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ghostytoad · 1 year ago

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hey!! if you’re taking requests, i’d like to request the rottmnt boys falling for a fem! reader who’s basically like your stereotypical raph. she loves fighting, loves working out, loud asf, short-tempered, blunt, sarcastic, cursed with resting bitch face, all that jazz. but, once you get to know her, she’s actually really funny and sweet. NEVER afraid to speak her mind, so she may come across as rude or sassy at times, but she never really means to be. DEFINITELY has mild adhd and is on the autism spectrum. 🫶

Hfhdks yippe, my v first request!! tbh the boys can use a little extra chaos in their life so this was really fun to write abt. hopefully it's decent, i'm still v new to writing this kinda stuff!!

* Kiss with a Fist *

ROTTMNT Boys x Fem! Raph-esque reader who is secretly a sweet softie

Summary: The Hamato brothers unexpectedly fall for an intimidating, snappy, but secretly sincere human.

Headcanons for: Raph, Donnie, Leo, & Mikey

Fem! Reader; Romantic; Fluff; Mild violence || Words: 4k

Feel free to send in more requests and prompts!!

Raph:

to be honest, raph was initially intimidated and wary of y/n when they first met

like sure, he's used to his brothers being a bit too curt and impulsive and april can come off as sassy and overbearing but none of that compares to the levels y/n is on

something about how forward she can be really puts the poor turtle on edge

until he starts getting to know her a little better, finding out more about her hobbies and all

after a period of initial surprise, he starts getting used to y/n's presence in the lair

she fits in almost naturally in their family dynamic; she's basically one of them now and he loves having someone around who shares his interests

plus he could always use a workout buddy; not that his brothers aren't good spotters but he could always use a break from their antics

will take y/n to every wrestling event & spend the entire time gushing about his newest wrestling idol and when they're not out and about beating up bad guys or playing video games, he will allow y/n to sit in and spot him while he powers through his rigorous workouts

he enjoys being able to swap workout tips and tricks with y/n; treats every little bit of advice she gives as divine wisdom & he will take it all to heart

he likes to brag to his brothers about how strong y/n is, especially considering that she can keep up with his mutant abilities; everything she does impresses him to no end

opened a jar of pickles without help? amazing

landed on her feet after a pretty high tumbling jump? absolutely incredible

being able to handle his occasional hugs? literally the best thing in the world to him

having y/n around motivates raph to train harder and push himself past his limits

unfortunately, this has led to a few injuries-

"uh oh. y/n ain't gonna be happy to hear about this..."

cue the scolding, the lectures, and the bedrest. y/n's orders. but raph secretly enjoys being doted on by y/n so he won't say no

it didn't take raph too long to realize his feelings for y/n

he'd been picking up on little hints here and there, but he'd talk himself out of that silly train of thought every single time

like when he'd catch her watching him train and could feel that rush of heat burn at his cheeks

'i've just been training too hard and it's way too hot in here'

and when he couldn't get y/n off his mind when she wasn't around?

'i'm just worried about her is all. who knows what kinda trouble her loud mouth might get her in-'

but it was when y/n was comforting raph after a bust mission one particular night that really did him in and confirmed his feelings

It's bad enough when the brothers fail in their latest mission, but to get their butts handed to them by Hypno of all villains? Eesh, talk about major humiliation stink. The loss had them all silently slinking back into their lair, hoping to sleep off the defeat at the hands of their unimpressive foe. Raph was just about to make his way into his room to mop when he spotted Y/N waiting up for them in the lair's living room. It was upon seeing her sitting there with an unreadable, stern expression that a realization hit him. They had plans later.

"Hey, sorry, YN. No Brunch 'n Punch tonight. Raph's a lil' tired..." his low and gruff voice did little to hide the timid air in his tone. "I-I'll make it up to ya though! Promise!"

Despite his stuttered attempt to console Y/N and her anticipated disappointment, his tired expression and wilted posture gave away just how exhausted and downtrodden the towering mutant was. It was more than enough to tell Y/N a few things:

Raph had another rough day.

Raph once again pushed himself and got hurt.

And Raph needed someone to help carry that weight.

Before he could continue his defeated shuffle past Y/N, he felt a sudden tug on the lip of his rugged shell. Not even a second after, he felt his torso being enveloped by the subtle warmth of what could only be a person. Was Y/N hugging him...? Looking down from his stunned silence, he found Y/N with her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, face hidden by the jutting ridges of his plastron. Unable to find the words to break the tense silence surrounding them, Raph simply lets out a low chuckle as his hand gently caresses the back of Y/N's head.

"If this is about me bailing on our plans, Raph gets it. You probably hate m-"

"What am I gonna do with you, Raph...? What am I going to do if you won't take care of yourself..." Y/N's voice was unusually small.

"Say what?" The mutant didn't know what to make of the wavering tone in Y/N's voice. Was she mad? Was she worried? It was unlike Y/N to be this... vulnerable.

After a few more moments of silence, Raphael broke out of his confusion with a realization. Y/N was still holding him. The exhaustion and shame began lifting its shrouding curse off of him as his body eased into the comforting embrace. So warm. So gentle. So caring. Everything about Y/N was perfect, even the parts of her personality that she chose to share only with him. It was then that another, more pressing realization came to his mind.

Damn, does this boy got it bad. He's in love.

Donnie

he's entirely put off by y/n's whole demeanor and keeps his distance at first; like raph on his own can be a headache to deal with, but now there's two of them??

he won't outright avoid her, he just prefers quieter company

he can't exactly say they share many similar interests, but y/n's newfound spot as a member of his little family gives him incentive to at least try finding some common ground to bond over

so when it comes to the more physical and brawn-heavy aspect of his work, he can truly appreciate y/n's constant presence

god knows he can't trust his brothers to be careful or attentive enough to help him in the lab and april isn't always around to enthusiastically offer her assisstance when needed... but y/n just happens to be the perfect solution to his otherwise frustrating problem

dare he say it: "she's reliable and more importantly always happy to lend a hand"

and donnie really values the way y/n is willing to listen to him drone on about his latest projects and mapping out his complex thought process; all with very little complaint (a huge plus for him!)

in fact, she even seems eager to learn and is quick to pick up on the nuances of his work. he can also understand/empathize with y/n's misunderstood demeanor when it comes to her stone faced expression ('or resting bitch face, as she so eloquently put it')

donnie's never been good at expressing himself; he knows how vexing it can be when everyone seems intent on misreading one's emotions based on something as fickle as facial expression

and the more time donnie spends with y/n, the more he's able to observe her and her subtle mannerisms

it's gotten to the point where he can pick up on her subtle cues and accurately read her mood better than anyone else. to his brothers, it's as if y/n and donnie share a telepathic connection with how easily they can communicate with a simple glance

it doesn't take long for him to get used to y/n's more rambunctious and wild behaviors; when he's not busy working, he will sometimes invite her on their less eventful missions and adventures

he won't say it out loud, but he's really come to respect y/n's combat prowess and her ability to hold her own

admires it even... one might even say he lov-

'nope. no. nein. not the l-word...'

donnie's always quick to catch himself before he can finish off that thought but he can't help himself; cute and mean are just his type after all

whether or not he chooses to pursue those feelings though....

well, let's just say y/n really didn't leave him a choice after she practically saved his life during one fairly unexpected encounter

It hadn't been a hard mission. The Hamato brothers had successfully thwarted another run-of-the-mill robbery at the appropriately named Run of the Mill Pizzeria. Relishing in their triumph, the four turtles, joined by their newest companion Y/N, decided to make a night of it and order a few celebratory 'zzas. It was as Donnie was making his way to the booth that he was halted by the stumbling grip of an iebriated yokai yanking him back by his shoulder. The patron's swaying form crumpled forward as they tried supporting their full weight on the hand that was still firmly locked on Donnie's shoulder.

"'Ey you.... I know you..." the strong stench of alcohol burned at the turtle's nostrils as he furrowed his brow in confusion, "Yer the guy from that brawl last night. Ya dropped my drink!"

Ah. Mistaken identity. Before Donnie could correct them, the yokai straightened in a menacing stance, lifting their hand's grip from him and balling into a fist.

"You... YOU! You owe me a new drink AND a new shirt! Ya ruined MY GOOD SHIRT!"

Ever the smug one, Donnie simply shook his head and with condescension dripped from his lazy grin.

"Perhaps laying off on the booze might help to improve your memory. You're clearly looking for a fight and I'm not one to hold back in battle." With a wave of his hand, he feigned a dramatic sigh, "But I'd reconsider what would be one too many bar fights. I mean, you've obviously done your brain enough damage."

What followed was the unmistakable and resounding thud of a body hitting the restaurant walls. The remaining brothers watched amusedly from their booth as the purple-coded brother peeled from the newly dented wall and collapsed onto the floor, dumbfounded and only mildly in pain.

"He'll be fine~" Leo mused as he caught sight of Y/N's horrified expression.

"He was kinda askin' for it..." Raph shrugged, unwilling to stop Y/N who was now stomping a warpath from the booth to the drunken offender.

"HEY, ASSHOLE!" were the only words uttered before Y/N's flurry of furious punches unleashed themselves onto the yokai's face. Donnie watched fondly as Y/N's strike after strike seemed to reduce the belligerent patron to a pathetic and unintelligable mess on the floor.

Something about her pose, the way her bruised fists were held up in triumphant victory as she loomed over the monster's unconscious form, seemed to pull at the deepest, darkest parts of the turtle's heart. Was she always this badass and cool? Was it the lighting? Was it the concussion setting in? Has she always looked this cute?

"Wow... You're incredible....." Donnie muttered under his breath with awe.

So much for science being his only love.

Leo:

honestly? the more chaos, the better

raph is great and all, but he always had the annoying tendency to boss everyone around, and his ever-growing worry chasm was really starting to irk leo

so it's great to have someone around that isn't always on his case about his stunts or lecture him on dull things like responsibility and duty and all

while he does take into account the fact that Y/N is a human, she's a special human with special priviliges in his mind; meaning open invites to every mission (no matter how dangerous) and her own front row seat to every single convoluted plan leo's made

he's always there to actively enable her loud habits, he just lives for the banter and drama; he calls it his very own telenovela

obviously he'd never let her get too far into it and when things start getting a little too real, he will try getting y/n to tone down the snark and deescalate the situation

can't have his new bestie getting herself into trouble after all! and he'd never hear the end of it from his brothers if she ever got hurt bc of his encouragement

as boring as he finds training to be, having y/n around really helps to spice things up. he's always calling dibs on having her for sparring partner duties and won't hold back much

on the rare occasion that he's not getting into trouble and causing mischief with y/n, he'll show her around all the best stargazing spots new york has to offer (via portal ofc)

no reason in particular, it's just nice getting to see the stars past the haze of the city's light pollution and it seems like something friends do

'it's totally normal for friends to stargaze alone together, right?'

yeah, no he's sure of it. he just really happens to enjoy y/n's company without the constant interruption of his brothers' teasing

it's not like he's asked her to go with him on a magic carpet ride or anything

oh wait...

right, there was that one time when they decided to stop by the mystic city antiques shop and try out the dubiously named "magic carpet" the shop was selling. how was he supposed to know it was a flying magic carpet?? magic could literally mean anything!

he didn't complain when y/n would hold onto him as they weaved through the skies of the hidden city. and it was cute watching her face scrunch up with laughter every time he made a joke

but that's just friends being friends, right??

'this better not be what being wrong feels like because it's not a great feeling at all'

"Alright, Leo. This'd better be good for you to be calling me up at 3 in the morning." April's voice hissed through the call, still rough with sleep and irritation as Leo had called her up on a school night of all times.

Leo gripped tightly at the phone as if it were his only line of defense from the terrible, terrible ordeal he was about to confide. "Apes, you gotta help me! I think I might be losing my edge or something."

"Your... what?"

"My edge!" Leo reiterated, panic set in his tone, "My mojo! The Leo-factor! I think I might be losing it and I don't know how to get it back!"

