#why cant i just be myself without being judged

[em0dog]

im so violently upset that i cant share the fact that im a therian with the people im close to, esp since theyve had very negative reactions to therian posts theyve seen me come across on tiktok and ive had to just fake laugh and say its a weird childhood phase fully knowing its not and having to hide my most authentic self now that im an adult

[babehog]

😮‍💨 the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

[widevibratobitch]

.

[snekdood]

i really try to understand why my fellow progressives are so avoidant of actually introspecting on why they think its still cool to bully. im sorry but thats just an inherently conservative thing to want to do.

[manie-sans-delire-x]

Thoughts on ASPD stigma.

Even psych professionals often dont comprehend how having CD or ASPD (or NPD or even BPD) is not the same as having "bad person disorder", and they forget that a person without those disorders can be equally toxic or manipulative. ANYONE can be. Even depression or anxiety can contribute to someone being toxic. Drug addicts are known for being highly manipulative and toxic, yet we correctly identify them as the victim and patient who needs serious help. (And you dont even choose to have a mental illness at all, while many addictions start as a choice).

The stigma and defeatist attitude of psych professionals refusing to treat ASPD or see it as impossible leads to confirmation bias and a self-fulfilled prophecy. Even if the ASPD itself cannot be treated, most have co-morbid issues, and a depressed, drug addicted, traumatized sociopath will behave worse than a non-depressed, non-addicted, healthier one. They should focus on other areas and work on what they can. The brain, and life itself, is a system, and making one aspect healthier will make all parts at least a little healthier. Also, they know people with ASPD notoriously do not seek out treatment and tend to reject it, so why not try when someone is willing and take the opportunity to learn what works and what doesnt? Where is the willingness to try? To try challenging their own therapeutic skills? The academic curiosity to learn?

Ive been medically discriminated twice, due to an ASPD diagnosis myself, and due to my own schooling in psych, I know that they straight up teach students that therapy just makes people with ASPD more manipulative. And I'm actually not even denying that, I do think thats true in many cases, but refusing to treat a person with mental illnesses and trauma because they MIGHT become more manipulative in the future is crazy. This way of thinking is not tolerated in any other field- medical, legal. A doctor doesnt (usually) refuse to give treatment, even to a murderer or rapist. A judge cant sentence a person as guilty because they feel like they might commit a crime in future. (And at least committing a crime is objective, while "being manipulative" is subjective, vague, and also not illegal...).

Whenever I work as a mental health professional, I make a point to approach my clients with unrelenting positive regard. I think the best of them even when they're being very symptomatic, even when cursing me out and physically attacking me. I hold the belief that they are trying their best and severely struggling, and I treat every day as a new leaf and fresh start between us. The patient who actually has the illness is the one suffering the most. Its a disorder for that reason, because having it really sucks and negatively impacts a persons life in every category of functioning. No one sane chooses that. If I can do this with an ASPD diagnosis, they certainly are able to.

I think this stigma could be reduced a little by including internal experience and thought process in the diagnosis criteria, or at least discussing it with students, not just focusing on external behavior. This deeper understanding of the psychology behind ASPD may increase empathy and help clinicians see ASPD as a complex, usually trauma-driven mental illness whose presentation can vary a lot between people and that doesnt make up the entirety of a person's personality, instead of just seeing someone choosing to be shitty.

Also I know prison inmates are a conveniently available population to research, but they should really research people with ASPD who are able to keep out of prison and somewhat function in society, and females too, not just violent male convicts. Obviously basing all knowledge on extreme cases and only one sex is going to give a skewed perception.

[happy-ambivert]

Actorgenic - is a system… a. …which one of origins can form due to creating new prsonality, "being" and non-existing person, impersonating, faking identityy+more b. …who faked having "different personalities" "different identtities", not really same as faking being a system! This can be caused by havingn o knowledge what is a system termin are c. …failed tulpamancy which turned into traumagenic system due to specific reasons d. …system who likes wrong terms like "personalities", "alter-ego" instead of alter, headmates. Probably its host which arent respecting their headmates e. etc simmiliar to this above

Actorgenic systems does not have amnesia(only emotional) or have but specific types of it and simmiliar to median system, fakegenic system or impostergenic system by description and meaning, not same experience and origins Oftenly these systems can have currently fronting headmate confused who are they, thinking they are host or main fronter and etc Or host, who is mimic, actor, chameleon or etc role and likes to pretending being other alter and others situaitons which can leadto situation where fornetr is confused who are they and they believes they are THIS alter Or others situations, thats can confuse the system Hosts of these systems dont mind their alters being called one of their personalities athought their headmates would mind, sometimes they are really believes that they are one of their headmates or confused who are fronting right now actorgenic can be traumagenic or endogenic system or both and can also be shortly described plural singlet, not same as median system! They have really chaotic relationships between host/main fronter and headmates and more problems

termin coined by me, flag by me i cant find anything that can describe one of my system origins or multiple possible origins for us, this is probably my personal experience btw some definitions are simmiliar to describe us but can not fully describe us, i just made it easier to portray and just add simmiliar definitions and its still can confuse some can fall under many definitions

colors and term name meaning the first concept is og and it whats first became in my head but then after designing i realised it almost looks like existing flag of gender identity the second i tried to remake, prbly nothing rly changed but i cant really judge this colros is what i associate actors with idk i also have red stripes version the symbol is a moon phases ik its bad prbly at first i wanetd to do mask, but i couldnt find idea for "face" and it would show wrong the symbol, then decided to do without "face" and it looked like shield. i also wanetd to make as "time" and then i made moon+mask version, still not what i wnated symbolize And it wast eh reason why moon phases, the moon symbolise "same, but different" and moon phases are really connected with most of cultures, the new moon and half moon, for example, are same for earth, but not for people beliefs, "same for myself, different for others" its dont really related to real actors and theatre, also dont related to actors(as role for some systems alters)

while writing this i got many problems with having any style and decided to dont tell our whole experience at all :f

btw it happened long time ago and im SURE its one of my reason why my system is formed im traumagenic nondisrodered system also , i have traumas which i dont rememebr(parenst told me)+some traumas i remember

