#why are you mad at me on a personal level because you have an overdue library book? make it make sense

[teenagefeeling]

ah. almost forgot that i got yelled at real bad by a patron tonight. almost.

[ledgerserious8]

Wrong Person | Bruce Wayne (Bale) X The Joker Ledger X Reader

Warning : Don't copy my writing Don't steal my writing. All rights are reserved for my writing

Genre : Drama Angst Angry Issue Jealousy

Summary : Bruce having Investigation The Joker but it's turned into something else because..

Word count : 3.4k

Bruce walked inside, his adrenaline still pumping through his veins, as he saw the Joker in the interrogation room behind bars, surrounded by Gordon and his teammates

The Joker looked disheveled and angry, his face scarred and twisted from the events of the past night and Gordon shot him a look of satisfaction, and Bruce couldn't help but smile at the sight

It was a bittersweet moment, but one that he knew was necessary and had been long overdue

"So the bat is here" - the joker explained mockingly trying to play fool

"The one and only" - His Batman voice answered back proudly, his shoulders back and chest up, his hands folded together.

The Joker had mocked him several times in the past, but this time, he was the one under lock and key, unable to escape

The table had turned..

The Joker mocked and taunted him, but he didn't care. Bruce was here to do a job and get it done quickly and effectively but Bruce's mind was focused and his goal clear and it's was investigate the clown and bring him to justice

Without the presence of Gordon and the other officers, the room was suddenly much quieter and more intimate as Bruce and the Joker were now alone, faced with only each other’s gaze

The Joker was restrained behind bars, his expression angry and defiant, as usual but Bruce sat across from him, his face emotionless, his eyes searching and observing every detail

"Wanna play a game baty?" - the joker asked him as still trying to get into his skin

"I am not here to play your games" - Bruce replied calmly, his eyes scanning the Joker for clues as his mind worked quickly

He knew this game too well, the Joker's attempts to provoke him and throw him off balance But he was immune to such tricks, his emotions in control, his will to investigate strong and unwavering

He would not be distracted by the Joker's mocking or threats. instead, he kept his stare unblinking and his attention focused on the clown in front of him.

"Let's talk seriously? And we will be honest You always asking yourself why I'm around you like a Nightmare" - The joker explained mockingly as licking his lips by his tongue - "Even when you actually a stranger to me i killed your parents and Yes i don't have a reason more then I'm madness"

"But you didn't ask yourself why I'm still around you even after i killed your parents?" The joker finished softly but honestly

"Don't play mind games with me." - Bruce replied simply, as his eyes remained steady, refusing to be swayed by the Joker's attempts to distort his focus

He knew the Joker was just trying to get under his skin, to throw him off and make him lose his composure and Bruce remained unperturbed, staring directly back at the clown's eyes with a level of resolve and determination

"You're obsessed with me," - Bruce said flatly, his voice unwavering as he continued to stare at the clown

He was unconcerned with the Joker's mocking tone, and focused only on making eye contact and observing his every gesture and expression

"All your attacks, all your crimes have been a plea for attention from me," - Bruce continued his voice calm and steady

"Yes I'm obsessed" - The joker confessed honestly? - "But actually not with you"

Bruce was surprised by the Joker's honesty and seriousness He had always assumed the clown was playing a game with him, twisting the truth and feeding him lies to manipulate him

But this time, the Joker was genuinely being honest, which caught him off guard

"Then with who?" - Bruce asked quickly, curious where the Joker was going with this

The clown was never easy to read or predict, but something about the way he said this was making him think

If the Joker wasn't obsessed with him, then what was he truly obsessed with?

"I'm obsessed with someone I tried to take from a long time" - The joker continue - "but you come and ruin everything"

Bruce was starting to find this conversation much more interesting The Joker was being unusually serious and honest, sharing things he wouldn't normally reveal so openly

"Who are you obsessed with?" - Bruce asked, feeling intrigued by the clown's cryptic explanation

He was curious to get a glimpse of whatever had been driving the Joker's madness and chaos

The Joker was usually guarded and mysterious, so seeing this unexpected side of him was intriguing

"Someone you couldn't live without" - The joker whispered softly and coldly

"Someone you will die for" the joker added softly as looking at him trying to study his expression under the mask

Bruce felt his heart skip a beat when the Joker revealed the hint

"Someone you would die for" and "Someone you couldn't live without", those words hit him like a punch to his heart

It was clear to him who the Joker was talking about, and the revelation made his mind scramble and The last thing he expected was the Joker to reveal he was obsessed with someone Bruce deeply cared about

"Don't you see where my eyes on?" - the joker asked him calmly and seriously

The Joker's words sent chills down Bruce's spine as He understood why the Joker had been targeting him personally, and why the Joker had been focusing his efforts on causing chaos and damage wherever he could

The clown had one singular focus, one all-encompassing obsession, and Bruce knew it had nothing to do with him personally

Instead, he realized the Joker was truly focused on one person that was most important to Bruce

“I know exactly who you mean,” - Bruce finally replied quietly, his voice full of shock and concern

It's was you..

Bruce felt his chest constrict as he realized who the Joker was referring to

You, his faithful sidekick in the war against crime, his girlfriend and future wife

"You're obsessed with her," - Bruce said, his voice barely above a whisper, his heart racing and his stomach filled with dread

The Joker smirked and nodded in acknowledgment, confirming that he was indeed obsessed with You

Bruce watched as the clown's expressions shifted through a spectrum of smugness, amusement, and arrogance, before settling on a twisted delight

The Joker seemed to take a twisted pleasure in Bruce's reaction, in the realization that he, too, was helpless when it came to the one thing that mattered most to him

Bruce's mind was spinning with thoughts and emotions as he grappled with the truth of the situation

"Your precious girl, your partner in crime fighting, your love, your everything, your future wife. I want her, and she will be mine." - the joker explained honestly and firmly

The Joker's words pushed Bruce over the edge, his pent-up fury boiling over, and he suddenly sprang into action

He grabbed the Joker tightly and held him with all his strength, a look of passion and jealousy in his eyes as he saw red

But the Joker didn't even flinch. He just laughed, his eyes filled with amusement as he watched Bruce's emotions run rampant

James Gordon and his team watched from the glass window, growing increasingly nervous and concerned as they saw Bruce's emotional reaction

Bruce's anger and fury overwhelmed him, and he unleashed a whirlwind of words as he shouted furiously at the Joker

"Don't dare you" - he began, his voice shaky and quivering with fury, - "I will not let you take her, she is mine! She will always be mine!"

The Joker just laughed at his outrage and intensity, seeming thoroughly entertained by the sight of Bruce's rage he was really enjoying this so much

"What if I Touched her?" - The joker asked him teasingly but actually he was playing on his soft spot

Bruce's heart skipped a beat at the thought of the Joker touching you He knew in his heart that the Joker was taunting him, trying to provoke an emotional reaction

But the thought that he could ever touch you, even out of revenge, sent a wave of pure, unadulterated rage through Bruce's body

It was enough to push him over the edge that he barely had control over and Bruce was always the calm and rational one, but that rule was being tested now

"You might as well have signed a death wish if you even think about it." - Bruce shouted aggressively, his expression darkening with rage

He could barely control himself, his anger growing with each word as The Joker's twisted smile only seemed to grow wider as he saw the extent to which he had driven Bruce.

"Touching her, hurting her, or even thinking about her in a bad scenario, you will be facing the darkest days of your life." - Bruce continued, his voice getting colder and angrier

"Oh please listen" - The joker begged gently - "I was meaning making her mine not hurting"

Bruce suddenly stopped and realized that the Joker's words hadn't been about harming you but about making you his own

The thought of the Joker taking you away from him, using you as his twisted plaything, was even worse than if he had threatened to hurt you and Bruce couldn't let that happen, he couldn't allow the Joker to take you from him

He stepped closer, his grip on the clown tightening, his fury growing

"That's so worse" - he whispered coldly and angrily

"Why?" - The joker asked him calmly acting like a fool again as licking his lips by his tongue

But suddenly Bruce had enough and punched the joker making James Gordon and his teammates shocked from everything started turning into something else

James Gordon tried to get inside the room but Bruce put a chair against the door making it so hard to open the door

The Joker didn't even flinch at the punch, seeming to find the sudden burst of rage hilarious He was enjoying himself, savoring Bruce's rage and watching his opponent lose control

But the Joker knew Bruce was getting dangerously close to the edge, and he finally decided to act

“Enough” - he screaming angrily and firmly, as he effortlessly moved the chair aside, blocking the door open like nothing

“She may be yours, but you sure as hell cannot control her like a possession” - the Joker mocked him

The Joker's words cut deep

Bruce couldn't deny that you was your own person, with your own desires and choices. And if you desired the Joker in more ways than one, there wasn't much he could do about it

"But she wouldn't" - he said defensively, wanting to deny the possibility

"She wouldn't fall for someone like you, someone twisted and manipulative," - Bruce continued hastily, wanting to defend you and his faith in you

The Joker's words pierced straight to Bruce's heart

It was his deepest fear, and he had never allowed himself to express it or even admit it

But in that moment, the Joker could see the fear beneath the surface, the insecurity that Bruce had kept buried inside

"What if she will stop loving you? What will you do then?" - The Joker mocked him, enjoying the sight of seeing him doubt himself and his trust in you

Bruce had never expected the Joker to attack him where he was most vulnerable: his relationship with you

And now, the joker had successfully sowed a small seed of doubt into Bruce's mind and exposed an underlying insecurity he had been suppressing

James Gordon and his teammates knew just how deep this struck Bruce because they knew him so well

They were aware of his fear of losing you, and now, the joker had exploited it ruthlessly

Because they know the soul of Bruce..

Bruces' anger was boiling over in a sudden surge, a flurry of emotions and thoughts running rampant through his head

His heart broke when he considered the possibility of losing you, of someone else having you...and the Joker saw just how deep it cut him

Anger filled every inch of his being, so intense that it threatened to rip him apart from the inside out as This rage was so powerful that it almost overwhelmed Bruce, sending him into a state of rage and hate that was pure animalistic

"Shut up" - Bruce shouted angrily making the joker eyes widen

Bruce's rage was unstoppable

His screams angrily, his voice growing muffled and distorted through the mask, filled with pure rage This wasn't the calm and composed Bruce Wayne that was accustomed to facing off against the joker

This was primal, primitive fury that was almost out of his control

The joker was pushing him further and further, feeding him anger with each word of twisted mockery, pushing him further and further into his rage

"You won't take her from me," - he shouted, his voice cracking with emotion and rage

And suddenly The joker took blow after blow as Bruce let out his fury on his opponent, his fists flying wildly and mercilessly

Bruce didn't care about the consequences, he didn't care about getting hurt

His only concern was getting to the joker. He was filled with such a blind rage that he was driven to a state of animalistic aggression where nothing could stop him

He threw punch after punch, each hit fueled by immense anger, raw emotion, and the desperate desire to protect you

James Gordon and his teammates watched with bated breath, wanting to step in but not knowing if it would be a good idea right now

James Gordon and his team kept a close eye on the clock, knowing that it was almost time for you to arrive at the station

James knew they could not just stand by and let the situation escalate, but at the same time, they did not want to disrupt a dangerous confrontation

As the minutes passed, the tension in the room grew, and everyone was filled with an overwhelming sense of anxiety

No one knew what was going to happen, but the Joker was clearly enjoying the drama he had created and seemed eager to see how things played out

And suddenly you opened the door..

You entered because Bruce had asked you before to come but you never thought when you enter you will just seeing him trying to kill the joker like a beast

"Bat what are you doing" - You shouted as running to him trying to stop everything happening right now

Bruce heard your voice, causing him to freeze in his tracks as he felt your embrace, which stopped him from his intense assault on the joker

The joker watched with interest and amusement as Bruce finally stopped his fury and was finally pulled by your love

The Joker knew that this moment was important for the future of all three of them: Bruce, You, and himself

Bruce was still consumed with rage but he finally froze when he felt the warmth from her embrace

"Baby you shouldn't stopping me" - Bruce whispered softly but sadly

"Please calm down" - you explained calmly as rubbing his arms - "remember your rule about not killing any criminals no matter what"

"This bastard deserves to die" - Bruce shouted angrily as his rage overrode any logical thoughts, any self-control

It's made The joker just kept on grinning, amused by the display of rage and jealousy that was so rare coming from Bruce

The clown saw the struggle that was taking place between you and Bruce, between logic and emotion, between reason and his heart

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be just fine" - the Joker mocked in response to your words, taunting Bruce even more

"Please tell me what happened" - you asked him calmly and worriedly about him

"This bastard tried to take you from me" - Bruce replied to you harshly, still caught up in his rage and jealousy

The joker's grin remained in place, mocking, taunting, enjoying the tension and struggle between the both of you But he had also succeeded in sewing doubt and insecurity into Bruce's mind, pushing right to the breaking point

It's clear that your presence had only added to the problem, causing Bruce's rage to boil even further because he doesn't want you now to be here and let the joker eyes get you

"Listen" - You whispered as cupped his masked face - "you know him..he doesn't love anyone"

Bruce wanted to believe you and actually he needed to believe you

The truth was that he was afraid that the joker might have been right, that you might leave him for the Joker and The idea of losing you made him feel like he couldn't breathe

The way you was holding his face, looking into his eyes, you was bringing him back from the edge.

But the doubts were still there, the seeds of insecurity planted by the joker and now taking root in his mind

"Bruce he killed your parents don't you think he can kill you too by few lies" - you whispered as looking into his eyes

He listened to your words, his heart still racing but now calming somewhat

You made a good point about the joker being just and evil and a killer, able to kill with a few simple words But the fear and doubt had still taken hold in his mind

What if you is falling under the Jokers spell What if the joker is twisting the truth?

The possibility of losing you terrified Bruce so much

"But what if you" - he whispered softly trying to continue talking but you cut him off

"No" - you cut him calmly as put your finger on his lips- "Before meeting you i didn't choose the joker because i don't want him"

"Same thing after being with you Bruce I'm not just your girlfriend or your future wife" - you continue - "I'm your sidekick and i will never choose villain or someone killed your parents"

Bruce's face softened at your loving words He knew you was right, no matter what the joker had thrown at him, you still chose him.

You still stood by his side, never wavering

His fears might have been planted in his head, but his heart had not wavered. You was his and he was yours in every way

You was his love, his soulmate, and his everything you never failed to fill his heart with pure joy and love

Finally Bruce had let go of the intense rage that had consumed him

He hugged you back tightly, enjoying your touch and feeling your warmth against his body.

There was no more doubt, no more fear, and no more jealousy It was just the two of you finally reunited in peace, love, and trust

The joker was surprised by this sudden shift in mood He had expected Bruce to stay in his rage and continue attacking him

But the Joker's plans were thwarted and his scheme failed because you came in the perfect time

"What the fuck" - the joker asked the both of you mockingly but angrily - "come on get mad again'

"Shut Up clown" - Bruce replied calmly but with a coldness that seemed to radiate off of him

The joker smiled at him in amusement He could see that he had pushed the right buttons in the past, but his time of tormenting the Bat was over

Bruce was done with the madness, the anger, the jealousy, and the manipulation. And he wasn't going back to that place

"I have realized something" - Bruce replied firmly in a surprisingly calm tone - "you can lie and manipulate, but my heart can not be fooled.

The Joker was taken aback by his calmness and confidence, a sharp contrast to his explosive rage just moments before

"You can try to mess with my mind as much as you want, but it won't work" - Bruce continued, his voice still firm but without the rage that only moments earlier had defined him

"With all my regards" - you explained politely as smiling cutely showing your white teeth

And then you just kicked the joker off on his face it's made Bruce was taken aback but couldn't help but smile at your sudden attack

The joker had always been able to provoke Bruce into a rage, with one comment here and a smirk there, but you as his girlfriend had just turned the tables

Your kick had been so sudden and unexpected that it caught the Joker off-guard as The joker stumbled backwards as her kick hit, and he cursed aloud in frustration and anger

Yes you was too kind and beautiful to made everyone falling in love with you and Bruce was the one who loved you more then anything or anyone else

Everyone can fall in love with you but Bruce own you because even good people like him love you

And even bad people like the joker can too but the joker type was..

Wrong Person

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BPP,

You don't wind any bows around your opinions. Can't say I hate that even if I myself would never dare be so self assured.

The way you answered this ask:

https://www.tumblr.com/beautifulpersonpeach/769438426516815872/bpp-i-was-having-a-conversation-with-a-friend-the?source=share

Please. You cannot say Namjoon's weakness is being 'morally gray' and just bolt. I need more because I am intrigued what you mean by this, how you came to hold this opinion. I hope you get a chance to see his RPWP film because it might aid your assessment.

Also, Yoongi big dick? Metaphorically, you mean, right?

*

Ask 2:

You're back!!! I was already worried you might have left tumblr, I'm glad you didn't. I always appreciate your take on different matters even though I do not always agree with you.

You said in one of your answers you see Namjoon as morally grey and that being on of his weaknesses. Would you mind elaborating why you see him like that and why you think it's a weakness? I think it's a very interesting way to perceive him.

*

Ask 3:

Hi happy new year Peach!

I was going through your recent posts and saw you said Rm's weakness is morally grey. That intrigued me. Isn't Rm your bias? Why do you think he's not a good person?

Can you explain this pls?

Thx!

***

Hi Anon(s),

Your link, Anon in ask 1.

Yeah, I don't think Namjoon is a good person. He's my bias and I like him but I thought this was obvious.

Granted, I don't think he's a bad or evil person either. 'Good or bad' aren't typically how I think about people anyway since most of us have had to make difficult choices at some point and generally act in our own self interest pondering moral considerations only after the fact. Joon appears to be self-aware that he's sometimes the asshole with the capacity to be much worse and that he's primarily motivated by his own personal objectives, rather than any clear creed or theology on right and wrong.

And let's be real, nobody gets to the top of an industry as morally bankrupt as the k-pop industry without being a bit of a freak. Namjoon is the leader of BTS and by virtue of his position has the closest working and personal relationship with Bang Sihyuk. K-pop is a blood sport especially at the highest levels, the men at the helm of this machine maintain a system that is sadistic, unrelenting, inhumane, absolutely ruthless - and it takes a certain kind of disposition to stick your hands into this dogfight pit of madness and take away only the things that serve you.

