#who the hell was in charge of the dragon designs holy hell

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Who the hell designed the dragons in House if the Dragon

What the fuck are those wings

[snowyh2o]

Thoughts on the final battle on Hazbin Hotel, spoilers below!

So I’ve seen a few people wondering A) why was Alastor the one who was in charge of taking care of Adam, and B) why didn’t he go full kaiju during his fight?

For the first question, if you’re like me and you were aware of the power levels between the denizens of Hell, then picking Alastor for the guy to fight against Adam who is probably stronger than everyone else in Hell aside from Charlie and Lucifer, will appear to be a weird choice or bad matchup. Obviously the dude’s powerful, strong enough that he alone took down dozens of angels in the few minutes he had his shield up. Strong enough that his shield lasted against the assault of those angels, and only went down when Adam himself stepped in.

But Adam is a being that should theoretically be on the same power level as Lilith, the first woman. And who’s boss is Sera, a seraphim or the literal top dog of Heaven’s hierarchy. Adam himself alludes to this, and mentions how a mortal soul could never beat him.

So why choose Alastor as the one to fight or occupy Adam? Why not Charlie who’s raw power should be on par with Adam?

Because they didn’t have any other choice. Charlie is not a fighter (she’s a lover lol). She grew up relatively sheltered and probably never had to or experience any real life at risk fights. She even has bodyguard goat dragons Razzle and Dazzle who are with her specifically to keep her safe. Yes, she has a lot of raw power, but none of the experience. There’s potential, but she doesn’t know how to use it. Charlie doesn’t really know how to fight, and it shows during the battle, where she’s primarily using a shield to fend off attacks (apologizing about it) and using fireworks as her own form of attack.

So their next best bet is Alastor, who is the second strongest in pure power of the people at the hotel, but also someone who’s actually experienced in fights.

Now, why didn’t Alastor go big kaiju demon form during his fight with Adam?

Because Alastor knows he probably can’t take too many hits from Adam, and turning into a big monster means making himself a bigger easier to hit target.

If you watch him fight during this scene, Alastor only manages to stay ahead by not getting hit. Adam is free to block everything Alastor sends his way, but Alastor spends the majority of the battle dodging all of Adam’s attacks. And Alastor taunts Adam the entire time, getting him riled up, which should in theory make Adam’s attacks easier to dodge as he gets more emotional. It’s only when he gets cocky and enters his demon form does he end up getting hit (and also when Adam throws a holy beam at him). And the moment he gets hit he’s out of the game.

I’ve also seen a lot of people say that Alastor would’ve won with an angelic weapon, but something about the actual fight makes me think that Alastor was only meant to keep Adam preoccupied, and that they weren’t expecting him to actually be able to beat Adam in a fight. Most of Alastor’s attacks are designed to annoy Adam and keep his attention on Alastor. The cheeky shadow punch, the piles of demon minions crawling over Adam’s body, the way Alastor keeps mocking and taunting Adam during the fight. If Alastor had an actual weapon that Adam knew could hurt/kill him, I don’t think the angel would’ve let the fight drag out so much. Adam does in fact instantly vaporize Sir Pentious’s ship when he sees it firing up the death beam, and comments on how that could’ve been ugly right afterwards. So he’s not above vaporizing things he finds actually threatening. A single mortal soul who thinks he can take on the first man? That’s just entertainment.

I think the original plan was to have Alastor deploy the shield and limit the number of angels they needed to fight, and if Adam got involved, have Alastor keep him occupied until the number of angels thinned out enough that Adam would be forced to call a retreat, or otherwise until they can come and back Alastor up in the fight. And I think it could’ve worked, if Alastor didn’t get cocky and let his guard down :P

[cyberdragoninfinity]

so in case anyone was curious, this illustration is largely based on several stained glass portraits of St. Michael the Archangel slaying Lucifer (in kickass dragon form,) but especially this one (a 19th century window from Calvados, France)

A.) i Love angels in stained glass especially when the colors go crazy, this isnt the first time I've invoked them with art of Aporia and the Three Nobles, but more important B.) one day I will go off more about Aporia's angel symbolism in general but for now I gotta talk about Primo's, I gotta.

His Archangel Michael parallels make my brain spin around So fast--the Nobels are definitely supposed to effectively be robotic angels, messengers of the Apocalypse and God's (Z-one's) plan to fix the future. Primo sees himself as a loyal extension of Z-one's will, an agent of vicious justice, the 'commander' of his Ghost army. He's the android gijinka of Aporia's young adult war trauma. He's uhhh technically not alive! Meanwhile, Michael the angel is the leader of God's holy army, a military commander... and in Catholicism he's also the patron saint of death and soldiers. :^) (and. cops. cringe.) (though the Three Nobles were the heads of Sector Security for a While, huh.....) (it goes so deep it doesnt stop)

And there's the sword, of course, Michael is The angel most often depicted with a sword (sometimes a 'normal' blade, sometimes on fire, sometimes it's a spear, etc etc,) it's a spiritual weapon associated with him, created by God. And oh hey Primo what's that you got there....

Haha Ok Cool Man 👍 Sick Godsword

In the Bible it's Michael who leads the charge against Lucifer and his army of fallen angels in the battle of heaven and hell, and it's very specifically mentioned Lucifer takes on the form of a dragon during this epic clash. *the dog is, in fact, taking out the Book of Revelations*

so DEEPEST APOLOGIES TO STARDUST MY FRIEND STARDUST DRAGON for making her representative of the Literal Devil in that illustration; though, from Iliaster's point of view, perhaps of course Stardust WOULD be their draconic devil stand-in, the ace monster of Yusei, the dominant roadblock to their plans, the (you could perhaps argue) counterpart of their God's image. To Primo especially he has it Aggressively out for Stardust throughout his entire psychological obsession with Yusei. He Wants to Slay That Dragon So Bad, He Wants It as a Trophy On His Wall.

Michael also gets described and depicted very knight like in religious art and discussions, he is frequently armored; Primo also has a lot of knightly vibes imo, design and narrative wise. (And of course so does Sherry...interestingly, Sherry actually ALSO has a lot of parallels with St. Michael, including the fact she takes part in the fight against Primo's duel bot army (y'know...the Diablo :^) and a lot of her Joan of Arc invocations as a character) (that's a story for another post though) (Trey from Zexal ALSO has St. Michael parallels too imo) (but again, that's it's whole other post.) (yugioh LOVES religious symbolism like a bear loves salmon.)

it's just a very neat motif weaved throughout Primo's character!! His attitude is notoriously pretty shitty and difficult to put up with, but at his core he seems himself as a defender of sorts. God's sword. This is the path that will save the future. Tangentially, take this Alleluia verse about St. Michael:

"dreadful judgement," huh? Like... a Judgement Day? A world in peril and needing saving? Wonder who else has something to say about that and is very tunnel-vision obsessed with the notion of being the one alone to grant this safeguard...

ah :)

[3xm-draconic]

Honnor & Glory (A Werebat Cyris and Astarion Story)

Summary: It's time to kill the nether brain.

“You sure it’s a good idea to get married when the apocalypse could start any minute?” Gale turned to Wyll, “any day is a good day for a wedding when the world is about to end!” he grinned. 

Karlack and Wyll’s wedding was wonderful, it was held in the garden at the manor, Cyris being a cleric officiated the whole thing. Karlack, knowing that they would be in battle at any moment, opted for white wedding armor instead of a dress…she did have a cute flower vail made by Cyris though, it was white daisies and orange tiger-lilies.

“You may now kiss the bride” Cyris smiled, Karlach and Wyll kissed and everyone showered them in birdseed as they ran through an archway of raised swords to the other end of the garden.

“Well, Wylly-Billy to our new life!” Karlach toasted as she raised her champagne…

BOOM.

The city descended into madness and chaos, the nether brain had finally made it’s arrival (fucking took a while) and was wrecking havock. 

“Everyone ready?”, Cyris turned to his team: Wyll, Karlach and Astarion (Lucy the owlbear now all grown up, leggy and scratch), “Minsc, Jaja, Lae’zel and Halsin I want you to get survivors out of the city as fast as possible. Gale, Shads you Roger and Allegra will help guard the path for civilians. As for the rest of you…” 

He turned to Zevlor, the Ironbreaker Gnomes, the Fist, Wyll’s dad, Shadowheart’s parents and all their friends who they helped along the way…

“Together on this day we stand united, brothers and sisters of all creeds and backgrounds. We stand together to defend our home, our lands and our city. We fight and move as one…now…let's bash some brains in!” he roared.

They charged out into the city, slaying mind flayers left and right, They climbed to the top of the old fort where they would board the nether brain.

“Surrender…” it’s warbly voice commanded, “only in your dreams!” Cyris snarled back as he hurled himself at the brain, his new longswords, gifts from Yondalla, burning with holy moon-fire from Entumbru’s blessing.

They had to fight mutants and a mind controlled dragon…

“You will be part of the grand design…” the brain warbled, “you talk too much…” Cyris growld as he partially transformed.   

The brain tried to force them to submit but Cyris blocked it with the stones, tethering the brain with his own will…there was a 99% chance that could have ended badly…but Cyris thank the gods it didn’t!

There was a boom from behind him and the Emperor and Orpheus arrived just in time “the fuck took you so long Charlie?” Cyris grumbled at the Emperor, “we…had a prior engagement” the emperor looked to Orpheus with a tentacled grin, “...you two were having sex again and lost track of time weren’t you?” Cyris mumbled.

The Emperor gawked, “yes but we are here now so let’s finish this fight” Orpheus laughed. 

The brain self-deleted and came crashing down from the sky where it landed in the bay…then exploded.

Cyris fully transformed and caught Karlach and Wyll while Astarion turned into a little bat and flew next to him, they saw throughout the city people were fighting against the mind flayers together and winning!, they landed safely on the docks where everyone was waiting for them.

 “Well this is a bigger mess than ever we made in the old days, my congratulations!” Jaheira smiled, “I finally feel the last of my warlock powers are draining” Wyll sighed contently “all thanks to you”. “We did it…the brain is dead!” Shadowheart cheered, “the parasite is withered…I am free” Lae’zel turned and kissed Halsin. “I’am ready for a meal, rest and a nightcap to round it all off” Gale yawned, “ah and Boo wins the bet, Wizard is not entirely boring” Minsc grinned. “I'm glad I’m never going back to the hells” Karlach smiled as she kissed Wyll.

“I’ll celebrate once I’ve helped clean this place up a bit, I can hear and smell the wounded…I, we need to go help them…then we can party” Cyris smiled.

“Yes, once that’s done we should see if the Elfsong is still standing. I won't imbibe, but I’ll be happy to be away from here and in your company” Astarion happily turned to his friends “I honestly don’t mind what we do once we-OW!” he shrieked. He then ran off into the shadows “I’am sorry, I’ve got to go now, it was fun while it lasted!” he lamented.

As Cyris dug through the rubble, helping bring the wounded to healers and medics, he saw someone…

Her long ebony hair was tied up in a bun so it would not get in the way of her work as she used her skills as a seamstress to sew up the wounds of the injured, her seafoam green eyes framed by large box spectacles never losing focus on her craft, ever diligent, fast-paced and careful in her work meany men and women's lives were saved by this kind a sweet Halfling who jumped into action. 

Astarion, who was helping as much as he could from the safety of the shadows, watched as Cyris ran up to the little halfling woman. At first they just…stared at each other, then Cyris dropped to his knees and hugged her.

They were both sobbing happy tears uncontrollably and laughing.

Then Cyris said something that warmed Astarion’s undead heart so much he swore he felt it beat again…

“Hey…mom”.

That night at the Elfsong tavern Cyris introduced his mother to everyone.

“Ma these are my friends: Gale, Wyll, Karlach, Shadowheart, Lae’zel, Roger and Allegra” he then turned to Astarion “and Ma…this man is someone special I’d like you to met”, Hanna turned to Astarion with a smile, “Ma” Cyris smiled as he held Astarion’s hand “this is Astarion…my betrothed”, Hanna when nuts.

She tackled Astarion in a hug and laughed and cried with joy “oh my big sweet boy is getting married AND TO SUCH A HANDSOME MAN!” she hugged Cyris “Oh I can’t wait to tell your father oh the whole village is going to be excited!”

Astarion wheezed, being tackled by a halfling at full speed could REALLY knock the wind out of somebody…

As they settled down for the night Astarion and Cyris talked about where they went from here...

“So what happens next?” Astarion sighed, he missed being out in the sun, “first I find you a way to walk in daylight again, then…we plan our wedding”.

Astarion perked up “you really think there is a chance for me to walk in the daylight again?”, “sugarfangs…I WILL make it happen” he smirked and hugged him tightly.

Back at the manor, officially fully refurbished and renamed from Szarr Palace to Sunstar Manor, Cyris and Astarion were about to sleep when a knock at the door came…

Cyris answered it and found Yondalla and…SEVERAL other gods with her.

“Um…hey…other mom..er..Yondalla…” Cyris awkwardly said “what are you guys…doing…here?”, Yondalla smiled “well son…er…kid…it’s time”

Cyris cocked his head confused “time for what?”, “for you to become a god silly”Sheela Peryroyl giggled, Cyris gawked “I…I AIN'T READY FOR THAT…not, not until I’ve lived a full life…I wanna be mortal frist”, Moradin stepped forth “if that’s what ye want laddy we won’t force ye” he nodded.

Yondalla sighed…then smiled “but there is one thing I want you to have from your Godly powers son” She touched his chest and his tattoos began to glow “the ability to perform a miracle…basically an UBER powerful wish spell” she said “call it an early wedding present” she smiled.

Cyris grinned.

Astarion awoke the next morning to see Cyris had opened the windows…and sunlight was pouring inside…

However…it…it did not burn him.

“Am…am I dreaming?” Astarion pondered, “nope, you aint Darlin” Cyris smiled from the doorway with a tray of breakfast in hand, “Cyris…HOW!?” Astarion gasped, “remember how I’am part god?...well darlin” Cyris leaned in and kissed Astarion “I told you I would make it happen”.

6 months later Withers invited them to a party back at the grove where everything started, they met back up with their friends and invited them all to their wedding.

And now…

Now it’s time for their wedding to get started…

[rouiettes]

raya and the ugliest fucking dragon i've ever seen holy fuck who the hell thought to give a dragon fuckiNG EYEBROWS WHY WHY—

aka the musings of a filo non-binary bisexual who feels victimized by the dragon designs of this fucking movie supposedly centred around THE LAST DRAGON???? MAYBE THEY SHOULD HAVE STAYED STONE GDI WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY WHY DO THE DRAGONS LOOK LIKE THAT

let's get one thing straight.

none of the characters in this movie. rest assured. not a single straight person was in this movie. trust me.

raya and the last dragon had all the foundations of a good movie

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO GREAT

BUT IT WASNT

AND HERE'S WHY

(in my humble opinion okay pls dont come for me)

a disney movie with sea culture at its heart and soul, i was so hyped to finally watch this movie

(not as hyped as i could have been tho bc let's be honest DISNEY DID SHIT WITH RAYA'S MARKETING)

(AND PERHAPS FOR GOOD REASON LOL I SWEAR I DONT HATE THIS MOVIE OKAY)

you had the amazing score, the amazing concepts for plot and characters, the solid solid worldbuilding???

if you just told me about how raya's setting and premise, i'd probably be "wow this movie sound like the whole package"

and then i'll actually watch the movie and have just as much trust issue as raya did :/

but i digress

A DISNEY MOVIE WITH SEA CULTURE AT ITS HEART AND SOUL

do you know how diverse sea culture is??? VERY

and one thing i was very happy to see was how raya handled it

it was by no means perfect but

the subtle shows of culture in the way the characters acted, and the environment of the movie was just CHEF'S KISS

not only that but the ideas the movie had in terms of its world and the people in it felt genuine, it felt alive

a dragon that isn't the typical fire-breathing lizard

characters who look like they could easily be my neighbours or children i've played with

instead of pandering to this movie felt like an actual homage to sea cultures

and for good reason bc seeing all those familiar names rolling in the credits had me feeling some type of way :")

also that fucking soundtrack gave me chills throughout my watch of the movie

okay now that we've got the things i actually like about the movie, let's talk about what i don't like

if there's one word i could use to describe disney's raya it would be: rushed

like i said in the beginning, all the groundwork for an astounding disney movie were already there

but all of it just goes to waste bc the plot and it's characters feel so Unfinished

the movie felt like a bullet-point presentation of the story

WHICH IS SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTING BC THE CHARACTERS SEEMED SO INTERESTING but all we got were shadows of what they could have been

cardboard cutouts of the archetypes they filled

i'm not asking for a bottomless well of depth, but i at least wanted more for the cast than just: angry misunderstood princess, angry misunderstood princess with an undercut, that one dancing kid from moana but with more spice, boss baby, and the mountain

and i get that they had to sacrifice some of their depth to keep the run time of the movie short but you have got to be better than this disney

i hate to compare but it felt like this movie tried to go beyond what moana gave us, and shot so far that it ended up back to where it started, and then stumbled back a few steps

AND IM NOT EVEN SAYING A DRAGON MOVIE WITH A BIG CAST IS IMPOSSIBLE

BC IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON DID IT THREE TIMES

and you'd think the plot for one of the few disney movies with a non-western setting would have more than just a macguffin considering how batshit sea folk tales can be

but you'd think wrong folks.

GENUINELY IT FELT LIKE THEY WERE ATTEMPTING SOMETHING BUT WERE SHORT OF BRINGING IT TO FRUITION

sure moana had a macguffin too with the heart of te fiti, but the heart itself wasn't the heart of the movie

it was the journey of moana and maui

it was that BEAUTIFUL TWIST WITH TE KA AND TE FITI

ALL DELIVERED WITH A NATURAL FINESSE THAT HAD YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT

YOU WERE ALONG FOR THE RIDE OF THE STORY INSTEAD OF QUESTIONING EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON LIKE I WAS

maybe this was just me but like, i felt so bad for the friend who watched this movie with me bc all i could go on and on was how the plot felt like it was getting in the way of itself

why didn't the different kingdoms (??) kept the gem in rotation or smth, when did they decide that heart would keep it and then get mad at heart for keeping it????

why didn't awkwafina dragon just show herself to the kingdoms bc everyone seems to be in agreement that dragons good right? that they would be the key to getting rid of the druun right??? SO THEY'D ALL AT LEAST HEAR HER OUT OR SMTH RIGHT????????

and yes raya has trust issues but it seems to only spring up at the most convenient times plot-wise, we didn't really see her learn to trust other people again OTHER THAN THE TIMES WHERE SISU WOULD HAMFISTEDLY SHOVE IT DOWN OUR THROATS THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE GOOD SOMETIMES RAYA

we see it with boun, but then she just trusts noi, her monkeys, and tong THE GUY WHO STRUNG THEM UP AND WAS THREATENING TO TORTURE THEM????????

i'm gonna be honest and say that if it weren't for namaari i'd have absconded the moment sisu came on screen

as far as i'm considered the actual plot of the movie is just the entire sword fight scene between her and raya

and finally

we get to the part i will be erasing from my brain for my own mental well-being

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DRAGON DESIGN

WHY OH WHY TH  E FUCK DOES SISU SOUND AND LOOK LIKE THAT

my friend said they looked like the ponies from mlp in 3d AND NOW I CAN NEVER UNSEE IT

THEY HAVE EYEBROWS THEY HAVE HUMAN FACES

HUMAN FACES ON MAJESTIC DRAGON BODIES

THE INTERNET HAS COLLECTIVELY DECIDED THAT SISU IS BASICALLY FURRY ELSA

every time we got a sisu close up i lost 5 years to my life

disney i am suing for damages

if you want me to drop the charges i demand raya 2: electric boogaloo but it’s just raya and namaari enemies to friends to lovers ark

and also for them to never say dragon nerds ever again

AGAIN. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON GAVE US BEAUTIFUL DRAGON DESIGNS. HELL IF YOU WANTED MORE EASTERN LOOKING DRAGONS FUCKING SPIRITED AWAY??? HAKU??????????

