#why am I like this. on the bright side I finished that history assignment

[curiositykilledtheradiostar]

me, fully conscious of the fact I am overworking myself while literally sick: haha, jon sims moment

[nomimits7]

~ Happy ~ | 3

Title: Happy

Pairing: Yoongi x OT6

Warnings: Manipulation. Gaslighting. Violence? Guns. rich people have no laws. It's kind of noncon, but not that sexual? Panic attack! If I missed something, let me know

Summary: In a world where Auras can be seen, Yoongi lives a peaceful life as a broke, young adult. He attends Uni just so he can get into an internship to escape his current life. What he doesn't know is that six others are looking for him. They want him. They need him and they will have him. Forming a rainbow would give them all the power they could dream of.

“Yellows are vivid, luminous colors that usually radiate warmth and energy. Yellows and Oranges are usually very close. They share a lot of the same traits, but there are some significant differences. Yellows are seen as cheerful, happy, and optimistic. 

Even in the early 2000s, the color yellow was associated with joy, intelligence, and abundance. In the old ancient world,(Destroyed history)  yellow was the color associated with deities of knowledge and learning. Some cultures back in the day even associated the color with fertility. 

Yellows can stimulate the nervous system and activate memory. Yellows are usually great at getting people to talk and open up to them. This is seen as one of their many gifts. They are very smart individuals and they often make others feel safe around them” Professor Choi stated as he displayed a slide filled with many varieties of yellow auras. 

“Professor? Doesn’t that just create a false sense of security? Isn’t that dangerous?” A female student asked as the professor side-eyed her. He was clearly not in the mood to discuss the bad sides of the many auras. The professor even scanned the crowd of students for Jungkook. Yoongi would even go as far as to say he was relieved when the other didn’t show up to class. 

“Well, yes. It is said that in the earlier days, most people were very cautious around yellow auras. Especially the very bright ones, but it has been proven to be unnecessary. The brighter the yellow aura, the safer the person. Some dramatic people out there have claimed to feel visually fatigued if they stared too long at a Yellow, but you would get the exact same feeling if you stare at a lightbulb too long” Professor Choi said. 

“Professor. I know you don’t like talking about it, but what were the false facts about yellows? I know they were one of the many colors that came into question before the whole ‘Greens are dangerous’ time” Another student cautiously asked. This only made the professor sigh. He was reluctant, which is understood. No one wants a repeat of that time. 

“Well, if you must know, I will tell you. But, believe me, these facts are not true and never were” Professor Choi said as he took one big breath before he continued. “Yellows were believed to be egotistic people. Many believed this because of how easily people got along with Yellows. Many believed it was all a lie and that Yellows were manipulating everyone around them. Most people associated Yellows with betrayal. They were very much convinced at one point that Yellows were going to fall into madness and take over the entire system. To see if this were true, Yellows were closely observed but not one showed any signs of madness or egoism. That’s why they escaped the elimination period. Unlike Greens and Indigos, Yellows were lucky to live to see another day. If I am not mistaken, only ten Yellows total took part in the elimination.” 

To say Yoongi left the class with a sense of confusion and relief was an understatement. After Professor Choi finished his little speech, he gave an assignment on the light colors due in a week and ended the class earlier, again. Yoongi was convinced this class was taking more energy out of the professor than he expected. 

Getting out of class early meant that he could meet up with Hoseok earlier. He quickly got his phone out to ask him for the building name and to let him know that he was on his way. The younger has already been there since earlier. Unfortunately, Jungkook was there with him, if the selfie he got was anything to go by, but after this particular class, it made more sense why they seemed to spend so much time together. Jungkook was an Orange and Hoseok was a Yellow. They are practically the same. One is just happy and the other is scary as hell. 

Hoseok sent him a thumbs up along with a location. It was quite far and Yoongi would have to go by subway. He didn’t have enough cash for a taxi. Yoongi sighed as he pocketed his phone. The quicker he got to the nearest entrance, the quicker it would be over.

*** 

Yoongi hated crowds. Hate was a strong word but it did little to define just how much Yoongi despised being in a crowded area. The train he took to get to the company where he would meet Hoseok was crowded. Not unbreathable, but enough for Yoongi to have to remind himself to stay calm and just breathe. 

He could still move if he needed to, but he could also feel the heat radiating off the people next to him. The train was a horrible place once it was full. All the aura colors would blend together to create what looked like a child's artwork. Different paints splattered on a piece of paper that was supposed to be a dog or a cat. 

Some colors would create beautiful colors, but in a crowded area such as a busy train, it just created an overstimulating environment. Maybe that was why most people looked down on trains. A desperate effort to avoid an assault on your eyes. 

Perhaps that was the reason no one saw it coming. Perhaps everyone was just so busy trying to survive a train ride that no one saw the people get on the train with guns. All Yoongi knew was that one moment he was standing close to a door waiting for his stop and the next it was chaos. 

People tried to get away once the first shots were fired, but unlike in the movies, there’s nowhere to run to when you're trapped in a moving box. From an outside perspective, it looked much like a herd of sheep trapped in a box with three very hungry wolves and no way out. People lose their minds and forget all about the innocent person next to them. In the chaos, a mother was hiding behind her stroller with her baby still in the stroller. Barbaric and selfish. 

Yoongi’s anxiety was having a field day with the new development. He could feel how his throat was starting to close up. The noises were slowly fading out until only his panic remained. His heart was slowly making its way up his throat as he choked back a desperate sob. 

Yoongi closed his eyes as he slid down the door towards the floor. He tried to make himself as small as possible. There was nowhere he could go. He wasn’t safe. He should never have believed his life was finally becoming normal with possible friends and opportunities. He had such a good few days and now he would die on a fucking train. A metal box moving at an obnoxiously fast speed that would only stop when it was far too late to save anyone.

A broad body shielded the light as Yoongi felt an arm around his back. The hand that made its way to his head slowly stroked his hair as a soft voice murmured reassurances. Yoongi was being cradled against a strong broad chest of a stranger. Yoongi could not look up. He physically didn’t possess the strength to lift his head. 

“Shh, It’s okay. I’ve got you, breathe. Follow my breathing. In two three, and out there we go” The voice said as Yoongi tried to follow along. The soft blueness of the stranger's aura seemed to pulse with each breath Yoongi took, which helped him to calm down a bit. Just as he got his breathing under control a new round of gunshots went off. Yoongi felt how the stranger tensed under him. Yet, the stranger only grabbed his head and made direct eye contact. 

“Look at me. There we go. Just keep those beautiful eyes on me. You’re safe with me. I’ve got you. They won’t touch you. I won’t allow it” Yoongi could only nod as he kept his eyes on the man. He was beautiful. Almost like a movie star type of beautiful. His eyes held nothing but concern alongside a galaxy of emotions Yoongi could get lost in. Yoongi could only see the stranger's eyes along with the pulsing blue aura. Everything else was background noise. 

The train came to an abrupt halt at the next station, but Yoongi barely noticed. It was like he was in some sort of trance. Before the doors could even open completely, police officers stormed in. It was a new type of chaos, but before Yoongi couldn’t even think of panicking, the stranger gathered him in his arms and made a quick escape out of the train car. 

Yoongi didn’t protest. He just wanted to get out of there and stay in the calming bubble he was just floating in. Maybe sleep for the next month or three. He was tired, he was always tired after he had a panic attack, but this was a different type of tired. It’s almost as if he was drained of all his energy. The stranger seemed to notice this as he carried Yoongi out of the station towards a car. 

“Where were you heading, clover?” The man asked as he took a seat in the back of the car with Yoongi still in his arms. Yoongi only mumbled out the name of the company as he got a bit more comfortable. The other only chuckled as he nodded towards the driver. 

“Close your eyes, clover. You had an exciting day. Your safe with me” The stranger said as Yoongi slowly drifted off to a deep sleep. In a strange car, sitting on a stranger's lap, going who knows where. 

***

Yoongi knew something felt off. He was way too comfortable where he was lying. Even if he was comfortable, he was moving somehow. Which in itself should have been alarming. Just as he was dozing off again, everything that happened, from the train ride to the shooting and the stranger who helped him, came rushing back to him. His so-called pillow felt off as it was moving. Almost like it was breathing. He jerked away from his ‘pillow’ once he realized that he was literally sleeping on a stranger's lap. 

Yoongi scrambled to get away from the lap and the stranger. He didn’t even look up at the stranger's face as he practically fell to the ground of what now appeared to be a car. The car came to a stop and Yoongi took this opportunity to get away. He threw open the door, mumbling a half-assed apology, and ran. He had no idea where he was or how far he would have to run to get to the studio he was supposed to be, but he couldn’t care less at this stage. Once he ran around a few corners, he stopped to see where he was. 

He soon realized he had no idea as nothing looked familiar. He didn’t know this part of the city at all. Had he been kidnapped by the stranger? The stranger that helped him to calm down with the galaxy eyes and soft blue aura? He wouldn’t have tried to take Yoongi, would he? Admittedly, Yoongi knew almost nothing about Blue’s so he had no idea if they were bad people or not. The stranger seemed so good, so kind. He saved Yoongi without even knowing who he was. Perhaps Yoongi was just overreacting. Maybe the stranger was taking him to the studio? Maybe he was taking him to a hospital or a bus station. 

The ringing of his phone brought him out of his internal monologue. Once he held it in his shaky hands, he could see that it was Hoseok that was calling him. Right. He was supposed to meet him for his project. A sense of relief washed over Yoongi as he answered the phone. 

“Hello?” 

“Yoongi? Are you okay? We just heard what happened on the one subway train! Please tell me you weren’t on that train. Where are you? Should we come and get you? Hello? Are you there?” Hoseok rambled was a mix of shouting and frantic word vomiting. 

‘I’m… I’m fine. I was on that train. In that specific train car to be exact. I- I don’t know where I am. Someone took me and I ran away. It’s- it’s a long story” Yoongi said. He wasn’t going to cry. He would do that when he had time to process the day, but he refused to show that much vulnerability to someone over the phone. 

“Stay where you are. I will come and get you, could you send me a location so I can find you better? I will even drag Jungkook along for extra protection. He’s already putting on his shoes. We’ll be there soon” Hoseok said. Yoongi could hear him rustle with something on the other side as he agreed and quickly sent them his current location. He just hoped he wasn’t too far away from the studio. 

It wasn’t too long until Yoongi heard running footsteps coming towards him. To his surprise, Jungkook was the one to reach him first. The younger had an expression of concern on his face as he grabbed Yoongi to quickly look for any visible injuries. Yoongi stood frozen as the younger mumbled about it not being safe to travel alone. 

Hoseok soon also reached them. He also had a very concerned expression as he too looked for any visible injuries, although he was a bit more subtle about it. Yoongi felt guilty for making them so concerned. He knew that they had no reason to worry about him. He was still a stranger, but he wouldn’t lie to himself and say he didn’t enjoy the attention. 

“You are never traveling by train again. I won’t allow that. I would much rather come and fetch you myself than hear on the fucking news that a gang fight happened on the subway. The subway I know you had to take to get here. I refuse to call your family to let them know that you got hurt or heaven forbid, died” Hoseok declared as he paced back and forth while Jungkook still tried to find any injuries on Yoongi. He kind of reminded Yoongi of a puppy. An angry puppy. 

“I’m okay. I promise. Could we please just go? I really want to get to work on the project. I am curious and it would help distract me from what happened. I’ll deal with it later” Yoongi pleaded. He was tired and he just wanted to not think for a few hours. 

“Right, yeah. Come, the company isn’t that far. Are you okay to walk or should Jungkook give you a ride on his back?” Hoseok asked as Jungkook finally seemed to have deemed Yonngi okay enough to stand on his own. 

“I- I can walk,” Yoongi said as he gave a tentative smile to a very offended-looking Jungkook. He had no idea why Jungkook was being so… weird. In the short time he has known the younger, Junkook has been a good example of what an asshole should be. This concerned side of him was something Yoongi had never dealt with. Gosh, they haven’t even established their friendship yet. Maybe the shooting gave the younger a reality check? Or Jungkook had multiple personalities and he does a dice roll every morning to see who he would be. 

Yoongi would go with the latter. The studio, as it turns out, was just a block away from where Yoongi had ended up. The walk was brisk and quick as the three of them made their way to a room on the third floor. 

Yoongi nearly cried. The studio was beautifully designed with an entire wall filled with monitors and every type of recording equipment a producer could dream of. Yoongi could feel his fingers start to itch. He immediately knew he was where he belonged. This is his dream. This is what he is working towards. 

Jungkook quickly disappeared on a quest to find drinks as Hoseok and Yoongi got to work. Hoseok was good. His demo for his final was good. It was almost perfect, but Yoongi could immediately hear why Hoseok asked for his assistance. Something was missing. Jungkook returned with some Soju and the three of them got lost in the world of music. 

A few hours passed, and Jungkook took over one of the monitors to play games as Hoseo and Yoongi worked. They have straightened out some of the core sounds and it looked like they were close to finally finishing the demo when Hoseok suggested a break. 

Yoongi took a seat on one of the couches. He was tired. His earlier encounter on the train had drained him enough to let him fall asleep on a stranger. Then he had another panic attack once he realized he was sleeping with a stranger. Working on the music helped, but Yoongi could feel a bone-deep exhaustion settling in his bones. 

Hoseok had prompted him to tell them what happened and that further tired Yoongi out. Hoseok kept a comforting hand on Yoongi’s thigh as Yoongi leaned back against the couch. He just wanted to close his eyes for a few seconds. The comforting pats from Hoseok and the events of the day were enough to lure Yoongi into a sense of security. Yoongi fell asleep as soon as his head felt the back of the couch, narrowly missing the knock on the door, or the very familiar voice asking if he was finally down.

Chapter 4

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Don't Say Gay (in Russia)

Author: ValandraWrites

Artist: SoloArcana

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel Past Dean Winchester/Lee Webb

Length: 75000

Warnings: Homophobic language and violence Attempted Sexual Assault

Tags: High School AU, Russian Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Boys in Love, Musician Castiel, Pierced Castiel, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Happy Ending

Posting Date: October 31, 2022

Summary: Foreign exchange student Castiel Krushnic arrived in America looking for a clean slate for his senior year, but his host family didn’t even remember he was coming.  He resigns himself to another year of isolation, but the green-eyed boy who finally arrives to take him home is as confusing as he is beautiful. Dean Winchester is less than impressed to discover his father had signed them up as a host family and never told him and Sam.  Now he has to deal with a grumpy Russian who barely speaks, a best friend who isn't speaking to him, a brother full of teenage hormones, and a whole litany of doubt about who he is and what he really wants.  It’s going to be a fucking disaster of a senior year. Getting closer to Cas requires that Dean confront his own demons as well as try to heal the physical and invisible wounds the past has inflicted upon the tender heart beneath the hard shell who only ever learned the party line that you Don’t Say Gay in Russia.

Excerpt: “So what’s the paper on?” Dean asked, leaning closer to the screen so he could see Gavriil clearly.  It was amazing that they were just chatting with someone all the way in Russia on Cas’ laptop. Cas huffed and rolled his eyes.  “Hugh Heffner.  Is biography assignment.” Dean cracked up, dropping his head to the ground.  “Are you fucking kidding?” “He had to write about American figure in history in English.  And the draft he asked me to check…”  Cas shuddered.  “Will be here a while to finish cleaning it up, if Gavrill can focus.”  Gavriil shrugged as Cas pulled the document he was editing back up, snapping at him in Russian as he made changes.   Dean laid there and closed his eyes, listening to the easy flow of Cas’ voice, the comfortable laugh he shared with his cousin – the only family member he had left.  Now and then, Cas’ gaze would wander over to Dean, and he’d smile, gentle and private, only to be rewarded with another guffaw and taunting garble of Russian. At one of Gavriil’s outbursts, Cas barked a laugh.  Dean poked him in the side.  “What?” “Gavriil says you are cuddly,” Cas said without turning. “Cuddly?” “Ahh, my brain is tired, um he say ‘cute like kitten to cuddle.’” Cas chuckled, clicking around in Gabe’s document and typing a few words. “I am not,” Dean pouted, making Cas chuckle again. “Да, Лапачка.  You are most cute.”   A broken gasp came through the laptop’s speakers, followed by a high-pitched squeal and another stream of Russian.  Cas’ cheeks flushed, and he tried to interrupt, talking over Gavriil with no success until he dropped his face into his hands with a groan. “Dean…  You know Лапачка?” Gavriil asked with a singsong voice. Dean scowled at the laptop screen, switching programs so he could see Gavriil’s face.  “Yes…  Why?” “What mean?” Gavriil narrowed his eyes and Cas groaned his cousin’s name. “Um, it’s like friend or something, right?” Dean’s eyes darted between Gavriil and Cas. “Is for… lover.” The way Gavriil said the last word is borderline obscene, and Dean’s brain began to melt. “Ummm…” Dean searched for words.  He was struck with the idea of just shutting the laptop and hanging up on Gavriil, making it all go away.  That way, he could stick his fingers in his ears and pretend this conversation never happened. Gavriil laughed at the look on Dean’s face, and when Cas lifted his head, his cheeks were flushed bright pink.  “Stop, Gavriil.  Ёб вашу мать!”  He turned and looked doe-eyed at Dean.  “I am sorry.  He thinks he is funny.  He is not.  He is walrus cock who can’t even write his own paper.” “But Cas…” Dean raised his eyebrow and whispered, not even thinking about how ridiculous that was since he was speaking English.  “He called me your… lover.” “Да!” Gavriil yelled, clapping his hands.  “Lover.  Hugh Heffner.  Larry Flint.  Sexy Sexy Bunny Boy, yes?  I have big kielbasa!”

DCBB 2022 Posting Schedule

[svenotes]

drabble #1

❝ the one where your one night stand turns out to be your boss ❞

[ PAIRING ] : jeon jungkook x reader | bff!hoseok x reader

[ GENRE ] : office au (not the tv show lol) + crack, smut (mentioned)

[ WORD COUNT ] : 1.7k

[ WARNINGS ] : mentions of sex, a lot of banter, jungkook only appears for like two seconds so this is more best friend!hoseok and oc bickering 

[ AUTHOR’S NOTE ] : i’m trying to get back into writing, so here’s some funny banter w plot

drabbles | masterlist | wattpad cross post | ao3 cross post

“Besides, when have—!”

“No.”

Hoseok frowns, eyes narrowing on you. “You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

Going through your mental checklist, you neatly place the documents in your hands on your boss’s desk. Today has been a hectic day at the office. It was a miracle that you even managed to finish everything by the end of your shift. On days where you can barely tell the difference between left and right, you found yourself clocking extra hours. You suppose you have Hoseok to thank for that. By some grace of God, he was assigned on the same project as you and as annoying as your friend could be, he also knew when to keep things professional.

He’s already set to leave for the day, waiting for you to finish up. Since the days are getting shorter, he’s made the habit of walking you to your car after work. He stares at you with a dubious look in his eyes, and you hold it for a moment before you walk towards your cubicle to pick up your keys.

“I know you,” you start, grabbing your purse and keys. “I know what you’re going to say because I know you.”

Hoseok scoffs at that, crossing his arms over his chest. A part of you hopes he stops his questioning and drops the topic altogether. However, you know Hoseok. Dropping a subject isn’t his specialty, even if the world demands that he should.

As you try to leave your office, Hoseok blocks your path. “Y/N.”

You keep a straight face. “Hoseok.”

“I am your best friend—!”

“Debatable.”

He ignores you and continues, “And I love you—!”

“Also debatable,” you murmur.

“—which is why I cannot for the life me understand why you would keep secrets about your sex life from me.”

He catches the attention of a few of your co-workers. You brush them off with a smile, wishing them good-night before you pull Hoseok inside an empty office by his loosened tie. He lets out a choked cough as you drag him in and shut the door behind him, keeping your conversation away from prying ears.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Hoseok hisses, rubbing his neck. “I just want some details about the new guy you’re screwing. How’d you meet? How long has this been going on? Why was I never informed you were dating someone?”

You close your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose. “For the millionth time, I am not dating anyone. And there’s nothing to know—!”

“You’re lying! Again!” He points a finger in your face. “You left the bar with someone on the night of Ellie’s birthday and you’ve been secretive ever since.” He narrows his eyes. “Who are you hiding?”

You swat his fingers away, brows furrowed. “I’m an open book. I have nothing to hide.”

“Bullshit. You're as open as Yoongi.”

“How is Yoongi?” You ask, not-so-subtly deflecting. “It's been a while since I’ve seen him. You need to stop keeping him all to yourself. I miss my ex-roommate.”

Hoseok and you have known each other for as long as you’ve been working for the company. He sat in the cubicle beside yours and over time you became good friends. Yoongi, your roommate at the time, stopped by the office to drop off some lunch and met Hoseok before you could introduce them.

At first, the two despised each other, their personalities crashing — Hoseok too bright, and carefree and Yoongi more mellow and conserved. However, things began to shift between them over time and now Hoseok walks around with a ring in his jacket pocket at all times.

Hoseok’s cheeks dust pink. “I haven't proposed yet if that's what you're wondering.”

“Just let me know who’s best man I’m going to be,” you laugh.

“None of ours, ‘cause I’m going to ban you from the wedding—!”

Your eyes widen, appalled. “Why—!”

“Who are you dating?”

Your mouth clasps shut, glaring at him. “No one.”

It’s not a lie, Jungkook and you are not dating. Your relationship with him was far from romantic. However, Hoseok doesn’t know that and you’re not sure how you're supposed to tell him. Especially when it seems as though your past is trying to relive itself in the form of another man. You worked hard to move on from when you fell in love with your co-worker — you’ve worked so hard to put the past behind you and keep your professional life separate from your personal. Yet, it’s as if all of that hangs by a thread, threatening to slip through your fingers because history is trying to repeat itself.

How were you supposed to know your kind-of one-night stand was the youngest heir of Jeon Enterprises? You wouldn’t have dared to take a bite of the forbidden fruit if you knew.

A headache forms at the very thought of Hoseok’s lecture once you explain to him you unintentionally fucked your boss. It’s why you’ve been avoiding him and deflecting his questions throughout the day. You sigh, meeting his eyes.

What Hoseok doesn’t know cannot hurt him, right?

His eyes narrow on you, mouth opening for a rebuttal, but the knock on the door silences him. Your attention turns towards the door and you forget to breathe at the sight of the man at the door.

Jungkook's eyes immediately find yours, a small smile tugging on his lips. He looks sweet — innocent, even. Nothing like the man who feasts on you like fine cuisine. Your breath gets caught in your throat when you vividly remember the sinful things he can do with those lips — that mouth. You push the thoughts to the side, mirroring his smile despite the rapid pace of your heartbeat.

“Mr. Jeon,” Hoseok speaks first, clearing his throat.

Jungkook's eyes widen a fraction as he finds Hoseok standing a few feet from you, mirroring the shocked expression you wore moments ago. As if he didn’t even notice Hoseok’s presence.

“Please, call me Jungkook,” he starts, sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. “There’s no need for formalities.”

Hoseok simply nods. “Right. Jungkook.”

“I — uh,” you clear your throat, ignoring the heat that rises to your cheeks as Hoseok's scrutinizing gaze flickers between the two of you. “Did you need anything?”

“Ah,” Jungkook’s eyes flicker towards Hoseok. “Nothing in particular. I was going around trying to get to know the team better. You just seemed preoccupied earlier and I didn’t want to disturb you, so I thought I’d catch you now.”

“Oh,” you say, stupidly.

“We were was just about to head home,” Hoseok adds, glancing between the two of you. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

"I see,” Jungkook hums and his lips curl into a frown momentarily. “It was nice meeting you today. I look forward to working with you both.”

You hold his gaze for a moment before you respond, “Yea, likewise.”

“Me too,” Hoseok deadpans.

