#who loves her brother!!!! and also she kills people and feels no remorse

[gorbo-longstocking]

MARIA POV CHAPTER CAN I GET A YEAH BOY

[raconteur-wanpi]

OK, but really, I'm genuinely so sad this fandom doesn't talk enough about Vinsmoke Reiju. She's legitimately one of my absolute favorite characters in the entire story and a lot of people don't see how absolutely tragic she is.

Just. She had to stay behind. She had to stay behind so Sanji can be free, she could never join him. She can only live her dreams of escaping her horrible, horrible family vicariously through him, the only person left in that household she loved. And she had to let him go. Because if she left, an army would follow behind her to get her back; she's a "success" after all. And also because she had already deemed herself a monster. After Sora died, Sanji was all Reiju had left. And then she was alone. Stuck with them for 13 years. Stuck with the wolves. The only way to survive being to mould herself after them.

From the beginning, it was never slip up, never make a mistake, always be perfect or you're next. Pretend to laugh at the misery of the only person in your family you haven't lost hope in, knowing that he might hate you forever after this, feeling like a coward. But you're a child. A mere child, a little 10-year-old girl, and you're scared. And she already saw herself as unworthy of that freedom at that age. She's not like Sanji, she was born to play the role of a monster. Even with her intact emotions, she's still trained soldier. She has the symbol of Germa tattooed on her, how could she ever escape it? She has blood on her hands; not because of her own choices, but because of the commands she's physically incapable of disobeying. She looks at him and tells him he looks so much like their mother, but she denies to accept that so does she.

She's the firstborn, dad's perfect little girl, his first success, his obedient property. The man who she grew to hate so much, when she found out he was going to be assassinated, she didn't warn him, because she hoped it would actually happen. Even if it meant throwing her own life away as well. When she saw him beg for his life she just, rightfully, felt no guilt or remorse. Just anger and satisfaction, even as she herself was about to die, something that seemed she wanted happen. But when he got attacked later on, she showed concern, because unlike Sanji, to her he still is, dad. He's dad, who held you and called you his wonderful child. He's dad, who raised you and showed pride in you. He's dad, who potentially put some sort of authority chip in your brain and forced you to stain your hands in blood. He's the man who killed your mother. She hates him. She wants him dead. She can't stop seeing him as family, and shows concern when he's hurt. It's more complex than how her brother sees him, and it's visceral and real and upsetting.

She had to stay behind. And after all of that, she had to relive the goodbye to the only person left in her family whom she ever loved. God. I hope she gets to see Sanji again. I hope she escapes. I hope one day she finally gets to taste his cooking. She never got the chance to do that, didn't she?

[lizdive]

I was thinking of older sister violet_evergarden!reader who is also a stoneheart x aventurine. I'd like to see how they interact since canonically, violet sees herself as nothing more than a weapon and will do whatever she has to do, to protect the person she cares for. Aka aventurine. I can also sorta see her either being an emanator of preservation or one the stronger stonehearts.

Hi anon :3 !! I love aventurine with my whole heart he’s just so squishy 😞 i had to go to the violet evergarden wiki for this one bcs i’ve never watched the anime so i’m sorry if stuff isn’t accurate this was kinda of difficult for me,, tysm for requesting <3 if you’re unsatisfied just tell me and i’ll redo it!!

notes 𐙚 fem! reader — "you" + "she/her" used to refer to the reader ,, reader as an older sibling ,, reader is based off of violet evergarden from violet evergarden anime ,, reader is an emanator of preservation but it isn’t mentioned much ,, reader is a stoneheart ,, aventurine is referred to as both "kakavasha" and "aventurine" ,, corundum’s are a type of gemstone that is ranked 9 on the toughness scale ,, of course you can change this to the stone of your desire !! this isn’t proofread ignore typos,,

"The hammer of preservation will fall on all beings, regardless of life or death, regardless of race, regardless of ideology, to uphold the basic rights we inherently posses."

The Rising Stars, the Stonehearts, the Gambler and the Soldier Maiden — all nicknames for two siblings who have seen it all. A handsome aventurine and a beautiful corundum. One blessed by HER, and another blessed by THEM.

To be an Emanator is to be seen as a piece of an Aeon — their will so strong that their abilities have been gifted to them by the Aeon. To be an Emanator in the IPC is to be seen as an asset that cannot be lost. And to be an Emanator of Preservation is to be seen as the biggest tool.

With THEIR blessing you have overcome all that life has thrown at you just for the sake of keeping your beloved brother save from harm. From the moment he was brought into this sad world, you have fought to protect him and your younger sister.

Only one of the two made it out alive.

Many people would call you a murderer, and while they technically aren’t wrong, they fail to see why you do it. Or perhaps they do not care. You killed and therefore you should be sent to your own death.

You remember the day when you and your brother were taken by the IPC. A woman clad in luxury, a smirk on her face, and her tone breathy and warm. "As a servant you should not resist your master." she had said, but you did not pay attention for her.

KAKAVASHA did most of the speaking for you. He was free to go — he had no blood on his hands. You were the one to be sent to the gallows. But you couldn’t and wouldn’t. Death was not an option. It never was and never would be until KAKAVASHA lets out his final breath from old age.

You didn’t see what was wrong — you never did. Yes, you killed the man and many more, but it was self defense. KAKAVASHA and you had always lived in a world where it was kill or be killed. Remorse was foreign to you.

And then came the offer. Join the IPC. Join the corporation that was the reason your kind fell and vanished off the map. Become the same as them. You could not care less. Should your brother join, you will, as well. And he did.

By the end of the day you both were clad in luxuries the same as her.

⭑ Missions were always a package deal. Where AVENTURINE goes, Corundum always follows. Where Corundum goes, AVENTURINE is most likely following. There is no separating the two.

⭑ AVENTURINE is very patient with his big sister. He knows that unlike him, she is not able to properly express what she feels. He’ll try to help explain why people feel the things they feel — he’s good at putting up a mask of emotions and to do so he needed to understand them first so he’s good at explaining.

⭑ If you have prosthetic limbs like Violet does and have room for drawings and doodles, AVENTURINE will definitely doodle on your arms during free time. Even if you hide them with your sleeves, it’s a nice pass-time activity. Nobody says anything about it because 1: he is a stoneheart and 2: you’re a stoneheart.

⭑ Will try to get you to be less hyper-independent. Ask him for help, it’s okay. He’ll even try to make you a bit reliant on him. He’s not a little kid anymore, he can definitely help you take out those guys. He’s good with a gun and it’ll finish the mission quicker, just let him do some fighting too,,

⭑ I feel like there could be some heavy angst potential here, especially with the entire aventurine boss fight. You’re so determined to protect him, and you aren’t against killing people to do so. He knows this, and so he tries his damn hardest to hide his plan from you but he’s your little brother your little KAKAVASHA so you know him. You’re not the best at emotions but you know he’s lying and hiding something.

⭑ He accepts death and welcomes it with open arms but he also doesn’t want to leave his big sister alone. His big sister, who has done everything and more to protect him. She had killed, she has been wounded, she has put up with his shenanigans, and she has done the impossible. He feels like he’s just throwing that all away,,,

⭑ You are lost without him when he 'dies'. He is your purpose in life. Helping the Astral Express fight against Sunday? Screw them! You need to find your little brother, there is no way he is dead. You pray to Mother Gaiathra, to Qlipoth, to any Aeon that will hear your prayers, that he is alive.

⭑ And when you find him alive and well in the real world, alone in his room in the reverie hotel, you feel like a dam inside you has bursted. You don’t cry, but you’re close to doing so and AVENTURINE doesn’t know whether to encourage you to let out your emotions and calm your through them or reassure you that he is alright and there is no need to cry.

⭑ On a lighter note: AVENTURINE doesn’t mind if you communicate with him via letters instead of messages when you’re on your own solo missions! He’ll get you the nicest envelopes and stamps to put on them. Maybe even some stickers! He loves when you use the silly ones. If you tell him it helps you understand emotions better, he’ll encourage you to write letters more and for other people. If you use an old typewriter, he’ll get you the nicest one on the market!

⭑ It said in the wiki that Violet feels guilt for killing the people she has killed, so if you also feel that, AVENTURINE will be by your side to reassure you that it’s okay. That it wasn’t your fault and it was needed for survival. He might use the "you were just trying to protect me" card to make you feel better since he knows he’s your weakness.

⭑ Sadly, to make a pledge to never kill anyone again like Violet did would be pretty much impossible. In the eyes of the IPC, violet evergarden! reader will always be a weapon, so it’ll kinda be forced upon her.

⭑ AVENTURINE loves the anxious expressions of the people he’s gambling with as his big sister stands behind him, intimidating the patrons of the casino. It also reassures him because if anyone tries to get violent he knows his big sis will be there to protect him so he can be as reckless and as infuriating as he wants.

⭑ Overall AVENTURINE would be a very good younger brother to a violet evergarden! reader because he fulfills her wish to protect and she fulfills his want to be cherished.

[semisolidmind]

For the Lion’s Den AU, what was it like when Wukong and Macaque first met Peaches? Love at first sight? Didn’t really notice her until she did/said something? Did they meet her separately or together?

(i briefly mention how they met in one of the earlier lion's den posts, but i guess i should give it some explanation)

reader attends her first meeting understandably apprehensive. she was told explicitly by azure not to draw too much attention to herself, given the nature of his comrades. he would defend her if needed, of course, but she would have to be prepared for their... disapproval, if it arose. she began to imagine what truly frightening beings may be behind the gilded doors that lead to the council hall.

the three demons already seated at the large table were not at all what reader was expecting.

they were worse.

azure failed to mention that his allies were none other than the dreaded monkey king, the six-eared macaque, and the demon bull king. anyone paying even the slightest bit of attention to local gossip had at least heard of these three; the tales of the bloodshed and ruin that followed in their wake were known across the land.

reader had seen it firsthand when the occasional survivors of their conquests would make their way (bloodied, broken, and burned) into her village begging for shelter.

truly a terrifying band.

even more terrifying was the way reader made accidental eye contact with the monkey king every time she dared to glance upward. she'd look down as soon as his golden pupils shot over to her, but reader could feel them on her for a few moments afterwards. even looking away, she could sense the way his sight would drift over to her every time he would address azure; the seating arrangement (azure on one end of the table, reader right next to him, with the monkey king on the other) didn't give her anywhere to hide.

she had to admit, the simian demon was more... upbeat? than she expected? despite his appearance, he acted not as a conquering warlord meeting with his allies to discuss how best to subdue their enemies, but as a man sharing a table with his friends. he joked, he laughed, he talked about old stories.

and what surprised reader the most... was that the demons around him joined in.

were reader not horribly aware that she sat among some of the most powerful demon lords in the world, she'd have felt as though she were back in her village listening to the farmhands after a hard day's work.

it was unsettling knowing that these were the monsters who had killed many innocent people just like those farmhands, and felt no remorse.

reader couldn't wait for this meeting to be over.

---

wukong couldn't wait for this meeting to be over.

as much as he enjoyed talking with azure and the brotherhood, he was much more interested in the human woman azure had brought with him. he could tell macaque was interested, too; any mortal that could catch the interest of one so goal-driven as azure lion must be something special.

wukong really wanted to know what her deal was. but, as much as he would've liked to call on her during the meeting, he got the feeling she'd freeze in fear if he brought attention to her that way. she looked like she wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.

there were little tears at the corner of her eyes the last time she accidentally looked at him.

