#whoops I made a discourse

[broodygaming]

Man oh man, it confuses me, very genuinely that ppl dont think that Beau and Yasha were a good end pairing. That they don’t see it. Idk. I catches me off guard every time I read it because, to me I suppose, they go together like... Chocolate ganache. You heat the milk, pour in the chocolate and stir and stir.... and you’re staring at it and there’s awkward chocolate chunks and it’s just milk with chocolate, oh my god I’ve messed it up, it’s sticking to the bottom omfg ive wasted ALL this milk holy shit I’m an idiot and - Bam. Suddenly. One last little stir and it magically transforms before your eyes into smooth rich brown chocolate ganache.  

Idk. For me. They are this fascinating twirling of strong forces that at some point just meld together to make this beautiful thing neither of them could have ever even visualized. The dichotomy of two violent women who have been battered by the world. Told over and over how Destructive they are. Who have destroyed each other in all these crazy situations? Who have been lauded as machines of war and bastions of retribution or cast out as “too much to deal with”..... These two women who have been taught over and over again that EVERY single fucking hand that touches.... strikes.... So strike back and first before they get the fucking chance.... 

Gods be damned do they deserve gentleness. 

And not to say there’s not many places you can find that. But the idea of standing there, holding your broken parts and looking around to find someone to help you... Not fix you, just help you hold them all... And the peace someone might feel handing them to someone whose hands have known pain. Someone whose hands are scarred and battered and tough. Someone who won’t be shocked to see so many broken parts. Someone who is carrying their own armful and a few more of yours won’t be a huge burden. Someone who fucking gets it. You know? I just think of Beau sliding into that hot bath and thinking of the kind words. Not even just kind words, but the acknowledgment and the sincerity. 

The... “I see you. I see you. And I’m not looking away. I will carry these pieces with you, if you might also carry some of mine”. 

[the-king-of-lemons]

.,

[cozyqueerchaos]

Hey, I'm sending this anonymously because I don't want to be recognised... I've been unoficially following you for a few months now, but there's something that's been stressing me out for a while now... I understand if you don't want to answer, and I'm really sorry if it bothers you, but I really need to know... Are you actually neutral, or you actually one of those fancops in disguise?

Hey you're all good! You're not bugging me, I was just asleep :)

Not entirely sure I am understanding what you're asking, but, in general: I do not care what other people do. I've been in fandom spaces since I was 9, nothing phases me anymore and I will never attack another person for having fun online (exempting like. Obvious hate speech lol).

Anyway, to plainly answer your question- the idea of picking a side deeply disturbs me because of the complete lack of nuance within both, so yes, I guess that makes me neutral.

[drdemonprince]

Your post about "transitioning to escape gender but then there's more gender" has been rotating furiously in my mind since I saw it. When I first realized I was trans at age 15, I identified as agender, but I knew I wanted to go on T and get top surgery so I decided it would be simpler to tell everyone I was a trans man and that just kind of became the truth. Now 10 years later I'm sorta starting to feel like I wanna actually be agender again, but the idea of an identity shift like that at my current age is terrifying and idek who I'd tell, or how I'd do it, and I don't think I wanna stop using he/him exclusively, and I have no idea why I'm telling *you* this other than that I'm scared to talk to anyone I know about it because it feels like somehow admitting that I was wrong about the gender I fought like hell to become, even though i don't really think that's the case I think my sense of self might just be continuously evolving... but I just wanna say you talking about having a gender shift like once every several years is helping me process this rn and feel like I'm not faking anything now AND wasn't faking anything before.

Dog i am right there with you. As a kid I always thought gender was bullshit, the coercive nature of it disgusted and scared me and I rebelled against it the best that I could. I loathed being assigned to any gender category, I never identified as a "girl", but I didn't really identify with any other category either. Puberty terrified me (and of course, it does most young people, but it felt like it would only more deeply entrench the category that I was assigned to in other people's minds, it made it more difficult to escape). I had trans friends as a teen but it did not occur to me to transition because there was really no end goal that I wanted to head toward, I just knew what I wanted to avoid and not experience. I coped mostly by degendering my body with a fairly androgynous style and way of presenting myself to the word and mannerisms, but also by starving myself which was not so great, and not sustainable. I considered transness for myself, even trying on a friend's binder and presenting masculinely at certain queer events, but it seemed to me at the time like just another way in which to obsess over gender, a foolish coercive socially constructed thing that i was trying to avoid.

In my 20s, I learned more about nonbinary people and figured that explained things pretty well. I was enamored with the transition journeys of some other trans people, largely trans women more than trans masculine ones (with some trans-effeminate faggot boy exceptions), but I still didn't want to take on all the expense and uncertainty and hassle of navigating the medical system for myself. I didn't think that the pursuit of being happy merited taking on so many risks or fiddling with myself so much. I saw it as an extravagance I didn't deserve, I guess, and I also couldn't locate a target outcome that seemed desirable enough for me. I was still dealing with an eating disorder and recovering from some trauma and didn't really think about my life in the long term. I guess I still don't, haha, whoops.

Eventually I came out as nonbinary, and nobody really gave a shit. There is a lot of useless, solidarity-breaking discourse that happens online about essentially who is "more" oppressed, binary trans people or nonbinary people, and a lot of that fight amounts to the two groups shouting about the ways in which they annoy one another without there being any cogent analysis of power and where oppression comes from (let alone how much those two categories overlap).

But I will say that being a they/them was far more difficult than being a trans guy socially and institutionally, because your identity is completely illegible to every system around you. "binary" trans people struggle under this too, but i have found there are some immense benefits to having a socially and institutionally legible target gender. nobody would fucking actually they/them me. not anyone. not even other trans people and queer people. there were no public gendered spaces for me. there were no spaces for me. there was no way to move through the medical system, professional life, and other public institutions as a nonbinary person. i was still just a cis woman in everyone's eyes. including the people who claimed to support me. and it was massively frustrating.

and so i think ultimately, i took my frustrations with not being at all able to escape coerced gendering as a nonbinary person and combined that with the affinity i do feel for queer men and the general sense of misery i was still experiencing in my life and decided what the hell, i'll round myself up to being a trans guy. i upped my T dose, i dressed more masculinely, i eventually got a super masculine hair cut that really squared off my jawline and got me gendered correctly, and i started more consciously inhabiting queer men's spaces.

and it was pretty dope. for a while. i felt the rush of having gotten away with something. when people effortlessly gendered as male i felt freed at last from the pressure to be a woman. i was no longer being coerced into being something that i was not. i had escaped the enforced category so much that people couldn't even see the history of that category being pushed onto me. there was relief.

but then. as always happens. people made little comments about my handshake being too weak for a man. the hypermasc dudes at the leather bar rolled their eyes at me and all the other effeminate dudes swanning around the bar. the people who picked me up off the apps or at the sauna would always let it slip, eventually, that they had a lot of experience with trans guys, or had most recently been dating all trans guys, and it would make me feel like a stock character to them, yet another category into which all kinds of assumptions had been projected. a type not a person. a few people said my haircut made me look like i was in the military or described me as actually masculine, which was equally jarring because it was so incorrect. people tried to affirm me by saying i was such a dude, i was such a man, i was such a fag, i was such a gay bro, pawing all over me leaving the mark of all their assumptions and oversimplifications behind. i had tried to run away from gender and there i was just BASTING all the time in everybody's goddamn assumptions about gender. trans people didn't talk about it any less than cis people did, they were just as fucking confining to be around.

