#why are we waking up to shit like this of all things??

[elsa-fogen]

Yep. Yeah. That's me. Almost all of it, except, i sleep well (if i manage to fall asleep) Reblogging because maybe some of you didn't know (i also didn't know)

Story time!

Too long don't read: used to sleep on private math lessons because i hate math; it takes hours for me to fall asleep WHEN I SUPPOSED TO, and my sister does it in 3-5 minutes.

I was studying at university and we had MATH there I've always had problems with it. since 5th grade i think (well, i hated math before too but real problems started there) when i changed schools and the new class was behind what I've already studied and i didn't pay attention, until i realized that at some point I was behind. I said "welp, i guess it's to late to try, so fuck it"

So at university we had this very high level math and i just couldn't understand a thing (and we had an awful teacher who was saying evvvvery time something like "yall getting expelled, we're all gonna die") so i decided "if i don't understand, fuck it then, i will not even try" and started skipping math classes.

But i STILL had to pass an exam, we were getting 3 tries and if you fail you're getting expelled. I failed first two what a surprise (i don't know how i managed to pass it after all, i can't remember SHIT, only that i is fucking non-existing number which is square root of -1. Why on earth would you need it i have NO fucking clue.

So i had personal teachers who tried to make me understand at least something to pass the exam. And there was one i remember very well, i even remember that we paid her 10$ per hour (for us that was quite a lot). And i remember her because i was SLEEPING. I just COULDN'T keep my eyes opened. She explains something about deviding by zero and my brain draws the fucking universe collapsing in front of my eyes. She gives me some task, I'm trying to write something and I'm falling asleep and DREAMING about writing, then ahe wakes me up and i see that i didn't write SHIT. It all ended when in the middle of lesson she just kicked me out.

And, what a miracle, I'm leaving her apartments and suddenly, all the sleepiness just wanishes! I'm walking home, thinking about some another AU of mine, roleplaying it with myself in my head, full of energy again.

That's not the only case of this, but it's the strongest i ever felt. But that like happens all the time, EVEN WHEN MY MOM OR MY GRANNY COMES TO ME AND START TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING I'M NOT INTERESTED, IM YAWNING AND FEEL URGE TO FALL ASLEEP. But the moment they leave, It goes away! I was calling it work allergy LMAO

I was diagnosed with adhd in my early childhood (there was also something about epilepsy, but it's ok now so it doesn't matter), not long ago i brought this fact back into my active memory (thanks to Jaiden animations ADHD video for that xD) i kinda used to myself by now and now I'm trying to catch and analyse all moments of adhd kicking in. I know my own tricks and buttons, how to make myself do the thing or just how to force myself into doing something. Because i know if i start, I'll probably lock in and won't get up until it's done (well, if i have at least a tiny bit of interest in that thing, or else i won't), and i hate it when someone interrupts me in the middle of the process. No mom, i can't come right now, i can't finish it later, because i either spend few more hours forcing myself to go back to the task or just forget about it.

But i didn't know that this sleepiness was a legit symptom! I just thought that it's exaderated boredom, that's it, had a joke name for it. That's... Funny to know that this thing is actually also adhd moment.

Also, about sleeping. I have problems falling asleep. I may lie in the bed for hours without even my phone, just rotating my stories in my head, and when i don't have a story to think about, this is just the name of my current hyperfixation with different tones and in different random dialogues that doesn't even make sense. I have no idea how to fall asleep, except when i didn't sleep for like 48 hours (EVEN THEN IT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM AND I START THINKING OF THAT CREEPY PRION SICKNESS AND SCARE MYSELF AGAIN). And my mom told me that it have always been like that with me. She and my dad had the whole ritual to make me fall asleep. Dad would hold me in his arms, his head with me covered with a blanket that i could only see his face (or else I would look everywhere and never fall asleep), and rock me for HOURS while i was SCREAMING and CRYING the whole time like i was tortured. But when I'd finally fall asleep, they could be as loud as usual and didn't have to whisper, because wake me up is a whole different story. And my mom was SHOCKED when all it took to make my sister fall asleep was just pet her back for 3-5 minutes.

I don't think of myself as... Sick or ill. That's how i was all my life, i don't know anything else. That's not a sickness to me, that's just part of my personality. Maybe sometimes some parts of it bite me in the ass and make my life harder, but i don't know other life. That's the only one I've got, and i guess I'm fine with that (tho now that i think about it, i need to pay more attention to how i write the characters, and don't make them all ADHDshers LOL i need to study neurotypical people under a microscope 🔬🔍)

bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺

[guiltycorp]

