#who the fuck do you think creates the shows y'all love to watch or the books you like to read

[rei-ismyname]

Merry X-Men Holiday Special Highlights

Happy holidays, everyone! It's been about a year since I started posting about the X-Men on Tumblr and if it wasn't for all the lovely folks who engage and discuss it wouldn't be so enriching. I'm super anti-capitalist and anti cultural Christianity so it's less 'Happy Christmas' and more 'I wish y'all the best.' ❤️💚

I wonder if Lockheed speaks Hebrew

Here's Kitty Pryde celebrating Chanukah in Genosha and remembering her father. Leading the special with an explicitly Jewish character observing a Jewish holiday is great, but the notion of saving the world by becoming president of the USA is a dubious one. The USA is an imperialist entity built on deep seated systemic inequality and worse. Even the most progressive of presidents is beholden to that. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try, but Kitty is kidding herself about 'saving the world the right way.'

Nature Girl hates Christmas, and it's hard to argue with her reasons. The parts about warmth are weird to me because I live in Australia where Christmas is always hot AF. One of the few days I hope for rain, tbh.

I'm not sure if Bobby quite understood what 'eschewing capitalism' means but this looks pretty fun. That tie dye X-Men tee slaps and I want one. I wonder what Kubark thinks of this human holiday.

This story with Magneto coming around on the pointlessness of lighting menorahs does the rounds every now and then, though not as much as I'd expect. The kids are particularly plucky and eloquent, and the one who emphatically tells Magneto he's wrong is a legend. I'm fond of any story where Magneto rethinks his beliefs, and this is a nice one.

It took me a while to notice that this is written by Charlamagne tha God, possibly because it's kinda funny to imagine Ororo knowing who that is. Idk why, I've just never seen any stories indicating that she's into Hip Hop culture. I like that it's a rejection of turning the other cheek where bigoted assholes are concerned. You can't reach some people, and there's no obligation to exhaust yourself trying. Fuck em. The Michelle Obama mention is a bit on the nose.

Old man Logan is cutting firewood and being gruff, as he does. Kurt gives him a picture of himself, which is a baller move. I was under the impression that this Logan was an alternate reality Logan, and doesn't have a particularly close relationship with these X-Men. Nothing about Logans makes sense, sometimes you just have to accept it as cute and cool.

Glob does stuff! Is that meant to be mistletoe? We don't have it down here. He nails up some plant matter and then chills by himself. Little bit depressing, but I can't talk.

Bobby Drake has a party! Interestingly neither Jewish nor Christian, but a pagan holiday that's become a bit more popular (like Christmas and Easter.) Hope is watching Cable do... something, in a recorded message from when she was the universe's most unpopular baby.

Some kids are sharing the rumour that Magneto merked Santa, which is hilarious. It's obviously untrue, not least because Santa is Mags' mutant brother. Kurt lectures them.

Jubilee beats up Arcade (yay!) and quotes Home Alone, rescuing Shogo (who's spending this Christmas as a dragon in Otherworld.) I really don't like Arcade, though he has done two excellent things. Torturing Sinister and creating the Proletarian - worker's hero of the Soviet Union.

Nightcrawler and Storm show up and Christmas is really just a backdrop for a light anti-capitalist tale. Cool! I'd expect Cyclops to be in this book, but no. It's Chuck-less as well.

[luckycharming]

Not trying to be messy or bitchy on main, but why don't y'all review fanfics anymore? Why don't y'all comment on the stories y'all have read and liked? Like, deadass, as a writer/creator myself, if I slave away and put my whole ass pussy into creating and crafting these really good stories, and nobody reviews them, what's my incentive to keep creating?

And I've heard it be said thousands of times that you should do it for fun! You should do it because blah blah blah! And I get it! I really! It's not good to create solely because of x, y, and z and that's valid, but! I'm also doing this shit for free. Like, fanfic authors bust their asses writing for free. This is a free consumption, and I'm just saying, if you like or love the stories written, why can't y'all let it be known? Why can't y'all comment and review it? It literally doesn't take even a third of the effort it took the writers themselves to write the damn shit.

I remember when I first got into fanfiction and I was in awe, okay? There were so many wonderful stories and authors and you bet your right testicle I made sure I left reviews. Hell, I would even PM them and let them know that hey, I really loved that fic you wrote! This is what it meant to me and thank you so much for not only writing it, but being brave enough to share it with the world because regardless of the ship/fandom/etc., that takes guts!

And y'all won't even do the bare minimum. And then have the nerve to wonder why the quality of writing is shit or why people are leaving the fandom spaces. It makes no sense that stories that are so horribly written and out of character have hundreds, if not thousands of reviews, but the actual good shit barely has fifty, and that's me being generous.

I'm just tired of putting all this effort into shit that I'm not getting anything back from because it's not enough to love what you do. Like, why is it bad that I want people to leave long or nice comments on my work? Why is that me being greedy to want some positive engagement on my content? Or unless I write for popular ships, people won't read my shit? Which isn't bad, because if I like a ship, regardless of if it's popular or canon or so on and so forth, I'm gonna ship it, but still.

And not even that's a guarantee that people will read it, and I don't like don't gimmicky shit. I don't like feeling like I have to dim the quality of my work to get people to fuck with my shit, and it's not me being insecure in my writing because I'm a damn good writer. I know what I bring to the fucking table, but how are we supposed to keep the fandom spaces alive if nobody's engaging with shit anymore?

[p1utofairy]

★ how will people feel about you going public with your fp?

NOTE: for entertainment purposes only. take what resonates & leave what doesn't. ⭐️ i always appreciate the feedback so don't be shy. MWAH. enjoy!

PILE 1.

i feel like this relationship is going to cause quite a stir, pile 1. the energy is giving “that should be me!” lmao some people are really going to be mad as fuck. your person is going to treat you like an absolute queen and i’m hearing people scoff like “UGH!” which is crazy cause you might not even know these people, but y’alls relationship evokes this energy out of them. you (or possibly your fp) might have a narcissistic ex lurking in the shadows who constantly watches your social media & keeps tabs on y’alls relationship. it’s really weird, EW. they feel like they didn’t have you the way your person does, and it makes them really fucking jealous – it’s honestly absurd.

they fumbled you and they’re really going to regret it!especially because of how well your fp treats you & prioritizes your relationship. this ex has a BIG ass ego like the way they make everything about themselves is insane?! this person could be a fire sign – i’m picking up on some leo energy. they’re in disbelief that you moved on from them, and found someone wayyyy better that fulfills you in so many ways that they couldn’t possibly measure up to. they might create fake pages or reach out to you repeatedly trying to win you back over…it’s shameful honestly. from the outside looking in, your relationship with your fp is going to look so lowkey + private yet so warm + stable. you or your fp could have scorpio/taurus placements, but i just feel like neither of you are the type to post every single thing you do together on social media but people will know that’s YOUR FP, YOUR FP, YOUR FP! like don’t play!

y’all will make it very known that y’all are a couple, but people will not be all up in the mix because y'all simply don’t want them to be. they’ll see little hints and clues that you’re off the market, but this relationship is for you two, not everyone else. i can see you both posting things like holding hands, dinner dates, taking long walks together, an off guard while one of you is doing something, etc. just cute moments that only show a small glimpse of the immense love you two share on a day to day basis.

PILE 2.

were you split between choosing this pile and pile 1 lol? if so, check out pile 1 as well! there might be some messages in there for you too. now anyways, i’m ngl this is giving me single era vibes. you might have options and even if you don’t…you’re like “is any person really worth going public with?” LOL i get it, i really do. you’re very cautious and want to make sure that you’re not wasting your time on a relationship that you know might not last in the long run – you’d rather save yourself the embarrassment.

if you went public with someone…that means you really are committed like they REALLYYYYY won you over because you don’t pop out with just anybody! it takes a lot of effort to keep your attention, let alone gain your trust to be in a public relationship. i actually think your content with being by yourself right now. of course, you want a partner who can provide you with the best and also be loyal and committed to you.

however, you're willing to wait for that one person instead of wasting your time on others who don't meet those standards. OOOOO did some of my fellow saturnians choose this pile? this energy is amazing like seriously i’m so proud of you! you’re doing the inner work and it’s genuinely going to pay off in the long run. you’re cultivating your own happiness and building up your self-confidence. because of that, you’re going to attract a like-minded partner. you will have your desired reality, pile 2! you don’t live your life based on society’s standards and expectations. you’re on a different vibration and are attracting love, prosperity and abundance towards yourself effortlessly because you refuse to settle for less and put yourself in a box.

i know this reading is about how people will feel about you going public with you fp, but you genuinely don’t give a fuck what people think lol. people won’t even be able to form a proper opinion, because you are genuinely on a different level. i randomly just heard that one nicki minaj video when she’s like “BROKE PPL SHOULD NEVER LAUGH!” lmfaooooo i’m sorry but yeah! once you get everything you always said you would, including your fp, people are gonna be real silent no shade.

PILE 3

um pile 3 why is this energy a bit messyyyy, hold awn?! your relationship with your future partner might be different from what you perceive, or at least that’s how the public views it. take that with a grain of salt, but i feel like this relationship is going to have its ups and downs and it’s going to reflect on y’alls social medias.

you or your future partner might be the type to get emotional and act out by reposting different quotes on your IG story or tiktoks that relate to your situation, might even go as far as posting cryptic messages to allude that you two are on the outs. you and your fp know how to push each other’s buttons, and it honestly can get petty between you both. someone is not fully healed from their previous relationship in this connection & the unresolved baggage is carrying over into this one. idk, pile 3. for some of you this could be a karmic relationship and for others of you this could be baggage on your end that you need to work through in order for you to be in a stable relationship.

there seems to be a lot of wishy-washy energy, and people might perceive your relationship as having a 'one minute they're together, the next minute they're not' type of vibe. also, i’m picking up on a third-party situation where either you or your partner is keeping someone on the back burner without completely closing the door.

honestly, people might be amused by this and say things like, 'OMG, go check [Y/N]’s IG story and go see what [Y/FP] posted,' which only fuels the mind games being played. ultimately, i think this relationship will teach you about healthy boundaries and what you are and aren’t willing to tolerate, especially in public. it’s messy because this third party keeps interfering and amplifying the situation to make it worse. the ball is ultimately in your court, pile 3. you’ll know what to do.

[retroellie]

The Other Woman

Summary: After seeing Lila kiss spencer in the pool, all reason leaves your body and creates a jealous mess inside your head. You can thing of only one way to dull the ache of jealousy.

A/N: This lowkey sucks but it's whatever :) I'm so unmotivated and my writers block is terrible omfg. I hope y'all enjoy though <3

Warnings: NSFW, cheating(ish), L*la, Mommy kink, face sitting, unprotected sex, unexperienced spencer, normal Criminal Minds stuff

Word count: 7.6K

Of course, you knew you were acting like a teenage girl, the petty silent treatment was straight of a high school romance. Reid was just trying to do his job, he was told to do something, and he did it. So, you shouldn't be angry. He was trying to prevent another victim; he was trying to protect Lila. Fucking Lila. If it were anyone else, then maybe you would just be able to forget it, but it wasn't someone else. It was her. It was hot blonde, breakout movie star Lila. Her and her perfect body, pretty face, long legs, her beautiful smile, and her money. She was everything a man could want, so what stopped Reid from wanting it too?

It made you uncomfortable in the first place, him being the one to stay with her. You asked Gideon if maybe Elle could do it or even Hotch, but he said since Lila and Spencer were somewhat friends, it would make her more comfortable. But what about you? What about your comfort? You decided to leave your pettiness out of your work, keep your jealousy to yourself, and catch the stalker so you could get out of here, go back to your stupid life with Reid.

You were already feeling sick enough about the entire thing, she could steal Reid from you in a heartbeat and all you could do was let her... But seeing him in the pool with her, her only in a bathing suit and him soaking wet. It played with your heartstrings, wondering everything that could've happened. Spencer couldn't look you in the eye, even after you asked him if he was okay. He just let out a small hum, looking down at his gun while he tried to dry it off. You knew something had happened; did you even want to know? You asked yourself.

