#who would commit acts of violence just to get a taste of me

[mangosmoothiepussyv3]

oh what i would give just to smooch alucard

[aconitemare]

.

[auroravictorium]

snow on the beach (pt. 1) (k.b.)

Summary: kaz tries to freeze reader to death, but he's actually just trying to do something nice.

Pairing(s): kaz brekker & reader (semi-stablished relationship)

Word Count: ~2.0k

Warnings: mentions of prior stabbing, allusions to kaz's touch aversion, mentions of a near-death experience, reader thinking about punching kaz because he's hot, kaz trying his best

Genre: fluff w a touch of angst at the end

Author's Note: had to break this beast into a two-parter, otherwise it would end up being way too long. thank you all so much for the love on the midnights series <3 i'm so glad you guys are enjoying this as much as i am while writing it!! tag list has been added at the bottom, so feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added :D happy reading loves!

part two

grishaverse masterlist

There were exactly six inches of distance between you and Kaz's shoulder, a fact you were acutely aware of as you walked down the cramped sidewalk. Cold air gusted off the Fifth Harbor, chilling you through your coat, and you pulled the collar up to stop the wind from reaching its icy fingers down your neck. If you could, you'd burrow yourself into Kaz and leech off his body warmth, but you knew that wouldn't be subtle as you patrolled the harbor. He also wouldn't enjoy the contact, so you kept your hands firmly to yourself.

"I told you to bring a scarf," Kaz muttered just loud enough for you to hear. He limped along without slowing, but you knew he was watching you out of his periphery.

"And I told you that I hate the cold. Why didn't you bring Matthias?" Your teeth chattered, and you tugged your coat tighter around you. If anyone could bear the chilly weather brewing over Kerch, it would be the Fjerdan. But no, Kaz woke you up at dawn and dragged you along on his scan of the harbor. Meanwhile, everyone else was back at the Slat, sleeping or staying warm by the fire. If you were more money-minded, you would charge him interest for the time he was taking trying to freeze you to death. 

"Because Matthias hates me," Kaz answered. "And I find you more tolerable." He looked unbothered and unaffected by the cold, aside from a dusting of red across his stupidly handsome cheekbones. You thought about punching him for looking so attractive. It was unfair.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you just wanted to spend time with me." You glanced up at him, a smirk playing on your half-frozen lips. "But I must say, I'd enjoy this time spent together a bit more if I didn't feel like a walking ice block."

Anyone who knew Kaz only as the ruthless, greedy Dirtyhands wouldn't have noticed any change in his face. But you saw his lips twitch in an almost smile, and his eyes glittered with joy. He must've been in a great mood to risk letting his mask slip like that.

"You're impatient," he told you.

"You're cruel," you retorted, turning your eyes to the cloudy sky. 

The clouds were thick and dark, blocking most of the morning sunshine. Nasty rain was almost certain to happen, but with the frigid cold, a small hope blossomed in your chest that it might turn to snow. Rain was characteristic of Ketterdam, but snow? It didn't happen often enough for your taste. Ironic, considering your loathing of the cold, but there was something magical about the snow. It reminded you of when you were young and watched it fall through the cracked living room window of your childhood home.

Kaz didn't respond, but amusement radiated off of him. You dared to huddle closer to him for warmth, and you were pleased to discover he didn't seem all that inclined to move away. In fact, Kaz was completely unbothered by your closeness to him and your arm pressing against his. He waited for the terror to claim him as it usually did, but he was surprised and pleased to find that little came. He felt nothing more than a tad nauseated.

"Are we almost done? It's nearly breakfast time." If you didn't get next to a hearth soon, you would refuse liability for any acts of violence you committed. 

Kaz again didn't answer, and he remained silent for the next two minutes, even as you huffed and muttered under your breath. You halfheartedly considered pushing him into the road and seeing how well he could dodge a carriage.

After another minute of walking that felt like an hour on your numbing legs, you opened your mouth to ask what was next after the wintry patrol of the harbor. Kaz suddenly stopped walking, and you nearly ran into him. He either didn't notice or didn't care and gripped your elbow to tug you across the rough cobbled street and into an alleyway.

"Couldn't wait for the cold to get me?" you asked, taking in the grimy alley you'd been pulled into. You wouldn't blame Kaz for tiring of your pestering, but you hoped for a more scenic view if your demise was coming. Maybe a nice view of the harbor.

"I realized killing you myself would be more efficient," he answered. His lips quirked up in a smirk.

Kaz pulled you toward a doorway you hadn't initially noticed. Instinctively, you felt for the holster at your waist, but Kaz didn't seem concerned about safety. He was still uncharacteristically cheery, for him at least, and his shoulders were relaxed as he released you in front of the door and rapped his gloved knuckles against the wood three times.

"Has anyone ever told you how you have a way with words?"

You examined the door set into the brick wall: there was nothing special or flashy about it. It was a simple dark oak door leading into a building from the alleyway. You couldn't imagine Kaz making a house call, and walking through the front door on a heist wasn't his style. So why had he brought you here?

The door opened suddenly, and you nearly jumped in surprise. There stood a woman whose perfect tan skin and immaculately styled hair immediately told you that she was Grisha. You examined her more closely, searching for any imperfection, and concluded that she was a Corporalki. 

Her brown eyes flicked between the two of you suspiciously before she seemed to recognize the man at your side. She paled under his icy gaze. "Mister Brekker. I didn't- I must have missed your appointment," she said.

"No appointment, Amalia." He jerked his chin toward you. All hints of humor or amusement had disappeared from his voice. "She needs her tattoo. The crow and cup."

You looked up at him in surprise, your lips parting. After two years with the Dregs and almost a year in Kaz's closest circle, you were finally getting your tattoo? Most Dregs got it sooner, but yours had been put off. For a long time, you wondered if it was because you still needed to prove yourself as a valuable member of the Dregs. But here you were on this stranger's doorstep, and Kaz said this to Amalia as if it was a daily occurrence and not something you had been looking forward to for a long time.

You examined his face, looking for any indication of how he felt, but the expressive Kaz from your walk had disappeared and been replaced with the aloof Dirtyhands everyone feared. You nearly shivered at the sight; of course, you weren't afraid of Kaz anymore. But he so rarely wore that look around you that when he did, it reminded you of what he was capable of. He was not just the man who shared gentle touches of hands with you or tapped his cane against your boot when he wanted to remind you that he was there. He could be cold, calculating, and downright cruel when he needed to be.

Amalia nodded and poked her head out of the doorway to peer into the alley. "Of course. Come in." Her eyes flicked around, searching for anyone following before she stepped aside for the two of you.

Kaz led the way inside, ducking into the warm, incense-filled parlor. You trailed behind him, eyes on his neck as you tried to process the news that Kaz had decided not to tell you about. The door shut behind you, and you examined the dim, smoky entryway. One long, threadbare carpet along the creaky floor, an old staircase with a decaying railing, and a few obviously forged paintings on the peeling wallpapered walls.

"A moment alone, please," you murmured to Amalia as she passed. She moved into a room to your left and then shut the door to give the two of you privacy. Turning to Kaz, you raised your brows. "I'm getting my tattoo?"

Kaz turned to face you after removing his coat and throwing it over the rickety handrail. He leaned against the rotting wood and met your gaze. His eyes filled with warmth again as he looked at you; Dirtyhands had receded for now. "It's been two years," he said softly, so Amalia couldn't hear from the other room. His voice was unexpectedly tender, and you stepped closer to him. "It's overdue."

"You usually send new recruits to get theirs alone and see if they back out of it." You met his gaze. Your heart fluttered in your chest as one side of his mouth quirked upward. Every time he smiled, you were grateful you survived a dagger to the chest nearly five months ago and got the opportunity to finally see it.

"You're hardly a new recruit," he responded. Kaz's cheeks were pink, and you couldn't tell if it was from the heat of the parlor or whatever he was thinking. "And if I sent you alone, this wouldn't be much of a surprise."

"You wanted to surprise me?" you said softly. Your heart was going all mushy on you. Damn it. Pull it together. It's just a tattoo. But it was a tattoo that he came with you to get, even though he didn't have to and probably had a million other things to work on. 

Kaz scowled. "Don't be ridiculous." He had a reputation to uphold, and here you were, completely correct in accusing him of trying to surprise you. His heart flipped in his chest at the happiness on your face, but he maintained his frown. That happiness would be his ruin, but so be it. He hadn't spent three days by your bedside and walked through the blistering cold waiting for damn snowflakes to fall for nothing. He did it for you, for the smile that threatened to break down every barrier he'd put up around his heart and his emotions after Jordie died. 

The icy water of the harbor lapped at his ankles in warning. Stay close to shore, Kaz. 

"Kaz Brekker wanted to surprise me. I'm honored," you teased. You stepped closer and beamed up at him, unaware of how much further Kaz's thoughts went than the tattoo. The scowl on his face lightened, and he looked at you with an expression you didn't recognize on him at first. 

His eyes flicked down to your lips, and you realized what that look was.

Longing.

Kaz didn't move closer or further away, fighting against the water rising around him as your chests touched. You were so warm, so close, and he could see every beautiful shade of color in your eyes even in the dimness of the parlor. If he could paint, he would cover a million canvases with it to try and replicate it to be kept forever. He would make a miniature to keep in his jacket pocket, close to his heart.

He didn't realize that he'd leaned in until a wave of panic threatened to drown him, and he had to jerk away to get air. He turned away from you, and your heart sank in your chest. Not because he hadn't kissed you, but because it was clear he wanted to. It broke your heart to watch him battle himself and then be furious when he felt like he lost each time. You wished there was more you could do.

You brushed your fingers against his shoulder. It's okay, the gesture told him. His shoulders loosened again. He wasn't aware that he'd bunched them up.

"Let's go inside," you whispered. 

He nodded, and for once, Kaz Brekker did not meet your eyes. He thumped his cane against the creaky floorboards and then strode into the room Amalia was waiting for you in.

You took a deep breath, turned your eyes toward the sky and whatever may be there, and followed Kaz into the adjoining room to receive your tattoo.

[part two (coming soon)]

TAGLIST: @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r

[slashthrashandcrash]

*still twirling phone cord, hi it's me again* I think one of the other things about the slasher x final girl dynamic is the subversion of expectation. For so many of us girlies like myself we're used to men being aggressive, violent, even abusive, but when the slasher (maybe even covered in blood, maybe even after committing terrible acts earlier in the film) is with her, how is HE the only hand that caresses her gently? How is HE the only one who genuinely cares about her safety? It's both hot and romantic and terrifying and also oddly childlike in how incongruent it is with previous patterns. It's not fair but it feels both nice and wrong and intimate and dangerous and

Are you there God, it's me, Danny--

See see see, you and @unnamed-blob would get along swimmingly when it comes to loving soft yanderes that are possessive and sweet to their darling while being a killing machine towards anyone who gets between them. Me, though? I like that spice, I want him to still be rough and mean because frankly, it's all he knows and understands. Grabbing things that he wants has always worked before, just make her settle down by force and eventually it'll be smooth sailing.

But this new feeling of love and desire is so painfully foreign, he doesn't know how to hold himself together when it comes to her. He knows violence and bloodshed and the thrill of the chase, not butterflies in his stomach when he thinks about her alone. It feels similar to bloodlust, in fact that's what he assumed it was at first when he went after her, but every time he corners her he just...fuck, he doesn't know what he wants. He wants her. It's making him crazy, confused, angry -- what the fuck kind of hold does she have on him? If he could get rid of her then everything would go back to status quo, but he just can't bring himself to do it. It's her fault he's like this, she either needs to fix it or be punished for it.

It makes the times when he genuinely tries to be soft and gentle all the more rewarding, because god damn is he trying but still failing so miserably. Flowers and gifts and hair pets, those are things girls like, right? So if she likes them, then she'll like him, and then he can finally understand the turmoil inside of him and...oh, wait, yeah she's rejecting every token of affection he's trying to force on her, be it because it's still soaked in blood or because she just doesn't trust anything he drops in her lap. He's hurt by her rejection, can't she see the effort he's putting in just for her?? Doesn't that earn him ANY favor?? Well, if she wants to be ungrateful, then she'll have to make it up to him instead to win back his kind gestures.