That's who Kim Namjoon is. In my opinion.

I'm probably telling on myself a bit here, but to be morally grey isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact I see it as a strength for some kinds of people. The reason I see Joon's moral ambiguity as a weakness is perhaps ironically, because of the power and influence he wields as RM of BTS.

Because it shows the gap between his ability and his ambition.

Because the fact is he could be, should be, wrecking more havoc on this mad house. It's not like he gives a fuck about the old cronies skimming the cream off the top or about the junior nugu idols who are trying out this industry as one of several potential career paths or about the lunatics who call themselves k-pop stans. Namjoon is one of the few idols who commands outsized power in an industry that is long overdue for cataclysmic disruption. Unlike Yoongi who frequently (but privately) grapples with the existential implications for not just himself/BTS but also for random idols as a result of his actions, Joon has no such constraints. Not to say Namjoon never reflects on the moral implications of his actions or considers what happens to other people, but that it's not a preoccupation for him. At least not to the degree it appears to be for Yoongi. Again in my opinion. His nature, as I see it, is one that allows for him to fuck it all up if he actually wants to, the moral fallout be damned.

He chooses not to because doing that doesn't particularly benefit him at this time. Rather, he's put no effort into seeing how it would benefit him.

And that's a damn shame.

[aressida]

"It is helpful for anons to remember that great evil being unveiled does not equate to losing. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Our job from day one was to push the Overton window open and help people see just how sick the ruling elite, the old guard was. We were called to awaken the populace to crimes against children, corruption, blackmail, Pedowood, and the thousand other rabbit holes embedded within the Babylon system. The precipice, although it has felt like a loss for many, has been a necessary revealing to so many more blossoming red pill enthusiasts. The seeds have been planted and watered. The winning is awakening and its happening all around the world. Your perspective on what loss or victory means as a social media red pill distributor can mean the difference between burn out exhaustion or a level of peace knowing you're doing exactly what you're called to do. Keep your head up. Just because evil reveals itself does not mean the darkness gets the last word. Quite the opposite, in fact. It's their apocalypse." - ULTRA Pepe Lives Matter 🐸

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

My old entry: "Welcome to the Elite’s Apocalypse." Aressida. MARCH 24, 2019.

Hallelujah! Man, it is long overdue. About time… Today the Media has lost all credibility! Now the real fun begins.

“If I’m indicted, I’ll take half of DC with me!!” – Hilary Rodham Clinton. Okay. Your terms are acceptable.

The demons have not been this mad since we freed [Their] slaves.

It is just the beginning. As predicted. Winter is here. And what follows the investigation? The prosecution. The Hoax is over. “Patriots in control.” – Q.

I want to say I mean do you guys not feel like such losers? Two years going on three years, of saying “It’s Mueller time.” Take a listen here, how do you get played for two years straight? Ask yourself that. I cannot stand how [They] made you all look like complete imbeciles. Does this not upset you?

Mueller was not obstructed. The endless and incorrect speculations… x-x-x-x

I always have this saying, “Everything that happens, happens for a reason.” I know you will hate me at first, then you will thank me later. We cannot expect to always know what that reason is, but we can be sure that what goes around, comes around. When we let go of the struggle and begin to enter the Universal Harmony, we start to find inner peace and REAL happiness.

No more indictments from Mueller investigation. “Russian collusion” hoax was a conspiracy, as we all said at every turn. How can the media possibly recover from this further blow to their credibility?

Absolute insanity and sad. [They] so desperately need to be able to rationalize our going to war, murdering innocent people, and giving up all our rights. It breaks my heart to watch many people who have become very one track-minded.

We need to make sure that we will not let [Them] who will try to double down, again. [They] cannot and [They] will not.

So you can see why I knew the Media showed a while ago that [They] have absolutely no concern about credibility. Well according to me, [They] have not cared about credibility in years. [They] took it to a whole new level and it is not good. And this time it is personal.

I understand it has been a difficult and struggling few days and we have faced with anger, hurt and rage. Starting from now, take your time to reflect and remember, we are God’s children.

Here we are, standing unity and we are becoming united together. Now it is William Barr’s turn. Hilary Clinton lost again. The FisaGate and the Uranium One, are you ready for it? Because we are. We are the collusion truthers.

I remember I have watched a video not long ago, with some interview that was filmed like from 40 years ago that Trump talked about running for the President if reality went bad enough and he did. He knew it all. He already knew.

Future proves past.

It is the beginning of the end. D Day approacheth. Let the show begin! It is written in stone now that I have to say, President Trump is the GREATEST President in history.

Winning big.

Welcome to the Apocalypse. The Elite’s Apocalypse. The Elites want you to think the world is ending because their world is. We are now witnessing the collapse of Elite rule over this planet is not the collapse of human civilization, actually, it is our liberation. This is not politics anymore.

The greatest weapon was never about the gun, nor is it nuclear. It is actually information control.

Your mind is very likely is not the key to your freedom, but actually, your mind is the prison itself to break free. You have to escape the confines of the human mind and unlearn everything you have been Taught.

We have a responsibility to know the truth and vote accordingly. Twisting one’s politics to promote an agenda that is a proven lie, it is not excusable.

For all the deceit, lies, complicity as well as decades of taking part in the manipulation of the public. It is a complicit act. Right now we are going to bring the Mainstream Media to its knees.

Bring down the House.

I want to remind all of you here that what I truly love about the Q movement? It was passive. The spread of information is all that we needed to do. We know that you all were misled by the complicit Mainstream Media.

Look, guys, I get that. To all of the ones that called us names, ended friendships, mocked at our beliefs and shamed us for supporting Trump. From my heart, I have to say it was worth it. Got to love vindication!

I have watched people who got lost and went off looking for answers, and truth, even if they feel crushed. This is why Q has reminded us, “You attack those who threaten you most.” [They] use the facts and truth of the spin, [They] pout on every bit of propaganda that [They] have pushed. [They] knew the whole time there was no collusion.

Deep State is freaking our right now. x-x-x-x

I want to tell you this, to those who believed in Mueller do not threaten us here, it is the Mainstream Media. I am so sorry everyone, I truly am. When we are divided, we are weak. We have no power and no control.

We know you all were lied to. We know. We accept you on the good side because we have nothing but love for you. Freedom. It is an act of reconciliation, instead of division. Now it is time to unite together as we take that responsibility for this farce down. We were all lied to. This is why I believe that unity does squash the negative agenda.

The Mainstream Media lied every step of the way. I was pissed that [They] duped many of you guys into believing those lies. It was not the mistake on [Their], it was a deliberate attempt to condition the gullible. [They] committed Treason.

All I know is that the Dark has served its purpose. [They] have being rounded up and will be removed. Justice now is being served.

With the Shadow Work, we must first process the anger, get ourselves to the healing and able to move on to rebuild our world. Forgiveness builds friendships.

We are here by our love for each other and not our righteous indignation. Not our holier than thou retaliation. Not our desire for revenge. Our love for each other. And it is time to build bridges. Put the stones down, it is time to reconcile yourselves, so that you all can be healed.

Does anyone else is starting to feel better about the course of the world, right now, today, than you ever have in your entire lives? What a time to be alive.

Our ship has righted, true winds do blow. Realize this we are all ONE. Think logically here, we are in an information war. Please keep your emotions in check. It is Alice in Wonderland. All theft in the name of “Security.” That is some disturbing yet fine ideological drivel…

New Q 3173: “The calm before the storm? What happens when a blockade (threat) is dismantled & removed? “You’ll find out.” Children used as shields (manufactured crimes of perjury)? FIRE AT WILL, COMMANDER.” – Q.

I guess Q and Anons were right all along.

[inhum3n]

The Dark Side of Maladaptive Daydreaming

TW: I don’t talk about specific violent topics(just mainly say “i have violent daydreams”), but if you don’t want to read anything about the dark side of daydreams just go ahead and skip this one.

I’m feely kinda shitty and anxious, and to actually be a little more proactive this time I pushed myself to write this overdue post instead of daydreaming. I mean either way I’ll end up daydreaming before I go to bed...moving on.

A couple of weeks ago The Daydreamers was released. And it was a good dip-a-toe-in-the-water introduction about maladaptive daydreaming. Afterwards I read a few tumblr posts about it, and I remember there was one post where anon expressed their frustration with the doc presenting MaDDing as this escape to a happy wonderland. This is a criticism I’ve heard before, and one I’ve had myself. 

When I first got involved in the MaDD community online I was frustrated to see -what appeared to me - MaDDers not taking it seriously. They were sharing art of their paras, paracosms, writing about their wonder fantasies, and posting memes. To me this came across as almost “lacking a depth”, I knew that humor is a coping mechanism, but I was upset that there seemed to be so so few posts with in depth dives into the negatives of MaDD. To me it looked like everyone else was peachy with it, while I withering with it’s burden. That’s why I started this blog, to create the content I wanted to see(no shame to those who rather post light hearted stuff).

To start off, I always dislike that the word “daydreaming” is included in the name of this condition, because “daydreaming” has a very “cute” and “innocuous” connation in our language.  And to be frank, cute and innocuous are probably the last words I’d use to describe my daydreams.

My daydreams can contain incredibly dark, morbid, and violent things. There is a common theme of isolation, loneliness, being misunderstood, and martyr complexes. My parame suffering, all the while being criticized and hated by those around them.  That’s a very common theme, being hated because I’m misunderstood and I am going through some struggle unbeknownst to those around me. I would best title it as “Look at how everyone misjudges and hates me, but I am really a good person whose made sacrifices for others but has been wronged many times but I refuse to open up about it because I am afraid and because I don’t think I deserve to seek help and I am socially anxious”. 

And while there is this common underlying theme, it tends to manifest in disturbing and/or violent ways. 

*by manifest I mean what the content of the paracosm is.

And if I were to be honest, alot and I mean alot of my paracosms are straight up depressing, and their frequency tends to increase in quantity and disturbance level the more unhappy I am in real life.

But why do I/we do it? My best answer is that it’s a way to live out and externalize negative emotions I/we struggle to express and explore in our actual lives. The daydreaming gives a filter, a “safe place” to externalize, feel, and express these bad feelings. I wonder too if it acts as a disconnecting mechanism, you can experience your emotions through the paras you created, that way you don’t have to feel them as your own emotions that have occurred due to your life circumstances. Can I say it’s bit like a disassociating mechanism? Personally for me I’ve always tended to feel invalidated in my negative feelings. I felt (and still do) that I did not/have not earned sadness. That its stupid for me to be upset so much by something when there are so many other people with so much worse, so I create a fictional world where my parame experiences traumatic events that then make me feel justified to express my negative emotions through my parame. Because obviously those negative emotions make sense in the context of my parame’s life, but my actual life? Absolutely not.

TBH, I was gonna write a few examples of these dark paracosms but I backed out because honestly I’m still too nervous and scared to share the details. Sure I’m anonymous on this platform, but I know once somethings out on the internet it stays there forever. And I am afraid of the wrong people finding my post detailing my horrific daydreams and then somehow finding out who I am and they think i’m fucked up and so on....So this is all for now. These thoughts are from my personal experiences and I don’t speak for every MaDDer. 

[wordstro]

[9:47 AM] + hero/villain au + "you should sleep well knowing that no matter what you do, i will never kill you." + part 5

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 masterlist

-

you are not caught in your lie.

you expected eunwoo to notice the half-water, half-serum mixture. you sat with your knees pressed to your chest for hours, waiting for the inevitable moment of wooyoung bursting through your doors and making his warning a reality. the cruel part of your brain flit through all the things he would do to you, from burning you to leaving you in eunwoo's clutches, alone in a cold metal lab with a mad scientist with a penchant for experimentation and no qualms with hurting you. in fact, eunwoo liked to laugh when you winced in pain. he only stopped when wooyoung started staying with you during your serum shots. maybe wooyoung would lock you up like a true prisoner. maybe he would shoot you up with so much serum you'd disappear completely.

still, you almost wish wooyoung was angry when he stepped into your room later. instead he knelt in front of you and changed your bandages with a gentle touch that still made you feel something, and you despised yourself for it.

wooyoung looked at you that night with the same kindness he would from Before, nights when it was late and he walked you to your apartment door, his eyes carrying the stars as he smiled at you, or when you were drunk and he let you hold his hand tight as your group stumbled from dinner, or when you were sick and he arrived at your apartment alone with all the ingredients for soup and a you look like shit dripping from his lips.

he reached up and cupped your cheek, and he whispered, "when this is all over, i'll let you have your revenge. i'll let you do whatever you want to me. you can kill me, even."

you blinked at him, searching his eyes for even a fraction of his thoughts, but his face remained unreadable, "do you think this will end? at the rate we're going, do you think i'll be around to see it?"

he looked you in the eye, determined as his warm grip tightened on your jaw. the unreadable expression slipped, giving way to guilt and longing and a sort of sadness that hooked around your heart and yanked at it. yet, there is no regret there. there never will be, you know. wooyoung always did as he said. always. he said, "i know my promises mean nothing to you, but i give you my word, y/n, that you will not die under my care. not by my hand. you will live. you will see this through to the end. i will never let you disappear."

"but," you took a deep, steadying breath as you whispered, "what if i want to disappear? what if i don't want to see this through to the end?"

wooyoung's eyes blazed and heat radiated from him. you watched him work to keep his voice quiet, to remain soft. he said, "i won't let it happen. i promised hong - i made a promise when i first met you that i would not let you die. i'm keeping that promise. it's selfish, i know, but this is the only selfish thing i'll allow myself. everything else - it's for the greater good. i do it because i need to succeed. but this," wooyoung looked at you with a kindness that set you back a thousand days, back to Before, "is for me."

you remembered his promise, when hongjoong finally let you join the alliance and your first week you were all faced with a real mission, one that wasn't orchestrated by the alliance or the government to boost public morale. real villains creeping underground and causing havoc had just started to take root then. wooyoung's smile was toothy as he threw an arm over your shoulders, leaning into you, and said don't worry, joong, i never let cute little rookies die under my watch. ask san. all they have to do is trust me and i'll take care of the rest. it was a joke, one that had hongjoong narrowing his eyes, protective hand still pressed to your elbow, and seonghwa groaning as he asked wooyoung to be serious for once, but over the years, wooyoung kept his word. he never even laid a finger on you, not even during training matches at the alliance headquarters. not until the betrayal, at least.

"you've hurt me, though. time and time again."

the guilt was there, in his eyes, but he kept it contained. he dropped his hand from your face, glancing at your bandaged hands, and he whispered, so quietly you would not have heard it if you were not listening intently for his response. "i had to."

"so, that's it?" you reached out then, pressing your bandaged hand to his chin, pushing it up so he'd look you in the eyes, "you'll hurt me. for the greater good. but you won't let me die? that's all you'll give yourself? give me?"

his eyes searched yours for a long, long moment, before he reached up and pulled your hand from his chin. he placed it carefully on your lap as he stood. he loomed over you, the kindness, the gentleness, the wooyoung from Before gone. "it's the only thing i'll allow myself to be selfish with. you should sleep well knowing that no matter what you do, i will never kill you."

it's another warning, another threat, thinly veiled, but it still brings you a tiny bit of relief. still the relief is dashed by the underlying meaning. he won't kill you, but he'd hurt you to keep you in line. as he had this entire time. that this existence, of doing horrible things for his cause, will never stop. that he will do whatever it takes to succeed in his goals and you will be there every step of the way. it's fucked up. he knows it. you know it.

"get some rest. we have a long week ahead of us." he'd said before he left your room.

~.~.~.~.~

seonghwa watches you eat, leaning against the counter, yeosang hovering aimlessly in the kitchen behind seonghwa. jongho's shoulder brushes your shoulder whenever he leans close. the touch is admittedly comforting, taking away from the discomfort seonghwa's watchful gaze brings you.

"what?" you finally snap, looking up at him. you let your voice rise, since wooyoung isn't here.

seonghwa frowns, "you haven't eaten since yesterday."

"who would want to? after..." you trail off, biting your tongue, your eyes flickering to wooyoung's closed bedroom door.

"you brought that on yourself." seonghwa sighs, "you had to know you were going to get caught. why can't you..."

he lets out a frustrated groan, dragging a hand through his hair.

you blink at him, incredulous. you force yourself to keep your voice down as you say, "do you want me to stop fighting back? you want me to sit back and do as i'm told?" you jab a finger in yeosang's direction, "then make me. tell yeosang to make me."

"y/n." seonghwa stands up straight, looking you dead in the eyes, his tone soft, kind. too kind. it digs into your chest and tears at your resolve, at the walls you've spent this entire time building between you and them. you've been trying to keep them out, ignoring the way seonghwa angled himself between eunwoo and you when eunwoo alluded to experimenting on you, his metal arm glinting, ignoring the way yeosang gave you little reprieves here and there, your favorites from the pastry shop, reruns of your favorite movies and tv shows stocked in the living room, ignoring the way jongho always hovered and spent time with you, sitting in silence. you ignored the little things because if you let yourself dwell in it, then you'd grow attached again. you'd remember just how much you've missed them.

"do it!" your voice echoes throughout the room, "make me listen. make me think we're the happy fucking family you're pretending we are. make me!"

your eyes drift to yeosang, and for once he does not look away. he holds your gaze. unrelenting, unwavering.

a sob catches at your throat and your nails dig into your palms as you plead, "make me stop fighting back because i'm tired of it. please just..." your chest heaves, and your voice drops to a whisper, a plead where all your walls are gone, "make this stop."

seonghwa nods and nods and nods, and his eyes are glassy and his touch is cold. he kneels before you, at eye level, and he keeps nodding. his gaze is too fucking kind, as he whispers, "i'll talk to him. i'll ask him to let up on you. i know that's not enough, and i'm sorry, y/n. i am so sorry."

you wonder why he isn't sorry enough to let you go, but you don't say that. wooyoung is in the other room. seonghwa is gripping you in his cold hands, with tears in his eyes, and he's making you promises. you're suppressing your sobs, but they still spill from your lips, broken and tired and long, long overdue.

jongho's hand is on your back, rubbing up and down, a comforting weight.