AND YKNOW WHAT. SISU WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK THAT HORRIFIC IF THE MOVIE WAS IN 2D

im not the first person to be side-eying disney's decision to keep pumping out these 3d movies but like.

no amount of added dimensions could ever make that dragon design okay

and there so many more points i could go off on to show how this movie was rushed

how the other dragons, and even sisu's siblings whom she had been missing for the entire movie DIDNT MAKE A SINGLE SOUND???? NOT EVEN A FUCKING GROWL DISNEY???? DID YOU EVEN TRY WITH THE DRAGONS AT ALL??? THE SUPPOSED CENTRE OF THIS MOVIE'S PLOT?????????

HOW THE CHIEFS OF THE OTHER KINGDOMS WERE BASICALLY PLOT DEVICES????

THAT ONE CHIEF'S SKELETON WAS MORE INTERESTING THAN ANY OF THEM COMBINED ALIVE

kudos to that one granny chief though

u can never have enough bad ass old ladies

AND GOD THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS JUST FELT SO FORCED

ALONG WITH WHATEVER LESSON SISU WANTED TO IMPART ABOUT TRUST

LOVE THESE CHARACTERS THEY ARE FUNNY THEY ARE FRIENDS FOUND FAMILY

TRUST PEOPLE IF U WANT THEM TO TRUST U

TRUST PEOPLE OR ILL LITERALLY FUCKING KILL U

children aren't stupid disney. if you tell your story well enough, they'll pick up on the messages you want to give them. YOU DONT HAVE TO THRUST EVERYTHING IN OUR FACES

i was exhausted by the time i finished this movie

bc i really wanted to love it. i wanted to feel more for it than just: well, it's a movie :)

i dont hate this movie though like it's not even worth the energy for that

i think that ultimately, despite all my issues with it, this movie was a step in the right direction when it comes to having non-western stories being told by non-western people in big name productions

i'm glad raya and the last dragon exists

i just can't help but be dissapointed though bc this movie put so much effort into putting my people and culture at its forefront but at what cost???

good characters and story for a good setting and design????

does it have to be one or the other?????

DOES THE DRAGON HAVE TO HAVE EYEBROWS??????

[fantasyinvader]

Beat Binding Blade tonight

So, right off the bat I'm going to admit. I abused the arena and save states. This is a really, really hard game. And while I enjoyed it, I'm going to give three things I didn't like about it.

1)Enemy reinforcements arrive at the end of the player phase, and can attack during the enemy phase. That is unfair, especially when I assume that parking a unit on the spawn point will prevent them (It doesn't) or my healer just happens to be in the area. I like difficult games, but when I fail at something in those I want to feel like it's my fault for doing so. When I die in Bloodborne or lose a unit in Fates Conquest, I'm willing to accept it because I felt it was fair (plus I'll just restart the chapter in Conquest anyway). I could have not died if I had played a little better. This game was not fair when it did that.

2)The supports. A lot of the stuff about the characters is locked away in their supports, since this is one of the old Fire Emblems where it throws units your way because it's assuming you didn't reset the game when one died. They don't get cutscenes to be important, and with only five supports per character (barring if one dies, then any unit that had supports with gets those supports back). And even then, getting an A rank doesn't pair up any units except for Roy. So you don't get to play love doctor here, it's only really there for the stat boosts. But in the case of my boy, he needs those supports in order for his character to fully come through.

3)I can take 8 units into the final battle, and they're the only ones who get full ending cards. Everyone else just gets a single line. Kinda weak if I use someone like Fir for most of the game, but bench her at the end to give Rutget Durandal.

Even with my cheating, I still enjoyed this game. Mostly for the story. When Fire Emblem first appeared in Smash Brothers Melee, as a kid it instantly caught my attention. Roy and Marth just looked so cool with their swords and armor (true fact: My favorite design for Link is the Skyward Sword design, simply because it has chainmail under the tunic. I get it, the tunic is iconic but SS's Link just looks practical), and I preferred Roy because I though his fully-charged shield breaker hurting him was cool. I even keep a Cipher card of his in my wallet for good luck. I wanted to know what Fire Emblem was, what kind of game it was. My friend showed me a screenshot of the upcoming GBA game in Nintendo power, which I got for the following Christmas (sadly, I didn't get Sacred Stones as I got a PS2 the following year). I loved that game, but the idea that I was playing as Roy's father always was a bit of a sour point for me. It's because of that game when I got a 2DS a decade later, because I wanted to game but kept getting pulled away from my console, I eventually went back to Fire Emblem.

And, I'm going to admit, Binding Blade hurt me because I played Blazing Blade first. It really did. I mean, Hector dies early on, Lyn is presumably dead hell a lot of my old comrades probably died in this war, Eliwood's wife dies shortly after they are married while Eliwood is more useless than ever, the kid I saved in Bern becomes a genocidal maniac, and the fact that the characters of Blazing Blade kinda caused this to happen by releasing the seals on the Legendary Weapons in their own quest... It kinda bugs me that the Legendary Weapons I used in Blazing Blade are in their trap filled storage places. Like, who returned them there? And if I have characters from that game returning in Binding, I find it strange they don't comment on needing them again. But this is a case of the game trying to be a prequel to a story that wasn't written with it in mind.

But at the end of the day, one thing just kept popping up in my mind. Binding Blade is the antithesis of the Crimson Flower route from Three Houses. I know they said Genealogy of the Holy War was an inspiration, but I can't help it. I've seen so many people try to praise that said route as some sort of denouncement of the rest of the franchise. That it's about putting power in the hands of the people (it's not) instead of having some Lord be the good king. Granted, the Mandate of Heaven seems like it's a running theme of the series, so without understanding what that is I can understand why people don't grasp what that part of the message. But Binding Blade, it just hit so many things on the nose that I needed to say something.

So without further adieu, I'm just going to bring up a few points.

With Regards to Humanity

It's interesting how both Zephiel and Edelgard come at this from different angles. Sure, they both lead wars of conquest across the entire continent, and I'm guessing Zeph didn't tell his troops what he was planning on doing once he won so there's likely a level of deception going on there as well. He really doesn't care for his fellow man, and the game goes out of it's way to show us why. Hatred, greed, or even selling out your people in the name of self-preservation. The game doesn't shy away from showing us any of this, saying that it's wrong and thus why Roy has to kick some guy's arse. Zephiel knows this, but in Edelgard's case? She's out there fighting for absolute power, destroying anyone who won't bend the knee to her while those who do out of self-preservation like House Gloucester are rewarded for it.

In essence, Edelgard is everything Zephiel saw wrong with the human race, she is why he felt we needed to go extinct. The very things he condemns humanity for are the things she reward. Zephiel would have actually handed over power to those he felt deserved it if he had won, whereas Edelgard is demonstrably shown to hold onto power until near the end of her life. One wants humanity dead, the other wants all the dragons. They even oppose each other in their classes. Edelgard is based on the red emperor archetype, she wears red, her class is the heavily-armored Emperor and her weapon of choice is an axe. Zephiel is a king, armoed but wearing purple and he uses a sword in battle.

Even if they both have screwed up history with their family's due to their father's inability to keep it in his pants, they're both presented as villains despite being ideologically opposed which goes to show with Fire Emblem the method IS the message.

Ancient Wars, Super Powered Weapons and Lies.

War of Heroes vs. The Scouring. The former is an event where the full details are shrouded in mystery, up to the player to piece together the clues and figure out the truth for themselves...or in Crimson Flower's case, ignore the truth and act out in your ignorance.With Binding Blade though, when the truth starts coming out, it hits hard. I mean, right from the beginning of the game we're told man was the one who broke the peace by attacking the dragons, but then we learn that those legendary weapons messed up the environment, resulting in dragons needing to use human forms only to be slaughtered by man. Dragons were blamed for the environment, the people who used those weapons were revered as heroes. We don't know why mankind launched their attack, but we do know that they weren't able to slay the Demon Dragon, one who had her soul destroyed in order to control her, because the Heroes felt sorry for her. It's making dragons out to be the victims here, much like the dragons in Three Houses. But Crimson Flower only serves to demonize them, acting like they can't understand humanity when the dragons in that game are a lot closer to humans emotionally than the ancient dragons in Elibe.

The Elites in comparison weren't heroes, and that lie has been confirmed as Rhea trying to make peace.

The good ending for Binding Blade is being able to save the dragon whose soul was destroyed, whereas Crimson Flower ends with slaying a dragon after you've spent the entire game triggering her (and is the ending that leads to oppressive rule under Edelgard, in addition to the only ending without sunlight. What? You thought you'd get the good ending when her final boss theme was playing on the last stage?). Also, you need all the Legendary weapons in order to unlock the final stages, which all play into the big mystery. Crimson Flower requires the player to not understand that the world-building was done to support fighting against Edelgard instead.

Merits of a leader

Let's not beat around the bush here, Roy will not carry you through Binding Blade. His bases are low, and while he has good growths he is unable to promote until the very end of the game. Even then, you need to save the Binding Blade's usage to ensure you get the good ending. Roy is also very unsure of himself, thrust into a position of leadership despite his young age. But look at what happens when he succeeds, he manages to overcome the odds and take down the mightiest army on the continent. At the end of the game, he's shown himself as more than capable of leading. Not to mention, he also believes that humans and dragons can live together, even seeing this in Acadia (and if Ninian was his mother, he's unknowingly proof of this as he is 1/4 dragon himself. May explain his poor bases). If he marries Liliana, he even becomes a King for likely much of the same reason Byleth does in SS/VW (most leaders are dead following the war, plus combining his territory with Ostia which had already taken over Lyn's land after she abdicated/married Hector). Roy learns the truth as already established.

Compare this to Crimson Flower Byleth. Byleth leads the Black Eagle Strike Force, but credit for it goes to Edelgard. Byleth never gets any recognition for this, no position of authority despite proving themselves, instead that goes to Caspar Jenkins of all people, and ends the war continuing to fight TWSITD from the shadows to support Edelgard's regime. And if you read between the lines, Edelgard is NOT a good leader, resorting to bribes, threats, cronyism, secret police, propaganda, and even TWSITD's support and later stolen tech in order to maintain her rule. Byleth lost whatever emotional development they got from White Clouds during this route, once again becoming the Ashen Demon, and is even willing to let themselves die if they can't keep their “humanity” in check showing a distaste for their own draconic heritage (showing humans and dragons can't live together in this timeline). They didn't grow into being a leader, they devolved into being Edelgard's unthinking muscle. Byleth never learns the truth in this route, falling for Edelgard's manipulations resulting in them losing Enlightened One/Nirvana status.

Not to mention, Heroes Relics have really low weapon levels. In theory, they can be used by anyone but only safely by those with Crests and most fully with a matching Crest. Legendary Weapons, on the other hand, can be used by anyone with an S rank in their type. Your characters have to EARN the right to use those things and you'll need them to deal with all the Manaketes during the final level, whereas Relics aren't exactly that level of broken.

Honestly, seeing the ending of Binding Blade and Idunn recovering put at least one tear in my eye. Crimson Flower's just made me feel like the game was calling me an idiot (which considering the Nirvana/Enlightenment thing, it kinda was). I would love if Binding Blade got the Echoes treatment, or even if they just did a GBA collection for the Switch. But after all these years, one thing is as certain now as it was when I was a kid.

In this house, ROY'S OUR BOY!

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 3: Apdnarg is Really Hard to Spell

 Yo guys, people are getting vaccinated, the sun is parting through the clouds, and I felt so nice that I even stopped listening to quite so many throwback 00′s BTS mashups (and yet I keep clicking on these dissonant catastrophes thinking “this time it’s got to be better. This time they’ll figure it out.” and like, no. Turns out you can’t match Brittany’s Toxic with BTS’ Black Swan. You can’t do that.)

This must be a sign that things are getting better. If anything, it means my personal tastes are improving. I mean I only clicked on like 3 “Dark Academia” Playlists where I could pretend I’m some sort of spooky witch in an abandoned library with a bad music player and basic taste in classical music (like can we ban Satie from Youtube for a little while?). Hell, I might even do a prompt update to this blog!

Yeah, you heard me, I’m actually going to stay ahead of the update schedule for Yugioh Abridged (maybe. I haven’t actually watched cuz of spoilers, I just noticed the thumbnail pop up on Youtube and was like “Damn it, they came out of hiatus??? I got hurry UP.”)

Anyway, speaking of the sky parting.

I’ll have you know my bro said this is actually more like a circumcision and it was one of the worst thing I have ever heard.

We get a chance to take in this lineup of confusing and varied character designs, and Joey. who is...still Joey.

The animators probably had to hold a strike in order for them to put Yugi in the audience, lets be real. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE in this shot and one is wearing a turban where you draw every single wrap. I hope those artists charged by the line.

Tea has a subplot where she’s just very frustrated with everyone she knows. They have been traveling together for like many weeks and got trapped in a foreign country so I get it. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to picture Tea with female friends.

Because right now you got this 12 year old child, the other duelist who does not care about anything besides cards, and Kaiba’s 3 dragon cards that we’ve all collectively decided are female.

Hell it’s almost like the writers are asking themselves why Tea is here. Maybe they forgot. There’s no more ghosts to bus, no more people to knock out with her ass with random Olympic feats. Tea’s just sidelining.

(read more under the cut)

Mokuba is a itty bit bit taller this season, and so I guess that means he can legally climb on top of the cherry picker in order to give a riveting speech.

Really says a lot about Mokuba that he is so unphased about talking to, I dunno...an entire planet of people. Kind of a shame we never see this courage from Mokuba used for anything other than talking really, really big and giving everyone around him a really hard time.

Mokuba takes a moment to dunk on Yugi Muto, as is Kaiba tradition.

And then introduce the first pair of duelists, which obviously must be between the few people in this tournament that we actually know and care about.

Thankfully, in between last episode and this episode, Yugi has figured out who his own Grandpa is. This is a relief, because Yugi is such a mess, that I was fully convinced it would take over half a season for him to recognize it. I mean how long did it take him to figure out he shares a body with a ghost? Like half a season?

Instead Yugi recovered gracefully from not recognizing his grandpa, but it’s not like he bothered to tell anyone else, so the rest of our cast is just gonna be like “Is he my hairdresser? The guy who delivers my mail? Who is this guy who made absolutely no significant changes to his outfit or voice?”

Like sometimes this show goes full Spongebob silly kid’s show and you never know when to take it seriously or not. They might be sacrificing the entire cast next episode. I really don’t know. But for now their big concern is who is grandpa??? Like an innocent card version of “Are you my Mother?”

Faced with public speaking, Yugi decides to have a melt down.

We have seen him face monsters, we’ve seen him on TV dozens of times, he’s been in multiple competitions...but give a speech? Of course he can’t do that. The kid doesn’t attend enough school to know how to do that. Them’s learning skills.

And that was when a newly assembled wife-jet spliced through the sky like a souped up razer scooter and deposited 1 fully equipped Seto Kaiba in a Buzz Lightyear jetsuit.

THE RECOVERY.

Seto always watching over his Brother, ready to save this awkward party if it kills him (and it really should, that suit is held together by two seat-belts), making sure to get on that platform before Yugi starts going off about how he’s half an Ancient Egyptian. (Ah, life before social media. You could just be hella famous and also half a dead dude and people would just not know. I kinda miss the time before I knew literally everything about everyone.)

Please admire how close those flames are to setting Mokuba’s heavily hairsprayed mane completely alight. It would be an unforgettable spectacle.

These were absolutely just random ass jet packs that Gozaburo Kaiba made to kill hell tons of people, right? Like Seto found it in the family cabin, clutched to the heart of some crispy fried corpse and was like “neat! Mokuba! I found a cool toy!” and just plucked that thing out of that skeleton’s clutches and has been flying around for months?

Like this is Seto Kaiba’s Butter Glider, right?

Seriously what type of vehicle license do you need for one of these things? RIP My ‘Seto only has a scooter license’ headcanon.

Which I’m only even thinking about because I’ve had to try and make an appt with the DMV for days to get a freakin REAL ID. I went to sleep in 2019 and I could fly on a plane. I woke up in 2021 and it’s like “Want one last screw you?” and just...can 2020 please stop screwing me over? It’s March.

Anyway, the Jet is removed soon after, so no, this is not part of his new outfit. He goes right back to his Post-S4-Trauma-Normcore.

After wrestling this competition out of his brother’s hands and confusing everyone in the audience, Roland must have gotten the memo to cut the microphone before Seto got too excited and we were quickly ushered on to the next stage of the tournament.

One sec...the BTS Mashup playlist I just clicked on did a Black Swan X 7 rings mashup and it’s the worst thing my ears have ever heard.

Holy crap. I had to actually turn down my volume. Like...Ariana Grande already has music that has way too many overlapping singing parts on it--and then lets just stick a 52-person boy band on top? That’ll fix it. Yeah. Go ahead.

Wow. Even I had to change the song and you know how much I enjoy pop culture mistakes.

Spot the Mickey but like a million times easier because it’s a Massive Dick Shaped Dragon.

Yep. That’s my grocery shopping outfit. Except maybe not a lab coat and a duel disk. Wish I had a duel disk, that would make social distancing just a hell ton earlier. Just a “Yo, only one person in checkout, please” and then bap them on the head with a propelled discuss/hologram.

Anyway, Grocery shopping/Doctor man dueled the Purple Hair Boy, and considering that Purple Hair got screen time and shook Yugi’s hand once--I think that Doctor man doesn’t stand a freakin chance.

