#who got his ass possessed trying to gain powers

[psykoe100]

Drew my sona *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[hopeless-avo]

AU | SY Transmigrates as Someone Else | WQW Edition

ヾ⁠(⁠*⁠’⁠Ｏ⁠’⁠*⁠)⁠/~

In this world, when attempting to transfer SY into SQQ, the system glitches.

This glitch happens as the ‘SQQ villain’ role is still occupied, meaning SQQ would have still been present in his body, probably being able to counteract/treat the Qi deviation when it started, as he had some magical herb or another that he had on him due to his previous occurrences and history of bad deviations, so he survives.

SY is just there in the system’s waiting room, watching this screen and text glitch out.

He questions this malfunctioning system on wtf it wants him to do /who he would have become, cause come on, obviously he was gonna be isekai’ed and has suspicions on where he would be going as of what he was going off about and the voices he heard before he expired.

He chooses to shelve his panic and grief for later when he has time to process and mourn once he removes himself from whatever the fuck this situation is, cause like duh, he is dead he’ll never see his family againohmygod-

Anyways, he finds out that he would have been placed in SQQ’s body and nope what the hell do you want me to die?!?! and tries to see if he could be anyone else, ‘cause like come on, it’s PIDW!

He wants to at least be able to see all the cool flora and fauna if he has no choice of what world he will be living in, and although living as a woman may mean he gets to live longer, there is the threat of the heavenly pillar and the sudden transition of living as a man to a woman would be just too jarring.

So! After the system sorta relents at seeing that this guy is giving it another way to operate as well as saving its ass from being taken to see its higher-ups, it gives a list of potential other people that he can become that sorta has similar power and potential to affect the plot as being SQQ would have granted, although never as much given SQQ’s natural predisposition.

SY gets given the choice of LQG, QQQ, The Old Palace Master, Gongyi Xiao, and a few others.

Given his desire of wanting to live a relatively alive existence, he forgoes the more plot-present characters, such as Gongyi Xiao and The Old Palace Master, as well as LQG (cause he does not want to get shanked by SQQ, please and thank you), and due to previous arguments and reasons, he forgoes QQQ.

He looks over the remaining names and sees WQW, a character that doesn’t actually appear or get mentioned much in PIDW, is known to be the peak lord of the sword-forging peak, has massive muscles and has literally, like, one line when LBH got sent over and picked up Zheng Yang.

Additionally, the guy owns that sword that can tell if someone is possessed, so he would only have to stay away from the thing if the system doesn’t ensure that he can’t be ousted as such.

With this, SY as WQW would be living his best life as this guy bc he can fly on his sword all day and stay away from the plot while planning his escape when Cang Qiong Mountain Sect sets alight!

So with his choice made, SY, now WQW, wakes up half-disorientated, his forearms aching and the sounds of crying children and concerned/panicked teenagers.

After he gets dragged to Qian Cao Peak, the still-glitching system gives him the rundown of the situation of how he entered his new body; apparently Original!WQW got caught up in trying to stop a disciple from experimenting with volatile sword materials and the forge blew up as he tried to do damage control after he got everyone out, gaining a head injury and leaving him with plausible temporary amnesia, in addition to a sort of broken/glitched OOC lock that gradually corrupts over time till it's gone due to the vague understanding of the guy.

SY|WQW [we’ll just call him WQW from now on] realised that he was placed in PIDW a few months before the disciple choosing where LBH officially enters the sect, gets picked, and then is abused by SQQ [future him problem!!!] and although he doesn’t want LBH to face all those injustices, the system will not let him take purposeful actions to change certain plot points in the face of system punishment.

After he is fully released from Qian Cao Peak, he is expected by both the sect and mandated by the system to attend the disciple choosing.

While watching the poor children climb the massive staircase and start digging their hole to the best of their ability in an attempt to become a part of the prestigious sect and change the course of their life which they would most likely wish they didn’t join when LBH sets this place on fire…and sees what he thinks is a smol fluffy girl who has the determination and a spark in her eye attempting to dig a massive hole meticulously to catch the eye of a peak lord.

He runs through each wife in LBH’s harem to see if he can match this cute jie-jie with, and can’t seem to match her.

Looking around, he takes note that the other peak lords are overlooking her, seemingly disinterested or glancing her over with slight disgust at her thoroughly worn-through but obviously meticulously cleaned-up/washed clothing.

His eyeing had caught the eye of a little girl, most likely NYY who stood next to who he could only assume to be SQQ. She asks SQQ something about having a new martial sibling, which draws the attention of both SQQ and LQG to the girl.

Obviously having changed something as now NYY is eyeing this girl instead of her future demon harem husband system don’t punish me, as well as placing this jie-jie in the lane of SQQ, who is eyeing her with an unnamed but obviously not good look cause this cute girl is in front of a lecherous man as well as in the sight of LQG who wow has such a womanly visage I'd have thought that he would be more gruff who is set to die off in a few years and is peak lord of a boyish and brutish peak which he doesn't think that such a pretty jie-jie should be on, there is only one thing he can do!

So, at the end of the day, he ends up picking this smol bean before these ppl can get their hands on her, as obviously she wasn’t accepted in the original PIDW and if she had lived would have most likely ended up as a harem member, cause no way would such a cute bean not grow up and not catch the eye of LBH!

Obviously he won't let her suffer such a fate or leave her in the hands of SQQ. This causes some of his martial siblings to side-eye him, as he has a history of choosing more well-built candidates and not skinny dirty runts that look like death-warmed-over.

This smol jie-jie has sparkles in her eyes as she gets called over by one of WQW’s runners, which light up more the closer she gets to her new to-be-Shuzin!!! HIM!

WQW feels proud of his choice and decides that that is enough of tempting fate and the system, so he turns to leave, promising himself to ensure this little jie-jie lives her best life away from the plot [and LBG and his harem] on his peak!

…not seeing the system glitching and erroring to hell and back, not able to punish him as it was not a purposeful choice and raging in its system space at the hell that its higher-ups would put it through.

All because SY|WQW didn’t take note of the child’s outerwear. :)

[l0vergirlatheart]

Hello! Idk if your requests are open but I just wanted to get this off my head before I forget it😅

I was thinking a sagau with a creator reader who’s secretly a super-genius( iq of a gods level) who sees everything like it’s a hologram?( stuff like math, science, medical, mechanical, strategies, etc…) how do you thing they would react if they got to see from the creators perspective? Who would find it useful? Who would find it more annoying? Who would be impressed about it? How would take advantage of it in battle?

Ah, my requests are indeed open as of right now! when I first read this I thought of that one woman and the random ass math equations meme :sobs: also childe's is short 'cause idk what to do for him...

anyways, this is a cool idea!! chars. used are : Al-Haitham, Childe, and Kaveh. i love Kaveh sm :((<3

start below cut

AL-HAITHAM

Oh, when Al-Haitham first saw you randomly fiddling with seemingly the air, he thought maybe something might be wrong with you. Maybe you were sleep deprived? Sick? Tired? Slightly delusional? You, of course, noticed he was staring at you and sighed.

"Stop staring at me like I'm crazy and just come over here and look." He quickly nodded and obeyed. He would never even think of taking another moment to stop. He quickly approached next to you, and then out of nowhere, suddenly a bunch of light [color] words, symbols, and numbers appeared infront of you two. He looked at them, hen back at you, and then back at them. What were these? So many equations he'd never seen before... You glanced at his confused face and suppressed a laugh.

How cute he is when he is confused, you thought, smiling to yourself. He was trying pretty hard to understand them, though it was all something only you really knew.

He slowly gained the courage to ask, "What... are these..?"

"Well, my lovely little scribe, these are all problems and formulas from which I've learned. I haven't implemented them into Teyvat at all, of course though."

'Lovely little scribe..?' He thought, his face heating up a bit. "I-if you don't mind me asking, why didn't you..?" 'Archons, did I really just stutter.. how embarrassing...'

"Well, there really isn't a reason for anyone here to learn it. I merely use it so could help me control the events of Teyvat easier. There is no need for anyone on Teyvat to learn such a thing, if they do not possess the power I do." You said, smiling at his reaction to his new nickname.

"I.. see.. That is very.. interesting." He said, trying to process it all as he glanced at you, just to see you smiling at him, and quickly looked back at the hologram. He couldn't handle it-- you were just too much for him to handle. [positively, of course. he loved the creator in a lot of ways.]

"Not as interesting as you, love."

"!!!"