Even though I loved the writing of LoL Jayvik I really appreciate that Arcane is going for a different approach so far, makes things feel less predictable! Instead of ideological differences driving the divide between them it is more so that they are just... out of sync so far?? I mean, during last season Viktor even before his diagnosis was eagerly meddling with the Hexcore with little regard to safety, then straight up went for the illicit and damaging drug to facilitate the transformation process, then when he ran out of that drug he proceeded to try using Hexcore without it (when he already TESTED that on plants and should have known it would backfire) which killed Sky... At which point he went oh shit, ok, I should stop meddling with this thing and just die peacefully maybe. It's not very clear how much of that he told Jayce aside from making him promise to destroy the Hexcore, but Jayce's surprised reaction in s2 when hearing about Sky makes me think it wasn't much at all...? So Jayce doesn't feel as much of an asshole for, once again, going against Viktor's explicit wishes. He pretty much never has the full picture before being forced to make a decision! Idk it makes him very sympathetic to me ngl, just feeling more and more guilt but continuing to fuck up due to lack of knowledge and experience, is that not relatable? And aside from being entirely unprepared for Viktor's death even after s1 I think it's like Jinx says in this Act too, it was something he could fix for once... Perhaps this is why he agrees to the use of Hextech weapons, too, feeling like it's the only thing he can do to 'help' the people he cares about and protect himself too (I guess killing just 1 defenseless child wasn't enough of a learning moment for him lmao). Despite again, this going very much against Viktor's wishes (and Mel's!! we didn't get her with Jayce after this but I imagine she's not very happy with him either... Viktor&Mel team up when). This time Jayce is the one just going for it and hoping for the best despite knowing very little of how it works. I also love how a lot of us in the fandom and also Singed in the series assumed Jayce would be appalled by Viktor's experiments but instead... he immediately goes even further :D And when Viktor wakes up and goes bye Jayce is like ?? but then by the end of the next episode he starts to realise that ohh alright so maybe yeah they should have stopped... Who'd have thunk. I'm not super up to date with League lore but is it really that difficult to find a sane mage for consultation purposes? ...Also I really doubt that hitting that thing (wild rune?) with his hextech-powered hammer was a good move lmao and yet even in this it seems similar to what Viktor is currently doing. Both continue to use the arcane to try and fix things, Jayce through violence and Viktor through transmutation, but it kind of seems like the same kind of mistake. (they are just pretty bad scientists and always have been and i love that for them lmao)

[watarfallar]

*gay braincell tossing*

Scar: Do you have any idea what you’re doing? Grian: Why start now?

Grian: I love you. Scar: I love me too.

Grian: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. Scar: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

Scar: Snow got me feeling some type of way. Grian: That's hypothermia.  Scar: Damn, the paramedics told me it was the magic of Christmas.

Grian: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life. Scar: Please never become a surgeon.

Scar: *gets set on fire and screams in agony* Scar: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

Scar: Damn, the power went out. Grian: Don’t worry, I got this. Grian: *stomps foot* Scar: What-? Grian: *Sketchers light up*

Grian: We either die free, or die trying! Scar: Are those the only choices?

Scar: I’m totally useless. Grian: You’re not totally useless. Grian: You can be used as a bad example.

Scar: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue? Grian: Technically a mix of green and blue? Scar: So blurple. Grian: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple. Scar: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE? Grian: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

Scar: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?! Grian: ... Scar: Oh, right. The lying.

Grian: You’re not jealous, are you? Scar: No! Grian: Good, ‘cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.

Scar: And what did we learn, Grian? Grian: Tackling someone isn’t the correct response to being asked a simple question.

Scar: You know, it’s fine to admit you were wrong. Grian: *Sipping their drink after accidentally adding salt* I just like the way it tastes.

Scar: You are a solid 11/10. Grian: Aw, thank- Scar: Which is 1.1 because you look like shit.

Scar: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Grian? Grian: …Not really. Scar: Nothing? Grian: Tell you one thing I have learnt—Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.

Grian: Kill him. Scar: This is the kind of quality advice I look for.

Scar: There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.

Grian, texting: Scar, will you please go to sleep? Scar, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up? Grian, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP! Grian, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon? Scar, texting: I’m trying Grian, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH Grian, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)

Scar: I’m a masochist, not a loser.

Scar: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff. Grian: Oh, that was all real. Scar: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?! Grian: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.

Grian: *spins around in chair ominously* I’ve been expecting y- *chair continues to spin* shit *tries to stop spinning* shit *tries to grab a table to stop spinning* sHIT *falls out of chair*

Grian: I’m not stupid, you know. Scar: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it!

Scar: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you. Scar: Ask me to kill for you. Grian: ...First of all, calm down-

Scar: Grian, you’ve tried 37 times and you’ve failed every time. Give it a break. Grian: DO I HEAR “FIRST TRY PART 38?”

Grian: I know how this must look but I can assure you we have a perfectly logical explanation. Scar: Yeah! We’re cowards!

Scar: *holds a gun out to Grian* Grian: I-I don't believe in guns. Scar: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

Scar: I owe you one. Grian: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

Grian: I hate you with every inch of my body! Scar: That’s not a lot of inches.

Scar, to Grian: You drink too much, swear too much, and your morals are highly questionable. Grian: … Scar: You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a best friend.

Scar: I need a long word. Grian: T-rex but the long one.

Grian: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

Grian: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go. Scar: Those are wanted posters!

[raointean]

I actually love the idea that Billy and William fused instead of just body-hoping. William would have died if Billy didn't come in and they fused! I love him saying that he has a mom because adoption right 🎉

Yes! The alternative is just too sad for me. As for the adoption thing, it's NOT just this fandom that struggles to understand bio vs. adoptive parents. I'm in the Star Wars fandom and there are SO MANY PEOPLE that refer to Anakin and Padmé as Luke and Leia’s "real" parents. Meanwhile, Owen, Beru, Bail, and Breha are called kidnappers or just ignored entirely (yes, I loved the Obi-Wan show. Why do you ask?)