Good. I hate him.

Also, every time he breathes he’s gonna fog up his glasses. I have experience in this area. He can’t read his own cards in the same way I can’t read my phone if I’m in the refrigerated aisle.

So the way this tournament works, is everyone has to sit in the stadium to watch the show. Kinda like showing up to a football stadium just to watch a recorded TV monitor...but then again...that is how it feels to watch a football game at a football stadium when it’s live (at least with the tickets I usually get.)

And as we watch Grandpa waiting for his competitor, we find out that his competitor (Joey) is too busy eating snacks to give him the time of day.

Why do cartoon hot dogs always have lettuce? Is that seriously supposed to be relish? Or is there a place in the world where you put lettuce on your hot dog?

Sorry, bro has just informed of his favorite hot dog order, which is absolutely terrible so I will share it with you: a Five Guys hot dog with ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, onions, mushrooms, pickled peppers, and you guessed it--topped with freakin lettuce.

My own kin. How am I over 30 and just finding out that my baby brother thinks it’s normal to walk into a restaurant with normal god-fearing law-abiding people and order lettuce and mushrooms on a hot dog?

I have fully failed him.

The rest of this episode is watching both Joey Wheeler and Mokuba have a shared panic attack while Seto does freakin nothing.

Please remember that Seto has both a jetpack and a dragon wife plane and could have easily solved this problem. But nah.

Then again, Seto Kaiba has given this crew so MANY rides, that maybe he’s tired of being the Soccer Mom for the team?

Like they don’t actually say this episode, but Seto was the one in charge of like...this entire place, do you think he made the 2 for 1 special just to get Joey where it hurts the most? Or does it actually not take any subterfuge to screw Joey Wheeler because he’s just naturally this way?

Like Mokuba wasn’t there when Joey was told “stay right here, and then we will all go together to fight Dartz” and Joey was like “I’mma save Mai from herself although she told me not to!” and then he Hella Died. But, Mokuba did see the result, AKA, Joey’s dead body being carried on the back of Tristan. Maybe Mokuba never realized that Joey died because he went out of his way to be late?

Lets do a tally of every time I can recall with my dodgy memory that Joey was threatened to be DQ’d/pretty much was DQ’d either by his own fault or no fault of his own

-When he wasn’t allowed to go on the boat to Murder Island because he was a stupid nobody kid who did not have a dueling glove

-When he wasn’t actually supposed to be in Pegasus’ tourney and was, in fact, secretly using half of Yugi’s entrance ticket the entire time

-when Bandit Keith stole the ticket that Joey got from Yugi so then Joey had to borrow Mai’s ticket although she had just used it so it really shouldn't have counted. Because, really anyone could have just piggy backed off of each other’s ticket until the whole boat went through that castle.

-When his account was hacked to get entered into Kaiba’s tourney when Kaiba very clearly told him he could not apply solely because he was Joey Wheeler.

-When he was late to his sister’s eye surgery because he got mugged by Marik’s Rare Hunters, so she almost refused to do the surgery.

-When Joey got possessed by Marik, and as Marik, threatened to murder everyone else in the tournament including both of the Kaiba brother’s who’s tournament it was, and then chained himself to Yugi Muto to throw both of them to the bottom of the ocean.

-I think there was a point when he threatened to attack Kaiba in Kaiba’s own tourney while not possessed? Like several times?

-when he got struck by Lightning and almost did not stand up fast enough after being struck by lightning, which is apparently a type of DQ in Duel Monsters.

-When he tried to save Mai from getting hit by a fireball, but then Yugi did it instead, and then so many people were standing on the dueling platform that Kaiba couldn’t possibly DQ them all.

-When he entered the restricted area of the blimp in order to hassle Kaiba into landing the Blimp, which Kaiba did not do.

-When Marik killed Joey before Joey could press the “go” button on his duel disk to play the card that should have won Joey the match.

-When he was dueling a lawyer in a digital universe but then the dice was like...weighted? So Noah had to walk over and be like “The hell is this weighted dice? This is my perfect digital world? How did you even do that?” and then Joey won because the match was no longer legit.

-When Joey yelled at Noah too much and so Noah turned Joey to stone for being a rude ass spectator

-When Mai was like “Wheeler and Valon, listen closely: do NOT murder each other” and then Joey did a murder on Valon so she was like “I guess I have no choice, I was very clear” and killed Joey straight up.

-When Joey decided to block Seto’s fireballs while Joey Wheeler WAS a playing card, somehow disrespecting both Dartz and Seto Kaiba at the same time.

-When Joey was playing cards but then got absorbed into a giant Leviathan and basically couldn’t play anymore after that.

-There’s probably hell ton of S0 stuff I just haven’t seen yet.

-This episode

And Joey runs fast for a montage of wacky things that really have no business being in a theme park. Things like this:

(remember when Bakura almost died from a rock that ended up being a balloon? It comes full circle.)

The stuff that the Kaiba brother’s think is normal and fun.

Anyway Joey fights off a bunch of hologram snakes and bats and everyone is like “Should we tell him it’s just holograms???” And it’s like wow, guys, how many times have these ‘holograms’ straight up murdered Joey Wheeler and everyone else on this cast? Too many? Because I have a google doc with so many deaths on it. 7,805,844,048, to be exact.

Anyway, he gets there with five seconds to spare and Mokuba’s like “well at least you were still entertaining while we filmed you in front of a live audience being a total spaz for 15 minutes straight, so I’ll let you go.”

Grandpa and Joey start playing, Joey completely oblivious that this is just an older Muto, while Hawkins walks up awkwardly and is like “hey guys. I’m so sorry about this.”

(welcome to my font choices, for those new here, I have to make weird font color choices to make sure it’s legible for the colorblind and also for the non-colorblind. This one is not much contrast, so I may change it up in the future, but for now, this is Grandpa Muto’s new font. I apologize to every graphic designer reading this. Please don’t tell anyone who has ever hired me for graphic design about this blog.)

What’s funny about this exchange is that after they find out that Yugi’s Grandpa is Apdnarg (HOLY my brain cannot get around the spelling for that, and I will not change it in the caps. I cannot do a ‘pdn’ ever again), they don’t stand on his side of the field or anything. Hawkins is legit Solomon Muto’s only fan during this exchange and like...damn. Way not to back your Grandpa, Yugi.

Yugi immediately strides up to Mokuba to non-confrontation-ally inform him that he has stepped over a line and Mokuba is like “what are these things you say called ‘lines?’”

According to Mokuba, Solomon Muto begged him to be in the competition so he could relive his glory days (glory days making no sense here, because the game has only been released for the past 15 years, so glory days is like...the before times that can only be referring to disgraced archeologists and Pegasus ((who is, in his own way...a disgraced archeologist, too))) and Mokuba was like

“You trained Yugi Muto, right? Hey that’s good enough for me. This drama is gold. People will eat it up. Hell yes. Don’t be afraid to abduct him a little bit. Maybe trap a couple people in a digital hellscape for a little while? Now we go by Pegasus house rules here, so fire as many lasers as you want, but just make sure not to hit anyone in the face. Oh man, we are going to be swimming in cash. Love it, Muto Sr, love it.”

But I dunno, I feel like Grandpa won’t make it past next episode. It is Joey. We kinda need him to make it past Ep 4 of the arc. If Grandpa Muto becomes the new Joey Wheeler, that will be a weird transition for this show to make.

But that’s all for today, as always, here is the link to read these in chrono order becuase there’s SO MANY that you don’t need to read backwards--don’t do it--just use the chrono tag (and I don’t know if you can add compound tags, but I did separate the Season from the Episode, so if you write S4, it should only pop up stuff from S4. I didn't’ do that to seasons 1-3 though because I just...didn’t.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

And because I brought it up: here it is, the best BTS Mashup that I found on my deep dive. Like legit--this one isn’t a mess:

Most of other ones are horrible in a fascinating way. Like I’m not even a BTS fan, I think I sort of age out of that metric, I’m just bored and quarantined. And lets be real, we all appreciate a good bop when we hear it.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Super Green

The Green Knight s finally out and i can see it without having to wait a month and a half! I thank A24 for this rather quick turnaround because this thing has been on my radar fr what seems like forever! I’ve written about this before but A24 is my favorite studio releasing content. Neon is a close second and Netflix is making a real charge, but A24 releases classics. Some of my all-time favorite films are A24 products. Ex Machina, Hereditary, Under the Skin, The VVitch, Uncut Gems, Zola, Midsommar, Lady Bird, Eighth Grade, The Lighthouse, High Life, The Monster, Enemy, Climax, Room, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Disaster Artist, and Under the Silver Lake have all impressed in one for or another, all of them A24 offerings. This studio is f*cking amazing and i cannot sing it’s praises enough. They’ve been around for less than a decade, A24 was founded in August of 2012, and they’re brought this level of quality consistently. The Green Knight has all of the workings to slide right into my all-time list, just like Ex Machina and Hereditary did before it. Let’s see if i really love it as much as i think i will.

The Exceptional

The first thing that hits you is how f*cking gorgeous this film is. Seriously, i was immediately captivated by that opening scene with Gawain rushing for Mass. It definitely opens up as the film progresses and you are treated to one of the most visually striking films of the year. This movie could give Denis Villeneuve, Ari Aster, or Robert Eggers a run for their money. Seriously, you can frame several shots in a museum and no one would know the difference between that and the Van Gophs on display.

I r0aely mention this but it’s absolutely necessary that i do in this particular review because it was just that memorable. The sound design made this film. I’m not talking about music choice or score, but the actual sound effects for specific scenes. That sh*t was some of the tightest I've ever hear on a film and it really added to the overall experience. Just the way the Green Knight creaked and popped as he moved was more than enough to get this mention but there is so much  ore than just that. I hate that i had to see this at home because, f*ck, this thing would have sounded like god in a proper theater.

I mentioned that you can frame these shots in a museum before and a lot of that shine belongs to the cinematography. The shots chosen for this film are breathtaking. I imagine a lot of that has to do with location but even the scenes filmed in dank castles and murky bogs popped with that same, meticulous, shot composition and it really gave those scenes life. The were ties when my jaw dropped at the majesty of a scene. The one with the giants immediately comes to mind. Like, f*ck, was that beautiful to witness.

In that same breath, you have to know when to pull back. Editing is just as important to a film as anything else and The Green Knight is cut with a precision I've rarely seen. This thing has no fat whatsoever. It presents to you exactly what you need and little else. I love that. I love that this film has a story to tell and it tells it with extreme prejudice. These cuts were made with intent. That’s rare nowadays.

I also have to give a nod to the use of color and lighting. Again, it’s not something i ever really focus on but goddamn is it necessary for this review. Light plays a very important role in how this story was told. Certain scenes absolutely need it and others are perfectly accentuated by it. It takes a deft hand to juggle such a nuanced aspect of film and The Green Knight has done that the best this year. So far.

This film has a very real, very potent, atmosphere. It’s not tension, not like Uncut Gems of Good Times, but there is this unrelenting sense of dread that runs through this entire film. It’s measured and restrained but it’s always there. I appreciate that. For a film to illicit such emotion out of me is testament to the mastery of it’s visionary.

All of the praise I've given to the technical aspects of this film would be for naught if i didn’t recognize the director, David Lowery. This dude is fast climbing the list of my favorite directors. I actually listed  bunch above but, after seeing what he’s gone with this film, dude is really making a case for himself. He did the Pete’s Dragon remake which i hear as pretty good, and A Ghost Story but i haven’t seen either. Not really my cup of tea. But if they’re as good as The Green Knight, i might have to revisit that thought because, holy sh*t, this dude can direct the f*ck out of a film.

The writing is on point. I legit hesitated to put this on here because it is the weakest aspect of  everything else in this film but that is misleading. The writing is exceptional. There is no way this film could be as good as it is, if the script was dog sh*t. The material given to these performers had to the top tier in order for them to give the performances they did and and they definitely f*cking did that!

This whole cast really f*cking delivered. Sarita Choudhury as Mother and Sean Harris as the King were easily the best of the supporting cast but everyone else brought that same energy. Joel Edgerton, Kate Dickie, and  Barry Keoghan, all deliver powerful performances. Hell, this is the best I've ever seen Erin Kellyman act and i have to give a lot of credit to the overall quality of this cast delivered. That said, there are three individuals who put everyone else to shame and i say that knowing exactly how much praise i just heaped upon them all.

Alicia Vikander comes in and delivers on two roles, Essel and the Lady. This isn’t surprising at all because she always delivers. I’m never disappointed by her performances. Admittedly, i haven’t seen many but that’s because she is very particular about the characters she signs on to portray. That said, it’s weird the two performances she’s done that immediately jump out to me, are both with A24 films. Her Eva in Ex Machina, and that film in general, is what made me even take notice of both her and A24 as a studio. Here we are, seven years later, and she’s still blowing my mind. F*cking exceptional.

Ralph Ineson is almost unrecognizable in the Green Knight make-up but the second he opens his mouth, you immediately recognize that gravitas. There is a weight to this character and you f*cking feel it with every move Ineson makes. Dude isn’t in it much but the scenes he does appear in are absolutely stolen by this big, green, maestro of his craft.

More than anyone, this is Dev Patel’s film. This dude is a great actor but it’s rare someone gets a part where they can really bite into the content but that is not the case with this role. No, sir, this sh*t was tailor made for Patel and he definitely digs right the f*ck in. His Sir Gawain is just as good as his Jamal Malik from Slumdog, if not better. Seriously, this film would be nothing without Patel. As outstanding as every other aspect that i gushed about in this brilliant goddamn film, the very best is Dev Patel’s performance. Seriously, that sh*t, alone, is worth the watch.

The Verdict

The Green Knight is f*cking exceptional and exceeded all of my expectations. This year long wait was more than worth. It's the best film of the year so far, leap-frogging into my top twenty all-time and I've seen thousands of films. This thing is a masterpiece on all levels. Narrative, plot, lighting, performances, sound design, composition, editing, score; It's the closest thing to a technically perfect film I've seen in quite some time. If Dev Patel doesn't get an Oscar nod for this, there is no justice in the world because he f*cking carries this movie. Patel is easily the strongest force driving this incredibly compelling watch, but Alicia Vikander, Erin Kellyman, Sarita Choudhury, Ralph Ineson, Sean Harris, Kate Dickie, and Barry Keoghan all match that energy with f*cking gusto. I was absolutely mesmerized by the way these absolute masters in their craft, embodied and gave their respective characters life, particularly Vikander. She never disappoints.

The only issue I see that would hinder someone actually getting into this film is the fact that it's a little long in the tooth. You never really feel it, as long as you buy into the fact it's a character study and not a high concept fantasy film filled with dragons and sh*t. If you think Michael Bay and Zack Snyder are the pinnacle of cinematic excellence, pass on this. You won't make past the first tn minutes. Also, make better life choices. No, this is about Gawain and it never deviates from that core drive. Weird sh*t happens, sure, but it's nothing as fantastical as Smaug or a Balrog. Even so, this f*cking movie kept me glued to the edge of my seat. I loved every second of it and cannot sing it's praises enough. My only regret is that I didn't get to see it in a proper theater. This f*cker would have been a real experience to see on a proper cinema screen, especially that shot with the giants. The Green Knight is outstanding and deserves all of the praise it's gotten and so much more.

[inkweaver22-blr]

HOLY. MOLY.

This has to be the Lóng-est chapter I’ve written so far! It took me almost two whole days to complete!

Please enjoy the fruits of my labor as we all see what Tang gets up to next!

AO3 Link

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Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Seven: Scaled Siblings

Tang wakes up in Mei's mansion.

----------

Tang woke from the usual dream signaling the start of a new cycle when his alarm went off. With a sigh he sat up and reflexively clapped his hands. He blinked a bit in surprise when the lights turned on in response. He quickly put on his glasses and looked around.

The room he was in was not one he recognized. It was much larger than he was accustomed too, being the same size as either of the apartments he usually lived in. The opulent decorations also screamed wealth and old money to Tang, something he certainly never had.

As he climbed out of the king sized bed, Tang began to suspect where he was. The amount of green accents and jade adornments everywhere made it fairly obvious.

He was in the Lóng family’s mansion.

Shivering a bit as he rubbed his bare arms, (apparently this version of himself slept shirtless), he quickly made his way over the huge mirror that was standing upright in between a fancy dresser and antique armoire. He needed to know what was going on.

Tang’s mouth hung open when he saw his reflection.

He was young.

He was buff.

Tang gaped at his own body for a few moments. Sure, the scholar had never technically been out of shape in most timelines, but dang he had never been this fit before either.

Blushing in embarrassment once he realized he had just been staring at himself for over a minute, Tang did his best to refocus.

(But damn did he look good.)

He was much younger than usual as well. If the scholar had to guess, he’d say he was only a few years older than MK and Mei now.

He really needed to find out what was happening.

Tang took a breath and began his remembering ritual.

“I am Lóng Tang. I am the current heir to the branch of the Lóng family descended from Huánglóng, the Yellow Dragon.”

What the hell?!

Tang rubbed his temples as he felt a headache coming on. He thought being Tripitaka had been confusing enough, but this was on an entirely different level of unexpected. He needed to keep going or he’d get stuck on this single fact for much too long.

“Every family descended from a dragon traditionally takes on the name Lóng. Even though we aren’t tied by blood, all the Lóng branches consider each other family and treat each other as distant relatives.”

Fascinating, but that didn’t really help ease his confusion much. Next detail.

“I’ve been living with my aunt, uncle, and cousin, who are descended from Ao Run, the Dragon King of the West Sea, for the last four years.”

Well that explained why he was in Mei’s mansion.

“I’ve done so at the request of my aunt and uncle, who are hoping that by setting a good example, Mei will learn from me, grow out of her childish pursuits, and become a proper heir.”

What. The. Hell.

Tang searched his memories thoroughly. There was no way Mei’s parents would have said such a horrible thing to him directly.

He came up with no concrete evidence of his aunt and uncle having ever implied that they found Mei lacking in any way. It seemed this version of himself had simply made that assumption himself.

Tang rolled his eyes. He certainly knew how dangerous making assumptions could be. He needed more information to get a better conclusion.

“Luckily for Mei, I find her to be fun and do my best to act as a buffer between her and her parents. She introduced me to her friend MK back in my first year living here, and he quickly befriended me once I began sharing stories about the Monkey King with him. We all like to hang out at MK’s adoptive father’s noodle shop whenever we all have some free time.”

Tang smiled in relief. At least some things never changed.

“Right now, I should be making my way to the mansion’s training room for my daily workout before heading to my job at the city library.”

Tang blinked as he finally checked the time. 5:17 AM. Eurgh. He should not be feeling this energetic this early.

With a resigned sigh, Tang pulled out a set of exercise clothes from the ridiculously nice dresser and got dressed.