...it was kinda adorable.

the monkey king glanced over at his brother, finding him staring at the woman as well; seems he'd had the same idea. it also seemed like reader hadn't noticed macaque looking at her in favor of keeping tabs on wukong (which was kinda flattering; he half-jokingly decided that meant she liked him more).

wukong came up with a spilt-second plan. he hid his mouth behind thoughtfully steepled fingers (he was only pretending to listen to the battle strategies being discussed anyway) and whispered it so that only his ever-vigilant brother could hear him.

once the meeting was over, the brotherhood had dispersed outside to get some fresh air. the monkey king crossed the courtyard, intent on distracting azure. he asked the general to take stock of a recent battle so that he and a nearby scribe could make note of it. though azure was a tad confused (shouldn't they have done that right after the battle happened?), he begins to list off information such as casualties, equipment lost, rations used, etc.

conveniently taking the lion's attention away from his little companion, who seemed to be wandering off toward a grove of fruit trees a ways away from the courtyard.

wukong flicked his tail in a certain way, meaningless to anyone but his brother, who took that as his signal.

the shadowmaster sunk into his namesake as soon as eyes were no longer on him.

wukong will join up with them later, once his side of the plan is complete.

---

macaque usually didn't pay much attention to mortals, aside from when he was killing them.

but the fact that the ever-so-honorable (more like hypocritical) azure lion had a little mortal woman at his side? well...that was certainly interesting.

macaque knew that azure was much gentler when it came to human commoners, letting them escape before raiding their towns. the shadowy simian found it amusing that the lion believed he was being merciful; a crowd of defenseless humans with nowhere to go, out in the wilderness? they were basically a demon buffet. and if demons didn't get them, wild animals or the elements would.

deciding to keep that observation in his back pocket for the next time azure nagged him about killing villagers, macaque stepped out of the shadows. the human sat a short distance away, leaned back against a flowering tree. it looked like she was admiring the scenery, completely unaware of him.

what did azure call her...? reader?

hm. azure could've picked anything to give her as a protective pseudonym, and he chose that? wonder what that could possibly say about her. she doesn't really look the academic type.

although, now that he's able to see her a little closer...

perhaps the six-eared demon could understand why the lion was taken with this human, at least physically. she's pretty, she's got nice proportions...but if looks were all that mattered, there's definitely more outwardly attractive humans to choose. her appearance can't be all there is. so, macaque decides to speak to her.

he calls out, casually asking her how she's enjoying the view. she startles and begins to rush out apologies and promises that she didn't mean to come here, she didn't realize she wasn't supposed be here, she didn't mean any harm by it, she'll leave—

macaque laughs, genuinely. she definitely used to be a servant or lower class, no one of any sort of status would apologize just for being somewhere. he goes and sits himself down next to her before she can stand and run away.

he can practically feel her trembling—oh. oh, she's starting to tear up a little...but she's putting on such a brave face.

macaque's pupils dilate a little.

she's just too precious.

after assuring her she's not in trouble, he asks her about herself; where'd she come from, what was her life like before, how did she meet azure?

now that was an interesting story. she actually nursed the stupid cat back to health, despite the fact that he's a big, scary demon? she's brave, he'll give her that. her story would certainly explain why azure took a shine to her. macaque jokingly asks reader if she regularly took demons in, or if azure was just a special case—because he really wouldn't mind being taken care of by her, he says flirtatiously. reader laughs a little at that.

the demons' six ears twitch. he likes that sound, he decides.

macaque can tell reader's getting more comfortable with him. she's opening up, even joking back at him. the attractive blush on her face makes him want to tease her more. the darker-furred demon finds that he likes it when she flusters at a compliment.

he kinda...doesn't want to stop talking with her. it's so easy, like he's always known her.

of course, that's when wukong shows up.

---

wukong had managed to sit through all of azure lion's report without falling asleep, which was an accomplishment all on it's own. afterwards, he managed to get yellowtusk on a long-winded lecture on...something or other, which he always insisted his brothers sit for.

having successfully trapped azure and peng in a manners-mandated lesson (one he knew would keep them for a good while; once the old elephant got started talking, he was difficult to stop), wukong excused himself to "check on dinner preparations." he sped off on his cloud toward where the kitchens were, intent on making a u-turn where the others couldn't see.

if azure wanted to follow, he'd have to interrupt his brother; something wukong knew he'd be hesitant to do.

with that taken care of, the simian ruler quickly tracked his little mark, finding her and his brother under a flowering peach tree. deciding to eavesdrop on their conversation, he stepped gently from his cloud onto the branches above them.

after a moment listening to them (and getting a little jealous that mac had managed to get her to laugh, which was a pretty sound he wanted aimed at him), wukong swung down, shaking some flower petals free, landing gracefully in a crouch at reader's feet. he cheekily apologizes for "dropping in" so unexpectedly.

at her frightened gasp and backpedal, wukong rushes to reassure her he means no harm. he's just curious, he wants to hear her story too, honest! he keeps his tone gentle and playful, and attempts to be as non-threatening as possible (which is tough, since he knows his reputation precedes him).

when reader finally manages to speak (thanks to a little encouragement from macaque), wukong perks up. she doesn't seem as scared of his brother anymore at least, which is a very good sign. as she tells her story, he takes in her features up close.

after hearing how she cared for azure, wukong unknowingly echoes his brother's earlier sentiment; he kinda wants reader to take care of him, too.

he sees how her eyes shine with dewy unshed tears, her face flushed at the demons' proximity (they're both in her space, macaque practically leaning against her shoulder and wukong sitting so close in front that their knees were touching). he notices the way the dappled sunlight hits her skin, the way her lashes frame her eyes. he notes the way loose peach blossom petals decorate her hair. he has to stop himself from reaching out to tuck the little strands that have escaped her updo back into place.

wukong finds himself becoming a bit enamored. his tail curls a bit, and his smile becomes gentler the longer he looks at her.

after talking with her for a while and sharing his and macaque's own stories, wukong realizes that they've been gone for a few hours; the sun is beginning to set, the grove taking on a golden hue. they should probably actually go check on dinner, and (regrettably) return reader to azure.

buuuuut....maybe not right away.

wukong offers reader a tour of the stone palace before she leaves.

---

reader didn't know what was happening.

why was she able to speak with these— these murderers so easily? she should be running away, she should be excusing herself back to azure's side as politely and quickly as she could!

but...but she was having fun. she was having a friendly chat with the monkey king and six-eared macaque of all demons—and laughing, for heaven's sake.

though most of it stemmed from her fear of offending them, the fact that she's speaking with them at all feels like a betrayal of her race. these two, on their own, had killed hundreds, possibly thousands of humans. they could change their minds about playing nice at any moment.

but—but in this light, in this context...they were almost like any ordinary men. were it not for their obviously demon appearances (though reader couldn't say the two were unattractive; the soft glow of the evening light did them many favors), their status, their bloody history—reader could consider them good company.

thinking about it made her want to cry, like she'd been on the verge of the entire time she'd been on this mountain. she wanted to go home and have that cry in the privacy of her bedchambers.

so when the monkey king (he insisted she call him wukong) offered to take her on a tour of the palace, reader thoroughly considered refusing, politeness be damned. she should really just go back to the monster she knows, not run off with one she doesn't.

however, she was curious about what the rest of the cave looked like. she and azure had entered through the massive water curtain, been lead through a large foliage-infested pavilion full of wukong's chattering simian subjects, into the reception hall, and then immediately into the council room. she hadn't gotten to see much, but what she did see she considered very beautiful.

reader, through her anxiety, had marveled at everything she saw. flower fruit mountain was so...alive compared to camel ridge. she preferred it here, at least in that way.

maybe...maybe going on a little tour wouldn't be so bad. it'd give her an excuse for her absence from azure's side, for one (though it wasn't like she was doing anything wrong by not being next to her kidnapper every second). he could stand to not have her near for a few more hours. plus, how could he say no to something as innocent as a tour? and if the eager look on the monkey king's face along with the coaxing smile on macaque's were any indication, they probably weren't going to take "no" for an answer.

well, reader thought in a resigned manner, she'd already gotten this far. what was the harm in spending a little more time with these two?

[coffin-ramblings]

Ashley is "very not good" and "in fact very bad". That is what the promo card tells us.

The flippant attitude to cannibalism and murder, the abuse and manipulation of Andrew, and constant death threats to Julia prove that, so why do they need to say that? Isn't that enough to prove that she's a bad person? On the same promo, we are told Andrew "exists" and is a "doormat extraordinaire", which while true, is a lot more complicated than it looks. He does not just "exists", he was the one who raised Ashley thus one of her "creators", and he is not that much of (if he ever was) a doormat extraordinaire, he lets Ashley make the choices because it's what he wants, and has asserted power several times throughout the game for his and Ashley's benefit. So is what the promo says about Ashley completely true in light of that? Is the truth perhaps a lot more complicated, as it was with Andrew?

Furthermore, it's quite odd how Ashley is quick to accept being called a "tar soul" and how she implies she's a bad person too when she and Andy buried Nina's body.

And in Decay vision, if she kills Andrew, she goes on a rant about how she's glad he's dead, despite it clearly being the worst thing she has ever experienced.

While it's easy to think that she's having a mental breakdown and saying stuff out of madness, I have seen someone (can't find the post though) argue that this is Ashley's attempt to continue her self-narrative that she is a "bad person". She believes no one likes her because she's a bad person. She thinks not even Andrew likes her, and she "has to" drag him the "good person" to be her level of the "bad person" to keep him stuck with her. And when she kills her brother, her parent, her best friend, her soulmate, her everything, she immediately jumps to the justification that she is glad that he died instead of being devastated that he tried to kill her, because bad people can't feel remorse and heartbreak from having to kill someone they love, right?

And I'm inclined to agree with them. Ashley's thought process of pranking Nina is that she'll have her back as a friend after she learns her "lesson", even though she isn't happy being constantly left out or avoided by her.

She didn't hate Nina then, she was afraid of being even more lonely than before if Nina takes Andrew's attention away from her. And her initial reactions to Nina's death was to go "oops", try to justify why she died, cover it up by burying her, and after she's buried, Ashley says that she can just forget about her by not thinking about her for a long time.

That is not the reaction of someone "bad" reveling in their victory of an innocent person's death and trying to get away with it, that is the reaction of a kid who went through something traumatic, not want to get in trouble for it, and trying to rationalize it with something that sounds like an adult in their life (Renee?) would say. Then their brain triggers dissociative amnesia because remembering it would cause great stress and PTSD. Given how stressful Leyley's life was and still is, it makes sense that's her brain's main coping method, and Nina's death was just another instance of it shunting trauma away in an attempt to keep PTSD from happening. It is likely that amnesia made Ashley quite forgetful, as dissociative amnesia does not affect just one singular event, it also affects other memories as an overprotective measure. This also may be why she develops such a flippant attitude to their crimes: joking about them helps her not have to confront the weight of what they just did. Thus, even that attitude being a marker of her being a "bad person" is more questionable. Really, her actions that have the intent to directly harm people are what her make a bad person, but I digress.

The idea that her flippant attitude is perhaps not a good marker of her being a "bad person" is best shown in Episode 1 after they eat the neighbor. Ashley is made aware that her devil-may-care attitude is quite abnormal and worrying for Andrew, which worries her. If she talks before going to bed, she gets visibly confused and worried at Andrew saying she needs to see a professional.

When he later asks how she's so unbothered by the cannibalism, she replies she says she compartmentalizes nervously, which she then follows up afterwards with a joke to not have to dwell on it.

That specific coping method of compartmentalization is the same thing Andrew's brain does in his dream in Episode 2, where it ends with him having a flashback of burying Nina.

In fact, it's interesting how we never get to see adult Ashley's every day psyche. This is not the same as seeing her thoughts and perspectives in the waking world, nor is it the same as the Burial vision where it's Ashley's self-narrative of her life from childhood to adulthood and how she potentially changes it. We never get to see her dream without it being a vision, a glimpse of what her mind looks like in the present processing her experiences in the every day and the past.

This is particularly crucial because while Nina appears while Andrew's brain is doing its standard compartmentalizing of Andrew's current stresses, the only times Nina appears in Ashley's head (outside of Burial vision) were flashbacks of when she is doing this as a child. While it's framed as the moment when Andrew "proves" his devotion to her, flashbacks similar to PTSD ones can happen alongside dissociative amnesia, and they do occur in dreams. Even though Ashley has forgotten Nina's name and eyes, she is always there, haunting her dreams.