"i won't let him hurt you again, okay?" seonghwa holds your head in his hands, dipping his head to meet your gaze full-on. you want to ask why he hadn't promised this earlier, but you don't. you know not to bite the hand that feeds you, no matter how minimal the food is.

you nod and he nods, before pressing your face to the crook of his neck. you look over his shoulder, meeting yeosang's gaze, his furrowed brows and frown. he looks at you as if he is making a decision. you're afraid, almost, of what that decision is.

~.~.~.~.~

you walk in silence beside yeosang, wooyoung leading the way through the winding underground halls.

wooyoung pauses at a fork, glancing over his shoulder. his gaze lingers on you for a long moment, before he looks at yeosang. he says, "yoojung needs to discuss some logistics for tonight. you know where the lab is?"

yeosang rolls his eyes, "why wouldn't i?"

wooyoung shrugs, "you're bad with directions."

you can't help but snort. you can personally attest to just how bad yeosang is with directions.

"not my fault these halls are constantly changing, " yeosang pouts, earning a small fond smile from wooyoung.

wooyoung glances at you, still smiling, but then he addresses yeosang, growing uncharacteristically serious. it's ironic, that he's finally learned to be serious after joining a villain organization. "sit with them during the shot. make sure eunwoo doesn't try anything funny."

then he swivels on his heels and disappears towards the left, not looking back at you once, his footsteps fading. you would be lying if you said you didn't feel anything at his words.

you look at yeosang. he's watching wooyoung walk away, his brows still furrowed. then he gestures for you to follow him, stepping into the right corridor.

after a few minutes of walking, yeosang takes another right.

you run into yeosang's back, stumbling back as he turns. he looks down at you, and his eyes are full of an emotion you cannot quite place.

yeosang says, "when i was a little boy, i accidentally sent my parents away. then, i told a boy to jump off a bridge. when i met wooyoung...he helped me. he made me want to live again. i swore to him that i would follow him to the ends of the earth. i would walk through hell itself if he asked me to."

"what -"

"then i joined the alliance," yeosang takes a deep, staggering breath, his eyes filled to the brim with a million emotions. grief, concern, fear. "and i swore i would do anything for them too. for you."

"yeosang, what did - what did you do?"

he sighs, "i knew you lied to us. about the serum. i switched it with a full one before handing it off to eunwoo."

you blink, "oh."

"and now i'm going to let you walk free."

you shake your head. you can't believe you are, but you do. you say, "no. they'll know it was you. you'll...what if wooyoung...?"

if wooyoung is willing to hurt you, then you're terrified of what he will do to yeosang for setting his weapon free. you're terrified for yeosang, despite everything, despite what he brought you into and his broken promises.

"the exit is right there, down the hall." he jabs a hand behind him, eyes piercing yours. your gaze follows his movement, and every nerve in your body screams at you to run. to take his offer.

"i can't leave knowing you'll be punished. i..." you blink, "you could come with me."

"i can't." yeosang laughs, a quiet musical thing, "i'm still going to follow wooyoung into hell. i have to keep him safe."

"you don't have to."

"who will protect him from himself if i don't?

"that's not fair to you!"

"it is. i owe him my life."

"yeosang -"

"i don't have time to argue this." yeosang grabs your arm, looks you dead in the eye, and he says, "i've made my decision, y/n, and you will follow it."

you see the look in his eyes. you know what he will do, because he still can't keep his promises. you bristle, struggling in his grip, "wait, no, yeosang, don't -"

yeosang shakes his head, and when he speaks, his voice is soft, compelling, his powers consuming you, "now it's time for you to go. go back to hongjoong, yunho, mingi, and san, and don't look back. keep walking until you reach them and do not look back once. forget all the things i told you to keep to yourself. tell them anything you want. when you walk out this door, you can use your powers against us without consequence. and," he pauses, and you can't say a word under the spell of his powers, "tell them that i'm sorry. tell them that i'm sorry for everything. i can't speak for seonghwa or jongho, but i know they are too. to an extent. y/n, tell san...just tell him especially. i know he hates me, but tell him." yeosang takes a deep breath, his grip tightening briefly around you arm before he lets go, "now, leave."

you blink as your legs move on their own accord. you get one last look at kang yeosang, long dark hair to his shoulders, sharp features filled with love and anger and self doubt and grief, and he nods once before you turn away. you cannot look back, yeosang's powers moving you forward. as you walk out of the villain's base, you can't do anything but follow yeosang's orders. you despise him for it, for the lack of autonomy, but you keep your eyes ahead and you pray hongjoong, yunho, mingi, and san won't shoot you on sight.

[lubdubsworld]

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so this is long overdue but I wanted to give myself the time and PEACE to read the second part of Yours, unfaithfully and GAHHH.

Shyn. You BEAUTY. YOUR MIND. YOUR TALENT. YOUR SKILL. WHAT A BEAUTY AND WHAT AN HONOUR IT IS TO READ AND BE GIVEN THE PRIVILEGE OF READING YOUR WORKS!!

I love me some angst. I LIVE for the heartache and pain and just... GAH SO MUCH!! THE FEELS IN THIS. THE FEELS

Cos!

Haneul WANTS to move on but can't. BUT. But she realises that her jealousy spilling over in the same toxic measures and possessiveness it did years ago wasn't right, wasn't healthy or fair so she controls that... she tries to rein that in and tries to be a better person, tries to work on herself for that.

YOONGI. OHMYGOD YOONGI... the way he's protective over Tae, what he'd do to the psychotic ex BUT?! Not willing to let him have Haneul and GODDAMN the power he holds over her. The "earn him" and earn the pleasure was just WHEW 🔥🔥🤒🥵 AND HIS PIERCINGS AND JUST EVERYTHING AND OH MY GOD YOONGI IS JUST AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT LEVEL. but!! Even when he figures Haneul is the ex he doesn't wanna ruin her, BUT he does wanna ruin her in another way entirely 🥴

TAE. OH MY GOD TAE. WITH HIS INABILITY TO MOVE ON, HIS CONFUSION, HIS WANT... SUCH A POSSESSIVE JEALOUS EX LOVER!! he WANTED Haneul, he wanted her and called Yoongi WHEN HE TOOK HER TO THE HOTEL and he wants her. He was just so confused because how can she suddenly seem... okay? But!! Not fair Tae. It's not that therapy FIXED her but it helped guide her, give her the ways and methods to try battle those possessive thoughts, to sort through the emotional baggage and to try... TRY be a better person. And even now she's trying so when she tells him to go, she's trying. Trying till the last end to let him GO. Because Jisoo is better, because if she didn't let go THEN then how would she let go... how would she EVER have let go? Like the whole saying that if you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go. So be them. To grow and learn. To split off and learn and develop. And that's what Haneul is trying to do.

LIKE... THERE'S JUST SO MUCH TO PICK APART AND OBSERVE AND I AM HOLLERING SHYN!! I have some MORE Namgi content for you love 🤭😌 as thanks and inspo whatever it feels like. Or just to ogle like one does to such FINE MEN.

And I just thought of this now!! But the title...

Yours, unfaithfully first made me think of the end of a letter you know but it's usually written like... e.g. Lovingly yours... so I thought Hmm why is it not Unfaithfully yours but THEN. Does that mean the letter end is Yours, and the name is unfaithfully.

Because whilst their relationship didn't end because of infidelity or unfaithfulness... but Haneul was perhaps never his FAITHFULLY. She always worried and wondered about HIS faithfulness that in that her own love is transformed into being unfaithful because she never TRUSTED him. She never held faith in him. So she becomes unfaithfully.

And this fic a sort of letter kinda navigating the whole relationship and dynamic.

WELL ANYWAYS could be entirely wrong 🤣 but I loved loved the chapter and thank you lovely for sharing it with us 🥺

Your fic may be called Yours, unfaithfully but I am always faithfully YOURS you beautiful mastermind darling 🥰, forever to root you on!!

Take care lovely! 💜

I have seven hundred thousand thoughts but alas I'm going to have to keep them to myself because they may be spoilers for the next change 😭😭😭😭

But I will tell you about the title though:

You're right it is based on the way people end letters.

The implication of course is that although they broke up, they're still very much in love with each other. And that's the thing , when you're in love and its mutual, whether you label it or not you still look for a degree of fidelity. Like you get mad when a potential love interest you have started to get to know chooses to date someone else.

So with haneul and tae, they were once in a relationship and they were both faithful.

But they don't have that anymore. They sleep with other people...

But they still belong to eaCh other though.

It is them saying ,

I'm yours, unfaithfully yes, but still yours.

[xjoonchildx]

airplane, pt. 2 | jjk x reader chapter four: los angeles

pairing: jungkook/reader

word count: 2.2K rating: 18+

genre: smut | silly smut | nonsensical smut

warnings:  criminal!jungkook, koreanamerican!jungkook, reality has left the chat, plausibility has left the chat

A/N: i’m not a huge blog and don’t have a lot of readers -- but i’m so, so, so grateful to every single one of you who’s reached out to me on AP2. hearing what you think about this story makes my day every time. from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. hope you enjoy this chapter. the story wraps up in the next one!

Chapter 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

artwork by the shmexy @ppersonna​ who’s smut is even better than her art

***********************

“You see, as messes go -- there are levels.” 

Seokjin takes a big sip of his draft beer then sets it down to free his hands.

“On the bottom are your run-of-the-mill problems,” he says, putting one hand out flat.  

His other hand comes out to hover over the first.

“Then your regular-level shitshows, then your high-level shitshows and then there’s disasters,” he says, stacking his hands in the air to demonstrate the escalation.  

You smother the urge to roll your eyes.  Like most lawyers, Seokjin loves to hear himself talk.

He’s also an old friend, someone you trust and someone who’s help you desperately need -- so you’re going to have to suck it up and let him have some fun at your expense. 

It’s only fair.

“Then somewhere way up here -- ” he stretches his upper body for effect, “ -- way past disasters is the shit you just told me.  Somewhere way off the charts. Are you with me?”

You nod, taking a sip of your own beer.

“Yup.”

“So what the fuck?” 

You laugh.  You know it’s bad form to call up a buddy you haven’t seen in months, tell him you want to buy him a beer and then dump the world’s most complicated case at his feet.  

It’s just that you haven’t been able to come up with another solution.

You’ve turned this problem over in your mind hundreds of times by this point -- envisioned dozens of ways this could end.  No other scenario makes sense in the long run.  This is the only way to put a stop to this madness without Jungkook behind bars for the rest of his natural life.  

Or worse.

That’s why you’re prepared to pull out all the stops with Seokjin.  You’re not going to let him get away with letting you down easy. 

He hasn’t laughed you out of this bar yet so you’re taking that as a good sign.

“Jin, there isn’t anyone else who could pull this off,” you say, meaning every word.  “I know you can fix this.”

He snorts.

“This guy gave agents the slip in two different countries and ghosted from a federal courthouse,” he takes another sip of his beer.  There’s limits to what even I can do. Not that I don’t appreciate the ego stroke though, you know I do.”

You gnaw at the corner of one fingernail, thinking.

“So who is he?” 

“I already told you, he --”

“Cut the bullshit,” Jin interrupts. “You know what I’m asking.  Who is he to you?”

Well, isn’t that the million-dollar question?

“It’s complicated,” you sigh, and even that is somehow oversimplifying this entire fucked-up situation. “Not sure I know how to explain that.”

“Oh, I’m willing to bet there is quite a story there,” he smirks.  “Some day you’re going to have to fill me in on all the dirty details.”

You glance away for a moment to avoid his knowing look.

“Just promise me you’ll think about it,” you say. “I’ve seen guys way worse than this get deals that kept them out of prison entirely.”

“Well you of all people know how this works, so don’t act brand new,” Jin retorts. “You want the government to play ball with this guy then he’s got to give them something they want.  If they don’t have any use for him, they have no reason to show mercy.”

“I know that,” you admit.  “Still trying to figure that part out.”

“So figure it out,” Jin pushes back. “‘Cause I’m an attorney, not a genie. I’m not in the wish-granting business.  Bring me something I can use and we’ll go from there.”

We’ll go from there. A careful hope stirs in your chest when Seokjin says that.

You promise yourself you’re going to bring him an angle that works.  

Now you’ve just got to find it.

*****************************

“Who is this guy to you?”

Jin’s question echoes in your head the entire way home.

It’s so much easier to focus on the what -- Jungkook on the run and all the problems that come with it -- than it is to focus on the why.  

The why scares you too much to confront head-on. It’s not like you love this man, right? 

He could be a terrible person. He could be as rotten in real life as he is on paper. 

He could be playing you.  It’s certainly not the first time the thought has crossed your mind.

But every time you start to entertain the doubts, something pulls you back. You can’t shake the feeling that Jungkook is none of those things.  You can’t forget the way he looked at you in Puerto Rico.  His face that night is forever burned into your mind.

So he’s either completely real or the world’s most convincing fake.

You pour a glass of water and unlock the burner phone.   The message you’d tried to send back to the number he contacted you from bounced back.  There hasn’t been a single new message since then.  

You take a drink and consider what step to take next.  

There is no way you’re going to push Jin to fight on Jungkook’s behalf until you know without a doubt this is something Jungkook wants for himself.  For all you know, he’s happy with riding this out until the end.  He could be totally at peace with the idea of never being at peace.

You stare at the screen for a moment before making up your mind to dial the number you’d found online.

The voice on the other end answers in Korean.

“Yoongi?” you ask.

The line is completely silent for a few seconds.

“I distinctly remember you promising me I’d never hear from you again,” comes the curt reply. You smile to yourself imagining the scowl he’s probably wearing right now.

“I did,” you admit.  “Thing is --” you pause and choose your next words carefully, “ -- circumstances have changed. So I’m asking for your help one more time.”

Yoongi makes an aggravated noise, something between a growl and a grunt.

“Fine.  What do you want?”

“I might have a way to help him.  Nothing is ironed out and there are no guarantees, but it’s something.  It’s just that -- I haven’t been able to reach him.”

“Yeah well, neither have I.”

Shit.  You hope the situation hasn’t gone completely upside-down in Nicaragua already. Getting him there was supposed to buy you some time.

“Okay, “ you exhale, pacing your kitchen floor.  You tell yourself there could be a million reasons why he hasn't reached out to anyone.  You tell yourself not to panic. You certainly don’t want to panic Yoongi, either.

“I need you to take down this number.  If you reach Jungkook, you need to give it to him.  Tell him if he wants to end this it’s the only way.”

Yoongi blows out a heavy breath.

“Yeah, alright.  Go ahead.”

*****************************

 God, you are really starting to hate this place.

The voice in your head that’s been telling you how deeply unsatisfied you are in this job has slowly gotten louder over these past few months.  Now it’s all you can think about every morning as you swipe your badge and walk into the polished lobby.

This isn’t some labor of love for you.  

It’s something you trained to do, started doing, kept on doing and you’re still doing now.  

On and on and on in an endless string of days.

You’d started this job with the kind of starry-eyed enthusiasm that always annoyed the veterans around here.  Now you can understand why.  It doesn’t take long in this line of work to realize that justice is a concept that’s bought and sold.  He who has the most cash makes the rules.

You grab a cup of coffee and log onto your computer to start in on the mountain of paperwork that awaits.  It’s laborious and annoying and total bullshit but at least it’s a distraction.  At least it keeps you from obsessing over the Jungkook situation non-stop.

So you throw yourself into the work just to make the hours tick by.

Your boss stops by before lunch, asks if you want to join him and some of the others at a local deli.  You cry off, complaining about paperwork and deadlines and he smiles sympathetically as they head out.  It’s a relief when their laughing voices fade away and this part of the office falls silent.

You are half-way through customizing your burrito order online when a shiver of realization walks up your spine.

***********************

“Seokjin Kim.”

He sounds so formal, answering his phone for a number he doesn’t recognize.  

“Hey, it’s me,” you say, tossing your keys onto your kitchen counter.  

“Oh, I didn’t realize -- wait, wait, wait.  Are you calling me from a burner?” Jin asks incredulously.  “Wow, it’s like we’re on The Wire or some shit.”

“Shut up,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “I’m calling because I think I might have come up with the angle.”

Jin whistles.

“Hope it’s a good one.”

“Yeah me too,” you mutter under your breath.  “I just -- I can’t be involved in any way.  I’m not even going to be able to talk to you until this plays out. No texts, no calls to my cell.  I’m already way out on a limb here.”

“Yeah, I get it,” he says.  “But hey, just for the record? A favor is something like, ‘Hey Jin, can you drop me at the airport on Tuesday? Hey Jin, would you mind picking up my dry cleaning?’ You know, for future reference.”

You laugh. Points were made.

*************************

You tell yourself -- this is long overdue.

That with or without Jungkook -- with or without the madness on that flight or the night in San Juan -- this was going to happen anyway.  

And for the first time in weeks, you actually smile at the security guards who check bags at the entrance.  You smile at the barista who talks too much at the Starbucks in the lobby.  You smile at the creep from Cybercrimes on the elevator, even though he’s standing too close. He always stands too close.

You feel lighter than you have in ages and that’s fucking bizarre, because this could all still blow up in your face at any moment.  Despite all you’ve done, Jungkook could be arrested at any time -- hauled away, locked away in prison for life.  Hell, you could be joining him at some point, disgraced and discredited and detained.  

But you woke up this morning and had a moment of clarity that knocked the wind out of you.  Today, you’re going to walk out of this building on your own terms.  

Every decision you’ve made along the way -- good or bad -- has been yours.  

If they show up at your door with a warrant, then you’ll handle it.  If they haul you off, then you’ll handle it.  If Jungkook decides he wants Jin’s help and the agency never sniffs out a thing, then you’ll handle it.  

You’ve done everything you can -- so either this works, or it doesn’t.  But there’s a big fucking difference between being cautious and being scared. 

You’ve decided you’re not going to be scared.

You read over the letter you’d typed, printed and signed before walking into your boss’s office. 

His mouth gapes in surprise when you hand him your resignation.

Effective immediately.

