#who knows what's gonna happen! :-P
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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prepping for my Bonus Days. i love tutorial agent lmao
#chemi chats#yknow. last year's ''take sundays off'' made a lot of sense.#october 2023 was PERFECT for skilltober as it was a full four weeks (so six days for each skill type per week plus a day off)#and left two days at the end - the 30th and 31 - for Ancient Reptilian and Limbic. so it worked out really evenly!!#using the same method in 2024 does not yield the same clean results hjkjg it looks. so fucking messy gang hgkjg#but generally you can take any 5 days off? it would make sense to split it at the first any five days in a row.#like how we had five sundays last year. so like if we had five mondays this month we'd do free days on mondays right?#but this months was tuesdays and we all STARTED on tuesday SO LIKE HGKJG OKAY MAN. NOW WHAT HGKJ#i want to be posting the same skills as everyone else everyday but that's a bit much to ask yknow? syncing up is fun but its HARD man hgkjg#the reason why im talking about this is because im NOT taking the free days hgkjg or maybe i'll take one who knows lmao hgkj#but my ''free'' days are: Tutorial Agent with the INTs. Solace with the PSYs. Volta Do Mar with the FYSs. Kinetic Dressage with the MOTs.#and maybe Vices thrown in there? i might make Vices physique and put Volta with the psyches? and make Solace a little bonus end?#because i love her and shes special hgkj but i guess i'll see hkjf but EITHER WAY im gonna be posting on whenever free days are hgkj#so if everyone takes sundays+halloween off (except me because im Fucking Entrenched In This Shit) then thats when i'll post#(even though it'd be messy as hell like. splitting up the skill types hkjg??) maybe it'd make sense to do mondays+halloween so we can#finish a skill type section before taking a break/doing my bonus skills? and it'd even out but that requires coordination hgkjsk#sigh. or for me to accept that we'll all eventually fall out of sync and thats fine hgkj (<- I can be fine with this. It's just messy hkjg)#oh idk :P im gonna take my ''break''/bonus days on mondays+halloween and whatever happens happens <33#(<- assuming im gonna be able to finish a monthly challenge lmaooo) okay ive got a headache lmao goodnight i love you all as always <33
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"you were born evil" but you still named her agatha.
thinking about that process, because it took 18 years right. you have a baby and you call her good and she turns out to be smarter than you, more powerful than you, and it scares you, you dont know how to handle that especially in a world that hates you and her already. the things about her that scare you, will scare the outside world who understands even less than you do ten times more. you dont know how to protect her so you try to control her which is like number one bad idea human response to things that scare us.
obviously this backfires and she gets even more furious in her quest for knowledge, every door you close she finds a window, every place you warn away from she gets into, talking to people she shouldnt be talking to, trying out magic she shouldnt be trying. every step she takes is one further out of your control, further out of anyone's control, every new thing she learns makes her dangerous, puts her in danger, puts your coven in danger, shes exposing all of you along with herself. shes in danger, shes a danger, shes a teenager and she knows more than you, of course shes not gonna listen to you anymore, about anything. of course shes not gonna hear a warning, and if she did she wouldnt take it, just to spite you.
what are you gonna do? youre not the only one whos scared. of her, for her. youve got an entire coven getting panicky about the way shes exposing all of you, the risks shes taking that she may or may not be able to fully understand (maybe shes never seen one of you burned before, maybe shes her own first). and if she were on her own that would be her decision to make, but you are still responsible for your coven and you are responsible for her, for her safety and for the threat she poses. so what do you do? do you even have a choice? or is this just where the mob turns. kick a scapegoat onto a pyre and hope fortune turns for the rest of us. if she cant stick to the rules in place for the safety of all, then shes a ticking timebomb. if it's not her at the stake, sooner or later it's all of you. so what can you do? what are you expected to do?
punish agatha.
