#while writing a draft actually discussing their attraction

[hangsawoman]

in an earlier draft of hill house the attraction between theodora and eleanor was actually acknowledged and discussed …..

[thy-lovelylionheart]

Mike Wheeler: S4 Outfits & Identity Crisis Analysis

One of aspects of s4 I find the most interesting is Mike's costuming. We see him in 4 distinct outfits in this season (not counting the white t-shirt look since it's not a separate outfit), and they are all interesting in their own right. But ultimately, they all contrast each other and represent different aspects of Mike's internal conflict and identity crisis.

s4 is the season where Mike's internal conflict is externalized via his costume design. He’s trying to figure out who he is and – like for so many queer teens – it starts with his hair and his clothes. 

Shout-out to @glisten-inthedark because it was during a fantastic discussion that I drafted out a much shorter, much rougher version of this analysis!

*Disclaimer: While a lot of my analysis is formatted as statements – more out of habit from years of writing academic essays than anything – much of this is still speculation and subjective opinion. If you have a different perspective or disagree with my analysis, that's perfectly fine! This is just my interpretation.

1.

First up, my second favorite outfit: The Hellfire outfit.

If you put this Mike beside any of his s3 outfits, the difference is incredibly stark. s3 Mike has bright colors, neons spread throughout the palette, nearly all of them collared shirts. Yet the first outfit we see Mike wear in s3 is edgier: nearly all-black, featuring the word HELLFIRE loud and proud, the face of a tiefling or daemon, and weapons. This is also the first time we've seen Mike wear a graphic tee, which is more up Dustin's alley.

Not only this, but his hair is long enough to brush his shoulders, the longest we've ever seen it. Finn Wolfhard calls it "kind of the most metal Mike's hair has ever been."

So why is this so important? Let's talk about modeling for a second.

Dustin models himself after Steve in parts of s2. He listens to Steve's romantic advice and styles his hair like Steve's for the Snow Ball. For Dustin, Steve represents the masculine, heternormative ideal: the kind of guy who girls want to date, a "ladies man." When Dustin does find a girlfriend who loves him for him, he stops modeling after Steve in terms of outward appearance and returns to his own personal sense of style in s3. In fact, it's Dustin who ends up giving Steve romantic advice in s3, because their roles have flipped: Dustin is comfortable in who he is and his romantic prospects, whereas Steve is struggling. ("Instead of dating somebody because you think it's gonna make you cooler, why not date somebody you actually enjoy being around?"

Lucas wears a Karate Kid shirt in s3 bc Max thinks Ralph Macchio is attractive, so he wears clothes that reference him to appeal to her, his girlfriend, but he mixes it with his classic camo bandana because Lucas has a very strong sense of self that was only rocked in s4, when he tries to model after the basketball team, who are also representative of (1980's) socially acceptable masculinity and heteronormativity, for popularity's sake. But he ends up rejecting their blind conformity and regains his sense of self by the middle of the season.

And Mike…..models after Eddie. Eddie “forced conformity is what’s killin’ the kids” Munson. Not just in clothes, but in his more "metal" hairstyle. Eddie even makes a note about Mike’s wardrobe change during the cafeteria scene, saying he’s no longer wearing whatever his mom buys him at the GAP, which highlight this change for the audience.

This is significant because even though Dustin and Lucas are his fellow nerds, even though both Dustin and Lucas end up being chased down by Jason & Friends for their status as members of the Hellfire Club, even though they're labeled as outcasts and reject conformity in their own way –

– they still model themselves after classic heteronormative and socially acceptable representations of masculinity, while Mike is the only one who actively models himself after the school “freak" and vocal non-conformist.

Sure, Dustin wears the Hellfire shirt too, but Dustin is the graphic tee king of the show and he still wears an iconic baseball cap and overlays his graphic tee with a fun and funky button-up in s4. How he dresses in s4 is wholly consistent with his identity throughout the rest of the show. Whereas Mike's first outfit of the show contrasts heavily with all of his outfits from the previous seasons particularly s3.

And this is intentional. This is what Amy Parris, costume designer for Stranger Things says in this GQ interview about it:

Mike's Hellfire Outfit represents his growing internal resistance to and rejection of conformity and societal expectation.

