#white privilege 2
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a development team that looks like this could not possibly have any preconceived biases against Black people. noooo way. its just a mistake that all of the Black people in fo4 are slaves or named after fascist colonizers or murdered or stereotypical conspiracy freaks. there is no way that the reality of this team is reflected in the art they create over and over and over and over and over and over and
[ID 1: A photo of the Fallout 4 development team taken from above and forward, showing a large crowd smiling at the camera, made up apparently entirely by white people, and almost entirely by white men. End ID.]
#im sorry i cant fucking deal with this shit anymore#genuinely if youre white/nonblack and think that you can excuse the shit this team has done to Black characters with fanfiction ass excuses#i think 1: you should unfollow and 2: you should maybe fucking get more Black peopel in your life#but then again i wouldnt want to put them through that because its not our fucking job to make you realize that racialized violence in medi#made by white creators cannot be uncritically examined. that is Dangerous#and it is a privilege and a huge one at that to believe that fiction is a bubble outside of reality
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tristamp post-timeskip woowoo!! injecting him with cowboy swag baybiee
also, a little bit of a redraw
#trigun#trigun stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#eriks#my art#finally rendered the concept sketches i did months ago#eriks with his scary dog privileges#im ignoring the hair they gave eriks in tristamp. plz pretend he still has his precious airvents<3#whats more intimate than a man shaving another man's face#if you can tell what reference i used for that doodle then props to you#or im sorry idk#anyways overdressed bitch looking for missing boyfriend#wearing all those layers on a desert planet with 2 suns must cook him alive#woowoo design inspired by my favourite big hat man D <3#damn look at my priest!! gurl im not seeing the pearly white gates#raepliica_art
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Some of you only think of transmasculines as skinny and/or white and GOD it fucking shows.
#butchy babbles#trans ftm#trans man#transmasc#trans masc#transmasculine#trans masculine#transman#trans guy#tboy#t boy#transgender#trans#transgender man#speaking as a fat white trans man here. very frequently ya'll conflate transmasc experiences with skinniness or think that-#-all of us can bind perfectly so that our chests are practically invisible#and HAH.#as fucking if#not to mention all these trans men who think that trans men can 1. pass easier and 2. passing = privileged are SO FUCKING WHITE.#tell me with a straight face that you seriously aren't listening to all these black trans men talk about how much more dangerous it is for-#-them to be in public now because they're viewed as a trans man AND STILL SAY you think trans men have privilege#shut the fuck up
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Consulted with a new therapist as our old one is quitting.
I sincerely don't want to go through this again. This will be my 5th therapist since moving to MN.
I'm tired of the endless cycle of
"6-12 months of info gathering and stabilizing" > "1-3 months of trauma processing" > "Have a massive reaction in session and regress" > "Suicidal ideation and negative symptoms flair up" > "Therapist gets scared to continue because they don't want to trigger ideation" > "Frustration brews between me and therapist" > "One of us quits on the other" > "Find a new therapist and start again"
Honestly? I'm tired. She volunteered that we could just deal with present issues of *checks notes* "Transgender people being politically and physically targeted by bigots during an endless pandemic" but why I'm in therapy is so that I stop living my life like I'm about to experience homelessness again or lose all my relationships in a heartbeat.
I barely go outside, I'm scared of people and have withdrawn so much of my life into a hard little shell that honestly it can hardly be called a life at all.
As much progress as we've made with our trauma triggers and our DID, we're WAY worse socially than we were when we were a closeted husk of a being pretending to be a guy. Blame the pandemic and the politics if you like but we're barely functioning and a decade plus of therapy has just made us hate ourselves for it less than we would otherwise.
It's so tempting to quit and pocket the money for the upcoming storms...
But to her credit when we mentioned our worries that DID in treatment looks fake because we have our symptoms managed she volunteered "You mean the McLean Hospital stuff", referring to a lecture given by the hospital a couple years ago about the "trend" of DID clients and how to differentiate real from "fake". That and assuring that she does not lead with an fusion model (she used the word "integration") helps me give a base level of trust.
