#who will be resurrected first :3
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ill probably redo this poll often. my laundry list is damning & this doesn't even include gift art/ask responses for folks... :')
"im cooking" but in the way that the kitchen is a mess, on fire, there are casualties, no survivors.
✨enjoy✨
(nawt sure if folks get a kick outta stuff like this, but I love being silly together!! secretly every post i make is an open forum. Pspspsps)
if somehow u have questions/thoughts about any of these concepts... im always ready to chat! ^-^ <3 even if I might take a moment to respond. heh. ask box open + i usually respond to reblog chains & comments, if folks are comfortable! maybe add "tumblr penpal" to ur reblog tags.. so I know I can catch ya in a net x3 Ive just been jumpscaring friendly folks thus far. Mwhehe
#does anyone else remember 'gimme the k' from like 2010s tumblr#oh yeahh u bet ur sweet bippy that i ran ask blogs as a Kid#i still see tumblr as a social blogging community platform. erm. so imma yap here ^-^;; hope thats ok#if thats not what ur here for Please PLEASE feel free to filter out 'pom yaps' tag. curate ur experience!!!#pom yaps#wip graveyard#who will be resurrected first :3#im much more comfortable sharing art than writing but i love to Scheme#dca fandom#fnaf
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Jonas: So what are your hobbies, dude?
Jude: Oh, like, I don't know. Hanging out and stuff.
Jonas: Do you play sports?
Jude: I used to do rugby. Now I run, I guess.
Jonas: If you want, you can come with me to the gym. I go, twice a week, bouldering.
Jude: Yeah, sounds okay.
Jonas: I have been going since last year. Before that, I didn't think I was so much a sporty kind of guy, but as I began to improve, I thought that someday.... [he yammers on for several minutes]
...So! If it is something you would like to do, I think it would be quite fun.
It is against the rules to do that.
Jude: That's okay.
Jonas: Are things okay?
Jude: Yeah.
#lucky boy 2011#to that one reader I have who read my old work#that is Jolene Jones <3#fun fact#my first car looked almost exactly like Jonas' haha#a 1997 toyota starlet in green with lil racing stripes on the side#she broke down in a ditch in 2021 :(#and was crushed into a cube#I'm glad she was resurrected in the sims
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guys what if during crisis core sephiroth gets turned into a half behemoth monster falin-style.
hey guys what if that happened
what if,what if hojo did that and that happened guys what then
#guys listen to me#falin touden#sephiroth ff7#ff7 fanart#ff7 crisis core#ff7 rebirth#sephiroth#ff7 remake#sephiroth fanart#ffvii#final fantasy vii#ff7#tw blood#the drawings aren't even that good 😭😭 but you guys know what I mean!!!#and for anyone who doesnt#falin is a character from dungeon meshi who got eaten by a chimera#and got resurrected by her gf via necromancy#and came back as a half chimera monster 😛😛😛😛✌️✌️#on accident lol#I might color the first Sephiroth pic later! :o#lmk if I should :3
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reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books
just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
#snap chats#the key to reading comic books isnt to read them in order or even all of them just the ones you like#until eventually someone tells you some wack as hell fact about an issue and then you go read that one#many such cases why do you think i picked up onslaught revelation. cause that fucker is back#why do you think i picked up wolverine number 3 because my beautiful wife is hammered for two pages in it#brother was just talkin to me casually bout onslaught one day and i was like NO FUCKIN WAY thats how you do it !!!!!!!!#like the first krakoa story i read technically was resurrection of magneto followed by the trial of magneto#clearly we see i had an agenda vjALKJKLAJ BUT STILL#it was STILL a really good run ... i could piece together enough of the background before then and really enjoyed it on its own#with that said tho it was very cool/funny to see crumbs Of trial of magneto in way of x#BUT NOW I HAVE LEGION OF X HAHAAAA i cant wait to properly sit and read it ..... after i get through my New Mutants issues ....#i got those a while ago but i kept putting off reading them ... oops ..... i read the first one at least#i was gonna say something but i forgot. oh no i didnt i remember thats what i love about comic books#because theres So Many and so many timelines and stories it invites a lot of community interaction#just to be like 'oh hey did you know This happened in This issue you should check it out'. thats beautiful#even if. its to talk about utter dog shit like she lies with angels BUT STILL ITS COMMUNITY !!!!! we can be lovers AND haters together <3#its why i love getting physical comics too. i mean i dont have friends or people who visit me LOL#but i like the idea of bringing up what i have and letting people borrow it. community ......