it honestly feels really dirty. when people try to affirm your gender constantly and can't stop talking about it, when people look past you and see only your body, your history, or the role they have typecast you in, when people use your body as an outlet for their own gender or sexuality explorations, when they keep trying to measure every single facet of existence up into being masculine or being feminine or being toppy or bottomy or any other gendered type, it's claustrophobic.

as a trans man i tried playing this whole gender game and the second i started winning i began to feel even more disgusted with myself. it wasn't a victory or an escape, it was a capitulation. exploring with my identity and presentation has brought positive things into my life and my health has gotten better as a result, and i've made wonderful friends who, like me, are disaffected by this coercive gendering system. so i don't regret any of that. but trying to make myself legible under the existing gendered system was a fool's fucking errand. i wish i hadnt done it to myself and i wish i hadnt had it pushed onto me. to be clear, it was cissexist, binarist society that forced it onto me; even when other queer people coated me in their gendered assumptions that is obviously a byproduct of societal conditioning, and it's conditioning that ive reinforced in my own behavior and outlook toward others plenty of times too. we all do it, and we are all wronged by the existing coercive gender system.

i dont even care how i fucking identify anymore and i have no intention of changing pronouns again or anything, i'm so bored of it, i just actually want off this fucking thing. im not interested in trying to make others understand what i am anymore or in who i am even being simply categorizable, i dont want to obsess anymore over how i am perceived or to attempt engineer my appearance and mannerisms to broadcast an identity to anyone. i dont even want to fuck anybody right now at all because im so sick of how much that's a gender pantomime for people. i want off this fuckin ride man im so done.

it's kind of freeing, to hit this point of complete gender apathy, and i think it is a pretty common stage of identity development for a lot of queer people who have explored multiple identities and roles over time. there is no category that i actually am, or that anyone is, there are just the frameworks that society has given us to work with to understand ourselves, and the ways in which we flatten who we are to be able to make sense of the world using those frameworks. but who i actually am is so much more contextual and mutable than all that. i am a different person in the classroom than i am on the train platform than i am in the bedroom than i am cuddling on the couch than i am when i'm working out than i am when curled up on the floor crying than i am at a big furry convention. who i am continues to change as new people come in and out of my life and age and change and my body alters and as the weather turns. who fuckin knows man it's nothing and everything. i want to let it just be

[cuephrase]

from the questionnaire:

are there any results that really surprised you or that you didn't expect?

oooooh good question!! for me personally, no, not really? at least nothing that automatically comes to mind, so yk, don't quote me on that if i share data later and say "this surprised me/i didn't expect this!!" lmao

ummmm, hmmm. well actually okay, so i did expect Tim to be the Most Disliked Robin, but not by such a margin, if that makes sense? more like, logically one of them was going to be the most disliked even if only like 10 people disliked a Robin and my bet was that Tim would have the most votes, by process of elimination/other hypotheses. i wasn't upset by the results, if you've seen the post you know i was incredibly entertained.

there were definitely some results that were a relief? like they aligned with my personal predictions, but it was still really nice to see them.

oh, something that did surprise me was the amount of commentary i got on batcest!! there is zero discussion of shipping in the questionnaire, which is mainly why i wasn't expecting so much commentary, and there's not really a whole lot of ship discussion apart from batcest stuff that i remember- i did think i might get a couple mentions of it but i got a lot more than a couple lmao.

in favor of and against, to be clear, and to be even clearer to anyone reading- this is not an invitation to share your thoughts about batcest with me, i truly do not care. not to be rude, either, like i don't care if you love it or hate it, i just have zero interest in discussing it since a) my blog is mostly gen and b) i don't see any benefits in engaging in discourse about batcest 🫶

on the individual response level, there were some things that surprised me in isolation, but made perfect sense in the context of the responder's answers, like for instance one person said they didn't see Dick as brothers with any of the boy Robins except for Damian, because "he doesn’t really interact with a lot of the other robins in canon", that being said, the only eras they said they read were pre-crisis and rebirth. makes a lot more sense in that context. like i was thrown for a loop, but then i saw the full picture and i was like, "oh. okay."

let this be your daily reminder that the statement "i read comics" means basically nothing lmao. and i don't mean that as a dig at that responder, not at all, just that if you're someone who reads comics you cannot assume that someone else also reading comics means that you guys will be on the same wavelength. not because canon is nebulous and unknowable imo, but just because there's a lot of it!!

also!! a decent amount of people said i was brave?? that freaked me out a little, because i hadn't really...i didn't think i was stepping into shit, okay? in hindsight, i realize that that was naive of me, but idk. i wasn't thinking about the results in that way, and i also really didn't think i was going to get much interaction either- i was floored by the engagement the questionnaire got. but yeah, idk, i was just genuinely curious to see if my theory had any weight, i wasn't thinking about the broader implications of what the data might reveal. whoops.

and here's what surprised my wonderful data-crunchers:

@chinajousama: Hmm, I think one thing that did surprise me was how little the types of Robin media actually impacted the results [of the Most Disliked Robin]. Aside from that pocket of Jason hate from the post-Crisis fans, everyone was remarkably consistent. Also, it wasn't really a surprise, but it was extremely funny to see how big the gap between tim and literally anyone else was, dislike wise.

(we got an ask about if the media/eras consumed impacted which Robins were disliked, so that math has been done, but i haven't shared the results yet, sorry!!)

@tevyaa: Lots! Off the top of my head: - I was sure that the clear winner of the most disliked Robin poll would be Damian. He's the only one I've ever really seen hate for - probably because I entered fandom through Tim-centric whump fic 😂. I was shocked that it's actually Tim who the fandom is most annoyed with. - I was surprised how much of the fandom does actually read comics! I would have guesstimated that the comics/non-comics fans were something like 50/50, and was shocked to find out that only 15% of fandom doesn't read comics (and only about 4% doesn't interact with canon at all, including comics/ games/ animation)

(dw, we haven't released any data apart from the MDR yet, but you'll be able to see the breakdown of comics read/canon interaction eventually!!)

ty for the ask, anon!! i hope you enjoyed the answer!!

[void-inked-pen]

Gonna be real with you all… that post I made about Drarry started some unwanted discourse that defeated the whole purpose of that post.

“You can’t ship drarry because the REAL reason JK hates it is cause he’s a racist/bully!”

Dude when did I say any of that? Also BOY do I have some information for you that your not gonna like about JK

“Shipping canon drarry is toxic!”

Again… where are the askers?

“Don’t spread this misinformation!”

Okay, I’m gonna stop you right there and ask you to take a step back. JK Rowling has been confirmed to be a terf, racist, and general horrible human being for a long time now. Trying to “um actually” me in a post that was encouraging the fandom to keep making what they like and ignoring the creator by making everyone of her hated tropes fanon is not helping anyone or yourself.

I’m of the opinion that drarry functions as a ship so long as Draco himself gets the character development he so obviously was deprived of. (I’m also of the opinion that that CD needs to be beaten into his skull brutally before his true self can even come out but I digress)

You can dislike the ship all you want but calling it “toxic” just because of canon will not give you browny points here. Canon can go suck an egg.

