#why are fic writers so bizarre

[yourstrullyme]

why is it that i just read a lovely, soft, cottagecore style, well written, in character, fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop café fic, but when i go check out the writer its their only fic and their first bookmark is a fucking hermione/snape smut fic with 130k words???

talk about range baby

[beneathashadytree]

HI GUYS! LONG POST, MAKING A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT OVER HERE! I WILL BE ACCEPTING WRITING COMMISSIONS FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, DUE TO THE FACT THAT I LIVE IN EXTREME POVERTY… PLEASE REBLOG!!

Here are my commision prices:

1$-2$ —> an SMAU (depends on length)

5$ —> a drabble (around 500 words)

10$ —> a oneshot (around 1000 words)

20$ or more—> a ficlet (2000-4000 words or more)

What fandoms I’m willing to write for (the ones in bold are the ones I’m best at and hyperfixating on):

Attack on Titan

Mr. Love: Queen’s Choice

My Hero Academia

Haikyuu!!

Jujutsu Kaisen

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure

Moriarty the Patriot

Tokyo Revengers

One Piece

Bungou Stray Dogs

Kuroko no Basket

Ikemen Sengoku

Ikemen Vampire

Ikemen Revolution

Ikemen Prince

Love and Deepspace (my current fav)

How do I request a commission?

Either contact me via my DMs here, or on my Ko-Fi! I’ll be linking my account at the bottom of this post.

What’s the commission format?

Tell me your name or your OC’s name, their gender & pronouns, describe them to me both physically and in terms of personality, then tell me which character you want me to write them with. I’ll be writing “character x reader” or “character x OC” fics, so I need to know what I’m working with! Any extra details will help a lot. Of course, we will discuss everything concerning your commission privately.

If you want to check out my previous works to have a rough idea of how things will look like, be sure to check out my masterlist, which is my pinned post! Of course, my writing improves over time, so it may not be precisely as it is there.

How do I pay you?

You can pay me via my Ko-Fi account, which is linked to my PayPal! Here’s the link to my Ko-Fi.

Please consider helping me out, whether by requesting a commission, or by sharing this post and my links as much as possible!! I’m trying my best to do all I can now that I haven’t got many options left.

As some of you might already know, I’m a dentist, but still at uni. Sadly, studying dentistry is extremely expensive, and I can’t rely on my parents to pay my fees for me for a few reasons.

The first being that my dad is a heart patient, and can’t work anymore. The pension he receives is literally less than the equivalent of 90 dollars. Of course, that doesn’t provide anything in terms of food and living (we usually can only afford a meal or two a day) except for some of his meds—not even all of them. His health is steadily declining.

My mother is extremely narcissistic and very, very abusive. I’ve gone through hell living with her because I have to, but even she can’t even afford to take care of us because no one wants to hire her at her old age, and she’s used up all her savings on my dad.

I’m also physically disabled, and can’t move around often. I also have to have surgeries every now and then because of the chronic illness I have.

I am in serious, dire need of money, both for my tuition fees, and hopefully to be able to live. I have to keep us afloat until I can get married in a couple of years, since I can’t live alone. Besides, my dad doesn’t deserve to suffer with his heart problems.

I tried working with dentistry last year, and that worked for a while, but this year no one’s hiring due to the terrible state of our economy. I have no skills aside from my writing, so that’s what I’ll have to work with. I’m getting seriously desperate, so I hope you guys understand why I’m doing this, and hopefully feel inclined to offer any support you can—even if not financial, but just by reblogging this post!

[hd-erised]

We’ve come to the end of our second week of @hd-erised, if you can believe it! We've had so many amazing works, and we’ve got many more fantastic works still to come! 

All of our wonderful works from this week are linked below. And we hope you're having as much fun as we are!

Don't forget to check out our First Weekly Round-Up in case you missed anything from last week :)

Thank you so much for your continued support of the fest. Please don’t forget to take a moment to leave a comment for our artists and writers. We know they all appreciate your love! <3

Art:

Us, again? for @nv-md [M]

Fic + Art:

A Dragon to Call Mine for @annanother-thing [E, ~24,000]

Fic:

Don't Fear the Reaper for @thehoneybeet [E, ~36,900]

Harry anticipates it’s Luna or maybe Hermione at Grimmauld Place, here to rouse him out of purgatorial listlessness once again. Instead, Harry finds an opinionated crow, a scroll with his name on it, and one exhaustingly persistent Draco Malfoy, who insists that Harry is his latest soul to Reap. The only problem is…Harry’s still alive. Or so he thought.  Quote: Learning how to live takes a whole life, and, which may surprise you more, it takes a whole life to learn how to die. - Seneca

Sub rosa for @hoko-onchi-writes [E, ~37,100]

After the tragic and unexpected death of his mother, Draco Malfoy’s quiet life as Potions Master, Head of Slytherin, and Hogwarts professor gets upended—first by the manifestation of mysterious and inexplicable magic, and then by the revelation of an inheritance deliberately hidden from him his entire life.

Bare Moon Rising for xErised [E, ~15,500]

Potter moved towards him, sticking his hand out. “If that’s the case, we’re both doing it. You do the nude Tornados calendar, and I’ll do the Auror one. Most sales wins.” Oh no. “Are you backing out already?” Potter leaned in closer, voice dropping to a whisper. “Finally admitting that mine’s bigger than yours, then? Or do you want to cop a feel first?” Charities could bugger off. Nothing good ever came of them, really.

Fighting the Chill for @bicholsdrarrysideblog [M, ~25,400]

What should have been an average and dull day for Draco Malfoy, turned rather south when he's attacked in the middle of Diagon Alley.

palindrome for @threading-fate [E, ~25,800]

“Why did you let me kiss you?” Potter smirks. “That’s not how I remember it. Why did you let me kiss you?” “I’m stuck in a time loop. You’re not going to remember, so,” Draco’s tongue drags, calcified around the words. “Why not.” Potter’s brows furrow but the smile stays intact. “That’s the best you could come up with?”

A Soft Place to Fall for @epitomereally [E, ~142,500]

When Harry arrives for his first year teaching at Hogwarts and is struck with a bizarre malignance, how on earth is he supposed to react when Draco Malfoy suddenly cares?

All These Winding Threads for @amomorii [E, ~35,400]

The tides of Draco’s accidental magic pull him under and leave him gasping. There’s a hungry ache that sits deep in his bones, growing worse every day. Soon it’s all he’ll be, a starving skeleton clawing at its throat. He needs a solution. Unfortunately, that solution looks an awful lot like Harry Potter. 

[xxsycamore]

"I can't have sex with you Arthur, I don't have enough diamonds!!"

Arthur Conan Doyle x f!Reader • rating: M (MDNI) • tags: Breaking the Fourth Wall; Crack; Implied Sexual Content; Suggestive Themes • wordcount: 580 • masterlist

a/n: I've had this crack fic idea since FOREVER, but I think it's relatable at any given time... Tagging @ikemendood for crack content 👉🏻👈🏻

It has been one of these days, when it feels like you and Arthur have been locked in the universe of some kind of action movie. Bizzare and dramatic things have been happening all day long, some that led to miscommunications between you but quickly got resolved with the power of love...

Naturally, eager as you both are to once again prove your love for each other, things begin to get heated at the end of the day.

And then you gasp panically in realization.

"I don't have enough dia for the epilogue!!"

You find yourself pushed down on the bed, but in the last second you manage to block Arthur with your hands so he can't get on top of you yet.

"Hmm?~What did you say, Luv? You know, I've been waiting to have you sprawled under me allll day..."

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and you let out an agonizing whine at having to disobey your own need. You turn to your side and reach for your cellphone that has been charging on the nightstand.

Arthur blinks, still perplexed that you're using this thing at all. While you could charge it just fine, he wondered what you're using it for in this day and age.

Not to mention at a time like that. While he's right there, ready to devour you.

"Dear?"

You appear to be tapping hurriedly on the thing, blue light illuminating your face as some strange music is produced from the bizarre piece of technology. Without looking at your lover, you struggle to mutter an answer.

"It's- You wouldn't understand."

Arthur remains frozen in his place, observing as the screen flashes, your fingers dancing on it. He sees... test tubes aligned on the screen. They're ...filled with different colored liquid?

You rush to sort them by color as if you're being held at gunpoint. Arthur has never been so confused in his life.

"Luv, you're right, I don't understand. But you could just say if you don't feel in the mood for-"

"NO! I MUST GET THE EPILOGUE AND HAVE SEX WITH YOU TONIGHT!"

"...?"

The sultry conclusion, the epilogue of your day spent together, he figures. His writer's vocabulary might be rubbing off on you. That's kind of endearing, but...

Arthur sits down on his haunches perplexed. Is this some strange form of bedroom roleplay you're introducing him to?

"I must have you, Arthur, I even saw the preview and it was so hot-"

"The preview? You're saying you had a naughty dream about us making love and you want to see it come true? Dirty girl..."

Arthur's distracting words make you mess up in your game, and you have to restart the level. Just a few more and the game will give you a reward in diamonds, then all you need to do would be to watch those annoying daily ads and then it should be enough...

Seeing that his dirty talk has no effect on you, Arthur sighs and moves away from his position. Instead, he lies down next to you, becoming your big spoon as he looks over your shoulder at the game you're so consumed in, seeing that you're not going to pay him any attention before you're done with it.

"It's some kind of puzzle game, isn't it? Maybe you should leave it to me, Luv... in the meantime, why don't you tell me more about that 'preview' you saw of our intimate time together, hmm?"