He had always heard exercising was a good way to help clear your head when you had a lot to think about. At least, that’s what a lot of martial arts fiction implied. He hoped that it worked the same in practice.

----------

Tang had never felt so in control of his own body before. The way it seemed to flow from one movement to the next as he began some warm up sets was extremely satisfying.

Just as satisfying was the fact that he was trained in martial arts in this timeline. He never had a real desire to fight, but just knowing how to defend himself was a bit reassuring with what he knew would be coming in the future.

He let his mind wander a bit as he let his muscle memory lead him through his pre-workout routine.

This cycle had broken Tang’s previously held conventions on what he had come to expect within these timelines. He had originally categorized them into five types.

The ones where there were no changes to the original timeline.

The ones where there were only small, relatively insignificant changes.

The ones where new events outside of the ones in the original timeline occurred.

The ones where he was the immortal Tripitaka instead of just his reincarnation.

Finally, there were the ones that combined any number of changes from the previous three types.

Tang moved on to a second, more difficult set as he pondered on this shift in perspective. It was obvious this was a new, sixth type of cycle he simply hadn’t encountered before. This one had completely rewritten his and Mei’s background, making huge alterations to their past that would surely affect the coming future events.

Tang felt a shiver of fear creep down his spine but kept his form steady.

Now that his personal history was almost completely unrecognizable, what did that mean for the “No Interference” rule? It didn’t seem to apply whenever Tang himself didn’t know what the outcome of events could be. So with him having an altered life, did that mean the outcomes of the events he knew of would have been altered as well? Could he get more involved than before now as he never knew what those outcomes would have been? Perhaps he couldn’t directly affect the outcomes, but surely he wouldn’t be punished for offering a bit of backup and support now that he could provide it.

Right?

He smoothly moved onto his final warm up set as another complication occurred to him.

This wouldn’t be the only cycle that would drastically change his and his family’s past. Like the other variants, now that he had experienced one, more would begin to show up with increasing frequency as time went on.

What worried Tang was that they would also share the unpredictability of the others. The vast amount of probable changes were too numerous to even begin guessing what might happen until a cycle began and he could remind himself of his history within it.

He supposed that there was nothing he could do about that until those cycles actually happened, so there was no real point in fretting over it now. He let his worries go as he finished his warm up and took a deep breath.

Tang felt good.

Better than good, actually, he felt energized. Charged up, so to speak. It was exhilarating.

With a grin, Tang focused on the part of himself that was dragon in origin. The energy that swirled within him was powerful; a strange mix of wild strength and immovable sturdiness.

He let warm power fill him as he held out his hand. In a flash of golden-yellow light, the young scholar summoned his family’s own sacred weapon to him. Tang examined it in awe.

Dàdì Zhī Yá.

Fang of the Earth.

It was a masterful work of art.

The magical guandao had been a gift to his ancestors from Huánglóng himself and, just like Mei’s Dragon Blade, seemed to be made entirely out of jade.

It wasn’t the same green jade however. It was made up of three other types of the precious mineral.

The intricately designed blade was a bright yellow jade, matching the color of the scales of its creator. The shaft of the weapon was a rich brown jade, symbolizing the element of Earth Huánglóng was associated with. Finally, the connector for the shaft and blade and the counter-weighted capstone at the butt of the shaft were a deep black jade. It was said to represent the color of ink as Huánglóng had supposedly gifted the knowledge of writing to mankind.

The only part of the weapon that wasn’t made of jade was the royal purple silk tassel that hung from the connecting piece near the blade. It complimented the earthy colors of the rest of the guandao rather nicely.

Tang took the weapon in both hands and got into the proper stance to begin his drills.

He had earned the right to wield the Fang of the Earth roughly six years ago according to his memories and had practiced diligently with it ever since.

Being chosen to be worthy of possessing it had forged a sort of connection between him and the guandao. Normally, the weight alone should have made it impossible for him to lift it, but the connection allowed him to hold it with little difficulty. He had still struggled a bit with how heavy it was despite that, but the years of training had helped him gain the strength and muscle to wield it with incredible precision and control.

Simply being able to pick it up wasn’t the only benefit to being connected to his family’s sacred weapon. It seemed to bond with the dragon energy within him, allowing the scholar to summon it to his side at will. The only drawback was that his hands had to be completely free to do so.

He wondered if the Dragon Blade worked similarly for Mei back in his original timeline.

Tang swung the guandao around skillfully, thinking about his cousin in this cycle.

Lóng Xiǎojiāo. Mei.

The young woman was an endless fountain of optimism and positivity. She had a passion for life and its experiences. Riding her motorcycle was just one of the ways she connected to her innermost self and channeled her enthusiasm for existence.

She was fiercely loyal to her friends and family. She may not be formally trained in a fighting style, but if you hurt her precious people you’d face her wrath.

Mei was generally cheerful and outgoing in most aspects of her life. The single exception had been her relation with her family and their legacy.

Tang frowned as he continued his drills.

In the original timeline, Mei had constantly been under the pressure to behave properly. At least she had until the Dragon Blade had been stolen and she unlocked its power. By embracing being a part of her family despite their differences and by being herself, she had become a worthy successor to her clan’s lineage.

But that was still four months away according to the current date. This was certainly the earliest he’d even woken up before the original events.

His presence here wasn’t helping matters. While he and Mei had become good friends, he couldn’t help but feel that she thought she was constantly being compared to him by her parents.

Again, he had no strong proof about whether that was the case in this cycle. It was just a suspicion he had.

Tang hummed to himself, trying to think of some way to fix this problem while slashing downwards with the Fang of the Earth.

He couldn’t do anything overt that could change things so that she accepted her place in her family too early. He was sure that violated the “No Interference” rule despite the changed history.

Perhaps he could try subtly raising Mei’s self confidence? But how could he go about doing that?

Tang twirled the guandao around him before ending his first set.

As he looked down at his own family’s legacy and heritage, he couldn’t help but think that learning to use the weapon had made him more sure of himself over the years.

Tang blinked.

Huh.

Perhaps he could use that.

He started into his next set of drills, already brainstorming about what he would need to make his plan work.

----------

Tang was certain his earlier suspicions about Mei’s parents were, thankfully, completely wrong. The dinners they shared as a family proved to him that they loved their daughter completely. They just didn’t see eye-to-eye on some things.

He was also able to get their permission and help with the idea he had. That showed how much they actually cared considering the things he had asked for weren’t something people only obsessed with their image and wealth would agree to.

It took nearly three weeks to prepare but he was finally ready.

“Uncle, do you remember that issue we discussed a few weeks ago,” he asked at dinner that evening.

“Oh, is it ready?”

“Yes Uncle.”

“Wonderful! Mei darling,” his uncle addressed the young woman, who eyed him warily.

“Yeah dad?”

“Tang here has come up with a bit of a surprise for you. Would you be willing to join him in the training room after dinner so that he may share it with you?”

“Uhh… I guess so,” Mei agreed hesitantly, glancing over at her older cousin.

“Don’t worry. It’s a good surprise,” Tang reassured.

“It’s also one we support and gave our full permission for,” Mei’s mother added. “Listen to what your cousin has to say and try not to dismiss it right away, dear.”

Tang winced a little as Mei glared down at her plate.

He clamped down at the growl that wanted to roll from his throat at the slightly tactless comment. Dragon instincts had been interesting to deal with these past few weeks. Especially the protective ones.

Dinner finished soon after and Tang led Mei to the training room.

“So what’s this big surprise you’ve got for me,” Mei asked, slouching as she looked around the room.

“Don’t sound too excited now,” Tang drawled as he pulled out a wrapped package.

“I don’t know. Something that has my parents' full support sounds soooo cool,” Mei snarked, earning a snort from the scholar.

“Trust me on this. You’ll like it,” Tang said, slowly unwrapping the item. “How would you like to learn how to wield a sword?”

“Wait, what?” Mei straightened her posture in surprise. She gasped when Tang finally unveiled what he was holding.

A replica of the Dragon Blade.

“Wha- But- How?!” Mei gaped at the sword. It wasn’t an exact copy, but it had the same dimensions as the original.

“Your parents allowed me to commission a copy of the Dragon Blade so that I can begin teaching you how to use it.”

That had been a bit of a hard sell. He had to agree to only go through a smith of their choice and all schematics of the blade had to be destroyed afterwards. But they had gone through with it, at least once he explained it was for Mei’s benefit.

Mei’s expression flickered between several emotions before settling on anger.

Uh oh.

“Oh I get it! This is because I’m ‘undisciplined’ isn’t it,” she bit out, a growl rising in her voice. “I need to be reined in! Taught how to be a dignified heir to the clan like you, right?!”

“No! That’s not-” Tang took a breath. He wouldn’t get through to her if he started yelling too. “That’s not what’s going on here, Mei.”

“Oh? Well it sure looks like it is to me!”

“Will you please let me explain?”

“Ugh!” Mei threw her arms in the air before crossing them and looking away in a huff. “Fine! But once you’re done I’m out of here.”

“That’s okay. No one said you had to go through with this if you didn’t want to,” he reassured. That seemed to make some of the tension ease out of her.

“First, this was my idea, not your parents’. The only thing I needed permission from them was to make this replica.

“As for why... I just wanted to spend more time with you is all.”

“Huh?” Mei looked up at the nervous scholar. “But we hang out all the time!”

“Yes, but that’s usually with MK as well. Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Tang hastily added at her sudden glare. “I love the kid, really I do!

“But we don’t really do anything that’s just for the two of us. Since I enjoy training with a weapon, I thought it could be something we could share?”

Mei had her brows furrowed in uncertainty.

“But… Why go through the trouble of making a copy of the Dragon Blade then? Couldn’t you just teach me how to wield a guandao as well? That is the weapon you actually know how to use.”

“I suppose that’s a fair point,” Tang conceded. “But what about when you claim the real Dragon Blade for yourself? Shouldn’t you know how to properly use it when that happens?”

“When I-” Mei’s breath caught. “You think I-! I’m not-! My parents would never-!”

“Mei, Mei!” Tang placed a hand on her shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. “Take a breath. In and out.”

The young woman took a few deep breaths, calming herself. Then she stared into Tang’s eyes, looking for any deception.

“Do you really think mom and dad would ever let me use the blade?”

“I’m not sure what they might do.” That was a slight lie, but he couldn’t force her into a realization about her family too early. He was pushing it as it was just by telling her he thought she’d get the blade.

“But I do know you. You’re optimistic. You’re funny. You’re loyal. You’re incredibly brave. I’m sure that just by being yourself everything will turn out.” That was not a lie. His cousin was all those things and he admired her for it.

Mei, who had tears in her eyes, launched herself at him and pulled him into a hug. Her grip was powered by her dragon strength, but luckily for Tang this time, he had his own so he wasn’t crushed in the embrace.

“Thank you Tang.”

“No problem, Mei.” He held her for a moment before pulling away and asked, “So does this mean you want to learn swordplay?”

“Heck yeah it does!” Mei pumped her fists into the air. “This is going to be awesome!”

“Good.” Tang gave a mischievous smirk. “Then I expect you to be here bright and early tomorrow morning.”

Mei froze in her celebrations.

“Uh… How early, exactly” she asked nervously.

Tang’s grin was filled with too many fangs as his eyes sparkled with humor.

“5:30 sharp.”

“NOOOOOOOO!” Mei’s dramatic cry of horror and slump to the floor made Tang burst out in laughter.

Who knew teasing a younger relative could be so much fun?

----------

Tang grit his teeth as he slashed through another bull clone with Fang of the Earth.

It was finally the day of Demon Bull King’s invasion and the group had just returned from the volcanic ring where MK had seemed to perish. They were fighting their way through the army of bull clones in an attempt to get to the center of the city where Demon Bull King was.

What they were planning to do once they reached him, Tang still had no clue no matter how many timelines he lived through.

Tang dodged a strike from his left and countered with a quick sweep of his guandao.

There were definitely way more clones than there were originally. He supposed that this was whatever higher power that controlled the cycle's way of balancing out his ability to actually help out.

He dispatched the group of enemies surrounding him and looked around.

There was Pigsy who was beating away clones with a loose pipe. Sandy stood next to the chef, deflecting any attacks that came their way with two trash can lids. Where was-

Tang’s pulse quickened when he heard Mei scream.

He searched frantically, dodging or redirecting the strikes coming his way when-

There!

Mei was backed up against a building, surrounded by clones. She was holding a gash on her arm and the broken remains of her training sword lay at her feet.

She looked scared.

Tang could feel it as his eyes narrowed into slits and a menacing growl tore from his throat. With a roar of fury, he leapt into the air towards Mei.

He let his power loose, manifesting an avatar of his dragon form behind him as he filled the Fang of Earth with golden-yellow energy.

“STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER!”

He landed in front of Mei and shouted in rage as he stabbed the ground with the guandao. A shock wave of power spread through the earth around them, causing it to spike up to stab any clone it passed.

The energy dissipated once all the bull clones in the area had been destroyed. Satisfied they were safe for the moment, Tang swiftly turned around and began checking over Mei.

“Are you alright Mei?! What am I saying, of course you aren't! You’re bleeding! Let me see that.” The dragon scholar fussed over the young woman, inspecting the wound before tearing off the hem of his robe to serve as a bandage.

“Did… Did you just call me your sister?” Mei’s eyes were wide as she stared at him.

Tang froze for a moment. Had he?

Oh. He supposed he had.

Well that explained where the fondness and protective feelings he had developed for her over the course of their daily training came from.

Tang finished tying off the bandage before looking at Mei.

“Is… Is that okay,” he asked nervously. “Because if you aren’t okay with it I won’t call you that again- oof!”

He was cut off by Mei launching herself at him and hugging him tightly.

“Of course it's okay you goof!” He could hear her sniffles as she fought back tears.

“Oh! Well… That’s, uh, good,” Tang relaxed into the hug as his nervousness melted away.

Mei snickered and pulled away, giving him a blinding smile.

“Come on, big bro. We’ve got a city to save!”

Tang felt his own face light up as he picked up Fang of the Earth and followed his sister to regroup with Pigsy and Sandy.

He knew they were no match for Demon Bull King and would have to wait for MK’s arrival to defeat him, but right now Tang felt like he could take on anything.

----------

Tang grew accustomed to being able to help in fights. They had all been scaled up in scope so that while his support was useful, it was never the tipping point that could change the outcome into something different.

The cycle moved on swiftly.

He celebrated with Mei and her parents when she obtained ownership of the real Dragon Blade.

He fought in their resistance when the Demon Bull King invaded a second time.

He did his best to be there for MK when the signs of his stress began to show.

All too soon, the day of training in the desert came.

Lady Bone Demon’s attack was just as brutal as ever.

However, when he and the rest of the group jumped to attack her once MK got caught, Tang instinctively dodged out of the way of her retaliation.

Before he could think of the potential consequences of attempting to change the outcome, he began to slash downwards with the Fang of the Earth.

Only to be stopped dead in the air when the Mayor grabbed the blade with no effort.

Tang felt dread crawl up his spine as the demon smiled nonchalantly at him. Flashbacks to that early cycle triggered in his mind, causing him to freeze up.

The Mayor casually ripped the guandao from Tang’s loose grasp, tossing it over his shoulder like a discarded piece of trash. Then he punched the dragon scholar with enough force to launch him back onto the ship.

Tang could only assume the events continued as normal from there.

He was too busy having a panic attack to notice.

Years of training and experience and still he was powerless against that man! He vaguely acknowledged he had started to cry at some point.

“Tang! Big brother! It’s okay. He’s gone. We got away.” Mei was holding him as he sobbed.

“M-mei?”

“I’m here, big brother. We’re safe.”

Tang began to breathe deeply in order to calm himself. He wanted to be composed when Wukong showed up with MK so as not to worry them too much.

He hugged Mei fiercely before pulling away.

“T-thanks, little sister,” he said with a shaky smile. She just smiled back and helped him to his feet.

As he leaned against the younger woman, Tang couldn’t help but feel extremely lucky to have gotten to know her like this.

She was fierce, loyal, brave, and kind.

She was the best sister someone could have ever asked for.

----------

Welcome to the Golden Dragon Tang AU!

This is my own personal creation, and most of the prominent details (minus Tang knowing the future from timeline jumping) are laid out in this chapter. If I got any of the details about the Yellow Dragon wrong I apologize! I'm not a mythology expert.

A guandao is basically the Chinese equivalent of a glaive; a short sword mounted on a 1-2 meter pole. I may get around to drawing Fang of the Earth at some point. Also please forgive me if the Chinese for the name is wrong for I am but a humble google translate user.

In case you haven’t noticed, a few of the chapters have been dedicated strictly to character studies of the other members of the Monkie Kid crew through Tang’s perspective. Mei’s just happened to occur at the same time as my really long debut of the cool AU I had made up! Also does anyone have some good fanon names for Mei’s parents? I was dying never referring to them by name.

And yes, Tang does still have some issues with the Mayor. I’m sure that won’t be too relevant in the future.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought and see you next time!

[buckybarnesbingo]

3 Prompt Summaries

fantasy creature,  ice cream,  jail - suggested by @liquidlightz

@rebelmeg - so, this is what bucky gets for taking his pet dragon out for ice cream.  jail.  it's really inconsiderate, actually, he didn't even get to finish his ice cream cone.

@wolfnprey - No one said anything about mermaids having a sweet tooth. No one said they get possessive either. After watching Bucky's exploration of the human world end with him cramming a gallon of cotton candy ice cream down his throat, the last thing Steve expected was to wind up paying a bond to get said merman out of jail all because Bucky did not take kindly to the ice cream server offering Steve free samples.

@caiti-creative-corner - Bucky just wanted to pick up some ice cream for his partner.  Now, thanks to a mistaken identity, he's got to get out of jail before sunrise. Or the cops were in for one very big surprise.

@polizwrites - When he ordered a unicorn sundae from the brand new (and extremely sparkly) ice cream parlor down the street, the last thing Bucky actually expected was to have an actual-factual unicorn show up as well.  To be fair, it seemed as surprised as he was, and more than a bit of chaos ensued.  It nearly stabbed the Animal Control officer before Bucky was able to calm it (no, him - DEFINITELY a him) down and now he sat with the magnificent creature  in the largest enclosure at the shelter, wondering what in the hell to do next.

@somesortofitalianroast -��Bucky wasn’t really sure why there was a unicorn in the ice cream parlor on the boardwalk. He was even less sure how he ended up arrested for the trafficking in supernatural creatures. All he wanted was a banana split and to sit on a bench and watch the ocean.