Oh archons, you've broke him!

end : 1/3

KAVEH

you have no idea how down bad I am for this man istg

"I'm surprised you've gotten the hang of this already! N-Not that I doubted you of course, but most people don't learn so quickly! N-No that I mean to say you're most people, you aren't!! B-But I don't mean to try and single you out, nor do I mean to mean to say you're the same--" Kaveh tripped over all his words, trying to make sure they weren't going to offend you at all, but he just kept poking holes in each until he heard you let out a light laugh.

"It's alright Kaveh. I know what you're trying to say, thank you. I've just got a nifty little trick up my sleeve."

...Archons, he loved your laugh. It made him feel so giddy.

"Do you mind telling me? I-I just want to se if I could use it to hurry and finish my work faster, not that I mean to use you or anything, but--"

You could sense he was about to go on another trail of thoughts, so you simply smiled and said, "It is not a trick that can be learned, it's more of a power I possess." He nodded, and internally sighed.

"...Come here, let me show you. I'll let you decided whether it's useful or not." You said, motioning for him to stand next to you.

What an honor it is, to be invited next to the Divine Creator, and how important it is... and how I get too! Ah, happy day! He thought, as he happily sped walked his way next to you. What happened next, made him feel as if he was ascending.

You carefully grabbed Kaveh's hand and guided up into the air, and as he tilted his head in confusion as a blush appeared on his cheeks, suddenly words, numbers, problems, and more appeared on thin air! They all had solutions and such, and he could understand most of them because they were the ones you two were just working on, but others had unfamiliar letters and language, with different numbers and much different ways of solving them.

"So? What do you think?" You inquired, looking at him to see his reaction. He was completely astonished. You did all of this in one day?! Not say he was doubting you or anything, but he'd never seen it before! Such complex things that took him and others so long took you merely a minute or two!

"...woah." Was all he could mutter as he stared up at the hologram.

You chuckled, and said, "There's one more thing I'd like to show you..." And you guided his hand to another part of the hologram, as if you were swiping. Suddenly, a bunch of blueprints and diagrams appeared, and he quickly recognized them. They were his future projects he had planned on! He stared at them, then at you, and then just turned red. Both because he was flustered, and because he was blown away.

You'd been thinking about.. me..? And from the looks of it.. you've been trying to.. help me?!

You smiled and squeezed his hand, and he had to muffle a little 'eep!'

...He did not do very well muffling it. You chuckled and whispered in his ear, "You're so cute Kaveh, you know that?"

God, he loved the way his named rolled off of your tounge.

[i love kaveh to a normal amount i swear..]

end : 2/3

CHILDE / TARTAGLIA

"What're you doing?"

"Solving formulas to see which artifacts are best for this fight." You answered, continuing to move and use your hologram.

"A fight is a fight! What're artifacts really needed for?" He groaned, dramatically.

"For you? To do more damage. Some others do better support, off-field, healing--"

"Yeah but isn't doing so much math boringgg?" He drawed out, he just wanted to fight this [boss] already!

"Do you want to win this fight?"

"..Well, yeah..!"

"Then let me check these artifacts."

He whined, dramatically. He didn't really see why you needed that stupid hologram, it was quite annoying... taking up all your attention when he's right there! Sure he can't read half of those equations, but he can entertain you more than that 'floating screen' can! That's for sure!

Though, Childe wouldn't push anymore. You're the creator, whatever you say goes.

"Aand... done! Now use these artifacts and--" You handed him the artifacts before he eagerly put them on and grabbed your hand before you could get caught up in those stupid little symbols again.

"Let's go, Your Grace!!! I don't wanna wait any longer!!" He semi-shouted enthusiastically, holding onto you gently. You smiled, and shook your head lightly, but silently laughed.

...maybe you could let it slide this time.

end : 3/3

[dork-a-doodle]

Cringe is dead and I’m redesigning my old UT/DR OC/Self-Insert: Echo (she/they)

Info dump about them below the cut!

So I originally made them in the wake of Deltarune’s release, when the whole “we, the players, are possessing Kris 😱” thing was very fresh and the whole Undertale Multiverse was still going strong. So naturally they started out as basically a self insert, the version of me that played Undertale and later Deltarune.

So a quick rundown of their lore (btw I make no apologies for the Mary Sue aspects of this):

They originally controlled Frisk, doing several different Runs, endlessly curious about the world

At the end of their most recent True Pacifist they find their way back in the True Lab and into a part of it they hadn’t seen before

While exploring they accidentally activated a machine from before Alphys’s time and get Gastered

…kind of

Instead of being fully “shattered across space and time” they’re just… slightly fractured across space and time

Tbh I like to think of it like they got hurled full force at the 4th wall and got stuck in it like jello

Not really breaking the 4th wall so much as jiggling it aggressively and gaining an new kind of perspective

This had some interesting consequences, including (but not limited to):

separating from Frisk (who runs out of the Lab in fear) and gaining a physical form of their own

the ability to slip into different universes at a whim

the inability to talk normally, now effectively “speaking” in text box noises (lmao get Animal Crossing-ed idiot) and thus can’t be understood by most people (with a few exceptions)

the ability to posses objects and other people (which they do feel the need to sometimes as their true form is off putting to most, though they try not to possess people if they can help it)

others probably? haven’t quite figured that out yet

Which these newfound abilities, they decide to explore the multiverse and see all the interesting things it has to offer

But first, they decide they want a traveling companion, so they don’t get lonely

And they know the perfect candidate, someone who understands what it’s like to have unfathomable power and the want to explore all possibilities with that power for your own entertainment and curiosity’s sake

Someone who really doesn’t have anything left to seek in this world

And damn it if Flowey isn’t very interested in that offer

This arrangement is a strangely balanced symbiosis

For Flowey:

traveling the multiverse gives him a kind of clean slate he could never achieve on his own, especially with the loss of his reset powers

the multiverse is also very interesting and fun to explore

they know what he’s been through and what kind of a person that’s made him better than anyone else. they understand it, and they know to judge him for it would be hypocritical

For Echo:

so long as Flowey is attached to them in some capacity he can understand their strange “speech�� and frequently acts as a translator (they are also learning sign language to ease that burden)

he’s far more experienced in battle and frequently acts as protection in more aggressive universes

re: the point about mutual understanding

Flowey is also unable to absorb their soul, which means his power over them is limited and if he crosses a line they’re fully able to ditch is ass in any universe they want

It’s notable that while Echo’s curiosity can occasionally override their morality, they’re still more inclined to chose the kinder option

I consider them to be chaotic neutral, leaning towards chaotic good

(I also personally see Flowey as somewhere between true neutral and chaotic neutral, occasionally slipping into chaotic evil. What can I say, he’s a nuanced guy)

Anyway, they travel the multiverse together, experiencing new things, seeing interesting sights, causing chaos

Eventually they find themselves in the Deltarune side of the multiverse

The universe they end up in is one where the entity possessing Kris is an incredibly malevolent one

Or I should say, the entity that was supposed to be possessing Kris

As Echo senses the Bad Vibes approaching this random human child, they say “absolutely the fuck not” and possess Kris themself to block the entity

This does mean they have to drop Flowey to do this, so he’s just kinda in the background for the time being

From there it’s basically just Chapter 1 until the point when Kris rips out the soul and goes to eat some pie

While they’re distracted, Flowey climbs in and breaks open the cage so Echo can unpossess the soul and leave now that the malicious entity is gone

They do decide to stick around and check out these Dark Worlds

Luckily for them, while they were busy dealing with the classroom Dark World, Flowey took the time to explore the town and found this perfectly good empty vessel that someone seems to have discarded

Deciding not to question it, they possess the vessel and wait for a new Dark World to open so they can explore it together

And that’s the basics of their story (or as much of it as I have ironed out lol). Hopefully this hyperfixation stays with me cuz I’d love to explore their character a lot more 😁

[gemsofthegalaxy]

really hope that the scene with Greg and Ewan after the funeral is in the deleted scenes !!

it also makes me sad for some of the other things that were cut between them as well.

I think it's very interesting how toys and animals get brought up here. Maybe I'm being an insane gif-comber, pepe silvia ass, but... The scripts strongly implies that Greg and Ewan bonded over animals and animal welfare, but this was also used as a weapon against Greg to get him to do what Ewan wanted, and the fingerprints of this are left in canon. It's so fucking interesting and also we were robbed.

Greg in the scripts is a Zoology major, which implies he likes animals to some degree, or was he trying to gain approval from his grandfather, who cares more about animals than about his grandson- Greg in the scripts was sent animal gore by his grandfather in an effort to make him stop using disposable razors.

In their last deleted scenes, which is a fight between them with Greg accusing Ewan of disliking him and Ewan accusing Greg of being ungrateful and not wanting to spend time with him, they discuss the activities they did when Greg was a kid. Ewan says "i took you fishing and you hurt a frog" which to me is a very interesting set of two things.... fishing kills the fish, and he was the one who brought Greg to do that, but then seems to be accusing him of being cruel to animals, which, again, is a motif that was embedded between them but mostly did not make the cut.

