#and let people survive their teenage years
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kedreeva · 5 months ago
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At some point in your life, there will be a moment where exactly - or near exactly - half the people in the world are younger than you, and half the people are older.
And I think that moment should be the one your soulmate Mark appears at, not at birth or puberty or something. Both because at birth is kind of boring but it's also very you-centric and soulmates are about the thing outside of you being a part of you, and I think it would be nice to include The World.
But also I think it would have fascinating implications for scientific and social studies. Longevity trends tracked by the average age soul marks appear. Tragedies causing a rash of recent marks to disappear (because the people are no longer the middle). Marks appearing early during baby booms.
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coldflasher · 3 months ago
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started rewatching arrow and far be it from me to defend oliver queen but what the fuck is wrong with this man's family?? your missing son comes back from what you believe to be a five-year stint on a completely deserted island. alone. zero human contact and no concerns other than survival. and you want him to put on a suit and be in charge of a company despite having no education or training and being freshly returned from said deserted island
HELLO? do they realize what a miracle it is that this man is even coherent. he's riddled with ptsd! moira is like "oliver i am deeply disappointed that you didnt experience personal growth during your five-year survivalist nightmare. i thought you would come back and somehow not only be normal but also socially well adjusted." like madam the fact he is walking and talking and wearing clothes and acting fairly normal is astonishing in and of itself. he's been eating birds and sleeping in a tree. what does this man know about shareholders and ROI
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minakoaiinos · 8 months ago
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Animating this season like you can't have the slightest bit of jest and god forbid jesting about yaoi
#can't even jokingly say slurs like saying fag instead of drudge wasn't The joke#like ciel took his earrings out at school right he was trying to be normal at normal boy school and they are all using slurs in their...#...everyday social setup their whole social world within the school at least relies on every important guy having a guy who will do...#...anything for him which is literally ciel's entire bit but normie#anyway whatever i am not going to explicate every joke at play here but what really annoys me about the shojo sparkles joke getting cut...#...is that it's being used in different places like vincent got shojo sparkles yesterday and ciel's at the beginning but like that is...#...supposed to be the joke-y indicator this is NOT normie shojo school so why did these have to get animated so FLAT#like you mean you can't imply any subtext about ciel bc it would be problematic. this is a story that is literally ABOUT people playing...#...at who they are not. the whole series and every character is set on that premise. and you're going to cultivate an environment where...#...viewers accept that any kind of subtext at all is inherently problematic and needs cut from the story#like they could have cut more and i am interested to see how they're going to handle things like ciel getting carried off of the field. but#it's more uncomfortable to me to be like no being a gay teenager is inherently problematic actually he can't be gay but he can be...#...straight engaged to his cousin in earnest even though the narrative has established how that is fake too.#and not dipping into the whole sebastian thing fully but then you have a setup where you have made it unacceptable to tell any gay story...#...that might be slightly problematic even though here it genuinely is a lot of subtext you have to understand that there is subtext to get#and there is the element here with them too where they are liars and they are playacting. that's part of what makes the story so complex...#...and interesting!! is trying to decipher who is lying and why the world they live in makes them have to lie to survive#it's doing a massive disservice to this story to approach it from the angle of someone might think on that too hard and think it's...#...inappropriate :( let's be the yen press and tweet something about sebastian being a mom so no one has to question what they're looking a#in a STORY THAT'S ABOUT QUESTIONING THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT#i don't even care about shipping this is just cultivating a massive media literacy problem where you are being encouraged to take a story..#..at face value and you can't make dark jokes and you can't make stories about problematic gay people#it also bothers me bc this story has been really popular in japan for like 20 years without the mass public being in a constant state of...#...is this demon his boyfriend or dad :( like they're just fucking watching it ahdjrf#that also bothers me bc it's like you guys can't engage with any grey area relationship in a story where it doesn't fit into a box#but anyways why can japan engage with it to make it as popular and long lasting as it is and not everyone else don't say bc japan is...#...full of freaks who only like freak stories. this is also symptomatic of things i have complained about elsewhere on this blog that us...#...dub culture has cultivated an environment where us normal cool americans are going to tell freakish japanese people how to engage...#...with their counterculture cartoons in the Right way without ever having to engage with another country's culture or a story in general.#my kuro posts
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nellasbookplanet · 11 months ago
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Book recs: black science fiction
As february and black history month nears its end, if you're a reader let's not forget to read and appreciate books by black authors the rest of the year as well! If you're a sci-fi fan like me, perhaps this list can help find some good books to sink your teeth into.
Bleak dystopias, high tech space adventures, alien monsters, alternate dimensions, mash-ups of sci-fi and fantasy - this list features a little bit of everything for genre fiction fans!
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For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!
If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!
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Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor
Something massive and alien crashes into the ocean off the coast of Nigeria. Three people, a marine biologist, a rapper, and a soldier, find themselves at the center of this presence, attempting to shepherd an alien ambassador as chaos spreads in the city. A strange novel that mixes the supernatural with the alien, shifts between many different POVs, and gives a one of a kind look at a possible first contact.
Nubia: The Awakening (Nubia series) by Omar Epps & Clarence A. Hayes
Young adult. Three teens living in the slums of an enviromentally ravaged New York find that something powerful is awakening within them. They’re all children of refugees of Nubia, a utopian African island nation that sank as the climate worsened, and realize now that their parents have been hiding aspects of their heritage from them. But as they come into their own, someone seeks to use their abilities to his own ends, against their own people.
The Scourge Between Stars by Ness Brown
Novella. After having failed at establishing a new colony, starship Calypso fights to make it back to Earth. Acting captain Jacklyn Albright is already struggling against the threats of interstellar space and impending starvation when the ship throws her a new danger: something is hiding on the ship, picking off her crew one by one in bloody, gruesome ways. A quick, excellent read if you want some good Alien vibes.
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Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*
After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Includes darker examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.
Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson*
Utterly unique in world-building, story, and prose, Midnight Robber follows young Tan-Tan and her father, inhabitants of the Carribean-colonized planet of Toussaint. When her father commits a terrible crime, he’s exiled to a parallel version of the same planet, home to strange aliens and other human exiles. Tan-Tan, not wanting to lose her father, follows with him. Trapped on this new planet, he becomes her worst nightmare. Enter this book with caution, as it contains graphic child sexual abuse.
Rosewater (The Wormwood trilogy) by Tade Thompson
In Nigeria lies Rosewater, a city bordering on a strange, alien biodome. Its motives are unknown, but it’s having an undeniable effect on the surrounding life. Kaaro, former criminal and current psychic agent for the government, is one of the people changed by it. When other psychics like him begin getting killed, Kaaro must take it upon himself to find out the truth about the biodome and its intentions.
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Do You Dream of Terra-Two? by Temi Oh
Young adult. A century ago, an astronomer discovered a possibly Earth-like planet. Now, a team of veteran astronauts and carefully chosen teenagers are preparing to embark on a twenty-three year trip to get there. But space is dangerous, and the team has no one to rely on but each other if - or when - something goes wrong. An introspective slowburn of a story, this focuses more on character work than action.
The Best of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord
After the planet Sadira is left uninhabitable, its few survivors are forced to move to a new world. On Cygnus Beta, they work to rebuild their society alongside their distant relatives of the planet, while trying to preserve what remains of their culture. Focused less on hard science or action, The Best of All Possible Worlds is more about culture, romance and the ethics and practicalities of telepathy.
Mirage (Mirage duology) by Somaiya Daud
Young adult. Eighteen-year-old Amani lives on an isolated moon under the oppressive occupation of the Valthek empire. When Amani is abducted, she finds herself someplace wholly unexpected: the royal palace. As it turns out, she's nearly identical to the half-Valthek, and widely hated, princess Maram, who is in need of a body double. If Amani ever wants to make it back home or see her people freed from oppression, she will have to play her role as princess perfectly. While sci-fi, this one more has the vibe of a fantasy.
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An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship’s leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship’s sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.
Where It Rains in Color by Denise Crittendon
The planet Swazembi is a utopia of color and beauty, the most beautiful of all its citizens being the Rare Indigo. Lileala was just named Rare Indigo, but her strict yet pampered life gets upended when her beautiful skin is struck by a mysterious sickness, leaving it covered in scars and scabs. Meanwhile, voices start to whisper in Lileala's mind, bringing to the surface a past long forgotten involving her entire society.
Eacaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus duology) by Nicky Drayden
Seske is the heir to the leader of a clan living inside a gigantic, spacefaring beast, of which they frequently need to catch a new one to reside in as their presence slowly kills the beast from the inside. While I found the ending rushed with regards to plot and character, the worldbuilding is very fresh and the overall plot of survival and class struggle an interesting one. It’s also sapphic!
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Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah*
In a near future America, inmates on death row or with life sentences in private prisons can choose to participate in death matches for entertainment. If they survive long enough - a rare case indeed - they regain their freedom. Among these prisoners are Loretta Thurwar and Hamara "Hurricane Staxxx" Stacker, partners behind the scenes and close to the deadline of a possible release - if only they can survive for long enough. As the game continues to be stacked against them and protests mount outside, two women fight for love, freedom, and their own humanity. Chain-Gang All-Stars is bleak and unflinching as well as genuinely hopeful in its portrayal of a dark but all to real possible future.
Parable of the Sower (Earthseed duology) by Octavia E. Butler*
In a bleak future, Lauren Olamina lives with her family in a gated community, one of few still safe places in a time of chaos. When her community falls, Lauren is forced on the run. As she makes her way toward possible safety, she picks up a following of other refugees, and sows the seeds of a new ideology which may one day be the saviour of mankind. Very bleak and scarily realistic, Parable of the Sower will make you both fear for mankind and regain your hope for humanity.
Binti (Binti trilogy) by Nnedi Okorafor
Young adult novella. Binti is the first of the Himba people to be accepted into the prestigious Oomza University, the finest place of higher learning in all the galaxy. But as she embarks on her interstellar journey, the unthinkable happens: her ship is attacked by the terrifying Meduse, an alien race at war with Oomza University.
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War Girls (War Girls duology) by Tochi Onyebuchi
In an enviromentally fraught future, the Nigerian civil war has flared back up, utilizing cybernetics and mechs to enhance its soldiers. Two sisters, by bond if not by blood, are separated and end up on differing sides of the struggle. Brutal and dark, with themes of dehumanization of soldiers through cybernetics that turn them into weapons, and the effect and trauma this has on them.
The Space Between Worlds (The Space Between Worlds duology) by Micaiah Johnson
Multiverse travel is finally possible, but there’s a catch: No one can visit a world where their counterpart is still alive. Enter Cara, whose parallel selves happen to be exceptionally good at dying. As such she has a very special job in traveling to these worlds, hoping to keep her position long enough to gain citizenship in the walled-off Wiley City, away from the wastes where she grew up. But her job is dangerous, especially when she gets on the tracks of a secret that threatens the entire multiverse. Really cool worldbuilding and characters, also featuring a sapphic lead!
The Fifth Season (The Broken Eart trilogy) by N.K. Jemisin*
In a world regularly torn apart by natural disasters, a big one finally strikes and society as we know it falls, leaving people floundering to survive in a post apocalyptic world, its secrets and past to be slowly revealed. We get to follow a mother as she races through this world to find and save her missing daughter. While mostly fantasy in genre, this series does have some sci-fi flavor, and is genuinely some of the best books I've ever read, please read them.
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The Women Could Fly by Megan Giddings*
In an alternate version of our present, the witch hunt never ended. Women are constantly watched and expected to marry young so their husbands can keep an eye on them. When she was fourteen, Josephine's mother disappeared, leveling suspicions at both mother and daughter of possible witchcraft. Now, nearly a decade and a half later, Jo, in trying to finally accept her missing mother as dead, decides to follow up on a set of seemingly nonsensical instructions left in her will. Features a bisexual lead!
The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden
South African-set scifi featuring gods ancient and new, robots finding sentience, dik-diks, and a gay teen with mind control abilities. An ancient goddess seeks to return to her true power no matter how many humans she has to sacrifice to get there. A little bit all over the place but very creative and fresh.
The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson*
Young adult. Young artist June Costa lives in Palmares Tres, a beautiful, matriarchal city relying heavily on tradition, one of which is the Summer King. The most recent Summer King is Enki, a bold boy and fellow artist. With him at her side, June seeks to finally find fame and recognition through her art, breaking through the generational divide of her home. But growing close to Enki is dangerous, because he, like all Summer Kings, is destined to die.
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The Blood Trials (The Blood Gifted duology) by N.E. Davenport
After Ikenna's grandfather is assasinated, she is convinced that only a member of the Praetorian guard, elite soldiers, could’ve killed him. Seeking to uncover his killer, Ikenna enrolls in a dangerous trial to join the Praetorians which only a quarter of applicants survive. For Ikenna, the stakes are even higher, as she's hiding forbidden blood magic which could cost her her life. Mix of fantasy and sci-fi. While I didn’t super vibe with this one, I suspect fans of action packed romantasy will enjoy it.
Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delany
1960s classic. Rydra Wong is a space captain, linguist and poet who is set on learning to understand Babel-17, a language which is humanity's only clue at the enemy in an interstaller war. But Babel-17 is more than just a language, and studying it may change Rydra forever.
Pet (Pet duology) by Akwaeke Emezi
Young adult novella. Jam lives in a utopian future that has been freed of monsters and the systems which created and upheld them. But then she meets Pet, a dangerous creature claiming to be hunting a monster still among them, prepared to stop at nothing to find them. While I personally found the word-building in Pet lacking, it deftly handles dark subjects of what makes a human a monster.
Bonus AKA I haven’t read these yet but they seem really cool
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Lion's Blood by Steven Barnes
Alternate history in which Africans colonized South America while vikings colonized the North. The vikings sell abducted Celts and Franks as slaves to the South, one of which is eleven-years-old Irish boy Aidan O'Dere, who was just bought by a Southern plantation owner.
The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow
Young adult dystopia. Ellie lives in a future where humanity is under the control of the alien Ilori. All art is forbidden, but Ellie keeps a secret library; when one of her books disappears, she fears discovery and execution. M0Rr1S, born in a lab and raised to be emotionless, finds her library, and though he should deliver her for execution, he finds himself obsessed with human music. Together the two embark on a roadtrip which may save humanity.
Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase
Lelah lives in future Botswana, but despite money and fame she finds herself in an unhappy marriage, her body controlled via microchip by her husband. After burying the body of an accidental hit and run, Lelah's life gets worse when the ghost of her victim returns to enact bloody vengeance.
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Orleans by Sherri L. Smith
Young adult. Fen de la Guerre, living in a quarantined Gulf Coast left devestated by storms and sickness, is forced on the run with a newborn after her tribe is attacked. Hoping to get the child to safety, Fen seeks to get to the other side of the wall, she teams up with a scientist from the outside the quarantine zone.
Everfair by Nisi Shawl
A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.
The Splinter in the Sky by Kemi Ashing-Giwa
Space opera. Enitan just wants to live a quiet life in the aftermath of a failed war of conquest, but when her lover is killed and her sister kidnapped, she's forced to leave her plans behind to save her sister.
Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: The City We Became (Great Cities duology) by N.K. Jemisin, The Lesson by Cadwell Turnbull, The A.I. Who Loved Me by Alyssa Cole
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yeyinde · 5 months ago
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(sighs dreamily) i loooove the way you write fucked up and gross simon. the size kink and somno drabbles have been living rent free in my mind for almost two weeks now. the recent stalker piece was also so deliciously terrifying, i actually had a dream/nightmare today that was a mixture of stalker!ghost and not-dog!soap 😭
are you planning on writing any more for either of those?
ahhh thank you!!!! this had me wondering how i could maybe blend the two and this happened.
stalking. HEAVILY implied noncon somno. size difference.
Simon decides your dog, your baby, needs a man in the house. and since you like to call yourself his 'mama,’ then it’s only right that he becomes the daddy both of you need.
Your dog does not like strangers.
He's a rescue and the sort of life he lived until now, until you, is mostly a mystery. You found him on a rainy day, panting under your awning - a gnarled mess of matted fur glued to bone. Too skinny to survive another winter. You took him in right away and gained his trust. His love. But whatever he had left to spare (lots, it seems) is strictly reserved for you. Everyone else is a threat, a worry. Even the vets he's known since you found him all those years ago still get the same wary glances, the same growls then they lean in too close to whisper something in your ear.