************************

It’s been three weeks without a word from anyone.  

Yes, you did specifically tell Jin not to reach out, you remind yourself.

The last time you two had spoken, you’d explained that you didn’t give a shit about losing the job, but that you were certain were entirely too prissy to make it in prison, and he’d agreed and you’d both shared a laugh about that.  

But now it’s been over three weeks and he still hasn’t reached out.  

You’ve had no word from him, no word from Jungkook and now you have no job.  

The silence is deafening.

If there’s an upside at this point, at least your house is immaculate.  You’ve gotten your daily run up to three miles.

Tonight the air is unnaturally cool for this time of year, more than welcome when you lace up your running shoes.  You set a good pace, make good time, and drown out the outside world with your earbuds.  

But at the end of your run -- just as you’re getting closer to home -- you notice something odd. 

Your porch light is out.  

Which is weird because you definitely remember replacing that bulb not too long ago.  You cut the music and walk quietly up to your door. 

Your entire body is on high alert as you approach slowly, keys in hand on the off chance you’re going to have to wield them like a weapon. 

But when you step up to the porch you find -- nothing. 

No creep waiting to jump out of the shadows to ambush you.  You shake your head at your own overactive imagination, take a deep breath and tell yourself to relax.

You slide your key in the lock.

The sunlight that had waned at the start of your run is entirely gone at this point, and you open the door into darkness.  You flip on the light, toss your keys on the small table you keep in the entryway.

“Don’t freak out, okay?”

You nearly jump out of your skin at the voice that comes from your living room.  From your couch.  

From inside your goddamned home.

Oh my god.

**************************

[femchef]

Life Update

So I’ve been at the new place a month this week.

I love it here - but honestly five years of working with a nice boss did not prepare me for working with a stack of nice bosses.

Hmm.

If that makes sense? That said - I would absolutely not have been able to handle this level of care and concern if I’d jumped into this position five years ago. Like - I needed to work with one genuinely kind supervisor as like. Kindness coping lessons?

It’s built into my resume - over the last eight years I’ve made it a point to include a statement in my cover letter about how important it is to continuously build safe spaces in kitchens, and making a place where other people can grow and develop their skills in a place that isn’t full of anger and mismanaged stress.

At the point when I started drafting that, I made a very conscious decision that I didn’t want to be angry at work. That was after a lot of self evaluation, and it was (always is) a work in progress. Angry chef and bitchy/catty chef are stereotypes for a lot of reasons.

Anyway - the point is, I knew what I wanted to make possible, but I’d never seen it before, in real life. I just had the notion that it was something that should be doable.

And then I got painfully lucky, and got to work for someone for five years who had had the same conscious realization, and wanted to make the same thing? Who manages with compassion and kindness. It was a little frustrating having to watch her bend over backwards to ensure that everyone else stuck to that, and it didn’t always work out. There are plenty of things that weren’t great about it, but.

It was doable. Not only was it doable but it was being put into practice. I can’t. I can’t express how wonderful and eye opening and just goddamn relieving it was, to know that we could make a place like that. And that people didn’t have to go home miserable everyday.

Kitchen work is hard. It’s hard, it can be more than a bit thankless, and a lot of kitchen culture is toxic in a way that feels insurmountable - like. Burn it to the ground and start over insurmountable. But it really, truly doesn’t have to be that way.

And I talked about it over the years with friends and it was kind of but not really a joke between us that moving to Nashville and leaving Savannah was like getting out of an abusive relationship - just. Ya know. We broke up with the Sav Service Industry. Like. Honestly- we can’t lose steam with demanding better mental health support for service instrusty employees because it’s hella overdue.

Now though. I’m here in Florida. And it’s not just one boss who is a decent person. Maybe it’s telling that one of our company managers talks about his 5 years of hell at the last place he worked (I just about died when he said it was in Hilton Head the poor man is NOT WRONG) and how he doesn’t want that for anyone else. Honestly, every manager I’ve talked to here so far has a horror story like that, that made them stop and go “Fuck, I don’t want this for other people or for me anymore how do I fix this”.

Somehow I’ve found myself in a place that’s five steps further along. No one is having to bend over backwards to constantly enforce kindness. No one is shouting. No one is throwing temper tantrums. I have several bosses and co-managers who are all kind and like to touch base and make sure I’m not overworking or overextended. It’s still summer, so the kitchen is on a skeleton crew until the seasonal hires start to arrive in October, but it’s with the expectation of teaching. There is a lot of kindness and patience to go around. Instead of discouraging employees to report injuries and accidents, the staff is begging people to do it “Please, it’s ok, we aren’t mad, look this is why we have chemical flush stations oh god please just let us take you to the hospital” conversations have happened.

It’s safe here. It really is.

Now I just have to keep pushing through all the residual anxiety.

I have a weekly scheduled meeting with my direct supervisor just to touch base, check in, see how things are going. Every single meeting has been delightful and every single time the night before and up to it I’ve been getting “called to the principals office” unnecessary anxiety vibes. Literally my last meeting when I walked in the door started with him saying “Ah! I’m so happy you are here! I’m so glad to have you on staff” like excuse 404ERROR my brain does not know how to handle this yet.

I spent a month worrying about my drafts for new menus and they were due yesterday. I was a little dissatisfied with them, I felt like I hadn’t done enough, and I pointed out in the email that these weren’t comprehensive, but that I felt like they were a good start - look, I had seven banquet and catering menus to write, including planning all the holiday pick up meal menus for the next year. Imagine if someone asked you to write every single variation of your skill but also pare it down to a manageable list that isn’t overwhelmed with too many choices. It’s HARD.

And the email I got back after sending those off last night: “Wow! You’ve really outdone yourself! This is more than I could have ever asked for or expected, I can’t wait to go over it” etc etc.

Current Me is a WiP and is cautiously pleased, but yeah. I can see how 5 Years Past Me would have imploded on the spot and been completely unprepared for this level of decency.

So anyway. We will see how it goes, but overall, I’m happy.

Also I forgot how desperately I need water and sunshine and I’m pretty sure I’m actually just a damn tropical flower because I am absolutely thriving in 90F Florida humidity and full sun.

[klaumiel]

You are all I’ve got, Austin.// Chapter 2: Mama Knows Best

I was sitting in my favourite armchair in my parent’s house, sipping tea and chilling like every other Saturday morning. She makes the best tea in the world, like a magic elixir for all my fears and problems. Checking my phone every few minutes, I looked at my mum sitting on the sofa focused on filing her long red nails. She is beautiful as always, so classy and sophisticated, with her beautiful long black and curly hair, big brown eyes. She looked like a proper lady in her brown pencil skirt and white shirt neatly pushed inside, long legs like a model, nobody can tell that she just turned fifty-two. She was glowing. And yet, there was this familiar sadness in her eyes, I’ve seen it so many times, this look when she stares in the distance lost in her thoughts, hurts me every time seeing her like this because I know exactly what it means.

Dad promised her that this will be his last deployment and he will retire so they can finally live their lives the way they wanted, but he said that last time as well and one before that. She knew that he always wanted to reach the Captain rank, and she let him follow his dreams. Even if that meant leaving us for months every year, missing Christmas, birthdays and challenging times. He got promoted four years ago and finally, after over thirty years in the army, he had his dream job. My mother never complained, she loves him too much, after all, he was her first love her ‘hero’ as he always calls him.

She was devoted to her work as a music teacher, that always helped her in worse times, we grew up with her beautiful songs and a voice of an angel, her powerful cante flamenco only proved how magical and emotional music can be.

It was tough for her to leave Sevilla, her family and friends, but she did it for love, for my Dad. My grandmother was against it, but she did it anyway. A nineteen years old music student with no language or money, completely alone only a handsome soldier that she fell in love with a few months before. She knew that she will have a beautiful life; she took a risk, and it paid off. Well, that’s what she uses to tell us, was it really what she always dreamt off? Being part-single single mother with two kids, praying every day for her husband to come back in one piece and not in the wooden box? I think she tried so hard to convince herself that in the end, she believed it.

She is the most caring and loving person I know, always two steps ahead of us catching us before we fall, still supporting even if what we are doing it’s just stupid and illogical.

We didn’t give her a hard time as kids, as twins, we naturally looked after one another without even thinking about it, if one was in trouble or going through a hard time the other one always knew. It always freaked me out how this is possible that being somewhere else I can still feel Shaun’s emotions and vice versa. We are the same in every aspect, like the same things, react the same way to everything.

‘Maya!’ She snapped me from my thoughts ‘I asked you if you want more tea and some cake? Lemon cheesecake your favourite.’ Did she just said lemon cheesecake !?

‘Oh my god, Mum! You don’t have to ask twice. You know that I would die for it’ She laughed and walked to the kitchen.

I looked at my phone again. Just a few silly messages from Gemma describing Greg’s best bed tricks. I swear she will eat this poor guy alive! After a few conversations with Greg, I convinced him to give her a chance, he finally understood that we can’t be together as the feeling wasn’t mutual.

They went on a date a few days after, and now they are inseparable, I felt a little guilty that I left this for so long I could’ve pushed them earlier to try.

I called Gemma while my mum was in the kitchen.

‘Hey, girl! What’s up?!’ She answered I could hear Greg in the background; I guess I just disturbed something. Did he just moan?!

‘Nothing much, I’m just chilling here with my mum and wanted to check how are you doing, but from your texts, and what I can hear I guessed you are nice and comfy whenever you are’ I laughed

‘Well, I’m with Greg … I had to pull him away from work, he spends way  too much time working on things that don’t matter, he needs to relax, reports and taxes can wait until Monday I am more important right now’ she giggled

‘You know he is a workaholic, but I can see you are doing a great job in changing that, I’m glad to hear it. ‘

‘And how is your prison bae? Did you decide if you are going to visit him? I thought that was your plan for today, to surprise him. Did you chicken out?’ I checked if my mum wasn’t coming back from the kitchen, and I lowered my voice.

‘I didn’t chicken out, I called yesterday, but I was late for booking. Plus I am not sure if surprising him is a good idea, maybe I should discuss this with him first ‘ I saw my mum coming back from the kitchen.

‘Is your call girl, you know him better, but you have to make up your mind. Six weeks of only texting and sending hot pics is a long time. You are long overdue for the next level. Just don’t get too invested if you are not sure if you want to make a move, plus is not like you two have much of a future… I think you should look elsewhere is pointless to waste your time on him at this point, he has no future ’ Not much of a future ?! Waste my time?! What the hell was that about?! I was just about to call her out, but I saw my mum in the living room pouring tea and putting three plates on the table.

‘OK, Gemma, I have to go. Have fun, just make sure you can walk on Monday. Sara is only waiting for a chance to shame you in front of everyone…Bye’ I hang up before she could answer. I couldn’t believe that she said that. What got into her? She was very salty about the whole Austin situation from the start, and recently she avoided me. Just talking about herself and Greg. Even in the office, we didn’t chat as much as we use to. I was puzzled and hurt at the same time, that was so mean and entirely not like her.

I tossed my phone on the table with anger, and I was just about to dig into my cheesecake when I heard a doorbell.

‘I will get it Mum!’ I run to the door, I knew it was Shaun I could feel it, smiling from ear to ear, his black curls wet from the rain falling in his green eyes.

I am always so happy to see him, my little brother. Well, three minutes difference, but still, he is younger than me, and he hates it.

‘Hello, sis! I think I need a towel is absolutely lashing out there’ He said, shaking his wet hair while coming inside.

‘Here it is sweetheart, just in time, cake is on the table.’ My mum always two steps ahead, always prepared. She hugged him and dried his head with towel messing his hair up.

As soon as we sat down, I heard my phone ping. A familiar tune that made me smile each time I heard it. It was him! Of course, it was, I didn’t talk to anyone else there. I grabbed it as fast as I could, Shaun and Mum were busy chatting about some series on Netflix that I didn’t see, so I took the opportunity to focus on the conversation with Austin. He had a shitty day, so I decided to cheer him up a little. I’ve sent him a picture of me holding a tray with the pie that I’ve made the day before from the recipe he gave me. I was covered in flour from head to toe my hair was all messy. He joked about the mess I made in the kitchen. We talked about our favourite desserts, we had the same taste, so it wasn’t surprising to me when he said that lemon cheesecake is also his favourite. It was a short conversation, his time in the library was over. He kept his phone there, in one of the books.

I was happy to have at least this ten minutes with him. Made me feel better that I managed to cheer him up a little bit, he was a bit tense lately. I had a feeling he is hiding something, but I didn’t want to push him.

I’ve put my phone down, and I saw Shaun and Mum staring at me.

‘What?’ I asked nervously looking around myself to see what they are looking at. ‘Did I spill some tea? ‘

‘Who was that sweetie?’ My Mum smiled at me ‘Was it Albert?’ Why would she think it was Albert?

‘No, why you think it was Albert? I didn’t hear from him for weeks, plus we left it as they were. I don’t want to waste my time on him. I don’t even know when he is coming back, could be months. I made my decision, one soldier in the family is enough. I want my man to be next to me every day. I am not strong enough to go through the same as you’ her smile dropped instantly. Fuck! My big mouth again! ‘ Mum I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to..’

‘It’s ok love, I know what you mean, and I fully understand it’s not an easy life, and if you don’t feel like he is worth that kind of commitment you shouldn’t waste your time and wait for him. I stuck with your father because he was the one, still is but if you don’t feel like Albert is that’s only fair’ she paused for a second, and her smile came back ‘ So if not Albert who was it then? You were smiling and giggling the whole time. I didn’t see you like this for a long time.’

She was right, I didn’t feel like this for a long time, this whole Luke situation messed me up pretty badly.

‘It’s nothing, is just a guy from Lovelink that I am chatting with. Really, not a big deal’ She didn’t believe a word I said. Shaun shoot me an angry glance. Mum always knows when we are lying.

‘You are not getting away with this, not this time, you just blew your cover by giggling like mad! He knew about Austin, I told him everything, and I felt like it is time to share it with mum. At this stage, I was too deep into this, and she already knew that I am hiding something. We never had any secrets in the family, we made a promise that we need to share everything so we can help each other when we needed, and I didn’t want to break it.

I looked at my phone again and saw the last message from Austin.

“Bye messy pie ’’

I smiled. He is so fucking sweet, sometimes. Took a deep breath.

‘OK, I will tell you but please don’t freak out.’

She poured more tea to the mugs sat comfortably on the sofa, put her hands on her knees. She was ready, that’s what she thought, but she wasn’t.

‘About six weeks ago I matched with this guy, Austin Russo. I wasn’t sure at first, but I swiped because he intrigued me, I saw something interesting in him. See for yourself.’ I showed her his profile picture and the one he sent me a few weeks ago with his pop. I kept shirtless to myself.

‘Wow, handsome man. So far, so good.’ God, she is so not ready for that. Shaun smiled, he knew I was shitting myself, I didn’t want her to know.

‘Well, we really clicked, not right away. In the beginning, I thought that he is a bit of a prick, rude and arrogant, but he started to open up and … we were texting every day, getting to know each other. He is a bit rough around the edges but is getting better. I think I am bringing his soft side now. You will like that… he is a poet.’ I had to start with the right things, prepare her. She loves poetry.

‘Oh, that’s so romantic. You seem to like him.’

‘Yes, I do. I feel like we have a connection, even tho we’ve been only texting, we didn’t really meet in real life yet, but we have something special.’

‘ He didn’t take you for a date in six weeks? Why? That’s a red flag sweetheart ‘ Fuck! Here we go. Just say it! I looked at Shaun, begging for help, but he nodded reassuring me. I took a deep breath and looked at my Mum. My mouth was dry as sand, I took a big sip of tea, brushed my hair nervously She is going to flip.

‘Mum, we couldn’t go on a date because he is in prison’ My heart pounded in my chest, I  desperately searched for her reaction. She had a poker face, but I knew she was shocked, she didn’t say anything because she knew this is not all ‘He was falsely accused of murder seven years ago.. he is innocent, but there is not enough evidence to prove it.’

She didn’t say anything, just looked away then down. I felt my eyes filling with tears. She is disappointed, she won’t even look at me. I caught Shaun looking at her. Finally, she said quietly slowly bringing her eyes back to me.

‘Well, this was unexpected.. how long is his sentence?’ Mum was very serious, but I could see that she cared, she was worried. There was approval in her piercing brown eyes. That approval that I needed right now.

‘He is on the death row.’ I nearly whispered, looking at the floor, tears flowing. I felt horrible. On one side, my mum, always wanting me to find a good Nobel man and have a perfect family, one that we never had. And on the other side Austin, the not ideal partner for her perfect daughter, another criminal

‘Oh my god, sweetie.’ She sat on the floor next to me, took my hands in hers and looked at me ‘Are you hundred per cent sure he is innocent?’

‘ Yes, I believe him.’ I whispered

I told her everything. How Austin and his pop ran a chop shop together, how his half-brother Bennie started using heavy drugs and his father kicked him out, so he decided to take them down with his new gang; they got into a fight and Bennie tried to shoot Austin but his pop pushed him away and took the bullet. Bennie and his thugs knocked Austin down and left him next to his dead father with the gun in his hand. Unfortunately, this was enough evidence to prove him guilty and sentenced to death.

I didn’t even notice that I was crying like a baby the whole time. I must’ve looked pathetic.

‘ I know that you think I must be stupid, he could be lying and just playing me, but I really have feelings for him. I can’t even explain it. I believe him, he would never kill his father, he loved him, I could feel it from the way he spoke about him.’ I took a deep breath trying to calm myself ‘I saw his rough side when we started talking, but now he is a different person…  he opened up ‘ Suddenly all the thoughts of losing him went through my head

‘Mum... I have to help him … I don’t know how but I can’t let him die.’ I felt her arms wrapped around my shoulders when she squeezed to sit next to me. She wiped my cheeks and lifted my chin.

‘ Sweetheart, I would never think you are stupid. Love is never stupid, I would’ve been a complete hypocrite to think this way. You are my daughter, my whole world, and I love you with my whole heart. You are exactly like me when you fall for someone you fall deep. I can see that you care about this boy. And your golden heart won’t let you just leave him like that.  Maya, if you believe he's innocent, I trust you’ She pointed at my phone ’ I don’t see a murderer in him, there is good in his eyes. And what’s most important you see a good person in him, you gave him a chance because you knew is right.’ Her expression softened ‘ We better start thinking about how we can help him.’

