#who had them and where did they get them and why did they end up consigning them

[simpjaes]

REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS ― S.JY

What should have never been an option became a routine over the years. This year is different though. It’s time to face what’s been done and put an end to it for good…except your step-brother Jake isn’t ready to face it, and your little boyfriend isn’t going to stand in the way of getting what he wants either.  or the one where you made a bad decision in fooling around with your step-brother during your early college days and he refuses to let you put an end to it. 

leave feedback and reblog to support me please! 

minors do not interact. 

WORDCOUNT― 8.9k

PAIRING― step-brother jake sim x afab reader (ft. boyfriend sunghoon)

WARNINGS ― step cest, dub-con/non-con, blackmail, nonconsensual phone sex 

NOTE― MIND. THE. WARNINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO, shoutout to anon for giving me this idea.reminder that this is not a representation of me or the idols as real life people. anyway, not proof read.

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags― non con/dub con, normal size dick jake and mentions of bigger dick sunghoon, implications from jake that sunghoon is actually gay for him, camera use, fisting, degradation, manipulation, phone sex-ish, choking, suffocation, cum stuffing, cream pie, unprotected sex, forced blowjob, crying, break-up implications

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“You’re being ridiculous.” Jake scoffs, leaning against your bedroom dresser with his arms crossed. “We did it last summer, why is this year any different? We always do it.” 

You roll your eyes at him in an attempt to hide the guilt you feel, holding the blanket tightly to your chest in case he tries to pull them off of you again. Jake knows damn well why. Not only should it not have happened last year, or the year before that, or the year before that, but to actively and truly believe it’s something that can continue is something only a mad man would think. 

Not to mention, you have a boyfriend now. A real boyfriend, one who matters in your life.

“Sunghoon have anything to do with this?” He questions you now, reaching for the blanket and tugging. “Come on, playing around isn’t gonna hurt anything. It’s not like anyone is going to know anyway–” 

You huff, yanking your blanket up a bit to pull it from his grasp again. You get why he’s asking and why he’s confused because, well, last summer you were all over the idea like usual. You knew he would expect the same this summer, but honestly, it has to stop. Things have changed. Things needed to change. 

“Jake, we can’t be doing that stuff anymore.” You say as if it’s fine, a bite to your voice that hits him right in the gut. 

In all honesty though, you really do feel guilty. Like you’ve led him on all these years with his sweet, borderline boyfriendly words. You lived in the fantasy with him for a while, like it could work out despite the family ties. There’s a reality though, one that you found yourself living in upon meeting Sunghoon, and there’s a fantasy that you need to pull Jake out of. You feel awful, especially knowing there’s a part of you that would if you could. But…you can’t, nor can he.

Never again. 

Jake feels singled out at this moment. Like he’s the weird one for even asking when you were the one who came onto him when it happened the very first time. All those talks of “we aren’t blood related, it’s not that bad.” and “If our parents divorce, maybe someday we can go on a date or something–” Do they mean nothing now? You’re going to blame him for expecting it?

“Why the fuck not?” He narrows his eyes at you. “Gonna act like you weren’t the one who tried to fuck me at Jay’s party last summer? Acting all high and mighty now, like suddenly it’s so wrong?” 

You look away from him, feeling worse because he’s right. Given, the guilt should have hit you after the first time, but it didn’t. You had your fun pushing boundaries but now that graduation is coming up it’s like..it doesn’t feel right. Did he really just expect the two of you to keep fucking well into adulthood?  Did he expect you to get married to someone else and still get on your knees during family Christmas parties? 

Did he expect to be the one marrying you?

“We have to grow up.” You finally say, shifting your eyes back to him. “This is starting to feel really—gross.” 

“Hey–” He looks at you now, almost pleading. “It’s not gross, we aren’t gross.” He takes two steps towards the bed in a fit of desperation, leaning with his hands now palm-down on your mattress. But…when he tries to follow up on his words, he knows you’re serious.

Realistically, despite having been your step-brother since the beginning of high-school…actively choosing to fuck each other as soon as college started was maybe not the best idea. Hormones were high, the freedom to fuck was blatant, and well…it’s not his fault you’d walk around in all those slutty little pajama shorts and try to jump his bones every time you found yourself alone with him. If anything, you’re the one who pulled him into this. He really did think it was gross at first, but thinking with his dick outweighed that, and then his heart decided to play a part in all of it too. 

He really does think there could be something here if the two of you worked for it. After all, you’re entirely his type, despite marriage ruining it. The breaking of morals eventually became the best part for him, having what his father wishes he could have solely because you’re just a younger, hotter, version of your own mother.

You even said it yourself all that time ago when it first happened. “It’s ok jakey, you’re a guy. guys have needs.” 

Well, what about his needs now?! He was so happy to be able to come home and see you again. He misses you  so much when you’re both away at your respective colleges, and he thinks about you all the time. He should have known that something was changing all those months ago when you stopped texting him back as much as you usually would. Now what? He just has to accept that you’re done?

“You’re seriously not going to give it up?” He pushes his hands under the bottom of your blankets, quickly running his fingers up your legs just to try and encourage a giggle, or a smile from you.

That’s when he notes how you haven’t even shaved your legs. Which, it’s not like he gives two fucks on whether you do or not but like…you always shave. Your skin was always so smooth, plump, soft, and moisturized when you knew you’d be wanting to play around with him. And clearly, you don’t expect to be getting fucked this summer.

Ah, he’s starting to resent you.

“Does that boyfriend of yours know about us?” He finally says, standing tall at the end of your bed and looming much darker than his usual, bright persona. 

You stare at him, eyes widening. 

“Excuse me?” You furrow your brows. “Jake, what the fuck are you sayi–”

Before you can even finish or get a response from him, he’s leaving your bedroom and slamming the door behind him. 

Already you know this is going to be a long fucking summer. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Jake knew you were a smart girl. You always believe everything he says, but never once has he used that against you until now. That little mention of Sunghoon seems to have made you panic, and he can’t help but find it endearing that you took his threat so easily. Each time he comes home now, from hanging out with your boyfriend, you’re always sitting on the couch like a cute little puppy greeting him with a wagging tail.

If at all, he knows you’re doing it to try and butter him up. To distract him from what you’re taking away from him. Dangling yourself like nothing has changed but denying him time and time again of it. You’re nice, but never this nice. Offering to hang out, watch movies, go out. You’re promising just about everything to him except for the one thing he needs from you. 

He’s thankful though, with all circumstances considered, that the good ol’ parents don’t notice a shift in how you’re acting solely because the two of you have always been close. Even before the sex stuff. You were his best friend. He protected you from highschool bullies, potential assholes trying to steal your first kiss, virginity, and even the first experience of sneaking out. 

Back then, it’s not like Jake ever wanted to be your first kiss, the one to take said virginity, or sneak you out to parties you shouldn’t be at. Truly, he just wanted to protect you. It wasn’t until the two of you were away from each other for the first time as freshmans in college that he felt some type of way towards you. Which, again, was entirely your fault.

Ah, he still remembers that first summer back home walking into the house and being smacked in the face with a sensual, fruity scent radiating off of you. After not seeing you for three and a half months, he was entirely shocked at how much you had changed. You looked…confident in yourself. Like you’d been growing internally and learning what you want in life. He found it very attractive of you, believing that once you get a boyfriend, they’d be very lucky to have you in their life. 

Then of course, you’d bend over in those shorts and look back at him smirking. Like you only saw him as a man now, and not your protective step brother. You’d whine to him about ruined hook-ups, about the frat parties, about all the guys trying to touch you and wishing he was there to keep them off of you. All while…doing that. All while waltzing around like you’d invite him to do the same. 

And you did invite him. That first night has been burned into his memory. The fear, the guilt, the disgust, the love he felt for you. So quiet in his bedroom, giggling to each other with all the lights off in the silence of his room, trying to pretend it was only a one-time thing to satiate a specific need. There was nothing kinky, nothing weird outside of the dynamic of who you were supposed to be to each other.

It kept happening after that, and each time the guilt would wash away with the sweat that always dripped onto you from his temple. You could even say it was shy at first, both of you were very generous to each other. It only started getting dirty as the summers at home continued. 

And now…nothing? After all of that, nothing?! 

If you think you can change so drastically over a single semester, so be it. Jake can change too, and he already has. Both of you now, entirely different compared to that first summer together. You, all jittery and freaked out, him, with all the power. 

You though, truly you’re fucking panicking. If your boyfriend found out about all of this, he’d think you’re a freak. Or a slut. Or a piece of trash. Maybe all three of those things and then some. And you know, you’d think Jake is bluffing…really. Except you got a text from Sunghoon the same night Jake tried to get in your pants. You remember reading those words, the pit in your stomach digging deep. “Your bro is gonna come hang out with me for a bit, you’re coming too right?”

Nevermind the fact that Sunghoon lives an hour away from your hometown, where the two of you get to meet in the middle during active semesters on campus. What about the fact that Jake barely fucking knows him?! Through mutual friends (Jay and Heeseung) all three of you were aware of each other, but you’re the one who got the closest to Sunghoon. 

You’re his girlfriend now. Which, apparently demoted Jake from popular-porn-trope to actual step-brother. 

And that pisses him off. 

So, is it weird for Sunghoon to get a sudden hang out text from a guy he assumed is just wanting to get to know him? No. After all, he knows Jake is your “brother.” What he doesn’t and hopefully will never know is that you’ve fucked said step-brother.

 Is it weird that you don’t go with Jake to see your own boyfriend? Yes. Unfortunately, Jake basically demanded you “stay in your fucking place. if you wanna get fucked so bad, I’ll be home after.” 

Even Sunghoon doesn’t find it weird and texts you everyday as usual. It sucks actually, that he’s so willing to let you do as you please and trusts you to an extent that he doesn’t even ask why you don’t come with Jake. Instead, he’s too busy saying you should definitely join next time, that Jake is super cool and seems to like him a lot. 

The good news: Sunghoon offers no mention of knowing, so…it seems you really do have to stay at home. Empty. Wanting to be next to Sunghoon so bad but forced to deal with any oncoming feelings alone. 

Since when was Jake even capable of being so awful? Since when did he hate you so much?

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“Jake–please.” You beg quietly, shaking his arm gently in the soft light of the morning. Everyone is sound asleep, which must be fucking nice.

It’s been two weeks now of such loneliness, such lack of sleep, such intense need to just let yourself spiral and drown in anxiety. Jake is barely talking to you now, only giving you sarcastic and evil little smiles from time to time. As if to remind you of what’s at risk. Sunghoon is normal, too normal. So normal, in fact, that he tried to jerk off on facetime last night for you and you ended up crying and apologizing because you couldn’t even get turned on. 

Even if Jake hasn’t told him anything, your relationship is already starting to fall apart because of him. He fucking knows it too. 

“Please,”

“Please, what?” Your step-brother's sleepy voice croaks out, turning himself on the bed towards you with a single half opened eye. 

“I’m losing sleep, please stop doing this to me.”

“No.” He says now, closing his eyes again and turning away from you, nuzzling against his pillow without a care in the world. 

“Please.” 

“Fuck off–” He complains, throwing his arm behind himself to shove you away and surprised to find that you’ve crawled up on the bed with him.

Just like that night so long ago, the first time the two of you broke past any boundaries. 

“I’ll do anything.” You nearly cry, so sleepy, so anxiety ridden, so out of your mind at this point that you genuinely would do anything to feel normal again. 

“Anything?” 

You feel slight relief in his interest, nodding your head aggressively with a broken voice. “Yes! I promise. I swear, anything you want. Please, just–”

“Then get the fuck out of my room.” 

You know better than to disobey at this point. All you can do is sulk back to your room and hope that sleep overtakes you this time. If anything, maybe he will consider your plea in the morning.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

It’s surprising, honestly. Jake didn’t even know he was into seeing you suffer like this, let alone having power over you. He spent so much time protecting you that he never realized how attractive it is to see you fear him. The joy that runs through him now, the orgasms he gets out of it, fuck. Who cares if it’s his own hand doing the work right now? With the thoughts of you doing “anything” like you said, being disgusting, begging, pleading, crying. He might be a little insane for you now, if he wasn’t already. 

And still even today, you look so desperate for any amount of relief. Jake finds joy in the fact that you can’t even go to your boyfriend about it. 

He’s never felt so powerful, truly. Especially now, watching you try to seduce him as if you didn’t deny him of it before. The slutty shorts are back. You’re not wearing bras anymore. You’ll leave the bathroom stark fucking naked if it happens to just be you and him at home.

Ah, heaven on earth. Honestly, his days are so fun now. Save for when he has to hang out with that fucking idiot of a man Sunghoon. What a loser, honestly. Openly sharing all the stuff you’ve done in bed with him like Jake isn’t your step-brother? If anyone is weird, it’s Sunghoon. Hell, Jake isn’t even sure now if the dude would care if he found out that you’ve ridden some related-by-marriage cock before. 

He hates hanging out with him. Always having to hold back the scoffs when Sunghoon is drunkenly slurring out more sex acts you’ve performed on him followed by a love confession and a whine of how much he misses you. As if you didn’t do all of that for Jake first. Ugh, he genuinely can’t believe that you’re even with Sunghoon at all. 

After a little while longer though, with the great days and the annoying hang outs, a nice month into summer vacation– Jake’s been ready to take what he needs. You’ve been begging for it, after all. He loves looking and seeing you so desperate for him to stop the mind games but goddamn it’s getting hard to think straight himself by now.

Thankfully, he’s thinking clearly enough whether it’s through his cock rather than his brain to come up with how he’ll go about it. He waits a little more, cock throbbing in his pants due to not allowing himself to get off in the past two days in preparation for this. 

Every night when everyone goes to bed, you call Sunghoon. And every night, Jake has listened. Tonight though? Sunghoon will be the one listening.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Like clockwork, the parents have gone to bed and Jake hears the hushed muttering just a room over. He’s already standing to his feet, shooting a hand directly to his bulge to adjust it with a silent groan in his throat. Before he can even leave his room he’s rolling his eyes back with another grope of his sensitive cock, almost unable to stop touching himself after denying himself of it. He’s practically drooling at the image of having you all to himself again. The anticipation he feels inside right now is insane. He feels his skin prickle and his eyes are barely able to focus on his own bedroom door out of sheer arousal of what he’s about to do to you.

He composes himself shortly after, as best he can anyway, tiptoeing to your room and chuckling at the way your eyes light up when you see him. He’s ignored you for too long. Not a single response to anything you’ve said to him, hell, he even stopped letting you see him look at you. 

Of course your eyes light up, it means he’s going to stop. It means he’s going to tell you what he wants. 

And you’re happy, even with Sunghoon on the line sweet talking to you about his day like usual. 

“Hoonie, can I call you back?” You ask quickly into the phone, only to see Jake take a seat next to you on your bed and shake his head at you. 

You tilt your head in question, feeling your heart thump in your ears to the point you barely even hear Sunghoon at all. 

“Keep talking to him.” He whispers to you now, nearly just mouthing it. 

You never knew you were so good at reading lips, but you listen to him. Furrowing your brows in question and adjusting your phone against your ear.

“Nevermind, we’re good.” You say in a voice too calm for Jake’s liking. 

And it’s like that for a few minutes as Jake lets you get into the groove of conversing with your boyfriend again before he makes a move. The move he makes? Leaning against you, pressing you back against your pillows, and licking your neck.

He smiles against your skin when he feels it prickle and lets out a whispered chuckle at how much he’s missed the taste of your skin. So warm, so soft. The fact that you’re letting him tells him all he needs to know, despite the way your shoulders stiffen, he knows you’re going to give him anything.

“Gonna let me fuck it again, yeah?” Jake whispers as he moves up against your ear, pinning your arms to your chest, forcing your phone closer to his mouth compared to yours. “Gonna let him hear it too.”

Ah, there she is. You, in all your glory, are already tearing up at the very idea of it. 

“Jake, no.” You say, holding your hand over the speaker and body language trying to twist away from him. 

“You said anything.” Jake corrects you quietly, slapping your hand off of the speaker and quickly thrusting his own hand between your legs.

He chooses not to be gentle with you this time. He’s not going to be what you’re used to, not after that shit you tried to pull with him. His finger pushes in dry, and he smiles at the way you hold your breath and try to squeeze your legs shut to stop him. Sunghoon on the other end is muffled, but still heard by both of you. 

You stay silent throughout his ministrations, pissing him off further, only making him move his hand faster, forcing a reaction, daring you to stop him. 

“Phone.” Jake instructs, loosening his other grip on your hands as a means to let you raise the phone back up to your ear. “Talk.”

You stare at him, feeling the burning between your legs of where your body has yet to do anything more than tighten around his fingers. Still, they drag painfully due to your body feeling no pleasure in this. In fact, you’re afraid. 

You’re afraid Sunghoon will find out, afraid of Jake, afraid of showing that you like what he’s doing, afraid of realizing you’ll always like this, afraid of losing either of them solely because you can only love, fuck, and be with one of them.

And it’s obvious who the one has to be because…the other isn’t possible. It’s just not. 

So, you try. You try to talk, try to relax, try to do everything Jake asks of you solely to prolong the situation enough to where you can find a way to put a proper, healthy end to it. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” You finally croak into the phone, having not heard a single word from Sunghoon this entire time and trying not to focus on that same drag Jake only pushes harder into you with that terrifying smirk. 

“I asked if that was Jake I just heard–” Sunghoon responded as brightly as always, bless him. 

“Speaker.” Jake mouths to you, and of course you listen. Reluctantly, but you still do it, shaking fingers hitting the speaker-phone button so Jake can hear what’s being said.

“What are you guys doing? Let me hear what?” Sunghoon continues. 

Jake flashes a full grin at you and wiggles his eyebrows before he’s pulling his fingers out, sucking them into his mouth, then moving back down with three before shoving them back in with even more force. 

“Yeah– Tell him.” Jake says as casually as ever. “Go on, let him in on the secret we’ve been keeping from him.” 

Sunghoon hears Jake all too well, but doesn’t question that it’s anything weird. If at all, he wonders if maybe you two have been planning something behind his back considering you never come over when Jake does. Which is actually weird, but he tried not to question it. He and you are practically attached at the hip during the semesters, so, this would make sense. 

Of course there is a secret surprise for him! 

“I–” You yelp both out of pain and unintentional pleasure, cutting yourself off in a gasp. 

You can feel the pit in your stomach dig deeper and deeper, arousing you when it’s the last thing you could ever want at this moment. You know Jake feels it though, with the slide of his fingers becoming easier, and that permanent smile on his face. 

Sunghoon feels so far away right now…Like, who are you kidding? He can’t get you out of this and you doubt he’d even want to if you were to ever even consider explaining it to him. 

“I–I miss you a lot.” You try to come up with words, missing him being all that you can muster up right now. 

Unfortunately, Jake’s scary smile is less terrifying compared to his face now, where he narrows his eyes and glares straight through you for saying such a thing in front of him. He’s trying to crowd four fingers into you now, making you squirm and squeeze your legs together again. He is quick to disallow you though, forcing one of your legs open with his shoulder and spitting directly on your stretched and pulsing hole. 

“I miss you too baby–” Sunghoon says in a slightly confused voice. “What else?”

You pause, taking a moment to feel Jake between your legs and how much it…god, it feels so good. But– you’re unsure of how to balance speaking with Sunghoon and dealing with Jake right now. If you have to deal with them both at the same time…this isn’t what you’d prefer. 

“I wish you were here right now.” 

Sunghoon smiles on his end, assuming Jake has now left your room due to the silence and lack of hearing him now. 

“Is Jake still around?” He mutters to you through the speaker, because based on your tone of voice, he knows what mood you’re in.

Jake shakes his head at you, encouraging that you lie before focusing back on watching the hole he’s missed so much. The one Sunghoon’s probably played with before, that fucking loser. 

“Nope–J–Just me!” You find yourself forcing a smile as you say it, just to hope your voice comes out in a way that sounds brighter than it feels. 

“You wish I was there?” Sunghoon says now, his own voice growing deeper. “Why’s that?” He spreads his legs out wide against his bed, assuming it’s about to be a regular session of facetime fucking. 

“Mhm,” You accidentally moan, a bit too obvious. “Just feel safe with you when I’m feeling like this.”

Jake rolls his eyes, slowly forcing his thumb in beside the rest of his fingers, growing more angry, more aroused, and more insatiable towards you. 

“How are you feeling right now baby?” 

“Empty.” 

“Wish you were full of something?” Sunghoon smiles, a cheeky voice calling out to you. “Of me?”

You groan at that moment, all of Jake’s fingers stretch you open until you feel knuckles trying to force past the boundary. Your hands shake at the feeling as your eyes cross momentarily, tears prickle from the pain but it feels so…good. And only a moment goes by before you, quite literally, kick Jake away. 

The sudden emptiness you get from that feels so much better, but Jake is too quick to get back up. Fire in his dark eyes as he grabs you by the ankles and pulls you roughly down the bed. There is a small sound that escapes your lips at the action, almost a giggle. You’re quick to tighten your lips though, trying to will your body to stop liking the way Jake is being with you right now. You don’t want this, you don’t like it. You never should have in the first place, and to be honest, you’re trying to force yourself to believe you’re making the right choice in continuing to deny him of this.

It’s only natural that your body wants it, just like it was natural to kick him off of you from the pain, right? And then, Jake reminds you of just how much you regret denying him the first night back home, because he's leaning over you so fast, hugging your waist and forcing all five fingers back into you. 

You kick, squirm, whine, and ultimately shout out a “No, no, no!” despite your hips chasing up to let him, almost to invite him. And–oh, fuck. You forgot Sunghoon can hear all of this. 

“Baby?” Sunghoon’s voice rings back in your ears. “Are you okay? You’re already touching yourself? Why do you sound so–” 

Jake’s own ears are ringing watching your body fight your brain. You still want him. He can tell by the way you look at him with those tear-filled eyes, with the way your pussy is dripping for this, the way your hips beg him to keep abusing you. Who is he to deny you? He has never denied you pleasure. So, he tries to force more, more, more into you. There’s a boundary here, your pussy clenched so tight around his fingers already, but you want him to keep pushing until he breaks the boundary. You want to feel the pain of it and…finally, he does get it in. His entire hand being gripped so tightly that even he seethes out a pained moan for you.

“Fuck–” He holds his fist in place, removing himself from your waist to look at you. “You really took it all.”

There’s tears in your eyes by this point and you can’t tell if it’s from realizing how much you need Jake, or the fact that Sunghoon definitely knows something is up. No words are coming out though, you’re more afraid to speak what you feel than you are of Jake right now.

“Jake?” Sunghoon questions, confused. 

“Yeah, what’s up?” Jake responds with a smile instantly, staring right at you as he begins to fuck a size far too big into you, watching you bite your tongue to keep from showing him how much you love it. 

“Wait–” Sunghoon continues with a pause. “What’s going on?” 

“I couldn’t help myself.” Jake smiles at you, wiggling his eyebrows again. “After all those things you told me about her, I guess I needed to see for myself.” 

And then, you moan. That searing pain inside of you somehow subsides, shaking legs and hands are gripping onto Jake in his entirety now, you’re practically drooling for it.

“I guess you were right.” Jake continues. “She really can take a lot, huh? Bet your dick didn’t feel this good for her though.”

You’re truly unable to comprehend most of what’s happening right now, even the phone vibrating in your hand as Sunghoon goes silent and instead, hangs up before instantly facetiming you. You’re so hyper-fixated on the feeling of knuckles dragging against your tightly clenched walls, choking back every sound or word you want to scream out. 

Jake watches as you cry a bit harder now, probably a bit too overwhelmed with the situation. Like the good step-brother he is though, He’ll take care of it for you, of course he will. 

“What’s the hold up?” Jake laughs, halting his hand as he reaches for the phone and instantly answers it. He stares down as you continue to fuck yourself on it, smiling at your brief whine before he speaks into the receiver with a confident voice. “Cat’s outta the bag.”