He's so desperate for her love and attention that he'll get it through any means necessary, and the minute, the second, she reciprocates even a fraction of affection, it's all over. He'll be her smitten lapdog. He's had a taste of what he's been craving but could never quite name and now he's starving for more. It doesn't matter if it was something she said in a panic, if she was just trying to distract him, was lying to play along with his obvious fantasy as part of her escape attempt -- he doesn't care. He needs more of it or he may actually slaughter this entire town in his search for her. If he can't have her, then he'll make sure there's no one left who could.

[spicyclover]

All the things you said | part four

Summary: A big dinner is organized by Charles to bring together some pilots and their wives, girlfriends, sister and friends. Everyone enjoys the evening until a topic of conversation leads to dark revelations. What secrets will be revealed?

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Hope you’ll enjoy this part. Let me know in the comments section! And to support me by tipping me!

I'm open to requests.

Little information, I will, for now, only post on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Thank you, and Enjoy! :)

Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover

WARNING: mention of SU*C*DE WARNING !R@PE! TOUGH CONTENT, BE AWARE!

If you need help. Please get help. You are loved, and your life is valued. Even if you don’t see it, you are loved.

DISCLAIMER:  This story is fiction and has no correlation with reality. All site names making acts, violence or any other type of aggression are used for artistic purposes, and they did not commit those acts.

It’s only when Charles' phone starts ringing that he looks away. He calmly enters the room and answers.

“Hello?”

You always liked the fields. You always loved hiding in the big wheat fields surrounding your grandparents' house when you were little. This stretch of yellow was as far as the eye could see. You liked feeling the stems between your fingers, the seeds melting to your touch, and the particular smell of wheat.

You remember a hot summer day. Lying on a tablecloth after a picnic, nature calms by this overwhelming heat, especially the calm of this yellow and green nature. You remember the farmer who held the farm. You spent days watching him working. Helping him through the mould. Watching him turn wheat powder into cereal. You remember this great man, always with a grain of wheat in his mouth that was constantly chewing.

You remember the hum that bees made at work. From wheat to wheat, pollen is harvested. You remember the nests in the hives that you created one summer. Your grandfather, with his jumpsuit, would go every morning and inspect the nests, and you loved watching him do it. You also loved to taste honey with each harvest. Honey is good. It’s sweet. It’s sweet. It’s wild.

You remember Sebastian. His blond hair, his smile, the sound of his kart engine. Many hours passed in his company at the track with his dad. You remember your big brother, following him and Sebastian all day long, like the annoying little sister you were. You remember falling from a tree after the boys thought it was a great idea to climb it. You see your brother jumping down the tree to get to you and hear Sebastian running back to the house to get help. You spent the night at the hospital. You broke your arms that summer, and you had a commotion. Your parents were furious and punished your brother for the rest of the vacation. 

You remember your first winter in the mountains. Mornings skiing, and afternoons making snowmen, eating maple syrup, drinking hot chocolate, just playing in the snow. See your happy brother’s face after he managed to get the last pancake.

You remember Sebastian’s victories. To see him move up from category to category. You remember his encounter with Hanna. You love Hanna. She is so sweet and kind. You remember your great jealousy towards her from the height of your twelve years. She who steals your Sebastian. She who steals your second brother. Oh yes, you were jealous, but she knew how to win your heart, and after all, she stayed.

You remember the Ferrari years. Everyone was in red. You saw the world with red glasses. Red like love. Red like anger. Red as the colour. Red as blood. It’s kind of at this time, when adolescence really starts that you start to change. Physically, mentally, and spiritually, you were no longer the wise little girl your parents admired and your brother despised. No, you grew up making mistakes, a lot of mistakes, until you met him.

Him. The golden boy. The one destined to be great.

You remember his perfume, his smell, his laughter, his mimics, his way of speaking, his way of being and his way of simply being. He intimidated you so much; this guy was destined for something big. Whereas you, we never expected much from you besides being pretty, lovely, not disturbing, quiet, and reserved.

Quiet. 

Reserved. 

Pretty. 

In those words, your brain falls into the dark side of your life. The darkened side of time. Painful and unhappy memories. The memories of him, the one who once was your best friend. He who once was your confidant. He who once saw fit to r*pe you.

To find you after the Grand Prix, in your apartment, in your house, in your home. To be a little too drunk, surely. To hold you firmly. To put his lips on yours. To hold your wrists. To put all his weight on your body. To force you into bed. To beg him to stop. To cry in silence. To feel it in you. To feel dirty. To feel unloved.

To feel alone, so lonely, too lonely. 

To find yourself curled up in a ball in a corner. To wait until morning for him to leave. To want to end your life. To end your nights. To seek help. To be abandoned. To be alone. To be dirty. To be silent. To be reserved. To be pretty.

To be pretty. 

To be pretty. 

To be. 

Silent is all you ask for. 

It’s been a long night. The hours have been staggering. The noises of monitors, nurses, doctors, and ambulances invade their ears. No one speaks, and no one dares speak. It is as if a white veil covers the weighing atmosphere and borrows all those present.

The wait is long, too long. They wait patiently for the outcome of this atrocious night, something that does not happen. Sebastian holds his head in his hands, tears have finished flowing, but his eyes are still red. He feels bad. He feels immense guilt. This mixture of shame, sadness, contempt and anger is eating him increasingly as the hours pass and pass before his eyes. He blames himself for not coming sooner. He blames himself for not holding you back. He blames himself for not seeing. He blames himself.

Full of life and ardour, this little girl was smothered under this icy water. Frozen in time. Only the repetitive sound of drops escaping from the pipe disrupted this freezing scene. She hides all her problems behind her smile. Never in his life has he thought of having this vision of you. This pure horror vision of an act yet so courageous. Because it takes courage to think about yourself before thinking about others. It takes courage to put yourself forward and not others. It takes courage to achieve what others have likely failed to achieve.

The roar of the machines stifled Charles. He closed his ears in the hope of silencing them. To see you with your tubes hanging around you, in you. On this hospital bed, this white bed, this room that feels the end. Eyes wet, Charles looks at your pale, serene face. The doctor’s words are dry and not encouraging. Your parents arrive a few hours later, a flight later. They cry. Your brother has tears in his eyes. Sebastian collapses in a corner. Hanna is there; a veil of sadness covers his eyes. Heidi cries in the arms of Daniel, who looks again in the eyes of Charles. Charles holds your hand, your hand. Your hands are icy by the water, frozen by the consequences, icy afterwards. Lando doesn’t dare come back. He feels guilty because he refused to believe you, to reach out to you, see you, and see your distress. He preferred to become blind rather than awake.

Charles, sitting next to you, is watching people walk by. To say goodbye to you, goodbye, forever. He doesn’t want to. He can’t. You’re still breathing. Your heart is still beating. So why do you have to leave? Why did you choose to go?

“Why?” He mumbles one more time, his head against your ear. “Why are you not fighting?” 

“Cha... we have to go.”

“No... I-I-I can’t. I can’t leave her.” His voice breaks in a sob.

“Charles,” Pierre says, putting a comforting arm on his shoulder. “Let her go.”

“No...” Charles pushes him away, gripping your hand tighter. “She’s going to survive. She’s going to live. She has to live. You have to live.” He prays, kissing your cold skin.

Pierre sight and get out of the room. His family, her family, his friends, and her friends are here waiting for him. The visiting hours are almost over. Everyone wants to go back to their house and sleep a bit. They haven’t slept all night. Charles hasn’t slept all night. Pascale enters the room quietly. Staring at his son. 

“Charles. We need to let her rest. Will come back in the morning, d’accord mon bébé?” She says, taking him in her arm. 

He acquires at her request despite himself. Unable to fight anymore, fatigue slowly eats him away, and he knows that he is of no help if he is exhausted. He leaves the room not without a last kiss, a last look, a last goodbye.

Tag list: @tyna-19​ @dessxoxsworld @ynbutbetter @alexander-hamilhoe @honethatty12 innieblogg janeholt3 mloyer heeseung-baby 

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Monsters Are People

🩸Previous Parts Here🩸

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats, mpreg), alpha serial killer/hitman Dom, omega mob boss Kells, cursing, threats, night terrors, insomnia, overprotective Dom, underlings being idiots, mentions of murder, past abuse, past assault (SA), M being absolutely awful, attempting to out someone, guns, knives, mentions of castration, stalking, scared boys, Collette being sneaky, anxiety, enemies to lovers 💣 Rating: mature

All ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

The couple didn't make it into work until a little late the next day. They'd spent the night and early morning showering off the mess they'd made of each other and cuddling in bed, too tired to continue their play. Though around dawn they'd had their first instance of a child banging on their door in fear. Blain had slept terribly and had a night terror he couldn't seem to escape from. They were happy to sit up with him in the living room watching tv until both he and Colson fell asleep, one leaning on Dom’s shoulder and the other in his lap. The Alpha didn't move until they woke but couldn't bring himself to rest. He didn't think he would be able to until Megan was taken care of.

Kells hadn't expected to click so well with the teen so quickly but Blain hadn't much left their side since his nightmare. He wouldn't talk about it but they could see the darkness behind his eyes and Col didn't mind having yet another shadow. The kid was small but they found a crop top that fit him like a tee. He barely came up to Col’s sternum so everything else was out but the clothes he wore over. When the young omega asked to go to work with them he promised to stop at a few stores along the way which got him a look and a plea for ‘only where Dom goes’. Rude but alright. His style wasn't that far off from his mate's but since he had to act professional he couldn't always show it. He could let kids be kids though. Especially since they were all getting along.

The boss could tell his lover was drained but the other man just kept pushing himself. It was his second night at least with no sleep and he was running on fumes, ADHD, and fucking Dr. Pepper. The taste on his lips made Colson’s nose wrinkle but whatever helped he supposed. After an impromptu shopping trip and a late breakfast they got to their basement building to find a mess. The underlings led by Pete were visiting and trying to apologize but they weren't supposed to fucking be there.

Most of the office was part of their cover, A PR company that controlled a good portion of the area's nightlife and funneled money to charities from rich assholes trying to get richer. Of course the only public relations they worked on were the side companies Kells actually owned but the cover still helped and the street boys knew not to fuck with it. Finding them outside his office was a middle finger to more of his rules than he could stand for after having Megan shit all over them. He knew he needed to put his foot down but fuck he was tired. He just wanted to make a plan about her and ignore everything else.

“Why they here?” Blain grumbled from behind him as Col led the way past the crowd. The kid had noticed two of the beta's who helped keep him hostage the day before.

“Because they're fucking idiots with a death wish. Come on, let's get you settled with Tom and Mod.” He sighed as he shut the door behind him, right in Pete’s face.

“But I want to see wha’ you do. Especially if you ripping them a new one. I'll be good. Won't even notice me.”

Colson shared a look with his mate over the boy's head but the killer just shrugged. He didn't exactly believe the kid but he wouldn't kick him out. They wanted him to feel welcome even if that meant he saw the gritty truth of their lives. He had to learn it sooner or later and he'd already watched them both commit murder- with his help. What was a bit of yelling and threats of violence after that?

The boy stayed mostly hidden between them until they were settled in the main meeting room, after getting introductions out of the way and seeing how comfortable the couple was he seemed to relax and gravitated to Tom and Mod anyway. The boss had thought his mother would love him but yet again she was missing. It was starting to worry him, especially since Tim was at the table. She'd been mostly absent since the break in and he really hoped she wasn't trying to take her own revenge. Sometimes she liked to be the matriarch but he was the leader of the family. Mostly. Normally. Well fuck he was supposed to be.