You had no choice since Morgan shoved the camera in your face. The pictures of Lila and Spencer, her lips on his. 'Of course, she looked pretty when she hungrily made out with someone' you thought, rolling your eyes mentally. Spencer just watched your face, as it contorted into an unknown expression to him. He was a profiler, yet he could never read you...you were completely foreign to him. It intrigued him when he first met you, it frustrated him. Spencer Reid was a genius, he knew everything. So, him not knowing your brain frustrated him. That's exactly why he fell in love with you, he had to work to understand you and he ended up falling in love with you trying to figure you out.

Spencer opened his mouth to explain himself, but you dismissed it by explaining how you didn't think that the man who took the photos was the unsub. You explain how "he was too cocky and too visible; the unsub would have been more careful than the trespassing paparazzi." You did have a new lead however and you didn't hesitate before you ran off to go follow it. You just wanted to get away from Spencer, you needed to be away from him. You should have heard him out, you would've heard him out but as said before... It was Lila. Girls like her always got what they wanted; they didn't even have to fight for it either. So, you knew how this went, Spencer would leave you for her and you would have to work with him for the rest of your life knowing... you allowed him to be stolen.

You eventually caught the unsub, well Spencer did. It was one of Lila's friends, Maggie. She was desperately in love with Lila but Lila wasn't in love with her back, she killed her victims to show her love for Lila. You somehow understood how she felt as fucked up as it sounds. You understand why people kill for the people they love, how they would do anything just for the person they love. You could see yourself doing that for Spencer, it scared you of what you were willing to do for him. After Maggie had been caught, Hotch told the team to meet back at the local police departments to make their reports. However, you headed back to the hotel, stating that you had fallen sick to Hotch. Obviously hotch knew, he wasn't stupid and he didn't need to be a profiler to know what you were feeling. You were hurt.

So here you are now, in your hotel room... alone. You were writing your reports for other cases, completely neglecting the Lila case. In the state you were in, you couldn't even think of a blonde woman without the heartbreak sensation creeping up again. You hoped to do other cases, the most gruesome cases... The cases with blood and guts would help make that feeling go away or at least dissolve the lump in your throat. You felt like you were 16 again, watching as your prom date went into the bathroom with the popular girl. Your stomach sank as you saw him holding onto her hand, leading him into the biggest stall... all you could do was watch. You suddenly felt every stitch of your dress, all your organs working together, every light molecule on your skin. It was hell.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a knock at your door, your heart dropping as it did. You would think of years of profiling psychopaths, you would be able to handle a knock at the door. For some reason that knock was the scariest thing to you. You sighed softly, putting the paperwork that was sprawled out on the hotel bed to the side and throwing yourself over the side of the bed. You walked to the door, the cold air of the hotel room making you shiver. Your hand touched the cold doorknob, pulling the door open and seeing a figure. Your eyes adjusted and soon you were met with his brown ones.

"Hi..." He said, giving you a soft smile.

"Hi." You said coldly.

It was an awkward encounter for sure, something that happens often but it's more comfortable than this. As of now, all you could think about was Spencer's face smashed up against hers. You were now hyper-aware of everything around you, feeling as though you could hear the colors making up the room. Spencer just stood there, hands in his pockets and giving you that strange grin.

"You weren't at the police station... Hotch told me you were feeling sick." He started, trying to pick up a conversation but for the first time since you met Spencer Reid... he was at a loss for words.

You nodded, confirming Hotch's statement. You could tell what he wanted to ask, so desperately. You were a profiler, you could tell by his fidgeting hand, his eye twitch, the way he couldn't make eye contact with you for more than 4 seconds... He was holding himself back. Spencer knew he did wrong, very wrong. Not only with you but professionally. You're not supposed to kiss a civilian you are told to keep watch on as a federal agent. It's inappropriate and wrong... but Reid could care less about that fact, the kiss meant nothing to him. He was more worried about you. You hadn't talked to him since you saw him in the pool with Lila, you didn't tell him you were going back to the hotel, you didn't even kiss him goodbye before you left Lilas. You bit your lip softly, playing with the flesh as you looked down at your feet.

"Uh yeah..." You started, looking back up at him. "Must have eaten something bad or something..."

Spencer didn't believe you, not for a second. He was never good with social cues but at this moment, he could read the situation better than anyone. However, Spencer has never been in a relationship before... you were his first everything. He'd never been exposed to the petty drama that comes with having a girlfriend, so he wasn't too sure how to go with this conversation. He knew he did wrong, but how does he go about communicating that with you? He doesn't want to make it seem like you're overreacting or you are stupid for being mad... damn, maybe he's overthinking it now. If Spencer Reid is good at anything though, it's statistics.

"You know..." He starts, about to go on one of his Reid rants. "Statistically, 58% of the time people don't actually have anything wrong with their stomach. Mostly it's more psychological than it is physical. Mostly caused by anxiety, guilt or anger."

You were used to these Reid rants at this point. Being with Spencer Reid for 2 years and knowing him for even longer, you have a lot of useless information in your brain that he has nonconsensually given you. You let that information sink into the part of your brain that you will most likely not return to, not even going to attempt to comprehend what number he had just given you. Your face automatically contorted itself into a look that said "Please shut up, leave me alone, and never perceive me again.".

"You think I'm lying?" You ask, not sure whether you're actually offended or it's because you can't get the picture of her kissing him out of your head.

It wasn't Spencer's intention to make you upset, no... that's not why he came here. He just knew that it was deeper than a stomach ache, he knew that your mind was going wild with possibilities and him knowing you, he knew you wouldn't say anything about it. Spencer knew why you did the work you did, he knew you couldn't solve your own problems so you decided to solve others. That's why Spencer didn't wait for you to come to him because he knew you never would. Spencer shook his head eagerly.

"No! no... of course not." He blurted out, looking everywhere but your eyes. "I'm just saying that i think the stomach ache your feeling isn't really a stomach ache... maybe it has something to do with the thing that happened with me and Lila."

The sound of her name sliding off his tongue sounded so frictionless... so effortless. It made you wonder if your name sounded the same, suddenly you forgot what your name sounded like coming out of his mouth. You shook that feeling off real quick, hoping if you pushed it down far enough it would simply go away. You weren't stupid though, you knew what pushing things down would do. It would turn you into something not human, or maybe something that is between a human and something else... it would turn you into Maggie or maybe even the hundreds of people you catch a year. It's funny how you can figure out another person's shit so fast, yet you are still wondering what your shit even is.

You sigh softly, rolling your eyes as you step away from the door and making your way to the small hotel "kitchen". The only thing the kitchen was good for was making coffee or tea, something that you have been living on for the past couple of years. You've found yourself purposely making it bad, the BAU will ruin you like that. You poured yourself some coffee, hearing Spencer walk in and shut the door behind him.

"Or maybe I just have a stomach ache." You say softly, putting the coffee pot back and then pouring pounds of sugar into your coffee. "Besides, it doesn't really matter anymore. The unsub was caught, Lilas safe... we did our job."

Spencer bites his lip nervously, watching you bring your coffee up to your lips and take a swig. As said before, Spencer isn't good with relationships or girls... or really anything that isn't statistics and books, so he isn't sure how to tell you that he is worried about you. He likes you, he'd probably go as far as to say he loves you and he doesn't want this to end. He knows that this will not end well, that your bottled-up emotions will be the end of your relationship. Spencer notices all the case reports scattered over your bed, seeing how you haven't even started on the most recent one... lilas.

"I read in one of my books about human relationships that most relationships end due to no com..." He starts, being interrupted by your tired, jealous self.

"Please, Spencer! enough with the statistics..." You spit, almost yelling... something you've never done to read. You turn to face him, coffee cup still in your hand, burning your skin. "Just spit out what you're trying to say to me."

Spencer gulps slightly, seeing how angry you've already become and you've only bottled this much hatred for less than a day. He knows you don't mean to yell, he knows it. He knows this job does this to a person, makes them angry... messes with their head until they are only a shell of themselves. Spencer adjusts himself, not sure what he is going to say but his plan is just to speak... hoping that the words will form as he does so. He licks his lips, taking in a breath and facing you finally.

"What happened between me and Lila..." He paused, gathering all the courage and breath he had left in this moment. "It meant nothing. I mean yeah we kissed, I mean she kissed me. I told her I had a girlfriend, multiple times. She still did it and I was shocked that I let it happen... but I felt nothing. I swear. And I know you don't want to talk about it, it's uncomfortable and it hurts you too, but I want to talk about it because it hurts me when I think it hurts you. This job can take whatever it wants from me... but I can't live with myself if I let it take you from me." He rambles out.

His breath gets heavy, all the oxygen from his lungs being taken from that single rant. He could've gone on, he wanted to go on but the look on your face made him stop. You looked even more hurt... or did you look relieved... Spencer couldn't tell, you were too hard to read for him. You couldn't explain the feeling either, it was a mix of everything. It was a mix of guilt and content... but most importantly, lust. The ramble had your face heating up and your underwear dampening. You shouldn't be feeling this way at this moment, no... not when your poor boyfriend just poured his heart out to you. but the way his voice was whiny... the way he begged for you, the way his face was now flush... How could you not?

You set your coffee cup down, making your way over to his tall figure. His breathing stopped almost as he could feel your presence getting closer to him, he'd never felt this uneasy in your presence but in this moment, he was afraid of what your next move would be. You were now face to face with Spencer, looking up at him with doe eyes as you watched him nervously fidget with his bottom lip. This feeling you felt was not new, it was something you felt for Spencer when he did pretty much anything. The deep fire that sparked within your stomach was always there when around him, something you were able to control and others... Well, you had to strip him down right then. However, you had never felt this feeling be so potent, so overwhelmingly rich.

"You really mean it?" You said simply, wanting nothing more than to hear him say he wanted you more than you wanted him. Spencer cleared his throat, shifting on his feet as he nervously stood in front of you.

"Yes...I really mean it Y/N." He admitted, his voice laced with desperation. He just wanted his girlfriend, that's all he's ever wanted.

You grin softly, eyes slightly watering as you hear his confession. You knew that Spencer would do anything for you, anything. But hearing it... hearing it gave you a sudden power rush. It made your hands shake, complete dominance running through your body. Your grin caused Spencer to relax, knowing that maybe there was a chance you could forgive him. Your hand snaked its way up to his tie, playing with it. Spencer watched this action, and the sudden realization of how you were feeling crept up on his mind. You weren't the one for punishments, you believed sex should be something that is for praising the other... not punishing. However, the mere thought of you punishing Spencer made both of you weak in the knees.

"i want to believe you, Spence..." You spoke your voice slightly over a whisper. Your hands are still rubbing the soft fabric of his tie between your fingers, flicking your eyes back up to his. "But I can't when you're using that mouth to make excuses...."

You smile up at him innocently, as if you weren't teasing him. Spencer gulped down a whimper, your voice almost having him bust in his pants all ready. You yanked him down to your level by his tie, tugging on it roughly as you forced him to make eye contact with you. You took your free hand to push his hair back from his face, watching his tie rub roughly against his neck. You took your hand, leaving light touches all over his face... tracing every bump, every mole, every scar across his face. You thought he was the most beautiful man you'd ever seen, but so did Lila.

"What can I do..." He started, pausing his sentence as he basked in your soft touches. "to uh... to make you believe me?"

You let out a chuckle, your finger pulling down his lip and then letting it bounce back up. You bit your lip, trying to keep your dominant persona up, but something about the way he was so desperate to please you... the fire burned hotter deep within you.

"I can't tell you... guess you just have to know." You stated. You wanted to keep him on edge, make him more desperate than he already was.

Spencer moaned softly as your grip on his tie tightened, his air getting restricted now but he felt... oddly good. You two were new to having sex at this point, Spencer had just given his virginity to you not even 2 months ago. Yet you both have had sex so often that you both knew each other's bodies inside and out already. He didn't know what he liked or what he wanted, all he knew was he wanted you and only you for the rest of his existence. Spencer couldn't help himself anymore, he smashed his lips into yours. The kiss was full of desperation, his hands making their way into your hair, sometimes pulling but mostly he used it to keep you in place.

