#who fucking knows if there’s hope for society

[transfemme-shelterdog]

TW: Heavy talk of sexual assault, rape, and suicide

The whole "trans women get killed and trans men get raped + detransitioned" thing infuriates me. Because first of all, this isn't the oppression Olympics. And second of all, do these people realize that trans men getting raped and detransitioned is also killing us? Survivors of sexual assault are already 10 times more likely to kill themselves. Pair that with it being "corrective" rape (one of the worst hate crimes, I'd argue) and that many of us would kill ourselves before letting them detransition us, and yeah, they're killing us. They're just not doing it outright because they hope they can get a use or two out of our wombs first.

I've already been sexually assaulted once. Maybe a few times if I count some weirdly sexual encounters with adults as a kid. I consider myself lucky that it wasn't full-blown rape. That didn't stop me from developing a phobia of sexual assault. And I do mean phobia. I'd say everyone fears sexual assault to some extent, but my fear is debilitating. I can't go outside alone, I can't date, I can't be anywhere with anyone unless I have someone at my side that I know 100% will fight to the death to protect me. So that leaves my father and my veteran step mother. That's it.

I've been told I'm paranoid and insane for this but I literally have homemade leather straps and buckles I wear over my underwear and genitalia to act as a final barrier against any assault. They're damn hard to get off in a rush or with just force. Hopefully it'll buy me time to fight back, should I ever have to.

"Just getting raped and detransitioned" is a fate worse than death to me and many others. And there's people out here acting like this is the good ending or an act of mercy. I'd take a lifetime of physical torture if it meant saving myself from being raped. And it wouldn't even be a hard choice or close decision. I'd make that choice as easily as breathing.

And please, genuinely, God forbid I get raped and impregnanted. I'm not religious, but I'll pray to God for this. The rape itself is already a death sentence. The pregnancy is just an added cruelty. I'd have to cut that thing out of me and dispose of it somehow before I died because I'm not being buried or cremated with someone's parasite inside me. Being buried under my deadname and as someone's daughter is cruel enough. I won't be buried as an unwilling mother.

"Trans women just get killed" also completely ignores all the trans women who have been raped for being a "sissy" or a "fag." Or just because men hate them.

Just. Sorry for all this. You don't have to post this. I know it's a heavy topic and I've been quite grim. But fuck, I'm scared. I'd rather they just kill me. It would be a mercy.

I'm really sorry to hear that OP. I hope you find someone that you're ok with being around, and being intimate with, if that's something you're wanting. I also wish you the best in your journey of healing and coming to terms with your phobia, I want only the best for you.

You're not paranoid or insane for taking precautions that make you feel more comfortable, that's never a bad thing. If it works for you, keep doing it.

It really is a shame that people assume that trans men can just abort the fetus, and that's over and done with, and there'll be no lingering damages physically or mentally. It's an incredibly ignorant and shallow take, and I'd agree that for trans men, being raped and impregnated is truly a fate worse than death.

Unfortunately, I doubt many people will see it the same way. Hell, afab cis women aren't even taken seriously most of the time, so you throw in transandrophobia in there, and you have even less of a chance of being taken seriously, and having your fears and feelings acknowledged by society. People forget that most women aren't taken seriously when they talk about fears and risks of SA, so what makes them think that a trans man/masc would be treated any better?

[painsandconfusion]

I’m not sure what hope there is for society if someone great at writing that also has a law degree is struggling to pay bills

1. I don’t have anything published yet, I just write for strangers on the internet for free, and 2. legal work stresses me the fuck out. I was doing alright anyway bartending instead but I had my appendix out so I haven’t been able to work in a month. But as a more constant, 3. Chronic illness is a bitch.