2.

....which is exactly why the airport outfit gives the viewer such insane whiplash.

It is bright, gaudy, dorky, cartoonish and a completely different person than we were just shown. It's no version of Mike we've ever seen. Sure, we've seen him in shorts, and that surfer shirt is technically a button-up, but that hat? Those glasses? Flip-flops? It's so clearly an act that it's laughable.

Amy Parris, in the same GQ interview as before, goes as far to say, "We knew we'd wanted something that felt like an outfit maybe he would've bought at the airport before he got there."

This isn't Mike. This is Mike's attempt at conformity, post-meeting and modeling after Eddie. This is Mike feeling like who he is in Hawkins – the edgier Mike who models after the school "freak" – isn't the "right" version of himself to immediately present to El after months and months apart. Almost like he feels the need to wear something more similar to what he wore in s3, the shorts and the bright colors, to "ease into" the rest of his wardrobe, because when he's with El, he strives to present as "normal."

Finn Wolfhard says this about Mike in s4: "I think Mike's just trying to be as normal as possible and trying to keep on a normal path." Yet Mike says this in s4: "Have you ever considered that we don't want to be popular?"

If Mike isn't trying to be "normal" in Hawkins and is sitting at lunch with the school "freak," then in what ways he is trying to be "normal"? It's when he's with El in California, particularly their first day before everything goes to hell. Yet we see that "normal" = not himself.

Amy Parris notes in the GQ interview that they picked an orange (a rather yellow orange) button-up because it's the opposite of what Mike normally wears (blue tones).

The purple shirt is also an attempt for him to appeal toward El because purple, according to Mike, is one of her favorite colors. He is trying to appeal to El's taste/likes while wearing the literal opposite of what he normally does.

Mike's Airport Outfit represents his attempts to conform to heteronormativity and society's expectation of what a "good straight boyfriend" does, is, and looks like – and how unnatural and unlike himself this attempt is.

3.

This plaid look is my personal favorite Mike look in s5. This is one of the very few times we see Mike with an untucked shirt – possibly the first time we see him wearing a button-up/collared shirt and it's not tucked in. Untucked makes him look less preppy, taller, and more mature. It's a very flattering look and especially refreshing after the airport look.

But, I also have a lot to say about this symbolism of this particular outfit.

The rich blue is a standard Mike color, so it's the first outfit he wears in s4 that feels familiar to us. Additionally, the hint of yellow is commonly speckled throughout Mike's wardrobe. However, look at the pattern. It's plaid.

We all know by now that Mike is the king of stripes. Stripes and the color blue are the most consistent aspect of his wardrobe other than his calculator watch. But plaid?

There are only two instances in the entire show where Mike wears plaid. (I've triple-checked this, but if I still somehow overlooked anything, please let me know!) Here, in s4, and in his final scene in s1:

(top row is unedited, bottom row is brightened – no I couldn't get a flattering screenshot of the second image lol)

A blue plaid with (faint) yellow accents. Hm. How intriguingly familiar!

In s1, we see Mike experiencing conflicting emotions in his final scene. He is very happy that Will is back and that Will is having fun with his DND game. But he is also sad that Eleven is gone and experiencing survivor's guilt. His emotions are split between Will and El. This emotional turmoil is illustrated with the use of much busier pattern than Mike normally wears, but because that pattern is plaid, a pattern Will often wears, it aligns him with Will.

Why does plaid connect Mike to Will yet not El, even though El has worn plaid before? Because El has only worn plaid because of her circumstances, not her own personal style.

El first wears plaid when Hopper gives her his flannel in s1. This continues into s2 when she begins living with him. She's receiving either hand-me-downs from him or boy's clothes because he's having to hide the fact that he's sheltering a girl wanted by the government. If Hop were to start buying girl's clothing/more feminine clothing, that would be suspicious. When El goes on her shopping spree with Max in s3, after Max tells her to focus on what feels like her – "not Hopper, not Mike, you" – she picks bold, bright colors and abstract patterns, completely avoiding plaid. Then, in s4, El is living with the Byers and receiving their hand-me-downs and borrowing from their closets.

