#who’s getting the new iPhone today?

[thisischeri]

iPhone 3GS, Apple, 2009

instagram: cheri.png

[jentlemahae]

-

[fozmeadows]

the older I get, the more the technological changes I've lived through as a millennial feel bizarre to me. we had computers in my primary school classroom; I first learned to type on a typewriter. I had a cellphone as a teenager, but still needed a physical train timetable. my parents listened to LP records when I was growing up; meanwhile, my childhood cassette tape collection became a CD collection, until I started downloading mp3s on kazaa over our 56k modem internet connection to play in winamp on my desktop computer, and now my laptop doesn't even have a disc tray. I used to save my word documents on floppy discs. I grew up using the rotary phone at my grandparents' house and our wall-connected landline; my mother's first cellphone was so big, we called it The Brick. I once took my desktop computer - monitor, tower and all - on the train to attend a LAN party at a friend's house where we had to connect to the internet with physical cables to play together, and where one friend's massive CRT monitor wouldn't fit on any available table. as kids, we used to make concertina caterpillars in class with the punctured and perforated paper strips that were left over whenever anything was printed on the room's dot matrix printer, which was outdated by the time I was in high school. VHS tapes became DVDs, and you could still rent both at the local video store when I was first married, but those shops all died out within the next six years. my facebook account predates the iphone camera - I used to carry around a separate digital camera and manually upload photos to the computer in order to post them; there are rolls of undeveloped film from my childhood still in envelopes from the chemist's in my childhood photo albums. I have a photo album from my wedding, but no physical albums of my child; by then, we were all posting online, and now that's a decade's worth of pictures I'd have to sort through manually in order to create one. there are video games I tell my son about but can't ever show him because the consoles they used to run on are all obsolete and the games were never remastered for the new ones that don't have the requisite backwards compatibility. I used to have a walkman for car trips as a kid; then I had a discman and a plastic hardshell case of CDs to carry around as a teenager; later, a friend gave my husband and I engraved matching ipods as a wedding present, and we used them both until they stopped working; now they're obsolete. today I texted my mother, who was born in 1950, a tiktok upload of an instructional video for girls from 1956 on how to look after their hair and nails and fold their clothes. my father was born four years after the invention of colour televison; he worked in radio and print journalism, and in the years before his health declined, even though he logically understood that newspapers existed online, he would clip out articles from the physical paper, put them in an envelope and mail them to me overseas if he wanted me to read them. and now I hold the world in a glass-faced rectangle, and I have access to everything and ownership of nothing, and everything I write online can potentially be wiped out at the drop of a hat by the ego of an idiot manchild billionaire. as a child, I wore a watch, but like most of my generation, I stopped when cellphones started telling us the time and they became redundant. now, my son wears a smartwatch so we can call him home from playing in the neighbourhood park, and there's a tanline on his wrist ike the one I haven't had since the age of fifteen. and I wonder: what will 2030 look like?

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Your car spies on you and rats you out to insurance companies

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me TOMORROW (Mar 13) in SAN FRANCISCO with ROBIN SLOAN, then Toronto, NYC, Anaheim, and more!

Another characteristically brilliant Kashmir Hill story for The New York Times reveals another characteristically terrible fact about modern life: your car secretly records fine-grained telemetry about your driving and sells it to data-brokers, who sell it to insurers, who use it as a pretext to gouge you on premiums:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/11/technology/carmakers-driver-tracking-insurance.html

Almost every car manufacturer does this: Hyundai, Nissan, Ford, Chrysler, etc etc:

https://www.repairerdrivennews.com/2020/09/09/ford-state-farm-ford-metromile-honda-verisk-among-insurer-oem-telematics-connections/

This is true whether you own or lease the car, and it's separate from the "black box" your insurer might have offered to you in exchange for a discount on your premiums. In other words, even if you say no to the insurer's carrot – a surveillance-based discount – they've got a stick in reserve: buying your nonconsensually harvested data on the open market.

I've always hated that saying, "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product," the reason being that it posits decent treatment as a customer reward program, like the little ramekin warm nuts first class passengers get before takeoff. Companies don't treat you well when you pay them. Companies treat you well when they fear the consequences of treating you badly.

Take Apple. The company offers Ios users a one-tap opt-out from commercial surveillance, and more than 96% of users opted out. Presumably, the other 4% were either confused or on Facebook's payroll. Apple – and its army of cultists – insist that this proves that our world's woes can be traced to cheapskate "consumers" who expected to get something for nothing by using advertising-supported products.

But here's the kicker: right after Apple blocked all its rivals from spying on its customers, it began secretly spying on those customers! Apple has a rival surveillance ad network, and even if you opt out of commercial surveillance on your Iphone, Apple still secretly spies on you and uses the data to target you for ads:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Even if you're paying for the product, you're still the product – provided the company can get away with treating you as the product. Apple can absolutely get away with treating you as the product, because it lacks the historical constraints that prevented Apple – and other companies – from treating you as the product.

As I described in my McLuhan lecture on enshittification, tech firms can be constrained by four forces:

I. Competition

II. Regulation

III. Self-help

IV. Labor

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle/#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel

When companies have real competitors – when a sector is composed of dozens or hundreds of roughly evenly matched firms – they have to worry that a maltreated customer might move to a rival. 40 years of antitrust neglect means that corporations were able to buy their way to dominance with predatory mergers and pricing, producing today's inbred, Habsburg capitalism. Apple and Google are a mobile duopoly, Google is a search monopoly, etc. It's not just tech! Every sector looks like this:

https://www.openmarketsinstitute.org/learn/monopoly-by-the-numbers

Eliminating competition doesn't just deprive customers of alternatives, it also empowers corporations. Liberated from "wasteful competition," companies in concentrated industries can extract massive profits. Think of how both Apple and Google have "competitively" arrived at the same 30% app tax on app sales and transactions, a rate that's more than 1,000% higher than the transaction fees extracted by the (bloated, price-gouging) credit-card sector:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/07/curatorial-vig/#app-tax

But cartels' power goes beyond the size of their warchest. The real source of a cartel's power is the ease with which a small number of companies can arrive at – and stick to – a common lobbying position. That's where "regulatory capture" comes in: the mobile duopoly has an easier time of capturing its regulators because two companies have an easy time agreeing on how to spend their app-tax billions:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/

Apple – and Google, and Facebook, and your car company – can violate your privacy because they aren't constrained regulation, just as Uber can violate its drivers' labor rights and Amazon can violate your consumer rights. The tech cartels have captured their regulators and convinced them that the law doesn't apply if it's being broken via an app:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/18/cursed-are-the-sausagemakers/#how-the-parties-get-to-yes

In other words, Apple can spy on you because it's allowed to spy on you. America's last consumer privacy law was passed in 1988, and it bans video-store clerks from leaking your VHS rental history. Congress has taken no action on consumer privacy since the Reagan years:

https://www.eff.org/tags/video-privacy-protection-act

But tech has some special enshittification-resistant characteristics. The most important of these is interoperability: the fact that computers are universal digital machines that can run any program. HP can design a printer that rejects third-party ink and charge $10,000/gallon for its own colored water, but someone else can write a program that lets you jailbreak your printer so that it accepts any ink cartridge:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Tech companies that contemplated enshittifying their products always had to watch over their shoulders for a rival that might offer a disenshittification tool and use that as a wedge between the company and its customers. If you make your website's ads 20% more obnoxious in anticipation of a 2% increase in gross margins, you have to consider the possibility that 40% of your users will google "how do I block ads?" Because the revenue from a user who blocks ads doesn't stay at 100% of the current levels – it drops to zero, forever (no user ever googles "how do I stop blocking ads?").

The majority of web users are running an ad-blocker:

https://doc.searls.com/2023/11/11/how-is-the-worlds-biggest-boycott-doing/

Web operators made them an offer ("free website in exchange for unlimited surveillance and unfettered intrusions") and they made a counteroffer ("how about 'nah'?"):

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/07/adblocking-how-about-nah

Here's the thing: reverse-engineering an app – or any other IP-encumbered technology – is a legal minefield. Just decompiling an app exposes you to felony prosecution: a five year sentence and a $500k fine for violating Section 1201 of the DMCA. But it's not just the DMCA – modern products are surrounded with high-tech tripwires that allow companies to invoke IP law to prevent competitors from augmenting, recongifuring or adapting their products. When a business says it has "IP," it means that it has arranged its legal affairs to allow it to invoke the power of the state to control its customers, critics and competitors:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

An "app" is just a web-page skinned in enough IP to make it a crime to add an ad-blocker to it. This is what Jay Freeman calls "felony contempt of business model" and it's everywhere. When companies don't have to worry about users deploying self-help measures to disenshittify their products, they are freed from the constraint that prevents them indulging the impulse to shift value from their customers to themselves.

Apple owes its existence to interoperability – its ability to clone Microsoft Office's file formats for Pages, Numbers and Keynote, which saved the company in the early 2000s – and ever since, it has devoted its existence to making sure no one ever does to Apple what Apple did to Microsoft:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/06/adversarial-interoperability-reviving-elegant-weapon-more-civilized-age-slay

Regulatory capture cuts both ways: it's not just about powerful corporations being free to flout the law, it's also about their ability to enlist the law to punish competitors that might constrain their plans for exploiting their workers, customers, suppliers or other stakeholders.

The final historical constraint on tech companies was their own workers. Tech has very low union-density, but that's in part because individual tech workers enjoyed so much bargaining power due to their scarcity. This is why their bosses pampered them with whimsical campuses filled with gourmet cafeterias, fancy gyms and free massages: it allowed tech companies to convince tech workers to work like government mules by flattering them that they were partners on a mission to bring the world to its digital future:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/10/the-proletarianization-of-tech-workers/

For tech bosses, this gambit worked well, but failed badly. On the one hand, they were able to get otherwise powerful workers to consent to being "extremely hardcore" by invoking Fobazi Ettarh's spirit of "vocational awe":

https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2018/vocational-awe/

On the other hand, when you motivate your workers by appealing to their sense of mission, the downside is that they feel a sense of mission. That means that when you demand that a tech worker enshittifies something they missed their mother's funeral to deliver, they will experience a profound sense of moral injury and refuse, and that worker's bargaining power means that they can make it stick.