[cafe-smut]

I'm having . . . Angst fic ideas

For whatever reason, royal delegation from Briar Valley visits Sunset Savannah. So our 4 Diasomnia are the main party here. They get there, Leona is there to greet them, as expected. Then the king suggests since they're schoolmates, he show them around. Neither Malleus or Leona like this idea at all, but Malleus is too princely to object and Leona just does it without saying anything. The toue is actually quite good. Lilia and Malleus manage to throw in a few taunts and insults about him being more capable of such a simple task than they'd thought, considering how lazy he is. It's normal fighting for them. The next morning when breakfast is brought, the servants chatter a bit about Leona and laugh at him.

Malleus is mildly surprised to hear such blatant disrespect but it's not bad by any sense and they brush it off. The first day passes but everywhere they go in the palace, there's always quiet whispers and laughter about Leona. Nd none of it is in jest, it's cruel. And kept far away from the ears of the royal family. Except for Leona himself, who is scarcely seen at all by the delegation.

By the end d of the day Malleus is off put in a way that has the trio concerned. "Kingscholar is many things, but he is still their prince and deserves respect for his status and power. Why does he not demand it?"

"Because it would just make it worse." It's a servant who entered the room with a snack for them that answers. "Me and my folks all worked here basically my whole life. It was ok when he was a boy, but when his magic manifested, and he got his scar, everything changed. I'm not a big fan of him myself, but he's a good prince. Not the best, but when he nearly died more than once, when he did used to try to change peoples minds, I cant blame him for not even bothering any more."

"What do you mean?"

"Aside from the assassination attempt that nearly took his life and gave him that scar over his eye less than a year after his magic presented? He's attempted to take his own life more than once. The king only knows of one time. He was quite distraught over it, attempted to make it right and made it so that no one could speak ill of his brother. It only made everyone keep their tongues tight around him and the royal family. Except for Prince Leona himself. Thus, every other attempt has been called cry for attention by the doctors and the truth hidden from him. The advisors of the king and queen know we will keep our mouths shut, what choice do we have? We still have livelihoods and protecting him isn't gonna help us any. He ain't tried since right after the young prince was born anyways, so it's fine." And then the servant is gone. And Malleus is both furious and extremely distraught.

How wrongly has he judged Leona Kingscholar for the results of a life of torment from others? And how has he himself contributed to that without realizing?

[avfrisk]

A long time ago, couldnt find it for the life of me now, i saw this one comic that talked about how, themselves... people always liked them at first for how strange they where, something like that, but as time went on and the novelty wore off, they began to just get infuriated with them... i now see that, in a way, i've seen this happen to me... albight a bit different. lets make this clear, i am VERY mentally unstable, i dont lie about that, i've accepted that. im not normal, im pretty much unable to think normally. but im good at the barebones 'holding myself together', now as some people would know im good at making people laugh, i tend to be quick witted when it comes to humour and can keep the laugh's going alive for a long time... but then, when we actually start getting close, they begin to chip away past me only being a memelord, which is what i appear to be to most people... they begin to see how unstable i am, my mental illness, i tell them about things, my schizophrenia, the different people in my head. they occasionally see these in action, and some people, dont understand. they drift away or they just keep hardassing me until it becomes bland and im back into just being a pseudo-memelord now that i've run dry. at first, they ask questions or whatever, or are apprehensibly understanding, but as these issues pop up over time, they start to see it as a chore. no one has outright said this, but im good at deconstructing how people think, it's a gift, MANY times i've figured out EXACTLY what people are going to say or how they're going to react, rarely am i ever truly surprised. sometimes i say im surprised just to keep it going, but uh... you dont need to hear all about that, point is i can tell it's starting to become just. not worth it to them. i talk to them, 'is there something wrong? do you want me to hide these parts of myself from you?' they say no, nothing is wrong, but i feel them become more exasperated whenever anything happens regarding everything about me... and so, i stop. i type out things, then dont send them. i type entire long message's about how im mentally feeling when someone asks how i am, i ignore them, im pretty sure the person this was with at will never see this but just earlier today i think, someone asked me if i needed a hug, i said, 'i think i just need a moment to talk to you about my mental illness's without being judged and with being believed.' they never responded to that message, going on as if i never seen it. i occasionally think to talk about what the other people in me are thinking, i hear head person 1 say something (they are named, im just not exactly public about it), i hear head person 2 swearing his head off like always. i think of telling the person about it just as a funny remark... but i dont. as of right now, from the many MANY people i've seen over the year's and talked to online and everything: 3. 3 is the amount of people i've met who have let me stay how i am talking to them. those who can actually accept me. those who can 'handle' me. and im not even sure if i've properly told one of them about me before... point is, for the sake of all those like me. dont do it. if you cant handle us, dont lie, if you know beforehand and cant handle it and are just, curious or something. dont... when i finally trust you enough to open up to you. dont pretend you can do it when you know you cant. because i'll know too. i'll know.