Swallowing, you ignore the look Hoseok sends you. It’s clear, he knows; he's put the pieces together. You will the heat in the apples of your cheeks to dissipate as you keep your composure.

“Goodnight.” Jungkook nods at Hoseok before returning his attention to you. “I’ll see you later.”

“Night.”

As he leaves, his gaze lingers on you for a second too long before he walks away. You let out a breath of air you didn’t realize you were holding, hand resting against your thundering heart. Hoseok waits for the door to shut and for Jungkook to round the corner before—!

“I’m not going to lie,” he begins, leaning against the desk, “that was painful to watch.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re fucking him.” It wasn't a question.

“We slept together a few times,” you sigh, pressing your fingers against your temple. “He said he worked at his father’s company, but I didn’t know his father was CEO of Jeon Enterprises. It didn’t even piece together that he was the Jungkook our team manager was talking about until I saw him this morning.”

He lets your words sink in, humming as he studies you. “He was totally gonna ask to fuck you tonight.”

“Shut up.” You throw your keys at him, but he catches it with ease. “We’re… supposed to meet tonight.”

He raises a brow. “To fuck?”

“Mhm.”

You’re supposed to meet tonight for a date, but Hoseok already knows too much. Telling him you decided to humour Jungkook for a date will only worsen your headache. Mainly because Hoseok will tell you the only reason you’re humouring him is since you like him.

Only two weeks have passed since you first met and look at the mess it’s already created. What should’ve been strictly a fuck-buddy relationship has turned for the worst.

“You probably shouldn’t.”

“I know.” You slouch, defeated as you lean against the desk beside him. “I know.”

“Wow — wait.” Hoseok’s shock turns into a frown. “You bailed on me Sunday night for mediocre dick, didn’t you?”

“Not mediocre dick,” you sigh, reminiscing the last time you went over. Although, it doesn’t last for long — “Ow! Hoseok, what the fuck?”

“That's for bailing on me,” he snorts before flicking your forehead again. “And that was for telling me his dick game is good.”

You roll your eyes, scoffing, but that doesn’t stop the rush of memories from last weekend. Limbs entangled between sheets, hands grazing every inch of your bodies and lips twined with yours. Your body still remembers the comfort of his warmth as he brought you to euphoria over and over again. A mere memory makes your knees weak.

Your phone buzzes in your hands and you suppress your groan.

[ 6:14 pm ] jungkook (dude w the nice dick): you still coming over?

You don’t realize Hoseok leans over to read your text until —!

“Booty-call.”

Flicking his forehead, you ignore Jungkook’s message. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Alright,” he says, following after you. He keeps quiet until you’ve both entered the elevator, away from other’s prying ears. “Are you going to visit him tonight?”

“I don’t know.”

Your thoughts are torn between right and wrong — your career and pleasure. Meeting him tonight and ending things would be the right decision, but you’re not entirely sure you would be able to avoid his advances if you tried.

You’re screwed.

It’s been long since you crossed the Gates of Eden and sunken your teeth into the divine fruit, and now you’re addicted to the taste.

You are so incredibly screwed.

all rights reserved © 2021 svenotes

[pure-kirarin]

Slow & Steady [P3] [Sabo x f!reader] (+18)

A/N : Hi !! sorry for publishing this later than I expected, but I got a beta reader and we worked on this chapter for longer. Please do tell me if you like this more <3 We put a lot of effort into it. Now, enjoy !~ Genre : Romance - Smut - Bestfriends to lovers General warnings : Alcohol consumption - Dark themes - Swearing - S m u t - possessiveness - Mention of ex-relationships - jealousy

Synopsis : Isn’t love a matter of timing after all ?That’s what Sabo has always thought. It was about finding the right tempo, making the right moves and hitting the right spot. Patience is a virtue after all, and he had a lot of it. It all started when your ex cheated on you. You were heartbroken, you needed someone and he was there. Was he always that hot ? You didn’t know. But after that night you have never seen him in the same way. Also, please guys comment because this is the first work I put so much efforts in. If I feel like people don't like it, it just feels not worth it to me and discourages me :( I have 2 other multichapters planned but I am thinking of abandoning them because people don't seem to like it...Anyways, please do interact if you like it :)

Part I - Part II -

In the last chapter :

You looked at Sabo go away and you followed him shortly after. Meanwhile Ace was sitting on the couch and watching some movies. You went back home and was quite tormented. It wasn’t the right time to worry as you had your assignments and studies to deal with. On one hand, you didn’t even have the time to think of your ex boyfriend and his cheating but on the other, you felt like you were let down by Sabo.

But why ? He didn’t do anything.

He just found himself a new friend and a potential new girlfriend.He didn’t even talk about her, but why where you so upset by him meeting her ? After all, he had the right to date just like you always did.A few days have passed and you didn’t get the chance to talk to Sabo. Your exams were getting closer and closer and you didn’t feel ready.Usually, Sabo would help you with your assignments but you were too scared to ask. You realized how much you relied on him and how he has been always there for you.

Who were you exactly to him ?

Maybe you took him for granted.

As you were on your bed looking at the ceiling and trying to collect every drop of motivation in your system to study, you heard your phone ring. It was Sabo’s ringtone !

P III

“Hi (Y/N),how are you doing?”

“Oh, Sabo! I'm fine. Kinda busy studying. And you? Haven't heard from you since last time.”

“Sorry about that. My schedule has been extremely tight lately. But I am free now!”

“I was just thinking of you. I have to turn in my history assignment tonight and I might need your help...Pleaaaaaase~ I know you're so good at history, please come save me!”

You could hear him laugh on the other side of the line. His laugh sounded so bright, making your heart flutter. You really did miss him. In the end, you were best friends, right?

“Alright! I'll come rescue you. After all, I have to make up for disappearing.”

“Sabo, you're the best! Would you mind coming to my place?”

“I'll be there in twenty minutes. See you then.”

“See you!”

Hanging up, you thought to yourself: you’ve never been this happy to see Sabo. You rolled on your bed in excitement. Twenty minutes seemed enough to make your room and yourself look somewhat presentable, he has never seen your messy room before. Fifteen minutes later, Sabo was in your room, both of you sat on the bed and started studying. Sabo had always been a top student, he was passionate about history in particular. Helping with your assignments was never a big deal to him.

Now that you gave it some thought, maybe most of your good grades were thanks to his help. He had tutored you many times when you were both in high school and that stayed a constant in your life even now.. Once you finished and sent the file to your professor, it was already late afternoon and Sabo was putting on his coat to go back home.

You had almost forgotten about what happened last week because of all the studying. Things weren't awkward anymore. But you wanted to bring it up because you couldn't help but think about the words he said.

“Sabo ?”

He turned back and looked at you with a smile.

“Yes? Do you need something else?”

“Don't go, I want to...  I want to ask you a question.” You patted the place next to you on the bed.

“Are you alright? You look very pale.” He sat next to you and the proximity made you extremely nervous. Although he had been close to you so many times before, you wondered why this time his proximity was affecting you so. The built up tension was getting unbearable. You could feel the knot in your stomach tighten, but you had to do it, you had to relieve yourself from this situation, otherwise it will still preoccupy you. With a nervous toss of your hair, you asked him, your eyes fixated somewhere on his chest :

“Well...Did I say something weird to you last time?”

“Last time?” he repeats in apparent confusion..

“Well, you know, when I got drunk, did I say something weird?...when you took me back home…”

You didn't even dare look at his face.

“Oh...nothing worth mentioning. Don't worry.” A sweet smile.

Oh, really now? I asked you to fuck me and you're saying “nothing fucking worth mentioning”? Bullshit.

...Or did I make all of that up?

“Didn't I…” you stop, clearing your throat, “didn't I ask you..to...well, you know…” You looked away in exasperation, annoyed that you had to say this and that you could feel your face quickly heating up. You felt your helplessness more fully now as you were discreetly looking at him to guess his reaction. Your eyes were shy and avoiding, looking his way then looking away continuously, almost instinctively.

“Hm? What?” He was amused, the bastard.

“Well...Didn't I ask you to fuck me or something?”

He burst out laughing, looking at your flushed face and the way you said that so fast that he was tempted to tap his ear and tell you that he didn't hear you quite well, but he simply refrained. That would be too much teasing.

For now.

And it wasn't the right time

yet.

“Ha, that.” He marked a pause, “it's only worth mentioning if you want to.”

You bit your lower lip, so he did remember…”Well, about that…”

“Just ask me to and I'll forget.”

But what if I don't want you to forget? You fucking idiot. When did you turn out to be this hot? Did seeing his morning wood put me in such a mood? Do I have this little self-respect? Risking our friendship like this?

He leaned closer to you so that his face was only centimeters away.

His minty breath was ghosting over your cheek;

“But just so you know, there's no going back.”

Was this the same Sabo from a few minutes ago? Was he really tempted to have sex with you? You felt flattered. You thought about Nami's words. Was he really into you? You felt insecure.

You've never felt insecure before.

You contemplated the idea for a second. You had just broken up with your boyfriend and you were now yearning to get fucked by your best friend - a guy that you've never even seen in that way before.

But how many things did you truly know about Sabo? How many things were you not seeing and being unaware of when it came to this man? You were slowly coming to the realization that he had been keeping a lot of things private - his personal life and thoughts mostly held close to himself at all times.

It was always about you in this friendship. And he was patient, oh so patient. You wanted to see all these sides to him that you've never seen before. It was like discovering the hidden door of a secret Eden.

You closed your eyes. You knew that he wouldn't hurt your feelings. You trusted him. You wanted this. You wanted to break the spell that got you dreaming of what you were denied.

You nodded and his smile widened ; Here you were falling, finally.

“I didn't expect anything less from you. What a brave girl you are. I was waiting for you to bring this up. Took you quite a long time.”

He twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers, pressing his hot lips on your forehead. Your breath stopped for a second, eyes closed tightly. You weren't used to this tension, your heart was beating uncomfortably fast.

Where did the prude Sabo that you always imagined go? He was acting normal a few moments ago, and now this? This was definitely more, or at least different than whatever you would have expected.

Your cheeks warmed up at his praise, you were just like a little girl that was given a piece of candy. But you wanted way more.

“Now that I think of it… you haven’t been really good, have you? You said things that you shouldn't have. You’ve tested my patience quite a bit the other day, baby.”

It sounded so natural, the way he called you baby, as if he had always done it. It surprisingly took you not even two seconds to adjust to this new Sabo that you saw. In hindsight, you think you might’ve longed for this Sabo, one who is so open and expressive with you.

“Huh ? What are you on 'bout ? I still stand by my position…”

Saying this was a bad idea.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, it's true, I've never seen you with a girl before. Wouldn't be surprised if you were a virgin. But it's okay, I don't mind… well… teaching you…”

You looked away. It felt a bit off, as if you were playing a role but you were very much into it. There had always been that bratty side to you that he loved so much. He smirked, rolling his eyes. Always with the tough talk huh? He thought.

Smiling knowingly, he reached out for your face. He gently gripped your chin between two fingers, brushing his thumb over your lower lip as he said,

“Looks like you need a good lesson.” He shoved two gloved fingers into your mouth, taking you by surprise and making you instantly back off a bit.

“Hmm. Let's put this dirty mouth of yours to better use.”

He took his fingers out of your mouth, leaving a leathery aftertaste on your tongue. His arm encircled your waist and he held you up effortlessly, securing you against his lap. As you were just wearing a dress, you could feel him getting hard through your panties and you couldn't help but tighten your thighs at this feeling, getting instantly turned on. When did you start wanting him this much?

The corner of his lips curled up as he saw you already getting eager from a simple touch. His arm held your hips in place so you didn’t move around.

He replaced his fingers with his lips, kissing you hungrily. It was nothing like that drunken kiss that you both shared the other night. His tongue got you feeling butterflies in your stomach, heart pounding so hard as you pressed your chest against his, seeking his warmth.

You were going have sex with your best friend and he had a huge dick and he was nothing close to the vanilla prude guy that you expected him to be. You were thrilled. Everything happened so fast. You never realized that you were so desperate for his touch.

You tangled your fingers into his blond locks, moaning into the kiss. You pulled away, cheeks ablaze, impressed by his skills.

“You're a good kisser…”

“Look at you getting all worked up by a kiss...Tell me, who's the virgin here, huh?”

You blushed at his remark and looked away. Cute, he thought to himself.

But it wasn't enough. Not yet. With a sense of urgency, you kissed him again as if it was your last chance to taste his lips. His pace was slower, he wanted to take his time to enjoy this moment while you wanted to rush it up and go to the next step. Breathless, you pull away, hesitant and curious.

“Sabo, do you… Do you like me?”

“I do.” He put his forehead against yours, making you  look deeply into his eyes. The look he was giving you seemed unfamiliar, making you feel intimidated. How did he hide his feelings so well and why did he say them now?If he said he liked me before, would it have been differentWhat changed within him, to make him act like this and most importantly, what changed within you to make you need him so badly? You dipped in for a kiss, trying to get a grasp on your feelings. It didn't feel weird, it felt good, as if you had wanted it for so long.

“Sabo,” you stuttered. He loved the way your voice cracked, how hesitant you were, how your cheekiness disappeared, leaving behind only your conflicted emotions. “I thought about what you said last time and...I...I think I want to. Now.” You emphasised on the last word, goading him into agreeing.

A victorious smile danced on his lips.

“You think?”

He smirked and lifted your chin up so you could look right into his eyes. You couldn't help but close the gap between the two of you, shamelessly rocking on his thighs to get some friction. You kept thinking about the words he had said when you were drunk, you really wanted him. Yes, maybe it was just lust. Maybe it was just a strong desire to sabotage the most precious thing that you had. But for now, you needed his warmth. He pulled back, making you groan in displeasure like a cat in heat. He smiled, his lips barely grazing yours and added,

“You're not ready yet, kitten.”

The look of disappointment on your face said it all. You couldn't believe he turned you down. Once again. You were so adorable, for a moment he thought that he would just snap and take you right there.

“What do you mean ‘I'm not ready yet’ ?! I just said I was. I want you too. That's what I said. I'm sober now, I'll recall how good you are.”

“Patience is a virtue.”

He smiles, and you would’ve given years off your life just to punch him. You could swear you still felt him hard against you and he was acting so composed. You didn't want to let him go.

You were scared that if you did, he would disappear into dust. You felt so desperate, so humiliated.Dying for his attention and heartbroken from past experiences.

“I have to go now.” He lifts you up with ease, placing you on the bed again. He then put his coat on. You looked at him leave with puppy eyes and for a second he hesitated. He was tempted to change his mind. But he had waited for so long and he couldn't afford to ruin everything now. Not when you were so close, so ready and eager to take him.

“Don't go.” You pleaded.

“And who will feed Ace?” He says with a smile.

“I don't care. Don't go…” You got up and hugged him from behind, tightly, letting your mask fall. His departure and abrupt ending of the tense situation he had placed you in, his act so nonchalant, had awakened some insecurity within you.It was driving you insane.

You were confused.

His heart melted at your sweetness. He remembered the reason behind his love for you. You were so fragile, so honest.

“I really have to go, princess.” How could he say such things so easily? “But I promise that I will make up for it next time.”

---

Tag list : @vemuabhi @chloe-abbacchio @mwls-garden @soanywaysistartedsimping @portgaslari @lofi-coffee If you wanna get tagged just ask for it :)

[illyria-12]

AOT Headcanons

I’ve been thinking of posting some of my headcanons and other shit here a bit more. I’m much more active on other platforms, but figured, why not? 

So have something I threw together at... I dunno, maybe 3am Monday morning? :)

Warnings: None that I am aware of.

Includes: Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert, Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Hanji Zoe, Reiner Braun (At present, maybe more added at a later date.) 

AOT Characters as Study Buddies:

Eren Jaeger:·        

Do not expect this boy to remember that he agreed to study with you. He could have agreed to study with you just a few hours ago, and would forget. He needs regular reminders.         

Remind him a couple of days before, the day before, on the day, during lunch and definitely make sure you text him after school.          

Is always late.         

He starts off really focused. Pulls out his books and notes and is eager to help.     

But he also gets very easily distracted. 

Will often check his phone. It’s a really bad habit he can’t seem to control. Whether it’s just checking the time or clearing notifications, expect his phone to be in his hand at least 60% of the time. Clearing notifications often leads to him scrolling through social media, sending snaps or replying to texts too.   

Will always involve you, telling you why he is laughing, showing the funny video or meme he has found or explaining a conversation he is having.

It’s entertaining, but not exactly the reason you are here...        

He doesn’t have a preference of where he studies, he is pretty content anywhere, but if you go to his place, he will frequently bring in snacks or order pizza. Also is much more easily distracted when at home.         

His attention span isn’t great, and although he loves the idea of being helpful and studying with you, he gets bored quickly.         

Can also get confused with his own notes.       

Will often try and get you to call an end to the study session rather than do it himself. It makes him feel accomplished that way; like he has done his job and you are the one who has had enough.Will often groan things like: 

“Are we done yet?”        

“My head/back/wrist/eyes hurt.”         

 Occasionally he will suggest ‘taking a break’, but once that has been agreed to, it is pretty much the end of studying for the rest of the night.

Likes to try and make studying as fun as possible. Bright colours, highlighting, bubble diagrams, sticky notes. You best believe his version of pop quiz is to write random answers on a sticky note and stick it to your forehead and then get you to ask questions until you get the answer right. 

Will definitely reward you with a kiss when you finally get it right.

Sometimes leaves sticky notes in your book of ‘motivational quotes' to make you smile when you eventually come across them.

Armin Arlert:-       

By far, the most committed study buddy you could have hoped for.

You have weekly study sessions at the library every Friday after school. 

Armin is always there before you, fully prepared; books laid out neatly on the table. Sometimes he even starts his homework while waiting for you. 

Is very much a fan of making a little itinerary of things you are going to work through on the day.         

Doesn’t mind odd conversation but is an expert at getting you back on the subject at hand. He can often even relate whatever you’ve said back to the topic... although sometimes it doesn’t make sense. But it’s still funny and endearing. 

“You know who else thought Mrs Bratton was a bitch? William Shakespeare.”         

Is incredibly patient.         

Is a great supporter, always encouraging you and praising you when you get things right.         

Would never admit it but he finds it cute when you just can’t wrap your head around something and then out of nowhere, the penny drops.

The faces you pull entertain him. Either when realization finally dawns on you or if you’re thinking very hard.       

“Hey, don’t worry, you got this... let’s just go through it again.” “That’s it! See? Told you you’d get there.”          

Will always make sure he brings you something to drink and snack on during session. Usually a sandwich, crisps or some chocolate to give you a bit of a boost.          

Doesn’t push you too hard, if you say you have had enough, he will generally leave it there, or try to convince you to do just a bit more, but never in a demanding sort of way.         

“Okay, shall we finish this page first?”     

“One more section? Promise.”         

Armin's biggest downside? He is so soft on you.         

Very often gives you the answers as opposed to forcing you to figure it out. 

Absolutely can not be stern. If you are feeling playful, or really not in the mood and start teasing him,he is quick to admit defeat rather than stand his ground and force you to get through the work.         

Absolutely will do 99% of the work on group projects but share the credit with you.

Levi Ackerman:·        ��

Will make it seem like he doesn’t want to study with you, but will ultimately agree. 

“Why don’t you ask ...... instead? Tch. Fine.”

At first he will always read what it is you have to do, and then proceed to tell you what you have to do, but not necessarily tell you how to do it.

Eventually he realizes you already know what you’re supposed to do... (you can read, Levi.) And then proceeds to actually help.          

Expect a lot of sarcasm and insults. He doesn’t necessarily mean them, but he will say them anyway.         

"Whining about it isn’t going to magically speed this up. Get to it.” 

Very rarely strays away from what it is you’re meant to be doing.

Complaining gets you nowhere with him.         

“No, we’re not taking a break, you should have eaten before.”         

It’s not that he doesn’t care, he does, but he also knows you will do anything to get out of studying when you’re frustrated, and tend to over-exaggerate. You’re not ‘starving’, he saw you eat at lunch... which was only a couple of hours ago.          

Likes to prioritize your subjects. Will take into account when assignments are due in, how difficult they are going to be and how long it will take to get done.         

Strict. Very strict.          

Prefers to study in a quiet and familiar place. Libraries or either of your houses where there are minimal distractions. 

Absolutely will not let you copy his notes. You’re welcome to read them, but he expects you to refer to your own. That doesn’t mean you don’t steal snippets here and there though, much to his annoyance.   

“Do you pay attention in any of your classes?”          

Very good at breaking things down and explaining things. You actually pick things up pretty quickly when studying with him, probably due to his ‘no nonsense’ approach.          

Will occasionally randomly test you to see if you’re actually paying attention and remembering what you are doing. He always smiles a little when you can answer his questions.          

Is not going to do the work for you, and certainly isn’t going to give you answers, you have to really work for them.          

Is patient until you start misbehaving.     

His occasional praises are a treat.

Erwin Smith:·         

Loves to study with you in different places. This man will plan a whole day for it.          

Will always bring a picnic when you study in a park. Happy to share a cocktail if you go to a bar, or a milkshake and burger if you go to a diner. 

If you do happen to study in a library, he will always take you for food afterwards. 

His notes are detailed and beautifully written and he has no problem with you using them.         

Don’t expect him to give you the answers though. Erwin is the sort of person who will ask you what you think. 

“How do you think we figure that out?”   

“What do you think we need to do?”       

“What do you think this means?”         

It’s not that he doesn’t know. But he wants you to try and figure things out yourself. As long as he can see you’re making an effort though, he is happy to guide you and let answers slip here and there, or word things in such a way that you suddenly have an epiphany and get the answer.

Is a great motivator and supporter.          

Doesn’t mind taking breaks every so often and uses this time to have general conversation with you. Nothing work related in the breaks, it’s meant to be a break.         

Is not above bribing you. Whether it be with food, physical affection, surprises... 

Yes, Erwin has in fact brought you gifts and refused to give them to you until you do the work and get it right.         

And he would do it again.        

Erwin knows a decent amount about a lot of different subjects and sometimes shares random facts regarding topics you’re studying about. Sometimes they are not at all relevant. But they are usually always interesting.         

You have this man’s undivided attention throughout the study session. Erwin is usually very busy , so when he does dedicate time to help you, he likes to be fully committed.          

Will ignore his phone completely. Texts, phone calls... everything, until you both take a break.

Hanji Zoe:·         

When the two of you get together to study, it is very hit and miss as to whether you actually get the work done. She is so intelligent, but also, such a ditz at times.          

Hanji can talk.         

Like, a lot.          

She very often will start off talking about a topic and swerve off into other lanes and get completely side-tracked.          

You once started off writing a biology paper and somehow ended up getting a history lesson about Ramses II, after learning all the details of the Black Death and even touching on Jack the Ripper.   

 But she is highly intelligent under her scatterbrain-iness.        

But can become very easily distracted. Especially if you start talking to her about something she is very excited or passionate about.          

Will sometimes forget to bring textbooks you need to use.         

Will hyper focus at times. Sometimes a bit too extensively. It can be very draining.        

Can be known for getting lost in the details.          

Never comes to a study session without a coffee for the both of you.

Absolutely has no problem sharing her notes with you, will often steal yours too.        

“A fresh set of eyes and all that.”        

“Ah, this is good! Who knew you were a certified genius?!”        

Has no problem pulling her weight on group projects, but also has no problem letting you take the lead... or do all the work.         

Tends to be much more productive closer to the end date of an assignment. 

Fidgets a lot. Always tapping a pen, nibbling on the end or twirling it between her fingers. Knee bouncing... almost constantly.          

Likes to take regular breaks to analyse and go over what the two of you have learned and accomplished so far and decide where to go from here.

Procrastinates.

Reiner Braun:·         

Reiner is always happy to study with you. Even though his calendar is pretty full, he will always make an effort to squeeze you in.          