But fuck I'm tired of being in stabilization forever.
#camden posting#did#personal#watch me post my trauma in public#this ignores the paranoid thinking too#worried our old therapist quit because we kept on acknowledging that as upset as we were about our vulnerability as transgender#we come from a privileged angle of someone who experienced safety from systemic prejudice#she once asked me if her racial identity was a barrier to therapy#and I worry that she paired me up with Generic White Woman to avoid that#not realizing that we swore to ourselves 2 years ago that we'd never seek out another cis white woman for a therapist ever again
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it's so telling when someone says radical feminism is "white woman shit" and you bring up the fact that in many places such as africa or asia, the only feminism that prominently exists is radical feminism, and for those places it's just considered regular feminism that you get told those women live in places that aren't progressive enough for them to understand their actions properly. to say these women are too dumb to realize that their beliefs are "bad" simply because they don't align with western mainstream liberal feminism is rooted in xenophobia and racism, not to mention a lack of understanding of the struggles and violence women from these countries regularly go through, which can range anywhere from fgm to men rubbing and wiping their cum on the back of women's clothes in trains. but of course, as usual, there's no intelligent response to this so you just end up getting blocked or get rape wished on you.
#my grandma was born and raised in south sudan she considers herself a feminist and her beliefs#along with all of the women she knows believe in what radfems believe in#being against things like surrogacy forced marriage harmful sex culture misogyny male violence and femicide#i live in a primarily hispanic/black area and literally the only people who try to push gender shit on us is white people#and if you say you don't believe in all that you get called an ignorant white supremacist#white people put the mirror down when you're calling non white people white supremacists#anyway today's rant is brought to you by a white guy who told me (a non white darkskin child of 2 immigrants)#that of course i didn't understand gender politics because i'm too privileged#and then went on to say women in south korea aren't 'booksmart' enough to realize their corset movement is a 'terf' movement.....#my mom always tells me do not engage with white people who want to play devil's advocate with race based matters#and yet here i am doing it again lol#/rambling
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Sitting outside a grocery store waiting for my ride I saw 6 people wearing masks.
Five of them were Black.
The 6th was visibly queer.
Fellow white people, this should embarrass y'all. Step it up.
#mask up#sars cov 2#covid 19#still coviding#community care#white privilege#disability pride month#disability
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why are all of my based on your likes! posts speculating about famous lesbians not really being lesbians? i checked my likes, theres nothing in there. you all need to stop being fucking weird about lesbians tho. especially lesbians who have dated/fucked men in the past. you look like a toddler with your gold stars.
#charlie.txt#tw lesbophobia#by a lot of posts that means 2 but it has been within the same 24 hours and it was about two different women so that feels like a trend i do#or at the very least the start of a trend that i dont want to be a part of or privy to#chapelle roan has slept with men? lgbtq+ rights are in the line of fire in like. every country. and your biggest concern is chapelle roan#fucking men???????#and for the record i find chapelle roan super annoying and i dont like her music and im saying that so you know im not white knighting my#fav here. im saying that regardless of who it is and regardless of whether or not you like them speculating on someones sexuality is#super fucking weird. SUPER fucking weird.#and even if you were 100% absolutely correct that someone is using a label for support -- an INSANE and tone deaf take that i can only#assume is being made by the most privileged fucks in this shitshow of a community who are stuck in their own little bubble where ppl#loooooove The Queers and thatd SOMEHOW make you More Popular In Society --#EVEN IF YOU WERE CORRECT THIS ONE TIME#YOU WERE STILL SUPER WEIRD FOR HAVING DONE ALL OF THAT.#BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY#YOUR BASIC CIVIL RIGHTS ARE BEING THREATENED. AND YOUR BIGGEST CONCERN IS THAT SOMEONE IS PRETENDING TO BE GAY TO SELL MORE T SHIRTS.