Amy Parris confirms this in the GQ interview, that what El wears in s2 is meant to feel mismatched, borrowed, and hand-me-down because she is trying to figure out who she is in Lenora.

She also says this:

It was intentional that when El wore plaid in s4, it was meant to remind the audience of Will and look as though she was wearing his clothes.

Which means Plaid = Will, not El.

So let's put this all together: Mike has worn plaid once before, when he was experiencing conflicting emotions torn between Will and El. Plaid is Will's pattern, not El's. Blue is Mike's color, and it's commonly known that yellow is Will's, which means that not only is Mike wearing Will's pattern, he's wearing a hint of Will's color. On a more minor note, the return of the black jeans and converse from his Hawkins/Hellfire outfit means that the facade had dropped and he's slipping back into what he's more comfortable in.

It's also notable that Mike wears a blue plaid shirt the very next day after Will wears a blue plaid shirt. (Also, Will's blue plaid shirt has more white, which suits his wardrobe more than black, whereas Mike's blue plaid shirt has more black, which suits Mike's.)

And this is the shirt Mike wears during his fight with Eleven, where she calls him out on never saying, "I love you," accuses him of thinking she's a monster, and he calls her ridiculous and tries to place the burden of their relationship issues on other people ("You can't let those mouthbreathers ruin you! Ruin us!")

Visually, the plaid tells us what's going on in Mike's head and heart.

Mike's Plaid Outfit represents his internal conflict between Will and El while simultaneously betraying where his true feelings lie: with Will.

4.

Last outfit! The outfit he spends nearly a full week wearing, the teal outfit.

Right off the bat, this color is one we've seen him wearing before in s3. However, as @hawkinsschoolcounselor points out in this brilliant post, the teal polo he wears in s3 looks nearly identical to one his father wears in the same season.

This has a few nuanced implications.

Firstly, in s3, it carries the visual implication that s3 Mike is currently on a path that could cause him to turn out like Ted. What does s3 Mike do? He neglects his friendships to spend time making out with his girlfriend, tries to reject his childhood hobbies and passions as childish (Ted disdainfully calls toys "hunks of plastic," in s2) and something he needs to grow out of, and, like Ted, makes a comment that could be interpreted as a homophobic slight – ("It's not my fault you don't like girls!" – a comment that I believe is a moment of projection for Mike due to internalized homophobia, not legitimate homophobia toward Will. In s3, Mike is trying to be "normal," "grown-up," socially acceptable and heteronormative.

Remember how I talked about modeling earlier? Yeah, s3 Mike models after Ted in mild aspects.

Yet the very next season, it's revealed that his rejection of his hobbies, passions, and games like DND was a complete farce. He returns to wholly embracing DND and, other than this teal color, stops dressing like Ted. He stops modeling after his father, much to Ted's disappointment: "Might as well call [Hellfire] the high school dropout club."

Secondly, because this teal color ties Mike to Ted, it's notable that this is the color that Mike wears when he tells Eleven he loves her.

(Now if you've read this far, my guess is you're a Byler fan and you've read 50 million analyses of the I love you speech, but if you haven't, the gist of the conclusion of those analyses is this: Mike felt pressured to say he loved El in order to save her and because he believed she commissioned the painting, but he tells provable lies during it that will be dismantled in s5.)

If teal is a color Mike wore during a season where he's modeling after Ted, a husband who the show makes very clear is lacking in passion to the point of his wife feeling unsatsified, a father emotionally distant from his two eldest children, and a man who is the epitome of heteronormativity and the typical mundane nuclear family man – this does not bode well for the success of Mike's romantic relationship with El, nor does it frame his romantic relationship with El in a healthy light.

Thirdly, there are several key differences between s4's teal shirt and s3's teal shirt.

Mike's s3 teal shirt is buttoned-up to the top button (in most of his scenes wearing this shirt) and is tucked into higher-waisted black shorts. It's solid-colored, neat, and preppy, and gives two hilariously contrasting impressions: the outfit of a little boy, and the outfit of a tween trying to dress like an adult.