#dont remember who i saw say it but when agatha is recruiting sharon and she pauses for a moment before going yoohoo#making peace with the fact that shes definitely most likely gonna kill this lady along with the witches#*points at her mother here*#anyway i dont know what the fuck like went on this is just one version#but im thinking of her ghost and like 'emotion ties them to this plane' like yeAH NO SHIT fhkjhgkj#the amount of emotion that mustve been going on here#i imagine there must have been a lot of self-convincing before her mother got to this point#i imagine there werent a lot of choices and she was kind of backed into a corner and she just had to find every reason to make this possibl#to be able to do THIS#thats the only way right?#she seems to be the leader. idk if covens have leaders maybe shes just leading here bc it's her daughter thats on trial#or maybe agatha just gets it from her mother#but like if she hadnt gone first then maybe the coven wouldve done this ANYWAY without her right?#and then she'd have lost control of the coven. maybe kicked out. her daughter would be killed either way like#idk if she considered taking agatha and fleeing just the two of them. if she rejected that as too dangerous. safety in numbers#they'd get killed if it was just the two of them#or if she never even considered it. i do get a sort of.....conforming vibe from her. which isnt weird bc standing out or losing community#is p dangerous right in the environment they live here#im more inclined to imagine her trying to teach agatha to just like. shut up. hide. conform. dont stand out. whatever you do DONT push the#boundaries#bc if you end up outside of them youre fucking toast#i can imagine that more as her attempted strategy than running off with agatha#but like obviously that wouldnt work bc agatha wants to push boundaries she wants to push boundaries so bad#i get a feeling she wants to push boundaries like the doctor wants to press buttons#yaz voice: you'd hit a hornets nest just to see what happens
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(ao3)
The worst thing, Bad knows, is the way that nothing changes.
The clouds move slow across the sky, gentle giants on an eternal trek. The waters dance with fish; the brooks burble and sing. Grass grows. Sheep eat. Grass regrows.
On, and on, and on, and on.
Bad breathes in, slow, and holds it.
It’s enough to go mad over. To become enraged for. To rip everything down just so that everything can match the- the keening lack in his heart. Grass grows. Grass has always grown. There is nothing that could ever stop grass from growing.
His hands are curled into the ground at his sides. He clutches handfuls of the wretched plant and pulls, almost gently, and doesn’t snap a single blade.
He exhales, slow, and doesn’t inhale again. What point is there? He’s alone. No one will know whether or not he needs to breathe. He’s been alone before- days that Dapper doesn’t wake up, days where the other eggs are with their other parents. Days where he falls asleep in his chair and the ghosts are left to amuse themselves. He’s been alone before.
He’s lost before.
There is a sob in his throat. He refuses to let it out. It chokes him, and he takes another deep breath to try to settle it.
There’s always- he misses Skeppy. Of course he misses Skeppy. He can’t lose Skeppy, but Skeppy isn’t here.
Dapper isn’t here. Pomme isn’t here. Richarlyson. Leo. Ramon. Chayanne. Tallulah. They’re-
Bad tears the grass out of the ground. He stares at his hands, dark claws curled around torn green plant. He tries to imagine the grass is white fur instead, but he can’t find the enthusiasm. That’s okay. The anger will be back later.
He just- he can’t feel much beyond the loss, right now. The lack. The empty, quiet island where sheep eat grass and clouds keep moving and no eggs place any signs at all. That’s not okay, but he knows that, at least, will change. That’s how grief works. The world ends, and you end with it, and while you claw yourself up from the rubble the world ends again and sends you back under, and then again, and then again, but by the third go around you know what the tremors look like. You start to predict where it hurts the most. Then the world keeps ending but the ending just becomes a part of your world, and sometimes everything shakes but you shake with it and it’s not okay but it’s better. You get so used to the shaking that sometimes you forget that your world ever ended at all.
How long will it take for him to forget them?
Bad leans forwards, slowly, until he slumps into a miserable little puddle of limbs. He presses his cheek into the cool grass and when the sob rises up again he bites it back with teeth. The sun is blocked by a sombrero, now fallen awkwardly over his face, that Foolish had cheerfully placed on his head hours before. Bad doesn’t know why Foolish had put it there- except he does, and he’d seen it in the in the slightest tremor of Foolish’s smile, and so he’d kept it on.
He can’t see them, but he can hear them laughing. Mouse, Jaiden, and Foolish, just around the corner. There have been so many people ‘just around the corner’ today. They’re so loud. They’re not the right type of loud. He feels guilty for the way that they’re comforting him, that he’s taking up their time, and then he feels angry that he feels guilty because he remembers the cage, and he knows what he really means to them, and-
They’re still here. The eggs are gone, and they’re still here.
Forever isn’t here.
Forever hasn’t given him a gift basket yet.
