#i get this is what AS thinks it looks like when women try to assert power

[cazort]

This is such a great post and I want more people to read it. You articulate a lot of things that I've experienced, better than I've been able to.

I want to add one thing, which is that, under the guise of "many feminist men have no friends", I am nonbinary but was living closeted, as male, for most of my life and still am often seen as such. And some people, including both women and "feminist" men, can be really, really nasty to me when I express even the slightest disagreement with something that they have framed in feminist language, even if the sentiment itself is deeply regressive.

Examples include:

(a) disagreeing or speaking out against statements like "men are scum" or "men or trash"

(b) disagreeing with or speaking out against other negative overgeneralizations about men

(c) disagreeing with statements or defending men when a woman makes a remark that reads negative intent in his action, even in cases where I know the man and know that that was not his intent.

Some examples of this reading of negative intent include:

(1) people thinking a man is coming from a place of misogyny because he is intimidated by a woman (i.e. they assume he is intimidated by her intelligence and want women to be "dumb" or intimidated by her assertiveness and want women to be passive, but in reality the man is intimidated because the woman wields a great deal more social power than the man, i.e. often it's a woman of high socioeconomic status, or a woman who is well-connected in a subculture, and the man is of a lower socioeconomic status and/or is an outsider in the specific subculture, so the women are shaming men for perceived "misogyny" when in reality the women are actually acting out classism towards the man.

(2) a man oversteps a boundary of a woman in a way that she feels uncomfortable with, it could be something like how he looks at her, something he says to her, or a way he touches her. the woman assumes the intent was to make the woman uncomfortable and/or exert power over her. but in reality the man never wanted to make her uncomfortable and he would have never done what he did had he known the woman would have reacted negatively. the actual cause of the overstepping of boundaries can be diverse, it could be autism leading to poor reading of social norms or cues, cultural differences leading to different social expectations and norms, or just individual preferences (the man has had most women before like or respond well to the behavior, and this woman is just different), or it could be social anxiety (the man is anxious and is "lost in his head" and in doing so, overlooks or misreads social cues the woman thinks are obvious), and here's the most aggravating thing, often the woman is intentionally withholding any verbal or even nonverbal expressing of boundaries, like trying to act "nice" and "polite" either intentionally or unintentionally because women are often socialized that way in our society.

These sorts of things happen frequently, but I've noticed that it's totally taboo for men (or rather, anyone perceived as men) to challenge them. When I have done this, I've often gotten a disproportionate amount of hostility directed at me. I have people use harsh negative language, like calling me a "potential rapist" or a "rape apologist" if I say something very mild or gentle like: "Do you think there could have been any cultural differences that led this man to act the way he did?" or "Are you sure that he was able to accurately read your cues and that he didn't just accidentally misread you?" And when I say things like: "Did you try expressing the boundary to him verbally?" people practically explode at me, escalating to language talking about violence, like talking about being afraid of the man killing her, things like that, and then implying that I want women to get murdered and condemning me for it.

It's absolute batshit the way people can react.

So it's not just right-wing circles that can be hostile to men, it's a lot of left-wing circles as well.

Thankfully, I've found great social circles where my friends aren't like this. But it's a serious problem and I want people talking about it.

Thank you for your post!

If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.

"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.

Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.

Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.

You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."

Problem with that being:

1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.

2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.

3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.

4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.

I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.

[not-a-cheese-thief]

One thing that always shits me is how the women of The West Wing always think the best way to get favours out of Sam is to play to his ego. It's often been played off like a joke, and in season one, when it was CJ wanting help learning about census data, Sam played into it, but throughout the show it gets worse. To the point where it's clearly upsetting to him.

I hate watching these women play at acting like damsels to get his help with something when he's probably the only one on the show who would always do pretty much anyone a favour just because he's kind. Sam actually listens to people's arguments. Women included. They don't have to manipulate him into trying to impress them. He's willing to be persuaded and to change is mind. Hell, one time he cancelled a rare holiday (ugh, "vacation") last minute because a man who literally used to beat him up asked for help. Yes, Sam felt responsible for saving a man's life, but that's the point. He cares. Even when it really isn't on him, he'll make it his problem.

[izvmimi]

"You follow her around like a dog, man," Sero says finally, and even if the surrounding ballroom chatter doesn't cease for a moment as the table set for ten starts to receive their first course salads, the parallel conversations among the group of old friends halt abruptly to a stop. Eijiro gives Sero a raise of the eyebrow, then turns to Katsuki, expecting to have to mitigate his hot temper.

The latter clearly has heard the jeer, but he's not the same as perhaps a decade ago, where any one of Sero's teasing comments could have set him off. Glancing back for a second in the direction where you left just moments ago to go to the bathroom, followed by most of the other women at the table, he then turns to look directly at Sero.

"Yeah, that's love, right?" he says, calmly.

Kirishima blinks for a moment, incredulous, then exchanges a look with Kaminari beside him.

Katsuki, as if he hasn't said something highly uncharacteristic of himself, reaches for a bread roll in the middle of the table and then a butter knife.

"You didn't see me follow her into the bathroom, did you?" he adds. Sero snorts, but leans back into his chair.

"I mean no, but-"

Katsuki smears butter on the roll, and sets it on your empty plate, then takes another piece of bread to and butters it the same before taking a bite.

"But what?" he asks. The edge to his voice is back, something that paradoxically puts Sero back at ease.

"It looks strange on you," Denki finally points out.

Katsuki chews for a moment, then swallows, his eyes making a quick scan across the room. At another table, Midoriya's partner is focused on adjusting the lapel of his suit, and at yet another table, Iida is trying to convince Mei to keep her gadgets off the table before the MC starts another toast.

The bride and groom continue to cruise around the venue, and Katsuki cannot stop thinking about how beautiful you would look in that exact dress.

Or something of your own.

"I just can't imagine what the fuck she did-" Sero starts again before Eijiro cuts him off.

"Just knock it off for a second," he says, gently but assertively. Katsuki doesn't pay any mind to him as he observes the table favors.

These flowers are beautiful, but they aren't your favorite. They're gorgeous, but made of plastic while you'd prefer hundreds of real ones.

You've told him small weddings feel more intimate. This wedding isn't in the right season for you, but it's your second choice. You don't yet know how many people will be in the bridal party but you've floated some ideas.

You don't yet have a ring on your finger.

The many thoughts dissipate when your hand rests gently on his shoulder as you slip back into the seat next to him.

"Oh, they didn't bring out the food yet," you say, and Katsuki points to the bread on your plate, reminding you to eat.

His friends are captive audiences as you smile and take a bite, and perhaps horrified as he smiles back warmly, genuinely.

Love does look strange on him, perhaps.

But they'll have to get used to it because it will not go away.

[inkskinned]

the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.

women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.

what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.

i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.

fuck, man. write better material.

a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.

god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.

this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.

we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.

i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -

it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.

[a-hazbin-reader]

could you do something about how alastor gets jealous and how he shows it? Like what things would get him jealous and stuff like that and then how he would go about it? Thank you!

I guess I gotta- 🥵

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Alastor being a red flag, Wifey is into it even though she pretends not to be, A widdle suggestive

Description: ☝️⬆️

It doesn't take much to make Alastor jealous, he has a big ego to defend and doesn't like to share your attention

He also doesn't think a lot of people are worthy of your attention so that's a big part of it

Alastor is almost childish the way he acts out when he's jealous, it's painfully obvious even though he denies it every time

He sulks and acts out to get your attention back on him, doing anything he can to make you just look at him

He's rude and intimidating to anyone he thinks is flirting with you or trying to take you for themselves

After every incident, he tries to pretend like nothing happened and refuses to acknowledge his jealous streak

Can't people just understand that you're a married woman and that Alastor deserves all of your time???

Someone is talking to you and you're laughing too hard, cheeks a little too pink? Alastor is right there to sniff out any ill intention

"What's so funny, my dear? Surely you're not gossiping without me.."

He's wrapping a protective arm around you and kissing your cheek, eyeing the other person the entire time as he asserts his husbandly dominance over them

"Hm? Oh! He was telling me a funny joke about-"

Alastor takes a break from kissing your wrist and palm to snap his gaze to the other man, a wicked gleam in his eye

"Ohhhh! So you're a clown! Wonderful~! Your attire had me wondering what you do for a living, but now it all makes sense!"

The other person is visibly uncomfortable by your husband's unspoken challenge and backs out of the conversation with their tail between their legs

"I guess he had other things to do~"

You roll your eyes as Alastor nuzzles your neck, petting his around his ears and antlers

"You're are not a very subtle man, my dear."

You're dancing with someone who's not him? Alastor will physically shut that shit down

He spends maybe a full minute pouting and ignoring everyone else around him, eyes locked on you and your dance partner

"Alastor, are you even listening?"

"Out of all the women here, why did he choose MY wife? I walked away for one second, and he snatched her up!"

He doesn't care for how closely they're holding you, the way they blush and smile from your attention

Alastor isn't having it, striding over and using his hip to push the man away from you and off the dance floor, taking your hand

You're trying not to smile at him, pressing against your husband as you take his hand and dance with him

"Alastor, that was rude..."

He simply chuckles and spins you around happily, snapping his fingers to change the song into something more romantic

"I would say I'm sorry but we both know I'm not~ Besides, I waited for my chance to dance with you!"

It's hard to stay mad at him when he's looking at you like you're the only person in the world and holding you like you're something precious

It helps that he's so handsome, you can't help but lean up and steal a kiss from him, feeling familiar butterflies at the touch

"You've been dancing with me all night, and you barely waited a minute... you greedy demon~"

He leans into your hand as you cup his cheek, tail wagging from having your undivided attention again

"Is it a crime that I want to hog my darling wife? That I crave every opportunity to dance with her and steal the show?"

He's leaning in for another kiss, and it makes you instinctively move in closer to meet his lips

"It will be if you keep injuring people~"

And those are just some examples of people who weren't flirting with you, it's so much worse when someone actually wants you

You're waiting for your husband to meet with you for your date, dressed up and looking your absolute best

When you hear a sharp whistle from behind, only to see a sleazy looking demon towering over you and eyeing your body

"And just where do you think you're going looking like that, beautiful? My place is that way~"

He's much too close, placing a hand on the wall behind you in order to keep you from running, completely unaware of the danger he's in

You can't help but roll your eyes at the situation

"I'm flattered, really I am... but I'm not interested, I'm waiting for someone, actually."