[ash-and-starlight]

“im glad that at least one of us has maternal instincts” zhu when i fucking get you >:(((

[k2ulhu]

hulu was doing live coverage of the election until 2:00am, at which point my power randomly went out and when I reopened the hulu app on my tv the election coverage was replaced with

[starry-eyer]

magic in asoiaf is genetic. and that is intresting. and the fact that grrm doesn’t shy away from the implications of this makes me love asoiaf even more.

because it’s very understandable that these people who could ride dragons would see themselves as more gods than men. it’s understandable that the practice of sibling-sibling incest would become common in order to keep this ability in the family/to not lose said ability. it’s also understandable that these people would see their race as superior because they are able to do these things that others could not.

it also makes complete sense that this human civilization collapsed in a horrific magical event due to their own hubris because they saw themselves as gods when they were always only men.

and that is peak world building.

some more peak world building is that the noble houses of westeros also clearly gained power and held onto their power through the use of their magical abilities inherited from their ancestors.

a godlike existence like Garth the Green being the ancestor of all the oldest and most noble of the reach houses makes perfect sense for this world!and it also makes sense that the lords without this ancestry are discriminated against in this region that still holds onto the values their society cultivated in the past in order to maintain their magical superiority, even though most of these noble and old houses no longer exhibit these abilities.

and it also makes sense that these people no longer have access to these abilities as they no longer practice the religion that was centered around these powers; plus their blood is simply diluted at this point as these houses have married into a different ethnic group so often that the magical gene just doesn’t surface anymore.

but the fact that it still matters if you can trace your ancestry back to Garth the Green? peak! peak! peak!

george does such an excellent job showcasing the stagnation of westerosi society here because why should it matter if you’re connected to this magic guy if magic is no longer commonplace? however, it also makes total sense that the ruling class of the reach still harps on and on about this as it’s how they maintain the status quo and differentiate themselves from those they consider lesser now that they no longer have access to magic themselves.

and this is also why it’s very important that the Starks still retain the blood of the first men. because the first men interbred with the children of the forest and other elder races, which is what gave these humans these powers. it’s also worth noting that before the direwolves connected with the Stark children, none of our current Starks were able to awaken their abilities by themselves, which shows that even now they are very far removed from their ancestor who’s genetic makeup gave this bloodline these abilities. and it makes sense that the Starks experienced this slow magical decline because magic itself was declining in the world after the doom of valyria.

another reason for this decline is because Andal culture started heavily influencing the North and slowly changed the way magic was perceived. so now in the present, a warg/skinchanger/greenseer has become something to fear being because that’d make you different and therefore puts your life at risk, which means that there’s now practically no safe environment to cultivate these abilities and no secure way to pass down any knowledge you do have about said abilities.

i can’t help but be reminded about how Jon Snow has rejected his nature and how that has led to the stagnation of his abilities, and then i think about Arya and Bran and how their new environments have led to an astonishing growth in their abilities, which shows that it’s not just genetics that matter, environment is also just as, if not more, important.

i bring all of this up because magic being genetic in asoiaf is not as problematic as people try to make it out as. in real life, sometimes people just have genetic gifts. some people can become olympians, and some people are disabled. some people are born 10 times smarter than the average human, and some people believe that covering their faces in lemon juice would turn them invisible. that is reality. and in this universe, some people have access to magic and some don’t, and it’s all based on genetics. it’s unfair! and that makes it realistic.

not everyone gets to ride dragons and not everyone gets to travel back in time, and that grounds asoiaf, which is what grrm was going for.

and how these societies have organized themselves in response to these genetic abilities and the dangers they pose makes absolute sense. on one hand we have the valyrian freehold, which was a magic hotspot and the people who lived there used magic to propel their society to new heights, and on the other hand we have the seven kingdoms that demonize anyone too different, and all magic practitioners are different from normal humans.

and the fact that george decided to go this route with asoiaf is so juicy to me cause:

we have characters like Varamyr and Euron who use their abilities to commit great evils and we know that their powers have influenced the way they see and interact with others. on the other hand we have characters like Dany who use their abilities to fight against evil violent institutions. and through characters like her we learn how vulnerable fledgling magic practitioners/characters with these abilities are to these older and more dangerous institutions and individuals who are perfectly aware about the knowledge gap between them and these younger characters and know exactly how to exploit them.