…
…It doesn’t work. It’s a close thing, though- there’s a flicker of irritation at the thought of Forever’s awful, handsome face. Not anger, not nearly enough emotion to fill the void that is Bad’s heart, but maybe it could be. He’ll try again tomorrow. Isn’t that fun? Isn’t that something? There’s so much emotion he can’t feel any of it at all.
Maybe it’s a bad dream. There were no remains. There was just Dapper’s top hat, and Pomme’s beret. No shell, no dead eggs. No eggs. It’s driving him mad, the maybe-yes maybe-no nature of his children’s fate.
He thinks, maybe, that tomorrow he will build a drill.
Today, the world is dark beneath the sombrero, and the grass is scratchy and full of small twigs. Foolish laughs once, too loud. Automatically, Bad pushes himself up, because he knows Foolish, and knows how long he’s been away from the group, and he feels sick. He fumbles for his warpstone and- Foolish’s head pops around the corner- Bad freezes. Too late.
Foolish looks at him, grin bright and neverending. Bad looks back. He can’t bring himself to say anything- he drops the sombrero at their feet.
Foolish’s smile fades. Bad activates his warpstone again and, though the particles, he sees Foolish give him a sharp, left-handed salute. Bad can’t bite back his little laugh; Foolish knows him, too.
And then Foolish is gone. The world is purple. Then the world ends, once again, in Bad’s home. All of Dapper’s machines have stopped. Echoing noise to almost-echoing silence. Ah. Right. None of the island’s machines are working correctly. Bad will have to make a smaller drill. But he will build his drill, and he will dig, and he will find his son.
“Dapper?” he calls, his voice cracking. The sound echoes. Only the animals answer back- they’re the only thing that stops the base from being completely silent. Grass grows. Sheep eat. Grass regrows. There’s so many animals here. What good company. It occurs to Bad, suddenly, that they’re good company. Dapper is gone, and his animals are still here, and Bad-
He won’t kill Dapper’s pets. He is suddenly holding his scythe and he won’t hurt his son’s pets because he can’t trade them for his son and there’s a special sort of heartache to the fact that his son left behind instructions to machines that don’t work and so many animals that can’t keep Bad company the way Dapper kept him company and Bad-
He’s holding his scythe. He’s holding the Sunshine Protector. He tries to take a breath but it comes out stuttery and he bites his tongue and. Dapper was-is always so sweet. He made Bonnie to keep Bad company, and Bad is always haunted by little ghosts but now most of all he is haunted by the love of his son.
“Where are you?” His voice cracks on the third word. He stumbles to Dapper’s room and doesn’t think about the fact that they never got to build one for Pomme.
The hole in his heart could swallow an island.
Please don’t take-
The scythe gets left outside. Bad can’t bear to look at it. Protector. There is a secure door in front of him that keeps nothing secure because now there is nothing to protect and Bad-
-my sunshine away.
He falls to his knees next to the empty bed. He chokes out, “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, Dapper.”
When the sob rises again, he lets it.
#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo#first qsmp fic YIPPEEE#and its about#child death#and#angst#YIPPEEE#or child-missing lmao#i dont think the eggs are dead but i do think this is an uh oh#fun fact i started this a few weeks ago and then picked it up again after the uh. you know#VERY pleased with myself with my bbh read and predicting he'd be p quiet i love it when i can understand these weirdass cubes#the contradictions throughout weren't intentional until i realized they were happening and i leaned into it#i bet bad chose 'you are my sunshine' as a song for dapper SPECIFICALLY because then he could sing and cry about the second verse#after he lost his very fragile egg#which. i hope he never has to do that again that broke my fucking heart#he's just... qbad is an immortal who has grieved before but then he found skeppy and didnt have to keep grieving and now skeppy is gone and#his kids are gone and all he has left are his friends who he feels very betrayed by but who are all so. fucking kind about the loss#and they all lost their children but just like jaiden said he's like a third parent to all the eggs#he lost his kids and his bonus kids and he once sunk a city but what is the grief of thousands of strangers compared to the grief of#seven little eggs he loved so dearly#one little egg he would protect over skeppy#just....... idk its v late im gonna schedule this post i dont know if im making sense but the EGGS#the BADBOYHALO#the grief :c#shape words
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jealousy fucking sucks becuase like... theres nothing to do about it?? like every jealousy help guide is either just like 'acknowlege why ur jealous and take a deep breath uwu' which like YEAH I KNOW WHY IM JEALOUS?? THAT CHANGES??? NOTHING ABOUT MY SITUATION?? or or OR they're shit about how to deal with people who are jealous of YOU that just make you feel like an asshole for being jealous because they're like 'anyone whose jealous of you is a stupid talentless miserable ugly idiot who you should laugh at because they're pathetic' like??? it sucks SO bad???