Then the conversation switches more to material possessions, which I also have a lot to say about, but I'll get there in a second. After talking about toys, Ewan says he bought Greg a book about birds. Another animal thing, that Greg probably had a genuine interest in, and out of all the stuff that was said, this brings Greg to a standstill.

With all of this, it feels so much more pointed that Ewan uses Greenpeace, which fights for the environment and the natural world, as a punishment for Greg choosing Waystar, Logan, and "capitalism" over him and his/their shared apparent love of animals. And Greg being willing to sue Greenpeace back (although I am still not sure if, like, Greg actually got anywhere with that or was just saying it to be a brat mostly) is just.... woof.

More about the material possessions stuff under the cut.

First. Just like to point out. Greg in canon was willing to drive 24 hours to get his grandfather simply because Ewan doesn't like to fly for environmental reasons, and seemed excited to spend a bunch of time with him. Ewan in the scripts accuses Greg of "never coming to see him" which Greg disputes.

Ewan in the scripts deprived Greg of very typical material possessions such as TV and power wheels, and in canon says that "thinking one's work is so important is akin to mental illness" or something along those lines. Greg in the scripts throws ideas of "productivity" in his face because he knows his grandfather is anticapitalist.... but, again, I ask, what does Ewan think the alternative is, for Greg? He was sitting on money for him but both Marianne and Greg had very little money, and Marianne was implied to be irresponsible with money thus he can't have taught her how to manage it because he, what, wants to pretend he already lives in a world where it doesn't exist?

I've pointed out before and this deleted scene corroborates! In my opinion, Ewan seemingly tried to make sure Greg was not materialistic as a person, and instead created outright scarcity of both material goods AND affection. Greg doesn't think Ewan even likes him! and Ewan can barely insist he does. He says "i liked you well enough" you would think a parental figure, a grandpa, would say "i love you" or "of course i like you" but those are too strong of statements because Ewan is entirely emotionally unavailable.

You could argue he saw how spoiled Logan's kids were and didn't want his own turning out like that, but it's insane for him to think that the solution, then, is just give them literally nothing and that will work out well? Especially when they KNOW you have millions of dollars you're sitting on, it's asking to be resented and that's not even the angle Greg takes with him. Greg still fucking wants his love and his approval even more than his money. goddamn i get sad.

[anders-hawke]

i have to laugh bc i saw someone say mystra "was done so dirty in bg3" like LMFAO the last mystra literally had wizards duking it out with each other to become her chosen or whatever and then it got so bad that eventually one of the mystra's was like "alright this sucks ass now nevermind". and then there was the time mystra possessed a mortal woman and had seven daughters as her with the woman's husband and that fucking killed the woman and the husband abandoned them bc he'd had no idea and then mystra saddled elminster with the youngest three. the wizard fights was how azuth became mystra's chosen and then mystra's daughters (who aren't aasimar like aylin, just very powerful wizards/sorcerers) are also her chosen, though i think two of them are dead now. and she ALSO put elminster through a bunch of bullshit tests and started like right after his whole family was murdered or whatever so like that man can have his cheese from my camp, i'll chew him out later. and like yeah all that was from the first mystra but one of the first things this new mystra has done is wreck gale so i don't think that speaks highly to her character nor is out of line with previous incarnations. she may be "neutral good" but only as it pertains to her portfolio, in my view - she is "good" for protecting magic and the chaos of some actions cancel out with the lawfulness of her stringent rules for the use of magic. AND even if she was basically dead for most of gale's life and they only met "face to face" thirteen years before the events of the game and started dating then, when gale was already an adult, i would still consider it grooming. he was raised in a society - especially in waterdeep bc it's a center of magic - that venerates "good" aligned gods because they're literally irrefutably real. gale was obviously taught to value the weave and hold great respect for mystra, he attended one of the most prestigious academies of magic, and he was mentored by elminster himself. he was in a unique position to be used by mystra as wizards before him had been used - notably elminster himself, but also literally azuth, the patron lesser deity of wizards. (and the letters elminster sends to gale in his origin and if he becomes a god speak to the guy holding so much guilt for being party to the abuse gale faced - that he should have done more to prevent gale's downfall, especially bc he is one of mystra's survivors.) and then azuth's last line in the series of books in bg3 about the gods is literally about forever yearning for mystra. so then gale wasn't even pulling the idea of getting more power out of his ass or anything, someone else was given power/allowed to obtain it to the point of becoming a god in service to mystra. he disobeyed mystra's boundaries for using magic/gaining power, yes, but in his origin when you talk to mystra and say "i just wanted to be worthy of you" or w/e she says that gale was already worthy and just lacked patience. so again he wasn't even told a solid no it may have been more of a "no right now" no. (i say maybe bc atp mystra might just be gaslighting gale, trying to pretend that she hadn't been 100% forever and ever denying him, i wouldn't put it past her.) of course what's taken into account for deciding godly alignment is going to be a bit different than for beings without a godly portfolio. like!!!!! mystra can be dead in my eyes and still have neutral good alignment as a goddess bc for her most of all it's fucking complicated, seeing as she is like... the lifeblood of the realms or whatever. anyways. to end this... long-winded rant. part of what make's gale's story and romance so compelling is that he's completely correct when he says that the gods don't truly care about mortals, that they just cower behind ao. they can't really care bc they forget what it's like to be mortal, they depend on having mortal souls. they are just dressed up devils, dealing in souls. no good is wholly "good." they all have the power to save lives, to change lives for the better, yet squalor remains. it's an imperfect universe. compelling!

[blu3cl0v3rs]

I Can't Explain Ninjago

Season 3: Rebooting Rebooted

So, apparently the world goes on after possessed Satan becomes a DILF, and "The Ninja" apparently went to college or are teaching without a license. But not Trauma Child, he's busy being paraded around Ninjago! Anyways, Spiky, Freezy, Coal, Bluejay, and Meow all become teachers.

Meanwhile, newly named New Ninjago City becomes super duper techy and all of the vehicles fly. The teachers go on a field trip to the tower of the guy who invented all of the new technology: Anxious Tony Stark, who will be called Cyborg. Cyborg has a robot daughter named Pixie Dust, who gets Freezy's heart, metaphorically. Cyborg summons "the Ninja" (obv not including Trauma Child, he's busy fucking around with god's gold powers that he got by sort of taking the other "Ninja's" elemental power last season) and gives them a statue of himself.

These assholes break the statue, but it's okay because it was built to break. It has some funky Hacker Sticks and ninja outfits inside. Now, they're being chased by evil robots because, surprise, the Evil Liquid Cat didn't actually die; he's now a computer virus! So, he's trying to kill them again 👍 The fuckwads run away and put on the outfits that somehow fit them. Also Meow takes a buzzfeed quiz which tells her that she should date Coal, and Gandalf gets kidnapped by Evil Liquid Cat.

The six scamper off to Sensei DILF's house, and Trauma Child gets his ass whooped by running into a pole. They then get jumped by the Evil Roombas, and Freezy makes Pixie Dust turn Normal TM. Trauma Child and Sensei DILF steal a car from the Big Fighter Mech base, and they drive off into the sunset while actively being hunted down. The others go shut down the power, and then Pixie Dust now literally gets Freezy's heart. Or, well, half of it. So, she lives.

Trauma Child wants to use the god's gold powers to travel, but Sensei DILF tells him to shut up and stop, because Evil Liquid Cat can slurp up the remnants to become solid. Trauma Child also kidnaps a baby bird, and the bird's dad almost kills Sensei DILF. But, everything works out. Y'know, until Sensei DILF's chucked into the ocean and Trauma Child is kidnapped.

Meanwhile, Bluejay is mad at Coal because Bluejay wasn't the result of Meow's buzzfeed quiz and they fight, the others got their asses whooped by evil Gandalf because Evil Liquid Cat corrupted him, they learned that the evil robots are now being powered by electric eels, and they figure out that the Evil Liquid Cat was stolen by porple snek, who kidnapped Trauma Child.

"The Ninja" then decide to play the VR game that Evil Liquid Cat is trapped in, and [insert freddy fnaf at five bears reference here]. Anygays they holy grailed the motherfucker out of the game, but surprise surprise! After slurping almost all of Trauma Child's gold power from god, he gains a mostly corporeal form!!!! yayyyyyy 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 so the parkour pisschickens go to space and almost die. again. wooooo.