In s4, however, Mike's outfit is partially unbuttoned, revealing a white tshirt beneath, with gives it a more sporty or even outdoorsy vibe. It's also not a solid color and has angular grey accents – particularly, triangular and diamond shaped accents.

This is what Amy Parris has to say about those grey accents, + what she says about how they purposefully added triangles to Robin's outfit as LGBTQ+ symbolism:

Because of this, it is not a stretch to speculate that the angular accents and, in particular, triangle design on Mike's breast pocket is a nod to his queercoding.

It's no coincidence that this is the shirt Mike wears during his bedroom talks with Will, the van scene with Will, his interrupted pizza parlor talk with El (that reads more like an impending apology and amicable breakup, not a confession – just mute the music look at his face during that scene, and El's), and his speech to El.

Most notably, it's the shirt he's wearing during this moment:

Look at Mike's face. Look at how conflicted he is. How guilty. This is the first time since Mike put on this teal shirt, the first time since he had his two separate bedroom talks with Will, the first time since "as a team," and "best friends," and the van scene & painting, that Mike has to deal with Will and Eleven at the same time.

Mike's Teal Outfit represents the tug-of-war between two contrasting concepts: his internal struggle with practicing comphet and heteronormativity (pursuing a romantic relationship with El and pretending to be straight), and his growing internal resistance to comphet/hetnorm and desire to embrace a truer, more alternative/noncomforming identity (his true romantic feelings for Will and accepting his queer identity).

Conclusion

I could honestly continue this post with analysis of the s5 outfits we've seen from Mike and what that means for his characterization/arc in the final season, but this post is long enough already. Perhaps when we get more content/trailers for s5, I might put out a speculative post in anticipation for it.

If you have a different perspective and want to share it, feel absolutely free! I'd love to hear other people's thoughts.

[leighsartworks216]

Fine Arts

Rafayel x gn!graphic designer!Reader

This is the last one!!! THank goD!!

Warnings: pre-relationship, banter, bickering, if this was a full series it would be enemies to lovers

Word Count: 925

Main Masterlist

First Love and Deepspace Masterlist

Second Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

This meeting, compared to the other clientele you've dealt with over your career, was going well. The manager was taking over discussions of appearance, providing wants and desires, styles and color palettes, while the real client was pouting and making snide remarks with very unhelpful feedback.

So, really well. At least the manager was actually listening to you.

"If you want the exhibition to feel high class, I'd recommend a script or serif font. Sans serifs can work sometimes, but they have different connotations." You write down a few notes to yourself in your sketchbook.

Rafayel scoffs. "Art shouldn't be limited to the elite. My works are for everyone to view, not just the people on top with the deepest pockets."

You offer him a placating smile. "I understand what you mean, Mr. Rafayel, but given the area the gallery is in and the fame of your works, it may be better to appeal to the elites that are more likely to come and spend their money." You tilt your head, adding, "Though, if you'd like to broaden your audience to appeal to the layman, I'd be happy to create a few versions from that angle."

Thomas sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose like he's had this conversation a thousand times before. Given his client, maybe he has. "It's a charity event, Rafayel. We want buyers who will spend a lot of money for your work to benefit the charity. Normal people aren't our audience here."

"The charity benefits 'normal people', doesn't it? Why are they suddenly being excluded out of this?"

"If someone is willing to spend more, more money can be donated to the charity. It's not that hard to understand!"

"But they should still feel welcome to visit the gallery, even if they don't have the funds to buy anything."

You clear your throat. The men look at you. Rafayel stares at you like he wants you to burst into flames. "Rafayel's name will draw enough attention from the art world to attract buyers willing to spend big money. If you want the event itself to be seen by normal people, design for the normal person. Besides, a normal person will be more interested in the design of the promotional material than an elite just buying the work for their wall."

Rafayel looks at Thomas. The manager taps his fingers impatiently on the table, before sighing. "Fine. Elegant, but welcoming. You can manage that, right?"

You smile thinly at him. "Of course."

He sighs again, nodding. He checks his watch. "This meeting's run over. Contact me when you have drafts drawn up. I'll send you the info," he rambles off as his chair scrapes against the floor and he stands. He leaves with little else to say aside from a brief 'have a nice day'.