This all suggests that the plot twist of our perceptions of the characters in episode 3 is that when we finally get to play Ashley in her normal dreams or see her mental breakdown (maybe if she kills Andrew?), we find out that she feels some sort of guilt for Nina's death and perhaps their other crimes. Even though she insists to herself she doesn't feel guilt about that because she is a "bad person", it is all a lie that she manages to convince to herself and the audience. This would be very shocking as we're in her head a lot of the time, so we'd assume she can't lie to us. But she has all along, just like how Andrew has to us.

[scoobydoodean]

#okay wait do y'all think that she wasn't going to try and murder Dean?#Do you think he was going to get through to her?#convince her somehow to not try to stab him?#that she was telling the truth at all in that scene?#because she was totally going to try and kill Dean#like 100% that was going to happen#and if Sam hadn't shot her then Dean would have had to kill her and that would have been so much harder on Dean#like it was disturbing that Dean had a 3 day old monster child that wanted to kill him but who was then killed by her uncle Sam instead#and even more disturbing that they then never mention her again#but these are also the guys who left their half brother in Lucifer's cage and didn't lose any sleep over it so...#and I love Dean but killing Amy was an asshole move#and there's kinda a difference between killing an active imminent threat and killing someone in cold blood after the fact @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis

I didn't want to clutter someone else's post but this was partially directed at me? I've talked about the whole "Emma vs Amy" debate quite a few times, but I'll share a few thoughts.

Amy is a present, unrepentant, fully cognizant, adult, serial murderer. She is not actually sorry about what she did in any way. She believes that slaughtering humans like cattle to feed them to her son was the morally correct action even if it wasn't the ethical action because it kept her son alive. She is not correct.

Emma is a brainwashed child who's been psychologically conditioned for a few days. She has never killed anyone and only wants to kill Dean because some women who abused her told her to.

Hunters like Sam and Dean primarily deal in punitive justice, not preventative justice—and what I mean by that is that Sam and Dean try not to kill people (with powers or without powers) who have never killed anyone.

While I think you're right to point out that a preventative justice component is in play, that is not primarily how Dean makes the decision to go after Amy, and the reason we know that is because Amy's son swears to kill Dean and Dean does nothing about it because the boy has done absolutely nothing wrong.

Dean's application of his personal code is consistent here. He kills Amy, who is a murderer who killed four people, but he does not intend to kill Emma or Amy's son—both of whom wanted to kill him—because neither has actually killed anyone and both may choose not to.

You say that Emma was going to kill Dean 100%, but you don't actually know that because we never got to see that future. You assume Amy would never have killed again, but when you add up "murderer who regrets absolutely nothing" and "child vulnerable to catching illnesses" you get "Mom who absolutely would kill again as necessary and who would feel zero remorse doing so just like the last time".

I don't personally think SPN gives us any reason to suspect that three days of psychological conditioning from a cult is too much to overcome. We have seen other characters overcome much more serious levels of psychological conditioning intended to make them killers. For example, Cas and Alex. I'm not saying Emma wasn't trying to pull the wool over Sam and Dean's eyes in the scene where Sam shot her, but I am saying that doesn't actually mean in any way that she couldn't be convinced to actually choose a different path.

Under the same litmus test with which you suggest Emma's condemnation, we'd also condemn season 2 Sam for his potential "future" crimes. We are killing monsters before they actually become those monsters... because of the dark path someone else intends for them to go down. Amy—again—is an active present unrepentant serial killer.

I think sometimes people misremember the scene where Sam kills Emma—recalling the scene as a scene where Emma lunges at Dean with the knife and Sam steps in just in time to save his life, or where Dean is unarmed and Emma has him at knife point. But that is not what happened. Emma quite literally brought a knife to a gun fight. Dean had a gun pointed at her, and if she was thinking straight at all, she would have left to avoid being killed if given the chance—especially when Sam arrived. And had she not, Sam could have shot her at that point—but Sam didn't wait to see what she'd do. He wanted her dead, because even if she ran, he didn't think they were equipped to deal with surprise attacks from Dean's Amazon child. That is the decision Sam made after a brief moment to consider, and it makes sense to me given the headspace he was in at the time and his assessment of Dean's headspace as well, but it does not make his decision consistent with his previous or future behavior regarding people who have been psychologically conditioned to kill.

My own frustrations are more with fandom, for a thought process that really really does not make sense to me, where Emma deserves to die but Amy deserved to live. I do not agree with that premise. I do not understand why so much of fandom has the perspective that a child who hadn't shed a drop of blood and who was acting in response to a cult's torture, who brought a knife to a gun fight and had already been driven into a corner where she had no choice but to surrender or run—doesn't deserve a chance to choose something else before she's barely lived and before she's heard a loving word in her entire life, but an adult with full cognizance of their actions who went through with killing four people and doesn't regret it should go on with their life and is "just a good mom doing what she had to" and killing that person is the bad thing. I don't understand that. I don't think Dean killing Amy was wrong at all in the "hunters kill supernatural murderers" show. The only thing Dean did wrong was lie about it and not take enough care to keep her son from seeing it happen.

[autumnshighlady]

I've Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 24)

NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER

summary: Eris is now High Lord, but the three of you have a serious talk

warnings: Feysand slander, tooth-rotting fluff and adorableness to make up for the emotional last few chapters

word count: 5.5k

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

a/n: to those of you who thought the last chapter was the end, do not fear! There's still 5-10 more chapters to go. But the poor reader finally gets a break. This is a chill chapter with lots of fluff as a little treat, enjoy

part 1 // part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12 / part 13 / part 14 / part 15 / part 16 / part 17 / part 18 / part 19 / part 20 / part 21 / part 22 / part 23

read on ao3

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It had been three days since Eris killed Beron in the dungeons. After it was done, the new High Lord ordered Azriel to take you to your room, where you would be guarded and seen by servants for your injuries. You had protested, wanting to join your mates in dealing with the aftermath of the days’ events, but were quickly shot down.

“Absolutely not.” Eris had said sternly. “You have been beaten senseless and need time to heal. There are going to be lots of angry individuals and people attempting to challenge me, and I will not have you anywhere near that. We will find you when things settle down, I promise.”

Additionally, he had mentioned that he would be blaming his father and brother’s death on Hybern assassins – they had snuck into the castle in an attempt to wipe out the Vanserra bloodline while they slept. The story was that Beron had been slain during his late night walk around the dungeons, the assassins had attempted to kill you as well, but Malgorm died defending you. Hence an explanation for your injuries and a way to keep you sheltered from the chaos of Eris’s transition to High Lord.

The idea that Malgorm would be perceived as a noble hero in the narrative made you roll your eyes, but Eris assured you that there wasn’t a single individual in this court who didn’t know how vile Malgorm truly was. It made you feel slightly better.

You had been bored out of your mind for the past three days. Your injuries were almost fully healed, thanks to the work of the healers. Nesta had come to visit you a few times, brushing your hair or holding you in her arms until you fell asleep again. You yearned for the additional comfort of Eris’s presence, but he was understandably busy. Nesta insisted he was remorseful for his lack of time to see you, but you could feel it through the bond already.

Part of you was still angry with Eris for hiding his knowledge of the bond. Deep down, you knew he did it out of concern for your safety, but even though you had come to terms with the idea of Eris being your mate, the betrayal still stung. You tried to ignore it – Eris had worked so hard and sacrificed so much to help you and Nesta, the least you could do was give him the benefit of the doubt. But with everything that had happened, there hadn’t been a good time to talk about it with him yet.

Lirilla had also paid you one or two visits over the past three days. She had thanked you over a dozen times, tearfully expressing how she owed you an eternal debt for bringing her back at the cost of never seeing your own mother again if you were to die. You had teared up in response, a hundred different emotions running through you. At first, you had expected to feel some faint resentment, knowing your mother’s soul had brought back the Lady of Autumn.

But there was none. In fact, you had an opportunity few others had – to say a proper goodbye to a departed loved one, and have one final moment wrapped in their embrace. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t cried into your pillow several times over the memory, clinging onto it as if it would fade away into the breeze. But somehow, having Lirilla alive and present helped you.

Night began to fall on the third day since Beron’s death, and it took you great effort to pry yourself out of the warm bubble bath a servant had drawn from you. Lavender and mint clung to your scent from the healing soaps you had used to scrub yourself raw, still feeling the sticky sensation of Malgorm’s blood being painted over you. No matter how many times you bathed, it wouldn’t go away.

After putting on a pale grey nightgown, you settled into bed to read when a soft knock sounded at your door. The inside of your chest warmed and fluttered like a cat purring, and you felt the bond glow with happiness. You knew who it was before the door even opened. “Come in, Nesta.” You called out, propping yourself up on the lush green pillows.

Nesta entered your room, still wearing her dark red dress from dinner. Half her hair was pulled back into a braid, the other half cascading down her back in elegant waves. In her hand was a plate of fresh strawberries, the unmistakable rich smell of chocolate coming from the small bowl beside the fruit. 

Your mouth watered. “Please tell me those are for me.” 

“No, I brought them all this way just to make you watch me eat them in front of you.” Nesta said dryly, closing the door behind her. “Of course they’re for you. I snagged them from dessert. Figured you’d want some.”

“Obviously.” You said, shifting more to the centre of the bed and patting the space next to you. The bed was absolutely massive, leaving tons of room for the female to come sit beside you. After kicking off her shoes and sliding under the thick covers, she settled the plate carefully on her lap. Wordlessly, you curled into Nesta’s side, resting your head on her chest and sighing contently. Slender fingers came up to tangle themselves in your hair, gently caressing the locks. Nesta’s free hand reached down and grabbed a strawberry, dipping it in the chocolate before bringing it to your lips. Eagerly, you lifted your head slightly and moaned as warm dark chocolate hit your tongue, along with the sweet taste of the freshest strawberry you’d ever had. 

“Mmm…” You mumbled, swallowing the delicacy. “I could die happy right now.”

With the hand that was stroking your hair, Nesta smacked you lightly. “Don’t you dare even joke about that,” She scolded. “You’ve had too many close calls for that to be even remotely funny.”

“Whatever. Feed me another chocolate covered strawberry and I’ll shut up about it.”

Nesta rolled her eyes but obliged, and you rested your head back on her chest after swallowing. You couldn’t help but notice how different she was now from when you first met her in the House of Wind. Her body had filled out, soft flesh hiding the brittle bones that used to stick out from underneath her pale skin. For Nesta to be relaxed enough to be this close to you as a huge change. She was not on edge, body tense and flinching with every shift in movement. Even when you had tentatively held her hand or brushed your knee against hers while in the Night Court, she seemed afraid of the contact, always tensing before relaxing into you.

Now, she showed no signs of anxiety. You knew that physical touch was not something that Nesta was used to, but you could tell through the bond that she was comfortable doing it with you. 

“What are you thinking about right now?” Nesta asked, noting your silence.

“You.” You said truthfully.

She snorted. “Care to elaborate?”

“You’re different now.” You admitted, choosing your words carefully. 

But her voice was curious, not defensive as she spoke. “How so?”

“I feel like you’re more… you. You’re not putting up a wall anymore. You seem more comfortable in your own skin, that’s all.”

You felt Nesta rest her cheek on the top of your head. “I do. You’ve helped me with that.”

You shook your head. “No, Nesta. That was all you.”

“Perhaps. But you being there by my side throughout all of this has helped.”

You hesitated before asking the question that had been lingering in the back of your mind for a while now. “Do you have any regrets about doing this?”

A moment of silence filled the room. Part of you had constantly asked yourself if you were dragging Nesta into your plan too much. As much as you knew she wanted out of the Night Court, to switch courts so quickly after having her entire life uprooted by the Cauldron was a drastic change. 

“No.” Nesta said confidently. “Not for a second. I have no desire to return to the Night Court. While I will always love my sisters, it is clear that they care about their image more than what is truly best for me. I have no place there in their little found family, and that does not bring me any sadness. Now, I am free to make my own decisions free of their scrutiny, and that brings me comfort. So no, I don’t regret taking this journey with you.”