I think the same problem is sometimes happening in this fandom too. We know Wanda and Vision as characters and we want them to be a happy family. We do NOT know Rebecca and Jeff Kaplan nearly as well, so there's a tendency to want to take the child from the characters we don't know as well and give him to the characters we know, like, and want to be happy.

On a slightly happier note, here's all my headcanons about Billy Kaplan's life (not Billy Maximoff or William Kaplan, but the entity that is both of them)

As William's heart stopped, his soul separated from his body and was on its way to wherever Jewish people go when they die

Billy M's soul, at the same time, was fleeing because it didn't have a body to support it

He found William's body easy enough to get into (because a soul had just left it) and close enough to alive to be fixed

However, William's soul was in between Billy M and the body

Billy M could have gone around and been the only soul in the body, but he was scared, okay?

Poor guy was only a couple days old, alone for the first time ever, and his mom had just kinda killed him and the rest of his family

Long story short, Billy M crashes into William and drags them both into the body

Billy M fixes the body just enough to keep living, but doesn't bother too much about the head injury

Meanwhile, William is stuck to Billy M like silly putty when you have two different colors and, by the time they get to the hospital, the two colors have blended entirely to form a new color

There's no way to differentiate one from the other

Billy Kaplan is born!

Because Billy M didn't fix the head injury, they both have amnesia

Billy K wakes up and it's literally "no thoughts, head empty"

(Except for some lingering sensation of loneliness... like there should be something someone? else there)

But not for long because he soon discovers he can hear other people's thoughts!

Which is really funny because he doesn't know that other people can't hear his thoughts

Poor guy genuinely thinks that humans communicate via telepathy for a solid 24 hours before he gets enough weird looks that he puts two and two together

(His parents are totally aware of this

There's only so many times your kid can answer exactly the thought going through your head without you catching on

Also, this is the Marvel universe!

Shit like this just... happens sometimes

They figure he'll come to them when he's ready, and until then they'll think nice thoughts and be supportive)

Billy K spends a solid four months trying to remember who he was before, stealing memories from his parents' heads, and pretending to recover from the amnesia

(Rebecca and Jeff try so hard not to make him feel like they're just waiting for their old son to come back but...)

Four months in, Billy's at the mall with his mom on some errands and that's where he sees it

Hot Topic

He begs his mom to go in there, and it's the first really normal teenage thing he's done since the car crash so she lets him

For the first time in four months, Billy forgets all about car crashes, and memories, and hospitals, and expectations

All that exists is spiky jewelry, ripped black skinny jeans, and a million of those cheap and hilarious pins

Over time, the family settles into his "new normal" and chalk most of it up to teenage experimentation

In that three year period though, Billy can't shake the feeling that something's still missing

He feels out of place in his body, even with the new aesthetic

(He sees that one tumblr comic about the coocoo bird and cries-- a lot. It's the closest he ever gets to telling his parents about his out-of-place feeling)

He doesn't tell them though

Instead, he digs and digs into the weirdest, darkest, most demented corner of the internet

Reddit

[mistresscitrusslice]

Thank you so much for going through the effort to even get screenshots! It’s seriously appreciated.

You make a good point, not least of which because this circle looks like a blast zone that came from within. It even pushed other bodies away. I’ve never seen Kindred gameplay, idk what their protective powers look like, but generally spells that are cast on you by someone else use the caster as the center of the spell, not the target. (Basically, the blast circle wouldn’t have been centered on Ambessa, but on the Wolf.)

The protected area around Mel and Jayce when they wake up doesn’t look like a blast zone the way it did with Ambessa (other than, you know, the Actual Bomb), so I’m not sure what to make of that.

I did not know that Ambessa had a bio already, let alone that included stuff from her music video! I thought she just had her blurb. It’s great that they clarified who she was pregnant with eventually. Uh, where’s Kino while she’s out at war then??? I imagine that Kino’s father was probably also a soldier and in the army too. Hopefully Kino was with relatives or family friends.

Also, Rokrund! It’s nice to get a name for the specific region Ambessa is from other than just the wider nation of Noxus. Is this a new name we’re hearing or has it appeared in any other League lore/media before?

“Visions that she would speak of to few others.” I wonder who those few are. Given how she treats her children, I cannot trust that even her kids are among these few. Their dad, maybe? I hesitate to say “Ambessa’s husband” because she definitely does not act like she has a husband, or maybe he’s deceased.

I plead the fifth on the Solari stuff because I know jack shit about the Solari, and if it turns out that Mel does have Solari magic, I do want to be surprised by their lore.

It still puzzles me why, if she does have magic, she wouldn’t use it to defend herself. You mentioned it being linked to situations with certain death. I’m iffy on this because it feels convoluted and kind of like a cop-out if that really is the reason can’t use it at will. If it is the case, though, then maybe Viktor wasn’t hurt because his magic clashed with hers, but because his death wasn’t guaranteed. I rewatched the opening scene, and he was still moving a little when Jayce performed Hexcore magic on him. If his death wasn’t certain, then the magic had no need to save him.