To reiterate my point for people who seem to ignore it: JK Rowling hates drarry not because it’s “not healthy” but because of what it represents, which is a legitimate gay relationship between her protagonist and a character she beat into the ground.

Flawed characters are interesting because they are flawed.

A relationship is interesting in a story because of the potential that it brings to the story.

So again: make your trans characters, make your poc Harry and Hermione, make your marauders drip the rainbow (forgot to include them last time whoops), because the garbage human being who made our childhoods is mad about it.

That’s all.

[painless-innit-colourful]

deep green dashboard simulator for the weekend lore of the 27th Jan (for @thatfriendlyanon :) [all art is by @rozugold :)]

🕊️ ica-whoops Follow

it's so funny that the papers actually worked really well and looked convincingly scary on elle's stream because over on crim's it was sweating and switching out items in the most corny way

#like bestie i'm glad it worked on the other end because it looked so bad on ours XD #tdg

🌵 thegreatcactushunt Follow

bird song being in the deeply weird playlist makes me very, VERY nervous now, just saying

#katy talks #the deep green

🪽 waxelytra Follow

new Sisyphus skin (black bars are not intentional)

🪨 sisyfish Follow

can we talk about how sneaky the switch was?? even watching their face cam I had NO IDEA that was coming

#especially with the nightmare they were apparently having lmao #get it crim the show must go on #the deep green

🍄 thereisafungus Follow

crim's on-camera acting makes me yell, what do you mean they keep looking at their palm or touching their hand when they're nervous, you can't do this to me

#tdg #crim sisyphus #CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME

🟩 homeiswheretheglowberriesgrow

being a crim-only viewer is so funny 'cause the mutuals have been talking about kore's backstory clues for literally months and sisyphus has only stumbled onto that story today because icarus literally dragged them into looking at it

because they've spent the best part of the last three months in a CAVE

🌺 bringerofhorses Follow

become a rozu viewer, see the sun

🪨 sisyfish Follow

I rather like this cave actually

🟩 homeiswheretheglowberriesgrow

I didn't know Sisyphus had a tumblr

🌱 thedeepestgreenestplace Follow

you can't trust a single thing I say

#tdg #crim sisyphus #elle icarus #my art #tdg fanart #they..........

🪨 sisyfish Follow

can we STOP with the baseless accusations that the massacre was planned AGAIN PLEASE. everyone on the server has stated multiple times that it was an accident by crim and then plot from it started there. it was not pre-planned. this comes up every time there's major lore and I'm so sick of it

🌱lussssshcave Follow

I'm also sick of seeing ppl speculate crim did it intentionally. look at their face in that moment

yes they're a good actor, but this is clearly the face of someone who's just made a huge mistake

🪨 sisyfish Follow

it honestly makes my blood boil that anyone would suggest crim would do something like that for content. grow up

#they literally have asked what buildings and things they can destroy in lore and respected that #stop starting stupid drama based on nothing #massacre discourse #tdg neg

🪴bloomingstrangely

all I'm saying is, it looks like blood…

#tdg fanart #crim sisyphus #elle icarus #tdg

🕊️ ica-whoops Follow

ladies and gentlemen, icarus has teleported into the cavern!

🕊️ ica-whoops Follow

ladies and gentlemen, grond has teleported into the cavern (and they have both been killed in there)

🕊️ ica-whoops Follow

ladies and gentlemen, the marking has appeared! it's horrifying

🕊️ ica-whoops Follow

ladies and gentlemen, sisyphus has told grond about the cavern

🕊️ ica-whoops Follow

ladies and gentlemen, sisyphus has confessed to burning the trees! (accidentally :/)

🕊️ ica-whoops Follow

ladies and gentlemen, they are looking at the other kore lore book

🕊️ ica-whoops Follow

ladies and gentlemen, icarus & sisyphus are in the cavern together!

🕊️ ica-whoops Follow

so, uh. a lot happened today

#i did not anticipate it going this far #tdg

🌵 thegreatcactushunt Follow

everytime crim shares secrets with jason before elle I want to throttle them. in the good way

🍂waydownunderthe Follow

I could fix them, but whatever it is they're currently doing is far more interesting

🌵 thegreatcactushunt Follow

letter from thalia saying "forgive yourself", marking on face looks like blood, sisyphus almost told icarus the truth about the cavern but decided against it last second, there are papers appearing in sisyphus' house that say "you know what you did", sisyphus keeps muttering "why won't it work?" in the cavern??

GANG I DON'T LIKE THIS

#the deep green

🟩 homeiswheretheglowberriesgrow

"I thought you were good" / "I already ruined everything" / "the only option is to do whatever it takes to protect yourself and the ones you love"

crim's saying something very interesting here about sisyphus' internal philosophy but I can't quite work out what it is

#where is this Going #tdg

🪻theshallowgreen Follow

every time icarus reaches out and sisyphus pulls away I want to scream

#they make me ILL

🌵 thegreatcactushunt Follow

NEW PLAYLIST ALERT

#glad to see someone's as mentally ill about them as we are #also whooo official duo name!! #the deep green

🕊️ ica-whoops Follow

we already have a stream confirmed for next saturday, icarus hasn't come back to check on the papers situation yet, rozu is confirmed to be coming on, crim said last night 'it will get worse before it gets better'

#the deep green #lord help us all

🌵 thegreatcactushunt Follow

nice

#tdg

🪨 sisyfish Follow

sisyphus shoring up the alliance with grond the other night

#i love these two they're absolutely as bad as each other #politics duo ftw #tdg

🪽 waxelytra Follow

elle admitting she wasn't nessecarily thinking in character for the your obedient servant situation is so funny like. this stuff always happens in rp and it's so hard to work around later but it's made worse by crim's inability to take any situation lightly ever

#calm down always in character give her a break i BEG #the deep green

🪴bloomingstrangely

anxious bird & wet cat

🪴bloomingstrangely

WAIT CAT AND BIRD HMM

#this is not a manifesting moment apollo dni #someone pointed it out in the tags and i wanted to yell #tdg

[neuroticbookworm]

Understanding the Core Four of La Pluie

Last Saturday, I screamed into this hellsite about the brilliance of La Pluie episode 10, and in the last couple of days, I read many amazing metas from my fellow La Pluie fiends that broke down all the well-executed dimensions of this episode (keep an eye out for this week’s La Pluie meta roundup from my pal @lurkingshan). When we last saw these characters in episode 9, Lomfon was running the hamster wheel in his brain, trying to figure out how to navigate his situation of hearing Saengtai (and Patts) when it rained. Tien was nursing a crush on Lomfon, and Tai and Patts had made things official and were stronger than ever. Then came episode 10, which turned everything upside down and left us speechless.

I loved and enjoyed every aspect of this episode: acting, plot development, cinematography, screenwriting, and more. But the one that blew me away the most was how the motivation and drive behind each character’s actions were perfectly in line with the character traits the show has already established. I initially wanted to write this post only to explore these traits, but after observing the La Pluie fandom discourse for the past week, I expanded it to include my defense of why every character in the La Pluie Core Four "deserves" the resolutions the show is poised to give them in the coming days.

