#who told you to think
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In America, all zebras are in the zoo And it's normal, and it's fine It will never make the news Your captivity will never make the news Suddenly conscious of the speed of my windshield wipers Before angry, let's be truthful I pause, "yo, this pain could be useful" Simply put, and we're faking rap together now Simply put, and we're faking rap together now
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Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
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Hot take: I actually think men and women are meant to work together and complement each other and not like,,, dislike each other and be divisive.
#gender wars#txt#unfortunately this is a hot take in today's world#specially on social media#“WeLl ACKShualLy-” you know some moron is gonna come up with an idiotic argument#that justifies why men and women MUST be separate#funny how all the people who claim to be logical and have excellent critical thinking skills throw it away when it comes to gender-related#discussions by any means necessary because they were told that they should discard all logic and be led by emotion for the “cause”
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listen I expected literally Nothing from the D&D movie okay, like I can't make it clear enough that I expected the most soulless money grab with a good cgi budget imaginable, I went in having already gone through every stage of grief and landed on acceptance and LISTEN
I fucking CRIED during this dumb RPG movie. it wasn't just "not terrible" it was objectively good with a clever plot and compelling characters and sincere emotional beats. this movie loves D&D so fucking much and it NAILS the "a bunch of goobers try to be cool and accidentally discover The Power Of Friendship And Also Great Violence" classic D&D party vibe. their barbarian's last name is fucking Kilgore and my entire family cried in the theater.
I hope they make twelve of these motherfuckers.
#honor among thieves#dnd#dungeons and dragons: honor among thieves#holga kilgore#she is a BARBARIAN whose name is KILL GORE like who among us has not been in a party with this exact character#some new player who picked whatever they were told was the easiest class and gave them a name that is 98% a joke#and just piggybacked their backstory onto the most experienced player's as like rp training wheels#and then smash cut 60 sessions later and we're all getting choked up over john dingus or whatever#do you motherfuckers know how rarely i cry????? about ANYTHING?????#god it was so good#i am going to watch this an unhealthy amount#i want a separate movie for every red wizard and also one about xenk's backstory#his name is X E N K with an X these writers have played some fucking DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS#do i have to buy dead in thay now?????? i think i have to buy dead in thay now#i literally ran dnd on friday and this movie put me in WITHDRAWAL i want to play some dnd Now
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Book 2 au: and there was only one bed!! :00
Because of course I just had to do this trope
This is the first and last time they decide to sleep in an inn and they have an unspoken agreement to pretend this never happened
#zutara#zuko#katara#atla#book 2 au#my art#i like to think katara is pretty clingy when sleeping cause she's from the south pole#and she's probably really used to cuddling in order to share body heat to get through the really cold nights#ofc she'd usually be cuddling up with her family and not the banished prince of the fire nation who's also pretending to be her husband#zuko on the other hand is not used to sharing a bed with anyone much less sharing his personal space and cuddling with anyone#but anyways zuko would rather die than admit he didn't mind it as much as he thought he would and that he slept comfortably well that night#to the anon that was just asking about this au this one's for you lolol#i told you i was just about to post something and here it is
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I wholeheartedly believe that the last thing that should be said in response to aspecs hating their identity is "don't worry! Aspecs can still do X, Y, and Z" and I'm so fucking serious about this.
The least helpful thing you can do to someone who have not accepted their aspec identity yet is give them ways to compensate for it. If an aspec person is upset over not being able to enter a romantic relationship, the last thing that should be done is to tell them they can still enter one or instead enter a QPR - not because that's not true but because that is quite literally going to stunt their ability to accept their aspec identity. Telling them they can instead enter a QPR when they're upset over the lack of romantic relationships is at MOST a bandaid for the main issue. Instead of them coming to accept their identity and accept who they are you have instead handed them an amatonormative alternative on a silver platter that allows them to pretend they still fit into amatonormativity without every deconstructing it. This is how we get QPRs getting shoved into an amatonormative framework - these people NEVER got over the "I'm sad that I'm aspec" phase because they were handed alternatives instead of given actual support in deconstructing their internalized aphobia, self hatred, and amatonormative biases.