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran    @pumpumnnnp @thesirenwashere @ravenarld @kimmy-banana @devonares @galaxyprison @sadshaxk @starshards26 @thewitchofbooks @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @keen19thcenturygoatsstudent @lordsister @ikemen-banshou   @themysticalbeing @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @aquagirl1978 ​ @ikemenlover24 @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @aria-chikage @babyblue0t7 @rhodoliteschaos @shrimpy-kitsune @princess-pray-a Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Have you ever felt the fanbase itself has become too crowded with people who act like they "know better" then the show?

I've noticed this, specially with artist, that while they claim they're "fixing designs", most either "over-complicate" the designs (Despite them looking good) but they also seem to have a little arrogant over it.

I don't hate redesigns, that's not what I'm saying, but seeing people claim they're "better" or are "fixing" designs while over-complicating a design that's supposed to be "simple".

This is a complex question because fan content that attempts to re-imagine some part of canon has traditionally always been called "fix it" content. The term "fix it" has also always been treated pretty neutrally in fan spaces. Traditionally speaking, saying something is a "fix it fic" just means that the fic is directly addressing canon in a way that other works don't. It's the creator saying, "I want to give you a different take on something that canon did." That take usually exists because the creator doesn't like something in canon, but at the same time, it doesn't necessarily mean that the creator thinks that canon should or even could have done the fix. It just means that they want to share their ideal take on the idea.

Because I come to fandom with that history in mind, I don't see a statement like "fixing Ladybug's design" and interpret that to mean, "This is how the show should have designed her as I've taken into account all of the concerns that one must address in animation." I interpret that to mean, "I wasn't a fan of Ladybug's design, so I did my own take on her," because that is traditionally what "fix it" was shorthand for. It's not a technical evaluation or competitive standing. It's a genre.

This history seems to be ignored in parts of the Miraculous fandom and that completely threw me off when I entered the fandom. It still throws me off! I have no idea what's going on around here!

While many Miraculous fans are using "fix it" in the traditional sense, there also seem to be groups that see "fix it" as some sort of direct letter to the writers/designers showing them what they should have done. To add further complications, one sub group of Miraculous fans is USING "fix it" in that context, which is an issue I will get to in a minute. The other sub group is INTERPRETING the words "fix it" in that context and I can't change that. I can just tell you that this is straight up bizarre to me because what are you supposed to label fix it content if we can't use the words "fix it"? Why are you ignoring decades of fandom history? You are reading way too much into those words!

I don't know if it's because Miraculous skews younger or if it's because of fandom drama that predates my entry to the fandom (I'm a COVID convert, so I didn't get here until after season 3) or if I've just been lucky in the past, but both the reverence and the hatred towards Miraculous canon is highly unusual compared to what I've seen in other fandoms. I'm more used to fanworks having a tone of loving irreverence or mild annoyance where canon is seen as a series of optional writing prompts that you can do with what you will. The reason for that tone has a lot to do with the fact that it's wildly unfair to compare canon to fanon, especially when it comes to visual media.

The fun of fandom spaces is that we can create without the limits that stifle professional productions. It doesn't matter if our stories are marketable or if the designs we come up with fit a theoretical budget or if we only produce a new chapter/drawing once a year. This means that, yes, fan works often have the ability to surpass canon! At the same time, it's rarely fair to make that comparison on a technical/competitive level. I will criticize Miraculous for many things, but here are some of really basic challenges that the show writers face that I - a fanfic writer - never will:

I can use as many sets as I want, the writers are limited to the settings that have been animated

I can make my stories as long or as short as they need to be, the writers have to make the story episodic enough to fit a 20-minute run time while also drawing things out for at least 8 seasons

I can write a story that doesn't have an akuma attack, the show has a very clear rule that every episode needs to contain a fight sequence

I can put the characters in whatever outfit I want, the writers cannot because every outfit needs to be animated

I can take my time plotting out my story from start to finish and even go back and edit things if I feel like it, the writers have hard deadlines and things get set in stone very quickly

The list goes on, but it can be summed up to: as an independent creator, I can do anything I can imagine. I am only limited by my own talent. Meanwhile, the writers of an animated show for kids have to follow very strict guidelines due to things beyond their control such as budget concerns and network rating guidelines. We are not the same. You should not compare us on a technical level.

This is where we circle back to the whole "using fix it as a way to directly criticize canon and show the creators what they should have done" thing. That's not a take that I'm ever going to be comfortable with because fix it content rarely tries to fit the same confines or deal with the same instability that canon is subjected to. If you use fix it like that, then you are taking the concept too far. You're also being quite arrogant.

If I see someone do this, I tend to assume that they're pretty young or that, at the very least, they know absolutely nothing about how TV shows work. What you see on the screen is often not what the creator would have given you under ideal circumstance. Some of the best examples of this come from times when a creator was given pretty ideal conditions only to then have less than ideal conditions when the property was revisited as that highlights that you really can't just blame the writers. The most well known examples that come to mind are Avatar the Last Airbender vs its sequel Korra and Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings vs his Hobbit movies.

For a really in depth discussion of LotR vs The Hobbit, you can go watch Lindsay Ellis' fantastic documentary for free on youtube. For this post, I'll just go into the high level stuff of Avatar vs Korra.

Avatar asked for three seasons and magically got three seasons. Korra was supposed to be a 13-episode miniseries, but was expanded to four seasons after season one was done. The show then had budget cuts that messed with the last season due to poor performance. Shockingly, Avatar was the better show. I wonder why? Just imagine what Korra could have been if it had been given four seasons from the start!

At the very least, I can guarantee you that writers wouldn't have ended all of season one's plot lines in the season one finale, leaving them to start from scratch with season two which is generally considered the worst season. Once again, I wonder why?

Because of all that, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a fix it fic out there that takes all of Korra and reworks it to make everything flow better. I wouldn't even be surprised if I find that fic to be better than canon because the fic was only limited by the writer's talent. On the other hand, the actual show was massively limited by things beyond the writers' control, meaning that it's overall quality issues are less a condemnation of the writers and more a representation that even awesome writers can't perfectly adjust on the fly when networks meddle.

Of course, Korra doesn't have extremely fundamental writing flaws like Miraculous does, but the principle remains the same. I can point out Miraculous' flaws with certainty, but I cannot necessarily fix them with certainty. That's assuming too much.

But there are different types of criticism and different ways of engaging with the source material. What I do on this blog is mostly focused on high level discussion of the show's flaws and spit balling ways to fix them without really committing to anything. I'm not telling you how the show should have been written. I'm just pointing out flaws and talking about the things I think the writers could have changed or accounted for, though it is always possible that I'm wrong and this was caused by something outside of the writing circle.

That's why I rarely mention anyone by name. I cannot point a finger and say "this is the person who ruined Lila's potential and this is why they did it." I can just tell you that Lila was poorly executed when she didn't need to be. I don't want you to send this blog to the writers, but generally speaking, it is the kind of feedback that I'd be comfortable giving them if they hired me as an editor or script doctor. When I act in those roles, I'm much nicer than I am on here because I know that the writer will actually read what I say, but I am just as brutal about pointing out flaws because that's what I signed on to do. I'm not here to stroke your ego, I'm here to work with you and help you improve your story.

When I write fix it fics - and I have several - I am engaging in a very different type of criticism. I'm not discussing specific flaws in canon and telling you how to address them within the limits of the show. Instead, I'm giving you my ideal version of a given concept from the show so that you can hopefully enjoy it and maybe even use to find some catharsis for a thing that you also didn't like. I'll also change things about the show just to keep things interesting or to be highly self indulgent. For example, I avoid umbrella scenes in my stuff even though I think that the canon umbrella scenes are cute and well written. It's because they're so iconic that I do something different! Why revisit them when I have nothing to add? I'd just be copy canon! It's more fun to do something new since there are other ways to have Marinette and Adrien fall in love.

It's a very nuanced type of criticism because it's true that these stories only exists because I'm saying that canon did something wrong and I want to show you how it could have been better. But I'm also not limiting myself to the confines of canon or even just improving canon to make my argument, so it's impossible to compare them on a technical level. That's not why I write fix it fic, though. I have this blog so that I can discuss writing concepts and how to learn from Miraculous' failures. I write fix it fics to have fun and indulge my imagination. For example, I have a fic that's basically my ideal take on Chat Blanc and there's no way that would work in the context of canon. In the context of canon, I'd suggest far more minor changes or even tell them to scrap the episode all together.

Be it fix it content or more high level critical analysis like I do on this blog, it's important to remember that canon isn't going to change. Even if we could sit the writers down and convince them of everything that they did wrong and everything that they should do to fix it, they can't actually enact those changes. The story is already out there and time machines aren't a thing. But that's not what fandom content is about. Blogs like this are for people who enjoy thinking about stories critically and discussing how and why they fail. Good fix it content is all about saying, "I didn't like canon and think it would be better if X happened" or even "I liked canon, but got this idea about how it could be different" and then sharing the idea with other fans. This is because any and all fan content is for the fans (and former fans), not the creators.

So yes, I think it's valid to make fan content that "improves" canon. I even think it's valid to compare it to canon in a casual manner as that's just a natural thing that humans do. Give me two versions of something and I will automatically compare them and probably even pick a favorite. The thing that you need to be careful about, the nuance that you have to keep in mind, is that fandom is a casual space to have fun with other fans and to create whatever our talents will allow us to create. When we use terms like "fix it" or say that we like something better than canon, that context needs to be kept in mind. I will never be concerned by a reader telling me that they liked one of my stories more than they liked canon or that they wish that canon had also included a concept I've played with. That's just a statement of preference. I only get concerned when I get comments about how "the writers should read this so they can learn from you" because I didn't write it to teach them. I wrote it to have fun with my fellow fans and that is true for every bit of fandom content I produce.