so, while it’s understandable that the fandom is uncomfy with the practices and values that grrm has written about, this isn’t bad world building by any means. it’s logical and well thought out. and i truly enjoy that grrm doesn’t shy away from writing about the more worrying aspects and implications of magic being a matter of genetics. i also like how the seven kingdoms and the valyrian freehold are kinda extremes on the matter of magic and how this is/was detrimental to both of these societies and at the individual level. a horrific magical firey doom is not any better nor any worse than a slow drawn out icey decline.

imo, what is important to remember is that in the world of asoiaf, people with magic are the ones who are discriminated against (bc most POV characters are in Westeros and magic is a no no there). so they are the ones who are in danger if they out themselves as magic users. now, it is true that some societies are more tolerant (Qarth is a great example of this and Valyria before the doom was likely the most tolerant to have ever existed in this world), but as of now most societies simply aren’t. remember jojens warning? he didn’t pull that out of his ass. bran would’ve been in a lot of danger if he came out and told the wrong people about his dreams/abilities. also, jon’s assassination may have been partly motivated by the mutineers fear of wargs. this is the life-threatening danger magic practitioners are in for simply existing in an intolerant society.

tbh the reason i typed all this up is because it’s very annoying when people try to ignore the reality, which is that the dragonbond depends on genetics. now, i’m sure there are other ways to ride a dragon, as dragons are magical animals so of course there may be a one in a million chance of a dragon allowing some rando to ride it, but this doesn’t change the fact that there is such a thing as a genetic ability that gives these certain humans the ability to form a connection with a dragon.

(another example that i can’t help but remember is that melisandre was able to get ghosts approval by using some of her tricks. of course there could be other reasons for ghost to have done this, but the most likely reason is that ghost simply fell for melisandre’s trick and this influenced how jon saw mel. but this doesn’t change the fact that melisandre will never have the kind of bond jon and ghost have because melisandre is not a warg. this is also another example of how vulnerable fledgling magic practitioners are to older ones.)

so, sorry not sorry that george decided to create a realistic representation of what a society would look like if only certain bloodlines were able to ride dragons <\3.

[brandwhorestarscream]

Sooo mini-rant in the tags lmfao. Dont look if you dont wanna read about current events lol

[tautozhone]

can argue to death with me about how age restrictions on youtube are necessary but i will be DAMNED before i say Hinds Hall deserved to be age restricted. average american child on youtube can listen to H*rbu D*rbu (censoring in hopes to avoid algorithm engagement with the song) which is IOF praising genocidal propaganda, and- big fucking shocker- its not age restricted. i’m 100% sure the only reason Hind’s Hall was restricted was to deliberately suppress and avoid the spread of the song.

[semiotomatics]

lol. i think ive reached my limit.

[starboy-ships]

Reading a piece about hope and social justice for a class and now my head is swimming with Cronus Ampora characterization thoughts because uh... HOPE 🤭

"The idea that hope alone will transform the world... is an excellent route to hopelessness, pessimism, and fatalism." <- This... THIS... I know this is just me making things up because I have no canon evidence but- BUT- Cronus during his youth perhaps wanting to make a better world but being complacent and just hoping things will be better without taking tangible steps... he leans into wizardry and convinces himself that this will right all the wrongs... so when he discovers wizardry is fake he has nothing left... if that isn't going to fix everything... if he can't fix everything with the wave of a wand and a bit of hope... then how can anything be fixed at all?

He's all talk and no action. He might believe some of the things he says... loosely... but he is too afraid of having to work and deconstruct and struggle so he just gives up over and over and over again. He buys into things for a fix and when it doesn't solve all of his issues in one fell swoop he assumes it's fake- it's broken- it's pointless without understanding change takes time and things need patience and work to be achieved.

We see him make attempts at being a better person to make people like him more, but he drops these attempts as soon as he starts them because people don't immediately like him or accept him or change their minds about him. He understands that being less classist is considered a likeable trait but when he tries to act less classist (without actually committing to this goal) people see right through him and (knowing his patterns of behavior) don't trust him. So he assumes this strategy is bullshit and switches tactics. He doesn't understand that he can't just make surface level changes to rearrange his entire life he just assumes (or dare I say he... hopes) that the basic change will wipe the slate clean.

Like... someone please say any of this makes sense...