You closed your eyes, the rhythmic stroking of Nesta’s fingers through your hair making you tired. “We have to talk about Cassian at some point. About all of us, about what comes next.”

You felt Nesta sigh. You knew she didn’t want to talk about Cassian, and neither did you. But he was convinced that he is Nesta’s mate, something that could potentially bring a threat. If he invoked a blood duel, Eris would certainly win with his new power as High Lord. But you? You stood no chance against the Lord of Bloodshed.

“You’re right.” Nesta said slowly. “But I think we need to wait for Eris before we have this conversation. It involves him, too.”

“You’re right. When will I get to see him?”

“He said he’d come here after his last meeting. He should be here soon.”

You sat up, reaching for the plate and grabbing another chocolate covered strawberry. You felt a bit of the chocolate smear on the side of your lip as you ungracefully popped the strawberry into your mouth, attempting to keep the expensive duvet free of mess. 

“You’ve got something on your face.” Nesta snorted.

You rolled your eyes at her. “Wow, I didn’t notice. Thank you so much for pointing–”

Your sentence trailed off as Nesta reached down and slowly wiped the chocolate off your lip with her finger. You watched with wide eyes as she then took that chocolate covered finger and closed her lips around it, sucking the chocolate off. Her blue-grey eyes never left yours as she did so, making your body tingle.

“That was one of the top five hottest things you've done.” You said, causing Nesta to raise an eyebrow.

“Oh, you have a list now, do you?” She murmured, amusement across her sharp face.

You shrugged nonchalantly, but heat flooded your cheeks. Truthfully, everything Nesta did was absolutely mesmerising to you. It was almost impossible to actually think of five moments that stood out. “Maybe.” Was all you mumbled in response.

Nesta simply chuckled, then leaned down and sensually pressed her lips to yours. You moaned into her mouth, melting into the touch. It was different from the tender two kisses you shared previously – ones that were gentle and soft, as if you were both afraid that the other would disappear from in front of you at any moment. No, this kiss was more passionate, sending goosebumps up your arms despite the warmth of the room. She tasted like chocolate and wine, and it took all your self control not to simply melt right there and then.

When Nesta eventually pulled away, she cradled your head back into her chest. You were so comfortable, encased in the expensive fabric of the lush bedsheets and cuddled up against Nesta’s side. A distinct knock on the door snapped you back to consciousness. “Three guesses who that is.” You muttered groggily.

Nesta snorted, but called out, “Come in, Eris.” 

Surely enough, the door swung open to reveal Eris. His red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and he was dressed in his sleepwear of a white tunic with long, billowy sleeves tucked into loose brown pants. Despite the casual look, the soft hum of power coming from the male made it hard to mistake him as anything other than a High Lord.

“How’d you know it was me?” Eris asked, closing the door behind him as he sauntered into your room.

“Oh please, you knock like a pampered princess.” You said playfully, popping another strawberry in your mouth.

Eris narrowed his eyes at the delicately placed bowl of melted chocolate on Nesta’s thigh. “Please tell me you’re not getting chocolate on my expensive bed sheets.” 

“You’re High Lord, can’t you just use your fancy new power to remove any spills?” 

“Ugh, please don’t remind him he’s High Lord.” Nesta insisted, rolling her eyes. “It’ll get to that pretty head of his and he’ll become even more insufferable than he already is. Besides, he hardly needs reminding with how much he throws his new title in everyone’s faces every two seconds.”

You laughed, causing Eris to look down at you from where he was standing at the end of the bed, pressing a pale hand to his chest with mock hurt. “Your cruelty wounds me,” He sighed. “I do not know what I did to deserve such treatment.”

“You make it too easy.” You patted the space next to you on your other side. Eris scoffed, but peeled back the covers and crawled under them anyway, sliding right next to you and resting his back against one of the many pillows behind you. You leaned forward and grabbed another chocolate covered strawberry, bringing it up in front of his face. “Here you go, oh mighty High Lord.” You said dramatically.

The male raised an eyebrow, but kept his amber eyes on yours as he leaned forward and gently took the fruit from your hand with his mouth, lips brushing your fingers ever so slightly. You suppressed a shiver at the sensation, trying to ignore Eris’s moan as he savoured the rich chocolate. You straightened up, no longer leaning against Nesta’s chest but instead still keeping your shoulder pressed against hers.

“Delicious.” Eris muttered after swallowing. “And exactly what I needed after today.”

“What did you get up to today?” You asked. “Or any of the past three days, since I haven’t been allowed outside of this room to see for myself.”

Eris shot you a light glare. “As both of us have explained to you several times, you are in here because we need to wait until things settle for a few days. Right now, you are vulnerable. Both physically and in terms of your position as an unwed and unengaged female. While I intend to eliminate anyone with the same mindset as my father regarding females of your status who refuse to change, they might not yet be revealing themselves. Many have tried to challenge me these past few days, and every one of them has been turned to ash. I need to ensure nobody will come after you.”

You sighed, knowing Eris was right. A female like you without ties to a male would be an easy target for those looking to cling to Beron’s ways. You briefly wondered exactly how many people Eris had slain in his first few days of being High Lord, but dared not ask. “Did everyone believe the story about Hybern assassins being responsible?” You chose to ask instead.

“Mostly.” Eris said. “Those who seemed suspicious have been dealt with. But it matters not. I am High Lord now, and the court knows that if they dare question how I came to be in this position, they will not live to see the next sunrise.”

“So what happens now?” Nesta spoke up. “With the three of us, I mean. And we still have the Night Court to deal with, not to mention Cassian.”

“Given your sister’s situation with her pregnancy, I believe the Night Court will be occupied by that for the next while.” Eris said. “She is due soon, is she not?”

Nesta nodded, but said nothing. 

“Can we help Feyre?” You asked hesitantly, feeling Nesta’s turmoil through the bond. While she did not part on good terms with her sister, you could tell she felt anguish at the idea of Feyre dying because of this pregnancy. And as much as you disliked the High Lady, you did not wish such a fate upon her either.

Eris spoke with caution. “I have spoken with our best healers. And to be truthful, yes, we have the means of removing the baby surgically rather than having little Archeron try to deliver the child naturally. But I do not think it’s a question of whether or not we can, but whether or not we should.”

You blinked in surprise, feeling Nesta tense beside you. “What do you mean?” You asked. “If we have a way to save her life, why not use it?”

Eris shifted slightly, turning on his side to face you. “Because it is leverage we can use against them. A bargaining tool. We could promise to save the High Lady’s life on the condition that they leave us alone, permanently. That they are never to enter our court without permission, including the brute.”

You bit your tongue. Nesta was silent beside you, her expression unreadable. “Nesta?” You asked quietly, pressing your arm into her. “What do you think we should do?”

There was a minute of silence before she straightened her spine, grey eyes finally landing on you and Eris as she spoke. “The Feyre I knew who went under the mountain is gone.” She said, her voice like steel. “Once she accepted the mating bond, she changed. Rhys changed her. The Feyre I knew would never just sit by and let her mate make the decisions for her. The Feyre I knew would never have sent me to be locked up if Rhys hadn’t planted the idea in her head first. She used Elain as a bargaining chip to strong arm me into doing her bidding. If she has no qualms about using our lives for her own gain, then I have no issue doing the same with hers. But under one condition. Feyre has to agree to it. Hers is the only opinion that matters. Rhys cannot accept the terms, only she can. It will be her choice, and her choice alone.”

Eris nodded respectfully. “Very well then. Once everything settles further over the next week or so, I will set up a meeting with the Night Court and we can propose our bargain.”

“Cassian can’t be there.” Nesta said suddenly. “I can’t see him. Please.”

“We won’t let him try and take you,” You grabbed her hand, holding it reassuringly. “I promise.”

Nesta bit her lip, worry lining her features. “He thinks we’re mates. I don’t trust him not to try something.”

“Cassian does not stand a chance against us.” Eris said calmly, fiddling with the emerald ring on his finger. “Although I am curious as to why he is acting like a mated male when Estelle said he is not mated to you, Nesta. There’s something else at work here, maybe having him at the meeting will allow us to figure out what it is.”

Nesta hesitated, but exhaled softly. “Fine. Cassian can be there. But the dragons will come to the meeting.”

“They will be delighted.” Eris chuckled. “I am sure they will happily eat anyone who dares protest against our lovely mating bonds.”

You went still, the soft sheets of the bed suddenly stifling. Aside from your brief moment after saving Lirilla, you hadn’t yet acknowledged or discussed your mating bond with Eris yet. With Nesta it was easier, as you had plenty more time together to mull things over. But with Eris, it all happened so fast. The High Lord duties swept him away from you before you could even propose the discussion.

“Eris…” You said carefully after a few moments. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew we were mates?”

At first, the male did not reply. Eris Vanserra usually had a witty reply for everything, a silver tongue that came up with a response within a half second no matter how unprepared he was for the question. So you turned to face him. Eris’s expression was one of regret, tender sadness in his usually stone cold eyes. But the mask was off. He had no need for it anymore.

“There were so many things happening at once.” Eris said slowly. “I did not know how you would react, truthfully. We all needed to be focused, just until we were safe from my father. I did not want to risk compromising what I’ve been working towards for years. It is selfish, I am well aware. But it is the truth. If you knew about the bond, who knows how different things could have been? And if anyone found out, it would be used against us. I could not let that happen.”

The High Lord swallowed thickly, his slender hand gently coming to cover your fingers as he continued. “I know what a breach of trust this was, little fox, especially after you put your faith in me. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it, because I selfishly cannot stand the idea of you hating me for it.” 

You inhaled a shaky breath, wetness lining your eyes. You felt Nesta rubbing your back comfortingly, as if she, too, felt your pain through the bond. “I don’t hate you for it.” You said quietly. “I understand your reasoning, I just wish none of this had to be this way.”

Eris smiled sadly. “I wish that very much, too. Although this path has led me to you, to Nesta. So despite everything, I have no other regrets about how things played out.”

“Me too.” Nesta said from behind you, squeezing your shoulder. “It was all worth it to get out of that situation, to end up with both of you.”

Your heart fluttered as you smiled. Even though the past months have been hell, they lead you to Nesta and Eris. Everything you had been through, it was all worth it to get here. Because you knew that even though the horrors you had endured would keep you up at night, you’d have your mates to ease the pain.

But your smile faded as reality sunk back in. “What about the wedding?” You asked. “If you two are getting married, where does that leave me? I know marriage is a sham at the end of the day, and the mating bond is what truly connects us. But I admit that I will not feel like an equal if you two are wed.”

You felt the bed shift as Eris straightened beside you. A hint of a blush came over his cheeks as he coughed before speaking. “Well, I thought of a solution for that. It’s a bit outlandish, and something that would definitely make the majority of this court lose their minds over it. And don’t be afraid to tell me I am a fool for this, Mother knows everyone else will be–”

“Eris.” Nesta said sharply, cutting off the male’s rambling. “Spit it out already.”

You could feel Eris’s nerves in your chest as if they were your own. You had never seen him so flustered before, so unsure of what to say. 

“Well,” He continued, taking a deep breath. “It is not unheard of in Pythian’s history for a High Lord to take two wives…”

“You’d want to marry both of us?” Nesta said incredulously.

Eris blushed further, his eyes narrowing angrily at the heat of his cheeks. “Well, it would be a good way to ensure you are both protected–”

“Stop.” You cut him off firmly, squeezing his hand. Eris was silenced immediately, doubt flickering in his eyes as if he were afraid this would happen. “Fuck the political scheming and doing everything for the sake of a plan. We’ve made it this far, guys. It’s time to think about what we want, not what we should do. So, Eris, what do you want?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be the worst thing to have you both as my wives…”

Nesta snorted. “A heartfelt proposal, Eris. Well done.”