You make a few more notes in your sketchbook, crossing out the older notes you don't need anymore. Rafayel sighs heavily from the end of the table.

"You got what you needed. Are you gonna leave now?"

"Mhm. I just wanted to know if I could see the centerpiece for the exhibit. It would give me a better idea for color schemes and layouts."

He raises an unimpressed eyebrow at you. "Thomas already went over all that with you. Why do you need to see it in person?"

You chuckle. "Forgive me, but I don't trust a business man to know what looks good with what. I'd rather trust the artist he's trying to promote."

He stares at you for a minute. His finger taps a rhythm against his arm, contemplating whether he should work with you or send you right out the door.

Eventually, he sighs. "Fine, but no peeking at anything else!"

"If I want to see the rest of your stuff, I'll go to the exhibit myself."

He leads you through his house where the meeting took place. It's one of the nicer places you've ever been in when working with a client. You've seen mansions and manors before, once or twice, but this felt nicer than those. Those were stuffy and dark, trying to impress a higher class of people. Compared to those, this was casual. The sea breeze coming in through the windows was refreshing, enticing you to run out onto the beach after this.

When you reach the entrance of his studio, he makes you cover your eyes. You relent, letting him lead you through the place until he stops you. The heat of his hand lingers on your arm.

"Okay, you can look now."

You drop your hands and blink away the darkness until your eyes can adjust. Three canvases are all lined up on separate easels, coming together to form one scene. It's ocean-themed, as most of his works seemed to be from your brief research, depicting the story of a mermaid stranded on a beach, being saved by a passing fisherman.

"Oh, so it's a triptych."

He blinks at you. "I'm surprised you know what that is.”

You give him an unimpressed look. "I do have a bachelor's in fine arts, you know."

"Why? You work with computers all day for your job, why do you need to know the traditional aspects of art?"

"Well, aside from having background knowledge for clients like you who do traditional artwork, I don't just work with computers for my art. A lot of my job entails sketching, a traditional medium. Just because I know how to transfer it to a digital format doesn't mean I'm exempt from learning about it."

---

Tag List:

@nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi @thejysemongko

[taylor-titmouse]

Shrinking Violet is out! another of @petitemortality R/L Monroe's wonderful erotic shorts, with another cover by yours truly >:) i've been saying it on nearly every promo post i make for this but if you're one of the people who has wanted me to write f/f, you're legally obligated to read this one. below is the sales copy, and then below that some discussion of the process for designing the cover!

Nobody at college knows that shy, nervous Maya had a 'bad boy' reputation in high school - and Maya is the only one who knows tough, rebellious Nasrin used to be a sweet-tempered teacher's pet. Mutual attraction is rekindled when their paths cross again, but the two find their old dynamics have been flipped on their head. Maya finally knows what she wants, and Nasrin is bold enough to give it to her...that is, if she can bring herself to ask. Will their first time be perfect the second time around? 7k words, EPUB and PDF format. This is the second in the Fuck Yourself Friday series of shorts. New stand-alone erotic stories are released on the last Friday of every month. FYF 1: Go Fuck Yourself These stories contain explicit sexual content, and are intended for 18+ audiences.

Contains: -F/tF -transfem sub -outdoor sex -praise kink -soft penis stimulation -non-penetrative sex

THUMBNAILS

this one was very straightforward with the request: "the image I have in my mind for a cover is someone's fingers knotted in a skirt spread out against wildflowers. but more in the sort of gripping your own skirt gently kind of way, somewhere between anxious and excited if that makes sense. I'm thinking like you know the classic soft grunge tumblr aesthetic photo vibe. type of shit you'd post next to a closeup of a skinned knee in long socks"

very easy instructions to follow! so while i usually prefer to do 3 thumbnails, i only ended up with 2. there's only so many ways you can depict a hand on a skirt, after all. and we decided that we wanted to continue with the style i established with the first one, with silhouettes, lineless art, and bold textures. we liked the first one more, but wanted to get some leg in there.

i proposed adding black pantyhose to the narrative to make it work on the cover (i have changed prose to match what i drew for illustrations Many times) but we went with bare leg in the end