HE JUST PLACES ALL HIS EGGS IN BASKETS MADE OF HYPOTHETICALS AND THEN GETS FRUSTRATED AND BITTER WHEN IT TURNS OUT YOU CAN'T RESOLVE EVERYTHING THROUGH SHEER HOPE AND FANTASY!!!

Cronus COULD be a parallel for Feferi but NO ONE sees this vision but me. <- (words of a guy who is off the deep end)

@adiosterror <- tagging you because i need someone to hear me and pretend that what im saying makes sense at all

[embers-of-the-league]

FINALLY SEEING SPINNER AGAIN AFTER EVERYTHING THAT WENT DOWN!!

ALso, way to leave us with another cliffhanger. Now the big question is who is here to see him? The most boring option would be just some cop or investigator or something I think hoping that it somehow's gonna be another league member is asking too much unfortunately... he's in the care of the hero's now, there would be no way.. I honestly think it's going to be Midoriya. And I want that. I want them to talk. I want Midoriya to give Spinner the last message from Tomura. And I want Spinner to react in a way that makes Midoriya really think about what he has done. How he didn't save the man who so desperately needed help

[rosicheeks]

😂

[pa-pa-plasma]

& by that she means "stop talking about transphobia as if it effects anyone but women." to be clear. the "growing up" is just staying quiet & invisible, & anything less is transmisogyny. of course.

[blood-ology]

Will literally never recover from the way that friends irreversibly change each other

[guiltyonsundays]

Incredible sequence of posts on the dash just now

[aimlesswalker]

This reddit post has the comments locked now but it and all the responses rubbed me the wrong way so here’s a PSA that all cis people need to be aware of. (cw for frank discussion of genitals)

So first, I think it’s INCREDIBLY WEIRD that cis people automatically assume that if someone is trans, they have the genital set up associated with their assigned gender. Like bottom surgery exists and a fair number of people get it. Not everyone who was assigned male at birth has a penis. Like. Why is that so hard to understand? And bottom surgery has some great results nowadays. Sometimes you can’t tell it’s surgery by looking at it and sometimes you can and both are ok. This isn’t even touching on intersex people who might have genitals not typically associated with their assigned gender or they may have had a non applicable gender assigned to them at birth. I’m really tired of the bioessentialism. Not all trans women are women with penises and not all trans men are men with vulvas. Not all people who were assigned female at birth currently have a vulva and not all people who were assigned male at birth currently have a penis. It’s incredibly arrogant to assume otherwise. If you do have a genital preference then tell the person ahead of time so they can bail or get to know them first like an actual person.

but SECONDLY, trans genitals (on HRT) are completely different from cis genitals even if the basic anatomy is the same. Hormones are incredibly powerful stuff. Like dicks on estrogen have a completely different mouth feel, vulvas on testosterone have a larger clitoris/little dick. And hormones will also change the smell of the genitals. It’s definitely noticeable. Also the fluids produced during sex will have a different taste and/or texture. HRT changes the entire experience. Usually the people with a genital preference have these expectations that trans genitals are exactly like cis genitals and that’s the ENTIRE problem behind having said preference. It’s a completely different experience. You might be pleasantly surprised because regardless of whether she has a vulva or a penis, you’re still going to be having sex with a woman. Having sex with a trans women who has a penis is a very different experience than having sex with a cis man who has a penis. Trans women are still women, not a different species, not something halfway between man and woman. And trans men are still men, they’re not something between man and woman either.

Most of the time having a genital preference is rooted in (socially accepted) bioessentialism and cis people need to do some deep thinking about why they have such a preference. If after some reflection and research they still have a preference then fine! that’s perfectly ok. But this is a subtle form of transphobia that people should be more conscientious of.

[rabbithaver]

listen i will always support the idea that being mean to complete strangers based on their appearance is bad actually.

like yeah the patriarchy sucks and should totally be dismantled! but how the fuck is being an asshole to individual people because of a trait they can't help going to like... do that? you don't know shit about kevin on the street corner. you have no idea if he's a feminist or not. all you know about kevin is that he fits your definition of what a man looks like.

frankly i think there's a lot of "leftists" out there who just want there to be a group it's okay to lash out at because they're scared