Sunghoon is there on the screen, witnessing the way Jake angles the phone more at himself and your hole than your face. His entire fist has disappeared inside of you, glistening with a sticky mess that spills out of you. 

Nothing else is said as Sunghoon stares at it. Jake being a cocky bastard and sticking his tongue out like some idiot frat boy, and then? He hears you.

“Jake, stop!” You cry out. 

He doesn’t stop, in fact, he fucks his fist into you quickly making damn sure Sunghoon can not only see how your wet spurts out around his wrist, but hear it too. 

“Stop what? Showing your boyfriend what you really want?” 

“Hang up the phone!” You cry out again, showing Sunghoon that perhaps…you don’t miss him at all.

Jake isn’t doing anything you don’t want. You just don’t want your boyfriend to witness you be so honest with yourself. 

“Awh,” Jake pouts now, angling the phone back at himself and feeling proud of the way Sunghoon appears to be entirely shocked, mouth hung open, eyebrows furrowed. “But he needed to know, baby, didn’t he?” He adds now, lying the phone down briefly to pull his cock out. 

“Come on now, don’t be shy.” Jake continues with his confidence, picking the phone back up and angling it towards you. 

He intentionally drags his fist in and out of you a few more times before gently pulling it out, moaning at the way it sounds, obsessing over it really. Sunghoon watches in horror at the way you squeeze your eyes shut, sadly wondering what Jake must be doing off screen for you to look so fucking guilty. The horror only grows when he has to watch Jake’s cock come on screen, pussy soaked hand jerking himself off before shoving the head right against your lips.

God, you know Sunghoon hates you now. 

Jake knows it too, and doesn’t care as he uses that same soaked hand and pries your lips apart before pushing it into your mouth. He thrusts forward too quick for you to take a breath, and you feel the leaking tip hit the back of your throat in a way that makes you choke and gag around him. 

Your eyes shoot open, looking up at him and barely able to comprehend the camera just inches from your face. 

Sunghoon has seen you look up at him like this too. Why aren’t you fighting Jake though? Why are you willingly gagging, choking, and drooling all over yourself with such a forceful fuck to your face? You always pull off of him when he tries to thrust even a little bit…but you’re..

“I–” Sunghoon goes to say, still staring at you and the way you’re shamefully getting your mouth fucked open. “That is fucking disgusting.” He finally lets out, but he can’t look away. He doesn’t want to see this but…he can’t bring himself to hang up. 

“Yeah, that’s what she thinks too.” Jake chuckles with a heaved breath, enjoying himself, now angling the phone at his face. “I think she likes it though– wouldn’t you agree?”

There goes the camera again, pointing right at your choking mouth. Jake pushes all the way in too, letting your nose rest against his pelvis and moaning loudly for Sunghoon to hear.

“Shit, see? She’s not even fighting it.”

Sunghoon can’t tell only because Jake doesn’t let him. You’re gripping Jake’s hips and trying to push him out of your mouth, but he stays in place, enjoying the way your choking and suffocating throat jerks him off better than his own hand ever could. 

The best part? He knows you’re only pushing him away to breathe because you weren’t fighting at all at first. In fact, he felt you silently hum against him like you want his cock so bad. So, he’s not actually lying. He just thinks it’s polite to not let Sunghoon know how you’re suffocating right now. 

Oh well. 

Only after your eyes start to fog over and roll back does Jake pull out, relishing in that wet gasp you lend. He looks down at the phone now, wanting to make sure Sunghoon witnessed all of that before realizing he fucking hung up.

Who the fuck hangs up on imagery like that? Fucking idiot, is what Sunghoon is. 

To be fair though, Sunghoon hung up shortly before Jake pulled out. He had to force himself to do it, because he didn’t quite enjoy the way his cock jumped at the image of his girlfriend letting her step-brother fuck her mouth like that. He’s entirely blindsided. Like, not only are you cheating on him, but he had to see it like that?! In 4k?! God, his stomach would be in knots to catch you like this with anyone, but the fact that it’s with…Jake. Of all people.

You’re fucking your own brother. 

None of that matters to Jake though, nor does it matter to you at this moment as the tears continue to pour from your eyes knowing that Jake did this on purpose and for a reason. It’s insane how kind he is to you now that Sunghoon isn’t watching, actually. Lending you a deep, meaningful kiss before sinking back down the bed and resuming his previous position. 

“You liked this.” He comments, seeing if his hand will still fit, and moaning when it does. “You’re so fucking wet it’s insane.”

God, you know he’s punishing you yet you can’t bring yourself to be mad about it because already you can feel the bubbles in your stomach threaten an orgasm. Proving to both Jake and yourself that…you do like it. Never have you even imagined wanting a whole goddamn fist in you before now but–you more than like it. You love it. 

In fact, feeling his hand dragging in and out of you now makes you forget about the way you nearly just died with a cock in your throat. You’re already moaning again, actually. 

And fuck, you promised you’d do anything to keep this a secret, and while doing that anything for him, no matter how willing, he still fucking told. He fucking showed the dirty acts to the last person on earth you’d ever want to see, hear, or know. The crying is a given, from both the anxiety, the fear, and the pleasure because you can’t stop the oncoming orgasm or the love you have for the man giving it to you either. 

The way he holds you through it should disgust you, with his fist buried so deep your orgasm comes in long, drawn out and painful waves. He grips onto you though, whispering more to himself against your thigh than to you, “I’ve got you. I’ll always have you, it’s okay.” 

You don’t want to melt for him, but you do. Even through your ringing ears it’s like your body instinctively hears his whispers when you shouldn’t. The words bring comfort, reminding you that he’ll still protect you even from Sunghoon and what he feels about this situation. Even from your parents, from outsiders, from everything. 

The orgasm feels like it bruises your brain, a throbbing headache coming shortly after when Jake takes on a more gentle persona and pulls his hand from you. He inspects your open cunt for a moment, seeing how wet it is inside for him before it pulses closed and he averts his gaze to his hand. 

Glistening, so wet. You needed that, he thinks. The reminder that he’s the only one who can love you in more ways than you truly need. 

“You did so well.” He compliments, crawling up and over you to wipe those tears with the same hand. 

You don’t move away, if anything you need this comfort now more than anything because you simply don’t know what to feel, or think, or admit right now. You think Jake already knows, he wouldn’t need you to say it simply because he’s always read you like a book. 

“No more pretending you don’t want this.” He says now, in a darker voice. “Even with Sunghoon listening, you moaned my name. I don’t think you remember doing that, do you?”

You cry more, closing your eyes tightly and pretending like Jake’s hand is Sunghoon’s. You really liked Sunghoon, genuinely thought you could have a future with him. Even so, pretending that Jake is him doesn’t bring safety because you almost would prefer it be Jake. A hand you’re so familiar with. 

He had been so awful to you recently, and only now do you realize that…maybe it really was for your own good.

“You don’t need him.” Jake says now, adjusting himself between your legs.“Not when you have me. You know I’ll take care of you.” He continues, slipping his cock deep into your already loosened hole. 

He’s shocked that you still manage to be tight after all of that, but he guesses that’s just how pussies work. Or how yours works, anyway. He knows it more than he knows his own cock at this point, which is insane. 

Feeling him inside of you, so familiar, slightly smaller than Sunghoon– it’s…comforting. The tears that spill from you now are more for missing him than anything. You can’t help it when you wrap your legs around him or throw your arms around his shoulders, shivering and clinging to him like he’s your last line of sanity despite everything about this being entirely insane. 

“Jake–” You moan at how he fucks you, so much softer than with his hand but…normal. Like the first time you ever did this with him. “I really want you but,”

Jake pauses, feeling that same pit in his stomach at how you say those words.

“What you just did to me could ruin my life.” You finally say, still clinging, not at all asking him to stop. “What you’re doing right now, will ruin my life.”

“Don’t be silly. Your life will be ruined without me, baby, you know that, right?” He says, reminding you of who has the power by quickening his hips and pointing his cock directly at your already sensitive g-spot. “You can’t say no to me, you tried and still you want me.”

You nod your head in agreement despite wishing he was wrong. 

“We can’t.” You say to him in a half-groaned whisper. “I’m begging you to stop.” 

If at all, you’re just begging him to stop being what you want. To stop being able to have a hold over you like this. To stop being everything that Sunghoon isn’t and still being the most desirable man in your life. To stop being your step-brother. To stop being a taboo in your life, if only to become someone you’re allowed to need like this. 

“No.” Jake says, unknowing of what you’re actually asking of him. “I’ll never stop.”

With those words, you moan. He’s promising something that neither of you should feel or need, but you accept it. Shocked at the way you feel him inside of you like always, no pain, or lack of feeling from the previous size fucked into you. It’s just…Jake. Intentionally fucking you harder to punish you for words that are actually fighting more for him than against him. 

“Okay.” You whimper, falling silent with your broken voice fading into nothing but cries of the inevitable. 

For all Jake knows, you’re asking him to stop this. What he’s doing to you right now, not for anything else that you meant it for. For your own sake, because you know that after this, you truly may not be able to pull yourself from this fantasy with him. Technically, he’s showing you that he’s willing to hurt you to keep you. To take it from you if that’s what it takes to get what he wants. And that hurts a lot to know, a pain deep within you making you spiral a little more than you ever thought you could.

He’d really go as far as to keep going when you’re crying for him to stop? If just to show you that he…loves you? No, maybe just that he wants this, he wants you. 

You want this, but it’s the fact that he just knows. Even if you say no, even if you beg or plead for him to stop, he’ll just keep going because he knows better than you that you’ll always want him in return. Even if you’re lying to yourself, even if you were able to truly convince yourself that this isn’t at all what you want. Even if it feels like Jake is committing atrocities right now, he knows he’s not. He’s not, even if you say he is. 

And at the end of the day, right now. He truly isn’t. 

You can feel your heart rotting at all that’s lost now. A life with someone normal. A life where you’re normal and can be seen hand in hand with the love of your life as you grocery shop, or get ice cream, or even just take the future dog on a walk. Your dreams are dying, and you can’t stop them. 

You feel a burning pain throughout your body at the force of him now, seemingly trying to fuck your concern away from you. Only now do you open your eyes to look at him, he’s just shapes now. Your tears are messing up the normal clear view you’d have, but you can tell he’s smiling lovingly. 

He doesn’t care that he just ruined your relationship, he doesn’t care that you’re his step-sister, he doesn’t care nor think of how the future could work if he were to keep trying to follow this path, and continue to make you realize you’ll willingly walk down it with him….not when he’s getting this from you. 

Not when he knows that, now at least, he’ll always get what he wants.

You cling harder to him now, sucking your bottom lip into your mouth as you lift to his shoulder and tuck your face there, replacing your lip with his warm and pulsing skin. Jake is pleasantly surprised by this, after all that he did to you, he really thought he’d have to work harder to get these lips to willingly suck on his skin again without him puppeteering you. 

“Yeah?” He turns his face against your forehead as you suck, still crying and tasting the salt from your tears mixed with the saliva you’re drooling onto him. “Sunghoon can’t make you feel this good?” He continues to talk himself up. 

You remain silent as you try to drown out your thoughts with the pleasure he gives instead, feeling the way his normally gentle hands are rough holding you up, feeling the way your body shifts with each thrust up, hearing the way he breathes for you, speaks for you, and moans for you. 

You hate to say you love it right now. Hate that you let your dream of a normal life die so easily. Hate you love him enough to let him do this to you, really. 

“Jake–” You hiccup, exhausted. “I can’t believe you’d go this far.” 

Only in those words do you realize how taboo and…erotic it is. To have a man willing to not only claim you as his own through forcing jealousy on your boyfriend and pain on you, but you guess the borderline sexual assault is another thing. 

It’s not that you’re into it. In fact, you’re terrified of that. But it’s just…the way he knows you is attractive. The way he will protect you from any situation he caused…turns you on, even if he’s the one you need protecting from. God, the way he’ll fuck you through all the lies you tell yourself. 

Shit.

“I’d go further.” He chuckles, out of breath as he chases the expanse of your clenched walls. “Would’ve brought you to his house and fucked you right there at his front door. Let everyone know.”

You shake your head out of fear of that situation at first, and then suddenly find yourself smiling and losing your mind a bit. God, that would be hot if it were like, you know, not something that would get you disowned by not only family, but literally everyone aside from Jake. 

“Should’ve seen his face, baby–” Jake moans just thinking about it, loving that he has what no one else can have. “Said he was disgusted but…I think he was turned on. Really, couldn’t look away from you sucking my dick like that– God,” He cuts himself off by grabbing at you, shoving you back down and into your pillows, both hands running up your shirt and pushing it up to your collarbone. He gropes and pinches at your tits, half of his plush bottom lip caught between his teeth as sweat drips into his eyelashes. 

“Couldn’t tell if he wished he was me–” A sarcastic laugh. “or maybe even you.” His moans continue to mesh with his laughter, now moving one hand to your neck and leaning down to lick against your lips with another pointed thrust. “I’d never fuck anyone better than I’ll fuck you though.”

“Gotta say, if he wanted it bad enough, he’d look pretty choking on it too. Never as pretty as you.” He continues talking, and talking, and talking. 

You don’t really process his words though, or recognize if he’s being truthful or just making shit up, nor do you care. To be fair, there isn’t anything in this world left to care about aside from him now. Not yourself, not Sunghoon, your parents, or anyone out wandering the world right now. 

“Stop–” You moan at the way he rubs his pelvis against your clit with his now, deeper thrusts. “Stop fucking talking about him.”

He smiles wide against your lips in victory, feeling his muscle tense up at you asking to forget about Sunghoon. And so, he listens to you for the first time since you’ve been home, he fucking listens. 

Jake says nothing now, instead he focuses his hips and notes how now, your pussy feels too used. Or maybe his cock is just numb and oversensitive, he’s not sure. It’s not hard really, to reach down and shove three fingers into you alongside his cock, offering extra sensation to both his balls and the underside of his length as he continues to fuck into you with what he can only assume to be a painful stretch. 

His body shivers with an embarrassing moan at that, rolling his eyes back. 

“You hate him?” Jake says, but it sounds more like a plea for you to agree as he chases an orgasm far too fucking close. 

You don’t respond because at this point his words are just there as fluff in your head. You’re more focused on the insecure feeling inside of you at how he’s had to use his hand to help him get off. It...feels so bad knowing that you can’t give him what he wants after all this. After you promised. And, so, you build up the courage to lift quickly, catching him off guard, and hug him around his neck. 

There, his fingers skew slightly, to the point it’s painful for him to keep them in place and he’s forced to pull them back and instead, hold you up in his own hug as he spirals. God, he missed you so much. Look at you now, after trying to deny him, deny yourself of wanting this. You’re bouncing on him like you always have, frantically moving your hips with no rhyme or reason, solely to get him off. 

He lets out a loud moan, not caring if your parents wake up to it. Not caring about anything but the pussy choking his cock out now. The change in position offered a new form of tightness, and he doesn’t need an extra boost of pleasure anymore. Not with you breathing against his mouth like this, still crying, except now it’s like you’re crying because he hasn’t gotten off yet. 

“Yeah, that’s it.” He nods his head, lips playing with yours with each nod of his head as he squeezes his eyes shut. “Fuck, you always know what I like.”

Just like that, all of your insecurity is washed away. You feel him twitch inside of you, and the way his hands nearly bruise you in this hug feels…right. It’s what you need, what you want. 

“He ever cum in you?” Jake pants out, noting the way you aggressively shake your head in an answer. 

And normally, he’d pull out. Normally, there’s a condom involved in this. Not today though, even as you note the familiar sound choking from his throat, and that even more familiar twitch of his cock. You try to pry yourself away from him, palms pressing on his chest as you argue. 

“Jake! Pull out, Let me up!” 

He doesn’t let you though. Instead, he grabs both of your wrists and presses you right back down on the bed, overpowering you through his orgasm and fucking all of that cum right into you. Intentionally, with purpose. 

“No,” He croaks out in a breath, still lost in his orgasm. “I won’t.” 

You try to wiggle away from him still, despite knowing he’s already started cumming. What’s the point now if not just to still have some type of control over your own body? He, again, doesn’t let you, pressing your wrists painfully into your own stomach, forcing you to feel each pulse and spurt of him for the first time through the pressure of his hold.

He’s never done this to you before, then again, This isn’t the same Jake you’re used to no matter how much you try to relate the feelings and love to the Jake you were with last summer. And…you need to lie to yourself right now at how good it feels to have him fuck his cum into you well past his orgasm, because admitting it would be the last thing you could do tonight to really throw you off the deep end. 

He makes you admit it though, still fucking his cock into you regardless of how it’s growing softer and softer by the second. Doing it solely because he knows more cum will drip out as he shrinks back down. He wants to feel each second of your walls clenching, trying to push him out and knowing it never can. 

He holds you down harder now, wincing at his own sensitivity as he plays with himself inside of you, lending pained chuckles and eye rolls with each sound of disgust you make towards him for it. And only after he slips out and can’t manage to fold it back into you does he really look at you. 

Tilting his head with an innocent smile on his face, he releases your hands and shoots his own up to your face, cupping both cheeks before leaning down and kissing you as hard as he can with what little breath he has left. 

“I deserved that.” He says between kisses. “You deserved it.” He sounds slightly irritated saying that part, but his kiss stays gentle and sweet. “You owed me this.”

You’re not sure if he meant any of that, but you find yourself agreeing. 

[2thestars-andbeyond]

Little Rabbit

Summary: Y/n is the youngest Archeron sister. While training with Rhysand, she winnows herself to the Autumn Court by mistake and finds someone she can't seem to get off her mind..

"Just close your eyes and try again." Rhysand told me, sternly. I'm sure he was getting pretty fed up with me and my training. Plus we'd been at this for a good three hours now. "Close your eyes and concentrate."

"That's what I've been doing Rhys! And its not working!" I took a deep breath trying not to lose my temper. "I just end up five feet from where i'm standing."

Winnowing was hard and learning how to use the power was draining. Taking a seat on a near by stump, I wiped away a stay tear that started to roll down my cheek.

"Winnowing is a power not all Fae have. It takes a good deal of concentration and strength. try again Y/N. Try to think of another spot in the woods."

All the woods looked the same. Every tree the same type of maple. Every blade of grass the same shade of green.

I rolled my eyes at Rhys. "I'm not sure why you have so much faith in me winnowing anyway. I'm obviously not that good at it so i'm not sure why it matters so much."

Rhys took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face. "Y/n, I know you can do this. Close your eyes and try again. Focus on the tree that Azriel is standing next to."

Az just nodded at me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I always loved being in the woods especially during autumn. All the colors and cool breezes. Soon, in my minds eye, the tree behind the Shadow Singer had vibrant orange leaves and a cool breeze blew my hair. I ripped my eyes open.

"You've got to be kidding me." I whispered in disbelief. I had done it. I had finally winnowed, right into the Autumn Court...

"I knew that asshole was up to something" Rhysand had been trying for the past week to get me to winnow. I hope he's happy now.

"I know you can do it" I mocked my brother in law as I walked through the unfamiliar forest of Autumn. I knew it was a matter of time before Beron's sentries found me. Rhysands "I know you can do it" is probably going to get beheaded or whatever they do to trespassers in this Court.

I heard shuffling in the nearby bushes. I stopped so abruptly I almost fell. "Please don't be a bear or a wolf."

I let out a sigh of relief as a squirrel jetted out of the bush.

"Are you lost little rabbit?"

I whirled around and bumped right into a red haired male.

"Shit." I murmured under my breath, finding it hard to find my voice.

He smirked. "You are far from home. Don't worry. I already informed Rhysand."

I had never met this male before. So how did he know who I was? He took a step around means continued down the path.

"I do have to say that it is pretty impressive that you winnowed this far away from Night. nearly four courts away. Come. We will meet your high lord somewhere safe. Beron has eyes and ears everywhere. Sometimes I fear the creatures are on his side as well."

I ran to catch up with him. "Wait so you aren't going to turn me in?"

He chuckled. "Why would I do that? Hmm?" His amber eyes met mine.

His gaze was intense and nearly took my breath away. "I-it's just that i'm trespassing, correct? I was sure that would be punishable in such a cutthroat Court?"

"Oh, it is. Usually anyway, but I told Beron i'd check out the breech in the border."

We walked for what seemed like forever. Passing by tree after tree, all of them different it seemed, unlike the forest back home. Every tree different shades of Autumn colors. More vibrant than I had ever seen back in the night Court or the human lands for that matter. Before I knew it we had reached a clearing.

"Take my hand" The male told me. "Rhysand waits for you in the clearing."

I gave him a skeptical look, "Ahh. I don't see anything inside the clearing"

"Just trust me." He replied offering me his hand.

"How do I know I can trust you? I don't even know you."

"I would never let any harm come to you, Y/n." I gasped as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his chest. The smell of crackling fire and spice engulfed me as he winnowed us into the clearing.

Rhysand, Feyre and Az appeared before me. Azriel, noting how close the male held me, drew his knife.

"Calm down Shadow Singer, she is unharmed. Aren't you little rabbit?" He asked, bringing my chin up so that my eyes met his again.

Azriel growled. but the male let me go. Taking one more look at his face, I ran into my older sisters arms. "I'm okay. " I assured them.

"Thank you Eris for keeping her safe." Rhys stated.

"It is strange though. That she winnowed so far from home." Eris mused. "Makes one wonder what drew her to a court she had never stepper foot into." With that, he disappeared.

Shocked was an understatement. The male that had saved me was the Heir of Autumn. the male every one talks so much shit about. And all I could think about was how his warm hand felt wrapped around my wrist. How his finger had gently raised my chin, how his amber eyes seemed to darken as they bore into mine.

[0vergrowngraveyard]

the end nine’s story really was an “alls well that ends well!” moment

[ohbueckers]

TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME (both ain’t shit). i just wanna get to know you, guess i didn’t quite think it through.

THIS IS PART TWO! pairing, paige bueckers x fem!oc. notes, thank you guys for all the love on the first part!!! it only made me more excited for this rollercoaster fr... here’s part two 🫦 not proofread… warnings, injury and the angst with that!

july, 2022

it had been a few weeks since sana’s first practice, and things had shifted between her and paige—though not entirely for the better or worse.

the sun had been setting over the outdoor court. it was one of those perfect summer nights where the heat had finally loosened its grip and mellowed to something more bearable. the team had migrated outside because the gym’s ac was busted, and this hangout—just a casual run, really—felt different. lighter. less pressure.

azzi had brought a speaker, blasting music that set the tone for the evening. most of the girls had left to grab pizza and bring it back, but a few stayed behind, shooting around, lounging on the benches, laughing and talking.

sana had blended in perfectly with the huskies these past few weeks, getting along especially well with nika, azzi, and caroline. nika, in particular, had taken a liking to her no-nonsense attitude, and let’s just say practice was a pain in the ass for their coaches when they weren’t entirely focused. when nika made a joke, sana was always there to back it up, making it ten times funnier. you can also say that paige caught most of these strays.

the rest of the team seemed to quickly hop on the sana train themselves. she was a perfectionist in a way that wasn’t overbearing, and it was why her game was so good in the first place. she made everyone around her better by just being herself, and it showed. but even so, she’d built rapport with most of them, save for one notable exception.

paige bueckers, of course.

paige, who had spent the last few weeks vacillating between subtle irritation and begrudging respect when it came to sana. there were moments where she’d find herself looking and wondering why she couldn’t just relax, couldn’t just click with her the way she did with everyone else. if it wasn’t exactly hate, then what was it?

they weren’t at each other’s throats, in fact, the first day of practice was probably as hostile as it had ever gotten between them. sana was mature enough to the point where she wouldn’t let it get that far, but always pushed it borderline to the edge. every interaction was like a test, some back-and-fourth exchange that only left paige to think what the fuck sana even meant by what she’d just said, because she swore there was some bigger meaning.

the first few weeks had been like that. testing boundaries. sana with her measured responses, and paige with her quick retorts and lingering glances in which she always denied, kinda like right now.

paige was standing near the sideline, pretending to dribble aimlessly while keeping a very subtle eye on sana, who had moved to grab a drink of water at the other end of the court. it was unintentional—at least that’s what she told herself—but her eyes always seemed to find their way back to her, no matter where she was.

the blonde found herself noticing other things, things she had no business noticing for the amount of times she’s actually had a conversation with the girl that didn’t include some type of jab. the way sana’s smile tilted just a bit when she was being sarcastic, the way her eyes narrowed slightly when she was focused. paige hated that she noticed those things—hated that sana was in her head at all.

nika, who had been watching the whole thing with a growing smirk, sauntered over to paige, draping an arm over her shoulders. “you know, if you’re gonna keep staring, at least make it less obvious.”

paige elbowed her in the side, pushing the brunette off of her with a smug smirk. “you can shut up.”

nika stumbled back dramatically, clutching her side as if paige had actually hurt her. “damn, alright!” she laughed, tossing her ponytail behind her head. “but seriously, i thought this was just a first day thing. shouldn’t the transfer aftershock be well over by now?”

paige rolled her eyes, licking her lips as more of a habit than necessity as she began dribbling the basketball again. she kept her head down, focusing on the sound against the pavement as she passed from hand to hand, sliding the ball between her legs a few times too. “there’s nothing to get over.”