Definitely the kinda guy to put a game night on hold, telling his friends online he will be back in a couple of hours to help you first.          

Always greets you with a kind smile and asking if you’re ready for the session.       

Doesn’t mind where you study, but does prefer to study at his house so he can give you a snack or something to drink.   

Really likes it when you go and study in the garden. It is probably his favourite place to study with you. Just because it is nice, quiet and peaceful.          

Very chilled out; will often make jokes and try his best to keep the mood light. 

Very patient; has no problem going over things multiple times and trying lots of different ways to try and help you understand.          

Likes to be close to you when you work together. Knees occasionally touching, shoulders brushing. Just give this man a reason to touch you in anyway shape or firm. A reassuring hand on your shoulder, a quick one armed hug in the chair, ruffling your hair, squeezing your hand... he is all about that shit.          

Will celebrate your victories and praise you constantly.        

“Hey, well done! See I knew you would get it.”         

“We’ve done a lot today, I’m proud of you.”         

Always down for a cuddle or a movie afterwards, or maybe even a walk through the park to get some air and unwind.          

Will digress sometimes but it’s very fleeting and he picks up exactly where he left off again easily.          

Has no problem with you taking some of his notes, or searching the Internet for answers.          

Will explain how he got the answer and break things down into manageable chunks for you.         

Chocolate is always on the table.        

If you get too stressed he will let you take a break.         

Will offer to give you neck, back or even hand massages if you get too stiff. 

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[whentherewerebicycles]

I’m reading this and am enjoying it a lot. it’s interesting to think about the areas of my life where I was given an unusually high degree of autonomy vs. those where my parents did a lot of things for me / didn’t trust me with autonomy (or were unwilling to let me suffer logical consequences). in public school I spent a lot of time basically doing independent self-designed coursework in the humanities from fourth grade onwards—obviously I had a teacher who was checking on me periodically, but between the gifted program + having a few teachers who regularly let me skip the in class work and do my own thing in a separate room, I had a huge degree of latitude over what I studied and how I studied it. and then it was like, having demonstrated that I could handle it, people just gave me even more freedom in high school, where I was allowed to do all kinds of independent study courses or design my own assignments in regular classes. apart from paying for an SAT class, my parents were also totally hands off with the college process and I m did all my own research, made my own plan, and wrote all my own stuff without any of the ‘coaching’ I think kids are pushed towards these days. and when I needed to take a year off in the middle of college they were worried about it but supportive and didn’t force me to keep going, and that year turned out to be hugely important both as necessary time to decompress & as a year that sent me in the direction of a PhD instead of some other career path. I feel like when it came to academics adults provided guidance when necessary but largely left it to me to make decisions about what I wanted/cared about, and trusted that those decisions would be thoughtful and well-researched.

but then lol the other side of my life is like... my ongoing struggles with keeping my house in any kind of order, my lack of conscientiousness and my disorganization (I slowly improve at this but it is such a struggle for me), my struggles to do things like meet deadlines or pay bills on time (queen of the late fees sigh), my inability to prioritize basic life maintenance tasks, my ability to totally ignore a slowly deteriorating environment until it’s like, Really Really Bad, etc. and I can 100% see the roots of those issues in my childhood, where my mom would write notes for me to excuse me for being late to school (thus reinforcing that there weren’t real consequences for not doing things on time), or would drive up to school to bring me homework I’d forgotten, or would let me wriggle out of commitments I’d made because I had some academics-related excuse, or would stay up late helping me finish some science project I’d procrastinated on too long, etc etc.

all of those gestures 100000% came from a place of love and a place of like, not wanting me to make mistakes that might jeopardize my Bright Future in any way. and also I think they all got folded into my family’s extremely well-established narrative for me, which is that I am the Absentminded Professor who is very booksmart but completely lacks common sense or the ability to handle small daily tasks! idk basically I think what happened was I just strongly internalized the idea that if I dilly dally long enough someone else will pick up the slack eventually, or like, if I put off paying that bill long enlightened somebody will eventually find my credit card and my login info and do it for me. I mean now I’m older and got to spend my 20s suffering the logical consequences of my actions, so I’ve slowly gotten better at some of those things. but it’s definitely something I’ve had to learn and am still having to learn in ways that are frustrating to be dealing with in my early 30s. I often have felt like I’m curiously lopsided in that regard—very ahead in some areas, and very behind or very ‘young for my age’ in other areas, especially anything to do with practical life management stuff. and I feel like this book is giving me a framework for thinking about why that is, and maybe how I can continue to work to bring myself up to speed in certain areas. also I am just learning things for parenting my own kids! though as I ‘fix’ things in my own parenting history, I can’t wait to see what other currently unforeseeable mistakes I will make as a parent that my children will one day be journaling about in their early 30s (‘my mom did X and that’s why I’m like this!!’) 😂

[toosicktoocare]

I’ve been kind of playing with this ATLA Benders College AU, so I’m just going to roll with it. 

ATLA Benders College AU

Snippet 1: Warmth Beyond a Bonfire

Setting: Junior Year, Sokka and Zuko

“You what?” Katara spits out sharply, hand tightening around her fork that’s raised mid-bite.

Beside her, Aang’s jaw drop, almost comically, his mouth full of food now on proper display, and Sokka grimaces.

“I said,” Sokka starts, drawing out his words slowly as if to dumb down the language, “I invited—”

“—Zuko,” Katara finishes harshly, the name alone leaving a sour taste atop her tongue. “You invited Zuko. The same Zuko who terrorized Aang for an entire year.”

“Now, Katara,” Sokka starts, smiling sheepishly and pointedly ignoring Aang’s eyes burning a hole in his face, “terrorize is a bit of a stretch, don’t you think? He had his reasons—”

“—Family troubles don’t justify his behavior, Sokka! I still don’t understand why you even speak to him.”

“He’s my roommate, Katara,” Sokka sighs, abandoning his fork on his tray. He’ll admit, he was far from pleased when junior dorm assignments dropped online a few months ago, and Zuko’s name was typed up plain as the day itself beside his. He remembers a burning anger swelling in his stomach, and in the days leading up to move-in, he filed multiple complaints to the resident director, both written and verbally, with Katara and Aang always backing him up one hundred percent.

Though, each complaint was always answered with a sigh and a rehearsed explanation. “The dean wants to spread out the fire nation students. He thinks it will help with their location-born reputation.”

Sokka thought it was stupid, and his annoyance, and muted fear, carried over into move-in day, diminishing only when he kicked his dorm door open, multiple bags in hand, and was met with warm, golden eyes, and a soft, hesitant smile that flipped his heart sideways.

Since then, he and Zuko have discovered a balance around each other, and, much to Katara’s dismay, an unlikely bond, one that’s civilized, and one that carries a seemingly one-sided something else that Sokka refuses to bring up to anyone, himself included.

“Your point?” Katara snaps quickly. “Look, Sokka, I know Zuko came back from summer break with a new hairstyle, but that doesn’t change the fact that he—”

“—I think he should come.”

The table goes quiet, with only Aang’s nonchalant chewing filling the silence. He ignores the mirror-like looks Katara and Sokka are shooting him and offers a one shoulder shrug in response.

“Maybe Sokka’s right,” Aang starts around his food. “We don’t know what happened to Zuko, but he does seem different now that he’s spent the summer with his Uncle. He even apologized to me.”

“He did?”

“Well, he slipped me a note in AB History that said ‘sorry.’”

“That’s it?” Katara throws her hands up, a huff slipping past her lips. “Aang, you can’t be serious about this. He hit you and mocked you for an entire year, and I thought he was going to kill you during the Bender Tournament. Do you really think it’s a good idea to be within bending distance at a bonfire, where he will very easily have the upper hand?”

Shrugging, Aang carries his gaze across the cafeteria to a two-seater booth in the back corner where Zuko’s currently sitting, nose buried in some novel with a fire bender and a water bender on the front. Katara and Sokka follow Aang’s gaze, and Sokka unconsciously sighs, dropping his chin in his palm as his eyes drink in Zuko’s hunched over posture and his soft, intrigued eyes.

“I just think he’s different,” Aang says, adding, “for real this time. Maybe he’ll make some better friends if he comes tonight. I think it will be good for him.”

“That’s the spirit!” Sokka pries his gaze back toward Aang, pushing forth a wide, toothy smile as he leans across the table to clap Aang on the shoulder. “We’ll meet you there!” He makes to stand, to return his tray and sneak in some quick studying before his next class, but Katara reaches out, digging sharp fingers into his wrist, and he pauses, frowning.

“Katara?”

“If he so much as looks at Aang the wrong way tonight, I’ll wash him all the way back to the fire nation.”

“Noted,” Sokka says, swallowing thickly, and he tugs his wrist free and makes a beeline to the exit, completing forgetting the tray still in his hand.

***

“I just want to make sure I’m understanding everything clearly,” Zuko starts, one brow arching as he watches Sokka fling clothes out his dresser. “Your sister and Aang were… excited when you told them I was coming?”

They’ve gone through this four times now, and still, Zuko can’t seem to convince himself that Sokka’s story is valid, not even in the slightest. He crosses his arms and nudges a shirt off the edge of Sokka’s bed with his socked foot before drawing his knees to his chest, back resting against Sokka’s headboard.

“Okay, fine,” Sokka drags out, tone low and dramatic, one Zuko’s learned to know all too well. “Katara wasn’t happy about it.”

“And Aang?”

“Aang actually was the one who suggested it would be good that you come.”

Zuko can’t control the wince that pulls across his face, and for a brief moment, he’s lost in hot, burning memories shrouded in anger, frustration, and pain. He sucks in a slow, deliberate breath, one that swells coolly in his chest, and he exhales, breathing out the memory, leaving only the present right before his eyes.

“Why?” His voice cracks, and he clears his throat.

“It’s Aang,” Sokka says, tilting his head, studying Zuko’s posture and the way Zuko always makes himself look smaller than he is. “The kid’s got a heart of pure, unbreakable gold. The point is,” Sokka adds when Zuko remains passive on his bed, “you’re coming tonight. It’s going to be super fun, and I need you to stop pouting and help me pick out an outfit.”

“I wasn’t pouting,” Zuko grumbles as he slips off Sokka’s bed and starts nudging through a pile of clothes on the floor, fingers tightening around a long-sleeve navy sweater with an oversized collar that Sokka doesn’t wear nearly enough, in his opinion. He holds it up silently, and Sokka studies it, tilting his head from the left, to the right, index finger tapping at his chin.

“This could work,” he finally draws out. “Pair this with my black skinny jeans, and some converses, and I think I’ll look quite dashing.”

Zuko chokes back a laugh, trying, and failing miserably, to pass it off as a cough, and his cheeks burn a bright pink when Sokka claps a hand to his shoulder and offers a tight squeeze.

“Now, for you,” Sokka starts, slipping out of his room and down the small hall to Zuko’s room, “do you still have that red, long-sleeve Henley?”

***

Zuko grits his teeth through a small shudder as the chilly October breeze seems to slip right through his thin shirt. He should have grabbed his coat; he tried, but Sokka insisted that his outfit was perfect and that the coat would hide him too much. Still, he should have grabbed it anyway.

Regret feels cold now, and he digs his fingers into his arms and follows Sokka over to the large fire, politely declining a beer as he snags a lawn chair that’s pulled up pretty close to the roaring flames. He watches, amused, as Sokka strides from person to person naturally, but then he can feel a different kind of itching heat, and he pulls his gaze around until he locks eyes with Katara, who’s standing on the other side of the fire, glaring daggers at him. He holds her gaze, guilt coloring his eyes, and she suddenly jerks her gaze away with a low huff.

“Hey, Zuko!”

Jumping, Zuko whips a wild gaze to see Aang taking the seat beside him, an almost blinding smile painted across his lips.

“Aang…” He clears his throat. “Hey.”

“Glad you came!” Aang drops his hand on Zuko’s arm, his smile faltering, and Zuko wants to jerk his arm away, to shrink away from the sudden, blaring look of concern etching over Aang’s face.

“Um, are you okay?”

“Of course,” Zuko snaps, face falling almost immediately after the harsh words fly off his lips. “Sorry, yes. I’m fine.”

“You’re shaking.”

Frowning, Zuko spares a glance down to see that he is, in fact, trembling softly. Beside him, Aang hops to his feet.

“I think someone has some blankets in the bed of their truck. I can get you one—”

“It’s fine,” Zuko spits out a little too quickly, halting Aang mid-step. “I mean, I’m fine. There’s no need.”

“You sure?” Aang’s hesitant, worry twisting ever-so faintly in his gut.

“I’m sure,” Zuko meets Aang’s gaze, and they stay like that, silent, for just a moment, before he’s the first to break away when he hears someone drop into a chair on the other side of him. “Thank you, though.”

“Of course,” Aang says quietly, gesturing over his shoulder. “I’ll just be… around. I really am glad you came tonight.”

Zuko nods, and his tense, squared shoulders slowly ease-up and unclench as Aang smiles and darts off toward a group of freshmen who seem to be far too confused and underdressed for an upper level bonfire.

He nudges his chair a little closer to the fire, an almost dangerous distance if he weren’t a fire bender, and he turns and falls into idle chatter with the person to his left, a freshman, he quickly learns, inquiring about FB 101.

***

“Sokka,” Aang elbows through a group of students surrounding Sokka, who’s mid-story about some absurd trip he and Katara took when they were in junior high. “Sokka!” he tries again, louder, muttering apologies as he slips toward the center, stumbling into Sokka’s side.

“Aang!” Sokka shouts, draping a heavy arm over Aang’s shoulder. “You guys, Aang is the most talented little dude. He’s literally the Avatar! I can’t believe I’m best friends with the Avatar!”

Aang smiles sheepishly at the shouts and catcalls that follow, and he slips away from Sokka’s heavy arm, latching onto it, instead, with strong fingers. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Well,” Sokka draws out, voice sloppy, drunken, “of course you can! Ladies and gentlemen, we shall continue this later!” He stumbles as Aang all but drags him away from the crowd, swaying and staggering all the way to a tree a little way away from the bonfire.

“Yo, Aang, what’s up?”

“I think you should take Zuko back to the dorms.”

“Why?” Sokka whines, blinking slowly. “He was just here.” He looks around, head heavy on his neck. “He’s having the time of his life. ‘S totally good for him here. He’s making tons of friends.”

“It’s not that,” Aang presses, gnawing at his bottom lip. He physically turns Sokka until they are both facing the bonfire, and Aang points toward Zuko, who’s standing frightening close to the fire, bouncing on the balls of his feet and rubbing his hands up and down his arms.

“Zuko’s fire nation, Sokka. I know it’s not that cold for us, but he’s freezing. He was already shivering when you guys got here, and it’s been three hours already.”

All at once, Sokka sobers up, forcing the alcohol that dulls his senses down to the very bottom of his stomach, and he frowns, brows furrowing, as he stares hard at Zuko. “I didn’t realize—”

“Not you fault,” Aang mutters distracted by the warm, tight, constricting hand of concern tugging at his chest. “Just… he really needs to be taken back. I took FB Analysis II. Their bodies don’t process lower temperatures because of their hotter climate. It can be dangerous…”

Sokka doesn’t stand around to hear more, already making his way toward Zuko, footsteps fast, fearfully deliberate, and in seconds, he’s at Zuko’s side, a guilty smile tugging at the corners of his lips when he gets a good look at Zuko’s pale face, paler than normal standards, and the tight clench of his jaw as if he’s physically trying to keep his teeth from chattering.

“Hey, Zuko. I’m beat. You ready to head back?” He goes for a casual route, knowing that Zuko will argue if he mentions they are leaving for Zuko’s sake and not of his own accord.

“It’s still a l-little early,” Zuko says, and Sokka doesn’t miss the small stutter.

“Yeah, too much alcohol makes me go all weird in the head. Not something I’m ready to unbag today.” He nudges Zuko’s arm, and Zuko holds his gaze, the two sharing a silent conversation despite the noise around them, and, after an endless minute, Zuko breaks the gaze with a nod.

“If you’re ready.”

Smiling, Sokka briefly slips away to say his goodbyes, and just minutes later, he and Zuko are starting on the five minute walk back to the dorms, the loud sounds of the party becoming nothing more than faint chatter and music in the distance the farther they walk.

Sokka stays close to Zuko’s side, eyes entranced as Zuko passes a small ball of fire from one palm to the other, the glow illuminating the cloudy puffs of breath in the cold air.

“That doesn’t burn your hands?” He finally asks, mentally wishing he opted for an interdisciplinary track so he could have taken more fire bending courses.

“It could,” Zuko says quietly. “But we’re trained to listen to how our skin reacts to the heat.” He drops the small ball of flames into his right palm and holds it there. “I can instantly feel the heat coat my palm, but it’s not unpleasant. I can hold it like this,” he pauses, raising his hand up a little higher, “until an almost icy prickle begins to stab at my skin. That’s when I know it’s been enough.” He brings his hand into a fist, extinguishing the flame, before he crosses his arms once more, absently rubbing his hands up and down to utilize the lingering heat from the fire.

Sokka drapes an arm around Zuko’s shoulders, playing it off as an easy gesture when really, he wants to offer Zuko as much warmth as he can the remainder of their walk. Worryingly, Zuko doesn’t scoff and pull away. Rather, he leans into Sokka’s side with a small shudder, and Sokka only tightens his arm.

“I’m glad you came tonight. Though, I’m sorry I vetoed the coat.”

Zuko huffs out a laugh that molds into a hiss as a chilly breeze slips across the two. “Nothing a hot shower won’t fix.”

“I give you full permission to take all of the hot water tonight.”

“Good,” Zuko says, a small smile creeping at his lips. “Because I wasn’t going to ask.”

***

Though the shower helped bite the edge of the cold off, Zuko still feels chilled through, even after standing under borderline scolding hot water for the better half of thirty minutes. He’s quick to change into something warm, a long-sleeve, thermal night shirt and a pair of sweat pants, and he snags Sokka’s hoodie off the back of his desk chair when he spots it, slipping it over his head as he walks into the living room.

He spots two mugs of steaming tea on the coffee table, and he eases himself onto the couch, craning his neck to see Sokka popping a back of popcorn in the microwave.

“Movie night?” He calls out, and Sokka whips around, a wide smile pulling at his lips.

“Figured since it’s still early, we could watch something. Your pick.” Sokka stops in front of the couch, head tilting, as he takes in Zuko’s still too pale skin. “How was your shower?”

“Fine,” Zuko says, swallowing back the urge to flinch when Sokka brings a hand up to his face. He closes his eyes, his mind pulling toward a war with the heart that’s thumping rapidly in his chest, but then Sokka just rests a warm palm to his cheek, and he almost reaches up to hold it there.

But, far too quickly, Sokka jerks his hand away, and it isn’t until the rather colorful string of cuss words that follow that Zuko opens his eyes, frowning.

“What—”

“You literally feel like a block of ice.” Sokka storms across their dorm suite, snagging blankets from both bedrooms, stopping at the thermostat on the wall twice.

“Sokka—”

“This is literally all my fault. I thought you looked way hotter without the coat, and now you feel like a fucking corpse.”

Hotter… Zuko’s eyes grow wide, but Sokka doesn’t seem to realize the true extent of any word currently slipping from his rapid tongue. He only blinks when Sokka drops both blankets on top of him, and he struggles to free himself from the tangled mess.

“Sokka, I’ll be fine.”

“You’re damn right you will,” Sokka snaps, slipping onto the couch and tugging Zuko until Zuko’s back is flush against his chest. “Because I will make sure of it.” He fumbles with the blankets, struggling to pull both over and around the two, and all the while, Zuko can’t seem to remember how words work, that he’s supposed to use some combination of his tongue, mouth, and vocal chords to produce sounds that form words.

After a few minutes of breathless rustling, Sokka’s content, rubbing his hands up and down Zuko’s arms from behind him, and Zuko’s stiff as a board, too afraid to move.

“Sokka, this isn’t necessary.”

“Are you starting to feel warmer?”

Zuko open’s his mouth to argue further, but at the question, he closes it. He still feels cold, colder than he’s felt in a while, but underneath the ice, he can feel a faint brush of warmth that’s threatening to crack the ice. Without really meaning to, he relaxes against Sokka’s chest, and he nods.

“Yeah, actually, I am.”

“Then,” Sokka mutters, “it’s necessary.”

[tommybaholland]

Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!

somebody, some body

featuring: sugawara 

goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!

you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?

when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy. 

one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool. 

so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game. 

he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.

that was something you could never take for granted with him. 

the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously. 

are you alive?? 

yeah i’m awake, unfortunately

what do u want sugar-wara 

whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok

let’s go get sweet buns before class

ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara

okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15 

there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle. 

“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”

he was always so peppy in the mornings. 

“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”

“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.” 

he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right. 

“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”

“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”

 there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously. 

“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.” 

“wow, that’s great!” 

“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.” 

“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”

“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”

“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.” 

“you never let me down!” 

 his smile never let you down. 

it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.

“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.

“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”

“i...what?”

“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”

“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”

“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”

“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”

if only they knew that they were so lucky. 

you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing. 

to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them. 

and guess what?

you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them. 

at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all. 

-

the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood. 

it’s ur turn now. are u alive??

i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol 

also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<

you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started. 

hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it

you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing. 

haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?

also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??

it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes. 

yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol 

wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??

i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus 

well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though 

thank you i hope its going well 

that conversation was truly the end of the beginning. 

Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more. 

it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would. 

the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement. 

you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part. 

oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :) 

you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid? 

you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to. 

no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now 

was it okay though? 

that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.

isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true? 

-

two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news. 

going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on 

WAIT you guys made it official?? when?

haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now 

oh well that’s great! 

(what the actual hell.)

months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore. 

you had your priorities and suga had his. 

which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared. 

sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?

we lost :’(( we were so close too 

oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!

he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him. 

summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect. 

Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?

you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.

to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him 

Okay awesome thanks!

what were you thinking of getting him?

Deathnote lol nothing original

hmm maybe the new aot volume? 

Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA

yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him? 

Yeah could you? 

yeah sure!

Yay thanks! 

okay i’ll let you know what i find out

going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out. 

but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating. 

that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious. 

in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month. 

but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him. 

your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life. 

but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.

snapchat from sugar wara  

you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”

and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!” 

it felt strange, but you finally admitted it, 

you were in love with koshi sugawara. 

timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to. 

you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way? 

stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon. 

you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him? 

you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.

sugar wara is typing…

snapchat from sugar wara

yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(

me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P

is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals? 

we've been trying to get all the support that we can

plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :) 

yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!

 wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?

they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago

i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay

your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet. 

oh no i'm sorry kou :(

you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.

wdym you initiated it tho?

so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata 

rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once

it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals

yeah i'm sure it's been difficult 

but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)

thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much

although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings? 

it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.

-

it was the friday before the finals game. 

you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months. 

you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-

“y/n! hey, wait!”

you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team. 

“hey! funny seeing you here.”

“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”

“yeah.”

“can i walk with you?”

“of course.”

great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”

“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”

“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”

“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”

“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.” 

you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.

“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”

“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.

“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“yeah. yeah!”

“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”

he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.

“hey, y/n?”

“yeah, kou?”

he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.

“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”

“yeah, i missed you, too.”

“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”

“you, you what?”

“i really like you, sugar.”

in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.

“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”

“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”

“but why are you telling me this now?”

“do you-- do you not feel the same?”

“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.

“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”

you looked at him in disbelief.

“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”

“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”

“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious. 

“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi. 

your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there. 

-

you didn’t get much sleep that night. 

it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most. 

you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it. 

the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it. 

he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top. 

suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success. 

the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up. 

the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.

it was you. 

“c’mon suga! You can do it!”

and so he did. 

once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory. 

after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair. 

you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.

