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arushahisatroll · 3 years

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“You’re my date to the end of the world”

hey, hey! looks like i’m posting a fanfic on tumblr! @disregardcanon here!

guys, please reblog this instead of just liking, it helps so so much

The sky was grey and ashy, just like the day before, and the day before that. The sky had been grey and ashy as long as Aru could remember.

Sure, she sometimes remembered what it was like to feel the sun on her skin, to look up at the sky and see a vast expanse of blue, and the stars at night, twinkling at her. To see a rainbow, somehow brightening her day the way only a rainbow could.

But the sky was grey and ashy now, with the little rain they got mixed with the ashes, making her cough.

“Aru? You coming?” a voice said.

Aru turned to the voice smiling, “I'm coming love, just give me a second, kay?”

Aru took a deep breath and steadied herself.

It's no use thinking about that anymore, she told herself. It's gone and there's nothing you can do about it. It's time to move on.

Aru slipped her boots on and tied her hair, “So, what's the weather like today?” she joked.

Aiden smiled and held out her jacket, “Grey and ashy, just like the day before today. And the day before that.”

He looked up at the sky, his hand over his forehead to protect him from the nonexistent sun. “Although, I think there might be rain today.”

Aru smiled, “So that's what the coat was for, huh?”

He looked back at her. “Yep.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aru thought watching Kung Fu Panda for the 5th time today was a wonderful idea. However, Aiden thought otherwise.

“I’m serious Aru, if we watch Kung Fu Panda one more time, I think I might smother myself with my pillow,” Aiden said, holding the remote away from her.

Darn their height difference.

“Ohh cmoooon, it's a classic!” Aru whined, as she tried to reach the remote.

Aiden continued to hold the remote out of her reach.

“A classic that has been watched way too many times to be interesting.”

Aru sighed dramatically and fell on the couch. “Fine, I can relinquish my control this time, and this time only.”

Aiden hummed, electing to sit back on the couch and scroll through the Internet. Probably looking through memes.

“Say, don’t you think it's weird that we still have WiFi?” Aru said

Aiden looked back at her, deep in thought, “I’d bet there are other people around here who work on maintaining it.”

Aru snorted and turned around to face the ceiling. ”Other people, huh? What I wouldn't give to meet another person in this wasteland.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“. . . Aiden? “

He sighed, looking back at the kitchen. “Let me guess, you burnt the pancakes again”

Aru looked away “. . . Yes?”

He ruffled a hand through his hair and smiled. Typical

“I’ll come in a minute!” he called out. “Just try not to burn the kitchen again while I’m away.”

Aiden heard Aru’s offended gasp. “How dare, I could never do something like that!”

He grinned, “The fire extinguisher next to the kitchen says otherwise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

She found Aiden at the porch of their house, looking wistfully into the distance.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Aru said laughing as she sat down next to him, trying to lighten up the mood “Y’know, you kinda look like one of those manga charactera, with your looking-into-the distance habit.”

Aiden looked back at her. “Hey.”

Aru looked up at the sky “Hey, what's up?”

He sighed, “Remember when the world wasn’t ash and smoke?”

Aiden was a photographer. If anyone missed the world before, he certainly did. After all, what's there to take pictures of when everything is the same? Day after day. An endless loop.

Aru fell silent. “Sometimes.”

They sat in silence for a while.

~~~~~~~~~~

The living room was filled with the sound of the news.

“So there are other people out there, huh?” Aru said looking at her phone as the news anchor was talking animatedly.

“We will stand united!” she said grinning as if the world was right again. “Although we are not even half of what we used to have, we can get through this together!”

Aiden perched his head on Aru’s shoulder, smiling. “There are”

Aru moved to the table in the center of the room. Putting down her phone, she began to rifle through the CD cabinet.

“I think this deserves a little bit of music, don't ya think?” Aru said upon noticing Aiden’s confusion.

Aiden laughed. “Why not?” he said, holding out his hand.

“Hey, do you think we should eat some cake?” Aru said while they were dancing.

Aiden looked at her with amusement. “Is this an excuse to eat cake?”

Aru grinned, “What else did you expect?”

~~~~~~~~~

Aru could hear the sirens of the ambulance all around her.

She looked down at her phone, at the news.

“We can get through this,” said the peppy news lady, looking not so peppy anymore. “Although this black plague is diminishing our population once more, we will get through this.”

She looked like she was trying to comfort herself.

Aru ruffled a hand through her hair. “We shouldn’t have moved so close to each other. We let the virus spread.”

Aiden sighed and looked out of the window, “You do know we would have moved here anyway, right? Plague or not.”

Aru moved towards the window, “Yeah”

They stayed silent for a while, the sirens and shouts of the people outside filling it in.

“Well,” Aiden said, slipping his boots on. “We’re going to help, aren't we?”

Aru smiled sadly, pulling her coat on. “Of course.”

Aiden paused at the doorway, turning back to her, “Together till death?”

Aru grinned, and opened the door, “Of course, you’re my date to the end of the world after all.”

#aru shah fanfiction #aru shah fanfic #ru writes #aru shah #arundhati shah #aru #aiden #aiden acharya #tpq #the pandava quintet #pandava quintet #tpq fanfiction #aru shah au #au #fanfics

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ghstandpucks · 4 years

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Cutting Edge ~ Nathan MacKinnon Ch. 6

aHey everyone! I hope you are all doing well and staying safe and healthy! I had fun writing this chapter, though it is kind of a filler to get the story where I want to go. I hope you all enjoy it!

Also shout out to @avsfans95, @pumpkinpatchmakar, and @silkybiscuit for your kind words and tags when you reblog. I love reading them and I’m so glad you guys are enjoying the story!

Let me know what you think and if you would like to be added to the tag list! Thanks!

Prologue Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5

The Avs won the game against the Coyotes 3 to 1, with Nate scoring the final goal for the Avs. You had been standing on the bench between Tyson and J. T. when he scored and almost bounced right off of it in your excitement. Thankfully Tyson was mindful enough to grab your arm and then help you down before you twisted an ankle. When Nate got back to the bench, he gave you a huge smile that made butterflies erupt in your stomach once again. You wanted to run over to him but knew that would not look professional, so you settled on tapping his shoulder pads like you did earlier after Andre had scored. When the game ended, you waited outside the locker room while the team showered and changed. Coach Bednar stepped out of the room to find where you had gone off to, as he thought you would like to accompany him and a few of the players to their post-game interviews. “You did great today Y/N. Nice call with Burkakovsky’s goal,” he complimented you.

“Thanks Coach. I’m glad I was able to help,” you smiled. Bednar smiled and nodded, then looked at you thoughtfully for a minute.

“Just do me a favor and be careful when you stand on the bench. I already have to worry about my players getting hurt, I don’t need to worry about you too,” he chuckled. You laughed and nodded back.

“Of course. I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have done that…” you tried to apologize, but were cut off.

“I didn’t say that. I’m just asking you to be careful is all.” Bednar clarified. “If that’s what you need to do to get your voice out there then go ahead. Gabe has already told the guys to look out for you. You have definitely won them over Coach Y/L/N.” You smiled, and then followed Bednar as he motioned for you to come along to the interviews. When you got there, you stood in the back with him watching Gabe, Andre, and Nate take their seats. They were the three that scored today, so you assumed that’s why they were being interviewed. The questions came at them, from how they thought their team was going to perform this year, how off-season training went, and what they were looking forward to this season. They all answered in a way that left you in awe of the three large men, Gabe obviously charming everyone in sight, both women and men. Then a question came up that you did not expect.

“How is it having a figure skater as a coach?” a male reporter asked with a snicker. You could feel your face flush, slightly unnerved by his tone. You knew there were people opposed to the presence of figure skaters on the team as soon as the idea went public, but you weren’t thinking of the questions that would be asked to the players about it. You also did not miss the way Nate’s eyes shot straight back to you, his jaw becoming slightly tense at the question. Gabe was the first to answer.

“Coach Y/L/N has been a great addition to our team. She is highly skilled and has an eye for details that I think as hockey players we don’t always notice. She is also the reason we first got on the scoreboard today, so we are very thankful to have her.” Gabe stated with no room for interpretation. You smiled thankfully at him and he nodded slightly. Nate relaxed a bit, not realizing how protective he felt over you until that question came up. He could hear Gabe’s words from the game in the back of his mind, and he knew he was screwed.

~ ~ ~

Once back at the hotel, mostly everyone retired to their rooms as the team had an early flight to San Jose for a game the following day. You had showered and changed into a pair of leggings and your Team USA sweatshirt when you heard low voices and a knock on your door. Curious as to who it could be, you looked out the peep hole before swinging the door open laughing at the sight in front of you. Tyson and Cale were standing there with what looked like every potato chip bag they could get out of the vending machine and happy smiles. You looked at them suspiciously. “Can I help you guys?”

“We’re trying to figure out what chips are the best and since there is only two of us we need another judge. And since you are a coach, we figured you might be impartial,” Tyson explained.

“What if I pick a different flavor than either of you?” You asked, leaning on your doorframe.

“Then we all argue but we get to eat the chips in the process,” Cale countered.

“So?” Tyson asked, nodding toward your room. You huffed but giggled, opening your door for the both of them to walk through. Tyson dropped all the chips onto the bed, sitting on the edge while Cale pulled over the desk chair. You leaned against the head board, your knees to your chest and looked at everything they brought. “You know what would be fun, if we Instagram lived this,” Tyson said taking out his phone. You looked at Cale and laugh as he just stared at Tyson.

“I just want to eat the chips,” Cale mumbled.

“You are so weird,” you laughed.

“Coach, be quiet so I can make introductions,” Tyson said back, and you threw a bag of chips at the back of his head as he started talking. “I’m with Cale and our coach, Y/N Y/L/N who is a rude person and just threw a bag of chips at me…Yes she is the Olympic figure skater. She’s not as nice as she seems people, she made Nate skate laps the other day,” he panned his phone toward you and you just shrugged. He kept asking you and Cale questions from the chat as you all passed the bags of chips around, voting on ones you liked better over the others. You were almost in hysterics at Cale throwing a few chips at Tyson over a disagreement on the better flavor when your phone chimed next to you. You opened it to see that Nate had text you.

Nate: Was I not invited? You laughed and went to text him back when another message came in from him. Don’t laugh at me! You looked up and saw that you were in the corner of Tyson’s live feed.

Y/N: Do you feel left out? You teased him.

“Who are you texting Coach? You look all happy,” Tyson called you out.

“It’s none of your business Tyson,” you said, then felt a new bag of chips hit you straight in the face. “You are such a pain in the ass!” you laughed as Tyson faked shock. Cale doubled over as Tyson turned back to his phone.

“I told you people she’s not as nice as she seems!”

“He’s not that great either!” you yelled from your spot on the bed, picking your phone back up.

Y/N: Come save me?

Nate: Burky and I are on our way. Want anything? You smiled again, thankful Tyson and Cale were distracted by the chips and answering random questions.

Y/N: I’m good. No more chips though lol

Around 10 minutes later there was a knock on your door. Cale got up to answer it as he was the closest. You smiled as Nate and Andre walked in. Andre grabbed a bag of chips and sat on the floor while Nate made his way over to you, handing you a Minute Maid pink lemonade. “You remembered,” you said quietly, scooting over so Nate could sit next to you. He gave you a small smile. Of course he remembered you liked pink lemonade, beside water and orange juice it’s the only other thing to drink in your fridge at all times. The guys might give him crap for being unobservant, but he pays more attention to you than anyone knew.

More chips were passed around, no one agreeing on what was better. Eventually Tyson grew tired of Instagram Live and turned it off, but not before a few questions came in as to why you were sitting so close to Nate. You hadn’t thought about it. Sitting cross legged, your right knee was resting on the top of his thigh as his legs were stretched out on the bed. Both of you had grown use to some sort of physical contact when you were around each other that it simply didn’t phase you. Apparently though, some people were too observant for their own good. Knowing Nate was more of a private person though, and not really knowing himself what was going on between the two of you (though he did speculate there had to be something), Tyson fielded the questions by either laughing them off or not acknowledging them.

“You guys, I never want to see a potato chip again,” you whined, leaning into Nate an hour later. It was around midnight at this point and you were ready for bed. Nate chuckled and patted your leg.

“Yeah this wasn’t my smartest idea,” Tyson said, falling back onto the bed.

“Which idea has been?” Andre chirped him. Tyson reached up and grabbed a pillow, nailing Andre with it.

“Hey don’t throw my pillows,” you mumbled, grabbing another pillow and smacking Tyson with it. He went to throw it back at you, but Nate stuck his arm in front of you and got it away from Tyson. Half an hour later the guys all started gathering their trash, mostly because you threatened them with more laps if they left your room dirty. You said goodnight to Tyson, Cale and Andre, walking to the door with Nate following you. As the guys walked out, Nate hung back a second.

“I’ll come by tomorrow morning. I think we’re getting the continental breakfast before heading to the airport,” he said in a low tone, mostly so the guys couldn’t eavesdrop in the hallway. You nodded, vaguely aware that he was taking too long in the room, but also not caring entirely. Would it really be that bad if the team knew something was going on? Nate leaned forward and kissed your cheek, causing your face to turn bright red. “Sleep well Y/N.”

“Goodnight Nate,” you whispered, closing the door behind him. Nate walked out into the hallway to find Tyson casually waiting a few feet away while Andre and Cale were walking. Tyson motioned to the now shut door.

“You and coach?” he asked. Nate kept a straight face and walked past him.

“It’s none of your business,” Nate said, and Tyson’s jaw dropped.

“She was texting you earlier! I thought there was something there. I mean you did bring her hiking with us…” Tyson rambled walking next to Nate.

“Again, it is none of your business,” Nate said, giving Tyson a look that quieted the younger man.

That next morning you had your bags all packed by the time Nate came knocking on your door. He grabbed your hand and you walked to the elevator. Dropping it again before you got out of the elevator, you had breakfast with the team. After eating, everyone loaded onto the bus and headed to the airport. Landing in San Jose that afternoon, the team checked in and everyone went about their own business, getting ready for the game later that night. A short while later you were standing in the tunnel with everyone about to take the ice when you heard a familiar voice. “Is that my little Y/N?” You turned around with a big smile.

“Brian!” You ran over to the bald older man and gave him a hug.

“What about me?” A female popped out from behind him.

“Kristie!” you gave her a hug also. The figure skating coaches for the Sharks started to tell you about their experiences. Yeah, you were good friends with Olympians Brian Boitano and Kristie Yamaguchi. “Wait so are you both coaching tonight? I thought you were taking turns with the team?” you asked them.

“I’m coaching tonight. Kristie is just here,” Brian said.

“Bret and I came to see the game because I wanted to see you,” Kristie filled you in. She was married to former pro hockey player Bret Hedican. “How is everything going for you though? Congrats on the win last night!” You smiled at them.

“Thank you. It’s been good! I’ve been enjoying working with them.”

“Is there a reason why number 29 keeps looking over here to check on you?” Brian asked in a lower tone with a chuckle. You turned around and caught Nate’s eyes, smiling softly and waving him over.

“No. I think they’re just becoming protective of me,” you said off handed. Kristie gave you a knowing look though. She was married to a hockey player after all. Nate walked up beside you, and you introduced him to the two figure skaters. He shook their hands and smiled as you said how much you admired them growing up. After that it was time to get ready to head out of the tunnel, and you said your goodbyes to your friends. But not before Brian turned to Kristie, telling her he needed to try something.

“You’re going down Y/L/N!” he shouted down the hallway. You turned around quickly.

“Bring it Boitano!” Brian laughed and ran back toward you, giving you a high five and running back off to his team. You laughed and turned back toward your team, a few of the guys staring at you.

“Please never do that again Coach. You need to learn how to chirp better,” Tyson teased you. You rolled your eyes dramatically and followed the guys out of the tunnel. It was fun being able to see Brian coach his team during the game. You also saw his horrified face after you stood on the bench for the first time that game. Nothing was wrong though, EJ had put his arm up behind you so you wouldn’t fall. The game ended, 2-1 Avs. During the last period you told Kadri how to switch up his footwork and he scored. You knew how Brian and Kristie skated, so you were able to modify and work around it. Also, the fact that the team trusted you enough to make the changes you suggested made you extremely happy.

After the interviews ended and you had said one last goodbye to Brian and Kristie, you boarded the bus with everyone and headed to the airport. Since the flight wasn’t too long, the team was scheduled for a red eye to get everyone back home to Denver before their home opener in four days. You had settled into your seat after takeoff, earbuds in listening to some music and staring out the window when you felt someone sit next to you. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Nate siting there with his own earbuds in. “It’s too crowded back there,” he said quietly when you took one of your earbuds out. You nodded, and threw the other half of your blanket over his lap. From years of traveling, you always brought a blanket with you. He smiled and grabbed your hand under the blanket, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he reclined the seat a bit and closed his eyes. You could only imagine how tired the team must be. You casually turned back to the window, relaxing into what was left of your two in a half hour flight.

