#to realize exactly what kind of hell oliver went through and how their own self-obsession precludes basic empathy

[coldflasher]

started rewatching arrow and far be it from me to defend oliver queen but what the fuck is wrong with this man's family?? your missing son comes back from what you believe to be a five-year stint on a completely deserted island. alone. zero human contact and no concerns other than survival. and you want him to put on a suit and be in charge of a company despite having no education or training and being freshly returned from said deserted island

HELLO? do they realize what a miracle it is that this man is even coherent. he's riddled with ptsd! moira is like "oliver i am deeply disappointed that you didnt experience personal growth during your five-year survivalist nightmare. i thought you would come back and somehow not only be normal but also socially well adjusted." like madam the fact he is walking and talking and wearing clothes and acting fairly normal is astonishing in and of itself. he's been eating birds and sleeping in a tree. what does this man know about shareholders and ROI

[astarlightmonbebe]

compilation of thoughts and theories on chain of gold

for reference here is my theories before reading

pls do not expect coherency i have never been coherent about books in my life

also spoilers! and it’s really long! you have been warned

- okay to start we are going to be talking about my MAN matthew fairchild because he’s making me hurt too much. you guys know how much i love him, but especially after reading chog i mostly feel super sad? because it’s so obvious that at this point he is so far gone, like he’s been walking the path of self destructiveness for so long and in the fact of his own internalized self hatred and guilt he ends up hurting other people along with himself--or he will, for all the much he loves his friends. i really feel that he needs to get a handle on himself, but he’s so afraid that if anyone ever knew his secrets that everyone would turn him away, but in the fact that he’s keeping them--he’s digging his own grave and i’m sobbing. someone needs to help him; while i feel it is important that matthew saves himself, i don’t think it’s something he can or should necessarily do alone.

- this is kind of about the grace situation? like wow i hate that girl. i swear she tears apart a flower every morning to decide how hot or cold she’s gonna be for the day. i felt like the slightest inkling of pity for her like maybe once in the book but in the end she’s sooo two faced and i can’t bring myself to like her knowing she’s the reason they are all going to practically fall apart (especially james/matthew/cordelia). 

- i told you guys she was involved with some witchery huhhh...as expected, the bracelet is found guilty...i guess because of james’ demon blood, her regular magic doesn’t work, which makes me wonder if it is connected to demon blood (maybe warlocks??). anyways i hate her and making boys do things without consent. i do find it a little fishy that matthew hasn’t caught on, especially after the kiss? like despite all the secrets he keeps, i highly doubt he would do anything that would hurt james (with active realization; we’re not talking about mental states right now). and the fact that james knows something is bothering matthew and how matthew feels james’ pain so acutely? you can’t tell me their bond is breaking or fragile, because to me it seems strong even if the two of them are liable to break and take it with them as they do.

- can i just say. i was so disappointed. to find out. that CASSIE IS DOING ANOTHER love triangle like pls kill me now. i’m actually devastated and super unhappy about it because we a) already did this last series and b) just??? i don’t want another reason for those three’s relationship to become more strained? tbh, i kind of like cordelia/matthew if it wasn’t for the fact that matthew has his own issues, cordelia is hopelessly head over heels for james, and james has feelings for cordelia if you take the bracelet and grace a w a y. i do love how cordelia seems to see matthew in a way that nobody else does and she’s willing to confront him in a way that no one else does (looking at you, lucie). i mean, props to matthew for not going to intervene during their arrangement, but like...that’s another secret, too. anyways. i’m big sad over this.

- cordelia!! i have to admit, i have fallen for her more than i expected to. her pov was wonderful and i loveeee her character. she takes everything in stride and is really mature and in control of herself, which i like. plus there are a lot of sides to her, and i enjoyed getting introduced to them all. we really saw character growth throughout the book with her too--she definitely matured in her feelings, despite all the heartbreak she’s been put through, and i love how she changed her mindset when finding out the truth about her family instead of being, say, stubborn that her father was innocent. 

- on the other hand...i like lucie and james but i also...don’t??? idk, i genuinely did enjoy reading their perspectives but i don’t feel that in love or connected to the two of them as i thought i would be. especially lucie. don’t get me wrong---i absolutely adore lucie and her writer self, but i definitely went into chog thinking i was going to be a lot more invested in her. i think cc did a good job with her character, despite some of lucie’s actions and views not really aligning with me. i don’t know, to me she just seems a little too naive. maybe it’s because cordelia is such a contrast to her. and shoutout to james, who is having a horrible time. i feel bad for him, but his character is alright. i just want him and cordelia to be happy honestly.

- lucie and jesse was nice, honestly. i really went into chog thinking that jesse disappeared and tatiana just said he died, but i guess actually dying is cool, too. i have to say, i was partially right about lucie’s power (even if it wasn’t the cool out there one i wanted it to be). jesse’s humor is actually right up my lane. i thought he was going to be dry, but i enjoyed his character a lot, honestly. i don’t see them as romantic though? to me he’s like another endearing older brother figure to her at this point. 

- jesse so willingly giving up his last breath like !!! you can tell how painful it is to be trapped here, like that must suck.

- grace and lucie about to team up next book i see?? kind of looking forward to it, ngl. they have a common interest (jesse) who they would do anything for. i’m intruiged.

- also called it, villain was a prince of hell! wasn’t belial in a gotsm story? or am i tripping out because i think i’m tripping.