He's just—special. The sweetest thing ever when it's just you. Your baby. People joke—slightly nervous—that he treats you like his mother. Following you closely with his big, glossy eyes tilted up to stare at you. Loving. Cuddly. Rests his big head on your lap at night with a great, big sigh. Tired from a long, hard day of protecting his house from squirrels and the stray delivery driver.
But when it comes to others—anyone, really—he’s aggressive. Territorial. All the vets and trainers say that it's his breed. That he just needs to be trained. Exposure therapy. Behavioural. And it works for all of two weeks before he's back to his stubborn self. Snapping at anyone who gets too close to you.
You post warnings on your fence. Your front door. Take precautions when you walk him. Warn anyone who gets close that he doesn't like anyone. Full stop. No exceptions. And it works. Helps ease the stress. He still goes to therapy. To training lessons. But he's smart enough to trick them into thinking he's learning.
And it's fine. People can't get too close to you. To his house. His territory.
Or so you thought.
But he's been acting strange lately.
You caught him barking at something through the fence a few months ago; spittle flying from his muzzle as his lips peeled back, snarling and vicious. If the fence wasn't reinforced, you think he would have broken it down to get at whatever was behind it.
It continued like this for a few days. Each time you went to check and see what was there, all you find is littered cigarettes. The teenage son of your neighbour, you think. He likes to hide in the dense woods so his parents can't find him. You'll talk to him about it later. Ask if he can do it a little further away from the fence so he isn’t disturbing Baby. 
As the days grow, his growls and snarls diminish before stopping outright. In the interim, your unease grows.
It's small—at first. 
He wants to be outside more. Always whining at the back door, scratching at it with his paw. When you let him out, he runs right to that spot by the fence. Sits down, and just stares. When you go out to look, there's nothing there. Just a dark, sprawling coppice. Cigarettes on the ground. But something catches his attention. Keeps it. Holds it.
He leads you to that spot sometimes, too. Nudges you with his big, furry head to your thighs. Shepherding you to the fence, and then sits back, clearly preening. Proud.
"You're mama’s silly boy, aren't you?" you coo, scratching his ears. It must be the neighbour. Maybe a stray deer wandered by. You catch a flash through the tree line. Twin puddles of black peering through the tangled weeds. Your dog perks up, looking towards it. A deer, you think. A stray buck. You huff, patting his head. "Made a new friend, huh?"
But you can't shake the feeling that something else is out there. That something is staring at you.
Nothing, you tell yourself, fighting off a shiver. It's fine. Fine. He sneaks off at night sometimes. You hear him playing in the hallway. Wandering around the house. The tack-tack-tack of his nails against the hardwood as he walks back to your bedroom lulls you back to sleep. You feel the bed dip. Something warm against your back. You sigh, melting into the sheets—
There's nothing to worry about.
He'll protect you.
But the next morning, you find him locked outside. The patio door shut. The deck is dried from the sun, but his fur is wet. It rained last night. You drifted in and out to the patter of it on your window. The soothing weight of his body curling around you—
He must have gotten out in the morning. Rolled around in the grass. But when you put him in the tub later to scrub the rainwater off of his cost, his belly is dry.
It's nothing. He was in bed with you last night. It's fine. Fine. Everything is easy to explain away as coincidence. Nothing usual. The feeling of being watched. The missing food from your fridge. The creaks of the old house at night. Things shifting around—keys missing only to turn up somewhere else. Rodents chewing through your landline. 
The panties you shed, tossing into a corner before getting into the shower going missing—
They’re just—lost in the wash. You must have thrown the leftover food away when you cleaned earlier and forgot. The lingering scent of cigarettes. Smoke in your bed. The cloying scent of loam, humus. Fresh dirt. The stains on your bed. The strange smear in the gusset of your panties when you peel them apart.
Something thick, firm between your thighs—
Fine. You tell yourself. Everything is fine. At best, it's a gas leak. At worst—well.
Baby will protect you. 
Always. 
But the next day, he brings his favourite toy to the back door, asking to be let out, and this isn't—
It's not normal.
He's possessive over his toys. Keeps them on his daybed and refuses to let anyone touch them. Only you. He doesn't bring the. Outside, either.
But when you peer outside a few minutes later, the toy is lying by that spot near the fence. He's sitting down, tail wagging. Happy. Excited. It continues like this for the next few days. He brings his toys to the fence, coming in later, licking his lips. When you brush his teeth at night, you smell something gamey on his breath. Meaty. 
Getting out of bed a few hours later and playing in the hallway. Going to sleep with you at night, but somehow getting out in the early hours of the morning, waiting for you on the patio when you remember the huff of his breath over your neck less than an hour ago—
No. You're just—
Getting the time wrong. It's fine. He'll protect you. He doesn't like anyone but you.
You hear footsteps in the hallway at night next to the click-clack of his nails. When you jump out of bed to check, it's just him. Sitting by the back door, head craned over his shoulder when he heard you coming. His favourite toy is sitting on the ground in front of him. You fight a shiver. The feeling of eyes burning into you churns your stomach.
"I'm going crazy, sweetheart," you coo, but feel the threads of your sanity begin to snap one by one. "But you'll keep me safe, right?"
His tail wags. You pretend not to notice the gap in the patio door. Opened just a crack. You shut it, forcibly telling yourself to remember to close it next time and fight the memories of locking it before settling on the couch to watch old re-runs. You drag him back to bed, burrowing your head into his fur, listening to the thud-thud-thud of his heart in your ear. 
When you dream that night, it's of a big, scarred hand making its way between your thighs. A rasping, masculine voice in your ear commanding you to be good—
You wake up with your thighs sticky, wet. Your cunt pulsing. There's an ache there; a sting. It twinges when you move, tapering into a sore throb as you swing your legs over the side of the bed, woken up by the strange dream—fingers between your thighs, a head resting on your belly, calling you a good girl—and a noise.
A low murmur comes from the living room. You wince with the first several steps, forcing yourself to ignore the uncomfortable feeling between your thighs. The wetness that drips down your leg, some of it already dried, sticking to your skin. It’s fine. You just had a—
A wet dream.
—everything is fine. Fine. Your heart lurches. Lodges in your throat. Each beat feels like a fist against your tissue trying to break down the prison of your flesh to flee. 
You slowly inch toward the hallway, the sound, making excuses for the fear that curdles in your belly. The itch in the back of your head that calls you stupid. Demands you go back to bed. To sleep. You’ll wake up in the morning to Baby slobbering over your chest, drooling as the time ticks away in a slow crawl towards his usual breakfast. 
It’s tempting. The sleep congealing in the corners of your eyes, weighing heavy—molasses-thick—over your sense of awareness: cobwebbed in that strange, uncanny realm of sleep and wakefulness; hypnagogia turning shadows on the walls into human shapes. The whisper of wind into the brassy drawl of a voice. 
Through it all, the prickle rears. Says something isn't right. Hasn't been right for a while now. It's fine. Everything is—
It doesn't make sense at first. Your brain tries to wrap around the images your eyes feed it. Untangling the dizzying sense of confusion that runs along your hindbrain like a jagged knife; grazing tissue, scraping over nerves. The picture comes together quickly. There's no misinterpreting the shapes.
A man is lounging on your couch. Legs kicked up on the coffee table, ankles crossed. The remote is held in one hand as he lazily flicks through the channels on your television screen. The picture of ease. So relaxed, so comfortable in your space, that you begin to feel a little bit like an intruder. A voyeur peering between the curtains.
This feeling is reinforced when you peel your eyes away from the horrifying mask on the man's face—a black balaclava—and find your dog lounging beside him. Resting with his head over this stranger's thick thighs. His head perks up when you approach, tail wagging, but he doesn't get up from his spot. Content to bask in the half-hearted attention the man doles, a hand buried in his fur. Dragging over his ears. Down his back. Monotonous flicks of his thick wrist, nearly the same width as the barrel of a baseball bat.
And that just trembles down your spine in the worst way.
He's the same height as you are sitting down. Takes up two cushions on the couch with his absurd bulk. Massive, you think. And then it all rushes through you. The knife slips into your cognisance.
There's a man in your house. Petting your dog,
your dog who tries to bite the same vet he's had for years. Who trusts, who likes, no one but you—
You make a noise. Something strangled in the back of your throat. Muffed, unable to escape through the clot of your heart getting there first. It tangles around your pericardium and is too late to take back. To swallow down. 
It doesn’t matter, though. 
The man has been watching from the beginning. 
Dark eyes (a dark, black flash between the leaves—) drill into you. Staring. That familiar, unease feeling is back again, creeping up your spine. It's been him the whole time, you know. The thing behind the fence. Must be. The same brand of cigarettes you found on the opposite side is sitting on your coffee table, right beside his feet.
His chest expands with his inhale. You smell stale smoke. Something wild. The scent of the forest after a summer's rain shower.
"Finally up, are you? Thought you were gonna sleep all day." His voice is deep. Brassy. The growling roll of an approaching thundercloud. You shiver. Jerk back, but—
Baby growls.
He's never done that before. Never barked. Never snarled. Never nipped.
But right now, his teeth peel back, muzzle wrinkling as he lifts his lips. And you know it's playful. Seen this look on his face when you throw the ball across the yard. It's just him being his silly self. He won't attack you. Won't maul you. 
The man lifts his hand and your dog limbers up. Shakes. He jumps off the couch and trots toward you. Nothing is threatening in the way he moves. It's the same lumbering gait, the same happy wag to his tail, but he moves himself around you. Stands between you and the only escape.
"Baby—?"
"Taught 'im a few tricks," the man drawls conversationally—like he wasn't a stranger in your house. "Got a good boy on your 'ands. Jus' needed a bit o'trainin'—”
He snaps his fingers and Baby moves. Bumps his head into the back of your thighs. Pushing you. Nudging you toward the man. It’s so horrifying familiar that you find yourself moving without a thought. Following along. 
"He jus' needed a man in the house, didn't he? A father figure—" 
You're going to be sick. Think you would have been already if your heart wasn't lodged tight in your throat, keeping everything down. 
The man lifts his hand. Curls his fingers. 
"C'mon, mommy," he taunts, voice a derisive roll. "Come sit on Daddy's lap. It's movie night tonight."
Baby pushes you forward happily, tail wagging, wagging—
Happier than you’ve ever seen him as this stranger reaches out, grabbing your waist and hauling you onto his lap. You think about fighting immediately, struggling to get out of his hold, but he moves back and the unmistakable, blunt press of a gun sends shivers rolling down your spine. You still instantly. Back drawing tight. Fear is a wet, hot pulse behind your ribs. 
“Don’t fight it, birdie—” You feel the warm, damp press of his mask against the shell of your ear. The ridges of his lips move beneath the fabric as he speaks. 
You hear him inhale, drawing in the scent of your shampoo—your fear: an oily thick miasma pooling behind your ears, against your nape—and feel tears pool against your lashline when a surge of familiarity wells up at the solid, firm weight of his chest against your spine. His thigh slips between yours, spreading them wide over the arch of his muscle. Limp, dizzy, you fall back into his chest when he pulls you in, slotting a burly arm over your ribcage. Locked in tight. A shackle. 
“Ain’t go’ nothin’ t’worry about,” he continues, hips shifting. Moving. And—
It’s a not gun. You know it isn’t. When you whimper, it throbs—
There’s the echo of a groan in his voice when he huffs, lips pursing into a kiss. “Nothin’ at all. C’mon, Baby—” 
And Baby obeys eagerly, jumping up on the couch beside him. His snout is warm, wet, when he presses it to your arm, sniffing. Please, you think, staring into his eyes as tears swell, pooling down your cheeks. Please—
But the man lifts his arm, and Baby circles the cushion before falling against his side with a deep, content sigh. Hope is snuffed out of your chest in an instant. The man’s hand falls to his head, rubbing his skull affectionately. 
“Good boy.” Baby perks. His happiness is a palpable thing that swells around you as he melts, eyes slipping closed. “Gonna be a good boy while mum an’ dad spend some time together, ain't you, boy?”
His arm tightens around your waist. Chin notches over your shoulder as he shifts back, legs kicking out to spread your thighs further apart.
"Now," he drawls, hand sliding down to the mess between your thighs. You shiver against him, toying with the idea of running, fleeing—but he must know. Senses it, maybe. He lifts his hips, pressing the gun into your spine. A threat. A warning. But with the way he swallows you up—broad chest closing in on you, trapping you on all sides—you know it's futile.
He has you.
Your submission makes him purr.
"Baby's sleepin', so now let daddy take care'o mommy—"
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toomanystoriessolittletime · 6 months ago
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A fake soccer date
Summary: Joel asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend to get the soccer moms off his back. How convenient that you're both kind of in love with each other.
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader
Wordcount: 2.2k
Rating: E
Warnings: no outbreak, friends to lovers, FAKE DATING, mentions of dead spouse, a little angst, soccer moms (ugh), fluff, making out, smut (protected sex), dirty talk, a lot of kissing, Joel being in love, banner just for the vibes
Part of Fake Dating drabbles
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Full Masterlist // Joel Miller Masterlist
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You understood his weekly dread of going to Sarah’s soccer matches now. 
It wasn’t the soccer or the getting up at 6 am to drive to some god awful town hours away to watch a bunch of teenage girls play ball. 
It was the soccer moms.
And Joel was the only single Dad of the group. There was flirting. There were definitely not occasion appropriate attire and cleavage. There was touching. 
And that was only what you saw as you watched him in the middle of at least six women who were fussing over him like he was the only men left alive while you made your way towards the field from the parking lot. 
He had asked you before if you would accompany him to one of Sarah’s games. 
You had been neighbours since before Sarah was born. He had inherited the fixer upper next door when he just turned twenty and made the most out of it. You had seen his life fall apart within months from the moment he found out his ex girlfriend was pregnant not long after. They had tried to get back together again. 
It was you and your late husband Andrew who had been there for him once Sarah was born and his ex had left him alone. You probably spent more times in Joel’s house than your own in those first weeks, all of you being new to taking care of a new born. 
But Sarah made it easy. 
Andrew, Joel and you grew close in the coming years. 
So close that Joel was the first one you called when you were sitting in a hospital in the early morning hours after an accident on your way back from your summer vacation. 
An accident Andrew did not survive. 
He showed up an hour later with a sleeping Sarah in his arms, holding you all night as you cried into his shoulder. 
The time after that was blurry. But you knew Joel was there every single step through your grief, right beside you. 
He was your best friend. 
And as best friends it was okay to ask you to pretend to be dating him to get the soccer moms off his back, right?
It’s not like he knew that you kind of fell in love with him over the last year, right?
With a nervous inhale you put a smile on your face as you approached Joel from behind, his broad back standing out to you in between the moms who had only eyes for him. You put one of your arms around him as you sneaked to his side, feeling him stiffen for a moment as you looked up at him, meeting his eyes. He smiled down at you, instantly relaxing, his arm coming around you to pull you closer against his side. 
„Hi,“ he smiled warmly and you smiled back. 
„Sorry I’m late. The line was endless,“ you lied and he chuckled. You felt his hand rest on your hip, squeezing you lightly. 
„Glad you could make it. Sarah is gonna be excited to see you,“ he said. Like you had not seen her yesterday when you had dinner together at your house. 
He kissed your temple and you closed your eyes for a moment before you turned your head too look at the people standing around you. The women were glaring at you and didn’t even attempt to hide it. 
„If you'll excuse me ladies. We got a match to watch,“ Joel said, not waiting for an answer before he pulled you towards the field, not letting go of you. 
„I can practically feel them trying to kill me with their eyes,“ you mumbled and he huffed a laugh. 
„I told you. I didn’t even do anything. They just appear out of thin air once I get here,“ he groaned and you rolled your eyes. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he’d pretend to not now the looks he received from women around him. 
Joel Miller was a catch and everyone knew it. 
You came to stand at the fence separating the field and the audience, watching as the girls warmed up on the soccer field. Sarah saw you and waved wildly and you waved back with a bright smile. You felt Joel stand behind you, before his hands came down next to yours on the fence.