Or at least, it did. In this era of mass tech layoffs, when Google can fire 12,000 workers after a $80b stock buyback that would have paid their wages for the next 27 years, tech workers are learning that the answer to "I won't do this and you can't make me" is "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out" (AKA "sharpen your blades boys"):

https://techcrunch.com/2022/09/29/elon-musk-texts-discovery-twitter/

With competition, regulation, self-help and labor cleared away, tech firms – and firms that have wrapped their products around the pluripotently malleable core of digital tech, including automotive makers – are no longer constrained from enshittifying their products.

And that's why your car manufacturer has chosen to spy on you and sell your private information to data-brokers and anyone else who wants it. Not because you didn't pay for the product, so you're the product. It's because they can get away with it.

Cars are enshittified. The dozens of chips that auto makers have shoveled into their car design are only incidentally related to delivering a better product. The primary use for those chips is autoenshittification – access to legal strictures ("IP") that allows them to block modifications and repairs that would interfere with the unfettered abuse of their own customers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

The fact that it's a felony to reverse-engineer and modify a car's software opens the floodgates to all kinds of shitty scams. Remember when Bay Staters were voting on a ballot measure to impose right-to-repair obligations on automakers in Massachusetts? The only reason they needed to have the law intervene to make right-to-repair viable is that Big Car has figured out that if it encrypts its diagnostic messages, it can felonize third-party diagnosis of a car, because decrypting the messages violates the DMCA:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2013/11/drm-cars-will-drive-consumers-crazy

Big Car figured out that VIN locking – DRM for engine components and subassemblies – can felonize the production and the installation of third-party spare parts:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/08/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors/

The fact that you can't legally modify your car means that automakers can go back to their pre-2008 ways, when they transformed themselves into unregulated banks that incidentally manufactured the cars they sold subprime loans for. Subprime auto loans – over $1t worth! – absolutely relies on the fact that borrowers' cars can be remotely controlled by lenders. Miss a payment and your car's stereo turns itself on and blares threatening messages at top volume, which you can't turn off. Break the lease agreement that says you won't drive your car over the county line and it will immobilize itself. Try to change any of this software and you'll commit a felony under Section 1201 of the DMCA:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/02/innovation-unlocks-markets/#digital-arm-breakers

Tesla, naturally, has the most advanced anti-features. Long before BMW tried to rent you your seat-heater and Mercedes tried to sell you a monthly subscription to your accelerator pedal, Teslas were demon-haunted nightmare cars. Miss a Tesla payment and the car will immobilize itself and lock you out until the repo man arrives, then it will blare its horn and back itself out of its parking spot. If you "buy" the right to fully charge your car's battery or use the features it came with, you don't own them – they're repossessed when your car changes hands, meaning you get less money on the used market because your car's next owner has to buy these features all over again:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

And all this DRM allows your car maker to install spyware that you're not allowed to remove. They really tipped their hand on this when the R2R ballot measure was steaming towards an 80% victory, with wall-to-wall scare ads that revealed that your car collects so much information about you that allowing third parties to access it could lead to your murder (no, really!):

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms

That's why your car spies on you. Because it can. Because the company that made it lacks constraint, be it market-based, legal, technological or its own workforce's ethics.

One common critique of my enshittification hypothesis is that this is "kind of sensible and normal" because "there’s something off in the consumer mindset that we’ve come to believe that the internet should provide us with amazing products, which bring us joy and happiness and we spend hours of the day on, and should ask nothing back in return":

https://freakonomics.com/podcast/how-to-have-great-conversations/

What this criticism misses is that this isn't the companies bargaining to shift some value from us to them. Enshittification happens when a company can seize all that value, without having to bargain, exploiting law and technology and market power over buyers and sellers to unilaterally alter the way the products and services we rely on work.

A company that doesn't have to fear competitors, regulators, jailbreaking or workers' refusal to enshittify its products doesn't have to bargain, it can take. It's the first lesson they teach you in the Darth Vader MBA: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/26/hit-with-a-brick/#graceful-failure

Your car spying on you isn't down to your belief that your carmaker "should provide you with amazing products, which brings your joy and happiness you spend hours of the day on, and should ask nothing back in return." It's not because you didn't pay for the product, so now you're the product. It's because they can get away with it.

The consequences of this spying go much further than mere insurance premium hikes, too. Car telemetry sits at the top of the funnel that the unbelievably sleazy data broker industry uses to collect and sell our data. These are the same companies that sell the fact that you visited an abortion clinic to marketers, bounty hunters, advertisers, or vengeful family members pretending to be one of those:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/07/safegraph-spies-and-lies/#theres-no-i-in-uterus

Decades of pro-monopoly policy led to widespread regulatory capture. Corporate cartels use the monopoly profits they extract from us to pay for regulatory inaction, allowing them to extract more profits.

But when it comes to privacy, that period of unchecked corporate power might be coming to an end. The lack of privacy regulation is at the root of so many problems that a pro-privacy movement has an unstoppable constituency working in its favor.

At EFF, we call this "privacy first." Whether you're worried about grifters targeting vulnerable people with conspiracy theories, or teens being targeted with media that harms their mental health, or Americans being spied on by foreign governments, or cops using commercial surveillance data to round up protesters, or your car selling your data to insurance companies, passing that long-overdue privacy legislation would turn off the taps for the data powering all these harms:

https://www.eff.org/wp/privacy-first-better-way-address-online-harms

Traditional economics fails because it thinks about markets without thinking about power. Monopolies lead to more than market power: they produce regulatory capture, power over workers, and state capture, which felonizes competition through IP law. The story that our problems stem from the fact that we just don't spend enough money, or buy the wrong products, only makes sense if you willfully ignore the power that corporations exert over our lives. It's nice to think that you can shop your way out of a monopoly, because that's a lot easier than voting your way out of a monopoly, but no matter how many times you vote with your wallet, the cartels that control the market will always win:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/05/the-map-is-not-the-territory/#apor-locksmith

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/12/market-failure/#car-wars

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[incorrectbatfam]

If the batfam had tiktok what would they post? What would go the most viral?

Dick does duets where he remixes people who have bad takes. His most viewed one is turning Lex Luthor's corporate monologue into a dubstep track with beat drops every time Superman is mentioned. Equally popular is his mashup of Bruce's yawning with a Sam Smith song.

Jason makes cooking videos. The recipes are normal, but the voiceovers like, "today I'm making a realistic animal-themed vegan bento box 'cause I wanna torment my brother." His most popular video is of him shit-talking Batman while making a pot roast, but it gets deleted because he didn't say "unalive."

Tim does behind-the-scenes videos of his photoshoots where he makes it seem like a complex process with dimmed lights and glitter falling from a ceiling fan, then it cuts to a blurry iPhone pic of a pissed-off Jason with sparkly hair chasing him down a dark hallway.

Damian's is a mix of animal videos, art tutorials, Cheese Viking speedruns, and classical covers of anime intros. But his most popular one is recording his family's reaction to him saying the fuck-word for the first time. He also has a series where he asks people how babies are made to see whose response TikTok takes down first.

Duke posts subtle and wholesome pranks, like leaving Tooth Fairy money under the older batkids' pillows or gradually filling Kate's purse with Jolly Ranchers. His most popular series is when he slowly replaced Damian's furniture with increasingly smaller replicas until the 8th day when Damian finally notices.

Steph does a little bit of everything and often takes suggestions (re: dumb dares) from the comments. Her account started with her just sharing her favorite memes, but her most popular video is when she slept in a bathtub full of Mardi Gras necklaces after an audience poll.

Cass normally posts a mix of dance covers and sign language lessons, but occasionally there will be moments from her daily life that she captures at the right time. Her most viral video is at the grocery store when someone accidentally knocks a coconut onto the ground and she follows it as it rolls to the other end of the store.

Harper and Cullen do a lot of backyard science experiments where they take hypotheses from comments and test them out, like if they can cook steak with firecrackers or make a trampoline out of rubber bands. Their biggest project was turning an abandoned pool into a frog sanctuary.

Barbara keeps most of her daily videos private and her public ones are mainly book hauls, song recs, and computer tips. Her most popular video, even making news articles, is a video where she breaks down how planned obsolesce works and calling out big tech companies.

Bruce has a secret account that no one knows about. He doesn't post anything. He just lurks because he wants to be the first like and comment whenever his kids post.

[physalian]

You don’t have to pay for that fancy worldbuilding program

As mentioned in this post about writing with executive dysfunction, if one of your reasons to keep procrastinating on starting your book is not being able to afford something like World Anvil or Campfire, I’m here to tell you those programs are a luxury, not a necessity: Enter Google Suite (not sponsored but gosh I wish).

MS Office offers more processing power and more fine-tuning, but Office is expensive and only autosaves to OneDrive, and I have a perfectly healthy grudge against OneDrive for failing to sync and losing 19k words of a WIP that I never got back.

Google’s sync has never failed me, and the Google apps (at least for iPhone) aren’t nearly as buggy and clunky as Microsoft’s. So today I’m outlining the system I used for my upcoming fantasy novel with all the helpful pictures and diagrams. Maybe this won’t work for you, maybe you have something else, and that’s okay! I refuse to pay for what I can get legally for free and sometimes Google’s simplicity is to its benefit.

The biggest downside is that you have to manually input and update your data, but as someone who loves organizing and made all these willingly and for fun, I don’t mind.

So. Let’s start with Google Sheets.

The Character Cheat Sheet:

I organized it this way for several reasons:

I can easily see which characters belong to which factions and how many I have named and have to keep up with for each faction

All names are in alphabetical order so when I have to come up with a new name, I can look at my list and pick a letter or a string of sounds I haven’t used as often (and then ignore it and start 8 names with A).

The strikethrough feature lets me keep track of which characters I kill off (yes, I changed it, so this remains spoiler-free)

It’s an easy place to go instead of scrolling up and down an entire manuscript for names I’ve forgotten, with every named character, however minor their role, all in one spot

Also on this page are spare names I’ll see randomly in other media (commercials, movie end credits, etc) and can add easily from my phone before I forget

Also on this page are my summary, my elevator pitch, and important character beats I could otherwise easily mess up, it helps stay consistent

*I also have on here not pictured an age timeline for all my vampires so I keep track of who’s older than who and how well I’ve staggered their ages relative to important events, but it’s made in Photoshop and too much of a pain to censor and add here

On other tabs, I keep track of location names, deities, made-up vocabulary and definitions, and my chapter word count.

