#who's Superlative too but not in a positive way

[scottmccallsy]

The Hot Girl Scene: A Close Reading

The most important exchange on Teen Wolf deserves its own deep dive.

We start, as always, with Stiles making the inciting comment:

Stiles: Everyone wants you, you know? You’re like the hot girl that every guy wants

The first thing that jumps out here is the confidence. Stiles’ assertion leaves no room for doubt or question, and demonstrates his absolute surety in this statement. The word choice in “everyone” too implicitly includes Stiles himself, as he carves out no exceptions in the terms.

Interestingly, Stiles narrows the scope in the second sentence in a specifically gendered way. It’s a simile, sure, but the initial statement was clear enough that it wasn’t warranted, making its inclusion telling of Stiles’ meaning and intentions. “Everyone” turns into “every guy”, making men those who actively desire, and Scott is compared to the “hot girl”, equating him to an object of desire to the men under discussion (presumably, heterosexual). This specifically gendered delineation seems to be playing on societally expected positions of those who desire and those who are desired, bringing Stiles’ point home.

Stiles’ body language speaks to his inclusion in this list: he starts by putting an arm around Scott and then drawing away to face him, giving his full attention and making Scott the object of the gaze of the viewer as well (including the viewer in his general statement, in the “everyone” of his initial assertion):

Scott’s reaction to this is surprise, bafflement:

Scott: The hot girl?

Scott has discounted the overwhelming implications of the first statement and has latched onto the second, on his own role as an object of desire. He is clearly unaware of the affect he has on those around him, which is indicative of his character as someone who is oblivious to his own influence.

At this point in the scene, Isaac walks in, standing in the same side of the frame as Stiles and adding another set of eyes towards Scott. This further frames stiles and Isaac as the viewers and Scott as the person who is viewed, cementing his hot girl status.

Stiles doubles down on his simile and turns it into an extended metaphor:

Stiles: You are the hottest girl

Stiles takes his initial statement (hot girl) and turns it into its superlative (hottest girl), awarding Scott the highest possible level of hotgirlhood, a knighthood of hotgirldom. This underscores the power Scott holds as an object of desire, and also takes the elements of uncertainty of the simile (removing the “like”) and turning it into a declarative statement (you are). This removes from the figurative nature of the statement, moving it into the realm of literal.

Stiles extends his arms and smiles before leaving (a physical manifestation of his point, as he is reaching out for Scott):

After a moment of hesitation, Scott has this moment of realization:

Scott: I’m the hot girl

Here, Scott turns his first line (a question) into a statement: he is the hot girl. He’s not quite sure how to feel about this yet, about the immense responsibility and the position this role puts him in.

He looks out into the distance (away from the audience, from the gaze of the camera). He’s not quite ready to face this fact:

Isaac steps in here instantly to add his commentary:

Isaac: Yes you are

This statement is quick and without pause: Isaac demonstrates, without any context of the conversation, the truth of Stiles’ statement by confirming that he too believes in this argument in its individual scope and meaning. He models the “everyone” in Stiles’ inciting comment whilst also placing Scott in the role of desired, demonstrating the meaning of “hot girl” in this context without even having heard the argument that led to the statement. This also follows with what we know about Isaac’s devotion to Scott.

While he delivers this confirmation, he looks at Scott directly, not breaking eye contact: the strength of his gaze and the confidence in it represents the collective here:

The scene ends with Scott, with us as the audience embodying Stiles’ statement as he is framed towards us, giving Isaac a grin as he now comes to fully believe in and accept his role:

[iwriteaboutfeminism]

i worry a little about the message that because the current state of things is bad it must be the sitting president's fault.

yes biden has failed loudly in a handful of areas that progressives care about deeply and should not be sheltered from that criticism, but the fact is biden as president has done quite a bit out of the view of the media that genuinely will make this country more livable (particularly for queer people, union workers, etc.)

has the democratic party done enough to counter the rise of far right sentiment either in terms of policy or messaging? god no.

but also failing to acknowledge the things the democrats get right only reinforces this culturally conservative moment we're wading through. democrats notice the rise of right wing populism, try to triangulate to what the perceive as the new center (i.e. center-right/far-right), piss off their progressive voters, and then finally make the asshole republicans look good in comparison

again i dont want to spare biden from criticism. you're right that he NEEDS to step down if the democrats want to stand a chance in the election

but in working towards that goal, spreading a message akin to "well gas prices are super high rn fuck joe biden" that removes the complexity will only cause more disillusioned young progressives to stay home and more moderates/independents feel okay with supporting trump in spite of how god awful he is

sorry for the long rambly ask. i just wanted to throw some of these ideas around since (like basically every marginalized person in the us) i care DEEPLY about creating as much incentive as possible to vote against trump

Thanks for writing in and sharing your thoughts and perspective!

I have no problem with people talking about Biden's positive accomplishments. In fact, I think political campaigns should be much more about a candidate's positive accomplishments and plans to actively pursue future accomplishments, than to nearly exclusively fear monger (however accurately) about their opponent. People certainly understand the use of voting against a candidate, but they really do prefer to vote FOR a candidate.

Anyway, my criticism of people calling Biden our most progressive president is that it seems to overstate the facts to the extent that they threaten disbelief and ultimately lessen the effectiveness of that argument.

I think it would be more effective to list Biden's positive accomplishments in a "these are good things for a government to do, and I want to support the party/candidate who does things like this," type of way, rather than, "If you don't agree he is individually the BEST thing that has EVER happened to the American presidency, then you MUST be a filthy fascist." It's just obviously taking it too far.

Admittedly, the average American does not follow politics closely, but they're experts in their personal, everyday lives. And because people mostly don't follow politics closely, most people don't make political decisions based on ALL the available facts. They make decisions based on the information they're exposed to everyday. If Biden was as progressive a President as some people claim him to be, I promise that more people would have noticed, because most of the biggest progressive priorities are the kinds of things that would directly impact everyday life.

There is definitely a sizable list of good things that Biden has done. I think that stands on its own, and adding onto that with the claim that those things make Biden a progressive superstar only really makes people DOUBT the impact of those things because they know the superlative isn't true because that's definitely something they would have noticed. It's actually counterproductive to what they're trying to do by making that claim.

Once (hopefully) Biden steps aside, I hope the party is able to focus on the sizable list of good things they will actively pursue to make people's everyday lives better.

[jerzwriter]

This Christmas

Book:                   Open Heart (Post Series)

Pairing:                Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Kaycee MacClennan)

Rating:                 Teen

Category:            Holiday/Fluff

Summary:           Kaycee is eagerly looking forward to picking out their Christmas tree; but Ethan turns it into a night they’ll never forget.  

Words:                 2487

A/N:                    And…. they’re engaged. 😊 I did steal one part from one of my all-time favorite movies. Let me know if you spot it. I’m participating in @choicesflashfics weekly prompt event.  The prompt is highlighted below. Also in @choicesdecember2022 Day 19 – both Christmas lights and Lover from day 19 are fitting! And lastly, @choicesholidays I'm so glad we found each other.

The beautiful artwork is by the incredible, fabulous, I have no more superlatives to describe how much I adore her @/artbyainna on Instagram.

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS.

It was a chilly winter day in Boston, and Dr. Ramsey was spending it the second-best way he knew how. Shifting positions underneath his warm, down comforter, a content smile was on his lips – when the alarm clock had to go and ruin it all. After muttering a few select curses under his breath, he hit snooze. That will show who’s boss. Then he turned to hold the person who made Saturday afternoon naps a part of his world… but found her spot vacant.

He sat up with a look of confusion and wiped the sleep from his eyes. An attempt was made to groggily call her name, but when he heard her hair dryer, he knew there was no way she’d hear. He was about to roll over and give the snooze button the respect it deserved when the comforter was yanked away.

“Hey!” he yelled, but his dismay dissipated the moment she replaced it. This was a much better way to keep warm. He smiled as she straddled him, leaning over to pepper him with kisses, but there was a problem with this picture.

“Wait…” he interrupted, “why are you clothed?”

“Because it’s almost five o’clock, mister!” Kaycee teased, “And we have evening plans that require clothing. Now,” she ordered as she jumped off of him. “Get up!”

“I love it when you’re bossy,” he growled as he rolled to his side. “What would it take for me to convince you to come back to bed.”

Kaycee raised her eyebrows in mock-disappointment. “What has happened to you? The Ethan Ramsey I knew and fell in love with would have scoffed at the idea of napping. He would have jumped out of bed, complaining about wasting the afternoon the second the alarm went off.”

“Mmm,” he groaned, “Well, that Ethan Ramsey didn’t have such a wonderful time exhausting himself with you after lunch. Are you sure I can’t convince you to go for round two?”

The pleading in his voice and puppy-dog eyes he offered would have normally had her bouncing back into bed in an instant, but not today.

“Sorry, Ramsey,” she winked. “But our Christmas tree isn’t going to pick itself out.”

She thought back to last year, the first Christmas they spent together. He watched her with horror as she spread lights, tinsel, and garland throughout his condo. Joking that if he sat for too long, she’d likely decorate him too. Her response? A large bow slapped on the center of his forehead. 

But this year so much had changed. It was their condo now, and he was the one who suggested they shop for a tree today. He may not have known it, but seeing him embracing the joy of the season meant more to Kaycee than any gift that would appear on Christmas day.

“Oh, that’s right. We have a Christmas tree shopping date,” he grinned, “Don’t we.”

“Yes!” She beamed, jumping up and down with the excitement of a child. He couldn’t help but smile. Whenever he thought she couldn’t be more endearing, she went and proved him wrong.

A half-hour later, they sat hand in hand in the front seat of his car as he started the ignition. 

“I’m really shocked you didn’t make me wear those reindeer ears, or at least a Santa tonight.”

“I considered it,” she smiled. “But relationships are about compromise, right? I’m just happy you wanted to get a tree without my asking… I wasn’t about to push my luck.”

Ethan let out a little chuckle. Didn’t she know? She could get him to do just about anything. 

“So there are at least a dozen Christmas tree lots throughout the City. Do you know which one you want to go to?”

“Yes, the one by the old firehouse. First, all proceeds go to charity, and second” her eyes lit up, and she clapped her hands, “they give you hot chocolate after you pick your tree!”

“Well, then that’s a done deal, isn’t it?”

“You better believe it!”

It was still early in the month, so the selection was plentiful, and the crowd was thin. Kaycee walked from tree to tree, examining its branches, smiling as if she were greeting an old friend. Ethan’s mind returned to last year when they performed the same task at another lot closer to his home. While it was a lovely memory, he knew he wasn’t the most pleasant company. 

She insisted he needed a tree. He informed her that he had survived over a decade without one,  and he'd visit her apartment if he really needed to see one. After all, she and Sienna had converted it into a virtual winter wonderland. But Kaycee said it wouldn’t do. Begrudgingly, he tagged along, insisting every tree was too big, too grand. But Kaycee carried on undeterred. 

“You’re not getting a Charlie Brown tree, Dr. Ramsey! So I suggest you lose the Scrooge act and get with the holiday spirit! Otherwise, I’m not pulling out that sexy holiday lingerie later.”

“Oh, you’re resorting to bribery?”

“I like to call it creative encouragement,” she winked just before they returned to his condo with the second-largest tree on the lot.

But this year was different. He suggested Christmas tree shopping a few days before over breakfast, trying to convince himself it was inevitable. He may as well beat her to the punch. But the truth was, he was looking forward to it. He even measured a space in the living room to see how big a tree could fit; he was sure they could outdo last year’s. 

He turned around and found Kaycee, her eyes aglow and her cheeks rosy red as she danced around under the twinkling lights. She knew the words to every holiday song that blared over the scratchy speaker. Though her singing was out of tune, he was sure he had never heard, nor seen, anything more beautiful.

She had brought Christmas back into his life. Something he had scarcely acknowledged since his Mother left home. Even when he had celebrated, it felt contrived; something he did to please others but never for himself. But it was different now. He hadn’t told her yet, but he picked up his old train set from Alan’s last week. He thought they could set it up to circle underneath the tree, just like he had as a child. It only dawned on him as he was standing there, but that memory had vanished and only came back for one reason, and that was her.

A young couple in gauche Christmas sweaters awash in tinsel and jingle bells sauntered by, pulling him from his thoughts. He went to Kaycee’s side and smirked as he pulled her near. “See,” he whispered. “That’s what I thought you’d have me wearing tonight.”

“Ethan,” she giggled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“What,” he half smiled, “You wouldn’t do it?”

“Of course, I would! But I know it’s not your thing!” She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her toes to kiss him. “I want you to be you. But I’d still appreciate it if you put on those antlers in the bedroom,” she winked. “Now, come with me. I think I found our tree.”

Grabbing his hand, she pulled him across the lot and stood before a respectable tree. Not the biggest nor the grandest on the lot, but she looked at it as if she had found the most amazing tree in the history of trees.

“What do you think?” She breathed, gently touching the branches. “I think this would be perfect in the spot we had ours in last year.”

But he couldn’t hear her. Staring at her in complete wonderment, their story flashed before his eyes. The naïve rookie assisting him over a patient not ten minutes into her first day. Sitting by his side and comforting him the entire night after Dolores died. Helping him treat Naveen. The kiss on the balcony, then in the opera box. Him pushing her away time and again, the sadness in her eyes growing more profound each time, but her resilience growing along with it. The night he held her in his arms, fearing it might be her last. When he realized living without her wouldn’t be living at all. Their smiles when they finally confessed what they felt and committed to being together. The first night she stayed at his condo, moving in one article of clothing at a time. Then she was there for good and, at long last, a place to live had finally become a home. Before she came into it, he had lived a good, full, and successful life. But it took this stubborn, brilliant, beautiful woman with a heart of gold to make him see he was living, but he wasn’t alive. 

“Ethan? Did you hear me?” He shook his head as he came back to the present. “What do you think? Will this one do?”

Sometimes in life, decisions require a lot of thought. They need research, planning, and lists of pros and cons. The most important choices in his life always did, and he thought that’s how it should be. But standing there tonight, surrounded by Christmas trees, under a canopy of twinkling lights as Silver Bells filled the air… Frank Capra couldn’t have directed a better scene, and he knew what he needed to do; nothing had ever been crystal clear. Nothing had ever felt more natural.

“Ethan?” She waved her hand in front of him, “If you don’t like it, we can pick another….”

“I’m sorry,” he said with a shake of his head, “it’s just….”

“Just what?”

“You… you really deserve so much better than this, Kaycee. But it can’t wait….”

“What? The tree?” she asked, facing it and fluffing its already full branches. “I mean, maybe a little primping wouldn’t hurt, but it’s a lovely tree. I don’t think that I need any more. Why do you….”

