#why am i making myself do more of these when i’ve already been tagged in so many.....

[thebeautifulfantastic]

somebody better come knock some sense into me because i’m down bad with a crush on a random girl from twitter who is completely unattainable

[wendysimp]

Secrets Out Pt.1 (Wendy x Seulgi)

Wendy (Step Sister) is back X Seulgi X Male Reader

Tags: Shower Sex, Risky Sex Blowjob, Double Blowjob, Spitting, Deepthroat, Daddy Kink, Threesome, Riding, Face Sitting and much more!

This is a NEW series which is continuing off from The Big Reveal. Hope you guys enjoy.

(Y/n’s POV)

Ugh school… WHY?! I just want to be glued to my bed all day.

“Honey? Wake up, time for school.” Really mom?

Just kill me honestly. After finally getting up from my comfortable bed I should be sleeping in, I grabbed myself a change of clothes before heading out to have a shower. There’s only one problem… My Sister is in the shower already.

Last weekend. One of the craziest things ever happened. What is it you ask? Well to keep it short and sweet, I not only fucked my big sister Wendy, but I also got to fuck her hot friends too.

I could remember every single second of it. Even after that Wendy and I would mess around. Speaking of Wendy… I look around to make sure the coast is clear. Good! I’m gonna get in and surprise her.

(Wendy’s POV)

Nothing more like starting off the morning with a nice warm shower. I love the feeling of the water dripping down my body… and feeling Y/n’s cock inside me- okay wait what?! Fuck!

That dumbass really got me needing him more. Oh who am I kidding, I’ve always been needing him. I even sucked his dick under the table while having dinner with our mom there as well. Luckily she didn’t catch us.

I’m getting wet. I-I… need him. I slide my hands down to my pussy, rubbing it just like how he does it to me.

“Mmm Y/n I need you’re touch.” I moan softly to myself.

“I see you can’t stop thinking about me sis.” My eyes widened.

I turn around, see Y/n and before I could scream he covers my mouth and pins me against the shower glass. I look up into his eyes.

“Shhh mom will hear you.” He whispers. Even the way he talks is making me more wet.

He finally removed his hands and I cover my body.

“What are you doing here dumbass?!” I asked him and he rolls his eyes.

“Come on, you’re really coving up even though I’ve seen you naked before when we fuck?” This tease.

I slap his arms and continued to wash up as I tried to ignore him. I felt him hold me from behind, feeling his hands roam around my body. Fuck Y/n you’re killing me. I bite my lip hard trying not to give him a reaction he wanted out of me.

“Come on, don’t you need my touch sis?” H-his hands! His rubbing my pussy.

“S-shut up and let’s hurry and finish up before mom suspects something.” I tell him but he doesn’t listen. No surprise there since he barely listens to me.

“Shhh she won’t.” I felt his lips on my neck. It turned me on so much I even let out a little moan. He smirks against my skin.

“You like that don’t you?”

“S-shut up you perv.” I tell him as he keeps going.

I felt his cock press against my ass. This fucker! You know what? Two can play that game!

(3rd Person View)

Wendy turns and Kisses Y/n deeply while stroking his cock slowly making him harder and turned on. They pull away as they look into each others eyes

“Hurry up and fuck me!” Wendy whispers.

And with that, no hesitation from Y/n as he turns her around again, bends her over as she was against the shower glass once again. He lines himself up along her pussy and slides into her.

Y/n let’s put a grunt while Wendy let’s put a moan as she feels him deep inside her. Y/n grabs her hips and start to thrust deep and hard as their bodies slap against each others.

“You fucking like that Wendy? You like when bro fucks you so good?” He slams into her harder causing her to roll her eyes back.

“Y-yesifuckingloveit!” She moans uncontrollably.

Y/n gives Wendy a light spank on her ass, leaving a mark which she didn’t mind at all as she was filled with lust.

“F-fuck you’re so deep inside of me!” She moans and looks over her shoulder at her brother.

(Y/n’s POV)

A knock can be heard and we both look at each other.

“Don’t stop.” She whispered to me which I nodded and keep fucking her tight pussy.

“Wendy, are you okay in there?” Mom asks her.

“Y-yeah mom I’m fine just- f-fuck!” She moans leaving mom confused. I chuckled.

“Calm down mom will catch us.” I whispered and tease her more while fucking her faster and deeper. She turns and slaps my hand.

“S-shut up dumbass!” She whispered to me.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Y-yes mom I’m okay. I-I feel s-so… s-so fucking good right now.”

“W-well okay. I’m off to work now, make sure your brother gets ready. I love you.” She says before leaving.

“Love you too!” She yells back.

Mom leaves and she pulls my cock out of her before turning to me and said…

“Take me to your bed and fuck me!”

(A little time skip)

We finish up and Wendy raises from between my legs, wiping her mouth.

“Thanks for giving me my breakfast baby boy.” She winks after swallowing my load I shot into her mouth.

She leaves my room, telling me to hurry up and get ready. What a great way to start the morning.

I put in my clothes get my bag and keys then wait for Wendy. She comes down a few minutes later and see her with a nice, beautiful dress which looked so sexy on her. The things I’d do to her right now with that dress on.

“You look beautiful Wendy.” I tell her causing her to blush and look away. I chuckled.

“T-Thanks dumbass. We also gotta pick up Seulgi on the way to school. She needs a ride.” She tells me which I didn’t mind at all.

We head over to Seulgi’s and she comes out with a nice blue dress that looked absolutely fucking great on her. Look at her curves!

She enters the car with a big smile and puts on her seat belt.

“Hi Y/n! Hey Wendy!” She greeted us warmly.

“Hey baby, you look really great today. Love that dress you got on.” I flirt. Wendy doesn’t seem to like it when I flirt with her friends.

Seulgi blushes and bites her lip.

“Okay not now! Let’s get to school before we arrive there late.” In a rush are we sis?

“Yes ma’am I’m on it.” I start to drive.

“You’re annoying you know that?” She rolled her eyes.

“So how was the sex on his bed this morning?” Seulgi asks with a teasing smirk which caused her to get a slap on the arm by Wendy.

“Y-you weren’t supposed to mention what I told you in front of him!” She scolds her.

“Oww okay okay!” Seulgi rubs her arm.

“Wendy relax. You okay Seulgi?” I asked her and she nodded.

“W-Wendy? Could I maybe have your brother again?” She asks.

“Eww what?! No!”

“Oh come on, you’ve got to have so many turns with him and plus, I’ve been missing the feeling of him inside me.” She looks over at me and I wink at her.

“I missed that feeling too.” I tell her.

“Okay first of all, I’m right here, and secondly, I’m not just gonna sit aside and watch you guys fuck! We got school to go too!” Wendy isn’t a fan of being late to school.

“Who said anything about watching when you can join us?”

“Yeah she’s right sis come on.” Why does Wendy have to be a party pooper?

“No! That’s final.” She looks out the window as silence fill the car.

(Meanwhile)

Slurping, choking, moaning and spitting. If you haven’t guessed it yet, Wendy changed her mind last second and here we are, in the backseat all together, naked as they share my cock.

“Mmm that’s it keep sucking just like that. You’re so good at this Seulgi.” I smile and praise her as she winked and bobbed her head all the way down my length.

My cock hits the back of her throat which felt like I was in a dream world. She chokes and pulls away to catch her breath then spits on my shaft. Meanwhile, Wendy was doing fucking amazing with my balls in her mouth. I could feel her tongue just run circles around each of them and felt the vibrations on my balls from her moans.

They both switch as Wendy takes me into her mouth and Seulgi taking my balls.

“Mmm you like that huh perv? You like the way your big sis sucks your big fat cock?” Wendy smirked as she continued to blow me.

“Shut up and just keep sucking.” I lean my head back in pleasure.

They keep going until they eventually pull away.

“Lay down daddy. I wanna show you how a good girl rides.” Seulgi really turns me on with the way she talks.

I listen and lay down as she straddles my lap and Wendy straddles my face with her pussy. Fuck what a time to be alive. Without wasting time. Seulgi slumps down on my cock, riding like there’s no tomorrow while Wendy sits her ass on my face. Moans fill out the car but Seulgi let’s out a scream.

“Ahhh fuck Y/n your cock is deep inside of me! I-it’s so big!” She yells in complete pleasure.

“S-Seulgi be q-quiet… p-people might hear- f-fuck right there! Fuck me with your tongue baby boy!” She let’s out a yell as well as she couldn’t help herself.

I grip Seulgi’s hips and squeeze onto Wendy’s ass. The car was shaking like crazy with the way they were both riding me. They both switch places as Wendy rides me as I get a taste Of Seulgi’s soaked pussy.

“F-fuck bro! Your dick is so good.”

“K-Kiss me Wendy.” They both pull each other into a heated make out, moaning into each other’s mouths.

Having Wendy and Seulgi is one of the best things in the world, but how could I forget Joy? Yeri? And Irene? Having all five is so much better but hey, I’m not complaining.

After a while of riding both my face and cock, I felt Seulgi release onto my face and Wendy onto my cock.

“Ahhh f-fuck yesss y/n!” The both moan before getting off of me.

They both look at me with a stare full of lust and smile.

“Daddy still needs to cum. How about we help your brother unload?” She looks at Wendy with a smirk.

“You read my mind. Don’t be afraid to let it all out baby boy.” She winks and they both get in between my legs just like before and lick up from the base to my tip slowly.

The both kiss my tip and stop as Wendy takes her phone out.

“Let’s make a video for our girls. You wouldn’t mind taking the video do you baby boy?” Wendy looks up at me.

“Not at all.” I say and smile as I take the phone and hit record.

They kiss my tip again.

“Hey girls. You’re missing out. Too bad you guys can’t be here.” They both tease the other girls and down my cock into their mouths.

They both take turns slurping my cock and occasionally spit on it before making out with my cock in the middle. I was going completely crazy. Watching them pass my cock around to each other like it was delicious food.

“Give us your cum baby boy.” Wendy strokes me.

“Give it all to us daddy. Give us your big yummy load. Shoot it down our throats.”

Their dirty talk is fucking amazing I can feel myself getting closer… and closer… and-.

“I-I’m gonna cum. Open up!” I tell them and they listen and do what I said.

They open their mouths and smile as they both wait patiently for my load. They both stroke me which took me into another dimension.

I watch as my load shoots out and down their throats but some hitting their beautiful faces. They smile and giggle as they start to play with my cum and share it. These girls are crazy. They make out before swallowing my cum and show the camera that there was none left but a mess still on their faces.

“See you guys soon.” They both blow a kiss and wink before I end the video. Wendy takes her phone and sends it to Joy, Irene and Yeri.

Seulgi cleans her face and lick the remaining cum off her fingers. Wendy does the same and looks up at me.

“You made a mess dumbass. Lucky you, I don’t mind cleaning it off.” She smirked.

They both get up and sit on each of my legs and lean in for a three way kiss. We made out for what felt like ages before we pull away to catch our breaths.

“Let’s get to class now.” Seulgi says and we nodded as we all get our clothes back on and head into the school.

We head to our classes which of course, we all received a detention. Was it worth it? Fuck yeah it was. I’m also glad we didn’t get caught. Word does go around pretty quick.

(Unknown POV)

What the fuck?! I just witnessed Y/n fucking Seulgi… and his step sister in his car?! I heard screams in the parking lot and decided to check it out, that’s when I saw the scene happen in front of my eyes.

I recorded most of it. I can’t wait to show the girls… though, looking through the video, Y/n’s dick is making me… wet. Fuck I wonder how he feels inside- okay enough! I got to get out of here and change my panties.

To be continued!

I’m so so sorry I took so long to put something out. Personal reasons that prevented me to do so. But I’m back and hope I can be consistent like how I was before. I hope you guys enjoyed and sorry if it was a little shorter than expected but I wanted to get rid of the cobwebs when it comes to writing. Again I hope you enjoyed and… this is only the beginning.😉

(If there’s any errors please let me know and I’ll fix it. Thank you!)