I know that was long, but hopefully it answered your question? My main draw to fandom spaces is fix it content, so this is something I'm pretty passionate about. If I think that a piece of media is perfect, then I don't seek out fan content for it. I only join fandoms on those rare occasions when media hits that sweet spot of good enough to grab my attention, but bad enough/lacking something to not fully satisfy me.

[utilitycaster]

@just-a-moon-phase replied to your post “I have a lot of things in fandom I'd call "Brown...”:

please OP, where is the theory... I am listening...

​re: having a theory about why using non-canon nicknames cor characters specifically tends to be technically harmless and minor but also is really frequently a signal that someone's takes will be bad:

I think it's that it's both a quick shortcut to indicate intimacy, but it's also really generic and often out of character for those doing it.

To use Caleb as an example: not only did various German speakers in the fandom (of which I am not one) say that it's just not really a common thing linguistically/culturally, the nicknames people tended to use (usually at the time for Veth) were intended by the writers to be fond and platonic but were often either the sort of thing you'd only say in a romantic context, or else were nicknames very much intended for one's own children.

However, more importantly, Caleb very, very specifically doesn't really use nicknames in canon. He in fact frequently calls Beau "Beauregard". During a very emotional moment at the time of her transformation, he specifically uses Nott/Veth's full name. He refers to two of the characters we know he had romantic feelings for, Jester and Essek, by only their last names on at least one occasion, which reads to American audiences as either formal or perhaps fratty, but distinctly not romantic. As @essektheylyss said at some point, Caleb tends to use epithets a lot though mostly when talking about someone in the third person (eg: "our Kryn friend,") and the closest we ever get to any term of endearment is him saying "my friend," which again sounds quite formal. Caleb in general gets more formal with those he loves, not less. It's a great character detail, and anyone who peppers "spatz" into their fic like it's going out of style kind of comes off as, to put it kindly, not very good at finding characters' voices. Unfortunately, that is in my opinion literally one of like two things you cannot fuck up in fanfic for it to be good; if you don't get the voice right, then even if it succeeds as a story it fails utterly as fanfiction.

Anyway Caleb is a really good illustrative example because it's so clear from canon that this isn't his voice, but it applies anywhere. It's a sign that this person is cutting corners instead of actually establishing a base from which there will be a rewarding payoff.

(will say: this also, bizarrely, often applies to people who called Trent Ickythong/Ickythot or people who call Ludinus Luda, though it's much less reliable there. I feel it's similarly like, people who rely on shortcuts and the idea that the fandom will agree with them because these are clear villains, and never actually go deep enough to come up with an argument. Like in the end it always just feels like a cheap and insubstantial discussion.)

[azelmaandeponine]

Why I M O, Pokeshipping is dead. ( kinda hot take, sorry pokeshippers. ) So, pokeshipping. The very 1st ship in the Pokemon anime’s history. I personally am not a fan of it, I did watch the original anime, and I personally don’t like misty’s character. It was off putting to me.

Now as to what your here for, what killed pokeshipping. There are 3 main contributors to the death of pokeshipping.

1.) The length of time from when misty was replaced to now,

2.) Serena and Amourshipping

3.) The Pokémon sun and moon anime

The length of time from when misty was replaced to now. Now while this might not have been much of an issue if the other 2 bullet points didn’t exist, it has been over a decade at this point, since we last saw misty, meaning that we have a severe lack in character development, and that gives time for other potentially better ships to be created, which leads me to my next point,

Serena and Amourshipping. Possibly one of the biggest ships right now, (which at this point isn’t going to fizzle out anytime soon. ) With Amourshipping going so far, as to introduce a major plot point in ash’s story by having Serena be his childhood acquaintance, many other points that multiple poketubers like Catch ‘Em All Saul, bring up in their videos from years past, to the kiss, and even the writers basically confirming the darn thing.

Amourshipping Confirmed?

So at this point, ( unless they throw all that away, which please. Don’t. ) there is next to no hope of pokeshipping to ever become cannon, which is only further proven by my last point,

The Pokémon sun and moon anime. Now, this is honestly the iceberg that sank the ship, because Brock and Misty returned twice in the Sun and Moon anime, which I’m pretty sure was for let’s go promotion. Now this is where all hope is lost for pokeshipping because even though they returned twice, Misty had literally zero emotional moments with ash whatsoever. No pokeshipping pandering, no flashbacks, nothing. Here’s another video explaining that further.

They did Misty DIRTY!

Now while the only good thing to come out of the re-return episodes was Brock possibly finally finding a girlfriend,

Brock x Olivia

This was the point of no return for Misty and pokeshipping in general. Misty, even though she returned twice, in the most recent anime, had literally no development, and nothing to show how she grew as a character since her absence, her return seems pointless and devoid of substance, and with another ship still gaining popularity at an exponential rate, I’m sorry pokeshippers, but,

It’s time to pay your respects, and move on.

RIP pokeshipping

1997-2023

This is so weird.

I watched the anime, and I found Serena far more off-putting than Misty, since...she inexplicably had some bizarre backstory with Ash (despite being from Kalos), and that backstory was "she knew him for like five minutes but still has a crush on him for some reason". It doesn't help that instead of talking out her issues with Rhyhorn Racing with her mother like a normal person, she just bitches out her mom. But I figured, hey, a point for growth!

Then that didn't happen. Her crush ended up so overblown and obsessive it didn't feel natural (especially not for a ten year old), and her mother was proven right in the end about Serena giving up on stuff too easily. Also, the person Serena ACTUALLY had chemistry with (Shauna) was shoved aside in order to try and force @mourshipping.

Also the idea that Pokeshipping is dead due to Misty's return in SuMo (years ago) is...a wild take.

Additionally, Misty also returned in Journeys.

Also Ash isn't even in the anime anymore???

Anyway! Since this is pretty easy to check:

Pokeshipping is the top Pokeani ship on AO3. It's followed in second place by Journeyshipping. The platonic relationship between Ash and Pikachu has more fics on AO3 than @mourshipping does. If Pokeshipping is REALLY dying out in favor of @mourshipping, then why does @mourshipping have less fics on AO3 than BOTH Pokeshipping AND Journeyshipping?

[novantinuum]

Which one is knowing, loving, being? Is that one about the blorbo Steven?

Yessss ahahah, this is the one with the Gem Steven design I won't shut up about on discord XD

(thank you for taking my bait and asking me about this fiUSHKFNSUGJH my evil plan worked)

E eeeeee *cracks knuckles* time to RAMBLE! I am so excited about this one, lmaooo. If you're wondering where all my "Crack the Paragon update progress" energy went these past few months, I am so sorry besties- but it got funneled to this project instead. I need to finish this goddamn fic by the end of the year like I need air.

The tl;dr of it all is that this story is my adult human!Steven/gem!Steven/Connie propaganda piece, and also a place to explore my personal take on how Steven works like,,, biologically,,, as a bizarre hybrid of two beings who are fused but also Not Really. Certainly not in the way fusion works for OTHER people.

Mind you, this fic is very NSFW, as will be the snippit I share- so the rest of my rambles will go under a cut. You have been warned.

Okay, so the broad strokes. This one's gonna be 4 chapters-

Chapter one will focus on a recently married 23 yr old Steven heading out to Rose's Room so he can work through some mental bullshit regarding the split he experienced as a kid. That trauma still lingers all these years later, and there's still so much he doesn't fully understand about... about what happened. About being outright cleaved in two. He ends up having the Room conjure a cloud version of his Gem half- the most unfamiliar and alien one of the two, to him- so he can try and talk out his confusions.

Chapter two features Steven nosediving into an obsession over an impulsive kiss he shared with that friggin' cloud version of his Gem half, and one thing kinda just leads to another, and well- said obsession ends with his component halves briefly split apart so they can fuckin' bang to work through whatever crunchy ass emotions they've got all stewed up in there. Progress wise, I am at this part of the fic right now, and I am having a lot of fun making this segment as "emotions and stimuli all mixed together" and intentionally confusing as I can. I am taking the depiction of "split POV" we had in Change Your Mind VERY seriously and literally, because I haven't seen too many writers dare to try.

Chapter three is mostly like, an interlude chapter- it's the aftermath of chapter two, where a confused and sheepish Steven opens up to his wife Connie about what he just experienced. In my head, my version of Steven is VERY demisexual, so he's like... just as "huh" as anyone else about what just took place. He and Connie talk shit out, and then Connie is basically like "baby. sweetheart. love of my life. why the HELL would you rip out your own gem like that, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, why would you ever do that when i'm not here to help you if things went wrong??" By the end of the convo though, Steven extends an open invitation for Connie to join in at some point and enjoy some intimacy as the three of them, both of his component halves and her.

Chapter four is entirely about that precise encounter, both the planning and the actual sex. The broad purpose I have in mind here is to showcase how such an encounter is something that's innately healing for them as a couple, in the way they get to re-contextualize this scenario in tones of love and trust and willful choice... as opposed to the horrid experience of being ripped apart by another's hand. I also just want them to get WEIRD about it, because like. Come on. Steven's half-alien. He (and the organic and Gem who combine to MAKE him) deserves to be weird about himself and the way he interacts with his own sexuality. And you just KNOW Connie would be into that. There is a lot of genital shapeshifting here, and they have a fucking great time.