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the bg3 fanbase is funny as fuck in a bad way for primarily shipping gale, who is the most garrulous man you can imagine, with astarion, whom gale goes "uh 😐 not really looking to talk with you man" at when prompted for conversation, and not with wyll, whose party admission gets a "gale approves" and then they proceed to compliment each other 24/7.
update: i think ship wars are stupid as fuck + this is about something very different. a very notable problem not just among the general bg3 and d&d fan circles but among certain fans of this sort of fantasy genre as a whole.
#succ speaks#gale also gets approval for demanding more than apologies from astarion when meeting him. and for saying bringing him was a mistake#also disapproval for accepting astarion's apologies. and for saying you trust him. like he HATES this cunt.#whereas wyll just BEING there gets gale a 'hehe <3 yay let's help the tieflings for him'#you also get gale approval for recruiting lae'zel and karlach! literally for just doing that!! astarion is the only one who DOESN'T#the baldur's gate 3 fanbase has such the fandom first-two-whiteboys shipping brain rot spell on them plus an ignore wyll at all costs curse#get well soon like honestly this is so sad and hasn't let up since ea#which is obvious in the way the writers treated astarion with notable favor and ignored will in story development since ea#anyways. gale is super funny about being annoying so i love him for it. he's like me in that way i think. his dumbass resurrection ritual.#idk the way wyll has clear story parallels with EVERY origin character (+ halsin!) and isn't even on the ship podium is a bit hashtag irkin#i've gone into depth about that with some real life besties but that'd be like. another post or a long addition to this one.#ugh.#balding gay tree
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Babygirl I have 38 thousand words of incomplete trigun fic spread across 8 wips and have no idea how to even start dealing with it
#this is an actual request for help#there are two im happy just to ditch entirely#3 that are p much written in complete sentences but are just AU fragments and i don't think i have the energy to turn into a proper story#ive got 12k complete and edited words for another but then i just cant work out how to get to the story's end#and then the last two are half-written half-drafted and just keep getting longer and longer and i HATE properly write up my drafted notes#just... what do i do#can I put the first three up for fanfic adoption and see if someone else knows what to make of them#if anyone wants to proof read /advise on a modern au where WW realises hes gay breaks up w Milly and falls hard for Vash who then disappears#or a post-trimax fic where knives uses the last of his energy to resurrect WW & WW relearns who he is with melanie livio and the orphan kids#(with vash angst thinking hes hallucinating WW)#or a polygun/vashwood fic where WW tries to hide his injuries & the others realise hes got strange healing bc he nearly dies before the#vial kicks in and WW+Vash then talk about EoM/Knives and it ends in a polygun snuggle pile bc they talk it thru as a crew TM#please let me know#trigun#vashwood#trigun fanfiction
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Alright alright alright! Speedrun time so I can finish this run, finish the Act 3 write up, and start posting the Shadowheart origin fic. Did quite a bit all in one day, so let's gooooo.
Went to the sewers and found Nine Fingers Keene, someone on my list of NPC's who absolutely should be kissable but isn't cause Larian is full of cowards!
Went to the bank and found this guy.
Followed his stench right on back to the sewers. But unfortunately Jaheira got, *cough*, left behind at Moonrise so Minsc also got, uuuhhhhhh, left behind.
