#who needs romantic love when you have the detective squad's familial love | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

navalcriminalimagines · 4 years ago

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Pairings: Rafael Barba x Reader, Sonny Carisi x Reader

Warnings: none?

Words: 4,511

Prompt: Rafael spent years keeping his feelings for you hiding.

Missed shot

When Rafael Barba started to work with Manhattan’s SVU, you’d been a detective there for almost two years. You joined the squad shortly before Stabler left. You saw Nick Amaro and Amanda Rollins joining in too. At first, Cragen partnered you with Amanda, and Olivia with Nick, but considering it wasn’t working between Liv and Nick, changes were made, and Nick became your partner.

You two quickly became close, like a brother-sister relationship. He told you about his issues with Maria, you were the first (and only one) to know when him and Amanda became a thing. So, obviously, you told him your secret.

“This is Tomas,” you told Nick, as you were showing him a picture of an 8-year-old boy. “My son,” you added. “Don’t bother counting, I did give birth to him when I was 17.”

“He’s cute. Looks a lot like you,” Nick smiled at you. “Nobody in the squad know?” he asked.

“Cragen does. But he’s our Captain and it’s in my file. But the rest, nope,”

“Why not?”

You told him more about your debut in the police. At first, you did hide the fact that you were a mom. But you quickly realized that your coworkers and others were judging you. People took you as immature, non-serious, and some guy actually pictured you as an easy girl. You hated every second of your debut. So, when you joined the bomb squad, you decided to make your son a secret. It’s much better this way.

Olivia learned about your son when she took Cragen’s place. A part of her was surprised, but another wasn’t. She saw you with kids, you do have that mother instinct. And of course, she promised that nobody would know about Tom.

Working with the SVU squad wasn’t an evidence for Rafael Barba. Nick gave him hard time for no apparent reasons, Amanda wasn’t a fan of him. Fin didn’t care much. But luckily, Olivia welcomed him nicely and then there was you. You were sweet to him, kind. You asked him if you whether call him “Rafael” or “Barba” – “Your choice,” he answered. You ask him how he’s doing every time you see him. You usually bring him a coffee when you stopped by his office.

You’re nice, gorgeous, young, smart, badass… it didn’t take long for Rafael to get interested in you. More than just as coworker. But this couldn’t be happening, so he started to stay away from you as much as possible. At first, it was easy since Rafael only sees you as a detective. He doesn’t know anything about you outside of the office, only that you have Swedish origins from your father. He doesn’t want to know more. He doesn’t need to.

But despite himself, he overheard conversations between you and Nick every now and then. When the name “Tom” came back multiple times, Rafael assumed you had a boyfriend. Good. This should make things easier.

For two years working together, you and Rafael had a normal work relationship. He kept his crush under-wrap, seeing people every now and then, when the thought of you was too much. Sometimes it was one-night stands, sometimes a bit more. But he never kept seeing the same person for more than two months. That’s when people want to make things more permanent. Rafael doesn’t want that.

Keeping you at arm’s length was perfect for him. He couldn’t let you in. He wasn’t open for a serious relationship, and he felt like you could turn his world upside down if he let you in.

He almost did when Nick got shot. You were very worried for your partner, Rafael almost hugged you when you started to cry in front of him. But Liv called at the same point, so he didn’t. And then Nick left SVU, and New York. His departure hurt you a lot, for a moment, Rafael thought you two had some kind of an intimate relationship. But he remembered a conversation you two had.

“Hey Barba, we’re going out for drinks. Wanna join?” you casually asked.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Okay, first, do you need an occasion to go out for drinks? And second, it’s just that Nick needs to get his mind off the breakup,”

“So, it’s definitely over between him and his wife?”

“Yeah, she’s moving to DC with Zara. He’s not doing great,”

“But he can always count on his other partner,” Rafael said, without thinking.

You chuckled, “What does that mean?”

“You two are—close,” Hopefully, it didn’t sound like jealousy. Which it actually was.

“Amanda is the one he slept with, not me. I’d rather sleep with you,” you left right after.

This was months ago, but Rafael still couldn’t believe you said that. He tried not to overthink about it, but he couldn’t. Was this just a joke? Were you just trying to prove a point? Or did you see him as more than just a coworker? He considered trying to explore this, but before he found the courage to do something about it, Sonny Carisi joined the squad and became your partner.

You missed Nick a lot, but you welcomed Sonny with open arms, unlike the others at first. He will forever be thankful about that. It didn’t take long for Rafael to see that you had a bond with Sonny, just like the bond you had with Nick. Maybe more. Liv told him a few times that being partners when you’re a cop is very special. He understands that, but it doesn’t he likes it when it comes to you.

Few months after Sonny join in, Rafael heard the name Tom again. You must have to Sonny about your boyfriend. Since he didn’t hear that name for months, he assumed that you two had broken up. But apparently not. Meaning that there’s nothing romantic with Carisi, but you still have a boyfriend. So, Rafael tried to forget what you told him and kept trying to convince himself that what he’s feeling for you isn’t love.

More months went by. It was obvious for Rafael that Carisi had a thing for you. He didn’t like it, but there’s nothing he can do. But he kept turning down all of your offers when the squad met up for drinks. He didn’t need that. He didn’t want to know the you outside work.

One day, he showed up to the precinct. No one was nowhere to be find. He spotted a gift wrapped on your desk. Curious, he took a closer look. There was a card. He looked around, still no one. So, he tried to take a look at the card.

“That’s very noisy of you, counselor,” he heard for behind. You. He jumped from the surprise, let go of the card.

“A box on a detective’s desk. Had to be sure it wasn’t a bomb,” he said, trying to keep a straight face. You laughed at his excuse.

“Would love to see your reaction if you saw a bomb,” you said, with a smile on your face. Apparently, you aren’t mad, so that’s good.

“I’d rather not,” he shyly smiled at you. “What would your reaction be?”

“Considering that I’ve been there before, I would keep my calm and do my best to defuse it,” you said before walking to the coffee area. Rafael analyzed your words for a moment before joining you.

“Come again?”

“Spent two years with the bomb squad before joining SVU,” you casually said, handing him the cup of coffee you just poured.

In four years, this was the first personal information you gave him. He almost couldn’t believe it.

“I—I didn’t know,”

“Well, yeah. We never talked about anything else than our cases,”

“True,” he took a sip. “And why would that be? In your opinion,”

“Because you don’t like me,”

You had poured another cup for yourself and walked up straight to your desk after those words. You sat, grabbed the gift to put it aside and started to look at something on your computer. Rafael was stunned for a moment but joined you again. He closed your laptop, and leaned against your desk, right next to you. He had never been this physically close to you before.

“Why in the world would you think that?” He asked.

“We’ve been working together for four years, Barba. Not once, did you show some kind of interest in me. You’re best friends with Liv, you tolerate Amanda, you’re courteous with Fin. Hell, you gave hard time to Sonny for the first year but now you agreed for him to shadow you. But me? I feel like you wish I wasn’t here,”

Rafael stayed silent for a moment, analyzing your words. Indeed, he tried to keep his distance with you, but he never thought it made you feel that way. He felt very bad about himself.

“But hey, no problem, okay? We’ve been able to make it work that way for years, there’s no reasons we can’t keep going,”

“You’re very wrong—about everything, Y/N.”

“Then what is it?” You locked your sweet blue eyes into his. For a moment, he was afraid you may see all the love he has for you in his eyes. What reasonable excuse could he tell you? His mind raced. But thankfully, the rest of the squad came back at that moment.

“Barba, Y/N. Are you interrupting?” Rollins smiled.

“Nope,” Rafael stood up right and followed Liv into her office. You watched him leave. No answer. Again.

The gift was actually from Sonny, but it wasn’t for you. It’s for Tomas, who’s now 13 years old. The father left when you told him you were pregnant (he was a bit older) and never saw him again. You raised Tom by yourself, with the full support of your parents, luckily. Your son showed up his interest in makeup and esthetic about a year ago. You completely support him in his passion, brought him whatever he needed/wanted.

Sonny went shopping with his 16 years old niece Mia during the weekend and she wanted to go to the Sephora. He asked her what he could offer to Tomas.

“Uncle Sonny. Are you trying to seduce the mother by being so nice to the son?” Mia asked with a smirk on her face.

“Okay, first, I wouldn’t need to do that. And second, it’s just that—it’s not easy to be different. I just want him to know that he can count on me,”

“Like you wished you could count on someone when you realized you were bisexual?”

Sonny looked at his niece with wide eyes. He still isn’t out to his family. How could she know? “Last year, I figured that this Sam you talked about wasn’t a she but a he. And--I’m bi, too, Uncle Sonny.”

That’s a lot to process in two minutes, while he is standing in the middle of a makeup store.

“There’s nothing wrong with that…right?” Mia added.

“Oh, of course not, sweetheart!” He immediately answered. “When did you know?”

“I was sure when I fell in love with a girl, a few months ago,” she confessed.

Sonny hugged his niece and kissed her hair. “What’s her name? I’d love to meet her,”

“Joy. And that would be nice. I’m so happy I finally told you,”

“I’ll never judge you. And I’ll always be there for you,”

In the squad, you were the only one Sonny came out to. Which makes the two of you even closer.

After the gift “incident”, you and Rafael didn’t talk again for weeks. To be fair, he was trying to avoid you. He almost confessed his feelings for you and that can’t be happening. After this, Rafael decided to call back a woman he used to see. She’s beautiful, smart, nice and wants the same things he does. Exactly what he needs.

He never wanted to talk about his personal life at work, but one day, you showed up in his office. Rafael was on the phone, his back to the door. He didn’t hear you come in, so he kept making plans with Judith. You listened, and felt your chest tightened.

Before he hung up, Rafael heard the door of his office closing. He turned around; nobody was there but he saw you walking out through the blinds. You had heard and walked away.

When Rafael told you, you were wrong about your assumptions, you thought that maybe he was feeling the same way you did. Turns out, you were wrong.

It was Tom’s 14th birthday. You helped him planned an afternoon party. He told you he invited about 10 friends.

But no one showed up. Your son didn’t feel ashamed about his passion - thanks to you and Sonny, mostly - but apparently, his “friends” didn’t like it.

“Baby, why didn’t you tell me they were bullying you? On Monday I’ll go see your principal,”

“Exactly for this. If you do this, it’s gonna be worse. Maybe I should stop,”

“Stop what? Doing something you like? Not under my watch, T. Those kids are just the reflections of their close-minded parents,”

“Yeah, but at least people show up to their birthday parties,”

It broke your heart to see your son like this. You needed to fix this. You need to see your son happy. All day, every day. You went to the bathroom and called Sonny.

“Sonny, I need you,” you said when he answered. “Short things first, those stupid kids didn’t show up to T’s party. There’s no one here. Can you come? With Mia? And Joy? I’m gonna call Liv, see if she can come with Noah,”

“I’m with Mike right now so he’ll be with me. Call Fin too, we’ll stop by Amanda’s to pick her and Jesse,”

“Okay, that’s great, thanks Sonny,”

“Of course. Tom will remember his 14th birthday I promise. Why don’t you call Barba too?”

“Why in the world would I do that?”

“It would be rude not to. Don’t you think?”

“I guess. I’ll see. Can you be there in about an hour?”

You call Liv and she agreed, same for Fin. But Sonny was right, you had to call Rafael.

“Barba,” he answered.

“Hey, it’s Y/N. Sorry to bother you on Saturday afternoon. Um—if you aren’t busy, what do you think about stopping by my son’s birthday? It’s kinda unfair, but stupid kids didn’t show up. I call everyone, they’re all coming. But hey, don’t feel obligated. You don’t have to if you don’t—“

“Okay,” he answered before you could finish your monologue.

“Okay?” You repeated.

“Yeah. When should I be there? And how old is he?”

“I said an hour to everyone. And if you’re asking his age to buy him a gift, don’t bother. Right now, all he needs is people to be there to celebrate,”

“Y/N, don’t make me argue please. How old is your son?”

“14.”

“Okay, thanks. See you in an hour then. Text me the address, please,”

“See you, Rafael,”

Rafael tried to stay calm and natural in front of Judith, but there were some many things in his head right now. Since he went to the bedroom to answer your call, he lied to the woman he was with, pretending a work emergency to leave.

You have a kid. A teenage kid, actually. A quick count made him realized you gave birth when you were 17. Many things made sense now. He needs confirmation but it seems clear that, this Tom he heard about, is actually your son, and not your boyfriend like he assumed.

How could he not know about this? You’ve been working together for almost five years now. He really kept his distance with you. But somehow, he still fell hard for you.

“Hey Liv, I got a call from Y/N. I’d like to buy a little something for her son, do you have any idea?”

“Well, do you know anything about makeup?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Liv laughed. “Where are you? I can pick you up and we stop by a store to buy him something,”

“Okay, I trust you on that.”

An hour later, everybody was there. You welcomed them as they arrived. “If he doesn’t like it, that’s on Liv,” Rafael joked as he handed you the gift he had for your son.

“Nope. That’s on that sells woman that was clearly hitting on you,” Liv interjected.

“She wasn’t— okay, she was. But not my type,”

“Yeah, and Judith probably wouldn’t like it,”

“I don’t know about that. And she doesn’t need to know anyway,” he smiled.

Tom’s mood improved when he saw Mia and Joy. You and Sonny introduced them months ago and Tomas is crazy about them.

“What happened to your face?” Mia asked and Tom frowned. “No makeup, seriously T?” She added, before taking him by the hand.

“Wait—“ you stopped them before they reached the bedroom. “Tomas, meet Mike and Rafael, first. They are the only ones you haven’t met yet,”

It made sense that Tom hadn’t met Mike yet, since he joined SVU a couple of months ago. But yeah, it stings to Rafael. Five years. And he didn’t know.

“You look like a cop,” he said Mike, “but you don’t,” he then said to Rafael.

“Cause I’m not. I’m an ADA, Assistant Dis—“

“I know what it is,” he cut him. “Thank you for coming,”

“Can we do his makeup now?” Mia called out and the three of them — adding Jesse who wanted to go too — disappeared in the bedroom for a moment.

“Thanks, guys, for showing up this quick. It’s a mess,” you sadly said. “T told me that he’s being bullied at school because he loves makeup, lets his hair grow. Apparently, they are calling him a sissy,” your jaw clenched. Rafael saw the mama bear in you. “He doesn’t want me to interfere. But maybe I should anyway,”

“You’re here for him. We all are, that’s what he needs,” Sonny said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to bring you comfort. Rafael tried to avoid the jealousy in his belly.

Opening gifts arrived fast. Everyone brought him something, mostly makeup stuff. Sonny actually got him an appointment in a famous hair salon in Manhattan. Now that his hair is long enough, Tom mentioned wanting to get a real haircut. Mike listened to Sonny’s advices for his gift.

“This is from Nick,” Liv said as she gave Tom a gift. “He wants you to call later,”

“Mom!! That’s two tickets for California!” Tomas exclaimed before reading the note. “And he’s offering me surfing lessons! When are we going? Before—“

“Soon, my love.” You said before he could finish his sentence.

Then came Rafael’s gift. “You can return it if you don’t like,” he said. But Tom’s face lit up when he saw what it was.

“Mom!!!” He showed you the gift, with a huge grin on his face.

“Wow! You finally got it,” you returned his smile and moved a little to stand by Rafael’s side.

“Thank you so much, Rafael!” Tom stood up and hugged the ADA. Some affection Rafael didn’t expect.

“He’s been bugging me for this palette for weeks. I told him to wait because it’s damn expensive,” you whispered to Rafael.

“It’s okay. I’m glad he likes it,” he just answered.

Tomas was thrilled with all of his gifts. It feels good that with those people, he doesn’t have to hide himself, who he is and what he loves. Later, you noticed that Rafael setback from the others. You stood next to him.

“You’re not mad about the gift, are you?” He asked, before you could say anything.

“A little, to be honest,”

“I can pay for that,”

“I know. I see your clothes every day. But that’s not the point,”

“Then what is the point?”

“For the first five years of his life, I couldn’t buy him things. All the toys he had were gifts from my parents— when I made better money, I spoiled him. For years. And now, he’s a very smart teenage boy but he doesn’t necessarily have the value of money. Which I’m trying to teach him. And you showed up with this hella expensive palette, Nick got him plane tickets and surfing lessons. Even the appointment Sonny got him is expensive. That’s not helping,”

“Great,” he smiled, and you shot him a glare, “you’re not actually mad at me, but more at yourself,”

“Don’t do this. You’re not a parent, Rafael,”

“Indeed,” he took a deep breath, “And how come did I do not know you were one?”

“This will just bring us back to our convo from February, don’t you think? And we both know how it ended,”

“We were interrupted,”

“And you’ve been avoiding me ever since,”

So, you noticed that. You always noticed things. He hates that about you. He intensely looked at you, not knowing what to say exactly.

“But don’t worry, Barba, you won’t have to use force for that anymore,” you gently patted his shoulder and joined the others. “My love, do you mind if I steal your thunder for a moment?” You asked your son.

“Nope. Are you going to tell them?”

You looked at Liv for approval and signed Rafael to come closer, which he did. Everybody waited for you to talk. “I—I’m leaving SVU,” you said. There were gasps, widen eyes and Sonny choked on his beer. “Don’t die yet, Sonny. I haven’t finished,” you paused. “It’s no secret that my father was born in Sweden and move here after he fell in love with my mum,”

That, Rafael did know. You talked about your Swedish origins. “After my mum died, my father moved back there. And he’s been bugging us to come with him and considering I’ve always promised this one,” you said, playing with Austin’s hair, “that we would try to live there for a while, I’m actually taking a sabbatical. And next month, we’re flying to Sweden. But we’ll stop by California first, apparently,”

Only Liv knew. So, it came as a shock to everyone else.

The mood changed after that. They were all happy but also sad to see you and Tom leave. Mostly Sonny. It was very rare to witness a silent Sonny Carisi, but this was it. One by one, people started to leave the party. Mia and Joy took your son to the bowling alley. Rafael wanted to be the last so he could have a talk with you, but apparently, Sonny had the same thing in mind.

Rafael was helping you cleaning up the apartment when you noticed Sonny, on your small balcony. “How long has he been there?” You asked Rafael, who just raised his shoulders, clearly annoyed. You joined Sonny, not knowing that Rafael could hear everything you two were talking about.

“You okay there, Sonshine?” Sonny chuckled.

“A bit stunned, I guess.” He said, not looking at you.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I—I was afraid to tell you,”

“Why?”

“Because of what happened a few months ago. Because I’m scared to leave you. Because—I was afraid to change my mind after I told you,”

He finally looked at you. “I’ll never hold you back, Y/N. You know that? You talk so much about Sweden, so does Tom. I’m not completely surprised,”

“Under different circumstances—“ you said, letting the silence says the rest. Sonny turned to his side, so he was facing you.

“I was okay with being your second choice, Y/N, as long as you chose me. But you’re also leaving to be away from him, aren’t you?”

You nodded. “I don’t want to promise you anything, Sonny. But maybe—after that year away—“

He knew what you meant. Sonny put his hand on your cheek, softly caressing your skin with his thumb. Before he could lean in to kiss you, you both heard the balcony window opening. Rafael was standing there. “Who’s your first choice, Y/N?” He just asked. Sonny loudly sighed and turned his back to the lawyer.

“Not important, Rafael.”

“Por favor— answer me.”

“You, idiot,” Sonny muttered, still looking over Manhattan.

“Can—can you come inside for a moment, please?” Rafael asked.

“Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” Sonny said, and turned around to kiss your forehead, “Don’t make anything stupid. Call me,” he kissed your forehead again and walked past Rafael to leave.

“Great timing, Barba,” you sighed.

“I—I don’t understand,” he struggled to say.

“You may be a smart-ass lawyer but when it comes to relationships, you’re very dumb,”

“How long have you—?”

“Been in love with you? About three years. Somehow, the more you pushed me away, the more it made me fall,”

“I pushed you away only because I was scared. Scared of the things I feel for you,”

“You can’t—you can’t confess your love to me as I’m leaving the States, Rafael. That’s not fair,”

“If I don’t do it now, when am I supposed to do it? Over the phone while you’re in Sweden? Or when you come back and choose Carisi?” He paused. “Did you guys sleep together or something?”

“Definitely none of your business,” you said. “And you had five years. Five fucking years, during which all you did was making me feel like a burden for you,”

“I—I never meant to do that. I’m sorry,”

“It’s too late, Rafael. I’m leaving anyway,”

“I’ll wait for you if you ask me to,”

“I’m not. Just like I won’t ask that to Sonny,”

“Then—what? What do we do?”

“Nothing. I’m leaving with my boy in a few weeks, maybe I’ll come back next year, or maybe I won’t. And everybody goes on with their life,”

“Are you saying that I missed my shot with you?”

“Probably,”

This will be hard to swallow. Rafael probably never will, to be honest. But one thing is sure, he couldn’t miss his last chance to kiss you. He closed the gap between your bodies, and slowly put his hands on each side of your face. Since you weren’t pushing him away, he took it as a permission and leaned in to kiss you. He softly put his lips on yours. Right here, right now, on your balcony, nothing else mattered but you and him.

Things escalated quickly. The kiss got more intense, and you used force to make him step back into your apartment. Still kissing each other, Rafael slid his hands on your butt and your legs, gently squeezing to signal you to jump in his arms, which you did. He pulled away briefly, just to ask you which one was your bedroom.

He laid you down on the bed, clothes quickly fly across the room. This probably wouldn’t change a thing, but Rafael made love to you as if his life depends on it.

Indeed, it didn’t change a thing. Two weeks later, you and Tomas flew to California, spent two weeks there with Nick, before flying to Sweden.

Part two, anyone?

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba fic #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi x you #nick amaro #law and order svu #law and order x reader #law and order fanfiction

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gb-patch · 4 years ago

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Ask Answers: April 13th, 2021

And we’re back again with more replies so soon, haha. Thank you for the asks!

Your game literally saved me this hell ass year. Thank you so much for the most perfect piece of art I've ever laid eyes on 😫 ... Do you guys have a rough idea when step 3 DLC will be released? I hope I'm not coming off as rude. I just really really love your game.

I’m sorry for the late reply on this! You might’ve already seen the answer by now, but the Step 3 DLC is coming out on the 16th. We’re almost there :D

This may be a silly question but did Jeremy's parents ever find out that Pran had lied about his age and if so, when/how? :3

Pran came clean to them after a couple of years, when he felt secure enough that it wouldn’t ruin the relationship. The Kings were a little embarrassed, the dad more than the mom, but they’re quite good at brushing past those kind of mistakes so it was all water under the bridge pretty fast.

hi! i know you’ve answered a question about alterations in the our life moments by playing them in different orders, but i was wondering if there was a canon order that the moments for each step happen in? i figure with such a customizable game the “canon” timeline for the moments is whatever order the player completes them in, for example in step 1, i like playing the runaway moment pretty early, since cove trying to run away early in summer makes more sense to me personally. thanks!

Yeah, there’s no canon order we’d insist on. Whatever you like can be the official route for you! And that’s a neat way to look at that event.

What if your character isn’t that into physical contact but still wants to be in a relationship with Cove? Would he be offended if you shy away or something along those lines?

He wouldn’t be. Cove knows how hard that can be and is very understanding. If you set his initiative to low, the game always checks to make sure if you want to be touched or not rather than assuming that you do. And if you do choose that you don’t want to, there’s no stress or drama about it. Cove will just say that’s okay!

Hellu! First off, I want to thank you all for such a wonderful game, it's been the best feel-good game I've ever stumbled upon and I can't express enough how much it has meant to me. Second, I've seen lots of people having trouble with making Cove confess before MC which makes me wonder if people will have the same problem in the dlc when you can propose to him. Is it possible to post a guide for that as well when it no longer could count as a spoiler? Again, thanks for such a beautiful game <3

I’m really happy you had such a nice time with it c:. We’ll answer questions about it on tumblr/in the discord if they come up and, if need be, we’ll find somewhere to upload a guide.

Do we get steam key from buying dlc on itch io?

I’m afraid not. That’d be unfair to those who get it on Steam. Plus, Steam isn’t super cool with giving out thousands of keys to be handed out for free on other sites anymore. They can refuse to give us the keys if they feel we’re trying to take advantage of their system.

hi! so if we reject cove's confession in step 3, can we still have MC and cove get together in step 4?