- when i said it was likely for barbara or oliver to die I DID NOT MEAN BOTH OF THEM!!! i was actually getting attached to barbara and her good eyesight. i want to know the tea with eugenia too. 

- anna lightwood is forever an icon in my eyes. she’s a power unto herself and i can’t wait to see her in the next couple of books. i had a feeling ariadne was going to chase her...not that psyched about it but curious all the same. i love how anna’s first reaction was ‘oh so you heard that charles dumped you from me not him’

- anna and cordelia are awesome. i love how anna takes one look at cordelia and immediately decides she needs new clothes (thankfully, i swear, pastel is never a good choice for someone with cordelia’s complexion, like?? shouldn’t her mom know that.)

- charles. no words. why is he that kid in school, the one that has every answer and an obsession with wwii or whatever like TT. just run for president. (oh my gosh that’s it he reminds me of a politician in modern times)

- which moves me onto alastair. who honestly i love so much, 10/10. i honestly can’t remember why i liked him so much going into this book? but that’s not important because if i had any doubt in my heart, it is now gone and crushed. like the reason i like alastair and not grace is because alastair is such a prime example of character growth. not that his intrinsic personality has changed, but he’s realized he’s done bad things that he can’t exactly make up and that are not excusable, whereas grace keeps doing bad things continuously (and let’s be honest i think what she’s doing is worse. at least alastair is honest lol (jkjk)). plus he dyed his hair and that’s suddenly all i needed in my life.

- i love the carstairs siblings so much!!! they are my fave duo and i love how realistic their interactions are. idk how to explain it, but they really warm my heart. especially how alastair has been protecting cordelia all her life and she really had no idea. his speech when he told her about their father’s drinking habits made me want to cry. i love how he’s so endearing towards her too; he’ll be all annoyed and then one second later is panicking over the fact that he can’t find her and that she could be in danger. plus cordelia cares for him a lot, like how she wanted to leave during his and charles’ breakup, but stayed because she could feel he needed her, even when he let her go. i can’t wait for their relationship to continue to grow, especially with their secrets out in the air. sibling solidarity. 

- and that brings me to *dundundun* thomas! i found myself really interested in him and liking his character a lot, not just because he’s a giant, either. (i will never stop laughing over the fact that thomas is a literal tree). i find him such a strong character, despite all the grief he must have been close to drowning in. he stayed away from his family all that time, too, but also he was with people who were basically his family and i stan that. 

- a break to talk about christopher. i never thought he would get hurt, but thank goodness he had a cure all worked out. i love how he’s actually so coherent at times, despite being stuck in his own head. i kind of forgot he wasn’t spacey 24/7, so this was a nice reminder. he’s going to go places, mark it.

- on that note, i called the thomastair spain moment, though it was not in the way i expected it to be. i love how thomas so obviously caught feelings for alastair but like. had no idea what to do with them. he was just over there shivering and showing alastair his tattoo like boyyy. that kind of makes the engagement all that much sadder, because for one, i was glad that it finally got out (though tbh i kind of forgot alastair said all that other stuff and i was like ‘son, never say that again’) but it was so...heartbreaking??!

- like you can see that thomas was so stunned and hurt by the realization that alastair said that about his family behind his back at the academy, all while being somewhat nice to him in the face of it, especially considering that thomas was the one who always stood up for alastair in their friend group. and alastair--the fact that he was there to finally try to put it all behind them, to finally try to start something, only for it all to come crashing down. the fact that he was so resigned, knowing that thomas deserved the truth even if it meant he could lose everything.

- i just have so many feels about that particular scene. matthew’s bitter voice as he recounts everything alastair ever said. how thomas turned so hard and cold and was like ‘you’re not the person i thought you were’ and told alastair to never show up in front of him again. how alastair was so sad and he couldn’t even hide it, he didn’t even have words. how he cried when alastair is like, the person the you least expect to cry in a room.

- magnus though. he took one look at matthew and was like ‘oh gosh there’s another one of them self destructive men who drink themselves into oblivion’. like yes!!! pls save my son magnus!! he needs help.

- chog was filled with lapidary phrases though. there were a ton of good quotes.

- i said theories but i forgot them all, honestly. this is just a rant on characterization. *cries*

- if james is dishonest to cordelia in the next book he’s gonna have to catch these hands. he won’t even see me coming. i’m watching you, james herondale.

- also, great. tatiana and belial. great. (read: sarcasm)

thanks for reading !

[childofsquidward]

Speedy^3 Kids

Y’all can thank @temmie-loony for being subjected to my ramblings because she was the one who fed my obsession. Hope you like my the kids!