„Thank you for doing this,“ he hummed against your ear as he leaned down, his chin resting on your shoulder for a moment. You took a deep breath. 
„Anything for you,“ you mumbled, gasping when he fell into you against the fence, someone having pushed him. You heard him groan lowly against your ear, his body flush against yours. He took a step back immediately, turning to his side but you were pretty sure you had felt his hard bulge press into your ass for a second.
You turned your head to look at him, finding his cheeks a little flushed as he looked everywhere but at you. But before you could say anything the kids coach cheered the girls on and they got into position for the game to start.
And a couple minutes later Joel was standing behind you again, and you were leaning against his strong chest, one of his arms around your stomach as you watched his daughter play soccer on the field in front of you. 
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„Are we…. Are we still pretending to be dating?“ You mumbled against his lips, your fingers unbuttoning his flannel. 
Things had…. Escalated a little. 
One of his hands was on the side of your neck, tilting your head up as his lips moved against yours, your body pressed against the wall next to his bedroom, his body caging you in. 
„Do you want to be pretending?“ He asked, his lips kissing down your throat as his other hand came to squeeze one of your tits over your shirt. 
„Cause I haven’t been all day,“ he mumbled and you gasped. 
You were both still fully clothed, having spent the whole day together on the soccer field, pretending to be dating. 
It was pretend when he held your hand while you grabbed food. 
It was pretend when he pulled you on his lap when there wasn’t enough place to sit. 
It was pretend when you went up and kissed him when one of the soccer moms had her hands on his chest. 
Right?
„Joel….“ You hummed letting you head fall against the wall as his hand slipped under your shirt and towards your chest. You finally had his flannel open your fingernails scratching over the shirt he was wearing underneath. 
„I… I don’t want to pretend. I… I want you. I want you all the time,“ you confessed, your eyes closed as he sucked on the soft skin on your neck. 
He looked at you then a small smile on his flushed lips. 
„Good,“ he simply said, before he kissed you again and pulled you towards his bedroom. 
He undressed you slowly, kissing a path from your lips down to your hips before he told you to lay down. 
With your arms spread out on his mattress you looked up at him as he got out of his clothes, biting your lip when you saw his thick cock, already glistening at the tip. 
„Dreamed of this,“ he said as he joined you on the bed, crawling on top of you, kissing you softly as he laid down between your spread legs. 
You nipples hardened as his chest brushed against yours, the only thought in your head being that you wanted him closer. Always closer.
„Yeah?“ You asked with a small smile, your fingers brushing over his back. He nodded. 
„Me too. Dreamed of this for months,“ you confessed and he kissed you again.
„Months?“ He asked kissing your nose.
„Mhh… Think I knew when you fixed my bathroom sink and explained every little step you were doing. Thought back then that I’d listen to everything you’d explain to me as long as you wouldn’t leave,“ you said quietly, a little shy. 
You parted your lips when you felt his cock slip though your folds. 
„When you held Sarah after she fell from her bike last year. I watched you with my daughter in your arms and thought to myself, fuck I’m in love with her,“ he said and you felt a tear slip out of your eyes. 
You tilted your chin up to find his lips in a deep kiss before you brought one hand down and between your bodies, hearing him moan when your fingers wrapped around his stiff cock. 
„Wanna taste you first,“ he mumbled against your lips. 
You shook your head. 
„Plenty of time for that after. Wanna feel you please,“ you pumped his cock and he closed his eyes, his forehead resting against yours. 
„Fuck. Fuck okay. Condom?“ He asked and you grinned. 
„You got some? I’m on birth control and I trust you,“ you said. He looked at you for a moment before he shook his head. 
„The last time I didn’t use a condom with someone who was on birthcontrol I got Sarah,“ he chuckled before he pushed off of you and reached towards his bedside table, finding a little golden foil package, ripping it open and pulling it over his cock. 
He came back to kneel between your legs, one of his hands wrapped around his cock while he reached for a pillow and with a grin. 
You grinned back, arching your back as he pushed the pillow under you and under your ass before both of his hands pulled you towards him. You crossed your legs behind his ass, pulling him closer as he leaned down, lining his cock up with your pussy. 
„No more pretending,“ he whispered and you shook your head. 
„No more pretending,“ you repeated before you kissed him as he slowly pushed inside of you. 
Your lips parted against his as he slipped inside you, both of you breathing heavily, a quiet moan coming from you as he stretched you. 
You hadn’t been with anyone since your husband died and Joel wasn’t exactly small. 
"You okay?“ He asked, slowing down. 
You just nodded, before you kissed him again, finding yourself enjoying the stretch of his cock as it pushed slowly inside of you. 
„Keep going, feels so fucking good,“ you mumbled against his lips and you felt him smile as he moved, his cock moving inside of you until his whole length was filling you, both of you releasing a loud breath. 
„Should have done this sooner,“ he said as he pulled back and began to slowly fuck into you. You had one hand in his hair, the other on his ass, feeling him as he moved inside of you, his cock filling you perfectly with every thrust. 
„Yeah,“ you moaned, closing your eyes. 
„Keep your eyes open,“ he hummed and you did, finding him looking at you. 
„I wanna see you when you cum on my cock,“ he said and your walls clenched, making him smirk.
„You liked that, huh?“ He asked and you nodded slowly. 
„Keep going,“ you whimpered. 
„You know what I think of when I jerk myself off in the shower? I imagine the way you look when you cum. I wonder how you sound when I make you cum so hard you see stars. I wonder how you taste. I wonder if you like it hard or slow. I wonder if you wear these pretty lace panties I saw hanging in your bathroom that one time whenever you’re around me,“ he continued and you whimpered his name. 
„I wonder if you would let me fuck you at the dining table when we have dinner together. Or if you’d suck me off in the garage when we have a couple minutes to ourselves. Or on the couch after we watched a movie. I wonder if I can make you scream my name so everyone knows that you’re mine,“ he said before he kissed you and changed the angle of how he was fucking you, his cock hitting a spot inside of you that had you shaking. 
„I’m gonna take you to the lake house this weekend so I can have you screaming as loudly as you want to,“ he said and you nodded biting your lip to keep quiet, still mindful of the child sleeping down the hall. 
„Cum for me baby, let me feel you,“ he said as he crashed his lips down on yours and you shattered, coming harder than you had ever before, your legs shaking as he kept pumping his cock into you in quick deep thrusts. 
„Fuuuuuck,“ you cried quietly against his lips, feeling his lips twitch into a smile. 
„Beautiful,“ he hummed before his hips stuttered his cock pulsing inside of you as he slowly continued to fuck into you, his forehead coming to rest against yours as he orgasmed. 
Both sweaty and out of breath you just looked at each other before he kissed you and slowly rolled you to the side, pulling you against his chest, his cock softening and still resting inside of you. 
Kissing his chest you nuzzled against him, feeling his arms tighten around your body. 
„Best fake date ever,“ you grinned and you felt him chuckle, before he kissed your head just as you drifted off to sleep. 
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spikeyjo · 2 years ago
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People are so fucking weird to grieving people, especially children. What do you mean “Why are you playing games and smiling” girl I have to live??? Like you understand I am still a person right? Or they just straight up ignore the child bc they think they’ll bounce back easier. Do better. You’re just setting them up to die too.
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dolche-tejada · 5 months ago
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You know, I think this ending would have been slightly less of a fucking disappointment if the heroes hadn't been so unfairly favored by Horikoshi compared to the villains. I mean, seriously
Deku destroys every bone in his body multiple times throughout the story and is warned that if he continues, he'll permanently lose the use of his limbs ? Everything's fine, his body's just got used to being reduced to a bloody pulp somehow so there's no consequences for him. In fact even when he literally loses his arms to Shigaraki, he gets them back two minutes later thanks to Eri because guess what ? Her horn still works even when cut off from her body. How convenient.
Gran Torino gets his ribcage obliterated by Shigaraki ? Don't worry guys, he'll survive that despite his old age and injuries, and this to have no particular role in the plot afterwards.
Bakugo dies heroically trying to buy time before Deku arrives ? Lmao, did you really believe it ?? No of course not, Edgeshot just uses his last-minute Deus Ex Machina to save his life at the cost of his own and- Oops nope he's fine too, my bad !
Hawks murders a criminal fleeing for his life in cold-blood ? The best Hori has to offer is him completely free and in charge of the HSPC.
And no, losing his quirk isn't a real consequence for him because not only it literally played a major part in saving the world with Vestige!Hawks raising an insurrection among AFO's quirks, but also because his quirk has always been the element through which people exploited him.
Endeavor abused his family for years and completely destroyed his eldest son ? No jail time and no media backlash for that, the only blame he received was due to the heroes' failure to stop the League during the Raid Arc.
And don't even get me started on this bs about facing hell or whatever for what he's done : He's literally free and wealthy ; he has Rei, Fuyumi, Shoto, his sidekicks and Hawks on his side ; and all the difficulties he's apparently going to suffer are off-screened.
Deku had to sacrifice OFA and his future hero career to save the world ? Guess what, Bakugo invested all his time and money to make him an Iron-Man suit and now he can still be a hero with everyone else.
There are plenty more examples of this but I think you get the idea. Now let's take a look at the villains' ending :
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Toya is now a piece of charcoal kept artificially alive for the few years he has left, unable to move a finger, and whose few minutes a day during which he can stay awake will be spent talking to his father who abused him as a child.
Toga, a literal teenager, killed herself to save Ochako and because she knew it's still better than rotting at Tartarus her whole life.
And not only did she die but she did by bleding to death. Let me repeat for those who have trouble grasping what I've just said : In a manga where the heroes can survive having their heart blown to bits, being impaled Kakyoin-style or smashed against buildings like a fly on a windshield, one of the main antagonists died of a fucking hemorrhage…
As for Shigaraki, after learning that his very birth and all the tragedies of his life have been orchestrated by AFO, after all this development and narrative promises about him being saved in the end... Deku just kills him.
Because despite all his speeches about saving him, it seems like the best our MC could do was beating him both physically and mentally until he crumbles to dust…
Compress on his side is apparently locked up for life and kept alive by machines too.
A begging Kurogiri tried in a desperate attempt to save Shigaraki, only to be unceremoniously blown up by Bakugo and dying off-screen without anyone giving a shit, including Aizawa and Mic.
And Spinner will now spend the rest of his life struggling with the extra quirks inside him that affect his body and mind, while having to cope with the thought that his boyfriend best friend and companions have either died alone or are locked away for life in horrifying circumstances.
Clearly not the same as with the heroes...
Now don't get me wrong, even if they suffered just as much from the consequences of their actions or the plot as the League, this ending would still be a disaster in terms of writing but AT LEAST it wouldn't reek that much of hypocrisy.
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tossawary · 1 month ago
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I've been toying with a "third transmigrator" AU for SVSSS in which the third transmigrator is a teenage girl who ends up in Luo Binghe. This teenage girl tried to read PIDW because someone else liked it, but didn't get far because she didn't like it.
Disinclined to follow the plot, the teenage girl decides to transition, because fuck it (crying breakdown), she doesn't want to be a guy. Ning Yingying is initially the only one in on it (and then some Qian Cao Peak people). This new Luo Binghe knows JUST enough about the plot of PIDW to avoid Shen Qingqiu's attention as much as possible and so swears Ning Yingying to secrecy regarding the transition. She intends to hide it until the Transmigration System lets up on the missions and restrictions a little.
Meanwhile, Shen Yuan is like, "How am I supposed to improve my relationship with the protagonist if i never see him? Did he just jump out a window to avoid me?! Also, hmph, the bullies are all calling him 'Luo-Shimei' now? Just because he's pretty??? I had better go tell them off for it!"
(Shen Qingqiu, please, your students are getting the impression that you're transphobic!!!)
If Luo Binghe's transition comes out before the Immortal Alliance Conference, Shen Yuan is going to 1) think it's his own fault somehow and 2) be more than a little weird (and a little transphobic) about it.
Shen Yuan (internally): "Oh, shit, NOT abusing the protagonist turned him into a girl??? How does that work???"
The endgame relationship here is a messy love triangle between Luo Binghe, Ning Yingying, and Ming Fan. Ming Fan is like, "What do you do when the shidi you hate falls down the stairs and nearly dies, and then apparently can't remember you used to bully him and expects you to be a good shixiong, and becomes best friends with the girl you like but also starts turning into a cute girl too??? But you can't tell Shizun any of this otherwise the girl you like will kill you???" Ning Yingying is like, "I was so caught up in the thrill of makeovers and having a new sister that I forgot to examine why, when she's approached by guys, I want to tear their throats out with my teeth. Ming-Shixiong is not good enough for A-Luo!!!" And Luo Binghe is like, "Wow, Ning Yingying is such a good friend. And so pretty. I could stare into her eyes for hours. Ming Fan is kind of a jerk sometimes, but he's cute, I guess. He needs to shape up if he wants to win Ning Yingying's heart someday! She married a guy, so she's definitely into guys."
This third transmigrator isn't paying too much attention to their own love life partially because they're too busy 1) trying to survive, 2) trying to do right by their friends, and 3) trying to figure out if Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge are in a "toxic yaoi relationship" and, if so, which one of them tops more frequently and where Yue Qingyuan fits into things.
If you haven't guessed yet, this third transmigrator is actually Shen Yuan's younger sister, who transmigrated at like 16 years old at the oldest. This identity reveal comes out at the Immortal Alliance Conference, seconds before disaster (the push into the Endless Abyss), and no earlier. It does not go well. The Transmigration System is mostly to blame.
Live Shang Qinghua Reaction: "Oh, fucking yikes, bro."
This Luo Binghe hands a lot of control over to Meng Mo to get out of the Endless Abyss. An inadvisable amount of control, really, even if Meng Mo is soft on the girl. Afterwards, they sort of stumble into the arms of Huan Hua Palace. Shen Yuan's sister did not read far enough to know pretty much anything about this sect, especially not that it's a terrible idea to be here while being both a Heavenly Demon and (post-transition) looking like even MORE of an identical clone of Su Xiyan.
(Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang ARE both going to be kind of awful and weird about it, yes, at least initially.)
Gongyi Xiao, after showing basic kindness to this poor young woman: "Hey, why are those two Qing Jing Peak disciples glaring at me like they want me dead?"
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mythicalmaven · 1 month ago
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Gotta Be You - Charles Leclerc (ONE)
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Let's go for a new series! <3 I always love writing friends/enemies to lovers, so that's what this is, yet again lol😂❤️ For my inspiration I got to give lots of credit to @vroomvro0mferrari, because her series Vexing Vacation gave me lots of inspo for the shared vacation thingie!
masterlist | promptlist ↳pairing: charles leclerc x female!gasly!reader ↳word count: 6,3K ↳warnings: not much yet honestly, arguing, tension maybe ↳side info: friends to enemies to lovers, semi slow burn? (not really slowburn, but it has build up until the actual lovers things unfold), the reader is Pierre's younger sister, reader is Arthur LeClerc's childhood best friend, Charles is her former crush, Charles is a jealous ass sometimes, age gap between reader and Charles (5 years, 22 and 27) ↳summary: In which you go on a shared holiday with both your and your brother's friend group, forced to be confronted with your former teenage crush Charles LeClerc yet again. The only problem is? You can't stand him nowadays, until you suddenly can.
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Arthur’s apartment was as chaotic as ever, half-packed bags and discarded jackets strewn across the floor. You threw yourself onto the couch with a dramatic groan, your face buried in a pillow.
“I regret this already,” you whined, the words muffled against the soft fabric.
Arthur’s laugh carried from the doorway. “You’ve been here two minutes, and you’re already complaining? Impressive.”
Rolling onto your back, you shot him a glare. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. A whole month of dealing with your insufferable brother? I must’ve been out of my mind.”
Arthur leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed and grinning like the Cheshire cat. “You’ll survive. There are enough people going to keep you distracted. Plus, you get to spend a whole month with me. What more could you possibly want?”
“Maybe a holiday without Charles,” you shot back, only half-joking.
Arthur smirked. “Come on, he’s not that bad. Okay, maybe he’s a bit… a lot.”
"Arthur... I can't think of one thing that's not annoying about your brother" You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to dig his own grave further.