You casually move out from under his arm, completely unfazed by the way his expression darkens as you fix your appearance

"Oh really? And just who might you be waiting for? Let me guess, your boyfriend?"

He doesn't look like he believes you, making air quotes around the word boyfriend

You can't help but laugh at the poor soul, putting a hand on your hip as you whip around to face him-

"Husband, actually~ My name is Alastor though maybe you'll recognize my other name! The Radio Demon~ Maybe you've heard of me?"

It's such a treat to watch the cocky demon lose his composure in fear and so sexy to watch your husband be the cause of it

The demon is so much larger than Alastor but he's practically cowering away from him, Alastor grinning at him as he tilts his head

"Look uh-I'm sorry! I didn't realize-"

Your husband tuts at the demon, antlers already growing as he morphs into his larger demonic form

You can't help but blush at how sweet Alastor is being, rushing to your rescue like this

"Didn't realize what? That you were hitting on my wife? You think I would just stand by and let you think you have a shot with her? She's much too far out of your league, unfortunately."

He's so cute when he's jealous

"Darling, do be quick with that? I don't want to miss our reservation-and no eating him! I don't want you to spoil your appetite!"

Alastor looks at you and visibly blushes at how good you look, the other demon simply an afterthought as he tears them apart

"My dear, you look absolutely ravishing~ How am I going to keep the other men from looking at you when you're so delectable?"

He's still humongous, a large claw reaching out to stroke your leg tenderly, a lovesick expression on his face

You can practically see the hearts in his eyes~ Smiling at your husband and blowing him a kiss

"It's a good thing that you're the only man I have eyes for then, isn't it?"

He shrinks back down to his normal size and kisses your hand before wrapping an arm around you as you two walk together

"It's something that I'm extraordinarily grateful for~"

You can't help but lean your head against him, letting him nuzzle the top of your head in an affectionate manner

"Though~ I wouldn't mind a refresher of just how much you adore me...~"

You can't help but snort at the comment, gently slapping his chest before pulling him in for a kiss

"Dinner first~ You'll need your strength~"

I might go back and change this one a bit ngl

[astrow1zar6]

Astrology Observations- 013

I notice Cap Mercurys think so maturely even from such a very young age. These were those kids that always wanted to hang around people older than them. They are old souls at heart and sometimes it’s harder for them to connect with more childlike energies. People their age can see them as boring because of their serious demeanor.

Leo Risings never like to show the sides to them that make them look bad in anyway. These people have big egos so any assumption from others that they aren’t anything but great can take a big toll on their self esteem. They come off so confident but most are really insecure & don’t think they are interesting so they tend exaggerate a lot of facts about them to keep people thinking they are really interesting and amazing. (U guys don’t need ti do that people already think you are before you even speak)

Capricorn risings always look so annoyed when people are speaking to them. Most of the time they are. They have very honest expressions and when someone says something stupid or uninteresting they are more willing to show their uninterested while most are just willing to smile and take it out of being polite. This is why they can come off as rude or snobbish but really the just don’t have time for bullshit. (I definitely think Wednesday Addams has this placement) many don’t know they are being rude but most don’t have the energy to be fake if they really don’t like what the others saying. Very Real people many mistake them for being Scorpio risings.

Venus in Scorpios were probably shamed a lot for their their sex appeal/drives. I notice these people have a very provocative vibe to them that causes a lot of ppl to sexualize them ( especially the women). I’ve seen women with this placement be virgins and still get slut shamed. People always assume they sleep with mad people even if it’s not true.

Moon in 5th housers are actually very secretive about their talents. A lot are so talented but most tend to keep their hobbies and interests to themselves unless they really trust you.

When someone with Venus in the 7th house likes you they will talk about their future a lot with you. This one guy had a big crush on me and would always joke about getting married and starting a life someday ( he made it sound as a joke but in a way I can tell he meant it). Also can be obsessed with weddings. I have a friend with this placement who says she’ll only wanna get married to experience having her dream wedding lol

Venus in 2nd house women always have people buying them things bro. They don’t even have to ask and men will be buying them expensive gifts or paying for their food or trips. Definition of pretty privilege.

Mars in Aquarius like very eccentric things in bed. It’s almost like they enjoy the opposite of what should be expected in bed. Like the women would like to take normally the male role in bed and vice versa a man with this placement could like a very submissive role. The weirder and more out of place the more turned on they get. Can also be really experimental they are willing to try anything once even if it’s outlandish.

Mars in Aries are usually natural athletes. They have amazing endurance and can become pros faster than most.

Virgo moons usually have bad stomach problems or eating disorders. They are also always giving unsolicited advice no one asked for. They feel this need to solve everything but it can come off as kinda judgmental.

Mars in Pisces are usually victims to bullying. They usually have a hard time asserting themselves and standing up so they get pushed around a lot easier by stronger more dominant energies.

Cap moons are always in denial of their feelings

Mars Square Venus synastry can be really awkward at times in a friendship. Theres this bizarre sexual and touchy tension usually that both aren’t fully comfortable with. The mars person can come off a little too strong and can treat the Venus as if they own them. This attraction can be one sided sometimes with the mars person wanting the Venus and the Venus getting repulsed and distancing themselves. I’ve seen the mars person get jealous if the Venus would hang out with others whether it be other friends or family. And if the Venus is dating someone else this can get really heated on the mars end. Venus will feel the attraction but I notice it’s not as strong.

Venus in 5th house synastry is soooooo flirty. These are those cheesy cringey couples that are always acting like little kids around eachother. It’s actually a really sweet placement. This person will be able to bring out your inner child.

Venus in Libras are always crushing on someone. They jump into relationships I think faster than people with Venus in Aries the only difference is that they can maintain longer term partnerships & don’t bore as quick (even if their feelings are a little superficial). They just don’t know what to do with themselves when they are alone.

Scorpio risings I notice get really strong reactions out of people (like Lilith/asc people) their words make others blood boil even if they really don’t say anything offensive or rude. Most people are jealous of their authenticity which is why a lot of Scorpio risings are quiet and not as willing to open up. People just hate on them so intensely for the littlest things. They also have this ability to know if people are genuine or not which can be intrusive to certain people causing intense reactions. They can see thru everyone’s mask which can make other feel uncomfortable to be around them. This is why they usually have few friends and the friends they do have are as authentic as themselves. Literal human lie detectors

Men that have a water sun with a water moon are BIG SIMPS

Cancer sun women will be passively rude to you if they don’t like you or are jealous of you. They won’t straight say it but they will say little comments in a nice way that’s actually really rude. Then usually play victim if confronted

Everyone’s crush in high-school was either a Scorpio sun or a Libra sun/rising. Tell me I’m lying

[marasmadness]

hii could you possibly do a jj x emily x reader smut fic where they are protective over her and maybe someone else flirts with her idk 🫶

What We Deserve || J.J x E.P x reader

a/n: changed it slightly bc I kept getting stuck and scrapped this like three times but hope you guys like it :)

CW: dark!jemily x sunshine reader, guns, violence, Emily and JJ turning to revenge, slightest past Emily angst, stalking and sexual harassment (a man who later becomes irrelevant), threesome, age gap, smut, mild gunplay, strap-on sex, oral sex, face-sitting, daddy kink (one time), light choking, praise (she holds your hand and talks you through it🥰)

“I can stay tonight,” you offered up easily, trying to hide the fact that you were incredibly eager at the possibility of not returning home tonight.

Emily looked up from her desk, baffled by why you would ask to spend the night working, and scrutinized your body language with her eyes. This was something Garcia had warned you about when she recommended you for the job position Emily and JJ were trying to fill. They were excellent profilers, or at least formerly, but their old habits never left them.

After the two women turned to a more avenging and under-the-table profession, they turned to Garcia for her usual tech intel, but as she remained a current government employee, she was unable to give them her usual assistance. Instead, she recommended you, “her protégé,” she claimed.

You had offered up your nights to the older woman four times in the last two weeks, which wouldn’t be unusual for a demanding corporate job, but this wasn’t that. The couple worked from their grand home with three offices to exceed all their work needs. You assisted them on the tech side of things and were an expert at tracking people down. In this case, it was usually whatever unpunished psychopath or scumbag they were currently hunting.

“Why don’t you want to ever go home?” Emily questioned, resting the end of her pen on her lip. Her question was in no way rude, despite her consistently assertive tone. She just wanted to know why anyone would rather spend their nights working at a new job with few people to talk to and staring at a mini computer screen than return to a cozy apartment.

“No, it’s not that. I’m just willing to help out here,” you replied, rubbing your knuckles against the fabric of your pencil skirt.

JJ, who was shuffling through a paper trail you just printed out, profiled you cockily without even looking up. “ Lying? Didn’t think you had it in you sunshine,” the blonde quipped.

The "Sunshine" nickname and “Learn that from Garcia?” Jokes have been nonstop since you started. You weren’t sure how much of your demeanor you actually picked up from spending plenty of time with Penelope or if it just stemmed from the fact that you were generally quieter and gentler than the two women who kept guns tucked underneath their blazers at all times.

Emily flicked JJ’s shoulder as she slid behind JJ’s chair to reach a final cabinet, a subtle way of telling her to cut it out, but she couldn’t help the small smirk that crossed her face. She tipped her head toward you, pointing across the hall. “Go grab your work and bring it back here. Shut the lights off on your way back too.”

You quickly pivoted around, treading to the conference room to grab a folder and your laptop. For two vigilantes, they were incredibly organized. You assumed that’s what made them so good, and their FBI experience probably helped. You returned to work in their office, working through the list of wanted profiles and trails for the two women. At some point, Emily appeared behind you, watching as your fingers flew across the keyboard. You restrained your instinct to flinch as her hands grasped your shoulders.

After two hours, the glare of your laptop screen blurred before your eyes. Entirely zoned out, you jumped slightly when Emily’s hands found your shoulders, her breath rushing across your ear. “Go home, rest; it’s late,” the gravelly sound of her voice sounded from just above your shoulder.