[kithtaehyung]

seven days (m) (teaser) | jjk

POSTED HERE JULY 22ND, 2023!!  upcoming series: seven days (m)  pairing: fuckboy!jungkook x reader(f) genre/rating: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; roommates to lovers au  summary: you dump yet another guy that wasn’t up to your “ten day standards,” which leaves your cocky ass, very off-limits roommate to tease your single status yet again. but the teasing is always expected. what’s not expected, is the bet that you make without thinking. the bet that even though you give ten days, he wouldn’t even last seven. warnings: cursing, alcohol/vape mentions, parties, he wears glasses sometimes😔👍, chains bc it’s tradition atp lmaooo, cocky!jk, feelings🤕, big big big jk, flirty!jk, baddie!reader😌, multiple explicit scenes🫠, jk constantly in grey sweatpants and nothing else :))), full lists to be revealed each chapter! notes: …so this song called seven dropped and— notes 2: but really there was a fic that had been in the wips for a minute, and i just so happened to have a burst of energy to expand on it so here we are! making it a series to allow myself time to dedicate meaningful energy to each scene and not rush them💕 est. chapters: prologue | mon | tue | wed | thurs | fri | sat | sun | seven days est. running dates: july-september 2023 taglist: sign up here (i check every entry so read the rules!) teaser: below the cut if you want a taste 🩵

—

—

“Sure did,” Jungkook puffs before stepping away, taking all the tight space with him and letting you breathe again. “But all I’m saying is, you gotta lower your standards or—” 

“No.”

“Or,” he continues, giving you a look, “Not complain if they’re too high.” 

“Well, thank you.” With your nose grazing the sky, you point out, “I’d like to think they’re just right.” 

“What even are they anyway? All you’ve said is something about ten days.”

“That’s basically it,” you murmur, resting your arms on the island as to not have your chest in full view. “If I still like someone after ten days, I know I’d be fine dating them for real.” 

There’s silence when you finish. When you finally look, the gawk you’re getting in return almost makes you laugh. “What?”

“You mean those days are only a trial run?” 

You do break into laughter this time, burying your face in slight shyness. “And what about it!” 

“Are you serious—?” Jungkook rounds the island so that he can speak directly at your hidden features. “Has anyone even gotten past all ten with you?”

You pause, breath fanning the granite top beneath you and wisping around your face. When you lift your gaze above your arms, you keep it trained on the countertop instead of his curiosity, 

“No.” 

He doesn’t say a word. 

“Not since my standards changed.” 

And you think that’s the end of this conversation. Because what else is there to say? You know your expectations are impossible but you think this is a hell of a lot better than—

“I could do it.” 

“What.” A glare is shot. “Absolutely not.” 

“Why not?”

“You? No.” You shake your head. “You wouldn’t even last seven.” 

“Try me,” he challenges, and you still can’t take him seriously despite the fire in his eyes. “I’ve lasted a lot more than that as your roommate, right?” 

“But that’s—this is—this is different! Be for real, Kook.” You vacate the island and head to your room, having enough of his teasing for one morning. 

But you get stopped at the doorway, a bare chest and chains blocking your vision and sending your mind into a frenzy. When you flick your gaze to his face, he simply says, with the straightest expression,

“I am.”

--

--

--

tbc. :))

🦋 soooo how do we feel !! | wanna be tagged? 🩵

a/n: yeah idk what happened to me. one moment i was saying i wasn't gonna get bitten by the seven bug, and the next.. well. this happened lol. anyway! taglist is on a form so that i can easily keep track of who to tag. pls make sure to either tell me ur age in the survey or to have it on your blog bc i check all entries when tagging. prologue is already written and will be up soon! ++ ⇥ masterlist

[countrymusiclover]

8 - Life Used to be Simple

Part 9

A Wolf Among Dragons

Tag list ( just ask to be added ) @tallrock35 @kmc1989 @starkleila @noirrose21-blog @lover-of-books-and-tea @immyowndefender @iamavailablesstuff @plaguecourier

My boots clicked against the heavy marble stone as I walked alongside the young dragon prince Aemond. Normally I felt some comfort around the young man but now it felt differently. I felt like someone was pushing down on my stomach making it hard to breathe now when I’m around him.

“My lady, we've been strolling for nearly an hour and you’ve not spoken a word. Must I assume you don’t wish to stroll with me.” He broke the uncomfortable silence that could be felt between us.

Tucking some hair behind my ear I kept my gaze trained forward as we kept moving. “I must confess I am rather tired, my prince.”

“We can stop and rest if you wish.” He commented back at me.

Shaking my head I wished he would understand that I wasn’t comfortable around him. Halting in my tracks I huffed, dropping my shoulders heavily. “I wish to retire to my chambers now.” I quickly spun on my heels in a hastened manner to leave yet he managed to snag my wrist in one of his hands keeping me from doing so.

“Lehna, wait.”

I attempt to yank my wrist from his grasp but he holds a slightly tight grip. “Aemond - I. Please let me go please.”

“You’re acting cold to me and I want to know why. Have I done something to offend you?” His voice was filled with care I could tell. I just couldn’t bring myself to be honest with him like I had always been.

No matter how much I despised being in a marriage with Daemon I had no real way out of it. We were wed under the eyes of the Gods and nothing would change that.

Rolling my eyes I tried a second time to break free from the princes hold on me. “You’ve done nothing to upset me, my prince. I am really just needing to retire for the day. Now please let me go - urgh!”

“Stop lying to me, Lehna.” Aemond snapped back at me.

Throwing my freehand up in the air I was surprised he was able to notice. “How do you know I’m lying? You know nothing about me.”

“You’ve never lied to me before so I must assume that you’re lying when your voice gets a higher pitch to it.” He enfired with the slight raise of his eyebrows. He was much more clever at figuring things out then his older brother Aegon, which was very obvious in the short conversations I’d shared with the second born prince.

“You don’t deserve to know anything about me - it’s improper since I have already been wed off.” I sharply growled back with bared teeth.

Aemond gently kept a hold on my wrist speaking quietly with a shrug of his shoulders. “I do know some things. Not enough to build a life together but I suppose I must find a way inside your head if you won’t let me in on your own accord.”

“I’m done having this conversation with you.” I shoved him as much as I could, finally managing to free myself from his grasp. Sadly I only took two short steps forward before I felt arms wrapping around my waist and I was spun around before my nose brushed against his. “Ahh! A - Aemond.”

“Tell me you feel nothing for me and I will walk away.” He takes a step closer, nearly closing the entire gap between our bodies. He tilted my chin up with his freehand making me meet his gaze. He leans forward barely keeping his lips from mine.

“I only have feelings for my lord husband.” I gulped trying to come up with the right words to say to him.

Aemond narrowed his one good eye on me. “You’re lying. I know you don’t care for him.”

“I have no feelings for my husband so I must have feelings for you. Pfft that’s the most ridiculous defense I’ve ever heard.”

The young prince runs his thumb over the side of my face, a gentle manner compared to the rough side he usually showed everyone else around the court. “If you had no feelings for me you would’ve already come out and said it. You’re denying the question so I know you are lying.”

“You can spat off whatever you want, Aemond. It still doesn’t mean shit if it’s not true!”

“So you're saying you feel absolutely nothing when I do this.”

Knitting my brows together I didn’t understand what he meant by that until he pressed his lips passionately down onto mine. “Aemond, what are you meaning by-“

He tugged my flesh against his chest making me yank my wrist from his grasp, leaving my arms to have the ability to move freely. Resting my hands on his chest our eyes met when he rested his forehead against mine before harshly kissing me again. Leaning up on my toes I yanked the collar of his tunic bringing him forward deepening the kiss.

In an instant it was like a million flames were spreading through my entire body. An unknown fire or desire whatever you wish to call it. Certainly it was never something I had felt when I was forced to kiss Daemon.

Experience in the act may impress some ladies. But I’d rather chase this unchecked feeling.

Slowly wrapping my arms around his neck I broke the kiss reconnecting our lips in a fiery kiss. Aemond moaned into the kiss till we finally broke it needing to catch our breath unfortunately. “Lehna-“

“Don’t speak - just.” I leaned back on my toes, raising my hands up to hold his face in my hands. Scanning my eyes over the eye patch and scar on his lost eye. I wished things were easier then this, cause I knew I had to push him away. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I just can’t.”

Aemond called my name yet didn’t try to reach out and physically stop me this time. This time he simply watched me and my gown skirts disappear from his view once I rounded one of the large pillars entering the castle. “Lehna!”

Zooming through the castle hallways of the Red Keep and I didn’t stop till I reached Helaena’s bedchamber. Kicking opened the door with my foot the doors slammed against the wall and I shrieked, covering my eyes at the sight before me. “Laena - seven hells!”

“How dare you come in unannounced before the future king!” Aegon sharply took a step backwards from his position about to kiss his sister Helaena until I walked in and interrupted them.

I gulped nervously remembering this was common for the dragon family even if it wasn’t common for my direwolf family. “I’m sorry, my prince.”

“Tell your friend to knock next time, Helaena.” Aegon stomped past me slamming the door behind him after he had exited.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt - uh whatever that was.” I nervously spoke, finally meeting my friend’s gaze.

Helaena clasped her hands together crossing the room to be nearby. “He came in and told me our mother was planning on making us marry when the time comes after our father has passed. I am actually grateful you interrupted us. I didn’t wish to kiss him.”

“Maybe the Targaryen tradition will get broken for you.” I touched her shoulder gently and she sent me a smile before I told her the reason I had come inside her room so abruptly. “Laena, I have a favor to ask of you as my only friend.”

She takes my hands in her own. “What is it?”

“I need you to take me on your dragon somewhere out of King's Landing. I need to see someone I’ve heard rumors about throughout the castle.”

“Dreamfyre. Who must you need to see so desperately?” She asked me in a softly toned voice.

Blinking through some tears by mentioning his name I did my best to not think about Daemon at that moment. “I need to see the girl that was originally supposed to marry Daemon until my father sent in my name to your father. I need you to take me to see Rhea Royce.”

“I’ve never been out of the keep, Lehna.” Helaena nervously muttered showing me she was slightly worried.

Intertwining my hands with hers I sent her a half smile hoping she believed that I needed her help with this. I needed to talk with someone who got out of marrying the man I was wed to. “Helaena, please help me. I need to go talk with her and you’re the only person I trust to ask this favor of.”

Finally to my relief the princess nodded her head yes in agreement.

Hopefully she had some advice to give me.

I needed advice on whether or not I should ignore my feelings for the young prince or deny what I was feeling for the rest of my life.

[cheri-2047]

can you write a hurt/comfort Kaveh x reader where the reader feels insecure because they don't have any talents or passions and Kaveh reassures them that they deserve to be loved even without those, and if they want, he'd help them find something they like doing that makes them happy

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG !!! I had writers block 😔 anyways thanks for requesting :3 (idk how to title this do I just made it comfort)

Kaveh x Reader comfort

TAGS: mentions of alcohol, fluff

CHARACTERS: kaveh, mentions of alhaitham

BEFORE READING THIS:

I’m gonna make it so Kaveh and Alhaitham are still roommates, it’s just alhaitham allows you to stay over and stuff because you and alhaitham are friends too.

The scenario for this is you and kaveh were drinking and you accidentally say things you didn’t mean to say while drunk. (Alhaitham isn’t at home right now)

Lately you’ve been feeling down, but you didn’t want to tell it to kaveh because you felt like it would only make you a burden, that is until you accidentally let it all out one night.

“Cheers!”

Kaveh said, bringing his drink up to yours. You two haven’t seen each other in awhile, due to personal reasons such as him having multiple projects, but now that it’s over, you two decided to celebrate.

You two had been drinking for the past hour, your cheeks only getting more and more flushed per sip.

“Finally that project was over! That client kept wanting me to change things, it went from him saying it needed ‘minor changes’ to the point that he changed almost everything!”

Kaveh exclaimed, taking more sips from his cup.

“Anyways, how are you?”