The Monegasque chuckled and rolled his eyes "Nuh uh! I do remember very vividly how you were gushing about, and I quote 'astonishingly hot' my brother looked in that suit during christmas"
You huffed and coughed, throwing the pillow that was under your head towards Arthur "First of all that was 2 years ago" you said, rolling onto your back, staring up at the ceiling “Besides, the only thing worse than Charles, is Charles knowing he’s handsome. He’s insufferable, and he’s fully aware of it. That smirk of his? Pure evil.”
Arthur snorted. “Yeah, he definitely knows. But let’s be honest, you’re not wrong. The guy could probably charm his way out of murder if he tried.”
You groaned again, flopping back onto the couch. “Can't I just stay here, and watch the house? Doesn't your fake plant need a plant sitter, to fake water it?" you joked.
Arthur plopped down beside you, his grin softening slightly. “You’ll be fine. I’ll protect you. I’ll even create a no-Charles zone if it helps.”
You laughed despite yourself, shoving his shoulder. “You’re an idiot.”
“An idiot you’re lucky to have,” he replied with a wink.
You smiled at him, rolling your eyes once again. He was true, you were lucky to have him, but you also weren't so lucky with who his brother was.
“But you have to admit,” Arthur continued, “you kind of love how much he gets under your skin. You wouldn’t have this much energy to complain if you didn’t care.”
Your gaze softened as you looked at him, and for a moment, your mind wandered back to where it all started. You and Arthur had been inseparable since you were kids.
The first time you met Arthur, you were eight years old, tagging along with Pierre to one of his karting races. Arthur, ten at the time, had been sitting on a crate, furiously tinkering with his kart while Charles shouted something from across the paddock. He looked up as you approached, his face smeared with grease, and grinned like he’d known you forever.
“Hi! I’m Arthur!” he announced, shoving his hand out for you to shake.
From that moment on, you were glued to his side. Arthur became your partner in crime, the one you told all your secrets to, and the brother you never asked for but somehow desperately needed.
Of course, being best friends with Arthur meant spending time around Charles, too.
You were fifteen when it happened—when you realized you had a crush on the unattainable Charles Leclerc. He was nineteen then, fully immersed in his F1 career and everything that came with it. He had this effortless charm, a confidence that made it impossible to look away.
You knew it was silly, that he’d never see you as anything more than Arthur’s kid best friend. But the crush lingered, stubborn and unrelenting.
By the time you were sixteen, you and Charles had started spending more time together, moments where the age gap didn’t feel so insurmountable. He’d joke with you, tease you about your karting attempts, and you couldn’t help but think… maybe. Maybe if you were older, it could be something.
“Maybe if you were older,” he’d said once, his voice light but his words heavy. “But you’re Pierre’s little sister, and Arthur would kill me. Besides, you’re like family.”
The words stung, but deep down, you understood. And then there was that night when you were eighteen—too many drinks, a shared laugh, and the moment you almost kissed. But it was over before it began, cut short by the sound of someone calling Charles’ name.
You never talked about it, burying the memory alongside the growing ache in your chest.
When you were eighteen, you finally let it go. You and Charles were just friends, so it seemed. You started dating other guys, convinced that the feelings you had for Charles were a thing of the past, which they seemed to be. But that was when Charles started to change.
He became distant, colder. His teasing shifted into something sharper, tinged with something you couldn’t quite understand. You started arguing more, getting annoyed by the weirdest little things. The playful insults and your arguments became the foundation of your relationship—barbed words masking unresolved tension.
Now, years later, it was all just… frustrating. You didn’t understand him, and you didn’t want to. Yet you both couldn't seem to let it each other be. Even though you were now respectively 21 and 26, you both had this childish need to keep pushing each others buttons.
The sound of the doorbell snapped you out of your thoughts. Arthur jumped up, grinning. “Showtime. Come on, let’s get this circus started.”
You followed him to the door, your heart sinking as soon as it swung open. There he was—Charles Leclerc, the devil himself, smirk firmly in place. Beside him stood Pierre and Kika, both smiling warmly.
“Great,” you muttered under your breath. “Let the torture begin.”
Pierre and Kika made their way in, following Arthur to the living room, leaving you standing there alone with Charles.
Charles’s eyes flicked to you, his smirk widening. “Miss me already?”
You rolled your eyes at the Monegasque driver, scoffing "I’d miss you more if you came with a mute button."
Before Charles had the chance to reply to your comment, Dennis Hauger appeared behind Charles, greeting both of you with a smirk. Saved by the bell
"HAUG!" you exclaimed happily, making your way over to him, embracing him.
Dennis returned the hug immediately, settling his arms around your waist "Hi there, frenchie" he chuckled back at you, using of his standard nickname for you.
You tucked your head in the crook of his neck "You just saved me from the devil, thanks" you whispered jokingly to him, low enough for Charles to not hear.
What you didn't notice tho, was the way Charles clenched his jaw at the sight in front of him, or the way he immediately made his way out of the hallway, trying to get away from the interaction in front of him. It was jealousy, pure jealousy. Something he was trying to deny with all his willpower.
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The house had been buzzing with activity for the past hour as everyone settled into their rooms. Most of the group had scrambled to claim their ideal space as soon as they walked in, leaving you and Kika to handle the grocery run. You didn’t mind—there wasn’t a room you particularly wanted, and you figured Arthur would sort it out for you while you were gone.
When you returned and put everything away, you made your way to the living room, where Arthur was lounging on the couch next to Dennis. You perched on the armrest beside him, your hands on your hips.
Arthur didn’t even look at you before sighing dramatically. “I’m sorry in advance,” he muttered, sounding uncharacteristically guilty.
You raised an eyebrow. “I haven’t even said anything yet, and you’re already apologizing. That’s reassuring.”
Arthur finally glanced up, a smirk creeping onto his face. “You weren’t going to ask me about your room for the month?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, catching the teasing tone in his voice. “Okay, and if I was? I already told you I don’t care which room I get. I’m not picky.”
Dennis snorted from his seat. “Oh, you’ll care soon enough.”
Confused, you glanced between them, their smirks only growing. “What are you two on about? Just tell me where the room is, and I’ll figure it out myself.”
Arthur shrugged, clearly enjoying himself. “Upstairs. There are two bedrooms on that floor. Yours is the one on the right.”
“Thanks,” you said, pushing off the armrest. “Honestly, boys, it can’t be that bad.”
As you walked away, you heard Arthur mutter behind you, “Sweet, innocent girl.”
The comment made you roll your eyes, but you brushed it off. Surely they were just being dramatic. When you reached the room, you stepped inside and surveyed the space. It was far from bad—it was actually quite nice. The room was spacious, with large windows that let in plenty of light. You noticed a set of balcony doors and walked over to them, opening them to find a stunning view of the beach. The balcony extended to the next room, but that wasn’t anything that bothered you.
Everything about the room seemed perfect. What were they even talking about?
Feeling satisfied, you turned your attention to the rest of the space, spotting a door near the wardrobe. It must lead to the bathroom. Curious, you opened it, stepping inside—and froze in your tracks.
There, in the middle of the bathroom, stood Charles, unpacking his toiletries into the cabinet. His back was to you, but the sight of him was enough to make your stomach drop. You quickly scanned the room and spotted another door on the opposite wall, clearly leading to his bedroom.
Oh. That’s what they meant.
“No way. This is not happening,” you huffed, throwing your hands in the air.
Charles turned at the sound of your voice, his expression shifting from surprise to irritation. “What are you doing here?” he snapped.
"About to murder either you, or the idiot that came up with the clever idea to put me in a room next to most insufferable person on mother earth" you snapped back at him.
Charles felt slightly hurt at your insult, he knew he caused this himself, but he figured that trying to get over you was easier when you hated him than when you were your way too sweet self.
Charles rolled his eyes, going back to his unpacking. "Might as well consider killing Joris then, because up until you came barging in, I thought he would be staying in that room" he said, rolling his eyes, mindlessly continuing to unpack his stuff
You crossed your arms, glaring at his nonchalant attitude. “Well, congratulations on your little upgrade. This arrangement is absolutely not happening. I’m switching rooms.”
“Good luck with that,” Charles muttered. “But if you’re planning to kill Joris, I’d like to watch.”
You ignored his sarcasm, muttering curses under your breath as you stormed out of the bathroom and downstairs into the kitchen. Your frustration was boiling over as you barged in, startling the group gathered around the table. Pierre, Kika, Arthur, Dennis, and Joris all looked up at you in varying states of confusion.
“Joris,” you snapped, pointing a finger at him. “I will kill you.”
Joris blinked, holding his hands up in defense. “What did I do?”
“Apparently you figured it was a good idea to take the last decent room, and left me with the one upstairs,” you hissed. “Which, by the way, shares a bathroom with Charles.”
Arthur burst into laughter, nearly doubling over. “You just figured that out? Oh, this is gold.”
Joris’ confused expression turned sheepish. “Okay, wait. I didn’t know that if I didn’t take the upstairs room, you’d end up with it. I thought the downstairs one was just the last one left.”
“And you didn’t think about who would be upstairs with Charles?” you snapped, your tone laced with sarcasm.
Joris shrugged, an amused grin tugging at his lips. “I mean... I thought you’d appreciate the proximity to him.”
You groaned, turning to Pierre, who was clearly trying to stifle his laughter. “Pierre, switch rooms with me. Please.”
Pierre leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Yeah, no. That’s not happening. Kika and I have a nice setup downstairs, and I’m not about to share a bathroom with anyone. We need our privacy.”
“I need privacy too!” you argued, your voice rising in frustration.
“It’s different,” Pierre said, shooting you a pointed look. “Couples need privacy for... other things.”
“Ew. Stop. I don’t want to know,” you groaned, covering your ears dramatically.
You spun around to Arthur, narrowing your eyes. “You. Switch with me.”
Arthur raised his hands, laughing. “No can do. Charles would murder me. I snore too loud, and he’s all about his beauty sleep. He’d kick me out within a day.”
Your gaze shifted to Dennis, who immediately held up his hands. “Don’t even think about it. I’ve got the best room in the house—big bed, balcony, bubble bath. I’m not giving that up.”
You groaned loudly, throwing your head back. “You’re all useless.”
He leaned back smugly, grinning as if he’d just won the lottery. Then, as if to soften the blow, he added, “Well, I would’ve offered to let you stay in my room with me, but I think that would be the cause of my death.” His eyes flicked pointedly to your brother.
“Fair point,” Pierre said flatly, without missing a beat.
You rolled your eyes, exasperated. “No, that’s off-limits. But sharing a bathroom—with connecting doors—with the one guy you’ve always said was ‘off-limits’ is somehow not an issue? You’re a hypocritical ass.”
Pierre shrugged, a smug grin tugging at his lips. “First of all, sleeping in someone’s bed is completely different than sharing a bathroom,” he countered, folding his arms.
“And second,” he added with a knowing look, “the only reason I ever said that was because you had a little teenage crush on my best friend. And let’s be honest, at the time, he was way too old for you. But...” He trailed off, chuckling to himself. “I guess sticking to that would make me a bit of a hypocrite, considering I’m dating one of your friends now, and our age gap is even bigger.”
You groaned loudly, knowing you couldn’t win this side of the argument. “Whatever,” you muttered, crossing your arms. “That doesn’t change the fact that you know he’s the one person I want to avoid the most. You know I hate him,” you complained. “I can’t even stand the idea of his existence, let alone sharing a goddamn bathroom with him.”
“Relax,” Pierre said with a smirk. “It’s just a bathroom. There’s a lock on the door. You’ll survive.”
“Exactly,” came Charles’ voice from behind you. You spun around to find him leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed and an infuriatingly smug look on his face. “It’s not like sharing a bathroom means we’re obligated to shower together.”
“Oh, don’t tempt me,” you snapped. “It might be worth it just to drown you.”
The group erupted in laughter, and Charles rolled his eyes. “You’re acting like a child. Just knock before you go in. Problem solved.”
You glared at him, furious “Why are you even meddling, you weren't even part of this conversation, are you just lurking around waiting to butt in on conversations?” you snapped.
Charles smirked, clearly enjoying your frustration. “Not my fault you’re loud enough to hear from every other room,” he replied, his tone light but with an edge of sarcasm.
Your hands balled into fists at your sides as you shot him a glare. “God, you’re insufferable.”
“And yet, here we are,” he quipped, unfazed by your fury.
You sighed loudly "See, this is what I mean, this is what y'all are burdening me with" you complained, glaring at him once more, your frustration bubbling over. “You’re the last person I’d ever want to share a bathroom with.”
Charles smirked, stepping further into the kitchen, inching closer to you, until he was close enough to whisper in your ear. “Good thing it’s not up to you, then.”
Your hands balled into fists at your sides as you shot him a glare, your voice sharp and dripping with annoyance. “Fuck you, Charles.”
He raised an eyebrow, his smirk growing wider as he tilted his head slightly, feigning innocence. “Tempting,” he drawled, his voice low and teasing, “but I don’t think you could handle it.”
Pierre clapped his hands together, interrupting the argument. “Alright, enough. Give it a try for a few days. If it’s really that bad, we’ll figure something out. But I doubt it’ll be the end of the world.”
You huffed, crossing your arms. “Fine. But if I end up committing a murder, just know it’s on all of you.”
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After the heated argument downstairs, you stormed up the stairs to your designated bedroom, Arthur trailing behind you with his ever-present smug smirk. His long strides brought him into the room before you could even process your frustration fully. He flopped unceremoniously onto your bed, bouncing slightly as he sprawled out, his arms behind his head like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Meanwhile, you busied yourself with unpacking your suitcase, each item you placed in the wardrobe an outlet for your simmering annoyance. The rhythmic sound of hangers sliding against the bar was oddly soothing—until you caught Arthur watching you with that infuriating grin plastered across his face.
"What?" you snapped, not even turning to face him.
Arthur’s eyes twinkled with mischief. "Oh, nothing. Just waiting for you to protest again"
You rolled your eyes so hard it almost hurt. Before you could even begin to voice your frustration, Arthur sat up, one hand raised in mock surrender. "Nope! Let me stop you right there. This wasn’t just on me.”
Without thinking, you grabbed a pair of joggers from your suitcase and lobbed them at him. The fabric smacked him square in the face with a satisfying thwack.
“Merde!” he exclaimed, his laughter spilling out as he dramatically tossed the joggers aside. “Violence is not the answer, you know.”
“Neither is being useless,” you shot back, crossing your arms. "Arthur, you could have at least tried something! Anything would have been better than this.”
He leaned back against the headboard, folding his arms as if settling in for a long discussion. “Trust me, I did. But there wasn’t much to work with. Your brother doesn’t want to switch because—well, come on, you know why. He’s here with his girlfriend, and honestly, he made a fair point.”
You made a disgusted face, wrinkling your nose. “Fair point or not, it still sucks for me.”
Arthur shrugged nonchalantly. “And then there’s Joris. He’s obviously got a thing for Gigi, and guess what? Gigi sleeps downstairs. Perfect excuse for him to ‘accidentally’ run into her more often.”
“Gross,” you muttered, shoving another shirt into the wardrobe.
Arthur grinned, clearly enjoying your irritation. “And let’s be real: Inès and Gigi met Charles today. Can you imagine how awkward it’d be for either of them to share a bathroom with him? What if they walk in each other accidentally. That’s like… social torture. At least you’ve known him for years.”
You spun around, throwing your hands in the air. “I’M UNCOMFORTABLE TOO, ARTHUR!”
“Yeah, but that’s just you two being… you two,” he quipped, gesturing vaguely between you. “It’s a highly unlogical—”
“Illogical,” you corrected sharply.
“Whatever.” He waved a hand dismissively. “It’s an illogical issue between the two of you. At least you know him well enough to, I don’t know, coexist?”
You exhaled sharply, knowing he wasn’t entirely wrong but unwilling to admit it. “Fine. But Dennis? He’s my friend! He could have helped me out instead of hogging the nicest room in the house.”
Arthur snorted. “You know Dennis and Paul! I’m pretty sure they're just quietly rooting for some ‘enemies to lovers’ drama between you and Charles. Probably think it’s entertaining"
You stared at him in disbelief, heat rising to your cheeks. “Oh my God. Why do you all think this is some slow-burn romance novel? I’m not in love with him anymore. That was just a stupid teenage crush!”