@lbibliophile-mcu - Bucky glares at the - unfortunately familiar - wall of the holding cell. It's not his fault that the anti-collision auto-correct on his teleportation periodically deposits him on the wrong side of a security door. But the guards who found him this time are new, so it always takes a little while for the higher-ups to convince them that 'no, he wasn't breaking and entering', 'yes, it was an accident' and 'yes, magic is a thing that happens - specifically to one James "Bucky" Barnes'. Of course, he could just teleport out of this cell. But they know who he is and have started the paperwork, and it is really a whole less hassle all round if he just sits tight for another hour or so and waits for this whole mess to get sorted out. However bored he is. Except... he can't leave, but that doesn't mean he can't bring something in... A few seconds  later, the cameras show him lounging back on the bench, taking a large bite out of a triple-serve ice cream.

@liquidlightz - merge this fumbling magician Bucky with Poliz' one and you get a unicorn appearing in the holding cell :unicorn:  so much more paperwork !

@huntress79 - If Bucky had to choose one thing that the serum, no matter what version, made better, he probably would have named the ability to eat almost obscene amounts of ice cream without any side effects. In the first few months after showing up at the tower, he and Natasha spent many a night tasting almost every ice cream flavor available in the greater New York area. But then, a certain God of Mischief chose Bucky as his latest "victim", taking him from the line at the ice cream parlor two blocks down from the Tower directly on a trip to a realm filled with dragons, and faes, and whatnot else (sure, Bucky had read the Tolkien books, but come on, Smaug had nothing on that magnificent, golden-red giant they encountered on their first day). And of course, Loki had to make it even worse, and go and try to steal some of the dragon's hoard. Everyone knows that it only ends bad! Well, it did, at least for Bucky - who ended up in a dark, smelly cell in the king's underground jail, while Loki was nowhere to be found. Was it too much to ask to get the largest bubble waffle filled with pistachio, vanilla and lemon sorbet without getting interrupted or kidnapped? Jeez...

More under the cut!

Chicken, Tall, Pearl - suggested by @ariasfandom

@rebelmeg - bucky loved going to his grandma's farmhouse as a kid.  it was full of adventures and things to see and animals to play with.  well.  all except for pearl.  pearl was mean.  and pearl, the biggest, tallest, crankiest chicken that bucky had ever seen, seemed to harbor a real and visceral hatred for bucky himself.

@wolfnprey - It was Sam's insistence that led Bucky to visit Clint on his family farm. It was Sam's dare that got Bucky pecked by a bunch of overprotective hens when he tried to help collect eggs. Again, Sam's fault that Bucky wound up stuck in a tall ass tree because the asshole scared Clint's dog and somehow the dog wound up in the tree.  So when Bucky wound up finding a lizard that Clint's daughter called Pearl cuddling up to his face in the morning, he knew it was Sam's fucking fault then, too.

@liquidlightz - Bucky loved to trade pearls with his new found friend.  He'd search the ocean floor and gather a few to bring to Steve, who in turn would bring him what he called chicken.  It tasted so different from fish and Bucky was hooked.  The taller the chicken the more pearls Bucky would give Steve.  In his world these had value, but Steve was planning to give them right back one day, he was just designing the perfect necklace to make out of them for Bucky.  In the meanwhile, he could do with eating veg and potatoes so he could give Bucky all his chicken.

@huntress79 - Like in so many other things, the animals of Wakanda were just as unique as the country itself. The rhinos were scary at first, but once you knew the trick, you could turn them into giant balls of fluff in no time. The goats, though just as stubborn as those Bucky remembered from childhood summers spend with relatives in Indiana, were the biggest source of entertainment in the village, hands down. But truth be told, the biggest surprise were the chicken. Sure enough, they could work up a cacophony of sounds in a heartbeat like any other chicken on this planet, but for some reason, Wakandan chicken were way taller, with legs as long as some supermodel, and the shells of their eggs almost resembled pearls, so sparkly.

@somesortofitalianroast​ - a chicken on a tall dresser with mother of pearl drawer knobs....

@ribbonsflyingoutthewindow​ - There's a whole comedic fic in there somewhere.

@bookdragon13​ Bucky trying to wrangle up a chicken on Clint’s farm and it ends up on the dresser somehow? Somehow I can also see Bucky buying a tall chicken statue made out of pearl kinda like the dog statue Joey bought in Friends

paintball, drive-in, cherry chapstick - suggested by @wolfnprey

@rebelmeg - bucky's first date with the love of his life was... perfect.  it was everything a first date should be.  they played paintball like kids, no-holds-barred and laughing like hyenas.  then the drive-in movie, a double feature while they ate popcorn and blushed while they held hands.  and the kiss at the end of the night... bucky could still taste the cherry chapstick on his lips, and he couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face.

@liquidlightz - Bucky loved and hated paintball in equal measure.  He loved getting to run wild and show off his skills, not just shooting, but agility and camouflage. The darn helmet these venues required you to wear played havoc with his hair though, and the cold wind and dust from crawling around made his lips dry and there was no way he was showing up to his date later this evening with chapped lips.  Steve was taking him to a modern drive-in, reminiscent of the old days, and that was just going to end  in hours of making out, at least.  He paused out of sight behind a tree and pulled out his plum-flavoured chapstick from one of his many pockets, which may have also been housing a comb, mini conditioning spray, and whatnots.  Re-applying every 20mins should hopefully do the trick.  Putting it away again, he checked the charges left in his rifle.

@huntress79 - Tony Stark was, despite his repeated protests, a lot like his father Howard, at least to Bucky. It was most obvious with the things he invented, but apparently, the same brain was also good with coming up with new, crazy ideas for team bonding events. Like taking a whole lot of individuals trained on various weapons to a paintball area. After some discussion, Bucky, Wanda, Clint and Scott ended up on Steve's team, while Nat, Rhodey, Peter and Maria Hill made up Tony's team. And holy moly, everyone, except for Peter, treated it like an actual mission. Within moments after splitting up, Steve was dispersing tactics, Clint was checking the wind, and Scott was trying to get the ants in the floor to cooperate. Wanda was watching the whole shindig with a fond smile, while reapplying her cherry-flavored chapstick. And Bucky? His mind was already on his evening plans - a nice date with Sam, consisting of dinner at a small seafood restaurant near Battery Park, a movie at the summer drive-in and tied off with (hopefully) some adult action in either of their apartments at the Tower. He only hoped he would survive these crazy "war games" first.

@somesortofitalianroast - Bucky wasn’t really sure why they were playing paintball. Well, “play” paintball. With him, Clint, Nat, and Tony all with exceptional marksmanship skills, it made no sense. It made even less sense for them to have the paintball “game” at an abandoned drive-in movie theatre, which just so happened to be located on a lot that included several acres of woods and lake with a dock. Until Steve mentioned that he had a tube of cherry chapstick and Bucky could taste it. But only if he won.

[touhou-gensoudairantou]

Maria Unleashes her Strength!

Alhough she was one of four girls kidnapped by the Dark Priest Shaft for a ritual to resurrect the nefarious Dracula, Maria Reneard proves to be a valuable ally in Richter’s crusade to save her friends and his girlfriend Annette once rescued. A girl from another family of Vampire Hunters distantly related to the Belmont clan, Maria has a natural affinity with the abilities of animals and acrobatic movements. She may be frailer than Richter, but her speed, striking power, and maneuverability will prove to be the perfect way to style on opponents as either a small anime girl in a pink dress or a confident young vampire hunting woman. Your call, really, but underestimating her either way will cost you dearly. (Requested by @spooner-the-trinity​)

Of course, Maria Renard was only playable in a few games, but I happen to love all those games, and the programmers were gracious enough to give her plenty of techniques and abilities to work with. Her techniques are derived from her original appearance in Rondo of Blood for the PC Engine, the Sega Saturn version of Symphony of the Night, and the PSP Dracula X Chronicles’ remakes of both games.  Eh? “Judgment”? The hell are you talking about? H-hey, are you trying to make a dumbass outta me!? You bastard, there ain’t no such thing as a Nintendo Wii fighting game released on November 18th, 2008 based on the Castlevania series that had mostly controversial character designs by the artist of Death Note with particularly infamous examples including Buff Light Yagami. And there is c-e-r-t-a-I-n-l-y no incarnation of Maria Renard based on my least favorite character from that series that had all the good of Maria chucked thrown out of the window for this bastardization who obsesses over the figures of the other female characters, making me feel like I just gave up my triple-shot Holy Water for a Dagger that I will then proceed to hack my own head off with and throw at Konami with my post-mortem spasms. And even if there was such a game as this “Castlevania Judgment”, the only good character in it would be Aeon, who has always existed since always and till forever independent of this hypothetical game, thank you very much.

Hrmm-hrmm... anyways...

Jab: Maria sends forth a Dove or Owl that travels a fair distance. Pressing the button mid-flight will have Maria kick in front of her. There’s a 50/50 chance of either bird spawning, but there’s a minuscule difference in damage and speed between them.

Dash-Attack: Maria performs a dashing Drop Kick that can strike short-hopping opponents out of the air if well timed.

F-Tilt: Maria sets loose one of her Cats. It’ll run until it trips up an opponent by clawing their ankles, is knocked away by an attack or it disappears at the edge of the stage.

D-Tilt: Maria encases herself in a rock shell that damages opponents as it is form, which then has a Turtle land on top of it. In this state that lasts for a couple seconds, Maria is resistant to damage, but will be unable to move.

U-Tilt: Maria sends up two Cardinals at a... let’s say, 50-degree angle. They loop back to her after reaching about double her height.

N-Air: Maria does a rolling attack mid-air. Weak and has a small window of damage on its own, but if it hits an opponent, Maria will launch an Energy Ball that hits for big damage.

F-Air: Maria calls forth a Dragon, and holds onto its back as it glides into opponents with its immense weight. It’s slow, but can be quite powerful at the right time.

B-Air: Maria kicks behind her to knock away fighters getting too close.

D-Air: Maria rockets down from the sky in a Jump Kick, spiking opponents.

Side Smash: Maria uses the Sega Saturn version of her Guardian Knuckle attack, a magically charged punch.

Up Smash: Maria gains two flaming wings out of her back that resemble those of the Vermillion Bird Suzaku.

Down Smash: Maria calls upon the Black Tortoise Genbu as it spins around Gamera-style to attack enemies in front of and behind her in a circle.

Neutral B: One Maria's standard attacks in the Sega Saturn version of Symphony of the Night is an Energy Ball which can be charged for up to four levels. This is a very standard Smash Bros. Special, with a whole 4 levels of charge.

Side B: Maria rides the White Tiger Byakko for a short distance, running over enemies as it claws those caught in its path. Dismounting Byakko by jumping with give her a lot of height as it lets out a breath of fire, but be careful! If Maria is knocked off from above, Byakko will just disappear!

Up B: Maria is carried in the talons of the Vermillion Sparrow Suzaku as it rains down fire on opponents below. It may be slower than her standard jumps, but the protection Maria has in its grasp can be very much worth the trade-off.

Down B: Maria calls upon the Azure Dragon Seiryu, who surrounds her in a ring as it chases its own tail to defend her. Tilting the stick while it’s being summoned can have the dragon move to circle in a fixed location either next to or above Maria.

Shield: Maria uses the shell of the Black Tortoise Genbu as a shield that’s... surprisingly quite sturdy against many forms of damage. A perfect shield can outright nullify plenty of low-to-mid power Smash attacks. You can also Dodge using a famous Symphony of the Night-style backdash or a forward roll.

Grab/Pummel: Maria summons a Dragon to grapple the opponent in a bear hug. By pressing the button, the dragon squeezes them.

Back Throw: The Dragon spins around and throws the opponent far behind Maria.

Forward Throw: Genbu appears as the dragon tosses the opponent to the side, whirling the opponent before sending them flying.

Down Throw: The Dragon leans forward and crashes on top of the opponent’s back, causing heavy damage.

Up Throw: The Dragon rises up with the opponent in tow, before slamming them down into the ground, sending them ricocheting back upwards.

Bomb: Maria summons a shadow-like vision of herself that pummels the enemy for her. This Guardian Knuckle is invincible and has incredible attacking speed on top of excellent damage, but its range is quite middling. This is the Rondo of Blood and Dracula X Chronicles Symphony of the Night version of the Guardian Knuckle attack, but it also takes on a minor health drain effect like in her appearance in Portrait of Ruin.

Final Smash: Maria summons all four Holy Beasts at once to gain a state of invincibility and highly enhanced stats for a 10 second duration. After this duration, the beasts charge forward in front of her as they strike opponents with their powerful attacks.

Taunts:

-Up Taunt: Maria holds up a Key and seems to charge up an Item Crash, but pulls it back down, looking perplexed.

-Side Taunt: Maria holds out an egg as a nest’s worth of birds hatch from it and fly away. If they hit an opponent, they will receive 0.1% of damage with minimal knockback.

-Down Taunt: Maria hums a short ditty (a few notes from Bloody Tears, Opus 13 from Rondo of Blood, or The Tragic Prince from Symphony of The Night) as a series of multi-colored music notes appear.

Victory Screen:

Rondo of Blood Maria:

-Maria catches a falling Richter doll, gaining a 1-Up as she holds her Guardian Knuckle Doll in her other arm.

-Maria frolicks about the area and smiles at the camera as her animal friends gather around her.

-Maria celebrates as she sits down on a Magic Jewel, feasting on a Parfait as her Cat watches on.

Symphony of the Night Maria:

-Maria relaxes in front of a Save Polyhedron that’s just... there.

-Maria tries on the Holy Glasses, before removing them with a smile. Ghostly projections of the Four Sacred Beasts are seen around her as the glasses are removed.

-Maria slumps down in a chair, and is given a Heart Vessel that soon disppears as the “Life Up” text appears.

Alt Costumes:

You are free to choose between her original Rondo of Blood design or her older self from Symphony of the Night at your leisure. The former has a couple extra palletes based on the original PC-Engine designs of Iris, Tera, and Annette, while the latter has a couple based on Succubus and Alucard. Or, if you are as fond of the design as I am, you can play as her in her Dracula X Chronicles redesign, which has her use older Maria’s win screens.

[annakie]

An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Seven

List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Wherein we... talk to the crew. I didn’t quite make it off the ship.

Still, a lot of words.

Aka the nearly All-Gif update.

Didn’t get a chance to play ME at all this week, so I’m going to spend a few hours this weekend (double-checking to make sure screenshotting works :p) and have some real updates later.

So making it back to the ship from Therum, it’s time to talk to the crew.  I maybe could have gone and talked to them after getting on the ship after the Citadel, but they don’t really have any unique lines then so, I usually wait til now to go chat.

First, let’s talk to Liara.

The thing that sucks about talking to Liara (or Kaidan, or Ashley, if you don’t want to romance them) is, you know, the accidental romance.  Making “picking the Paragon-place choices = romance by default with NO WARNING” design was very Not Good.  They fixed this in later games, well moreso in Dragon Age games than ME, (and Andromeda is done very well for this) but still.  In ME3, the BackOff mod does a great job of making romance dialog more obvious and intentional.  

Liara’s dialog choices I feel like are even LESS obviously flirting I feel like than Ash and Kaidan’s.  Honestly with Liara’s most of the lines can be read and even said aloud as friendship then BOOM, all of a sudden she wants a threesome.  I choose middle dialog options whenever possible with Liara just to avoid this.  I’m not interested, never have been, don’t want Kaidan to think he has any competition.  But seriously, it’s poor game design here that you literally have to be a jerk to a companion at some points to avoid having them think you want to bang.   God, half of the reason I’d love a remaster would be to hopefully fix shit like this to avoid some of the pitfalls.  

I hate that some people use this as a reason to dislike these characters more.  And I’ll admit, in my early days as a ME fan, I held it against Liara, too, until I realized how dumb that is.  I especially hate it when you get to the “confrontation scene” and people use Kaidan not wanting to be in a threesome as a reason to dislike him more?  It’s not a bad thing to want to be monogamous?  (And of course, it’s not a bad thing to NOT want to be, assuming everyone is open and OK about it.)

I just prefer to not get that scene at all now, and to avoid “leading anyone on” accidentally etc.  My Shepard knows early on what she wants, and sticks with him all the way through.

I was going to talk more here about my feelings about Liara in general but uh, I guess I’ll do that later.  This is already really long.

Here’s a great post about how to avoid romancing Kaidan while being rude as little as possible to him.  

Well since he’s right outside the medbay anyway, let’s go talk to the LT.  

Have I mentioned how much I hate the orange glow?  

So anyway, I thought maybe I’d talk here a little bit about Why Kaidan?

I will point out here that I am mostly a hetero woman, so my choices in video game romances lean towards men first, though I’m also very cool with doing non-m/f romances in games, and often do on subsequent playthroughs of games I love, but that’s almost never gonna be my primary romance.

I’d already mentioned my love for Carth Onasi, one of the most hated companions in video games, If You’re A Guy.

By today’s standards, even the Carth romance isn’t that great.  But at the time, it was the greatest romance I’d experienced in video games.  There were a few others that were really good -- Valen Shadowbreath in Neverwinter Nights: Horde of the Underdark was the other really great one, but we also got nightmare fuel like Anomen in Baldur’s Gate (though that gets better with mods + the final BG expansion) or just under-written characters or romances like Casavir in NWN2 (who was much better with mods) or hell, either of your choices in KotOR2 imho.  But I used to play KotOR over and over for many reasons, such as holy shit a Star Wars game(!!) and one where you can actually be a female main character AND has that great Bioware storytelling... but a big reason was Carth.  

A funny thing about Carth Onasi... if you play a male main character, you have a very different experience with Carth than if you play a woman.  And even I can agree that hoo boy Carth gets tiresome quick if you play a male, as a female you at least get to flirt and that calms him down and evens him out a lot. But the one time I tried playing as a male, I didn’t make it off Taris because.. yeouch I could actually see what the guys playing were so mad about.

But hey, that voice.  Raphael Sbarge, I love that voice.  So like I said early on in these posts, I immediately knew I was going to romance Kaidan the very second I confirmed he was romancable, before I even ran back into the ship and met anyone on the crew aside from Joker and Kaidan.

And... that only got confirmed more and more as I went through ME for the first time.  The character is smart, and capable, and respected you, and never questioned your command, but made his feelings pretty clear along the way.  He could be a little doofy but in an adorable way with some of the things he said, honestly there was almost never anything I didn’t love about this character.

I realized some time ago that I have a thing for the Paladin archetype personally. 

This is Casavir, from Neverwinter Nights 2, and in NWN2, there are two romance options for women.  An under-written Lawful Good Paladin in his late 30′s who is willing to buck his superiors to do what he thinks is right but also places you on a pedestal and holds back all his emotions.  He’s a romance option. Or....

Bishop, a chaotic evil ranger who insults you a lot, threatens to rape an NPC under your protection, and ultimately betrays you.  

Most people who played NWN2 seemed to prefer the CE Ranger.  I loved the paladin so much I wrote fix-it fic that I never have gotten around to publishing anywhere to retcon his terrible dumb ending.

