#white silence

[readyforevolution]

[natia-zarandia]

Another serene winter evening illu

🌨️

#myart

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

[cogbreath]

i think a major thing in regards to kink and racial aspects and dynamics is the fact that white people particularly are used to their every desire and comfort and pleasure being prioritised whether they are consciously aware of it or not.... like unfortunately the situation is that most of them believe that kink exists in some sort of bubble.

for example many would not think twice about the implications of wanting to have "taking bbc" be a necessary part of their personal humiliation or transformation or degradation kink. they already live under conditions where they have to put in active effort to be anti-racist. so ofc it never occurs to them that perhaps maybe we are asking them to think critically about the origins of their kinks and why the dynamic might be dubious if not outright racist.

to them its a matter of kink shaming because white pleasure and white comfort comes before respecting black people as humans. this is the way society has functioned for centuries. so of course why would they ever think that there might be more behind the fact that they enjoy raceplay fantasies? because to them its just that, a fantasy. they have never had to question why or how that came be.

Seriously, i implore you to all really really think critically about the way you think about black people sexually, how you want to treat your black partners, and if that may have implications or backgrounds to it that you don't recognize. you need to understand that there are very real reasons behind the fact that we want you to question why it sexually pleasures you to have racial power over us. its not at all the same as for example someone thinking its immoral or repulsive to enjoy kinky sex. we are literally just wanting you to recognise that our people have a history of sexual abuse tied with our history of racial abuse.

like if you have a kinky dynamic with a black partner, are you taking care to consider the implications of why they might not be okay *at all* with being referred to as your slave sexually regardless of the way you intend it? or being whipped? For reasons outside of the fact it doesn't turn us on, but rather that its something that for us, for our people, are things that were used to abuse us?

are you taking care to educate yourself about the history of sexual abuse in racism and slavery? do you actually know that cuckolding has racist roots? have you researched that? do you know how our people were and have been exploited and abused sexually throughout history not just with slavery but minstrely and so on? Did you ever take pause to think about the history that may lie behind raceplay and how maybe, just maybe; that us finding an issue with that kink is not us shaming anyone or trying to suppress anyone's sexuality?

learn to understand *why* we have every right to not feel okay with the fact people get off to the racial abuse and exploitation and dehumanizing of us, regardless of if its just "fantasy" or "roleplay". think about why your first reaction is to claim that your sexual freedom is being stifled, why you think your right to pleasure comes before our right to NOT be treated like this and to NOT view you as a safe person to be around for openly and proudly getting off to it.

[anne-is-confused]

hear me, o patroness of girlstrugglers

[jngsite]

͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏𝗂𝖿 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝗒𝗈𝗎 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗉 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝗆𝖾 ͏ ͏ ͏ ( ͏ ͏ ͏𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗉 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝗆𝖾 ͏ ͏ ͏) ͏ ͏ ͏𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗇

͏ ͏ ͏𝗂'𝗅𝗅 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝗄𝖾𝖾𝗉 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝖿𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝖻𝗎𝗍 ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝗒𝗈𝗎

͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎

[samthechaotic]

I leave the batfandom for A WEEK then come back and find out that not only jason todd is dead AGAIN but *checks notes* he died an EMBARRASSING death??? and *checks notes* HE'S ALIVE???

[inkskinned]

there's this video you've probably seen already where a woman is shaking in front of a microphone and delicately tries to ask - how can i make my husband listen to me, i've tried everything, i don't want to seem ungrateful and the other man laughs - the problem is that you married a man, we're only listening 25% of the time and we only understand 5% of that! and the audience laughs and the woman laughs and you just sat there, phone in your hand, letting the sound of it echo

and the thing is that people make think-pieces about it (isn't this one of them) and satire versions and "flipping the script" which is good and fun but at the end of the day, there's some truth in that man's response about men-not-listening. and you have tried to language that feeling for years, this sense that you can only take up 33% of a conversation before others view it as being "dominating".

it's not that they aren't listening, it's that the action they're taking is purposefully silencing. it's different. you accidentally-don't-listen a lot; just because the world is loud and you're distracted. you don't mean anything by it. and the truth is that the man who spoke is relying on that to be true of you; the way it's true of everyone. but there is a different undertone to his kind of not-listening. what he means is they don't respect you and you shouldn't expect them to. there is a difference between oh shit i forgot to take the trash out and why didn't you remind me to do it, just like there is a difference between i didn't realize you wanted to go out this weekend and why do you expect me to plan things why can't you just tell me where we're going.