Tien:

When Tien enters the pivotal conflict scene in the rain, he walks into a kiss between his brother and the guy he has a crush on. Absolutely heartbreaking. We see him stand still on the side, while Patts rushes to push Lomfon away from Tai and punch him repeatedly in the face (though not hard enough, as my friend @bengiyo argues here, and I fully agree. That ass-whooping should've been harder and longer). And after Patts and Tai walk away, Tien faces Lomfon, who just recklessly messed up the lives of everyone around him with no regard for anyone's feelings.

Here’s a quick list of Tien’s personality traits that were on display in this scene:

Tien is calm. He is pissed, he is rattled by the events, and yet he starts with a pretty calm "What did you mean?"

Tien is logical. He immediately counters Lomfon's explanation about his hearing loss and him being Saengtai's soulmate with, "You liar. I'm speaking now, and you can hear me."

Tien is a good communicator. He clearly confessed his feelings to Lomfon and how he thought his feelings were reciprocated, even when his heart was in tatters. He managed to be the most open and honest person out of everyone involved in this mess, and he hadn’t even done anything wrong. We would’ve completely understood his actions if he had just walked away after cussing out Lomfon, but that’s not the Tien we’ve seen and adored for the last nine episodes.

Tien is brave. He had been developing feelings for Lomfon for a while, and he thought his feelings were reciprocated. Being vulnerable and confessing your feelings to your crush is a nerve-wracking experience in its own right, and yet Tien confessed his feelings after Lomfon had just kissed his brother, potentially ruining any possibility of a relationship between them. For that alone, he is one of the bravest sonsofbitches I've seen in a BL so far.

I was not expecting to be surprised by Tien in this episode. I don’t exactly know what I thought his reaction would be to the Lomfon-sized wreaking ball I knew was coming, but I had only anticipated a heartbroken Tien. Instead, I got a Tien who was the only level-headed and rational person in this fight. And all of these wonderful traits were already established in the show's previous episodes:

Tien is one of the calmer Saengs. We have seen each of the Saeng brothers handle their parents' split very differently in the flashbacks. Saengtai and Saengchan are usually in tears and are physically reactive, whereas Saengtien and Saengnuea are the ones holding them back and comforting them.

Lomfon is not the only one who ran experiments to understand his feelings. Tien is also logical (albeit less neurotic and more sensible than Lomfon), and he worked through his sudden feelings for Lomfon after they held hands in the classroom by holding hands with his friends. He’s also open to opinions from others, as he talks to Tai about his feelings. Which makes him…

A good communicator. Tien also calls out Tai’s reluctance to communicate with his mother rationally, and to try and understand her side of things in the divorce and her relationship with her boyfriend, Nu.

Tien is an excellent subversion of the "playful and less mature younger sibling" character because, while he is easy-going and playful, he’s also the most emotionally intelligent and mature character out of the Core Four. Moving on to his elder, albeit much less emotionally mature brother, Tai.

Tai and Patts:

I’m analyzing Patts and Tai’s actions together because this way it’s easier to compare their words and actions towards each other in this episode, to their relationship dynamics that were established previously. The explosive fight and the subsequent breakup were shocking, but smart cookies like @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup and @ginnymoonbeam posited in our conversations, before the episode aired, that it was time for Patts’ frustrations and insecurities to rise to the surface. And boy did it rise up. This conflict between the primary couple has already been extensively analyzed by @lurkingshan here, so I will add my little observations on how Patts and Tai’s behavior in this fight is supported by the writing of the show so far.

@ginnymoonbeam has shared her thoughts on Tai’s avoidant personality, here. I want to add that Tai is also incredibly stubborn and hard to please. His father says so, to Patts during their dinner in episode 5.

The phrase "seems like an understanding person" is very telling, five episodes later. Tai also has the propensity to see life in black and white, especially when it comes to romance. His faith in soulmates is broken the moment he witnesses the end of a soulmate relationship. There is no room for explanation, as evidenced by his decision to ghost his soulmate for 2 years, and his coldness towards his mom, whom he has decided is the sole villain in their parents’ divorce. Simply put, he reads too much Nora Roberts (check out @syrena-del-mar’s excellent meta, La Pluie meets Nora Roberts).

Moving on to Patts. First off: no Patts hate is allowed in this house. I do not condone violence, but I also think the reasons behind the display of violence deserve to be talked about without the air of dismissal surrounding it (@shortpplfedup backs me up on this, here).

Patts had been understanding of two years of silence from Tai, and had been incredibly patient while working and finding solutions to Tai's fears around relationships and commitment. All the emotional labor in this relationship had been done by Patts, he verbalizes his desires and thoughts every time and is often left hanging by Tai, in silence. After Patts and Tai’s (supposed) heart-to-heart in Doi Mae Pliang (shout out to @indigostarfire and @lurkingshan for the incredible observation that Tai chose not to verbalize his answer to Patts’ question "Do you want to be my faen?", here and here), Patts must’ve felt that they are finally on solid ground, after years of uncertainty.

When Tai lied and hid his plans with Lomfon at the park, Patts must’ve felt devastated. And when he saw Lomfon kiss Tai, he finally snapped. He took out his anger on Lomfon, but as @bengiyo observed, Patts still managed to not leave a single bruise on Lomfon. His restraint is a sign that his frustration is not directed at Lomfon, but at Tai. Patts’ anger and Tai’s refusal to communicate openly escalate the fight further and further, until all the tension breaks at Tai’s room, with Patts agreeing to break up.

Something that stood out to me in this conflict is that the escalations were so well written that they did not feel like they were being done just for the sake of moving the plot along. Every question thrown at each other’s faces and every furious answer spit out in response felt natural and fluid. When Patts shows up at Tai’s door, he is not there with the intention of picking the fight back up. The first thing Tai asks Patts is, "Are you drunk?" and Patts tells him that he is not. They both know and understand how horribly this can go if one of them loses control. When Patts asks him "You still love me, don’t you?", Tai infuriatingly responds "This is exactly why I don’t want to talk to you".

And we see Patts getting angry at his response, shouting this:

To which Tai responds with this:

Tai did not utter those words to aggravate Patts. He truly believes that in an ideal, happy relationship, the couple must be completely compatible, so totally in sync that they will know all the answers to the questions that didn’t even need to be asked. Tai stumbled into a clear understanding of the Patts-Nara mess in episode 8 and told Patts that he was not mad about it. He did not ask questions or demand answers from Patts. Sometime during his deadly trek up Doi Mae Pliang, Tai decides that their love is enough to conquer whatever the universe throws at them. Not understanding, not communication, but love. That’s why Tai shuts down every time Patts demands an explanation; he thinks needing one means that Patts does not love him "the right way". And when Patts finally blurts out "Let’s breakup", we see him immediately absorb the weight of those words and backtrack. But for Tai, this is the final proof he needed to confirm that Patts is not right for him. So, he thanks Patts for the time they shared together and shuts the door in his face.

I sincerely hope Patts holds his ground and does not apologize unnecessarily to Tai. Tai is 100% in the wrong here; he needs a stern talking-to from someone who understands both Tai and how love and relationships actually work (my money is on Tai’s dad), and then he needs to do some very difficult but necessary introspection about his understanding of love. When he is finally done and realizes that he has made a massive mistake, I hope that Tai is the one who seeks out Patts to reconcile.