“y/n!”

you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first. 

“hey, kou.”

“hey, sugar.”

another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him. 

heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..

[an-absolute-travesty]

Secret Santa fic!

Heya @all-eternity it was me all along! I hope you enjoy this :) very much looking foward to actually being able to follow you after this without looking sketchy lmao

Also shoutout to my lovely beta reader @keepersandqueens as if I don’t talk about Salas enough here lol

Warnings: underage drinking, drinking in general, hangover, drugs/medication mention (not abused, basic over the counter stuff dw), mentions of vomit (not described)

Pairings: Kam, background marelinh, ex titz

About: Kam coffee shop college au 

Word count: 5,205

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added or removed): @cadence-talle @ruewen-and-rising @lemontarto @a-lonely-tatertot @clearlyvacksen @percabetn @sewersewersewercouch @everyonehasthoughts @imaramennoodle @enbies-and-felonies @blxckh0les42​ @rainbowtay-11 @callas-starkflower-stew @impostertamsong @appalyneinstitute1 @stars-and-splendor @anna-without-an-e @mistythegenderqueermess @we-have-no-bananas-today @we-wont-dissapear @jadenightthewriter

Tam stumbled into his first 8 am class, anxiety making his heart feel like it was pounding out of his chest and stomach doing backflips.

If he could survive bouncing between foster homes, a short stint at juvie, and worst of all high school, he could survive college.

Well he thought he could until he saw a familiar person right next to the only available chair in the room.

God fucking damn it.

"Hey Bangs Boy!" Keefe waved him down, causing a scene. Tam had no option but to sit beside him, both because of the lack of chairs and the fact that everyone was now staring at him.

Not a great start.

"What a coincidence! I notice you still haven't taken my suggestions on your hair, I'm telling ya' you'd get all the girls and or guys and nonbinary pals with a man bun." Keefe looked smug at the fact he'd be able to taunt Tam for another semester, minimum. Tam was already making a mental note to check when he could swap out of classes.

"Keefe, if I knew you were going here I would've just gotten myself back in jail, oh wait, you were the one who got me in there in the first place." Tam shot him a look, praying that he'd suddenly develop superpowers and shoot lasers from his eyes.

"Hey, just because I came up with the idea...and helped with some of the execution, doesn't mean I'm responsible for you trashing your parents house. Besides, you were only in there for like 3 days max before you got out," Keefe said, shrugging as if 3 days in jail was no biggie.

"Most peaceful 3 days of my life," Tam sneered, turning back to the front of the room as the professor walked in.

"Good morning class!" the prof turned to the white board, writing his name. "I am Dr. Harding," he tapped it for emphasis.

The class was silent.

"And you say good mor..."

"Good morning Dr. Harding," The class said in unison, they all sounded tired and bored.

This wasn't going to be fun.

~*~

"Grande ice vanilla latte for...Hen-are-y?"

The man shot Keefe a look as he grabbed his coffee.

"Henry." He dropped a tip in the jar, fifty cents. How generous.

He had come in before, and never left good tips. Keefe made it a game to pronounce the names of anyone who wasn't a college student and left bad tips wrong, no matter how much they came in. It was a wonder he hadn't been fired yet.

As he turned preparing another drink, the bell at the top of the door rang. He ignored it at first until he heard a quiet, "Fuck," come from behind.

"Bangs boy!"

"Why are you here?"

"I work here obviously," Keefe walked up to the counter. "Now, what'll it be?"

Tam sighed. "Iced caramel macchiato with two extra shots of espresso."

"Size?"

"Venti."

Keefe whistled thinking about how much caffeine that was as he wrote down "Bangs Boy" on the cup.

"Alright, that'll be 5.75, may I ask why the insane amount of coffee? I believe I remember you saying caffeine makes you anxious in high school."

"Yes, but it also helps me focus, and I have a quiz tomorrow I haven't studied for."

"Fair enough," Keefe said, going to prepare the drink. "It'll be ready in five."

Tam nodded, walking off to the side and scrolling on his phone. Keefe made the drink, occasionally sneaking looks over at Tam. He didn't seem to notice, thank God.

Soon after, they finished the transaction.

"See you at class," Keefe said, he was trying to be genuine, but it came across more taunting.

Tam grimaced, muttered "Thanks for the coffee," and walked out the door.

~*~

The class fell silent as a disheveled Dr. Harding walked in, a pack of gatorade in one hand and bottle of tylenol in the other. He popped one as he sat down.

"Hello class it seems today I have the worst headache imaginable, just give me about 5 minutes of silence and we will go over your assignments."

Keefe leaned over to Tam's desk.

"Well, we know what he got into last night," he whispered. "Heard the bar on the corner of 5th was giving out two for ones for professors."

"Isn't that place run by the alumni?"

"Exactly. Gotta thank Alvar tomorrow, Fitz said it was his idea."

"Wait Fitz goes here too? Why did I not-"

"Boys!" Dr. Harding practically yelled. "I am tired of the racket." He put his face in his hands where his elbows rested on the desk, bald spot showing to the world.

"We were whispering!" Keefe made a 'what the hell' sort of gesture. Tam glared at him, hoping he could communicate 'I will kill you myself if you say another word' with just his eyes.

"Sencen, do I look like I care?"

Keefe winced a bit at the use of his last name. That was something Tam could understand.

"Look, boys," Dr. Harding stood up and turned to the chalkboard, writing something down. "If you all like talking so much, you'll love this next project."

He walked to the side, revealing the board, that read '10 page essay, due the 25th'

"With the person next to you, you'll be writing a 10 page essay on um...the importance of keeping your oil changed in your car. You'll then present it to the class. It's worth 25 points."

A student raised their hand.

"Luka?"

"Sir, I thought this was a psychology course?"

"It is. You are all excused."

With that, he left the room with his tylenol and gatorade in his arms. The students glared at Keefe and Tam as they all got up, muttering amongst themselves about the pure bullshittery of it all.

"So..." Keefe said, slowly standing. "Does the library tomorrow at 3 work? I have work until then, so it can't be any earlier."

"Yeah, sure." Tam promptly walked out of the classroom as fast as possible, he didn't know why but his anxiety was spiking. He tried to tell himself it was just because he was a useless gay that didn't know jackshit about cars, yeah, surely that was it.

Just a useless gay.

~*~

Tam waited at a table in the library, it was 3:05, Keefe was late.

He didn't know what else he expected from him, he always seemed to do stuff like this. At the same time, Tam didn't have the energy to be particularly mad at him. This was going to be the stupidest essay ever written in the history of man, might as well put it off.

The library door slammed open, and in came Keefe. He balanced a large stack of papers and books along with four drinks. He stumbled over to Tam and practically threw them down on the table.

"Sorry I'm late, I thought it would be nice to, like, get you a coffee, but I didn't know how much caffeine you wanted, so I got one decaf caramel macchiato, one normal, and one with an extra shot, and also hot chocolate for me."

He sat down in the chair by Tam, as if getting three different coffees for someone you were forced to do a project with was totally normal.

"Um...thanks, I-I can pay you back-"

"Don't worry about it." Keefe turned to him and smiled, bright and friendly. Tam was frozen. "Okay, now it's car time." Keefe turned back to the desk.

"Yeah."

They were silent for a while as they researched, Keefe going through his piles of papers and books and Tam on his laptop like any sane person would.

Tam finally worked up the nerve to talk.

"So um...this is out of nowhere, but I think you mentioned Fitz went here?"

"Oh, yeah." Keefe put down the absurdly large textbook that was set up in front of him. "He's my roommate, he uh thought it would be best not to tell you after everything, I guess."

"That's fine," Tam shrugged like he didn't care. "I'm over it."

He was, really. They only dated like 2 weeks, sure it ended with a...pretty big fight after Fitz claimed he wouldn't be able to date someone who had gone to jail and Tam reminded him it was his best friend that got him in there in the first place, but he was still over it. There was still something bothering him, nothing to do with Fitz himself but...something. He just couldn't put his finger on what.

"Alright, I'll take your word." Keefe shrugged, setting his giant book back up in front of him.

Tam felt the need to start talking again, but didn't. They were mostly silent for the next 40 minutes or so, just researching and the occasional word exchanged between them.

Keefe checked his phone.

"Shit," He got up. "Work emergency, I gotta go. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah that works."

"Chill, see ya' later."

"Bye."

Keefe waved (with a wide grin Tam would've called idiotic in high school) as he went out the door.

Tam found himself with a smile on his own face, he quickly stopped, hoping no one saw.

~*~

Keefe hurried into work, pulling his apron on as he saw the absurdly long line and a panicked Marella frantically making coffees behind the counter. She sighed with relief when she saw him.

"Thank God," She said as he stepped behind the counter with her. "There was a scheduling error, Forkle's useless at that stuff."

Mr. Forkle, their well-meaning but often mistaken manager, was out of town at the moment. The fate of the Starbucks rested on two college kids, what could go wrong.

And so they went, Keefe taking orders and Marella fulfilling them until there were no more to serve.

Marella, quite literally, threw in a towel she had wiped her face with. Promptly going to the back, presumably for her break. Keefe followed her.

"Alright, I think you can probably go back to whatever you were doing before this now if you'd like," said Marella, inspecting the small braids in her hair in the nearest shiny surface.

"Nah I was just doing a project with Tam for Harding's stupid class, he's probably left by now, I might as well rack up some overtime."

Marella turned back at him, clearly caught off guard at the name.

"Tam? As in my-girlfriend's-brother Tam? As in you-had-a-massive-crush-on-in-highschool Tam? As in dated-Fitz Tam? As in you-got-him-in-jail-"

"Yes! Yes! Why does everyone remind me of that, it was one time."

"When you get someone in jail, people tend to remember," Marella went silent for a second, thinking, before looking Keefe in the eye. "Wow, that must be awkward as hell, I mean seriously, if I were you I'd straight up file a restraining order just to avoid him. Maybe move to another country. I hear Estonia is lovely this time of year."

"Eh, it's not as bad as it seems. I mean it was awful at first, mostly because I tried to resume right where we left it on the taunting front, but I think it's ok now."

"Hm. Well good luck with that," Marella turned back to go to the front, but Keefe grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Uh, actually I need your advice on something. It has to do with Tam."

"Shoot."

"Well I was thinking of maybe, I don't know, asking him out or something? Look, yeah, it's an awful idea but is it 'he never wants to talk to me again' awful or 'he attempts to strangle me' awful?"

Marella looked him up and down, eyes uncomfortably cold, as usual.

"I mean, no hetero, but despite your annoying qualities you're a decent looking guy. Plus Tam's, like, super anxious according to Linh, so maybe he'll be too awkward to say no. You can probably squeeze at least one date in there."

"Wow, thanks Mare," Keefe mumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, I try. Also don't call me Mare."

"Alright Ella!" Keefe called as the front door's bell rang, signalling a new customer. Marella went off to take care of it, unable to respond she growled back at him.

~*~

Tap tap tap tap tap.

Tam glared from across the table.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

Keefe looked up, muttered a simple "Fidgety" and went right back to it, tapping his pen against the table. Tam said nothing more.

Keefe had been quiet for this entire meeting, something highly unusual for him.

"Ok, seriously dude, what's up? I haven't seen you this quiet literally ever."

He only seemed to get more fidgety at this question, his bouncing leg shaking the library table.

"I...um..." he looked down, running a hand through his hair "I have a test I need to cram for and no one to study with and keep me accountable. Y'know, ADHD issues."

Tam didn't overthink for once in his life but the moment the sentence was out of his mouth he regretted it.

"I have a test too, maybe we could study together?"

Keefe smiled his annoyingly charming smile.

"Sounds good."

"Good."

Tam quickly looked back down at his computer, trying to look like he was still doing car research when in actuality he was processing he just actively offered to spend more time with Keefe Sencen.

If Linh found out about this he'd never live it down.

He didn't think he cared.

~*~

Dr. Harding walked through the classroom door, clearly much less hungover than his last appearance.

The students waited, would they get an apology? Any sort of remorse?

"Alright, who wants to read first?"

Apparently not.

Keefe raised his hand with too much confidence for what their essay looked like. Tam gave him a confused look. He had his scheming face on, never good.

"Mr. Sencen!" Keefe winced at the use of his last name by the doctor. "What an amazing start, it's only appropriate. One of you boys come up and present."

Tam gave Keefe a look of 'do you want me to do it?' Keefe just smiled and got up from his chair. This would either be really good or really, really bad. Tam was all too familiar with the scheme face.

"Doc, I did depart from the source material a bit here, hope you don't mind. And I use 'I' because Tam had no involvement in this, he deserves full points for his essay."

Keefe cleared his throat, the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Doctor Harding deserves to get fired: an essay. (And it's only been a week!) Paragraph one, his drinking problem-"

"Sencen! Back to your seat now. I will see you after class, or I will not see you in my next class, understand?"

Keefe gave a thumbs up as he sat back on his chair with a thud.

A few minutes later, in the middle of another student's essay, he passed Tam a note with his loopy handwriting.

"The amount of comebacks I had for 'see me after class' is absurd but if I get kicked out there's no way Elwin is helping me pay tuition a second time."

Tam tried not to smile, certainly failing, as he wrote his response.

"Yeah I think the time you talked back to Miss Cadence she wanted to expel you. Lucky Principal Alina had a thing for pseudo-dad Alden."

"Oh God I haven't talked to him in a whiiiiiile."

"?"

"You haven't heard? Yeah, he sorta found out like ALL his kids were ell gee bee tees and freaked out. Della found herself a new gf though!"

"Sounds like a lovely extra punch in the gut for a queerphobe."

"Yep. Honestly I recommend looking through his Facebook sometime. Just a million rants about how the gays destroy everything, great entertainment."

"Duly noted."

At that point it seemed like the doctor started to take notice of their note passing, and they stopped quickly. Tam wouldn't be surprised if he did the whole high school read in front of the class thing with the way he had been acting so far.

Tam was 100% sure tenure was the only thing keeping this guy's job intact. Apparently being a drunk asshole wasn't near enough to get a person out of their position. He tried to ignore the professor's annoyingly smug face for the rest of the class.

~*~

Keefe sat in his usual spot at the library, Tam sitting across from him, his brown eyes dancing across the textbook page and lips mumbling along the words. He didn't have much to do, often finding himself just staring at Tam, quickly looking away if he seemed to notice.

Eventually he sighed, sitting back.

"Ugh, this test is in a week and I have so much other crap to do, I'll never get this all memorized by Friday."

Keefe silently thanked his brain for managing to get around the having to study thing. Yay, photographic memory!

"Oh, uh, well I'm free to study more tomorrow if that would help? We could do, like, flashcards or something."

Tam seemed to repress a smile. He did that a lot. Keefe always noticed.

"That's okay, I'm sure you have better things to do. The Starbucks is always pretty packed."

"Eh, sometimes you have to get away from Marella. She's mean to me."

"Not just you, once she told me if I ever made fun of Linh's cat's name again she'd make me cut off my own bangs."

Keefe nodded sagely. "The shorter you are the closer to hell. That's why you're worse than her."

"Hey!"

Tam flicked a stray rubber band at Keefe.

"I'm at least 2 inches taller than Marella...we measured."

Keefe thought up about 12 inappropriate jokes he couldn't make before flicking the rubber band back.

"Two inches only counts in roller coasters, none of which you can ride."

Tam stuck his tongue out before returning to his studies. Unlike Tam, Keefe didn't hide his smile.

~*~

Tam strolled into the Starbucks that Friday morning, no longer surprised to see Keefe working the counter. He could barely hold still in line as he thought about the amount of cramming he'd have to do in the next few hours.

When he reached the counter, Keefe said nothing, just busily worked making a drink.

He stuck it right out at Tam.

"One venti iced caramel macchiato with 2 extra shots of espresso because you have a test today in political science and still haven't studied everything and also a muffin because you probably haven't eaten today. On the house. Good luck with the studying."

Tam froze.

"I- um- th-thaks. Y-you too...sport."

Oh, you fucking idiot.

He quickly scurried out of the Starbucks with drink and muffin in hand. Wow, he had screwed that up.

But...

Keefe...

He...

He remembered his order and that he had a test and that he forgot to eat when he was stressed holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-

Okay, deep breaths Tam, you got this. You can totally handle a frustratingly cute guy showing care for you this is fine...

Not fine, not fine, gotta tell Linh.

He called Linh with no forewarning. Despite the fact that she was currently across the country at a different university, and it was about 3 am for her, she picked up. He barely let her get out a groggy "Hello?" before explaining everything. She only seemed to think a moment before responding.

"Hm. Well it's good to know that college is going good for you. Do you need advice or comfort?"

"Yes."

"Well, first of all, everything's gonna be okay. And I know that doesn't help much but just try to remember we're eighteen, and it's not the end of the world. Second of all, try to ask him out or something. It doesn't have to be framed as a date, like Marella and I got together on a walk in the park, seriously it can be anything."

"Thanks Linh."

"No problem, also can you hug Marella for me?"

"If she doesn't try to kill me first, yes."

"Nice. Okay go do what you gotta do, also don't wake me up at 3 am again or else I'll sic Purryfins on you, I had just gone to bed."

With that she hung up and Tam continued on his way, still trying to not completely freak out.

~*~

Keefe stared blankly as Tam walked right out of the door. Marella appeared by his arm.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Well, he called me 'sport'."

Marella inhaled through her teeth.

"Yikes. Comfort, advice, or distraction?"

"Distraction, please." Keefe replied, absent-mindedly preparing a cup for the next customer.

"Uh, well I meant to ask you what ended up happening with that ass of a teacher, but I got a bit distracted at your attempt to woo Tam-"

"Hey I said distraction not reminder. But basically I just got a slap on the wrist because, and I quote, 'Your father is Cassius Sencen! He wrote half the books we use in this class, I'm sure he can straighten you out!'"

"There's absolutely nothing papa Sencen could do to make you straight, I'm pretty sure he tried that, and it obviously didn't work."

"He actually tried a few times and it most definitely did not. Lucky he doesn't have my number anymore or else I assure you he'd keep trying."

Marella laughed.

"Well, moving on from grade A assholes, I'm supposed to tell you there's a party tonight. I'll have to send you the address later, I have it on my phone though, I am told there's gonna be booze, so I'm going."

"Eh, I'll probably go. Just to get my mind off everything."

"Thata boy." She lifted her phone. "And my shifts over in three, two, one, and I am out of here! See ya' tonight Hunkyhair."

"That's Lord Hunkyhair to you."

She just rolled her eyes and clocked out, leaving Keefe to deal with both the customers and his own thoughts.

~*~

Tam sat in his dorm room alone, constantly refreshing his grades for the possibility that his 70-year-old professor would post the test results at 1:30 am.

His roommate was gone for the weekend, actually he was gone most of the time. Tam didn't think they'd even had a full conversation before.

He jumped as his phone began to ring, a call from Keefe of all people. He hesitantly picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Tam! Tam Tam Tam Tam Tam" Keefe's slurred speech was too loud for a phone call, Tam held his phone a bit away from his ear. "...fuck wait why did I call you..."

There was a long pause, neither said anything.

"Oh yeah! I needed to tell you something...but uh I uhm I forgot what it was."

"Keefe, where are you?"

"At a paaaaaarty, well, actually just outside a party because it was hot in there, but now it's cold out here so uh yeah."

Tam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, send me the address, I'm coming to pick you up. Wait right there and don't move."

"Okie dokie."

Tam heard a thud sort of sound and the rustling of grass from the other line before Keefe hung up and soon after got a message of his location.

After 20 minutes of walking in the cold, Tam came up to what seemed to be a frat house with Keefe sitting on the lawn in criss-cross, patiently waiting in short sleeves and basketball shorts, way too little clothing for the weather. His ruddy face smiled as he saw Tam approach.

"Tam! I remembered what I was going to tell you." He stood up, face falling right after. "Oh no wait I forgot again. Ooh! You need a drink."

Keefe grabbed Tam's hand, pulling him towards the house. Tam stayed in place.

"Hey, let's get you home dude."

Keefe pouted.

"I don't wannaaaa."

He slouched down, pulling on Tam's arm like a child having a tantrum.

Tam pulled him back up to his feet.

"C'mon, if you go to your dorm without fuss I'll buy you ice cream tomorrow."

Keefe seemed much more ok with going along with Tam with the ice cream deal. He pulled off his own coat and placed it around the very drunk boy, he didn't complain.

Keefe began humming some annoying song from the early 2000s that was playing from the house earlier as they walked back in the direction of the dorms.

Suddenly, Tam remembered something.

Fitz was Keefe's roommate.

Shit.

"Hey uh do you think Fitz is at your dorm?"

Keefe nodded confidently.

"Yep! Said he was gon' study. Wouldn't come to the party because of his 'reputation' or whatever."

Around reputation he did exaggerated finger quotes, nearly knocking Tam's jacket off his shoulders.

"Hm...in that case let's go to my dorm, ok?"

Keefe shrugged, apparently willing to go along with most things in his current state. Thank goodness Linh had made Tam bring extra pillows and blankets to college, he could sleep on the floor and just hope Keefe didn't get sick on him in the night.

It was ridiculously hard to lead Keefe back to his dorm. He tried to pull down his pants halfway there and Tam almost had to carry him up the stairs but soon enough they got there. He sighed with relief as he led his inebriated friend into the room.

"Okay, you can stay here for the night. I'll sleep on the floor."

Keefe plopped himself down on Tam's bed laying flat for only a moment before sitting up with a snap and a look of realization in his eyes.

"OOH! I remember what I was gonna tell you again!"

"Oh?" Tam said playing along, expecting him to forget again.

He patted the spot next to him on the bed, Tam continued to play along, sitting next to him.

"So Marella said that I should just tell you this, and it worked for her, so I'm gonna. And uh and you have to promise to listen 'cause I'm not sayin' it again."

At this point Keefe grabbed his face with both hands, staring right in Tam's eyes and squishing his cheeks.

"You're listening right?"

Tam nodded, mostly to shake Keefe's hands off his face.

"Okay."

Keefe took in an over dramatic breath as if he was preparing to preform in the Olympics before getting another grin on his face.

"I really like you."

"You really like me?"

He nodded mumbling "mhm".

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I like you. Like, like like you."

"Like...as a friend?"

"I said I wasn't gonna repeat myself. As a booooyfriend." At this point Keefe fell back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Tam's cheeks were burning.

"How long have you liked me like that?"

"Mmmm..." Keefe seemed to ponder for a moment, "Prolly high school."

"Oh um...good to know. You should get some rest. I'll be down here if you need me."

"Alrighty."

Tam shut off the lights and Keefe started snoring quick. Tam could only stare up in the darkness, unable to sleep.

~*~

Keefe woke up that morning in a room he didn't recognize to a killer headache and dead phone.

He turned to the side, seeing a pile of blankets and pillows with a large gatorade, bottle of tylenol, and a note next to it. Suddenly last nights memories came flooding back.

Oh, shit.

He scrambled out of bed, headache and nausea hitting him harder as he stood up.

Despite the fact his head was spinning, he picked up the note from the ground and read it.

Hey, meet me at the reservoir around 6, we need to talk -Tam

F. U. C. K.

Had he really said all that stuff last night? Surely it was a dream, right?

Oh God.

He gathered his few belongings, plus the things to help the hangover, and left the dorms as fast as possible. Only having to stop once along the way to throw up in one of the campus trash cans, hopefully no one would notice.

Keefe didn't have anything to do and he really didn't want to face Fitz so he went about his day in last nights clothing. Then again, it was a college campus. Someone walking around with rumpled clothes carrying a gatorade probably wasn't that big of a deal for most people. By 5:30 he sat impatiently in the empty park where the reservoir was located, it was colder closer to the water.

Just as promised, at 6 o'clock he saw Tam approaching on the horizon.