Oh hey also the Evil Liquid Cat finds the Big Gold-Stick Thing + god's gold weapons from the past and makes it into a portable lava lamp stand for himself. "The Ninja" fight him again, and porple snek shrinks and gets eaten by a robot bird.

They're fighting, it's really intense, all has failed and Ssomething needs to happen Now, and Freezy hopscotches his way over to the Evil Lava Lamp Cat, andddddddd.......

Freezy explodes.

Yep, he sploded 😔

Sorry, he's (supposedly) dead.

First | Previous | Next

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sorry this took so long, school's been dragging me to my living room (aka hell) and i've been fighting through a writing slump-

Tournament of Smellements will come..... eventually? i'll try my best idk 😭

[detectivemaker]

idea dump

This is just me jumping out ideas I've been having into The Fray

1. I've been seeing a lot of DC My Little Pony stuff especially Batman My Little Pony,  here's the Dork Squad and Michael and my MLP AU  that I probably won't write much about after I dump this into the world 

Jervis is either a unicorn who can't do magic so good (sort of like retrovrt's Pony Jervis) or non unicorn Type of Pony who really wants to be a unicorn (for anyone who also has an Instagram and follows @hatterhare, it's sort of like their version of pony Jervis)

Jonathan is a unicorn who due to experiments by his father was turned into  sort of a hybrid changeling creature who feeds on fear and can't shapeshift,  what makes it worse is that not soon after his horrible transformation he got his cutie mark, so it was his Destiny to be horribly mutated into a fear sustained abomination

Edward is a Pegasus blank flank,  he hides the fact that he is a talentless loser by trying to be the smartest guy in all the Equestria,   my idea is that he thought the best way to find his talent was to learn about different things, but he sent so much of his time learning those things he never actually did them to see if they were what he was destined to be good at

And finally Michael he's a draconoquist,  he sort of a lesser draconoquist cuz he's  only made up of snake and Cat parts, he's a draconic lord of insanity (still in training, his dad's the ascended Lord of insanity and that guy's pretty possessive of that title), but he says he's the draconic Lord of love when he's freed from his Stone prison he was put in by his father by the Dork Squad, who got into the heated argument (it was mostly John and Edward fighting jervis was trying to make them stop), and he bribes them into helping him gain more power by spreading Insanity (which will make him powerful so he can go back to the  draconoquist Dimension and kick his dad's ass to become the new ascended Lord of insanity) by promising them these things

To either turn Jervis into a unicorn or get rid of his pounding magic induced headaches

Give Edward the knowledge of what to do to get his cutie mark

And nothing for  Jonathan,  and he would undo the horrible hybridization he went through, but that's part of his Destiny and Michael cannot screw  with Destiny, so he just uses the old finger Boop  induced draconic hypnotism and make  him help

2. So you guys know that fetch me the souls audio,  I listen to a song that had it in there and I had this idea, about Michael absolutely  body horror transforming our favorite tree of dorks in to creatures I can best imagine as sort of like Hellraiser demons, and then absolutely evacuating the minds and making them more attack dogs than actual people, this idea also Associates this idea I have from time to time of all of them being stripped of one of their senses (think sort of like See No Evil Hear No Evil speak no evil monkeys)

jervis loses the ability to speak,  but not the ability to make noise, he's rendered the most animalistic of the three and can only make animal noises, also he's given a dog muzzle, I think either he wears no clothes or just some pants, and walks around like a dog

Jonathan is stripped of the ability of sight,  dressed up like a demented priest,  his eyes are covered by a blindfold either decorated with eye imagery or snake imagery, and can now  only yell words,  just imagine you a burglar, you just entered some weird Victorian hell mansion and just escaped a dog man, you walk into a place that looks like the interior of a church, suddenly some guy standing at the older whips his head around that your footsteps, points at you and he  yells the word heresy at the top of his lungs,  then you're tackled from behind by the dog man who  heard that and then your throat is ripped out with his terrible filthy dog man claws

Edward lost the ability to hear, he just doesn't have ears, he's the most normal looking other than the lack of ears but he sure can see pretty good

3, so I've been thinking about the hattercrow kids relationship with their grandmother, more specifically the grandmother on crane's side,  my John doesn't really know the specifics of his birth but he think it might either be   teen pregnancy or rape, maybe a little bit of both, but what he does know is his mother's is current location,  he informs the children when Dorothy is 20 and the twins are 10, they decide to visit their gram gram and have a pretty good time, John comes to,  reconnects with his absent mother  who gives him a hug and her cookbook, he comes back home and he doesn't stop smiling till next week

They don't really visit much after that, John and his mom text and call every once in awhile,  but not soon after the move back to Gotham Mrs crane kicks the bucket, and John cries harder than he did in that  Crow Barn

He never does learn about the circumstances of his birth, his mom asked if he wanted to know but he said he didn't, and truth be told he actually does not, it doesn't really matter he was born, he lived hated,  and now he's being loved by a wonderful husband and wonderful children, and  though only a little while a mother he barely knew and cried like a baby for

[via-rant]

THE OWL HOUSE RANT!! SPOILERS FOR FTF!!!

Okay so these are things I really want to happen in the last episode!! Obviously Eda and Camilla meeting!! Just imagine Camilla thanking her for taking care of her daughter!!Honestly I just want her to meet one of the other adults!! Speaking of the other adults, where's Alador?!?! Where's Gus' dad?!?! WHERE'S WILLOWS PAPA?!?! WHERE'S OWLBERT?!?!

Another thing is something we're obviously gonna get but I wanted to talk about some of my theories about that mysterious person Luz saw in The In Between (courtesy of Morgan Terry). Okay so Not So Average Fangirl said that it looked like King a little bit and maybe it's him from the future? Waving to Luz and trying to warn her about something? But the theory that I came up with is that it might be Terrok. Yes, I know "But he tried to kill King." Yeah but he was under the influence that Titans are evil. And Bill confirmed that he's been lying about that. Sort of. I mean, with what we heard in For The Future the fact that The Collectors wiped out all of the Titans besides King because Titans could use their magic to lock them up like they did this Kid Collector isn't really a lie. The only thing he lied about was them gaining great power. Also they weren't worshiping just the Kid Collector, they were worshipping literally every other Collector in the universe!! Anyway, but I was thinking maybe Terrok didn't like the fact that Bill "lied" and turned against him so he tried to find a way to comunicate with Luz and found out about The In Between and that's how he got there. Also, Titans don't have wings. Terrok does. Just saying.

Obviously more of STRINGBEAN!! EXCUSE ME WHILE I FANGIRL OVER HOW CUTE SHE IS!! AAAAAAAAAHHHH I LOVE HER SO MUCH *SOBS* *SCREAMS* *THROWS UP*

Anyway, the fact that Kid Collector (This is what I'm calling them now because he doesn't have an actual name.) and King are supposed to be mortal enemies but became friends is just... It's great. Well it was until BELOS!!! FUCKING!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

ALSO SOMEONE MENTIONED, I FORGET WHO, THAT RAINE MIGHT DIE?!?! BECAUSE THE ONLY REASON HUNTER SURVIVED THE POSSESSION WAS BECAUSE OF FLAPJACK?!?! SO LIKE... I'M SCARED?!?!

THE ADULTS!! BEATING!! BELOS'!! SEAWEED ASS!! PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE!!

WILLOW PUNCHING BOSCHA!! JUST ONE GOOD PUNCH IN THE FACE WOULD BE SO FUCKING SATISFYING!!

REUNIONS!!!! I LOVE REUNIONS!!! I CRIED WHEN ANNE GOT BACK HOME AND HER PARENTS HUGGED HER, I CRIED WHEN ANNE AND MARCY SAW EACH OTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER IT WAS SO SWEET AND CRIED AGAIN WHEN LUZ GOT HOME TO HER MOM AND THEY HUGGED AND WHEN LILITH AND HOOTY SAW EACH OTHER AGAIN!! I LOVE REUNIONS SO MUCH!! LUZ, KING, AND EDA NEED ONE, AND WILLOW AND HER DADS NEED ONE, AND GUS AND HIS DAD, AND THE BLIGHT SIBLINGS WITH THEIR DAD!! GOD!!

I!! WANT!! KING!! TO!! CRY!! HE IS EIGHT!! AND LITERALLY HAS THE WHOLE WORLD ON HIS SHOULDERS!! LIKE WHEN EVERYTHING IS OVER I JUST WANT HIM TO BREAK DOWN AND HAVE HIS FAMILY COMFORTING HIM, OH GOD YOU POOR THING!!

We already kind of got this but Caleb and Belos!! I want Caleb to tell Belos off before he dies!! OR LIKE A CALEB AND HUNTER INTERACTION!!