#vent tw#it's one of those annoying very very normal emotions thats so bizarrely villianized for just... happening#like im not gonna be an ASSHOLE to the person im jealous of thatd be shitty obviously#but i also HATE THEM#they're the worst person perhaps alive#and they're getting so many fucking oppurtunities in MY CHOSEN FIELD and i dont know what the fuck im doign wrong??#ughghghghhh like it would be fine if they weren't an objectively bad person#like whatever im always kinda jealous when someone gets opputunities i want like thats normal/im usually p good at just being happy 4 them#but also when its the shithead who is an asshole and gave me an ed in high school and doesn't even COMPREHEND IT it fills me w/ fuckign rag
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youtube
so the. the brpther and sister. wake up as husband and wife. and their parents wake up. as siblings. and the baby is trapped in the dog? blink 182. guys idk about this one.
#hard to tell from the trailer but can't wait to see what ethnicity they pin the freaky friday magic on this time#at least there are no fortune cookies or gong sound effects#but now that i've said that watch that old lady be romani and everyone throw around the G word or something equally insane#edit: apparently that is rita moreno! so who knows what is gonna happen#Youtube#p
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2024 reads / storygraph
Masquerade
historical fiction set in 15th century West Africa
follows a young woman from Timbuktu, recently conquered by the the warrior king of Yorùbáland
her guild of blacksmiths were already shunned as witches, and their conditions worsen under Yorùbá rule - so when she’s kidnapped by the king to be his wife, she decides to accept that it’ll be a better life for her, as long as she can get her mother’s blessing
but as months go by without her mother being found, and political tensions rise, she must decide what she wants
#masquerade#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#ahh... I enjoyed this in the beginning but I ended up being SO frustrated by the MCs decisions and inconsistencies.#click the storygraph link above to read all my thoughts tbh im not gonna copy everything in here#she’s like man this guy kidnapped me and is drugging me and treats me like an object and probably is lying about trying to find my mother :#well I should definitely try and uncover and tell him about this uprising happening under his nose so I can help him trust me!#she tells us she’s desperate for freedom and safety and autonomy and yet she’s doing so much to stay with this man who#she’s AWARE is NOT giving her autonomy AND she doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else’s freedom or autonomy?#she doesn’t even WONDER about the slave revolts or blacksmith strikes other than how can she stop them?#she’s naive and innocent but she’s also viewed as this brilliant military strategist and cunning at court politics#other than these moments she’s very naive and doesn’t make any obvious connections about what the other women#or her mother are up to (which considering the amount of speeches about men underestimating women she makes……okay)#thing is like there was some great setup to go in some really interesting directions!#if you wanted to go down the route of her goals making her singlemindedly ruthless and selfish and morally grey and rising to power#then commit to that! make her investigate the revolution and give her a reason to betray them anyway.#if you want to make it like she TRULY had no choice in becoming what she did (because any attempt to escape or connect#with the revolution had tragic consequences) then do that! But she like…..never tried anything.#She just accepted everything and tried to help the king because…I don’t even know!#if you like hades and perspephone you won’t like this. if you don’t like hades and persephone you won’t like this.#(i thought it had just been inaccurately compared to H&P - not written to reference H&P)#agh. it could have been good!