After making sure to get his jacket settled and his glasses fixed above his nose the omega allowed Pete to enter with his tail between his legs. He caught the way Blain watched him hide and for the first time he felt a little shame. He couldn't let everyone know but at the same time he didn't want to make the boy think he couldn't be himself. He had to push the worry away for the time being but he'd revisit it later with Dom. Maybe his closest men were fine with following an omega but everyone knowing? He'd be run out of town. It was a sweet thought hoping to change the world for the kids but it couldn't happen and he shouldn't be the example. He'd never even thought about it before.

“Boss, I'm sorry I went along with her without asking you first but she said it was a gift for you! She told me she searched all over and found your stolen shipment and she could guarantee a reward and that I'd finally get a seat at the table. I didn't even think! She's always been your second. Was she really stealing from you?” Pete was obviously terrified but completely confused. Colson hadn't even worked out how to explain without giving too much away. He'd been too busy the day before.

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, he had a pounding headache already and just wanted a nap. He'd walked around too much while out shopping and he was really starting to second guess his want to be the boss. Where was the good again? “How long have you worked for me Pete? Have I ever allowed anyone to surprise me?”

“No boss. You fucking hate surprises. I've been with you a decade and I know better. She's just so-”

“What? Manipulative? Hot? Controlling? What are you about to call her? You gonna say she's an Alpha and you can't deny her? Did she fuck you to obey?” He wasn't normally so catty and he knew he was trying to catch the beta in a trap. It wasn't fair but he was overheated and his hormones were running amok.

“N-no! Of course not! I'd never fuck your girl, boss! Swear! I thought it was different because it was her! She said she'd be in charge soon and she'd make sure I got promoted. I figured it was a wedding gift or some shit. It's not my place to question your old lady.”

Colson felt like he'd been hit in the face and his shock was so strong his eye twitched behind his purple shades. His lover swallowed a growl beside him but it was Blain who laughed. “Wrong Alpha, dick bag!”

Someone must have given him a look because his next giggle was muffled but Pete still looked at the boss even more conflicted and ashamed. “So you aren't banging her? When she said she'd be in charge I just assumed…”

“Yeah and look at you making an ass out of yourself. Look… Ten years right? Maybe I should have promoted you already, maybe that's my bad. I think this proves it wasn't though. But at the same time if you were part of my circle you'd already know she's on the outs. What were her exact fucking words?” Colson asked as he leaned forward on his seat. It was hard to be intimidating when trying to hide a baby bump but he still saw the fear in the beta's eyes.

“She just said ‘I’ll be your boss soon, don't worry about Daddy, I'll take care of him. If you help me with this and bring your boys I swear you'll get a seat.’ and some shit about she knew how bad I wanted it. She said she planned to branch out and we'd be even bigger than just LA. Made it sound like she'd keep me in mind for some big shit in the future. She's damn good boss. A fucking snake.” All the energy seemed to go out of the man and he leaned against the wall. He seemed entirely defeated and probably thought he wasn't walking out alive. The thought of shooting him did go through the boss's mind, especially when he called him daddy in the mock girl voice but… he couldn't decide yet.

“Thank you for telling me. Whatever she meant… It wasn't about us getting married.” Kells shuddered at the thought. “I need you to check in with everyone outside and make sure they don't know anything extra. After that send them the fuck away and remind them of my rules. If they show up here again without invitation they're worse than fired.” He watched the man nod and swallow hard, probably thinking the same applied to himself. “Come back after to update me. I'll have a decision about you then.”

The go-between stumbled out, even saluting Colson in his fear. He was trying so hard to make up for his mistake and the boss knew that. He also knew the idiot had served him well for ten years. Maybe he needed to let new people in sometimes. “Tim, good to see you back. I hope you're planning to stay?” He asked the older man who was sat at the other end of the table. He looked like he belonged there because he had. Anyone who Travis trusted was good in his book.

“Thanks brother. I figured I might help out until this situation is resolved. Maybe longer. It's nice to be back.”

Kells looked around the room at his nearest and dearest, he wished his mother was among them but he supposed some decisions could be made without her. They couldn't keep putting shit off. “First, anyone have anything against bringing Pete in? He's been good before this.”

“You're actually asking? You're the boss bro. Pete's cool enough and he's got a good rep with our dealers and the other buyers and shit. I think it'd be good to keep him close.” Rook shrugged and they all went around the table agreeing.

“So that's that.” Col nodded, glancing to his mate next to him who just watched everything happening. He looked so tired the omega wanted to send him home for a nap. “So Megan…” He started the conversation instead and Dom sat up straighter automatically.

“I vote we kill her.” Blain spoke up and Kells fought not to roll his eyes.

“Does half pint get a vote?” Rook asked which got a glare from the kid.

“You got a mirror? Obviously not wiv tha' mop ya call hair.” Blain snarked back and Rook burst out laughing.

“I like this one. Can we keep him?”

“We're adopting him so yeah. I mean… as much as you can adopt without paperwork. We’ll get you new papers actually, Mod?” It hit the omega they should have thought of that already and his actual second in command nodded. He and Tom had been quiet and to themselves all day but whatever was up with them was too much for the boss. He had a lot on his plate already.

“You fucking wha’ mate?” The young boy asked, his spring green eyes wide as if he hadn't even dared to think about that.

“Yeah. What did you think we meant? We'll get you papers. If you want to talk about this at home though..?” It started to dawn on the man that it might be a little overwhelming. Especially since he'd only moved in the day before. He was so used to taking in people but deep down he knew this was different.

Dom laid a hand on his knee under the table and patted softly and he reached to twine their fingers. “Yeah um… later. Fanks.” Blain explained softly and sat back in his chair but didn't look away from them.

“So besides death, what are our options with Megan?” Tom brought the conversation back around thankfully and opened up the floor to suggestions. No matter how much she deserved it, it hurt the man to think about taking her out.

“You do it or I do.” The Alpha spoke up and though Colson already knew it still surprised him. Dom didn't normally speak up during work.

“I know.” Kells whispered, taking off his glasses and setting them on the table to rub his temples for a moment. He needed the world to pause it's spinning, he really didn't feel well.

Of course it didn't though and like the old adage when spoken about the devil appeared. Megan stalked her way into the office with Pete running behind her seemingly trying to stop her before she could. Her heels clacked on the marble floor and when she got to the table she glared down at Blain in her spot. Of course it was normally Collette’s now, Dom was on his other side. There wasn't a seat for the female Alpha because she no longer belonged. It felt final enough for Col but it obviously didn't say shit to her. Narcissism was hard to break through.

“Daddy-”

“I tried to stop her boss. I'm sorry!”

Colson held up his hand to them both and glared. A part of him said to put back on the glasses but there was no reason to hide. Not with her. He wanted her to know an omega ruled here and she had no place in his family. “How the fuck did you think you could waltz in here after the shit you pulled? Stealing from me? Trying to sell omegas I saved? Going to my fucking enemies? What part of the past few months has told you you're even allowed on the goddamned property?”

She tried to look contrite and pout but he saw through every fake look she'd ever given him. Her whole existence was starting to feel like a lie as she stood there and seemed to work through her options. Eventually she stood up straight and crossed her arms, dropping any mask of false familial love or respect. “I think you understand the gravity of your situation now Daddy. You know what I know. You can say yes to me and we share everything, I'll even let you keep your title- but not the pet. He's barely fucking housebroken and I want your devotion. Or I can tell everyone the truth and you lose everything. I think it's a simple question. Besides, you already know I know how to make you scream.”

She couldn't see the look on Dominic’s face because she was standing partially behind him but Kells could. Calling him a pet was one thing, the Alpha could handle that, but her last implication of the time she assaulted his mate was too far. His tired eyes were crimson and his lip was raised in a quiet snarl. If she moved to touch his partner he would kill her. Full stop.

“Oh and anything the mutt gave you, that's gone too but don't worry. If you want to be a real family we can be.” She cooed.

Dom had his blade out and was about to lunge before Kells stopped him. He didn't want more blood shed in the office. Thankfully his mate had only made it as far as pulling the knife and Megan hadn't even realized how close to death she was. Colson patted his lover's thigh under the table to soothe him before he sat back and arched a brow at her. “Yeah, I don't think so. I think instead you're fired. Cut off. Out on your ass and blacklisted. If you don't leave California I'll let him finish what he's desperate to start. Honestly, I'd leave the States if I were you. I can't keep him leashed all the time.” He gave her a faux pleasant smile.

“Fine! It's your funeral.” She huffed, stomping her way closer to the middle of the table. “Everyone! I know I should have told you sooner and I'm sorry I didn't but I thought Travis would want me to protect his dirty secret.” Her voice was that whiny pitch that meant she was trying to seem genuine. It hurt Col's head. “I'm ashamed to admit that as amazing as Travis was, he was lying to all of us and so is Colson. I thought he could be a good leader anyway but he's the same as they all are.”

Kells pushed himself to stand up as he let her keep rambling and he slowly started unbuttoning his jacket and laid it behind him on the chair. He was left in a shirt that obviously showed off his stomach but she didn't seem to notice. Too wrapped up in her pitiful tale.

“I found out when he was young and tried to sleep with me. You all know how much I loved Travis, we all did. But I always thought he and I had a special relationship. I can say that without Collette here, I'm just trying to be honest.” That made Colson chuckle but she just raised her voice and ignored him. “When she stopped my relationship with him I was heartbroken and thought Cols would be good for me. He was young but, you know why not? At least I could be part of the family.” It made the omega's stomach roll to think about, especially when he looked to Blain and knew he'd been about that age. It would be like Dom trying to sleep with him. Absolutely fucking not. “I should have told you all when he took Travis's place but I didn't think he'd let his designation run his life. But no, he just rolled over and presented for the first asshole Alpha he came across. Our boss is an omega and I think we all know I can take care of us better. Travis would want me to.”

Everyone stayed silent as they looked between her and Kells who was sitting back and holding Dom’s hand on top of the table. Eventually Rook spoke up, even raised his hand and the boss had to fight back a laugh. “Can I tell her?” He asked and Col nodded. “We know Megs. We know about boss and the baby and we like Dom.” He explained simply. “It's gross as shit you know what we do and would still talk about omegas like that.”

“Um I'm new ‘ere but wouldn't you ‘ave been the first asshole Alpha he saw? Seems like he didn't present for you.” Blain added his two cents and she glared at him. The boy wasn't wrong but the fact that she knew… he still wasn't sure who fucked who between them.

Tim spoke up next which kept Col from fully spiraling. “Travis wouldn't have touched you with a ten foot pole, he was head over heels for Collete and he loved Col like the good father he was. After all he did to keep your dad out of jail you should be more thankful. You're just lucky we don't deal with traitors like we used to. At least they might leave you with a pretty corpse.”

“I won't.” Dom growled softly and the room went quiet around them. When the Alpha stood up Kells let him. He could at least give him the respect of trusting he knew what he was doing. They'd taken a big step on trust the night before and he wanted to do better. Dom wasn't a slave to his instincts but she'd threatened his family one too many times. He knew there was a blade hidden in the boy's hand but he kept it from view and didn't even appear that threatening as he stared her down. “So you fucked Travis aye?” He hummed. She seemed confused by his change of tone but obviously tried not to show it.

“I- we wanted to. He had to act like I didn't matter but I know we wanted to.” For a moment there was almost something genuine in her voice and it made them start to wonder if she was mental.

“And because ya couldn't ya moved on to ‘is boy? Next best fing.” He asked, his tone almost conversational. Colson wasn't sure how his lover held his rage back.

“Colson and I were drawn to each other. Twin flames. He's supposed to be my omega.”

“But you fhought he were an Alpha when you took ‘im to bed?”

“Of course. I was just trying to give him birthday sex. I felt violated that he'd lied to all of us.”

“So he fucked you?”

“He was black out drunk, you really think he could get it up?”

“Course yeah. Omegas ‘ave trouble staying ‘ard anyway. Add booze-”

“Among other things.”

“Among over fings… So you topped?”

“Once I realized what he was, how could I not? What are you getting at here? Do you like hearing about his conquests? What kind of Alpha are you?”