The Word Count Guide:

*3/30 Edit to update this chart to its full glory. Column 3 is a cumulative count. Most of what I write breaks 100k and it's fun watching the word count rise until it boils over.

This is the most frustrating to update manually, especially if you don’t have separate docs for each chapter, but it really helps me stay consistent with chapter lengths and the formula for calculating the average and rising totals is super basic.

Not that all your chapters have to be uniform, but if you care about that, this little chart is a fantastic visualizer.

If you have multiple narrators, and this book does, you can also keep track of how many POVs each narrator has, and how spread out they are. I didn’t do that for this book since it’s not an ensemble team and matters less, but I did for my sci-fi WIP, pictured below.

As I was writing that one, I had “scripted” the chapters before going back and writing out all the glorious narrative, and updated the symbols from “scripted” to “finished” accordingly.

I also have a pie chart that I had to make manually on a convoluted iPhone app to color coordinate specifically the way I wanted to easily tell who narrates the most out of the cast, and who needs more representation.

—

Google Docs

Can’t show you much here unfortunately but I’d like to take an aside to talk about my “scene bits” docs.

It’s what it says on the tin, an entire doc all labeled with different heading styles with blurbs for each scene I want to include at some point in the book so I can hop around easily. Whether they make it into the manuscript or not, all practice is good practice and I like to keep old ideas because they might be useful in unsuspecting ways later.

Separate from that, I keep most of my deleted scenes and scene chunks for, again, possible use later in a “deleted scenes” doc, all labeled accordingly.

When I designed my alien language for the sci-fi series, I created a Word doc dictionary and my own "translation" matrix, for easy look-up or word generation whenever I needed it (do y'all want a breakdown for creating foreign languages? It's so fun).

Normally, as with my sci-fi series, I have an entire doc filled with character sheets and important details, I just… didn’t do that for this book. But the point is—you can still make those for free on any word processing software, you don’t need fancy gadgets.

—

I hope this helps anyone struggling! It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Everything I made here, minus the aforementioned timeline and pie chart, was done with basic excel skills and the paint bucket tool. I imagine this can be applicable to games, comics, what have you, it knows no bounds!

Now you have one less excuse to sit down and start writing.

[ma1dita]

I need a pt 2 to the Luke and long distance!gf PLEASEEEEE

mdni

🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥

pt 1 here

a/n: man... getting out of my writing rut so here's this filth. sexting. kinda public. luke cums in his pants. what a loser

wc: 780

*bzzz*

Luke’s phone buzzes for the third time in a row in his Financial Marketing lecture today. The notification shakes his phone against the wood of the table to the point that it’s bugging the hell out of Chris who’s locked into whatever the professor’s saying—but as soon as Luke sees your name flash across the slightly cracked screen of his iPhone, he drops his pen in favor of you. His brother rolls his eyes, slumping further into his seat head lolling against his arm. There’s a smile that immediately settles upon Luke’s cheeks at the thought of you.

“baby 🤭 you busy?”

“why are you not answering you don’t even like this class anyway”

“fine ig i’ll ask someone else for their opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️” 

He chuckles lowly as he types out a reply, “opinion on what babe 👀” and Chris nudges his arm with a nod to ask if everything’s good. The professor drones on in the background about the stock market and for once, Luke is glad that Hermes gave him the ability to skate through his Econ degree (the only think he’ll be grateful to his absent father for), because it gives him more time to focus on more important things, like the slew of images of you trying on bikinis that infiltrate his phone.

[5 Image attachments]

“oops sorry! guess i sent them to the wrong person”

He gulps almost comically, shifting in his seat as he saves them for later. Shifty eyes and quick fingers can only do so much in a crowded lecture hall. But you see that his read receipts are on, and frankly the lack of a response is irritating when you’re pulling your best poses in the comfort of your living room. Boys never get how much effort it takes to be sexy.

“damn. guess i’ll go find a new boyfriend who can appreciate all of this”

Luke sighs, half stifled by is need to see you bare and his spit going down the wrong pipe that he clears his throat loudly, trying to ignore his jeans tightening by the second. Licking his lips, he clicks on the presentation slides, trying to catch up to where the professor is after your very welcome distractions. 

[Image attachment]

He presses the ‘next’ button just as another iMessage notification pops up on his screen, trigger finger clicking open an image of your tits pressed between your fingers, nipples taut against the fabric and lips between your teeth—all shiny soft skin almost bursting through the flimsy top that’s loosening and almost vivid through the still image. If there’s more, he thinks he’s seeing stars.

Luke slams his laptop shut and it echoes.

He takes a deep breath trying to remember what year it is.

“You good bro?”

Chris mumbles with a furrowed brow, watching sweat glisten against Luke’s flushed cheeks.

“Not feeling well. Think I’m gonna head out. Send me notes later?”

It’s almost an inside joke between the two of them, but Luke laughs a little too hard trying to play it off. He shoves his laptop into his backpack, before slowly weaving through the row and hoping no one noticed his girlfriend’s tits on the blown up screen of his Macbook. But then again, something’s obviously off as he walks stiffly towards the exit, feet swift with no predetermined destination. Luke contemplates the probability of someone interrupting him in the hall bathroom if he goes there to rub one out. His dick is hard and weepy, frustration brimming at the seams of his resolve when he walks out of the lecture hall. Readjusting himself into his waistband and groaning at the pressure, Luke wonders if he can walk home fast enough.

[Video attachment]

He stops in his tracks as he opens your message, the sound of your moans and slick movements of your fingers buried under the damp bottoms of your bikini almost too loud in his Airpods. His dark brown eyes trace the movements of your swiveling hips on his screen and he leans against the wall to groan lowly, a pathetic noise clawing up his throat, until his mouth dries at the sight of you parting the fabric aside just in time for him to watch you cum hard, soaking the rest of your hand and the leather of the couch beneath your ass. Luke doesn’t realize his body’s unprompted decision to join your release until he feels a sticky, uncomfortable warmth pool against the bottom of his shirt, soiled beyond belief.

His head of curls bangs against the wall behind him as he moans.

*bzzz*

A lopsided grin forms on his face when his phone buzzes again in his hand.

[littlerequiem]

the hitchhiker's guide to isekai ˚⁎⁺ levi x gn!reader

CONTENT — Levi getting isekai'd into our world, (questionable) humor, slice of life, swearing, Levi is a boomer when it comes to technology, pop culture refs, suggestive, mentions of bondage (wc: 1.1k words). Written for Day 3 - Isekai, Levi Month 2024 - @levievent

For as long as you could remember, Levi Ackerman had always been your favorite fictional character. There was something about his strength, his empathy, and his kindness that drew you to him.

Then, one day, the universe delivered him on a silver platter.

It was midsummer night when you found him. There he was, lying in your new antique wardrobe, groggy and half asleep, dark hair tousled to the side. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing; was this really your favorite anime character, in the flesh?

Before you could think on the logistics of it all, however, Levi was already reaching for the small knife tucked in his boot.

And threatening you with it.

It all happened in a flash.

With your heart drumming in your chest, you remember fumbling for words, looking straight into those sharp, silver eyes you’d always imagined must shine like starlight (and gods, they truly did).

Looking back, your first words lacked a certain decorum. “Wh—who—is this some kind of skit, huh? Are you some kind of pervert?!?”

Levi looked at you then like you were a complete idiot.

As it turned out, Levi was not, in fact, a pervert, nor did he mean to end up here in the first place.

Instead, he told you the hard facts: that he was Levi Ackerman, Captain of the Survey Corps. That he owned the same closet in his office, only in his own world. That the last thing he remembers was falling asleep in this piece of furniture, an attempt to hide from Hange who’d been up in arms trying to convince him to help with an experiment.

Your reality, it seemed, was connected to the Attack on Titan universe through a mysterious wardrobe.

(Like fucking Narnia.)

It was then that it was decided that he would stay with you until he found a way home.

A month has passed since this first moment, and to say that your daily life has been altered would be an understatement. You’re living with one of your personal heroes, after all—not that you let him know you view him as such.

Levi is trying to get back to his world, and in the meantime, Levi gets to discover your world: the joys of washing machines, the taste of matcha tea, the ease of hoovers, rock music.

And today, he’s uncovering the mystery that is the internet.

“I don’t understand,” Levi grumbles, his voice rough like sandpaper. Lines of tension form across his pale forehead, his gaze fixed on your laptop propped on the kitchen table. “People spend their time looking at cat... paintings?”

He’s perusing your blog.

“These are actually photographs that you’re looking at, but I suppose people also love drawings of cats. Cats are a very popular topic, see,” you explain, coming closer as you stop him from clicking on a sketchy looking pop up: ‘Free iPhone 15! Claim Yours Now’.

Levi's charged gaze follows as he watches you go about it; you have the thought he smells nice, like fresh linen and tea.

You clear your throat, withdrawing from his personal space. “Um... anyway, that’s not all you can do with the internet. People use it for all sorts of things: you can look up the news, the weather, forums…”

He crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair. “What’s that? Sounds like a disease.”

Ah, where to start...

“Forums are online spaces where people can discuss things. You can host debates, provide instructions, and more. Personally, I use them to gush about things I love. Like books!”

Levi clicks his tongue. “So, a bookclub?”

“Mm, yes, and no. Like sure, on the forum I'm a mod for, I love to discuss the plot, the characters, and the writing, but I also just enjoy goofing around with my friends and sharing memes.”

“Me...mes.” Levi looks puzzled by this word.

You stifle a snort. “Memes are like... jokes. Only sometimes, they're also cultural staples.” At his skeptical expression, you shrug. “I guess this world is different from yours, in that respect. We have... less immediate dangers, more free time.”

“That's not a bad thing,” he mutters, tone oddly soft. He averts his tepid gaze, looking back to your blog as he exhales through his nose. “But your world still makes no sense to me. Especially all of this.”

He nods towards the web page.

“It’s okay, the internet takes a while to get used to," you say. "Even for me... I constantly feel like an old crone whenever I hear all the lingo kids are coming up with these days.”

“Hmph.”

Levi looks unimpressed. So, forums—and the internet, it seems—aren’t his thing. Probably for the better—the last thing you need right now is for him to realize there’s a whole fanbase devoted to discussing his character (not to mention the other, less PG-friendly aspects of the conversation).

“Hey, how about we take a break?" You tilt your head, flashing him an easy smile. "You’ve been staring at the screen all morning. It can be a strain on your eyesight.”

