#she is a liability to her alliances and can’t make moves without feeling bad

[julieeexcheeen]

I’m very much over auto parts crying her white woman tears

[lichfucker]

i would love to hear about why all of the ted lasso characters would fail survivor but especially rebecca

hhh ALL of them... okay the vast majority of the players can be explained away with just "physical prowess enough to make them a threat in individual challenges but dumb as bricks and would not be able to strategize themselves out of a bad spot"

this is abt to get long lmao so I'm putting individual ppl under the cut

nate is the most obvious first boot I honestly feel bad about it. bumbling, socially awkward, has NO idea how to assert himself without being an asshole about it (in the rare instances when he does assert himself at all), and even if he's smart enough to be a great strategist (which he absolutely IS), he can't convey it well enough to convince his tribe to overlook his (probable) lack of challenge ability. most of the time, people don't want to draw harsh lines in the sand on the very first vote so they can pretend everyone's getting along and still friends, so nate would be a sort of freebie vote that it'd be easy to agree on.

beard is too much of a follower. what ted says to dr sharon abt him is, "that man has had many lives, many masters." he's very comfortable being led by people with stronger personalities, and even when he disagrees with their calls he will still execute them like a perfect little lackey. the thing about beard is that I think he'd go VERY far in a season of survivor! I think he could EASILY make it all the way to the end! but I just don't think he can WIN. he's genius-level intelligent and SO strategically savvy, but more than that he is fiercely loyal. he'll attach himself to the right person (or the wrong person, as it were), and even if he is whispering in that person's ear all the way through, he would be TOO content to let them take all the credit, he wouldn't push back against them if they disagree with his plans and make a lesser move instead (the whole beginning of 'beard after hours' is him berating himself for not standing up and making the hard calls even when he knew they'd be better), he wouldn't turn around and slit that person's throat at the end to further his own game, and he would make himself socially impenetrable to everyone else. nobody could get close to him, nobody could like or understand him, he'd probably be seen as good collateral if the opposition couldn't strike directly at whomever beard works with, and if he DOES make it to final tribal, I think he'd have a very difficult time convincing the jury that he deserves the credit and the limelight. he wants to win, I just don't think he believes he deserves to.

ted and roy actually would have the exact same problem, which is "physically and strategically competent, but so FUCKING ANNOYING to live with that they get booted for the sake of tribal quality of life." roy would isolate himself socially with his aggression, and ted...

ted is the antithesis of what a "good survivor player" ought to be, which I actually think could work to his advantage in a number of ways? like I think more typical players would find him incredibly unpredictable because he's sharp enough to see what the best moves are, but generous and self-sacrificing enough not to make them. like, there's a reason he's a coach and not a player. there's a reason he says that he doesn't measure success in wins and losses. if he could survive the first few votes, his social game would be AMAZING-- the entire first season of the show is about him wearing rebecca down through the sheer magnitude of his friendship! lesser survivor players would be so endeared to him that they couldn't fathom voting him off, but they're the ones who are getting picked off in his stead. moderately savvy survivor players would not trust a single word out of ted lasso's mouth; there's no fucking way a man can be this kind and this sincere, not on survivor, it's just not possible, he must be plotting something MASSIVE, we have to strike first before he gets his chance. and the truly brilliant survivor players would realize that he IS genuine, he IS sincere, he IS loyal and giving to his core, and that's DANGEROUS. you can't let someone like that make it to the end or they'll take your million dollars. best to shut it down at the jump.

and above all that, I just think that ted... ted would thrive in the pre-merge, in the tribal portion of the game, he's SO team-oriented, but post-merge, in the individual game... perhaps if he had a solid alliance he could also feel that way about, then it might suit his temperament, but ultimately I think he just. wouldn't want it badly enough. I just think the significant majority of people would be vastly more self-interested than ted would be, so they'd take the shot first.

higgins is an interesting midpoint between all three of nate, beard, and ted, in that he's a henchman through and through even when he disagrees with his boss, he's a pushover who'd be seen as a liability in physical challenges in the early game, and he's off-puttingly friendly and polite to the point that nobody would trust that he's being sincere even though he absolutely is. early boot, maybe second or third.

maybe it's just because I've got cook islands on the brain, but jamie (esp season 1 jamie but like. season 2 as well lmao) would play A LOT like early ozzy. an arrogant wonder-boy who's good at everything (did you know there's literally a survivor casting archetype called the "amazing ace"?), with a heart-wrenching underdog story (playing for richmond, that is), an absolute beast in challenges, a huge threat but always immune, he'd win his way to the end but ultimately be beaten out in final tribal by someone smart enough to have dragged him along as their meat shield the whole game.

and as for rebecca... g-d. this one I think hurts me the most because she has everything going for her, she doesn't have a single one of the problems I've listed for anyone else, but I do genuinely believe that rebecca still loses. she's strong and she's smart and she's assertive and she's ruthless and she's sociable and she's a great liar and she's ambitious and she's ADAPTIBLE (she immediately bounces back after not getting the sun to run the photo of ted and keeley and comes up with an alternate plan that will still serve her own endgame, and by g-d being able to roll with the punches and change course is the single most important thing a survivor player can do), but rebecca still loses.

even if we set aside the fact that survivor on the whole is not particularly kind to women over 40... season 1 rebecca, especially early season 1 rebecca, is spite-motivated to the point of self-destruction. she will set her sights on one target and she will be relentless in her effort to get that person out and it'll make her so myopic that she won't see her own end coming immediately afterwards. nobody on that tribe wants to be her next victim-- better get rid of her once she's proven what she's capable of.

she's also dreadfully insecure in the wake of her divorce and when her polished veneer cracks enough to let it show (how many days of being rained on do we think it'll take for her to slip? my guess is five), some people will see it as the vulnerability that finally allows them to connect with her on a human level, while others will see it as a threatening endgame storyline and an exploitable weakness.

there are some juries, particularly old-school juries, that wouldn't vote for her in the end purely based on the fact that a million dollars is just a drop in the bucket to a woman like rebecca mannion welton. that would be a real shame, and a disservice to the game she would have had to play just to make it that far.

what's more likely than that, though, in my opinion, is that rebecca... loses the drive to win. I think that somewhere along the way survivor stops being a game that she is playing, stops being a competition, and instead becomes a journey of personal growth through adversity. I think she, like ted, stops measuring her success in wins and losses. I think she proves herself more capable and resilient than she ever thought she could be, and that is worth more to her than the money or the title of sole survivor, and she stops fighting for it. and maybe the jury admires that, and gives it to her anyway, rewards her transformation. or maybe they don't. maybe they view it as a concession, a forfeit. but I'm not certain that that moment of revelation happens at the final tribal council. I think it happens just before. I think it happens after the final immunity challenge, and she tearfully and valiantly allows herself to be voted out just inches from the finish line. I think rebecca is the fallen angel of the season, and she goes off to the jury with her head held high, which is nice, and so very noble of her, and the fans would be DYING to have her play again but she wouldn't, because she'll have gotten everything she could have wanted out of her survivor experience, and she doesn't need the crown on top of it.

I think rebecca COULD win. she just WON'T.

[chalantness]

fic: Here, On the Edge of Hell (1/6)

Rating: M Word Count: ~9400 (part one) Characters: Steve/Natasha Summary: [ mafia au ] She knows her father hadn’t been lying when he said that Uncle Howard wanted her to keep an eye on Steve, but if this was simply about protection, he wouldn’t have put her on the line at all. Especially not with all of the heat Steve Rogers is getting from the other Families, which means that her uncle has another reason for Natasha to be involved.

He just won’t tell her what it is. 

Read On: [ ao3 ]

A/N: This is less of a mafia story and more of a flirty, fluffy story in a "light" mafia setting, and it's loosely inspired by an edit by @kingslxyers - except it's modern day instead of the 1940's and likely won't be half as exciting as her little blurb, but I wanted to take a crack at it, anyway, because I've been on a mafia kick thanks to some of my most recent reads. There are more characters to be added as we go, but most of the major ones have already been introduced!

This will most likely be in 6 parts, though it might possibly drop to 5 or bump up to 7. I more or less have it planned out but I've already been changing things along the way with this first part so I thought I'd throw that possibility out there! I have a tentative goal of getting this done by the end of May or mid-June, but of course, there could be things to distract or delay me! I'll try to keep you darlings posted on my progress over on tumblr.

Again, I cannot stress enough how much this probably won't be the intense mafia au you've read elsewhere, but I decided I wanted to write it, anyway - and if flirting and family fluff and a dose of smut are your thing then you might enjoy this, too!

It’s been quite some time since Natasha has done wet work, but there are some things that need to be done right, the first time, and Natasha rarely ever makes a mistake.

Her uncle didn’t quite ask her to take care of it, but she knows that man like the back of her hand. Johann Schmidt is too prominent a name in New York to not draw attention if he turns up dead in the ditch of a construction site, and though most hits are meant to send a message—the bloodier, the better—there are certain problems that are best dealt with quietly, and Natasha is good at quiet. A toxicology report is practically nothing, not when the finest prosecutors in Manhattan have failed to get a single conviction off of evidence far more damning than a few chemicals found in a blood sample. But anyone with any common sense in the underworld will know exactly who’s behind the hit.

(There’s a reason they call her The Black Widow.)

Half an hour after watching Schmidt polish off every last drop of his laced tumbler of scotch, Natasha’s greeted by her father sitting behind the large oak desk she’s been meaning to replace. Technically, this office is still his, but considering she’s the one that spends the most time in here now, looking after the family’s restaurant – among other things – she wants to make the space feel a little less like a cigar lounge. This office looks exactly as she remembers it from when she was little and used to sit right there in that chair, reading atop her father’s knee while he took phone calls. Back then, she may not have understood the things he’d talk about – that he’d been threatening people and ordering hits while she could hear – but she knew that bad things were being done. That her father was dangerous. But to her, it didn’t quite matter. He’s still her father.

In fact, it made her appreciate him more, learning that he never shied away from the truth of what their family was – is – even with his own baby girl.

“Had a good night, darling?” he asks, smirking at her through the dark.

Natasha quirks her lips. “The best.” She slips out of her heels and kicks them away from the doorway, then rounds the desk, perching herself on the corner as she reaches over to switch on the lamp. “Is there any particular reason why you’re here lurking?”

If it was her Uncle Howard or even her cousin, Tony, she’d get a quip in response, something dry and witty. Aunt Maria would tease her about not needing a reason to visit her favorite niece. But Natasha’s parents, even when speaking vaguely and even when they are kidding around with her, are always terribly direct.

“The family will be meeting here in a few minutes,” her father announces as he leans back in the worn leather chair, fingers threaded together atop his stomach.

She arches an eyebrow. “To discuss what?”

Natasha already has a fairly clear idea of what would require a family meeting, though her father mimicking her with an arch of his own eyebrow gives her the confirmation she’d been looking for.

Joseph Rogers had been the head of the Four Families for as long as Natasha can remember, and they all knew of the firstborn son that he’d kept hidden away in honor of the one request that Sarah Rogers made when they went their separate ways. Something in itself that had already been unheard, since no one ever left the Families. Even if you were allowed to walk away, there was always the assumption that the Families would know your every move, just in case you became a liability. But Sarah Rogers seemed to have been the exception, and Joseph Rogers had done the impossible by keeping all traces of his first-born son tucked away from the Families. No one had even known of his name until he showed up alongside his half-siblings three days after Joseph Rogers had gone missing, and no one tried to challenge his place. Their resemblance is stunning.

Natasha doesn’t expect her father to elaborate, so it catches her off guard when he continues with: “Your uncle is concerned about Steve.”

“I can’t imagine why,” she retorts. Steve Rogers had attended a private boarding school all his life, until he enrolled in the army right after graduation, and he’d worked in private security for a few years since returning to New York.

He’s practically God’s righteous man, and him simply being here on the inside of the Families – let alone being the one that heads them – is something that has put everyone on edge. The easiest answer would be to get rid of him, except doing so would sever the alliance between the Four Families that has built them into the empire that they are. Her Uncle Howard is Joseph Rogers's best friend, which means that there’s no way any of the Families could lay a hand on Steve Rogers even if they wanted to. Not without it being directly against Howard Stark’s orders—and they all know that, even with Joseph Rogers’s son taking his place, Howard Stark is the real one in control of the Families.

“Howard wants you to act as his advisor,” her father adds, and she feels her lips part, her eyebrows raising. If she’d been anywhere else, in front of any other person, she wouldn’t have let her surprise slip into her expression so easily.

Considering that Clint Barton has remained the consigliere to the Rogers family, even with Steve as the head, she doubts that her uncle means for her to take his place.

“You mean, he wants me to keep an eye on him.” She narrows her eyes, holding her father’s stare through the dark. “If Uncle Howard doesn’t trust him—”

“He wouldn’t be free to meet up with his two detective friends for a steak dinner right now if Howard didn’t trust him,” he interrupts, pausing after to tilt his head in consideration. “Though, trust may be a strong word. But if your uncle had even an inkling of Steve Rogers being a rat, he’d have done something, even if he is Joseph’s boy.”

“Then what does he need from me?” Natasha asks, though the words are barely past her lips when the thought occurs to her. “He wants me to protect him.”

Her father smiles wryly. “Steve has a lot of eyes on him.”

“We all do.”

He nods at this. “Yes, but he doesn’t know the Families, doesn’t know this life, and he keeps the law as his company. And before you say that that’s his problem to deal with,” he adds, and Natasha rubs her lips together, suppressing a smirking. Her father reads her well, no matter how good of a poker face she has. “He’s in the Family now. He’s Joseph’s blood, and even if you don’t care for him, you’ll care for the attention he draws onto Wanda and Pietro. People aren’t happy they helped keep their brother a secret.”

Natasha knows this, of course. Never mind the fact that Wanda and Pietro grew up as mafia heirs, just like the rest of them, nor the fact that they wouldn’t be questioned at all – at least, not so blatantly – if Joseph Rogers hadn’t gone missing.

Throwing their names around is just another way people are trying to get to Steve Rogers, to get rid of Steve Rogers—and Natasha is willing to bet that keeping as much heat off of Wanda and Pietro as possible is why the man must be doing exactly as he’s advised, regardless of his own morals.

Maybe he won’t be so bad at this after all.

... ...

“Who else knew about this delivery?”

Clint Barton narrows his eyes ever so slightly in a gesture that Steve has determined as the man’s one, singular tell. Even then, it’s not much, and if Steve hadn’t had to spend hours upon hours at a time in the man’s company, giving him his full attention, Steve doubts it’s something that just anyone can pick up.

Of course, Steve doesn’t live his life among just anyone these days.

“It’s hard to say, but it wasn’t exactly kept on the down low,” Clint answers, and Steve blows out a breath, leaning back in his chair as he drains the last of his rum from his glass.

Steve doesn’t need the guy to add that there wasn’t a need to keep things quiet between the Families before now. Before Joseph Rogers went missing, and before Steve was suddenly thrust into his father’s place, after being kept from anything that had to do with the underworld for most of his life. It hadn’t even been until high school that Steve learned his father was even alive, let alone who the man actually was. Steve had never bought his mother’s explanation that scholarships were the reason she could afford to send him to one of the best private schools in the country, and, when he finally met his father after coming home from deployment, it made sense why his mother never hurt for money. It had been easy for Steve to deny their resemblance and to overlook their last names when Joseph Rogers was just an infamous face that made it into the papers.

Standing in the same room as him had been a different story.

“This may not be anything,” Clint says after a moment, and Steve catches his stare, narrowing his eyes ever so slightly. Not once since he began advising Steve has Clint tried to downplay a situation, and Steve doesn’t believe the man would start now. He should feel stupid by putting so much trust in Clint, because that’s exactly the kind of thing that you’d think would get you killed in this life. Trust. At the same time, Steve is beginning to understand that that’s exactly what the underworld thrives off of: the trust that no one, not even your greatest rivals, would dare rat you out to the cops. Because among all of their gray, twisted morals, the code of silence is one of the most sacred of all.

“You think it’s just the cops breathing down everyone’s necks?”

Clint nods, lips twisting at the corner in a wry smile. “Not everything is about you, Rogers.”

Despite himself, Steve breathes out a laugh, shaking his head. It’s no secret that Steve’s got all eyes on him right now. He’d known, vaguely, that his father was a prominent figure in the underworld—but it wasn’t until the man disappeared and Steve had taken his place that he realized his father practically ran the underworld.

People don’t like that he stepped in instead of Pietro or Wanda, and Steve is inclined to agree. His half-siblings who’d been born into this life and raised among the Families would’ve been the logical choices, but they both asked him to head the Families, and so he did. Because no matter what Steve felt towards their father, he’d felt connected to Pietro and Wanda from the moment they met. They’d felt like family, and Steve decided that if this is what they wanted from him then he had no real choice but to comply.

After all, he’d gone his entire life without being touched by this world, while this was all they’d known. It’s about time he paid his dues, and it seems that the universe is inclined to agree. Steve could agree that tonight’s botched delivery might not have had anything to do with sending him a message, except it’s among several unusual and pretty damn bold incidents in the last few months since Steve came into the picture that’ve been directed at Rogers establishments, or at associates that almost exclusively work with their family. Steve may not have been born into this life, but he’s always been pretty damn good at recognizing a threat, especially one that’s directed at him.

“Alright, you two,” a voice interrupts, and Steve looks up as Wanda leans against the doorframe of the library, hugging it as she arches an eyebrow at them. “Time to eat.”

Clint’s expression softens at the edges, genuine light twinkling in his eyes. Other than his wife and kids, Wanda seems to be the only one that can draw that smile from him. The guy’s got a soft spot a mile wide for her.

Steve knows the feeling. His little sister has him wrapped around her finger like another one of her ornate rings.

“I thought I smelt vinaigrette,” Clint says as he stands, gulping down the rest of his rum before setting the glass back down on the table. Steve stands, too, and Clint simply nods at him before he heading out the door, dropping a kiss atop Wanda’s hair as he passes her.

Wanda leans off of the doorframe and glides into the room, and, almost on instinct now, Steve glances down to see which of her mother’s shawls Wanda has chosen. It was one of the few things Wanda and Pietro kept of their mother after she passed, and Wanda never fails to incorporate one of the colorful shawls into her outfit for the day—to keep a piece of her mother with her, she’d told him. Steve’s seen pictures of the woman around his father’s house – along with a few pictures of his mother, Sarah, too – and it’s easy to see how much Wanda and Pietro take after her. If he squints, though, he can see a little bit of their father in them, and it’s like seeing a little bit of him them, too.

“I already packed enough for Clint to take home to Laura and the kids, so you boys can clean out the rest.”

Steve chuckles. “We’ll try our best, but you usually make enough to feed a small army.” Wanda shrugs her shoulders cutely and Steve pulls her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’m sorry we took so long. I was supposed to take care of dinner tonight.”

“I think you get a pass, all things considered,” Wanda reassures, glancing over at the emptied bottle of rum still sitting on the table. “Should we be worried?”

Steve’s lips twitch at the corner. “No more so than usual.”

Wanda just stares up at him for a moment, holding his gaze, and he can practically see the thoughts flitting behind those big, bright eyes of her. It reminds him of his mother a little bit, the way the woman would just look at him and know something was up. But whatever Wanda sees in his eyes, she must also sense that, at least to some extent he must be telling the truth, because her expression softens back into that smile of hers as she nods once, then takes his empty tumbler from her and sets it aside on the table.

“You had guests earlier,” Wanda adds as he offers her his arm, and Steve peers down at her as they leave the library.

The feigned nonchalance in her tone gives her away. “Bucky and Sam?” Steve guesses.

Wanda hums with a nod, tightening her hold on his arm ever so slightly. He thinks maybe she’ll give him the same speech that Clint does whenever the man catches either of their names light up on his phone—that having any relations with anyone in law, let alone being best friends with two of New York’s best detectives, isn’t doing him any favors. No one likes a rat, and even though Steve doesn’t even know how he feels about his role in any of this, he isn’t about to bust anyone out to the cops. Not when it puts Wanda and Pietro directly in the line of fire. As it is, the cops busting a handful of deliveries in the last few months is already causing talk, and it’s no secret that people blame Steve.

His sister glances up at him, blinking slowly. Steve lets out a sharp sigh. “If you want to say something, you can say it.”

“I’m just worried, is all.”

He’s not surprised. “I can handle it,” he promises.

But she shakes her head, rubs her lips together before amending, “I’m worried for them,” and, okay, this does surprise Steve a little. “If anyone gets enough of an excuse to suspect you of being a rat, they may not be able to take it out on you directly, but they certainly won’t hesitate to go after them instead.”

Steve nods once, feeling his jaw tighten. Yeah, he’s talked with Bucky and Sam about that very thing before, when he’d – vaguely – filled them in on what his father’s disappearance meant. Not only would continuing to be friends with Steve now that he’s fully involved in the Families put their lives in danger, but it’ll put their careers in danger, too. Sam says that people on the force might see it as an advantage to have some supposed in with the underworld to work for information; Steve hopes that’s enough to keep them from ruining their careers, but not enough to rile the Families up, either. It’s a dangerous line to walk, and honestly? He isn’t even sure if it’s possible.

But neither of them wants to cut Steve off, no matter how much he tries to convince them to do so—and a small, selfish part of him is a little relieved.

(He likes having a piece of his old life still with him, no matter how dangerous it may be.)

“Thank you for being worried,” Steve says, his voice barely above a whisper, and his sister smiles softly, eyes fluttering shut as he brushes a kiss to the middle of her forehead. “They can handle it, too.”

Wanda nods, loosening her hold on his arm as they reach the kitchen, and when she opens her eyes again, any trace of wariness has dissolved completely.

“Let’s eat.”

... ...

“An advisor?” Carol glances over at Maria, whose fingers have actually paused over the keys of her laptop to hold Carol’s stare before her gaze sifts over to Natasha, one eyebrow arching. “Considering I just spoke with Clint this morning, I’m fairly certain that Steve Rogers already has a consigliere.”

“I know,” Natasha says on an exhale, propping her heels onto her coffee table and crossing them at the ankles. Maria wrinkles her nose at this, but since they’re in Natasha’s apartment rather than her own, the woman just turns back to her screen and continues typing, though she’s still listening as Natasha continues with, “Trust me, I’ve tried to squeeze the real answer out, but my uncle is being particularly evasive about whatever he may be planning.” That’s possibly what bothers Natasha most about all of this. She knows her father hadn’t been lying when he said that Uncle Howard wanted her to keep an eye on Steve, but if this was simply about protection, he wouldn’t have put her on the line at all. Especially not with all of the heat Steve Rogers is getting from the other Families, which means that her uncle has another reason for Natasha to be involved.

He just won’t tell her what it is.

“Is it possible that this could just be about protecting him?” Carol asks, even though there’s still wariness in her tone, like she can’t quite believe in this possibility. Not entirely, at least. “Our father seems to be genuinely concerned that Steve might not be safe even from the Families, whether or not he’s blood.” Carol pauses as Natasha presses her lips together, smothering a laugh. Maria smirks. “Well,” Carol amends, lightly swirling her glass of wine around, “as concerned as Nicholas Fury can ever get.”

“Which is hardly at all, if it doesn’t have anything to do with the two of you,” Natasha points out.

Carol grins. “I know it’s hard to imagine, but Dad actually seemed… bothered after his meeting with Odin last night.” She glances over at Maria as her sister looks up from her screen again, a wry smile tugging at her lips.

“Hela has done quite a lot of complaining about that botched delivery the other night,” she adds, and Natasha breathes out a laugh, shaking her head. She’d heard about that, too, and her uncle hadn’t been surprised to hear Hela running her mouth about it even though the delivery had nothing to do with her family. It’s far from the first time this has happened, which would make it a pretty damn big stretch to assume that Steve Rogers had anything to do with this at all. But Hela has always loved stirring a little chaos in the underworld and Odin has never really put his foot down when it comes to his daughter, so Natasha isn’t surprised that the woman is making a big production out of this.

“Hela isn’t stupid,” Natasha reminds. “She may be dramatic, but not even she would be so blatant in challenging Steve Rogers.”

“No, but she’s never been good at being subtle, either,” Carol says. “She’s always thought that their family should be the one running the show. With Joseph Rogers missing and Steve Rogers stepping in instead of Wanda or Pietro, maybe she finally sees an opportunity.”

“She’d still have to go behind her father’s back to do anything,” Maria counters. “Joseph Rogers may be gone, but Odin wouldn’t stand a chance against Dad and Howard.”

Natasha rubs her lips together, considering this. For the most part, Hela has always been more talk than anything else. She doesn’t like to get her hands dirty – and she really doesn’t need to in order to get what she wants – but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to get involved from time to time, which almost always results in a mess that someone else has to clean up before they have even more cops poking around. Still, if anyone is going to be reckless enough to start something between the Families, it would be Hela.

“But,” Maria adds, another smirk tugging at her lips as she looks over at Natasha, “whether Steve Rogers actually needs protecting isn’t the point.”

Natasha can’t help but laugh. “Is there another point I’m missing?”

“Maybe your uncle just wants you to be friends.”

Carol presses the rim of her glass to her lips, shoulders shaking with her urge to laugh, and Natasha feels herself smiling even as she narrows her eyes. “Maria.” The woman just blinks at her, smirk perfectly in place. “I think I have more than enough friends. Some of which I don’t even want.”

“Oh, I think you’ll want this one,” Maria retorts. Natasha suppresses a smile as she shakes her head, happening to glance out the window, but she feels herself pause as she catches sight of the street below.

There’s really no reason why a simple and rather bland black compact car parked along the opposite block should stand out to her. This is one of the most expensive apartment complexes in the city because of its advanced security system (rather ironically designed by her Uncle Howard’s most profitable legitimate businesses) and so any tenant that can afford the rent here can also afford an extra few thousand dollars for more than one spot in the garage to keep all of their luxury imported cars safe. Anyone that parks along the street wouldn’t be someone that lives in her building, but that’s hardly a reason for her to be suspicious when she notices the same car more than once.

Still, there’s something about this damn black car that she can’t quite shake.

... ...

“You know, I’m getting pretty damn tired of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t worry about,” Steve almost growls out, half-shoving his phone back into his jacket pocket. Behind the bar, Pietro glances over his shoulder with his eyebrows raised, surprise and amusement glinting in his stare. “Sorry,” Steve exhales, rubbing at his jaw.

“No, no. By all means, be pissed,” Pietro insists with a bit of a laugh, turning back to Steve and setting down a bottle of vermouth and another one of gin on the bar counter between them. “You know, for the longest time I was convinced Dad was invincible because he sure as hell acted like it. Nothing ever got under his skin.” His lips hitch into a grin “I know it’s what makes him good at being in charge—and you’ve definitely got that going for you, too. But I’ll admit I relate a little more to you when you sweat it out.”