There’s a fan-made romance mod that helps with the romances in this game, though I dislike a lot of what they did, ultimately I always use it.

In Dragon Age?

Ah yeah, the Templar-Warden.  Love him.  He does have that “Oh I’m so young and experienced tee-hee” thing going on that isn’t my favorite, (at this point mostly because I’m actually in my mid-40′s so uh, I’m just Old) but otherwise, yeah, love Alistair.

Dragon Age 2, I mean I usually romance Anders but... I’m not real excited about either him or Fenris, or even either of the ladies, though I have done Isabella’s romance (as well as Fenris’) and enjoyed it.  I’d probably romance Avaline (or Varric!), if she were an option.  But yeah, Anders mostly because he IS trying to do what’s right, even if he... well.  You know.  

But Dragon Age Inquisition?

Give me that Blackwall-angst.  That stoic guy trying to be a Warden who comes undone for you.  You’d think I’d go for Cullen, but hey this game gave us two paladin archetypes, though one is merely pretending, he still atones and becomes what he was trying to be, one way or another, if you let him.  I picked this paladin archtype first because I did not like Cullen based on interactions with him in DA1 & 2.  I like him well enough in DA:I but Blackwall is my guy here.

Out of all the many, many companions in SWTOR, who’s my fave?

If Aric Jorgan isn’t a Paladin-type I don’t know who is, especially since any romanceable Jedi are uh, all your female padawans (don’t get me started) until Lana (also female) comes along. 

Hell, in a very long-running 4e D&D game I played from around 2009 to 2014 where my character fell in love with our party leader’s son, married him and fought the final boss 4 months pregnant with our twins.  That character’s husband... was a paladin.  I mean look at this art my friend picked out for his character’s son:

I mean dang, who (of those who are attracted to men of this type) wouldn’t?

I always pick the Paladin.  The guy who is gonna Do What’s Right no matter what it costs him, the guy who’s gonna be loyal, the guy who may bottle up his emotions or keep them under control all the time but ultimately does what it takes to get the girl... that’s my fave.  And that’s Kaidan.

I will also say my second fave archetype is rogue-with-a-heart-of-gold, and that’s more of a Garrus or Varric (if only he were a choice!!! :( ) type.. aka my second choice in these games.

Well that was a lot more words on that subject than I meant to do, so I’m going to just say real quick here that what I love about this first conversation with Kaidan is that he’s already no dummy, he knows something is up, and warns you about it.

We’ll save talk about his backstory for another day.

Let’s head downstairs.

Yay for sped-up elevators!  What used to take like 20 seconds now takes like, four.

URDNOT WREX.

This another place where Shepard starts out just sticking their foot in their mouths completely.  I feel like this is something the game definitely has problems with here.  Shepard should know a lot more about the Genophage, like they should have about say, Spectres, even if the player doesn’t. So basically every response you can give to Wrex about the genophage and what his people are going through sounds really insensitive.  Comparing the relatively minor First Contact War with the entire galaxy more or less uniting to keep the Krogan from taking over after the Rachni war seems pretty dumb, and also like something Shepard should already know.

Loredumping on the Krogans a bunch with Wrex is necessary, but  I think it could have been done better.  Though I think there are a lot of questions about the Krogan and the Genophage that ultimately are important but go unanswered. I’m going to be honest, because generally I want my companions to be happy and ultimately I want the happiest ending I can get, I usually cure the genophage and leave Wrex in charge.  But also I don’t think that ends up with the happiest ending for the galaxy.  Everything about the genophage is terrible, how it works, how it was administered, what it’s done to the Krogan as a people, but let’s be honest, the galaxy will also be in huge trouble just from a resources perspective if each krogan woman can have hundreds (or even just dozens) of babies a year, who are gonna all live a thousand years.  There’s got to be a compromise that, eventually, hopefully Wrex works out if he’s alive at the end of ME3 or the council figures out with Wreav or whoever.  

It is kinda funny though that here, I basically met Wrex at C-Sec, told him I’d help him with Fist, sent him to my ship, and basically just kidnapped him to go help with the rest of the mission.  He wanted to be here, right?  I can only assume I’m paying him a lot.

Ashley!

I do love Ashley Williams.

I’m not going to turn this into a “Is Ashley Racist” thinkpiece.  I’ve read a lot of both sides of this argument and no, I don’t think she is.  Some pieces of her attitude do need to be kicked up a bit, for sure.  She’s got about the same issues with aliens as most of the species of the galaxy have with each other, which sometimes isn’t great, but she’s far from supporting Terra Firma.

She’s smart, she’s funny, a hell of a shot, she’s being held back due to her family name.  I would love for if someday a Wilshenko OT3 were possible.  I’d do that in an instant.  I despise the fact that you can only keep Kaidan forever if you lose Ashley forever, though I don’t see that changing even in a remaster.  Please Bioware, for the super ultra remaster?

I know I need to do another run through the game with Ashley alive. I don’t remember too much of what happens in ME3 when she’s there.

I also love that her story is so much one of family.  From her stories of her sisters, to the point that it’s her own grandfather’s legacy that’s holding her back.  She’s so grounded, she reminds us that there are civilians out there we’re keeping safe, a whole world we rarely see, up in space and in the middle of so much military conflict.

GARRUS.

First of all, whew Garrus looks amazing in the lighting and with the textures with ALOT/MEUITM.  Very handsome.

Interestingly, Garrus does not really loredump on the turians.  We absorb a lot of what we find out about the turians more naturally.  Garrus is more all about C-Sec and the general politics of the Council, of Spectres, of C-Sec.  Gonna be honest, I expected C-sec to play into the game as a whole a lot more than it did based on Garrus’ talks about it.  I mean it was always there, but Bailey ends up being the face of C-Sec 

Garrus’ Law vs. I Do What I Want attitude is a nice way to do a non-goody-two-shoes companion story without having to go evil.  I love that Garrus’ story kinda mirrors our own as players, how are we going to get things done?  Shove a blaster in people’s faces, accept collateral damage, and do whatever it takes to get it done?  OR play by the rules, compromise, and see if that fixes things.

The thing is though, Mass Effect actually is great at giving us the illusion of choice without making a huge difference in the end.  Like I mentioned before... not bringing Garrus to ME1 makes little difference in how he acts in ME2 outside of a few lines of dialog.  Lots of things are like that, like pick Ash or Kaidan on Virmire, and yes one is always gone, but 80% of the content is basically the same from there on out for either character.

There are games out now that do that choice better.  Pathfinder: Kingmaker is one I can think of.  Or Tyranny.  Things you choose can alter the endings of those games drastically, locking entire paths out of the game.  

I used to think that was what I wanted.  Until I played Kingmaker and locked myself out of things I really wanted without realizing it.  I stopped playing the game, sad that my LI dumped me and wouldn’t come back without reloading many, many hours worth of game.  Despite enjoying the game overall, I still haven’t gone back.  When I do play again, I’ll probably keep a lot of tabs open of walkthroughs and tips on how to keep things going how I want.  Kind of defeating the purpose of the game.

Anyway, I got super off track again.  The point is, Garrus is the companion that gives us the most Choice in who he is.  Which is cool.  He illustrates our Paragon vs Renegade dilemma.  And it’s neat that it does make changes in some of the things he says in the future, but overall, his story doesn’t change much no matter what you do (Unless you, ya know, get him killed in ME2).

And therein lies a problem with Mass Effect, and video games as a whole.  It’s neat to see the little changes, but it’s rare for anything to be an actual Big Change, because... that’s a loooot of work for a developer and how much more money is all that going to cost him.

At some point in the future I’ll point out how lucky we are for what we did get, though.

Heeeey it’s Chief Engineer Greg Adams!  I wonder how many people don’t even know he has a first name?  Anyway, thank you for your one short conversation in which you explain how the Normandy works (honestly, great job with explaining this, Bioware, even if the science is ???) and like three sentences on who you are.  Wasted opportunity to give you an actual character.  Glad you like Tali, though!  See you in ME3.

TALI!

Okay, I will totally accept that Shepard doesn’t know much past the basics of quarian society.  That makes a lot more sense than Shepards not knowing much about asari.  

The quarians are so much more of an original creation I feel like than a lot of what we’ve seen in the galaxy so far.  Krogan?  Basically Klingons.  Turians?  Space Romans. Asari?  Twilek/Space Elves but ALL Hot Ladies.  Qarians feel like something new though.

I mean, I guess before they had to live in suits they were pretty normal, but their entire culture doesn’t feel like something we’ve seen everyplace before.  I mean I’ve seen space (g-slur)  but, eh not really.  

And Tali herself is such a good character.  I mean, she does suffer a little from being Very Important with her father being one of five admirals in a population of six million people but, I’ll allow it.  Nobody else on the crew has Very Important Parents.  I mean Garrus’ father is a little high up in the ranks but that’s a non-factor, Ash’s grandfather was but he’s dead and never seen, Wrex’s father is a chieftan but none of those is central to their current story or as big as this one. I mean, Spacer Shep’s own mother is a captain of a ship.  Tali herself in-game isn’t that sexualized -- most of that was the fandom’s doing.  She’s young but also confident and has her shit together.  

She shoulda been a same-sex romance in ME2/3 though, damnit!

Joker. Is. Amazing. And uh, also shoulda been a romance option. 

Hey first of all, how great was it that they put in disabled representation in this game.  I have read a few posts on how it could have been better, and definitely agree, but it’s also been so important to have say, Geordi LaForge as chief engineer of the Enterprise and also Joker here, in space, being awesome on spaceships.  And he really earns his the right to his bravado in calling himself the best pilot in the galaxy.  

Also?  Casting Seth Green was such a great choice.  I couldn’t imagine Joker as anyone else.  I mean this is Bioware so we expect, and definitely got, great voice acting (except for... ugh you know, we’ll get there in ME3) but honestly Seth Green was a particularly good choice.  I don’t care that he’s covered with sixteen layers of plot armor, he deserves it.

He’s the companion that we don’t ever get to take in the squad.  (I mean, except for that brief amazing moment in ME2)

I only wish in ME1 he had as much to say as in ME2/3.  At least he gets cool snarky lines after all the major missions.

One last thing before we get off the ship for awhile, I love that the crew is actually comprised of both men AND women in ME1.  With different hairstyles and faces, and even skin tones.  It’s nice to see they didn’t just reuse the same guy over and over for the nameless NPCs.  

Well, I guess they get names in ME2. :v

Anyway, I would like to point out, that there are seventeen nameless NPCs on the Normandy.

Then there’s Adams, Tali, Garrus, Wrex, Ashley, Kaidan, Chakwas, Liara, Pressley, and Joker.

That’s twenty-seven people and eight sleep pods.  Let’s remove the aliens, who couldn’t fit in a sleep pod (Garrus and Wrex), twenty-five people.  Are there people sleeping in the sleep pods now?  There must be, right?  Everyone can’t be awake when we’re on the ship just because we’re there?  How does that math add up?  Who is sleeping where, HOW DOES IT WORK!?  

Well, that’s their problem. I got my own bed.  Kaidan can share.

Also just... don’t get me started on how stupid this is.  I mean it’s nice having a shop on the ship but... the justification is terrible.  We all know it.  He was counted as one of the 17 nameless, btw.

Okay well, I was going to get off the ship this update but this is already stupid long and honestly I don’t have too much more content to post so, I’m gonna go actually play this game!

[ddaengyoonmin]

Chapter 9

Pairing: Jungkook x reader, Taehyung x reader, Jimin x reader, Namjoon x Reader, Jin x Reader  eventual Ot7 x reader in later chapters

Genre: fluff, angst, smut in previous and later chapters

Theme: Based kinda on sword art online a lot of similar ideas and themes kinda combining the idea of them trapped in the game, but the world is closer to ALFheim online

Warnings: Sad Jungkook and Jimin (Thats a warning because no one wants to ever see these bbys hurting and the author is v sorry.) , A small brawl between members

Word Count: 2.4k

 Jungkook stood in the doorway of the small cave room.  “Found you…” He muttered.

-----------------

You felt like you wanted to throw up.  How did he even find you here? Not that it was your biggest concern at the moment…

Jimin had a terrified expression on his face as he stood up to try and explain,  “Jungkook I-” he started but stopped when Taehyung also entered the room.  Even though Jungkook was in most every way the victim of this situation, Taehyung had always scared Jimin more, and for good reason.

Jungkook just shook his head, a heartbreakingly hurt expression on his face, and stumbled out of the cave room slowly.  

Taehyung took a moment to scan the room, inspecting the situation in front of him.  You were scurrying to re-dress yourself when it clicked in his mind what was happening here.  Taehyung was filled with rage.  In a flash he ran over to the cat hybrid and had him pinned against the wall.  “What the fuck did you do?” he growled.

“Nothing she didn’t want me to” Jimin said with a confident smirk, trying to hide his fear and at the same time assure Taehyung that it was all with permission.

Taehyung still wasn’t pleased with this answer.  He cocked an arm back and punched Jimin in the face.  

Jimin’s health bar took a small hit at this action.  

“Tae don’t” you shouted at him.

Taehyung simply scoffed and shot a glare your way before storming out of the room.

Jimin tried to go over to you for some comfort after being hurt, but you stood and took a few steps back from him.

“I really fucked up Jimin.” you started to sob and shake your head, putting your hands out to tell him not to come any closer to you.

He hung his head and remained silent.

“I have to go” you spoke quickly and rushed out of the room to go find Jungkook.

When you left the small room to enter the bigger room in the cave, you saw that Jungkook and Taehyung were face to face with Namjoon and Jin by the fire.  Aggressive stances and looks being exchanged by each duo.

“You’re not taking her back!” Jin shouted putting up his fists

“That's debatable” Taehyung hissed out, now mirroring Jin’s actions.

“Wait” Namjoon spoke with his face full of confusion. “Holy shit! Jungkook!” he exclaimed

“Oh my god... Namjoon is that you?” Jungkook gasped now looking the fire fairy over “Dude, what the hell” he yelled.

At that moment you had gotten close enough for your presence to be noticed

“Do you guys know each other?” You asked, though it seemed to have an obvious answer as they had used each other's real names.

Jungkook didn’t look at you or acknowledge that you’d spoke.  But Namjoon returned your gaze at them and answered.

“Yeah, we work together actually”

What an odd coincidence you thought.  They probably felt the same.  The tension in the room toward each other had gone down significantly at their revelations.

“So do we still have a problem here?” Taehyung questioned. “You guys know each other so we are good here right? Y/N comes with us” he moved towards you grabbing your arm and pulling you close to him.

Namjoon hesitated.  “I-I’m not sure…” he mumbled. He smacked a hand to his head “I should’ve realized that it was someone I’d know...dammit.  Your game strategies so far have been so skilled, only another game maker would’ve been smart enough to know to snatch up a water fairy at the beginning like that knowing what kind of stats and abilities she had.”

Wait...what? You stared at Jungkook in shock, he still avoided your gaze.  “Game...maker?”

Taehyung nodded since Jungkook obviously wasn’t about to acknowledge your existence any time soon.  “Jungkookie here is a game designer, he played a big part in the creation of this very game we all stand in now” he extended his arm waving it across the room, “And apparently you too... Namjoon was it?” he turned his face to the fire fairy.

Namjoon nodded “Yeah we were in charge of creating the types of spells, skill points and at times the types of quests and rewards for the mission that would be put into the menu screen.  We also got to beta test the game about 2 months ago, so we’ve had a lot of experience already.  There were about 20 of us that got to do that.  They are all probably here too.  But, Jungkook and I are the ones that got furthest in the game” He laughed “Most were better at creating rather than playing”

Jungkook stared down to the ground.  This wasn’t exactly how he’d wanted you to find this out.  He hadn’t wanted to tell you at all, thinking you might blame him for helping create this horror.  He felt guilty about it every day since you’d all been trapped here. Yet, at the same time, what did it matter now anyways.  

He had traveled at top speed going off tips from other players who had overheard a party talk about needing a water fairy so they could try and raid the dragon cave in Niflheim.  When he saw the cave with light from a fire shining from its mouth, he’d hoped he’d find you there.  

When he arrived he’d snuck in using his skills in illusion and sneaking to remain undetected.  He expected to find you tied up, or worse.  Now out of anger part of him felt the worse he expected may have been better than the worse he’d found.  He walked in just in time to see you cumming on Jimin’s fingers.  The man that this whole time Jungkook had thought was torturing you, holding you captive.   He had expected to see you cry out in relief at seeing him when he arrived to rescue you.  But you didn’t need rescuing, you were having a great time.  

He was so hurt, and embarrassed that he had assumed he meant anything to you.  He obviously didn’t, if he did you wouldn’t have been in such an erotic position with another man.  A position that he had pictured himself in with you many times.  He was angry at you, and angry at himself for being so fooled.  When you had kissed him at the inn, he felt like it meant something, and that you felt the same.  

His feelings for you weren’t gone even now, but he didn’t know how he’d ever be able to face you again without seeing that scene play in his head that he’d just walked in on.  The pain in his stomach was unbearable.  And on top of all that now you were probably going to hate him for being one of the game makers.  Not that he wasn’t assuming you might already hate him, because how could anyone who cares about someone do something as cold as what you’d just done.

“Jungkook did you hear Namjoon?” Taehyung was staring right at him.  

Jungkook had been so lost in thought he’d zoned out from the conversation that was still going on between the other three men around the fire.  

“Uh...no actually I’m sorry” he shook his head.

“I said we were such good teammates in the beta version of the game, so it seems like the best solution here is to just join our parties right? Then we both get the water fairy and two great minds” He grinned as he repeated suggested a second time.

“I don’t excuse you for stealing her in the first place, we weren’t just using her like you guys were.  Her name isn’t water fairy, its y/n and she’s our friend” Taehyung said narrowing his eyes at the two men “but this does sound like a smart plan don’t you think Jungkook?” he turned to him.

Jungkook simply nodded.  They were right, it wasn’t a bad idea, Namjoon and him had dominated in the beta test of the game, making it many floors higher than anyone else had with just the two of them.  Yet still he was not too pleased with the idea of having to stay in the same party as Jimin.  He was hoping that if he took you back, if he was able to force you away from Jimin that maybe you’d find yourself having regrets and if you ever did in the first place maybe you’d develop some feelings for him again, maybe he could win you back.   

Little did he know you were already filled with regrets, you had been instantly even before seeing Jungkook standing there in witness to your crimes against him.  You felt like the world's biggest idiot.  How could you do something this horrible to the man you loved. Loved?

Jimin had said that he knew you loved Jungkook, and when he said that you hadn’t thought of it as love. But back in that small room when you had snapped out of the haze of your lustful mess you had created you had realized that yes, it was love, you loved Jungkook and you had just made a horrible mistake.  From here out you were going to do everything you could to make it up to him.  If he’d ever even want to talk to you again.  