“sure, sure,” nika said, her grin wide, as if she didn’t believe a single word. her eyes flicked between paige and the far end of the court, where sana had just finished downing half a water bottle, her shoulders rising and falling. she then looked at azzi, who had been making her way back over from messing with the songs on her playlist.

of course her best friend had noticed too.

“wait, what are we talking about? paige and sana?” azzi threw out as if she’d been dying to talk about it for a hot minute. “because you have got a terrible poker face,” the curly-haired girl pointed at paige, the comment sending nika into a fit of snickers that had her hunching over.

paige’s head whipped to her. “nah, you can chill too,” she said, pointing at azzi with mock exasperation. “and it’s not that funny,” paige deadpanned, although she couldn’t bite back her smirk for the life of her.

nika straightened up, giving paige a faux serious look as she tilted her head back thoughtfully. “okay, sure you don’t wanna tell her how good she looks in navy?”

and well, it only made the blonde more upset that she did indeed look too good in that damn navy workout tee.

“i ain’t even lookin’ at her like that,” paige said, too defensive way too quickly. she punctuated her response with a cheesy grin, the type she used to play it cool while her insides were knotting up.

“really? cause you’ve got that whole wistful longing look on lock down.” nika gave her a look herself, a long one that made the blonde semi-uncomfortable. the brunette was reading her to filth, but paige had came to the conclusion awhile ago that nothing could happen if the feelings weren’t reciprocated. nothing would happen.

“wistful?” paige stared, shaking her head. “she hates me.”

nika raised her eyebrows, jerking her head back. “oh! so you’re saying you’d crush if she didn’t hate you?”

paige huffed out a laugh, scrunching her face up as she let the ball roll to a stop under her foot. “crush is actually crazy, nika.”

“eh, not entirely,” azzi chimed in, her eyes gleaming with that ‘i see you’ look. nika practically jumped for joy at the backup, like it was a victory to have someone else on her side. clearly, she wasn’t the only one who’d noticed.

paige groaned internally, feeling cornered and slightly taken aback. “y’all think i have no self-control? we’re teammates.”

nika crossed her arms, smirking. “i’m praying that you do.”

paige paused for a second, brain tripping over nika’s words. that’s what everyone thought, right? that they were just teammates, that the line couldn’t be crossed. she kept telling herself that too—telling herself that all these games, all the heat, and tension between her and sana would eventually fizzle out because it had to. because it was supposed to.

“let’s be real for a second,” azzi said, looking down as she searched for the right words. she had a ball tucked underneath her arm. “if anything did happen between y’all—and i’m not saying it will—” she shot paige a pointed look, one that told her to not get defensive and cut her off. “—it’d throw the whole team off balance.”

“i know!” the blonde cut in, her voice sharper than she meant it to be. “but that’s not even on the table. nothing’s gonna happen.” she felt like she was convincing herself more than anyone else.

nika shrugged. “i mean, you say that now, but feelings are weird. and they don’t care about what’s allowed.”

paige stayed quiet for a second, turning over the idea. they don’t care about what’s allowed. feelings don’t care about what you’ve got going on, they just seep their way in.

she knew the rules, of course—both the ones the coaching staff had laid out and the unspoken ones. she couldn’t let this thing, whatever it was, turn into more. it wasn’t just about her or sana. it was about the team. the season. the future. the problem was that knowing that didn’t make the tension between them any less real. or maybe it was all in her head.

they don’t care about what’s allowed.

just as paige was about to respond, sana, oblivious—or pretending to be—was making her way back over to the group, the lazy saunter in her step practically designed to test paige’s patience. she straightened up instinctively, breathing in all straight-faced as she leaned over to pick up the ball from the ground.

“i brought friends,” she announced, caroline and ice stalking behind her. “what are you guys so serious about?” sana then asked, her eyes shifting between nika and azzi before landing on paige, as if her comment was more directed at the blonde. the question felt a little too casual, like sana had noticed how much less at ease paige was compared to just a few moments ago before she’d left.

“uh,” paige cleared her throat, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, feeling uncharacteristically off-balance. “we were just…talkin’ about the team.”

nika stared at her friend in actual disbelief. she was stuttering, and normally she’d jump to make fun of her for it, but she wanted to observe how this would play out. her answer was vague, sure, but it was the best she could come up with on the spot. paige wasn’t used to being caught off guard, especially not by sana. their interactions—when they did happen—were usually trash talk that was easy to brush off in the moment but lingered with her long after. but right now, there was something about sana’s direct attention that had her fumbling.

meanwhile, sana caught the hesitation in paige’s voice. she tilted her head ever so slightly, her smirk growing a little wider. paige stuttering? that was a first.

paige never stuttered.

ice broke the brief silence with a laugh. “are we playin’ or what?”

paige, determined to regain her footing, grinned and stepped back, dribbling the ball lazily between her legs as she walked backward. her eyes stayed locked on sana’s, her confidence slowly returning. “we’ll start,” she said, her voice a little lower now, challenging. “just don’t be mad when i drop 30 on you.”

sana’s smirk didn’t falter. she strolled closer, her hands clasped behind her back. “oh, you think you’re actually gonna score on me? i didn’t even know you had jokes like that.”

paige scrunched her face up, half from the setting sun taking over her eyesight, and half in disbelief. “i got more than just jokes,” she shot back, continuing to walk backward, her grin widening as she bounced the ball from hand to hand. “you ready to see?”

“i’m ready for you to see,” sana countered. her eyes moved down to the ball for a second before rising to meet paige’s again. then maybe to her perfectly parted pink lips, but then to her eyes again. “you’ll be the one sitting down after this.”

azzi, watching the scene unfold alongside everyone else, couldn’t hold back any longer. “double meaning,” she muttered under her breath, making nika nearly lose it beside her, biting her lip to keep from laughing too loudly.

sana’s gaze briefly moved toward azzi, catching the comment even though it was quiet. for a split second, her confident smirk faltered, and she narrowed her eyes at paige. “what were you talking about before i came back?” she asked, and the blonde should’ve known sana of all people would ask even if she had the slightest feeling it was about her. she was confrontational.

paige felt the shift immediately, recognizing that azzi’s offhand comment had landed. but instead of backing down, she kept her cool, though her heart was beating a little faster. “nothin’ you can’t handle,” she replied, her tone smug as she kept dribbling.

sana paused, tilting her head as she always did as if she was trying to piece everything together. “you guys talking about me?”

paige hesitated for half a second, barely noticeable to anyone except herself. “paranoid?”

“curious.”

paige licked her lips, holding her ground. “i said it was nothin’ you can’t handle, remember?”

sana’s smirk shifted, becoming a little sharper as she moved just close enough to make her presence felt. “right,” she said slowly, as if she didn’t believe her. “just wondering if i’m that interesting.”

the blonde’s eyes narrowed, fingers tightening around the basketball. “only when you talk too much.” she smiled, a wide one that left sana actually laughing as she pushed at her shoulder with two hands.

“shut up.”

paige stumbled back slightly, more out of performance than anything else, her grin never faltering. “you love to hate me, don’t you?”

sana blinked, clearly thrown, and for a moment paige had thought she’d pushed too far. crossed some invisible line she couldn’t quite see. but what she wasn’t ready for was the simple, almost quiet reply that followed. in fact, sana cursed herself for how vulnerable she sounded, that her mind felt the need to make it known to paige.

“i don’t hate you.”

and well, paige was thrown too.

august, 2022

you could’ve asked paige bueckers two weeks ago where she’d be today, right now, and it would be nowhere along the lines of sitting hopelessly in her bed with a torn acl injury. two weeks ago, she was at practice, thinking about championships, the first game all the way in november, and how invincible they’d be this season. two weeks ago, everything made sense.

now, nothing did.

she stared at the ceiling, the weight of the brace on her knee acting like a reminder she couldn’t shake off. the ache wasn’t just physical—it was deep, gnawing at her, like she’d lost a part of herself. this wasn’t supposed to happen. not to her. and now, she couldn’t even walk without wincing.

her phone vibrated with a text from her mom, the same encouraging words she’d gotten since the surgery: “you’re strong, paige. you’ll get through this.”

she knew her family meant well, but the truth was, they weren’t here. they weren’t the ones stuck in this room, feeling like the walls were closing in. they weren’t the ones who had to deal with the brutal reality of an injury that would change everything. they came through, sure—reassured her, gave her hugs, gifts, and pep talks, but then they left. they had lives to return to, jobs, obligations. paige was left here, marooned on campus, staring at a future she couldn’t control.

she hadn’t even been able to bring herself to watch the replay of the moment it happened. the wrong landing, the sharp twist, the way she knew immediately that something was off. the doctor’s words played on a loop in her head: “it’s a torn acl, paige. you’re gonna need surgery.” it was like they were speaking in slow motion, but time sped up so quickly after that. surgery dates just days after, recovery plans, the end of everything she’d been working for—at least for the season, maybe more.

how did this happen so fast?

she let out a breath, reaching for the bottle of water on her bedside table. caroline had been a constant, at least. she’d stuck around, even when she could’ve gone home to her family, to summer plans that didn’t involve taking care of her friend. the blonde was grateful, but there was a part of her that felt…resentful. she didn’t want to be anyone’s burden, and yet, here she was.

the door creaked open, and paige looked up, expecting caroline to walk in with her usual easy smile. but it wasn’t caroline.

it was sana.

paige’s brows furrowed. she didn’t expect to see her until practices started up again, let alone here, on campus, in the middle of summer. her hair was braided into two neat french braids, her skin glowing like she hadn’t just been dealing with whatever hell life had thrown at her.

“sana… what’re you doing here?” paige asked, more bluntly than she intended. there was a part of her that didn’t trust this—sana showing up out of nowhere, like she cared. she’d checked in alongside the rest of the team, yes, but to show up? it was an entirely different story.

sana shrugged, her usual confidence slightly muted. “i thought i’d check in.” she didn’t sit down, didn’t drop her bag. she lingered near the doorway, like she wasn’t sure if she should stay.

paige stared at her, suddenly a little self-conscious that sana had been seeing her like this, her knee propped up on a stack of pillows caroline had set up for her. she didn’t know why. “thought you’d be enjoying your summer.”

sana’s jaw tightened, her eyes flickering for just a second before she shrugged again, more casually this time. “not much to enjoy back home.”

paige felt that. but she wasn’t about to let her guard down just because sana had decided to play the good teammate card. “what, your family didn’t want you back?” she asked, half-joking, half-serious.

sana’s expression faltered for a fraction of a second, and paige caught it. ah, she thought. there it was—something deeper. something that made her just as messed up inside as paige felt right now.

“they weren’t exactly throwing a party for my return,” sana said, leaning against the wall now, arms crossed over her chest. she avoided eye contact, and paige suddenly felt like an asshole for pressing.

“everybody’s got their shit right now then, huh?” paige muttered, sighing as she leaned back against the her headboard.

sana glanced at her, a small smirk playing on her lips, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “yeah, something like that.” she finally moved from the doorway, settling on the chair across the room. there was still distance between them, but it was the closest they’d ever gotten to having a multi-layered conversation, something that unlocked all of the fronts sana had put up.

paige shifted slightly, watching her. the tension between them, however, was still there—longing, unspoken things neither of them seemed ready to admit, but for once, it felt like they weren’t playing a game. paige didn’t know if she could handle another layer of uncertainty in her life right now, but this? it felt different. on the other hand, she couldn’t shake the feeling that sana was here out of obligation rather than choice.

“why’d you really come?” paige asked, her voice softer now.

sana met her eyes, a set of absolutely exhausted blue hues. “i know we’re not exactly best friends, but it felt like the right thing to do,” she huffed out.

paige couldn’t help but smirk, and sana had seen that look before. she furrowed her eyebrows, already sensing the shift. “what?” she asked, her hands gesturing in a way that made it clear she wasn’t about to play along with whatever paige was thinking.

her smirk widened. “who knew all it would take is me getting injured for you to stop hating me.”

sana’s reaction was immediate. her lips parted slightly, and she gave a little shake of her head, almost as if she couldn’t believe the words had just come out of paige’s mouth. “i told you i didn’t hate you, p. i’ve never hated you.” the words came out firm, but not defensive.

“you do know you act like it though, right?” she was almost pleading for honesty at this point. “before your transfer. you never even looked my way.”

sana blinked, her posture stiffening slightly. it wasn’t like paige to push like this, to dig beneath the surface. and she definitely hadn’t expected to come here and admit so much, but maybe all they needed was to be sat down in a room together. no noise, no basketball. still, sana couldn’t help the way her defenses rose instinctively. “i didn’t have to look your way,” she said, but there was no bite to her words. it was more of an explanation, a little tired and raw. “everyone already was.”

paige didn’t move, just blinked. “except you.”

sana opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out at first. she wasn’t sure how to explain it—to put into words why she had kept her distance. why she acted like paige didn’t exist, like she wasn’t the one person who’d always gotten under her skin without even trying.

“i don’t know,” sana finally admitted. “i guess… i didn’t want to.”

paige raised an eyebrow. “didn’t want to?”

she let out a breath, leaning forward slightly as if the weight of her thoughts was too much to bear while sitting back. “i’m just competitive. i push myself hard, and you’re one of the best. it’s not hate; it’s just… i don’t know. maybe i was trying to keep up with you.”

sana caruso had said she didn’t know two times practically within the same breath. for the first time, she’d seen the girl actually be unsure of something, unsure about her.

“and i’ve never hated you,” sana repeated, locking eyes with paige as if she needed her to really feel it. “i admire you, actually.”

was this real life?

“i guess i always thought you were untouchable,” paige confessed, mainly because it felt right. “like, you had everything figured out. and here i am, sitting on the sidelines while you about to be out there thriving.” she could’ve chuckled at the thought.

sana shook her head, the playful bravado she usually wore like armor slipping away. “you have no idea how often i felt like i was just pretending. like i was always one mistake away from everyone realizing i wasn’t as good as they thought.”

for a moment, paige didn’t know what to say. it was almost laughable—how similar they were in all the ways that mattered, but neither of them had seen it until now.

“i get that,” she finally said, her voice stripped of its usual humor. “i get it more than you think. i feel like i’ve already made that mistake.”

sana’s eyes softened, and there was an understanding that hadn’t been there before. and for the first time in what felt like forever, paige didn’t feel so alone. she felt seen. by sana, of all people.

“you’ll be back on the court before you know it,” sana said, her voice a little brighter now. she could tell paige had been getting in her head about the injury again, and although she hadn’t experienced something as life-changing as that, she could be there for her. “i can’t wait to see you kick everyone’s ass again.”

paige let out a breath, a laugh breaking through her chest, light but full of relief. “and you’re gonna get our team that chip.”

and sana smiled. at paige.

our team.

[ran-as-one]

for you? anything

pairings: hanni pham x 6thmember!reader

synopsis: y/n is whipped and would do anything for hanni without a second thought because who wouldn't

warning: horrible horrible writing, wrong grammar, messy writing, typos, did i say horrible writing? horrible writing

word count: 1.9k

–things yn has done for hanni

—————

⤷end a live abruptly for hanni

“—and that's why scorton's creek would always be my favourite isaac dunbar song. like, yes, love or the lack thereof is good but-” yn stops her tangent about isaac dunbar's songs when she hears her door creak open.

she looks away from the phone that was propped up on her table to look towards the door to see hanni's head poking through it.

“hi, unnie. need something?” yn asked the older girl who now opened the door wider but still not letting herself in, seeing this, the former motioned for her to let herself in.

she does so before closing the door behind her then walking towards where yn was sat, at her table. “no, not really. just wanted company” she says after reaching the younger girl.

yn spun her chair to face hanni properly “i'm live by the way, in case you weren't aware” yn tells her before reaching for the other’s hands and pulling the older girl closer to herself, only stopping when she was right in front of her and pulling hanni down so she sat on her lap, then spun the chair back so they were facing the phone that had the live still going.

hanni lets the other girl do as she pleases before replying “i know, i was watching in my room awhile ago.” she felt the younger girl's arms wrap around her waist making her melt into her. before looking at the phone, seeing the comments go crazy over their interaction, considering that the door was in frame so they saw her from the moment she opened the door.

“what's going on???” i don't know about you guys, cause nothing's going on” hanni reads as she lets out a laugh at how everyone is reacting.

yn who has been staring at the girl on her lap quietly finally says something “have you eaten dinner, unnie?” she asked the older girl before directing her gaze back to the phone, leaning in, and putting her head on hanni's shoulder to get a better view of the comments that was still rapidly going.

the older girl turns her head to look at yn before replying “no, not yet I don't feel like eating right now” she says, yn who was looking at the comments quickly whips her head to look at the older “I'll make something for you to eat” she says leaving no room for hanni to argue before turning back to the live.

“i know it's only been like 10 minutes since the live started, but sadly i need to end it her-” yn says before getting abruptly interrupted by the older girl on her lap.

“wait, wait, wait, hold on! why are you ending the live i just got here?” hanni says frantically as she tries to turn to face y/n who still had her arms wrapped around her waist.

“im making you dinner, or we could order.” she answers plainly before reaching out to the phone.

“but-”

call has ended

⤷fly back to korea just for hanni's birthday live

“where's yn?” hanni reads out 10 minutes into the live when bunnie's finally noticed the aforementioned girl's absence “unfortunately, yn's out of korea right now for a schedule, I can't tell you guys the details but she said she would call later to make up for it” hanni answers sadly, slightly disappointed (that's a lie she's majorly disappointed) that the girl wasn't here.

hyein, who was right beside her hug's the older girl after hearing the sadness laced into her voice, at the mention of you not being here, “it's okay unnie! we'll just brag about it to her so she knows what she's missing out on!” she says with a laugh, while the other members agree with the youngest trying to lighten up the mood.

_______

30 minutes into the live, they decided to do the candle blowing ceremony (or whatever you call it) a staff member hands them matches to light the candles, minji being the nearest, grabs it and hands it to the birthday girl.

she grabs it from minji before taking one out, as she was about to light the match she remembered the missing girl's promise.

“wait, has y/n called yet?” she asked as she looked towards the staff members behind the camera. a few seconds after she asked, hanni's smile faltered a bit when she heard the staff say no, before anyone could notice she composed herself once more.

hanni grabbed her phone from the end of the table to call you, as you had promised to call during this time but you didn't, so she's taking matters into her own hands.

she tried for a few minutes before ultimately giving up after the third time, all attempts of trying to get a hold of you failing and every call going to voicemail. this time she couldn't hide her disappointment letting out a small ‘oh’.

“she's probably just busy han.” minji says trying to comfort the girl as she places a reassuring hand on her shoulder “i'm sure she'll call later on, don't worry.”

the other members agreeing with the oldest as hyein once again embraces the older girl in comfort.

“yeah…” hanni whispers out before smiling brightly once more at the camera and clapping her hand once. “let's continue!”

she grabbed the match stick she placed on the table earlier and lit the candle with it as everyone started to sing her happy birthday.

after the song ends, they urge hanni to make a wish, and so she does. closing her eyes and said her wish in her head (i think we all know what she wished for) then blew the candles after.

“what did you wish for?”

“it won't come true if i s-” hanni cut herself off and quickly turned towards the direction of the door frantically, and looked at the owner of the voice in shock before quickly getting up from her chair and going out of frame.

“y/n! you're here!”

“hi unnie”

hanni and y/n's voice could be heard from the side as the both of them were still out of frame, only the 4 other members could be seen as they looked to the side where hanni disappeared to, with huge grins on their faces, a knowing look in their eyes.

a minute of silence later the two girls returned as a staff member brought out another chair for you to sit on, the sitting arrangement now being hyein, hanni and danielle at the front with you, minji and haerin at the back.

once everyone was settled again, hanni started to read the comments that seemed to have gotten faster when you appeared. “i think we all know who y/n's favorite member is now.” hanni read aloud as she let out a laugh.

when you heard what hanni read, you started to protest “i don't play favourites! please stop spreading misinformation, bunnies.” you said as you point an accusing finger towards the camera.

“it's true though!” minji said as she turned to you, the others agreeing with her even going on to tell “proofs” of your alleged favouritism towards hanni.

“unnie, you literally flew here from LA just to join the live for hanni unnie”

“yeah well-”

“that's a 13 hour flight unnie”

“okay in my defense-”

“you always buy her stuff.”

“i buy you guys stuff too!!”

“yeah but-”

the back and forth between you and the 4 other members went on for 10 minutes while hanni just watched while laughing because of how hard you're trying to defend yourself. she was happy now, the disappointment she felt throughout the live now gone that the person she wished for is there, sitting behind her as you try and fail to defend yourself from the onslaught of complaints from the others.

⤷ going out to buy snacks while it was raining heavily after an argument

while doing a mini Q&A on her solo phoning live, hanni saw a question that made her eager to answer immediately, as she had the perfect answer for it.

“is there something one of the other members did that touched you dearly?” she read out loud and immediately clapped her hand in excitement.

“oh! oh! oh! there's a lot but I'll only say one.” she says, almost shouting because of how eager she is. “i won't go into much detail since it's private, but! it's something y/n did”

- “of course it's her lmao”

- “everyone act surprised that it's y/n quick!!”

- “she literally gives you princess treatment hanni”

hanni seeing the comments, lets out a laugh before playfully protesting against the comments.

“okay first of all, what do you guys mean “of course it's her”??” she exclaims as she points an accusing finger towards the camera, her face scrunched in playful distaste. “i don't even talk about her that much!”

- “okay, whatever you say” *drops a youtube link to a 30 min video of hanni talking about y/n that was posted months ago*

- “im cryign not the link drop”

- “that video says otherwise”

“okay everyone stop! i get it, i get it! let me continue now” hanni cries out as she rolls her eyes playfully before continuing with her story. “okay so i don't know if i'm allowed to share this but it's whatever.” she utters silently seemingly saying it to herself more than towards the live.

“we got into a pretty bad argument about something, which never happens except for this one.” hanni starts, her voice soft as she continues on,

“she walked out of the room in the middle of the argument and i thought she went to her room so i went to mine too. a few minutes after i went to my room it started to rain heavily” she pauses for a moment as she zones out for a bit seemingly recalling that day before snapping out of it and continuing with her story.