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datacore headcanons cause im looking way too deep into titans
posting some headcannons here cause why not! this is all from my notes app so sorry it reads like im deranged (i am) (its way crazier in the og notes version but i cut it down and added grammar so its actually readable)
rambling is under the break
Ok, so VANGUARD (I originally thought all, my bad its 12am. It's not all it's only special titans) titans have ONE data core, BUT if you’re cool and epic enough to be a high ranking pilot you’ll get a limited amount of backup cores in case your titan’s core is lost.
I also think that data cores are SUPER sturdy, so even if your titan goes KABLOOEYHHGKJHFGHFJHGJFG in battle you can just go to the wreckage, grab the data core and wait for your titan to drop so you can put it back in or a ground team with take it from the wreckage and put it in for you before titanfall
Going back to backups, the “backup” cores are constantly updating and receiving data from the data core currently installed, so if the titan loses their data core they won’t be set back x amount of time memory-wise when their new one is installed
That being said, backup cores take a LOT of energy and resources to keep functional, so there are very few pilots who get them and a very limited amount per pilot can be active at a time (like only up to 2-3 if you’re very lucky and the militia thinks you’re worth it, but most pilots are good at and try to keep both themselves and their titans alive anyway)
Datacore data can be transferred to an inactive but functional core IF the receiving core matches the model of the previous titan AND its in good enough shape, which there aren’t a lot of good data core just laying around without use (i imagine wants the militia to have as many cool powerful titans up as reasonably possible)
(thank you reddit for correcting me on a lot of stuff) (kendrick voice) what up reddit)
yeah if it wasnt clear most of this is canon-based headcanons so dont take this too serious i just want to have fun
#titanfall 2#cloud posts about big robots#ooooh it would be so funny if i tagged this as tf2#im not WRONG....#anyway thats enough for tonight#literally no one cares about this but i might as well post#cant believe i got into a fps game#my friend said now im like a closeted privileged white boy#titanfall
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a lot of the media I grew up with always said to never trust politicians and to never trust police, I grew up hearing up from families teachers etc. is it not a common statement?
#ik a lot of people wanna turn their brains off when Kamala wins but there’s still so much work to do#I see a lot of naivety everywhere that’s like ‘when kamala wins we never have to worry about trump again!’ and it’s like it’s not just trump#we are 1) usamericans so we are thriving off of multiple genocides and forcibly using our military to fuck over other countries#2) this culture war has gotten so many people murdered and no matter who wins. people are going to die.#3) as this and the last few elections have shown (all of them really) this nation is literally run on white supremacy and they’re not afraid#to show it#we need to arm ourselves especially the most vunerable#or at least those who have more privilege to do so need to start and we work our way down#this is fucking crazy man
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#im only 2 mins into the jubilee is being fat a choice middle ground vid#and so many thoughts are going thru my mind rn#(im gonna watch the rest and see if they touch on these topics)#but i have such a problem when white people talk about weight#or people of a higher class (which surprise surprise is mostly white ppl because of white privilege and socioeconomics)#like#theres genetics involved: ex. south asians ancestors going thru a famine affects how they gain weight in present day#theres economic issues involved: someone might not have the resources to eat healthily or be able to exercise like go to the gym or ->#take time off work or from family to take time for themselves and go on walks for example#things like this and more (which i cant remember atm and its gonna bother me asjdklasd)#but ya god it makes me so angry#and ppl saying its a choice like girl..... pcos exists. trauma exists. and you cant say its the ppl u surround urself with when ->#south asian culture literally pushes weight issues down ur throat every day of ur life#and gives u eating disorders without you or ur family even realizing#jfc#and for some reason i cant stop thinking about gwyneth paltrows diet asdhkjaldsd#mehrtalks#fatphobia
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Dear Brynlee,
With great detachment and shame I have just realized a moment ago that beside Dainsleif, I know not of any others that you may favour from the Genshin Universe. Lord Ayato, perhaps? I wouldn't be so sure about him; regardless I hope you would answer my question and forgive my impudence for having delayed this for so long.