It was messy and very sloppy, it was like a normal makeout session for you. Spencer couldn't help himself but to be messy with you, he wanted so much of you that it made him claw at your skin. You didn't mind it, you let him explore your mouth with only his tongue because you fed on his desperation. Your hands made it up to his cheeks, pressing his mouth even closer to you. Your teeth clashed with his, tongues fighting with each other, squirming against each other. You both could have stayed like this for hours, probably coming undone just by kissing but you wanted more.

"Spencer..." You moaned out, pulling him away from you slightly. You looked up at him, the desperation in his eyes to keep going. His lips were kiss-bitten, his cheeks red and his eyes wet. He whimpered at the loss of your lips, breathing heavily as you examined his face. "Take off your clothes and get on the bed."

Your voice was demanding, causing Spencer to jump to what you wanted him to do. You watched him eagerly take off his shirt, his tie getting stuck and frustrating him. Then he worked his way down to his pants, taking off his shoes while he was at it. He left his boxers on, knowing that you would soon take them off anyway. He sat on the bed, waiting patiently for you, feeling your eyes bore into his skin. Spencer had a strange build, skinny and lanky but his muscles were defined. You would basically drool every time you saw it, the first time you ever saw him naked you swear you came just by the view.

"Good boy..." You said, walking over to him as he sat on the edge of the bed. You set yourself on his lap, straddling him as you watched his face turn redder than it already had been. "I have been so good to you haven't I Spencer?"

You sat down on his lap, feeling his cock rock hard against the inside of your thigh. You moved his hair from his face, his hair still reeked of chlorine which created another wave of deep jealousy. Spencer nodded rapidly, his words getting stuck into his throat as you watched his face for an answer. You grinned softly, nodding with him as he let out a little hum.

"Yeah..." You started, feeling his body shake with anticipation. You leaned down, leaving soft kisses along his cheeks as you ground down softly on him. "I let you cum when you want to, let you cum inside me, I suck your dick whenever and wherever I put up with your begging and call you a good boy..."

Spencer moans softly at your words, his hands making their way to your hips as he tries to grind you down harder on his cock. His senses are already being clouded with complete lust, his need to cum is at a peak already. You chuckle down at him, his pathetic moans already filling the room and you have not even started. You trail your kisses to his mouth, forcing the kiss to be softer this time but his lips want more.

"I mean even when I should have slammed the door in your face..." You snap your hips down harshly, watching him moan out loudly. "Here I am, still calling you a good boy."

Although Spencer's moans create a softness inside of you, wanting nothing more than to let him come undone as you praise him, the deep jealousy that has been lingering in the room is creating something inhumane inside of you. You wanted to make him cry, wanted to crave insults into his skin, wanted to push him to the brink, and then take it all away from him. It's how he made you feel, seeing him in that pool with someone like Lila. even if he didn't even mean to. You knew Spencer didn't want Lila to kiss him, part of you knew that and you wanted to slap her for even putting Spencer into that position. However, you could use this anger and jealousy in a good way, a punishment that would leave Spencer feeling like he went to heaven and back.

"y/n... god..." Spencer moaned out, grinding his hips up to meet yours. You grinned softly, moving your hand from his cheek down to his neck.

His neck was already slightly red from his tie, the soft bruise already peeking through. It looked down pretty on his skin, he looked so pretty broken down. You wrapped your hand softly around his neck, setting one last kiss to his lips before you slammed him down on the bed. He gasped softly, breathing heavily as your actions scared him. He was flat on his back now, looking up at you as you straddled his hips. You could feel him throb against your thigh, his cock wanting to free him.

You took the hand wrapped around his neck, trailing it down his chest, down his belly, down his happy trail, pulling his underwear down so only his cock could spring free. You tsked softly, looking down at him as he squirmed. His cock was flush red, dripping precum as it screamed to be touched. It never failed to amaze you just how flustered and hard you could make Dr. Spencer Reid, the genius, the boy wonder.... pretty boy. You weren't exactly what you would assume his type would be, not that you weren't attractive but completely different from Spencer Reid.

You two were like night and day, favoring different things yet being made for each other. Sometimes you would get insecure about it, especially when you two were very public about your relationship. How could someone who knew exactly what they were doing be with someone like you? You thought, sometimes it kept you up at night. How someone like Spencer could be with you, how he could look at you and see only beauty. It freaked you out to say the least and maybe that's why the two of you were in the position in the first place, your insecurities getting the best of you.

"So needy already... I've barely touched you." You tease, biting your lip at the sight of him.

You set your hand on his cock, leaving feather-light touches to it as he squirmed more. You gripped it lazily, moving your hand up and down his cock. Your free hand began unbuttoning your dress pants, zipping them down, and yanking them off your body. You teased Spencer about being the eager one, but you couldn't handle much more of him not being inside you. Spencer threw his head back as you continued to stroke his cock at a slow pace, his eyes shut tight as he was already on the verge of cumming.

"That feel good honey?" You asked him, sure that he wasn't going to be able to answer you. "feels so warm... so wet..." You teased, drawing out your words to push his buttons even more.

You leaned down, hand still pumping his cock as you started leaving soft kissing along his neck, something you knew he loved dearly. Your hand movements were sloppy now, encouraging him to grind his hips into your hand. His thrusts were sporadic, no real rhythm as he was so clouded with the thought of cumming in your hand.

"Feel so... feel so good..." He moaned out, his mind not allowing him to think of a coherent sentence.

That was all you needed to know that he was close, that in the next seconds, he was going to make a mess out of your hand. You pumped him a few more times, watching as his body shook slightly. But then as his orgasm almost washed over him... you pulled your hand away. He whimpered softly, eyes filling with tears as his overstimulated and teased cock throbbed. Spencer had never felt this pathetic, just like you said, you let Spencer cum whenever he wanted to. So you helping him to the edge just to take it away in mere seconds, made this boy into a whiny mess. He would even go as far as to say you spoiled him, always allowing him to make his messes anywhere and everywhere.

"What... why.." He stuttered, not sure what to say but he felt he had been robbed of a mindblowing orgasm. His pouting made you smile, seeing how worked up and ashamed he had become.

"Awe, I'm so sorry baby..." You teased, kissing his neck softly as he desperately tried to feel for your lips with his. "But only good boys get to cum..."

Spencer bucked his hips up into nothing, his stolen orgasm making his stomach ache. Spencer would do anything, anything... just for you to let him cum. He would beg and plead for it, he would murder for it. The mere thought of Spencer willing to do anything just for your hand, sent your body into overdrive, the power rush taking over your own senses until it felt you could only be satisfied by seeing Spencer cry. Spencer huffed and puffed roughly as you continued to lay your kisses on his neck, knowing how weak it made him. His breathing was irregular and it felt as though with every struggling breath, his air was being stolen from him.

"Fuck... please..." He whimpered out, his hands reaching up to your hips once more trying to grind your body against the aching cock. "I'm sorry okay... fuck... I'm so sorry, I'll do anything... I'll be such a good boy for you, just please... fuck please Mommy!"

The word stumped you and took you completely off guard. Spencer was very new to sex and you were new to sex with him, but Mommy?!? You would've never guessed Spencer Reid would have a mommy kink, you should've known simply because it was clear. Spencer Reid has mommy issues, so seeing you as dominant during sex was basically a given, you're a profiler for god sake. You stopped your soft kisses on his neck, bringing your head up to see his horrified reaction to his words.

He was taken aback as well, those words feeling so wrong coming out of his mouth but yet so arousing to him. He always felt the need to hold back the word when you guys had sex, out of fear and him being ashamed. He knew he was safe with you, but something about a grown man calling his lover mommy felt inappropriate to him. It might be his denial or him being sexually insecure, but it just felt weird to him so the only word on his tongue at that moment was "sorry". little did he know though, the word slipping from his mouth did wonders on you. Your face heated up, your cunt wetter than ever, and your urge to cum at a peak.

"I'm so sorry... that was really weird, I'm so..." He started but was rudely interrupted by a very annoyed you.

"Spencer... it's fine, you worry too much." You giggled, trying to reassure him that you were more than okay with his surprising kink. You leaned down once more, pecking his lips with yours to hopefully put him at ease. He eagerly kissed you back, once again pulling you into a sloppy kiss. "How about you show Mommy what you can do with that mouth huh?" You said in between kisses.

Spencer let out a shaky breath, the possibility of how this night would end filling his brain. The shame he felt now was turning into something else, something enjoyable as you teased him about it. He nodded his head, agreeing to whatever you wanted him to do. You smirked, pulling your panties to the side and climbing up his body. Spencer wasn't sure what you were doing, never having been in this position before but his confusion was taken over by pure hunger when being face to face with your cunt.

"If it gets too much or you want to stop, tell me, okay honey?" You stated, looking down at him, his face already slick with your juices. He nodded, looking up at you with eyes that begged you to sit on his face.

You nodded back, getting yourself comfortable before lowering yourself down onto Spencer's face. He knew what to do almost immediately, licking your clit and nuzzling his nose straight into your cunt. Like everything Spencer when it came to sex, it was sloppy and eager. There was no real pace, just Spencer going crazy on your cunt. You couldn't help but rock your hips back and forth slightly, completely forgetting how good Spencer's tongue felt.

Spencer eating you out was no new thing, it happened quite often. He preferred when you two would use your tongues and fingers to pleasure each other. It felt more intimate to him and if he was being completely honest, he felt he was better with them than he was with his dick. He felt he had more control over you when he used his tongue, not to mention when you would touch him he would quite literally forget everything especially how to move his body. So eating you out made him feel more in control and in a career where he was always fighting for control, it was a nice change. Although this position you were in now, sitting on his face, was foreign to him, but he liked it.

You were starting to feel that coil inside you tighten, the sign that you were about to cum all over his face. You gripped the sheets, now moving your hips roughly to the movements of his tongue. Spencer had started sucking softly on your clit before teasing your opening with his tongue, he couldn't pick which he wanted to do so he tried to do both. For a minute there Spencer forgot he even had hands, his mind only on lapping at your cunt and tasting your juices flowing down his tongue.

"Spencer... fuck..." You moaned out, throwing your head back as you tried your best to stay upright. "remember your hands..." You directed him.

Spencer mentally scolded himself for that, knowing that in the past you scolded him for not using his hands. Spencer couldn't help it though, he wanted to taste all of you and his hands were the last thing he was worried about. Spencer brought one of his hands up to meet your cunt, digging his fingers into you. The feeling of his fingers exploring inside you had you grabbing at his hair, holding his face in place as you bucked your hips onto his fingers. Your movements only egged Spencer on, his fingers curling up to feel for your g-stop and his mouth latching onto your clit.

You were now the one who was a whimpering mess, curses fell from your lips and your hips forced themselves down onto Spencer. You were close, feeling that the coil became more tight as your back arched. Your thighs began to shake, your vision blurry as Spencer finally found your g-spot. It only took him only 3 curls of his fingers before that coil snapped.

"FUCK!" You screamed out, not surprised if the hotel heard you.

Spencer licked and pumped you through your orgasm, something you taught him how to do. You can remember the first time he had ever eaten you out, as soon as your cunt oozed out your juices... Spencer got scared that he had done something wrong, completely stopping his movements and cutting your orgasm short. You taught him that it was a good sign and what he should do while it was happening. You were proud to say that you taught Spencer right, you were the one who taught him how to please a woman... Can Lila say the same?

You hunched over on top of Spencer, shaking slightly as you recovered from your orgasm. Spencer slid his fingers out of you, placing them in his mouth as he licked them clean. You watched as he did, the sight alone creating a new wave of horniness over your body. He wanted every little speck of you, wanting to taste everything you had and he would gladly enjoy it. You shifted yourself down Spencer's body, once again straddling his hips.

"Was I a good mommy?" He asked innocently, his voice almost a whimper. He looked innocent as ever, even with his face soaked with your cum, he just looked so heavenly. You placed your hand on his cheek, wiping off the mess you had created.

"So good my love..." You whispered, watching his face turn a bright red once more. The words "my love" echoing in his ears, making his cock throb more. "How about mommy take care of you now huh?"

Your words rushed straight to Spencer's cock, forcing himself not to cum just from your words. Spencer nodded, breathing heavily as you pecked his lips with yours. You could taste your own cum on his lips along with spencers cherry chapstick that he always seems to be wearing. You let Spencer explore your mouth once more, taking what he needed from you as you once again wrapped your hand around his cock and lined it up with yourself. Spencer bucked up to meet your hips, being the greedy little bastard he was and wanting to thrust himself into you. You chuckled at his neediness but gave into his wishes, slowly setting yourself down onto him.