“You’re still here working though,” you protested out, pointing out how her and JJ were still camped out at their desks with no intent of leaving anytime soon.

She raised her eyebrow, catching you off guard when she spun your chair around, pressing her knee into the seat beside your thigh. “That was an order. You’re no help if you come back tomorrow sleep-deprived. JJ and I have been on this schedule for years. We’ll sleep when we retire.”

You listened, gathering up your stuff. Your keys jangled against your side as you stopped to linger in the doorway before making your way out to your car.

The streets were pitch black and mostly empty as you drove to the low thrum of the radio. Your fingers bounced anxiously on the steering wheel while pulling into the parking lot beneath your apartment complex. It was late; nobody would still be out and about, and your trip up to the 3rd floor would be uninterrupted. You reassured yourself. You were right to some extent. The stairwells were empty and a little eerie.

Your hand closed around your doorknob when the reason you were reluctant to return home called out, making you flinch in the dark. “Late night?”

“Mhm,” you replied dismissively while hurriedly fumbling for your keys. You could see his silhouette in his shadow as he stepped out of his apartment and turned down the hall toward yours.

“What kept you out late?”

“Just work.” You didn’t look up, pushing your door open roughly. Slipping inside, you were a second too slow. ”Good night, Ro,” you said sternly, attempting to close the door as he appeared in your doorway. Your heart started thumping in your chest as his palm slapped against the already splintering door.

“Hey, wait up, what’s the rush?” He grinned, holding his weight against the door to keep it open. You froze, only able to keep the door at the crack it was, and no further. Too focused on your sweaty hands gripping the door, you missed the soft clicking pair of footsteps until it was too late.

Two strong hands engulfed your body, one sliding around your waist and pulling you against a warm torso, and the other expertly clamping down on your mouth. Your eyes darted back and forth, catching a whirl of raven hair between you and the door. Without your half of the balancing act, the door slammed up against the wall, leaving Ro and the stranger in your apartment facing off.

“May I help you sweetheart?” A sickly sweet and familiar voice rang out, throwing your stalkerish neighbor for a loop. Emily.

You were dragged backward slightly, out of view, forcefully but not violently. A blond wave of hair fell over your shoulder, and vanilla perfume became mixed in with your heavy breaths. Emily, and JJ.

Ro suddenly stepped back into the hallway. ”Who the hell are you? Wait, you were on the news. You were in the FBI.”

“Catching on so quickly,” Emily taunted while revealing her gun from her side, raising it casually. “Step inside, close the door behind you, scream and you won’t make it back out alive,” she instructed, waving the barrel of the gun as she spoke.

He obeyed, if only out of obvious terror. JJ stepped out of the shadows with you in her grasp. Out of angry instinct, he lurched toward you. “Crazy bitch.”

JJ defensively tightened her bicep around your body, moving you behind her. She and Emily moved as one fluid, deadly unit. Sharp, efficiently placed pressure on Ro’s shoulders from Emily made him drop to the floor like a fly, his knees cracking against the floor. The point of JJ’s boot dug into the flesh of his leg, threateningly close to his crotch.

Emily was back to looming over him, hands steady as she clicked the gun against his temple. ”Here’s how this is going to work. We managed to find video footage of you breaking into this apartment, stalking, and harassing, and that’s just the surface—things that we found in seconds. If, and that’s a questionable if you leave here alive, so will we, because if you turn us in, we turn you in, and with all the cameras disabled in this apartment, who are the courts more likely to believe former FBI agents who left peacefully and with high credibility, or you?” Silence. “That’s what I thought. You’ll also be ending your lease within the next 24 hours, and I highly suggest your next place be at least 25 miles from this apartment. Last but not least, apologize.”

You saw him wince at the pressure from the weapon or Emily’s voice as he looked up at you from the ground.

“ I-, I’m sorry! Ah!” He yelled out as Emily knicked the side of his head.

“Do fucking better, and I’m not one to dish out third chances, so make it good.”

You nearly blacked out at the scene unfolding in front of you. His apology played like a distant voiceover in your head; JJ’s hands felt hot against your skin; and you didn’t even start to leave this dazed state until Emily was forcefully leading your now-former neighbor out of your apartment.

Emily guided you toward the back of your apartment while JJ locked it up, not before surveying the hallway twice.

Flicking on a dim light, Emily braced herself against the doorframe as you turned around to face her. “So, “I can totally work late,” was actually Mr. insecure fucking stalker?” She prodded, adding a slight imitation of your voice into her tone.

“He wasn’t a stalker; he was just gross and pushy. He asked me out when he first moved in; I said no, and he never really let it go,” you explained in an attempt to descalate.

Emily scoffed, removing her blazer as she invited herself to sit down on your bed with her hands pressed into her thighs. “Honey, he intercepted you every time you came home, couldn’t take no for an answer, and knew your schedule by heart. Why didn’t you just tell JJ or me? We could’ve handled it.”

You circled around the room, still attempting to process what had happened. “Okay, and by handled, do you mean go fucking insane?” You asked in a raised whisper, tangling your almost-twitching fingers in your hair. “You cannot just pull a gun out from underneath your blazer and hold it to someone’s head while your wife threatens them with credentials she no longer even has!”

Emily stood up quickly, untucking her blouse from her pants with her sharp movements. “And he can’t just monitor your life and push his way into your apartment!” She shot back with fire in her tone. You seemed to have hit a nerve. Your best guess was that wherever this anger was coming from, it also had to do with whatever reason she left the BAU for, something she had yet to reveal to you. “He had no right, and you’re not responsible for his actions. Look at me,” she commanded, tipping your chin toward her gaze with two fingers. “Even if you said yes, he would still behave as he always has, as a creeping coward. I spent my whole career chasing carbon copies of men like him. Nothing will change their sense of entitlement from believing they deserve women who they could never appreciate or understand.” Finishing, her chest rose up and down with emotion as you remained still in her grip.

“Is that why you quit?” You asked, slightly steering the conversation back toward her. “Because of people getting what they didn’t understand or deserve?”

“Yes, I was tired of having to put people I cared about or wanted to care about,” she added, refocusing on you, “in danger and not being able to be the one who served repercussions.”

Feelings you had pushed down since day 1 rose up in your throat. “And have you ever contemplated what you deserve?” you asked as a more relaxed smile curled on her lips.

She nodded as her eyes flickered down your skin. Her forehead glistened with unexpired anger and effort as she swiped a piece of damp hair from it.

“And what’s that?” you asked. Moving your hands backwards, they landed on the dresser, feeling as if the space between you and Emily was growing closer and closer, more intoxicatingly suffocating.

“You.” JJ’s smooth and confident voice filled in the blank for Emily, and you felt your entire body flush with warmth. She had been walking by the door with silent steps and filled in the rest with context. While her calm and mildly seductive reaction to the scene surprised you, it only made Emily grin, curling her fingers to invite the blonde into the room as she shut the door behind her. Emily had seen the way her wife’s gaze soaked in your body the first day you stepped in the door with a bright smile, making her hungrily sink her teeth into her lip. Emily admittedly had quite a similar reaction.

Distracted by JJ’s appearance, you hadn’t noticed Emily’s shift until you felt her body press up behind you and her lips dance across your neck. Removing her gun from her side, you expected her to put it on the nightstand beside you, so you were taken aback when she pressed the edge up against your ribs, leaving you to feel the cool metal through the thin material of your shirt. All the air left your lungs as she slowly dragged it up your skin, her deep red-painted nails leaving a trail of scratches in their wake. The barrel of the gun followed the curve of your chin until she used to tip to guide your gaze up to hers. Trust me, at least for tonight.” She placed the gun on your nightstand with dangerous amusement flashing across her eyes.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she pulled you between her legs, unbuttoning your shirt with nimble fingers until it slipped off your shoulders. Slipping her hands beneath the hem of your skirt, her fingers grazed against the skin of your lower belly, the cold metal of her rings making you tense.

She slowly and seductively removed the rest of your clothes, taking her sweet time to soak in every inch of your body. You followed her lead as she charmingly held out her hand to help you climb up and kneel on the mattress. She followed, settling at the top of the bed. “Come up here; let me taste you.” She rapped your thighs until you were straddled over her body. Her suave confidence and eagerness to aid in your pleasure were new to you and created a confusing knot of feelings in your stomach. Your knuckles turned white with your grip on the headboard, holding yourself up delicately.

Emily wet her lips, curving them into a smile. “Sit means actually sit, love.” Her hands gripped the back of your legs, dragging your throbbing cunt onto her mouth. A satisfied groan left her lips, vibrating through you.

Behind you, JJ’s nonchalance surprised you. In every other environment, she was incredibly overprotective. In this case, both the people she was ever overprotective of were right in front of her, so she was happy to pour a drink, sit back and watch… or at least for a moment.

Through your muffled thoughts brought on by Emily’s lips wrapping around your clit and her hands kneading at the flesh of your thighs, you heard JJ’s glass clink on the table before her hands appeared on your body. You felt the mattress sink beneath you as she climbed up on the bed behind you, cupping your breasts in her hands as her lips trailed along your neck. “If I’m gonna let you fuck my wife, I think it’s only appropriate that I get something as well, don’t you, doll?” She murmured, her breath leaving a trail of warmth along your skin, until she found your mouth, sinking her teeth into your bottom lip. A soft whine escaped as she pulled away, taking her touch with her, and sat down next to you.

Your knuckles grew white against the headboard as Emily’s tongue curled against the walls of your tongue, drawing you closer and closer to a shattering orgasm. JJ, next to you was only contributing to your arousal as she undressed herself and raked her long, blond hair out of her face with a ravenous look. Your body tensed on quivering thighs resting on either side of Emily’s head as she pulled your cunt down in her mouth, flattening her tongue against your sensitive nerve. A stew of moans and expletives fell from your lips as you coated her tongue, and she looked up with a slick, lopped grin as if she had just won a trophy.

Without more than half a breath, she was up and directing you between JJ’s legs, driven by lust-induced vigor. “Eat her out,” she commanded with a soft air of confidence.