And finally, the messiest mess of the Core Four…

Lomfon:

Sigh. Oh Lomfon, you fucking disaster. I’ve been wary of you, I’ve been fascinated by you, and now I want to buy a ladder so I can climb on it and ring your head like a fucking bell till you forget the “How to acquire Tai in ten easy steps” list you have in your head.

There is no question in my mind that Lomfon fucked up spectacularly. He orchestrated a date with a man who was already taken, proceeded to reveal the truth about his soulmate connection in the most dramatic and emotionally destabilizing way possible, and then kissed him. And he does all this in the midst of developing feelings for this man’s brother.

Folks, I now have a confession to make. The nearly 2k words I had put before this section were to gently lure you into an "In defense of Lomfon" post.

The two major criticisms I’ve seen so far that are leveled against him are that he has disregarded Tien’s feelings and that he has been grossly manipulative in how he chose to reveal his soulmate connection to Tai. I will try to tackle both of them with an objective lens. My goal here is not to pose an explanation or argument for every shitty thing Lomfon has ever done in the show; it is just to present Lomfon’s traits, stripped from the (rightful) anger the fandom feels after the events of episode 10, so I can understand and accept the redemption the show might give him in the coming week.

Before I get into the specifics of the defense, I want to focus on the Keychain Acquisition scene we finally got in this episode. We see Tai run after his dad, and Tai suddenly notices Lomfon, who is focused on the papers in his hand and wearing headphones, about to walk into a busy street. He rushes to push Lomfon out of the way, tells him to be careful, and then runs after his dad again. From the moment Tai touches Lomfon, to the moment Lomfon looks up only to see Tai running back, this whole interaction takes about fifteen seconds. I counted them. Fifteen seconds.

When we watched this scene, @lurkingshan and I could not believe how absurdly mundane it was. The show has been teasing a connection between Tai and Lomfon for weeks, and this is it? Tai pushed him out of the way of a moving car and shouted an obligatory "be careful, it’s dangerous" in Lomfon’s general direction before going back to his own problems. But that’s all it took for Lomfon to decide that this mystery stranger is his "first love". He did not even get a proper glimpse of Tai because, by the time he looked up, Tai was already running. I wonder how much of Tai’s voice he actually registered, given the fact that he had to rip his earphones off first and that he was disoriented from being pushed to the ground.

I understand that teenagers have wild imaginations, but even for them, this is a level of delusion that is only achievable if any and all human contact is rare. I have held hands and gently pulled and pushed friends and family members out of the way countless times in my life while crossing a busy road. If Lomfon had saved the keychain as a reminder of the day he almost died before a kind stranger saved his life, this would be a completely different post. Since Lomfon attaches such an intense meaning to an event that is so commonplace (the showing-kindness-to-strangers part, not the almost getting-hit-by-a-car part), all this scene shows us is that Lomfon is utterly and pathetically lonely.

I’m not just reading this from the keychain scene. Since this show has some very clever writers, Lomfon’s "Social Loner" status is established from the very first episode. Before Tien meets Lomfon at the bookstore, we see Tien interact with his friends and his brother. In contrast to this, when we see Lomfon for the first time, he’s alone and is immediately picking a fight with Tien. Which leads to Lomfon meeting Tai for the very first time, and Tai intervening to break up the catfight. Tien even says this to Lomfon:

Remember when we were theorizing about Lomfon potentially knowing Tai before this incident, after the Keychain was introduced in episode 7? Because in episode 2, when he meets Tai at the coffee shop, he talks about Tai’s articles? And we were thinking, there’s no way he just stalked this person online after meeting him for about 2 minutes, just because he took his side. Nobody would be that obsessed, right? Right? Nope. This boy is really THAT obsessed, because he does not have a single friend who can take his side on a daily basis and normalize this experience for him.

With this information, some of Lomfon’s actions start making a little bit more sense, as his social isolation must make him very inept at reading normal social cues and emotions. He may fancy himself a logician, but he cannot factor feelings and emotions, his own or otherwise, into his calculations. I intentionally only used the word "obsession" when I talked about his feelings for Tai, because I know that he’s not pursuing Tai because he felt his heart flutter in his chest. He’s pursuing him because: 1. Tai took his side in the bookstore argument; 2. He then went home and stalked Tai on the internet and figured out that he’s a writer, which was interesting, because he likes... reading, I guess? (I’m feeling physical pain due to second-hand embarrassment from typing that sentence.) and 3. He found out that Tai has read some of his favorite books and figured that they must have the same passions and interests.

And here is my defense for the first criticism: When we consider just how little time he must’ve spent in his entire life, thinking about other people and their problems (because he must have the heartfelt and intimate connection it requires with only a rare few people), Lomfon does care for Tien. He held Tien back when he was recklessly rushing into a storm to save his brother. He calmed Tien down with very persuasive arguments that were both logical and empathetic. He respected Tien’s opinions enough to discuss the concept of soulmates with him twice (in episodes 7 and 10). During their discussion in episode 10, Tien tells him he doesn’t know whether he would choose his soulmate or someone he likes. After the scene, we see Lomfon sitting alone, ruminating on this thought for a few seconds. He asks his friend and possible crush for advice on what to do, and when he doesn’t get a concrete solution, he decides to give his way a try. And we see him make the call to invite Tien to lunch and a day at the park.

And what exactly was he trying to accomplish on this date, you may ask? Well, to paraphrase @bengiyo, he just wanted to run an experiment for "The Foot Pop" theory from The Princess Diaries. Matters of the heart are not something you can distil into equations. You either have to let the desire fully confront you, let it cloud your logical brain, and bravely let it guide you into your next steps. Or you can open up and be vulnerable about it with the people closest to you, ask for their opinions, and then take a decision that’s a bit more informed, yet firmly rooted in what you want based on what you feel. Both of these options are foreign to Lomfon. He has never solved problems this way, nor has he witnessed someone solving problems like this. So he recklessly kisses Tai, to prove to himself that all the calculations he had performed on his and Tai’s compatibility were right. He kisses Tai, and when he does not feel the butterflies, he pulls back, sees Tai’s stunned face, and immediately realizes that he has made a horrible, horrible mistake.

You know where he should’ve run the experiment, for better results? Riiiiiight here:

gif by the ever lovely @liyazaki

It could’ve been so simple and sweet. This loser just had to take the route that would cause the most damage.

Moving on to the second criticism that Lomfon is shady and manipulative in his actions in episode 10. I agree, he easily could’ve found a much less dramatic way to talk to Tai and Patts about this shared soulmate bond situation. But taking this straightforward route takes a lot of social courage and nuance, which Lomfon clearly does not have. If he and Patts had not been staring daggers since the moment they laid eyes on each other, the solution to their soulmate problem could’ve been calmly discussed at a table over breakfast. Since Lomfon decides to posture up to Patts as a romantic rival, with Patts already on edge about his intentions with Tai, Patts brusquely tells him to stay away from Tai. Which does not help matters one bit, and leads to Lomfon making all the wrong moves straight into disaster.

The biggest questions that were constantly in my head after this fiasco were "How the heck is Tien ever going to forgive him?". "Is a happily ever after even on the cards for Lomfon and Tien?". "Will it be believable and realistic if the writers give us one?".