He turns to you, noticing your flushed cheeks.

“Drunk already? Hmm… but it’s only been your third drink!”

He laughed, before noticing your sullen expression.

“Hey if you want to go to bed you can… I’ll wash the cups don’t worry”

When you didn’t stand up, kaveh placed a hand to your shoulder.

“Love?”

“Stop…stop calling me that”

He looked at you with a worried expression, gently cupping your cheek.

“What’s wrong?”

You buried your head in your arms, after taking a sip of the wine.

“You…I don’t deserve you… “

Kaveh frowned, setting his hand that was on your cheek to your shoulder.

“And what brought you to that conclusion?”

“Forget it”

You mumbled before taking more sips.

“No no please y/n, what’s wrong? Is it cause of my projects?”

The thing is, it was because of his projects, not because you weren’t spending time with him, but because you can’t help but feel like you’ll never be as talented as he is.

You hated how you made yourself feel bad about it, it’s not like kaveh said anything or anyone did. It was truly your own mind.

Kaveh noticed your silence, he felt guilty even though he didn’t do anything wrong.

“I’m sorry I’ll spend time with you more I swear! I promise y/n”

He said as I tilted your chin to look at him.

“That’s not it”

You mumbled.

“I’m not good like you… I don’t have any passions, I can’t do anything well, I don’t feel good about myself. I feel useless”

Why were you even telling him these? You don’t know. To your surprise, you kept talking.

“How could you possibly love someone as useless as I am? I can’t do anything at all!”

Kaveh set both your drinks aside.

“Please look at me”

He muttered, before hugging you tightly.

“I love you very much, I don’t think you’re useless at all. I think quite the opposite. I think you’re amazing, the way you’re so kind and caring…I love you.”

He rubbed your back comfortingly, looking at you with a frown.

“I think you’re more than enough love…”

He pulled you closer, burrying his face on the top of your head.

“And plus…there’s no rush, it’s okay, it’s everyone’s first time living…”

He cradled you in his arms

“If it makes you feel better, maybe I can help you? I know I’ve liked art since I was a kid, but I’ll do anything in my power to help you.”

He gave you a reassuring smile.

“I think you’re wonderful, I love you so much.”

To his surprise, when he looked down at you, you had already fallen asleep in his arms. Most likely due to you being drunk.

He presses a kiss to your head and carries you to his bedroom.

—

The next morning, he’s already prepared with stuff you two could try, and if you tell him that you feel bad for “wasting his time” he will always say no and that he loves you

Thank you for requesting! So sorry if this was mischaracterized or I wrote reader a bit weird 😞 I hope ure okay tho!! Just a reminder that everyone deserves to be loved <3

THIS WASNT PROOFREAD !!

[ryuichirou]

I apologize if it is too personal but how do you deal with "antishipper" and the way they make callout posts and harassment campaigns against you ? It’s legitimately so scary and it makes me hesitant of posting my own art

Anon! I am very sorry you are going through this horrible feeling of hesitation and anxiety; knowing that people get targeted like that could not only stop you from posting, but stop you from creating altogether, and this is the worst part about this whole thing.

It’s not too personal, and I don’t mind talking about it at all. I’ve talked about our position and our relationship with fandom policing a bunch of times already, so I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself.

I used to be worried about posting certain stuff too. Well, when I was a teen/in my early 20s I wasn’t worried about anything: we had so much juicy stuff posted here lol But then the nsfw ban happened, and the social climate of this app and internet in general started shifting, the first stories about people driven to end their lives because of the hate they received started to come out, and we stopped posting completely. It wasn’t a huge loss to us back then, and this situation wasn’t the only reason why we stopped, but still, it clearly became much more difficult to just appear out of nowhere, throw problematic stuff in your blog and run away again.

I vividly remember us wanting to post my Shingeki no Kyojin drawings and comics based on our AUs and stuff, but not knowing what to do with Ereri – there was no way for us to be “unproblematic” (which was never a concern to us, we just didn’t want to get tons of hate lol) and still post Eren with a man twice his age. So we started posting them without a tag, starting with a drawing that wasn’t too shippy, and then miraculously the world didn’t end. That made us bolder, and we started to post them openly, and posted them for almost two years pretty regularly, alongside some of our other problematic ships + problematic themes. Of course we did get hate, we got a lot of hate while we were posting SnK stuff from all kinds of people, but what we also got a lot of people who found our content refreshing and interesting, even if it was weird and uncomfortable at times.

We weren’t the only people who shipped Ereri (let’s ignore my petty thoughts about the difference between Ereri and Rivaere for now), and we weren’t the only people in Twst fandom who liked Shroudcest, which is another ship that we were super hesitant about posting or even mentioning at first. But with all the hate around I was so certain the world was going to end the moment we post them, and that didn’t happen. The end of the world never happens, but what does happen is that people either get introduced to a fun new dynamic and get invested, or get happy that someone finally posts for the ship they were too afraid to post for. Somehow, when you see some other person being ballsy, you don’t feel as scared anymore – it happened to us with other people’s posts too. Yes, I still say this even though it spawns a bunch of callout posts and harassment, as it did with us. Were we cancelled? Yeah, somewhat. There’s so much you can say about an acc that states “problematic stuff, 18+”, right? I was super relieved and happy, actually, that a lot of people left/blocked us just because they’re the people I’d never want to interact with my art.

I’ve been yapping for a long time already lol so I’ll give you some pieces of advice instead… These are things that legitimately help us.

Surround yourself with people who support you – if not you personally, then at least your ideas (i.e. other proshippers). Luckily, nowadays it’s easier to find them… But also, having a friend who you can vent about these things to helps a lot! It’s cheesy but it’s a fact: when you’re not alone, it’s not as scary.

Always ignore comments/asks from antis and block them on sight, block anonymous asks too. Even if you really want to sass them, it’s much more effective to ignore them: when you give them attention, it invites more engagement from them.

Block people you get bad vibes from. Block those who like or comment bad takes or support harassment of others, block all of their alt accounts. It’s tedious and takes time, but it really helps to keep you hidden from them, at least to some degree. I look up Shroudcest sometimes just to block new people. They try to make fun of me for that, but who cares if it works? You can’t block everyone, but these people usually flock together and it’s usually just a bunch of friends, so taking several posts on these topics from people from the fandom and blocking everyone involved will obliterate the majority of harassers.

In terms of your safety, having multiple accounts in case you main one gets mass-reported helps + I would advice to keep irl stuff away from your fandom stuff just in case.

This is going to sound stupid, but please keep in mind that this isn’t about you. These people are very miserable and not very smart. Even if they try to paint you like a bad person, they don’t know anything about you, so don’t let their judgment affect how you feel about yourself. This is exactly what they want – to have power over you.

Stay strong and take care of yourself, i.e. lock your acc and/or take a break if you feel overwhelmed. Don’t worry, it will pass: it’s very rare for these clowns to keep focus on one person for a long period of time; they have like 5 different dramas per day. There are some absolutely batshit crazy rapid assholes who won’t leave an artist alone for years, but those are super rare and special cases altogether, I don’t think you need to be worried about those.

Keep in mind which fandom you want to do this with, btw. It’s usually okay for the most part, but if the fandom is just a bunch of kids, it’s more likely not worth it or deserves an empty account, at least. Twst is surprisingly good despite anything it might look like! Thanks to Yana being a shotacon and a creator of Kuroshitsuji, I guess. There are many great and supportive people in the twst fandom, it’s been a pleasure to be here, even though, once again, it’s the first fandom where I got a bunch of callout posts and nasty stuff in my ask (SnK fandom usually harassed me for other things).

TL;DR: it is scary, and you could easily get callout posts about yourself, but guess what, you also get to be yourself. Because realistically, callout posts can’t stop you from creating art. They want you to believe that they have power over you, but this isn’t true. Your life online won’t end after some random callout post – mine didn’t. They also don’t understand that each consequent callout post affects the person being called out even less. We do have a minor panic attack for the first hour or so, and it does involve more extra blocking, but mostly it just sours our mood for the day and drops our morale. I still draw, though, out of spite a little lol Oh, and do try to report these types of posts if you get them, there’s nothing wrong with that.

People had been persecuted for their art and ideas for centuries, so what happens now is really nothing new. Without diving into specifics, there are way worse things they could do than writing callouts, but they aren’t super likely to do those. Luckily.

Take care of yourself, but also please don’t doubt yourself; when it comes to your art being way too fun for lovers of censorship to handle, you’re in a very good company. I’m referring to all the artist and writers of this world btw and not just me and Katsu lol but us as well!

[calliecwrites]

Shifter HRT, part 2 – The Appointment

I’m there. The appointment that determines everything. The first time I’ve knowingly met a shifter face-to-face – even if she is a notorious gatekeeper.

She’s been questioning me for a while already. But her latest question just makes me grimace. I don’t think she’s taking me seriously.

“I already have to put up with prejudice,” I say. “I’m trans.”

“This isn’t the same,” she says. “You think this is the same? Do you have any idea how humans treat us?”

“Yes,” I say, “and it is the same.”

Her cables twitch, like a cat’s tail when it’s agitated. She’s in robot form, all sharp edges and wires, and her voice is tinny. I’d heard she doesn’t like being humanoid, and this is as close as she’ll go, but did she have to make herself look so intimidating? Unless she’s doing it on purpose—

“I think you just want to solve your gender problems,” she declares. “I’ve seen it all before. There are human ways to do that. Get hormones. Get surgery.”

“I’m already doing all that,” I say. “This is more—”

She cuts me off. “You’d stay in human form most of the time anyway, wouldn’t you? – I know your type. Why waste our gifts on you? You’re just a desperate human trying to solve your human problems. You demean us by being here.”

“No!” I say. “I think about this all the time. I dream about it—”

“Not good enough.”

“It hurts so much, knowing there are people like this and I’m not—”

“Not good enough!”

“I need this – I’ve always needed this—”

“Not good enough! Not good enough! Not good enough!”

She’s risen up on her cables, filling the room. I back away. If she would just give me a chance to explain!

“Why would you want to be like us at all?” she roars. “Why would you give up your humanity? Why should I give you anything, you disgusting bag of meat?”

“Because it’s what I am!” I yell. “In here!” I point at my heart. “I’m not giving up anything! Fluidity – change – the ability to be anything— One fixed form isn’t enough. It could never be enough. You don’t know what it’s like, being stuck— You can give me what I need. What right do you have to say no? You want to know why? – there is no why! This is what I am!”

* * *

Silence. After a while, she nods.

“And so we get to the truth of it,” she says, all the anger gone. She smiles. I blink away tears. She sinks back down, and somehow all the lines of her body soften. “Maybe you aren’t so human after all. Not in any way that matters.”

She twines her cables together into a hand, and holds it out to me.

“We can work with that,” she says.

She’s saying yes?

I take her hand. But I’m still reeling. If it’s truth she wants: “You did this on purpose!” I accuse. “You were trying to make me angry. You didn’t have to say those horrible things.”

She only shrugs. “Would we have got to the core of it if I was being nice?”

Then, on a flash of intuition: “You’d already decided, hadn’t you? This was just one more test.”

“We know what to look for,” she admits. “You would never have got this far if we weren’t confident, based on what you’d already said. But we had to know how you would react under pressure. If you had backed down, what would that say?”

I shake my head. What if I’d been having a bad day, and hadn’t had the energy to argue?

But she just smiles again. “My colleague outside will give you your medication. Next time we meet, I hope, will be on better terms. Sister.”

I leave. I did it! But when I’m a shifter – and I get to say that now, I really get to say that! – I promise myself I won’t hoard what we have. I won’t be as callous as her.

First | Previous | Next

This is the part that inspired the entire story. I had a dream like this, once, where I had to defend my right to be a shifter from someone horrible. Yes, it was a trans allegory, yes, I was imagining having to defend myself from terfs – but I was surprised by just how strongly I felt what I was saying. I yelled that last 'this is what I am' so hard I woke myself up...

...and the rest of the story grew from there!