Levi’s half-lidded stare crinkles, his lips pursing into a thoughtful pout, the same look he gets whenever you throw him scraps of information about your world and its strange customs.

“I was planning to make some tea,” you add, “want a cup?”

“… if you're making one anyway,” he mumbles, scowling in a way that reminds you of a grumpy cat. Cute.

You head towards your small kitchen, grabbing Levi’s favorite tea bag and laying out clean cups. As the kettle groans alive and you eventually hear that familiar sizzling that tells you the water’s come to a boil, another noise coming from behind garners your attention.

“Oi, something happened to your cat photo-thing,” you overhear Levi drawl.

You turn with a raised brow.

That’s when you notice that Levi’s somehow ended up on your desktop page, the familiar sight of your screensaver (more cats!) appearing into view.

But that’s also when you notice the mouse is hovering dangerous close to one of your folders... your babygirl folder.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no...

“DON’T CLICK THAT!” you plead, attempting to rush to his side to avoid the embarrassment of a lifetime.

Too late. Levi has entered the folder and somehow managed to click on one of the more scandalous pictures; your peripheral catches his expression, and it's the most stupor you've seen on his face yet... and is that pink dusting his cheeks?

Because Levi is looking straight at one of the fanarts you’d saved of him months ago.

Where his pixelated counterpart is tied up. Stark naked.

Well, shit.

— Masterlist / Join my taglist

[alotofpockets]

Hard launch | Florence Pugh x Singer!Reader

Where you and Florence hard launch your relationship and your new album

A/n: faceclaim for this is Florence as Taylor Swift and Reader as Gracie Abrams

Marvel masterlist | Words: 2.6k

-----

Over the past few months you have been all over the world. Your world tour started out in America and after a little break, you had continued to the European leg of the tour. While you loved touring, performing, and spending time with your fans, you craved the feeling of home. 

There were multiple places in the world that you called home. But only one of them was a constant, and you were about to walk into her arms, as you turned the keys to open her front door.

As soon as you opened the door, your girlfriend was in your arms. “Hi baby, I’ve missed you so much.” You whisper into her shoulder as you hold her close. “Why didn’t you say you were coming home today? I would’ve picked you up.” Your girlfriend had been at a couple of your shows, but since she was on set for most of your tour, your schedules didn’t often line up. 

You still had a few shows left in London, but you had the weekend off before you were performing 6 shows at Wembley. “I wanted to surprise you.” You leave your bags at the door as she pulls you into the home. Both your jobs required you to be in different parts of the world often, that’s why you decided that instead of moving into one of your houses, you just moved in together and kept both your places. Meaning that you shared her home in London, and yours in Los Angeles. 

After catching up for a bit, during which you lay cuddled up together on the couch, you told her you had really missed her food, with all the simple and easy meals you had during the tour. “Well, I was planning on filming a Cooking with Flo, so you are in luck, my love.” 

She was getting the ingredients laid out, while you set up her camera for her. You had been there from the start of her Cooking with Flo series, where she would film little videos on her phone and post them to her instagram story. You had been in London for work when covid hit, and you weren’t able to travel back to the US. There weren’t a lot of people that you knew who lived in London, except Florence who you had met a couple weeks prior, you shot her a message and moved in with her the same week.

The difference a couple of years could make. The two of you went from strangers, to roommates, to best friends, and finally to lovers. Florence her cooking show had also expanded. No more wobbly iPhone uploads to her Instagram story, but proper camera setup on a tripod and streaming the show live on YouTube.

“You know how I’ve been having special guests on the show?” You nodded. Even when you were away you kept up with her cooking videos. “Would you want to join me tonight?” The two of you kept your relationship away from the public, though many people had their suspicions, neither one of you had ever spoken out about it. 

That’s why Flo fully expected you to say no to her questions, but you surprised her by saying yes. “Really?” She asked excitedly. “Yes really. We can give them a little teaser for what’s to come, right?”

You had been working on a new album, where you wanted to put focus on what fame had been like for you. The way that everything you did was criticised by the media. That had been one of the reasons that you and Florence kept your relationship away from the public. 

Over the years you have hidden not only your relationship, but also parts of yourself. When you were younger it felt like something you just had to live with now, but you didn’t want to anymore. You wanted to be yourself and not care what people thought, and your next album would be the first step.

“Alright, ready to go whenever you are.” Florence says once she has checked everything over one last time. “Yeah, let me just finish this post and then I’ll be ready.” Your girlfriend walked over and leaned on your shoulders and watched you write the little caption you were giving your post from the last show.

-----

y/n_y/l/n just posted

y/n_y/l/n: Thank you to everyone that came out last night, it was an honour to play in front of a crowd like you! I can't believe we are nearing the end of the European leg, this tour has been amazing so far, and that is all thanks you x

-----

You put your phone away and set up the laptop for the livestream. A little countdown started counting down a minute while Florence got ready behind the kitchen island. You turned on the camera and waited to the side waiting for Florence to introduce you.

The countdown on the screen ticked down and Florence got ready to start. “It’s Cooking with Flo, bitches! Today we’re joined by a very special guest. You’ve been asking for this for a while now, and I have finally convinced her to join me. Please welcome Y/n to the show!”

You stepped up beside her. “Hi everyone! I’m so excited to be here.” You spoke nervously. Florence chuckled lightly, you were used to performing in front of thousands of people, but standing in front of this camera got you nervous. “I am so glad you’ve finally agreed to come on the show. Do you want to tell them what we’re cooking?”

“Yeah, for sure. We are making truffle pasta with one of Florence's own recipes today, and I for one cannot wait to try it.” Florence laughed, “But before we get to that part, we will show you exactly how to make it.”

Florence explained every step to the camera and you followed her lead on what to do. The conversation flowed easily between the two of you, the familiar banter making it feel like it was just another evening at home. A sense of familiarity you’ve been missing so dearly while you have been on tour.

She handed you a whisk and told you to mix up the ingredients you had just put in the bowl to make the sauce. Out of the two of you, Florence was definitely the one cooking most of the time, she was amazing and you were.. Well you were nearly decent. 

“Careful there,” Florence teased, “we don’t want the sauce all over the kitchen.” You laughed at your hand covered with the sauce, because it had definitely gone over the edge of the bowl. “No? I thought you were wanting to redecorate the kitchen. This seems like the perfect colour for the walls.” You joke back.

While your cooking and playful banter went on, the chat was blowing up with comments. Many of them were excited about seeing the two of you together and noting the chemistry that was evident on the screen.

You stayed on the easy tasks while Florence did all the hard work, but neither one of you minded, you were just enjoying the time you were able to spend together. 

With the pasta and the sauce presented on two plates, you thought the dish was done. “It smells so good, I cannot wait to taste it!” You already reached for a fork, but Florence stopped you. “Hold on, it’s not done yet.” She grabbed a truffle and the grater and got to work.

With the most serious expression, Florence delicately shaved the truffle over the pasta, her concentration made you giggle. “What’s so funny?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. “It’s just that you look like you’re performing surgery on that truffle.” You have to try hard to hold back your laughter.

“This is art, okay?” You don’t just throw truffles around.” You burst out laughing, unable to contain it any longer. Her serious tone combined with the silly way of putting on the truffle fully sends you over the edge.

“Hey, this is important stuff!” Florence tried hard to stay in her serious character, but failed as she watched the tears spring in your eyes from your laughter. “Truffles are a very delicate matter!” She got out through her own giggles.

You doubled over, clutching your stomach, and before you knew it, you had collapsed onto the kitchen floor, laughing uncontrollably. “Oh no, we’ve lost her!” Florence exclaimed, setting down the truffles on the counter to check on you. “I think I've broken Y/n.”

Florence always had the ability to make you laugh, but right now she got you so far that you could barely breathe, and the tears were streaming down your face. Florence snapped a quick picture before turning to the camera again. “Don’t worry, I will share that with you later. Now, let’s try this pasta.” 

You stood up as you were wiping your tears. “Wait for me! I wanna try.” Both of you take a bite at the same time. “Oh my god, this is so good!” Florence smiled proudly. “You heard it here first, people, you can even impress mega pop stars with this meal, so try it out at home.” You rolled your eyes playfully, “Food easily impresses me, but you should definitely try this recipe, because this was delicious.”

“And that’s all we have for tonight. We are going to enjoy this meal and soon Y/n will head to Wembley for her final shows of her Europe tour. Thank you for watching, and I’ll see you next time!” You both wave to the camera before it shuts off.

“I’ve missed you so much.” You say as you walk into her arms. “No one can make me laugh as much as you do.” She held you tight while telling you she missed you as well. 

"I can't believe we did that. The fans are going to lose their minds." Florence says as she walks both your plates over to the dining table. You smiled, feeling a warmth in your chest as you looked at her. "I think we just gave them something to remember." Florence smiled and leaned in to kiss your cheek. "And this is just the beginning, my love."

-----

florencepugh just posted

florencepugh: An all new Cooking with Flo out with special guest Y/n Y/l/n! Watch how she takes a break from her tour to spend some time on my floor 😂

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y/n_y/l/n: In my defense, the floor was very comfortable

-----

Your next few shows in London were incredible. A sold out Wembley night after night, was something you didn’t even dare to dream of a few years back. But now you were playing your sixth and final sold out Wembley show of this tour.

Nervous was an understatement. You had announced things on tour before, but this, this was something on an entirely different level. While your piano was being set up on the stage you talked with your fans. 

“Most of you have been with me for a very long time, and have stuck with me through the many changes I have gone through as a person and with my music, and that is something I am eternally grateful for. The support I get from each and everyone of you, is what gives me the strength to evolve.” 

While you were still nervous, you also felt a sense of serenity. The fans in the stadium were excited even when they had no clue what was coming.

“Growing up in the spotlight for me came with a lot of negativity. Something I haven’t spoken about often. It has made me hide parts of my life, parts that no one should have to hide.” 

You didn’t think you’d get this emotional, but you had to wipe a tear that had started rolling down your cheek.

“I decided that I no longer want to hide these parts of me to make other people happy. I am the one that should be able to share my happiness, and that is something I’ve been working on this past year. I’ve taken a deep dive into what fame has been like for me, the struggles, and the things that I’ve had to hide away.”

You paused for a moment, taking in the crowd that was listening to your every word. The people that have allowed you to continue to make music. The people that loved you unconditionally, no matter what the media had put out about you. The people that have defended your honour again and again.