“an hour later someone was knocking at my door and i was just about to sleep since it was pretty late at night, when i opened my door y/n was standing there soaking wet in her hoodie holding a bag of snacks. she just handed me the snacks, apologized and left without even letting me say anything, she looked liked a wet puppy too when i opened the door, and she won't even look me in the eye”

as she finishes telling what happened hanni lets out a small laugh of disbelief at the memory. you didn't even do anything to her, the argument was one sided and you were the one who apologized first when it was her who started it the argument, and the way you apologized too, your voice was full of guilt and sadness.

- “how do we even react to this, wow”

- “Y/N IS RHE STANDARD NOBODY CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE”

- “how and where can i get a y/n, please answer.”

- “bawling my eyes out rn what the heck is that”

seeing everyone's reaction makes her cackle lightly, and honestly she agrees, you are the standard. you talked to her the next morning too apologizing again and you even cooked pancakes for her. she apologized too and explained why she reacted like that and shared her pancakes with you (you didn't cook any for yourself for some reason, all you were thinking is the ones for hanni and hanni only) after you guys talked and made up.

a/n: im new and this is my first time writinf because i have nothing to do with my life and im just full of ideas so why not, i should be sleepinf rn bcs its currently almost 3 am and i have to get up early later this has been in my files dor like 2 months now and i juat need to get this out ao i finished it tonjght cause i cant sleep lmao, im not even done with setting up my account damn

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Working at Millers bar, one night your drunk ex comes in to start trouble. Feelings grow for Joel but he thinks he’s no good for you.]

Smut, angst, slight mention of DV.

“Honey, I ain’t the man you think I am”

It was a typical late Friday night working at the Millers bar. The place was packed as Joel stood beside you pouring drinks. It usually always got like this on the weekends, which is why Joel had you working so you could gain the most tip. Him and Tommy would sometimes give you half of their tips at the end of a night, always looking out for you knowing you didn’t have much people who did.

It was nice having men like Joel and Tommy on your side…especially Joel. From the moment he gave you this job you found yourself liking him more and more. It was hard to stop yourself from staring, it was hard not to get a little jealous when you’d see women throw themselves at him. Women he was never interested in, he was a real loner when it came to dating…his daughter Sarah being his main priority.

“Hey honey, you alright?” Joels hand brushing past your arm as he walked by you.

“Yes, just trying to move quickly” you chuckled as you mixed a drink looking around the bar when your heart stopped. Your ex walking in through the front door clearly looking for someone.

Looking for you.

“Hey baby, good to see you” Jake spoke loudly as he walked up to the bar making Joel look up.

“Jake-“ you spoke nervously.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you” you poured the drink in a cup and handed it to the customer beside him with a smile.

“Of course you weren’t” he looked around the room before his eyes stopped on you.

“So can I have a drink, you know what I like” he winked at you as you stood still before feeling a slight nudge from Joel.

“You ok?”

“Yeah” you quickly smiled at Joel assuring him everything was fine.

Joel took a step back serving other customers as he kept an eye on Jake, he never liked him, he never trusted him. Tommy working beside him, he subtly tapped him on the arm and motioned in your direction.

“Keep an eye on them two, I gotta get some stuff from the back real quick”

“No worries, I’m watching him” Tommy whispered.

A half hour passed as Jake ordered another two drinks, he didn’t say much but you didn’t like the look he had. You could tell he was up to something.

“Let me asking you something, baby”

“What?” You crossed your arms as Joel stood close by.

“This where you met him?”

“What?” You asked confused as Jake chuckled sarcastically.

“Now you’re acting like you don’t know”

“Jake, what are you talking about?”

“You cheated on me, you think I don’t know?!” He suddenly yelled causing Joel to look over.

“Jake-“ you stepped closer to the bar that was between you both.

“I’m at work, don’t start. You’re drunk, you know I never cheated-“

“Don’t lie to me!” He yelled louder slamming his glass on the table.

“What’s his name?”

“There’s no other man!” You yelled back when Jake unexpectedly stood up and attempted to grab you by your wrist until Joel instantly stood before you pushing you behind him, blocking his reach.

“Get the hell out of here” Joel threw a towel over his shoulder as he leaned over the bar getting in Jake’s face who backed away.

“Go on, leave. You ain’t welcome here” Tommy stood beside Joel as the room went completely silent. Everyone staring at Jake as he angrily walked out slamming the doors shut. Everyone slowly went back to normal as Joel turned to you while Tommy went to make sure he had truly left.

“You alright?” He could tell you were a bit shaken up.

“Uh, yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry, I have no idea why he came in here like that”

“You don’t have to apologize” he assured you.

“You can go to the back, help with the dishes. You don’t have to stay out here” with a breath of relief you nodded.

“Thanks, Joel” he watched as you quickly walked off before getting back to working.

At the end of the night you hadn’t said much. He watched as you grabbed your purse before he stopped you.

“Let me give you a ride tonight, just incase you run into the nutcase” relieved that he offered you a ride you nodded and smiled.

The drive was silent after Joel made his first stop and dropped Tommy off at his girlfriend’s house. You sat in the passenger seat looking out the window not noticing how Joel looked over at you. Scratching his throat he tried to think of a way to bring up your situation without making you feel uncomfortable but before he spoke you unexpectedly bought it up.

“About today” you took a deep breath.

“It won’t happen again, he won’t ever disrupt the bar again like that-“

“He better not ever disrupt you like that again, cause I know that won’t ever happen in my bar again” he spoke confidently as he drove.

“Look, I know it ain’t my business but-“ he looked over at you during a red light.

“Ya gotta stay away from boys like that. That ain’t love, you think that boy has your best interest?”

“I know” you sighed.

“You’re better than that, doll. You’re a beautiful woman” your heart skipped a beat, had he not looked away to continue his drive he would’ve noticed how red your cheeks turned.

“Thanks” you whispered shyly brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I mean it, you need a more respectful man. A hard worker” the more he spoke the more you thought about him and your feelings for him, something you managed to hide all this time.

“These little boys don’t know how to handle a woman like yourself, you need someone more on your level, darlin’”

“Like you” you blurt out making him quickly look your way.

“Oh no no, that’s not what I meant-“

“You’re a hard worker, you’re a good man, Joel. You’re respectful and I-I guess….I guess that’s why I’ve always…had these feelings for you” you couldn’t believe you were admitting to the feelings you had for him..something you never thought you would do. Joel took a deep breath as his hand tightened on the steering wheel.

“Honey, I ain’t the man you think I am” his voice was hoarse as he spoke, his eyes on the road.

“Joel I-“

“I’m no good for you, you don’t need someone like me, trust me plus I’m old enough to be your damn daddy” he pulled up on your block. You could feel your stomach turn from his rejection, you felt like an idiot.

“Look-“ Joel turned towards you.

“I think you’re beautiful, you’re smart, shit I’d be lucky to have a woman like you but…I just ain’t all that good” you refused to believe that.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said anything” you tried disconnecting your seatbelt, struggling to remove it. Joel helped you un click it as you refused to look him in the eye.

“No, don’t be sorry-“

“Just forget I said anything please” you opened the car door quickly letting yourself out. Before Joel could say another word you walked off in embarrassment. He watched as you walked in your front door, his eyes never leaving you as he took a deep breath. Joel never had a clue this entire time you had feelings for him. Of course he’d be lying if he said he didn’t check you out at times but he never let you catch him. He never let it get over his head.

The next day you anxiously walked in to your shift for the evening. Tommy behind the bar serving a drink as you put your bag down.

“Not too busy yet?” You sighed looking around.

“No, Joel’s gonna come in a little later by the way. He’s gonna close with you tonight-“ you quickly looked up at him.

“I thought it was your turn to close with me”

“Well, I got some things I need to do. I’ll close with you tomorrow.” Taking a deep breath you decided to go about your shift. What was the big deal? You admitted your feelings to Joel and he rejected you, nothing you couldn’t handle…right?

Grabbing some more liquor from the stock room you came out to Joel walking in your direction, your heart instantly dropping. Of course you tried to look down acting as if you didn’t see him but he knew better, yet Tommy intervened before he could say a word to you.

Closing your eyes with relief you walked back to the bar and proceeded to serve the customers.

After some time Joel came back out and couldn’t help but notice what you were wearing. A short jean skirt with a black top, he noticed how the men kept their eyes on you, something he never really liked.

“Hey, sweet cheeks, can I get a refill” a man sitting at the bar grinned handing you his glass. Joel watched as you innocently turned and bent over to grab a fresh cup, the man waiting for his drink tilting his head trying to get a glimpse of whatever he could see beneath your skirt. Just as Joel took a step forward you quickly stood up and turned to the man oblivious to what he was doing.

“Here you go” you smiled not knowing Joel had been watching the entire interaction.

“Might want another one very soon, don’t go too far” the man chuckled with a wink.

“Well, just let me know whenever you’re ready” you smiled before turning and accidentally running into Joel. When the hell did he get that close?

“Hey, why don’t you do me a favor and go take care of those ladies for me” he motioned towards a group of women sitting on the other end.

“But he-“

“I got him” Joel assured you.

Quietly you nodded and did as he asked.

Joel watched as the man drank himself away before calling out for his next drink.

“Another one please..” he slurred as Joel walked towards him.

“No, no, I want that- sexy server lady..” he grinned looking at you from across the bar.

“Yeah well, she’s busy right now” Joel grabbed the cup and served him as you continued working. The man shrugged and continued to have his drink as his attention went elsewhere.

The night went on when you noticed one of your good friends walk in. She smiled at you eagerly before sitting in front of you.

“Why do you have that look on your face?”

You immediately sensed she was up to something.

“Don’t kill me, ok?”

“What, Julie?” You sighed placing your hand on your hip.

“Jake wants to talk to you” she blurt out, the mention of Jake’s name catching Joel’s attention. His back to you as he wiped down some cups, eager to hear what you would say.

“And-“

“I told him you’d meet him after work” she squeezed her eyes shut as she quickly spoke.

“Are you kidding me? No! Why would you tell him that?!”

“Jake loves you he just…he just gets mad at times like any man would and you know, sometimes he might have technically put his hands on you but-“ Joel turned his head looking back.

“Technically?!” You were insulted, you couldn’t believe the way Julie spoke.

“I don’t want to see him and I think you should leave too.”

“Oh come on, don’t be so sensitive-“

“Bye, Julie.” Joel heard your voice crack as you quickly walked off. Taking a deep breath he turned to Julie narrowing his eyes on her without her noticing.

“What’s wrong?” Tommy noticed Joel’s expression just as Julie got up and walked out of the bar.

“Nothin’ watch the bar for me” he threw a rag on the counter and walked to the back room to find you.

In the room where all the supplies were you stood behind a shelf hiding when you heard the door open. Quickly wiping your tears off your face you heard Joel’s voice.

“Hey, you alright?”

“Yes-yes” you cleared your throat as you came out from your hiding space.

“Sorry, I just needed a minute, my friend was just-“

“That ain’t ya friend” he bluntly cut you off. You knew he was right and quietly nodded.

“If anyone comes in that you don’t want here you just tell me and they’re gone, honey. Tommy and I ain’t gonna let anyone bother you, ya hear me?”

“Thanks, Joel” you whispered looking away awkwardly. This being the first actual interaction you both had since you confessed your feelings to him. Now here he was seeing you cry like an idiot. Yet, Joel was thinking of you as anything but an idiot. Joel found himself replaying what you had said the night before from the moment he woke up that morning. Your confession triggering something inside him, curiosity maybe, he didn’t know, either way he couldn’t stop it.

“I better get back” you quickly attempted to walk past him until he caught you by your arm. Slowly pulling you a couple steps back so that you were face to face with him he moved a step closer. Not having any idea what he was thinking you froze, until you felt his large hand gently grabbed your waist. His dark eyes lost in yours, he leaned in and took your lips with his. His free hand caressing your face when Tommy’s voice made you both quickly jump apart.

“I’m gonna leave soon, Joel” Tommy knocked on the door. Quickly you walked out, running into Tommy who realized you were acting strangely.

“Yeah, yeah, I know” Joel called out a bit irritated by his brother’s interruption.

“I’ll be right there!” He continued.

Rushing back to the bar you continued your work as if nothing happened, yet your stomach was swirling inside, butterflies that you could feel in between your thighs.

What the hell just happened?

Unsure what to think of anything you did your best to simply focus on your customers, that is until slowly everyone began to leave.

Soon the bar was officially empty, you watched as Joel locked the front doors as you began to clean. Collecting all the empty glasses from around the bar you tossed them in a bin as Joel wiped down the tables. Of course you felt his eyes on you, yet you did your best to ignore it, until you found yourself stuck in a corner unable to get past him.

“Excuse me” you whispered awkwardly.

Joel turned to the side putting his hands up allowing you a small space to scoot in front of him. Just as you proceeded to move past him he blocked you with arm, keeping you in front of him.

“You avoidin’ me, honey?” His question leaving you tongue tied.

“No, um, I just- no, it’s just” a smirk appearing on his lips.

“Don’t tell me I scared you away, princess”

Princess.

Your heart fluttering in your chest.

“No, it’s just after last night…I, I didn’t expect that” as you spoke you watched his eyes become heavily distracted by your lips.

Joel couldn’t fight himself, as much as he felt he shouldn’t have been even feeling this way he let his temptation win. All he meant to do was kiss you and that he did. This time his kisses were more intense before you gently pushed him away.

“Look” you moved quickly around the bar.

“I don’t want this to get complicated.”

“It ain’t” he assured you as he slowly followed you around. Your eyes meeting his lips as he pulled you to him once again and continued kissing you. Moaning into his lips next thing he knew he picked you up sitting you on the bar. Joel placed himself between your legs as you pulled him in closer when your phone began to vibrate. Taking your phone out of your pocket to put it aside, he looked down and noticed Jake’s name lighting up on the screen.

“Pick it up” Joel whispered hoarsely.

“I don’t-“

“Just do it.”

With a sigh you gave in and hesitantly flipped open the phone.

“Hello?”

“Where have you been? I know Julie told you I wanted to talk to you-“ Joel grabbed the phone from you unexpectedly and took over.

“She’s busy right now. If I see you or you send one of your little friends again I promise you I will hurt you with my bare hands.” Jake stood silent in shock as Joel flipped the phone shut and put it aside. You sat with your lips parted not expecting for him to have done that. You were surprised Jake didn’t try calling back.

“You threatened him” you raised your brows as he looked at you with no regret.

“Mhm.” His nostrils flared.

Never had you seen Joel hurt a fly, seeing this protective, threatening side of him was something new to you.

“What if he comes here, you’d actually hurt him?” Joel chuckled sarcastically.

“Like I said, princess, I ain’t the man you think I am.” He leaned in whispering close to your lips.

“So…you’re a bad man?”

“Only if you want me to be” his lips touched yours once more before he suddenly yet slowly got down on his knees.

“What are you doing?” His face between your legs, you felt his fingers gently pushed aside your underwear revealing your pussy lips to him. His warm breath against you, you gasped feeling him kiss your inner thigh. Slow kisses leading all the way to your core. He felt your legs slightly tense up around him, he could tell you wanted to feel more. His fingers gently parting your lips allowing him to lean in and taste you. A rush of pleasure traveling up your belly, his eyes meeting yours as he slowly flicked his tongue against your clit.

“Oh-“ you threw your head back as he moved his tongue faster. His arms now beneath your legs pulling you closer to the edge. Your moans alone making him rock hard he needed to loosen up his pants. Your hand brushing through his hair as the other held you up when Joel moaned. The vibration of his deep moan against clit making your body arch against him. Your legs harder to control, Joel knew you were about to cum.

“Please don’t stop-“ you whimpered as he moved his tongue vigorously. His eyes watching as you rolled your eyes back, your lips parted but no sound came out. Your thighs trembling on his shoulders when you finally released a scream of pleasure…

Joel knew he needed you in that very moment. Barely having recovered from the intense orgasm he gave you, still dazed and out of breath, you watched Joel quickly stand up and pull his cock out.

“Joel” you whispered before feeling him rub his cock against you. His breathing growing heavier as he felt your cum all over him.

“Now you’re ready for me” before you could even comprehend what he said, he quickly slid himself in you. Making a sound of desperate relief to finally feel himself wrapped in your warmth, Joel pulled you close moving his lips agonists yours. You moaned as he plunged deeply into you making you take every inch. Each stroke bringing you both closer to climax as you clung onto him. You had fantasized about this for so long yet your fantasies didn’t come close to how erotic this was. Joel breaking into a sweat unbuttoned his shit and threw it aside, his hands pulling you closer against him until next thing you knew he was carrying you in the air. Keeping himself in you he leaned you against the wall and began to thrust his hips faster.

“Fuck-“ he whispered breathlessly against your ear. Your body getting pushed up against the wall as he grunted with each thrust until you felt him tense up.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna-“ he quickly pulled out as you let yourself down and got on your knees. Taking Joel by surprise you opened your mouth and without questioning a thing he grabbed a hand full of your hair. Guiding your mouth to his cock he fully came in your mouth.

“Oh baby..” he cried out, his brows furrowing watching as you swallowed every drop of him. His grip on your hair loosened as you looked up and noticed how weak he became. Joel out of breath took a step back barely able to keep himself balanced.

“Holy shit” he whispered as you wiped your lips and stood up.

“I guess you’re not the only one who could be bad, huh” you teased making him smirk.

“I wasn’t expecting that” he panted with a chuckle.

That night Joel drove you home as you sat in the passenger seat in silence. Unsure of what to say, Joel himself not exactly sure how to go about this. Just as you were about to speak Joel spoke at the same time cutting you off.

“Go ahead, baby. Say what you wanna say” he pulled up in front of your house. You took a deep breath and shook your head.

“No, you go”

“Alright” he cleared his throat, his eyes on the street before him.

“I wanna keep seeing you” he blurt out.

“Oh, you’re not bad for me anymore?” You teased making him roll his eyes as he turned to you.

“I wouldn’t hurt you, I just wouldn’t exactly be good news to anyone who’d disrespect you. Sometimes I can take things too far and-“ he adjusted himself in his seat.

“I don’t want you to have to see that.”

“I doubt I would” you assured him, you simply couldn’t picture him being the out of control man he swore he could be.

“I better go, I’ll see you tomorrow” you opened the door letting yourself out.

“I’ll call you tonight” he said rather quickly making you look up.

“I mean…if you want me to.”

You smiled as he looked at you with desperate puppy dog eyes.

“Yes, Joel. Of course I want you to”

Turning away you walked to your door as Joel watched and made sure you got in safe not knowing Jake had been watching in his car at the end of the street…

(I know I have so many second parts to catch up to! I promise I will get to each of them! I just excited when I get new request or new ideas.)

Tag list: (if your name isn’t here it’s because tumblr gives some accounts trouble that I tag and it won’t come up. Not sure why)

@harriedandharassed @locaparapedrito @untamedheart81 @rosaliedepp @illyanam1011 @hopefulatrocity @tikikiki @thewritermj @l0veang3l @moonpascal @katmoonz @joelsteinfeld @picketniffler @stcrrjoon @itsamandi @starry-eyes-love @theoraekenslover @psychoenergy @joeldjarin @bambisweethearts @baronessvonglitter @mangoslushcrush @guelyury @mynameistokyo @katiemarieeee

[firelightmlpoc]

I recently received a DM from a fellow who was a junior mod in the Shipping Container server, & they’ve been gracious enough to allow me to use their words on the current happenings, covering the events of the 0303Emily internal happenings of the server at that time.

Now, you may wonder why exactly I’m bringing up the 0303Emily debacle, much less in association with Pansear?

Well, besides the fact that the accusations leveled against 0303Emily are baseless themselves (One example of why at the bottom of this post, completely ignoring the fact that Azriel was only a month or 2 away from being 18 at the time of the accusation while 0303Emily was just 20.), they indicate a trend between both accusations that further shows minimal actual PROOF & deliberate misinterpretations of situations to then twist things into a more negative light.

Now, the statement from the junior mod:

“first off, sorry this isnt really that well worded. i dont even know where to start with all this. i wanted to offer my view on things from the internals of the SC server and some info that might explain the origins of all this. ive wanted to talk about this for a while but im not a very confrontational person and i didnt even have a tumblr or twitter

i was a helper (basically junior mod that had bare mininum perms) on SC during the entire event, and while I did not participate in the decision because it was really complex and i was busy with finals but i did lurk the convo and read a lot of it. i dont have any screenshots of this because i left a few weeks later after the entire mod team basically dissolved and the server lost all its users.

basically a while back before the grooming accusations some kids (like under 18) on the server were going around looking up artists on furaffnity, e621, and other nsfw websites and then reporting it to the mods of SC and i think mainworld too. the mods were pretty "this isnt really our business" about it and told the kids to stop snooping, and that was the end of it.

a few months later still before the grooming the issue resurfaced with the same users going after nsfw artists, they were again told to mind their business but a few weeks later came back with the grooming accusations on top of it. the key thing here is that the mod issue was heavily centered around the nsfw art that emily had been making, along with several other users who were in nsfw servers that these kids had joined to snoop around. they logged thousands of messages from multiple users and sifted through them looking for anything that could be added to this report.

again i just want to emphasize that this was not at all about Emily and Azriel at this time. The entire report was about NSFW people were doing in private NSFW sites and places that the kids had to lie and sneak into because they were LOOKING for dirt on these people. It was not just emily but around a dozen users in our server that had been perfectly fine up until this point.

there was a lot of delay with getting this report finalized and the grooming accusation came later. however given the context this seemed to raise a few red flags for the staff because the accusors had been so intense about their search for info and the fact that the conversation between them was months prior, there was some question of if the accusors had coached or otherwise convicned azriel about them being groomed just to get more dirt on emily.

Well the SC mods were tired of the NSFW artists being reported and considering the number of people being reported (again, more than just emily) and the methods the accusors had taken, decided that this was basically tantamount to stalking and kicked everyone involved.

What you see on tumblr is the response to that. They went and said "SC is run by groomer zoophiles" and everyone who had a hate boner for pansear jumped on board and it went nuclear.

I dont really know if this helps but i am just tired of sitting here being unable to speak about it because i dont have a following and i really miss pansear.”

I want to further emphasize this part:

“again i just want to emphasize that this was not at all about Emily and Azriel at this time. The entire report was about NSFW people were doing in private NSFW sites and places that the kids had to lie and sneak into because they were LOOKING for dirt on these people. It was not just emily but around a dozen users in our server that had been perfectly fine up until this point.”

Minors actively invaded adult-spaces, willingly & ACTIVELY exposed themselves to adult content EXPLICITLY to ‘dig up dirt.’

So, with that in mind, why would they stop at that? Why would they stop at something so trivial as faking screenshots? Multiple members have actively made threats to people accused & they care not about spreading a falsehood (Just look at Pansear’s old Tumblr handle!).

And here’s the example I said I’d give earlier. Azriel starts the conversation with mention of the horrors of some NSFW content from the fandom & then gives an example. 0303Emily follows up with a shared experience. This is some of the ‘proof’ that was presented in the doc Azriel & Co. put forth.

This doesn’t even mention any of the other discrepancies in their own ‘proof.’ The ‘Zoophilia’ allegations are once again Anthro on Anthro characters engaging in sexual acts, just like the allegation against Pansear.

Don’t believe me? Their own google doc is right here on this chap’s post. Read through it.

And if you want to read more, read this. It further emphasizes on this matter.

[theshift]

The Date

Isaac couldn’t believe he was doing this.

He had matched with Leo just a few days ago. The younger man was not only good-looking—early twenties, toned, with a sharp goatee and brown hair that framed his pretty face—but also confident. Maybe too confident, Isaac thought as he parked his car and walked toward the brunch spot where they were meeting.

Isaac, now in his early forties, had a different kind of charm. He looked at his profile picture. He had muscles, sure, but age had softened him. His "dad bod" was something he owned with pride. His brown beard was full, neatly trimmed, and he liked the look of maturity it gave him. The dating world hadn’t been kind to him recently, and after a string of bad dates, he’d sworn off apps for a while. But when Leo’s profile came up, something had clicked, and he thought, why not?

