#why can’t I be normal abt this
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it’s been downhill ever since little 7-8 year old me finished the last Series Of Unfortunate Events book. the Baudelaires drowned and anyway i think some things about my person can be traced back to that series
#hashtag never the same 😔#who’s parents were letting their second grader read the series of unfortunate events#series of unfortunate events#series of unfortunate events spoilers#this book might be the reason why i can’t be normal abt Tarsus IV#esp when/after i just finished writing a Tarsus fic
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Does anyone remember how in Jest’s debut performance for the king, there was those slips of paper with images on them?
Well, Cath found one on her person, and guess what image it was. A red heart.
The foreshadowing was right there. It was obvious from the beginning and I still DIED WHILE READING THE ENDING
#i can’t stop thinking abt them#THEY PLAGUE ME#IN MY DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES#the obession came back#(it never left)#heartless#Marissa Meyer#stop cuz the foreshadowing isn’t even subtle#:(#how am i supposed to be normal about this#catherine pinkerton#jest#I read heartless and now IM heartless#I need to express brain rot somehow#why am I JUST noticing that
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now if we all recall my insufferable nature when i saw hadestown expect the same for next for normal mb guys can’t go to the theatre and be sane abt it or smth 🙏🙏
#trying to avoid reblogging major like changes to the show type spoilers whilst ppl still have a chance to go see it#but god i can’t stop thinking abt this show#i need to go again why is it ending :( i should’ve seen it sooner#n2n#next to normal uk#next to normal#emptymilk thinks#musicals#theatre
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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me after taking 25 whole minutes to write out a two-sentence comment under a fic: I dunno maybe it sounds weird and I shouldn’t comment after all….
#“How to sound like a normal human when speaking”#Results inconclusive#fanfic#ao3 comments#will sit there writing out and then deleting all of the things I liked abt the fic until i can’t even remember what I read anymore 😭#IS THIS NORMAL OR DOES THIS ONLY HAPPEN TO ME HELP#I need to tell them everything I liked but I liked the whole thing and I can’t just copy and paste the fic into the comment section can i#“Wow loved this part” followed by the entire fic in quotation marks#yeah i proofread my own comments obsessively to make sure they don’t sound passive-aggressive hbu#sometimes writing a comment on ao3 is harder than writing an entire story#sometimes#writing in itself is a struggle actually why do it do it#“I love writing” (shaking with rage and incurable sorrow)#anyway this is a joke laugh now
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would you prefer to be in a relationship with satoru and suguru or sukuna and suguru?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEE AHHHHHHH i choose toji :3 save me DILF husband :3
ok but omg this is so funny that suguru is the constant in both of these relationships like you know me too well 😭 BUT BETWEEN SUKUNA & SATORU??? that’s tough bc satoru is literally Me personality wise and also i love how cute and whimsical he is but also… my own personal version of sukuna is so my type in that he’s hot & mean… i’m in such a tough spot omg……… for suguru’s sake i’ll say satoru but also. I WANT SUKUNA TOO 😭😭😭 i’m rarely indecisive so this is Breaking me like this is humbling… ok. since i’m a KIND LOVER. i’ll choose satoru for suguru’s sake but in my heart of hearts i love messy bitches so it’s POSSIBLE i’d choose sukuna 🤭 idk it depends on my mood honestly rn i’m in a major sukuna mood so i’d choose sukie but a few weeks ago i was in a major satoru mood so i would’ve chose toru then
but. i would like toji. i will let suguru date satoru and sukuna date uraume so i could have toji all to myself. 🙏🏼
#asks#anon#i think sukie & sugu would be funny but volatile meanwhile satosugu is just giggles and playful fighting#you can’t be in a Normal relationship if sukie is involved NDNDNDNDNDN#but also don’t get it twisted bc if it’s sugusuku they do obviously like each other#i think they right for the other’s honor when the other isn’t around#*fight#like if someone shit talks suguru sukuna is ready to brawl and if someone shit talks sukuna then suguru cuts them w words#they’re both v protective over reader too :3 they love reader that’s something that brings them together a lot#and then they end up talking abt things they like about e/o idk i think they’re similar in terms of hobbies and stuff#so further into their relationship they play fight rather than legit fight#also. suguru rearranges sukuna’s guts when sukie annoys sugu so :3 giggles#in this relationship i believe in hard/soft dom suguru x bratty switch sukuna x sub reader supremacy#sukuna likes getting dicked down by an angry suguru i think that’s why he bothers him a lot jfnfnfnfnfn
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like what does she want me to say 🤩😭🔫
#gonna effing kms i can’t do it anymore leave me alone#i’m not liking the vibes. also a millionth time asking if me and lydia r together. girl#why does it have to be such a thing. lydia’s parents have been more than normal about me going sometimes when they go home or hanging out#when they come into town. why can’t my parents just like chill abt it we’ve never really traveled there except for the eclipse…#i’ve been home by myself plenty and i’m not like my siblings who did have significant others to bring home and take up more of their time#doesn’t mean i should have to do it alone every time. i mean like god fuck i will i guess whatever#abby talks#oh. um. this is my mom btw
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why are all the ppl who draw bsd furries always lowkey freaks?