Zander Sebastian West (KJ Apa)

born May 14th, 2015 (Taurus); 25; eldest of the speedy^3 disaster fam

Sebastian was actually his last name, but he took Wally’s last name after they adopted him, so it became his middle name; he goes by the name “Bounce” on the field

he actually wanted to use Blink, but there’s already a pretty powerful superhero who’s well-known throughout the multiverse that uses the moniker and Zander didn’t want to step on any toes, especially as a first-time hero

he almost went with Shortcut before his wonderful younger siblings all pointed out that it sounded more like a speedster’s name, which he begrudgingly agreed with

his top choice was actually Super Saiyan, but he thought no one would take him seriously; Cisco later on told him that Super Saiyan was his top choice as well

if one more person says some variation of “Bounce, let’s bounce,” he will start chucking people into the netherworld

metahuman: in short, his power is matter manipulation; this means that he can shape matter into anything that he wishes, which also grants him the ability to move just about anything and anyone anywhere his heart desires (he can telepooooort)

when they first met him, after Jesse has analyzed his powers, they thought that he might actually have telekinetic abilities as he could use his powers without physically touching anything while in reality just his very presence, regardless of proximity as they developed, was enough to take a building apart (which they later found out and Jesse geeked over it for a good two hours or so)

manipulating air particles allows him to teleport to the sky, which makes it seem like he can fly even though he can’t

his powers are tied entirely to his emotions, more so when he was younger and little control over his powers; he has grown to be so laid back and easy going that it’s almost impossible for him to ever lose control of his powers now

when he got a little older, he discovered that his ability disperse particles applied to living things as well; he pretty much just exploded into little scattered bits one day and Jesse had a meltdown

despite popular belief, no, he can’t just teleport criminals to the pipeline cuz they’re metas 99.99% of the time, and dark matter is not the same as matter, therefore, he can’t manipulate dark matter; this applies to dark matter objects as well, like, he can’t just move Cicada’s dagger into a volcano

very limited knowledge/use of combat skills; he learned basic self-defense from Alex of all people (he refused to learn from both his mother and uncle Ollie because he claims that running around an island that translates to fucking purgatory is insane, not mention just dramatic as hell)

he hates running with the white hot intensity of fifty billion suns; this is also why everyone was shocked when they learned he joined the track and field team of all things to which he promptly assured them, “as a high jumper guys, don’t be crazy”

they took him in when he was five after falling in love with his little puppy eyes and adorable smile (fucking Harry thought he was the most precious thing to ever walk the face of the Earth)

moved out about three or four years ago actually cuz the house is SO crowded, like geez, Connor thinks living with Dawn's bajillion pets is bad?

he picked up Jesse's death smile, like that charming Disney smile she has before unleashing all hell

he's pure childlike wonder and basically a giant puppy

the goofiest of goofballs

fun fact: he once saw ‘Hogwarts’ as one of the WiFi accounts available on his phone and promptly exited the bus a good twelve stops before he should’ve, magically discovered a megaphone and shouted “will the house with Hogwarts wifi please speak up?” into it and a girl marched out of one of the houses half annoyed half amused

Zander asked if she believed in soulmates and then how she felt about the movies; she called him a doofus and said she’d see him tomorrow for the 2 o'clock showing of Kung Fu Panda

that was a five-year relationship

when he was younger, yelling or shouting of any kind, especially directed towards him, would immediately trigger panic attacks

the first time it happened, Zander was six and had been living with them for less than a year

they were at Star Labs, Wally and Thea were arguing about something and Jesse tried to intervene, which led to her yelling as well

it took all of ten seconds for Zander to start shaking uncontrollably and accidentally shatter the mug on Jesse’s desk in the process which caused his parents to realize that he was there

Thea was first to approach him, more adept to the symptoms of a panic attack than Wally and Jesse, but Zander backed away from her

Wally and Jesse were frozen in place while they watched their son curl up into a ball, continuously switching from chanting and mumbling to screaming “go away” and “stop it”

meanwhile Thea just sat across from him, keeping her distance so she wouldn’t make things worse, not saying a word - which helped because after a good ten to fifteen minutes of pure deafening silence, Zander’s breathing slowed down and his muscles relaxed and he didn’t flinch when Thea moved closer

from that day on, Thea, Wally and Jesse agreed that to never raise their voice around their kids, especially Zander

the second time it happened was two years later at Star Labs on Earth 1

now we all love Harry, and we know that him yelling and shouting is just a part of his personality

Zander, who hadn’t gotten to spend as much time with his grandfather as he would’ve liked cuz Harry always seems to be needed on different Earths, did not

Speedy^3 left Team Flash to babysit while they went on a mission, and only Harry and Cisco were in the cortex at the moment, and you can’t have Harry and Cisco be in the same room and not argue

so Zander was just doing his homework at what had become Iris’s writing nook, when Harry and Cisco’s argument turned into Harry yelling at Cisco and the latter marching out of the cortex in a huff

and that’s all it took to trigger a panic attack - he dropped his pencil and a beaker in the med bay burst before Harry finally turned to him

Harry had no idea what was going on because one, he had never experienced someone going through a panic attack or an anxiety attack in his presence, and two, none of Zander’s parents had ever mentioned his panic attacks to him

his first instinct is to immediately switch to a softer tone that he’s only ever used with three people - his wife, his daughter, and now his grandson

he started off by assuring Zander that he wasn’t yelling at him, and then he went on to explain that he wasn’t actually angry, and just a lot more of fumbling around for right thing to say until Zander didn’t look absolutely terrified when looking up at him

Harry actually kind of toned down his incessant need to just be shouting all the time - even after Zander had worked at understanding more or less that if his parents did end up yelling at him or at anyone else, it usually wasn’t out of anger, but out of concern and love

Zander was never open to talking about his panic attacks with anyone, it was kind of a struggle for him to even open up to his parents, like, if someone even accidentally let it slip or hinted at it, he would just shut down

he had actually been forced to go to therapy by the foster system he was under, and he hated every second of it, it was no help to him

at one point, maybe age 9 or 10, Zander just blurted out “What’s wrong with me?!” which led to a three hour discussion between Thea, Jesse and Wally as to how they would explain Zander’s panic attacks to him because while they know what triggers it, at that point, they still had no idea what exactly caused him to get triggered (they explained it to the best of their abilities though, because they can’t just not explain his panic attacks to him)

he hated that there was no possible way for him to control his panic attacks, they just happened, and he didn’t want anyone telling him how to go about dealing with them, so he was very adamant on finding his own coping mechanisms because he wanted to have some sense of control over the situation

he graduated from teachers college about four years ago and found a permanent teaching position at the local elementary school less than a year ago; he loves the idea of being able to have a positive influence on young kids and loves coming in and seeing their bright smiles at ass crack of dawn

always comes home with chalk and marker stains on his hands and clothes because what even is an eraser?