Arthur grinned wider, clearly delighted. “Sure, sure. But that doesn’t mean you two don’t have… something.”
“Ugh!” You grabbed a pillow and launched it at him, but he easily dodged, laughing as he slid off the bed to avoid further projectiles.
“Relax, I’m just saying what everyone’s thinking,” he teased, leaning casually against the wall. “And for the record, I would have swapped with you. But Charles would kill me. You know how I snore, and—let’s be real—we’ve already lived together long enough. He’d probably prefer sharing a bathroom with you than enduring that again.”
You groaned, rubbing your temples. “I just don’t get it. He hates me just as much as I hate him. Why would he rather share with me than you?”
Arthur raised an eyebrow, his knowing smirk returning. “Oh, I have my theories. But I’m staying out of it.”
“That’s not helpful,” you muttered, exasperated.
Arthur chuckled, pushing off the wall. “Look, you could always sleep on the couch. But if you do…” He paused, tilting his head thoughtfully. “You’re letting him win.”
“Fair point,” you admitted begrudgingly.
Arthur patted your shoulder as he walked toward the door. “Good luck surviving the week. Don’t kill each other—well, at least not where anyone can see.”
Once he was gone, the silence of the room felt heavy. You sighed, glancing toward the adjoining bathroom door—the one that connected your room to Charles’.
As if on cue, the faint sound of running water reached your ears. You groaned inwardly, already dreading the inevitable awkward encounters. Maybe Arthur was right. Maybe this was all just some cosmic joke meant to test your patience.
But as you sank onto the edge of the bed, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of something else—something unsettling that you didn’t want to name. Whatever it was, you shoved it aside, determined to prove that you could handle this without giving anyone the satisfaction of watching you squirm.
For now, you focused on unpacking the rest of your things, trying to ignore the quiet tension creeping in through the bathroom door.
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Later that day, the dinner table was alive with chatter, forks scraping plates, and glasses clinking as the group settled into an easy rhythm of conversation. The garden outside glowed under the string lights Pierre had painstakingly strung earlier, their warm light casting a soft glow over everyone seated at the table. Plates were piled high with food, the occasional burst of laughter cutting through the gentle hum of evening crickets.
You sat between Dennis and Arthur, trying your best to ignore the magnetic pull of Charles, seated directly across from you. He was deep in conversation with Joris about the best overtaking strategies, his hands gesturing animatedly as he spoke. You told yourself you weren’t paying attention, but your eyes betrayed you, flickering to him more often than you’d like.
Arthur leaned over, breaking your reverie. “You’ve barely touched your plate,” he teased, nodding toward your half-eaten dinner.
“Maybe I lost my appetite after sitting across from that,” you said pointedly, your fork gesturing vaguely in Charles’ direction.
Charles, sharp as ever, caught the jab immediately. His green eyes glinted with amusement as he leaned back in his chair, resting an arm lazily on the table. “Careful,” he drawled. “That attitude of yours might scare away any remaining appetite you have.”
Dennis snickered quietly beside you, earning a glare from you and a soft punch to his shoulder. “Don’t encourage him,” you muttered.
“Who, me?” Dennis asked innocently.
The banter escalated as the evening wore on. Drinks began to flow more freely—wine for most, a few beers for the others—and snacks were passed around as the group moved to the garden chairs scattered across the lawn. The stars above provided the perfect backdrop, but you were too caught up in the ebb and flow of conversation to appreciate them fully.
You and Charles kept up your usual sniping, each comment sharper than the last. It wasn’t long before Pierre, clearly exasperated, threw up his hands. “Enough, you two. I swear, if you keep this up, we’ll have to start taking bets on which one of you snaps first.”
“I’m not snapping,” you retorted, crossing your arms.
Charles smirked, taking a leisurely sip of his drink. “Neither am I. I’m having the time of my life.”
The group burst into laughter, easing the tension momentarily. But across the garden, Dennis leaned toward Arthur, his voice dropping low enough to stay out of earshot.
“Am I the only one seeing it?” Dennis asked, his gaze darting between you and Charles.
Arthur followed his line of sight, frowning slightly. “Seeing what?”
“Come on, Thur,” Dennis said, nudging him. “The tension. The way they bicker? That’s not just hate. That’s something else.”
Arthur hesitated, his brows furrowing. “I don’t know. With her? I can’t tell. She used to have a thing for him, sure. But now? One moment I think she’s over it, and the next…”
Dennis grinned knowingly. “She’s not over it. And Charles? He’s head over heels. Look at the way he watches her when she’s not looking. The guy’s smitten.”
Arthur laughed at him "I've had my suspicions about him for a while, but he's difficult to read"
“Just saying, the sexual tension is insane.” Dennis laughed.
Arthur groaned, leaning back in his chair. “You’re talking about my brother. Ew.”
"Hey, in all honesty. If he indeeds feels that way about her, I don't judge him.." Dennis laughed at the disgusted face that Arthur was pulling "Because, come on, you gotta admit it, she's hot"
Arthur shook his head, laughing despite himself. “Yeah, she’s hot. I'm aware of that, but I don’t see her that way. Never did, to be honest. We kissed a couple of times, but it was never like that" he said, a laugh present on his face as he thought back to the memories "I guess like once or twice during drinking games, and I remember one time when we were just young and hopeless, so we tried kissing like once, but it honestly was like… kissing my sister. Just weird.”
Dennis nodded, a sly grin spreading across his face. “I know that, Thur. But your brother? He doesn’t seem to think it’s weird.”
Dennis was watching you and Charles with barely concealed amusement, his eyes flicking between the two of you like he was watching a slow-motion car crash. He leaned a little closer to Arthur, smirking. "I mean, come on," he said under his breath. "Do they think they’re fooling anyone?"
Arthur chuckled, shaking his head. "They’ve been like this for ages. It’s exhausting just being around it."
Gigi, sitting nearby and clearly picking up on their hushed tones, laughed softly and joined in. “It’s mildly funny, though. They’re trying so hard to keep up this weird act of hating each other. Like, come on—it’s obvious they don’t actually hate each other.”
Dennis grinned, nodding toward Charles. “Right? The guy looks like he’s about to break his neck just to glance at her without being obvious.”
Gigi shrugged, leaning back in her chair. “What I don’t get is what caused all this. They used to be great friends. Back when she was still in love with him” she explained “they were actually kind of inseparable. So, what changed?”
Dennis tilted his head, considering her words. “Do you think she's still in love with him?”
Gigi paused, her brow furrowing slightly. “Honestly? I don’t think so. I mean, she still thinks he’s hot—because, let’s face it, he is hot—but she doesn’t act the way she used to. Back then, she was constantly hopeful. And let's face it, he was her first ever proper crush, so he might have a special place, but I don't think she's still in love with him. Now it's just different"
Arthur raised an eyebrow. “Different how?”
“She just seems... done. Like she gave up on him a while ago.” Gigi shrugged again, her tone thoughtful. “And honestly, I don’t blame her. If Charles does feel something now, he's probably too late. She’s waited long enough. Sure, when she was younger, the age gap made sense. She was too young. But by the time she was, like, 20, she was old enough. She still had feelings for him then, and he never even did anything about it.”
Dennis tapped his chin dramatically. “That’s rough. And if he does admit something now, what do you think? Should she go for it?”
Gigi frowned, her gaze shifting toward you briefly. “I don’t know. It would feel... weird. Like, if he didn’t see her that way before, why now? It might just feel like he’s choosing her because it’s convenient.”
Arthur sighed, rubbing his temples. “Can we not psychoanalyze my brother’s love life, please?”
Gigi shifted her gaze to Dennis, a sly grin spreading across her face. “What about you? You and her seem close. Maybe something’s blossoming there?”
Dennis raised an eyebrow, a surprised chuckle escaping him. “Me and her? Nah, come on.”
Gigi tilted her head, still smirking. “What? I’m just saying, you two seem to have this... vibe.”
Dennis laughed, shaking his head. “Look, she’s hot. I’d hook up with her in a heartbeat if she wanted to, but something serious? Nah. We both know it’s not like that.”
Gigi rolled her eyes, clearly amused. “You’re an idiot.” she laughed.
Arthur leaned back, groaning dramatically. “Why are we even having this conversation? Can we not dissect every potential romantic possibility?”
Gigi laughed. “Oh, come on, Arthur. Admit it. It’s entertaining.”
Arthur shook his head, muttering under his breath. “You all need help.”
Both Gigi and Dennis laughed out loud at Arthur's comment, finding it funny how Arthur reacted.
Before anyone could say more, their conversation was cut short when Charles, who had clearly overheard snippets of their hushed tones, called out from across the garden. “What’s so funny over there?”
Arthur, Dennis, and Gigi exchanged a quick look before Arthur spoke, his tone far too casual. “Oh, nothing much. Just debating which one of us would survive the longest if we had to endure one of your lectures on strategy.”
Charles narrowed his eyes, clearly unconvinced. “Sure,” he muttered, turning back to his conversation with Joris. But the faint twitch of his lips betrayed his amusement, even as he pretended not to care.
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As the night wore on, the group began to disperse, some heading to bed while others lingered to enjoy the cool night air. You made your way up to your room, feeling restless. Grabbing the cigarette Inès had reluctantly given you earlier, you stepped onto the balcony, the cool breeze brushing against your skin.
The first drag burned your throat, a harsh reminder of why you’d quit. But tonight, the weight in your chest felt heavier than usual, and this seemed like the only way to breathe again.
The quiet was short-lived. The soft creak of the balcony door opening made you stiffen, and when you turned, you found Charles stepping out.
“If you’re planning to mock me for smoking, shut up,” you said, not even trying to hide your annoyance.
Charles raised his hands defensively. “I wasn’t planning on anything.”
He leaned against the railing, his gaze fixed on the view rather than you. For a moment, the two of you stood in silence, the tension ebbing into something softer.
“Are you going to keep standing there, or are you taking a seat?” you asked, nudging a chair toward him with your foot.
He sat without a word, the quiet between you stretching but not uncomfortable.
“I thought you quit,” he said finally, his voice soft.
You took another drag, exhaling slowly. “I did.”
Charles chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “Figures.”
“But then my best friend decided it was a good idea to take me on a holiday and make me share a bathroom and connecting rooms with his brother" You smirked faintly "Don’t know if you’ve met him, but he’s got a massive ego and loves getting on his brother’s best friend’s nerves. Pathetic, really.”
Charles laughed, the sound low and warm. “Can’t say I’ve met him. But he probably has a good reason.”
The two of you shared a quiet laugh, a rare moment of peace between the insults. You held out your cigarette to him, a small gesture of truce.
Charles hesitated before taking it, his fingers brushing against yours briefly. The touch was fleeting but electric, sending a jolt through him that he didn’t entirely wanted to administer. He took a drag, exhaling slowly, his eyes on the stars.
“For someone who claims to hate me this much, this seems pretty generous,” he said, handing it back.
“Maybe I’m trying to ruin your lungs so you screw up your next race,” you replied dryly, leaning back in your chair.
Charles hummed in mock agreement. “Hmm. If you say so.”
The silence lingered between you and Charles, stretching into something neither of you was used to—quiet, companionable, and strangely comfortable. You stared out at the darkened garden, the faint glow of the string lights from below casting soft shadows across the balcony. The cigarette burned low between your fingers, the occasional ember flaring as you took a slow drag.
Charles shifted slightly in his seat, his arms resting casually on the chair's arms, his eyes flicking to you when he thought you weren’t looking. The lines of his face were softened by the night, his usual sharpness replaced by a contemplative calm.
“You’ve gotten quieter,” you muttered, breaking the silence. “What? Run out of things to argue about already?”
He smirked, glancing at you. “Just pacing myself. Don’t want to exhaust all my good comebacks in one night.”
You rolled your eyes, fighting the small smile that tugged at your lips. “Oh, please. I’ve heard them all before. You’re not that original.”
“Maybe I’m just giving you a chance to catch up,” he quipped, a faint grin playing at the corner of his mouth.
You laughed softly, shaking your head, and for a moment, it almost felt easy—like the walls you’d both carefully built were thinning, letting something more natural seep through.
The two of you lapsed back into silence, the occasional sound of the night filling the void. Charles tapped his fingers lightly against the chair, his rhythm steady, almost soothing. He tilted his head back slightly, staring up at the stars.
“What do you think they’re talking about down there?” he asked suddenly, nodding toward the garden where the others were still chatting.
You shrugged, leaning back in your chair. “Knowing Arthur and Dennis? Something dumb. Probably debating the best flavor of chips or some other nonsense.”
Charles chuckled softly. “Sounds about right.”
Minutes passed, the quiet stretching comfortably between you. Occasionally, your gazes met, and though neither of you spoke, there was an unspoken exchange—something in the way his eyes softened just slightly when he looked at you.
Finally, you stood, brushing ash from your hands. “I’m going to freshen up in the bathroom and go to bed.”
Charles didn’t respond immediately, his eyes following your movements. Just as you reached the doorway, he called out softly, his voice cutting through the quiet.
“You know,” he began, his tone uncharacteristically serious, “aside from all the arguments… you know I don’t actually hate you, right?”
You froze in the doorway, his words hanging in the air between you. Slowly, you turned, your hand resting on the doorframe. “You have a shit way of showing that,” you said, your voice quieter than usual.
Charles gave you a small, almost rueful smile. “I’ll work on it.”
You stared at him for a moment longer before nodding. “Goodnight, Charles.”
“Goodnight,” he replied, watching as you disappeared inside.
In the bathroom, the scent of him lingered—subtle but unmistakable. It was maddening how easily it unsettled you, making your chest tighten with an unspoken weight. You closed the door behind you, locking both his and your side with care, as if the physical barrier could somehow keep your thoughts at bay.
You stared at your reflection in the mirror, the faint steam from the earlier shower still clinging to the edges of the glass. “Get over it,” you whispered to yourself, your voice barely audible. “You hate him. Remember?”
But the words felt hollow, even to your own ears.
The shower’s warm spray hit your skin, washing away the tension that had settled in your shoulders, but it couldn’t quite cleanse your mind. Images of his face lingered—his small, almost shy smile when he’d said he didn’t hate you, the way his fingers had brushed against yours earlier when you passed him the cigarette.
You lingered longer than usual, hoping the heat of the water would somehow dissolve the confusion swirling inside you. When you finally stepped out and dried off, you felt no closer to clarity, only exhaustion.
Back in your room, the muffled sounds of movement from the adjoining space made you pause. You could hear him faintly—the soft creak of his bed, the shuffle of fabric as he adjusted his position. It was strangely intimate, knowing he was so close, separated only by a thin wall.
Sliding into bed, you stared at the ceiling, the room’s quiet amplifying the sounds next door. Your mind drifted despite your best efforts, and with a sigh, you reached for your phone.
You: Bathroom’s free
You'd typed it quickly, hesitating for a moment before pressing send. Before you could even process your message, the reply already came.
Charles: Thanks.
You put your phone on your nightstand, plugging it in the charger, before crawling deeper beneath the covers. You tried to fall asleep, but it felt impossible. Every movement he made, every creak of his bed, echoed faintly. It made you realize once more, in what close proximity you both were, keeping you awake longer than you’d like. Eventually though, sleep claimed you, surprisingly peaceful despite everything.
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lia-linny · 5 months ago
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Summary: minhos little sister has always been invisible to most people. Maybe kim seungmin can be the person that only sees her.
Genre: (hurt), comfort, fluff,
Words: 2.4k
Yn has always been a little, unobtrusive girl. As a child, she was afraid of everything. whether it was small insects, scary ghosts or the naughty teenagers who often took her toys.
she was always quiet, didn't talk much and was always reserved if not shy around strangers.
but luckily for her, she had her older brother minho. he took better care of her than anyone else. Minho had sworn to protect his little sister from everything.
if a huge spider scared yn, minho would take a glass and paper and put the spider, which wasn't really that big, outside the front door (but not without teasing her).
if yn couldn't sleep at night because the ghosts under her bed were keeping her awake, minho would let her sleep in his bed and promise to keep an eye on her all night to make sure no ghosts came and took her away from him.
and when the teenagers from next door came and took away yn's toys and little cars, these same teenagers came to school afterwards with big patches and bruises and apologized meekly to yn.
but there was one thing minho couldn't protect his beloved little sister from, the cruelty of society, which taught little children from such an early age that they weren't enough.
everyone had to be perfect and draw attention to themselves by standing out, otherwise they were overlooked and forgotten, and yn had never been good at that.