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added):

@aiden-nevada @avery-victoria-winterlight @leahnardo-da-veggie @mint-and-authoress @sandyca5tle

@scrubbinn @wuwojiti

[wooimbouttamakeanameformyself]

Okay listen hoes.

I’ve been surfing these anti Danneel, anti Jenneel, anti this and anti that tags for like… over a year. I’ve always been watching from the sidelines with my lil bag of popcorn, given an anon ask every now and again to other blogs, but never bothered to make a post about it. Because I didn’t think it was relevant, correction, I didn’t think Elta was relevant enough to make a venting post about — which is why I’m baffled as to why she even has stans — but also I just figured in the long run, none of our speculations, opinions or posts about this lady mean anything to anyone.

Actually, I may be incorrect there, as the AA’s may butcher me, or worse… Danneel may get Cliff to make another post… sheesh!

But anyway, seeing this latest Wales con, I got a real bad case of FOMO and decided I wanna bitch on tumblr as well (no hate to the bitches, I love scrolling through everyone bitching about the ‘perfect’ couple)

Here’s my take on everything, even tho no one asked:

Yes, it is painfully, horribly, excruciatingly obvious that those two don’t even like each other let alone love each other.

But I’ve seen some people and blogs talk about Danneel physically abuse Jensen, which I just don’t personally believe — each to their own opinion, though — but I just personally haven’t seen any evidence or receipts of that being true. Emotional abuse, yes, verbal abuse, definitely. But physical is something I ain’t gonna say I think is happening.

Danneel’s a bitch, as we all know, as the stans like to pretend isn’t true. But I really don’t think Jensen’s a saint or a victim — and I say he isn’t a victim only because in the end, looking over the financial consequences and the custody of the kids thing that would come with a divorce, she has little hold over him. He has the fame, the money, and what do you wanna bet that all of the Elta followers would do a 180 on their ‘Kween’ if Jensen ever spoke up about anything? And by no means am I suggesting that men can’t be victims before anyone jumps down my throat, I’m just saying that Jensen has the capability to fight back to her or leave her if he wanted to.

But he won’t, because — and I’m bracing myself for the hate I’ll get for this — he’s also kind of a narcissist and a liar!!! 😱😱😱 surprised I’m still writing and wasn’t just assassinated on the spot for saying that lols! Dare I say… he’s just as bad as Danneel in some aspects? That he has pretty privilege? Though not so much anymore since he and Danneel have clearly started doing couples Botox sessions. Wooof I’m really pushing my luck.

Trailed off a lil there, but what I was supposed to say is that he won’t because he’s embedded some kind of belief into his mind that his career will crash and burn if he doesn’t have his perfect ‘family man’ image. Even though let’s be honest about two things, your marriage is probably doing more harm than good to your image, and buddy, you’re a c-list actor who’s acting range is zero to none — I mean, he couldn’t stand playing anyone other than Dean Winchester that he tried, and failed, to make a spin off of Supernatural just so he got to play a brooding, macho hunter again. Though look how that turned out — your career isn’t some sacred artefact that can’t dare even be scratched, all he does these days is make money from cons, and a very occasional cameo playing as Dean in a different font. I’m worried the dude has Foreign Accent Syndrome but with Dean Winchester — as in he’s done it for that long that its irreversibly in his consciousness, to the point Danneel has to tell him to stop being Dean at home (sure she got a dig out of him mentioning that in the panel)

But I’m trying to focus talking about this con so far — even though I’ve trailed off multiple times already — first of all, ignoring the fact it’s insane that Danneel’s even at a Suoernatural con when her character (which was a nepotism role) wasn’t even in a full season, served no purpose, wasn’t even a likeable character — unless you like vapid, vain, and poorly portrayed characters — and added nothing to the storyline. And yet she gets treated like she’s a main cast member? Half of Dean’s flings who were in half an episode served more to the plot that Anael did in the whole five episodes she was on the show! And it pissed me off that Danneel’s getting the sort of treatment of main cast when Gen’s character was actually important to the plot, yet she wasn’t at the con. Not that I think Gen’s that bothered, which shows the difference between her and Danneel.

And apparently she auditioned for every single female role??? HUH?? Are we talking about the same Ms Gurl who made fun of Supernatural in the earlier seasons, claimed to not wanting to interfere as it was Jensen’s thing, demeaned and made fun of fans on twitter, criticised her own husband’s role and showed doubt of the series duration??? Make it make sense.

I’m kind of relieved Jensen hasn’t shared any of his made up domestic stories of them, to try and make it seem like they can even stand each other, although it would’ve been interesting to see him talk about it with Danneel there — just to see her reaction, cause I’m certain Jensen just makes up these stories as he goes along. But I guess my guy couldn’t even manage that, probably not after how much Elta knocked him down in front of everyone — she barely did anything else other than make jabs at him the whole time. Surprised my girl didn’t go blue from all the snarky remarks she was making.

Oh wait, it’s ‘sarcasm’, right? Silly me, I forgot that ‘that’s how they are with each other’ 😐😐😐 even AA’s have spoke up about her behaviour in this con — shows how much effort those two are bothering putting in to keep up the image. But hey, I’m proud that some of the delusional Jenneel shippers have developed a frontal lobe, probably because their self-insert isn’t doing what they want her to be doing!

Anyway that’s all from me, my thumbs hurt, can’t believe I wrote so much. Free will is a crazy thing. Excited to see what kind of hate I get from this ✌️😝

This ain’t grammar checked before anyone bullies me.

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

(Saw someone do this and decided it seemed fun~

link to my ao3 here)

How many works do you have on AO3?

85.

What's your total AO3 word count?

915,568 words~

 What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it’s for Helios Rising Heroes, Hypnosis Mic, Obey Me, Paradox Live, and Twisted Wonderland!

I’ve previously written for A3!, Ace Attorney, Ace of Diamond, Borderlands, Bungou Stray Dogs, Free!, Fire Emblem Three Houses, Fire Force, Gorillaz, Hero Academia, Kuroko no Basuke, Magi, Naruto, Red Dead Redemption, Run with the Wind, RWBY, Shokugeki no Souma, Stardew Valley, Tokyo Ghoul

Top five fics by kudos?

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes [Twisted Wonderland] – 6,298

We’d Be a Hit Together [Haikyuu!!] – 6,211

Super Powered Love [My Hero Academia] – 5,436

A Devil’s Bride [Obey Me!] – 3,583

I Need Love [Hypnosis Mic] – 1,928

Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I always read and appreciate comments made on my posts, on AO3 and Tumblr, I always check to see if someone has tagged it with commentary <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

To be fair I hurt Malleus with the whole ‘you’re likely someone with a shorter lifespan’ idea constantly, but The Brightest Star was definitely a sadder one from my KNB days.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them because I truly hate unhappy endings. You can probably tell just from how I write that I try to put a positive spin on things, but I am trying to just let the angst happen or leave things off with ambiguity rather than specifying that a character only seems to feel a certain way when they’re actually feeling something else entirely.

Do you get hate on fics?

Occasionally. I remember getting this angry message about me being a feminist because I made the reader like dom Hanamiya from KNB and they were MAAAAD about it lmao I also remember being on fanfic dot net and getting argued with and I just sent the brady bunch theme song over and over until they stopped messaging me back

Do you write smut?

I do! Not the biggest fan of it honestly because I never feel like it’s half as sexy as the things I read other people write, but I do get in moods and with certain characters they just need to be manhandled a lil, you know?

Craziest crossover?

I have never written a crossover in my LIFE

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Awhile back I did but I was told about it and the story was quickly taken down, I think it was on Wattpad or something like that.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! I’ve gotten a handful of requests for my more popular ones to get translated, I don’t mind at all!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I mean I’m co-writing a book with the other admin on this blog, so does that count?

All time favorite ship?

Me and all my lil husbands.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I was writing this Criminal Minds fanfic that I had all plotted out, dramatic quotes at the beginning of episodes already picked, but I don’t think I’ll ever bother focusing on it.

What are your writing strengths?

I would say characterization is my strength! The characters are the best parts of fanfics after all and I always try to do research on the characters I write; if they’re ones I don’t know as well I’ll scan the wiki and read extra stories with them in it just to get a better handle on them! It’s why when there’s characters that haven’t been around long enough or don’t have a lot of content translated for them that I don’t like writing for them because I need at least something to go off of, I don’t want to have to make up their personality myself

What are your writing weaknesses?

Details. Which is a horrible thing to say as a writer, but I do feel like my writing lacks details here and there. Like with dialogue, I’ve been trying to write more in-between actions while the characters are talking since most people aren’t just standing still, especially if a character was doing something before another person entered the room. Descriptions of the world around the characters

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don’t like using google translate but I do have characters I love who speak other languages. Those heinous Hetalia days where you’d randomly put a word into the middle of an otherwise english sentence… they haunt me. But what I try to do with Citron from A3 is write some of his dialogue in parentheses to show he’s speaking in a language that the reader might not understand, and I feel like that works a little better for someone who doesn’t speak anything but english to do for the sake of not butchering another language.

First fandom you wrote in?

I truly wish I knew. I know I wrote for Naruto back in the day, and The Outsiders was one of the first full length fics I did. But that was back on Quizilla which has since turned to dust. I was also on Lunaescence for a while, whose creators have also turned to dust apparently. What a world

Favourite fic you've written?

It’s hard to pic just one when most of my fics are like, stand-alone short little things. But I think one I’m very fond of (which was written for the other admin so it explains why I put so much effort into it) was Snowy Mountain Getaway, which was a FE3H Dimitri/Reader College AU fic.

[purrplegyuu]

Cold | Choi Beomgyu

Index

Chapter five

Warnings: beomgyu's not soft anymore, explicit content, not finished smut, reader crying while having sex.

Word count: 1.5k

Taglist: @arianap23e, @haatohwa

Hii! I've been really busy this week, that's why I uploaded the chapter one day after I should. So sorry.

However, you know I'm not a native speaker, so make sure you let me know about any mistake I make. Thank you so much for supporting me. If you want to be added to the tag list, make sure you let me know.

When I received a message from Beomgyu ten minutes ago asking me to go to his room as soon as possible, I was hoping nothing but to see him being soft again. I was at Jiwoo’s house when that happened. 

I told her I needed to go—even if she said she missed me at school on Monday, even if I was helping her with one of the maths topics she asked for because she knows I saw that topic last year, even if she asked me not to leave; I left, walking home with a weird excitement I only have when I want something good to happen but I deeply know something wrong will happen.

Beomgyu looks at me darkly when I finally get home. He’s silent one more time, but I don’t feel this softness from yesterday. I walk towards him, although I’m never the one getting close to him. “You took so long,” He hisses. “I’m sorry, I was at-” He interrupts me. “Take off your clothes” I look at him, suddenly trembling while my heart aches like a knife has just sunk into it. I hardly swallow as a knot appears in my throat. “I’ll be waiting in my room” He goes upstairs, leaving me all alone and making me feel guilty, like I’ve done something wrong. I go to my room first, taking my clothes off and letting them in my bed, turning around to see myself in the full body mirror of my room. Why do I feel so bad if I love him that much? Maybe because I don’t want him to fuck me once again—because I don’t want to know that I’m nothing but a whore. His whore. Then, why am I walking towards his room? Why don’t I run away as fast as I can? Do I even need to?... He’s never forced me to do anything… I have always been the one forcing myself. Because I love him. I wonder if this strength I have been trying to forge in order to show myself I have at least a bit of self-love has faded because of those short moments of softness I passed by his side. When I stand right in front of him, quiet and trembling… I understand that I’m under his power once again. He looks at me from his chair. His eyes move from my neck, my small breasts, my arms, my belly button, my thin legs, and my hips. I almost believe he loves me. That’s the moment he tells me to walk towards him. I don’t even mind closing the door as I already know our parents aren’t home and aren’t going to be home until it’s late and until we’re over. He looks at me, lifting his face since he is still sitting on his chair. His hands land on my hips, right before he pulls me a little bit closer just to leave a kiss on my lower abdomen. A chill runs down my back. He takes my hand with his right hand while the other one holds my hip, guiding me towards his lap. Each leg on each side of his body. He hugs my waist now, and I find support on the back of the chair. His lips meet my cheek. Then, he kisses my neck a few times, some more kisses on my clavicles and shoulder, and all I can think about is if he’s going to kiss me—because it is strangely what we do the least. His black skinny jeans meet my slit, making me moan highly because of the scratchy fabric against my sensitive skin and also because of the sudden contact. He looks down as his hands make me move above him, back and forward, not giving me time to get used to it. I feel my cunt drooling above him, wetting his jeans until there’s a dark patch on his jeans. He unbuttons his jeans, lowering along with his boxers just a little bit, until his dick’s standing against my tummy, rock hard and drooling pre-cum. He takes my hips, angling my body until his cock meets my slit. He moves my hips up and down, rubbing his cock against my slit—from my clitoris to my entrance, once and another time. On and on, until I’m breathless, a knot forming on my lower abdomen. But I still cannot hear him moaning, sighing, or even breathing. When I open my eyes, I find him looking at me. The tip of his pretty nose all red. I look up at the rest of his face—his shiny eyes and the top of his cheeks red like he had just cried or was about to before I came. And I don’t really know why but something inside me cannot do anything but blame his mother. Because, suddenly, she became the culprit of any bad thing that could ever happen to him.