[borkadonk]

the fuckinuhhhh au thing

HMMMMM YEAH DONT WANNA SPAM TWITTER WITH LONG ASS THREADS SO IM PUTTING IT HERE FEEL FREE TO READ MY BRAIN DAMAGE AND DEAL WITH THE FUCKIN BLOCK OF RAMBLING TEXT IDC FUCK YOU

okay so explanation or somewhat of a plot but more of a prologue ish

amigos are roommates and work for the public safety bureau, twins go out devil hunting and jeremy just helps with devil research and work at home most of the time cuz he's lazy and a fuckin pussy he cannot fight devils lmao. one night at a pub or whatever the fuckin loser drank too much and got alcohol poisoning and just dropped dead at an alleyway, but just as his heart was shutting down the toast devil falls from the sky and fuckin dying, seeing the fresh dead body of jeremy he took over it for survival. now usually at this point he'd just run around endlessly trying to hide cuz y’know fiends gets killed and all but weirdly enough, he not only gained jeremys personality but also memories, at least most of it, its cuz he took over the body before the brain died probably lmao. so he knows where jeremy lives and he beelines straight to his apartment for shelter, a few hours later the twins come home to their roommate suddenly being a fiend. a moment of shock and grief wash over them of course but being professional devil hunters they knew what they had to do, they were always prepared to lose comrades but not someone who was never in the frontlines. that moment of shock confusion and hesitation was enough for toast to think of a bluff by saying that he's still jeremy, rae immediately throw personal questions and he managed to answer all of them, very convincingly too, syk wasn't convinced but didn't wanna kill either, not cuz of attachment but cuz of interest for how this phenomenon could happen, its not everyday that devils can bluff to be their host and realistically too. rae wanted to believe that he really was still jeremy but syk assured that it's not possible for them to still be classified as human when they look like,,, that. syk explaining that to rae kinda just freaked her out more cuz she feels like hanging out with some impostor so now she really wanted to kill him. cuz of the twins disagreement they took him to the bureau for a third opinion, from their division leader lily to be exact. lily was also confused at toasts existence, not sure if he's a hybrid or fiend or fused or whatever, so she resolved to treating him like any other devil with higher intelligence, hiring him as a devil hunter. which they don’t expect him to last long cuz jeremy was never known to be good at combat and the devil isn't very powerful either lmao, but one thing they do have in common is knowing how to run away and that's what he did for most missions. the bureau thought it was worth it anyways to somewhat make use of him even if it's not much, they were fully expecting him to die soon and consider it as like a community service or more like delayed death sentence for the toast devil for possessing a valued researcher

yea unsurprisingly, this au is also just another excuse for me to draw bread abuse but with plot, devils and fiends regenerate with blood so as they say he’s an unbreakable toy ehEHEHEHE

but also everyone suffers in this au cuz im evil like that y’know and so is fujimoto like what did you expect from a csm au really no happiness is ever allowed in this series dude

[spaceumbredoggos]

So much for Stardust Chapter Seventeen

Kenz’s POV:

I woke up on the couch in the hotel, breathing heavily. Lucifer was on the phone, talking to someone. I laid down on the couch in a daze, still feverish and in heat. I felt nauseous from Bill’s smoke, remembering how easily he can knock me out. More so could, but I managed to weaken him somehow.

The attack baffled me. Bill had been draining out my essence for his own gain for years. Why was it suddenly in that moment I was able to get him to where he was before he met me? And is this only temporary? How come I never got that energy back? Questions battered my already fragile mind. The blood on the trident signaled that Alastor had died. I felt bad for ratting him out, but at the same time, I had to.

Everything hurt as my stomach cramped. I kept feeling the surging urge to breed, and I knew it was only gonna get worse from here. All I could think about was Loona and her scent.

But I was too tired to speak or act. I wanted sleep. Sleep without the urge to get into someone. Sleep without being targeted by some Erdrich horror.

But it wouldn’t come due to the thoughts racing in my head. I kept having the same nightmare over and over. Bill, possessing Dipper’s body, stabbing it over and over. My head and heart hurt as I started to come out of my daze. I buried my face into the couch cushions. I felt a tap on my shoulder and almost turned around to snap, only to realize that it was just Husker. He flared his fur up in fear to look like a pinecone. I backed away and dug my face back into the cushions. “Let me sleep.”

“Lucifer wants to see you.”

“FUCK!!!” I snarled, trying to get my antlers out from the couch. I managed to get them out, only to tear the couch to shred. “Might wanna fix that. Also, I think since Alastor isn’t here to run things, the hotel is in trouble. If Alastor being dead results in you regaining your overlord status, then his duties should go to you. I would use this power wisely and not gamble your talons in the hands of snarling demons who would use the hotel for their own ill gains. And I would avoid all glowing yellow eyes.”

“I ain’t making a deal with some triangle fucker like Alastor did.” Husker hissed, but then realized that I was unable to move. He walked over to carry me, but I snarled at him. “Let me help you.”

“I let no one help me.” I tried to stand up, but couldn’t. “Just tell Lucifer to come here if it’s so fucking important. I’ll find my way home, and to some therapy. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can barely stand.”

Lucifer came in, noticing my fervent attempts to stand. Bee was there too, and Husker gave the three of us some privacy. I yowled and moaned, trying to stand up. Bee rushed over to me, holding me in place. “Stay still. You’ll hurt yourself.”

I opened my mouth to argue back, but noticed Loona walk in. “Loona!” My tail wagged all by itself, and I did the little tippy taps. Loona backed up as my tail drooped. “Fuck…” I whined, pulling away from Bee. “Ford was right. I’m not ready for any of this. But my body just wants to fuck so badly. I feel sick all the fucking time… And I know it’s not healthy. I just want to get better and—“

“That was really brave of you to attack Bill like that.”

“It was really stupid. It’s why I’m so drained. But at least, he’s weakened enough that we can form some sort of plan. But how long before he gets his strength back… I have a feeling he’s gonna target Dipper and if I’m not there…” I whined, unable to finish a single sentence. “I wanna go home and sleep. But I also wanna cuddle with someone. But I also wanna rip everyone’s liver out. At least Husker’s free from his contract with Alastor. Hah. Cheeky bastard. He made the wrong deal and got his ass whooped. Alastor being on Bill’s leash was gonna come back an’ bite him. It was only a matter of time.”

Lucifer cleared his throat to draw my attention. “Kenz, before you head home, you have to address what’s going on with your body.”

“Fuck!!!” I gritted my teeth. “You have to stay with Bee for at least a few days.”

“And why is she so special?” I snarled, but when Bee rubbed my antlers, I couldn’t help but wag my tail. “Why can’t I just stay with Loona—“

“Because you could hurt her. And she could hurt you.” Bee carried me in her arms as I whined and complained the entire way to her house in Gravity Falls. She laid me on the bed in her guest room as I transformed back into my human form.

“Kenz.” She transformed into her human form as well, laying next to me. She smiled as I was shaking. “You have the ability to break free from Bill’s mind control. And you managed to weaken him. You should be proud of yourself.”

“But he took advantage of me again. I’m so fucking sore.” I grabbed my phone and scrolled through Pinterest to look at memes. Bee took the phone away and put it on the nightstand. “Kenz…” She blushed before pulling away to compose herself. “Why was Loona acting so weird? Like she wanted nothing to do with me?” I felt my heart tear in half. “Was it really just a one sided crush? Was she really just in heat? Why haven’t I stopped? Why can’t I just turn myself off like that? Are we still gonna be friends? Or is it too weird?” I started to spoon a pillow, longing for Loona. Bee pulled me away and brought me some pizza. “Kenz. Loona’s still gonna be your friend. She just has to deal with the aftermath, that’s all. Now will you please eat something? You must be starving.”

“I feel nauseous.” Bee raised an eyebrow as I took a bite out of the slice of pizza. “There, happy?”

But Bee wasn’t convinced. She could tell that all I wanted was a cuddle, but I had been depriving myself. “Kenz. I think I know what’s going on.”

I took another bite of the pizza then put it back on the plate. “What?”

“You’ve been going through heat/ruts since you started puberty at age nine.” Bee laid her head on my chest. “It’s why you couldn’t sleep without a million plushies for the longest time, and that you got more aggressive when it was that time of the month. Your umbredoggo self was trapped. And you never had sex or had been in a relationship before. The closest you ever got was self stimulation. I blame your parents, and I’m sorry you feel like you’re a burden.”

She feels so nice. I sighed, letting Bee rub my shoulders the same way Loona did. “Kenz. You don’t have to stifle anymore.”

“But what if I get hurt?” I gazed into Bee’s eyes as she kissed me. I felt everything melt away when she did so.