Focused on pleasuring JJ, you only caught a blur of Emily in your peripheral vision, slipping out of black work pants and letting her belt hit the ground. Arched between JJ’s legs, she secured her feet over your shoulders, trapping your head between toned thighs as you delved into her cunt. The blonde’s head sank back with a guttural moan as you circled and sucked at her clit.

You stuttered as Emily caught you off guard, dragging her fingers down your spine until she squeezed your ass. JJ’s hands found their way into your hair, guiding your back down between her legs with a sickly soft tone, but you didn’t miss the smirk shot at Emily over her head. “Focus baby, okay? Don’t worry about her.”

You listened, far into the hazy trance of the women surrounding you. As your tongue roamed JJ’s pussy you could feel Emily’s grasp on your hips, positioning them to her likely, and then what came as a startle from your lack of awareness was the silicon texture of her thick strap gently teasing your entrance as you brought her wife closer and closer to an orgasm.

She pistoned the faux-cock inside of you, and you choked out a gasp that made JJ’s hips stutter as she arched her back off the mattress. “Fuck, almost there, doll, let me come on your tongue.” Her words slowly morphed into pants as she reached her climax, with a heaving chest and a tight grip on your hair. Her legs relaxed on your shoulder as Emily continued thrusting into you, the slight ridges of her strap against your walls leaving you gripping at JJ with desperation. JJ found your hands. Running her thumbs across your knuckles with soft praise. “Come for daddy, baby,” she mumbled into her forward before leaning up into Emily’s brief breathless kiss. Your three sheening bodies were intertwined in various ways. The room was filled with obscene noises and sounds from the lingering exhaustion of pleasure.

With close attention, JJ caught on when you were close, using two fingers to drag your chin upwards, forcing you to look her in the eye as your juices coated Emily’s cock. As you came, Emily’s hand wrapped lightly around your throat, adding an extra starry haze to your orgasm. You collapsed in a euphoric state on JJ’s lap. She chuckled at your fucked-out state, running her hands through your hair. Emily wore a similar smile of satisfaction as she left a trail of light kisses down the back of your legs. She was the one to get up and go to the bathroom, preparing to help the three of you clean up and collapse back onto your queen-sized bed in a dreamlike sleep.

[itsjustaninchident]

Starlight☆

Lando Norris x Model!Wife!Reader

smau

summary: Getting married means having children.... Or not? 5 months into marriage and a lot of hate and pressure has been thrown on the couple. A part 2 of To the Moon and To Saturn.

warning/s: sexual innuendos, misogynistic comments, hate comments (tell me if I missed something)

author's note: This is the most tedious and longest work I've probably done here 😭 I definitely enjoyed doing this, I enjoy reading comments from you guys and also requests are always open, I'm just not fast in making it but I'll definitely do your requests🤍

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,321,987 others

yourusername oh sorry can't find it on the mirror where I gaf

view 63,483 comments...

user1 THE IT GIRL OF THIS GENERATION

user2 THE FUTURE KIDS WOULD SAY THEY WERE BORN IN THE WRONG GENERATION UPON SEEING THIS GIRL IN THE FUTURE

user3 scrolling through the pictures slay after slay and then lando norris

user4 i still can't believe they're married

user5 Can't wrap my head around how a man who drives for a living is dating the hottest girl alive

landonorris can't believe it either

user6 at least he's self aware

user7 you're both hot tbf

user8 why are hot people only for hot people

user9 this is just too cute

user10 their kids are gonna be good looking istg

user11 I mean the parents are both good looking so

user12 can't wait omg they're gonna look so cute😭

yourusername respectfully, no.

user13 oh.

user14 is this how I confirm they both don't want children😭

user15 yn shutting off comments suggesting kids for both of them😭 she's just like me fr

user16 yn is so real for that😭 she def saw that tiktok girl with the list

user17 THE WORLD IS SIMPLY NOT READY FOR THIS GIRL😭

user18 haters are found in the ditch i fear

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,239,876 others

landonorris P2 in Singapore!❤️

view 32,987 comments...

user1 congrats lando!!!

user2 definitely deserve!

user3 why is yn not present in the sg gp?

landonorris she's busy with work :)

user4 shouldn't yn be present to her husband's races, she like missed 4 races already?

user5 girl she can't possibly be with him all the damn time😭 she's got work too

user6 leave yn alone, she literally go all out whenever she can support lando in his races

landonorris she supports me even though she's across the world, it's not her responsibility to go to every race and she has her own work to tend to.

user7 GAGGED!

user8 when he never lets anyone talk shit about you>>>>

user9 they definitely deserve each other

user10 can people stop demanding for yn and just congratulate lando😭 leave the girl alone she's not doing anything to y'all

yourusername CONGRATS BABY! any requests? ;)

user11 HE'S DEF GETTING IT😭

landonorris i think i've made it clear on chat🤔

yourusername assertive, i like it🫡

user12 STOP BEING HORNY ON MAIN?

user13 they're literally unstoppable 😭

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 976,890 others

yourusername let me fix my shoes first

view 21,765 comments...

lilymhe can u please divorce the L word and elope with me?

yourusername contacting the lawyers📞

landonorris HEY!!

alexalbon maybe we're the ones meant for each other, mate

user1 L WORD?!😭

user2 this is actually alex's karma for calling his girlfriend the squid game girl😭

user3 personally would be my last straw

user4 why is yn always outside, can't even become a decent wife and do her chores

user5 women should just stay in the house and cook.

yourusername you should try a challenge

user5 and what is that?

yourusername it's called shutting tf up

user6 GET HIMMMM

user7 you idiots, that's literally her job she needs to constantly attend events and model products she's not outside for NOTHING, unlike you.

user8 maybe that's why they don't have kids together lol he definitely would divorce her later on

yourusername checked your profile, looks like you're not even close to getting your first girlfriend

user9 HELP😭 OMG I LIVE FOR UNFILTERED YN😭

user10 these disgusting comments about yn... she's so strong to be able to handle all of these hate just because she's married to a well-known athlete.

user11 the absolute sickening moments ever for women, we can't have anything. The world does not want us to be happy.

user12 true, makes me think how she even deserves all the hate comments when she's been the nicest, most supportive, and loving partner to lando

user13 the answer is easy, she's a woman who married a man. All these men who never grew out of their highschool phase suddenly think they've got the right to talk shit about her just because she married their favorite athlete🙄

user14 YN CAN YOU PLEASE STEP ON ME

user15 calm down girl, my boyfriend's on this app🥵

yourusername oh honey, if your boyfriend admires other girls he's not your boyfriend anymore

user15 IM JUST KIDDING I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I WANT

user16 she's an it girl and a girl's girl🫡

user17 she really said don't let any man disrespect u

via interview...

via twitter...

via article...

via twitter...

yourusername

liked by landonorris, carmmenmundt, and 2,309,674 others

yourusername baby #1 full of food

view 23,029 comments...

landonorris can't believe this is how I find out I'm gonna be a dad

yourusername thanks for feeding me ig now u're gonna have to take full responsibility

landonorris i fully accept becoming a father of food

user0 idk what's up with these two😭

user-1 they're literally the perfect match both of them goofy af

yourfriend is this for real?!

yourusername no bae ;)

yourfriend AMEN

user1 not yn trolling the whole damn nation only for it to be a food baby😭

user2 this is what the media gets for pressuring them into becoming parents when clearly they want a different path lol

user3 true, they've made it clear numerous times already that they want to enjoy their married life more and not involve kids in the process

user4 they're so real for that

user5 I remember in an interview of yn with the same question and she said something like "I just feel like in this day and age, having children isn't a priority for most people of this generation and I'm glad that most of us are realizing how big of a deal it is to have children and deciding to not bring them in this world when we are very self aware of our capabilities. It's time we should stop pressuring couples, more so women in giving birth because it's not the only thing we're here for."

user6 SHE'S SO SLAY?!

user7 MY ELOQUENT QUEEN

user8 slay after slay

user9 everyday i have to be reminded that im actually not married to yn and we dont have 4 kids tgt

user10 SHE'S LEGIT SO ICONIC FOR THIS😭

user11 a slap on the face for those nosy people up in their business

hope y'all actually enjoyed this as much as I did writing it😭 comments are highly appreciated 🫶 lovelots♡

[justliketoreadsowhat]

Self Indulgence ☀︎︎

☀︎︎ 𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐠𝐞 𝐈𝐧 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐌𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

𝐀/𝐧: 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝

______________________________

“𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐈𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞“ 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐯𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐯𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐨𝐧𝐚.

Phoenix was one of the many places you had marked on your list of places to visit this summer before you went back into hibernation for school. You had made a stern promise to yourself that you would get out of the house more and become less of a homebody.

Solo trips and dates became a common factor when venturing out. Being by yourself wasn't the downfall of your vow, you didn't mind being solo, peace rained throughout your mindset as you found solace within your life.

Stepping up to the venue, the windows deeply tinted, allowing the smallest bit of view to see from the outside. On the side, cars were aligned in unison, Mercedez, Maybach's, and Range Rover's easily toppling over thousands of dollars.

Reaching out to open the small double doors, you were met with a security guard who looked everything but amused, towering over your frame aimlessly. His eyes red and low quickly scanning over your attire. He began to nod slowly to himself, pondering with his own thoughts.

Speaking up with a ragged tone "Oh you must be one of their girlfriends right?" his head motioned behind him, revealing a dim purple hue, the area filled with dangerously tall women scattered around each section.

Just go with it

"Uh- yes, sorry I hope I'm not too late" you pressed, falsely checking your gold-plated watch that hasn't ticked in years.

The guard shook his head slightly, "Nah we're just getting started" his free hand released from his biceps motioning you to walk through the entrance. Grounding your steady footsteps, walking into the shallow doorway, the smell of alcohol and prominent fragrance swiveled through the air making your head dizzy.

Music blared through the speakers with bass that shook the ground, how could anyone hear themselves think? To calm your senses, a drink was added to your agenda, a good fruit mixture would never lead you in the wrong direction.

Locating the crowded bar planted in the far right corner was easy, but physically getting there was not. People swarmed every inch of the floor making it nearly impossible to move without touching someone. Cautiously maneuvering through the crowds, you soon acquire that everyone here was in fact a woman, not a male figure in sight, excluding the stoned guard.