Without even thinking about it, my hands pull away his hands, and then, they go to his face, caressing the soft skin of his pink cheeks. He looks at me confused, frowning at my unusual behavior.

“What’re you doing?” His voice sounds way softer than minutes before.

“Is it your mother?” I ask, but not actually waiting for a response. He looks at me surprised, and after a blink, I look at his eyes growing red and shiny. Then, I pass my hands over his shoulders, hugging his neck tightly, feeling him sighing. After some seconds of being this way, I can even say he’s crying.

However, I suddenly feel his hands taking mine tightly. I look at him confused—not even a tear on any part of his face. He forces me to stand up, doing the same himself, making me wonder if I crossed the line. He pushes me to the bed strongly, making me bounce because of the force he used. And when he positions himself right above me, everything I see in his face is hate.

Hate. The same hate I’ve ever seen on him. When he talked to me the first time we met at our parent’s wedding; every time we met each other at school; when our parents forced us to eat dinner together as a family;… when he entered my room at midnight and stole my virginity without even faking love.

The night right before that, I was sure that you couldn’t have sex for the first time without even kissing someone before. How dumb.

And every single time after that. The same hate, the same rage, the same resentment—just like I did something to him before.

But everything I do is loving him until I’m loving him more than myself.

I wonder once again if that’s what I want for my life—that unjustified hatred; the fear of what’s going to be his following action; his coldness; being always quiet, even if it hurts agonizingly when he pounds on my vagina the way he does, hitting my cervix once and again without even prepping me well.

Is that what I want for the rest of my life?...

Yes.

My tears roll easily all over my face, falling to his bed as his dick hits my cervix nonstop, but despite the great pleasure I feel, it doesn’t feel very good. I’m overwhelmed by a large amount of destructive thoughts I thought for a minute I would never have again because ‘Beomgyu is acting differently’. But he’s not anymore.

I close my eyes strongly, trying to deal with it, until I’m audibly sobbing beneath him. I try to cover my face with my arm, but he takes both of my hands, using his strength to force them above my head tightly.

I cried many times from pleasure, but right now… It just doesn't feel great.

“Stop,” I say. It’s always been hard for me to talk when I’m crying. But he doesn’t stop. “Stop!” I'm yelling. “Beomgyu, stop! Stop, I don’t want to anymore!” He lets my hands go as fast as he can and takes his dick out of me.

I cover my face with my hands trying to calm myself, until I find out I can’t because I need to cry everything away.

“Jeongseo” I hear his voice, and then, his hand touches my arm, making me jump from fear. I look at him, looking like he’s feeling guilty and scared at the same time. But what can I do? I already trusted him many times before, and every time I’m back on his bed, I understand once again that he will never change.

But that doesn’t really matter because after I ran away to my bedroom, I realize this is not the first time it happens. I’m trapped in this never-ending cycle, not actually wishing for it to break because everything I can think about is all the good moments, the nice feelings, him.

[kat-rose-griffith]

Hi. I love you blog ❤️

But I have an unpleasant question to ask. I hope it doesn’t bring your mood down and I hope that you may have some advice.

I love the Bridgerton community here and I genuinely enjoy the series analyses and the memes and love and praise for the actors. But you know how the situation with Luke has been recently.

I had to block #lukola and lukola content since the comments are mostly generated under this tag. I know that not everyone is using it romantically but I hoped that it will bring down the amount of posts that make me see red or genuinely depressed me. And I still have to block users just to remove their posts from my dash even though I thought that the filter may help.

I want to generate positivity instead of fighting but some posts are just THAT outrageous that I feel the need to dismantle them. By doing that I feel like I keep the hate train rolling simply by bringing the content of these posts into question in order to point out how harmful they are. I’ve also tried doing nothing and ignoring, but it feels like I’m letting the baseless cruelty slide and letting my principles and who I am at the core down.

I’m not sure what to do anymore and I’m thinking about stepping away from all social media for a while. But this thought also makes me sad because I used to love it here and I still (sometimes) do.

Do you have any advice? How do you deal with this? Maybe I have to filter something more? Do you see any way to contribute something good without fighting but also without hiding and running away from the tide?

If I’ve overstepped, I am sorry, and if you decide to remove the ask or not answer it I would absolutely understand. Thank you for listening in any case ❤️

Oh my gosh you’re so sweet. Thank you so much for enjoying my blog. That means so much to me and I truly appreciate it!

As far as advice goes I don’t know if I have a lot. I know it can get really hard to not let other peoples hatred and negativity bring you down. It can get really frustrating especially when the hate is as illogical and unwarranted as the harassment that the bridgerton actors, especially Luke, have been getting. It’s not guaranteed but hopefully the aggression will die down with some time as people move on with their lives. Just know that you’re not alone in these feelings.

I’m personally pretty susceptible to this kind of negativity too. That’s why tumblr is my only form of social media. The way that I try to work with those reactionary feelings is pretty similar to what you’re already doing. Whenever I see something that affects me like that I just block it and move on. Sometimes I do forget to do that and get wrapped up in scrolling through the hate or typing up a response, but then I have to stop myself and think if it’s really worth my time. I remind myself that these people want attention and they want the notes on their posts to feel validated in their opinions. It is hard but the best course of action is to try to just ignore them because they’re truly not worth the stress or energy.

With that I do want to say don’t be afraid to vent your feelings on your own blog. If you don’t feel comfortable putting it in the tag or associating it with your blog because you don’t want to deal with those people harassing you there that’s completely fine. You can always leave it untagged, type it up but leave it in your drafts, create a side blog just for that, or block them when they leave an upsetting comment. I’ve just found that it’s helpful to me to let out how I feel on here instead of holding it in and it’s especially helpful when I find people who actually get it and share my feelings. That’s actually one of my favorite things about tumblr.

Another thing that I try to do is just make my blog a nice place that I’m proud of, which is why you liking my blog has made me very happy. I try to share as many things that I like as I can. With the negativity in the tag surrounding Luke I’ve just been trying to counter it with any positive post that comes to my mind to drown out how negative and hateful some people have been. These people aren’t the majority, they’re just loud. That’s why whenever I’ve been making posts about this season I’ve been putting them in Luke and Nicola’s tags. If you have other social media accounts spamming the cast and their tags with love, complements, or just anything that’s not hateful to counter the hate spamming that they get is always a good idea too.

All that being said if it is all too much I always recommend just stepping away from social media for a second. It can be very overwhelming and hard to remember that it’s not real life, so if you ever feel like it’s effecting you too much just check in with yourself and walk away, for at least a bit.

I know that’s not great advice, but I’m going to post this in all of the tags that I use for bridgerton to see if anyone else has any advice that might be a bit more helpful. I’m very sorry that you’ve been experiencing this too and I hope that it gets better. Thank you so much for liking my blog, that really did make my day

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 21 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

I know I wrote this but I'm so mad at Don, but I did it so! Some fighting, some fluff, some ass hitting as per request of @next-autopsy, ahahah jk! Let me know what you think!

I also just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who reads my fic! I have now posted 21 chapters which is so much! Thank you for sticking with me, I know it's been long! I am so excited to keep going with this story. Probably the only thing I have stuck too and not given up half way, which my brain likes to do! I love you all, thank you for all your support and amazing comments, truly makes me so happy and I just want to keep sharing my work with you all! I really can't thank you all enough, how do I buy you all presents? ahahahah.

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, no hate to anyone involved.Keep reading

Tag list: @next-autopsy, @panzershrike-pretz, @xxluckystrike, @bucky32557038ww2 (let me know if you want to be tagged.)

The men wandered back into the room, I stopped Don as he walked in, grabbing him by his arm. 

“Can we talk?” I asked, he nodded, moving out of the room again. I walked down stairs finding somewhere more private to speak to him. I walked into one of the empty rooms, Don followed behind closing the door. 

“So are you going to explain what happened?” He asked, sitting on the edge of one of the bunks I sat opposite him on the other bed. 

“Why were you in a towel?” He asked before I could tell him anything. 

“Cobb stole my clothes while I was showering. So I marched through town in my towel to confront him.” I told him, his eyes widened as I told the story. 

“Emily! You can’t do that!” He scolded me. I rolled my eyes. I felt angry, he wasn’t there. That was selfish of me, but I was still mad. I handled the situation myself, and he wants to tell me what I can and can’t do. He hasn’t spoken to me in days, he walks away when I approach him, he dismisses me at every turn. Now he wants to pretend like he cares.   

“It’s already happened, so…” I say my tone clipped. There was a pause, I couldn’t help myself. “Have I done something to make you angry with me?” I asked. He furrowed his brows. 

“No.” He stated. I huffed. Not satisfied with the answer he had given. So he was avoiding me just because. 

“Well is something wrong, are you upset?” I tried to make sense of the distance he had placed between us. 

“No.” I bit my lip, I was an angry crier, hell I was an everything crier, but still I didn’t want him to see me upset like that. I didn’t want to break down and cry. I needed to hash this out, without him trying to comfort me, or leaving cause I was sad. 

“No, is that all you have to say? Don you haven’t spoken to me in days.” My voice wobbles, I take a breath trying to calm myself.    

“I’ve been busy.” I scoffed. “I have! I’m a leader now, these men depend on me.” His voice was harsh. 

“Yeah and you seem to make time for them. I’m in your team too.” I felt so selfish, but I was hurting, he was my person and he was just leaving me like I wasn’t his. Maybe I’m not his. 

“Why are you stepping back from me? I thought we were friends! I thought you said we were in this together! You promised me you would always be by my side! Has that changed?” I felt the tears brimming in my eyes. I thought back to after the incident in Noville, after I had washed up. Don said, no he promised me that we would look after each other. 

“I have a lot on my plate at the moment, I can’t be your babysitter! I can’t…” He trailed off looking at my face. Tears fell down my cheeks. That hurt, fuck that hurt. 

“That’s all it was? You felt obliged to look after me?” I couldn’t hide the pain, like a stab in the heart. So he didn’t care, really. He felt obligated to make sure I was ok, there were no feelings involved. It was an order, a duty he felt he needed to take. He opened his mouth, but the door to the room opened, a soldier asking for him. I wiped the tears from my face, turning away from the door. He stood and left. He left, he didn’t say anything, just left. I took a breath, sniffing, wiping away my tears. I felt sick. I scrubbed a hand over my face. 

I made my way back upstairs, the men lounging about. 

“Here she is the streaker.” Grant clapped me on the back. I gave a weak smile, but they didn’t seem to notice, too busy laughing at their joke. I grabbed my bag. 