I do not want to speculate on how the writers may choose to end this arc, because I want to ponder these questions purely based on what we know so far, without an ending of my choice already in my head, so I don’t skew my arguments to fit.

Lomfon may believe that Tai is the one who is most compatible with him, but he could not be more wrong. We have not seen any interactions between them where their personalities complement each other. We only see Tai in these interactions through Lomfon’s obsessive lens. But on the flip side, we see that Tien is rational and emotionally mature enough to give Lomfon an honest chance to explain himself and apologize. If Lomfon takes the time to look inward and understand his feelings for Tien, he will then convey them with sharp focus, and without any ambiguity. Because, let’s be honest, Lomfon is many things, but he is definitely not the type to prattle. And for Tien, who is also a straightforward and no-nonsense communicator, this approach might be the first step towards understanding and eventually forgiving Lomfon.

I know that I am skirting around a lot of Lomfon’s major fuckups on this road to redemption, but as I stated before, I’m not here to explain away all of his mistakes. I know Lomfon has some serious introspection and atonement in front of him. The only way he can ever hope for forgiveness is if he goes into this journey without hoping to be forgiven. He has to do it for the people that he has hurt, with no expectations in return.

Lomfon is not irredeemable. Does he deserve all the hate he is currently getting from the fandom? Yes. Did he deserve the ass-whooping? Hell yes. Will he also be worthy of Tien’s (and our) forgiveness if and when he reevaluates all of his actions and apologizes to him? Absolutely.

Shoutout to @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @wen-kexing-apologist, @ginnymoonbeam and @kyr-kun-chan for discussing their La Pluie thoughts and opinions with me, which helped coalesce my thoughts into this post.

Tagging @blmpff on request

[terrence-silver]

Would Terry be homewrecker?

---

Absolutely.

I don't even necessarily think he goes as far as sleeping with someone else's spouse, or rather, going as far as making the infidelity physical or sexual, because listen, I think he understands that isn't always needed. Sometimes, emotional cheating is just as good. How about throwing in a wrench? Planting the tiniest seed of doubt that can sprout a gigantic tree if you water it carefully enough? Placing the apple of discourse inside of a marriage or a relationship? Watching everything spiral into chaos from the sidelines, withholding impish giggles? He stirred the cauldron a bit and he'll get to watch it boil over.

Now, that's where the actual fun lies.

That's what he did with the Larusso's marriage.

He didn't sleep with anyone.

He merely told Amanda the truth knowing what it would do.

That's his tactic.

You know, like giving one of the partners the odd passing complement that could lead to an argument later down the line. Invoking jealousy in a really unassuming, understated way. Encouraging negativity all while pretending to be the voice of reason, logic and self-care. Making two people paranoid at each other. Playing that long con. Stirring up the pot for fights and discussions. Bringing up past wrongs all casually with an air of clueless innocence, like he only ever did that accidentally (or whoops, as a well meaning slip-up), without it being premeditated --- which it always is. It is always premeditated. Being the slow, patient worm that devours a marriage or a home from the inside until it falls apart on it's own because the two partners destroyed their own harmony brick by brick thanks to him, neither of them realizing that if they're pitted against each other, it is due to him as an outside force and less so themselves. He was just there to wind them up and move out of the way. He doesn't need to fuck someone's wife to achieve this, although, trust and believe, that yes, he'd go that far if need be. He would absolutely set fertile grounds for an infidelity to take place and he'd took the utmost pleasure in the whole affair as it took place. But, what I'm saying is --- ain't always a requirement for him.

Being the puppet master also meanings being unnoticed.

Not quite as in your face as a cheater.

Terry Silver is that friend who puts on his most angelic, saintly face while also deliberately giving you the worst advice ever concerning your own marriage or relationship (or really, anything else you could imagine), meaning that he can wreck a home, wreck a family, wreck a marriage, wreck anything he wants without it ever becoming sexual. Romantic. Without anyone laying up with anybody. In fact, he is so skillful at this that he can very well have both of the partners in question, both of his targeted victims, ending up thankful to him in the end. He could come out of the situation as the good guy. Imagine that. Bob's thankful Terry pointed out that Brenda doesn't appreciate his achievements well enough, always undervaluing him and his attempts and Brenda is thankful Terry was honest enough to point out that Bob, indeed, is a self centered asshole who totally neglected their romance and that she deserves better. And, oh, look, now they're living separated and 'taking time off' after twenty years of marriage and he did that all while pretending to be a devoted, concerned pal to both of them. Just a random example I made up, of course. He could be there, loaning one of his countless venues to his aggrieved friend Bob, who no longer has where to stay after the missus took all the things in the divorce, including the dog. What's worse? He comes off seeming like a champion. Like the angel on your shoulder, in your ear, who's actually been the devil in disguise all along.

-"Man, Terry, if you weren't here, I really wouldn't know what to do. Who to turn to. I really owe you. Bigtime!"-

He's like a rotten apple that inserts himself into a cart of healthy ones.

Spoiling all the others in the process.

And you possibly don't even notice the rotten apple present, until it is too late.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character

there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox

this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc

[super-hero-confessions]

Okay. I don't understand how it's gotten to this point with fans pulling made up shit about Loki from their asses but no.

NO.

Loki is not POC coded. He's not Jewish coded. He's not neurodivergent coded or whatever the fuck else.

HE IS 100% NORSE.

BASED OFF A NORSE TRICKSTER GOD WHO IS A KNOWN LIAR AND POT STIRRER THAT FUCKS WITH PEOPLE FOR FUNSIES.

CREATED BY NORSE FUCKING WHITE ASS WHITE PEOPLE WHO KNEW ICE AND SNOW AND FROST TO BE FUCKING DEADLY.

HE IS NOT "OTHER".

HE'S AN ASSHOLE WHO ENJOYS BEING AN ASSHOLE AND HAS ALSO SUFFERED SOME HARDSHIP BECAUSE HE IS SURROUNDED BY ASSHOLES AND PLAYS RIGHT INTO THAT HAND.

Big. Fucking. Whoop.

ALL GODS IN ALL CULTURES ARE NEEDLESSLY CRUEL AND NEEDLESSLY SUFFER BECAUSE THEY WERE SYMBOLIC AND MADE TO EXPLAIN WHAT PEOPLE COULDN'T FULLY UNDERSTAND.

LOKI IS NOT SPECIAL BECAUSE HE RAPES A HORSE.

But you know what that really means? Loki plays into the cycle of abuse just like a normal person and then goes on and makes it worse by dishing it out on unrelated people who never did anything to him. Like, I dunno, all the goddamn humans he kills?

He's that psycho kid with a psycho dad who tortures ants because he can't find healthy ways to cope and it doesn't get much deeper than that.

Stop making shit up that.

EVEN IF IT WERE TRUE IN ANYWAY WOULD NEVER EXCUSE HIM BEING A GENOCIDAL MANIAC WHO CARES NOTHING FOR HUMAN OR JOTUN LIFE YOU FASCIST ILLITERATE FUCKS.

AND GUESS WHAT. LOKI OF MYTH NEEDLESSLY STARTS ALL THE SHIT THAT HAPPENS WITH THE OTHER GODS BY GETTING BALDR KILLED.