“Oh jus' one wiv principles and a list of fings I ‘ate. You drugged and assaulted an underage omega under the old boss's protection. Armstrong, wha’ would ‘ave been done bout tha’?” Finally the Alpha flipped open his blade and even though she tried to act strong and was on the other side of the table she backed up a few steps.

“Oh-ho fuck. Before Trav made the streets a bit nicer? Castration. Alphas normally didn't live through it. Not that they'd want to.” Tim laughed, sitting back in his seat to cross his arms and enjoy the scent of her fear.

Dom didn't even seem to put effort into a jump; he just appeared to spring up onto the table. It irked Colson but watching his lover crouch with his feet flat always weirdly turned him on. That was how Dom normally blew him. “And Mr. Armstrong, wha’ about fhreatening an unborn baby of a mated omega?” The killer purred, resting the tip of his knife between his lips. Kells had to squeeze his thighs together. Why the fuck was he getting wet?

“Death.” The older beta said simply, shrugging as he watched the show play out.

“Maybe it's my child. You don't know when we last had sex. He was a mess before you showed up. I could have done anything I wanted.” She huffed.

“Aww, fanks Megs. I always ‘ope I'm good for ‘im but it's sweet of yas to say. Believe me, I know ya didn't fuck ‘im any time recent before me. I could tell. And I know tha's me baby. You should ‘ave played ya ‘and before I came around. Cause luv? He were already a badarse, I jus' made ‘im feel safe to do it as ‘imself. But I'm done playing wiv yas. By the way, did you ever guess who I was?” He asked, hopping off the table onto her side of it.

“Dominic don't play with your prey. It's unbecoming of you. At least not in front of the children.” Tom sighed, which had the Alpha throwing him a look. It was just enough time for her to reach the door.

“You'll regret this. All of you. I'm not going anywhere and you forget, I'm not the only person you fucked over recently. You boys had your chance but believe me, I can find better.” Dom moved to grab for her but Pete tried to as well and the beta fumbling at the door gave her freedom to escape.

“Stop. Let her go. Pete, send someone to follow her. She knows too many fucking people to do this in broad daylight. Fucks sake!” Colson was pissed and felt disgusting inside and out. He hated that his men knew what she did to him but none of them seemed to think any different. They all still waited on his word and looked to him with respect.

If he felt awful before he felt twenty times worse, more than anything he wanted to go home and curl up in his mate's hold. He wanted to make sure his family was safe and he wanted to forget the last hour. It hurt his heart but he knew… she couldn't live. Dom wouldn't stand for it. “Baby? You look… let's sit down yeah?” The Alpha looked worriedly at his lover and rushed around the table to his side. He helped ease his pale partner back into his seat but he wanted to take him straight to The Doctor. “I'm sorry I pushed so much. I know ya wanted to know but I should ‘ave waited. It felt like one of my kills and-”

“Shut up. I'm not upset with you dumbass. I'm tired. Exhausted really. Pissed at her and my-fucking-self.” Kells grumbled back, burying his face in his hands. He could feel his skin soaked in sweat and even his hands seemed pale. Adrenaline come-down could be a bitch. “You got caught up in the moment and you're right, I wanted to know. It's fucking sick what she did but I'm glad we know. It settles it. You're right. You're all fucking right. I have to kill her.”

“I can do it!” At least three different voices chimed in and Col knew one of them was far too young. They'd have to train their adoptive son just like Travis trained him.

“Let's not worry about it right now. ‘Ow about we go ‘ome?” Dom offered and Colson waved him off.

“Why don't you fuck off for a sec and let me piss? Unless you want to join me again so soon.” He tried to fix his anger before he hurt his mate. He knew the Alpha was just worried about him.

“While tha’ sounds lovely I fink I'll let ya go. I'll send some people to check the flat before we go. Good?” The psycho hummed, a soft smile on his face as he sat against the table and helped his partner stand.

Colson leaned forward enough to kiss him gently because he wasn't upset at him, he was pissed at the situation, he just didn't want to come off wrong. He could show affection even when enraged at something else. He had to learn to compartmentalize, especially before the baby came. He refused to be anything like his bio dad. He couldn't be the way he used to be where he ruled everything with an iron fist, even his personal life. He had to keep trusting and let people in. “Good. Thank you. Don't worry about checking the bathroom, remember before you I was still a badass.” He winked and patted the gun under his arm and got a gentle swat on his ass for using Dom’s words against him.

The Alpha watched his lover leave but he couldn't help poking his head out the door after he was gone to look around. The female Alpha’s scent was still in the air but dying down a bit. Blain came up beside him with his own blade in hand which he held tighter as he slipped out the door. “I gotta go too.” He winked and though the kid was small it reassured Dom that he cared to watch over Kells. He hoped it would be good for his mate to have a young omega around. If they helped him see the strength in what he was, maybe it could help the other man feel it.

“Dom? Can you come over here?” Mod interrupted his sentry duty and deep thought and with one last glance down the hall he turned back to head over to his roommates. They'd been acting odd all day but he wasn't sure why. He was scared he was about to find out though.

Both men looked nervously between each other and Dom but he stood by and waited for someone to speak up. Finally the beta elbowed the younger man as if whatever was about to be said should come from someone the killer would be less likely to hurt. Mod was a smart man. “What he's too much a pansy to explain and why we felt you shouldn't go after Megan tonight…” Even Tom seemed worried. It wasn't like him, he always felt safe talking to Dom.

“Yeah? Can't be worse ‘an ‘er.” He shrugged but the omega tilted his head like he wasn't so sure.

“So we realized… Megan wasn't the only one stealing from the company. Now, it may be absolutely nothing and just… Taking what's hers but we were worried about bringing this to Colson with everything else.” The photographer continued to speak without saying much.

“Collette is funneling a lot of cash somewhere. We can't track where. It could be something they've agreed on or something Travis set up but… With her being gone so much lately we were worried.” Mod finally helped out.

“We'll keep trying but we figured the easiest thing to do would be to tell you and you may ask her or Cols, whatever you believe is right.” Tom added and the Alpha nodded.

Dom wasn't actually sure how the fuck to handle something that felt so big. They were both right, it could be absolutely nothing, but it could also be catastrophic for his mate. If Col’s mother was working with Megan or hiding something huge… the man already had so much trouble trusting anyone. “Fanks I'll… I'll figure it out. Jus’ send me wha’ you got.”

The killer felt almost numb as he made his way to the door to wait for his partner to return. He couldn't bother with that right now, he had so much to focus on already. When Kells finally got back he still looked ill and it worried the boy even more. “You know, I think home actually sounds good. We can send a few ahead to check it out but I'm tired. Plus I want to check on mom. I don't know if she's sick or what.” The man sighed as he wrapped Dom in a hug and used him for physical support. After a moment he turned around to lean against the Alpha so he could text Pete and add to what he needed to do. Hopefully the beta could handle his new responsibility.

Dom sighed as he held his baby mumma close, his hands sliding under the bump to hold a little of the pressure for Col who moaned a bit louder than he meant to in relief. He almost hoped Collette was just sick or something, at least then she wouldn't be out sneaking around. The more he thought about it the more he realized he couldn't leave it alone. Killing Megan was important but their child was coming soon and more than anything but maybe him- Colson needed his mum. He just had to make sure they could still trust her. Bollocks, he was never getting to sleep again was he?

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 if anyone wants tagged let me know 🖤

I told you the plot was about to start plotting. There might be a little more smut left but we're nearing the big ending. Don't worry, I already have plans for part 2 if you're loving these boys. We have to see how they handle family time! I hope you're all still enjoying it 🩸🖤

[monbon-sidedish]

Thoughts on Geto and the dichotomy between how he's perceived and how he acts

While in the middle of a fic, I had to put some thoughts together because I use Geto as the main POV character, and I simply have a lot of thoughts about him and the way he's treated, both by Gege himself, and the fandom.

First and foremost, obviously this is a fictional character who commits entirely fictional crimes and violence and everyone is allowed to play with him, project onto him, and empathize with him in any way they prefer. That said, I get to ramble and air out some thoughts because out of all characters in JJK I feel like Geto is the most contentious and I'm never happy with how either the likers or haters address him.

I've always thought how interesting it is that Geto comes from a normal family (and I would assume comfortably middle class and based in Tokyo - so very well-off and, well-liked, with educated parents and a secure household) and is born with a power of this caliber.

Often, I feel that the fandom talks about him being repressed by non-sorcerers and jujutsu society alike, but I personally think there's a lot of parallels to be made between him and men's entitlement in a societal aspect (please don't call me a misandrist just yet, stay with me!!)

Call this a huge reach, but it's like, for one - Geto understands how rare it is to be Special Grade, and there's no way that kind of title doesn't go to your head. Especially when you learn this as a teenager and find out you're not only Super Duper Ultra Special but that there's thousands of people who come from generations with special powers that will never come even remotely close to your level, no matter how hard they try.

I believe it's mentioned in an interview (with Namakura Yuichi I think?) where it's stated Geto is first classified as Grade One and works his way up, which yes, does imply that he works for his position. But he's also momentarily put into a classification that very few other sorcerers can ever get to. Not to mention as well that his power is simply strong by design. Yes, if he has no curses, he's defenseless, but when he starts gathering a supply, the sky is the limit. And apart from the unpleasant taste and sensation, Geto is never shown to struggle obtaining any curse. He does work for his position, but he already starts at a level that for tons of others is the very top of the ceiling.

He also talks very confidently about who 'the weak' are. Which is often framed as him being Gojo's opposite in high school, being the levelheaded and kindhearted one. But to me, it seems more like being condescending rather than genuinely philanthropic. Even if, to himself, he is.

Unlike Gojo, who lashes out because he's a little air-headed and cocky, because he's a teenager that wants to slack off and isn't used to having responsibilities, Geto seems to have a savior complex.

He's the one with the powers, they're the ones who need to be saved.

And it's not like he has a lot of mercy or respect for other sorcerers either - he talks poorly about Utahime. Unintentionally, which might be worse because he both thinks he's doing her a favor but doesn't even address her directly. He treats the other curse users like annoyances, not threats, he eliminates them in much more visceral ways than Gojo does (compare the way Geto beats the living shit out of the old curse manipulator using his fists and raw physical power and the cartoony/ethereal way Gojo's fights are shown before the Toji fight). And at the first sign of non-sorcerers not being the idealized image of a helpless civilian in need of saving who will bow down and thank him for his service, he detaches completely from having any sympathy or even viewing them as human.

[I know, of course, that in the narrative, Geto's downfall is more an explanation for why he was the villain in JJK0 instead of organic character progression, but for the sake of character exploration as I see it happen, suspend your disbelief please]

So really, I think Geto has the potential to be a very believable and excellent villain, but in a completely different direction from how he's represented in canon. Not to get too dark here, but his character arc is almost incel-like. He doesn't jump into supremacy because he just has these beliefs, but there's hints that he already has biases and preconceptions about the world and his position in it. Coupled with the idea that he's never particularly struggled in his personal life, or at least isn't ever shown to, means he's never had to build the self-reflection and neutrality about the world around him.

And yes, Geto does go through a traumatic event, absolutely, but the way he grapples with it is not by addressing being lonely, or being hurt, or overworked, or having his ego-wounded, which does seem really in-line with how a lot of men lash out at the world around them for their disillusionment. Geto admits to himself that he's lonely, but he never reaches out and only isolates further, practically indulging in his own misery. Likewise, a lot of the backlash, from the fandom side, is on Gojo and Shoko for not being the ones to come to Geto and essentially save him, even though they're dealing with their own shit. Even the canon indulges in this subtly, because Gojo's own narrations and flashbacks constantly show how much he regrets losing Geto.

The whole situation is very close to a mirror of the conflict men have when it comes to dealing with rejection as opposed to a lot of women/POC/queer folk, who have to build up their own defense mechanisms, accept the possibility of rejection and how to manage yourself from a very early age. And then that whole thing leads to a state of arrested development and resentment of the world.