I have overtly had the extremely general sketch of this idea floating around in my head since 2019, but never had the guts to actually tackle it until now. Now, though... I've actually gotten some practice with writing smut and feel confident in my ability to swing these scenes in the way I envision them, AND I finally have a circle of people who are down to talk about Steven being really goddamn weird about himself lmafo. Like, it's 2024, I'm allowed to ship selfcest if I want, fuck you.

But yes, chapter 1 is already done at 5.3K words, and I've got a solid 7.4K on chapter 2 (and rising.) For my actual WIP share, here is a snippit I recently wrote for chapter 4, working ahead a bit-

“So this is your idea of a big finale, huh?” he says with an impish smirk as he reads the last item on the list, a healthy dose of humor lightening his words. “Both of them fucking like rabid animals in heat as you merely lounge on the bed and watch?” “Oh, shut up,” she bites back, unable to even look her dear husband in the eye as she clunks her head down on the kitchen table, her cheeks burning like she’s destined to crumble to cinders amidst her own personal inferno of runaway lust. But Steven, damn that ridiculous man, won’t let her live this down. Ugh. Of course he wouldn’t. “Now, tell me… how long have you been secretly dreaming of this scenario?” She groans, mumbling her shameful little response straight into the table mat. “Only like… every other night since I saw you fall apart…” His rumbly chuckle— brimming with unquestioned warmth and just a tinge of bashfulness at the sheer risqué inanity of this never-before-spoken revelation— rings loud and clear, coating the whole room in its dense, chocolatey tenor. “What?” Connie whines as she snaps upright, her hands fidgeting on the table in the throes of such excruciating embarrassment. “What exactly’s so funny about that? I’m being very brave and vulnerable about this, you know!” He raises a placating hand, pushing himself through the final notes of his laughter before moving to respond. “Sorry, sorry, I promise I’m not making fun, it’s just— I guess you never really struck me as the, uh… the voyeuristic type?” “Does that… bother you?” she frowns, tilting her head a little. “The idea of me just… watching? I— it’s only a suggestion, we can always take it off, if you—” “No, I’m okay with it. Depending on how we set things up, I think it could be pretty hot. In fact…” Steven grabs for a pencil, and— waggling his eyebrows at her— begins to write one last line on their collective beat sheet. “I actually have a little idea of my own that I think would be fun to try out during this…”

[emeryhall]

Ten Questions for Writers

Thank you @artsyunderstudy @messofthejess and @roomwithanopenfire for the tags!

How many works do you have on AO3? 12

What’s your total AO3 word count? 393,555 (and I only started writing in March 2023!)

What fandoms do you write for? Carry On and Harry Potter (specifically wolfstar)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Hell fucking yes. Comments are my bread and butter. I love hearing people's thoughts on chapters; sometimes they even influence choices I make in the story (see @thewholelemon's Bleak House/spontaneous combustion suggestion in ALBD). I feel like if readers are taking the time to leave comments, I need to take the time to respond. That's what builds community, and community may be the most important aspect of fandom.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? no

Have you ever co-written a fic before? YES! I see most people are answering "no" to this question and I want to encourage y'all to try it! @hihimissamericanbi and I co-wrote our little Drarry baby PWP, show me how you like it. Apart from the fact that kudos-wise it is the most popular thing I've written and my only fic to have over 10K hits, it was really fun to write together, and I think Celine and I got to know each other better in the process. We beta-ed each other's sections, and I know she improved mine. So yeah, the next time your mutual posts "I think I might write some Drarry smut," you should always respond with, "I've got this idea that involves a Pensieve."

What’s your all-time favourite ship? snowbaz or wolfstar (sorry! don't make me Sophie's Choice this)

What are your writing strengths? comedy, smut (or as I like to see it, not smut for smut's sake, but smut as a driving factor in the plot and emotional development of the characters), dialogue, action sequences, plot development, descriptive language, unique and sometimes bizarre concepts

What are your writing weaknesses? I would like to continue improving my plots. Honestly, I think I might step out of fandom for a moment and write my own characters because I think it's so easy (and necessary) to shorthand characterization and character development in fanfic. I'd like to force myself to begin a character from the ground up, so I'm not relying on readers being already invested in them.

First fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter/wolfstar

Tagging: @bookish-bogwitch @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @hihimissamericanbi

@monbons @mooncello @shrekgogurt @orange-peony @larkral

[talk-danmei-to-me]

Gu Mang and He Yu for the meme?

Why must all my answers be so long 😵‍💫

Anyways…

He Yu

First impression: This man is an absolute clown and I love him!

Impression now: This man is the saddest clown and I need him to be happy.

Favourite moment: He’s a Meatbun boy so I have loads… I’m going to go with when he shared the bed with Xie Qingcheng in the police station and hyped himself up so much he bought a wedding dress online.

Idea for a story: Bizarrely, my unlocked writer’s block hasn’t come up with much for He Yu. Just a smut fic where He Yu drugs Chen Man then uses his blood toxin on Xie Qingcheng because I wanted to make it all even more toxic.

Unpopular opinion: This fandom is too small to even know what the popular opinions are! He Yu > Xie Qingcheng.

Favourite relationship: He Yu’s hatred for Chen Man SENDS ME!

Favourite headcanon: I dunno if it’s a headcanon or more of a theory, but I honestly think if He Yu’s mum hadn’t threatened that he’d become a foster wife, he would not be so obsessed with being the most homophobic man in the room. And would probably have got with Chen Man at some point in his youth. Since y’know they moved in similar circles back in the day.

Gu Mang

First impression: Self-serving BAMF. (I really love the plot twist in vol 4. I was not expecting it at all)

Impression now: Absolute angel that deserves the world.

Favourite moment: When he called Mo Xi Princess for the first time after they reunited.

Idea for a story: I was listening to Fairytale of New York the other day and now I really want to do a one shot set in my Ximang University AU where Mo Xi sneaks Gu Mang off to New York for Christmas and they do loads of cute shit like go ice skating and bang in a nightclub toilet.

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think I have one… unless Gu Mang/Murong Lian is a popular crack ships, in which case I think Mo Xi/Murong Lian is superior.

Favourite relationship: Mo Xi obvs. Although I do love when he was being taught how to person by Li Wei. That man has and continues to suffer.

Favourite headcanon: Jiang Yexue gave him the brocade pouch because he is shady as hell and I am convinced all the bad things that have ever happened to Mo Xi are all his fault. Oh also I’m convinced the assassin at the end of vol 5 is Murong Mengze.

[moonyasnow]

~Info stuff~

Hello! My name is Moonyasnow; call me Moony for short!

My fandoms:

TWST/Twisted Wonderland [ main! ]

Fire Emblem (Fates/Awakening/Three Houses)

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (anime only)

I have an NSFW side blog here!

{ Image template Here! }

Non-OC Masterlist!

OC Masterlist! (please ask about them I am on the floor begging OTL)

~ T A G S ~ #moony reblog #moony's writing #moony's art #saving for future writing use #moony yaps #moony's moots

#👁️👁️hngggg…dragon boy [ Moony Malleus-posting, reblog or not ] #whiny little goblin baby funny 'ism' man yandere pyromaniac choir boy my beloved [ Moony Rollo-posting, reblog or not ]

Some quick boundary stuff:

I feel uncomfortable about other romantic Malleus x OC ships, so if you have one, please make a tag for it so I can block said tag

…that's all I could think of bye 👋

W r i t i n g s t u f f !

I like writing! :) I wanna write more, but figuring out what to write is usually my Achilles' Heel— so that's why I'm taking writing requests! Only really writing for Twisted Wonderland, as well as my OCs!

State of writing request box: C L O S E D !

Please try to be specific with your requests (for headcanons, a specific type of Reader, for fics a specific scenario) because sadly, too much freedom makes it harder for me to get ideas ; ;

I can write either short fics or headcanons

VERY open to just straight up out-there requests. The more specific the better honestly! I welcome all the freaks here!

No NSFW (Suggestive/implied is ok tho!)

No breaking-up style prompts. But Angst is VERY welcome! I’m also very very open to writing prompts that include things like past abuse, mental illness stuff, and generally darker topics. Yandere stuff, too!

Lilia, Ortho, Grim, NRC staff, Gidel and any Family Characters will always be platonic

I won't currently write for: Epel, Lilia, Che'nya, Rollo, Fellow Honest, Gidel, Skully or any Book 7 characters — I just don't feel like I have a good enough understanding of them to write them yet.

I ALSO REFUSE TO WRITE ANYTHING FOR CROWLEY THAT IS NOT HIM SUFFERING BECAUSE I HATE HIM WITH A BURNING PASSION

A request is always allowed no matter the subject material! Just know I might not write some that make me uncomfortable. ADHD + school (+perfectionism) means requests could take a little while, so please be patient— it doesn't mean I've forgotten about it or am ignoring it; I'm just a slow writer, hehe…

I WILL LITERALLY DIGITAL KISS YOU IF YOU ASK ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF MY OCS THEY ARE MY BABIES AND I LOVE THEM TO DEATH. I WILL PRIORITIZE ANY OC ASKS BECAUSE THEY ARE MY BABIES AND I AM B I A S E D

[wispmotherr]

so a couple days back @signalterminated responded to my call for prompts with an idea about III or IV transforming into a monster/eldritch horror type situation and while a horror writer i am not, i had a loose concept/scene from a fic that i ultimately chose to not pursue that i doctored up a bit and turned into something that's meant to come off as 'IV descending into madness as he slowly realizes he's joined a magical cult and why are we wearing masks now? or something'. i don't think it's exactly what you were after, my friend, but it's what i came up with, for worse or worse. enjoy.