(also thank you those who CAN handle me, and have stuck with me, you're probably the reason why i bother trying to keep myself together in the first place rather then letting myself fall.)

[k4txlulzz]

i love saeyoung's emotional side so much i like him being extremely protective of his loved ones and him going feral sometimes (i adore this trait in characters and i deeply relate to it, im also an all or nothing kinda person when it comes to emotions so seeing him like this has been very validating) but its also a double-edged sword for me because lord knows this trait of his can and absolutely has been used against him . . .

i know what its like to feel like an aggressive and violent person for being emotional and it genuinely breaks my heart to think that seven could go through the same (he already is getting this treatment) because it SUCKS TwT

while i absolutely agree that it's cathartic to see seven get rightfully angry at the people in his life who hurt him or saeran, not only is it rarely about HIS own hurt but it is also used against him to demonize him . which pains me

as to HOW its used to demonize him, take a close look at look at how the characters who he is angry towards are treated . v and rika get emphasized with and thats good but cheritz makes them seem pitiable and sensitive when seven finally gets a chance to speak out and by doing that, they affectively leave no room for him to seem *rightfully* upset, they just make him look like a jerk in the specific context and it doesn't matter that me and you don't see him as that, the way the scenes are structured leaves that impression anyway. it ranges from this to extremely horror shit like rika judge ending in v's route where they straight up VILLAINIZE saeyoung. seven deserves to be angry without it being followed up by the justification of the people who hurt him.

for crying out loud, his diabolical, pathetic excuse of a father got a cute little redemption thing while they kept saeyoung as the "angry vengeful twin that is not sweet and pure like saeran so thats why he cant forgive" by MAKING HIM SAY that he is not a good person for it all while there is not a single character to say its wrong to think that.

take this next thing with a grain of salt because i myself have not been diagnosed with anything, however, it gets worse when you remember that he has ADHD and this all may be because of his emotional hypersensitivity and difficulty to cope with stress. i need people to be normal about a canonically non-neurotypical character pleaseee its cool that he's such a scarily capable dude and all but i just wish cheritz stayed consistent and didnt make this trait into bad thing a second after

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Ranks: Miraculous Ladybug Classmates

Thats Right! I am going to be ranking Marinette and Adrien's classmates from my Least Favorite to My favorite.

Rules:

I will be judging based on Bustier's Class. So No Zoe, Kagami, or Marc. Even if they hang out.

Marinette and Adrien will be Excluded from this list (Think of them as Honorary 1 and 2 if included)

I will be using all of the episodes that have come out as reference. And there will be potential spoilers up to Episode 20 of season 5.

This isnt about which classmates are the best or worst. Its about My personal like or dislike of a classmate.

Including Marinette and Adrien there are 15 students. So this will be out of 13.

____________________________________________________________

13th. Sabrina Raincomprix

(She doesnt deserve a gif.)

Yea... after the recent episodes I really cant bring any sort of desire to like you. Oh sure Chloé is cruel and Lila is a manipulator... Sabrina is just a spineless worm that lets others get hurt or even ASSISTS in it. There is a corrupt cop joke here but its too easy. Also even with that she has no personality outside of Chloé Lackey. Chloé wouldnt be able to pull off most of her evil schemes without someone doing the dirty work and sorry Sabrina, thats you.

12th. Chloé Bourgeois

A moment of silence for the wasted Character potential... Okay. So yea Chloé sucks. Granted the season 4 and 5 have gone so over the top with showing that season 2 and 3 were not actually important that it causes massive whiplash. I cant find myself hating her like I can with sabrina. I just pity this character. And that is even AFTER I saw what happened in Derision, though at this point I have no interest in seeing a redemption. The writers could have made her heel turn back to evil more believable IF they did it gradually with more effort. But its clear that there was no effort to do so.

11th. Lê Chiến Kim

This man went from top 4 on my list to BARELY missing the top 10. Just goes to show how much one episode can change one's view on a character. In some ways I actually would say I like him less than Chloé now... but Kim at least did apologize and did say he would make an effort to be better. But MAN, when I found out what he did I was watching Chat noir BEAT HIS ASS ON LOOP. You know I was about to give that boy THESE HANDS for that s***. Derision really shifted everyone's view on this once lovable himbo, now he is a dumbass.

10.Rose Lavillant

I just dont like her design that much. Her personality is the stereotypical bubbly girl. And while she does get some exploration on why that is... its never touched on again. Also I am a touch salty about Migration. Juleka was expecting to hear a confession but WE ALL GOT BAITED AND SWITCHED. Guess the show cant have any girl confessing to another girl unless that girl being confessed to is Marinette.

9. and 8. Ivan Bruel and Mylène Haprèle

So to me these two are basically interchangable in terms of ranking. Ivan is the gentle giant that is misunderstood. Mylene is the soft scarred cat that wants the world to be a better place. If I had to pick, i would say I prefer Myléne more, but thats because she gets more character development.

7. Lila Rossi

So Lila always struck me as a character with huge potential. The problem is the writers have no idea how to write a cruel, calculating and manipulative character without dumbing down everyone else to make her seem smart. Now in season 5 I have found myself starting to like her more. Is it because the writing got better? F*** no, its just been more fun with her in it. She is just clearly having more fun with it, and just seeing how the ridiculous plans somehow work almost makes it funny. Also its clear she is being set up as the next big bad, so I cant wait to see how convoluted the show makes her to make her WORSE than Gabriel. So unlike Chloé whose cartoonish evilness feels like a waste, with Lila it feels more fun to watch.

