#who wants to go to the zoo and watch the penguins with me

[sarcasticfemme]

I want to shower my butch with love.

I want to kiss her everytime I brush past her, I want bring her a warm drink on a cold night, fluff her towel in the dryer when she showers, adjust her tie for her before we talk out the door.

I want her to be so saturated in love that even when we are apart she never doubts how my heart beats for her.

[breitzbachbea]

BEA HI RE: ZOO ROME HAS A ZOO WITH PENGUINS and this zoo is one of the best-signalled attractions in the city like. oh so you're in your car? we have a run-down street sign for the direction you need and A BRAND NEW ONE FOR THE ZOO

Honestly, now that you say that, and it could just be my brain getting tricked ... but I do think I remember advertisements of the zoo during one of my last visits to the city. I'll buy that immediately, yeah.

[nataliasquote]

Double the trouble | a day out | n romanoff

Part of the ‘Double the trouble AU’

Summary: a day trip with 2 3-year-olds is a lot to handle…

Age: 3 years old

Warnings: none

Pairings: WandaNat

wc: 2.9k

note: this was a request from anon (my first request!) so I hope I did it justice

- ⧗ -

Isla was always the loudest twin. She had all her firsts before her sister; word, steps, you name it, she beat Y/n to it. Which often left the younger girl feeling behind and unworthy, born to only follow in the shadows of her twin sister.

Natasha and Wanda tried their hardest to treat their girls equally, but with Y/n’s reluctance to try anything new and Isla’s strong temperament, they had a difficult situation on their hands.

Being three years old meant days were filled with trips to the park and fun days out for the whole family. Isla had been begging to go to the zoo, the colourful picture books she begged Wanda to read every night cementing her love for animals. Y/n nodded when asked if she wanted to go too. But what was she supposed to say? She did everything Isla did.

But the zoo wasn’t her thing. Whilst her older sister toddled around and pointed animatedly at all the different animals, Y/n stayed beside the stroller, her tiny hands fiddling with the fabric seat as she stared at the concrete pavement. Natasha tried her hardest to involve her, often picking her up so she could see over the fences and pointing to the monkeys who were chasing each other around the enclosure. But the little girl was having none of it, her fist wrapped around the strap of her mama’s tank top.

“What’s the matter maylshka?” Natasha asked, holding Y/n tight to her body as she lead them both over to a nearby bench. “I thought you loved the zoo?”

The small girl shook her head, flaming hair falling loose from its braids. “Isla like zoo. Not me.”

Natasha’s brow furrowed as she looked at her daughter. “But you said you wanted to go?”

Y/n gave her mother a glare. A very familiar one at that. “No. Isla said go. Not me.”

Natasha shifted so her daughter was now sat on her knee. She gently moved a stray piece of hair from her forehead and kissed it gently, rubbing the soft cotton of her t-shirt. “I’m sorry malyshka. I thought you wanted to go too.”

“It’s ok Mama,” Y/n said, placing her cool palms on her mother’s warm cheeks. Natasha smiled softly at the gesture and booped her on the nose, making the young girl giggle. “Can we get ice cream?”

Natasha pretended to think for a moment. “Ice cream? Hmmm, I don’t know.”

“I think yes!”

“Do you? And does Y/n make the rules now?”

The young girl nodded happily, her whole body moving with the force. “Ice cream!”

“Ok, big girl. Let’s get ice cream.” Natasha stood up from her seat and began to set Y/n down on the ground, but the three year old clung to her front like the monkeys behind her, tiny heels digging into Natasha’s waist. There were many things Nat loved about her youngest, but Y/n’s clingy nature was by far her favourite. It made her feel wanted, important.

With a stroller handle in one hand and a child balanced carefully in the other, Nat set off towards the jungle themed cafe she’d spotted on the map by the gate. Wanda had taken Isla off to god knows where, the young girl unable to sit still with so much happening around her.

The cafe itself was rather busy so Natasha expertly manoeuvred the stroller into a corner booth table and kicked the brake down so it wouldn’t roll into anyone’s way. She sank down onto the cushioned blue seat and allowed Y/n to straddle her lap, soft red hair tickling her nostrils as the young girl lay against her mother’s chest.

Natasha quickly scanned her surroundings before pulling out her phone and punching a quick update text to Wanda, who replied back with a video of Isla at the penguin enclosure.

“Look Y/n,” she turned her phone so the young girl could see but Y/n didn’t pay much attention. She watched for two seconds before her head went straight back to Natasha’s collarbone, finding more comfort there than anywhere else. “You’re really not bothered by the zoo, huh?”

Y/n shook her head lazily, her thumb coming up to brush against her lips, a telltale sign for Natasha who was well trained in motherhood.

“I think someone’s tired?” Another sleepy nod. “You wanna go for a nap, detka?” Talking was clearly too much for Y/n, who only replied with yet another nod. Natasha took her response and pulled the stroller close. However, she was met with some resistance as she tried to transfer a now squirmy three year old into her seat. “What’s wrong?”

“-na stay with you,” Y/n mumbled around her thumb before Nat gently prised it out of her mouth. Y/n’s big green eyes blinked up at her tiredly and Natasha couldn’t help but coo at the sight. Her girls were the most adorable things in her life and when they were tired they were so precious.

Nat moved her body back into the corner of the booth and allowed Y/n to swivel around so she was flat against her chest, cheek resting comfortably on the softness of Natasha’s chest. They may not be fed like that anymore, but the twins still found great comfort from their mamas’ chests.

It didn’t take long for Y/n’s breaths to even out and Natasha couldn’t help but take a quick selfie with her daughter, the moment too precious to capture. She stared at her screen with a blissful expression before posting it to her close friends’ instagram story. Only family and the occasional friend was allowed on there, and Yelena of course was the first to send a reply.

@ yelenabelova7

you better be bringing those munchkins to me soon. I want baby Y/n hugs too

Natasha rolled her eyes and laughed as she replied, flawlessly typing even with one hand.

@ natromanoff

i’m impressed you got the twin right. and i’m not putting them on a plane so you’ll have to come here. I know isla would love that.

@ yelenabelova7

I can’t believe you doubt me Natasha. I know my Y/n when I see her. Besides, she’s always clinging to you. You got the quiet one. Wanda has her hands full with the other monkey

@ natromanoff

They’re both our children, Lena. Wands is just happy to be dragged around a zoo. I’d rather sit

@ yelenabelova7

HA! You’re getting old sestra. You’re a mother, not a grandma. Not yet anyway.

Yelena’s comment made Natasha roll her eyes and place her phone down on the table. She cradled Y/n’s head to her chest and rocked her gently back and forth. A smile broke out across her face as she spotted her wife push through the large glass doors, Isla tugging on her arm impatiently.

Natasha held a finger up to her lips as her favourite girls approached, trying not to disturb her youngest. But her efforts were in vain as Y/n recognised the approaching voices and lifted her head to peer around. Wanda bent down and kissed her head softly, brushing her hair back as she pulled away.

“Hello sleepy head,” she cooed, taking a seat on the opposite bench and pulling Isla onto her lap. “Did the ice cream make you sleepy?”

“We didn’t even get that far, did we?” Natasha laughed, watching as Y/n’s head perked up at the mention of the sweet dessert.

“Can we get it now?”

Wanda looked down at Isla. “You wanna get some with me and we can bring it back for Y/n and Mama?”

“Sure!”

“Me go too!” Y/n squirmed off Natasha’s lap and ran over to Wanda, taking the hand on her other side. “Mama stay?” She asked, looking back at Natasha.

The redhead nodded. “I’ll hold down the fort.”

Wanda led the twins away like a mother duck and her ducklings, holding their hands tight until they reached the large glass cabinet. The young woman behind the counter smiled at the precious sight in front of her as the twins stretched up on their toes to peer in.

“Pink!” Y/n exclaimed, pointing to the candy floss ice cream that sounded disgusting in Wanda’s eyes. “Can I get pink?”

“Mommy I want chocolate!”

“What do we say when we want something?” Wanda asked, putting on her best ‘mom’ voice.

“Pleeeeeese?” The girls chorused, tiny toothy smiles dazzling up at their mommy. The worker chuckled and caught Y/n’s eye so she smiled widely at her too.

“That’s better. And yes, you can get whatever you would like. But you have to ask the nice lady politely.”

Isla being Isla spoke up first, puffing out her chest as she took a deep breath. “Please can I have chocolate please?” She pointed into the cabinet, just in case the server wasn’t sure which one was chocolate.

“Of course you can sweetheart. Is that in a cone or a cup?” Isla looked at her blankly and turned to Wanda, a clear cry for help.

“The smallest cone you do please. And just one scoop.” The girl nodded and began preparing her order. “They don’t need too much sugar.”

Once Isla’s order was complete the server turned to Y/n who was staring intently at all the colourful flavours. “Which one would you like sweetheart?”

“Pink?”

“Strawberry?” Y/n looked up at Wanda, tugging her sleeve for help. The mother shook her head and watched to see which one her daughter pointed too. Granted, Y/n could barely point in the right direction but her intention was enough to go off.

“I think she means the candyfloss. The one with the glitter on it.”

Y/n’s was scooped into a similar cone to Isla and then placed on the stand. Wanda quickly sorted herself and Natasha out; two scoops of honeycomb crunch in a cup for herself, and a double scoop of caramel coffee for Nat. Wanda always teased her wife for crunching on the coffee beans that topped her scoop. Natasha sure was a strange one when it came to her flavour preferences.