The world seemed to stop when she turned to him. Covering her mouth, she let out a gasp when she found him on one knee. 

“Ethan, what are you….”

“Kaycee,” he said, taking her hand with a gentle smile, “I probably should have done this better. I see what people do these days, and this… well, I didn’t do any planning at all. No friends will pop out from behind the trees. I don’t have a custom-made ornament, not even a photographer to catch it all….”

“Ethan?”

“I hope that’s all right with you because all I know is I have to do this, and I have to do it right now. It can’t wait.”

“What? What can’t wait?”

“Sometimes I wonder why you put up with me for so long. I didn’t make it easy, but you never gave up. You knew we were meant to be from the start, and so did I, but without you… we may have never seen it through. What a tragedy that would have been because my life would have never been whole without you in it.”

“OK, Ethan,” she asked with a quivering voice, “what are you saying?”

“What I’m saying is I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t want a day to go by without you in it, and I hope you feel the same. There could never be anyone else for me, and there never has been anyone else for me… it’s you, Kaycee… and if you’ll have me, I want you to be my wife.”

“You… you what?”

“I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me, Kaycee?”

She tilted her head in confusion. “But, but you don’t believe in marriage… right? I thought that’s what you said, and….”

“I didn’t believe in it, but I believe in you. I believe in us, and I think we could show the others how it should be done.”

She covered her mouth and chuckled while choking back tears. “So it’s educational. We’d be doing everyone a favor. Right?” she laughed, then she turned serious again. “You want to marry me?”

“More than anything. So, are you going to say yes?”

He’d never forget that moment, the look on Kaycee’s face as she stood trembling before him. The moment her shock turned into pure joy. She later told him it was then she realized it wasn’t a dream.

“Yes! Yes,” she beamed through tears. “I will marry you. I would be so happy to be your wife.”

Ethan’s eyes went wide as genuine surprise registered on his face; for a second, she worried he had changed his mind. “You’re, you’re serious. You’re saying yes?”

“I mean, unless you don’t want me to,” she laughed.

“No! I want you to. So,” a smile lit up his face as he gasped. “You’ll marry me?”

“Well, we have to show people how it’s done.”

Before she had finished, Ethan sprang to his feet and took her in his arms.   Her laughter filled the air as he spun her around to the spontaneous applause of the onlookers they hadn’t noticed until now.

“You had us worried there a moment, lady,” an elderly man yelled. 

“I’m sorry,” Kaycee giggled.

A little girl peeked out from behind her father's leg, “I think you’re supposed to kiss him now.”

“We can arrange that,” Ethan grinned as his lips met hers. 

“Not to sully the mood,” the old man’s wife hollered, “but don’t you have a ring?”

Ethan’s eyes went wide with horror… “No, I… I don’t… this wasn’t exactly planned…I just knew I couldn’t wait anymore and…” he nervously turned to Kaycee. “But I’ll get you a ring. I’ll get you any ring you want. We can go shopping tomorrow….”

“It’s OK, Ethan,” she beamed. “That’s not important.”

“What do you mean not important?” The old man yelled. “When a man proposes marriage, he should offer a ring.”

“He’s right,” Ethan said, looking down at his hand. He took off the gold signet ring Alan had given him at his medical school graduation. “He’s absolutely right.” 

Dropping to his knee once more, he held up the ring for Kaycee to see. “Will you accept this… as a holder… until we can get a ring worthy of you tomorrow?”

“I’d be happy to,” she smiled as the crowd clapped again, including the old man.

Kaycee looked at the ring on her finger and beamed as her new fiance hugged her from behind. 

“I don’t know what I thought was going to happen tonight,” she smiled, “ but this was definitely not it.”

“But are you happy?” He asked.

“I’ve never been happier. I love you, Ethan.”

“I love you. So, should we buy this tree to get you your hot chocolate? I want it to be a perfect night for you.”

“You know what, I think you already have that covered.  But yeah, we’re definitely getting this tree!”

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Additional tags in reblog.

[lexa-el-amin]

Me again! So, "genau," can it be used in basically any situation to express agreement? Like it means anything from "right" to "exactly" correct?

In what situations would you say "toll" or "große" instead of just "super" if you want to say "great"?

Is hübsch strictly used to describe someone's appearance? Like why would one say that instead of schön for example?

Do Germans say "crass" a lot? Does it have it have multiple meanings?

Do you have a word for 'whatever'?

Say I'm speaking to someone in German and I screw up and say like, der Rechnung bitte, instead of "die Rechnung"? Would I still be basically understood? What are the worst mistakes to avoid?

I'll be back :)

Hey Anon! sorry for the wait, life is busy :)

1) genau

"Genau. Da liegst du genau richtig." - "Right. you are exactly right." 🤓 "right" and "exactly" are great translations, but in some cases i would say it is also used in a way that doesn't totally mean "exactly" but more so to say "me too" you know? e.g. "ich sehe das genau so" - i see it the same way as you do. or "Ich würde das genau so machen wie du" - i would do it the same way as you did.

2) "toll" is for metaphorical greatness and "groß" is for literal greatness. and "super" is either used on its own and is a synonym for toll (e.g. "Das ist super!") or it is used like a superlative basically, so in front of another adjective, e.g. "Du bist super schnell" - you are very very fast or "Ich bin heute super genervt" - i am really annoyed today.

3) yeah, i think "hübsch" is really only used to describe appearances. with the exception of my grandma who always says "das schmeckt hübsch im Mund" (this tastes pretty in my mouth) but I think she made that up herself 😂

4) yes, we do say "krass" a lot. i don't really know how to accurately translate it, it's to show that you are impressed, be it in a negative or in a positive way. e.g. someone tells you a story and your reaction could be "das ist krass" or it is used like a superlative too, e.g. "ich habe krassen Hunger" (i am very very hungry).

5) let me introduce you to "egal", which is a beautiful word to say "whatever". you should listen to this song about it.

6) yes, of course you're still understood, if you use the wrong articles!

i can't really think of any "worst mistakes" right now tbh. but if you want to i can pull one of my german linguistics book out of my bookshelf and tell you a few tips on how to know which article to use with which noun, because there are a few rules at least.

[dolcebellabaker]

Finding the Lonely

You know how when you open the Facebook mobile app, the default feed is the home feed that shows top posts from pages you follow, suggested posts from pages you don't follow based on the algorithm, and posts your friends are tagged in? Well, last October, one of these tagged posts grabbed my attention more than usual.

My dad's cousin and her husband are both teachers so they were tagged in a post by a friend (/fellow teacher?) that focused on one teacher's efforts to help lonely and bullied kids. Basically, every Friday, she asked her students to write the following in slips of paper: 4 classmates they wanted to sit next to the following week (she posed this as creating the seating chart) and 1 student they wanted to nominate as an exceptional classroom citizen. These were given to her privately and anonymously. She then laid out all the slips of paper and looks for patterns: students who are never picked, students who don't know who to pick, who doesn't get noticed enough to be nominated (but she knows should be), who had lots of friends last week but none this week. Because what she's really looking for are the lonely kids, the ones struggling socially, as well as whose gifts are going unnoticed and who's being bullied vs. who's doing the bullying. Once she figures out the kids in each of these categories, she does something about it, figures out how to help them.

Initially, I thought this was a good post about a great idea. As I continued thinking about it, though, my selfish "what about me?" thoughts took over: Why didn't MY teachers think about this? Or at least do something similar? Yes, I had friends every once in a while but for the most part, I usually sat still when my teachers let us pick our partners/groups for projects or assignments. Why didn't they notice that I was lonely and do something, anything, about it?

Maybe if they had, I'd be different. Better. I wouldn't be shy. I wouldn't be an introvert. I wouldn't be socially incompetent. Hell, maybe I'd be better in other ways because of friends I'd made earlier in life, especially if we stayed friends as we grew up: I wouldn't be a picky eater and instead would be more adventurous when it comes to food. I'd like the outdoors (and maybe the rain). I wouldn't be intimidated by any exercise machine/method that isn't the treadmill/walking (except for Irish dance, of course). I'd like and understand sports that aren't baseball. I'd like coffee (and/or tea). I'd see my back office/assistant job as a stepping stone to a higher position (specifically a leadership one). I would know how to drive. I'd like alcohol. I wouldn't be aromantic and asexual. I would've left the US at least once to go to a country other than Canada.

I know just about all of this I can change on my own, even at (almost) 38, and that I'm just too stubborn and stuck in my ways to learn social skills, learn the ins and outs of friendship, try new foods, etc. But I definitely think that things would've been different and a lot more natural had I been given the guidance earlier in life, first from teachers then from friends.

I used to refer to myself as being "silently bullied" because while my classmates and peers never made fun of me or anything, they still seemed to actively ignore me. Their thinking seemed to be "Just leave the quiet girl alone; no need to bother her. She seems to be fine on her own." I mean, it was so bad that if we'd had senior superlatives in our yearbook like previous years, I'm not sure enough of my classmates knew of my existence (or my name) to nominate me for "Most Shy." 🤦🏼‍♀️ Eventually, though, I stopped using the "silently bullied" term because let's be real - it's not a thing.

Granted, the teacher in the initial post had started the "seating chart request" exercise after Columbine. Because she knew that "outward violence begins as inner loneliness." So this was her way of trying to prevent that. But even though I'm essentially a pacifist and have never even considered shooting up my schools (or anywhere I spend a lot of time at), it still would've been nice to have this when I was a kid. To know that someone noticed how lonely I was most of the time and wanted to do something about it.

[spellbcok]

@mvsicinthedvrk : for euntak: [information] – what is a question or two that [euntak] would have found themselves frantically googling at some point during their horror corn maze experience? 

"what are the side effects of eating too much steak?" "what kind of powers do ghosts have?" she most likely would have googled both of these questions upon meeting the first strange thing. or any question that could explain this fever dream or hallucination. of course, she'll realize that this is all very real and whatever webmd results she gets will not help her to get out. 

@apothmuses : [superlatives] -- out of [ji euntak’s] friends and family, who are they pretty sure is going to make it out of here without dying, and why? who are they positive is going to end up getting themselves injured or killed, and why?

euntak is pretty sure everyone she knows will make it out of the maze without dying. most of her friends and acquaintances are just far more equipped to handle themselves (in her opinion). she's also an optimist, so she doesn't accept negative thoughts. she has less certainty when it comes to injuries, and thinks most of them will be injured in some way or form as they can handle themselves but also are the headfirst into danger types.

@irresistiibles : [alternate universe] -- if [euntak] wasn’t stuck in the seemingly endless maze, how would they normally be celebrating halloween? feel free to have fun and be creative, as your muse does not currently get to have fun (presumably, unless they enjoy this sort of thing)

this would’ve been the first year that euntak would not have celebrated halloween, actually. since she started seeing ghosts in her everyday, euntak wants to avoid subjecting herself to them on a day when she’ll have a harder time determining who is a ghost or not. so, she probably would’ve spent the night in and handing out candy if she were not stuck in the maze.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Her Good Side Book Review 🦇

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐

❝ "I like food 'cause good food tastes delicious. Did that cause me to gain weight? Sure did, but I'm pretty sure it didn't turn me into a bad person." ❞

❓ #QOTD What high school superlative bests describe you now? ❓ 🦇 Bethany's reputation feels set in stone: Crybaby Bethany who tears up at everything, three-point shooter superstar, daughter of two moms with prominent careers in professional basketball. Unfortunately, that rep leads to getting turned down twice when she tries to find a date for homecoming. When her bestie Saylor pairs her up with the guy she's currently dating but can't attend homecoming with, Bethany agrees to go with Jacob as friends. Jacob's earning his own rep, after getting dumbed twice in the same month. After Saylor breaks up with Jacob, he and Bethany decide to start faking dating with the hopes of fixing their shattered reputations. What happens when they catch feelings in the process?

💜 Rebekah Weatherspoon provided us with an adorable YA that brings attention to so many topics we're prone to shrugging off. Bethany Greene is a plus-sized high school basketball player who has a family legacy putting unnecessary stress on her shoulders. Here's the secret: she doesn't actually WANT to play basketball. Bethany's real passion is cooking, but there's no way she can tell her moms. Guys seem wary about asking her out, too, especially when they find out Bethany cried after hearing her friend lost her virginity. Jacob, on the other hand, got dumped because he wasn't comfortable doing more than kissing; they're both perceived as "less" for wanting to experience a relationship at their own, comfortable pace. Though Bethany knows she's beautiful inside and out, it doesn't always feel like the world sees her plus-sized body that way. From dress shopping to feeling like people saw my weight as an infliction they could catch, I empathized with everything Bethany felt about her weight and then some. The high school emotions Bethany and Jacob felt were real, honest, and self-aware. Their goal of communicating through their fake relationship, to ensure the other's comfort while prioritizing consent, was sweet and far more mature than most high schoolers have the capacity for.

🦇 While I did think the story was cute, the pacing felt a bit off. The events leading up to the homecoming are too slow, when that's not the story's main conflict. Once we do reach that supposed stress point, there's a lull again. Though I'm happy Bethany gets her HEA, it also felt a bit too easy (the reveal about one of her moms certainly felt misplaced, especially given her few interactions with Bethany throughout the book). While Bethany does get her HEA, I wish we'd gotten more for Jacob's ending.

🦇 Recommended for fans of Nicola Yoon or the fuzzy feelings of a cute and fluffy YA. If you have a weak spot for fake dating, diverse casts, and supportive friendships, give this book a read!

💜 Have you read this book yet? Let me know in the comments!

✨ The Vibes ✨ 💖 Fake Dating 🪞 Body Positivity 💬 Dual POV 🏳️‍🌈 Diverse Characters 💕 YA Romance

🦇 Major thanks to the author and publisher for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i cant bring myself to watch batboy because i know itll get me sad but id like to thank you for introducing the wonderful boy known as edgar into my life and heart

he’s too good………like really they just Had to have this irreproachable vessel of Humanity like, right off in the greek tragedy opening number like “watch the terrible mistreatment of this cryptid” and it delivers this wildly earnest well-intentioned bat teen up for just like, this Doomed Existence…..he just wanted to be Accepted……..and they were all on board until parker ruins everything b/c he’s the devil. eugh anyways we can always imagine the “parker doesn’t exist, or is killed really quick” Everything Works Out Better aus and stuff but yeah like, it’s funny that canon is so super weird in a way that’s fun once you get your bearings, but it’s also like……….lurking just around the corner are Real Feelings and Genuinely Being Invested and those sneak up on you sometimes :(

sorry i forgot abt this ask for a couple days l m a o ……..but yeah i mean even if nobody wants to tackle the Very Strange Greek Tragedy content of the entire plot and all, it’s great to just listen to b/c like. super fun rock musical, laurence is out here with the bangers Again……you’ve got the recurring musical Themes, but each song is distinctive and has its own Musical Style……..it’s super enjoyable imo. i mean comfort and joy is natch The essential number but the whooole albums gr8 imo

[avelera]

Stede & Ed, Old Money & New Money

This is potentially an unpopular opinion (?), but I will say there is a slight nuance to the class discussion in Our Flag Means Death specifically around Ed and Stede and where they meet in the middle as far as class and wealth. It is not rich vs. poor, or at least not just that. Rather, it's the trope of New Money vs. Old Money.