More likely, Mel’s magic has a cooldown and a long period where she needs to build enough magic back up to be able to use, but most likely, Mel doesn’t even know she has magic. There’s no sense in concealing her magic now, especially not after it saved herself and Jayce. Sure, it’d be a bad idea to come out about it to the world even after Piltover accepted Hextech since it would’ve been a secret for so long. However, I do believe she would’ve told Jayce. If not before, then definitely after it saved the two of them and Viktor still almost died.

Jayce needs as much information as he can get to figure out what’s going on with Viktor. Mel cares a lot about Jayce and seems to also care for Viktor even if she disagreed with him last season. She also has the same innate curiosity that Jayce and Viktor do. She’d want him to be able to solve this puzzle with all the information at his disposal and has been able to open up to him in the past with the trust that he would not share her secrets. She’d tell him so that they could figure out why her magic didn’t work as it was supposed to.

Unless there’s a reason we haven’t been told for why she needs to keep this hidden? If you squint your ears real hard, her line of “There’s no sense to these things, Jayce” in response to “How does the explosion do that to him and I just walk out without a scratch” sounds a bit like she’s trying to get him to drop the subject. After all, there is sense to these things for a scientist. There’s physics and calculations that go into why every single piece of debris falls in the way that it does. Which direction it flies in, how much heat is dispersed, the shock absorption in everything and every person in the blast radius, how far each person gets pushed across the room. To Jayce, “there’s no sense” might not be a comforting thing to hear. So was Mel just trying and failing to comfort him or was she attempting to change the subject? Or am I just reading too much into it?

Lmao imagine tho if Jayce found out she has magic, whether she already knew or not. He’d want to study her! And honestly she’d probably be down for it to find out even more ways to use her powers, maybe a way to replicate it with Hextech so more people can have a way to stay safe! That would actually be a good way to use Hextech to help people. And maybe Mel just has a scientist kink, who knows

Mel's protection should have saved Viktor too, and she's trying to figure out why it didn't

S2 ep1 shows a circle of protected stone where Mel and Jayce were during the explosion. My theory is that Mel's magic armor activated and saved them both. It seems like it casts a sphere of protection around wherever Mel is.

The center of this circle is not Mel's seat - it's Jayce's. She ran to Jayce to save him.

No other Councilors were in range of Mel's protection, so they all got hurt or killed.

But Viktor was, Jayce's words, "right next to" him. He was easily within Mel's circle of protection.

1) Viktor tried to run and mistakenly left the circle of protection. But are we meant to believe that Viktor, close to dying already and using a crutch, would have outrun Mel?

2) Viktor's augmented body clashes with Mel's

Why does Mel try to touch Viktor in episode 1? It seems like a throwaway moment, but not even Jayce touches him in this scene. So why Mel?

She's curious. And possibly, feeling responsible. She's wondering why her protection didn't work.

Is this Hexcore brand of the Arcane trying to reach out to Mel? Or trying to defend itself from her?

Mel was trying to protect both Jayce and Viktor, which is reflected in how she holds Jayce as well as Viktor's cane when she promises to protect Hextech:

But if, for example, Mel's magic is Solari in origin, and Viktor's is from the Void - or the Arcane equivalent of similar opposing forces - then it's possible that their magic rejects or hurts one another. So Mel's circle of protection either rejected Viktor, or was what hurt Viktor, and not the explosion.

[thenationofzaun]

Character writing in Arcane Season 2: Act 1

I have big issues with the quality of dialogue and characterization so far in Act 1. Characters and conversations have almost zero depth. Examples:

Heimerdinger - Does he know about the Council attack? How does he feel about it? Is he relieved he was voted out beforehand? Does he feel responsible for the attack, in that if he had taken action sooner, Zaun would not have been driven to this level of violence? Does he feel guilty for the deaths of his colleagues? Viktor was almost killed by the attack but got saved by the very Hexcore Heimerdinger hated. What's his reaction to that??

Lol who cares? Let's do goofy Disney channel hijinks by sneaking into a lab with Ekko. He meets Jayce there. Does he express his concern or relief that his former student just survived a Hextech explosion unscathed? Nope!!! Wacky humour time!!!

Ekko - Does Ekko know Jinx killed Silco? If yes, how does he feel about that? Is he shocked? Confused? If he doesn't know, what does he think happened to Silco? What do Zaunites like him make of Silco's death if Jinx got rid of his body? How does he feel about the Council attack? Does he support it or does he think Jinx went too far? Is he on the fence?

Lol who cares? We don't need to know any of this. Let Ekko have goofy scenes with Heimerdinger. Speaking of Heimer, what the fuck is Ekko's opinion on Heimerdinger's criminal negligence of the Undercity for the past two fucking centuries? Because he sure warmed up to that hairball quick. This is an issue that started in Season 1 Episode 8, but I had hopes they would address it in Season 2. I guess not.

Jayce - How does Jayce feel about seeing Heimerdinger again, when their last meeting was Jayce betraying him? We know he felt guilty about it in Season 1 so why was there no inkling of it during their meeting in the lab? Why doesn't Jayce tell Heimer that the Hexcore saved Viktor? The Hexcore having the potential to save Viktor's life was a huge point of contention for them in Season 1 and was partially the reason for Jayce's betrayal, but neither of them mention it. Lol. Viktor wakes up and tells him that Sky was killed by the Hexcore in their lab. Jayce: "Oh no! Anyway..." ?????? No questions as to how and when this happened? No questions as to where Sky's body is? You just learned your employee was fucking killed in your lab a few days ago and this is your reaction?