Vessel had never been very forthcoming about what might happen to them, if they devoted themselves to Sleep.

At first there had only been promises, vague and hopeful and so, so enticing. Promises of belonging and finding purpose and the insinuation of happiness and that had been enough for the three men to join him and forego any questions, enough even for them to drop the names their families had given them and pick up the numerical mantles the man who had only ever called himself Vessel gave them.

‘What’s a name, anyway?’ he’d asked as he told each man their number. ‘Besides an anchor to the things that haunt you?’

And they’d agreed. They’d agreed and accepted their new names and everything seemed fine because, for a while, it was. Because it didn’t take long for them to find those things Vessel had promised, that he said Sleep could give them.

Of course they all found them in different ways, in different degrees but they each of them had their belonging and purpose and happiness so it didn’t bother them that they were living these new lives in an ancient, crumbling manor hidden away in the woods, kept apart from the world at large. They had each other, they had Vessel and they wanted for nothing; their only work was carrying out and aiding in the bizarre but seemingly harmless rituals as their enigmatic prophet instructed. It seemed like there was no price to pay for these new lives, outside of their professed devotion to Sleep and their obedience to its high priest.

But one day, things changed.

It started with II, when he went missing for a week. 

It was as though he’d utterly vanished from the manor and the grounds and while IV and III searched for him, pleaded with Vessel to tell them where he’d gone, to call the authorities, to show a modicum of concern that their friend was gone without a fucking trace, the tall man simply told them that he was finding himself, and he’d be back soon. III had raged at the man, and in the moments where III threw insults and accusations at Vessel and the other man said nothing in response to any of the vile things hurled his way, IV couldn’t help but feel a sense of lurching dread seeping into his bones. Because as III grew more and more angry, he could hear the anger in his voice begin to fester into fear, and soon his words were loud and teetering on panicked and each slice of his words fell on an indifferent, stoic target and that’s what unnerved IV the most. That Vessel seemed so beyond concern with what III was saying or what might have happened to II; it felt like a complete 180 from the man who had shown so much compassion for them, who had brought them together in this place. 

But even with his deepening dread, something in III’s bladed words stirred something in IV; it was like a veil shifting in a delicate wind, and with each shift of the veil, slips of that wind reached IV, caressing his mind as if to shake him out of a dream and allowing him to think clearly for just a moment before a fog eagerly rolled back into his thoughts.

Had Vessel always worn that mask? What did he look like beneath it?

Why was Vessel’s skin painted so dark? It made him look like he was made up of the spaces between stars, endless and cold. How long had he been painting his own hands and forearms the same way? And III?

Why did it not feel like paint on his skin? Why did it stain him so thoroughly? Why did this change not frighten him?

When had he last heard his name? What was his name? What were III’s and II’s names, why couldn’t he remember them?

When did II get back, and why was he wearing that mask?

That last thought stuck hard and the shifting veil and the wind ceased to exist as IV barked out a sound of surprise, cutting off III’s vitriol. They rushed forward to their friend, taking him by the shoulders and chiding him for not telling them where he’d gone, for making them worry. II only gently, placidly patted III’s face with his hand, his eyes unfocused and dream-like behind his mask as he murmured that III would understand for himself soon.

And as if nothing had happened, II stepped past the two men and silently followed behind Vessel, leaving the others alone in the large, empty foyer of the manor. 

IV looked to III, dread still crawling in his veins and the taller man was staring at his hands, a distant and troubled  look on his face. When he looked up to meet IV’s gaze, his expression was stark and unreadable and he stared and stared at IV.

The next week, III went missing.

IV had torn through the grounds and the manor proper, calling for III. He never once saw II or Vessel and as his search grew longer and longer, tears stung IV’s eyes, born of frustration not aimed so much at the fact that he felt so profoundly alone in his search, in his corner for the other man, but at the creeping realization that he was trying desperately to hold onto the panic and worry and fear he knew he should be feeling, that he vaguely recalled feeling when II had gone missing. 

Now, though, he somehow couldn’t quite hold tightly enough onto those feelings and they slipped from him like sand through fingers, or a fish from a palm. Only when he rounded a corner and saw II standing outside the library was he able to fully hold onto those feelings and they crashed into him all at once - overwhelming and staggering, the sensation of it all rooting him in place but chasing reason from his mind. The shorter man was watching the closed doors, as if he’d just knocked and was waiting to be let in. In silence he turned to IV, preemptively holding a finger in front of his mask where his mouth should be.

At the same moment, something crashed loudly inside the library behind the closed double doors and IV was instantly back to himself and his worry flew to the front of his mind. Worried, worried, worried… for what? No, no, no… for who. He’d been looking for someone, he needed to find them… 

III.

IV pressed his weight against the thick oak door, opening it to reveal the expansive room and his mouth dropped at what he saw inside. 

The library was a disaster; shelves demolished or torn from the wall, books in shreds and scattered, the floor and walls streaked with dark, ink-like stains that shone in the faint light. Something moved near a far corner of the space and IV’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of it, blind panic taking control of him to freeze him in place.

Whatever the… thing before him was, it was long and serpentine, black scales iridescent in the waning light. Its massive, thick body was coiled up on itself, constantly moving and writhing as if in pain, as if staying still would somehow hurt it. Along its body he caught sight of claws on long, hawk-like legs, the tips of the obsidian-dark talons digging into the wood floor, clawing deep gouges into the planks. A rattling growl shuddered through the beast’s form and IV traced his gaze along its body, finally finding the head of the monster, swaying in the same perpetual motion of its body. Despite being curled into itself, the thing was easily twice IV’s height, if the other two long, talon-tipped legs were any hint. From where he stood, he could see that the front-most set grappled at the floor, splintering wood and paper beneath them. Above those limbs, a ruff of feathers circled its cylindrical body; draped on its shoulders as if it was wearing a mantle made of shards of an oil slick. Above that, on a short neck hidden by the feathers, rested a skull. It was some sort of animal, too big to be anything real and short snouted and full of blunted teeth, with large fangs towards the front of its mouth. A larger set sprouted from the top jaw while a smaller but no less fearsome set jutted up from the bottom. The jaw of the thing opened and closed as if to imitate speech, and the clatter of bone against bone echoed in the otherwise silent room. Eerily, its skull wasn’t the usual stark white; instead it was a dull stone-black, giving it the appearance of being carved of rock rather than being composed of anything organic. Its eye sockets were empty, but the dark within them seemed alive in a way that IV could not and did not want to consider. 

The beast had pressed itself into the corner of the library, its entire body heaving with every panting breath it took; the dark hollows where its eyes ought to be fixed towards the doorway where IV and II stood, its true focus far beyond it. The shorter man gently grabbed his elbow as if to pull him back, but IV, just as gently, pulled his arm from his touch. 

Even in the low light cast from candles that hadn’t fallen victim to the beast’s evident rampage, he could now tell that the dark stains he’d spotted upon first opening the door was blood smeared all over the floor, and his heart thudded in his chest. Where was III, and who did the blood belong to? 

A low growl from the monster dragged his attention back to it and he watched as it seemed to coil tighter onto itself, the sound emanating from it rattling and needling: like a winter wind through dead trees, like a pebble skittering against other rocks. The monster made the sound again, a little louder this time and there was an anger at the foundation of the sound, an anger that was teetering into fear. 

Despite the ice-cold panic the sound roused from him, despite the terror the thing before him invoked in him, IV stepped into the room. No response from the monster. He took a tentative step towards it, unable and yet also unwilling ot take his eyes from it. There had been something... familiar under that last rattling growl. Something pleading in the warning it seemed to carry.

“I can hear you,” he said quietly to the beast and it shifted again. IV paused, thinking it might have moved to put itself in position to strike at him, to end him where he stood but somewhere deep in his mind the veil shifted.

It was moving as if trying to get further away from him, as if it was afraid of him. 

It growled again, this time the sound edged with a sadness that IV knew he’d heard before. Flashes of the first nights they’d all spent in the manor, when they’d laid their souls bare for one another. IV would never forget the way III had sounded as he’d told his story, the despair that tinged every word, the sadness that had been at the core of him, then. IV frowned a little and took another few steps towards the monster, it’s scales flashing red and gold and orange in the faint, flickering light. “This is…”

“IV, don’t-” II’s voice was tight, and IV turned to look at him. For a moment, the two men locked eyes and there was a clarity in II’s gaze that IV thought might have been missing lately, but the sinking horror of that realization ebbed in him like sand in the wind. In a thought that moved through him as if it were trapped in mud, IV wondered what the other man knew and wasn’t telling him, what he hadn’t told III.

IV could feel something like rage flare in him but it was gone in the same moment, II blinking placidly at him. IV turned back to face the thing, its rattling growl filling the room again. IV let his gaze wander over the entirety of the beast, taking all of it in, letting the pressure of its existence rest against his senses as he tried to fully comprehend it. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from the monster’s blood-splattered jaw, from the way its entire body heaved irregularly; as if it were out of breath. A viscous, oily liquid welled over the edge of its eye sockets and IV couldn’t help but wonder if monsters could cry. 