(I know Tumblr cuts these long posts automatically these days but this got rather too long for me to take the chance.)

(By the way, race is an element of this discussion too, absolutely, I just don't feel I'm the right person to talk about it and it deserves its own deep and nuanced discussion independent of this narrow one around class and wealth I want to ruminate on here.)

The fact is, Ed is rich when we meet him in the show and he behaves like someone who is "New Money" rich. As much as Ed had a poor upbringing, he doesn't currently, on-screen relate much to other poor or working-class characters of the Revenge. Ed's not stuck-up about it, to be sure, but neither is Stede (for the most part). But the people Ed relates to directly are not members of the crew. His familiarity is really limited to his First Mate Izzy (and I personally think even that is a stretch and that he treats Izzy as a trusted employee but not a friend) and Stede, as a fellow ship's captain. Ed's friendly and even familiar with other crew members, like Frenchie in the fancy party episode, but they never connect on a personal or intimate level beyond the level that Ed is friendly with everyone. The other person Ed relates to as an equal is Calico Jack, who also introduces himself as a ship's captain, if a temporarily embarrassed one having recently been mutinied upon.

Much of the narrative tension Ed feels around the upper class when it comes to wealth and prestige is based on the fact that he has, "more riches than you can shake a stick at," but he doesn't know how to use them. This is the classic New Money vs Old Money trope. Ed wants Stede to teach him to, "live the high life," because he doesn't know how, since Ed achieved his position through skill and necessity, which precluded the "elegance" of Old Money.

Ed is in awe of Stede packing the hold with marmalade for his personal comfort and how he privileges that over his own survival, not as a foolish act (though it is) but as a rather supremely elegant one, bordering on arrogance, where having the superlative marmalade for one's enjoyment at breakfast is deemed as more important than grubby concerns like having extra stores of gunpowder for a potential battle for one's own survival. Ed might know intellectually that for Stede it really is a foolish oversight, but he can't help but be impressed by how it plays to the brand of the "Gentleman Pirate" who is so far above such concerns that he can prefer the elegance of a gentleman's lifestyle over the necessities of pirate life. That's part of what makes Stede fascinating to Ed.

The New Money vs Old Money trope is a fairly well-trodden one, going back thousands of years (Marius vs Sulla of the Roman Republic are one of my personal historical favorites). The trope, for those unfamiliar, is that Old Money doesn't respect New Money, but while New Money has more power and vivaciousness at its disposal it feels keenly the gatekeeping of Old Money, even if that Old Money is tired and in some cases almost spent. New Money desperately seeks the respect of Old Money, who will never give it, while Old Money jealously desires the fresh wealth of New Money and needs its vivaciousness to survive. Old Money, therefore, uses the byzantine restrictions of its wealthy lifestyle to lock New Money out of its inner circle, isolating and mocking New Money for not understanding things like which silverware to use and other silly rules that take a lifetime to learn.

What makes Stede interesting in OFMD and prevents the tired cliche of this meeting of Old vs New from playing out the same way as it does everywhere else is that Stede is giving up his privileged Old Money position to meet Ed in the middle. More importantly, Stede lacks the class arrogance of Old Money and respects pirates like Ed far more than he cares about the refinement of other people's upbringing or lack thereof. As far as we can tell within the story, Stede is fairly class-blind and as noted, seems to see the refinements of a gentleman to be a lifestyle choice one can be worthy of simply by having a sincere wish to do so, rather than something that is based on birth. (This is a huge part of why Ed finds him so fascinating and attractive by the way, in my opinion.)

Now, Stede is privileged enough that his "abandoning" of his Old Money fortune still puts him ahead of the pack, he can "start" with a well-appointed ship (though only a single one and not one that's competitive against a British naval vessel) and pay his crew a salary. But what makes Stede in some ways redeemable is that he does not trade on the overwhelming wealth of his Old Money to give himself a fleet or frame himself as better than other pirate captains (beyond dressing better, which goes back to Stede seeing being a gentleman as a lifestyle choice open to anyone rather than a birth privilege). Rather, Stede's reducing his personal wealth down to "upper middle class" or perhaps "lower upper class" to be the pirate captain of a single vessel because it's what he passionately wants to do. He cares about being a pirate captain more than being extremely wealthy and comfortable.

(Interestingly, in S2, we're going to see Stede without any wealth or property, even the Revenge, truly forced to rely on his own wits to survive and that promises to be a very interesting story.)

To go back to Ed, while he is a man of many uncertainties with a great deal of self-consciousness around his upbringing that still plays directly into the New Money trope. Ed these days is not poor or of a lower wealth class. He's also not insecure about his ability to rebuild his wealth again should he lose it. These days, he has supreme confidence in his ability to succeed in any industry he sets his mind to.

Rather, Ed's bashing his head against the glass ceiling of the next level of success. He wants to be respected and comfortable by those who are also wealthy and he wants to be welcomed among them. He craved the acceptance of the fancy nobles at the party and didn't want to hear from Stede that they're awful and not worth his time. It was shattering for him to be so roundly rejected by the French aristocrats. The New vs Old Money trope becomes a romance rather than a competition based on the fact that both Ed and Stede are meeting in the middle and the lesson conveyed from that encounter isn't that Ed as New Money will never be accepted by the Old Money elite, but rather that he doesn't need to be because the best part of that group, Stede, wants to meet him in the middle and there they get to be themselves and create a world that makes them both happy, away from society at large with all its restrictions and prejudices.

I think the point I'm trying to get to is part of a larger one I've been ruminating on around Ed's well-earned pride, that so often goes unremarked upon or unacknowledged. Ed deserves to be proud. He clawed his way to the top of a difficult and brutal field to become the most famed and feared pirate on the sea. His meeting with Stede is a meeting of two people who have reached the top of what society says we should want: to have a successful career or to have a spouse and children, and both have reached that goal and found themselves to still be unhappy. They meet in the middle in forging a new path. But Ed still deserves, for better or worse depending on the views of the audience, to be acknowledged for what he is on the page in the story: a wealthy man, albeit one who came up through a criminal enterprise (not to say that Old Money didn't!) who sees in Stede the final step that has been denied him, the final privileges of the life he has earned: luxury and the respect of his financial peers.

Clearly part of what drew his fascination to the idea of Stede, the Gentleman Pirate, is that someone would be born into the life he wants and then choose the life he has. He was immediately fascinated, perhaps seeing Stede as a means to an end only, perhaps in love with him a little from the first time he heard of him (as I believe) but definitely one way or the other set on an idea that he couldn't explain to Izzy (who wouldn't understand): that Ed hoped by interacting with this Old Money Gentleman Pirate to achieve by education or by violence that final step of respect and luxury that is so often denied to New Money, according to the age-old trope that is also often the reality.

[ectokelpeigh]

Ectopsychology

aka coming to terms with being a redheaded know it all in grad school for experimental psych so I might as well RP Jazz

Looking at what makes humanoid ghosts distinct from animal ghosts and humanoid living things. And by extension, what makes them similar.

TL;DR: Ghosts are bored and they can fly so of course they're disasters

Ghosts + Evolutionary Psychology

The ghostly obsession trope isn't my jam as a plot device but I think it's got merit and it's a good tool for laying theoretical foundation so let's break that down:

Living things have an evolutionary drive to survive (rhyme not intended) that modifies our behavior in implicit (but very powerful) ways. Hypothetically, our motivation for any action is "live long enough to reproduce" if you peel away every other layer.* I personally think humans are separated from beasts by their astonishing tendency to overthink in averse behaviors, but I'll get back to that.

Anyway. Ghosts fail step one ("live long enough..."). Buuuuut the utility of reproducing is passing on your genes, letting them "survive" past the organism's death. That's moot for them too (I guess they do it anyway, but the advantage is pretty much nullified). IIRC, we don't have explicit proof that complete destruction or even permanent catastrophic disability are in the cards for full ghosts.

This all suggest evolution doesn't have the same hold on ghosts as it does on living things, they seem capable of experiencing mental and physical duress. They are pain-avoidant. But they're not inert; they still engage in potentially risk behaviors. They come to Amity, fight Phantom, etc. It's fair to suggest the vacancy of "basic motivation" of "survive" .

Ghost Cognition: Legacies

Where does that leave us? All guesses are valid. A good place to start with a theory is looking for patterns, and in psych that often entails at common traits. I see two standouts: reputation and domination. I think it's a matter of one being more dominant (heh) than the other in a ghost-by-ghost basis.

Leaving a legacy is parallel to reproduction. It's just longevity and persistence of a part of the original as opposed to a, well, reproduction. If you subscribe to the theory that they're the ones who are traditional ghosts (deceased humans, not indigenous to the GZ) it makes sense that the most anthropomorphic ghosts focus on it. Some part of their consciousness metamorphosed at the point of death such that they remained active agents.

I'm operationalizing "legacy" as an impression of the self persisting in others' memory in their absence. I'm being vague on purpose because these things are mercurial. It can be something you contribute (positive or negative) to the community or a reputation.

Think about it: what do we remember about a person or group when they're not around? Typically, it's whatever makes them stand out from every other person or group you could be thinking of at the moment. We desire to create and maintain reputations that align with our identities, and dissonance between the two is incredibly distressing.

Maybe humanoid ghosts are created when they're so aroused (in the ambiguous sense of the word) at their time of death at the distress of not having solidified their desired legacies acted as a conduit for becoming their legacies. Ember wants to be remembered. Skulker is after a superlative. Lunch Lady wants the way things were to continue being. Klemper's after social connections, which is an oddly endearing mini-legacy. Spectra wants lasting beauty. Youngblood idolizes historical caricatures. The Ghost Writer persists through art. Technus's "Master of All Technology" shtick sounds more domination-oriented but he's not really about ruling people, I think the semantics lean towards mastery of a craft.

Ghost Cognition: Indulgence Theory

Biologically ghosts and humans are obviously very different, but I think the main difference between them psychologically is ghosts are free to live deliciously. Because they're so much less complicated and vulnerable biologically, they get to fuck around and find out ad infinitum.

Honestly you can use most of what I just said as support for obsessions. Do it, go buck wild. Live deliciously. I actually think obsession theory is cool as fuck, and mostly it's just not my jam in stories. @phanboyo about sums it up here.

Here's where I butt heads with general obsession fanon on a theoretical level: legacies are complicated. I think formerly-alive humanoid ghosts are psychologically distinct from currently-alive humans in that their most basic motivation has been supplanted by personal desires they developed later in life. But even the most eccentric, most obsessive people aren't one-dimensional. Even if we don't always act logically our actions are influenced by every experience we've had to that point. They're distinct from alive-humans, but they're also too distinct from ghost animals (which, for argument's sake, are more singularly obsessive).

Human-ghosts demonstrate behaviors that suggest they're still functionally people. Inhuman but whole people. They make truces, they compromise for reasons that have more to do with after-living well than pursuing obsession. Ember wants you to remember her name. Skulker's (yes I'm counting the angry blob because he presents as human-shaped by hell or high water per identity/preference/self-image) idea of a great hunter goes beyond "success in hunting"; he likes a challenge and has a concept of honor. Poindexter overshadowed Danny to stop him from bullying, but he also used Danny's body as a second chance to connect with people. Even the Lunch Lady has layers: she wants the menu to stay the same but she'll pump the brakes on her warpath to offer sweets to kids or comment on Danny's nutrition. The fact that any of them have character development is a big proponent.

So why are they still uncanny caricatures? Well, ghosts' motivations are simplified and their cognitions are expedited because they have a lot less to worry about (mortality and avoiding dying covers a lot of it). In plain english: if they are tired of being nice, they have much less reason to not go ape shit.

Think of it as privilege: when people can take necessities for granted, they act pretty ridiculously (sighs @ billionaires).

You can still call this obsessive in a more colloquial sense, but clinical obsession implies they have other things they're ignoring to a degree that averse to their prime directive. That's not a problem. Even if their legacy is their primary motivator, they don't (canonically) suffer experience ill effects from taking a break from pursuing their obsession like a human experiences taking a break from breathing/sleeping/eating/drinking. (Except Spectra. I have thoughts on her but I don't want to derail myself too much so she's going to the footnotes**)

The domination-dominant ghosts are those like Vortex, Undergrowth, and Nocturne. I haven't put a whole lot of thought into them except they're caught in between humanoid and animalistic in terms of complex thought (aka reason aka "steps between perceiving environment and reacting to environment) and personality. For all we can see they want to rule for the sake of ruling/power (Pariah, Nocturne, Undergrowth) or destruction (Vortex is kind of a gray area even in this gray area but his definition of "success" has a consistent endgame of destruction even if he talks about weather like it's art). They can make plans and solve problems but their drive is singular.

Clockwork is tricky to categorize but I think it's because he goes above humans in the "complex thought" ladder. Very sexy of him

Ghost Cognition: Flavor

aka personality but what is personality if not human flavor?

Now it's time to address a potential hole in my indulgence argument: if legacy was more or less the impulse that stimulated ghostification and now they have no need to adapt to anything, there's no need for variation. They could just vibe. They could have no motivation for anything. Variation is a product and conduit of evolution.

Defining "personality" at all is still a hot topic in psych, kind of like measuring intelligence (is it the ability to retain knowledge? acquire knowledge? solve problems? notice patterns?). The basic starting point is along the lines of "the combination of an individual's consistent reactions over time". But how much time? What does "consistent" mean? Our personalities change all the time. I'm not the same person I am at school versus home, with coworkers or friends, or even with one combination of friends and another. And the frequency and magnitude of a trait's fluctuation can be considered a trait. You can call it adaptability, flexibility, mercurial, etc.

Note: When I say "trait" you can think of the Big Five. Most people agree it lacks nuance but it gets the idea across that traits are essentially units of personality. A brick in the castle.

Anyway. Safe to say humanoid ghosts pretty obviously have distinct traits in combinations that are distinct from other ghosts' as much as living humans do. Yeah, they all shout their plans but even ignoring Cartoon Villain Logic, Ember isn't as inclined to do so in the same detail as Technus. Maybe because she doesn't think in as much detail, but that's another difference of note.