6. Max Kante

He built Markov. Plus after Gamer he has been a pretty solid character. I also do enjoy his support of his Idiot Friend Kim. Even if Kim doesnt deserve it. Also, he has the best transformation sequence. Boy goes WAY too hard for it. I also just think he is a charming character.

5. Nathanael Kurtzberg

Tomato son. While it took me some time to forgive him for Reverser. He is basically a shipper with Marc and its a fun time. I enjoy their plans and adorable antics. But part of me still misses season 1 Nathanael, wonder if he still had a crush on Marinette. Not much else to add, just that he is fun to have on screen and his english dub voice is still dope.

4. Juleka Couffaine

She has my favorite design of the Classmates. She does develop more as the show goes on, I would say she has the most consistant development of the classmates outside of the top 3 contenders. Juleka is now the lead of Kitty Section, and has some incredible Lyrics within her. She wants to stand out and wants to stop being a wall flower. I can respect her guts and attempts at growing and improving.

3. and 2. Alya Cesaire and Nino Lahiffe

The respective best friends of Adrien and Marinette. They are likely the most known about classmates of the Miracuclass. Well Alya is. Nino sadly doesnt get as much delved into. That being said, both are supportive friends and go to great lengths to help them. Nino is surprisingly the more chaotic of the two resulting in him thinking Chat noir was stealing his girl OR forming a resistance against Monarch. Alya learning her best friend's identity and being her emotional rock. Now I thought I would put Alya higher than Nino, but Nino's charm and antics make it hard to dismiss and so I have them both as a tie. Though they also had some moments (Thanks to bad writing) that make me cringe a bit.

1. Alix Kubdel

The most consistently written character in the entire class. The Time travel hero, a character that in my opinion is slept on a lot more than she should be. While I am not crazy about time travel, I do enjoy Alix as a character. She is fun loving and ready to call people out on their BS, also she gets some great lines. She also shows how much of a supportive friend she is to nathanael, Marinette, Ladybug and Chat noir. Its sad she had to go into the time stream to hide from monarch, but it is still a fun way to send a character off for a time

[borathae]

Chapter 6

HOSEOK BITCH STOP GRANDMA???? THATS A STRETCH AND KNOWING U ARE AN ANCIENT BEING, DAMN I-

Hoseok stumbles, colliding with Seokjin’s chest. ofc he laughs with his entire body FUCK I MISS HIM WTF NAH NOPE WE WONT CRY WE MUST STAY FOCUSED BROTHER

JIN U BETRAYED ME??? HOW COULD YOU

Seokjin pleads, giving you the biggest puppy eyes that man hates aegyo on command, but watch his ass do aegyo on command if its on run bts tasks 😭 ik he will be the most supportive one if you told bts you are selling feet pics

who calls their fraternity Alpha? What kind of superiority complex do they have?” 💯fr

What are you? Secret vampires or something?” um

So mysterious”, Hoseok says, ok ig

“that man can be an asshole.” WHAT DO U MEAN MY KITTY IS AN ASSHOLE????

dig his metaphorical fangs into your neck and drain you of your metaphorical blood WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? (ik what it means, but 👀👀)

at least she got her sleep and is stress free now, i guess thats a win

JAMAL CHILL?? OOH JIN TELL EM SIS, WHATS HIS PROBLEM?

they are quaking with the desire to punch each other’s faces in. BE LESBIAN, PROBLEM SOLVED YEEHAW

Without me? homie really said that with his whole chest

It’s one of those activities you like to call terribly boring." ??? sir ??

also u know what, i will make it unboring for you real quick, lets go on a pirate ship, that will make u scream

dont judge my man yall, he was giving birth to lie on the pirate ship

WHAT DID TAE TELL HIM???? JAMAL SMILED AT ME??? his moodswings be like ➡️⬅️⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️↕️↔️🔄️↪️↩️⤴️⤵️🔃

joon asks me out to study AAAAAAH 😩

holding his arm before you giggle into it. *twitching eyes WHY SHE GOTTA LIVE MY DREAM AAH BUTTER TAE THOSE ARMSS 🤤😋

“Oh you’re still here?” Taehyung asks STOP HE IS SOO SASSY, GIVE THAT MAN LONG NAILS

making Taehyung chuckle.......... one of his weirdly dishonest ones. tae when jin forces him to laugh at puns (that still makes me cackle)

He is a self-centred peacock PEACOCK DAMN GURL

“Violence is never the answer IT IS THE SOLUTION

ok sorry tae, back to serious mode, IS THAT FORESHADOW TO HIS PAST(mentioned in drabbles)

we are going swing dancing today UWUW

I can’t dance. What if I make a fool of myself?” I CANT DANCE EITHER, LETS GET MARRIED we can swing dance together for shits and giggles and get drunk in each other's laughter and smile, kissing passionately as if we are still in high school.