“The water fairy agrees I suppose, if I’m allowed a say” you joked hoping to break some of the remaining tension that still was lingering in the room.

Jungkook nodded again and sent a request to Namjoon to merge the parties.

As he did Jimin had wandered out into the room to stand near his brothers.

“That one needs to watch himself” Taehyung growled pointing at Jimin.  “If you still want him alive he’s really gotta learn to keep his hands to himself”

You gasped softly at how aggressive that comment was.  Jimin shyly went and cowered behind Jin.  

Namjoon looked shocked as well “Let’s keep the talk of friendly fire out of this party for everyone's sake huh? We’re all on the same side now, so I’m going to suggest we put whatever grudges we are holding in the past” He said sternly “But, yeah he’ll be good” He added and turned to Jimin with an authoritative look.  Jimin nodded quickly.  

Things seemed to calm down and everyone sat down around the fire.  Taehyung and Jin actually seemed to be hitting it off, sitting down together, each staring at the other’s screen as they compared stats and items that they had found.  They even traded a couple items they had seen that they admired.  Namjoon and Jungkook discussed strategy and things related to what they had done in the beta version of the game.  

“Did you notice how much they hiked up the price on the Inn? That was bullshit” Namjoon scoffed.  

Jimin sat silently as far away from you as he could.  Occasionally he would try and meet your gaze trying to flash an apologetic look your way.  You would only glare and quickly turn your attention away, looking at Jungkook and trying to listen in to him and Namjoon, as if to show Jimin who you really had your heart leaning towards. It wasn’t completely Jimin’s fault in the moment you had wanted it just as much. You couldn’t help but be reminded of your weakness and failure to control yourself every time you looked at him.

He was hurt as well.  He didn’t mean to make you betray the one you loved.  He just couldn’t help himself, he was so infatuated with you, and you were there, so close and comforting him.  When he’d first joined your party back in the woods that second day, he’d started out just flirting with you for fun and for the sake of trying to charm you into leaving your party.  It didn’t take long for him to realize Jungkook was who you had your eyes on.  

You always looked at Jungkook with such a sweet expression that he could only have dreamed would be turned toward him one day.  He wasn’t exactly sure when his fake feelings for you had turned real, but when they did it was more than he’d ever felt for anyone before in his life.  He loved you so much, and he’d had you, underneath him, moaning his name so gracefully and beautifully, it was pure bliss. But, now he feared you’d never speak to him again, he was only the man that had caused you to be disloyal to Jungkook.   

Once the conversations had started to die down and everyone was falling into their sleep, you decided to approach Jungkook.  He was still awake sitting with his knees pulled into his chest poking the fire with a stick.  A frown planted on his face as he was lost in a deep thought.

You moved to sit close to him, hoping he wouldn’t get up and move away.  To your relief he didn’t.  

“Hey” you breathed out softly.

He didn’t respond, still staring into the fire.

“Jungkook I’m sorry…” You started. “I promise that meant nothing to me.  We had just gone through something terrifying and I was weak and...I’m sorry I shouldn’t be trying to make excuses. I fucked up.  I really fucked up and I know it.  I knew it instantly before I even saw you there” you started to feel your eyes fill with tears.

“Okay.” He said without emotion.

“Jungkook…” you were saddened by his lack of words.  You wanted him to scream at you, to tell you how stupid you were.  You’d even be okay with him saying how much he hated you.  Anything but this quietness.  He was hurt, he was more hurt than he was angry and it was killing you inside to know that you were the one who had made him feel this way.

“I wish I could take it back” you whispered.

“Yeah, me too” he softly replied, you could see him start to tear up himself.  He covered his face with an arm.  “Please just let me be y/n.  I can’t right now okay.  We’ll talk more tomorrow”

You hoped he was telling the truth.  Because tomorrow you were going to tell him you loved him.  You’d tell him tomorrow and the next day, and every day until he finally was able to forgive you, if that was possible.  You had to try.

[arkus-rhapsode]

Rhapsode’s Top 10 Favorite Fire Emblem Antagonists

Hey guys, so I wanted to do something a bit special because of a few asks I’ve gotten from time to time. Namely, who are my favorite villains in FE. Thing is, I wanted to do something with this for a while outside of an ask, and hear I am.

Now before I even start, these are all MY OPINIONS. These are my favorite antagonists in FE, not some objective masterlist that means anyone who isn’t on here is a bad villain. If you agree with me on this list, great! If you think I got everything wrong, I respect that opinion.

So if I left out any of your personal favorite villains in FE, let me know in a reply or reblog.

Now a little bit of criteria on how I had made choices,

Uniqueness: What does a villain bring as a character. Because FE is nothing if not a bit archetypal.

Impact on the Narrative: Now I think a good villain should be an active participant in the narrative as well as have a level of relevance. They also should have relation to the lore of the world they’re in.

Personality: In my opinion even a poorly written character with a magnetic presence can be more tolerable than a poorly written character with no personality

Were they satisfying of a boss in game: While FE emphasizes narrative, it has some terrific gameplay. So I would hope the opposing units really give you a run for your money.

Oh and fair warning, this will have spoilers.

With all that out of the way, sit back and I’ll tell you all about my favorite FE villains!

10. Uhai (Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade)

Yeah, so, we’re starting with probably the most tertiar antagonist on this list. While Uhai might not seem that important in the grand scheme of things. Being a Black Fang member who’s scared of what Nergal is going to do and is out for Ninian. 

So why did I pick him over other Black Fangs or Saceans?

Well in terms of Saceans, I really felt Uhai brought the most personality compared to someone like Glass, who was pretty basic. Especially for Lyn’s final villain. Uhai definitely felt the most… “Sacean,” if that makes sense. Having a code of honor and integrity. As well as acting on self preservation.

And while Uhai isn’t my favorite Black Fang, he shows something different as being one of the original fangs and having this sense of honor. Which was a really nice reminder about the humble origins of the Black Fang.

I also really like how he could’ve easily killed Lyn when he kidnapped her, but let her go to kill her as a warrior. Given Lyn’s underlying theme of fighting sexism, to have an opponent that didn’t factor in her gender and would fight her on equal terms, it was a really cool scene.

Sadly, he’s just a minor antagonist and if he got more time like being a part of the Four Fangs, I think he could’ve really added more.

9. Orson (Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones)

Orson seems pretty simple all things considered. He loved his wife, Monica, and after losing her, he is willing to make a deal with the devil to bring her back. It’s not much, but I think what plays into the effectiveness is seeing him before his wife is revived and having him on your team, then watching what he has become after her revival.

Having a villain who starts off as a playable character and then later is an antagonist is always tricky. From a story perspective, you spent time with them that even you, the player, feel negatively affected by the heel turn. However, from a gameplay aspect, it's a tad annoying if you spent time grinding them. 

Orson, is pretty obvious in that he’ll be turning against you, but we really see him as a somewhat charming and endearing guy at first. But then when he returns to Renais to be with his wife, it leads to one of the most unsettling narrative shifts I think FE has done.

We see him now in charge of Renais, but now more mentally disturbed, physically malnourished, and locking himself away from the rest of the kingdom to be with his wife. Seeming like magic has possessed him. But when you find that this is due to being reunited with his wife who is now just a corpse that can only say “Darling” you really feel this messed up mood permeating the chapter.

There's so much unsaid, and I think that it works to the advantage of the story. Comparing the Orson you meet when he’s your ally to the Orson you meet as an opponent, it really doesn’t need to be said how he fell so hard. That Orson has given up so much and now that he has his wife back he’s just convincing himself that she’s alive.

While another villain on this list did the heel turn far better than Orson, I still think that the sheer shock of Orson’s story really makes you feel for him, while just wanting to end him.

8. Bloom, Hilda, Ishtar and Ishtore (Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War)

So this one is definitely cheating. 

While only two members of the Friege family could really stand on their own as definable villains, I actually think when all are together they offer something more unique for FE. Families of villains are a bit of a rarity in FE, especially ones whose family dynamic is well defined in the main story, and not supports. 

But with Bloom, Ishtar, and Ishtore, you get to fight all of them in a chapter thanks to the set up of the Genealogy of the Holy War. It allows for a more unique encounter and this growing feeling of outrage if you end up killing a member of the family.

House Friege continuing on as secondary antagonists in the second generation was a great addition. Giving this sense of history repeating itself, with Bloom seemingly no better than Reptor from the first generation, but where as he is a power hungry politician, Bloom shows some shades of gray in his detestment of Child Hunts and actually being a somewhat decent father figure to Tine. Which actually leads to some interesting contrast to his wife, Hilda.

Hilda is easily the most monstrous of the family, and while I was considering her to be her own separate entry, as she is possibly the most wicked and cruel female villains in the entire franchise. Driving Tailtiu to death, and using Ishtar as a step towards more power. Her additional role a matriarch of the household who married for Bloom’s money and power, adds an extra layer to the band of villains.

Ishtar and Ishtore also offer a role as both not being Child Hunt supporters but act in different ways to them. With Ishtore not getting involved and instead spending more time on Liza and Ishtar actually working with Arvis to free the children rounded up.

As a family unit, it offers a lot of unique villain interaction that I’m sad the limited technology of the time couldn’t capture all of. I’m glad that games like Fates have tried making family units as opponents, but I’d like to see a dynamic similarly fleshed out as the Frieges.

7. Jedah (Fire Emblem Gaiden/Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia)

Okay, how the hell did this guy so high up on the list? No joke, Jedah started at the bottom when I first started this list. I mean, he’s just another Gharnef. What makes him all that different from Nergal or Manfroy?

Well, truth be told, what got Jedah so high up for me is presentation. A lot of Gharnefs are the big game manipulators, and sometimes that can be frustrating if you’re not really in the character. I think Manfroy is one of the most effective villains, but he’s not particularly stand out. 

Nergal is a far more justifiable villain with his motivations, but he’s basically corrupted by “Darkness.”

Jadah, especially in FE15, oozes personality and charisma. I give a lot of points to his more inhuman design that went beyond just making his a wrinkly old man. As well as his expressions. When playing Three Houses, I was shocked at how stone-faced Thales was. But with Jedah, I feel like the artists took a lot of opportunity in giving him a face that could contort in such a way to to sell how much of a schemer and villain he was. 

He has this look of a guy you love to hate.

Also, in terms of story, Jedah really does eclipse Rudolf as a villain (Yes I know, Rudolf is not really a villain) and is easily a more proactive villain than even Berkut. While Jedah serves Duma faithfully, the purple baddie still seems to have done more as an antagonist then the detriorting dragon.

He’s really the most satisfying overarching villain next to Berkut. And power, don’t get me started. While Gharnef’s Imhullu seemed relatively foreshadowed on how he wouldn’t be beaten by normal means, the first time I fought Jedah, I was surprised just how much of a gap in power there was between us. As well as the terrors he summons for the first time are more lovecraftian than the other terrors you fought before.

While Jedah is definitely a fun villain, his greatest weakness is that he is unquestionably in the morally black category. The man sacrificed his own daughters to prove his loyalty. Before then, there was a bit of an argument to be made that witches were just a sign of society and that offering up your soul for more power was just common in a power focused structure. But sacrificing your daughters is a tad on the unforgivable side.

As well as his end goal is really just war and conquest, while being Duma’s number one servant. So ultimately, he’s not very complex. But that lack of complexity still added a chaotic edge to Echoes that was really welcomed.

6. Reinhardt (Fire Emblem: Thracia 776)

Now speaking of complexity here we get, who I consider the best of the Camus archetype. First off, I really like how Reinhardt is built up as the second coming of Crusader Thurd. Especially if you’ve played FE4 and know just how much of an obstacle Ishtar, Bloom and Ishtore were. 

Second is just how tragic his story is. I never really cared for the romance between Camus and Nyna, so at times I didn’t really care for his internal conflict. But the fact that Reinhardt has eyes for Ishtar to the point that Julius is feeling jealous and stripping him of his title. You also get the heartbreak of his sister, Olwen choosing to side against and how much denial he feels until Saias needs to point out how Olwen made this choice herself.

It’s just sad to see a guy who comes off as so imposing and level-headed have so much internal strife because his convictions of loyalty keep putting him on the wrong side of things. At times it feels like you can invest more into him than Lief, I really hope to see an expanse of him in a remake.

Reinhardt is not a character I enjoyed fighting because I wanted to see him be with the Liberation Army. He’s suffered from Julius’s pettiness. He knows how bad things have gotten with Grannvale’s expansion. Yet he just won’t because of his loyalty to his home. 

(I like to think that if you release him, he goes onto serve Tine and Arthur.)

Now, as I said, he still fits that Camus archetype. But unlike Camus or someone like Xander, I wish I had more of an expansion of his loyalty to Friege. I know he loves Ishtar and he probably has some ego built up about “second coming.” But if you’re not a fan of, “he did this out of love.” You’re probably not gonna like him. As a lot of the Camus archetype have always suffered from a, “why are you so loyal.”

People like Dedue and Catherine had the benefit of being playable characters, so you could support them and peel back a lot of their reasonings. And even Camus got more of a reason when he became Zeke and was saved and given a new life in Rigel.

So while Reinhardt makes for a great adversary, I do find him leaving me wanting more that other rival characters could give me.

5. Grima (Fire Emblem: Awakening)

(Note: I’m using masculine descriptors for Grima because I’m personally more used to male Grima and male Robin)

Here’s another baddie I wasn’t too sure where I was gonna put on the list. I knew I wanted him on here, but again, I wasn’t expecting Grima to be so high. He’s built up all throughout Awakening, as well as turning out to be reincarnated in the main character, Robin. Already does push him up on the list. But if you were to dissect his personality, he’s really just your godly final villain, who condescends down on you.

But there’s actually a lot more to this monster than you’d expect.

At first, I see a lot of similarities between him and Duma: Cult worshipers, really powerful dragon, catalyst for a war etc. But Duma as a villain is due to the dragon deterioration. Sure, he’s got bad followers, but losing his sanity kinda enabled them. But Grima… This guy wants to wipe out all life because he can.

Grima is much more a force of nature as a villain. He doesn’t try to dress up his simplistic desire with fancy philosophy. No, he embraces just how above everyone he is and how he’ll enjoy wiping them out. 

Not only that, but design-wise… Holy crap.

The sheer size and power of Grima, coupled with one of the most unique designs for a dragon, makes for a truly nightmarish foe. The boney, almost mechanical way Grima turns his head when ready to attack, just sends shivers down my spine. His size and pension for only wanting to destroy all life really gives off this sense of being an inevitability. A force that can not be stopped from washing over the world.   

It really works with the overall theme of Awakening. Robin trying to forge his own identity and is not tied down to fate. But how exactly can you fight that fate when its just so intimidating? Why with friends, of course! The final moments of Robin and Chrom slaying Grima is one of the most tragic things I’ve watched. With Robin knowing he needs to die to prevent Grima, but the only way to kill Grima is with a Falchion in the hands of Chrom. So Robin must be slain by his best friend, the one he’s gone through hell with and gave him a chance at making this new life for himself. It’s a final battle that breaks my heart.

Speaking of final battles, Grima offers one of the most unique environments for a final battle. Using that monstrous size to serve as a stage for your final fight against the Grimleal on the back of their god. Not to mention the priest warping in to keep bogging you down as you try to get off that killing blow on the Fell Dragon.

The background added by Shadows of Valentia about a young Grima actually being an alchemic monstrosity made to find a way to cheat death not only elevates Grima thematic impact, but also make him more like a lovecraftian horror. Which is something rare in this series. 

That said, the biggest fault in this character is hw sidelined he is. There’s nothing wrong with a simplistic villain, but even in Robin form, Grima really doesn’t take much part in the events. I would’ve liked more interactions with him and Chrom or Robin before the revival.

I also completely understand if someone doesn't care for the “kill all people in the world,” type of villain. What is the endgame after destroying everything? Guess make some zombies. 

I do argue that Grima being a force of nature makes him unique to the whole point of “what happens next?” But again, as a finally boss, I can see if that’s not your style. And while I think the simplicity is kinda beautiful, I myself have a preference for more complex villains.

4. The Black Knight (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance/Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn)

Hoo boy, I’m not gonna make any friends with this one.

How do I even talk about this guy properly? Mainly due to some narrative… Disconnects... between Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn. Well I’ll just try and keep with his outing in Path of Radiance.

Black Knight has easily some of the most thematic presence in the series. His anonymous name and sleek design make almost all of his cutscenes a treat. Just stepping onto the battlefield and killing Greil, with the only hint of who he is being that he was one of Greil’s former students already sets him up as an anomaly.

But something you notice quickly, Black Knight has chivalry. He offers to give Greil the legendary blade of Ragnell so they can have an even fight. Sure, Black Knight wants to kill his mentor to prove he has become better, but he’s not gonna do it unfairly. And he lets Ike keep Ragnell, so that he can truly grow as strong as Greil and then give him a true fight.

Speaking of Ragnell, I actually love how it and Black Knight’s Alondite blade are sister swords. Setting up for a rivalry that goes beyond just Ike getting revenge for his dad. It leads to a lot of interesting encounters over the course of the game, building up to a crescendo of when Ike will finally defeat the armored menace.  It honestly makes for a more compelling final brawl than Ashnard.

Also with Ashnard, we come back to that whole chivalry thing. Because while Ashnard displays himself as a “Mad King,” Black Knight still honorably serves him. In fact, while I’ve seen many people debate the true identity of Black Knight, I actually like the idea that he was just a student of Greil. He needs no true identity except being an embodiment of knightly principles and power.

For all the good and bad that entails.

Leading to great parallels between him and Ike. Ike being a mercenary whose principles differ so much from the Black Knight make him an ideal opponent for the Black Knight.

Now all that said, we need to get to the big but. The actual identity of the Black Knight being Zelgius raises a lot of questions and messes with the consistency of the story. I genuinely feel like it would be more powerful if Zelgius was his own character. While the ambiguity of the Black Knight added to his.

The best moment in Radiant Dawn for me is honestly his end, where he’s at least proud to have helped perfected Ike’s swordplay. But after that, I can’t exactly say he’s the same character. And that unfortunately keeps him from being any higher on the list.

3. Berkut (Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia)

Top 3, everyone! And we’re kicking it off with the Rigelean Prince, Berkut.

After coming off Fates, there was this really big cloud hanging over the FE fandom if they’d actually be able to recover from their dip in storytelling. And then Echoes came up with the game-exclusive addition of Berkut. 

Berkut really was a return to for with understandable villains. Having grown up being a noble of Rigel and as nephew of Rudolf next in line for the throne. In a society that prides itself on power, Berkut was only ever asked to be strong enough to ascend to that title of king.