As he entered the café, Isaac saw Leo immediately. The younger man’s confidence radiated from across the room. He was lounging in his seat, scrolling through his phone, that goatee pulling into a smirk as Isaac approached.

“Isaac, right?” Leo stood, offering his hand. Isaac nodded, shaking it firmly. He could feel the smoothness of Leo’s skin—so different from his own rugged, slightly calloused hands.

“That’s me. Nice to finally meet in person,” Isaac said, smiling warmly.

They sat and ordered. Isaac kept the conversation light at first, asking Leo about his interests. But Isaac quickly realized the conversation was mostly one-sided. Leo talked about himself, his career ambitions, his fitness routine, and how easy it was for him to get dates. He threw in a few flirty lines, clearly trying to charm Isaac, but something about Leo’s demeanor began to turn Isaac off.

When the waiter, a young man named Axel, came by to take their orders, Leo barely acknowledged him. “Just bring me the special,” Leo muttered without even looking up. Axel shot Isaac a polite smile, but Isaac felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him. Leo’s rudeness was grating.

Throughout brunch, Leo continued to brush off Axel with little regard, and Isaac’s interest waned. By the time they finished their meal, Isaac had made up his mind—he wasn’t going on a second date with Leo.

But Leo, seemingly oblivious to Isaac’s disinterest, leaned back in his chair with a cocky grin. “So, how about we head back to my place? I’m enjoying this… I think we’d have some real fun.”

Isaac hesitated. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” he began, trying to be polite.

“Oh, come on,” Leo interrupted, flashing that pretty-boy smile. “You don’t wanna end the day on a boring note, do you? I promise you’ll have a good time.”

Isaac sighed. Against his better judgment, he agreed. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to see where this led. Worst-case scenario, he could call it a day early.

Leo’s apartment wasn’t far, and they arrived quickly. It was sleek, modern, and clearly designed to impress. Leo poured them drinks, but Isaac was still thinking about Leo’s attitude at brunch.

“Look,” Isaac said, taking a seat, “I need to be honest. The way you treated that waiter back there—Axel, I think—kind of put me off.”

Leo turned, handing Isaac a drink, and then he sat down beside him. He smiled, but there was something odd about it—too smooth, too perfect. “Yeah? Well, you’re not going to worry about that for much longer.”

Isaac raised an eyebrow, confused. “What do you mean?”

Without warning, Leo reached out and grabbed Isaac’s hand, holding it firmly. Before Isaac could pull away, he felt something… strange. A tingling sensation started at his fingertips and spread through his body. Isaac’s heart raced. His vision blurred for a moment, and when it cleared, he saw Leo grinning—something cold and calculating behind his eyes.

“What the hell are you doing?” Isaac tried to yank his hand away, but his body felt heavy, unresponsive.

Leo’s grin widened. “Oh, Isaac. I don’t think you realize who you’re dealing with. You didn’t think I was just another guy, did you?” His voice was almost a purr, low and full of control.

Isaac tried to speak, but his voice caught in his throat. The tingling sensation grew stronger, and Isaac looked down at his body in horror. His skin was rippling, softening in a way that wasn’t natural. His muscles, the slight belly he’d developed over the years—it all started to shift, flattening and thinning out like his body was turning into something… hollow.

Isaac gasped as he saw his stomach pull inward, the definition of his muscles fading. His hands, once strong and rough, began to lose their structure, the fingers narrowing and becoming smooth. His chest compressed, his skin taking on a strange, fabric-like quality. He could feel himself being drained, becoming something less than human.

“You’re going to make a perfect fit,” Leo murmured, watching the transformation with satisfaction.

Isaac’s face was the last to change. He could feel his features melting away, his strong jawline and brown beard dissolving into a shapeless mass. His skin felt like it was stretching, softening, turning into something malleable, something that could be worn.

And then it was over.

Isaac was no longer Isaac. He was nothing but a hollow shell, a bodysuit—smooth, pliable, and completely under Leo’s control. His consciousness remained, though distant, trapped inside this suit of skin.

Leo stood, lifting Isaac’s now limp form. “Now, let’s see how it feels to be you. I could tell the waiter was into you, and I think we can both agree this won’t work out. Might as well have fun and get some action.”

With a practiced ease, Leo stepped into Isaac’s bodysuit. He pulled it up over his legs, feeling the warmth of Isaac’s form wrapping around him. As he zipped the suit over his torso, his body bulked up, taking on Isaac’s slightly heavier, more rugged build. His slender, toned frame disappeared beneath Isaac’s softer skin.

Leo grinned as he slid his arms into Isaac’s, flexing his newly acquired muscles. He ran his hands over his now thicker chest, admiring how the suit fit perfectly. The last step was Isaac’s face. Leo pulled it over his own, and as the transformation completed, he looked into the mirror.

Gone was Leo’s pretty boy face, replaced by Isaac’s rugged, bearded visage. Leo—now Isaac—smiled, testing out his new voice.

“Not bad,” he said, mimicking Isaac’s deeper tone. “Not bad at all.”

He stood in front of the full-length mirror in Isaac’s bedroom, taking in the transformation. Looking down, he noticed how Isaac’s broader dad bod had taken the place of his own leaner frame.

He opened his mouth again and let out a low rumble. Isaac’s voice. It came out rich and deep, entirely different from Leo’s tone. Leo grinned at his reflection, reveling in the sound, speaking again just to hear it. "This... is a perfect fit."

He practiced a few phrases Isaac had used at brunch, testing the cadence and mannerisms. He had noticed how Isaac would say certain things—low, measured, thoughtful. During brunch, Isaac had said something that stuck with him: “I like to take things slow. I think life’s about the little moments, you know? You don’t need to rush into anything.”

Leo mimicked that now, adopting the same thoughtful, almost wise tone. “I like to take things slow,” he said in Isaac’s voice, pausing just like the real Isaac had. “Life’s about the little moments.” He smirked. Perfect. That line would be useful for fooling anyone who knew Isaac well enough to question him.

Leo took one last long look in the mirror, savoring the way Isaac’s rugged face looked back at him, completely under his control. For now, this body was his, and the sound of Isaac’s deep, commanding voice rolling from his throat was all the proof he needed.

Leo quickly stripped off Isaac's shirt, feeling the need to relax after the effort it took to put on the suit. The bulkiness of Isaac’s frame had made the transformation feel like a workout, leaving him slightly breathless. He moved to the kitchen and poured himself a drink, hoping to refresh himself.

Once he had settled in, he propped up Isaac’s phone and began snapping some pictures, eager to capture the moment in this new form.

Leo couldn't resist longer. Staring at his reflection, he put his drink down and started groping Isaac's cock through his underwear. Relishing in this moment, he instantly started stroking Isaac's cock while casually feeling Isaac's chest hair. His nipples sensitive compared to Leo's, only making him hornier. "Fuuuuuck man" Leo grunted feeling Isaac's cock pulse as he could feel himself about to bust using Isaac's rough hands to do the job. He immediately stopped, however, a devious smirk spread across his face. "I know exactly who I can save this nut for Isaac. That waiter was definitely into you." he murmured to himself recalling the quick glances Leo had caught Axel eyeing at Isaac. "I think he deserves a good pounding."

Leo, now fully settled into Isaac’s body, strolled back into the café where they’d had brunch earlier. His eyes scanned the room, and then he spotted Axel—the waiter from earlier—busily clearing a table. A sly grin tugged at Leo’s lips as he made his way over, exuding confidence.

"Hey, Axel, right?" Leo called out in Isaac’s deep voice, standing tall and casual.

Axel looked up, startled to see him again. His brows furrowed in confusion. "Uh, yeah. Weren’t you here earlier?"

Leo-as-Isaac nodded, giving a sheepish smile. "Yeah, I was. About that… I wanted to apologize for the guy I was with. He was a real jerk, and you didn’t deserve that."

Axel blinked, clearly caught off guard. "Oh, thanks. But what happened to him?”

Leo’s grin widened, reveling in the moment. “Oh, Leo? Let’s just say he’s out of the picture.” He leaned in slightly, his voice lowering with a playful edge. “Besides, I felt bad about the whole thing. You seemed like a good guy, and, well… maybe I’d like to get to know you better instead.”

Axel hesitated, clearly intrigued but confused by the shift. "But... earlier, you didn’t seem all that interested. What’s changed?"

Leo shrugged casually, playing it cool. "People can surprise you as you clearly saw with that dude Leo. Figured I’d give you the chance to surprise me too."

Axel still seemed unsure but intrigued. "Alright," he said slowly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

[earlycuntsets]

"DEATH COMES RIPPING" - SPOOKY ISSUE

'THE BLACK PARADE, THE TRIUMPHANT NEW ALBUM BY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE MAY HAVE A TRAGIC STORYLINE, BUT IT'S NOTHING COMPARED WITH WHAT THE BANDMATES ENDURED TO BRING THE DISC TO LIGHT

PHOTOS BY JON WIEDERHORN PHOTOS BY JUSTIN BORUCKI

STANDING ON A BALCONY nine floors above the teeming streets of New York, Gerard Way overlooks the city in which My Chemical Romance began assembling their ambitious new album, The Black Parade. The newly peroxide- blond frontman takes a deep drag from a cigarette and exhales with a sigh. He knows he shouldn't smoke, but it's his only remaining vice.

"If I hadn't been sober, I think The Black Parade surely would have killed me," says Gerard, who climbed on the wagon in 2004. "We were going insane the whole time, and I had to cling to my sobriety to stay even a little lucid. The album became like this beast that was consuming us."

Following up a release as successful as 2004's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, which sold 1.4 million copies in the U.S. alone, is never an easy task. And the various scares the band experienced as they worked on the new record-drummer Bob Bryar had a near-fatal staph infection, Gerard seriously injured his foot, and some restless spirits at the studio where they recorded kept them all on edge-did not help matters. And neither

did MCR's decision to make The Black Parade (Reprise) a concept disc. Together, Gerard and his bandmates-Bryar, guitarists Frank lero and Ray Toro, and bassist Mikey Way (Gerard's younger brother)-decided to craft a record about a dying young man who is visited by a cast of strange characters that help him examine his short life.

But diving into the conceptual deep end proved well worth the hassle. The Black Parade is not only MCR's most realized offering; it's also one of the most eclectic, enjoyable rock records of the year. One listen to tracks

like "House of Wolves," "The Sharpest Lives," and "Dead!" makes it clear that My Chemical Romance can still rip a good metallic punk tune. But the bandmates are now equally influenced by epic albums like Pink Floyd's The Wall, David Bowie's The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, and Queen's A Night at the Opera.

"A lot of bands from the scene we came from try to strip down their music to 'keep it real," Gerard notes. "But the real you is what you've always had inside you and what you strive to be. So when we started compiling the material we had written, we were like, You know what? This has to be a huge, theatrical record."

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE started working on ideas for The Black Parade in the back of the bus while on 2005's Warped Tour, after which they flew to New York and rented a rehearsal space for two months. And that's when things started to get weird.

"I was living in Queens, and I had to commute on the subway every day," Gerard says. "I was suddenly very scared and paranoid. I felt more like an outsider than I ever had, and I had no confidence, which is bad when you're trying to work on a record. And I had no anonymity because there were a lot of teenagers on the train." In reaction to the young fans he encountered on the underground,

Gerard wrote "Teenagers," a T. Rex-style romp with the chorus line, "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me." "The song came directly from commuting when school let out and being so terrified of them," the singer says. "I was like, Wait a minute. These are the same people that listen to our band. Why am I scared? And I realized it was because they're scared, too. Teenagers are made to feel like they can only solve their problems with violence. They lash out at each other in a really volatile way." After several months experiencing the joys of mass transit, MCR had completed only a handful of songs and felt like a change of scenery (and climate) might do them some good. "I couldn't keep working in New York," says Gerard. "We wanted isolation."

id: Gerard leads the way to what will likely be the band's second platinum record

So the group relocated to Paramour Mansion, outside of L.A. Nestled high in the hills, the deluxe estate overlooks the trendy Silver Lake area and boasts spacious rooms, a gorgeous pool, lush gardens, a state-of-the-art recording facility-and a few special guests.

"The place is definitely haunted," Gerard says. "Doors would slam, and the faucets would turn on. You'd get a bath drawn for you of freezing-cold water in your room, and you wouldn't know why." As unnerving as its mischievous spirits could be, the Paramour was also inspiring, and contributed to the haunting vibe of songs like "The End" and "This Is How I Disappear." More important, it led Gerard to come up with the bleak, surreal concept for the record. "I would have these night terrors, where it would feel like someone was choking me, and my heart would stop and I would stop breathing," he says. "I would wake up in the middle of the night and write these notes to myself, and one of them read, 'We are all just a black parade.' So I started thinking about how this band is kind of a black parade, like a funeral-procession rock thing. And I used that idea to piece together this story about the idea that when you die, death comes for you however you want." Gerard molded his concept into a narrative about a character he dubbed the Patient, whose strongest memory from childhood is of his father taking him to the city to see a parade. Two songs into the album, he dies, and the black parade comes for him.

"During the rest of the story, he meets this entity of death and all these characters, like Mama, who represents anyone who's ever lost their son in a war," Gerard explains. "It's almost like these Canterbury Tales, where he goes along on this journey, and at the end he decides whether he wants to live or die." With the concept in place, My Chem made the songs as sweeping and theatrical as Gerard's lyrics. They accomplished this, in part, by combing through their own eclectic record collections and pulling choice elements that would set them even further apart from other melodic punk bands.

The first two minutes of "Welcome to the Black Parade" stemmed from Gerard's love for Broadway musicals, the horns in "Dead!" came from Mikey's interest in Blur and Britpop, and the jaunty feel of "Mama" was informed by Tom Waits and Nick Cave. But the most poignant moment on the record, "Cancer," was (unlike its morbid moniker) something of a pleasant surprise. "I was very upset about something in my personal life, and that's when that song came out," Gerard says. "It was really spontaneous, and it was recorded pretty much live with Rob [Cavallo, the record's producer] on the piano and me in the vocal booth. Then we added layers of drums, which gave it a certain urgency. It's the song I'm most proud of because it was the most pure emotion we've ever captured, and it gets such an immediate response. You can't shake what the song is about."

As the CD approached completion, some members of the band began to show signs of nervous exhaustion. The group was scheduled to fly to England to play the Reading Festival, and as the date grew near, Toro, who has a fear of flying, got noticeably agitated. Then, after the band tracked "Welcome to the Black Parade," which was originally called "The Five of Us Are Dying," the guitarist lost it.

"I thought I had this premonition," Toro explains. "I was flipping through the TV channels, and on the news. there would be something about a plane crash, and every time I woke up in the morning, the clock would say 9:11. I was playing Tomb Raider the night before the flight, and on the level I ended up at, there was this whole flashback to a plane crash. So right before the flight I was like, 'That's it. I'm not flying."

Despite his misgivings, Toro boarded the plane, and when My Chemical Romance returned to L.A. (all of them still very much alive, thank you very much), The Black Parade was completed without further incident. Listening back to the record, the band members were in awe of what they had achieved and eager to share it with their fans. "There was a real confidence that came to us," Gerard explains. "Having survived it, we felt like we were changed forever. I feel different as a performer now, and I think we really finally discovered who we were as a band." But just because MCR were done with the record didn't mean that it was done with them. About a month later, the band was shooting a video for "Famous Last Words" with director Samuel Bayer (Garbage, Smashing Pumpkins) on a set featuring walls of flame, when-seized by the moment-lero grabbed Gerard's throat from behind and wrestled him to the ground. The singer rolled one way; his foot went the other. "It bent completely backwards, and I heard a crack and felt this agonizing pain," Gerard recalls. "I tore all the ligaments in my foot, but I got up and continued to perform." "I didn't know what I was doing," says lero, shaking his head. "I wasn't trying to hurt him. I felt awful. I still do." Gerard's injury was serious, and he still walks with a cane, but it paled in comparison to what happened to Bryar. At the end of the shoot, the pyro was so intense, the drummer could feel his leg burning, but he stuck it out for the rest of the song. By then, he had a nasty third-degree burn. And the misfortune didn't stop there. Bryar didn't take his antibiotics regularly, and he failed to keep the wound clean. By the time the band got back from a brief tour of Japan, the burn was severely infected. Then Bryar's face swelled up and, after doing the MTV Video Music Awards preshow telecast and a special club show, stumbled into a hospital emergency room in intense pain. "I thought I'd be there for 10 minutes, but as soon as they saw me, they got all serious and gave me an IV and said they had to do a CAT scan," recalls Bryar."They did all these blood tests and kept me there for 14 hours." Doctors discovered that Bryar's leg infection had spread to his blood and caused an abscess in his face that was creeping dangerously close to his brain. If it had been left untreated for another two days, he could have died. "The whole thing was such a nightmare," Bryar says. "This doctor stuck my cheek with a needle about six inches long and the width of an IV tube. Then he went in and out of the inside of my mouth with the needle about 10 times. Fortunately, the treatment worked, and Bryar left the hospital three days later. With tragedy averted, My Chem are now focusing on touring for The Black Parade. They'll be in Europe for most of November, and when they get back at the end of year, they'll start rehearsing for a U.S. arena tour that starts in February. "We want to put on a full show with props and staging like The Wall," Gerard says. And MCR plan to keep the Patient alive long after they're done touring for the CD. "I would love to see the story turned into a play or a musical, and it could easily be a movie," enthuses Gerard. "Making this record, we cut ourselves open every day, pulled out every organ, and lay them on a table so it would be something we're completely happy with. We want The Black Parade to exist for a long time." "The whole hole thing nightmare. This doctor stuck my cheek with a needle about six inches long and the width of an IV tube." -BOB BRYAR

"I felt more like an outsider than I ever had, and I had no confidence, which is bad when you're trying work on a record."

-GERARD WAY

12/2006 revolver - mcrhollywood on flickr

[sarahreesbrennan]

Another Interesting Spoilery Evil Question

To directly answer the question before I start rambling, the Cobra’s body’s physical age is 24.

(You can stop reading here if you like. This gets very long!)

When Marius meets the Cobra (chapter 18 epigraph from Time of Iron) he correctly identifies him as Marius’s own age at the time - 18.

At the time of the book all the physical bodies’ ages are as follows.

Marius - 24

The Cobra - 24

Rahela - 24

Octavian - 24

(Pio and Nemeth, Octavian’s advisers, are in their early 40s and late 50s respectively - they’re Octavian’s dad’s people and that is part of why they are so stressed. Their king died young, Octavian became king in his teens and it has been an uneasy court ever since.)

Emer - 23

Key - 20

Lia - 19

Rae and Eric in our world were both 4 years younger than their bodies in this world (so they would both be 20 if the story hadn’t happened to them). For the moment we’ll leave aside Key, who had another life too, in a different way. (He was a little kid, but old enough to walk after his father, in the epigraph from Time of Iron in chapter 15.)

I do age shenanigans for two reasons.

—One is that age in fiction and reality is weird, and I wanted to portray that. If I had a crush on Mr Darcy when I was 7, is that okay? If I had a crush on Mr Darcy when aged 41, is that okay? Mr Darcy’s always in his late twenties: Elizabeth Bennet will never be older than 21, but she seemed so glamorous and all-knowing to me when I was a kid.

And if you walk into a story, when in their character development do you find them? Would we like Darcy when he’s sneering at Elizabeth at a ball? Who is it that we love and when?

Plenty of adult women fancied Edward Cullen, perpetually a teen (or was he? Fantasy and horror also open up the possibility of immortality - but in a way, all fictional characters are immortal. Holden Caulfield isn’t growing up any more than Edward Cullen is. And like fictional characters and immortals, the dead aren’t getting any older either—I think often of Anne Rice, author of the Vampire Chronicles, who wrote the doomed child vampire Claudia after losing her own daughter Michele as a child. Death, immortality, fiction and the overlap!) When I read or watched stories in which characters were in different/changed bodies they usually seemed younger - often their younger selves, or a younger/cuter body (Peggy Sue Got Married, Scarlet Heart). (Exceptions exist of course, e.g. Howl’s Moving Castle.) And I like magic losing something, costing you something, plus I’m a contrarian. So I wanted them older.

—The other is that LONG LIVE EVIL is a story about trauma, which often arrests your age in your mind. The period in which you were enduring the horrors is a blank in which you couldn’t develop normally, or in which you had plenty of experiences but few of them match with your peers’.

Cancer did it to me, which wasn’t horrendous as I was in my early 30s and that’s still adult, just meant a bit of ‘oh no I’m not this child’s mother, I’m too young - actually I’m a bit old to be this child’s mother now I think about it, but anyway I don’t claim her’ and the like. But I’ve seen it do the same for people with cancer I befriended or whom I mentor, and it’s a very different proposition if the lost years are 17-21.

It’s not just cancer, I’ve seen bereavement work that way on people, and apparently celebrity works on the mind like trauma and arrests you at the age you became famous in a lot of ways. It’s being taken out of the run of ordinary life, walking through your portal into strangeness.

But in the end most of us wind up with years that feel lost, I think, and playing catch-up is the only way forward.

And allegory remains allegory: if I’m writing a werewolf I’m taking about rage and body horror, sure, but I’m also talking about werewolves.

I was actually confused by this ask at first as I’d written a whole section where Eric says he’s going to die of a heart attack at 20 and Marius is exasperated as Eric is a little young to start lying about his age! But it must have fallen victim to my many cuts - stories transform! - and I can see why, because I don’t think Eric exactly thinks of himself as 20 anymore.

I had some struggles with the age stuff, it’s another layer of complication in a complicated story and there were worries raised that it was unnecessary and might make some characters less appealing but in the end I decided it was necessary to me and let the characters be unappealing, then.

I also enjoy the twisting, fluid ages because they cause conflict, and conflict is story.

Rae uses her new age (and thus doesn’t need to think of her absolutely horrible self worth) to count herself out as a romantic option in Key’s eyes.

She also thinks of the Emperor as in his mid-20s, as he is - after a time skip that happens in the original Time of Iron, years in which Key and Emer were Lia’s servants. She knows about those years, but she doesn’t put it together.

At Eric and Marius’s first meeting 6 years before the events of LONG LIVE EVIL, Eric also hasn’t been in the book that long. He was in a horrifically traumatic survival situation for a large part of the time he was inside, when he approached Marius to blackmail him. That is objectively a deranged thing to do, but Eric is thinking like a terrified 14 year old and also like a Huge Fan of Marius. aka the quintessential white knight, the Last Hope who is reserved and dignified and crucially, 24-28.

That would be the Marius Eric at the time knows when he approaches Marius in the flesh, Marius at 18 and coming off family trauma, friend trauma and quasi-romantic trauma himself. Marius actually DOES go into dissociative states and kill people, Eric was taking a huge risk with his own life that not a single person in the country would have taken. Marius is a Valerius, and they are killers. (The whole court, Marius included, thought Lady Katalin ((Rahela’s mother)) was being very daring by like, touching Marius’s hand when he was 17.)

Eric is acting wild partly because a) he is wild, b) he’s desperate but also crucially c) he’s thinking of Marius as someone that Marius isn’t yet and d) he’s not thinking of things from Marius’s POV, and doesn’t until the events of LONG LIVE EVIL. Their quasi friendship/quasi hostage situation (that the hostage had firmly decided was happening) couldn’t have happened without a perfect storm of weirdness, risks and lack of understanding what the hell was going on.

Marius would not have seen a 14 year old Eric (not a child to him exactly, but squire age rather than knight age) as a criminal threat in the same way as he saw the Cobra, his own age (18, which was definitely very adult, Marius thought at the time). Eric wouldn’t have failed to consider consequences or failed to consider Marius as person rather than character, if he’d actually been 18. But by the time anyone knew better, a status quo was established, and habit is second nature and a stronger nature than the first.