(omg that was so romantic, lemme just copy that)

did i tell you i still love the way he talks, its so coquette, in a manly way

I am a terrible student. i got exams in a month i have barely studied 😃😭

time does really fly fr it does, you wish it went fast, but when you think back, you wish you could live in that moment one more time

“cake is quite the delicacy oof the fanciness

ah yes old stuff *sighs in delight and coziness

There is fog in the air. It got stuck on the rooftops of the houses. Like a perfect gradient it makes them disappear into a grey nothingness. if this scene was on tv, what color light would it have?? (background lights you know) i was thinking of yellow, since we are talking about antiques

“I guess…” you look out the window for quite some time to think of an answer. You look at the perfectly polished stones of the sidewalk. You watch how the rain builds little rivers in the nooks and crannies. And that is when you get your answer. and the lights slowly becomes cool and blue (blue for calm, unity and stability)

thats a nice perspective of history but for the love of god, i cant stay awake or mentally present during it 😭

With your cheeks burning up like crazy and a big smile on your face you look out of the window again. A swing song comes on the radio, Taehyung turns it louder the tiniest bit. AND THE LIGHTS TURN PINK

“N-no? I-I’m alright”, you stutter. we can see that

Taehyung gets a few (probably painful) steps on his toes, but he doesn’t say anything. MASOCHIST ALERT 😭

stop flattering me im shyyyyy *shakes booty like jimin

this is so cute bye im soo single

“this was like in the movies! Do it again!” SHE IS SOO CUTE UWUW MOVE TAE SHE IS MINE *hits the gym so i can yeet tae out of the way and carry her

HE DID IT AGAIN HEEEHEEEEHEHHE

“Okay but that throwing thing you did? You can’t just do that without training first. Also why are you so strong? It’s inhuman really.” SAY IT SIS

I just think you are beyond precious”BYE IM GONE

Why do an elderly lady and Taehyung know each to such extent that they are hugging as if they were two old friends reuniting? dont overthink, they are just besties, um they met on a idk metro yeah

“it’s been so many years and yet you still look the same. While look at me”, OBVIOUSLY ITS SUS

Perhaps I should have taken the offer back then.” 👀👀

“What offer?” um the plastic surgery offer, anti aging laser. HERBS YEAH IT WAS THE HERBS, SHE MISSED OUT ON AN HERBAL MASSAGE

No way! That’s splendid! Just what you dreamt of!” they are such cute besties pls

It is hard not to choke on your olive, not when your body is burning up like that. i choked on air

How is it?” WHY IS THIS SOO HOT STOP DONT FOLD THAT FAST BITCH NA UH *also folds like a lawn chair in a sec

Taehyung gets off the barstool and closes the distance between you and him. SIR MY MENTAL HEALTH???

you stutter, knees buckling slightly as he helps you stand up. SLIGHTLY???? u mean buckling like a trying on heels

You haven’t told anyone ever but in your dreams you always pictured your prince charming to be good with elderly people and kids. Not that you would tell anyone your stupid fantasies, but you really did picture him like that. we all do, tae is a prince charming *sighs in high standards

“I think you gave that lady proper heart palpitations fr, i got so giddy just reading

And so full of life”, 👀👀👀as opposed to what sir???

Taehyung seems properly flustered for a moment, eyes flitting downwards and blinking rapidly. YES WE GOT THE CUTIE PIE FLUSTERED YEEHAW THIS IS A WIN FOR THE GAYS AND UNGAYS (i love to use this in sentences unrelated to sexuality)

quite sad to think that we are looking at something which has died thousands of years ago ... Well if you say it like that mood sis

it is nice to know that we can look at the past when we look at the stars?” waaaah im in love with her

I always thought of them as a reminder of death”, “or rather hell.” AYO??👀👀

they are still burning bright. Mustn’t it be such a burden to never get to rest?” ooh

*starts playing love maze

“Then you mess up, you mustn’t worry about mistakes you haven’t even made yet” i will try to remember this all the time

because right now I am thinking that this lamp is also alone, surrounded by darkness and thick fog and it should feel so terribly lonely and yet here it is, outshining both of them." 

HOW DO U WRITE THIS WELL?? LEAVE US SOME TALENT CRUMBS

People normally aren’t happy when they are around you and finally experiencing it feels so good.  WHO HURT YOU POOKIE??? IM COMING WITH MY FRYING PAN

this is soo cute i cant, the writing, them, the lamp and the stars gosh, i feel so giddy i wanna spin around the lamppost like a simp does in music videos

Yes darling” Taehyung whispers and there is obvious seduction in his voice. OHO HO HO I SEE U NAUGHTY BOI

this was a cute chapter im gonna sleep soo good with idk grass and unicorns in my dreams

HOSEOK BITCH STOP GRANDMA???? THATS A STRETCH AND KNOWING U ARE AN ANCIENT BEING, DAMN I-

lmoaoao he is so mean for no reason fajsdfja I love him JFAJDFJ

Hoseok stumbles, colliding with Seokjin’s chest. ofc he laughs with his entire body FUCK I MISS HIM WTF NAH NOPE WE WONT CRY WE MUST STAY FOCUSED BROTHER

LISTEN I MISS HIM TOO OMFG I'M IN PAIN

Seokjin pleads, giving you the biggest puppy eyes that man hates aegyo on command, but watch his ass do aegyo on command if its on run bts tasks 😭 ik he will be the most supportive one if you told bts you are selling feet pics

I miss him so much 😭 BUT ALSO LESS THAN A MONTH TILL HE IS BACK OMGMGMG (the most supportive for feet pics would be Tae though change my mind. you can't.)

who calls their fraternity Alpha? What kind of superiority complex do they have?” 💯fr

no but it will ALL MAKE SENSE LIKE LIKE LIEK LIEKEKE LIKEKE

“that man can be an asshole.” WHAT DO U MEAN MY KITTY IS AN ASSHOLE????