IV’s thoughts began to fly, and he couldn’t find one to hold onto. He was struggling to understand what he was seeing, the connections his mind was beginning to make and how this creature could feasibly exist within the bounds of reality. This was impossible. Whatever hell they’d trapped themselves in, in this manor, whatever had happened to II when he’d been gone…this monster. All of it was impossible but here before him was finally something tangible: something that was breathing, writhing, crying and bleeding all over the library. He felt himself slip from his own mind for just a moment but a cold jolt dropped down his spine and dragged him back to reality. There was no way it could be true, but a sudden thought lodged itself in the front of his mind and he couldn’t shake it free. Was this…

“III?” The man said, voice barely a whisper. The beast’s breathing skipped a beat,  its unblinking, empty stare shifting to focus on him for the first time, as if finally willing to perceive him. IV held a hand out, as if to touch its stone-black face. When it didn’t pull away from him, finally didn’t move at all except for that crawling, eternal writhing of it’s body he pressed his palm to the side of its skull. It was large, so much larger than it should be and unexpectedly warm. For a long moment both of them stayed still, as if waiting for something to shift, for permission from something beyond them. And then, the monster spoke. 

“You found me,” it growled, the same rattling sound overlaying a distorted version of the voice belonging to the human it used to be. It came from within and without the beast, echoing in IV’s mind and he wondered if II could hear him as well. The sound was impossible and horrific and heartbreaking and when IV only nodded in response, the beast pressed his head into IV’s touch. The action was so much like III; it was something he’d done with IV dozens, hundreds of times before that IV couldn’t not see what - rather who - the monster before him was. 

“What…. what happened?” he murmured, stepping back to take all of him in again.

“The debt-“ A choked off sound of pain  that was neither human nor animal rumbled through III and he shook his head as if to clear it, then bowing it as if in atonement. A moment later he lifted his skull and a shiver pulsed through his body. The action unnerved IV and he took another step back. III spoke again.  

“I didn’t want you to see me like this, didn’t want anyone…” he rattled, the coiling length of his serpentine body still in subtle, perpetual movement. IV frowned, letting his hand move towards III’s body, towards a dark, shining patch of scales half hidden by the feathers. III flinched violently at his touch and IV quickly pulled his hand away, fingers coming away bloodied.

“Were you trying to…?”

“I don’t know how to change back. I thought…” III said plainly, voice trailing off. He sounded so much more human in that moment that it summoned a tightness in IV’s chest that stung him. He didn’t want to think the implication of the other man’s statement was the truth of it. IV could only tug III’s beast-skulled head closer to him, and without thinking he pressed a kiss to the point between the dark wells where his eyes should be. The skull was so warm… just like III had been warm. The pulse he could feel in that bone felt like the man’s heartbeat he’d spent so many nights listening to, its rhythm more familiar to IV than the cadence of his own breath. How could this… monster… be the man he’d come to love so dearly? How could this be real? How could this be happening? Again, IV fought to hold onto the terror he knew he should be feeling, desperate for that tenuous connection to reality.

“This is a dream, it’s a dream, III. We’ll wake up and we’ll get out of here, we can’t stay… I’ll fix this, I’ll find a way to help you and-“

“No need.” Vessel’s voice was smooth and somewhat bored as it interrupted IV’s increasingly hysterical words and the man turned, keeping himself between III and the masked man.

“What did you do to him?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit! Look at him!” IV stepped forward, ready to lay the taller man out. The wind and the veil were within him again and it felt like the veil had been ripped away from him entirely: rage and fear and desperation flooded him, coalescing into a panic that rendered him blind to anything but the figure in front of him, his void-black skin eating the light around them. It seemed as if a shadow loomed behind Vessel, tethered to him.

“I see nothing wrong with him.”

Vessel’s voice was like a pinprick of light in a pitch dark cave, and IV sprang for it, desperate for a lifeline out of his panic. He blinked and was back in himself; Vessel standing before him, II not far behind, gaze calm and fixed on a point behind IV’s back. IV turned and saw III behind him, just as he remembered him: whole and human and watching him with a placid, gentle gaze from behind a stone-black mask marked with gold. 

“Are you alright?” III asked, reaching for IV to trace along his jaw, his touch gentle and tender. Something in IV writhed and in the moment, he couldn’t tell if it was fear or if it was desire. Maybe they were the same. Maybe they were all the same, anymore. IV nodded and let III press his mask to his cheek in mimicry of a chaste kiss and that same co-mingling of desire and fear welled up in him. He wanted to ask what had happened, why they were all in the library, why Vessel was looking at him like that but the root of his questions was withering away faster than he could preserve it. Suddenly, none of it mattered. 

“You’ll understand, soon.” III said, dropping his hand from IV’s face and turning to follow II and Vessel from the room, leaving IV alone in the blood-stained, ransacked library. He felt words rise up in him, words that might calcify his unease into true horror of what he and the others had become trapped in, but when he opened his mouth to give them life, he couldn’t make his tongue move to free them from his mind. And for the briefest, sharpest moment, IV realized Sleep had finally named its price. 

[lady-phasma]

Phazzie could you please explain the appeal of Aemond? In great detail please and thanks

I can and I would be honored! I have been saving this one until I could really dig into it. Thanks for your patience, anon.

I'll start with the hair and get it out of the way. Targaryen hair. Now that's done we can move on to why Aemond is such an appealing character for so many in the HotD fandom.

Aemond doesn't have very much screen time and that makes him a bit mysterious. It also makes him fun for fic writers because there is so much blank space to fill in until the next season. You asked for "great detail" so I think the best place to start is with younger Aemond because that part of his character sets a solid foundation for aged-up Aemond who is the primary focus of the Aemond stans.

This kid is complex! Not going into controversies about bullying or whether his actions were justified, objectively Aemond was designed to be more than a one-dimensional character. Your question wasn't about why people hate him but I have to mention that his claiming of Vhagar is the point where fans seem to begin to disagree. However, that such a moment can be so divisive is evidence that it is crucial to his character development.

Back to his appeal. Until this decision is made Aemond is a kind of privileged underdog. He shows disappointment that he was not expected to fulfill any princely duties as his brother is. He is pushed aside as a second son. He isn't a true underdog because, well, he's a Targaryen prince but he has been given a hurdle that is perceived by other characters to be a major disadvantage: he does not have a dragon. For Targaryen royalty that's an embarrassment as well. We all know about the Pink Dread but it's deeper than that.

He makes a rash decision to claim Vhagar at the first opportunity. He's a kid, they act before they think. But he succeeds. Vhagar allows this princeling to ride her. I may not be a good judge of character but dragons are, they know if the rider has the mettle it takes to ride them.

So here's this kid, who lacks for nothing but a dragon, and he finally gets one... under the most inconsiderate circumstances possible. Yup, at Laena's funeral. Kids aren't smart or thoughtful as a rule. Regardless of the 'why's and placing blame, little dude ends up losing an eye by the hand of his nephew Lucerys. Now Westeros is no longer his oyster. A damaged prince, a "cripple" as Bran Stark puts it, and a second son who will have even less duty placed upon him. He's still not to be pitied and he is still privileged beyond imagining, but now his complexity becomes more interesting.

Let's jump ahead. What makes this bizarre, cocky, one-eyed price so likable? Especially when about half of aged-up Aemond's screen time is sass and being rude and literally shoving people. All of that, that's what.

Aemond's appeal is his lack of fucks. He has none to give. He lost them all with his eye. Yes, he loves his mother, honors his father, brother, and sister (don't come at me I'm sure he loves them too). He also worked hard to make sure that he could be arrogant. He didn't wake up a badass. He strove for it. He earned his cockiness. He doesn't give a shit about tourneys because tournaments are for pretty knights who wear armor and ask for favors. He needs no armor, he even discards his shield and still bests a man wielding a morning star. He antagonizes his nephews immediately because he is hyper-aware of his surroundings and planned his words carefully to instill the most insecurity in them as possible.

You might be asking 'how on earth is that appealing?' Well, because the average viewer has to give fucks, day in and day out. His air of superiority is something very few people can get away with without alienating everyone around them. This is why fiction is fun. He is superior and he knows it.

He has no plans to overthrow his brother for the crown but this man knows, and I mean knows, that he is better suited to be king. He knows he is better at everything. Is he right? That's irrelevant for most fans. This grandiosity is sexy. Not only in a sexual attraction kind of way. It's gravitas.

Yet all of that comes from this thin, graceful, precise young man with only one eye. Can you see the juxtaposition, the contradiction, that has been set up for this character? He is, by Westerosi standards, a broken thing. He inhabits a nebulous space, a space not yet concretized by the series, that requires nothing from him while also requiring everything from him.

On top of all of this is a fierce need to rectify what he sees as injustices. He is an ass when he makes his 'strong' pun, as princes can be. He isn't a lovely, compassionate person who rises above, takes the 'high road,' or 'turns the other cheek.' That is appealing as well because it's not how viewers get to navigate their own world. They have to bite their tongues and be the better person. Aemond doesn't have to at all.

To wrap up this monster answer, I want to skip to Storm's End and no, not the chomp, a bit before that. Viewers see Aemond as this rakish, cavalier, sexy Targaryen but I have my doubts that he is viewed that way in the narrative. Lord Borros's daughter isn't fanning herself and melting into a puddle at his feet. He might have Targaryen hair (you knew I couldn't mention it only once) but he is not at all "traditionally" handsome, not as he could have been perhaps, again by Westerosi standards, if he had not lost his eye.

Viewers see him as extremely sexy, again that gravitas as much as his appearance, but aren't frightened of him. The fourth wall protects the viewers from the frightening aspects of Aemond's personality, shields them. And that is the space from which all the appeal emerges. I think I've done pretty well so far to not say "I like this or that" about Aemond. I'm going to do it now. I find him appealing because he is unpredictable. I could very well be frightened of him. I'm not special. I only have a special viewpoint: from behind the fourth wall. His unpredictability makes him interesting (like claiming Vhagar at a funeral) and it makes him a bit dangerous. Of course I think he is beautiful, but that's not the je ne sais quoi of him. What Aemond does that few characters in HotD seem to be doing is making viewers genuinely curious. How that curiosity is expressed is as varied as the fans. Some hate him because he is enigmatic, others love him and project their needs onto him, some want him to be one-dimensional and perhaps evil, and nearly all of them wait with bated breath to find out what he will do next.