Ice creams clutched tightly in hands, Wanda ushered her little ducklings back to the safety of the booth where Natasha was waiting, a large grin plastered onto her face that mirrored that of her ice cream laden babies.

Sweet treats were consumed from the safety of the jungle themed cafe and Isla and Y/n swung their feet happily as they nibbled on their cones. Sticky hands and faces were just inevitable and Wanda was soon ready to attack both with baby wipes the second they were done.

“Did you two see everything you wanted to?” Natasha asked, scrolling through the pictures on Wanda’s phone of Isla at various exhibits.

“I saw lions!” Isla bared her teeth and roared, shaking her head like she’d seen the majestic creature do hours earlier. “And the ‘raffes!”

“Giraffes?”

“Yeah!”

Y/n tugged on Natasha’s sleeve and pointed to part of the mural covering the wall to her right. “They have those here?”

The colourful sea creatures were definitely oversaturated; pink sharks didn’t sit comfortably with Natasha. But she followed Y/n finger to a sparkly blue turtle and smiled, noticing how Isla and Wanda also did the same.

“I saw a sign for an aquarium around the corner,” Wanda said. “There could be turtles in there.”

“We go!”

“Now hold on a minute-“ Wanda started, but telling two sugared-up three years olds on a mission to slow down was a fruitless effort. Natasha grabbed both of their tiny wrists and gently tugged them back to the table, earning little angry glares from both girls.

“What did we say about running off?”

“But-“

“Not buts, Y/n. What did we say?”

“Don’t run off,” they said in unison, the floor now much more interesting than Natasha who wasn’t smiling. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok munchkin, just wait 2 minutes and we’ll be ready.”

Wanda and Natasha packed up quickly and headed towards the aquarium side of the zoo, eyes glued to the two little girls in front of them whose hands were tightly clasped together. They may have their favourite parent and stay glued to their side, but Y/n and Isla’s bond truly was unbreakable. Starkly different, yet inseparable.

[petite-phthora]

Take care...

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 11]

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Part 1

Ao3

---

Their first stop was a small café near Robinson Park; Alysia's Boba Bar & Café. After each of them had placed their order, with Jason paying, saying it was ‘his treat’ and that ‘he had promised he’d be the one paying earlier’, they took their food outside.

They did get some stares from the customers and employees, mainly aimed at Jason who’s wearing his Red Hood gear, but they just ignored them minus some intimidation from Jason from afar.

Though, Jason wasn’t quite sure if Danny actually ignored them or just blatantly didn’t even notice them.

Either way, they were currently sitting on a bench in the park. Jason had taken his helmet off and put it next to him so that he could eat, still wearing his domino mask anyway. He’s also still wearing the watch Danny had gifted him.

And he’s never taking that off, holy shit he loves it so much.

Danny is sipping on the leftovers of his boba, having already scarfed down his sandwich. Jason starts his tour, telling him about Robinson Park and pointing out Gotham Zoo right next to it.

After they’re both done with their food, Jason puts his helmet back on and they get back onto his motorcycle so he can point out important landmarks while driving around.

Jason and Danny proceed to chat a bit during the ride as well, just some basic stuff to get to know one another; favorite color, favorite food, how they would disarm someone with a gun and de-escalate the situation, opinions on otters and how they hold onto each other so they don’t drift away, favorite movies, etc.

And Jason is desperately trying to focus on driving instead of Danny’s arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

---

"Over there is the Iceberg lounge."

Danny’s gaze follows where Jason is pointing, falling on a big two-story building with a sign on the outside reading ‘Iceberg Lounge’.

"It's a nightclub owned by the Penguin, one of Batman’s rogues. It’s mainly just a front for his criminal activities, but the nightclub itself is actually pretty good to be fair. Bit posh though"

---

"See that big tower in the middle there? That's Wayne Tower. It's basically the office building of Wayne Enterprises, the company owned by Gotham’s very own multi-millionaire Bruce Wayne." Red Hood says, sarcasm dripping off of his words at the end.

Danny lets out a small non-committal hum.

“You don’t sound too fond of him” Danny inquiries curiously.

“I’m not“ Red Hood states, not elaborating in the slightest.

Danny tries to lighten the mood a little “Well, as long as he doesn’t try to adopt me I guess he’s still better than another millionaire I know.”

Danny smiles as he hears Red Hood laugh.

---

"Over there’s Gotham City Public Library. It’s one of my favorite places in the city. I tend to go there at least once a week. They’ve got a ton of books and are willing to order any they don’t have at request. There’s also some computers there that are free for public use."

"You like reading?" Danny asks curiously.

"Mhmm. I'm mainly in the classics like Charles Dickens, Lewis Carroll, Jane Austen, Mary Shelley, etc."

“Oh, nice. I don’t usually read much. English was basically my worst subject at school, but the teacher was pretty good. Kind of ended up being one of the only ones in my corner and he really tried his best, y’know?”

“He sounds pretty nice. Is there a reason you haven’t read much, like lack of interest or…?” Jason trails off questioningly.

Danny shrugs “I guess I never really had the time as a teenager, with an added lack of motivation on top. And now… I guess I don’t really know what kind of books I’d like or where I should start.”

“I could recommend you some? If you want me to?”

“Sure, that’d be nice”

---

"The large building over there is Arkham Asylum. It's basically a psychiatric hospital. Batman dumps all of his rogues here, though they keep breaking out."

"Oh yeah, I’ve heard of this place. My older sister applied to work here"

"Dr. Jasmine Fenton?" Jason questions, even if he was already pretty sure who Danny was referring to.

"Mhmm,” Danny nods, “she recently gained her doctorate and wants to be a psychiatrist at Arkham"

"... I wish her good luck" Is the response Jason decides on.

"I’m sure she can do it" Danny proclaims, somehow embodying the :D smiley face.

Jason considers the possibility of her having similar meta powers to her brother and decides that if she does she'll probably be fine.

Not to mention she has Danny in her corner… And Red Hood now as well.

---

"What's that building over there?" Danny asks as they're driving on one of the roads on the outskirts of the main part of the city.

Jason looks at where he's pointing, spotting the manor.

"That's Wayne Manor. Do you remember that millionaire I mentioned earlier? The one that owns Wayne Tower and WE? That's where he lives."

Danny sounds a little surprised as he asks "He lives in that huge building? All by himself?"

"Well, not really. He has some kids, most of whom are adopted though you wouldn’t believe the field day the press had when it was found out he had a biological son. Besides them, he also has a butler that lives at the manor”

Once again, it seems Danny has noticed Jason’s standoffish attitude at Wayne, as he tries to lighten the mood a little.

"That manor is still way too big for all of them. Like what are they doing with all of that space? Are they hiding something? I bet they have a huge secret basement underneath the manor with some kind of laboratory and some shit. Millionaires seem to love those."

Jason lets out a surprised laugh at how on-the-nose Danny is, making Danny grin at his successful attempt to lighten the mood a little. Though it makes him question for a little bit…

He doesn’t know, right? Or does he…

"You know, I think the manor is actually missing something" Danny speaks up again.

"Oh? And what’s that?" Jason asks with humor in his tone.

"It would look way better TPed" Danny states confidently, bearing a mischievous grin.

Jason barks out a laugh, a sharp grin on his face.

"Let's save that for the next date, Doll"

Danny lets out a slightly giddy laugh, his cheeks red and heart beating just a little faster at both the 'next date‘ part and the unexpected, but not unwelcome, nickname.

---

“And this,” Jason says, as he gestures proudly towards the streets around them, “is Crime Alley, which is my turf in this city. I’m the one protecting this place.”

Jason had brought Danny to Crime Alley as the last stop on their date.

“Oh yeah!” Danny speaks up. “I was wondering about that!”

Jason turns to him questioningly and Danny takes it as a sign to continue.

“Yeah so, why is it called crime alley?” he asks curiously with a tilt of his head.

Say what now?

Jason takes a deep breath.

“Are you serious?” Jason asks genuinely curious, gesturing at the drug deal taking place behind them, the mugger that’s running past, and towards the right where gunshots can clearly be heard.

To his credit, Danny doesn’t falter at all, giving Jason a smile and continuing.

“Yeah, I thought it was called Park Row or something like that. Did it get renamed?”

Jason closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose before letting out a strained “Something like that…”

He takes another deep breath before looking back at Danny, who’s still looking at him with a bright smile.

“Is there really no reason you can think of why this place would get nicknamed crime alley? Not one reason at all? None?”

A small explosion sounds and some metal shrapnel falls in little pieces around them. A car tire rolls past. Danny and Jason don’t look away from one another.

Danny ‘grew up with mad scientist parents, an OSHA-violating lab in the basement, fighting ghosts, causing property damage, evading ghost police, fighting a king, is pretty certain his parents have been committing some kind of tax evasion for their research funding, etc., etc. though none of that was really an excuse as his friends and sister didn’t turn out quite as blind to danger as him.’ Fenton thinks about it for barely a second before shrugging.

“No, not really. Why?”

“This is where the Joker attacked you.” Jason tries pointing out, causing Danny to take a good look around them.

“Oh, that’s right! I was wondering why this place looked so familiar! I gotta say, it looks different in the daylight. But I mean, that attack could’ve happened anywhere, couldn’t it? What’s so special about this place?”

God, how can he be so smart yet so stupid?

Now is really not the time to kiss him, Jason.