#text#aspec#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#I'm not saying that bringing up the fact that aspecs can still interact in certain ways to be Bad or Wrong btw#I'm not saying we shouldn't talk about how some aspecs have sex or some have partnerships or whatever#but more just that the only response to people complaining about certain issues shouldn't only be “Oh but you can do x”#someone who is mourning the fact they dont fit into amatonormativity shouldn't be told “oh but you can fit into amatonormativity”#Like idk maybe there should be a discussion about how many people use favorability and partnering to avoid properly healing?#maybe there should be a discussion about how often people only accept aspec identities based on how closely they fit amatonormativity?#maybe there is a discussion about how other aspecs play into that and never actually leave their “sad to be aspec” phase#the fact so many can only “accept” their aspec identity when they are told that they can still partake in amatonormativity#like idk i feel like discussions can be had here and i think these sorts of discussions need to be had#especially if we ever want to be on the same page when it comes to dismantling amatonormativity
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Thanks.
Prev
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#comic#The 'Thanks' after all of that makes me so insane Im not even sure I can fully articulate why#I mean. He got what he wanted. Honesty. Thats what you wanted right Dev?#what else do you say to that#He's spent his whole life being sure he knew the answer. That deep DEEP down dale did love him#Have you ever seen that post thats like“I was bawling my eyes out and somebody told me to shut up and I was so taken aback I stopped crying#I think he was so stunned that he just stopped crying.#or like when you get so upset that your feelings turn themselves off to protect you#is that a normal thing that happens to people Erm. anyway#Sorry lol as someone born to parents who.. should not have had me. Writing dale basically admitting as much is actually really cathartic#He shouldnt have had Dev. He doesnt love him. He cant. Dev cant do anything to change it. Its just a fact.#Hes not 1:1 with my parents they tried their best ig but like. their best was still pretty awful child neglect LOL
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thinking about travelling-with-the-party loop doing things habitually without realising how deeply suspicious they are
#taking a break from kicking loop while theyre down to remember that deep down: they are a silly little guy. somewhere in there#anyway slot this into whichever ''loop joins the party but hasnt told anyone jack squat'' postcanon scenario you desire#they get midway through skinning it before remembering who they are and that this is absolutely deranged looking probably#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat odile#doodlebyte#i imagine siffrin probably isnt super chill with the hunting side of foraging postgame#but loop i think could be argued to be more desensitised and could probably take over the job if they still need it#they can occupy seperate ecological niches i think
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Danny, the Young Justice member snippet nr 3 GIW made a lot of mistakes and the biggest one was going against Young Justice part 1
As you can see by the title (I need better ideas, you're all welcome to share yours), this is kinda part of "Danny, the Youg Justice member" but as something I have more of actual idea about. So while I encourage people adding their stuff to other snippets, please let this one be. I will be adding to it. It's even partially written :D
unrelated snippet nr 1, unrelated snippet nr 2
"Hey guys" Danny greeted clearly winded, phasing through the wall. Whole Team turned towards him, some giving him a side eye “Sorry I’m late”
“You’re good, my dude” Wally answered, patting him on the back as soon as halfa landed, turning into his human form. They gave him a moment to catch his breath(just how fast he tried to fly there?) before grabbing their bags. Dick jumped and threw himself over the speedster's and halfa’s shoulders.
“Happy Harbour, we’re coming!” he yelled.
He fixed his grip when he caught Danny’s quick wince under the pressure as they left the headquarters. Judging by look on his face, Kaldur caught it too.
“So what’s on the agenda?”
“There is an amusement park in city, so we’re going to enjoy our free time there” M’gann explained with excited smile “I can’t wait to see it, I heard it’s fun”
Artemis nodded with a grin.
“I bet I can win more plushies than all of you. No powers,” she demanded after a moment, slamming her hand n a random tree for better dramatic effect.