The rest of the night was spent snuggling and getting close. Bee never seemed to let go of me, and I never wanted to get out. All I wanted was to be cuddled and petted.

Bee’s phone started buzzing, but she turned it off. “How do you feel, Kenz?”

“Still feverish and horny. I don’t know how long this lasts…”

“At least drink something.” Bee gave me a glass of water. I drank, taking a breath and laying down. Bee covered me in blankets and pillows, patting my head. “I have to tell Ford what’s going on with you and figure out a plan to help. I hate leaving you alone like this where you could escape and potentially get into trouble, so I’m going to do something you don’t like.”

“And that is?” I felt something pinch at the back of my neck. Suddenly I couldn’t move. “What is this sorcery?”

“You know how when cats are held by the scruff, they don’t move due to an involuntary reflex?”

“What have you done?”

“I put a chip clip on the back of your neck. It triggers the same thing with Umbredoggos. And it apparently works in your human form.” Bee was giggling, but I glared at her, not amused. I sighed as Bee left.

Several hours went by before Bee returned. She swaddled me up in blankets and held me tightly before removing the chip clip. “Un-Burrito me!!!”

“Someone’s a spicy human.” Bee teased, but then stopped as she sighed to reveal some news. “Kenz. Let me be real. You need to have sex. Like right now.”

I glared at her. “Kenz, it’s the only solution. Otherwise, you could burn yourself out and possibly die.”

My head was hazy as I sighed. “I’m a bit nervous. I mean, I’m starting to like you a lot. Not as much as Loona, but I am nervous like, what if I can’t please you or your kinks don’t match mine or—“

“Aww… You’re overthinking it again.” Bee took the blankets off as I took my outfit off. The smell of biscuits filled the air as I felt myself get hotter and more agitated. “I need someone to tame me and I hate to admit it!!!”

And so the night went on. (Due to a recent poll, the first vote said the author should gloss over all the spicy omegaverse esque stuff. So that’s what they’ll do. If you want an in depth version, then just ask in the author’s ask box. The authors wants the focus to be more on the symptoms of heat/rut rather than the actual sex. Like the fever, the irritability, the horniness, the dumbassery, and the times where Kenz’s brain just turns off and they go completely feral. Kenz by nature is a pretty promiscuous person, but has their urges stifled from years of discipline. This not only makes their heat/ruts worse, but it makes the platonic dynamics they get themself into a lot more angsty and challenged. Kenz is a spicy person who is also a dumbass at times. But a dumbass that a lot of people find adorable and attractive. Not in a Mary Sue/Gary Stu way. Also, minors read this blog, and the author wants to keep them from seeing some nsfw stuff if they don’t ask for it. The author is adamant about writing NSFW stuff only on demand (with the exception of Yandere Bill Headcanons.))

I woke up being spooned by Bee. I nuzzled into her, cuddling her. She woke up and stroked my hair. She nuzzled my neck as I grabbed my phone. I turned on a Skylanders stream and watched, only to get distracted by Bee’s nibbling.

Bee suddenly stopped as she got another phone call from Ford. “Hold on one sec, Kenz.” Bee got up and answered the call as I grumbled for more head pets.

“Hello? Yeah, it’s Bee. What? No, I’m not fucking Kenz. They’re asleep right now. Yes they’re still in heat. No I’m not giving them back to you while they’re still in heat because you’re going to have a problem with them having sex with someone in your houze. I know how Mabel looks at them.”

I rolled my eyes and started nuzzling Bee. “What? Dipper’s missing? Have I seen him? No. He was mumbling about Kenz in his sleep? Oh shit. This is bad. Kenz has been mumbling something about Dipper being in danger… Yeah. I thought it was the typical nightmare. Dipper’s been sick lately? Fever? Headache? Not eating and drinking?”

I jolted as Bee hung up. “Shit. Dippers not feeling well and has gone missing.”

“Ah he’ll be fine.” I nuzzled Bee’s neck. “Kenz, this sounds serious. He was running in his sleep. He probably doesn’t know where he is.”

“I thought I saw him outside.” I stood up, rushing and putting my clothes on. I opened the door and found Dipper on the ground, passed put. “Hey buddy chum pal buddy—“

[fuji09]

So Derek is a born werewolf. We are shown how different the lives of those who are born wolves and those who are bitten. We know they have different rules for their own kind.

Derek did mess up sometimes, they all did. But this bad behavior thing is weird because, Derek wasn't a bad person. He wasn't trying to gain power and do whatever the fuck he wants. He had to do what he could to survive.

Werewolves need a pack or they become omegas and go feral and usually are killed. So Derek NEEDS a pack. Not want, but needs. And he needs them to be strong to protect themselves and each other.

I know a lot of people think Derek was abusive and no, no he was not. He was a young and scared werewolf who had been hiding out for 6 years after the most traumatic experience he ever lived through. All he had was his sister and when she died and he became the alpha he was all alone.

He didn't bite Scott, but he needed Scott in his pack. They BOTH needed a pack to survive. Derek is in survival mode. He has to do anything and everything he can to keep werewolves a secret, stay off the hunters radar, and keep humans from being killed. All the while having a stubborn teenager who won't listen to a word he says and does everything possible to risk people finding out and hurting others.

I know Scott was a teen, I know he was scared. But so was Derek. He had to teach this kid who wanted nothing to do with him, he had to become pack with this teen who wanted to ignore the fact he was a werewolf when that is dangerous to EVERYONE around him. I'm not saying Scott had to blindly follow Derek, there is nothing wrong with talking things out and questioning stuff. But Scott would not listen at all and that was a huge problem.

At this point Derek isn't even an alpha yet but he's kinda having to take on that role to survive.

When Derek does become an alpha then he has to create a pack, he tries to get Scott to join but again Scott was stubborn. Derek turned teens (who take to the bite the easiest so less risk of death) who needed help, who wanted a family, who would probably die young due to epilepsy, and was as in an abusive home.

Derek got consent. He ALWAYS got consent, that was important to him. He explained everything, the danger, risks, what's expected of them, and he helped them control themselves. What Derek did was mutually beneficial to him and his betas. The more he had, the stronger he was and his pack.

Did Derek get physical to show the severity of things? Yes, he did. Y'all gotta remember werewolf behavior is different than humans in some ways. Actual wolves get physical with each other.

Was Derek an ass at times? Yes, but he always cared deeply. He wasn't power hungry, he literally gave up his alpha spark to save Cora. He forgave Scott when Scott forced Derek to bite Gerard even though that was a huge betrayal. He forgave Scott for pretending to be interested in joining Derek's pack and got closer to him to fulfill the plan he kept everyone in the dark about. He put aside his hatred for hunters and the Argents to work with Chris and Allison. He saved Stiles and started to trust him. He let Erica and Boyd leave him even though it made them all weaker. He made sure even though Stiles was possessed by the nogitsune that no one would kill Stiles. He forgave Peter for all he did. He forced Isaac away to keep him safe from the alpha pack.

Derek did so much to protect and save others even though they weren't technically pack. He risked his own life so many times. And throughout the seasons we see so much growth in him and it's beautiful.

So many of y'all make Derek out to be a villain and he wasn't. He was hurt, traumatized, forced to grow up too fast, scared, lonely, and did the best he could with what he had.

[soft-october-night]

The Love Interests in the Works of Jane Austen: An Assessment

This is an "extremely scientific" and "thoroughly researched" ranking based on personality, money, family and connections, and is a bit of a blend between the book characterizations and the film characterizations (and is in no way only based on my own opinions). Here we go, grouped by book but not much else.

Edmund Bertram: absolute trash. His family has treated you unbelievably shitty since day one and not only has he BARELY noticed, he ALSO has treated you shitty. Will fall in love with someone beautiful and fun and when she dumps him will come crawling to you for a rebound. His passion for you is so lackluster that even the esteemed author who wrote about it barely spared a paragraph on your relationship. Has a job but only because his dad owns the land the church is built on. You’ll gain no connections or family by marrying him, since he’s literally your cousin.  0/10

Henry Crawford: There IS such thing as too much fun, and that is never clearer than in this man, who will try to seduce you as a game, freak out when his middling overtures don’t work and then try and seduce you “for really real” this time. You will definitely move up in the world if you marry him, and if you play your cards right it seems like his sister is also just REALLY into you, so see how that goes. Life will be pretty okay until you find him in bed with one (or more, who knows) of your relations. 3/10, 8/10 if you’re into that

John Willoughby: Will be like something out of a romance novel, you’re thinking he’s going to propose and then he just fucking ghosts you and embarrasses the fuck out of you at a party by acting like he doesn’t know you. Somehow marry him (congrats on the inheritance you must have, btw) and get ready to take a backseat to the whims of his aunt for as long as she lives. 1/10, at least you get to live in a nice house.