"Fuc..." Spencer whined out, throwing his head back in bliss.

You didn't know what happened at first, thinking that maybe Spencer was just that excited to be inside you once again. Then you felt it, his hot cum coating your walls already. You hadn't even put him all inside you and he had already come. Spencer's face contorted into pure pleasure, nails digging into your hips as he drenched your insides with cum. He was too in the clouds to realize what he had just done, it hit him too suddenly and way too hard for him to think. but eventually, he came down and sudden embarrassment ran cold through his body.

"Shit... I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. It's just h..." He started, rapidly trying to apologize for cumming so early even if it wasn't under his control. His apologies got cut off by you fully sitting down on his cock, his cock now nestled deep inside of you.

Spencer once again through his head back, his words fading into whimpers and whining. You smiled at his reaction, your cunt feeling his dick get hard once more. Spencer never knew that he would be in this position tonight or really ever. He never knew in a hundred years he would be deep inside his coworker, a babbling mess underneath her, and basically prematurely ejaculate inside of her. but somehow this is where Spencer feels he wants to be, maybe not the cumming so soon part but being underneath you.

"No need to apologize Spence..." You moan out, shifting your hips slightly. You bring your hands up to your shirt and slowly work your way down the buttons. "You deserved to cum in mommy, you did so good with your mouth."

You yank your shirt off, revealing your black lacy bra Spencer had bought you days before. Spencer's breath hitched, his memory of buying that in the first place coming back. He was at the store, buying whatever he needed for that night when he accidentally stumbled into the women's undergarments section. He attempted to cover his eyes, but for some reason, they kept landing on the black lacy bra you had right now. It was embarrassing for him to be buying it, going to the checkout, and praying the cashier didn't even think twice about it, it didn't help that the image of you in it had him rock hard.

You bucked your hips softly, feeling every single inch of Spencer nuzzling inside of you. You watched his eyes, seeing how they planted on your boobs. You chuckled softly, reaching your hands to him that were sitting on your hips and bringing them up. You placed his hands on your breast, knowing that Spencer would be too shy to do it himself. You held his hands there, feeling his hands squeeze them gently as you did.

"I wanna..." You start, being interrupted by a soft moan that escapes your mouth as Spencer starts to thrust his hips up to meet yours. "I wanna make you do it again... i want you to cum in me again..."

That is all Spencer needed to hear, his stomach already creating a tight coil that could break at any moment. Your thrust was starting to pick up, his cock being pulled almost completely out of you before you slammed your hips back down to push him all the way into you. With Spencer's cock deep inside you and his hands squeezing your tits roughly, you felt you had died and went straight to heaven, or was this hell? Because you doubted you could find sex like this in heaven, this was dirty and sinful. The curses dripping from each of your mouths and spencers moans that sounded like something straight of a porno filled the room and most likely the entire floor of the hotel.

You couldn't hold yourself up anymore, hunching over Spencer as your hips continued to thrust roughly. Spencer moved his hands back to your hips for the hundredth time tonight, helping you thrust his cock inside of you. You were both overstimulated, your clit sending shocks of electricity through your body every time it made contact with Spencer's lower stomach. The coil inside you threatened to burst, frustration filled you as you tried desperately to bust it open and make more of a mess than it already had been. You reached down in between your legs, rubbing the small bud and sending lightning through your body.

"Fuck... gonna cum...gonna cum on your cock..." You moaned out, stuttering every time Spencer's cock filled you up.

Spencer took that as a sign to thrust harder back into you, moving his hips up and forcing your hips down. You were on the edge, every single inch of your body on fire as you fucked yourself onto Spencer. and with one single hard, deep thrust from Spencer... the coil in you snapped once again. You shoved your face into the sheet next to Spencer's head, screaming into them as you came all over Spencer's cock. You felt this feeling couldn't get any better until you felt Spencer's hot cum flow through you once again.

You were too in your own world to even hear Spencer's loud scream/moan he did as he came deep inside you, you both being thrown out of your own bodies as you came. Your juices flow together to make one big mess out of the sheets, something that will be embarrassing for the housekeepers to clean in the morning. You both laid there for a minute, basking in each other's warmth and feeling spencers cum seep out of your cunt.

It was strange to you, how you would much rather Spencer's cum dripping out of you than... well anything in life. You weren't exactly the most sex-driven person, but at this moment you knew why some people were. Spencer somehow got into your head, planting himself into it and keeping it hostage. With that being said, you couldn't stay mad at Spencer, you honestly completely forgot why you had been pushing him in the first place. The name Lila is so far away from your thoughts, that you don't actually care anymore.

You slid Spencer out of you with a wince, flopping down next to him as he came down from his high. You shifted to your side so you could watch his pretty face, his eyes fluttering open, his mouth trying to steal whatever air he could get... He looked blissful. You felt oddly proud about it, knowing that you were the one to do that. However, through the pride, you felt a deep guilt. Spencer was the kindest boy you have ever met, he chose you to give his heart to. Yet you were upset with him because he kissed another girl? No, he didn't kiss her... she kissed him. You felt petty now, the regret of ever questioning Spencer's loyalty mended into your brain.

"I'm not mad at you, you know?" You're tired, worn-out voice making it sound like a whisper. Spencer sighed softly, clear that he had forgotten as well and now he's remembered it all again. "It's just...seeing her with you, it just brought me back to high school you know? It made me feel how I did when fucking Rachel Clark tongue fucked my prom date..." You let out a soft sigh, playing with Spencer's hair as you talked.

"You know it's normal to feel that way, especially when you had a similar experience," Spencer explains, going on another one of his Reid rants. "And well, anyone would feel like that whether you had a similar experience with it or not. I know I would." Spencer's eyes wandered to the ceiling, closing his eyes due to utter exhaustion.

You couldn't imagine Spencer Reid ever getting jealous, he was always so calm about everything. You wondered what it would look like. Would he pin you to the bed and fuck the shit out of you like you did him or would he just not know how to deal with those emotions. You honestly wouldn't want to put him into a situation where he would feel that, you couldn't do that to little Spencer. He was innocent, as if the world had not touched him yet even if he does look at the dark underbelly of humans every single day.

"Yeah... well you won't ever have to worry about that my love." You said softly, cuddling yourself further into his side as you closed your eyes as well. "You're stuck with me..."

Spencer chuckled softly, at complete peace that he was stuck with you. If you were the person he was stuck with for the rest of his life, he would die a happy man. You two didn't even bother wrapping up in the blankets, you just needed each other's warmth as you lulled each other to sleep. The presence of jealousy and anger nowhere to be seen, maybe y'all didn't talk it out tonight but you sure did fuck and made up. You wouldn't have it any other way. 

[iguana-eyanna]

Shadow of Himself

Pairing: Isaac Mcadoo x Reader

Summary: Isaac's teammates try to guess who is mystery girlfriend is.

"Bruv, it's gotta be a Victoria Secret model" Jamie Tartt says.

"Nah, mate. She's an American singer, he's been obsessed watching the Voice for months." Colin Hughes says.

"American? Not international?" Richard Montlaur suggests, creating a louder argument with the team

"Okay y'all, what's going on? Y'all playing Guess Who: Celebrity edition?"

The boys turn around to Coach Lasso, Beard, and Kent as they stood by the entrance of their office.

"Coach, do you know Isaac's new lady lover?" Dani Rojas asks.

"I don't seem to know why I need to know." Lasso said, placing his hands in his pockets.

"I'm hosting an end of a season dinner at my restaurant for the whole team. Isaac asked me if he could bring a plus one." Sam said, feeling guilty he accidentally slipped it up to the whole team.

"And that concerns you how?" Beard asks.

"It's just news to us, no one knew about the girl. Not even Colin!" Bumbercatch pointed out to a solemn.

"You think you know a man." Colin says to himself, lowering his eyesight.

"Don't you think calling Issac's partner 'girl' a bit degrading?" Roy said, creating an unsettling silence in the locker room.

"Coach is right. I think we should be a tree and 'leaf' the situation. If Isaac is ready to tell us about who's dating and what not, we'll be here to support him."

"Ready for what?" Isaac said as he walks in with his bag.

The team try to stammer a lie, making Roy mutter a small 'fuck this' under his breath as he went inside the coaches' office.

"Uh, the dinner at Ola's. I've added a new dish to the menu!" Sam saved the conversation, hoping to not have a chair be thrown at his direction.

"Nice." Isaac said, walking over to his bench as he gets ready to go home.

Everyone of his team makes subtle eye contact with each other, wondering who would bring up the sensitive.

"Isaac, when are you going to bring your secret lover?" Jan Maas asks, ripping the bandaid as he always does. The whole team groans, throwing their used towels and dirty laundry at the Dutch player.

"Can't keep a secret from you all." Isaac muttered, snickering at the thought in a second.

"So you are seeing someone?" Jamie asks in a genuine tone.

"For everyone's information, yes. I am seeing someone. And no: she is not a model, singer, or a Romanian Spy." Isaac says, staring directly Thierry Zoreaux on the last part, who raises his hands in defense.

"You will meet her at the party, but till then, no one digs into my relationship. Got that?" Isaac demands. The whole team nods in agreement and go along their day, afraid to be stared down or beat up their captain.

Soon, Isaac drives home with a content smile on his face after he picked up some Thai food for dinner. He then gets outta of his car and unlock his door, seeing a pair of shoes that are 5 times smaller than his.

"Love, you here?" Isaac asks, as he takes off his shoes. He then lifts his head to see you standing there with a jean flared-skirt, beige blouse that silhouetted your figure just right, and your hair styled in an updo.

"Please tell me you got my pumpkin curry? They were out last time." You pleaded.

"You're in luck. They had it tonight." He said, raising the plastic bag for you to see.

"Gahh you're the best. Before heading back here, I grabbed you these for dessert." You raise your arm to show him his favorite candy, Rolos chocolate.

"That's why you're amazing" He said, giving you a kiss as he dips you down with his strong arms. Soon, you two set up dinner and talked about your day.

"Really, a Romanian Spy?" You ask, as Isaac told you what his friends were guessing your profession.

"Well you would look great in a spy costume."

"You wish you would." You remarked as Isaac slapped your but lightly, making you yelp and blush. You return the favor as he yelped louder and turning back to you with a mischievous look in his eye.

"You don't think me being a school librarian would make them think I'm boring?" You ask, looking up at him as you two sat down.

"You kidding? I think it's great you help out kids. And if they don't, i'll rough them up."

"I don't think your coaches will like it if you sent them to the hospital." You remark.

"Let them, cause no one will ever say a bad thing about you on my watch." Isaac said, taking your hand and kissing it.

You smile, feeling very confident in your relationship with him. You were a bit skeptical of course, as he was flaunting his money to impress you when you two were first dating. The both of you had a serious talk that splurging should be kept to a minimal (especially when you can't even afford to get his favorite cologne with 3 paychecks alone.)

As for the secrecy of your relationship, you two just wanted to spend your time privately with each other. He didn't like the idea of the press looking at his relationship under a microscope. But now that his team knows he's seeing someone, he realizes his privacy might not last for long.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Oh no, that sentence never ended in a good situation." You remark, placing your glass down. You two scoot closer to each other by the table, and Isaac takes his hands in yours.

"I wanna introduce you to the team. Sam is having a private dinner party for the end of the season. No press or cameras, it will be just me introducing my amazing girlfriend to my friends."

"I'm your girlfriend now?" You quip an eyebrow, smirking.

"If you like to be... I mean what do you call four months of dating-"

You cut him off with a kiss as he holds you tenderly, melting underneath your sweet lips.

"I'd love to come."

Isaac smiles brightly as he kisses you again.

+

As the season ended, Isaac drove you over to Ola's and parked a few feet away. He looks over nervously by the window as he bounced his knee.

"Hey, are you alright? If not, we can leave." You said, placing your hand by his thigh.

He doesn't respond as his eyes dart to his designer shoes.

"Are you afraid your friends are going to say something?" You ask, knowing that his friends have a mouth like no body's business.