She always preferred to hide, like begging for attention. But that led to her being forgotten.
when one of yn's classmates threw a party and invited everyone in the class but had obviously forgotten her invitation cart, every "oh you're still here? I thoughtyou went home." at family get-togethers or parties with friends, or when teachers forgot her name even after several years (but knew the names of all the other students tatelessly)
little situations like these gave yn little stabs every time until her heart was struggling to hold itself together.
she forced herself to come out of her shell more. she tried to join in conversations in smaller groups, to draw attention to herself, but she was overheard. it often felt as if she was invisible.
~☆~
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~☆~
The leaves of the small deciduous trees sank to the ground in the soft light of the afternoon, but no one paid them any attention. Everyone was far too fascinated by the splendor of the beautiful cherry blossoms to notice the agony of the deciduous trees, which were losing their leaves due to this summer's drought. But just because the deciduous trees were not as popular, beautiful and famous as the cherry trees, did they not deserve any love?
Yn waited outside the small ice cream parlor where she wanted to meet her brother and his member seungmin and did what she did best. Being invisible, disappearing in the crowd, not attracting attention.
It had always been her "survival strategy". Not falling out of line paired with a little sarcasm and teasing. But in the long run, always being overlooked made her lonely. The people who were the most invisible perhaps needed someone who only saw them the most.
Seungmin tapped yn on the shoulder. She was startled out of her thoughts and looked directly into Seungmin's amused face, which was covered by a face mask and a cap pulled low over his face, but which she would still recognize within milliseconds.
His face was etched in her memory like no other. From all those sleepless nights when she prayed that he wouldn't overlook her, that his teasing only meant that he liked her too. More like a friend, more like minho's little sister.
Yn was pretty sure that seungmin had snuck up on her on purpose to scare her but didn't comment further.
"So, did you ever manage to break out of your study hell and have a little fun?" He grinned and she immediately went on the defensive.
It's not "study hell"... it can even be fun, but what can I do? you have to study to get good grades."
"Seriously... don't you ever have fun in life? You should think about something else besides studying, studying, stud..." his comment was stopped by one of yn's hands covering his mouth while she replied
"shut up seungmin. where is minho anyway?"
Seungmin sighed dramatically. "Am I not enough for you? Am I that terrible?" Yn just rolls his eyes.
"He... something came up. He told me to take you out for ice cream alone and maybe you'll see you later."
She felt the surprise and anxiety boil in her. Yn took a step back and lowered her gaze to the floor.
"Oh..." so seungmin was here because he wanted to go out for ice cream with minho (with her in tow), but her brother didn't have time and now seungmin had to entertain her somehow. Of course, minho hadn't canceled... he wanted her to finally go out again. But now he had forced seungmin to go out for ice cream with yn, even though he surely didn't want to and had only come out of politeness.
"Let's go inside! I really want to try the mint chocolate chip ice cream here!" Seungmin hadn't noticed the change in her mood, or at least he didn't let on.
Yn stumbled into the store behind him. Seungmin ran straight to the counter, where a wide variety of ice cream flavors were displayed. Yn stared at the flavors. Seungmin had already ordered his ice cream, so now it was her turn.
"Um... vanilla ice cream for me"
"Omg you're so basic" seungmin laughed "really vanilla? Can't you think of anything better?"
Normally she would have laughed but now she just shrugged her shoulders, lowered her head, took her ice cream without comment and headed for one of the tables.
She left a stunned seungmin behind. She usually laughed at his jibes and always had a good counterattack ready. And especially she never ever missed achance to make fun of his obsession with mint chocolate chip ice cream. What was wrong with her today?
He quietly followed her to the table and sat down at the opposite side of the table. They ate their ice cream in silence.
Had he done something wrong? he didn't behave any differently towards her...
"You know... you don't have to be here. I know you're only here because of minho and I don't want you to be forced to eat ice cream with me. you certainly have better things to do." her voice wasn't much louder than a whisper, and yet seungmin heard every single word and felt her insecureties floating in the air between them, like a thick cloud blocking her clear view.
So that was the problem... Seungmin was silent for a while, too taken aback by her comment, but then he replied hesitantly.
"Has it ever occurred to you that I might like you... or something?" Seungmin had always been bad at talking about his feelings with others but... "I'm not here for minho. Why would I be?"
Frustrated, yn closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair.
"You know you don’t have to say things just to be polite. Why would you like me? You're just perfect... I'm surprised you even know I exist, let alone know my name. That's more than most people can say about themselves. So why would you go out for ice cream with me if not for my brother? I'm nothing special."
She sheepishly lowered her gaze to her slowly melting ice cream.
Seungmin liked the quick-witted side of her much better. When she knew that teasing and little insults weren't really meant.
He hated to see her hurt, he hated the people who had made such a wonderful person belive over and over again that she was invisible, that no one could notice or like her.
But most of all he hated that she thought he couldn't see her.
How could he miss the most beautiful of flowers in a huge garden? Even though she was small, even though she didn't vie for his attention like the other flowers, Seungmin couldn't take his eyes off her.
Perhaps he was bad at showing how important she was to him. But he had always taken it for granted. Not for a second had the thought crossed his mind that she might think he didn't like her.
"Am I not allowed to go out for ice cream with my favorite lee? I thought you knew that you've always been my favorite. I like you better, like all the other siblings of my members and maybe... if I'm honest, I like you better too, like some of my members... minho can be really annoying sometimes."
It was a desperate attempt to lighten the mood. They both laughed a little but seungmin knew it wasn't enough to tell her that.
"Yn... I like you. Sometimes I think I like you a little too much. I asked minho if the three of us could have ice cream together because I wanted to see you again and because I was... a bit worried. I don't like it when you shut yourself off like that, just study all day and don't text me anymore... because I miss you. You have no idea how much you mean to me. How could I ever miss you or forget that you exist?"
Seungmin sighed, perhaps now was the time to confess his feelings. Now was the right moment. She looked at him a little puzzled by his previous monologue, but she widened her eyes in disbelief at his next words.
"yn i don't just like you as minho's sister and not just as a friend... i like you in... a romantic way. Whenever you're around me, I get these damn butterflies in my stomach and I think in my brain too. So would you go on a date with me?"
"What? Um... so... you're serious, right? It's not a bad joke?" she stammered as her cheeks grew red hot.
"No, I'm completely serious." he laughed.
Wow... um of course i'm going on a date with you... do you have any idea how long i've been waiting for this moment?" She giggled nervously.
yn was quite flustered. She had expected a lot of things, but not this. In her head, he would have said something like "ok, as long as I don't have to stay here with you just to be polite, I'm fine." and then he would have left. She would probably still have been able to handle that better than this.
"Sorry, I'm just slightly overwhelmed." She laughed, looking half-laughingly and half-helplessly at seungmin, who seemed amused by the situation.
"Good, then we'll meet tomorrow evening for our first official date." seungmin added with a laugh and yn giggled too.
Maybe by the next day she had processed the fact that her crush had just confessed his feelings to her and asked her out. Maybe then her brain would work again.
The two grinned at each other and then started eating their ice cream again. This time, they also chatted while they ate. They laughed, giggled and teased each other.
"The ice cream tastes so good"
"You basic bitch can't judge that with your vanilla"
"Hey, at least I have better taste than you. I still don't understand why you are so obsessed whith mint chocolate ice cream. It just tastes like toothpaste."
"Take that back! I'll defend mint chocolate ice cream with my life!"
"If you like it so much, why don't you go on a date with your ice cream?"
"Yes, maybe I should do that. It would only have advantages... the ice cream is delicious, not as cheeky as you and no one will try to steal it from me because this society has not yet recognized the incredible value and taste of mint chocolate ice cream."
~☆~
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note: banner is not mine, credits to the owner ♡
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sleepystargaze · 15 days ago
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Why You May Not Relate to Vi's Choices in Season 2
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Vi is an adult who was parentified as a child, and her actions are largely influenced by the lasting psychological effects.
If you aren't familiar, parentification is when children become caregivers in their families and take on responsibilities that are inappropriate for their age. These responsibilities are often beyond their capacity, either because they lack the knowledge or the emotional maturity to perform these adult roles.
In Vi's case, she was largely left to care for the well-being of her siblings in the place of a consistent parental figure. And likely even before they lost their parents, Vi was left to care for Powder when her parents could not. The show literally starts with Powder in the care of Vi. Which can also explain why Vi was very deeply affected by the loss of their parents, while Powder was not, since Vi would likely have been her primary caretaker.
In adults, this generally can results in:
difficulty functioning independently
a greater risk of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse
difficulty setting boundaries: generally neglecting oneself to satisfy the needs of others
trouble relinquishing control
feeling a need to be a peacekeeper
tending to be a "fixer"
There are other things, but the ones above are the ones relevant to this discussion and they constitute a significant majority of the signs in adults. So, with this context in mind, let's take a trip down memory lane.
Inmate 516
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Humans don't exist in a vacuum, but Vi lived in the closest mental equivalent of it with her time in Stillwater. I don't think it's a stretch to assume the Vi that Caitlyn meets is much more emotionally grown than the young teenager who was dragged off by Marcus.
The one thing I've gleaned from the show about Vi's time here is that she has this Schrodinger's Powder thing going. She tells conflicting stories to Caitlyn and Jinx, but neither seem like a lie. She believed, or "knew", her sister was dead but persisted with the thought that she'll get out and return to Powder some day.
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So, to survive her years at Stillwater, the only thing keeping her going is this idea. Her own self-preservation is reliant on this feeling that she could return to not only Powder, but also the way things were. She still wants to take care of her sister. And honestly, it's only further reinforced by Vander's last words, "Take care of Powder."
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Enter Caitlyn from stage right, detective extraordinaire, bearing the sole evidence that Powder is, in fact, alive. Vi's daydream becomes a reality and she wastes no time shooting any shot she can to get out of Stillwater.
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A Little Walkabout with a Piltie: Part 1
Gather round ladies and gentleman, here we have our top hits under the "trouble relinquishing control" category, featuring:
"Too risky": a tale of avoiding bathyspheres.
"Don't you wanna blend in?": There are easier ways to get people out of their clothes, but I guess forcefully throwing clothes you just stole off a stranger 5 minutes ago works, too.
"We're here because I'm hungry.": Not the best first date, but at least the food was good.
And a fan favorite, "You're hot, Cupcake."
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Jokes aside, all of these actions are meant to maintain control over Caitlyn. This is Caitlyn's investigation, Caitlyn released her, and Caitlyn is an enforcer. All things that should give her control, but Vi is not having any of that knowing Powder is out there. Thing is, though, the result would likely be the same if she did let Caitlyn have more agency. Afterall, they looking for the same person. The only thing she is gaining by doing these things is the control itself.
A Little Walkabout with a Piltie: Part 2
Well, our favorite redhead runs off to get stabbed and has to be nursed back to health by Caitlyn. Here, we have a significant dynamic shift. Caitlyn tells Vi she has a "good heart." Right before Vi passes out, she hears Vander telling her the same echoing in her head. When she wakes she sees:
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Vander and her mom, Felicia, were Vi's major caretakers growing up. When Vi becomes conscious to her surroundings, she's met with Caitlyn caressing her face. Suddenly, Vi is associating these people's care for her with Caitlyn. It is exactly at this time that Vi begins opening up and allows Caitlyn to act as a caretaker.
Flash Forward to Tragedy
Well, we all know what happens, but the major takeaways here are Caitlyn has suddenly lost a parent and Vi has realized she can no longer help Jinx, she cannot "fix" her.
Caitlyn is no longer in a position to care for Vi in the way Vi needs, and Vi needs someone to care for. The roles in their relationship have suddenly been reserved. When Caitlyn opens up about the void her mother left, she says, "It's all coming apart."
Vi tells her "We won't let it."
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If Caitlyn needs to keep things together and needs to feel control in her life again, then that is now also what Vi needs.
The Grim Truth of the Matter
Honestly, the most harmful thing for people who were parentified as a child is the fact that it becomes extremely difficult for the person to prioritize themselves over others, especially the ones they love regardless of if those loved ones treat the parentified adult fairly or not. You would be amazed the degree to which a parentified individual will let themselves turn a blind eye and forgive and sacrifice themselves.
I think a lot of people found Vi's story arc dissatisfying in season 2, because a lot of it relied on other people and her making seemingly uncharacteristic choices. Like her purpose in the show was solely to help other storylines. The sad truth is, parentification creates a severe lack of sense of self, and I think this is the biggest hidden battle for Vi throughout season 2. Who is she when she isn't acting in the interest of others? What needs to happen for her to let all of that go? How do you show that?
It doesn't feel great, because at the end she's only at the beginning of her healing journey. And if you have trouble relating to her struggles, you probably weren't a parentified child, yourself. It's hard to understand the effort required to let go, and by the end, Vi has. I think my favorite representation of this change is how she has less bindings as the story progresses until, by the end, she has none. She has finally unburdened herself and is learning to prioritize her own needs, and now she can finally begin to properly heal.
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No, it's not the most satisfying ending for a character arc, but not all major wins end in thunderous applause and fanfare.
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hearts-are-connected · 9 months ago
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Dang it, I love this ship and I love the enemies to lovers trope. I get that a lot of people see them as a surrogate father and daughter relationship, but it feels like a been there/done that kinda thing.
As much as I love that trope, I'm also a little tired of it. There's only so much Last of Us style found family I take after seeing it for so many years.
The thing I love about VaultGhoul or Ghoulcy is the idea of Lucy breaking down of Cooper's walls while he helps build hers up.
Is he incredibly cruel to her and those around him in the first season? Yes, extremely
Does he need to chill out and find some of his humanity that's been buried under 200+ years of wasteland survival and bitterness? Yes
Who can bring that needed direction to his life while learning the ways of the new world she finds herself in? Lucy MacLean
I know that the canon ship of the show at this moment is Lucy and Maximus, and as much as I love him, I find the pairing obvious and kind of boring from a story telling perspective. I loved it on my first viewing, but upon re-watching the series, I wasn't as behind it as before. I see their relationship, kiss and all, as a kind of first fling for the both of them.
While it doesn't diminish the care they show one another, there's not a lot behind them as a couple. Now I know that some people might turn around to say how she and Cooper spent less time together than her and Max, but I guess the thing I look forward to is seeing what their relationship brings with the second season.
I feel like Max and Lucy will have a great friendship and I'm interested to see where the Brotherhood fits into their dynamic as well.
With Cooper though, I find his story so tragic, as it's supposed to be. He's your standard hardened survivor who only looks out for himself that's now stuck with the happy-go-lucky main character, however, she's not that character anymore by the end. She's still going to be the Lucy we love, but she's changed by the end. While not losing her compassion and some optimism, I think Cooper is going to bring out a harsher side to her as we saw when she bit off his finger.
I want to see her building up her walls and learning when to let them down. How to truly survive while still bringing her own energy to the wasteland and people around her. I want to see Cooper regaining some lost humanity while learning to truly care for another person again. To see the two of them as eventual equals in one another's eyes as they continue on their journey as reluctant allies.
I also want to say that I'm personally kind of tired of the 'age gap' argument. We have stories of teenagers falling in love with hundred year old vampires. So can we just drop the age gap thing?
As long as they're both consenting adults who understand what they're getting themselves into, who cares about an age gap.
Does it truly matter in the scheme of things when we're talking about a world with cryo-stasis and super mutants?
I personally don't think so.
I don't know if anyone will even bother reading this entire thing, and I know I went on a little long, but I wanted to write down my thoughts on the whole shipping situation with the Fallout TV show fandom at this moment.
I'm a VaultGhoul shipper and I can't wait to see where the second season takes our main trio of characters.
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alittlebitofloveliness · 7 days ago
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Darry does not parent anyone in the gang except Ponyboy. No, not even Soda, and definitely not Johnny or Dally.