You can confess to him, yeah. But Cove won’t ever try confessing again if the MC turns him down in Step 3.

What if MC acts like someone Cove doesn't like, like Lizzie or Baxter lol

You can’t do what Lizzie or Baxter does to make Cove dislike them. You can play the game and try, but it doesn’t work out. The MC is just too compatible with Cove if you’re fond/crush/love, haha.

Hi! I absolutely love your game, I love the characters they’re all so amazing, thank you for the game haha

I was wondering if you would get the NSFW DLC no matter what Patreon level you were at, or if you would could get it at any level? :)

What pateron tier do we need to get the 18+ content for Our Life? It's my new favourite game, keep up the good work!

It will eventually be available at the $5 tier and anything above that! Glad you both like OL ^^

On a scale from 1 (being the worst) to 10, how well do the XOXO jerk squad including JB handle horror?

JB: 8

Everett: 5

Nate: 4

Shiloh: 10

Bae: 10

Jeremy: 8 for non-gore horror, 2 for gory horror

Pran: 9

hello!! i was wondering if any of the boys from the Jerksquad would ever wear a skirt/dress?

None of them wear skirts/dresses out of personal preference. But if there was some kind of reason where they had to do it, none would be that bothered.

How does the jerk squad feel about Christmas?

Everett: He fucking loves it. That’s the best time of year.

Nate: Commercialized nonsense.

Shiloh: It’s wonderful! So he claims.

Bae: He likes it quite a bit, but only for the joy it brings children/family. He thinks that’s sweet but is too mature to be whipped up into a festive fervor himself.

Jeremy: It’s awful.

Pran: He hates it.

does cove have any pet allergies? yes I know this is a little weirdly specific

He doesn’t! The lucky boy isn’t allergic to any animal.

Very important question: Would Lee and a musical-theatre loving MC run around belting Into The Unknown from Frozen 2? Because I feel that they would

Probably, haha.

This might seem like a dumb question, so I’m sorry, but with the Derek DLC are we gonna get to hang out with him in person instead of just calling him in step 3?

The Derek DLC adds events in Step 2 and Step 4. It’s part of his story that you don’t really get to be around him in Step 3. But you don’t need to apologize for wondering!

hello! i'd like to ask if it's possible to play the android version of the game with the dlcs after buying the dlcs from steam. i wasn't expecting my android version to have my dlcs since i bought them from steam, but it had my step 2 dlc for some reason. is this a glitch or does the apk actually detect what dlcs you already have on your pc? if so, how come i don't have the step 1 dlc appearing on android? thanks!

That is some kind of glitch. It isn’t possible for the Android DLCs to be unlocked by having them on PC. Maybe in one of the old builds we accidentally didn’t lock the Step 2 DLC properly. Sorry for the confusion!

Does Derek and Baxter have canon sexualities? Will Derek still flirts with the MC regardless of their gender?

They’re both pansexual and can like the MC regardless of what gender they have.

I was wondering if Miranda had a crush on Cove in Step 3? I'm not sure why, but I got those vibes from her?

She thinks of him only as a friend. Cove isn’t her type, haha.

This is probably a dumb hope, but I hope Cliff find someone he loves after Cove is grown up and everything. Or at the very least he has someone he's very close with after Cove leaves.

That’s a really sweet thought to have. Cliff stays single, but he’s graysexual and not-particularly romantically inclined. He only dated when he was really young ‘cause that’s what everyone did. Family and friend relationships are more important to him, and he has plenty of that in his life ^^.

Heya! I was curious if there might be a nickname system in N&F? I kind of pull an Elizabeth when I play and choose a different variation of a name like having Rosie in step one and changing it to Rose in step two, then maybe Rosetta in step three for example, but it also feels a little bit odd being scolded using my nickname hehe. That's all I was wondering about, thank you for your time and the wonderful games!

We are hoping to include the option to go by a nickname in Our Life: Now & Forever. But nothing has been programmed yet, so we can’t 100% guarantee it, haha.

Just curious, what would Liz's and Cove's relationship be if MC wasn't around? I feel like they wouldn't get along as well as they do now, especially during the first and second step

They’d definitely have a lot of friction growing up and they’d likely avoid each other as much as possible. Once they were both older, I imagine they’d be decent neighbor acquaintances. But they still wouldn’t be nearly as close as they are with the MC bringing Cove into things.

What do the customizable eyes look like in the game? Do they look as they are in the creating avatar section? Or do they look different when actually playing the game?

That’s up to you! The doll is just meant to be a general idea. You can apply it to your imagined MC as much or as little as you prefer.

Did Cove go through a "phase" during his adolescence? I don't really wanna headcanon it so I wonder if there's anything (cringy) canon since we missed out on the ages of 14-17 hahaha

Not really, aha. 14-17 Cove is pretty recognizable to his 13 and 18 year old self.

Hello! I'm sorry to bother you, especially with all the messages you get. I was just wondering if the religious wedding venue was exclusive to a church or if there will be different religions of weddings? Also, I love this VN so much, it's so well written and every character is so amazing, thank you for making such a beautiful game.

The church is treated as a historic building rather than anything actively religious, but it’s not the only option like that. There’s a historic synagogue and stuff too! And that’s really nice of you to say <3.

How differently would it play out If MC told their moms about the 20$ deal back when it happened?

They wouldn’t have been happy and would’ve been far more skeptical of Cliff, aha. But they wouldn’t want to keep Cove away from the MC, so it wouldn’t have been too different in the long run.

Hello may I ask what Cove's favorite fudge/ice cream flavor would be? Its alright if its not answered

He appreciates them all, but his top favorites would be the fruit flavored ones and the ones with nuts.

Hi! I really wanted to make mc's house in a game and tried really hard to figure out the floor plan, but I wondered if you have the floor plan of the mc's house so that i can try again with more accuracy?

Thank you a lot for this game, i loved it a lot! (my first play took me 8 hours lol)

I’m really sorry, we don’t have anything like that. But at least you can headcanon that what you did is correct and nothing can prove it wrong, haha.

Hello,I recently started playing lake of voices (I put it off for a long while since I’m usually not very good with horror) and I’m really happy I did!I’m a big fan of your games in general and lake of voices was absolutely great as well.I loved the characters and the dark setting of it,I adored the beautiful art and music and the story was great too,sometimes unsettling and sometimes very sweet.My favorite Route in the game was definitely Lu,I liked his character and was really shocked and distraught by his Route at least two times.I didn’t see the plot twist(s) coming at all!

Besides these ramblings I’ve also wanted to ask if you still remember how to get the lower two CGs on page 5?I seem to always miss them and would appreciate any help.Anyways I hope I wasn’t too much of a bother and I wish the devs a great day!:)

Thank you for all the kind words <3. You get those DLCs by going through the end of the Guide’s character path. You can use the guides on Steam to help you find it/reach the end!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for all of these questions :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #xoxo droplets #lake of voices #ask #Our Life Beginnings & Always #ourlifeba #gb patch #gb patch games

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jjk-anime-horray · 4 years ago

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Overdosing

Bruno Bucciarati x Reader ft. Leone Abbacchio

Trigger Warning: Heavy Mention of Drugs

Bruno absolutely hates drugs with a passion, they are addictive, and once you start them you can't stop. Drugs easy to get into, and there something you want to touch even though you're not supposed to. Unfortunately to him you checked all of those boxes, you were a drug to him, but he couldn't start interacting because he knew there would be consequences.

Being a new member of the squad was hard, and it was hard to adjust to the mafia life style. Plus, you had come from a shitty background just like the rest of them. He was supposed to be leading you, not falling in love with you, but every day it was getting harder to keep his urges at bay. And the day where he would purposefully remove himself from you he would feel with-drawls without your presence.

Bruno wasn't stupid, he knew of his feelings towards you, and he knew of the consequences that would occur if he pursued them. He didn't want to unzip the bag that would release tensions with in the squad, your profession was already high stress anyway, and by no means did it need romantic drama.

Leone Abbacchio, the lone wolf ex-detective was already a very closed off person, but he finally learned to trust Bucciarati, and it would be a completely dick move to make a move on the person he explicitly told him he might of had feelings for (which he did, but he didn't want to admit it).

The things in life that you often want the most you can't get or are unobtainable, well that was the case for a good amount of people, and him anyway. He shouldn't want to want you. Yet, every single tiny tiny brush against him you maybe purposeful or not made him stiffen up and gave him the ecstasy of shooting himself up with a needle.

He shouldn't be enjoying your presence as much as he does, but he does it anyway, and it shows that he's really hooked on you as much as he wouldn't like to be. But that's the reality of drugs, once you get a touch it's hard to let go, especially when someone wants what you what just as much as you do.

Hey so if you clicked down to see this, you were probably curious about what I have to say and it's quite simple. DON'T DO DRUGS!!!!! AND DON'T START THEM. They literally ruin the lives of everyone around you. If you didn't start by you're own choice because your parents got you hooked (which I know happens and it's really sad especially because it's usually lower income families), try to get some help it will benefit you in the long run! My aunt is an addict, and she's currently in jail because she stole money to buy more drugs and got caught. COMPLETELY NOT CARING ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES FOR MY COUSIN, WHO IS LESS THAN FIVE YEARS OLD, WHO HASN'T HAD A STABLE HOME BECAUSE HE FATHER IS ALSO AN ADDICT. So please, take care of your self and your families and don't turn to drugs to feel something, please work it out with someone instead.

#jjba part 5 #jjba x reader #bruno bucciarati #bruno bucellati x reader #bruno bucciarati x reader #x reader #leone abbachio x reader #leone abbacchio #bruno buccellati #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo vento aureo #jojo x reader #anime #weeb #manga #drabble #fanfiction

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milquetoast-on-acid · 3 years ago

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Milquetoast watches SVU

A Single Life S1xE2 Special Victims Unit: Episode Review

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What this episode is about: Benson and Stabler run into multiple dead ends while investigating the case of a woman who fell to her death wearing only a slip.

Grocery guy: "Two for a dollar!" Olivia: "I only need one." That's a HUGE bag for like three items.

Girl tomatoes last a long time, go ahead and buy two.

Olivia is pissed and dishing it out and I AM HERE FOR IT! Elliot is over here backing her up! I LOVE how Elliot is like: "Detective Benson" whenever someone disrespects Olivia. Like yo! show her some respect! She's not some civilian or a beat cop.

They (this whole cast) really have a great rapport.

Jefferies is always heckling Munch. And I am also here for that too!

"The Subway Stroker" hahahaha, that’s a clever name.

They (this random couple) want to move into this dead girls apartment! That's so tacky!

This episode was written by a woman and directed by one too!!!

YEss!! Girl power!

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Olivia: "I'm never home. I'm always with you." What do we learn in this scene? Elliot and Olivia spend more time together on the job than, she does at home. And more time than he does with his family. After a wonderful scene of Elliot and Olivia, bantering light heartedly. He opens up the car for Olivia to put her case files in and proceeds to stare at her. Until she notices and calls him out on it. I thought this scene was romantic then someone pointed out to me that Elliot was seeing Olivia in the victim. Which makes hella sense.

There are define parallels between the two. Olivia lives at home, has no family except her mother. And they have a strange relationship. So if Olivia died who would care? Well...we know Elliot would. BUT...speaking of which. When Olivia is kidnapped in season (oh god, I don't know a season that Elliot is gone) No one knows until 2 days later.

Elliot sticking his hand into the drain to unclog it. Then looks so smug to have fixed it, only to later realize that it was Dickie's turtle that clogged it. Not food! Oh Dickie, why did you put your turtle in the sink and leave it there?

I think it's interesting they pair up the scene with Elliot and Olivia bantering immediately followed up with a scene of Elliot and his family. I feel like a scene with Olivia at home paired with a scene with Elliot and his family; might be more effective at showing how Olivia is so much like the victim.

Cassidy in court is a much better scene of him than we have seen so far. He's telling the jury what happened at a crime scene and he's having to censor himself. It's kinda funny. He's been in the unit for eight months? I think Olivia's been their a year. So that makes them both rookies but she seems so much better suited for this squad than he is.

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Shrink Doctor to Elliot & Olivia: "I don't accept walk ins or couples." Olivia: "We're not a couple." IT's THE SECOND Episode and they already having to tell people their not a couple.

"Meh" OMG hahahahah what the hell is that!? Dr Mark Daniel's you crack me up! What is sort of noises are those coming out of your mouth? He sounds like a duck quacking. Do yourself a favor when you watch this episode watch the first scene with Dr Mark Daniels.

"Dr patient blah blah blah" lol OMG Olivia!!! I totally think Dr Daniels was the victims boyfriend. I haven't seen this episode in years so I don't remember if is or not.

Cragen is eating again...

I was right! He was her boyfriend (casual or not)

Elliot's partner retired and moved to Florida. His name was Alfonz and he was a big guy. That's a big change from him to Olivia.

"Guess she was his boss. I love that." Girl, I do too! It's Michael Nouri!!!! As the News Anchor that thinks he's gods gift to women! He's an asshole but a beautiful one. I feel like L&O loves hammy acting and at this point is a really great fit for broadway actors.

Cassidy doesn't know what n3croph*** is!? How is he a Special Victims Detective? That's like sex crime 101.

"In the jungle..." Cragen was a war vet!? I did not remember this! Maybe this is why he's a dry alcoholic.

That scene with Elliot and Kathy is kinda sweet. And Kathy calling him "El" Also Elliot stripping down to his underwear! HOT!!! Lets rewind that...

Olivia really lives and breathes her job.

Why does a dry alcoholic have a bottle of whiskey in his desk? I remember he was a widower. I didn't remember Mrs Cragen's name is Marge. Or that she was a flight attended that went down with a plane. He says she went down and that’s when he wanted to drown himself in a bottle but that he couldn’t.

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Final Thoughts:

Often times SVU uses cases to tell us about the main characters. In this particular one we get more insight into Olivia and Cragen. It was good seeing a few faces I recognized. Overall, not a very memorable case or episode.

We learn so much about Cragen’s character here. Things I didn’t remember. His wife dying in a plane crash and that he was a war vet. I had forgotten about him having a bottle of alchy stashed in his desk for his detectives. HE is still tempted to drink so why does he keep it? That sounds like such a bad idea to me.

Cassidy is an idiot, why is he here? This episode highlights the fact that Olivia and Cassidy are new to the squad but that Olivia fits in way more than Brian does. Brian is pure butt monkey and comedy relief.

This episode highlights just how alone Olivia is. Who would notice if she died? Or if something was wrong with her. Just like the victim. Elliot would be the first one to notice. This is why I wanted them to show Olivia at home alone just being alone. In contrast with Elliot’s very loud household of six people.

#law and order special victims unit #svu #law and order svu #elliot stabler #olivia benson #kathy stabler #brian cassidy #john munch #monique jefferies #don cragen #milquetoast watches svu #svu reviews #svu season 1 #svu season 1 reviews #svu: a single life #bensler #eo

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lostsoulaltair · 4 years ago

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OnS Theories (17S). First Theory - Reason of Shinoa’s Feelings

Hello everyone, this is the new theory season! As for the first theory, this will be tied to the special analysis that was uploaded yesterday which was related towards Shinoa’s evolution in terms of how she developed her humanity or rather how her emotions started to bloom from being a girl that didn’t have much attachment to one that cared for those who are important to her.

Analysis tied to theory: OnS Chapter 99. Shinoa Hiragi - Deep Analysis

P.S: THEORIES ARE HELD WITHIN A NEUTRAL VIEW AND SHIPS ARE EXCLUDED.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKerqp5yOGo

Shall we begin with this theory?

First of all, this theory will only touch topics related to chapter 99; and the main question is, why did Shinoa get so powerful and why “love” was the key for her to get strength?

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 99

As far as we know, Shinoa Hiragi was a girl without lingering emotions that gradually started to learn how to feel, but within that, there was something heavily attached within her, what could it be?

It was fear.

What do I mean?

After Mahiru removed her demon from her; she taught her that demons could prey on a human if said human exposed their desires to the demon; such thing gradually turned into a numb fear; but how is that possible when she wasn’t able to feel emotions towards pain, sadness, happiness, etc?

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Guren Ichinose Catastrophe at 16 - Chapter 41

Despite what the brain makes think, there are always things the body remembers; and specially if those were shocking experiences; in Shinoa’s case, she saw how her sister gradually fell, how she gradually let loose of her demon that possessed her until she died.

Such thoughts are reflected back in the Catastrophe LNs after Shikama Doji returned to her; she didn’t allow him to prey on her heart easily, nor allowed him to get information that could be an advantage for him. But, when did this fear started to grow?

The fear started to grow after Shikama stopped possessing the main head of the Hiragi Family; she quickly detected his presence thanks to the fact of how linked they are; since she is his wielder. And of course, Shikama being an entity that doesn’t see “love” as a feeling or emotion with purity but rather as something mundane; he quickly started to make her hesitate, and insert fear within her:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 68

In said panel, the squad was celebrating they were able to halt the summonings of the horsemen of the apocalypse by the 6th trumpet along the fact they brought him to a normal state, which means, he was no longer a seraph thanks to the Sinful Key; and then this panel came; Shinoa was at first smiling like she tends to do, but such smile vanished and became a frown, but why would she do that?

Easy. She was starting to fear what would happen next; she was worrying about how she needed to fight against the words of Shikama Doji, she believed that having an attachment or feelings of admiration towards Yu could eventually become her doom.

Hence why when they reached Shibuya and Shikama entered in contact with her, Shinoa didn’t pay mind if he was possessing Kureto; but of course, Shikama kept destroying that security she had; he started to prey on what Shinoa really wished which was seeing Yu happy; how can I state this when it is often heard that her feelings were forced to be romantic/sexual according to some within the fandom?

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 72

Within said chapter, Shinoa had a conversation between Shikama only to be taunted by him in order to make her lower the walls of her heart; within that, Shikama started to suggest an exchange; within the exchanges, both options were things Shinoa wished to see for Yu; one of them seeing Mikaela as a human again; she’s aware Yu’s wish would be to see Mika as a human again at that time; which of course, make her hesitate but nevertheless, she tried to stand strong saying she didn’t care about that; but when Shikama stated he knew a way on how to revert Yu’s curse; that’d mean that Yu would be healed instead of seeing his constant self destruction. But, what does this imply? Does this imply she wanted to feel gratitude or anything in exchange for Yu if she accepted such offers?

The answer is no.

Shinoa’s been displayed as a character that does worry of her squad, and that is something mentioned very well by @fandomsarepainful and @distinguished-slacker.

Shinoa has displayed a caring nature not only for Yu; she has shown such nature towards Mitsuba; she’s conforted her in the past due to the events and hardships Mitsuba endured after the loss of her former squad; furthermore such caring side is visible when it comes to respecting important decisions when it comes to Kimizuki and Yoichi. She doesn’t neglect their ideas, on the contraty, she wishes to learn what they think for a best solution; and such side is visible with Mikaela too after he spent 3 months with the squad after deflecting the JIDA.

Returning back to the main point of the theory, after the events that ended up getting her possessed by Shikama Doji due to her trying to save Yuichiro and Asuramaru; she was eventually rescued by Guren and later on gathered the squad with the Queen Krul Tepes.

And of course, the controvertial scene:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 99

What’s the main reason she stated such thing? Is it because she was forced to view Yu romantically by Shikama Doji and Mahiru?

The answer is a big no.

How could I possibly state that?

The reason goes that Shinoa doesn’t see Yu within lust or obsession as I stated before but rather she sees Yu within a pure love; she wishes his well being and his happiness, that’s what she truthfully wishes for. Shinoa never knew the concept of love towards someone else or rather directed someone rather than her sister but Mahiru did what she could in order to preserve that purity from being twisted by Shikama Doji.

But overall, there’s a second reason to this, what do I mean?

Correct. A reason to live

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 99

Shinoa is tired and exhausted on how her life has gone; she’s tired that Shikama Doji had to control everything and made her lose what she treasured:

Her life

Her sister

Her sister’s happiness

Her squad’s somewhat stable life

The World

Her mother’s death

The curse her squad had to carry being guinea pigs

Her own emotions

She is tired of seeing sacrifices for small victories; she’s tired to see that those important around her have to keep losing what they treasure the most; Shinoa is a character that is aware of many things and that is heavily reflected back in chapter 97:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 97

In said chapter she stated that she expected it was her fault that her mother died after she gave birth to her; she has been carrying so much guilt and pain within her heart to the point she finally got exhausted after seeing Shikama Doji possessing her again when she was learning from the Queen what her sister did in order to create a plan that would start operating in the future with the only hope of protecting her baby sister; the only person Mahiru considered as her family.

But then, if she found a reason to live, does this imply she’s forcing to believe she’s in love with Yu?

No. She isn’t. But why?

Shinoa in her whole life never saw a reason to live, nor exist, she didn’t see why she should keep living but she kept on going without any path; but after the squad was finally created, and after taking the responsibility of leading it; she started to grow emotions, she stated to feel attachment to them but most of all, she started to admire Yu’s kind nature of saving people and giving it all for those who matter or are important or rather being a kind person without receiving anything in exchange.

Hence why, after being possessed again and seeing that Shikama Doji was weakened due to Mahiru’s drug; she found a way to break free and within this, she accepted what her heart felt, which was a pure selfless love; but does that mean she’ll end with him?

No. Shinoa stated that she’d fight because she finally found a reason to live, nor she wants to see Shikama take away all she was able to find and protect; she doesn’t want to see everything vanish without her trying the least, she doesn’t want to be the same lonely girl nor wants to be asleep while knowing Shikama will destroy that amount of happiness she finally managed to find within her life.

That’s why she states she’d overcome him and take over him due to him being the main reason her life was cursed.

Shinoa stopped fearing what her heart felt, she no longer sees “love” as something bad that Shikama stated, but rather a pure feeling that is born with time and that is displayed with the time she spent with her squad who are her friends as well.

What do you think dear readers?

Let me know!

P.S: Theories don’t involve ships and stay within a neutral view

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hag-rambling-on · 4 years ago

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Boys hc’s feats Diaspro

Riven

Riven Cassios was born to two Omega prisoners. What surprised everyone, because staying healthy enough to carry out a pregnancy on a planet that sucks your magic is... Obviously the Rocalucce Council keeps an eye on the planet, they took him out of there because no child would pay because his parents, and he has been in foster homes, although it doesn't last long since the requirements for his adoption were more strict than most -which in the long run the Council would realize was COUNTERPRODUCTIVE for his character-. That is what Darcy detects and why the high spheres are somewhat "permissive" with him.

His mother died giving birth, it was already miraculous that she lived so long and ‘bout his father I think I'm going to kill him too, maybe. The father I assure you would be love him (he called Riven to himself Daru, his gift) thought was not his initial idea, the mother always saw him as an experiment (she was a witch who followed the Ancenstresses). Ohm, also in his blood there are dark elves and giants.

Riven surname is actually the name of the galaxy where he was born or a derivation of it, as is common for orphans. So the boy knows NOTHING about the above.

Timmy and Riven are the only specialists who have passed the full course at Fonterossa, without skips. In the end they bond about it. Timmy gives him a recommendation to work as a part-time mechanic at Magix (good boy face, he knows how to use it)

Timmy

Timeus “tshhhh, it’s Timmy.... i’m not my grandfather” fulfills the physique requisits as much as any other specialist, but it is true that his physique and abilities, adapted to the distance, give him a more "feline" air.

He is also the one who wakes up at night and moves silently, scaringthe rest of the squad if they wake up unexpectedly.

His glasses are for both sight and Aura Vision. His parents are rich enough to pay for an operation, but since he would have to wear glasses for his ability anyway, why? Practical guy.

And the glasses make people look down on him, something that when his self-esteem is high and he’s being rational and cunning he knows it’s wonderful, although many others times may hurt. He is mostly leprechaum with something human.

Nex

Nex is still a Paladin born in Lymphea and with blood of literally ALL races. He adapts well to any planet, although not its people at first. His race mix makes his face “charismatic”, like always draw attention even if people don’t know very well why they are draw.

His ability is Delay Sleep. It allows him to hold over his need to sleep for days without going crazy or losing physical capacity or needing many days to recover (he can stay awake for 5 or more days, sleep 8-10 hours and go back to being his usual self). Sometimes he does not control this well and has plenty of energy in need of drop but he is the one who has the most control of his ability.