Edward Ferrars: Oh Edward. He’s a bit of a mess, isn’t he? Super kind, your family loves him, he made a bunch of stupid decisions in his youth that are coming back to bite him in the ass. He is loyal to an absolute fault, but you luck out when his fiance turns out to be a bit of a gold digger and dumps him when his mom disowns him. He doesn’t have a job and neither do you, but his family doesn’t wanna speak to him (lucky you!) and you’ll be happy and poor together if you two can work on your communication skills. 7/10.

Colonel Brandon: He’s got a nice house, the respect of his friends and the community, and he has a LOT of passion. He’ll give your sister’s penniless husband a job, dramatically rescue you from a rainstorm, make sure his dead girlfriend’s daughter is happy and taken care of even after your ex fucks HER over too, and is all around a pretty decent guy. Just. Uh. Maybe, kinda, sorta, needs to go after women his own age and is probably with you because you remind him of his dead girlfriend. 5/10 with the wildly inappropriate age gap, 9/10 without it.

Mr. Wickham: Please don’t. He’s a thirsty bitch who lives for drama and you think he’s fun until you find out he tried to sleep with one teenage girl and is making eyes at your fifteen year old sister behind your back. Marry him (through the grace of mysterious benefactors, cause he ain’t marrying anyone unless he’s paid the right price) and get ready for a life of being surrounded by military men in the north of England while your husband tries to fuck everything that moves. Work that out somehow with him and you might actually be happy. 0/10.

Mr. Bingley: He is a softboi who will do literally anything his friends tell him to do. He is SUPER rich, and marrying him will throw your sister’s into the path of other rich men and he is REALLY into you, but get ready to be sucking up to his sisters for literally the rest of your life. Unless he can ship Miss Bingley off to live with Mrs. Hurst, have fun trying to wage a war of barely concealed insults over the breakfast table every morning, and if you’re marrying Bingley I’m sorry but that is a war you just cannot win. He doesn’t have a job but he does have five thousand a year, and neither of you can manage money. You’ll love simply and deeply and be happy as any two can be. 8/10.

Mr. Collins: Last resort to rescue yourself from a life of being a burden to your parents until they die and then having to become a governess or something. Has a job but never shuts up about his boss. You will have to rearrange everything in your house according to his boss’ will. 2/10

Mr. Darcy: Is a anxious disaster who doesn’t know how to talk to girls at parties and needs to learn how say no to going out when he’s just not feeling it. He doesn’t have a job because he’s a landlord; he owns half of Derbyshire and has ten thousand a year, but turns out that all of that money and land can’t buy tact or charisma. Doesn’t know how to flirt and thinks he’s doing a great job (he’s not). He’ll propose to you out of the fucking blue one day by insulting literally everything about you, but don’t worry! Reading his letter unlocks Darcy 2.0. This patched version gives him humility, a personality, and he WILL gain the ability to rescue your family from utter ruin. Marry him and enjoy a life of luxury and witty ripostes, but beware! You ARE going to have to deal with Lady Catherine until the day she dies, not to mention Caroline Bingley’s barely concealed contempt every time you meet in polite company. Darcy 1.0 3/10, Darcy 2.0 8/10.

Captain Wentworth: Absolutely top tier. Has a job, has earned everything he has, including a fortune and the respect of his peers, superiors, and subordinates. His sister and her husband are practically the only happily older married couple you know, his friends are super fun and nice (even the dour one with all the poetry knows how to have a polite conversation). If you dumped him ten years ago on the advice of your almost comically shitty family yeah, he’s going to hold a grudge, but he WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU and the MOMENT he gets over his pride will do everything and anything in his power (including leaping the bounds of propriety!) to win you back. Based on his love, money, and connections you should RUN, not walk, into his arms TODAY and allow him to rescue you from your family and whisk you off to see the world on his ship, at least until Napoleon busts out of Elba. 12/10

Mr. Eliot: Will lose all your old schoolfriend’s husband’s money in a bad deal, has debts out the ass, might be trying to get with either you or the woman your dad has been flirting with for the last few years, you’re not sure. Is totally ruining the rekindling relationship you’re trying to get going with your far superior ex. He wants the land and title your dad has and will stop at nothing to get it. Marry him and you can move back into your old house (maybe? it’s a little unclear what with all the debts) but have every single cent your mother left you immediately put into some dumbass scheme. 1/10

Henry Tilney: another softboi who just wants to act in the school play while his dad and brother plan to ship him off to military school and berate him for not joining the football team. Bring him shopping with you to pick out dresses, spend long nights over tea chatting about books. Has a job, but again, only because his dad owns the land the church is on. Loves you even though you have some very strange ideas about his house, and will forgive you when he realizes you thought his dad either murdered or imprisoned his mom. If he can find the courage to tell his dad to fuck off and let him live his own life, expect a long, happy marriage of snuggling together in a window seat somewhere, sipping tea and reading. 9/10

John Thorpe: Trash bastard man. Peaked in whatever equivalent of high school he had. Shitty and rude to everyone, would post racist memes on facebook and start fights if he could, all while being shitty and manipulative and CREEPILY possessive of you. -2/10

Robert Martin: A sweet himbo farmer who just wants to love and worship you. He has a job, is pretty rich, and while his connections may not be above his class, he’s an earnest boy who wants to take care of you and be taken care of in turn. Marry him the first time, absolutely do NOT let your friend influence you against him, because who KNOWS if you will get a second proposal! (You will, he likes you THAT much.) Marry him and enjoy a sweet, simple life of exactly zero drama (unless your friend is around). 7/10

Mr. Elton: Trifling gold digging trash who doesn’t know what the word no means. Do not marry, unless you want to be censured by decent, hardworking people -1/10

Frank Churchill: Knows how to have fun, but you know there’s something more going on. He won’t let you see his letters, he sends out secret notes, then he smiles and tells you that everything is totally a okay. Another boy with ANOTHER overbearing aunt, only this one doesn’t know how to say no. Marry him if you’ve got the money, but he will always be longing after the poor girl next door that auntie wouldn’t let him married, and would have cheated on you already if she was into it. 3/10

Mr. Knightly: He’s your brother in law and you’ve known him almost your whole life, so that’s a little sus, but he is also the ONLY person in your entire life who knows how to tell you no (and you really, REALLY need to be told no sometimes.) He is extremely wealthy, but more importantly he’s kind and caring about people who are considered “beneath” him. He will break his weird no dancing rule to dance with your shy friend, he will ream you out for being shitty to unwed spinsters who value your opinion, and somehow has the correct read on everyone all the time. You will gain no connections by marrying him, since the two of you already have the exact same connections anyway, but the two of you should be content in a test of wills that will last a lifetime. You’ll be very happy as long as he doesn’t get super pedantic and start correcting you about everything. 7/10

[phoebehalliwell]

but at the end of the day we're talking about the source of all evil and cole wasn't even at full power when he got possessed. if it had been belthazor maybe but cole's human life stood no chance. and i will never ever ever understand just how different of a treatment by the sisters he got for his body essentially being hijacked for months. like imagine the trauma imagine how violated he must have felt and then they were like here have some victim blaming!! like what the fuck even??

fr like phoebe has the source the size of a pinto bean in her and like went full on insane (granted, she was being fed "pure evil" by the seer, but like even w/o that she was still cray cray. it's also fully possible the seer had been dosing cole w the same juice, we don't know, at the very least, she was still like whispering in his ear 24/7, which does hella damage). it's just so weird to be that they decided to go forward with it. i also just this is off topic i don't like how they're like belthazor is different from cole and belthazor is a demon and cole had no responsibility in that and we need to separate them bc um. belthazor is really fun. and also really beefy. also we missed to opportunity to have one of those look at me babe this isn't you baby look at me phoebe kisses belthazor and as she kisses him he morphs back into cole move. they pass out candy on halloween and cole just does it as belthazor. like. that could have been fun.