To that end, and this is one of the most terminally online things I have ever written down, I feel a very jarring disagreement with all the takes about Geto being a maternal and feminine-coded character. There's nothing wrong with wanting that characterization, naturally, people can do what they want.

But the more I think about Geto and see the way the narratives treats his character, I can't help but feel there's nothing feminine about it. The way Gege writes and treats female characters by and large lacks the mercy and ambiguity Geto receives. The women in JJK are killed, defeated and humiliated, usually with their only purpose in the narrative being helping a man or making a man feel sad, and they're almost never brought up again once they're out of the narrative.

Riko is not her own character - she's a plot device. Her death is mentioned to be pivotal to both Gojo and Geto, but she's never mentioned and never considered. She's basically an afterthought that makes Geto's tragedy sadder.

Geto and his impact on Gojo come back, again and again, without a single mention of what a horrible person he really was and how many people he ended up hurting. Yuuta, who personally saw Geto's cruelty in demeaning Maki and nearly killing her, wants to give him a mercy death. Gojo never moves on from him, even though the very last words Geto shared with him were how much he hated non-sorcerers and how little remose he has for being who he is. Maki, on the other hand, never gets any narrative fulfillment against Geto or Kenjaku (sure, she has an arc where she gets to be a powerhouse and beats Naoya, but we never even get input from her about Geto when she is the one that has arguable been the most hurt by him from the main cast).

So bottom line, I do think Geto is really fascinating, and I think he's just, interesting to extrapolate from. Frankly, to me, the worse he's admitted to be, the worse he acts and the more hated he is, the better he shines as a character. I got pretty much everything out that I wanted to say with that, if I was in a sitcom I'd be lighting my post-coital cigarette right about now.

[regalstudies]

Japanese Movie Recommendations!

こんにちは皆さん！今日、特別な順序ではなく５本の好きな映画を紹介したいです。

Hi everyone! Today I’d like to introduce you to 5 of my favourite Japanese movies! My personal tastes lean more towards the horror and anime side of things, but I hope there are some here that you guys haven’t seen! Cinema can be a great avenue to delve deeper social commentaries about the country we’re interested in learning about, so I’ve tried to pick some recommendations with that in mind! :]  

I’ve attempted to add all relevant content warnings, but there may be something I have missed so please take caution! I’d recommend having a look at what people say on DoesTheDogDie.com if you have specific concerns

Without further ado, let’s get started!

1.  Confessions (告白) directed by Tetsuya Nakashima (中島哲也)  

Confessions is a 2010 psychological thriller based off of the mystery novel of the same name. It follows the aftermath of the murder of a school teacher’s daughter by her pupils, who utilise Japan’s laws on age of criminal responsibility to “get away with it” and focuses on the differing perspectives of those involved. This film explores themes of revenge, familial values and expectations, and the normalization of violence in youth. This film is unmistakably heavy, but it is powerful.

This was introduced to me by my professor when I was doing a Japanese Film course in Uni, and it has stuck with me for YEARS. Not only is the story itself poignant, it’s brilliantly acted, beautifully shot, and has so many striking visuals with artistically composed scenes. As this was a fairly successful film,  there are a fair few articles analysing its themes - if anyone is interested, I can try and dig up the resources we used when we studied this in class! :]

Content warnings: depictions and mentions of mental and physical abuse, violence towards children, violence committed by children, bullying mentions of animal death, attempted suicide, murder, mentions of chronic illness (AIDs and cancer in particular)

2.  The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (かぐや姫の物語) directed by Isao Takahata (高畑 勲)

A retelling of famous folktale Taketori Monogatari (竹取物語) for modern Japanese audiences, The Tale of the Princess Kaguya brings new life to the classic story without sacrificing any of its heart. Takahata cited his own inability to connect to the original tale as inspiration for the retelling, aiming for something which the audience could connect to emotionally and really understand the titular princess. 

The film deals with feminist concerns about the restrictions of womanhood (especially in the ambiguously Heian-era Japan), familial obligation, love, and the beauty of life. It’s a cultural adventure which I would recommend to anyone regardless of their familiarity with the tale it is adapting! Honestly, I’ve written essays about  Taketori Monogatari and this film still managed to move me to tears with how beautifully and painstakingly rendered it is! I’d need a whole other post to detail just how much I appreciate the /art/ of this piece.

Content warnings: animal death, suggestion of sexual assault, arranged marriage, memory loss

3. Dark Water (仄暗い水の底から) directed by Hideo Nakata (中田 秀夫)

This 2002 horror movie is a sad ghost story! It follows the story of a single mother trying to get through her life while dealing with her divorce proceedings, new slightly-run-down apartment, and the paranormal occurrences haunting herself and her daughter. This movie deals with familial issues, parental sacrifice and confronting trauma.

Dark Water deals with aspects of Japanese horror which fans of Ringu (coincidentally, also directed by Nakata) may recognize, so I’d definitely recommend fans of Ringu and people wanting to explore the way that different cultures portray horror to give this one a shot. I found this one so fun to analyse  recurring themes and imagery in Japanese horror, and I’m more than happy to encourage others to fall down this rabbit hole too!

Content warnings: missing children, death (including that of a child), threat of death, drowning, abandonment, divorce

4.  The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (時をかける少女) directed by  Makoto Shinkai (新海 誠)

This 2006 sci-fi romance tells the story of a high-school girl who discovered that she has the ability to travel through time! Dealing with friendship, the pressures of growing up and romance, this movie integrates slice-of-life and coming of age themes into its sci-fi setting! Its your classic tale of fairly innocent time-travel shenanigans and trying to right some wrongs, and makes the the ultimate heartwarming story! 

This one used to be pretty popular amongst anime fans a gooood few years back, but I haven’t seen people talk about it in a while and I wanted to mention it just in case it had fallen off the radar!  With simple yet fluid character designs and beautiful scenery, this piece manages to portray grounded teenage characters and capture that warm summer feeling throughout.

Content warnings: threat of death, train accidents, minor violence and name calling

5.  Tokyo Sonata (トウキョウソナタ) directed by  Kiyoshi Kurosawa (黒沢 清)

This 2008 drama follows the disintegration of a middle-class family after the patriarch loses his comfortable salaryman job unexpectedly. This film tackles issues faced by many modern families as the sense of traditionalism and societal normalcy becomes strained under the pressures of expectation, unemployment, and inability to communicate your authentic self to your family.

This film is an incredibly grounded drama, depicting real issues faced by so many families. Take a look at the date on this film, and you’ll realise how true-to-home this story of societal and economic uncertainty is for so many. Despite it all, what seems on the surface to be a depressing story of a family at their worst, actually displays a message of hope throughout. I find it to be a very realistic and poignant film.

Content warnings: unemployment, financial struggle, communication issues, war, military, abuse, domestic violence, crime, robbery, kidnapping, themes of suicide and depression, sexual assault, car accidents, police presence 

Bonus!  Gohatto (御法度) directed by Nagisa Ōshima (大島 渚)

This one was recommended by my flatmate for this list, as a quick shoutout because “its very good” so I don’t personally have much to say about it - but I’m never going to complain about a recommendation for a gay samurai film. :]

それで、おすすめを終わります！

Thank you all for reading through this list! If you have any recommendations of your own, please feel free to add them on!

[krenenbaker]

Pomefiore Character Songs and Associations

Finally getting this part posted! since Tumblr ate my post the first time... I love this website ((:

We now move onto the most historical dorm - Pomefiore. The three characters here are some of the most dramatic, all in different ways from each other. But what music may connect with the three most tenacious people on campus?

Notes: Every song is from my liked songs playlist (so feel free to judge me for my taste, haha!) and I only allowed myself to use an artist once for this project. There is also some strong language and mature themes in some of the songs, so be aware if you choose to listen to them. I’ve included: - A song that represents them - A song they’d listen to - and (for some) an additional song, depending on the character and circumstance

The full Spotify playlist for ALL songs and characters is linked at the end of the post.

Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Ignihyde | Diasomnia

Vil Schoenheit

Represented by: Rock Me, Amadeus - Falco

I was a little apprehensive about using this song for Vil. While it does fit his character and vibes, it is a little bit... suggestive. Putting that aside, Vil is (at least most of) this song. He's a superstar, popular, dramatic ("has flair!"), and everyone finds him to be beautiful and perfect, despite his flaws. And he does have flaws, which he doesn't want to address. I also headcanon that he has Austrian / German ancestry (or whatever the Twisted Wonderland equivalent is).

Listens to: Jackie and Wilson - Hozier

Again, I don't know why, but I believe Vil would listen to Hozier.  Vil would probably like the atmosphere created in Hozier's music.  And he'd appreciate Hozier's vocal tone and colour. I can't explain it further, but I think he'd really, really like it!

Epel Felmier

Represented by: Autotheist - Baby Bugs

Epel has some struggles with who he is. He's trying to figure out who he is within his personality, appearance, and identity. He feels a lot of pressures from others trying to shape who he is, how he looks, how he acts, and what he thinks. He's trying to find a place for himself, and he is angry about not having found it yet.

Listens to: That Turbulent Uneasy Feeling - D.O.A.

Epel would like fast-paced, aggressive music, that he can just feel. I think he would especially enjoy songs that criticize the mainstream social norms that he feels stifled by - hardcore punk would be his go-to genre. I can imagine him listening to this in his room after fighting with Vil... again. This song also represents his character well, actually!

Rook Hunt

Represented by: Prince Charming - Adam & the Ants

Rook is flamboyant. He is theatrical. And he, above almost all else, supports others in becoming their most beautiful selves. As such, the message of the song reflects Rook's motivations and thoughts. Additionally, the theatricality and subtle notes of violence of the group mirrors Rook's character beautifully. (Rook would also without a doubt listen to this, and other songs by Adam and the Ants. He is simply too dramatic not to!)

Listens to: Goodbye & Hello - Tim Buckley

Rook would simply adore the poetry of this song, and in fact, most of Tim Buckley's music. He would spend time listening, absorbing, and analyzing the lyrics, music, and history of the song. It also has an almost... historical, European-esque(?) feel to the instrumentation and musical lines that would highly appeal to him.

Bonus - Also listens to: All I Ask of You (Phantom of the Opera)

One of Rook's hobbies is going to theatre productions, and he would have just loved the grandeur and the tragedy and the heart of The Phantom of the Opera. I'm certain that he would consider "All I ask of You" to be an absolutely beautiful declaration of love and commitment, and would likely be one of his favourite musical theatre pieces.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Good Omens 2 Episode 5: Pride and Prejudice and demons (and a guardian angel)

I’m not sure I have anything insightful to say about this episode, as I’m mostly giddy about it. Crowley is the main character in this episode, faced with a series of moments that force him to process things and make decisions.

Ironically, Aziraphale is busy with organizing his Jane Austen soirée, serenely inside his comfort zone, having to deal with absolutely like-minded people - shop owners like him, people he can bribe with rare books he owns (i.e. people whose tastes and interests he perfectly understands), queer people.

But his evening goes to hell - literally - and Crowley’s evening goes to heaven. Which is pretty much the same thing, albeit opposite.

I imagine that, just as this episode was about Crowley processing some feelings and taking a huge decision, the next episode will be about Aziraphale processing some feelings and taking a huge decision.

I will never stop vibrating with the love I have for Crowley, who cares so much and is so nice but he’ll tell everyone he’s not (I caught the moment when he calls himself neither nice or a lad, Neil Gaiman) because he doesn’t think he deserves to be.

It took him so long to accept that he deserves to call Aziraphale his best friend! It took him so long to accept he deserves Aziraphale’s friendship! He who has so much love in him. Fans have imagined what Crowley’s feelings about Gabriel telling “Aziraphale” to shut up and die would be, and now that has made the text, and it’s exactly what we expected.

I love how Crowley is framed as Aziraphale’s... guardian angel. Not just in this episode, of course, but this episode makes very deliberate choices in how Crowley is positioned in the frames when the two of them visit the shops, and of course there’s the scene where he confronts Gabriel, and then his decision to literally go to heaven to save the day. Crowley has been Aziraphale’s guardian angel ever since they were both angels and Crowley shielded Aziraphale from the sun with his wing, and becoming a demon never changed that... in fact he made him a better protector for Aziraphale.