One of his parents spent time in Rocalucce Fortress as a "guest" so at times he feels like he has something to prove.

Roy

Coming from Andros, most of the population are merpeople with a few elves and humans. which avoids the 100% aquatic population. Roy, unlike Aisha is mostly human-elf with a bit of merpeople in a grandgrandgrand level. One of his parents comes from one of the colonies on the moons of Andros and he was born there although they moved almost immediately.

Roy’s paladin ability being the canon “Triton Aura” used to breathe underwater. That and learning to swim and drive all kinds of water vehicles was what made him feel "adapted" to Andros. But he always try to be useful.

He only became a Paladin at the beginning of season 6, and it was visiting him that the season began. He’s bi but he thinks of himself as straight.

Nabu

I plead guilty to liking Nabu even though I shipped Aisha with Flora and Nex. So I have a hard time thinking about him. Except, EVERY time I try to think of something. EVERY TIME. Rapunzel. So, he will never cut his hair.

But with an island instead of a tower and a babysitter (male and wizard) more dumbledoor (not, actually more like Newt Scamander mentor like).

Sometimes he misses out on some "social customs/things/normalcies" whatever is called due to his little dealing with people. He may seem naive or that don't understand sarcasm. He understands and learns quickly, but people were very respectful to him and there are things he is not used to. 1/2 merpeople 1/4 half elf 1/4 human as both of his parents are half merpeople.

He likes to swim as much as any merpeople, but they didn't let him do it much because they were afraid he would go away or lost, so he usually went off "to the heights", going up to the rooftops and things like that.

Helia

Helia is trans but keeps his first name as chosen name which I don’t understand. Also he has formally tried study practically everything he wanted. Specialist, Paladin, Wizard (of Threads). Painter.

He can't make up his mind, his family hurries him just to STOP making them dizzy and spend a few years with everything -and actually end a single “major” choice- he wants to experience, that he has a very long life and can dedicate a few decades to Everything and they can support them. Well, more or less, but he was vip pass to all these options because family connections.

Long story about Sky, Brandon and Dia.

Sky, Brandon and Diaspro's first meeting was a show. Has it all. Costumes, lies. Confusion. Kidnapping. And that is why Diaspro insists on the wedding (I would like to mention that although I don’t know her romantic orientation yet surely bi or lesbian, here, Dia is asexual. And Sky is non-binary but his parents do not approve so go for he/him to avoid problem with them. And here our story begins)

A bit of background. Brandon actually hails from Isis, the son of the military and was chosen by the whimsical chibi!Diaspro as a playmate and future personal guard (because then she believed that touching children gave "lice" and her character and age did not have the 18like wall of royal education, then in a random encounter he called her among many things what Dia's mind translated in a strange way "uncracked geode", which is a double-edged compliment in Isis that many would not accept from strangers but she liked it). Rarely they would end up becoming friends in the end. When the series begins, Brandon and Diaspro keep up with calls, which will prevent Dia's reaction with Bloom on the one hand.

On a visit (officially only from the kings of Erakyon to to the kings of Isis) for the children to get to know each other, somehow, they all ended up happily dressing up, with Sky and Dia looking like two pretty princesses and Brandon assessing whether his dress would be green or yellow because Diaspro insisted that she and Sky had already taken the blue and red and so it would be more "thematic".

Here began the first of many attacks on Sky's head, because before it had begun to be rumored (true) that Erendor had fertility problems (btw his race dwarf-high elf and Samara is leprechaum-high elf, Sky gots mostly high elf part). When they came in and saw two girls and a boy, Brandon, not the highest IQ, but one of the wisest of his team and definitely the best fighter, played along so he ended up pretending to be Sky (also helps that his hair colors looks like Erendor) Everything worked out well in the end, although Brandon ended up as Sky's squire (better for him, worse for Diaspro), and Diaspro made Sky promise that he owed her a big favor. Anyway they grew up over the years in friendship and they both knew they were not of each other's true love interest, but, they could put up with each other (because that's what royalty does).

Sky and Diaspro have a sonorous (affectionate) war over Sky's hair to annoy/exasperate Brandon. Diaspro always complains that he doesn't grow it and it would look great then. Sky says that he is fine as with his hair at it is (it's actually Erendor's thing). The soft part of Diaspro that she doesn't usually show off has taught Sky many ways to style his hair and subtly put on makeup to look more feminine if he wants to.

How I am amused by that image from wikipedia and that Diaspro entered Sky's guard so quickly. Another headcanon is that Diaspro would sometimes change her appearance a bit and go into Sky's guard to be with Brandon to annoy him and Sky, when Brandon has to talk about her without giving details, she is simply "his sister Charbonne" (she hates that alias). They were discovered when she was 15 years old but she had already trained and the royal families considered it a sign to formalize the engagement since “they search each other” (people only sees what they wants).

The Diaspro family is not good, first Brandon was a shield (emotional) because as a child they were not “that” bad and then Sky joined him (physically and politically), handling things with Bloom so like that was not a good idea when the floor was full of cracked bottles.

... omg i’m sorry you three i’m sorry what I did to you

Also, Brandon's ability as a green user is very interesting and helps with this a lot. I temporally call it “Keypoint Warning” and I like it a lot, it's like a "tic" that tells him "be careful, what you say, what you do now, even the smallest thing could change everything for youself (for better or for worse)”. He actually has a scar on his forehead (not a lightning bolt) that his hairstyle hides after “that” day but a little less fine on the words and the kidnappers might have broken his mouth so... His parents have been cured (spoiler: no) of heart attack since then.

#winx #winx club #rewinxing #winx rewrite #winx specialists #winx paladins #winx timmy #winx brandon #winx riven #rambling about winx #winx helia #winx sky #winx roy #winx nabu #winx nex #winx diaspro

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peralta-guaranteed · 4 years ago

Text

Romantic epiphanies are dope

At what point, though, had she decided that it was Jake of all people who would disrupt her calendar so completely, while also fulfilling the dreams she didn’t dare write down on it?

After all, if 11-year-old Amy had been asked to create a binder on her future husband - Jake would have not even been mentioned in the footnotes. If she could’ve wished for a partner back then, she definitely wouldn’t have specified that he had to be dorky and clumsy, constantly making bad jokes, living on a diet that would send any other person to the hospital for malnutrition, obsessed with action movies and cop heroics, spending his free time and money on the most useless things anyone could think of, and pranking and bothering her to his heart’s content.

-*-*-*-

On the evening of their engagement, Amy wonders about her own romantic epiphanies and what made her decide that Jake was the person she was going to spend the rest of her life with.

Read it on AO3

“What about you?”

The scene at Shaw’s bar had settled down a bit after the united ring of the squad had broken down into their own little groups as they always did. Gina was busy admiring Terry’s biceps from a corner booth, phone in hand as always, while he played a game of darts with Jake, who was shooting glances over to Amy every few seconds as if they had been apart for months again instead of just a few minutes. Charles was extolling the virtues of some new restaurant to Captain Holt, who definitely looked like he was preparing to leave ever since he’d stepped foot into the bar. Hitchcock and Scully were… well, somewhere, either asleep or eating, probably.

And Rosa was sliding onto the barstool next to Amy, a cocktail glass - Moscow Mule, her favourite, Amy had learned after literally a year of sleuthing - in her hand and a curious glint in her eye that didn’t quite fit the usually stoic face.

“Hmm~?” Amy gave her a quizzical look - she was not yet anywhere on her scale of drunkenness, still holding the beer she’d used to cheer during today’s round of toasts. She didn’t want to get drunk tonight - she wanted to remember it all, forever. The little diamonds of her wonderful new ring were shining just perfectly against the dark brown bottle.

“What about you, Santiago. When was your romantic epiphany? Knowing that you’ll say yes if he asks?” Rosa raised an eyebrow and schooled a more appropriate, serious look on her face. “Because let’s be honest, as sweet as Jake is, his’ was pretty lame. You do cross word puzzles like, every night.”

“Oh, I see.” Amy gave the label on her beer a good scratching, peeling off the edges slightly. “I guess-” she started, but nothing else came.

While Rosa usually enjoyed drinking in silence far more than anything, right now she was on the level of inebriated where she would actually let loose enough to, ugh, chat . And she wanted to chat with Amy, of all people. Well, she supposed, maybe that wasn’t quite so strange, considering she was one of her best friends. Actually, her best friend. Girl-wise, next to Jake. It was still a struggle to admit to herself that these two absolute dorks were far more than just co-workers to her, sometimes even more than just simple friends.

But Amy was still silent, staring at her drink as if it held the answer to everything (which it definitely didn’t if it turned her into Spacey Amy on drink 1).

“It’s fine if you don't have one, you know. S’not always like the movies.”

“No no, it’s just- it’s kinda-” The beer’s label was peeling some more, and the bottle was almost empty after another sip.

It was just kinda… the fact that Amy had always been split down two very different sides concerning marriage.

On the one hand, it had never really occurred to her. Her life plan, hanging proudly over her bed while she was living alone, now replaced by a movie poster of Jake’s that was luckily not Die Hard and the plan relegated to her little office corner, made no mention of it. She had plans for her career - many of them - and actually a few goals for her private life as well, to maintain a healthy work-life-balance as one should. But marriage? There had never been a date set on her wall for that. It was too risky, she’d reasoned even as a teen while drawing up her first plan. Unpredictable, since it involved a whole other person, and relationships couldn’t be planned and dated down to the day, which she hated to think about, and she wouldn’t have much time to date anyway if she was gearing up to be the youngest female Captain in NYPD history. And, if she was completely honest, it was sometimes too scary to think about as well - she knew she was a difficult person to be around, in some ways. Definitely difficult to handle as a romantic partner. What if she couldn't find a man willing to put in that work? And then see the dates on her calendar pass by, alone, or crying from heartbreak? No, marriage was not on her life plan at all, she’d decided at the ripe age of eleven in her pink and off-white bedroom while writing down all the big moments of her life to come.

On the other hand, it had always been an obvious yes. Having a husband, having a family - she could imagine nothing else, growing up with all her siblings, with her parents still being obviously in love with each other after all these years, with her tias and tios and abuelas and abuelos all around her. What would life even be like without that kind of family? Without people over at her place every holiday, without someone trusted by her side tag-teaming all the tasks and duties of everyday life, without that little group of people that she knew would always be there, would always be loving and caring for her the way she loved and cared for them. It was unimaginable. She’d seen the endlessly romantic scenes in films and read about them in her books, and while she was not easily impressed or swayed even as a teenager, she was definitely... expecting some of that in her own life. She wanted the romantic moments, the flashbacks to tell her children and grandchildren about, the beautiful proposal, the perfectly-planned wedding, the photo album of years and years together, of all the milestones a couple could have. Yes, marriage was definitely on her life plan, tucked into the back of her mind and ever present.

At what point, though, had she decided that it was Jake of all people who would disrupt her calendar so completely, while also fulfilling the dreams she didn’t dare write down on it?

Then again, that wasn’t Jake anymore - maybe it had been during their first few years as only co-workers, but he was constantly changing, growing up step by step, maybe a bit later than others, but definitely growing. He was always willing to learn, as much as he’d moan about it all. He was willing to get better, spurned on by competition, maybe, or by the desire to be the best -anything- he could be, not just best detective, but he was willing no matter the reason.

And then again, that wasn’t all that Jake had really been, ever - maybe on the outside, to the unknown onlooker, but not to those who really spent time with him. As careless as he was with his own health, he was always caring for everyone else in his own subtle and not so subtle ways. As ridiculous as his jokes and pranks were, he also knew exactly when they were not appropriate anymore, and he could lend a hand or a sympathetic shoulder just as seriously as he could stand guard for you if you needed a moment alone in the evidence lock-up. As much as he would boast about himself and throw jabs at everyone else, he would also turn into the ultimate hype-man for everyone on the squad at the mere mention of one of them failing or stumbling.

And if Amy had been given the chance to write a wishlist for the man she wanted to spend her life with at any point of her planning - that kindness, compassion and support would’ve definitely been on the top of it.

She realised she still hadn’t answered Rosa. Luckily, Diaz was exactly the kind of person who knew how to hold onto a weighted silence and give her all the time she needed without interrupting her. She simply sipped her heavy-on-the-vodka-please drink and waited.

“I don’t think I-” Amy started up again, realising that her beer bottle was now completely label-less, a small heap of paper on the bar counter next to her. “I don’t think it was one big moment, to be honest. I think it was a lot of little ones.”

“Like what, buying folders together to get his desk straightened out? The moment when he actually used a five-syllable-word right? The day he finally stopped mixing gummy bears with red vines and calling it ‘sugar bolognese’?”

“I know you’re making fun of it, but those were all milestones in their own way, okay?” Amy shot Rosa a little glare, which proved to be extremely ineffective against the other Latina’s taunting grin.

“But they weren’t the moments?” Rosa continued to poke her, turning her voice several octaves higher for the last words. “Where Jake turned into the knight in shining armour baby-Amy definitely used to draw into her diary?”

No, they weren’t. Sure, Amy was proud of Jake for all of them. But they weren’t the moments where she’d realised that this was it, that this person was her person. That there would never be anyone who loved her the way he did, and that she could never feel for anyone else what she felt for him.

She tried to think of something romantic, something big to throw back into Rosa’s face, make her stop the jokes and understand. Make her see that it wasn’t about the grand gestures or the perfect match that made Jake her one and only, as cheesy as that sounded.

They’d had many big moments, that was for sure.

When he went in front of the whole precinct here at Shaw’s to cryptically talk about how much just six days with her meant to him. When she knocked on his door to say screw light and breezy and his eyes lit up as if she’d just taken the weight of the world off of his shoulders. When he sat at the back of an ambulance, a bullet wound from her in his leg and the memory of Figgis’ gun still on his temple, and none of that seemed to matter because they were back in sync and he’d get to finally go back home with her. When he forfeited a bet, lost a collar and gave up his entire apartment for her happiness. When she was knee-deep in files at the precinct long after her working hours and her phone rang, an unknown number on the screen, and when she picked it up she heard his voice so far away and metallic and realised that he must’ve broken several rules and put himself into danger just to get a phone into prison to talk to her. When he spun an entire Halloween heist around today to get her to win it, all so he could give her that soft scared smile as she turned and saw him down on one knee.

Rosa knew about all of these. She’d witnessed them, or heard her drunkenly ramble about them during their weekly get-togethers. And they were all big moments, good moments, special moments she would re-tell to everyone who wanted to hear about her and Jake and their story.

But they weren’t all of it. They were the big plot points in their shared book of life, that was for sure. But they weren’t the kind of quotes she’d underline, the ones she’d write little notes into the margins for. The ones that made her love this book more than any other story she’d ever read.

Yet when she thought about those definitely underlined quotes that came up in her mind now, they all seemed so… trivial, compared to what you’d expect about romantic epiphanies.

Like the time she picked him up at the airport coming back from prison, when he leant back in his seat and took a deep, almost inappropriate sniff of her stupid little pinetree air freshener, telling her how unreal it seemed that someone could miss a smell like that, but that he’d longed for it for weeks now. That it wasn’t pinetree to him anymore, it was the comfort of Amy’s car, and their morning drive to the precinct when he was too tired to get into his Mustang, and Amy picking him up after a few hours too long working on a case, all wrapped up in one scent that he never realised he could miss. He was sniffing an air freshener, with his uneven beard scratching all over it, red eyes from an early flight and maybe a few tears they’d shed at the pick up area, and Amy was sure her heart could never ache as much for anyone else as it did for the tired man sitting in her passenger seat.

Or the time she’d come home from work on his first day off after they’d moved in together, expecting to see her prim and proper apartment turned into a slouchfest the way his old place had been. Only to realise that nothing had changed - safe for the take out containers next to the sink, which had enough left in it that they could share it for dinner. Only to realise that he had actually done all of the laundry, and folded all her socks and underwear exactly right, and even folded the fitted sheets properly, and put it all into the closet in the system she’d developed but never actually written down, because it came to her like second nature. Only to realise that meant that he’d watched her, every time she’d done it, to learn it all perfectly so he could do it for her. And she looked at him as he jumped up from the couch to heat the take out for her as she changed out of her work clothes, and realised that she never wanted to share her home with anyone else.

Or the time he’d first been invited to the big Santiago summer get together, and she’d stressed over it just as much he did, making information binders on her family and their quirks and their habits and what he could say and what he should absolutely not say. But when the party finally came, and he’d squeezed her hand so nervously stepping into the living room, he managed to remember every single brother’s, sister-in-law’s, niece’s and nephew’s name, made extra time for her abuela Claudia’s stories and waited for her tia Maria to translate everything someone yelled in Spanish for him, sat down at exactly the place on the table that would’ve secretly been reserved for him as a test, and slipped into dinner conversations and children’s games down at the lake as if he’d always been there, always been a part of her family. She watched him running from her nephews’ water guns and secretly rolling his eyes at her while talking to her brother David and offering his arm to her abuela Sofia on a walk the way he would usually offer it to her, and she realised that it fit so well because he should have always been there, that this spot in her family had always waited for him.

Or the time she’d started her period while staying over at his place for the first time ever, waking up to stained sheets and cramps and the rushing feeling of pure embarrassment, telling him she was so, so sorry and would buy him new sheets and probably better get home so she could deal with this and not bother him for the rest of the weekend despite the plans they’d made. And he’d simply gotten out of bed, rummaged through a cabinet in his bathroom and returned with painkillers, a hot water bottle, and a box of pads and tampons he’d bought after an awkward day at the academy when Rosa had lectured him about always being prepared for anything his fellow detectives could need. And he’d parked her on the sofa after she’d changed into one of his boxers, and the washing machine was already cleaning the sheets and her underwear, and he said be right back and returned from the bodega on the corner with ice cream and salt & vinegar chips and her favourite chocolate. And she looked at him as he sat down on the other side of the couch, remote already in hand to see what they could binge-watch this weekend, acting as if nothing was wrong and she hadn’t just completely inconvenienced him and weirded him out with her problems, and she realised that she hadn’t. That they’d been together barely a month and a half, and he was already so comfortable having her around that he was prepared for anything. That she could lay it all on him, without the fear of being embarrassed or rebuked as she had been with any other man in her life before him.

Or the time she cancelled what was meant to be their second date ever (after that awkward, chaotic, yet happy-ending first one) because she’d gotten sick. When he showed up that evening at her door, she’d been worried he hadn’t gotten her text (she was too stuffed up to speak properly on the phone, she’d realised when calling in sick to work). But he was wearing an old t-shirt and sweatpants instead of a date outfit, and carried a grocery store bag and a drug store bag, and then he made her take a bath with one of those cold-remedy bath salt sachets he’d found, and cooked her his mom’s sickly-soup (with store-bought matzoh balls, he had to admit, he never quite got those right), and let her pick any movie she wanted to watch while they ate their soup wrapped up under one blanket so she could steal all of his body heat. He’d been to her place as her boyfriend only twice before, but she realised as she snuggled into his arms under the blanket and blew her nose into one of the extra-soft tissues he’d bought that she’d felt so wrong being sick and alone at her home, that she’d subconsciously hoped he could be there to rub the vapo-rub on her back before she went to sleep that night, and that nothing felt more right than him already whistling in the kitchen when she woke up feeling slightly better the next morning.

They were all these little moments, these facets of life that barely even mattered to outsiders, that happened and re-happened several times a year. But they did matter, and they came into her mind every time her mom warned her on the phone not to be ‘too hasty’, every time her non-work friends asked her if she was really sure she was talking about ‘Peralta, the guy you used to moan about so much’, every time someone made a joke to Jake and her about her being ‘above his pay-grade’ or them being ‘an odd couple if they ever saw one’. It was these little moments that mattered so much more to her than any grand romantic gesture could, and that manifested in her mind that Jake was it, and always had been.

The bottle of beer in her hand was still label-less, but she noticed that it was also empty. She didn’t know when she’d transitioned into Spacey Amy, but looking up at Rosa’s face, seeing Gina next to her who’d apparently walked up at some point, she realised that she’d been talking, not thinking all of this.

“Daaaamn, girl.” Gina replied, but her voice was quiet, not even close to the usual mocking tone she’d take on for Amy. Rosa next to her was silent, blinking hard, and if she didn’t know her any better Amy would’ve almost believed she was fighting back a few tears. Which was ridiculous, because this was Rosa, and she’d only had six drinks, which brought her barely close to the emotional level she needed to even think about crying. Rosa’s drunk-scale started a lot later than Amy’s did.

Amy swept away a little tear from her own cheek while grinning awkwardly down at her bottle.

“Good thing that was one drink Spacey Amy and not two drink Loud Amy, huh?” She tried to joke, but Rosa only shook her head.

“Santiago, shit like that, you should shout from the fucking rooftops. Or at least into your fiancé’s stupid grinning face. Damn, I’m genuinely so happy for you two dorks, you’re so perfect. Don’t ever quote me on that, though.” Rosa had at least reached the swearing stage of drunkenness, the one where she’d wrap genuine emotion in as many rude words as possible to make it seem like she still didn’t care as much as she did.

Amy looked over at Jake and caught him looking away just as quickly. He’d been watching her again. He often did when he thought she wouldn’t notice, she’d realised that early on in their relationship. They’d be watching a movie, or hunched over case files, or simply hanging out at her kitchen counter nibbling on take away leftovers and discussing their day, and she’d look up and notice him almost flinching away. On the rare occasions that she woke up after him - once in a blue moon, when the night had been far longer than she’d planned, like tomorrow, probably - she would roll to the side and meet with his eyes, half-closed and shining and definitely, completely focussed on nothing but her.

It was almost unsettling to be the centre of someone’s attention like that, but in a good way. In a way that made her heart skip a beat, because she’d never expected to be anyone’s point of focus like this, ever.

Maybe, besides all the little moments and epiphanies, that had actually been the point of no return for her, love-wise - when she realised just what she was to Jake. Everything, he’d told her not just once during his more romantic moments, whispering in her ear and pressing a kiss to her temple. You’re everything to me, Ames, and sometimes I think you’re even a bit more than that.

“Hey.” She heard his voice next to her as he walked up from the long-forgotten dart board, where Gina was quick to jump in and challenge Terry to another round to see him flex his shoulders.

“Hey yourself.” She grinned back, one drink Amy still on the clock.

“Thought I should come over here to tell you something really important.”

“Oh, sure.” The serious tone in his voice made her steel herself almost as a reflex. “What is it?”

“I realised I’m absolutely, crazy in love with you. Is that okay?”

And there was this grin, this stupid wide grin she knew so well, that always looked a bit different when it was directed towards her than anyone else. Amy couldn’t help but laugh as she softly punched his arm.

“Yeah, you know.” She looked at the ring on her finger as she stroked over the space she’d only just hit. “I think that’s pretty okay.”

He leant down for a kiss, and they could both hear a gagging sound from the side.

“Knock it off, Diaz.” Jake shot Rosa a fake-angry look. “You’re not allowed to make fun of us today.”

“Alright, alright. I don’t need to watch it, though.” Rosa stood up from her bar stool, only to punch Jake into the other arm, definitely stronger than Amy just had. He grinned at her nonetheless, knowing full well that was as close and emotional as a tight hug would be from his old friend.

“Better take your fiancée home before she turns into two drink Amy, though. Think you’ve got some stuff to say that shouldn’t be heard from the whole bar.” She grinned again before walking off to beat both Gina and Terry at darts.

Jake followed her with his eyes before smiling back at Amy.

“My fiancée.” He repeated, and she could see how strange the word still felt in his mouth, strange and new and absolutely joyful.

“Your future wife.” She smiled back, and it didn’t sound strange at all. It sounded perfectly right. Because it had always, always been.

#B99 #Brooklyn 99 #Peraltiago #Jake Peralta #Amy Santiago #fanfic #my writing #my Q needs no more vowels

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amydancepants-peralta · 4 years ago

Note

10 and 24 for the festive prompts :)

(please excuse me while I hang my head in shame, for this was 1: received last year, and 2: still didn’t manage to appear before Christmas this year.) 🤦🏼‍♀️ Best laid plans really do be elusive, huh? @ Anon, I'm sorry this is so late, and I hope you’re still around! ♥️

Prompts - 10: I don’t care what you say, The Nightmare Before Christmas works for Christmas and Halloween! and 24: Secret Santa is bullshit.