Zander is also not a morning person and is usually super cranky if woken up before 10AM, but being a teacher and having his one place has changed his daily routine in such a way that he may be turning over a new leaf

probably has a cheesy tattoo to remind him of home (trust me, he’s the type); maybe like the star labs logo? or the outline of the state of Missouri (which is where Central City is)

Francine “Frankie” Laurel Queen (Olivia Holt)

born March 22nd, 2019 (Aries); 21; second eldest

she was named after Wally’s mother and Thea wanted at least one of their kids to have Laurel’s name as a middle name; goes by Eagle on the field

they found her on Earth 2 when she was a baby - Wally and Jesse were putting out a huge fire, where Frankie’s family died, so instead of putting her up adoption they just decided to adopt her themselves 

she looks like a young Moira Queen, it’s ridiculous, Malcolm (who shows up occasionally as he does, that relationship is just waaaaaay too complicated to pinpoint, much less explain) and Oliver both bring it up constantly

every time Frankie’s on Earth 1 with her mom, someone will mention how much she looks like Moira, right down to her mannerisms; like former Queen Consolidated employees have walked away from her accidentally the first few times she came around because they thought Moira Queen had returned

Thea doesn’t really notice it herself at first because she has adopted a lot of Moira’s tendencies herself without realizing, but when she finally did, she actually admitted that it was a little scary, almost like looking at the ghost of her mother

also, turns her biological grandmother was actually a Moira Queen doppelganger

this close to moving out

even though she constantly brings it up, Zander knows she never will; like, freaking Tess (their youngest sibling) will probably move out before Frankie ever seriously considers it because out of all her siblings, Frankie is the most attached to their parents

she and Jade both have keys to Zander’s place though

he doesn’t know (but he does)

since she is the only non-meta out of all her siblings, Thea had hoped that she’d take up archery, but given the amount of time Frankie spent around Sara, she quickly became infatuated with the art of knife throwing; her knives of choice include f-s fighting knives (because they’re practical and effective) and karambits (because they look badass and are great for interrogations and such); she rarely uses her knives to penetrate through flesh, she’ll actually throw them so they catch on someone’s shirt and nail them to the wall (her aim is scary good - I mean, we all know who one of her two mothers is - only to be rivaled by her younger brother Robbie’s)

Harry and Joe both had a heart attack when they found out

Wally thought it was cute… up until Sara started saying crazy shit like, “you know, Frankie would be a great addition to the Waverider” which led to Wally hanging up every time she called

Jesse was surprisingly only mildly concerned

Thea immediately bought herself some Aspirin before yelling at Sara

Sara responded by then teaching Frankie how to hotwire a car

she took karate (started age 5) and gymnastics (started age 4) as a kid

she gained her black belt at age 10

Sara tried to teach her kung fu, but Frankie insisted that karate was better for combat because she found kung fu to be too calming; Sara did however manage to interest in other forms of martial arts like taekwondo, judo and sambo

she actually got really into artistic gymnastics specifically and even seriously committed to competitions for a few years before deciding to get serious about college (to everyone’s surprise)

even though she’s never gotten the chance to meet Laurel, the former Black Canary has had a huge impact on her life, mainly stemming from Frankie’s curiosity of her middle name and things kind of just snowballing into Thea and Sara telling her countless stories about Laurel

she actually took up boxing after being inspired by the fact that it first was the first kind formal fight training that Laurel had before becoming a vigilante

unfortunately for the entire family, she gained Jesse’s spending habits, so Thea will find a thousand dollar inflatable mattress in the family gym, or Robbie (Child #4) might step on his sister’s spikes for shoes and hop around his room with blood and glitter covering his foot

100% the most anal of all her siblings:

she color codes everything (including her notes on the freaking Notes app)

would probably lose her head without her planner

can tell you exactly where everything is in her room and will know if it’s been moved

constantly reorganizes the pantry

Wally, at least once a week: “Did you alphabetize the spice rack again?”

will move the couch even while someone is sitting on it because she thinks it’s crooked

Kara, when she first witnessed it: “Are you sure she doesn’t somehow have Kryptonian dna or something? Cuz’ no speedster I know has superhuman strength.”