“It’s… just a nickname, given to the district by the Gothamites. Poverty runs rampant and the crime rates here are… above average, let’s say, when compared to the rest of Gotham. Only old rich folks still call it Park Row” Is what Jason decides to say.

“So yeah, it’s probably best if you try to avoid this place, especially at night. Though God knows you can handle yourself, considering the way you went at the Joker” Danny snorts at the innuendo.

“It’s still better to be safe than sorry and keep away from this place, unless you’re with me. The people around here know better than to mess with me and the people I’m with, so there’s no need to worry.”

“Hmmm, are you sure the crime rates are higher here?”

On their left, a guy dressed in a gray hoodie with suspicious dark red stains on it runs at a car, gets in, and drives off as fast as he can with the car alarm still going off.

“Yes.”

“Oh, okay! I’ll try to keep that in mind then”

God have mercy.

---

Red Hood had driven them back to Danny’s apartment after their date in order to drop him off. Meanwhile, Danny is still not quite over the fact that he can actually call it a date!

After they both get off of the motorcycle, Red Hood walks him the few feet to the front door of his apartment building, and it’s time for them to say goodbye again.

Do they kiss now? Or should he wait till the next date?

Danny really wants to kiss him right now.

But he’s wearing his helmet so it would be awkward as fuck.

Especially if he had to ask Red Hood to take it off.

No, Danny can’t do that. Just no, he’d have his second death, this time of embarrassment instead of electricity. It’s some variation at least?

“See you later, —”

Danny cuts himself off with a not-so-subtle fake cough, cheeks heating up in embarrassment at what he was about to say. He had almost let out another cringy animal-themed goodbye, just like last time.

Great going, Fenton. Despite not going for the kiss, he still managed to almost fuck it up.

It’s like he’s digging himself a bigger hole by the minute.

Red Hood stops walking and pauses. Seeing this, Danny lowers his head to stare at the ground, his body stiff.

---

Jason can’t quite believe he’s doing this, and if any of the bats heard him, he’d never hear the end of it. But… to put Danny at ease…

“Take Care, Polar Bear”

The sentence makes Danny snap his head back up immediately. His mouth is slightly open, as though he’s trying to come up with something to say and failing.

Not waiting for Danny to answer him, Jason starts moving towards his motorcycle again.

Danny, with his cheeks still slightly red, stares at the leaving figure of Red Hood. His gaze is full of adoration, as he just falls a little deeper for the helmed vigilante.

Jason is thankful the helmet obscures Danny’s view of his blushing face as he gets on his motorcycle. He gives one last wave to Danny before revving the engine and leaving for his apartment.

---

Taglist:

@i-always-say-yea   @uraniumwizard    @why-must-i-be-like-this   @griffinthing

[le-sluagh]

#4 Incorrect Batman: Vigilante (My AU)

Joker: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Harley. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Harley!

Poison Ivy: Nope.

Joker: In that case, as the archbishop of gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Harley right on the lips!!!

*****

Bruce Wayne: Selina and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.

Alfred: And?

Bruce Wayne: She chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-

Selina Kyle: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

*****

Bane: *gives a love note to Scarecrow* Take that?

Scarecrow: What?

Bane: Freaking take it.

Scarecrow: No- I don’t want to.

Bane, menacing: JUST TAKE IT!

Scarecrow: WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME A THREATING NOTE, IF IT’S TO THREAT ME IRL???

*****

Harley Quinn: Wake me up-

Joker: Before you go go

Poison Ivy: When September ends

Two Face: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

*****

Joker, to Lex Luthor: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

*****

Penguin: I love you.

Riddler, not paying attention: What was that?

Penguin: I said you have your place in the zOo-

*****

Batman: I’m going to take you out

Joker: great, it’s a date!

Batman: I meant that as a threat.

Joker: See you at five!

*****

Mad Hatter: What's a word that’s a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Riddler: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Scarecrow: Smad.

*****

Poison Ivy: Dammit, Joker!

Joker: What?! It wasn’t me!

Poison Ivy: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Harley!

Harley Quinn: Not me either.

Poison Ivy: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Two Face: *whistles*

*****

Scarecrow: Favorite horror movie?

Joker: It

Riddler: Saw

Two Face: Annabelle

Harley Quinn: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Can I do a soft prompt not on the list ? I love your writing 😊 Buck and Eddie driving back from a zoo trip or something with Chris and Chris falling asleep in the back seat.

Going to count this under “road trip” for list checking purposes. Send me soft prompts! Find the finished ones on ao3!

Sometime in May when the end of school was weeks away but felt like eternity even to a kid who liked the place, Eddie had come home from running errands to find Buck and Chris laying out flat on the living room floor marking up a giant piece of paper. Eddie doesn’t know where they got it - it must be 18x24 at least - or why the floor was the best option for putting it to use - a mystery shortly solved by finding the remains of lunch still scattered over the kitchen table - but Eddie is careful not to step on it or any stray limb or crayon as he makes his way through to put groceries away. When anything perishable is safe someplace cold he comes back to sit between them, at the long edge of the sheet.

“What are you up to?”

“Read the paper, dad,” Chris says, exasperated. Eddie makes a face at him, and Buck tries not to laugh from his spot on the floor. The two of them share a look before Eddie puts his attention on Buck and Christopher’s work. Written at the top of the paper in chunky block letters is BIG SUMMER IDEAS, decorated by a smiling sun with cool guy shades and what Eddie assumes is a flamingo judging by the shades of pink. There’s more writing all over the page, half of it upside down because Chris is laying along the top edge. Eddie picks out BEACH DAY and GARDEN WITH PEPPA and NEW PIZZA (RESTAURANT? INVENT?) and, mirrored in both hand writings and circled twice, ZOO.

“You two aren’t sick of the zoo by now?” Eddie asks, and then raises his hands when they both look scandalized.

“Never!” Buck proclaims. “Besides, San Diego and Santa Barbara are both not that far away, we thought we’d maybe try and branch out.”

Chris nods seriously. “We need to expand our zoo repertoire,” he says, confident around the big new vocabulary word.

“Alright,” Eddie gives in, easily. “This is a big list, we gotta do all of these? I don’t know if we’ll have the time…”

Buck pushes himself up to sitting, and shrugs. “Just ideas. We were getting antsy waiting for Summer, huh?” Chris nods emphatically and Buck grins at him, before looking back at Eddie a little less sure. “Thought we’d write out some things to look forward to. We- you don’t have to do all, or any-“

“We’re definitely going to the zoo,” Chris frowns.

“Except for the zoo, of course.” He still has that look on his face, like he’s overstepped somehow, and Eddie wants to say please don’t apologize for finding a way to make Chris happy when he’s feeling down, and of course “we,” of course you’re coming with us, I haven’t the first idea how to invent new pizza.

“It’s a good list,” is what he says. “We’ll see what we can pack in there.”

That was May, and it’s the end of July now, and history books worth of things have happened in between, and Buck and Eddie’s Relationship (capital R, for Romance) is so new it’s stumbling around on doe legs. Eddie thinks they’ve spent years planting a pretty nice meadow for it to stumble around in, though, and taking his hand in public for the first time ever as they trail Chris around the Santa Barbara Zoo is easy as anything. It helps that they both start laughing - giggling, really, he’s a grown man giggling at the zoo - whenever they make eye contact. They hold hands in front of an island full of tiny little monkeys, and in a cave where you can watch penguins swim around, and by the statue of the giraffe with the crooked neck, and on the train that loops around the whole thing and gets so close to the lion enclosure that it’s almost a little frightening. They spend a fair amount of time not holding hands, too, as Buck and Chris pour over every informational plaque in the place. Eddie is perfectly content to watch them have at it and provide sunscreen reapplications and snacks, probably smiling just as sappily at his two favorite people in the world having a good time as he did at holding hands (holding hands!) with his boyfriend (boyfriend!).

They only stay at the zoo until about four, but they’d had to get up at the crack of dawn to make it up the coast in a reasonable amount of time, especially with the mess of construction Buck had to white knuckle through on the northbound 101 past Ventura. Chris is starting to wilt a little, and Eddie’s running on several cups of coffee, and even Buck has yawned once or twice by the time they’re eating an early dinner at a sandy little outdoor restaurant close to the beach outside of town. A train goes right past during the meal and all three of them stand up for a good look, Buck hefting Chris up on his back for a better vantage point. If Eddie gets distracted by watching the joy on their faces instead of the train, well, his sappiness was never going to be contained just within the walls of the zoo. He finds it a little hard to believe, sometimes, the amount of happiness he gets to experience. It jostles around inside of him like loose parts, or a bag of treasure. He’s been happy before, he’s been happy for years here in LA with the family of the 118 taking root around him, but it’s felt… more, these days, almost dizzying since he and Buck had either suddenly or finally closed the distance. It bubbles away inside of him, somewhere near Camarillo with Chris falling asleep in the back seat and pink California summer sunset light washing over them all. Buck’s got the windows rolled down just a little, to feel the air, and the radio is on low, and Eddie has been trying to leave less things unspoken, so.

“Thank you.”

Buck glances at him with a little smile, then looks back at the road. “For what?”

Eddie shrugs, because how is he supposed to encompass all of it with words? “For driving. For coming with us. For holding my hand.”

Buck’s laugh is just a soft exhale. “I should be thanking you for all that.”

“Even the driving?”

“Okay, well, the construction was bad, but yeah even the driving. You know I don’t mind it.” Buck’s smile is still small, and it feels important, suddenly, to try and get across the enormity of all this.

“Thank you for- everything, Buck. For inventing new pizza.”