"No it's not like that, it's just... I used to be this big shot man who was undefinable. And when I'm with my mates, I become this dick that I don't recognize. I'm just afraid you won't like me if you see the worse parts of me, since it's pretty hard to imagine a life without you innit."

Your eyes soften as he finishes. All this time, you thought that you didn't matter enough to his adventoruos life when it was him that was having these insecurities.

"Isaac. I understand what I was getting into when I found out you were a pro-footballer. You come with a package, and yeah, every man has a very shitty phase but you pointing it out matters. Don't beat yourself up because you used to be a rich twat-"

He shoots you a glare, but he turns it into a snicker.

"I love you, and I hope that the both of us can grow into better people." You intertwine your hands with his.

Isaac looks at you with those dark brown eyes that you adore so much. He's been beating himself up for thinking he wasn't good enough for you. But it was because of you that he wanted to be a better man.

He takes your hand and kisses it.

"Lemme introduce my amazing girlfriend to my team."

Eagerly getting outta of the side of his car, Issac opens your side as he walks with you hand in hand to Ola's. He takes a deep breath before looking at you then walking inside where he's greeted by his new family, now forgetting why he was ever scared. He'll never be a shadow of himself, now that he has you as his light.

+

"So are we sure she's not a Romanian spy?"

"ZOREAUX!!!"

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Ok, barring from a reboot (hard or soft), is there anyway a future MLB season can be... Good?

Like, if someone else were to take over the reins and got told "here, fix this mess with no reboots and as little retcons as possible", do you think it's plausible?

The only way I can think of is to just move on from the past seasons and say "ok, we can't fix the past seasons. So let's make sure the present seasons are really good". As in just giving up on the past and focus on the present.

The other way is more fan service than substance: a Marinette villain & health recovery arc. Because I just want her to snap one day and say "fuck all y'all".

But what do you think?

I'm inclined to agree. I think the show was damaged but salvageable after season four, but after season five? It's pretty much dead in the water. However, if someone forced me to fix it with no major retcons AND let me go as dark as needed to make that happen, then here's my pitch:

Make the Kwamis evil.

Gabriel really was a loving father, but Nooroo corrupted him.

Marinette keeps secrets to an absurd degree because Tikki is messing with her brain.

Fu was a paranoid recluse because Wayzz made him that way.

Fluff's chosen always end up trapped in burrows, watching the world pass by, banned from being part of it.

This takes us down a psychological horror route where someone on the newly made team notices that the team is acting strangely as their newly assigned Kwamis start to warp their minds. My gut reaction was Marinette or Alya, but Felix and Kagami may be a better choice as this could be a way to give their sentistatus meaning. Perhaps it makes them immune since the only way to control them is via their amoks?

This would lead to a reveal that the guardian order was made to protect the world from the Kwamis and not to use the Kwamis to protect the world, but Su-Han doesn't know what to do with the butterfly missing or something like that.

Not my greatest idea ever, but I don't know what else you could do to make sense of the nonsense that canon has laid at our feet and this would do something to explain all the inconsistent characterization. It's not bad writing, it's foreshadowing that something is wrong with the characters' minds!

You could also do something about Gabriel's wish creating a reality that needs to be undone and that's why things feel so wrong, but it's hard to pull that one off since reality was literally rewritten from start to finish so why would the characters even notice something was off? Only way I see that one working is if the people who save the day are from another universe. Like maybe Shadybug and Claw Noir pop in for a visit, notice something is wrong, and help out? But I feel like they've got enough bs in their current universe already. Still, the option is there since they visited the canon universe before the rewrite, met the main cast, and Shadybug read Marinette's diary, so they have enough knowledge to notice that something is wrong.

[thebookofcarol]

Daryl and Carol back together again

And everything is right with the world again. So now that y'all seen the reunion, we can finally talk about it.

There's something primal, raw and heart-wrecking about the way Daryl just stops cause he cannot believe his eyes, drops his weapons, fuck it, he doesn't need anything, except to run to that one person who means everything to him - Carol. Thanks Norman for letting us know, this is exactly how you meant to play it.

It may or may not get long, so more spoilers after the jump...

That reunion scene is everything to me, and tbh at first, I was emotional but thought there was something missing and it hadn't topped the Terminus reunion for me, BUT after watching it a few more times, and in context, I really can't pick which one is my fav. I just can't. I can't even explain it, but there's something so real and palpable about it, that I didn't quite feel with the Terminus one. I guess this one was more serious, more emotional, deeper somehow... I'll be going around in circles and still powerless to translate my feelings into words. So BOTH, I'll pick BOTH. BOTH IS GOOD.

With the reunion out of the way, I feel like Daryl is constantly trying to make Carol understand he did not give up on going home, while Carol is confused and wondering what the heck happened for him to have created that connection with the people in France (Isa and Laurent) in such a short period of time.

Daryl tries to explain, he sounds downright apologetic to her. He says stuff like he didn't mean to care so much, he kept trying to get home to HER, things just happened when he and Isa just tried to help each other with Laurent's acting as the glue that held them together. That is all too familiar for Carol because that's how she ended up married to Zeke. But the way Daryl is trying to explain things doesn't sound at all like he's telling his best friend he fell in love, it feels like a cheating husband apologizing to his wife for his transgressions. I'm not saying Daryl betrayed Carol - HE DID NOT. However, the way he is acting is as if he is guilty, so what I think is that Daryl realized he's betraying his own feelings, and that's why he needs to explain it to Carol. Obviously, it all goes over her head since she states Daryl loved Isa, to which he stays absolutely quiet, just looking at her, and giving her the silliest little smirk ever. LIKE this woman is completely oblivious to what he is trying to convey. And it's so hilariously infuriating Carol of her to do that.

ANYWAYS, all the foreshadowing with Didi and Theo, how they found each other late in life, and are currently living happily together (not married!), just the two of them, living for each other. It's beautiful, it's romantic, and I believe it's exactly the type of happy ending EP's Norman and Melissa have in mind for Carol and Daryl's endgame. No matter who they are to each other, romantic or not, this is how they find happiness.

AND FINALLY. There's time for Carol and Daryl to make small talk, and they instantly fall back to that comfortable back and forth. It only feels different because the Carol and Daryl we used to know could not afford the time to just talk about wants, needs, school and traveling the world while on the main show. Now, they can just be themselves, have much more room to talk, talk about meaningless stuff that show us a bit more of who they are. And that's wonderful to me.

[reveseke]

Artist reader & characters of Cobra Kai. Nothing but fluff and gen (mentions of (full+partial) nude art, but nothing specific!), no specific genders for the reader.

Threw in the girls & Ant as well, bc i could and I genuinely wanted to. All of them could be perceived as either platonic or romantic.

Reminder that my blog is male, ftm, enby, masc centric and I do not write for fem readers!

Eli, Miguel, Demetri, Robby, Anthony, Moon, Yasmin, Tory & Sam w/ an artist reader!

Just my thoughts nothing more or less. :3 also they get noticeably shorter the further down you go lol.

— Eli; I think he'd find it cool if you were into drawing and sketching (I don't believe he'd have a favorite style, just random sketches of the most random-est of things does it for him to think you're really cool and talented). He'd absolutely loved to get a peak at the sketches, especially if he catches you sketching something. If you dare to show him a sketch of him either post Hawk or before Hawk he'd ask you if he could keep it with the sweetest of smiles. Also graffiti, absolutely would mess around with spray paint with you.

However he would be a bit meaner just for the show during S1-3 specifically with his macho show of I'm a goddamn badass pretender for the girls. He'd just be basically mean for the laughs but swear he'd also be sweet as fuck to you afterwards and making up for his behaviour. (Make him sit for a few hours and be your model, that'll do lol.) [Side note I think Hawk would be the kind of guy to think about partial nude art but never admit it.]

— Miguel; just in general this boy is fucking bashful and amazed for your skill at drawing. He'd love to breeze through your sketchbooks and ask you to draw something for him. Absolutely anything and he'd cherish it, especially if it was something of him or nature-related. I also think he'd love abstract patterns. I also think he appreciates graffiti and murals!

— Demetri; interested for sure, especially if you're into drawing fantasy characters and settings. He's a comic nerd, he'd love to see your take on some of his favored characters from comics. fanart kind of guy imo. Also if you draw him his DnD character he'd love you for eternity. Just saying :3 (I also believe that Dimitri would have artistic talent as well. Thinking about dates where y'all just geek about your interests and draw, create stories etc.) I also think that Dimitri would love to see scenery art.

— Robby; this man cannot take a pen in hand and draw himself at all imo, he seems like he's a bit lost but he'd absolutely adore your drawings. I think he'd be into scenery and a realistic type of art. For some reason I think he'd be the guy who doesn't exactly get art, but gets joy from watching someone else geek out about a specific piece and tell him about it and the history/background around the artwork. (Looking at Mona Lisa rn so hard) [side note on this guy, he'd absolutely at some point ask about nude art in general.]

— Ant; we know this guy plays DnD as well, he'd be interested in your drawings and love silly sketches especially off of characters related to his interests. Somehow thinking Anthony wouldn't get abstractical art if it didn't have fantasy-esque in it. Just video game art, absolutely.

— Moon; Personally love her character sm down to earth (not really, she seems more daydream type) and interested in crystals, chakras and energies! I think she'd be interested in symbolism within art and just be really really interested in spiritual-related artworks. Abstractical patterning that takes inspiration from a culture? Mythology related artworks? She'd absolutely eat them up and I mean gobble it all up, I also see her as someone who'd do art with you.

— Yasmin; she'd love to see what you were sketching especially if it was her, because I think she would let you just draw her up in different outfits even without asking if you could. [Personally also think she'd be interested in nude or revealing art.] She'd be your model without any further questioning, BUT be sure your up for the task to hear her whine about how long it's going to take and just be cheesy with some memes. (Koff Koff the popular french girl line.)

— Tory; now I don't think Tori's much of an art girl either, but she'd love to see your sketchbook like the others and watch you draw. However this doesn't by any means rule out graffiti, she'd be up in a second if spray paints and graffiti was mentioned imo! I also think she'd have an eye for scenery and murals artworks with abstract types of art.

— Sam; she'd love to see your sketches and artworks as well! I think Sam wouldn't inherently be that interested in art, but she'd absolutely let you rattle her ears off talking about art and such. I think she appreciates scenery art a lot and murals.

[jpeg-anachronism]

Alrighty, DMC fans, I've figured it out.

Spoilers for those who haven't played DMC 5 yet.

So, we all know that Vergil is Nero's dad. This fact has plagued the DMC fans for years due to it being a loose end that's never tied up.

Who's Nero's mother and Vergil's lover? Unclear. When did this happen? Who knows. How did Vergil fall for someone in what's seemingly a certified out of character moment? Fuck off.

Except here's the thing. The fandom did not fuck off. Forsooth, they fucked on to this thing in such a quick display of background character shipping it would make the Loud House fandom blush.

Side tangent but what the fuck is this I went to look up this one ship from a children's show and I kid you not this is the first thing that came up what the fuck.

Look, bullying is bad. But what if w-

The DMC fans took this one random background lady who stops and looks at Vergil for about three seconds in the opening cutscene of his route and went crazy with it in what was probably the fandom's shining moment.

Suddenly it was all clear. This random ass woman was Vergil's lover, Nero's mom, and the meaning behind the lyric "temptation's pulling me" in one giant package.

And I won't lie to y'all I'm down with that.

Here's the thing, though. We never see her face, hear her name, or really know anything about her besides the fact that she's (hypothetically) Nero's mom. She's the blandest character in the game franchise since we don't know anything aside from her role in canon.

And that's when it hit me.

Capcom did this on purpose.

Let me repeat.

Capcom did this on purpose.

Think about it. At this point, the third game had already come out and fans were practically drooling over Vergil. The fifth game wouldn't be released for a while, so we didn't have peak Vergil madness in the fandom yet but the fan's feelings were clear.

This man was fucking SEXY WITH A CAPITAL C.

The ladies wanted piece of him, and Capcom knew it. Hell, they still know it. Look at the marketing. The official marketing.

Look me in my eyes and tell me that they don't know what this man does to women.

But here's the issue. They needed him to be Nero's father.