Unfortunately, a civil war broke out between the Guild and the Zhent. Sided with the Guild cause, who wouldn’t. Although, Minthara had some ideas about what to do with the undesirables once we take over the city. Always the little schemer she is.
Met some weirdos!
Met a pirate who had quite a thing for Minthara. I mean, "Captain Grizzly" was laying down that rizz HARD. But, can we blame her?
Killed Lora and returned to the Captain. Surprise, it's Ethel! Don't care, gimme my money. Also got an ally with a very useful skill for the most annoying fight later. *Minthara approves*.
Shadowheart went home and met her mother. Poor girl was boutta cry! Also had some pretty triggering memories while going through the cloister.
It has been so long since I've made Shadowheart go down the Selunite path that I forgot how much of a pain in the ass the House of Grief fight was. I wanted to rip my skin off the entire time! I spent thirty minutes watching Minthara and Shadowheart get blinded over and over and then have their asses beat. I actually had to go pull out the hirelings. Holy shit, I fucking hate the Sharrans! If you ever need a good reason to have Shadowheart go down the DJ path, this bullshit of a lineup is a good damn reason!
Viconia, on the ground, begging for mercy. Shadowheart did not care what happened and wanted Viconia to embrace loss. Minthara said "fuck your mother and fuck your mercy" and killed Shadowheart's mother. Gah, what a romantic she is!
I HATE SHAR! I HATE SHAR SO DAMN MUCH! FORGET THE DEAD THREE, LARIAN, LEMME KILL SHAR! THERE ARE VERY FEW THINGS I CONSIDER TO BE TRULY EVIL AND SHAR IS MOST DEFINITELY ONE OF THEM!
The price of freedom is never free...
What a whirlwind of a day. Fought in a civil war between thieves, ran into some old enemies, and Shadowheart went through one of the most traumatizing things in her life and killed every parental figure she’s ever had in a span of ten minutes! But, that’s okay. Minthara made her feel all better. After all, killing your parents is a rite of passage.
< The Wizard | The Foundry and Gortash >
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#shadowheart#shadowheart origin#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#shadowheart x minthara#team mommy issues#semi-evil lesbians#FUCK SHAR#but if i am being honest. shar isn't actually killable no matter how much i want her to be#shar isn't like the dead three or like minor gods like lolth#shar is a primordial god and was one of the first gods to come into creation alongside selune#she is the embodiment of darkness. nothingness. the void. all fundamental laws of reality and she cannot just be destroyed#even if she could die. some other version of her would just be reborn in her place#kinda like 'mystra' who gets resurrected over and over cause a god of magic *has* to exist because magic is a fundamental law of reality#shar and selune have to always exist because the two opposing forces provide the healthy push and pull of good and evil in the world#and everything happening within Act 2 and the shadow curse shows that#ketheric - a selunite turned sharran - is an unfortunate example of what happens when one side of the scale gets too heavy#shadowheart - a sharran turned selunite - who doesn't raid the grove and spares halsin so he can pull thaniel out of the shadowfell#and frees dame aylin to kill ketheric and break the shadowcurse is the scale tipping back into equilibrium
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man, sometimes you start plotting out an AU, and you realize that it is going to be of interest to basically no one, so you sigh and decide that it stays on the discord forever
#specifically I’m playing with a gortash redemption postcanon#but it comes from a sort of ‘bad timeline’ ie on my very first run I fucked up Astarion’s romance and never got his act 2 scene#moved on to act 3 without realizing I had done this#got COLD dumped#and just started extrapolating how fucking miserable my Durge would be about it#like Ryla would still slog through and save the world#but I’m durgetash garbage so part of saving the world#in the end#meant killing the only person who ever loved Ryla#and he regrets it. and he’s miserable#and alone#so he goes to withers like “please just one more resurrection#Enver deserves the chance I got#to try and be better#and withers is like well. This makes my favorite mortal happy AND it will make bane SOOOOO MAD.#I see no downsides#so gortash gets a lil true rexzy and he and Ryla get to go on a life changing field trip#but NO ONE wants to read this and I fear for the wank that might come#since Astarion looks kinda. Bad. in this AU#and I’ve had people get mad in my comments over characters that haven’t appeared onscreen/had a chance to speak for themselves yet before#and it was really frustrating and upsetting#and I just don’t wanna do that again
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Can someone. Explain to me. What's going on with high cloud quintet lore??? People said there's retcon?? Im confusion??