Vi - How does Vi feel about the fact that the tyrants who killed her parents are dead by Jinx's hand? She herself wanted to take revenge on the Council in the past, so how does she feel now that her little sister's the one who did it? When Caitlyn yaps about avenging her mother's death by killing Jinx, does Vi realize that Jinx's attack was in itself vengeance for their parents' deaths on the bridge? Which were sanctioned by the Council? Will she ever bring this up to Caitlyn? Probably not. What exactly is Vi's opinion on a Zaunite uprising against topside? Does she no longer think it's the right way to go about things?

What does she think happened to Ekko? The last time she saw him, he was fighting Jinx to the death. He could be dead for all she knows. And she doesn't even think about or mention him once. Seems like she doesn't give a shit about Little Man lol. Did the writers forget they are childhood friends?

What eventually drives her to join the enforcers? Could it be concern for her sister, that she somehow thinks the badge would allow her more say in advocating for lesser sentencing? Could it be ideology, that she genuinely believes stricter policing of the Undercity is the way to prevent more Silcos? Lol nope! She's convinced by some rando giving her an ego boost about how Kewl and Badazz she was attacking the factory of child labourers. (A+ manipulation by Caitlyn by the way. What a wholesome and healthy romance Caitvi is turning out to be!)

What causes the rift between Vi and Caitlyn? Could it be Vi's love for Jinx, because as much she tries to convince herself her sister is dead and that Jinx is a different person, deep down she knows that Jinx is still her sister and for all Vi's bluster and rage, she can't bear to see Jinx actually die when push comes to shove? Lol nope!!! She's actually totally okay with a fucking enforcer killing her fucking sister, the exact thing that orphaned them both. Vi only draws the line when a random kid intervenes, after which Caitlyn proceeds to domestically abuse Vi and leave her crying on the floor without looking back.

There is so much detail and nuance missing. This is why almost every scene and conversation feels so empty. Every conversation is comically rushed and not allowed to breathe. The characters' superficial personality traits are there for the most part, but their underlying motivations, feelings, opinions, and desires are completely neglected to fulfill whatever the plot demands them to do.

[ddollqulaa]

a desire that couldn't be stopped.

◟✿ ⠀ ┈─★ ⠀ ೀ ⠀⦂ ⠀〈 ⠀ ━╋ ⠀ . . .ᐟᅟ ⠀ ꒰੭ ⠀ ♱

[takes place months before the prank on hannah]

◟✿ ⠀ ┈─★ ⠀ ೀ ⠀⦂ ⠀〈 ⠀ ━╋ ⠀ . . .ᐟᅟ ⠀ ꒰੭ ⠀ ♱

Warning: minor smut

It was quiet, except for the hums coming from the TV, the colors flickering faintly around the room. The night felt thick, and heavy, like it was cumming into me. I tipped my glass back, the burn of liquor sliding down my throat, warm and bitter, making all the pain in my mind flee.

Hannah and Beth had passed out, I could still hear their low moans as they rested, steady and oblivious. But I couldn't sleep, couldn't rest, There was something restless inside of me, something unsatisfied, eating me up inside out. The shot glass slipped from my fingers, and the echo of it hitting the table was sharper than expected.

That's when I heard a voice, smooth and low

“You're still up?”

I turned, startled, and there was Josh, leaning in the doorway, his eyes catching mine with something more than just curiosity. He wasn't supposed to be here, not tonight, but there he was, leaning against the doorframe, looking at me with that familiar smirk, his gaze lingering a little too long.

“Couldn't sleep,” I muttered, the alcohol making my lungs feel thick, and my pulse a little quicker.

He stepped closer, the dim light casting shadows across his face, making his smirk look more flirtatious than usual. “Maybe, you need something to wear you out?…” he said with a playful tone, “something fun.”

His words hung in the air, and for a second, I couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or the way he looked at me that made my head spin.

I looked down at his hands and saw the bottle, dark, the liquor inside glistening. Without a word, he walked over, his movements slow, he sat right beside me on the couch, so close that I could feel his breath against my mouth. The cushions of the couch dipped under his weight, pulling me slightly towards him, making my heart pound louder than usual.

He twisted the cap off the bottle, taking a long, slow swig, his eyes locked on mine the whole time. Then, with a grin, he handed it to me, his fingers brushing mine. “You said you wanted some hard liquor, right?"

I took the bottle from him, our fingers grazing each other for just a second, but the warmth from his hand lingered on mine. Without a word, I lifted the bottle to my lips, the burn stronger this time, hotter. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, feeling the alcohol stir something bold inside me.

"Holy shit, that's strong," | muttered, my voice cracking slightly.

Josh laughed, leaning in closer, his voice dropping low. "You should've seen your face," he teased, his breath warm against my ear. "It was sexy."

The heat between us was growing, thickening the air. I froze as I heard Hannah shift on the couch, a sleepy moan escaping her lips, but she didn't wake. My heart pounded in my chest, a rush of uncertainty flooding me, but before I could pull away, Josh's voice cut through the tension.