Eric’s plight is horrific initially. But at the same time, Eric is extremely intelligent (both intellectually and emotionally) and able to both cover and play catch-up to this new life, and he can advise Rae with the benefit of his experience - but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t screw up massively when he first came into the book, or that he doesn’t still have many things to work through.

Similarly, Emer is used to Rahela who is quasi older sister and quasi mistress, while Rae is now acting younger. And all of them are dealing with a gross system in which men are seen as in their youthful prime when women the same age are getting long in the tooth and can be traded in for teenagers - so even two people who are the same age aren’t treated as if they’re the same age, if they’re different genders. Age stuff is crunchy!

Also, while Emer thinks of Lia as having all the power due to class, Lia looks on someone who was her glamorous older stepsister’s age mate and went off to the big city years ago rather differently. But then, are adulthood and childhood different worlds? Is being in different social classes being in different worlds?

Can we reach the different universes of other people is something I’m always asking, I think.

THIS IS SO LONG. I AM SO SORRY.

[pedrosbish]

Logan f*cking Howlett

pairing: (old!man) Logan x reader

outline: you somehow get roped into looking after Charles and end up falling in love with the grumpy man who you barely see around

warnings: very brief descriptions of smut, swearing, angst

He found you standing by the beat up gas station, a pathetic cardboard sign advertising for any job people were willing to offer.

You looked young, a pretty thing still full of life but your eyes didn't have that glint in them anymore, something that Logan recognised all too well after spending so long staring at what he had become over the years.

He was getting old - could feel it in the way his bones cracked when getting up, the wrinkles on his face spreading out and crinkling whenever he showed any other facial expression, and how his healing isn't how it used to be.

"I'm not a prostitute." Your voice snaps him out of it and he realises that he must've been staring at you for quite a bit now. "So you can fuck off to your buddies over there if that's what your after."

He glances over his shoulder at the group of men, crowding around a pickup truck, eyes ogling you and whistles reaching across the parking lot.

"I'm not-" He sighs, eyes closing for a split second before he turns back to you. "Are you good with old people?"

He had taken you to the middle of nowhere, surrounded by dirt and train tracks and for a split second you had a moment of panic surge through you. What if he was a serial killer? He had the blood on him already for that role, red spots dotted all over his fancy white shirt and on his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel.

But then he had stopped in front of an old decrepit building and a calming presence had suddenly clouded around you. Logan had led you around the back to a decommissioned water tank, littered with thousands of tiny holes.

Eyeing him wearily as he opened the hatch, he stood to the side as you walked past him, eyes falling to an old man sitting in a wheel chair before a chess table.

"Good evening." The old man's voice echoed around the large space. "Do you like chess?"

Wake him up at 8 every morning with breakfast and two tablets. Bathroom, wash him up, chess. Lunch then nap, followed by dinner with two more tablets and sleep.

It was an easy job, although a little too boring for your liking sometimes. Logan had stressed on the tablets everyday before leaving to go and work for the night, making you weary of what you were actually giving the old man.

You cleaned every day, the dirt and dust from outside always finding its way inside. The TV worked but only occasionally when you hit the specific spot on the back. You read a lot, either by yourself or to Charles.

"Such a soothing voice." He had murmured after you had tucked him in, eyes drooping closed. You had been looking after him for 4 months by that point and had placed a gentle kiss to his forehead for the first time, missing the small smile on his face as you left the tank.

Logan was still an enigma to you, his time mostly spent either working or sleeping. He usually came back once you had gone to bed, too anxious to actually fall asleep until his return. You usually peeked your head around the open door to see if he needed patching up, blood covering his bruised knuckles and red staining his shirt.

This was a common occurrence, one that made you feel nervous. Who had he been fighting that night? Why did your heart always flutter when you had to stand between his legs to stitch up a wound that would heal up entirely after a couple of days?

The first time you kissed him, he had pushed you away, hands a little rougher than either of you were expecting. Silent cusses had poured from his mouth as he stood up from the chair, stumbling off to his room where the door slammed loudly behind him.

That ache in your chest when you looked at him that night was growing ever so slowly into a large cavity that only he could fill.

By the time you woke up the next morning, he had already left for the day - to pick up Charles' medication, supplies, to work and to do whatever else gave him those wounds. Ignoring that ache in your heart, you had tried to go about your day, Charles' gaze holding a certain sorrow that made the lump in your throat harder to swallow around.

He hadn't come back for dinner, your own food having grown cold as you waited for him. After covering it up and putting it in a place where he would be able to see it, you had gone to bed, drifting away uneasily.

The sound of your door opening woke you, and you watched as the light from the next room poured in, casting the shadow of Logan onto your wall. Turning around slowly, you looked at him standing in your doorway, an almost nervous look on his face.

"I, uh," he winces, hand clutching at the red patch slowly staining his shirt. "Need your help again."

You were quiet, which made in all honesty Logan nervous as he looked up at you, your gaze locked onto stitching his stab wound back up. Usually he could never get you to shut up.

Throwing away the cloth which you had used to wipe away the rest of the blood, you turned your back without a word, ready to go back to your bed. Without thinking, Logan had grabbed onto your wrist, standing up and looming over you.

It was difficult to look at nothing but him. Even though he was old, Logan was still possibly the most handsome man you had ever seen. Watching silently, you waited for him to say something, to say anything.

"Fuck it." He murmurs under his breath, the hand on your wrist tugging you forward so that he can crash his lips to yours.

It's not a loving touch. His hands are rough and hard against your skin, desperation coursing through him as he takes you right there on the kitchen table, shorts tugged down to your ankles and shirt hanging low enough for him to stare at your chest.

He collapses against you, a low groan reverberating through his chest. In this moment of intimacy, you allow your fingers to gently scrape against his scalp and you smile at how he melts against you.

He silently lifts you, placing you gently down onto his bed where he climbs in after you, hand dangling around your waist as he places a quick kiss to the back of your shoulder.

Your heart soars, a giddy smile spreading across your lips, so much that your cheeks ache. He's warm, snuggling back into him in the cold air of the old building, your hand tangling with his own as your eyes droop.

Wake him up at 8 every morning with breakfast and two tablets. Bathroom, wash him up, chess. Lunch then nap, followed by dinner with two more tablets and sleep. Make dinner, patch up and fuck Logan.

It always hurt after. He treated you as if you didn't exist or that you were simply not there the following morning. He usually left for work before you were awake but on the rare occasion where he didn't need to leave in the morning, his replies mainly consisted of grunts.

For now, Logan seeking you out for relief was enough. But in those rare moments of intimacy following after sex, you could almost picture a different life for you two. One where he wouldn't return from work with holes and blood covering his shirt, or the energy being sucked out from him to the point where he was almost losing himself and who he used to be.

After a particularly gruelling day with Charles, one where it had taken him a lot longer to remember who you were and where he was, you decided to talk to Logan properly. You needed more from him.

This night, he hadn't gotten into trouble and returned with no blood on him or his shirt. It was a small victory for the both of you at least.

He had snuck up behind you as you were washing the dinner plates, hand snaking its way down from your stomach to between your legs. It was easy to forget that you were meant to simply talk to him, to ask him what you were to him when his touch could be so distracting.

Laying down next to him that night, your hand on his chest which was beginning to slow, you had quietly murmured your question into the dark.

He had tensed up immediately, shifting away and sitting up, legs swinging over the side of the bed.

"Please, Logan." It's almost embarrassing at the way your voice cracks, wet tears pouring over your cheeks. "I-I love you."

"Don't fuckin' say that." His voice is sad, head hung low in his hands as he hears you move from your side of the bed, sitting beside him. "You think you do but you don't."

That ache in your heart burns with intensity at the way his voice sounds, almost as if he feels bad for you.

"I'm pretty sure I know how I feel, Logan." Your hand reaches out, gently moving his hand from his face. "What are you so scared of? Why can't you believe that I love you?"

"I'm not talkin' about this."

He shoots up, slipping his clothes and boots on and stalking towards the front door. You follow behind him, trying to match his stride as you call after him, voice cracking as you watch him grab his keys.

The sun is just rising beyond the horizon, painting the sky a beautiful hue of pink and orange. His car engine starts up just as you step outside, the dirt staining your feet as you watch him speed away.

You may not have known Logan that well or for that long but you did know some things about him. He was scared of caring for people again, having lost so many throughout the years. He thought that he was incapable of being loved, his years of ageing souring his thoughts of himself.

You knew that he cared for you, in whatever capacity and way he was capable of. And you hoped that he would come back to you and accept that he was worthy of your love.

But he was just a man.

_______________________________________

a/n: hey...so it's been awhile since I've posted any of my own work (and by awhile I mean 3 years oop) but thankfully seeing Hugh Jackman has gotten me sitting up again. I don't know if that means I'll be back but have a crumb for now...

[warping-realities]

A Night in the Devil's Den - Part III

Fred was just stepping out of the bathroom next to the main stage when he witnessed Mark's transformation firsthand.

He was still dumbfounded, trying to come up with excuses for what he saw—it must have been some kind of light trick, but Mark wasn’t the type to pull a stunt like that. That was more Jamie's style; maybe he convinced Mark to get into this. Yeah, it had to be something like that, he thought, coming up with justifications as he decided to head back to the bar to look for his friends and get an explanation for all this. Just as he was about to take his first step, someone spoke to him.

“It could have been you! But now another kind of life awaits you.” Turning around quickly, Fred found himself face to face with the club’s bouncer, who was smiling enigmatically at him.

Not wanting to get into trouble and fighting the curiosity to ask the man what the hell he meant, Fred continued on his way. Halfway to the bar, weaving through the crowd, he spotted the performer Marco, all sweaty, strutting on stage toward the VIP area where the club manager was grinning at him. Finally stopping, he flexed his muscles.

“What a freak show,” Fred thought, but he couldn’t look away. “Why and how did Mark get into this? And how the hell did that transformation happen?” he pondered, diverting his gaze when the two men began kissing passionately, but not before sneaking one last peek and seeing them both looking right at him, smirking as if they knew something he didn’t. Which was probably true. He needed to find those two jerks and get the hell out of there.

As he approached the bar, he got shoved by one of the muscular drunks dominating the place. “Where had all the women gone?” He was sure there had been a ton of them when they arrived. Picking himself up, he realized he somehow ended up behind the bar. A young Latino man in his twenties looked at him, grinning like he knew him.

“There you are, Papi! I’ve been waiting for you all night!”

“What the hell was this?” He didn’t know who this guy was, but there was something in his eyes…

“Jamie?”

“It’s Javi, you’re hurting my feelings, Papi, after you took my ass so hard, you forget my name like that…” The younger guy said, stepping closer while his smile fading.

He needed to get out of there; something was seriously wrong, and he had to leave—now! Without thinking twice, he stood up and bolted.

When he reached the entrance, he once again bumped into the mysterious Mr. Shay, who was caressing and kissing Marco—or was it actually Mark?

Seizing the chance to escape that madhouse, he slipped out the door, breathing a sigh of relief for a moment before running smack into the massive black bouncer, who stared him down as if daring him to leave.

With no way out, he turned back only to find himself facing an even scarier sight. Mr. Shay, this time alone but with those massive horns on display, and Fred was sure the guy didn’t have time to put on any kind of prosthetics. To make matters worse, he heard the man’s voice inside his head.

“Fred, Fred, Freddie, always the weakest, always humiliated, needing to learn to fight with words because no one ever taught you how to use your fists. But does it have to be this way? Let me show you another option, Freddie; if you refuse to accept it, you can walk out that door, and no one will stop you, not even Hank out there, though I think he’ll be disappointed; he seems to have taken a liking to you.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“That offends me, Freddie; I always give my clients a choice. You should know that from all the stories going around about me, most of them lies, but this one’s true. Plus, you don’t have choice.” The demon said as Fred fell into a dark abyss.

The first image he saw was of a blond kid like him talking to a strong, muscular older man.

“… Frank, you have to be strong; our land is surrounded by enemies, the Soviet Union has fallen, and independence will come, but we will always be surrounded by foes.”

… you have to be strong… be strong…

He was strong; by seventeen, he was a prodigy in various forms of combat, including Brazilian jiu-jitsu, boxing, and Krav Maga. He honored his father's request, becoming a man of few words but decisive actions.

… decisive actions… actions….

“Action will unfold at the border, and anyone who dares think it shouldn’t be taken seriously will have to deal with me.”

Lieutenant František Andel of the Czech Republic Army was known for his ruthlessness, always ready for war.

… ready for war… war…

The Russian invasion of Ukraine put all the states previously belonging to the Soviet Union on high alert, and the Czech Republic was one of the first to provide all possible humanitarian and military aid to the country. Frank was sent to ensure the delivery of projectile shipments, although under strict orders not to get involved in the conflict. What he didn’t expect was to meet Bohdan, a young man 15 years his junior, forced by circumstances to serve his country. Bohdan wasn’t like him; he was a sensitive, affectionate kid with a fantastic ass. Against everything he should have done, Frank let himself get involved, only to see the kid taken from him, which made all of Frank’s rage surface, causing him to lose his head and attack the Russians mercilessly in the midst of his despair.

… despair… despair… no mercy…

Frank looked mercilessly at the desperate face of his opponent, more than a year after Bohdan’s death, and he felt nothing—no pleasure, no anger, just a huge void that even the violent underground fights or the booze he downed every night couldn’t fill.

… booze… fill….

“What do you want?” he asked with a serious face while waiting for the owner of the dive fill hiss glass, maybe the seventh or eighth of the night, although deep down he knew that not all the booze in the world would be able to satisfy him.

“I have a job offer for you, a new beginning, new possibilities, maybe new… lover.” The man said with a smile.

The flood of information was so overwhelming that Fred could barely move. Still, with all the effort in the world, he turned and bolted for the door. Only to hear the demon’s voice whisper in his ear. “Unfortunately for you, Fred, my deal was made with Jamie; you were never my client.” Then with a single step, that torrent of information flooded his mind once more, with many more scenes and memories, as his body expanded, muscles piling on, covered by the black security uniform, and his young face aged a decade and a half until it became a tribute to rugged masculinity, and František found himself in front of his boss back inside the club.

“Called for me, boss?”

“Yes, Frank, Poncho came to talk to me about your relationship with his nephew. As antiquated as it may be, he wants to know what your intentions are with the kid. And since the man has been with me for centuries, I can’t ignore his concerns.”

“He doesn’t need to worry, boss; I have the best intentions for his nephew.”

“As the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

“With all due respect, sir, I don’t believe in hell. Hell is in our heads, and I’ve already lived mine, and I won’t miss the chance to find happiness before another hell comes.”

“How can you say you don’t believe in hell while working here, working for me?”

“Honestly, sir, if this is hell and you really are the devil, which I don’t think you are, I wouldn’t mind spending eternity here!”

“You flatter me, Frank! Now go find Poncho and calm his heart before you replace Hank; he’s itching for some fun.”

Frank walked through the club with all the confidence of someone who knew a single word from him could end any trouble, although deep down he longed for the chance for a good fight.

When he arrived at the bar, he didn’t find Poncho, but standing at the door leading to a secret room was Javier, looking at him with a seductive gaze.

“Did I do something wrong, Papi, for you to ignore me like this?”

“I’m not ignoring you, kid; I just had to sort out an urgent issue, and besides, your uncle was around. He was complaining to the boss, so I need to find him to talk about my intentions with you.”

“And what intentions are those, Papi?”

“The most serious ones possible, Javi.”

“How boring, Papi, because right now all I wanna do is have some fun.” The younger guy said, turning and swaying his hips seductively into the room, and Frank couldn’t resist following him inside with a smile on his face.

The two were wrapped up after some wild sex in the mirrored room overlooking the dance floor and stage of the club that the boss liked to use sometimes to feel like everyone was watching him while he pulled off the most unimaginable acts of depravity, although those on the other side couldn’t actually see anything through the glass.

“We need to go; our break is almost over, and I still haven’t talked to your uncle.” Frank said, getting up and pulling the smaller man close.

“Just one more kiss, Papi!” Javier said, attacking the bigger man with a passionate kiss until they were interrupted.

“I thought you were going to talk to Poncho, Frank. Instead, you came to deflower his nephew.” The boss commented, smiling, accompanied by the Italian porn star who was one of his regular partners.

“Sorry, boss, I didn’t find Poncho, so…”

“… so you decided to use my room to satisfy your carnal needs.”

“Sorry, sir, it won’t happen again.”

“Certainly not, because next time I’ll be joining you.” The man said, grinning. “Now go; Hank is gonna lose the little hair he has left if you don’t replace him soon. But Javi stays; Marco and I are gonna play a little. I hope there’s no problem with that.”

“No, sir, Javi can play with whoever he wants, as long as he knows the serious stuff is only with me. But I gotta say, after the speech you made about me needing to talk to Poncho…”

“Ahhh, hypocrisy is one of the perks of being the devil, my dear.” The boss replied with a mischievous smile.

….

“I see you didn’t waste any time.” Frank commented as he saw Hank approaching, wearing shorts and loafers instead of the uniform pants and boots.

“I gotta be quick before all the good ones are taken. You already put your paws on Poncho’s nephew, and I’m not crazy enough to try anything with the boss’s Italian. Though maybe I shouldn’t worry too much.”

“Why not?”

“Take a look at who’s coming over there.” Hank said, nodding toward a group of three young guys who were smiling as they walked toward them at the front of the line.

“Jerome’s group?” Frank asked.

“Jerome’s group.” Hank replied, grinning. “Hope you manage to catch at least some of the fun.”

“Oh, I’ll find a way. I’ll see you inside.” He replied before strutting confidently toward the boys.

“Hey, fellas, what do you want here?” he asked, feeling a sense of déjà vu.

“Good night, sir! Jerome told us to go straight to the bouncer at the main door and said that he hopes… that he hopes you… you have a… a hell of a night.” One of the braver kids said, or maybe just the most daring.

“Jerome, huh? IDs?”

“Here you go, sir.” One of them said, handing over the IDs he knew were fake, though he still made a point to scrutinize them with a serious look, just to intimidate the boys a little.

“Any problem, sir?”

“Nope, on the contrary, looks like you guys got VIP passes. Jerome must’ve liked you a lot.” He said while fiddling with a walkie-talkie before speaking again. “Jerome’s group is on the way.” He radioed before handing the IDs back to the kids and cracking a smile.

“Boys, looks like we’re all in for a hell of a night!”

[bbina]

"wonbin hyung what are you doing here?" you hear a voice speak up from behind. wonbin gives you a look basically telling you to keep quiet til he handles the situation (that you may or may not have dragged him in)

"getting inspiration for a song" wonbin answers cooly, motioning to the pile of papers with endless amount of scribble in front of him. "what about you guys, what are you doing here?" wonbin raises an eyebrow towards anton, eunseok, sungchan and sohee

the four boys share a look before shrugging

"well this is a cafe and i wanted some drinks" anton chirps, "and the guys were with me so why not go here"

"there's literally 127 different cafes around the area" wonbin points out like it was obvious. seriously? out of all the cafes they could've went to, they had to go to the same cafe where you two were at?

"and who is this?" eunseok asks obnoxiously making you freeze. you still haven't looked up from your notes. you were redoing some of your notes while wonbin was doing his own thing. just keeping each other company after you may or may not have lied to seunghan that you had some plans to do since you didn't want to go on a blind date

slowly, you raise your head from your ipad to look at wonbin's friends

"hi" you greet, waving shyly

the boys look among themselves before they burst out giggling

"oh hey y/n! didn't know it was you!" sungchan smiles, waving back

"so what's with this set up?" anton makes jazz hands with a slight sly smile on his face, seemingly teasing wonbin who looks like he was thinking of 119 different excuses by the minute

"are you two on a date?" sohee asks abruptly, causing you to choke on your spit, sending you to a coughing fit

anton instantly smacks sohee at the back of his head while you desperately grabbed your drink to calm yourself down

"what? no!" wonbin blurts out defensively, "i just bumped into her here so i decided to ask her about some stuff for writing inspo" wonbin explains, reason totally pulled out of his ass

you give him a look but nevertheless you run with it

"he was just asking me about how my relationship ended and how i felt throughout the process.." you explain slowly, hiding your face away from his friends cause you'd rather be in a hole right now after being mistaken for being on a date with wonbin

sungchan facepalms while eunseok attempts to handle the now awkward situation that you all found yourselves in

"now look what you did sohee!" eunseok scolds sohee who immediately bows his head, muttering a string of apologies for assuming that you and his friend are on a date. "you got her to tell us something private because you couldn't stop your mouth!"

you turn around in your seat to face the four boys, waving your hands in a frenzy. you didn't expect them to start fighting in front of you like this. it was just a misunderstanding, no need to scold the poor boy for it

"oh it's okay! don't scold him, he didn't know– you guys didn't know so it's fine" you say, chuckling awkwardly in attempt to lift the mood while looking at eunseok and sohee specifically

"oh my fucking god.." wonbin mutters, rolling his eyes at the sight in front of him. his friends did not just ruin the quiet moment between you and him like this

"WHAT'S THE SITUATIOOOON" seunghan suddenly barges inside the once quiet cafe, jogging over to the forming crowd (which consisted of eunseok, sungchan, sohee and anton)

"great. now seunghan's here" you muttered, covering your eyes, fearing what would come out of his loud blabbering mouth this time

"is y/n crying?! what did you guys do!?" seunghan starts pointing fingers everywhere making anton laugh

"shut it seunghan! i'm not! maybe i could cry right now because you are so noisy in here!" you snap, personality turning a whole 180 now that seunghan has joined the table

the rest of the guys are stunned with the sudden switch of attitude. just a second ago you sounded so gentle but now that seunghan's here, the gentleness seemed to have turned into a monster (not that they mean that)

seunghan laughs, putting his hands on his hips

"so where was the guy you were tutoring" seunghan asks, he's got a feeling that you didn't actually tutor anyone and was just using it as an excuse to get away from his little blind date that he set up specifically for you

"left" you answer curtly, not wanting to give him the time of day

"and somehow wonbin found you here?" seunghan continues to press on, looking for any reaction

"i literally see you all the time in all places but you don't see me asking you why you're there?" you snap back, raising a brow, "can't a girl just find a cute cozy cafe to stay in after a tutor lesson, damn we have it rough these days.."

anton and eunseok both burst out laughing at your sassy remark

"she's right you know" anton nods his head

"cut her some slack, seunghan" eunseok grabs seunghan by his neck and ruffles his hair

you know where this conversation was going. seunghan knows you like the back of his hand. you know that he knows that you just made up some bullshit excuse to not attend to the plans he's made especially for you. you're silently wishing that he'd drop it cause you don't really want the rest of his friends to know your business like that

but you spoke too soon

"man! it's cause i just had set up a blind date with her and riku but she had other plans" seunghan pouts, revealing who he set you up with

your eyes widened when you realized what he just said. he did not just say that in front of everyone– in front of his friends, in front of wonbin at that

seunghan probably means well and you know that but sometimes you wish that he doesn't jump into conclusions every now and then when it comes to your well being. you appreciate it yes but sometimes it can be overbearing especially when it comes to relationships

and last time you checked, you've made it loud and clear you didn't want to partake in the dating pool for a while

"a blind date?!" sohee reacts loudly, looking around if he heard what seunghan said correctly causing your face to heat up in embarrassment

wonbin immediately noticed and picked up on your discomfort at seunghan's mention of being set up on a blind date so he shoots seunghan a warning look but he thinks seunghan didn't notice it. wonbin eyes the way you were fidgeting in your place, trying to look for a way to divert the conversation else where

you never wanted to fucking smack seunghan right here right now. he really did just embarrass you in front of his friends. suddenly you feel someone kick you under the table, it was wonbin trying to catch your attention

you snap your head towards his direction, raising a brow, mood now sour at the sudden revelation of seunghan's plan of setting you up on a blind date

you can see wonbin mouthing the words "you okay?". you fight the urge to shake your head no so you just gave him a tight smile before turning back around to glare at seunghan and cuss him out

but before you could even open your mouth, wonbin beats you to it

"okay guys we're drawing attention, we're still inside the cafe" wonbin tells the group. the boys exchange glances before looking around to see some customers giving your table the stank eye

you let out a huff, starting to pack your things away. you were starting to feel a little upset that seunghan would air you out like that

"i'm guessing we're done with the interview?" you ask wonbin, slowly getting irritated at the whole situation. you feel like the longer you stay, the angrier you'll get since seunghan was around

eunseok and sungchan exchange a glance before nudging seunghan that he's done it now

wonbin wants to say no and try to calm the situation but seunghan butts in

"oh shit, was that too much? i'm sorry y/n" seunghan apologizes, sensing that you were starting to get upset at him because of what he just did

"no it's fine" you say through gritted teeth. "i'll go to that goddamn blind date so you can finally shut up about it and leave me alone. text me the details later" you huffed, grabbing your bag and looking at seunghan straight in the eye with a stoic face

if it meant that seunghan could shut up about this blind date then might as well attend it so it'll be over with

before seunghan can say anything, you bid your goodbyes to wonbin and seunghan's friends

"i'll take my leave. see you guys" you wave before turning on your heel, leaving the cafe with the guys behind

seunghan can only watch you leave with a sad face

"did over do it.." seunghan asks in a small voice

eunseok and sungchan chorus a "yes!" that seunghan actually winced

"oh my fucking god never put me through that ever again" sohee complains

"seunghan why would you air her business like that" anton grimaces, now feeling a little bad for you. even if he does live for gossip you clearly seem upset by seunghan's way of making decisions for you

wonbin bites his lip, deep in thought. he doesn't understand why he can't keep still at the thought of you being upset. so he fishes his phone out of his pocket to send you a quick message if you were feeling alright

he taps his fingers on the table, waiting for you to reply. he knows that seunghan probably means well but it wasn't the time nor the place to do so

when you finally text back that you were in fact upset, he quickly sends a reply back before pocketing his phone and closing his notebook

"next time, you guys shouldn't assume shit" wonbin says, statement aiming at the four boys who came before seunghan. "and as for you seunghan, ask before you plot shit. now your friend is upset with you"

anton, sohee, sungchan and eunseok share awkward glances at each other, not really knowing what to say

seunghan hangs his head low, now playing with his hands, "i was only trying to help and make her feel better"

"maybe she doesn't want that. maybe she doesn't want a blind date. have you ever asked her if she needed anything?" wonbin raises a brow at his friend

yes seunghan was his friend but so were you

seunghan shakes his head no and that was all wonbin needed to know

"let's get out of here. people are staring" wonbin says quietly, grabbing his things before walking out of the cafe. all the boys follow as they aimlessly walk around the busy streets of seoul with the thoughts of you lingering in the back of his mind

alone together ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 . . . blind date

── taking comfort in the thought that you are together in aloneness through late night talks, heartfelt confessions, and a genuine connection. with your shared experience of recent heartbreaks, you wonder if getting together would be all worth it. in which you find solace in each other's company, that you are alone together.