#[borealis.txt]#hsr#high cloud quintet#hcq#first of all 1) whats going on with yingxing and dan feng?#2) whats going on with blade and dan heng?#3) so ur telling me that dan feng tried to resurrect baiheng and yingxin; who clearly hates the abundance; helped him#and then was mad at dan feng bc it backfired and made him hard to kill. WHAT#like. how do we even get there. yongxong hates the abundance yet helped dan feng in that and now mad at him for it????#i thought its bc yingxing was short lived and when he was dying/grievously injured#dan feng tried to make him live longer using abundance; thus bringing us to blade hating dan feng for turning him#into what he hates the most; an abundance monster.#thats the most logical one to follow????#like im not questioning them wanting baiheng back. friends do crazy shits too when grieving. BUT I ?????#to me its like this:#baiheng died -> jingliu went mara struck bc she lost her wife -> yingxing is dying -> dan feng tried to make yx live longer -> blade.#thats what its like to me#idk man I've finished the main and companion missions. i still don't understand how?? why blade is mad if its bc of ressurecting baiheng.#im confused im truly am. please help me.#fuckin. typo. im sorry yingxing.
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… so i caved and payed the $10 more for Baldur's Gate 3 digital deluxe so I can play it already
and uh
so i needed a long rest, right? go to camp. get woken up by the vampire guy. decide to let him do his thing because. well.
but THEN mc'freakin fail my persuasion check to get him to stop, so i'm just dead now. i'm dead laying in the middle of camp. i was an adventurer for less than 24 hours. good news is i guess i'm not turning into a mindflayer after all.
#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#maybe#I AM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY I'M VERY BAD AT VIDEO GAMES#cost 200 goddamn gold to resurrect my own goddamn ass on DAY 1#also did not realize that like. the first companion you meet is a black-haired half-elf cleric.#guess who made her character a black-haired half-elf cleric.#hashtag twinsies or whatever except she really doesn't seem to want to be friends :(
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What makes a villain a villain for you? Idk very broad question no wrong answers to it
I tend to conflate "villain" and "antagonist" - or at least antagonistic, if they're a main character like Charm is haha - someone who impedes others, who seeks to do harm, who is in some way uncontrollable and therefore dangerous. I also tend to like villains that have someone or something to rage against, very Megamind haha - "If there's bad, good will rise up against it."