Tags: @bqstqnbruin @avsfans95 @andreiaafaria

#nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl x reader #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #hockey imagine #nathan mackinnon x reader #nathan mackinnon imagine #nate mackinnon x reader #nate mackinnon imagine #Cutting Edge

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dragonsdreamoffire · 4 years

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Humanity Evolved

First thing I’ve written that I posted here, and I definitely have to thank @angiebug101 for it mostly for letting me talk about this to her, and encouraging me to write it. The title comes from both the evolution of the human race with quirks and this line from a rap on Bakugo, I thought it was interesting because it’s sort of a juxtaposition from those who gained incredible superpowers from quirks, and those whose lives were realistically ruined by quirks. Bakugo gained so much, but the evolution of humanity was drastic change for everyone, not just for the better. Midoriya was definitely effected so much, but I want to also talk about how mutation type quirks would definitely be discriminated against.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

He hadn’t known what he did wrong, honestly.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

He was just trying to be happy. Have friends. Was that wrong?

Drip. Drip. Drip.

A boy from his class- Hayato, he remembers, had invited him up to the roof for lunch. Placing one of his own skeletal hands on his, he smiled, as well as a walking half-skeleton can of course.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

He had been bouncing along, a spring in his step, and wide smile on his face. Maybe he’d make friends! Maybe they’d like him! He’s never had a sleepover before, maybe they’d have one of those! Ooh, what about going to the park, or movies together? That sounds so fun! He had started to skip giddily, his skeletal legs clacking on the floor, unaware of how the new ‘friend’ he had made was flinching softly at the sound.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

But, why were they smiling like that? Were they gonna eat them right then? Wait, oh. Oh.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

His hands came up to block the rotten food thrown at him, the bones doing little to keep it from smashing through, bits of tomato and old rice landing on his face.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Hayato laughed, before taking his own tomato from his lunchbox, and shoving into his mouth, made out of only bones. “Can you even eat properly Kento? I can see that your neck, at least, is normal, but what about the rest of you? How do you even eat? You’re such a freak, did you really think I wanted to be friends with you?” Hayato smirked, before grabbing at Kento’s sweater. “How much of you is human, and how much is weird bones? Let’s find out sh-?

A scream tore from all the young boy’s throats, as Kento detached his left arm to move Hayato’s arm away, before popping it back on. Kento shook, whimpering, tears streaming down his face, as he raised his arms to shield himself. He felt the wind as the boys ran past him, screaming and yelling repeated cries of ‘monster’.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The rotten food and drinks dripped down Kento’s body, landing on the cement with a quiet plop, along with his tears. Shoulders shaking, chest heaving, he cried, and cried, and cried.

Years later he��d hear that same dripping again, but this time along his knife, as he would decide to become the very monster they’d accused him of being. What use was it to fight against it? He wasn’t human really, as they told him, he was an evolved form. Something different, and he should act like the monster he was.

So, Kento’s quirk is Skeleton, and at least half his body is skeletal, but he can actually change which parts are skeletal, but it’s always at least half and half. He can detach parts of his body when they’re in the skeletal form and put them back on.

Anyways, I’m trying to expand upon how mutation quirks and quirks that change your ‘humanity’ and general human look would be viewed.

Conservatives might view them as unnatural demons, there would be hate groups, and groups to be safe spaces for them. There would be widespread prejudices, and general biases too. Protests for better treatment, but then the division between the groups, for people who think that those with just, say, wings are fine but, take the sludge monster, those shouldn’t be considered humans. Others firmly declare that they’re all human and shouldn’t be discriminated against.

The dangerous aspect of quirks require heavy laws on their usage, but mutation quirks can’t be turned off, so some would argue they’re too dangerous for normal society.

I might make this a series, to go over everything I’ve said here, and some more, because I really like talking about it.

I’m definitely not the first to talk about this, I know a lot of people talk about this and include it in their fics, it’s just another interesting aspect of quirk society.

Please don’t repost this without permission, and if you want to you can like or comment or reblog. :D

#bnha #mha #bnha society #worldbuilding #mutation quirks #quirks

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hilli98215 · 4 years

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I am confused. I am hurt. I don’t know what to think. This is a long post. A very long post that is personal but I’ve had it in my head for a while to write. You don’t have to read this. This post has no real meaning. It’s more of a rant of how I feel in the world of fandom, my experiences, and why this posts exists.

Again, you do not have to read this.

You have been warned.

DO NOT REBLOG THIS POST!!!!

When I became an English major in college, I did so knowing several things. One of those is the fact I love literature and I love discovering why authors, creators, and artists wrote what became their most well known work.

Where am I going?

My first fandom was when I was in Junior High (about 13-14 years old) that I was a part of, meaning I read fan fiction and discovered fan art of, was either Naruto or Pokémon. To me these works were escapes of my real confusing life. Especially when I moved states and schools. I had no one. Through this, I discovered what I liked and didn’t like in the world of fiction and was introduced to fandom words/slang such as shipping, fan fiction, lemons (which I don’t think is used as often now), different types of writing, yaoi, yuri, and a few more I can’t remember. This also included the all important phrase Don’t like don’t read. This was when I was in my early teens.

But I was in a phase where I could find what I found interesting and that was that.

When I got to high school, I was still this awkward quiet kid with no friends. But I did have marching band so that was something.

At this point was was interested in Ouran Highschool Host Club, Death Note, a series called Beauty Pop, Fullmetal Alchemist, and a few others. This was also around the time where I began writing fanfiction for OHSC and even began buying manga. Anyway, this was my introduction to fandom as a teenager. And this is before Tumblr.

All I had were my friends, videos on YouTube, and my own interests. No one really understood why I loved all these things.

Then came the very first fandom I became fully obsessed in my sophomore year: a small series called Hetalia Axis Powers. I was completely invested in this fandom. So much so I wrote fan fiction, bought merch, and read a lot of fan fiction myself. I think it was because, at the time I thought it was because the art style was cute, the voice acting wasn’t half bad and it had to do with history. But this is where things got interesting for me and learning about fandom as a whole.

As a teen, I hadn’t known about AUs and this series had a lot of them. From the usual school AUs to odd ones. I usually stayed in my bubble and kept up the mantra Don’t like Don’t read.

But why talk about it?

Well, let’s just say a lot of the content later on became weird and new. I learned a lot about new terms like de-aging and ABO. But this leads to interest which once again let me know what genres of fan fiction I like.

I continued on with this fandom for about 3 years. And what broke it was the drama and how people were finding a sudden moral compass for personified countries. I mean there are other problems with that show that I recognize now as an adult and didn't see as a kid but that’s for another time. But I quietly left because I was beginning to understand that the drama wasn’t worth a tv show.

I would say the next fandom I was invested in and loved and I think had the least amount of drama was Fairy Tail. Now I fell in love with this series because of the story, characters, and the welcoming fandom. Overall there was rarely any drama because I think we all knew that we had to be civil with each other and respect our ships. While I’m not part of that fandom anymore a lot of people on Tumblr and FFN were very welcoming. The main series kinda fizzled out but that was one of the few positive fandom experiences I had.

I was at that point in my life where I was in college, created my Tumblr and posted regularly to escape life.

Coming off that fandom, I was part of the Yuri on Ice! fandom from beginning to the end. I mean it’s a sports anime that’s about men's figure skating and how it can affect athletes just to get a gist of it.

That’s when my experience with fandom became interesting because these characters were being paired in a way that made me feel like they can’t be paired with anyone else. Like, there was a pairing we were all cheering for to happen by the end.

This is the first series I was highly interested in as an adult where the ages of the characters were defined. There were a few in their teens, some in their early to mid 20s, and a couple in their 30s. Now this was a historic anime for several reasons. The main being there being a gay relationship being shown in a positive light and mental illness being shown in a way that wasn’t patronizing and negative. I loved this show for those reasons. But I also quickly learned how people would take these characters (especially those with huge age differences) and pair them up. That was my first introduction to criticism of how ‘gross’ it would be for a 15 year old to be paired up with an 18 year old. But I saw a problem that made me second guess my thinking. When I was in high school, I knew someone who was a sophomore at 15 and dated someone who was 18. Why was there a problem?

I knew if I voiced this that I would be shamed and told that I was disgusting. Eventually I had enough and left shortly after the series ended.

Then came the Voltron: Legendary Defender series. Oh boy.

Now that series came out while I was in college and I often viewed it in a critical perspective similar to one would a piece of literature because my major was in English and that was what I was taught. Like YOI I was part of this fandom day 1 because it was so different from the original Voltron series from the 80s. I loved how the fandom dissected everything in every episode. There were watch parties, analysis videos, and even skits at conventions. It was a fandom I knew I wanted to be a part of. But then there was fanfiction that I found odd and knew that I never wanted to read that. People were writing about topics that made me uncomfortable and I didn’t know how to deal with it. After a while, I questioned why I was forcing myself to read them in the first place. So, I stopped reading them. This was also around the time where I discovered AO3 and their amazing tagging system. Because if the tagging system was not there, I probably would have stopped reading fanfiction all together.

But then there was drama, shipping wars, morality wars, and I had enough. I was there until it ended and left quietly. Which is sad considering I loved the experience but it was ruined by what people thought was right for fictional characters.

Now you may be asking “What was the point of this post?”

To answer your question, I don’t know.

I have loved reading since I was a kid. And when I got to high school, I had this AP teacher who told us something that has stayed with me to this day.

‘As a reader we are detectives. We want to know why the author wrote this book. We want to know what influenced them.’

I took that saying to heart and approach everything through a critical lens. Which is difficult in a fandom. It’s hard to have a critical approach to a series that everyone takes for a grain of salt.

I have been exposed to a lot of books and pieces of literature that have been considered controversial because of their content. When I left high school, I began to realize what genres of books I like in the YA genre and in literature.

I experimented.

And when you think about it, that’s what you do with fan fiction and fandom. We are always experimenting. We are always finding what we like and don’t like.

But recently I’ve noticed a new fandom term that makes me wonder where I fall in all of this craziness we call fandom.

Pro-Fiction/Pro-Shipper

It wasn’t until last year I saw this word thrown around in a new fandom I am in. I tried to do some research but I couldn't find anything. Nothing. And then I learned it’s a new term in itself.

I won’t go into detail but it reminds of the ‘video games are violent so that makes so-and-so violent’ argument parents made when Mortal Kombat came out.

Well you still didn’t answer the question.

And you’d be right. I saw a post from a follower that saddened me and honestly freaked me out. Why announce that you hate a specific group? It felt like a call out post without saying any names. A warning that states: Block me or out yourself. Or rather: Block me or else.

Do I identify as this? To tell you the truth, I don’t know. I think critically and see things differently. In fact everyone does.

We are always going to be influenced by the media whether it be a movie, television, a book, or a video game. We will always love these storylines and characters. We will always take the messages to heart. We will always cheer for the hero and maybe the villain too.

I do want you guys to remember this, make your own fandom experience. Block those who make you feel uncomfortable and make you feel like you don’t matter. You do.

You are your own person. No one can tell you otherwise. If you feel uncomfortable, then maybe you need to leave the fandom. Or find a space in the fandom that you can be yourself. Or don’t care what people think and do what you always do.

It’s all up to you.

#rant #long post #sorry for those who decided to read this #i just cant stay silent anymore #fandom #fandom toxicity #fandom discourse #fan fiction #personal #i mean #this is getting out of hand #where do i fall in all of this

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welllpthisishappening · 4 years

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Drew Stars Around My Scars

Hello, hey, hi there. It’s raining, I’ve already lost track of the number of times I’ve listened to Taylor Swift’s new album and haven’t written anything in weeks. Until now! Thanks, Taylor Swift. And @optomisticgirl who reblogged this post a few days ago from @initiala about how Killian holding Emma in 3x22 isn’t just that he’s trying to comfort her, but he’s trying to make sure she didn’t disappear.

Which, like...ok, cool. Anyway, I have thought about this for far too long now and started slamming on keys when the kittens weren’t sitting on my laptop and here’s like 4.1K that may or may not make sense, but at least includes some scathing opinions of Back to the Future. Also, thanks to @shireness-says for always being like...yeah, I want to read that.

-----

She sniffles.

She can’t seem to stop.

Tears stream down Emma’s face without much thought because thinking too much is a daunting obstacle that she can’t even begin to consider yet. Or ever. Definitely ever. Another sniffle, this one actually making her cough somehow, which is a bodily reaction she was not aware she was capable of.

Until right now.

When everything seems to be falling apart around her.

God, she hates time travel. And magic. And evil queens. And parents who can’t recognize her. She supposes she should give them a pass. For a variety of reasons, least of all the magic that’s cloaking both her and Kill—no, that’s not right. Hook. Captain Hook. He’s Captain Hook and she’s still not a princess, but the dancing was almost nice and he hadn’t even slowed down before he was drawing his sword and the jacket spin was something even her muddled thoughts have been able to cling to, so—

He’d held onto her while her mother burned. Tightly. Almost too much.

Emma nearly trips over a tree root.

“Shit,” she breathes, pressing the pads of her fingers into damp cheeks. Her dress is too long. Maybe she’ll mention that to Rumplestilskin later.

Once they get home.

Back to Storybrooke. Those are not interchangeable words. None of this is interchangeable.

Even the trees around Emma look different than the ones she only vaguely remembers from her last jaunt through the Enchanted Forest, taller and a little more imposing, like they’re also aware that she’s one good sniffle away from falling off the metaphorical edge.

Directly into a chasm without magic or parents and she didn’t even get to talk to Mary—

“Nope,” Emma says entirely to herself. So, it seems insanity is looming just a bit closer than she realized. “Not here.”

Or ever. There’s that phrase again. Two words, technically.

Two words probably don’t constitute a phrase.

What does she know, she didn’t graduate college. Or high school, technically.

“Literally,” Emma mumbles, and it’s almost impressive how that one word still manages to sound as loud as it does. As if it’s bouncing off the sides of those same tall and decidedly imposing trees. “Literally didn't graduate high school.”

Something snaps behind her.

There are far too many twigs on this forest floor.

Spinning on the balls of her feet, Emma’s hands fly up, only one of her wrists cracking in the process, and it’s difficult to make out the face moving towards her, but the set of his shoulders is exactly the same as always and that cannot possibly have any deeper meaning.

“Swan?” “God, fuck what are you—” Emma is out of breath. That’s absurd. And a rather unfair commentary on her lungs ability to function. She’s had something of a day, after all. Running a hand over her face, she does her best to retain her higher brain functions, but that’s admittedly difficult when there’s moonlight gleaming from the point of Killian’s sword.

Captain Hook.

Captain. Hook.

Maybe the state of her lungs is partially his fault. He really held on very tightly.

“What are you doing out here?” Emma manages to get out, once she’s taken another pitiful breath. She hopes her lips don’t start to chap. There’s probably not an easy remedy for that in the goddamn Enchanted Forest.

Hook gapes at her.

She grits her teeth. And regrets the state of her knees. They keep wobbling under her, traitors to her emotional cause and the state of several body parts aside from her obviously failing lungs. Whatever’s happening in the general vicinity of her heart seems unstable.

Erratic, even.

“Making sure you’re alright,” Hook says like it’s obvious, and it almost is. Almost. What another piece of garbage word. “You’ve been—” Shaking his head once, the ends of his hair don’t move as much as normal, and Emma flinches when he sheaths his sword. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright, that’s all.” Emma is going to lie. She is. Has every intention of letting the word fine pass through her lips, but those lips open without any sound coming out at all and Hook’s eyebrows jump.

“Thank you.” “Excuse me?” “Thank you,” Emma repeats, finally giving into the urge of her knees and, if nothing else, the length of this dress makes it easier to sit on one of these overly large tree roots. Hook’s eyebrows don’t move. “Should have, uh—should have mentioned that before, probably.” “Thanking me?” “What part of this is confusing for you?” “Quite a bit, in fact,” he admits, and he doesn’t sit, but he also doesn’t look away from her and Emma is pleasantly surprised to find she almost sort of likes it. Almost. Again.

Letting out a breath that she wishes sounded more like a laugh than it does, Emma’s tongue darts out. “Shit, that..well, that sucks, doesn’t it?” His eyes widen. “That’s not a euphemism,” Emma adds. “Just out of place slang.” “You might have to be more specific, love.”

“That’s fair. I—ok, stuff sucking is...well, it just means that stuff is...not great. Like right now, you know...things are—” She shrugs. And tries to smile. It fails spectacularly.

Emma sniffles again.

“Not great?” Hook ventures, and he has to readjust his sword to sit next to her.

“Less than ideal.”

“You’ve been gone for nearly half an hour. I was worried something had happened.” “Hence the sword.” “Never want to be too careful. And you’re—” “—At least capable of still punching people,” Emma argues, not sure why she’s doing that exactly, but it feels like a matter of pride at this point. She exhales loudly. “But, uh...it’s nice that you came out here. I’m sorry that you had to do that too.” They both hear the words for what they aren’t — vast and a little overwhelming, and time travel is so overrated. Emma can’t believe what a popular fictional trope it is. Snow White was never supposed to die. The ends of Hook’s lips twitch, but he doesn’t actually smile, and that’s actually nice and maybe that’s her biggest issue.

Everything about him has been so goddamn nice.

He was much better at dancing than she expected him to be.

And he keeps following her. She doesn’t mind that.

Might even—

No. Not now. Not yet. Or ever. Again. God.

“It’s not a problem, love.”

Emma swallows. Nods. Tries not to fall over that ledge. “I just...needed some time to think, I guess. Is that dramatic?” “No. And suggesting it sucks does have a certain charm to it.” “And you know all about charming, don’t you?” His left eyebrow arches. Some things never change, she supposes. Emma focuses on that. And not how she’s fairly certain she can feel waves of heat rolling off him, even with the few inches between them. Possibly a foot. She’s not great at estimating measurements.

Or much else, it seems.

That’s a far too depressing thought, though.