A few moments of soft shuffling sounding from the phone's receiver met Leo's frantic explanation. April must've been slowly forcing herself to sit up from where she'd been sleeping peacefully only minutes ago.

"... don't 've time for this..." was all that could be deciphered between shuffles.

The disgruntled girl could only sigh, "Okay. Leo. What makes you think you've 'lost your mojo'?"

Leo paused in thought, humming low as he tried to recall his recent mojo-related blunders.

"Okay, okay, so! You know how Y/N's been hanging around the lair a lot more lately? It's like every time she's there, I get thrown off my game. And I mean, I really get thrown off! With everything!"

"Mhm?" April deadpanned.

"None of my one-liners seem to land with her and it's because I keep forgetting how to talk mid-sentence! So I end up sounding like some stuttering moron! And I keep running into things and tripping over my own feet when I see her like I'm the clumsiest chump alive. And just the other night I was out testing the sickest tricks on Mikey's new board- don't let him know that by the way- when she shows up outta nowhere with her smug little smile and throws me off my moves! I mean, all I see is her eyes on me and the next thing I know, I've got a mouthful of gravel and concrete. It's like she's sapping all the cool out of me and I need it to stop like yesterday!" Leo had to take a moment to catch his breath as he explained his troubling situation, clearly unaware of just how clueless he was. April could only wait silently for the information to sink in, a sleepy scowl painted on her face. God, she could just strangle the boy if he were here.

"So you're telling me that you called me up in the middle of the night to tell me that you have a crush?" she hissed once again, the gritting of her teeth audible.

"A what? Crush? Oho, no no no no." the mutant scoffed in disbelief, "I'm telling you that Y/N could be a witch or some kind of energy vampire or something and we-"

"Leo, let me ask you something. What's more likely: The fact that Y/N is a mojo-sucking vampire witch or the fact that you may have some feelings for her?"

The thought hadn't really occured to him before. Could it really be something as simple as a crush that's doing him in? He had been feeling a little different as of late... But he just assumed it was all from the mutant witch powers Y/N might've been using on him. He took a few moments to contemplate, a dark blush gradually forming across his face the more he thought of Y/N.

Well, what's not to like about her? She's a certified badass, she's cool, she's never afraid to give it to ya straight. And underneath that tough exterior was an equally cool but much softer version that balanced out Leo's more impulsive and emotional side. Could it really be that Leo had feelings for Y/N?

".... Do you think Donnie can run a few tests to find out what kind of witch she is?"

"I'm hanging up now, Leo."

"NO, WAIT, I-" Dial tone.

Crush it is then. Man, did he hate being wrong.

Mikey:

ever the eternal optimist, mikey is never one to judge people and gives them every benefit of the doubt until he's forced to believe otherwise

so when he first meets y/n, he takes to her standoffish nature like bees on honey

instant besties right off the bat, even if they have their differences

he's quick to introduce y/n to everything mutant turtle life has to offer, whether it be inviting her over for a few rides on the half-pipe or introducing her to the cinematic magic that is jupiter jim and its many sequels

no matter what they do, he's always there to make sure she's having fun

mikey picks up on y/n's kinder side pretty quickly too

being emotionally intuitive and a self-proclaimed therapist, he is able to see through y/n's more abrasive personality and finds her gentler side to be just as exciting and fun, if not incredibly endearing

he'll even encourage her to be more open with that part of herself by insisting she join him in his little Dr. Feelings sessions he regularly holds for his brothers (totally not against their will)

during the whole session, he'll check in on y/n and ask if she has any thoughts on the matter

"what about you, y/n? you've been around us long enough to get a say. am i right or am i totally right?"

he knows he can trust her more blunt and forward nature to lay it down as it is

but he can also trust that she won't say anything to hurt them just for the sake of it

so she's a perfect fit for the role of Nurse Candid/Assisstant Tough Love

funny thing is, Dr. Feelings can't really talk mikey out of making a fool of himself in front of y/n

he tries not to be too clingy or push too many boundaries, but how can he resist?

she's like the highlight of his little adventures and he genuinely enjoys having her around all the time that he just *needs* to understand every part of what makes y/n her

together, they'd make the ultimate power couple!

er... power couple business-wise

purely professional in this unofficial practice

'unless.....'

time for the Love Doctor to pay mikey a little visit

"Candles? Check. Fancy silverware? Check. A deliciously decadent three course meal prepared by your truly? Check." Mikey took a moment to look over his fine work as he finished setting up a "platonic-but-can-be-romantic" dinner for Y/N. He'd been hard at work all week trying to come up with the perfect excuse to invite Y/N to the lair alone. It wasn't a date or anything! Well really, that was the trouble with this whole thing. It had to strike the right balance of friendly and intimate. With a hint of romance drizzled in. And a sprinkle of platonic fun. Gah, what a confusing mix.

Sighing thoughtfully, the young turtle set down the two artistically prepared culinary plates on the now satin-draped dining table that sat in the center of the projection room. Sure, it might've been a bit cliche but the quiet ambiance of the room was the best choice for a romantic candlelit dinner. Plus if the whole romance angle didn't pan out the way Mikey had hoped, a movie marathon would surely break the tension and shift gears into friendly hangout mode. Everything about this night had been planned to a T, down to the fact that his brothers were busy on another patrol that was sure to take all night.

The orange-clad mutant gave the setup another quick once over and, satisfied with his creation, glanced up at the clock that sat above the projector screen.

"7:18 and I still got a few precious moments to spare!"

"Spare for what?" a muffled voice asked from the door.

Oh no. What were they doing here?!

"Hey hey, little brother~ Nice setup you got goin' here. Very élégante~" Leo teased with his mouth full of pizza.

"L-LEO?! I THOUGHT YOU GUYS SAID YOU WERE GONNA BE OUT UNTIL MORNING!"

"Uh, yeah? The patrol was supposed to keep us 'til morning." Leo shrugged nonchalantly as he licked pizza sauce from his fingers,"But as it turns out, Donnie isn't the math wizard he seems to think he is."

"SCOFF! My mathematical genius is not to be held accountable for YOUR poor planning!" From behind Leo, Donnie stormed in with an incredulous look as pizza sauce drenched his face and upper body.

"Look, if anything, MY PLAN did not call for explosives. That was all you, buddy!" The twin retorted, poking at Donnie's sauce-covered chest with his trusty odachi. Mikey could feel his right eye twitching as he watched the two bicker and consequently ruin his plans.

He seethed through gritted teeth, "You guys were supposed to be gone..."

The strained response brought the two brothers' attention back to their youngest sibling, both raising a brow in question.

"Oh yeah, what IS with this setup?" Leo's cocky smirk did little to hide the teasing behind his question. Did he know?

"Oi, guys! We still gotta clea-" Raph stumbled in, wiping his body down with a red soaked towel as he was presumably the most sauced up of the three. "Woah. Whatcha got going on in here, Mikey?"

Great. Just what he needed. As he did his best to keep his composure, all Michael could do was groan and slump down to his knees, withering with embarrassment before his brothers. "If you guys MUST KNOW, I had a very special night planned for me! I was gonna have a nice dinner with Y/N before you came back and messed with m-"

"Woah woah woah, are you telling me that my baby hermano has a date tonight?"

The heat suddenly rushed to Mikey's cheeks, taunting him and exposing his true motives to his brothers of all people. Raph and Leo compounded that humiliation with their slew of 'aww's and coos. Donnie simply gave his little brother an approving nod and thumbs up as the duo's teasing continued.

"I-It's not what it looks like, I swear!"

Oh, it absolutely was.

"It's not that I like her, I just-"

Want her to be mine.

"I just needed to figure out how I feel!"

But he already knew. He was hopelessly in love.

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end-otw-racism · 1 year ago

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Sustained Action

Now that the deadline for membership to gain eligibility to vote in the upcoming OTW Board Election has passed, we are moving into our second – and arguably most important – phase of this action.

Having a Board in power motivated to enact changes is incredibly important, but as past history has shown, even the Board has limits against an organization that is resistant to change. This may make one wonder what is even the point of a new Board if the organization is going to fight them along the way, and potentially obstruct any push for change from the top. It is a fair concern, which is why our Second Call To Action focuses on two major paths. The first is voting for the new Board members, which is essential, and the second includes all of fandom, voting and non-voting members alike, creating a groundswell of public support for anti-racist change and scrutiny on the organization as a whole. This action must be continuous and sustained.

It is not enough to elect a Board, if the Board is dependent on un-elected committees to function. The Board also needs a mandate from fandom in support of change. Change doesn't happen only at the ballot box, change happens on the ground, with individual people speaking up and showing that they are not OK with the status quo. It's with fans speaking to one another and agitating and demonstrating and demanding change.

This is what we did with our first Call to Action and it's what we will continue to push to do from now through the election.

We need to show the entire organization and the OTW that this is a matter of deep importance to fandom; this is not something we are going to ignore or let die down, this is not something we are going to vote about once and forget. We're willing to continue the ongoing work of pushing for change and fighting to make fandom a welcoming space where all fans can find pleasure and escape. Our first action mentioned ongoing transparency, and we're committed to pushing for that transparency and continuing to hold the organization accountable to their promises.

We'll continue writing letters and showing up to board meetings with questions about what the OTW is doing to create an anti-racist space. We also want to demonstrate support to the volunteers within the organization right now who would like to see the changes we are pushing for as well. Many have expressed wanting change but have felt disempowered, and kept silent knowing the machinery of the system will just chew them up and spit them out – we want those people to know that we see them and support them in making the OTW and fandom better for all of us.

So update your pfps, spread the action on social media, change your fic titles and pseuds, write out your thoughts on the movement and post them on all your social medias and, if we are on them, tag us so we can boost those thoughts.

We will be having more events in the coming weeks, and we will be updating our socials with these activities, but we also encourage you to sign up with our form to receive updates about these activities. We're enthusiastic about continuing to push for our goals and getting people involved, so look forward to that! It’s gonna be a lot of fun!

#otw #ao3 #archive of our own #organization for transformative works #fandom #end otw racism #vote to end otw racism

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rataccatak · 2 years ago

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major grom/plague doctor pages that made me feel big emotions (pt 2.5/3)

yall im SO sorry for the long wait. It's been a year since I've sat down and did some Thinking bout this comic but my love for this franchise is immune to hiatus. I was orig gonna go chronologically but I wanted to post something rather than nothing so here is a panel I've wanted to scream about ever since I first read it.

"I'm not ready to lose you again" scene (Plague Doctor issue 14)

We all knew this page was coming; it is so fucking good. Surprisingly though, it's not the final hug that gets me as much as THIS PRELIMINARY SCENE RIGHT HERE.

Despite Sergey's queercoded flirtatious presence, he doesn't really show much physical affection towards anyone (at least, not in a vulnerable & genuine way) WHICH IS WHY I WENT APESHIT WHEN I SAW THIS. It shows a level of vulnerability that Sergey doesn't ever truly share with anyone because of course, it's reserved for Oleg and OF COURSE it has to come after he tells Oleg to SHOOT HIM if he ever comes close to putting his life at risk. It is SUCH a great moment in Sergey's development--not just the rearranging of his priorities (shifting from his plague doctor mission to Oleg), but his willingness to relinquish control to Oleg. He doesn't say "let me die" or "run away" or even just "stop me," motherfucker says SHOOT ME. It's, of course, a parallel to Sergey's attempted murder of Oleg in The Game, only now Sergey is willing to put himself in the same position as Oleg WITH the motivations REVERSED so that he intends to SAVE Oleg by letting himself get shot. Like. Poetic cinema. What the actual fuck.