Shaun sat on the sofa, resting his head on his hands, suddenly he got up.

‘Sis, we will figure something out. There must be a way to get him out of this, talk to him see what you can learn. I’m sure he knows what to do but is holding back, is too proud to ask you for help. He is too young and definitely not ready to die…Listen… Dad will be back in a few weeks maybe he can pull some strings, in the meantime try to convince Austin to let you help him.’

I wasn’t expecting my mum to understand, but she saw something more than just a stupid girl falling in love with the guy who most likely will never see the outside world before saying goodbye to it. She felt my determination and will to get him out of this shit, and as always she was two steps ahead.

‘ What was the other evidence apart from the gun?’ She asked while walking back to the sofa

‘ Partial DNA on him, which by the way is the same as Bennie’s, if we could have his DNA that would be a full match. I’m sure that would be enough to prove him innocent. I spoke with him about this, but nobody knows where Bennie is now, and police aren’t even looking for him. Plus is not easy to convince Austin to let me help him, he is stubborn, he lived with the idea that there is no chance for him to get out for seven years and now when there is a small chance he is scared, he won’t admit it, but he is scared someone will get hurt because of him again.’

‘You have to convince him’ Shaun said ‘ I am sure he knows something, a guy like Bennie can’t just disappear without the trace unless they are dead. Then we are screwed… Talk to him and don’t do anything stupid alone, you have me’ He smiled and flicked my nose

Next day I spoke with Austin about the possibility of finding Bennie, of course, he didn’t want me to get involved. How someone can be so stubborn!?

But that day, I decided that I had enough of him pissing around. After he got stabbed in the library by few of Bennie’s thugs who tried to cut his tongue, to make sure he won’t speak before the execution.

This was the point in which I drew the line, it was too much. My man was in grave danger, and I suppose to sit with my arms crossed? No fucking way! But before he managed to get proper angry he told me that we will give it ago, he had information where Bennie was last seen, he sent me an address and asked me to wait until we make a plan. He clearly doesn’t know me as well as he thinks he does.’

The moment Austin went offline, I put the address in my GPS  and drove there. I looked around the place that seemed to be a chop shop. Austin texted me when I was hidden behind the fence. He was fuming, I didn’t listen to him after all, he specifically told me to wait. Sorry not sorry, darling.

We confirmed that the bike outside the shop was Bennie’s, I went to look around searching for anything useful, but then my luck reached its end together with my common sense.

Bennie found me. I had only one chance to use this to my advantage, he was meters away from me. I only needed a bit of his hair, that's all.

I could stir it anyway I could, I had him right in front of me, but no. I did the only thing my stupid mind told me to.

I agreed to go on a date with a murderer. How wonderfully clever of me. Mama will be proud.

It was the stupidest idea ever, but it was the only chance I had to free Austin, or at least save his life.

Austin wasn’t happy with the idea, but he knew it is the only way. Only one shot, he’s the only door to freedom.

We planned everything, go in get the hair and get out. Simple as that. Nothing can go wrong, right? Right.

I called Shaun, I was stupid and desperate enough to go on a date a murderer but not dumb as to go there alone.

[phandom-phriend]

Phic Phight 2020 - New Perspective

“Danny being stuck as Phantom and forced to deal with situations that he'd normally be as Fenton (like going to school, having a family dinner, etc)” | Prompt by @ectoamerican-blog

Word Count: 1,226

Some things are easier as Phantom. Fighting ghosts is a prime example, but even the small things like being on time or getting around Amity are done with a certain ease. On the other side of the coin, there are also things easier as Fenton. Blending in and giving off a heat signature for starters.

So it makes sense to keep the two separate. They both have their ups and downs, pros and cons. Sure, Fenton and Phantom are both him. And while it took a while, he accepts it. Embraces it. It’s just...who he is now. His name is Danny, he has two best friends, he wants to be an astronaut, and he’s half ghost. It’s as simple as that.

But things tend to go wrong whenever he’s involved. That’s just another thing he’s come to accept over the years. And it seems that lady luck thought him to be long overdue for some misfortune.

It all started with his dad's latest invention. Over the past two years they have switched from lethal ghost weaponry to subdued weapons. (Turns out it takes saving the world a dozen or so times before they would be more lenient towards ghosts. Who knew?) Which is how Jack came up with The Fenton Stabilizer.

Now what it was supposed to do was freeze up the ectoplasm inside a ghost bodies so that they couldn’t move. Simple enough, really. That is, until you bring a halfa into the equation.

Phantom, unfortunately, became the unwilling test subject after dealing with the Box Ghost. Even if the other can be a bit… much, it’s not like he wouldn’t take a hit for him...literally. On the outside, it appeared that nothing changed when the blast hit, much to his parents, and his own, surprise. He was still able to move freely and use his powers, leaving them to dub the Fenton Stabilizer… a dud. But when he flew off and met up with Sam and Tucker, it became clear that he was affected. His ectoplasm froze not his mobility, but his ability to transform back, leaving him stuck as his ghost half until it either wore off, or they found another solution entirely.

Which leads to another problem, he realizes the next day. School. His parents don’t really take notice of him when he is or isn’t there, so sneaking this issue past them for the night, but...

Normally he would skip out or Sam and Tucker would give excuses to cover for him, but Mr. Lancer had told him last time that if he were to ditch his class one more time this semester, his parents would be brought in. Which is a whole other can of worms he does not feel like opening right now. So, the solution to the madness? Go to school as Phantom!

No, his secret wasn’t out. And no, he wasn’t planning on letting it out anytime soon. But surely this was a fool-proof plan in need of no edits what-so-ever! (Not like he has the time to make edits if they were needed anyway)

The stares were expected as he flew into school, shooting a few of his classmates (not that they knew that) a few smiles and waves as he went by to his first class of the day. No one has questioned him directly yet, just murmurings among themselves about possible ghost attacks or conspiracy theories of his appearance, the usual stuff.

It wasn’t until he got to the history classroom that he was questioned, and it started because he was the one that asked something first.

“Hello, do you know where Danny Fenton sits?”

“What are you...doing here?”

“Attending school, same as you.”

Now, Miss Fletcher wasn’t really keen on Phantom. He was a disruption to class and the same breed as those that attack Amity. Not to mention she just wasn’t fond of teenagers in general. Why she became a teacher is anyone’s guess. But putting that aside, she wouldn’t easily be swayed by banter or words in general.

“I know you’re an...icon around town. But you can’t just barge into my class and ask about my students!”

“Oh, well you see, Danny and I have this deal going on.”

“Deal?”

“Yeah! He’s, uh, helping me with some ghost trouble! So I agreed to come to class for him today so he could get all that work done for me!”

“Ghost trouble?”

“Yeah, real personal stuff. Already talked it over with the principle, so! We’re all good!” Danny, of course, had not done that. Hadn’t even thought of talking it over with the man in charge until the words tumbled from his mouth. He’ll have to keep that in mind for the future. He is on Team Phantom if the small poster on his desk was anything to go by.

She didn’t say anything this time, just rolling her eyes and pointing to Danny’s seat. This was going to be an odd day.

--

Things went by about the same in each class since that morning, but lunch was a whole other issue. Normally he’d sit with Sam and Tucker at the corner table or outside, but he kept being stopped by multiple students and different lunch tables. It ended up being more of a Q&A than lunch. Which, it makes sense that no one was really concerned with his need to eat since, well, the whole dead thing. So Phantom decided to just..suck it up, answer a few questions, and float his way to Mr. Lancer’s classroom. Easy-peasy.

“Why are you here today?”

“Danny’s helping me with something.”

“What does it feel like, being in school?”

“I died before I graduated, so it’s pretty surreal to be back now.”

“Why is Fenton the one helping you?”

“His family is known for ghost tech, seemed like a pretty logical choice to me.”

This continued for ten minutes or so before Danny was able to escape their eyes and make his way to Mr. Lancer’s class. To his surprise, the older man didn’t even bat an eye at the ghost's presence, floating into the room and in front of his desk.

“Uh, hello...sir?”

“Go and take a seat, Phantom. Second row, third from the left.”

“Uh, thanks. You’re a lot more...accommodating than I thought you’d be.”

The teacher put his book down and leveled him with an almost… kind look. “I happen to be a bit of a fan, I suppose. And every teenager needs to learn the literary arts.”

“Yeah, well-”

“And I assume you brought Danny’s work that was due today?”

“Oh, yeah! Of course!” and he did, surprisingly enough. It was meant to be used as a sort of bribe, but this works just as well.

“Then I don’t see how this will be an issue. Now, let’s begin.” he said, eyes as the class filled up with barely concealed whispers.

As Danny sat, or rather floated, in his seat as his teacher began to speak, he couldn’t help but to feel a different level of appreciation. Who would have thought that even in this form, his teacher would still have his back? Not that he knew he was Fenton, of course. But it was a nice sentiment either way.

And well, even just Wes’ strangled gasp from behind him made it all the more worth it every second.

[shirophantomvox]

A Heart to Heart Talk- Lotor and Allura

Author’s note: What’s up y’all? Here is something I came up with when I was supposed to be paying attention in class. Yes, I was that bored. I am thinking about putting this on A03 but, I don’t know yet. Once I do, I’ll post a link. I have a question, if you were trying to develop a portfolio or have a career in screenplay writing, would you continue writing fanfiction or start in your own story? I am scared that someone will steal my idea so that is why I write fanfiction. Let me know in the comments! 

Trillions and Trillions of miles deep into space, one has to get used to it, or else it will drive you mad. Sure enough, you’ll get restless and annoyed that you cannot leave the ship until you’ve landed on a planet, but you learn how to manage. Could you imagine being exiled by your father and have to provide for yourself as a child? 

While his generals were practicing attack tactics and even sharpening their blades, Lotor decided to wander off down the halls to clear his mind. He had so much on his plate, sometimes it was hard to cope through life. When you’ve been around people who told you to “just get over it” or “it has been a long time”, you suddenly feel like you’re alone. Is there anyone that could relate to him? All of these thoughts began to cloud his mind again, and this time he was determined to not let it bother him again. This time it was going to work because he had the comfort of Princess Allura and Shiro, the paladin of the black lion on his side. Both Shiro and Allura could understand Lotor’s pain to an extent, and since he was an ally to Voltron, it’s about time they’d get to know each other on a more personal level. Allura was used to spilling the beans about herself, but for Shiro and Lotor, it didn’t seem that way. To his left, was a room full of comfortable furniture in different shades of white, yellow, and purple. As the door opened. He cracked open a somber smile which was obvious that he wasn’t feeling it. It’s about time that he takes off his mask and throw it away. 

He sat down comfortably and smiled as he picked up two pieces of paper and threw them down on the table for absolutely no reason, just for effect. 

“I know you two are quietly sitting here rather awkwardly wondering why I’ve called you here.”

“That’s exactly what we’re wondering,” Shiro said sipping from his Altean look-alike of a latte. 

“Is there something you want to talk about,” Allura said batting her eyelashes rather nonchalantly. 

Lotor released a satisfied chuckle, stretched his collar, and cleared his throat. 

“Yes, there is something I’ve wanted to talk to you about. Although your human, Shiro, Allura, you’re full Altean, and I’m biracial, we have something in common here. We have all been through...life-changing experiences that have turned us into better people.”

“If you count being experimented on by the Galra life-changing, then yeah. I am as strong as it gets.”

Shiro asked the robot server to get him another latte. This would have been his third one. With the little knowledge Allura had about coffee, she knew he would go into a caffeine rush and destroy the training dummy for the millionth time. 

“When Altea was destroyed, I didn’t know if I could live with myself. All I had were Coran and the mice.”

Lotor gently placed his large hand over hers in comfort.

“I’m just as disappointed as you are, Allura. That is why I am pleased about us being allies in the war against the Galra. If our life-changing events didn’t tell us anything more, I think the main lesson is to keep fighting and to never give up hope.”

He said all of this while slowly stealing Allura’s personal space. He’s taking advantage of making it obvious that he had more than “friendly” feelings for her. Shiro on the other hand knew what was about to happen and what happens after. His eyes squinted and blushed faintly as he cleared his throat loudly. 

“Uh...Lotor? Can we get to the point again or is this meeting just for you to flirt with Allura?”

“Huh,” she said in confusion. She was so occupied with taking down Zarkon, that she never paid attention to Lotor’s passes.

“What are you talking about, Shiro? Lotor suddenly turned into a stern mother who was ready to grab his child’s arm with a hardness and watch them wince in suffering. He knew how he felt about Allura but he always wanted to keep a secret until the time was right. 

“Because I am not a third wheel.”

“Why do you sound tougher than usual?”

“I’ve had too much caffeine. Please, get to the point.”

“What in your life-changing event had to motivate you to continue this fight? I have to be honest...sometimes I quickly lose motivation.”

“Well, after I was done fighting the beast, Haggar took me to the infirmary and concluded that I had a disease that was running rampant through my arm. I guess that was my reward for destroying the beast. She did remove it but she only did it for her selfish gain. She thought I was going to be a human soldier working for the galra and sell out my planet. When I refused to do any of her dirty work, that’s when I was placed in a cell.  When they took off my arm, they didn’t numb me or anything. It was pure torture. When I realized how ruthless and selfish the Galra were,  I knew they had to be stopped. By any means necessary.”

“And for you, Princess? How did you react when one of your paladins was half Galra?

Allura took in a deep breath. Lotor indeed wanted to know because he was curious. I mean, they destroyed her home planet and people. But he also wanted to know to if she was willing to date him. On another note, he did care about her safety but could the same be said about her?

“I cannot tell a lie but when Keith revealed that he was half Galra, I was very upset. I felt like I had been taken for a fool. Who do I look like trying to defeat the Galra and I have one on my team? Pretty contradictive, I know. But once I met other Galra including yourself, I thought about it with an open mind. I know when to let my guard down and when not too.”

He smiled and brushed some of his hair behind his ear. The young prince felt more confident in his approach to wooing the Altean princess. Shiro has been made aware of Lotor’s plan, he was there for backup. You’d think a 10,000-year-old suave prince could woo any girl he wanted...at least in the human world, he can. For centuries after being told that you’d be nothing and countless encounters with abuse, that stained his ability to achieve anything.  

“Before you go, Princess, I want to give you something.”

Zarkon’s son reached beneath the table and pulled out what seemed to be a Juniberry flower on an elastic band. Do you remember how during prom season the guy would give his date a corsage? Same thing. This Juniberry band was alive; bursting in color and smelt delightful. Allura’s eyes widened in surprise and smiled happily. She gasped as she attempted to grab the flower from his hand. 

“Ah, ah, ah,” he said tauntingly, shaking his index finger. “ Allow me.”

He slid the band onto her hand and glanced into her bright purple eyes. “It fits perfectly. Your measurements were right Shiro.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing!”

“I can take a hint. I’m going to go back and see what the team is up to. Be safe...I’m serious.”

Shiro exited the room and Lotor gently placed two kisses on Allura’s hand. This indeed was a heart to heart talk after all. A talk was long overdue. 

[peachandthefrog]

sweet surrender | jeff skinner

note: I’m not super in love with this piece and it’s a month overdue but I hope everyone enjoys it regardless!

word count: 8.7k

Valentine’s day as a single person was like fighting off the plague. Everywhere you went you were reminded of how miserably single you were. Or at least that was your mindset every year except this year. You were embracing your single life and treating yourself to what you know you truly deserve.

Which is why you were currently out shopping picking up all the necessary items you would need to spend your Valentine’s Day alone. You had your night completely planned out with a full course meal and the most expensive red wine you could find to fit in your budget. And after you wined and dined yourself, the plan was to take a relaxing bath, eat the dumbly expensive chocolates you bought, and catch up on some TV. It was going to be the best Valentine’s Day yet and you couldn’t wait to get home.

Pushing open the door to your apartment, you shuffle inside with the bags from the store hanging from your arms, and quickly set them on the counter, sighing in relief at having the weight lifted from your forearms.

Turning on a few lights in the kitchen, you move through the apartment turning on the lamps in your living room and turning the switch for the fake fireplace before turning on the tv to a low rumble in the background. Moving from there, you go to your room changing into a comfy shirt and shorts then making your way back to your kitchen to begin making dinner.

Before you can even unpack everything you bought, arms are wrapping around your waist and a scream is falling from your lips, heart ready to beat out of your chest. Until you hear those all too familiar giggles in your ear and feel curls pressed against the side of your face.

“What the fuck Jeff? You almost gave me a heart attack!” You cry, swiveling around in his arms, lightly smacking him on his chest. He tries to ward off your attack, but it’s useless with how much he’s giggling.

With your heartbeat slowing to a normal rhythm all you felt now was anger bubbling up to the surface. “God you’re so fucking ridiculous. I gave you that key for emergencies not so you could just barge in and scare the shit out of me.” You grumble, taking the rest of the stuff you bought and setting it out on the counter.

“But this is an emergency,” Jeff whines from behind you and you know without even turning around to look at him he has on his puppy eyes and pouty lips. And you hated that you were so gone for him that that move worked every single time.

You and Jeff had been friends for years having met during your college days. At first it was just hanging out with mutual friends around and then escalated to studying together and going to grab coffee before class which in turn led to you following him to Carolina and again to Buffalo after he got traded.

And somewhere along the way, you fell in love with him. It was a constant battle of trying to distance yourself so you didn’t get hurt and being the affectionate best friends you started out as. But getting your heart broken was inevitable when every few months Jeff would find a new fling for a little while and you’d have to just stand by and watch them be together. It’s not to say you weren’t happy for Jeff because you were, it’s just that the girls he was with weren’t you.

You’d tried dating but it never lasted past the first handful of dates. You’d bring someone home from the bar every now and then when you’d had a few beers after a big win for the boys, but it always ended with you waking up alone in your bed and a heavy feeling in your chest.

You were caught up on the curly haired, giggly boy standing in your kitchen and you would just have to deal with being “just friends.”