“I believe I’ll leave that particular moniker to others in the party,” Hook says softly, sitting down. “Would you like to talk about it?” “Which part?” “Dealer’s choice.” “That one crossed realms, huh?”

“Some sayings know no bounds,” Hook smirks, and whatever sound Emma makes at that is even closer to a laugh than the last one. She takes that as a positive. “None of this is your fault.” “Practice that a few more times and it might sound more legitimate.” “Swan, that’s—” “—No, no, no,” Emma objects, not standing up, but she shakes her head quickly enough that strands of hair slap at either one of her cheeks. A few of them stick there. Probably because of the tears she can’t seem to stop. “All of this is my fault. I—I should have waited for help with the portal and everything I’ve done here has only made it worse and—” Another sigh, dragging her hand over her cheek. “—Fuck Marty McFly. And Doc Brown. It was so weird that they were friends, why didn’t anyone ever explain that?” “Did they not?” “No, not once. We were just supposed to accept that Marty met some senior citizen inventor guy who was more than willing to steal dangerous chemicals—” “—And he wasn’t a wizard?” “No, he wasn’t a wizard. No magic in the real world.” Or me, Emma thinks bitterly, but that’s not going to help the situation anymore than her current rambling, and she can’t seem to stop rambling. “But Marty and Doc hung out all the time. And Jennifer didn’t even think it was weird.” “Who is Jennifer, exactly?” “Marty’s girlfriend, I guess, but it always seemed like they were just starting to date at the beginning of the movie and then they got married. Just like that. You think they went to the same college or something? Like once Marty left—shit I can’t remember the name of the town.” Hook hums, a sound Emma can’t actually cling to any more than she can hold the one positive thing that has happened to her in the last twenty-four hours in her hands. It is not lost on her that both of them have to do with the man sitting next to her.

Or how quickly his fingers keep fluttering over the hilt of his sword.

“How far do you think we are from Aurora and Philip’s...land?” Emma asks. “Is that the right way to say that? Did they have a land?” “I believe the word you’re looking for is kingdom.” “Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Should have known that.” “That’s not your fault either.” “You’re really harping.” “Playing a symphony, it seems.” She laughs. She does. It’s not that loud, and there’s a distinctly watery edge to it, the muscles in Emma’s face aching when she manages to smile, but she’s having a difficult time coming to terms with the dexterity of Killian’s eyebrows and her hand moves before she thinks about it.

The metal is cool under her skin, a smooth surface that she can drag her thumb across. Which is exactly what she does, an attempt to ground herself and remind her that she’s still here when she isn’t entirely positive she’s supposed to be.

Hook doesn’t move. Might not breathe, if the state state of his shoulders is any indication and Emma hadn’t realized she was in possession of so many opinions regarding Captain Hook’s shoulders. Or her ability to recognize them.

No matter what, it seems.

“While it may appear that I know everything—” “—Ok, I never said that.” Hook’s smirk grows more pronounced. “I was in Neverland for quite some time, and the boundaries of some of the Enchanted Forest kingdoms changed in the last hundred or so years. But,” he adds when Emma opens her mouth again, “we’re more than a stone’s throw from the land Aurora should be ruling. At least several days' travel.” “God, that’s confusing. And did all these kingdoms have separate laws and everything? Who came up with that? Seems like a garbage way to rule.” “I believe you’d have to file a complaint with several different monarchies for that, love.”

Emma scoffs. “It’s quieter here than it was in Neverland, though.” “Most places are.” “Colder too. I hate the cold. I’m always—can’t ever seem to get warm and my toes are always freezing, it’s...I’m a notorious blanket thief.” “Pirate of sorts, huh?” He grins as he says it and part of Emma wants to scream. Stand up and run, as fast as her feet and far-too-long hem allow. But that part is also smaller than usual, and she’s all too aware of the state her knees are in. “Something like that,” Emma agrees. “When I was a kid I used to live in this place. Snowed for months at a time and I—I hated it. Wanted to be anywhere else. Kept trying to find somewhere that was warm, sunny. Like that would chase away the shadows.” Hook is disarmingly quiet.

And Emma can’t shut up.

“But then I got some place where it never snows and it wasn’t what I thought it’d be. Dry heat, you know?” He shakes his head. That’s fair. Pirates with several-hundred years of experience under their belts should not be expected to understand meteorological cliches.

“Anyway,” Emma mumbles, “it wasn’t what I expected or thought was supposed to happen and—” She scrunches her nose. Hook waits. Presumably for the rest of the sentence, but it doesn’t come and she finds it difficult to breathe again when he starts talking.

“Sunlight always seemed better on the sea. Would reflect off the surf. Could see the entire horizon if you wanted to.” “And did you?” Hook nods. “As often as I could. Even when I was lad. My father used to bring my brother and I—” This might be their best and least organized conversation. Gritting his teeth, his shoulders shift when he inhales sharply. “These stars are different from Neverland’s.” “Really? Weird.” “Mmhm, made navigating something of a challenge.”

“But you’re here now, right?” “Presently, you mean?” Another head shake. More moving hair and unmoving fingers. Emma’s knuckles are white around the hook, holding it like a lifeline and she might have to spend the rest of her life thanking him for this.

It’s not as daunting a prospect as it should be.

“I mean past you is here,” Emma says, “in the Enchanted Forest. Doing pirate type things and offering Mary—” Her tongue gets in the way. As disgusting a thought as that is, Emma knows it’s better than thinking about what is actually happening, feeling as if her throat is collapsing in on itself while her heart does its best to beat its way out of her chest. “Shit.” Killian shuffles closer, not stopping until his knee bumps hers. “That happened from time to time. Leaving Neverland, doing jobs for—” “—Pan?” “Sometimes. He couldn't leave the island, you see. Not without losing the magic as well. Jolly’s crew was his only option. Although we always managed to stay here longer than he wanted us to.” “Well, pirates hate rules, don’t they?” “I believe that’s in the bylaws, aye.” She’s got absolutely no idea what sound that one is. Shaky and a little wobbly and some dark, half-forgotten part of Emma’s brain believes it’s drifting close to giggle territory. That can’t be right. She can’t giggle while she’s still crying.

The bylaws of the Universe probably frown on that.

“Is that how you wound up with Cora, then? Stuck around longer and got a good deal?” Nothing.

No answer. No jokes. Certainly nothing even remotely resembling a giggle.

Just the muscle in Hook’s temple, jumping rhythmically and consistently and Emma really does try to stay patient. Her sniffling makes that difficult.

“Something like that,” Killian repeats evasively, staring straight ahead like he can see through the trees. Maybe he can. What does Emma know. Some pirates probably have to have good eyesight. Make up for the eye patches and whatnot.

She nods. No one asked a question. “Ok.” “Ok?” “Ok,” Emma echoes, “you’re a real shit liar and I’m real great at telling when you’re lying, but—” “—Me specifically?” Yes. The answer is yes, but she doesn’t give voice to that either and maybe she should be writing all these things down. The things she’s not saying.

Should say.

Emma can’t believe she time traveled and didn’t even get to talk to her mother.

And that’s the first time she’s really allowed herself to think of Snow White as her mother.

“Super power,” Emma continues, waving her free hand towards her temple. Her other one is still clinging to his hook. “But that’s fine. You didn’t pry, so I won’t pry, I just—” Collapsing throats, she imagines, are supposed to hurt more than this does. This doesn’t hurt, per se, just feels passably uncomfortable, like there’s a wad of cotton in her mouth, making it difficult to say anything and Emma is so bad at saying anything, but Killian is staring at her and—

Killian.

She lets herself call him Killian. In her head, at least .

“I can’t come up with anything else to say except thank you,” Emma whispers.

“You don’t have to.” “Still.” “You’re welcome,” Killian says, and maybe words carry more weight in the past. By default.

“Can I ask you something, though?” He tenses. Noticeably. It’s another round of fair and understandable, Emma’s teeth finding her lower lip until she tastes blood. Another reminder that she’s still here. With her fingers wrapped around Captain Hook’s—

No, that’s not right. Captain Hook did not follow her into a time vortex. Or ask her to dance. Or wear the fuck out of that jacket. Although that last one could use a bit more work, at least when it comes to sentence structure.

The point still stands.

Captain Hook didn’t do any of that. Killian Jones did.

And he—

“When we were watching everything in the castle and Regina was you know…” Killian lips go thin. Emma might be staring at his lips. Past him had been a very good kisser as well. Maybe she’ll mention that at some point. After this. “Well, I just,” she stammers, “I was terrified, for my mom and my dad and even Ruby—God, is that her name here?” “Introduced herself as Red when Snow White sent her.” “Weird.” “Perhaps the best word for the entire situation.” “Or shitty.” “Aye that too,” he smiles, which is not weird. At least not as weird as it should be. “I wasn’t sure what was going to happen.” “Yeah, me neither,” Emma breathes, not exactly the explicit truth, but at least several steps without moving. “I—you have very strong arms.” “A compliment?” “An observation.” Killian chuckles, and this hair really is unfortunate. Normally, that one bit that Emma has come to regard as her own personal torture device would artfully fall across his forehead, a metaphorical arrow towards eyes that always seem to get brighter when they’re looking at her.

As they often are.

But while the hair is different, the distracting tendencies of his tongue are the same. The tip of it finds the corner of his mouth, a soft push on the inside of his cheek, and Emma’s not keeping a list — at least not acknowledging her want of a list — but the tongue thing is definitely one of Killian’s most telling tells.

Seriously, her sentence structure sucks.

“Although,” Emma adds, “it wasn’t that bad.” HIs tongue goes back in his mouth. She’s got to stop thinking about his tongue.

“No?” “No,” she says. “It was...nice.” So, off the top of her head, she needs to fix — sentences, her grasp of the English language, her tendency to repeat herself, and finding better adjectives for emotionally charged moments.

Possibly.

Emma still hasn’t called him Killian to his face, after all.

“What did you think was going to happen?” No tongue, but an obviously tight jaw makes Emma’s stomach jump into her still-collapsed throat. “Like I said, love. I wasn’t sure. Just wanted to make sure you’re alright.” The lie feels like it reaches out, smacks her across the face and then backhands her for good measure. It leaves Emma’s cheeks tingling and something tugs at the base of her spine. Not magic, because she still doesn’t have magic, but maybe magic adjacent, like a memory or hints of a dream that keep lingering at the edges of everything, and she promised.

She doesn’t push. She doesn’t prod.

She doesn’t pry.

And Killian has to move his sword again when he gets back to his feet. “We’ve got a fire going, if you’d like to warm up.” “Yeah, ok. Thanks.” Emma doesn’t let go of the hook, keeps her fingers curled around it as they move back through the trees and neither one of them stumble, a very small, but much needed victory because—

Well, everything kind of continues to suck.

At least for a little while.

Snow White isn’t dead, but she’s a bug, and then she’s not a bug and Emma has no idea where Ruby goes. She’s too busy worried about this nameless woman and wielding a branch gets her another laugh and a smile she’s going to think about for at least seventy-two hours straight. Then there are trolls, and tears of the less-pained variety. Rumplestilskin continues to be any forest’s biggest asshole, and there’s magic and another round of crying and—

Emma runs.

Sprinting across Storybrooke, she ignores the ringing phone in her pocket, determined to hug her parents and hold her kid with her own display of impressive upper body strength.

And it gets better, less suck-like, at least. Food and smiles and the way her mother’s hand feels when it rests on top of Emma’s.

Until she’s sitting — tucked into the corner of a booth with her own face staring at her from the pages of Henry’s storybook and Emma can’t quite recognize the person there. The happiness on her face feels like...well, a story. A good one, but something that she can’t believe was hers or is hers or could be hers and she’s got to add tenses to that list she only kind of remembers.

Glancing around, the muscles in her neck object to the stress she’s putting them under, because time travel is awful and exhaustion is starting to creep its way up her spine.

“Looking for someone?” her mother asks, and Emma’s lips pop.

That’s it.

She understands. Fucking goddamn finally.

Emma might nod. Or shake her head. It doesn’t really matter.

There are no words. No explanations. Just clamoring back to her feet, the bottoms of her boots sticking to the linoleum near the door because one of the dwarves definitely spilled punch at some point and—

His head snaps up as soon as the door closes behind her.

“So, do you think Rumplestilskin is right?” Emma asks, dropping into one of the wrought-iron chairs at the table Killian has commandeered. Pirate term. “I’m in the book now. He said everything, besides our little adventure, would go back to normal. Do you think that it is?”

“He’s right. Otherwise I’d remember that damned bar wench I kissed.” She smiles. Wide and honest and easier than anything has ever been. And Killian doesn’t flinch when she teases him, like that’s something Emma is allowed to do, but she figures once she uses his name and once they start making out like teenagers it’s fine, and this is her favorite kiss.

By far.

No sounds, no rum, nothing except the feel of his fingers in her hair and her knees bumping against his and she tries to claw her way into his space, a burst of colors behind her closed eyes that she knows is magic and him and them, a collective unit that—

“You came out here,” Killian murmurs, the words barely making their way through the haze of Emma’s post-makeout brain.

She bumps her nose against his. “Turnabout and all that. I...I didn’t want you to be by yourself. And I had a thought.” “Which was?” “Did you think I was going to disappear? When Regina tried to kill my mom. I—you said you didn’t know what would happen, but that wasn’t—” “—Super power, huh?” “Not cool to interrupt when I’m theorizing.” “Well, you don’t like being cool, do you, Swan?” Her smile is going to get stuck on her face. That’s...nice. “Was that what it was?” “The thought had crossed my mind, aye.” “Smart guy.” “High praise.” “I’m an official princess now. In the book and everything, so favors from me hold a certain weight, don’t you think?” He smirks. She tries to memorize it. Every shift of his mouth, the spark in his eye and slight scrunch of his nose, what might be a few freckles there or a trick of the dim lights above them.

Emma’s skin feels like it’s vibrating.

“Thank you.” “You don’t have to keep saying that, Swan.” “Yeah, I know, but—I didn’t think about disappearing, but I did think about wanting something to hold onto and that’s...thank you.”

It’s not enough. Not really, but even the concept of holding her tight enough to ensure that she didn’t disappear in some fairy tale realm is a lot for Emma to wrap her mind around, so she’s going to give herself a pass on this one.

And kiss him instead. Kissing Killian is quickly climbing to the top of a brand-new list of Emma’s favorite things. In every known realm. His tongue swipes her lips and she opens her mouth at the same time her eyes fall shut again, a tilt of her head and bump of their chins, and it’s not easy to deal with all of their assorted limbs at this angle, but that just ensures that this is a bit slower and softer and something that is, quite obviously, the start.

Because she came after him this time.

#cs ff #captain swan #cs fic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #THANKS TAYLOR SWIFT

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hopevalley · 3 years

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Season 8, Episode 10: Old Love, New Love, Is This True Love

All right, so...like I said, work has picked up and my eyes feel like old marbles from staring at numbers (the woes of working in accounting I guess) so I want to get this written up and tossed into the nether before I lose steam and motivation to do it. The interesting thing about these little write-ups is that as the week goes on they just get harder and harder to write...

I do apologize in advance to those who like the long-winded write-ups. I’m just not up to it at the moment. Still feeling kind of bleh from the episode.

Let’s go back to an old format, shall we?

The Good

We might as well start out with the things about this episode that I enjoyed!

Gossip Hour with the Men was one of the best openers they’ve had on the show in a while. It was genuinely funny without being meanspirited. Nobody looked like the bad guy. Everyone just calmly talked about it alike it was a normal thing to maybe call off the wedding. Bill calling out Carson for giving marriage advice was pretty funny, Mike was a delight. I don’t know what to say. I’d watch a whole episode of The Boys just hanging around spending time together.

Florence’s worry that she’s ugly was...not a terrible idea for a storyline, but the actress is too good-looking to pretend to be ugly (I saw her in this pretty yellow dress on Instagram a couple years ago and she was smashing)? Also, it’s not like Ned is a handsomely aged gentleman (like Henry lol) so it makes even less sense for the characters. I think they should have gone with Florence feeling she’s “plain” and that dressing up Super Nice makes her feel uncomfortable because she just doesn’t feel like Herself and worries maybe it’s projecting a false sense of Who She Is or something? I guess overall I still liked that an attempt was made to add some depth to Florence and her difficulties in choosing a dress/hairstyle, so...it goes here.

Ned asking Henry to be his best man was nice, too. I can forgive the shoddy pacing and weird placement of this request (like I do with almost everything in the show) but only because the scene was just...so incredibly wholesome.

I like how Henry just casually is like, “Well maybe today’s just not the day.” I think it eased Ned’s mind just a little that he CAN back out if he really wants to.

I think it’s worth thinking about the fact that Ned and Henry would have always worked very closely, since the mercantile would have been a company store before the mine closed down... I like Henry and Ned as pals.

I’m glad the “investment” thing with Jesse and Clara’s savings was brought up in a way that...makes sense. And also, glad it wasn’t forgotten.

I really liked Molly and Florence in this episode. I’m a little sad Florence married Ned because I AM SORRY BUT I WANTED TO KEEP SHIPPING MOLLY AND FLORENCE TOGETHER UGHGHGHH

But their relationship is so good and maYBE Elizabeth will learn something from them.

Hey Elizabeth...you see that?

YOU SEE THAT?

Just saying.

And then later...

“You are the sister I never had, the mother I forever wanted, the friend I have always needed. From the depths of those dark and terrifying coal mines you’ve walked beside me, picking me up whenever I’ve stumbled along the way.”