So... How? Why?

I don't know about "how" but the "why" is a kind of chicken-egg deal.

As caricatures, humanoid ghosts have personalities we associate with their themes, but there's a reason we have those associations in the first place, you know? "Liking rock music" isn't a trait, but an outcome common to people with a certain mix of traits exposed to certain stimuli, however complicated that equation may be. Boil those traits down and they're the product of a certain arrangement of neurons firing in response to certain stimuli at a certain frequency.

I mean:

So if our hypothetical "how" of ghostification captures either a) a snapshot of the nervous system (or just the brain, or even just parts of the brain) for a or b) multiple snapshots of a smaller area for a temporally dynamic model, there's a ton of information that can act as the base code for a ghost personality. Obviously it's a BONUS if we get both a and b, but I just want to get the point across the brains powerful as fuck

Amorpho is a good example of the pliability conundrum. Let's assume he's a formerly-alive human ghost. He claims to not have a face and I think it'd be easy (and not unfair) to assume that as a human he had a weak sense of self, and that carried over to his ghostliness. He was invisible because he couldn't get noticed if he wanted. When he went ghost (hehe, dying it "ghost going" but most people can only do it once), there wasn't a solid model to imprint onto ectoplasm so she has to borrow shapes. I think that he was a troublemaker and one of his strengths was adapting. He does have his own shape. He just liked playing pretend so much in life that in death it wasn't a priority. He revels in having range.

In conclusion:

Human flesh is so needy. And it can't even fly

meat with electricity - meat + goo = ghost

*I don't want to fall into the trap of suggesting that we all exist to reproduce because that slides into eugenics territory real fuckin fast. It's addressed at length later but just to be thorough, a disclaimer: 'reproducing' strictly refer to offspring. We can leave legacies other than passing genes on, which is a brilliant human thing. We raise other humans' young (even if they have no relation to us!), we leave legacies by impacting communities and sharing ideas.

**Spectra is a good talking point for how ghostification isn't the joyride I kind of make it sound like. It doesn't always go smoothly or result in the ideal image. Spectra and Amorpho (and Technus's upgrades) show that even though ectoplasmic forms don't have consistent maturation by default, they can certainly fluctuate involuntarily or be manipulated. That's edging on biology which ain't my forte but I'll throw two theories out there:

A dying brain isn't exactly the ideal model. Brains work really fast when they're alive so depending on when the process starts and how long it takes there might be plenty of time to get a decent read. Brains also die pretty damn fast. If you make a copy of a torn-up piece of paper with coffee stains, your copy will look like a torn-up piece of a paper with coffee stains. Something similar happens in cloning: you don't get a baby version of the original, you get the individual at they age at which their DNA was extracted.

Even not-dying brains have flaws. Living people have quirks, and not all of them are fun/pleasant. Ghostification obviously doesn't produce 1:1 models. It would be neat to speculate on which traits tend to last at all, and which last faithfully (as opposed to being exaggerated). Is Spectra a shadow by default and she's biohacking by building human visages? Or does she look young and vibrant naturally and she suffers without nutrition?

[fremedon]

Brickclub 5.15.3, “Enlightenment and Gloom”

The barricade is lively with the dawn, anticipating the attack with confidence that they can repel it long enough for the support they know is coming: regiments that are expected to turn, allies, and eventually the whole city. Enjolras goes on a brief reconnaisance, returns with the news that the city has not risen and their position is doomed, and an anonymous voice from the back cries out that they will defend their position to the last man, and “make the protest of corpses.” These words “dispelled from everyone’s mind the oppressive gloom of individual anxieties”; the insurgents cheer.

The unknown speaker is explicitly the voice of Providence:

He was some unacknowledged worker, unidentified, forgotten, a passing hero, that nameless champion always involved in human crises and social turning-points who at a given moment says the decisive word in a superlative way and then disappears into the shadows, having momentarily, in a flash of lightning, represented the people and God.

At the level of the book’s magic system, they’ve been doomed since Le Cabuc--and Enjolras, at least, seems to know it, though he’ll be glad to hear the city waking up a little later; he’s resigned to a last stand as the best of bad options and fears there won’t be a better one, but I don’t think you can read this as him choosing not to save himself. Certainly he’s not damning his men; the next chapter after this, following immediately from this moment, Enjolras will try to send away as many men as he can, even though logistically that will be limited to the number that can disguise themselves as National Guard. By the time they had intelligence of how hopeless their position was, it’s too late to get them out of it; such is war.

And “the protest of corpses” is how revolutions have started, both before and after 1832; and, in a way, it’s an answer to the accusations of cowardice thrown at barricade fighters by soldiers in 5.15.1 and called back to last chapter.

But it’s also expiation for Le Cabuc, not just morally, but in terms of optics. @pilferingapples pointed out on Discord a while back that, if they had slipped out overnight while they might have had the chance, they would have been the rioters who trashed a shop and murdered a bystander and then disappeared without consequences. Standing and fighting--while the forces of order, which could have simply starved them out, bring a whole third of the armies of Paris against them--makes them heroic enough to wash Le Cabuc’s stain from the movement.

But the part of this chapter that always makes me choke up is this:

Enjolras reappeared. He was returning from his gloomy eagle’s walk in the obscurity beyond. He listened for a moment to all this joy with his arms crossed, one hand over his mouth. Then, fresh and rosy in the growing whiteness of the morning, he said, “The whole army of Paris is fighting. A third of that army is drawn up against the barricade where you are. Besides the National Guard, I can make out the shakos of the Fifth of the Line and the colors of the Sixth Legion. You will be attacked in an hour. As for the people, they were boiling yesterday, but this morning they’re not moving. Nothing to wait for, nothing to hope for. No more from a faubourg than from a regiment. You are abandoned.”

Just. His body language in that one image--wrapping his arms around himself, covering his mouth, literally holding himself together while he watches his friends laughing, in the last moments before he has to go tell them they’ve been left to die.

The pain in his posture, and against that, the reminder that he’s still rosy-cheeked and physically untouched.

And--I just realized--he’s coming in through the Mondétour alleyway. WHERE THEY LAID OUT THE DEAD. He’s all alone with this AND HE’S STANDING NEXT TO THE CORPSE OF BAHOREL AND OH GOD, tomorrow is Five Less, One More and the day after that is Quel Horizon and this readthrough is going to BREAK me.

[heartbellamy]

hello my darlings! it’s that time of year again, where everything is pink and fluffy and heart-shaped. last year i did a countdown series of some of my favorite ships, which was challenging but fun! but this year i thought i might do something a little more interactive. that’s where you come in!

this celebration is a little mix of a follow forever and a creator game. the part where you come in is down below! it’s a mix of popular content creator memes and some extra goodies i threw in for fun, and all you have to do is pick whatever one calls to you and send me an ask with the mentioned information, and voila, you’ll get a custom fanwork! how fun is that? not only is it a way to give back to my little community, but it also strengthens my creativity, so i think that’s a win-win, no? plus there’s options for both visual and written content, woo! ✨

take a look below and then send something in here!

color palette meme: send me 🎨 + a color palette and a character, ship, show, movie, etc. and you’ll get a gifset inspired by it timestamp roulette: send me ⏱ + an episode or movie and you’ll get a gifset of random moments make me choose: send me 👯 + two (or more) characters, ships, episodes, shows, movies, etc. and you’ll get a gifset of my fave! wardrobe meme: send me 👗 + a character, movie, or show and you’ll get a gifset of my favorite outfit superlative meme: send me 📚 + a superlative (best smile, cutest couple, etc.) and you’ll get a gifset of who i think best fits the theme writing prompt: send me 🖋 + a prompt for a one-shot fic! can be as detailed as you want, as long as you include the ship, character, fandom, etc.

as for the follow forever part of this post, i suspect this might get a little long, so i’ll be putting it underneath the cut! but don’t worry, i love you all imensely and am so happy you’re here. i might get mushy, but hey, valentine’s is a good excuse right?

love fest aka follow forever is down below!

@togetherkru my darling stef! or as i call you in my head, my partner in crime clarke. first of all, i’m so thankful and lucky to have you over at @dailyclarkegriffin, i really had no idea what i was getting myself into and i really can’t thank you enough for the help! secondly, i honestly can’t imagine being in this community without someone as wonderful and positive and supportive as you. i’m sure i’ve said it before but you really are such a light in this community and i hope you know how much we appreciate you! a sunflower for a sunflower 🌻💛✨

@bellamyblake iva, i can’t express how grateful i am for the support you’ve given me from the start. whether it’s my own creations or bcso or just a chat now and then, you’ve always been around to support me and even offer me kind words when i wasn’t at my best, and i hope you know that truly means a lot to me! as someone who came back to the t100 fandom later on, it could feel a bit like being the new kid coming in during the middle of the semester, but your support has and continues to make me feel included 💙

@klarkegriffin lynn, obviously everything i said about dcg goes for you too, the love and support i got when opening the doors was so lovely and my little clarke partners are just two wonderful people honestly. on top of that, i wanna talk about what you’ve done in the community. i know you do a lot and keep up a steady flow of ways to keep the creativity in the community alive, and i hope you know that it is greatly appreciated. i don’t have to tell you that this fandom can be tough, but the projects you’re involved with have done so much! you’re a wonderful part of the community and i’m glad we have you 💞

@queen-of-the-wallflowers15 i don’t think we’ve actually talked here on tumblr! but it felt silly not to mention you when all the work you and lynn do has helped me and my writing process so tremendously. i honestly don’t know where the bellarke writing community would be if not for you two. bellarke hub has been an absolute godsend for me and my writing process, even when i feel like i’m in a total rut, seeing the prompts and the microfics and everything are really so inspiring and have helped me when i thought i couldn’t even write a single sentence. plus i love all the writing you do yourself! basically this is a big thank you 📚💜

@infp-with-all-the-feelings @carrieeve @spacebell @ninappon @igotbellarkeforthat @bookwormforalways @moreflowersthanweeds @pendragaryen @natassakar my sunflower kru! this is getting long even under the read more so i just wanna mention the bellarke gang that keeps this fandom alive and together, you’re all grand and thanks for including me even though i don’t always show up 😂💗 (sorry if i forgot anyone! i went by my mentions but just know i love and appreciate you all!)

HONORABLE MENTION TO ALL THESE BABES 😍☀️🌻💛✨

@agentsofoakenshiield @andromedabennet @astridandoddsandends @aucelu @behlamy @bellamyblakru @bellamysgriffin @damn-salvatore @divinepairings @emziess @excuseyouclarke @fandomscraziness22 @fearingdark @frecklesandfanfics @gansxythethird @harpermiller @helloeurydice @hey-there-juliet @iheartbookbran @imcristinayang @immortalpramheda @isweartobreathe @izloveshorses @jeanie205 @kateemcintyre @kombellarke @lee-em-dee @loveforbobandeliza @luminouswriter @nakey-cats-take-bathsss @nathanmillers @ohtwilight @pawprinterfanfic @searamour @soulintheskies @sparklyfairymira @star-kovs  @starkzmalik @starsinyourskyes @stealing-jasons-job @superficialseer @travllingbunny @userlexi @whateverthehellhewants @who-needs-reality-anyways @writetheniteaway @xxawalkinwonderlandxx

[female-buckets]

5/14/22-Phoenix @ Seattle, from a fan who wore yellow, green, purple, and orange to the game. This is the first live WNBA game I've been to since 2005. I haven't yet listened to any interviews or broadcasters or watched any highlights. I haven't read anyone else's opinions of the game. These are just my impressions (with a little help from the box score because my memory's not that perfect)

(Part I) (Part II) Part III

Diana Taurasi: Every superlative falls short.

When Diana walks into the arena, something in the air changes.

She has a reputation for wild behavior. And I guess I expected her to be like Skylar. Fiery, moody, and explosive. But live, Diana's energy is calm and positive. She is completely at ease, engaged in the present moment at all times. Her extreme focus is unparalleled. But that focus isn't forced. It's effortless and relaxed. She's totally at home in that mental state. A calm, relaxed, confident, flow state. I guess there's no such thing as an away game for Diana. Every basketball court in the world is her home.

Most TV broadcasts begin at tip-off. So they miss a very critical moment. Diana decides when the game starts. After shoot-around, each team huddles around their bench. The refs are over at the scoring table. The court is empty while everyone goes over some last minute discussions. But Diana has nothing to discuss. It's time to play. She steps out from her huddle and walks directly to center court. She stands right in the middle of the center circle. One lone player on the court looking out at the 12,500 spectators in the arena. Her teammates notice first and follow her to center court. Then the referees. Then her opponents. Diana greets the referees and opponents one-by-one as they reach the circle. She shakes hands, hugs old friends, as if she's inviting them into her home. And then the game begins.

Diana has definitely earned her reputation for wild behavior a hundred times over. But it doesn't come from a place of mania or frustration. The wild behavior is a natural product of the flow state she's in. Every time she did something crazy, she was completely relaxed and calm.

At the beginning of each half, Diana has a peculiar maneuver that she does. I have no idea what to call it or how to explain it. I've never seen this on a TV broadcast and I can understand why. It's not a TV-friendly maneuver.

Let's call it a demonstrative crotch stretch. She stands at the top of the key, wide-legged stance. She grabs the front of her shorts. And then she moves her hips in a circle to stretch out her crotch. I'm serious. I couldn't make this up if I tried. I thought I hallucinated it, but my friend saw it too. And then Diana did the exact same thing at the beginning of the second half.

So, there's that.

Part of me really wanted to see Diana earn a technical. But Skylar went crazy early in the game and got T'd up. That let the arena know who the Mercury is and what they came to Seattle to do. So there was no need for a Diana tech. But it was still fun to see DT debate calls with the refs. And I got to see her pat a ref on the ass. She is truly something else.

And then there's the offensive brutality. Watching Diana play pinball with the Storm's defensive scheme was wild. Her physicality is the most controversial parts of her game. I was watching it closely live, trying to figure out how she gets away with it. She's not just randomly shoving people around. Putting your hands on someone and just pushing them over? That would get you a whistle. Instead, Diana makes contact in a very deliberate way. Always with her forearms. She's not going at people full speed or blindsiding them. Post players in basketball always brace against other players with their forearms and jostle for position. These are regular movements allowed in basketball. Nowhere in the rulebook does it say guards aren't allowed to do this. Diana jogging a lap around the defense and bodying all 5 defenders is just her extreme interpretation of "jostling."