Eris shot a playful glare at the female. “Smartass. Watch it, or I’ll leave your finger without a ring and keep (Y/N) all to myself.”

“Oh, please. You’re too obsessed with me to do that.”

“I am afraid you are right, Nesta Archeron.”

The three of you laughed, the harmony of it echoing throughout the spacious room like a song. But Nesta’s serious tone returned, cutting the laughter off. “But seriously, Eris, are you proposing this because this is what you want, or because of the mating bond?”

Eris shifted as he reached forward, taking each of you and Nesta’s hands in his own. The authority of the High Lord rang in his voice as he spoke, his amber eyes meeting Nesta’s blue-grey ones. “Make no mistake, I am happy about the mating bond. But it does not create this desire from nothing. It merely amplifies what is already there. The desire to marry you, Nesta, began the day we danced together in the Hewn City. I knew then that I wanted you as my equal at my side. I wanted you because you were you, sharp tongue and all, not because a mating bond made it be so.” 

Eris then turned to face you. “The desire to marry you, (Y/N), began the day you came to me with your plan. I saw your resilience, your brilliant mind, and I wanted you. Not for your magic, or your connection to the Mother. I didn’t even know you were my mate then, or that you possessed a unique power, and I wanted you. My desire for both of you did not come from wanting something from you, or because of a mating bond. You asked me what I wanted, (Y/N), and this is it. I want you and Nesta as my equals, my wives, my High Ladies by my side. If that is what you wish, of course.”

You teared up, seeing Nesta do the same. Eris spoke so fiercely, so passionately it pulled at your heart strings. All this time, you had prepared yourself to see Eris and Nesta marry for political convenience, leaving you on the side with your secret ancient vows to Nesta that could never be shared with the outside world. You had prepared yourself to put aside your feelings for Eris, and your feelings for Nesta, to once again make a sacrifice for the ones you loved.

But you didn’t have to do that. Somehow, along the way Nesta and Eris had fallen for each other. And you had fallen for Eris, and he for you. The bond the three of you shared was deeper than any mating bond – it was a bond of survival, of fighting for a better life. A life you now couldn’t imagine sharing with anyone else.

“I would like that very much.” You said through tears, squeezing Eris’s hand.

“And I as well.” Nesta said softly. “Although I never thought of being High Lady.”

“You are both free to pass on that,” Eris said. “It would simply be an added bonus. But you both have enough power to be my equal as High Ladies, and you would be free to be as involved or removed from court politics as you wish.”

You glanced at Nesta, meeting her eyes. You knew Nesta had never possessed any ambitions to become a leader. She was content to simply exist in her own life, as long as she had control over it.

But this opportunity Eris was presenting could be used to help people. All you wanted was to make Autumn safe for females in a way Rhysand failed to do with his own court. Perhaps instead of relying on Eris to make it happen, you could do it yourself. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” You said.

“Me neither.” Nesta replied, nodding. “If my sister can be High Lady, so can I.”

“Feyre Archeron does not know how to run a court,” Eris snorted. “You’re the sister much better suited to the job.”

“One more thing.” You interjected, turning to Nesta. “Technically, we are already married due to the spell we used to create the daemati bond. But I would like to redo it, with a proper wedding. That way, the world will know that we aren’t just married to Eris, but to each other as well. I want everyone to know you’re just as much mine as Eris’s. If you’ll have me.”

It was not how you could have ever imagined proposing to Nesta, fumbling over your words so casually as if you were suggesting trying a new food for lunch. But it felt right. You wanted to be married to Nesta properly, in the eyes of the world. True, you had known her for less than a year. But you knew in your heart you would want to marry her eventually – why not now while she was already marrying Eris?

Nesta’s lips twitched for a second, as if she were instinctively fighting off her smile. But then her face loosened, and she allowed her smile to stretch across her cheeks fully. “Of course I’ll have you, you fool.” She said softly. “Without a shadow of a doubt.”

“In that case, I shall inform the priestess so she can modify the ceremony.” Eris said, grinning in a way that made your heart sing. “If my father could see this, he would lose his mind. As will many members of the court, probably. Having two High Ladies married to each other and me will be a lot for them to comprehend.”

“It’s actually possible, right?” Nesta asked him. “For all three of us to be married?”

“There is no law or religious text that prevents it, my dear.” Eris reassured her. “It will be legitimate, I swear.”

You smiled, another tear of happiness slipping down your cheek. “So this is really happening, we’re all getting married?”

Eris nodded. “Yes, love. We are. And we can take as much time as we want to plan the wedding so it’s exactly how we want it, not how my father wanted it to be. It will be a day about all three of us.”

It was like a heavy boulder had been lifted off your chest. All of the anxiety of the past few weeks was gone, replaced by pure happiness at the idea of marrying Nesta and Eris. Before, the talk of a wedding filled you with dread, a reminder that you were engaged to a cruel male who would delight in torturing you however he could. The idea of a wedding made you feel sick, and sad at the same time knowing you’d have no say in any of the planning.

But with Eris as High Lord and your soon to be new position as High Lady, everything would be different. You would be able to pick out your dress, the flowers, the cake, everything. After months and months of having no control over your life, you were finally taking the reins back.

You wrapped your arms around Eris, pulling him in for a tight embrace. “Thank you.” You muttered.

When Eris pulled away, his amber eyes burned into yours. It ignited something in you, making your blood sing as his voice dropped as he spoke. “I know by tradition I am supposed to wait until the wedding to kiss my brides. But I would really like to kiss you now. Both of you.”

“Fine by me.” You said, your heart racing and drowning out the sound of your own voice.

Eris smirked, his hands coming up to either side of your face to cup your jaw. Towering over you, he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to your own. Instantly, it was like a tidal wave of lust surged through the bond, as you melted into his mouth. It wasn’t the seductive, claiming kiss you had expected an Autumn court male like Eris to give. It was just as sensual, but softer, like a warm hearth rather than blazing wildfire. It was a kiss of love, of promise for a better world.

Your hands brushed the fabric of Eris’s tunic as he kissed you, and you felt the male shiver beneath your touch. When his lips finally abandoned yours, you let out an involuntary whine at the loss of contact. 

“Don’t worry, darling,” Eris purred, his thumb stroking your cheek. “There will be plenty of time for more later.”

 The High Lord then turned towards Nesta, taking her hands in his own. You watched as he leaned forward, kissing her with the same tenderness he had with you. Nesta’s eyes fluttered closed at the contact, her body relaxing. They were like a scene from a painting. Nesta’s wavy locks contrasting with the fiery straight hair of Eris, their heads angled so perfectly as their lips moulded together with longing. 

As you watched your mates kiss, you felt no jealousy. No anger. No feeling of exclusion. You only felt love – happiness that the two people you cared for most loved each other just as much as you loved them.

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[acourtofthought]

I haven't seen this particular gem of a post but there is apparently one going around stating that everyone in the ACOTAR world has suffered more than Lucien, that he doesn't know suffering.

Just a little starter here. The first book began with Lucien's friend being murdered because they needed to sacrifice him in order to break the curse on Spring.

"Autumn Court is ...cutthroat. Beautiful, but his brothers see each other only as competition, since the strongest of them will inherit the title."

"Lucien fell in love with a faerie whom his father considered to be grossly inappropriate for someone of his bloodline." "His father had her put down. Executed, in front of Lucien, as his two eldest brothers held him and made him watch."

"Without his title protecting him, his brothers thought to eliminate one more contender to the High Lord's crown. Three of them went out to kill him."

"But he has never forgotten what they did to her, or what his brothers tried to do to him. Even if he pretends that he has."

"She took his eye as punishment. Carved it out with her own fingernail, then scarred his face. She sent him back so bloody that Tamlin...The High Lord vomited when he saw his friend."

Lucien's brothers lurked on the edges of the crowd - no remorse, no fear on their handsome faces. Amarantha sighed. "I thought you would have learned your lesson, Lucien. Though this time your silence will damn you as much as your tongue." Lucien kept his eyes shut. Ready - he was ready for Rhysand to wipe out everything he was, to turn his mind, his self into dust.

"but only after she made Tamlin bestow Lucien's punishment. Twenty lashes." (remember, because he tried to help Feyre in her trial? Also she prevented Lucien from being able to heal).

"Lucien lay chained to the center of the floor on the other side of the chamber, his remaining russet eye so wide that it was surrounded with white. / Again he was to be Amarantha's toy to torment."

"Don't give me that look, Lucien." SIlence again. Then a vicious snarl, and a shudder of magic rocked the house. Tamlin's voice had been low, deadly. Do not push me on this. I didn't want to know what was happening in that room, what he'd done to Lucien.

Thoughts slammed into me, images and memories, a pattern of thinking and feeling that was old, and clever and sad, endlessly sad and guilt-ridden, hopeless -

"She - she didn't act that way at..." Lucien. Lucien had hated her. Had made vague, vicious allusions to not liking her, to being approached by her. I was going to throw up. Had she...had she pursued him like that? Had he...had he been forced to say yes because of her position?

He might have completed the Great Rite with Ianthe of his own free will, but he certainly hadn't enjoyed it. Some line had been blurred - badly.

I waited the five minutes it took Tamlin to decide not to kill Lucien, and then smiled. I wondered if Lucien had pieced it together. That I had known Tamlin would come to my room tonight, after I had given him so many shy touches and glances today.

"Back off". "Do not touch me," he growled." Where Lucien stood, back against a tree - twin bands of blue stone shackled around his wrists. / And in this case...holding Lucien against that tree as Ianthe surveyed him like a snake before a meal. She slid a hand over the broad panes of his chest, his stomach. And Lucien's eyes shot to me as I stepped between the trees, fear and humiliation reddening his golden skin.

As the youngest of seven sons, I wasn't particularly needed or wanted."

"Did you think it was mere hatred that prompted my brothers to do their best to break and kill me?"

The circle of people who now claimed to be Feyre's new family...It was what, long ago, he'd once thought life at Tamlin's court would be. An ache like a blow to the chest went through him.

"I am Lucien. Seventh son of the High Lord of the Autumn Court. And a whole lot of nothing.

"I do not belong in the Autumn Court. And I'm willing to be I'm no longer welcome at h- the Spring Court." Home, he had almost said.

"The same things he does now." Helion waved a hand. "Belittle her, leave bruises where no one but him will see them." (So to recap, Beron physically and verbally abuses his WIFE, killed Lucien's love and people think he had an easy childhood with this man?)

It would explain why his father and brothers detest him so much - why they have tormented him his entire life.

I hadn't asked Lucien any questions about that visit - to Tamlin. Lucien hadn't explained the black eye and cut lip, either.

"I don't have anywhere else to go." "You ruined any chances I have of going back to Spring. Not to Tamlin, but to the court beyond his house. Everyone either still believes the lies you spun or they believe me complicit in your deceit" - Side note but even knowing this, about how the people feel about him because of Feyre's schemes, Lucien still allowed the NC to permanently station him there in SF. It's really cute of E/riels to think Az is having such a rough go of it, living in the Night Court with the brothers who love him, while Lucien just has it so easy, right?

The male had grown up alongside Eris. Had dealt with Eris's and Beron's cruelty. Had his lover slaughtered by his own father.

This paragraph is about Eris: Beron had tortured his own son for information, rather than thanking the Mother for returning him. / The male had been raised with every luxury and privilege - on paper. But who knew what terrors Beron had inflicted upon him?

So with that said, If that's how Beron treated his own son how do you think he treated the son he suspected belonged to another man?

Cassian knew Beron had murdered Lucien's lover. If the High Lord of Autumn had been willing to do that, what wouldn't he do?

So by all means, I'd love to know how a character who we have canon evidence of suffering from his younger years all the way through the present has it so much easier than everyone else?

Someone's selective reading is showing!!

[octoberwitchsblog]

bloodraven headcanons ^^

He used to get mocked a lot as a kid for the way he looked and it was Daemon Blackfyre who encouraged him to get better at the sword and ignore the comments

He started training with the bow and arrows because he quickly understood that he would get his ass kicked in a close combat.