When you create a man as perfect as Vergil, you run into a bit of a snag when picking a woman to be his canon lover. Every woman in the stratosphere is going to be tearing their hair out and shaking their fists to the heavens realizing they're not exactly like the woman he's hooked up with.

Sure, some female fans would just be happy to watch Vergil being in love, but deep down every one of them would ask the same question.

"Why couldn't Vergil have fucked me?"

Capcom thrived on Vergil simps. You remove their imaginary chances with an Imaginary character, and things get sticky.

They don't pick a lover for Vergil, the lore falls apart. They do pick a lover for Vergil, the fans fall apart. There was no way to win unless...

Unless they made the fans his lover.

Suddenly, the unpaid intern jumps up in his seat, tasting the promotion as he shouts out "we don't give her a face!"

Silence. A cough can be heard. A few of the people at the meeting start sweating.

"Don't give her a face?" One finally speaks up.

"Right!" The intern yells "No face! No voice! No personality!"

And suddenly the rest of the meeting room understands as well.

See that's the thing. The Fortuna lady is hooded on purpose. She's silent on purpose. She's given no personality on purpose.

Think about her design. We barely see any of her face except a mouth. Her weight is the most average weight one could program, and if it comes off as thinner than the player, they could easily say she's wearing a girdle or something similar under her dress. Her bust size is average, her height is average. Everything about her is painstakingly average and THAT WAS THE POINT.

LADY FORTUNA IS US AND WE ARE LADY FORTUNA. SHE'S A SELF INSERT DESIGNED BY CAPCOM SO WE COULD IMAGINE THAT WE WERE THE ONES WHO FUCKED VERGIL. IT WAS ALL PLANNED FROM THE START AND IT FUCKING WORKED. THE SICK SON OF A BITCHES DID IT.

"But Jpeg, they did give her a face! See?"

I sigh and pat your head.

"No, my sweet. They made this for the other fans. The ones who for whatever reason weren't attracted to Vergil. Of course they would want some form of "closure" as to what she looked like. To them her face was just another mystery to be solved. Besides, why not put this in the actual game? Why leave it as a single, oddly rendered model, banished to the depths of t-posing hell?"

Because it's not canon. That's the answer. The lady from Fortuna's canon face is our face.

"But Jpeg," fucking Oliver Twist pipes up "She's white. What about all the women of color who simp for Vergil? Wouldn't her skin color defeat the purpose?"

First of all, this is something that's hard to skirt around in the first place. No matter how much you cover up a character, you're going to need to show certain details. Look at any dating simulator protagonist.

They can go for basic designs by making them white and brunette, two of the most common genetics, to try to maintain the self insert illusion, but the sad thing is that at the end of the day, it's just a drawing of a man that is not the player.

Except DMC gets around this because fuck those dating sims. Those are for pussies and children of divorce. Devil May Cry treats you like a 100 IQ individual as it makes it clear that if you want it to be so, the Fortuna woman can just be some random ass lady who thought Vergil's cloak looked sick.

Vergil's real lover could be a whole different lady from Fortuna. One that's any race you wish it to be. Whichever race you are, she is too.

Hell, why stop with Fortuna? Who said you have to be a nun in this universe?! By our and Capcom's, logic, you could be whoever the fuck you wanted! It doesn't matter, so long as Vergil ended up smooshing the whooshing with you! Make it whatever pops into your mind! Are you a pizza delivery girl? Another Devil Hunter? A subscriber to Vergil's Onlyfans? Who knows? Oh, wait! You do!

Lady Fortuna is not a single character, nor does she represent such.

Lady Fortuna represents us, and the power of loving a fictional man beyond rational mind.

Lady Fortuna is us.

We are Lady Fortuna.

Or maybe she's some reused asset idk man it's whatever you guys think.

[queersouthasian]

How much do people lack character analysis?? I saw someone create paralleles with charlie and way, and say charlie taking babe's powers is as disgusting as way using his powers on babe. Are you fucking kidding me? This is why we can't have good things. Did y'all watch a different show? Do y'all don't realise Charlie cannot control his powers but way can? Way can choose who to hypnotise and to what extent but Charlie can't. Charlie just touching someone cannot take away their powers. The more the intimacy, the more the absorption. Even if charlie didn't want, he would still take away the powers. Literally something not under his control. And he saws that very clearly in ep 7, "the closer I get to someone, the more I can take away their powers". Way? Way can choose, and he choose to be disgusting. Also this person compared Charlie's lieing about death to babe's dad giving up babe for a better home. HUH??? JUST HUH???? CHARLIE PUT HIMSELF IN DANGER, ALMOST KILLED HIMSELF, HE DIDN'T GIVE AWAY BABE FOR ANYTHING, DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO BABE AGAINST HIS WISH, HE DID IT TO HIMSELF. BABE'S DAD GIVING HIM AWAY WITHOUT CONSENT IS NOT EQUALS TO CHARLIE KILLING HIMSELF TO PROTECT HIM. ARE Y'ALL FR?? HOW LONG WILL YOU DEHUMANISE HIM??? HOW LONG Y'ALL GONNA NOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE THE BEST RELATIONSHIP AND THEY HEALED EACH OTHER??? FUCK EVERYONE WHO HATES THEM, ESPECIALLY CHARLIE TBH, FUCK EVERYONE WHO THINKS BABE WAS AN ASSHOLE WHEN HE WAS BEING MIND CONTROLLED, FUCK EVERYONE WHO ANTAGONISES BABE FOR HAVING TRUST ISSUES, FUCK EVERYONE WHO THINKS CHARLIE IS NOT A GREAT PERSON, A GREAT LOVER. FUCK EVERYONE WHO THINKS THEIR LOVE IS NOT SOMETHING POETIC. AND FINALLY FUCK EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO EVEN THINKS OF COMPARING CHARLIE TO WAY, FOR UNDERESTIMATING BABE'S LOVE AND EFFECT IN CHARLIE'S LIFE.

[snow-lavender]

now that we're a week out from the finale, i'm feeling settled enough to make my sappy post. TL;DR is: fable has been incredibly important to me, and i think it's a story that's important to have out there. to the community and cast, you've made something beautiful and helped me more than you could know.

so here we go-

i started watching fable in the summer of 2022, to kill time in between summer courses (and thank fuck for that, cause my brain desperately needed to have some fun after 5 hours a day of doing psych stats by hand.) i was originally pulled in by vo'lete, as dissecting a conlang is really fun to me. it became basically the only media i consumed, as 2022/2023 was the fourth year of my BA and i was crazy busy. and then the characters pulled me in further with their earnestness and their devotion to redemption and compassion.

i think one of the theses of fable is "people always deserve happiness. doing awful things doesn't erase your ability to change." and i think the simplicity and love of that take hit really close to home. in the era of modern fandom where bad actors try to make everything black and white, it's an important point to make.

i started making shitposts on tumblr, started enaging with stories from an analysis standpoint again, and found a lot of joy in the community here. i don't have the words for what that means to me, so i'll just default to you guys are great <3

then mid-august happened

those of you who frequent rin's streams might have caught bits and pieces of this, but basically, i had a fall and my knee became royally fucked beyond belief. it can only be fixed with a surgery that's not very common. the pain was (and still is) debilitating to the point that i had to drop out of my second degree, and couldn't walk more than like, a block every few days. my life, my dreams, my future all got put on hold. i was in a new city with no supports, no friends, and no way to leave my apartment. fable went from the only media i consumed to the only thing i did, period.

the fandom became the only people i talked to regularly, other than my family, as online relationships were the only ones possible to maintain. in fableblr and in rin's chat i've found people who i really click with, people whose company i enjoy and who enjoy mine. when i was lying in bed, feeling so alone and less than human, having people on the internet go "i know who you are and you are making an impact," quite frankly, kept me sane. i know i don't talk to people super often, but know that seeing you in my notifs brings me so much joy, and i'd love to talk to you more.

to assuage any worries- i'm doing a bit better now. i've moved back in with my parents so i have human contact and people who can make up for the things i can't do. i have a new doctor who is taking the severity of my condition very seriously and is fighting to get me treated asap. i'll be okay.

so yeah. fable has been super important to me, and will remain so! for me it's a story with so much joy and deep feelings and rediscovery of passions and just. fun. it's been so much fun. and i'm not letting go of that fun any time soon. i'm gonna keep making and watching and enjoying.

to sage, corn, and cob- you guys are great, i cherish every time we get to talk. i hope that it's okay that i count you among my friends

to my other mutuals and people who are here frequently- recognizing you in my notes is such a joy and i hope to get to know you better. y'all are cool and i'm glad you think i'm funny

to rin- thank you for nurturing your little community and creating a space where i have so much fun. also thank you for putting up with my constant setting off of automod

to beck- thank you for making a story that explores sisterhood in all its ugliness and beauty, that shows how even families full of love can fuck up, that holds space for loneliness and loss and joy and fear and new beginnings

to the rest of the cast- thank you for making a story with so many varied and yet connected points, characters and world. with so much love in it. you've truly done something special here and its impact will not be forgotten

to all of you- thank you for knowing my name. thank you for breathing life and joy into these stories. i can't wait to see what else we make. <3

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, sorry if you've answered this question before but what is your best song from Face?

***

Hi @tabbypuppykitty

I’ve had a rethink. I think Face-off is now my favourite song on the album.

Set Me Free Pt 2 is still top 3, but Jimin’s enunciation on Face-off brings a smile to my face every time I hear it because that man is too damn sassy for his own good lool.

In the latest Suchwita episode, Hobi revealed that Jimin practiced live singing six hours everyday before and during FACE promotions.

Six hours. Every day.

That made me pause. I started thinking about everything that happened during FACE. I don't talk about this at all here because I won't ever share personal pictures and I know I was incredibly lucky and many other people here likely deserved to see him before I did, but I saw Jimin live during his very first shows for FACE.

He was so happy. The joy on his face and the way he worked the crowd... like a fish in water. He gave some of the best performances of the year during FACE promotions. The whole project and the thoughtful way he went about promoting the album, is noteworthy.

(You should watch this if you haven't already)

*

But then I remembered the BS, the way k-pop stans reacted to the album, to the MVs, to the encore stage, the way BTS akgaes indulged in their sociopathy on his account, how BigHit failed (the anger Jimin biases feel is justified but some of y'all are wallowing in it). I remembered a few of Jimin's Wlives, how so much has been going on for him this year, and then tried to fit 6 hours daily practicing into it...

I have to stop myself when I think about Jimin. He has such latent intensity, like a glamour, a force field around him... it's like a black hole that sucks everything, including you, into him and his world. It scares me.

I know I whine about Jimin biases but y'all amaze me ngl. It takes a special fortitude of heart to bias Jimin. This post already sounds incredibly effusive, but I don't believe I'm exaggerating when I say he's a truly beautiful person. It's almost as though the world does not deserve him. It's impossible to not love him, desire him, care for him... want more sooner for him. I see all that, but I also see that man is stubborn as fuck.

He took his time to start work on his solo album. The middle of the Vegas concerts is when he said he suddenly came to his senses, shook himself out of that trance, and earnestly started putting together the FACE project. He'd written songs before, but FACE was its own thing. The personal stories he chose to communicate, the care in lyricism and production, the quality... Jimin created art in FACE and trusted that those who care for nothing but the best, will love it.

That's sexy, but the way he went about it also betrays a conservatism in him. It's a shadow of the edge in him, that thing about him that causes a tinge of anxiety when you watch him too closely.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but what I mean to say is you need a special kind of courage to bias and love Jimin. I recognize that. When I write what I do here, I always remember that. I also have very little respect for solos. And those two sentiments aren't mutually exclusive.

But taking it back to Face-off, my favourite thing about it is Jimin's sense of humour and skill coming through in the song, as well as how he enunciates his words. To really hear the switch in his tone, you need to stream in this order:

Like Crazy > Alone > Set Me Free Pt 2 > Face-off

By the time you get to Face-off, Jimin's voice has already gone through every variation possible, but then he brings out a tone I've heard only one other artist do well (Rihanna), and that tone is disgust.

Pure, refined sass. And he's already got the sauciest voice in k-pop.

The melodic and tonal choices Jimin makes at these timestamps fucks with my head:

1:53 - 2:08;

2:16 - 2:25;

2:41 - 2:56....

