#who knows anything could happen. i almost felt a stirring of inspiration the other day
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girls when Rogue Heroes s2 is out and they CAN'T WATCH IT YET
#just because if anyone is wondering why I'm still radio silence despite s2 being out#it's BECAUSE I HAVE NO INTERNET#i managed to get through a single episode yesterday in 3 hours#so seeing the entire season is gonna. take a minute#i have blocked all tags for the moment because i wanna go in blind#but yeah i am not dead. maybe one day i will get out of this depressive episode and finish my fic even#who knows anything could happen. i almost felt a stirring of inspiration the other day#and i miss augustin.......#shut up oscar nobody cares
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Love and pinball
Pairing: Eddie x Plus!size fem reader
A/N: Oh man it's been a long while. I've been taking a long needed break. But now I'm back and I have a bunch of ideas that need to be written. So I'm looking forward to what's next. I would also like to add that I had help from @salenorona23 to write this fic. I would liked to thank you. You honestly come up with the best ideas.
Thanks for sticking around. I appreciate all of you. I hope you enjoy the conclusion of Love and Pinball.
The song I added was an inspiration to me. Kay love ya. Byyyye.
Word count: 3,199
I do not give permission for my work to be published anywhere else. Please respect all creators. All the pictures I used for my collage were taken from a Google search. A credit to the original posters
Warnings: 18+ no minors please. Sexual implications, loss, grief, heartache and angst. Not proof read.
Part 8: Together
Summary: Grief will rip us apart. But love, real love can help us back to each other.
You stirred a little and placed a hand on your stomach. There was something wrong. You felt empty.
You weakly called out for Eddie. " B-baby?"
Your eyes opened slowly and the sun was blinding. You looked around and saw Paul and your mom. Then you saw Eddie who was sitting next to the bed, holding your hand. He had never looked so bad.
It was quiet. The silence and the single heart beat on the monitor was ominous. You remembered a little of what happened when you got to the hospital. But you were in and out of it.
"Is-ugh-is the baby okay?" You asked, trying to sit up.
Eddie and Paul stood quiet as your mom came to your side and started stroking your hair.
" Honey…I'm so sorry."
-
You cried for four days straight, with your mom never leaving your side. Even though you knew Eddie had to be with Liam. It hurt so much more to go through the loss of the baby without him.
Those four days were the worst in Eddie's life. When he was away he wished he was with you. And when he was with you all he did was hold you as you sobbed.
He felt like he was the reason you guys were suffering.
On the fifth day, you were going to be discharged from the hospital. Eddie had left work early to be the one to take you home. However, when he got there you were already gone.
Confused and worried he went home. Only to find suitcases by the door.
" Sweetheart?" He called out.
He found you in the nursery clutching the baby blanket from the hospital.
" Sweetheart?"
When you looked at him, he had never seen so much pain in someone's eyes.
You were dreading this moment ever since you decided to run. The only thing that kept you from taking off without a single care was the respect you had for Eddie. He deserved more than him coming home to see you were gone. He needed to know that you would be okay.
You looked back at the empty crib and felt such heartache. To the means of something you could not put into words.
" My mom went to say goodbye to Paul and Natalie. She's going to be back soon."
Eddie remained quiet and watched you. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
" I-I'm gonna go back with her."
His heart sank.
" I need some time…"
You didn't need to finish for him to understand what you needed. And though it tore him apart, he wanted you to be okay.
He took a few steps towards you. "Y/n, I think it's a good idea. You should be with your mom for a few days."
You tensed under his hand that was suddenly on your back. He almost lost it. He almost broke down. But he couldn't. So he didn't.
What he did instead was help put your bags in the trunk and helped you with your seatbelt.
Not once did you look at him. You barely said anything at all.
" Sweetheart, I'll be here when you get back."
Your head was hung while you nodded.
Eddie's heart shattered all over again watching the car fade into the distance.
Maybe this was for the best. Maybe it wasn't what was best for him. But it was what you needed. Right now all you needed was family.
…
3 weeks later
You always did hate how hot New Mexico was. You hated the bugs and the disgusting dry heat. But all of those things didn't bother you anymore. Those inconveniences were nothing compared to the suffering you felt.
It had been three long weeks since the loss of your baby girl and you couldn't find it in you to get out of bed. Or to really talk things out with Eddie.
Sure he called countless times, asking when you were gonna come home. But the answer was always the same. You didn't know.
That wasn't true though. You were never going back. How could you? How could you go on and pretend that baby Claire never existed? How could you face the man you loved knowing it was your fault she didn't make it? That the family you wanted was gone.
Chrissy gave him something you couldn't. A baby. And you hated her for that. You hated that she had a healthy beautiful baby boy, while you were left with this empty feeling.
That wasn't the person you wanted to be. And it was definitely not something you wanted Eddie to see.
It took everything you had to breathe. To wake up and not blame yourself.
But the agony you felt wouldn't go away no matter how hard you tried. And no matter how many tears flowed, there was always more.
It especially hurt when Eddie would call and you could hear Liam crying. It was excruciating to hear cries that weren't hers.
Deep down you wanted to be with Eddie. And you really did love Liam. But you just couldn't do it. It was too hard.
On the fourth week you were woken up by a tiny human.
" Tee? Wake up Tee."
You opened your eyes and found big blue ones looking back at you.
"Morning Tee."
You smiled as she climbed into bed and gave you a big hug.
" Hi baby. Oh I've missed you."
Natalie giggled when you gave her a bunch of kisses.
" Hey champ."
You looked up from Natalie and saw Paul standing by the door.
Your eyes started to swell and your chin trembled." H-hi."
After hello hugs you went to the kitchen and sat there watching Natalie eat.
" What're you guys doing here?"
Your mom poured you and Paul coffee and put a hand on your shoulder.
" Honey, your brother is leaving Natalie here for a while."
You looked over at Paul and he nodded. " I uhhh Natalie needs you…and I think you need her too."
You frowned and tears filled your eyes again. Then you nodded and sniffled. " I do."
You wiped away your tears and lightly laughed. " I'm sorry."
" Tee don't be sad."
You smiled softly at her. "I'm just really happy to see you."
She giggled and got down from her chair and raised her arms up for you to pick her up. Once on your lap she started humming.
" Tee, can we make cookies?"
You kissed the top of her little head. " Of course baby."
You looked up at Paul and your mom and saw them giving you small smiles.
For the first time in a month, you felt ok…Better.
-
Eddie was going through it. Sure he still had Liam, but he lost a daughter too. And he started resenting you for leaving him. Especially since you were only supposed to be gone for a little bit.
It was now a month and a half later and you still haven't said when you were coming back.
That was until you called him.
" Hey sweetheart."
" Hi."
He sat down on the bed. " How are you?"
You sighed. " Better."
His brows pinched together. " Yeah? That's good. I uhh miss you.”
“Eddie I- ummm I left a few things and I was hoping you could send them to me?”
He was quiet for a second. Didn't you miss him too?
“ Uhh yeah. Yeah. Sure baby. What do you need?”
He wrote down the list of things and was confused. Photo albums, jewelry and your diploma. Things that were important and likely irreplaceable.
“Umm sweetheart? Do…do you really want me to send this stuff?”
You cleared your throat before answering. “ Yeah.”
He nodded and fought back his tears. Why did it feel like you weren't coming back?
" Y/n? You're coming home…right?"
He heard you sniffle and knew your answer.
" Baby, please. I-I-"
"I have to go. I'm sorry."
-
When you hung up, it was like you felt everything you felt a month ago. But ten fold. It was horrible.
You originally hoped calling him would change your mind about not going back. Instead, all it did was solidify that you could never go back and face him.
You laid in bed that night thinking of all the things that you should've said to him. You should have said you were sorry for falling that day. For losing Claire. For running away. But most of all you wanted to say you loved him very much.
All the pain you felt started making you cry. After a minute or so you felt a little bit of movement behind you. Then you felt a tiny hand stroking your hair.
You turned around and saw Natalie staring at you.
" Don't cry Tee."
You whimpered a little as you wiped your eyes.
She grabbed your hand." Everything's gonna be alright."
" I know, baby. I know."
" Then-then why are you crying?"
You sniffled. " Everyone cries baby."
Natalie frowned. " I don't like it when you cry Tee. It scares me."
Your brows pinched together and you reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. " Why honey?"
" Because when big people cry, that means something bad happened. And I don't want bad things to happen."
You sucked in a breath and nodded. " I'm sorry. I-I won't cry anymore."
She held out her pinky. " Promise."
You let out a small laugh and hooked your pinky with hers. " I promise baby."
She leaned in and gave you a hug and a kiss before getting under the covers. Then she started humming a familiar tune until she fell asleep.
You squeezed her gently and thought of the day you guys went shopping with Eddie replayed in your head.
It was at that moment you knew what you had to do.
It was time to work on getting better. For your family. And for Eddie.
-
Eddie cried after he hung up the phone. He never felt so alone before. Or so sad. What did he need to do to get you home?
He wanted to go to you, but with Liam and work he really couldn't. On top of that he was heartbroken.
But what made things worse was that Chrissy decided to give him full custody of Liam. All she said when she dropped him off was that Jason proposed to her. So she handed him Liam and paperwork that she had a lawyer draw up.
That was a week ago.
Thank God for his friends. He didn't know what he would do without Gareth or Robin. They were his saving grace. But the only person he really wanted was you. Looks like he wasn't going to get that happy ending he always wanted.
-
Two weeks later
It was a stormy Saturday afternoon. Eddie had just put Liam down for a nap. He had been so fussy today. He had this little cough that scared him. So after a doctor's visit he gave him some medicine and put him to bed.
Eddie went outside to sit on the porch and look at the paper. He was searching for an affordable place that he and Liam could move into. He felt that it wasn't right to stay in your place without you.
However, the only place he could afford was in Forest Hills and he wanted better for Liam. But there was no other choice.
He closed his eyes and sighed. “ Wish you would come home.”
He then heard a car door close. When he looked up he saw you standing there. Umbrella in one hand and a suitcase in the other.
When the cab drove off you started towards him.
He was in shock. With no clue what to actually say or do, he just sat there.
You reached the steps and stared at him. All you could think about was how much you've missed him.
“I…I know there's nothing I can say to take back what happened and how I reacted to it. Just know that I am so sorry for leaving you.” You moistened your lips and continued. “ I should've known that losing our girl was going to hurt you too. I was selfish and a jerk… and I get it if you can't forgive me. I just came back to apologize and to say if you need me, I'll be here... And I need you to know that I'm not 100% right now. And...and I don't think I ever will be. But I'm willing to try and be. For you and Liam...For me too.
He stood up and dropped the newspaper. Just then the slight drizzle turned into a downpour. He went down the steps and pulled you into a hug. Your body trembled in his arms as tears filled his eyes.
“ I missed you so much baby.” he leaned back and kissed you.
After a few seconds you guys heard Liam cough.
He looked down at you and put his forehead on yours. “ I know what you're gonna say. But I don't care. I like how much of a cliche we are together…That's how I know it's real.”
You nodded. “ I guess you're right…Curls?”
“ Yeah sweetheart?”
“ I'm not leaving again. Not ever. Well not willfully.”
He chuckled and went to kiss you again but you put a hand on his chest.
“ Common bud, I wanna see Liam.”
He nodded and grabbed your luggage. Following you inside.
-
You never ran. Not when Chrissy came back crying that Jason left her and then tried to take Liam. Not when he was let go from the plant. Even when things got overwhelming when Hannah and Layla were born. When postpartum hit you like a truck. You didn't leave.
Even when things got better and the band got a record deal and he spent more time on the road than at home. You stayed and supported him. You said and did all the things a partner should. You challenged him to be better and you were honest with him. You did so much for him and the family. You took care of the house and the kids, even though you needed help. You didn't leave when he missed so many birthdays, little league games and ballet recitals.
Because you loved him and he loved you. No matter how hard or easy things were. You both showed up for each other. No matter what, you had each other's back.
-
Eddie hadn't been home in a few months and you never missed him more. Maybe it was because the kids were asking when he was coming back. Or maybe it was because your anniversary was coming up and you needed your anniversary kisses. Either way he was way overdue for a cuddle session.
All day you tried to focus on the daycare. And for the most part you kept it together. That was until you were about to leave for the day.
He was there. Leaning against his red BMW with his legs crossed at the ankles and hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.
You could cry right now. But instead you melted seeing him smile at you.
“ Hey Mrs. Munson. Beautiful weather we're having.”
You shook your head and went to him. Giving him hugs and all the kisses you've been saving just for him.
“ Mmmmm sweetheart. Let me get you home first.”
He led you to the passenger side and opened the door. As soon as you slid in, you climbed down from cloud nine. You opened your mouth to say something when he closed the door and held up his hand.
“ Don't worry, your car will be safe here and the kids are at Paul's. It's just you and me tonight.”
-
You didn't make it past the living room. You were on each other as soon as the front door closed.
Eddie sighed with satisfaction. “ God I've missed you.”
“ Better have.”
He chuckled and placed a wet kiss on your cheek. “ I always miss you when I'm gone. You and the kids.”
You swallow and nod. “ So how long do we get you for?”
He hummed and pulled you to lay in his arms. “ I'm not sure. 1 or 2, maybe 3 years.”
You lifted your head and gave him a surprise look.
He grinned at you. “ The band decided we needed a break. To get back to our roots and be with our families. So we all agreed that a long vacation would do us good. Obviously, we can't just disappear for 3 years.”
“ Right.”
He reached up and tucked your hair behind your shoulder. “ Yeah. So we set it up to only do local shows a few times a month and do 9 big venues in the surrounding states. But only in the summer so I can bring you guys with me.”
You were speechless. You've been wanting to hear those words from him for a long time now. It was the best thing he had ever said to you.
You smiled softly.“The kids would love that.”
“ What about you?”
You laid your head back on his chest. “ Well I don't know. I guess I can take it or leave it.”
He gasped. “ I beg your pardon!” He then started to tickle your sides and made his way on top of you.
“ Ahhh curls! Okay okay!”
He stopped and grinned down at you.
You smiled back at him. “ I would love nothing more than for all of us to be together. I love that you're home…I miss you bud. So much.”
He nodded slightly before leaning for a kiss.
“ Mmm sooo speaking of all of us…I was thinking maybe we could work on baby 4 and 5.”
You clicked your tongue. “ Hmmm that sounds fun. Maybe pinball after?”
He chuckled lightly. “ Love then pinball?”
“ Or.” You raised a brow. “ Love and pinball?”
“ Oh you're naughty baby.”
You both grinned at each other for a moment before he got up.
“ I'll get us snacks and juice boxes.”
You laughed as he helped you up. “ I'll be down stairs beating your score.”
He smacked your bottom. “ We'll see about that “
-
As you stood in front of the thing that started it all you couldn't help but feel joy. The very same Grand Prix game you guys played all those years ago was now yours. Well it has been since Eddie gifted it to you as a wedding present.
You sighed happily as you took the quarter from the return slot and popped it in. The lights and music were the exact same as always.
You pulled back the spring handle and the ball was off. Whirls and dings were all too exciting. It was perfect. And in a few minutes you were almost to the high score. But then there were hands on your hips pulling you back so that you were flushed against his chest.
“ No distract-” you tried to say but cut off as you watched as the silver ball fell right between your paddles. Then you heard a slight chuckle.
“ Sorry sweetheart. You lost.”
Sighing in defeat, you turned around in his arms and wrapped yours around his neck. “ No bud. I think I won.”
Eddie looked back and forth between your eyes and understood what you meant.
He put his forehead on yours. “ We won.”
...
@marsmunson86 @browneyes528 @erinsingalong @salenorona23 @emsgoodthinkin @eddie-is-a-god @manda-panda-monium
#fanfic#eddie munson#eddie munson x female original character#eddie munson x you#stranger things#eddie munson x plus size reader#eddie x reader#eddie my beloved#eddie x fem!reader#eddie x y/n#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson series#eddie munson smut#plus size reader#Spotify
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In regards to requests. I am a huge angsty fan. So I was wondering about one with Eddie Munson and girlfriend who is pregnant and it's a very difficult pregnancy. And they almost lose her during childbirth. Maybe??? I got the inspiration from "a women's work" by Kate Bush. Thanks 😊
Hush Little Baby
Pairing - Eddie Munson x Female y/n
Warnings- Labour ,Childbirth, Talk of death , Talk of miscarriage , medical complications
Word count – 959
Info – I loved writing this , thank you so much for the request . May or may not have got a bit emotional writing this .
Eddie gripped your hand so tightly, his deep brown decadent eyes peering up at you in awe. You knew he loved you; he showed you every day. You couldn’t imagine a life without him, and you couldn’t believe that growing inside you was an extension of your devotion to each other. The last few months had been so hard for him, seeing you constantly with needles piercing your skin or test after test. This pregnancy had not been easy on either of you, but it tormented Eddie, you knew why. He blamed himself for getting you pregnant, he felt like he was putting you through hell and it was all down to him, and he hated himself for it. If anything happened to you, you knew his whole world would crumble, but he would be ok. You knew he would because of this new life, you had both created it and it would be a part of you that lived on. From the start you knew this was going to be a huge risk, there had been problem after problem, but as you sat there in your hospital bed with all the pain pulsating through your body you knew it would be over soon and it would all be worth it.
“How are you doing sweetheart?” He said, his eyes welling up as the words left his mouth. You hated seeing him like this, you were in agony but all you could think of is you had to be brave you had to fight for him and this baby. You forced a smile. In between your heavy breaths you managed to reply.
“Yeah… I think I’m going to be close to pushing soon.” and with that another contraction gushed through your body you let out an agonizing scream.
“Eddie!”
His hands stroked your head in an attempt to soothe you.
“I know baby, I know. “
“I can not do this I’m not strong enough,” You wept, you could not stop the words before they left your mouth.
Eddie cupped your face as he wiped a single tear that was cascading down your cheek with his thumb.
“Strong? Baby you’re the strongest person I know, don’t say things like that. You are going to make it, you’re both going to make it. There will never be two people on this earth that will be loved as much as you. We are going to be happy; we are going to go on all the adventures we talked about. I am going to teach them guitar while you cook us your famous Mac and Cheese by the beach as the sun sets, just like we talked about y/n, just like I promised”
“But what if I’m not? You have to promise to tell them about me.” Your single tear had turned into a flood that covered your face.
“You can do that yourself; you can do this. I cannot lose you, either of you.”
“Prom…ise… me Eddie.” You panted
His eyes scrunched together as he sharply turned his head away from you, you knew this was stirring up demons inside his head, but you had to know, you had to hear him say it. His head slowly pivoted back his eyes glossy from the tears that had formed.
“But… I love you.”
“Please Eddie”
“I promise.” It was almost a whine that came out of him and the grip he had on your hand tighten as he placed a kiss on the back of it as he did so.
A piercing collection of sounds exploded in the room, and you slowly began to close your eyes. Everything became muffled as you herd a rush of people enter the room.
“Mr Munson you have to leave.”
“I will not leave her!”
You managed to open your eyes slightly, but your vision was impaired and cloudy from the droplets of tears in your eyes. Eddie was being escorted out of the room your hand being separated as he was dragged away, you couldn’t hold onto him, even if you tried.
“Please don’t send me away, please she needs me, I need her.” He almost sounded hysterical.
“Mr Munson, we need to do our job we need to protect her and the baby, she is in safe hands. Please wait in the waiting room.”
Weakly you managed to whisper “I…love…you...Eddie.”
With that last sight of Eddie placed firmly in your head your eyes closed once again and your brain blacked out.
You were awoken by the sound of Eddie cooing what looked like a bundle of blankets cocooned in his arms
“Hush little baby, don’t say a word ...”
His voice soothed you, as you shuffled up slightly in your bed. The pain was almost unbearable but that didn’t seem to matter, you pushed it to the back of your mind. You smiled at the image that was unfolding in front of you. He was so happy, his cheeks rosy as his smile beamed looking down at the person, he held in his arms swaying softly from side to side.
You started to sing softly careful not to startle them.
“Mommy’s going to buy you a mockingbird.”
Eddies eyes looked up at you, you could see the relief on his face as he rushed over to you his smile still glistening.
“Baby, “He spoke softly, “My beautiful girl, you did it… It’s a Girl” and with that he slowly lowered her into your arms. You had never seen something so perfect. Eddie was right. There was never going to be two people more loved in the whole world.
#eddie fucking munson#eddie stranger things#eddie munson fanfic#eddie x reader#joseph quinn#eddie muson fluff#eddie munson request#eddie munson
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the world’s a little blurry | b.b.
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
warnings: none
word count: 2107
summary: bucky is home, and he is yours
note: this is a one shot for now, but i definitely have more ideas for these two <3 this’ll be heavily inspired by tfatws so this is a spoiler warning for anything mentioned! also this is my first time writing bucky so pleaseeeeee give me some mercy lol
enjoy! <3
it’s nearly three in the morning, and you’re lucky if you stay up past midnight, so bucky makes a point to be quiet as he tiptoes into the apartment. after a mission gone awry in the apartment building where you had been neighbors, you’ve been staying with the superhero. something about not losing you and you’re safest here. bucky’s not stupid— caring about someone is a gamble, and it had become clear to his enemies who exactly it was that he cared about.
living with you came lots of things that bucky was not expecting. first off, you’re very cluttered. you call it controlled chaos, he calls it a mess. he’s fascinated by the state of your night stand, mostly. a dying plant and one loose airpod, two half empty water bottles, an empty starbucks cup.
second off, you have a cat. her name is katherine, but you call her kitty, occasionally kiki. and while bucky had been determined not to get attached, after awhile, it was difficult not to. she rubbed up on his legs, cuddled in his lap on the couch, slept on his chest in the middle of the night. she’s fucking adorable, and not even the winter soldier can deny that.
third off… you. you as a whole. he’s sure that it would’ve been a shock living with anyone, but the care that you give him… he’s not used to having someone making sure he’s eating. he’s not used to someone checking up on him throughout the day. he’s not used to having someone to come home to.
it’s nice.
it feels safe.
and he’ll kill anyone who tries to take this peace away from him.
bucky groans as he shucks his jacket off, feeling exactly where his muscles ache. he tries to keep his volume minimal. finally, he opens the door to the bedroom. the bedroom that you share.
this was the biggest adjustment of all.
he’d barely slept in a bed at all before you came along. too soft, too comfortable. he told you as much that first night, and what you had said shocked him.
“well, i’ll just sleep on the floor with you.”
no, oh, just get in bed. no, c’mon, it’s nice. none of those things. just understanding.
but it was more than understanding. it was meeting him exactly where he was.
that was three months ago, and you had kept your word. if you weren’t sleeping on the floor with him, you were on the couch with your hand tangling down, brushing along his hair, his shoulder. every time he felt you bucky swore that he could cry.
it was two months ago that he suggested you both sleep in the bed. and while it wasn’t every night, and some nights he padded out to the living room with a blanket and pillow… it was progress.
and he would wake up to find that you had joined him on the floor.
the nightmares weren’t gone. he’s not sure if they ever would be. but they were growing few and farer between, and the ones he did have were growing more manageable.
things were getting better.
of course, they were not perfect. and he knew that you didn’t expect them to be. he has therapy once a week, sometimes twice during the particularly hard weeks. he’s grown close with sam and his family. and… you.
his girl.
as the door creaks open, he almost chuckles at the sight of you. you’re laying horizontally across the bed, taking up both your side and bucky’s. katherine is curled in at your chest, her nose nearly touching yours. your mouth is open and he can see that there’s a bit of drool in the corner of your mouth, and that does make him laugh. it stirs you and he freezes.
bucky watches as you slowly wake, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, and then rubbing the drool from your mouth. “ew,” you mumble, still half asleep, and bucky leans in the doorway wearing a smirk.
“go back to sleep, doll.”
you hum and stretch, and so does katherine, giving a wide yawn. “you’re home.”
home.
had he ever had a home before?
he did once, as a child. a time that feels so distant, so separate from the life that he leads now. sometimes, it’s hard to even picture the faces of his family members.
he had this apartment, but it never felt like home. not until you waltzed into it with your clutter and your laughter and your vibrancy. not until you cooked dinner hip to hip, not until you listened to music that he had never heard of, not until you watched some movie that was your favorite.
you’re home.
bucky smiles and he nods, sitting on the edge of the bed, pushing your hair back. “i’m home,” he says quietly. “i’m sorry i’m so late.”
you shake your head, your hand taking his. he still wears the gloves. you raise your eyebrows at him. “can i?”
he nods. you make quick work of removing each of his gloves, tossing them across the room, which makes bucky smile. he knows he’ll be picking those up in the morning. you press a kiss to his palm, the one that is flesh and bone. and then you take the other and do the same. “missed you, buck.”
something in his heart constricts as he watches you-- washed in moonlight that comes in through the window, sleepy smile on your face, eyes fixed on him. he knows that look, and he knows what it means. he doesn’t know if he deserves it, but he tries. he’ll always try for you.
“i wasn’t even gone twenty four hours,” the smirk is evident in his tone even if you can’t see it, but you scoff and roll your eyes. “i think you’re needy.”
“needy!” you repeat and laugh, falling back onto the pillow. kitty stirs and looks up at bucky, letting out a loud meow. “she’s the needy one. look at her.”
“both of you.” he scratches kitty’s head and then kisses the top of yours before he stands again. “i’m gonna shower.”
sleep is escaping you and you push yourself up onto your palms. “can i join you?”
he chews on the inside of his cheek and shrugs his shoulders innocently. “better pick up the pace then, soldier.”
with a laugh, you kick the sheets off of you. “yes sir.”
he rolls his eyes and you both shuffle into the bathroom. now, in the light, you’re able to get a good look at him. and your jaw drops slightly at what you see. “bucky,” you say and he already knows what’s coming. you touch the side of his face where a bruise is blossoming. “how the hell does this even happen?”
“part of the gig.”
you groan and he smiles and he does so because he loves you. he loves your mess and he loves your doting, he loves your cat and he loves coming home to see that you’ve taken up the entire bed. “you’re an old man. one of these days you’re gonna have to retire.”
“got unfinished business first.”
you know of his past. of course you do. although, you’re a firm believer that it’s not his past, rather than a past that was decided for him against his will. you’ve made a point of making your stance in that clear. you have heard stories of what bucky has done, but you have tutted and shaken your head. “what hydra did.”
these are the things that bucky tells himself, but it is different to hear it from someone else. someone who is not steve, or sam, or another avenger who has also committed morally grey acts. because, yes, they are all good and trustworthy and worth listening to-- but you. you are his girl. you are his girl who laughs at his jokes and teases him and never once babies him for what happened to him, but you’re also the girl who has woken him from nightmares, who has tended to his wounds, who has been held back from a fight just to defend his honor. you have seen him in his entirety, and you have never balked.
“alright, well--” it’s not lost on you how his eyes trail down your body as you undress, turning on the water and checking the temperature. “as soon of this business of yours is finished…”
“i know.”
the two of you share a look and he gives a crooked grin. “you look nice.”
“there’s dried drool on my face.”
“yeah, i know.”
it’s been nearly a year since you met james buchanan barnes and yet he still gets you to blush. he practically lights up at the sight of the color on your cheeks. “are you--”
“shut up and get in the shower,” you retort, pulling back the curtain and stepping into the steaming water.
“yes, ma’am.” you hear the shuffling of his clothes falling to the floor and then he is behind you, hands going up and down your arms. you let out a sigh and tilt your head back, peering up at him. water trails down his nose, dripping off and onto your forehead.
you don’t tell bucky, but you do worry. you worry every second that he’s gone on a mission. you know that you don’t have to say it, that he knows. and you trust that he will come home to you. bucky turns you and he holds your face in his hands and he presses his lips to yours and you know that he feels the same way.
i’ll always come back is spelled out in the way that he kissed you, the way that he holds the back of your head. we have forever is heaved from your lungs as he sucks the air from you.
when you part, you smile at his lips-- slightly swollen, pinker than normal. you rub your thumb along the bottom one and he catches your hand. he presses it on his chest, right where his heart hides beneath skin and bone. “you don’t have to do all of this to make up for what they did to you,” you say over the sound of water. “you’re allowed to have a normal life, if you want it.”
“i know.” he pushes a piece of wet hair from your face. “i just don’t--” he shakes his head and you know this all too well-- he doesn’t quite know what to say, he starts closing up and off and away, the high walls that guard his heart and mind beginning to take shape. “i feel like if i don’t… what was it all for?”
delicate hands move across his torso. you lather up a loofah and begin washing away blood and grime. “bucky,” you say and he looks at you, steely blue eyes staring right into yours. “you make people happy. you have people who love you, who care for you. you don’t owe the world reparations.”
he winces as you go over a particular bruise and you slow your movements, make them featherlight. “all i know is,” you begin. “whatever it is you want, whatever it is that fulfills your life… make sure it’s for you.”
a smile curls on his face and he stills your hands. “thank you.” he takes the loofah from you. “let me get you.”