⋆｡˚ prev | next ˚｡

꩜ notes .ᐟ oh noooo the girls are fighting </3

꩜ taglist .ᐟ @onlywonb @rosesfortaro @starwonb1n @wonychu @totheseok @dolloie @hyunjinsnumberonefun @binluvsu @onlyhyunjin @annswwa @wonbinsvlle @hakkkuu @ilovejungwonandhaechan @artstaeh @lecheugo @odxrilove @bunni @saranghoeforanton @nujeskz @nakam00t @kyusqult @nctsshoes2 @revehosh @s9nwoo @daegale @palchokitty @dutifullyannoyingfox @oshakyao @koryutte @b-riize @meowbini @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @winuvs @i03jae @rsatoru @enhacolor @dalliesque @sweetiejaeyun @dearestjake @cupidslovearrows @sasfransisco @kkumistars @sngj08 @taroddori @nshmurarki @ennycutie @ffixtionista @koeuh @astro-doll-the-star @amouriu

[imfoive]

Trophy Husband - Chapter 1

Hyunjin x Reader (fem.) Genre: Arranged Marriage au!, Marriage of Convenience-ish, Romance, Angst, Frenemies-to-Lovers, NSFW (eventual) mdni Warnings: tw-panic attack, mentions of cheating, cursing, crude language, somewhat proofread WC: 6.1k A/N: did anyone catch the easter egg for this series in last chapter of “The Youngest Son”👀. ALSO, had to create a surname for y/n for plot sake. Feedback, Reblogs, Likes are greatly appreciated! Happy reading! ── MASTERLIST

Synopsis: Two individuals with polar opposite lifestyles are thrown into an arranged marriage for the benefit of both their families, or so they claim. One is a frivolous playboy, living off familial wealth, while the other is an overly controlling workaholic. Navigating their marriage with a business-like approach, their relationship is marked by a whirlwind of bickering, banter, and societal pressures. Amid misunderstandings, they uncover layers of unexpected qualities, eventually discovering a sweet love neither saw coming.

CHAPTER 1 ───────────────────

It was common, very common amongst the elites to let their children mingle, to marry them into wealthier families, alliances through marriage that brought benefit for both parties. 

Yet, even after living amongst them, growing up with such a common custom. One that automatically came to those in the upper tax bracket, like a built-in lifeline, Y/N could not grasp exactly what was happening to her.

No.

She understood. But why was it happening to her?

Y/N was the only child of wealthy parents who had poured their souls into building their business, yet as their only child, she felt an immense disdain for their corporate empire and everything that came with it. From a young age, she was told it all belonged to her. Groomed to inherit it. The deals, the ties, the connections.

The headaches, the stress, the immense boredom of it all.

From a young age she was told that it was her duty, to ensure it continued to thrive, continued to grow bigger than it was. A duty to fulfill her father’s ambitious vision. To nurture an inner ambition that her parents didn’t realize, is not a quality one inherits.   

Y/N harbored no such ambitions. 

Her heart beat to the rhythm of creativity, her fingers itching to paint, to sculpt. Drawn to the array of colors that lured her with their vibrancy. Passions she had managed to hide away from her parents’ scrutinizing eyes. 

Until she couldn’t.

The discovery of a double life that led to countless fights, trashed materials the young girl filtered out the dumpster. Cold shoulders, arguments ending with tears and leaving home quite often. By the time it reached that turning point where her father realized he could no longer control her rebellious streak, he sat her down.

A discussion that ultimately resulted in what one would only describe as a compromise.

“You get what you want now, and one day you pay me back.”

The then teenager keenly agreed, her aspirations of going to art school, and starting her own gallery with her father’s aid, took the front seat. 

She chased after those colorful streaks.

Over time, busy with the whirlwind of establishing her own artistic success, her freedom, she almost managed to forget the bargain she thought she struck with her serpent-like father.

Almost managed to.

Of course it came back to bite her in the ass.

Y/N stared at her father incredulously, hoping his next words would reverse the bombshell he’d just dropped. 

   “Tell me you’re joking—no, you have to be joking.” Her voice wavered with disbelief as she looked back at his stern expression.

   “Hwang Hyunjin!? HGroup’s second son, Hwang Hyunjin? Dad, have you gone crazy?!” Incoherent stutters left her lips in disbelief. 

   “No, this must be a prank.” Her head darted around the room, eyes raking the emptiness in hopes that someone would pop out with a camera.

Someone would laugh in her face saying “haha, got you!”

But no one does, and she only stood under the intent gaze of her father.

The older man’s stern expression intensified, and he sucked in his teeth sharply before pointing at her, his finger wagging as he spoke.

   “That’s no way to talk to your father.” He admonished firmly. “You heard me right. HGroup has sent a proposal for your hand, and I’ve accepted.”

She blinked rapidly, clearly caught off guard by the news delivered so quick, one after another. A repeat of the crazy talk he had ambushed her with the moment she had arrived.

   “What is this, the nineteenth century?” She retorted incredulously.

   “Why in the world would you accept without consulting me? I’m never marrying that-that dimwit!” She huffed, watching as her father’s expression hardened, unyielding. 

   “I’m your father, I know what’s right for you. Marrying into that family is not only going to be good for you, but good for us as well. Don’t you understand? They view you in such a positive light, itching to make such an accomplished woman a part of their family. They jumped at the opportunity.”

She let out an unamused laugh, but it quickly stilled into clenched teeth, a sign of her frustration and anger simmering beneath the surface. Coming to one conclusion.

   “Dad…Then just say you’re selling me off.” 

Her father furrowed his brows deeply, pointing at her once more, but this time he was at a loss for words. He couldn’t immediately retort to her objections, maybe because he was stunned by the absurdity of them.

Or maybe deep down he knew there was some truth to what she had said. 

She could see it in his eyes.

   “There’s no way you’re doing this for me. It’s obvious why you’re doing this. Your company needs HGroup to back it up. And you’re just using me to get to them—maybe even taking it out on me because I didn’t want to inherit your business.” She asserted firmly, arms crossing over her chest, her eyes brimming with frustrated tears.

A speck of silence settled between them, before the old man’s expression softened, hoping that perhaps a cooler tone would allow his steadfast daughter to at least hear him out.

   “I need someone to take over once I retire. You think I could leave it in the hands of that good-for-nothing cousin of yours?” Her father countered, finally revealing his true intentions, his voice was tinged with exasperation.

   “—And you thought Hwang Hyunjin is a better choice? Dad! Don’t you know what kind of person he is? He’s the farthest from responsible!” She refuted, her voice only growing louder, more defensive.

Once again, her father found himself unable to respond to her pointed objections. Instead, he reached out and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. An action that made her flinch because she knew what he was trying to do.

   “Right, I know he isn’t the best choice. But with his family’s backing, and perhaps a push from you, our business can flourish for many more years.” He reasoned, his tone softening even more so, as he tried to persuade her.

As if he was on her side.

Except Y/N wasn’t five anymore, no longer the little girl who skipped around her father. She brushed his hand off her shoulder, taking a step back.

   “Then listen closely. There is no way I’m going to do this.” She declared firmly, her voice wavering slightly with emotion.

Turning on her heels, she moved towards the door, hastily wiping away the tears that had slipped down her cheeks.

   “If you want to keep that art gallery of yours standing, you’ll do exactly as I say. Remember, you owe me this.”

Her father’s words were cold, the softness in it long gone. The daughter halted in her tracks immediately. Her figure tensed with surprise and disbelief as she slowly turned back towards him, wide eyes staring in shock at the weight of what he had just uttered. 

How could he hold this against her? 

She must have been foolish indeed.

Similarly in another part of the city, the Hwang Hyunjin in question, stared at his father in the same contempt and shock.

   “Father!” His shout had resonated, rising abruptly from his chair and staring down at his father behind the desk in disbelief. 

   “Marriage? Are you kidding me?”

The father, who would have ignored him if it was up to him, handed his assistant some files as he spoke, not even sparing Hyunjin a glance.

   “No one asked your opinion. We’ve agreed to marry you into the Yeom family.” His father replied coolly, unaffected as he leaned back in his chair.

   “That makes absolutely no sense. Do I not get a say?” He demanded, looking towards his father’s assistant for support, but the older man remained silent, avoiding eye contact.

   “You’re serious? This isn’t some kind of drama. Why are you jumping to such extreme measures—” His frustration peaked, but before he could continue, his father’s hand slammed loudly against the desk with a resounding slap. 

The sudden noise stunned Hyunjin into silence, and he took a step back, his angry expression replaced by wide-eyed stunnedness.

   “You think this is just about you getting arrested? You good-for-nothing slob. You’re damaging both your and HGroup’s image, and I’ve been letting you get away with it for far too long.”

Hyunjin narrowed his brows, feeling the weight of his father’s words bearing down on him. He couldn’t find a way to argue against the truth in what the man was saying. 

   “I’ve had enough of it. This time you’ve gotten your brother involved and I’m not going to let you ruin his reputation as well.” His father continued, his tone firm and resolute.

Hyunjin’s eyes shot up in surprise and stiffened at the mention of his brother, instinctively falling silent as he processed the gravity of his father’s statement. Sure, there was a small hiccup, sure he had been taken to the police station, his brother rushing after to prevent him from being thrown behind bars, but it was not all Hyunjin’s doing.

But would his father even understand if he told him it really wasn’t his fault this time? That his brother only got involved because he just happened to be there? That he didn’t start that drunken brawl.

Hyunjin chose to stay silent, listening to his father berate him, eyes cast downward.

   “There will finally be something good attached to your name and you’re refusing? Hah!” His father’s laughter dripped with sarcasm, and he pointed at his son, glaring.

   “Listen closely. You are getting married to that Y/N Yeom, and staying out of trouble. Got it?”

Hyunjin stayed silent, his angry gaze silently screaming at his father, who refused to give in this last time.

   “If you don’t, I’m cutting off your expenses. If you want to be a homeless slob, be my guest.” ─────────────────────── The gallery director’s arms crossed tightly over her chest, her face twisted in displeasure as she observed her to-be husband from a distance. He sat with legs crossed, nonchalantly sipping iced coffee, sporting black sunglasses on his nose. His relaxed figure, leaned back against his chair as he tapped on the cafe table, glancing around, as if he’s come sightseeing.

She sighed deeply, steeling herself to approach him. Determined steps finally approaching him. Clearing her throat to get his attention, she leaned forward, closing the gap between them at the table. The dark-haired man peered over his glasses, observing Y/N as she stood tall, almost towering over his seated figure.

Hyunjin slowly took off the sunglasses, hooking them onto his shirt, his expression studying her frigid figure once more, easily guessing she wasn’t too thrilled to see him.

   “You.” Her tone was laced with bitterness.

   “Are you aware that because of you my human rights are being violated? Why in the world did you agree to marry me? We barely know each other?”

Hyunjin blinked, a little taken back by her sudden bombardment of questions before his brows relaxed if he’d come to a conclusion. She was definitely not thrilled to see him.

Y/N’s emotionless tone managed to catch his attention. Her gaze, her words, were oozing of some superiority complex, clearly looking down at him, like everyone else around him does.

He eyed his future wife up and down once more before clearing his throat and setting down his glass.

   “Why? Anyone would be ready to marry me. Don’t I have the perfect face for the future son-in-law of Yeom Co.?” He leaned in, cupping his face in his hands, parading his looks with a pretty smile.

Y/N rolled her eyes and let out a sarcastic laugh. The sound of her chair being pulled back, harsh as she settled into it and sat across him.

   “You think I want to marry you? Don’t be fooled, you’re nothing but your pretty face.” She stated, arms crossing over her chest.

Hyunjin’s smile faltered at her harsh but truthful words. He leaned back, squinting at her upset expression before finally letting out an exasperated sigh. His head dropped for a second before looking at her.

   “Look, we’re both in the same boat. It’s tiring trying to argue about it. We just have to get along, that’s all.” He answered nonchalantly, as if his father hadn’t threatened him only two days ago.

The headache Y/N was getting from conversing with him was inexplicable. Running a frustrated hand through her hair, she took a deep breath.

   “I don’t want to be in the same boat as you. From which angle do the two of us look like a good match?” There was a bitterness dripping from each word she spoke.

His lips twitched, fingers tapped on the table, suddenly sitting up and leaning closer. Offended slightly.

   “And exactly what makes you a catch? What makes you so high and mighty?” He asked, tired of the insults she kept throwing at him.

Her mouth fell agape for a brief second, stunned by his directness and the shift in tone. The stupid expression on his face was no longer apparent, instead replaced by a cold gaze she was surprised to see.

   “Hey, Hwang Hyunjin, you idiot. My father’s ready to sacrifice nine years of my hard work just for you.” Y/N exclaimed, incredulous.

He glared at her, biting the inside of his cheek.

It wasn’t like Hyunjin himself had gone to her father to ask to marry her. This woman he only encountered in social settings, getting glimpses of her face here and there. The only similarity shared between them was the school they attended together. But even then, they didn’t even exchange a glance, let alone a conversation.

  “You’re not the only one being threatened.” Hyunjin began.

Then a thought zoomed passed in his mind, a sudden question that he didn’t want to ask because he had an inkling he knew what her answer would be.

But still he asked. As if he was actually looking forward to being further insulted.

   “Would you have been happier if it was my brother sitting here instead?” He asked, studying her frustrated expression.

His gaze had narrowed into a slight frown as he asked. But she only rolled her eyes. Clearly disgusted by even that idea.

   “I dislike both of you. If I had a choice, I’d rather stay single forever. Besides, what did your father threaten to take away from you—no, what do you even have to protect?” Her blunt words stung, further aggravating the usually cheerful, usually patient man.

The dark-haired man sitting across fell silent, his expression unreadable.

   “Listen to me straight, speak to my father. Tell him you’re against this marriage—”

   “Nope.” His abrupt refusal cut her off.

   “I’m gonna marry you. I’m gonna make sure you become my wife.” 

His gaze was no longer playful, instead replaced with an anger and darkness she had never seen in them.

   “H-hyunjin…” Her voice trailed off, realizing his ego was preventing him from listening to her, though her provoking hadn’t helped either.

But something about this wasn’t right.  

He sighed, noticing her expression. Amused that Y/N could even make such a face. 

Hyujin chuckled. His fingers covering his mouth to stifle his laugh. Amusement in her shocked expression, in the big eyes she stared back at him with, unsure of exactly what was so funny in their situation. 

   “I’m joking. I’m really not a fan of all this as well.” He chuckled, observing her blink in confusion. 

   “But I really have no say either. You’re giving me too much credit for even thinking your father would hear me out.”

Neither of their opinions seemed to matter, an arrangement so ridiculous she kept having to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming such a horrible dream.

But why wasn’t her opinion valued?

Why was she suddenly being pushed to reform the screw-up Hwang son?

She looked at him silently, her mind processing his words. Her eyes trailed over his smug expression, the tug of his lips that thinned into a pitiful smile. Perhaps pitying himself. Their situation.

Hwang Hyunjin, the black sheep of his family, a fact as clear as day. 

Whenever responsibilities came knocking at the door, he would find a way to slip out another exit. 

This had been the pattern ever since Y/N had known him, known of him. 

Their acquaintance, though distant, spanned quite a long time. They had grown up together, their small social circle ensuring frequent encounters that neither of them particularly cared for to remember. And though they had never been close, his reputation made sure everyone knew of him. 

Hwang Hyunjin was the embodiment of a pampered rich kid. While his older brother dutifully managed family affairs, Hyunjin indulged in a lavish lifestyle. Wore the trendiest clothes. The shiniest accessories. He vacationed in the most exotic places, had passion for flying planes, driving sports cars. Preferring excitement over corporate boardrooms, suffocating under the intent gazes of the corporation, the suits and the pale, dull walls.

His personality was clearly written on that beautiful face of his.

Carefree. Careless.

Meanwhile, Y/N, the daughter of ambitious, business-oriented parents, had fought hard to carve her own path away from their influence. Just when she believed she had finally gained independence, fate intervened, entangling her deeply in a complicated situation involving none other than this greatest playboy Hwang Hyunjin. 

   “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

   “Mmmm… I’m gonna have to end it.” He shrugged, as if it were no big deal.

She rolled her eyes, not entirely surprised by his response. That was Hwang Hyunjin for you. Tales of his flings and situation-ships managed to reach even her ears every now and then.

But a sudden thought gnawed at her. An imaginary scenario arising in her thoughts, one that made her stare at him with a sudden intensity.

   “And what if I had a boyfriend. One I truly loved?” She questioned with a raised brow.

Everyone knew there was no such guy. That the only thing Y/N Yeom truly loved was her gallery and her career.

Still, he nodded, as if considering the possibility. “I know you’re depressingly single, but since this is a what-if situation—” He began, while her expression darkened at his jab.

   “You can continue it behind closed doors, I won’t judge. You’re in love after all.” He grinned, pretty confident that it was an ideal answer, the right one she wanted to hear.

But instead, her expression fell, and she clenched her jaw in frustration.

It was clear where his morals lay, and she really didn’t want to continue sitting here, let alone be associated with him.

Except she could only recall her father’s words. No, his threat replayed in her mind once more. 

The only thing that kept her sane amid the suffocating environment, the success she thrived in, independent from her father’s empire, was being dangled in front of her. It made her blood boil, and seeing her “to-be husband” sitting in front of her, nonchalant about the whole ordeal, left a bitter taste in her mouth.

It angered her that her father thought this man was worthy of her. This man that had zero care for anyone but himself. This man that had zero value for marriage, let alone respect for his “to-be wife” even if they were practically strangers.

Y/N slammed both her palms against the table between them, an action that startled him.

      “Listen here. There’s one thing that’s not going to happen if we go through with this ridiculous ordeal. That is infidelity.”

He narrowed his brows, confusion etched on his face.

   “Surely in a perfect marriage, but everyone has their needs—”

   “Jerk Off.” She cut him off, stunning him with her response.

   “Watch porn if you’re that desperate! But If I ever catch you having some extra-marital affair, I swear to god, I will make your life a living hell.” There’s anger on her face, words laced with a sudden disgust that finally poured out. 

It was clear to the stunned man across, the notion of cheating was a touchy topic for her, but Hyunjin only narrowed his brows.

...Cheating? 

Would it even be cheating if they didn’t really love each other? 

But Hyunjin wasn’t really hung up on that. Instead, he wondered if she demanded such a thing because she looked down on him. That she thought he was a loose man who had no control over his play-boy instincts.

      “Why? Afraid I’ll show up in an article? ‘Hwang Hyunjin of HGroup, caught cheating on his wife, daughter of Yeom Co.!’” His voice carried a mocking edge, as though he were already reading the headline from a real newspaper. 

A laugh escaped his lips, tinged with a hint of self-deprecation. His jaw tightened at the sight of disgust in her eyes.

She could only take a deep breath, shaking her head. Y/N exhaled, pondering his words.

      “There’s that too... but that is where I draw the line.” She stated, sitting back in her seat and crossing her arms again.

He let out an exasperated sigh once more, clear frustration on his face. They suddenly sat in a tense silence, furrowed gazes observing, watching each other. But neither budged. 

Neither wondered why they still sat there when it was clear as day that they would never get along.

Their thoughts differed, their values didn’t align. Like oil and water, things that could never mix together, no matter how hard you stir.

And finally after a long moment of consideration, Hyunjin gave in with a sighed “fine...”, though she’s not totally convinced.

      “Look.” She softened her tone, sitting straight in her seat, closing her eyes tightly for a brief second, unable to believe what she was about to say.

      “You don’t have to do anything. Live your life, spend money. Flash some pretty smiles every once in a while. Like the perfect trophy husband. How does that sound?”

Y/N wasn’t sure when the tables had turned, how she was the one now convincing this rake to agree to her terms of their impending marriage. One that was starting to become clear in their near future. Because deep down she knew she had no other choice.

Well she did have another choice, but this was the easiest path. One that would bring nothing but headaches, having to stare at this pretty but insufferable face. It was better than giving up on her career...right?

A part of her tried to to see where her father was coming from. He valued his hard-work, his company, his empire. She tired to understand, as a business woman. As the ambitious daughter who chased after her own dreams.

Perhaps her father was right. If she could mold Hwang Hyunjin into a husband that doesn’t get in her way, push him into a role that didn’t require too much of her attention, this all might work out. Even though the idea of even standing next to him still aggravated her.

The dark-haired man let out a deep breath, annoyingly sipping the last bits of his drink, the ice clinking loudly against the glass. While she only watched in an irritation that grew with each smug smile he shot her between his sips. Purposefully grating on her nerves.

      “Deal.” He finally voiced.

His acceptance didn’t offer Y/N any comfort though. Instead, it confirmed her worst fears, that this absurd marriage was truly going to happen after all. 