I’m going to be honest and say I genuinely don’t understand where the idea of Darry being the ‘dad’ of the group, or some kind of father figure to Dallas or johnny of all people comes from, because it’s so explicit in the novel and even the movie that he isn’t (I haven’t seen the musical but from what I understand there's some sort of rivalry between Dallas and Darry there, so there probably isn’t any paternal dynamic there either). To claim Darry is a father figure to ANYBODY- even Ponyboy- is completely antithetical to his character. Darry is twenty years old. He’s a big guy, who has respect from most greasers, and he is the LEADER of the gang, looks out for all of them the way a brother would, but he does not PARENT any of them.
Even after the Curtis parents’ deaths, when he gets guardianship of both Ponyboy and Soda, the only one he actually attempts to parent is Ponyboy- and he clearly struggles with it. It’s not just the main source of tension between him and Ponyboy,  it’s the ONLY source of it. Canonically, Pony and Darry got along fine before the Curtis parents' deaths, were close even, because Darry is good at being an older brother. He always has been, because he is used to it and it doesn’t carry nearly the same level of responsibility as guardianship does. Darry never had to be a parent before, let alone to his brother, and he’s flying blind trying to figure it out. He doesn’t know what limits to impose that seem fair but not stifling, can provide materially but doesn’t know how to provide emotionally, because he’s a new parent who is struggling to raise a teenager instead of a newborn, and has no experience for what he’s doing. Darrel Curtis is DROWNING trying to figure out what being a parent means when he has only ever looked at Pony as a little brother instead of a dependent. He’s not happy. He’d never give his brothers up, but this new role is killing him, and it’s plain for anyone to see. 
This brings me to my next point: Darry is so overwhelmed trying to parent Ponyboy, it never even crosses his mind to try parenting Soda too. This isn’t even my interpretation- it’s textual. Soda doesn’t get hollered at, Darry doesn’t really care where he goes or what he does, and he never punishes him the way he punishes Ponyboy. It doesn’t help that Soda and Darry are closer in age than he and Ponyboy are. Soda is almost seventeen, he has a job and is street smart in a way Pony isn’t. Darry doesn’t have to worry about him as much so he doesn’t, because Soda could survive on his own if he had to, whereas Pony couldn’t. It would also be harder for Darry to discipline Soda if he wanted to, given Soda’s age and his agency, but again, Darry doesn’t want to. Soda doesn’t need raising, because he’s already been pretty raised, and Darry couldn’t handle raising him. Darry can already barely handle raising Ponyboy, and Soda has a tenuous role in the house as he plays confidante to both of them. Soda and Darry’s dynamic is pretty solid because their dynamic is still that of brothers, there’s been no upheaval in their relationship, and so there’s no major friction either. Besides that, there’s the fact that Soda is helping raise Ponyboy, not being raised himself. It’s a joke I’ve seen a few times that Darry plays ‘dad’ and Soda plays ‘mom’ to Ponyboy after the Curtis parents’ deaths, but there's an element of truth to it. Soda handles Pony’s emotional needs, gives him advice, reminds him he’s loved, where Darry provides discipline and material needs. Now, we see clearly in the novel this creates an unhealthy dynamic in the house and in Pony’s relationship with both his brothers, making him ‘hate’ Darry and idolize Soda, but it remains true nonetheless. Darry doesn’t know how to parent, so he follows the traditional social ‘script’ of what fatherhood meant in the sixties, and the rest of the household molded to fit the new Darry into the mold he cast himself in. But despite Darry’s best efforts and Soda’s help, Darry proves over and over he’s not good at parenting, and definitely isn’t filling the role of Pony’s parent let alone his father- and it all culminates with The Slap. 
Now, knowing this, having read the book and seen, even through Pony’s biased narration, that Darry’s attempts at parenting Pony are a bit of a dumpster fire, it’s plain to say Darry isn’t playing dad to anyone else in the gang. If he was he’d be harsher to them, strict with rules he’d expect them to follow (Darry does not like to be disobeyed and he definitely doesn’t like his authority challenged), and cognizant of their whereabouts at all times. He doesn’t do this with any of them though, because he ISN’T trying to parent any of them, and even if he was no one in the gang would let him. Steve is too self-sufficient, Johnny is too independent, and Dally is too Dally for it to ever happen- even if the small age gaps between the characters wouldn’t make the attempt almost comical. Darry is, only ever has been, and only ever will be, a brother to them. It means he can offer up the couch and share food and look out for them while they look out for him in return, without ever being responsible for them. Yes, Darry is superman, he’s the oldest of the gang, seen as dependable and protective. He’s the guy everyone goes to when they get in trouble, a symbol of safety, but not because he can fix things the way a parent would. Dally didn’t call Darry from the phonebooth as a scared kid looking for a parent’s comfort, he called him as a reckless kid looking for a brother’s help to hide his misdeeds. Johnny doesn’t crash on the Curtis’ couch as anything but a kid staying at his friends turned family’s house. He looks at Darry as someone protective, but not as a father figure. In fact, he probably sees better than anyone (except maybe Soda) that Darry isn’t a great guardian, having heard Ponyboy’s rants and seen firsthand how the dynamic in the house has shifted. 
Darry Curtis is everyone’s brother, but no one’s father. He never will be. The only person he ever attempts to parent is Ponyboy, and he’s not good at it. That’s the whole point. Darrel Curtis is a dependable guy, a smart, cool, tough-as-nails gang leader, but he is also still a twenty year old kid, in over his head, who leans heavily on his friends despite his pride, and who is greatly unequipped for the level of responsibility that has fallen onto his shoulders. To portray him as a person who is able to parent a gang of delinquent teenage boys almost his own age is disingenuous and out of character.
Darry Curtis is no one’s dad. That’s the whole point. 
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fandoms-x-reader · 6 months ago
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Teenage! MC
Requested By: @opiopal
Headcannons
Summary: How the brothers' would act around you if you were a teenager that got sent to the Devildom. The brothers x MC platonically / sibling relationship
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Lucifer felt a bit guilty when it came to you. He was the one who was in charge of picking the human for the exchange student program. So, by default, he was the reason you got ripped from your life and brought down to the human world.
He was surprised by how well you had adjusted to life there. You did your best to be respectful, did your homework, and had great manners.
Lucifer dared to say you behaved better than his brothers who were centuries years old.
But, you still had your moments that baffled Lucifer and made him mentally face-palm.
You were in a student council meeting with Lord Diavolo and the others; and, you dared to call Lord Diavolo “dude”. 
A collection of gaps broke out across the room when the word left your lips. You called the future King of the Devildom “dude”! You could see some of the brothers - mostly Belphie - stifling their laughter at the situation.
But, Lucifer was completely mortified. His eyes were wide and his expression looked flushed. He couldn’t believe your audacity.
Luckily, Diavolo laughed the whole situation off. He found it amusing.
But that didn’t stop Lucifer from giving you a long lecture on how you were to never do that again.
And the next time you came face-to-face with Diavolo, Lucifer was on high alert, ready to clasp his hand over your mouth every time you said any word that started with the letter ‘D’. Just to make sure that never happened again.
Lucifer was used to being the head of the household and making sure everyone did their daily chores and kept up with their studies.
And you were no exception to that, so Lucifer didn’t think twice about it when he asked you to do a simple chore.
But you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, it was very early in the morning, and you weren’t in the mood. All you wanted was to eat your breakfast in peace. You just wanted a moment of silence before you had to go to school.
“Y/N, you need to clean your bedroom after you get home from RAD today,” Lucifer stated simply, continuing to eat his breakfast. It was a simple request that certainly didn’t warrant a sassy response. But it was the straw that broke the camel’s back and a sassy response is exactly what he got.
You had a stoic expression on your face, barely missing a beat before you replied with, “And you and Lord Diavolo need to kiss already but neither of those things are going to happen so let’s not talk about it at 6 am.”
You hadn’t looked up from your plate yet, but you could imagine the shocked expressions on everyone’s faces. Especially Lucifer’s.
“Well, we’ve gotta get to RAD,” Mammon stated, practically pulling you up from your chair. He had seen that look on Lucifer’s face too many times and he knew exactly what followed afterwards. 
The other brothers quickly joined the two of you. Lucifer was not used to being defied and he was most certainly not going to be happy with the way you talked back to him.
The brothers found it amusing nonetheless. A teenager standing up to Lucifer of all people. And you didn’t even have a look of fear in your eyes!
Lucifer loved having you around. You were a welcome addition to the family. But he definitely got the brunt of your witty remarks and side comments.
And he had no idea how to handle it. It’s not like he could punish you like he did his brothers. You would barely survive half of them.
For once in his life Lucifer felt defeated…by a teenager.
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Mammon still tries to impress you as a teenager. But not in the same way. He wants to come off as the “cool” brother. The one that will let you stay out later than you’re supposed to, and take you for rides in his car, blasting music. 
Mammon loved it. Having you around made him want to be a good role model despite his spending tendencies.
He would still be a bit possessive of you. Only because he doesn’t want his brothers influencing you. Only he was allowed to show you things around the Devildom.
He wanted you to like everything he liked and hate everything he did. Movies? You liked the classic Devildom action movies, right? You didn’t like horror movies, right?!
And you loved going gambling with him, right? Didn’t you think it was so fun watching him win? Of course, he had to lie about your age to get you through the doors of the casino. But that just added to the fun of it.
And please don’t ever mention anything about witches to either of you. You both hated them with a passion. At least, Mammon will say that if someone ever did bring up the “w” word.
The truth is, that Mammon felt guilty about leaving that little girl he had found with the witches. It was for the best that she stayed up there in the human world. But, he couldn’t help but wonder if he would have been able to take care of her himself. 
And although you were more like another sibling than a child to Mammon, he wanted the chance to start redeeming himself. For the first time in his life, he wanted to be responsible for someone. Please be his mini-me.
But being responsible meant that sometimes he had to be more assertive than fun. Especially if you were putting yourself in danger.
You didn’t think you were. You thought that going out with Simeon and Solomon would be fine. You were just hanging out around town for a bit before heading back to the House of Lamentation.
But, you forgot to text the brothers that you were with them and when you hadn’t gotten home in time, Mammon snapped.
Worry filled his heart and directed his mind.
When he finally found you in town with Simeon and Solomon, relief came in waves. 
He took you back to the House of Lamentation, despite your protests. And, as soon as you were back, Mammon decided to give you a lecture. He had learned how to do it from the best, after all.
“What do ya think you were doing? You almost gave me a heart attack,” Mammon stated as you began walking to your room.
“We were just walking around town. Don’t you trust Solomon and Simeon?” you questioned, crossing your arms over your chest as you stood outside your bedroom door.
“I don’t trust ya out there by yourself without one of us to protect ya,” Mammon countered.
He didn’t mean it to come out the way it did. He was just worried about you. But, you were angry with his words. You were frustrated that he was treating you like a child so you replied with the first thing that came to your mind.
“Your whole thing is being a crow in a flesh suit. I really don’t want to listen to someone who would stop everything that’s happening in their life to pick up something shiny from off the ground.”
You entered your room before he could respond and closed the door on his face. Mammon stood there in shock while Levi and Asmo began snickering in the background. They couldn’t deny the truth in your words.
Mammon was stubborn when he wanted to be and that left the two of you giving each other the silent treatment. Just like he would do with any of his other siblings.
But, eventually, he apologized. Especially when he saw you growing closer to his other brothers in his absence.
Please forgive him. All of his other brothers have told them they wished he wasn’t their brother or part of their family. He can’t handle hearing that from you too.
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If you were a teenager who liked going out and doing things on a regular basis, you and Levi probably wouldn’t have a lot in common. And it would be hard to spend time with him.
But, if you were a teenager who liked watching anime and playing video games, you and Levi would be best friends. 
He was still wary of you at first. After all, you were a normie. And even if you were a teenage normie, he could never be too careful.
He’ll slowly open up to you though. If you impress him with your own otaku skills, the process will be even faster. Deep down, Levi just wants a friend who likes the same things he likes.
He wanted someone he could talk to. Someone who wouldn’t brush him off or tell them that he wasn’t making any sense.
Levi will invite you over to play games with him often. He enjoys playing with someone who is actually competent.
But even he isn’t safe from how sassy you could be. And if you and Levi played a game against each other, your competitive side came out and so did the sassy comments on both sides.
Levi had heard of a fighting game that was very popular up in the human world and he was dying to try it. He wanted to know how it compared to the fighting games that they have in the Devildom.
Let the trash-talking commence.
You’ll surprise Levi with the first couple of things you say. But he’ll quickly begin to fight back with his own remarks. Both of you fight diligently with both your words and the controllers.
And, when you start winning, Levi’s jealousy starts getting the better of him. He’ll tell you things like “You’re cheating” or “It’s because it’s a game from the human world.”
“Come on, Levi, just admit you’re not as skilled as me in video games,” you retorted. His eyes were now glowing as his fingers were pushing the buttons on the controller rapidly. He had to win.
“I won!” you exclaimed with a proud smile. That smile faltered though when you saw Levi’s expression. A dark aura surrounded him as he stated in a low voice, “I want a rematch.”
“Yeah, and I want a million dollars. But right now I don’t feel like beating an old man who’s lost his reaction time at a videogame…again,” you replied, before getting up and leaving.
Levi let out a small gasp as you left the room. Old man?! I mean, he technically was considering he was at least a few centuries old. But he has not lost his reaction time!! How could you say something so rude to him? He just needed practice, that was all.
Levi will pester you for the next few days, begging you to play with him. He’ll tell you his reaction time is better and that he won’t lose. He won’t give up until you either tell him that you think he’s a great gamer or until he beats you in the game. 
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Satan will take it upon himself to be the one who helps you with all of your studies. He usually won’t be the one who encourages you to neglect your education in favor of having some fun.
He would rather ensure your success. He wants you to be at the top of the class, with his help. He just wanted the best for you. And he wanted to rub it in Lucifer’s face later.
He’ll always suggest the two of you have tutoring sessions where he can help make sure you understand the lessons that are being taught.
He’ll stay late after class or show up early. He’ll meet you at the library or at the cafe. Wherever you would agree to meet him.
And although you appreciated him trying to help you, sometimes it was a bit much. Especially when it was early in the morning.
Which is exactly when Satan decided to have your latest study session. You were barely awake and hadn’t had any food or coffee yet.
You were sitting at a table, your books opened in front of you as Satan went on a rant about one of the lessons. Your mind was barely keeping up with what he was saying.
All you wanted to do was go back to bed, but Satan’s rant was never-ending as he tried explaining all the intricacies of the subject you were studying. 
You finally had enough when you had to catch yourself from falling out of your chair after you had accidentally fallen asleep.
“Okay, Satan, look I love you, but I hardly remember the difference between a verb and a noun so I have no idea what the actual fuck you are saying with your mouth and your face right now,” you stated.
Satan was taken aback at your sudden outburst. His eyes were wide as he suddenly took in your tired look. Normally, he would argue that it’s important to study. But, today he responded with, “We can pick this up later.”
You were thankful that you were finally able to return to your room and Satan was more careful about planning your study sessions. He’ll do his best not to overwhelm you again. 
Also, don’t think Satan was only serious around you. Satan had a very playful nature, especially when it came to Lucifer. And you were the perfect vessel for some of his pranks.
Satan knew that Lucifer couldn’t do anything towards you so he would beg you to be part of his pranks that he and Belphie would play on Lucifer. You were an integral part of the Anti-Lucifer league after all.
Sometimes you were bait, luring Lucifer into staying in a specific spot for too long. Sometimes, you were the one who actually set off the prank while Satan or Belphie distracted the eldest.
It hardly ever worked. Lucifer almost always knew what the three of you were up to. But it didn’t stop any of you from trying.
Satan thoroughly enjoyed having you there to help him. He believed you fit in with the family perfectly. 
He also related to you the most as you were both considered “late-comers” to the party. Neither of you had been angels, and although you weren’t a demon, Satan still felt like he connected with you.
You never made him feel like you were better than him or like he wasn’t his own person and he was thankful to have a sibling like that.
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Asmo thinks you are the most adorable thing in the world. He was the first one to dote on you out of all his brothers. How could he not?
Asmo is very accepting of you from the start and thinks of you as family almost right away.
He’s like Mammon in the sense that he wants to be the one to show you around the Devildom and teach you all the tricks he knows.