Women of all dynamics, tall, muscular, and every lick of beautiful, coming from all different shades. Instantly you knew you were way out of your element, and you'd be indulging every second of it.

Approaching the bar, attempting to blend into the vibe that was flowing through the atmosphere. Cool, calm, and collected. Looking over the different variations of drinks displayed behind the counter.

"You know the pink Whitney and Shirley temple mix goes crazy together, you should try it" a low voice rang in your ear sending a small shiver throughout your body. Eyes darting to the view next to you met with a pair of ocean blue ones.

A small smile masked the impending nervousness growing. "I'm not really a Shirley girl but I love a good pink Whitney"

Her face twisted in shock "Really?!, you look like the type though" Paige asserted, slowly licking her lips and tasting the faint alcohol that lingered. Her demeanor was soft, yet so dominant at all once. It was hard to tell whether she was fully sober or if she was just naturally charming and spoke to whoever was in her line of sight.

"Now what does that mean?" you questioned tilting your head slightly, remarking on her ability to maintain eye contact so easily.

She shrugged "Most pretty girls love Shirley temples" smiling to herself.

"I take it that you're one of them hm?" confiding in the way her features correlated so nicely. Lips the perfect shade of pink, eyelashes curled to perfection, hair slicked back without a single strand out of place. Her tall frame made every aspect match perfectly, including her two-piece set that had dashes of purple stitched within each pattern.

"Something like that" she bantered, tapping her fingers against the cold counter "Here let me buy you one" plucking the gold Amex card stashed in the back of her purple phone case. Good to know you could skip the whole "What's your favorite color" mantra.

"Oh no no it's alright, you don't have to spend your money on me I got it" gently sliding her card back into the slot. Denying Paige was not on your game card for tonight, but you refused to let anyone buy you anything, ever.

"Nah it's not a problem" Paige insisted "Are you here with someone?"

Replaying the guards' assumption in your head, you quickly denied "No I'm just here by myself.." 2nd guessing your answer, a silent prayer sped through your mind, hoping that you didn't talk yourself into a frenzy.

"Mm." she hummed softly against her lips, almost as if she knew you were spiraling on the inside.

"Why do you ask?" your tone more so concerned rather than confused.

Her eyes lightened at your expression "I'm just asking mama, no pressure" a smirk plastered across her face as she watched your eyes widen at the name. She knew what she was doing, this was nothing new to her.

But The Way She Made You Feel Was All New To You

[number1villainstan]

I just saw Dune Part 2 (2024) with some friends so here are some Thoughts i guess

I feel like on the whole these movies are trying to either downplay or cut out a lot of the misogyny/sexism in the book, although Herbert's view of gender roles is so pervasive in the book that it's hard to change without completely changing the worldbuilding (the Bene Gesserit especially) and/or certain characters and getting second-order effects that weaken or change the main plot. But they did a good job at least making it much less in-your-face and offensive than in the book. One of Chani's lines is about how "men and women are equal" in the Fremen, and while I don't really think that's supported by how the movie depicts Fremen I can see and respect where they're coming from

It's still a very male-dominated movie, but it's honestly pretty faithful to the book, and like--what are you gonna do? It's Dune. You can't exactly just genderbend Paul and get the same story, at least not when the Bene Gesserit are still what they are

wait now i'm thinking about an AU where the Kwisatz Haderach turns out to be a trans man. ideally you'd get both the canon critiques of white savior mythos/the Messiah trope and a deconstruction of the sexism and strict gender roles of the society of the Dune universe. also ideally you'd get a whole bunch of other queer characters in the same AU. you could also do an AU where the Kwisatz Haderach/a potential Kwisatz Haderach turns out to be a trans woman, or even nonbinary, but i feel like those would make for very different stories cuz AGAB/ASAB seems to matter like A Lot in the Dune universe

the movies did manage to completely get rid of the homophobic parts of the Harkonnens' characterization though. i did like that

although it was still using disability/deformity as shorthand for Ugly Evil Guy which :/

but enough about the Problematic Elements(TM) let's talk about the actual story

Chani was a lot more politically and generally assertive in the movie than I remember her being in the book, although it's been A While and she was also very much a Main Character who had thoughts and opinions and importance outside of the male characters she was affiliated with (as much as anyone can escape the political black hole that is Muad'dib but) AND! she actively advocated for Fremen self-governance in the beginning! although she didn't keep it up cuz she got sucked into the Paul black hole. this may have happened in the book it has been like two years since i read the first book and it was very disjointed reading cuz College(TM). I also liked the ending part, where it was implied that Chani was leaving, on her own, because she was angry with Paul, which implies More Character Development. (Also they didn't seem to do the Fremen polygamy/concubines thing in the movie, which was a good call, i feel like that part of the book was maybe informed by anti-Arab racism)

Jessica was incredible, of course. Love me a good ruthless woman. Her main character trait/motivation was definitely Paul's Mother but her main personality trait seems to be incredible ruthlessness. there is no madonna/whore complex to be found here no sir

(i may be wrong about that part but eh)

And of course the Harkonnen Blood reveal. the story definitely sets up Atreides as The Good Guys (fair, just, merciful, looking out for and caring about the people under their rule) and the Harkonnens as The Bad Guys (cruel, unjust, power-hungry and traitorous), which makes the reveal that Jessica and Paul have Harkonnen blood an incredible symbol of Paul's corruption arc. He goes from "I must do anything possible to avoid the holy war" (the Atreides way) to "CONQUER ARRAKIS AND ELIMINATE ANYONE WHO STANDS IN MY WAY" (the Harkonnen way) over the course of...technically years, in the book, although that wasn't super well communicated in the movie I feel--in the movie it was only months, cuz Alia hadn't been born yet by the end. And right before we see the worst of it we end up learning that Jessica, his mother, was a daughter of Baron Harkonnen. Jesus fuck.

there's definitely some Not Great elements about using ancestors/blood to determine morality but still

princess irulan was introduced! as an independent character and actor in her own right oh my god! although she still falls prey to the sexism infusing the original material

the dune books (at least the first two) are in this weird state where there are very strict and specific roles/walks of life that female characters are allowed in (domestic/family life and religion) and men dominate Everything Else and nobody every questions that, not to mention the whole thing about how apparently even the very female religion/psychic field is supposed to be dominated eventually by This One Man who can do it better than all the women, and yet all of the female characters are well-developed and feel like people. ykno aside from the complete lack of protest in being shoved into a sexist role

anyways irulan got more development than i remember from the books, i loved that, and that we got her POV too. these movies are really working to uplift and spotlight the female perspectives that were often somewhat sidelined in the books and i love that

also stilgar's (blind?) faith REALLY came through which i liked

overall, yeah, the movie was great. it's very faithful to the spirit of Dune while addressing some of its flaws/datedness--it understands what its message is and what it's saying, and the way it's constructed really hammers home the critiques of imperialism and racism the original was built on

I think this is gonna end up a trilogy, based on only the first book, and it very much seems like the third (and final?) movie is going to specifically focus on the war against the Great Houses after the Emperor falls, which iirc was kinda glossed over in the book/between Dune and Dune: Messiah. I can't wait to see what they do with it

[f1ghtsoftly]

my head is scrambled but in Kate Manne’s “The Logic Of Misogyny” she put to words something I always, always knew was true.

Most of the time Men don’t hurt women for no reason, they punish women who assert themselves/their personhood. Misogynistic violence is a punishment, it’s a form of conditioning to get women to behave submissively towards men. To punish women for existing in public without male protection. To punish women for daring to think her intellect, athletic or artistic achievement could come before her sex.

I don’t present super femme anymore or hang around men outside my family basically ever-but when I did I was frequently targeted for sexual assault, usually by men who were frustrated they were attracted to me but couldn’t have me. They felt like I was taunting them-but asserting my right to exist as someone they were attracted to/without any sort of male protection or a male protection that didn’t involve sexual favors/submission. That wasn’t an accident, I’m sure if I meekly cowered behind a big boyfriend, I’m sure if I stayed inside, I’m sure if I didn’t assert myself as extraverted, intelligent, funny or charismatic those men would have left me alone-but that would have meant hiding myself from the world, hiding myself from other women and to me that was a bigger loss than a ‘lil danger. I made choices as a young person that I knew with certainty would bring me in closer proximity to men who wanted to hurt me, I decided that living a freer life was better than living a safe one. I don’t necessarily regret my assessment of patriarchy, I am sad that the price you pay for being an independent woman (in a social sense) in public is assault. I don’t blame women who think their safety is more important than making a statement. I’m sad for us both. I’m grateful I was able to find feminist communities because victimization isn’t just something casual you can shake off, even if it feels like men constantly target you/women in general.

Assault doesn’t just roll of your back either. It hurts. In the moment and for years afterwards it hurts. It’s always senseless. Always dehumanizing to the extreme. Always enraging. Always profoundly violating. Always a shock. I struggle to reconcile what I know about rape with what I know about people. I know people can be cruel, unthinking, insecure. I don’t know how someone can plot the rape of a friend or a stranger who has done nothing to deserve it. I don’t know how men can secretly tape their lovers, manipulate a young woman into sex she doesn’t want or do any of the things men do consistently or routinely. I don’t know how a boy could look at the face of his too drunk friend and go “this is my opportunity to have my way with her” instead of putting her to bed. Carelessness, thoughtless is easy to imagine. Conscious cruelty is not. Men know what they do and they either don’t care or like it.

I’m crying in a park in my Dad’s pickup truck. “There are worse things than this, you didn’t die-you’re alive” He says “this wasn’t your fault, I just want to keep you safe and what happened to you isn’t something I can control even though I wish I could”. “I’d feel better if you lived in Austin, because their self defense laws are better, there are lots of gay people there too”

He makes me laugh. I won’t move to Texas. He’s right, it’s not my fault, and helping me get better at self defense helps him feel like he can do something and while self defense does help-it’s not a perfect strategy. The misogynist’s prerogative is to snuff out the life force of the woman he interacts with, the only way to stop him from trying to do that is to become apart of the living dead. Even then, he’ll get your corpse.