hates that one of their walls is a lighter shade than the others

Robbie: “Oh my god, you can’t even tell, let it go Frankie”

has only ever seriously committed to a few things, be it activities or relationships; she just has this need to always be on the move and feels the need to constantly change things up in her life

has been through many phases in her life as a result: her art phase, her music phase, her baking phase (which led to a cooking class at the community center, and then resulted in a life ban cuz she blew it up), her dance phase (twice), her ‘wanting to be a scuba diver so bad she was ready to start taking lessons before she remembered that she’s deathly afraid of water’ phase and so on and so forth

she tried ballet but quit after two days because she has zero rhythm

she wanted to learn guitar, and the poor instrument would be collecting dust in their attic if Zander hadn’t decided to pick it up

she also took piano for a hot second... a literal second

after quitting pro gymnastics to focus on school, Frankie immediately regretted it because she had no idea what she wanted to do; she didn’t want to sit in some boring lecture hall with 400 strangers for three hours every week, she wanted to do something more hands-on (hence she always enjoyed watching her hacker aunts and uncles - who 100% contributed to her taking apart just about anything with a circuit board - as well as learning from them), but nothing seemed to catch her attention

she eventually just enrolled in undeclared arts, which let her take whatever she wanted, and a lot of what she took ended up being criminology classes, which fascinated her to no end

with a lot of hard work, she ended up finishing a four year bachelor’s degree in criminology in just three years

the minute she graduated, she applied to take the LEE (Law Enforcement Examination), which surprised just about everyone

Joe bawled

next stop: police academy!

also, it should be noted that Frankie has made it a point to emphasize that while she carries small daggers on her off the field, she will not be doing so a cop, so you can breathe now Uncle Barry and Papa Joe

her favourite romcom of all time is hands down 10 Things I Hate About You, and it is one of the few things that she and Jade will ever argue about

Jade, every single time Frankie sits down to watch it: *groans in agony*

Frankie, who has perfected Thea’s (Moira’s) ‘i can and will fuck you up beyond your imagination’ glare: *hisses*

has an eagle tattoo on her forearm and Laurel’s calling card on her lower back (y’all know that classic Black Canary logo right? that’s what I’m talking about)

easily the bossiest person you will ever meet

gets in the most trouble; also most likely to throw a party when her parents are out of town

that one person who’s always like “ooo, what does this button do?!” and then proceeds to press it

this usually leads to everyone completely losing their shit (I on the other hand, along with Ralph of all people, think that it’s adorable - she’s just a curious kid)

easily the best driver in the family because Wally and Jesse never drive and whenever they do it’s like being in a death trap, Zander has switched to public transport because he tends to swerve a lot (you need to hold on to something while in the car with him, it’s a must) and just - parking in general is kind of a struggle (thanks Wally and Jesse), Jade has major road rage and this tendency to hit poles, so does Thea (where do you think Jade gets it from?), and Robbie and Tess haven’t gotten their licenses yet but they’ve already had four driving instructors quit and five classes kick them out

actually feels kinda’ inadequate compared to her siblings and has gotten really well at hiding it because if they ever knew she’d just feel even worse because they’d think that it’s their fault even though it’s not

she just always has this gnawing feeling in the back of her mind that she’s not living up to her parents’ expectations the way that her siblings are

and then she feels bad cuz’ parents are cool and even with five kids they’ve never, ever shown any sort of favouritism towards any of them

it’s just like, she sees Zander having his life together like a functional adult and being this amazing wise big brother, and Jade’s a genius like she easily the smartest person that Frankie knows and their family (including the never-ending extended family) is filled with intelligent people; then Robbie’s like this super friendly, charismatic class president/captain of the baseball team who is good at honestly everything that he tries his hand at, and Tess is just so responsible despite being the youngest and manages to keep them from falling apart and will probably end up with either her own multi billion dollar company or just the best president of the US that Earth 2 has ever seen

she’s super proud of all her siblings, but somewhere deep down she’s always like “what have I even managed to accomplish in life?”

fiercely protective over her family

if she sees her five year-old brother get sand kicked in his mouth, she will hang the punk did who dared to do so upside down by his legs (she does not give a fuck if he accidentally stepped on your sandcastle, Billy, that’s no excuse to treat her baby brother like that)

if she sees some little brat grab her sister by the hair cuz’ she told the teacher that she and her friends were cheating, she will not hesitate to smack a bitch (tattling is not an excuse for you to get physical with her little sister, ‘mkay?)

it was sooooo worth getting sent to the principal’s office both times, and probably many other times cuz’ people are the worst

Jade Van Queen (Lana Condor)

born May 23rd, 2021 (Gemini); 19; middle child

like her older brother, she now uses her last name, before Speedy^3 adopted her, as her middle name; goes by Owl on the field

highly skilled acrobat, after years and years of lessons from Thea, Sara and even Nyssa (don’t tell her parents, specifically her mother)

owns like five katanas and keeps leaving them around the house; also keeps making new katanas and experimenting with different materials

she actually doesn’t go out on the field and prefers to stay back with Frankie (who actually doesn’t really go out on the field either) and help from behind the scenes

unless they’re actually needed or there’s an annual crossover happening

also, Jade and Frankie make a really good team in general, hence why they’re usually sent on all the covert stealth missions, which leads to their parents and grandpa Harry taking over (Zander, Robbie and Tess hate every single fucking second of it)

has a bit of a knack for both welding and engineering (under the tutelage of proud poppa Wally and super psyched Uncle Cisco)

she actually managed to create her own version of the cold gun (upon Frankie's insistence), helped design her siblings’ suits, creates explosives for funsies, custom made Frankie's favourite knife along with a few others (gives anyone - Sara - who gifts her a knife the stink eye), built Robbie's bow from scratch, and the list goes on

is well on her way to sending Harry to an early grave with the shit she says/does

Jade: “I should be an actress. Like Angelina Jolie level famous, constantly photographed, but it's actually me in a wig under a stage name.” Harry: “Please don't. You can't draw that kind of attention to yourself and you absolutely can not live a double.” Jade: “It worked for Hannah Montana-” Harry: “She's not a real person.” Jade: “-and Bruce Wayne” Oliver, 15 galaxies away: “Batman's just a myth.”

