) female characters there are in media at large. So what I'm curious about is why fan creations made around WN -- a show that finally gives us a whole cast of female characters that are what we have been craving for decades -- don't also reflect its diversity.
There are alternative ships (I'm here, all happy in my tiny Doctor Superion bubble, and I know there are Camila/Lilith, Ava/Lilith, Mary/Shannon, Mary/Lilith shippers out there, so a warm hello to you if you're reading this), but go on AO3 and compare the numbers of things tagged with these proper pairings to the grand total of WN stories. Better (or worse) still, do so with the "otp: true" trick or simply by excluding avatrice from the search to see how many are left.
It's... A considerable difference. And a mystery, at least to me.
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britneyshakespeare Ā· 1 year ago
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can you imagine being a little twee simon and garfunkel fan in the late 60s and then buying your new vinyl at the record store and hearing mrs. robinson for the first time in your own home. i wouldā€™ve fallen over backwards
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puppyeared Ā· 1 year ago
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what if i snapped and made an oc carrd
#i mean.... i could#this isnt the first time ive thought of doing it but i drop ocs so easily its not even funny. so idk if itd be worth it#id consider toyhouse or smth but i dont have money lol. right now everythings on artfight but thats more for drawing purposes#what ocs would i even talk abt... i have some standalones like auggie and ocs i think look cool but dont plan on using#but some others have their own stories.. not like a huge thought out plot but something i pick up and twirl around in my head#like luckys whole deal is being a hiking guide who accidentally gets tied up with some werewolves pretending to be a hiking group to eat pp#and then i have the magician rivals. although i kinda wanna tie theirs with the nightguard and thief story ive been cooking. maybe in the#same universe? it would be pretty funny if they lived in the same apartment complex since a couple stories i have in mind revolve around th#its like some sort of omnibus or anthology to me. kicks my feet#and then fan characters like xin ya and sleight who i want to have their own expanded lore and stuff. i think that would be cool#im making crow a powerpoint of xins updated lore but the assignmence are making it hard. hopefully it turns out good though#i have a hard time writing personality and xins is always the hardest bc theyre probably the least like me. i tend to stick to#characters similar to myself to get in their head. but bc their backstory affects their personality so strongly i have to do some thinking#anyway. hopefully i remember this later#yapping#oc#oc talk#ive also been playing neko atsume recently for nostalgia and why did we as a society ever stop playing it. its so chill#you just take pictures of silly little cats and leave them silly little toys and treats. and the music is cute
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james-spooky Ā· 1 month ago
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this is a test
#iā€™m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters thatā€™s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring letā€™s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk iā€™m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad thatā€™s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isnā€™t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw thereā€™s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i donā€™t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like iā€™m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much itā€™s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books theyā€™re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry thatā€™s made everything a bit messy. i shouldā€™ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think youā€™re being annoying i literally donā€™t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now itā€™s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i donā€™t really have any thoughts to put here idk if weā€™re halfway ermmmm omg itā€™s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. itā€™s wild how itā€™s basically almost christmas. like#what. thatā€™s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesnā€™t crash or#smth cause iā€™ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but iā€™ve saved it and holy jesus itā€™s a lot of text im just sat here giggling thereā€™s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldnā€™t that be crazy) so wait thereā€™s 140#haracters and 30 tags so whatā€™s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i havenā€™t done maths lessons in two and a half years iā€™ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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usercelestial Ā· 1 year ago
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literally nothing will stop me from calling good omens gay "but they're not human!" i do not care "but the lore!" i do not care "but neil gaiman said!" i do not care. those bitches are gay what are you gonna do? call a cop? vague post? cope
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talkorsomething Ā· 5 months ago
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% сŠµŠŗрŠµŃ‚Š½Ń‹Š¹ Š“Š½ŠµŠ²Š½ŠøŠŗ Š»ŠµŠ²Ń‹ ŠŠ• Š§Š˜Š¢ŠŠ™#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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unproduciblesmackdown Ā· 9 days ago
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among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically
& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.
obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?
anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"
#another random night another Verbal Effusion of [forehead to hand]#winston billions#who needs actual questions about power or the consequences of getting to consider others Lessers & acting accordingly#when we can last minute be like uh wendy is god actually. take it away wendy (wait she just does whole other shit half the season)#okay Now take it away wendy i guess b/c the series is dead set on you being the Moral Center#if mostly b/c gosh everyone either loves owning you as pseudo wife or correctly recognizes & defers to your superiority#the scene i couldn't bear to sit through at the start of s7 way too long sequence of wendy Going To Work to the ''cuz im awesome'' song#i was like. lol. i was like okay that is wendy's mood / perspective then. Wrong. it was billions conveying Fact to the audience. rip#abt as great setup for ''the only other shoe that finally dropped was that of Yeah It's This Completely Surface Level'' as possible (:#prince has exactly the same attitudes & actions as wendy does? uh well you see. it's just bad when he does it#if only more wendys were in charge. if only we go ''well even if it's bad if wendy does it? or axe or whoever? Could Be Worse''#nothing to analyze in the [but at least it's not worse] dead end re: justification of Power Leveraging & minimization of its consequences#tl;dr just the victim blaming embraced everywhere & the idea that everything that Deviates from the Norm Too Ethically Mindedly#is just that veneer slapped on overtop of [haha but truly: the norm] like no but seriously we all know It's Not That Deep(tm)#even for the characters written to exercise this [my Extra Mile Ethics] trait regularly it's expressed as this Polite Addendum#to the [what's Really at play] normal. the And Enbies tacked on; that's that on that & it Is an extra veneer to the norm#prince asking if taylor's changing up their pronouns; no more Meant a red flag than him immediately shitting on winston i'm sure#yet yknow why tf suppose taylor more than anyone else would Change Pronouns. taylor who the series also only ever shows as being#misgendered As A Woman. whose drag / cisguise As A Woman is not treated in the same way a man's would be / is#whose emotive / expressive affect isn't either. billions like [the genders are m/f] to [perhaps also amab/afab] Tacked On#as something politely Extra you do to their face that doesn't actually change (threaten) your idea of what's just Normal & True#like it's normal & true that ugh god don't you hate the autistic people around you? don't you wish you could go sicko mode on them#so that they couldn't be around you anymore & they'd have brought it upon themself & really it was good of you b/c The Group Cohesion#thanks you & b/c you just gave them free ABA? yes yep Surely Unquestionably#problem isn't abuse & concomitant violation in & of itself. it's Bad to be someone that's done to. we will announce Exceptions#rest of you either you brought it upon yourself or you failed to Correct that you're not someone who inherently deserves it#that is: someone who just can & will Stop It if done to them. well so you see winston pushing back is ignored or treated to further#backlash & then he withdraws (expression of his experience / creation of a consequence which tells the other Stop Doing This)#&/or otherwise conveys displeasure / being hurt (same as before. ''uh well push back / express xyz'' ppl did & were steamrolled/ignored)
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ni0x Ā· 22 days ago
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And now adding zombie -the cranberries to my list of songs learned on ukulele
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not-a-cheese-thief Ā· 1 year ago
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One thing that always shits me is how the women of The West Wing always think the best way to get favours out of Sam is to play to his ego. It's often been played off like a joke, and in season one, when it was CJ wanting help learning about census data, Sam played into it, but throughout the show it gets worse. To the point where it's clearly upsetting to him.
I hate watching these women play at acting like damsels to get his help with something when he's probably the only one on the show who would always do pretty much anyone a favour just because he's kind. Sam actually listens to people's arguments. Women included. They don't have to manipulate him into trying to impress them. He's willing to be persuaded and to change is mind. Hell, one time he cancelled a rare holiday (ugh, "vacation") last minute because a man who literally used to beat him up asked for help. Yes, Sam felt responsible for saving a man's life, but that's the point. He cares. Even when it really isn't on him, he'll make it his problem.
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ttngummybear Ā· 1 month ago
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The next time I go to try and ask for tech support from the revanced team, someone PLEASE just slap me so I don't do it.