There are worse things than rape in this life. A woman alive is better than a woman dead. I guess, but what life is it when constantly forced to battle for your right to live? When at a moments notice you can be filled from the inside out with death. Rotted from your insides out. I wish New York would let me have a gun. I wish I could make men afraid and polite in my presence the way I feel afraid and polite in theirs. I’m so tired of this.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Off the Page 2

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: skinny!Steve

Part of the Bookstore AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You take a page out of Maria’s book and sleep on the train. The night at the hotel wasn’t long enough. By the time you ate, you were too tired to enjoy the fancy tub and your alarm woke you well before you were ready. As your stop comes, you’re still groggy and barely ready for your evening meet and greet. 

Isn’t this the dream? Running yourself ragged as a bestselling author? Seeing all the fans who love the words that you wrote? Who see themselves in the characters you created? So much a dream that you feel as if you’re falling asleep again. 

Wake up! You splash water over your face in the bookstore bathroom. It’s not glamourous. You have the small space to refresh before you face the masses. You hoped for a smaller crowd given the time of day and the lesser known location. How wrong you are; you can hear the buzz of fans through the walls. 

“Hey,” Maria enters without knocking. She’s like that. You and your agent have gotten rather cozy in those last weeks. A bit too much at times. “Almost ready?” 

“Yeah, sorry, I... is this blouse okay?” You ask as you touch the satin, patterned with violets, “I don’t even know why I bought this?” 

“It looks fine,” she assures, “you’re not a writer if you’re not at least a little eccentric, right?” 

“Oh, and what about book agents?” You challenge, “are they all so stylish?’ 

“Of course. We’re the face that sells the tour. All you have to do is smile and sacrifice your hand to carpal tunnel syndrome,” she teases, “just you wait until the interview. That's the heavy lifting.” 

“Interview?” You check yourself one last time in the mirror. 

“Didn’t I mention? The local station wants a sit down before we’re off tomorrow,” she explains, “I said yes. It’s a decent check and good business. Any publicity is good publicity. Publisher signed off on it too so... can’t back out.” 

“Oh, and you were going to tell me when?” 

“Right now,” she shrugs, “come on, your adoring fans are waiting for their elf queen.” 

“Oof, don’t,” you cringe, “you make it sound so lame.” 

“If it was lame, you wouldn’t be here,” she asserts. 

“Suppose you’re right,” you pack your things up into your bag and shove it in the corner. “Alright, I’m ready.” 

You follow her into the hall and through to the main area of the bookstore. It’s been closed early for the event, a meet and greet exclusive to those who claimed the limited one hundred tickets for sale. Each ticket includes the cost of a free signed edition and bookmark. Funny to think you’d once been on the other side of one of these things. The eager beaver reader aspiring to be the star author. 

As you come into sigh of the audience, they cheer. You’re still not used to that either. You wave and smile out at them. The moderator, an employee of the bookshop chain, calls for their attention over the microphone and introduces you. There’s another softer round of applause. 

You take your seat on the stool and let out a breath. You start with the reading. You try not to do the same chapter, instead cycling through your favourites. Some you even know by rote now. 

Then comes the Q and A session. You know all the answers. You find it’s always the same questions. Besides, you created this world, these characters, if there isn’t anything written, then you get to decide. 

A group a giggly women finish asking their questions about the ‘rumoured’ sequel to which you give your PR friendly deflection. After them, you wait for the next person to appear. There’s some scuffling at the microphone as they lower it. You wait patiently and smile at the slender blond man. He’s vaguely familiar. 

“Hi, um, my question is, whether Emeris is truly the promised knight or if he was just in the right place at the right time?” 

You nod as you listen, your thoughts whirring. It’s not an entirely out-there question. It isn’t what he’s asking that gives you pause. You swear you’ve seen him before. 

“Well, we can’t know for sure. I like to think of the promised knight as not a specific person fated from birth but rather a possibility for all. The promised knight is the one who can step up in that time of need and do what it is needed,” you explain. “I hope that makes sense.” 

The man doesn’t speak right away, himself stalling before he can respond, “yes, I guess it does. Thank you.” 

He lingers at the microphone for a moment as he watches you. He clutches a worn copy to his chest tightly. That’s familiar too. 

Strange. You're sure there’s lots of people who double dip. You have to admit you did it once yourself. Sometimes you just need that thrill.  

The blond man steps back and lets the next person ahead of him but he doesn’t go far. He stays close to the queue of people and you feel him staring you down. Everyone is watching you but his gaze just feels so much more intense. You do your best to focus on the person at the microphone. 

Several others ask their questions or just give their praise. The man remains. You can’t shake the sense of him. He’s like a shadow. You don’t know why you’re so aware of him. 

Finally, you finish up and it’s time to announce the special prize. It’s a raffle set up by ticket number. The package isn’t anything special; a collector’s edition, a mug, and some pens that look like quills. The moderator brings up a box filled with slips and you reach inside. You read out the number and the crowd mutters. 

“Me,” a deep voice rings out, a hand popping up from lower down. The blond man steps forward and waves his ticket, “it’s mine.” 

Strange coincidence. You keep your smile plastered on. You don’t need another Maria lecture about your tired moping. You’re handed the prize basket and you carry it down to meet the man. 

“Congratulations,” you say as he meets you at the lip of the low platform. 

“Thank you,” he beams up brightly, “it’s nice to see you again.” 

You try not to show your surprise, “yeah, uh... you too.” You don’t know what else to say. You don’t remember exactly where you saw him and definitely not a name; you hear too many of those to keep track. 

“Really?” He breathes. 

“Er, enjoy your prize. Thank you so much for coming.” 

“Of course. Always. Anytime,” he avows shakily. “’To you, my queen, I bid my blood and breath.’” 

You hesitate. That’s from the book. Emeris proclaims it to the elvish protagonist on her quest to reclaim her stolen homeland. It’s flattering yet slightly unsettling to have it recited to you. 

“Have a good night,” you say gently and turn to walk back across the platform. You’re tired, you need to get out of here. 

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 4 Premium Story

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

For as long as they live, humans will carry many sorrows and regrets in their hearts.

But many can go about their lives as if there’s nothing to worry about because they try to forget the pain in their hearts.

Because they face it and instead, try to think only happy thoughts— 

Kate: I’m…frustrated…by how weak I am.

Roger: Last question. Kate, what do you want to be?

Kate: I…

Roger digs out the sediment that’s piled up in my heart.

Emotions that I’ve held back this whole time gushed out like water overflowing from a broken faucet…my ears burned and tears began spilling down my face.

Kate: Strong…I want to be strong. Because I…don’t want to hate myself. Besides…life’s too long to live in despair.

Roger: …O_O Pfft, hahahahaha!

Kate: Eh?

He suddenly burst into laughter and I just stared with tears.

Roger: It’s nothing. You just look so cute talking while crying so hard. C’mon, show me more of that.

(Just a second ago you were listening to me in earnest…!)

Kate: Laughing at someone while they’re crying is so inconsiderate!

Roger: Sorry, sorry, don’t get mad. You’re cute.

Kate: Cute?

(Geez, what was that just now!)

(Persuasion? Brainwashing? Roger got me to speak my thoughts, but…)

Even I wasn’t naive enough to be manipulated by superficial words like “cute”.

Kate: That doesn’t make up for the fact that you were laughing at me!

Roger: Haha…You’re not convincing anyone with your barking when your face’s all wet from crying like a baby.

Kate: I wasn’t crying like a baby. I was weeping.

He laughed again at my response.

Roger: Alright, I get it. As a reward for your honesty, I’ll help you fulfill your desire to be stronger. Kate, do you know what’s the most important part of fulfilling your desires?

(It’s unfair that he’s looking at me with serious eyes again…)

Kate: What?

Roger: Forward planning and setting goals, or making a roadmap. By the way, a roadmap represents progress.

(...Somehow we’ve become business-minded)

Roger: So I thought up the “robin growth map”.

Kate: …Growth map.

(I don’t trust it)

Roger: What’s with that unamused look? I took a page out of Victor’s book because I thought you’d cry with joy.

Kate: It felt out of place coming from you. But thank you for trying to be considerate. So, what is this “robin growth map”?

Roger: You’re my dogsbody* now

Kate: Even though it’s true…I hate hearing you say it.

Roger: When I think you’re growing into a stronger, better woman, the map will gradually advance. In other words, you’ll rise to another level.

Kate: What do you mean…level?

Roger: Simply put, the 5 levels are dogsbody* -> pet dog -> assistant -> partner -> lover.

Roger drew a stair-like diagram in the air with a hand.

Roger: Of course, this will include generous step-by-step guidance from yours truly.

(In other words, Roger’s going to make me a stronger, better woman?)

Kate: I think the growth map will definitely be effective because having goals is good. But I don’t get how the last level of lover is related to getting stronger…

Roger: The answer’s simple. It’s because I like strong, good women who can think for themselves.

(So it’s just his preference?!)

Kate: That’s one-sided! Why should I grow into your type of women? Besides, if I do grow into that kind of woman…you falling for me would be a problem!

His eyes narrowed suggestively at my assertion.

Roger: Oh? Why would me falling for you be a problem?

Kate: My goal is to safely complete my job as Fairytale Keeper and return to my old life. I have no plans on falling in love until then.

Roger: You’re so serious. It’s simple. If you did grow into a strong and good woman by following the robin growth map, I’d be so in love that I’d want to call you my lover. But if that time comes and you have no feelings for me, then dump me.

Kate: Huh?

Roger: Wouldn’t it feel better after I’ve pushed you around for so long?

(W-well…)

To be honest, it’d be refreshing.

Kate: I…think so.

Roger: You can brag to Crown that you’re a strong woman who dumped me.

(brag…)

~~

Victor: To make Roger beg on his knees, what a magnificent Fairytale Keeper you are!

Elbert: …Cool.

Ellis: Are you happy now that you’re a stronger, better woman?

~~

(What do I do. That actually feels kind of…I mean really good…)

Kate: That sounds really…great.

Roger: Kate, are you gonna do it or not?

Kate: I’m gonna do it! I’ll follow the robin growth map to get stronger.

Roger: Mm, nice answer. Then it’s settled.

(If I work hard hard until Roger recognizes me as his lover, then I’ll have become stronger than I am now)

(Hm? Wait…)

~~ Flashback ~~

Roger: However, I believe that romantic love doesn’t exist in this world. What you call romantic love’s just a dysfunction of the brain or a misunderstanding caused by sexual desire.