~*~

Tam was damn near a panic attack as he walked around the park attempting to find Keefe. Eventually he found him, sitting on a bench still in his clothes from last night, face once again ruddy from the cold. He sat next to him wordlessly.

"So," Keefe started.

"So," Tam replied, looking down at his lap.

"Tam I-" Keefe turned to face him. "I'm sorry about everything last night, I probably just made everything super awkward. Not to mention it's a giant violation of the friend code to even have a crush on your best friend's ex-"

"Yeah, about that."

"What?"

"You're gonna maybe kill me for this but uh," Tam pulled on his bangs. "I sorta talked to Fitz about it, I figured you wouldn't and apparently I was right. He said he was okay with it as long as we were ok with it."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Tam sighed, "Perhaps."

Keefe once again wore that shit-eating grin of his.

"Can I hear you say it?"

"Why don't you have to say it?"

"Already said it last night! Your turn now. Why did you take care of me while I was drunk?"

Keefe stared at Tam excitedly waiting for the answer. Tam sighed.

"Because I love you, little shit."

"Ooh you said it-"

Tam smashed his lips against Keefe's, both quickly melting into it. After only a moment they pulled away.

"Agh, you taste like gatorade and vomit."

"Well you taste like salt so really what's worse."

"Definitely the vomit."

Despite this, Tam leaned back in. This kiss was a moment longer than the last, and when Tam pulled away Keefe chased it.

"Ok, look I'm sorry but you look like shit Keefe you have to go change." Tam removed his jacket, throwing it around Keefe once again and helping him up from the bench. Keefe laughed.

"Yeah, you're right. Ooh now that we're a thing you need a new nickname!"

"I do?"

"You do, how about 'Bangs Boyf' ooh or maybe you can be my 'provoked partner' or my 'snappy spouse' my 'agitated accomplice' perhaps."

"Do you just have these ready and prepared for any situation?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

"You aren't Houdini, you're an 18-year-old boy that currently reeks of frat party."

"Eh that's basically the same thing. I've seen some 18-year-olds at frat parties preform tricks Houdini could never dream of."

Tam sighed dramatically. "It's a good thing you're pretty, you know."

"Hey!" Keefe jokingly shoved him.

For the first time Tam's smile wasn't repressed.

[gisachi]

hmmm i'd like to see how desperate they can be. Kiss prompts #14 for shinran, maybee? thankyou 🤟

Thank you for the request! Wanted to do a trope and this is how it turned out. Hope this is an enjoyable read. 💖

14. A kiss so desperate that the two wind around each other, refusing to let go until they are finished. (2,374 words)

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In her seventeen years of existence, Mouri Ran has never met a person as infuriating as Kudou Shinichi.

She isn’t a particularly spiteful person. In fact, she’s always so welcoming and positive. Her well-earned reputation in school as the top of her class and her father and mother being one of the best detectives and lawyers in town do not in any way inflate her ego and turn her into an arrogant prick. If any, others spite her, never the other way around. (Though no one - ever - has brought it upon themselves to hate on the ray of sunshine that is Mouri Ran.)

As nice as she may be however, Kudou Shinichi always seems to get on her nerves.

Perhaps the only thing he inherited from the world-famous but humble Kudou Yuusaku and Fujimine Yukiko are their physical attributes. Sharp jawline, charming eyes, straight nose, pearly teeth, prominent Adam’s apple, broad shoulders, lean body…in short, fine. Good-looking. Hot maybe, yes. But she cannot let just that overshadow his absolute cockiness.

For instance, Ran is grateful for people who correct her mistakes, however seldom they may happen, but everytime Shinichi does it - in front of the class, brandishing a proud smirk at the end of it all - she feels the veins on her temple pop. She never cared at first, but when done habitually (and consciously?) by the same person, an underlying urge to punch him straight on the face arises. She knows she is nice but her patience isn’t eternal.

The rational half of her tells her to ignore him, but the petty half of her screams at her to give him a taste of his own medicine. So she revels inwardly at the hooded stare he gives her back whenever she contradicts a portion of his answer in Japanese History class, and restrains her satisfied grin when she corrects his negative integers into positives on the board during Math.

The class takes the toll in this twisted brain battle, because one-on-one debates between the top two students lead to extended fourth period and lesser lunch time. On the bright side, the lazy and unprepared don’t get to recite, so they let the two be.

Their academic tension spills even to athletics. Admittedly, he’s great at soccer, no surprise for an Ace. Her attempts at scoring a goal every time he gate keeps always end in failures, but what irks her more are the deafening screams of his fangirls behind the rails and his annoying wave like he’s some celebrity, beaming proudly like she hasn’t given him a hard time. (She hasn’t.)

But if he has soccer then she has karate. His powerful leg muscles are no match for her deadly roundhouse kicks. Shinichi has begged for his life once - when she has him pinned down between her legs on the floor in front of their classmates for a test of strength. Then he hasn’t brought that up ever again. That’s her win, not that she’s counting. (But really, that’s her win.)

He breathes, she’s annoyed.

When their gaze meets in the hallway, she is tempted to hold it and see if he’ll turn away first.

When he utters her name (“Mouri-san”, husky and sonorous), she wants to utter his back with twice the spite and snark. One that can bite. Tingle. Keep him up at night.

“Sometimes I wonder if you want to kill each other or kiss each other,” her best friend Sonoko brings up during lunch, and that’s just about enough to turn Ran’s mood into sour.

“I do not want to kiss him!” she reacts in a guilty way, and coincidentally they hear a resounding “I do not want to kiss her, barou!” along the corridor, only for Makoto and a grimacing Shinichi to appear on the door frame the next second, and their eyes meet, only to look away immediately.

“Maybe it’s you and Kyougoku-san who want to kiss each other,” Ran says bitterly, attempting to get back at her friend upon seeing her and Makoto exchange knowing glances.

“Mm, yeah maybe we do.” Sonoko grabs a bite of tamago sushi from her bento. Ran rolls her eyes.

“What? At least I’m being honest,” she chides, but Ran is already too engrossed glaring (rather salaciously, in Sonoko’s opinion) back at Shinichi to hear her or even notice her being an audience to their subtle eye makeout.

What do the other girls see in him? He’s a conceited, competitive brat who likes to pit with her for the fun of it. Sonoko says he’s not as annoying as she makes him out to be, which is about the only time she doubts herself because Sonoko does get annoyed easily. But Ran sees Shinichi in the hallway and she recalls the shameless bites and banters and sparring bruises and classroom debates and yep, her blood boils for this lad.

On Valentine’s Day, Ran makes chocolate.

More like, she helps her mother make one for her dad. For everyone’s sake and their stove’s. Since there are excess ingredients, why not? She doesn’t know for whom and why though, she just makes it.

(“Oh, you have a boy in mind?” “None, kaa-san.” “Let me guess, Yukiko-san’s son?” “NO!”)

She’s greeted by girls pooling outside the classroom. Sneaking a peek at the tag of a daintily wrapped box one of the underclassmen holds, she isn’t surprised to read Kudou Shinichi’s name on it. The subject appears behind her, and the girls line up and squeal in glee, and he greets them all while she huffs, not sparing a second look at the commotion as she makes a beeline for her seat.

She doesn’t understand why he always ends up alone with her after class when they both know that’s not the best idea. Their homeroom teacher just cannot read the atmosphere, because this is the third time he’s designated the two as class reps for student affairs work. This time, it’s a campus tour for visiting students. She hates it because she and Shinichi can never agree on anything.

“I’ll sketch the route, you do the tour,” she says.

“No, you do the hosting, I do the planning,” he counters.

“Aren’t you better at talking?” Ran sneers, remembering the chaos of fangirls and all annoying flowery words he’s probably said back. “Or don’t tell me it’s just the confidence and charm overcompensating for the lack of substance?”

“I can plan and I can host well, but I do the planning now ‘cause I did the talking in our presentation last time while you rested at the back and let me do the bulk of the task but thanks,” he rises from his seat and leans his body on the desk next to her, “for thinking that I’m charming.”

“I didn’t— I wasn’t—!” Ran’s cheeks heat up in fury or embarrassment or both. “I’m just saying this task is the best time to utilize your charisma!”

“But aren’t you charismatic yourself, Mouri-san? As expected from the daughter of a lawyer mother and a detective father?”

“No- I mean, yes, whatever, but we need charm and-”

“And I have it? What do I say? Is this your roundabout way of making me admit that you’re charming too?”

“I wouldn’t do anything like that, baka!”

He holds her challenging gaze, long and hard.

“In any case, I refuse. I plan the routes.”

“No, I plan the routes, you do the talk. No ifs. No buts.”

“This is just a simple assignment, Mouri-san! Why can’t we agree for once?” he snaps, stepping forward.

“Exactly! This is just a simple task, Kudou-kun! Why do you have to be so overbearing?” She steps forward.

“I am not overbearing. You are!”

“No, you are! You’re the hardest to deal with! I can’t even stand being near you! You’re the absolute worst! You’re—”

And then he’s hovering over her, sealing her lips shut with his own.

It happens lightning fast. He's in a respectful distance one second and then he’s hogged all her space and claimed her lips the next. Her heart rate has already gone up at the start of the bicker but now it’s literally flown off the charts.

“Kudou-kun—!” Ran gasps when her back hits the wall of the classroom, disconnecting their lips for a second. “I’m... not done...speaking—”

“And we’re not done kissing,” Shinichi angles his head for another searing kiss and that is enough to turn Ran into a puddle of melted flesh in his arms. Doomed they will be if students outside the window look up their floor and catch her back pressed suspiciously against the glass with his body the only thing keeping her upright. She can only pray they won’t. Because she doesn’t push him away.

Maybe she doesn’t care so much about being seen? Or maybe she doesn’t have the mind to think of anything else when his scent and his taste and his touch take over her senses and it still isn’t enough. This she realizes as her hands cup his warm cheeks to deepen the pressure of their connected lips, both red and swollen from the fiery mutual exchange. She kisses him with no intention of stopping. She kisses him like she’s making up for the moments her subconscious wanted to but didn’t. The tightening arms around her waist and desperate push of tongue in her are all she needs to understand that Shinichi must be thinking the same thing.

(“Mouri-san,” he sighs in her mouth. “Mm, Kudou-kun,” comes her lush reply.)

Only when she feels herself blacking out from lack of oxygen - or the fact that she feels hands untucking the hem of her school uniform from her skirt - does she unconsciously push his chest away, giving them an inch of space.

Stunned and breathless, they separate with the thought that what they share may have been too much for a first kiss. Achievers always aim for too much; anything less and they die. Too much is always too good.

For a first kiss, theirs is pretty characteristic.

“Huh.” She utters low. Any sound will do to kill the awkward silence that has stretched on for too long.

“Well.” He speaks, a little strained, but coughs his throat clear and gets himself together. “If you may...continue with what you’re saying, Mouri-san.”

For someone who’d just kissed her heatedly in an empty classroom in the middle of an argument and was so close to successfully getting his hands under her shirt, Ran is pretty impressed at how he manages to remain courteous in addressing her.

“Y-You’re the absolute worst,” arms still wrapped around his neck, she begins, but doesn’t remember what she’s supposed to say next. All coherent thought has flown out the window when his lips meet hers five minutes ago. She has no choice but to rely on the power of impromptu speech. Like Shinichi said, she’s good at that, kind of. He can probably hear her pulse palpitating on her wrist as she speaks.

“You’re...You’re such an airhead and you think so highly of yourself just because you have so many fangirls. Kuroba-kun or Hattori-kun from the other class are better and much more handsome than you, would you believe? You’re not the only charming guy in this school, Kudou-kun! And you don’t have to correct my flimsy academic mistakes in front of the class for a moment of schadenfreude, damn it! You annoy me to no end! I was this close to giving you my chocolate but good thing I didn’t because you know what? You’re annoying. Truly. You’re so full of yourself and I don’t like you for that and, y-you’re annoying and...and gods I hate you so much I’ll kiss you to death—”

She’s ready to tiptoe but his hands on her waist hold her still.

“What?!” she snaps, not sure where she’s more pissed at, the guy she’s about to kiss or the guy she’s about to kiss stopping her from kissing him again.

(A third option is herself but she’s already established her seething self-loathe when she chose to kiss him back.)

“I-I should be asking that, Mouri-san, what?” he stammers over her lips. “I... Give me your chocolate.”

Ran blinks, partly confused, partly surprised. She tries to comprehend how that is a proper response to whatever she just said (which by now, she’s already forgotten - or at least, in the process of forgetting).

“Give me your chocolate and I’ll eat it even though the chocolates I make with mom surely taste better but I’ll take what you made for me anyway. Don’t even get me started about how much I think it’s funny that you’re thinking about me as you make your chocolate, I mean, wow, there’s always that possibility, but still, wow. I-” he catches his breath, continues, “I’ll give you a better one on White Day. So please give me your chocolate.”

She doesn’t know what to make of the string of words that spew right out his mouth, but she can feel her face tightening to a grimace. Surely now, she knows she’s better at impromptu speech than him.

“You really expect me to give you my chocolate after you insult me? Wow, you really are an ass!” she shouts, as if she hasn’t mocked him the same.

“An ass who’s rejected every single chocolate given him except for one,” he says. His gaze locks her eyes, then her lips, then her eyes again. “And he’s even begging for that one chocolate, how ridiculous is that.”

Ran holds her breath, feels her face burn from his blazing irises.

“You don’t say-”

“I do say.”

His lips twist mischievously, too handsome for her heart to take.

“And you did say something else a while ago. Something equally interesting.” He cranes his head lower. “You said you hate me to death?”

Ran feels her toes tipping to balance.

“...Yes,” she lets go of his nape, hands sliding down to the plane of his chest and crumpling his shirt in her fists. “I hate you so, so much.”

“Oh by all means,” he leans in to swoop her lower lip gently between his teeth, smirks as he pulls it for a soft tug, “hate me all you want.”

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[antigoneidk]

Unexpectedly good| h.h.

summary: Getting out of your comfort zone isn’t as bad as it seems, getting to know strangers can be fun. Espesially cute ones.

words count: 3.2+

pairing: harry holland x writer!reader

warnings: none

a/n: this is my first time writing about Harry, but I thought why not? 

True love exists they say. You're seeing it all around you as you taking a walk around your neighborhood, you’re reading it through written words late at night sitting on your bedroom floor, you’re hearing through melodies while driving around the city.

But does it last forever?

You also notice people getting their hearts broken, couples married for decades separating their ways, fighting for things they thought they never would. You’re listening to your friends crying, or artists expressing this pain through paintings, poems, even movies with actors playing their roles really well, drifting everyone with their emotions. Promises, vows are getting broken.

And you can help those questions that are always running to your mind: if it doesn’t last forever,then why the hell do we bother with it? Why do we even dragging ourselves into these situations when we could easily just be alone and happy after all? If love means suffer, why do others are still falling in love?

It would never make sense. Are they dumb?

Maybe.

We’ve been taught from early years some rules.

Number one: always be kind to others around you.

Number two: listen to your parents.

Number three: find someone to love.

And is not that they told us to do with words, but somehow they showed us with their actions. Your dad would kiss your mother goodbye before work, or give her presents. Your mum would prepare a fancy dinner for him, usually to thank him for everything he’s done for their family. They would go on dates, spoil each other, “I love you"'s would be heard every now and then. Or after an argument they’ll fall asleep and the next day they’ll get up with smiles on their faces and a forgiving speech already made up.

“My parents are divorced.”

Are they single? No, at least one of then has moved on and met somebody to love.

And that is my point. They got their hearts broken once, why do they risk it for the second time?

“Hey are you okay?” the blonde girl asked next to you, clearly worried.

“Umm yeah? Why are you asking?”

“You have these weird expressions while you’re writing and you scared the shit out of us. Also I’m really curious to know what caused you this” your male friend sipped his iced coffee. You laughed at him closing your notebook leaving your pen inside it and copying his movements. The cold liquid felt hydrating.

“I don’t think you will any time soon baby" you placed your cup at the table. “And to be honest with you, nobody will"

“The disrespect! Girl, we’ve been here for the past two hours and this is the first time you're talking" her voice sounded serious at first, turning to more playful after. They both knew that you were an artistic soul, always with a pen in your hand ready to imprint your thoughts at a paper. Writing meant everything to your existence, the only getaway from the world.

“You need to be more confident with your writing y/n. You are talented and you keep wasting your talent away. Imagine how you can change the world with all your inspirational things you write for us, all of your creative stories that I have no idea how your mind is capable to think of them. And I'm not saying this because I'm your friend, this is my honest opinion”

“And some may say that you are just a hopeless romantic. But I am in awe with you and how you describe feelings that are so difficult to talk about.”

You smiled bright at your friends. “What did I do to deserve friends like you guys?”

“You were just lucky that we felt sorry for you that day at the library” he took your hands into his and turned to the girl next to you, that had wrapped her arms around your torso and had placed her head to your shoulder. “Do you remember how lonely she looked?”

“Ouch"you said moving your hand towards your heart playing it hurt. “Oh my Gosh, was I like this?”you asked biting your lip. It was your first year at a new busy town, with people that looked way cooler that you were, a lifestyle out of your comfort zone. Denying that you didn’t seemed lost would be a lie.

They both nobbed their heads laughing and you covered your face thinking how much you have changed the past few years and even though you still wokred with yourself, you had made progress there.

«I think we should go guys, it's getting late and I have work to do» the man of the group announced, Gigi next to you complaining that he just ruined her night for the dumbest reason «in history»

«Who goes home to do work? Have you lost your mind? Let's go get a drink» she turned to you «Is he crazy?»

«I mean he may have a reason»

«Are you siding with him now? Do you have a boyfriend and you just don't want us to know?»she leaned to his side wanting to learn more curious. Your friend was the person that wanted to know everything about the others, not because of the gossip, she wasn't like that. The reason behind it was that Gigi felt the need to protect her family and close friends from bad situations. And to do that, she pressured others just so they can help her create a picture about them, a guide for her that she might need in the future.

Noel on the other hand seemed more like incurious about his friend's private life. Not that he didn't care, but he would wait for the other with no pressure. He was there for who might needed his help, whenever they felt ready to open up. Lies was the only thing that he couldn't forgive. From anyone.

«I'm gonna kill this bitch I swear» he got up following you that you were already behind them giggling with them.

«You are so annoying Noel» Gigi grabbed you by the arms and made her way to the exit of the cute café you spent your afternoon at. You glanced back at him with curved lips but eyes drowning with tears of laughter, while he was getting up from his chair, laughing with his sweet laugh of his and looking around for things that you might have forgot.

«Oh I'm sorry» you heard your friend apologizing at the same time you crashed with her back. You turned your head at her ready to reassure her, before your eyes met a pair of brown ones.

«It's my fault I wasn't paying any attention» a blonde boy next to him apologized shyly.«Ladies first» they both stepped back making room for the both of you to make your way out. You took a look at the boy that caught your attention at first smiling shyly back at him when you noticed him doing the same. You held onto your friend tightly as you walked away, giggling with her quietly.

«Gigi what was that?» you asked after a while, being sure that none of them would here you.

«I have no idea» she said before slowing her step finally staying still in front of you. «But they looked cute» her eyes made their way behind your back.

«Yes he did» you mumbled taking a look at your shoes. At the very time you realized what words your mouth left out loud you corrected yourself quickly «They were cute yeah..um..where-where is Noel?» you shallowed the inside of your cheeks staring back at her.

«Behind you» she replied with a smirk. «Hey baby y/n forgot her pen there, would you wait for us? Just for a minute?»

«What? No-»

«No she didn't, I checked everywhere. Y/n just search again at your bag»You rolled your eyes and opened your bag, diving your hand into the mess inside just for you to reveal the pen that was missing apparently.

«I can't with you guys sometimes» her walking far from the two of you had you chuckle at your friend, yet thinking that something would have come out of this. But it was just a stranger, a handsome one, that you would never see again. The chances of meeting this man were minimal so you tried to not distract your mind with possible scenarios.

You were curious though. What would have happened if you went back there? Maybe he wouldn't be there, not all people like to enjoy their drinks inside a room with others. Maybe he would have been sitting at a table with the blonde guy talking about his day or problems hat he might have. How will his voice sound like? Or he would be the one listening to his friend.

Or they would be waiting for their girlfriends to come.

It sounded more realistic at that time.

«What happened now?». You grabbbed his arm slowly walking behind the blonde annoyed girl friend of yours. The irritated sound of his voice was showing, tired of her attitude she had the past xouple of minutes.

“She is just a little mad at us, you know she had other plans for tonight. What can I say? We are bad friends I guess" you joked making the boy next to you roll his eyes smiling.

_

Few days later you found yourself into your little appartment, working at a new assignment that had to be ready in a couple of hours. Your fingers tapping the keyboard faster that lightning, the words showing in front of you in seconds, your mind working nonstop, new ideas popping every now and then out of nowhere.

Three hours later and ten pages were ready to be sent back at your boss. Ten pages fillled with things that only God knew how much you loved them.

The power of art. How art can change someone completely, how people can be reborn, how the prospective of life can turn, how individuals could change into creatures ready to rule the world with their creativity, their visions of a better future.

Your phone rang unexpectedly, the sound of the familiar ringtone disctracting you from checking possible mistakes on your writing. You picked it in your hand, the photo of your blondie friend lit up the screen.

“Hello” you answered happy to hear her after days.

“Hi y/n, what are you-” a loud car horn stopped her from finishing her sentence, voices from far away screaming, a chaos starting to build up. “Watch where you’ re going phycho” you bit your lip curious as her aggressive tone sounded from the other side of the phone.

“Are you okay? Gigi?”

“Why do all idiots get driving license?”

“I don't know babe, let's just pretend that they didn't pay others"

“That's true" she paused for a while and then continued “Yeah anyway, what are you doing?”

“I just finished my article. Do you wanna come over?” you suggested.

“I was thinking if you're interested in meeting at that café we went with Noel” it was only ten minutes away from where you lived, so it worked perfect for you.

“That sounds like a plan”

“Great! I'm gonna be there in twenty minutes so take your time"

“Okay I'll see you soon" you hanged up the call and moved to your closet. The weather was cloudy and windy, unlike the day before. People were walking down the streets holding on to their jackets really tight, so you assumed that it was getting really cold out there, a feeling of sadness covering you from the inside as summer was coming to an end sooner that you'd thought.

_

Ten minutes after you were outside finally, hugging your body as tight as possible, holding your own jacket, try to protect your self from the cold. Your rapid steps got you to your destination earlier that usual. You opened the door, the warm air hitting your face, the smell of coffee and donuts filling your lungs. You scanned the space around you, an empty table catching your eyesight a few meters away from where you stood. You sat there ans waited patiently for your friend to come and join you. The attention of yours caught the food that was getting ready to be served to customers, looking like the most attractive thing in the universe. I'm getting one of these for sure.

“Sorry for being late. Guess who I bumped into” Gigi interrupted your thoughts as she sat at the chair across you.

“Bratt Pitt?”

“I would have died. Try again I'll give you one more chance”

“Is it a celebrity?” you leaned to her half smiling.

“Nope" she shaked her head and crossed her hands down to her chest, leaning back.

“Then why would I know? Was it your ex?”

“Who sees their ex and smiles like that? Wake up"

“I give up"

“Do you remember the two cute boys we saw here?” she placed her arms at the table. “Yes don't look at me like that. They will be here in a few"

“You invited two strangers? What if their intentions are bad? Have you lost your mind?” you started panicking, yet making sure that you won't drag all the attention to you from the others.

“That would have been fun for your miserable life but no they're not bad. They seemed really nice actually and that's why I told them that we will be here so shut your mouth. And you even said that you liked that brunette boy, you should thank me”

“I never said anything like that Gigi. And I don’t care if they are the nicest people we've ever met, they're still strangers-“

“Not anymore" she lifted her arm and then stood up with a bright smile on her lips. “Um hey guys" she greeted them and then pointed towards you. “This is y/n I told you about" you got up and turned around so you can meet them yourself.