He looked up to Daemon Blackfyre way more than he would ever admit it and even after his death, he thinks of him sometimes.

"What would Daemon have done ?"

Daemon is Brynden's silver springs situation

He never fully felt like a Targaryen nor a Blackwood but he got more interested in his Blackwood heritage during his late teens when he had his first visions.

His father didn't care much about him but Daeron would always be kind and even if he would never admit it, Brynden saw him more as a father than a brother.

Despite everything happening in King's Landing, he never forgot his sisters Gwenys and Mya and still took care of them until he was sent to the Wall. His only demand to Aegon V before he left was for him to take care of them too.

I like to think that Brynden started having visions and dreams during his teens and knew what was going to happen with Daemon. He tried to stop it as much as he could but it didn't work and it taught him about his own abilities.

"You'll see things you'll never be able to change."

He hates Aegor because he's the only person in the world who has the power to make him feel small. Even when he grows up, every time he hears Aegor's name, he feels like the powerless kid he was, just as he felt powerless when Aegor took his eye. Brynden spent his whole life escaping that powerless feeling and he succeeded ; the only thing that still reminds him of the things he wants to forget is Aegor.

Aegor getting with Shiera makes it even worse to him because Shiera's the only person he allows himself to be vulnerable with. And it also makes him mad insecure every time he remembers it.

He can spend hours justifying the logic and inevitability of Daemon's death but every time he thinks about it, all he feels is guilt. The only thing that stops the guilt from becoming overwhelming is his conviction that he acted for the good of the realm.

Brynden's philosophy when it comes to being Hand of the King is that he would never kill an innocent child unless that innocent child's death would benefit the realm. From the moment he kills Daemon and people see him as a monster and a kinslayer, he becomes more ruthless because he knows he'll never be able to win people's trust. He wouldn't let remorse or doubt stop him.

He's the local Machiavellian prince basically.

"How many eyes does lord Bloodraven have ? A thousand eyes and one."

He finds the riddle genuinely amusing because he understands that there's a certain power in being feared.

He's obsessed with the Blackfyres because if one of them gets the throne, Daemon would've died for nothing. Why would you have killed him just to let one of his sons have the throne years later ?

He was a quiet kid and became a stern man. His quietness made people even more uncomfortable than his looks.

He's an overall very sickly dude and he's always been that way : more frail than the other kids even when he got better with the sword, bow and arrows, the sunlight gives him headaches if he stays in it too long and his body is thin and more bony than muscly. Physically, he's the total opposite of Bittersteel.

He always had a crush on Shiera but he knew that he was in love with her when he came back from the Redgrass field and she was the only one who looked at him like he still had two eyes.

He has a very dark sense of humor that works really well on Shiera.

Aerys was one of his first friends and he has a lot of affection for him but he loses respect for him when he sees the kind of King he is, especially after Daeron.

His eye socket hurts him pretty much on a daily basis but at different intensities his whole life and he's a literal master at hiding his health issues. He only said it to Shiera but Aerys has known for years too.

After naming him Hand, Maekar found himself surprised to see how fragile Brynden looked from up close. He just became so good at using the fear and hatred he causes to everyone that people are almost surprised to find that he's, in fact, just a man.

He spent his time at the Wall coughing terribly because of the cold. The men of the Night's Watch may not have loved him but Brynden was surprised to see that at least, they respected his thoughts. His cold logic had more success with the men of the watch than with the rest of the realm.

[inamindfarfaraway]

It's so cool that the Viren-Claudia-Callum foil triangle each have a different approach to the "I would do anything for you" sentiment that they all define themselves by.

Pre-coma Viren doesn't fully mean it even when he believes he does. He says that his loyalty is to the best interests of his family and humanity, but as K'ppar points out in his dream, he keeps putting his own ambition and self-importance before anything else. He doesn't consider sacrificing his life for Harrow until Harrow brings it up. Even after that, he never once thinks of giving up the dragon prince's egg; the belief that the prince was killed is part of the reason the assassins are here and returning him to them might appease them, might at least make them spare Harrow's son, which the man Viren loves as a brother would obviously want. He orders Soren to kill the princes to guarantee Viren the throne. He orders Claudia to save the egg instead of Soren if she had to choose. Harrow, Ezran, Callum and his own child are not worth losing the power of Zym to his enemies for. He isn't willing to sacrifice his power or vision, his selfish interests, but is instead willing to sacrifice the people he loves, which is why he's evil. The promise is conditional. But what lets him redeem himself is that the love at the base of it really is unconditional. He still loves Harrow and genuinely expresses this in his dream, overwhelmed with relief when he appears to be alive. He still loves his children, even after all the horrible things he does to them and the lack of remorse he shows for those actions until his death. The coma reminds him of that enduring love, and makes him reevaluate how he dismissed it.

Claudia is the opposite. When she says she'll do anything for someone, she means it with everything she has. Herself, her moral integrity, other people's lives, the fate of the world - nothing is more important to her than her perceived responsibility to her loved ones. Including what her loved ones themselves want. But she can also change her mind about who she loves, at least enough to see them as against her rather than with her. Callum is her friend, until he isn't. Soren is her family, until he isn't and only Viren is worth protecting. Like her father’s did before her, her value of Soren’s wellbeing has been slipping from “That’s all that matters” to “That doesn’t matter!” People can be disqualified by opposing her desires and ideology. The promise is unconditional, but the love isn't.

And then you have Callum, who seems to have the best approach of the three. He means his promise when he says it and will never rescind it later on. His devotion is both absolute and everlasting. He will do anything for Ezran and Rayla, putting them before his own interests; and he would never consider them expendable. That's great! After all, having conditions of worth in relationships they don't belong in is bad. It leads to Viren and Claudia hurting, manipulating and betraying their family and friends, and such behaviour feels viscerally wrong. They're traitors. They're abusers. Those are serious crimes. Those labels are grievous insults meaning ‘Bad Person’. But unlike both Viren and Claudia, Callum doesn't have the arrogant belief that he always know best to warp his love into something self-serving. His genuine selflessness prevents him from ever becoming that kind of person. He does cut ties with Claudia, but only after she proves to be untrustworthy and have enduring harmful intent toward him, his brother and Rayla, so it's a perfectly reasonable boundary to set. His version of "I would do anything for you" just makes him caring and heroic. Right?

Until you realize that technically, if he had to kill everyone else on the continent in order to save Ezran and Rayla, all evidence from canon suggests that he would.

[borgialucrezia]

Lowkey if Juan had an arc about his time in Spain, how would you write it?? I hadn’t thought about the resemblance between Lucrezia and his wife before this blog and now my eyes are OPEN. Do you think she would catch on?? I also find it interesting considering the contrast between Lucrezia and Sancia, who Juan maybe didn’t love but was at least physically attracted to. Like how much it manifests in his subconscious as the family becomes more entrenched in the papacy (and by extension the more he is torn from the siblings he wants to cling to) is insane

"Neil [Jordan] was always keen on Juan coming back different and secure and grounded. That’s how I wanted to play it when he came back. I think the shock of Lucrezia actually manning up and trying to kill him had a huge effect as well. He’s growing and maturing. He definitely was becoming an adult. Certainly there are moments in the second season where he manipulates other people in a similar the way they’ve been manipulating him. The scene between Jeremy and myself with the dagger is a last ditch frantic attempt at trying to win him over. It’s kinda successful in a weird way. He’s just a bit useless at that point" — DAVID OAKES

knowing the intent behind his development while he was in spain, i would have definitely focused on his experiences, challenges, and growth. i feel that if the show had given more screen time to juan during his time in spain, his downward spiral would have been even more sorrowful than it already is. it would've allowed more people to understand and empathize with his character, making his untimely fate more poignant. considering he has always been one of the most intriguing morally ambiguous characters and such a tragic figure throughout the show, exploring his time in spain could have added depth.

i imagine him spending a lot of his time there thinking and self-reflecting on what went wrong between him and lucrezia, his baby sister whom he's fond of and with whom he is his best self. she loved him until yesterday. and in losing her love for him, he loses a chunk of his capacity for kindness. after she tried to kill him, everything slowly hits him:

the peasant he murdered wasn't some random guy who wanted to take advantage of his 'angelic sister'; he was his sister's lover. his sister tried to murder him back. and that manic episode juan had after the realization that his face is just like, 'my beloved lucrezia tried to kill me…'—a kind of shock of knowing she hated him and facing up to it.

then his father threatens him with peasanthood if he doesn't shape up and get married, and subsequently exiles him to spain, leaving him to cry shamefully and out of frustration because he doesn't quite comprehend why everyone is angry at him, since he believes what he has done is to protect his sister and family in general lol.

what takes the cake for him is cesare and lucrezia solidifying their relationship by banding against him. the fact that seeing her aligning herself with their brother (who already hated him for not measuring up to the family's expectations and sees him only as a hindrance) against him is really what has provoked juan to act like an arrogant narcissist towards lucrezia. he spitefully refuses to admit he has wronged her (even though we saw him earlier feeling remorse and trying to make amends), instead, he bickers with her.

at juan's departure to spain family dinner, he makes a speech of gratitude to their mother, who, he says, held the family together through all their early hardships in rome, despite the romans' harsh treatment of her. it's basically a speech about how their blood binds them and they should all stick together instead of fighting. this is one of the main reasons i'm fond of his character because, despite his troublesome nature, he has self-awareness about their hurt and his self-destructive nature driven by pettiness. during the speech, he appears genuinely serious, devoid of snarkiness, conveying hurt caused by their internal conflicts. he's too complex yet heartfelt about his feelings for his family and always has their best interest at heart, even when having misguided notions to protect them.

*a moment of silence for the most fucked up dysfunctional incestuous siblings ever*

"I felt in the second season I got to play every aspect of Juan’s character. Some of which I would have liked to explore further, but he kind of had a finite life expectancy (laughs). Opposite François, it was nice to watch Cesare do something, which he probably shouldn’t have done. You can kind of justify most of what he does but as soon as you get that final sequence you realize that Cesare is doing something purely for his personal jealousy. I always wanted to play that. You’ve got this boy. And he is a boy at that stage still. He’s confessing that he’s always been quite miserable and been quite harsh on himself. He’s given them every opportunity to change their mind and see him for what he is. The ability (for Juan) to come back from Spain and be everything that everyone didn’t expect me to be. You get this noble character, who comes back and you think he’s been made into a better character. There’s a strength of character to Juan that everyone doesn’t give (him) quite enough credit for. I think he would have actually won Forlì if it weren’t for his brother. He finally gets things in order. He finally starts to work well. He gets a whole siege together and it’s working. Then it all turns around because of Cesare. And he gets shot in the leg (laughs). How many times must he try to get something right before someone ruins it for him (laughs). He has the worst luck. He never gets a good break. A lot of the times it's his own fault – he’s a bit of a douchebag. But every now and then when he gets it right, he still gets it in the end. He does a successful siege. He loses. He apologizes to his brother and gives his heart to him. And he still gets stabbed and thrown off a bridge (laughs)." — DAVID OAKES

*self-indulgently posting juan/lucrezia for shipping biases purposes*

in his triumphant return to the vatican from spain, he bears gifts to the family members whom he hurt and felt betrayed by, as a way to win back their respect. his father was so happy to see his younger son back that he even forgot about their last confrontation, which had also affected juan, besides his sister telling him he should ask for her forgiveness for 'being himself' and toying with his fear by threatening to visit him in spain to try to kill him there. keeping her cunning wrath in mind, he presents her with a beautiful, rare panther in a gilded, heart-shaped cage. the gift not only symbolizes his love for her but also reflects his perception of her. the panther represents her feistiness and beauty, while the gilded cage signifies her entrapment within their father's ambitions. the image of the panther biting her also symbolizes their eternal disconnection, despite his efforts to earn her respect and reconcile with her. he attempts to bridge the gap, but he never quite succeeds.