~~ Flashback end ~~

If what Roger said was true, then Roger would never have romantic feelings for me.

(How can I get recognized by someone like that?!)

Kate: Hold on! I can’t agree to being recognized by you.

I grabbed Roger’s arm as he was about to walk away.

Roger: What’s up? You agreed just then, but now you’re going through a rebellious phase?

Kate: Roger, didn’t you say the other day that romantic feelings don’t exist? How can I get recognized by someone like that?

Roger stroked his chin as if realizing the contradiction.

Roger: You do have a point.

Kate: And I finally got motivated. So I can’t accept unattainable goals!

Roger: Oh, are you gonna teach me about romantic feelings then?

That smile was really provocative—

(Huh? Damn it…)

I realized I fell into his trap.

But— 

Kate: Okay. I’ll teach you what romantic love is!

My competitive nature overrode the intimidation from Roger’s provocation.

Roger: Hmm, you’re confident that you’ll make me fall for you.

I was regretting my words when Roger’s grin deepened.

(This man’s really…)

The image I had of Roger being a sensible, mature older brother completely crumbled into dust.

Kate: N-not like that. Just how love feels…

Roger: Same thing.

The grin on those wicked lips deepens more.

Roger: You’re gonna prove to me that romantic love exists? Sounds fun, I’m in. Since you brought it up, you can’t take it back.

Kate: Of course I won’t. A woman doesn’t go back on her word.

Roger: Hmm, good. I like confident women. Oh, right. I’m known for being a gentleman and kind. I’m gonna give you a useful tip since you’re gonna teach me about romantic love. Lend me your ear.

I hesitantly moved closer and he placed his lips by my ear.

Roger: I love crying faces. Yours is no exception.

Kate: W-what are you talking about?

When I thought he was getting closer, a rugged hand grabbed my chin.

Kate: Roger, please let go of me…!

Roger: Not gonna.

I couldn’t even close my eyes with how close his face was.

Even with his lips coming closer, I kept my eyes open.

Kate: Ah…

I couldn’t help but let out a small cry and tense my shoulders.

Because I felt a soft touch near my eyes.

His hot lips made the corner of my teary eyes feel cooler.

Roger: …

When I looked up and saw Roger staring right at me, I hurriedly looked away and felt his lips again.

Kate: …

His lips touched my wet lashes and then his tongue lapped up a tear before he pressed his lips against my eye again.

(If he like crying faces…then does he like to taste tears too?)

I had no clue what was going on in Roger’s head.

But what I understood less was what was going on with the throbbing in my chest.

Roger: Bon appétit.

(...Bon appétit?)

At that moment, I came back to my senses.

Kate: D-don’t just go taking things without asking! I didn’t mean to let you do that.

I pushed him back as hard as I could and Roger’s shoulders shook with laughter.

Roger: Aw, too bad. I was so close.

Kate: You weren’t close in the slightest!

Roger: Really? You looked like you were enjoying yourself that I thought you’d cum**.

Kate: Wha?!

When Roger looked at my silent face…a gurgle came from my stomach.

Roger: Haha, looks like your stomach’s feeling better. Let’s go eat.

(Waa, it was embarrassing, but my stomach might have saved me…)

If I didn’t say anything, he would’ve noticed how flustered I was.

Kate: Um…let’s go. I’m hungry!

Roger: Oh yeah, there’s this delicious ice cream shop around the corner that Ellis told me about.

Kate: Oh, if it’s from Ellis then it must be right since he always knows the best restaurants. I want ice cream! Let’s go, Roger.

When my eyes lit up, Roger’s shoulders shook with laughter.

Roger: Pfft…Alright, we’ll get ice cream after we eat. Loser of rock-paper-scissor’s treat.

With that said, Roger started walking away with his long strides.

Kate: Ah, wait for me!

As I followed after him, I thought back to the robin growth map’s conditions.

(What would happen…if I did fall for Roger?)

No one can predict how people fall in love with each other.

Meaning it’s not impossible, but.

Roger: Come on, keep up. How about I hold your hand so you don’t get lost.

Kate: I-I’ll pass!

Roger: You sure? You’re so cold. Aren’t you supposed to teach me about romantic love?

Kate: I said I’d teach you the general idea of it, not have you fall in love with me.

Roger: Yeah, sure. Yapping after crying, you’re so restless.

Roger and I falling in love— 

(Nope, not possible at all!)

-

*Am I keeping dogsbody? We’ll see. We got options: errand girl, chore girl, runner, gofer

**If you’re going to write iku or ike in katakana, I’m gonna assume

[strawberryblondebutch]

PWHL/NHL Comparison: Aerin Frankel

Hello everyone and welcome back to the latest installment of my PWHL/NHL comparisons. Today, we'll be looking at everyone's favorite Green Monster, Aerin Frankel. A couple disclaimers before we get started:

While some people don't like making cross-gender athlete comparisons because women should be their own players, not "the female [insert guy athlete]", I think these comps are useful for someone getting into the PWHL. Plus, I have fun with them!

I have a unique perspective with this one, having played with Frankel in net behind me and having scrimmaged against her (which, yeah, was no fun for me as a playmaking skater...)

That being said, I was never a goalie. Well, maybe once in peewee, but I was so bad at it that they said never again. My best analysis will always be for centers, because that's the position I know inside, outside, and upside down.

In some ways, it feels unfair to try to make a Frankel comparison, because she's spent her whole career cultivating her own unique style, and there's not going to be a perfect fit in the men's game. That's what makes this a fun thought experiment for me.

Let's talk first about size. I reference size a lot when I talk about playing style, because your height and weight impact your momentum on the ice. Megan Keller uses her weight to disrupt her opponents' puck-carrying. Casey O'Brien's smaller size gives her better acceleration and agility when setting up plays. With Frankel, the scouting report on her had two knocks against her. The first was that, playing for an elite prep school, she just... never had to face that many opposing shots (which is funny when you look at all her playoff saves this past season). The other was her height. At 5'5", she's on the smaller end of WoHo goalies. The position is getting smaller (Maschmeyer and Hensley are both 5'6"), but you generally want to be at least 5'9" to start in net.

There is such a thing as being too tall to play goalie. Sure, you block more of the net, but one of the things Ivan Fedotov (6'8") had to unlearn when he came to the NHL was to look around screens instead of over them -- he physically could not see a puck going through the five-hole. But for the most part, common wisdom is that you want to be pretty big - both tall and wide, because that gives you a longer reaction time to block the puck. The less space you take up, the more on target your movement has to be.

Frankel's solution to being small? Getting aggressive. She moves faster and more assertively than almost any other goalie. She positions herself way up in front of the net relative to her taller peers, because that gives her more time to set up and cut off shooting lanes. Where she intercepts the puck is farther from the net than her friend Abby Levy, who's 6'0". One thing other goalies have noted is that Frankel doesn't set up based on the puck: she sets up based on stick blades. The move she's anticipating is a half-second before most goalies. It's actually a similar mechanism to baseball hitters' timing: hitters read the pitcher's arm movement rather than the ball itself, because if you're tracking the ball, you're already behind.

So, who in the NHL has also fine-tuned their reflexes to make up for their smaller size? That would be Juuse Saros on the Nashville Predators.

(sorry, no fun graphics, JFresh only makes them for skaters)

Saros is generously listed at 5'11" and 180 lbs, making him the only goalie in the NHL this season under six feet. And yet, during the 2019-20 season, despite having the smallest target, he had the highest percentage of pucks strike him in the chest. Like Frankel, it's not so much that Saros is faster than his peers: it's that he made a conscious decision to move more and anticipate plays faster because he had to. Ann-Renee Desbiens (5'9") is just as active in the crease (some would say too active), but she also has the luxury of sitting back and letting more plays come to her.

Both Frankel and Saros have pucks hit them in the chest, which common wisdom suggests means that they were perfectly set up in their posts. Reporters have also casually said of both of them: they don't make pretty saves, but they get the job done.

What impresses me about both players is that, while their reflexes and movement started as adaptations around their smaller sizes, their ability to process the game would benefit anyone at G, no matter the size. Saros' old teammate Pekka Rinne (6'5") said that he improved as soon as he started putting his shorter teammate's skills into practice. Goaltending has already seen the most dramatic changes in style since its inception, and I wouldn't be surprised if the next change we saw was an increase in dynamism.

(Want more comparisons like this? Throw me an ask!)

[juppl]

𝕳𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉

A Silver x F!Reader Tale (High Fantasy AU) |Prologue| |Part 1| |Part 2|

What if… the boy in your dreams became the princess that needed saving.

Prologue

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Another hot summer’s night graced the Queendom of Roses as a bustling street of music and laughter filled the air in celebration of a wealthy merchant’s return. A loud booming laugh rung through the tavern walls as men and women clinked glasses after just finishing another round of booze. “A good haul—best haul if I do say so myself!” A drunken man cheered as I he wrapped his arm around a tavern girl’s waist. “Aye! How could you call it that, this is an absolute blessing. After this trade, our descendants will be knee deep in our own riches to come!” A rowdy woman chimed in as she playfully nudged the man.

“Exactly! That’s why we can’t just stop here, we’ll travel even further! To the Shaftlands even!” A large bearded man exclaimed as he excitedly pointed to his map that had been laid crossed the table. The group of merchants and townsfolk cheered happily at the thought of even more possible wealth to come their way.

“YEAH!!”

“Yeah..!” A small shout interrupted their celebration causing them to glance around for the source. “Think of all the treasure we could find at the Coral Sea too—!” The childlike voice chimed again, small hands desperately reaching towards the top of the table to help the young girl up, this drawing the attention of the now surprised drunken folk. “(Y-Y/n)?!” The bearded man yelped before hastily scooping the little girl up and away from any drops of alcohol.

“Hey! I wanna look too!” You fussed as you began to repetitively beat at the old man’s arms and chest. A string of groans and laughs could be heard from behind as you were carried away up the tavern stairs. “Learn to keep her away from the adults.” “Be a better father why don’t’ya and keep a better eye on her!” They laughed and teased before returning back to their drinking and crude activities.