(for the sake of this story and b99′s vague timelines, this is set pre-manhunter and post-casecation). (ao3)

all the lights are shining (so brightly everywhere)

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la lah, la la lah lahhh …

Amy sighs, tapping her feet - sadly, trapped in a curled up shoe, and does her best to ignore the jingle that comes from its dangling bell.

Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la lah, la la lah lahhh …

Christmas Carols have always been a favourite of hers, forever singing along to the melody despite being told by many that she really shouldn’t. They were joyful and uplifting and reminders of everything wonderful about the holiday season. But tonight, she’s been standing post for three hours, listening to Z-List celebrity covers of sacred songs of hope; and as a result has spent 85% of her time hatching a plan to find the source of the music and put an end to everyone’s misery.

Don we now our gay apparel, fa la la, fa la la, fa la lahhh …

Jake’s off-key singing voice filters in through her earpiece, and a tiny smile finds it’s way onto her face.

“Troll the ancient yule-tide carol, fa la la la laaaa, la la la laaa! … Wait, troll? That can’t be right! Hey Ames, do you think trolls celebrate Christmas?”

Knowing that answering would blow her cover, Amy remains quiet; nodding slowly both to the beat and her husband’s question as the track fades away and a new atrocity begins.

Seriously, she needs to find out where this music is coming from.

From underneath her undercover position as Head Elf of Candy Cane Lane, Amy shifts uncomfortably, resisting the urge to tug down the tinsel edged skirt that hovered just a little too high for her liking. She wanted to burn the bra she had chosen to wear tonight (digging into her ribcage like it did), save for the fact that it was very expensive and very beautiful, and very much worn this evening with the sole purpose of seducing her husband.

Work had descended into pure madness in the past fortnight, with both her and Jake’s schedules descending from holding relative similarities to polar opposites. And maybe it was the surplus of romantic movies on every single TV channel, or the scores of advertisements reminding her that the holiday season was for being together with loved ones (for Jake Peralta was most certainly Amy’s Loved One) - either way, Amy had begun to miss spending nights alone with her husband something fierce.

Tonight’s plan had been so simple, it had barely required a binder. Wait until it’s nearly Jake’s finish time, don sexy lingerie, cover up with comfy clothes and go pick up her unsuspecting husband from work. Let him unlock the door when finally home, then jump his bones right there on the couch - giving Jake just enough time to discover the red lacy set and look at her the way he always manages to do - like she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. Then, sexy timez. Lots of sexy timez.

And it had all been working so well - until she’d shown up at the precinct unannounced (Jake being too distracted to notice the text she’d sent him), and immediately found herself getting wrapped up in a sting her old squad were devising.

In a spark of true evil, one of Brooklyn’s most elusive drug runners - Art Akemi - had invented a new way to dodge any of his drug shipments from being discovered; deciding to build candy canes around the narcotics so that to the unaware eye, they would appear completely innocuous.

Unfortunately, one of his most recent handovers had gotten mixed up with actual candy canes, resulting in several innocent members of the public ending up in hospital with mysterious drug overdoses. It had taken the 99 and their neighbouring precincts days to piece together Akemi’s plans, and just this afternoon Rosa had been given a lead that suggested a handoff with the kingpin and one of his henchmen would be happening at Santa’s Village that very evening.

It was brazen, to set up an exchange of illegal narcotics in a public access area - particularly, one frequented by children and families alike - but also completely on brand for someone like Akemi. The squad needed to work fast, and work smart; running through the finer details of their mission when Amy had arrived.

And yes, perhaps her FOMOW had reached an all-new peak as she listened to the detectives speak, and perhaps she hadn’t really thought about what she was volunteering herself for - but the next thing Amy knew she was Holly the Christmas Elf, toes squeezed into surprisingly curly shoes as she fielded questions from children and waited for any signs of wrong-doing.

It has been twenty-five minutes since Santa had disappeared to ‘feed the reindeer’ (aka disappearing to the back docks for a quick drag of a cigarette), and just as Amy was beginning to wonder if a search party needs to be called, she feels a gentle tug on her hand, looking down to find a little boy no older than five gazing up at her with awe.

“D’ya think Santa is busy making da presents?"

His eyes are wide - filled with the kind of awe that every child seems to get when they are lulled by the magic of Christmas - and as Amy crouches to match his diminutive height, she can’t help but notice how the unkempt curls on his head remind her of a photo with a similar aged Jake that Karen had once shown her.

(He had been mid-discovery of a fairy garden, one built by his Nana and immediately claimed as his own, and the sheer joy in his face had made Amy’s heart swell, even years later through the faded colours of an oft-cherished photograph.)

“You know, I bet he is.” Scanning the crowd for that familiar mixture of red and white but coming up blank, she turns her attention back to the little boy. “Santa’s magic like that, don’t you think?”

The child’s nod is so enthusiastic the tiny curls on his head begin to bounce, turning quickly as his searching father calls out his name. “Just a little longer, and you can tell him all of your wishes, okay?”

“Da elf said Santa’d building da presents Daddy!” The child runs back towards his father’s outstretched hand, and Amy gives the adult an understanding smile as he lifts his son back into his arms. From his undercover position at a nearby popcorn stand; Jake catches Amy’s eye as she returns to her earlier position, giving him a tiny smile when he throws her a wink.

The topic of parenthood - of them trying to have a baby, one day - had been mentioned by both more than a few times since their anniversary; and the regular use of the word when rather than if ignited a sense of hope in Amy that made her stomach flutter every single time. While the enormity of it all still scared Jake - still scared Amy, if she were to be completely honest - what always seemed to remain after each conversation was the understanding that even if it scared them: together they’d figure out how to get through it.

(Last month’s arrival of Miguel’s baby girl Adamaris, and the sight of Jake cradling her in his careful arms, had definitely not helped, playing on a loop in Amy’s mind for several days after their visit.)

“Nothing beats a bit of Santa magic, hey Santiago?” Jake’s tone is light and playful, and only serves to remind Amy just how much she’s missed talking to him these last few weeks.

Rolling her eyes slightly, she tucks her head downward, playing the pretence of adjusting her costume as she speaks into the hidden mic. “Ha ha, Peralta. Santa is magic, especially to cute kids like that one. No way was I going to be the one to burst the Santa bubble.”

With a stuttered gasp, Jake slaps a hand against his chest, and a passing stranger gives him the side eye. “Wait a minute. Are you suggesting that Santa is fake?!”

“Santa is real, Peralta. As is this very real mission to take down Akemi. Time to focus up.” Terry’s firm tone breaks through the earpiece, busting into Jake and Amy’s conversation, and a sheepish grin breaks out on Jake’s face.

“Right you are, sarge. This is Super Serious Santa Shutdown Situation.” Shoving several pieces of popcorn into his mouth, Jake waits a beat before continuing. “Ames wasn’t wrong, tho. That kid was a cutie.”

The unspoken addition of but ours will be cuter lingers between them, and Amy feels her skin warm up under Jake’s faraway gaze.

Maybe this bra was going to come in use after all.

Rosa’s voice cuts through the unsaid, her tone steady as she moves in closer from her position at a nearby payphone. “Heads up - Santa’s back. And it looks like they’ve swapped out their player.”

Immediately switching into detective mode, Jake shields his face from the new Santa’s sight as he passes, already very aware of earlier (unsuccessful) run-in’s with the kingpin. “That really looks like Akemi.”

“Santiago, can you get close enough to confirm?”

Handing out Christmas tree shaped cookies to the children milling around her position, Amy glances up just in time to catch the replacement Santa as he walks into the village. With the cocky swagger of a man who rarely pays any consequences for his actions, this version of Father Christmas looked paler and far more arrogant than the man wearing the costume earlier.

Pushing past the waiting children with barely any acknowledgment of their tiny hellos, New Santa pauses on his way to his plush red throne; snapping his gum and giving Amy a very jolly (read: creepy) once-over with his eyes. Glancing quickly in Terry’s direction, she gives a subtle nod. Akemi’s case file has landed on almost every detective in New York’s desk at one point or another, and she’d recognised that hard gaze anywhere.

“Well, well, well … don’t you look good enough to sit atop my Christmas tree.”

Acutely aware of their audience, and knowing that the red and white striped stockings covering her legs would definitely be restrictive if she needed to go full ninja on Santa’s ass, Amy quickly chooses to plaster on a bright and shiny grin. “So glad you’ve made it back from the North Pole, Santa. We’ve got lots of excited children just bursting to see you!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Akemi leans in, an unwelcome mixture of tobacco and sweat washing over Amy, and it’s all she can do to not recoil in disgust as he lowers his voice. “I’m only interested in one thing, lady, and once I got it I’m outta here. But don’t you worry, there’ll be plenty of room on my sleigh for you.”

“Ok. I don’t give a damn about any Christmas magic, Ames. If he tries to make you kiss him under that mistletoe, I swear to god I will punch Santa right in the face.”

“Cool it, Peralta.” Terry’s clenching jaw is almost audible in his response, and Amy takes a slow and calming breath, safe in the knowledge that her squad most definitely has her back.

“Right. Yep. Cool it. Cool cool cooling it.” Each member of the team watches from their position as Santa saunters over to his seat, throwing several finger guns to waiting mothers as he goes; and Jake lets out a snort of disgust. “So … has everyone gotten their Secret Santa present organised yet? Rosa, you need some shopping tips?”

“No. Secret Santa is bullshit.”

“It’s a fun holiday tradition that you are definitely participating in and if you picked my name I’d really love a voucher for that sneaker store on 28th.”

“I don’t have you, Peralta.”

“Yep. No problemo. Just saying. In case you do.”

To her right, Amy notices Terry’s unmissable frame break through the crowd. “Heads up, guys. Looks like Santa’s buddy has found his way into the queue.” With his wooly beanie and scores of shopping bags clutched in his hands, their sergeant blended in relatively easily as just another father doing some last minute panic shopping; but they all knew one flex of his oversized muscles would break that facade fairly easily.

A silence falls over the comms as they watch Santa breeze through child after child, giving them barely any attention as his target draws closer; and slowly both Jake and Rosa close the gap from the other sides.

Pulling out a poorly wrapped parcel and handing the gift to Akemi, the unshaven man at the front of the queue feigns surprise when Santa reaches into the sack next to his throne, handing the supposed stranger an oversized bag of ‘candy canes’.

“There’s the exchange. Boyle, can you confirm you got the footage?”

“With a beautiful slow zoom that really captures the thrum of festive anticipation hovering amongst the crowd, sarge.”

Cringing slightly, Jake shakes his head at Charles’ description as his eyes follow the bag of candy canes, their new recipient now walking at a steady pace towards the exit. “We’re going to lose this guy if we don’t move now.”

“Go, Peralta. Diaz, you run backup. Amy and I will take care of Santa.”

With a grin, Jake breaks into a fast walk, already focused in his pursuit. “Alright, taking down a bad Santa in a public environment. Now it feels like Christmas!”

“We’re going to wait until Akemi has left the village, Peralta. You know, try not to break a bunch of children’s hearts?”

“You do you, Terry!”

There are still remnants of festive glitter in Amy’s hair as she and Jake walk up the stairs of their apartment building several hours later, both of them slightly weary from the hours of paperwork and debriefing that took place after Santa’s Village.

“Boy, bet thats the last time you come to the precinct and pick me up on your night off, huh Ames?” The apology is obvious in Jake’s tone, and Amy glances over her shoulder to give him a reassuring smile. Even if it hadn’t been in her original plan, she still got to spend the night hanging with her husband (although in a slightly different capacity than originally planned), and she was choosing to count that as a win. (A small win, but a win all the same.)

“Yeah, maybe.”

“I’m really sorry you got pulled into all of that, babe. I just didn’t see your message in time, or I would have … hey, Ames?” The touch of his hand against her forearm is gentle, pulling her in with the quiet strength she knows her husband to possess, and Amy turns towards Jake without hesitation. His eyes search her face, immediately seeing through her concealed defeat, and he really is the only one for her. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just …” she feels a blush rush over her cheeks again, suddenly feeling ridiculous as she thinks of how to divulge her secret plan. The underwire from the damn bra digs into her skin again as she squirms, and if tonight has taught Amy anything, it’s why lingerie like this is only designed to stay on until your partner rips it off seconds after reveal.

“Babe?”

“It just feels like forever since we’ve had a night at home, just the two of us.” Jake’s brows knit, and Amy leans in to rest both hands against her husbands chest. “And I know that work has been crazy lately, and that it’ll eventually calm down again, I just … I’d sorta planned on tonight going differently once you were home.”

“Oh god, and instead you ended up in a glittery elf costume with a creep leering at you.” Left hand slapping against his face in shame, Jake shakes his head in obvious frustration.

“I mean, we can mainly blame my FOMOW for that, babe. It doesn’t matter, really. If I hadn’t been there, you might have gotten home even later so when you think about it, it’s way better we - mmfph -” the rest of Amy’s argument stops in it’s tracks as Jake pulls her in for a kiss, the gentle but insistent press of his lips against hers casting any other thoughts far to the side.

The familiar touch of his hands as they roam against the outline of her butt causes Amy to melt entirely in Jake’s arms, resting her arms against his steady shoulders as her fingers slide into his hair. This - these tiny moments where the world seemed to fade away and all she could feel was Jake - was what she’d been craving for weeks.

Jake sighs against her lips, letting her tongue slip into his mouth as he shuffles ever so closer to her, and maybe he’d been missing this just as much as she.

“So,” Jake whispers as he pulls away from the kiss, leaning in to brush his lips against Amy’s once more. “Time to get this night back in track.” Another kiss. “What kind of plans did you make for us, Santiago?”

“Lets just say … the lingerie I’ve got on under here is going to blow your mind, Peralta.”

“Going to blow your mind, title of our sex tape.”

Amy nods, biting her lower lip as she steps out of Jake’s embrace, gesturing towards their apartment. “But it’s also really uncomfortable. C’mon, let's get inside before it ends up in the dumpster.”

Jake’s footsteps echo behind Amy’s, hands landing on her hips as she digs for the keys. “I’m declaring it now, Ames. Tomorrow night we’re both leaving early and staying in for movie night at home. Phones off, popcorn, everything for the full movie experience. We can watch Die Hard and Love Actually and Nightmare before Christmas …”

Amy’s nose crinkles at the last movie, unlocking their front door and tugging her husband through as it swings open. “Didn’t we watch that last one for Halloween?”

“I don’t care what you say, The Nightmare Before Christmas works for Christmas and Halloween!”

“Jake …”

“Christmas is literally in the title, babe!”

Pulling him closer, Amy takes a leaf out of her husband’s handbook, silencing him with a definitely not PG rated kiss now that the risk of being discovered by a neighbour had slimmed to none.

Jake’s arms wrap around her middle in response, holding Amy close as her fingers begin to trace the edge of his buttons, and she lets out a sigh of satisfaction that finally her initial plan was coming to fruition.

Next time, though, she might add a sub-section into the binder about potential diversions, and how to avoid them (not join them) - FOMOW be damned. This stuff was way more fun.

#my writing #very delayed #peraltiago Christmas #pre-mac #sorry anon #undercover peraltiago taking down bad guys #b99 fic #b99 fanfic #peraltiago fic #peraltiago fluff #jake x amy fic #not tagging the prompts as its too long ago

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lovemesomerafael · 5 years ago

Text

There For Each Other

This was my gift for LittleBlackSubmarine on AO3 for Barisi Gift Exchange 2019.

Rafael Barba sat in his office, feet up on his desk as always, looking at his phone. To all the world, he looked like he was working, which was the point. He wanted everyone to think he could just shake off his loss and go back to work without a backward glance.

He couldn’t. Not even close. Rafael was devastated. He often said that there is no such thing as a slam dunk case, but if there ever had been, this was it. And yet, at ten o’clock this morning when the jury had announced it had reached a verdict and everyone had hurried back to the courtroom, it was only to hear that the verdict was a staggering “Not Guilty” on every count. Every single fucking count.

The son of a bitch was probably sitting somewhere right now, having a celebratory cocktail and planning his next child rape. Rafael was the one who was supposed to be sitting somewhere with a celebratory cocktail. He and the SVU squad. Instead, they’d all given him their best “you did what you could” looks and slunk away, he was sure, to shake their heads and whisper to each other, wondering how he could have fucked up such an easy case.

No, Rafael wasn’t working. He was doing what he did in his darkest moments, when he most needed solace and comfort and to believe that life is good. He was scrolling through his wedding pictures. Once, in a tipsy, romantic moment of uncharacteristic self-revelation, he’d told Sonny he did this at such times, and Sonny had looked at him as if he’d put the stars in the sky. Of course, Sonny looked at him like that most of the time, but the knowledge that Rafael found in pictures of their wedding a safe harbor from even his deepest hurt had overwhelmed Sonny. He often thought it wasn’t possible to love Rafael more. Rafael constantly found ways to make him do it anyway.

Rafael contemplated the posed pictures taken by the photographer: the ones with just the two of them, with Sonny’s family, with Rafael’s family, Sonny and Rafael with just their parents. Then he looked at the candid ones taken during the wedding and at the reception. He saved his favorite for last. He always did.

His favorite picture of his and Sonny’s wedding was a picture taken by one of Rafael’s cousins. In it, Sonny and Rafael are standing in front of the priest, who is pronouncing them married. Although they couldn’t be married in the Church, despite both being lifelong Catholics, Sonny’s parish priest could marry them civilly, and he was happy to do it. The thing Rafael loved about this picture, the thing he could stare at forever, was the look on Sonny’s face as he held Rafael’s hands and gazed into his eyes. All of Sonny’s love was shining there for the world to see, making Sonny look like an angel glowing from within. Sonny said that Rafael was looking at him the same way, which he supposed was true, but he only cared how Sonny was looking at him. This picture, taken the very moment they were married, was proof positive of Sonny’s love for him, and Rafael needed that right now.

Rafael sighed and took a long drink of his coffee. He thought about the days before he and Sonny had found the courage to admit their feelings for one another. And then, for a moment, he was able to actually smile, thinking about the day that changed everything.

That day, he got a call from Olivia Benson, asking him to check on Carisi. Carisi had been beat up pretty good by a perp and the squad was still chasing down the perp’s accomplice. They hadn’t been able to spare someone to take Carisi to the hospital, although he’d promised to go. A uniformed cop had agreed to take him, and Olivia and the rest of the squad had been forced to accept that as good enough because they were hot on the heels of the accomplice. Something hadn’t sat right with Olivia – probably because she knew Carisi – and the first free moment she’d had, she’d checked with the uniform. Sure enough, Carisi had talked the uniform into skipping the hospital and driving him back to the precinct. Hence the call to Barba. The squad couldn’t be there to make Carisi go to the hospital, so Olivia had asked for his help.

Rafael hadn’t been happy about it. Why would he be? Yeah, Carisi was a good cop. He had enviable undercover and interrogation skills. But he treated Rafael like a teen idol. Carisi was eager and hungry to learn, he hung on Rafael’s every word, he challenged him when he felt confident enough, and he tried to impress Rafael at every opportunity. All of that was deeply annoying. Especially because Rafael was helplessly, painfully attracted to him.

Everything about Sonny Carisi was sexy. Every time he so much as picked up a pen, Rafael had to look at those long fingers and brutally crush the thoughts that roared into his head. The way Carisi moved his long limbs made Rafael think of being wrapped in those limbs every stinking time he saw Carisi, and it was an enormous pain in the ass. So he took every opportunity to insult Carisi, to treat him as though his being in law school was a joke and his every legal insight beneath contempt. But it didn’t work. It had never worked. Carisi was simply not willing to be insulted. It was as though he could see right through Rafael to the reason for his snark, and Rafael resented it. He resented it because it scared him, although he hadn’t known that then.

So when he had to take time out of his day to go over to the precinct and make Carisi behave like a responsible adult, he was cranky and ready to lay into him.

Until he saw him.

Carisi was sitting at his desk, jacket and tie thrown thoughtlessly across the chair next to it, holding a bloody cloth to the left side of his forehead and wincing as he squinted at his computer screen. He was pale and sweaty, obviously in pain. As soon as he saw Barba, he tried to relax his face, but it was too late. As Barba got closer, he noted the split, swollen lip and the cut underneath Carisi’s left eye, which had a gauze pad taped to it that appeared saturated with blood. Carisi would undoubtedly have a nice shiner in the morning. He was also favoring his right side.

Barba picked up his jacket and tie and said, simply, “Let’s go.”

Carisi tried to look innocent and confused, but Barba wasn’t having it. “You’re going to the hospital, and you have two choices. You can walk out of here with me right now, without any argument, or I can get a couple of these officers to cuff you and drag you out. Choice one, you can ride shotgun. Choice two, you’ll be in the trunk.”

“Who pissed in your corn flakes?” Carisi asked, looking back at his computer screen in a vain attempt to dismiss Barba.

“Cuffs and trunk it is.” Barba walked over to where three uniformed officers were talking near the coffee pots.

“What the hell, Barba? I’m fine. I don’t need-“

Barba ignored him and began to instruct the officers that Lieutenant Benson had given orders to take Detective Carisi to the hospital, however they had to get him there. Sonny, knowing when he was overmatched, sighed deeply, slammed his laptop closed, and stood. Instantly, the world went a dark, wobbly grey and his ears were filled with a low, dull whine that shut out all other sound. The next thing he knew, he was sitting on his desk chair with an officer on either side, and Barba kneeling in front of him, looking into his eyes.

Barba had one hand on Sonny’s right thigh, and the other was gently, tenderly pushing his hair back from his forehead.

“OK, just take a minute,” Barba said, in a voice so caring, Sonny would never have believed him capable of it. For a moment, they all just stayed like that while Barba stroked Sonny’s hair, and Sonny tried to bring the world back into focus.

“Do you want us to walk you out to my car, or do you think we should get you an ambulance?” Sonny thought that kind, patient voice was coming from Rafael Barba, but he was pretty sure that was a hallucination from the blows to his head. He really didn’t feel too good.

“I can walk.”

“Let me know when you’re ready to try. We’ll help you up.”

“Quit babyin’ me. I’m not hurt.”

“Quit lying to me. I’m not dumb.”

Sonny actually had to smile at that. Yeah, it was really Barba.

“A’right, maybe I could use a hand, just in case I get dizzy again.”

Barba got to his feet and stooped, putting an arm under each of Carisi’s so that he was basically hugging him, and helped him to his feet. A less dramatic version of the previous dizzy spell ensued, and Carisi leaned hard on Barba, who tightened his arms and just stood holding him until it passed.

“You’re sure you don’t want an ambulance?” Barba’s voice was low and soft, all concern.

“No. Please. I don’t wanna… Just let me lean on you.”

The slow walk to the elevator was surreal for both Carisi and Barba, because Barba had his shoulder under Carisi’s arm and his arm tightly around Carisi’s waist, and was holding Carisi’s hand to keep Carisi’s arm around his shoulders. When they reached the elevators, they stood there like that, Carisi leaning on Barba enough that Barba was fairly concerned. Nonetheless, he thanked the officers and told them that he could manage Carisi on his own.

In the elevator, they stayed holding each other, although Barba had Carisi braced against the wall. Rafael noticed that a streak of blood was now leaking from the gauze under Carisi’s eye. Without a thought, he picked the pocket square from his jacket, gently pulled the soaked gauze free, and pressed the lavender fabric to the cut. Jesus y Santa Maria. That was going to need some stitches. What had he been thinking, just going back to the precinct house?

They rode the elevator to the parking garage underneath the station. Fortunately, Barba had gotten lucky with parking and it wasn’t far from the elevator to his car. He helped Carisi all the way into the car and stayed with him until he was belted in before going around to the drivers’ side. Carisi leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes.

“Thank you,” he muttered.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know I got knocked in the head, but I don’t think that’s the proper response.”

Rafael bit down on his anger, and it was anger. Carisi was seriously hurt, and his need to be macho instead of taking care of things had probably cost him a scar on his face and God knew what kind of neurological damage that could have been avoided if he’d just gone to the hospital in the first place. A scar wasn’t such a big deal, but what if he had intracranial bleeding? And he was clearly protecting the right side of his chest. What if he had internal injuries? Broken ribs? What if he was really badly hurt? Rafael kept telling himself how stupid Carisi had been and how annoyed he, Rafael, was by this interruption in his day, which was looking like it would last a while. He worked hard to ignore the knowledge that what he was feeling was more than that.