FINISHING

so i didn't actually do a sketch for this one, just went straight to rendering. as we all know i use gradient maps a lot in my work, so i gave lee a choice between a bright, springy palette, and a wetter, darker palette. i also offered it with the border, or with the skirt going over it. personally i like the skirt going over it, but the border keeps it consistent and more book-cover-y, so we went with that. lee chose the darker palette, which suits the story much better

but the font didn't fit! too vintage for the story, which takes place in modern day.

fonts time :^)

we went with the third option for the contrast. and also added a raindrop to the flower (which got moved to the right petal in the final draft). gently touching petals, wetness, This Is Yuri.

and the final result is as above!

anyway you should all read this story, it's incredibly sweet childhood-best-friends-to-lovers and in itself a love letter to trans femininity. i highly recommend it, and it's only $3!

go and get it!

[ofmermaidstories]

Bad day for nosy people who need to know what old fandom is 👀👀

lmao, i’m trying to talk myself out of it so that i don’t turn my current WIP list upside down on itself but. 🥹 i fear it has very powerful claws. 🦞 i’ve been mulling over like, why it ([Old Fandom]) is so attractive to me right now and i think it’s a combination of a few things!! like, one is the fact that i never originally left it by choice—real life kinda forced me away from my hobbies, and by the time i could circle back again, the fandom had died (i find it really interesting that so many modern fandoms don’t have staying power, but that’s a different discussion) and i was interested in different things. but now it’s seeing a revival and i’m remembering how much i loved it and how i never really… got closure for it, LOL, as silly as that sounds. 🥹 i never finished any of my ideas. 🥺 i went back into my old account actually, like a couple of weeks ago, and went through my fic drafts i had at the time and it—idk. i guess it just made me nostalgic. 🥹 it’s different, tonally, to what we do here in the bnha/x reader niche!! and it makes me itchy. 🥹😩 god!! so itchy. i wanna dig my fingers into it and move things around. dig it up from the garden. perform necromancy on the lover that doesn’t even know they’re dead, and blinks and finds themselves sitting in the same old kitchen with a cup of coffee in their hand. 🥹🥹🥹 i’m better equipped now—i know how to keep myself interested in long-term projects, how to finish them and, most importantly, what i like.

there’s a lot of stuff i like to write that i just don’t, here in our niche. either because it doesn’t fit in with the bnha world or just doesn’t like… suit the x reader POV. and that’s on me LOL, a better (or maybe more determined) writer could make all those things work, but part of what i like about bnha and x reader and [old fandom] is that they’re distinct—they all feel different. i wrote a lot before i got here!! i wrote so much. i wrote so much that i like, kinda burnt myself out on it LMAOO. there were tropes i liked and settings and tricks i used all the time that after a while they got boring to me. 🥹 and now after a million years of doing something different, i’ve realised—oh. i really liked all that. 🥹 i really like it, still.

idk!! idk. part of not naming the fandom is also because i haven’t decided if i wanna jump back in or not lmao. do i do it, knowing it’ll slow everything up even more? we tell ourselves all the time here in fandom circles that it’s just fanfic/fanart! you’re here to have fun! if it gets hard or boring or you wanna try something new—drop it! do it! you don’t owe anybody anything!! which is all very true yes sure. except i, me, mermie, want to finish things. i want the satisfaction of finishing the IAL series. im actually very proud of the fics, and while i know i will finish shouto’s (barring being kidnapped by pirates or aliens or death himself ig 💀), i also know im a slow writer, and that letting myself deviate off path into a completely different fandom will make me slower. 🥹 so idk. i guess ive just been ruminating on fiddly details like that LOL. also i don’t have a solid plot in mind yet (even tho i have a general gist of what i want) so that’s also probably the main leash rn LMAOOO. tbh if i get one im going in swinging, fist first, so let’s all hope that i remain idealess on that front lest the demons take me. 🥹🙏🏽

[humorisstoredinthetits]

The Heathers + Veronica go on a Road Trip

Gee don't you just love when you write out a whole long ass post only for your computer to freeze and you lose all of your writing

So this will probably be worse than my original draft, but either way this is still going to be the longest thing I've ever posted to this site