DT still gets whistles for offensive fouls, but only when she has the ball. So it's a fine line that gets finer when the ball is in your hand. So Diana tailors her physicality to be as whistle-proof as possible and adjusts according to who's officiating. Until the rulebook is stricter about who's allowed to jostle where, referees can't whistle most of what she does.

But there's definitely more that she does outside of that tailored physicality. She pulls out her dirtiest tricks when an opponent loads up to hack or foul her or a teammate. She always knows when the refs are about to whistle an opponent. Just before the whistle, she'll find a way to full-on brutalize someone. And these tricks never get called because refs are focused on something else.

So that's how she does it. But wow. Seeing her do it live, it's fucking merciless. She's just jogging around, calm and relaxed. But everyone she bodies gets knocked off balance. She does this throughout the game. If you're in a defensive scheme, you're supposed to be focused on a certain player or zone. But then you see Diana serenely jogging towards you and all bets are off.

While she's circling the defense and bodying people, she's constantly communicating with her team. She's constantly directing, coaching, adjusting. The offense that the Mercury runs is not complicated. With Diana's help, they tweak, adjust, and improvise around the same handful of plays.

On defense, Diana continues the constant direction and communication. People often criticize Diana's contributions on the defensive end. She doesn't move like a defensive guard at all. She lets some guards get by her and she doesn't chase after individual players. Instead, she watches all five offenders, figures out what play they're running, and coordinates the Mercury defense to stop it. Her primary focus on defense is rebounding and making sure Mercury players are blocking out. She's far less physical on defense than on offense.

Then, out of nowhere, she'll decide it's time to use up a foul and commit a full-body defensive football tackle.

I don't know which is worse. On offense, you know she's going to knock you off balance every chance she gets. You know what's coming. On defense, she'll give you a little space to work. But there's always a 1/100 chance she'll come for your life.

She definitely picked up that tackle from Tamika Catchings. Catch would come for anyone like that at any time. DT wanted to emulate her intensity in Mercury/Fever play-off games. She started tackling Catch back. I think it was a twisted sign of respect more than anything. DT only tackled certain players like Catch, Svetlana Abrosimova, and Katie Smith. And now she does it to Jewell Loyd once or twice a year. It's a messed up ritual. But it seems like DT just wants to make sure the Catch legacy gets passed on to the next generation. DT just wants to see Jewell tackle her in return. Before, during, and after the game, Jewell was the Storm player DT spent the most time hugging, chatting, and laughing with.

The DT/Sue jump ball was incredible. It set the whole arena on fire. It was a perfect, perfect moment.

All 6 of DT's threes were beautiful. Seeing that jumper in person, it's so much higher off the ground than I thought it'd be. The ball moves so fast through Mercury hands. And suddenly DT is in the air with that beautiful shooting form, her torso rising above her defender's heads. And she seems to hang in the air like that for an impossible moment. Then there's +3 on the board and she's jogging back on defense, calling out directions.

She always finds a way to hit those threes at just the perfect moment to dictate the pace of the game. Her release is so fast, I don't even realize she's caught the assist before it's arching into the hoop. There was one three she took directly in line with where I was sitting. I could see the ball's arch leaning far to the side. Instead of perpendicular to the court, the arch was leaning at a 60° angle to the court. I thought "oh, this one is definitely off." It went in. Nothing but net. Of course.

The step back three in the last minute of the game was my favorite. It was wildly flashy. When DT takes a shot like that, you know the game is over and the game is hers.

Diana knocked down those final free throws and ended the game. As calm and cool as she was when she started the game.

There wasn't much fraternizing on the court between the Mercury and Storm after the game. There was a bit of that after the Wednesday game, but I didn't see it Saturday. My seats were on the second floor right above the Mercury tunnel. I could look over the railing and see the whole tunnel scene. I cheered for the Mercury as they jogged back to their locker room. Their faces were hard and serious even though they'd just won. It was a brutal physical game. And Storm fans aren't always polite to opposing teams. I think the Mercury just wanted to get out of that arena.

Diana stayed on the court for her TV interview. When she walked over to the tunnel, several Mercury fans were waiting. She took the time to talk to each of them and sign their jerseys.

The last fan was a mom with a baby. When Diana got to her, the starstruck woman wordlessly held out her baby. Without hesitating, Diana gathered the baby up in her arms. She started talking to the mom and put her at ease. The baby was, of course, instantly charmed by Diana and perfectly content in her arms. The mom was just hoping for a quick picture of Diana holding her baby. But after one picture, Diana wasn't ready to give the baby back. She insisted they take more pictures and made sure the mom got in the pictures, too. She spoke with the mom a bit more, then reluctantly gave the baby back and said her goodbyes. Before heading to the locker room, DT asked a Mercury staff person to get her that fan's contact information.

If you're wondering who Diana Taurasi is, that's who she is.

[amariemelody]

Under the Bonnet Debate, it Smells like Misogynoir

I know that the discourse over Black women wearing bonnets, scarves, head wraps, do-rags, etc. in public is nothing new. I know a lot of the discussion on what Black women can and cannot, should and should not say or do in public period is nothing new. 

I am a Black woman who admittedly would not wear a bonnet (I'll shorten the many coverings we can wear to just "bonnet" from here on out) in public. The most I'll wear it outside is if I'm just checking the mail box, picking up a package outside the door, and/or taking some trash out. Otherwise, I'm inside my home when I wear my head wraps. I sport an afro and admit I've only started wearing coverings regularly as recently as last year. They've helped my hair retain moisture and start to grow even more; they've helped me stop an anxiety tic of mine wherein I pull, tug, twist, etc. at my hair until it's breaking off and my hands have leeched all the moisture out; they’ve also helped protect my hair from the heat of my shower, right under my shower cap.

So I'm a Bonnet-in-the-house Black girl...and I am still 10,000% down for Black women who wear bonnets outside of their home. 

There seems to be a reinvigorated camp for those who say that Black women should never wear bonnets outside of their house. I'm not surprised but one of their justifications stands out to me because it is...an empty, dangerous platitude. That platitude is, to paraphrase, "We should want to look and be our best at all times. Because remember one of us represents all of us."  

One of us represents all of us.

Initially it can sound...comforting and empowering. Simple social common sense for Black women constantly under besiege from misogynoir. It possibly even echoes of popular expressions and movements like #BlackGirlMagic or #BlackGirlsRock, both of which I use and enjoy quite a bit.

But it's not any of those things.

And I don't despise it simply because it's wrong-I despise it because it's actually only half-true and it is a half-truth Black women the world over should reject.

When it comes to bonnets, we're being told that we shouldn't want to be represented on one side of the half-that is, the half wherein we appear less than presentable in public. And bonnets in public are considered less than presentable.

This is playing into a game that all Black women of all shapes, sizes, shades, socioeconomic status, etc. are well familiar: the game of body policing.

Body policing based upon white supremacist, kyriarchal standards. Body policing that neither really benefits anyone nor lets anyone win-not even cishet, able-bodied, conventional white men can win at the end of the day and certainly never Black women.  

And truly the policing of bonnets is but a longtime sibling of overall body policing, which begins even before anyone cares about what we do and do not put on our heads. And that body policing is not just dangerous because of the immense psychological and emotional damage it can create, but because for the most part 1.) black women cannot readily escape our bodies and 2.) a lot of the vitriolic misogynoir is often directed at how our bodies simply naturally occur.

Take my natural body for example. Regardless of the fact that I don't wear bonnets in public myself.

I am a plus-sized, dark-skinned black woman. I am 5"6; weigh well over 200 lbs (stress <i>been</i> making me gain weight long before the pandemic); have broad/wide shoulders; have a natural 'fro; and did I mention that I'm plus-sized?

From the time of my childhood, because of the intersections of misogynoir, sizeism, and fatphobia against my natural body, I have been made to feel that:

Just by existing in public, I automatically take up too much space/more than my fair share of space. It is always space that I do not deserve and I should always work to shrink myself as much as possible and stay out of other people’s way.

I am automatically aggressive, antagonistic, and angry/easy to anger. I'm a hair trigger always just waiting for my moment.

I am naturally dirty/unhygienic and unkempt.

I am neither attractive/desirable (at least not within the context of my own agency and consent) nor should I even <i>think</i> about expressing attraction/desire for someone else.

There's no way in the world I possess any kind of varied, valuable intelligence and thoughts.

There's no way in the world I possess any kind of healthy, mature communication skills.

That was a lot to unpack in not so many bullet points.

And understand this is just what I've learned is projected onto my body as it naturally occurs. This is before I even open my mouth to say "Hello". This is before getting to what I’m wearing. This is before getting to my actual demeanor/aura.

All of this comes before whatever I may or may not be wearing on my head.

On a side note, I hadn't realized how much of this I had subconsciously internalized and how it influenced how the way I moved and navigated my body in public. For example if I need to brush past people, I of course always say, "Excuse me"; I also often give a smile if the person can see it. I do this so easily that it's all but a reflex. But because of the breadth of my body and the brownness of my skin, there's been many a time when I feel that I actually bowled the other person over and shouted at them to get out of my way.

I'm still working on feeling safe and comfortable enough to naturally claim public space.

But yes, that is my natural body which, again, is something that I can neither readily change nor escape. It is often found quite wanting for being positive representation of my fellow Black women.

That means that I have to contend with one side of that half-truth: my natural body as it simply exists is deemed not positive representation of Black women as a whole, is considered to be the rule proven.

And the rule is that, as a Black woman, I am not presentable no matter what I step out of the house looking like. Bonnet or no bonnet.

Now when you get to my personality, traits, habits, etc…I’m very much the opposite of what is projected onto my body. The contradiction people don’t expect often starts with my voice: it’s naturally soft, pretty low in volume, and a little high in pitch. I smile readily and easily (hell, sometimes I smile and make funny faces in my bathroom mirror to make myself feel better). I’m often so agreeable and companionable that when I was a senior in high school I won the senior superlative of “Friendliest” out of 400+ other senior students. And to this day people still say that I am [one of] the sweetest, kindest people they’ve ever met.

I am a giant nerd who absolutely loves to learn and has generally done well in school all my life; when I can quiet and clear my mind enough for it, I am an avid reader. As an adult, I still often find myself being as inquisitive about the world around me as when I was a child.

More or less to White and non-Black people of color, all of these are considered positive representations of a Black woman. And people typically just have to get to the “Hello” phase with me to find out one of my above traits.

But when those positive traits are brought to light-and they’re often brought to light quickly-I am now pigeonholed on the other end of the spectrum. That is, I am no longer the rule proven but the exception to the rule.

The psyche of bigotry cannot and does not want to conceive that their target can ever be anything other than the negativities and deficiencies it projects onto them. When said target proves those projections wrong, it is just often far too difficult-possibly even unthinkable-that that single positive can renew and refresh the perception of the whole. Instead, it is much easier for the single positive be treated as an outlier, an exception so that the perception of the whole can remain the same.

White supremacy has many neuroses in place that make sure to always allow White people to win while people of color, especially Black people, always lose. One such neurosis is that when people of color have negative attributes, setbacks, traits, etc. applied to them, they remain the sore thumb that proves the rule, but if they have <i>positive</i> attributes, accomplishments, traits, etc. applied to them…they then become an exception to the rule.

The true phenomenon is not, “Black women, every time you step out of your house, you represent all of us as a whole” but actually, “Black women, every time you step out of your house and you say/do/are something bad or simply perceived as bad (i.e, wearing bonnets in public), then you represent us as a whole. But every time you step out of your house and you say/do/are something positive or simply perceived as positive (i.e, not wearing bonnets in public), then and only then do you represent yourself as an exception to the rule.”

And to digress a little, in my experience it honestly is not fun being deemed the positive exception. It caused me to grow up suffering a huge disassociation between who I was and what I was. From everyone including other Black girls that bullied me for being different from them to well-meaning White teachers, I started to internalize that my personality meant I was not a typical Black girl. Or barely a Black girl at all.

Long story short, it wasn’t until about my early twenties that I was able to start on the road to un-internalize that terrible mess. I learned that I can say that I am nice and kind and smart and giggly and still Black. I am a lot of good things and I am also Black Black Blackity Black. Generally positive traits are not paradoxical with Blackness because to be Black is not a bad thing that must compensated for.

Black girls and women can be and are a lot of good things and our Blackness is one of those good things.

So I’m definitely not saying that being considered an exception to the rule is any kind of accomplishment. It can actually be very psychologically damaging and take a long, long time to unlearn it.

It’s true that Black women will always be burdened with the dichotomy of the half-truth “One of us represents all of us!” because it is an inescapable part of the many neuroses of white supremacy-we lose no matter what we step out of the house looking like.

The core of the issue is not Black women leaving their houses and being visible in public with bonnets on, but Black women leaving their houses and being visible in public period. For goodness’ sake, once upon a time it was the law for Black women to cover their hair in public-hello there, Tignon.

But being unable to escape such a burden does not mean we should be surrendering to it.

We shouldn’t want to believe and buy into the idea that part of taking care of each other is taking on the impossible strain of all of us representing each other. That is not an empowering statement-it is disempowering to the extreme because it’s perpetuating the mindset that we are a monolith undeserving of our individuality. My god, we Black women come in every kind of shade and shape and size and music taste and food taste and language and dialect and we don’t all know each other and we don’t always even like each other.

I just…I’m not yet that old, but the older I get the more and more I feel that sometimes as black women we can not only be our own worst enemies and each other’s worst policers. And I wish deeply and desperately that black women would stop policing each other and policing each other for, of all things, an arbitrary acceptance that ultimately means nothing even if we could achieve it.  

One of us represents just that: one of us.

[lupinsx]

Jealousy

masterlist

Request: Could you do a draco x reader wherein she’s a close friend in their slytherin group (since she’s in slytherin + pure blood) but then she starts talking and getting close to Cedric which makes Draco super jealous but the only reason why she’s close with Cedric now is because she needs advice from him in order to confess her feelings for draco

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: While Y/N seeks advice from Cedric on how to confess, Draco feels unnerved by their apparent budding romance. 

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: A frustrating amount of and misunderstandings (plus a kiss at the end).

a/n — Whew, this was my longest one-shot so far, but also my favourite! I feel like I really outdid myself 😅 The request was so cute, I hope you all enjoy reading this!

tags: @obsessedwithrandomthings

*contact me if you'd like to be added to the tag list!

——————————

Draco Malfoy had always been the one to catch your attention.

Whether it be when you'd both find yourselves in the middle of the Slytherin common room, take a passing glance in the hallway, or even coexist in the Great Hall during mealtimes; he would always reside in the corner of your vision, maintaining permanent tenancy in your thoughts.

It was always the same case. No different after this particular Herbology lecture either.