When they got to the hospital, Barba barked at Carisi to stay in the car, then ran in and raised Cain until a number of Emergency Department personnel rushed out to help Carisi out of the car and onto a gurney. They whisked Carisi back into a treatment room, leaving Rafael standing near the reception desk feeling cast adrift. He looked around, having no idea what he was supposed to do now. All he knew was that he wasn’t leaving Carisi.

“Sir?” A woman wearing scrubs tried to get his attention.

“Yes.”

“If you’d like to give me your name and take a seat in the waiting room, I can let you know when you can see your, uh… husband? Boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Rafael snapped. It was easier than explaining, and it meant he’d have a better chance of getting information.

“Would you like to wait, or…?”

“Yes.” He gave the woman his name and commenced the longest, most tensely annoyed hour of his life. He sat in a ridiculously uncomfortable plastic chair with a television blaring inanity and a room full of adults ignoring the flock of children wreaking havoc and causing an intolerable amount of noise. After that hour, Rafael’s patience snapped. He stood, turned to where the pack of feral children were gathered, and snapped his fingers as loudly as he could. The powerful click had an instantaneous effect. Every child turned to him and froze, wide-eyed and ready to be scolded.

“Sit!” He snarled, and they did. From the corner of his eye, he caught the now-silent children shooting fearful looks at him while he worked his phone and tried not to grin.

Sonny was quickly stripped of everything but his underwear, and put into a clean, starched hospital gown. He felt like an utter jackass, but he had to admit his shirt and slacks were pretty badly stained with blood. After his nurse, a small, thin black man in rumpled scrubs, took his vital signs, Sonny settled down for what he was sure was going to be a long wait. He checked his phone. As expected, there were messages. Two were phone messages from Lieutenant Benson, and there were a bunch of texts from Dodds and Rollins. He decided his head would explode if he tried to deal with those, so he simply texted Rollins.

Sonny Carisi: Benson sent Barba to force me to go to the ER. Here now. All fine except Barba wants to kill me.

Sonny laid back and closed his eyes, knowing that Amanda would tell the rest of the team he was at the hospital and OK. Only a few seconds later, however, he heard his phone ping with a return text.

Amanda: Perp carjacked an old Asian guy who clocked him with a dead chicken. In pursuit now. Dodds driving like my grandma. This is what you miss when you get yourself beat up.

Amanda: Also don’t worry, Barba wants to kill everyone.

Sonny couldn’t help grinning. He would much rather have been in pursuit of the perp than here in a ridiculous getup cooling his heels. And he was sincerely sorry to have missed the old guy and the chicken.

The nurse and the doctor came in then, and the doctor began a thorough examination of all of Sonny’s injuries. She was a compact blonde with short, frizzy hair, and looked very young. The nurse stood by with a computer tablet, typing in what the doctor told him about her findings.

“By the way,” the nurse said, “your boyfriend is in the waiting room. We’ll let him know when he can come back and see you.”

“My…”

The doctor began shining a light in Sonny’s eyes and he decided it wasn’t worth correcting them.

At last, a man Rafael assumed was Carisi’s nurse called his name, and led him through a set of large wooden doors on automatic hinges and down a hall to the treatment room where Carisi, now properly bandaged and wearing a hospital gown rather than his bloody shirt, lay sleepily on the gurney.

The nurse explained that the doctor would be in momentarily to give them discharge instructions. He left them alone and Rafael turned to Carisi, asking none too gently, “So? How bad is it?”

“I got a concussion and ten stitches. Few bruised ribs, nothing broken.”

Rafael made himself ask, “How do you feel?”

“Sore and sick, and kinda stupid. I’m sure I’m gonna get a lecture from the Lieu.”

“You’re gonna get a lecture from me. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking I have a job to do, and I’d appreciate it if you’d back off, all right? I’m really not in the mood for your shit.”

Rafael started. He’d never heard Carisi swear, let alone snap at him. Suddenly, he wasn’t sure how to feel. He wanted to be irritated, but this was so uncharacteristic of Carisi that, instead, he was back to being worried.

Moments later, the doctor hurried into the room, tablet computer in hand. Rafael thought she looked like a child and instantly wanted to ask to see her credentials and her drivers’ license. He settled for the fact that her white jacket said “M.D.” after her name, but only because he just wanted to get out of here, take Carisi home, and get back to work.

The doctor shook Rafael’s hand quickly and perfunctorily before getting back to her tablet. “I’m willing to discharge you, Mr. Carisi, since you’re so determined, but I want to tell you again that I strongly recommend you let us keep you overnight for observation.”

“No.”

Rafael had never heard Carisi sound quite so… final.

“Right. So here’s the deal. You need to take it easy for the next forty-eight hours. And by ‘easy’, I mean bedrest. You have a pretty good concussion. As for the rest, you’re gonna feel worse before you feel better; those bruises are just the beginning. I’m sending you home with something for the pain, but you also need to get a good soak in a hot bath with Epsom salts tonight, and again each day until you start to feel less sore. No work, Detective. I mean it. Desk duty for at least a week, but not for the next two days. For the next two days you’re in bed.”

Appearances can be deceiving, Rafael thought. This “child” had some teeth. But she wasn’t through.

“I happen to know your Lieutenant; she’s been the responding detective for some assault victims I’ve treated. I’ve already called her. So don’t bother trying to go in to the precinct.” She turned to Rafael. “You’re gonna need to keep a close eye on him for the next twenty-four hours. If he gets nauseous, if you’re not able to wake him up, if he has a severe headache, or if his pupils are different sizes, I want you to bring him right back here.”

“But-“

“If you have to sit on him to keep him in bed, do it.”

“No, you don’t understand-“

“All right. Here are the care instructions.” She handed a sheaf of papers to Rafael. “Your boyfriend is a very stubborn man, and he really ought to stay here overnight. So you need to be smarter than he is and make him follow instructions. Any questions?”

“I-“

“All right. You can help him get dressed and the nurse will be in with his discharge papers in a few minutes.” With that, the doctor swept from the room.

“I don’t have a bathtub.”

Rafael slowly, disbelievingly turned to face Carisi, who lay on the gurney with his eyes closed, a hand to his forehead. “What?”

“I can’t take baths, I don’t have a bathtub.”

Rafael squeezed his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This isn’t happening. “Where are your clothes?”

Carisi opened his eyes and sat up, swinging his impossibly long legs over the edge of the gurney. “I got it,” he sighed.

Rafael watched as Carisi immediately regretted sitting up so fast, and grasped the edge of the gurney for support. “Right.”

He looked around, saw Carisi’s clothes on a chair on the other side of the room and went to pick them up.

“I can dress myself,” Carisi grouched. “I don’t need your help.”

“Detective, I do not have time for pretty much any of this.” He laid the clothes down next to Carisi and picked up his shirt. “So just shut up and take off that hospital gown. Let’s get this over with.”

When Carisi untied the gown and pulled it down his arms, Barba got his first look at the deep red bruise covering half the right side of his chest. He sucked in his breath. “Dios mio!”

Carisi said nothing, just reached out for his shirt, which Barba didn’t hand him. Instead, he held it out so that Carisi could slip his arm in the sleeve, and then pulled it around him and held it so he could slide his other arm in. He let Carisi deal with the buttons, since that didn’t involve any effort, then held his pants down near his feet so he could slide his legs in. Rafael was grateful that he hadn’t found Carisi’s underwear in the pile of clothes. He really didn’t want to have to deal with helping him with that. It was bad enough having to pull his slacks up those ridiculous legs – which actually were more muscular than Rafael had expected, now that he saw them uncovered – until Carisi could reach them, pull them the rest of the way up and deal with his own zipper and belt.

Barba had to put Carisi’s socks on for him. Carisi started to complain, but Barba just gave him a withering scowl and said, “You really want to bend down right now? How’s that going to feel on your head or your chest?”

Sonny frowned and rolled his eyes, but let Barba put on his socks and shoes. He felt like a damn baby, and he didn’t like it at all. He felt so shitty, though, that he just wanted to get home to bed, and if he had to endure this humiliation to get there, so be it.

The nurse came in with discharge papers, which he gave to Barba, and made Carisi get into a wheelchair. Again Carisi started to complain. Again, Barba was having none of it. “Sit your ass down, Detective. You want out of here, or not?”

At long last, they were in Barba’s car and away from the hospital. Carisi leaned his head back against the headrest again, with his eyes closed, as Barba drove to the nearest drug store to pick up the list of things Carisi needed: bandages, antibiotic ointment, and Epsom salts, among other things. Carisi stirred when the car stopped, but Barba simply grumbled, “Sit. I got it.”

Back with the supplies, Barba drove to his apartment. Carisi, eyes closed, hadn’t noticed until he felt the car angle down into the garage below Barba’s building.

“Where are we?” He mumbled.

“My building.”

“Why?”

“You don’t have a damn bathtub.”

“No, I-“

“Shut up.” Barba got out of the car and took the bag of drug store supplies from the back seat. He was around to the passenger side before Carisi had the door open.

“Just take me home. I’ll call my Ma, she’ll-“

“She’ll let you walk all over her and tell her you’re fine and she won’t make you go back to the hospital if you get worse. She also can’t manufacture a bathtub. I don’t like this any more than you do, Carisi, but this is what’s happening, so let’s do this. Let me get an arm under you…”

Sonny felt like crap, he really did. He was sore, he was a little woozy from the pain meds, and he had a bitch of a headache. He figured the quickest way to be able to just lay down and sleep was to go along with Barba. Besides, he wasn’t sure he could have made Barba take him home even if he was at his best, and he sure the hell wasn’t at his best right now. He would never admit it, but he also was a little glad that Barba was here. His Ma would fuss and worry and he’d end up having to try to make her feel better about his being hurt. Barba would just put him in bed and forget him, which is what he wanted right now. Another time, the idea of Barba putting him to bed might have been extremely interesting, but right now, he found the bed part more enticing than the Barba part.

He let Barba help him gingerly exit the car, and obediently kept his arm around Barba’s shoulders as they made their way to the elevator. Sonny wished he didn’t feel so lousy, or he’d have enjoyed the hell out of walking with his arm around Barba.

Once inside Barba’s apartment, he woke up a little. Hurt or not, Sonny wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to see where Barba lived. He was surprised. He’d expected an expensively decorated, immaculate lair, something like Barba’s suits in the form of an apartment. Instead, it was a home. The furniture was more upscale than Carisi’s own, but it was built for comfort more than style, and the décor was more Better Homes & Gardens than Architectural Digest. Sonny liked it. It felt comfortable. It looked lived-in, too, with a few books and magazines scattered around, a used coffee mug and plate full of crumbs on the wide ottoman in front of the couch, and other signs of casual habitation. He liked that it wasn’t pristine. It made Barba seem more human.

Barba had led him to his couch and instructed him to rest while he took care of some things. A while later, Sonny was surprised to see him come back into his living room in shirtsleeves with his tie gone and a few shirt buttons undone. Sonny had apparently dozed a bit.

“OK, it’s ready. Come on,” Barba said, leaning down to put an arm behind Sonny to help him up.

Sonny expected Barba to lead him to a guest room, but instead he was led into Barba’s own room, where Sonny could hear water running in the adjoining bathroom. He was surprised to find that Barba had run a bath in a surprisingly large and deep bathtub. The steam in the room told him that the water was hot, and he could see a good-sized bag of Epsom salts on the floor next to the tub. There were fluffy-looking towels and a tan terry-cloth robe laid out on the counter.

“You didn’t have to do all this.”

“According to your doctor, I did. Shut up and unbutton your shirt.”

“Are you… I’m not…”

“Carisi? Just don’t, all right? Do what I say.”

Despite how he felt, Sonny grinned at that. Strangely, he appreciated Barba’s cranky bedside manner. He liked it a lot better than his Ma’s fussing, and he also knew, from the way Barba had spoken to him when he’d almost passed out at the precinct and the effort he was making now, that it was more or less a front. Just like pretending he didn’t enjoy Sonny’s hero-worship of him or recognize when Sonny made a good legal point.

But this was about to get awkward. He could probably get his clothes off, but he was none too steady on his feet, and he wasn’t sure about getting into and out of the bathtub. Still, a hot bath sounded so good to him right now; a soak of his sore chest muscles and the rest of the aches and bruises from the fight would be wonderful. He obediently pulled his shirt out of the waistband of his pants and unbuttoned it. Barba moved behind him and pulled it off his arms from the back. Sonny had to admit, that would’ve been hard to do without him. He worked off his shoes without untying them, but only to delay the inevitable. He decided to pretend he was in a locker room. He’d just undress, and let Barba deal with it however he was going to.

Rafael dealt with it by pretending it was the most normal thing in the world to have Sonny Carisi standing in his bathroom, shucking his pants. He leaned down and pulled his slacks, including underwear this time, off his feet while Carisi leaned on him for balance. He pulled Carisi’s socks off at the same time.

Both pretending nothing was out of the ordinary, Barba supported Carisi while he stepped gingerly into the bathtub and slowly, carefully eased himself down into the almost too hot water. Both wished there were bubbles or something to cover Carisi’s nakedness, but neither gave any outward sign. Once Carisi was lying back in the tub, Barba stood back and repositioned the towels for somewhere to focus his attention.

“I’m making you some chamomile tea,” he said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Call me if you need something. I’ll hear you.”

“Mmm-hmmm,” Sonny answered, eyes closed. He was glad Barba was leaving the room, not only because of the discomfort of such a strange situation, but also because the bath felt fabulous and he wanted to luxuriate in it for a while by himself. He looked down at his chest. The bruise had darkened even from earlier at the hospital, and was now a dark purple. He reached up and touched the bandage over the stitched cut on his face. It was tender, but not too bad. His split lip hurt worse.

What the fuck am I doing? Rafael felt as dazed as Carisi was. Carisi. Who was, at this moment, buck naked in Rafael’s bathtub. He didn’t know what else he could possibly have done, but this situation was bizarre, and Rafael had absolutely no idea how to feel. He’d been too focused on Carisi’s safety to have any embarrassing reaction to his nudity, but Rafael had looked. Of course he’d looked. And now he had that in his head. He filled his tea kettle and tried to figure out how he was going to get through the next forty-eight hours.

Ten minutes later, Rafael returned with a steaming mug of tea, which he set next to Carisi on the edge of the tub. He studiously avoided looking anywhere but Carisi’s face. “You need anything else?”

“No. I’m good.”

“All right. I’m going to be in the next room, so just call out if you need anything. Otherwise, I’ll be back in half an hour to help you out. OK?”

“OK.”

Rafael gratefully headed toward the door. He was just about to close it behind him when he heard Carisi mumble, “Thank you.”

“You’re an idiot,” he responded, the kindness and humor in his voice belying the words. He heard Carisi chuckle as he closed the door.

Half an hour later, Barba had changed the sheets on his bed and was knocking quietly on the door to the bathroom. “You ready to get out?”

“I guess.”

Carisi was already pushing himself to a standing position using the sides of the bathtub by the time Barba got there, so he grabbed a towel and handed it to Carisi when he was on his feet. Carisi was able to hold it strategically while Barba helped him over the side of the tub and onto the bath mat. The purpose of the terry cloth robe was so that Barba didn’t have to help Carisi dry himself off. Some things were just not possible. He simply held the robe behind Carisi and helped him slide his arms into it. All Barba had to do was dry Carisi’s feet and lower legs for him.

Ten minutes later, Sonny was snugly settled in Barba’s bed. It was shockingly comfortable – apparently, Barba had expensive taste in sheets as well as clothing – and after the hot bath, Sonny found himself feeling very sleepy.

“Call if you need something,” Barba said in that tender, gentle voice he’d used earlier at the precinct. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time for more pain medicine.”

“But if I’m asleep…”

Barba stopped halfway to the door and turned around. “Don’t argue with me. Anyway, I have to make sure I can wake you up, remember?”

“Whatever. Good night.” Carisi turned painfully on his left side and settled further under the covers.

“Good night.”

“Hey… Barba?”

“Don’t thank me any more,” Barba grouched from the doorway.

“No… I was just gonna ask, why are you doin’ this?”

“I have no earthly idea,” Barba sighed. “Go to sleep.”

Sonny was shocked to be awakened by Rafael Barba, and to find himself in Barba’s bed wearing nothing but Barba’s robe. He was also shocked at how bad his head and chest hurt. He took the pills Barba gave him and asked what time it was.

“It’s five thirty. Do you want me to make you something for dinner?”

“I… That’s nice of you, but I’m really not hungry. I think I’d just like to sleep.”

“If you change your mind later, I can always make something then.”

“Thank-“

“Don’t say it.”

The doorbell was a surprise. Rafael was trying to do the work he hadn’t been able to get to while he was with Carisi at the hospital, and he wasn’t expecting anyone. He sighed and went reluctantly to look out his peephole, and was annoyed to see Amanda Rollins and Mike Dodds at his door. Fuck. Not only had Carisi blown up his workday and taken over his bed, now he was having houseguests.

“What can I do for you?” Rafael’s tone was intentionally aloof and irritated. He really hoped he wasn’t expected to let them in.

“The Lieutenant said that Carisi was here,” Dodds said, trying to look past Rafael.

Rollins asked, “Can we see him?”

“He’s asleep. He has a concussion, Detective, which is not a condition that’s helped by entertaining guests.”

Was that a smirk she was hiding? “We’re not guests, Barba. We’re family. Can I just peek in on him? He’s my partner. I’ve been really worried all day.”

“You get the guy?” Rafael asked, as though it was a condition for being allowed in.

“Yeah,” Dodds answered, standing expectantly and crowding the doorway. “Benson and Fin are finishing the paperwork now.”

Rafael sighed. They weren’t going away. Well, if they expected refreshments, they were going to be sorely disappointed.

“Fine. Rollins, you can just peek in on him, but don’t wake him up. I just gave him some more pain pills an hour ago and he said he wants to sleep.”

Amanda beamed a sweet smile at him, and all but pushed past him into his apartment. She was hungrily eyeing everything, as though absorbing all the details of Barba’s apartment so she could remember it. Which was, of course, exactly what she was doing.

“Door at the end of the hall.”

Rafael briefly considered closing the door and making Dodds wait in the hallway, but he actually didn’t mind Dodds much, so he waved him in and shut the door. While Rollins was looking in on Carisi, Dodds filled Barba in on the events of the day. By the time he was done, and had gotten the details of Carisi’s injuries from Barba, Rollins was back.

“He’s really out.”

“I believe that’s what I said,” Barba muttered.

Again, he could swear that Rollins was smothering a grin. “Well, thank you for letting me look in on him,” she said, with all the sweetness she could muster. “It looks like you’re taking really good care of him.”

“I’m not… It was not my idea or my intention to take care of your partner, Detective. Someone had to keep an eye on his condition, because he refused to stay in the hospital.”

“Of course,” she agreed.

“Well, I won’t keep you,” Rafael said, dismissing them as he opened his apartment door.

Dodds and Rollins managed not to make eye contact, which neither of them would have been able to do without laughing, as they shuffled out into the hallway.

“Let us know if he needs anything,” Dodds said.

Barba made a noncommittal sound as he closed the door behind them.

Dodds and Rollins made it to the stairway before they started laughing.

“I’m so gonna win,” Rollins said.

“No, you’re not. He’s pissed as hell. There’s no way they screw.”

“Says you. I’m already spendin’ that fifty bucks you’re gonna owe me when they do.”

“Not happening. You’re gonna owe me.”

“Barba is not actually gonna murder Carisi.”

“That’s not the bet. Any physical injury and I win. That’s the bet.”

The next time Sonny awoke, it was dark and he could hear Barba moving around in the room.

“What time is it,” Sonny croaked.

“After ten. It’s time for some more pain medicine, if you want it.”

“I think so.”

Barba came over to the side of the bed and turned on the lamp on the table. He shook two pills from the bottle and helped Sonny sit up to take them. Barba was wearing a scruffy Harvard T-shirt and thin, old-looking sweatpants. Sonny was amused to see him in something more casual than he would ever have guessed Barba owned.

“Dodds and Rollins stopped by. They’re worried about you. And I talked to Liv. She thinks I should be canonized for taking care of you.”

“You’d make a lousy saint.”

“Don’t I know it. You need anything else?”

“No, I’m good.”

Barba turned out the light and, to Sonny’s amazement, he felt the mattress move as Barba got in with him. It was a king-sized bed, but it still felt stunningly intimate to be sharing it. Somehow, he must have communicated his surprise to Barba.

“If I had a guest room, Detective, you’d be in it. Only reason you’re not on the couch is you’re too long for it. Which, under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t think twice about, but you’re hurt. And I’m not giving up my bed for anyone.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Good. Don’t. And one more thing. Snore, and you’re on the fire escape in a sleeping bag, hurt or not.”

It was a long time before either of them fell asleep, although they both laid still and silent as though unconscious instantly.

Rafael awakened early, roused from sleep by the unusual sensation of someone else in his bed. He suddenly remembered that it was Carisi, of all people on the planet, and he wanted to jump up immediately. Something made him hesitate, though. He could hear from Carisi’s deep, even breathing that he was still asleep, and Rafael couldn’t resist taking the opportunity to look over at him.

Carisi was facing him, face quiet and peaceful, hair an adorable mess. He was so damn cute Rafael felt himself smile and, for many minutes, he simply lay there and watched Carisi sleep. His eye was fully blackened now, but it was impossible to tell how swollen it was until he tried to open it. Right this minute, Rafael didn’t want him to do that. He just wanted to enjoy the delicious novelty of the outlandish, never-to-be-repeated experience of waking up in bed with Sonny Carisi. Pretty, goofy, unexpectedly brilliant, lovable Sonny Carisi. On that note, Rafael slipped out of bed and got dressed before he could make a fool of himself.

By the time Sonny woke up, Barba was already out of bed. Sonny had been intensely curious to see what Barba looked like in the morning, but when Barba came into the bedroom to offer Sonny a cup of coffee, Sonny wasn’t surprised to find him already fully dressed. Somehow, he’d known Barba wouldn’t let himself be that vulnerable, bed-sharing or not. Barba made another trip into the kitchen and returned with a plate filled with eggs, bacon, and toast, which he helped Sonny sit up to eat.

Sonny was more sore than he’d been the night before. The problem was, he couldn’t sleep anymore. The good news was that he could now get up and walk without dizziness. Thankfully, that meant he was able to navigate getting into and out of the bath himself. He took another long, hot soak in the Epsom salts and felt much better.

Barba wouldn’t let him do anything afterwards, but at least he let him get up to the couch so he could watch television. Surprisingly, Barba had every movie channel and streaming service known to man. He didn’t seem like much of a TV watcher, and when Sonny asked about it, he confirmed that he wasn’t. He said that, when he did want to watch something, he could never find anything worth watching, so he liked a lot of choices. Which sounded so much like Barba that Sonny believed him.

Rafael was working from home so he could make sure Carisi obeyed the doctor’s orders. He was very grateful Carisi could now bathe on his own, because Rafael needed no repeat of the day before. Today he wasn’t sure he’d be able to be as clinical as he’d been last evening. Carisi was wearing a pair of his shorts, because none of his pants would have come close to being long enough, with a T-shirt and a hoodie Rafael had forgotten he even owned. It was cute enough to see him wearing Rafael’s clothes, but it was Carisi’s hair, free of gel and falling over his forehead, that was doing things to Rafael’s insides. He couldn’t even be as surly as he intended to because he was so tempted to reach out and run his hands through it.

Sonny was having similar problems. He felt better after a long, hot soak in a bath liberally laced with Epsom salts and a couple of pain pills, which left him free to pay attention to other bodily sensations. One of them was the simmering heat he was starting to feel being here with Barba. Sonny watched him, sitting at the heavy, carved-wood table in his dining area and concentrating on his laptop. Barba was really ridiculously handsome. His thick, dark hair and deep green eyes were a lethal combination, and seeing him here in his home, wearing jeans and a soft-looking pullover, made Sonny realize just how attracted he was to Barba.

Barba must have felt Sonny’s eyes on him. He looked up. “You need something?” He looked at his watch. “Oh, it’s time for pain medicine.”

Barba got up and went into this bedroom, returning with the bottle of pills. He handed them to Carisi and went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. When Carisi had taken the pills, Barba sat on the edge of the large ottoman in front of the couch. “I want to take a look at that eye and that cut,” he explained, seeming a bit flustered.