“I have to go check on Lip!” I said, rushing out of the room. It was true, I should check on the very sick man, but it was a way to escape. I didn’t need them asking questions. I just needed to think by myself for a bit. I made my way to CP, it was quiet. I walked into the back room, sighing, pleased to see Lipton finally sleeping in his bed. I shut the door after ensuring he was breathing. I moved back into the main room, plopping down on the couch. I tried to get my emotions in check, but it was a lot, all I wanted was my mum. I just wanted a hug from someone. I sniffed, wiping the tears from my chin. Just a babysitter, I laughed in pain. I hastily dried my tears when footsteps approached the room. I glanced over to see Ron walk in. 

“Emily? What are you doing here?” He asked, walking further into the room. 

“I just came to check on Lip, he’s sleeping.” My voice betrayed me, wobbling slightly as I spoke.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Ron moved quickly over to me, kneeling in front of where I sat. 

“Nothing.” I shook my head. More tears falling down my face. His brows pinched as he looked at me.     

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, moving to sit next to me. I shook my head. “Do you want anything?” 

“Can I have a hug?” I whispered. Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around me. Pulling me into his chest, I clung onto his arm that held my front, he gently stroked my hair. My mum used to hug me the same way. The thought made me cry harder. 

“Shh.” He cooed, rocking us slightly, his chin resting on the top of my head. I felt like a child again, after falling over, being comforted by your parent. I felt so small in his arms, I felt so vulnerable, I didn’t have to say anything but he could see it all. He didn’t comment but he knew. 

We stayed like that for a moment, but I knew he was busy. I pulled away, his arms falling from around me. I wiped my tears, giving him a small smile. 

“Thanks.” I said weakly. He nodded, smoothing down my hair with his hand. 

“I have to go. Emily, remember you can come to me.” He said standing, I nodded, watching him leave the room again.  

—------------

I made my way back to the house, dragging my feet. I didn’t want to see Don. Before I left I looked in one of the broken mirrors, my face was pink and blotchy, my eyes all red and bloodshot. If anyone looked at me longer than a second they would be able to tell I had been crying. I mean when am I not crying, it’s been my permanent state since I arrived here. 

Lieb passed me on the street, “Hey we were going to see George, see if we could steal some goods, you wanna come?” He asked, but before I could answer he was already dragging me down the road. 

Lieb and I walked into the ration room where George was working hard. Before we had entered we’d heard Martin and Cobb pestering poor Luz for candy. 

Lieb waltzed right in, “Woah, Hershey bars!” Reaching over the counter to grab at the candy. George looked pissed, swatting his hand away. 

“Jesus Chirst.” He muttered, Cobb swung around telling Lieb to wait his turn. 

“Who are they for?” Lieb asked, pointing at all of the boxes filled with goodies. I stood behind the men just watching. I smiled at George, he gave me a wink back. 

“Not you Lieb!” George growled at the men. 

“Oh, come on George, one bar!” Lieb whined like a child, holding out his hand. 

“George!” I said sweetly, making my way towards him. I stood beside him wrapping my arm around his shoulders, his arm snaked around my waist. “You look so handsome today.” I smiled, putting on my charm. “So strong.” I said, patting his chest. He grinned at me rolling his eyes. “I love what you have done with your hair.” I fluttered my lashes, running my fingers through his hair.  

“Here, have a chocolate bar, you flirt.” He said leaning forward to grab me one from the box. 

“Ah, for me?” I gasped, placing my hand on my chest acting coy. He handed it to me. I smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“HEY! Hey, why does she get one!” Lieb protested. 

“Yeah what the hell George!” Cobb agreed. 

“Cause she’s pretty, unlike you ugly son’s of bitches.” He insulted them. I laughed, poking my tongue out at the men, I held up the bar rubbing it in their faces. George shooed me away, slapping me on the ass as I retreated, I let out a squeal in surprise, turning to laugh with the man. 

“George one bar!” Lieb pleaded. 

“No, there’s not enough to go around!” George yelled at them. 

I left quickly, seeing that Lieb seemed to be eyeing up my prize. 

—-------------

 “Let’s go!” Chuck shook me awake, I had almost completely dozed off on my bunk, but was rudely awoken by the man. 

“Where?” I asked, sitting up stretching.

“Briefing at CP, come on.” He hauled me out of bed by my arms. I followed along, still spaced from being asleep moments ago. 

“Why am I coming?” I asked trailing along behind the group, yawning into my hand. 

“You're on call, if anything goes wrong.” Lieb tells me, I nod. I don’t actually think I need to be there, but I’m dragged to it anyway. 

Babe slings me under his arm as we walk. I let him lead me, only having my eyes open a crack. 

The boys slump down into their seats in CP waiting for the others to arrive for the briefing. I lean against the back wall by the window behind Web. I don’t need to be right up at the front with the rest of the men, as I’m not going on the patrol. Lt. Jones leans against the wall by the entrance looking nervous, quiet chatter filling the room. 

“Come on, he can’t be leading.” I hear Grant whisper to Babe. There had been a rumour spread quickly, no surprises there, these boys gossiped like no one’s business, that Jones was leading the patrol. Which made them all very apprehensive of going, more so than before. We all saw what happens when we don't have a good leader running the show. Cough, cough Dike. 

“I’m not sure what they decided.” Babe said to him. They lounge with their legs propped up on the table same as the other men gathered around the table. 

“No way. Not on his first day.” Grant continued in his disbelief. 

“Well, do you see any other officers here?” Lieb asked.

More men gathered in the room, standing around the table. I could make out a few of them Cobb, Skinny, two other guys I couldn’t remember their names. 

They chatted briefly, with the new men wondering who was going to be in charge of the patrol. Sending worried glances to the young officer in the corner, hoping and praying it wasn’t him.

“10-hut!” Jones announced. I had no idea what that meant, but I straightened standing tall. Since when did we do this? 

“Jesus.” I heard Lieb mutter to himself as he stood. 

“At ease.” Winters told the men who relaxed back into their seats, Martin followed in behind him. 

I kind of listened, kind of didn’t. I got the basics, the patrol was happening at 0100, how fun! That 15 men were going over on the patrol, which was a prisoner snatch. They had four rubber boats to go across the river, so that they didn’t have to swim in the icy cold water. Most importantly Winters informed the men that Lt. Jones would in fact be the ranking officer, but he was going to be shadowed by Martin. Sergeant Martin was going to lead the patrol in place of Malarkey. My brain clicked on, he isn’t going. I sighed with relief, I was glad he didn’t have to go.

I also didn’t miss the look shared between Jones and Web, neither did Martin glaring at the pair of them. What had they been up to together for that kind of interaction? Had they been planning this. I know Jones wanted in on the patrol. What had Webster done to hook him up with the position he was in now? Webster didn’t have any pull around here, he literally just arrived back! 

“10-hut!” Jones’ voice pulled me from my thoughts, no one stood at attention which is what I assumed the call was. 

“As you were, carry on.” Winters said disappearing with Martin.     

“A little German, he speaks as much German as me.” Lieb said loudly enough for Webster who was standing right beside him to hear. Webster left the room quickly. 

“Come on you, let’s go.” I was again dragged from the building by Grant and Lieb. We gathered outside, the pair bitching loudly about Webster. 

“Hey.” I said smacking the pair of them. “You two are shit stirrers.”

“What are you siding with him?” Grant asked. 

“No, I’m not. But I feel bad.” I wasn’t here to bully the poor guy.

“Why do you feel bad Em? That guy has been on holiday for four months, during our hardest time and then just rocks back up when everything is almost over to take all the glory.” Lieb told me, clearly pissed off.  

“Em is just too sweet.” Grant said, pinning me under his arm and trying to tickle my neck. I hunched my shoulders up trying to hide the ticklish skin from his fingers. 

“Let’s get moving. I want to try and get some shut eye before we do this.” Lieb said, Grant let me go from his hold. I hid behind Lieb using his body as a shield as Grant continued to taunt me with his wiggling fingers. 

We walked back to base passing Webster who was talking to the officers. 

“Hey, Liebgott, you want to sit this one out?” Ron asked Lieb as we passed. Grant grinning beside him. 

“Yes, sir.” Lieb agreed, smiling brightly. “Thanks buddy!” Lieb sent Webster a wink. 

I caught Ron’s glance, his eyes scanning my features. I could tell he was trying to see if I was alright. I sent him a smile, mouthing ‘I’m ok.’ He nodded, turning back to the men he was talking to.  

—----------

We gathered in the basement having supper before we tried to get some sleep. I sat at the table sipping my water. My bad mood was back. Don was pretending like everything was fine. He smiled and laughed with the men, sitting and chatting with them. The more I watched him the more pissed off it made me. I was over here stewing, and he seemed like he didn’t have a care in the world. 

“You’re going to crush the cup if you squeeze it any harder, Em.” Lieb said, sitting next to me. I loosened the hold on my cup not realising how much power I had behind the grip.

”I thought you would be in a better mood, now that your husband isn’t going on the patrol?” Lieb with a full mouth of food. 

“Emily, you want some?” I looked up, Don stood in front of me holding out a pot of food, a lazy smile on his face. I took a breath, trying not to hurl my cup at his head. 

“I’m fine, thanks. Not hungry.” My tone clipped. He nodded, moving onto the next person. 

“Oh no, trouble in paradise?” Lieb nudged me. 

“Fuck off, Joe!” I sent him daggers, he held up his arms in surrender.  

“It must be bad, you never swear at me!” I chuckled, he smirked, “Aw there she is. Gosh that other one was scary! She looked like she was going to bite my head off.” I raised my eyebrows, cautioning him. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked more seriously now, coming closer to keep his voice down. 

“Nope. Not particularly.” He gave me an empathetic smile, rubbing my back. 

“Come on, you know you’re hungry.” Lieb offered me his food out on the spoon. I rolled my eyes, but opened my mouth. He placed the spoon in my mouth. We shared his meal, he secretly snuck up to get more for the two of us. 

We sat at the table talking when Webster approached us. “Hi.” He smiled, giving an awkward wave. Lieb nudged me under the table, I knew he was asking if I had seen the same thing that he did. I glanced over to Lieb, a small smile pulling to my lips as he hid his smirk behind his hand.  

“Hey Web!” I said politely, focussing back on the man standing before us. “You gonna go get ready for tonight?” I asked, the other men had slowly left the room preparing themselves for the patrol, Martin had told them nothing rattles, nothing shines so they don’t give themselves away. 

“Oh yeah, I was just going to head up and join them.” Webster smiled at me. Another kick under the table from Lieb but I ignored him. I waited for Webster to say something else, surely he had something else to say right, he didn’t just approach us to stand there awkwardly. I silently begged him to speak again. Come on Web don’t make this weird. 

“You look nice.” He blurted, I heard Lieb snort in laughter. He made it weird. “I mean, you look clean.” I made a strange looking face at him, “No, not clean! Um, you look, dressed.” I chuckled, baffled by his comments as he fumbled over his words. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna, go.” He nodded leaving up the stairs. Joe waited for him to leave the room before howling with laughter, he clutched his belly as he did so. I sat there so confused at what just happened.  

“That was a train wreck, that man cannot flirt.” Joe said after he had finished laughing.  

“Flirt?” I asked, that’s not what I got from the conversation. 

“Emily! Come on, he was clearly trying to flirt with you.” Lieb looked at me surprised. 

“I don’t think so.” I shook my head, surely he wasn’t. 

“God you’re hopeless.” He patted my back, getting up chuckling to himself. “Come on, we will do dishes.” Lieb instructed me. 

“We will do dishes? Or you will stand there and tell me what to do while you watch?” I raised my eyebrows at him. He grinned, knowing I had caught onto his little tactic he pulled last time. 

I washed the dishes while he dried. I dried my hands on the tea towel as Joe waited patiently for me to give it back. A devious grin formed on my lips. I twirled the tea towel round in my hand wrapping it around itself so it looked like a long snake. Joe wasn’t paying attention as I walked closer to him. I snapped the tea towel out, whipping him in the butt. 