“but i’m not done--”
“please. let me.”
you surrender and he begins to wash you, and your forehead falls to his shoulder, calm washing over your body. you could’ve been standing there for minutes or hours, you’re unsure. he pushes your hair back and at some point you realize that he is washing your hair, and you press gently open mouthed kisses against his chest and you hear his breath catch and you fall in love with him all over again.
“let me get yours--” you mumble around a yawn and you watch as he smirks down at you. “really, let me.”
bucky shakes his head and he turns the water off. “tomorrow,” he says.
you towel off and when you clamber into bed, you feel the weight of him beside you, your cat nestled between the both of you. you feel him pull you into him, his breath against your neck and his lips against your pulse point, and your eyes flutter shut. before sleep captures you, you murmur, “i love you, james bucky barnes.”
the feeling of his smile against your skin is imprinted on your heart, and his words coax you into sleep-- “i love you too, doll.”
bucky barnes sleeps through the night and doesn’t wake once.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky x you#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfic#my writing#the world's a little blurry#eeeee i'm so excited to post thissssss
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Touch Starved
Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader
CW: none
Length: 4k+
Inspired by this picture
Requests are Open!
“Naruto?”
Your voice broke out softly through the momentary silence. The wind had been howling almost constantly that night, keeping you wide awake. You weren’t afraid of anything, not really. At twelve years old, you, like many of your friends, had the notion that you were invincible. Nothing could touch you, and you would always come out on top. You would miss that as you grew older, the confidence in yourself and your abilities. The belief that the world was fair, and that the good guys always won.
So it wasn’t really that you were scared of the way the wind screamed, the whistles through the tree leaves or the sporadic loud crashes that came as the wind blew branches and even tree trunks to the ground. Maybe it was the fact that you had experienced the first death of an enemy on a mission.
And maybe it was deserved. He had been a criminal, after all, and you hadn’t delivered the fateful blow; of course not. It had been Kakashi, in a bid to save your life.
So maybe you were scared, or traumatized, or reeling from your innocence being shattered for the very first time. Whatever you felt, you were still too young, too inexperienced, to be able to pinpoint what exactly the distressed tugging of your heart meant.
It was what had dragged you from your own tent to Naruto’s, quietly and nervously. Kakashi was in his own tent, and you had been sharing with Sakura who was fast asleep. Having her by your side did nothing to calm the storm beginning to brew from inside you.
You had opened his tent timidly, doing your best not to startle him awake. He was fast asleep, on his side in fetal position hugging his pillow to him tightly. But when you spoke his name, your voice stirred him even from his deep slumber.
Naruto whispered your name, groggily, confused, but he’d know your voice anywhere.
Yawning, he sat up rubbing at his eyes, peering at you curiously. “What happened?” He asked.
“Can I sleep in here with you?”
If you were brave, then there were no words adequate enough to describe the courage that burned within Naruto’s heart. He was sure of himself, of what he believed. He would do anything to protect the ones he loved. He would do anything for you. You couldn’t think of a safer place than by his side.
“Yeah, of course.”
Relief flooded through you as you dragged your sleeping bag into the tent, fitting it next to his with some distance of course. You were best friends, but you were also twelve. There was something embarrassing about sleeping so close to someone of the opposite gender. But you couldn’t remember a time where you had ever slept more soundly.
And thus a new tradition had been born. For the whole year and a half afterwards, anytime you and Naruto were on a mission together, you shared a tent. Sure some of your friends teased you for it, and whatever jonin leading your team would shoot the two of you knowing looks as if they had some secret knowledge that you and Naruto hadn’t yet discovered.
But for you and Naruto, it was normal, as natural as anything. The two of you already spent all your time by each other’s side—it only made sense that that would include sharing a tent when on missions together.
It was only ever a tent though. It wasn’t like the two of you cuddled or anything. That was just embarrassing! Though you two were now out of the stage of believing in cooties, you were beginning to understand that there were some secret, unspoken rules for the way you were expected to act with the other gender. Ridiculous, arbitrary rules that were as old as time and didn’t account for the complexity that was the gender spectrum, but you didn’t understand any of that just yet.
When Naruto left, you were heartbroken, of course. Shattered even. You’d never known that it could feel like you had a hole in your heart until Naruto had taken part of yours with him. You dreaded the years to come of missing him.
But he had work to do and so did you. Naruto was going to get stronger and there was no way you would be left behind. Every time you missed him, you threw yourself into your training. The years didn’t pass quickly, but you found as time went on you were able to find other things that made you feel more whole even when you weren’t.
And just as suddenly, that void was filled. Blond hair and bright orange clothing filled your vision and kicked your heart up into your throat. You hadn’t expected to see him, but nothing could have made you happier.
You’d worried over the years that when Naruto came home, things would be different. Spending two and a half years apart changed things, and you had grown a lot. But you and Naruto fell into step together like he had never left, and just like that you had your best friend back.
But things had changed, though you weren’t going to admit that. When his blue eyes met yours, your breath stopped. Every time his fingers ran through his hair, it was like you were in another world. Part of you knew things were different, but you were never going to say it out loud. You buried your feelings deep within you, hiding your heart like a secret.
The thing that made you most nervous was when you and Naruto had your first mission together since he’d been back. You, Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi, just like the mission where you’d first shared a tent. You didn’t know what to say, embarrassed to ask if you would both share a tent like when you were younger. If that had been embarrassing when you were twelve, it was even worse when you were sixteen.
When your team stopped for camp Kakashi went to secure the perimeter and Sakura to gather firewood. You went to work setting up your own tent when you felt Naruto’s presence behind you. You turned to look at him. He was standing there, scratching the back of his head, pink dusting his cheeks as he looked anywhere but at you.
“I didn’t bring a tent…” He admitted sheepishly. “When we were younger, we always shared a tent, and I figured we’d just do that again… I can share with Kakashi, though, if it’s weird. I don’t mean to—”
“Naruto,” You interrupted him with a laugh, though the color on your cheeks now matched his. “Of course we can share a tent.” You told him, turning back to your work as you set it up. “Don’t be weird.” You weren’t sure if it was a message to him or to yourself.
Unlike everything else with Naruto’s return, sleeping by Naruto didn’t feel as natural as it had before. There was a tension, almost palpable, settling in the tent. It was as if there was a string attaching your fingers to his, and the more the string pulled you to him, the closer to your sides you kept your hands. You couldn’t know that he felt it too.
The mission was straight forward and accomplished quickly. As soon as it started, it ended, and your team was heading back to the leaf village, only a days journey away. You would stop around the same area you had the night before, camping for the evening before heading home at daylight. You and Naruto had barely talked the whole way.
That night reminded you of the one when you had first crawled into Naruto’s tent. The wind was roaring making it hard to fall asleep. It was winter this time, however, and you hadn’t accounted for the night being so cold. The clothes you’d chosen to sleep in did nothing to keep in your body’s warmth, and your teeth chattered audibly as you curled into your sleeping bag, back to Naruto.
When your name left his hips, it almost startled you. The two of you had crawled into the tent quietly, not even bothering to say goodnight, the weight of the change in your relationship that you could both feel hanging heavy between you.
“Yeah?” You found yourself saying back, almost too quietly for him to hear. Almost.
“Uh, do you wanna, I dunno, sleep in my sleeping bag with me?” He mumbled, the words coming out fast and bunching together. “It’s just really cold, and I’m afraid that your teeth are going to break from clicking together so hard.” He hoped the joke would make it less weird, that you would feel more comfortable.
The question choked you with something you didn’t have words for, a feeling that bubbled in your stomach, spreading warm and shaky throughout your body.
“Okay.”
You crawled slowly, oh so slowly from your bag to his. He tried to scoot to one side, to make room. He unzipped the bag just a little bit, enough for you to crawl in next to him before he zipped it back up. There wasn’t enough room for you to lay comfortably next to him. Your body was on his just a bit, head by his chest and your arms pressed tightly to your side. You felt frozen with excitement and nerves. This was as close to a boy as you’d ever been.
The silence seemed to go on forever, but it was just a few seconds. Naruto’s arm had been pressed motionless to his sides, but slowly he felt them thaw before wrapping around your body, pressing you to him.
“You can like, hug me, ya know? Or put your arms on me or something. Just to be more comfortable.”
You nodded, your throat dry as you tried to swallow. You unlatched your arms from your body, a hand going up to rest on his chest. It only took a moment or two to get comfortable, to feel like your body fit perfectly into his. Falling asleep in Naruto’s arms, that was the most comfortable you’d ever slept.
The next morning, there wasn’t an awkwardness. It was something else, something sweeter, shyer. The string pulled your fingers closer, and though your hand didn’t touch his, neither did it pull away. You’d never felt so giddy in your life.
If only you knew what it meant to Naruto.
Naruto couldn’t remember one time in his life that he had cuddled with another person. He was sure that he must’ve been held at least occasionally as a baby, but it wasn’t anything he could remember. No one hugged him as he grew, no one tucked him in at night or rocked him to sleep. Once, when he was four, Naruto had found a puppy that got away from its owner. Naruto scooped the small animal up, holding him in his arms. The puppy had licked him affectionately, and Naruto was embarrassed by the fact that the small action had brought him to tears. Iruka’s hand on his head was the first affectionate touch he could remember from another person. He’d thought his heart would burst at that moment. It was nothing compared to what he’d felt getting to hold you while he slept.
He’d heard people say that hugging could lower stress, elevate your mood, even help prevent you from getting sick. He’d never understood it. Naruto had occasionally hugged Sakura and gotten affectionate touches from his sensei as he got older, but sleeping with you was different.
He understood now what the experts meant when they spoke about the benefits of hugging. He could comprehend why romantic relationships were so important to people if they got to touch their partner every day. Cuddling with you that night had Naruto’s head reeling, high off an emotion he didn’t even have a name for. He’d never felt so close to another person, so connected. How had he survived sixteen years without this? How had he survived those two and a half years training without you?
It was a mix of emotions as your head hit your pillow that night. You were relieved to have been able to take a shower. A home cooked meal never tasted so good as it did after a mission where you survived off dried meats. The softness of your mattress definitely beat the cold hard ground. But, you realized, you would gladly spend a lifetime sleeping on the floor of the woods if you got to sleep by Naruto’s side.
It was too scary to think about these new feelings. You knew what it was now, that you didn’t just see Naruto as your best friend. You liked Naruto. Maybe even more than liked him. You didn’t know how this could have happened. How could you ever face him again? If he knew how you felt, your friendship would be ruined.
You had resolved to avoid him for the foreseeable future so that you could wait out the feelings. Maybe if you had some time apart, the feelings would go away, and nothing would have to change between the two of you.
Your eyes had finally started to flutter closed with exhaustion when you heard tapping on your window, startling you. Sitting up, you looked uncertainly towards the window before finally getting up and going to inspect the noise. Naruto’s face peering back at you from the other side was the last thing you expected to see.
Opening the window as quietly as you could, you willed the butterflies in your stomach to quell. “Naruto, what are you doing here?” You whispered, glancing back towards your bedroom door, sure that your parents would burst through at any moment.
Naruto looked sheepishly back at you, a bashful grin on his face. “Sorry, did I wake you?” He asked. Rolling your eyes, you did your best to bite back the giddy smile playing on your own lips.
“Yes, Naruto. I’m trying to sleep. What are you doing here?” You asked him again. Instead of answering, Naruto began climbing through your window, making a little too much noise. You shushed him with a stifled giggle as he fell to the floor. “You’re going to wake my parents,” You told him, trying to look stern. Naruto hopped back up to his feet looking at you embarrassedly.
“I couldn’t sleep…” He admitted, his eyes flickering from yours back to the floor. “I was wondering… Do you think I could sleep here tonight?”
The question hung between the two of you, innocent and unassuming. It wasn’t that weird, the two of you were thinking. You shared a tent on missions; was it that different sharing a bed?
“Yeah, okay.” You agreed, feeling breathless. Naruto was in his pajamas too, you realized, decked in a white t shirt and orange sweats. You turned from him, walking slowly to your bed, doing your best not to make any noise. “You have to leave before my parents are up, okay?” You whispered as you climbed back into your bed.
Naruto nodded enthusiastically, following after you. “I will, believe it!” He said a little too loudly for someone that wasn’t supposed to be there. You shot him a look, though you couldn’t help but smile.
Climbing into the bed after you, Naruto got comfortable under the covers, and the two of you laid next to each other silently. Staring at the ceiling, you wondered if Naruto could hear the sound of your heartbeat as it rang in your ears. This was fine. This was normal for two best friends.
You weren’t sure how long you laid there, more awake than you had been before. You closed your eyes, doing your best to get some rest and failing miserably. You were too aware of Naruto’s presence beside you. He seemed to have fallen asleep long ago if his rhythmic breathing was anything to go by.
And then, suddenly, you felt him rolling over. His hand reached out in the darkness, finding you and pulling you flush against his chest. His arms wrapped around you, holding you to him before his body went still again. You froze, looking up at his face. Was he awake? Had he meant to do that? It was impossible to tell with his eyes screwed shut.
You felt alive, truly alive, for the first time in your life. Nothing had ever felt so right.
The next morning, as promised, Naruto was back out the window before your parents woke up. The two of you had stayed in that position all night, and when Naruto began to shift awake, he looked at you with a shy, lopsided smile. All he said was a quiet “good morning” before he was sneaking out.
And there was no way to hide now that things had definitely changed. It was unspoken, but you both knew it. Neither of you knew what to say about it, didn’t know if you even should say anything about it. It wasn’t bad. It was good, better than good, but so new and unexplored for the both of you that you didn’t know how to approach the subject, so you said nothing about it.
It became a regular occurrence for Naruto to climb through your window every night to sleep in your bed. Each time he did, it became easier for Naruto to pull you into him as he fell asleep, and every morning when he left, you wondered how you had ever slept without Naruto’s arms around you.
All of your friends noticed the change between you and Naruto too, though no one said anything. They all exchanged curious glances with each other, seeing how easily Naruto touched you now and the way the two of you looked at each other just a little bit longer than you used to. But no one knew about your and Naruto’s extended sleepover, and so they all whispered among themselves, but said nothing about it to your faces.
When your parents decided to move back to the village that you had been born in, they gave you the option to stay in the leaf. You were only sixteen, but you were a ninja afterall. You were more than capable of making your own choices and taking care of yourself.
And of course you stayed. This was where your life was, where your friends were. Even more importantly, this was where Naruto was.
So when you told him your predicament, that you needed to find a new place to stay, he didn’t hesitate in offering to stay with him. You were sitting at his kitchen table when he said it, and he immediately began pushing things around the small apartment. “You see? We can put your bed here, and can move this over here…” He motioned to the space he had created. “It may be a little cramped, but at least until you can find something else?”
Of course your friends teased the two of you about your new living arrangements. Never when you were together. Everyone was insistent, desperate to be the one that got one of you to cave and admit your feelings for each other. For your part, you just smiled and said, “He’s my best friend.”
And that flew for a while. The same people that had been sure you and Naruto were meant to be began to wonder if they had it wrong all along, began to wonder if you and Naruto truly were just friends.
They didn’t know that you never got around to getting your own bed at Naruto’s house. That first night, you just shared his bed because you’d been doing it for so long. The same thing happened the next night, and the night after that, and the thought of getting a separate bed just didn’t seem that important. And anyways, you’d gotten used to sleeping by Naruto’s side. Naruto knew that if you got your own bed, he would just climb into yours every night.
You were only sixteen, but Naruto wanted nothing more than to spend every night by your side. He couldn’t remember a time in his life where he’d ever been so happy. There was so much on his mind all the time, the oncoming war, getting Sasuke back. And even with the chaos surrounding him, Naruto was at peace because of you. He had a confidence that everything would work out okay. He couldn’t imagine a scenario in which it wouldn’t.
It was the first time that Sakura and Ino had stopped by since you’d moved in that it was pointed out how unconventional your arrangement was. Sure, you both knew it wasn’t exactly normal, but it worked for the two of you. You didn’t see any harm in it.
Naruto was away on a mission when the girls had stopped by, needing to borrow something. When you let them in, they excitedly looked around the small studio apartment, wanting to see if and how you had changed Naruto’s place.
“Uh, where’s the other bed?” Sakura asked as you closed a cupboard, pulling out the tupperware they needed.
“Hm?” You asked, placing it on the table. “Oh, I haven’t gotten one yet. We usually just share.” You said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world. You’d shared your bed with Naruto so long, it no longer embarrassed you. You’d just never had a reason to mention it.
Sakura and Ino’s jaws dropped. They looked from you to each other, wondering if you were serious. You picked up on their shock, looking back at them sheepishly. “What?” You mumbled, feeling your face heating up.
“Are you guys, like, dating?” Ino placed her hand on her hip, looking at you expectedly. You shook your head.
“No, of course not. He’s my best friend! I just haven’t gotten my own bed yet. It’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal!?” Sakura exclaimed. “It’s a huge deal! You guys live together, share a bed together… you’re practically married!”
Ino nodded in agreement. “Sakura’s right. That’s a weird thing for two ‘best friends’ to be doing. It’s not normal.”
Sakura and Ino’s words rang through your head all day after they’d gone. Was it that weird? Sure, the whole thing had been nerve wracking at first, but now it was just part of your dynamic like everything else was. Of course you still harbored your feelings for Naruto, but you’d pushed them deep down, pretending they weren’t there in a bid to save your and Naruto’s friendship.
You were already in bed when he got back from his mission that night. He threw open the door, dropping his bag and sighing loudly. “Are you awake?” He called as he made his way to the bathroom.
“I am now,” You laughed, rolling your eyes as you heard the shower start. You yawned, your body tired despite how awake your mind was. It was a while longer before Naruto was finally ready to settle in for the night.
With a loud yawn, he dropped down on the bed beside you, stretching. “I missed this,” he said, turning over as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. He reached for you instinctively, a happy sigh leaving his lips as you cuddled into his chest.
But Naruto knew you better than anyone, and he could tell something was on your mind. “Everything okay?” He murmured against your hair, moments from falling asleep.
“Is this weird?” You asked him timidly, afraid to hear his answer.
Naruto froze for a moment before pulling away slightly, just enough so he could look down at you. “Is what weird?” He asked back slowly.
You shrugged. “Sakura and Ino stopped by today. They saw we share a bed and… I don’t know. They said it wasn’t normal.” You were afraid to voice the thought, but you couldn’t help it. The seed had been planted, and it wouldn’t stop growing.
But Naruto just rolled his eyes in response. “You’re gonna listen to them?” He asked with a small laugh. “What do they know about normal?”
“They said it was only normal for people that were, like, in a relationship. Not people that were just friends…”
Naruto was quiet, and you could tell he was mulling over the information, no doubt wondering--much like you were--if they had a point. He pulled away even more, and you could see in the moonlight that he was blushing. “Are we just friends?”
The words hit you like a freight train, knocking the breath straight from your lungs. You weren’t ready for this conversation. Things had been going so well, you’d been so happy and comfortable. You weren’t ready for things between you and Naruto to change, not yet. But now you didn’t have a choice.
“Do you want to be?” You whispered back.
The silence lingered, heavy and suffocating. You felt ready to cry. You loved Naruto. You didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer, but you didn’t want to lose him either. If he didn’t feel the same way… You didn’t know what you’d do. You couldn’t think of anything any more devastating.
Reluctantly, you brought your eyes up to meet Naruto’s brilliant blue ones. They were staring earnestly into yours, searching for an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked. Slowly, shakily, he brought his hand up to your face, brushing your hair back. His touch was soft, barely there, and it sent shivers up your spine.
Finally, he leaned in to you, bringing his lips to brush against yours in a sweet, shy kiss. The motion was unsure, nervous. He’d been dying to do that for months now, and he had no idea how you would react.
Naruto’s kiss sent your head reeling. You’d always thought that kissing Naruto would send your heart racing, but instead it slowed, calming every nerve in your body.
When Naruto pulled away, he was wearing a grin that matched yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” He told you, stroking your cheek. You could only smile in response, pulling him in to kiss you once more
Naruto had gone his whole life touch starved and alone. Affection was so scarce, he hadn’t even known what he was missing.
Sharing a bed, sleeping next to you, kissing you goodnight. It wasn’t scary or unsure.
It felt like coming home.
#narutoxreader#naruto uzumakixreader#naruto#naruto uzumaki#naruto imagines#naruto headcanon#naruto imagine#naruto headcanons#naruto x you#narutoxyou#naruto x reader imagines#naruto x reader imagine#naruto x reader headcanons#naruto uzumaki x reader#naruto x reader#naruto uzumaki x reader imagines#naruto uzumaki x reader headcanon#naruto uzumaki x reader headcanons
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The Most Unlikely Thing
A Stolitz Wedding One-Shot
Inspired by this lovely art by @sator-the-wanderer on Instagram (Link at the end)
(Note: This is my first time writing with Helluva Boss Characters—I was worried they wouldn’t be in character, but I hope you enjoy!!)
Most would say a night like this would never happen. That it was one of the many outlandish and downright ridiculous thoughts that appeared within the mind of anyone who knew them. If you said it outloud, you’d get a quick laugh out of the person you told, then the subject would be changed in an instant-as if it was never said at all.
Moxxie had that thought once. Right around 2AM he woke up from an uneventful dreamscape, and processed the thought with every ounce of his intellect. Even after that, it still made no sense. He turned to Millie’s side, taking a deep breath before he spoke.
“Millie? Are you awake?”
His wife stirred for a moment, a small yawn before she responded. “Yeah, Moxx?” She mumbled.
“I...had a weird thought..” He sat up, running his hand through his snow-white hair, soon scratching the top of his head.
“What was it?” She sat up a little, both curious and worried about what he might be thinking.
“Well-” He paused for a moment, giving the room a good look around before he continued. If a certain someone was here, listening, he wouldn’t hear the end of it. “It’s about Blitz and uh...Prince Stolas.”
Millie’s golden eyes widened as her tail started swishing like a curious cat. Any worry she had was gone, now she wanted to know all the details surrounding this. “Well?? Don’t keep me in suspense!” She smiled eagerly, shaking him by the arm a little.
“So like...and this is just a hypothetical..” He chuckled, smiling nervously for a quick second. “I just wondered for a second...well..” At this moment their eyes were locked, Moxxie’s face now torn between smiling or frowning. He had no idea what to feel. “Do you think they could ever...end up like us?”
Millie tilted her head, raising a brow. “Ya mean like...married ‘n stuff?”
Moxxie nodded a few times. “Yeah, Yeah! Do you...do you think-?”
She put a hand on her chin. “Well...I don’t think it isn’t possible. I mean...I’m pretty sure...excluding their little agreement...maybe they do like each other..”
“Do they though?” He started to lay down again, now staring at the ceiling. “I mean clearly Stolas likes him to the point where he won’t stop gushing over him. But...Blitz?”
“Who knows, hon. Blitz hardly talks about how he really feels. Maybe he does. And maybe one day they will…” The last thing didn’t sound so sure.
Moxxie turned his head. “But?”
“All relationships are complex, Moxx. And those two? Hell, it could take them years before they even think about something like that. But then again…”
“What?”
“Sometimes the thing you least expect might happen sooner than you think.”
Moxxie blinked a couple times, squinting a bit. “Sooo...you do or you don’t think they could-” He was interrupted by Millie giving him a kiss on the lips. She turned the light off next, shifting back into her sleeping position.
“Goodnight, Moxxie.”
Moxxie sighed, slowly closing his eyes as sleep began to cloud his mind again.
He still couldn’t believe he actually thought that. Although it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, it still surprised him no less. But despite how much he just wanted to forget it, it made him think about what Millie said.
It was true Blitz was starting to show a small glimmer of affection towards the Goetian Prince, especially since the rescue from a few nights ago. The concern and sudden display of power through a demonic transformation was enough to make Blitz gawk at the sight of it. And the way Stolas gently cupped his face asking if he was alright afterwards made everyone else in the room stare, Blitz feeling slightly embarrassed by the whole situation.
Yet it still made him think that maybe...just maybe something like that could happen. But that wasn’t up to him. Whatever they decided would leave this idea, this thought, completely within the hands of faith itself.
And with that, Moxxie fell asleep.
———————
Three years ago, it was never spoken of outside of that one night. And neither of the two had ever acted upon such a decision until much much time had passed. But now the stars were in their favor.
The sky was a dark, beautiful crimson that had mixed with a captivating wine purple. The stars were scattered, dusting the sky and turning it into a dazzling display of twilight.
They had kept it small, the only ones being present were close friends and family—which was basically four people. But it didn’t matter how many people were there, or where they did it. All that mattered was that it happened—which had ended up on the roof of I.M.P’s office building.
The vows had been short, with a few important bits here and there; Moxxie having to be both the one to wed them and the best man to the boss himself. He wasn’t sure he had the exact authority to do so, but both explained it was better than having someone else they didn’t know. Because once this got out, they’d have a whole other thing to deal with. But that was a future problem they would solve when it became relevant to them.
Blitz was given a stepstool so he could reach Stolas without having to stand on the tips of his toes. He didn’t want the stepstool, saying that he’d look like a complete joke. But if Stolas had to lift him up for this part, he would be unable to think clearly from the embarrassment.
Stolas didn’t seem to care how many people were present, or where they decided to host the reception. There was only one thing that mattered in this moment, and the smile of genuine compassion refused to leave his face the entire night. Blitz looking up with him while trying to contain himself only seemed to make him smile more. He was adorable.
Both eagerly waited for Moxxie to finish up, Blitz trying to keep himself from falling off the stool by how much he was moving. Of course he stood perfectly still once he heard the last few words out of Moxxie’s mouth.
“You may now kiss—”
Blitz practically jumped into Stolas’ embrace, quickly locking lips with him as the two slowly started to get lost in intimacy.
The four clapped while giving the newly weds smiles of congratulations. But those quickly faded away when they noticed the two weren’t paying attention anymore. The passionate kissing lasted for almost two minutes before Loona had to break them away from each other.
“Hey, lovebirds. Maybe wait till none of us can see you.” She rolled her eyes, putting Blitz down after basically pulling him off of Stolas.
Blitz put a hand on his head, taking a look around. “Oh shit, I forgot we were doing this.”
Stolas bent over with a light chuckle, booping Blitz’s nose. “-and aren’t you so glad we did, Blitzy~?”
The Imp pushed his face away as he blushed a bit more. “Yeah yeah just…don’t make it a bigger deal than it already is..”
“Looks like someone’s trying to pretend he can’t be romantic for once.” Moxxie smirked, making Blitz turn around in retaliation. His face was now a different form of red.
“Well you know what, Moxxie?! You—!” Then he stopped, biting his lip as he put his accusing finger away. “You…did..a good job…tonight..” He mumbled under his breath.
Moxxie kept smirking, raising a hand to where his ear would be. “Oh, what was that? Could you repeat what you said a little louder?”
Blitz shifted uncomfortably, hoping this was the last time. None of this was like him. And in front of his entire friend circle too!
“You…didagoodjobtonight..” He said it louder as per Moxxie’s request, just a bit faster than normal. Now everyone heard him…however-
“Maybe a little louder…and slower?” He leaned in closer.
“Goddammit, Moxxie! I already held back insulting you just let me have this!” He snapped a little, making everyone else just laugh in response. Moxxie put a hand on his shoulder, his smile genuine.
“Thanks, Blitz.”
———————
The rest of the wedding had lasted a couple hours. Since the group was so small, dancing and talking underneath Hell’s strangely unnatural starlight felt more meaningful.
Eventually, M&M had to leave. But they wished the two best of luck, the wedding present they got the only thing left of them from tonight. Octavia and Loona decided to head inside the office to give their dads space. Now that they were legally sisters, hanging out would feel more genuine. Like you had someone else there looking out for you. Loona now was able to shout anything about being her big sister to anyone who tried to mess with them.
Up on the roof, Blitz and Stolas were laying down on what used to be the tablecloth to the buffet, staring at the stars. Blitz had taken advantage of using Stolas’ chest as a fluffy pillow. It was so comforting, like he could just lay there forever and never get up. But then…something did make him get up. He sat and hugged his knees close, his expression somewhat distraught. His eyes turned briefly to the owl demon, feeling strange.
“Stolas?” He finally broke the silence.
Stolas had already taken note of Blitz sitting up. But he quickly sat up when next he saw his partner’s face.
“What’s the matter, Blitzy? Are you feeling alright?” His questions were genuine, making Blitz feel worse.
“Is this…is this what you want? Do you really want…me?” Something in his voice cracked and that made Stolas’ heart feel a strike of pain.
“Of course I do! Tell me, what brought this on?” He held Blitz’s chin in his hand gently so their eyes met once more.