He looked at the black eye, swollen about halfway shut, the split lip, and the stitched cut on Carisi’s cheek that no longer had a bandage on it after Carisi’s bath. It was longer than Barba had realized. “Is that going to leave a scar?” He asked softly.

“Doctor says maybe a slight one, won’t be noticeable unless you’re lookin’ for it.” Carisi was speaking a little softly, too. Was something… happening between them?

“Let’s see that bruise,” Barba said.

Sonny sat up a little more and lowered the blanket covering him, pulling up his T-shirt to expose the now fully-developed bruise. It covered more than half the right side of his chest and it was a dark, almost black color, deeper in the middle but still a mottled black on the edges. Rafael swore in Spanish and, without a thought, reached out and tenderly touched it with just the tips of his fingers, ever-so-lightly stroking across it.

The effect on Sonny was instant. He had never before experienced a hot flash and goosebumps simultaneously, but he did then, and he felt that touch deep in his groin. He hissed in his breath, causing Barba to snatch his hand back from Sonny’s chest. He looked into Sonny’s eyes.

“Did I hurt you?”

For a second, long enough to realize it was happening, Sonny just looked into Barba’s lovely green eyes. He shook his head slightly. “No. You didn’t hurt me.”

“I…” Barba began, in that quiet, caring voice Sonny still couldn’t believe existed. “That looks painful.”

“The meds help. The baths, too.” Their eyes were still locked. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I am grateful to you for everything. Thanks for bein’ there for me.”

“You’re welcome, Sonny.”

Barba had never once called him Sonny. He hadn’t yet recovered from the touch, he absolutely couldn’t look away, and now Barba had called him Sonny. He felt a rush of heat through his body, which pooled down low, coupled with a surge of lightning through his gut. “You’re nicer than you want people to know.”

“No, I’m not. I just… You’re hurt.” Rafael looked down, but he didn’t move. He wasn’t sure he could, and he really didn’t want to. That was want he was seeing in Carisi’s eyes. Even with the one being swollen, Barba knew it as well as he knew his own name.

“You like me more than you want people to know, too,” Carisi murmured.

“Do you… I could make you lunch.”

“I don’t want lunch,” Sonny said, and now his voice carried as much want as his eyes did. He had never seen Barba look like this: soft, vulnerable. Interested.

“What do you want?”

Sonny swallowed. He knew he was going to do it. Terrified of the outcome as he suddenly was, he was more afraid of letting this moment pass. “I want you to kiss me.”

Barba’s eyes were back on his. He frowned a little. “I don’t think… I…”

As Sonny listened to Barba stammer and grope for words for the first time since he’d known him, he knew that he wasn’t misreading anything about this situation. So he reached out and took one of Barba’s hands in his. “Just kiss me.”

Rafael was disconcerted. Where had this come from? All he’d meant to do was check on Carisi’s wounds, but suddenly he’d been pulled in by those insanely blue eyes of Carisi’s, and his soft hair falling over his forehead rather than carefully arranged, making him look younger and more vulnerable…

He felt himself letting Carisi pull him toward the couch, felt himself shifting his weight and pivoting on his feet so he was sitting next to Carisi, felt himself reach up with one finger to touch Carisi’s split lip. “Your lip is cut.”

“My lip is fine,” Carisi whispered, sliding his arm behind Rafael and using his other hand to softly touch Rafael’s jaw with his fingers and gently, almost imperceptibly urge him closer. “Kiss me.”

Rafael tried to be gentle when Carisi leaned in and touched his lips to Rafael’s. It felt like the right thing to do, not only because of Carisi’s injury but also because he felt extremely wary about what was happening. This was Sonny Carisi. This was the man he hadn’t been able to get out of his head for months. This was… Rafael’s thoughts began to muddle.

Carisi’s lips felt as good as they looked. Rafael cradled Carisi’s uninjured cheek as Carisi, perhaps trying to show him that his lip wasn’t too injured for this, pressed his mouth harder to Rafael’s. The kiss was perfect. Carisi clearly knew what he was doing – his lips were firm, with just the right amount of moisture and the slightest hint of things to come. Rafael’s body forgot his surprise at Carisi asking to be kissed, and began to respond to the kiss, instead. He felt and heard himself utter a soft moan, at which Carisi teased his lower lip with a tiny flick of his tongue.

Rafael’s groin filled with tense, delicious heat as he relaxed his mouth just a bit and felt Carisi take advantage of his receptive softening to lick a definite request across the slight part between his lips. Rafael moaned again, just a bit louder, and opened his mouth. Sonny actually tasted sweet. Of course, his kisses had a delicious hint of coffee in them, but Rafael decided he was not imagining the delicate, honey-like tang that made him want to get as close as possible.

Sonny couldn’t believe what was happening. He was as stunned as Barba was that he’d asked Barba to kiss him, and now… He should have known Barba would be as practiced and adept at kissing as he was at everything he did. Sonny had known how Barba would taste, the thousand times he’d imagined this moment. He had no idea how he’d known, but he had, and he didn’t try to resist the impulse to dare using his tongue. When Barba moaned and moved closer, welcoming Sonny’s intrusion, Sonny felt a surge of heat and a rush of want.

The next long while was filled with exploration. They used their lips and tongues and hands to begin to explore one another physically, but they were also exploring this tentative connection they had acknowledged. They’d both been thinking about this, but neither of them had ever expected it to actually happen. Now that it was happening, now that they were here, kissing each other and getting increasingly bolder with their caresses, it felt different than either had considered. Rafael’s unexpected kindness and Sonny’s unexpected boldness had changed things between them in a subtle but permanent way.

“Sonny…” Rafael tried to think rationally, although he was panting with desire – they both were – and having trouble holding back from taking things further.

“Hmmmm?” Sonny began kissing Rafael’s neck, which did nothing to help him focus.

“We need to stop.”

Sonny wouldn’t have been Sonny had he not instantly, though very reluctantly, lifted his lips from Rafael’s warm, delicious skin. Rafael wasn’t wearing anything scented, and he smelled almost wickedly good, like warm vanilla with a hint of musky spice. Sonny wanted to lick him, and he’d been about to when Rafael uttered the magic word.

“Stop?” Sonny gasped.

“You’re hurt.” Rafael pulled back to look at Sonny, although they kept their arms around one another. His look was questioning, searching Sonny’s face for clues to how he was feeling, both physically and emotionally. “You have a concussion, you shouldn’t be… exerting yourself.”

“I’m not, yet. But I want to.” Sonny’s grin was definitely carnal, but also sweetly inviting in a way that made it nearly impossible for Rafael not to pull him back for more serious necking.

“But it could be dangerous. I mean, blood pressure, and elevated heart rate…” Rafael forgot what he was going to say because Sonny’s wide smile and twinkling eyes sucked the breath right from his body.

“Rafael, I can tell you that my blood pressure and heart rate are definitely elevated, and I feel great. You feel great, too,” he said, moving closer so he could resume sliding his hand over Rafael’s chest. He leaned in and kissed Rafael. “I know it would probably hurt to do what I really want to do with you, but… I promise you, I’m fine.”

“I don’t want to do anything that would hurt you worse.”

“I know.” Sonny dipped his head to catch Rafael’s gaze. “I know that. But I don’t want to stop.”

Rafael hesitated. “I don’t, either,” he whispered, his lips close to Sonny’s again. “I think I have an idea.”

Sonny felt some very pleasant twitching at the tone of Rafael’s voice.

“Let’s lay you down.”

Sonny was the one who hesitated then. “Take me to bed.”

“Even better.”

When Rafael had Sonny stretched out in his bed, he languidly, lovingly explored all the non-injured parts of his face, neck, and chest with his hands and mouth, sliding his shirt from Sonny’s body along the way. Sonny tried to be an active participant, but Rafael murmured, “You’re so pretty, Sonny. Let me just enjoy you…”

“You worried about my blood pressure?” Sonny whispered.

“No. Mine.” Rafael chuckled into Sonny’s neck as he teased Sonny with his hands, stroking closer and closer to his rigid cock.

Sonny groaned and moved his hips, urging Rafael to touch him. Rafael slid his hand over Sonny’s crotch, lightly, and Sonny arched up into his hand. It was all Rafael could do not to clasp him through his shorts, feeling that his dirty imagination had been delightfully accurate. Instead, he slid his hand softly back up Sonny’s shaft, barely touching, to dip it below his waistband and finally touch him, sliding his fingers across the sensitive, leaking tip and listening to Sonny’s erotic moan in response. He took Sonny in his hand, letting his fingers explore and lightly stroke.

“Fuck, Rafael… Oh, shit that feels good…”

“Is anything hurting? Your headache’s not worse, or…?”

“I feel amazing. You feel amazing.” Sonny captured Rafael’s mouth and kissed him thoroughly while Rafael began a slow rhythm up and down Sonny’s shaft. “I imagined bein’ with you like this, Rafael, but I never coulda imagined how good a kisser you are…”

“I want to taste you. Will you let me put my mouth on you?”

“Fuck, yeah… anything you want,” Sonny gasped.

Rafael’s laugh was soft and sinful. “Be careful what you promise me, Detective. For today, just relax and let me take care of you.”

“Oh… shit… Rafael…”

Sonny thought he’d received some good head in his life. But when Rafael slid his shorts past his hips and down his legs, tossing them away without a thought, and began to lick his way around Sonny’s head, he knew he was in for something extraordinary. With supreme skill and attention to detail, Rafael delicately fingered Sonny’s balls and licked up, down, and around his cock for a long time before taking it into his hot, wet mouth. Sonny felt a fairly significant twinge of pain from his chest as he nearly came off the bed. Rafael was doing something wickedly stimulating with his tongue while he exerted just the right amount of suction as he slowly raised and lowered his mouth on Sonny.

Sonny lost all sense of the sounds he was making, but Rafael heard every one. He wasn’t going to last very long; hearing Sonny Carisi utter those helpless groans and words of ecstasy was so hot he couldn’t help but rub his own cock against the sheets. He looked up at gorgeous, wrecked Sonny, sheets fisted in his hands and a sheen of sweat across his forehead, rocking his hips to fuck Rafael’s mouth, and had to slow the pumping of his own hips so he didn’t come before Sonny did.

Rafael enjoyed long moments, tasting Sonny and reveling in pleasuring his pretty dick, until, with a strangled cry, Sonny erupted into Rafael’s waiting throat. Sonny shouted, then groaned, then practically whimpered as Rafael mouthed him through his orgasm. At the same time, Rafael rubbed himself against the sheets until he, too, came hard, aroused beyond control by the sounds of Sonny’s pleasure.

It was many minutes before Rafael regained enough breath and strength to crawl up the bed and take Sonny gently in his arms. It was a month before Sonny was healed enough for Rafael to stop trying to protect him when they made love. It was about six months before Rafael and Sonny realized they’d fallen deeply and permanently in love, and another six months before Rafael found the courage to risk it all by asking Sonny to marry him. (Sonny always pointed out that it took him less than a second to enthusiastically and joyfully accept Rafael’s proposal.) A year after that, Rafael’s cousin took his favorite wedding picture, the moment they were married.

Rafael was pulled from his reverie by the sound of his phone and the appearance on his screen of a laughing, smiling picture of Sonny that always gave Rafael’s heart a tug. He really, really didn’t want to answer. He didn’t want Sonny to know how bad he’d screwed up the trial or that, because of him, a child rapist was even now out on the streets. For the first time ever, he wanted to hide in shame from his husband. He pushed the button anyway.

“I love you,” Sonny’s voice came through, even though Rafael hadn’t yet mustered the courage to say hello.

“Maybe if you’re really quiet about it, no one will hold it against you.”

“I’m sorry, Babe. I’m really sorry. We knew goin’ in that Judge Callaghan was gonna be a problem.”

“I should’ve been able to convince her. I know how she thinks. I fucked up.”

To Sonny, who knew him as well as anyone ever had, it was clear how unnerved and saddened Rafael really was. He hated hearing him like that, hurting and directing anger at himself. Hated it so much, in fact, that he made an instant decision. “I need you to do something for me.”

“What?”

“Come home.”

“Aren’t you in the office?”

“Yeah, I am, and I’m leaving as we speak. I’m coming to get you and I’m taking you home.”

“Sonny-“

“Don’t argue with me. Put on your coat and tell Carmen you’ll be gone for the rest of the day.”

“No, look-“

“Rafael. Do this for me. I’ll be there in five.” Sonny hung up before Rafael could argue. He knew perfectly well he’d never convince Rafael to take time for himself, and he also knew that in the four years they’d been together, Rafael had never once refused him anything he’d asked for. He said he couldn’t. Miraculous as it was to think that Rafael Barba was that helplessly in love with him, Sonny believed it.

Rafael sat for a few moments, staring at his phone as the screen went blank. He wanted to call Sonny back and tell him he wasn’t going to crawl home in the middle of the day like a beaten dog. He wasn’t feeling too good about things right this minute, but he’d be damned if he-

“Mr. Barba?” Carmen wrapped her torso around the door and stuck her head in. “I just got a call from Susan. I’m supposed to cancel your afternoon. I just wanted you to know I’m on it.”

“Since when do you take instructions from Susan?” Rafael snapped.

“I don’t. I take them from Mr. Carisi. Your afternoon’s cancelled.” Carmen disappeared as fast as she had appeared, but not before Rafael caught the briefest glimpse of that look. The one that told him Carmen had spoken and resistance was futile. So Sonny, a Junior ADA, tells his assistant to cancel his appointments, his assistant tells Carmen to cancel Rafael’s, and Carmen tells Rafael they’re cancelled? Is that how it worked now? When had he become so low on the chain of command over his life?

“What if I don’t want my afternoon cancelled?” He shouted after her, grinning despite himself.

“Mr. Carisi does. It’s cancelled.”

“I outrank him.”

“Not in real life, you don’t.”

If anyone had ever told Rafael that such an exchange would not only make him smile but warm his heart on a day when it was sorely wounded, he would have given them his best withering glare. He might have similarly mocked the suggestion that hearing Sonny Carisi’s Staten Island accent would someday cause his heart to skip a beat and his entire body to relax, if only a fraction. Yet as he caught the sound of Sonny greeting Carmen, that’s exactly what happened. Rafael stood and pulled his suit jacket from the back of his chair. He had it on and was just stuffing a few papers and his computer tablet into his briefcase when Sonny’s legs came in the door to his office, followed in good order by the rest of his body.

Sonny wasn’t smiling, but he had a gleam in his eye. That gleam.

“Are you sure about this?” Rafael asked. “I’m not very good company right now.”

“You’re always good company,” Sonny responded, and now he did smile. “That’s why I married you.”

“That’s not why you married me.”

“It’s one of the reasons.”

As always, despite Rafael’s repeated requests not to, Sonny put an arm around him and kissed him. “I also married you because you’re the best kisser in the Western Hemisphere,” Sonny murmured. “Which is how I know you can do better than that.”

“I don’t want to do better than that in my office.” Rafael tried to sound annoyed. He always tried to sound annoyed about this, and Sonny always insisted on kissing him in the office anyway. Carmen was right. Rafael in no way prevailed over Sonny in anything. He wanted to hate that. He really did. But those eyes, and those dimples, and that damn gleam… It really wasn’t fair.

So he let Sonny pull him close and kiss him, and inevitably, he was drawn in. The blinds between his office and Carmen’s desk had been closed for four years for exactly this reason. By Rafael. Carmen thought it was cute.

Sonny picked up Rafael’s briefcase and turned toward the door, sliding his hand down Rafael’s arm to grasp his hand. “C’mon. Let’s get outta here.” Sonny was well aware that Rafael would make him let go of his hand once they reached the hallway, but he loved to push it. Rafael’s rules about public displays of affection were made to be broken. Besides, Sonny didn’t want to miss the fun of making Rafael pull his hand away. He hoped the elevator was empty.

It wasn’t, but Sonny still fondled Rafael’s ass while they rode. This, Rafael allowed, but only because experience had shown him that trying to stop it caused more of a scene than simply enjoying it. Which he very much did, although he’d never tell Sonny that.

On the way to the subway, Sonny kept Rafael entertained with stories of the morning’s arraignment docket. There was frequently bleakly funny drama there, and this morning had been no exception. Sonny had also seen Nikki Staines get a client released on his own recognizance when he should be in Riker’s right now, using an argument so labyrinthine that both Sonny and Rafael decided the judge had simply been too bamboozled to resist.

On the subway, blissfully uncrowded in the middle of the workday, Sonny kept Rafael busy fending off kisses and caresses, which he knew perfectly well Rafael loved, his dry peevishness about it notwithstanding. Sonny’s smiles and giggling were so irresistible, and his abrupt switches from silly to sensual so intoxicating that Rafael often found himself laughing as he tried to complain, and just as often found himself kissing Sonny back despite himself.

As a result, by the time they reached their apartment, Rafael had at least smiled a few times. Now that his husband had basically ordered him home, he was looking forward to his softest, most worn jeans and a comfortable, loose shirt. As they undressed, he was surprised by Sonny’s suggestion that they take a shower.

“We just took showers a few hours ago.”

“Not together.”

Rafael looked up from where he was carefully draping his suit onto its hanger. Sonny had hung his up, too, but with nothing like the care Rafael used. He was leaning against the wall next to the closet, looking a little goofy wearing nothing but tighty-whities and socks. Except that, on second glance, Rafael saw that he was also wearing a very suggestive grin and sporting the beginnings of an erection.

For a moment, Rafael looked away, finishing his task, being a little too careful about closing the closet door to give himself time to think. He really wasn’t in the mood for sex. Well, he was; he was always more or less in the mood to make love to Sonny, but this one time, he seriously considered refusing.

“Rafael, I can hear you thinking. Stop it,” Sonny’s soft voice told him. He took a step toward Rafael, but didn’t touch him yet.

“It’s been a rotten morning.”

“I know that. And I know what you’re telling yourself.” Now Sonny reached out and gently took Rafael’s arm, turning him to face him. Sonny cupped Rafael’s cheek slowly, gently. “You’re fuckin’ brilliant. You know that. Juries just do shit sometimes, and judges almost never step in. That’s all this is.”

Rafael felt secure enough, as Sonny pulled him to himself, to allow his voice to fully reveal his distress. “Tell that to the next kid he rapes.”

“That’s not on you,” Sonny said, tipping his face down to kiss him. “That’s on the jury.”

Rafael let Sonny kiss him, closing his eyes to concentrate on the sensation of Sonny’s soft lips and the delicate sweetness of his taste. His arms found their accustomed place around Sonny’s waist, and he let himself begin to relax, his mouth following wherever Sonny cared to lead. He cooperated when Sonny eased his undershirt from him and slid his boxers off, taking his socks with them. He wasn’t much help with Sonny’s underwear and socks, but he stroked Sonny’s shoulders as he bent to remove them and then, seeing beautiful Sonny naked and eager for him, Rafael felt something inside himself shift. Suddenly hungry for as much skin contact as he could get, he pulled Sonny to him and held him there, invading his mouth with impulsive ardor.

Sonny moaned at the unexpected heat and grasped a handful of hair at the back of Rafael’s head, kissing Rafael back as hard as Rafael was kissing him. At that moment, Rafael knew what he needed. He needed to be fucked, and he needed it rough. He needed to let go, safe in his Sonny’s arms, and fuck out all the self-doubt and anger until there was only pure, raw sex and the certain knowledge that Sonny was his, and he was Sonny’s, even with his colossal failure in this damned, shitty trial that he should have crushed.

“Shower,” Sonny growled, walking Rafael into the bathroom without interrupting their increasingly passionate embrace. He fumbled for the fixture, turning on the water and feeling fleetingly grateful for the feature that set the water temperature where they liked it. He was not in the mood to have to deal with adjusting it, because Rafael was grinding their bodies together and making needy, obscene noises that had Sonny fully hard. Rafael was greedy, in a hurry all of a sudden, and Sonny felt a jolt of raw lust when he felt Rafael take his cock into his hand the second they stepped under the water.

“Fuck me,” Rafael growled, and Sonny groaned.

There was nothing gentle in the way Rafael was stroking him, and Sonny wasn’t gentle as he backed Rafael against the corner between the glass block wall and one of the tile walls. They’d discovered that this shower, which Rafael had always thought too small, was actually perfect for the two of them because if one of them was in this corner, he could brace one leg against the glass wall beside the door. In that position, he was entirely stable, and entirely open for whatever the other had in mind.

Sonny began to tell Rafael what he had in mind in filthy, graphic detail between nips along Rafael’s neck as Rafael pumped his cock. Sonny roughly began to finger him, and the room filled with steam and the increasing volume of their groans and occasional cries. As he felt himself get too close, Sonny pulled out of Rafael’s grasp and fell to his knees, unceremoniously lowering his mouth over Rafael’s cock as deeply as he could. Rafael gasped Sonny’s name and began to fuck his mouth as he felt Sonny stretch him with a firm haste that wasn’t his usual slow, sensual seduction.

“Tell me,” Sonny ordered, letting Rafael out of his mouth just long enough to spew the words. “Tell me how much you want me to fuck you. Tell me how hard you want it.”

“Fuck, Carisi… Get up here. Fuck me now, I don’t want to wait. I mean it, I need you to slam into me. Now!”

Sonny didn’t waste much time getting back to his feet and grasping Rafael’s ass in one hand while, with the other, he positioned his cock.

“Tell me.”

“I want you to fuck me. Hard. Now.” Rafael was groaning through gritted teeth, and Sonny didn’t make him wait any longer before entering him quickly and, for Sonny, roughly. Had Sonny not known Rafael so well by now, Rafael’s hoarse shout would have caused him to stop immediately and apologize profusely. But he’d heard his husband’s cries of ecstasy frequently enough to know the difference between that and a shout of objection. Rafael’s tight grasp on Sonny’s buttocks, along with the way he was pulling Sonny into him, told Sonny that this was exactly what Rafael needed right now.

Rafael didn’t want tender or soft. He wanted nasty and raw, and Sonny couldn’t pound him hard enough. “Fuck, Sonny… Harder! As hard as you can…”

“You’re mine,” Sonny growled into Rafael’s ear, thrusting powerfully into Rafael at a punishing pace. “Only I get to fuck you, only I get to make you come. Say it! Tell me you’re mine.”

“I…” Rafael was close, Sonny knew from the way he was breathing and the way he was moving, humping Sonny’s cock even as Sonny slammed into him. “I’m yours. I’m… yours. I love you…”

Sonny bit down on the inside of his cheek to hold off his orgasm as he pumped into Rafael. “I love you so much,” he whispered harshly. “You’re so fucking hot. Shit, you’re so fucking sexy, Rafael…”

He didn’t stop hissing praise until Rafael began to practically howl as he came. “Yes, Baby, come for me… come for me…” Sonny encouraged, waiting until Rafael started to come down before allowing himself to explode into him. “Oh, fuck! Fuck, I love you, Rafael!”

When they’d wrung every last aftershock from one another, they stood together, panting, arms around each other and foreheads together.

“How the hell did I ever get lucky enough to marry you?” Rafael gasped, genuine bafflement coloring his appreciation.

Sonny smiled beautifully and giggled a little as he gulped air. “I love that you think you’re the lucky one. I got you so snowed…”

Rafael grinned a little, but didn’t laugh. “I love you, Sonny.”

“I know. And I love you. Can I wash your hair?”

They spent the next half hour washing and caressing and appreciating each other, before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower to help one another dry off.

Sonny made it hard to walk from the bathroom to the bed, simply because he was walking behind Rafael with his arms around him. When they had made it to the bed and settled under the sheet, Rafael found himself lying on his back in Sonny’s arms, with Sonny half lying on him and looking down at him. The look on his face reminded Rafael very much of his look in Rafael’s favorite wedding picture. Sonny had Rafael’s eyes locked with his as he ran his long fingers through Rafael’s thick hair.

“I love you,” Rafael murmured, still slightly uncomfortable with this deep level of intimacy, one he had never experienced with anyone other than Sonny. But happy. So happy.

“I love you, too,” Sonny said, “More than you’ll ever know. And if you think I’m done making you feel good, think again.”

Rafael really wished Sonny wouldn’t rub noses with him like that. Sure, it was fun, and it felt wonderful, but it was so undignified. Oh, what the hell. At least he knew Sonny would never dream of doing it in front of anyone and, besides, they both knew Rafael could never deny Sonny anything.