“Stakes?” he asked, competitive like always. While blonde shared her idea of ‘no locker room duties for a month’, Danny explained all the questions M’gann asked about what even bet was and what stakes meant. Dick was sure she knew the answers to all of them but he didn’t say anything. He was trained well enough to catch Conner listening intently, despite his clear effort to hide it.
It turned into a whole Team competition.
It was going to be an aster.
***
M’gann was having a blast. Everyone already had two to four plushies, stomach full of unhealthy food and manageable nausea from the roller coaster. Wally and Danny were throwing popcorn to each other's mouths, Robin challenged Conner and Artemis to the next game. It really was fun just like she was told!
It was much less fun when literal blast shot a few feets away from them. Ground where it hit was burned. Halfa squealed, projecting a strong wave of distress. Without second thought he threw his hood on and changed his posture, frantically looking for a hiding spot.
Few children started crying, their families scrambling to get away before attackers started shooting again and hurt them. Workers, already used to working in less than ideal circumstances, quickly, but without panic warranted by recognised villains or outright invasion, shut down reinforced blinds and probably walked out to inform someone. At least they didn’t have to worry about potential civilian casualties.
“Do you know who they are?” M’gann asked, quickly establishing the Mindlink.
“Don’t worry about it” he answered, putting on crazy big sunglasses that Wally won some time before.
“My dude, we just got shot at. We have every right to worry”
“Calm down, Wally. I got shot at, you’re just close by. I’ll handle it” With a ruffle of his hair and a piece of popcorn thrown in his mouth,he turned around, just moment after the next blast almost caught his arm. He plastered a smile on his face.
“Hey, I’ve seen guns like these in laser tag! But I’ve never found them cheap enough to get without selling my kidney!” he yelled enthusiastically.
When the rest of them turned around, M’gann saw ten people in sunglasses and pristine white, holding guns straight from the mad scientist’s lab. THey stood still, projecting surprise bordering on shock. She could also feel hunter's happiness underneath it, intense enough that she considered breaking the ‘don’t mess with people’s brains’ rule. As a treat.
“Don’t worry guys, they won’t harm you. Act like you don’t believe you’re in danger. Like they're a bunch of LARPers or something” It was easier said than done, especially when Danny, who nearly always underestimated the danger, was so terrified.
“Who are they?!”
“Wally throw me a bit of popcorn, please” Halfa asked, ignoring Artemis almost yelling in their minds. In turn, he was ignored by the speedster. Three of the men turned to check something on weird sort of scanner. Danny's false smile went from cheerful to embarrassed.
“Dang me and my poor communication skills” he said, loud enough for men to hear but not enough to sound like he was talking to them, before asking louder “I meant to ask, where have you brought it and how much does it cost?”
This seemed to actually shake men out of their shock. They got furious.
“You won't trick us this time, ghost scum” one of the guys with a scanner snarled. Danny pursed his lips in childish gesture of displeasure.
“Rude much” he muttered as if he wasn’t shining with terror like a lighthouse. Robin perked up as if something got him curious.
“Wait, ghost? What do–”
“What are you cosplaying?” Artemis blurted out. Men got visibly angry but Danny smirked.
“Don't antagonize them,” Kaldur commended.
“If shit goes south I'll get you out of there, half a second flat” Wally offered.
“Thanks dude. Good job Artemis, they hate to be treated like a joke they are” halfa praised but out loud asking:
“Ghostbusters? No, they had different uniforms. But who else got a thing for ghosts?”
“Quit joking around, we caught you Phantom! You ran far from Amity Park but-”
“Who is Phantom?” Robin interrupted rudely (they deserved to be rude to them).
“Where is Amity Park, Utah? Cali?” Conner asked, adding fuel to the fire of chaos with barely contained glee. He liked messing with anyone even slightly resembling Kadmus staff and these guys marked almost all of the boxes.
“Illinois” provided chubby man who looked and felt like he didn't want to be there almost as much as they teens did. Danny relaxed slightly.