“It’s…It’s just how we started out. And everything after that…I don’t know why it took me so fucking long to actually admit that I…” He paused. “…felt this way.”
“And?”
“And…I didn’t think that you would actually..! You…You said yes.” His eyes started to water. “Why the hell did you say yes?!”
Stolas pulled him in close, caressing his back. “Because I love you, Blitzy…And you being there all those times, even when I didn’t truly feel this way—it still meant something to me. And I know it meant something to you.”
Blitz let out a crying sound, something he would never do. At least, not in public. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, but he just felt so vulnerable now…and he hated it. Stolas quickly responded to this by cupping his face and lifting it up so they were at eye level again.
The Imp’s lip was quivering and his eyes were bloodshot enough to almost blend in with his eye color. The tears were staining his cheeks, big droopy ones making him look like an absolute wreck. He looked even more embarrassed now than he did before.
Stolas wiped some of the tears away with one of his hands, a comforting smile. “Oh, Blitzy…do you think we’d really be here if I didn’t feel this way?”
He sniffed, trying to contain himself before he responded. “No..None of this would be…” He took a deep breath. “I guess I’m so used to pushing people away I never thought you’d actually stick around.”
Stolas gave him another kiss, shorter than before, but something about this one felt even more emotional than the last. Something about this one made Blitz want nothing more than to be with him. No matter what his fears were telling him.
“I love you, Blitzy…” It was the third or fourth time he had said it tonight, but this time it felt deeper.
“I love you too, Stolas…” He returned the kiss, both landing back down on the floor.
It was at that moment they refused to let this feeling leave them. For even though the memory of this magical night would fly by, they would never ever forget it.
End.
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Touch Starved
REPOSTED ON MY MAIN NARUTO BLOG BECAUSE IT WASN’T SHOWING UP IN THE TAGS. MORE WRITING TO COME ON @narutogwriting
Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader
CW: none
Length: 4k+
Inspired by this picture
Requests are Open!
“Naruto?”
Your voice broke out softly through the momentary silence. The wind had been howling almost constantly that night, keeping you wide awake. You weren’t afraid of anything, not really. At twelve years old, you, like many of your friends, had the notion that you were invincible. Nothing could touch you, and you would always come out on top. You would miss that as you grew older, the confidence in yourself and your abilities. The belief that the world was fair, and that the good guys always won.
So it wasn’t really that you were scared of the way the wind screamed, the whistles through the tree leaves or the sporadic loud crashes that came as the wind blew branches and even tree trunks to the ground. Maybe it was the fact that you had experienced the first death of an enemy on a mission.
And maybe it was deserved. He had been a criminal, after all, and you hadn’t delivered the fateful blow; of course not. It had been Kakashi, in a bid to save your life.
So maybe you were scared, or traumatized, or reeling from your innocence being shattered for the very first time. Whatever you felt, you were still too young, too inexperienced, to be able to pinpoint what exactly the distressed tugging of your heart meant.
It was what had dragged you from your own tent to Naruto’s, quietly and nervously. Kakashi was in his own tent, and you had been sharing with Sakura who was fast asleep. Having her by your side did nothing to calm the storm beginning to brew from inside you.
You had opened his tent timidly, doing your best not to startle him awake. He was fast asleep, on his side in fetal position hugging his pillow to him tightly. But when you spoke his name, your voice stirred him even from his deep slumber.
Naruto whispered your name, groggily, confused, but he’d know your voice anywhere.
Yawning, he sat up rubbing at his eyes, peering at you curiously. “What happened?” He asked.
“Can I sleep in here with you?”
If you were brave, then there were no words adequate enough to describe the courage that burned within Naruto’s heart. He was sure of himself, of what he believed. He would do anything to protect the ones he loved. He would do anything for you. You couldn’t think of a safer place than by his side.
“Yeah, of course.”
Relief flooded through you as you dragged your sleeping bag into the tent, fitting it next to his with some distance of course. You were best friends, but you were also twelve. There was something embarrassing about sleeping so close to someone of the opposite gender. But you couldn’t remember a time where you had ever slept more soundly.
And thus a new tradition had been born. For the whole year and a half afterwards, anytime you and Naruto were on a mission together, you shared a tent. Sure some of your friends teased you for it, and whatever jonin leading your team would shoot the two of you knowing looks as if they had some secret knowledge that you and Naruto hadn’t yet discovered.
But for you and Naruto, it was normal, as natural as anything. The two of you already spent all your time by each other’s side—it only made sense that that would include sharing a tent when on missions together.
It was only ever a tent though. It wasn’t like the two of you cuddled or anything. That was just embarrassing! Though you two were now out of the stage of believing in cooties, you were beginning to understand that there were some secret, unspoken rules for the way you were expected to act with the other gender. Ridiculous, arbitrary rules that were as old as time and didn’t account for the complexity that was the gender spectrum, but you didn’t understand any of that just yet.
When Naruto left, you were heartbroken, of course. Shattered even. You’d never known that it could feel like you had a hole in your heart until Naruto had taken part of yours with him. You dreaded the years to come of missing him.
But he had work to do and so did you. Naruto was going to get stronger and there was no way you would be left behind. Every time you missed him, you threw yourself into your training. The years didn’t pass quickly, but you found as time went on you were able to find other things that made you feel more whole even when you weren’t.
And just as suddenly, that void was filled. Blond hair and bright orange clothing filled your vision and kicked your heart up into your throat. You hadn’t expected to see him, but nothing could have made you happier.
You’d worried over the years that when Naruto came home, things would be different. Spending two and a half years apart changed things, and you had grown a lot. But you and Naruto fell into step together like he had never left, and just like that you had your best friend back.
But things had changed, though you weren’t going to admit that. When his blue eyes met yours, your breath stopped. Every time his fingers ran through his hair, it was like you were in another world. Part of you knew things were different, but you were never going to say it out loud. You buried your feelings deep within you, hiding your heart like a secret.
The thing that made you most nervous was when you and Naruto had your first mission together since he’d been back. You, Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi, just like the mission where you’d first shared a tent. You didn’t know what to say, embarrassed to ask if you would both share a tent like when you were younger. If that had been embarrassing when you were twelve, it was even worse when you were sixteen.
When your team stopped for camp Kakashi went to secure the perimeter and Sakura to gather firewood. You went to work setting up your own tent when you felt Naruto’s presence behind you. You turned to look at him. He was standing there, scratching the back of his head, pink dusting his cheeks as he looked anywhere but at you.
“I didn’t bring a tent…” He admitted sheepishly. “When we were younger, we always shared a tent, and I figured we’d just do that again… I can share with Kakashi, though, if it’s weird. I don’t mean to—”
“Naruto,” You interrupted him with a laugh, though the color on your cheeks now matched his. “Of course we can share a tent.” You told him, turning back to your work as you set it up. “Don’t be weird.” You weren’t sure if it was a message to him or to yourself.
Unlike everything else with Naruto’s return, sleeping by Naruto didn’t feel as natural as it had before. There was a tension, almost palpable, settling in the tent. It was as if there was a string attaching your fingers to his, and the more the string pulled you to him, the closer to your sides you kept your hands. You couldn’t know that he felt it too.
The mission was straight forward and accomplished quickly. As soon as it started, it ended, and your team was heading back to the leaf village, only a days journey away. You would stop around the same area you had the night before, camping for the evening before heading home at daylight. You and Naruto had barely talked the whole way.
That night reminded you of the one when you had first crawled into Naruto’s tent. The wind was roaring making it hard to fall asleep. It was winter this time, however, and you hadn’t accounted for the night being so cold. The clothes you’d chosen to sleep in did nothing to keep in your body’s warmth, and your teeth chattered audibly as you curled into your sleeping bag, back to Naruto.
When your name left his hips, it almost startled you. The two of you had crawled into the tent quietly, not even bothering to say goodnight, the weight of the change in your relationship that you could both feel hanging heavy between you.
“Yeah?” You found yourself saying back, almost too quietly for him to hear. Almost.
“Uh, do you wanna, I dunno, sleep in my sleeping bag with me?” He mumbled, the words coming out fast and bunching together. “It’s just really cold, and I’m afraid that your teeth are going to break from clicking together so hard.” He hoped the joke would make it less weird, that you would feel more comfortable.
The question choked you with something you didn’t have words for, a feeling that bubbled in your stomach, spreading warm and shaky throughout your body.
“Okay.”
You crawled slowly, oh so slowly from your bag to his. He tried to scoot to one side, to make room. He unzipped the bag just a little bit, enough for you to crawl in next to him before he zipped it back up. There wasn’t enough room for you to lay comfortably next to him. Your body was on his just a bit, head by his chest and your arms pressed tightly to your side. You felt frozen with excitement and nerves. This was as close to a boy as you’d ever been.
The silence seemed to go on forever, but it was just a few seconds. Naruto’s arm had been pressed motionless to his sides, but slowly he felt them thaw before wrapping around your body, pressing you to him.
“You can like, hug me, ya know? Or put your arms on me or something. Just to be more comfortable.”
You nodded, your throat dry as you tried to swallow. You unlatched your arms from your body, a hand going up to rest on his chest. It only took a moment or two to get comfortable, to feel like your body fit perfectly into his. Falling asleep in Naruto’s arms, that was the most comfortable you’d ever slept.
The next morning, there wasn’t an awkwardness. It was something else, something sweeter, shyer. The string pulled your fingers closer, and though your hand didn’t touch his, neither did it pull away. You’d never felt so giddy in your life.
If only you knew what it meant to Naruto.
Naruto couldn’t remember one time in his life that he had cuddled with another person. He was sure that he must’ve been held at least occasionally as a baby, but it wasn’t anything he could remember. No one hugged him as he grew, no one tucked him in at night or rocked him to sleep. Once, when he was four, Naruto had found a puppy that got away from its owner. Naruto scooped the small animal up, holding him in his arms. The puppy had licked him affectionately, and Naruto was embarrassed by the fact that the small action had brought him to tears. Iruka’s hand on his head was the first affectionate touch he could remember from another person. He’d thought his heart would burst at that moment. It was nothing compared to what he’d felt getting to hold you while he slept.
He’d heard people say that hugging could lower stress, elevate your mood, even help prevent you from getting sick. He’d never understood it. Naruto had occasionally hugged Sakura and gotten affectionate touches from his sensei as he got older, but sleeping with you was different.
He understood now what the experts meant when they spoke about the benefits of hugging. He could comprehend why romantic relationships were so important to people if they got to touch their partner every day. Cuddling with you that night had Naruto’s head reeling, high off an emotion he didn’t even have a name for. He’d never felt so close to another person, so connected. How had he survived sixteen years without this? How had he survived those two and a half years training without you?
It was a mix of emotions as your head hit your pillow that night. You were relieved to have been able to take a shower. A home cooked meal never tasted so good as it did after a mission where you survived off dried meats. The softness of your mattress definitely beat the cold hard ground. But, you realized, you would gladly spend a lifetime sleeping on the floor of the woods if you got to sleep by Naruto’s side.
It was too scary to think about these new feelings. You knew what it was now, that you didn’t just see Naruto as your best friend. You liked Naruto. Maybe even more than liked him. You didn’t know how this could have happened. How could you ever face him again? If he knew how you felt, your friendship would be ruined.
You had resolved to avoid him for the foreseeable future so that you could wait out the feelings. Maybe if you had some time apart, the feelings would go away, and nothing would have to change between the two of you.
Your eyes had finally started to flutter closed with exhaustion when you heard tapping on your window, startling you. Sitting up, you looked uncertainly towards the window before finally getting up and going to inspect the noise. Naruto’s face peering back at you from the other side was the last thing you expected to see.
Opening the window as quietly as you could, you willed the butterflies in your stomach to quell. “Naruto, what are you doing here?” You whispered, glancing back towards your bedroom door, sure that your parents would burst through at any moment.
Naruto looked sheepishly back at you, a bashful grin on his face. “Sorry, did I wake you?” He asked. Rolling your eyes, you did your best to bite back the giddy smile playing on your own lips.
“Yes, Naruto. I’m trying to sleep. What are you doing here?” You asked him again. Instead of answering, Naruto began climbing through your window, making a little too much noise. You shushed him with a stifled giggle as he fell to the floor. “You’re going to wake my parents,” You told him, trying to look stern. Naruto hopped back up to his feet looking at you embarrassedly.
“I couldn’t sleep…” He admitted, his eyes flickering from yours back to the floor. “I was wondering… Do you think I could sleep here tonight?”
The question hung between the two of you, innocent and unassuming. It wasn’t that weird, the two of you were thinking. You shared a tent on missions; was it that different sharing a bed?
“Yeah, okay.” You agreed, feeling breathless. Naruto was in his pajamas too, you realized, decked in a white t shirt and orange sweats. You turned from him, walking slowly to your bed, doing your best not to make any noise. “You have to leave before my parents are up, okay?” You whispered as you climbed back into your bed.
Naruto nodded enthusiastically, following after you. “I will, believe it!” He said a little too loudly for someone that wasn’t supposed to be there. You shot him a look, though you couldn’t help but smile.
Climbing into the bed after you, Naruto got comfortable under the covers, and the two of you laid next to each other silently. Staring at the ceiling, you wondered if Naruto could hear the sound of your heartbeat as it rang in your ears. This was fine. This was normal for two best friends.
You weren’t sure how long you laid there, more awake than you had been before. You closed your eyes, doing your best to get some rest and failing miserably. You were too aware of Naruto’s presence beside you. He seemed to have fallen asleep long ago if his rhythmic breathing was anything to go by.
And then, suddenly, you felt him rolling over. His hand reached out in the darkness, finding you and pulling you flush against his chest. His arms wrapped around you, holding you to him before his body went still again. You froze, looking up at his face. Was he awake? Had he meant to do that? It was impossible to tell with his eyes screwed shut.
You felt alive, truly alive, for the first time in your life. Nothing had ever felt so right.
The next morning, as promised, Naruto was back out the window before your parents woke up. The two of you had stayed in that position all night, and when Naruto began to shift awake, he looked at you with a shy, lopsided smile. All he said was a quiet “good morning” before he was sneaking out.
And there was no way to hide now that things had definitely changed. It was unspoken, but you both knew it. Neither of you knew what to say about it, didn’t know if you even should say anything about it. It wasn’t bad. It was good, better than good, but so new and unexplored for the both of you that you didn’t know how to approach the subject, so you said nothing about it.
It became a regular occurrence for Naruto to climb through your window every night to sleep in your bed. Each time he did, it became easier for Naruto to pull you into him as he fell asleep, and every morning when he left, you wondered how you had ever slept without Naruto’s arms around you.
All of your friends noticed the change between you and Naruto too, though no one said anything. They all exchanged curious glances with each other, seeing how easily Naruto touched you now and the way the two of you looked at each other just a little bit longer than you used to. But no one knew about your and Naruto’s extended sleepover, and so they all whispered among themselves, but said nothing about it to your faces.
When your parents decided to move back to the village that you had been born in, they gave you the option to stay in the leaf. You were only sixteen, but you were a ninja afterall. You were more than capable of making your own choices and taking care of yourself.
And of course you stayed. This was where your life was, where your friends were. Even more importantly, this was where Naruto was.
So when you told him your predicament, that you needed to find a new place to stay, he didn’t hesitate in offering to stay with him. You were sitting at his kitchen table when he said it, and he immediately began pushing things around the small apartment. “You see? We can put your bed here, and can move this over here…” He motioned to the space he had created. “It may be a little cramped, but at least until you can find something else?”
Of course your friends teased the two of you about your new living arrangements. Never when you were together. Everyone was insistent, desperate to be the one that got one of you to cave and admit your feelings for each other. For your part, you just smiled and said, “He’s my best friend.”
And that flew for a while. The same people that had been sure you and Naruto were meant to be began to wonder if they had it wrong all along, began to wonder if you and Naruto truly were just friends.
They didn’t know that you never got around to getting your own bed at Naruto’s house. That first night, you just shared his bed because you’d been doing it for so long. The same thing happened the next night, and the night after that, and the thought of getting a separate bed just didn’t seem that important. And anyways, you’d gotten used to sleeping by Naruto’s side. Naruto knew that if you got your own bed, he would just climb into yours every night.
You were only sixteen, but Naruto wanted nothing more than to spend every night by your side. He couldn’t remember a time in his life where he’d ever been so happy. There was so much on his mind all the time, the oncoming war, getting Sasuke back. And even with the chaos surrounding him, Naruto was at peace because of you. He had a confidence that everything would work out okay. He couldn’t imagine a scenario in which it wouldn’t.
It was the first time that Sakura and Ino had stopped by since you’d moved in that it was pointed out how unconventional your arrangement was. Sure, you both knew it wasn’t exactly normal, but it worked for the two of you. You didn’t see any harm in it.
Naruto was away on a mission when the girls had stopped by, needing to borrow something. When you let them in, they excitedly looked around the small studio apartment, wanting to see if and how you had changed Naruto’s place.
“Uh, where’s the other bed?” Sakura asked as you closed a cupboard, pulling out the tupperware they needed.
“Hm?” You asked, placing it on the table. “Oh, I haven’t gotten one yet. We usually just share.” You said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world. You’d shared your bed with Naruto so long, it no longer embarrassed you. You’d just never had a reason to mention it.
Sakura and Ino’s jaws dropped. They looked from you to each other, wondering if you were serious. You picked up on their shock, looking back at them sheepishly. “What?” You mumbled, feeling your face heating up.
“Are you guys, like, dating?” Ino placed her hand on her hip, looking at you expectedly. You shook your head.
“No, of course not. He’s my best friend! I just haven’t gotten my own bed yet. It’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal!?” Sakura exclaimed. “It’s a huge deal! You guys live together, share a bed together… you’re practically married!”
Ino nodded in agreement. “Sakura’s right. That’s a weird thing for two ‘best friends’ to be doing. It’s not normal.”
Sakura and Ino’s words rang through your head all day after they’d gone. Was it that weird? Sure, the whole thing had been nerve wracking at first, but now it was just part of your dynamic like everything else was. Of course you still harbored your feelings for Naruto, but you’d pushed them deep down, pretending they weren’t there in a bid to save your and Naruto’s friendship.
You were already in bed when he got back from his mission that night. He threw open the door, dropping his bag and sighing loudly. “Are you awake?” He called as he made his way to the bathroom.
“I am now,” You laughed, rolling your eyes as you heard the shower start. You yawned, your body tired despite how awake your mind was. It was a while longer before Naruto was finally ready to settle in for the night.
With a loud yawn, he dropped down on the bed beside you, stretching. “I missed this,” he said, turning over as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. He reached for you instinctively, a happy sigh leaving his lips as you cuddled into his chest.
But Naruto knew you better than anyone, and he could tell something was on your mind. “Everything okay?” He murmured against your hair, moments from falling asleep.
“Is this weird?” You asked him timidly, afraid to hear his answer.
Naruto froze for a moment before pulling away slightly, just enough so he could look down at you. “Is what weird?” He asked back slowly.
You shrugged. “Sakura and Ino stopped by today. They saw we share a bed and… I don’t know. They said it wasn’t normal.” You were afraid to voice the thought, but you couldn’t help it. The seed had been planted, and it wouldn’t stop growing.
But Naruto just rolled his eyes in response. “You’re gonna listen to them?” He asked with a small laugh. “What do they know about normal?”
“They said it was only normal for people that were, like, in a relationship. Not people that were just friends…”
Naruto was quiet, and you could tell he was mulling over the information, no doubt wondering--much like you were--if they had a point. He pulled away even more, and you could see in the moonlight that he was blushing. “Are we just friends?”
The words hit you like a freight train, knocking the breath straight from your lungs. You weren’t ready for this conversation. Things had been going so well, you’d been so happy and comfortable. You weren’t ready for things between you and Naruto to change, not yet. But now you didn’t have a choice.
“Do you want to be?” You whispered back.
The silence lingered, heavy and suffocating. You felt ready to cry. You loved Naruto. You didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer, but you didn’t want to lose him either. If he didn’t feel the same way… You didn’t know what you’d do. You couldn’t think of anything any more devastating.
Reluctantly, you brought your eyes up to meet Naruto’s brilliant blue ones. They were staring earnestly into yours, searching for an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked. Slowly, shakily, he brought his hand up to your face, brushing your hair back. His touch was soft, barely there, and it sent shivers up your spine.
Finally, he leaned in to you, bringing his lips to brush against yours in a sweet, shy kiss. The motion was unsure, nervous. He’d been dying to do that for months now, and he had no idea how you would react.
Naruto’s kiss sent your head reeling. You’d always thought that kissing Naruto would send your heart racing, but instead it slowed, calming every nerve in your body.
When Naruto pulled away, he was wearing a grin that matched yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” He told you, stroking your cheek. You could only smile in response, pulling him in to kiss you once more
Naruto had gone his whole life touch starved and alone. Affection was so scarce, he hadn’t even known what he was missing.
Sharing a bed, sleeping next to you, kissing you goodnight. It wasn’t scary or unsure.
It felt like coming home.
#naruto#naruto uzumaki#naruto imagine#naruto imagines#naruto uzumaki imagine#naruto uzumaki imagines#naruto headcanon#naruto canons#naruto hc#naruto uzumaki headcanon#naruto uzumaki headcanons#naruto uzumaki hc#naruto x reader#naruto uzumaki x reader#naruto fanfiction#naruto uzumaki fanfiction
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(Perfect artwork for Modern Love, by @cambiodipolvere)
Today is the day of one of my favorite people! And I totally resent @tackytigerfic and Starry for almost sharing the same birthday, god the STRESS 😂 Tacky is my first and closest fandom friend. We clicked together so fast and easy that sometimes it feels like I’ve known her all my life, like we’re two dog moms living in the same neighborhood who happen to read fic in their free time. Despite our conflicting time zones and crazy schedules we manage to chat every other day, tagging and sending each other all kinds of stuff, coming together to cry scream about a brilliant fic we’ve just read or shaking our heads in embarrassment at every other unnecessary bullshit post. Tacky’s bright and wise energy uplifts my spirit even on my moody days, and makes me grateful for her friendship and for this fandom life. Okay so this got long and I had to put the rest under the cut:
It’s such a lovely and precious thing, to have someone with whom you can share every single thought that crosses your mind, your scariest, most embarrassing, petty or disturbing idea, without fear of being shamed or judged by it. I trust Tacky with all my heart to hear me out, share a joke or a piece of advice, even on the (rare) occasions when we don’t get the same perspective - that doesn’t happen often when it comes to Drarry, as we are taste twins!
Tacky my darling, you’re such a good person, and such an incredible friend. Thank you for introducing me to this lovely community, for being my safe haven and your unique self, with so many qualities I admire and feel inspired by: kind, witty, earnest, wise, and so very human. I love your humour and empathy, and your chill yet no-nonsense personality; I love your talent and how articulated you are; I love your passion for Drarry, and how you let this emotion inform the way you navigate the fandom and create for it. And god, but you’ve been creating some of the most beautiful content I’ve seen in these recent years! I’m permanently in awe of your ability to write Drarry in any shape, format or length, transforming even the most ordinary moment into an extraordinary and meaningful piece of character or relationship development. You know how you mentioned yesterday that some authors change the way you feel about a ship in a deep, definitive way? Well, you are that author for me. Your works made me fall in love with M-rated contemplative romance, and also allowed me to fall in love with Harry in a way I never thought it was possible before.
Some people - myself included - got to know you through the fun and intriguing A Lick and a Promise, others through the atmospheric and sensitive Modern Love, others through your contemplative and heartbreaking short form. Each story has its merits and purpose, and all of them share a Tacky trademark: the heartkick factor! Your talent has no limits and goes across different genres and tropes, that you explore with a bold twist full of personality and heart. And even more impressive is your consistency at always raising the bar - every new fic of yours becomes an instant fave and makes me think “wow I thought Tacky couldn’t get better yet here we are”. Seeing how your writing evolves as you find your narrative voice is a beautiful and humbling experience, I feel so lucky!
I’m really grateful for being active in the fandom at this moment in time, because that allows me to read and engage with your brilliant work, and to have you as a dear friend. I can’t wait to see what comes out of your beautiful brain next. It was an impossible job choosing a single fic to rec today, so I decided to do a belated Tacky reclist! Naturally these are my personal and biased must-reads, and I urge everyone to go check these beauties right now. Feel free to include your own favorites too, and don’t forget to leave them some appreciation.
Happy happy birthday my darling Tacky! This fandom life wouldn’t be the same without you. I hope you have the amazing day you deserve!
Between the Power Lines (2020, M, 3.2k)
The road trip fic you didn’t know you needed. I got utterly immersed in the heartbreaking quietness of this, feeling like a witness to an ordinary yet poignant love story. Such tender intimacy, such character development, such lovely American aesthetics with barely any dialogue. This is, IMO, the fic that reveals Tacky’s triumph in storytelling.
Even the Night (2020, M, 3.4k)
This fic has a surreal atmosphere, those Midsummer vibes unbelievably sexy and intoxicating linked to the sensorial experience of fumbling together in the night. Masterclass in tension building, a silky and languid dream-like affair.
Aim for my Heart (2021, M, 3.4k) - Harry/Draco/Ron
One of the most sensitive and stunning portraits I’ve ever seen of a poly/triad relationship, this fic packs so much character and longing! It’s a privilege to watch Ron and Draco’s tentative dynamics through the smitten eyes of the one person that loves them like no one else: Harry.
The Long Fall (2021, M, 3.6k)
I can’t even write about this tender domesticity without getting a lump in my throat. Best opening scene I’ve read in years, and a refreshing way to approach both mpreg and parenthood, painfully honest and lovely. This became an immediate comfort read for me, and it’s probably one of the fics I revisit the most.
Mortal Frame (2021, M, 6.6k)
This thrilling, fast-paced spy story left me breathless since the first paragraph, gods what an immersive ride! I’m so here for Drarry on the run, sharp and urgent with danger but mellowed by the silent trust and tender intimacy only Tacky can master. Major bonus points for the brilliant take on the Horcrux hunt plot line!
Last Offices (2020, M, 6.7k)
Oh, this fic 💔 I tend to avoid MCD but there’s something so deeply fascinating about body washing rituals that I caught myself mesmerized by this. I just couldn’t put it down, so emotionally compromised I felt. There’s a sort of strange comfort in the heartbreak of doing one last act of service out of devotion to someone. This fic inspired so many difficult but lovely feelings in me, and one of them was hope. Only Tacky could possibly achieve that!
Our Little Life (2020, M, 7.2k)
Inventive and singular, this story hit me straight on the solar plexus and left me speechless as I saw the (clever, magical and bittersweet) plot unravel. Such a fabulous take on alternate universes and all the angst potential behind it. Come and bask in the yearning melancholia of a short yet intricate and perfectly executed plot.
And One to Play (2019, E, 21k)
What a fun and delightful fic, I can’t have enough of pining Harry losing all sense of propriety when faced with a hot, competent and pragmatic Draco. This has fab dynamics, unhinged protectiveness, even more unhinged attraction between two idiots who can’t keep their hands off each other. A must-read for any Auror partners fan!
A Lick and a Promise (2019, E, 55k)
Hot, BAMF Professors carefully balancing a fuck buddies situation while solving a Hogwarts mystery, do we need anything else? I certainly do not. This fic is so fun and intriguing and immersive, with amazing supportive cast and a delicious get together feat secret shagging and oblivious pining. Love it!
Modern Love (2020, E, 61k)
My favorite read of 2020, this fic is a love letter to Drarry and will always hold a piece of my soul. Sensitive, wistful, tenderly aching and so very romantic, this is a Muggle Draco triumph with a superb Harry, exquisite slow burn and a side of suds comfort. I promise it will be impossible to listen to Bowie again without thinking of this love story.
Bonus: five stunning drabbles!
Something in the Way (2021, T, 119 words)
“Up,” he said, and Draco, sick with love, raised his arms above his head and allowed Potter to slide the jumper on him, big hands stroking it flat over Draco’s stomach until they both shivered.
Stir-Up Sunday (2020, M, 300 words)
“I want you always,” he said, tugging again on the fine curling length of it. “Is it okay to say that?”
Whalebone Arch (2021, M, 722 words)
“Are you still not talking to me?” Draco steered Harry towards the crisps. “Do I have to suck you off in the loo to cheer you up?”
Semiplume (2021, T, 923 words)
“Did you know,” Harry murmured, and he put his arms around Draco, fearless. “I’d be your mate. If you needed a mate, I mean.”
Relic Radiation (2021, M, 927 words)
“You’ll kill me,” Harry said, and Draco turned his face towards the darkened sky, lunar pale, his profile some stupid unearthly thing—a flaring blazar, a supernova—in the light from the kitchen window.
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Stupid Game (A Halstead brothers + Halstead! sister imagine)
If you've read Someone I Used to Know by Patty Blount, you'll understand where I drew the inspiration from. Warning: includes sexual harassment and threats of sexual assault.