Steve chuckles with a shake of his head. “I’m definitely not invincible. Not even close.”

“I don’t know,” Pietro says, pouring both the vermouth and gin into a pitcher and then stirring. “You’re holding it together pretty damn well.”

“For someone who doesn’t even know what the hell he’s doing? Yeah, I guess,” Steve quips, and he’s barely even joking. He doesn’t know how he’s getting by. Clint Barton helps a lot and so do Wanda and Pietro, but that doesn’t mean Steve feels as if he’s really getting a grasp on any of this. All he really does is handle one thing at a time.

“No, you’re doing pretty damn well, period. I would know, big brother,” Pietro insists, pouring the cocktail into the two glasses before nudging one over to Steve. “If you didn’t step in, I’d be in your shoes right now and I know for damn sure I wouldn’t be handling it the way you have and the way Dad always has. I’m too impulsive, too emotional. But you,” he says, tapping his glass against Steve’s, “are exactly the kind of person built to be in charge. You’re good at this, and you don’t have to believe me. I’m sure you don’t.” Pietro smirks at his brother, and Steve lets out another chuckle. “All the shit that’s happening right now isn’t because you’re here. It’s because Dad isn’t. Trust me.”

Maybe for the first time all day, Steve feels most of the tension start to ebb from his body. He gives his brother a smile. “If you say so,” he tells Pietro, and as they take a gulp of their drinks, Steve takes a moment to glance around the restaurant. The placed is closed between lunch and dinner the way it has since their grandparents opened it, or so Wanda has told him – and despite the fact that it’d started off as another small, legitimate business to front operations for the Families, it’s become a popular spot to eat at in the city. The hundreds of tourists that come each day have no idea what kinds of things that have happened inside these walls, and, until a few months ago, neither did Steve.

He tries to imagine (and not for the first time) what it would’ve been like if his mom had chosen to stay with his dad all these years. If she would’ve been involved in the businesses the way Wanda and Pietro are. If Steve would’ve come close to being the same man he is now, even if he’d been raised in the lifestyle. Steve used to be convinced that he wouldn’t have been, but then he thinks of Pietro and Wanda and hesitates. He expected his opinion to change about them, even a little, after he’d learned the truth—but it didn’t. Everything he came to love about them when they started seeing each other are still easy for him to see now, even after knowing what they’ve been involved in.

Which puts him in one hell of a hard spot. He’s not sure if he has what it takes to be involved with the Families, but now that he’s around Wanda and Pietro all the time, and even being around Clint and his family, Steve is pretty damn sure he doesn’t have what it takes to turn against the Families, either.

It’s not something he had ever genuinely contemplated after his father told him the truth, but considering he’d already known a lot about the Families and their repertoire of operations and crimes thanks to Sam and Bucky, it should’ve been easy to want to put a stop to it all. He could’ve had the perfect opportunity on the inside as the head.

But he can’t do it. He can’t, and he’s not quite sure what that says about him as a person, but he’s fairly certain he doesn’t want to find out.

The chime of the door front door pulls Steve from his thoughts, and he glances down at his watch (they’re still a half hour away from opening their doors for dinner) before looking over his shoulder as Wanda glides into the room.

And she’s not alone.

He’s met Natasha Romanoff before, and though it had been quick—he’d met Howard Stark for lunch, and his niece was wrapping up in his office and walking out the door when Steve had arrived—it’d been enough for Steve to remember. After his meeting that day, he had every reason to be preoccupied with anything other than the image of the woman with endless green eyes and lips as vibrant as the curls of hair that’d been swept over her shoulder. The smile she’d given him had been small and polite, but something in the way her gaze had flitted over him had lingered in his thoughts even hours later – and, as he sets his drink down and stands from his barstool, he feels that same weight in her stare as those bright eyes traces over him again. This time, her gaze is slower, so much so that it feels almost like a palpable touch as it slides over him.

“Ma’am,” Steve greets, holding his hand out as Wanda and Natasha near, and those long eyelashes of hers flutter ever so slightly as she meets his stare.

“Hi,” she replies, sliding her hand into his in a shake. “Well, hi again, I suppose.”

Beside them, Wanda furrows her eyebrows ever so slightly, glancing between them with this little smile. “Oh? You two have met already?”

“Briefly.” Natasha’s eyes flits to Wanda’s as she pulls her hand back, but then she’s peering back up at Steve, her lips tugging at the corners into a smile. “But I figured a proper introduction was in order considering we’ll be spending quite a bit of time together.”

“Right,” Steve says. “Howard did mention you would be offering your assistance, though I’ll admit I was a little skeptical about how much was offered rather than ordered.”

Wanda blinks at him, both eyebrows raised, and Steve is only concerned about coming off the wrong way for a fleeting second before Natasha tips her head back and laughs. Steve feels his smile widen at the sound of it, and then she tilts her head at him, her lips tugging at the corner in a smirk. “And here I thought all the rumors of you being a stuffy old man might hold some truth,” she says, her eyes glinting. Beside her, Wanda grins into her hand. “But don’t worry. I’m certain Uncle Howard was mostly joking.”

This time, Steve is the one that laughs – and for the first time in days, he feels some of the tension easing from his shoulders. “Oh, I’m sure he meant every word he said.”

“It seems like you’re already starting to learn the ropes around here. Maybe you won’t be needing me as much as my uncle thinks. Of course,” she says, stepping around him, and Steve turns to watch as she picks his drink off of the bar and glances over her shoulder at him, “I will still be taking that dinner invitation you were about to offer.”

Wanda giggles as she shakes her head at Natasha, gliding over to the bar to take the stool next to hers, and, over their heads, Pietro flashes his teeth in a grin.

Steve walks up to the bar, setting his forearm on the counter. Natasha holds his stare, bringing the rim of his cocktail glass up to her lips to take a sip, and Steve feels his own lips tugging into a smirk. “Are you going to be trouble, Romanoff?”

She quirks an eyebrow. “If you’re expecting anything but trouble by now, Rogers, you might be in the wrong business.”

... ...

When her uncle asked her to check in on Steve Rogers every now and then to see how he’s handling things, she’s fairly certain he didn’t intend for her to end up alone with him in the office of one of the Rogers’ restaurants and making their way through a bottle of wine—but really, it shouldn’t be a surprise.

Natasha’s always been a little infamous for improvising.

“Not that I think you’re lying, Rogers, but I’m having a hard time picturing you as a scrawny little kid when you’ve got all of this going on,” Natasha admits, waving her hand at where Steve is standing at the small bar in the corner of the office, pouring a little more wine into their glasses. He glances over his shoulder at her, his eyes tracing over her body as she lounges back in the leather wingback chair, her ankles crossed and her heels propped up on one corner of the desk. She’s not drunk just yet, but it certainly feels a little bit like she is as Steve turns to her with that crooked, almost boyish smile of his and hands her another glass of wine, clinking their drinks together and holding her stare as he takes a sip. He doesn’t shy away from her stare, but it doesn’t feel combative the way she’s used to when someone looks her in the eyes and it’s refreshing.

He takes another sip of wine, longer this time, as he sits himself on the edge of the desk. “I’m told looks can be deceiving.”

Natasha breathes out a laugh. “I may have heard that once or twice before.” His lips twitch, but she can see it in his eyes that something is distracting him, even just a little. She studies his stare for a moment, and again, he doesn’t break their gaze. “Does that have anything to do with why you seem a little distracted right now?”

Steve’s lips quirk at the corners. “You’re definitely as good at reading people as they say.”

“And you’re good at dodging questions,” she counters lightly, tilting her head. “It’s okay if you don’t trust me quite yet. I’d say that makes you better at this than you think.”

Steve chuckles, shaking his head. “But that’s the thing, isn’t it?” he asks, though Natasha can tell he’s mostly talking out loud than anything else, so she takes a sip of wine and watches him stare up at the ceiling for a moment. “Clint tells me I shouldn’t trust just anyone, either, and yet I’m supposed to trust him. I do trust him. And the Families? Everything they do is built on trust.” He pauses, shaking his head again before meeting Natasha’s stare once more. “I guess it’s hard for me to figure out what the truth is.”

She smiles softly. “Truth is a matter of circumstance. That’s something you should figure out how to accept if you plan on making it out of here in one piece.”

He swallows lightly, and for a fleeting second, she thinks his gaze flits down to her lips. “That’s a tough way to live,” he notes, his voice quiet.

She hums. He’s certainly not wrong. “It’s a good way not to die, though,” she says, and Steve breathes out another chuckle.

“Well, that’s got to count for something, doesn’t it?” he asks, watching her as she takes another sip of her wine. Natasha feels her skin tingling ever so slightly as her pulse thrums, and she’s not entirely sure it’s simply because of all the alcohol she’s been drinking. “So, what about us?” he asks. “What’s our truth right now?”

Natasha licks her lips, relishing in the way Steve’s eyes follow the motion. “What do you want it to be?”

He breathes out another chuckle as he shakes his head, glancing away, but only for a moment. Then those bright blue eyes are on her again, glinting with something she can’t quite place, and she’s not sure if she’s impressed or irritated that she’s having a hard time reading him right now. “Howard said you were going to advise me, but I’ve already got Clint for that.” Steve’s gaze flicks over her, his lips hitching at the corner. “Why don’t we start with friends?” he asks, and Natasha can’t quite help the laugh that slips out.

Maybe your uncle just wants you to be friends.

Natasha hopes like hell that Maria doesn’t ever find out about this little conversation, or she’ll never shut up about it.

“Oh, you’re definitely in the wrong business, Rogers,” she says, and he just lifts his glass up, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly until she relents and clinks her wine against his. “Okay,” she concedes. “We can start with friends, especially since my uncle expects me to spend quite a lot of time with you for the foreseeable future. Though, between you and me, friend,” she adds, earning a smirk from Steve and a small, amused shake of his head, “I still haven’t pieced together why my uncle is so insistent to begin with.”

Steve nods as he considers this. “I’ve been turning that over in my head, too. I have to say, I can’t imagine a reason Howard would have for wanting to put his only niece into the crossfire by sticking you with me. But then again, I don’t know the man that well, either.”

“Maybe not, but you shouldn’t underestimate your own instincts,” she advises, and then sighs, shaking her head. “But you’re right. I can’t piece together a solid reason, either, other than the fact that your father and my uncle were incredibly close. It’s very possible he just wants to offer Joseph’s son help that he can truly trust, but…”

She trails off, glancing up to meet his stare. He nods again, seeming to pick up on her hesitation. While that answer is certainly possible, it doesn’t seem likely. Not entirely.

“Would there be any reason I should be worried?” Steve asks almost haltingly, like he’s not entirely sure what he’s even asking to begin with, or maybe he’s just not sure how to phrase it. “I know my father is either respected or feared by everyone, and Clint insists that I shouldn’t be too worried about all the shit happening coming back to bite me in the ass, but—I don’t know,” he admits with an exhale. “I can’t really shake the feeling that maybe he’s right. Maybe all of this might actually have to do with Dad instead.”

Natasha takes another sip of her wine as she lets this sink in. It’s a pretty damn good thing to consider, especially since Joseph Rogers is still missing.

She thinks about her conversation with Carol and Maria, about Carol’s words about the possibility that Uncle Howard might genuinely have a reason to be concerned about Steve’s safety, and she catches Steve’s gaze. “Clint’s told you about Hela?” she asks, though she already knows the answer. Steve nods. Hela hasn’t exactly been quiet in how much she dislikes that Steve Rogers has taken over the Families. “If you ask me about anyone that could genuinely have it out for you among the Families, she’d be the only one. She wasn’t exactly your father’s biggest fan, either. If something happened to make it that way, it was kept on the down low from everyone, but I’ve always thought that maybe Hela had a reason for being so pissed at your father. That maybe she must’ve stepped out of line. Well,” she amends with a quirk of her lips, “more so than usual.”

Steve gives her a small grin, nodding. “I thought maybe that could be true, too. Maybe that’s worth investigating a little further.”

“Just do so quietly, and thoroughly,” Natasha stresses, even though she has a feeling Steve would’ve done so to begin with. “If you find something worth confronting her about, you’ll have to be damn sure that what you know is right. Don’t give Odin and Frigga a leg to stand on to defend her or a reason challenge you.”

“And make sure the rest of the Families have every reason to back me up over them?”

His grin widens as those eyes stare back at her, darkening ever so slightly, and she feels her pulse pick up a little faster. “If you’re always going to be this quick of a study then this is going to be fun,” she tells him, and when he laughs, she swears she can almost feel its touch across her skin.

She can’t remember the last time she felt this kind of thrill.

... ...

“I still don’t think I’m doing this right.”

Wanda looks up from her cutting board and lets out a laugh as she sets her knife down and reaches over. “Start in here first,” she tells him, scooping the crumbling pizza dough back into the mixing bowl. “When you get it to stop crumbling, you can knead it on the counter again. And don’t forget to use a little flour if it’s sticking to your skin,” she adds, taking his hands and flipping them over to sprinkle flour into his palms. Steve breathes out a chuckle and nods, and Wanda takes a moment to watch as he goes back to kneading the dough. “You’ll get the hang of this,” she tells him, and he knows by the soft smile on her face that she’s talking about more than just making a pizza.

“Yeah?” he asks. Wanda nods, giving him a smile before she goes back to chopping the herbs. “Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel that way.”

“You’ll get the hang of it,” Wanda repeats, her voice firmer this time. “You have no idea how much you take after our father. It’s like you were made for it, just like him.”

“Or so I’ve been told,” Steve says with an exhale, squeezing the dough a little harder as he rolls it together in the bowl. When he hears Wanda’s knife pause, however, he glances over and finds himself pausing as well as Wanda looks at him, her forehead creased with concern as she rubs her lips together. He knows what she’s about to say – it’s something both she and Pietro have already said before – so he reaches over and smudges two flour-covered fingers across her cheek, smiling when she lets out a soft squeal and wrinkles her nose, batting his hand away. “If you offer to take my place again, I’ll start to think you’re trying to get rid of me, which is pretty damn upsetting.”

She giggles softly, plucking a pinch of flour from the bowl and tossing it at him. He laughs. “I’d never want that,” she says, and the very edges of her smile fade ever so slightly as she seems to consider her next words. “I know this isn’t your first choice, but I love that I get to see more of you now. I love that you’re here.”

He smiles, and this time, she doesn’t seem to mind his floury hands at all when he pulls her close, draping an arm around her as she wraps hers around his waist in a hug.

“I do, too,” he says against her hair, and she tips her head back to smile up at him, lips parting to say something in return, but they both pause when they hear the front door being unlocked, two voices floating in from the front of the brownstone.

Sam and Bucky.

Wanda’s gaze flits to the entryway, hesitant, but then he gives her a gentle squeeze and she peers up at him with a small smile.

Sam and Bucky’s voices grow louder as they step into the kitchen, but then they both pause when they see Wanda, their bodies stiffening ever so slightly, and Steve hates that he can feel Wanda cling onto him just a little bit tighter as if to brace herself. “Hey,” Steve greets, pulling Sam’s attention off of Wanda, and his friend gives him this wry sort of smile as he echoes his greeting. It takes Bucky a moment longer for his eyes to leave Wanda, but Steve is relieved that there isn’t apprehension in his stare. It seems as though Bucky is just taking a moment to take her in, and since his sister doesn’t seem wary just yet, Steve lets it slide. “Looking for a free meal?” he asks with a smirk.

Sam grins as he tosses his keys onto the island counter. “Always,” he says, his gaze shifting back to Wanda. “Is that garlic you’ve got roasting in the oven?”

Wanda’s smile brightens just a little bit more as she unwinds herself from around Steve. “Of course. Is there any other way to make pizza sauce?” she asks, one eyebrow arched as she picks up her knife again. “Are you two any good in the kitchen?”

Bucky steps further into the kitchen, coming to stand opposite of where Wanda has spread out on the kitchen island. “Not really,” he admits, but Wanda still pushes over the second, smaller cutting board where she’s placed the blocks of mozzarella and cheddar cheese, and Bucky’s lips twitch into a grin as he picks up the grate. “You know, Steve,” he says, still holding Wanda’s gaze, “I wasn’t really sure I saw the resemblance between you and your half-siblings before, but now it’s pretty damn clear that you’re related.”

Wanda breathes out a laugh as she shakes her head, and Steve smiles, feeling some of his hesitation dissipate.

“You,” Wanda says to Sam, and Steve rubs his lips together to stifle a laugh when Sam’s eyebrows shoot up. “If you two are joining us for dinner, we’ll need more than just one pizza.” She grabs another mixing bowl from one of the cabinets underneath and hands it to him, her eyes twinkling. “Do you know how to make the dough?”

A grin tugs at the corner of Sam’s lips. “Yes, ma’am.”

Wanda exhales a laugh as she turns back to the cutting board, but Steve knows his sister, so he knows that she’s not quite done just yet. “Might I suggest that next time you boys plan to visit, you should check to make sure my brother isn’t already preoccupied,” she advises, glancing up and quirking an eyebrow as she catches Bucky’s gaze. “He might have company far less understanding than me, especially since you’ve come to report that all of your leads have come up empty-handed in your search for our father.”

Steve feels Sam and Bucky turn their attention on him, but he looks at his sister instead, offering a wry smile as he reaches for her.

“Don’t feel too bad,” Wanda says softly as she lets him pull her into a hug. “You did well at hiding it. I’m just much better at finding things out.”

Despite everything, Steve manages a chuckle. “Dad always did call you his little witch, somehow seeing right into everyone’s heads,” he muses, reaching up to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. Wanda squeezes him a little harder. “I didn’t want to say anything because I knew it was a long shot,” he tells her, even though he can see it in her eyes that she must have figured this out for herself. Still, she nods, exhaling a shaky breath. “But, since I was the only one that had police ties, I thought it was worth a try.”

“It was,” Wanda reassures.

“It still is,” Bucky adds, and both Steve and Wanda turn to look at him. Bucky nods, his jaw setting in a stubborn way that Steve has seen dozens and dozens of times before. “We’ll still keep looking on our end,” he promises, his gaze shifting from Steve to Wanda as her offers a wry smile. “Your dad’s just damn good at covering his tracks.”

“It’s kept him alive all this time.” Wanda gives a small shrug. “I just hope that’s still true now, wherever he may be.”

“It is,” Steve insists, brushing a kiss to her temple. She looks up at him. “Nothing in the world can keep him away from his princess for too long.”

She lets out a soft laugh, giving Steve another squeeze before releasing him with a shaky exhale. “Come on,” she says, glancing around at the three of them. “At this rate, we won’t be done with dinner until midnight.”

... ...

“One day when I’m sent to retrieve you from your office this late at night, I’ll be pleasantly surprised that you won’t be here,” a voice greets her with a slight drawl, and Natasha feels a smirk tug at her lips, looking up from her laptop as Tony strolls through the door. He tilts his head, peering at her from over the top of his aviators before pulling them off completely, folding them up and tucking them into the inside pocket of his jacket. “I know Dad asked you to take over because this place was a shit show before you whipped everyone into shape—which, kudos to that, by the way. The club’s doing great. But you know you don’t have to keep managing this dump anymore.”

Natasha hums, leaning back in her chair as Tony comes to stand on the other side of the desk. “What if I like this dump?” she asks, one eyebrow arched.

Her cousin scoffs. “Yeah, because it’s always been your dream to manage a gentlemen’s club.”

Natasha rubs her lips together, trying in vain not to smile. Because Tony isn’t wrong, exactly. Natasha may not do a lot of dirty work; none of them do, in fact, because the higher up in the Families you are, the less you actually have to put your ass on the line for. Especially if you truly are family. Her Uncle Howard likes to give the cops as little chance as possible to find hard evidence tying any of them to any actual crimes. Still, Natasha likes to keep busy, and she thinks her uncle knew that when he asked her to come in and clean up the club. The capo he had in charge before did enough to float under the radar, but considering how prestigious this establishment is and how many their members come from old money, the club was capable of bringing in a hell of a bigger profit than it’d seen in the last few years, and her uncle didn’t want miss out.

It’s been enough to keep Natasha occupied for a few months, but now that the staff is in order and the management has been almost entire replaced, there’s really no reason for her to still come in as often or stay as late as she does.

She knows her uncle will let her take over another business if she asks, or she can step back completely if that’s what she wants instead.

It’s her call. It always has been, but for once, Natasha doesn’t already have her next step in mind.

“Seriously, I can’t imagine having to come here every day knowing you could run into Anton or Ivan at any moment,” Tony says, and though Natasha knows his shudder is more for theatrics, she also knows the contempt in his voice is genuine.

Natasha shares the sentiment. Anton Vanko had been hired onto Stark Industries when it was barely a start-up and has been friends with her Uncle Howard ever since. The man is a brilliant scientist, that much is certain, but there’s always been something about him that’s felt off. That was something that might not have been all that concerning given the world the Starks were part of, only Anton Vanko didn’t come from that world, which Aunt Maria likes to remind everyone whenever the subject comes up. She’s never liked him, and honestly? Natasha isn’t entirely sure if her Uncle Howard likes him, either, but the man was crucial in launching Stark Industries and hasn’t given her Uncle Howard a reason to cut their ties, so everyone has let it be for now. Though, that may not be the case for much longer if his son continues being so damn reckless.

Ivan is sloppy and has a big ego and an even bigger temper. He doesn’t care much for keeping a low profile, even from the cops, and though his father is the reason he hasn’t been kicked out yet, Natasha knows her uncle’s patience is running thin.

“They’re just about as entitled and obnoxious than most of the other men that come here,” she points out. She’s not defending either of them (fuck, not even a little) but Tony has always been rather overprotective of her and she has to remind him every now and then that she can handle herself. “Although, they’ve done quite a bit of talking lately.”

“About how much they dislike your latest boy toy? Yeah, so I’ve heard,” Tony says. Natasha narrows her eyes. “Sorry, do you prefer partner?”

“Friend.”

Tony hums. “No, I’m pretty sure you don’t have any of those.”

Natasha feels herself smiling as she rolls her eyes. “Was there a point to this intrusion of yours?”

He laughs, but a light knock cuts him off before he can answer, and Natasha turns to find her mother standing in the doorway. “We sent him in here to retrieve you for dinner,” she explains, one eyebrow arched, and Natasha breathes out a laugh. It wouldn’t be the first or even fiftieth time Natasha’s been a little late to dinner. She’s always gotten caught up in things, even when she was little, and she can’t even begin to count how many times her mother or father has come to get her just like this so they can drag her to the dinner table. Even now, unless they know she has work to take care of, the family will wait on her if she’s late to their weekly dinner (and she usually is).

“Did you and Dad finally get tired of finding me for yourself?” Natasha jokes as her mother walks over to the desk.

Her lips curve into a small smirk. “I was giving your uncle a chance to sneak his granddaughter a few snacks before dinner,” she says, turning a pointed gaze onto Tony, and Natasha lets out a chuckle as Tony groans, darting out of the office as he calls out for Morgan. “You need to sleep more,” her mother chides, touching Natasha’s cheek.

Natasha tilts her head. “Are you saying I look tired?”

“I’m saying you are tired, because I can tell these things.” Her mother reaches over to close Natasha’s laptop and then gestures for Natasha to get up, and Natasha scoffs out a laugh, shooting her mother a look as she stands. Her mother rolls her eyes. “I know you save your work often, so don’t pretend that I ruined anything. Besides, you should have been done working hours ago, and you haven’t returned any of my texts since this afternoon,” she adds, and there’s something in her voice that makes Natasha pause.

Natasha isn’t particularly quick to reply, but considering how suddenly things can come up, no one else in the family is all that compulsive about it, either.

Her parents have pointed it out to her times before, but it’d always been in a dry attempt at a joke, or sometimes to chide her. It’d never once sounded like this. Like it’d been something for them to worry about.

“I’ve been here all day,” Natasha points out. If her mother wanted to, she could track Natasha’s location since Aunt Maria insisted on it from the whole family, just in case. Her mother nods, but there’s something in her eyes that Natasha can’t quite place that makes her hesitate. “Did I miss something important?” she asks, reaching for her phone.

“Not particularly,” her mother promises, snatching Natasha’s phone from the desk before Natasha can, and Natasha shoots her mother a look.

She doesn’t have a chance to respond, though, because a moment later, Tony reappears in the doorway with exasperation tugging at his expression as he points a thumb over his shoulder. “Can we get this show on the road? Because if Morgan gets a sugar high from all the chocolate Dad’s slipping her, you’ll be putting her to bed, Aunt Melina.”

Natasha smirks as her mother breathes out a chuckle, nudging Natasha forward, and Natasha catches her glancing back into the office before shutting the door behind them.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Wad chapter start

Leaving his husband snoring his head off, Keith showered and dressed before stopping by the nursery to say goodbye to the pups. He'd left a note for Lance, and he knew his mate would be seriously pissed once he woke up, but he felt he was the best one out of all of them to sneak into Hag-Honerva's base. He really needed to stop falling back into the habit of calling the witch Haggar. She was Honerva. And Honerva was in the way of him and Lance forging a peaceful life back on Olkarion. Moving first to Kelance, he lifted his son from his crib

"Hey baby, your daddy is going on a super sneaky mission, and your mummy is probably going to be pretty angry, but daddy will be back"

Kissing Kelance's soft brown hair, he placed him back in his cot, before moving over to Laneith and repeating the same thing to his second son. He really didn't like leaving them sleeping without being guarded, but the safest place in the whole universe for them to be was in their cots

"Daddy's going to come back really soon. I love you guys"

He felt a fool for talking to his boys, when he knew they couldn't understand, he just... he needed them to know how much he loved them, and that he would be back. There was no way he wasn't going to be there to watch them grow. They'd already grown so much... he wanted to be there when they started crawling, and he wanted to hear their first words. He just... he wanted all of it.

 Leaving the nursery, Keith headed up to the bridge, knowing there was a 90 percent chance Shiro would be there. He was still angered over Shiro making a move on Lance, so now he was going to take Shiro as back up... partially because right now, he didn't care what happened the alpha. Lance had kissed him, and he'd kissed Lance. It stirred up such violent emotions that he wasn't completely sure he'd kept his anger in check before Lance had fallen asleep. They'd had sex, but he'd been rough with Lance, pining him down and teasing him until he cried for release, before pounding into his mate as he held his hips hard enough to bruise them. Yeah. He'd let his temper get the better of him, and being Lance, he hadn't complained at all. He hadn't even taken care of cleaning up his mate properly, instead he'd let Lance fall asleep before sneaking off to shower... maybe he was still ever so, a lot, mad over the kiss. Entering the bridge, he found Shiro standing there, moving objects around on the sensor screen used generally for tracking mission progress. He'd kept his tongue at dinner, though he knew that Shiro knew he knew

"Keith, do I want to know why you're dressed in your blade gear"

"Because you and I are going to infiltrate Honerva's base"

Swiping across the screen, it turned off, leaving his seeming somewhat more imposing 

"That's not the plan"

"I know it's not the plan. The plan is awful, like Lance said"

Shiro hefted as sigh as he scrubbed his face with his hand

"So what? Your solution is a potential suicide mission?"