Turning around, you place your hands on your hips and raise your eyebrows waiting for Jeff to explain himself. You fight with yourself to ignore the puppy eyes and pouty lips and stay mad at him, although your resolve was quickly fading.

“I’m all alone on Valentines Day and so are you so I thought we could be alone together,” Jeff smiles, with a small shrug of his shoulders. You just continue to stare at him because that’s probably the cheesiest thing he’s ever said to you and you can’t seem to get your brain to work correctly to tell him he’s dumb.

“I brought wine?” Jeff says with an upward tilt to the last word making it sound like a question. You know what he’s doing. He’s trying to win you over; wine and Jeff were two things you could never resist.

“What kind of wine?” You narrow your eyes at him. He peaked your interest at wine but if it wasn’t a good bottle, you were considering sending him packing.

“It’s the expensive stuff. The one you loved that time we went wine tasting in Cali with the boys during bye week.”

You’d both been single then too, getting way too tipsy and hanging all over each other with a little bit of friendly flirting that drove everyone else crazy. It’d never amounted to more than that, though, things going back to normal as soon as you got home.

“Fine. But only because you brought me wine.” You recede, going to a drawer and pulling out some cutting boards.

“Now get your ass over here and help me cook.”

Jeff was surprisingly more helpful than you thought he’d be. Usually when you’d tried to cook and he was around it was an absolute disaster. He would try to steal food or he would spill something so you’d always have to chase him out of the kitchen. He was doing everything you told him to though generally being super helpful.

You were currently standing side by side, you chopping up vegetables while Jeff was busy seasoning the salmon you’d bought. Your arms were brushing every time you moved, goosebumps rising on your skin from the heat of his body. He had his tongue poked out in concentration and you were trying hard not to stare, but it was almost impossible to ignore.

Instead of dwelling on how hot your best friend looked, you decided to turn on some music, hoping to drown out your thoughts completely.

“Ooh I love this song!” Jeff exclaims, beginning to bop his head to the opening chords of Don’t Stop Believing.

“Everyone loves this song Jeff. It’s a classic.” You say, shaking your head at how much his curls were bouncing around as he moved his head.

“Yeah, but I think I love it more than them.” Jeff gave you an all knowing look, and you really just wanted to face palm at the memory he was talking about.

“Shut up. I was having a bad day and you kept buying me drinks. It was all your fault.”

“We had fun you can’t deny that. Until we got kicked out, but we still had fun.” Jeff smiles at you over his shoulder.

It was almost 3 years ago and he still wouldn’t let it go. You’d just moved with Jeff to Carolina, all of your stuff being sent out a few days before on moving trucks. You were supposed to have everything set, all of your belongings waiting on you when you arrived. But half of your stuff didn’t show up, having gotten lost on the way. You were frustrated and angry so Jeff took you out to a bar in hopes of cheering you up. The only thing he really did was get you drunk on beer and tequila. So drunk that when Journey came on, he convinced you to dance on top of the bar with him which led you to accidentally breaking a few things and spilling a drink on a hot guy sitting below you.

In the moment it was fun, until you got kicked out and were left with a nasty hangover the next morning. You would never live it down especially with the video evidence.

“Maybe but I’m still never letting you buy me drinks again.” You reply, beginning to season your vegetables so they could go in the oven with the salmon.

“Too late sweetheart.” Jeff giggles, holding up your empty wine glass, filling it to the brim for the third time tonight and tipping it towards you.

“God I hate you.” You groan, rolling your eyes with a smile, moving in front of Jeff so you could put your vegetables on the open pan space beside the salmon. Jeff decides then, to wrap his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder with his cheek pressed against the side of your head. And you let him, on your way to tipsy from the wine, you just wanted to enjoy the moments you could with Jeff until he eventually found someone for good this time. You were holding your breath for when the time came and in the times between his flings and being single you were cataloguing and filing away moments just like this, committing them to memory, to hopefully lessen how bad it would hurt when he broke your heart for good. It was only a matter of time and you didn’t think you’d ever be ready.

“You smell really good,” Jeff mumbles, lips brushing over the shell of your ear until he’s nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. You only hum in response taking a sip of your wine, knowing you’d probably end up moaning if you opened your mouth and that’d be a whole other level of embarrassing.

Jeff stays attached to you, which is only slightly annoying, as you bend down to put the pan in the oven, pushing your hips back into him. You can feel as he tightens his grip around you until you’re standing up right again and he seems to relax as you set the timer on the oven.

“Jeff c'mon, you gotta let go.” You say, trying to pry his hands away from where they’re rested against the softness of your stomach, but he only tightens his grip pulling you flush against his chest, snuggling into your neck again.

“Two more minutes please.” His words are jumbled, every syllable brushing against the sensitive skin of your neck, sighing you rest your weight against him, relaxing into his hold, fully aware that he’ll whine until he gets his way. Jeff hums contentedly, before maneuvering your body until you’re chest to chest and he’s tangling a hand in your hair, pressing your head against his chest and you turn your head, nosing at the column of his throat. Closing your eyes, you relax further, settling into his warmth and enjoying the small circles his fingers were creating against your scalp.

And it’s nice, being able to do this with him, with no interruptions in the comfort of your own home. It seemed that this was your safe haven with Jeff or maybe it wasn’t the apartment at all; maybe it was Jeff in all his curly haired, dimpled glory. So often he’s gone on the road or with a girlfriend that moments like this are few and far between, but it never fails to make your heart race and your palms clammy. The way he made you feel was maddening and exhilarating all in the same sentence. You truly didn’t know what to do with yourself.

“J, it’s been two minutes,” you murmur, truly not wanting to let go. You were warm and comfortable in his arms, but you knew you couldn’t stay like this forever no matter how much you wished you could.

“I know.” Though neither of you take the initiative to move. Jeff is still massaging your scalp and you can feel his fingers flex and uncurl against your ribs several times before he’s pulling away, holding you at arms length as you stare up at him through your lashes, hands still holding against the small of his back.

“I need to clean up some so it’s not such a mess later.” You whisper, too scared you’ll break the softness of the moment if you talk any louder. Jeff grins, dimples shining through a sparkle in his eyes.

“Yeah I guess we should do that together huh?” Jeff concedes, shrugging his shoulders.

And for whatever reason that’s the funniest thing to you and you can’t help but burst into giggles, falling forward and resting your forehead against the center of Jeff’s chest, trying to hide yourself in his shirt. You can feel Jeff giggling from above you with his chin on top of your head and you’ll never get over how sweet that sound is coming from him.

“Come on crazy girl. We have dishes to do.” Jeff presses a kiss to your temple, giggles dying down enough that he takes your hand and drags you over to the sink.

It’s a process it seems, to get the water started and the dirty dishes gathered up when all Jeff wants to do is try and spray you with water and make a mess of your kitchen floor. But you get it together eventually and as punishment Jeff gets to wash while you rinse.

You kind of feel bad there are so many dirty dishes but you’ve been so busy with work that you just haven’t had time to do them. Jeff doesn’t seem to mind though, as he knocks his hip into yours, throwing you a soft smile that turns your insides to mush.

Glancing at Jeff out of the corner of your eye, his tongue is poking out of the corner of his mouth, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he scrubs a pot clean and you can’t help but wonder.

“J, so what happened with you and …?” You falter, drawing a blank as to what the name of his last girlfriend was. It’s not like you should really know her name, he didn’t bring her around much, opting to only bring her around the boys and their significant others. Which makes sense you guessed, you weren’t one of them, nor would you ever be.

“Ashley.” Jeff fills in for you, handing you the pot he had been cleaning so you could rinse the bubbles away.

“Yeah, so what happened with you two?” You ask, truly unsure if you even wanted to know the reason they’d broken up.

“We just had our differences and collectively decided to end things. No hard feelings.” Jeff shrugs, seeming to feel indifferent about the whole situation. It was almost unsettling since he’d spent over three months with the girl. You weren’t going to question it further though.

“Oh. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” You were lying straight through your teeth. And you felt bad that you were almost happy he had broken up with her and all of the ones before that, but you couldn’t help it. It was heartbreaking watching your best friend be in love with someone that wasn’t you. It was selfish of you, you knew that, and yet you relished in the relief that he was single and you’d have him to yourself for a while.

“Don’t be. It’s okay.” Jeff shoots you a soft smile and you can’t help but feel a smile spreading your cheeks, until you see a glint in Jeff’s eyes from your peripheral.

“Jeffrey, I know that look. Don’t you dare,” You warn, taking a step back from the sink.

Your warning falls on deaf ears as Jeff giggles, scooping a handful of bubbles and throwing them at your head, the heap falling miserably on the center of your chest, completely missing their target. You gasp, staring at a doubled over man crying with laughter.

Smirking you stick your hand in the water, splashing bubbles and water out over the side of the sink, the mess falling directly over the back of his head and now it’s your turn to laugh at the horrified look on Jeff’s face as he picks up his head and runs his fingers through his now soaked hair.

“Oh now it’s on.” And you’re screaming, running away from Jeff who has a huge handful of bubbles cradled in his hand ready at a moment’s notice to throw them at you. Except it kinda fails, the bubbles blowing away as soon as he walks more than a few steps. You can’t help but giggle at the disgruntled look on his face as he circles back around to the sink, shoving his hand in the water and pulling out a few more bubbles.

“Don’t fail me bubbles. We have some revenge to complete.” Jeff whispers to his hand, glancing up at you momentarily before saying something else inaudible to his hand. You’re crying with laughter at this point, your stomach muscles cramping at how hard you’re laughing. Jeff got a little crazy when he was tipsy, albeit it was often times your favorite Jeff.

Your laughs die away almost instantly as you feel the cold soapsuds painting your cheeks and the warm press of Jeff’s body against your side.

“Jeff..” you’re whining his name long and drawn out, turning and wiping your cheeks on his t-shirt. He only laughs, cradling your head to his chest as you nuzzle further into his warmth.

“Oh my god!” Jeff exclaims, pulling away and holding you at arms length as the next song starts. You smile, turning around and grabbing two spoons handing one to Jeff with a wink.

“I could stay awake just to hear you breathing.” You and Jeff sing dramatically into your spoons, dancing around the kitchen in your own form of freestyling, although to a sober person your moves would be characterized as typical “white girl” dancing. You can’t help but giggle as Jeff attempts what looks like twerking, but with the size of his ass he only bumps into one of your bar stools, knocking it to the floor. His cheeks flush pink, shyly smiling at you before setting the stool upright again. You move together in time for the chorus, linking arms and circling around a single spot on the floor as you essentially scream the lyrics in each other’s faces.

Out of breath, Jeff never having seemed to adequately build his stamina up over the years (you’d never let him live that video down), drops his spoon, looking at you, he takes your spoon, throwing it to the floor as well, shrugging his shoulders with a sly smile. Jeff pulls you close, wrapping an arm around your waist and taking his free hand in yours, holding it up in a slow dance form.

Jeff sways the two of you, his head pressed to the side of your cheek so he can softly sing in your ear. You can’t help but feel your cheeks get hot as your heart skips a beat in your chest. You try to choke down every thought, feeling, and emotion that was fighting its way to the surface, refusing to acknowledge this felt like more than two tipsy best friends dancing in a kitchen. Jeff was warm and solid against you and you tried to focus on that to keep yourself grounded. It was hard, though, to not get distracted by his voice or the way his breath hit the shell of your ear and sent shivers down your spine.

“I don’t want to close my eyes. I don’t want to fall asleep cause I’d miss you babe. and I don’t want to miss a thing.” Jeff sings softly, taking your hand and spinning you away from him during the next stanza, and you feel giddy inside, your cheeks hurting from smiling so much. Jeff pulls you back, so you’re rested tightly against him, his forehead pressed to yours as he sings the last lines to you.

“Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do. I’d still miss you babe and I don’t want to miss a thing.”

Jeff is out of breath from singing and so are you, but from an entirely different reason. He’s just so close and you feel like you’re swimming in molasses as you look at him. You’re breathing heavy, feeling Jeff’s own ragged breathing fanning over your cheeks. He smells like wine and if you weren’t intoxicated already you would be just from being this close to him.

Jeff’s eyes flicker down to your lips before his eyes settle back on yours. You can feel your hands get clammy and your heart pounding as it seems like time stands still. Then Jeff is tilting his head and leaning in. You feel like your heart is in your throat, eyes involuntarily closing. You can feel how close he is, his breath brushing over your lips and you know if you leaned up on your toes you would be kissing him and it kind of makes you want to throw up. Jeff’s grip on your waist tightens as he leans in farther and you feel the slightest brush of his lips. Suddenly the timer goes off and you’re ripping yourself away from him, rushing over to the oven to turn off the timer and grab an oven mitt to take the pan out of the oven.

You can feel the hotness in your cheeks and you wish it was just from the rush of heat to the oven and not at the fact that you had almost kissed your best friend in your kitchen.

“Hey J, can you get me two plates?” You ask, offering him a closed lipped smile as he hands you them, ushering him to the other side of the island to sit down. You were trying to distract yourself. Pretend it never happened. Ignore the butterflies and anxiety swirling around deep in your belly.

And really you usually made him serve himself because he was a big boy and could handle it on his own, but you needed a minute to breathe without him two steps behind you. Your mind was racing. 

Dishing out everything onto plates, you take a few moments to breathe, plastering on a smile as you turn and set Jeff’s meal in front of him.

“This looks delicious. Thank you!” Jeff fills your wine glasses again waiting until you sit down with your own plate before digging in. You’re too distracted to eat anything so when Jeff nudges you with his elbow, your head snaps up to meet his concerned gaze.

“You alright?” Jeff asks, eyebrows raised, gesturing to your plate. You look back at your plate continuing to push around your food, torn between asking Jeff what the hell just happened and forgetting it, pushing it down until it would eat you alive inside.

Your head was swimming. Jeff had never shown any interest in you before. You wanted to just write it off as him being too tipsy to know what he was doing even though subconsciously you knew he wasn’t drunk enough to not have any control over his actions. You’d seen that version of Jeff and the one sitting in front of you and the Jeff standing in your kitchen that had almost kissed you, wasn’t drunk nor was he close to being drunk.

The man you had loved for years, had almost kissed you. It was making your head spin.

Jeff takes your hand, pulling you out of your head. You focus on how his thumb runs across your knuckles and if you weren’t so caught up in what had just happened you would’ve fully grasped his hand and squeezed it.

“Hey, if something is wrong, you know you can always tell me, right?” Jeff says softly, dipping his head to try to catch your eyes but you can’t find it in you to look up at him. You’d lose all train of thought and say something stupid or nothing at all if you saw the concern set deep in his eyes or the fluttering of his eyelashes.

Sighing, you take a deep breath, pushing your food around your plate while you build up the courage to ask what popped into your head ten minutes ago, knowing you couldn’t look at Jeff when he inevitably shot you down and made an excuse for what happened.

“Why did you try to kiss me Jeff?” and it’s silent save for a song you don’t know the name of playing in the background. You spare a glance up at Jeff and his mouth opens and closes many times. You can feel your emotions get the best of you and maybe after all this is over you can blame it all on the wine and things will go back to how they used to be.

Ripping your hand away from Jeff, you push up from the table to finish cleaning up the dishes wanting to just go back in time and not let Jeff stay for dinner so none of this would’ve happened in the first place.

“Hey, no. Come here!” Jeff calls out to you, reaching for your hand only nearly missing your fingers as you walk to your sink. You can feel him lingering behind you, though, you ignore him, trying to pretend you were cleaning up when the only thing you were really doing was trying to hold back tears.

“No, Jeff. It’s fine. You’re drunk and lonely. I get it.” You say with a shrug. “Just a spur of the moment thing that we can now put behind us.” Your heart was literally aching and your hands were shaking with the force that you were using to stay calm about this all. You didn’t want to lose him over something as stupid as an almost kiss.

You were seriously trying to rationalize the situation because even if you were so in love with Jeff that sometimes it hurt, you valued what you had with Jeff too much to ruin it over you overreacting about something that didn’t even happen.

“What? No-”

“You need to leave.” You conclude deciding it would be best if you spent some time apart. You just needed time to be alone. To think things over.

“Y/n please just listen.” Jeff pleads and you can feel his fingertips brush over the back of your arm.

“Listen to what Jeff?” You ask, exasperated and frustrated, turning around from the sink, trying not to cry. You were face to chest with Jeff and it took your breath away, not expecting to be so close to him. You wanted to touch him and not have your heart feel like it was going to fall out of your ass. Sometimes you wished you had never fallen in love with him. Everything would be so much easier.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Jeff explains, reaching out for your hand, but you jerk it away, noticing the flash of hurt in his eyes. If he touched you, you’d fall apart right then and there.

“What? Didn’t mean to get drunk and play with my feelings like that?”

Jeff is silent, looking at you and you can see in his eyes he’s trying to figure out what to say, how to fix this. You wanted to hug him and forget about everything but your dumb brain couldn’t let this go.

“That’s real fucking rich Jeff. It makes sense I guess. I’m not one of your flings and I sure as hell don’t look like any of them. I’m curvy in all the wrong places and men don’t look my way twice so why the hell would I ever expect you to-” he cuts you off.

“I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU GOD DAMN IT!” Jeff yells, his chest heaving as he waits for you to say something, anything. All you can do is stare at him, your brain short circuiting. You don’t know what to say.

“Do you want to know why none of my flings never amount to anything more than that?” Jeff asks incredulously and you nod, almost scared to hear the answer.

“Because I’m so fucking in love with you that none of them are ever good enough to compare to you. They’re not you and it’s hard to want anyone else when all I can think about is you. And they notice too. God everyone notices. Everyone knows i’m so fucking in love with you but the one person I wanted to know has been standing in front of me for years and I’ve been too dumb and scared to tell her how I feel.”

Jeff is shaking his head at himself and you could honestly cry. How had you not noticed this all those years ago? 

“Jeff I didn’t know you felt like that. I’m so sorry.” You apologize, taking a tentative step towards him. You wanted to fix this and tell him exactly how you felt but the words seemed to get stuck over the lump in your throat.