A guardian angel that Aziraphale doesn’t really need (he can make his own plans!) but Crowley wants to be, and Aziraphale loves that Crowley loves to do it. The line “But rescuing me makes him so happy” will live forever printed in my brain.

Crowley’s character resolution will be allowing himself to acknowledge he can and is what he denies himself to be and do. He says we don’t dance, but then he dances, as Aziraphale pulls him into the ball. He says he’s not nice, but he is all the fucking time, trying to hide it with his grumpy esterior and failing at it as soon as people get to know him a little.

And Aziraphale... personally, I hope he gets to commit at least one act of extreme violence before the end of the story. As a treat.

[coolclaytony-2]

Crooked Cop

It is of little surprise to many that police officers are uniquely vulnerable to dark taint. They often blindly walk into tainted places with the intention of committing sin upon the innocent and malicious alike, with their government's approval of course. To say nothing of the cops who regularly commit full-fledged felonies and leverage their authority or that of their superiors to sweep their transgressions under the rug. But while mundane cops can be exceptionally awful people, a darkened cop is a different breed all together. Indeed, nearly every police force in the world has at least one clique of Crooked Cops who are banded together by a mission to indulge their most despicable desires with the iron fist of the law on their side. Crooked Cops are instinctually driven to abuse their authority in ways that will undermine the ability of untainted officers to make legitimate arrests against other darkened and to interfere in investigations that would expose Darkspawn and cult activity. Of course, like any organized effort by agents of the Outer Darkness, ultimately any group of Crooked Cops will fall apart over time if a Mnemosyne or Cataphract does not eventually take charge.

Type: Darkened

Attributes: Composure 2, Manipulation 2, Presence 3, Intelligence 2, Resolve 2, Wits 2, Dexterity 3, Stamina 2, Strength 3

Skills: Athletics 2, Brawl 2, Drive 2, Firearms 2 (Handguns), Larceny 1, Stealth 1, Weaponry 1, Animal Ken 1, Persuasion 1, Socialize 1, Streetwise 2 (Gangs), Subterfuge 2, Computer 1, Investigation 1, Occult 1, Politics 1 (Laws)

Derived Traits: Health 7, Willpower 4, Size 5, Speed 14, Initiative 5, Defense 4

Equipment: Kevlar Armor, Lt. Pistol, Sap

Integrity: 4 (Assault)

Vice: Wrath — A Crooked Cop often joins the force because he wants the legal freedom to inflict violence on acceptable targets.

Virtue: Loyalty — Crooked Cops barely respect the law, much less any pretenses of morality. But their twisted loyalty to eachother and the police institution is often absolute.

Merits: Danger Sense, Fleet of Foot 3, Small Unit Tactics

Umbrae: Cruel Confidence, Grip Onto Your Fear, Taste of Sin

Caligines: I Have You Now My Pretty, Liar's Heart, Shadowbolt 1, Zombie's Flesh 1

—————

Been a while since I've posted on this blog.

Edit: I had just discovered that the number of integrity triggers that get ignored by Darkened determine how close they are to becoming a Mnemosyne relative. This required me to either increase the Crooked Cop's resolve or increase it's Integrity at the cost of how many acts of evil it can get away with doing. I settled for the latter.

[carnivorousyandeere]

SFW Alphabet: Elena

CW: death mentions, suicide mentions, violence

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Elena is very affectionate and flirtatious. She likes flirting with you and flustering you, and definitely likes to be holding hands or holding onto you someway at all times.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Elena is really cool. If you’re willing, she loves bringing you with her to parties and concerts, and other high-energy events. If you’re not into the night life and going out too much, she enjoys staying in and watching movies just as well tho she might lay down on you and pretend to be asleep. Either way she also loves showing you projects she’s working on and will do her utmost to convince you to go dirt biking with her.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Elena adores cuddles! She likes holding you and being held~ especially when she’s holding you, she loooves dragging her sharp nails over your skin and making you shiver.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Elena is not the most domestically-minded, but she’s alright at cleaning! Her restoration projects would be difficult to pull off if her place wasn’t clean. She isn’t the best at cooking; she doesn’t really see the point in cooking since she can’t eat it… any meat she cooks ends up underdone. She might make an effort to cook something delicious for you but might also spit in it. Not to be mean to you, but because she likes the idea of you eating her vampire venom…

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

“Awww, sweetheart… don’t struggle so hard. This is gonna hurt me more than it’ll hurt you…”

She’ll turn you into a thrall, keeping you under her influence forcibly. She hates the way your personality dwindles under her influence, but if it keeps you from leaving, then… it’s worth it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Ohhh she wants to elope immediately! Loves the idea of starting a new life with you, and running around like Bonnie and Clyde 😏

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Elena is very bubbly and energetic, and can lose track of how much force she uses, but she’ll never intentionally injure you physically (at least not severely). Emotionally is another story. She’ll stay sweet and cute with you as long as that works to keep you around, but she’s willing to resort to manipulation and negging too.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

She loves hugs and hugs you all the time! Every time she sees you she’ll act like it’s been decades, bounding up to you and almost tackle-hugging you, rubbing her cheek against you like a cat. Her hugs are tight and warm 💕

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

She says it pretty early on and “casually,” saying it as “a friend,” to gauge your reaction. When you don’t push her away over it, she just says it more often and more seriously. No shame in her game.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Elena gets furiouslyyyy jealous. She has a penchant for hunting down anybody who gets between you and toying with them before ripping their throats out. She also likes the good ‘ol bat to the kneecaps move. Enjoys the cronch 😌

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Her kisses are warm, wet, and intense. It’s almost like she’s trying to devour you, but really she can smell and taste how you’re feeling and it drives her wiiiild. She loves kissing you on your neck and shoulders for obvious reasons, but also on your thighs.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Elena is definitely the fun, cool aunt type! Kids have a blast hanging out with her and she keeps them safe, but she’s probably not the best influence haha

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

You’ll often wake up to her holding you, and she’s always already awake. She lovessss cuddling with you and nuzzling you, and if you try to get up she’ll whine and pull you back in 🥺

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Partying~! With or without you, she’s gotta feed sometime. Though obviously she prefers for you to be around where she can keep an eye on you. Otherwise, with Elena, it’s just more cuddling. And some extra intense flirting when she’s buzzed~

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Elena’s pretty damn open about everything, except for the vampirism. And killing people. She’ll try to hide both of those facts for as long as possible to avoid scaring you off before you’re dependent on her.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Elena is pretty easily angered; not with you, but anyone else is fair game. Her anger generally passes as quickly as it ignites though.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Elena remembers everything, of course! You’re just so interesting, how could she possibly let anything about you slip through the cracks of her mind? That being said, sometimes she will play dumb just to see you pout or give you a surprise~

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Definitely the first time you said that you loved her back~! She was content, or she thought she was, just smelling the affection wafting from you… but when she said it, and you said it back, Elena felt like her damned soul had ascended and been blessed by the light of the pearly gates. She’ll literally roll around her bed blushing and kicking her feet just thinking about it to this day 💞

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

She’s super protective— you’re so delicate, being a mortal and all, she just has to make sure you’re safe! You won’t necessarily see it, though. She’ll get you to safety before disposing of the threat. Permanently.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

She goes ALL OUT for anniversaries and dates. Super cute, super romantic, super fun~! Think of all the candies and cute little gifts she picks out just for you~! And the rose petals on your bed—

Anyway! Everyday tasks get the least effort; Elena is a busy gal after all. Things to do, people to drain. Y’know. But if you complain she’ll put in some more effort then.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Elena is a flirtatious person and will flirt with a lot of people to get what she wants, but if you flirt with anyone but her she gets pissy about it lol

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

She loves being well-put-together and attractive, and puts a lot of time into her clothes, hair, and makeup~

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Of course, sweetheart! It’s hard for a vampire to die but if that’s what she has to do to be with you, she’ll figure out how to make it happen.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Elena loves just pressing kisses all over you when you cuddle, tasting your contentment, happiness, desire… enjoying the smell of your blood immensely. All of your feelings smell interesting to her. The one that makes her the hungriest, though, is fear… try to ignore the hungry look in her eye when you watch horror movies together.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

It’s not a “dislike” or “dealbreaker” to Elena, but if you’re really shy and unconfident it breaks her heart a little bit… why can’t you see how great you are the way she does?

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Being a vampire, Elena doesn’t need to sleep very often, if at all. Feel like I gotta say this, she does not sleep in a coffin. Although she does have a fuzzy blanket with little coffins printed on it because she thinks it’s funny.

[justanotherfanfolks]

Twisted Wonderland Main Story Scattered Thoughts (Prologue Chapter 17-20)

Okay, so I lied yesterday. You know, like a liar. I really did want to do it first thing in the morning, but you know L I F E had other plans. Did a cool thing today, so that was fun! Now back to the TWST! Is Grim acting as bait? Monster is ready to commit a violence. No, Yuu you can’t be scared! You have a little thing I like to call “Main Character Shield” in which you are not allowed to die. Monster: Be gone, THO- Okay I’ll stop. OMG THE OG DUO MAGIC! Grim and Ace being a power duo, love to see it! Cauldron? Cauldron time? I love cauldron time, Deuce please! YES CAULDRON TIME! Deuce and Cauldron, the best duo ever, move over Ace! Grim, no, no starting up beef! Run run run run runrunrun… IT’S SO PRETTY! That stone is so pretty oh my gosh I want! Something heavier? Yeah, like, TWO cauldrons! YES YES YES HE ACTUALLY DID! CAULDRON SPAM! ALL THE CAULDRONS! Beautiful Deuce, beautiful. DON’T BE MEAN ACE! You could never appreciate the majesty of the cauldron! 

Battle! It pushed off all those cauldrons?! Wow, the dedication. I wonder why it wants the stone so bad? “Then it’s kill or be killed!” Dang Yuu! You know, it occurs to me Grim has been spamming magic left and right and hasn’t gotten a magestone yet… You good buddy? Your blot levels doing okay? Ah, the unlimited turn battle! Those, uh, scared me when I first saw them in an event. Oh, and being able to see the card details mid-battle. OH, I went through half of Phantom Bride not knowing that, it was such a surprise. Wait. Wait. WAIT HANG ON! You can see the enemies spells’ owners?! THIS WHOLE TIME?! I’m gonna cry, that’s a thing?! The strategies I could’ve had in room battles… I had no idea you could see who each spell belonged to. 1000 HP. A’ight, bet. Done. THEY LIVE! Good job sirs, it’s only gonna get worse from here! Aw, they’re so CUTE! Yuu: This smells like friendship. Ok, what is the deal with NRC being so afraid of the F word (friend)? Only Kalim and Silver seem to not be afraid of using the word towards anyone. Ooooo! Okay, so I just found out when you go back in the log for the main story you can hear the dialogue too! That’s nice! Ace considers friendship cliche, um Endless Halloween would like to know your location. Ace: Lessons were learned, et cetera. Heh. Oh my gosh, Grim have you eaten at all today? Black stone… IT WAS AN OVERBLOT MONSTER! I thought it was but the dudes never made that connection so I didn’t think so. I THINK SO AGAIN NOW! I wonder if that was the reason behind the magestone addiction. Someone, put a stone in front of the overblotters’ blot monsters. Oh wait. Oh no, Grim. No. Don’t do it. It smells good? Candy? CANDY? Don’t you dare compare candy to whatever that is. HE ATE IT NOOOOO! And thus starts his addiction to eating random black stones from off the ground. “Spit it out! Out! Bad cat!” I love Yuu, already such a cat owner! So Grim likes the taste of flowers? He should go out with Ruggie sometime so they can eat edible weeds together. Most humans. Emphasis on the most, I can think of at least one human at this school who would in fact eat random stuff they find on the floor. You know, I’m still curious if Riddle and Trey know what Ace and Deuce are doing. 