"Merlin, who decided to make gardening mandatory?" spoke the irritated voice of Theodore Nott. The rest of the group groaned in agreement, the hatred of the class being especially mutual.

You were just dismissed from Herbology, the last class of the day, and was now walking alongside the rest of your Slytherin friends. The group consisted of a handful of fourth years—Pansy Parkinson, Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, Daphne Greengrass, you, and Draco Malfoy. The six of you became inseparable after mere introductions before the sorting; the friendship is still running strong today.

"Cut it some slack," you drawled with a playful grin. "Having a trivial class amidst our schedule does provide a decent release.”

Letting out a mocking chuckle, Pansy nodded. "That's true. Even an eight-year-old wouldn't find Herbology mentally strenuous. It's just playing with plants.”

"And that's why no right-minded student would willingly choose it if presented the choice," Blaise added with a scowl.

While the group continued to slam the class they were just in, you halted your words upon the sight of a familiar sixth year, head peeking out amongst the crowd of shorter kids. Jogging slightly ahead, you crashed into said student with a bone-crushing hug.

"Cedric!" you exclaimed with a relieving smile. He returned the hug with an arm lazily draped across your upper back, inciting a subtle response from a boy standing nearby.

Draco couldn't help but roll his eyes at the sight of Cedric Diggory. Lately, he seemed to be the only person you associate with outside of the group. Unfortunately, you being friendly with certain males was a recipe for a jealous Draco. And Cedric most definitely counted as one of those males.

"Hey kiddo," Cedric replied, ruffling your hair with his free hand before pulling away from the embrace. A faint gag-like noise can be heard from the group, though it ultimately went unnoticed by you.

Lowering your voice to a level audible only to Cedric, you hissed, "I need to talk to you."

"Of course," he mumbled in response before looking to the group of Slytherins with a sheepish grin. Before speaking, Cedric slung an arm over your shoulder.

"Hey, do you guys mind if I steal Y/N for a moment?"

With a harsh sneer, Draco crossed his arms and diverted his eyes from the pair. "She's all yours."

The hasty response enkindled a sense of dejection in your heart. He seemed far too eager to get rid of your presence, though you ignored the prospect of this purely being you overthinking.

"Alright then," you said with a slight stammer. Looking to Cedric before heading off, you added, "I'll see you guys later."

Upon the pair's departure, an ill-tempered expression found its way onto Draco's inscrutable countenance. He released his held arms and let out a loud scoff. It was then when the rest of the group took notice of his visible annoyance.

"What's getting you all cross?" Daphne joked as she landed a harsh pat onto Draco's back. "Is it a certain someone? Or certain people?"

A chorus of ooh's followed as Draco turned away in an attempt to conceal his increasingly red face. Clearing his throat, he adjusted his bag strap before addressing the group.

"I'm gonna rest at the dorm," he lied before abruptly taking off, his speed preventing any responses from being made. Rather than heading to the common room, he instead chose to wander around the hallways. Draco needed to clear his head alone, or else his mind would be consumed with the various what-if's appearing whenever you'd leave with Cedric.

Draco was never one to be jealous. He had always been too absorbed in himself to think quite highly of another. It was only until this year when you had become close with one of the esteemed Hogwarts champions that his self-image no longer feels as superlative.

After all, he had always felt prideful of how someone of your intelligence and grandeur paid attention to him. The mere fact that you choose to associate with Draco, even if it's amongst a group, filled him with joy. But when this widely praised Hufflepuff came into the picture, he couldn't help but feel jealous at the thought of someone else making you happy.

He wanted to be the one that makes you laugh. The person responsible for your gleeful expressions and carelessly wide grins.

But how could he when Cedric had now captured your gaze?

Little did Draco know, he couldn't be further from the truth. He had consumed your head to the point of needing a verbal release, and that's exactly why Cedric came into the picture.

"I wish you had seen the way he handled the Mandrake! His face in those earmuffs was too adorable," you cried from within your palms, face buried in it as you swung your legs back and forth.

You were currently in the library, perched on top of a table as you ranted to the boy seated in front of you. The topic at hand was the usual one, being Draco Malfoy and how utterly amazing he is to you.

“I can imagine,” Cedric replied in a sarcastic tone, chuckling at your love-struck nature.

You lightly slapped his arm. “Don’t make fun of me! You don’t know how hard it is to pay attention in class when he is sitting five feet away.”

“But are you ever gonna tell him that?”

“That won’t be necessary.” You were quick to reject his proposal. It wasn’t the first time Cedric suggested coming clean to Draco about your feelings for him, but it certainly won’t be the last you turn it down simply out of fear. Only if you deem a positive reaction at least 70% likely you will attempt a confession, but until then, you were content with concealing your true thoughts.

Unfortunately, your hasty response caught the attention of Madam Pince, who glared at you two disapprovingly. “Silence. The library is not a place for conversation.”

With a sheepish look, you both stood up to leave. “Sorry, Madam Pince.”

Exiting the library, you and Cedric simply ambled along the deserted corridor, conversing mindlessly about Draco’s soft hair and the Triwizard Tournament. Somewhere along, the Yule Ball was brought up, inciting a small blush on your cheeks.

“You’re gonna ask Draco, right?” Cedric asked with an enthusiastic tone, giving a playful nudge. You offered merely a tentative shrug in response.

“I really want to but... what if he doesn’t agree? What if someone else already asked and he said yes? Or what if he’s waiting for someone else to ask—”

Putting a finger to your lips to halt your words, he gave your shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “Don’t overthink it, he’d be an idiot to say no to you.”

His words proved to be only slightly comforting as you stammered, “But there are too many factors involved; I’m just not ready! How would I even ask him to the ball? How would I know what to say?”

“With practice, of course.”

Cedric grabbed your arms, repositioning your body to face him in the middle of the hallway. He then released your frame and clasped his hands. “There. Pretend I’m Draco. Now tell me how you feel and ask me to the Yule Ball.”

You glanced at him hesitantly for a moment but then eased up after he flashed you a wide grin. “Alright. So uh, hello Draco. I have something to say to you.”

Without you two knowing, the real Draco had just turned the corner, entering the hallway in which you two occupied. Upon seeing the tense atmosphere, he merely stood back, subtly hiding behind the wall in curiosity of what’s being said.

“Yes, Y/N?”

With one large intake of air, you spoke quickly before your mind could second-guess the words being said. “I like you. A lot.”

While Cedric smiled proudly at your confidence, Draco froze in his position. He had always suspected your feelings for the Hogwarts champion, but for you to boldly confess was beyond his predictions. He couldn’t ignore the pangs in his chest following his what-if’s being confirmed right in front of his eyes.

Cedric wanted you to feel assured with what you’re doing, so without any hesitancy, he played along. “I like you too, Y/N. A lot.”

Strangely enough, despite knowing this was a fake confession, you felt mildly relieved. Almost ready for the actual confession with Draco. With a small smile, you continued the practice. “On that note, I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me to the Yule Ball? I mean, it’s alright if you say no—”

Cedric grabbed your wrist, interrupting you with an encouraging grin. “It’s alright. Yes, I’ll go with you.”

You nearly leaped into his arms, hugging him tightly. “Thank you,” you mumbled under your breath, referring to his help in building up your courage. However, it wasn’t interpreted similarly with the boy spying nearby.

Draco’s breath was hitched in his throat as he watched the encounter. His heart only seemed to drop lower with every word, officially crashing upon sight of the intimacy at the end. Of course, he thought to himself in despondency. Of course, she picks him.

He clenched his fist, jealousy coursing through his veins. In an attempt to shield himself from further pain, he walked away, mind and legs set on getting out of the castle immediately.

Though amidst his internal agony, he forgot one small detail; you and Cedric stood merely a few feet away. Draco was quick to realize when he accidentally walked past you two conspicuously.

“Oh, Draco?”

The said boy paused in his steps, cringing at his own dull-witted mistake. Turning on his heel, he flashed a fake smile towards you two.

“Hey,” Draco drawled in an awkward tone, eyes moving anywhere but where you stood. While you appeared positively delighted by his presence, Cedric merely scrutinized his countenance.

“Where are you headed?” you asked, feigning nonchalance to mask your flustered state. However, Draco’s uninterested look and dull tone threw you off.

“Dorms,” he simply replied.

You frowned at his indifference, though tried to brush it off in an attempt to recall Cedric’s words. He had told you not to overthink things, so you weren’t planning on doing so. “Great! I was gonna go there too, wanna walk together?”

It was a bold move on your part. You almost never approached Draco outside of a group setting, so the gesture earned a surprised but pleased glance from your friend. Draco scowled at the sight of Cedric eyeing you, finding his anger rising to the surface once more.

“Actually, I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” And with that, Draco left in hasty steps. He needed to properly clear his head. The first attempt ultimately failed, aiding in his budding jealousy, but another try must be made in order for him to sleep that night without drowning in thoughts of inflicting pain on that Cedric Diggory.

As you watched your longtime crush curve your suggestion with a great deal of speed, you felt the small bit of courage gained crumble down inside you, leaving only a lump of misery residing where the hope had previously been.

“Y/N—” Cedric’s attempt at comforting you was cut short when you immediately turned away, trying to reach your room before you could burst into tears. While he watched your slouched figure make its way towards the Slytherin common room, he couldn’t help but dwell over a particular observation, inciting hope inside him for his dejected friend.

Was that jealousy I saw on Draco?

~~~

The next day, you found yourself indifferent towards the previous night's events. You chose to accept the supposed truth of Draco simply not being into you. Being friends with him was enough, you would tell yourself. As long as you get to see him every day, admiring in secret was enough.

“I wanna go to bed already,” you heard Pansy whine amongst the various other noises filling the Great Hall. Breakfast was nearly over, and the group was just finishing up their meals before getting ready for class.

“Doesn’t everyone?” you interjected with a small chuckle, scarfing down the rest of your toast.

As the six of you prepared to head out at the sound of the bell, a presence made itself known in front of you. They initially went unnoticed, until the absence of chatter and the clearing of a throat brought you back to reality.

Stood in front of the Slytherin Table was Cedric Diggory, his signature smile painted onto his face as he clutched his bag strap. His appearance in this area of the dining hall earned him some contemptuous glares from the Slytherins, though you disregarded their looks as you offered a brief side hug.

“Cedric? Don’t you have class?” you asked, curious at his sudden arrival. Ensuring a particular platinum-haired boy was watching, he wrapped an arm around your waist and brought you closer to him.

“Play along, I’m doing this for you,” he hastily whispered, leaning down to speak in your ear. He then pulled his face back before speaking in a tone audible for the group nearby. “Is it bad that I wanted to see you once more? Let me walk you to class.”

You both internally cringed at his loving tone, but a stronger reaction was visible with Draco instead. He was quick to step forward and interrupt the moment.

“Actually, I was going to take her.”

While your eyes widened in surprise, Cedric merely smirked and took a step back. “Well then, I wouldn’t want to steal her away,” he said before heading to the Hufflepuff table, pride laced through his steps. It was at that moment when you understood why he initiated the contact.

That sly bastard.

Before any of Slytherins could follow along, before you could pipe up with an objection, and before Draco can begin questioning where in the hell the sudden confidence came from, he grabbed your wrist and took off. It was an amusing attempt at a romantic stroll, really.

Still, you found yourself blushing like a young schoolgirl. Even if he was practically dragging you down the hall, your rose-coloured lens saw the beauty in such intimacy. If your brain wasn't preoccupied with the reason behind it, you might have been more of a nervous wreck.

For starters, why had he even suggested this? How had Cedric's half-assed attempt at invoking jealousy miraculously work?

You ultimately decided to put aside the questioning thoughts for a moment and savour the physical contact. Draco was beginning to slow his pace to a calming saunter, presumably noticing the speed and manner in which he walked you with. With a subtle gesture, he dropped the hand enclosing your wrist to meet your palm instead, staring off nonchalantly as he did so.

It seemed at that moment, a swarm of bees erupted from the deepest corners of your heart.

Draco felt a similar sensation, being a thousand fireworks going off at once inside of him. Such an insignificant gesture, merely shifting his hand an inch lower to meet yours, yet it meant the world to you both. Embarrassingly enough, neither could remain eye contact throughout the remainder of the stroll.

When the Transfiguration class came into view and Draco stopped in his track, you felt your reverie shatter in an abrupt motion. He glanced towards you, tentatively releasing your grip.

Upon the lack of touch, you found yourself regaining consciousness, consequentially resuming your overthinking. Rather than waiting for him to speak, you chose to assume his negative response and leave to preserve your emotions early.

Thus, without offering another glance, you entered the classroom and strode towards your desk.

Leaving a certain platinum-haired boy behind, wondering what he did wrong to cause such repulsion.

"Settle down, class," spoke the authoritative voice of Professor McGonagall.

Throughout the lesson, you had your mind running in various different directions. Part of you wished to continue swooning over Draco and how he held your hand, while the other part dwelled over his hesitancy at the end, likely meaning he regretted what he had done. It made sense to you that he would.

Meanwhile, Draco felt bad about how quickly you left once he released your hand. Maybe she just wanted Cedric to walk her, he thought to himself sadly. Maybe I was just interfering.

Oh, how thoroughly incorrect they both were.

By the end of class, you wanted to approach the matter one last time and ask Draco whether he truly felt regret rather than bawl over mere possibilities.

As the rest of the class filed out, leaving only you and Draco remaining, you slowly walked up to him. He had his face pointed down as he shoved the books into his bag messily. By the time you had reached close enough to begin speaking, he simply slung his bag over his shoulder and left the classroom with hardly any time to spare.

He just walked off, very much aware of your presence.

And somewhere in Draco's twisted little mind, he thought he was doing the right thing. By evading confrontation, he wouldn't have to hear you openly reject him, and you could be happy with Cedric.

He wouldn't be interfering that way. It was for the best.

Though you both tried to empathize with the situation, neither managed to avoid the tears by the end of the day.

~~~ 

The last three days had been excruciating for you, mentally and emotionally. You wanted to brush past the incident as you did the day before, but it somehow hurt more this time. You felt mildly confident after the stroll and hand-holding gesture, but him proceeding to ignore you shortly afterwards shattered all remaining bits of hope.

You wanted to get over it. You wanted to get over him. But you didn’t know how.

It was currently late in the evening, and the Slytherin common room appeared to be deserted. You intended to take a minor detour from the dorms, instead seeking your friend in order to clear your head. Swiftly, you made your way down the stairs, checking for any wandering students.

After you deemed it safe to exit, you approached the portrait hole with furtive steps. Though very quickly, you found your inspection to be flawed.

“Y/N?”

“Damn it,” you muttered under your breath before glancing up slowly. Your face held a sheepish sort of surprise at the presence of another in the common room.