He wants to show you how to charm people and get them under your spell. Of course, he has to approve of the person you’re trying to charm and he’ll only let it go so far.
He’s the Avatar of Lust - but NO PDA. You were too young for that and these were demons after all. He didn’t trust a single one of them.
He’ll only let you try your charm on age-appropriate people and only until you have them hooked so that you know how to do it. Then, he’ll charm the person to go away himself. 
You better believe he also wanted to dress you up in all of the outfits in the Devildom. He loved taking pictures of you and posting them on Devilgram with captions like “Look at my lovely sibling! Aren’t they cutest?!”
But it could be overwhelming sometimes. The constant shopping trips and photo ops. The constant fashion shows and meeting new people all the time.
Adjusting to the Devildom was a task on its own and there were times when you just needed to be alone and recharge your social battery. Times when you just needed some peace and quiet.
You were trying on the sixth outfit of the night in Asmo’s bedroom. You had asked if you could be done on outfit number three. All you wanted to do was go to your room and relax.
Asmo promised the two of you would be done soon, but you saw no end in sight.
“Only a few more,” Asmo told you, shoving his arms full of clothes.
You let out a groan and Asmo turned to face you. You finally let the words you’d been holding back fly out of your mouth.
“Asmo, I know you’re too glam to give a damn, but I’m not your personal mannequin and all I want to do is lay down and relax!” you shouted, feeling relieved as you finally spoke the truth that was weighing you down.
Asmo isn’t used to you snapping at him like this, so he’ll give you some time to calm down. He doesn’t want to keep pushing your buttons.
Once you start talking to him again, he’ll want to do a spa day with you instead of going shopping. He’ll pay more attention to your needs and he won’t force you into doing anything you don’t want to do.
At the end of the day, Asmo is a very caring sibling and only wants the best for his family.
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The first time Beel saw you, he couldn’t help but think about how much you reminded him of Lilith.
It was simple things. Things he noticed just from where he was standing in the assembly hall when you first came to the Devildom.
Your big and innocent eyes. Your gentle and loving smile. You were so full of life, just like she was.
It didn’t take long for Beel to take you under his wing and decide to protect you. He acted like an older sibling and he was always there for you.
If you were upset, he’d find a way to cheer you up. If you were bored, he’d try to entertain you. If you were hungry - he knew just the cure!
When he found out that you had a connection to Lilith, Beel was ecstatic. It wasn’t your connection to Lilith that made Beel love you more. You were your own person and he’d never compare you to his little sister.
It was the fact that your connection to Lilith meant that you truly were part of the family. That you belonged no matter what obstacles stood in the way. It didn’t matter if you were human - he would always think of you as family.
When Belphie attacked you and killed you, Beel really thought he failed. He was plagued with images of Lilith dying. Belphie didn’t understand what he was doing - how Beel felt about you.
He didn’t understand how badly it hurt Beel to watch someone he thought of as a younger sibling die in front of him - again. 
When he saw that you were alive he had never felt more relieved. He promised you he would never let anything happen to you again. That he would protect you like any good big brother would.
And he was the perfect older sibling - for the most part. 
Lucifer had taken you up to the human world for a task. While you were up there, he allowed you to get whatever you wanted and bring it back down to Devildom.
You shopped around for a bit until you saw a supply of food that you used to eat all of the time. Food that reminded you of your childhood.
You immediately got it and brought it back with you.
You wanted to shower before you ate it because it had been a long day but when you returned to the kitchen, you were heartbroken at the sight in front of you.
Beel had eaten all of it! You didn’t even get to have a single bite of it. You could feel the emotions building up in you. Mostly because of the nostalgia that came with the food.
“Beel,” you stated, pausing for a moment to stabilize your wavering voice. “How could you?” you asked.
Beel looked up innocently from the food, a questioning look. He didn’t have the slightest clue what he did wrong.
“I get that you're a bottomless pit and that you're practically Kirby on steroids. But can't you just for once think about what you're eating before you eat it!” you stated before storming off.
The next day, Beel made sure to get the same food for you and brought it to your room as an apology.
He would do his best to never eat your food without asking again because he realized teenagers could be scary when they were hangry.
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Belphie obviously doesn’t have a good first impression of you. You had never done anything to him, he just innately hated you because of the fact that you were human.
He attacked you with no remorse until he saw how it affected his brothers. They were so upset about losing you and he couldn’t comprehend why.
He saw the way they embraced you when they found out you were alive and the scene triggered something in his brain. A memory of someone he loved the same way.
Belphie didn’t attack you again, despite his instincts telling him to do so. He was curious to see what all the fuss was about. 
Things between you and Belphie were tense for a while. You knew that he hated you because you were a human. But it’s not like you could do anything about it. There was no way for you to change your race, and even if there was, you wouldn’t do it just to appease Belphie.
Like Beel, the more time he spent around you, the more he saw you as a younger sibling.
He would protect you like an older brother, but he was the least serious out of all the demon brothers.
Your carefree nature was one of the things he adored. He enjoyed watching you be improper in front of Diavolo and the way it made Lucifer look like he was going to pop a blood vessel.
The way you talked back to Lucifer also entertained him. It was something all of the brothers wanted to do at one point or another, but they didn’t have the luxury to do so.
Yet you were just a teenage human and you dared to stand up to the Morningstar himself.
The first time you did it, Belphie immediately deemed you a worthy member of the Anti-Lucifer League. 
He had so much fun pranking Lucifer with you and Satan and he was thankful that you had brought him closer to the fourth-eldest.
He never once judged you for your sass or asked you to tone it down. He loved it because he could be just as witty when he wanted to be.
He also never thought that your sass would be directed towards him.
That was until you got caught in the crossfires of one of their pranks. 
Satan and Belphie had neglected to tell you that they had placed a cursed object in the living room, expecting Lucifer to pick it up. You found it first though.
The second you touched it, your entire body immediately froze and you were unable to move or speak.
Belphie and Satan came in with proud smiles on their faces until they saw that the person they had cursed was you.
They immediately rushed to your aid and Satan began saying spell after spell to try and undo the magic. 
Lucifer had entered the scene at some point and was holding back his scolding until after Satan had remedied the situation.
As soon as you were free you turned to all three men and stated, “I know this was your idea, Belphegor. I’ve had it with all the pranks. They’re silly, they take a ton of time to prepare and they never even actually hit Lucifer! It always fails or hits whoever else happens to fall for it.”
“Satan, I know that you don’t like Lucifer because you were born from him, but the only one who actually makes a big deal out of it is you! And Belphie, you are the youngest brother! Everyone dotes on you so stop acting like Carrie at the prom because you fit in just fine. And Lucifer, for the love of all things would it kill you to tell your brothers that you love them at least once in a while so that I don’t have to suffer through pranks like these anymore!”
At some point, your rant had attracted the other members of the House of Lamentation who were all looking at you with wide eyes.
You were a sassy human, but you were their human. You were part of their family and you did fit right in. They were proud to call you their human.
Especially Belphie who was somewhat glad that not even he was safe from your rants when you had been pushed to your limit.
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arlana-likes-to-write · 26 days ago
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hi, recently i told my mom about my self harm, because it had become unbearable and I realised that I needed help. Unfortunately, my mother didn't take it well and let's say she just scolded me? Maybe using a few too many words, bad words lol
uhm, I don't know if you're taking requests at the moment, but I wanted to give it a try anyway.
you can request a WandaNat x Daughter Reader where R tells moms about her self-harm problem OR where moms find out about it? just.. i need comfort and to hear sweet words.
or whatever I would have liked to hear and receive from my mother :)
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Orange Ribbon
Warring: please do not read if this is triggering there will be talk about self harm, current and past actions.
Note: I do want to let you know that I am so proud of you being so strong and reaching out to your mom when you knew you needed help. I am so sorry that she did not have the reaction you hoped. But I am proud of you and like Wanda said in this fic, you are so strong because you are still here and fighting. You matter. You are important. And I am so happy that you are here. Much love <3
Word Count: 1.8k
Like all addictions, people with an addiction told themselves they had it under control. That was what you told yourself. Each time you ran the blade across your skin, you said it was the last time. The lie tasted bitter in your mouth. In reality, you had no control over this behavior.
Your forearms were covered with old and new scars. The thin lines of blood stared back at you, haunting you. The question overpowered the guilt - can you go further and survive? The scars that once haunted you now taunted you. As an addict, you told yourself you were stronger than the addiction. Another lie you told yourself. You were weak to the rush; the instant relief of pressure gone on your chest. So you gave in.
Right away, you knew something was wrong. Instead of relief, panic rushed through you as blood pooled on your arms. “Shit,” you scrambled off your bed and ran to the bathroom—the wound stung as you put your arm underneath the water. Once you cleaned the cuts, you wrapped your forearms tightly with a bandage and gauze, “Shit,” you said once again. Maybe you were in a little bit of trouble.
︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶
With a sweater covering your arms and a baggy pair of sweatpants, you walked out of your room and into the living area. Your moms were on the couch, looking at paperwork before dinner. You were supposed to be doing your homework. Wanda’s head rested in Natasha’s lap while her fingers glowed red as documents floated around them. “Sweetheart,” Wanda saw you first, and the papers fell to the table. “Dinner is almost ready,” you could smell garlic and pasta sauce. The idea of food made your stomach twist. “Do you need help with your homework?”
“What are you guys working on?” You asked instead.
“Going over paperwork for an upcoming mission,” Natasha answered. “The team is leaving next week.” Right. They were doing important work. They were heroes, and you were nobody struggling with dumb teenage stuff. “Do you need something?”
You wanted to scream, yes! You needed help, but the words were trapped in your throat. The two heroes were dealing with more important things than you. “No,” you finally answered. Was your silence too long? Did you give yourself away? “I just wanted to see when dinner would be ready.” You lied, and you went back to your room.
You were worthless. A stupid, stupid girl that could get a handle on this. There was no reason to worry Natasha and Wanda when they’ve done so much for you. They saved your life. You were in Sokovia when the Avengers came. You were stripped from your home country and brought to the States. At 6 years old, you were put into the foster care system. Four years later, you were taken out of the system and adopted by the two Avengers. That was 3 years ago, and you loved the life they gave you. However, a darkness invaded your mind.
The sound of bombs would wake you up at night. The four years in the system left you with scars that you weren’t sure would ever heal. “Shit,” you sat on your bed and rolled up your sleeves. The gauze was stained red. You had to take care of them, but you were so tired. Everything felt numb, and you were so cold.
Until warm hands cradled your face and you were brought back to reality. “Mama,” you whispered as your vision cleared and you saw Wanda. “I’m in trouble.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” using your mother tongue caused tears to pool in your eyes and down your cheeks. “Your mom is going to get you cleaned up.” Quickly, Wanda moved to sit next to you, and Natasha took her place. The Black Widow had a first aid kit opened and gloves on her hand.
“I will be as gentle as possible, but this may hurt,” you nodded. Natasha took off the gauze, and you heard her sharp inhale. “You’ll need stitches on the right arm,” she said. “Do you want me to do it here or get Helen?”
“You,” you managed to say. Natasha nodded and prepared the needle. Wanda kissed the side of your head with each needle pass and whispered gentle reassurances. You were ashamed to tell her there wasn’t any pain. Once Natasha was done, she bandaged both arms.
“Are there any others?” She asked. You shook your head. “Where is it?” You knew what she was talking about. Silently, you pointed to your dresser. The blade was hidden in your dresser drawer. You put it in a jewelry box that Natasha now held in her hand. The redhead sat next to you, kissing the top of your head, and pushed some of your hair behind your ear. The dame broke. It crumbled around you. A sob escaped your lips, and you fell against Wanda.
“I’m sorry,” you cried on her chest. “I’m sorry that I’m so weak.”
“No, no, baby,” Wanda said. You are so strong, but we need you to breathe. Deep breathes.” You tried to copy Wanda’s breath, but it seemed impossible—until you felt Natasha’s hand on your back, helping guide you through it.
“Good job,” Natasha said. Finally, it took time, but your breathing slowed down, and your cries turned into soft whimpers. You pulled yourself out of Wanda’s arms and rubbed your face. The movement caused your arms to burn.
“I thought I had it under control,” your throat was sore, and your head was pounding. “I thought I could stop whenever, but I couldn’t,” you stared at the bandages on your arm and pulled down the sleeves of the sweater.
“Why didn’t you come to us?” Wanda asked. You shrugged.
“You guys are heroes,” you whispered. “You had more important things to worry about.” Natasha sighed and stood up suddenly. “Mom, where are you going?” You asked as panic rushed through you.
“It’s okay,” Wanda squeezed your hand. “She’ll be right back.” True to her word, Natasha was back. She knelt in front of you.
“You will always matter more than an Avenger mission.” To your surprise, she carefully moved up your sleeve to show your scars again and then pulled up her sleeve. You saw scars that matched your own. They were faint as time healed them. You took one of your hands and traced the scars. “You are so important to me and your mother, and you will overcome this because of how strong you are.”
“I’m not strong,” you countered.
“Yes, you are,” Wanda said. “Because you are still here and fighting. Because you came to us when it got too much.” You felt unworthy of their love and support. The couple shared a silent look, and Natasha lifted your right arm. Around your wrist, she tied an orange ribbon.
“An orange ribbon,” Natasha smiled. “The color that represents self-harm,” Once it was perfectly tied, she took both of your hands in hers. “This behavior can not continue, and I think you know that,” you nodded. “The road to recovery won’t be easy, and there will be five steps back for every 1 step forward, but this is a gentle reminder of how strong you are, and your mother and I will be with you every step of the way.” It seemed easy to fall forward.
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After dinner, you fell asleep in their bedroom. The thought of being away from them sent a wave of fear through you, and the couple shared the same sentiment, so no one batted an eye when you crawled into the middle of their bed. Natasha watched you sleep. She made sure to check your wounds before you fell asleep. You were out like a light; the emotional toll of the day caught up with you. Natasha could also feel sleep calling to her, but she fought it. Her eyes kept scanning over you for any sign of pain or cuts she missed.
Cuts. Cuts that were given to you by your own hand. The thought turned her stomach. When Wanda brought up adopting a child, someone from Sokovia, the Black Widow, was hesitant. She was okay with kids and trusted enough to be left alone with the Barton kids when Clint and Laura went on a date. That was a different relationship. She was the fun and cool aunt, not their mother. But she fell in love with you when your social worker showed them your case. Your eyes were so bright even when your face and clothes were covered in dirt. Each year passed while you were in the system, Natasha saw the brightness in your eyes die down. Now, with them, the light was returning, but Natasha felt like she had failed you. She was too busy being an Avenger to notice her daughter was struggling.
“You know,” she heard Wanda’s voice but kept her eyes on you. “If you close your eyes, she won’t disappear.” Natasha nodded and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s waist.
“We almost lost her,” Wanda hummed in agreement.
“But we didn’t. She is safe,” the redhead turned to look at Wanda. Carefully, she lifted her sleeping shirt to expose her stomach. The Black Widow left soft kisses on scars that mirrored her own and now her daughter. Wanda’s gentle hands ran through her red hair. The soft whimper coming from you broke the moment of peace. Natasha turned to look at you.
Your hands were clutching onto the sheets. A frown was on your face, and your eyebrows were pinched together—the sign of a nightmare. Wanda was quick to move to her side of the bed. Her fingers and eyes flashed red, and then slowly, you began to wake up. You gasped and grabbed onto Wanda’s hand. “I know,” the younger. “You’re safe. So is your mom,” you glanced at the Black Widow, who offered you a smile. Nodding, you curled up against Wanda. The room was silent besides the hitch in your breathing.
“We were back in Sokovia,” you finally spoke. Natasha put her hand on your back to offer more comfort. “I couldn’t get to the Helicarrier. I kept running and running, but I couldn’t.” It seemed unfair how much you’ve been through at a young age.
“That didn’t happen,” Natasha said. “You are safe. Right here between us.” You nodded, laid on your back, and played with the ribbon on your wrist.
“Thank you,” you whispered. “For saving me then and now.”
“You don’t have to thank us,” Natasha smiled. “It is our job to love and protect you.” It was your turn to smile.
“I love you guys, too.” You cuddled up against the Black Widow and closed your eyes. Being your mother was the greatest gift, and she’d treasure it forever.
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