#why can’t y’all be normal??#sigh#why must all of y’all ship some 15 year old with a 20+ man??#THIS ISNT EVEN ABT A SINGULAR SHIP??!?#they just keep doing it for multiple ones fuck me#the only bongo stray dog furries I can trust are the ones who draw em as warrioring cats#(shout out to the space station ppl … and My One mutual on twt… )#what if I just want to see em as silly animals ?#“hey kite is this about -” YEAH probably idc anymore blegh
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qsmp general assembly is smack dab in the middle of my most important class and the professor will most definitely notice my absence do i skip
#qsmp#gen question#i actually feel so much fomo rn#like it’s so sick and twisted#why can’t i be normal abt it
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i’m just like. so sad LOL me when i want to talk abt my faves to/with someone but they need to have a very specific niche/mindset that matches mine or ill be very upset bc im a cunt and i can’t be open minded but im also possessive so seeing anybody else talk my faves causes me to eat bricks
#egg boils#also i’m possessive over my faves so that’s like double fucking whammy.????#me when someone tries to talk abt mina/narumi (not as a ship i mean as characters) and they have a diff opinion from me and i have to be S#So Fucking Normal. it’s why i’ve stopped interacting with posts abt kn8 in general i just . I can’t .!#holy fuck i’m so mentally ill i haven’t felt this cock and balls in a very long time .#hyperfix makes me happy and productive yayyyyy cons: i see something i don’t agree with and get the urge to end my life real fucking bad#i don’t think i’m suicidal over an animanga btw it’s bc i’m very lost in life rn and the hyper fixation has stopped helping and started#making it worse ! Yayyyyyy i need to#big sigh#i don’t even think a job could fix me. I don’t know i feel very trapped rn#suicide mention
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i hate army twitter lmao someone remind me not to go on there ever
#it’s just sooo 🤢 people literally do not know how to be normal#on the one hand you have ******* truthers acting all smug as if hybe released an official notice#and on the other hand you have people cry typing#and then an even weirder third hand that’s like i can’t wait for all of them to go public w their own relationships#????? i know you’re not referring to him being stalked as him ‘going public’ bc i will kill you otherwise :)#why can’t everyone just mind their own goddamn business and respect the fact that we literally know nothing abt their personal lives#and that’s how it should always be because they deserve their privacy#like even if shit gets found out. LEAVE IT BURIED. DON’T DISCUSS IT. THEY DID NOT SHARE THIS INFORMATION W US WILLINGLY#it’s actually disgusting#anyway don’t send me asks about this i will just delete them#if you don’t know what this post is about just count your blessings and log off lmao#i legit saw someone tweet ‘as a twice fan i can’t wait for an announcement for a tannie to be dating a member of twice’#y’all know that reality is not fanfiction right… like you know that this is not like some real life marvel x dc crossover#just get a life of your own stop being so obsessed w ur faves’ personal lives i BEG#.txt
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so I think I’m in the clear with my kidneys now?? my scans showed other different problems though which is annoying bc I don’t want to deal with more health things 😞
I’m still sick and gonna spend more time trying to get better but at least now it seems like I won’t be going inpatient for my kidneys
#I’m still in pain so I’m just gonna keep resting#they found a couple other things to be concerned abt tho 🫠#idk if the problems are serious or not but if they are I’ll let my friends know#I need to have more appointments to figure out what the problems are exactly#I’m so frustrated right now. why can’t I just be normal. why does my body have to manifest fifty eleventy new health problems#I just spent a long time venting in paragraphs in these tags but it sounded like a repetitive regurgitation of things I always say#so I deleted it 🫠#I wish this wasn’t my life and I had anything else to say#bria.txt
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Remembering that two long-running arcs of the Origami Yoda series regarding Dwight were his classmates becoming real friends with him as they stop seeing him as the ‘weird kid’ and connecting with him as a person, and Dwight starting and continuing to date Caroline, the girl he likes. These arcs present to the (presumably neurotypical) audience, an autistic-coded character as someone nuanced and human, who is capable and desirable as a partner and friend, encouraging the idea of looking past dismissive judgements of strangeness and to try to understand people, and even if you can’t, accept them and appreciate them for who they are.