(lol, at this rate you might as well just listen to the whole song again.) Jimin is fantastic in the whole thing.

Europe is where Jimin belongs, but America would eat Jimin up too. The country already does if we're being real, America already loves Jimin. But given the right concept, Jimin would devour because he always does, and the world should get to see it. I hope I get to see more of it. As I've said before, if you feel inclined to communicate that to BigHit, I strongly suggest you do.

During Suchwita, Hobi showed how he's planned content for fans almost years in advance. It's possible Jimin does this too, planning music and content for fans to see months later... (So we might not learn why he went to London, for months...)

Yeah... I don't have the strength of heart to bias Jimin. Good luck to y'all.

*

...that was kind of a lot lool. So to calm down, Jimin:

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

Anyway, sorry I rambled. Face-off is a really good song and Jimin did an excellent job on it. The whole project is very good so I can't wait for the next songs we get from him. Shit can't get worse than BB deleting D2C sales so on the bright side, we can only go up from here, and for Jimin who already owns the record as the first soloist in history to debut #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, up will be a good spot to be.

Stream Like Crazy, Seven, All Day, and HUH?!

[dazai-fan-page]

I know it's not my fandom of choice but since it's animated I dub it close enough, Hazbin Hotel people can y'all stop hating on Valentino stans and fan content? The character's an ass and I don't like him much bc Angel, however you have to remember that he's not real. If you don't want to see anything about that character, block people and tags don't start being a dick to real people because they think a character is fun and you don't.

I am in no way saying that Val is a good guy, I am saying that Hellverse is 18+ so you could at least act like adults. And to those like me who ignored the age thing, you chose to do that so now you have to be mature about what you found, fiction isn't real, what someone likes in fiction has nothing to do with what they like or support irl ok?

Next, the fatphobia surrounding "fixing Val's character design" trend is not it, what the fuck guys? Abusers, especially ones who run entertainment businesses, are very likely going to be conveniently attractive or charismatic. Val's a moth bc it makes sense with his character, he's supposed to be attractive for the same reason. So doing redesigns where y'all make him "ugly" is usually just making him fat.

I don't really care what vivzi did or didn't do so if you want me to elaborate on anything, I don't know about what she did I haven't looked into it. I mostly just watched the shows and fandom to fandom, y'all need to chill out. In fighting sucks and none of us are getting into the cool kids clubs so we could at least treat each other decently.

I'm not sayin roll over of someones a dick I'm saying that if you see something you don't like you can ignore it. You don't have to be the dick in the situation.

I try to tread lightly in this fandom bc it's a lot of NSFW and a lot of adults don't want to deal w/ minors seeing their shit and I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable by being around. But holy fucking shit I can't go anywhere without someone trying to say that you a real person are bad for being entertained by a fictional character created to be entertaining, it's stupid.

Also Huskerdust gives me major Skk vibes and I love it tbh. There's the Dazai part of this

[storm-angel989]

Outside The Office Part Thirty Four

I love love love and appreciate the comments! I am so glad y'all like this story!

Three days later I stood in front of the mess of demons in front of me. I tried to hide the nerves that threatened to overcome me, and bit back any trace of kindness. This was the group I had chosen, the group of souls who had the potential to become higher up in my military. The group of souls I needed to trust, because as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t train them all on my own, especially not with the time crunch. 

I was grateful Lucifer did have some sort of starting point, encampments of demons who formed some sort of a military base. I sorted through those positions first and kept the ones who demonstrated excellence- and got rid of those who didn’t. I was hopeful that I could fill those spots from the ones in this group. Those who didn’t make it would fall in with the next group of recruits. 

“You’re here because the data shows you’re the best of the crop. That isn’t saying much, judging by your peers,” I began. I heard the coldness slip into my voice. I was a soldier, just like my father. “You’re here because on paper, you have the potential to be a leader. Let’s see if you can prove that.”

I fell into the commander role easily. Walking around the room, barking orders, assessing, eliminating, sorting and managing came naturally to me- hell, it should. I’ve been training for this my entire life. 

Midday, Lucifer waltzed in to fuck up my plans.

“Ah, no no,” he scolded as he looked over my elimination choices. “No, he’s the bastard son of Greed, I can’t not have him in a leadership position.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. That recruit in particular showed zero judgment, zero remorse, and absolutely zero sense of self preservation based on his actions during our first exercise of the day. 

“With all due respect, Uncle Lucifer, he doesn’t deserve or fit into this role. Maybe with time and training.” And a swift kick in the ass, I thought. But I didn’t say it.

Lucifer sighed and leaned back, “do you know what makes my job so hard? Appeasing the beings your mother created.”

“Respectfully, Uncle Lucifer, I don’t give a shit what they think of me and neither should you,” I replied. “Because if this doesn’t work, they’re fucked just like we are.”

Silence filled the room. Thoughts raced through my head. I didn’t have enough time- there just wasn’t any way around it. 

“Your brain is working, I can see it. Talk to me, love,” Lucifer said as he leaned forward. He rested his head in his hands and waited patiently. 

“There is no way my plan is going to work,” I said out loud finally. “It just can’t happen, I don’t have enough time.”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. “What were you thinking of doing?”

I explained my thoughts to him. The idea of entering the same portal the angels came out of. Of going through and confronting Sera, of ensuring Adam was taken down. But I didn’t have enough faith in the leaders on the ground to leave them alone. Lucifer would have to step up and take over my total command while I was gone.

Lucifer considered my proposition. “It isn’t a bad idea. But I think we’ll have to see who actually enters the battle. Adam will, and he’s the primary target, correct? Wasn’t our plan to take him down and watch heaven scramble?”

I nodded, “he is, and it was, but am I even powerful enough to take him down on my own? And wouldn’t this send a stronger message?”

Lucifer laughed. “Oh sweetheart. You haven’t even seen yet just how much you’ve grown.” He stood up and began to pace, “as far as messages go, you’re not wrong. They can’t ignore a blatant invasion of their own territory. We’re down to our final month, but I think we can pull off your plan with a few contingencies. One, you’re going to have to go through the portal yourself. I can’t join you for a variety of reasons. Two, we don’t know exactly where Adam will be. And he’s the one we should take down first.” He paused as he considered, “the more I think about it, the more I like your idea. Leave the ground battle to me. You slip through that portal. Give them a good scare. If you see Adam, kill him. If you don’t, leave him to me.”

I considered the amended plan. I supposed it could work, if Lucifer did truly take over my position. As I thought about it, another question popped up in my mind. “Uncle Lucy? Is overpopulation and lack of resources for the sinners in hell an actual concern? Isn’t that what the extermination was initially about? Too many sinners who could overtake hell?”

He shook his head. “No. I have the power to expand the rings of hell as much as needed to contain the sinners within. My father’s creations will never actually over populate Hell…it was a propaganda I needed to utilize to limit riots around the extermination. Vox’s idea, actually.” He paused his pacing and looked at me, “and if you’ll remember, the deal I had with your father was a controlled extermination. I chose the sinners- the worst of the worst- to be sacrificed to heaven. No amount of sinners could ever truly take down heaven. They would need a portal to go through, which is why you’re such a threat. You’re something they failed to account for.”

“How so?”

Lucifer shrugged, “I suspect that with enough souls owned, you’ll be able to open up portals to heaven and hell, much easier than I can see as you’re half and half and not banned from heaven. Technically, you never fell. Nor do they know you don’t yet have that ability. But that’s besides the point. Getting back to your initial question no, the extermination was initially nothing more than a power play. And now, with the end of this deal, we need to make sure that Heaven desires a new contract as much as we do. So yes, I support you going through the portal. I support you going through to Sera and hitting them where it hurts. Show them how dangerous we are, especially with you on our side. Maybe then…we can come to a better agreement. Perhaps end the extermination all together.”

I nodded as I processed the gravity of the situation. “So to be clear, in one month's time, the portal is going to open. You’re going to stay on the ground and be our primary leader. Take out Adam if you see him, or I will if I do. I’m going to take the first opportunity to slip into the portal, and…”

“And approach Sera. Make it clear to her that you will come back and finish the job if she doesn’t call off her troops and agree to a remediation meeting. But whatever you do, I need you to come back through that portal, unscathed. Understood?”

“I’m a bargaining chip. I understand.” I replied without considering my words. 

“No,” he said sharply. He reached over and grabbed my shoulders. “You’re my niece. And I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. Understood?” He released me and gave my hand the briefest of squeezes. “We’ve got one month. Let’s do this.” 

Later that night, I sat across from the V’s at dinner, half listening to them chat about their day. Lost in thought about the extermination and upcoming battle, I twirled my pasta listlessly. 

“Reader? Reader? Hey! Reader!” Vox’s fingers snapped in front of my face. 

I shook my head, trying to bring myself back to reality. “Sorry, Vox, what?”

He looked at me with concern. “You’ve twirled that same strand of fettuccine at least ten times. Are you okay?”

I looked down at the uneaten dish, and then around at all of their empty plates. Great, one of more thing for them to be on my case about. “Yeah, I’m just tired,” I answered. “Guys, is there any way I can skip the club scene tonight? I have a lot on my mind.” 

Valentino looked at Velvette and Vox. “Something you want to talk about, cariño?”

I shook my head. “Not here. Not in public. Maybe in the privacy of our apartment.”

“Then consider your request granted,” Valentino said gently. “I’ll have them wrap up your dinner. You can eat later, okay?” 

“I think we could all use a night at home anyway,” Vox added. 

“Agreed. I’m dying to catch up on the latest season of All My Favorite Drama,” Velvette added. “Any interest in joining? We can flop on the couch.”

I looked at them with surprise but agreed instantly. Valentino snapped his fingers and within ten minutes we were back in the limo. I laid my head against his shoulder and he kissed the top of my head. He didn’t press the issue, and instead he wrapped his arms around me tighter. 

“We’re here for you, pequeño amor,” he replied gently. “You can talk to us. Even Lucifer told you that, right?”

“He did. It’s just a lot,” I replied quietly. “Honestly, all I want is a cup of hot chocolate and to be told it's okay. And I’ve never craved that comfort in my life.”

He sighed and guided me to his chest. “We can provide the hot chocolate and comfort you desire. You have family now, a real family. And we love you.” 

The limo pulled to a stop and I interlaced my hands in his as we made our way upstairs. One elevator ride, comfy pajamas and warm mug of hot chocolate later, I was snuggled against Valentino on the couch, Vox and Velvette on the other side, the television playing softly in the background. 

“Alright, fill us in babe, what’s got your heart racing?” Vox asked as he looked up from his phone. “And I do mean literally. Come on, you’re gonna have to debrief us at some point.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled. “This is the plan, guys. We have a month before the angels come down. Lucifer and I decided that while he acted as lead commander down here, I’m going to slip back through the portal they open-”

“Fuck no you’re not,” Valentino interupted sharply. 

Vox shook his head at Valentino. “Val, let her finish.”

I pushed myself away from Valentino ever so slightly. “Val, I’m going back through the portal and will confront Sera. Lucifer mentioned that he thinks with enough souls, eventually, I will also be able to open the portal between the two worlds on my own eventually, and that;s going to scare them. Lucifer can already open the portal, they know that,  but to have an unknown entity, and I’m one they physically cannot keep from heaven? That’s a double threat. That’s a bargaining chip. Listen, if I don’t do this and we don’t come to an agreement, the world we know will literally end and there will be no one left. We won’t win this fight in the end, so we need to scare them into submission.”

“I don’t like it,” Velvette said slowly. “But I understand it.”

“Princessa, is there really no other option?” Valentino asked softly.

I shook my head. “It’s the best plan Lucifer and I could come up with. And I’ll be fine Val. I know heaven’s layout like the back of my hand. Even though I lived in the military ring, I was taught every inch of the land.”

Valentino reached for me and I let myself lay on him.

“Are you afraid, bebita? Are you frightened?” He asked quietly. “It’s okay if you are.”

“I’m not afraid of dying,” I replied quickly. 

“That isn’t what he asked, sweetheart,” Vox replied.

I shook my head. “Guys. I trained for this. Have been groomed for this my whole life. Trust me, I’m fine.”

“So confident, muñeca,” Valentino said with a kiss. “What can we do to help you?”