“Hey!” He cried moving away, it wasn’t the best flick, it didn’t snap like I wanted it too. I tried again, wringing the tea towel around. I flicked it out but Joe snatched it off me before the hit landed. He grinned as he did the same thing, wrapping the towel up. 

“Joe! Joe! Think about it, you don’t want to hurt me.” I said backing up, he stalked me like prey with a grin plastered on his face. 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish then!” He moved faster, I screamed moving away from him as he chased me around the table. 

“Joe!” I cried as he backed me into a corner, I held out my arms trying to keep him at bay. He whipped out the towel it snapped just inches away from me. I yelped in surprise, making my move to run past him while he reloaded. I pushed past him but he was quick, the towel snapping onto my leg. I let out a cry, it had caught the back of my thigh. The snap echoed around the room. 

“Oh Em, that was so much harder than I intended!” He laughed as I grasped at my leg hopping around the room. 

“Ow!” I said, but still laughing, “Joe you asshole, that hurt!” I rubbed the spot where he had got me, it stung so much. “You little shit!”

“I’m sorry, aww Em!” He laughed watching me in pain. “That would’ve left a mark for sure.” He grinned. 

“Owww, I think it did. Wait, I want to see!” I said undoing my pants, it was fine I had my shorts underneath which I normally slept in. I pulled them down exposing the back of my thigh. On my white skin was a harsh red welt with flicks of purple in the middle. 

“Joe!” I said covering my mouth, it looked so bad. 

“Oh god.” He hissed looking at it. “Whoops.” He said, still grinning. I smacked him on the arm, pulling up my pants. We finished the dishes together. Heading upstairs to get some sleep before the patrol. 

---------------------------------------

Chapter 22

[badhabitnun]

Hi, Green!!! I noticed in your bio you said you're a post-hiatus phannie and I'm curious, what got you to start watching them? Do you remember your first impressions?

(Sorry if this has been asked before! I hope you're having a wonderful day and also just wanted to add I lovedddd your phasquerade art, it's hilarious and adorable 💚)

-Ser :)

hi ser!! this is actually my first ask on this blog, so i was really excited to see something in my inbox 🥹 and thank you!! posting art is SCARY but everyone is being so nice… thank you so much for organizing the phasquerade!!!

i am incredibly sorry for the Length of what is to come now. my feelings aren’t easy to sum up + i doth yap

the main reason i started watching them is probably the dapg revival itself, since my friends started watching their new videos together in our server, and i got curious and asked to tag along. before then though i’d also heard of dnp from them, and as a long-time (12 years) tumblr user i have felt their influence without realizing they were the source? i now know where the whiskers and “protip” come from…

before starting to watch dnp myself i remember seeing my friends react to the phouse reveal (i remember i was like “huh wait at their age that might actually be gay”), basically i’m gay, why i quit youtube, and dan and phil tell the truth (i didn’t know what a girl in prague was and i WAS afraid to ask). those made me curious! but not curious enough to sit through the videos themselves. i felt really bad for dan from all that though! he really sounded like he suffered more than jesus from the contents of both BIG and WIQYT 😭 i remember feeling parasocially protective of him. this is all to say my impressions weren’t COMPLETELY fresh when i started watching and especially for dan i already had one

now back to late 2023! i’d made some really massive changes in my life, like actual leap of faith, the course of my life has been altered kinda massive, so youtube become a comfort space for me. enter these two nerds! the first impression i had of both of them together kind of related to where i was in life at the moment: the realization that you can just live with a fellow nerd who loves you and you don’t have to follow the path the adult world expects from you. seeing them act silly and embrace everything they love and be so carefree and happy to be themselves, sharing a domestic life that doesn’t follow what heteronormative society demands… i know this is all obvious to so many people, but i really needed it at the time.

they became a reminder that i could have this life, that i have something to look forward to and my life isn’t over or doomed to be what society wants it yo be. their chemistry is something very pure and very real and especially now that they’re both open about their sexualities you can really feel how connected they are and how much fun they have together. it just makes me so happy to see two people adore each other so much after all these years!! god!!!

as i’ve said before i knew about dan from his yearly videos in the hiatus era, but i knew almost nothing about phil! the first thing that stood out to me was his accent, since i am very bad at recognizing accents BUT i watch plumbella so i was like whoa is he northern!! and that was kind of an instant comfort factor.

phil is an underrated comfort video genius like seriously... i was facing the horrors of being stuck at home for christmas with a thousand thoughts on my mind and his silly videos were like a nice patch of sunshine. i absolutely agree with dan on phil’s kind energy; he is like those nice people who come talk to you and actually try to make you laugh and feel more at ease if they notice you’re feeling shy. he kept me a LOT of company and i genuinely owe him for that. i can also tell he’s incredibly smart and creative even though his videos now are more casual; he definitely does a lot behind the scenes and he’s an excellent storyteller. i’ve later come to learn that he has also repressed a lot of things for the sake of his audience and probably dan as well, he really has a good heart. also, he resonates a lot with the autistic experience, and regardless of the reason that does make me feel happy and seen

as for dan. well! once i actually started watching his videos firsthand, dan felt like looking at a mirror, which has Impacted Me psychologically. a lot. BUT let’s get the silly stuff out of the way first i immediately understood why my friend has a crush on him 😭😭😭 like i get it!!! i can never bully them for having a crush again because i fucking get it he’s hot he knows it he carries it well! fuck!

but more than that… he immediately made me reflect on myself. i can’t get into my impressions on dan from dapg without saying first that i have had a similar journey with depression and homophobia and repressing everything and he forced me to face that i still have a lot of work to do. i didn’t realize that just knowing i’m queer and acting on it doesn’t automatically mean that i accept myself being queer. that is something that only BIG and hearing dan talk about queerness and mental health made me realize. so right after the omg funny hot nun, i had to kind of reconsider my whole life for a bit… and i’m still in the process of doing that…

more than anything, i think what i’ve felt and keep feeling watching both his older and newer videos is “god i’m so glad he’s out” and “god i’m so glad he can make art”. i just feel so proud of him, so happy he can experience life as himself, so happy that he can laugh and joke about being gay so freely, so happy he can make the art he wants and feel accepted, and so happy that he can proudly smile at his audience now, after i first heard of him as someone who was isolated and scared. again, i projected on him a lot, and i knew about his struggles beforehand, so my impressions are mostly sentimental 😭

all in all they’ve helped me immensely and made my life so much better, both as themselves with their comment and through the community they created over the years. i’ve been a lurker for the past couple of months and what made me come forward and make my own blog is the way their kindness and acceptance extends to their audience and vice versa :)

hopefully that answers your questions and i hope this wasn’t too much oversharing!! i feel like my current place in life influences how i see them and relate to them, and they also influenced me a lot and that contributes to how i perceive them, and so on. putting all these thoughts into words in one place and realizing things about myself bit by bit was really interesting; hopefully the formatting won’t kill those who try to read it. i’m sorry. i wrote this in my notes app 🫡

[bitchlessdino]

You know i love dino but i also really really love boo seungkwan so how about a morning coffee/brunch date with kwannie 🫶🏼

Pairing: gn!reader x seungkwan

Genre: fluff

word count:2.5k

tags: brunch date, blind dates, book stores, sunset

Summary: Blind dates aren’t really your jam so you didn’t expect to enjoy this one so much.

No description, no name, no age, absolutely nothing. You were walking into the face of danger. Well, maybe not danger per say, but a blind date with no context and absolutely no point of reference to who your date would be. All your friend that set you up said that it was a total surprise and that he is a total hottie, completely your type.

Your eyes watch over the tons of people in crowded brunch places, already told that your date was waiting for you inside. Your friend texted ahead of time that he’d be early, hoping to make the situation a tiny bit easier for you. It did not.

Luck struck when your eyes land on someone you would define as a ‘hottie’ and met his round eyes before seeing him timidly smiling at you in the midst of the noise. He put up his hand and waves, to which you do right back.  You stare at him for a minute before realizing he’s urging you to take a seat, quickly following through. “Sorry, you’ve probably been waiting a hot minute.”

“Not at all, glad you could make it.”

“They literally didn’t tell me anything, just that I would know and here you are.” You playfully present.

“And here you are! Wow, I was told you were gorgeous, she was not kidding.”

His words already had you flustering, knowing you had those exact thoughts about him in your head. You cup your cheeks in embarrassment before immediately changing the topic. “Thank you, um, have you ordered yet?”

He shakes his head, “Just some water for now. Didn’t want to get my food before yours. They have a special, or you can get the surf and turf brunch item, gosh so many options, and mimosas! Hopefully bottomless, but ha, probably shouldn’t be drunk on a first date—oh my god, my head is all over the place. I’m Seungkwan, by the way.”

Gosh, he was way cuter than you anticipated.

“Thank you for reminding me, I definitely would’ve forgotten to ask. I’m Y/n.” You put your hand out for a handshake, which he accepts, firming grasping in a hearty friendly shake.

“I’m saying this more for myself than you, but let's relax. No formalities. I’m not really sure of blind date etiquette, to be honest.”

“Oh thank god,” you sigh a breath of relief, “Me too, I had no idea what to expect, but I’m starving, so don’t mind me while I scarf down a whole brunch special.”

“I am glad you said that because I will have no reason not to scarf down mine.” He put his hands up and caught the attention of the waiter tending to him before. “Hi, we’re ready to get some drinks—wait are you? Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.”

“Oh no, you're on the money. I’m ready.”

You get your orders in, along with Seungkwan and it doesn't take long to get back into the flow of things. You wish that friend told you he was a conversationalist, you were initially worried you’d be doing all the heavy lifting. It made you wonder what was wrong with him that he was still single. He was super attractive, entertaining, and fit; a total catch. What was his deal?

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but, what’s wrong with you?”

He bursts into laughter, your crass language taking him by surprise, finding it refreshing and even delightful. “What’s wrong with me? What did I do?”

“You’re just…I don’t know, perfect? Why did you accept going on a blind date? I feel like you’re perfectly capable of finding someone.”

He nods in comprehension, seeing where you went with pretty much insulting him within the half hour of talking. “Ah-ha, you say that, but I’ve hardly even made plans after a second, heck even a first date.”

“So, what is it? Dog hater? Conspiracy theorist? Or the worst of all…you’re a ‘movies over books’ guy.”

“Okay, okay. One, no. Two, I don’t even know what that would entail. Three, movies are better, okay?”

“Your flaws are unraveling right now. You’re on my watchlist,” You joke–notice the pun–in a feign serious tone, narrowing your eyes as he lightheartedly rolls his. “Okay, then what is it?”

He shrugs, unsure himself. He would ask himself that every day, and he’s sure–he hopes–he’s following every rule of not being an asshole with potential partners, but something always still missing. “I don’t know, I’ve just been told I’m not really…boyfriend material. They all end up wanting to be friends with me and nothing more. I don’t really get what I’m doing wrong if I’m being honest.”

You hum in ponder, elbow propped with a curved hand to your cheek. “That’s kind of hard to depict. So, you’re either the nicest guy on the planet or the worst guy possible.”

“Why?”

His sincerely hurt tone lets you know he’s assumed the latter, now making you both linger on the significance words ‘the worst’ like it was poetry poorly crafted in a beginner's workshop. Seungkwan at the moment is trying to figure out the trials and tribulations of adult dating, whereas you wondered why he was already pondering on the negative conclusion.

“Well, to say the furthest you’ve made it is only at the end of the second date can be a red flag in itself, but you have yet called yourself a ‘nice guy’, which means it’s more likely than not you are actually a nice guy. And that’s maybe the issue. You’re not setting off romantic vibes, hell, you even said we should drop the formalities.”

He shot his eyes and finger at you, accusatory, “Which you agreed to!”

“And accepting that too quickly was your first wrong step in the wrong direction.” You retort smugly. “Dating is like a soccer field, Seungkwan. You make the right moves, you score a goal.”

“...I do like soccer and scoring goals.”

“Well, so far you’re kicking the ball directly at the goalie’s feet instead of strategically making it to the net.”