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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Welcome back to the Chill Valicer Save, where we have reached Summer Sunday! And while today was, unfortunately, one of those days where it was rather hard to get my Sims to do what I wanted them to do (and the save file once again started showing its age), I did in fact get their new snack stand off the ground, among other things –
-->Started with Victor snoozing away in bed, Alice sitting at her computer, and Smiler working on a mechanism in the middle of the night, as they do. I was going to have Alice resume the mystery book she was working on previously (“Who Stole The Tarts?”), but then noticed a specter bopping around in the hallway just outside her and Victor’s bedroom door and decided to see if she could appease it. She thus went out and offered it some aubergine (aka eggplant) conserve – which was accepted, happily! :D The specter left her some wraith wax, and I prepared to have her go get a little bit more sleep (after soothing Shock nearby, who hadn’t liked the appearance of the specter) while Smiler came up to their room to do some upgrades on their streaming drone (namely make it hardier with better parts) –
Aaaand immediately the house started making spooky noises. Waking Victor and Alice up and distracting Smiler from their upgrades. I thus was like “okay, maybe it’s time to do a ceremony and see if we can calm things down a bit around here” and tried to set up one with Victor –
-->Only for him to lose the plot when Temperance basically spawned INSIDE him next to the bed. *sigh* I canceled out the interaction for Smiler and Alice, then reset it up with all of them once I’d taken out Victor’s personal bizarre idol and put it on the side table under the window to scare her away. Yet again. *huffs* Temperance, you’re getting to be ALMOST as annoying as Guidry here. Almost.
-->Anyway – as Temperance proceeded to have a bad time with the bizarre idol, I had Victor lead Smiler and Alice in a group ceremony to increase the spiritual serenity of the house. Everything went very well (and looked very cool with all their crystals and magical stuff in the background), and by the end, not only was the serenity of the house increased, Victor had leveled his Medium skill to level 4, and Smiler theirs to level 2! :D I was very happy with that result and promptly sent Victor and Alice back to bed, and Smiler back to their room to upgrade their drone –
Only for a specter to appear in Smiler’s bedroom RIGHT NEXT to the drone, distracting them with sprinkles. And for Surprise to start yowling outside Victor and Alice’s bedroom to wake Victor up. And then the house to make MORE creepy noises, waking Alice up too. *facepalm* So the ceremony kinda did jack shit. I had Smiler grab their drone and fly down to the crafting barn to do the upgrades AWAY from any further supernatural distraction, while Victor lectured Surprise and FINALLY got the cat to understand she shouldn’t wake up Sims before using the toilet and FINALLY going and getting a bit more sleep with Alice. *sigh* This house sometimes, I swear...
-->Anyway – I sped up time for a little bit, letting Smiler do their upgrades and Alice and Victor sleep...then noticed Shock clawing one of the living room chairs and had Alice (now full energy, at least) wake up and run downstairs to tell her not to do that. The cat wasn’t sure why she was being lectured, but at least she stopped! Seeing that Alice was burning with Fury and also hungry, I then had her transform into her werewolf form and go out for a hunt –
And briefly encountered a weird bug where my game didn’t have sound for maybe half a minute. O.o I’m not sure what caused it, unfortunately – it happened a couple more times while on the home lot this morning, but then stopped once I got the gang out and about in Brindleton Bay. Could just be random Sims weirdness, could be a sign that this save file is on its way out. Not sure which, but something to look out for in future, I guess.
#sims 4#the lazy save#victor van dort#alice liddell#smiler always#the only reason Temperance isn't as annoying as Guidry is that you can banish her almost immediately with a bizarre idol#she'll stay long enough to laugh maniacally but then#she cowers for a bit and then off she goes#also I thought a ceremony was supposed to calm the damn house down a bit?#not encourage more specters and more creepy noises to distract my Sims?#then again I think I have heard that the 'failure' and 'success' animations might be switched#so maybe the ceremony actually failed it just didn't LOOK like it did#they tried!#and I'm not saying no to Victor getting more Medium skill#he's probably not gonna do the career like I originally intended but#it feels appropriate given his source material and whatnot :P#but yes busy haunted morning around the house#and no no idea what happened with the sound#might have been the game might have been my speakers#who knows at this point#it hasn't happened again for a while so#keep thine fingers crossed!#queued
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rereading a book i loved in high school to annotate a copy. remembering why it connected w me so much