That Hwang Hyunjin, who she had avoided like some insect growing up, was going to be attached to her side, tied to her in the pretense of whatever sham of a marriage that was going to happen.

      “Will you marry me, Y/N?” He asked, his lips thinning into a grin.

He extended his hand for a shake, sealing a deal that had suddenly been made, and although she wanted to walk away from all of this, she sighed because she knew she was going to return his handshake. ─────────────────────── The wedding was as grand as one expected it to be. 

Why wouldn’t it be? 

It was celebrating the union of two of the wealthiest families in high society. 

There were whispers about the unexpected couple. Murmurs of curiosity and excitement.

The rumors that were spread, created a love story straight out of a movie. That the couple had crossed paths again at a high-profile auction. Instead of falling for the pretty paintings and glimmering trinkets, Hwang Hyunjin’s eyes were drawn to Y/N Yeom, who seemed radiant as she shared her insights about a particular piece, her passionate ramble captivated him. Enough to make him forget his playboy past and hand her his heart.

It was an ideal scenario. Curated specifically for this crowd of their elite society, eating up the narrative, the romantic drama. The gossip.

Yet, amidst all the grandeur, Y/N sat in the bridal room, staring at her good-for-nothing cousin who had just dropped yet another bombshell on her.

Anger and shock simmered beneath her calm facade as she crossed her arms over the silk of her wedding gown. She composed herself.

      “I already knew. I’m surprised you found out this late. Did you expect me to throw a tantrum and walk out of here?” Her lie was remarked coolly, though inwardly, that’s exactly what she wanted to do.

She actually had no idea what this idiot was talking about. But she couldn’t give him an opening. Allow him to attack her when she was vulnerable, allow him to get under her skin, something this parasite was really good at. Before he could utter more nonsense, she cut in, her voice steady despite the storm inside her.

      “Get the hell out, I’m not done getting ready.” She muttered.

Of course he huffed and puffed. Probably the only thing he was good at, before he exited. As soon as his figure disappeared out the sliding doors, the sound of it clicking close, Y/N’s legs instantly faltered.

Alone at last, the weight of the situation and the sudden onslaught of information hit her like a tidal wave. Her cousin’s words repeated in her mind, wide eyes stared into the shine of the tiles. Her legs gave out, and she staggered against the makeup station, clutching onto its hard surface to steady herself. Makeup products scattered around her, but her eyes seemed to disassociate from the chaos in the room, welling up in tears.

The silence was deafening, yet a ringing sound in her ears was getting louder at each passing second. Normally, Y/N wouldn’t have reacted in such a way. Maybe she would have said something snarky, make the younger cousin cry from frustration even. Something she was good at. But it seemed like everything was finally crashing down on her, as if it dawned on her all over again that this was really happening.

There was a knock at the door that she barely registered amidst her struggle with her rising panic attack. Without waiting for a response, the door slid open, revealing her future husband’s lean figure as he let himself in.

      “What are you trying to pull now?” Hyunjin’s voice cut through her turmoil, but Y/N couldn’t bring herself to reply. 

Her fists balled tightly. So hard, her nails dug into her palms, she tried to calm her trembling figure. But tears streamed down her face uncontrollably, her eyes catching his reflection in the mirror. His narrowed gaze morphed into shock immediately, concern etching his face.

Hyunjin was taken aback for a moment before swiftly spinning on his heels to peer out the large doors, checking if anyone was outside, then closing them with urgency.

      “Woah, what’s wrong with you?” His voice was laced with worry this time, as he hurriedly locked the tall doors.

Turning to face Y/N, he found her almost folding onto the ground, and rushed to her side.

The groom had come to check if his outfit clashed with his bride’s wedding gown. Despite their agreement to be civil through the wedding preparations, she still failed to show up at the dress shop to pick out their attire. Something about being too busy, of course. Though Hyunjin truly had no care for any of this either, he didn’t want to look tacky standing next to her. 

In their ideal scenario, of the Y/N who met Hyunjin at the auction, she might have complimented him on his striking appearance in his black tuxedo, and he might have looked at her with love-filled eyes. 

But that couple did not exist. Just part of a curated story.

Nothing about this was ideal.

Hyunjin did not expect to find her in such distress. Yet he almost froze as he looked down at her trembling form, almost gasping for air.

He had been called a lot of things, but he wasn’t heartless. He could not ignore her. Although he wasn’t sure what to do either. He crouched down, awkwardly extending his hands to graze her back, gently patting it as his voice dropped to a stern whisper. Soft pats that slowly fell into a rhythm.

      “Breathe.” He coached her.

Her fingers tugged at his free hand almost desperately, trying to follow his instructions. Trying to soothe that burning feeling that seemed to ignite her fully.

      “Deep breaths. Slowly.” He continued, squeezing her hand softly, brows knitting with a worry he didn’t think he’d have.

But as his eyes trailed over her crouched figure he felt a sting. 

The silence between them was heavy as she fought to regain control. Her nails dug into his skin, and he found himself breathing deeply, loudly, hoping she would mimic his steady breaths.

      “Yes, keep breathing.” He urged softly, exhaling slowly, trying to match his breaths to hers.

And after what felt like an eternity, Y/N began to breathe steadily, the burning sensation in her chest eased, leaving a dry, scratchy feeling in her throat.

She glanced sideways and saw Hyunjin still beside her, his face etched with concern as he took in her disheveled state. An expression she didn’t think he could make.

      “Did you know?” She finally croaked, tears smudging her makeup further.

      “About?” Hyunjin’s confusion was evident.

She closed her eyes briefly, composing herself. 

      “It was my father who proposed this marriage. Yours accepted because I would fit well into your family. I could keep you in check, the ideal daughter-in-law for his screw-up of a son.”

Hyunjin blinked, his expression softening despite her sharp words. He had assumed she had known all along about their families’ arrangement. One which her father had proposed with sweet talk and buttery words.

But even she was left in the dark.

Probably because Y/N was capable of actually having the courage to back out of all of this if she truly wanted.

His silence confirmed her suspicions, and she let out a bitter laugh, almost pitiful for herself, realizing the full extent of her father’s schemes.

      “He planned for this since he made that deal with me all those years ago…My father did sell me off after all.” There was a mix of hurt and bitterness in her voice that she had tried to bury, that came out pouring with her tears.

Hyunjin sighed aloud before he slowly stood, gently guiding her to sit properly in front of the makeup station, his touch lingering on her arms as she staggered into the seat.

He wasn’t sure what he could say to make her feel better. What he could do to make all this less shittier than it was. 

Hyunjin had already weighed the outcomes of marrying Y/N. And although it sucked that he didn’t have the option to choose his own partner, he truly did not see how this marriage would affect him negatively. 

It seemed only she had gotten the short end of the stick. And it tinged at his heart, making him feel guilty for a decision he did not make.

Hyunjin was not heartless.

      “We can go out there and ruin everything right now if you want. I’ll create a scene, and truly live up to my screw-up reputation.” He offered with a half-smile, brushing a tear-stained strand of hair from her face, a move that came almost naturally.

      “Or, we can get married and then figure out a way to screw all of them over.” He suggested seriously, meeting her gaze with a determination she hadn’t seen before. 

      “Your choice.”

Y/N looked at the man she had branded an asshole since they first met, the man who would soon be her husband if she agreed. The man who looked at her with a new intensity. Steadfast... worried.

At that moment, she realized. 

She had really been stuck on the same boat with Hwang Hyunjin, ever since she made that deal with her father nine years ago.

Everything felt like a blur. Y/N wasn’t sure what had happened or how she managed to compose herself as she walked down the aisle.

Was she even smiling? Did she appear to be the shy but happy bride everyone had created an image of?

The bouquet felt heavy, the dress even heavier. She felt like she was trudging. She felt herself focus on her steps. Right, left, right...

Suddenly, Y/N found herself standing before Hyunjin, his eyes locked onto hers.

The officiant had to call her name a second time, pulling her back to the question he had asked. One she hadn’t heard through the chaos in her mind. Though she hadn’t heard anything he had said at all since she stood here.

The silence in the hall and the intensity of Hyunjin’s gaze snapped her out of her thoughts. He squeezed her fingers in his grip.

Now was the moment. It was clearly written in his eyes.

She swallowed.

      “I do.”

Suddenly, they were married.

The cool touch of the wedding band felt foreign.

Surreal.

She already felt like she was dreaming. Everything felt so unreal. So when Hyunjin’s lips pressed onto her, she froze. A kiss that had truly caught her off guard.

It was something they had briefly touched on during the endless preparation meetings. Ones Y/N managed to show up to but hadn't paid any particular attention, allowing Hyunjin to take the reigns, which he reluctantly did. Of course, since he didn't have anything better to do after all.

Still, she was surprised. Amidst the whirlwind of all her emotions, she had forgotten entirely about the kiss newlyweds typically share, though she expected only a peck. Perhaps just a light graze even. A brief press of their lips for the cameras to snap. 

But Hwang Hyunjin had a reputation to uphold.

Hwang Hyunjin had to show everyone he was truly in love. With the girl he supposedly fell head over heels for at that high-end auction.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, fingers latching tightly onto her hips, pulling her close to engulf her lips with his. 

A kiss that made her gasp into his mouth. Eyes growing big with surprise at his sudden action.

She could feel his smirk against her mouth, his breath warm and teasing.

A new emotion bubbled within her. One that made her furrow her brows. Hyunjin’s daring act pushed away the anxious thoughts that still had seemed to cloud her mind. Instead, it was replaced with a sudden competitiveness.

Refusing to let him taunt her like that, Y/N responded to his kiss, fingers gripping at the smooth fabric of his blazer to pull him closer, to kiss him deeper, feeling him grow stiff. A surprising action he did not expect her to return with more intensity.

Hyunjin had perhaps met his match.

The audience erupted into applause.

The groom stared at his bride, stunned eyes taking in her content expression as she pulled away, a hint of mischief in her gaze.

      “Smile.” She muttered, her lips thinning into a smile themselves, turning to face the crowd with a wide grin.

Hyunjin inhaled sharply, mirroring her expression, playing his part. Waving to their guests who cheered the newlyweds on. Yet he couldn’t help but glance at Y/N. His bride who was full on laughing now, at the camera flashes, at their families, the wide smile on her face radiating as they started making their way down the altar as a couple.

As if minutes ago she wasn’t lost in her thoughts.

As if her hands weren’t trembling in his.

Hyunjin’s chest tightened. An unknown feeling that pricked him. A little irritated that she could so easily mask her inner turmoil with show-smiles.

A little upset that she had to make those expressions, her eyes twinkling, her smile bright.

A little of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

The new bride and groom seemed to radiate under the spotlight.

Waving, smiling, pretending.

Suddenly they were married. And that unknown feeling persisted. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ to be continued.

── ask to be tagged! (18+) - @jellyleggz, @binniesbabe, @bookswillfindyouaway, @lemonn015, @scarlet789, @onlyhyunjin, @freekyfangirl, @candyquokka, @jehhskz, @stayjinnie, @minh0scat, @qwonyoung23, @lemonn015, @kpopjackie, @rundontwalkshesaid, @sheerfreesia007, @thecutiepieme, @danihwang882, @hyunebunx, @seeeeking-skz, @hanadulsetaad, @velvetmoonlght, @alrm02, @tirena1, @suzyhhj, @d34thon2legs @dessianna1, @hityoulikebahng, @tsunderelino

[blade-liger-4ever]

Why I feel Jack Darby isn't like Orion Pax/Optimus Prime

This is probably not gonna do me any favors in the wider Transformers community, but that's fine; I don't want to be in the good graces of half those people. Besides, I've grown to really dislike Jack over the years, and now that there's a new TF film that actually shows us Optimus and Megatron's past that has everyone cheering, I can actually cite that film in my argument should I encounter any whiners.

Fair warning, this will not be in Jack's favor.

So, as we see of him in Transformers: Prime, Jack had a really poor life. His dad is missing for reasons unknown, his mother is working herself to the bone to keep the roof over their heads, and Jack himself is working a horrid job to try and lift some of the burden from her shoulders. A standard modern day life for teenage boys, right? Oh, and don't forget him going all gaga over prissy cheerleader Sierra; that's of course the icing on the cake of this cut and dry trope, because the loser boy has to have a thing for the social climber girl who he can't recognize as trouble.

However, when he crashes into the Autobot-Decepticon War, Jack is adamant against getting involved. He whines about his new lot in life, complains that he just wants "a normal life", and overall is ungrateful to the Autobots that saved his skin a short time ago. Yes, he pulled through in the five part premiere and did so at other points in the first and even second seasons - but those were all life or death situations.

Every other time, Jack caved to peer pressure and stayed inside the lines. He never stood up to the school bully, let himself get embarrassed by said bully in front of Sierra, and then broke his deal with Arcee by going to an underground race. Heck, if you ask me, the only reason he helped save the bully in that episode was because Jack didn't want to have a dead guy on his conscience. Sure he said "it's the right thing", but where was that nobility when you were ogling your crush throughout the episode, hm?

And to say that he's like Orion Pax after all of the above is an insult to Orion and Optimus' integrity. Can you truly see Optimus whining over his lot in life, being spiteful and rude to guys who were mean to him specifically and not his friends, or just losing brain cells when a pretty girl is involved and getting himself into trouble in a misguided attempt to impress her?

No.

Orion/Optimus would never do that. He'll take the hits to himself and make the best of it with a smile on his face, he'll fight for his friends rather than himself alone, and even if he's head over heels for Ariel/Elita One, he won't compromise himself or his morals just to impress her. Orion/Optimus is better than that, and would never stoop to such actions.

But you know who would do all of that?

This guy.

As TF One shows, Megatron in his youth was much like - gasp - Jack Darby. They both kept their heads low to avoid further ridicule and pain, they never wandered outside the lines for fear of the unknown/repercussions, and despite advocating for a change or better life, they didn't really lift a finger to do that. They both needed an outside force to push them onto a new path. And they both ended up having a low chance of heroism when there was pressure on them: Jack's was anytime Sierra or Vince the Bully was involved, and Megatron's was when the 'Bot responsible for ruining his life and all of Cybertron's population was at his mercy.

Speaking of, what are the odds Jack would have a similar reaction to meeting his father? Yeah sure, he spared Megatron in S1, but Megatron also taunted him by asking what Optimus' response would be if he killed him. Put Jack in a position where he gets to beat up his dad, and are we sure that Optimus would still have that sway over him?

Just ask Sentinel, he can tell you how well that turned out when Orion Pax tried talking down D-16 - oh wait, you can't, because D-16 killed him.

Honestly, there are far more similarities between Jack and Megatron than Jack and Optimus. I'm tired of Jack getting all the love and being heralded as Orion-like or Optimus-like when he never was. He's far closer to Megatron, and if I'm the only one who can see that, fine. I don't care.

These are my observations, my beliefs, and I'm sticking with them.

Now on the same token (but coming later), Smokescreen actually has more in common with Orion Pax/Optimus Prime, something the new TF flick has shown, even if I disapprove of a chunk of the writing and characterization in it. But, given I'm probably setting some people's hair on fire, I'll leave you alone for now to digest this post.

Good day, and remember:

"Autobots, transform and roll out!"

[sturniqloo]

~I love you,im sorry~

summary:when Chris comes to your house blacked out,did he fucked up everything you had for years?..♡

inspired by this song:

warnings:use of pet names,broke of emotions,yelling,arguing,crying..(my first language is NOT English sorry if there's any wrong grammar),angst..idk lol‼️

Chrisxfem!reader🎀

The feeling of hard chest against your face,making you stir awake,as you blinked few times,noticing Chris is still fast asleep,his breathing slow,and heartbeat peaceful. You don't even remember how you got into this position to sleep against his chest on top of him,in the middle of the night?...Slowly and carefully trying to get up and not wake him up you moved away,sitting on a edge of the bed,rubbing your eyes and running hand through your messy locked hair,you looked around the room-09:21am-

'fuck...'

you thought to yourself,mumbling under your breathe,the sudden realization,of the Chris's previous state from last night came running into your head,the way he looked,smelled and all over the way he was. The thought alone made you sick to your stomach,and your heartbeat quickening...Where he ended up last night? Who was the girl? And the only question that was making you sad,confused and angry at the same time..Why?

Why would he even go out and get with another girl? Were you not enough? Did he still love you?

He never actually did something bad while being drunk,especially not something like this...atleast that you knew about...But his drunken state still isn't the valid reason for his actions..That smell was something-different...making your gut wrenched,but at the same time by now,it already seemed familiar..

You stood up,stretching and walking into the bathroom..After walking out,you looked over to the bed..Chris is still sleeping..

How can he sleep after what he did? How can he be so peaceful after last night? Does he even know what he did?

You paced around the room..nervously,all of the memories you had with him racing through your mind..Is this it? Are we gonna be over now? Are we losing everything we had or no? With a few steps around the room,you opened the curtains and a window,the cold breeze filling the room quickly,it was sunny day,the birds flying around,the smell of flowers in the air.

It made you sick thinking he smelled like that last night and it was not you.

Standing there at the window looking around,and breathing the fresh air in hope to clear up your mind,was just..something you never knew you would experience...not something you thought you would have to go through-especially not with Chris.

Within few minutes you could hear moving in bed,it was Chris. He's awake.

You heard soft mumbles and groans signaling he's fully awake..

'shit..this is it..'

You thought looking at the clouds in the sky trying to ease your mind..But this was it..the moments where everything is going downhill or uphill...

"good morning.."

he mumbled,his voice groggy from sleeping,his brown locks covering his eyes as he layed spread out on the bed. Hell of a morning,it's absolutely everything but good.

"morning.."

You said back sitting on a edge of a bed,your voice tired and just..empty..the lack of emotions on your face same as in your voice..those eyes giving away something was wrong..

Chris's eyes flickering on your face,noticing the tiredness...and hurt in them? He was confused...

"Is everything alright baby? You seem-bad...what's wrong?"

He asked,sitting up in bed and reaching out,taking your hand in his,rubbing slow and relaxing circles on the back of your hand as he watched your face with a concern.

How can he even ask that? How can he act like this after everything? Does he not remember anything from all the alcohol or is he just playing clueless?

"N-no..im fine..just-i just didn't get much sleep last night..that's all."

LIE.

Your words coming out in a soft and tired voice,as you watched his face,all that love you had for him was under a suspicious now.

But you still couldn't look at him without that little small smile creeping up in the corner of your lips,its just..him..

The feeling of his hand in mine sending shivers down my spine,the comfort his touch send me is unbelievable..even jn the most scariest and the most hurtful situations his touch is all i need to feel safe,and I know everything is gonna be okay. But this time those shivers were new,it was not a comfort..it was weird feeling of my stomach twisting,it was not fear..it was hurt,and disappointment..

He studied your face for some time,trying to understand what is it with you right now,but he didn't wanna push if u didn't wanna talk about it on your own.

"O-okay..I trust you..just tell me if something is wrong,we can always make it work okay?"

Boom. His words cutting you deep

`we can always make it work.`

No,no,no,no...no..there's no way he doesn't remember..you had to ask,you had to get away with this as quick as possible..

"Who was with you last night?"

The words leaving your mouth before you could stop them,as soon as you asked that you squeezed his hand in a nervous manner.

"I was with just my guys baby i told you..do you-do you not trust me?"

As soon as those words had left his mouth,your throat tighten. Is he lying? Why is he lying?

"N-no..no..ofcourse i trust you but please Chris..tell me the truth. Who was with you last night? Dont lie to me."

The anger slowly creeped up into you,you knew he was lying,and it made you mad.You tried keeping calm and collected but each word that left your mouth was filled with more anger.

"Are you fucking crazy? I was with the guys i told you already! If you don't trust me that's not my problem!"

He snapped at me,letting go of my hand and immediately standing up from the bed,his voice was slightly raised,but it sounded suspicious..he wasn't completely sure in his answer so the only right thing to do when you're in the wrong is to take it on another person. You watched his actions and couldn't believe it. The way he got all defensive is telling you everything. It was true. He was with the girl. You're was trynna act like his words didn't hurt you..but they did.

"Chris stop acting like that! I was just trynna have a normal conversation with you,and you're lying! Stop fucking lying Chris!"

That was it. Your nerve broke. You snapped,your voice raised,standing up to to stand in front of him too. Now the normal talk,became a back and forth yelling.After what it seems like hours here we are,pacing around the room and arguing,yelling and saying stuff to each other we would never. Something that would never leave our lips,something harsh..

"So you were with the girl!?"

You yelled at him,as he finally started giving in and saying the truth.

"YES!? so what?! im allowed to have fun outside of our relationship,its not my fault you're boring,and stuck-up at home bitch!!".

He yelled back at you even louder and louder,his hands threw in the air as he was pissed,as those words left his mouth,his face immediately changed. All the anger was replaced with-realization and guilt. He realized what he said. That words came out of his mouth before he could even think of them-no..before he could even stop them. And now standing there,his gaze flickering on my face with guilt,he knew he fucked up now. He shouldn't have said that.

`it's not my fault you're boring,stuck-up at home bitch.`

Your face dropped second as you heard his words,your eyes widening and immediately stinging with tears,your eyebrows narrowed. The feeling in your stomach heavy,your heartbeat quick and uneven,your hands now shaking. It was the first time Chris and you had a big fight like this,even worse,first time where he called you names. And for a real confession. They hurted. You felt your heart break into pieces as the love of your life. Your soulmate. Your should be future husband was now,standing in front of you,after ruining your heart,after breaking the full trust you had in him. You saw the look in his eyes as he realized what he said and saw your expression. Those beautiful big eyes now filled with tears and hurt in them. Those lips who always smiled around him now slightly agape in shock and disbelief. That body he always appreciated and loved every inch of it,was now on a distance from him,giving off a fear and hurt in it.

Was what he said true? Did he mean it?

"-i.."

You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. You were speechless. Watching him as he just ruined the best moments we had. Your vision became blurry all of a sudden and you felt wave of dizziness quickly pacing around the room to sit on the edge of the bed,your hands shaking and tears swelling in your eyes who are about to fall any minute.

"No..ma'please listen-shit..im s-so sorry..please..just listen to i didn't mean that i swear-"

Chris stumbled across his words,sitting next to me as he saw tears run down my cheeks and little sobs coming from my mouth,he wanted to reach out and touch me. Protect me. Comfort me. But no. He can't do that. Not when he is the reason for this. When he is the reason im hurt. Im crying. More and more tears falling to the ground and soaking my shirt.

"Chris get out..please just get out."

Fear runned across Chris's eyes at the thought to leave,to leave you alone, he knew you needed some time,but he didn't want to leave you. Not right now. But he couldn't do anything else cause it's his fault.

"i-..okay ma' but please let me explain..it's not what you think plea-"

He pleaded his voice now sounding much softer and sincere,his eyes soft and full with regret. But i cut him off.

"-Chris. get out."

My voice sharp,i tried to sound untouched and unbothered but the break in my voice give away my hurt and sadness,my eyes red and my voice vulnerable but this time. Not in a good way.

Chris couldn't do anything at this point it's just going back and forth for nothing,he knew he had to leave,or something else bad can happen,with a sad nod he stood up,the bed squealing as he did,and with a few stumbles across the room he opened the doors,but before he left he turned to me one last time and whispered

"I love you,im sorry.."

Click. He left. Leaving you alone crying on a bedroom bed,with your heart broken and emotions mixed up. You needed time. Hoping that something can make this work. Can fix this. But only thing that was clear is that Chris will give anything and everything just for your forgiveness just to be with you. To be there for you. And he will make sure to do it.

heyyy lovies this is part two,im sorry its been a long time since the first one but I've been busy,and this one is very longer ik,but i will make sure to make the part 3 last one! hope you enjoyed this and lmk what you think‼️🫶🏼 love yall🩷🍭 here's a LINK for part 1 if anyone is wondering 🫶🏼

lili's corner🍭🍓💌

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