"It's not a suicide mission. I can get close using a Galra fighter jet, much closer than Pidge could in her lion"

"Her lion has cloaking abilities"

"That Honerva probably already knows about. She's waiting for us"

"You don't know that"

"Lance is right. We haven't been thinking as she would. She is obsessed with power and knowledge, meaning she's more than likely kept tabs on all of us. She'll be expecting the lions"

"On the same hand, doesn't that mean she's also expecting us to think like that, and will be expecting some kind of Galra based craft"

"Not necessarily. Well, actually yes, due to the infection that is. She's collecting that black goop and we need to know why. I refuse to put anyone else in danger"

"Pidge, Lance and the pups are fine"

"But it's always them being hurt. If it means they stay here where they are safe, it's for the best"

"So your happy to gamble both our lives"

It was a statement, not a question. Shiro's eyes hard as he stared at Keith 

"Yes. It's my role as leader of Voltron to be the one most in danger. It's your role as the alpha who made a move on my husband to back off and listen to me"

"I had a feeling Lance told you"

"I know all about both kisses and you have no idea how much I want to tear your throat out"

"Keith"

"No. You can at least keep look out. You don't need two arms to open your mouth at the first sight of trouble"

"I would feel better if you would calm down and rethink this"

"There's nothing to think. We are doing this"

 "Not without me, you're not"

Turning to look to Allura, Keith sighed to himself 

"Allura, it's too dangerous"

"So dangerous you'd just take Shiro and leave?"

"I want to protect everyone"

"You don't need to protect me. I can protect myself, and if you encounter Altean Alchemy, you will need an Altean to work it"

"And what about the castle? What if it comes under attack? You're the only one who can activate the teladuv"

"Coran can activate the shields once we've left. You and Lance are continually running off into battle, thinking you're protecting us, when in reality you're alienating yourself from the rest of the team. We're all tired of this martyr attitude you've both adopted and how many times has Lance fallen apart because of it. He's finally getting better, and working at finding a balance. I will not allow him to fall back into depression because you thought you could handle it all on your own"

"Actually, Shiro is coming with me"

"No offence Shiro, but in a fire fight, you'd become a liability. We need him coordinating between us and Voltron"

"We can't transmit back to the castle without the frequency waves being detected"

"Then let's not mess this up"

Looking from Allura to Shiro, Shiro shrugged 

"You can't really say no to the Queen"

"I can and I am. Sorry Allura, but your the only reason we are in an alliance with the Galra. You can't be seen acting like this. I'm not saying Lotor will turn on us if things go from bad to worse, but he's definitely only hanging around to be with you, and if we end up captured or something, you're the only one who can convince him too help"

"But Shiro..."

"Shiro owes me"

"How? What does Shiro owe you for? For Lance? For something that happened deca-phoebes ago?"

"Not quite deca-phoebes, and not even in a quintant ago"

"What are you talking about?"

"He kissed Lance, and Lance kissed him. That's why Lance was so spacey, because he was scared to talk to me. So Shiro's coming for a nice little flight, so we can sort this out"

"Keith"

"Allura, you know I don't like pulling rank or being a quiznak about it all, but this is what's happening. Shiro and I will get close to the barrier, and if we can get in, we will"

"You're putting both your lives in danger"

"Allura, he's made up his mind. And he's right, I did kiss Lance. As his mate and alpha, Keith has the right to call me out on this"

"But..."

"It'll be fine"

"Can't he "call you out"? in another way?"

 "It's his right, as his husband"

Sprung in the act yet again, Pidge and Hunk walked into the bridge. Great. He was trying to involve as few people as possible, and now almost everyone was here

"Keith, buddy. Want to tell us what you've got going on here?"

"Not really"

Placing her hands on her hips, Allura looked like a mum who'd completely had it with her shitty kids behaviour 

"He and Shiro are going to check Honerva's base up close"

"You can't take Shiro, he's only got one arm"

"Thanks, Pidge. I hadn't noticed"

"Sometimes I have to wonder"

"If anything happens, he can't pilot his way out of there"

Seriously? Keith really just wanted to say he was completely ok with that, buuuuut it wouldn't go over well

"This plan is worse than ours and ours is awful"

"I thought you agreed with the plan, Pidge?"

"I agreed because I believe in Green. I don't believe in Lotor"

"Guys, can we just go... before Lance wakes up?"

"You didn't tell him?"

"I left him a note, he needs to rest"

"Keith..."

"Enough. Fine. I'm going in on my own. Stay here with Shiro then, but if he goes near Lance, I will go for his throat"

"Well that escalated quickly. Shiro, what did you do?"

"He kissed Lance"

Hunk groaned 

"Seriously! Haven't we had enough Lance/Shiro/Keith drama for a lifetime? Shiro, bud, not cool. He's married"

"I am well aware of that fact"

"Then why did you kiss Lance?"

"I was trying to reassure him..."

Hunk groaned again, crossing over to Shiro, he wrapped an arm around Shiro's shoulder

"I think you and I need to have a little talk about my best friend. Keith. Take someone with you..."

"Krolia needs to be here to help Lance. Allura needs to be here to be able to use the castle to its full capacity. Pidge... Pidge is not getting hurt again, anytime soon and I am not going to be responsible for Matt's life. Which leave Lotor, you and Lance. None of which I want up close with Honerva"

"Then don't go"

"Lance and I both agree that your plan is flawed. I'm just going to check things out and if I can get in, I'll go from there"

"Keith"

"I'm doing this"

Though the whole point of him angrily storming around in the middle of the night was to mess with Shiro... and now that had been ruined. Turning towards the door, Keith stalked towards it with his hands firmly clenched into fists.

[survivor-mountmerapi]

Ep. 8: “This isn't really my drama” - Anastasia

Elle

Me getting votes in the first post-merge tribal? We absolutely hate to see it folks!! I feel like I'm being so pessimistic about my chances in this game but also like... shouldn't I be 😂😂 God I hope those two votes were Julia and Pietro (but still like, r00d. lol) I have a 10% DA in this next challenge... I'll be Frank [-but then who will be Elle?] Things aren't looking amazing for me but I don't think I'll go home next round (unless Julia has another idol 😭😭😭). I don't even know what to say I'm just bad at thisss 😅 I mean the game not confessionals I've been leaving my heart and soul in these lol. Anyway I'm gone for now I'll just leave with this: Liability is the best song off of Melodrama not Ribs mmk bye ✌🏽✨

DeNara

Oh my gosh, that tribal!!! When Raffy pulled the idol I was like.... what the heck is happening?!?! I can understand Raffy playing it because he wasn't solid with the other warriors and newbies voting with him, but it was a waste of an idol. TBH I am glad he played it though since I didn't know he had it. I felt bad that Pietro went home just because he was aligned with Julia, but it happens. I had to try and do some damage control with Moth and Elle, as well as Rachel after tribal. They were shook when Julia pulled an idol and Pietro got votes. Anastasia just out right told me the magic beans she got at the auction allowed her to see if people have idols and said she would use it for me (I think she said this to everyone). I don't think Elle, Moth or Rachel suspect me playing both sides hard, but who knows. I really don't know who I should work with. I was thinking about making a big move and flipping to my new "Lucky Charms" alliance with Moth, Elle, Ginnifer, Rachel and potentially Julia, but it could be too early for that. The sad thing is I want to work with Rachel and Elle for sure but they aren't in my core alliance. I am suspicious of Gian because he seems to be playing pretty hard and he isn't aligned to me much. Madi and I don't talk much so that gets me worried as well. Raffy is super fun, but he is a big threat in this game. I honestly think it is just Steven keeping me with that group because he is my #1 in this game. I honestly am finding it hard to figure out who I want to work with because I like everyone in this game!!!!! I just can't get caught in the middle or I am hecked.

Raffy

The plan went off without a hitch. I did waste an idol, but now no one can say that I have one. I am considering telling my alliance that I have the "Safety Without Power" so that they don't have any reason to distrust me. It might have hit a sour note with them to find out I had an idol that I didn't tell them about. Gian didn't seem to mind, but most people put on an act in this game. It would be a hard decision, however, since they can easily use that against me at the next tribal. I hope that neither Julia nor Ginnifer win immunity. Julia speaks for itself. I am targeting her, and I want her gone. However, Ginnifer has now alarm bells ringing in my ear. DeNara told Steven and I that Ginnifer wants us GONE. Like, Ginnifer is on some sort of vendetta mission to take us out. While we don't have the exact reasoning, we can assume that she is targeting us for simply being winners. She seems to think that we think we're master manipulators and puppet masters who need to be brought down a peg. Here's the thing with that kind of logic though. It isn't going to work with people who don't care about us being winners. My allies don't care, and they are even ratting on you to me. I love DeNara. She's a great ally. I told Steven that maybe we should reconsider our target and make it Ginnifer. He seems down, but he doubts there would be numbers (as do I). Speaking of numbers, I need to be way more social than I already am. I don't have as much social capital as Steven or Madi or DeNara. So, I am going to start with the people who are probably near the bottom of people's ally list or are considered non-factors: Elle, Moth, and Anastasia. If I get in good with them, I can gain some solid numbers. Moth and Elle had no idea about the split, so I had to do some damage control. Whether that worked... I have no idea. However, I need to be more transparent with them so that I can gain their trust for future tribals. Plus, I am pretty sure that Elle has an idol.

Julia

BITCHES THOUGHT I WAS DOWN AND OUT FOR THE COUNT. Found another idol baby. I’m basically Rick devens. Anastasia is going to use her stupid magic beans on me again though but I simple don’t care. Let them know I have an idol great. Then they’re going to have to figure out who they want to vote for instead, which will create massive cracks for me to work around. I love this

Ginny

Since I went to exile I was safe from a tribal council on the first round of merge then when I got back I saw pietro was voted off in a chaotic tribal council but I’m in many different alliances but I’m choosing the original warriors alliance because warriors strong duh

Raffy

I did not win this immunity challenge which sucks. I think I might want to use my SWP because if I don't then I'm just going to be a target everyone wants for now. And I want to at least make single digits. I told my alliance of Gian, Madi, DeNara, and Steven about my SWP to gain their trust after not telling them about my idol. And if I do plan to use it this round, it doesn't hurt to tell them about to plan around this. I've been focusing a lot more on socializing, so we'll see if it garners me any favor to not be voted out. Julia has tried reaching out. I think I want to get her to target Ginnifer since the latter is coming after me.

DeNara

Heck ya, I may win individual immunity today! I find out soon if I will be competing in a tie breaker challenge to see if I win. I sure hope I do, I would feel great!

DeNara

I am playing the middle so hard right now I may end up getting voted out because of it... oof

Raffy

The vote should be unanimously Julia. I threw Ginnifer under the bus to Julia so that... she doesn't vote for me. Though, I doubt she has an idol. Plus, if she does, we are going to ask Anastasia to play a bean on her to see if she does. DeNara told me about an alliance with Ginnifer, Elle, Moth, Rachel, and herself. Apparently, Rachel is getting suspicious of Gian and Madi because they didn't tell her about the split vote. This works in my favor as it splits the newbie tribe a little bit because Gian and Madi seemed very pressed about it. This will sow the seeds of implosion for the newbies. The planned boot order would be Julia then Ginnifer. Apparently, Ginnifer, Elle, and Moth are a trio (but Ginnifer is the only person who cares about it). I'm not too concerned, but I am going to keep an eye on Rachel too now.

Ginny

Since I went to exile I was safe from a tribal council on the first round of merge then when I got back I saw pietro was voted off in a chaotic tribal council but I’m in many different alliances but I’m choosing the original warriors alliance because warriors strong duh

Julia

I miss Pietro so much, it’s so fun deciding which person to send to jury with him tonight

Julia

GOD THIS IS FUN. Bitches being saying straight up in the tribe chat, oh I’m voting for Julia. Hwuxixkejwor this is actually so funny. I’m idoling elles ass out tonight and feeling absolutely no remorse

Elle

Not Julia coming for me within an inch of my life and then denying it 💀💀💀.

Moth

Holy fuck

I literally leave for 20 minutes and suddenly people are arguing and demanding tribal happens now Like noooooooo I hate this so much I need to do an exam in 20 minutes

DeNara

What in the actual F is happening. All I was doing was trying to get ready for work and Julia just full on started calling everyone out. Apparently Rachel tried to make an alliance with Julia and included me in on it, then Julia sent that to Raffy. So I had to try and do damage control and try and get Rachel to stop talking to Julia. THEN apparently Julia tried to frame Elle as trying to plot against Ginny which isnt true and now EVERYBODY is fighting in the tribe chat. Like this is so crazy rn. I just hope me playing the middle doesn't heck me over. I may need to ditch one side to save my game.... rip me

Anastasia

This isn't really my drama. I am a spectator and my name is out of peoples mouths which is perfect. I really don't understand what just happened. Like I saw Julias and Ginnys texts but I don't understand what it means lol. I will probably quietly ask around what people thought of it and vote with them as to lay low and stuff. Don't worry, I am going to plan to get someone threatening out soon. I'm still new at this and I'm learning everyday what to say and what not to say. But hopefully I can try to convince people to get out my target (raffy) next round. He really needs to go because he dominated the last org. He is too good at this game and if people ignore that he literally won half of the challenges and the entire game last org they are dumb. Luckily we have Rachel that keeps winning immunity so none of the actual targets get it. But of course, this is a concern. Rachel might have to go at some point sadly.

Julia

https://youtu.be/8EPTKjTqKFQ

Elle

Okay... so today I decided to pop off a bit (may be related to me being a little Done with irl stuff but that's not what this is about lol). Ginny came into our alliance with Moth DeNara and Rachel (we have another one without Rachel bc she's kinda on Julia's side/helped kick James off/p sure she knew what Anastasia's beans did and lied to us so she's very sus but we're keeping her close for now) and guns blazing was like "so I heard all of you were gonna vote me off" to which i was like ?? and then she said Julia told her I was a ringleader convincing everyone to vote Ginny out which. Incorrect. My now one and only goal in these games is to get Julia out and avenge James that's IT 😂 . And I have told so many people today but 👏🏽I👏🏽Am👏🏽Too👏🏽Dumb👏🏽To👏🏽Be👏🏽Conniving👏🏽. The idea that I could be a ringleader is hilarious honestly, and the idea that I would vote for anyone except Julia until she's out even more so. Anyway, I went into the tribe chat and said "So I've heard that there's a question as to who I'm voting, or who I'm endorsing, so I just want to clarify: *I'm voting for Julia* that is all ^_^" bc all I have is my word and the fact that I'm voting for Julia isn't a secret or anything lol. This got things very spicy at 11am and I'm sorry for everyone that had a class or job 😂 including me lol. me? missing an entire half of my class because survivor drama is way more interesting than typography? it's more likely than you think! We didn't end up having tribal right then and there even though I think about half of us were yelling for it 😂 (sorry again for the people at work or school idk why i woke up today and chose violence ajkjakhlalsjsj) We got on call with Julia to give us receipts but eh I don't trust it At all. Mostly because the receipts she gave weren't on the same stuff we were talking about??? Like she was calling out Raffy and Steven in them but that's not even where the convo started 😒. And nothing about how I'm this all-powerful ringleader trying to shoot someone down from my original tribe. I have to laugh. Anyway, I hope she goes tonight, if not it better be me bc this is getting 🎶frustrating🎶 and l am a complete angel until you talk shit about me or one of my closest allies and then you better be prepared for war it's that simple 😇

Moth

Julia claims that I refuse to talk to her when she legit hasn’t even reach out at all since the swap- like o k my dude- Jesus this is nuts

Julia

Why are people so obsessed with me 🤩

They really started a whole fight with me in the tribe chat today. It’s honestly super frustrating. But I think this could be good for me maybe? I think Elle is getting idoled out tonight, and then Ginny is still here. And Ginny has proved she’s a liar and a snake and is really chaotic so maybe she’ll be seen as a liability going forward

Gian

Rachel is trying to flip. Julia & Ginny are dangerous blabber mouths. The warriors won't take out one of their own and we still barely have majority. This is getting messssssssssy.

Madi

hey hey so heres the tea rachel is being a mf snake because she feels “betrayed” bc we “lied” to her for the pietro vote but like sis..... we didn’t LIE we just left out some details also have now tried to pin onto her that she has the other idol also so much tea went down while I was at work??????? it was pretty spicy but im just happy my name was nowhere near that I hope rachel does not start working with juli bc that would truly suck but having elle and moth and anastasia as numbers for us is very very good also anastasia has kinda gone AWOL and idk how much longer we are going to be able to keep her in too much longer but thats another story for another time I am scared people are starting to murmur my name, I might just be paranoid but Idk I hope this julia vote goes well

Raffy

This morning, Elle took to the tribe chat to confirm that she is voting Julia. This is because, according to Ginnifer, Julia has been telling Ginnifer that Elle was trying to ring leader Ginnifer's vote out. Ginnifer also got in on the action by saying that Julia is a liar and trying to snake other people. As it turns out, Ginnifer might just be paranoid, but, at the end of the day, whatever makes the target on Julia bigger.

Steven

https://youtu.be/2NGxkNjrGdk

Rachel

this game is so mentally draining. even if i've won immunity, i certainly don't feel safe. julia blew up the game by telling secrets, and it hurts cause i felt like i could trust her. i hate that i'm seeing viewing this game so personally, but i feel that i have lost such an epic battle and it is so frustrating.

Elle

Still the same tribal in a little less than an hour... I feel like I went a lot wild today, sure hope it isnt enough for everyone to switch and vote me out 🤷🏽‍♀️ I very well might be next after Julia though, or that's the paranoia. Idk, I miss pre-merge when I was just playing games with friends and not going to tribal 😂. Now it feels like a Lord of the Flies or Danganropa RPG and I feel like I let the craziness get to me a little. I don't know what's gonna happen, but I don't really ever know really. I'm tired 😅 and want to maybe read some fanfic before whatever happens next (maybe I'll have a lot more time to read fanfic after this lol).

DeNara

Seems like this morning's craziness is calmed down a lot to the point of making people nervous because it is so quiet. I am hoping the plan is still to vote out Julia, but I am sad she is going. I do like her a lot as a person. Hopefully she doesn't take any of this personally!

[jaybug-jabbers]

Bug Run 7: Comments & Movesets

The movesets and comments on each of the pokemon on my team can be found below!

Gaz the Vikavolt

Thunderbolt/Bug Buzz/Volt Switch/Dig – Choice Specs

As my selected starter, Gaz had a pretty tumultuous start to the team. She did not pack much of a punch in the beginning. Certainly, Grubbin is strong when compared to Caterpie, Wurmple and other grub-based pokemon. But this strength is still not much when compared to the early trials she had to face. As such, her alliance with Ledyba at the very start of the game was essential. This support helped carry her through the difficult early stages of soft, squishy vulnerability.  

Something that also helped was my choice to obtain a Grubbin with a Brave nature. While Vikavolt is a very specialized special attacker, its previous stages are physical attackers. This may seem odd, but it actually mimics nature, in a way; part of why insects undergo metamorphisis in the first place and have immature forms very different from adult forms is because they can occupy different environmental niches. Thus, it’s not so strange, and it makes sense to embrace her physical attack in her early stages, when she was still such an important member of the small team. I had some concerns that late game, this choice may eventually end up a liability, but at the moment, I had to do what I could to survive.

It was my great relief that once Grubbin evolved into Charjabug, she became quite the little powerhouse. Spark was an incredibly welcome piece of move diversity to the team that hit crucial foes, and while she was slow, she had great defenses for that stage of the game. This was only improved when somebody generously handed me an Eviolite. She began contributing in a major way to the team, dishing out hard hits and helping me survive hits in equal turn. Her Acrobatics was also a welcome coverage move, especially against fellow bug foes and fighting types.

It took quite some time before I could reach the mountain that would allow Gaz to evolve into her final form. Like the pokemon itself, Gaz had a bit of a slow start. But once she got rolling, she could become quite unstoppable. Her evolution into Vikavolt had us saying goodbye to the spunky little toothy battery and hello to a full-on railgun.

As mentioned, Vikavolt is very specialized, putting almost all its stats investment into its special attack. When compared to the average electric type pokemon, it’s also disappointingly slow. I always felt salty about that fact when Vikavolt was first released, and so never used it during Sun/Moon. That said, I am glad I finally gave it a chance during this run. Vikavolt may be slow, but there’s no denying that its raw spec. attack power allowed me to fell many foes. This became especially the case when I traded Gaz’s Eviolite in for a pair of Choice Specs. Gaz was a very regular and extremely important contributor to the core team. With a little bit of team support– screens and stun spores and tailwinds and the likes– it could also help her overcome speed issues and set her up for even greater success. With her typing, she was often the sole defender able to take out dangerous Flying types, and a welcome destroyer of incredibly common water types.

She also was a good answer to facing off against fellow Electric types, and not simply because of a resistence and immunity to paralysis; she also picks up the move Dig. This is a physical move, and so doesn’t seem a big deal, but it actually ended up being quite the advantage. It didn’t play off her biggest strength but a really good coverage move is still coverage, and it was often enough to check electric types. The fact that she was Brave nature probably helped, as it ended up even as an adult she was still using her attack after all.

All in all, I would say that if used correctly, this railgun bug can be a truly potent critter to face down in battle.

Protoman the Ledian

Light Screen/Reflect/Tailwind/Air Slash – Light Clay

Purely support pokemon kind of go against my play style. But there’s really no way around it– Ledian was always intended as just a support. He’s a team player. He ‘s only there to set up others for success, not to bask in any glory himself. And with limited choices in the grass beside my house, I just couldn’t go at things with Gaz alone. I tried to, absolutely. But Gaz just couldn’t face all those critters solo. She needed some help. And Ledyba was there to give it.

There’s no doubt that Protoman allowed us to get through the early game. He was even taking out pokemon solo at first. And once he picked up screens, he provided an essential service to the team. For a lopsided mono-bug team full of mostly slow teamembers, screens made an enormous difference; often the difference between utter failure and success. Their value really can’t be overstated.

I did feel … bad, though. There was something heroic about Ledian endlessly opening as my starter to get up screens and then faint. It was a huge self-sacrifice to the team, whose eventual victories he was rarely even awake to witness, but it also was kind of sad. With that kind of tireless support and putting others in the spotlight, Protoman deserved a lot of praise. He was playing with the big boys in Alola, a weak Johto bug far from home, but he was still contributing something major and meaningful. I went out of my way to feed him beans and pet him as much as I could without raising affection too high. (I don’t want affection to influence my runs, since that can sometimes score extra critical hits, 1 HP survivals, etc.) Give him massages and so forth. He deserved some love– heck, he sure fainted enough for it. Never once complained a peep about it, too.

Eventually, towards late game, my tireless ladybug guardian was starting to have a hard time even getting screens up. A lot of the foes simply outsped him and wiped him out. I shifted some of the support duties onto other pokemon. Despite all of that, however, Protoman got a few windows even during the final battles with the elites to get his job done. I suspect during post-game, his role will become entirely obsolete … but perhaps that will just allow Protoman to enjoy his retirement. He certainly earned it.

Ms. Sidle the Ribombee

Bug Buzz/Dazzling Gleam/Quiver Dance/Tailwind – Silver Powder

I love Ribombee. I just freaking love it. Look at it. It’s adorable. Aaaahhhhggh. I need a plushie of one. When they were first announced I was so hyped. Bee flies are awesome. They deserve to have a pokemon based off them, especially one as adorable as Ribombee. I’m not normally a fan of fairy types at all, but Ribombee is perfect.

Now that you know my bias, you can perhaps understand my disappointment in her attack prowess. Her special attack is good, and does a lot of damage, but it’s never QUITE enough to get the job done. It always needs a little bit of a bump. “No problem,” you say, “Just use her Quiver Dance!” And that is a potential solution, yes. But Ribombee is frail, lacking in any real bulk. Quiver Dance cannot be depended upon on a regular basis. She often needs to just get in, do her thing, and get out– or faint, as is the case more often then not.

So that is what she did. She was a regular contributer to the team, getting in big chunks of damage, but rarely quite getting the kills solo. As such, she either softened up pokemon for her teammates to finish off, or she added the final blow to pokemon that were already softened up. She also had something special that nobody else on the team had:

Speed.

In Alola, everybody tends to take things pretty dang slow. Including the pokemon. Nobody is in any hurry, even in battles, it seems. So for a fast Alolan pokemon, well, that is truly something special. And for my team, it’s something essential. In fights, speed is often key, after all. Things were especially dicey when facing down pokemon from Kanto or Johto or other regions, as they tended to outpace the islanders easily. So Sidle’s job very often was to get in a quick hit or to set up a screen or to Stun Spore especially dangerous pokemon and make them more managable for my pokey little bugs. In the late game, when I got fed up with Stun Spore missing too often, I tutored Tailwind onto her to do the job.

Part of me is still a little bummed out, though, that Ms. Sidle can’t claim more of the glory herself. It’s great to have her on the team, and she does a lot to help out, but I wish … she was more of a starring role than an important support pokemon.

Perhaps someday, my sweet little Sidle will claim a little piece of glory all for herself, too.

Dipper the Ariados

Toxic/Protect/Sucker Punch/Poison Jab – Black Sludge

If Ribombee and Ledian had a bit of a hard time as support pokemon, then Dipper had the worst time.

This poor lad never seemed to hit his stride on the team. Slower then even many Alolan pokes and stuck with very low base power damaging moves for quite some time, Ariados really struggled. Teaching him Leech Life (a move that gets an amazing power buff in this gen) helps him along eventually, but not by much. He just wasn’t giving enough of anything– speed, defenses, attack, movepool diversity.

Dipper ended up falling into a role that nobody should have to be stuck with as a pernament job– fodder. Needed a safe switch-in? Toss Dipper out there. Needed somebody to eat up a z-move or a First Impression? Dipper will do it for ya. Need to potion up at an opportune moment because your foe had done so earlier? Dipper will give you the chance.

Eventually, I picked up the TM for Toxic, and assigned Dipper a toxic stall role. He managed to perform this some of the time, at least for a little while. These moments sometimes helped us land important victories against powerful foes, such as the totem Kommo-o or Ultra Necrozma. But very often, Dipper didn’t even get the chance to get his toxic off, so eventually the role slipped away from him.

Even in the end, at the hands of the elites, Dipper was serving as important fodder, but I had wanted so much more for him. He deserved a chance to actually shine. With the main game complete, my hope is that during post-game … well. Maybe. Maybe he can do something besides faint.