Also, "your faith is the only thing saving me" is the most beautiful thing I think I've heard in my entire life. It's easy to think of Sergey as this laidback and callous terrorist who doesn't really interact with the human tragedies of his actions, and to an extent, this is true (he is VERY MUCH an "ends justify the means" kinda guy). But I think his remorseless attitude doesn't stem from an inability to grasp how truly awful he is, but rather, from a hyperawareness of the human cost of his actions that eventually just pushes him to ACCEPT his own irredeemability. Kinda like "I'm already past the point of redemption, so why stop now?" way of thinking. This line confirms it for me. It communicates the absolute DEPRAVITY Sergey assumes of himself, his belief in his own irredeemability, and the acknowledgement that Oleg's trust in his goodness is the only thing stopping him from losing himself to that impulse. Oleg is Sergey's heart and moral center. He redeems and humanizes him when the world and Sergey himself is unable to (exhibit A and B below).

And it is so incredibly tragic. That shot of Oleg reciprocating the hug is pervaded with such desperate and futile but UNKILLABLE hope, like he's trying to physically cling to the person Sergey used to be (or more accurately, who he thinks he is). There's even a role reversal here; now Sergey is the pragmatist, and Oleg is the naive idealist, unable to come to terms with the limitations of his own control. And that sort of deliberate ignorance only further hastens the inevitable, and it is so tragic, this scene. Another reference to The Game with the power dynamics between Sergey and Oleg reversed: once again, Oleg puts blind faith in Sergey. But this time, it may cost him SERGEY'S life, not his. And to an extent, Sergey also put his blind faith in Oleg as well; when the chips are down, he trusts Oleg to shoot him before he can kill him again. Whether their trust in eachother is enough to save them this time... that question is left uncomfortably open.

#major grom #plague doctor #sergey razumovsky #oleg volkov #serovolk #bubble comics #im a mess in distress but i still love this comic to bits n pieces #i hope the pd fandom is still going strong you guys contribute more to this world than most governments

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arnamantle · 3 months ago

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Last Chance to pre-order BURNAWAY!

hello there! It's been nearly a year since the successful crowdfunding of BURNAWAY: A ttrpg about Loss and Hope from the Ashes. A lot of writing, editing, layout and logistics have happened since then, and the result is going to be even better than I had been hoping for. Genuinely, this book is gonna look dope. If you missed out on backing BURNAWAY last year, or are just hearing about it now, here's one more chance to pledge for a digital pdf, a lovely softcover physical edition, and/or one of three limited 8x10 posters!

BURNAWAY is a lightweight, self-contained roleplaying game for three to five players. In the darkening days of a possible near-future, fire is still a common cause of lost homes and tragic deaths. However, not every spark is started by a flicked cigarette or a faulty wire. Some wandering spirits, whose sorrows lash them tight to this world, can become so distraught that their very ectoplasm combusts, starting a blaze wherever they seek to haunt; we call these troublesome phantoms embergeists. Regular firefighters aren’t trained to deal with this supernatural threat; extinguishing one fire means little when an irate ghost kindles many more at the same time.

Enter the Burnaways. A Burnaway is a professional, for lack of any other unifying factor, contracted by a private company to swoop in as soon as a report of an embergeist comes through. Burnaways come from all walks of life, though most are trying to leave dark pasts behind. Exceptional danger for unexceptional pay is a hard sell for anyone save those individuals motivated by desperation, personal atonement, or something else that’s worth walking through fire for. Disparate backgrounds bring together a team with all the skills needed to maneuver through blazing buildings, locate and rescue victims, and even exorcise an arson-inclined specter.

This is a game is about loss.

Fire destroys things we can’t ever recover, whether they be treasured possessions or beloved lives. Regardless of how much we try to prepare for it, we all inevitably lose things we care for, as lights that are snuffed out, leaving our lives darker in the void.

This is also a game about confronting and processing that loss.

When we suffer loss, we fill that void with grief. Sometimes, grief props us up and pushes us forward. Other times, grief threatens to pin us down until our pain buries us. But grief is an emotion, one which fades with time and care. Our relationship with grief determines what grief leaves us with when it’s gone. Grief gives purpose. Grief gives wisdom. Grief gives scars.

As a Burnaway, you are a thief entering the house of Death and snatching back its claim. However, what you leave behind is just as significant as what you choose to take. This is a game about choices; do you rescue the executive or the janitor? The priceless hard drive or the poodle dog? Do you leave your comrade bleeding out to banish the geist and save many others? Or do you leave it all in order to save yourself?

Finally, and just as importantly, this is a game about hope.

When we encounter situations in which we feel powerless or that suffering is inevitable, despair is a rational response, while hope seems illogical. Fortunately, human minds are illogical things, and thus we can find ways to carry on and heal even after an unbearable ordeal, even knowing there are more to come in our future. This is a game that encourages the exploration of these familiar feelings and experiences without denying ourselves the light that always returns from the darkness.

A huge thanks to all who have supported this project from the concept stage three years ago to this point of being a real ttrpg! And again, if this looks cool to you, you can jump on board here!

#ttrpg #burnaway #indie kickstarter #indie ttrpg

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candyhxrts · 5 months ago

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i'm not sure who's going to see this, but it's just some motivation for myself (m3@nsp0). by the way, it's my first time so i'm trying to not make it cringy or weird or anything, just a way to keep my mindset the way it is and push through

have you looked in a mirror recently? do you really want to look like that when school comes around again- it's clear you've just been b1nging the entire summer away. remember that when your friends invited you to go to the mall, they were wearing cute crop tops and shorts, showing off their sl1m legs and fl@t stomachs, but instead, you had to wear something to cover up the f@t dripping off your belly. and when you guys ate, they took small salads and whispered about saving up calories for a tiny boba, while you ate calorie-filled junk, way past your limit. when school starts, who's gonna choose you over your sk1nny friends with their feminine bodies and thqgh g@ps. get a grip on yourself and f@st for a couple more hours. you still have a lot of f@t to lose so why are you sitting here eating stuff like a p1g. p1nch the freaking f@t around your literally invisible waist and between your legs; you should be ashamed. do you want to stay that way forever?

#4nor3xia #m3ansp0 #tw restriction #@n@ diary #⭐️rving #light as a feather #⭐ving motivation #tw ed but not sheeren #tw3d #anor3c1a #tw ana #tw ana bløg #tw ana rant #i want to be sk1nn1

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corvussnakee · 6 months ago

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Finally got to making this, YAHOO!!

Hello, Hello! I go by the name Corvus or Crow. Crewwii (Crew-ee) is also another name you could refer to me by. A lil cute, a lil silly, though the other two work just fine! I'm your friendly Non-binary failed concept of death fallen angel. I use the pronouns They/He. I present myself in a more feminine light, but I've grown up as a girl for most of my life so it's more so a comfort thing.

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I have ADHD and Autism, thus auDHD hit my ass like a truck. I can slip up and forget stuff a lot. Get super hyper-focused on something and then lose all motivation for it in what feels like a single snap. I also have terrible Executive Dysfunction which often limits what I can do. Though I push on through!- Depression, Social Anxiety, Maladaptive Daydreaming start sliding in with Sliding_Concrete.mp3 playing. ( ;+_+)

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I may or may not attempt to start streaming on Twitch... It's an iffy thing- I got the ball rolling though so, we'll just see how this all works out.

Besides all that, currently I've fallen down a good few rabbit holes. Specific ones would be:

- UNDERTALE (Multiverse specific) - WARRIOR CATS (Not as prominent, but there)

Other things have my interest but they're small. Little things that pop up every now and then and I go "Ooo, Cool!!" Focus on them for a bit, and then drop em. *Sadg (u_u )

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Some of yall may be from my big beginning days were I was posting little ask blog type stuff for my son, Rottenberry. I'll put a LINK to it here.

ALSO! IMPORTANT THING HERE!!

I AM A MINOR!!

I don't mind if people older interact with my posts, can't really stop that, it's gonna happen. Oh well *Shrug (*-* )

All I ask is people above the age of 20 do not DM me in any attempts to become friends, or moots, I dunno the fuckin words the kids these days use- (back in my day *Old man noises*) At least, new people who are above that age. I do have some already made friends who are 20+ but I met them like... years before so- Eh.

THOUGH! The DMing thing is only for attempted friendships. If you're DMing me to tell me about a problem going on, a dangerous person I should avoid, or even pointing out mistakes I made that are like... not good. Then go ahead. I don't mind. As long as conversation doesn't spiral past the line of acquaintances.

I think that's all... uhhh- Ya, Silly introduction!!

Edits may or may not be made - Last edited 07/09/2024

#introduction #introductory post #introduction post #pinned post #pinned intro #Crewwii #Corvussnake #meow #:3 #ADHD #Autism #auDHD #Executive Dysfunction #Depression mentioned #Social Anxiety mentioned #Maladaptive daydreaming mentioned #Utmv #warrior cats

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hob · 10 months ago

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"i used to love dancing so much but i had forgotten all about it."

fame brings in risk to your life and you will more often have to make personal sacrifices. it takes a special personality to thrive in the spotlight and it becomes increasingly difficult to handle fame without losing yourself and your driving force

there is no doubt that j-hope is special. j-hope has elevated the dance scene in the kpop industry and beyond and he is among the elite in the realm of skill recognition. j-hope is a performer by nature and he lights up the room with his presence. his dancing has the ability to attract people and to unleash positive energy. it is impossible not to smile when you watch him dance. j-hope proves that one of the highest experiences in life is bringing people together through the love for music and dance

the hope on the street docu series is for certain gonna encapsulate the devotion he has had to dance since his youth. j-hope has been surrounded with good people through his dance journey and gratitude is rooted deep in his heart. it is an honor to get the opportunity to get a greater understanding of his motivations. not to mention i am super intrigued to watch him dive back into the different street dance styles he has been fond of

watching the trailer alone had me in tears. i was reminded of the little boy who only dreamed of dancing and his mom who believed in his son and his dream. this sweet boy must have pushed his body to the limits a thousand times and more, trying so hard to perfect his dancing and performance. getting the chance to look back at his past from a new perspective and realizing once again just how far he has come fills me with immense love. it blows my mind how incredible he is. god i am so proud of him

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m34gs · 8 months ago

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Put your Fave playlist on shuffle and post the first five songs that come up!

Ok so I was tagged by @voxofthevoid in this post! I also prefer tag games to inbox chain games, so I will be treating it like a tag game as well! 🥰💜

My current favourite playlist is Villain Core (I don't have spotify so no link to the actual playlist), and it's made up of songs that give vibes of either villains, victims, or a backstory that could make what society would call a villain...because motive and character development is everything to me when I write 🥰🥰🥰

Alright, so:

Nameless by Stevie Howie (warnings: this song is about a man wanting revenge on the guy who assaulted his lover) I like the rage in this one, the utter desire to Destroy. And it feels like an excellent motive for murder in a story.

I'm Not a Vampire (Revamped) by Falling in Reverse. I love vampires and eternal damnation and desperation. Also the choir and orchestral music in the background slaps so hard and gives such a lovely, eerie feeling to it.

God Complex by VIOLENT VIRA. There aren't enough words to describe how much I love this one. "I'm gonna be where you are, doesn't matter how far, because we are meant to be. I'm gonna be what you need, Darling please worship me unless you prefer to bleed" *HELLO?* Ugh, I love me some yandere shit. And the desperate sound of the refrain? The attempt to pin the blame on the person being sung to? Top Tier villain shit. Love it.

Blood//Water by grandson. This one just really fuels my inner "eat the rich"; and gives me that "you made me what I am" kind of villain vibes and I love it. Tortured soul who finally unleashes damnation on the ones who wronged them? Then to only be portrayed as the villain for lashing out at the people who taunted and provoked them in the first place? So thirsty they don't care anymore if they drink water or blood? And nothing can stop the rage inside them? One of my favourite kinds of villains to write.

Give and Take by Poor Man's Poison. I really enjoy this song, very similar to Feed the Machine by the same group. It's about the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer until they've had enough and snap. Not only does this song help inspire me for writing greedy, selfish villains, but it is yet another one that inspires me to write victims pushed so far past their breaking point that society would rather label them a villain than actually identify and solve the issues that led them to that path. One of my favourite types of conflicts to explore in writing!