the foreshADOWINGNNG (i said too much)

dig his metaphorical fangs into your neck and drain you of your metaphorical blood WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? (ik what it means, but 👀👀)

HELLOOOOOOOOOO

Without me? homie really said that with his whole chest

THE JEALOUSY of this man LIKE

It’s one of those activities you like to call terribly boring." ??? sir ??

i love their sass fr fjadsjf

WHAT DID TAE TELL HIM???? JAMAL SMILED AT ME??? his moodswings be like ➡️⬅️⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️↕️↔️🔄️↪️↩️⤴️⤵️🔃

perhaps something with her metaphorical blood HELLOO

joon asks me out to study AAAAAAH 😩

AAAH (scared)

holding his arm before you giggle into it. *twitching eyes WHY SHE GOTTA LIVE MY DREAM AAH BUTTER TAE THOSE ARMSS 🤤😋

when this video dropped I lost IT

ok sorry tae, back to serious mode, IS THAT FORESHADOW TO HIS PAST(mentioned in drabbles)

mhmhmmhmh

time does really fly fr it does, you wish it went fast, but when you think back, you wish you could live in that moment one more time

YES THIS OMFG the most painful thing ever 😭

ALSO I love how you thought of different colours during the scene <3 I love this energy heheh <3

Taehyung gets a few (probably painful) steps on his toes, but he doesn’t say anything. MASOCHIST ALERT 😭

there are no lies to be found here tbfh

“this was like in the movies! Do it again!” SHE IS SOO CUTE UWUW MOVE TAE SHE IS MINE *hits the gym so i can yeet tae out of the way and carry her

NO BUT THANK YOU i LOVE HER SO MUCH she is so cute frrr

“it’s been so many years and yet you still look the same. While look at me”, OBVIOUSLY ITS SUS

it IS

lmaooao you losing it over Tae existing is so me fr

it is nice to know that we can look at the past when we look at the stars?” waaaah im in love with her

me fr

I always thought of them as a reminder of death”, “or rather hell.” AYO??👀👀

THE FORESHADOWING GOES CRAZY FR ps: i forgot the stars and photography part during this chapter and now im <3 holy moly they were so cute together in the beginning im so soft

People normally aren’t happy when they are around you and finally experiencing it feels so good.  WHO HURT YOU POOKIE??? IM COMING WITH MY FRYING PAN

NO BUT FR

this is soo cute i cant, the writing, them, the lamp and the stars gosh, i feel so giddy i wanna spin around the lamppost like a simp does in music videos

I'M HAPPY YOU LOVED IT SO MUCH HEHEHE 💜💜

[an-avocado-at-law]

(Matt Murdock RP blog ⁉️)

I'm Matt Murdock. A really good lawyer.

Foggy forced me onto this app, he said I could make more friends, not that I really need any, whatever makes him happy.

You need friends Matt! Not just me and Karen! - Foggy

Thank god for screen readers..

(( )) or (( - ooc

((so for people who dont know who matt murdock is, he is a masked vigilante who protects hell's kitchen at night. he goes by daredevil or 'the man without fear'. in the day he is a attorney-at-law with his friend foggy. when he was a kid he was trying to save someone from a truck, but he got hit with radioactive chemicals, blinding him but enhancing his other senses by a lot. (this is why he can randomly just throw away his cane and basically do parkour up buildings in the show lol). with these enhanced sense he can 'see' just not with his eyes (its kinda like echolocation in a way) ))

-

((im still watching the show so im still figuring out how matt acts,, sry if you dont like it lmao. im fucking ass at roleplaying im kinda just putting myself into the character))

((hi!! uh this is a rp blog for matt murdock, matt cant see little details (blog text) very well with his radar sense thing, especially on screens, so he'll be using a screenreader and speech to text for replying (not actually but yk cuz hes blind lmao) ))

((im gonna be open abt being daredevil lmao))

((matt uses he/him and blog admin uses they/he))

((please no sexual asks, admin is a minor.))

((im okay with swearing but if like every two words is you saying fuck then I might not interact 🥶))

((no homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, zionism, etc. here please, its a roleplay blog we do not need to get serious))

((if im missing any info please tell me))

((canon and oc blogs can interact with me, and blogs thst just wanna send asks))

((some headcanons for matt: ))

i think matt is bi,, like some scenes hes so clearly in love with foggy, "your not gonna kiss me" (he was talking to foggy) WHY WAS THAT YOU FIRST THOUGHT MATT?? /pos

he has foggy pick out clothes for him sometimes, they either look like complete shit or it makes him look really good

he secretly wants a dog to help him get around (even though he said he didnt want one to foggy), he probably loves dogs and their silly ways

he WILL not stop bugging foggy abt the time he said grande avocados (that was my favorite scene fr)

he almost said “fuck you, your honor” to a judge one time /hj

(for roleplay) he uses one of those braille keyboards to type sometimes

((okay i might edit this later, so check back every now and then!!))

((run by @overtlyonyx btw))

((have a nice day!))