Cisco ADORES her

her and Frankie have the closest relationship out of all their siblings

she's always wanted to be just like her big sister because she thought that Frankie was the coolest person to ever exist

continues to look up to her even though she's the biggest dork ever

Frankie thinks it's the cutest thing on the planet

she and Frankie still share a room to this day

she actually took ballet only because Frankie did, but while her sister quit, she continued for years, and is still continuing to dance, although she never had the urge to do it professionally much to the dismay of her many, many ballet teachers throughout the years

when they were little though, Frankie once did something totally stupid that she really shouldn't have and Jade was so upset that Frankie vowed to always strive to be someone that Jade will look up to; however, Frankie once got so in her own head about being the perfect big sister that it nearly cost Jade her life; when they're in the med bay later on, Jade says to her “I would never stop loving you just because you made a mistake dummy, and we were literal babies back then so just… be nicer to yourself.”

multilingual

Vietnamese - self-taught because no one else she knows speaks the language, and the only three things she knew about herself before meeting Speedy^3 were one, her last name, two, that pomegranates were unnecessarily complex for fruits, and three, that she’s Vietnamese

Mandarin and Cantonese - Oliver offered to teach her, mainly because when she was younger and he would start speaking in another language, her eyes would always widen and she’d seem so fascinated by it that it made his heart melt

Japanese - started with Jade pestering her dad about how he learned Japanese, when eventually he got her to let the matter go if he agreed to teach her instead

Arabic - Jade and Nyssa were sparring one day when Jade just randomly went, “teach me how to speak Arabic” and Nyssa froze for a split second which led to Jade instantly gaining the upper hand on her; after their match though, Nyssa asked her if she was actually serious about learning Arabic, and Jade’s enthusiastic smile was all the answer that she needed

Spanish - Jade, age 10, went up to her Uncle Cisco and asked him if could he teach her Spanish so that she would have a more of a chance to pile on a variety of classes in high school so she could explore her areas of interest a little more; Cisco was more than happy to oblige for the sake of his favourite niece

German and Italian - started with Jade telling Nate how cool it is that he knows like six languages and then next thing you know, Jade’s skyping him every week and Cisco’s threatening to blast Nate because he is the favourite uncle so back off Heywood

Jade: Uncle Cisco, I can have two favourite uncles. Cisco: But I’m the favourite of the two favourites… right? Jade: *blinks, then leaves the room*

French and Latin - she needed an upper liberal and her college offered both languages; Nate was a little offended that she thought CCU could provide her with a better education on languages than he could, but he’s not Cisco, so he won’t be petty about it (lies)

strives to have five majors like her momma (actually might end up with six)

unlike Jesse however, she had no intention of skipping a few grades even though she very well could; she just preferred going through school at the same pace as her friends because the idea of skipping ahead and all older kids always judging her for being the youngest kid there sounded horrifying (she took Grade 11 bio in Grade 10 because it was normal to fast track, but everyone gave her the stink eye all semester which made her think that she made the right decision not skipping a few grades)

it is actually very common however for people to hold multiple on Earth 2 and have more than one or two majors; the most is probably Harry with like, idk 7 or 8? and then Jesse has 5

she’s in her second year at CCU as of right now

she didn’t want to take any math or science esque majors because she feels as though she already has/is exposed so much knowledge on that front, she wants to challenge herself and try a variety of majors so that she have a more diverse learning experience

History & Philosophy Dual Major

this was the first major she started with

Nate declared that she was his favourite niece when he found out

Cisco blasted him

Sociology

she started sociology at the same time as her dual major since they’re in the same faculty and therefore all her required courses like Critical Thinking I and shit are basically the same

Accounting & Finance

after her first year, she started taking courses in spring and summer for this major

Professional Communication

has just now started taking a crack at this during her second year

Social Work

has yet to take a single course for this, but with the co-op program and all the different concentrations, this is the only one of her majors that’s stressing her out

she might also be doing a minor in French and Psych

she’s literally always in school, no one knows how she manages to maintain a 4.0 while helping her siblings fight crime and then building the occasional bazooka while she’s at it - SHE CAN DO IT ALL

she takes at least ten classes per semester but only because one, that’s a limit that CCU has set, and two, her parents were firm about her not burning herself out even though she insisted that she wouldn’t

proud member of team ‘let’s annoy our parents into finally letting us get a dog’ along with her older siblings

when Robbie was born they thought there would be a strength in numbers but this little golden child claimed he didn’t care

Tess was then their only hope and she asked for a cat (traitor)

has like, multiple identities in multiple countries and on multiple Earths, across the multiverse

she has created lives for herself, LIVES

every time they go anywhere, Jade gets recognized, and some random stranger will be like, “Dr. Abigail Matthews, how nice to see you, I thought you were treating patients in Germany?” and her parents are immediately just like, “you’re grounded, you’re grounded for the rest of your life, let’s go Abigail”

she can multitask like her life depends on it

no, seriously, she once somersaulted through laser beams while writing her final paper, and also reapplying her lipstick in between