Hope you enjoyed the answers, my friend! I had to include little blurbs about the songs because I just love them so much. Lol, it's a good thing the limit was 5 songs because if given the opportunity I would talk endlessly about music I love and the themes and how it inspires me to write different villains and conflicts 🥰🥰🥰

Tagging: @kimium, @kamikazequail, @backwardshirt, @sithmonarch, @thedevilsfamiliar

#for fun #tag game #sort of lol #music #villain playlist

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juliannepepper · 1 year ago

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Day 8

The art of taking breaks

Woo! You made it past the first week of writing, and now it’s your second Wednesday of NaNoWriMo! Have you been writing every day? Have you been meeting your goals? If not, that’s totally fine. Look back on what you HAVE accomplished—you deserve a round of applause and a break.

A lot of people are losing motivation and easily getting burned out. I’m gonna share some tips that will help you balance your writing productivity (and not just for writing, but for basically every other aspect of your life). I will teach you the art of taking breaks

——————

The Pomodoro Technique

What is a pomodoro? It’s when you split your work into intervals with short breaks in between. The intervals can vary, but the standard interval is usually 25 minutes long, followed by a five minute break. It might not seem like a long time for a break, but that’s more than enough, from what I can tell. Especially when your break is just sitting there and letting it simmer.

After a certain amount of intervals, you can treat yourself to a long break. For me, I do six different intervals (that’s three hours of work!) and watch some documentaries to reward myself. This is a really great way to both instill staying focused and productive, and taking regular breaks! There’s a ton of pomodoro timers online, in app stores, and, the best part is that you can totally make your own. If you have a timer and some time, you can do it anytime anywhere

Having something to look forward to

Did you know about this psychological study meant to record reward systems? Picture this:

A group of kids were told to take a math test. They had some knowledge, but it’s not like we were testing them on their knowledge.

No, the ones conducting the study wanted to see the effects of reward systems on productivity and work morale. So, they told them to think of something that makes them excited, then, they took another math test to compare the scores.

Compared to when they first started, the children did SUBSTANTIALLY better when they thought of something that excited them.

The best part, almost every child had thought of the same thought. They didn’t think about winning a million dollars, or going to Disneyland, or riding a private jet. The one thought that made a majority of these kids excited was Jello.

Am I telling you to take breaks by rewarding yourself with Jello? No. But what I am telling you, is that rewards can be much simpler than you realize. Before you work, plan on doing something to reward yourself once you’re done. Not only will it boost productivity, but it’ll make everything worth it once you’ve gone through a day well-spent. Who knows? Maybe your ideal reward is Jello.

Knowing your limits and when you push them

It’s important to test your limits by pushing them. I believe that knowing how far you can go and what you’re capable of, and knowing when to quit is one of the most important aspects in life. Of course, it’s not a binary system, and there are some margins for error. But, that’s the great part about it, we can constantly see where our limits are, and we can even stretch our limits!

However, no one ever tells us what to do once we get there. What happens when we’re at our limit? What happens when we feel exhausted and burnt out? Well, I propose a formula for you. If you feel exhausted and you want to take a short break, I would go down this list:

Shower

Eat and drink water

Sleep

If you feel tired, the first thing I want you to do before trying to sleep is to take a shower. So many problems in life can simply be solved by making sure you’re clean.

If you’re still tired as hell, eat a snack and, most importantly, DRINK SOME WATER! A lot of people feel exhausted when they’re dehydrated and they don’t even realize it.

If you’ve tried the previous two steps and you’re tired, just go to sleep.

#nanowrimo #writeblr #writers on tumblr #nano 2023 #creative writing #writing advice #writing #writing tips #make sure you’re taking care of yourself #aspiring author #author

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lunapaper · 2 years ago

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Album Review: 'That! Feels Good!' - Jessie Ware

What’s Your Pleasure? arrived at just the right time.

Along with Lady Gaga’s Chromatica, Kylie’s Disco, Rina Sawayama’s debut album SAWAYAMA and Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia, Jessie Ware’s fourth album offered sweet disco pop escapism during the first few months of COVID lockdown, turning the kitchen floor into the dancefloor and evoking sweaty, lustful neon-soaked fantasies. It’s an almost immaculate record; a glossy, seductive cut of pure pop elegance.

The British singer’s latest album, the beautifully titled That! Feels Good!, further doubles down on the sparkling kitsch and melodrama.

‘I’ve put aside years of anxiety, imposter syndrome and all that fretting and feeling like I’m not good enough,’ says Ware (via Clash). ‘It’s not necessarily bigger or better than the last album, it’s more about turning the volume up and embodying that real, deep, sexy, bloody gorgeous groove.’

If What’s Your Pleasure? was plush and luxurious, then this is frothy and flirtatious fun, dropping the ‘nu’ from nu-disco almost completely with funkier basslines, huskier vocals and richer instrumentation as Ware reassembles the Pleasure dream team, including producer James Ford and singer/songwriter Shungudzo Kuyimba, and even recruits Madonna’s Confessions on a Dancefloor producer, Stuart Price.

That! Feels Good! is also much hornier than its predecessor, delightfully so. To put it in late 90s pop terms, it’s less ‘If You Could Read My Mind’ by Stars on 54 and more ‘Horny’ by Mousse T. In fact, Ware has made her very own ‘Horny’ in the form of the album’s standout track, ‘Freak Me Now.’

It’s rapturous ecstasy bouncing on top of a filthy, limbre, positively vulgar bassline, recalling the sassy and colourful energy of the Spice Girls’ ‘Who Do You Think You Are’ as well as the bawdy fun of ‘Horny.’ ‘Freak Me Now’ is Ware at her most wild and untamed, with joyous yelps and commands to get your body over here and get that ass on the floor – just try to resist it.

The singer makes for an incredible motivational speaker, compacting positive messages into catchy pop hooks. The ‘Funkytown’-esque ‘Beautiful People’ implores you to give her your love, driven by hypnotic cowbell and a side order of sass. On ‘Free Yourself,’ she encourages listeners to keep moving up that mountaintop, led by euphoric stabs of 90s pop piano in the same vein as Cece Penniston’s ‘Finally.’

Playful and tongue-in-cheek, That! Feels Good! showcases a more confident and self-assured Ware. On the title track, she demands, ‘If you’re gonna do it, do it well,’ led in by a chorus of breathless chanting that includes Benny Blanco, comedian Aisling Bea and actors Jamie Demetriou and Gemma Arterton, as well as fellow dance divas Kylie and Roisin Murphy.

‘Begin Again,’ has her longing for sweaty human contact, strutting across the floor with a sexy samba-adjacent beat as she shrugs off the daily grind. ‘Shake the Bottle,’ meanwhile, is cutting and cool as ice, envisioned as a possible Lipsync for Your Life entry on RuPaul’s Drag Race as Ware amps up the camp, listing off a bunch of paramours who’ve done her wrong. It pushes the limits of innuendo more so than What’s Your Pleasure? as the singer provides instructions on how to make her bottle pop (‘(Ooh-ah!) Flip the switch and flick on the flame/(Ooh-ah!) Pour the love like strawberry rain/(Ooh-ah!) Shake it, shake it and put on the top/That's the way to make my bottle pop!’).

The album’s true mission statement, though, can be summed up on the champagne-soaked decadence of ‘Pearls.’ Here, Ware proudly considers herself lover, freak and mother, the domestic colliding with the hedonistic in a glitzy cataclysm.

The singer has spoken in the past about the identity crisis she suffered after the release of 2017’s Glasshouse, struggling at the time to balance motherhood and pop stardom. In an industry notorious for treating women as invisible by the time they’re 30, the track is a bold assertion of Ware’s artistry, sensuality and femininity, taking back her power and unashamed of her desires.

That! Feels Good! also offers a couple of moments to catch your breath with ‘Hello Love,’ a jazzy summer montage with silky sax and an old-school soul groove courtesy of London Afrobeats collective Kokoroko, and ‘Lightning,’ recalling the sprawling cool of ‘Remember Where You Are’ and the moodiness of ‘Ware’s Devotion era, before ending the party with a bang on ‘These Lips.’

Shimmering and sensual with its stylish beats and flourishing horns, the singer’s lips are apparently a dangerous weapon: They can turn milk to gold, take you places that you never thought you'd go and even wanted in a hundred countries, maybe more! It’s a perfect combination of the album’s overall sweetness and sexuality, offering a wink and a smile before sealing things with a kiss.

That! Feels Good! proves once again that Jessie has the Midas touch. Everything she touches turns to gold, from the glistening production to the infectious joy that permeates throughout the record. It perfects the disco formula laid out by its predecessor and takes it to even greater heights with lashings of funk, jazz and French house, delivering banger after banger while never once feeling like it’s outstayed its welcome.

The album is a gorgeous glitter bomb of camp that would implode in lesser hands, just oozing confidence and sophistication while not taking itself too seriously. Ware’s bawdy humour only adds to the charm, especially refreshing in a genre like dance where cool is everything, though rather stifling.

Freedom is a sound, pleasure is a right, and That! Feels Good! shows Jessie Ware to be the perfect primadonna, just doing what she wants to do…

- Bianca B.

#music #jessie ware #that! feels good!#new #reviews #albums #Bianca B

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seijorhi · 4 years ago

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Inescapable

Part 2 of Always - another soulmate au with extra angst!

Oikawa Tooru x female reader, Miya Atsumu x female reader

TW toxic relationships, implied abuse, blind reader

“Stay here,” he murmurs, soft lips brushing briefly against your cheek before you feel his warmth retreat.

It’s an effort to quell the fleeting panic that rises in his absence. Japan is your home – was your home – but Tokyo… You’re not supposed to be in the village. Only the athletes, trainers and the support crew for the national team were supposed to stay there. It kept out distractions, made it easier for security, gave the athletes the space to focus on what they’re there for; to compete. To win.

You don’t know how he did it, what strings he had to pull, but somehow he’d managed.

A room for the two of you. Just the two of you.

“You’re staying with me,” he’d told you when you’d brought up the possibility of going home to Miyagi to visit your family, or even spend a few days with Makki and Mattsun. “I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

The words had been whispered, a soft, teasing purr as lips curled into a smirk at your neck, but you know what he’s like when he’s competing. The focus and obsession he’ll throw himself into.

Especially when you both know who he’ll be competing against.

Nevertheless, you’re here. Alone now, standing in a sea of strangers talking too loud in a cacophony of foreign tongues while Tooru left to go find his team–

Strong, familiar arms encircle your waist, a kiss pressed to the top of your head.

– but only for a moment.

“C’mon, cutie. Let’s get going – Coach gave us twenty before he wants us at the gym.”

—

You know one or two of the players on the national team from San Juan. They’re friendly enough, and they’ll stop and chat with you on the odd nights you venture out into the cafeterias dotted around the village for dinner. But for the most part they’re focused on other things and Tooru–

Tooru’s possessive enough of your attention at the best of times.

Which means that you’re either with him, tucked carefully under his arm as he guides you around the village, or you’re stuck in the room, bored out of your mind waiting for him to come home to you. And for lack of anything better to do, you have the games playing on the TV.

Just for the sound of your mother tongue filling the room around you. Just so you won’t be alone with your thoughts for too long.

It’s different, back home in San Juan. But you understand it – why he brought you.

“Where I go, you go, always.”

“Always.”

And the loneliness is worth it, you think, when he sinks down into the mattress beside you after a long day’s training and pulls you close, nuzzling into your side. This is better than being left behind. You’re here to support the man you love. Your soulmate, the name on your arm be damned.

His good luck charm, he hums, kissing you in the early hours of the morning before slipping away.

But even you can’t just sit around the apartment all day long. It’s good to stretch your legs, even when you’re in strange, unfamiliar territory. You tell yourself that what Tooru doesn’t know won’t hurt him, forgetting just for one blissful moment that your soulmate and his team are not the only ones who might catch you wandering.

Of course, that realisation doesn’t sink in until broad shoulders suddenly barrel past you, knocking you off your feet. And you would have fallen, awkwardly probably, had a pair of strong, lean arms not caught at your waist, steadying you.