#its the miseducation of cameron post btw#i read it literally 3 times in the space of 2mos almost back to back#i brought it on two trips- that was the year we went to austria and the year i went to national music camp#and like. yeah. yeah i guess that was why#smth abt that book just really cuts to the heart of what it was like for me growing up in the church#my church wasnt the wbc or anything ofc but like. they also werent/arent queer affirming and its hard to explain how it hurt me#bc everyone expects a story where someone sits me down and like. threatens to beat me if im gay or whatever#that didnt happen. its just that i figured out by osmosis from this environment that i was wrong and that i should be ashamed#and nobody ever challenged that assertion so it stuck for years afterwards#its like growing up in a house w mold in it youll never really know that its there until youre told but you know smth is hurting you#and by the time you realize what it is its gonna take fucking forever to remove#and thats how it is w cameron! she knows long before shes sent to the camp#i just keep coming back to how everyone who went to nationals w me came back talking abt this amazing spiritual experience they had#and how much it meant to them to be able to go#and all i was thinking was that i didnt make even 1 friend and everyone treated me like i was fucking diseased the entire time#the guys didnt want me around bc i was a girl and the girls didnt want me around bc i wasnt a girl to them#my roommate acted scared of me from day fucking one and i still dont really know why. wouldnt stay in the room w me#i would sit down somewhere in the common area and people physically turned away from me to have their own conversations#i think they knew. i wasnt out at camp ofc but im p sure they knew smth was up w me#levi.txt#idk. i dont have a Trauma to point to but i feel like calling the effects of what the church did to me religious trauma is appropriate#it fucked me up so so bad. i had to work through so much shit and im still not out of it#today im not ashamed of being queer but im still discovering new issues that living like that gave me all the time#ultimately. im ok rn dw just thinking a lot. its a great book im glad to reread it and really analyze it! its fun
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not to be a pain-crazed wild animal. i KNOW i do this every time. but p*riods are so fucking crazy. like my cr*mps are so bad my body is trying to strangle itself but im awake and i need to be at work in 2 hrs and get thru an entire 9 hr workday as if im not in excruciating pain and im gonna bring my heating pad and my p*in r*lief cr*am if you catch my drift (💀) and i’ll need to use them DURING a busy day in which i will not see any other ppl who get periods in person and using them is gonna be a whole awkward thing. like omg. this is not fucking normal lol
#purrs#it is normal obviously. but it’s SO fucking frustrating like omfg the amount of time i lose every single month to being in pain like this#FOR NO REASON and like half the global population has to deal w that and it’s like it’s nothing. idk. despair and suffering and misery#delete later#menstruation tw#the thing that really gets me abt it is how my mom (ik i said i would stop complaining abt her on here but we have been fighting all month#LOL so im giving myself permission) gets so fucking pissed at me and my sister when we’re in too much pain to do chores bc she thinks we’re#being lazy / making excuses and then she compares us to o it brother like.. omg um YOU should know how painful this can be first of all and#second of all why would you even make that comparison when he doesn’t lose a third of his life to his body trying to tear itself apart! lol!#and yes i could work from home or calll out sick but consider: i am mentally illabout not being at work. which * is gonna be on my ass abt w#when they hear me say that bc i know im gonna make a whole awkward big deal abt my heating pad. UGHHHHH embarrassing lmaooooo#like why do people have REGULAR B*DILY F*NCTIONS!!!!! REGULAR!!!!!!! that REGULARLY put them in this amount of pain and we have to just deal#with that like it’s nothing and be discreet about and whatever. ew i sound like um… someone who cares too much abt stuff like this lol but I#im so mad abt it rn like oh my GOD can the pain just not be part of it can we just evolve to get rid of that or put structures in place in a#society for ppl to be more accepting / supporting / whatever of it. please please please please please#(also goes for more than just p*riods btw. like imagine if as a society we had things in place for ppl who are regularly in#chronic pain of any kind 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 what a world that would be 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 wow i sure hope it happens in my lifetime 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍)
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it’s the 20th of december, so…
#and that concludes yet another year of dolce-less content… _(:3 」∠)_#(honeypre 4☆s don’t count bc they’re obviously just fillers there)#man… hw really do be wasting dolce as idol characters huh…#i wanna know what happens to dolce after fuuma goes blind… there’s so much potential for angst and hurt/comfort there h e l l o —#but really. fuuma really truly has the whole idol series trauma package bundled up in him#he got into an accident with his beloved sister (and lost both her and his normal (for the lack of a better word) sense of sight)#and then he took up crossdressing and became an idol bc he looks just like said sister and wanted to help her achieve her idol dreams#and then he actually got truly attached to his idol lifestyle and… bam he’s gonna lose his eyesight :(#(and that’s not even mentioning the hate and stuff he gets bc of his crossdressing…)#c h e e s u s c r u s t who hurt you hw. why do you hurt fuuma so?????#poor fuuma… hw’s traumadump… :( now im sad h e l p