CROWLEY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! Did they actually do it, bruh it was your idea! It’s giving Trey, it’s giving Trey. He was so ready for expulsion time. “And here I spent all evening preparing your expulsion documents” he sounds disappointed. Wow, again, what a headmage. Ace, you worked together. Suck it up, teamwork makes the dreamwork, accept it. Deuce, you too! …why’s he crying? Oh he’s really crying! “At his age” why would that age be. He’s still got ??? in his bio there. Wait, is he crying because he thinks they’re lying? HE’S CRYING BECAUSE OF TEAMWORK! OH MY GOSH! That’s hilarious, they’re teamwork moved him to tears, I love that. Join hands, boys, you have unlocked friendship! Ace asking the real questions, spill the age, headmage! Hang on, does the “beast” in Beastmaster Yuu also cover the NRC boys? Priceless. Great pride and big egos, ah lack of cooperation skills. Wait, do Kalim and Silver get included in this? I know Kalim’s admission was paid for, but Silver? I’m confused by them being at this school. OOOOOOHHHH, LET’S GO YUUUUUUU! Student time, student time! Shush Yuu, don’t remind him about the magic thing! Grim proved himself! Aww, good for him! Let’s go, Ramshackle Duo! Together they make a whole chaotic mess- I mean student. Aw, Grim’s so happy! The Janitor Era was so short lived. It was like, oh my gosh all of this happened in one day. YES PLEASE CROWLEY! Grim looks so wrong without the magestone, put it on him! “Too kind” impossible. Actually impossible. His little song! Yuu entering the Prefect Era. What… is a Prefect anyway? I read books with prefects, still don’t get the whole idea. Yuu’s Prefect now to them. My spellcheck doesn’t like the word prefect. Crowley, that was sus. Stop it with the child labor. Stop it, get some help. Like, adult help. THE GHOST CAMERA! No but “camera?” Yuu, you’re getting hung up on the wrong thing here. Okay, judging by the fact Crowley said “I would hardly consider them “super old””, implying he takes offense at the comment, the camera is from his era. That’s like when people call flip phones old in front of millennials. Hm, so like 100-150 years old then? Soul? Yes Deuce, that does sound sketchy, I agree. Memories with a capital M. Living pictures! “Soulbond” good question Yuu. Wicked…keen? I’m curious, why does Yuu need to take the pictures? What’s the reason? 

Oooooo, last Chapter! Oh wait wait wait! Okay, so at the end of every book the next dorm gets teased, right? Are they gonna tease Heartslabyul? Grim’s so happy! “Sentient pile of lint” Ace! That got a laugh out of me actually. Wait, do Ace and Deuce know that they share a room? “Those two seem like they’re made for each other” the most iconic TWST duo. Oh, I guess they’re not teasing it. Hm? OOOOOOO! AHHHHHH THE OPENING OP! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH! I LOVE THAT OPENING SO MUCH! I was so shocked to see it, I’m grinning like an idiot YES! That thing single-handedly put TWST on my radar, it means a lot to me!

And the Prologue is done! Yay! Now I get to start Book 1! Heartslabyul, here I come!

[nowisthewinter]

The Wendigo and the Norse

In every legend there is usually a grain of truth. Something that started off as fact but then was wrapped over and over again in fancy and fantastical ribbons of fiction until it became legend.

I think this is the story of the Wendigo. My theory is the legend of the Wendigo has its seeds of the time the Norse met Native Americans and the disaster that came from that. 

Let’s start off with the Algonquian legend of the Wendigo. It’s not like what you see in Hannibal. There are no stags. Nothing deer-like at all. A Wendigo begins as a man who commits the act of cannibalism. And through that act, he is cursed. It changes him. He grows a never ending hunger for even more human flesh and blood. He becomes stronger. More savage. His violence has no limits. A mixture of man and beast. Pale and gaunt. Like walking death, gluttony and rage. 

From the books I’ve read as a kid this was a metaphor for human greed. People now associate the Wendigo with famine and the harsh North American winters that can lead to famine during dire times. And still in other stories, the Wendigo is a metaphor for Death, itself. 

But give me a moment and let’s look at the Norse in North America. We only know that the Norse were in North America from two things, Europeans who said that, hey, some Norse went West and the fact that we have found Norse artifacts in North America. However, we don’t have any Algonquian stories of them meeting each other despite the artifacts pointing that they could have indeed possibly have met. Given that the Algonquian nation didn’t have a written language at the time of the initial meeting and everything was passed down through oral tradition, this makes partial sense. Partial only because you would think they would have at least some legends of meeting pale people with hair and eye color that would be unlike their own. 

And that’s what has me thinking. The legend of the Wendigo declares the creature to be a mixture of man and beast. Now if I were an Algonquian and saw a red headed man with a bushy red beard and hazel eyes for the first time in my life when up until then I had never saw anyone else remotely looking like him and I grew up on tales of shapeshifters and magic I would think, “Is that a fox or a man? Or a man-fox? A beast-man?” Blond hair? My brain goes to the hide of a deer. Blue eyes? A bobcat kitten. Sandy brown hair? Wolf’s fur. 

And there is the skin of these strangers. Pale. Corpse pale. Pale as Death, itself. 

These strangers are pale and beast like. 

Now what do they want? Everything they can get their hands on and they are willing to destroy everything in their path to get it. 

Mind you, when you think of the Norse, you think of pagan Vikings. Raiders who pray to Odin and Thor. But in this case, these invaders would have been Christian by then. Converted by almost a hundred years. So, while trying to take everything that isn’t nailed down, they would also be trying to convert the Native Americans to Catholicism. And more importantly, they would bring the ritual of Mass with them. 

Now how do you prove you are a Catholic at Mass? Why by symbolically eating “the body” and “the blood” of Christ, of course. 

To a non-Catholic with no contextual clue of any of the Abrahamic religions, Catholic Mass would seem to be asking its converts to commit cannibalism. 

That if you eat flesh and blood, you become one of them.

So, here you have the Native Americans coming face to face with these violent thieving invaders who only want more and more and more, who look partially like the animals around them, are as pale as corpses and are trying convert you into their foreign religion by making you eat the body and blood of their god. And that’s all it takes, just one taste of the body and blood and you are one of them. 

Now doesn’t that sound like a Wendigo? 

And if that isn’t enough to make a case, let’s look at the name itself, “Wendigo.” No one knows the exact origin of the name. Some people believe it stems from a Proto-Algonquian word for “owl.” But there is nothing owl related in any of the tales about the creature. 

So, what if the name isn’t Proto-Algonquian at all. What if it is a different language that the Native Americans picked up from the invaders? And that language?

Latin. 

What if “Wendigo” started off as a Latin phrase that these Catholics would have been saying over and over again but since the Native Americans had never heard of a single word of Latin beforehand, ended up butchering the original phrase through a game a telephone until we ended up with “Wendigo?” Now what would that Catholic Latin phrase be?

“In Christo,” which translates to, “In Christ.”

Go on. Say the phase out loud and compare it to “Wendigo.” You can hear the similarities. So, imagine yourself a Native American hearing this phrase over and over again as these invaders try to convert you. So much so that you start to use this phrase as a moniker for these strangers. The “In Christo.” You pass the story of them to other nations in warning but those other nations don’t understand what you are saying and name transforms to something more familiar, “Wendigo.” Ah, yes, you know that word. That makes sense. 

Don’t eat flesh. Don’t drink blood. Or else you will become a savage Wendigo. 

And this is my theory on how the legend of the Wendigo started off as a warning against the Catholic Norse. 

[dionysus-philosophy]

I'm basically screaming out to the void on this one. This is technically a vent where I accept criticisms and advice.

TW/CW: Mentions of abuse, violence, manipulation, general relationship conflict, mentions of suicide attempt and suicide in general, self harm, slurs, overdose, threats, mentions of ejaculation, sexual topics and acts, substance abuse, mild cussing, generally triggering content

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Do not read if any of these topics trigger you!

My partner and I are polyamorous and we have been together for over 5 years. I have no partners (by choice because Im focusing on my self-growth) at the moment, and my partner has a few. One of them lives with us. It started under weird circumstances last summer that led to us inviting him to come live with us because he lived in a homeless shelter and was getting aggressive with other people. Whether you believe in the metaphysical or not, I have always had a tried and true intuition that was telling me that maybe we shouldn't allow him to live with us, but I can't argue that he shouldn't have housing because of a gut feeling (even though it's never incorrect), and leaving a fellow trans person on the streets left a bad taste in my mouth, so I allowed it.

Little run down of this person: he has a laundry list of conditions, including but not limited to BPD, bipolar disorder, kleptomania, autism, hallucinations, etc. He acts like a 15 year old at 21 and can never handle conflict, regardless if he's on his meds or talking with a therapist. He will also often twist whatever happened in a conflict to make himself look like the victim if he talks with a therapist or friends (only the ones we're not friends with) and they end up giving the wrong advice as a result and it just furthers the conflict. He is absolutely addicted to weed and alcohol (most times he takes them together) to the point of willing to deal with seizures to cope with shit his meds would have helped with because he developed a sensitivity to THC for a bit. I believe his addiction to weed has influenced his brain to the point of actual concern. He is a major hypocrite and knows this. He also downplays or outright denies my disabilities, what words are slurs, and what my upbringing was like. He yelled at me that spaz was not a slur when I, someone who has been called that a lot, said that it was. He is quick to use slurs in general, especially retard, despite my boundary of not saying that around me, but gets mad if I say it, despite being on the spectrum, too. He's even denied my transness because I am not so desperate to kill myself like he has been before (even though he missed the 8 horrible years of me being trans in public school with closed-minded parents where I actually almost did commit suicide because i felt alone and like i wasnt enough), am not on testosterone, and I'm generally fine being a bit more femme, even though I've said I kind of identify with the term twink to describe myself.

To make a long story short, he has repeatedly abused my partner in every possible way. My partner has risked harm to himself to try keeping this person alive because he has consistent refused to prioritize his medications in favor of testosterone (even though he has a great voice and passes well already, which is his main concern). We have kept him from cutting, from overdosing on medication, from setting himself on fire when we took the meds away, and hiding knives before he takes them and hides them for later use against us. This person has threatened violence against my partner and I, including threatening my partner with a knife (and admitting he did so to scare him, not because he actually wanted to hurt him). The ER doctor advised us to stay at a friend's house one night. This was when he sliced his hand open when trying to take back the knife he threatened my partner with, and we had to convince him to go because he refused to initially. When we honestly told the doctor that he tried to kill himself, that he was stopped, but injured himself with the knife he threatened to kill my partner with, he said they couldn't hold him unless he had intent to actually kill himself or hurt someone else while he was there, so that if he was returned home, we should stay at a friend's house. However, this person booked it when he could and then said the only way we were finding him was as a corpse. That was enough to put him in holding when he complied when found later. He does not respect the boundaries that he agreed to. The episode that resulted in a cut hand was over whether or not my partner came in me or not (weird thing to obsess over, especially when he could have asked me because he knows I don't lie and that I hate lying). And now, because I mentioned that I felt secure in myself in not needing hookups, he has completely acted out like a child. Sure, I said that, but more out of what the conversation was about and stating a fact about myself. There was no meaning behind it, and I never meant for it to come off a certain way. He first pretended like everything was fine and then bitched to my partner for hours about what i said, including using aggressive language in regards to me. And in all of the hypotheticals and past (resolved) problems he decided to bring up, he threatened violence against me, both for himself and to see how my partner would react. My partner is discouraging any violence, but refuses to take sides because this isn't his conflict and he doesn't want his partner to think that he is picking a side (because he has threatened suicide or violence if he even thinks that my partner doesn't agree with him).

I'm exhausted.