“Harrison" the blonde guy said to you and you smiled back at him.

“Y/n" you shacked his hand politely. He did not seem bad at all and even though you felt sorry for him, it was still irresponsible from her to act like this. You made room for him to pass you and came face to face with the brunette boy.

«I'm Harry» so that's how his voice sounded like.

«I'm y/n. Nice to meet you» he shacked your hand and you couldn't ignore the feelings you got, the warmth, the electricity you felt, the sensation just from the palm of his hand. You sat back down, across your bestfriend and next to Tom.

At first you felt really awkward, compared to Gigi that looked so confident and never stopped talking, moslty about her life, how she ended up in this town, what she's studying, her hobbies. She was a person that had the ability of opening up to strangers real quick, very friendly. She made you feel like home, like she was the big sister everyone wanted. That's how she won a place into your heart, you have always needed a friend like her, and she was at the right place the right time.

«So y/n what do you do in your free time?» Harrison asked.

«Oh..um I write I guess?»

«You have to see what she wrote last week. I admire her talent and I'm sure she will get far one day»

«It's not that big of a deal» you grabbed the cup in front you. «I just love writing about life and things in general»

«I would love to read something of yours» you heard Harry speaking and you turned to watch him. His curls seemed perfect covering a little of his forehead, his cheeks a light red, probably from the heat, his eyes staring back at you.

«You think so?» he caught you by surprise, as mostly the people that learnt about your obsession with writing never actually asked you to read anything from your writings, and maybe there was a chance that this was the reason behind you doubting all of your work. It was a battle that you didn't ask for.

«Yes» his lips turned into a smile, your did to as you couldn't help it. And you met him only half and hour before.

Their stories were interesting. Harrison had a passion for acting and was actually preparing for a really big project that he couldn't share much information for. But your curiosity was loud, you wanted to learn about this job, or how he was able to handle his emotions.

Harry was into photography, a fact that surprised you in a good way, and as you heard him talk about it more as the time went by, both of you gained more confidence and comfort around each other, absorbing plenty of informations.

At this point you thanked your friend for inviting them, and noted to do that in person after. They were truly the nicest people and seemed like two boys that you would totally hang with them anytime.

“This is amazing. I would love to see them one day” you stated. He moved closer to you, his one arm came behind your chair and rested there.

“I'm free for you anytime, as long as I'm gonna read anything, a poem or a story, only of yours”

“You really want to read them? They are not that good” you pointed at Gigi "Don't listen to her"

“You're really cute” he pulled your hair behind your ear “And yes I want to read one of your writings, I know that they will be good, I can already tell how artistic you are and I like that” he really said that? Was this true?

“Hey mate we have to go. Tom is waiting for us" Harrison pushed Harry's arm destroying your little moment, thankfully cause you actually didn't have any answer for his statement. Just questions that he wasn't going to answer.

“Already? He can't wait for a little more?” Harry got up after Harrison as he wore his jacket.”I'm so sorry girls. We'll make up for this I promise you. And I'm gonna bring my work with me just for you" he whispered his last sentence to you, while the other two of the group were talking on their own.

“It's okay don't worry. I'm sure he has a reason for whatever happened"

“No my brother is just a asshole and not responsible but don't let me get started" you laughed for a moment and watched straight at you, Harrison and Gigi hugging each other. They seemed like they got so closed within an hour only. It was unbelievable how she knew exactly what to say to win everyone's heart and mind. “I'm just hoping that I'll be able to see you again"

“Um I hope to as well" you smiled at him goodbye and waved at the two boys, that were walking now outside the café.

“You're lucky that I have Harrison’s number”

“What?”you turned your attention back to her. She was in a really happy mood and it showed not only from her expressions but from her body language as well.

“You dumbass how are you gonna see him again if you can't find him huh?”

She was right.

“I'm sorry for earlier. I was wrong" you apologized, feeling sorry for staying mad at her when all she wanted to do was to get you out of your comfort zone.

“You're still thinking about it? Just tell, how was he? He was cute right?”

_

After 2 hours of gossip and analyses you were finally back at your safe place, wrapped around with your favorite blanket and your favorite movie on. Everything seemed okay when a message from an unknown number called you back into reality.

‘Hey this is Harry! I forgot to ask your number but I was lucky enough to find it. Goodnight<3'

-----------

he is so cute what the hell?????

[blankdblank]

Brother Dearest Pt 36

Breakfast, nice and simple with an anxious glance from Norma over you all at the table in her borrowed dress. Admittedly divorced a few months retired and now her nerves were all over her face to how the two women she had befriended would take to her spending the night with Victor who was doing all he could to calm her down. Though the nail in the coffin to her worries came in a casual mid slice of some pancakes, “I think we might need a spare comforter for the puppies if they’re to sleep with us again. Blanket hogs the both of them.” James smirked knowing you had more than enough blankets to have woken under and his glance to his glass granted him a side eye view of Norma looking between you eased that even with the impression of having simply shared a building you already were practically married.

That did it and her nerves dipped away relenting to a hopefully understood silent agreement not to share bedroom habits. While you were off to class Eddie was off to work and Dawn to head out with the Brocks to shop granting Victor and Norma some time alone. Eddie took the subway so Victor could take her back in style and to a parting kiss a plan to have dinner again soon before her trot through the doors of the hotel with dress and coat from the night before in a borrowed bag. Victor was floating on air when he got back to meet his brother at the house for a joint walk of the dogs.

Both sharing their thoughts on the young woman, while happy to have spent an evening with the elder brother was still frightened of losing another wife. Teddy had come out of nowhere and had bolstered his hope that a child could survive around the brothers so used to dwelling with their everlasting pain. Another child was well on its way soon with more to follow for Dawn to build the Squishy brood. Neither could wait to see how many children James and you could be blessed with while Victor didn’t dare to dream Norma might pick him to settle down with against movie stars she would encounter. After all she had shared blips prior to meeting you for the films ‘Scudda Hoo! Scudda Hay!’ And ‘Ladies of the Chorus’ to be released the next year had led to a script being sent her way for another role in the film ‘Love Happy’ to be filmed late the next year and released the next in ’49. She certainly had several chances to find someone more interesting than him.

.

“Miss Pear,” the voice of your Art History Professor came up on your right and you flashed her a quick grin lowering your camera from eyeing a possible target for one of your yearbook duty assigned targets in the building competition you were tasked to document alongside Portia on her first column on the paper.

“Hello Professor,” you said stepping out of the way of another young woman hurrying to fetch a tool from along the wall.

Inching closer she said, “I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind my talking to you about your paper, if now isn’t a good time-,”

“Now is good, anything to keep me from rushing to save that fire hazard. Didn’t even oil the joints.” You said lowly gesturing to a project that you approached taking a picture of the young woman who smiled noticing your approach.

“Well, I suppose I should offer my apologies, I wasn’t aware that you came from such-,” her voice wandered off for a socially acceptable term.

Turning around you gracefully crouched, carefully keeping your news together that nearly tapped the floor, to take a picture of another young woman catching her teetering sculpture she managed to save stirring up a wave of murmurs from the packed bleachers of friends, relatives and onlookers. “Humble beginnings is how the papers always put it,” in rising again she looked you over as you said, “Much easier to sell papers than saying I’m the child of Irish Immigrants who couldn’t afford to eat before the war, humble beginnings give a more picket fence image.”

Her gaze dropped to the floor as you took another picture from the side view of all the stands. In looking up again she said, “Normally the girls taken on here are, well,”

“Rich,” she nodded at your glance her way, “Didn’t hurt my dad was taking classes here before he died. Managed to scrape up some funds for my schooling and the government was all to happy to say they’d helped me into an Ivy League education after I was written off as Prisoner of War for so long.”

That had her eyes on her and she asked, “They what?”

You glanced at her again, “My Brother Eddie grabbed me and helped me into a uniform when the hospital got under fire. They wrote me off as Prisoner when they didn’t find my body with the other nurses. Over a year later I get shot in the shoulder and promoted to E4 Medic and the Canadian Army goes into full whirl in the press bragging on the first female Medic now that I wasn’t dead. Patch is a tolerable gift instead of a flag and a coffin for an orphan with no one to bury it.”

“You were shot?” She managed to whisper at the crack of her voice.

“Three times, why I got my promotions and medals. Though I can’t work out if it was the skirt or the fact I was fifteen when I was sent there by them that I got the Medal of Honor.”

“I’d think someone who had been shot would have more, scars.”

“Good genes, mom’s first husband was brutal and a drunk. Cleaned up just fine to catch my daddy’s heart.”

That had her lips part and while you moved to take another picture you noticed your Latin Professor who had been trying to creep closer to catching a fling with your Art History Professor with a smirk on his face catching her averting glance from him at his try to keep the game up in this event. “Miss Pear, you have peeked my curiosity I just have to know what you and the lovely Professor here are speaking about.”

“My military career.”

That had his brows arch up a moment and he wet his lips moving with you allowing you a better angle in his place. “While on that topic, I am curious. I traveled through Italy in the war and I was curious as to why your platoon took the Southern paths past Palermo when the Eastern ones would have cut the time in half.”

“There are more brothels to the South.” His eyes shifted to her and hers to him sharing a glance above your head in shock for the candid answer. “Have to protect your Medic. And when they found out I wasn’t his little brother the Captain decided to choose the path with less of a chance of my brother killing the other guys.”

“What was it like?” She asked softly, “The brothels.”

“Like a hotel in most cases, some were in barns or bars. Women were nice once they were paid and treated nicely. All usually more curious about me and the guy picked to watch me than anything else. Just women making a tough time work. Most of them were around my age or even younger depending on where we were.”

He asked, “And did the guys pick the girls your age?”

“When I hit 19 sometimes. They tried to keep over 18 and if the girls were all too young they just paid for back rubs or for them to just have some funds for food and let us crash inside a night. Plus it wasn’t a safety issue for me after they found out someone my size could stop tanks and take out planes in air. No risking my trust then from them.”

She said, “Well I hope to see what you do here until you set up at house when you are married.”

That had you smirk at her and say, “You’ll be stuck with me a while it seems. My fiancé and our family is determined to see me a Doctor or with a PhD.”

She looked you over and asked, “Has your fiancé taken you to the museum yet for your report.”

“We’re going with Portia tomorrow.”

He asked, “How did you latch on as friends so quickly? I am curious, she seemed to be slow to making friends.”

“Met her brother overseas. Plus us misfits have to stick together. She was the only one first day not to flinch to a face when I said we live in Brooklyn.” In looking up at him you circled a finger around your face, “That’s the one.” After taking the final picture you said, “I gotta change my film before they call the contest. Excuse me,”

When you left their sides he moved closer, “I didn’t make a face.”

“You kinda did,” she said.

“She’s from Brooklyn?”

To the bathroom you went and in a peek under the stall doors at the feet you saw you said, “Hey if you don’t mind I have to change my film, I gotta switch off the lights a couple minutes.”

While you settled your bag on the counter you heard a disheartened voice reply, “Fine by me, gonna be here a while.”

To that you glanced at the door after settling everything out in proper order then walked to lock the door and shut the lights off. Softly she gasped with heartbeat calming to the sound of your heels crossing the floor again back to the counter and each sound of the process completed with ease until you walked back saying, “Bright lights.” Switching the lights back on and unlocking the door. Back to the counter you went asking at the next deflating exhale from her, “Do you need anything? Like a pad? Or I have a spare blouse and a sewing kit if you’ve torn or spilled something on yours.”

“The pad would be nice, thanks.”

“Sure,” You said opening your bag to find the pad you carried with you in situations like this for ladies without your skills to just make a plug to lay you between bathroom trips. Right into the stall beside hers you went crouching again to pass the box under the stall divider she accepted from you and opened in your step to the sink to finish putting the used roll of film away you would develop later over your weekend and by the time you were done out she came sheepishly walking to the sink to wash her hands seeing who had helped her.

“Thank you,”

“Not a problem.”

“Didn’t expect you though. I thought you hated me.”

That had your head turning curiously to catch her eye, “Why would I hate you?”

“Well you never really talk to anyone. At least not about anything but school work.”

“I don’t hate anyone here at school.”

“We only ever really see you talking to that pink Portia.”

Smirking at her you said, “Any time anyone came to talk to me with a smile or being friendly in my old schools it was to put me in some scheme or to get something from me. I wasn’t popular and if you want to know why I’ve seemed to avoid certain people ask some of the girls who represented for the clubs in enrollment day that tried to refuse flyers to Portia. I know what it’s like to be the butt of the joke, she’s a sweet girl who happens to not be from here, didn’t deserve to be fodder for anyone’s pettiness. If you would like to be friends just be prepared for a whole new world of awkward and opinions to put some of ‘the way things are’ on their ear.” You looked her over and said, “You might want to get some iron tablets, you might be anemic on your cycles. Can’t have the head of the volleyball team passing out mid game tomorrow. Pickle or something salty might help a bit.” You said passing her the bottle you had pulled from your bag she accepted in your smile, “Only five left in there. Should last you the week. I can stop at the drug store on the way home.” You said turning around leaving her alone in the bathroom to look over the bottle, from which she took out a tablet she took with a sip of water gathered from her cupped hand out of the faucet she turned on.

“Ah, thought we’d lost you there for a bit,” Professor Randolph said making you grin walking with him back to the gymnasium.

“Just changing my film.”

“You seem to be getting along with your Art History Professor, she is one tough cookie.”

“Well I wrote a paper that made her cry.”

“That’ll do it,” he said with a nod.

“Though I have a feeling if those two hook up we’ll all feel the brunt of it.” You whispered lowly making him chuckle.

“Oh that is nothing compared to some debacle that ended last year with the last Mythology Professor and the Nurse when the former died. Downright scandalous and they were determined to have a man this year.”

“Ah,” You said catching his meaning and glanced his way, “If you don’t mind my asking, is there a Mrs Randolph?”

That had him grinning your way, “There was, she is resting waiting to be rebodied and our sons are traveling here from Asgard. You’ll like them, they’re all my former height before I chose this form to not be too imposing upon the populace, and my youngest is one of our finest bakers. So proud, eldest six chose from the arts and spinners of tales.”

“Seven, good for you,”

“Oh that’s not even the largest brood, we are quite humble compared to the warriors who breed twice our numbers. But it will take a few years minimum to get here, minimum, plenty of time to ready for them.”

“And, um, where do they intend on going when they land here?”

Smirking at you he said, “Do you realize how frequently scientists discover new islands popping up from underwater volcanic eruptions? More often than you think.”

“No doubt even rarer if they pop up near New York.” You giggled out making him chuckle.

“They will choose a lovely plot of ocean and assemble the portals to travel with ease for those wishing to integrate.”

“Do they know how to live here?”

“Oh they will be taught. And should you ever find yourself in need of filling positions in a company of your own you will have the most loyal of staff to accompany you to greatness.” He said with a smile splitting from your side to take his place back in the bleachers while you smiled seeing Portia smiling wider at your return after her glance around for you.

Once at her side she said, “Filled your camera already? I feel a bit behind I’ve only filled four pages on notes so far,”

“Oh don’t be like that. All I have to do is press a button and aim the camera. Words are harder.” Leaning in you whispered into her ear with a grin spreading to her lips, “Plus I had to make sure that I had ample space for the fire that tinder box is brewing after those joints throw their fit.”

Her mouth opened in a hushed agreeing gasp, “I knew I wasn’t the only one seeing her miss that step, how can you forget the grease? Right up there with the foundation being even.”

Together you giggled shifting for a wider view of the contestants finishing up, “Though I am impressed on the thought of Becca adding that warm water bottle to the center of her moving tower.”

Portia’s head tilted with yours as you lifted your camera to snap the shift of one of the arms on the crab like base slicing through the bottle complete with gasp from the young woman and shriek from the other woman who got splashed that turned to glare at then console the near to tears eliminated contestant. “Wonder if that’s one of those French brand bottles, neighbor used to day hers was never lined right so mom brought her a thicker dime-store one that saw her through that winter and five after.”

“I thought they lasted longer than five years.”

“Oh no, she died.”

“Oh,” she said looking you over and asked, “A lot of your neighbors die?”

You glanced her way, “Not really, she caught pneumonia, in and out of sickness her final years after a bad bout of polio as a kid just tore her immune system apart.”

“Rest of them were from drink or the factories. Do you have a lot of neighbors? Back home?”

“Couple, but they don’t live for miles, we have acres between us. Had a hard winter before we came here lost a few from it. Lot of people still use wood stoves. Some of them suffocate from the back draft sometimes when they clog or give out.”

“The guys are just glad they gutted our place, couldn’t walk five feet without finding another code violation or fire hazard. You know they put the fuse box by the boiler.”

“They did not!” She said gawking at you, “How could they be so reckless?”

“Well only immigrants to go up in flames I guess was their consolation. Much safer and airtight now.”

“Well I can’t wait to see it tomorrow when we go to the museum and have tea after.”

“Yes, and our time out could give Vic and Norma a breakfast to themselves and Dawn too while we watch Teddy for her.” That had her smile out of eagerness to see your little world you had built here for yourself to get you through the hard days at school in this rough city.”

Claps and cheers came with the awards ceremony to your capturing each of those being given ribbons, trophies and a group photo afterwards. The smirk on your face captured by Portia in borrowing your camera a moment having seen James come in and up behind you, the picture to be added to the mix was him draped behind you watching over your shoulder as you wrote out some tips for the young woman whose hot water bottle contraption she’d requested from you to perfect on her own.

“I’d have guessed you’d have won with that design.” Making her grin creep out in accepting her notepad back.

“Could have, if the bottle didn’t split. Maybe I can get it right for the exhibit in the end of October for the Gold Bond contest.” She looked you over asking, “Are you competing in any contests?”

“No, heard of a mural sort of prize raffle for Kodak. Get a whole crate of film if you win. Might submit a sketch for that.”

“The prize is just film?”

James said, “They also use the mural for their public ad for Christmas.”

That made her smirk, “Have to think up something unique for the holiday theme.”

“Oh I’m sure you could think something up.” She said slipping away to your loving fiancé easing back to take your hand to guide you back to Portia’s side to collect your camera again so he could snap a picture of the pair of you smiling to grant you another blip in the yearbook instead of being blocked out by being behind the camera. With giggle filled comments you walked her out to her waiting car waving her off for the train ride home again.

“What are you thinking?” he hummed near your ear settling onto the bench beside you with arm easing behind your back.

“Think I might try a bear, and a moose for the sketch.”

“Sounds perfect. I’d buy a hundred cameras from that ad.”

“I just think animals might be a nice twist.”

You aren’t going to change my mind.”

Up around his neck however your arms eased for a kiss leading you upstairs for a much needed bout of cuddling to enjoy your afternoon off. Though in the arrival of a guest at the door he slipped out of the room leaving you to give the sketch a try. On the bottom left a bear rocking with front paws linked to his toes wearing a Santa hat, right behind its back is a pair of squirrels, one in a sweater, the other with a scarf around a squirrel snowman above nuts writing the words ‘Merry Christmas’, all underneath the moose head with from the antlers various shaped ornaments. Top left above the bear you wrote, ‘For those who ever wondered just who Santa sees.’ The final touches being the night sky underneath a full moon lighting the snowy landscape with just the faintest silhouette of a sled soaring behind a cloud.

(I’m not photoshop level edit savy. I use paint, just pretend it’s got trees in the background with santa’s sleigh in the sky in front of the moon and the rest of the moose is in the pretend card mural.)

Truly you’d put it off to the last minute and inside an envelope alongside the entry form once you’d signed the bottom corner of the image as required with a stamp added the envelope was addressed and to the post office you went to ensure it got out on time. Months in advance might seem a bit absurd to some, however for a brand like Kodak you guessed that there would be thousands of entries that would be sorted through. And you didn’t need a free years worth of film, you could no doubt afford it on your own, however you figured it might be nice. You’d only entered a couple spelling contests in school that never took you anywhere but a blurb in the same paper that Eddie now worked at, a copy of which was dug out of the records to hang ridiculously as one of the articles on famous people now beside the several stories copied for your own files all through the war and since then. 20 cents was your prize then and helped to buy the coin purse you were saving your run away fund inside that held the dime left over.

On each corner you smiled and waved to your neighbors who were curious to see you traveling alone anywhere but the church watched you slip your way past a mailman who held the door open for you with a kind thanks heading for the counter with two women curious to see you there. Both smiled and to the one on the left for simple postage you passed the large envelope she eyed reading the destination, “Writing to Kodak? As in the camera company?”

“They’re having a contest geared towards Christmas ads. You get some free film if you win. Haven’t been in a contest since that spelling bee against your Tina.”

That made her smile in adding the proper stamps using her stamper and ink pad and reaching for the receipt booklet to complete your purchase. “Oh I remember that. True work of art on the dance floor, but red as a radish having to speak in public.”

The other woman chuckled asking, “You aren’t entering any more contests?”

“Only other ones I’ve heard of was a cooking contest on who could come up with the best recipes for anything pumpkin last month, but can’t say I’ve ever had pumpkin let alone know what to do with one if we sold them here.” Making the pair chuckle. “Still working my way through the books James and Victor had up in Canada.”

The first woman accepted your coins and said, “Well I’m certain you’ll win.”

All you could do was thank the pair and smile on your way out again leaving them to their gossip exiting onto the street where you found Eddie across it smiling in noticing you were there to trot across it behind a passing car to get to your side. “Hey sis, what’re you doing in the post office?”

“Sending off that Kodak contest entrance form.”

“Oh that’s great, what’d you pick?”

“A bear, moose and some squirrels.” He chuckled at your own embarrassed giggle and glance away making him loop his arm behind your shoulders. “It’ll be unique at least. I have a duplicate sketch at home, if you wanted-,”

“Agh, no need. We’ll all see it when it’s posted in the papers that you won.”

Shaking your head you replied, “I hope that won’t be for my name if I do.”

“It won’t be, after all, you said it’s unique.”

“Plus I guess if they do pick mine it won’t be so back they’re choosing twelve, so they can just say it’s favoritism for one of them.”

“Oh trust me, Kodak wouldn’t pick anything but the best of the bunch for their big end of the year sales. You did think of a slogan?”

“’For those who ever wondered just who Santa sees,’ and I remembered to add the sleigh at least up top and the Merry Christmas too.”

“Good, love the slogan. Bet they never thought of that.”

“No clue how it ties to buying cameras.”

“Think of it as a where’s a camera when you need one moment that someone on the naughty list would come across.” Making you giggle again.

“Oh yes, now we’re pitching Kodaks to the naughty children and adults.”

“Only the naughty ones get to what the animals are up to. Any contenders for the slogan you chose against?”

“No thumbs required to believe.” That had him chuckle again, “But I thought it might be a bit tasteless against some of the veterans.”

In another chuckle he said, “I think more than some would get a kick out of it. A Kodak for the wounded warriors. They could market that no doubt. Already have a Medal of Honor donning soldier to be the face of the campaign.”

“Oh yes, truly rub it in for those who doubt I earned my medals.”

“You did and more so, and they can choke on some coal if they don’t like it and shit out a diamond for all I care.”

“Now that would be something to see. From Golden Goose to Diamond Shitting Non-Patriot.” Making him laugh again to your amused giggle.

“Exactly. Either way might get you in the papers again. Speaking of which, got a call this morning from American Home, the spreads we took are coming out next week.”

“Oh that should be interesting. No doubt people will be asking when we took them seeing Dawn’s figure is unquestionable she’s got a passenger on board,” widening is smile, “I do hope the reviews aren’t too terrible.”

“Oh they’ll love it, no doubt we’ll hear our wallpaper choices and china are flying off the shelves.”