“Agent W you have no clearance to share this information“
“You were in Illinois and didn't tell me, Tommy?” M’gann finally spoke, jokingly punching his arm.
“I wasn't, I swear! I've never set a foot outside of this state in my life!”
“Quit messing around, you freak!!!” the guy, with the biggest ego and probably the leader, screamed.
“Can I please mess their heads up?” M’gann asked, pushing hope through Mindlink as hard as she could.
“Again, rude. What did I even do to deserve that?”
“Like you–”
“Operative K, I think they really don't know anything “ Agent W, the nicest out of the batch, interrupted “Maybe it left some ectoplasm on this boy to throw us off?”
“They called you it, Danny” Conner seethed, looking like only Kaldur’s hand on his shoulder was stopping him from punching all of them straight to the sun. M’gann was already reaching for their minds.
“We need to run a scan to be sure. Come here boy”
“Now, who are you?!” Robin got defensive, sliding to shield Danny from asiliants. Conner and Artemis joined him, so clearly furious that M’gann almost retreated from Mindlink. She wasn’t any calmer, it just felt overwhelming to be backed up by five other people.
“It’s classified”
Kaldur took a photo with an obnoxiously loud sound effect. Wally appeared right behind Danny, ready to evacuate him. Artemis barely kept herself from tackling the nearest ‘agent’ to the ground.
“What are you doing, boy?” Operative K splurted, absolutely flabbergasted.
“Calling the police”
“Why?”
“Robin, throw some laws, please”
“Oh, that’s easy,” the boy jumped in gleefully “You assaulted our friend and refused to state why you would have credentials to do so or even who are you. You carry modified weaponry openly in public and I doubt you have a permit, carelessly use it against minors, endangering innocent bystanders while we’re at it. You disturb public peace. I think that’s enough to get you arrested. Wait you know what, call ‘Supervillain emergency hotline’ instead, this is serious attack”
“Right ahead of you, already calling them”
It wasn’t that big of a problem even if someone tried to qualify this as spam. Young Justice Team was first to respond to all threats in Happy Harbour anyway.
Danny let out a low ‘uuuu’ with a smirk. Someone powered up a gun. Wally slightly raised halfa of the ground, ready to bolt.
“It’s okay young man,” the nice agent started, raising his hands in a placating gesture “We’re searching for a dangerous supernatural entity and may have overreacted. In our defense, Phantom is known to be tricky and we wouldn’t be surprised if it used human disguise to hide from us. Your friend gives off the same type of energy like what we use to track it so we assumed they’re the same. We’re sorry”
“Agent W you don’t have clearance to disclose that to-”
“Operative K, after the last few incidents we have to be more throughout before jumping to assumptions. Agent Gamma wouldn’t be pleased if your temper caused the next scandal,” Agent W look at them again, with a forced ‘warm’ smile “We’re really sorry for bothering you. We have reasons to believe Phantom is somewhere around but don’t worry about it, we will be on the lookout. If you see it, please contact us and we will take care of it” M’gann grabbed the ‘WANTED’ poster from man’s outstretched hand. She barely restrained herself from doing something irresponsible, like turning every man in white into a brainless vegetable.
“Later M'gann”
“But Robin…” she whined before sending a small laugh so they knew she wasn’t serious. She knew that Conner and Danny were anxious about this use of her powers.
Agent’s left and everyone relaxed. Wally put Danny back down and leaned back, jokingly rolling back his arms as if he got tired. Halfa stopped with a loud thump to sit on the ground. He was paler than usual.
Artemis shouted, alarmed.
“That was way too close” he started, aiming for a cheerful tone but missing by a mile “I’m fine, just need a moment to cool down. Sorry for that, guys. I thought I lost them over Ohio”
“That’s fine, personally I don’t care, we knew better than to expect a whole day without something going wrong, but who were they?” Wally asked, already back to eating popcorn.
Danny sighed, so deeply M’gann felt it in her bones even though she didn’t try to read him.