“Yeah well, now you know. I- I guess I’ll just go.” Jeff gives you a sad smile, before turning with his head down to walk out of your apartment. You can’t seem to snap out of it, staring at his back as he leaves the kitchen. And once you can no longer see him, you realize this is what it would be like to not have Jeff in your life and you heart feels like it’s going to fall out of your ass and come up your throat all at the same time.You never want to experience that. He means too much to you to let him go this easy.

“Jeff wait!” You call, running to stand in your hallway, smiling so wide your cheeks hurt as he turns around, taking his hand off the door handle.

“I love you too.” You confess with shaking hands and a misting over your eyes. You watch as Jeff’s face goes from confusion, to realization, to joy as he’s rushing forward, moving to grab at your waist, your hips, any piece of you he can get his hands on.

“Really?” He asks, eyes wide the inklings of a smile beginning to form, squeezing your hips and pressing himself as close as he can get to you.

“God I’ve been in love with you since college.” You admit, looping your arms around his neck, fingers tangling into his hair. Jeff is smiling so wide his eyes are crinkling and his dimples are showing as he rests his forehead down on yours, complete and utter relief radiating from him.

“Ya know, if it makes you feel any better, I’d kiss you the same drunk or sober but I’d really like to kiss you now.”

With a slight nod of your head, Jeff is leaning down pressing his lips to yours. And it’s so good, everything you’d ever imagined and more and he tastes like red wine and Jeff and you couldn’t be more happy.

Reluctantly you pull away, taking a moment to catch your breath and appreciate the beautiful man standing in front of you. You’re so giddy and happy, almost unable to believe all of this is happening, that you can’t help but break out into giggles, Jeff following almost immediately.

Sobering up, you admire the view, rubbing your thumb over his cheek, just appreciating the red flush that has appeared in the past few minutes.

“You really did ruin my Valentine’s Day plans though.” You comment, leaning up to peck Jeff on the lips.

His eyebrows are furrowed when you settle back on the balls of your feet and it’s truly the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. You can’t help but bring his head down to your level and kiss the crease between his eyebrows, smiling when he wrinkles his nose at the gesture.

“I had it all planned out. I was gonna cook myself dinner and after take a bath and eat the stupid expensive chocolate I bought and drink my cheap wine and just relax.”

Jeff is grinning at you devilishly, pulling you closer and speaking low in your ear. “Don’t let me get in the way of your plans babe. Let’s go take that bath.”

Glancing back at your abandoned plates and dirty dishes piling up in your sink, you quickly decide this can all wait until the morning. You have more important things to attend to.

Taking Jeff’s hand, you grab the things you bought at the store, making Jeff grab your glasses and the bottle of wine, dragging him along with you to the bathroom.

Jeff can’t seem to keep his hands off of you or his lips for that matter so you move around the bathroom with him practically attached to you. Getting the bath water started with some bubbles and a bath bomb you spent way too much money on, you hand Jeff the bouquet of red roses you bought.

“Here, take the petals off these and throw them in the water please.”

Jeff gives you a funny look, but does as you ask anyway, pulling the petals off one by one. You’re preoccupied with lighting candles and setting up the show you’d queued up so when you hear Jeff talking you’re a little surprised. Turning around Jeff is sitting on the edge of the tub, smiling at you like crazy, a softness in his eyes that you’ve only ever seen him give to his mom.

“She loves me,” Jeff says, pulling a rose petal off the stem and dropping it into the water. Pulling another off, “She loves me not.” Jeff frowns completing the phrase, dropping the petal into the water with disgust. You watch him in awe, feeling your heart flutter every time he says the beginning of the phrase and covering your mouth to suppress a giggle as he finishes the old school saying with a look of disgust on his face.

As fate would have it, there’s one petal left when Jeff stands up, coming to a stop in front of you where you’ve been leaned against the sink for the past few minutes watching him. He glances down at the single rose petal, a softness to his features as he looks down at you. “She definitely loves me.” He whispers, dropping the petal to the floor. You’re distracted watching it flutter to the ground, but Jeff pulls your attention back to him with a finger under your chin, tilting your head up.

Jeff’s cradles your face with his fingers tangled in the hair at the base of your skull with his thumbs sweeping over your cheeks and brushing your hair away from your face. Looping your arms around his waist, you pull him close so his hips are pressed against your stomach, intoxicated by the press of his body on yours.

Jeff looks at you, his eyes twinkling as he leans forward and kisses your forehead, resting his lips there momentarily while you close your eyes and enjoy the soft moment. You could do this for the rest of your life and never get tired of it. Never get tired of Jeff.

And it’s like you’re moving through honey, soft and sweet, as Jeff tilts his head and molds your lips together. And it’s a slow make out session, neither of you in a hurry to take things further. You’re making up for lost time with no semblance of what’s to come next and it’s nice to live in the moment and not worry about what the future holds. Any future with Jeff in it is one you’re excited to be a part of.

You move your hands to the waistband of Jeff’s pants, pausing there, waiting for permission which Jeff gives to you in the form of a hum, never breaking your lips apart. Untying the strings of Jeff’s sweatpants you push them down over his hips, taking his boxer briefs with them, letting them drop and pool at his ankles. He steps out of them, moving to take your own shorts and panties off together, letting them drop and holding you close so you can step out of them.

Sliding your hands underneath Jeff’s t-shirt, you feel the hardness of his abs under your fingertips, forcing yourself to hold back a moan at how fit he actually was. He takes the hint eventually, pulling away to tug off his shirt, smiling at you as he reaches for the hem of your sleep shirt, helping you pull it over your head. Jeff audibly sucks in a sharp breath as he rakes his eyes over your body and you almost move to cover yourself, remembering the times when the looks you’ve received about your body weren’t so nice, but before you can Jeff is squeezing at your hips and your ass, crowding close to you. “God you’re so beautiful.” Jeff whispers against your mouth and it makes your heart flutter feeling like it’s going to beat out of your chest. You felt like you were soaring.

Pushing lightly at Jeff’s chest, you disconnect from each other, taking a moment to soak in everything you’re feeling. “C’mon lover boy. I’m cold and that warm bath is calling our names.” You tease, pushing Jeff towards the bathtub, leaning over to turn off the water now that it’s full enough and you swipe your hand through the bubbles and flower petals, testing the temperature.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” You hear Jeff swear behind you and you look over your shoulder at him with a raised eyebrow.

“You can’t just bend over like that and not- I - fuck.” Jeff was stumbling over his words as he flicked his eyes over your body torn between looking at your eyes and your ass and undoubtedly your breasts. You couldn’t help but giggle, glancing down and seeing his cock semi hard hanging between his thighs and it makes your mouth almost water.

“C’mere.” You say, making grabby hands at Jeff until he’s within touching distance and you can wrap your arms around his neck, pecking his lips a few times, before patting his chest and telling him to “get in.”

Jeff steps into the bathtub, sinking down into the water until his chest is half covered and he offers up his hand to help you step in. It’s more slippery than you expected and you foot slips sending water sloshing out over the sides, causing both you and Jeff to giggle uncontrollably.

Eventually you’re sitting between Jeff’s legs, settling back against his chest, relaxing into his hold. Reaching over to the table you’d set up beside the bath, you press play on the show you’d picked, taking a sip of your wine, settling the glass back down as the show began to play.

You only got halfway through an episode before Jeff began pressing kisses along your shoulder and up the side of you neck. You tried to ignore it, but it was quite obvious how much you were affected because your grip on Jeff’s arm that was wrapped around your tummy had significantly tightened as he continued kissing you anywhere he could reach.

“Jeff stop, you’re distracting me.” You complain, almost in a whine. And if you were being completely honest you didn’t really want him to stop. It was more of a principal thing because you’d agreed to take a bath and watch TV and drink wine and he was breaking your agreement.

“Hmm.” He only hums, pressing more kisses along your jaw until he’s eventually sucking and biting marks into your skin.

You can’t help but throw your head back against his shoulder with a breathy moan as he finds your sweet spot, sinking his teeth into your skin and soothing it with his tongue.

Jeff’s hands move around your body, just exploring, moving over the expanse of your thighs and hips until his hands move up to your chest, squeezing your breast in his palm, fingers tweaking and pulling your nipple until it’s hard and you’re buzzing from your head to your toes.

Shifting, more water sloshing out over the sides and onto your floor,you grip Jeff’s thigh under the water needing something to hold on to while he plays with your nipples.

You can only handle so much stimulation to your nipples before you’re ready to jump his bones, unable to ignore the throbbing in your core any longer. Sitting up, you turn around until you’re straddling Jeff as best you can, and it’s easier than expected, happy that you’d decided to purchase the biggest bathtub you could afford at the time because it was finally coming in handy.

“God you’re so beautiful. How’d I get so lucky?” Jeff murmurs, leaning up to press his lips to yours again with such force that you have to grip his shoulders to keep from falling back into the water.

Jeff’s tongue sweeps over the seam of your lips, seeking entrance into your mouth, though you deny him wanting to tease him a little bit. Jeff huffs against your mouth, squeezing your ass in his hands, pulling you close enough that you can feel his semi-hard cock against the inside of your thigh, that elicits a small moan from you, enough that Jeff bites down on your lip, sucking it into his mouth before letting go. And it’s probably the hottest thing any man has ever done to you, so when Jeff swipes his tongue across the seam of your lips again you allow him to go further, letting him lick into your mouth, sliding his tongue over yours.

It doesn’t last nearly long enough, Jeff pulling away to kiss along your jaw and down your neck, biting small marks into your skin as he moves lower down your neck, over your collarbones and shoulder, before he’s swirling his tongue around a nipple, eliciting a breathy moan from your lips. You cradle his head to your chest while he works your opposite nipple between his fingers, rolling and tugging the bud until it’s peaked and sensitive, your core throbbing at the smallest touch.

“Jeff please,” You moan out, reaching between your bodies to grasp Jeff’s hard cock, tugging it a few times, until he’s moaning into your chest.

“Fuck baby,” Jeff moans, leaning up to mold your mouths together again. Jeff shifts, sitting up more, moving you with him, his hard cock brushing against your core, causing both of you to let out swears. Jeff’s leg moves and you hear the all too familiar sound of the tub draining but you couldn’t care less as Jeff’s hand moves between your legs, his fingers easily finding your clit.

The water is completely gone from the bathtub and you can feel rose petals sticking to your skin, an unexpected moan falling from your mouth as Jeff’s finger slips inside you. Your head falls back as Jeff inserts two fingers, fucking them in and out of you, curling them on every in stroke, pressing against your g-spot. You can feel your orgasm building quickly in the pit of your belly and you move your hands from where they were around Jeff’s shoulders to grasp your breasts and tweak your nipples between your fingers.

“Fuck that’s hot.” Jeff comments, fucking his fingers into you faster, thumbing your clit with his other hand.

“Jeff please,” You plead, head thrown back. You were so close, could feel it in the way there was a thin sheen of sweat over your body and how your toes tingle and curled with every movement of Jeff’s fingers.

“Come on babe. Cum for me.” Jeff says, his voice gravelly and thick and that’s all it takes to push you over the edge, your body going stiff as your orgasm crashes into you, your mouth open in a silent moan.

Jeff’s fingers are still moving inside you, prolonging your orgasm, until you have to push his hand away, your walls fluttering around his fingers to the point you’re so sensitive that you could easily be pushed into another orgasm if Jeff moved his fingers just right.

You’re breathing hard, chest rising and falling rapidly as you try to catch your breath. You stutter in your movements, watching as Jeff sucks his fingers into his mouth, cleaning your cum from them, eyes closed as he moans around the taste of you. The sight alone makes you wish he had shoved his fingers in your mouth instead.

“You taste so good babe.” Jeff comments, licking into your mouth and you taste yourself on his tongue, a whine rising in the back of your throat, your cunt beginning to throb with need.

“Jeff,” You whine, circling your hips, seeking any sort of friction for your throbbing pussy, a high pitched moan slipping from your mouth when Jeff presses the pad of his thumb against your clit.

“Tell me what you want baby.” Jeff murmurs, words mumbled against your skin as he licks over your pulse point, soothing the mark he’d undoubtedly left there with his teeth.

“I want- fuck.” Your thought dies short as Jeff slips a finger inside you, slowly twisting and moving the digit inside you, your nails leaving crescent shapes in his bicep where you’d gripped his arm on reflex.

Jeff hisses with the bite of pain in his arm, his finger stilling in you long enough you can think straight and release the death grip you had on his arm. You tug on Jeff’s hair until he moves his head away from your neck, pulling his head up to your lips kissing him.

“I want you to fuck me.” you whisper against his mouth, sighing when he pulls his finger from you to grip your waist and his cock slides against your wet folds.

“So fuckin’ gorgeous baby,” Jeff whispers, burying himself inside you, both of you groaning at the feeling.

Jeff’s movements are slow as he grinds up against you, the bathtub making it hard to move in such a confined space but that makes it all that more intimate. With your foreheads pressed together, you cant your hips down, clit catching on Jeff’s pelvic bone, a breathy moan falling from your throat.

“So good for me darlin’,” Jeff mumbles, kissing you open mouthed and needy, stealing your breath away until your lungs are burning with need.

Jeff shifts changing the angle so the head of his cock is brushing against that special spot that makes you see stars, sweat breaking out over your temples, tingles shooting down from the base of your skull to the bottom of your spine, making you dizzy.

“Oh fuck,” you swear, holding on to Jeff’s shoulders, arching your back, pushing yourself closer to him. He takes the hint, taking your nipple in his mouth with the blunt edge of his teeth sliding over your sensitive skin, drawing a high pitched whine from you.

Pulling away, Jeff brushes his thumb over the curve of your breast, so gently that you clench around him suddenly closer to an orgasm than you’d previously thought.

“Are you close?” Jeff asks, grunting as you clench around him, his own orgasm fast approaching.

“Yes, Jeff. Please,” you beg, pressing your hips down, chasing your orgasm. Jeff searches out your clit, easily finding it and circling it with his thumb.

“I’ve got you. Come for me,” Jeff whispers, pressing firmly against your clit, thrusting so his cock is resting directly on your g-spot. “Now.”

Your orgasm slams into you, black spots dancing over your vision as your walls flutter around Jeff’s cock, sending Jeff spiraling into his own release with a shout of your name as he spills in to you. The feel of his come coating your walls sends you into another orgasm before the other even fully ends, sending your body into overdrive as you shake with the force of it.

You all but fall in to Jeff, gasping for air as he holds you close to him, his hand brushing down the dip of your spine and back up as you both catch your breath.

A few minutes pass and Jeff’s cock has softened inside you, the mixture of your cum having slipped out of you a while ago and was drying uncomfortably sticky on the insides of your thighs.

Pushing up from Jeff’s chest, you meet his eyes smiling gently at him before kissing him, settling comfortably into his embrace, pulling away enough to mumble an “I love you.”

“You were so good for me,” Jeff praises you, a blush settling high on your cheeks at the compliment, wanting to hide yourself away in his neck, but the grip he has on your waist prevents you from doing so.

Shifting, you feel Jeff’s cock brush against your g-spot, involuntarily clenching around him with a gasp, Jeff groaning into your neck at the action.

“Okay, I’m sticky and uncomfortable. Can we please just get out and take a shower,” You ask, your eyelids feeling heavy with exhaustion settling nicely into your muscles. 

“Of course baby. Round two?” Jeff smirks, giggling when you groan, but the fluttering of your pussy undoubtedly gives you away causing Jeff to wiggle his eyebrows at you.

“Shut up,” you mumble, crashing your lips together to silence Jeff, definitely ready for round two.

Walking into Key Bank Center with Skinner written on your back and with his hand entwined with yours wasn’t completely new to you. You had always wore his jersey to games, you had ever since college, so that wasn’t different. But wearing his jersey and cheering him on as his girlfriend definitely was new to the equation.

You’d had the talk after round two in the shower when you were cuddled up in bed. You had asked Jeff where you stood, still somewhat unsure if this meant you were dating or what and he only laughed at you, thinking him telling you he loved you and having sex with you not once but twice was enough of an indicator that he wanted to be with you for the long run. You don’t think you’d ever fallen asleep so happy or slept so soundly than you had last night with Jeff’s body molded around you and his breath against your neck.

And now walking with Jeff into the arena as a couple with a label, it all felt so surreal to you. Jeff nudges you with his shoulder, pulling you from your thoughts as you look over at him.

“What’s going on in that head of yours beautiful?” Jeff asks, squeezing your hand in a comforting gesture.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you,” you confess, heart leaping in your chest at the soft look Jeff gives you before he’s pulling you into his side and kissing your temple.

Jeff comes to a stop outside of the dressing room, walking you back until your back is against the wall opposite of the door so he can rest his hands on the curve of your waist and blanket you with his body, almost like he’s hiding you from the rest of the world.

Jeff’s eyes are sweeping over your face, hands moving up to cradle your cheeks in his palms, leaning down to lightly peck you on the lips.

“I love you.” Jeff whispers, brushing your hair away from your face with a small smile.

“I love you too,” You pause, looping your arms around his waist and pulling him closer, enjoying the warm press of his body against yours. “Gonna score a goal for me?” You tease, knowing he’d been on a dry spell, going a few games without a goal and it was only driving him a little bit crazy, though he’d never admit it.

“Of course baby. Anything for you.” Jeff winks, giggles bubbling up through your chest, Jeff smiling into your hair at the sound. He’d never get tired of that sound, never get tired of you.

“I’ll see you after, okay?” Jeff says quietly and when you nod, he kisses you softly like he has all the time in the world and doesn’t have a game to play.

There’s a commotion behind the two of you a bunch of “oh shit,” “holy fuck,” and low whistles sounding off the walls that has you pulling away and peeking over Jeff’s shoulder to see a group of his teammates staring at the two of you. You bury your face in the lapel of Jeff’s suit jacket, hiding your flushed cheeks away from the watchful eyes of the group of men behind you. Jeff can’t help but smile, holding your head to his chest as he turns to address his teammates.

“Don’t you idiots have something you need to be doing?” Jeff chirps, rubbing soothing circles into your back and you all but melt into him.

It’s a rush of noise and chatter, all of them talking over each other that you can’t make out a single word they’re saying. “Alright you can leave now so I can say goodbye to my girlfriend in peace.”