Villains can be as complex or simplistic as you like, which is very fun! Some villains like to be evil for funsies! Some are tortured! Some don't realize that what they're doing is harmful! Yves is great example of a BBEG who has only good intentions imo (and coincidentally, is also modeled after my own ADHD lol, I have something of a soft spot for dysregulated villains haha)
One of my favourite aspects of the True Villainy AU, and kind of Just Desserts S2 as a whole, is how different types of villains look and move in that world - Charm was seduced by thoughts of revenge that stemmed from loneliness and bitterness, where Kaiein is a manipulative asshole who gets his kicks from causing chaos from the sidelines. Their motivations are very different, but they both do harm, and are both stopped! Villains ✨
#Villains have a lot of wiggle room for what makes them villains I think :)#And there's certainly more shades of grey to explore than the fairly black-and-white villains that I tend to like lol#Charm is pretty black and white - she's a villain until she isn't#It's still hard for her because she ''learned'' all these maladjusted behaviours to get through her life but she keeps trying!#Kaiein is very black and white - literally lol - he's a villain for funsies and has to be defeated rather than recovered#And Yves is quite black and white as well! He doesn't really consider the harm that he does until it's too late! And he still doesn't stop!#I think just about any antagonist Can be a villain depending on the framing - including those trying to stop my villains here#The JD Residents are villains for causing Charm mental anguish - that's why she seeks revenge in the first place!#And again they're the villains for taking away Kaiein's fun toy - you can tell I have little sympathy for him lol#The AGE crew are villains for trying to stop Yves from resurrecting his God and recreating the spiritual Cambrian explosion!#I think what makes a villain a villain is the harm they're willing to cause on the way to their goal#Anyone properly motivated can be twisted into the shape of a villain - what lengths are they willing to go to? Who are they willing to hurt#It's about finding the Hubristic Downfall and digging from there#Villains Are their characters flaws <3#I feel like I've mentioned it somewhere but I view Charm specifically as being endearingly flawed like a cat lol#Cats can have so many characters flaws that we would find unacceptable in humans but are charming - haha - in a cat#Charm is my self-love by way of cat-ifying my own character flaws <3 It's why I like villainsonas so much!!#They're little guys! Evil little guys <3 I think it's great :D#Just Desserts#Villainsona#AGE#Yves
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Stayed up too late gaming eurgh
#but I got thru drezen on core…staunton permakilled 2/3 of our party several times in a row till we got him#he did still kill camellia who I had to frantically resurrect bc we ran out of terendelevs scales#but it’s really fun#everyone in the party except daeran (healer) hits like a fucking truck#playing on higher difficulties can get grating but christ it feels great to fuck up in first few rounds and then turn the battle in ur favor#and it requires some strategizing/resource management which I unironically enjoy#i love my fucked up guy who filled drezen with bugs#text#alma plays wotr#perso
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#i will always be feral over this line because#is he lying? is he telling the truth?#and the answer is: yes#because before dick saved him tim clearly had no thoughts he was going to be saved#but after dick did save him well#clearly the fact that dick will always catch tim is a fundamental truth to tim#so he's both lying and telling the truth <3 (via @scintillyyy)
The other reason I think Red Robin 12 is a moment of trust between Tim and Dick is that Dick catches Tim.
Dick has a lot of issues with the concept of catching or failing to catch someone who is falling. It’s haunted his dreams.
(Nightwing #4)
It’s not so much the fall itself - Dick is fine with heights and with throwing himself off high places.
(Gotham Nights #10, Nightwing #140)
It’s about the fact he doesn’t make the catch.
One of my favourite bits of the Freefall storyline is Dick catching the Mother of Champions’ baby. Because it ties back to this fear of not getting there in time.
(Nightwing #6, Nightwing #146)
Nightwing catches the baby and is able to hand him to his mother. Wu Mei-Xin has never held any of her children before, it’s a lovely moment. It really caps off the growth Dick goes through over his solo.
(Nightwing #146)
And similarly, Dick being there to catch Tim is important imagery in their relationship.
Dick catches Tim when they’re playing around, train surfing:
(Nightwing #25)
Dick ‘catches’ Tim when he’s depressed. “You’re not catching me at a bad time”.
(Robin #156)
Dick is there to catch Tim as he falls apart after pouring out the water from the Lazarus pit.
(Nightwing #139)
And Dick is there to catch Tim as he falls from a building.
(Red Robin #12)
Dick’s grasp has never missed, when it’s Tim. It’s IMPORTANT to Dick that he make the catch for anyone, when they’re falling in front of him, but it’s especially important to him when it’s a child (and when it’s his baby brother).
Tim can honestly say to Dick “you’ll always be there for me” because a little part of him, deep inside, trusts that no matter what, no matter how impossible it might seem, Dick will be there to catch him.