Fifteen days. Fifteen days left of this stupid and terrifying game. You could get through fifteen more days of their stupid game, after all, you were already halfway through. But, seeing as it was halfway done, they'd start to get more desperate. You needed something on you, anything. Pepperspray, mace, a knife, a razor blade--
"Y/N," you were snapped out of your thoughts by your brother, Jay, saying your name. "What are you doing up? I thought you had online first block today?" he asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee and grabbed a box of cereal from the cupboard.
"I do," you answered, stirring the peanut butter into your oatmeal once more. "Just wanted to get up and get some math homework done," you lied.
"You didn't do it last night?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow at you as he sat down across from you.
"I know, I should've done it. But I was frustrated that I couldn't figure it out and figured maybe looking at it in the morning with fresh eyes would help."
"Fair enough."
"You're not mad I procrastinated?" That was one thing both he and Will agreed on when it came to you and school: procrastinating and not getting your assignments done was unacceptable. They said they didn't care about grades as long as you didn't fail-- and you weren't, you were getting all A's and B's-- but they did care about you trying your absolute best.
Jay shook his head. "No, sounds like you got it all figured out." He looked at his watch. "I gotta go. I'm gonna be late. See you when I get home."
Jay stood up and put his bowl and mug into the dishwasher. "Will you be home for dinner?" you asked...which was really code for if he was going to cook or if you were fending for yourself.
"I don't know. We don't have an ongoing case, so depends on today's case." You opened your mouth to ask if you could order takeout when he stopped you. "And, yes, you can get takeout. I just expect the receipt and change."
"I know, I know. Now, go save Chicago," you said, shooing him out the door.
"It's a team effort," he replied.
"Yeah, yeah. Say hi to Hailey for me."
"Will do!" he yelled to you over his shoulder.
You waited another five minutes until you knew that Jay wasn't coming back before starting your mission. You went into Jay's room and opened his closet. After peering at all the shelves, you had almost given up, when a piece of cardboard on the top shelf caught your eye.
"Gonna need a chair for this," you mumbled and then made your way back into the kitchen and dragged a chair into Jay's room.
After moving a few things, you pulled the box down and set it on the floor. "What are you hiding in here, Jay?" you asked yourself, having never seen this box. You knew it was Jay's though because J. Halstead was written on the side in black permanent marker.
Slowly, you opened the box, as if scared something was going to jump out at you or Jay was miraculously going to appear and tell you not to open it. But, neither of those two things happened.
"Holy shit," you muttered as you opened the box. You thought this stuff was stored away in a storage locker, but it was here all along.
Inside the box was Jay's military uniform, all folded up, along with his dog tags and a few pictures from his time overseas. You felt like you were looking at one of Jay's most intimate secrets, just by looking at this stuff. You wondered who in those pictures came home and who didn't. There was also a small leather journal, and tied to the side of it was a knife.
You picked up the journal and untied the knife from it. You'd be lying if you said that opening the journal and reading it hadn't crossed your mind. But, you viewed your brother as a war hero, and if there was anything in there that would change that view, you didn't want to know. You also knew he had seen some horrific things over there, not that he had ever given you any specific details on the missions, you just knew because of how hard some cases hit him, especially kid cases.
So, you placed everything back into the box just like you found it and put it back on the shelf. Except for the knife, that you kept.
It felt heavy in your hands. The red handle was faded, probably from all the sand that had rubbed against it overseas. You ran a finger over the blade, a little dull from not being sharpened in all these years.
You jumped as your phone alarm went off, alerting you that you had half an hour before you had to leave. You turned it off and placed the knife in your pocket. Then, you dragged the chair back to the kitchen and continued to get ready for school, the extra protection you now had would make you feel more protected for these next fifteen days, that you were sure of.
With the knife safely placed in your backpack half an hour later, you headed off to school.
***
Jay furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at his phone. Your school was calling him, which was odd. The only reason he thought that they'd be calling was that you didn't show up, you weren't a troublemaker like he was when he was in high school. The stakes were higher now, so you couldn't afford to mess up.
"Sarge, I gotta take this. It's Y/N's school," he said and then proceeded to walk to an interrogation room for some privacy in case the call was serious.
"Jay Halstead," Jay said as he answered.
"Mr. Halstead this is Ben White, principal of Central Chicago High School. I have Y/N in my office right now and I would appreciate it if you could come down here."
"Is she in trouble?" Jay asked, knowing if it were anything other than that, he would have told him.
There was a pause on the other end of the line as the principal tried to figure out what to say. "Somewhat. I'll explain more in person."
"Okay, thank you. I'll be there in twenty minutes."
He hung up the phone and exited the interrogation room and went back into the bullpen to grab his keys and coat.
"Everything okay?" Voight asked.
"Not really. Y/N got in trouble at school, so I gotta go talk to her principal."
"What'd she do?" Kevin asked.
"Don't know yet, said he'll explain when I get there."
"Just don't be too hard on her. She's a good kid, Jay."
"I know, which is why I'm shocked that she's in trouble at all."
Hailey placed a hand on his shoulder. "Just call me if you need anything, okay?"
"Okay."
***
When Jay walked into the principal's office, it was just like he remembered it from when he was in trouble in high school. Most of his were for a few fistfights at lunch or just not doing his homework. Hell, when he looked at you, you were in the same position he was always in whenever your guys' mom or dad had to come to pick him up: hands in your lap, head down, and eyes trained on the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
"Mr. Halstead, take a seat," Mr. White motioned for him to sit in the other empty seat facing his desk.
"Please, call me Jay. Mr. Halstead's my father. Now, what's this about?" he asked, looking between you and the principal to see which one of you would be the one to tell him.
"Well, as you know we have a very strict no-weapons policy at the school. And, well, your sister, this fell out of her locker."
At this, you looked up, wanting to gauge Jay's reaction. Something flashed across his eyes for a moment, and then anger took over a few seconds later. "A knife? Really? And my Ranger's knife at that?"
"I'm sorry," you mumbled. But, you couldn't tell him what was going on. After all, it's not like the school would do anything about it, which wasn't for lack of trying because oh people had tried alright.
Jay took a deep breath, not wanting to blow up at you in front of anyone. "Why do you even have it?"
When you didn't answer him, he turned to your principal. "She said that she was snooping through your stuff, and she found the knife, thought it was cool, and wanted to show it to her friends."
Now, snooping, Jay could see. But showing a knife to your friends? Even having a remote interest in any type of weapon? Well, that just wasn't you and you both knew that. But, he knew you wouldn't tell him the real reason unless you were alone, even then it was a long shot.
"I see," Jay nodded. "Let's not beat around the bush here. What kind of trouble is she in?"
"Well, typically we have to call the cops on this type of stuff, but I figured since you were a cop, that this would do. Typically, there's also a three to five day suspension that comes with these things, but seeing everything she's gone through in the past years and that she has outstanding grades and never has even had a detention, I'm going to let her off with a warning. She just has to go home for the rest of the day," Mr. White answered.
"And this won't be on her record?" Jay asked.
"This won't be on her record," Mr. White confirmed.
"What do you say, Y/N?" Jay asked.
"I'm sorry," you apologized, looking up once again.
"And?"
"And it won't happen again." Jay cleared his throat, telling you that you forgot something. "Sir," you added quickly.
It was always something your dad had taught Jay and Will when they got in trouble, that they had to use either sir or ma'am in the apology. Up until today, you never had to use it, but here you were. There's a first time for everything.
"I'm sure it won't," Mr. White said.
"I'm gonna go get my stuff," you said to Jay before leaving the principal's office.
Jay rubbed a hand down his face and sighed. Then, he turned back to Ben White. "I'm really sorry about this. I don't know why she'd do anything like this. This isn't like her--"
"Jay, she's been through a lot," he sympathized. "She's probably just acting out. Every teenager goes through that. We both know you did."
Mr. White was a young teacher back when Jay and Will were in high school, and he got to see some of Jay's fights first hand. He even had to rip him off a kid once in the cafeteria.
"Hey, they were always for good reasons...And, I always won."
"Now that you're not a student anymore, I can agree with that statement." He heard the door to the main office open. "Just, don't be too hard on her, okay?"
Jay nodded and stood up and left the office. Now he had to deal with his sister and try to figure out what was actually the real cause of this.
***
You started to run up the stairs but were stopped quickly by Jay's stern voice. "No, come back down here. We're going to talk about this."
You sighed, knowing you were going to be in deep shit from him since you got nothing from the school. You handed him your phone, but surprisingly, he handed it back to you.
"I get to keep my phone?"
"You do, but that's only because I'm letting you drive to and from school and that's it. You go to school and you come straight home. No stopping for coffee, donuts, fries, nothing. I need you to have your phone on you in case you get in an accident." You nodded, knowing his logic was sound.
"How long?"
"Three weeks."
"Jay! But homecoming's in two and a half! And I'm going dress shopping with Emma this weekend!"
"Should've thought of that before you brought a knife to school, my military knife at that. Why were you looking through my stuff anyway?"
"Just curious, I guess." It was a lie and you both knew it.
"That's not the truth. What's going on? Come on, you know you can tell me."
Not this I can't. But, you didn't say that. "That is the truth, Jay. Now, how am I going to get my homecoming dress?"
"You don't need a dress if you're not going to the dance."
"You can't keep this from me--"
"Yes, yes I can. If it was detention for tardies or a failed test or hell, even a fight, this wouldn't be happening. But you brought a knife to school. Not only is that against school rules, but it's against the law. What you did was illegal, Y/N."
"I know and I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't cut it this time, not with this. But, if you want to get a dress and go to the dance, maybe doing some extra chores can get you that."
"So, I don't have to tell Emma I can't come this weekend?" you asked, hopefully.
"Not what I said. You still can't go with Emma. If you earn back that privilege, Hailey can take you."
"But, Jay--"
"No buts. I put the offer on the table and I can just as easily take it off."
"Uh, fine."
"Now, I know you have classwork from the classes you missed today, so get to it. And, don't think I won't be telling Will about this."
***
You jolted awake from your sleep. Must've just been a nightmare, you thought. A really loud nightmare.
"You bastard!" you heard Jay yell.
Okay, so not a nightmare.
"Get away from him!"
Him? Who else was in the house besides you and Jay?
If it was serious, you knew Jay would have come to wake you up to get you out of the house or yelled your name by now. Slowly, you stood up and grabbed your phone. Then, you exited your room and walked across the hall to Jay's.
You heard more yelling and tossing and turning as you stood outside his door. After taking a deep breath, you slowly turned the knob and walked into his room.
When you saw the way Jay looked, you instantly knew what this was. "Let him go and no one gets hurt!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
Jay turned towards you as if he had heard a noise in his nightmare which caused him to abruptly turn. His eyes were moving rapidly beneath his eyelids and his face was dripping sweat.
Luckily, he started to calm down. His breathing started to slow and he hadn't yelled for over a minute.
"Jay," you whispered, taking a step closer to him. "Jay. Jay Halstead," you repeated, this time a little louder.
Nothing. You took a risk and touched his shoulder. "Bastard!" he yelled, throwing a punch which caused you to jump back, his fist narrowly missing your face.
Now it was his as well as your breathing that was coming out jagged.
You couldn't wake him up. You couldn't risk touching him again.
Jay yelled out again, causing you to jump and run out of his room.
You pulled out your phone and dialed the familiar number, hoping that he hadn't gotten called into work.
"Hmmm, hello?" your oldest brother's voice came through your phone, thick with sleep.
"Will, I need you. Please come over."
"Y/N? What's wrong?" He immediately sat up in bed upon hearing the worry in your voice.
"Jay's he's having a nightmare and I can't wake him up and--"
Yelling could be heard in the background and Will cut you off. "Is that him?"
"Yeah." The next part, you said quieter. You knew it wasn't Jay's fault this was happening, but it didn't make your feelings any less valid. "Will, I'm scared."
You heard a door close on Will's end. "It's okay. I don't think he's ever sleep-walked from a nightmare. Just, whatever you do, do not touch him. Understand?"
"Yes." More screaming. "Please, just hurry."
You don't know how you got through those fifteen minutes without completely breaking down. And, in those fifteen minutes, it had gone from yelling to hearing a few things slam to the ground. You assumed it was just things on Jay's bedside table, like his alarm clock, water bottle, and phone that had fallen from him trying to throw punches every which way, but you were too scared to check. What if he was up and standing and could throw things at you? You couldn't do that.
The sight Will saw when he unlocked the door and walked into the house completely broke his heart. You were sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket with your feet tucked under you, and silent tears were streaming down your face. If Will hadn't known any better, he would have thought you were making yourself as small as possible as if to disappear.
Will knelt down in front of you so that he was at eye level with you. "Hey, has it gotten worse?" You didn't look at him and that was all the confirmation Will needed.
You let out a deep shaky sob, finally feeling like it was safe for you to make noise again. Will took that opportunity to envelop you in a hug. "It's okay. It's okay. He can't hurt you. It's not him that's doing this. He doesn't know he's home."
"I know he thinks he's in Afghanistan, but he, Will, he almost, if I didn't..." you trailed off, not knowing how to tell your brother that Jay had almost hit you.
"What did he almost do, Y/N? You know he'll want all the details when he wakes up, so just tell me. I promise I won't be mad at him."
You took a deep breath. "He almost hit me, Will. I touched his shoulder and he just swung and--"
"Did I or did I not tell you not to touch him?"
"This was before I called you."
There was another crash and you whimpered. Will gave you one last squeeze and stood up. "Whatever you do, do not follow me, Y/N. I don't want you to see this."
You nodded and tugged your blanket tighter around you as if that was even possible.
The ice was melting in Will's hands as he walked towards Jay's bedroom. He could hear yelling, well, they were more like loud sobs at this point. The floor next to his bed was covered in things that fell from his bedside table: his alarm clock, water bottle, phone, the lamp...which luckily hadn't been on and the bulb hadn't broken.
"Now or never," Will muttered to himself as he stepped towards his younger brother. Then, he flung the ice out in front of him, causing it to land on Jay, and jumped back as fast as possible.
"You bastard! Fuck!" Jay's eyes shot open, drinking in his surroundings.
"Jay," Will said, quietly alerting his brother of his presence before placing his hand on his shoulder. "You're home, in Chicago, you're safe." Noticing that Jay's breathing hadn't yet slowed, Will overexaggerated his inhales and exhales. "Breathe with me. In...Out...In...Out...Good..." And so they continued that until Jay no longer needed Will to guide him through his breathing.
"What happened?" he asked, looking to where his things were strewn on the floor.
"Y/N called me. You were screaming and she tried to wake you up, but couldn't."
Jay's eyes widened. "Oh, God. I didn't...Please tell me I didn't hurt her, Will."
"No, but you did come close. She said she touched your shoulder and you just swung. She jumped out the way, though."
"Oh, God. I almost hit her, Will. Fuck. I'm a horrible brother."
Will sat done next to his brother, despite his sheets being all sweaty. "You are not a horrible brother, far from it. She knows it wasn't you that was doing this. Your mind was somewhere else. Now, do you wanna tell me what happened?"
"It was, it was all because of that damn knife. I don't know why I even kept it in the first place, Will."
"You kept telling someone to let go of him and called someone a bastard. Who?"
"I- There was this kid. His dad was gonna kill him and put a gun to his head. I tried, but I couldn't, I couldn't..." Jay let out a strangled sob and wiped the tears that ran down his face.
Will started to run a hand up and down his back, something he learned long ago that soothed Jay after nights like these. "And the knife?"
"I used that to kill the boy's father. I should have just gotten rid of it when I had the chance."
"Jay, I'm sorry all of this got dug up."
"Yeah, me too. I'm not proud of the man I was back then. I thought I was over this."
"It's okay to fall apart sometimes."
Jay nodded, even though he hated when it happened because the bigger they are, the harder they fall. He bottles up all his emotions that when he finally falls apart, he explodes.
"I think Y/N would want to know you're okay," Will suggested.
You were still in the same position you had been in when Will left you when you heard footsteps approaching you and looked up. Jay's eyes were bloodshot and it was clear as day that he had been crying. You felt the couch dip as Jay sat next to you.
"I'm sorry," Jay said. Slowly, as if not to scare you, he wrapped an arm around your blanket-covered body.
"You scared me," you whispered.
"I know. Will told me. I'm so sorry." He scanned your face, making sure that Will wasn't lying to him when he had told him that he hadn't hit you. "I just need you to know that what you saw, that wasn't me, Y/N. It was my mind bringing me back to a very dark place. I would never, ever, ever knowingly scream at you like that or lay a hand on you."
"I know. You didn't even yell that bad with everything that happened at school today. But, it's all my fault."
"Y/N, look at me." You looked up, your eyes red-rimmed from all the crying. "None of this is your fault. Yes, seeing that knife triggered me. But, I could've just as easily seen it if the box fell over and the knife fell out."
You knew what he was getting at. He was trying to assure you that you and the knife were not what triggered him. It was the knife and the knife only.
"Can Will spend the night?" you asked, knowing that if it happened again, you wouldn't be alone when dealing with it.
"Of course. Now, go back to bed. You've got school tomorrow."
You nodded and stood up, knowing he was right. It was currently 3:30 in the morning and you had been up for an hour and a half and you needed to be awake by 6:00. And, you knew that you needed your focus to be razor sharp at school now that you didn't have any protection.
"Goodnight. I love you guys."
***
The weekend had come and gone and now it was Monday. As much as you hated Mondays, the ones before homecoming were becoming increasingly worse. Everything was fine until you had walked out of school, keys in hand.
"What the fuck?" you yelled as you were slammed into the side of your car, your cheek hitting the window hard.
Then, you felt a hand squeeze your butt. "Fifty points," he whispered in your ear.
Tears sprung to your eyes as you felt his hand reach for your keys. "Get the fuck away from her, Evans!"
Then, you felt him being ripped off of you, by none other than Jordan Atwater.
"Whatever," Derek Evans grumbled as he shrugged Jordan's hands off him. "I got fifty points and she just went from 200 to 250 for the rest of it." Then, he walked away and Jordan was quickly at your side.
"Are you okay?"
"No," you sniffled.
"Here, let me take you home, and then we can tell Kevin and Jay and they can come get your car."
"No! They can't know about this Jordan and you know that!"
"Y/N, he just did that forcibly and they just increased the point value for..." he trailed off, not wanting to say the disgusting words.
"Jordan, I'm fine. I can handle this."
"Fucking hell, Y/N. Do you know what I heard rumors about in the locker room?" You shook your head, not wanting to know at all, but knowing Jordan would tell you anyway. "He was planning on taking your keys so that you'd have to go with him. Some other guys were planning on following you home tomorrow."
"I can't- I don't know what to do, Jordan. It used to just be a stupid game, but now it's this and- fuck."
"I know, I know. Listen, how about I check on you after practice to make sure no one comes over?"
"Jay grounded me. I'll just get in more trouble if you come over."
"What'd you do?"
"Just something stupid," you answered. You knew that if you told him about the knife, he would most definitely tell Kevin.
He raised an eyebrow at you, but let your lie slide. "You're telling Jay tonight or so help me God, I am telling Kevin tomorrow before school."
"Can I just come over to your house?" you muttered.
Somehow, he heard you. "I thought you said Jay would be mad at you?"
"Then we can tell Kev and if Kev knows first, he can tell Jay because I don't want to be the one to tell him. He'll freak."
"Yeah. Tell you what? I'll pick you up at your house right after practice and then we can go to mine."
"Thanks for having my back, Jordan."
"Hey, that's what friends are for."
***
Jordan sucked in a breath as his phone dinged, alerting him that someone else had posted something on that stupid leaderboard for that stupid game.
"Aren't you gonna get that?" you asked as you sat next to him on the couch, assuming it was a text message notification.
"It's, uh, it's not important."
"If it's a text it's probably important."
Before Jordan even had time to react, you snatched the phone from the table in front of him. But, you quickly regretted your decision as your face paled and tears sprang to your eyes.
"Are they- are they all saying these things about me?" you asked, barely above a whisper as you handed Jordan his phone.
His eyes quickly skimmed the comment on the leaderboard in front of him and he sighed. "I mean, they've said some pretty horrible things, but this is up there with the most disgusting."
"What's most disgusting?" Kevin asked as he walked inside to see you two sitting on the couch, Jordan trying to keep his phone away from you despite you having already seen the comment. "Wait, aren't you grounded, Y/N?"
"Does Jay tell all my business to Intelligence?" you grumbled.
Kevin shrugged as he hung up his jacket. "Pretty much. But really, wat'cha doing here?"
You and Jordan shared a look that didn't go unnoticed by Kevin. "What's going on?"
***
"So you wanted to talk to me first so that I could help you break the news to Jay?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah," you mumbled, shocked by you hadn't broken down yet. It was probably just because you were scared to tell Jay, scared of how he would react to people who were doing this, and scared of how he would react to you not having told him until now.
"Let me call him. I think he still had to finish up some paperwork, so maybe he hasn't noticed that you're gone yet."
Kevin walked away to go talk to Jay in private and Jordan went to the kitchen to grab you both some water. Absentmindedly, you ran your fingers over your cheek, not doubting that there would be a bruise there tomorrow due to how hard Derek shoved you up against your car.
"Need some ice?" Kevin asked, having reentered.
"I'm fine," you quickly said, knowing that Jay and Will would be babying you about your face anyway.
"If you say so."
Jordan returned with the water and slid one to you. "Jay mad?" he asked his older brother.
"I mean, I told him Y/N was over here and that she has something to tell him and to not get mad at her."
"Great, that helps a lot," you replied sarcastically.
"I also told him we might have a case."
"Okay, so he knows it's bad then. I just don't wanna blow this out of proportion--"
"Girl, blow this outta proportion?" Jordan interrupted. "They're planning on assaulting you! I think you can blow this up however much you want!"
"I just don't wanna be the one to start this conversation," you admitted.
"We gotchu, girl, we gotchu," Kevin reassured you.
***
"You better have a good reason why you left the house-- without telling me I might add-- when you're grounded!" That was the first thing Jay yelled as Kevin let him into the house.
"Whoa, calm down, man. She's got a good reason to be here--"
"A good reason? A good reason being that she wanted to hang out with Jordan when I clearly stated that she was to come straight home after school!"
Roughly, he pulled a chair out from under the table to sit down across from you. You stayed staring at the wood of the table, not wanting to look him in the eye. "You have a good reason, Y/N?" he asked smugly. "Then look me in the eye and tell me that reason."
Jordan squeezed your shoulder in reassurance, which gave you the bit of confidence you needed to look your brother in the eyes. "I- there's these points and I was pushed and..." you ran your hands down your face in frustration, trying to stop your tears. "I can't do this."
"Is that a bruise forming on your cheek?" Jay asked as you removed your hands from your face, his eyes immediately softening. You nodded. "Care to elaborate?"
"A football player shoved me up against my car and then he- and then he grabbed my ass."
"Does this football player have a name?" he asked, looking to Jordan because he was on the football team.
"He does, but there's more and I'm gonna tell you that first because I don't think Y/N wants to."
"Thank you," you whispered to Jordan.
"So it's more than just a stupid kid playing grab-ass with my sister?" Jay asked, anger starting to seep out once more.
"There's point values attached to each grab," Jordan started. "Grab a girl, it's usually 50 points. Do some other things with her, there's more depending on what it is. Freshmen are strictly off-limits, so it's Y/N's first year dealing with it."
"How long has it been going on?"
"I think the game started totally five years ago. It happens for a month leading up to homecoming. Anyone on the varsity football team pays $10 to play, and whoever has the most points at the end of the month gets the money.
"And this year, they started a leaderboard online, where you can vote on doing different things. If it gets enough votes, it's up for grabs for points. And well, just take a look."
Jordan slid his open phone to Jay and he scrolled through the website, complete with a leaderboard. He looked at the most recent comments and scrolled to the beginning of the thread.
200 points if you can get the cop's sister to give you oral
Jay swallowed a lump in his throat as he read the title and continued to scroll.
100 for the actual act and another 100 if you get it on video
Deal
Deal
Definitely
Just don't get caught
She's small so it shouldn't be that hard
Think she had a crush on me last year, so this should be a piece of cake. Pay up boys
You're on, Evans
Then, he got to the comments after today's events had occurred.
Grabbed Halstead's ass in the parking lot and was so close to getting her keys, but Atwater stopped me. Buzzkill. It's gettin' close to hoco, so points for her are now up to 250
Eh, I'll just follow her home tomorrow and then get her before her brother gets home
Her lips will probably feel so good wrapped around me
Jay let out a shaky breath as he got to the end of the thread. "You're right, Kev. I think we might have a case on our hands. You wanna go home, Y/N?"
"I'm scared," you said as you looked up at your brother, tears streaming down your face. "What if they come to the house, Jay?"
"Y/N, I promise you that I will never, ever allow that to happen."
***
You were in the shower, but you could still make out the faint sound of Jay's voice. You didn't know who he was talking to, but you assumed it was either Will, Voight, or Hailey.
All the events of the past two weeks came down on you, crushing you like a ton of bricks. You knew this game was going to happen, but what you didn't know was that they going to do that 200, well now 250 points for you. At least, you hadn't known until Jordan told you and begged you to tell someone.
Since the start of this sick, twisted game, you made sure to wear something that always covered your butt, such as a long sweater or hoodie paired with jeans or leggings. But apparently, that didn't stop money-hungry and hormonal teenage boys.
The first time it happened, it was just a quick pinch when you were standing at your locker, nothing too alarming. Hell, you hadn't even known who it was. But then, once the 200 points were on the line, they started getting more and more aggressive, cornering you after lunch or after class, blocking you from exiting the locker bank.
You had heard the whispers of what Derek Evans planned to do, so you took matters into your own hands, hence stealing Jay's knife from the Rangers. People always said to go to the school, that they'd stop if enough people told. But, they never stopped. Girls had tried and tried last year, and nothing happened. Hell, you were so close to talking to the principal but were cornered right before walking into the main office, so you gave up. You figured you could just put up with it until it was over, despite how much anxiety simply going to school was now giving you.
You stepped out of the shower, dried off, and changed into your pajamas. Then, you glanced at yourself in the mirror: puffy and red eyes and cracked lips stared back at you. You hadn't even felt human since this thing started. You felt like a fucking object.
A fucking arcade game that told them that if they tried hard enough they'd win a damn prize.
The gut-wrenching sob that left your lips stopped Jay on his way to the kitchen. Jay made his way to the bathroom and knocked on the door, your sobs still ever-present.
"Y/N, can I come in? Please?" He asked quietly, using the voice he used when he had to talk to children on the job.
"I just wanna be a-alone right now J-Jay," you hiccupped.
Jay sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You know I can't let you do that. It's not healthy." He didn't get a response, so he just stood outside the bathroom, hoping you'd exit sooner rather than later.
Unfortunately, that didn't happen. And your breathing just got shallower and shallower. "Are you dressed?" he asked.
It took you a moment, but somehow you managed to tell him that you were.
Your vision was starting to go blurry and your feet and fingers were starting to go numb. The sides of your head were pounding so much that you thought it was going to explode.
Jay took a paperclip and unfolded it, then pressed it into the knob until a click was heard. The door was heavier than he had expected, alerting him that you were slumped against it. You felt yourself being pushed forward, but at this point, you didn't even care since you were too focused on not passing out. But, if you did pass out you figured, at least your mind wouldn't wander to all the recent events.
"Y/N, Y/N, open those eyes for me, okay? Just look at me. Focus on me," Jay urged you after he had squeezed himself through the door and was now crouching down in front of you.
"C-Can't-- Open eyes-- hurts," you said through shallow and fast breaths.
"Okay. I'm gonna squeeze your hand. Just focus on the touch and try and follow my breathing."
"What-- if I-- pass-- out?"
"I won't let that happen. Now in, out, in, out. Good. Now I'm gonna add a second. In, out, in, out..."
You continued to focus on Jay's voice as you slowly but surely started to regain feeling in your feet and fingers.
"Can you open your eyes for me?" Jay asked, once your breathing had returned to a semi-normal state for a few cycles. Slowly, you opened your eyes but quickly closed them. "Head still hurt?"
"Yeah."
"That'll happen when not enough oxygen gets to the brain. You can even ask Will to fact check me." You heard the doorbell ring. "Speaking of Will..."
"You didn't."
"But I did. He brought food, too."
"Jay? Y/N? You here?" you heard Will yell from down the hallway after he entered the house.
"Bathroom!" Jay replied, causing you to wince due to how close he was to your ear. "Sorry."
"What the hell happened?" Will asked as he rushed to crouch down in front of you, going into doctor mode when he saw your eyes were clenched shut. There was a pause as Jay mouthed panic attack to his older brother. "Okay, well I'm gonna go get you some water, hopefully that'll make your head stop hurting and then I'll check out that cheek of yours."