With Love,
Chryseis Valois. [ik. this is only needed for anons. i just wanted a cool name😂]
Dearest Chryseis,
Please don't ask for forgiveness nor should you feel shame, especially since you do have it right. The only man I care most deeply in that universe was the boughkeeper.
He reminds me of His Majesty, King Dimitri. I've always entertained the notion that if the latter and I were born in a more equal societal footing, we might end up as partners in knighthood. I think somewhere out in that alternate realm, "Dainsleif" and my counterpart had committed to achieving that dream. In addition, he and I are currently working together on a project— and I believe Dainsleif does find my face familiar prior to our meeting.
Lord Kamisato? Well... He... literally sounds a lot like Dimitri. I've heard his voice. I had the privilege to talk to one of his versions several times when the soul was misplaced. I quite like him. As for finding a semblance of romantic attraction towards him, that's another complicated matter. I don't believe I am as fond of him as Dainsleif. But I can't be too sure...
I suppose if we're talking about admiration, "Duke" Wriothesley and architect Kaveh have their charms. The duke is quite the smooth talker and has the suaveness to pull it off. Meanwhile Kaveh has a certain "relatability" factor fellow artists would nod at. Do I find myself sparking a romantic attraction for either men? Unlikely.
This is likely such a disappointing answer. As much as I liked traversing Teyvat, I doubt I'd find my soulmate there. It's similar to looking at a restaurant's menu, appreciating its variety, but has no intent in placing an order. That... Probably sounds ridiculous.
All my love,
- Brynlee <3
#I keep making English voice actor references im sorry that's how i mostly judge who to pull HAHAHHA#Ayato and wrio gets privileges for sharing the same voice as dimitri and claude i do not make the rules-#Heizou and I would be like pancakes and waffles- too much for one breakfast and will probably spark a deranged debate between friends in#A fun way /silly#$ support conversations#$ a support = cherry#Looking back... Huh... Yeah... Why don't I have actual genshin crushes HAHAHAH#I played that game like an adoption simulator. Childe turned from husband to my sweet boyfailure son#I was just going around adopting grown men and women HAHAHAHA#Also feel free to have dope names that last name is cool as heck#I can list my genshin besties (literally all white haired red eyed characters are my family such as kazu razor ning itto cyno qiqi-)#and my enemies (ayat-) *cough* alhaitham and.... Uh Alhaitham^2 /j. But crushes... I have zero clue#My absolute girl bestie would be faruzan kokomi and dehya too tho like wed be unstoppable HAHAHAH
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"was there a reason you didn't cancel this" honestly I thought I had so no there wasn't a reason but also if clients are going to have Your personal number and reach out to You about canceling (when they Should be reaching out via email per our cancelation policy) then You should be canceling the appt anyway imo. all the other trainers cancel their appointments AND add their appointments to the system 🤪
#noah.txt#also I do realize my annoyance is unwarranted but also I'm sosososo tired of this job#she's thinking about closing down for a month for renos and she's not going to pay anyone for that month#and she's not sure if she's going to set it up where we can file unemployment or if she's going to#make us be freelancers under the company name#also she booked an appt but didn't put it in the system and didnt Tell Me and someone put in a booking request for that day/time#and it's frustrating b/c the whole reason she wanted clients to be able to book via the online portal is to#make my job easier/more automated but it's not easier when I'm having to email 5 clients because she cant be fucked to learn the system#then I'm talking to a coworker about how my doctor said I need to get my stress down#and she has the AUDACITY to ask me if she's contributing to the stress#like... yeah you're like the primary stressor in my life because I got hired for an hourly position 2 years ago#yet you treat me like I'm a salary employee who is supposed to be on call#and yeah it's frustrating and stressful to feel like I can never fully relax b/c you might need something#and it's even more frustrating when the things she needs she'll call me about. I won't answer b/c I'm busy#then I'll call her back and she'll be like ''oh I looked for it after I got voicemail''#okay so you don't THINK to do a little investigating before calling me during my time off?#very funny to me that I've been in a therapy session talking about her and she will call me (I do not answer)#my job was not and is not to be a personal assistant yet that is the position I've been forced into#and quite frankly I do not get paid enough to deal with being a personal assistant to#an immature people pleasing 34 year old woman who lacks basic empathy and doesn't give a shit about her employees#like I wanted to like her! I want to like her! she's gay and Jewish! but she also stinks of white rich kid privilege#also she's having a baby with her wife and this is a baby she actively does not want and a baby they're having to fix their marriage#which is a very tough thing for me to watch from the sidelines#she also is always picking apart peoples appearances and shes also told me she would probably leave her wife if she grew her hair out#anyway there's a lot more on a personal and professional level but my break is over
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Personal share:
My neighbor (who is a white, German American guy) is married to a native "Filipina" woman who was raised in a remote province in the Philippines as I was... and it's so refreshing to see his 6 year old "American" kids think differently from their (brainwashed/programmed) peers.