“Why don't we head up to my room…. So we don't wake her..” he whispered, his voice low and seductive.

I turned up to look at him, catching the glint in his eyes, a drunken haze hiding whatever restraint was left of him. He was so close, his breath warm against my neck. Maybe I should have pushed him away and told him this wasn't right. But instead, I felt a rush of heat, tempting me further.

“Oh? You want some, huh?” I teased back, my voice filled with desire and flirtiness. The liquor may have made me a little too confident.

He chuckled softly, leaning back just enough to meet my eyes, his gaze dark and teasing. “Fuck yeah” his hand grabbed my thigh and squeezed it, it made me flush up. Sending heat through my body… I could feel myself getting wet already.

“You coming? Or what..” he chuckled, touching my thigh.

I hesitated a bit before nodding, the alcohol blurring my thoughts, making me do things I wouldn't normally do. Josh grinned, standing up and holding his hand out to me. I glanced over at Hannah one last time, she was still asleep, I genuinely hoped she couldn't hear in her sleep.

I slipped my hand into him and he led me down the halls, the house was quiet except for the sound of our footsteps. Everything felt surreal, it was as if I was floating in the air, watching myself. When we reached his room, he pushed the door open, the light casting shadows along the bed.

As soon as the door was locked behind us, he turned to me, his face looking hungry and impatient. He then leaned over me, his lips crashing into mine, and his hands were rough, pulling me closer to him, I could taste the alcohol in his mouth. I wasn't resisting it, I kissed him back, my pulse pounding in my head, drowning out every thought.

His hands gripped my waist, fingers curling into the fabric of my clothes, desperate to rip them off. With a rough push, he guided me backward. I felt the mattress hit the back of my legs before he settled on top of me, pressing me down onto the mattress. The room around us faded, a blur of shadows and silence. All I could focus on was him, his small groans, his heavy breath, and the heat of his touch.

He moved impatiently, stripping me down, each layer was keeping him from taking me. His fingers brushed over my skin, stopping to flick across my nipple, sending a jolt of pleasure to my body.

Hovering over me, his breath heavy, uneven gasps, the alcohol guiding his movements. My mind spun, trying to catch up with him. But, my body responded before I could think tensing under his touch, moans slipping out against my will as he teased my nip.

“Fuck, Sammy, you’re so pretty when you whine,” he murmured, his voice low and dripping with lust.

His mouth lowered to my breast, his tongue flicking my nipple, it was slow at first, and I started to let out heavier moans, I bit my lip, trying to keep quiet, the thought of Hannah still asleep in the living room was keeping me from giving into him.

But Josh wasn't finished, he made quick sucks on the tip of my nip. Teasing me with the soft stroke of his tongue, waiting for me to break, to beg him for more, to give him just what he wanted. Every time he put his mouth against me, it was like a challenge, pushing me closer to the edge.

“Oh God, Josh, please…” I gasped, the words slipping out.

I looked down at him, my breath shaky, eyes pleading as I whined. The teasing had become unbearable, each flick of his tongue leading to a deeper desire. I was tired of the game, and the way he toyed with my body, keeping me on edge.

His eyes flicked up to meet mine, hungry and lustful. He knew what he was doing, how he was pushing me to the edge, only to pull back, dragging out the moment. He dug his fingers into my skin rough and possessively. Holding me in place as if I belonged to him.

I arched my back, desperate for his touch, my body losing any control I had left in my body. My breath was heavy and ragged, the tension tightened, like a string inside me, ready to snap.

“Please….” I whispered again, my voice raw and shaking with desire.

Josh had a wicked grin on his face, his mouth tracing the curve of my boob, but still, he wouldn’t give in to my pleas. His tongue flicked over my nipple again, lazily, taunting me, wanting me to break. His rough hands were all over my body, reaching into my sweatpants. It felt like I had no control like my body was his.

Soft moans escaped my lips as his fingers traced the thin fabric of my panties, pressing his fingers just enough for it to give me a sense of pleasure. My hips arched into his hand, desperate for more than just teasing.

His breath was hot against my neck, a low chuckle coming out, “Is this what you want? Huh?” His voice was rough, almost like a growl, thick with lust. He was playing with me, dragging the moment out, trying to make me break.

I whimpered in response, my body controlling itself, wanting, needing, more of him that I was not going to admit.

He hooked his fingers to the waistband of my sweatpants, pulling them down slowly, letting himself savor the moment, the bulge in his pants growing, looking into my eyes as I squirmed underneath him. “Say it,” he murmured, his breath hot against my ear, his voice demanding. “Tell me you want me to fuck you.”

I bit my lip, hesitating, the words tangling up in my throat, but my body was telling him all he needed to know. He arched my back further, his hand steady as he slipped my sweatpants down my legs, letting them pull at my ankles. The cool air hit my bare skin, but the heat between us was all I could feel.

“Come on,” he taunted, his eyes glaring down at me, his hand tracing the outline of my panties, this time, more rough, more insistent. “You know you want it, say it.”

I let out a shaky breath, my voice barely above a whisper. “I….I need you, Josh…”

He let out a grin, his fingers pressing harder against me, making me gasp. “That's more like it…” he groaned low in my ear, his breath hot and heavy. “I'll give you exactly what you need…”

He hooked his fingers to the side of my panties, pulling them aside, his touch was rough, yet pleasant. He dipped a finger into my cunt, the sensation sending a shock through my body. My back was arched, a deep moan coming out of my lips. Every nerve lighting up under his touch.