AAAAAAAAA IT GOT ME.

I’m...really liking Fiona and Mike’s relationship, whatever it is. I kind of think they’re not headed toward anything romantic. Everyone thinks Mike is really into Fiona but at the end of the episode we realize he likes talking to her about business; it’s almost like they have this shared passion for numbers/ideas and he likes infodumping to her (and vice-versa).

I think they’re going to end up being “just friends” and Fiona will end up paired off with the man Elizabeth doesn’t choose. They hinted at Nathan briefly in this episode (with Allie’s hair), but who knows? I’m over trying to speculate on where the triangle is going at this point, but I actually like Fiona’s relationship with Mike so much that I’ll be disappointed if she fades into the background with Nathan or Lucas. Mike deserves more screentime.

Ned and Florence sharing their fIRST KISS. My husband got emotional over this. And I admit, it was starting to get to me, too. I can’t NOT root for them.

I said it before and I’ll say it again: I WOULD DIE FOR THE CANFIELDS.

The wedding was nice. I liked that Bill and Joseph officiated it together; it gives Joseph a li’l trial run of pastoring and finally Bill gets to use some of that power of his to officiate a wedding.

“Please, if you’d like” is such a Bill way to say that they may kiss LOL.

Also, I have to admit that I did enjoy Lucas calling Nathan out about Allie. She wouldn’t be caught in the middle if he’d leave Elizabeth alone AND HE IS RIGHT LMAO.

The last good thing: Elizabeth telling Nathan she doesn’t blame him for Jack’s death. Nice. Good. Thank you. He probably needed to hear that.

...THE BAD

Carson and Faith. UGH. UGHHHHHHHHHH. BREAK UP ALREADY I HATE YOU BOTH.

I appreciated that Carson had the ring ages ago, and I did like his conversation with Minnie—or more accurately, her advice to him. I felt like she was nudging him toward, “Remember why you became a surgeon in the first place.” If he became a surgeon to help people, then there’s no reason he can’t help people where he is. Sure, he might not be doing state of the art procedures but with Faith working alongside him, he can afford time to learn new things and go to doctor conventions or even take a specialized class now and then. No other doctor could get away for very long but he has that chance!

And he’ll arguably be doing more good in the middle of nowhere than in the city. All the doctors want to live in the city. Nobody wants to barely get paid for their time in the countryside.

We had a whole episode that made it clear that Faith and Carson don’t make a lot of money and do a lot of charity work. They also work for trade goods (mostly food). So it’s like...a pretty big difference in lifestyle?

Half the reason I can’t get invested in these characters is because I really can’t stand Paul Greene. He just...annoys me on every single level imaginable. But he’s a decent actor and I can’t help but feel that his character was a massive waste of space for the past few seasons through no fault of the man himself. Imagine introducing a character like Carson and then leaving him to rot before you try to make him interesting with a romance plot that nobody asked for.

Yes, some people really like Faith and Carson, but as a whole I think the fandom didn’t buy into them as a ship due to the lack of chemistry.

It really is a shame. This episode didn’t do a thing to endear me to either character. Please, Carson. I am begging you to leave town.

This one particular line of dialogue almost enraged me.

WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW WE CAN SEE THAT FOR OURSELVES. WHY DID THEY HAVE ROSEMARY SAY THIS LIKE IT’S AN EPISODE OF A CHILD’S TV SHOW?

Elizabeth.........

How could Katie have...looked up to her? She was never in her class? That was? Never part of anything? It was just something they threw in here to force Elizabeth to make 1% more sense in the role she’s in but IT STILL DOESN’T WORK.

I felt like I was back in Season 5 again with Lori and Elizabeth putting their nose in everyone’s business except it’s just Elizabeth!! The whole plot, which was boring and contrived anyway, should have gone to Molly, since she’s Florence’s best friend and another woman from town that Katie would have known as a child.

AND ALSO, MOLLY WOULD HAVE KNOWN KATIE’S MOTHER AND WOULD REMEMBER THE GRIEF THAT NED STRUGGLED WITH.

I know they wanted to make Elizabeth give advice so that she’d Realize that she needs to, I don’t know, make better choices or something, but it was too on the nose for me and I hated it.

GinithePooh on Reddit made a good comparison to Elizabeth in this episode by saying she reminded them of Clippy from Microsoft Word, always popping up and offering to help when nobody really needs or wants advice.

To honor their incredible idea, I opened Photoshop and created this gem, which I will also be posting separately so that people can reblog it if they wish to.

I also don’t think I need to say also filed under The Bad is the fact that Elizabeth didn’t even apologize for being awful to Rosemary and then gave her unsolicited advice to other people for two days straight. I can’t believe they wrote that?

All I can say is that her apology to Rosemary, when it comes, better be good.

And I didn’t like this either:

I wish it had been followed up by literally anything: Nathan saying he’s sorry he didn’t tell her sooner or something to make the hand-holding actually be a little more innocent.

As it is, it just seems so deliberate?

Maybe the next episode starts off right in this scene and we’ll get that? If so, this might actually end up being fine. I just don’t think it is if it doesn’t get a little more direct attention.

& THE UGLY

I debated on putting anything in here, because I’m not ready to talk about my feelings on this matter, at least not fully. But I’ve been pretty quiet all season so far, and...eh, why not just mention things in advance? What will it hurt?

Let me preface this section by saying I’m biased and I doubt hardly anyone on this site will agree with me, so feel free to just ignore this part if that’s the case.

There are two things that I really didn’t like in this episode.

I hate the slanting toward Bill/Molly.

I like Molly just fine but I don’t like her with Bill. I’m biased as all getout and also worried about the future/potential Season 9 with regards to this. I don’t want to see it. Like at all. Why, you ask? You should know why if you follow me. I’m super transparent.

It’s because I like AJ AND I WANT HER BACK LOL.

John Tinker rewatched the series so we know he wouldn’t have missed that hanging plot thread—especially since he didn’t forget any of the other things that were brought up this season! So why didn’t she appear this season? The love triangle absolutely needed to be a focus or it would have never ended, so that’s part of it, but I’m also pretty sure Josie Bissett wasn’t interested in doing any filming last year during Covid. My only “proof” is that Wedding March 6 wasn’t filmed last year even though it was scheduled to be filmed, but it makes sense. Last year was chaos.

THAT SAID, Jack Wagner posted on his Instagram the other day that they are actually filming Wedding March 6 now, so... I guess AJ’s re-appearance in Season 9 wouldn’t come as too much of a surprise if they wanted to write it.

You’d think I’d be hyped about that, and I kind of am? But it doesn’t come without its share of worries, too. We just had the worst love triangle in the history of love triangles and I really don’t want another one, especially if it makes any of the characters in question look stupid or mean.

I fully admit a well-written love triangle could be a LOT of fun for them* (low stakes because they’re not front and center characters), but I saw how Nathan was written so far this season and I really, REALLY do not want to see that happen to Molly, Bill, or AJ.

Anyway, not a fan of the Molly/Bill stuff. No chemistry. I don’t want it.

*I would totally write a fanfic like this lmao.

And finally...the part that everyone will hate me for:

I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ABIGAIL COME BACK. And I specifically do not want her to come back ‘cause I do not wanna see Henry/Abigail happen.

I fully recognize that a lot of you like it and ship the heck out of it, and that’s...good. I’m glad you enjoy it. I loathe it, though, and I worry that all these hints (more like...mentions) are leaning toward...something. Like, either they’re:

1) Sending Abigail off/tying up that loose end with Henry (since nothing was ever clarified either way), or

2) Warming up the audience to receive Abigail back on the show.

I’m pretty into the idea of one-sided Henry/Abigail. Hindsight is 20/20, regrets, that’s all some juicy stuff to give a character like Henry. Some things can’t ever be made right again. He had too direct of a connection to the death of her husband and son for me to ever want to see them together. Forgiveness? Yes. A careful but meaningful friendship? Yes. Romantic relationship? Uh...no thanks.

I liked the Abigail mentions at first because I felt like...the character still mattered (as she should) but I’m at a point where I feel like they’re trying really hard to steer the fandom’s view a certain way and not knowing where it’s going is extremely unsettling to me.

I’ll probably talk more about the things that bother me when the season ends, because I’m hoping to have a better idea of where things are going to be headed, but for now just...know that I feel very apprehensive.

And keep in mind that I primarily watch this show for Bill these days, since all my previous faves (AJ, Frank, the old Abigail, Dottie) have exited, stage left. I also always really liked seeing Henry. So as you can imagine, seeing plotlines I hate for the only two characters I’m invested in? Is making me consider dropping the series next year.

My husband told me I should hate-watch it, but I don’t know if my heart can take it. I’ve been following this series for so long...it just...kind of hurts to feel let down like this?

But sometimes an ongoing series ends up going where you...didn’t want it to, and it becomes something that’s no longer right for you. I hope that doesn’t happen, but last night’s episode makes me feel like...it might be happening for real this time.

I guess if that holds true it’ll be back to fanfiction for me. Will that novelization I planned ages ago end up getting written? Will I write the best love triangle fanfic known to man? WHO KNOWS.

For now, we’ll all have to wait and see! Two more episodes left. I’m really curious to see how they resolve some of the open plots right now. :>

#when calls the heart #long post #character studies and information #analysis and meta discussion

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cordonian-literature · 4 years

Text

The Aftermath - Ch. 18

News

SUMMARY: Drake gets a chance to talk with Riley, while Olivia and Hana begin their journey to Ramsford

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: Mention of character death

*All characters belong to Pixelberry, except those that are unique to my story (I’ve also used some characters and fictional instances from Donna Tartt’s “The Goldfinch”)*

A/N, 9/6/20: you don’t have to read this, but just as a heads up, i’ll probably be updating a bit less since school’s starting. i know i should have posted this notice last week.. but oops. anyways just wanna say thank you all for the likes, reblogs, and comments, it means the world to me. also my bad for not having replied to people recently

Catch up here

Tags: @captain-kingliamsqueen @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @gkittylove99 @lovablegranny @loudbluebirdlover @mom2000aggie @kingliam2019 @queenrileyrose @shanzay44 @cordonianroyalty @hopefulmoonobject @hopelessromanticmonie @cinnamonspongecake @queenjilian @kuladekiwi @twinkle-320 @iaminlovewithtrr @charlotteg234 @amandablink @texaskitten30 @tinkie1973 @louiseingram1208 @queencatherynerhys @pens-girl-87 @missevabean @ladyangel70 @sanchita012 @cordonianprincess @liamandneca @cordonia-gothqueen

I’m so sorry, the tags are being really weird and I don’t know if they’re working or not... but I hope I got everyone down. If I missed someone, or anyone wants to be added/removed, let me know!

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

- Drake -

After everyone had breakfast, the rest of the morning revolved around teaching Gabriel and Eleanor about Cordonian history, diplomacy, and courtly etiquette. Drake, Maxwell, Savannah, and Bartie helped the children in their lessons, while Rowan tagged along.

Liam had told Drake that him and Bertrand would be planning out announcements and a press conference, but also changing Gabriel’s name from Blaise to Rys. Liam was unsure whether it would be alright with Riley if he changed Eleanor’s last name, too, but he told Drake that he would rather leave Riley to herself for the time being.

Gabriel and Eleanor were fast learners. Near lunch, out of the eleven topics that were covered, they mastered almost all of them — except Gabriel fell a little behind on learning the Cordonian Waltz, and Eleanor was having a difficult time remembering her fork placement.

When Maxwell announced their achievements to Bertrand, he said not to get too enthusiastic, considering that it was easy to forget everything they learned. Liam on the other hand, was beaming, and during lunch quizzed Eleanor until she could put down forks and figure them out with her eyes closed (Liam didn’t let her practice that though).

After their plates were removed, Liam retreated into the ballroom with the children, focused on helping Gabriel master the waltz, and teaching them some other dances.

Eleanor picked up each dance quickly, and when she noticed her brother was falling behind, stopped following Liam and helped Gabriel.

“Wait wait wait!” she would occasionally exclaim when they were in the middle of a dance. They were each other’s partners, while Liam and Maxwell would guide them from the sidelines. Both children stared at their feet, and when Eleanor noticed that her brother’s foot placement was off, she would halt.

“You have to put your foot like this,” she would say while repositioning her brother’s feet. “If you do it the other way you’re going to fall!”

“No, I won’t!” Gabe defended himself.

Eleanor stood up straight, squinting at her brother with a partly mischievous, partly evil look in her eyes. “Fine.” she whispered suspiciously. “Then do it the way you were doing.”

They reposition themselves and go through the dance again, Gabriel half a beat behind. When they get to the part where Eleanor corrected him, Gabriel falls sideways.

“Told you so,” Eleanor says, giggling.

Liam helps Gabriel back onto his feet, then Maxwell demonstrates the dance again while both children watch.

Drake’s phone vibrates in his pocket. He leaves the ballroom to check it, wondering who would text him, when he sees that it’s a message from Jessica:

i miss you

Drake thinks, I don’t miss you, and is suddenly shocked with himself. Almost a month ago he was ready to marry this woman, but he hadn’t even thought about her this past week. He suddenly feels guilty, but then a little confused when he tries to remember the last time they talked. If she really missed him, shouldn’t she have contacted him sooner?

Drake turns back to the ballroom to see Liam and Maxwell applauding Gabriel and Eleanor. Sensing that there was nothing they needed his help with, Drake begins to make his way to his room, deciding that it was best to call Jessica.

On his way down the hall, he passes by an open door and suddenly hears someone call out his name. He slowly backs up to peer into the room, and finds Riley sitting on her bed. “What are you up to, Drake?” she asks.

“Oh, I was...” Drake trails off, looking down at his phone, wondering if he should go call Jessica, or take a seat with Riley.

He begins walking towards her. Motioning towards her cast he asks, “Does it still hurt?”

She looks down at it inquisitively and states, “Not really. Liam told me that a doctor would come to check in before dinner. Hopefully they’ll let me know when I can take it off.”

Noticing a chair in front of the vanity table, he pulls it next to her bed and takes a seat. Before either of them can say anything else, Drake’s phone vibrates again with another text from Jessica:

babe? call me when you get the chance

“Who is that?” Riley asks, leaning towards the phone.

“It’s, uh...” For a moment, Drake doesn’t know whether to announce to Riley that he had a girlfriend. He didn’t expect that having Riley back in his life would bring back the feelings he had for her as well. Because of those confusing emotions, Drake was unsure what to do with Jessica.

Of course he wanted to be honest with Riley, but telling her that he was already in a relationship would close any opportunity that they had.

What am I thinking? She’s got a kid with Liam. That door is already closed. There’s no point in keeping it from her.

“It’s just Jessica,” Drake finally tells her. He scratches the back of his neck before continuing, “We have... a history.”

“Really?” Riley smiles, playfully smacking his shoulder. “And here I was thinking that Drake Walker could never let anybody into his heart!”

Drake chuckles, but thinks to himself, Is there a chance she doesn’t remember when I told her I cared about her? It was ten years ago... maybe she remembers it differently.

After a few moments of silence, during which Riley stares at Drake, waiting for him to say something else, Drake cocks his head towards the door and says, “Eleanor’s doing great learning the Cordonian Waltz. Liam’s walking them through the Viennese Waltz right now.”

“Ella’s always loved music and dancing,” Riley states. She looks straight ahead, lost in thought. “When she was a baby and would get really fussy, we’d just put on some music and she’d calm down. She would always sway like she was dancing.” She turns back to Drake and continues, “Theo was the one who decided to sign her up for ballet. She was only five when he said we could put her on Broadway, but I didn’t want to put her in the spotlight.”

Well, with Liam back in your life, they’re not going to be kept away from the spotlight for much longer, Drake thinks to himself.

He clears his throat and says, “So what’s up with this Theo guy? How’d you end up married to him?”

Riley’s face falls, and she stares down into her lap. “We thought it would be temporary. I wanted to come back before it was time to have Gabe, but Theo said that it wasn’t safe in Cordonia.”

“What happened after you had Gabe?”

“It’s all just... a blur.” Her eyebrows furrow, and Drake notices a confusion in her eyes. He thinks it could also be a sort of sadness, but he doesn’t want to assume. “I couldn’t just bring a baby to another country and go up to Liam and say, ‘Hey, this is your son!’ I cut ties with everyone, so there was no way to get in contact. I couldn’t go and announce it publically, either. I just got out of a scandal. I didn’t want to jump right into another one. And I was just... so tired. And mad at Liam. I can’t even remember why I was mad at him, but the feeling is still there.”

Drake expects her to keep talking, but she doesn’t lift her head, and there’s a dark shadow over her face. She finally notices him staring at her, and Riley picks up her head with a smile.

“So,” she starts again. “Tell me about Jessica!”

Drake laughs, running a hand along the back of his neck. “A while after you left... I started going to this bar in the capital, just to have some time to myself. I just wanted to get away from the court permanently... but I couldn’t. Y’know, because of Liam. I couldn’t leave him alone.”

Drake takes a moment to look up at Riley. She’s no longer smiling.

“Anyway. I met a couple of guys, we became friends, they invited me to this party. Jessica was there and we hit it off. We actually were just friends in the beginning, bumping into each other at the bar sometimes. Then it was sort of like a friends with benefits thing, but when Savannah started asking me about it, she commented that we were practically dating. After a while I decided to officially ask her to—” he takes a moment to scan Riley’s expression. “—To, uh, be my girlfriend. We’ve been together since.”