Once the figure came into view, you were startled by the sight of Draco Malfoy, eye-bags prominent amidst his sickly pale face. You hadn’t seen him often since that lesson. He would rarely attend mealtimes, or appear for five minutes whenever he would. The majority of shared classes he had ditched, miraculously coming down with a cold before each one. The entire group was beginning to feel quite worried—you included.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his voice small and timid. It no longer held the same imposing and prideful aura you had always admired.

Clearing your throat, you looked to your feet as you spoke. “To see Cedric.”

That line seemed to hit a nerve within Draco, because the moment the name left your lips, his face twisted into a scowl. Upon tilting your head back up, you were met with his ill-tempered expression.

“Draco? What’s the matter?” you stammered. Ignoring your question, he ran his fingers through his hair and tugged on them with frustration.  Draco then looked to you with desperation pouring through his silver-tinted eyes.

“What does he have that I don’t?”

You merely stared at him in response, blinking with confusion. As he glanced at you expectantly, you found it hard to produce the words in your throat.

“Well? What is it?” he pressed further, taking a step in your direction before continuing. 

“Is it the fact that he’s the esteemed Hogwarts champion? His popularity? His looks? What made you fall for him,” Draco paused for a moment, lowering his voice to a shaky whisper, “and not me?”

You never caught that last part, so instead, you waved your hands to shut down the assumptions. “Me and Cedric, we are just friends—”

“Oh, bullshit.”

“Bullshit? How can you be so sure?”

“Because I saw you confess,” he snapped. The area went quiet for a moment, Draco attempting to calm himself back down, while you were left stunned. “And I saw you ask him to the Yule Ball. Friends don’t do that.”

After rummaging your mind for any instance he might be referring to, you suddenly recalled the practice confession a couple of days ago. It didn’t take long for you to connect the dots and realize Draco appeared in front of you right after the profession was over.

“Draco, you have the wrong idea. What you heard back there— I wasn’t confessing to him.” Draco held a look of disbelief, which was understandable given what a wild claim it was. It did look exactly what Draco was thinking. You knew the only way to convince him was to divulge what really went down.

“Then what was it?” he prompted with a dry chuckle.

“He was helping me practice what to say to you!”

“Say to me? What do you mean—” Draco paused, his eyes widening upon realizing your words. You took the silence as a gesture to continue.

“Draco, I like you. A lot.”

And once again, the room went quiet. His lips parted, words stuck in the back of his throat. The cherry shade washed over his cheeks went unseen under the dim lighting. You simply stood in front of him, rocking on your heel as you await a reply.

After what felt like an hour of pure silence, you decided to follow through with what was planned days before. With Cedric’s encouragement in mind, you took a deep breath. “And I was wondering if you’d like to go to the Yule Ball with me?”

Draco’s eyes became impossibly wider, and without uttering a single word, he nodded ever so slightly. The shock was still evident on his face as he did so.

“Actually? You will?” you asked, jubilation apparent in your tone. Until your expression faltered, and you began doubting yourself and his agreement. “Wait, do you truly want to go? You know, you don’t have to agree out of pity—”

Before you could continue rambling on, the soundless boy halted your words with a swift motion, connecting your lips with his. 

The abrupt kiss had rendered you frozen, eyes squeezed shut in complete surprise. It was only when you felt his cold fingers brush over the exposed skin on your waist that your nerves sprang back to life, and you began kissing back with equal fervour.

You felt the urgency in the way Draco had kissed you. The desperation, as if the moment he’s let go, you would be with Cedric and he would be crying alone in the common room. He wanted to savour this before it would all come crumbling down, because he genuinely believed that it all would at the end.

Until you pulled away, and expecting the worse, he was met with an airy chuckle erupting from the base of your throat. It was quite possibly the most delightful sound he had ever heard.

“You’d really go with me?” you said under your breath, a wide grin still painted on your face as Draco kept his grip around your waist.

Planting a small peck on your forehead, he reassured, “Of course I will. What more would I ever want?”

The rest of the evening was spent within each other’s grasp, feelings of security and comfort prevalent throughout the tranquil night. Worries from the days before had slipped your minds; all that remained was thoughts of one another.

And nothing else can get in the way.

——————————

a/n — And there you have it! Thanks for reading 💞 Please like, comment, and reblog to show support! Feel free to send requests or feedback in my asks.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers Annual #12: MOONRISE

September, 1983

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes battle -- the Moon’s Mightiest Heroes... The Uncanny Inhumans!

With the population of the Moon being just the Inhumans plus Uatu, that’s kind of an overly narrow superlative.

But I do love this cover! The Avengers all forming a big A? Good stuff!

So the timeline of this annual is all kinds of screwed up.

It was released in September and published in November (whatever that means) but its supposed to pre-date Fantastic Four #254.

FF #254 and Avengers #232 overlap. In fact, FF #254 coming out in May and Avengers #232 share the scene where She-Hulk bonks off an invisible wall with what seems to be the same dialogue.

But despite meeting Reed in this Annual, he doesn’t recognize new Captain Marvel in Fantastic Four #256.

But this has to happen before Avengers #233 and FF #254-256. Due to changes that are going to take place in and after that story but also has the FF show up in costume changes that will take place during the listed period.

Its also weird from the Avengers standpoint because Starfox is part of the Avengers in this annual but he just joined in #232 and got sent on his first mission which happens at the same time as She-Hulk is bonking off that invisible wall.

So it makes no sense anywhere but I’ll cover it here to get it out of the way so I can cover Avengers #233 and FF #254-256 in one post, heavily summarizing down on the FF as its not as relevant.

So long story short: this issue fits weirdly in the timeline but lets get it over with.

The issue starts with the Avengers being secretly escorted before the UN Security Council FOR THE TRIAL INFORMAL HEARING OF THE FANTASTIC FOUR!

Why?

Reasons.

Inhuman-related reasons.

In an area usually masked with lunar dust, the SHIELD space platform discovered a whole ass city on the Moon, distinct from the whole ass city that already existed on the Moon.

A city full of all kinds of fantastical life.

Guy who is not Gyrich: “Clearly, the region heretofore known only as the Blue Area, is not only habitable -- it is inhabited by a race of beings possessed of incredible science, technology, and, it appears, superhuman powers! Beings, honored ambassadors, who are not human!”

Ambassador Gregorovich: “Da! Inhabiting Earth’s Moon in a strategic orbital position -- but not human!”

Mr Fantastic: “No, Ambassador Gregorovich, the occupants of the city of Attilan are not human. They are... the INHUMANS!”

Reed... why do you think this is helpful?

He then decides to give their entire ass backstory. Explaining how they were humans once but then aliens came and did some experiments on early human and created a genetic offshoot who became known as the Inhumans.

How the Inhumans kept their numbers low and avoided contact with humans by hiding in various places, including the Himalayas.

The Chinese ambassador complains that the Fantastic Four knew about this entire ass city in China’s backyard but didn’t report it.

Reed defends the decision because the Inhumans just wanted to be left alone. And also that for a long while the city was stuck under a dome and incapable of posing a threat to the outside world.

How when the dome was broken by Black Bolt’s mighty voice, the Inhumans continued to want to be left alone but were eventually attacked by a group called the Enclave while at the same time being struck weak to a mysterious illness called POLLUTION.

And how to escape POLLUTION, the Inhumans just fuckin’ moved their entire ass city to the Moon.

Cap: “The perfect solution!”

Wasp: “Was it, Cap?”

She-Hulk: “If it were, I have a hunch we wouldn’t be here today!”

Heh. Love the peanut gallerying.

The Security Council objects too because the FF enabled a secret super human race to live on the Moon, which is a great strategic location for attacking the Earth. Just look at any number of sci-fi.

Of course, this argument is slightly undermined by the Inhumans and their ridiculously long track record of minding their own business.

It’s pretty notable that when modern human pollution threatened their entire race, they just shrugged and moved to the Moon.

But despite that, the Security Council needs reassurance that the Inhumans pose no threat to Earth.

The Fantastic Four offer to go to the Moon and talk to the Inhumans but the Security Council says no on the basis of ‘you’ve done enough already’ and says that the Avengers will go instead.

I was wondering what any of this had to do with the Avengers!

I’m actually surprised that the entire Security Council agrees to send the Avengers. Earlier, Ambassador Gregorovich was complaining that Security Council had called American Superhero Team Avengers to the hearing of American Superhero Team the Fantastic Four.

You’d expect him to at least insist that some Russian superheroes be sent too.

Which would be cool, honestly.

The Soviet Super-Soldiers had been introduced a couple years before. Coulda done a combination Soviet Super-Soldiers and Avengers mission. Or heck, superheroes from each member of the  Security Council.

I understand why Mantlo didn’t do that since this is pretty much a done in one Avengers vs Inhumans slugfest and what I”m proposing really complicates things. But he also created the Super-Soldiers so it just feels like it works.

Anyway, the Security Council sends the Avengers on a fact finding mission to determine whether the UN will enter into a treaty with the Inhumans on the Moon.

As ya do.

The Avengers travel to the MOON in one of the space quinjets that they have for flying to the Moon.

Also, at some point they picked up Scarlet Witch and Vision. I guess for the former’s ties to the Inhumans through Quicksilver.

The Avengers are met on the MOON by the Inhumans Royal Family, aka the only important ones. I know that there’s an entire city of these dinguses but whenever anyone says “the Inhumans” they usually just mean the royal family.

Anyway, its been a while since the Avengers and Inhumans had a get together, so Cap introduces the Inhumans to the Newest Avengers: She-Hulk, Captain Marvel (2.0), and Starfox.

We get some New To This Sort of Thing from Monica as she marvels, captainly, that she’s actually on the Moon!

Then Crystal shows off her new baby Luna. Named for the Moon. Like how sometimes people name babies Gaia, no doubt. Or Tara.

She-Hulk: “Quicksilver and Crystal’s baby? Oh, gee! She’s so... cute!”

Wasp: “You sound almost envious, She-Hulk!”

Wasp, pls. Just let Jen compliment someone’s baby without ascribing motives.

Quicksilver also has an awkward greeting with Scarlet Wanda and Vision.

Because actually they were on the Moon recently. Where they learned that Magneto Is Secretly Wanda and Pietro’s Father.

And Wanda is not really ready to come to terms with that.

If she waits long enough, she’ll never have to because the retcon pendulum swung the other way eventually and now he’s not their father. And since he was an albatross hanging around their necks, necks that weren’t unburdened by albatrosses already, I can’t say I’m upset about it.

And Also: he never did any parenting of them. He swooped in when they were full ass grown adults and tried to act like their relationship meant anything aside from the whole coercing into terrorism and making Wanda sexy dance for him parts.

Most of the people that are big upset that Magneto was retconned away from being their dad never gave a shit about the man who actually raised them.

Poor Django Maximoff.

Anyway, that’s a long rant to establish that now is when John Byrne’s masterplan to have Magneto and Quicksilver related because they have the same haircut finally came to fruition.

His plan to make Sandman and Norman Osborn related is still pending at the time of this issue.

And the impact of that (Magneto reveal) is a recent bombshell to Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, and Vision.

It doesn’t really affect anything in this issue though.

Annnyway.

Medusa asks whether the Avengers really popped up to the Moon for a social call but Cap says sadly no.

That they’re here because the various Earth governments aren’t happy that the Inhumans are looking down on them from space.

Gorgon and Karnak are a bit upset about this because they had to flee Earth because of all the human pollutions humans were polluting and now humans have sent people to hassle them at their change of address.

Wanda and Wasp smooth things over by saying that they’re just here to assure each other that humans (and mutants and etc) and peacefully coexist with Inhumans across the small vastness of space.

Black Bolt steps forward to react to this offer by doing a shrug which is interpreted as the open hands of peace and friendship.

Wasp: “The open hands of peace and friendship? We’ll tell the nations of Earth they’ve nothing to fear, Black Bolt!”

Cool beans.

Although, I’m pretty sure that the UN expected more than a... uh... ‘we cool?’ exchange.

I believe the term used was “fact-finding mission.” But whatever.

Lets instead talk about fashion, briefly.

Most of the Avengers and Inhumans are wearing the sort of thing that they always wear. But Wasp is wearing an outfit I’ll call ‘the Magneto variant of her ripoff Molecule Man costume.’

The one usually in green and purple except its in red and purple. It looks good on her. But her new (80s?) haircut looks good too. Its maybe a lady’s mullet? But whatever it is, Janet is rocking it.

On the other hand we have She-Hulk who is wearing an aerobics-chic type costume complete with legwarmers. She also was interested in an aerobics instructor job several issues ago. I do not know what’s going on with her lately.

The 80s, maybes.

The Inhumans take the Avengers on a tour of Moon Attilan wherein Lockjaw becomes very enamored with Starfox and would, if this were a modern comic where sensibilities have shifted more crass, probably try humping his leg.

He is very fond of Eros.

Anyway, the Inhumans decide to take the Avengers to the Royal Crypt because I don’t know.

Its kind of morbid for a tour of the city to show the Avengers the crystal coffin that contains the dead, deceased body corpse of Maximus (the Mad). Like, what the heck, the Inhumans.

I guess its important for plot reasons to establish that its here.

But what the heck, the Inhumans??

Medusa exposits that Maximus is the one who initiated the Enclave attack on Attilan that preceded moving to the Moon! But while all of the Inhumans were stricken with pollution sickness, Maximus seemingly had a change of heart and turned against the Enclave, saving Attilan at the cost of his own life.

Maximus is very like a dumber, less charismatic Loki in a lot of most of the ways.

Having doomed and then saved the Inhumans, they honor him by putting him in a crystal box right at the front of the crypt so everyone can look at it.

Weird.

When the Inhumans and Avengers are leaving the crypt, Lockjaw becomes confused and intrigued by a familiar scent from the crystal box and then doggy glares suspiciously at Black Bolt.

Then, as the doors to the crypt are shut, Maximus’ eyes open as he screams internally forever.

So that’s a thing.

A kind of easy to unravel the mystery of thing.

Because, just saying, the Inhumans have the same plots over and over. And I mean narrative plots and scheme plots.

With everything be settled forever by one tour where they looked at a dead body and the Inhumans definitely being no threat to Earth at all ever no way, She-Hulk vows that she’ll use all of her legal experience to present a brief to the UN defending the Inhumans’ right to inhabit the Moon.

In fairness, I don’t think they signed the treaty saying not to weaponize space so...

Now: its time to party down.

Annnnnd its kind of a half-hearted affair.

Half the people are standing around moodily instead of partying. Like Quicksilver and Medusa are glaring at each other. Black Bolt is doing what Black Bolt do and just sitting on his throne.