“All of that, I’ve put it into something that I am very proud of.” The noise of the crowd grew with anticipation. “And I cannot wait to share it with you… so I won’t! New music coming soon on my next album "The Secret of Us.” 

The screen filled with the announcement and the crowd went insane. You stood there basking in the love the fans were throwing your way. The clapping didn’t stop for minutes. You sat down on the stage, looking up at the audience with tears in your eyes.

You got up again, because you weren’t done yet. “And if you’ll let me, I would love to perform one of the songs from the album for you tonight.” You smiled as they cheered even louder. 

“This song is called Close To You, and it’s one of the most meaningful songs I have ever written. The reason that it is so meaningful is because it’s about someone who means the world to me. This person has been so supportive of me throughout my career, they are a big part of my happiness. The things I want to let you be a part of from now on.”

There really was no turning back anymore, that made you extra nervous, but also excited, you didn’t want to turn back, you only wanted to move forward.

“Performing this song with me tonight, as well as on the album, is my girlfriend Florence Pugh. Please welcome her to the stage!”

You watched as she walked onto the stage in her yellow dress, a big smile on her face as she waved to the crowd who was loudly cheering.

You started playing the first chords to the song as Florence made her way to the microphone stand that was just placed next to your piano for her.

I don't got a single problem with provocative See the bodies, how they burn, it's just the way it is Smoky, dark, crowded room, I need nothing Under pink light in June 

You start singing, while making eye contact with your girlfriend, who started strumming the guitar. 

I was so cool, but then, all of a sudden You saw me look at you Florence joined you in the next verse, like you had practised so many times.

I burn for you And you don't even know my name If you asked me to I'd give up everything To be close to you

The two of you continued singing until the final verse. It was just you singing the final part.

You should be mine for life, I'll be signing Every dotted line Chemical override, ultraviolet You could be mine tonight

The crowd went absolutely crazy and you could not believe that you had just done that and gotten instant support from thousands of fans. Florence looked at you with nothing but pride as she opened her arms for you.

You hug her, “I am so proud of you.” She tells you loud enough for you to hear over the cheering. In response you grab her face and place a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you.” With tears falling down your cheeks you turn to the audience and wave and thank them too.

Florence left the stage again and you continued performing the rest of your set like nothing happened, though internally you felt amazing.

-----

florencepugh just posted

florencepugh: Incredibly proud of you, always. Thank you for letting me be a part of this amazing album, I cannot wait for the world to hear your briliance.

Load more comments

-----

After a couple more songs you closed off the show by thanking the fans over and over again. “You’ve made this tour incredible, I will never forget the memories we’ve made here. Thank you!”

The moment you get backstage, Florence flies into your arms. “You did it, my love!” 

-----

y/n_y/l/n just posted

y/n_y/l/n: What a way to end this leg of the tour. I am incredibly thankful for all of your support, and cannot wait to share my new album with you soon! And Florence, thank you for being my biggest supporter though it all 🫶🏻

Load more comments

florencepugh: So proud of you 🫶🏻

fan1: New music and a new favourite ship? that was not on my bingo card

fan2: The hardest of hard launches

fan3: AAAHHHH

-----

y/n_y/l/n_updates just posted

y/n_y/l/n_updates: Y/n and Florence Pugh after performing their love song from Y/n's upcoming album.

Load more comments

fan1: They are so cute!

fan2: I want what they have

fan3: So happy she finally doesn't care anymore. All the best to them

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗

[sweetteainthesummerx]

THE LOVE LASTS SO LONG (6)

In which some fans speculate on a post...

series masterlist

Notes: hey ya'll! This is just getting started for real. I just realized that this is going to be so long :p so leave a comment (love those they raise me from the dead) and if you want any specific trope let me know!

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

aubreyyang posted

aubreyyang I cannot believe that Pelt has won the Best Screenplay for London Film week. Thank you to everyone who made this film possible (on a budget) and especially for all of the women out there who have experienced the trials and tribulations of simply being. I hope that someday a young girl will stumble across this and feel comfortable in their skin, or their pelt. Thank you again, London Film Week! You were unforgettable 🎥

tagged: londonfilmweek, dior.n.goodjohn

liked by walker.scobell, londonfilmweek and 900,782 others

dior.n.goodjohn YEAH BABYY NEXT TIME WE WIN BEST FILM 😤

user1 im crying they deserve everything the film slapped so hard

-- user2 i can't believe they didn't win best film

-- user3 summed up girlhood for me bro

aubreyyboo WOOO THATS OUR GIRL (shes so real for the budget comment 😅)

oliviarodgrigo QUEEN NEXT FILM LET ME WRITE THE SOUNDTRACK 😩🙏🏼

-- aubreyyang PLEASE PLEASE

-- user3 omg collab??

olliebearman congrats the film was phenomenal

-- aubreyyang thanks ollie!! good luck tomorrow 💪

-- dior.n.goodjohn ayo she giggling and kicking her feet

this comment was removed

-- smoothoperatorrr55 HEY I SAW THAT

-- dior.n.goodjohn paddock passes when?

-- user4 HAHAH not her leaving a incriminating comment then asking for paddock passes I LOVE HER

-- olliebearman ill see what I can do

-- aubreyyang no haha dw about shes joking

-- olliebearman Ferrari would love to have you there!

user5 ARE WE GOING TO IGNORE THIS

olliebearman posted

olliebearman P1 and P2! Two reds on the podium this race. Congrats to @charlesleclerc.

charlesleclerc I won P1 but it looks like u won

-- olliebearman ?? I don't know what your talking about

-- alexandrasaintmleux don't worry his ears are clogged with champagne right babe

-- charlesleclerc 😏

-- user1 WHAT IS HAPPENING

aubreyyang woohoo 🏆 (I still have no clue how f1 works)

-- user2 shes so relatable girly pop womanhood just a girl core

-- olliebearman will draw u a diagram and explain later ☺️

-- user3 THIS IS NOT A DRILL THIS IS NOT A DRILL

landonorris congrats ollie I was not aware of your game

-- olliebearman 😅

-- user4 THIS IS SO CRYPTIC WHAT

smoothoperatorrr5 ARE WE IGNORING THIS BLATANT FLIRTING

aubreyyang posted on their story

caption: 🍝

macecoronel replied to your story

babe I miss you

aubreyyang

dude. no.

macecoronel

please can we talk

aubreyyang

why don't u talk to ur costar WHO YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH

olliebearman replied to your story

Aubrey you just exposed me please send the Ferrari nutrition team a strongly worded email that ITS JUST GRAPE JUICE

aubreyyang

you're across from me just speak??

olliebearman

ive been muted by your beauty

aubreyyang

you're so cheesy 😭

dior.n.goodjohn posted on their story

caption: celebrating w the girls

tagged: lilymhe, aubreyyang, alexandrasaintmleux

f1wags posted

f1wags NEWS! Aubrey Yang and Dior Goodjohn were seen with Lily Muni He and Alexandra Saint Mleux today in the paddocks at the Silverstone Circuit.

liked by lilymhe, f1wagsupdatenews and 9,700 others

view all comments

user1 NO WAY AGAIN??? PLS?? AFTER HER STORY TOO WITH THE MAN IN THE BG HER AND OLLIE HAVE TO BE TGTHER

-- smoothoperatorrr55 justice for me 😩😔 IVE BEEN SAYING

user2 I WAS THERE I SAW HER

-- user1 AJWORJ

-- user 2 she was literally so nice I got a picture with her and dior and she asked us if we were enjoying the race

-- user3 SHES SUCH A CUTIE now ik why they call her Hollywood's sweetheart

-- user2 ikr and then I saw her later with ollie Charles and Alex while they were leaving

-- smoothoperatorrr55 WHAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT

f1wagupdatenews posted

clip one: the video is filmed on an iPhone, the camera is grainy and blurry. The flash isn't on, and the only source of light is the coloured leds of a popular club in London. The camera pans to the dj platform, where Lando Norris is passionately mixing a pop song. Lily Muni He and Dior Goodjohn, only recognizable by their outfits posted earlier on Dior's story are dancing. Then, the camera shifts over to the bar nearby. Charles Leclerc and his girlfriend are next to each other, celebrating his P1 win. Next to them, Ollie Bearman is leaning against the bar, wearing slacks and a white polo, the first two buttons popped open. Beside him is Aubrey Yang, facing the opposite direction. She's wearing a short black minidress and thin black heels. She gathers her hair away from her neck as he speaks. He's explaining something to her, waving his arms and hands around. She watches his with amusement - or is it adoration? The video cuts.

clip two: this video captures Aubrey and Ollie at nearly the same angle, but this time they're both facing the camera while Charles and Alex have their backs to it. The older couple slightly obstructs the view, but it is evident that Ollie has his arm slung across the bar behind where Aubrey is standing, and she's leaning into him as she converses with Alex.

f1wagupdatenews Ollie Bearman seen celebrating this weekend after the Silverstone circuit with Actress and director Aubrey Yang. Could a new wag be entering the paddock? 👀

user1 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

user2 hes sm better than that mace dude THEIR SO CURTEEE

-- olliebearjeart GUYS MY SISTER WAS THERE WITH HER BF and she told me that they arrived later than everyone else (I think the guy in Aubreys story really is him) and they were together the whole night

-- user1 im actually praying

f1vroom88 didn't they both just get out of longterm relationships

-- user3 like half a year ago people are allowed to move on 🙄

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

Taglist: @callsignwidow @iloveyou3000morgan @honethatty12

© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.

[hiael]

Obey Me! Headcanons that the voices in my head created

The pact marks don't affect the MC in general, but when they are used, the color of the user's eyes tends to change to the color of sin (when Solomon sees the color of his eyes changing to the colors of his brothers, geez, jealousy boy), it happens more often than you think and in addition to the marks on the body, it's a reminder to everyone that you're connected with the lords of hell.

Human beings can speak very quickly and neither demons nor angels can keep up when this happens. Scientifically, we talk fast because of anxiety, nervousness, excitement or the communication conditions that the environment provides. Solomon and MC talking about something they thought was cool during the tea? For the others it becomes a RAP battle and all they can hear is "hum, nah, ha, hehe", the rest is indecipherable. More than once, during a presentation or debate in class, MC was told to shut the fuck up or slow down so that everyone could understand.