#YEAH red robin is VERY intentional with imagery and callbacks and this is such a great moment ;_;#i think mmm how to put this#a lot of the subtext of red robin is about dick not catching tim / tim not having faith that he would#he isn't there for tim at the start of the story and he's initially pretty wary/reluctant in collision#but he comes through at the end and the end is what counts#and that's why i find it so satisfying#because dick's a character who's high-key obsessed with failure and with failing loved ones#and he very much /is/ failing tim at the start of the story in that he's not being the person tim needs him to be#but that's okay!! he can fail and it's okay!! because he does care and his heart is in the right place and he comes through in the end#so at the end of rr 12 he saves tim which is what tim needs#and tim tells him that he did everything perfectly which is what dick needs to hear#just like in resurrection when dick says all the wrong things first before he figures out the right thing to do#and - negativity alert but - i just find these sorts of stories so much more satisfying than the way taylor writes dick nowadays#where he's just chipperly incapable of any meaningful failure and wanders around being effortlessly perfect all the time#older comics let characters be bad at things and screw up and not say the right thing sometimes#and it makes the triumphant moments like the hug at the end of resurrection or the catch at the end of rr12 hit so much harder#and it's also!!!! thematic!!!! because it mimics the tension of the fall and then the catch!!!!#and dick and tim had lots of good stories like this that balanced both the tension and the love#and i really miss that for them#i feel like so much of this dawn-of-the-dcu stuff involves squashing dick into a very boring stepford-smiley figure#but like... i didn't get attached to dick because i wanted him to be a perfect plastic saint incapable of failure#i like him because he's relatable and tries hard and fails sometimes and keeps trying anyway#and the catches that he /does/ make are more important than the ones he misses <3
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Ya know we got stream title of his resurrection, but there were never a crucification so idk how that works
#z rambles#this is about toya#disappear for 3 days first and say that later#wanna talk about resurrection. LOOK AT KINA#ALSO HES NOT SING OUTER SCIENCE? I WAS LIED TO ?#WHOS SINGING IT THEN? GENZUKI?
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Jason is definitely the type to go feral over his best friend he hasn't seen in years. Hear me out: he's alive again, and not only that, but he's huge. Strong. People are afraid of him. So the reader is in town, walking the streets, and they meet again, maybe when he protects them as Hood. And reader is ecstatic to see Jason again of course and he's the same but also, all he can think is minemineminemine and I WANT YOU. mans is down horrendous for his sweet best friend that he missed and he's been in love with them for so long and now that he has them, he's not giving them up
idk if this was a prompt but i got inspired <3 thanks for stopping by anon
jason todd x gn!reader. feral jason i guess, but really soft jason. jason who yearns to be yours. jason who'd do anything for it, even if it meant one sided devotion... and also, jason who is loved by you. 1.2k words
****
"I don't understand why you can't come to my apartment."
"I told you why." Jason's posture is rigid but his tone is gentle. Because he has told you why he won't enter your home. Multiple times. Doesn't mean you don't challenge it every time you meet him on a random rooftop.
"It would be fine, Jay," you say. "I trust you."
"I know. But I don't trust everybody else," he says, words crackling through his modulator. That had frightened you at first; in fact, everything about a newly-resurrected Jason Todd had frightened you. From his height to the guns, you'd been sure that night in Gotham would be your last.
But then it had become clear that cheated death aside, nothing could kill his heart.
"You haven't visited in a while," you say.
You don't mean for it to sound accusatory.
"I know," Jason says. "Been busy. The Bats..."
And you knew. You knew the second you found out that Jason was alive that it would be like this, that he wouldn't be completely yours. He wasn't yours when he was Robin either, perhaps even less so.
And what's wrong with that? You have no right to ask him to be yours. To give you more.
But the recent distance has frightened you. Maybe it's for safety's sake, but your selfish heart wishes that he'd drop that for once.
Then again, there's always that dread in your stomach that perhaps Jason Todd doesn't love you the way you love him. And perhaps he never will.