#Law & Order SVU #law & order: special victims unit #lawyer boyfriends #Raul Esparza #rafael barba #sonny carisi #ADA Sonny Carisi #Detective Sonny Carisi #Peter Scanavino #Barisi

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iamshurjohned · 5 years ago

Text

No no thank you! :D this is very long. please forgive spelling and stuff, my phone is kind of dumb.

Till Death do us Part

"This has got to top the list of ridiculous things you're willing to do for a case Sherlock."

John was scoffing at keys Sherlock was holding up to their brand new house.

"I am willing to do what it takes to catch this murderer. So far he's killed five couples. That's ten bodies John. And I'm livid because he's so careless and yet still illudes me. We must catch him out at his own sick little game."

"But what about us? We're the duo. The infamous Sherlock Holmes and his lacky writer friend John Watson. No one will believe we are married. "

Sherlock snorted and pocketed the keys.

"John, everyone believes we're in the closet. It won't be a far stretch to imagine us getting actually married in secret. I've even had a fake marriage license made up for us in case anyone questions it."

John groaned as he rubbed his temples.

"There's no talking you out of this is there?"

Sherlock smiled and wrapped an arm around him.

"No husband! There is not!"

"Well it's a nice house."

John set his suitcase down in the bedroom and frowned at the kingsized bed.

"Okay...which of us is getting the bed?"

Sherlock raised a brow at Johns question.

"Oh come on, i don't snore that loudly and i hardly ever sleep..."

John sat down and looked it over. It was big enough to fit four really. He wasn't sure why he was so opposed to sleeping in the same bed with Sherlock. The detective clearly didn't seem to care.

"Okay but i want furthest away from the window."

Sherlock nodded and was quiet as he read John's body language. Pulled into himself. Positioned away from him, looking at the floor, a frown that might be hurting his face it was so strong.

"John...is everything okay? "

Sherlock sat beside him.

"It's just not acceptable where I'm from Sherlock. You should have heard the fits over Harriet. They made me promise i wouldn't be gay. And now here we sit in a gorgeous rented home in a gated community, with a fake marriage license pretending to be a happy couple. I mean if they get wind of this I'll never hear the end...especially after..."

He bit his lip.

"Let's just say that for a time i was brainwashed. Which is part of the reason my sister and i have a bad relationship now..."

Sherlock took a deep breath and looked away, drumming his fingers on his knee.

"John, now may not be the best time to tell you this. But I'm asexual. And I'm romantically attracted to all genders. I just try to keep my thoughts to my work. Recently I've developed a crush on a man. That's why this case hurts so much. This man is tageting gay couples. I don't identify as gay but i am most certainly capable of loving a man. I need to put this man behind bars because people like him are why we can't come out. Why we hide ourselves. "

John slowly reached out and touched his pinky to Sherlocks hand.

"I realize now how wrong i was. My sister and i will never repair our relationship but i can do better to be more accommodating. I too realized recently that i have a crush on a man. And it's just very hard for me to accept myself. I don't believe in all that religious bullshit anymore but I'm still intrinsically afraid of going to hell."

Sherlock looked down at his finger for a moment before looking up at John.

"I'm very sorry John. I was raised very differently. That was a thought that never crossed my mind. I know that my family will be happy for me no matter who i end up with or don't. "

John nodded.

"I'm going to do everything i can to help you take this man down, even if i have to kill him."

The first night saw the two sleeping soundly. Sometime in his sleep John had wound up on Sherlock's side of the bed and only waking enough to move, he curled himself into Sherlock who wrapped an arm around him. When they woke John was extremely confused. He sat up and Sherlock woke as he moved. He looked up at John in confusion as well.

"John...i don't mind at all but...why are you over here?'

John shrugged.

"Must have done it in my sleep."

What he didn't say was that even in his confusion, feeling Sherlock's arm around him, snuggly tucked against the mans body, had felt nice.

"So husband. What should we do for breakfast? You know I've never lived with a girlfriend before so this is all new to me. "

Sherlock just lay there half dozing again.

"I suspect the murderer is a waiter at a cute little diner. So i think there is a good place to start."

He smiled as he realized what John had called him. It may not have been real, but it felt so nice...

The little diner was 50s American inspired and most of the people seemed very nice. They ordered and made small talk with the waitress.

"So how long you been together? You're super cute?"

This was where John was quite used to saying they weren't together, but looking down at the ring Sherlock had secured for him he smiled.

"About five years. Newely married though."

He took Sherlock's hand from across the table and watched his expression turn sort of dreamy. Was he the man Sherlock said he was crushing on? What were the chances that they'd be crushing secretly on each other?

Sherlock's smile turned and he quickly pulled his hand away as he noticed the enraged look on another server. The waitress frowned and whispered.

"Don't mind him. He's...well honestly he's pretty homophobic. He's out of here in a few minutes anyway."

John and Sherlock both looked at each other and a thought struck them instantly. Sherlock must have been right. But how to catch him?

"Have you been following the murders? We're trying to keep a low profile until the murderer is caught."

She gasped softly, eyes widening as she looked at something on her phone and recognized them.

"Yes of course. I completely understand. I'm new in the area and I'm looking for friends. Would you like to text me later? Meet up? "

John started to argue but Sherlock knew what she was doing and nodded with a smile, sliding his phone number to her.

"Love to. We can take you around if you like. Our friends are limited but they're good people. "

When they left, they chatted as they walked. Both of them noticed the man from the diner following them, seeing his reflection in car and shop windows. They acted as though they didn't notice, holding hands, walking almost lazily.

Suddenly there was pounding footsteps and Sherlock pulled John into the nearest alleyway, slamming him against the wall behind boxes and kissed him deeply. He then spun around and tripped the man and kicked him into the opposite wall. John was stunned, unsure what was happening or what to do.

"Sherlock?"

The man stood and lunged but John’s soldier mentality kicked in and he sprung past Sherlock. in one swift motion he grabbed the man by the arm and swung him around, forcing him to his knees. He yelled out in pain as John slammed his head into the wall.

“you made a poor choice attacking a veteran you know.”

He struggled and Sherlock helped John restrain him before flagging for a cop.

It took several hours to get through the paper work and giving statements, especially once the man began screaming obscenities at them from the back of the squad car. John was exhausted and shaking as they got back to their temporary house.

“So is that it? that was the murderer?”

Sherlock frowned and shook his head as he sat on the couch, rubbing his face tiredly.

“No john, unfortunately that was just a royal prick. it’s an odd coincidence i’ll say that. and one that has deeply upset me.”

John sat beside him and took his hand.

“you need to talk?”

Sherlock shook his head.

“just a little sleep probably. i know i was right. i know that’s where he’s picking his victims because they each had one of the business cards in their kitchen. they all had just moved here...but i don’t know who he is.”

John frowned as he thought back on the morning.

“What makes you sure it’s a man? what about the waitress? she seemed awful friendly. suspiciously so if you ask me.”

Again he shook his head, staring at the floor as if searching for some clue there.

“Men’s hair found in the hand of one of them. i neglected to tell you this before because i was afraid you wouldn’t help and Lestrade most certainly wouldn’t do anything like this...”

John sat back. perhaps he should have questioned it before agreeing, but Sherlock was so adamant about the whole thing. it became clear to John suddenly that Sherlock was scared and that he felt safer with him around. without even really thinking, he took a deep breath and pulled Sherlock into his arms. He was shocked at first, but looking into John’s eyes he rested his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes. John sat there stroking a piece of his dark curls. Sherlock never stopped amazing him. his talents, his strength, and now his weakness.

“Go ahead Sherlock. tell me. i won’t back out now.”

Sherlock didn’t move as he spoke finally.

“they weren’t just murdered, they were tortured. things i won’t even say. it seems he picked one, tied him up in the livingroom and tortured him until the other would come down. the last one managed to get a chunk of hair and he shot them both in the head before leaving. the thing i can’t understand is how he gets in. they must know him. but they can’t. no one has been in this neighborhood more than a week.”

he was startled by a text from the waitress and realized he hadn’t gotten her name.

-Hey, I saw you guys talking to the cops on my way home. are you okay? i didn’t want to bother you but i was worried.-

--we’re fine but you’ll be needing a new coworker. he attacked us on our way home. looks like we caught our murderer.--

John looked up in confusion.

“Sherlock, you just told me it wasn’t him, and it can’t be her.”

Sherlock was silent a moment.

--by the way, i never picked up your name?--

-Maria. sorry, i guess i was a little star struck. but i can’t believe he attacked you! i’m so sorry! i never thought he could hurt anyone, i just thought he was really angry-

--it’s okay. but there’s a few things i need to clear up before we leave so if you don’t mind meeting us tomorrow for coffee?--

“No John, i said it was men’s hair. the murderer is a man but i have a hunch. please be careful if you’re on your own. i’ll die if i see you like them.”

John was so confused about his own emotions. he was starting to see Sherlock in a different light. he realized they’re relationship might as well have been a marriage. they were partners, they quite happily lived together, everyone thought they were gay when they first met new people. they spent time together and as John grew more comfortable he realized he didn’t feel a need for a lover.

“Sherlock...something confuses me. this afternoon, you kissed me. now i thought that was for show but i realize that no one would have been able to see with the crates in the way.”

he sat up and looked John in the eyes.

“i have a confession John. i’ve been in love with you for years. but you’ve been so turned off by the idea that i was scared to tell you.”

John held his face softly and leaned close, brushing his lips against Sherlock’s softly. he was quite surprised how good it felt, sending shivers down his spine, even more so as Sherlock returned the kiss, deeper and more passionate.

“i guess it was just the wrong time previously because it’s really only been the last few months that i realized how i felt. i think i felt like this for a long time but i suppressed it. but going forward now that it’s in the open, i want to be with you Sherlock. the only things that need to change are where we sleep and things like this.”

Sherlock hugged him tightly as tears welled in his eyes.

“this is a dream...”

he choked.

“it’s not.”

John whispered.

“you’re playing with me for the case.”

John ran his hand through Sherlock’s hair.

“you know that isn’t true. it’s an awkward way to start a relationship i’ll give you that. come on. some sleep will do us both good. when we get up i’ll cook dinner and we can put on a movie.”

Sherlock nodded, begrudgingly pulling away. they fell asleep holding each other tightly.

John woke first around eight to see seventeen text messages from Maria on Sherlock’s phone. instantly concerned he read them. various lines begging for help and finally an address. he looked to Sherlock who desperately needed the sleep with the intent to go pick her up and bring her back there.

when he got there however, she was nowhere to be seen and he instantly felt uncomfortable. he started to pull off but she stumbled in front of the car and he screeched to a halt throwing it in park. but he didn’t get out. he still felt like something was wrong. he rolled the window down and looked out at her.

“Maria?”

She appeared to be unconscious and he frowned. his instincts were screaming at him to stay in the car, but what if the murderer were after her for some reason? what if it was totally unrelated and she was hurt? he was a doctor. how could he ignore her? with a heavy sigh he stepped out of the car and was instantly injected with something from behind. as everything grew fuzzy she stood up.

“This is the last pair okay? we have to make this one look like a murder suicide or we’ll get caught.”

John was gone after that, barely seeing a familiar face that caught him.

he woke to a tayzer to the thy. strong enough to inflict pain, not enough to really hurt him beside the contact burn that was likely going to show. he didn’t understand how but he was in the living-room tied to one of the dining chairs. Maria, if that was her real name, was nowhere to be found.

“shhh.”

the man whispered before kissing him.

“never thought i’d get a chance to meet you again. you’re famous now. i always suspected you and Sherlock. don’t worry, i’m just starting and soon your prince will come running down those stairs just like the others and we’ll play a little game.”

John couldn’t talk. he couldn’t yell or barely move. he swallowed the dry lump in his throat as his vision cleared. he was right though. he almost didn’t recognize the old collage roommate he had in freshman year.

“i see you have questions so i’ll answer them.”

he tazed John again, watching with a smile as tears came to his eyes and he tried to scream.

“Here let me try...SHERLOCK!”

he nearly choked himself laughing as John struggled. he was backhanded with an angry grunt and winced as he felt his lip split. He shook his head as he heard Sherlock’s thundering footsteps coming down the stairs.

“JOHN?! oh god John!”

He stumbled over himself but stopped dead as the man pulled a gun from his coat pocket and pressed it to Johns temple.

“no no, that’s not how we play this game.”

Sherlock fell to his knees, finding it hard to breath.

“this isn’t...a game!”

he laughed as he grabbed Johns hair and pulled his head back.

“It is Sherlock. it’s a fun game. there’s one other couple that escaped me. can you figure out how?”

John was clearly in pain and Sherlock was near hyperventilating.

“Do you want me to let go of his hair?”

Sherlock let out a gasp that sounded like a yes but the man moved the gun slowly down to John’s arm.

“Ah...ah...or do you want me to shoot his arm?”

Sherlock looked up, watching John heave in sheer terror.

“no don’t shoot him. please. i’ll do anything you want just please stop hurting him.”

The man stepped back, letting go of his hair and John locked eyes with Sherlock. surly the man had a plan? there was no way they were going to die like this. he was starting to regain control of his body but with that the pain intensified. his head was throbbing, he shuddered as his former friend undid the buttons on his shirt, slowly pulling it open before running his free hand up his chest, the other keeping the gun trained at Johns head.

“in case you think i’m joking...”

he fired into the ceiling, watching both of them jolt at the sound.

John looked up and opened his mouth to speak but was punched in the side.

“only he’s allowed to speak!”

Sherlock looked away. it broke him to see John like this. especially now that he had confessed what Sherlock had suspected for months.

“what happened to you wasn’t your fault but you can’t do this to people Eric.”

he spun to look at Sherlock, finger slipping on the trigger and barely missing John’s head.

“no! you are not going to play those head games! nothing happened to me!”

Sherlock took a deep breath and looked up.

“you know John, and his sister, and their family...”

“i said stop or i will shoot you both RIGHT.NOW!”

But sherlock continued.

“please. i want you to really think about this. we are people. John fought in a war. he saved lives. he saved my life even when i wasn’t worth saving.”

John hung his head, scared to speak.

“you’ve always been worth saving...”

Eric paced angrily.

“SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!”

“look what you’ve done to John. did he ever mean anything to you? is that how you treat a friend?”

he grabbed at his hair in frustration and shot a round into the floor at John’s feet.

“no! i wanted you to come! i didn’t want to do this to him! i was going to let him live! but he read your texts like a good little boyfriend and kept you out of harms way. it’s the same story over and over again. i wanted you to be different! this is supposed to be fun! you’re disgusting! punishing you is what i was called to do!”

Sherlock bit his lip.

“if you didn’t kill all those people i would have pitied you. but then you had to go and get your wife involved. you won’t find the one you want because he killed himself in prison years ago. what you did is equally unforgivable.”

John looked bewildered between the two of them as he slowly caught on to what Sherlock was saying.

“oh of course! we were drunk! it was a party! of course he had to take the easy way out!”

he aimed again at John, this time with the intent to kill and Sherlock bolted, grabbing the gun as it went off, hitting John in the shoulder once, and hitting Sherlock in the shoulder twice. John screamed as Sherlock fell back onto him, toppling them to the floor. Sherlock scrambled and threw the gun, the last bullet hitting Eric in the chest as it hit the floor and fired. it was just then that Lestrade and a group of Mycroft’s security men broke the door down.

John woke to voices beside him talking quietly. Sherlock sounded distressed.

“Lestrade I need to make sure John is okay before i tell you anything. i just wish i could have stopped him. if i hadn’t gone to sleep...if i...”

John looked up trying to talk but they had him on pretty heavy pain meds.

“i’m...okay Sherlock...i think.”

Sherlock took his hand and John noticed the nightgown and bandages. he reached out with his left hand to gently touch John's face. Lestrade raised a brow at this sudden display but said nothing as Sherlock turned back to him.

"Okay, I'm sure John is wondering too. So here it is. Eric and John knew each other, dormed together in university. John was unaware at the time but Eric's first year was traumatic. A hazing gone wrong as the police called it. Naturally he was enraged. But about five months ago something in him snapped. I will probably never know what that is, but he decided to start killing gay couples because it made him feel better. His wife, the Diner waitress, would find couples with men who looked like his attacker. She would befriend them, and once gained their trust, would beg one to come save her from some imaginary trouble. They would arrive at the location she would give, they'd get out of the car and be knocked unconscious by a fairly nasty sedative. Now here's where i was confused. Studying the crime scene photos, it was clear to me that they had gone out and then carried in but how? Most people lock their doors. Well, i did some digging and found out that Maria's sister owns five houses in this neighborhood which she rents out. Of course she's the landlady and has keys for them in case she needs to fix something while they're away. Her involvement is unclear. But Maria would take the keys to the house the couple had moved into. She always targeted new couples in the area. Thats how she'd ensnare them. Hire a waiter to attack them on their way home, tell Eric who they are, where they were staying, where they were working...once inside they would tie one up, and torture them until their partner heard. Then they'd play stupid little, how well do you know your parter" games. Except the more the one knew and got correct, the more abuse the other would suffer until he got bored and killed them."

Lestrade shifted a bit as he took this in.

"So what happened to you and John?"

Sherlock frowned and released John's hand as an afterthought. Lestrade looked skyward for a moment.

"Sherlock, i don't care about what ever this is."

He made a wide circular gesture at the pair.

"I called on essentially the queens guard to help you get this guy, the least i could get is an explanation."

John closed his eyes and took Sherlock's hand. He cleared his throat and Sherlock handed him the water bottle beside him.

"I...made a huge mistake. And deep down i knew i was wrong but damn it, she appealed to my humanity. After Sherlock and i were attacked we went back to the new place and got a few texts from Maria. But they were suspicious to Sherlock. Well after we took a nap i woke up to hear Sherlocks buzzer go off. 17 texts beginning him to save her. They hsd planned for Sherlock to go but i didn't want to wake him. So i went. When i got there no one was to be seen. So when i started to leave, she suddenly fell in front of my car. Against my judgment, i got out of the car to see if she was okay. I know, stupid....but she looked really hurt. Of course i step out and bing, got a needle in my neck and I'm gone."

Sherlock frowned, squeezing his hand tightly.

"When i woke and found the texts, i assumed that's why he was missing. I heard Johns car pull up and that's when i called you."

He looked down.

"And well...i don't want to tell you anything after that because i was not okay."

Lestrade frowned and hugged him, making sure not to hurt his shoulder.

"Well he lived. He's under police watch. And we caught her as well. They'll never be a problem again."

They didn't make it to jail before a strange accident occurred that killed them instantly...

John and Sherlock recovered and much to John's relief they returned to the flat when they were released. They kept their separate rooms but John started sleeping in Sherlock's room. The two of them had a lot of healing emotionally to do but the relied on each other to get through.

John sat curled up on the couch under a heavy blanket and Sherlock sat beside him with an arm wrapped around him.

"Sherlock?"

John looked up at him.

"Hm?"

Sherlock ran his fingers through John's hair.

"I need to confess something. "

Sherlock raised a brow.

"Go on?"

There was a long pause and Sherlock squirmed a bit.

"I hate chick flick movies. I only watch them with you because you like them."

Sherlock outright laughed.

"John you should have told me sooner. I was only watching them for you."

John laughed as well and got up to grab the remote.

"Got any good war movies?"

Sherlock shook his head.

"Not really my genre. I like psychological thrillers. "

John scoffed at this.

"I shouldn't be surprised. Don't you know how they end?"

"Shut up and pick a movie."

John closed his eyes and picked a random one. Sherlock went to make more popcorn while John put it on. Once curled up together again, John fell asleep with a soft smile that Sherlock couldn't stop staring at. He adjusted them to lay down with Johns head on his chest and soon fell asleep as well, content at finally finding love.

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svubloods · 6 years ago

Text

Imagine Peter realising you’re the only one for him

(A/N: Thought I’d try something know and do a fic from Peter’s perspective I guess. IDK I hope you enjoy this mess! Too late to edit so will do in the moring!)

Imagine Peter realising you’re the only one for him

How do you know if someone is right for you?

And not in the temporary sense, they aren’t just good for you right now, but they will be good for you for the rest of your life. Peter didn’t believe in the concept of soulmates, in fact, the idea that there is only one perfect person for you out there and that’s who you were supposed to be with forever was laughable to him. Soulmates...his Father had thought his Mother was his soulmate, rather uncharacteristically he might add, and what happened? She served him divorce papers and moved across the country. Leaving him, his sister and her supposed ‘soulmate’ behind.

No, soulmates didn’t exist. But the idea of falling in love with someone, knowing and feeling like they were the only person you were supposed to be with forever. Sure. There is some legitimacy to the idea, It was a plausible theory, it could happen. He’d seen it happen with colleagues and friends of his and only a couple ended in divorce. So of course, there was the possibility of it happening, he could admit, you could potentially feel so strongly about someone that you start to believe that you’ll be together forever.

It could happen...but he didn’t think it could happen to him.

Until, of course, it did.

Peter has always thought of you of his own personal tornado. You crashed into his life, a reckless devastatingly perfect storm.

Reckless.

Unlike him you acted without thinking, he was methodical...careful. You acted based on feeling, emotion, happy to accept whatever consequences of whatever they were because you knew you had done the right thing. He used to wish he was a little bit more like that but he found it difficult until you came along and showed him being reckless didn’t have to be scary or inherently bad. It could be exhilarating. It could make you feel alive.

Devastating.

In a good way, of course. You devastated his very foundation and proved everything he thought about being with someone, romantic relationships and love, wrong. You shook his core and proved to him that he deserved and was capable of caring for someone, giving half of himself away to someone, falling in love with someone. Because he was devastatingly in love with you.

Perfect.

Your annoying habits, your grievances, your quirks and all the things he would list when you sarcastically asked him what possible bad qualities you had after you had already declared yourself perfect. None of them affected how he saw you. Everything about you, From the way you thought, the way you talked, the way you moved, the way you felt, the way you looked at him. It was like he couldn’t believe you were actually real. You were perfect. Perfect for him.

A storm.

Like a rainstorm after a drought. Inherently good and helpful but with an underlying layer of darkness and destruction. You had been burnt, you had bled, you cried, you had felt the most twisted of pain. You hadn’t had it easy. You’d been a rock bottom and in spite of all that, you didn’t become bitter like he had, you had become better. All that pain and misery and loneliness and it just made you kind. Hopeful, You believed. You believed in him.

You were his tornado all right and there was nowhere he would rather be than in your warpath.

When Peter moved to New York from Chicago after his Dad died he didn't expect it to be the worst and best part of his life so far. Losing both his sister and his Dad within such a short time in all honestly nearly killed him and the only reason it didn't was because of you. While you like to claim it was fate that brought you together that night in the bar, Peter was much more practical. It was coincidence that you happened to meet that night and even if you hadn't you would have met the next day anyway. But regardless of his lack of belief, he was glad that you met the way you did.

That night as soon as he saw you he knew that you were the one he wanted to take home that night, of course, he didn't know then what he knew now. He knew you were different as soon as he saw you, you were the most stunning person in the room and he just had to talk to you. Peter prided himself in being no-nonsense, he knew what he wanted and got it. But with you as soon as you started speaking, what he wanted changed. He still wanted to sleep with you but the more you talked the more intrigued he became, relishing in the natural flow of the conversation you were having rather than sitting through it, waiting for what he wanted. You talked for hours and Peter still most definitely got he wanted from you and you got what you wanted from him.

But something was different.

You were both satisfied and yet you still both wanted more. That morning after you met, Peter knew he couldn't just let you leave and never see each other again. He wanted more than just your body, he wanted your mind, your opinions, your personality, he wanted you.

But then he found that he couldn't have you, later on, that day when he realised you were at a Detective at his new Department. Looking back, he knew he used it as an excuse, intimidated by how strongly attracted he was to you only after one night. So he pushed you away as best he could but he couldn't resist you for too long and he eventually gave in.

It wasn't an easy road to where you were now. During the worst parts, he pushed you away as he spiralled but you didn't give up on him and didn't ask for anything in return. You were there for him and that was all he ever really needed. And when things became complicated and hard when you got together on your side, you both stuck it out, knowing that neither of you would ever really be happy without each other. You both went from distant colleagues to close colleagues to friends to something more and then finally in a relationship.