[aurora-313]

For the fic writer asks meme! :)

a character whose POV you’re currently exploring

a trope you’re really into right now

if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

2. A character whose PoV you're currently exploring:

Right at this very moment, that would be Rukia. I'm working on the next chapter of OMTSYA and she's subtly attempting to investigate if Kaien is in fact his own reincarnation, functioning as my vehicle to explain how his situation works and the taboo behind it. Of course, that means she's reckoning with the fact he hollowfied as a human in the previous chapter (bringing back uncomfortable Meta!Kaien memories), Ichigo's blasé reaction to it and generally WTF is up with these two.

Naturally Kisuke knows precisely the answers she's looking for. But he's also weaving his own elaborate cover story for why the boys are as powerful as they are. Can't exactly say "they're the shinigami-hollow-quincy hybrids I've known since birth, whom I'd hoped would slurp up all your power so I can transform them into weapons against Captain Aizen", can he?

Nor can Urahara confirm that he knows Kaien is his own reincarnation, or his studious efforts attempting to complete that reincarnation process to A) save his life, and B) bring another pawn back onto the board either.

12. A trope you're really into right now:

I think For Want of a Nail, Peggy Sue and Reincarnation are a given. But if I had to pick; Merger of Souls is a pretty big one I've always liked for some bizarre reason. Two - no three of my current major projects have involved this trope in some way. Either as resolution to a problem or a source of conflict.

18: If you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic:

This is a Black and Blue deleted scene. For context: after Ichigo's surprise Quincy reveal during the Visored training, Kaien seeks aid and answers from Ryuken, who he figures out is a Quincy by extrapolation.

"My respect for privacy goes out the window when that privacy endangers the lives of my family. I'll spare you the detailed diatribe but I've been training Ichigo Kurosaki recently. In the midst of our training, he manifested Blut Vene and a reishi construct I'd only ever seen in my clan's history books. Then promptly went berserk trying to kill us all." Shiba leans forward, hands clasped loosely in front of him. Ryuken observes Isshin’s nephew critically. "You're a Quincy and a human, I'm a Shinigami and a Hollow. We're natural enemies and you owe me nothing. That said, I would sincerely appreciate anything you'd be willing to share in spite of that." Ryuken considers him. Then after a long stretch of silence, lowers his pen and folds his hands. "What would you like to know?"

Thanks for the ask~! :D

[meta-squash]

@callivich came up with this idea of doing DVD commentary for fic on @shamelessdvdcommentary, which I think is brilliant because I love reading the thoughts and creative process of other fic writers, so I want to try!

The Needle And The Burning Body Summary: They're supposed to be running away together. Ian hates whatever fucking nurture-over-nature compass Fiona somehow instilled in him that means the one thing he's running back to is never the thing he wants to want. That Mickey's love makes him want to run away as fast as he can because this thing, this solid thing is so much. And he's already so much on his own. Mickey had two burning torches for hands but he knew what to do with them. Ian's head was on fire and all he knew was how to run and keep running. How to find a cliff and jump off. How to make Mickey chase after him, again and again. And in a cold cell in prison, Mickey catches him.

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) I wrote it in winter of 2018. I switched laptops around that time so I don't have the metadata for exactly when I made the doc/how long it took, but I remember bashing it out fairly quickly. I tend to get a flash of inspiration and then bang out fics in a couple of sittings. This one is a one-shot, 10,623 words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I wanted to explore Ian's POV, why he went all the way down to Mexico with Mickey and what made him turn around and go back. I had this idea that the way Ian grew up, so dependent on his family, put a compass inside him that always pointed back to them, even when he'd rather it point somewhere else. And that metaphor just took on a life of its own.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character? Ian is so WEIRD and hard to pin down and I wanted to try. Part of it is the Shameless writers' bad writing, but I think Ian also goes through such drastic and traumatic experiences that he has no control over, and it really messes with the way he acts. A lot of what happens to him has less to do with his choices or actions and more to do with either his mental illness or just circumstances. Plus he's actually the quietest of all the Gallaghers, which is kind of crazy. I wanted to try and explore why Ian is so often contradictory or weird. I also really wanted to explore his confusion and insecurities that he doesn't voice.

What was your favourite scene to write? The moment where Ian is sitting in the prison cell waiting for Mickey to get back and thinking about their past. I came up with imagery of Ian jumping off of a series of cliffs with Mickey chasing him to try and catch him at the bottom completely in the moment of writing, and it's one of my favorite things.

How did you come up with the title? I'm terrible with titles, I usually end up using song lyrics or a bizarre jumble of words, but this one is so straightforward. Ian gets the needle metaphor in this fic, and Mickey's metaphor is being a constant burning. So it fit.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? I have a line in there, "Ian was better at finding whole things that weren't his and clinging to them. Mickey could make wholes from the smallest of pieces." I think it's a way of looking at their relationship that really explains well why it was the way it was pre-season 9.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? The smut. I don't tend to write smut because I either find it unsexy when it's not done well or when things logically would be uncomfortable/physically impossible/unhealthy in a not-even-sexy-in-the-moment way. If I write smut I like it to be poetic and for it to mean something in terms of moving plot along. I tried to make it both sexy and poetic, and tried my best to infuse every action with emotion and also intent. A bit like the advice my drama teacher gave us in high school: a character should not move from point a to point b for no reason. If you want to go to a different spot, you have to have some sort of reason or motive or intent. In this case, it's more about sex than walking, but it fits. I think I did pretty good in this one, but I think the smut I wrote in my other fic Proof Of What You Want was better.

Favourite line in the story? Well, it's more of a paragraph: It had all felt so far away when he'd asked, foggy and dull, ready to push. You gonna want to be with me even if I don't? Everything far away. Watching everyone for betrayal the way Monica taught him. So Mickey's sigh had no written all over it, and that no meant reading all the other signs wrong. But when you think you've lost everything except an identity you never wanted to have in the first place, you're bound to misread things. Really, the sigh was the same Mickey always seemed to breathe into his mouth. The same way he'd mutter jesus fucking christ like he was so annoyed even though he wasn't, and then he'd hold on and jump after him.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? A lot of times I start a story in the middle and work outward, or start with whatever scenes popped into my brain first and work to connect them. I think this was one fic I actually wrote linearly from start to finish. I always intended the first half to be the ride to Mexico and the second half to be Ian and Mickey in prison together. But the metaphors and imagery I used really solidified as I was writing it. I had Ian's compass needle from the start, but Mickey as a pair of burning hands didn't come until later, and a lot of the other imagery just developed as I was writing. I didn't know I was going to have the two of them sit down and have an actual Talk about their relationship, and I'm glad I had Mickey basically saying like, 'I love you and I still want to be with you, but things are still fucked up and we gotta work on them.'

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this? This was my first time writing solely Ian's POV (as opposed to an omniscient POV or Mickey's), but it's not a specific trope or genre.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) The metaphors! I'm sooooo happy they worked the way I wanted them to and came together so well and I'm soooooo proud of the last paragraph of the fic, which literally gave me chills as I wrote it.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story? No, but I tend to do the opposite. I post the fic and then reread it once it's already posted and add to it. So I'm fairly certain there are at least a few sentences if not a whole paragraph in the fic on AO3 that doesn't exist in my original doc.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line? The one I quoted above as my favorite line came about because I always felt like Mickey's reaction to Ian's questions in the breakup scene aren't a rejection at all or even disappointment or whatever. It felt to me like that sigh and Mickey's body language were more in line with his actions in 5x09 with the b vitamins and stuff. Like he realizes that he'd rather have Ian in whatever way and he'll be there for him, whether he's on his meds or not. It's not a sigh of "no I don't want to be with you", it's a sigh of "I'd rather it was some other way, but I'm not going anywhere." And I wanted to have Ian realizing that, and realizing that he'd interpreted Mickey's actions in the context of his siblings' actions, but Mickey's motivations and feelings are totally different from the Gallagher siblings. He doesn't have the context of growing up with Monica and he's willing to stick beside Ian, manic or not.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add? I don't think so. I actually frequently read back stories in the months after posting them and add bits and bobs. There's a oneshot fic I have in a different fandom that I wrote in 2015 and have been adding to ever since as inspiration strikes. So I tend to just add things if I decide something should be added. This fic in particular came out pretty much complete, though.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story? I don't think so. Especially considering where canon went with the storyline of them in prison and their relationship in general.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? Not in this one. Mostly because it's the only fic I've written solely in Ian's POV. And all the easter eggs I use for Shameless fics are for Mickey's POV, so I couldn't easily slot them in here.

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity? This was my most popular story for a long time, and I'm not at all surprised. It's the one I'm probably the most proud of in terms of all the imagery and also the denouement.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? Oh, excited, definitely. All the other Shameless fics I'd written before this one were shorter and more straightforward, less poetic. This was the one that felt the most artistic and that I felt really inspired the whole time I was writing it.

(This was really fun, I might do this with my other Shameless fics! Thank you so much for the idea @callivich!)

[c-is-for-circinate]

I would love to hear more mike wheeler - Steve Harrington masculinity thoughts (also whatever happened to Hopper to make him action guy my beloathed)! Also will we get a mike chapter for and they were married?