"Do you have to?" you whined.
"Kid, one day you'll thank me for this."
"I doubt it," you mumbled.
Will came back with a glass of water and slid it into your hand, making sure that your hand was firmly wrapped around it before letting go. After waiting about a minute after you'd finished the water, you opened your eyes.
"Better?" Will asked.
"Better," you confirmed. "Thanks."
"That's what big brothers are for."
"So that means you don't have to go all doctor on me?"
"Ha, that was funny. Now, sit on the counter so I can take a look."
You pushed yourself off the floor and then onto the counter, Jay standing up after you to stand next to Will. Great, now you had two worried older brothers both looking at the same thing. At least they weren't both doctors.
"Damn, it's already bruising," Jay said as he looked on.
Will hand gently touched your cheek. "Tell me if anywhere hurts." He touched from your jaw up to your cheek bone, but the only place you told him that hurt was between the two and a bit at the bottom of your cheek bone.
"You're lucky," Will started, "You hit it just a bit higher I might have to take you in for x-rays to make sure you didn't bruise or fracture your cheek bone."
"No hospital?" you asked hopefully.
"No hospital," Will confirmed. "Just lots of ice."
"Come on, let's go get that food Will brought before it gets too cold...and the beer for me and him gets warm."
***
You walked into Intelligence with Jay the next morning, trying to think of anything but the worried looks you were getting. "It's okay to be scared," Jay told you, giving your shoulder a squeeze. "And, I'll be there the whole time."
"Do you have to?" you asked him.
"Because you're a minor and I'm your legal guardian, they can't talk to you unless I'm there. So, yes, I have to be with you."
"Hailey," Voight's raspy voice carried through the bullpen. "You go talk to Y/N. Ruzek, go talk to Jordan."
"Jordan's here?" you asked, looking up at Jay.
"Yeah. Kevin wanted him to give a statement, too. Said he can attest to all the stuff that was said in the locker room."
"Oh." You didn't want to think about the things that were said. If you thought what they were posting was bad, what they talked about in the locker room you knew would be ten times worse.
You followed Hailey into the breakroom. Despite being here dozens of times before, it felt odd to you this time, eerie, as it was waiting to gobble up your deepest and darkest secrets and fears and share them with the world.
Hailey sat across from you and Jay sat next to you. "Jay, I need you to read this over and sign it since Y/N's a minor." She slid two pieces of paper over to him and he glanced at them and quickly scribbled his signature.
Hailey gave him a look that said you're not gonna read it? "I've told parents what this says before. I know the drill." Hailey nodded and took the papers from him.
"Start from the beginning, Y/N. What happened with Derek Evans?" Hailey prompted.
"I have a question." Here goes nothing. Hailey nodded at you to continue while Jay furrowed his eyebrows. He had been over how this was going to work with you before you even stepped out of the house this morning to try and ease your nerves. "Does it matter?"
"Does what matter? What he did to you? Of course, it does," Hailey answered.
"No, sorry. That came out wrong. "Does it matter that I had a crush on him last year...and kinda into this year." The crush only lasted two months into this school year though, when you found out he had cheated on his current girlfriend. But last year, oh last year your crush was in full swing and you took every opportunity you could to talk to the then junior, and there was no fooling anyone in that school that you had been head over heels for him.
"I'm sorry. I'm not following," Hailey apologized.
"Since I had a crush on him and he knew it, couldn't he take that as I wanted this?"
"No. It's only consent if both parties agreed to it."
"But maybe me having a crush on him would make him think that."
Now, it was Jay's turn to speak. "Did you take health class yet?"
"No, I take it next semester. Why?"
"The teacher will talk about consent there, but I guess we're doing it now." He looked at Hailey to make sure this was okay and she nodded at him to continue. "What do you think has to happen for someone to not consent?"
"One of them has to say no or stop."
"Is that the only way to be sure?"
"I mean, I guess."
"See, that's where you're wrong. It's not consent if you slap his hand away. It's not consent if you're too drunk to say yes. Same for drugs. It's not consent if you're coerced into it. And, consent can be revoked at any time. Any time. To keep it simple for you to remember right now, it's only consent if you and him both said yes to this. And, I know you didn't say yes to what happened to you and what they were threatening to do to you."
"So, even though I didn't say stop or no right away when he pushed me up against my car and grabbed me, I still wasn't consenting?" you asked.
"No," Hailey answered. "Did he ask to grab your butt?"
"No."
"Therefore, there was no consent involved."
There was a knock on the door and Hailey got up to answer it. "Halstead, a word," Voight ordered, motioning for him to follow.
Jay glanced at you. "Hey, don't worry, kid. Everything will work out one way or another."
Jay followed Voight into his office and closed the door. "What's up, Sarge?"
"The kid who grabbed your sister, well he's 18, Jay. Just turned 18 last month."
"So, we can press more charges?"
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Since all we have are threats and Y/N's and Jordan's word against his, most we can do is forcible touching. If he had acted on the threat, then that'd be a different story."
"So, you're saying that she had to be forced to have oral sex with this ass to press more charges? The threats aren't enough? Even though we clearly have proof of the threats from that goddamn leaderboard."
"I know it's not ideal--"
Jay threw his hands up. "Ideal? It's ridiculous!"
Voight was about to say something, but was stopped by a knock on his office door. "Yeah?" he asked.
"Boss, we got a problem," Ruzek said as he entered.
"What type of problem?"
"The Evans kid? Yeah, well his dad's the president of the school board."
"You're kidding."
"Wish I was, Boss."
"Jay, go see if Y/N knew about this. The rest of us are gonna figure out how to proceed with this new information."
Jay was about to enter the breakroom, when his phone buzzed. It was Will.
Any news? the text read.
Other than the fact that the Evans kid's dad is the president of the school board and we only have enough to get him on forcible touching, no nothing new.
Jay didn't even think about the fact that he was sharing information about an open investigation. To him, this was just him talking to his brother about the case that involved his sister.
Jay held down the power button to turn his phone off and then walked back into the breakroom. "Anything?" Hailey asked.
"Uh, yeah. But let's finish interviewing Y/N first. I know we had to stop since I left."
Jay sat back down next to you and Hailey started questioning you once again.
"Did you know that this game was going to happen?" Hailey asked.
"Yeah, that's why I started wearing long sweaters and hoodies, to try and cover up my butt."
"Okay, and when it start to turn into more than grabs?"
"Um, one day Jordan called me after school and he told me that Derek was planning to get me to..." you trailed off, not wanting to say it.
"I know you think it's disgusting to say, Y/N, but I need you to say what he said to you."
You looked up at Jay, feeling like a five-year-old who was about to say a swear word. "It's okay. We won't laugh or get mad."
"He uh, Jordan told me that Derek was going to get me to give him a blowjob...even if he had to force me to do it."
A few tears ran down your face. Even though your brother was a cop, telling the actual cops in an actual statement made it that much more real.
"Do you want a break? Some water maybe?" Hailey asked.
"No, I'm fine. I just wanna get this over with."
"Okay. Did anyone try and tell the principal? Any teachers? Other adults?"
"Girls tried, they really did. They told Mr. White, the principal, but he said that they didn't have any proof. And, he also said that they were football players and that some of them had shots at scholarships for D1 schools. Why would we want to wreck that for them, is what he had asked us. And, Derek's dad is on the school board, so we knew that even if it went further than the principal and to the superintendent or school board, that nothing would happen.
"I was gonna try to tell Mr. White once, but I was cornered before I got into the main office, so I was scared."
You turned to Jay now. "I'm sorry. I should've told you when this all started but I didn't want to get made fun of or have more things happen at school because what if they canceled football and it was all my fault and--"
"You need to remember that you did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing, you hear me?" you nodded. "And what White did, basically saying that boys will be boys, that makes me sick. And if I had a way to arrest him, I would."
"Thanks, Jay."
A comfortable silence fell over you before you explained everything else, like Derek shoving you against your car and forcibly grabbing your ass. You also explained how Jordan had said that he was planning on taking your keys so you'd have to have oral with him to get them back and how other players were planning on following you home.
After that, you were out in the bullpen, when Trudy Platt came up the stairs. "Hank, Halstead, I need you to go this address."
Platt handed Voight a piece of paper, which you're assuming had the address on it. "Why? This doesn't have to do with our case. Couldn't patrol do it?"
"I don't think Halstead would be pleased if I put his brother in lockup, so I figured I'd have you two go check it out," she answered.
"What did Will do?" you piped up before Jay could.
"Let's just say him and Derek Evans each got a few punches in," Trudy answered. "I thought you two could be the ones to go down and get him."
"Thanks, Trudy," Voight said as he started to walk downstairs. But, he stopped when he noticed that Jay wasn't following.
"Uh, Hailey," Jay called. "Could you maybe take Y/N to Will's house while I do this? I just don't want her at home in case they somehow got our address."
"Yeah, no problem," Hailey answered, taking the spare key Jay handed her.
You four walked down the stairs and then each headed your separate ways. Once Jay and Voight were in the car, Voight turned to him. "Care to tell me how Will found the name and address?"
"Sarge, I have absolutely no idea." And then he remembered the text he sent. "Oh, oh shit. Listen, it was an accident. He asked me if we had any new information, and I told him that Derek was 18 and he must've just went from that. Sorry, I wasn't thinking. To me, this isn't just an investigation, it's an investigation that involves my sister and I was just giving information to my brother without thinking about the legal ramifications."
"I get it, Jay. I did the same thing with Justin."
"Are we really arresting him?"
"No, but we are gonna have a chat with Derek and his father."
***
"I want to press charges!" Derek Evans' dad yelled when Jay and Hank rolled up to the scene. "This man assaulted my son!"
"Yeah? Well, your son assaulted my sister, so I think it's even!" Will spat back.
"Let's just take a moment to talk this out," Voight said, stepping between the two.
"I won't talk until you put this man in handcuffs!"
Voight turned and nodded at Jay. "Sarge, you can't be--"
"I am serious, Jay. Now do it and bring him to the car. Now."
Jay gritted his teeth and put Will's hands behind his back. "You have the right to right to remain silent. If you give up this right, anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. If you do not have the money to afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been told to you?" Jay recited as he led Will to the car.
"Yes. Jay, what are you--"
"Just go with it," Jay hissed in his ear, causing his older brother to shut up.
Jay put Will in the back of the car and then got in the passenger seat. "Now, in a second I'm going to take these off and then I'm gonna go inside and talk to them with Voight. Do not, under any circumstances, get out of the car. You understand me?"
"Yeah, now can you get these off me? You put 'em on real tight, Jay."
Jay smirked as he took Will out of the car and undid his cuffs. "Payback for all the times you poked me with a needle." Then, he looked at Will's face. "Looks like the kid got a few good punches on you. There's gonna be a real nice shiner there," he joked.
"Shut up and go finish your job." Will rolled his eyes as Jay put the cuffs back in his pocket and left Will in the car.
When Jay walked into the Evans' residence he saw Derek, Derek's dad, and Hank all sitting down at the kitchen table. "Now, we know that your son has threatened to force himself on a girl at school, so this can go one of two ways," Voight started as Jay stood behind him. "We can either contact the media and tell them all about this little game he and his teammates like to play, but that he took a step too far, which would ensure he doesn't get into a good college. Or, you could transfer him out of his current high school and to a new one and this doesn't get out to the press. Your choice."
"You don't have enough to charge him, so why would I pull my son out of school his senior year?"
"Because, once word gets out, well no college wants a guy with a history of sexual assault on their football team. It sets a bad image."
"It's not like I even did anything!" Derek protested, while still trying to hold the ice pack to his lip that Will had busted open.
"Oh, didn't do anything? Let me enlighten you. You got the pictures, Sarge?" Jay asked.
"Got 'em right here."
Voight laid all the pictures of the leaderboard and the messages about you on the table. "The girl who Derek said he wanted to get oral sex from? That guy in the back of our car right now is her brother. Now, do you understand why the fight broke out, Mr. Evans?"
Derek's dad looked back and forth between the pictures and his son, trying to figure out how his son could do this. "Derek, did you say these things?"
"Oh, he did more than say. He slammed the girl up against her car and forcibly grabbed her backside," Jay said, not wanting to admit he was your brother or else there would be a conflict of interest in this encounter. And, even though Derek knew, Jay was the one with a gun so he figured the best idea would be to not piss him off.
Voight laid the picture of your bruised cheek on the table. "This is what happened because of that. She's lucky she didn't break her cheekbone."
"I'm- I'm sorry," Derek finally spoke up. "It was just supposed to be a fun game that we bet some money on who could get the most points."
"A game? A game is football. This is bordering on assault. We are far from a game," Jay told him.
"So, what's it gonna be? Take Derek out of school and transfer him or do I call the media? You have five seconds," Voight told him, pulling out his phone to silently tell them that he wasn't bluffing.
Derek's eyes widened. "I'll transfer! I'll transfer!"
"Derek, we need time to think about this--"
"No, Dad, I need a shot at a scholarship to go D1."
"Then it's settled. Thank you for your time."
Jay and Voight left the house and went back to the car. "What's the verdict?" Will asked.
"He's transferring schools," Voight answered and handed the folder of evidence photos to Jay.
"Why are you giving these to me?"
Voight shrugged. "Do with them what you want, Halstead. I wouldn't blame you, no one would."
***
"Hailey, can you give me and Y/N a second?" Jay asked as you entered you house and shrugged off your coats.
"Of course."
"You can stay out here. We'll talk in Y/N's room," Jay said.
You walked down the hall and went into your room and sat on your bed. "So, what's up? Did you arrest Derek?"
"Unfortunately, we didn't have enough evidence to do that."
You looked down at your hands. "But then it's just gonna keep happening, Jay. I don't wanna go back there."
"Back where?" he asked, sitting next to you.
"To school, it'll just be worse."
"Hey, no it won't because he's transferring schools."
"But the other boys will just keep doing it, Jay. I'm terrified."
"Hey, hey look at me." You looked up at Jay, trying to stop yourself from crying. "That will not happen, I can promise you that."
"But you don't know that."
"Just trust me on this one."
"Okay," you whispered.
"And one more thing," Jay started. "If it didn't already go without saying, you're ungrounded because I'm assuming you brought that knife to school to use in case anything happened. And, with what happened yesterday, I can't say I blame you."
"Thanks, I figured as much."
"Now, next time you need something for self-defense, we're just gonna get you some pepper spray."
"Good idea."
"Let's go back out to Hailey and you two can look at Pinterest or whatever for dresses or whatever it is girls do with that stuff."
***
The next morning, you woke up to message after message about school. There were links sent you entitled Football Player Assaults Girl Outside of School Because of a Bet and Principal of a Chicago High School Resigns Because of Complaints from Girls about the Football Team Sexually Harassing Them, but He Didn't do Anything about It.
You could not believe it. Just 48 hours ago you were freaking out about having to go to school for fear of a guy grabbing you or doing something worse. And now, you could go to school and feel comfortable. And, those boys wouldn't do anything else and if something did happen, you'd be able to tell the assistant principal--who was now acting principal--about what was happening and have something actually be done about it.
"Jay!" you yelled as you ran into the kitchen, almost bumping into him.
"Whoa, slow down! I almost spilled hot coffee on you!" he laughed as he set his mug down on the table and turned back to you.
"Sorry, sorry. Have you seen this? Someone leaked the leaderboard and now Mr. White resigned! I'll actually be able to focus in class now!" You slid the phone to him and he looked at the titles in the notifications. "I just wonder who did it."
"Told you I'd handle it." Then, he took a sip of his coffee.
"Oh my God, you were the one who leaked it?" Your eyes almost popped out of your head. Couldn't that get him in trouble?
"I never said that."
"You just sipped your coffee like that Kermit and the sips tea meme, so yeah, I think you did," you playfully argued.
"Well, technically, it wasn't me. I just passed on a copy of the pictures to a CI of mine, whose cousin happens to work for the Chicago Sun-Times."
"Bye-bye college football for all these assholes."
"And the city's a safer place because of it."
"Hey, what do I always say: Go save Chicago."
"Team effort. And this time, Y/N, you got to play a part in that team."
A/N: I know it's been almost a month since I've posted an imagine, but school is busy and I'm writing long imagines, which usually take me a week to write, so that's why. Oh, and happy Valentine's Day (bc that's in like 2 days). Go cuddle with your boyfriend/girlfriend if you have one. Or, if you're single (like me) go read some cute fluffy fanfiction and eat all the chocolate!
#writing#imagine#jay halstead#will halstead#chicago pd#fanfic#fanfiction#fic#chicago pd fanfiction#chicago pd imagine#jay halstead imagine#will halstead imagine#Halstead Bros#halstead brothers#halstead sister#halstead sister imagine#one shot#study-coffee-chicago
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Spilled Pearls
- Chapter 19 - ao3 -
Time passed, as it had a tendency to do.
After Cangse Sanren left, Lan Qiren remained in seclusion for the next two months, reviewing texts on the Lan sect rules regarding reciprocation, filial respect, and loyalty, and occasionally playing some new pieces – he’d started composing music as well as simply learning it, and that was a finicky business. Not only did he need to worry about the musical composition itself, like any normal musician, but there was also interweaving the spiritual energies and figuring out the way the song could be used as a spell, which was a completely different and often completely contradictory set of rules.
Moreover, the most powerful song-spells, he knew, were the ones that incorporated and drew on emotion, and he’d always had difficulty with those. Like most of his clan, Lan Qiren cleaved towards the more intellectual melodies, difficult but cold and distant, yet if he wanted to be truly innovative, he would need to find melodies in his heart.
Not long before he went to the Nightless City he had been inspired in a dream with a half-snippet of sound, which he had been painstakingly building up into a song in fits and starts, but recently he had found that whenever he played it the only image that came to mind was that of pearls scattered amidst blood-red mud.
The song was good, though, although it felt unfinished and incomplete. After he emerged from seclusion, he played it for his music teacher, first without qi and then with, demonstrating the suffocating and asphyxiating feeling of it – a heavy stone sitting in the midst of his chest, all his misery and anxieties wrapped up into musical notes – and his music teacher had been thrilled.
“You were born to write tragedies, child,” he said, examining the score proudly. “This is not only good but innovative, a new style with unexpected effects. I look forward to seeing you refine this further, and to your future works.”
Lan Qiren saluted deeply.
Music was just about the only thing that was going right for him at the moment.
The other disciples had been lured back into gossip by his presence, consumed by curiosity, and the teachers had come down on it hard, breeding resentment; even his few friends had been made tired by the whole fuss and only wanted it to die down. The rumors went by swiftly and quickly, anything to do with the Wen sect or the Nightless City almost immediately spread around everywhere, reaching his ears almost immediately upon his exit from seclusion.
One in particular caused him alarm, suggesting that Madame Wen had been discarded or even killed immediately after successfully bearing a son to her husband, but Lan Yueheng had convinced Lan Ganhui, always good at making friends, to write to the Wen sect disciples he’d become friendly with in the Nightless City to find out the truth. In the end, it turned out that Wen Ruohan had merely grown more distant from her, instructing her to go into seclusion for the birth a little early, and had perhaps sarcastically sent her a few treatises on the subject of a wife’s duty to support her husband. In the end, Wen Ruohan was an ambitious and ruthless man who encouraged his sect to take him as his model - as he himself had remarked, Madame Wen’s viciousness in fact demonstrated how she was an excellent match for him.
Lan Qiren hated that he was relieved that Wen Ruohan had not taken out his rage at what had happened on his wife, who had instigated the incident. He hated even more his suspicions that Wen Ruohan might have refrained from doing so not out of morality but out of the thought that Lan Qiren himself might disapprove - he wasn’t sure if that thought made him happy or sad.
At any rate, he soon didn’t have time to worry about things like that.
Lan Qiren’s refusal to explain in any detail what had happened at the Nightless City that had sent him fleeing and retreating into seclusion was largely not accepted by his curious peers, especially when someone had jeeringly pointed out that he’d probably told Cangse Sanren the whole thing already, and he refused to go to his teachers to complain, as he had in his youth.
His brother hadn’t accepted it, either.
He’d given Lan Qiren ten days after exiting seclusion, clearly expecting him to come and report on what had happened. When Lan Qiren had not done so, he had finally grown impatient and found him, demanding to know what it was that he had done that had caused such a fuss.
Lan Qiren had knelt and declared that he was unfilial and disobedient, that he had broken the rules, and requested that his brother punish him for his wrongdoing.
His brother had stared at him for a long time before realizing that Lan Qiren was serious – that he would rather be punished for intentionally breaking the rules against honoring and obeying his elders than tell what he had done or what had happened. Even when he was dragged to the hanshI, his collar pulled tight in his brother’s fist until he was thrown down to kneel in front of their father the sect leader, Lan Qiren did not object; he knelt without complaint, and even pressed his forehead to the ground in deference, but he did not speak.
The punishment his father decided upon for him was harsh, but Lan Qiren accepted it willingly. By the rules of his sect, an accepted punishment expiated a breach of the rules; once punished, he could no longer be persecuted for what he had done to earn the punishment. It would be over and done with.
Of course, there were always ways around that.
Technically, Lan Qiren’s breach was not in refusing to tell what had happened, but in disrespecting his elders by so refusing. A few days after he recovered from his initial punishment, his brother, still furious at having been denied, asked him the same question, with the same result. Their father looked disapprovingly at his eldest son – deliberately exploiting loopholes was not good etiquette – but again imposed a punishment.
Lan Qiren gritted his teeth and endured.
Lan Qiren’s brother did not bother him a third time, but by then it was too late; their relationship continued to deteriorate. Lan Qiren sought to avoid his brother whenever possible, and his brother’s disappointment in him grew; although he did not explicitly complain or impose punishments directly, he made his views clear. Those disciples and teachers that most admired him were, as always, more than willing to follow his lead and fill in the gaps, and for one reason or another Lan Qiren spent more time in the discipline hall than ever before.
Eventually, noticing the division, others in the sect sought to reconcile them – their teachers, in the most part – but Lan Qiren rebuffed them, having noticed that their requests to be more considerate and free-minded were always aimed at him and never to his brother.
After poor Lan Yueheng, who never cared about anything but his alchemy and his mathematics and, possibly, the particularly indulgent outer-sect female disciple that guarded the stockroom of the ingredients he used to make things explode and regularly looked the other way when he came to get an extra helping, got roped into trying to tell Lan Qiren to be more forgiving, citing rules about fighting within families leading to nothing with a miserable and bemused expression on his face, Lan Qiren went to the teacher in question and rather acidly pointed out the discrepancy.
“He’s your elder,” the teacher said.
“Do not disrespect the younger,” Lan Qiren retorted.
“He’s your family –”
“Am I not his?”
The teacher sighed. “It’s not the same, with him. You know how he is – how he’s always been.”
Lan Qiren knew. Still, he said, “If you can identify where my conduct does not live up to the rules, please do so, and I will consider if my conduct requires modification. At the moment, I do not.”
“Qiren…”
“Why must I always be the one to yield?” Lan Qiren demanded. “I didn’t answer one question, and I took the punishment for it, as was my right. He is the one who is insisting on making a fuss, not me – why come to me? I don’t want anything from him.”
“That’s the problem. You shouldn’t fight so – why this, why now? You’ve always yielded to him before.”
Lan Qiren said nothing.
“He’s still your elder brother, Qiren. Soon, he’ll be your sect leader.”
“Do not fear the strong; do not bully the weak,” Lan Qiren said. “Being sect leader makes him more responsible, not less.”
“Qiren –”
“I have been a good brother to him for nearly twenty years, honored teacher. Perhaps not the most promising, perhaps somewhat embarrassing, but devoted in my own way. I have not changed so much. I am still loyal, still filial; I still do all that I am asked…the only thing that changed is that I expect nothing from him.”
Not even his love.
Lan Qiren knew better, now. He’d seen what a brother could be, what it should be - he’d experienced, however fleetingly, having someone genuinely care for him, listen to him and indulge him and take joy in his company; no longer would he accept his brother’s barely concealed disdain as an adequate substitute.
“Qiren –”
“Has my father said anything?”
His teacher fell silent.
Lan Qiren bowed his head, having expected nothing better. His father was growing more and more distant from the world, less and less interested in the minutiae of everyday life; he could still stir himself to care for his precious eldest son, the child of his heart, but his oft-forgotten and overlooked second?
Unless Lan Qiren’s brother had complained about him, his father was unlikely to remember that such a person as Lan Qiren even existed.
“Does father hate me?” he asked, emboldened by his misery. It was the question he had always wanted to ask and had never dared to, and his teacher flinched as if struck. “Is that why he never saw me?”
“No,” his teacher said. “No – it wasn’t…”
“Does he blame me for my mother’s death?”
“He blames himself,” his teacher said, and sounded tired unto death. “From the very first. He thought that if he had not been sect leader, they might not have lost their children; if he was not sect leader, it wouldn’t have mattered if they’d had only one child left. But he couldn’t blame the sect, so he blamed himself – you don’t know how bad it was, Qiren; you don’t know what we all went through back then. When your mother died, he even lost his mind for a time.”
“What does that have to do with me?” Lan Qiren demanded. His hands had clenched into fists at some point, his knuckles pale and white. “If he blames himself and not me, then why did he – he never –”
He barely even saw me, he wanted to say. I am his son, just like my brother, yet it’s as if I don’t exist.
Why couldn’t he love me, too?
“You were very young,” his teacher said, his voice suddenly very distant as if he were remembering something. Lan Qiren looked at him in surprise. “I shouldn’t tell you this, but...she had just died, and he had lost his mind; none of us had realized the extent to it, thinking it merely grief. You were young, you didn’t understand. You ran to him, seeking comfort, and he nearly – he couldn’t risk having such a sin on his conscience, Qiren. You should not blame him.”
“What are you saying? That he neglected me and held me at arms’ length to console himself for nearly murdering me?” Lan Qiren asked, and thought back to all the times he had found himself afraid of his father’s glacial voice, terrified for no reason. If his father had tried to kill him in a rage, as his teacher suggested, shouldn’t he have been more scared of the heat than of cold?
Unless - his brilliant and accomplished father, who always acted as the rules said he should but who had lost his heart along with his wife - unless he had knowingly -
Perhaps it had been the sect that had ordered their separation, not his father. Perhaps his father, who had spent years going through the motions of leadership and caring only about the son that reminded him of his wife’s joy and not the one who reminded him only of her death - his father, who led their sect and raised his eldest son and in so doing taught them all to be like him, overly partial to favorites and overly harsh to those that did not meet expectations - perhaps he had not objected to that arrangements. Perhaps it had been the elders that had set the rule of meeting only once a month, rather than not at all.
Perhaps they had thought that it had been for Lan Qiren’s own good that they had done so.
Perhaps they thought it was for his own good that they encouraged him to yield now to his brother’s temper, to humble himself despite having done nothing wrong, and all for the sake of familial peace.
That was not the conduct mandated by his family’s rules. Not the ones he followed, anyway.
It’s his fault, Lan Qiren thought suddenly. He saw the path we were walking down, my brother and I, and he did nothing to stop it; he loved my brother too much and me too little, and ruined us both through his negligence and indifference. He made my brother think he deserved the world that he then had to hold up on his own, while he made me think I deserved nothing...he could have done better by us. He should have done better by us.
Finding that his teacher had run out of things to say, Lan Qiren saluted him once again.
“I will be filial and loyal, as the rules require,” he said simply. “I will respect and honor my father and brother. Do not doubt that.”
He said no more. Instead, he returned to his quarters, wondering if they thought he was happy about how things stood between him and his brother, who he still loved.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
He thought miserably to himself that he had been happier living in denial, pretending to himself that there was brotherly affection between them, that his brother’s coldness was only because Lan Qiren had spoiled things somehow by being inferior than his brother would have preferred. When he could love his brother whole-heartedly and think to himself that his brother secretly loved him back, when he suspected but did not know that that had only ever been a lie he had concocted for himself. He had been far happier back then than the way it was now, when even the paper-thin one-sided façade of love was gone.
The saddest part of it all was that Lan Qiren still loved his brother, his stupid Lan heart as inexorable as a mountain avalanche already set in motion. He just didn’t much like him.
He did like Wen Ruohan, the brother that liked him back and might even have loved him if a man such as him could recognize such a tender emotion, but that wasn’t really relevant.
Lan Qiren knew his duty, whether to his sect, to his brothers, or to morality. He knew what he had to do.
For his part, Wen Ruohan waited over a month and a half after Lan Qiren’s exit from seclusion before trying to reach out again by mail. No doubt conscious of his dignity and ego, the powerful sect leader that no one ever really denied, his letter talked around the subject in Wen Ruohan’s usual high-handed manner and evaded either apologies or explanations; from his tone, it was likely that he expected Lan Qiren to respond in anger and denial, or even not to respond at all. Instead, Lan Qiren wrote back obediently, reporting dully on his daily life. When pressed, he even wrote a short summary of his ongoing projects, copying the words precisely from the submissions he made for his teachers to avoid excessive enthusiasm.