“Damn it (Y/n) what did I tell you about leaving your room past your bedtime—why aren’t you sleeping at your bedtime?!”

“I wanna be a pirate just like you! Argh Argh Argh!” You laughed maniacally as you jumped onto your bed while throwing your pillow at your father. He only sighed tiredly in response as he shoved the pillow back your way, knocking your small frame down easily. “I’m not a pirate I told you. I’m a merchant, they’re two different things little one.” “Nope!” You bounced back up again. “Daddy! I wanna go travel with you and get rich too! I wanna see the worldddd with you daddy!” You outstretched your arms to exaggerate the subject, causing you to fall back onto the bed.

The large man could only laugh at your antics, scooping you back up to toss you in the air. “Is that right? My strong little girl wants to become a merchant just like her father!” He happily shouted as he brought you back down to hug tightly. “But being a merchant is hard work, why not stay here at the tavern and help your mother. She needs her little knight to protect her from all the bad men when I’m gone for work.” He sighed as he began to tuck you in for bed for the second time tonight. But to his dismay, you jumped up again, banging your head against his in annoyance. “Oof—!!”

“I don’t wanna be a knight!! I’m not a boy! I wanna be a rich princess in a big castle with lots of food!” You exclaimed as your hands shot up assertively. Your father only hissed in pain, before trying to calm your restless attitude once again. “Not all knights are men you know, some are really strong women as well—“ “But I want to be a princess!” You shot back angrily before being forcefully tucked back into bed… again. “Yes yes, a princess. My strong, beautiful, princess. But to be a strong and beautiful princess, you’ll need all of your energy for the days to come. So, why don’t you head to bed so you can wake up in time for your mother’s big breakfast okay?” You simply nodded, growing a bit more tired as your eyes were feeling heavier with each passing second that went by.

This was alright, you’d get to see that pretty girl in your dreams anyways so it was a win-win in your opinion. Going to bed to see your best friend then waking up to be a rich princess was all you could ask for. Soon, you allowed your consciousness to drift away into your familiar dreamland. “Goodnight little one.”

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

“Princess!” You shouted as you ran towards the young (girl?) inside your dreams. Your small hands took hers in their own. “I missed you! Today my daddy got a lot of money from his work so now we’re gonna be rich!” You exclaimed as you basically bounced in joy. The other little child could only smile awkwardly at your rather eccentric behavior. “Um, that’s nice I suppose. B-But why am I princess?” They asked in a soft tone that seemed a bit shy. You only blinked in response momentarily before clasping their hands tightly.

“Because you’re as pretty as one! And all girls should be princesses because they all deserve to be happy and rich. Especially you, because you’re my best friend!” You happily shouted as you danced with their hands in your own still. A small rosy tint enveloped their cheeks at your explanation as they tried to keep up with your movements. “I-I’m not a girl though…” They whimpered out shyly almost seeming to be embarrassed by admitting the fact of their gender. This leaving you stunned and absolutely shell shocked.

“You’re not a girl!? B-But you’re so pretty! Look at your pretty long silver hair! And your pretty eyes! And you’re shorter than me too!” You frantically tried to make reason of the situation, mostly to yourself. Now knowing that your dream friend that you’ve been seeing for a while was in fact NOT another little girl left you embarrassed yourself. The little boy huffed at your reasonings and swatted your hands away, “my hair isn’t that much longer than yours, a-and my father says that I’ll grow up to be a strong young man that’ll be taller than him!” You scoffed at his claims, thinking it impossible on how this short boy could ever surpass your own height now. “Yeah right! You’re as dainty as a girl, calling you princess wouldn’t be a stretch even if you are a boy.” You teased which cause him to flare his cheeks up a bit. “Yeah well at least I’m closer to being one than you! You look and act even more like a boy than me! No way you could be a princess.” He huffed in response, little to his knowledge this shattered your world and sent you into a downwards spiral…

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

“(Y/n)!! Come down and help me, stop hiding away in your room so late in the morning!” Your mother called out for you as she tried to handle the busy tavern’s morning rush. You begrudgingly dragged your feet down the steps, earning a few laughs and teasing comments at your drowsy state. “If it isn’t sleeping beauty, or might I say sleeping burly with how much of a man you’re looking today.” Your older aunt Rosemary cackled at her own joke, as if finding herself the most amusing thing around here. “Leave her be, you’re just going to upset her already tired mood.” Your mother frowned as she bumped her sister with her hip while she passed by. “Yeah when are you going to stop with the man jokes, don’t you know they get old after the first three times?” You grumbled back as you grabbed at any random booze you spotted first.

“Really?! Drinking this early? You haven’t even eaten anything yet!” Your mother howled in disbelief, clutching her heart as if she were in pain. She was always one for the dramatics, but caring nonetheless. “It’s fine, I’m just a little hot. Need something to cool me off.” But to your dismay, the bottle was snatched right from your fingertips leading to a long sigh. “Alright alright, I’m eating see. Bread, in my hands.” You said tiredly as you grabbed at a slice of toast from your aunt’s plate. “Good, then help me take some orders. Customers are coming in by the minute.” You responded with a hum as you took more off of your aunt’s plate, not as if it mattered to how she paid more attention to her mug of booze. “Best get to cleaning too, I’ve seen that one hogging that table as a bed for quite some time.” Aunt Rose gestured towards a small table that was surprisingly occupied by only one man. Poor thing probably already got robbed by now.

After scarfing down one last egg, you tied your apron tighter around your waist before making your way towards him. “Hey we don’t give naps for free, you want a bed you gotta pay for one.” You scoffed as you nudged him with the end of a broom. To no avail did he seem to wake up or stir though, weird, was he dead? Curious, you gently rolled him to the side a bit before jumping back from a startled yelp. The cloaked man that was once sleeping jolted violently from his slumber and yelped in surprise from being moved so suddenly. His shocked aurora eyes meeting yours in the process. You thought they were… pretty?

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

Can’t even lie man I’ve been offline all day and i immediately went to your blog to read your takes on the session and Pearl n gem n co. after watching some wild life. Thanks for having the best takes lol

genuinely, it’s an honour. crazy to me that anyone would come to this blog for good takes, they never make any sense and i’m always suspiciously resentful towards c!scott. i’ll take this opportunity to lay out my gempearl thoughts as well

first of all, it drives me insane the way pearl usually goes along with whatever scott and cleo says, but the only thing she consistently, and has repeatedly, contradicted them on is that she’s been antagonising gem. in fact at the start of the session scott poked her about it again and she laid out a short monologue to assert that his claims were invalid. funnily enough she goes back on this a few seconds later saying that “i’ll make her have a reason to hold that grudge” which honestly is not helping her case. however if gem can make vague threats about impulse i don’t see why pearl can’t do the same. women’s wrongs and all that.

and then after that scott tells impulse and pearl to apologise to gem and joel. again, it’s a bit odd to me how they keep harping on this bit, but every time they do, all they do is scold impulse for rightfully constantly accusing gem over the cows, and then impulse apologises, yet pearl is still implicated (for NOTHING). pearl did protest this point earlier that she was “just existing”, scott counters that “i don’t know what you’ve done but you’ve annoyed her”, so “keep your distance”.

and to think that the argument only happened because scott made a throwaway comment about a “request” he had for pearl if she wanted a life from him. i feel like he meant it as a funny aside and expected pearl to just shut up and take it, but pearl never shuts up and takes it so that’s the problem there.

also, on secret life: pearl argues that she was right to ally with scar, which like, okay, fair enough, but scott says that “it takes time” and that “look we’re together” i’m not sure why he’s under the perception that GGG is in anyway functional or healthy considering he himself is trashtalking impulse and pearl with gem geminitay (ok sorry i’m just salty over him being buddy buddy with gem). at one point cleo goes “we have to be enablers” (lowkey incorrect because pearl hasn’t done anything, you can’t enable someone to just do nothing, but i appreciate the sentiment) and pearl just starts. throwing eggs at the ground. really funny out of context.

now for the actual gempearl interaction (we get like one and a half per episode i’m actually starving). they’re so obsessed with each other. trust me i said so. pearl beelining to gem to say “hi gem! :D” and gem beelining to pearl to punch her and say “go home pearl” oh they make me ill i feel like they’re just constantly on each other’s minds. the problem is that we haven’t gotten a good gempearl interaction because when they’re near each other their allies are also hanging around, so it always ends up with gem getting glazed by scott or pearl getting distracted by bigb or something like that. it’s such a pity because gem specifically went to find the 4Gs’ base but she went to the old one instead of the new one where pearl was hanging around so we could have potentially gotten a 1 on 1 shiny duo interaction this session (i’m not sure about the timeline there) but we DIDN’T because gem’s not talked to the 4Gs enough to know that they moved bases. grrr.

and then gem drops the anger for a bit to encourage pearl to kill grian. i have NO idea what that’s about, i feel like she’s just into bloodthirst in general but what it does remind me of is her trying to convince pearl to kill the ender dragon in SL, coincidentally, when pearl was impulse’s butler. and now she’s encouraging pearl to carry out what impulse wants. i don’t know. maybe her type is murderers and she’s trying to give pearl a chance. or something

anyway as for the other half an interaction where gem finds etho pearl and cleo at her base, gem reverts back to loudly disparaging pearl within earshot. i feel like she’s nailed “ex who really wants you to know that you’re exes”, and pearl getting so indignant about it she can’t even form a sentence for a few seconds is great actually. might be a reach but whether on hermitcraft or life series, pearl tends to stumble over her words a lot when directly challenged by gem, which is probably just because she’s thinking hard on what to say and is sleep deprived half the time. but i find it pretty telling that pearl doesn’t say anything back to gem and just. leaves. it’s very obvious she’s still down bad for gem in a way but gem is intentionally making it very hard for pearl to remain so.

last paragraph. when joel visits pearl at their new base, joel is happy that pearl called his build a car and said she liked it (pearl likes cars fork found in kitchen). so joel and pearl are on good terms, which i expect would lead to interesting dynamics but at the same time joel would definitely follow gem’s lead over maintain that friendship but still his perception of pearl now is positive. so that’s intriguing

song of the day is down bad by taylor swift. trust me guys they want each other so bad