Okay yes! I am fascinated by Mike and Steve as narrative contrasts, and I always find myself looking for fic where the two of them meaningfully interact, and I keep meaning to write about them.

(Also: Mike deserves his own chapter of that fic, but he's getting folded into Dustin's. What Mike really deserves is his own fic that takes place in that universe, because I know what his deal is there and it's a doozy, but that is a very different post.)

Anyway! For starters, I don't think that Steve and Mike are intentionally meant to be foils. There's an element of it in the first season, where Steve exists to support Nancy's character, and Nancy and Mike are meant to be foils -- Steve is the Popular Kid, the antithesis of Mike and his friends' little group of nerds, he and Tommy and Carol are written into the same category as Troy but older and less actively murderous, and the fact that Nancy's dating him says things about her -- but they end up occupying oddly similar spaces and cool parallels come out of that anyway.

A core thing about it is that Steve and Mike are both the guy in their respective age group casts on the show. The Guy. The central one, the normal one, the presumed-to-be-straight one -- and yes, this is fandom and we have Opinions about that, but the Duffer brothers think they're both straight, and that matters here. They're white, they're able-bodied, they have money. They are, in a sense, normal.

Narratively, they very often act as central/POV character for scenes they're in, at least once Steve gets past the fistfight in S1 and awakens to the fact that he's a person who can make decisions. And that makes sense, because being The Guy also means they're the closest to the classic TV protagonist archetype, the guy who does the hero shit and gets the girl in the end. Hopper is also The Guy, and always has been: in S1 it's just him and Joyce, but even as we add more adults, the only real challenge to his The Guy status is Bob (which is of course why Bob had to die). Murray is a bizarre conspiracy nut, and queer-coded besides that. Owens is an affable bad guy. Alexei and Dmitri and Yuri are all Russian.

Being The Guy comes with a certain amount of baggage. All three of them have to be romantic leads, and have to be crossed in love about it. All three of them are protectors in one way or another. And all three of them are on occasion assholes who have one hell of a time with sincerity and affection.

And this is where we get into Toxic Masculinity, because again, while I don't think the Duffers intended a pile of parallels between these three guys, well. Firstly, The Guy as an archetype is built on a pile of toxic masculine stereotypes, so that's often there to begin with. Secondly, it's the same writers, so certain themes rhyme whether they're intended to or not.

In particular, one of the core tenets of toxic masculinity, not just in ST but as a thing in the world, is when and where it's acceptable to experience soft emotions of affection, care, and vulnerability. The first rule of toxic masculinity is don't. The second rule, the caveat rule, is a little asterisk saying 'except, occasionally, with a female romantic partner, if you absolutely must.'

And so we actually see a lot of unfolding of this in Steve! One thing we know about Steve, without precisely being told, is that he's deeply lonely -- for a popular kid he sure seems to only have two Actual Friends when the show starts and they hardly seem to even like each other. He has a new Favorite Person every season, and he clings to them with the joy of a devoted golden retriever. His mental image of happily-ever-after is a house full of kids with enough siblings to never get lonely, family vacations about close quarters and spending time together. We never see his parents. For all a lot of the 'horrible abuse' fanon is very much fanon, Steve is inarguably a lonely kid. And where do we see him reaching out for affection?

It's not Tommy and Carol, although until they break up he's constantly in their company unless he's alone with Nancy. They hardly even seem to like each other very much, and yet they've stayed at his empty house enough for Tommy to know about his mother's fireplace and Steve to insist he do laundry while he's here. No, the person who Steve is allowed to feel things with and for is Nancy, because she's the caveat, she's the exception. This is why Steve is consistently focused on getting Nancy back, getting a new girlfriend, getting a date. That's the rule!!!

The really fabulous thing about Steve's arc across the first three seasons, and even into S4, is that this quest for romantic affection and vulnerability is both thwarted and rewarded again and again. He tries to apologize to Nancy, to win her back: by the time he sees her again, Nancy's got a new boyfriend, but Steve has a new brother. Dustin is Steve's favorite person by the start of S3; he gets Steve's haircare secrets, he gets Steve's loyalty, he gets Steve's joy. In S3, Steve tries to pour his whole heart into a different girlfriend, and Robin turns him down flat while also simultaneously opening herself up with such vulnerability that they instantly become best friends. Robin is S4's Favorite Person, but the great thing about these relationships being platonic is that Steve gets to have more than one! He gets to have both Dustin and Robin in his life! He gets the other kids as part of the package! Bit by bit, instead of a girlfriend who Steve is "allowed" to be soft with, Steve gains actual friends who he gets to be real with whether it's allowed or not.

And the really tragic thing about Mike Wheeler is that he's doing the opposite. Mike starts out with three friends, three best friends, absolutely devoted to one another. As kids, they're young enough to be free of most of the stranglehold of toxic masculinity yet, although of course it's starting. And then there's El.

Mike charts a really interesting course over four seasons, and the shape of it is not a straight trajectory from 'Mike adores and is BFF with Will' to 'Mike thinks only about El.' Hell, from what we see of S1, the Party are all best friends pretty equally before Will goes missing -- Lucas is the one ready to break into a government lab for him, not Mike. Mike's trajectory is far more 'I derive the bulk of my personal self-worth from protecting other people, and as soon as somebody needs to be saved I go fully into Paladin Mode, making me feel worthwhile and important." It just so happens that the two people in Mike's field of vision who most generally need protection and saving are Will and El. Which leads to Mike's intense Will-focused devotion in S2 (El is gone but Will is also in really significant need, and Mike just straight-up activates, jumping immediately into solicitously taking care of his friend because Something Needs Doing And I Can Do It). And Mike's intense El-focused devotion in S4, where El needs a literal quest to come and rescue her. And just a lot of Mike in general.

The problem with all of that is the part where, unlike Steve who keeps forging new platonic relationships, Mike keeps neglecting his more and more. The S3 Will fight is so good at illustrating that, because look -- we all know Will has a crush on Mike, but at no point during that fight does Will ask, even subtextually, for romantic attention. He's asking for platonic attention, which Mike is absolutely failing to give. "Where's Dustin right now? You don't know, and you don't even care." But as Mike says, they're not kids any more -- and this is how growing up is supposed to work!

(Note: I don't want to say that it's toxic for Mike to be in love with El, or really caught up in that relationship -- he's fourteen! she's his first girlfriend! he thought she was dead! But Mike's an asshole in S3 because he's caught up enough to not notice his friend's feelings until they explode at him, and yeah, I do think part of that is because he knows he's Not Supposed To.)

S4 is a lot, because here's where we're really seeing the culmination of a lot of what Mike's been unfortunately moving towards. We've hit a point where those vulnerable feelings that Mike's allowed to share, at most, with his girlfriend, feel like too much to even share with his girlfriend. He can't say 'I love you'. He can't even talk to Will. The conversation he does have with Will is honestly mostly about Mike and his feelings of inadequacy, of not measuring up, not being special, but it has to be couched in the context of El. If there's a reverse-Bechdel test to be done on S4, past the very first episode I'm pretty sure Mike fails it -- I don't think he has a single conversation that isn't about his girlfriend in one capacity or another.

In contrast, S4 Steve is, yes, pretty focused on girls-in-general and Nancy-in-specific, and yeah, there's a little bit of backsliding going on there. But he's also having conversations with Robin about her fears and longings, having weird little interludes where Eddie's the one bringing up Nancy rather than Steve himself. He's hurt at the end when Nancy is clearly still with Jonathan, but he's able to move on, to go fold clothes and care about Robin's love life instead of his own -- his optimistic happy ending in S4 is that his best friend is going to get the girl, not him.

I think there's a lot more to say, which I only brushed on briefly here, about other aspects of Mike and Steve that work in parallel or contrast -- their protector thing, which feels very intrinsic but shows up very differently in both of them, the way Steve says 'I love you' so easily and Mike has trouble saying it at all, the way they are both very much extremely normal guys, at least on paper. There's so much to say. I think that has to be a different post.

I will say, in terms of Hopper: Jim Hopper is what it looks like when those pent-up feelings that you aren't allowed to express to anybody other than a romantic partner sit and fester for decades. Fuck, there were things about Vietnam he didn't even tell his wife, that sat like poison both emotional and biological between them. When we meet him in S1, he's processing grief with drugs and drinking and processing fear with rage. He has spent so much of the past four seasons processing fear as rage.

Of course Joyce is the one person he's allowed to, sometimes, on occasion, be soft with. Of course nearly his every interaction with Mike is macho dominance posturing. Of course the entire trajectory of his relationship with El is a push-pull of Hopper retreating into authoritarianism and anger instead of the terror of honesty, and then getting to see the consequences of that when his daughter pulls away. Every season has broken him down a little more that way, but then the yo-yo pulls back (Season 3 whyyyyyyyyy). By Season 4, he's been beaten and starved and frozen and shattered enough that we get maybe the most honest monologue of his life, to a Russian prison guard, because they're about to die so what do the rules matter any more. It's a clear window into an endless pit of self-loathing, because for twenty or thirty years Hopper's been letting those feelings eat in instead of out, and bit by bit they've been devouring him.

El is hope, for him, and Joyce is hope, and the cracks that broke open in Kamchatka to maybe let in a little more air that might not seal right back up again are hope. But it's hard. It's hard! It makes him an absolute asshole, including and especially towards the people he wants most to protect. (And there's that protector thing again.)

Anyway, I am on the record as liking Steve a lot and having very little patience for Mike and Hopper, but like. They're not that different, at their core. They just put the pieces together in a different order.