Neptune the Araquanid

Liquidation/Reflect/Lunge/Mirror Coat – Waterium

Neptune started out during an opportune time on the team, joining us in Akala after defeating the water totem (his own kin), and just in time for tackling a fire-type area and a fire-type totem. Despite the fact that Araquanid actually has very modest attack for a physical attacker (base of 70), he was a dependable and stalwart fighter on my team. With his typing, it meant some important resistances and STABs, and with his sky-high special defense (Araquanid’s specialty), it meant a lot of survivability. With his ability (Water Bubble), it also meant important advantages over fire moves (can’t be burned, halves fire damage). He was regularly cleaning out opponents, even with the handicap of his best water move being Bubble Beam, a special attack. The Waterium he held often is what bumped up Bubble Beam enough to make it finish the job. (His ability, Water Bubble, also gives a major bump to his water moves.) It felt like a ridiculous amount of time before he finally earned Liquidation, a physical water move that truly took advantage of his potential. It was just in time for the Elite Four, and I was thankful for the added advantage.

Araquanid has a disappointingly shallow movepool and virtually nothing in the way of viable coverage options, unless you’re very intent on killing fairies (Poison Jab). He’s also as slow as many Alolan pokemon, so don’t count on outspeeding much with this spider. That said, he still occupies a niche. His Water Bubble-powered Liquidation truly gets impressive results, and he has the bulk and moves for possibly some particular strats (Mirror Coat, chesto-resto/sleep talk, etc. with aqua ring & lefties support, tox & infestation stall/trapping, etc.) He will live long enough to do real work on your team, and I was very happy to have him around. Plus, look, his design is cool as heck. He’s a badass.

Luciel the Golisopod

Liquidation/Iron Head/Sucker Punch/First Impression – Sitrus Berry

Ah, and now what is no doubt the ace of the team, Golisopod. Do I even need to say anything about him? This magnificent creature has incredible attack and defense, among the highest of all bugs. He has a fascinating set of strats that go along with his Ability (which involve abusing First Impression) and a cadre of priority moves to offset his low speed, including his signature First Impression, a +2 priority bug move with 90 basepower. He has an incredibly diverse movepool and the stats to take full advantage of it. He has options if you want to stave off Emergency Exit (including berries and HP-stealing moves like the buffed Leech Life). He has a water typing, a boon for all-bug teams needing to deal with fire types. He’s flexible, he’s powerful, and he’s freaking awesome.

This beast was, of course, the biggest powerhouse on my team. Although the moveset I carried has Iron Head and that’s a lovely move to have, he also sometimes carried Brick Break instead as his coverage move. In terms of types that Brick Break hits, it covers even more common types you run into. Specifically, it gives you something to use against Steel and Normal in addition to the Ice and Rock that Iron Head gives you (and obviously hitting Dark types isn’t a challenge for Golisopod). However, I kept Iron Head around for fairies while I was waiting to pick up Poison Jab for Ariados or Araquanid. As for his other moves, Liquidation is a fantastic water STAB, First Impression is way too cool not to use, and I like Sucker Punch because I love extra priority once you’ve used your turn of First Impression. This was especially crucial on a team as terribly slow as mine was– I honestly used Sucker Punch all the time.

This guy is such a joy to use. I never tire of it. He’s the best thing to happen to gen 7, along with Guzma. Needless to say, he was the keystone of the team and not only did he help us through this game– he shall go far beyond it, bashing faces at the Battle Tree and no doubt joining me on future bug teams to come.

This is a repost on a new blog. The original post was on Aug 14, 2019.

[bb-bigbang-org]

EPISODE 3 - “The bottom line: I really hope that this is the week where Drew goes.” - CODY

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 10:

Parting Words: Before the eviction, Ashley DMed me with some parting knowledge. She said she knows she is being evicted, but to make sure I watch out for Joe because he is well-liked and a "wild-card". She said he's close with Brooke, Kayla, Mandi, & Frosby and they may feel like they owe him. None of this surprises me, it is similar to what Austin told me yesterday. I do wonder if there's another alliance that Frosby is in with Joe. I do still trust Frosby and I believe that he has my best interest at heart, even if there is something else going on. I may just ask him straight up if there's another alliance.

Eviction: Ashley was evicted on a unanimous vote. I don't have much to say about this. She must have gotten herself in a bad position with both sides of the house. That's unfortunate. I wonder what's going to happen with her dying star. She messaged me before leaving so maybe she likes me, and she might give it to me. But I don't necessarily want it because I have a chance of getting the disadvantage too…

AUSTIN

Omg yessssssssss! Lukas winning is one of the best outcomes that could ever happen for me this week.  Having a second alliance with mandi and drew I feel will be good for me long term in the game as well. I like everyone in the game but they are some ppl I dont trust.  Brook, joe,frosby,and katrina are ppl I'm watching out for. ik trying to keep brook close to me tho just incase maybe she actually does wanna work together.  

CODY

I’m loving this idea that Lukas has come up with about getting the house to cast votes on who they want to go. Because my blow up with Drew I think did plant some seeds that he’s not really an asset in this game. And from what I’ve heard people are looking to throw some votes at him, which means that if he finishes in the top 2 of this. And Lukas is a man of his word, then Drew goes up on the block

The downside is that I’ve been the biggest character so far in this game. It’s been majorly impossible for me to slide under the radar though I have tried ever since I got saved. After Austin saved me I’ve been trying to be super chill and I think I’ve done a good job at it so hopefully people will realise that there’s bigger fish to fry in this game than myself. I actually think the fact that I’ve been on the block twice in this game could be something that people won’t respect and I might be able to twist it in my favour and say that I’m not going to win because everybody keeps nominating me “I’m such a joke”, who knows it might actually work. Will just have to wait and see...

Lukas did express interest in wanting to save me last week had he won power of veto however he did approach me after the blowup with Drew saying it probably wouldn’t be a smart move for him however my argument would be that if Drew is truly playing a bad social game I don’t think saving me would have been that big of a hindrance in the game

The bottom line: I really hope that this is the week where Drew goes. He’s my biggest liability in this game and has no allegiance to me or any of my people. And the longer he stays in the worse off myself and my people are....

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 11:

HOH Strategy: I am wary about winning the HOH this week because I feel like I am sort of sitting in between two sides of the house. Austin seems to trust me and come to me with information, but I have an alliance with Cody, and they are enemies. For the comp, I tried to get decent scores that I didn't think would win. Last time I tried that, I placed 2nd out of 16 players though... I'm nervous!

HOH Results: Lukas won HOH again. He is probably putting a target on his back winning 2/3 HOHs, but that's not my problem. I'm okay with this win. I don't think he'll come after me because he talks to me fairly often. He may go after Cody because he's already put him up and it'd be safer than putting new blood on his hands. But I think we'll have to just see what happens. He just said "This HOH is going to work a little different, so stay tuned!" What does that mean??

Lukas's Announcement - Lukas has decided to put his nominations up to a house vote. That's probably the smartest way for him to mitigate risk from being HOH twice already. I feel even more okay after this because I feel like there are definitely bigger targets in this house than me. I feel pretty safe from nomination this week...

Andy's Realization: After discussing the nomination votes with the Syndicate alliance, Andy brought up a really good point about this Lukas thing. He may be trying to put a smaller target on his back by asking the house who they want out. But really he's gaining a lot of information from everyone about who they want gone. He could figure out what the alliances are based on who answers the same. So, we are going to each put slightly different votes to try to deflect suspicion.

Brooke: Apparently Brooke messaged Cody saying she's going to suggest that I go up because I never reply to her DMs. I want to be upset by this but she's kinda right, I don't really answer her DMs because usually she doesn't say much so I don't have anything meaningful to respond to…

ANDREW

I’m going to start with this. I hated Lukas “google form” on how he’s going to make his decision. Nevertheless, He was “a man of his word” and made his decision based on how the house voted. I’m really surprised with the results. Or am I? 

I got 0 votes, that is wonderful, my under the radar (UTR) strategy is going great. SYNDICATE is my main alliance, but I know it can die. WHATS THE TEA is my spy alliance, I want to keep Brooke close, I trust mandi 100%, she talks straight up, but Brooke is very calculated with her words, I can’t trust her, so I need someone I can trust with someone I don’t, to make them feel comfortable, and when I have the opportunity, strike. LONG CON. FUNFRESHFAB is my underdog alliance, I’m very certain this two girls are alone in the game, and if not, is good to have all wild cards in one room. I like small alliances, right now. With these two alliances. I can pick off at least KAYLA  and DREW. 

More later.. xoxo 🥥 

DESIREE

I keep losing track of if I submitted...sorry if this is a duplicate

Daily Thoughts for Day 12:

I was nominated over Cody...are you freaking kidding meeeeeeeeee? Ugh I'm super annoyed right now. I hope that I'm not the target here. Lukas's HOH strategy is just a mess, and if the intention was to stay without blood on his hands, it really backfired. We see through this strategy and recognize how much information he just collected. I don't know what I'm going to do, though... I just have to try hard for POV. If Austin wins, I wonder if he would use it, and if so on who? I'm guessing he's closer with Kayla than with me, but we do still talk game often...so I don't know..

CODY

Well shit I got put on the block for a second time in this game

And I genuinely don’t have much hope whatsoever that I’ll be saved sadly...I am still trying to scramble however it’s just not likely and I’m at peace with it. It does suck that Drew is gonna get the last laugh on me I really wanted to send that guy home after he screwed me and then went on to alienate himself from me and my people

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 13:

POV Competition: That competition had me majorly stressed. I spent hours preparing and I still didn't do as much as I would have liked. If time was a factor, I'd be screwed. But, overall I think I did okay. My strategy was to try to cut the pool in half with each question.

Pre-POV Results Thoughts: Austin said he would use the POV on me if he wins because he wants to work with me. I'm not sure if he actually will, but if he does win I need to prepare my allies for the possibility of him using it on me, so they don't think I'm doing something sneaky behind my back. I never approached Austin to work with him, but he messages me every day telling me his plans and now wants to help me, so why would I turn that down? I could use that to my advantage and help my allies.

POV Ceremony: I was sooooooo close to winning that POV and that frustrates me a lot. Brooke won, who is buddy buddy with Kayla, so it was obvious that she would take Kayla off the block. My only saving grace is that Cody was the replacement nominee and I think it's pretty obvious that he's a bigger threat than me.

Campaigning For Votes: I have talked to the other members of the Syndicate alliance and they have both agreed to vote Cody out instead of me. Austin also messaged me and said that he is for sure voting Cody and he is pushing for others to do the same. Kayla told me even before the POV ceremony that she would vote for me to stay over Cody if she had the option. I have also heard that Chloe and Katrina are voting out Cody as well. So, if everyone is telling the truth, then I'll be safe. I won't feel safe until the votes are read, though.

FROSBY

So ya with Cody and Desiree up on the Block for this elimination this just fucking sucks for me right now. Like really is the worst for my game. I mean I knew Cody would eventually go, that's why I was keeping him around was to be a vote shield for as long as I could keep him around. Now it looks like he is gone for good which I mean is better than seeing Desiree go, and I mean at this point with how many people voted for Desiree she might just become me and Andrews new vote shield. All I know is Andrew and I were sitting pretty in our 4 man alliance with Cody and Desiree and now this whole vote thing Lukas did really screwed over the Syndicate alliance. The good news is the alliance is designed to be the under the radar players all teaming up and working together without anyone knowing about us. That plan can still work without Cody, it actually might be a lot easier to work without Cody, because if Desiree can slide back into the shadows after this vote us 3 can quietly make a Final 6 if we play our cards right and not make any enemies and I know Andrew is good at not making enemies as for Desiree, seeing 6 different people vote for her in the Lukas poll makes me think she isn't as Under the Radar as I thought.  Oh well we will see how this vote goes, I'm thinking about making a play to just vote against Desiree with Katrina, just to make the vote 9-2 but then both of us just deny it like crazy and act like we have no idea who those 2 votes are and create more chaos in the house that I, Katrina and Andrew can all use to hide under. (again this idea is in the back of my mind but I probably won't do it idk yet, I might feel a little silly when I cast my vote this afternoon so we will see)  

MANDI

i wish we could get the votes to flip again. that would really stir up the house.😂 but only 2 other people are on board with me.

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 13:

Smear Campaign: I woke up today to the news that Cody has been running a smear campaign against me. He is telling people that I was the one pushing to vote Kayla out. Meanwhile, Cody was the one who first mentioned targeting Kayla. It seems like they aren't believing the lies, which is great, but I wonder what else he's saying that I haven't heard about...

Eviction: So, the vote was 10-1 and Cody was evicted. Thank goodness. I mean, I figured it would go that way, but you just never know. Before Cody left, he said he was lying about it being his birthday. What a piece of work... Getting to know him he seemed like a good guy, I just wish he didn't play the villain so much.

HOH Competition: That competition was so hard and I need to work on my typing skills. Pretty sure there's no way I'm winning this one.😞 Hopefully one of my other alliance members wins…

WEEK 3 CAST ASSESSMENT 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u39yg_9iHUQ

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 12 - “MADISON IS THE CANCER THAT NEEDS TO BE CUT OUT” - Ian

I had a 3 hour long call with Corey to debrief me on all the alliances he has been apart of getting made, the "Mighty Kids" meal or whatever they are calling themselves and the "Gayish" alliance, Corey, Madison, Kait, Thomas and Devon then Trace, Matt Corey and Madison respectively.  I love the information share. Corey is really buying what Madison is selling and that is quite obvious to me, that's a battle for another day, the first battle is getting Matt out to open the game up.  Corey told me that Madison really want's Timmy out next round but we discussed that it would not be ideal given the circumstances of numbers/alliances and our true game desires.  We need people that will vote against Matt, Again thank you Matt for working with me even though you're not for saying Corey is a threat. Check your game buddy.  The current plan is to take out Trace next round, bleed Matt, then take out Matt the next round. Ideally we make both these moves happen without burning any of our advantages but if we have to we will.  Trace burned me for Matt, he has to go. 

---

What I need to do is get all the "untouchables" working together, Maynor, Timmy, Cullan, and Chips. The people that aren't in those alliances that Corey told me about. The problem is how to go about it organically without blow back on Corey for me knowing that this group of people are who others have written off as a boot list.

Stephen going was sad but he was totally rude to Chips. Like idk. But it looks like im good standing right now. Theres an alliance with me Kait Matt Timmy and Owen. Which is great and Ian wants to work with me as well. Corey wants to watch each others backs. I feel like i can make it far just need to be really smart. Timmy and I working together is so great since our other 2 games we killed each other. This challenge is going alright. Its not that bad. Ive beat level one.

MADISON IS THE CANCER THAT NEEDS TO BE CUT OUT, ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS TRIBE GOES THROUGH HER. EVERYONE BOUGHT WHAT SHE WAS SELLING. I'm about to fully embrace that every vote Madison gets this season is going to be mine, the Topaz idol is switched back to be wanting to be used on her instead of Matt

Cullan killed that flash game. Props to him. I on the other had sucked but i finished one though. This tribal has been very quiet. Owen mentioned that the names were Thomas and Chips. Like Thomas likes me so i know it sucks but i would rather have Chips go. Gunna play it by ear tho.

My name is being thrown out because I have been inactive. Well sorry for having a job, going to school, and having a social life, I wish I could be just like them looollll

Supposedly the alliance of 6 is doing Trace, them plus me is 7 and it's a done deal. I'm a bit nervous long term about doing this move because it's really counting on Corey to pull through with the Bull and the Lion long term and will be on board to eat the Mighty Kids meal fuck all alliance after we get Matt out. Seriously if we can pull off the two player swing of voting off Trace and Matt, the people I've coined as the untouchables/undesirables could nab some power in the game. Again that heavily requires Corey to be ready to fly by the seat of his chair and eat the six. If he's not, then I'm sure Devon will be itching to do a move by then. Devon, my KS guy, don't fail me when I'll need you the most.

I have a lot of feelings and it's been a while since I confessed I feel. So Stephen voted Thomas because I told him to so I feel happy about that because he wanted to vote Owen or Matt and I said he wouldn't be able to get motion with those so do Thomas. Moving into today's vote. I wish Cullan didn't win immunity because I would love to vote him out...we don't click so he can go. I had heard Chips and Thomas which works for me bc I'm not working with them but now apparently Trace is throwing out Owen's name and I'm like wtf because I asked Trace what he has heard and he made no mention of this so I guess we're not close like I thought we were. Either way I'm sticking with my alliance on this one because they are the people I truly trust so let's make some waves.

It looks like the move now is to do Trace. Timmy and I are conflicted because we really like Trace but he could be a liability for us because he throws a name for some people and a different name to others. And people in our I miss Borders booksellers want to do Trace right now. Hopefully it works out for Timmy and I. 

Everything went well last round, 12-1-1 which was almost expected EXCEPT I got a vote!!! Honestly I’m not completely convinced it was Trace.... idk. It seems bold of him to do. I figure either he did it in case Stephen had an idol, OR someone else did it to pin on trace or something. Either way I don’t care, I really turned that vote into a good thing because it gave me an excuse to talk to others about targeting trace hehe :) bye bye! No more hot guys on my island! Ew that was gross of me this Island is actually kait’s hehe. Ummm I rlly love her so much we bitched about everyone last night. It’s hard that her and I have all these allies that in the long run will go after each other but for now we are making t work. Hopefully trace goes tonight and then next round I’ll rllt have to deal with corey targeting matt. Speaking of, I do really love corey and I came into this with every intention of working with him as my number one, but it’s hard when he made other allies oremerge . He’s protecting Cullan and Ian? Neither of which I need in this game. And Kait just has been honest with me about stuff I feel Idk. I feel like her and I are more on the save wavelength than corey and I . But as long as I can keep them both here the better. I did tell Kait some stuff corey said not to tell her lmao including Cullan being after her.... oop idk. As wary as I am about my connection with matt, I did tell him about the idol and I did trust him with this trace vote. I think it’s going well with him but I rlly don’t want to go to the end with him and Kait kinda does eeeej. Madison I love but she tried to get Timmy out this round hehe rightfully so. Timmy has been SO GOOD TO ME!!!! I love him. And of course Maynor is still a bae too omg. I’m liking the people in this game more and more and I know it’ll get stressful but for now things might be looking up. It really looks like I’m getting exactly what is best for me two rounds in a row.... Can’t wait for something to go wrong!!!

This vote is the most nerve racking one yet. I essentially have to give up on my toeing the line and finally choose a side, and naturally I am choosing to side with my Survivor Wife Kait whomst I love. I like Trace a lot and the Queer Eye alliance with him Corey and Madison is cute, but like it’s time to frickin play and get rid of the threats in this game instead of letting life pass my by. That being said it’s quite insane that I must keep saving Thomas’s inactive ass! Kait is really adamant on keeping him but it’s frustrating sticking your neck out for someone who won’t so much as have a conversation to save themselves. I’m hoping to move forward with the Trio of Kait and Owen and myself, who currently have three advantages which is making me cackle! Let’s hope this vote rocks the boat in my favor or else I can see myself getting absolutely shafted once everyone compares notes and realizes I’m playing both sides.

Hi yes I choose violence. Sorry Trace. You have to go in order for me to get Matt out. I feel bad bc I genuinely did want to go far with him but it seems his alliances turned sour for my game! It should be 9-4 tonight, if everything goes to plan. Catch you on the flip side!

Today has been a pretty straight forward day. Now that I don’t have immunity I am a little nervous about the vote, but I am confident in the relationships that I have developed. I have been pushing Thomas since the beginning of the day. I think chips trusts me, and I don’t want to send him home quite yet. Everyone seems to be on the same page, so it looks like my work paid off. Let’s fucking move on tho and have another challenge I can actually win!

So this is pivotal for me. I really want Thomas out of this game. I don’t teust him and I do not feel like the game can progress worhba u comfort with him in it. Converse to that though my alliance would like to vote trace. However I have been informed that trace has made an alliance group with Matt Madison and Corey. Which obviously am not a fan of. So tonight is a tough choice. 

Assuming I do not get voted out tonight I will formally sit down and write what is going on in the game. I just have been busy this weekend so I apologize. The game picked up and stuff just as my school year was ending. As of this moment what I know is that the vote is between me and Thomas with the players leaning to Thomas. I was told Thomas was the dummy vote by Kait and Matt who want to work with me and not make an "easy" vote this round just because and want to vote Trace. I'm for it even though I've only gotten positive vibes from Trace simply because it would appear to make my time in the game longer. If I'm the possible vote this round via debate that means I AM the vote next time. Well I guess we will see.

okay so allegedly trace is leaving tonight, a move i'm quite happy with. trace mentioned owen's name last round and we all think that he's the one that threw the vote on owen last tribal. oh! and he mentioned tommy's name too so i have to protect my fellow scorpio fam. i got mad at corey today bc of all this shit that he's telling owen like cullan wanting me out but him talking him out of it apparently, and not telling me. it's just all this shit that;s building this massive amount of distrust for him. but for tonight we just have to bank on him i guess. i don't like it, but i'm not certain where to start with taking down his empire. our group with maynor, matt, and timmy is a good place to start. i'm beginning to think that's the truest shit i've got going for me. i don't know of anyone timmy is super close to other than like us, so i'm thinking we're his closest, or at least that's what he told me. IDK. i'm trying to think straight with tribal coming up but im just so damn nervous. i'm worried that someone told cullan who told trace, or someone told trace straight up and they've been plotting to get me or owen. i'd HOPE with how woven into people we are that we'd find out about it, but that's just a hope. manifesting that we will be okay and that cullan will leave next!

Ep 12 BYE BYE GEMINI! jk I feel kinda bad, and I honestly really wanted Timmy gone, but it is what it is. Another vote that’s not me is a win at this point. 

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Hail Mary, Part VIII

Premise: What if Jamie and Claire had 1) been more openly affectionate in those early days, and 2) not *had* to get married?

Part I  Part II  Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII

“Betrothed,” Jamie rasped as the clockwork wheels thudded into place in his mind. 

The Grants.

The delegation of Grants that Colum had been—

Colum nodded, smiling calmly, but his eyes were still narrowed in razor-sharp suspicion. “All settled, save the vows, and that comes tomorrow.” 

TOMORROW.

Colum had arranged for—

Fury. Raging, blistering fury tore through Jamie, and he had to grip the arm of his chair to keep from letting it explode from him. “Might I ask, uncle,” he said, with what he hoped was a good approximation of cordiality, “why ye didna think to seek my counsel on this before matters were ‘settled.’”  

The laird paused only a moment before answering, cool and collected. “Ye should be thanking me, wee Jamie. This is a good match. An important match.” 

“Important enough that it didna occur to ye to even ask my leave before selecting a wife for me?” Jamie tried to keep his voice steady but the waves of anger lurked barely below the surface. “Before determining the course of the remainder of my life?”

Colum’s words were still quiet, but as sharp as a knife blade through the still of the room. “You’re to be laird, Sheumais MacBrian. If it’s the remainder of your life, it’s the next life of the clan as well. As future leader of the MacKenzies, your life is not your own, anymore.”

Jamie snapped. 

“I’ve no intention to be laird, and my life is no one’s save my own, God’s, and those who have claim to my protection. I came here today only to inform ye that I’ve proposed marriage to Claire Beauchamp and she’s accepted.”

The silence before Colum spoke was excruciating. “Explain yourself,” he said delicately. “…boy.” 

“’Boy,’ it is?” Jamie couldn’t help a wry, scornful laugh. “A moment ago, I’m to be laird, and now –“

“And now,” Colum interrupted, his voice still alarmingly controlled, but the eyes showing the fire about to pour forth, “like a child, you’ll answer to your elders for your actions.”

Jamie bit back a retort that would certainly have sounded childish, and instead chose to remain silent.

Colum’s eyebrows were knitted hard. “She’s wi’ child, then?”  

“No! Christ—God in Heaven, no!” Jamie’s shock and embarrassment made his voice squeak like a wee lad. “I’ve no’ lain wi’ her. I swear it on my mother’s grave,” he said more sharply. 

“Doesna matter to me if you’ve swived a hundred lassies,” Colum said. “What matters is that ye deliberately deceived me here in this room three weeks ago in implying that your allegiance to the clan outweighed any liaison between you and Mistress Beauchamp.”  

Jamie couldn’t remain stoic in the face of Colum’s quietly seething wrath. “Aye, I did deceive ye, uncle, though wi’ no malice in my heart. See, it—” He took a deep breath. Everything, then. “I said those words in anger, but the feelings between Mistress Beauchamp and me are mutual, and have been growing for some time. On the road wi’ the rent party, we had a misunderstanding, and she left—then had a change of heart and chose to come back to see if the two of us might set things right. My heart was hard against her, that day here in the study wi’ Dougal, as you certainly will have seen, and I said what I did only so you and Dougal would understand the true reason why she left, and that there was no cause to suspect her of treachery.” He met his uncle’s eye directly. “But two days ago, Claire and I did set things right—more than right—and she agreed to become my wife.”

Colum nodded and reached for a quill. “An agreement that can easily be broken.”

Jesus, the calm and heartlessness of that statement. He all but snarled at his uncle,  “Absolutely not.”

“We’ll provide her wi’ a pension, if we must, to see that she’s—”

“No.” He was practically shouting, barely able to keep his seat. “I love her, uncle. I love Claire—and I came to speak wi’ ye today to tell ye so, and tell ye of my intention to marry her. I had no inkling of your designs for an alliance wi’ the Grants, and I’m sorry for the ill timing, but I’d never have consented even if Mistress Beauchamp were no’ involved. I’ll not be swayed—not for any price.”

Colum’s steely calm snapped and he snarled, leaning forward, white with rage, his finger pointed in accusation at Jamie’s face. “I got you your freedom—”

“Uncle, ye must—”

“—saved you from the noose, from rotting in prison,” he snarled, shaking his head slowly, like a beast about to charge, “and this, THIS is how ye repay me?”

“And I’m verra grateful,” Jamie said, marshaling his voice into calm, “but I didna—”

“Did ye think that I would risk my neck and clan and name only out of the goodness of my heart? Did ye think there would be no obligation expected of ye in return, boy?”

“If I deigned to presume,” Jamie hissed between teeth clenched so hard as to be painful, “the love for your own flesh and blood was enough to prompt such a kind deed, I do most humbly beg your pardon.”

“Love without duty is pure fancy,” Colum said bluntly. “Which is why ye will not be marrying Mistress Beauchamp.”

“I will be. You have my word on it.”

Colum’s mouth quirked up into a wry smile, the steely calm controlling his features once more. “Ye truly think ye can do this to me again wi’ no consequences?”

“Again?” Jamie laughed mirthlessly. “To my knowledge, I’ve never turned down a marriage arrangement from ye before.”

“But your mother did.”