All material related to the history of the human world is more or less 100 to 200 years out of date in the library. Satan is slowly trying to update this, but they think that 200 years is almost nothing for humans to change, so unlike technology (which they think they created with magic) they just don't care. A new iPhone ok, now the human being landed on the moon during a bloodless war? Their lie, do you still believe what mortals say?

Humans sleep more than angels and demons, but even less than demons from the circle of laziness. MC, Solomon and Belphie (and sometimes Luke) usually sleep in some places at RAD during and between classes.

All exchange students have their own fan club. Luke's must be the quietest, everyone friendly and kind so as not to disappoint the little angel. Did you see him walking past you today, sad that he hadn't managed to buy a keyring at the RAD art fair? Bitch surprise, his fan club are still demons, the keyring will mysteriously appear on his desk in the classroom written "To Luke, a little big ray of sunshine in our lives" and the person who bought it has left the RAD, anyone know why?

Still on the subject of fan clubs, we're not talking about Solomon's. If the number of demons he has a pact with isn't enough of a warning, there are others walking around in capes and blouses as if they were cosplayers and sending letters to his house with phrases like 'roses are red, violets are blue, can we make a pact? Signed: Demon X' should be a better warning

And to end the fan clubs, MC's are trained in the art of being meticulous, a silent army that lives in the shadows - meaning they are in the devildom version of twitter. Lots of photos taken on the sly, fanart of all kinds, fanfics, merchandise and videos edits of (and when were they sheep? There are millions and millions of images circulating out there). Ever wondered why Miss Em sold so much? The MC fandom. They won't compete with anyone for their attention, the sweet human is simply appreciated the way they are (and they don't want to be on the brothers' list to "get away from the MC"). The Human Appreciation Club was not approved by the student council and they removed their devilpedia page, but that didn't erase these demons desire to idolize MCs. Live, love and laugh for MC, the way simps are.

At some point, the Real or Cake trend went crazy until Luke, who started making desserts that looked like everyday things, only stopped after surprising Simeon by cutting a cell phone-shaped cake (Simeon tried to break his with his hand after that, thinking it was cake. He spent 3 weeks without a phone)

Every time MC returns from a trip to the human world, they have to bring a suitcase just with souvenirs from there. Luckily, it can be anything they find fun, like a frog-shaped coaster, a jar of M&Ms with a pinwheel on top, a whole corn cake, a tie with a motivational quote, a children's book, or a coin of a specific year. Everyone just loves the fact that MC was thinking of them and they love using the gift they received. Barbatos's favorite tea set is now a completely transparent one with gold floral details.

Children's cartoons from 1940 still show on Devildom TV and Beel watches while eating or working out.

Lucifer has a family photo inside his wallet, Mammon once tried to steal his credit card, he was so shocked that he ended up screaming, he was caught and punish. Neither of them mention the photo.

[joshleyson]

Life Update + Postcards from Mount Pulag

If there's one thing I'm particularly proud of that I did this year in the name of self-care, it is using my Apple Watch for what it was designed to do and being mindful of closing my rings on the Fitness App, which includes meeting my Move, Stand, and Exercise requirements for the day.

Last weekend, I went on my first major walk this year, to Mount Pulag in Benguet, the majestic and highest mountain in Luzon. For the first time ever, I was able to set a *drum roll please* record-breaking 42K steps, perhaps more because my watch died in the middle of the climb. It never occurred to me to go on this ALMOST 10-hour hike until J, who by the way was a famous OG Tumblr influencer during the peak Tumblr era circa 2012 (if you know him, mag-asawa ka na hahaha), introduced me to the idea of going to Baguio (I haven’t been to Baguio since forever) and eventually having to explore Mount Pulag after. J and I have known each other for over 12+ years, but it was only this year that we began to see each other more frequently; he is also the person who introduced and challenged me to finish my rings on the Fitness app. I began this "ring" journey at the end of March, but I wasn't fully committed until I started seeing some, hmm, what's the word, "changes" when I started monitoring my InBody results, which show my weight, BMI, muscle mass, and even body fat percentage decreasing. Long story short, I'm making some small progress with trying to make my BMI normal again. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to paint the typical fitness buff image with raging, strong-looking muscles, because that's not who I am, but I wanted to give myself credit also for losing 10kgs in just 4 months, and I'm not even pulling my hair out about it, just that awareness of "Did I close my rings today?" moment. Like I told J, I never expected accountability to feel this good. So I'm quite delighted with that.

Enough of the fitness thingee and going back to Mount Pulag, I'm so happy that we were able to pull it off this year. We started by staying in Baguio for 2 days which by the way the weather was THE. BEST. Having to walk around the city in layered clothes without breaking a sweat as a pawisin was HEAVEN. It was something that I missed when I went back to Manila. After 2 days, we headed straight to Kabayan, Benguet, where our homestay was located, and by midnight started our trek to Pulag summit. The trek was surprisingly easy. The quiet and quaint landscapes while on our way to the summit were something that I enjoyed so much. It was tiring and yes, the weather was extremely cold. Miss Hypothermia is REAL especially on the summit but with the right amount of clothing, it's no biggie. Just do a little bit of research before signing up for the hike and you'll be just fine. On that trip, we met and bonded with new faces which I hope soon will become friends because they're nice to be with which made the hike bearable. Being the beach person that I am which is very OBVIOUS on this blogosphere, exploring the mountains and the countryside was very refreshing to see and I kinda wanted to make that commitment to at least do this at least once a year. Let's see!

(No Light Pollution? Here's the Milky Way captured in the default iPhone camera app.)

Overall, the Mountain Province trip including late-night walks in Baguio, wandering to places and cafés and bar hopping walking side to side because we’re drunk AF, and then Mount Pulag was something I'm so grateful for that I get to check them out this year. There were "unplanned" and "down" moments on that trip, sure, but I guess that's just normal, especially since I'm with the person I wanted to get to know more, and J, if you're reading this, thank you. I feel like all the things that happened on that trip have a reason and I just wanna say thank you for being…you. I will not be surprised if one day that rough idea of a psycho-thriller slasher movie we kind of created while sitting on a bus will soon come to life. Write that fucking screenplay. PLEASE.

So that's my not-so-quick life update that no one asked about. I think I mentioned before in this space that the more I have something "major" going on with my life whether professional or personal, I am less inclined to talk about it versus in my heyday, loud, teenage years and I think that's what really living is all about. Touch some grass they say, and literally, I did that in the mountains of Mount Pulag, and those memories which I hope I could bottle, and that seeing something so beautiful is enough to remind me that everything's gonna be alright.

Siri, play Gravity by Sara Bareilles, JOSHY

(Mountain Province, July 2024)

[octuscle]

My asshole of a cousin won’t stop being a homophobic little shit! He keeps talking about how gays are all about sex! I think it’s time to make him eat his words as a gay fuckboy!

What a shame your cousin is such a homophobic asshole. I mean, he really is hot as hell. I think he could be the star of any pole in a gay club. But not with that attitude… Let's change that then…

The picture of a guy sitting at the bar and actually wants to grunt "Buddy, bring me another beer". But instead he whispers "Honey, can you bring me a pink martini please?" All eyes at the bar are on him. He is shocked himself. He tries to clear his throat. He tries to sound manly again. But all he gets is "If it's no trouble, sweetheart!"

The barman says that he doesn't serve perverted faggots here. Your cousin smiles at him and says that's too bad, he can serve him any way he wants. He gets up, throws the waiter an air kiss and leaves. His phone plays a Taylor Swift song. He pulls an iPhone in a pink glitter case out of his trouser pocket. "Honey, yes, I'm on my way. Really, you'll never guess what just happened to me. I'm telling you, a demigod! But so straight. Not a chance." His gait becomes more and more prancing. It could also be because his rough biker boots are turning into silver pumps. He passes a shop window with a mirror. "Mon Dieu, what do I look like?" he says and pulls a lipstick out of the inside pocket of his leather jacket. As he touches up his lips, his beard begins to recede into flawless skin.

When he arrives at his new hangout, he looks like a scarecrow. Hair already platinum blonde, but still in a self-cut mullet. His super slim body doesn't even begin to fill out his clothes. Nothing is left of his magnificent muscles. But his fine fingers are perfectly manicured. "Honey, could you bring me a pink martini, please?" he whispers to the bartender. "Not until I get a smack," he replies. It turns into a deep French kiss. Not the last one the boy who used to be your cousin will give out today.

It's still quite empty in the bar. But the door opens and the party people start to pour in. The boy who used to be your cousin assesses every single new guest and gives notes in his head. Eight and better comes into question for a discreet meeting in the toilet. The one or two lucky ones who get a ten even get to take him home. But let's not kid ourselves. The only ten tonight is himself.

[ahtae]

a little sugar

warnings: sugardaddy!nanami, oral, mentions of penetration

being Nanami's sugar baby and coming home to a bouquet of roses larger than you are, sitting on the counter next to your new chanel bag you've been asking him for. How can he deny you? His special princess. How can he deny you when you suck him in so good, squelching and crying on his cock?

Nanami who spoils you whenever you say so. Denying that he's wrapped around your finger but shoving his black card in your cleavage every time he picks you up for a shopping spree.

Nanami who will send you a thousand dollar to get your nails done, telling you what color (he loves coffin french tips). When you tell him that your nails don't even cost half of that, he tells you that it's his sugar tax <3

Sugar daddy Nanami who gets a tad jealous seeing you with other men. How your pretty white teeth gleam in a smile. He shouldn't be, he knows he just pays your bills. But does that boy know how he makes you scream? Does he know how he wraps your hair around his fist and pounds so deep into you you can't even breathe? He snickers, he'd like to see his face while he pounds into you better than he ever could.

Nanami who buys you the pink iPhone, claiming he saw you oogling it on tiktok. When you ask what you're to do with your old phone, he tells you that your not to contact anyone else on this phone but him. and only him.

Nanami who always let's you finish twice before he puts his cock in you. "First on my mouth then on my fingers, princess, need to feel you everywhere."

Nanami who starts fucking you in missionary instead of doggy, cupping your neck and chin, forcing your dumb fucked out brain to look at him as he pounds into you.

Nanami who now lets you sleepover after a night of rough sex, greeting you with the image of his muscular, claw-marked back. "Sweet thing why don't you get back in bed, hm? I'll bring your coffee to you."

Nanami who kisses your forehead when he brings your breakfast to you, a diamond incrusted bracelet waiting for you. Telling you how good you are to him as he laces your hair with more sweet kisses, thicker and more tender than normal.