actually extending this tangent i've said it before the moment they decided to do black as cole was the moment they decided to fuck cole over because what did that add to the narrative? exactly?? and making him human was a pussy ass move. like. literally to even to venture more into the demon world could have been an avenue like obvi we're killing the source of all evil so the underworld's gonna be in dissarray what's that even going to look like how is the underworld structure who's gonna vie for power next and how are they going to do it how will it break down demonic order cole was high up in demonic order how will those demons react will they seen an increase in attacks on innocents / witches as demons and warlocks and the like try to move to the front will we see some defect to the light side bc they wanna be on the winning side, be like cole, and if they do, can we trust them. is it the human half of cole that makes him able to love, or is it possible that demons are far more complex than the elders say. is it possible the elders are a negative power structure 👀👀

but i'm lost in the sauce. i just. i don't. it's like. it's like they wanted cole to be the villain. obvi. that's why he became the source. but they acknowledged that they had already come so far in his character development that that would make literally no sense Unless it was a possession type. And Yet!! we're still not meant to see cole as the victim here, from a narrative standpoint. like. the fifth halliwell, when he tortures paige. that is the narrative telling us he is evil. but at the same time, we see cole trying to fight the source, and then the story's like no yeah but that's actually not important look he's the bad guy he made phoebe queen of hell and now she's a bitch to her family that's cole's fault bc he's evil. it's just. it's so fucking weird. that they (the writers) never once stopped to consider what exactly the fuck was going on. i don't even think the girls found out it was a possession (tho theoretically they could have linked that by looking at phoebe's demon baby, which could literally gain motor control over her??) like. no one ever told them. cole never said it. i think they just thought he like. was a dick all of a sudden that he was evil and didn't love phoebe but was rather just obsessed with her. i guess. it's all so fucking weird man it's all so not good

[africanotaku92]

AUs List

Ok, wow. Y’all really liked my last Au post! Because of that, I now have enough confidence to post a list of all the dumb AUs me and my sisters, @baaaa-king and @omniithedeer, have come up with. If you’d like to enquire about any of these ideas, send me an ask!

Danny Phantom AUs.

1. An AU where Danny and Dani get adopted by a ghost family and gain 400 siblings and an Eldritch grandma.

2. Supernatural Delegations AU (a one shot of the same name is in progress.) Other supernatural/paranormal beings exists and commonly interact with each other. Ghosts have been out of contact since Pariah Dark’s reign, and when they hear about the new monarch (AKA Danny), things get wild.

3. Young Ancients AU. A forgotten ghost artifact is rediscovered, and all the ancients hold a meeting to decide who should have it in their possession. Pariah crashes the meeting and, in the scuffle, activates the artifact, de-aging everyone into their teens. Of course, they go to Danny for help. We have collectively decided that Pariah is British. No one has a say unless it's to confirm.

4. Addams Family Danny Phantom crossover where, after Danny’s powers are reviled and the whole Fenton’s A+ Parenting, Danny runs away. He ends up being found and adopted by Morticia and Gomez. Honestly disappointed no one has made this yet >:(

5. Ghost Royalty AU. Danny, Sam and Tucker are all royalty/nobility in the Zone (Undergrowth is less of an ass here, and formally adopts Sam in Urban Jungle instead of mind controlling her. You already know Danny and Tucks royalty qualifications. Also, I know this isn’t my AU specifically, but my sisters and I have a lot of prompts, so its here.)

BNHA AUs.

1. Isolation AU, inspired by Telescope by Cave Town. AFO is not Hisashi. Inko, Mitsuki and their husbands went to a fertility clinic to have children via IVF. The clinic is actually the fore front for quirk experimentations funded by AFO. Izuku and Katsuki are born from the clinic and taken away, while AFO administers a mind-altering quirk on them to make them believe their children are stillborn. They are then taken and raised in a facility with other children for 15 years before Aizawa comes and rescues them.

2. Gore Warning for this AU!!

Isolated Cannibals AU, Inspired by Animal Cannibal by Karen Skladany. Quirked Izuku AU, specifics below.

Izuku and Katsuki are kidnapped just before their quirks came in and given to the Doctor to perform experiments on them. Along with the quirks they were born with, they were given copies* of a quirk called Carnivore, which lets them digest any form of meat from any creature, and get more nutritional value from it. They can still eat fruits and Vegetables though. For 12 years, they were tortured, tested on, and used as “Disposal” for failed experiments and Nomu before they got rescued.

* Izuku’s quirk is called All for All. He can temporarily posses a quirk, make copies with either temporary or permanent features, and either bind them to himself or another person of his choosing. He can also get creative and merge two copies into one unique customized quirk. The strength of the copied quirk depends on his base quirk, so the more he practices, the stronger the copies. Holding too many quirks could affect his physical and mental health, along with possessing the original drawbacks of the copied quirks.

3. A crack AU where everyone from Class 1A + Monoma and Shinsou is related to the Addams family.

4. Homestuck crossover AU where Izuku has a tiny bit of Troll Ancestry in his bloodline and that makes him pupate when he’s 4 and in an ironic jackpot of the Troll Genetics Lottery, he pupates into a Fushcia blood Troll. This is not his actual Quirk though. His actual quirk is a mix of hydrokinesis and the ability to control sea life. Think of Percy Jackson’s demigod powers. He also has natural pheromones that allow him to control or manipulate anyone his Troll instincts think of as lesser both Humans and Trolls. I plan on making Alternia invade Earth. It happens a few weeks After the Kamino Arc.

Miscellaneous AUs.

1. Homestuck AU where there’s A mafia/syndicate organization called The Ophiuchus Collective that believes in blood equality and that rank should be dictated by hard work. The Signless helped the syndicate in the past and owe him the favour of taking care of his descendant. As they hate owing favours, once they found Karkat they do everything in their power to protect him and ascend him to the position of Heir to the Leader.

2. Smitten Kitten Eyes: Post reveal crack miraculous AU where after a mission Plagg reaches his daily cheese limit (so as to not eat his family into bankruptcy) and Adrien refuses to give him more. Because of this, the next time Adrien transforms, Plagg leave his Chat Noir eyes once everything is over. Now he must navigate life trying to explain to everyone who doesn’t know why he has Chat’s eyes. Marinette has a blast the entire time.

[harunayuuka2060]

Simeon: I'm not expecting that you would call for me, Diavolo.

Diavolo: It seems that I need your help in guiding a certain someone.

Simeon: Is it the new human exchange student?

Diavolo: Yes. If I'm not mistaken, you consider them as a "lost soul".

Simeon: Why would you want me to guide them? Is it an easier task if they're someone you can easily manipulate? *smirks*

Diavolo: *chuckles* You haven't met the human yet, Simeon.

Simeon: Ah, I bet they're just being problematic—

MC: This is bullshit.

Simeon and Diavolo: *stops*

Barbatos: MC, you will learn a lot from reading this book—

MC: Nuh-uh. Sir, I have learned a lot. Okay? Just by looking at every people I grew up to be with, from every people I walked by on the streets, and from every people who possessed power.

MC: Angels don't exist. They're just a creature with a body of a human and wings.

MC: Humans treat them as perfect beings, as a great example to follow with. But not me. So if I were you, Sir? Get that fucking book away from me or I'll shred it to pieces with my own fucking fingers and I'm not joking.

Barbatos: ...

Diavolo: *glances at Simeon* What do you think?

Simeon: *who is in complete shock* Why...

Diavolo: This human doesn't believe in the concept of angels and demons.

Diavolo: Barbatos and I have been trying to convince them that we exist and we play a major role in the existence of the world.

Diavolo: Unfortunately, MC has a perspective of their own.

Diavolo: Now, are you going to help me in guiding them?

Simeon: ...

Simeon: I will take this task.

Diavolo: *chuckles* Great.

-----------------------------------

Simeon: ...

Luke: Simeon? We have been waiting here for an hour now.

Luke: Who are you expecting to come?

Simeon: *sigh* The new human exchange student.

Luke: Why? Did they do something wrong to you?

Simeon: *confused* Why, Luke? Do you know them?

Luke: *nods* They're gaining bad reputation all over the school.

Luke: I haven't met them myself but I do not wish in knowing them.

Solomon: *knocks on the door* Simeon? *smiles* I found my comrade.

MC: "Comrade" my ass. You fucking dragged me here!

Simeon and Luke: ...

MC: *sees Simeon and Luke* *rolls eyes* Seriously? Another "powerful" being?

Simeon: *noticed how MC stressed out the word "powerful"* No, we're all equals here—

MC: Save me that crap later.

Simeon: ...

Luke: Hey! You're being disrespectful!

MC: *laughs* Of course I am. And I'm fully aware of it.

Solomon: MC, humans are nice—

MC: Not me, bitch. So let my arm go. *walks out*

Simeon: *falls to his knees*

Luke: Simeon-! Are you alright?!

Simeon: Yes, Luke ... I just got overwhelmed.

Solomon: ...

Solomon: I hope you're not bothered by them. MC is actually kind in nature.

Luke: You don't speak for them, Solomon! Their behavior is showing what kind of person they are!

Solomon: ...

Simeon: Luke, we shouldn't judge them.

Luke: But Simeon—

Simeon: *stands up* It's okay... I just need to have a conversation with them in private.