“Jeeze, Bokkun! Watch where yer goin’, wouldja!”

The first voice, the thick, drawling Kansai dialect isn’t familiar, but the voice that follows is impossible to misplace.

“Thought I told you two–”

It cuts off abruptly, and in some distant part of your brain you register that the stranger’s still holding you, the warmth of his hand still braced on your hip, but all you can really focus on is the owner of that second voice.

“Iwa?”

Tooru had told you he’d be here, Hinata too and Kageyama. And of course Ushijima, but you’d assumed that – at least up until they played against one another or team Japan got knocked out of the running – they’d be busy and you wouldn’t cross paths.

There’s a surprised intake of air from your left – ‘Bokkun’, you imagine – and he asks, “Wait, you know her, dude?”

And still, the warm body holding you doesn’t move an inch. Not until a familiar, irritated huff sounds, “Get your hands off her, dumbass.”

The body behind you tenses for a split second before obeying, hands ripping themselves away from you as if he’d been scalded. “Shit, sorry!”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine,” you murmur with what you hope is a polite smile, only half paying attention because you can hear Iwa striding towards you. In one breath, he’s knocking back your saviour and pulling you into a one armed hug.

“Shittykawa said he’d be bringing you,” he says quietly as you squeeze him back. It’s been such a long time since you’ve been face to face with him. Tooru calls him to catch up most weeks, more often than putting him on speaker so that you can say hi, but it’s not the same. “Didn’t think he meant to the actual village, though.”

You’ve missed him, you realise. Him and Makki and Mattsun, and suddenly there’s a lump in your throat, emotions welling that you can’t name. There’s so much you want to say to him, things he knows but should be said anyway, but–

“Aren’t you gonna introduce us to your pretty friend, Iwa?”

Your cheeks heat as the two of you part, yet it’s Iwa who answers for the both of you.

“No. You two need to get your asses moving,” he says. “Back to the gym, now. Unless you wanna stay back after everyone else finishes up to run extra drills?”

It’s a clear dismissal, and the two only pause for a heartbeat before grumbling their assent – and one sheepish apology – and heading off to continue their run.

“Let me walk you back.”

Some things never change, you suppose. “Iwa, you have an Olympic team to train,” you tell him with a wry grin. ”I’m not going to risk being accused of sabotaging the Japanese national volleyball team just because you feel the need to be gentlemanly.”

It’s clearly meant as a tease, but instead of the good-natured huff you’re expecting, he sighs. “C’mon. You almost got knocked on your ass, let me walk you back.”

It’s not a suggestion, and as he takes you by the hand and starts leading you back the way you came you’re reminded of high school - he used to do exactly same thing any timeTooru wasn’t around. There’s a slight flicker of irritation at your first breath of fresh air without Oikawa’s overprotective hovering being snatched away, but you know he means well.

He always does.

So you shove those feelings down and offer him a smile. “You know I’m stupidly proud of you, right?” you tell him. “Both of you.”

And something in Iwa relaxes and he laughs, “Yeah well I’m just glad you’re gonna be here to witness me wipe the floor with Shittykawa’s ass.”

—

It’s late, and Tooru isn’t back yet.

And it wouldn’t bother you except that lunch had been hours ago, and your stomach is starting to growl, hunger settling in.

Tooru works hard, he pushes himself and stays late when he should be home resting, you know that, but even if you did want to go and find him, pull him back so that he won’t push past his limits days out from competing, you wouldn’t have a clue where to find him – not in this sprawling maze of a complex.

What else can you do but wait, as fifteen minutes turns into half an hour, then an hour, and suddenly it’s almost nine.

He won’t be happy that you’ve left without him, but either he’ll meet you at the cafeteria, or you’ll get home before he’s back and you’ll have dinner waiting for him. At this time of the night it’s likely to be empty anyway, it’s not like you’re running off in the middle of the dinner rush.

Most of the athletes’ll be back in their rooms, you’re not gonna get knocked around in the mad scramble for food, nobody’s going to pay you any mind.

But once again, you’re proven wrong.

It’s not quite the roaring din that you’ve come to associate with the dining hall, but you can hear a few quiet conversations scattered throughout the room. At least none of them pay you any heed as you slowly wander the buffet, shyly asking one of the servers to help you pick out something for you and Tooru both.

It’s not until you move to take a seat, hoping that Tooru will get there before you have to try and cart his dinner back to the room that you hear the unmistakable scraping of a chair being dragged back beside you.

“Ya know, Iwaizumi never did end up telling us yer name,” a familiar voice states, settling down into the seat. “He did end up making me ‘n Bokuto run extra laps as punishment for knockin’ into ya, though.”

Out of habit, your fingers fiddle with the sleeve of your jacket – Tooru’s actually – warmth flooding your cheeks. He doesn’t sound pissed off by the fact, and you suppose he probably wouldn’t have sat down beside you if all he wanted was to pick a fight.

“Oh, I’m… sorry?” It comes out sounding more like a question than anything else.

He laughs at that, the sound surprisingly warm and pleasant. “Nah, not your fault. Iwa’s a hardass at the best of times.”

“Sounds like he hasn’t changed much since high school,” you muse.

Oikawa might’ve been Captain back then, but that never stopped Iwa from slapping him upside of the head whenever he did something particularly stupid. He was a hard ass, but he was also incredible at keeping the rest of the team in line and motivated, and he kept Tooru grounded. He kept you grounded. Aggressive, tough love was simply a part of that.

You wonder distantly if his new team realizes just how lucky they are to have somebody like him in their corner.

“High school? Ya knew him back then?” he prods.

He’s a stranger. Not just a competitor, but ‘The Enemy’ just like Kageyama and Ushiwaka. Out of all the teams that Tooru might go up against during the games, you know that they’re the ones he’s most determined to defeat. And you don’t necessarily buy into the whole ‘destined rivals’ thing – Kageyama was never anything but polite to you, but you know you’re supposed to back your soulmate up on this. You know he’d be pissed to find you casually chatting away with any one of them, except maybe Hinata.

Maybe.

But it’s nice just to indulge in a conversation – even meaningless small talk – with somebody who doesn’t know you as Tooru’s. You can’t help but relax a little, the tension easing from your shoulders, a small smile creeping across your face.

“I’ve known Iwa since I was six years old. He’s one of my best friends.”

The man hums a little, his chair creaking as he leans back, “Really? He’s never mentioned ya.”

And it’s clear from the sharp intake of his breath that he regrets the words the moment they’re said, but instead of feeling offended, you simply laugh, the sound bubbling up before you can stop it.

“It’s fine,” you say when he tries to backtrack. “Do you often have deep and meaningful’s with Iwa about his childhood friends?”

He snorts, “Yeah, point taken, I guess. So how come yer here then? Didn’t think they allowed cheerleaders in the village, even the cute ones.”

Something flutters in your stomach at his tone; it’s warm like honey, just a hint of teasing. He’s flirting, you realise, and in an instant you know you should shut it down. Harmless small talk is one thing, but you’re–

You have your soulmate.

“What makes you think I’m not staff?” you ask instead.

“No uniform,” he counters, and you can’t argue with that. It’s not your fault that you can’t see what everybody’s wandering around wearing. “And you don’t really strike me as the ‘athlete’ type, no offense.”

You don’t really know how to respond to that, so you just shrug somewhat self consciously. He’s not wrong; you don’t really belong here, but you find yourself reluctant to tell him the truth.

The only reason you’re here is because Tooru cheated the system, because he couldn’t bear to be without you.

Or maybe because he knows how much of a mess you are without him. Blind and helpless without him to guide you, even here, back in the country you’d both left behind all those years ago.

“I’m here to support my soulmate,” you tell him instead, and it’s not entirely a lie. No matter what, you’ll always support Oikawa – here, back home, to whatever ends. That was the promise you’d made to each other long before you’d ever left Japan.

There’s a short pause, and you take the opportunity to turn back to the plate of food in front of you – you’d forgotten about it entirely. You half expect that he’ll take it as the perfect opportunity to politely bow out of the conversation.

You might’ve been blind, but you’re not naive; you know exactly what athletes get up to after the sun goes down in the village. There’s a reason that your welcome packs were stuffed full of free condoms.

And you’re not interested in that. You have Tooru and he has you. If that’s all that this guy is after; some quick, meaningless fuck, then–

“Volleyball?” he asks, and you almost roll your eyes.

He’s not wrong, of course he’s not, and you suppose considering your connection with Iwa it makes sense that he’d make that leap, but still. One track mind, all of them.

“If I tell you, you might not like me very much,” you say in lieu of an answer.

He leans closer, the chair creaking once more. “So I’m right.” He sounds so smug about it, you almost wanna tell him he’s wrong just to mess with him a little. “What position does he play?”

Not what team, what position. That, more than anything else, mattered to him – and again, you understood it. The pride players took in their position within the machine.

“You first,” you shoot back instead, because you feel like you have a sneaking suspicion.

And with a little huffing laugh, he confirms it, “Setter.”

Of course.

And the smile on your face tugs wider, a strange trill running through you, “Ah, and here I thought Kageyama,” you draw the name out, “was Japan’s starting setter.”

He scoffs, dragged in by your teasing jab, “Yer kiddin’, right? Tobio’s talented an’ all, but he ain’t half the setter I am.”

Cocky and smug. You wonder if he has the skills to back it up. Yet just as you open your mouth to pry further, you’re interrupted by a voice.

Several actually.

“Talking shit again, Miya?”

“Who’s she?”

“Oh hey – Iwa’s friend!”

And your heart skips a beat, your body tensing as those voices close in, more chairs being pulled out, trays of food dumped on the table as his teammates settle down around you. It’s just a name, one name. It doesn’t mean anything, doesn’t–

“Atsumu, why don’t you shut– oh. Y/N, hey. Didn’t realise you'd be here. Isn’t the village restricted to athletes only?”

Kageyama’s blunt greeting isn’t intended to be antagonistic, but it washes over you regardless. You’re frozen, heart pounding, a sick, twisting feeling settling into your gut.

Atsumu, he’d said.

Miya Atsumu.

Two words, and your world stops spinning.

You’d promised him – Tooru – years ago that the name on your arm didn’t mean anything. It was all just a cruel cosmic mistake because from the moment you met him, you were his, and he was yours and nothing else mattered.

And you’d told yourself that, repeated it like a mantra until you started to believe it yourself. Because Tooru loved you, you were his soulmate and what kind of horrible fucking person would you be to take that gift, that bond and shove it back in his face.

Tooru isn’t perfect, and he’d freaked out and lied to you, but he’s your soulmate.

The name on your arm didn’t matter, it didn’t matter that you didn’t know whose it was, because you had Tooru. It should have been his.

And you told yourself that for six months, until some blowout fight had Tooru storming out, you following in his footsteps.

It was a stranger, some random passerby in the street. You can’t remember what prompted you to stop her and ask, why it suddenly mattered when Tooru had all but convinced you that it didn’t, but you had.

Miya Atsumu. The pronunciation had been unsure, her tongue clunky over the foreign syllables, but in that moment when you’d heard his name every lie you’d convinced yourself of had fallen apart.

It was like you’d been drowning without ever realising it, and the second you’d heard that name a hand was dragging you up to the surface and suddenly air was flooding your lungs.

Miya Atsumu.

There are voices surrounding you, somebody laughing uproariously, but it’s all just white noise.

“Y/N,” a choked, hoarse whisper that shouldn’t have been heard, but it pierces you like a knife, cutting through everything else. It’s too much.

On shaking legs you stand, knocking your chair back as you grab for your cane.

The name hadn’t mattered, until you’d heard it. He hadn’t mattered, until he was standing right there in front of you.

“I– I have to go,” you mutter, not entirely sure if they heard you, or if they even cared. You leave your food untouched on the table, stumbling as you step back.

And again, you hear that whisper of your name. There’s a hand that reaches for you – his or somebody else’s you don’t know, you shrug it off regardless. “I have to go.”