“Oh Josh…Josh!” I cried out, my voice thick, not able to hold myself back.

His lips shuttered as he looked at me, his eyes locked on mine as he thrust his fingers into me. “Yeah, that's it…” he murmured, pushing deeper inside me, his fingers curling just enough to hit my sensitive spot, which made my hips buck onto his hand. “I knew you'd like it…”

I couldn't even form words, my breath coming out in short, desperate gasps. My body was no longer in my control, I was his, all his. Every thrust sent jolts of pleasure in me, making me whine quietly. My legs were trembling as I tried to keep composure.

His other hand slid up my body, gripping my waist, possesively, claiming me. He presses his body closer, his lips brushing against my neck, sucking softly, leaving a trail of hickeys. “You are so fucking hot like this …” he groaned, his voice rough. “Moaning my name…”

His words made my heart beat faster, my body arched further, desperate for more. He slipped another finger inside, making my insides stretch. Gasping, my head tilted back in pleasure, it was overwhelming. The heat was suffocating, pushing me closer to spilling all over his fingers.

I was trembling, unable to hold back my orgasm, my fingers trembling against the sheets, gripping them tightly as he continued thrusting his fingers inside me, I wanted more, so much more.

“Please, give me more, Josh…” I begged my voice raw, and breathy.

He started fumbling around with his belt, his hands shaky and impatient. The clink of his buckle cut through the silence. His breath was ragged, his chest rising and falling as he pulled his pants down. Revealing his hard-erected cock. His face was flushed a shade of deep red. The alcohol and lust mixed in his eyes, having a haze of desire.

I bit my lip as I watched him, my heart beating in my chest. The heat was unbearable. My eyes traced the lines of his body, the way his muscles tensed, his jaw clenching as he looked down at me with hunger, was turning me on.

He kicked off his pants, and with the sound of fabric hitting the floor, I felt the air around me grow thicker. His eyes locked into mine, there was something possessive with the way he looked at me as if he was struggling to hold back like he was about to devour me, but he wanted to savor this moment.

“You’re so fucking beautiful…” his voice was low, filled with wanting, it sent shivers down my spine. He leaned over, brushing a strand of hair out of my face, his gaze never leaving mine. There was a gentleness to his touch as if it belonged to a different moment, but it was here when they were about to have sex.

He drew my hips up closer to his cock, his hands settled on my hips, grounding me to the bed. He started thrusting slowly at first, careful as if he was savoring the moment. A groan escaped his lips as he thrust into me, his breath catching. His face closed, his eyes rolling up as he felt me around him.

He started to thrust faster, his hands guiding me to my climax. My heart raced, I'd never had sex before… but he didn't know that. Our breaths were on each other. There was the scent of sex in the air, it was seductive, lust-inducing. My body twitched a little as I felt him pull out and have an orgasm all over my lower stomach.

“Fuck, I'm sorry,” Josh murmured, his voice barely a whisper as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me gently around his chest. His hand traced circles around my back as we lay together, and his breath steadied against my hair. I could feel his heartbeat, heavy and close as if he was struggling to find the right words.

“Josh…this was my first time..” I whimpered softly, my voice catching.

He stilled, and I felt him tense behind me.

“What?..” his voice cracked, laced with shock, there was something else in his eyes, like embarrassment or regret. His eyes shifted towards me, his eyes searching mine. “You should have told me… I would have gone slower…” he whispered, his hand brushing my cheek as he looked at me.

For a moment his gaze held onto me. He leaned in softly kissing my mouth, he covered our bare bodies with the blanket. Holding him close as he rubbed circles on my back. “Rest, I'll move you to Hannah’s bed in the morning…” his voice trailed off as he drifted off to sleep, his love enveloping me.

[beef-brisket]

Lucifer had to put two blankets over Adam to cover him properly. He tucked him in and looked over his face.

He tucked a few strands of hair behind his ear. He's gorgeous. Lucifer always thought so, but he was a tad preoccupied to really acknowledge it.

Lucifer smiled and walked out of the room. It'll be time to feed Charlie soon. Hopefully, they won't wake Adam.

Surprisingly, Lucifer had to wake Charlie. The poor thing was exhausted.

He gave her a fed and a nappy change and put her back down. She was out to it in record time.

The next morning, Lucifer found Adam already downstairs.

Lucifer: Morning- are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?

Adam: Uh- I don't have any clothes here. Their all at the castle.

Lucifer: ...Hm. I guess I should go shopping, try and find something that will fit you.

Adam: You don't have to, this is fine.

Lucifer: Adam, if you wear the same thing over and over, it'll break down. You need new clothes... I could talk to Michael. He knows how to deal with people like you.

Adam sat down on the couch, watching Lucifer as he walked over to him.

Adam: People like me?

Lucifer: Well- like... monsters? I don't- specifically mean you- I just... you're not entirely human. This isn't sounding good, huh?

Adam: I mean... slightly offensive, but you're not wrong. I haven't been human since I was six. So... I don't know. Fuck.

Lucifer: I didn't mean to offend you.