Like, for example, if you offer them candy or any sort of dessert, they would ask "does it have high fructose corn syrup?"
And me, being the daughter and grand-daughter of TRIBAL teachers in the Philippines, I asked her back: "what IS fructose corn syrup?" (I know what it is fyi, I'm just trying to engage).... to which she replied, "it's fake sugar and bad for your body." And they are the same way with television shows and books they're exposed to. And they are only 6. They remind me of how I was raised by my mom and grandma.
Most Americans like to downplay knowledge/wisdom (and when Americans do hype up "learning," it's usually in the name of EGO, i.e. "I'm better than you cause I'm educated")... And yall can excuse the shit and say, "because most Americans are in poverty" but my mom and dad literally lived in poverty in the Philippines? My dad was a squatter/homeless man in the Philippines before he became a custodian/chef for the US Navy. He was born in 1933 and my mom in 1944.... My mom was raised by a single mom of 10 kids IN THE MOUNTAINS where there were no libraries or easy access to food... My dad was literally a "war baby". He witnessed World War 2 at age 10.
Yet they both raised me in a household where we were exposed to the most complex and inter-cultural sorts of science, history, art, etc. AND IT NOT BECAUSE OF PRIVILEGE (I went to an "international school" in PI as a child around RICH European, Chinese, and Korean settlers) . My mom made sure to tell us everyday how poor they were growing up (she and my dad worked hard to save up US$89 a year to pay our tuition fee every year in the 90s).... but the reason why I am the way I am today is because they CHOSE to EXPOSE US to different cultures and knowledges due to the hardships they themselves faced growing up.
But most Americans OF ALL COLOR always TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. And honestly, when my family moved to California when I was 13 (I am 38 now), I saw just how insecure and willfully stupid American kids are. That's why American public school is, to this day, the breeding ground for WILLFUL IGNORANCE. American kids GROW UP TO BE BULLIES.
And I'm not saying this in a condescending manner. I am saying this because it's in COLONIAL cultures like America that BREEDS the type of thinking that "critical thinking" is bad and "being a hard worker" is good.