"Well, I wish you'd call," you say.
This is wrong. You shouldn't be picking fights. Jason doesn't go dark out of cruelty, only necessity.
Jason sighs. "I can't. 'M sorry."
You cross your arms. It's chilly tonight.
"Do you even want to see me?"
He tilts his head. Dangerous.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want to intrude," you say. "You're busy and all the stuff with B, I don't—I mean, I wouldn't hold it against you if you—"
Jason takes two long strides and closes the distance. You swallow the rest of your sentence as he backs you up against the brick exterior of an abandoned apartment. Your heart picks up. You're not afraid; the fear went long ago. You're just... something. You're something about Jason.
The last time you two hugged was after Willis' death. You'd wanted to wrap him in his cape, thought maybe that would make everything feel as small as he'd been.
Now, a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier, Jason clearly does not need a cape. Right?
He takes off his helmet, lets it hang on his hand. His other hand is by your head. You lean back, let your neck go on display. Jason doesn't miss the movement.
"What're you doing, Jay?" you ask levelly.
Maybe he thinks you don't notice this distance but you do. You don't want to push him to talk about it, because as upsetting as it is, you're still strangers to each other.
You are and you're not. He died and he didn't. You grieved and you didn't. You burn and... you burn.
But you're tired of being and not being. You won't let him keep you in emotional purgatory. If he's done with you, he should just say so.
"If you don't want to meet anymore," you start, and let the words hang in the air.
"I—" he starts, then swallows. He tosses his helmet to the side. He doesn't touch you, just hovers inches away. Jason smells like lilac and gun smoke.
"I don't think you understand... my devotion," he says, voice low. "How much power you have over me."
Your eyes widen. "Wh—"
His green eyes reflect the streetlight like a cat's. The sight stops you short. Jason Todd is hot metal on a knife's edge, and it would do you well to remember that.
His hands curl into fists. He shakes his head.
"Sorry," he whispers like a prayer. "Not tryna scare you." His chest rises and falls rapidly. "'M I scarin' ya, sweetheart? Tell me and I'll go home, shake it off. Wait forever. I can be good. Won't want what I don't deserve."
"I'm not scared," you say, and it's the most sure you've ever been. "Not scared of you, Jay."
He breathes a laugh, like he can't quite believe you. His breath is warm on your neck.
"You'd be the first," he says. "The only one."
This, you believe. This, you have wondered some nights, knowing that even Batman isn't sure what to do with a son who lives with death on his shoulder.
"You don't have to devote yourself to me," you say, because that makes you pause. Who are you to be his god?
Jason laughs again, strong and sure. He sinks to his knees in front of you. His white streak glows in the light.
"You think it's a vice?" he asks. He rests a hand on your left thigh, testing. You lay your hand over his, so he holds your other thigh too.
He hums. "You do. You think you're holdin' me hostage."
Jason takes a shuddering breath and flattens his palms over your legs. Then he leans in and rests his cheek on your leg, nose near the apex of your thighs. Your belly flips.
"Let's make one thing clear. My devotion is my only redemption. 'S the only thing that makes me believe I'm not all rotted inside. Makes me behave. In this world and the next, I'm yours."
"I... Jason, you belong to yourself, not me. I don't—"
"You don't have to do anything. If it's too much, then I'll disappear. You can carry on."
You stroke the exposed side of his face. He looks up at you.
He is still. You have made him still.
"I'm yours too," you say.
He shakes his head. "You don't hafta—"
"Do you think being yours is a curse?" you ask, gaze sharp.
"Don't promise something for balance's sake," he rasps. "I'll be yours without you being mine."
Your heart is still. He has made it still.
"I'll keep coming back," Jason whispers, eyes wide. "If you're mine, I can't leave. Y'don't know what you're doing. Don't give yourself to me."
"I do. I'm yours."
His grip tightens around your legs. Jason shakes his head.