Lucifer sat next to Adam and put his hand on his knee. Why was he touching him? Lucifer didn't know- he wanted to. Really badly.

Adam: You didn't- it's fine. I get it. It's just... weird bring somewhere where I'm the freak... the villagers were the freaks. Small and weak. We were like God's to them... but I guess that's what happened when you're in some weird, fucked up cult.

Lucifer: Maybe we could remove your parasite- then you'll be normal-!

Adam: It got injected into my spine, so I have a feeling removing it wouldn't end well for me.

Adam patted Lucifers hand before resting his hand on top of Lucifer's. He laughed at their size difference.

Adam: Thanks for helping, though. It means a lot. For the longest time, I didn't even realize something was wrong with me. Or my family. You've opened my eyes to a lot of shit. So, you've already done more foe me than anyone else has.

Lucifer: Well... you're worth it.

Adam blushed and looked away. Great, now he was being sweet to him. Adam didn't know if he could handle sweet.

But maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Have you seen Resident Evil: Village? All I'm saying is Adam and Emily as two of the three sisters and Sera as Lady Dimitrescu.

Lucifer is Ethan trying to find Charlie.

At first, Adam was on his mother and sisters side- but because they have a weird thing against dudes, he eventually helps Lucifer.

Trust me, it feels illegal not to make Adam the stunning Lady Dimitrescu, but for story reasons, he'll be one of her kids.

I mean, their hot. What can I say? Adam would look great like this 🤷

Adam: Mmm- man flesh~.

Lucifer: ...Kinda gay, man.

Adam: It's not gay.

Lucifer: It is- man flesh? Really?

Adam: ...

Lucifer: ...

Adam: *stabs sickle into his leg and drags him away* Mother!

I have seen it! Ha I love this. ((Yes he'd rock being the Lady of the house 😩))

Lucifer: Ow!! What the fuck!?

Adam: It's not gay! Mother was right.

[lilowoof]

ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

[nomairuins]

its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

[the-ragbros-are-okay]

i actually feel as though i am going insane bc i need to do TOMORROWS commissions to get the last story key for kaeya’s story quest because i was an IDIOT and and DIDNT

and now i feel like i’m full of BEES

PLUS. IM GOING ON A TRIP.TOMORROW

so i’m waking up early and doing my commissions and then a story quest bc i’ll be damned if i have to wait three more fucking days to see my favorite traumatized blue haired man

[blackvahana]

christ it hits me a lot how shit I was treated by lull and how much I thought that was normal. Lev set up a study room in my house, and... he said I can come in because I was sort of obviously asking the question without even knowing I was asking, like I wanted to ask the question but knew it'd be a no. Why did I know itd be a no? Well a study space is a serious space for actual academic and general people who do work to use, full of books and journals that both aren't my business and will be easily messed up if I touch them, and there's no reason for me to be in there anyway because I don't do work, a study is only a space for normal people and not people who mess everything up and - how do i know this? Oh I mean because lull - yeah

[todayisafridaynight]

One moment in Y3 I'll never get over is Daigo, fresh out of coma, instinctively reassuring Mine with such tenderness. Yeah it made him feel more guilty, sure. But at that moment I was like "I get it, Mine. I now get why you're that obsessed". Doesn't make it better that Daigo is pretty pretty with a wonderful voice and gorgeous shoulders

this ask was so real and true and right and it still is but i am cackling a little at 'daigo's gorgeous shoulders'

[cattailtales]

seeing the reactions to this latest chapter I can’t help but to think back to the first post-war arc and remember how little was ever addressed then too.. like dgmw I enjoy all these characters and think horikoshi is insane for trying to juggle so many but in the end he kinda like. Cannot handle it all. maybe he could if he didn’t waste time on silly things.. like I get that he’s trying to uplift the story in the end but it kinda falls incredibly flat with so many anxious questions looming and a rapidly approaching finish line…

[thedreadvampy]

hey fun thing. fun thing I'm experiencing lately. is that the case which every terf journo in the fucking UK is freaking themselves about FINALLY being able to put on the front page - trans woman convicted of rape sent to women's prison - is uhhhhhhhh. really close to home? emotionally? for me? and it's on every fucking newsstand????

(obviously transparent as fuck every time that everyone's suddenly so concerned about the wellbeing of women in prison when all the same publications are usually in the CRIMINAL SCUM PRISONS ARE TOO SOFT TRAIN but OKAY. OKAY. since you suddenly care so much about female prisoners shall we uhhhhh idk address the rate of sexual assaults by guards? police? other cisgender prisoners? maybe rethink the whole 'prison' thing as a whole? oh this is just about how you think trans women are scary again? cool. cool cool cool.)

[gregmarriage]

truly my last relationship taught me so much. it also instilled in me some things i’m still unlearning. like, how most people won’t get mad if you accidentally fall asleep without saying goodnight (and not replying to messages, because i’m literally asleep), or freak out if you stop replying for like five minutes. like, i couldn’t do anything i enjoyed bc she’d be like ‘um, what fuck are you doing? why aren’t you answering me?!!!’ like relax, i’m literally just showering. it was truly a case of sitting still unless i wanted to upset her. and then i STILL somehow upset her and i never really knew why. but, hey, that relationship ended a long time ago, i should be fine now, right? 😐