If you have to write paragraphs upon paragraphs of made up bullshit you call meta and headcanons or whatever the fuck to defend the idea of liking this guy beyond the shallow fact that you would never dare go this hard for someone ugly or god forbid actual myth Loki?

You do not actually give a shit about the character. At all. Because you don't actually see the character. At all.

Personally, I love Loki for what he is. A dark grey chaos loving trickster diva and selfish asshole god that fucks with people for fun and gets the story rolling. All of that is what makes him fun as a character while paying appropriate homage to the stories he came from in a way that still feels respectful of what ancient cultures were trying to convey.

But I also love the actual good Loki that people write in fanfic sometimes.

I don't love the posturing people use him for to inadvertently spread misogyny or even white supremacy that slips under the radar because fandom can't accept that their shit does stink and there ARE bad actors.

It is okay to like or love Loki. It is okay to want things to be better for him or to be written better for him. It is okay to write fanfic where he is all of the things you want him to be.

It is not okay to culturally appropriate and deny what he is canonically with made up bullshit pulled from your ass to pretend that Loki was justified when he was ATTEMPTING GENOCIDE. And it is especially not okay to then have the audacity to deny the fact that Loki has pretty privilege.

Fuck you people doing this shit. At this point I prefer those that actually admit they like him because he's hot. Because at least they don't go rabid and are fucking HONEST with themselves about this shit and about his character.

And above all?

LOKI IS FICTIONAL.

PEOPLE DON'T OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION FOR DISLIKING OR HATING HIM. DOING SO IS NOT AN ATTACK ON YOU. THEIR EXISTENCE DOES NOT CHALLENGE YOURS AND THEIR PERSPECTIVES ARE JUST AS VALID.

JUST LIKE YOU DON'T OWE THEM AN EXPLANATION FOR LIKING HIM. YOU DON'T EVEN NEED ONE. BECAUSE HE'S FICTIONAL.

Have civil discourse and discussion if you want to, try and get more people to like Loki and see the lighter grey in him even. But you do that by being NICE.

Not by being a dismissive, denying, bullying asshole that then pretends you have the moral high road over ultimately meaningless. Fictional. Bullshit.

I guarantee a majority of people who hate Loki now? It's not because Loki is imperfect or the "other". It's because his stans do everything they can to be toxic, hostile, and in turn make him look bad.

Even Loki's never attempted to justify his attempts at genocide. Escape accountability, sure. But not justify it.

[reapersynth]

I'm a certified starfield enjoyer, and I don't understand the hate for it. Does it have problems? Yes, absolutely. But it's not a flop by any means. The bethesda games recipe just works for me, and I enjoy it despite its flaws.

It reminds me of the cyberpunk discourse so much, and I can't wait for the narrative around starfield to quiet down

Yeah, I ended up having to leave the starfield subreddit bc every other day the posts are "most disappointing game in the world 0/10 bethesda is so over anyone who likes it is huffing copium" but the next day it will be "this game is actually really good, i dont understand all of the hate in this sub" and both of these posts will have like 500+ upvotes. HDJHDJDKD

I joined r/nosodiumstarfield instead. Much better experience.

One guy in the starfield sub even started this whole fearmongering post about how modders are abandoning starfield in droves and the game is effectively dead, because ONE MODDER made a post in the discord that he didnt like starfield so he wasnt gonna port his multiplayer mod over from skyrim. like. big whoop? who give a shit? but now there's mass hysteria that starfield has destroyed everything we hold dear 😭😭😭

[discoblocks]

God yknow it always sucks when this fandom gets perceived and then bullied by some group or another over all the wrong things, but it happens and it bothers me less now then it used to, but. Idk man. Not when it’s Technoblade.

I can put up with a lot of shit but I just cannot ever let someone talk bad about Techno like that, it irks me to my core. The impact he had on my own life is too immeasurable to know. He doesn’t deserve to have his name dragged through the mud for dumbass fandom discourse, ever. He was a real person, with a family that’s still grieving. He made some slightly off colour jokes once or twice in his entire lifetime, whoop de doo. He never even got to meet some of his closest friends face to face. He died before ever reaching 24, and the entire last months of his life were dedicated to raising as much money as humanely possible to make sure that those who came after him would have even better treatment than he did. Do not talk shit about him. Genuinely I cannot stand it. I do not care about whatever justification you have, I don’t care if you think he was problematic or the fandom is cringey or whatever fucking braindead online take you have about a dead cancer patient and his grieving audience, do not talk shit about him.

[greenjudy]

Fenris, Solas, hair: a rant

Probably not the Bioware Hair Rant you were expecting, so be warned. No spoilers beneath the cut unless you have not played DA2 or DAI. The opinions expressed are wholly my own and I have been cranky about this for ten years now, so sorry about that. Or have fun. Your call.

Remember Fenris? Remember his hair?

Remember the discourse? Of course you do.

Back in The Day, when Inquisition was on the way and concept art from DA2 was getting widely shared, I remember reading some process notes from devs, beefing about Fenris's hair. 'Whoops, we made JRPG hair.' 'Romance novel hair.' 'Yaoi hair.' 'We fucked up.' What followed were some admittedly very accomplished concept artworks showing Fenris with shaven head, or Badass Warrior Hair. "Much better," the devs said.

But why?

Fenris's hair was telling a story about this character that the devs regretted nurturing. "It makes Fenris seem... well... you know. Kind of fairytale hero? We gotta push back on these narratives, complexify them, 'dirty them up,' because we are Bioware, and that's what we do."

So then, Inquisition drops, and Solas appears: bald.

I tell you this: Bald Solas is PTSD-induced pushback, a knee-jerk dev reaction to the mortification that is Pretty, JRPG, Yaoi, Fairytale Fenris.

And I resent it.

Not because there is anything wrong with telling stories about bald people! Because it is painfully obviously reactive. Because it's such a dramatic presentation of dev anxiety about being cringe.

The decision falls into the one pattern in Bioware's storytelling that really annoys me. It's like a writer who must always have a Twist, no matter what: Bioware cannot let us have nice things.

"At all costs we must shake up the narrative! No matter how arbitrary the result, we must turn expectations upside-down! Reality is Edgy; people are Complicated; pretty hairstyles for heroic men are an Embarrassing Aesthetic Problem.

"We must resist! That kind of storytelling is Bad. Besides, People are Not Like That Really. Anything good? Make it morally grey. Anything pretty? Shave it off!"

Whispered beneath this: "These are things teenage girls like."

[waitmyturtles]

I want to offer a few follow-up thoughts (long post), as promised as I process process process, on the whole Thua situation in episode 11 of The Eclipse. I am especially inspired by the excellent discourse on this topic by @respectthepetty on a number of points: 1) that Akk may have had his outing coming to him as he was essentially a bully as a prefect, and 2) that Aye had also outed or threatened to out others, and us viewers either didn’t even notice (whoops, me) and/or forgave him much more easily than Thua. @respectthepetty in the comments of one of their posts also writes that in outing Akk, that Thua was actually following the rules/practices of the way Aye had done his outings, and that nothing is black and white here, which are both very excellent points. I’ll get to the black and whiteness, or lack thereof, this whole plot sitch in a sec. 

(I also very much appreciate the lovely @lelephantsnail‘s reblog tag of my last Eclipse post about Thua’s Machiavellian side, which I can totally see. Thua Apologists Club, ha!)