Riley nods her head, trying to keep back a wide smile. “That is... a very simple and uncomplicated love life, Drake Walker. I’m happy you’ve found someone.”

Drake wanted to say something, but decided that there was a better time to talk to her about everything. He knew that she was in a weird position with Liam, and didn’t want to stress her.

“Exactly how long have you been with Jessica?” Riley continues to ask, her eyebrows raised.

“About... six years,” Drake answers.

“And...” Riley shakes her head, a curious look on her face. “You haven’t put a ring on it yet?”

Drake lets out a laugh and leans back in his seat. “Y’know, Liam said the same thing.”

She nods, but then a shadow falls over her face.

“Are things any better between you guys?” Drake asks. He knew that they were both having a difficult time, and it wasn’t really his business, but if there was anything he could do to help them, he would.

“We talked last night,” she states.

“And?”

“We decided that we have to talk more.” Riley chuckles, but the melancholy look on her face doesn’t lift.

Drake leans forward to put a hand on her knee. He was slightly confused at the reserve in her voice. “Do you want to talk to him?”

“Of course I do, Drake,” she states. When she turns to look at him, her eyes are moist. “I’ve wanted to talk to him for the past ten years! But now, I...”

“What?”

“I don’t know if I can.” Silence stretches between them. Drake respectfully doesn’t ask her to continue; he wasn’t going to force her to talk about it until she was ready.

Finally, she speaks up again. “Sometimes I had wished that he would forget about me. So I wouldn’t have to confront him. So I wouldn’t have to tell Gabe the truth.” Riley pauses for another few moments. “I talked to Theo about changing Gabe’s name to Rys a couple of years ago. I thought it would be a way for me to tell him everything, and it would be a way for both of us to get back to Liam. That never happened, though.”

“Why not?” Drake questions.

“Because even though I knew that there were so many things Gabe deserved through birthright... I... still hoped that Liam would have forgotten about me. I didn’t want to go back to all the pain... and I believed that if he forgot, there was no chance at him ever being angry at me for keeping Gabriel from him.” Her voice falters, and she stops talking.

“Brooks, you know Liam could never forget about you, right?”

She squints, and Drake thinks that she’s about to say something about his statement, but instead she just breathes, “Yeah.”

Minutes drag by, and neither of them speak again. Drake notices Riley thoroughly zoned out. He didn’t want to interrupt her thoughts, but he also didn’t want to leave her alone.

Drake forces himself to stand, than gives Riley a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll let you rest,” he says. They smile at one another, and he leaves the room.

- Olivia -

“‘His Majesty, King Liam, announces the return of his ten-year-old son to Cordonia,’” Olivia reads out loud to Hana. They were in a limo again, on their way to Ramsford after Liam’s request a few hours ago. He had also told them to keep a lookout in the news. Just a few moments before, Jacob had sent Olivia a link to an article titled Cordonia’s Heir Will Be Anointed — Ten Years Late?

Olivia continues reading, “‘Mothered by the infamous Riley Brooks, who made an appearance in Cordonia before King Liam’s Coronation, Gabriel Liam Rys has spent the first ten years of his life with his mother and recently deceased step-father, Theodore Blaise.

“‘Gabriel, along with his half-sister, Eleanor, lived in New York City while Cordonia and her king recovered from the treachery of foreign and domestic forces.

“‘A press conference is scheduled for a day before the Masquerade Ball, which will kick off the beginning of this year’s Social Season.

“‘Now, only one question remains: will recently widowed Lady Riley Brooks vie for King Liam’s hand again, or will the mother and daughter be swept aside in the boy’s royal rise?’”

“They are no less cruel, are they?” Hana wonders aloud.

Olivia sits back in her seat. “They can be as kind or as harsh as they want. At least Cordonians are aware.”

“There’s a possibility that some of them have lost trust in Liam,” Hana mentions.

“Of course the fools would. They don’t know that their king was as oblivious as them. And if Liam decides to tell them that he didn’t know he was a father, then all they’ll do is put the blame on Riley.”

The women scroll through their phones for a few more moments, before Hana speaks up and asks, “Did Liam tell you anything else? About Gabriel?”

Olivia puts down her phone and tries to remember her conversation with Liam. “No. But he said that he’s walking the children through a lesson plan of things that are important for them to know before the season starts.”

Hana nods. Both of them look out the window, watching the freezing mountains and icy roads shift into a floral, bright, and warm landscape.

...

“I told Neville that I decided to stay for the Social Season,” Hana states. For the past four hours, the two of them had sat in silence. Olivia would occasionally close her eyes to rest, and when she would open them again, saw Hana doing the same thing.

“Really?” Olivia exclaims, trying to hide the disgust in her voice. “And what did he say?”

Hana’s hands are tightly clasped together. She looks down at them and says, “He says that he doesn’t think he’ll make it to the Masquerade, Derby, or even the picnic, but says that he will be able to join the court at Lythikos.”

“What a doting husband,” Olivia jokes. She said that hoping to make Hana realize that her spouse was incompetent, but Hana’s head hangs low. “At least you’ll be able to enjoy the first few events without his abhorring presence.”

“Yes.” Hana looks up slightly. “And I hope Lady Riley will participate in the festivities.”

“I’m sure she will. I don’t believe she’ll allow her children to go through the season by themselves. Liam will of course be there, but it never hurts to have a motherly presence.”

They both glance off again, but Olivia turns back as her phone vibrates.

There’s a text message from Jacob. It’s a link to an article titled Breaking News!

Olivia opens the link and reads: “Queen Mother Regina has been pronounced dead of a suspected heart attack after being rushed to the hospital hours ago. Her quarters were searched and it was reported that some of her goblets from her famous antique collection have been stolen. Other artworks around the palace are missing as well. Are Cordonia’s enemies back? And if so, what’s with the artistic inclinations?”

#the royal romance #choices trr #choices the royal romance #trr fanfic #trr liam x riley #trr liam x mc #trr king liam #trr fanfiction #trr king liam x mc #trr choices

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aspenflower17 · 4 years

Text

Finding You (Part Six of ??)

Heya! I finished part six (yay!) and it is ready to be read 😁 It’s weird to me I’m on part six already seeing as how that seems like a lot, but also not enough. If you’re new here, the link to Part One is below. I also have links at the bottom of each chapter to go to the next one. You can also find my new Master List on my blog as a pinned post. As always, if you would like to be added to the tags list, just ask in a comment down below, or you can send me a message, and likes, comments and reblogs are always welcome!

Also, for anyone wondering, IKEA was fun (as always), but the store actually reached max capacity.. 1,400 people... During a pandemic... The line was so long, it reached the back of the self-serve furniture area (the place where you can pick up all the heavy/big items), and was starting to wrap around. Note, our IKEA has the switchback thing that amusement parks have for rides... So the line was easily hour wait. Suffice to say, we didn’t end up buying anything.

Part One

The Peeps!: @simpingforsatan @naimena @hachimochi @wrathandgreed @magi-minminxiii @rensphilia

Word Count: 2030

Triggers/warnings: claustrophobia?... Maybe...?

I had my show in the Devildom. It was successful. He didn’t show up though.

Mc sighed, putting her journal down. As much as she hated to admit it, she was too upset to make much more of an entry for the day. It had been her first show in the Devildom, and it had been a huge success. She should be happy. No other show had ever been as successful. She wanted to be happy. She wasn’t though.

Mc got up to open her suitcase. She had made a secret compartment to carry the letter S had written to her. It had given her a lot of strength over the years and she almost considered it a good luck charm at this point. She reread the letter, laying down on the bed, though she knew it by heart at this point.

She knew she was probably projecting too much on S. Besides the letter, she had only spoken with him maybe half an hour. Why was she so caught up on him? She didn’t even know his real name. Yes, he had greatly impacted her life and his letter and words of comfort had been a constant companion, but what did she actually know about him?

A sharp rap at her door interrupted her search, “Mc? Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

Luke entered her room, carrying a tray of tea.

“I figured you could use some tea after the day you’ve had.”

“Oh, thank you,” Mc smiled softly as Luke brought over a chair.

“Still upset?” Luke asked, pouring a cup for Mc.

“Hmmm?”

“Ever since the show you’ve seemed unhappy. Kind of depressed, like when you were a child.”

“Ah, well, I was a bit upset that my artist talk was interrupted so abruptly.”

“That turned out alright though, didn’t it?”

“Yeah. It’s just not the same,” Mc shrugged, taking the proffered tea.

“So, that’s seriously what’s bothering you?” Luke asked, his eyebrow arched, then, “You’ll have plenty more shows down here if Diavolo had anything to say about it.”

“You think so?”

Luke smiled and shook his head at Mc, “Of course, silly. Barbatos told me all about it when I was getting the tea.”

“Well, I’m glad. I like it here, even though most of my time so far has been spent in that gallery space.”

“Well, I don’t know how much Michael likes it down here. I kept telling him he needs to ask Diavolo about Lucifer, but he says it’d be improper.”

Mc snorted, “Well, we wouldn’t want to be improper now would we?”

“He’ll be so surprised when he finds out what Diavolo’s planning for next week.”

“Hmmm?”

“I can’t tell you about it yet. It’s not set in stone, so I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Luuuuke! Where are you?” Michael’s voice came drifting from down the stairs, “I can’t figure out how to turn on the light in here!”

Luke rubbed his temple, “I’ve explained it like three times… Hold on! I’ll be down in a second!” Luke kissed Mc on the cheek, “Get some sleep and cheer up Sis.”

“Thanks Luke,” Mc smiled up at him, “I do have the best big brother don’t I?”

Luke grinned happily, “Good night Mc.”

After he left, Mc’s smile faltered and then fell. Her thoughts returning to before he had come in, “I should probably find something to do to break me out of this. Sulking in my room isn’t going to get me anywhere. I do have a whole castle to explore, though I don’t know how much of it I’m allowed to explore… Surely they couldn’t get too mad about me checking out the library…” and with that, she put her letter back in it’s secret place and left her room.

The castle was quiet, the padding of her feet the only sound. I guess even demons sleep. Her knowledge of demons seemed woefully inadequate as opposed to the knowledge she had about anything else that interested her. There just hadn’t been much information to find in the Celestial Realm unless it was how to defeat a demon, or to break the influence they had over a human. Of course she’d also heard the stories about the Great Celestial War. Six angels, led by the Morningstar himself, had gone on a rampage, and had been cast out. Being a scholar, Mc had never found a reason why they had rebelled, though she had read a lot of theories, most of them mere speculation that cast angels in the purest light possible. These, of course, she hadn’t listened to too intent;y. She knew angels had a lot of secrets already, being privy to many of them; they weren’t entirely innocent in many respects. She suspected this was true of this instance as well.

The library proved to be hard to find in one night, but by the time Mc felt sleep start to pull her back to her room, she had the layout of the castle halls almost memorized. She had actually found it easy to do, easier than almost every other place she’d been in. Of course, she didn’t know everything about the castle. If this castle didn’t prove to have a lot of secret doors and passageways, she would be sorely disappointed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The fog was so thick Mc felt like she could chew it. The ground beneath her feet was soft, but it didn’t feel like anything she knew. There was no sound, not even her breathing. Just a murky white everywhere. Mc couldn’t remember how she got here or what she was doing here, but she was searching. No time to think. No time to remember. She needed to find it. She had lost it. It hadn’t been on purpose, but it had happened. She would find it though. Surely she could find it. It was the most important thing. Cherished. Loved. So important.

The world was growing colder. Her hands were stinging and her feet were clumsy. She could still feel though. So cold. Too cold to move, yet she did. Nothing should be working right now. She should’ve collapsed long ago. How long ago? How long had she been here? Did it matter?

She hadn’t found the thing yet. What was it? If she found it, she’d be warm. It would keep her warm and safe. No more searching. She would never lose it again. She just needed to find it.

A dim light started to pulse slowly. Was that it? Was that what she had lost? No. Maybe it could help her find it. The light got brighter as she continued forward. What was it? Light was good though, right? Light was a marker. Light could help the lost. It illuminated. It could help her find it.

The light was now right in front of her. It was so bright! Almost blindingly so. The area around her started to heat up, her feet and hands throbbing with relief. Was this it? What she had been searching for? Something within her screamed to turn around, but the heat was so welcome, even if it hurt. Hurt worse than anything she knew. She would be safe here. If she had to keep searching, so be it. She just needed to rest a bit. She reached out to the light, her hand backlit against the light. She grabbed at the light, and was then falling.

Mc gasped, sitting up straight in bed. Where was the light? Where was she? After a couple moments, Mc remembered where she was. On a bed. In a guest room. In Lord Diavolo’s castle. In the Devildom.

Mc reached for the glass on the bedside table with shaking hands. Spilling a little on her blankets, she tried to shake off the claustrophobic feeling that lingered. She hadn’t had a dream about her first memory in a while. After she had become an angel she had learned about what happened to human souls after they passed. Some found their way straight to the Celestial Realm, blinking and waking up to the eternal light. Some were wanderers though. While many wandered just a little while, some wandered endlessly through the fog she had experienced. Though the angels didn’t know exactly what caused this, many of those who wandered a long time before finding their way to the Celestial Realm were sad in some way, as she was.

She had gone home that day and asked Simeon about it, and he had told her she had wandered the longest of any soul in the Celestial Realm. She had been very cold and it had taken a while for her to wake up. She had been a little horrified, and Simeon assured her it was nothing to be concerned or ashamed about. It was simply a fact and no one held it against her, least of all Luke or him. She had wanted to believe him so bad, but everyone treated her lasting loneliness as a bad thing, so she had been forced to hide it. Pretend she didn’t feel lonely. Pretend she was fine.

She fumbled for something to distract herself and found her DDD. She worked for a second and finally turned it on, the light actually hurting her eyes. They adjusted quickly though and she groaned as she saw it was nowhere near time to get up. The thought of falling asleep again was not an option so she decided to start scrolling though Devilgram. Apparently the app was rather old as far as in-vogue apps went, but Lord Diavolo had said he would never use a different social media app, so it persisted as the number one app. She still wasn’t really used to the layout, Luke having helped her set up her artist’s talk.

She went to the post and found a lot of comments and likes. She started reading them, smiling as people praised the ingenuity of her work, frowning slightly at those who were impressed “an angel could have such an eye for art”, and rolling her eyes at the comments that criticized her species, clearly just upset she was an angel.

As she continued reading however, she ran across a couple comments asking if anyone had more information about the demons who had caused quite the uproar during the artists talk. Confused, because everyone had been very respectful at the center, Mc opened the replies, and found a whole thread of people who were upset they had been pushed and otherwise knocked out of the way of one demon who had been running through the maze following another demon who had been flying. Many speculated they were the reason the artists' talk had been cut short, and some theorized they were running to the center to harm her. A couple people tried to cut through the noise, stating the demons in question were Mammon and Satan, both Avatars of Sin. Most of the comments about this said Mammon acting this way seemed normal, but they couldn’t understand why Satan would do something like that. It seemed so out of character, a lot of the replies to these comments said they were either liars or sorely mistaken thinking it was Satan.

Mc’s heart jolted a little bit, seeing Mammon’s name. She recognized it as one of the angels who had fallen, and the name Satan had been mentioned in some history accounts as having taken form from Lucifer’s anger, though the information on him had been scarce and some thought he was just a myth. After all, how could someone be born from an emotion?

So, he’s real after all. Not that I thought he wasn’t, or at least, I figured there was at least some truth to the stories. Oh, someone has a picture of them. Wait… Is that?

At that moment, the app shut down.

“No, no, no, no,” Mc said, clicking the app again. It couldn’t have been… Could it? Her screen changed, but nothing loaded. An error message then popped up on screen, saying the app could not load, and to try again later.

Mc sat stunned for a second before springing into action.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Seven

#obey me!#OBEY ME #obey me! swd #obey me satan #obey me mc #obey me michael #obey me diavolo #obey me luke

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mcrmadness · 4 years

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Madness draws: Behind the Scenes of the Bela/Farin: “Widumihei” comic.

A few months ago I posted here this comic:

CLICK HERE for the original post about that comic where you can see it in better and bigger size, and also reblog it ;)

And this post is just a deep dive into how I plan, do and draw my comics.

Let’s start with sketchbook things...

So every comic needs a story, right? My comics usually are born from either some dialogue I imagine in my head or by an impulsive inspiration that happens when I see something or talk with people and a random idea is triggered. I’m very good at coming up with new ideas solely based on just one word or so which is why I often ask people if they have anything they would want to see/read because I suck at coming up ideas on my own. Or I do get ideas, but not as often as I’d want to.

This particular idea was very old and I have tried but I cannot find the piece that was my inspiration but it was in some of my old German books because I remember laughing at it with either my brother or even with the German teacher in 2011 or 2012. I was only able to find my first “sketch” of the story:

This is in the notebook I used for writing down some comic ideas and even had one comic in it, plus it’s also my fanfiction writing notebook. It has no date but I know for sure it was either 2011 or 2012 because that’s when I did my last Bela/Farin comic and pretty much started my (unintentional) 6 year pause from drawing altogether.