Jamie stepped back and pressed his lips together. Jesus, he hadn’t stopped to think on it, but she’d—

“Aye, you’ll ken the story,” Colum said, his eyes alight with a near-maniacal gleam. “Betrothed to one Malcolm Grant, and then up and decides she’d prefer to sneak off and swive in the heather wi’ your bastard father. And what your *bastard* father may not have told you bairns round the fireside—“

“Do NOT use that word in my presence.”

“—is that her actions, her heedlessness and SELFISHNESS nearly started an all-out war wi’ the Grants.” Colum thudded his fist onto the table. “This alliance is the reparation for that VERY slight, boy, and an end to the thirty years of bad blood between our clans that came of it. All that and more will be mended when you join wi’ Malcolm Grant’s daughter. I’ll no’ have it ruined because some Sassenach happened to walk her fine arse in front of ye.”

Jamie was already on his feet and gripping his dirk before realizing what he was doing. Colum’s look was defiant, as though daring Jamie to make him summon the guards. He couldn’t very well fight for Claire in a dungeon cell, and they both knew it fine.

Jamie clenched his hands behind his back and stared down at the MacKenzie across the wide desk. “If the marriage alliance was of such great importance, and ye esteem my leadership highly enough to have wished me to be laird one day, then ye ought to have spoken to me of Miss Grant previously, and no’ just have assumed I’d agree to throw my life away by wedding a stranger.” Jamie’s voice was calm. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m no’ your son, Colum; nor am I your logical successor, nor a ward, that ye might command me to bow to your will. I canna take responsibility for the choices of my departed mother—” Colum scoffed, and Jamie raised his voice, “—NOR will I be bound by an obligation I learned of scarce FIVE MINUTES ago. I SHALL go to Lallybroch with Mistress Beauchamp, where I’ll make her my wife and nothing you or Dougal can say shall—”

“Then it’s a good thing I sent word to the English garrison yesterday.”

Jamie’s blood froze. “What?”

Colum steepled his fingers, such a casual gesture Jamie wanted to reach across the desk and throttle him. “Oh, aye. About our mysterious Mistress Beauchamp, indicating my suspicions as to her character and purpose on my lands, and asking that they come and collect her, she being an English citizen, after all.” 

“How could ye— how could—?“ His words choked off in rage. Claire, dragged to Fort William. Claire, in the hands of that monster, Randall. “How could ye have done such a thing, uncle?”

“Claire Beauchamp is nothing to me, to this clan, to you, save a liability. And while ye may not be my son, ye pledged me an oath, and you’ll honor it by arriving in the great hall tomorrow noon to make the formal oath to your betrothed in front of her father and the clans so that the wedding plans might commence, else…” He trailed off, leaving Jamie to imagine what the consequences for disobedience might be.

It hadn’t been an oath that Jamie swore those weeks ago, and Colum MacKenzie knew it just fine. A pledge to obey while on MacKenzie lands: Colum KNEW it was no more than that, and yet here he was, manipulating Jamie with such precision, to have him bound and trussed with no more than a word. Christ, that he should ever have been thought fit to take over the clan from this conniving man.

“Promise me you’ll not turn her over to the English,” Jamie demanded, his head was spinning. “Swear to me that you’ll send another message, telling them it was a misunderstanding— that Mistress Beauchamp is no longer under suspicion.”

Colum considered, then nodded. “I’ll send it by rider tomorrow. After you’ve made your formal vow to Edina.”

Jamie breathed. Just breathed, focusing on the filling of his chest. 

He rose and bowed to his uncle. 

“Then, I’ll abide by my word, my chieftain.”

Jamie was kissing me and it wasn’t a dream. Thank the bloody Lord: I’d had it up to here with dreaming. I reached up and twined my fingers in his hair, moving my hips up against him. He moaned into my mouth and slipped his hand under my head. When I grappled for him, though, he laughed and pulled back. “Oh Jesus fucking Christ, Jamie!” 

 He laughed again, landed one more good one, and then jumped off the bed.

I threw myself back hard onto the pillow. “You can’t just wake a girl up all sexy-like and then saunter off.” 

 “How’s about you saunter off along wi’ me?” 

His tone was playful, but there was an urgency in his movements that made me sit back up at once. “What do you mean?” 

He was moving across the room, gathering things into a satchel. “We must leave the castle— tonight.”

“We must—What???” But it all made sense: how I’d heard not a word from him since the garret, hadn’t seen him in the great hall. Something had happened in the session with Colum, and it wasn’t good.

 “I’m sorry for the suddenness, Sassenach, truly,” he said, placing the bag on the bed. “I’ll explain everything in full, I swear it, but we must leave, now.” 

Under his forced calm, I could sense the very real fear. “Jamie—are we in danger?” 

 “Aye.” 

 Honesty. The blatant, quiet honesty in him; yet another reason I felt so sure in him, in us. He would give his life to protect me, would tease and joke to put my mind at ease, but when directly asked, he would not lie to me. I’d lied to Jamie, I realized with a pang, but no more. There were no lies between us, nor secrets, and as ridiculous as it might have once seemed to me, I felt this man as an extension of my own mind. It was almost laughable, in fact, when he sat next to me on bed, a face on my palm and asked, “Do ye trust me?”

And I didn’t hesitate for a moment in replying. “Yes, I trust you.” 

He grinned. “And ye still wish to marry me, aye?” 

 *I* grinned. “Aye, I do, my bonny lad.” 

He kissed me. “Good. Then the greatest measure of our safety rests upon us being able to get off of MacKenzie lands. Only elsewhere am I in honor free of obedience to Colum. Only Colum’s no fool, so likely we’ll have to fight our way out of Leoch, this night.“ His control wavered, and for a moment, he looked truly distraught. “I’m sorry for putting this upon ye.”

“Just tell me what to do,” I said, running my hand down his face. “I trust you.” I kissed him back, though fear and exhilaration coursed through me. “And what’s the other measure?” 

The grin was back. “Making ye my wife as soon as humanly possible and taking ye to my bed to make things official.”

Taking the gift of his ease and humor against the fear of the night, I gave it back to him in kind, throwing up my hands in mock bewilderment. “How EVER will we bring ourselves to do it?”

He pulled a long-suffering kind of face as he pressed me rather scandalously back into the pillows. “‘Tis a grave task,” he said, nipping at the neck of my shift. “but I have a suspicion we’ll manage it somehow. Here,“ he said, dropping a pile of fabric at my shoulder, “put these breeks on and let’s get down to our business.“ 

Ah yes, just typical fighting-our-way-out-of-the-castle banter.

[rock-and-compass]

Rock and Compass Watches Once Upon A Time – 6.18: Where Bluebirds Fly

Overview

The Black Fairy pays Zelena a visit with the proposal of an alliance of sorts; she has a use for some “wicked” magic and hopes to come to an arrangement. Zelena is not interested, drawing threats and ire from her visitor. Zelena decides to take care of the Black Fairy herself, leading to a mistake that requires a huge sacrifice to correct. Snow throws herself into planning Emma’s wedding while David worries that the big day will be ruined by an evil interloper like his and Snow’s was. In the past, Zelena faces a choice between power and friendship.

Discussion, Thoughts and things of significance

Where Bluebirds Fly again has a strong theme of sacrifice, this time revolving around Zelena and what she’s prepared to do for her daughter. While it is a good character piece for her, it does feel very much like they have set her on a course towards the conclusion of her story – whatever that may be. Elsewhere, we got some lovely Charming-Jones family feels with the wedding under discussion, and the slow-burn problem of Henry’s out of control authoring continues to simmer, almost unnoticed beneath everything…

One stop redemption shop – Zelena has done a lot of bad shit. Most of it motivated by envy and the desire to prove her self-worth to those who have rejected her. And while it’s always been easy to feel a modicum of sympathy for her, ultimately she still chose to do ‘wicked’ things in the effort to prove herself. It doesn’t matter that she has a reason, what matters is that she chose to do them. She’s always been prone to self-sabotage, something the flashback emphasises when she chooses her power over her old friend, even though the net result is always a Zelena who is still alone.  Since becoming a mother, she’s shown the capacity to think of someone else and put her daughter first. It’s hardly been a stunning redemption arc, more that she just stopped doing bad stuff. But this episode goes full throttle with redemption, making her run a gamut of emotions and possible choices all to get her to the noble sacrifice at the end.

The real talking point of her story is her relationship with Regina – and it’s not great. There is a lot of smouldering resentment between the two of them; Regina still unfairly blames Zelena for Robin’s death, something that Zelena finally calls her on. Zelena feels unwanted and marginalised. Regina is nasty and bossy and overbearing, she persists in treating Zelena like she is stupid rather than give her a chance – the Black Fairy visited Zelena and asked for assistance - the very act of doing this signals that she is not as all-powerful as she has been pretending. With Zelena feeling threatened and worrying about the safety of her daughter surely it would have been kinder, more mature, to listen to Zelena, and work with her rather than resort to bickering and one-upmanship? A recognisance mission would have been the perfect alternative to alienating Zelena, making her feel unwanted and triggering all her instincts to go off half-cocked in an effort to prove herself.  Plus, the bickering is annoying and boring; even the entire Charming family think so if their eye-rolls and grimaces are anything to go by.  

Zelena of course doesn’t listen and goes off to track the Black Fairy for herself. Regina is affronted at her audacity and defiance of orders and goes to find her. While there is certainly some concern for Zelena’s safety, there is also the assumption that Zelena will mess things up for the rest of them that over-rides everything. They argue again, Zelena’s temper gets the better of her, they both get so distracted with each other that all sense of caution evaporates leaving them prey for Black and Gideon. Zelena’s magic ends up getting used against her will but they do learn that an all-out magical assault will have no effect on the Black Fairy.

Afterwards, Regina continues to castigate and belittle Zelena, completely ignoring her inclination to fix the mistake. Yes, it was a situation gone horribly wrong, but by zeroing in on her sister’s ineptitude as a result of trying to prove herself, Regina sets out to prove her own superiority. She’s just as bad as Zelena in her determination to be “better”.  It suits her for Zelena to be lesser, to be excluded from the inner circle – she even goes so far as to send Zelena back to Oz, a bothersome liability removed from notice. Well, it worked with the Evil Queen side of herself, so of course she’s try it again with her sister.

But Zelena gets to show her mettle. All by herself. Her own choice. With no influence from anyone else. Zelena chooses to use the crystal heart to remove her magic powers to fix the problem. She takes the hard road for the greater good and her only worry in doing so is her daughter’s well-being– she ensures that Robyn will be protected should anything happen to her as a result of giving up something that was inborn in her. It’s a big sacrifice. She deserves a lot of credit for it. It’s a hero’s move.  I found it very interesting that Regina could only find it in herself to be kind to her sister once she gives up her power. Now she’s full of admiration and hugs and willing to accept her sister into the fold. I find it incredibly curious that Regina has now managed to, purely by chance, nullify another powerful presence in her life, her rival if you will and that of all the parental characters this season, she is one of the only ones yet to face a sacrificial choice between her child and herself. Surely that choice is coming?  

Best Scene ever – I can’t not say anything about the pancakes scene! It was the highlight of the episode and finally delivered a nice slice of ‘domestic Captain Swan’ that the fandom has been wanting for so long. It showed for the first time that Emma and Hook have a physical relationship – not that it needed saying; they’ve been together for a long time and they live together. But it is interesting (or should that be frustrating) that the principle couple of the show has never had their intimacy displayed on screen before and they never expressly showed us their ‘first time’. I can’t help but think if they’d shown us a little bit of this physicality from the beginning of the relationship, it might have lessened the impact of the naysayers. I noticed that the salty copmments were much less than usual after they showed Emma and Hook all snuggly-wuggly-morning–after and looking to keep the fires burning, if ya know what I mean. Darn Snow and her inappropriate use of her key privileges! 

So is it only because Emma and Hook are officially engaged that they feel the time is right to show that they’ve done-the-do or is there an ulterior purpose? There is some speculation that the scene was a late addition to the episode. This was mainly due to a picture that Jennifer Morrison posted on Instagram of herself, Colin and Ginny having dinner with the caption that it was the last family dinner for season 6 while they were wearing the same clothes as in the scene (day 87). This was posted on the final days of shooting for the season, suggesting either re-soot or last minute addition during editing. (Of course it could have also been a picture taken earlier). I asked the writer of the episode, Brigitte Hales about it on Twitter but she seemed to dodge the question and even showed a reluctance to share the script when it was requested of Adam on Twitter too. Circumstantial evidence certainly but let’s Assume for a moment that it was a late edition the next question is why was it added? Yes, the episode was slow and not overly exciting and this scene was actually needed to give the episode some life, but even so, they didn’t need to put “Sex” in a flashing neon sign to achieve that – any domestic Captain Swan would have achieved the same goal.  . . And we do have a flashing neon sign what with the reason for the musical episode being a wish that Snow made while pregnant that somehow resurfaces in Storybrooke in the present … it just makes one wonder if there is another, biological reason for giving us #pancakes?  

(Speculation alert: just going on the limited spoilers we have about the final, now I’m imagining Emma finding out she’s pregnant in the asylum, completely mirroring  her finding out she’s pregnant with Henry while she was in prison and it being the catalyst for her to fight against whatever curse Black has concocted)

**Not that I necessarily subscribe to this theory**

A communal effort – so the big question from the Black Fairy’s request for help from Zelena is why she can’t turn her own crystals dark? Oh sure, I know she gave some cock-and-bull story about Zelena’s magic being unstable or some such but it smacks of an excuse. A powerful fairy, with the level of evil that the Black Fairy apparently is should be able to make her own dark crystals. Is her magic not as dark as she’d like everyone to believe? Can I just add that it is a little bit illogical that this woman, who has been mining dark crystals for however long would not have been prepared for “the last battle” before she made her entry into the realm. It is just ridiculous to suggest that this final fight, which has been prophesised, wouldn’t have been prepared for down to the last detail. I just don’t think you’d go ahead with your plans, and make a big song and dance about them, without having the vital ingredient covered beforehand. It really smacks of an excuse to give Zelena a feature episode and rid her of her magic.

No more Magic – So why do they need Zelena to have no magic? Is it tied in to the exit narrative of our departing characters? Or her own death? I’ve said it before, but I wouldn’t be Regina Mills best friend for all the tea in china; it’s a dangerous position to be in.

That crystal heart – The heart that sucked out all Zelena’s magic just sort of vanished when the green force emanated from it after the process was complete. Did the heart evaporate with the magic or did it transport somewhere else, chock full of magic that someone else might be able to usurp?

What’s coming up – whatever it is, she wouldn’t want to be alone for it. The Black Fairy gives this warning to Zelena regarding whatever she has planned for Storybrooke that is apparently so worrying, so terrifying that the Wicked Witch of the freaking West should be shitting her pants. But the Black Fairy can’t get the thing started without the black crystals – so since, Zelena sacrificed her powers to stop her magic from being used for the BF’s nefarious purpose, who is going to do the dirty work for her? The Black Fairy also tells Zelena and Regina that they, “won’t be around to regret your mistake much longer. No one will.” It sounds like a death threat but then she doesn’t kill them, so that would suggest that her plans for Storybrooke involve something that requires dark crystals and will result in the population of Storybrooke going elsewhere… sounds like a new version of the dark curse to me.

Let’s get this party started – The Black Fairy is very big with the talk that the last battle is coming but hasn’t stated yet. But didn’t Rumple say that Emma would start it by breaking the curse way back in the pilot? So that would suggest that the breaking of the curse was the catalyst for what the Black Fairy wants to achieve with it.

The Neverland wand – Hook tells them that the wand Tiger Lily sent back is only part of the wand and that they need to find the other part. This would seem to be a good directive to be taking. It gets side-tracked by Zelena and Regina’s bickering. Personally, it made me very uncomfortable to see the wand fragment handed over to Regina – the wand was sent back for Emma. A locator spell is hardly rocket-science (hell we’ve seen Bell and David and Hook all use variations of the spell!). It just felt odd that Madam Mills needed to take possession of it at all.

Do it together – Regina tells Zelena to cool her heels and wait till they have the wand and can face The Black Fairy together, as a group activity. Is it me, or was Emma not quite as convinced by this reasoning. She seemed dubious but happy to use it as an excuse to stop Zelena acting rashly. Emma knows the prophecy is for her, it doesn’t seem to be a “together” type of situation.

On the subject of Fairy crystals - fairy crystals are the source of fairy magic. The crystals are mined by the dwarves and crushed to make magic powder that fuels magic. The fact that large quantities of crystals are growing below Storybrooke could be important?

One curse to another – “So you’re the big, bad, evil queen who cast my curse… no wonder it was such a pathetic failure.” The Black Fairy says this on meeting Regina. And it’s interesting on two levels – One, because it functions to diminish the pure act of evil that Regina’s curse was. Black calls it pathetic and a failure and it’s supposed to make us wonder at the level to which her possible version of the curse will take, should she cast it. And two, because we know that Regina’s curse was anything but a failure; it functioned exactly the way it was supposed to for 28 years – for 28 years it exiled an entire population of people, separated people from their loved ones and violated their minds and memories. It was very successful thank you very much and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this episode is peppered with reminders of the curse and it’s huge impacts; Snow and David’s conversation about Dr Whale and the infamous one night stand might be played for laughs, but it has the very real purpose of illustrating exactly how successful Regina’s curse was.  The only reason why Regina’s curse is not still going is because Rumpelstiltskin tweaked the recipe and allowed for the addition of a Saviour into the mix. So no, Regina’s curse was neither pathetic or a failure. And that is precisely why the Black Fairy feels like a fraud; her curse, should she be planning on casting a new one, is never going to stack up against the evil maliciousness of Regina’s. And isn’t it funny that Regina gets offended at the suggestion that hers was not a success….

Holding the baby - Zelena asks Regina to look after Robin if something happens to her. She agrees of course, and then Emma says “me too, she’s one of us. We’ll protect her with our lives”. It all sound very ominous and may be a hint that Zelena’s outlook is not great. Regina’s promise is natural, she is Robyn’s aunt after all, but Emma’s assurance feels… a little out of place considering the minimal relationship she has with Zelena… But maybe Robyn, being a baby, is of some interest to the Black Fairy and the point needed to be made that protection of her would be a priority? And should babies be in demand, what about Emma’s brother (even though he has seemingly been forgotten).

Uninvited entry – We have another example of someone coming into another person’s house uninvited this week when Snow lets herself into Emma’s house without knocking first. It’s not quite in the same vein as Regina’s barge and enter, but it still shows a certain level of discourtesy and freedom. And when you think about it, Henry letting himself into the Loft is another example. David was clearly not expecting him to be there to the extent that he pulled a gun out on entry…but I think in this case, Henry went there to ensure that he would be alone while he experiments with his writing. In short -  the people of Storybrooke need to learn to knock!

Other people’s lives - Regina is incredulous that the Charming family “really want to pick out centrepieces on the eve of the final battle?” She is pissed off and note how she trivialises the wedding/marriage as an unimportant detail. She still does find other people’s happiness hard to deal with. Actually, I found Regina quite odd throughout the whole episode, like she was trying to take control of something that is not hers to control - her sister and “the final battle”. While she’s trying to direct strategy and mesh herself into the fabric of the problem, she is really just a periphery player (or she’s playing a bigger game…) But you’ve got to love Snow here, she won’t be dissuaded by the threat of evil – “I do. David and I went through with our wedding after you threatened us it gave people hope. Why should Emma and Hook’s wedding be any different.” The trend of people being honest with and not intimidated by the “reformed” Regina continues. They just don’t seem to be walking on eggshells around her anymore. Plus the reminder of their interrupted wedding is interesting in itself – a timely reminder of the success of Regina’s curse as culmination of Regina’s vow to destroy their happiness. I’m still wondering about that injection of darkness that Regina recently took into her heart… It must be having an effect. And do our heroes know how she subdued the Evil Queen? Do they know about that darkness?

Writer’s block – Henry has experimented with changing the story or ‘fixing’ the outcome and it doesn’t work. He’s trying to translate his doodles (trust me kid, it’s no good, Google has no answers – I’ve tried) “Isaac said, the author’s powers are trying to tell me something” but he’s having no luck working out what that is and wonders what is the point of the author powers if you can’t help anyone…but isn’t that the point - the author powers were never about helping, they were about recording and completing. I almost wonder if, at the end of the book, the story needs to correct its course for completion – the ultimate villain is not introduced in the final chapter, Snow White and the Evil Queen do not become friends. Maybe this is the problem – with no author for so long (what with Isaac being trapped in a page with no way to write for all that time) the book went off course and the story didn’t unfold as it was ‘supposed to’. What would a “correction” mean to the story? I watched Tangled last night and Mother Gothel (who was villain masquerading as a caring mother) says to Rapunzel after her story has fallen apart – “You want me to be the bad guy? Fine, now I'm the bad guy,” and she lets her true colours show. You can’t have Mother Gothel being sympathetic at the end of the story and you can’t have Rapunzel deluded or torn by her duplicity. Now I really want to see Regina say that line. …And I’m still wondering about that pop-up book in the library.  

A speculative look -  Henry leaves the notebook on the table, open to a different page than the one they were originally discussing, David glances at the notebook then doubles back and looks more closely (and the music changes). It might be just concern for Henry’s problem but, I don’t know – to me it seems like something on the page rings a bell for him.  He doesn’t say anything more about it and goes on with the wedding planning,  but is it coincidence that David has a shift of attitude towards the wedding now – no venue is good enough, he doesn’t want Emma’s day ruined, how many beans would be needed to get us all back to the EF? – Does something in those scribbles connect to his interrupted wedding day, the dark curse or Regina?

Going Meta – I love it when the writer’s go Meta - “If this is about Hook, then that ship has sailed and there’s a pirate on it. Deal with it.”  If this wasn’t a message for a particular section of the fandom then I know nothing about anything.

Emma/Gideon parallels – Again we get a strong parallel between Emma and her parents and Gideon and his. Belle wants their son back. They’ve missed a huge chunk of his life but she doesn’t want to miss more. We also get Snow saying that she has missed all the landmarks of Emma’s life so wants to make the most of the wedding. This also invites comparison of The Black Fairy and Regina, the two people who have caused the situation and also of Rumple who is sort of on the outskirts but at the same time key to the entire story. So this Black Fairy storyline is really curse one rehashed and condensed? But to what point??

Blue and Black - she’s older than him, knew the BF long ago and might have the knowledge about how to defeat her… and he’s feeling bad that he was played into taking Blue’s magic and putting her into a coma that she can’t be woken from. Unable to share her knowledge. It’s the fact that she knows the BF’s darkest secret – one she never wants Rumple to know . . .  the real reason she gave him up. Whatever that is, something noble most likely.  But I can’t help but think that if they make her in any way sympathetic aren’t they undercutting their own ‘most evil of the evil’ discourse? We shall see.

[survivor-switzerland]

EPISODE 2: I LIED ABOUT MY MOM BEING IN THE HOSPITAL - ZACK

king of my vote being the one to kick stevens ass out of here despite not having made a single confessional this episode

So Steven left unanimously which was kinda boring. I was hoping to see some wild throw away votes that would've caused drama but oh well, a unified tribe is a strong tribe right? wrong.

If anything this tribal has left me worried, because it's left no indication as to who could be the next target, which is distressing. I do have an alliance with Daisy, Luke, Zack and Ci'ere now though so hopefully that is gonna be a major advantage for this part of the game!

Wow how ruthless can the other tribe be. I always knew that they wouldn't go after Abel but not even letting Steven survive even one tribal was really savage of them.

Why do I keep forgetting Logan wants to be addressed as HIM.

Casanova huh, Renee won that immunity in bora bora so I now our tribe needs to step this one up.

I can't believe Steven got voted out... I feel kinda bad now? That makes it twice in one night that he got eliminated, from both Second Chances and Taveuni (I was gonna promote that season but it'll be over by the time confessionals release lol). And it was rocks in Taveuni. RIP Steven. Hope he doesn't take this personally.

rip I feel so bad voting out steven 10 minutes after he was rocked out.... when he was rocked out first tribal in India... to be fair, I didn't know any of this before. and there's no way I could've known he would be rocked out of Taveuni when we targeted him.

anyways so previously i made an alliance with zack and luke which turned out pretty well. we had the intentions of adding abel and renee which is why we wanted to keep abel and vote out steven instead since he did the least in the challenge (after abel).now, ci'ere and jev have added the 3 of us to an alliance so i'm wondering if maybe it would've been better to just get out abel because even though we controlled the vote really easily, it seems like people were confused about why it was steven but didn't wanna be in a minority. and in the future, i would like to get out renee, just bc she seems like a liability. she barely talks to me (and i assume most people) and i dont think she's said one word in the tribe chat. being aligned with someone like that can be risky. she could be an easy next vote if she keeps this up, although it might be difficult to convince zack because i think they're friends. hopefully he won't let that screw up his game.

also apparently people have been like, telling other people they like me? which is kinda good and kinda bad. on one hand, it's good to be liked by people. on the other hand, you don't want people to know that you're liked by everyone. that could make me a target. maybe not immediately, but the closer we get to merge the more people will be looking at that stuff.

i'm also really scared about a swap. i think that's what screwed me in solomon, and in some other games too. hopefully it's not soon and that i get put on a tribe with at last either zack or luke. ci'ere and jev would be good too, but i'm more confident that zack or luke wouldn't flip on me.

also i'm laughably bad at this game so hopefully we either have some comp beasts on this tribe or we have a few people who flop even worse than me.

i don't even know were to start ctfu.

okay so.. steven went home (yay)

better tea: i got an idol clue.. what do i need to do in order to get the idol though? basically throw immunity and risk someone from my tribe/ me going home. i need to come in 7th place in this challenge and then.. the idol is mine.

LISTEN. i have no problem fucking my tribe over. i just need to come up with an excuse as of why i sucked so bad in the challenge because i already told them i can easily get 1m in this game klsdfhg.

looks like i'mma need to come up with something drastic as of why i flopped huh. i also need to try to get everyones scores so i can do my math.. time to act like i actually care about them and want to see there scores and act like a coach for them huh.

good luck.. the next time you talk to me i'll probably either have an idol or i won't!

I'm still clueless about the whole Steven Snell vote, but I feel horrible because I told him to vote for Abel and he did. 😭😭 In other news, giraffes are so cute and I'm praying that Matterhorn will slay Casanova. I already broke a million and Zack said that 5 million is a good score, so that's my goal. I'm also pumped to be apart of the new Girl Hi alliance and I'm feeling slightly better about my position within the tribe.

Well I'm gonna be like the only one not over a million score but oh well at least I'm trying here's to flopping it's my best score ever

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZemPI9jlFXo#

I'm currently hiding the fact that I have a higher score rn so when results so (hopefully we win) my tribe would be all shocked. :P

Well I didn't get the reaction I was expecting but YAY MONTE ROSA WON! That score wasn't really high if you compare it to the ones on Generations.