So I’m still holding anger towards Thua, and the discourse on Thua is forcing me to understand why I’m feeling this way (and y’all know I lurve when a drama does this to me). And I think I am understanding why I’m twisted in a knot in confusion as I process the arguments that support Thua:

I think Thua’s accusations and revelations against Akk, and THEN his revelations that he continued the curse, were out of order for me. I think it’s literally the flow in which these things were written and revealed that are messing me up.

If I had found out FIRST that Thua had done the banner and the burning -- we then would have been led to ask, WHY. “WHY did you do that, Thua?”

And THEN, Thua could have said: “well, the dudes that were continuing the curse -- Akk and Namo -- fell off the train. And there was more truth that needed to be revealed. I feel for the young protestors. I did things that scared them, but didn’t physically hurt them. I needed to get to this moment where we could confront Chadok, because my stepdad gave me a significant clue about that POS. And I’m angry that I knew about Akk doing the more dangerous shit, and Aye helping to cover for him. All y’all need to admit y’all fucked up, and me too.”

IF that order had been established, then I think Thua and his actions, as written, would have come off as more legitimate. Instead, I unfortunately think that the way in which Thua FIRST reveals all of the stuff about Akk, in front of a potentially homophobic and dangerous audience of schoolboys, WITHOUT ALSO revealing his role in front of that same audience, and holding back those extra curse details until he was safe with just his homies -- to me, it seemed to make Thua out to be a little sniveling revenge guy. 

I just unfortunately think this wrongheaded writing set-up has led to Thua getting so much hate from the Eclipse lovers on the tag. But again, I TOTALLY SEE the points that the pro-Thua supporters are making. Because you guys are right, too. It wasn’t fair for Aye to out Thua. @respectthepetty, to another point you made in the comments -- Thua absolutely has anger. He’s angry because he lost his dad, he’s angry because his stepdad is a punk, he’s angry because his friends are also punks, hiding their bad shit, covering for each other, and he’s aching because of what the protestors are going through because he’s a good guy on the inside, and can’t stand that all this punking is leaving the protestors vulnerable.

But, ultimately, I think the writers punked Thua. I think the pro-Thua audience is picking up on everything that gets Thua upright in his morality in these moments. But the writers let his character down with this out-of-order reveal situation, and he ends up looking a little weenie because of it (completely 100% in my humble opinion). I’m bummed, because I think there could have been potential for a much stronger display of awesomeness from him. 

Finally, @respectthepetty notes in the comments of the second post I linked that some folks on the tag are saying that outing isn’t right in any situation. I definitely admit that I completely blanked on the moment that Aye outed Thua to Thua’s mom (I do remember cringing, but I didn’t identify it as an outing moment specifically). You also note that nothing is black and white in this show.

I just want to emphasize and support this, because while I’m criticizing the writers for the way in which *I think* they punked Thua, that at the same time, these characters are REALLY COMPLICATED. Before I read your comment about black and white, I had definitely processed (while washing dishes, ha) that each character is very deeply nuanced. The aspects of commentary about depression and anxiety vis à vis each of the characters is different, and how they manage their survival of Suppalo is different. 

I think it was @bengiyo that also said in the comments that folks on the tag that are critical of the Thua storyline are expecting linearly fluffy BL storylines, and that The Eclipse is far more complicated than just being linear to a happy ending. I want to say again that while I’m critical of the writing regarding Thua in this post, that I SO AGREE that this script is holding heavy and complicated weight. And I think that’s why we’re all loving the show so so much. It’s holding a lot. Aye, especially, is an all-over-the-place character with a lot of nuance to him. Akk joins those ranks, Thua joins those ranks. For my sake, Thua got ran over a bit by the need from the writers to pace faster to end the series, but I have really appreciated being confronted with diverse discourse that supports Thua outside of my original wtf feeling towards him. 

WHEW! Much much much respect to the pro-Thua supporters out there, y’all made me THINK AND PROCESS A LOT! <3

[the-nova-council]

Picrew: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/582810

We're the Council, nice to meet you! Here's a quick introduction to each of us:

Apollo ☀️ The head of the Council, our beloved leader and older brother figure. He gets shit done and we love him for that! He also keeps us functioning and we tend to fall apart when he's in the void for a long time.

Felix 🐈‍⬛ That's me, author of this post! And reluctantly the host for now. I'm the researcher and compiler of information, but I also get really sad a lot, sorryyyyy

Artemis 🌙 Our social butterfly and hair dye expert, sk8er girl, skin care routine, taker of showers and brusher of teeth. And a gossip! She does, in fact, want to hear about your friend's mom's crush who works at the drugstore, and your neighbor's beef with the mailman, please spill the tea. (Also took co-front to help write these so I'm here now, Hiiii! -Artemis)

Cora 💜 Our middle and a major component of our mask- she was the host throughout childhood! Loves to be colorful and messy. A free spirit and creative artist and poet!

Wyldfire 🔥 On all levels but physical, he is a wolf. Awooo - For real though, he has a teen form and a wolf form and is quick to anger. He likes loud, bass-heavy music, will bite people in a mean way, and has a strong sense of justice.

Elias 🪞 The only non-asexual member of this system. Has his own separate Tumblr account because he's a bit of a freak /affectionate. He is allowed to post friendly things here but if he's in a mood he will be banished to his private account and/or horny jail.

Mino ⭐ Our little! Beloved baby boy, he rarely fronts and doesn't type so good, but he is a sweetheart.

Eerie 🌀 Local gatekeeper is the only member of this system who doesn't like coffee, more at six. Eerie stays near front the majority of the time and helps things run smoothly, despite being our most recent split Apollo considers her his assistant and right hand man. (I'm his left hand man :3 -Felix)

Epsilon ⏰ Our only known fictive, so far removed from her source she is unrecognizable! A Time Lady of Gallifrey, survivor of the Time War, medic and mechanic, she is our mother figure, caretaker, and favourite backseat driver. When she fronts, we don't emote much and speak in a freakishly flat tone, and she doesn't experience many emotions! We love that for her /gen

Angel 🪽 Self-identified persecutor, he is also our oldest friend. Angel is the only member of our system who isn't atheist/agnostic, which is indeed a little weird. Nonhuman, a little creepy, rarely fronts, suspected trauma holder... Being of divine love and divine justice. And catholic Guilt. Whoops.

Additional system info: The body is 22, we collectively use they/he pronouns (individual intro posts will be made by those who want to make one when they come to front!!), we are an undiagnosed traumagenic OSDD system, we have other mental health issues we will not be listing here, English is our only language, we are American, we are queer, we don't tolerate hate or exclusion, and we are quick with the block hammer. We don't have time for discourse. We welcome any and all friendly interaction though!

Bastion 🛡️ Rare fronter, high memory barriers, low communication. He has recently begun sharing more, and even spending time in the headspace! He likes hiding (but not seeking), and bunnies. He is an age slider similar to Cora, within the 6-12 range.

Merricat 🌸 Clone of a fusion of Felix & Cora! They chose their name from We Have Always Lived In The Castle and has many traits from each of the original components of her fusion, but has grown into an individual since then and even co-fronted with Felix!

Main Blog, which existed long before we had our syscovery, and will continue to be run as usual: @apollo-zero-one