Buck laughs loud, and then sheepishly checks Chris in the rear view mirror. Still sleeping. “I don’t think we’ve quite perfected it yet,” he says, quietly. “Give me a few more tries.”

Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t know how to- the time you give us, the- everything- Do you know? How happy you make us? Make me?”

Buck glances at him, twice, three times, keeps his eyes back on the road. “It feels like…” Buck is almost whispering, and gestures at his chest. “Like that little bag of rocks Chris got at the gift shop.”

Eddie laughs, folding a little closer to Buck, because a bag of treasure, they’re sharing metaphors. “Yeah. Like that.”

“I know,” Buck says, like he can’t believe it sometimes either. “You know? Me- me too?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I know." There's hardly been any complete sentences in this conversation but Eddie thinks they've never really needed words to communicate anyway. He knows. Buck knows. "We've still got 23 items on the list."

Buck laughs, and lets go of the steering wheel to grab Eddie's hand again. "Well, tomorrow's a new day. Summer's not over yet."

Eddie thinks, holding Buck's hand with Chris sleeping in the back, on the road headed home, that with each other summer is never going to end.

[elgascreamslikehell]

Honey @aspecbuddie tagged me for the

Fuck it Friday

And I still have twenty minutes of Friday sooo...

I mean I'm still not at the best time of my life but I'm working on it. Kinda.

‘Eddie. Wait.’ Usually Eddie manages to take a shower and runs home before Buck finishes his stupid phone call to his stupid boyfriend. He built like the whole system of avoiding Buck. But every system has a flaw. Today's flaws are a broken engine and dinner that Buck somehow burnt. And now he leans on the lockers and looks at Eddie with his puppy eyes. Nobody can resist these puppy eyes. Eddie definitely can't even if he really tries. ‘Okay. What do you want, Evan?’, - he emphasizes Buck's name on purpose but Buck apparently doesn't get it. ‘Erm… i… well… Did you teach Ravi military survival knots?’ Eddie chuckles. Really, really Buck? Knots? That's what you want to talk about? ‘Yes. If you need, Ravi can teach you now. He's a very great learner. Anything else? I'm sorry, I'm not sure if you remember but today is Chris's favorite day - we're going to the zoo to feed penguins or hell knows who else. I hope we also will be able to feed me cause, and that's the most polite way I can put it, your dinner was awful’, - not that it was so bad Eddie just can't miss the opportunity to hit him just a bit. Buck exhales. Then exhales louder. ‘Listen…’ ‘I'm listening. You just don't say anything!’, - Eddie looks at his watch in a very expressive way. ‘Can I maybe… I mean, I barely see Chris right now, so…can I maybe go with you?’ Nobody can say no to these puppy eyes. Eddie takes a breath ‘And what's about your boyfriend? Or is he too good for the zoo?’ ‘He can meet us there and…’ Nobody can say no. Eddie, supposedly, is nobody. Or he just happens to be a father of a perfect child he needs to protect. And maybe, just maybe. He also needs to protect himself. ‘No. Sorry Buck. It's kinda a family thing…’, - Buck stares at Eddie without blinking: ‘But we used to do this together’ And Eddie just sadly smiles: ‘Well… we did. Sorry, I don't want to be late.’ - he takes his bag and goes away. Funny enough, he said ‘sorry’ at least three times. Buck didn't say it once!

And optional taglist!

@pirrusstuff @steadfastsaturnsrings @idealuk @duncley @angryangeldreamsalad @blackberry-l @teayourtea @springeden7 @charleyk @lilypads-and-dragonflies @virtualstudent16 @dantesrebellion1776 @fionaswhvre @darkrose6578 @thatshroomintheforest @princehattric @pansysgothgf

[lavender-bundle-blithe]

Wrong Tiger

“Hey… Midoriya?

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know if it’s just me, or did your white tiger get bigger? Like massively bigger that it’s unheard of for a tiger to grow this big since this morning.”

Midoriya stared at his classmates before looking up to meet the tiger’s eyes.

“Midoriya, did you somehow lose your white tiger and unknowingly started taking care of another white tiger?”

“I-I don’t… know?”

“HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT KNOW?!”

“K-Kaachan, I can’t tell the difference between two white tigers!”

“IDIOT! The tiger you took care of on day one is small and with blue eyes! This is twice as big and with yellow eyes!” Bakugou screeches, wildly gesturing at the large tiger while the lion he was taking care of and Uraraka look closer, a red panda perched on her head.

“Actually, there might be some purple in there.” she remarks, carefully outstretching a hand and yelping when the red panda took that as a platform and jumped on top of the tiger’s head. Before they could react though, the tiger simply jolted on the spot before not at all minding as the red panda played on them.

“At least they are docile!” Asui points out as she holds a bucket with a seal inside.

“Thank goodness for that,” Todoroki comments as he feeds his penguin another fish. “This reminds me of some stray news about a white tiger terrorizing towns and cities a few months ago.”

“Okay, that sounds terrifying.” Kaminari shudders, clutching the basket of baby chicks.

“Guys, this isn’t the time to be scared over old news,” Jirou points out with a snowy owl perched on her shoulder. “Right now, we have a different tiger in hand from the one Midoriya should be taking care of.”

“But how do we find a missing tiger? NOT TO MENTION where this one came from?” Kirishima asks as he leans against the rhino.

Midoriya frowned in thought and looked at the tiger who watched them with an observing eye. “Do you know where you are, where you came from?” he asks.

“Deku, are you seriously trying to copy Koda-?”

The tiger suddenly chuffs and moves its head elsewhere. They all turned their heads towards the entrance into the room.

“You… came from the entrance?” Midoriya tries.

The tiger lets out a quiet moan before shifting up to their paws. Leaning their head down, they transferred the red panda back to Uraraka and headed to the door.

“W-Wait a second, I don’t think you could make it through those doors!” Midoriya panics, making the tiger stop. “We can go through the gate! You want to go outside this enclosure?” he asks.

The tiger blinked before turning back around and gazed at the boy. He just stared back. “You… seem to understand me.” The tiger blinks again before ducking their head, ears lowered slightly. “N-Not that it’s weird!” He looks at the others.

“Guess we’re taking these guys to see the guests.”

---MEANWHILE---

“Atsushi-kun became small.”

Dazai, Chuuya, and Akutagawa turn around to see Kyouka resting a hand against a tiger that was a head taller than her, curled around and rubbing their chin against the top of her head.

“Huh, you’re right.” Chuuya remarks as they walk over. “Last I remember, the tiger kid is a lot bigger than this. Probably two-three times bigger?”

“And usually he wouldn’t want to keep this form on for much longer,” frowned Akutagawa, reaching a hand to pet the tiger’s head who chuffed happily under the attention. “Nor does he seek much affection.”

Dazai sighs in a fond manner, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head. “My my, Atsushi-kun. I suppose us coming to the zoo would have done something.” He reaches a hand. “Now come on, stop playi—”

Dazai’s eyes snapped open to come into contact with soft fur, and… nothing else. Chuuya, Akutagawa, and Kyouka stare with wide eyes at the Dazai and the tiger, the brunet’s hand firmly planted on the tiger’s head all while the animal chuffed happily at the new contact and rubbed itself against his head.

“He didn’t change back.” Kyouka instantly snapped her head to give Dazai a blank but threatening stare. “Why isn’t Atsushi-kun changing back?”

Dazai just stared and pulled back and used his other hand. Nothing. No bright flash of light of No Longer Human canceling out Beast Beneath the Moonlight, no human under his hand, and the tiger just being happy in their company. And last they remembered, Atsushi woke up on his wrong side in the closet that gave him a bad knick in his neck, causing him further aching that he more or less brushed off, albeit with a grimace and a bad mood.

That was actually the entire reason Dazai decided to drag him invite him on a trip to the zoo, and may as well bring the two mafiosi and Kyouka.

“Wait a second, isn���t there a white tiger enclosure?” Chuuya asks, looking at them. “Do you think the tiger kid is able to sneak off and another tiger just started following us?”

“Or maybe one of the keepers mistook Atsushi-kun if he did turn into a tiger,” Kyouka suggests.

“Does this count as another Jinko-kidnapping?” Akutagawa inquires.

“Boy, your boyfriend is missing!” Chuuya scolds and promptly bonks him on the head.

“This zoo is massive, and it’s closing soon.” Kyouka adds.

“Guess we have to go and see,” sighs Dazai.

“YOU TOO, S--TTY MACKEREL! FOCUS!”

“Ow, ow, Chuuya!”

“Come on, move it! Gosh, are me and Kyouka-chan the only ones worried about this or something?! YOU TWO ARE HIS BOYFRIEND AND MENTOR, DAMNIT!”

“Aww, but we get to see you’re caring side more~”

“DAZAI-”

“You really have to stop provoking him, Dazai-san.”

“It’s mostly empty, guests are leaving because of the early closing.” Jirou said as she looked around.

“But that would be easier, right?” Midoriya asks.

“I guess,” hums Kaminari.

The tiger looked around, letting out quiet roars and sniffing the air.

“Hear anything?” Midoriya asks.

The tiger shook its head and pawed at its face, moaning and shaking its head more.

“Too many smells,” Todoroki suggests. “They must’ve come from somewhere else.”

“Hey, we’ll help you buddy.” Kirishima pets the tiger’s head, smiling reassuringly. “But I need you to be real with me; can you actually understand us?”

The tiger looks at him and looks at the rest who all looked back. Sheepishly, it nodded.