Wen Ruohan’s letters developed a certain level of concern after that, which Lan Qiren ignored in favor of continuing to respond politely but unenthusiastically; a filial younger brother, just as he was to his own blood brother, and nothing more. At the next discussion conference, he saluted Wen Ruohan to the exact degree required by their relationship and called him xiongzhang as a respectful younger brother ought; Wen Ruohan had an expression on his face that suggested he had bitten into a sour lemon and stepped in dog shit at the same time, and his eyes followed Lan Qiren around for the remainder of the afternoon.
Lan Qiren was concerned for a while that Wen Ruohan would try to summon him once night fell, forcing the issue, but he was saved through an unexpected twist of fate – namely, that Jiang Fengmian had, like all the others, completely misinterpreted Lan Qiren’s relationship with Cangse Sanren. The Jiang sect heir marched up to him not long after the opening ceremonies had been completed and asked him, stiffly, to swear that he had no interest in the lady and would not communicate with her in the future. Lan Qiren, thinking primarily of their friendship, refused, and then Jiang Fengmian punched him right in the face.
Lan Qiren might be cold and standoffish as a rule, but he did have a temper, and that temper did not hold with being assaulted over things that weren’t even his fault – neither of them were even involved with Cangse Sanren! – and having been so thoroughly goaded he had no choice but to hit back.
In the end, Cangse Sanren had slapped Jiang Fengmian silly and Lan Qiren’s brother had sent him to kneel in disgrace all night, reminding him no fighting without permission and with his eyes silently promised additional punishment when they returned home.
Wen Ruohan didn’t disturb him that night, and Lan Qiren was able to persevere. Indeed, Wen Ruohan troubled him much less than he’d feared, opting in his hurt pride to instead turn to Lao Nie and stay remarkably close by his side – Lao Nie was the one who looked apologetically at Lan Qiren and tried to find time for him, whether to invite him on outings or to scold his brother for the apparent breakdown in domestic tranquility. For his part, Lan Qiren ignored Lao Nie and didn’t hold it against him even when he started showing up to the discussion meetings with distinctive red marks on his throat.
All right, he held it against him a little.
How Lao Nie had such bad taste, Lan Qiren had no idea. Surely he, unlike Lan Qiren, had known enough to realize that Wen Ruohan was an evil man…?
Probably he had; it was only that he didn’t much care. Lan Qiren had promised to try to stop lying to himself about people he liked, and that meant he couldn’t pretend that Lao Nie wasn’t a remarkably callous man at times, ruthless and careless with anything that was outside his sect – even his friends. There could be no doubt that he loved them, sincerely and honestly, and yet…
Lan Qiren was a little disappointed, but not much, knowing that he, too, was irrevocably bound to such a man as Wen Ruohan. He couldn’t blame Lao Nie for the same thing he himself had done.
Mostly he was just pleased that his suspicion regarding their relationship had been confirmed, even if somehow – unbelievably – no one else seemed to notice it.
In fact, he thought it might mark the very first time in his life that he’d figured out something interpersonal before other people had. Normally he would report it to someone at his sect as soon as he noticed that they’d overlooked it, wanting to do his best for them, but the sensation was too novel and his relations with his sect a little too cold at the moment; he hugged the knowledge to his chest instead, enjoying the brief warm feeling of knowing something other people didn’t.
He intended to tell them, of course, once they returned back to the Cloud Recesses, only they had barely brushed the dust of their journey off their shoulders when they were summoned to the gathering hall for what everyone had now expected for years: Lan Qiren’s father, eyes blank, made the announcement that he was officially setting the date for which he would be retiring as sect leader and retreating from the world, going into seclusion to try to break through the boundaries of cultivation and reach the heavens in a single bound or else die in the attempt.
Lan Qiren’s brother, naturally, would inherit.
He was as fresh from the road as the rest of them, but with his hands behind his back, standing beside their father, he looked as fresh and untouched as a new-bloomed orchid, as beautiful as a polished piece of jade. His eyes reflected the dichotomy that Lan Qiren had learned governed his brother’s life: pride, for the power that he was going to inherit and the accomplishments that everyone agreed made him worthy of that inheritance, and envy, looking at his own father with jealousy, longing also to withdraw from the weight the world had placed on him and do what he could on his own, unburdened by others.
Lan Qiren’s brother, Lan Qiren had learned, saw everything in his life through the prism of himself – did others have something he wanted, did he have something that they didn’t, how did he compare, was he being compared…when he got something into his mind, he cared for nothing else but how to achieve it, no matter the cost, and most of the time he was successful, too. He was fundamentally self-sufficient, requiring nothing and no one but himself, and so was capable of performing miracles – if he was motivated to do so.
Lan Qiren was much less capable. He was lacking in cultivation, lacking in social skills, lacking even in a similar degree of independence, longing as he did for the company and acceptance of his peers even as his introversion demanded sufficient time to himself. There was no way in which he was superior to his brother; in every respect, he was inferior.
And yet, sometimes, he thought that his brother was jealous of him, too.
(Their father retreating into seclusion meant that they would both be losing him – but it was really only Lan Qiren’s brother that lost something. For Lan Qiren, what he mourned was only the absence of what had never been there, and he had finished mourning for that already.)
In the end, the main change occasioned by the impending change in leadership was that Lan Qiren’s brother grew too busy to pay much attention to Lan Qiren, much to his relief. Relations between them grew…not warmer, no, but less fraught, and although Lan Qiren knew he ought to celebrate, he mostly mourned that the cause of it was not a real mending of fences but rather his brother simply forgetting that he existed, just as their father always had.
Lan Qiren took the first opportunity he had to get out of the Cloud Recesses, even attending a party to celebrate sworn brother’s new son with relatively little issue. During the visit, Wen Ruohan ignored him in favor of sticking ever closer to a strangely distracted Lao Nie, almost as if he were deliberately slighting Lan Qiren for having been cold in their last interaction and for not answering his letters the way he wanted. Lan Qiren briefly felt hurt at having been put aside and forgotten so quickly - assuming that he had been forgotten, which he wasn’t sure of, as Wen Ruohan ignoring him sometimes seemed almost performative - but then reminded himself that this, like his poor relationship with his blood brother, was only the results of his own actions, and those of others.
He didn’t – regret it, not really. He’d lived his life by the Lan sect rules, and he didn’t regret doing so now, no matter how lonely the results might make him feel.
Instead, he returned to the Cloud Recesses and began to plan out in earnest his plans for departing the Cloud Recesses to travel the world as a musician, the goal he had set since he was young and was finally, impossibly, on the verge of satisfying. He would need to stay for his brother’s ascension to sect leader the next year, he thought, and perhaps for a year after that – just because their relationship wasn’t good didn’t mean he was entitled to do things that would let other people talk about it – but after that…
After that, he would go.
He would make new friends, or not. He would learn new things. He would see what the world was like.
Sooner than he thought, Lan Qiren turned twenty, thereby finally becoming an adult. The event took place with little fanfare, and Lan Qiren sent back the gifts he received from both Wen Ruohan and Lao Nie unopened with a polite note indicating that he was unworthy of such attention, and Cangse Sanren’s with a much more emphatic note reminding her that he was largely uninterested in sexual matters and therefore had no need for these sorts of implements.
His brother got him new guqin strings, the same gift he always gave – Lan Qiren had once been very happy to receive it before he realized that it was the storeroom distributing the gift in his brother’s name – and Lan Qiren returned that as well. Lan Yueheng was the only one who successfully managed to give him a gift by virtue of sneaking the fancy brush he’d bought for him into his table in such a way that Lan Qiren utilized it before realizing it was new, and then refused to take it back on the basis that it had already been used. He looked so pleased with himself over his little trick that Lan Qiren didn’t have the heart to scold him.
Time continued to pass: day by day, night by night, season by season.
And then she arrived.
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BILLY — Kim Taehyung (3)
Synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?
Pairing: yandere!Taehyung x f!reader
genre: angst, horror, weirdly some fluff lol
Warnings: dark themes, yandere, stalking, manipulation, conditioning, mentions of abuse, suicidal ideations/attempts, self harm, murder, depictions of torture etc (basically its gorey and fucked up), angel trap, etc stabbing and guns. do not read if triggered!!!!
wordcount: 2.2k
taglist: @yes-sol-not-soul @yoongiofmine
a/n: pt 3 is here!! honestly i wasnt expecting this amount of support as i’ve never published my writing before so thank u sm ♡ i was inspired to write this one night and i had no idea where it’d go or anything but i’m happy with the way its turning out :D fun fact abt me, i’ve been obsessed w the franchise since i was little and i actually have 2 saw tattoos, one of billy and one above saying “cherish your life” since that’s pretty much the motto of saw :) and i have quite the collection of saw/billy items so why not turn my fav horror film into a fucked up love story! let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist and pls enjoy reading^^ feel free to send me asks abt the series or anything u want~ i love hearing from u guys!! :D ps— taehyung and the reader dont have much interaction in this part,, theyll definitely be more of them together in part 4 :) unedited so pls excuse any mistakes!! tysm <33 and remember these are fictional characters and do not represent bts personally in any way!!
series masterlist
part one part two
The headlines constantly named the Jigsaw Killer, Billy. The somewhat eerie little doll that had a face as white as a Calla Lily with spirals on it’s cheeks as red as the blood that was shed during the tests. Billy was always dressed in a little black suit with a red bowtie and he was (most of the time) situated on a squeaky battered tricycle. Attached was always a tape that read “play me” and when the subjects did, a chilling voice— one that could make even the world's worst predators shiver with terror— would echo around the room.
Everyone knew that a doll clearly wasn’t responsible, yet they gave it the name Billy in hopes to somewhat humanise the face that instilled panic— they did not want to live in fear.
It was the only face behind the killings.
But this time, there was a different subject stuck in the test and Billy had made sure there was no way for them to survive.
“How are you scared of heights? You’re practically a giant yourself!”
“Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I can’t be scared of heights Y/Nie.”
You had no idea how long had passed since Taehyung had turned up at the garage, you were too busy chatting away squeezed into the kitchen while your Dad, Yoongi and Hobi worked on the cars in the shop. If anyone could hear you both, they would think you’d known eachother since childhood— the playful jokes and light touches exaggerated that.
You’d only known him for a few hours really, if you added the time spent with him on the first day and now. It hadn’t seemed like all those weeks ago that you first met, he had a familiar presence, as though you had known him for years compared to the hours.
“I just wouldn’t imagine you to be scared of anything Taehyung… you seem so confident and fearless.”
You saw the way Taehyung looked at you. His eyes flashed with understanding.
“I did have my fears back then, much like yours.”
“What do you mean?” you had a rough idea on what he meant but you needed him to voice it.
A deep inhale and the words flowed from his lips before he could stop it, “The fear of living. I had been through some stuff you know, growing up. My mum was working a lot and my dad was an alcoholic, he was so fucking possessive and wouldn’t let her go anywhere without kicking off. It was a fucking shitshow and so toxic. This one time though, I’d pretended that I’d gone to school and waited outside the front door. It didn’t take long before I heard shit getting smashed and my dad shouting.” Taehyung was telling the truth only, he left out the part where he was also as possessive, if not more, than his father. Well, let's say… obsessive. “I just ran in the house and saw my dad towering over my mum and I don’t remember what happened but, I do remember my mum crying and my dad disappeared.”
Now Taehyung was lying through his teeth. He remembered clearly, almost like it was yesterday. He smashed the nearest bottle, pulled his mother away from the monster that scared her and stabbed him. Not just once, not twice but thirty-seven times. Hence the thirty seven tattoo on the palm of his right hand (the one he’d actually killed his father with). There was only Taehyung who knew what it meant, he counted every single time the broken glass pierced his father’s body, he counted with a smile on his face and a chuckle in his throat.
You were at a loss for words. Your mouth gaped in shock, eyes wide and your brain scrambled for the right thing to say. You reached over and grabbed his hand, interlacing your fingers. His thumb running back and forth along your hand. “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like.” There was no way you could relate, your mother and father were happy and in love. They had the ideal relationship, one you wished for yourself. You could empathise though.
“You don’t need to be sorry baby, it’s in the past and I’ve moved on from it. I was like you though, poisoned by the roots that keep you on the ground even though you wanted nothing more than to break free and be no longer.” A silence fell over you both before Taehyung uttered, “I wasn’t successful with my attempt so now I’m here to help you.”
Warmth spread throughout your body, a smile graced your features as you no longer felt alone.
You had a completely different idea to what those words actually meant.
It was nearing the evening when Taehyung’s car had been fixed. Yoongi popped his head in the kitchen to tell him but stopped himself so as to not interrupt the scene before him. You were laughing along to whatever Taehyung was babbling about with your hand resting on his bicep, with that look in your eyes that he hadn’t seen for years. Yoongi felt himself smile as he saw you hanging onto Taehyung's every word.
For the first time in forever, you looked alive.
Yoongi cleared his throat which drew yours and Taehyung’s attention, “Sorry to interrupt guys. We’ve finished with your car so whenever you’re ready we’ll be outside.” The infamous gummy smile overtook his features, you felt yourself beam in return.
“Thanks man! I’ll be like, five minutes.”
Yoongi nodded his head in reply and swiftly left the room.
You’d taken Tae’s hand into yours, playing with the array of rings that occupied his fingers. Solemn thoughts overtook, am I not gonna see him again? Was this, whatever this is, over before it had even begun? Your eyes stayed on his hand as you turned it over and traced your finger over the inked ‘thirty seven’ on his palm. “What does this mean?”
Taehyung didn’t think twice before he practically beamed out, “It’s my lucky number.”
The difference was, it wasn’t really his lucky number… although he did see it that way. It was the number that had stayed with him. It was something he was proud of, whenever he looked at the hand that killed his father, his chest filled with pride and a joyous feeling overtook his senses. It was his first murder. Something he relished in and thus, created the onslaught of Jigsaw killings. He targeted a certain type— those whose sins would lock them up forever if they were ever found out. Racists, murderers, rapists, drug dealers, con-men. Authoritative figures who abused their power. He even went as far as subjecting suicidal people.
You see, things aren’t sequential. Good doesn’t lead to good, nor bad to bad. People who steal, don’t get caught, they live the good life. Others lie, cheat and get elected.
Some people would call it karma but Taehyung, he called it justice.
He’d started this with one thing on his mind— those that don’t appreciate life do not deserve it.
Whenever a serial killer was on the loose, the press did what they always did. They gave them a nickname. While the public had named the doll Billy. The actual killer was named ‘Jigsaw’.
This stemmed from the jigsaw piece that was cut from the victims skin, no one knew why he was doing it or what it even stood for.
It did have a meaning although unknown to the public.
The jigsaw piece that was cut from the subjects was only ever meant to be a symbol that that subject was missing something. A vital piece of the human puzzle. The survival instinct.
After all, until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.
Across town an underground abandoned warehouse, was where the next subject had found themselves.
They were suspended in the air, their feet merely dangling above the ground. The putrid smell of death lingered in every crevice, the sound of rats scurrying along the concrete floor filled their ears just as they began to stir awake.
A pain in their ribs was the overwhelming factor to them finally coming around. When they groggily opened their eyes, they were paralised with fear due to the scene in front of them.
A doll sat a few feet ahead, perched upon a tricycle. Adorned with a black suit and a red bowtie. A slow red light flashed in his eyes.
Billy.
Before the subject could even register how, when or why they found themselves trapped in a test, footsteps echoed behind them. The subject called out, “Help! Please, somebody help! I shouldn’t be here!”
A tsk reached their ears, as a disembodied voice replied, “Trust me, no one can hear you. Scream all you like. You’d just be wasting your breath, you may as well cherish it before it's gone.”
With hairs stood on end, the subject stilled. “What do you want from me?”
“I don’t want anything from you.” The man's footsteps grew louder. “I’m here to serve justice, that’s all.”
The man rounded the subject, settling in their view with only his cloaked back visible while he tended to the little doll. He touched Billy delicately—like he was a little child that he loved dearly. He combed his gloved hand through the doll's black hair and eventually pulled his fingers from the tresses to pat his head gently.
“You fucking psycho! Let me go!”
He couldn’t help but laugh at that which only infuriated the subject more causing them to shake in anger, a movement they soon ceased when they realised something was penetrating their ribs.
“I’d be very careful if I was you, we wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now… would we?” The cloaked figure spun around. An angry glint to his eye.
“What the fuck, you’re fucking crazy. Let me out, this isn’t right!” The subject tried their hardest to swing their legs, to somehow kick the man who’d imprisoned them.
“I think you’ll find it is right. You’re unworthy of the body you possess.” He inched closer, “see, when someone purposely intends to harm others, they lose their right to life.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
The man arched a brow as he replied, “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He felt like it was a game of cat and mouse except, he was a tiger and his subject, was the tiniest prey to mankind. “But, let me remind you! Since you can’t get your thick fucking head to work. You’re a liar, a cheater and an abuser. That ring any bells?”
The subject's face dropped.
“Ah, I see by your expression you know exactly what I’m talking about! Glad to see we’re on the same page.” He shrugged his cloak off placing it to the side of the doll. “I want to play a game.”
“What game? This isn’t a fucking game! You’re sick in the head you fucking cunt!”
The atmosphere shifted, the man remained calm while the subject went ballistic.
“What is this? What fucking game?”
“You feel the machine that’s currently occupying your ribs? Well, in about ten minutes that’s going to rip you apart. I’m proud to say that trap is my baby. I’ve been working on it especially for you! How nice is that?” he reached out to tug at the subject’s legs, tormenting them like a cat would a mouse. “Anyway, as my beautiful angel trap will rip you apart, my darling little friend Billy over here,” the subject followed the direction the man's hand pointed, “is going to match your face with the ugliness of your soul.”
“Fuck, fuck this! How do I stop it? Tell me how I fucking stop it!”
A boxy grin overtook the man's face, laughter poured from his mouth as he leaned over and slapped the subject’s leg. “This is a special game.”
“Who are you? What do you mean by ‘special game’?”
He raised himself so he stood tall and grabbed a knife from his pocket, “I’m the man you call Jigsaw.” He traced the tip of the knife along the subject’s ankle, “and when I say a special game… I mean you can’t get out.” While the subject was screaming in realisation, Taehyung walked back for his cloak, hung it over his shoulder and stalked off back the way he came. He sent one last smile to the subject as he rounded them and within the blink of an eye, he gripped the knife and slashed the subject’s achilles.
A chilling scream pierced the eerie atmosphere, the subject couldn’t string words together. Abundances of anxiety, terror and pure panic took reign of their body. Taehyung grabbed the injured muscles and forced his gloved fingers in as he gripped and twisted them, “That’s for Y/N.”
Taehyung had pressed the timer before he cut the subject’s tendons. He grabbed the tape from his pocket and threw it on the ground and with a chuckle he shouted, “Game over!”
Before he reached the end of the hallway, he heard the gunshots pierce his subjects face followed by the sound of the angel trap, even this far away Taehyung heard every crack of the ribs and the noise of the body being tore apart.
Without looking back, Taehyung rounded the corner and slammed the door shut.
He’d chosen the Angel trap for the irony, the subject that was currently hanging from the ceiling was no angel. They were a fucked up, evil, waste of space. Taehyung had done the world a favour, he’d done you a favour.
That got him thinking, how much blood would you shed in order to stay alive?
[a/n: who do we think was in the trap???👀]
#yandere taehyung#bts horror#dark bts#yandere bts#mafia bts#kim taehyung au#kim taehyung mafia#taehyung x reader#taehyung angst#bts angst#taehyung x you#kim taehyung x reader#yandere jin#yandere hoseok#yandere yoongi#yandere namjoon#yandere jungkook#yandere bts x reader#yandere au#bts fic#billyjigsaw!taehyung#john kramer!taehyung#billy kth au#un2verse#bts mafia au#taehyung scenarios#kim taehyung scenario#bts horror au
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Au-gust Prompt: Day Twenty - Dystopia
This is actually something I've been meaning to write for a while but I never got the inspiration for it (+ I always thought about it as a long fic, which I have no time for). BUT with the au-gust prompt right there telling me to write a shorter thing for it I decided to give it a go. Hope you enjoy this!
P.S.: Cassandra Nova is here but she isn't related to Charles.
P.S.²: This concept was inspired by this edit.
WC: 2k+
-
Charles woke up with a sigh, seeing the pale sunlight entering his room through the glass pane on the wall. As he turned his head to face it, eyes blinking to get used to the light, he saw the world outside from his small apartment.
There were green fields in the distance, the Wall standing tall but looking small from where Charles looked, and the sky was grey, thin clouds covering its blue, but the sunlight still reached him, hitting his pale skin but not warming it. It was the world he knew ever since he was a child, familiar and safe.
He couldn't understand, then, why it pained him to see that familiar view, and why the cold side of his bed felt wrong.
-
Charles looked at himself on the glass window of the small cafeteria where he ate, fork and knife in hands, frozen in the place his hands had stopped as he caught a sight of his reflection. There was something wrong with him, he knew that, although he couldn't remember what, couldn't pinpoint why his own reflection looked wrong, distorted. Blue eyes stared back at him, questioning him.
What is wrong, Charles? What is wrong? What is wrong?
There's a frown on my face, he noted to himself, immediately putting the frown away, wondering why he had a frown.
His eyes lowered, staring at the reflection of his wheelchair. For a quiet moment, he didn't remember how he ended up in it in the first place, what had caused him to need it. Around him, no one else had one, and Charles felt a quiet burst of something fill his body, as if suddenly the others would judge. He was different. He shouldn't be.
Remember to eat healthy, the dull voice said on the speakers around the cafeteria, Charles' eyes moving from his reflection to his food again, his mind quickly pushing back all the other thoughts to focus on his food, that dull sensation coming back to him after a few moments. No feelings again, as it should be.
Even so, Charles filed away another thing that was wrong with him.
Emotions.
-
"And how are you today, Charles?" Cassandra Nova asked in a plain voice, almost cold. Her eyes moved to look at him as he thought about his answer, hands moving to stay between his legs as he did so.
"Healthy, productive," he answered, because it felt like the right answer. The woman's expression didn't change. "But my- my back hurts today."
"We can't have that," she offered back, walking around the room towards a cabinet as Charles' eyes followed her. "I can give you one pill for the pain today, but, if it comes back, you'll have to come back another time. You know the rules- Civilians can't be in possession of drugs."
"Of course," Charles confirmed. Something about the way she looked at him made Charles feel that feeling again, the same one that overcame him in the cafeteria just the day before.
Fear, it was fear, somehow…
"Anything else you'd like to tell me?" She inquired, their eyes meeting again as she held the bottle of pills in hands.
Charles thought about it, staring at the woman, before shaking his head. "No, ma'am."
She didn't smile, no one there ever did, but for some reason Charles could clearly see what a satisfied grin would look in the woman's face.
-
Charles, the voice called, warm and familiar, sweet as nothing Charles had ever felt. Charles, where are you?
Charles.
Charles, wake up.
Charles, please.
Please, answer me.
My love…
Charles' eyes opened, the room dark as he took a deep breath, eyes looking at the room as if the voice had been all around him.
A dream. How odd.
He moved on the bed after a few moments, getting his chair to move towards the glass pane that showed him the world outside, his eyes instinctively looking at the Wall in the distance.
For some strange reason, Charles could swear that, even far away, and even with the darkness, there was someone standing at the top of the Wall, looking back at him.
-
"And how are you today, Charles?" Cassandra Nova asked, making Charles tear his eyes away from his reflection as he stared at the woman, something cold settling on his stomach at the question.
Her eyes looked cruel for a moment, even though he knew it was impossible; In her hands, she held Charles' pills like she was keeping them away from him.
"Fine," he replied.
"Fine?" She pushed, head tilting to the side for a moment. Charles nodded, not sure of his answer anymore.
"Fine," he repeated. "But in pain."
The woman stared for a moment, and Charles panicked at the thought she wouldn't give him the pill.
Panic. Fear. Dreams.
What is wrong, Charles? What is wrong? What is wrong?
When she offered him a pill, Charles held back a relieved sigh.
"Let's fix the pain, then," she muttered, her voice dark.
-
His chair moved through the pavement, his eyes set on his destiny — work, the one he had been in for most of his life now, the only one he'd ever have. Each day, Charles wondered why it felt wrong, why everyone else around him seemed to have the muscle memory to know where everything was, while Charles hesitated.
He stopped himself in the middle of a plaza, hands placed on his wheels to move them again, but unmoving. His eyes fell to his lap, a weird feeling taking hold of him.
He stared at the fountain in the middle of the plaza, the innocuous monument standing there as its water made noise where the only sounds were of the steps against the pavement.
He stared at the fountain, the ghost of an enormous pain making itself present at the base of Charles' spine, right at the scar on his back, although he didn't know why.
He stared at the fountain again, looking at its grey more intensely, his breathing coming in short all of the sudden.
He stared at the fountain, and he saw a dark stain against the concrete it was made of, faded but there, as if it hadn't been able to be fully cleaned. He could almost see it was red.
-
Charles, the voice called, lovely. Worried. Charles, we'll get you back- I'll bring you back.
Yes, Charles thought back in his dream, longing hitting him like a wave. He felt almost desperate, trapped. Please.
The voice hesitated, silent, and Charles panicked, until it was back, strong and determined.
Wait for me, it said, right before Charles woke up with his heart clenched, tears falling from his eyes as he tried to understand what was happening.
Emotions, once again. Strong and painful.
He understood why they had been taken from him and the others — what a burden, to feel.
-
"And how are you feeling today, Charles?" Cassandra Nova asked, Charles' eyes widening ever so slightly as he realized the shift in the question.
In her eyes, Charles could see she knew about his little secret that he had been able to hide for the past month.
She seemed unhappy.
"I don't-"
"Don't lie to me, Charles," she demanded, her voice making Charles' body tense up for a second. "I know when emotions are active on someone. When were you planning to tell me?"
"I thought they'd go away…"
She smiled then, but it wasn't kind, it didn't seem natural.
"They never go. Not on their own at least," she said quietly, moving towards the cabinet in the corner to take a syringe. "But with a little help and time…"
-
Remember to exercise, the dull voice said in the speakers as Charles followed the instructor's orders, arms and torso sore from the exercise, his back starting to give signals that it would hurt later.
A healthy body makes a healthy mind, the voice kept going, monotone.
Charles didn't look at his reflection on the window pane, nor the world outside.
-
"Come with me, Charles," a blonde woman said, her face serious and voice commanding. Something in her face made something stir deep inside Charles, a fog being lifted from his mind slowly.
He stared at her clothes, seeing the insignia that showed she worked for the Leaders. He barely could notice how they didn't fit her right, too wide on the shoulders, cuffs pulled back to let her hands free, as if it was someone else's.
"Of course," he finally answered with a nod, seeing her nod back.
They walked away from Charles' building, Charles following her obediently towards one of the older buildings on the outskirts of town — unused now, too unstable for someone to live in according to Nova; even so, he didn't frown.
Inside, it smelled of dust and mold, the first reaction from Charles finally showing in the form of disgust, his nose itching, a quiet spark of a doubt making itself present in his mind.
They entered one of the lower apartments, the place dark with the dusk and without the aid of lights to make seeing what was there easier. Charles noticed, whoever, the silhouette of a man next to the glass pane, standing there before turning around to look at Charles.
From far away, Charles couldn't see his face, but the man's form made an ache take hold of his body and mind. When the man walked towards him, hurried and seemingly desperate, the ache almost turned into agony.
"Charles," the man said, and his voice — the voice, the sweet voice from his dreams, who asked him to wait for him.
When the man's lips touched his, the agony felt less painful, but panic took over again as he pushed the man away, staring at him wide-eyed.
"Who are you?" Charles asked, his voice barely leaving his mouth.
There was silence, the man staring at him with desperate eyes that Charles could now see better now that he was closer. The man's mouth was thin, his jaw sharp and hair a mess, a stubble over his cheeks — Charles felt the panic of not knowing who that man was mixing with the relief of seeing him, emotions running through him again, painfully, making Charles wish they'd stop.
"They made you forget," the man muttered, more to himself than to Charles, and Charles' brow finally furrowed, trying to understand what the man meant. "They took that away from you… Charles, you don't belong here…"
The man's hands moved gently, holding Charles' face as his thumbs brushed against the skin of Charles' cheeks. The touch was calming but too much at the same time.
"This place- Tell me… Where were you born?"
"I'm… Here, I was- I was born here."
When the man shook his head, Charles' frown deepened, a chill running through his body.
