#who has tortured me and my friends
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midsummerknife · 2 years ago
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i really. i really need cishet people in this fandom to please kindly stop inserting themselves into a community they are not a part of :) we are magnificently cursed with a fatal flaw. why would anyone ever ask for that. please stop trying to sound like us. you get to log off for the night and live in a word where homophobia and specifically lesbophobia dont haunt you. i do not have that luxury. please do not misrepresent yourselves as a group of people whom you have a long long history of mistreating and speaking over. thank you for understanding 🧡🤍💗
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shorthaltsjester · 7 months ago
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"And you loved her once, too. You were inseparable. I remember the day the Featheringtons moved in across the square. From that day on, it was, “Penelope this,” and “Penelope that,” and “Penelope and I are going to read Don Quixote, and we are going to be knights.”"
Eloise Bridgerton & Penelope Featherington in Bridgerton // We're In Love by boygenius
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 4 months ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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outeremissary · 10 days ago
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In the past week or two an attempt to recommend Rogue Trader to friends now that I am truly in a dire place with it resulted in convincing them all to never, ever touch it... I need Owlcat to release a game I don't feel obligated to include a list of disclaimers with when trying to recommend </3 It's always like "Kingmaker is one of my FAVORITE GAMES and the writing is GOOD AND FUN it has some of my ALL TIME FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND PLOTS and the gameplay is SO BAD MOST OF THE TIME and it has SO MUCH JANK but it's worth it if you have DOZENS OF HOURS OF PATIENCE" or "Wrath has combat and characters MANY PEOPLE LIKE and is VERY CINEMATIC and SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVES QOL but the gameplay MIGHT PISS YOU OFF and you SHOULD DO PRE READING ON SYSTEMS AND ROUTES and the alignment dialogue is NOT GOOD somehow worse than Kingmaker's" or "Rogue Trader is a GREAT GAME with INTERESTING CHARACTERS and REALLY FUN GAMEPLAY except that the gameplay of the first fifteen hours is INTOLERABLY BAD AND BORING and the exposition for newcomers to setting lore is TERRIBLE also the scope of human atrocity is OFF THE CHARTS if that's hard for you and there IS A TORTURE PIT"
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csoisoi · 2 years ago
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ifrit's tail makes delicious food
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chiropteracupola · 2 months ago
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once again experiencing the kind of grim misery that comes of being an artist at the Gifts Time because the amount of presumed value I put on my art is reallyreally different than that which other people put on it. also the kind of things that I can knit fast with stuff I already have are things that zero people in my family desire.
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soap-is-an-artist · 23 days ago
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Hooray... it's 7 in the morning and I stayed up all night listening to the imperium... I feel so happy and satisfied with my life choices...
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I am feeling very much not cowabunga, dude
[SEVERE rambling in tags]
#ouww it hurts!! it hurts!!! this is the stuff you're supposed to leave for angst fic writers not make canon in an alt universe?? ERIK PLEASE#i hate the whole entire world right now. genuinely cannot speak to anyone normally for the next 3-4 business days.#I have no one irl to rant to about this FUCK im stranded. im quarantined. im being held against my will free meee#The irl friend i have who knows anything at all about redacted only knows freelancer s1 i cannot drop this bigass plot on them#Genuinely i might start going mad out of repression. Erik writing “hope you enjoy” in the desc as if that wasnt the most painfully torturou#experience I've ever had in my life. The fucking inevitability. I knew Echo was going to pull some shit. IM JUST GLAD VIN AND FL ARE OK#they were NOT the turning point just let them live their cabin in the woods fantasy for however long they can okay...#Also I kinda love imp!vega. not the biggest fan of prime bc of the whole child beating situation but i sure loved this guy.#really knew what he was talking about when it came to revolutions and stuff. Like he's good. no disrespect to avior but vega did good#and he was so gentle with his partner which i find more appealing than torture but that's just me. that's just me i get it#And uh. speaking of that. Imp!sam. Yeah i get why some of yall are goin wild over him and i wish i could say i shared the sentiment but hes#too scary im weak like that. when i know a bastard would simply kill me without a care im just not into that yknow? or maybe you dont#Glad we got twisted gay damihux at the end though MUAHAJAJA that's one of the only redeeming lights that kept me alive#FUCKKKK SHIT FU K SJIT DAM ASHERS ENTIRE SCENE WITH BRACJIUM GOD HELP ME. ID DIE FOR THAT MAN#he's so fucking sad!!! he just wants his husband back!!! HE WANTS HIS FAMILY BACK!!!!!!#No even I don't understand how it's possible to get this attached to characters. I don't know. Im in deep shit.#Is this the end for me? Is my life over? These are the questions I have today. I probably just need to sleep because again#it's 7:30 in the morning. but regardless. These characters mean so much to me and this silly anthology has pulled emotions out of#me that i am terrified of feeling [survivors guilt hits me right in the fucking heart] and im scared. of what? don't know#That little shit Echo was right about one thing. It may not be real but the emotional damage it caused me is real. AND IRREPARABLE#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted imperium#redacted imp!asher#redacted echo#redacted imp!vega#redacted imp!sam#redacted vindemiator#tired of tagging. hitting the pillow. good night.