“I think this is the talk we should have in the Mountain”
#dpxyj#dp x yj#dc x dp#dpxdc#dp x dc#dcxdp#Danny actually told them he is halfa in this one!#Baby is growing hah#there will be more dramatic angsty part to it#since this is obligatory GIW fic#but for now it's just some fun#and my attempt at writing people roast other people#idk i find it funny#what do you think?#tbh I have much less to say in this one since it isn't finished and I don't want to spoil it#there will be another free to grab snippet soon#i won with my self created complications btw#wandixx writes#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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Tall trans girl reading this: you aren't too tall for heels. If you want to wear them, wear them proud. There is nothing more spectacular than a tall woman in heels, and nobody can ever take that away from you, not even yourself 🩷🪻
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#mtf#nonbinary#trans positivity#honestly my favourite kind of woman is somebody who's told 'arent you too tall for those?' when she wears heels...#...and the next day she shows up in even TALLER heels#sometimes womanhood is a huge 'fuck you' to people who don't get who you are i think#I LOVE YOU WOMEN... 💐💐💐💐🫶#(also this includes all type of heeled shoe. heeled boots are a great choice to start out ime)#(if you want to practoce wearing heels without Wearing Heels get platform boots imo)#(i think a big reason i can wear actual heels is that i wear heeled platform boots daily)#(and it really helped me get used to how heels feel without the fear of heels that are really thin)
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
#red said#it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong#this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT#because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION#i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered#but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances#then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING#i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened#because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman#b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening#c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much#it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'
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a what-if i've been thinking about for forever... trucy knowing the truth before anyone could tell her
#trucy wright#apollo justice#ace attorney#.png#ough ough ough how many times has she helped 'ruin' someone's life...#like what if when she was so desperate to help phoenix get acquitted she gets hit in the face with the realization that#she might just be ruining her new-found brother's life too#so yeah. how would she even bring that up#haha hey polly. remember that time i handed you fake evidence. well did you know i saw your bracelet and remembered my mom had one too. fun#by the way did you know she told me she had two and gave one to her first-born who she lost a long time ago#like do we know how much trucy remembers about their mom. no! that's why i think this could work#ough i've wanted to make this comic for so long but i never knew how to format it#well i drew the first panel as warm-up and then was like. why not go all the way....#that way i'd be forced to really think about composition
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it's kind of baffling to me that entire sub-groups of queer folks endured a decade of being singled out and targeted for being asexual, aromantic, bisexual, pansexual, nonbinary, polyamorous, etc. and i have yet to see any substantial apologies from people who were directly responsible for causing genuine harm. i find it completely bizarre that there are so many people who want to sweep their past contributions to widespread lateral aggression toward specific queer groups under the rug like it didn't happen so they can wash their hands of it... there are people who are irreversibly traumatized because of this. there are people who took their lives because of it.
i'm wording the post like despite the fact that exclusionism targeting these groups (and more) continues to persist partly because it was a really frighteningly common trend to harass people just because they were ace, aro, bi, pan, nonbinary, poly, etc... and it's crazy to me that many of the people who were affected by this massive multi-pronged public online bullying campaign against the 'unacceptable types of queers' are the ones still receiving messages like "my url got put on an aphobe blocklist in 2016 because apparently a post i made making fun of asexuals got some teenage asexuals harassed and i still distrust asexuals to this day because of that" ...are you fucking kidding me?
we will never achieve any kind of unity as a queer community while we are insisting upon ignoring the hurt that lateral aggression has caused, and acting like the burden lies on the shoulders of the people who were harmed to forgive the people who harmed them and 'just move on', many of whom are not sorry for what they did! or they don't consider what they did to be wrong! how is that not deeply disturbing and troubling to more of you?