"Don't do it," he says into your thigh. "I shouldn't have anyone. I'm-I'm only meant to be yours. Nobody's mine."
But you know. You can slide your finger along his teeth and he'll wait with his mouth open. You can touch his edges and he'll turn his cheek so you won't nick your finger. He would sooner chew his own tongue.
"It's alright," you say, and kneel. You dirty your knees right alongside him. "It's okay, Jason. I know what I'm doing."
His breath hitches. Jason presses you into the brick, tucks his face into your neck. His arms wrap tightly around your waist.
"Sorry," he whispers frantically. "'M sorry. You can push me away. Sorry."
"I won't do that." You hold him and let him take you. "I know you're good. I thought—I thought you were pulling away, and I..."
"I was," he admits, muffled in your skin. "'M sorry. Was the only way I could think of to let you go. You deserve better. Couldn't think 'round you, honeylove. Knew it was a death sentence when I found out that you still lived in Gotham."
"It wasn't," you say. "Best thing that's ever happened to me."
Jason huffs. "You say that now, but..."
"No. I say it now and I'll say it again. Keep me, Jason. I'll keep you too."
#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd imagine#red hood x you#red hood x reader#red hood fanfiction#batman fanfiction#dc fanfiction#jason todd x yn#jason todd x gender neutral reader#inbox#blurb
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alfred, who writes in a journal every day unbeknownst to the bats.
alfred, who's journals aren't marked by a period of time, or his own age, instead by the names of those he looks after. when dick is first adopted, and he knows this change is permanent, he puchases a new journal, despite his existing one being only 2/3 full. this one has a simple 'richard' written with a gold accent on the cover, a change from the last 8, titled 'bruce'.
alfred, who somehow makes journaling more of a logbook, albeit still personal. he's writing about himself, sure. memories of old friends, his travels, stories he's heard, things he has experienced.
but he mainly writes of them, the things they do, how they act. their character quirks that they haven't even picked up on yet themselves. the things he wishes he could tell them as a parent, instead of butler. the things they should know about those who've come before them. the regrets he has, and changes he's making. how they've molded him into a new person.
alfred, who will take all this information to the grave. until then, they stay packed in their respective boxes, some dustier than others, in the back of his wardrobe in the manor.
the contents of those journals aren't specific to each kid. everyone's within those pages. in tim's there's a lot about jason, and damian's has a lot about bruce. nothing's overly invasive in them, and the furthest it strays from the truth is when sometimes alfred admits to believing a different set of events to whatever he's been told, and even then he's probably right.
jason, who receives his journals prematurely. there's only 2, there should have been more. it's painfully obvious the cutoff, how it wasn't supposed to end there, but still it did. he receives them post-resurrection, convinced he doesn't belong in the world. his memories of robin growing fogged and becoming twisted.
he reads them and he cries, maybe it's because he forgot how much good there was in those times, or maybe it's because that's the determining moment in his new life where he decides that he really deserves and wants to live, because his existence runs deeper than being the robin who died.
frankly it's quite jarring for jason, to read about himself from another's perspective. as much as i love the idea of him and alfred getting along the best out of all the kids, he definitely distances himself for a while to process everything. he slowly creeps back though.
no one else gets to read their share until alfred's gone, and when they do it goes unspoken, no one pries to know anything outside of their dedicated journals.
jason, after hesitance and much internal conflict, drops off his own on dick's nightstand one night. receiving them back, two weeks later, is a silent affair face-to-face.
tim, similarly, on no one's accord but his own, gives jason his, to keep. he says something about how he doesn't think they were ever about him, and they seemed much more like a sequel. he also apologises, and mentions how he almost felt like he was intruding on something. but he understands now, he doesn't clarify about what.
#cass + duke have one each too#batfam#batfamily#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#batboys#the robins#batkids#nightwing#red hood#robin#red robin#dc comics#dcu#dc#gothihop speaks
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