In the year I've known him, I'm seeing actual patterns of abuse, noticing that he does these things intentionally, having my own mother and friends (both with and without similar conditions) advise that he either needs to heal and do better or my partner will have to leave him for our safety. Even my partner is thinking of ending our lease early and going as far as moving to a different part of the country, if not just finding a different apartment and ending things with this person. The friends with BPD and bipolar are HORRIFIED of all the stuff they've either witnessed or heard me tell them. I wish I trusted my gut feeling more to set my foot down and I am angry every single day that my partner has to deal with this BS and there's nothing I can do to help him (at least not in a way that is actually productive). I try to be understanding of his conditions, and I know that especially with BPD, what looks like manipulation and abuse are often just trauma responses that they need help managing, but it's becoming too much. I'm tired of the abuse, the lying, the manipulation. I'm so fucking tired. My partner put himself in massive amounts of debt to find a better place after getting screwed over by a different landlord and has never asked this person for any repayment. He has even offered to pay for this person's entire trip back to his original state to stay with a friend because he will often act like he's breaking up with my partner, but when my partner does everything to try and accommodate his feelings and take on every moving cost to keep him from attempting suicide once he's settled, he'll turn it around and act as if my partner is trying to break up with him.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm done with the mind games, I'm tired of seeing my partner be spent to his last thread trying to help this person only for all our efforts to be in vain because he cannot do the bare minimum when we give him so many opportunities to go to therapy, get back on his meds, and better cope with his conditions. I try to remind myself that when he is doing these things, it's not what he truly thinks or wants to do, but we can't keep doing this especially when he has admitted to doing abusive things intentionally, and my partner refuses to prioritize his well-being. All abuse resources often give advice relating to "average" people and none for when a person's mental problems are worse than just depression. Does anyone know what to do? I'm at my wits end here, and I'm genuinely lost.

[holylulusworld]

Blood Rush (2) – Nightly activities

Summary: You are no one to mess with. And you hate vampires.

Pairing: Eric Northman x FBIAgent!Reader

Warnings: language, the reader hate vampires, talk about crimes/criminals, cocky Eric, tension, enemies to lovers trope, implied torture, implied character’s death, mentions of past attempted murder/violence against the reader

A/N: Here we go with a mini-series about my fav vampire.

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

Part 2/?

<< Part 1

“Come on, do something illegal already,” you whisper to yourself. Your newest hobby is to watch Eric Northman stroll through town to do...well nothing. You had hoped the blood sucker would commit a crime getting him arrested.

No such luck.

“How about you have a taste of that girl, huh?” while Eric talks to some girl, you press the stake you made to your chest, waiting for your chance. “She looks ready to get eaten. Just try to attack her and I can—”

He’s suddenly gone. Seconds ago, he was talking to the girl, and now he just disappeared. 

“Evening, princess,” he chuckles behind you. You must look like a lunatic to him. Hiding behind a bush, a stake pressed to your chest you cower in the dirt to watch people. “A wonderful night, isn’t it?” 

“What do you want, sucker?” you act as if you didn’t stalk him for the better of a month. “I’m working here.”

“I can see that,” amusement evident in his voice Eric crouches down next to you to watch the girl he was talking to from afar. “What did the poor girl do?”

“That’s none of your business,” you reply. He doesn’t need to know that you were watching him all this time. “Now get out of my sight before I arrest you.”

“What for, princess?” he turns his head to look at you. “I do the same you do. I hide behind the bush. Minus the poorly carved stake in your hands.”

“Get lost.”

“Did you make that one only for me?” Eric coos in your ear. “I’m flattered, princess. I just don’t know if you are strong enough to ram it into my chest.”

“Don’t tempt me to do it right now,” you whip your head toward him to glare at Eric. “Just leave me alone, sucker.”

“How about you come back to my bar, and you can sit on a comfortable chair while watching me? It would be so much nicer than hiding behind a bush,” he runs his index finger along your neck. “You can have a drink and relax.”

“Your hypnosis crap won’t work on me, sucker,” that picked his interest. He furrows his brows as you slowly get up. You stretch your body, groaning as your back hurts and your shoulders are sore. “I told you; I faced worse than you and your little friends.”

“Who hurt you?” His hand moves over your back, feeling the scar you are wearing since your encounter with a real monster. “Who did this to you, princess?”

“Not a prince,” you push against his chest to get him off you, “that’s for sure.” 

You brush past Eric to get to your car. Tonight, you won’t find anything to get him arrested. He caught you red-handed and won’t take a wrong step knowing you are around.

“How about you tell me the name of the bastard giving you that scar?” he follows you toward your car, with long steps. “Princess, I want a name.”

You unlock your car, gripping the door handle. You could just drive away but you let go of the door handle to twirl around and glare at Eric. “The man giving me the scar was someone like you. A man not taking no for an answer.”

Eric gasps. He watches you get inside your car and drive away. “I’m not like that…”

It takes Eric three days, and a few favors to finally find out about the man hurting you so many years ago. 

“What do we have here?” He moves his tongue over his fangs while watching the man struggle against the chains Eric’s minions put around his prisoner’s ankles and wrists.

“A vampire?” the man gasps in surprise. “That’s a new one. Did the cops hire you to scare me?” Eric tilts his head. The man doesn’t seem to be scared or nervous. He believes this is just another trick one of your colleagues pulled to finally get him arrested. “Or was it miss FBI herself? Damn, I miss her pert ass.”

“You see, he’s not some rogue cop wanting revenge,” Pam coos. She’s sliding her fingers through the man’s hair, tugging harshly, making Eric’s prisoner gasp. “This is Eric Northman. He lived a thousand years, and you, are a mere ant to him. All he’s interested in is to find out what you did to his newest love interest.”

“My princess, Pam,” Eric crosses his arms over his chest. He nods at his minions, silently telling them to cut the man’s clothes off. “We will see how long you can keep that mouth shut.”

“What do you want to do, huh?” the man sneers. “Show me your fangs? We both know none of you will dare to touch one hair on my head.”

“I won’t touch you,” Pam chuckles as one of Eric’s men hands him a knife. “My knife will. I won’t leave any trace of my teeth on your body. I’ll simply rip you apart, limb by limb…”

“What do you mean with he disappeared? You promised me—” your voice cracks and you feel a cold shiver run down your spine. “How can he be gone? You were supposed to keep an eye on that monster.”

You close your eyes, taking deep breaths as your colleague tells you the man attacking you is gone. It’s not the first time they lost track of him. You just have to sit and wait, and have your gun close by…

“What do you want?“ you sip at your drink, ignoring that everyone at the bar seems to watch you and Eric interact.

“Princess, you should never ask a man what he wants,” Eric presses his body to yours. “A man could tell you what he wants, or just take it.”

“Sorry, I don’t do blonde and pale,” you feel his hands on your waist. He roughly squeezes your flesh, wanting you to feel his strength. “Look for some other blood bag to give you your fill of the night.”

“I want you,” he purrs in your ear. “You’ll be mine sooner than later. I know you want to be mine, princess. All you ever wanted; I’ll give it to you. Just say the words.”

“Fuck off,” you smirk to yourself as you can hear him inhale sharply. You assume no one ever said no to Eric Northman, self-declared king of his shady castle. The vampire simply goes on your nerves and you won’t hold back.

“I chained people up for less,” Eric warns. “You’re lucky I like you and your attitude. You should just learn when to shut your mouth and give in.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you turn around to glare up at the blonde vampire. He doesn’t need to know you came to his bar to feel a little safer. “You know, there are more than enough girls lusting over you. Just go over there and choose one of them, Northman. I don’t want to be yours.”

“Stop lying to yourself,” he cups your cheek, thumb brushing over your lower lip. “I can smell your need, princess. Why don’t you say yes?”

“For starters,” you push his hand away, “I hate it when you call me princess. It tells me that you don’t even remember my name.”

He sneers at your words. “But you are special to me, pri—Y/N,” this time he cups the back of your neck to force you to hold his gaze. His blue eyes drop to the pulsing vein on your neck. He licks his lips, making you shudder at the intensity of his gaze. “Say that you are mine.”

“I don’t want to be yours,” Eric’s hand drops from your neck, but he takes another step closer to you. “I’m not some furniture you can buy.”

“You are about to become my queen,” he whispers in your ear. “If only you’d admit to yourself that you are drawn to me and let me show you a whole new world.”

“Thanks, I’m liking the one we are living in,” you shove his hand away when he tries to cup your cheek. “Just leave me alone…”

“Still breathing, huh?” Eric looks down at the shell of the man he captured four days ago. The man doesn’t lift his head. He simply lies on the cold concrete in the basement, not even opening his eyes. “I think it’s time for you to say goodbye.”

“I-can’t. No more,” he whimpers as Eric crouches down to slide the dull side of his favorite knife over the man’s cheek. “Please. I’ll do all you want.”

“All the women you tortured said the same, didn’t they,” the vampire coos. “Don’t worry. You told me everything I need to know. Now you can rest in hell…”

“Hello, Y/N,” you groan as Eric fucking Northman stands in front of the door of the house you rented. “I have missed your pretty face.”

“Go home.”

“Where is the fun in that?” he leans in your doorframe, admiring you in your pajama shorts and the silky top barely hiding your stiff nipples. “It’s a nice night and I thought you don’t want to spend it alone.”

“I rented a fucking house to get rid of you,” Eric chuckles darkly as you want to slam the door in his face. “What the fuck!” You mutter as he simply blocks the door with his hand.

“Yeah, about that,” he steps inside the house, smirking down at you, “I’m the owner of the house. I bought it some weeks ago. Along with every single rentable house in this sleepily little town.”

“You did what?” slamming the door shut you follow Eric. “Get out of my house!”

“No,” he says while walking inside the living room. “Oh, you’ve got a new hobby.” Eric laughs as there are pictures of him, his bar, his minions, Pam, and everyone he knows in town pinned to a large bullet board.

“You are part of an investigation,” Eric stands in front of the board, admiring your work. “Uh-you are a suspect to me.”

“Princess, we both know you are lying,” you stand next to the vampire to look at the pictures on the board. “I found him myself, Y/N.”

“Who?” you dip your head to look up at Eric. “What do you mean?”

“The man laying hands on you,” the vampire casually says as you look up at him, mouth agape. “He withstood my knife for almost half a day.”

“What?” you splutter, feeling a little lightheaded. “What did you do, Eric?”

“I made sure he can never get close to you again,” he turns and moves his hand under your silky top; fingertips grazing the scar on your back. “That monster will never touch you again. Never.” His fangs slide out and you shudder as he leans closer to graze them over your jugular. “Not even me, princess.”

“Why did you do this?”

“I had to know what happened to you,” he retracts his fangs; fighting the urge to taste your blood. “I should’ve tortured him for much longer.”

“It was my job to capture him. Instead, I got captured,” Eric traces the scar again and closes his eyes to memorize it. “He’s a sick and impotent little man. That made him turn his hatred toward women. If he can’t have them, he wanted to make sure no one else wanted them.”

“I know everything about that monster,” Eric nips at your neck. “I just don’t get how your people let him go.”

“In my world, not a single man decides on someone’s faith. Twelve random people do,” you close your eyes and let yourself fall against his chest. “He was acquitted by the court. We couldn’t believe they let him go after he tortured five women, including myself.”

“If you let me,” the vampire purrs against your throat, “I’ll protect you from this world and keep you safe in mine.”

“Oh, sweet little vampire,” you push him off you, smirking triumphantly. “You just admitted you killed a human. I knew you’d make a mistake.” 

He laughs at your antics. “You think I killed this pathetic little man,” Eric tilts his head. He smirks darkly, baring his pearl white fangs. “I never said I killed him.”

“You said-“ you grunt. “I hate you! You frustrate me so much, you little shit! Pale bastard,” Eric slowly walks toward you, eyes holding your gaze.

“You’re mine,” he whispers while reaching out for you. “Say it, Y/N. I want to hear that you want to be mine.” His eyes drop to your neck as you stand in front of the vampire, unable to move, or find your voice.

“I-“ his fingertips graze your neck, and he feels your pulse quicken as he dips his head to press his lips to yours. 

“I want you to be mine…forever…”

>> Part 3

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