“Already got a call about the china, they asked for the right to post a picture of us in their yearly magazine and share that they were our choice for china for the new home and our wedding set.”

“Oh that’s nice,”

That had you giggle again, “No telling what lengths what the wedding gown company will go to when they find out I ordered the dress not Dot.”

He chuckled lowly, “Well we did need some stealth to all this or they’d have had mocked up pictures for all the papers already.”

“I am glad she talked me into that. Still can’t believe even just ordering anything at all has our names in the papers. Even that flower pot from Alberta, come on, had a whole special on what I bought.”

“Well you have to admit they are glad that you chose some of their least popular items that flew off the shelves.”

“Well I can’t help it they were so brightly colored. Mom never got the bright pots, too expensive, plus the bees love the bright ones.” Deepening his grin even more remembering those weeks you spent just arranging the flower pots in the back courtyard and patio.

“We’ll just have to see if we can lure some bees out here for you.” Softly you chortled, “Even if we have to hang some fake crystal ones.”

“I think I’ll leave the yard to the girls for now out here and fight Vic for the garden in Canada.”

.

James with Teddy against his chest shouldered the diaper bag and walked with you out of the subway to the front of the MoMA where Portia was just pulling up. His eyes stealing glimpses of the same blue eyed Prince who had clearly snuck in to the Beserker lands again with another orange in his hand to see what you were up to. His eyes looked you over then to the boy who waved to him he returned the gesture to. “Truly I have not been gone long enough for you to have conceived and bourn a child.”

Smirking at him you said, “My nephew Teddy, Prince Loki.”

Turning his head he narrowed his eyes staring at the museum behind him asking, “Is Eli meeting you here?”

“No, have to write a paper on an exhibit here.”

“Hmm,” he said lifting a slice of the orange he popped between his lips to chew on. “Ah, the pink woman again.” he said in your smiling turn to greet Portia in her being set free.

“Be nice blue eyes,” you softly said earning a soft sigh from him in return at his guess for what he was to endure today at this odd place.

She smiled exiting the car to excitedly stroll with you to the entrance with notepad in hand matching yours to make notes on the exhibit you were choosing to choose from for this paper. From James’ pocket you brought out his wallet to pay for you and him after Portia insisted on paying for herself with her own coin purse. Teddy of course got in free and watched you put James’ wallet back sliding the change back along with it after your former issues with this same guy who didn’t like taking funds from women when there was a man present. “Paper currency, how primal.” Loki sighed luring out your grin guessing what he might say while he’s shadowing you today.

Into your arm her arm looped and through the front doors the guards opened and closed behind you. The action confusing the Asgardian wondering on her rank as to be so comfortable on touching a Queen so casually. Already Teddy was looking around along with Portia who listened to you share about blocked plaques that others were keeping her from inspecting along with details on the lobby that James added in on about the arches and architecture until you reached the stairs to the way to the proper exhibit as she said, “I think we start in the right place to get the notes done then we can browse around.”

“Sounds good. Plus it’s usually easier to bound around to avoid the crowds. Plus the tours always linger and are so loud.” Turning in a circle Loki took in the space and eyeing the direction you were going and the other options the flash of green over his body preceded his doubles strolling off in each open walkway with himself still holding the orange to follow your group.

Portia, “Well we can’t scare Teddy with loud crowds, no we can’t.” Flashing him a smile on his glance her way hearing his name he mirrored in a happy giggle at your own smile his way. Behind James and you Loki continuously stole glances at Teddy in his tries to inch up to stare at the Prince who randomly made faces at the boy luring out his giggles and faces that made the few strangers who caught them in passing laugh themselves and wave back.

Portrait by portrait you both strolled and to her amusement you were able to recite the tour information back word for word after sneaking into the tours as a child confirmed by the tour guide entering on your way out to the first exhibit they had just left. The words all soaked up by the Prince wondering if you had commissioned this collection of artwork to have known each detail about every one of them. None of them he preferred to his own taste but all of them showing hints to artwork his own people had once used elements from them. His excitement grew as the assignment was through and he could hear more on the areas around this section. Returning your notepads and pens to your purses to explore as much as possible. Until you all at Teddy’s agreeing grumble for food had you climb into her car for the drive home. Back at the car his doubles each soaked back into his body and he slipped into the car settling on the floor to be out of the way wondering what your home would be like.

Anxiously she watched your city stretch on and listened to everything along the way to the front walk where you asked the driver, “Did you want something to eat?”

“That would be mighty kind, thank you, Miss Pear.”

He glanced down the street eyeing the kids peering at the car, “Car’ll be fine. They just like to daydream.” That calmed him and he followed you all up the stoop through the open front door.

In Loki’s path to your side he asked, “Why would the chauffer not be comfortable leaving the vehicle on its own?”

To a flash of silver in your eyes his glimmered green a moment feeling your mental tap he accepted to hear your answer, “He’s afraid it will get damaged or stolen.”

“He is that afraid for the safety of his vehicle? The street is adequately empty with little traffic.”

To that you wet your lower lip in a glance away, “It isn’t his vehicle, it belongs to Portia’s father.”

“Surely then he should not be so concerned. It is not his. Were it to be stolen-,”

“He would be fired and arrested at best,” parting Loki’s lips. “This is not Asgard, dark skinned people have been released from slavery quite recently and have very few rights. I am glad to know that Asgard could be safer for them, however we are still working on equality.”

“Could you and miss pink not do something about this injustice?”

“Women are property on this planet.” The statement halting him in the middle of his step to enter the room you were guiding Portia into. “I belong to my brother until I wed James, then in public I am allowed to do what he shares I am free to.”

“Surely that is first on your list to right at once!” He said hurrying to catch your side again seeing the same flinch of pain from his last visit in your eyes explaining a lot more from his first visit to your school an how others behaved around you.

“Trust me I fully intend to crush any man in my way to my goals. And my friend Portia, is among the few women I’ve met willing to shake the status quo. I’ll do anything I can to help her and other women to get forward in life and out of the mark of being owned.”

“Surely my father knows nothing of this.”

In a glance his way, “I highly doubt your father cares. Or my mother and other women wouldn’t have faced such brutality in their lifetimes.” Determined for answers Loki bottled up his bubbling rage enduring the tour until he was certain it was just small talk around the table. Then he ate the rest of his orange to race off to find his mother Frigga for an answer to these infuriating discoveries that she now took as your mission that was keeping you from attacking Asgard, but not protecting their planet as they were rightly responsible for the issues allowed to fester there. Surely putting them second on the list for targets once you have righted Midgard and were after those responsible for those issues festering in the first place.

James led him inside to the kitchen where he found Victor ready with a juice filled bottle and some food to go with the lunch as you showed Portia around to sate her curiosity about everything. Once there he was a bit confused to find no separate kitchen for him to eat inside of that had Victor saying, “No one’s gonna drag you out of here, feel free to get comfortable. If you like you can eat in here to the radio while we set the table in the dining room.”

That had him ask, “You don’t have any help?”

James chuckled easing Teddy into his high chair to start feeding the boy, “Nope. Don’t need any.”

Victor said, “Plus this is the Irish block, no one around here has help outside of the family. Too big for their britches and pocket books.” He said taking the first of the food out to the set table.

James added on in the Driver lowering into the chair James motioned to behind the plate Victor had made for him with utensils he returned to pour him a glass of juice, “And Jaqi likes to practice her cooking lessons.”

The Driver thanked the pair for the food while Victor got to the tea for you who asked him, “Would you happen to know if Portia likes sugar in her tea?” That had the Driver smirk watching him pop a sugar cube between his lips, “There is something about this damn sugar cube package. Tastes off,” He said setting the cubes aside to grab the loose sugar bag he filled the sugar container with for the tea tray with a measuring spoon to not spill.

The Driver said, “Could be you got that rancid sugar they tried to dump off down south in the war.”

James, “Something about it. But we got some honey from Canada to help sweeten the tea for Jaqi till we got the new bag, now we got nothing to use the cubes for unless we want to glue it into a house or something for Halloween decorations.”

The Driver said, “Either that or you can use it for soaps or stains, add some water to it ground up and leave it on the stain for an hour you can get out some nasty grease off your hands and grass off your clothes.”

Victor smirked saying, “Soap sounds helpful, fixing the back grill has been hell to scrub that grease off.” He looked the Driver over, “How’s your brother Benjamin doing? Jaqi shared about him.”

That had his brows inching up and he released his fork leaving it on his plate to reach into the inner pocket of his jacket offering Victor the envelope he drew out the copies of pictures inside. A smirk ghosted across Victor’s face walking around the table to sit by James showing him the images of the time in Italy your troops that crossed paths with his brother’s colored battalion. “Oh look at these. These are some good angles.”

The Driver smirked returning to his meal, “Benjamin likes taking pictures on the side. Even got a job taking portraits in the colored part of town and for some stables for Sir.”

James, “Well that’s good to hear. Did it cost a good deal to have these printed down south?”

The Driver shook his head, “No sir, Benjamin prints his own copies. Sir bought him a good supply of all he needed to keep up on his horses and their progress while he’s away.”

Victor chuckled lowly, “One way to make sure no one makes off with a show pony while he’s gone. Jaqi will love these. Hasn’t been able to find a picture of these beaches in books on Italy.”

Between bites of his food Teddy patted his hands on the pictures James started to show him as well. By the time he was through and finishing off his bottle James was on his feet rinsing the plate off and Victor smirked to the Driver saying, “I’ll turn the game on for you, there’s seconds on the stove if you want more. Help yourself.”

He nodded his head with a grin, “Thank you sir.” Watching the brothers who walked out to join you both at the table to help you entertain Portia for a couple hours to when she was expected to leave freeing you to head up with Victor to print out a copy of the film reels from the contest to hand over to the yearbook team at school on Monday. Dinner came soon enough after you’d drafted the essay due for your Art History class from the trip to the exhibit today.

Pt 37

All –

@himoverflowers​, @theincaprincess​, @aspiringtranslator​ ​,@thegreyberet​, @patanghill17​, @jesgisborne​, @curvestrology​, @alishlieb​, @jogregor​, @armitageadoration​, @fizzyxcustard​, @lilith15000​, @marvels-ghost​, @catthefearless​, @imjusthereforthereads​, @c-s-stars​, @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore​, @mariannetora​, @shes-a-killer-kween, @ggbbhehe4455, @xxbyimm (Hobbit x oc)

X Marvel-Cast - @himoverflowers, @theincaprincess​, @changlingkhat

[hubbie22]

Tears Ricochet Pt 3

Tagged: @jennyggggrrr

A/N: let me know if anyone wants to be tagged! Enjoy my angsty sad trash 😊

Everyone around Liv changed, from the person they used to be to who they were now. In those five years she spent comatose, they were growing and finding themselves.

Now, it was her turn.

“What excited you before the accident?” Dr Styles asks her one day, it seemed like an odd question for a doctor to ask his patient. “What did you enjoy?”

Her brows knit together as she thinks, “I loved photography.” She majored in Art History in uni, and from what she could remember she was a photographer for a magazine. She could remember tagging along on a few tours with the boys, taking candid photographs. That seemed like another lifetime ago, and in truth it was. Her face lights up, “It used to be my job.”

“You should get back to it.”

“Yeah?” She hangs on his words, but then she remembers how she approached everyone. “You should tell that to my friends.”

“I can’t keep depending on y’all for a free handout.”

Freddie rolls his eyes, “Nonsense! Don’t be dramatic! Besides, I can’t legally adopt you. I checked.”

Liv looks at him, “Are you joking?”

Freddie deadpans, “No.”

“I’m almost 30 years old.”

“And your point?” Freddie says with a mischievous grin.

“You aren’t finished with PT and your hospital appointments.” Chrissie says she looks like a frazzled mother. “Bloody hell! You’ve been up for a few months!”

Promoting Brian to follow with a logical explanation, “You can’t work, no company would be flexible enough to allow you to juggle the amount of appointments you have.”

John looks more sympathetic, “You need to have something that’s not handed to you?”

“Yeah, Deaks.”

“Well we can work that out, can’t we?” Veronica says with a small smile, always the chipper one. Always positive, glass half full type.

Of course, what was worked out was Freddie giving you an allowance for running errands. You really were their child.

“I’ll speak with them. I think it could help you readjust to life. It will also give you a sense of the normality you used to have.”

“You think I could?” It’s a veiled question. It’s loaded with the unsaid thought, you think I could be normal?

“I think you have all the tools to be successful, I think you also have the personality to put this behind you.”

“I wish my friends felt the same way.” She sighs, she was growing tired of their incessant worrying. “They treat me like their child. You know they proposed I stay a week with each of them?” She huffs, “Fred, Deaks, Ronnie, Chris, and Bri devised a plan to share custody of me. Me! An adult! I even heard Freddie enquiring to Miami, the band’s lawyer, if he could adopt me! It started as a joke between us, but he seriously wanted to know!”

He chuckles, before he turns to her. She’s clearly upset, but she needs to understand that they only do so much because they care. “They love you.” He wanted to finish the sentence with and it’s easy to see why, but that would be unprofessional and unethical. “They are being careful, as they should be. Your mind is healing, and so is your body. What you went through was mentally and physically traumatic. Not only that, everything you thought you knew vanished, when you woke up. You can’t blame them for handling you like they have.”

“You think Liv needs a job?” Chrissie looks at the man like she has two heads. She and Brian are sitting on the two chairs flanking Liv, looking like worried parents as Dr Styles briefs them.

“I think she needs independence.” Dr Styles says with a pointed look. “And a job can be that form of independence Olivia needs to feel like she isn’t a burden.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, from what I’ve read assimilating to normalcy to early can cause regression-”

“With all due respect, Mr May, I am the neurologist here. We all want Olivia to be happy and healthy, correct?” Brian and Chrissie nod their heads, “As I thought, then don’t drag her into a depressed state under the guise of helping her. Because that’s what is happening here.”

“What do you even want to do?” Brian looks at her, and she feels like a child getting in trouble. “Have you even thought about that? What if you want to go back to school? Which you could do-”

She interrupts him, “What I used to do, Brian.”

“I’ve already contacted the magazine Olivia worked for, they are more than happy to welcome her back. They are more than willing to accommodate her appointments.” Dr Styles looks at her, and she mouths a thank you to him.

“Well, Brian and I can’t fight that.” Chrissie says with a small smile on her lips, as she watches the way Dr Styles looks at Liv.

The conversation with Freddie, Mary, Ronnie, and Deaky about her new found employment went down fairly well. They accepted it, and for the first time she felt like she was going in the right direction. Maybe they noticed the change in her, when she came home from that first day. A new camera hanging off her neck and a megawatt grin plastered on her face. And how she went from feeling like she was so far behind them, she was no longer paused. She was finally trekking down the intended path, instead of being motionless in the void.

“Surprised you don’t have that old camera around your neck.” Marcus’s fingers grazed over the shiny black metal casing her new camera. She remembered him when he came back from assignment, it felt nice to see a familiar face in the office that wasn’t her boss. And the time apart, did nothing to hinder their working relationship. They picked up where they left off.

“You were attached to that bloody thing, like it was an extension of you.” All it took was one sentence to bring back the memories of that camera, and who bought it for her.

“Open mine!” Roger says with a twinkle in his bright blue eyes, he had been on pins and needles for months about her Christmas present.

She tears open the poorly wrapped paper, Roger was many things- a master gift wrapper was not one of them. She’s greeted with that camera she’d been looking at in the shop window for the better part of six months. She’s practically flying across the space between them to hug him. “This is amazing! Thank you! Thank you!”

“That was ONE year worth of Reaction gigs.” He says, quite impressed with himself.

“Now I can immortalize you in film!” She says happily as she snaps a picture of him. Blonde hair sticking out everywhere in his mismatched pjs, a beautiful sight on Christmas morning.

“Happy Christmas, Livie.”

“I don’t even know where it is, don’t even know where to start.” Her mind comes out of the memory of a time long gone.

“Start with that mansion you used to live in.” Marcus says, “I’d start there.”

She wondered if Roger threw out that camera, like she assumed he had done with her clothes. Because the moment she stepped over the threshold of Garden Lodge, her room was lifeless slate; devoid of personality. Because of this, she assumed Roger threw out all of her belongings or simply gave them away. It took one look at her for Freddie to decide that she needed a new wardrobe. And she was never one to turn down a chance to go shopping, it reminded her of the old times, when Fred and Rog had their Kensington stall. She knew something was off when Deaky told her he had possession of her dad’s records. She knew there was something more to that, something Deaky wouldn’t tell her. And she let that be, because what’s the point of dragging up something Deaky clearly didn’t want her not to know.

She wondered if Roger erased every trace of her from the Surrey house.

“Really?” Liv looks at him, they were going to go from a two bedroom flat to buckingham palace? “I didn’t know the Queen was selling one of her properties.”

“Oh come on, Livie! It’s bloody brilliant!” His blue eyes dance with the possibilities of the future they could have here. He’s dragging her around every room, his voice echoing of the emptiness. He’s already pointing out what would go where.

“And the kids have their own rooms.”

That caught her off guard, “Kids?”

“Well, yeah!” He opens up the door to one of the superfluous bedrooms in the ten bedroom home. Sunlight pours in from the windows. “Imagine your hair, my eyes, my talent our kids will rule the world.”

“I guess I don’t have talent?” She punches him in the shoulder.

“In other areas.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

She rolls her eyes, pretending she didn’t hear him.

“Well what do you think?”

“It’s very practical.” She says with a shit eating grin. “Save us loads on heating. And a garage for every one of your lovies.”

“You’ll always be my number one.” He pokes her cheek, and bops her nose.

“Yeah, yeah. Keep it in your pants.” She pushes him off.

“What do ya say?”

“I’ve always wanted to live like the Addams Family, I suppose.”

“We are very creepy and kooky.”

“This it?” The gruff voice startled her back into reality. She could go anywhere she wanted, and yet she couldn’t go home.

“Yeah.” She says handing the man his money. She exits the car, she can hear the gravel crunching as her legs carry her to the front door. It was an alien feeling, ringing the doorbell to what was once your house.

The door opens after what seems like years, and she’s facing Roger. “Livie.” He slips back into his old nickname for her so easily. He looks like he wants to pull her across the doorway and into a hug, like he used when he came back from touring.

But he doesn’t.

“Can I?” Her teeth are chattering from the cold.

“ ‘m must be freezing!” He says as he steps to the side letting her walk into the foyer. “Come on, let’s get some tea in you, yeah?” He takes her coat, and hangs it on the bare rack. She wonders if they get any visitors? Have the sounds of the wild parties been replaced with the sounds of baby toys and children shows?

He leads her to the kitchen, she notices the cabinets are no longer light, but now dark. The whole of the kitchen is completely re-done, it’s no longer light and airy, but dark and chic. The whistle of the kettle startles her from looking at the kitchen, and him from looking at her. “Here.” He lays out two mugs, “And of course the most sugar for you.” His eyes twinkle as he overloads her tea with sugar.

“Surprised you remember.” She blows on the teacup, relishing the warmness pooling in her hands.

“Kinda hard to forget, you like sugar with a splash of earl grey.” He gives her a cocky grin, before he motions her to follow him to the living room.

She walks down the hallway and into the living room, none of the pieces of furniture she bought for the house stayed intact. All of it was replaced with new pieces, emulating the French countryside in an English country home. Ironic. She smiled when she saw the maroon colored antique couch she bought at a Kensington market so long ago.

She settles down on the couch, “You kept it.”

He sits across from her on some chairs, she remembered Roger picked out. “ ‘Course I kept.” She wants to ask if this was the only thing he kept of hers? Since, he threw everything else out.

The silence around them is deafening, so many emotions and unsaid feelings hanging between them.

“So, I’ve been working at the magazine.” She looks around her, seeing the frames that used to house pictures of her and Roger have been replaced with Roger’s new life. She swallows the bitter bile that raises up in her throat.

He smiles at that, remembering how much she loved her job.“Fred told me, I’m proud of you. You always enjoyed what you did.”

“Marcus mentioned my old camera and I thought it might be here.” She cuts right to the chase, she didn’t want to be in this house longer than she absolutely had to. “Do you have it?”

He runs his hands through his hair, “ ‘M sorry Livie, but-”

“But, what?”

“I dropped it.”

She let out a breath, she didn’t even know she was holding in. “What do you mean you dropped it? That camera cost you one year of reaction gigs? How can you drop something that was in a case, anyway?”

He looks at her with those damn puppy dog eyes, she knows that look. It’s the look he used to give her when he wanted forgiveness. “I had taken it out of the case, see if you had film in it. Dom wanted to look at it and it happened so fast.”

“You lied.”

“What?”

“You said you broke it, but you didn’t.”

Roger tries to reason with her, “It was an accident.” But she will have none of it. She knows he isn’t telling her the truth. It was so very like Roger to skirt around it, telling bits of it to make his conscious lighter.

“Just like it was an accident, that John ended up with my dad’s old records?”

He was taken aback by that, she can practically see the guilt radiate off of him. “I was in a bad place. I wasn’t myself.” He bites his lip, “For the first two years, I listened to those records before every show. My way of keeping you with me.” He looked at her, a little smile playing on his lips, “Bloody hell it hurt. It was like I was flayed open, and every nerve ending going off. And I just had too...” He can’t look at her for the next part, “A roadie told me that if I wanted to forget, he had something. And for the first night, I could look at a woman and not see your face. And it felt good... so good not to be flayed open for a few hours.”

Her eyes began to water, so she bites her lower lip to keep the tears from pouring down. And for the first time, it’s Roger that is broken. But like all things concerning him, whatever he is feeling she takes on. “So, I threw them out. I threw them out thinking. I packed everything I had of you up. I figured if I buried myself in coke and groupies, I wouldn’t feel so raw and open.”

She stands up, she can’t believe him. “Did I really mean that little to you?” She asks, voice cracking.

“You meant everything to me. How could you ever doubt that?” He’s holding her face in his hands, and she can feel every one of his calluses on her cheeks. He has more than she remembered, another sign of time slipping away.

“Meant as in past tense.” She takes his hands off of her cheeks, “Something that’s over, that’s done now.... like us.” She steps away from him, “You put me in something that meant to you, when you trashed my dad’s records. And I didn’t mean everything, when packed my whole life into boxes. Just like all the other things you don’t want to want remember, you filed me along with everything else that meant something to you.”

“No, please don’t think that… please.” She’s opening already headed to the foyer, determined to get the hell out of this house. But, Roger won’t let her go. It’s ironic, that he was so eager to once. And now he can’t. “I was high and just dead inside, I went back for them. I’d always go back. And John had them, because he knew. He knew, I’d always find my way back to you.”

She whips around, looking at him. He looks like the scared little boy, she used to know. “But you didn’t, you didn’t come back this time.”

“I wanted too, bloody hell I wanted too.” She wonders if he is going to start crying. His blue eyes are glassy. “The worst thing I ever did was what I did to you. And I’ve done some shitty things. Telling you about my life now, watching you try to understand and accept that I gave up on you. I couldn’t hold onto you, without killing myself.” He tries to hold onto her hand, but she pulls it away. He flinches at her reaction to him. “‘M so sorry that for the first time in a lifetime, I can't come back to you.”

Her voice is breaking, “Would you? If you could, would you?” An unanswered question hanging in the air. Would you trade what you have now, for what you had?

“I- I don’t know if I could. It’s like half of me is screaming to keep you, whatever the cost. But, the other half of me can’t do that. But then I think of not having you in my life as anything, not even my best friend. And I’m angry at myself, at the world- at how cruel time can be.” There it was the truth laid bare.

“When you feel that way you should look what time and the world have brought you.” She tries to smile, but she doesn’t have the energy. “As much as I want you to say you’d change it, that you’d come back to me…. I don’t think you would.” She bites her lip, a nervous habit. “Not now, not after knowing what it’s like to have a family of your own. Having what you always wanted, what you craved but never had.” She opens up the door, “Goodbye, Rog.”