I know he can’t talk but he can dance, right? Or does that shatter mountains too?

In fact, only She-Hulk and Triton are dancing and Triton is ruining it by making fish puns.

Wait, this side of the party looks a lot cooler!

What the heck, was there an option to have this sweet butterfly lady as a recurring Inhuman all along and they never took it? What the heck!

Anyway, a few of the background Inhumans including sweet butterfly lady are all over Starfox and his come-hither psychic powers.

Meanwhile, Cap takes some time to stare at Black Bolt not enjoying himself.

Scarlet Witch goes over to Medusa and verbally notices she looks bummed. She confesses that Black Bolt has become aloof and distant since they came to the... Moon...

HOW THE HECK WOULD YOU TELL?

Anyway. Wanda tells Vision she’s concerned for those two crazy kids but Vision wants nothing to do with anyone else’s drama.

Scarlet Witch: “Vision, I’m concerned for Medusa and Black Bolt.”

Vision: “As am I... But it is their affair... For them to resolve. We are here simply as ambassadors of peace, my wife, nothing more.”

Scarlet Witch: “But...”

Vision: “Nothing more.”

She-Hulk decides that the thing to do at a party is obviously to go pet the host’s dog. I mean, that’s why people socialize, right? To pet dogs?

But Lockjaw is upset over something and teleports next to Black Bolt so he can growl in his general direction.

The narration says “But what Lockjaw knows... he dares not tell... yet.”

I hope this isn’t during the period where it was canon that Lockjaw wasn’t an Inhuman dog, he was an Inhuman that looked like a dog that everyone treated as a pet despite being as intelligent as any of them.

That was a weird time.

Thankfully retconned to be just a prank that Karnak and Gorgon were pulling on the Thing.

Weird prank but sure.

Later, after the party, Medusa wakes from a fitful sleep to stare dramatically into the night and drama fret over the rift growing between her and Black Bolt.

But Black Bolt has gone to the crypt where he leans in to speak to Maximus’ crystal coffin.

Weirdly, him speaking doesn’t break everything like it usually is known to do.

Perhaps a cluuuue.

Black Bolt (?) asks Maximus (?) if he’s sleeping well and then tells him he must be off to the secret staircase hidden under the crystal coffin.

As ya do.

Elsewhere, Scarlet Witch wakes with a start because her vaguely magically mutant powers have given her a DREAM VISION OF EARTH UNDER ATTACK

Also: I’m always amused when the comic remembers that Vision’s costume is a costume that he can take off. Enjoy some Vision fanservice.

Vision tries to tell Wanda that it was just a dream and that she shouldn’t be afraid of dreams because Logic but then Captain America runs by the room shouting AVENGERS ASSEMBLE because a distress call came from SHIELD about the EARTH being UNDER ATTACK.

Just like Wanda’s dream.

Maybe try not to invalidate Wanda, Vizh.

Anyway, moon rocks are being flung at Earth and you’ll never guess from where!

From the Moon!

The Avengers are obviously not really but kinda implying that the Inhumans might know something about it

But before pointing fingers, Wasp tells Thor to go intercept the moon rocks since he’s the only one fast and buff enough to do it. Also he can hold his breath like a real long time.

Because, yeah, he explicitly has to take a deep breath of Moon air before launching into space.

Out in space, Thor sees where the moon rocks are being launched from (doesn’t look like from Attilan so that’s something) but he’s too busy launching Mjolnir to pulverize some rocks and punching other rocks to follow them to their source.

Also, onslought.

That’s possibly a typo but I like to believe that onslought is just how its spelled in Marvel so that Onslaught is an even stupider name.

But the onslought of rocks is too rapid for Thor to make any headway. For every rock he shatters, there’s two more behind it.

So he’s out of the plot and punching rocks for a while.

Meanwhile, now its the time to point fingers.

The Inhumans are getting pretty defensive at the suggestion that the moon rocks that are being launched from the moon might be from the moon and therefore that the Inhumans might possibly be involved as they are the only ones who live on the Moon except Uatu. And Uatu wouldn’t launch a moon rock unless he could find a way that it wouldn’t be counting as interfering.

Like maybe if it landed on Frank Castle’s family.

Gorgon: “I do not like being accused of betrayal, Karnak!”

Quicksilver: “Nor do I like hearing my adopted home slandered!”

She-Hulk: “Yeah, well, names won’t hurt you -- but those moonstones are gonna break Earth’s bones!”

Unlikely! Definitely be an extinction event but Earth has strong bones.

Also, what a weird thing to say, She-Hulk!

So in quick defense of the Inhumans who are probably obviously not behind this: if they were going to throw rocks at Earth, they’re definitely smart enough to wait until the Avengers are home instead of doing it while they’re within range to punch.

They’re slightly too smart for that.

Crystal asks Scarlet Witch and Vision to mediate since they have ties on both sides but Black Bolt arrives before any mediation can happen.

And Black Bolt clears everything right up!

By declaring war on Earth and ordering the execution of the Avengers!

Yup, no ambiguity there!

But surely, the Inhumans won’t just jump to obey an unjust order, right? Surely, they will object and demand an explanation for this new course of action that’s practically a 180 from his previous position?

Hahah, of course they don’t. These fucking idiots.

Gorgon: “If Black Bolt commands undying enmity between our races, it must be with reason!”

God.

So while the Avengers are still trying to be like ‘lets use our words, people’ the Inhumans just leap right into attacking.

Even Lockjaw jumps forward and locks his jaws on Cap’s shield.

Pietro frets, not knowing where he fits in.

Quicksilver: “Where do I stand? I am not an Inhuman, but a mutant! My child is human, tied to Earth!”

Crystal: “But Attilan is your home, my husband!”

Unspoken: ‘And what the fuck, I’m your wife!’

Quicksilver is convinced though and runs into the fray. Wanda protests so obviously Crystal starts attacking her.

Wow, the Inhumans come off as dicks in this.

So some pointless fight scene summarization.

Starfox ends up rolling around on the ground with Triton where Starfox gives Triton an orgasm. I assume. He pleasure blasts his brain making the guy laugh uncontrollably and collapse into a fountain. And then Triton gets Starfox all wet. By splashing him with the fountain water.

Quicksilver tries to punch Captain Marvel but she’s faster than him.

Because she can go lightspeed.

In fact, she makes him look like a dumb joke just dodging around and then punching him in the back of the head. And also, like, he’s the resident speedster of Marvel and he looks like a slow joke next to Monica Rambeau and Silver Surfer. And they had him flight Flash once and that was like Flash was challenging a baby to a fist fight, just remarkably mismatched.

But since there’s kind of a back and forth dealie going on, he spins her right round like a record round round round by running around her real fast when she makes the mistake of standing still.

Meanwhilelsewhere, Vision goes up against Karnak. And trash talks Karnak about how dumb it is trying to punch an intangible or diamond man. And then he fists Karnak with that fist thing he does sometimes. But Karnak vibrates his hand so he can smack intangible Vision.

Yup.

But nearby, Cap is still trying to wrestle his shield out of Lockjaw’s mouth and the dog flings him into Karnak, knocking the guy down.

The fight turns for the Avengers. She-Hulk punches out Gorgon quipping “steel toes can’t compensate for a glass jaw!”

Captain Marvel blasts out some of her energy, which knocks Quicksilver on his ass.

Annnnnd. Wasp never bothered to fight Medusa. Because designated girl fights are passe. But mostly because eh fuck it.

Wasp: “What of us, Medusa? Are we to fight, too? Will you blindly obey Black Bolt -- though you know some force upon the Moon is attacking Earth? Don’t you owe it to yourself to find out who -- and why... rather than accept the rash dictate of your leader that this battle must go on?!”

Medusa: “Though we have chosen Black Bolt as our king, Wasp, every Inhuman of the Royal Family is of equal rank. That status gives us the right to question Black Bolt’s decrees should we come to doubt their vision! Thus, I choose to exercise my right, Black Bolt, and pose the question... WHY??!”

Now, see, Gorgon? If you had bothered to think with your head brains instead of leaping right to “NEVER QUESTION LEADER” maybe you wouldn’t have had your block dented by She-Hulk. Think about that for next time.

Also, good on Wasp for being one of the best Avengers leaders. She’s super good at not jumping in half-assed.

She-Hulk decides Black Bolt is taking too long and grabs him and demands he speak.

Which would be a hilariously ill-thought out in other circumstances.

Black Bolt: “Unhand me, you -- you savage!”

Everyone is like ‘OH SHIT’ and tries to duck and cover but no mass destruction and loss of life occurs.

Captain America: “Black Bolt spoke -- and we’re all alive!”

Medusa: “IMPOSTER!”

Except its less an imposter and more someone stole Black Bolt’s body, apparently? At least that’s what Medusa figures.

Are... his powers not tied to his body? What??

Anyway, Lockjaw is finally like ‘my moment is here!’ I guess because he leads the AvengersInhumans to the Royal Crypt and Maximus’ cool crystal corpse box.

Captain America: “Of course! That’s the only logical answer!”

Because duh.

Medusa puts together that if Maximus is Black Bolt, Black Bolt must be Maximus so Maximus must not be dead. And then chokes ‘Black Bolt’ until he admits it.

Pretty hardcore, Medusa.

Karnak and Vision combine their respective powers to break the apparently self-healing harder than diamond crystal coffin.

That’s a lot of stuff that this coffin does but I get it. If you’re bearing Maximus and for some reason don’t want to just bury his body in concrete, you do the next best thing and put him in a self-healing diamond crystal coffin to minimize the chances that he’ll inevitably come back from the dead like he did do.

The freed ‘Maximus’ stalks towards ‘Black Bolt’ to real Maximus’ fear and begging that surely Black Bolt wouldn’t harm his own body.

And I’m further confused about how the powers work because Black Bolt in Maximus doesn’t say anything here so maybe the power is with his mind but also as he sternly corners Maximus in Black Bolt, the tuning fork on Black Bolt’s body’s forehead starts crackling with an awesome power.

So is the power still in the body? Or what?

Anyway, ‘Maximus’ lays hands on ‘Black Bolt’ and this causes their minds to swap back. Thankfully, considering how confusing all these qualifiers were beginning to get.

Now with everyone in the right bodies, its time for Maximus to Explain It All.

So back in that story where the Enclave attacked Attilan, Maximus was part of the plan scheming because he wanted to overthrow his brother and become the ruler. As is his repetitive goal.

But the Enclave pressed the advantage over Maximus’ objections when the pollution sickness made the Inhumans to weak to fight back. They were even going to execute Medusa.

So Maximus turned on the Enclave, used an improperly shielded giant laser, and ended up in a coma.

Maximus whines about how the Inhumans should have listened to him and subjugated humanity to stop their evil polluting ways so that the Inhumans wouldn’t have been forced to the Moon.

But ironically, getting forced to the Moon worked out for the dingus because there was a powerful crystal on the Moon which woke Maximus from his coma and gave him the new never before possible power to swap minds with Black Bolt.

And then like a guy that makes good decisions that aren’t bad, Maximus got in contact with the Enclave again.

Gorgon: “You again allied yourself with our human foes?”

Triton: “For good reason is he called Maximus the Mad!”

Or at least Maximus the bad at decisions.

Maximus: “No! Don’t you see? Our strategic location, combined with the Enclave’s tactical expertise, make us invincible!”

In his own defense, Maximus argues that the Enclave is going to bombard Earth with rocks until humanity is mostly dead and then the Inhumans can go back to Earth.

Presumably... I mean... after all that nuclear winter from all the stuff blasted up into the atmosphere?

Maximus is supposedly a genius but ehhhh I don’t see it.

He is squirrely though because he uses his psionic powers that he has to freeze everyone in place and then runs off, all but cackling.

And like a smart person, he flees right to the hidden base where Alpha Primitives have been pressed into the service of the Enclave.

He tells them that they’ve got to flee because the jig is up but the Enclave are less than convinced in their salmon jumpsuits.

An Enclave Guy: “What?! Just run off and abandon our meteoroid launchers?!”

Meteoroid launcher is a fun name for death from above.

Another one points out, hey wait Maximus screwed us over once, maybe he’s lying again.

And summoned by the opportunity to deliver a sweet line, Captain America (and others) are teleported in by Lockjaw.

Captain America: “You can believe him, mister -- this time, Maximus is telling the truth!”

Yeah. Maximus led the Avengers slash Inhumans right to the Enclave.

He’s not smart! Or he has that INT WIS division going on.

The Enclave don’t get a chance to try to fight (and thank god, we’ve had enough fight scene in this book) because Black Bolt just blasts them all in one go, resolving the plot in one panel.

Meanwhile, out in space, Thor is like oh good people have stopped throwing rocks at me. He was holding his breath this whole time after all and even he would have needed to reenter atmosphere soon.

With the Enclave in varying degrees of sprawled on their asses, the Inhumans can turn their attention back to Maximus for the assholery de jour.

He’s not repentant.

Maximus: “You don’t dare attack me, Gorgon! I am your brother, Black Bolt! I have as much right as you to the throne of Attilan! Like you, I wish only the best for our people! But, fool that you are, you refuse to admit our superiority to the humans! It is our destiny to establish dominion over the Earth! We must not be content with exile on this barren world! We must reoccupy the Earth! To do otherwise would be to deny our heritage! You know I’m right, Black Bolt! Admit it! Admit it!”

Black Bolt just turns his back on Maximus and gestures the others to take him away.

Since he never talks, he’s the master of the non-verbal shut down.

With the shooting meteors at Earth and also Maximus plots tied up, the Avengers get back to why they’re up here in the first place.

Wasp: “What reassurance does the Earth have that they won’t be attacked again?”

Gorgon: “What reassurance have we that the Earth will not attack us? Humanity is better equipped for war than we! And it was the human scientists of the Enclave that fomented this battle!”

Medusa: “Of our people, none save Maximus have ever waged war against mankind. The Inhumans will ever seek the ways of peace. That is the solemn pledge of Black Bolt and the family royal. Tell that to your leaders... and ask if they can truly pledge the same!”

Okay, fair enough, fair enough. The Enclave were humans but on the other hand, it was Maximus who invited them to the Moon.

So maybe guarantee that you’ll keep Maximus on a leash?

Or do you not want to make promises you know you can’t keep?

Maybe at least promise you all won’t immediately jump to action if Black Bolt suggests that it’s time to destroy humanity. Please. Apply some critical thinking.

Annnnyway, the Avengers promise to deliver this message to the UN and “pray that our fellow man is wise enough to reply in kind!”

But seriously. Maximus causes like. 70% of the Inhumans’ problems. Get a better handle on him, you dipshits.

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