I have always been trilingual when I do these plans for my comics, often writing the “narration” in Finnish and the dialog either in English or German because I just cannot imagine them to speaking Finnish. The translation of that text goes as:

COMIC (sarjis = sarjakuva = comic book in Finnish)

1. The phone is ringing. 2. F: “Widumihei?!” B: ? 3. B: “Farin wtf?” 4. Farin walks from another room. 5. B: “Widumihei?” 6. F: “It means, “will you marry me?”“ 7. B: *wtf* REPLAY:

1. Bela is sitting/laying somewhere. 2. The phone is ringing. Reached with his hand? 3. Looks at the phone, “wtf?”, a thought: “von Jan: Widumihei?!” 4. Bela: “Farin?” / “Jan?” 5. F comes from another room, looks in from behind the door frame or something. B: “Widumihei?” 6. F: “Widumihei: “WIllst DU MIch HEiraten”“ 7. B: “WTF”

So when I then started to draw these comics again in 2018, I kept thinking about this one too and still wanted to draw it one day. If you have read the finished comic, you may notice something different in the old plot versus new: I switched Bela’s and Farin’s roles. Back then I didn’t know too much yet but over the years I have learnt much much more about them and I just figured that asking to marry him even as a joke would be too much for Farin and that it would fit Bela’s persona much much better.

***

I had a bit of problems with getting started with this one, mainly because the last times I drew a dä comic was in June 2020, in April 2020 and before those in October 2019. Because of so long time between the comics, I just always forgot about my methods and in which order I do things and what works for me the best. So every time I started to work on a comic, I had to start completely over because all I had was blank paper and I somehow needed to get my thoughts in order and out of my head, into a physical form aka as text and images on the paper, and it’s easier said than done.

So pardon me but from this on the text is going to get a little bit confusing for a little while from now on - but it’s also a very good look over how the life with my suspected ADHD be like sometimes...

I started working on the plot once again to my sketchbook... I think it was somewhere in the beginning of 2020. Because the next idea there is from the summer. This is what the plot looked like at that point - here I had already switched their roles:

Shortly, the texts go: 1. Farin is reading a book. 2. A phone makes a noise. 3. (Farin) looks at it/read the message. / 6. B appears into the doorway. / 11. F spits out the tea.

And underneath it you can see one of the stick figure storyboards I often do in order to kinda see the text in pictures better, and I will write down or draw important aspects like expressions (Farin’s eyebrows) or things like *facepalm’* or *eyeroll* so that I remember to add them.

Next I was struggling with the era. It needed to be an era with the old mobile phones with SMS options but still not too early because I feel that Farin would have not been the first in line to buy a brand new technology object, especially not when it’s a phone. I was even googling when did Germany get their first mobile phone - I remember I got my first phone aka Nokia 5510 in 2000 or 2001 after my mom got a new one and gave her old one to me, so the story shouldn’t happen too many years before the Millenium.

Originally I planned 1997 for that - I needed to think about that based on their styles because shorter hair is harder to draw. Here’s me trying out some hairs and how they’re to draw and which era would suit my needs the best. I actually find the text hilarious altho it’s mine but this is what it’s in English:

Time period -> 1996-1997? 1998 I’ve never drawn 1999 is not that much fun to draw 2000 is already a bit too late? Bela not that much fun to draw. -2001 moustaches are not fun to draw?

I think I was struggling with my thoughts because the next thing in that sketchbook is yet another storyboard:

Or actually I think this was just to see how many sheets I’d need and how many panels I could fit on one sheet.

Anyhow, I then did other things for some time before I got back to this project this year. Including finishing with the sketchbook I had been using since 2010 (and the half of it since 2018!) and I had to get myself a new one. So when I started to think about this comic again, one night I was just thinking about some Bela/Farin scenarios as usual and suddenly I just felt that I NEED to do the comic in the 1998 style!!! So suddenly we jump from the original 1997 idea to the new era, only because of the colors.

So asap I grabbed my sketchbook and started to look for the proper colors for the hairs:

This one I posted here before too as I was struggling a lot and just felt that I didn’t know how to draw, again. Sometimes when I feel like that, I start drawing with my non-dominant aka left hand because it doesn’t have all that in muscle memory so drawing and writing with it feels more free and it feels almost like pressing a refresh button in my brain. Suddenly the right one know again how to draw because left isn’t too well in control. The below part of the image is done completely with the left hand, including the coloring.

And because I had now a new sketchbook, I somehow couldn’t... deal with the plot and plans being in a different sketchbook than everything else so I had write the plot/dialog AGAIN, into this new sketchbook, along with the storyboards and everything:

Translations: kirja = book, puhelin = phone, oviaukossa = in the doorway, teet suusta = tea(s) out of a/the mouth. “Puhelin zoom” just means “close up to the phone screen” in Madness.

You can also see that I found out that I don’t need to do the stick figure storyboards to imitate a sheet when I can just draw this rectangle and smaller rectangles inside of it and write there numbers to match the things in the dialog to make it much easier for me to plan the pages. And here’s also a small easter egg: there’s 13 panels overall in this comic :D I almost did 12 but then felt that no, I really need to do 13 because, you know, the hairs, the era, the album title. And also because I like the number so much lmao.

So from there we get to the second storyboard which is not just stick figures anymore but just me planning how I want the panels to look like. To get the imagery of the rooms and facial expressions etc. out onto the paper so that I can see them in real life instead of my shady imagination that sometimes isn’t as vivid as what I could be.

Also have you ever tried to draw a beach chair? It’s more difficult than you’d think:

I tried to draw the same thing from the same reference photos so many times and still I always felt like I was trying to draw that impossible triangle or some other illusion image. And it just went on and on here:

Originally I also had planned the second panel to be a close up of the phone so that Farin’s face would be left at the background from the frog perspective. That’s what I was trying to with that weird-ass face on the left but turned out that I have never drawn these characters from such angle and I just... couldn’t see it in my head clearly enough to be able to draw it. So I dismissed that idea and that’s why the angle changed from a phone close-up to a side view to the room and at Farin.

As I was in the middle of planning the second page, I suddenly wasn’t happy with my original plot anymore. I wasn’t sure if it would work and needed to think about it one more time. So I wrote two other dialogs here, along with a storyboards for them both. I ended up choosing B from those two options eventually.

I don’t remember anymore if I had already done the first sketch of the comics or not but at some point I just felt that I no longer knew how to draw in my style. Sometimes you just draw and learn wrong things and wrong methods that you get used to and then you have to take a break and actually do a little bit of studying over your own style to find again the way how you want to draw, and get rid of the bad habits and find the good ones again. In my case it was to draw the eyes way way too big when they originally never were THAT big, so I had to learn how to draw them small and normal again. That’s why I did these, as I really needed to pay attention to the faces and remember how to draw them again:

The front-side views were another big readong for this “study” because I have drawn that perspective only once or twice before and I needed to figure out how I want to draw that. Also, I don’t know if it’s just me but for some reason the front-side Farin reminds me of one of the parent characters from this cartoon called The Rugrats which I watched as a kid. It was totally unintentional, but you can google The Rugrats if you don’t know how the charatcers looked like in the cartoon.

The things below are just me testing something. The red Farins were just to test how the colored pencils work on each other and how the fineliners work with the colored pencils, and which way is the better way to do the shading. And the red colored pencil was the only one available at the time so that had to do.

A little bit about the heads btw: You might notice some difference between the left and right faces. It’s because I have always, always struggled with drawing anything that is looking at right. Most of the animal portraits and all I have drawn so that they look at left because I just find it so much easier to draw. I think with comics it’s because I always start with the eye (and the eyebrows if I don’t forget it) and then do the forehead, nose, mouth and chin, and after that I either continue from the hair (from the front) or do the ear first. But when I am drawing them to look at right, I have to basically draw the mirror image and starting from the hair is not the key because it can easily mess up with the perspectives. I still usually draw everything in the same order but it really is difficult because I’m doing a mirror image and my own hand is on the way, too. Basically I’m drawing from right to left instead of left to right! (I think I should try drawing those with my left hand, then...)

And from here we get to the first sketch of the comic. From here on the images are from my phone’s camera so they are sometimes illegally bad but no can do, I again didn’t think I’d post these to anywhere:

Here you can see I was mainly just focusing on the shapes and the space inside those panels. Just trying to see the perspective and how everything is. The only thing that I drew more precisely was the third panel, with the hand and phone. I had quite a nice memory of old phones in my head but I still googled for some reference photos of Nokia 5110 phones as that was my first phone (as I mentioned earlier), and I also happened to have some of my other old phones on the table nearby so I took my own hand reference photos too:

They always say there’s a little bit of the artist in their art and this one literally has that - “Farin’s” hand is actually my hand! :D And I think the size is kinda on point too because this phone was like 2-3 times smaller than Nokia 5110 and I have small hands, and I believe Farin must have much bigger hands, so the 5110 probably would have looked about the same size in his hand.

After the first sketch, the next step was then - the second sketch:

I also wanted to add more action to the panels so that it’s interesting to look at and not just basically the same panel over and over again with just different speech bubbles, so I came up with the idea of Farin spitting out his tea not being as cartoony as it could be and that he would have to actually clean it up instead of just leaving it there just because in cartoons/comics everything is possible. That way I got more depth into the panels and it was also interesting for me to draw because I drew lots of new postures I have never drawn before, and I’m surprised how well it went despite me not even looking for any kind of reference photos! The only things I used reference photos for were the beach chair, and the phone in a hand. (I have actually always been quite good at drawing 3D objects and spaces, especially if they are rectangular.)

So yeah, this is the phase where everything is then finished with pencil and what follows next is drawing the lines with fineliners - I use Sakura Pigma Micron fineliners for everything else, and black Promarker for doing the lines for the panels (and also if I need bigger pitch black areas done).

Here are the panel lines done but I only had a photo of this first sheet.

And here are both sheets with the finelining done and all pencil marks etc. erased. I really like this part because it looks so clean when all those sketch marks are gone. It’s also crazy to think I literally spend hours drawing something in pencil only to erase it all away later :D

And here’s one photo of the coloring process, the first one has only the base colors done but none of the shadows yet (apart from the shirts), and the second one has some of the shadows done but not everything yet.

Usually after coloring, I will then go through everything with the fineliners one more time to make sure all the lines are dark enough as it just gives everything the finished yet a bit “sketchy” look that what I really like with my comics. The actual last detail is always adding my signature along with the date or year.

And here’s the finished comic one more time for comparison:

Don’t forget to check and reblog the actual post about this comic if you read this post all the way here. I’d appreaciate that a lot since art and artist on Tumblr are not really that much appreciated.

#mcrmadness draws #mcrmadness draws: behind the scenes #my comics #dä fanart #die ärzte

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imanativeofswlondondahling · 4 years

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Hidden in Plain Sight (3)- Tom Holland X Reader

A/N: This story is fun to write, but school is taking over little by little so sorry if this gets delayed more than I mean for it to be! Enjoy Chapter Three!

Word Count: 2165

Warnings: Swearing? Maybe? To be honest I can’t remember if I swore or not but knowing me I probably did. But there is mention of a killer moth so if that’s as trigger as it was when it was flying around my room then I’ll mention it here.

You had the absolute worst day. You were hoping it was going to be a good day since you had put on one of your favorite outfits to wear to work. But as soon as you got to work, everything turned into a shit show. A project you thought was finished didn’t save the last days edits, your boss got on you for something that was your coworker’s responsibility, and someone ate your lunch, which you’re not entirely sure how that happened, but it did. Add to it you have the start of what you think is a migraine, the last thing you want to do is anything work related, but because you’re behind on the project that is due tomorrow, you’ll probably be up all night working on it before going in tomorrow to continue working on it at the office. So heating up some soup to eat while you work, you decide to scroll through Tumblr while you wait for it to heat up.

The news of Spider-Man, and therefore Tom Holland, staying in the MCU still hasn’t died down, which let’s be honest why should it? It’s fantastic news. Out of all the Spider-Mans, Tom’s portrayal of it is your favorite and you would be so sad to see him taken from Marvel just because Sony, Marvel and Disney couldn’t come to an agreement on things. It’s only been a couple days since it was announced, but you wouldn’t be surprised if this was talked about for weeks at least. You reblog a couple of photos, adding some of your usual hashtags. Honestly, you want to be distracted by asks, but you know that the likelihood that people will respond is low, plus you shouldn’t let yourself be distracted by Tumblr when you have the project due tomorrow.

Hating seeing notifications, you click on the second icon from the right on the bottom of your screen. You clear off the notifications from reblogs and likes but notices your app is still showing a notification, on the messages side. It’s probably just from one of your friends. You flip over to the other screen and see a message from none other than Tomholland2013, who you’ve been messaging on and off over the past couple of days, ever since you sent him that edit.

You haven’t been super active on tumblr lately. Everything ok?x

Been super busy at work lol. Big deadlines coming up.

You don’t expect to get a message back since you figured from your messages where he mentioned he was in the early hours of the day while you were only in the late afternoon, that he was probably asleep since you got home later from work than you had planned. So you set your phone aside as you pull the broccoli cheddar soup from the microwave. However, you’re pleasantly surprised to see a message waiting for you when you pick your phone back up to head back to your computer to keep working.

Ah, big deadlines. What kind of work do you do, if you don’t mind me asking?x

Hm, this new tumblr friend of yours is awake even though it’s probably the middle of the night for him?

I don’t mind. I work in graphic design. Isn’t it the middle of the night for you?

It would be if I was at home. I travel a lot for work. I’m currently in New York, so it’s only 9pm.x

But it definitely feels like I should be asleep. I’ve only been in New York for a few days and my mind is still on London time.x

What kind of work do you do?

You set your phone down and boot your computer back up. You know you have shadows to deal with and layers to add back before even getting to the stuff you were meaning to get on today. This project was going to be the death of you.

Tom stares at the message. How does he respond to that? He can’t very well tell you he’s an actor. That blows all of this. He likes being able to be open with you and the moment that it comes out that he is actually Tom Holland, well you might not be open with him. Could he tell you he works in the movie field without having to admit who he is? Could he play it off that he’s still a fanboy, because he will be a marvel fanboy until the day he dies, without blowing this whole thing up? There’s just something about you and being able to connect with someone who has no idea who he is that is different.

Even on your blog today, you shared things from months ago and still reacted like it was your first time seeing them. Your whole blog just radiated positivity, even though your messages sounded like you had a lot on your plate outside of the internet world. He wants to be able to know you without the pressure of having to be, well, him. But you’re not asking him to spill everything about who he is. Just a snip-it.

Film production. Getting ready to head off to a new project actually.x

Must be fun to travel for it. Anywhere fun?

Cleveland actually. Haven’t been there before, so maybe I’ll find something fun to do outside of the project while I’m there.x

Maybe you’ll run into Tom. He’s supposed to be there shooting a project I think. Especially if you’re also in the film industry, you’d already have more of a way into things than say I would lol

I don’t know if I’ll have that much time off to look for him.x

Well if you happen to run into him in said little time off, tell him there’s probably half a million if not more tumblr users willing to marry him, should he be in need of a wife, husband, or nonbianary pal.

Would you happen to be one of those said half a million?x

He shouldn’t have sent it. You have been pretty good about responding, but after sending that message, he hasn’t heard from you in over twenty-four hours and he’s beside himself. You also haven’t posted on your blog. Which makes him think you’re avoiding him on the site all together, which is even worse. The flight to Cleveland, wouldn’t have been half bad if he wasn’t worried the whole time about what you might have been sending while his phone was on airplane mode. And of course the one time he would have paid any amount for on flight wi-fi, it was down and no one could use it.

As soon as the plane lands, he’s flipping the switch to connect his phone again. He needs to see if you’ve messaged back. He’s ignoring all the other notifications that pop up, looking for only on apps notifications. And while you haven’t posted again, you have messaged back. Which makes him suddenly feel like he can breathe again.

I’m not the one who took Tom’s name on here. I feel like you might propose to Tom before I even have a chance to meet him IRL.

I don’t think I’m Tom’s type.X

And what do you think Tom’s type is?

And it takes everything to not just describe you. It wouldn’t be hard. He had spent a lot of time deep diving through your blog. He had looked through your #me tab on your blog. It was filled with everything from selfies to posts about things you had done. And you were the kind of person that he was into. It wasn’t an only physical attraction thing. It was the things that you found important enough to post about. The little things about your day that you shared about. But instead of typing back you, Tom decides to type something different.

I think he would be into someone down to earth. Someone who is into sharing time with friends and family equally and someone who has a great sense of humor. Oh and they would HAVE to love Tessa. That would be a must.x

Wow you’ve thought a lot about this.

Do you disagree?x

Surprisingly no. But I thought you’d say something more… I don’t know physical I guess.

Why’s that?x

I don’t know. I just did.

What do you think he’d be into?x

He can’t help but ask. He wants to know what you think he’s like. There’s enough speculation out there about what he’s like, but for some reason, knowing what you think about him, it means something to him.

I would say, similar to you- family, friends and Tessa would definitely be at the top. Sense of humor would be important. I also feel like with there being so much he can’t talk about to the public, having someone he can trust with stuff would be important. I also think trust would be important so that he has a space he can just be himself too. 🤷‍♀️

Pretty spot on. All of those are important to him. He wants to ask if those things are all important to you, but asking that would come off weird, so he takes a different approach.

Honestly if I wasn’t such a div when I was making accounts I would have just made a Tessa fan blog. I’m a bigger fan of her than of Tom. x

SO TRUE. How can you not be?! She’s the purest thing in this world (sorry to Tom) and every time he shares more of her with us I melt a little.

Paddy had sent him that picture of Tessa this morning, maybe sharing it would brighten everyone’s days. Especially knowing that you were such a fan of her too. Adding the picture to his Instagram story, with a quick caption of missing this sweet girl, he quickly uploads it.

APPARENTLY TOM CAN READ OUR THOUGHTS?!