Nanami who takes you to Fendi right afterwards, practically buying out the entire store. When you ask him why he's being extra sweet today, he tells you your look extra sweet for him, pulling you in close and breathing into the crook of your neck.

Nanami who comforts you when you break up with your boyfriend. "How could he hurt my sweet girl?" He coos, running gentle fingers through your hair, eyes caressing your body. His calloused hands envelop yours, open your car door, and lead you straight to your favorite massage place<3 treating you to an entire self-care day because you deserve it.

Nanami who only eats you out that night, tongue driving languid circles on your clit, lapping and sucking on your swollen bud, drinking up your whines and moans<3

Nanami who spoils you so rotten you forget all about your ex. Buying you anything your heart desires: an entire new wardrobe of clothes, a new car (for you drive to brunch with the girlies when he's busy with work), and a new puppy for the two of you to raise.

Nanami who spoils you so dumb on his cock and with his wealth you don't have to worry a singular day in your life

~~~

IM OBSEESSEEEDD AHHH

[risingoftime]

can you do a riri fic where she says move your hand/ being aggressive during yk 🤭

𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖘 𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖍𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖘 | 𝖗𝖎𝖗𝖎 𝖔 𝖋𝖊𝖒!𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

synopsis:  Riri had just returned to her hometown after her time at Wakanda and MIT. After her school year of stress, she’s looking forward to finally spending the summer with her childhood best friend. Yet, the feelings she ran away from all return once she’s with her again.

word count: 3.8k

warnings: smut, friends to lovers, implied cheating, fingering, softdom!riri, overstimulation, strap use!, min plot, cursing, multiple positions, strap riding, mutual orgasm.

18+ | minors do not interact

➴ feel free to send me more thots

The knocking on my window jolted me awake. Quickly wiping away the drool from my lips, I saw Riri staring back at me. I almost pushed her over when I whipped open the car door. Enfolding her in my arms, I squeezed her body close to mine and spun around. The scent wavering off her skin made me more entranced with Riri—a sweet vanilla and saffron cologne she always wore, her signature. Her head rested on my shoulder, and we stood momentarily until I pulled away to get a better look at my best friend. Riri had never been the girly type growing up. She used to always wear her hair out in a heap of curls and wore clothes that accentuated her masculine features. Riri claimed it was “easier” to wear loose clothing when working in the garage. Today, she kept her hair braided in straight-back cornrows, allowing me to see her face, unlike before. That wasn’t the only change that I noticed about her. She had a restless look, bags under her eyes and an unreadable emotion that I couldn’t place.

“I’ve missed you so much!” I shook her as I said so. Riri had just rolled her eyes in response with the same goofy smile she had when we were kids. “Yeah, I could see that. I waited at the terminal for almost an hour, ringing off your phone as you drooled on yourself.” Sneaking a peak at the time, I saw 4:47 pm flash across my iPhone. 

“I’m so sorry! How did you even find me?” 

“I can’t miss this bright ass red car you built with my Dad. It’s a sight for sore eyes. Is that the Cuda you’ve always been talking about? I didn’t know you finished  it.” Riri trailed her fingers on the car's tail and popped my trunk to begin putting her bags inside. The car has been my dream for as long as I can remember. It’s a 72 Plymouth Cuda that Mr. Williams and I restored to ride like new. I’ve spent my spare time outside university lecturers working in the shop. So this car was just a perk. 

“Yeah, and if you’ve been listening to me during our calls, you’d know that already.” 

I flicked Riri in the temple of her head, opened the passenger door for her to enter, and hopped in shortly after. Before starting the engine, I told her, “We have a lot to catch up on.” 

Riri took her time before driving to my house, and I expected nothing less. From the looks of it, Riri needed those moments with her family to unwind. Either way, it gave me more time to prepare for her to sleep over. Since she’s been gone, I’ve moved into my parent's basement after they renovated the house. So not only did I have a bigger room, but I also had a living space and my bathroom away from my younger siblings, which meant more privacy when I had company. And I wanted Riri all to myself tonight without interruption, to talk, of course. 

I don’t know when I developed feelings for Riri, but I assume they had always laid dormant, waiting patiently to be known. It arose during our first goodbye when Riri had to leave for MIT. My throat felt thick, like it was hard to swallow, and my chest hurt at the sight of her packed bags in front of her house. The feeling was foreign to me as I had never felt strongly about anyone in that way before. Not even for my past ex-boyfriends. I never truly cared who came and left as long as I had Riri by my side. So naturally, when she left for school, I was distraught. I tried to convince her to stay in our city and work for our Dad’s mechanic shop, but I knew in my heart that she was destined for more. Her mind was one of her best qualities. Since she was a child, it was unmistakable that Riri was a scientific protege. I couldn’t live with myself if I were the reason why she never went after her dreams and aspirations. Yet now, as she came back home for summer break, I was unsure how I would go another year without her near. 

I waited patiently in my living room and assessed the space around me. I lit candles, and Riri’s favourite snacks, hidden from my curious siblings, were now perfectly arranged on my coffee table. Since childhood, we’ve been inseparable, literally. Both of our Dads had been best friends since college and decided to move their families to the same neighbourhood. Riri and I ended up doing everything together because of it. We went to the same school, played in the same soccer league, visited our Dads at their mechanic shop, and rode our bikes whenever the weather allowed. Sunday dinners would either be at hers or mine, and if we were lucky, we could convince our parents to let us order takeout. I can’t remember a time as a kid without Riri not being too far behind. She captivated all of my dearest memories. I felt the same—nerves and excitement from the airport. Riri would be here any minute now, and I couldn’t stop watching the clock. Our calls and texts had been less frequent this year as Riri’s workload and responsibilities were never-ending, making me even more impatient to see her finally. 

Heavy footsteps descended the staircase, and I instantly knew who it was before I could see the face behind the wall. “Riri, I still don’t understand how you’re 5ft and walk as if you’re a grown man,” I laughed. Riri looked down at her feet-covered Nike socks once she entered the basement and shrugged nonchalantly before making a beeline toward the snacks on the table. Her eyes instantly lit up once she saw the arrangements of sweet and sour candy from our childhood.  

“No way! I didn’t even know these were still sold in stores,” she squealed. 

Riri hugged me before opening the snacks, beginning with the gummy worms. She sorted the candies by colour, leaving two piles for her and me. I never minded this because they all tasted similar to me, but not Riri; she’s always adamant about them tasting different. Reaching forward, I grabbed one from what I assumed was my pile, which Riri claimed to dislike. 

“Cheers?” I turned to her on the couch, holding the worm in my hand to reach her halfway, and bumped mine against hers before biting off the gummy. 

“I never understood why we always used to do that as kids. Looking back, we thought it was so cool, but it’s corny now that we’re older” Riri smiled in between bites and held a handful of the worms in her lap. Although she appeared to be different, deep down, Riri was still the person I called my best friend. 

“Aren’t all traditions a bit corny?” I asked. 

“I guess… But what did I miss while I was gone? You said we needed to catch up.” 

Stretching out my legs in front of me, I reached forward to grab the wine bottle and poured myself a glass. “Yeah, we do. But first, you need to tell me why you’ve been MIA at MIT. It’s not like you not return my calls or texts. And now? You show up like everything is normal. Did you forget I know you like the back of my hand?” I raised my eyebrow at Riri, beckoning her to respond. She pursed her lips as if she was in deep thought about what to say. The silence stretched between us until she broke. 

“I wish I could tell you, I do. Just know that I wasn’t purposefully ignoring you. Can we call it even? It’s not like you haven’t done the same in the past.”

“Speaking of, how’s Jayden?”  The smirk on her face returned when she brought up my ex. 

“First of all, Jayden and I are irrelevant; second of all, why do you keep changing the subject? Does this have something to do with Princess Shuri visiting your dorms?” 

“How did you find out about that?” Riri exclaimed. Her body turned frigid, and her posture was upright and tense. She was unaware when others kept tabs on her, probably how she got involved with Wakandan royalty. 

“You’re roommate MJ told me. I still have her number from when I visited you last time.” The bitter taste remained in my mouth from having to go as low as contacting Riri’s MIT friends to know why she had been airing my calls. After all, I’m her best friend. I should know about what’s going on in her life. But, instead, time and distance felt like it was driving us further apart. It felt like a knife had stabbed me in my chest. 

“Look, I would’ve told you everything if I could. It’s just complicated,” Riri sighed. 

“Yeah, I know you would. I was just worried about you. Next time, give me a heads up before you disappear like that again.” 

“You were worried about me?” Her facial features perked up at the thought. 

“Of course, I worry about you! You drove me to the point of tracking down your fucking roommate. That’s such a stupid question to ask me, Riri.” To my surprise, the girl had the nerve to laugh. 

“It’s so hard for me to take you seriously when you talk like that. You’re cute when you’re upset.” 

“I won’t be so cute when I shove my foot up your ass.” The smile on her face grew more prominent, and what was said next made my mouth drop in shock. 

“Careful. I might be into that shit.” 

I felt my heart race at the thought of what kinks Riri might have. She’s never been the most forthcoming about her sexual escapades. Riri hasn’t ever told me about her dating life. I just always assumed she didn’t have one. But her comment piqued my interest. 

“Oh really, so what are you into? MJ?” I asked. 

“MJ has a boyfriend, and what I like… I don’t think that she could handle that.”

 I narrowed my eyes at her, “handle what? Riri, you’re 5ft.” Her legs were spread out before her, taking up more space as she got comfortable. It was playful banter, but I could feel my head spinning from our conversation's whirlwind and the implications of Riri’s sexual escapades. I wasn’t used to being on the other side of this. Usually, I would be the one spilling all of the juicy secrets. A part of me was bothered that she had another life that she had never alluded to. One that was kept between the sheets. 

“You'd be surprised. I could make you forget about that sorry ass Jayden’s name.” Her cockiness always ticked me off, yet now I was outright embarrassed. I had been more than forthcoming with Riri about Jay’s weak ass stroke game, and now she was throwing it back in my face. 

“It wasn’t like he was that memorable anyways,” I retorted. I ignored Riri’s suggestion, unsure if it was wise to venture and explore that side of our relationship. It wasn’t that I hadn’t noticed the tension or stolen glances that were exchanged between us. I was just scared to make the first move.