Nobody stops you as you skitter back towards the entrance, but for once the cafeteria is silent. The moment you burst out through the double doors, the brisk, summer night air hits you like a slap, and you don't realise that your cheeks are wet with tears until the breeze cuts through, the damp skin prickling uncomfortably.

And the sob that follows rips through your chest like a knife.

This isn’t what you wanted.

If there’s a god out there, he must have a cruel sense of humour, because your name is being called again, and suddenly there’s a hand on your cheek brushing at your tears, an arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you close. “Cutie, what’s wrong?”

The scent of him, all citrus and summer, invades your nose as you clutch at him tighter. You can’t speak, can’t find the words to tell him, so you just squeeze your eyes shut and burrow into him.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he repeats, not asking this time.

You take a deep, shuddering breath. “I want to go home,” you whisper, clutching at his jersey. “I wanna go home, Tooru.”

A kiss brushes against the crown of your head, and you almost miss the sound of footsteps pounding on the pavement behind you – at least until the interloper speaks.

“You–” Atsumu breaks off, his breath ragged and raw, and you don’t miss the way that Oikawa stiffens, his grip tightening, fingers digging in. “Yer my soulmate.”

Three simple words, and everything, everything just falls apart.

Tooru snarls, taking a step back and dragging you with him. “She’s not your anything, Miya. Fuck off.”

“You can’t leave me! You can’t - you’re mine!”

It hurts, the grip he has on you. He’s trembling, from rage or fear you honestly don’t know, but you can feel his heart pounding a vicious beat as his arms lock around you like a cage.

“Yeah, that’s why it’s my goddamn name on her arm. Let ‘er go, yer hurting her,” he snaps.

“She’s my soulmate, so mind your own business and run off back home.”

You can’t breathe.

“Not when yer hurting her.”

It’s like the floor’s suddenly disappeared from beneath you, and you’re in free fall, hurtling back towards god knows what. Your head’s spinning, your legs feel like jelly, and if Tooru wasn’t holding you up against him, you’re not sure you’d still be standing.

You can’t breathe.

“Leave, right now,” he hisses. “She’s mine. She always has been, and always will be mine!”

You’d promised him that much, hadn’t you?

“Ya don’t scare me, and I don’t give a flying fuck if yer wearing her name on your arm. That’s my soulmate, and you’ll take yer fucking hands off ‘a her.”

You can’t breathe, not as the shouting gets louder and Tooru’s grip gets tighter.

He takes another step back, pulling you with him, and another hiccuping sob catches in your throat. You try to speak, to stop this before it gets any worse, but the words won’t come–

“You’re hurting her!”

“I LOVE HER!” he screams. “I would never, ever hurt her!”

“T–Tooru, please…” you beg. It’s little more than a whisper, and neither one of them seems to hear it.

But somebody else does.

“Hey, hey! What the fuck are you dumbasses doing?!”

Iwa, always your second protector, your best and oldest friend, wastes no time in getting between the two of them, shoving Miya back.

“What is wrong with you both?!” he snaps, grabbing you by the wrist and ripping you from Oikawa. And you don’t fight it when he tugs you towards him, a protective arm wrapping around your waist.

You cling to him, like a scared child with tears streaming down your face.

“Iwa–”

“No, shut up. I don’t wanna hear a single word out of either one of you! Not a goddamn word!”

He doesn’t bother berating them in front of you, though you know that’ll come later. He doesn’t say anything to you either, but his hand doesn’t leave yours all the way back to his apartment. Not the one in the village, but the one just outside of the city.

“You knew, didn’t you?” you ask quietly when he drops his keys on the counter.

There’s a beat of silence, and he sighs. “Yeah, I knew.”

It’s hanging in the air between you, like a dark, stormy cloud about to unleash. “Iwa,” you whisper, your bottom lip trembling once more. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know,” he answers, as honestly as he can. “But you’re gonna stay here tonight, and tomorrow I’ll call Makki and Mattsun and they’ll come and take you back to Sendai for a little while if that’s what you want. You don’t have to see either one of those assholes, not until…”

Not until you figure out how you’re supposed to make this impossible choice.

He squeezes your shoulder as you sniffle. “It’s gonna be alright, whatever you decide to do.”

Neither one of you truly believes that, but what’s left to say?

He hugs you again before he leaves, makes you promise to call if you need him, but you both know you won’t.

Not tonight, not when he has other priorities.

And then you’re alone, sitting on his couch surrounded by blankets with a mug of hot chocolate warming your hands. You know you should try to get some sleep, you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, but every time you close your eyes, you can’t stop thinking about it.

About the way Tooru’s voice had shook, how you’d smiled for Atsumu, that familiar warmth blooming in your chest when the two of you talked and you’d teased him.

And you remember how it was the day Tooru first told you that he loved you, the butterflies in your stomach the first time he’d kissed you, spinning you around and laughing as his lips met yours again and again and again.

How he’d yelled and screamed and fallen apart in your arms that night, begging you not to leave him.

You love him, for better or for worse, you love him.

A loud knock echoes through the apartment, shaking you from your thoughts.

It’s almost 2am, and nobody but Iwa knows you’re here. Nobody should be knocking, and so you sit, frozen in the dark listening as your heart hammers uneasily.

One beat, then two, and then–

“I know you’re in there, just– just please. I need… I need–” he breaks off with a frustrated huff, and there’s a low thud, like his head’s fallen against the door. “Please,” he begs, quieter this time.

There’s another thud.

“I need ya. Don’t lock me out, I’m beggin’.”

#yandere haikyuu #yandere oikawa tooru x reader #yandere oikawa tooru #yandere miya atsumu #yandere miya atsumu x reader #yandere atsumu #yandere oikawa #tw toxic behavior #tw implied abuse #blind reader

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tricksters-captain · 4 years ago

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Bucky Barnes imagines - Some Sunny Day Part 4

AN: What a crazy episode! I definitely think this episode was one of the best so far and I cannot wait to see what happens next after that insane ending!

Overall Summary: Before the Blip, you and Bucky were close. After you both returning and Tony’s funeral, you decided to go back to your home town to spend time with your family. When duty calls, you return.

In this chapter: Now in Latvia, you and the boys must find Karli before the Dora take Zemo away (Based on S1 EP4)

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3)

Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Sam Wilson x Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 6,123

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 4, violence, strong language.

Once inside Zemo’s apartment, you started to look through the cupboards.

Zemo had excused himself to take a bath but you felt starved.

Even with the limited stock you managed to whip something up for you and Sam.

“Thank you.” Sam took the bowl from you gratefully. The food Zemo had given you on his private plane wasn’t exactly edible and you were still feeling the affects of the Nagel fail in your body.

“Well, the Wakandans are here.” Bucky announced as he entered the apartment; having returned from his walk. “They want Zemo. Bought us some more time.”

“”Were you followed?” Sam looked up at him.

“No.” Bucky made his way over to you and Sam by the kitchen island.

“How can you be so sure?” Zemo pondered.

“Cause I know when I’m being followed.” Bucky sent an unimpressed glance to the man in the bathrobe.

You pushed a bowl of pasta towards Bucky but he shook his head and pulled out his phone.

“It was sweet of you to defend me at least.” Zemo stated.

“Hey, you shut it.” Sam quipped. “No one’s defending you. You killed Nagel.”

“You gotta eat.” You whispered to Bucky.

“Do we really have to litigate what may or may not have happened?” Zemo rounded the island so he was closer to you all.

“I’ll eat later.” Bucky mumbled back to you as he furrowed his brow at twitter.

“There’s nothing to litigate. You straight shot the man.” Sam argued with Zemo.

“Sam.” Bucky had found something.

“What?” Sam turned his attention to Bucky and away from Zemo.

“Karli bombed a GRC supply depot.” Bucky showed you his phone screen so you could read.

“What? What’s the damage?” Sam’s concern grew quickly.

“Eleven injured, three dead.” You said after skimming over the article.

“They have a list of demands and are promising more attacks if those demands aren’t met.” Bucky added as Sam sighed.

“She’s getting worse.” Zemo spoke up. “I have the will to complete this mission. Do the three of you?”

“She’s just a kid.” Sam was right. She was only young, she reminded you of you when you first joined the avengers. Desperate to fight for a cause.

“You’re seeing something in her that isn’t there.” Zemo disagreed. “You’re clouded by it. She’s a supremacist. The very concept of a Super Soldier will always trouble people. It’s that warped aspiration that led to Nazis, to Ultron, to the Avengers.”

“You’re talking about our friends.” You felt the need to remind Zemo that you were actually apart of the Avengers as you placed your empty bowl in the sink.

“The Avengers, not the Nazis.” Bucky felt the need to clarify.

“So, Karli is radicalised, but there has to be a peaceful way to stop her.” Sam was determined there wasn’t a need for a fight.

“The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path. She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her.” Zemo explained as he reached for the bowl you had originally offered Bucky. “Or she kills you.”

You swatted his hand away to which he frowned at.

“Maybe you’re wrong, Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.” Bucky argued his point.

“Touché.” Zemo picked up a biscuit instead. Holding it on his finger as he spoke. “But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?”

“Well, maybe we should give him to the Wakandans right now.” Bucky suggested to you and Sam as he moved over to the couch.

“And you’ll give up your tour guide?” Zemo asked as he opened the cupboards to look for some food.

“Yes.” Bucky didn’t hesitate.

“From my understanding, Donya is like a pillar of the community, right?” Sam interrupted with a new thought. “So, when I was a kid, my TT passed away.”

“Your TT?” Bucky asked, unsure of what Sam had meant.

“Yeah, my TT, yeah.” Sam nodded.

“Who is your TT?” Bucky asked as you sat down beside him.

“Fine. When I was a kid, my aunt passed away and the entire neighborhood got together for a ceremony. It was like a week long. Maybe they’re doing the same thing for Donya.” Sam proposed. He could be right.

“Worth a shot.” You proclaimed.

“Your TT would be proud of you.” Zemo sounded more awkward at the use of the phrase before he pulled out a fancy looking tin. “Turkish delight? Irresistible.”

Sam caught the small sweet that Zemo had thrown.

“I say Zemo put’s some clothes on and we head over to the refugee camp that Donya was staying. See if anyone knows anything about a funeral or ceremony for her.” You ignored Zemo as he looked down at the sweets.

“Sounds like a plan.” Sam stood from his seat at the island and looked over at Zemo.

Zemo nodded before disappearing into a bedroom to change.

It didn't take long to get to the camp from Zemo’s apartment.

“Shame what’s become of this place. When I was young, we used to come here for fabulous dinners and parties. I knew nothing of the politics of the time, of course, but I remember it being beautiful.” Zemo seemed saddened by the state of the buildings being used as the camp.

“I’m gonna take a look around upstairs. See what you can find out here. And keep an eye on him.” Sam told Bucky as he gestured to Zemo.

“I’ll stay out of your way.” Zemo promised.

“(Y/n), you look around through there. See if you can... You know.” Sam pointed down through one of the ground floor doors. You nodded and left the men.

Most of the adults fled when you entered the building but you noticed a young girl who looked too busy with what she was doing to notice. She had looked maybe 16 or 17 years old and she was embroidering an old silk scarf.

“That’s beautiful.” You knelt down beside her but as you spoke, her eyes shot up and widened with shock and fear.

“T-t-thank you.” She stuttered as her eyes flittered around the room for help.

“It’s okay. I was just wondering if I could have a look at it.” You smiled softly at the girl as you held your hand out.

She reluctantly gave it to you.

“This truly is beautiful. You are very talented. May I buy it from you?” You placed your hand in your pocket and pulled out a note that you had previously stolen from Zemo’s jacket.

“You c-c-can have it.” She whispered as she stood. You rose with her as you folded the scarf to place into your pocket.

“I insist.” You took her hand gently and cautiously and placed the money in her palm. She smiled but she still was nervous and full of worry. You figured she knew who you were.

You folded your hands over hers and that’s when you unplugged the cork on your powers.