and this sequence is so special to me because of his maturity, as he stopped drinking and sleeping around in brothels. like he genuinely wants to impress his family since he had enough of being the screw-up who tries not to mess up, etc. i think cesare's betrayal of him at forlì has shaken him to his core and made him return to his old habits, and it doesn't help knowing that he has a disease rotting him while alive. considering how juan was aware that cesare tried to seize him from his position at first, but didn't expect that he'd even attempt to indirectly kill him to get the position that juan has, since he never even took his quarrel with cesare seriously and would never betray him despite everything. when juan tried to make rodrigo believe him about cesare's scheming, yet rodrigo refused to believe juan and implied giving his position to cesare, that's when he grabbed the knife and truly threatened to kill himself and guilt-trip rodrigo into keeping it...

wait i just realized this is getting too long (and a bit off-topic) oops! to answer your question, i don't think lucrezia would ever realize that juan has chosen a wife who bears a striking resemblance to her. for those who don't know or haven't noticed, it wasn't the real maria's portrait used in the show, but rather a picture of someone who resembles holliday grainger's features (curly blond hair, full lips, and chubby cheeks) as some sort of subtext of juan's feelings for lucrezia. i don't think juan even realizes that he has incestuous feelings for lucrezia, unlike cesare who already knows but is repressed about them. lucrezia didn't even suspect juan's drunken, stalkerish behavior, his anger-driven jealousy, and his obsession over her purity, all of which could stem from incestuous feelings lol.

like any privileged, womanizing youth in a patriarchal system, he enjoyed his carnal relationship with sancia, struck by her beauty. she asserts her dominance in the relationship with her fearless personality and seductive charm. it was exciting for her too as marrying into the family didn't stop her from living her life and having an affair. that being said, there was no romance between them, and it was rather obvious that none of the three siblings had managed to find a romantic relationship that would actually work...

it's sad that cesare, lucrezia, and juan are unaware that they're cursed with being incestuously involved with each other, either emotionally or physically. these taboo feelings stem from the dysfunctional and unhealthy dynamics that have driven them to extremes with each other, leaving them feeling trapped in their father's vicious cycle of ambitions. while lucrezia and cesare realize this and act on it, leading to the collapse of everything around them, juan only realizes it when it's too late, through an opium-induced moment of clarity. however, his siblings will always see him as someone who antagonizes them, when in reality it's quite the opposite. there are so many misunderstandings, misconceptions, etc. peak doomed siblings kind of tragedy tbh

[muttlyparasitic]

Jeff headcanons

•Randy bully dude never existed, if anything Jeff was the bully in school and would always bully his little brother too.

•Jeff was born with schizophrenia which is what caused the mental breakdown that fucked up his face.

•Jeff was heavily neglected while Liu was always priased, the neglect led to self hatred and resent for his family, they were embarrassed by his "episodes"

•He always had bad behavior and a horrible temper, the constant audible and visual hallucinations mixed with anxiety and depression just fed more into creating Jeff who he is today.

•Yes Jeff cut a smile into his face but its more like holes sliced into his cheeks rather than slits that start atthe corner of his mouth.

•Jeff is laid back, blunt and generally disinterested in conversation tho if approached he will engage, he is socially awkward and a recluse, feels more himself around animals.

•My version of Jeff is in his 30's, he looks a lot different compared to his 13y/o design, I aged Jeff up to move away from the trop that all creepypastas have to be mentally ill teenage serial killers and also because bro didnt die in his story so technically he still ages.

•yes Jeff did try to burn his EYES, not his eyelids, after mutilating his face it terrified him and he thought he could literally burn the image of himself out of his memory by burning his eyes, his cornea have scaring so his vision isnt the best. Yes he has glasses.

•Jeff only kills people by accident or if they threaten his freedom by trying to call the cops on him or something since he is a wanted murderer. The reason for accidental murders is from hallucinations he sees that might look like his mother or father, he ends up freaking out bc he thought he killed them already and feels the need to do it again to make sure they stay dead. He afterwords feels remorseful for taking an innocent strangers life.

•JANE IS A STEP SISTER. She was adopted shortly before Jeff murdered his parents in their sleep. Jane resents him because in the short Time she did have with the family she instantly became attached to them, even Jeff, and seeing it all ripped from her life in a night caused by someone she was loving, it tore her apart.

[theheirofthesharingan]

I just found your blog recently, I hope you don't mind that I've been crawling through and liking so many posts. I've always loved Sasuke and never minded Itachi, he was a good villain but it may be saying something that his crimes (while not insignificant) are only rated so highly (from my pov) because he did it all in one night. There are plenty of ninja who did far more heinous things for worse reasons (Orochimaru is a far worse person let alone dangerous villain), so while the big reveal of the plot around Itachi's betrayal was somewhat surprising, it was not exactly "shocking" so much as it felt like it recontectualized things.

I don't really think it makes sense for ss fans to even bring up that "S*kura would never put Sasuke through what Itachi did" considering she was never and would never be in a position to act as Itachi did... but very few ship vs ship arguments are made with "good sense" in mind. (I actually liked her genin arc, she changed from her rather damaging pushy behavior to taking ownership of her own emotions but that then backslid during shippuden... making her once again pushing her own agenda without anyone's input)

I just found your blog recently, I hope you don't mind that I've been crawling through and liking so many posts.

I don't mind that at all. Don't worry about it.

I've always loved Sasuke and never minded Itachi, he was a good villain but it may be saying something that his crimes (while not insignificant) are only rated so highly (from my pov) because he did it all in one night.

I believe it's true but it's also a dreadfully one-dimensional way to look at the situation when a myriad of information is later provided to give context to the whole thing. He's introduced as a cold-blooded killer with zero redeeming qualities, which after the reveal turns out to be more nuanced and layered than we earlier thought. While his actions are still unforgivable, there's so much more to it. So, sticking to what he's shown as initially and refusing to acknowledge anything and everything that follows afterwards isn't how you assess a character or a piece of media in general. It's just looking at his actions and motivations on the face value and refusing to take a deeper look like a petulant child.

There are plenty of ninja who did far more heinous things for worse reasons (Orochimaru is a far worse person let alone dangerous villain), so while the big reveal of the plot around Itachi's betrayal was somewhat surprising, it was not exactly "shocking" so much as it felt like it recontectualized things.

I would not be comparing Itachi with the likes of Orochimaru who was evil and never showed an ounce of remorse.

He did this. This is creepy as hell. Itachi would never, ever do this.

Now, Itachi's crimes are horrible but there's more to them than just "he followed the orders and killed his clan" and "he traumatized his little brother." People tend to downplay his trauma because he isn't a perfect victim and his reaction to the life he lived deeply affects Sasuke. He's only seen as a perpetrator, when, in truth, he's a perpetrator because he's a victim first. There are lot of things he had to learn and acknowledge, but he never rationalized his crimes.

Among his many objectives to die at Sasuke's hands one was that he wanted to be punished for his crimes by the person he'd hurt and wronged the most, because of all things, Sasuke didn't deserve to go through any of what he did.

The guilt he lived with would have been colossal because forcefully prolonging the life so he could be punished for his crimes that weren't even entirely his own fault is a big deal. This is why he's so well received among the audience as well. He doesn't feel entitled to being treated right or with respect. He doesn't think he's worthy of forgiveness or deserves justice.

During his fight against Kabuto, his interaction with Sasuke is also quite interesting. He keeps telling Sasuke and Kabuto both he's not worthy of the praises they shower on him. And he actively avoids looking into Sasuke's eyes.

There are moments he looks in Sasuke's direction, but mostly he avoids looking at him. This is just one example. It's the body language of someone who's heavily guilt-ridden, someone who feels disgusted with himself especially the way he asks both Kabuto and Sasuke to not see him as a good guy.

I don't really think it makes sense for ss fans to even bring up that...

Oh, obviously. She was never placed in the circumstances where she had to make hard choices keeping someone else in mind. Not just that, Itachi did what he did because he wanted to keep Sasuke alive, because the life he'd lived showed him death was the worst thing to happen, so he wanted to protect the person he loved the most from this. When it came to her, though, instead of learning his reasoning, she jumped to the conclusion that Sasuke needed to die. She wanted to do this to "save him from the darkness." Funny, because he was the same boy who'd sacrificed himself to save Naruto's life not too long ago. Who'd wanted to save her life at any cost from Gaara. Who had killed Orochimaru and Itachi - the most dangerous criminals. He'd also freed Orochimaru's prisoners. Considering Konoha was following his trail, the news of this would have reached Konoha too. Despite this, her first response to learning Sasuke falling into darkness was that he should be killed.

I actually liked her genin arc..

Same. I liked those bits. And she was brilliant in Pain arc as well when she saved lives of the wounded Shinobi and civilians, and also during the war arc. But she should have moved on from the person who'd done nothing but brutally humiliate her, reject her. It's not even a character flaw, it's just... Idk what it is.

[discendia]

Here we are, the dreaded question. If you would be so kind! I would like to know Rio's thoughts and feelings in regards Takeshi's ...dwindling state of mind. That time when he tried to kill himself, did she know? did Tsuyoshi now? In this light, what does Rio think of Tsunayoshi?

The day has come to talk about Takeshi’s darkest day… Short answers are: yes, no, and not exactly as a friend. I’ll leave the complete answer under the cut due to the enormous length and the following content warning.

CW: suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, toxic dependency.

─────── ꒦꒷♡꒷꒦ ────────

I've called it Takeshi's darkest day, but it is actually the result of several issues he had going on for months, and in my canon, Rio had a role in it.

Let me first give you some context: 

Takeshi and Rio grew up relying mostly on each other. Tsuyoshi was a good father, one who loved his children from the bottom of his heart, but his own process of grieving occasionally prevented him from being as involved as they would need him to be. 

This had its toll on the siblings’ social development. They learned too fast how to please people but never found in others a connection as deep and strong as the one they have.

Takeshi’s desire for more bonds drove him to attract attention in any possible positive way, and he found that making himself useful to others by achieving victories and being the ace of the team resulted in the admiration of the other kids and, even more important, in his father's happiness and pride. Even if he had a natural talent, an athletic ability above the rest, he trained hard for his strategy to succeed.

Soon, he was surrounded by so-called friends; everyone wanted to be with him, to play with him, to know him, but even if he played along with it, it didn’t feel like genuine friendship. And it was okay because he had a true friendship at home, in Rio. 

That was, until the transition from elementary school to middle school. Rio’s own issues resulted in her first major attempt at independence. She was considering choosing a different middle school, where no one would ever mix her with Takeshi, and even when she ended up settling for Namichuu, she made it clear that she didn’t want to be the baseball team's manager like she was before.

It was their first big fight. Hopefully, the last one, too.

They barely talked in those months until the end of June. They were in different classes, and after school, Rio went straight home while Takeshi spent hours training without rest.

Takeshi’s mental state, deprived of his most important relationship, the one who kept him from sinking into depression, deteriorated day by day. Breaking his arm hurt less than the continuous feeling of having half of himself ripped off of him, it ended up cutting his last thread of sanity.

If he had lost his means to connect with people and to make the ones he loved happy, he didn't have anything left.

Did Rio know he tried to kill himself? Yes.

She heard some girls from her class talking about it and the moment she went out to the corridor she saw his brother falling from a window. Her heart and thoughts stopped at once. She could only run, trip on the stairs, and run again ignoring any physical pain until she made it to the courtyard.

Takeshi was laughing. He was alive. He was laughing. An awfully false laugh. He was alive. New air finally made its way into her lungs; she could breathe again. And she was grateful to whatever god that allowed her to keep his brother by her side, but she was also enraged.

She walked up to him, lips pressed, and unable to say a word, she raised her hand. Takeshi’s cheek became bright red. It itched. It reminded him that he was alive and he was not alone. It made him realize his actions hurt the person he cared about the most. 

“How dare you…!?”

“I’m sorry…”

Remorse and shame ate him up, tying a knot in his stomach. He made Rio cry her heart out, something he had never seen before. As well as his broken arm allowed him to, he grabbed her into a tight hug, letting her dry her tears on his chest.