[stellas-starry-sillies13]

GUYS

okay so update

first if all

im back but inly for a few days cuz im road tripoing soon! 🎉🎉🥳🎊 21 hour drive :’j

second of all I JUST HAD THE BEST WEEK OF MY LIFE

WOOOOOO

im in the crowd there somewhere try to spot me (why am i saying this yall dont even kno how i look)

I LOVE YOU RIVER CHURCH

im having a positive outburst and i cant keep it in

okay so for context lolo my church had a 5 day event specifically for the teenagers and kids of our church and it was so good

ppl cam from all over the world

17000 pre registered

👏👏👏

i honestly wasnt super hyped at the beginning but now that it just ended i miss it alrdy :(

Did i wan any giveaways? No

did i make any friends? No (my fault)

idk its just like

that atmosphere there is like so lively and friendly i cant help but yap about it

i feel like i can be myself there

i can be (somewhat) bold and dsnce and praise without being judged

i wish yall were there

you should come next year

literally pol from all over the world vame

🫵you can be there too

next year i mean cuz it literally ended today

anyway thanks for reading my small ramble

i love yall! <3 moots, expect an ask or two in your inbox

xoxo

[kidemirror-blog]

@mbti-notes

Hi MBTI-Notes, I am 28M. I need help analyzing myself. I have this urge to identify what my MBTI is and my mind tells me that when I find the perfect answer, I will be able to grow properly and solve issues only then… I feel comfort predicting and gathering information (Ni?) even obsessing with this topic (Ti loop?). I read and watch videos to find the truth, to finally find myself. I am restless and also addicted to sweets, gaming, 18+ content, binging tv series whenever I feel overly stressed or bad or just unable to handle things…

I have been in search for my MBTI for 3 years now and started with the 16 personality test from Briggs ended up being ENFJ. Later I became ENTP for 1.5 Years now. But recently I started researching the functions and everything changed, I feel that I have more insight about myself. But the more questions I can answer the more uncertainties arise.

I have been bullies as a teen because of my unique looks and behavior. Also having parents that were immature in their behavior so I learned to be someone else entirely and forgot who I am. Thats the reason why I am trying to learn psychology and the functions, to put myself somewhere and feel like myself but also find the right path into the future.

I have so much chaos in my mind, what is right and how I should be, what should I be doing? I have this burning desire to become something great, to create something great, to finally find what I really want and spend all my energy getting there. But so far there are only contradictions. (Ni without proper Judging function?) 

So many types fit me so that I don’t even know but I want to be sure.

I have some sort of perfectionism problem.

I used to be very nice to people until these experiences from the past kinda broke me. I can’t cry, I feel like my feelings are all sealed up, I don’t feel much empathy towards peoples problems, I know that it is bad what they feel but I just cant connect or be concerned.

For past two weeks I think that I might be Ni dominant, because Se grip seems so much like me. But also Ti grip would be a possibility because my mind gets hyper fixated on processing and finding a solution. 

I behave like a “stereotypical” INTJ, cold and alone, but I know thats not how INTJs are, just to underline stereotypical.

For INFJ I feel like I don’t care about people and their opinions too much and I do not tend to people please (considering that I am mentally not so healthy)

I also think I am using Te because I try doing things efficiently, but I noticed I just don’t like spending too much time on details (lazy?).

I am so stressed because of my job and I feel like I can’t relax or recharge so I revert to physical pleasures.

Please give me some advice. And Thank you very very much in advance!

[this-place-was-never-mine]

this is me.

it's unfair really, that i live in my head the way i do

empathize for her, projecting the loneliness i'm going through 

it's a juxtaposition 

i'm always on some mission

wanting peace and silence

seeking chaos and violence

art free flowing from my hands

notes and lyrics possessing me from various bands

analytics and metrics by day

giving me all the power to have a say

decisions decisions decisions

always executing with precision 

poetic words and declarations by night

in the darkness is where i've always lost the urge to fight

admiring those who can embrace the fall

watching them with glee while being strung up on my wall

they're free 

they're free

but i'm chained to my convictions 

i'm a slave to my own visions

both by day

and by night

i feel too deeply 

love too steeply 

turn cold like a faucet 

turn off like a light switch 

sketching, writing, charcoal smudges all around 

both metaphorical and literal, my dreams, i am bound 

they're vivid and impossible to ignore

screaming at me until i let them out to explore

and maybe they'll turn to ask

never come to fruition, such a risky task

"vulnerability" is a dirty word 

one i say and they think i'm cured

my mind is at odds

i wish i could just move on

stuck in the past, living in the future

one foot in the now, one hand performing a new maneuver 

there and there, but never here

always lost in hopes and fears

did you see my tears?

i wrote them down through the years

they're numbered and few

they were hoping that i expanded and grew

but it's like a tornado 

leaving a wake of bodies and shadows

the shoreline seems clear

let's see if i cant get us away from here

there's some shelter with a roof

i've seen the tranquility, they showed me the proof

get it out of my head and into the world

get it from behind my eyes, i'm just a girl 

i've done most of it alone

whittled my fingers down to the bone

white knuckling life

torn between who i am and who i am in strife

an artist or executioner? 

bleeding heart or revolutioner?

they say "you can be both" 

without realizing it's a heavy hold

because they don't understand 

they're in a sheep clan

speaking of sheep, my soul is black

i stood out all along, but hid in the back 

i preached black and white

but lived grey and picked every fight

in the name of others

in the name of pride that smothers

then i wrote about it in a book

and never gave you a chance to look 

i'm torn in two halves

neither of which have a friend to speak up on their behalf 

always at odds with one another

the type a mother

the type b that won't bother 

hand in hand in public, but behind four walls, always falter

"why can't we all just get along?"

"why can't you both agree on a song?" 