“Did you come with people from outside the zoo?” Midoriya asks.

Another nod.

“How?” Asui asks, confused.

“Are you someone’s pet? I feel like rich people are able to own tigers or lions or just exotic pets.” Uraraka whispers, staring at the tiger. Instantly the tiger recoiled, growling threateningly. “Not a pet, not a pet! Sorry!” she panics. “It has too much human sentience for a tiger. And to be fair, I don’t think anyone would want to be called someone’s pet.”

“That’s cringe,” Kaminari blurts out.

“But it’s odd that you can both understand us and respond as if you are a human.” Midoriya said, looking at the tiger.

“Ah, there you are Atsushi-kun!”

They all turn their heads to see four people also with a white tiger walk over.

“There you are!” Midoriya exclaims in relief, opening his arms and letting the small tiger barrel into him.

“Who?” Uraraka asks, confused.

“Atsushi-kun,” the short girl said, pointing at the large white tiger.

“You… named your tiger Atsushi?” Kaminari asked, confused.

“No no, you misunderstand.” the brunet smiles. “This tiger here is actually my mentee!”

“But it’s a tiger.” Bakugou glares.

“Nope!” He reached over and booped the tiger’s nose.

A bright flash of blue light caused them to look away, but when they looked back, there stood a young man with platinum blonde hair in one-sided choppy bangs, bi-colored purple and yellow eyes that could parallel ametrines, and a face entirely red in embarrassment.

“A-Apologies for all the trouble I’ve caused,” he bowed his head.

The students all stared with their jaws to the ground while the white tiger happily trotted over and nudged against him. They blink in slight surprise before smiling quietly and pets the tiger.

“W-Wait- What?” Kirishima asks, confused. “Is that your Quirk?”

“Quirk? Oh no, not that. Something different.” the man smiles. “But anyways! We shouldn’t keep you long, nor should we overwelcome our stay. Best we be off now!”

And with that the brunet ushers his group off. And calling over his shoulder, “And please do keep an eye on your little tiger! They’re quite curious creatures.”

At the mention, Midoriya looks to where he last saw the tiger only to see an open space from where it stood.

“Oh no, not again!”

(A/N): This helped my crossover brainrot, don't mind me-

[operation-penguin]

So I was looking up why the heck would KJ leave his beloved peeps to join the zoo (cuz I didn’t really understand that as a kid either) and I found a lotta explanations but this one struck me??

Now am confusion

So among the fandom the general opinion is that tpom is a separate universe, an au of sorts.

ahkj and the movies (+specials) can all be reasonably fit into a timeline, but tpom just can't be put anywhere. During the first movie, the penguins want to escape so why would they go back to the zoo in tpom? Also, they don't meet King Julien until they arrive at the island, there's no it could take place before the movies. Also also there's no way King Julien could have left Madagascar (unless Timo or smart Mort helped him, but why would they do that lol) until the penguins met him.

Something that always struck me is the use of language while referring to the gods in the lemur's pantheistic religion. During ahkj they are the "sky gods" and the movies (if I remember correctly) simply just "gods". But in tpom they're only referred to as "sky spirits", and although "god" and "spirit" are used in the same way I think it's worth pointing out as it's another thing to add to the list of discrepancies. So with those 2 points in mind, it's a reasonable assumption to say that tpom is separate from the main timeline. Different voice actors could also be taken into account but that's more meta, so I'll leave that up to you if you want to count that as major point number 3.

In my opinion, the multiverse theory seems to be the most logical interpretation, especially with the knowledge of a multiverse already being cannon in both tpom and ahkj.

With that said I do not like it, my head cannon (aka the timeline I used for my fic) goes as follows: AHKJ -> mada 1, 2, 3 (+specials) -> tpom (tpom movie is not real I am ignoring it). Basically everything is the same as cannon, except at the end of mada 3, KJ and friends have no idea how to get home and the penguins just kinda go "aw fuck it, let's make out base at the zoo." And since the penguins are staying King Julien, Maurice, and Mort (the sweetest baby boy sugar bottom sweet pea angle), all are stuck in New York and just decided to make the best of it. This could also explain why King Julien is more of a cunt in tpom. I love him but he's more problematic than Mort, the way he's written is so ignorant and uncaring compared to ahkj. It could be argued that unlike ahkj he's not the main character, but to me it feels so dramatically different. His shift in personality could be due to loss of control of his life, he simply cannot return to his peeps, so now he's bitter and has just accepted the zoo life. This of course also effects Maurice and Mort, but more so Maurice who is treated less as a friend and more as a servent (not always tho, they still have sweet moments), Mort is basically treated the same in all versions of cannon.

But there's another inconsistency that needs to be addressed: the penguins of Madagascar movie (tpom movie). I'm at a loss with this movie. Not only is it my second least favorite (right under mada 3 for obvious reasons), but it makes no sense. Ignoring all my issues with it and focusing on lore, where the fuck does this fit in??

The wiki claims that it takes place after mada 3 but this doesn't track. The penguins are shown as kids and presented in this found family kind of light, which is sweet.... But they aren't themselves in my opinion. Skipper is way to much of a dumb ass, it's like he just can't be bothered to give a shit, they make private a fucking baby incapable of doing anything on his own until the end of the movie, and Rico/Kowalski are just there????? If you watch the first 3 movies and follow it up with tpom movie, none of the penguins behave the same. I just hate them so much in this film. Mada 3 and tpom movie fucked up everyone's personality. In mada 1-3 the penguins are shown as more of a military like squad, still found family but not as gushy and sugary sweet. Operation Penguin (game boy game from 2005 showing the events of mada 1 through private's pov) delivers a more accurate portrayal of these fucking birds than their own movie. They're just a group of 4 penguins that work together and love eachother but not in the big dramatic gushy way like tpom movie shows.

BUT WAIT. HAHAHAHAHAH. This isn't over. In Operation penguin, there are more inconsistencies. Gonna just make a list:

1. King Julien has no crown

2. Private is aware of at least one of his blood relatives (his father, Sam Fishy. Meaning Private's full name is "Private Fishy")

3. Private is sent to defeat the foosa ALONE

4. Maurice is missing, King Julien and Mort are the only 2 lemurs shown in the game

5. Kowalski ALSO knows at least one blood relative (cousin Jeffrey)

6. Number 2 and 5 imply that half of the penguins have memories of being in Antarctica. If private hatched on the iceberg in mada 3 he woULDN'T FUCKING KNOW WHO HIS DAD IS AND HE WOWULLF. RBD. GFH KS M EV B , ...,.ZZMS..E. E

In conclusion, any media that is Penguin centric can't fit into mainstream cannon, so believe whatever the fuck your heart tells you to. Most probable is that Movies + specials + ahkj, tpom, topm movie, and Operation penguin (and other games probably) are all parallel alternative universes only available to us through Mort's ability to transcend beyond one universe.

Btw Kowalski likes soap operas.

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: The Penguins of Madagascar

We've finally reached another Dreamworks spinoff, this time focusing on that lovable flock of flightless agents from the Madagascar trilogy. It kind of just makes sense to give the Penguins their own movie, ya know? They're really fun characters to watch in short bursts in the original movies, but how well do they fare as the stars of their own film? Let's get into it.

We pick up after the events of Madagascar 3, with Skipper, Private, Kowalski, and Rico facing the menacing Dave, an octopus who was scorned by the penguins becoming more popular than him back at the New York Zoo. Now, he vows revenge against all penguins, and it's up to our squad to stop his schemes, while clashing with the rival agency, North Wind.

It's a pretty fun setup with a pretty fun execution, all things considered. It's well-paced despite its fast moving action sequences and its just as quickly paced (and often very over the top) sense of humor. It's tone skews very silly, perhaps even sillier than the already very silly Madagascar 3, and yet... I think it works. The Penguins themselves are already pretty over the top personalities, so putting them in a plot like this and just letting them do their thing works so well to the movie's advantage. Even so, I think it might have just been a little too... ridiculous at points for me, and while some of the jokes are really great, others skew a little... low brow (some potty humor here and there and a few gags that outstayed their welcome).

Still, I do like the Penguins as characters in this. They're a bit less compitent than usual, but that makes sense; we wouldn't want them as sharply skilled and successful here as they were in the Madagascar trilogy, otherwise we wouldn't have a conflict. The emotional journey here definitely focuses on Skipper and Private, with Private yearning to be viewed as a valuable member of the team and Skipper learning to appreciate him as just that. It leads to some genuinely sweet moments between them, I think. As for our new characters, we have North Wind, and they're just... ok. Not a whole lot to them, each of them are pretty one-note and they're just sort of there to be rivals, later allies for the Penguins.

As for our villain, I really liked Dave! He's a petty bitch and matches the comedy of this movie perfectly. Since he's an octopus, they were really able to flex with him in the animation department, so not only is a fun antagonist to listen to, he's even more fun to watch in motion.

The animation itself is pretty good. Like I said, lots of fast-paced action befitting the kind of hijinks the Penguins usually get up to. Nothing too impressive here, again, aside from the animation on Dave, which is genuinely unhinged and I love it. The music is also pretty good, with a lot of that snazzy spy jazz you're probably used to from a movie like this.

So yeah, the Penguins of Madgascar is pretty ok, though I don't think it really matches the quality of any of the other Madagascar movies that came before it. It's just a nice, fun little romp of a film that doesn't really do or say a whole, because, well, it doesn't really need to. It is exactly what it says its going to be, an adventure with the Penguins and Madagascar. And I think it does a pretty good job of being that.