#I am having thoughts and feelings abt origami yoda agin#because like. those are the major arcs w Dwight-the ones that aren’t kept to one book alone#it’s nice seeing them go from kinda just tolerating Dwight because he’s a similar outcast and they need yoda#to them actually liking him and wanting to spend time w him (see the museum visit when tommy is ditched by kellen for Dwight)#and Dwight never magically changes to become ‘normal’. the closest he gets is when he’s at that private school which is observed as kind of#stifling? to all the things that make Dwight interesting and creative#nah the series goes on and Dwight still stims and gets sidetracked by his special interests either to his benefit or detriment#but none of the kids have a problem with him for it. they get that it’s Dwight and these are the things he does#they don’t have a ton of moments of insight into dwight. they talk but they don’t dissect their conversations to parse out what he means#and that makes their communication of messages a little tricky#but the thing is: even though Dwight doesn’t tell them in a way they understand why say the rib bq is so important to him#or why he stims or what sensory issues he has because they might not have the language#even though they don’t have that passage of conversation clicked up#they accept these things as a part of him. and I think that’s a nice message to send.#maybe you won’t fully understand the people in your life but you should try. and even if you can’t you should accept them. quirks and all.#the strange case of origami yoda#origami yoda series#my post#tscooy
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I need to go to bed I’m just gonna shout a lil
#ice hockey needs to chill the fuck out#I had such a good night tonight!! was ssosososossososososo happy#but afterwards people started shouting in the group chat#and they all have very valid reasons for being angry but my god the us vs them mentality is STRONG#I am concerned abt how much people want to escalate things and how quickly they’re moving to do that#I am aware I am a doormat and a people pleaser or whatever but#I mean for one this is a tense political situation and we don’t wanna burn bridges#(there is no real politics i am being dramatic to be clear)#two clubs. alike in dignity. in fair Verona where we lay our scene#and I am personally managing at least 4 fragile egos that are all highly volatile#as well as an internal divide that’s threatening to cause problems very soon#I also should not be part of this anymore! and yet.#also why are specifically men who play team sports so dramatic when you get them all together#like that’s a whole shitstorm that is so easy to set off#anyway with my club I can’t blame the committee for being dramatic (different way to what I just said they’re not the same people)#bc I sure as fuck was overdramatic which fed into other people ramping up BUT that normally snapped me the fuck out of it#so I tempered the worst of it yknow. but I don’t think this new committee has that#/is not willing to listen to the person who would play that role#anyway if people don’t play nice it’s going to start some actual shit which will be deeply unpleasant for everyone#particularly the people who are in both clubs and do not deserve this bc they’ll be getting it from both sides and theyve done nothing wrong#anyway! bedtime now <3 I’m just frustrated bc the person who maybe would’ve calmed everyone down is out of commission#and I should not and am not willing to have the power to tell people to stop even though I probably still could#it’s whatever. sleep#luke.txt
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finally saw ATSV with my cousin :) on the way out i was talkin abt the lil venom crossover n he was like ‘oh i never watched it what’s it abt’ and i had to try to explain the venom movies like a normal person
#alli says shit#i’ve seen too much nasty (affectionate) shit abt the venom movies to be like#ah this is why i like it#i can’t explain eddie/venom to my normal ass cousin#but when the spot went there i did want to scream just a lil#as normal ppl do#is it still recent enough for spoilers?#atsv spoilers#just in case lol
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Every time I draw Scary internally I’m going she’s not white to ME!!!
#cal rambles#I hc as southeast asian of some kind#why? idk for funsies. i like making characters like me tehe#although I will say I really dig scary that’s like secretly a brunette or blonde#nothin wrong w/ a good white scary design#she’s just not in mine lol#I WILL SAY THOUGH#the one ethnicity hc I get rabid abt is Normal LMAO#I CANT STAND BLONDE NORMAL………#I’m exaggerating of course I don’t have anything out for the artists who draw Normal blonde#but I just don’t like ppl erasing the fact that he’s Latino 😭#yes Latinos can be blonde also but like THINK ABT THE OAK FAMILY METAPHORS …..#the blonde comes from Henry the brown hair from Mercedes#and I think metaphorically the brown hair carrying on is much stronger of a message#ALSO I JUSY HATE THE KIND CHARACTERS ARE ALWAYS BLONDE TROPE OKAY#I DONT LIKE THE WHITE SUPREMACY VIBES#anyways. LOL#also physically can’t comprehend not black Link. I think the fanon hc is so strong w/ that one#i just can’t detach it from the character at all#that’s just who he is
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