03/06/2024 edit: i’m putting a complete moratorium on this post because i am really sick and tired of having my point not only completely misconstrued and distorted entirely but also weaponized against transfems (particularly in replies i have decided to delete about how “ugh yes, exclusionism, and now transfems are bullying transmascs”) i find that really sickening and i’m demanding that it stop, and i can make it stop by turning off reblogs. so i have.
my objective in writing this post was never to request an apology from people who have been laterally-aggressive exclusionists in the past. i don’t think we’ll ever get more than a handful of apologies from those people, anyway. my point was that it was pretty terrifying to witness and experience a lot of lateral aggression that transferred from the real, in-person world to the deeply online spaces back into the real, in-person world in a really fucked up feedback loop and being a young queer person during this time and having that shape me, snd shape the experiences of my queer friends who have been traumatized by it.
however, it is absolutely unacceptable to me that the issue of transmisogyny is so blatantly overlooked by our entire community. for decades, transfems have experienced oppression and exclusion from transmisogyny-exempt women and queers. their exclusion from political queer liberation movements has caused many of the major schisms within our community we are still having arguments about to this day. if you want collective queer liberation, you must uplift transfems. there is no other option. you don’t get to write off all transfems just because one person who happened to be transfem was mean to you online or something.
i have answered and responded to way too many conspiracy-brained transmisogynist reactionaries to allow this post to keep fucking snowballing with people writing paragraphs in the tags about “transmisandry” or “transandrophobia.” please get your heads out of your asses.
this absolutely is the transmisogyny website, as always, and the place where all basic textual comprehension skills go to die, apparently.
#and we wonder why the fuck this site has such a massive transmisogyny problem#don't think i wasn't there when you were harassing and bullying my pan and aspec transfem friends#the way that trans people with any of these labels were excluded from being 'allowed' to call themselves queer...#literally on that basis. and had their transness ignored completely or invalidated.#i hope we're at a place now in 2024 where we can remember and accept that trauma happening online doesn't make it less traumatic#the damage that it did to so many of my friends and myself to be told over and over again we didn't count as queer#while actively being abused and beaten and harassed by queerphobes in our real day to day lives#extra especially for those of us who had to grow up rurally and/or disabled whose portal/lifeline to queer culture of any kind was online
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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being physically disabled as a young adult after being an physically active child in and physically active family, who still participates in the online spaces for physically active hobbies but cannot participate physically means… i’m a living nightmare. i talk to people who share this interest with me, and my existence is their worst nightmare. they see my crutches and hear that i cannot walk far or climb a ladder and think, thank god it isn’t me. my existence is horrible and unimaginable to able bodied people.
#i’ll never forget the guy who when i told him i was physically disabled and couldn’t walk much but could walk with aids#he said ‘oh that’s not that bad!’#he meant it genuinely and i understand where he’s coming from#but man#tell me you know nothing about disability without telling me you know nothing about disability#i just agreed and moved on but it stuck with me#cripple punk#cpunk#disabled#physically disabled#physical disability#spoonie#fibromyalgia#vent#this is a vent post#vent post#you can ignore this#this is about urbex but i don’t think it’s relevant so i won’t tag it#okay to reblog
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At some point in your life, there will be a moment where exactly - or near exactly - half the people in the world are younger than you, and half the people are older.
And I think that moment should be the one your soulmate Mark appears at, not at birth or puberty or something. Both because at birth is kind of boring but it's also very you-centric and soulmates are about the thing outside of you being a part of you, and I think it would be nice to include The World.
But also I think it would have fascinating implications for scientific and social studies. Longevity trends tracked by the average age soul marks appear. Tragedies causing a rash of recent marks to disappear (because the people are no longer the middle). Marks appearing early during baby booms.
#soulmates#i just think it would be neat#and let people survive their teenage years#and discover who they are before they get told who they're matched with#gives everyone a chance to fall in love naturally#AND best of all#it means YOUR mark may appear now but if your soul mate is younger than you#it wouldn't appear for them yet#meaning a new dynamic and honestly less stress i think#because if you fall in love with someone not your soulmate you wouldn't necessarily know#unless you were the exact same age somehow#which tbh since soulmates isn't romantic a large portion of the time#twins probably share a mark#in this world you can have as many soulmates as you want btw#you can have pets be soulmates too but their mark appears when#they're the middle point for their species#i should really sleep#nightblogging
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