Overall Rating: 6/10

Verdict: Consume a bag of delicious Cheesy Dibbles

Previous Review (How to Train Your Dragon 2)

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[snorlaxlovesme]

HI HELLO MAY I ASK MORE

38. What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

i'm greedy

38. What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

i'm glad it clarified "posted" story (i literally have a unpublished wip titled "self-indulgent wes and soul BS" because it's a sequel to ANOTHER wip, also not finished. that fic is my personal playground). ANYWAY. ignoring the fact that ALL my fics are self indulgent, More Confused Than Usual [x] is probably the best example of one. for starters, it's Pokemon, a fandom i rarely write for. it's also contestshipping (May x Drew), a couple i have only absorbed through fanon because I never actually...watched Advanced Generation? i've seen clips but i've watched maybe ONE episode feature May and Drew from start to finish. and thirdly it's tropey as hell. who doesn't love a good amnesia shenanigans fic? the writer i mentioned in your previous ask, Bittersweet Romanticide? she'd write something like this. THAT's probably why i love it.

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fic?

the last two fics i've posted both have the tag "food as a metaphor for love" which i found very funny in hindsight. is this my niche? i also love writing that gray area of love where 2 characters would die for each other but also have never come close to confessing their feelings or even admitting they HAVE feelings. my aroasexuality loves putting a lid on ANY concrete evidence of romance in my fics. YES these characters share a love that's strong enough to move mountains, to traverse oceans, to wage wars. no, they probably won't kiss.

72. What's your favorite writing compliment you've gotten?

any time someone tells me that my writing has like, existed somehow outside of their phone or laptop i lose my mind a little. like my baseline assumption is that people read my writing, then solemnly nod their head, think "hm.", and click the kudos button. so when someone tells me that my writing made them cry??? made them laugh out loud in class?? that they talked about my story with another human person? idk, it makes it feel more real. a real human person read something i wrote and somehow it caused a physical reaction out there in the world somewhere. isn't that weird?

79. Do you have any writing advice you'd like to share?

i think my favorite piece of writing advice is that "write what you know" is terrible advice. or terribly reductive advice. whenever professors at my college would trot around that piece of advice with no follow-up i'd get so mad. like you want me to write what i know?? my day-job is Maid and my night-job is Couch Potato. i clean toilets and go home and watch TV. what the hell do i know? and who'd want to read that? it felt like i wasn't allowed to go beyond that in my writing because i didn't have experience with it. then i took those Stief courses and got BETTER writing advice. when writing what you know, you should be writing the EMOTIONAL TRUTHS you know. you don't need every character or situation to be 1 to 1 comparable to your life, but if you want what you write to believable then try to find the emotional truths within that situation that are. ex: an original concept i've toyed with is a story where the world fast-forwards a whole year in the blink of an eye. as in, the entire world FORGOT what happened in the past year, and now is struggling to pick up the pieces of their new lives. people have moved, gotten new jobs, broken up, had children etc. and have to grapple with these changes they have no context for. the main character? a woman who works at the penguin emporium at the zoo. she puts on a scuba suit and sucks up fish guts and penguin shit from the bottom of the tank. she teaches little kids about penguin gestation periods. the conflict? all of her co-workers and loved ones have dramatic Leap Year conflicts except for her, because her life doesn't appear to have changed at all. i have never experienced long or short term amnesia. i have not and never will work as a penguin shit vacuumer at a zoo. this is very outside the realm of my expertise and has required a lot of youtube video research about penguin care. it SHOULD fall outside of my WWYK bubble, but that doesn't matter! the emotional truth is something that resonates with me deeply, as a late 20s woman who had felt stagnant in her life while other people were changing rapidly around her. are the readers going to get caught up in the penguin details, or are they going to relate that the book shelf they've been planning to build for months is STILL sitting in its box a year later, while their neighbor just got engaged AND promoted? that they STILL leave their clean laundry on the chair in their room instead of folding it, but their favorite co-worker doesn't actually work with them anymore because they transferred to the department they've always wanted to work in? i could have my character be space alien. a deepwater fish. a Vegas showgirl. that stuff is all window dressing if i can still get THAT emotional truth across. THAT'S writing what you know. and i can know all of that from my night job sitting on my couch.

[pansexualkiba]

i love how utterly fucking abysmal The Wild (2006) is. it's a horrible movie, and not even in a fun way. it's agony to watch. literally don't watch this movie. it's like. okay hold on.

so we all know how Disney's business plans worked in the late nineties to mid oughts, right? here's the big three:

appeal to the teens. because, ysee, word on the cool cat street was that disney just wasnt jivin with those rad hip youngsters, the teens. this was because then-CEO michael eisner learned his teenage son thought disney was like, soooo whatever. so in order to appeal to a wider demographic that potentially had money to spend on disney, Eisner would purposefully have things appeal to teens. or, at least, a 40-year-old's idea of what teens were like in the 1970s.

one-up Dreamworks Pictures. any disney fan will tell you that Michael Eisner and Jeffery Katzenberg were BEEFING, and this was reflected in the Disney-Dreamworks feud, not LEAST of which was that Dreamworks was created because Katzenberg was passed up for CEO in favor of Eisner.

jealousy. the most famous examples of this are Disneyland's California Adventure (a famously California-themed area in the California Disney park in the middle of the California-themed California) and Animal Kingdom (an entire third zoological park built just thirty minutes away from the famously safari-themed Busch Gardens (complete with live giraffes!) in Tampa, FL). if someone else did an idea, Eisner would try to have Disney do it better.

we caught up on that? good. most of you will be pointing something out by now: Eisner left disney in late 2005! The Wild was released in 2006! there's literally no way he could have been involved! which, ignoring how long movies take to make, COULD make this whole thing not an issue... except for one little event that happened in 2005. a little Dreamworks movie that was taking america by storm. the little-known snuff film... Madagascar (2005), released by Dreamworks to insane success. kids LOVED Madagascar, they loved King Julien, they loved the funny talking animals, they loved the use of old songs for fun interstitial plot beats, and they ESPECIALLY loved those silly little spy penguins. critics thought it was juvenile, however, so Madagascar now sits at a middling, but still positive, 55% critical reception on RT.

for a fun game, imagine for yourself what The Wild, released by Disney in 2006, could have a rating of. Go ahead, without looking it up, guess. we'll come back to that.

now, what i'm saying here isn't substantiated and the timeline doesn't exactly work, but hear me out. The Wild was often criticized for ripping off not only similar to Madagascar, but also The Lion King. Disney and Dreamworks's little pissing contest wasn't exactly subtle, and Eisner's jealousy when he saw how that stupid little animal movie was going over like gangbusters would've been enough for him to greenlight a similar idea, but with that little disney twist. and then he left, like a rat on a ship.

let's discuss the plot of The Wild.

we hear Samson the Lion start with telling someone a story about a previous fight he had had in The Wild, which is apparently just Africa. the logo is happening, yknow with the little firework line making an arc over the castle? except the much-younger teenage son then keeps interrupting by saying he's heard this story, and the firework keeps getting pulled back to the start in Comedic Fashion. the story is about how Samson, who apparently has sonic fucking roars, sent a bunch of wildebeests flying into the horizon, but then they had a big beefy furry wildebeest in the background who was like 46 feet tall. the son, Ryan the Lion, says he can feel the roar coming up, and Samson tells him to let loose, and Ryan does an alley cat soundbite because they didn't want to go to the Central Park Zoo and record actual lion cub noises.

By the way, this movie IS, in fact, opening in the Central Park Zoo. because we couldn't be more obvious. Samson the Lion is appropriately very famous, but not more famous than Nigel the Koala (voiced by Eddie Izzard), who is the basis of "the most popular doll in america", a pullstring plush koala that has two phrases: "I'm so cuddly; I like you!" and "I'm having a really nice day!". anyways, similar to madagascar, when the Central Park Zoo closes for the night, all the animals just get out and mingle. every single animal has a very distinct accent for some reason, as well??

anyways we're at this point introduced to the other main characters and their running jokes: Benny the Squirrel, whose joke is that he can't take a fucking hint; Bridgette the Giraffe, who is every sitcom woman in one and the unwilling target of Benny's affections; Nigel, who is extremely surly and the worst character in the movie; and Larry, a burmese python whose running gag is that he's stupid but sometimes he says something smart.

i'd like to just take an aside here to tell you all that Larry, despite being the idiot comic relief, ended up being my favorite character in the entire movie because the movie keeps forgetting he's supposed to be stupid?? like he'll just keep being very observant, but because every so often he'll drift into a nonsequitor all of his friends will angrily tell him to shut the fuck up, but it's like - bro he's the only one who's making sense. like at the end of the movie he puts forward an idea and before anyone can respond he goes "yeah, yeah, i know, shut up Larry :(" and it's like. bro get better friends.

anyways through a wacky series of events, Ryan's attempts to stop his friends from causing a Gazelle stampede cause the gazelles to stampede, and despite all of Ryans efforts to stop the stampede he caused, they run through the Turtle Curling competition the Samson is trying to win, costing Samson the Big Game, which means we gotta have Samson and Ryan having a big fight. i should mention that Ryan is insecure that he can't roar despite literally being prepubescent, and Samson is just like "are you acting up all because you can't roar?!" like DUDE THAT IS YOUR SON AND HE IS EIGHT. HIS VOICE HASN'T EVEN CRACKED YET.