Frankie couldn’t decide whether or not she should be impressed or claim Zander as her new favourite because Jade apparently has their father’s incessant need for theatrics

Robert “Robbie” Joseph Wells (Amir Mitchell-Townes)

born January 8th, 2023 (Capricorn); 17; the second youngest

named after both his biological parents’ fathers; goes by the name Red Arrow in the field which made Thea so happy

he uses a recurve bow like his mother did which Jade made for him out of iron wood

he has Wally’s speed, but he prefers using it as a last resort to one, fuck with people, and two, because he didn’t people suddenly getting bright and making a connection between him, Speedy-the-archer, and his sister, Speedy-the-speedster

random citizen: how does Red Arrow have super speed? are the rumors about Kid Flash and Speedy true? Robbie: this is an illusionnnnnn, you are having a dreammmmm

between his speed and flawless aim, Robbie never really saw the need for formal fight training; he can throw a punch, but he can’t parkour off of skyscrapers like Frankie and Jade

he also has very keen senses, and his reflexes are insane

the only one allowed to go grocery shopping because his family has no sense of anything, specifically, Frankie ‘what even is a nutrient? idk’ Queen and Tess ‘expiration dates are optional’ Wells; over 50% of the family is made up of speedsters, yet no one other than Robbie has half a mind to get something other than Big Belly Burger all day any day and everyday

Oliver, Caitlin and Alex cried when he brought home apples; they fight over who gets to give him a ride to the store

Kara once went with him and claimed that carrying groceries with him made her daily work out seem like a piece of cake, like, why does this child still continue to go to the gym?

loves to cook and is constantly experimenting with different flavours and combinations of flavours

usually they turn out well, but on the off chance they don’t, Frankie will eat literally anything that’s either carbs or sugar

he has all of Grandma Esther’s recipes and Iris and Joe both swear that Robbie chasing people out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon during Thanksgiving is like Grandma Esther come back to life

he prefers like, chicken dinners and pastas and lasagnas and such to desserts, which Frankie claims is such a waste because his matcha white chocolate chip cookies are the best thing on the planet

Frankie can reorganize their linen closet to her heart’s content for the gazillionth time, but she will never be able to fit months of Thanksgiving leftovers fit for five speedsters into their tiny fridge the way that Robbie can

he’s also great when he comes to packing

Frankie and Jade might be like martial arts prodigies or whatever, but Robbie’s the real ninja of the family - he sneaks up on everyone, and no one has any idea how he does it, and they can never tell when he’s about to strike

observant as hell, which means that he always knows what’s up with siblings and his parents and just about everyone, and can read them like an open book

which is annoying because they can never do the same with him; his poker face is on a whole other level, which is why he’s the one always chosen to go undercover cuz the rest of his siblings would probably have a meltdown and accidentally give their firstborn away

it’s actually a little scary; also, Robbie on vs off the field is like watching yin and yang; the first couple times he went out on the field, everyone was freaked out by his demeanor because he was so stoic and serious and not kind eyes and gentle smiles (which honestly is not a thing during his solo missions because he’s not the family prankster for nothing)

because of his observant nature, he also knows everything there is to know about everyone

which is a problem because he always knows when to call bullshit

has this tendency to second guess every single thing that he does; actually thinks that nothing he does is ever good enough

he’s a social butterfly, super friendly, life of the party - extremely different from Zander in that Zander is a ray of sunshine, but he prefers small groups of friends, like not more than three people please and thank you

remember when Frankie quit piano after two seconds? guess who ended up having to take her lessons?

Frankie: you’re a literal musical prodigy, if anything, I did you a favour Robbie: I dream of throwing you like a lightning bolt

sometimes he sees Jade conquering her life the way that she does and feels like crap because he needs to talk himself down from spiraling when he has too much on his plate, and he has WAY too much on his plate, like, drink a milkshake and chill

really good with kids, has been babysitting since he was twelve; he’s like the perfect balance of ‘tickle monster’ and ‘eat your veggies’

would use desserts to sneak in vegetables (it’s what he does for his siblings)

lives off coffee (literally walks away from his coach when he goes on this tangent about how ‘your body is a temple’)

functions on like three hours of sleep, like, what is sleep? 

Theresa “Tess” Morgan Wells (Talia Jackson)

born November 5th, 2024 (Scorpio); 16; youngest; Jesse was so adamant on not having kids because being a meta and a speedster at that, she didn't want to risk it, but after running into her doppelganger on Earth 22 who once had similar concerns, she changed her mind

she was named after Jesse's late mother Tess Morgan

Harry got so emotional he actually had to leave the room so no one would see him cry

goes by Speedy on the field

Cisco: You can’t be a speedster named Speedy. Thea, who only heard ‘you can’t be’: My daughter can be whatever the hell she wants. Wally & Jesse: Aw, babe, that’s so sweet... but like, think this through. Tess: Ignore them. I chose my superhero name. Thea: Awesome! What is it? Tess, using the same smile that Oliver once did when he ‘accidentally’ ran over Thea’s lego castle: Speedy. Thea: You’re grounded.