Your heart flutters at Jeff calling you his girlfriend and you don’t think you’d ever be able to get used to it. It falls silent again until someone mutters out a “finally” before the sound of their footsteps and chirps fade down the hallway.

You lift your head up, meeting Jeff’s gaze with a small smile. “I love you. Go out there and kill ‘em tiger,” You say, leaning up on your toes to kiss Jeff goodbye, smiling all the way down the hallway back to your seat, almost in disbelief that this was your life now.

And it was pretty much a sweet surrender from then on out.

[kaifireheart-blog]

Crisis on infinite earths prediction/theories

Sorry for any miss spellings ahead of time.

I tricked myself into thinking that today (the 10th) is when the shows came back I was wrong and now have too much time and too may idea to just sit tight and wait till the 14th so here are the ideas for anyone who cares or is curious.

1. Regardless if you like her or not Lena Luthor should be not have died. Honestly she should have be a Paragon of something at least (maybe humanity now that we know that's a thing). The only reasons I say this are because Lex Luthor tricked his way into becoming the Paragon of Turth (bullhewy if you asked me) but point is is that you don't bring back someone to not have them interact ever with the person they hurt most. (Which undoubtedly is Lena in my mind.) Also she killed him the first time, and is his sister. Not having them interact would be a waist.

1b. Lex Luthor at the end of the supergirl episode leading to crisis said to the monitor something along the times of let's talk about my sister in regards to negotiating his help. I think he asked the monitor to make sure no matter what Lena lived. Why? Because if he asked for her to die no matter what the show would have told us that. As it would futher prove Lex his a horrible person and add dramma knowing that even if Lena was on the ships at the end to make it to earth 1 she would die. Also Lex for as horrible as a person he is still cares for Lena in some weird mess up brother way. (Either that or he realizes that shes as smart as him if not morr and he needs that to take over the world if he can turn her to his side.) Because of his wish/condition to help the monitor I believe that Lena should be/is in that space (what ever it's called) where everyone ends up in the cliffhanger.

2. Kara Zor-El. Kara just lost her entire culture, race and blood family again for the second time. Then fought to keep her adopted world alive only to be yanked to earth 1 instead of dying trying to protect it like I'm sure she would without a second thought. After that she's told she's supposed to be the Paragon of Hope, the one person on infinite earth's who embodies hope the most. Then Lex Luthor comes back and gets protection from the monitor under the guise of everyone has a part even Lex. And of course the bows keep coming as the anit monitor kills everyone and earth 1 the last earth spinning. Shes now stuck back into a timeless space whole just like when she was a kid fleeing an exploding krypton. Granted she has people with her, which probably helps. But oh no another twist and Lex Luthor kills superman (again) and becomes the new Paragon of Truth.

2b. Now while that. Was a huge recap of what is going on in the show I wanted to bring it to attention. Why? Because Kara Zor-El has not had time to prosses and greave at all. We see her have hope to bring them all back by using the book but that it's grieving that's bartering to try and never have to prosses grief. After all if it gets reversed it never happened so she can just shove the feelings down. Like she has done many times in the show about other traumatic things that have happened to her. She needs to get angry, and I'm talking the level of angry that has Kate Kane (Batwoman) forced to use that kryptonite that they show has be showing us and building up to something. I need her to go off on Lex about all the things he's done to her (and Lena). Basically I want her to lose it and project all of her feelings (anger hatred sadness loss) onto Lex even if he didn't do all of the bad things to her. While I know that's not every Supergirl of her as she is know for not killing, using violence as a lost resort, and is the Paragon of Hope. Even she can break frankly her breaking to an extreme like this is overdue.

3. Putting the last things together we have a plot like that makes sense (with the supergirl show st least admittedly the only one I watch other that batwoman. I am getting to the others.) If Kara is going off on Lex fighting though all the other Paragons (she's the strongest there fight me) and is close to maybe killing him or hurting her friends, forcing Kate to use kryptonite to try and stop her. I think Lena (who weather you ship supercorp or not cares and loves Kara very much) if she's there and hears Kara go off on Lex about everything he's done and how much he's hurt on only her but Lena herself would hopefully start the process of healing/trusting supergirl again in Lena. Because there is no alternative motivation in what supergirl says to manipulate her if supergirl has no idea Lena is even there.

3b. If this happens I see two ways for it to go down. 1. Kara is going a bit crazy in her (justified) anger and Kate steps in to use the kryptonite and Lena stops her and talks Kara down herself. Or 2. Kara is going a bit crazy in her (still justified) anger and Kate is thinking about using the kryptonite or is about to when Kara sees Lena and stops herself suddenly being filled with hope again at seeing Lena alive. (Admittedly this second one works way better if they sre gonna make supercorp cannon. Which I personally hope they do.) Or 3. Lena before Kate even uses the kryptonite (or after uses it and Kara is weak) kills Lex again. (Though I do think she might be the one to kill him again no matter the scenario.) Which would probably make Kara calm down as she would be worried about Lena more that her own grief. Or even sees Lena about to kill him again and stops her herself and then they both kind of help each other keep hope. (Kind of just relieved all three of these lend a bit to supercorp but oh well.)

Note: There could be and are many many other ways that this could go down even with Lena there and Kara being mad these are the the ones I see. (Though they could just have Jhon Marshon man kill Lex but I wouldn't like that much as he's Kara and Lenas foil to deal with. As it was him who caused the rift in there relationship -even though some if that is admittedly both of there faults- it would just not sit right with me if Jhon killed him.)

Now for those that think this would make the show supergirl take up too much time as this would revolve around really only there show's plot line. You would be somewhat correct. But I don't think it would as the ideas I proposed would only take a sold 5 or so minutes to do. (The rest of the greaving/healing/reuniting between Kara and Lean can happen on the supergirl show, though this does give them a headstart.) Also I argue that supergirl (the show not the character thoughyou coule probably make an appointment for the character as well) is already basically the main one in the crisis right now. A lot of the plot has revolved around Lex and him killing all the superman's on the different earth's. And also 3 of the 7? paragons are from supergirl (even more so after Lex becomes the Truth Paragon). So it's already kind of takes over a bit. What's a bit more, plus Lena Luthor would be a great mind to add to the mix to help figure out a way to bring back all the earth's. Also this in no way impairs the ability of the crisis to bring back Oliver as the specter or what ever part he's gonna have. Which is a whole different discussion.

Anyway my thoughts (not thst they matter) on how they could/should take (at least the start of the next episode). Hopefully it was easy enough to understand and make sense. And someone out there can maybe see this happening and I'm not typing out of my ass here.

[soranihimawari]

No Risk, No Reward

taglist: @kaidasen

Side notes: part 3 of this tale and well i hope you like some cafe banter and maybe some calculus problems. this was my favorite conversation(s) to write between muda, akaashi, and bokuto, lol.

next >>

__________________________________________________

ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟛:

18:17

To: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Frm: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

Waiting on you guys to show up and I texted Bo-kun. He said you weren’t coming? What the hell Akaashi? It’s not my turn to babysit him

18:38

To: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

From: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Listen, Bokuto literally begged me to have you tutor him (last minute mind you because I knew you were home right now), Hotaru-san [1/2]

We were in a practice match and he just freakin’ blurted it out of left field after  he was called out by our coach for his low grade in the trigonometry quiz this week. Then he went into his “dejected-emo mode,” and to make matters worse, he heard from Kaori-senpai archery club is going to be disbanded by the student council. He got all worked up and every time he kept missing the tosses Shuichi was giving him. Bokuto means well, and he’s a big dumbass because he doesn’t know how to properly act around you. 

TLDR: just lecture Bokuto about sin cos and tan today. 

18:40

To: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Frm: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

…? Bokuto’s always been the kind one Keiji-san. Did Bo-kun actually catch feelings for me? Or are you just being snarky with that? 

18:41

To: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Frm: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

ISTG AKAASHI-BOKE! YOU BETTER OPEN THIS WHEN YOU GET HOME! >..< 

                                                   After reading Akaashi’s essay of a text, I propped open my thermos and began drinking the warm tea in hopes of hiding my grin. Oh no, is Bokuto starting to catch feelings for me? Oh crap! I thought. This can’t be happening, bonk that noise. Let’s do some calculus homework!  

I nodded my head back and forth like an Etch & Sketch. I then took out my notebook and calculus textbook in order to prep my mindset for trigonometry tutorials. 

Once I got into my studious rhythm, I had thoroughly solved two limit equations where one answer yielded “the limit does not exist,” and the other was just a graph of a function, f(x) = x3 − 3x + 2.

I saw a hand reach out for my parfait and I smacked it away.

“Oww,” Bokuto yelped. “I was just going to taste one spoonful Hotaru-chan!”

“You’re late Bokuto,” I mused. “So no parfait for you!” 

I picked up my spoon and took another portion into my mouth. The blueberry tartness made my facial muscles contract into a slight pout. I was humming along to the cafe playlist absentmindedly when Bokuto pulled out the chair across from me and sat down. We sat in silence for a few minutes as I let him settle down post-volleyball practice. He took out his notebook and without even thinking, he leaned into my personal space bubble. I had to lower my gaze away from his because I had one final equation to complete before I could devote some time to a proper tutoring session.  

“Are you going to be ok Hotaru?” 

“Yeah, why do you ask Bo-kun?”

“...,” he paused for a moment before continuing; his silver hair was being swayed by the air vent on top of our table. I smiled gently because I know Bokuto usually has trouble with trying to say many thoughts at once but he does have a particular sweet tooth (i.e. he loves lemon ice pops on a spring morning; appreciates me coming to all the volleyball matches especially if Nekoma’s captain is involved (and the fact that he kept the friendship owl-origami Akaashi and I made for him on his birthday last year). He had a hard time communicating properly, but his body language telegraphed to me that what Akaashi’s text said was true. 

“If this is about the archery club being dissolved by our student council, then don’t worry ab-”

“I do worry about you because you’re the coolest captain our school’s ever had!” 

“Coming from the captain of the volleyball club that sounds more like an insult.”

“You don’t mean that, right?” His eyes were darting all over the place and suddenly, I wished I hadn’t said that aloud.

“Bokuto, of course I don’t mean that, but have you or Akaashi ever come to any of my tournament matches?” I closed my calculus textbook after I had copied the last problem in pencil in my notebook.

“No, we haven’t. It’s not like we can pick and choose when our matches are either.”

There was a silent rage building in the back of my mind and maybe now wasn’t the time nor the place to say this to my friend, but he needed the reality check since he’s the ace.

“Kotaro, please hear me out as a fellow captain first then as your friend second.”

I closed my notebook and stuck the spoon inside my parfait glass; I pushed the dessert toward his side of the table and he began to pick at the whipped lemon-zest flavored cream.

“OK, Hotaru. I’ll listen, but man! This whipped cream is amazingly refreshing!” 

I chuckled at his childlike wonder when it came to beautiful and photogenic desserts. Wait a second, has Bokuto always seemed this handsome in the evening sky? Oh, oh no. I thought. I shook my head in order to tuck those nsfw thoughts away in the back of my mind. I took in a deep breath and on my exhale, I started to stare into the space behind his head where the window to the outside public was. 

“I’m the only member of the archery club left in Fukurodani, Bokuto. All my third year senpais graduated in our second year. You and Akaashi were always so busy and dedicated to your own club that you even got to be in the top five aces of Japan. I’ve been to every single match I could because I was able to finish my practices early enough to catch some of the highlights on the evening news.

“You never asked me once when my tournaments were or what the awards ceremonies were like. Akaashi is equally as guilty because you’re always together with the club or hanging out with other teammates during away training camps.” 

“Well, those were trips arranged by our coach and managers, but that can’t be helped. Are you angry at me? What did I do wrong?”

“Ko, please listen to me first and you didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t stay mad you (or Akaashi) forever, but I need to say this so you can understand what is making my voice sound bitter.”

He folded his arms over the table and leaned forward almost as if he wanted to receive some sort of praise but with his stare being more obvious now, I had lost my train of thought.

Bokuto is many things to the outside world (loud, kind, ace, etc), but for right now, I needed to level with him as a captain and set aside our mutual friendship for once. When this conversation would cease, would he still want to give it his all on his court? Will my emotions cause me to lose my sense of pride as an archer or worse, his and Akaashi’s camaraderie?

“The student council told me that when the inter-high games start up again for volleyball, I was given a month left to clear out and organize the archery club belongings. My mornings are spent alone on the target fields, Kotaru. I set up and clear out an hour before classes begin because I know the other sports teams need the space. 

After my meeting today,  Kaori and Yukie saw me sauntering off into the faculty office to let our maths-sensei know what had occurred minutes prior. That’s why Kaori asked Akaashi about me and when I heard you were having a rough day too, Akaashi told me you were going to meet here like we always did for our tutoring sessions.”

I closed my spiral notebook with a solemn face. Bokuto, who is usually brash and fearless was eerily quieter since his voice was softer than normal when he spoke to me.

“I didn’t know you practiced alone in the mornings, if I did, then maybe I would have texted Shuichi or Akaashi to help you. Hell, even if I would have woken up too.”

I reached out to place a hand on his right shoulder to show I had appreciated the gesture, but I pushed my calloused fingertips on to the knots that were forming there. Being an ace is tough work, but being an archer has left my hands “unpretty” with calloused fingertips. 

“Did you or Akaashi know that I’m in the top three inter-high archers for our prefecture? Did you know that I have fired nearly three hundred arrows since we gained club captain status?” I inquired. “That’s almost the same amount as spike tosses Akaashi practices with you in like the last four years alone.”

I felt the sting of my own angry tears glaze over and even if Bokuto was maybe three hours overdue for another deject-mode, he got all mopey again because I invaded his personal space bubble without meaning to. He was able to relax a little bit while the tensed knots loosened; I noticed he was looking at my right hand because it was swiftly tucking away pens into my messenger bag pocket. I released my firm grip off his shoulder when he reached out to hold my hand in his. 

If this were a shojo romance, maybe this would have been an amazing meet-cute idea to introduce the main couple. However, Nanase Ohkawa did not write my life with the parliament of owls, although Cardcaptor Sakura was the only magical girl manga I truly loved. I actually was more interested in reading more horror manga at this point in my life since I was a fan of early 1930-1950s monster films (cira the Twilight Zone reruns on YouTube) nowadays anyway.

“Your hands are rough,” Bokuto stated in an empathetic tone.  “They’re pretty though. I like how they feel calloused from your bow. Do you want me to hold your hand?”

Smooth as hell, this one, but thick headed when it came to trigonometry, I thought. I shrugged my shoulder and extended my other hand to him.

“I have two hands, Bokuto,” I said. His laughter shook through his entire body. Two of us can be as sweet as we wanted because we were too stubborn to admit that maybe, just maybe, we might actually like each other in the same way as when someone hands you a warm cup of hot chocolate on new years’ eve. 

“Can I walk you home like this?” Bokuto raised our linked hands.

“Of course, but first, I need you to tell me what the difference is between sin, cos, and tan.”

[do-kyngsoo]

i feel the same way about kolo (ksoo solo). at the beginning of the year there were rumors hed be in a subunit called sky w chanyeol and jongin or smthn but no. idk if it's him who doesnt want it bc hes busy w acting, but ik a lot of ppl are waiting for an r&b album from him. ive been waiting for a chansoo unit since like growl era but since chanyeol is in sc now, i dont see that happening

I don't think it's that he doesn't want it, there are a lot of accounts of him saying he wants to do a solo, one time where at a fansign where a fan asked if he was doing an ost for his movie and he said sm was heavily against it, he's said a few times that he wishes he could be a part of cbx too, not to mention all the times that he's with chanyeol in the studio composing songs and writing lyrics. So i highly doubt that he doesn't want to or that he wants to just focus on acting, tbh i think most of that are words coming from non ksoo stans who would prefer him to stay away from singing so their bias could have more opportunities which is sad but fans are like that i guess 😔

All the times chanyeol or jongin said they wanted to be in a unit with ksoo definitely got my hopes up too (ive basically been waiting for a chansoo unit since i became a fan lool) but exo sc did a great job and im glad it happened because until obsession dropped what a life was my favourite album for the year

And another thing i've seen a lot is people (again non ksoo stans) saying that sm probably doesn't think his album would do well which honestly is laughable. Ksoo is arguably the most popular exo member in korea through his acting, I mention this case every time but the fact that during exolympics ksoo was one of the top trending on his own in korea (and japan) because people didn't know that private won from along with the gods was actually an idol singer, ksoo has brough exo a lot of male and older female fans through his acting too just because they were curious to know more about him.

If you combine that with the stats for that's okay, this unpromoted station song topped the charts when it was released, it stayed in the top 100 for a long time (i think months) and then if you compare it to other sm solo releases

2 of the songs above it were released months before it and were part of full promoted albums (with music shows and interviews etc) and the last song was released a few weeks after and was an ost for an extremely popular drama for the year (plus taeyeon is a digital beast so its to be expected lool). I'm not saying this to put others down because they fully deserve the figures they have but my point of it is to show that if ksoo can get these kind of figures on the other artists levels for a single unpromoted song with an mv that doesn't even have him in it then imagine what he could have done with a full album and a bit of promotion 🤷🏽‍♀️ plus so many idols and other korean celebrities have all recommended his song, said that ksoo is the idol they would want to collab with and when describing the song mentions the lyrics (that ksoo wrote) and ksoos voice as the main reasons they like the song so the boys got talent but we knew that 😂

i always go on a super long rant with these and i'm sorry to my followers for this but i feel like ksoos solo is LONG overdue, he is a MAIN vocalist yet has hardly ever been treated that way by sm (don't even ask me about the list of how many solo, collab and unit songs ksoo has released compared to the other members...it makes for extremely depressing reading and i wish i never looked)

but also i'm mad at a lot of other member stans disregarding ksoo as a main vocalist too and trying to use the excuse of him acting as a reason for why he shouldn't sing and especially knowing that their reasons for saying this are really selfish, they should support every member instead of trying to push one to the side

bottom line: sm better give ksoo his solo album when he returns or i will personally find lee soo man to yell at him