Ryan then runs off to the green shipping crates that are being sent to New York's Harbor, and Samson and Benny go off to save Ryan after the workers somehow fucking miss the lion cub sleeping in broad fucking daylight. the dynamic duo is then joined by Bridgette (who knocks Benny off the truck), Nigel, and Larry. we then get a montage set to, and i am not fucking kidding, Clocks by Coldplay, where the animals experience the mysteriously-empty Times Square for the first time. more uhhhhh Wacky Hijinks ensue, and the rescue party are too late to get onto the cargo ship heading to africa, so they COMANDEER A PONTOON and tail the ship - after Benny rejoins them.

and here's where it gets to the point where i realized this movie was trying TOO hard to be dreamworks. if you'll recall, dreamworks likes to sneak in adult jokes, like famously Shrek looking at Duloc and going "do you think he's compensating for something". yknow, little innuendos like that.

Benny, having ridden in on a flock of Canadian Geese that mysteriously vanish after this scene after being hired as navigators, turns to Bridgette and, in an attempt to flirt with her, says that he's an expert goose rider, and that he rides bareback, and then slaps his flank.

it was becoming clear to me that every character was slowly becoming unmanageable to feel sympathy for.

after what would be, realistically, a few months - much too long for a pontoon to remain fueled, and WELL too long for a ship with passengers and sans supplies to remain populated, they reach the shores of Africa, which is... well it's not the shores of Madagascar, despite it literally being exactly like that scene in Madagascar where the animals are beholden to the rich jungles of madagascar. but for some reason this area of Africa not only has rich jungles, but ALSO an ACTIVE VOLCANO centrally located in the jungle. this is the purpose of the green transport crates: the wild animals are being rescued from an impending eruption. this is never brought up, but Ryan confuses the situation despite spending LITERAL MONTHS on that ship and potentially- actually

now that i'm writing this out, HOW DID NO ONE ON THE FUCKING SHIP. NOTICE THEY HAD AN ADOLESCENT LION CUB ON THE- THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE EMPTY CRATES. THEY WOULDN'T HAVE. NOTICED THE. LION CUB???? PROBABLY MEWLING FOR HELP???? IN A CONTAINER WITH OPEN-AIR WINDOWS????? BRO????

anyways Ryan runs into The Wild, and Samson and friends run after Ryan but lose him somehow. Samson, whose main character trait is that everyone else is saying that he always talks about being a real child of the Wilderness (notice that Samson himself never backs this up), eventually comes clean about his past after a scene with a hyrax that goes WAY too long in anyone's opinion - Samson was sold to the zoo after being raised in the circus. Samson was Ryan's age, as in like eight years old, when he was forced to attempt to roar in front of an audience, and when he couldn't because he was eight, he was SOLD TO THE ZOO. and his father's parting words were "if you had been born in the wild, you would have been able to roar" LIKE SIR YOUR SON IS STILL A CHILD DOMESTICATION DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T FUCKING- HELLO???

anyways everyone treats this as some Big Betrayal, and Samson goes off on his own to find Ryan. meanwhile Nigel gets kidnapped by wildebeests.

yes, there are wildebeests living in this fucking jungle.

Nigel is then brought to the ACTIVE VOLCANO, where the WILDEBEESTS HAVE STARTED A DEATH CULT. they are led by William Shatner Wildebeest whose name i have forgotten because despite being the main antagonist he was revealed fifty minutes into a seventy-minute movie. turns out, one of those Nigel dolls fell off of a cropduster plane over this nondescript african jungle, interrupting a lion hunt against this wildebeest despite the fact that neither of these animals live in the jungle. the pullstring then scared the lions into fleeing, and Shatbeest took this as an OMEN FROM GOD to START A DEATH CULT where ALL WILDEBEESTS WILL BECOME CARNIVORES AND ALL LIONS WILL BECOME HERBIVORES. also he made a whole song out of the "I'm having a really nice day!" voiceline complete with choreography. this is somehow not only plot important but also instrumental in his downfall.

anyways Nigel immediately gets drunk with power because he has no morals and is the worst character in the movie.

the wildebeests kidnap Bridgette and Larry and knock Benny out. have you noticed Benny just keeps getting put offscreen so he can solve the plot later? anyways Samson hallucinates dr seuss colors because he's activating his "predator instincts" to find his cub, which - red flag - but it also works. and then the wildebeests kidnap ryan after throwing Samson off a cliff, and you would not believe how much i wanted him dead so the movie would be over.

it was around this time that i realized i would much rather watch cars 2 again. my girlfriend had long since admitted that.

Benny wakes up in the middle of a bunch of German scarabs (who are all like. yodelling milkmaid types?????) who thought he was shit, and tbh yeah good call, but anyways Benny wakes up Samson who is somehow completely unharmed from being dropped off a cliff with an entire tree on top of him. Samson then has a tangible hallucination pointing them to the volcano, which he and Benny both see.

Nigel meanwhile actually has to weigh the pros and cons of siding with the wildebeests and watching them cook and eat his friends, or saving his friends. Shatbeest meanwhile REALLY wants to eat a LITERAL COWERING CHILD.

outside the volcano, we find out that Samson's hallucinations are a LITERAL LEGION OF SECRET AGENT CHAMELEONS who are trying to get people to defeat the wildebeests - which, like, WHY DID YOU NEED THESE TWO YOKELS???? YOU'RE LIKE. THERE'S A WHOLE JUNGLE OF POORLY-PLACED ANIMALS. THERE ARE OTHER LIONS IN THE JUNGLE SURELY. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIONS IN THE FLASHBACK??

anyways the chameleons can make benny and samson invisible by covering them and going transparent. obviously.

the finale is incredibly like. it's such a nothing finale. the chameleons barely factor into it?? like Benny and Samson are just suddenly there, and Shatbeest keeps physically overpowering Samson and later Ryan, but Shatbeest angers the other wildebeests because one of them couldn't get the choreography right and so he's kicked towards the sacrifices as one of them. and then Ryan is like "aw dad... i wish you had the father i had. :(" which like. WHEN was it explained to you what happened with your dad. you were JUST told that your dad was born in captivity you don't know WHAT HAPPENED you just IMMEDIATELY went to being mean to him. and that inspires the wildebeests to turn on Shatbeest because this is the lion king so we gotta have that hyenas eat scar scene. but then the volcano, the LITERAL ACTUAL VOLCANO EVERYONE'S BEEN INSIDE OF THIS WHOLE TIME, starts to erupt, and Shatbeest is crushed under rocks.

everyone gets to the pontoon, and Samson, Ryan, the group, the wildebeests, and for some reason the chameleons all escape just as the island erupts, and it's like, fuck all the other bitches right? anyways then we have a heartfelt moment immediately undercut by the animated movie dance party ending where Nigel the koala just starts twerking. Benny stops being sexist out of complete nowhere despite never learning his lesson and this is completely undercut by Bridgette kissing him and revealing she was into being objectified this whole time, she just wanted Benny to be Woke about it. every single character in this movie was awful (except Larry i just feel bad for him) and in my mind the movie ends with that fucking pontoon sinking in the middle of the atlantic for exceeding its weight limit.

it's such a nothing movie. every scene feels like it's from something else. my girlfriend maintains that everyone who defends this movie is a corporate shill. my experience with this movie was i watched it multiple times as a kid, and i had somehow convinced myself this WASN'T a disney movie and was instead made by one of those low-budget studios that makes a single animated film before vanishing forever. it feels like a parody of itself, like someone had made a prior movie that doesn't exist that they then warped with ten consecutive funhouse mirrors.

it feels like michael eisner's teen son tried to make madagascar but Edgy.

and now we come back to the fun game from before the cut. what was the number you came up with on rotten tomatoes? what would rotten tomatoes rate this movie that has effectively been scrubbed from disney's records? Madagascar has 55%, what could its ugly step-reflection be?

...well that's not good.

[kylosbreedingkink]

Zookeeper questions!

Tell me all the insider secrets about penguins (they are my favorite animal so I have to know lol)

Do you prefer working with reptiles or amphibians?

What animal do you want to see in more zoos?

What is your favorite bird to watch?

What is your favorite bird to work with?

If you could add one exhibit to your favorite zoo what would it be?

Penguins! They are bitey little shits. I have scars. They smell bad, as they are a fish eater, too. And when they fight the blood.. it's horrific. I once worked with a penguin who had her lower mandible bisected down the middle due to a fight. She coped well with it but it did not look nice. We called her shit beak as she had a shit beak. Personality wise she was actually quite nice.

I have worked with Humboldt penguins which aren't monogamous like the talks in zoos claim they are. They will for sure have a preferred mate and may stay with them year on year but male penguins will go around and fuck other female penguins. They don't care. I don't think this is what makes them nasty though that's just penguin life. I once knew a penguin that had his main girl in one burrow that he would share incubation with and then a side girl in the burrow next door who he would leave to incubate alone. But he also liked to try fuck his own father, that one.

Also preparing fish and having fish scales stuck in your hands and down your nails even somehow when you wear gloves!

I like reptiles for sure but preference is amphibians. I spent a few months when recovering from an appendectomy working in the amphib room at a zoo I used to be at. It was awesome. Mostly dart frogs but other great species like multiple newt species and things like lemur leaf frogs. Also globally amphibians are under major threat right now due to chytrid, a fungus that can kill them and is spread super easy. One of many reasons why you should always clean and disinfect your hiking boots I think, to try minimise the spread.