#idk if that makes sense#you gotta work hard to think critically#but to Americans “working hard” means being a slave to the PROGRAMMING and BRAINWASHING of a colonial culture#and the neoliberal movement in America is THE SAME as the al-right movement#so it's not just a “white people being ignorant” thing when I say AMERICANS ARE WILLFULLY IGNORANT#Black Americans and Latino Americans are the exact same way#Worse they cling on to their identity politics to further the oppressive system which they themselves SUPPORT#I have 2 Bachelor's degrees & even with a “formal education” I still worked as a garbage woman & a waitress at age 34 with a $14 wage#yet majority of latino Americans and black americans think they're the only ones “struggling”??? identity politics is so mind-numbing man#majority of AMERICANS OF ALL COLOR don't have the capacity to critically think therefore their EMPATHY is very limited#I have a lot to say about this because 3 of my ex boyfriends were UNDOCUMENTED mexican men who earned MORE than me a “citizen” w/ 2 degree#and 2 of them (not “educated”) literally BULLIED me for being “privileged” when they themselves have never worked at places I've worked at#these are mexican latino men who receive privileges from society due to CULTURAL NEPOTISM and who perpetuate the wrongful assumption that-#the “asian monolith” are “all privileged”#ok I am done
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I’m very much over auto parts crying her white woman tears
#big brother#bb25#as a white woman that shit is powerful and a privilege#use it too often then it just becomes annoying and pick me#she literally wanted to become HoH???#I hope she either self evicts or gets out week 2#she is a liability to her alliances and can’t make moves without feeling bad#like it’s big brother you signed up for this#you cant please everyone (as a people pleaser in therapy)#I don’t feel bad for her tbh
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And I’m standing ten toes down behind Eloise
#Ppl calling her feminism white feminism#like yeah for todays standards sure whatever#my feelings on Eloise are complicated but a lot of y’all’s feminism is whether u think Barbie was good and that’s how ur measuring Eloise#like this little girls girl shit is right next to thinking Barbie is a masterpiece is right next to saying here’s my 20 step skincare#routing but it’s for yourself not for men but also here’s how to walk and make eye contact to manipulate a man ;3#like It’s so funny how everyone was mad Eloise didn’t put action to the thoughts#which season 2 was all about btw like I feel like ppl also misunderstand the point of her character and what’s happening internally but diff#and now theyre saying she’s an asshole for shifting topics of convo within her group of peers#when that’s proof that she cannot assimilate the way y’all say she does?#like yuckk#Idk I feel like the visceral reaction to Eloise just feels like ‘if feminist why care about ur dad 🤨’#i was gonna say y’all want Eloise to cut off all ties with her family and start connecting to those of lower classes#but when she did anything CLOSE to that y’all STILL called her an asshole#also you know what you’re walking into when you’re watching bridgerton it was way too early to keep her there you KNOW that#but also also Penelope has been trying to find her niche and balance her family’s reputation with her ideals the entire time#and it does come off as hypocritical and self centered at times just as every single character on this show has!#i said Penelope I meant Eloise it still applies but whatever#anyways#yeah season 2 she came to the conclusion y’all did#that she wasn’t really about it and she should stick to high society#‘she was such an asshole this season’ bc she in fact does believe what she preaches and found ignoring it to be difficult#like y’all are just saying she’s a bad person no she was uncomfortable and response was to be snappy like hello#like this dramatic shift in her character is bc of the trouble she caused her family by trying to stand on business#like when it comes to interpersonal relationships Eloise suffers from the fact that not everyone comes to the same conclusions she does#like she told Benedict she can’t understand how nobody sees what she sees#but that’s not true a lot of people see what she sees#Cressida saw what she sees! what Eloise DOESNT understand is that other ppl come to diff conclusions with the same knowledge!#other ppl see the same thing and choose to flourish within the system no questions! bc they don’t have the privilege to do anything else!#THATS where she needs to grow! the obvious conclusion IS obvious but what to do after is mot the same or available to everyone!#but thats like. the most positive of my feelings towards her it is complicated I’m just being nice rn
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i stopped going so hard for orville peck for many reasons as much as i still love the music and the theatrics but never in a million years will you catch me running in the same circles as hardcore trixie mattel fans like i just cant do it like that is a deal breaker for me.
#i still like pony and show pony a lot#bronco was okay and im still looking out for his future stuff#but ever since he blew up over covid his fans have been 1. not normal at all and#2. freak out when u bring up the fact its just a character and he is like a white south african privileged theatre kid ahfishfksjfj#like that doesnt mean his music is bad or anything its just a fact .. the more ppl ignored it the weirder the vibes got so i had to scoot#outta there…!!!#tp
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