"we're all friends here"

"you're me and i'm you, let's make that clear" 

but a war was declared in the name of loneliness 

one that brought me to my knees to confess

to no one in particular, because only one understands

what it's like to be two people in one skin on this barren land 

but then that one goes off

and your mind won't stop 

dear friend, come back

you're the only one who decodes my shades of black

a secret language i didn't realize you'd learned

but once i did, i was relieved the tide had turned

i get that we grow up and go our separate directions

but having no one to translate my insides is my constant affliction

plug into me and watch the codes run

then write a manual so i'm less of a conundrum 

don't shit talk me when i'm not around

you're the only one who gets me, so sit the fuck down

you don't get to judge me after all this time

after everything i've witnessed from the sidelines 

i hear you, hear me

tell me The Format of our language with glee

he sang "you're gonna be the one who saves me"

"and after all, you're my wonderwall"

and i felt that for you

for you, i would always choose

i won't say your name, i won't say your name

but with you, i've always remained the same

person inside and out

i've been authentically myself, without a doubt

don't ignore me now

instead show me how

how i get out of this place

and maintain who i am with grace

who else knows me better than you?

no one but you can't be my breakthrough

enough about that smoky ghost 

let's talk about right now, my skin, my host

creativity running rampant 

fragility screaming, "speak it!"

but no, i can't

bravery doesn't come secondhand 

what's a fancy word for coward?

pusillanimous and soured

craven and battered

dastardly and devoured

inspired

admired

desired

uncovered

and undiscovered

i am a mystery unto thyself

still lost and searching how i feel and how i felt

then and now, now and then

it comes, it goes on a whim 

today i'm here, tomorrow i'm not

historically, i stood and fought 

now i take to the keyboard

i stood, stunningly floored

a tear in my eye because i was unsure i could do it

chest swelling with pride because i finally did commit

it lived in my head for two years

then clicked together with vision clear

queue the clouds, of the torn halves

one moment of clarity couldn't last on my path

femininity 

masculinity

a push

a pull

black

white

one

or the other

who are you?

who am i?

the type a mother?

the type b that won't bother?

are you in the grey like me?

do you push while they pull, like the sea?

do you get vandalized and criticized because you aren't womanly enough? 

or do you get thrown around and torn down because you're too full of fluff?

they demand that you pick a side, but what if you're both? 

what if you want to figure out who you are and how to live in the grey without foes?

stop trying to make me like you

stop trying to put me in a box, i'll always lose 

let me figure it out on my own

and when i ask you to hear me, show up and leave your tall and mighty throne

i need more

i need more

i need more

i need more

deeper

connection

deeper

conversation

let's talk about why the world is what it is

or why i can hear that note played on the cello and feel sad bliss 

i love the sadness

i love the melancholy 

join me here where grey skies keep me sunny 

understand the black of my soul is what brings me back to life

stop yelling at me like it's wrong and vile, it's up to me what i choose to sacrifice 

let me be who i am

let me see where i stand

let me figure out how to be an artist

let me choose how to free my soul from this open livelihood harvest

i don't want my name on your tongue

i don't want to be part of your evil fun

i just want to be me

i just want to be free

black soul, black sheep

black heart that weeps 

[sparklingself]

hum hi again, i was the anon who wrote about guilt! i wanted to add that EdwardArtSupplyHands wrote a post (Don't Fight Shadows) on Reddit one month ago that is relevant to what I tried to express: "I wholeheartedly believed that I must be “good” before I can imagine myself as good. Before I can accept the lovely things inside myself. How silly isn’t it? I judged myself so harshly. A heavenly day is given to the one who see’s something to love in the mirror. But what a tormenting hell for the one who see’s something to hate and abuse. And so heaven and hell is created by our perceptions of ourselves. I would change my State to something so lovely but then pull myself out of it. I would run back to where I was comfortable. Yes, it was a limiting State but I was used to it. Am I truly enough? I would feel this but ignore it. But in the end, only you alone can truly answer this inside yourself. When you imagine, ask, am I allowed to have this? Only you can truly answer this. Once I started to truly answer “Yes,” with faith, I started to change inside. Even a little faith and quench the fires of doubt. I would wonder, what if I change my State but I fall out of it? What if I feel wonderfully different inside, but I go back to where I just left? My advice is don’t “fix” anything. There is nothing to fix, you are complete. Just get back into the mental State. Yield back into it. Don’t ask a bunch of questions. [...] Remember your brilliance. Try your hardest to remember. It is there within you. I struggled so terribly hard to to accept myself. [...] I came up with every reason to not allow myself the permission to have what I want inside myself. Every reason why I cannot be more brilliant, more kind, more gentle, more loving, more giving. I truly had to stop with all the reasons. When I stopped it, I saw the truth. I was never unworthy, only believed I was. I had faith in that idea of myself. So the idea of worthiness and unworthiness must be thrown out. It is a judgement upon the shadow. Instead of focusing why you cant have this or that, focus on testing it. Test it without judgement upon yourself. You don't need to judge yourself. Test, “Whatsoever you desire, believe you have it and you will.” Don’t read it as “Jesus Christ” the guy said this. Read it as Imagination speaking. Inside here, there is no judgment. There is no interrogation on your worth or qualification. There is no fear. There is only Self. Once you truly see, there is only Self inside, you will feel a deep sustainable peace. I do not know why I grew up in the family I did. But I cannot deny that I can imagine and tested this and it works beautifully. I imagined being free from all their restrictions. Don't question, test it. So if you find yourself leaving your lovely heaven inside yourself and running towards a hell, remember heaven’s doors are always open inside for your return."

i mean, every Edward Art's post is more than worth reading anyway. again, i hope it helps and thanks for helping others with your blog!

❣️thank you