What do you mean?x

Cute Tessa content just uploaded to his Insta story. Apparently he’s away from her and missing her 😭

She’s just too pure for this world x

I needed that right now.

Something wrong?x

Work project might kill me.

It’s due by the end of the day, but photoshop keeps crashing and I might scream.

I’m sorry love x

I’m restarting my computer for the third time today and it’s not even noon yet.

You know he’s English so the love thing shouldn’t throw you. Plus he’s a boy on the internet. But for some reason, it feels like something more. So instead of saying anything about it, you just keep messaging like nothing happened. A small part of you is hoping that by not mentioning it though, it might happen again.

Tom spends the rest of the day messaging you when he can. He knows you’re working on a project that has a deadline, so he doesn’t expect you to be at his beck and call. But when he gets a notification at almost eleven o’clock at night his time from your blog, he hopes it’s one of your personal posts to make him laugh. He isn’t let down.

THERE WAS A MOTH FLYING AROUND MY ROOM AND NOW I CAN’T FIND IT IM GOING TO DIE. IF IT EATS ME YOU ALL KNOW WHO THE MURDER IS

#me #killer moth #save me #if i die i leave everything to tom

He can’t help but send you an ask about it.

Tomholland2013 asked: You know moths don’t eat people right?x

Y/T/B: You didn’t see how big this one was. This one was definitely of the people eating variety with how big it was. And now it’s hiding in my room waiting for me to close my eyes and then it will sneak up on me, kill me, and devour me whole. 🖕

Tom laughs at your reply before sending another ask. Sure he could do this in your message thread, but he’s betting the asks are helping distract you from the moth.

Tomholland2013 asked: That’s a quiet defensive response from someone who is going to be eaten. If you want me to come save you from a killer moth, maybe be a bit nicer.x

Y/T/B: If you will race over here, find this moth, and release it into the wild so that it can’t kill me in my sleep I will make you as many Tom edits as it takes in gratitude. 👏😘Just come save me please. I swear I can hear him laughing in the distance.

Tomholland2013 asked: If he’s laughing in the distance, I’ll be over to take care of him. No one gets to disrespect my favorite blog and get away with it.x

Y/T/B: Thanks darling. I really, really appreciate it. Now I must be off to hunt this moth, before he hunts me.

Tags: @serendipitous-amor @im-still-tryin-to-find-it @tomfiction4 @im-deeply-shallow

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland x you #tom holland fan fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fan fiction #tom holland fanfiction #imanativeofswlondondahling #hidden in plain sight

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rotationalsymmetry · 4 years

Text

Commenting on without reblogging. (Thing is about: communicating about what you’re upset about with your partner or whomever and not making them guess.) (I don’t remember if the original post was partner specific or like...roommates. I’m thinking about partners, but this can apply to roommate conflicts as well, and anyone else you spend enough time with that you’re around each other when you’re not at your best. I’m mostly assuming one on one situations — this can be generalized to larger groups, but with 3 or more people there’s additional dynamics in play and I’m not sure how to comment on that here:)

Yes, and also I think this tends to be harder than a lot of people realize. As in: if just being told you should do that is enough, great. If not...

For those of us who would basically rather die than talk to our parents about our feelings as teens and didn’t have anyone else we could talk to about our feelings to either, it can be really hard to transition into adult relationships of equals and trust that the other person actually cares about our feelings.

For people who have especially extreme or unusual emotional reactions due to mental illness, ADHD, etc, identifying our feelings let alone talking about them can be extra hard.

For many people, figuring out how to say “I’m upset as a result of you doing x” without implying “I think it’s bad that you did x” can be challenging. Especially since a lot of people are primed to automatically hear the first as the second.

This can be even harder if you’re not sure whether you do think that it’s bad that the other person did x or not.

I don’t know what to say about people coming from abusive families, but I’m sure that adds extra layers of difficulty one way or another. Also previous abusive romantic relationships.

Basically we usually learn how to do this stuff by it being modeled to us, and a lot of us didn’t get that modeling. (Or for various reasons, got it modeled but didn’t pick it up. Or our problems and our role models’ problems are different enough that it’s not all that useful.)

Some people find it difficult to form words or say certain kinds of things under stress. This can look like deliberately choosing to stay silent when it’s actually not a choice.

The fight-or-flight stress response makes it harder to use the parts of your brain that control impulses and make rational, thought out decisions. So, knowing what to do when you’re calm and being able to do it when you’re aroused are very different things. Even more so if you’re getting into shut down/dissociation territory. (This is why “take some time apart to calm down” is such common relationship advice.)

Sometimes not only is it hard for B to read A’s feelings, but B might get it wrong. Some people look calm when they’re angry, sound angry when they’re scared, cry when they’re not sad, etc.

Oh, and also some people don’t have close relationships (or healthy close relationships) until relatively late in life, and are making their newbie relationship mistakes much later than most people.

So, what can you do?

Talk about conflicts when you’re not actively in conflict.

Make a plan for how you’re going to deal with intense feelings and/or sustained bad moods ahead of time; know your coping strategies. Let your partner know ahead of time what sorts of things tend to make you feel better or worse.

Look up communication advice (“I feel” statements etc) and either generate some rules of the road together as a couple (/household/polycule/whatever) or make some personal guidelines for yourself. (If you don’t always follow them it happens — this isn’t about whoever messes up first loses the argument, it’s about if you mess up you try to do better next time.)

If you want to keep the relationship, make sure you have a lot more positive interactions than negative ones. Even if there’s big disagreements that need to be talked through, it’s OK to take breaks and have time where you focus on enjoying each other’s company. If you’re in a frame of mind where you can do that.

Likewise, remember to say positive things about your partner etc even when you’re in conflict. “I care about you”, “I want to work through this together”, “thanks for hearing me out”, etc. You do not lose the fight by saying nice things. (Or if you do...maybe your problem isn’t a communication one.)

If either person wants to take a break from a difficult conversation, you take a break.

Think about who else you can talk to about this, or how else you can process the situation. It’s not necessarily a good idea to talk about all your relationship fights with a close family member (or another partner if you’re polyamorous) but often it’s a good idea to talk to someone. So...therapist? Bartender? Hotline volunteer? Random social media “let’s be nice to each other” group? Your dog? Maybe you’d just as soon write in your journal or go for a long walk? Sometimes if you process your feelings first, you end up having a much more constructive talk later on.

Be in process. Learning how to have healthy relationships involves a lot of highly complex and subtle skills. It’s work. It takes time. As with learning to play a musical instrument, you have to do it badly before you can do it well.

What if communication doesn’t help?

Maybe the way you tried it didn’t work or the timing was bad. Give it some time and try again later. (If it’s a big dealbreaker thing or potentially a big dealbreaker thing, get some distance if possible — communication isn’t a substitute for boundaries, and neither is patience or love or forgiveness.)

If there’s a consistent pattern of talking it out not working, or the other person seems to be acting deliberately cruel, this is probably not a good relationship (/living situation) for you. Good communication can’t make another person respect you, it only smooths things over between people who basically like and respect each other.

Couple’s counseling/family counseling is an option in some cases. I recommend only doing this if you basically trust that the other person cares about and respects you and it’s more about getting back to a previously happy relationship than trying to fix a relationship that was broken from the start. In a hostile roommate situation if you can’t move out yet, or if you’re in something that you know is a bad relationship but can’t break up yet, what you want is more boundaries, not better communication. Individual therapy might help with that, but family or couple’s therapy is generally more focused on gaining more closeness and mutual understanding, and less about setting boundaries and getting distance.

Some resources (books unless stated otherwise, authors left out because I’m feeling too lazy to look them all up but I can clarify on request):

Non-violent Communication (the book, but there’s also workshops etc): not everyone’s cup of tea, other people swear by it. It’s set up skills first/explanations second, so I recommend reading the second half first but you do you. If it’s not your thing, that’s OK.

Difficult Conversations

Feeling Good Together: this is a weird ass book, and does not differentiate between healthy relationships and abusive ones, but I’m still recommending it because the “five secrets of effective communication” is actually the communication advice that works best for me in the moment. (The “five secrets” can also be found if you poke around the Feeling Good podcast, which is free.)

Oh, yeah the Feeling Good book and the Feeling Good podcast in general, for people with depression, anxiety, etc. (note: the author/host ...has some very strong opinions, be willing to filter. There’s a ton of practical advice though, so I’m still recommending it.)

The Dance of Anger: short on practical tips, but pretty neat on theory.

Anything about CBT or DBT, or really anything else on emotional management written by therapy people.

I’m especially fond of Taming Your Gremlin on the “learn better coping strategies” front: it’s short, it’s got humor, it’s friendly to people with short attention spans, it does kinda do the “co-opting mindfulness concepts for personal gain” thing but that’s pretty hard to avoid these days, sigh.

Bouncing Back (about resilience and healing from trauma, science based but written for people who aren’t science people)

Burnout (about stress, ditto on the science thing, aimed at women, 10/10 recommend)

The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook (why so much about stress? Because dealing with “stress” is also dealing with fear and anger and hurt and resentment and frustration, that’s why. And because we all know that “stress is bad” and we’re supposed to do something about it, but most people think that means just avoiding stressful situations and WRONG.) (If you just read one, pick Burnout. But, the Workbook has a chapter on anger management so I’m including it for that if nothing else.)

How To ADHD YouTube videos, for people with ADHD and those who love them.

#commenting on without reblogging #relationship advice #communication skills #emotional management #coping strategies #mental illness #adhd #resources #long post

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ellaenchanting · 5 years

Text

Hypnovember 2019 Master List

Jesus. Jesus Christ, that’s a lot of writing. I don’t really consider myself a writer generally and this is definitely the first time I’ve written this much this quickly. I’m going to look at my word count soon, but- I think I may have written a novel’s length of words? Wow.Thanks to everyone who encouraged me during this or provided support/ideas: thinking of @daja-the-hypnokitten , @liminal-wanderings , @mr-ackerman , @spiralturquoise , @wellgnawed , @sex-obsessed-lesbian , and @hypno-sandwich especially here but there were lots of y’all who reblogged or made kind comments. I appreciate every one of them. :)

Here’s a catch up of everything I’ve written so far this month. In honor of @jukeboxemcsa, I’ve also included a HypnoBS rating where 1 is absolute bullshit and 5 is normal Tuesday night.

Icons- 📰- story. 🔊- audio 💻- technology 😍- romantic 🌈- queer 😴- regular ole’ hypnosis 🛀- brainwashing and/or hypnotist in a tub 👻- spooky 🐈- at least one happy pussy ❓- bad or reeeally questionable consent ✝️- author's weird religious feels that somehow kept coming up

Day 1: Base Character-F/f 📰😍🌈🛀🐈

Choice quote: ”Or maybe it was the ship of Theseus- Janine seeing how many little pieces of her she could replace until she fundamentally just wasn’t the same person anymore.”

HypnoBS- I haven’t done this kind of play and have no first hand experience. Let’s say 3.

Newly added 11/18: @undersleeper requested some extra information on how the brainwashing was actually done in this story so I added this non-canon sequel. (I think the sequel boosts the BS score to a 4.)

Day 2: Colors- F/nb 📰😴 🌈

Choice quote: “Bri used to consider themselves a bad hypnotic subject.”

HypnoBS- 4. I haven’t done this induction specifically but love doing these kinds of overloads

Day 3: Dizzy- no gender specified🔊😴

Choice quote: “When you take deep breaths, you feel like you’re getting more oxygen, but actually the opposite is true.”

HypnoBS-5. Should get you in trance, we’re not ranking the accuracy of all the science herein.

Day 4: Sing- m/f kinda I guess? 📰👻❓

Choice quote: “Tonight wasn’t the night to give in, he told himself. Not yet.”

HypnoBS- 1. Thank God.

Day 5: Poison- M/f 📰😍🛀🐈

Choice quote: “Lila could admit it. She was kind of a brat.But Sean? He was worse. He was a fucking troll.“

HypnoBS- 4? Haven’t done it, could probably make something in this realm work with the right person.

Day 6: Summon- F/f 📰😍😴🌈🐈

Choice quote: “Number one, there is no butch street cred. And number two- if there was such a thing, you and I both know that being seduced by a beautiful woman would only increase it.”

HypnoBS- 3 or 4. It’s quick and there would need to be a lot more talking generally. But sure.

Day 7: Underwear- F/f 📰😴🌈

Choice quote: “Under….where”, Destiny tested the word out loud. It sounded like a portmanteau of some sort. She understood the word “under” and the word “where” (or “wear”? “where are” maybe? maybe it was German?) but those two words together didn’t form much of a picture.”

HypnoBS- 5. Although have only done this as a hypnotist so I can’t speak to subject POV. This kind of thing is adorable to watch, though.

Day 8: Neighbor- F/f📰😍🌈 ❓

Choice quote: “When Jiyeon tapped her pencil, Alyssa tapped her pencil lightly to match.”

HypnoBS- 1. Maybe 1.5 since there are no monsters or demons.

Day 9: Idiotic- no gender specified📰😴

Choice quote: “Because Id-iotic. It’s literally what you want deep down”

HypnoBS-4. Not my thing but with the right people- sure.

Day 10: Smell- F/m 📰😴😍🛀🐈

Choice quote: “Belinda had also woken up from sexy dreams at night to the feeling of Ray’s head buried in her cunt.”

HypnoBS- 3 on the details. Some parts are more plausible than others. We’re outside my realm of experience here so others could probably rank more accurately.

Day 11: Broadcast- Hypnovirus/f 📰💻🛀✝️

Choice quote: “It felt important to present herself to the screen in a way that demonstrated her vulnerability and openness to instruction.”

HypnoBS- 4. Probably not likely, but I could see this kind of symbolic bleed with the right person pretty easily.

Day 12: Stage- M/m 📰😍🌈😴

Choice quote: “Brandon had not mentioned the hypnosis thing to Scott- it felt weird and personal and he had already half-convinced himself that he was being creepy in response to Scott’s platonic friendliness. He didn’t want to scare him off. He had never expected to see him here.”

HypnoBS- 5. At least as far as the hypnosis goes

Day 13: Bath- no gender specified 🔊🛀😴

Choice quote: *insert rambling about Pat Collins here*

HypnoBS- 5. But also a high general BS score. I was tired and needed to finish a thing. I am surprised but grateful people liked this one. :P

Day 14: Machine- M/f 📰😴💻😍✝️

Choice quote: “For as long as she could remember, Deidre had longed for self-annhilation.”

HypnoBS- 1. That’s not how brains work.

Day 15: Ooze- there’s a m and a f 📰😴🛀❓

Choice quote: “For example, your badge- did you know that putting all the stickers on the top of your badge like that usually means that you’re a hypnotist?”

Amy’s eyes widened a bit. “It does?”

HypnoBS- 2. Sadly.

Day 16: Wedding- something/f 📰👻❓

Choice quote: “She knew then that she was alone. No one could help her. No one could even see her.”

HypnoBS- 1.

Day 17: Gentle- a different something/f 📰 kinda 🐈❓✝️

Choice quote: “As long as she didn’t focus on it, it would write the story for her.”

HypnoBS- 1. I think. :P

Day 18: Infection- not stated/m 📰 🛀❓

Choice quote: “If he could just get the song out of his head, maybe he’d have a chance.”

HypnoBS- 2.

Day 19: Hideout- F/f 📰 🐈 😍😴🛀🌈

Choice quote: “’Come to me, pet. Come to me.’

Mesmera.

She could always sense when Galaxy Girl was weak. She consistently picked the perfect time to strike.

And now, she had found her apartment.”

HypnoBS-4.5

Day 20: Watch- no gender specified 🔊 😴

Choice quote: “Feel your thoughts just tick tick tick tick ticking gone”

HypnoBS-5

Day 21: Fighting- F/m 📰 😴

Choice quote: “His mistress loved resistance play. She delighted in watching him struggle and strain against an irresistible impulse.”

HypnoBS-5 Mmmm :)

Day 22: Mistaken- F/an entire hypnocon 📰 😴

Choice quote: “Ginger- submissive, wide-eyed, bottomy Ginger- was holding a crowd of 8 people in her hypnotic thrall. Some had their eyes closed already, while others were staring at her with the rapt look of early trance.“

HypnoBS- 4. But only because I haven't seen it yet. :P

Day 23: Heist- F/m 📰 🛀❓(😍 but it’s pretty messed up)

Choice quote: “The inside of the vault had gotten somewhat sparse-looking- David had been cleaning out the bank out at a much quicker pace recently- but there were still plenty of treasures here to bring to his mistress.”

HypnoBS- 3, maybe 2

Day 24: Business F/f 📰 😴😍🌈

Choice quote: “Summer was a well-mannered southern girl at heart. She knew that if something was none of her business, it was impolite and rude to know it. Best not to think about it too much. She didn’t want to be nosey.”

HypnoBS- 4

Day 25: Babble F/m📰 😴 🛀 (💻 kinda)

Choice quote: “You can feel your access to language lessening….and lessening. Feeling those parts of your brain losing blood, quieting, going to sleep. Imagine what that might look like on the fMRI- the color draining, darkening, going black. Your ability to use language can be almost completely gone.”

HypnoBS- 5 (Neuroscience BS- closer to 3)

Day 26: Enemy M/f 📰 😴😍🐈

Choice quote: “When she was denied for long periods of time, everything became sexual.”

HypnoBS- 5. Unf.