Between appointments with Dr Styles, and work she kept busy. She kept herself away from Roger, it was easier that way. It was easier than pretending she wasn’t dying inside, every time she saw him and Felix. It was better that way. She was better that way.

“She’s sick? Again?” She can hear Roger’s voice waft up the grand staircase of Garden Lodge. “I brought Felix to see her.” He sounds defeated, because he pulled out the big guns this time.

“Liv seems to always be feign illness, when you pop by Roger darling.”

“What the fuck happened between you two?” Leave it John to be the one who would cue to the chase. “One minute she’s playing on the floor with your kid, next minute she doesn’t want to see you.”

“She showed up the other day at the Surrey House.”

Freddie made a gasp that could belong in a soap opera. “Oh my the scandal! Liv showing up announced! None of your gentlemen callers will want you now, that you have been left sullied by an unchaperoned visit!”

“Shut it, Fred.” Roger’s voice is low.

“Some guy at work told her about her camera. She wanted it and I had to tell her Dom broke it. It somehow all went up in flames after that.”

“You have a tendency of doing that.” Brian quips with a snort.

“What exactly did you do, Rog?” Freddie asks

“Isn’t it obvious?” Deaky scoffs. “He told her the truth, the whole truth. Didn’t you, Rog? He had to tell her about the drugs, the women, and how he basically had a massive purge of her from his life.”

“Deaky, darling, don’t be rude.”

“I’m being honest.”

“So was I.” Roger says flatly. “And it cost me everything.”

“Your short term and long term memory seem to be functioning at a normal rate.” Dr Styles says, as he jots down notes on his chart.

“That’s good, right?”

“It’s excellent, Olivia.” He’s the only one to call her by her full name. It makes her feel like someone else. “So much so, I’m signing your release forms.”

This shocked her, she hadn’t expected to be released only nine months after waking up. She thought she would be in and out of hospital for years.

“Really?”

“Consider yourself officially discharged from my care.” He says as he hands her the paperwork. “Of course, you will have your routine checkups with your primary, but no more weekly visits.”

“I’ll miss those visits. For a time, it was the only stability I had.” She hops off the exam table, “Alright, I guess this is goodbye, Dr Styles.” She extends her hand for him to shake.

He didn’t want to say goodbye. “It doesn’t have to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you aren’t my patient anymore, that means anything is possible.”

Her brow raises, “Anything?”

“Like is having dinner tomorrow night at seven?” He says hopeful, and praying to whatever god above he didn’t just ruin this. Because he was smooth with the nurses here, he’d even go as far to say he was popular. But, bloody hell she made him nervous.

She laughs, “I’d like that.”

[backtothestart02]

Mixed Drink - 19/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: This one was harder to write, but I hope you enjoy it!

Commissioned by @andromidagalaxie

...

Chapter 19 -

A few days later, Iris found herself still at work an hour after her shift had ended, gnawing on her lip and still unsure of what to do.

She still hadn’t called or texted Jesse. She had to give the girl credit. She hadn’t bothered her once. She’d waited patiently for Iris to contact her. She had said she’d contact her in a few days though, and a few days it had been.

Tell her everything?

How dangerous would that be? And what would she do with that information? She said she wouldn’t share it, but would she cave and tell Wally, or worse yet, Joe and Francine? She might have the best of intentions, but some of the worst things in the world happened with the best intentions.

She was so occupied staring at the floor with her chin propped in her hand that she didn’t even register the presence of someone walking towards her.

“Made a decision yet?” the voice asked, and when Iris looked up, she saw the object of her thoughts staring down at her softly. She didn’t look angry or annoyed, just curious.

“Jesse, hi.”

“Hey. May I?” She gestured to the other side of the booth Iris was sitting at.

Iris nodded, forcing a smile on her conflicted face.

“How’ve you been?” Jesse asked, as if the real question she wanted to ask wasn’t plain as day written on her forehead.

“Alright,” Iris played along, needing the small talk somehow. “You?”

“I’ve been fine. School, you know. And Wally…”

Iris’ brows furrowed. “Are things all right with Wally?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, they’re fine. It’s just…” She licked her lips.

“You want to know my answer,” Iris finished for her.

“It has been a few days,” Jesse said weakly, as if she was afraid to remind her. “That is what you asked for.”

Iris nodded. “It is.”

“Have you…thought about my proposal?”

“Is this a school assignment?” Iris asked, only half-joking.

“I am taking a journalism class just for fun, but no, it’s not an assignment.”

That’s how it started for me too, Iris thought to herself. A journalism class for fun.

She’d developed a passion for writing and reporting so fast, investigating, finding out the truth and sharing it, letting justice prevail. But her love for it had also quickly become the downfall of the entire West family. Ever since then she’d wandered in the wilderness of her life, never succeeding at what she loved so much.

Every place of employment she went to, her heart ached too fiercely, her passion bending the rules before she’d elevated to a place where she could bend them. She was never promoted, never praised, and in the end fired for reasons that sometimes seemed like they came out of thin air. Sometimes they were legitimate – not sticking to assignments ever or sneaking into places where her badge did not allow, places that were dangerous apparently. But sometimes she would be fired without a reason and without any warning, and with no recommendation letter either, which left her truly wondering if she was cursed to have such a love for something she couldn’t seem to succeed at.

“Iris?”

She blinked and found Jesse looking at her with furrowed brows again, a concerned expression if she ever saw one.

“Um…”

“If your answer is no, it’s okay to say so. It’s eating me alive not being able to do something as I see your family continue to fall apart, but…I won’t push you. Like you said, some things just can’t be fixed.”

Iris eyed her suspiciously.

“You don’t strike me as someone who gives up that easily.”

Jesse hesitated. “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions – not related to your past?”

“Okay.”

That seemed safe enough.

“Why are you working at Jitters, of all places?”

Iris raised her eyebrows, amused.

“Jitters is a nice place.”

“For a first job maybe,” Jesse said. “Or a job to hold you over while you’re going to school or until the next big thing comes along.” She paused. “Is there a next big thing coming along for you?”

Iris didn’t like how unsettled the question made her. She hadn’t actually thought much into the future except making her part of the rent and having Barry in her life. Eventually she wanted to try being a reporter again, but right now she was so depleted from all her failed attempts that she didn’t even want to think about it.

“Not yet,” she finally said. “But for right now it’s enough.”

“Do you have someone special in your life right now?”

Iris grinned at that. She was shameless about the man in her life. She didn’t mind sharing that aspect one bit.

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

Jesse looked surprised, but Iris ignored her.

“Really? What’s his name?”

“His name is Barry.” Iris beamed.

“How long have you known each other?”

“Just a few weeks, but I feel like I’ve known him my whole life.” She sighed happily.

“Where did you two meet?” Jesse asked, slipping into girl talk mode more than investigative reporter.

Iris hesitated. “…in a bar.”

“Ah.”

“A one-night stand I’ll never regret.”

“Mm.”

Iris could feel the waves of disapproval coming off of Jesse and immediately got defensive.

“How did you and Wally meet?” she asked, crossing her legs beneath the table.

“Well…as much as I’d like to say a study group or something of that nature, it was also a bar.”

Iris’ jaw dropped. Maybe she’d judged too quickly.

“No way.”

“Way.” She laughed. “Celebratory drinks after a successful Math and Science Club competition. Wally apparently saw me across the room where he was with his engineering buddies and had a drink sent over. I invited him to do karaoke with me and the rest is history.”

“You’re telling me my baby brother didn’t so much as make a move the night you met?”

“Well, there might have been some making out in the women’s bathroom after we sang karaoke. He was apparently shocked I could sing, on top of math and science genius.” She lowered her voice to confide. “I graduated high school at 16 too.”

“Am I supposed to be impressed?” Iris asked, even though the look on her face told Jesse that she was.

“Wally was.” She smirked.

“So, what are you now, 18?”

“Nineteen,” she said. “Close though.”

Jesse’s energy was contagious, and Iris found herself smiling. She liked this girl. She liked her a lot. She didn’t know if she trusted her with such a precious secret, but she liked her. She approved of her brother’s girlfriend.

Iris sobered up.

“Tell me why I should trust you, Jesse.”

Jesse grew serious too.

“Because I’m the only tie to you and the other West’s that genuinely has the best intentions at heart. I want to see your family whole again.”

“And if I tell you, you’ll what? Tell Wally and hope the information makes him instantly forgive me and we can tackle our parents together?”

“Something like that. Though I intend to make more of a game plan before just dumping all the information on him, especially given what he thinks of you right now.”

Iris stiffened. “Right.”

“Iris?”

“Mm?”

“He’s wrong. I know it.”

“And if he’s not?”

“We’re not family yet. I can choose to give you a second chance without Wally’s permission.”

“You’re gutsy, I’ll give you that.”

Jesse waited a beat then asked, “So? What do you think?”

Iris took a deep breath and then jumped in with both feet.

“Okay. Tonight. Meet back here five minutes after we close. I’ll let you in, and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Promise?”

Iris hesitated, but then nodded.

“Promise.”

…

Shortly after Jesse left, Iris decided she’d spent enough time at Jitters and wanted to go home.

Maybe Tom would be parked outside to take her to the hotel. He had been the past few days, but she was running out of clothes to change into for the next day at work. She should probably go home first and meet Barry at the hotel room later. They could have room service bring them a candle light dinner like they had last night and spend the night just relaxing with each other before inevitably having sex.

Well, maybe the sex would have to be delayed until later if she was going to come back to Jitters around 10 that night in order to talk to Jesse.

In order to talk to Jesse.

Wow. She couldn’t believe she’d actually agreed to that. This would change everything.

A heaviness settled over her that she quickly shook off. She could think of the gravity of all of this when she came back later. Now she had to get some clothes and-

She paused. Because right there behind one of the glass windows was her tall, handsome man, Barry Allen.

Her heart leapt into her throat, and she hurried outside to greet him by jumping into his arms. He laughed and held her tight before setting her down and kissing her.

“What a greeting,” he said, smiling wide.

“I’ll say.”

Her eyes were bright, and her cheeks were flushed.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and swept his curled finger across her nose, cheek, and chin. She was smiling wide when he finished.

“You take my breath away, Mr. Allen.”

“That’s at least one good thing I can do today,” he said.

Iris started to frown.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

He sighed.

“I have to work late tonight, really late. You can still come to the hotel if you want to, but I don’t know how much I’ll be around.”

“I thought you’re only on call for late nights, not actually scheduled.”

“Yeah, well, this one unfortunately was scheduled, and I just was not informed until today.”

“I see.” Her face fell.

“I’m sorry.”

He weaved his fingers through her hair, and she looked up at him.

“I still want to go to the hotel. We can have dinner together at least, yeah?”

He forced a smile. “Sure, Iris.”

“Oh, but first we need to stop at my place. I need more clothes to work in for the rest of the week.”

“Don’t you ever get a day off?”

She laughed. “Day after tomorrow is my day off, so I guess technically I only need one more dress.”

“You like wearing dresses?” he asked, sneaking his arm through hers and guiding her across the street to where the limo was waiting for them.

She nodded as she stepped into the vehicle, smiling at Tom as she went.

“They’re fun to wear.”

“Easy to get out of too, I imagine,” Barry murmured, and Iris knew they’d only half be eating dinner that night. The rest of the time would be taken up with losing themselves in each other in the best way they knew how.

“You’ve learned that easily enough that week, haven’t you?” she teased.

He chuckled. “It’s been a fun lesson to learn.”

“Then come here, Mr. Allen,” she said, pulling him near her. “Show me what you’ve learned.”

He went with her and plastered a sexy grin on his face.

“Gladly, Ms. West,” he said, and slipped his hand up her dress to squeeze one ask cheek underneath.

Iris yelped, and Barry swallowed it with a kiss.

Just beyond them, Tom brought up the partition and turned on the music.

…

In the middle of the night, adorned in all black, Barry stepped into the shadows of the museum in downtown Central City.

He’d taken down the security system and the laser defenses and was now lying in wait for the criminals to come and take their prize – or attempt to take thei, the stunning painting with a usb inside that detailed important government information that was best kept out of their hands.

“Are you in, Barry?” Felicity’s voice said directly into his ear.

He pushed the com in closer and lowered his voice to almost silent.

“Yeah, I’m in. It’s quiet as a mouse in here.”

“Not for much longer. Look to your left.”

Barry pushed himself further back into the shadows and looked to his left as Felicity had instructed.

“I see him.”

“He has two guns on him. See the bulge at his ankle?”

“Yeah, I see.”

“We have to catch this guy and whoever’s with him. I’m your back-up, Barry. Follow him to the painting.”

“On it.”

And so, Barry waited a till the man started to move, foolishly right into the moonlight on his way to the painting. He followed him then, discreetly. From room to room he waited, making sure he didn’t make a sound with each step he followed him.

Then they were both inside the room where the painting resided, and Barry pulled a gun out of his pocket.

“It’s over, Slick.”

The man spun around just as he was about the reach for the painting.

“Who are you?” he gasped, and Barry realized at that moment that this wasn’t the guy they were looking for this. This was an amateur. And why would a professional use an amateur to come steal his prize possession?

Unless he knew someone would try to stop him…

“Hello, Mr. Visier.”

Barry turned around, the name he’d put on his job application familiar to him.

“I knew it was a mistake hiring you, but I did it anyway.”

Barry’s brows furrowed. “Wha-”

The man punched him to the ground, and then a few more times until he was unconscious.

“Barry! Barry, are you all right? Barry?” Felicity’s voice sounded in his ear, but neither men heard it.

The sound of Barry’s bulletproof vest being unzipped was heard in Felicity’s ear as well as a gunshot following it. Her eyes widened in a panic. She clutched at her speaking device.

“BARRY!”

…

After a romantic, steamy early evening with Barry, the last thing Iris wanted to do was go and tell her dark life story to Jesse Wells.

Still, a promise was a promise, and since Barry was gone when she woke up from her post-coital nap, she decided to get ready in the clothes she’d come in and head over to Jitters.

What she didn’t expect was the brunette not to show.

Iris waited over an hour and actually fell asleep waiting until a pounding at the door woke her. She sat up immediately, expecting it to be Jesse, but the sight before her stole her breath.

It was Wally.

Unsure of what was going to happen, she reluctantly made her way across the shop and unlocked the door for him.

“Wally, what are you-”

“So, this is your meeting spot, huh? With my girlfriend?”

She froze. “She told you.”

“No. She came over and this fell out of her pocket.”

He dropped the small recorder on a nearby table. Iris’ eyes widened. She’d had no idea Jesse had been recording her.

Wally pressed play on what he presumably wanted her to hear.

“Okay. Tonight. Meet back here five minutes after we close. I’ll let you in, and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He stopped the recording.

“So, what exactly were you going to tell her?” He took a seat at the table. “Because I’d love to know too.”

Iris bitterly sat back down and glared at him.

“You came late for someone who was following instructions.”

“Who said I was following them?”

“You had a fight,” she deciphered.

“You had no business getting my girlfriend involved.”

Iris scoffed. “She got herself involved. Sought me out. Twice!”

“You should’ve denied her.”

“Why? You afraid I’ll tell her the truth?”

He laughed. “And what is the truth, Iris?”

She was about to answer, about to spit something truly awful back in his face, but her phone rang in her pocket. She saw it was an unknown number and ignored it, but then it called back again and again, and so she stood up and answered it, much to Wally’s dislike.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Is this Iris West?”

“Who’s asking?”

“My name is Felicity Smoak. I’m a co-worker of Barry’s. I was with him during his… During his shift tonight.”

Iris got a nasty feeling in her gut. She slowly sat down at the next table over to gain some privacy from Wally’s glaring eyes.

“This is Iris,” she said, her voice quivering.

There was a pause before the woman continued.

“There’s something you should know.”

...

*will be posted on AO3 and FFnet when beta’d.

[aliensandartifacts]

Melania

Mel heard her TA, Gretchen, cough, possibly choking on her coffee, before she’d even looked up at Clint who was sitting in the front row.  “I...I mean Dr. LaVeau…sorry...sorry, Doctor.  LaVeau.  I forgot.” The Freshman quickly corrected as Mel’s eyes raised to pin him, her face still looking down at her notes on the lectern that her laptop was perched on.

They’d been in the middle of a lecture on her excavation in Peru that had been with Devlin McCormick and Danforth Jones decades in the past when Clint had interjected.  He was young, he was eager, and he often tried Mel’s patience.   Part of that was that he seemed to have an innate sense of picking up on the truths about things hidden in plain sight, whether they be about aliens or the supernatural.  Once he did get a hold of one of those, he was hard to get off of that topic.   Something told her that he would one day be working for her, or alongside her.

“Better, Clint.” A smirk formed on her face as she stepped from behind the lectern and over in front of the table that was up on the riser that she was on.   There were almost 100 students in her lecture and she knew them almost all by name because this lecture class actually wanted to be there.  They had discussions and were interactive, and she knew that if she tried to swing the discussion back where it had been going that they’d all be wondering why she didn’t answer Clint’s question.  Sliding to sit on the table, she crossed her feet at the ankles and let her high heel clad feet swing slightly.  “And yes, I did catch that episode last night.  Although I don’t believe that everything unexplained or unknown is,”  she brought her hands up in dramatic fashion and leaned forward, “***ALIENS!***”  The class all laughed at the slight crazed expression on her face  and the way she duplicated Giorgio Tsoukalos’ mannerisms as she said it. Mel chuckled as she sat upright and looked around the class again.  “Okay, so seriously, you know I do watch those and I also happen to enjoy a good binge on everyone’s favorite hot nerd:  Josh Gates.  Folklore and mythos all have some basis in reality but that doesn’t mean that everything is aliens, ghosts, or some supernatural creature.  There are real world explanations for many things that the people who came up with those mythos just did not understand.  However,”  she uncrossed her legs and leaned forward, placing her hands on either side of her thighs to hold prop herself up as she faced her class, “there are things that are unexplained.  And there are jellyfish, which I firmly believe are examples of alien life.” 

From there the discussion returned to the show that Clint had mentioned and Mel’s thoughts on it.  Areas she agreed, areas she disagreed, and her own personal observations having been to the site as both a tourist and a professional.  She engaged the class, challenged them, and in some cases flat out disagreed and pointed out areas where their logic and facts were flawed and wrong.  There were many areas where she admitted there was not evidence and that answers could not be found.  Could it be aliens?  Maybe.  Could it just be that modern man was looking at things with minds that were over complicating it?  Also possible.  It was hard to go back into the past and look through the eyes of those who lived then and know what exactly they were seeing and why they thought things should be done a certain way or how they necessarily did them.  At the end of time, she left them with a few thoughts and a promise that next time they WERE going to get through the lecture that they had skipped out on this time before sliding off and stretching her long denim clad legs and watching her students prepare to head out.

After telling Gretchen she’d see her in her office later in the day, Mel headed back to the lectern to shut down her laptop and get things packed up to head back out into the frey of the symposium attendees and try to make it back to her office in one piece.  She might once more take the back halls and tunnels after hearing her students talk about their experiences. Just as she had deposited her laptop into her messenger bag she saw a gentleman making his way to the front that she knew wasn’t one of her students, too old, but seemed to have something on his mind.

“Dr. Melania LaVeau.  Is there something I can help you with?”  She greeted him with an intrigued smile before he made it to the front of the lecture hall.

Tristan

He finished walking down the aisle and stood just out of handshake range.  “Just plain Tristan Beck.  I hope you don’t mind that I snuck in and listened.  I have a special place in my heart for anything Extraterrestrial.”  There was an awkward few minutes while he worked up the nerve to continue.  Since she outranked him in the education department, he decided to treat her like he would the principal of the high school he taught at.  “From one teacher  to another, I liked the way you handled the kid that asked the question.  I was just about to head up to the Astronomy symposium upstairs, but …”  He shrugged.  “I like Aliens.”  He blurted it out, much like someone might say they like mustard on their hot dogs.

Her laugh made him smile.  “Have you ever found anything in your research that made you pause and wonder if perhaps something or someone from a more complex universe had a hand in its creation?  The Nazca lines?  The Incan Calendar?  Okapi’s?”  At her blank stare he grinned.  “You know.  Giraffe’s only relative?  Looks like someone took a zebra and crossed it with said giraffe.”  That earned him another soft chuckle.

His phone pinged with an incoming message.  He looked down and his spirits  sank.  ~Tris, where are you?  Dr. Marks is about to talk and you’re not here.  Hurry up, there’s not many seats left and I’m thirsty!~

“Well, I gotta run. Apparently I’m not important enough to hold up a lecture on the possibility of planets that revolve around black holes.   I just wanted to thank you.  I enjoyed the lecture greatly.”  He didn’t hold out his hand for her to shake.  It was rude and stupid but he just couldn’t do it, so he smiled again and nodded as he turned away.

Melania

“Nice to meet you *just Tristan Beck*.”  Mel was almost chuckling as she called out to the intriguing gentleman as he started to head back toward the main aisle out of the lecture hall.  “You didn’t let me answer though,”  she paused as he looked back but continued to walk.  So she did have his attention.  Interesting. “Yes, I have.  I am a woman of science but I do believe we are not alone in the universe.  Aliens, spirits, paranormal, supernatural, I not only believe...I have seen proof.  Enjoy your lecture, but if you want to talk more, I’m one building over,”  she pointed in the direction that the building her office was in was located.  “Third floor.  If you can’t find it, ask where the Voodoo Princess Archaeologist is located.  I’m kinda famous over there.” She gave him a wink and saw his brows slightly draw together and that made her laugh again.  “You better hurry.  I’ve heard it’s a madhouse out there.”  She gave him a bright smile as he headed out. Shaking her head, she turned back and slung her messenger back up and over, crosswise over her body.  Deciding that she wasn’t wanting to brave the horde of symposium attendees and LSU students out in the atrium, she took the back door out of the lecture hall that would lead down to the tunnels that connected the buildings underground and were accessible only to faculty and staff.  One of the perks of the jobs, quick exits.

A few minutes later and she was up on the third floor and in her office, a new pot of Blue Mountain coffee started and her feet propped up on her trash can under her desk as she booted her laptop up to see what new and interesting excuses her students would have for wanting to turn in assignments late.   Behind her lining the built-in shelves were the many books on archaeology, history, and other various topics she found of interest along with various artifacts that she had legally collected over the years.  Some of what was on the shelves were painstaking reproductions of artifacts that she had discovered that had been respectfully turned over to the proper authorities, but which she wanted to commemorate discoveries that held significance.  There were days that she would look at many of them fondly.

About an hour after she had arrived back in her office, she received a Zoom call from a colleague who was doing an excavation with a team in Israel.  Mel pulled back her long, wavy, dark brown hair in a high ponytail to keep it out of her face at the beginning of the call.  As normal, she frequently gestured with her hands as she talked.  Her silver toned rings caught the light and the colors of the items in the room as her fingers flexed and moved.  A few of the rings had stones in them that coordinated with what she had on.  This day it was pink jasper and lapis, matching the creamy pink of her sweater and the dark blue of her jeans.  On her right thumb was a teardrop shaped amber ring that was made from a piece she had personally found and was mounted in a setting that appeared antique.  It was the most elegant piece that she had on, and one that she wore daily.  Rarely did she wear gold, and seldom gemstones of any kind unless attending a formal function.

She had just ended the call and refilled her “Forensic Anthropologist:  I’d find you much more interesting if you were dead.” coffee mug when there was a knock on the door.  “Come in, but you better have chocolate with you!”  Mel teasingly called as she spun her purple and yellow LSU Secretlab gaming chair back around.  “OH! Oops, sorry, I thought you were a student.”  Mel laughed when she saw who it was.  “Come on in, no chocolate required as an offering this time.”