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allpromarlo · 10 months ago
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don’t let sukuna being a hater ass bitch distract you from the fact that yuji is HIM
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chaos-bringer-13 · 3 months ago
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@void-of-unparalled-chaos did you see me going through Epic the musical tag on your blog? It's because you infected me. I am no longer sane. Because of you posting about Epic I went and watched both streams recordings on youtube and am currently making my way through literally every video about Epic on Jay's channel. I am obsessed. I ranted to my parents for an hour and then started sending memes to my friend who barely has any context. I am vibrating through walls. There is something fundamentally changed in me now. I am losing my sense of humanity. Please if you ever want to infodump and have someone to share your freaking out - message or tag me. I need to know every single detail and I'm too bad at noticing the motifs and instruments myself. Someone save me
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cosmicterrorthe8th · 11 months ago
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Another Grant headcanon:
I think he wrote love notes when in relationships, and he went all out with like making the paper scented and stuff. But like he had no good perfume so he ended up using his horrible body spray. So like the lucky boyfriend would like find a paper reeking of the body spray like every once in a while.
Also I think he was someone who fell deep into romance because having a crush and feeling butterflies in his stomach was better than numbness. So he would pursue every crush even if he knew it would not end well because of the thrill of it. I think this sucked but I think he atleast felt like this is a normal way for life to suck.
#honestly I was thinking he continued the note thing with marco in college maybe?#and now marco likes the smell of the body spray even if grant found better perfumes cuz nostalgia#i think i am in my own la dee da world after this episode#where I think if willy takes a break from torturing the parents they should form a circle and become bffs#they should form a circle#toast to rebecca#and then just talk shit idk#i think they would be very funny as a group after they are done grieving#like cassandra would be like how could I have dated such a loser#he literally kidnapped like four of my exs ex friends and put collars on them when we were dating#and they would be like no its not your fault he is that manipulative#and then one of them would talk about their ex to comfort her#and then somwhow it would come out that willy is like the age of their grandparents#and cassandra would be like why did this senior citizen get me so bad#he told me to make him a sandwich and I#a multimillionaire made him a sndwich#this will probably never happen in canon#dndads#grant wilson#dungeons and daddies#the tags are their own seperate post at this point#dndads s2#looking back on this(tags)#all the spouses knew willy as a nice guy who saved them#rebecca was the only one who suspected him so thats why he killed her#they must be feeling so duped getting tortured except for marco who saw him kill a man#cassandra has been feeling duped since heaven#this is killing me all of them are having conversations in my head now the comedy and the pain is killing me mostly the comedy#marco li wilson#grant li wilson
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transmasccofee · 1 year ago
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this scene is ruining my life at first I didn’t get it but now I get it and Aughdhyfhfheujfuejfjjfjfnv
#Kusuo learning from Akechi that competition can be fun and playful and not like. Torture.#And then learning that Kuusuke despite his shitty brother-isms is deep down seeking that exact thing#but just doesn’t know how to approach it#because of how their relationship functioned for years and how they both are#Like don’t get me wrong Kuusuke is uh. Not a good brother and his inferiority complex lead to him hating and mistreating his brother for#Many Years#And I don’t think this scene functions as forgiveness exactly (Kusuo still has resentment towards him in later arcs)#But I think it’s a moment where he realizes they’re both on some level really lonely people#Who have been fighting their whole lives#And being like “hey I don’t hate you. Let’s be friends instead of enemies.”#And Kuusukes response being “I should really be the one saying that to you”#I just. Like it’s a Start.#IDK like Kusuo was completely justified to hate his brother especially after something like the catgun arc#But he doesn’t and I think it’s because he realizes that his brother genuinely doesn’t hate him anymore#Their whole deal is just really interesting to me but idk how to phrase my thoughts on them coherently#The only thing I wish this arc had was Kuusuke having a “what did I do to you” moment but it is a comedy and we already got that from tori#so ynow#i just say he had that moment post meteor#does any of this make sense#Also it makes me so emo that he pictured akechi
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kandicon · 11 months ago
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*writes the same exact headcannons in slightly different scenarios over and over again*