“Never do this again”, she pleaded in a muffled voice.

“I promise I won’t. I was stupid...”

A promise he wouldn’t be able to keep ten years later.

While Takeshi recovered his most important bond, gained a new one for life, and started feeling secure and at peace again, this event also cut the little independence Rio had built.

She realized she wouldn't be able to live on without him, and that she needed to tie up to him so close that she would never lose sight of him to prevent the risk of this happening again. She discarded any attempt to be her own person and settled on being Takeshi’s shadow again, as it meant a familiar safety and comfort; she went back to being the little girl who was always clinging to her brother, who dressed and acted like him to get a smile out of her father, but that's a story for another day.

In the end, they swore not to fight like that again and to never tell Tsuyoshi about what happened.

So, after all this, what is Tsuna for Rio? 

This is something she feels she can't tell anyone, not even Takeshi. It's not that she doesn't appreciate him, but before a friend, Tsuna is someone she is indebted to.

To repay him for saving his brother and becoming a source of sincere happiness for him, Rio is willing to do anything he asks of her, even if it means giving up on her dreams of a simple life and leaving her beloved home to navigate the underworld. At that moment she's certain that she'll be able to become anyone and do anything Tsuna could possibly need of her, whether it be nice words, threats or dirty hands, or to give her life for him if it means that Takeshi will be safe and happy.

Lucky for her, Tsuna doesn’t want any of that from his friends, right?

[clonehub]

The bad batch has some of the shallowest writing I've seen in ages. The wrong character interactions get the attention, while the audience is left with a "tell, don't show" style of narrative storytelling that just leaves people unsatisfied left right and center. Hunter is upset because he feels guilty (a generous read imo) for letting omega get captured while Crosshair was the one to escape with her. Hunter is not mad at Crosshair for his decision to choose the Empire, which led to Tech's death. Hunter is not mad that Crosshair joined the regime that literally mind controlled him into attempting to set them on fire.

Omega afaik never had a solid, positive interaction with Crosshair the way she did with the rest of the bad batch all during seasons one and two. Crosshair tried multiple times to kill her, under influence of the chip. He objectively knew this and still chose the Empire. Omega also objectively knew this and forgives him anyways? And still has faith in him? She was hurt over his decision to stay, but never harbored any fear or resentment. Just pure and total love. And now she's guiding him through dealing with his trauma by meditating on sunset-lit beaches.

Wrecker is still a non-character who doesn't lead and hardly participates in any meaningful way in conversations. I don't recall him having any extensive conversations with any of the other batchers. I remember Tech being snappy with him, and Crosshair saying he has a tiny mind back in season 1. He has cute moments with Omega, but doesn't get developed outside. He doesn't get developed at all, really, besides following the narrow track of the trope set out for him.

The entire emotional arc of the series is dedicated to everyone around Crosshair forgiving him for his choice to join the Empire, but...he's never once thus far actually seemed remorseful. Does he condemn the Empire's violence? Does he look sad or regretful that he got so many of Howzer's men killed on Ryloth? Does he say "I hate what the Empire did to clones, I hate that they used chips on us, I hate that they made me oppress people throughout the galaxy, I hate that the Empire is a violent oppressive regime hurting innocents"? No. He says "The Empire wasn't loyal to me." He doesn't justify what he did, but he definitely doesn't regret it.

(Which is funny because soon afterwards, Rex is able to sow the seeds of doubt into Wolffe's mind that the Empire is bad because they're making him hunt a child.)

And the writers do the laziest thing in the world by having this potentially massive conflict between two characters and using rescue/saving their life as a stand in for a real conversation. Crosshair saves Hunter from the ice worm, they nod, and now they're chill/more chill. They present this as if anything else was a viable option, as if Crosshair would have reasonably or realistically left Hunter to get eaten by the giant ice worm. Then they frame Hunter and Crosshair's mistakes (for the former, I have no idea what) as on par with one another. After their non-argument, Crosshair saves Howzer's life (?), they nod, and that's it. Forgiven.

Halfway through the season and the writing still feels just as unbalanced as it did in season 1. Multiple people keep talking about how they feel like coworkers and roommates with guns rather than brothers. The writers do a better job saying the word loyalty than actually showing it. The majority of the emotional burden is being put on Omega, the only prominent female character in the series and a child. Why is she the emotional support group for a group of grown men? It's just classic misogyny. I'm amazed that type of trope even reared its head again, it's been so long since I've seen it.

Even the writers don't seem to know how to express the batchers' supposed love for one another. No, saving each other's lives is not proof of a deep love or even respect for one another. That's bare minimum. That's SoP. Them leaving each other to die would be the extreme thing, not the other way around. They hardly mention Tech. They had a forced-feeling "hang our heads in silence at the mention of tech's name", and every time after that he's been mentioned as far as his usefulness to the squad. Maybe the second half of the season will have people actually confront Crosshair about Tech. The "Don't have the heavy emotional conversations" thing has been a problem since The Clone Wars, unfortunately. Pretend Teth didn't happen. Pretend Umbara and the Kadavo arc didn't happen. Don't show Rex's reaction to Ahsoka leaving at ALL. Don't show Omega informing Crosshair of Tech's death, which is WILD to me.

Some people claim that the Bad Batch have had six or so months to grieve and mourn, and they're seasoned soldiers who've experienced loss and death before, so they're used to this. The former I can see, but the latter? Who would they have been losing? They're not connected to other clones, rarely worked with them, and never liked them. What losses have they fielded beforehand? They don't even act like 99 or share his values.

I know I'm not alone in this, and at this rate I'm probably beating a dead horse, but it bears repeating: Crosshair hasn't condemned Empire violence, he's only condemned how they treat him in particular. This is a dangerous way to present fascism and why people choose fascist organization/regimes. There's absolutely a personal element to it. Arrogance. Ego. Material or emotional insecurity. But there's an external part as well: desire for control, hierarchy, order, violence. Fascists understand that the ideology is violent. That's why they join the regime. They want and support the subjugation of those they believe deserve it. In real life, this is people of color, women, disabled people, immigrants, the "degenerates" of society, and others. In Star Wars, that's the aliens and the enslaved, the "traitors" and the Rebels. Fascists being "lead astray" or "misguided" by thoughts of loyalty or personal power come secondary to oppressing others.

Maybe they'll address that in the second half of the season. It's a generous read, but I don't want to make any calls til I've seen everything. Unfortunately, every interaction Crosshair has with people has been designed to service their forgiveness of him, all without him actually apologizing for anything. Yes, he must explicitly apologize. He joined a fascist regime after they made him do terrible, heinous things. The text tells us that Crosshair only left because the Empire wasn't loyal to him. Anything other than a clear apology would be bad and frankly dangerous writing.

[saturnsmocha]

READ MY RULES BEFORE LIKING, COMMENTING, AND REBLOGGING!!!

Hey y'all! Remember when I said I had a Lucky Contestant FC of my very own? Well, here they are! They mainly appear wearing the mask, but I wanted to show off their face for this bio so y'all can get a taste of what they look like.

Onto my Contestant...

Leni Sorensen had it all. They were the star athlete/gymnast at their high school, found the perfect man and moved in with him in a nice house after graduating. But then, something crashed and burned in their mental state and now they've turned into a bitter adult who lives in a crappy rundown apartment, has gone through a breakup, dealing with a smoking addiction, and is struggling to find a job. Desperate to get their life back together, upon hearing that if you managed to find a VHS tape in one of the Frankie's Fruit Flake boxes, you'll be granted to participate in a private indoor gameshow with the promise of 5 million dollars, they obsessively remuage through every box for the to be signed up and luckily for them, they finally found it after 769 boxes. They even toke rehab to get rid of their addiction and train really hard so that they can regain their parkour skills in time for the game. Under the impression that it was a simple and harmless yet goofy gameshow like Wipeout, they quickly realize upon being accepted that this "gameshow" is actually a streaming podcast located in the dark web AKA a "red room", where sick fucks pay money to watch people get sliced up by saws, have their skins melted by toxic slime, and be hunted down and killed by monstrous versions of the mascots. With Leni being the only surviving "contestant" able to outwit the monsters with her athletic gift and win the prize, they ended up making the red room more money and is now forced to remain imprisoned at the Parkour Palace until the next season arrives, rather they accept the offer or not.

Extended Bio:

Full name: Magdalena Sorensen Nickname: Leni and Maggie (but if you value your life, don't call them that. Just don't) Age: 24 Gender: Nonbinary (goes by any pronouns) AFAB Nationality: Dutch-American Orientation: Bisexual Family: Mother and father, older sister named Amelia (26) and younger brother James (20) Personality: Leni is as confident and boisterous as they are arrogant. They often act rude, dismissive, and sarcastic. They have an ego the size of Jupiter, they know that they are a gifted athlete and won't let others forget. They believe in "survival of the fittest" and looks down at the more weaker ones, blaming them for their shortcomings and willing to leave them behind if they were in a survival setting.

Leni in general isn't the most pleasant person to be around, which was why they don't really have friends, not that they wanted any to begin with (or do they?). But… They are not without a few redeeming qualities… Right? Yes, their negatives do outway their positives, but Leni's not evil. The whole reason they wanted to enter the gameshow was not just because they want a better living space, but to also have a better living space and makes things right with their ex Brett, so they are capable of feeling remorse. Deep down, Leni does long for companionship, but they don't know how, and because of their crass attitude, no one's willing to tolerate them. Needless to say, they are one tough nut to crack.

Fun facts:

🐇Leni has near vision so she wears glasses, but she does sometimes wears contacts. They wore contacts during the gameshow. They hated wearing the mask and if they have an opportunity to take it off they will. 🐇Leni didn't have the best homelife. Their parents (although they love all three of their kids squally) have jobs that require them to work for long hours, so they're rarely at home and when they are, they are exhausted. But that is not the worst part, they often leave her at home with her older sister who makes it her goal to make Leni's life a living nightmare. James however, is the only one who sees the good in them (and still does) and has looked to them his life, but has unfortunately inherit some their boasting which they nowadays try to discourage. 🐇Before moving out, Leni was the one who does all the chores around the house and prepare food. Amelia is more concerned with being on the phone and James was little at the time, but as he grew up he tried to help their older sibling out. 🐇Outside of a boyfriend, Leni did have a small group of friends at one point, although they all got fed up with their prideful nature. 🐇When they're not training for season 58, Leni would try to come up with plans to escape, lay in bed all day, thinking back on their time with Brett and their friends in guilt or trying (and failing) to avoid conversing with Frankie. 🐇James refers to Leni as his "brother". Amelia and their parents refer to Leni as their "sister" and daughter. Brett referred to them by they/them pronouns. Frankie and Henry also refers to them by they/them pronouns. That was when they came out as nonbinary and say they don't mind being referred to as a "he", "she", or a "they". 🐇Leni sleeps in a fetal position and always hugs onto their pillow or blanket. 🐇Leni has a soft spot for animals, although she has a fear of rats, or atleast used to. It helps that every animal she comes across like her, or atleast don't mind her presence. 🐇During their imprisonment, they noticed an injured rat. Despite their phobia of rats, pity overcomes fear within them (and because they were desperate for a companion to stay sane) and they toke it upon themselves to try and nurse it to health. The rat started to imprint on them and they ended basically adopting it. They haven't thought up a name for it. 🐇Leni does become a amicable person in the future. The gameshow shattered their pride and made them question their motto especially regarding the Noob Noobs and eventually Henry. There are still a few bumps in the road, but they are trying their best to be nicer. Leni isn't fond of children. 🐇They hates anime and sees them as overrated and stupid. 🐇Leni thinks that vegans are pathetic. Leni is a big eater. 🐇Their favorite food are ramen noodles and their favorite drink is strawberry and cream soda. 🐇It's possible that her rudeness and sarcasm is also a defensive mechanism. 🐇They haven't been to college. 🐇They are suffering from nicotine withdrawals.