Day 27: Confidence F/m 📰 😴❓

Choice quote: “Dr Eleanor had been recommended to Richard by his friend Jon who had seen her previously. “She won’t bullshit you,” he had said, “she just gets right to the roots of your issues and helps you solve them.” He must have known what he was talking about- a year after visiting Dr Eleanor, Jon had recently married a wonderful woman. He was also running marathons and succeeding professionally. There were worse people to listen to, Richard thought.”

HypnoBS- 3 (although this kind of gaslighting is real and can be effective)

Day 28: Abduction F/f M/f background m/m 📰 😴😍🌈

Choice quote: “’And so she….’ Lilliana stopped. She stared for a moment in surprise at the space between Cirie’s fingers. Cirie looked like she was holding a small, invisible ball. Liliana tried to recall her train of thought (something about work?) but found herself strangely blank.

She looked at Cirie in astonishment.

‘You took it!’ she accused.”

HypnoBS- 5

Day 29: Doctor Doctor/Master (from Dr Who) 📰 😴🌈💻

Choice quote: “The doors in the Master’s mind all appeared to be open. The Doctor quickly scanned for malicious intent but-

Oh.

Oh my.

So that’s why.”

HypnoBS- I...uh...1?

Day 30: Kink The author/her self-indulgent whims 📰 🌈

Choice quote: “Ultimately, she really just liked her friends- and she especially loved hearing all of their stories.”

HypnoBS- Cake. Imma eat a cake.

Thank you all for reading these! I know this is a long post, but I’d really appreciate reblogs of it. If you’ve liked my stories, please consider leaving me a tip on Ko-fi! Also I’d be happy to give extra information on any of the characters or a bit of what happens next if you want to send me an ask about any of these stories. I’m finding myself with a strange craving to write. Funny how that works. :P

#hypnovember #hypnovember master post #me/my sense of accomplishment #thank you all again for reading!#my writing

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mysecretatticsstuff · 5 years

Text

No regrets.

Word count: I have no clue. Lol.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut.

Okay so this is the first piece that i'm posting here. FINALLY. I hope i'll continue in the future. I was too lazy to proof read. I hope you enjoy. Like and reblog folks. :)

_____________________________________________

You were dressed comfy, sprawled out on the couch. It was your night today. Finally after a month of hard core work you finally got some free time and you were not ready to waste this weekend. For this occasion, you planned a movie marathon and to eat some of your favourite comfort food.

You were happily watching the 2nd thriller of the night when someone knocked on the door. You cursed the bad timing and went for the door. You were in such a hurry that you didn't even consider to check through the peep hole. Upon opening the door, you find a pair of dimples happily displayed to you.

"Namjoon!?" You said.

"Hi" he chirped.

Namjoon was your colleague. Head of the department of anaesthesia at the best hospital in your city. You were his subordinate. He was the youngest to crack the interview for the post. You joined the department a year later. At first it was a bit rusty between you two. Both held pride in landing in the job only people past there 40s do. There were no visible clashes of course. Both of you were professional enough but the tension was definitely there for you to feel. Plus, let's just say, that the situation would be 100 times better if namjoon wasn't as handsome as he actually was. He was a giant. Tall, honey toned skin, caramel blonde highlights in his hair, muscular in built. These features made him look like a greek God. From the inside tho Namjoon was shy to open up to people, had the sweetest smile, was caring, a whole gentlemen. It took some time for both of you to be comfortable with each other, but eventually you made a great team. He started opening up to you, even teased you when the situation demands.

And now he was standing outside of your apartment. You were wearing a plain white tee and the shortest shorts you owned. You couldn't help but notice how his eyes went straight to your legs after his greeting. He was wearing a pair of light blue ripped jeans and a plain black t-shirt. And to be honest you couldn't help but stare at him. Why the hell does he look so good in just jeans and a t shirt?. Maybe you were too used to formals at the hospital. Eventually you spoke up , "Is everything alright? Is there an emergency?"

He raised his eyebrows, "Oh no no, I was just passing by the area, thought i'd say hi, and eat some food together." He revealed two bags that he hid behind his back. Realising how weird it sounds he added, "Also I needed to talk to you about today's case".

"Oh, yeah sure. Come in please" you invited him inside. As he entered, you suddenly became 10 times more conscious about your apartment. You mentally tried to remember any embarrassing things that needed to be hidden.

Inside, he looked around, and maybe realized that you were quite enjoying your girl night in. "Hey, I hope i didn't ruin your night. You have been working really hard for the past month."

"Nooo.. i'm glad.. i mean.. it's not an inconvenience at all." You realized, your cheeks felt warm, your ears have probably turned red too. Shit.

It's not the first time, Namjoon was in your apartment. Usually your apartment was the pit stop where you'd discuss important cases in advance. It was convenient because it is on the way to Namjoon's place and it was close to the hospital.

You quickly made space on the couch, "Here, sit"

Namjoon places the bags of food on the kitchen counter and then plops down on the couch. His eyes wander around the apartment. Finally resting on the TV screen.

"Whatcha watch'n?"

"Gone girl" you said, trying to hide the excitement. You were a movie buff. And this movie was based on a book which you had read and enjoyed. Even better.

"Ahh.. interesting.. i loved it" he smiled warmly, eyes turning into crescents.

"Oh yeah, it's thrilling... Umm.. Do you mind watching it again? We can eat first and then discuss the case"

"Sure, I don't mind at all"

"Okay then, let me bring the food here" you practically hopped to the counter.

Both of you cozied up on the couch with a blanket. You were careful to maintain a decent amount of space between you and Namjoon. Although you didn't know why you suddenly started feeling hot. Around 15 minutes later, you were half done with your food. Throughout this time, you kept sneaking glances at namjoon.

Was his jawline this sharp all the time? That black t shirt clings to his body so well. You could imagine the all the rippling muscles underneath. He was lazily chewing, watching with interest. He was wearing hoop earrings today. You did notice his piercings before but he never wore jewelry to clinics. He dressed so casual today yet he was looking like a snack. You realised you were pressing your thighs together. Gosh this is going to be tougher than you thought.

Before you could come out of the stance. Namjoon glanced towards you. He raises his eyebrows.

"Like what you see y/n?" He smirks. He fucking smirks. As if you weren't flushed enough. You were sure you looked like a red owl right now.

"Huh.. o..oh it.. are you done?" You stutter. Shit.

He was about to say something when the room was filled with sounds of lips smacking, loud moans and heavy pants. Both of you looked at the screen... You could see the ecstasy that was happening in the movie.

The situation has now entered a whole new level of awkward. You cross your legs to get some relief. He cleared his throat. You finally look at him, only to find him already looking at you. The expression he has on is quite a visual to look. Eyes dark, as if he wants to devour you right there. You squirmed under his gaze. The tension was too much, the room felt hot. Non of you spoke. You rise from your seat, go near him. You finally break eye contact to pick up his bowl. You don't know what made you so bold, you won't deny you're a little frustrated. The tension between the two of you is getting unbearable. So you bend down, in your loose v neck tee giving him a full view of whats underneath.

He clenches his jaw. Exhales loudly. His eyes going just where you thought it would. He is not trying to hide his intentions either. He grips your hand midway, jerks you towards him. You totally loose balance, and slam straight into his chest. You can feel his muscles, firm, body hot, he smells rustic.

"God, you're driving me crazy". His hands grip your waist firmly.

You could not form any words for a reply, your heart was hammering out of your chest. So you just stared at him. He chuckles slightly and bends down to your ear and wispers, voice falling several octaves. "If you want me to stop, say it now, because I don't think I can hold back any longer with the position you've got me in." You have been dreaming about him for months, clinics were becoming a torture. You thought it's a silly crush but the tension between you two just kept on growing. Somewhere in your mind you knew he felt the tension too. But he never showed a sign. You felt like your body was going to catch fire. You finally mustered out some courage and pressed yourself into him, arms crossing back on his neck, "You think I want you to stop?"

You feel his member getting hard on your front. He curses to himself, and in a blink his lips are on you. You couldn't help but moan in response. His hands travels down from your waist to your hips finally landing on your behind. His lips are plush and It seems like he knows what he is doing. God he is a good kisser. So good that you think he must have had a lot of practice. That thought quickly goes away because of how he starts squeezing your bum. Massaging and pressing your front onto his hardness. You know you're fucked when you feel yourself getting weak in the knees just with a short kissing session. You both pull apart for a while. He looks at you, eyes blown out with lust. "I've been thinking about this for so long now. Seeing you in clinics was getting harder day by day, you don't know how many times i'd mentally strip your clothes off."

You bit your lip, Kim Namjoon the hottest guy you know imagines stripping your clothes off. So all this time, you weren't wrong. He did look at you differently in clinics, eyeing you from top to toe when he thinks you weren't paying attention. Sneaking glances at you thinking you were in deep thoughts in a patient's file. You smirk at this. Wasting no time you crashed your lips against his. This time the kiss was urgent, filled with desire. He showed no softness either. You took one of his hands, slipped it under your tee.

You got goose bumps at his touch. His hand snaked around to your back, finding their way to the hook of your bra. He unclasped it in one swift go. You need to question him sometime about the unpopular skills he got. He didn't waste time after that, feverishly bring his hand to your chest. Stopping a little at your underboob, you moaned in his mouth. That was all he needed to fully grasp your boob. He growled low in his throat groping at your softness. He played with your nipple, making it hard. Just when you thought it cannot get any hotter. He gripped your tee with both hands and pulled it up over your head and finally let it drop. He stopped kissing you and his heated gaze fell at your nakedness. There you stand with just your shorts, totally wet for a man who hasn't even shed a single piece of his clothing. By reflex you cross your arms to cover yourself. He senses your discomfort, "Baby, you're beautiful, don't hide yourself please". With this he lifts you off the ground, your legs wrap around his waist and then he takes you to your bedroom, just like that staring into your eyes. You show him the room, and he places you down at the edge of your bed. Now it's your turn, you start stripping him. His t shirt at first, you wait after he is bare chested to just admire his body. You knew he works out, it was pretty obvious by how his shirts hugs his broad chest. Your mouth waters at the honey toned skin gleaming at you.

"Enjoying the view sweetheart?" He tilts his head. He knows he has got you in all the right places. That cocky bastard. You step away, slowly lower your self onto the bed, and scoot towards the headboard. "You know, if I had known you were eye fucking me this entire time, we could have done this sooner" you said, with your confidence growing.

"Now don't act all coy y/n. I've noticed how you have been squeezing your thighs when we are alone." "I'm sure you get off by thinking about me. Ain't that true?".

He unbuttoned his jeans, slowly stripping it off. Your heart was racing, butterflies raging in your stomach. You would be lying if this wasn't thrilling. The moment Namjoon was in his boxers, your eyes went straight onto his member. Specifically to how hard he was. With what your seeing, you can tell he is big. Overall Namjoon was even sexier than you had imagined. Thick thighs with muscles flexing at every move, broad chest with honey skin, arms with his veins popping. You started imagining how this man could ruin you.

You didn't realize that you were speechless at his words. He slowly crawled towards you, face inches away. His body caging you.

"I asked you a question y/n" he kissed you briefly.

"Yes" you answered.

"Yes, what?"

Is he really asking that? You're already knees deep in shame. You're sure you look like a tomato. All the boldness that you showed was gone now. And the sweet shy Namjoon was also gone. He was talking dirty, with dominance, jaw clenched and it was making you dizzy.

"Answer me, or i'm gonna leave"

"Yes, I get off by thinking about you,.. about this" you covered your face with your hands unable to look at him anymore.

He chuckled, "Hey, you don't need to be ashamed" he took both of your hands, wrist crossed and held them above your head. "Besides, since you confessed, i'd like to make you cum, sweetheart". He pecked you on your lips as his hands went straight down, and held your aching core. You moaned at this but bit your lip to hold it back.

"Don't hold back, i want to hear you scream my name" he commanded. He palmed your clothed core, earning a string of delicious curses and moans in response.

"So fucking responsive, and I haven't even started" he half grunted. The fact that he was restraining your hands above his head was making this 100 times more stimulating. You were rutting your hips against his palm. It seems like you both found a rhythm, untill he suddenly stopped.

"Uggh... Namjoon,. Don't stop please." You were squirming. He let go of your hands, propping himself on his elbows he started ravishing your neck. Gosh you were sure to get marks tomorrow. With your hands free, you starting letting them roam on his body. You gripped his hair, and he let out a groan. So he likes it rough you thought. The other hand was caressing his back. He slowly went down with his wet kisses, and you felt your stomach tense. He sensed this.

He look up from the bands of your shorts, as if he was asking for permission. You made a little nod. He grinned devilishly. How were you supposed to live after this? He slowly pulled down your shorts, removing your underwear with it. You closed your legs with instinct.

"It's okay beautiful, open up. Let me see that pretty cunt of yours". Those word worked like magic and went straight to your core. You moaned. He seperated your legs. For a moment you got panicked. What is he doing?

"So fucking wet already, all for me" he grasped both of your legs pulled you down and let a breathe out near your core. You squeaked, you could feel the coolness of his breath and it was a sharp contrast to how hot and bothered your core was. Honestly at this point you wear so desperate for some relief. He had been teasing your ass for a long time now and you were getting impatient.

"Stop fucking teasing Namjoon, i swear if you don't do something now, i'm gonna get off by myself! " You shouted.

"Uff,... Needy much?" He smirked. You looked down to see how much he was enjoying this. With this, he licked a broad strip over you and you clenched in air.

Namjoon's tongue was heaven. No man had ever made you feel like he did. He knew exactly what you wanted and when you wanted. He held a vicious grip on your hips and he was showing no mercy. He ate you out like a starved man and you were near the edge in minutes.

"Oh. God.. N.. namjoon.. i'm gonna cum" you gripped the sheet with all your strength.

He saw that you were falling apart too quickly and then he stopped. You were furious. Almost at the brim of crying. Edging you like that. What the fuck was he even thinking.

You looked at him, anger flaring, "What the FUCK?" You were so worked up at this point that you couldn't even speak. You just look at him, tears about to spill.

He reached up to your lips and kissed you.

"This is payback baby, for all the times you left me hot and bothered, those little glances of yours. A touch here or there pretending them to be mistakes" You could not believe this. This man is pure evil. No! This man is Satan himself.

You were about to cry when, he started sucking your neck and he inserted two fingers inside you. You were wet beyond belief. And he loved that this was because of him. Then he started a mercy less rhythm with his fingers. You find yourself clenching again. The tension building up slowly. He then added his thumb, the pressure on your now sensitive bud was electrifying. It was all you needed.

You held his shoulders with such a grip that you were sure he would have bruises after this. He kissed you sloppily.

"Y/n look at me when you cum!" He growls.

You try your best to look at him. "Fuck, Joon,. I'm.. it's so intense.. ugghhh".

And you came crashing down. Your body quivering. Tears spilling out of pleasure. You almost black out at the end. Namjoon kept fingering you throughout your high.

You went limp after that. Panting heavily.

You don't know how long you've been like that but when you finally stir up, you see namjoon watching you contently, propped up on one hand. Your eyes make contact. He is still sweaty from the intimate activity you guys pulled through.

"Hi", you finally said breaking the silence.

"Hey" he replied back, smiling genuinely, dimples on display.

"Well umm.. i.. it was.." you didn't get to complete the sentence when he added. "Hot...... Y/n, it was hot".

You felt your blush creeping up. But suddenly you realised that he must have not finished by himself. You quickly grabbed him by his neck, one hand snaking down to his hardness, "Let me return the favour, yeah?" You said. He was rock hard, you couldn't believe how the heck was he controling himself. So you did what you could. You started stroking him, gathering some of the precum to coat his thickness.

"Jeez, y/n... Just like that baby". He was hot, so fucking hot that you could come all over again, just by looking at him.

He kept making these low grunts. Whispering some sweet profanities into your ear. It turned you on even more, you always saw his professional side. But this was something else. He was thrusting in your hand, his hand was digging on your hips. You were sure they will be purple by tomorrow but you didn't care. Seeing Namjoon loosing his control was one of the hottest things you witnessed.

"Y/n, I'm... I'm going to cum.. Aggh"

"Come for me joon" he didn't need to be told twice. He came hard, blowing his load on your hand and probably on your bed. He covered his face with his arm, panting like he just ran a marathon. You grabbed some tissue to clean him up.

You were totally silent after that, your mind running to and fro thinking about what you both had done. You can't deny the fact that it was hot, and if situation demands, you'll probably do it again. Namjoon finally was breathing normally. He sensed your discomfort and slowly spoke, "y/n..?"

Your heart was pounding, your stomach clenching "Yeah?"

"I want you to know, I don't regret any bit of what happened between us today". He turned his head to look at you, eyes soft. You were surprised by his confession, remembering how professional he was plus with his politeness whenever he talked to you, you were half expecting him to say it was a mistake. You must have been silent for a little too long, eyes mildly wide with, shock? regret?, He couldn't read, he said, "Say something please, the silence is killing me"

Your heart was pounding frantically right now, but now your stomach was filled with butterflies. You snaked your hand with his, interlinking your fingers. To this he gasped. "I really like you", you blurt out.

Namjoon lets out a nervous laugh, then he visibly relaxes, "Well that was definitely unexpected. Y/n if you haven't noticed till now, I REALLY like you too. Hence.. this" He pretends to be thinking seriously. You roll your eyes, then turn towards him, "So what now?"

"Will you go out on a date with me y/l/n?"

You blush at this. "Yes" you say. He smiles, dimples on display.

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