"You're from outside the Wall," the man gently said, Charles' body tensing up for a moment. "You're from far away, Charles Xavier. You found me here, and you took me out. But they got you-"
"No-"
"Yes," the man nodded, his eyes moving to the blonde woman for a moment. When Charles looked at her, she seemed to be crying. "Yes, my love, it's the truth."
"You saved people, Charles," the woman said, voice shaky. "We breached the Wall and woke them up, brought them outside the Wall, where they could live."
"But I-" Charles tried, feeling his breathing short. "My memories-"
"Do you trust them?" The man asked again, and he looked afraid of Charles' answer.
After a few seconds, after he realized the answer was "no", Charles let out a shuddering breath. The man seemed to do the same, although his was a sign of relief.
"Let me take you home," his voice was gentle now, thumbs once again caressing the skin of Charles' cheeks. "Come back with me. Come back to me."
Charles stared at that man, whose eyes seemed more familiar now than the view he'd see outside his window; whose touch brought Charles emotions he couldn't even name.
With a shaky breath, Charles nodded. The smile on the man's lips and the tears in his eyes showed him relief and happiness; the feeling of his lips against Charles' felt like a promise of home.
#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#cherik#raven darkholme#mystique#magneto#professor x#xmen#fanfic#writing
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Bad Batch x Jedi!Reader: Ghosts
(Author’s Note: I’m baaaacccck! I’ve had a rough few weeks and found almost no inspiration or motivation to write here, but I woke up this morning and felt like a new person. Thank you for waiting and for continuing to read, like, comment, and reblog!
Anyway, this was a request I received moons ago, and I just wanted to say to the Anon who requested that I did not forget about it and I’m so sorry for the wait. For real, thank you for the request, and I hope you like it.
OG Request: Can I request a bad batch and reader who was their sister, they were also a Jedi. But then order 66 happens and the bad batch tries to kill her but she escaped after being shot by crosshair. She ends up working with the ghost crew and meets up with them during rebels, she's almost scared of them. She also tears up seeing how much older the are
Warnings: blaster wound, some angst, fluff ending)
Got your back,” you growled, using your lightsaber to block some incoming shots. Hunter fired his blasters at the group of oncoming droids that headed toward you.
Wrecker was plowing through the enemy squads like it was nothing, giving an enthusiastic yell here and there. He paused to give you a thumbs-up with a gloved hand, and you grinned back. Crosshair was picking them off from his position off the immediate battlefield. He blasted one right in front of you.
“Nice shot!”
Tech was handling things just fine on his side. You moved past him to cut through a few droids nonetheless and exchanged nods of appreciation.
Just another day with the Bad Batch, the rogue squad that had come to be your family over the course of the war. You had adjusted to living life on the wild side- dangerous missions and poor odds. The group managed to get through each one, and you grew stronger.
This mission, to invade and destroy the Separatist base from the inside out, was a particularly risky one. But like the others, this one was going rather well.
Or it had been. Until Tech alerted Hunter of an incoming comm that was rather urgent.
You didn’t see who the transmission was from. You caught a glimpse of the blue form displaying on Tech’s comm before having to deal with an oncoming droid. You planted a thermal detonator and somersaulted away so it could blast the last of the droids, and you’d be ready to check in with your squad about the comm.
As the battlefield went dead silent after the fall of the final droid, there was a shift. That was the best way to describe the feeling. Something just wasn’t right. You glanced over to see Hunter and Tech standing perfectly still as they received the message. That’s when it hit you. Whatever it was, it was deadly, and you knew you needed to get your squad out of there.
You turned fully toward them, lips parting in the beginnings of a warning about the shift in your feelings. You could only hope they’d listen to you and get out in time without an argument. Your voice was cut off at the sight of three visors facing you with blasters aimed your way.
“Guys?” you called, eyes flickering to each of them. “Hunter? What’s going on?”
Two more visors, Crosshair’s and Echo’s, joined them. Cross kept his rifle ready at his shoulder, aimed at you as well. That’s when you realized they weren’t in danger. They were the danger.
“The jedi are traitors to the Republic,” Hunter’s voice echoed in the space between you. “By order of Sidious, they are to be executed for their crimes, and that includes you.”
“W-what?” You grasped your lightsaber tightly, not wanting to raise it and alarm them further. “I haven’t done anything. We’ve been fighting for the Republic. See those droids?” You nodded in that direction. “I cut them up myself with my lightsaber to protect the galaxy. We did it together.”
“Stop trying to reason with us,” Crosshair hissed. “You’re...a...traitor.” He hesitated, body quivering for a moment as his visor looked to the ground. Whatever cloud of confusion had settled on him, it was like he tried to fight it.
“It’s me,” you said. “It’s __________.”
Hunter’s body shook again before he aimed the blaster at you with resolve. “You heard Sidious, boys. Order 66 must be carried out.”
Searing pain traveled through your shoulder as you made a run for it, causing you to stumble. You spared a glance behind you to see the Bad Batch giving chase. Crosshair had actually shot you. A different kind of pain exploded in your chest at the betrayal. Even though you knew this Sidious was behind it all. Even though you knew it wasn’t the real Crosshair. It still hurt.
Despite the physical and emotional agony, you kept running. You deflected more blaster shots with your lightsaber, using your abilities to leap into the nearest ship. The presence of your closest allies began to fade as you took off, leaving to shoot at the vehicle to no avail.
Fortunately, you and the squad handled dangerous missions on your own without too much Republic assistance, so you were able to get into space without encountering any other soldiers. When things quieted down and you were faced with the blur of stars and planets outside the viewport, you shrank back in your seat from the weight of grief. For the first time, you allowed yourself to grieve. The life of a jedi was by no means easy, but you were trained for years to not give into such strong attachments to avoid the dark side’s pull.
This time, you let the tears fall for your squad. You let the sob rip through the lonely ship. It was a relief to cry, but not enough to dull the pain. It was like a fresh wound, raw and stinging.
“Crosshair, Hunter, Wrecker, Echo, Tech…” you cried their names, demanding an answer from no one in particular. Just then, a beep sounded amongst the ship controls that alerted you of an incoming message. You sniffled and answered, eyes widening at the sight of Jedi Obi Wan Kenobi.
“...I regret to inform you…”
- - - - - - - - -
“__________? What are you doing?” Ezra called. “We’ve got to go!”
You glanced his way from several feet away, holding up a hand as a signal for him to wait. Something felt off about this place. It was a feeling you hadn’t felt in a long time. A long time.
“Is this a jedi thing?” he asked, walking over. Despite being quite skilled and talented for one so young, he was still very early in his training with Kanan. Nothing could quell his curiosity, though.
You nodded. “There’s something...someone...here. I think I know them.”
“It’s just an old ship,” he shrugged. “It is a scrapyard, after all.”
It was a good point. The place looked rather abandoned to the naked eye, but you could see beyond appearances. There was more to this ship than just a heap of metal. Something felt oddly alive about it.
“I’m going to check it out,” you said.
“But Hera said-”
“Ezra,” you interrupted with as patient of a tone as you could muster. “I need to do this. I’ll be right back.” You took a few cautious steps forward only to hear him walking behind you. You peeked at him over your shoulder to see a determined expression on his face.
“If something really is going on, I’m not letting you go in there alone.”
“Ugh, fine,” You pretended to be annoyed, though deep down you were glad he was coming along. Something stirred inside you. You sensed a presence that you hadn’t in years. Could it be…? No, it couldn’t.
“__________?” The all-too-familiar voice called. A face popped out from the old ship. Even among the wrinkles and white hair, you recognized a piercing set of brown eyes. Your own eyes widened as your instincts took over, and you turned to bolt. “No, wait!”
“Stay back!” Ezra warned, hands raised to the figure that emerged from the ship quickly. A much taller figure stepped out, and this fellow threw his head back and laughed.
You froze in place, taking in the aged faces before you. None of them held the same conflict in their gaze as they had the last time you were with them. They held their hands up as a gesture that they carried no weapons.
“_________, it’s alright,” Echo called. “We mean you no harm.”
“Please, don’t go.” Hunter’s tone sounded so pleading; it made you want to cry. You did not sense any evil intent on their part. It was a good sign that they were no longer under Emperor Palpatine’s control. Over the years, you discovered what exactly had happened to your squad. Old Republic files you’d hacked revealed that something known as Order 66 had occurred, and you had pieced together the horrible plot to overthrow the jedi. Like the others, you had to stay hidden- even from the Bad Batch.
“How do I know this isn’t a trick?” you asked hesitantly.
Tech took a step forward, and you gripped the handle of your lightsaber as a warning not to approach. His eyes flickered to the weapon before he took a step back. “After Order 66, the new Empire retired us. I had quite a bit of free time, and while doing some research, I stumbled upon a report: it told me all about these biological chips.”
“And we removed them!” Wrecker said. He turned his head to the side, his pointer finger tapping on a scar on the bald skin. By then, you started walking towards them. You couldn’t believe how they had aged so much. You were in front of Crosshair first, reaching a hand up to touch his weathered face. He didn’t tense like he used to every time you accidentally brushed against him. As a matter of fact, he even smiled a little. Age had worn down his tough-guy act.
“It’s...good to see you,” he said.
Then, all at once, the tears started flowing. It was like you picked up right where you left off all those years ago. You threw your arms around him, and after a few moments of crying into his shoulder, you felt his arms come up to hold you comfortingly. “Cross...I missed you so much!”
“I missed you too.”
“Hey,” Wrecker grunted. “I missed you! Don’t I get a hug?”
You laughed through the tears and turned to give him a hug only to be lifted off the ground in a familiar, enveloping embrace- the kind only Wrecker could give. He set you down laughing with you, and you pulled Echo and Tech into a little group hug. They both smiled widely, Echo chuckling, as you pulled them tighter. Then, you were faced with an aged Hunter who looked conflicted. You could feel his warmth and happiness to see you, but he also carried guilt. You quickly wrapped your arms around him, and he hugged back.
“__________,” he murmured. “I’m...sorry-”
“Not another word,” you interrupted. “It wasn’t your fault. None of you are to blame.”
“But-”
“Not another word,” you insisted, flashing him a smile. He returned with a handsome grin that showed the old Hunter even through his aged appearance. It brought more tears to your eyes. “I’m so glad we all found our way back together.”
“Um, __________?” Ezra spoke up. He gave a shrug, confused about the interaction.
“I’ll explain,” you told him. “Bad Batch, this is my friend, Ezra. Him and I are members of a crew that does what it can to mess with the Empire.”
“Oh yeah?” Wrecker asked. “As soon as our chips were removed, that’s what we started doing.”
“Really?”
“Indeed, we’ve made significant progress,” Tech said.
“Well,” you sighed, resting a hand on his shoulder plate. “What do you say we regroup and mess with the Empire together?”
“I think…” Hunter stroked his chin in thought. “I think that sounds like a great idea.”
#clone wars#star wars: the clone wars#bad batch#star wars the bad batch#clone wars the bad batch#bad batch x reader#bad batch reader insert#star wars rebels#star wars reader insert#star wars#the clone wars reader insert#clone wars x reader#jedi!reader#bad batch x jedi!reader#tech#crosshair#hunter#echo#wrecker
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though you are no god - Frankie Morales x f!reader
This idea had been brewing for a while and hanging out in my drafts for a longer while, but I’ve finally found the inspiration to clean it up and share it! I am clearly a beginner at this and feedback/critique is always welcome.
Title: though you are no god (credit)
Pairing: Francisco Morales x f!reader. One use of the word “girl”.
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 3.3k
Content/warnings: brief mentions of nightmares and trauma recovery, angst, smut, still somehow the sappiest shit I’ve ever written. frankie likes to be praised. strictly 18+
ao3
••••••••
The first time you get to witness Francisco Morales fall to his knees in front of you, you almost don't remember it happening.
His mouth presses hot and wet and urgent against your skin where he is bunching up your shirt to expose it. You are nearly as drunk as him, blindly pulling it off and throwing it somewhere behind him. The wall behind you is cool but does absolutely fuck-all to clear your head because oh god his hands are big and warm and his tongue is incessant and oh god this is Frankie, your goofy, kind, awkward, hot as fuck friend-of-a-friend. He pulls you forward a fraction just to tug on your pants and underwear, letting them gather around your feet without giving you the leg room to step out of them. He lifts your left leg over his shoulder with ease, and then his hands are bracing him against you and his tongue is working as if it has a mind of its own, circling your clit and sliding up your lips and you don't remember his fingers being that thick but somehow they are and you are close to going insane.
Maybe tomorrow you'll wonder how you ended up here, in a hallway in his apartment where he barely bothered to turn the lights on before pressing himself into you, effectively shutting off any sane connection you might have still retained to the world after however-many drinks you two had got in you. The night was supposed to be about Santi, you vaguely recall, but right now you honest to god cannot even remember what promotion he got that you were supposed to be celebrating. You might have made a mental note to apologize to him for leaving his party early, but Frankie adds another finger to your wet cunt and moans like it's pleasuring him more than you, and it's a real effort not to kick him in the chest or collapse on him then and there.
The fucker laughs as if he knows exactly what he's doing to you, and somehow increases his efforts to a degree you hadn't thought possible. It doesn't take much after that for you to feel that knot tightening in your belly, the electricity of it making your limbs shake. Only when he’s satisfied making you cum thoroughly on his tongue and his hand does he stand up, and for the first time since you got here, he speaks. "Hi," he says, the loopiest grin on his face, before leaning forward to kiss you without waiting for you to answer.
Your last remaining brain cell thinks to itself, this is going to be one hell of a night.
••••
The second time Frankie Morales falls to his knees in front of you, you can barely bring yourself to look at him.
It's been weeks (months?) since he practically fell off the grid, following your childhood best friend and designated bad-idea-haver Santiago Garcia into the guts of South America. You had reached the point where a part of you was bracing itself for the worst kind of news, of never getting to see your boys again or hell, not even knowing what the fuck happened to them down there. The rest of you was still holding on to your anger in a misplaced effort to stay hopeful, refusing to let you feel anything other than the need to wring their necks as soon as one of them walked back in the door. And that was it, the majority of your days spent getting on edge every time your phone rang or you felt you saw a familiar set of messy curls pass you by on the street, until you walked home one day to find him standing outside your door, hand poised to knock but hesitant.
"What the fuck?" the words escape you before you can help it, and he nearly jumps out of his skin. When he turns to look at you coming up behind him, you almost stop in shock at how absolutely shit he looks. "What the fuck?" you say again, seeming to have lost all your vocabulary at the sight of this stupid infuriating beautiful man finally standing in front of you in one piece, messy curls and all.
An eternity passes with the two of you simply staring at each other, your grocery bags forgotten in your hands and his fingers twitching in an effort to keep them to himself. The smell of fresh bread wafting from your grocery bag does little to alleviate any tension, and the silence is almost painful. You want to do something, say something of all the rage and hurt you've nursed in you at being left alone. How dare you, you want to bark at him, want to hold him by the collar and smack him or kiss his face raw.
You must take too long in your own head because he carefully extends a hand toward you, but you are so over-stimulated at the mere sight of him that you flinch.
That's what breaks him, you realize later when the storms have passed and the proverbial rivers have calmed. Not the pain and loss and grief of the mission - things he'll whisper into your chest when you let him - and not the physical battering he must have taken through it all. What breaks him is you flinching away from him, as if you'd forgotten who he was. It’s only me, it's your Frankie, he wants to scream; wants to gather you in his arms and breathe into your ribs. But all he can do is fall to the ground and plead with his eyes.
I'm sorry, mi alma he seems to be saying, and the sight of this glorious man breaking down in front of your doorstep makes you ache in the depths of your bones. You rush forward, all your anger evaporating away from you in the instant it takes to wrap your arms around him and let him rest his head on your stomach. The position is awkward at best. His touch feels almost alien and his hair doesn't smell like you're used to, but you let him cry, let him ruin the clothes you hadn’t given much thought to anyway, and it doesn't occur to either of you that the shirt is one of his that he'd left at your place.
You choke back the ocean rising in your throat, not knowing how to navigate everything you're feeling at the same time. Will we ever be okay? you wonder, your entire body feeling numb as he holds you just the tiniest bit more tightly.
You don't know then if you'll ever forgive him, and he doesn't know if he'll ever be the same man again, but right there in that moment none of it matters. What matters is that he is here, and you are holding him like you'd wished and prayed for in all those lonely nights. Maybe you'll never be okay like you used to be, but you have him for now, and you're too exhausted to think beyond that.
••••
The third time, it's fucking magical.
You and your Frankie have finally settled into a somewhat stable routine. After he left you with the promise to get his shit together, he made good on his word. It seemed as if the mission that must not be named put things into perspective for him - and for you, for that matter - and the two of you decided to give up on the delicate dance you kept orchestrating around each other. You had realized that you needed him much more than you could ever resent him for leaving, and he had realized he never wanted to feel the paralysing fear of thinking he'd never make it back to you again. You two had decided to sit down like adults and talk about it, and Frankie’s regular visits to his therapist had certainly helped.
Now, in the early morning light in your shared bedroom, he looks the very picture of calm. The birds chirp softly outside the window, blending in with the music of the traffic that you two have begrudgingly come to love. The nightmares haven't left him completely, but they're less frequent and far less incapacitating for him. You feel a rush of pride for how far he's come, how much effort he put into building himself back up piece by piece after being shattered to his bare bones. You’ve seen him curl into you out of fear and into himself during the moments of self loathing when he feels he doesn't deserve your kindness, but now he sleeps with his head tilted slightly upward, exposing the beautiful planes of his neck to you. He is beautiful, you've known it for as long as you've known him, but something about the soft sunlight turning his curls golden and the way you can tell he's truly at peace in this moment, brings tears to your eyes and makes your throat clench.
You lean up on your elbow and touch his face. His skin is soft, and he smells faintly of your body wash. Thief, you think fondly, brushing his unruly hair away from his forehead. he had stopped cutting it as frequently as he used to because he noticed you liked running your hands through it, and you realize with a jolt that that had been years ago, long before you two had any conversation about the future, even before he had his world turned upside down in the depths of an unnamed jungle. That is when you realize that Francisco Morales told you he loved you long before you had the sense to understand it, and this time you do cry.
He stirs in his sleep. You briefly worry that you woke him, but he simply turns his head and nuzzles into the crook of your neck, breathing deeply at your shoulder before falling back asleep. The feeling of his soft breaths against your skin makes you smile, and you feel yourself falling more in love with every one of them.
He wakes you up hours later with gentle kisses and the promise of pancakes, making you giggle with the way his moustache tickles your chin. When you find him in the kitchen later he seems more chipper than usual, smelling like a bakery and humming softly while setting the table for two. He greets you with a sweet kiss and pulls out your chair for you before sitting down in his own.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?” you ask playfully, and he smiles wide behind his glasses that you’d finally convinced him he needed. Beautiful man, you can't help but think.
"Just wanted to do something nice for my girl," he answers with his mouth full and you flick a berry at him, which he expertly catches. "Oh so that's how it's gonna be," he puts down his fork and you start to run away, but he is far too quick. He catches you by your waist and pulls you into his chest, licking your cheek obscenely.
"Frankie, you dog!" you giggle, still fighting his grip.
"Dogs are cute," he shrugs, seemingly unfazed against you using all your force. He is gentle as anything with you, but he sure likes to show off his strength every once in a while. He lifts you effortlessly off the floor and sets you on the counter. "You think I'm cute?" he wiggles his eyebrows.
You almost playfully call him insufferable on autopilot, the way you've always bantered since you've known him. But you're aware now how he relies on verbal affirmations, and you've been making a conscious effort of supplying them whenever you can. So instead you hold his face in your palms and tell him that you think he's the most wonderful man in the world, and that you love him more than anything.
"Baby," he drops his head to your shoulder and sighs. You do this to him, making his heart swell and threaten to burst out of his ribs. He doesn't have the words, doesn't know how to tell you he feels like the luckiest man in the world every morning when he wakes up next to you, every time he hears your voice or feels your palm in his. He doesn't know how to tell you you've been his anchor and his best friend, or how he can't believe he gets to have this kind of domestic bliss at all. "Baby," he repeats, "I love you."
You try to deepen the kiss he initiates, but he pulls back and tells you he has plans for the day, telling you to get dressed for something outdoors. You feel a rush of happiness at the thought of him feeling more and more like himself with every day that passes, picking up old habits and finding joy in them. You kiss his cheek and run off to get dressed, beyond excited to see what he had planned.
The ride to the field is longer than you expected. Frankie has turned the radio on and it plays softly in the background as you two talk occasionally. It’s a calm morning, with the perfect weather that's neither too cold nor too warm. He lifts your hand to his lips and kisses it softly once he's parked, and then he hops out and opens your door for you.
"Such a gentleman," you tease.
"Yeah," is all he says before he's kissing you breathless against the truck. It takes you by surprise, but it's far from unwelcome.
Your hands come to rest on his shoulders, and you can tell it takes a special amount of effort for him to pull away from you, his hands still holding you close as he pulls on yours and leads you deeper into the field. The grass is high enough to tickle your ankles, and the whisper of it against your skin feels wonderful. He slows down, the pace leisurely enough for you to appreciate the wildflowers growing around you. He’s careful not to step on any, and you're struck once again by the multitudes that exist within this one man. The same man who has confessed to sins you could never have thought him capable of, now so careful with a thing as gentle as a dandelion. You think about his hand that is so gentle in yours, and the memory of it firmly wrapping around your throat as he does unspeakable things to you makes you blush, and you will yourself to come back to the present.
Frankie has led you to a tree, and you notice a tree house resting on the sturdier branches. It’s new, you realize, and look at him quizzically.
"Remember how I was supposed to pick up new hobbies?" he says sheepishly, gently leading you around to the other side where you see wooden footrests leading up. He urges you to climb up, and you are still so surprised that you can only obey.
"I thought you'd like this," he's saying. "It can be our secret place, we come here whenever we want. Not that we don't already have a home and privacy but I thought this could be nice to have. Like a little getaway close to home." He's rambling now, as you notice all the fine details he has paid attention to in the construction of it.
"Honey? Do you like it?" he asks when you've been too quiet.
"Do I like it?" you ask incredulously. "Francisco Morales, this is amazing!"
He immediately breaks into a wide grin, and you can see that he is proud of himself. He looks almost like an eager child, and you love the way his eyes shine in that moment.
"There's one more thing," he leads you to a small opening in the wall that serves as a window. You can see the clear sky and the field stretching out under you, and the cool breeze feels like a gentle caress. It's a beautiful view, and you lose yourself in the sights and smells for a moment.
"So am I looking at something specific?" you ask, wondering what it was he wanted to show you.
He doesn't answer, though, and you turn around to repeat the question. The sight that meets you nearly knocks you off your feet, and you cover your gasp with your hand.
Frankie is on one knee, hat resting by his feet and hand extended, holding the most gorgeous ring you have ever laid eyes on. You might be biased, but you couldn't care less.
"Darling, I-" he starts, but you don't have the self control that he apparently does, and you throw your arms around him.
He wraps tightly around you, only letting you have enough room to look up and kiss him. And god do you kiss him. You kiss him like he has never been kissed before, like you could pour every ounce of affection you have for him into that one moment, needing him as close to you as possible.
You don't realise you're crying until he kisses the tears off your cheeks, and then he lifts your hand and slides the ring on.
••••
The fourth time comes that night, after you've spent your day in the field, holding on to each other and bursting with mutual joy.
He sits you down on the bed, and kneels in front of you, kissing your shoulders gently. "Hey, Mrs. Morales," he smiles as he says it, even as he's biting the soft skin at your clavicle.
You laugh, telling him that’s not how engagement rings work. He only grins against your skin and bites harder.
You scratch his head and he purrs, lifting his head briefly to give you a sweet kiss before he's pushing you to lie down. Let me take care of you, honey, he whispers. Then his hands are on your waist and his mouth is on your chest, making you writhe in place. He kisses and sucks and bites, making sure to give every part of you equal attention. So beautiful, he's talking almost to himself as he leaves a wet trail of kisses down to your tummy.
His hands meanwhile touch and grab and smooth over any part they can reach, moving as if of their own volition. He knows your body so well that he can map it with his eyes closed, can recognize it with his last breaths. He reaches your cunt and pulls you closer, closer, inhaling deeply and groaning like he's hardly staying in control.
With the same patience he had displayed earlier in the day he teases you mercilessly, kissing around where you need him most. You pull on his hair and he tuts and bites your thigh. What did I say, baby - a flick of his tongue against you - let me take care of you. You whine petulantly, and he tells you to be a good girl for him. He even says please, the asshole.
The first lick against your clit comes at the same time as his finger pushes into you, and it takes everything you have not to lift off the bed. So wet for me, he moans against you, the vibration making your pleasure amplify. You fist the sheets around you, telling him how fucking good he's making you feel, how good he always makes you feel. The praise fuels him on and he pushes two more fingers into you at the same time.
You are so full and so stimulated with his tongue incessant against your clit, and he has no plans of letting up. You feel your orgasm hit you quick and hard, and you can barely warn him before you're gushing, soaking his face and trying to pull away from the overstimulation.
He looks up at you, grinning like the Cheshire cat. He licks you clean until you're begging him to stop, and then he patiently kisses his way back up your body.
"That was... that was amazing," you're out of breath as you say it, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him in to taste yourself.
"Oh honey," he coos. "I've barely started."
•••
fin.
Tagging some lovely mutuals whom I love and who are amazing writers: @disgruntledspacedad @pedropascaldice @frannyzooey. Please let me know if you don’t want to be tagged in the future (if there is a future) ❤️
#triple frontier fic#frankie morales x reader#frankie morales x f!reader#frankie morales smut#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal x reader#not rpf#yes im on hiatus yes i wrote a fic#we exist#and did i mention i've never seen the movie 🙂
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The Aftermath
Chapter 1: Consciousness
Sanemi Shinazugawa/Reader (F)
You find yourself alive at the Butterfly Estate beside your closest friend after the final battle against Muzan Kibutsuji. You both are hurting over the loss of your comrades, so you must find a way to comfort each other.
**THIS SHORT STORY CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE END OF THE DEMON SLAYER MANGA. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED THE MANGA.**
Tags/warnings: Shared trauma, angst, survivors guilt, slight tw, comfort, slight fluff, reader is a Hashira
You can also read here on Ao3. Enjoy!
It’s not your time yet, young one, you still have a long journey ahead of you.
Be sure to live a life that will inspire others every day, please know that I will always love you.
We will always be here, watching you, waiting for you. We know you will do great, we are so proud of you, Y/N. Live on.
✾✾
Rain pattering gently against the window stirred you from your dreams. You blinked a few times as you peeled your eyelids apart, feeling the discomfort of the built-up eye-crusts that had grown as you slept for the past few days, to which you didn’t realize just yet. Your mouth felt dry as you slowly smacked your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Your tongue felt swollen. Staring up at the dimly lit, wooden ceiling of the building that protected you from the rain outside, you took a few moments to try to recall where exactly you were. You remained in a numb physical state, or so it felt; you just needed to fully wake up. When you did, all of the memories came flooding back.
You tried to pull yourself upright in the bed you found yourself on, but immediately froze as the pain shocked and ran through every nerve in your body. You shut your eye and let out a sharp inhale through your gritted teeth that interrupted the silence of the room, trying to ease the pain. It was then that you realized your left eye was covered. Slowly, you brought your bandaged hand up to your face, pressing your scarred fingertips to your cheek. Your head had been wrapped several times with a bandage that ran at a slight angle across your face and over your eye.
It was a long, final battle between the demon slayer corps and the demons. The war that was fought for centuries, even millennia, had finally been won, and because you remembered your victory, you were able to slump peacefully back into the bed you laid upon. You laid for a few long moments, the ringing in your ears starting to fade away, allowing you to finally relish in the serene sounds of the rain against the roof.
“You’re finally awake,” came a familiar voice to your left. You hesitated for a moment, tears welling up in your uncovered eye, realizing who the voice belonged to.
You slowly turned your head towards the voice before gasping out his name, “Shinazugawa-san?”
He met your alarmed gaze with a kind smile that made your heart feel warm and fuzzy, and it just might have been enough to cure the aches among the rest of your worn-out body. You wanted to tear the blanket right off of your figure and throw yourself upon him in a triumphant embrace, you wanted to bury your face into his neck and cry, but neither of you were in any physical condition for that.
Your fellow Hashira lay sitting up in his bed, covered in bandages from head to torso, arms to shoulders. He was certainly in a rougher state than you, but for good reason. Sanemi Shinazugawa risked his life for the sake of humanity against the demons, and the most feared of all, Muzan Kibutsuji. He was ruthless in every battle he’s fought, but until he butted heads with Kibutsuji, you’d never seen him so merciless. At the end of the fight, you were sure he’d never pull through. Before you passed out from exhaustion and blood loss, you caught a glimpse of his bloodied figure sprawled across the ground. The last thing you saw was Kibutsuji crumbling away, and with that sight you allowed yourself to finally drift off, to that you imagined would be death.