 “And I doubt you could have me hooked on you just like that. For all I know, you’re a holy virgin.” I held a poker face to conceal my beating heart and the jittery nerves that kept my body on edge. Riri’s eyes raked over my body, and suddenly my clothing felt invisible. 

“Give me five minutes. That’s all I need to get you begging for me.”

 Picturing what Riri’s hands were capable of with me underneath her. I’ve watched her work in the shop, observing how her nimble fingers can reach all the tricky spots to complete a job. I couldn't help but now wonder what they were capable of.  I bit my lip to distract myself from the oncoming images that shadowed my rational thoughts.

“Five minutes,” she repeated, “and I'll compensate for all the stress I caused.” 

Riri could tell my mind was turning and debating what to say next. She closed the space between us. I looked down at our legs and how hers brushed against mine. With every move, Riri had made my body even more hyper-aware of what would happen. Her fingers trailed along my legs, hinting at her intentions. My breath hitched at the contact. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had sex or a good fuck. Jayden was a pretty boy but wasn’t good for anything else but to look at. He kept me company for the time being until what I wanted flew in. Now that it was in front of me, I was unsure if I had the confidence to take it. 

“If we do this, Riri, I can’t forget it happened.” 

“Neither can I, and I don’t want to.”  Riri’s hand brushed against my cheek, and my breath hitched as her face approached nearer. I could smell the candy on her, the sugar remnants still on Riri’s lips. I craved to know what it would feel like to be the one who could lick it off. I felt the familiar wet spot between my legs from the mere thought of having Riri’s body against mine. Once her lips met mine, all my thoughts drifted away and were replaced by lustful impulses. It began soft and tentative, as if we were kids again, unsure of the other. Riri’s full lips were unbelievably soft as I lightly bit her bottom lip, encouraging her to open up further for my tongue to slip inside. The taste of sugar invigorated my senses, awakening every cell in my body and urging me to wrap my arms around Riri’s waist. I pressed myself towards her until our bodies were flushed against each other. I was practically on top of her at this point. I only paused between our heated makeout to bring my legs on either side of Riri to straddle her. I had been so distracted earlier that I hadn’t noticed the bulge between her legs. My mind began to reel at the realization of what it might be that I was feeling underneath me. Moving my hips in search of any friction that it could provide, I could feel myself begin to feel desperate, almost ready to beg for Riri to rub her fingers along my pussy. 

“Let’s go to my bedroom,” I said, sounding husky and breathless. 

Riri nodded in response and picked me up to stand upright from the couch. I guided her along the corridor to my room, and she wasted no time throwing me onto the bed. My eyes were wide from the shock of her strength. I noted how her back flexed when she removed her sweater and the light happy trail that led down to the band of her boxers once she turned to face me. My eyes lingered on the outline of her strap. Riri’s gaze met mine, then smirked, clearly aware of where I was looking. 

“Take off your clothes.”

Slowly, I lifted my shirt to reveal the pushup bra underneath. Stealing a glance at Riri, I could decipher the temptation and desire that lay dormant as she licked her lips. She looked as if she was ready to pounce at any second, making me want to move aggravatingly slowly. I tried to make her wait like she had done to me. Moving to the edge of the bed, I discarded the pants I wore onto the floor. I looked up at Riri for a sign of what may happen next. She stood between my legs and brought her hand to wrap around my neck, forcing my head back. I had completely submitted myself to her, trusting her fully. Riri applied pressure on either side of my neck, and when my mouth parted from the new sensation, she connected her lips to mine and slipped her tongue inside—breathing in each other’s air as her fingers circled the thin fabric that barely kept my lower lips covered. Riri’s fingertips rubbed my clit in an aggravatingly slow motion. I bucked my hips forward, urging her to increase her speed. At this moment, I didn’t want anything more than to be consumed by Riri’s presence. 

“Open your legs wider,” Riri commanded. 

I did as I was told, pushing my thighs further apart to permit more accessible access to my throbbing center. Riri dived deeper, teasing the entrance of my pussy, only allowing a fraction of her index and middle finger to thrust inside. The moan that escaped from me was sinful. 

“Riri, please” 

“Please, what?” she replied. 

“Please stop playing with me” My voice came out a pitch higher and sounded whiny. 

“Your wish is my command, Princess.”

Riri repositioned herself so that her bottom half was flush against mine while she moved her fingers further inside. She used her hips to guide her hand to apply pressure. I could feel myself get wetter the longer she continued. The sounds of my pussy filled the room, leaving no secret to what was happening in my bedroom. Riri left sloppy kisses on my collarbone to my neck until she reached my ear, only pausing to whisper, “Can I put it in?” I knew what she was referring to and nodded my head. I didn’t trust myself to be able to get the words out. 

“Use your words.”

“Yes.” 

“Yes, what?” Frustration briefly overtook me, and I was reminded that I was telling my childhood best friend to fuck me. I suddenly felt shy as I said, “Yes, Riri, please put it in.” 

“See, now, was that so hard to say?” 

I didn’t answer her question and watched Riri instead as she removed her pants and briefs to reveal an opaque pink dildo attached to her strap. Not the colour that I was expecting, but the size surprised me. It could’ve at least been 7 inches bigger than Jayden, that’s for sure. Riri held the pink dick in her hand and slowly glided it along my pussy, taking extra time to rub the tip against my clit before lowering it inside and stretching me out. Riri went slow at first until her full length was inside. My legs had already begun to shake from the new sensation that I felt from the girth of the dildo. 

“How does it feel, baby?” Riri began to grind her hips while thrusting in and out of my pussy. Her pace remained unhurried. She was enjoying watching my facial expressions with a sultry smile. When I didn’t respond immediately, Riri began increasing her tempo, and I couldn’t silence the escaping moan. “Fuck- so good,” I sighed.  She kept pounding inside me until my broken cries turned into gasps. I slyly moved my hands down to her torso to slow her down. Instead, Riri grabbed my hands and pinned them down onto the mattress. 

“C'mon, you can take it.” Riri’s lips hovered over mine, keeping eye contact throughout. I am completely and utterly lost in her trance. I’m convinced she wants to leave her mark, leave me so drunk off of her that I wouldn’t be able to think of glancing at another man. “Riri, I can’t; I’m going to cum” I whispered. I sigh into her kiss as Riri swirls her tongue around mine and wraps my legs around her waist to lock her closer. She released my hands to wrap her arms around me and flipped us over in the bed, so I was now on top of her. 

“Ride it out, baby girl” Riri kept her hands around my waist to keep me in place. I took my time to adjust to the new position that she had put us in and bobbed my hips on the strap, loving how deep it could go and fill my hole. I began desperately grinding in search of more. It brought felicity that I had not known before, so intensely that I hadn’t noticed how loud I was getting with each movement. “Shhh, baby,” Riri growled. “Shit,” we didn’t have the house to ourselves. I bit my lip as a reminder to remain quiet while I felt the orgasm take over me and my fluids slipping down onto the harness she wore. My core began to contract, and my legs began to tremble as I whimpered in her ear. “I’m cumming, Riri.” 

"Yeah?" Riri planted her feet on the mattress, balancing myself on top of her before she began thrusting upwards. 

“I’m not done yet,” she said. 

My pussy gripped around her as she kissed my G-spot with each thrust, pushing me to my next peak. "I can feel it on my clit" Her low voice was shaky, and it turned me on even more at the thought of her getting off from fucking me and using me like a toy. It sent a wave of urgency and need to make her cum. I was pinned against her and unable to free myself from her grip. “Keep bouncing on it, baby” Riri’s mouth was open agape, and she struggled to keep her eyes open as her small sighs of euphoria became moans. “Mmph.” Riri was unrelenting in chasing her high. My pussy got wetter from watching her face conform to a blissed-out state. 

“I’m so close, don’t move” Her voice was staggered and pleading. 

“Me too,” I replied. 

The last thing I saw was Riri’s eyes rolling back until my orgasm overtook me. I didn’t care who would hear as we moaned in each other’s mouths, breathing in the same air. My head spun out from cumming so hard. Riri’s legs collapsed, making the bed squeak from the sudden movement. When I opened my eyes, Riri analyzed me with a peaceful expression. 

“What? Why are you staring at me?” I asked. 

“You’re so beautiful” She smiled the same smile that she had at the airport earlier. I gave her a side eye and tried to shake my body off her, but her firm hold on me remained. 

“Aren’t you going to let me go?” I asked. 

“Not after you gave me great sex like that. I’m ready to go for round two,” Riri stated. 

“Round two?” I shrieked.

It was apparent that what had just occurred between us was longer than five minutes, but I couldn’t stop. Once I kissed Riri, I had already gained an insatiable appetite for her. I was left yearning for more and more. While lying there with Riri, I wondered what had I gotten myself into? 

[dravenscroft]

I want to write a modern AU where Hickey makes a living just selling weird or obviously stolen shit on Facebook marketplace.

Tozer is the most painfully normal guy but somehow totally unbothered by this. He's like, a nightclub bouncer or security guard by night and by day he just kind of chills out gaming and streaming in that big stupid hoodie of his. Except the background of his streams is the living room of the tiny shitty flat he shares with Hickey and there's always some crazy shit in the background that Hickey is selling.

Someone asks 'why do you have a seemingly working set of traffic lights propped up on your sofa?'

'How did you get 20 brand new iphones still in their packaging?'

'Oh god why are there five fire-damaged mannequins standing around behind you?'

And Tozer is always just like 'oh yeah I think they're something for my boyfriend's work, I don’t really know, I don’t ask. Anyway---'

He starts to get a dedicated little following because people always want to see what new things his weird, unhinged boyfriend has in the background. What has he brought home like some kind of deranged pet cat bringing in a dead bird today? Nobody is actually sure this boyfriend exists because he’s never on camera (Hickey is NOT letting people see his face, for obvious legal reasons), so people start to think Tozer is just fucking with them for views or fun.

Meanwhile on the already Wild West that is Facebook Marketplace chaos is unfolding as people complain about a string of petty thefts and burglaries. Bridgens has his rare books stolen :( Irving has something truly odd taken from his garden just to, like, taunt him.

There's theories about who it is but the case really cracks wide open when Gibson is like 'I just saw all the shit my ex stole off me when we broke up for sale on Facebook Marketplace and Irving I think I saw your lawn ornament on there too, so...'

It all comes to a head when Hickey and Tozer's little flat is full on police raided during one of Tozer's streams. The first time his subscribers see Hickey he’s being pressed face first against the wall and handcuffed.