And when you first see him dancing with Rinea, he really does seem invincible. Dancing in the conquered halls of Zofia Castle with his one true love as he does not need to take to the battlefield to assist in fighting the Deliverance. Only bothering to fight Alm as “sport.”

At first, he really just comes off as an arrogant Blue Blood that you wanna knock off his horse. But after he loses once and sees Alm’s brand, it just starts this downward spiral. Begging is uncle for one more chance, rejecting the help of Nuibaba’s mirror, only to use it out of fear that he might actually not be able to win against Alm.

Also, massive props to Ian Sinclair as Berkut’s english voice. As FE had started going fully dubbed, Sinclair brings such a performance as the deteriorating prince.

I like he even makes more dynamics with the Duma Faithful, believing that they’re supposed to serve his house and respect him, but Jedah counters that their real allegiance is to Duma. Tempting Berkut with his power. But Berkut himself even finds Duma’s strength disgusting.

When he finally falls after Rudolf naming Alm his true heir, so see just how low he’s fallen as he sacrifices Rinea to make his pact with Duma and use his new mystical enhancements to take out the Deliverance golden boy Alm, once and for all.

Berkut’s story is easily an ideal tragic character. Very powerful and smart, but flawed. His own fears motivating his actions as well as the constraints of his society and family pressure. Add on how he’s made that he will not marry Rinea until he becomes Emperor, as he feels that is only when he’s worthy enough, and this guy’s basically telegraphing the grave he’s about to dig himself.

No way can I undersell how much Berkut seemingly revived faith in writing for future FE antagonists as the series was still suffering from the… mixed reaction to Fates.

2. Edelgard von Hresvelg (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

God what have I not said about Edelgard? Well if you want to read more comprehensive stuff I’ve written about her, you can find it here.

But in short, Edelgard was a phenomenal twist character. Built up slowly over the course of the game and the fact someone as high as a lord would secretly be planning to destroy the church was a shock. 

Her role as the most intellectual of the three house leaders, motivated by logic and pragmatism offered a unique opposition to the over emotional Dimitri. Her being the product of crest experimentation and the second wielder of the crest of flames makes for a pretty powerful backstory. Not to mention being one of the few lords whose political system we fully get to see realize. With the multiple ministers having robbed power from her family.

Her relationship with Dimitri is also one of the sweetest villain backstories. You see the two actually sit down and try to end this and you know it’s probably only because of their shared past. The oath of the dagger of how they both have made their own paths that veer off in different directions is the first signs of turmoil that El has felt ever since her declaration of war.

And then there’s her final fight. I don’t think I have felt a more satisfying final battle than with Hagemon Husk Edelgard. The long throne room crawl as guards and monsters poured in to try and stand in your way. All whlie Edelgard tries to snipe at you from a distance with her new fireball technique. 

Also if were giving points to acting, Tara Platt brings a great performance as both Edelgard and the Flame Emperor.

Now like Black Knight, the biggest flaw is a lot of minute nitpicks that really add up over the multiple routes. The Black Eagle route even seems to do away with a lot of Edelgards ambiguity. But if you stick to BL and GD Edelgard, you have one of the best antagonists in the series. Leaving me excited what FE17 has in store.

1. Arvis (Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War)

Yeah, you all knew this one was coming. The OG Flame Emperor himself, Arvis.

So for those who don’t know, Arvis was basically Edelgard before Edelgard. Having watched corrupt nobles run Grannvale for a time as well as grown up under the self destructive Duke Victor, Arvis had intended to make Grannvale a more fair world. Free of prejudice and pain.

Use the feuding lords to his advantage to claim land and renown, Arvis also stayed by the current King of Grannvale, Azmur. Earning him some brownie points. Arvis’s alliance with Manfroy and the Lopto Sect ultimately leads to him getting his chance at the throne. With Manfroy finding the long lost granddaughter (and wife of Sigurd) Deirdre,  wiping her memory clean and “conveniently” leaving her for Arvis to find and fall in love with. 

By marrying and impregnating the newly found prince, Arvis was named Emperor Regent by Azmur till their child came of age. However, to unilaterally have Grannvale under his control, he had to take out Sigurd in one of the most heartbreaking scenes in the history of FE, The Belhalla Massacre.

At first Arvis seems like this manipulative puppet master with delusions of conquest, but the more you learn about him and the environment he came from. Arvis truly wants to make a better and more fair world. And unlike someone like Zephiel, he doesn’t think that means wipe out all humans. You see that he doesn’t even hold contempt for Sigurd, more indifference as he regrets that Sigurd would not be able to see Arvis’s new world.

But with his ultimate tragedy being that faustian deal he cut with Manfroy ultimately led to the birth of Julius. Who, with the Major Loptous blood, would go on to not only be Loptous’ vessel, but also wrestle away power from Arvis. The tragic irony of what secured his hold on the throne being what ultimately makes him lose it. Add on some more angst as he realizes that Deirdre is actually his half sister and that Manfroy’s intention was for them to bear a child like Julius, you have easily one of the most tragic tales in FE.

We also see more of the dynamics of Arvis in the Seliph book of FE4. Actually trying to save all the children taken by Julius with Ishtar. As well as his love for his own children, Julius and Julia, going out of his way to save Julius and finally face his reckoning against Seliph.

His battle is brutal, as after what he did to Sigurd, you want to beat down Arvis with Seliph. You want nothing more but to his rule. But as you’ve gone on, you see just how much of person Arvis is. And while you want Seliph to get his vengeance, it doesn’t make the fight any easier as you are left to wonder what things would be like if Arvis was Emperor without Manfroy using Julius.

 His final words to Seliph just echo in your head, making you wish there was a better way this could’ve turned out.

If there is one negative I could say about Arvis, its the fact he basically monopolizes the story for his own. His actions basically pushing so much of the narrative he eclipses Sigurd. But honestly, if we got a remake with more time devoted to character interaction in Sigurd’s army, I think it would balance out nicely.

Welp, that’s my Top 10 FE antagonists. Let me know if you agree or disagree. And if this gets enough hits, I might do similar posts in the future. Till next time, take care!

[ghostwriter00797]

I just binged all of the episodes of Mega-Man: Fully Charged that are out (40 on the Cartoon Network website) in one day. I have some thoughts to get out of my head.

Is it neat? No. Does it make sense? Probably not, but I’m inflicting it upon this small fandom anyway.

((Since I’m getting thoughts out about many different parts of the series there are spoilers underneath the cut.))

Thoughts about the overall series:

I’ll admit it, the series starts out a little formulaic. The early episodes are kind of repetitive, but it did get better. In my opinion, it really improves at episode 18 with the introduction of Wood Man. Not only is it the first time (I think) that Aki/Mega Man is visibly injured by his opponent, it is the first time, in my opinion, that the battle and its potential outcomes had weight to them. Everything after that seems to carry some of that weight as well.

It is a show targeted at young boys, so it’s not going to be super dark or mature, but the action sequences are pretty cool. The jokes are pretty funny too, and the ‘voom’ sound that Aki/Mega Man makes when he jumps is nice to hear.

I really like the emphasis that is placed on ending conflict peacefully/violence as a last resort as well as therapy and second chances for the misguided robots who regularly fight Aki/Mega Man. Like Fire Man! He mentions his anger management therapist, breathing exercises, going to a happy place, etc. in order to deal with his extreme temper. He’s still a villain due to his beliefs that humans are inferior and the fact that he is loyal to Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian, but he is actively trying to manage his anger. It’s a good message.

I also enjoy how Aki/Mega Man’s schematic copying works. Yes, he can use his rogues’ powers against them, but he has to deal with the negative personality traits he gains from them as well. He isn’t infallible.

I really like Mega Mini. I find him hilarious and he’s given me a lot to think about. Which leads me to...

Speculations about Aki/Mega Man’s powers:

How did he get them?

The series hasn’t shown us how Aki/Mega Man got his powers, and by extension Mega Mini. 

Doctor Light doesn’t seem to know that Aki is Mega Man, which doesn’t make sense. He built Aki, so he should have known that his son had combat capabilities. This raises the question: Did Aki always have the capability to become Mega Man?

If he did, then that could mean a few things: 

One, Dr. Light knows and is waiting for Aki to tell him on his own terms. Perhaps he built Aki’s frame during the near end of the Hard Age war to use as a double agent, but didn’t get the chance to activate him because the war ended soon after he was finished. Not much later he had Suna, his wife passed or left him, and he wanted her to have a sibling when she was older. He revisited Aki’s frame in his lab and built a more normal looking system over it, keeping the combat capabilities out of a sense of paranoia and programming them to only emerge if Suna was in extreme danger. When Suna turned ten he activated Aki, gave her a sibling that could protect her, and honestly forgot about the combat functions as the kids grew older. Until he saw Mega Man for the first time.

or

Two, Dr. Light legitimately doesn’t know. He didn’t build Aki with combat capabilities at all, choosing to make him as close to a human being as possible. Which raises another question.

If Dr. Light didn’t build him with combat capabilities, who did/who gave them to him?

Aki seems to be built and programmed as close to a human child as possible, meaning that it’s highly unlikely he modified his own body that drastically. His dad didn’t do it, so that leaves two options. Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian or some other mysterious benefactor.

If it was Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian, it could make sense. He seems to resent Dr. Light somewhat, and given that he was able to overhaul Chauncey into a combat machine it wouldn’t be out of the question for him to be able to do the same to Aki. He also seems incredibly invested in Aki/Mega Man, wanting the boy to join his cause. He could have kidnapped Aki, modified him and improved upon Namagem’s design, and then wiped his memory of the event and sent him back. Quite possibly as an act of spite to Dr. Light and his ideals if he could corrupt Aki/Mega Man without mental tampering.

If it was another, mysterious benefactor, then it could be someone working against Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian who needed the city to have a noble hero. Who approached Aki and asked him, got his permission, and disappeared once everything was done.

Why Mega Mini?

Mega Mini is particularly intriguing to me. Why is he there? Is he meant as a fail safe? As a mentor? Simply someone to repair Aki/Mega Man and keep him in fighting shape? He seems to be able to control everything relating to Mega Man, with or without Aki’s input, so how far does that control reach? Would it be possible for him to take full control of Aki’s body? Or is he limited to only giving advice and being unable to really refuse any of Aki’s orders? Not a lot of answers here, but it sure is something to think about.

Why does he pick up personality traits with the schematics?

Could it possibly be another kind of failsafe? He has the one that limits him to having only three schematics on board, and we’ve seen the consequences of not having that. Perhaps it’s a purposeful flaw in order to keep Aki/Mega Man grounded to reality and humbled. Those moments where he loses control are a challenge, something that he has to overcome to grow as a person and as a hero, and a way to understand the robots he fights.

Is he based off of Namagem?

They share a lot of things. Their seeming mental age, the busters, the power replication, etc. It’s mentioned to Aki/Mega Man more than once that Namagem is his reflection. Namagem doesn’t have the safety mechanisms that Aki has in place, and is seemingly more unhinged for it. Regardless of who gave Aki his powers, it is entirely possible that Namagem was the prototype. The first one that Aki’s powers were modeled off of. And is Namagem aware of this? Not only are the two of them foils, their family seems to be as well. The relationship between Dr. Light, Aki/Mega Man, and Suna is the antithesis of the one between Namagem and Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian. This leads me to what I created this post for in the first place...

Speculations on the relationship between Namagem and Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian:

This one... makes me extremely uncomfortable. 

The first time we see Namagem is during the end of the Lightfall two-parter. He comes to get Lord Obsidian away from Aki/Mega Man after the man’s plan has backfired. He is shown supporting Lord Obsidian as they return to their base with the other villains of the show, and refers to him as Father. He seems obedient, dedicated, a generally perfect dragon to Lord Obsidian’s big bad. That doesn’t last long.

The next few times we see Namagem he is disobeying orders, going out to fight Aki/Mega Man despite being repeatedly told not to. He clashes with Sgt. Night’s strategy of waiting for the right time, preferring to charge in and let his fists do the talking. He’s essentially a brash, rebellious teenager who thinks he knows best. He’s Aki/Mega Man’s foil. They’re alike in that way, though Namagem takes it to the extreme. He’s what Aki could have been if he didn’t have his failsafes, Mini Mega, or a supportive family.

Sgt. Night is harsh with Namagem in the same way he’s harsh to the other villains who follow him. He puts them down verbally, calls them useless and generally degrades them. This alone isn’t what puts me into uncomfy territory though. That came with episode 31, “Big Bad Dreams.”

In the dreamscape, Aki/Mega Man finally fights back using Hypno Woman’s powers to force Namagem to see what he fears most. Aki/Mega Man is unable to see what Namagem is terrified of, but we the audience do: Lord Obsidian’s reflection on the windows of a building, massive and looming over Namagem. And what does Namagem do as he sees this? Cries out, flinches, and holds his hands above his face/head like he’s preparing to take a hit. Aki/Mega Man throws him from the dreamscape soon after.

When Namagem comes out of the dreamscape and tells Sgt. Night what happened, he’s belligerent in the face of the man’s remarks, getting up in his personal space and generally being angry. This changes as Sgt. Night walks away. The second he transforms into Lord Obsidian Namagem’s entire demeanor changes. The man is walking away from him but he flinches, cries out, shakes, curls over and in on himself. He seems absolutely terrified.

I know that this is a children’s show, maybe I’m thinking too dark, but those moments are sticking in my brain. I want to know: 

What in the holy hell happened to make Namagem so afraid of Lord Obsidian (not Sgt. Night, but Lord Obsidian) specifically?

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball 059

Mercenary F’N Tao!   Even Commander Red is polite to this guy, because he knows better.   Tao briefly explains that he charges a high price for his services.  100 million zeni per assassination.   But, since it’s his 20th anniversary as a professional killer, he’s doing a sale, so it’s only 50 million a kill right now.   Black wonders if this is the real Mercenary Tao, but he isn’t so curious as to find out the hard way.

While these guys talk business, General Blue arrives to bring the Dragon Radar he captured from Goku.   It’s a big deal for the Red Ribbon Army.   Their own Dragon Radar isn’t portable, and it can’t pinpoint the Dragon Balls with the same precision as Bulma’s design, which is why they’ve needed so much time and manpower to locate them so far.   Even so, General Blue had an entire company of soldiers and equipment, and he lost all of it just to bring back this one prize.  

Commander Red isn’t impressed, since the mission was to recover Dragon Balls, not the radar.   However, in light of General Blue’s service, he offers him a second chance... if he can defeat Mercenary Tao in a fight.   Blue accepts, though he really has no choice.   He can either die to Tao or die to the same goons who executed Colonel Silver a while back.  

And hey, maybe General Blue has good reason to be confident.   He couldn’t beat Goku, but Goku never really beat him either.   He took everything Goku could throw at him, and he kept on coming.   Maybe he could beat Tao, in spite of his fearsome reputation.

Back in the Land of Korin, Bora explains the significance of Korin Tower.  Legend has it that a hermit sits at the top of the tower, and if a person manages to climb all the way to the top, the hermit will give that person a drink of holy water, which will magnify his strength.   Bora tried climbing the tower many years ago, but he couldn’t reach the top.   Upa heard a story that one person made it up there a long time ago, but that’s about it, and no one even knows if that story is true or not.  

For that matter, Bora admits that the story about the hermit and the Sacred Water may be a myth as well.   This is kind of an important insight into Bora’s character.   He guards the land because of his sense of duty and piety.   For him, it’s the right thing to do, and it doesn’t matter whether there’s actually a guy at the top of the tower or not.   It’s not like that guy needs protection anyway, since no one can reach him to begin with.   Bora’s a man of great faith, but he’s also very sensible.

Back at RRHQ, Blue and Tao are about to square off.  Blue offers to let Tao use weapons, but Tao declares that he won’t even uses his hands or feet.   No, he’ll end this with only his tongue.    Holy shit this arc rules so much.   This is insane.

Starting out, Blue can’t even lay a hand on Tao, and that’s pretty demoralizing, but Blue still has his trump card.   He locks eyes with Tao, and uses his psychic powers to paralyze him.   Well, that’s the ballgame right there.  There’s no way Blue can lose, right?

Wrong.   Tao just stands perfectly still, then shrugs off the effect of Blue’s power like it was nothing.   I don’t know if Tao is simply immune to Blue’s telekinesis, or if he somehow overpowered it with a ki technique, or maybe the idea here is that Tao is so strong that he can still move even when Blue’s psychic attack is in full effect.

Needless to say, Blue is terrified by this.  He’s already tried fighting Tao hand-to-hand, so we know he can’t beat Tao without the psychic power, so he’s screwed.   Desperate, he charges right after Tao and hopes for the best...

And then Tao sidesteps him and pokes his tongue into his temple. 

Holy fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccck.

Holy shittttttttttttttttt this is nuts.   There’s gorier battle damage in this show, but for my money, that dent on the side of Blue’s head is one of the grossest injuries I’ve seen in this cartoon.   The discoloration really makes it clear that Tao hit him pretty hard, and at the same time what the hell did he do to him? Blue drops dead immediately.   It’s like Tao did some sort of pressure point thing, or he hit him so hard that he liquefied his brain, or... dammit I have no idea.  

And Blue was a major player.   If there was a stronger guy in the Red Ribbon Army, they never showed him.   His rope trick nearly killed Goku, Master Roshi, and Krillin in one stroke.   Tao took General Blue down in one hit, and he delivered it with his tongue. 

Oh, and by the way, Commander Red owes Tao 50 million for that work.  He made that clear up front, but Red agreed because he wanted to see Tao’s skills firsthand. 

Red and Black brief Tao on his actual mission.   He’s to go to the Land of Korin, kill Goku, and recover the Dragon Balls.  Also, he’s to kill anyone else who gets in his way.   Tao promises to prepare a thorough invoice for his work.   What does Tao even need all this money for, anyway?   Black shows him the Dragon Ball they have on hand, so Tao will know what he’s looking for.   

Black also offers to take Tao to a Red Ribbon jet, but Tao refuses, as this would take too long.  Instead he simply chops a pillar away from the buildng and chucks it into the air, then leaps on top of it, so he can ride the pillar to his destinaton.   He promises Red that he’ll be back in thirty minutes.   Holy shit...

This guy is off the charts.   What am I even watching?

A few minutes later, Tao arrives in Korin and announces his intention to kill Goku for the Red Ribbon Army.   Bora insists on fighting Tao himself, as he is the guardian of the land, and he owes Goku for saving his son earlier.   But Tao grabs his spear with one hand and physically dominates him.   Bora’s a strong dude himself, but he’s nothing compared to Tao.  

Tao just tosses Bora into the air, and kills him with his own spear.  

THIS IS ALL ONE EPISODE.   WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?   FUCK.

So now Goku’s pissed and he’s gonna fight Tao.   Uh... yeah, good luck with that.