Thank god Renee didn't beat her high score in Bora Bora, whew

I'm really glad we keep winning tbh, cause so far I've legit done like nothing for this tribe and I know if we go to tribal I'm leaving. Would probably help if I were like, talking to people but oh well.

SOO.

in order to get the idol i had to get 7th place in cassanova and did i? i sure DID.

i had to come up with an excuse tho as of why i flopped... so i just told the tribe at like 3pm that my moms in the hospital and i wont be home to play it online so i have to download the app and the app sucks ctfu. (sorry mom oo0o0ops.)

but not only did i get pity messages? i got an idol bitches. i'm ready to slice and dice some hoes.

daisy wants to vote out jev.... i'm not having this.

Lmao my tribe sucks. Koror we are not. Keegan does okay in challenges I guess but I barely know him so I kinda wanna vote him out? Idk I don't want to vote anyone out I'm sad ://

Oh boy. Are we in a situation. For the second time in a row, we have aligned ourselves with the flop of the challenge. First, Abel, who we managed to save but not without raising suspicion. And now, we're in an alliance with Ci'ere and Jev, and Jev just got a strike for not submitting.

So the first assumption is that we have to steer the vote away from Jev. We're aligned with him, it's kind of obvious. But then we realize that there are only two people we're not aligned with in one way or another, and that's Trent and Keegan. Zack tells us it should be Keegan because he was more suspicious of voting Steven last round, whereas Trent was just compliant.

But then I start to think ahead a bit. If we lose again next round, Trent is the only one we're not aligned with and he could become suspicious and possibly try to flip the numbers on us. He could likely convince Renee and Abel that they're on the bottom, maybe even Jev and Ci'ere too. Plus, voting out anyone other than Jev could expose a dominating alliance to the other tribe. And in the event of a swap, we could be in trouble.

So now it comes down to - do we vote out Jev or Keegan. At this point, the most important thing is that whoever goes home it was the decision of us 3. And I'm kinda leaning toward voting out Jev. This keeps our alliance underwraps and makes sure that no one knows we have control. It lowers the possibility of the tribe flipping on us. The only problem is, if Ci'ere isn't into this plan, we could be making an enemy out of him (and potentially others, if he can convince people that we're unloyal and evil, especially in a swap situation that would be dangerous).

But we don't even know if Ci'ere and Jev are a strong duo, and at this point in the game the obvious vote might be the best choice, in order to stop people from knowing what's really going on.

Sometimes the best move you can make is no move at all. People think you have to always be making huge moves in order to do well in this game, but sometimes it's better to sit back and let the game take course.

18 people are gonna be keft after this next tribal. I believe..... there's gonna be..... a tribe swap into 3 tribes.....then reward challenge will start to happen and fuck my entire life i just realized i forgot to check up the god damn mountain

Matterhorn is going to tribal council once again and I think it's because some people just aren't putting enough effort into the challenges. I feel the need to reiterate that this is a second chance season and there are people who weren't given this opportunity to play again that would have put their hearts into that frickin' challenge. STEP YOUR PUSSES UP Y'ALL. Ironically, all of the other members of Hi Girl scored the lowest lmao. I'm glad that we decided to keep Abel around because he proved that he can do well in challenges, plus it seems like he trusts me. I scored 2 million in Casanova which was the second best submission on this tribe and I hope that they'll see me as an asset moving forward.

FUCK YES WE WON AGAIN IM SO HAPPY! Whew I really didn't think we had a chance in that immunity tbh, flash games are always hard to gauge. Anyway, Logan found an immunity idol clue which is hot, but he had to get 7th in the immunity competition which is actually the ugliest task ever. He didn't think it'd be smart to go for it so we just continued as usual with trying to win immunity. We tried to monitor who else could have had a clue because some people were obviously trying to find out who scored what... basically i just hid in the corner and didnt tell anybody my score. It looked like Tyler and maybe Brett had a clue as well, Max ended up getting 7th, but wasnt on the radar for having a clue. Logan is leaning towards getting out Tyler if we go to tribal because of possible connections they have on the other side... but i dont plan on seeing tribal any time soon. I think there may be a swap coming up soon, just because our tribe is kick ass and all good things must come to an end :/

Another win??? If this was glee I'd burst into song!! I feel like we need a dance break so here's what I feel like doing -

So our tribe lost the immunity challenge again which sucks because it would be nice to have a round off and actually just get to talk normally to some of these people but it's been straight strategy since the beginning due to our losses but it's definitely eventful. I'm in an alliance with Zack and Daisy (with Renee and Abel on the side) and I like that alliance, I think we could do pretty well if we stay together and we have control on this tribe with right now. On the flip side I'm also in an alliance with Zack, Daisy, Jev and Ci'ere but with Jev getting a strike, we were thinking of voting him out because of it. I don't really know if this is the best thing for us right now because I think Jev would trust me down the line and I'd feel bad about betraying his trust but this is my second chance and I'm not holding back. Hopefully I survive this tribal and we can pull out a win next round otherwise it is not looking good for the Matterhorn tribe.

EPISODE 2

The next challenge was posted and fuck me sideways-- a flash game. I was really hoping there'd be not too many of these this season because flash games are the devil and I'm not a 17 year-old virgin anymore who has the time and lack of responsibility to perfect the art of giraffe smooching anymore. I knew opting to be the first sit out wouldn't be a great idea, but with Benjamin and Dom both volunteering, I felt okay with participating in the challenge even though it's not my prowess. Silver lining: I managed to find a SECOND idol clue. I'm 2/2 now. This one required me to sacrifice my high score (HAHAHAH!!!) in order to place 7th out of the 9 players participating in my tribe. So really, I just had to be better than two people. I was really banking on Ashley Sarah and Dom being worse than me, but both of them pulled through and I placed dead last doing my absolute best in the game. Shocker! I'm really curious as to what would have happened if I managed to succeed in placing 7th in my tribe--would a second hidden immunity idol have materialized? Would it have been a notification that my tribe's idol had already been found (by me)? I'm so sad that I didn't manage it! Fortunately, we did win the challenge by 5 million points--4 of Matterhorn's 9 competitors scored below me, so while weakest on my tribe, at least they have me and not Luke, Zack, Daisy, or Jevvon.

Honestly, not much happened in terms of strategy this episode in terms of strategy because we had our challenge and we won again, but I can tell you this much. Tyler asked for who we could possibly ally ourselves with. I pitched Ashley Sarah primarily because she's a functioning adult and seems rather trustworthy. I also threw Ian's name out there because Ian is really genuine and I feel like his status as a Runner-Up will draw more attention to him than a quitter and someone who didn't make the Top 10. I also listed Benjamin as an alternate--he comes off as rather kindhearted and pure. I have already put feelers out to Ashley Sarah and she's been receptive, but also I've discussed with Nick the possibility of looking out for one another as well. Nick is a very fun personality and very mature for 17. I feel like we are very similar and even if he really is in a contingent with Dom and Logan, I'd much rather the 3 of them like me and put me lower on their hit list in the event that they manage to succeed in gaining traction with a majority. Ideally, I'd like to win the next immunity challenge to further bury Matterhorn, but if we don't...it looks like it's time for war. And I have a hidden immunity idol, two functioning adults, and a fuckton of teenagers to contend with. Until next time!

[5/17/17, 10:52:18 AM] jev !!: So I have your vote to stay??

[5/17/17, 10:52:29 AM] jev !!: Blessed

AHH. ok so, i have NO idea where this tribe is at and i literally haven't talked to anyone that much and I'm so nervous that my name is gonna come up in tribal tonight. I did the best for the immunity challenge, which could be seen as a threat but i hope for now they just see it as like an asset to the tribe. so far i like zack and luke. luke seems pretty straight forward and for now seems to be shooting straight with me so he's cool. every time i try to talk to daisy she's super like short with me and doesn't really give me anything to help continue the conversation, then goes and complains to other people that I'm not messaging her, which is so annoying zzz. other than that i don't really know about anyone on the tribe but i hope theres a name thrown out besides mine, and i can survive this vote even with my terrible social game!

I hate that there's probably a big ass alliance that I'm not apart of

WHY THE FUCK DOES DOM THINK HE CAN GO AROUND THROWING OUT PEOPLES NAMES WHEN WE HAVENT EVEN GONE TO A TRIBAL OR LOST AN IMMUNITY???????????????

i'm.... STRESSSSSSING.

abel just found the same idol clue that i did (7th place in cass) and he's like "omg i'm gonna send it to daisy and luke to gain trust!" and in my head i'm just like... fuckfuckFUCK. if these hoes do the math and see i got 7th place.. i mean put the pieces together, i'm EXPOSED. and then they'll figure out i lied about my mom being in the hospital dlksjfdkslf.

and now nobody is talking to me... i sure am probably going home now HUH.

i was literally fighting so hard for abel to stay and now that he has that hint... i literally wanna vote him out...

when zack is having a meltdown.. zack snaps and fights people for no reason.. so zack is really tryna hold back right now..

Okay so this vote is the complete polar opposite to last tribal's, my alliance can't seem to decide on one person to vote for, and the one person that Zack suggested (Keegan) got shot down by Daisy, which is shady as hell.

I like Keegan a lot, but honestly it's much easier to go with majority so if I have to write his name down then it's what I'm going to do. Plus it'll probably make an iconic blindside since he has no idea about any vote (or at least that's what he said to me) Hop

Hopefully I don't end up on the wrong side of the vote!

CAN WE HAVE AN OCTUPLE TRIBAL BECAUSE MY WHOLE TRIBE SUCKS AND IS EITHER BORING OR LYING AND BORING THIS IS SECOND CHANCES AND THESE PEOPLE DIDN'T DESERVE A 0TH CHANCE LIKE EVERYWHERE I TURN I'M BEING STOPPED BY "lmao idk what to do i like everyone :3" JEV BITCH WHAT HAPPENED TO #STRIKESOLIDARITY WHY CHASE THE MAJORITY WHEN WE CAN MAKE THE MAJORITY STUPID ASS BITCH LUKE IS BEING SO PASSIVE RN DAISY IS THE MOST INSUFFERABLE PERSON TO TALK GAME WITH, KEEGAN AND TRENT FLOP FOR BEING THEMSELVES. I feel like I'm getting voted out but there's still no reason to ignore me because i can't do anything about it and it would be a shitty move especially when I literally have a reputation of being a goat in every game i play qqjhdbhjkdkw. I want this tribe to get pagonged.

I don't really care for the alliance that I'm in right now since I'm not in a position where I could help make decisions and it's seriously annoying me because this will be the second tribal in a row where I have no say in who goes. My opinion doesn't matter. If I say the wrong thing or stray away from what they want, they could easily drop me as an ally in favor of someone they deem blindly loyal. I have to work with this alliance to survive the next couple of upcoming rounds and I'm glad that they decided to take me in. Jev is pushing the vote on Keegan, but Keegan told me that he really likes Jev so that worries me a bit. I've been bonding with Keegan the past few days and I don't want him to go. It's still too early to be captain save-a-hoe though, but I'm gonna try to save Keegan by pushing for Abel. At this point I just feel helpless and frustrated about this mess.

ugh. so we talked about voting out abel, because he's pissed some people off and we figure we could pass it off as "fixing our mistake" from last tribal. i figured that would be the best option since abel pretty much only works w us and voting him out won't piss anyone off and will push suspicion off us. but zack really wanted keegan to go for some reason, and i guess luke thinks that abel is really loyal to us (or just him, i guess, and us by affiliation) so he wants to keep him. i'm pissed because i think this is a short term band aid solution.

after this vote trent will realize he's on the bottom and he'll try to flip some of the others on us (which may not be that hard considering it's pretty much just me, luke, and zack making the decisions). voting out abel will keep suspicion off us within our tribe and the other one, which is good in a possible swap situation and even if we don't swap.

but at this point it's not a good idea to piss of zack or luke. and im usually the biggest player, the one making the decisions, thus the biggest target. so if letting them make decisions means less blood on my hands and less suspicion on me, then so be it.

i think after this tribal ill message trent and be like "i don't know why he was voted out, that makes no sense to me, i just had to be in the majority" to hopefully get him on my side so that if he flips i'll know and we can fix this.

It seems like tonights vote is heading towards Abel. At least I hope it is. I've heard from quite a few people it's going to be him.

Honestly, the way this game has been going is quite strange. Losing the first two immunity challenges is horrible and I hate it. But voting out Steven first was a surprise. He participated in the challenge and seemed pretty friendly. Apparently not. And now we're (hopefully) voting out Abel, who did nothing in the first challenge and among the top scores in this second one.

I don't know who's controlling these votes but in a way I'm glad it's not me. I've put a solid foundation of a relationship with Ci'ere, Trent and Jevvon. I've had some awesome conversations with Luke and Zack. And Daisy and I are getting along and passing information. Abel I've never spoken with and I've only had a short conversation with Renee, but overall I think I've got a good position moving forward. Not to mention I've been doing well in the challenges.

Part of me is hoping for a tribe swap soon though because I honestly don't think this current tribe will ever win a challenge. But if that happens there's a good chance I could get swap fucked and no one wants that.

Honestly this round has me stressed to the max. Zack, Ci'ere, Luke, Daisy and Renee have all said they're voting for Keegan but for some reason I have a bad feeling that I'm gonna be shook and blindsided. I hope it's just a case of #Jevanoia !

I found the hidden immunity idol clue, but it turns that I was a little too late to the party. :< The clue said that you'd have to come in 7th place in the Casanova challenge in order to receive the idol. Zack scored 7th which would explain why he was telling everyone to share their scores and that he couldn't score as high because his mom was in the hospital (whether that was true or not). ☕️🐸 INSPECTOR KEISHA IS ON THAT A$$! ��️‍♀️ You're not slick henny. Zack is the mastermind of Matterhorn and Jev is his little sidekick. He's in control right now and he has the power to do whatever he wants. Nobody can touch him, but I might be able to. I'm gonna keep this info to myself until I can use it to my advantage.

I should probably end my purple edit at some point.....

I'm straight up pissed. I wanted to fly under the radar but these idiots have given me no other choice. Abel could have been SUCH AN EASY VOTE but now Luke is telling me everyone's saying Keegan..... WHAT? i'm sorry no. Abel is mean and rude, Keegan has done nothing wrong in this game and shouldn't be leaving over someone who has been nothing but a piece of shit for our morale. So clearly there's a group dominating the vote because everyone was telling me Abel, yet a select few are coming to me with the Keegan info.

Also lowkey Daisy's been a bit of a bitch, but she's one of my only hopes for allies at this point so pray for me!!

[smuffed]

Survivor: Game Changers Cast Assessment

Hey there. So the start of the next season is around the corner, and this time around we get to see some familiar faces again. I’ve thrown together a brief summary of how I feel about each person and how I think they’ll do. I also rated each player in terms of how much potential they have to win, how much fun they’ll be to watch, and how much they deserve to be called a “game changer.” Enjoy! 

Andrea Boehlke

Previous seasons: Redemption Island (season 22), Caramoan (season 26)

Having done my best to avoid reliving both Redemption Island and Caramoan, I don’t have the strongest recollection of Andrea’s gameplay in her first two seasons. But she made it deep into Redemption Island, a season notoriously run by Boston Rob. Her success in that season stemmed from her cozy position in the majority alliance, but was cut from the team late into the game because Rob worried he wouldn’t be able to beat her in the end. She played more aggressively in Caramoan and helped form the alliance that essentially ran the game. Once again though, she was voted out late in the game because her tribemates were worried about sitting next to her in the end.

I think Andrea’s coming into Game Changers in a pretty good spot. She’s not a huge threat in comparisons to the greats like Cirie and Tony, but she clearly understands the game well enough to make it far. I do think, however, that once the bigger threats start to cannibalize one another, she’ll emerge as one of the primary late-game threats. A few folks have mentioned in their pregame press that they’re a little suspicious of her, so if that comes to a head, it could mean the end for Andrea. That being said, I’m interested to see what she can pull off this time around. I’d say she has a pretty good shot here, so we’ll see.

Winner Potential: 7/10 Entertainment Value: 5/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 4/10

Aubry Bracco

Previous season: Kaoh Ron (season 32)

A lot of people will tell you that Aubry should have won Kaoh Rong. Not me. Michele earned her win and I refuse to hear any argument otherwise. That being said, Aubry played an excellent game on her first season. She went from being anxious and unsure to cutthroat and confident. The only problem was, when she got to the final three, the jury couldn’t shake their original image of Aubry and she suffered for it. Leading up to that night, she made all the right moves. She just didn’t show the other players the side of her that the audience got to see.

Aubry’s going to run into some trouble this time around. Her game is still fresh in everyone’s mind, and I’m sure many of the players of this season will remember her as the girl that should have won. She’s front and center here. Some people are going to want to work with her; some people are going to want to target her. One thing is for certain, she won’t slip through the cracks. I think Aubry needs to do her best to lay low, as hard as that might seem. If she can convince the other players that she can be a loyal, unintimidating alliance member, she can coast to the merge. Once she gets deep into the game, cutthroat Aubry will be back in full swing and she might just be able to make it to the end again. I doubt anyone will let her get there, but if she does, it’s pretty likely she could win.

Winner potential: 5/10 Entertainment value: 7/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 6/10

Brad Culpepper

Previous season: Blood vs Water (season 27)

Despite the fact that he did not receive the votes to send him to Cambodia, Brad Culpepper is back on Survivor. I’m not quite as down on Brad as most people seem to be. That being said, I’m not thrilled. If all goes according to plan, Culpepper will play a similar role to the one he played in Blood vs. Water—a fun villain we can all root against who burns out quickly. My biggest fear, though, is that he’ll end up being more successful this time around and will end up running an all-male alpha bro alliance and vote out everyone remotely interesting. During the lead up to the reveal of the Cambodia voting, Brad Culpepper was apparently actively seeking out other potential cast members in order to form a pre-game alliance. Something tells me he wouldn’t be above doing that again. That being said, even if Brad does make it to the end, the odds of him winning are probably pretty slim. I can’t see him getting through this game without pissing a few people off, and on Survivor that’s the last thing you want to do. So I do think we’ll see more of him than I would like, but I’m confident that we won’t see Brad Culpepper take home the million dollar check.

Winner Potential: 3/10 Entertainment Value: 6/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 4/10

Caleb Reynolds

Previous season: Kaoh Rong (season 32)

We all knew this was coming. When Caleb got evacuated from Kaoh Rong, they might as well have said, “He’ll be back in a year. Don’t worry, kids.” And even though I fully expected it, I’m not going to pretend to be happy about his return. The only thing Caleb did on his season was almost die. Now I’m not sure exactly how that makes you a game changer, but since it does we should have Mike Borassi back as well. Seriously though, even when the season was airing people were praising Caleb for not being the garbage person he was on Big Brother. He set the bar so low that just acting neutrally garnered praise. Well, not from me! No sir, we’ll be having none of that here. This guy hasn’t even been to a single tribal council. He probably doesn’t know the rules of this game well enough to change it. The final straw for me is that in all of his pregame press he’s mentioned that Sandra doesn’t deserve to return. Sandra Diaz-Twine. The only two-time winner. You’re gonna come for her? Nah. Get outta here.

As for his chances in this season, I’d say they’re slim to none. Caleb is going to be in way over his head on this season, having never actually set foot in tribal council. At best, he’ll be the loyal number two to one of the actual players, but there is almost no scenario that I can foresee that leads to Caleb Reynolds winning Survivor.

Winner Potential: 2/10 Entertainment Value: 4/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 2/10

Ciera Eastin

Previous seasons: Blood vs Water (season 27), Cambodia: Second Chances (season 31)

Ciera is probably best known for voting out her mom. And by that I mean casting a throwaway vote for her mom who was already going to go home anyway. However, I do think some of Ciera’s other bold moves speak to her abilities as a strategist. In Blood vs Water, her first season, Ciera forced a tie and made the final 8 draw rocks, which hadn’t been done since season 4. Her boldness carried over into Cambodia, where she tried to goad those in the majority alliance to make a “big move” and switch to her side. It clearly didn’t work out for her, but her “big moves” philosophy is definitely what gave her a spot in season 34.

Ciera’s reputation is that she’s sneaky, and that’s not lost on the rest of the cast. Everyone seems to be wary of Ciera going into this season, so it’s going to be an uphill battle for her if she wants to make it deep into the game. Unfortunately, I don’t see her making it very far. Unless she ends up on a very strong tribe in the beginning, she could easily be one of the first few voted out. Her reputation as a shit-stirrer coupled with her less than stellar performance in challenges is a recipe for disaster, and I would be surprised to see her make the merge.

Winner potential: 4/10 Entertainment value: 5/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 7/10

Cirie Fields

Previous seasons: Panama: Exile Island (season 12), Micronesia: Fans vs Favorites (season 16), Heroes vs Villains (season 20)

Widely considered the greatest player to never win, Cirie is one of the few in this cast that I have no hesitation in call a Survivor legend. In her first season, she was able to go from being on the chopping block in the first episode to practically running the game at the end. But Cirie’s real time to shine was her second season, Fans vs Favorites. She orchestrated the blindside of fellow Game Changer Ozzy Lusth and then went on to pull off one of the most manipulative moves in the game. At the final five, Cirie, along with the other members of her Black Widow Brigade alliance, managed to convince Erik Reichenbach to give up immunity in order to immediately vote him out. There’s some debate as to who really pulled that off but regardless of who you think finally gave Erik that push, it was Cirie’s idea. Cirie probably would have won Fans vs Favorites if it had been a final three instead of a final two, but that seems to be a contentious topic among Survivor fans. Nonetheless, Cirie was a force to be reckoned with. When she returned for Heroes vs Villains, Cirie played a little too hard too fast and was taken out early by fellow Game Changer JT Thomas for being too much of a strategic liability.

I’m worried this time around will be a repeat of her stint on Heroes vs. Villains. By now, Cirie is well-known for being a cutthroat mastermind and I doubt any of the other Game Changers will want to risk having her around for too long. Not only that, she’s on the same starting tribe as Ozzy and JT, so the bad blood between them might cause the tribe to vote out Cirie early in the game. If she manages to survive the early throws of the game, however, Cirie might be able to pull together a strong alliance and make it deep into the game. Unfortunately, though, it doesn’t seem likely that she’ll make it to the merge.

Winner Potential: 2/10 Entertainment Value: 8/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 10/10

Debbie Wanner

Previous season: Kaoh Rong (season 32)

Debbie Wanner is the token kook of the Game Changers cast. The main reason Debbie was brought back was so that we could hear more about her unending list of skills and former professions. In terms of gameplay, though, she doesn’t have much to brag about. Although she was given credit for voting out one of the most clueless players from her season early in the game, she struggled once the merge hit. When push came to shove, she refused to turn on her alliance despite the fact that they were already plotting against her. The thing about Debbie is that once she gets an idea in her head, she doesn’t budge, and that lack of flexibility is what caused Aubry to cut ties with her and send her packing.

This time around, I don’t see Debbie faring well at all. While she’s incredibly fun to watch, I can’t imagine living with her for an extended period of time. That combined with the fact that she hasn’t shown herself to be a good strategist could lead to an early demise for our favorite chemist/model/waitress/caretaker to nuns. If, however, she does make it to the merge, she’ll be a loyal number for her alliance and could end up in the final three as a goat. So at least she has that going for her. I love Debbie, but her chances are not looking good.

Winner potential: 2/10 Entertainment value: 8/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 2/10

Hali Ford

Previous season: Worlds Apart (season 30)

Hali is one of casting choices that I thought was questionable at best. In her first season, Hali didn’t accomplish much. She was a member of the minority alliance and was voted out shortly after the merge. Calling her a “Game Changer” is certainly a stretch, but I am interested to see if she change things this time around. Of the unconventional casting choices this season, I think Hali is the one with the most Wentworth upside. Nobody knew what to expect from Kelley Wentworth when she returned for Cambodia, and then she ended up as one of the most dominant forces in that season. I wouldn’t be surprised if Hali could pull off something similar. She’s an unobjectionable, athletic person so I really don’t see any way she won’t make the merge. I think the most likely scenario for Hali is that she’ll be a loyal number in the majority alliance and if she plays her cards right she could be sitting in the final three next to two other players that have pissed the jury off. Hali could very easily be the winner of this season, but she’s a bit of a wild card here so it’s hard to say for sure.  

Winner Potential: 7/10 Entertainment Value: 4/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 1/10

JT Thomas 

Previous seasons: Tocantins (season 18), Heroes vs Villains (season 20)

In modern Survivor lore, JT is best known for giving away an immunity idol to Actual Troll Russel Hantz, which ultimately led to his demise. People are quick to shit on JT for this major misplay in Heroes vs Villains. Yes, it was possibly the worst move in the history of Survivor. However, that doesn’t negate the perfect game he played back in Tocantins. JT was the first player to have no votes cast against them throughout the game and then sweep the jury vote at the end. So obviously, he did something right. JT’s main strength is his social game. In Tocantins, there were people who said that they would rather see JT win than themselves. Imagine how charming you would have to be to get someone to admit that they would gladly hand you a million dollars. But I think JT got caught up in the strategy-heavy atmosphere of Heroes vs Villains and tried to make a huge move that ultimately blew up in his face.

If JT plays his cards right, he could easily make it deep into the game. As long as he relies on the charm and friendliness that won him Tocantins and not the misguided strategy that lost him Heroes vs Villains, he’ll sail right to the merge. Once he hits the merge, though, he’ll probably become a target once other challenge beasts like Ozzy are out of the way. It’s unlikely that JT is going to win this season, but I do hope he redeems himself this time around. He was once regarded as one of the best social players in Survivor history, so I hope we can see that side of him again. All in all, though, his odds of winning are pretty slim.

Winner Potential: 4/10 Entertainment Value: 5/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 8/10

Jeff Varner

Previous seasons: Australian Outback (season 2), Cambodia: Second Chances (season 31)

Back in season two, Varner was lauded as the “next Richard Hatch.” For the episodes that he was around in, he didn’t quite live up to that legacy, but he certainly showed potential. His boot in Australia was the result of a number of circumstances outside of his control, no matter how many references to peanut butter he makes. When he came back for Cambodia, though, he was ready to play. Varner only made it through four episodes, but while he was there he was a firecracker. He did his best to keep up with the fast-paced strategy of the game and probably would have made the merge if it weren’t for the fact that he ended up on the dreaded Angkor tribe. He did seem to be playing a little too aggressively though, and his reputation as a shit-stirrer has followed him into season 34.

I’m curious to see if he’s learned from his experience in Cambodia. If he can be just a little more patient, a little more calm, he could be pretty successful out here. He burned out pretty quickly in Cambodia and I’m worried it will happen again. More than that, I’m worried the rest of the season 34 cast will remember his antics and not trust him as a result. Starting off on a tribe with Sandra, Tony, Ciera, and Troyzan will probably lead to some fireworks from Varner before he finally goes home. Jeff has never sat on the jury before, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he fell short of the jury again.