#it all comes back to my unicron-spawn Starscream and my quintesson-built Jazz#today I worked a little on us Starscream and qb Jazz becoming friends and getting a absurdly similar dynamic to how I write Prowl and Jazz#but I stopped that to work on a memory loss fic w that Jazz fighting his way from autobots to Starscream bc he was the only one who he#trusted with a complete memory back up as another not-cybertronian#and I stopped THAT to work on a qb Jazz/Prowl fic where it's non-essential no pain killer surgery that Prowl has to do on Hazx bc he refuses#to go to medics. partially bc the surgery is completely unsafe in any firm and partly bc qb Jazz doesn't want anyone else to know what he is#(and Prowl barely knows either)#but I only got a few sentences into that b4 I went to do an Autobot!DJD (AJD?) torture scene w qb Jazz where the nameless character to die#manages to tear open his chest while fighting back and finds nothing inside#BUT that's rlly similar 2 a fic where I've done the same thing w Starscream (the chest discovery in a scuffle bit) so I reread that before#I got distracted thinking abt my Starop fic that's all Starscream doesn't have a spark because he's a ghost Optimus Prime doesn't have a#spark because he's a lab experiment gone rogue. Misunderstandings ensue. which I adore but have no idea how to fit a plot into#so bc I couldn't think of anything more than a few sentences for that I went to my fic where ALL of the command trine formed from Unicron#but Skywarp and Thundercracker died early and Starscream spends millions of years searching all of cybertron and hoping Vector Sigma#reincarnation works for unicronians too. biiiig depression angst fic. I can't decide if I want it to end in Starscream self-inducing stasis#in one of Vector Sigma's chambers or whether I want it to end w Starscream brutally murdering the new trine member the reincarnated versions#of Skywarp and Thundercracker were made with (who ftr would be Sun Storm)#n that fic reminded me of that one rewritting of the Starscream's Ghost ep where Starscream catches a glimpse of Scourge and immediately#attacks. it's barely a fight because in seconds SS is ripping through layers of armor desperately searching for Thundercracker beneath the#shell Unicron gave him. He needs Thundercracker to be there (he isn't). Only when his claws have gone completely thru Scourge's back does he#round on the armada- only to completely ignore Cyclonus and go for one of his clones (Skywarp)#and that reminded me of- *gunshots*#do u see why I only ever manage to post ponies?? I have less ideas w them so I actually finish.#I'm worried of hitting tag limit but I have plenty more of even less fleshed out fics for us Starscream and qb Jazz#(I barely said half of what's in my writing docs)
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gumy-shark · 8 months ago
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Do you ever think about the fact Teru just canonically hangs around the awakening lab kids. Like those are his buddies. Like it's very indicative of his character growth and a very good sign that he's growing as a person. But also it's so fucking funny can you imagine THAT friendship dynamic
it really is amazing like. i don’t even know it’s just very fun to rotate in my mind. also imagining teru and rei talking about how “kageyama” is so cool and hot or whatever and it takes them three conversations to realize they’re talking about different kageyamas.
(do you think teru was the one who explained all the things the awakening lab kids missed out on like “oh that’s ritsu not shigeo he was going by his brother’s name” or “yeah that guy wasn’t really the leader of claw he’s [shigeo] kageyama’s boss” or even “oh hey remember those guys who kidnapped you? we kicked their asses and they’re all cool now except for that one guy i probably killed lol”)
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apotelesmaa · 1 year ago
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My fave thing about the WxS dynamic is that emu/rui/miku are always like tsukasaaaa it’s 3pm it’s time to make you do incredibly dangerous and life threatening stunts!!! & tsukasa is just like ok 😔 into the cannon I go 😔 while nene (arguably the most normal and sane person in WxS who could easily put a stop to this) is like yeah see you later idiot. Bye. (Not looking up from whatever game she’s playing)
#project sekai#i think tsukasa and nene should have mlm/wlw hostility. they’re friends nene just thinks he’s a dumbass.#kaito comes back to the sekai and everything is on fire. lives have been lost.#rui and emu planning some truly heinous things to put tsukasa through and nene is just like 😐👍🏻 sure#he’ll be fine & it’s like enrichment to him if you don’t launch your tsukasa out of a cannon once a week he has too much energy#and will start yelling at random passerbys that he’s gonna be a big star one day#rui 🤝 emu: torturing their good friend tenma tsukasa for funsies#i love the convos tsukasa has with them both where he’s like you want me to do WHAT (does it anyways) he’s so funny…#my favorite little group of clowns… the silliest geese…#i also think this is why kaito is the vocaloid most associated w WxS because they need a responsible person and that will not be miku.#in general their dynamic as a group fascinated me but like also their individual dynamics…#emu is the first person to try really hard to be nene’s friend. nene is teaching emu to sing.#tsukasa and rui being the weirdo wombo combo at their school and rui thinking tsukasa has star power#rui and nene being childhood friends who drifted apart & rui building the nene robot…#rui and emu being so so so attatched to wxs even if their friends want to move on & enabling each other’s insanity…#emu seeing tsukasa fail his audition and being like I Want That One :) and he grows to really respect and care abt her… ough I love them#nene and tsukasa getting past their beef and becoming friends…
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hikeyzz · 2 months ago
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a distant friend from college asked about the recovery for getting your tonsils taken out. how do i say "it was the worst scariest most horrible recovery period ever" without totally freaking them out??? bc like they'll probably have a normal experience. i literally had the worst case scenario happen but it's extremely unlikely to happen for them. like the odds are literally less than 5%. but also how do i give advice for the average recovery when mine wasn't??? do i even tell them how bad mine was just to prepare them?? idk man
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fadeintolight · 2 months ago
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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