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Sooooo over the course of the day, with about 2ish total hours of work, I completed a whole ass lil animatic of one of my characters (one of my less talked about blorbos, Cham). Boy had a big night last night in game, had to draw about it lol Just goes to show you how much shit can get done when you hyperfixate
#Eli Speaks#prob gonna wait til tomorrow to post it tho#gotta write up prob a p long ID for it#it’s nothing insane tbh#it’s a bust shot with a solid background#the only thing changing is his face#also I actually may have never talked about Cham here#mostly cause the party didn’t know his name was Cham til last night lol#had a fun lore drop that I’ve been waiting for for a while#(spoiler alert: secret changeling babeyyy)#this whole time the party has thought he was a wimpy drow soldier who just so happened to know magic#nope!#he’s actually an equally wimpy/pathetic changeling abj. wizard who works for the mob 🥰#he doesn’t really like that last part#but ya do what ya gotta to survive#anyway#can’t wait to show y’all my pathetic boy 💙
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Damn! I guess the heatwave- where my family members, who can usually deal with the heat without an air conditioner or fan, who were forced to stay inside and buy one because just going outside gave them a severe headache- it was just them playing pretend! I’ll go tell them they were over reacting and that the death toll they keep quoting at me was just a lie 🥰😍🤪
it's been nice knowing you all
edit: white people shut the fuck up
#you’re so right white American man who’s probably never been to India! why should I listen to actual brown people when the American whites#are right there! what would I know about the usual climate of my country lmao!? I’m just an uncivilized third worlder who’s overreacting#about the things happening in my own country! and I guess my family is too lmfaoo 😔#/s I’m gonna kill someone#p: not hetalia#delete later
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Ya'll should check out Liminal Friends sometime, it's an incredibly cute webcomic about this lil dude randomly appearing in Liminal Space, makes a friend with a liminal friend shaped being, and then explore Liminal Spaces, being cute as hell.
There's really no way to stay in a bad mood hanging with these characters. Sincerely adore them both and the places they go. It somehow manages to scratch my emotions and bring peace to it soon after. I'd probably die if there was a 2 parter involving an argument, it's so care-free mellow but isn't mindless.
Alot of webcomics still do lolxdrandum stuff but here's a location and characters who easily could've fallen into the same "weekly writing" pitfalls and yet it seems adamant to be more challenging than that, intentional or natural, it's nice to see any challenge end in resolution through communication, which doesn't sound exciting, but I'm definitely all in on this sorta thing.
A Genuinely Fantastic creation I strongly reccomend leaving a tab open for and checking every week.
#Liminal Friends#It feels like it's got a whole universe waiting to be unleashed tbh#like these 2 characters are as creatively/artistically powerful as your Ren n Stimpys and papyrus n sans and p-body and A Body#You get what I mean right? Like you see Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy together and go#“Oh definitely main characters with strong cultural impacts”#I'll be upset if in 10 years there aren't stickers and a planned TV show that gets canceled and later a movie that does surprisingly good#Seriously they got that...unfortunately the only word to come to mind. “marketability”. By that I mean Kane and Undertaker sorta power#like ya see em and Know who they are immedietely and feel like everyone also knows#This is a good thing to be clear if I sucked at writing that#That kind've dynamic to character creations is such a wonderful feeling. That “You are now apart of my family” feeling#go read it seriously#it's not revolutionary or whatever it's solid as hell and just the most relaxing time#THEY'RE SO DAMN CUTE TOO#I'm waiting for the switcheroo where it suddenly goes horror but I don't think that's gonna happen#I dunno what I'd like more tbh. That or this. On one hand it'd be a hell of a swerve and on the other it'd be a hell of a swerve#I'm just here for the food#and it's gourmet everytime
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i said i would go to a social engagement but. i’m tireeeeeed
#personal posting#i should go out to this persons birthday but i have no energy what do#<- i can’t believe i get to use this tag TWICE#funny story last time i used this tag i waited in their lobby for AN HOUR before leaving to go back home and read more fanfiction#and i know that’s not gonna happen this time and it will be nice to see this friend but also idk that many people who are going so i’m a lil#nervy and not feeling super social#plus it requires getting dressed up and that is fun but i have. Not Prepared#it will go until late so even tho i’m technically an hour and a half late already i don’t feel Too bad about it but im also sooo unsure if#it’s gonna be worth it for me to make it out there? sigh idk i’m obviously conflicted#i should ask my friend if she’s there i’m p sure i saw her rsvp
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