You closed your eyes and within seconds all the girls memories flooded into your head.

You tried not to react as it happened.

You tried your best to filter through the memories quickly. When you reached the time after the blip, you slowed down. You saw the horrors of them being rejected, being abandoned and then you saw Mama Donya and Karli.

You focused on Karli.

You watched Karli smile and laugh with all the children, she’d play and look after them as Donya looked after Karli.

Closer memories brought what seemed like events that only just happened. Karli visiting with supplies.

You saw the mourning of Mama Donya from everyone and then you saw the arrangements for the funeral.

You opened your eyes and let go of the girls hand. She thanked you again and left. She would have never realised what you had seen as the memories are shown to you within a matter of seconds.

You leant against the table and inhaled deeply.

You felt weak again.

You pushed yourself off the table and headed back out to Bucky.

Zemo was surrounded by a bunch of small children.

“You okay?”Bucky asked. The second you reappeared he immediately noticed a change in you.

“I’m okay.” You lied. “I spoke to one of the teenagers inside. I looked inside her head. You were right, Sam. They are having a funeral but she only knew that she would be taken to it later this afternoon.” You explained as Sam joined you both.

“Good work.” Sam wrapped his arm around you and gave you a small squeeze of appreciation.

They both knew how hard it must've been for you to use your powers after the Nagel incident.

The toll of touching the dead had knocked you for six in the past and in a matter of forty eight hours you had touched the dead and looked into the memories of a live person.

You’ll need an energy boost before you can do this again.

Zemo turned back to you and you all returned to the apartment.

“Well, I got nothin’. No one’s talkin’ about Donya.” Bucky slouched down on the couch in defeat.

“Yeah, it’s because Karli is the only one fighting for them.” Sam joined him on the couch. “And she’s not wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked.

“For five years, people have been welcomed into countries that have kept them out using barbwire. There were houses and jobs. Folks were happy to have people around to help them rebuild. It wasn’t just one community coming together, it was the entire world coming together. And then, boom. Just like that, it goes right back to the way it used to be. To them, at least Karli’s doin’ somethin’.” Sam explained himself.

“You really think her ends justify her means? Then, she’s no different than him or anybody else we’ve fought.” Bucky pointed over to Zemo.

“She’s different. She’s not motivated by the same things.” Sam argued with Bucky.

“Sam’s right.” You spoke up. “When I looked into that girls head I saw a lot of Karli. She means a lot to those people, she is their light, their Captain America. But she’s just a kid. From what I saw she has a whole lot of love in her heart and I'm not saying that hurting and killing people is right but she sees it as the only way to help her people.”

Zemo had walked over from the kitchen with a tray as you spoke.

“That little girl. What’d she tell you?” Bucky questioned him.

“The funeral is this afternoon.” Zemo only said what you already knew.

“We know that. Now you know the Dora’s coming for you any minute. In fact, they’re probably lurking outside right now. Keep talking.” Bucky demanded.

“Leaving you to turn on me once we get to Karli. Hmm. I prefer to keep my leverage.” Zemo sure knew how to push someone’s buttons.

Bucky shot up and threw Zemo’s cup against the wall. The crashing of the glass made both you and Sam jump to your feet.

“You wanna see what someone can do with leverage?” Bucky threatened Zemo.

“Take it easy. Don’t engage him. He’s just gonna extort you and do that stupid head tilt thing.” Sam tried to de-elevate the situation. “Let me make a call.”

“You want some cherry blossom tea?” Zemo offered Bucky as Sam walked away.

“No, you go ahead.” Bucky grumbled, scowling at the Baron.

“Come on.” You took Bucky’s hand and pulled him away from Zemo.

You headed into the bathroom and started to fill up the tub with some cold water.

“Will you get me some ice?” You asked Bucky to which he complied.

Once the tub was full of ice water, you stripped and climbed inside.

Bucky had taken a stool and faced the door to give you some privacy.

“You shouldn’t let him get to you.” You said as you settled into the water. Your body was screaming at you as the ice touched it but you knew it’d give you the wake up call you and your muscles needed.

“I don’t.” Bucky grimaced.

“You don’t? Oh, so the shattered cup in the other room was just a scare tactic?” You mused.

“Yep.” Bucky grumbled.

“Okay.” You sighed before going under.

The cold water hit your brain and you immediately sat back up.

“Feel better?” Bucky had heard the splashing of the water.

“Yeah.” You admitted, running your hands over your face and hair. “Can I have my towel?”

Bucky kept his back to you as he passed you the towel.

You wrapped it around you and stepped out.

“You can look.” You told him.

Bucky turned and his eyes went straight to the bruises that covered your legs and arms.

“I’m okay, Buck.” You assured him as you watched the cogs turning in his head.

“I forget you aren’t...” Bucky’s words dropped off as he stepped closer and lightly took your arm, examining the damage.

“That I’m not a super soldier?” You smirked. “I may bruise but I can hold a lot more than most, Buck.”

“Doesn’t stop me worrying.” Bucky admitted as he lowered your arm.

“I know.” You whispered, looking up at the man’s deep blue eyes.

“You better get dressed. You already know what Sam is thinking with us both being gone right now.” Bucky went to go towards the door when you stopped him.

“I had a dream about Wakanda on the plane ride here.” You confessed.

Bucky stopped and looked back at you.

“It was the day you finally beat the Winter Soldier.” You told him.

*Flashback*

“These are incredible, Shuri.” You smiled widely as you threw the new high tech Vibranium knives that Shuri had made for you.

“I know. I know.” Shuri was well aware of her awesome brain.

Shuri pressed the combat button on the wall which simulated attackers for intense weapon training.

You inhaled as you closed your eyes.

A footstep gave away your first attacker. You threw the knives to the holograms and the attackers were down. You ducked and dodged and jumped around the room as you practised with the knives.

Shuri cheered you when you finished. You smiled through your heavy breaths and Shuri jogged towards you to give you a fist bump.

“You are something else, my friend.” Shuri praised you.

The doors opening behind you made both you and Shuri turn to see who had entered.

It was Bucky.

He rushed towards you with a bright smile. His lips seemed to quiver and his eyes were glassy. Something had happened.

It had happened.

He embraced you tightly and you returned it. Your fingers gripped onto Bucky’s long hair as he buried his face in your neck.

You looked back at Ayo (who had followed Bucky) and Shuri and mouthed a ‘Thank you’.

Ayo bowed her head at you before leaving the hall.

Bucky had finally gotten over HYDRA’s programming after all these years of being held prisoner by a few words.

You and Bucky stayed like that for what felt like hours. The relief from Bucky washed over you and bound him to you until he was ready to part.

It was an incredible day.

*End of Flashback*

“Maybe you could sense that the Dora’s were close on our tails.” Bucky suggested.

“No, we all knew that they’d come for Zemo eventually.” You dismissed the idea. “I think it was after seeing Zemo treat you like him again.”

Bucky remained silent.

“I don’t think I ever told you how proud I was of you that day.” You folded your arms over your chest as you leant back on the tub.

“You didn't need to.” Bucky assured you. “I already knew.”

You watched Bucky leave the bathroom so you could change.

When you had returned to the main space again it was just about time to head out again.

You felt a little nervous as you didn’t really want a fight with Karli since you weren’t 100% but you figured you had felt a hell of a lot worse before.

As you left the apartment, a voice and face you didn’t particularly wanna see called out.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit.” John Walker and his little side kick were walking down some stairs towards you.

“Ah! How’d you find us now?” Bucky called back.

“Come on. You think three Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?” Lemar, Walker’s partner, scoffed.

“No more keeping us in the dark. You could start by telling us why you broke him out of prison.” Walker pointed out Zemo.

“He did that himself, technically.” Bucky corrected Walker.

“This better be an unbelievable explana––”

“––Hey, take it easy before it gets weird.” Sam interrupted Walker before things could get heated in front of civilians.

“I know where Karli is.” Zemo kept walking as the others stopped.

“Well, where?” Walker asked, stopping Zemo by stepping in his way.

“All we know is it’s a memorial. So, we’re gonna intercept her there.” Sam informed them.

“That means civilians. High risk of casualties.” Lemar relaid to his partner as you continued to walk.

“All right, good, we’ll move in fast. Take her by surprise.” Walker started to talk through his plan when Sam stopped him.

“No, I wanna talk to her alone.”

“I’m not losing her again.” Walker argued with Sam.

“Look, the person closest to her died, she’s vulnerable. Now is the best time to reason with her.” Sam was trying to defend his reasoning but Walker wasn’t having it.

“What? No. Wait, no! No! Stop. Hold on. Stop, okay?” Walker ran up ahead to stop everyone again. “I think we’re way past reasoning with her, unless you forgot that she blew up a building with people still in it.”

“Sam, you walk in there cold, she could kill you, man.”Lemar tried backing up his partner.

“If I go in hot and the op goes wrong, more people will die.” Sam handed over the other scenario.

“You’ll let him do this?” Walker looked between you and Bucky. “Are you gonna let your partner walk into a room with a Super Soldier alone?”

“He’s dealt with worse.” Bucky told him flatly. “And he’s not my partner.”

“I used to counsel soldiers dealing with trauma, okay? This is in my wheelhouse.” Sam walked past you and Bucky to face Walker.

“I know. And I know those soldiers, which is why I know this is a bad idea.” Walker still wasn't on board.

“Wait, John.” Lemar stopped Walker. “If he can talk her down, it might be worth a try.”

“Thank god Battle-scar here has some sense.” You declared.

“It’s Battle Star actually.”Lemar smiled at you but you ignored him.

“We’ll deal with you later.” Walker told Zemo as he caved in.

“I’m sure it will all come to an agreeable conclusion. My associate is just up ahead.” Zemo lead you towards the young girl he had spoken to earlier that day.

“Hello, my friend. This is for your family. Can you show us the way?” Zemo handed her some money and the girl beckoned for you all to follow.

“What the hell?” Walker seemed a little confused by Zemo’s ‘associate’ being 12.

The girl lead you to the building where the funeral was being held and you all waited for a signal.

“Karli’s in there.” Zemo announced as the girl ran off.

Sam went in whilst Walker cuffed Zemo.

“You got 10 minutes. Then we are doing things my way.” Walker told Sam before he left.

“Aggressive.” Zemo mumbled after being handcuffed. “But I get it.”

You rolled your eyes subtly at both Walker and Zemo.

You took up a position by the door with Bucky.

You watched Walker sit down, his grip on the shield was tight as he slowly huffed in and out.

You frowned as you studied the man. Your eyes glanced over to Zemo who was also watching Walker.

You shared a look before you let your eyes fall back down to your feet.

“Uh-uh. No, no, no. This is a bad idea.” Walker started to pace as he let his impatience get the best of him.

“It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight.” Bucky sighed unimpressed by the young solder.

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronise me.” Walker glared back at Bucky.

“Sam knows what he’s doing.” You backed Bucky up.

You all watched Walker stop as he thought. His heavy breathes causing his chest to rise up and down quickly.

“I’m goin’ in.” Walker didn’t want to listen anymore. He stormed towards the door but both you and Bucky stepped in his way.

“This is all really easy for you, isn’t it? All that serum runnin’ through your veins.” Walker didn’t even look at you as he squared up to Bucky.

That really bothered you.

You took hold of the man’s upper arm and yanked him to look at you.

“You may be Captain America right now but we don’t follow you. We said we’d give him 10 minutes. So, he’s getting 10 minutes.” You glowered at the man.

“Your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?” Walker leant towards you, trying to be intimidating but it wasn’t working.

“Just wait.” You looked the man in the eye with a subtle threat in your stare. His jaw clenched as he tugged his arm away from you.

Walker went back to look at the clock again.

After a couple more minutes, he tried once more.

“Time’s up! Our turn.” Walker didn’t hesitate to push past you as he charged ahead.

Bucky kept his tongue in his cheek as he watched it happen.

You and Bucky stayed behind Walker and his partner as they marched ahead.

“Karli Morgenthau, you’re under arrest.” Walker announced as he entered the room.