I would like to see more galliformes in zoos. A great group of species that can add a lot to the atmosphere of a zoo and need a lot of help for conservation.

You can never ever go wrong when watching ducks, finches, or gulls. Always something going on. At the start of the year I was at a wetland site where a bunch of ducks were trying to sleep but a gull decided to walk in the middle of all of them, waking them up. Ducks clearly unimpressed. Full clearly didn't give a fuck.

Favourite bird to work with.. difficult to answer without making it easy to be doxxed. I always get excited about partridges and railidae species though. My next job has no partridges but has 2 rail species so looking forward to that.

Idk what my favourite zoo would be. But I always said if I made my own zoo I would start with an exhibit based on the Himalaya region, with a focus on Nepal and some great conservation work going on there, to try raise funds and awareness

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Zoo Masterlist

A Visit To The Zoo - doomedhowell

Summary: Phil loves photography. It’s been his hobby for as long as he can remember. After being in America for six months, he comes back home and visits the zoo with his family. There, he meets a cute zookeeper and they hit it off instantly.

A Zoo Covered With Fog - crescendohowell

Summary: In which Dan and Phil visit the San Francisco zoo.

Birds of a Feather Steal Together (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan never expected anything remotely interesting to happen during his summer job at a petting zoo. But when he catches a boy with bright blue eyes and a cute laugh trying to smuggle a bunch of ducklings out of the farm, things take a much more interesting turn…

Confiscated Phones and Interesting Bones (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil take their kids to the zoo.

Holding on Tight, Sleeping at Night (ao3) - dannihowell (anotherdaughter)

Summary: After a long day at the zoo, the Howell-Lester kids are a little cranky.

i want the life i never had (ao3) - bugselfs

Summary: “I’m nervous,” she admits. “But it’ll be okay, right?”

Dan smiles at her. “Of course it will,” he promises. “And if everyone hates you and you have no friends because your old ones have all left you for the popular kids, you’ll still have me. And Miss Margaret.”

“Oh, great,” Sophia says dryly, cutting into her breakfast. “Good to know my only friends will be my geeky dad and the crazy cat lady that lives next door.”

“We don’t say crazy, Sophia. She’s eccentric.”

POV: Your 11 year old daughter wants to see the penguins but you just want to stare at the guy feeding them.

Playful At The Zoo (ao3) - phancuddleswithstyles

Summary: Phil drags Dan along to the zoo, but Dan has other plans than to just look at some animals.

some day (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Phil takes Dan to the zoo on his twentieth birthday.

Still Hearing Voices (ao3) - coffeephan (expensiveharry)

Summary: Dan can feel things starting to get bad again. Phil takes him to the zoo about it.

Strangers (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan is new to london and living in a mostly empty flat, desperate to forget the mistakes of his past. he’s all alone – until one day he gets a piece of mail addressed to someone in the neighbouring flat, one mr. philip lester. he can’t exactly not return it, can he?

The Wonders of Rhinoceroses (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan has a day off where he decides to go to the zoo. There, he finds something cuter than baby elephants.

This Day Was Actually So Perfect (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil convinces Dan to go to the zoo and then watch a movie with him. They have the best day together.

What Makes You Happy (ao3) - AmbroseRivers

Summary: Each time Dan meets Phil, he falls a little deeper (and he wonders how he got so lucky.)

Zoo Madness - dxnhowell

Summary: Dan takes his twelve year old son to the zoo for his birthday, and things take an interesting turn when they meet one of the men who work there.

[plutonium12]

A - Age: 16 A - Annoyance: people repeating themselves multiple times. 

B - Best feature: my very enthusiastic tone B - Beer: = bear? B - Birthday: december 6th

C - Crush: what if i crushed you like a bug under my shoe C - Car: i dunno im not a car guy C - Candy: starbursts

D - Day or night: night D - Dogs or Cats: CATS LETS GO CATS WOOOOO

E - Egg nog: probably gross  E - E-mail: no 

F - Favorite color(s): green and black  F - Favorite Band: smash mouth and foo fighters

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: gummy bears >:) G - Giver or taker: GIVER !!!!!!!! G - Gum: i hate gum

H - Hair Color: brown H - Height: 5′2 H - Happy: :D

I - Ice Cream: salted caramel OR cookie dough I - Instrument: guitar ! I - Idol: edd :)

J - Jewelery: yes ! necklaces and bracelets and rings, also im hoping to get my ears pierced soon ! J - Job: i want one.  J - Jail: not until 3004

K - Kids: not yet, ill probably adopt tho K - Kickboxing or karate: i want to try kickboxing, it looks fun K - Kindergarten: it was chill from what i remember but i accidentally flipped off a kid i think

L - Longest Car Ride: 6 hours? 8 hours? smth like that

M - Milk Flavor: regular??? M - Most missed person: lee :((( M - Movie Last Watched: avatar 2

N - Number of Siblings: 2 brothers N - Number of Tattoo's: 0 N - Name: plutonic plutonium pluto plu pluton

O - One wish: that my online friends could live next to me :) O - One Phobia: agoraphobia  O - One regret: not joining many clubs last year and not talking very much, i try to make up for it now by putting myself out there

P - Part of your appearance you like best: my silly face hehe

Q - Quick or Slow: im hella slow like i can understand things just give me a few minutes 

R - Reason to smile: my friends, eddsworld, spy x family, old dsmp streams, wilbur soot, and saiki :) R - Reality TV Show: none.

S - Song Last Heard: maneater  S - Season: winter S - Shoes: checkered ! 

T - Time you woke up: 7:25 am T - Time Now: 9:39 pm T - Time for bed: 12 am usually

U - Unpredictable: maybe. U - Underwear: why do these things have no boundaries i mean SERIOUSLY

V - Vegetable you hate: all of them.  V - Vegetable you love: except for aparagus that one can stay V - Vacation spot: who freaking knows dude

W - Worst Habits: picking at my nails with my nails. its hard to explain but like i end up picking at my nails with my other fingers until the top part of it comes off W- Where are you going to travel next: to my bathroom  W - Weather: rain is nice to watch from inside my house :)

X - X-tra special someone: the pizza delivery guy 

Y - Year you were born: 2006 Y - Year it is now: 2023 Y - Yellow: like the coldplay song !

Z - Zoo Animal: the penguins are chill  Z - Zodiac: sagittarius ? Z - Zombie: AAAAA NOT MY BRAINZ !!!!!

[naamahdarling]

I need to walk for health because I'm not loving how I feel, but I over-exercised as part of my ED so exercise triggers my ED thoughts (including suicidal ideation) and the risk of relapsing is Real. Searching for a solution that won't push me into relapsing OR turbo-charge my dysphoria OR enrage me has been upsetting in a way I don't know if anyone who has not had an ED can understand. If you know, you know.

So I finally thought about the zoo, and it was such a great idea. It's perfect. So I went and got a zoo membership two days ago so I can just go whenever and I probably should not have spent the money but boyfriend made really good tips this week and offered to cover it, and it occurred to me this one thing does ALL of the following for one (1) entire year:

I can access a very walkable space.

Place to go when I am restless but can't afford to go back home for a while.

Not a gym.

My hearing-impaired ass will be safe from car traffic.

No dogs.

No people on bikes that I can't hear.

Not jostling for space with joggers/bikers/etc. on those overly narrow public park trails and sidewalks, which makes me hate my body even more.

It's very very safe. No harassment, no crime.

Very few other people visibly exercising.

Less people Looking At Me (they are mostly busy Looking At animals).

Lots of bugs.

Many plants.

Things to touch.

People-watching.

Place to draw many things! <- Main appeal.

Non-zookeeper staff there is mostly queer! And when they learn you are queer they tell you which animals are gay.

It's the penguins. They have gay penguins.

Sneps.

Stared at by tigers -- all the intensity of being about to die with none of the fear!

Smells smells smells! Stinky smells, good smells, food smells, flower smells, lots of animal smells.

Lots of personal space. Hand sanitizer everywhere.

No music outdoors.

Train?! Train!

Petting zoo.

Will acclimate me to weather and sun over time.

Free! Ish.

I can go and just take short trips if I want.

Picnic area.

Access to attached huge nature park and educational/rec center.

Can bring a friend.

Cheap admission to many other zoos and aquariums.

I have raging ADHD and don't have the dopamine to spare on exercise for exercise's sake. Some of you will know what I mean, will understand that this is. Just. A terrible hurdle.

Downsides:

Sunscreen. Blech! (Lotion is heavy and hurts to apply and remove but spray works.)

Long drive, I live across town. (Can't change that but I can get up earlier.)

Lots of glass and I hate reflective surfaces. (A Challenge, but I can hopefully cope.)

It is hot outside a lot (but that's true of anywhere not indoors, and there's tons of shade and benches and indoor areas).

That's it. Those are the downsides.

Our zoo is good. It used to be really bad when I was little but over the last 20 years it has been revamping everything, the new enclosures are gorgeous and enriching. It isn't depressing to be there. It's nice.

We went today and had a great time. It felt way better not trying to see everything in one go, and I'm not tired or sore. I just feel good.

I just...wanted to talk about this. How hopeful I am today, to have not just solved a problem but maybe snatched a little happiness for myself for a while. To potentially make any further headway on an ED at this point, 15 years or so out, is pretty remarkable. There's pitfalls to watch for but this is so much better than anything else I've considered.

Maybe I will get bored of the zoo. I don't know! But I think that will take a while.

Look at this bad picture of three snep siblings lolling like housecats:

Not gonna get bored of those mighty beans.