As considered his question, ideas slowly began to form. “I need to work out a little harder. I need to collect more souls, gain more power, and keep myself, my emotions in check. I think that will be the hardest part.”

Vox took a sip of his own hot chocolate. “Well if you and Valentino did less fucking on the gym floor, you might have more time to lift weights or whatever will be in the next plan my algorithm comes up with.”

I choked on my hot chocolate and Valentino gently patted me on the back. “You knew?! You watched?”

Vox snorted. “Fuck yeah I know. And no, I turn off that camera on my monitor specifically so I don’t see you two fucking each day.” He took a sip from his mug, “it’s gross.” 

Valentino looked offended. “Are you saying you don’t enjoy watching us? Reader is the most perfect…”

“Alright, enough. Thank you Vox, for the privacy. Val, consider our days of gym sex done.” 

Valentino frowned. “But Princessa, I had a great idea for…”

I reached over and covered his mouth. “We can discuss it later. For now, Vox can you algorithm me up a harder workout plan? And maybe a diet plan?”

“I mean, we can start by getting food in your tummy tonight, and I can get it to you by the morning,” he replied. “But only if you think you can stomach something more than sugar. Your body can’t run on empty.”

I laid my head against Valentino. “My stomach is just off, I’m not scared or frightened but its in knots.”

“That’s generally your body telling you you’re anxious about something,” Valentino said gently. “And it has every right to be.”

Vox stood up. “I’ll make something that will make you feel better. Just a little something. Can you agree to that?”

“Yes, Dad,” I said sarcastically. 

Vox stood up and walked behind me. I felt his lips press to the top of my head. “Yeah, well, Vel can’t have kids and someone needs to step up and parent you.”

“I was being sarcastic and Vox, I’m in my twenties. I can look after myself.”

“Doesn’t matter, someone has to teach you you’re loved. Show you what an actual family is like. You know, one that supports you for who you are and doesn’t see you as a machine. ”

Velvette looked at me as Vox disappeared into the kitchen. “That doesn’t make me a mom though. Think of me more as your sister, if you don’t already.” She stretched her arms up. “There is a word for it. Found family. It doesn’t mean Vox is your actual Dad, or that I’m your biological sister. But it means we love and treat each other as the family we never had.”

I felt something inside of me. Warmness and security. Love and appreciation. Support and encouragement. “I like that. Found family.” 

“Yeah, and if I’m your found Dad, you better eat up or you’re grounded,” Vox said jokingly as he came back out with a plate of toast and scrambled eggs. “See? Told you something light. You’ll sleep better with a full stomach either way.” 

“Thanks, Vox,” I replied as I took a bite. “Honestly, I feel better already. Just getting it off my chest.”

“Helps, right?” Velvette said, “Amazing what happens when you trust the people you're surrounded by.” 

I laid in bed next to Valentino later that night, snuggled against his chest. “Val? Can you do the thing where you put your hand over my heart and press?”

He looked at me quizzically but laid his hand on my chest and gently pressed the palm of his hand into me. The pressure was settling, grounding, and I snuggled deeper into him. 

“I love you Valentino,” I muttered as I closed my eyes. 

“I love you too, bebita.”

[alexalessandro]

Okay, are y'all ready for an unhinged theory about Fig?

So we all heard this at the end of the first episode.

"You've been holding onto a piece of magic for a long time... If you take me, you know what you would save. And you smell something sour and curdled."

Now, that's fucking ominous, but I wanna focus on the "something sour and curdled" because that's an odd way to phrase it, right?

Now, this is apparently from a piece of magic Fig has been holding onto for a long time, and Fig's phrasing at the end there:

"I come from hell, we make deals with devils"- Is vague and also blatantly wrong. Fig doesn't literally come from Hell. Our girl comes from the suburbs but is now a devil, the Archdevil of rebellion.

So, I think the one making a deal is not necessarily Fig, but whoever is calling out to Fig is making a deal with her, as she's the devil in the exchange, and I think the creature may not necessarily be devilish in nature.

And who is this creature making a deal with fig? Something that has been with her for a long time, something that smells curdled?

Gilear.

NOW HOLD ON COOL YOUR JETS!

HEAR ME OUT OKAY!!

It's been a joke theory in the FH fandom for a while now that Gilear acquired some extraplanar energy from 1. Dying this many times, and 2. Dying in hell. If they got frequent revivify miles, Gilear's Soul definitely got em.

Now, the fact that Fig smells something curdled immediately calls back to Gilead's Curdled milk and lemon yogurt bit in sophomore year (and his overall yogurt obsession from freshman year). It makes sense that if he became an eldritch being of any kind dairy would be a big part of his supernatural brand.

I would also not put it past Brennan to turn Gilear into a more plot-relevant being, considering his popularity within the fandom, the bad kids, and his presence in the Dropout merch store before the season drop (a whole Gilear plush, really? Don't get me wrong I love it but I'll absolutely be taking that as theory fodder thank you very much).

It would also make sense to link Gilear to Fig's magic this way, not only because a lot of his deaths had to do with devilish ends (The Balgura, literally dying in hell, TWICE, and dying by wearing the armor of one of the seven deadly sins), but also because who else has been there with Fig since the beginning? A piece of her that has been with her for a long time? There's also the fact that Gilear is the first soul she revivified after becoming the archdevil of anarchy and rebellion, and that oughta create a deeper magical bond, right?

We all know how Brennan feels about Gilear "HE'S JUST A GUY! SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO BE NORMAL!!!" But Gilear's life has not been normal since the bad kids, and as much as Brennan is a DM, he's also a producer of the show: "As a DM, my faith in you as a player was not shaken for a single moment. As a producer of the show, I went, Fabian Aramaris Seacaster is one of the most beloved characters of any property on our platform, and we are going to watch him die in real-time, and no agent of the company has the ability to intercede!"

As a DM, Brennan hates Gilear and doesn't understand how he became one of the most beloved characters of any property on D20's platform (especially when he put more effort in and cared more about other parental characters in the show, as he said in a crown of candy adventuring party I believe). As a producer of the show, Brennan understands Gilear's importance in the Fantasy High brand. And if his plush is anything to go by, I think Brennan did not forget about our favorite sad elf dad when planning the storylines of junior year.

Anyway, insanity over, can't believe we have to wait a whole week for the next episode.

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 33 Week 2: Sending Off an Ingrate and a Shocker

Work is still awful, but I need to come on here to talk to you all about the show this week. A lot happened and we need to discuss. I'm gonna rank the stars based on my enjoyment of each performance (mostly) combined with how I feel they may fare with votes. But before that, let's address the elephant in the room. That elimination. So first of all, I was SHOCKED to see Tori Spelling out in the first week. Was she amazing? No. But I think she did enough to cement a third week. I guess I underestimated the fact that she seems to be really disliked. Because between being a part of Beverly Hills 90210, being the daughter of Aaron Spelling and being constantly talked about for decades at this point, I thought she was gonna be around til week 5 at least. Y'all know it takes a lot to shock me with regard to this show. The double did her in and that's why I always hate double eliminations in week 1. It always takes out one person that maybe needs a little more time to get going. As for Anna? Well it was expected. What I wasn't expecting was her parting words. I feel for Ezra mostly, because that man was riding for her since the day he met her. He took amazing care of her and I know it was hard for him to see the heat she was taking. And you're telling me she couldn't even thank him for showing her that she was more than her crime. Or CAI who tried uplifting the past two weeks? What a waste. Even I didn't go in like I could've and really wanted to because I think people deserve a second chance after committing certain crimes (not drugging, murder, sexual assault, trafficking and your third time physically assaulting someone).She played in all of our faces. You know who I don't feel bad for? Conrad and the rest of the producers for DWTS. I said on twitter, "play stupid games, win stupid fucking prizes". She got on that show, on that platform that y'all gave her and bent over backwards to make it work for her, just for her to spit in your faces and tell y'all that y'all ain't shit, ain't been shit and will never be shit. And honestly, that's the one positive thing I can take from her response. Showing them that they are fools for casting her was great. Hate that this show has fallen so far that someone can say that and the show deserves it. Alright, let's get into these couples:

Top Four

Chandler and Brandon might be my favorite partnership in quite some time. They work well together. Chandler is an incredible dancer with the most gorgeous movement quality. And Brandon is creating some great dances. That was a beautiful rumba. I want them to go far. I think they can go far. I don't want another Tinashe situation to happen. But so far, they are doing exactly what they need to do.

Stephen and Rylee are super fun to watch together. They mesh well and Rylee is definitely choreographing some good numbers that showcase Stephen extremely well. I have a concern though. Stephen is a very awkward mover. That was super obvious in this paso. His hips and shaping looked strange. His footwork made me scratch my head. It was a little strange. His timing is still a bit off. He's got a lot of potential, but they really need to work on finetuning these dances. I can see this being a bigger problem in the more fluid Latin dances and the Argentine tango.

Ilona and Alan are just so much fun. I'm glad Ilona let her guard down a bit more this week. She wasn't moving as small in this salsa and really settled into and owned her sexy more. I love that Alan added a couple of lifts for her as it may have helped her feel more comfortable. She has a ton of potential too and I'm super excited to see their dances once she really lets loose. I actually feel like she might shine in a ballroom dance. I know they have that coming up next.

Dwight and Daniella actually did a great job with the foxtrot. Dwight really really wants to do well and you can tell. He is paying so much attention to the details. He connects his moves. He finishes his lines. And he really handles Daniella with so much care. Two things though. I know that the height difference definitely affects this, but he's gotta work on tucking his butt under him. Second is the footwork needs to be cleaned up.

Middle of the Pack

Joey and Jenna made a believer out of me this week. He is definitely one to watch for sure. He is charming. He seems to be a fast learner. He has great movement quality, especially for a man this early on in the competition. He's still gotta work on his hip action. It isn't natural. Once he get that figured out, I'm a little scared about how good those Latin dances will be. Because this rumba was really really nice.

Danny and Witney are my dark horses of the season. Danny is light on his feet and he stays on time (mostly). Witney is doing great choreography and his technique in this jive was great. I still want him to loosen up more, but I can tell that he made a big shift from week 1 to week 2 in comfortability and confidence. These two, as well as the 5 above them, have me super excited for this season. I can't remember the last time I was this genuinely excited for 6 different couples in one season.

Phaedra and Val are interesting to me. I don't think Phaedra is very good. And I don't think Val is choreographing to her dance strengths that well. That section of their foxtrot that was super fast exposed A LOT of Phaedra's technical setbacks. She was super hoppy. That said, I like their partnership. Phaedra is a larger than life personality, so she makes up for the lack of ability with her performance. I want Val to slow things down though. I think that would better suit her at this point.

Jenn and Sasha are an interesting couple. While Jenn handled some of the production issues like a pro, some of the choreographic choices were a choice. I do not understand why there was a cartwheel thrown into this dance. Or jumps and side by side choreography? I'm cool with that stuff being thrown into quicksteps, but a tango? Why? And why are we using these types of songs for tangos while we're at it? There are so many movies that have been nominated for Oscars that have actual tango music in them. Moulin Rouge comes to mind immediately. I feel like that could've forced Sasha to not make stupid choreography decisions. So this is what I'm going to say. Jenn is a good dancer. A lot of her undoing and early departure (because I'm feeling a "shocking" elimination from her) will be due to his choreography. Because again, why?

Bottom Three

So I'm just going to make this easy for these three. Eric and Reginald are both terrible. There's really not much that either Britt or Emma can do for either one of them at this point. They really won't get all that much better, if at all. In fact, I can see both of them getting worse as the season goes on. The one thing I can say is that they both improved this week.

Brooks and Gleb are interesting. Brooks is good. But that quickstep was not it and Gleb is relying way too much on this STUPID SHOWMANCE that they keep trying to shove down our throats. We're TIRED! It sickens me to my core. The fact that Derek clocked that they did a tango hold instead of the correct hold lets me know exactly where his priorities are. So I say that it's time for us to take a stand. We have to stand against showmances on this show. We gotta let these folks know that we are TIRED. We are not stupid. You cannot play us for fools. I'm ready for them to GO!

So that's it. No show this week. Two shows next Monday and Tuesday. Let me know your thoughts and I will talk to you all soon.