and the thing is that it isn't just him, and it's actually not just because of your gender - your skin, your class status, your weight, their ableism - it happens often. so often it feels like a tightness around your throat and a weight in your stomach. you're not even "really" allowed to be upset about it, because to them it's a joke. and they laugh. and you know exactly the amount of work that goes into every conversation. how you have to work to condense down your thoughts into intelligent, crisp soundbites; worried someone will try to swoop in and cut you off. and there's this sense from everyone else - oh stop being so sensitive, are you really upset just because they weren't listening and you don't know how to say the way that feels when it happens constantly.

there's that video of the science summit where a woman in the audience finally says let her speak please! and the whole crowd bursts into applause and the man leading the summit holds up his hands and bows his head and says oops, sorry! like what he did was awkward and embarrassing, a little social gaffe that happens easily. later in your meetings, you're asked to take notes, and you don't say anything, you just hear let her speak please! ringing in your head and know that you'll never be brave enough for that kind of thing. and besides. think of all the people who agree this was a one-off, he just got excited and all of the people who say one man is not indicative of all of society

at the dinner table you're talking about someone you don't like and how he's not good to his girlfriend and how she always has to remind him to put the effort in and before him, she was glowing with curiosity and passion but now she just seems... tired, unhappy. that he likes the way she burns out; she stays home and takes care of him and their 2 kids. and your father sniffs and says that men take a while to learn those kinds of things. and you just stare at him and think about your childhood and are like - no wonder i turned out like this

and you want to say - there's no fucking secret school or mystic form of communication. i was not sent to Rearing a Child University. i did not graduate from Getting Chores Done College. i ask questions and i listen and i pay attention, because that's basic fucking human decency. it stems from respect, and how i respect others and their agency. i clean the house because someone should clean. not because it comes "naturally".

hell, you had to google "how to boil an egg" the other day, just because you usually make them scrambled. you can never remember which of the 2 bathroom cleaners make chlorine gas, only that two of them definitely do. you've accidentally bleached your clothes. it took you like 3 years of self-teaching before you figured out how to actually cook things correctly - for that whole time, you burnt or undercooked everything. but you did teach yourself; just like you taught yourself how to listen with empathy. just like how you taught yourself to think before you speak. to be kind first, to be better at communicating. it seemed like a good thing, an adult thing.

the joke the man in the video makes is that women say i'm fine! when they are not fine. and you think about the 150 conversations that happened around that; about how she probably has had so many arguments with her husband. how she said i'm upset you don't take me anywhere and he got mad at her because of course i do, you made me go to that stupid restaurant like last week and she probably said that's not what i'm saying and he said now i'm supposed to be psychic or something and she said no of course not and he said how am i supposed to know what to do when you don't even like everything and she said i do like things and he said well how am i supposed to win? and her pastor probably told her to be more grateful because they do things at all, even if she has to plan them and her mom probably told her that's just how men are honey and she probably cried over her journal, trying to figure out why the fuck she "has everything" and is still so bitterly, horribly unhappy

and how, in your life, for so many reasons, you looked down the barrel of another argument; of explaining yourself and being vulnerable and begging for help again. how many times you just said i'm fine because it was better than doing that again; it was better than wringing yourself out when it's literally easier to just pretend. because he wasn't going to listen. your father wasn't going to be better and your boyfriend wasn't going to be better and your boss wasn't going to be more respectful.

and you sit in front of a video of a woman shaking, looking horrible and guilt-wrought that she's even asking this question. and you know; deep in your heart - that's you. in a different life, you are her. you've stood in her spot. and you had to listen while someone else cackled - why would we bother to notice when you talk?

[leahthedreamer]

Over 1000 people murdered because Israel bombed a HOSPITAL and proceeded to defend it by first lying and saying it was a Hamas misfire and then secondly outright admitting that they told them to evacuate then continued to destroy it anyway yet the media and stupid fucks online will insist this is a “war on both sides.”

[ourtubahero-blog]

Michael during that interview on The One Show. You could tell he wanted to say something else, but had his hands tied.

[dani-dabbles]

He’s tougher than he looks.

[leftinimaginationemily]

I made some tiny books 📚

[natia-zarandia]

Recent Chilly winter illu

🌨️

[skadario]

a r c h e s

[nobeerreviews]

Drifting across the vast space, silent except for wind and footsteps, I felt uncluttered and unhurried for the first time in a while, already on desert time.

-- Rebecca Solnit

(the French Alps)

[ultimateinferno]

Or if they do, they're certainly not drawing it.