“This is what that was?” Betrayal flashed across Karli’s face as she looked at Sam.

“No, wait––” Sam didn’t have a chance now that Walker had intervened.

“––Tricking me until help came?” Karli started to back away.

“We had enough time to talk.” Walker exclaimed as he headed straight for Karli.

“Nazi! “ Karli wasn't going the easy way. She hit Walker back and he went straight into a table.

Lemar tried to keep you and Bucky back but you had easily managed to get round him to chase after Karli.

Bucky being what he was managed to get ahead of you but you were close on their trail.

Sam had found his own way but ultimately you all lost Karli.

“I lost her.” Bucky sighed.

“This place is a maze.” Sam looked around at the several doorways with a frown.

The sound of gunshots is what caught your attention next.

“Come on.” You rushed through the building trying to get to the source.

You didn’t manage to get there before Walker did.

Zemo was unconscious on the floor and vials of the serum were smashed around the concrete floor.

“What happened?” You asked as you looked down at the mess.

“He was shooting at Karli. I stopped him but she got away.” Walker lifted his shield a little to symbol how he had stopped Zemo.

“Let’s get him up.” Sam started down the stairs and you followed.

Zemo woke up after a little encouragement and some smelling salts. You had decided it was best if you split up on your way back to the apartment.

You and Sam were going to stay with Zemo and see if you can dig up anything on socials and the computer and Bucky was going to do a round and see if she had holed up anywhere familiar.

Sam sat at his computer, he was contacting Sharon whilst you stood with your phone searching Twitter to see if any Flag Smashers appearances or Karli were popping up in recent tweets.

Zemo laid down on the couch with a wet towel and a strong glass of scotch.

“You got anything?” Sam asked you.

“Nothing. I don’t think we’ll find her this time if she doesn’t want us too.” You put your phone down in defeat. It wasn't usual for people to give her Karli’s location anyway.

“I think you’re right.” Sam hated to agree but this was the first time you had come close to actually talking Karli down and it failed.

“And now with the serum’s gone. Who knows what her next move will be.” You knew that Karli didn’t have the option to create more super soldiers now and that gives her a disadvantage. The idea of an army is gone now and she would only have her current foot soldiers to help her.

Zemo moved for the first time in ten minutes as he lifted his cold compress.

“Were you ever offered it?" He asked aloud.

“What?” Sam furrowed his brow at the man.

“The serum.” Zemo replied.

“No.” Sam smirked at the idea.

“If you had been, hypothetically, that is, would you have taken it?” Zemo inquired.

“No.” Sam answered instantly, his smile dropping.

“No hesitation. That’s impressive.” Zemo nodded before removing his towel. “Sam. (Y/n). You can’t hold out hope for Karli. No matter what you saw in her, she’s gone. And we cannot allow that she and her acolytes become yet another faction of gods amongst real people. Super Soldiers cannot be allowed to exist.”

“Isn’t that how gods talk?” Sam queried. “And if that’s how you feel, what about Bucky?” There was a silence from Zemo. “Blood isn’t always the solution.”

Before the conversation could continue, the door opened and Bucky strode inside.

“Something’s not right about Walker.” Bucky stated as he removed his jacket.

“You don’t say.” Sam huffed with amusement. It was clear as day that Walker was at his wits end with the pressure on him.

“Well, I know a crazy when I see one. Because I am crazy.” Bucky poured himself a glass of whiskey. You rolled your eyes at his statement.

“Can’t argue with that.” Sam retorted.

“Shouldn’t have given him the shield.” Bucky was back on this topic again.

“I didn’t give him the shield.” Sam rose to his feet to face Bucky.

“Well, Steve definitely didn’t.” Bucky sipped on his drink just as the doors flew open.

All right. That’s it. Let’s go. I’m now ordering you to turn him over.” Walker commanded, his face red and his ears steaming.

“Hey, slow your roll. Shield or no shield, the only thing you’re runnin’ in here is your mouth. Now, I had Karli and you overstepped. He’s actually proven himself useful today. We’ll need all hands on deck for whatever’s comin’ next.” Sam approached Walker to try and pump his breaks.

“How do you want the rest of this conversation to go, Sam, huh?” Walker chuckled softly as Sam remained silent. “Yeah. Should I put down the shield? Make it fair?”

Sam scoffed, shaking his head at the man’s antics.

Walker put down the shield but the only thing flying next was a spear that struck the pillar by Walker’s head.

It was the Dora Milaje.

They had come for Zemo.

From your time in Wakanda you understood the language as Ayo spoke to Bucky.

“Even if he is a means to an end. Your time is up.” Ayo reverted back to English. “Release him to us now.”

Walker introduced himself to Ayo, not that she cared for him.

“Well let’s, uh, put the pointy sticks down and we can talk this through, huh?” Walker suggested, only to be met, yet again, by silence from the Dora’s.

“Hey, John, take it easy. You might wanna fight Bucky before you tangle with the Dora Milaje.” Sam tried to warn him but he wasn’t backing down.

“They don’t have jurisdiction here––”

“––The Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever the Dora Milaje find themselves to be.” Ayo cut Walker short.

“Okay.” John chuckled lightly. “Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot.” Walker made the mistake of putting his hand on Ayo’s shoulder.

Ayo responded with an attack.

The surrounding Dora’s fell into defence positions as Ayo and Walker fought. Lemar bounced into action, trying to help his partner out but it only warranted in more fighting. Or more asses getting kicked by the Dora Milaje.

“We should do something.” Sam said as you, him and Bucky stood together watching.

“Looking strong, John.” Bucky called out.

“Bucky!” You tried not to laugh as you scolded the man.

“Guys...” Sam nodded to Ayo about to strike John with her spear which made Bucky reluctantly intervene.

“Ayo, let’s talk about this.” Bucky only landed himself directly in the mess.

You realised how serious this was as Ayo didn’t hold back and went ahead to help Bucky. Sam went over to help Lemar but was met by more Dora's.

You grunted as one of the women attacked you. You had almost forgotten just how incredible they were at combat. Almost.

You were backed against a wall with the spear to your chest when the room fell silent.

You looked over at Bucky to see his arm was on the floor.

You wanted to move towards him but you were stuck until orders were given to release you.

“He is gone. Leave it.” Ayo had opened the bathroom doors to reveal the manhole had been opened. Zemo had escaped.

You were trying to slow your breathing when finally the Dora’s fell back.

She retracted her spear and left with Ayo and the others.

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam asked Bucky as he pushed himself off the floor.

Bucky reattached his arm. He groaned as he swung it round to adjust it.

“No.” He said but the shock on his face from before had already given away that answer.

You looked past Bucky to where Walker was still on the floor.

“You all right, man?” Lemar offered his hand to help him up.

“They weren’t even Super Soldiers.” You heard Walker mutter.

“Come on.” Lemar tugged him to his feet.

“I can’t believe he pulled an El Chapo.” Sam walked over to the bathroom and stared at the hole.

“I can.” Bucky wasn’t really that surprised and neither were you truthfully.

“Come on.” You beckoned the boys out of the apartment so you could talk.

You got down to the streets and away from Walker before you spoke again.

“Walker isn’t stable. He’s on the brink of cracking.” You kept your voice low as you spoke to the boys.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

“We may not like him but he’s not stupid. He knows that he can’t be Steve, do the things Steve did and it’s killing him. He's so obviously trying to win this fight by himself and it’s going to drive him insane if he isn’t the one to beat Karli.”

“But he can’t beat Karli. You saw her kick him across the room like he was a cardboard box.” Sam reminded you of what happened earlier.

“We have to get to Karli before he does because he’s either gonna stop her or kill himself trying.” You weren't worried for the man but worried about what would happen if he finally snapped.

Suddenly, Sam’s phone started to ring. It was his sister.

“She said what? Right. Hold on, hold on. I know, I know. Listen, pack an overnight bag and take the boys...” Sam sounded worried.

“What happened?” Bucky asked.

“Karli called Sarah. She threatened my nephews.” Sam told you both. “Okay. Go somewhere safe. Only pay cash. All right? Tell me when you arrive. I know. Look, I love you. I’ll never let anything happen to you and the boys. Okay. Bye.” He hung up and then immediately texted an unknown number.

“What does she want?” You knew Karli was desperate but threatening kids was a different story.

“Karli wants to meet. She left a contact number.” Sam’s phone buzzed with a new text. “She said come alone.”

“We’re coming with you.” Bucky wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Alright but keep your distance.” Sam didn’t bother to fight you on it. “We better suit up.”

You suited up by adding a few more weapons to your body. You placed your favourite thigh holsters on that held your Vibranium knives out on display.

Sam got his wings and soon you were at the location.

“Karli!” Sam bellowed as you entered the building.

Karli leant over a balcony to make herself seen. You remained on the ground floor but looked up at the girl. Bucky followed Sam.

“You called my sister? That’s how we’re gonna play this?” Sam was upset and understandably so.

“Sam, I would never hurt her. I just wanted to understand you better.” Karli confessed.“I see you, um, didn’t come alone.”Karli peered down at you then up at Bucky.

“You have to end this now.” Sam told her.

“I don’t wanna hurt you. You’re a tool in the regimes I’m looking to destroy. You’re not hiding behind a shield. If I were to kill you, it’d be meaningless. I was gonna ask you to join me. Or do the world a favour and let me go.” Karli spoke pretty boldly for someone who seemed to be alone. Super Soldier or not.

“Hey, Sam, new Cap is moving, looks like he’s found them, or maybe they found him.” Sharon’s voice came through on Sam’s intercom.

“It’s Walker.” Sam looked down at you and then Bucky.

Karli jumped from the balcony at the realisation the jig was up but Bucky was quick to jump too.

Karli kicked Bucky back but you managed to weaken Karli as you flipped over and kicked her in the jaw.

Sam put her down momentarily as he flew down and kicked her also.

“I’ll send you the location. Go!” Sam ordered both you and Bucky before he took off.

You knew Bucky would be fast enough to run there but you didn’t have that luxury.

You crossed the street to a parked motorbike and opened up it’s wiring. Just as you managed to get it running, Sam’s coordinates came through.

You docked your phone and set off.

You dodged through the narrow streets and traffic to arrive at another large building. Karli must have a favour for buildings you could get lost in.

You drove through the doors and skidded to a stop.

Bucky had gotten there before you. You could hear his grunts from a flight or two up.

You raced up them only to be met by a super soldier fighting Bucky.

You sent a knife forward, it embedded itself into the man’s soldier, he cried out which gave Bucky some time to throw him down the stairs.

You tucked up, over the tumbling body, holding onto the railing and the wall.

Bucky jumped over the rails and with one final blow knocked the soldier unconscious.

“Stay there.” Bucky told him before climbing back up to you. He thanked you for the help, handing you back the knife that had been in the man’s shoulder.

You then both went ahead to find Sam and Walker.

They were fighting more super soldiers a floor up.

You didn’t hesitate to go in for the attack.

You pulled a knife and threw it to Bucky for help; he caught it midair.

You screamed with frustration as the soldier you were fighting, pulled your arm behind you and slammed you into the pillar. You managed to swivel around, taking out the soldiers legs as you freed your arm.

You threw a knife into both his biceps. You only intended to injure, not kill, them anyway.

He groaned as he pulled them and tried to use them against you.

All at once, the fighting stopped when you all witnessed Karli kick Lemar into one of the concrete pillars.

Lemar’s body slumped down with blood painted across his lips.

John broke free from his attacker and slowly made his way over to Lemar.

From the sight of the body, you already knew he wasn’t walking out of there.

Walker desperately tried to wake him up.

That’s when Karli took her chance to flee.

You and the boys took off after her but lost her again pretty quickly.

When you rounded the building, you saw a crowd gathering.

What you saw next made you feel psychically sick.

John Walker stood above Karli’s right hand man, blood splattered up Steve’s shield and across his uniform.

He had killed the man in front of all these civilians. He had killed a man as Captain America.

(PART 5 HERE)

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