Winner potential: 4/10 Entertainment value: 9/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 2/10

Malcolm Freberg

Previous seasons: Philippines (season 25), Caramoan (season 26)

Malcolm Freberg is everything people pretend Joe Anglim is and more. The man is strong, smart, and charming as hell. What is it about Malcolm that makes him so great? My current theory is that he, along with the likes of Kim Spradlin and Earl Cole, was made in a lab that set out to design the optimal human to play Survivor. Of course, he hasn’t actually won, but if he had, he’d be a top 5 winner for sure. During his humble beginnings on Survivor: Philippines, he survived the worst tribe in the history of the show and made it all the way to the final four, where he was ultimately ousted because everyone knew they didn’t stand a chance against him. His return for Survivor: Caramoan was less successful, but that whole season is marred by the existence of Phillip Sheppard so it’s hard to hold that against him. Malcolm’s most famous move from that season was his double-idol play that bought him exactly three extra days in the game. It was a little too flashy for my taste, but hey, good TV is good TV.

This time around, Malcolm stands in a pretty good spot. He’s just shy of being one of the big-name legends on the cast without being clueless cannon fodder. There are plenty of bigger targets around that will steal focus away from him in the early game, allowing him to lay the groundwork and forge a strong alliance to carry him to the end. His starting tribe, Mana, is chock-full of loose cannons like Tony, Troyzan, and Varner. While they’re focused on each other I can easily foresee Malcolm bonding with the women, particularly Aubry or Hali. He’s a strong challenge competitor and a smart strategist, but his disarming charm should be able to keep him from being perceived as too much of a threat. If you held a gun to my head I’d probably pick Malcolm as the winner of season 34, but I don’t want to jinx it.

Winner potential: 9/10 Entertainment value: 6/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 7/10

Michaela Bradshaw

Previous season: Millennials vs Gen X (season 33)

Hell yes. Michaela was probably my favorite cast member from season 33, and having her back so soon has me ecstatic. She didn’t even make the merge, but she was still one of the most memorable players from her season, and with good reason. For starters, she was a tough competitor and singlehandedly won challenges for her tribe more than once. Her straightforward personality was fun to watch, but I think it played a major role in her early departure. When the other millennials saw how Michaela was positioning herself for a win so early in the game, they knew they had to take her out as soon as possible. Probably for the best considering she could easily have destroyed them all in a final immunity challenge.

Michaela, along with Zeke, is in a very interesting position here. Game Changers filmed before Millennials vs Gen X, so no one has seen how she plays before. However, everyone knows she’s back for a reason. Will that raise any flags for the rest of the cast? Historically, players who return for a back-to-back season have done pretty well, so it could be an advantage, but at the same time, I expect the other Game Changers will be a little wary of Michaela at first. Ultimately, though, I think Michaela has a really good shot to win this. She doesn’t stick out immediately as a huge threat, but she knows what she’s doing. I’m very excited to see how she does this time around.

Winner Potential: 8/10 Entertainment Value: 8/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 6/10

Ozzy Lusth

Previous seasons: Cook Islands (season 13), Micronesia: Fans vs Favorites (season 16), South Pacific (season 23)

Ozzy Lusth is someone I didn’t expect to see on Survivor ever again. After his most recent loss in Survivor: South Pacific, it seemed like he had thrown in the towel. But here he is, ready for more. Historically, Ozzy was one of the most popular contestants in the history of the show, especially among the dreaded “casuals,” and it certainly wasn’t unearned. As a near-unbeatable challenge competitor, Ozzy kept his ragtag underdog alliance afloat through Survivor: Cook Islands, only to be defeated by Yul in a 5-4 vote in the final 3. His return to the show as a member of the Favorites tribe in the first Fans vs Favorites season was not as successful. Shortly after the merge, he was blindsided by the infamous Black Widow Brigade, headed by fellow Game Changer Cirie Fields. Ozzy did almost win South Pacific, but those were pretty specific circumstances. This time around, he doesn’t have the benefit of being surrounded by first-time players who worship the ground he walks on. He also doesn’t have the benefit of Redemption Island, the ill-fated twist that was designed to give strong challenge competitors like Ozzy a second, and in this case third, chance after being voted out.

Ozzy is another huge target on this season, but it would probably be stupid to vote him out pre-merge if his tribe wants to win any challenges.  That being said, if he gets swapped to a tribe where Nuku doesn’t have the numbers, he’s gone. And once the merge hits, Ozzy will get voted out the first time he’s vulnerable. Ozzy’s pre-game press surprised me. Ozzy’s reputation has always been that of a brash, over-confident athlete but he seems much more mature and subdued this time around. Maybe that can be enough to save him, but unfortunately I believe Ozzy’s reputation as a challenge beast will be enough to get him sent home immediately at the merge, if not earlier.

Winner Potential: 4/10 Entertainment Value: 7/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 9/10

Sandra Diaz-Twine

Previous seasons: Pearl Islands (season 7), Heroes vs Villains (season 20)

Ladies and gentlemen, the queen has returned! Using a strictly results-based metric, Sandra is unequivocally the best player of all time, seeing as she’s the only person to win twice. But even using an even more nuanced point of view, she’s still easily in the top 5. Sandra’s success can be attributed to her pragmatism and flexibility, which she aptly sums up with “As long as it ain’t me.” Sandra’s willingness to vote out anyone and to always go with the majority helped her slip through the cracks not once but twice and earned her a million dollars both times. A key part of Sandra’s strategy appears to be coupling herself with an abrasive but strategic man in order to make herself the less objectionable option at the end. Luckily for Sandra, there’s no shortage of abrasive men this time around.

If Sandra makes the merge, she has a decent shot at winning. Getting there, however, is going to be an uphill battle. Coming into Heroes vs. Villains, Sandra had the benefit of being surrounded by giants like Boston Rob and Parvati. But this time around, Sandra has become the Goliath and the rest of the cast is likely foaming at the mouth in anticipation of being the David to take her down. She’ll be fun to have around while she’s there, but it’s all but guaranteed that she’ll finally have her torch snuffed in season 34.

Winner Potential: 1/10 Entertainment value: 10/10 Game changer-y-ness: 10/10

Sarah Lacina

Previous season: Cagayan: Brains vs Brawn vs Beauty (season 28)

Sarah’s one of the more interesting people on this cast. She hasn’t done a whole lot to warrant a return, but the difference here is that she has potential. In Cagayan, Sarah was playing a great game until she pissed off the infamous Chaos Kass and got sent home for it. Barring that, though, Sarah had a good read on the people she was playing with. She was the only one to suspect that Tony was a cop and could tell he was lying when he said he wasn’t. Her main flaw was her rigidity in the vote following the merge. Had she been more willing to hear other people’s opinions on who to vote for, she might have made it much further, possibly even won.

I’m interested to see what happens with Sarah this time. My biggest fear is that she’ll try to play too aggressively from the start and she’ll burn out fast. And with Tony out there it’s not going to be easy for her to stay calm. However, if she learned from her experience in Cagayan, she might end up being one of the better players in this game. As long as she remains patient and flexible, she can go far. With the right people by her side, Sarah can probably pull off a win.  

Winner potential: 8/10 Entertainment value: 3/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 4/10

Sierra Dawn Thomas

Previous season: Worlds Apart (season 30)

Sierra Dawn Thomas is probably the most questionable choice for this cast. On her first season, she really didn’t do much. She stayed in her core alliance, voted the same way as everyone else every time, and that’s about it. I’m curious as to what the producers saw in her that warranted her return. But that’s what people said about Kelly Wentworth coming into Second Chances. So does Sierra have Wentworth upside? No. She doesn’t. Wentworth’s is a story of untapped potential. Sierra made it to fifth place. Honestly, that could be her full potential Sierra spent most of the late game of Worlds Apart in a great position to actually change the game as the swing vote, but she never took the chance and ended up in fifth place because of it. I would argue that Sierra is the opposite of a game changer.

As for her chances this time around, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that she’ll actually win. She’s so inoffensive and loyal to a fault that there is no way she won’t make it very deep into this game. If and when she does reach the final three, people could see her as a floater, or they could see her as a Natalie White-type under-the-radar strategist. It really depends on who she ends up hitching her wagon to, but it’s very possible that she could end up winning this season.

Winner Potential: 7/10 Entertainment Value: 2/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 0/10

Tai Trang

Previous season: Kaoh Rong (season 32)

Tai was probably the most popular contestant to come out of Kaoh Rong, but not really for any reason that would warrant the title of “game changer.” Tai’s main appeal is his sunny disposition and his compassion for all living things. Not exactly the qualities that lead to success in Survivor. In fact, it was his compassion that allowed Aubry to convince him to flip on his alliance, leading the women on a path to victory and Tai along for the ride. Tai tried to make moves of his own, but they never panned out, partially because he seemed to lack commitment. Once he made it to the final three, he was practically ignored because everyone could see that he was more or less carried there.

Tai, like the other folks from Kaoh Rong, will be front and center in people’s minds. Unlike the others, though, I don’t think he’ll be targeted. In fact, I think most people are going to look at Tai as a potential ally. Tai is an emotional, empathetic player that can easily be exploited by some of the more nefarious characters. What I’m saying is, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Tai end up in the same place he was last time around.

Winner potential: 2/10 Entertainment value: 7/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 3/10

Tony Vlachos

Previous season: Cagayan: Brains vs Brawn vs Beauty (season 28)

I could not be more excited to see the great Tony Vlachos return to Survivor. In Cagayan, Tony played a fast, chaotic game that no one thought could win. But lo and behold, Tony and his bag of tricks ended up taking home the million dollar check. The man plays like a lunatic, bouncing around between alliances and making up nigh-unbelievable lies. On paper, it shouldn’t work, but it did. Tony’s victory in Cagayan had a significant impact on the seasons that have followed. As a result, the type of hectic, non-stop gameplay that Tony brought the first time around might be pay off the same way.

Tony is easily the biggest target going into this game. If any of these other players know what they’re doing, they’ll vote out Tony as soon as they can. That being said, Tony always seems to have some tricks up his sleeve so I wouldn’t be surprised to see him take control of the Mana tribe and scramble his way deep into the game. Ultimately though, it’s so unlikely that Tony will make it to the merge, let alone the final tribal council, that it’s hard to be optimistic about his chances.  Not to mention, if Tony had a big head his time first around, I doubt his ego has somehow gotten smaller after winning a million dollars and being lauded as one of the greatest players in recent memory. And when you look at the other people on his tribe, it’s all but guaranteed that he’ll go out early because no one wants to let him get a foothold and scramble into another victory.

Winner potential: 1/10 Entertainment value: 10/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 11/10

Troyzan Robertson

Previous season: One World (season 24)

Oh god no. Troyzan represents a very dark time in Survivor history, back when casting relied on unstable and unlikeable cartoon characters rather than real people.  Troyzan is so arrogant and delusional that he refuses to admit he got outplayed by the best one-time player in Survivor history. It’s going to be straight-up exhausting to watch this man on Survivor a second time. I can only stomach so many temper tantrums from a fifty-year-old man who nicknamed himself after Tarzan. Worst of all, when America voted for the cast of Camobida, Troyzan was in the running and did not make it on. Hey, CBS, how about you listen to your fanbase? We collectively agreed that there were at least eleven other men we would rather see back than this asshole. Luckily, I don’t think Troyzan is going to make it very far here. He’s going to want to be the guy who votes out all the big players and get sniped himself. All it’ll take is one blow-up and he’ll be outta here. Can’t wait.

Winner potential: 1/10 Entertainment value: 3/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 2/10

Zeke Smith

Previous season: Millennials vs Gen X (season 33)

I’m surprised to see Zeke back, honestly. Not that I’m not thrilled, because I am. I love Zeke. I’m just surprised that the producers chose him over some of the other folks from Millennials vs Gen X. In any case, Zeke is a great player and I’m glad to see him back. His stint on season 33 showed that not only is he a strategic powerhouse, but he also is able to connect well with a wide variety of different people. He forged a strong alliance that would have run the game if it weren’t for the fact that the random rock drawn didn’t go their way. If it had, Zeke could very well have been the winner of season 33.

On season 34, I’m worried that Zeke, as a superfan, will be star struck by the likes of Tony and Sandra and that might cloud his judgement. If he can get past that though, he could end up on a similar trajectory so that of last season’s. I think most of the Game Changers are going to like Zeke, and that will get him far in the game. However, he’s a classic likeable late-game threat, so his alliance could end up turning on him once the final three is in sight. If, by some chance, Zeke does end up in the final three, his odds of winning are pretty good. It’s getting there that might be a little tricky.

Winner Potential: 7/10 Entertainment value: 7/10 Game Changer-y-ness: 5/10

So there you have it! If you actually read all that crap I thank you deeply. It’s only a matter of time until each and every one of these predictions is terribly wrong. But until then, enjoy the show!

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Abuse me, I’m stuck

Leaving his husband snoring his head off, Keith showered and dressed before stopping by the nursery to say goodbye to the pups. He'd left a note for Lance, and he knew his mate would be seriously pissed once he woke up, but he felt he was the best one out of all of them to sneak into Hag-Honerva's base. He really needed to stop falling back into the habit of calling the witch Haggar. She was Honerva. And Honerva was in the way of him and Lance forging a peaceful life back on Olkarion. Moving first to Kelance, he lifted his son from his crib

"Hey baby, your daddy is going on a super sneaky mission, and your mummy is probably going to be pretty angry, but daddy will be back"

Kissing Kelance's soft brown hair, he placed him back in his cot, before moving over to Laneith and repeating the same thing to his second son. He really didn't like leaving them sleeping without being guarded, but the safest place in the whole universe for them to be was in their cots

"Daddy's going to come back really soon. I love you guys"

He felt a fool for talking to his boys, when he knew they couldn't understand, he just... he needed them to know how much he loved them, and that he would be back. There was no way he wasn't going to be there to watch them grow. They'd already grown so much... he wanted to be there when they started crawling, and he wanted to hear their first words. He just... he wanted all of it.

 Leaving the nursery, Keith headed up to the bridge, knowing there was a 90 percent chance Shiro would be there. He was still angered over Shiro making a move on Lance, so now he was going to take Shiro as back up... partially because right now, he didn't care what happened the alpha. Lance had kissed him, and he'd kissed Lance. It stirred up such violent emotions that he wasn't completely sure he'd kept his anger in check before Lance had fallen asleep. They'd had sex, but he'd been rough with Lance, pining him down and teasing him until he cried for release, before pounding into his mate as he held his hips hard enough to bruise them. Yeah. He'd let his temper get the better of him, and being Lance, he hadn't complained at all. He hadn't even taken care of cleaning up his mate properly, instead he'd let Lance fall asleep before sneaking off to shower... maybe he was still ever so, a lot, mad over the kiss. Entering the bridge, he found Shiro standing there, moving objects around on the sensor screen used generally for tracking mission progress. He'd kept his tongue at dinner, though he knew that Shiro knew he knew

"Keith, do I want to know why you're dressed in your blade gear"

"Because you and I are going to infiltrate Honerva's base"

Swiping across the screen, it turned off, leaving his seeming somewhat more imposing 

"That's not the plan"

"I know it's not the plan. The plan is awful, like Lance said"

Shiro hefted as sigh as he scrubbed his face with his hand

"So what? Your solution is a potential suicide mission?"

"It's not a suicide mission. I can get close using a Galra fighter jet, much closer than Pidge could in her lion"

"Her lion has cloaking abilities"

"That Honerva probably already knows about. She's waiting for us"

"You don't know that"

"Lance is right. We haven't been thinking as she would. She is obsessed with power and knowledge, meaning she's more than likely kept tabs on all of us. She'll be expecting the lions"

"On the same hand, doesn't that mean she's also expecting us to think like that, and will be expecting some kind of Galra based craft"

"Not necessarily. Well, actually yes, due to the infection that is. She's collecting that black goop and we need to know why. I refuse to put anyone else in danger"

"Pidge, Lance and the pups are fine"

"But it's always them being hurt. If it means they stay here where they are safe, it's for the best"

"So your happy to gamble both our lives"

It was a statement, not a question. Shiro's eyes hard as he stared at Keith 

"Yes. It's my role as leader of Voltron to be the one most in danger. It's your role as the alpha who made a move on my husband to back off and listen to me"

"I had a feeling Lance told you"

"I know all about both kisses and you have no idea how much I want to tear your throat out"

"Keith"

"No. You can at least keep look out. You don't need two arms to open your mouth at the first sight of trouble"

"I would feel better if you would calm down and rethink this"

"There's nothing to think. We are doing this"

 "Not without me, you're not"

Turning to look to Allura, Keith sighed to himself 

"Allura, it's too dangerous"

"So dangerous you'd just take Shiro and leave?"

"I want to protect everyone"

"You don't need to protect me. I can protect myself, and if you encounter Altean Alchemy, you will need an Altean to work it"

"And what about the castle? What if it comes under attack? You're the only one who can activate the teladuv"

"Coran can activate the shields once we've left. You and Lance are continually running off into battle, thinking you're protecting us, when in reality you're alienating yourself from the rest of the team. We're all tired of this martyr attitude you've both adopted and how many times has Lance fallen apart because of it. He's finally getting better, and working at finding a balance. I will not allow him to fall back into depression because you thought you could handle it all on your own"

"Actually, Shiro is coming with me"

"No offence Shiro, but in a fire fight, you'd become a liability. We need him coordinating between us and Voltron"

"We can't transmit back to the castle without the frequency waves being detected"

"Then let's not mess this up"

Looking from Allura to Shiro, Shiro shrugged 

"You can't really say no to the Queen"

"I can and I am. Sorry Allura, but your the only reason we are in an alliance with the Galra. You can't be seen acting like this. I'm not saying Lotor will turn on us if things go from bad to worse, but he's definitely only hanging around to be with you, and if we end up captured or something, you're the only one who can convince him too help"

"But Shiro..."

"Shiro owes me"

"How? What does Shiro owe you for? For Lance? For something that happened deca-phoebes ago?"

"Not quite deca-phoebes, and not even in a quintant ago"

"What are you talking about?"

"He kissed Lance, and Lance kissed him. That's why Lance was so spacey, because he was scared to talk to me. So Shiro's coming for a nice little flight, so we can sort this out"

"Keith"

"Allura, you know I don't like pulling rank or being a quiznak about it all, but this is what's happening. Shiro and I will get close to the barrier, and if we can get in, we will"

"You're putting both your lives in danger"

"Allura, he's made up his mind. And he's right, I did kiss Lance. As his mate and alpha, Keith has the right to call me out on this"

"But..."

"It'll be fine"

"Can't he "call you out"? in another way?"

 "It's his right, as his husband"

Sprung in the act yet again, Pidge and Hunk walked into the bridge. Great. He was trying to involve as few people as possible, and now almost everyone was here

"Keith, buddy. Want to tell us what you've got going on here?"

"Not really"

Placing her hands on her hips, Allura looked like a mum who'd completely had it with her shitty kids behaviour 

"He and Shiro are going to check Honerva's base up close"

"You can't take Shiro, he's only got one arm"

"Thanks, Pidge. I hadn't noticed"

"Sometimes I have to wonder"

"If anything happens, he can't pilot his way out of there"

Seriously? Keith really just wanted to say he was completely ok with that, buuuuut it wouldn't go over well

"This plan is worse than ours and ours is awful"

"I thought you agreed with the plan, Pidge?"

"I agreed because I believe in Green. I don't believe in Lotor"

"Guys, can we just go... before Lance wakes up?"

"You didn't tell him?"

"I left him a note, he needs to rest"

"Keith..."

"Enough. Fine. I'm going in on my own. Stay here with Shiro then, but if he goes near Lance, I will go for his throat"

"Well that escalated quickly. Shiro, what did you do?"

"He kissed Lance"

Hunk groaned 

"Seriously! Haven't we had enough Lance/Shiro/Keith drama for a lifetime? Shiro, bud, not cool. He's married"

"I am well aware of that fact"

"Then why did you kiss Lance?"

"I was trying to reassure him..."

Hunk groaned again, crossing over to Shiro, he wrapped an arm around Shiro's shoulder

"I think you and I need to have a little talk about my best friend. Keith. Take someone with you..."

"Krolia needs to be here to help Lance. Allura needs to be here to be able to use the castle to its full capacity. Pidge... Pidge is not getting hurt again anytime soon and I am not going to be responsible for Matt's life. Which leave Lotor, you and Lance. None of which I want up close with Honerva"

"Then don't go"

"Lance and I both agree that your plan is flawed. I'm just going to check things out and if I can get in, I'll go from there"

"Keith"

"I'm doing this"

Though the whole point of him angrily storming around in the middle of the night was to mess with Shiro... and now that had been ruined. Turning towards the door, Keith stalked towards it with his hands firmly clenched into fists.

 Though half tempted to take Black, Keith headed down to the castle's main hangar instead. Though most of the room there was taken up by Lotor's ship, there was still plenty of space to manoeuvre one of their acquired fighter jets around it. Double checking his gear as he went, it didn't take him long to cross over to the nearest Galra jet and climb in, immediately wrinkling his nose as he did. He could still smell the stink of his rut in the small confided space, and memories of masturbating in front of his own mother turned his cheeks bright red. Shaking his head to rid himself temporarily of the memories, Keith slowly went about flicking the jets controls on. He could do this...

"Keith! Wait!"

Jerking his head up, he was surprised he even heard Allura yelling out for him. Powering the jet back down, the woman jogged over and opened the cockpit glass

"What are you doing?"

"I can't sit here and do nothing, so I'm coming with you"

"Allura, we talked about this"

"Yes, and I've given it thought. Honerva is an enemy to the whole universe, and it is my duty to stop her, not only as a Paladin, or as the queen, but as a fellow Altean. There was good in her once, perhaps we can find it again"

"Allura, I know you see the best in everyone, but she was by Zarkon's side for 10,000 years. I think any good that was in her is long gone"

"Perhaps. I still need to try, so I'm coming with you, or I'll enable the ships defences, making it impossible for you to leave"

"Seriously?"

"Let's just say I have learnt a thing or two in our time together"

The wrong things by the seems of it... though Allura could be quite the rebel when she wanted to 

"Allura..."

"I know you don't like it, but it's happening and I want to see for myself what Honerva is up to"

"We don't even know if we can get close"

"And we won't as long as we're sitting here"

Groaning internally, Keith started the fighter jet back up.

  *

Well quiznak. This could be a small issue. Like with Daibazaal, there was a stupid amount of black goop spread the shield around Honerva's planet... moon... base... thing. More than enough to prevent them getting close, and they hadn't even been contacted Honerva, despite the proximity to her base 

"Do you think we can get close enough?"

"I don't know. This feels off. Why hasn't Honerva tried to contact us?"

"Perhaps she can't?"

"This is Honerva, if she can drain the castle of power and destroy Oriande, I'm sure she has a plan for this, and the way the black entity is clinging to her base, I think it's fair to say, there's a massive amount of pure quintessence in there"

"That is troubling... let's get closer"

Keith snorted to himself, entirely sure that those words weren't supposed to be used together so easily. 

 Continuing the descent towards the shield, the black goop ignored them almost completely, allowing them to get close enough to see what was actually happening under the blue shimmering shield. Honerva had established a large circular central base, with five out branching corridors each ending in clear domes, though they seemed to be empty, there were clear pipes of Blue quintessence running along the top of them, so they were clearly practically...

"Allura, what do you see? Anything Altean?"

"No... the layout she's using isn't traditionally Altean. Perhaps we should have brought Lance with us?"

"Why?"

"Because he seems to have a special connection to quintessence. He wasn't affected with withdrawal like we were, and you said he absorbed it into himself with no ill effects. Perhaps he'd get a better feel for what's happening here than we would"

Keith was more than happy to leave Lance back on the castle, where he was safe and hopefully staying out of trouble. Steering the conversation back away from Lance, Keith pulled up on the jets controls

"I don't think we're getting in there without an invitation"

"Neither do I. Perhaps Lotor will be able to contact Honerva?"