So to answer the question, when did Peter know you were the only one for him?

It was around nine months after you officially got together, so you had known each other for almost two years at that point. And for Peter, it felt like you were entering a new stage of your relationship. It was past your intense beginning which had been building up for months, past the exciting new relationship stage filled with secrets and sneaking around as no one knew you were together, past the difficult stage where you both going through hard times with your family concerning your relationship and finally a rather dramatic stage where Peter had finally told you that he was in love with you. This new stage on the overhead was simple, everyone who was important knew you were together or at least you were both in committed relationships, you both were very aware of how the other one felt completely and you had been together long enough that being together was both of your new normal. It was your relationships normal stage, comfortable stage.

It was a normal day, for the most part, you were both at work. Peter was coming out of interrogation with Finn and Rollins, making his way across the squad-room while maintaining a conversation with them before all three collectively stopped at their desks to wrap up matters. Peter couldn't even remember what he was saying to them as his positioning coincidentally gave him the perfect view of you.

Peter had always been very clear with you that when you were both at work that you weren't in a relationship, you were colleagues and that’s it. He was controlled and an expert at burying any romantic feelings he had for you at work but then again he had a lot of practice. At the start, you had teased him a little and stole a few kisses but he was too concerned with being caught before you could officially tell higher-ups that you toned it down as well, agreeing with him though you weren't happy about it. Nowadays the most you shared would be a look or an occasional comment. So you were professionals to the point that unless anyone was paying really close attention to the both of you, they wouldn't know you were together. And Peter was very happy about that fact, in fact, he prided himself in it.

Peter knew how to control himself and yet that late morning, he just couldn’t. Instead of focusing on the conversation his mind and eyes wandered over to you, simply captivated. He had seen you that morning at home and you talked over the phone about a current case earlier that morning. There was nothing special what you wearing even though he always thought you looked incredible. There wasn't anything special about what you were doing. You were absentmindedly, making yourself a drink in the break room. You were oblivious to gaze and he usually wouldn't even have thought about it twice. But there was just something about when he looked at you from across the room, that felt different. And even though he registered that feeling in the moment, he shook it off after remembering that he needed to talk to you about something personal that he had been putting off. But he wasn't going to talk about that at work so he continued to watch you, amused as you picked up the coffee only to put it back with a sigh and put a teabag in your mug instead. Knowing that you were trying to cut down on your coffee intake he enjoyed that you weren't enjoying it at all, you basically ran on caffeine.

Uncharacteristically, he found an excuse to go over and talk to you, right there and then. Telling Rollins and Finn he was checking on the status of yours and Sonny’s case. And of course, he had to ask you, as Sonny had just left.

The break room at the station was a long and narrow corridor-like room. With enough room for a couple of people standing side by side but not really enough space to stand back to back. Or if you did, it would be a tight squeeze.

“Detective,” Peter whispered, his voice low, in your ear and he brushed passed behind you, but make sure to apply some pressure when your bodies made contact for those brief seconds.

You jumped ever so slightly and spun round to face him, bracing yourself against the counter as he leaned against it with one hand, facing the door while you looked left to look at him through your body facing the opposing wall.

“Counsellor,” You responded, your eyes wide in surprise and curiosity as you met his gaze that didn't seem to falter from yours, “Something I can help you with?”

“Just this,” He whispered before reaching over your body and swinging the break room door closed before stepping in front of you, pressing his body against yours and stealing a kiss.

His hand titling you head up by your chin so your lips met his. You gasped against his lips, taken completely by surprise, before giving in without too much resistance but you did pull away quickly when you heard voices outside.

“What are you doing?” You hissed before he stepped away and back to your side.

He smirked, “Giving my girlfriend moral support,”

“Girlfriend? Do you remember where we are?” You countered, suspiciously.

“And here I thought you of all people would enjoy some spontaneity,” He commented.

“Not when you’re being all weird about it,” You teased, shoving him playfully before you finished making your tea.

“Last time I try to support you,” He huffed.

“Would you like a drink counsellor?” You offered with a playful pout.

“I’ll take a coffee,” He responded.

“So much for being supportive,” You chuckled, before proceeding to make it.

“Oh right,” Peter laughed to himself, “Make sure it’s…”

“Black,” You finished, “I know exactly what you like,”

“Oh do you now?” He entertained, raising his eyebrows and leaning his body closer to yours.

“Yep but just for thinking I don't I’m going to put some milk in,” You threatened.

“Well, if you do make sure, it’s…” He began.

“Almond?” You offered, again, “Don’t worry I won’t risk ruining the ADA Stone’s fitness goals by daring to put full-fat milk in his coffee,”

“Thank you,” He said as you handed him his cup before you both took a sip in silence.

“Seriously though, are you feeling okay?” You asked, almost concerned.

“Yeah, of course. I just couldn't not kiss you right now,” He explained in an uncharacteristically awkward way as Peter was struggling to understand why he acted that way himself.

“Okay,” You nodded, “Well, moving on from that. I have something to show about the Williams case. Let’s head over to my desk…”

“Before we go back to being coworkers. I wanted to talk to you about something,” Peter interrupted, still deciding whether or not to ask you about what he had been putting off asking.

“What’s up?” You encouraged, taking a sip, as you watched him come up with the words.

Peter hesitated, then opted to talk about it later and made, “Are we stilling staying at my place tonight?”

“Yeah…” You replied, eyeing him suspiciously, knowing that there was something on his mind just by the look in his eyes and because he wasn't looking at you directly like you were.

“Should I be worried?” You asked as casually as you could.

“No, it’s nothing like that. Its stupid, really,” He played off, “We can talk about it later,”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded.

“All right, then,” You finished.

Peter took a step towards to door but before he could leave you put your hand up and stopped him, the close quarters meaning that your bodies were pressed against one another. You made sure to position yourself in a way that would make him blush. Before he could say anything you pressed your lips to his and wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him even closer to you and he moaned against your lips. He pulled away breathless, leaning his forehead against yours before glancing at the doors.

“I had to take advantage when I could,” You winked before adjusting his shirt and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Someone might see us,” He warned but he was smiling at you all the same.

“You started it,” You reminded.

“And now I’m finishing it,” He quipped, pushing you forward by placing his hand somewhere not any old coworker could.

You quickly composed himself before you both walked back into the squad-room ever so naturally with drinks in hand. It wasn't until the end of the day that you saw him again after he left. You had forgotten all about his mention of wanting to talk to you about something. Peter, on the other hand, hadn't stopped thinking about it. He knew it wasn't a big deal and he should just ask but he was still hesitant for some reason. And he blamed that for his uncharacteristic actions earlier on that too.

You found Peter waiting for you at the bottom of the station's steps, on his phone absent-mindedly, when you walked out that evening. And even though you were slightly confused as you were under the impression you were meeting at his place, you were happy to see him, particularly as being out of work meant that you were boyfriend and girlfriend.

“And what do I owe the pleasure?” You inquired, appearing by his side, causing him to slip his phone into his pocket and turn to you.

“I thought we could grab dinner from that Chinese place you like a couple blocks away and then take a cab home,” He explained, entwining his hand with yours as you pressed into each others side.

“It’s freezing,” You reminded, breathing out a visible breath for empathising as you huddled into his side as you both started walking in that direction regardless.

“That’s why I bought you that hat,” He defended but tangling your arms together so you could have some his body heat as you shivered.

You chuckled as you remembered the time you mentioned a week ago that even though you loved walking home with him at the end of the day, that you hated how cold you got when doing it. And instead of being understanding Peter was annoyed that you hadn't mentioned how cold you had been getting earlier as he hadn't noticed himself and then reminded you that if you dressed properly, i.e. wear more than a jacket during the New York winter then you wouldn't be. He bought you hat still upset that you hadn't said anything in your favourite colour, NYPD blue, to ensure you would wear it.

You rolled your eyes before bobbing your head so that the ball on the top of hat shook with you which earned a good-natured scoff from Peter. You then asked about each others day and caught up with everything.

“So are we going talk about earlier?” You prompted.

“What about earlier?” He inquired, gripping your waist as you made your way through the streets of the city.

“You Mr Y/N we have to be professional at work kissing me in the break room,” You reminded, mocking his tone as you spoke before jabbing an accusatory finger in his cheek, trusting him to lead you in the right direction as you took your eyes off where you were going.

“I honestly don't know what came over me,” Peter confessed, “I just knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate for the rest of the day if I didn’t kiss you,”

“I like having that sort of power over you,” You smirked.

“It was a moment of weakness,” He corrected.

“But you’re admitting I’m your weakness?” You countered, channelling him which he automatically detected.

“You know you have me whipped,” He whispered in your ear causing you to shiver even more in the cold as he held the restaurant door open for you.

You smiled helplessly as you stepped in. Around fifteen minutes later you both left with your dinner in hand. The snow had picked up to the point you only had to stand outside for a moment and you were bother covered in a fine layer of snow. You reached up and dusted off the top of his hat as Peter hailed a cab. You waited beside him, shivering helplessly the thin jacket you were wearing doing nothing for you but you could say your head was warm all while tightly gripping the plastic bag in your hand. Peter looked back at you from the street and concern flashed across his features before sighing at you. Upon seeing your state he quickly undid the buttons of his coat and pulled you against his body and then wrapped his long back coat around you both as the snow continued to crash against your skin harshly.

“You okay?” He inquired, looking down at you, as a taxi finally turned onto the street.

You nodded wordlessly, wrapping your arms around his body trying to absorb some of his body heat by burying yourself into him.

“First thing tomorrow we’re buying you a new coat,” He huffed, holding you tightly, “I’ve been telling you for weeks to wear more layers but of course you didn't listen and now look, I have to make sure you don't freeze to death,”

“What if I do it on purpose just so we can do this?” You asked, meeting his gaze by looking up at him coyly, batting your snow-covered eyelashes at him.

“You’re not smart enough to think that far ahead,” He responded, dryly, not giving you the time of day.

You hit him playfully before he smirked happily down at you and tipped his head down, capturing your lips in his own as they snow continued to whirl around you. You grip the lapel of his jacket as his mouth continued to move against yours, his arm around your waist to keep you steady and his hot breath on your face. You probably would have stood their together forever, ignoring the world for much longer, as long as you could, if the cab didn't blast his horn and make you both spring apart in order to get out of the cold and snow. You smiled sheepishly at each other as you got into the cab and headed back to his place.

A couple of hours later you were sitting on the floor of Peter’s living room, your paperwork spayed out across his coffee table as you made your way through it. The fireplace was roaring to combat the cold and you had changed into leggings, one of Peter’s college hoodies and fuzzy socks. You barely glanced up when Peter walked by, fresh out of the shower and yawned as he headed to the kitchen. The TV was playing in the background but neither of you was paying attention.

“I don’t even want to think about that case,” Peter commented with a sigh, sitting heavily on the sofa behind you after returning from the kitchen and changing the channel.

“Neither I do,” You replied, continuing to finish your paperwork, “But if I have to finish this paperwork,”

“You know you could do that work at work,” He pointed it out, putting his feet up on the coffee table right by your side.

“What a groundbreaking idea,” You mumbled, knocking his feet off the table causing him to jerk forward, “Too bad work is so busy at the moment that I have to take it home with me to even get it all done,”

“I think you’ve done enough for tonight,” Peter insisted, kissing your cheek before leaning back again.

“Will you be covering for me when I get my ass handed to me tomorrow?” You inquired teasingly, leaning your head back on the couch and looking up at him. “I might put in a good word,” He offered.

“Good enough for me,” You announced, springing up from the floor immediately discarding your files and jumping on the couch beside him.

He chuckled warmly as he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer. You smiled and you basically started to lie on top of him. You caught each other gaze and you giggled.

“Hi,”

“Hey,” He replied.

“So counsellor,” You began, running a delicate finger up the length of his arm as his grip on your thigh tightened, “You’ve got me alone and not at work. What are you going to do with me?”

“I think you know,” He smirked, leaning in close so that his lips were inches away from yours but before that, “I have to ask you something,”

“Okay,” You prompted, climbing off him and sitting by his side both you turning to face each other.

“I’ve been putting off asking you for a while but I just figured that you would say no so there was no point in actually asking. But then I thought well if I don't ask then I wouldn't be giving you the opportunity to say yes either…” He started to explain.

“Hey babe, you’re starting to sound like me with the whole rambling thing you’ve suddenly got going on,” You teased, taking his hands in yours, “Just ask me,”

“Clearly I’ve been spending too much time with you,” He commented before clearing his throat and taking a deep breath, “Do you want to come to the Lawyers ball with me this Friday?”

“The what now?” You asked.

“It’s this thing that Law Society at Columbia host every year usually I wouldn't attend because I didn't live here but I’m here now and a lot of my friends and colleagues are going and it would be really good opportunity to network and stuff,” He elaborated, “So I thought I would go and that you could come with me,”

“Is it the sort of thing that you take your significant other too?” You asked.

“Yeah, everyone does,” He replied.

“Then why wouldn't I come?” You countered.

“Well, I just figured that it wasn't really your thing,” He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck.

“True but you do stuff I like I all the time which isn't your thing, so why wouldn't I,” You reassured, “Plus I have a lot of ball experience, I’ve been to every Policeman’s ball every year since I was born and one while I was in the womb,”

“Okay, that’s great,” He breathed.

“Why were you so nervous to ask me?” You inquired, gently but still curious, watching his expression intently.

“Because you know I’m really in your world, like I’ve met your family and friends but you haven't really been in mine besides meeting my mom and a couple of friends. And that’s on me not you but I was worried how you would feel coming into my world properly and everyone knowing you’re my girlfriend,” He continued, wincing at himself clearly uncomfortable by this feeling.

“Do you want me to come?” You asked.

“Yeah,” He smiled, “I want you to meet some of my old friends,”

“Then, of course, I’ll come,” You insisted, grinning at him.

“Great,” He beamed back at you, “That wasn't too bad,”

“You know I like nervous Peter,” You mentioned oh so casually just to mess with him a little bit more, “Almost as much as I like sleepy romantic Peter,”

“Oh yeah?” He entertained, pulling you back over to his side and laying you back on the couch so his body was on top of yours, “What else do you like?”

“Your face,” You winked, looking up at him as he pressed his body on top of yours, “And that horrible transition,”

“And yet I have you exactly where I want you,” He muttered into your ear before pinning your hands above your head and kissing your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin, making you gasp much to his delight.

Hooking your leg around his waist you tugged at his hair to bring him back up to your mouth. He obliged and right after that clothes were swiftly removed and you were lifted to the bedroom, neither of you wanting to wait any longer to be with each other.

That Friday night Peter was surrounded by old friends, engaged in lively conversation, reliving his old college days but his mind continuously kept wondering back to the time and the fact that you were running late. You had told him already you’d be late as you had gotten caught up at work and needed to get ready. So he didn't need to be worried and even though he was having fun he was still one edge. And he didn't know why, yes these people were important to him but in reality what they thought had little bearing on your actual relationship.

“Earth to Stone,” Michael, Peter’s college roommate teased, jerking Peter out of his gaze which caused the group of old college baseball friends to laugh uproariously but the loud sound did nothing to affect the atmosphere of the lively ballroom, filled to the brim with legal professionals of all capacities in their suits and dresses.

“Sorry,” He chuckled, brushing it off and starting another conversation.

Another five minutes passed and the event had started twenty-five minutes before that and you still hadn't arrived. The group of old friends and their significant others had moved over to the bar.

“So Pete where’s this new girlfriend of yours?” Michael asked while the others were busy.

“She’s running a bit late,” He offered, unable to help the smile that spread on his face as he thought about you, a little looser than usual due to the fact you weren't at work and the whisky he had been nursing.

“So things must be serious then?” He probed.

“What makes you think that?” He entertained, taking a drink before flashing smile at a passerby he recognised.

“The Peter I know would never invite a girl to an event like this nor would he have dated a girl for more than a month and now that I think about it I don't he ever called ant girl his girlfriend,” He joked.

“People change,”

“Clearly,” He chuckled, “I can’t wait to meet her if she even exists, that is,”

“She very much exists,” Peter insisted, playfully snarky with his old friend.

“Yeah, I know,” He gave in, “She must be real for you to be that happy by me just even mentioning her,”

Peter was about to add something before he was interrupted by another friend examining loud enough that everyone's attention was directed to where he was looking.

“Who is that?”

Peter looked over his shoulder to see you walking in. Everyone around him, hell everyone in the whole room was suddenly captivated by the stunning woman that had entered the room, almost falling silent as you did. You had hair in an undo which was unusual for you and you were wearing a floor-length lacy burgundy dress, his favourite colour on you, you blended in with all those around you and stood out at the same time. You looked a little lost until you saw him and smiled which he warmly returned as you made your way over.

“That is my girlfriend,” Peter answered, beaming proudly at the fact that the girl that could make a whole room stop and stare was his girl, just before you arrived at his side, “Everyone this is Y/N Reagan,”

You then proceeded to greet everyone in the group with Peter by your side, laughing at their comments about being too pretty and young for him. Then they grilled you a little bit but what could you expect in a room full of lawyers. You hadn't been nervous at all, a little on edge from being late which you hated, but mostly relaxed. Peter, on the other hand, remained by your side and make sure that you were okay what felt like every thirty-second. But you were both having fun and Peter soon seemed to relax after you gave his hand a squeeze. You were in the middle of hearing a wild story about Peter in his college days, dramatically retold by his friend Ethan when someone approached Peter.

“Peter Stone?” An unfamiliar man asked which caused you both to bring your attention to him.

“That’s me,” Peter responded.

“I’m Grant Danforth, I was wondering if we could have a chat about you possibly running for DA in the 75th district,” He informed.

Peter turned to you.

“Go, go,” You encouraged, as he shot you a sympathetic look.

“You sure you’ll be okay?”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” You insisted, pushing him forward before he made his way over to a quiet spot in the room to hear the guy out.

The conversation took fifteen minutes and throughout Peter took sneaky glances back at his table where you were situated. You had the whole group gripped, listening to you tell what must be one of your best case stories. Peter was about to make his way back over when a familiar greeting stopped.

“Well well, look who it is. A Stone in the flesh,”

Peter turned around with a chuckle to face his old favourite criminal law lecturer, Judge Winters walking towards him. Judge Winters had been his mentor as well as an almost surrogate mother to Peter during his college days and they were still good friends to this day. Judge Winters resided in upstate New York now but that didn't stop him contacting her when he needed any legal advise himself.

“Mam,” Peter greeted before giving her a brief but friendly hug.

“Peter, you aren't my student anymore. You can call me by my name,” She quipped.

“So Judge Winters then,” He retorted.

“You always were cheeky, just like your Father,” She laughed, “From interrupting me in class…”

“Only to correct you,” He reminded.

“Because being Ben Stone’s boy meant you were born a legal genius,” She commented sarcastically.

“Well, I can’t help that,” Peter laughed.

“I heard that you moved to Manhattan, hows special victims?” She inquired.

They spent the next twenty minutes discussing his time at Special Victims Unit and all the difficulties that came from inherently came with dealing with that department as well as some legal changes.

“So what’s new with you?” She finally asked, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, “How are you doing after Pam?”

“I’m doing good, now at least,” He admitted truthfully, “It’s still hard but I do my best every day to try and accept what happened and move on as best I can,”

“I’m sorry again for what happened,”

“Don’t be,” Peter reassured, his eyes floating over to you across the room after chatting sight of you.

“Is that her?” She asked in that all-knowing tone, taking a step so that she would be facing in Y/N’s direction which you followed.

“Is that who?” Peter countered.

“Your girlfriend,” She informed, shooting him an impressed look before glancing back at her.

“How did you know?” He questioned.

“Oh everyone is talking about it. The ultimate bachelor finally having a serious girlfriend and a pretty one at that,” She informed, “She’s a Reagan isn't she,”

“Yeah, she’s a Detective at SVU, she’s also the younger sister of my boss Erin Reagan,” Peter explained.

“If she’s anything like her sister then you did well, Stone.” She mentioned.

“You know Erin?”

“I taught her as well. She’s was favourite student…right after you of course,” She joked.

“Of course,” Peter smiled, joining in the appreciation of her joke.

“I don’t know much about Y/N, isn't it? But I do know one thing,” She anchored, continuing.

“And what’s that?”

“She clearly very good for you,” She beamed, looking at Peter directly.

“What makes you think that?” Peter scoffed, wiping the smile off his face and composing himself the best he could.

“Well, you keep looking at her as if you’re afraid she’ll disappear, plus the fact she’s here as you actual girlfriend is evidence enough, but the biggest give-away is how you’re acting,” she explained.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re happy Peter. Happier than I’ve ever seen you before. You keep looking at her because your nervous about losing her because she makes you happy. That’s why you’re walking on eggshells, so hesitant. Because she’s important to you. She is very clearly your world,”

And it was at that moment that Peter realised that you were the one for him. And he looked across the crowd to you and saw you surrounded by some of his closest friends, looking fantastic, smiling but that smile only growing wider when you caught him looking. Some people say that they know if someone’s the one when they first see them and honestly, Peter couldn't disprove that theory because perhaps it just took him this long for him to realise that you were the only one for him.

And why did he know? Because you did make happy, you made him better without asking him to change. You made him smile, laugh, annoyed, crazy, romantic, aroused. You complimented him, which is what he always thought people really needed. Not someone to complete him or change him but someone to compliment him and make him want to be better for them. Make him want to be the best version of himself and you did that. You really were his world and he just wanted to be with you all the time.

“You’ll have to introduce me to her later on,” Judge Winters instructed before quickly departing to greet someone else.

Peter, once alone, made his way back over to you. Ignoring everything and everyone around him as in that moment he could only focus on you

“Dance with me?” He breathed by your ear, leaning in after reaching you, so only you could hear.

“You hate dancing,” you pointed out, taking both of his hands in yours as you both headed over to the dance floor where a slow song had just begun, you manoeuvred yourself so you were pressed together, chest to chest.

Not with you,” He whispered into her ear, as his arm fell to your waist, pulling you even closer into his body, “Never with you,”

You laid your head contentedly against his chest as you both began to sway to the music. He kissed your forehead before spinning you out and then reeling you back in again.

“Are you okay?” You giggled as he caught you again.

“I’m amazing,” He smiled.

“And why’s that?” You probed, looking deeply into his eyes.

“I’m here with you,” He responded before giving you a brief kiss.

“Okay Peter, be straight with me,” You started, looking intently at him, “What’s going on with you, you've been acting so strange recently,”

“Nothing going on,” He breathed, “I’m just happy,”

“Why?” You questioned, your face contorted with confusion.

“Because of you,”

“Me?” You questioned.

“Is that so hard to believe?” He argued sincerely, “That you make me happy?”

“No its just I’m never thought I could make someone else so happy that they’re so giddy they seem crazy,” You confessed, “Not that I think you’re crazy…well not too crazy at least,”

“But I am crazy,” He resisted, “…About you,”

“I should have seen that one coming,” You laughed.

“So crazy and happy that I don't even feel like myself anymore because no one has ever made me feel like this before,” He continued, gazing into your eyes, his orbs filled with unbridled joy as he did, his pupils dilating like they always seemed to do when he looked at you.

“What are you saying?” You asked, your heart racing in your chest as you gripped each other a little tighter as you continued to dance around the dance floor.

“That I love you,”

“I love you, too,”

“So much that I want to spend every day for the rest of our lives together and I know we will. So much that I don't ever want to come home to somewhere that isn't your home as well.” He said, his voice clear, calm and true, “If I’ve learned anything it’s that life is short and unpredictable and no one knows what’s going to happen. Nothing is guaranteed. But I know how I feel right now and I know that it’s not going to change. I never want to wake up without you again. So move in with me,”

“Do you mean it?” You questioned in disbelief.

He nodded, “Only if you want to of course,”

“Of course I want too,” You exclaimed excitedly before grabbing him by the face and closing the distance between you, capturing his mouth with your own with so much force that he had to steady you by clasping your waist.

He responded eagerly, deepening the kiss to the point that you were titling backwards slightly. Eventually, you broke away your breathing ragged as you grinned at him.

“So when do I move in?”

“Right now,” He stated strongly, stealing yet another kiss.

“Do I not get time to pack my things?” You taunted playfully.

“I’ll buy you new things,” He replied seriously before spinning you again as the crescendo of the song descended on you both.

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