Tess has the spirit of an elderly person screaming “you kids get off my lawn” and fun fact, she once did so at age 4 and the kids on the lawn thought it was super adorable until she started throwing toy cars at them

Jesse blames Oliver

Thea blames Harry

Wally blames them all

despite being the youngest, Tess is the one to mother them all, she is the only responsible child in the family

she is actually the closest to William in that they're constantly going off about how stupid their siblings are; Tess claims she has it worse because “Dawn and Connor may run in without a plan and whatnot, but at least they've never accidentally launched a space shuttle to freaking Saturn (Frankie), or cut the Eiffel tower in half (Jade), or gotten banned from Nevada because they accidentally sent it spiraling through a black hole (Zander), or caused a war between Earth 3 and Earth 19 (Robbie)”

she’s also the biggest worrywart, and because she is allergic to emoting and basically a splitting image of her grandpa Harry, her parents and siblings and just about anyone really always feels super guilty when they do something stupid to worry her and then hear that Tess cried

you'd think that being the little angel she is, she'd like to keep her space tidy, but nooooooo; her room is a pigsty which she likes to refer to as organized chaos

Frankie calls it a toxic waste dump

Jade swears that she once sat in Tess's bean bag chair and ended up getting sucked into an alternate dimension

has this aversion to doing chores and can sense when she will be asked to do something, which leads to her promptly exiting the premises

being the control-freak that she is (like her mother, Wally, Jesse, and Oliver all say, with even Roy chiming from the great beyond or wherever), everyone assumed Tess would be an archer like her mother but she straight-up said that a bow and arrow on the field is impractical

Thea grounded her for a month

Oliver wrote her out of his will

having two speedster parents led her to have the strongest connection out of everyone to the speed force to the point where the idea of losing her powers isn't as daunting as losing her connection to the speed force

a cat person, hence why Zippy the ninja with a penchant for hiding out in people’s closets exists

Zander, Frankie and Jade refuse to believe that this kid just went up to their parents at age seven and asked for a cat, and then got one

despite the huge age difference between her and Zander, and being closest to Robbie in that they share literally everything, she actually has this tendency to cling to him whenever she’s scared or confused

she’ll always pick him for advice over anyone else

Zander actually used to sing Cheer Up by A Great Big World to her when she was younger

even when she got a little older, she used to poke him awake and he’d always go back to her room and stay with her until she fell asleep

Tess was by far the most affected by his moving out, sometimes she’d just got into his mostly empty bedroom and sit there and stare at every item missing from his room (no one else in the family ever made any move to disturb her)

Zander started calling every night to check up on her

she’d pretend to be annoyed, but he knew she was smiling the whole time

oreos are her weakness

enjoys photography

married to her computer, aka, the love of her life (her words)

A few things that I want to point out…

Speedy^Cubed got married on Earth 2 and decided to permanently move there mainly because Earth 1 already had so many superheroes and Wally and Thea ended getting more attached to it than even Jesse is.

They weren’t sure if their kids would want to operate from Earth 2 because like their father, all of them were out on the field during massive team-ups, and they were worried that their kids would love the idea of working with everyone else so much that they’d want to move (which all three of them of support, but later on tear up about). To their surprise, every single of their kids preferred to operate as part of Team Speedy^Cubed on Earth 2, mainly because Earths 1 and 38 have like four teams between them and Earth 2 has like, two heroes outside of their parents, both of whom are retired. It might also be because they love their parents, but no one other than Zander would ever admit it.

All three of them made a collective decision to keep their own last names though, that’s one thing that they were very adamant on, which their kids are constantly complaining about as they made that decision when they were at a point in their lives where having kids was the furthest thing on their mind.

This obviously means that their kids all have different last names, but they secretly think that it’s actually kind of helpful because on whatever Earth they may be on, each of their parents’ last names comes in real handy! Like, “oh, a Queen?! can’t piss you off in any way, shape or form!” // “detective/captain/lieutenant/sergeant West’s grandchild? by all means, have the key to the city!” // “professor Wells’s grandchild? well damn, now I have to give you clearance to enter this highly secure facility that not even the president knows about!”

KJ Apa, Olivia Holt and Lana Condor are all 21, which boggles my mind because if you’d told me that Olivia was 21, I would believe no questions asked, but KJ and Lana?! KJ looks at least 25, and with Lana I MIGHT believe you if said she was 19, so it all works out in the end.

I wasn’t sure what codenames to give Frankie and Jade. I nearly had them be Artemis and Cheshire before I changed Frankie’s choice of weapons and decided that the team is better off with one archer. Then, as I was thinking of a cool name, it kind of dawned on me that a common theme among assassins and special ops and such are to have bird names as their codenames, so I chose literal birds of prey as their superhero names because I just thought it would be cool to include the Birds of Prey somehow. This also means that I saw a lot of pictures of birds and had nightmares for the three consecutive nights.

Personally, I think Jesse seems like the type of person who has zero self-control when it comes to impulsively spending her money. She’s like that one person who has to get something from Cinnabon every time she walks by it, and she doesn’t even really like Cinnabon to begin with. Wally is big on saving and Thea’s just a lot more tactful when it comes to her spending habits because unlike her lovely wife, she’d probably get something on sale or use like 100 different coupons (she owned a nightclub, businesses are already so expensive to run, but alcohol being sold at the price that it is makes it 400x worse, she knows what her money’s worth).

Tess Morgan was actually Earth 1 Harrison Wells’ wife, so since we never learned Jesse’s mom’s name, I made the executive decision to declare that it’s Tess Morgan.