"And say what? "Hi mum, its me, just popping by to spy on your super secret base?", I don't think it's a smart idea relying on Lotor to remain loyal"

Allura sighed, clearly tired of hearing the same thing 

"He did supply us with the quintessence we needed to save Pidge and Kelance"

"Which I'm grateful for, but it just as easily could have gone wrong"

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

WAD LIAO 76 FULL

Leaving his husband snoring his head off, Keith showered and dressed before stopping by the nursery to say goodbye to the pups. He'd left a note for Lance, and he knew his mate would be seriously pissed once he woke up, but he felt he was the best one out of all of them to sneak into Hag-Honerva's base. He really needed to stop falling back into the habit of calling the witch Haggar. She was Honerva. And Honerva was in the way of him and Lance forging a peaceful life back on Olkarion. Moving first to Kelance, he lifted his son from his crib "Hey baby, your daddy is going on a super sneaky mission, and your mummy is probably going to be pretty angry, but daddy will be back" Kissing Kelance's soft brown hair, he placed him back in his cot, before moving over to Laneith and repeating the same thing to his second son. He really didn't like leaving them sleeping without being guarded, but the safest place in the whole universe for them to be was in their cots "Daddy's going to come back really soon. I love you guys" He felt a fool for talking to his boys, when he knew they couldn't understand, he just... he needed them to know how much he loved them, and that he would be back. There was no way he wasn't going to be there to watch them grow. They'd already grown so much... he wanted to be there when they started crawling, and he wanted to hear their first words. He just... he wanted all of it. Leaving the nursery, Keith headed up to the bridge, knowing there was a 90 percent chance Shiro would be there. He was still angered over Shiro making a move on Lance, so now he was going to take Shiro as back up... partially because right now, he didn't care what happened the alpha. Lance had kissed him, and he'd kissed Lance. It stirred up such violent emotions that he wasn't completely sure he'd kept his anger in check before Lance had fallen asleep. They'd had sex, but he'd been rough with Lance, pining him down and teasing him until he cried for release, before pounding into his mate as he held his hips hard enough to bruise them. Yeah. He'd let his temper get the better of him, and being Lance, he hadn't complained at all. He hadn't even taken care of cleaning up his mate properly, instead he'd let Lance fall asleep before sneaking off to shower... maybe he was still ever so, a lot, mad over the kiss. Entering the bridge, he found Shiro standing there, moving objects around on the sensor screen used generally for tracking mission progress. He'd kept his tongue at dinner, though he knew that Shiro knew he knew "Keith, do I want to know why you're dressed in your blade gear" "Because you and I are going to infiltrate Honerva's base" Swiping across the screen, it turned off, leaving his seeming somewhat more imposing "That's not the plan" "I know it's not the plan. The plan is awful, like Lance said" Shiro hefted as sigh as he scrubbed his face with his hand "So what? Your solution is a potential suicide mission?" "It's not a suicide mission. I can get close using a Galra fighter jet, much closer than Pidge could in her lion" "Her lion has cloaking abilities" "That Honerva probably already knows about. She's waiting for us" "You don't know that" "Lance is right. We haven't been thinking as she would. She is obsessed with power and knowledge, meaning she's more than likely kept tabs on all of us. She'll be expecting the lions" "On the same hand, doesn't that mean she's also expecting us to think like that, and will be expecting some kind of Galra based craft" "Not necessarily. Well, actually yes, due to the infection that is. She's collecting that black goop and we need to know why. I refuse to put anyone else in danger" "Pidge, Lance and the pups are fine" "But it's always them being hurt. If it means they stay here where they are safe, it's for the best" "So your happy to gamble both our lives" It was a statement, not a question. Shiro's eyes hard as he stared at Keith "Yes. It's my role as leader of Voltron to be the one most in danger. It's your role as the alpha who made a move on my husband to back off and listen to me" "I had a feeling Lance told you" "I know all about both kisses and you have no idea how much I want to tear your throat out" "Keith" "No. You can at least keep look out. You don't need two arms to open your mouth at the first sight of trouble" "I would feel better if you would calm down and rethink this" "There's nothing to think. We are doing this" "Not without me, you're not" Turning to look at Allura, Keith sighed to himself "Allura, it's too dangerous" "So dangerous you'd just take Shiro and leave?" "I want to protect everyone" "You don't need to protect me. I can protect myself, and if you encounter Altean Alchemy, you will need an Altean to work it" "And what about the castle? What if it comes under attack? You're the only one who can activate the teladuv" "Coran can activate the shields once we've left. You and Lance are continually running off into battle, thinking you're protecting us, when in reality you're alienating yourself from the rest of the team. We're all tired of this martyr attitude you've both adopted and how many times has Lance fallen apart because of it. He's finally getting better, and working at finding a balance. I will not allow him to fall back into depression because you thought you could handle it all on your own" "Actually, Shiro is coming with me" "No offence Shiro, but in a fire fight, you'd become a liability. We need him coordinating between us and Voltron" "We can't transmit back to the castle without the frequency waves being detected" "Then let's not mess this up" Looking from Allura to Shiro, Shiro shrugged "You can't really say no to the Queen" "I can and I am. Sorry Allura, but your the only reason we are in an alliance with the Galra. You can't be seen acting like this. I'm not saying Lotor will turn on us if things go from bad to worse, but he's definitely only hanging around to be with you, and if we end up captured or something, you're the only one who can convince him too help" "But Shiro..." "Shiro owes me" "How? What does Shiro owe you for? For Lance? For something that happened deca-phoebes ago?" "Not quite deca-phoebes, and not even in a quintant ago" "What are you talking about?" "He kissed Lance, and Lance kissed him. That's why Lance was so spacey, because he was scared to talk to me. So Shiro's coming for a nice little flight, so we can sort this out" "Keith" "Allura, you know I don't like pulling rank or being a quiznak about it all, but this is what's happening. Shiro and I will get close to the barrier, and if we can get in, we will" "You're putting both your lives in danger" "Allura, he's made up his mind. And he's right, I did kiss Lance. As his mate and alpha, Keith has the right to call me out on this" "But..." "It'll be fine" "Can't he "call you out"? in another way?" "It's his right, as his husband" Sprung in the act yet again, Pidge and Hunk walked into the bridge. Great. He was trying to involve as few people as possible, and now almost everyone was here "Keith, buddy. Want to tell us what you've got going on here?" "Not really" Placing her hands on her hips, Allura looked like a mum who'd completely had it with her shitty kids behaviour "He and Shiro are going to check Honerva's base up close" "You can't take Shiro, he's only got one arm" "Thanks, Pidge. I hadn't noticed" "Sometimes I have to wonder" "If anything happens, he can't pilot his way out of there" Seriously? Keith really just wanted to say he was completely ok with that, buuuuut it wouldn't go over well "This plan is worse than ours and ours is awful" "I thought you agreed with the plan, Pidge?" "I agreed because I believe in Green. I don't believe in Lotor" "Guys, can we just go... before Lance wakes up?" "You didn't tell him?" "I left him a note, he needs to rest" "Keith..." "Enough. Fine. I'm going in on my own. Stay here with Shiro then, but if he goes near Lance, I will go for his throat" "Well, that escalated quickly. Shiro, what did you do?" "He kissed Lance" Hunk groaned "Seriously! Haven't we had enough Lance/Shiro/Keith drama for a lifetime? Shiro, bud, not cool. He's married" "I am well aware of that fact" "Then why did you kiss Lance?" "I was trying to reassure him..." Hunk groaned again, crossing over to Shiro, he wrapped an arm around Shiro's shoulder "I think you and I need to have a little talk about my best friend. Keith. Take someone with you..." "Krolia needs to be here to help Lance. Allura needs to be here to be able to use the castle to its full capacity. Pidge... Pidge is not getting hurt again anytime soon and I am not going to be responsible for Matt's life. Which leave Lotor, you and Lance. None of which I want up close with Honerva" "Then don't go" "Lance and I both agree that your plan is flawed. I'm just going to check things out and if I can get in, I'll go from there" "Keith" "I'm doing this" Though the whole point of him angrily storming around in the middle of the night was to mess with Shiro... and now that had been ruined. Turning towards the door, Keith stalked towards it with his hands firmly clenched into fists. Though half tempted to take Black, Keith headed down to the castle's main hangar instead. Though most of the room there was taken up by Lotor's ship, there was still plenty of space to manoeuvre one of their acquired fighter jets around it. Double checking his gear as he went, it didn't take him long to cross over to the nearest Galra jet and climb in, immediately wrinkling his nose as he did. He could still smell the stink of his rut in the small confided space, and memories of masturbating in front of his own mother turned his cheeks bright red. Shaking his head to rid himself temporarily of the memories, Keith slowly went about flicking the jet's controls on. He could do this... "Keith! Wait!" Jerking his head up, he was surprised he even heard Allura yelling out for him. Powering the jet back down, the woman jogged over and opened the cockpit glass "What are you doing?" "I can't sit here and do nothing, so I'm coming with you" "Allura, we talked about this" "Yes, and I've given it thought. Honerva is an enemy to the whole universe, and it is my duty to stop her, not only as a Paladin, or as the queen, but as a fellow Altean. There was good in her once, perhaps we can find it again" "Allura, I know you see the best in everyone, but she was by Zarkon's side for 10,000 years. I think any good that was in her is long gone" "Perhaps. I still need to try, so I'm coming with you, or I'll enable the ships defences, making it impossible for you to leave" "Seriously?" "Let's just say I have learnt a thing or two in our time together" The wrong things by the seem of it... though Allura could be quite the rebel when she wanted to "Allura..." "I know you don't like it, but it's happening and I want to see for myself what Honerva is up to" "We don't even know if we can get close" "And we won't, as long as we're sitting here" Groaning internally, Keith started the fighter jet back up. * Well quiznak. This could be a small issue. Like with Daibazaal, there was a stupid amount of black goop spread the shield around Honerva's planet... moon... base... thing. More than enough to prevent them getting close, and they hadn't even been contacted Honerva, despite the proximity to her base "Do you think we can get close enough?" "I don't know. This feels off. Why hasn't Honerva tried to contact us?" "Perhaps she can't?" "This is Honerva, if she can drain the castle of power and destroy Oriande, I'm sure she has a plan for this, and the way the black entity is clinging to her base, I think it's fair to say, there's a massive amount of pure quintessence in there" "That is troubling... let's get closer" Keith snorted to himself, entirely sure that those words weren't supposed to be used together so easily. Continuing the descent towards the shield, the black goop ignored them almost completely, allowing them to get close enough to see what was actually happening under the blue shimmering shield. Honerva had established a large circular central base, with five out branching corridors each ending in clear domes, though they seemed to be empty, there were clear pipes of Blue quintessence running along the top of them, so they were clearly practically... "Allura, what do you see? Anything Altean?" "No... the layout she's using isn't traditionally Altean. Perhaps we should have brought Lance with us?" "Why?" "Because he seems to have a special connection to quintessence. He wasn't affected by withdrawal like we were, and you said he absorbed it into himself with no ill effects. Perhaps he'd get a better feel for what's happening here than we would" Keith was more than happy to leave Lance back on the castle, where he was safe and hopefully staying out of trouble. Steering the conversation back away from Lance, Keith pulled up on the jet's controls "I don't think we're getting in there without an invitation" "Neither do I. Perhaps Lotor will be able to contact Honerva?" "And say what? "Hi mum, its me, just popping by to spy on your super secret base?", I don't think it's a smart idea relying on Lotor to remain loyal" Allura sighed, clearly tired of hearing the same thing a hundred one times "He did supply us with the quintessence we needed to save Pidge and Kelance" "Which I'm grateful for, but it just as easily could have gone wrong. Besides, he didn't look happy at all about it being absorbed into Lance" "That's probably because we promised to return it. Though I do have to worry about why Lance in particular has developed the ability to withstand it" "Most probably it's because of the blessing your father bestowed on him. He's been the only one who can fully tap into the power we received at Atlantis with relative ease" "But doesn't it worry you?" "Of course it worries me, but Lance has improved so much. His mental health is in the best place it's been... probably since his first heat out here" "I just don't understand. Quintessence is life. It's found in every single living thing, and if anyone should have any particular connection with it, shouldn't it be Shiro or Lotor?" "Shiro and Lotor are both quick to anger, though Shiro hides it better than the most alphas. Lance is... well, Lance is Lance. When he gets kicked down, he takes it until he can't take anymore. He cares about everyone before himself, and maybe that's why?" "Are you saying Shiro doesn't?" "No, I'm saying Shiro has his own agenda" "You make it sound like we can't trust him" "I'm not saying that... though he hasn't exactly proven himself trustworthy with Lance. I don't care if he loves him. Lance doesn't love him back" "The heart is a complicated thing" "And being in love fills you with anxieties you never knew existed. It's probably for the best you came instead of Shiro. I was about ready to dump him out in space" "Is this going to affect the team?" "No. Not as long as he keeps his distance from Lance..." Allura sighed again, settling back in her chair as she did "I wish we knew what Honerva had planned, and what her end game is" "Don't we all?" As expected, Lance wasn't impressed with him in the slightest. His mate was standing in the hangar, waiting for them alone. One look at the teens face told him was in deep quiznak. Leaving the pair alone, Allura probably had the right idea. Pulling his helmet off, Keith approached Lance, trying to act as casually as he could while his heart raced "Hey baby" He'd barely stepped within range of Lance before he slapped him across the face. Yep. Lance was mad and he probably... definitely... deserved it "Don't you "Hey baby" me. Do you have any idea how worried I was?" Grabbing Keith by his jacket, his mate pulled him close, sealing their lips together for a moment, then grabbing him by the hair and yanking hard "Lance!" "I'm so mad at you!" "I get that, but can you please let go of my hair" "No! If I let you go, what's to say you're not going to take off again" "I said I was coming back" "You said you intended to infiltrate Honerva's base. Thank god the shield was up" "How do you know the shield was up?" "Because you came back" Finally releasing his hair, Lance plucked the hairs he'd ripped out from between his fingers with a frown "I didn't mean to actually hurt you" "It's fine. I mean. I might have deserved it" "No. You were just doing what you thought was right. I'm just cranky because..." Lance shook his head, letting out a long breath as he did "Because of what?" "It's nothing. I just ate too much, and then having sex, my stomach just feels a little gross" Keith raised his free hand to check Lance's temperature. His mate didn't look or smell sick. Capturing his hand, Lance shot him an annoyed look "I'm fine" "Baby" "I'm fine. Like I said, too much food" "Are you sure?" Rolling his eyes, Lance turned and started leading him from the hangar "Yes I'm sure. Now tell me what happened" "Nothing. The goop was over about a quarter of the base's shield, and Honerva didn't try contacting us. At this point, she probably can't even leave her base because of it" "So what does that mean for us? We came all this way" "We could have Lotor contact her. That's what Allura wants" "You know, if we could trap him there with Honerva..." "That wouldn't accomplish anything... unless we blew the planet up" "Then who would lead the Galra? Can you imagine Kolivan? He'd be ruthless. You're 5 ticks overdue, better shoot you out the sky" Keith smiled softly, Lance's anger was fading "He's not quite that bad" "How many times did he nearly leave you behind?" "Well..." "Nope. Don't answer, I don't want to know" "That's probably for the best... where are we headed?" "Down to the nursery. Your son's haven't stopped crying for vargas" "Vargas? Allura and I weren't even gone that long" "You were gone for 8 vargas. I know she's beautiful and bewitching, but you really should keep better track of time" There was no way he and Allura could have been gone that long. They'd chatted off and on, but definitely not enough for it to have been 8 vargas "Are you sure it was that long?" "Going on the fact the bed was cold by the time I woke up and that was 6 vargas ago... I'm going to go with yes" "Sorry baby..." "Don't say sorry. It only makes me mad at you again" Krolia was trying to hush both boys as they walked into the nursery. His heart ached as they screamed unhappily "Keith! Good, take one of the pups" Lifting Kelance from his mother, he rocked the boy as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed "Hey. Hey it's ok. Daddy is here. Daddy came back, just like he said he would" Kelance didn't care in the slightest, as he continued to scream. Looking up from his red-faced son, he frowned at the fact Lance hadn't taken Laneith "What's wrong?" "Nothing. I'm just watching the pair of you with them. I really wished we had more family photos" "That's nice and all Lance, but perhaps you should take Laneith. I'm sure he'd be happier with you" Stumbling over his own feet, Lance lifted Laneith from Krolia, the woman's eyes locking on his for a fraction too long as his omega took their son "Is something wrong?" "Lance tripped" "I stumbled. I'm tired and my stomach feels gross" "Didn't you two go back to bed after dinner?" "Mum, do you really want to know what we were doing?" His mother sighed dramatically "You already have two pups..." "Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with showing Lance just how much I love him" "Keith!" "What? You're beautiful and you know it" "Krolia, you should probably go. I think I'm about ready to murder your son" "Please don't. You'll need all the help you can get when my next grandchild comes" "Ugh. No. No babies for a very long time. Thanks for watching them Krolia" Krolia hummed before leaving, leaving Keith puzzled over his mother's behaviour. With Lance leaning against them, both of them were still trying to settle the boys. They'd been fed, changed, bathed and were still screaming. Lance had tried singing them some soft Spanish song that Keith had never heard before, and secretly he loved it. He had no idea what his mate was saying, but the love on his face was evident as he sang. That was what they should be taking photos of, not of him and his mother. Now, however, they were just both exhausted. The pups were probably just as exhausted, yet their lungs were perfectly fine... closing his eyes, Keith tried to will away a headache that had formed from all their crying "Keith?" "Lance" "Are you ok? You smell pained" "It's just a headache" "If you want to go back to bed, I can stay with them" "No. They're my sons too. I'm not leaving you to deal with this alone" "Is it selfish I'm relieved you said that? Because I really need to use the bathroom" Keith would have laughed if his head hadn't hurt so much. Taking their second pup into his hold, he laid back onto the bed with the pair of them staring down at him "I know. I know it's awful, but mummy doesn't feel great. So, can you guys please give us a little break?" It made no difference at all, the pair were still crying when Lance returned. Climbing onto the bed, Keith frowned at Lance hissed "Baby?" Sniffing cautiously, he smelt very faint traces of blood "Lance, what's wrong?" "Nothing, give him here" "I smell blood"Too tired to even blush, Lance just huffed "What you smell is from you pounding me like there was no tomorrow" "I hurt you?" "It's just a little tearing... probably because I was trying to keep rocking even though you'd knotted me. I'm fine. Sheesh, now gimme a baby" This time Lance took Kelance, the omega positioning himself with his back against the wall of the bed "Yes baby, I know. Mummy just doesn't get it, and he's sorry" "It's ok, daddy doesn't get it either. Do you think they'd settle down if we took them for a walk?" "You just want to pass them onto Uncle Hunk and Aunty Pidge" "Maybe... it's been vargas and they won't settle. We both haven't eaten or had anything to drink" Lance sighed and looked across the nursery "What is it?" "Getting up seems too much effort" "Hunk would probably bring us food..." "No. I don't want him going out of his way, especially if he's got to listen to these two. We'll head up to the kitchen, and see what the others are doing... besides, I'm too tired to pick a fight with anyone right now" * The moment they'd stepped into the kitchen, Hunk had rushed over and lifted Kelance from Lance. For some unknown and magical reason, the pup finally stopped. Kelance finally stopped crying and without his brother crying, Laneith's howls also came to an end. Dropping his forehead against Hunk's shoulder Lance let out a huge sigh of relief "Hunk. You are the baby whisperer" "That bad buddy?" "How long has Keith and Allura been back?" "Roughly 5 vargas" "They started screaming about 11 vargas ago... 11 vargas. How is that even humanly possible" Slinging his arm around Lance's shoulder, Hunk guided Lance to sit, before finally looking to him "Keith, you should sit" "I don't know if I'm going to be able to get back up if I do" "You'll have to. Shiro, Lotor and Allura have been talking about what to do" "Oh joy" Lance's words summed up his own personal feelings perfectly. Crossing his arms on the countertop, Lance buried his face against them "Is he alright?" "I'm fine. I'm just tired" "And his stomachs a little upset. Can you make him something easy to eat?" "Dobber. Hunk, I ate too much... your food is too good" "Bud, you didn't eat that much at dinner" "Yes, I did. You just weren't paying attention" "Sure. What do you feel like eating?" "So we have something like rice porridge? Or normal porridge. I don't feel like chewing" "We have goo..." "No goo... I miss earth food" "Baby, your body didn't love Earth food" "Maybe I'll throw up and feel better... I never thought I'd miss throwing up" Keith shared the same concerned look as Hunk did. Neither of them liked how easily Lance mentioned vomiting intentionally "I'll see what I can do" Keith watched as Hunk began rummaging through the kitchen cupboards while trying to think of something to say... only he had no idea what to, especially since he couldn't ask Hunk what he and Shiro had talked about when it came to Shiro kissing Lance. So he just sat there in awkward silence, until Lance let out a long and loud snore "Well, that's great. I was about to make him porridge" "He needs food just as much as he needs sleep. Is there anything I can do to help?" "Make sure he doesn't fall off his stool while cook?" "That's the last thing we need. He actually slapped me for sneaking out" "Do you blame him?" "No. Did he come see you guys while we were gone?" "No. I just thought he was still sleeping. I'm glad you found him though, I had no idea what I was going to say" "I didn't either... is it safe to ask what you said to Shiro?" "Nothing really. I just reminded him that Lance was married to you and that we're living in the same castle, so maybe hitting on Lance wasn't the smartest decision" "How did that go?" "We talked a little. Did you know he loved Lance before what happened? That's why he was sort of distant with him" "Not-Shiro said as much. I was hoping it was just a lie" "No. He's struggling with everything because he can't remember what happened, but now Lance is married to you, and you have twin pups. He cares a lot for Lance, and he knows he overstepped his bounds" "Overstepped? You mean leaped over and kept running..." Hunk let his comment hang unanswered as went about putting the porridge on to cook "It's hard for him too. I definitely do not approve of what he did, especially not to Lance, but... it can be hard. When you love someone, I mean" "Yeah. I know I shouldn't be so angry when it comes to Lance, but he's just suffered so much. We were talking about getting another house on Olkarion, maybe something more permanent" "You were?" "Yeah. It all depends on Lance though... what about you and Pidge?" "We're fine on the castle. We have figured out how to connect most Earth things to the castle's electrical system now" "Nerds" "Pidge is more of a nerd than I am" "Where is she?" "With Matt. Spending quality brother-sister time bonding over coding" Letting out another long snore, they both lowered their tones as not to wake Lance "Do you want me to call Pidge, or Coran or Allura? Lance looks like he'll be out for a while, and you'll probably want to be the one to carry him" "Allura would probably be mad if we didn't call her for babysitting duty. I think mum's still sleeping. She was looking after them so Lance could wait for me" "Allura it is, I hope you don't mind honey in the porridge" "You didn't have to make me anything" "Keith, you haven't eaten either. It's fine" Allura arrived in the kitchen, just as Hunk placed two bowls of steaming porridge down in front of him and Lance "Something smells good" "It's called porridge. Lance asked if I could make him some" "Before falling asleep. Is he alright like that?" "He hasn't fallen down yet, but I was hoping you'd be up for a little babysitting..." "Of course I am. Which one is this?" "Laneith. One day you'll be able to tell them apart" "Perhaps" Lifting Laneith into her hold, Keith held his breath as he waited for the boy to cry. Giving it a few long moments, he released it in a long whoosh "I think we're good" "Why? What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong, they were just crying before" "Aw, how adorable" "Tell that to my head. I think I'm going to wait until this cools before waking Lance up. He'd probably forget it is hot and try to eat it right away" "What did he say about Honerva?" "Nothing really. He was more relieved that we didn't sneak into her base than anything" "Shiro, Lotor and I have been talking about that. I left the pair of them still discussing it. I think we've managed to go around in circles as you would say and the whole thing is very frustrating" "Is Lotor not cooperating?" "It's not that. We'll discuss it once Lance wakes up. We wouldn't want you being slapped again" "How did you know about that?" "I heard it as I left" "It was pretty impressive, though I can't say I didn't deserve it" "Maybe, but you were doing your duty as the Black Paladin" "I don't think we accomplished much" "We learnt we can't get in as the shield encompasses the whole moon base" "And that the amount of quintessence must be substantial if the goop was more interested in the base than us" "Indeed. Lotor is hesitant about contacting Honerva, but we've explained we have no other choices if we want to know what's happening" "What's he got to be hesitant about? She wants him to go to her" "I don't really know. Perhaps he fears he'll be killed" Keith bit down saying that might be for the best, instead he stared down at the porridge in front of him, with the feeling he wasn't going to like whatever Lotor proposed. Finishing his porridge, Keith looked at Lance, brushing his hair back from his face with a small smile. Lance looked so innocent when he slept... even if he snored almost inhumanly loud "Should we wake him?" "No, I'll carry him. Do you think Lotor and Shiro are still up on the bridge?" "Possibly" "Then we should head up, and so should Pidge and Matt. Whatever Lotor has planned, we all need to be part of the conversation" "And Lance?" "I'll wake him up when it's time. He wasn't feeling very well before, so he needs to rest" Sliding off his stool, Keith slipped his arm under Lance's legs and lifted him into his hold. His husband's eyes fluttered open for a moment, before giving him a small smile and burying his face against Keith's neck while his fingers curled around the alpha's jacket. Kissing Lance's soft chocolate locks, Keith then looked to Hunk and Allura, both smiling softly at the scene "Don't act like you haven't seen this a hundred times" "It's just sweet how much he loves and trusts you" "You do remember he slapped me right?" "Only because he loves you" He wasn't winning this one. So there was no point even trying. Carrying Lance up to the bridge behind Hunk and Allura, his mates rumbling snores announcer their arrival before Shiro or Lotor even noticed the door had opened "Is Lance asleep?" "Yes, and I'd like to keep it that way. What did you two decide?" "We would like to Lance with us" Keith blinked, hoping he'd misheard "What?" "We would like to take Lance to Honerva's base" "No. Come up with a new plan" "Keith, hear us out" "I'm not letting you two take Lance anywhere!" His angry tone and tightening of his hold caused Lance to whine against him "Keith, please. We have a plan" "To what? Let Lance die?" "Lance is not going to die" "Why him? And who's this we?" "Lotor and myself. Look, Honerva doesn't know I'm out of the rift..." "Oh come on. If she knows enough to send Lotor's clone after us, she has to know you're out of the rift too. You're not taking him anywhere" "This isn't about you. This is about Lance and this is his choice" "And we all know what he's going to say. So I'm saying no" "You're not even listening to us. We plan to take Lance because of his relationship with pure quintessence. Lotor is going to present us as if he'd captured us in order to get close to Honerva. Then use Lance to interrupt the flow of quintessence in the base" "Use! You plan to use my husband! He's not a pet or toy" "No, he's a Paladin. It's part of his duty to help stop Honerva" "Why can't we send Lotor in on his own?" "Because we don't know if Honerva will let him in if he is. That's why Lance and I will be his "prisoners"" "She already knows we're in an alliance, so that's not going to work" "It will if we appear to be unconscious" All of this was completely stupid "No" "Keith?" Lance's voice was soft and somewhat fearful as it drew his attention back down to his husband "It's alright Lance, just go back to sleep" "You're mad" "Lance, we want to send you on a mission. Will you be ok with that?" "What mission?" "Shiro, that's enough" Trying to struggle up in his lap, Keith held Lance tight "Keith? What's going on? Why didn't you wake me?" "Because you needed rest and Shiro's..." Shiro cut him off mid sentence "Lance, we want to head down to Honerva's base. Would you be up for coming with us? Your relationship with quintessence could be vital to the mission" "What? My relationship with quintessence? I don't even know how that's supposed to work. I don't even know what to do..." "Hopefully you won't need to do anything. We just need to get inside, so you and I would be posing as Lotor's prisoners" "I'm sorry, I'm not up for a mission right now. I can barely keep my eyes open" "We don't intend to leave immediately" Lance hummed as he nodded. His husband was actually considering it! "Lance, you can't. What if something goes wrong" "I'm the only one that doesn't seem affected by the quintessence..." "And what if the next time you're exposed, you are. No. I don't want you to go" "Keith, let him make his own decision" "Let me think about it... I'm too..." Letting out a cry, this time the interruption came from one of their pups, and Lance let out his own cry in response. Clearly still exhausted from the earlier performance "Perhaps we should let Keith and Lance take care of their children?" "We'll need an answer soon" "Fine. Whatever. I just can't deal with this right now" Climbing from Keith's lap, Lance swayed. He'd never gotten to eat, and despite Hunk holding both a pup and the porridge, Lance didn't seem to notice the food at all as he made his way over to lift the crying pup into his hold "Lance?" "I'm going to take him down to the nursery. Do whatever you want to do" Yawning halfway through made it hard for Keith to remain mad at him "Don't take his word for it. The pups cried for 11 vargas straight and he's only had about a vargas nap... Allura, I'll take Laneith back now" "Alright. If you need help, just call" Hunk insisted he took the porridge with him, which ended up mostly on Laneith before they made it back to the nursery. His son sticking his hand in the congealed goop, before wiping it across Keith's chest, much to Keith's delight. He should have just woken Lance up, made him eat and then carried him to bed. Now Lance was going to get all these stupid ideas in his head about Shiro and Lotor's plan. How could they think it would work?! Shiro wasn't stupid... and Lotor... had at least the IQ of a teaspoon. This wasn't happening.