But it wasn't.
Instead, you woke up next to the man whom you’ve come a long way to care so much about. He was such a tough nut to crack, but you and Sanemi had become so close, and you were sure that you’d meet him in the afterlife along with many others, but rather, you woke up just a few feet away from him at the Butterfly Estate. With that you were beyond thankful at another chance. This time you were sure that you’d tell him how you’d truly feel. Now, finally, you’ll be able to express to Sanemi how important he is to you without any worry of an unexpected end, unlike the last time you opened your heart to someone.
“I’m surprised, you slept longer than I,” he continued. “I was thinking for sure that I’d never wake up, and instead I woke up to you still napping.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle at his comment. You figured he was trying to make a lighthearted joke, so you thought you’d at least react somehow. “I’m sorry, I thought I wouldn’t make it either.”
“You’re a tough girl, I knew you’d be just fine, unlike the others,” he slightly turned his gaze to the floor, a solemn expression curtaining his face.
Before you could ask, three Kakushi rushed into the room that you and Sanemi were resting in, audible gasps coming from behind their masks.
“S-She’s awake!” one cried as he ran out of the room. The other two hurried to your side to take your vitals.
“Please sit back L/N-sama, don’t strain yourself!”
“Yes, your wounds are still fresh and healing, don’t try to move until the nurses arrive!”
✾✾
Hours later, your bandages were rewrapped after you enjoyed a nice bath with the help of the Kakushi. They had given you an extraordinary painkilling formula that had been invented by Shinobu Kocho, the Insect Hashira and outstanding pharmaceutical expert, prior to her death. It was almost as if she created the formula in preparation of Kibutsuji’s attack. You had learned of the deaths of many, including the other remaining Hashira, with the exception of Sanemi and Giyuu Tomioka. You prayed to them as you sat in the bath after the Kakushi gave you some time to soak alone. You cried, for they weren’t as lucky as you to be able to know a world without demons, to know a world in which you could live free. However, each and every life that was lost during the battle against Muzan Kibutsuji belonged to those who fought valiantly and believed in the freedom that you were so fortunate to experience.
It was evening now, and the rain had finally stopped. The colorful pastel clouds were moving out of sight, and the falling sun gleamed brilliantly between the damp leaves of the trees it tried to hide behind. The dew drops sparkled against the rays before they each slid off of the leaves at their own individual pace. You slowly walked yourself outdoors to the engawa, which is where you found Sanemi. He was sitting by himself, a single leg hanging off of the engawa edge while his other was propped up in front of him. You’d never seen him so quiet and peaceful looking, even with his back towards you. You didn’t want to startle him or disrupt his alone time, but you wanted to talk to him. You wanted to know what he was thinking; what was going through that mind of his?
“Shinazugawa-san,” your voice gently hit the breeze, carrying your greeting to his ears. His head slightly perked up, but his gaze remained forward. He didn’t respond, but rather patted the wood floor beside him. After a moment of noticing his gesture, you stepped forward to slowly lower yourself next to him, gritting your teeth to suppress any signs of pain from your injuries. Once seated beside your friend, you glanced out of the side of your eye to see a single tear rolling down his cheek. The sight punctured your very soul. After all these years, training and fighting beside this battle-hardened man, you never thought you’d see him cry. Of course, he lost his younger brother during the battle, so it seemed he was taking this time to grieve; you were just surprised that he allowed you so close to be able to see him in such a state.
“Genya would have liked this view, don’t you think?” Sanemi broke the silence, fighting away the cracking of his voice. “When we were kids, we would always watch the sun set in the evening. It was one of the things that really helped us forget how shitty the world was for us back in those days. Seeing his bright, wide eyes and that happy expression was what pushed me to continue forward every time. But now…” he finally turned away, wiping his remaining tears with his sleeves. “I just wish he could be here to see it, to see the sun set in a world where we don’t have to fight for our lives anymore.”
You didn’t know how to respond. It seemed as if the best option would be to let him talk and express how he was feeling. It was, after all, better than him bottling things up, similar to what he’s done for his entire life. Genya wasn’t the only person that Sanemi has lost. You couldn’t forget what he had told you about, what had happened to his family, what he had to do to protect Genya way back then. He’s lost family, friends, others… And you did too, but this wasn’t about you. Right now, you had to comfort someone who was very dear to you.
“I wish he was here too,” you spoke, leaning yourself towards him to rest a hand upon his shoulder. You hoped your gesture would help ease him. “I wish… everyone was here. Our families, our friends,” you lowered your head for a moment in respect, saying a silent prayer for those who had been lost. When you looked back up you found that he had turned to your direction, and you locked eyes with him. His expression was absolutely pitiful. You could feel him tense up when you began to involuntarily squeeze his shoulder faintly. “But we must live on. Live on for them, or else their sacrifices would not be worth anything. Please, Shinazugawa-san, know this,” you rested your other hand upon his, which was laying atop his lap. “Every person that you have ever loved is always watching over you, and they are so proud of you, including myself,” you smiled warmly as you concluded your words of reassurance.
Trapped in each other’s watery eyes, there was a sure understanding between you both. You knew how he felt, and he knew that of you. Ever so gently, Sanemi leaned forward to rest his forehead upon yours. His hand reached up and rested behind your head, pressing you even closer to him. As you both sat there beneath the dimming purple skies, you quietly thanked whatever higher beings allowed you both to survive hell and finally find paradise. Stars began peeking through the pastel-colored atmosphere, and the air felt fresher than it ever had before. You both shared a smile.
“Thank you for everything, L/N-san.”
✾✾
#shinaguzawa sanemi#sanemi shinaguzawa#sanemi#shinazugawa#sanemi shinazugawa x reader#kny x reader#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#fanfic#angst#comfort#fluff
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❝ at the rooftop / myg.
━ ・ paring: aspiring rapper!min yoongi x reader. ━ ・ genre: neighbors au, smut, fluff, with a pinch of angst. ━ ・ word count: 5.0k. ━ ・ contains: mutual pining, dirty talk, unprotective sex (wrap it before you tap it!), rooftop sex, and a little bit of sadness at the end. ━ ・ summary: in which you look back at the memories you’ve made with yoongi, the neighbor who you once fell in love with. heavily inspired by the song ‘the one that got away.’
author’s note: i had a dream about this so... here it is. LMAO. it’s been i while since i last wrote so excuse my rambling but happy reading! i thought about making a mini series out of this but... we’ll see. <3
The day you first met Min Yoongi was a memory you always looked fondly back at.
It happened one gloomy afternoon. After another tiresome day at work, you decided to find solace on your apartment building’s rooftop—a place that easily became your go-to whenever you wanted to spend time in solitude. No one ever really was up there (with the exception of the parties thrown by residents from time to time), so it was always strange seeing someone else who wasn’t you up there.
There was something about that place that brings you so much comfort. Maybe it was the string lights that hang perfectly across the ledges, the mixture of house plants displayed around the area, or the inviting smell of vanilla greeting your nose from the candles on almost every surface—it was nice. If the chance presented itself, you would be there for hours on end doing nothing and be content with it.
Making your way towards the rattan sofa that sat right beside the ledge, your tracks were suddenly put to a stop upon seeing an unfamiliar face sitting at that very same spot. He was leaning back on one side of the off-white cushion, legs slightly spread apart, chilled bottle of beer in hand as his eyes gaze absentmindedly at the view of the city skyline beside him. He must’ve been so lost in thought, because even with you standing in front of him, he didn’t move.
“Is that seat taken?” you asked amidst the silence while feigning a warm smile.
That was enough for him to finally snap out of his trance, because you could see him jump from his spot and immediately straighten his posture. You couldn’t help but stifle a soft laugh. “No—no, yeah, no. It’s not. I was getting ready to leave anyway, so—” he was already beginning to stand from where he was sitting, obviously flustered at the situation he’s been put in.
“I don’t mind sharing!” you interjected before impulsively placing a hand on the stranger’s arm as some sort of reassurance. At the realization, your eyes began to grow two times its size, and you retracted it at an instant with your cheeks flushed.
It was silent for a moment. Between you trying to gage how he felt about the sudden contact and him wondering what the fuck just happened, it clearly triggered some sort of fight of flight response. Your mind was scrambling, trying to find the right thing to say, but before you could even open your mouth—
He laughed. It was a low, yet bubbly laugh—one that you never thought would eventually fall in love with. As the lights above perfectly illuminated his features, that moment was also the first time you saw him smile. There was something stirring up within you, a feeling that gave you so much warmth from merely watching this stranger express happiness, even if it was for a brief moment.
In fact, it was so contagious that you began to laugh too.
You didn’t think you’d enjoy being comfortable with silence until you met Yoongi. Despite the fact that you spent a majority of that evening sitting in silence, it didn’t bother you at all. In most instances with others, you almost always felt obligated to say something, anything after a while but you didn’t feel that pressure with him—this stranger that you’ve only met three hours ago.
Still, you basked in the moment. The two of you sat together on that large couch, sharing the view. You were sitting with your legs criss-crossed, both arms resting over them, while Yoongi relaxed by sinking deeper into the cushion, one arm resting on the couch’s back—which was also right behind yours. You immediately learned that he, unlike yourself, wasn’t much of a talker. In the few hours you’ve spent with him on the rooftop, you’ve only learned: his name, age, and the fact that he moved into this building just today. Why? That was a mystery you’ve yet to discover. You also didn’t want to be that person who practically interrogates the new guy, trying to discover his whole life story in the span of one night. If he was living in the same building, you were confident you’d see him around from time to time anyway. Besides, it was evident that the two of you were already comfortable with each other’s presence.
“What kind of music do you listen to?” The question took you by surprise. From staring at the skyline, he then glanced back at you, eyebrow slightly cocked.
It took you a minute to think of something. If Yoongi was the type of person who took people’s music tastes seriously, you wanted to make sure you’d give a solid response—but then again, you wanted to avoid an obvious copout answer either. Truth be told, your music taste was all over the place. Shuffling any of your Spotify playlists was a dangerous game, because it could jump from contrasting genres that wouldn’t make any sense.
So you kind of… panicked.
“I like anything,” you blurted out, already regretting your choice of words. Deep inside, you were cringing, because it left a bad taste in your mouth.
You knew he was going to be disapproving of that answer, but he surprised you with a different reaction instead. Instead, he let out a small chuckle. “Anything, huh? What about rap? I have something I want you to listen to.”
Intrigued, you adjusted your position on the couch, eyes watching him as he shuffled to get his phone out of his pocket. The black, chunky headphones that hugged his neck were then offered to you, and you flashed a small grin upon taking it before putting it on yourself. At this point you were curious. So, your prying set of eyes continued to watch his phone’s screen as he scrolled through a list of what seemed to be recordings until selecting a file that was named Trivia 轉: Seesaw.
You weren’t sure what to expect. Initially, you thought this was some random song recommendation that he wanted to share with you, but it was much more than that. The moment you heard the artist of this track begin to sing the first verse, you were left in shock. “Is this you?” you mouthed quietly over to him, who to your surprise, was now sitting incredibly close to you. It took you a minute to notice the way that your knees were pressed against one another, faces inches apart.
He smiled bashfully with a nod. Truth be told, you didn’t expect it. Yet, you were sitting there, head nodding to the beat as the melody graced your ears. Despite only knowing him for only three hours, you knew that there was something about this song that… suited him so well. You weren’t sure if it was the eloquent rapping or the deep lyrics behind it, it all screamed Yoongi.
And you were in love with it. It became one of your favorite things to listen to.
“I can’t believe…” you trailed off once the song finished, gently lifting the headphones off of you to give them back. “I went on with my life without being blessed by this song until now. Yoongi, that was fucking amazing. If I knew you longer, I would’ve started crying but… I spared you the misery tonight.”
He rolled his eyes with a smile, flattered—but feeling shy at the same time. “Relax, ____, you don’t have to kiss my ass. I can take criticism. It hasn’t even been released yet; I just wanted to get your opinion on it.” Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he looked at you expectantly. “Tell me the truth.”
“I’m serious, Yoongi. I swear on my life,” you assured softly, a smile growing across your lips as your hand raises to swear by it. “It’s definitely one of those songs that people are going to play on repeat. Everyone’s going to love it.”
“Yeah?” he asked, attempting to hide his widening grin.
At this point your gazes were locked with one another, and you could’ve sworn he could hear the rampant beating of your heart. “Yeah,” you confidently answered back.
Later that night was the time you discovered that Min Yoongi was actually your newfound neighbor. It all happened by accident—the two of you meant to part ways after leaving the rooftop, but ended up taking the same flight of stairs down, walking through the same hallway, and stopping right next to each other after saying “bye” at the same time upon reaching both of your doors.
“Stalking me already? Really?” you quipped playfully, looking back after opening your door.
“How do I know you’re not stalking me first?” he joked in return, suggestively raising an eyebrow. He finished unlocking his own door too.
“I mean, I lived here first, so… pack it up Joe from You.” And your answer was enough for the two of you to fall into a giggling fit after.
Yoongi was the first to say goodbye. He continued to stand before his door, hand on the knob despite not wanting to step inside any time soon. “Thanks for letting me crash your alone time today... and for listening to my shitty music. It was nice.”
“Of course,” you replied warmly. “I won’t argue with you, but know that as of today, I’ve become Suga’s #1 fan. Expect me to be in the front row of your shows from now on.”
Even with the roll of his eyes, you could clearly tell that he was amused. “Night, _____. Just don’t fall in love with me, alright? I don’t date fans.”
“Sweet dreams, neighbor. And don’t worry, I don’t plan on falling in love with you any time soon.”
Yet somewhere along the way, you found yourself falling in love.
He’d been your neighbor for a few months now, and the two of you practically became attached to the hip. You later learned that when he first moved into the city, he didn’t expect to make any sort of friends. Yoongi only planned on making music 24/7—hoping to kickstart his music career after some time. Apparently, before he moved into your building, he was working in some financial firm crunching numbers for eight hours straight. He was engaged too. But, when he revealed to his fiancée (now ex fiancée) that he wanted to quit his job and pursue music… she didn’t take it very well. So, they later separated and Yoongi searched for a new beginning in a city miles away from everything he once knew.
Unlike his ex, you strove to become extremely supportive of his music career. In fact, he was supportive of your teaching career too. On Wednesday mornings, he would always volunteer to come into your classroom and sing a few songs in front of your kindergarten students during circle time. He’d also stay to read a book or two before heading out to get lunch—only to wait for your break so that the two of you could eat together. Then on Friday nights, you would be standing front row in his shows. While his venues were mostly at nightclubs and the city nightlife wasn’t your thing, you were still there—singing along to his music and at times making the best attempt to rap as fast as he could. You’d wait for him by the back after his set, and it became a tradition to head to the nearest convenience store to fill up on ramen, alcohol, and shrimp chips (a staple for every night in).
It was hard not to fall for someone like Yoongi. There was just something about him that you absolutely adored, and even though you were sure he didn’t reciprocate those feelings in that way, you were okay with that. Having him be a part of your life was enough.
The two of you always joked about it though, how you were each other’s soulmates. How one would always complete the other; plus, sharing this sort of mutual understanding that doesn’t need to be talked about. You’ve never felt this strong pull with anyone else, and he’s admitted it too.
“There she is,” you heard the familiar voice coo from afar. Looking up from your phone, you spotted Yoongi leaving through the back door of the nightclub, approaching as if you were the one who just finished performing a show. Still, the grin on your lips couldn’t stop spreading at the sight of him.
“Oh my god, Suga! I’m like, your biggest fan! Can I get a picture?!” you shrieked, attempting to put on your best impression of the teenage girls who’ve been approaching him often lately. Even with all of his shows taking place in venues that only allowed people over the age of twenty, he still harbored a lot of young fans. While they weren’t allowed to watch his shows, they showed their support in other ways.
He rolled his eyes but attained the beaming smile swept across his lips. In all the time you’ve known him, you’ve discovered that Yoongi was never really one to crack a smile with others. But with you? You were the only exception to that.
His skin was glistening from the beads of sweat that trickled down after performing, and you took it upon yourself to gingerly sweep his coffee-colored bangs off of his face with your fingers. He was staring at you at this point, and you were desperately trying to keep it together without melting into putty in his hands. Because one thing’s for sure—the way he looks at you will always be your weakness. “What?” you challenged, now using a tissue you pulled from your bag to lightly dab his facial features. Your voice was faint, quiet enough to still be heard with your faces only inches apart.
“Nothing,” he replied lowly, stifling a small laugh. “I like looking at you.”
After another successful trip to the convenience store, you and Yoongi went back home to change into more comfortable clothes before meeting back up at the rooftop. It was nearing midnight, so the city was getting ready to turn in. The buildings gradually began to turn their lights off, which only made the stars littered across the night sky shine brighter than before. The rooftop was well-lit thanks to the string lights and candles around you, and even with the cool December breeze sweeping through, you were comfy underneath the plush blanket that wrapped around both of your bodies.
It was nights like this that you held special to your heart.
“Be honest with me,” Yoongi brought up amidst the comfortable silence. He placed the plastic bowl that held his ramen onto the coffee table in front of him before looking back at you. “Do you think I made a mistake? You know… leaving everything in my old life behind to do this? I mean—don’t get me wrong, I love it, I just… feel guilty. There’s always this voice in the back of my head that’s yelling at me for being selfish. My life was fine before, you know? I screwed it all up.”
You blinked slowly. It wasn’t the first time he’d shared his doubts with you, but it was always concerning how much it lingered in his head. At the end of the day, what’s done is done. No matter how many times he feels guilty, he shouldn’t look back anymore. This was his life now.
But how could you put it into words that’ll make him understand?
Finishing your food after setting your own bowl down, you took a moment to process everything and think of an answer. You knew very well that you weren’t some licensed therapist capable of giving credited advice, but you were fairly decent at providing comfort to others. “I don’t think so,” you finally replied, keeping your gaze on him steady. “You have to think about it this way, Yoongi. Yeah you were fine before, but… were you happy? Like, actually happy? And are you happy now?”
Those questions left Yoongi speechless. He really took the time to ponder on it, chewing on his bottom lip in thought. You tried to read his expressions, though, it wasn’t any help. It was quiet. Aside from the soft music playing in the background from the small bluetooth speaker that sat on the ledge, the silence that simmered between you two was piercing.
“I guess I wasn’t,” he breathed after a short sigh. “I was miserable.”
You felt his pain at that moment. There was something about the way he said it—how it made your heart wrench and your stomach churn. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay, it’s not your fault,” he waved it off, and you could sense the slight frustration in his tone. “If anything, meeting you made everything better.”
Biting back a smile, you instantly began to feel the heat rush through your cheeks. Your chest was pounding and your head was dizzy—shocked at how those little words could make your head go haywire. Still, you did your very best in keeping it collected. “Yeah?” you asked, sounding hopeful. Your glistening eyes met his, shifting your body a bit to fully face his.
“Yeah,” he reassured, unable to keep his smile any longer.
That very night was the night Yoongi decided to be bold. He brought a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind ear, only to lessen the distance between both of your faces. Even with your head spinning, you were still able to admire his soft features—the way his eyes literally sparkled when they looked at you, the way his rosy cheeks from the alcohol became more prominent. “You make me so fucking happy, ____. I thought you were just going to be another face I’d see from time to time when we met that night, but… you became more than that. I think I’m in love with you.”
And at that moment, it felt like time had stopped between you two. That nothing else mattered in the world aside from the fact that Min Yoongi—the neighbor you fell in love with—felt the same way.
“Be honest with me,” you decided to match his boldness by using a free hand to gently sweep his bangs off of his face. They were trembling a little, but he didn’t seem to notice. His eyes kept its focus on you and you only, feigning that same look that always makes you crumble.
He nodded, egging you to continue.
“Would you kiss me right now if I asked?”
Your lips were immediately met by his. It was sweet, and you could taste the hint of ramen broth and beer that lingered. The way his lips felt matched the way that he kissed you—soft, and tender. His hands found their way on your hips beneath the blanket your bodies shared, while yours rested perfectly on both sides of his jaw. With chests pressed against one another, you noticed that his heart was pounding too. And that only made you smile in between kisses.
At this point, neither one of you wanted to pull apart. Instead, your lips were roughly colliding in full-force, the intensity of the kiss amplifying. Yoongi’s hand began to trail down further until his fingers reached the inside of your thigh. Your breath hitched at his touch, desperately wanting him to explore further. But he chose to stop. “Yoongi,” you said his name in an unintentional soft whine after pulling away, practically begging for more friction.
Rational thinking was thrown out of the window tonight. You were riding from the high of Yoongi practically confessing his love for you, and all you wanted to do was have him. All of him.
“Hm?” he let out a quiet hum, fingers dancing closer and closer. His lips continued to wander across your skin, peppering kisses all over your neck and down to your exposed collar bones.
“Touch me,” you whispered into his ear. “Please.”
He didn’t waste another moment. He reached over to slide your pajama pants down in one quick pull and you assisted in kicking them out of the way. It gave him leeway to use the pads of his fingers to gently massage your clothed core, pressing just enough to provide pressure that had your lips leaving quiet moans that were thankfully, still masked by the music in the background. “Take this off and spread your legs for me,” he demanded lowly.
You’ve never seen this side of him before—but god he knew how to turn you on. If the blanket wasn’t over you right now, you would’ve felt exposed from the wetness pooling in between your thighs. But you did as you were told without any hesitation, sliding your panties down until they hugged your ankles, kicking them off entirely, leaving your bottom half bare beneath the warm fabric.
Yoongi took it as a cue to slide his fingers between your legs and prying them apart. You’ve never felt more vulnerable than at this moment. Even with the blanket hovered securely over your body, the way his gaze was on you was more than enough to make you feel like he owned you tonight. And you were okay with that. Slender fingers dipping into your dripping core, he used it as a way to collect the overflown juices before using it as a lubricant to massage your throbbing clit. His pace was agonizingly slow, but it still made your back arch off of the couch in pleasure.
The sight only made him mumble profanities under his breath.
“Do you think about me when you touch yourself, ____?” he asked, dark eyes still locked on yours. He was still close, and you could feel his hot breath tickle your skin at each word. Slowly inserting two fingers on the get-go, your eyes impulsively roll back at the way they stretched your walls in the best possible way. His pace soon began to quicken without a fair warning, and you couldn’t help but whimper each time they pump into your g-spot. “Do you think about me fucking you like this?”
Your headspace was such a euphoric state that you couldn’t even find the right words for an answer. Rather than saying anything, you only nodded feverishly to let him know that he was doing everything right. The thought of having Yoongi’s fingers fucking tirelessly inside you was more than enough to rile you up and near your orgasm.
You’ve thought about it multiple times before. Every time you see him on that stage, swiping the sweat off of the back of his neck that left his fingers glistening, your mind begins to wander into dangerous places. It was hot—there’s no denying it.
You were close. But as soon as you were about to finish, the momentum was put to a stop, because you took it upon yourself to remove his fingers out of you on your own. Confused, Yoongi began to look at you as if he’s done something wrong, though, you hoped he’d get the hint the minute your hand found its way to palm his hardening erection through his sweatpants. “I wanna finish inside you,” you breathed, planting kisses that began from his neck and worked its way up to his lips.
“Then do it.”
Using both of your hands to pull both his sweatpants and boxer briefs down, allowing for his length to spring free. After he successfully kicked them both off of him, you stood from your previous position to straddle him, putting both hands on his shoulders to support yourself. His eyes carefully watched you as you slowly unzipped your hoodie, revealing that you wore nothing underneath.
He was mesmerized. And it was all for him—with the blanket still covering both of your bare bodies, he was the only one who could see you like this. No one else.
A devilish grin laced your lips at the sight of him speechless as you helped remove his sweatshirt. Slowly but surely, you lifted yourself up slightly to line Yoongi’s erection up before sinking in.
The two of you both let out a satisfied moan in unison, and Yoongi’s hands began to wander around your warm body—hands stopping at your ass to dig his fingers into your flesh as you rocked your hips at a steady pace. His mouth on the other hand was busy with your breasts, tongue flicking against each hardened nipple even as they bounced.
“Do you think about me fucking you like this?” you mimicked him in a playful yet sultry tone, using both of your hands to lift his face up in order to make full-on eye contact with you while you continued to ride him. He threw his head back in response, all while still keeping his gaze on yours. From his expression alone, you could tell that he was wrapped around your fingers.
But instead of giving you any sort of real answer, he rolled his eyes and pulled you in for a kiss, satisfying his craving for your lips once more. Before you knew it, your positions had switched, and you were fully lying down on the couch with Yoongi on top of you. The blanket had been partially discarded since Yoongi couldn’t care less about it, only draping over the bottom half of your bodies. You let out a small shiver as you felt the cold air, but it all seemed to disappear the minute you felt his length fill you up once more.
“You’re my weakness, _____,” you heard him say softly once your foreheads touch, his lips brushing against yours. His thrusts were at a slow pace, but it was still enough to hit your g-spot each time. “After meeting you that night, I knew I was fucked.”
It was unfair—how Min Yoongi knew how to tug your heartstrings in any situation (literally). There was nothing more intimate than this, though. The two of you were left vulnerable, and he found the perfect moment to say it. “I feel the same way,” you whispered, hands lifted up to cup his flushed cheeks. “Because I think I’m in love with you too.”
Yoongi began to pick up the pace upon hearing you confess. With one hand gripping tightly on the couch’s arm rest until his knuckles turn white, another snuck in between your bodies to have his thumb rub your clit, matching the intensity of his thrusts.
“Yoongi, I’m so close—” you whined quietly into his ear while he continued to fuck you senselessly, walls fluttering and tightening around him. There was that familiar feeling building up inside you, and you were so close to coming undone. Yoongi continued to snap his hips into yours while tracing quick circles around your sensitive bundle of nerves until you felt yourself let go. Your body jolted as you cried in please, and even then, he didn’t stop. He milked every last drop of the wave of pleasure he’d given you that left you out of breath. There was this buzzing that refused to leave your ears, and your eyes were watery from the overwhelming feeling.
Smirking in satisfaction, each thrust became more sloppy and erratic. It didn’t take long for him to follow suit, pulling out to finish on you. He groaned as you felt his warmth spill across your frame, panting from the intense session the two of you just shared.
“Damn, I made a mess,” he said playfully after reaching out for a napkin on the table to wipe your body clean, which earned a soft slap on his end. He only laughed once you were able to sit back up, leaning in to steal a quick kiss on the lips.
Once the two of you were finished getting dressed and cleaning the area, you both decided to stay on the rooftop for a few more minutes. Both of you were nuzzled against one another for warmth, your back pressed against Yoongi while he had an arm wrapped around you. SUGAR by BROCKHAMPTON was playing in the background, and Yoongi was singing softly to the chorus while you quietly admired his small performance.
“Remember when you said you wouldn’t fall in love with a fan?” the words left your lips with a smile, recalling the memory like it was only yesterday. At this point, you were just there to tease him. “Tsk. Can’t believe I’m into a hypocrite.”
He laughed, nose digging into your hair. “You’re different. I’d do anything for you.”
↳ PRESENT DAY.
“Ready to go, babe?”
You’ve spent the past hour sitting on the rooftop’s sofa in solitude, admiring the blue sky in front of you. You were quietly humming to Suga’s Trivia 轉: Seesaw to yourself as you watched the view, until you were interrupted by the familiar voice entering your ears. The smile on your face widened as he approached you, offering a hand to help you up.
It’d been months since you’ve last heard from Yoongi. He was off doing bigger, better things—and you were proud of him for that. After spending hours and hours of going back and forth with one another one night, the two of you had the realization that the long-term goals you both had didn’t align. He was asked to commit to a world tour for the next year and a half, and you wanted to stay where your life was. Here.
Yoongi was more than willing to drop his entire career to be with you, but you knew it wasn’t right. So, no matter how painful it felt, you had to let go. He’s made so many sacrifices to get to where he was, and you refused to be the reason why he couldn’t live his dreams. No matter how much you both loved each other.
Deep inside, you’ve always hoped that he’d come home. That one night you’d find him sitting in that very same spot on the rooftop, legs sprawled apart, absentmindedly staring at the night sky. But it’s been months. No calls, no texts—only a meek dial tone at the end of the line.
It was a hard pill to swallow, but Min Yoongi was simply the right person you’ve met at the wrong time.
“Yeah,” you answered Jungkook softly before taking his hand to lift yourself from the seat. A quiet giggle left your lips once your boyfriend pulled you closer to pepper kisses on your cheek, and the two of you began your walk out of the building. “Let’s get out of here.”
#yoongi smut#min yoongi smut#yoongi x reader#bts smut#bts imagine#bts fic#min yoongi#i had to repost bc i didnt like the title of the old one JGDHFKG
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