#I don't know if I've ever encountered a meaner dev team for a thing I actually use#Revanced no longer works properly when patched on my phone. Made a reddit post describing such and asked what I should do#and the post got deleted#I posted it because I looked around in the sub and nobody else had posted anything about it recently#Turns out they're deleting ALL posts about this issue with no explanation or warning#Because an image they posted vaguely says 'post a bug report at this link if you're having issues with this patch'#But I didn't realize until after the drama of them nuking my post that that patch was even causing the issue#And I'm also not even welcome in their github because I requested a patch for tumblr and it pissed them off#So I can't do a bug report because I annoy them and they'll delete it#genuinely told the main dev to just ban me from the reddit if there's some kind of issue with me being there#I don't understand why they keep working on this project if people askkng for help pisses them off this bad#I wish there was an alternative. Clearly whatever flavor of what's wrong with me is infuriating to them#I did get it working btw#I had to disable the 'spoof video streams' patch in the revanced settings in the youtube app#But that means my videos could stop playing randomly (not far off from what was happening before; the videos were mostly buffering forever)#I just have to wait until a person who they don't hate comes along and reports it in a way that pleases them so it can get fixed#I won't be participating in debugging since me talking is an issue to them#Revanced#Vent
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imaginealpha Ā· 1 month ago
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Tech product guides trying to troubleshoot your issues: lol have you tried turning it off and turning it on again šŸ§ I'm not going to read any of the things you said you did, if it doesn't work then get fucked. Go to settings and click this option that you said isn't even there anymore
Reddit: here's some actual helpful suggestions on where to find settings that can fix your problem. We're more reliable than google search. Except for when we just tell you to buy new hardware instead of trying to fix your problem
Some obscure tech blog article from 7 years ago: i *google ad* gotchu *google ad* *google ad* *troubleshooter you never knew existed* *google ad* *solution to your problem*
#tell me why i just spent the last four hours troubleshooting issues caused by NOT PLUGGING IN ESSENTIAL CABLES#in my defense i havent worked on the internals of a pc in seven years#but goddamn it was infuriating that the solution to my problems was to plug in a cable three times in a row#it's almost like i didnt have unnecessary cables in there and was keeping the extra one for a reason#but of course the fucking product site wont tell you this#i had to figure out i was missing the goddamn power cable from a youtube video on the bluetooth card installation#and before that i had to plug in a cable that my brother (the person who GAVE ME THIS MOTHERBOARD) said was unnecessary#like HOW did your computer function. mister sir this thing froze on startup without the cpu power supplement cable#extra support my ass#i would love it if msi motherboard installation guides mentioned the bluetooth cable too but noooo#may god help you if you ever have a bluetooth issue because ive had them plenty of times and they are fucking impossible to fix#this is why i quit robotics LMAO#anyways. rant over my pc is built now and the new setup is sooo pretty.#my brother did one thing right with this motherboard and that was installing ram with rgb leds šŸ„°#rainbow hardware my beloved#my old motherboard had these gorgeous leds and then they just stopped working :c i want more#at least this giant desktop is off my floor now. a tour group apparently was here while i wasn't on monday#(super pissed about that btw. if it happens again i will be tearing the office a new one bc we weren't even notified)#like i kicked that thing plenty just trying to walk around my room. it was right by the door. god wont save you if you break my shit#if someone else kicked that thing while in my apartment when i wasn't here. hoo boy#ok that's enough it's 6am and i finished my cocoa espresso three hours ago. i have two athletic classes today i need to sleep#imaginechats#<- new tag!! i might start rambling more#bc i love never shutting the fuck up šŸ˜„#it is a play on imaginecat btw if anyone was wondering. i go by that occasionally as a play on imaginealpha#less formal more cute nickname type thing
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whumpy-wyrms Ā· 10 months ago
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sorry for not being super active iā€™ve been busy slaying princesses :3
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get-more-bald Ā· 3 months ago
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the fuck do you mean I have to leave....
#like. i fully knew this would happen#but the moment is just. so disheartening#'what if we lose the best of our generation' girl so i wasnt the best... cause you just sent me out with low expectations....#<- ngl this fits my character... but at what cost#the way i characterize lori (my vault dweller) is that shes jokey and shes fun and she doesnt take things too seriously#shes had sort of an 'adventuring spirit' and was mostly skilled with weapons and thats why she was sent out#and like. everything was silly to her in the wasteland until her companion (katya) died under the cathedral. then it became too real#and the master conversation traumatized her a bit cause like. here is the creature that caused suffering. and now its real and its so much#more horrible than she was taking it as#also the masters body horror freaked her OUT. cause supermutants etc seemed like just... altered humans. just enemies or just a person#but the master (even tho technically posthuman) was something else entirely#and it became so real and she got a huge reality check and she cant look at anything the same#if not for the master shed probably get back to the vault and keep going in and out. but after the cathedral? she just wanted to go home#safe underground with normal people. maybe nobody would understand her but at least she wouldn't be in that horrible world out there#maybe shed even go with ian and tycho and maybe even dogmeat. and they could be safe from freaks and zealots. but no#when she finally did want to go home - she got locked out. reminded that she was never the best of the generation#and when she finally became that and saved everyone - shes still wrong. not good enough -> too good and too much#shed be a bad influence. she was meant to do the job she was given and shut up and be thrown away when she fulfilled her duty#which ties into her never really doing a job - she doublecrosses gizmo and that maltese falcon guy and the adytum guy etc etc#even when she gets tandi back she goes back to murder everyone there (raiders) though she said she wouldn't#but before it was silly. she was being smart and having fun adventuring even if it got difficult sometimes#but the master was real. katyas death was real. ian almost died. everyone who ever agreed to help her either died or almost died (followers#and bos paladins#)#like shit. lori was NOT meant to be that deep........#also i have thoughts on aria (vault dweller i played before the save got corrupted and i had to abandon him) but there less formed#because when i had to stop playing him and make lori he was only at necropolis for the 1st time#oh my god.... this too ties into lori being always secondary#my poor girl.... i think she died young#young as in like. 30-40
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