“Alright then,” his elbows are parallel to each other as the interlock of his fingers holds up his face in amused anticipation, “What do you suggest I can do better?”

You stretch your lips out in a wide grin, already listing out the unorthodox first date activities you can teach him, but decides to spare him. Before you get started, you made made sure to finish your meals, leaving a decent tip when the bill arrived. You drag him out of the brunch place with a hand wrapped around his slim wrist and towards the direction of a bookstore, you knew is not too far from here. 

“Books…” he whines, “I’m eating my movies over books comment, aren’t I? You’re going to force me to read?”

“Tip numero uno: try doing things that your date might enjoy. There is so much magic in reading,” You run a finger through a shelf you know all too well and hand him the hardcover, “Here, go nuts.”

He playfully grimaces, observing the foreign object you’ve put in his hands, feeling the indentation of its engravings and subtle, yet stimulating, cover art it had to offer; in the midst a black, shots of red, purple, and yellow all over. It was, admittedly, beautiful, but wasn’t the saying always ‘don’t judge a book by its cover.’

“I don’t get it.”

“Just read. I’ll pick up one myself and we’ll share a spot in a corner with intimate lighting and little space.” You wink at him, grinning.

He can’t help but grin back, “Alright. Lead the way.”

You sit in the silence of each other in close space as you promise, scanning the jumbles and combinations of letters that would stare back at you. Although your selection was a mildly good read, you were curious about Seungkwan’s journey as you peek up from the covers and see him enthralled with the content (a good change from the yawning he was exhibiting earlier).

“How is it,” you whisper.

He barely catches your words in his immersion and looks up confused, clearing his throat as you blink back at him with a goofy grin on your face. He tries not to let the corner of his lips twitch, but fails. “Slow beginning, some alright pacing, have to admit.”

You nod, pretending to take notes, “Something worth finishing?”

“...Be honest, you brought me here so I would shut up, didn’t you?”

You snort, covering your face with your book. “Maybe you’d be cuter if you were quiet,” you answer, not denying it.

“That is so mean of you to say—you’re lucky I enjoy your company.”

As you enjoy his. Fortunately for both of you, you finished your books (thank goodness for fast reading and short books) and you both leave the store, surprisingly content with what has come out of it. You can tell he enjoys it, even if he denies it and triumphantly says movies are always better. There are smiles on both your faces, hands lingering at each other's side. For a somewhat quiet afternoon, it felt like I’d be memorable, at least for a first blind date.

“Look, the sun's setting,” you point out.

The air felt warm and alive, you’d think it’d have a mind of its own. This lights up a figurative bulb in Seungkwan’s brain, now having him be the one to tug to a place of unknown, and for some reason, you were okay with that, and rightfully so. You stumble upon a park together, luscious green grass with tall fibrous green trees to match.  It was a sign spring was finally here to embrace and enjoy. His hand now interlocked with yours, leads you to an empty park bench, hitting in direct line with the descending star in the sky, sharing a sigh as the colors shift gradually before your eyes.

For the first time in some time, you felt your heart tingle and were unsure whether it was the painting-eque scene before you, the soothing buzz of insects including the appearance of crickets coming out of hiding, or how Seungkwan’s thumb brushes against the back of your hand like it belongs there. Your once normal temperature hand felt warm in his, even comforting despite him being a stranger still, but something about it makes it ok. Seungkwan makes it okay.

“I haven’t watched the sun set like this in so long,” He admits.

“Why’s that?”

He looks down at his lap, a smile on his face. “Something I used to do back when I had free time, or when I needed time to think. I don’t really get that these days.”

“I can say the same.”

There’s an unspoken message you both share. Somewhere in the past that made a reason to stop moments like this. You both had the respect not to pry. The silence spoke for itself, a comfortable kind of silence, the kind that even Seungkwan found himself enjoying.

“I had a really nice day with you.”

You’ve both reached the footsteps of your front steps to your building, lacking the desire to end the day. Your hand feels like it’s fused into his and now you’re worried about how cold it’d be without him. Despite your remorseful mood, you hum, letting him know the feelings were mutual.

In his eyes, you sense hesitancy, feeling the disheartening sensation as he plucks his fingers away from you, and sighs in disbelief. The day just had to be over. He locks with your gaze, holding onto it as if he never would again. Just as you wave your hand at bidding him an amicable goodbye, he calls out your name to make you stop. You turn to him slowly, almost expecting—no hoping—it’s exactly what you think he’s going to ask you.

“Can I…kiss you?”

His tone resembles that of a timid schoolboy: a light dusting of red on his cheeks and ears, his eyes shifting back and forth, and his lips quivering before even forming those words. You lightly giggle, walking back towards him, standing close enough to him you can still smell the syrup breath from the brunch you had together, reminding you really needed to fix something for yourself when you get inside.

“Depends, is that something you ask on all your first dates?”

He shakes his head apologetically in defense. “N-not at all, I just thought, we had this moment—or I guess a lot of them, I don't know, maybe just me—that I wanted to do it but felt awkward to ask, but now I’m asking anyway which kind of proves me right—mmp.”

Your lips meet his mid-speech, lucky for you since the curve of your lips fit perfectly through the gap of his, close your eyes, and sigh in bliss when you feel how lush and soft they feel. Seungkwan pauses for a moment, for the first time glad he’s being interrupted, and reciprocates with heavy lids, savoring the felt and taste. It’s chaste and magical and even peaceful, something you could only read in books or watch in movies or experience after having starved yourself all day waiting for the morning to come so you can have breakfast. His hand finds your shoulder, steadying himself against it, but pulling you closer, the heat of the kiss making him momentarily lose all of his remaining senses. It leaves him wanting more, more than what first fate normally could offer, and he begs himself to keep it together.

When you part, it’s like a ghost of his lips is still there and you smile. “You talk so much.”

“Sorry.” 

You shake your head, grinning harder than ever. “It’s cute.”

His eyes finally shoot open and he drops his jaw in realization. “Your number! Oh my god, I was going to ask before you were going to leave—I mean if you wanted to give—“

“Sure,” you pull out your device from your pocket and are met with several missed calls and messages, ones that had you shocked, almost erupting with boisterous laughter. “Oh, my god.”

“What? You changed your mind didn’t you?”

You shake your head again, showing him your phone.

Jihyo: where are you

Jihyo: don’t you ignore me

Jihyo: you did not just ditch my guy 

Jihyo: you better have a good explanation on why you left a perfectly good date waiting around for you and didn’t have AT LEAST the decency to give me a heads up

Jihyo: OMG ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDNAPPED, IM GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY KIDNAPPED

Seungkwan sees what you mean and laughs with you, now has the urge to pick up his phone and see a similar flurry of messages from his friend. You match in an expression of disbelief, finding this situation serendipitous, and although remorseful of having left out their real dates, they were not regretful of having met each other. It makes this encounter a lot more special knowing it wasn’t meant to happen yet the universe made it out to be that way. You both hope this time it’ll last.

[bringthekaos]

Gunna take a break from Arcane for a moment to talk about Our Flag Means Death, because I am extremely disappointed and I have to put these thoughts somewhere. Putting it under a cut, because I myself forgot to filter the OFMD tag while I was working and got it spoiled for me. So ye be warned, OFMD SPOILERS AHEAD.

That ending was genuinely one of the worst I’ve seen in a long time. The only other time I can recall being this sickened and angry about a show’s ending was Game of Thrones. And it’s not because I’m sad or mad or confused by Izzy’s death, yes that’s partly it, but because a character who was experiencing massive change and character growth was ONCE AGAIN rewarded with death. I am so goddamn sick of rooting for people to do better, to be better, and then FINALLY get that catharsis only to have it thrown away for shock value.

What did this add to the story? Narratively, I mean. If this is indeed the end of OFMD, and it doesn’t get renewed, what the absolute FUCK kind of message does that send? Izzy was postured as some kind of obstacle between Ed and Stede in Season 1, but in S2, he was allowed to grow outside of that weird and fucked up love triangle (term used incredibly loosely, because his love was pretty much one-sided, and most of the time it was selfish and toxic). In S2, he went on an incredible journey of coming to terms with the fact that Ed would never be his again, not in the way he wanted. Even if it was never romantic or sexual (I do not see it), he wanted Ed to himself, and he had to accept that it would never happen. And he fucking DID, that’s the pisser. He learned to see the value in Ed’s transformation, the good that Stede was for him. And he learned to appreciate it and even start playing with it and teasing the two of them. And the worst/best part was that he embraced the crew, put them into that hole in his heart that Ed left. His speech to the Prince about them being family, and that you give up your wants and dreams for them, because being a pirate is bigger than any one person alone. GOD, his fucking character growth was incredible and heart-wrenching all at once.

And then to just throw all of that away, for what? To remove him as an obstacle between Ed and Stede? He already did that himself. To make the title of the show mean something (that the flag truly means Death?). That is just so fucking cheap and backhanded. Oh, Our Flag Means Death, but no one has died yet, better kill somebody; quick shoot Izzy Hands. How about you just make the word ‘death’ a symbol for change? The death of who you once were, the death of old biases, the death of toxicity and selfishness.

Because what would have been the problem with making Izzy the new captain of the Revenge, and letting Ed and Stede go off and do their thing? In the grand scheme of the narrative, why did two characters’ happy ending have to come at the cost of another’s?! It cheapens that happy ending, puts an asterisk on it. Especially when Izzy had JUST come to the realization that that crew, those people (no matter how ridiculous and soft they were) were his motherfucking family and he would do anything to protect them. He should have gotten to, and I just… I cannot forgive that. I’m not saying you can’t kill off characters, we shouldn’t expect anyone to have plot armor. But for god’s sake, at least make it make sense, give it a reason beyond shock value.

If OFMD gets a third season, I may or may not watch. It’s more than likely I won’t. And not because I don’t love the Stede/Ed story, or any of the other beautiful ones on that ship, I do. But because I’ve lost faith in the story.

[strandnreyes]

thanks @orchidscript @alrightbuckaroo @heartstringsduet @tellmegoodbye @tailoredshirt @paperstorm @carlos-in-glasses !! (you’re all in the queue!)

September 28, 1622

Today was nothing of note. I often wonder why I write on these days when there are so many more interesting ones for you to read about when you return. But if you were here, you would tell me that you would want to know about even my most monotonous days, so for you, I will fill another page of this journal. I have already filled so many. Good thing you like to read.

I did not sell as many apples today as I had hoped. Thankfully, the eggs are doing well. I wonder if we should invest in another hen while demand is high. I wish you were here to make these decisions with me.

I ran into Paul at the market. I told myself if there is another production soon for me to join, I will do it. He did not have good news for me today. Perhaps tomorrow will be different.

Money is tight right now, but I do not want you to worry. Not that you will know, anyway. Some days I worry about what happens when winter comes, but for now I am doing okay. Me and Buttercup and Poppy are getting by. I cannot wait for you to meet Buttercup. I think you will love him.

Poppy misses you—not as much as I do—but she always trots a bit faster when we approach the harbor. She’s a smart girl, I think she knows that is where you will return to us. I’ve been feeding her one of the best apples from each day’s pick. I know you would not mind.

I watched a ship come into the harbor today. Many people around me had joyous reunions. I try to feel happy for them. Oftentimes I feel envious. One day that will be us, though maybe our home would be better suited for a reunion. I long to kiss you again.

I am in our bed now. Your side. It is hard not to think about where you are. I hope you are okay, that you are getting some sleep. I know it must be difficult. Think of how good we will sleep when we are together again. I think about what many things will be like when we are together again. There is not enough room on this page to write it all down. For now, I will keep these thoughts in my head until I can share them with you in person. They are closest to me there. I want to keep you as close to me as I can.

All my love,

TK

tagging @freneticfloetry @fitzherbertssmolder @lightningboltreader @liminalmemories21 @reyesstrand @rmd-writes @wandering-night19 @welcometololaland @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @three-drink-amy @theghostofashton @ambiguouspenny if you’d like!