But anyway, y'all really seemed to like the Comic Con one I wrote which why, that was one of the least inspired and generic ones that I did and I had no real ideas for the actual Comic Con part, but what I did have ideas for was the trip part, so I decided to expand upon it with this

Veronica, Duke and Mac are all stressed tf out

It's not that they don't love their jobs, they do, but it gets monotonous after a while

After a while of her gfs coming home downtrodden and low-energy, Chandler starts to notice

She realizes that she needs to do something about it, and eventually settles on organizing a get-away for the four of them

They talk it over and try to decide where they would want to go

They immediately rule out any high-paced vacations, like Disney World, as well as anything that would take them out of the country, as it would be too much work to get all of their passports in order and all of that

Eventually Mac brings up that her Dad has a beach house in California that they could ask to use for a week

They agree that it sounds like a good, relaxing time, and they start making preparations

The first thing they need to get settled is their pets

It starts off easy enough, Veronica's parents are more than happy to take JFK for the week

After a little bit of discussion, Martha, Betty and JD agree to take in Munchkin the Rabbit and Cornelius the Snake

Neither Martha nor Betty were too happy about the snake, but JD thinks they're neat and says that he'll keep it in his room so they don't have to be near it

The problem comes with Heather the cat

Heather is a very needy, loud, and aggressive cat, just like the person she's named after, and neither Veronica's parents nor her friends are willing to deal with it

JD especially did not want Heather in his home, the last time they had to take care of the cat she tried to eat his hamster, Slushie

So, they are forced to find a 'pet hotel' where they can drop her off

The hotel is none too happy to deal with this cat who will most definitely cause issues, so Chandler has to slide them some extra cash to get them to cooperate

After they get that settled, they start looking into flights

However, once they mention planes, Chandler goes oh hell no and adamantly refused to fly

The others try and fail to convince her to change her mind, but it is futile and an impasse is reached

Eventually Mac suggests that they drive, which none of the others are too keen on, but she adds that they could make a road trip out of it and visit different places

This grabs their attention, and they start figuring out all the different kinds of places they would want to go on their way

Veronica suggests different historical monuments like Mt. Rushmore

Mac would like to see some national parks and just be out in nature, seeing all the different kinds of wildlife

Plus after going to Disney World she really really wants to go to Disneyland, even if they only go for a day

Duke wants to see some weird roadside attractions

She saw a youtube video once about some of them and she wants to go see them in person, she just thinks they are just hilarious

Chandler doesn't really care what they do as long as her gfs are happy, she knows she is being an inconvenience with not wanting to fly, but she was terrified when they flew to Disney World and she just can't go through that again

They leave it to Veronica to plan a route, and here's what she came up with

From Sherwood they'll drive to St. Louis, visit the Gateway Arch, spend the night, then drive to

Kansas to see Wheat Jesus, before going to Nebraska and seeing the 15 ft. fork and pasta and Lighthouse in the Middle of the US, before spending the night in Omaha

From there, they'll drive to Carhenge, before heading to Mt. Rushmore and visit it and the surrounding area and stay the night

They'll then drive to the Wall Drug Store Inc., before they'll go to Yellowstone and camp there, before seeing the Car with 2 Front Ends

From there they'll drive down to the Grand Canyon and spend the night in the hotel (Chandler refused to sleep in the Desert)

'What if theres rattlesnakes? or Scorpions? or Coyotes?'

'I'll just become friends with them'

'Mac, honey, I love you, but I don't think scorpions are capable of the concept of friendship'

'You just haven't tried hard enough'

From there they'll go to the Hoover Dam, before getting to California and heading to San Diego Zoo, where they will spend the day

They'll drive overnight to Disneyland, where they will spend the day

After they'll head to the Redwood Forest National Park, before going to San Fransisco to go over the Golden Gate Bridge and visiting Alcatraz

After all of that they will finally get to the Beach House, where they decided to spend an additional week due to how long it would take to get there

(This path might be nonsensical, but its not meant to be sensical, this is a Tumblr post, not an actual trip)

With the plans changing drastically, they had to change their preparations

Veronica's parents and friends were more than ok with watching their pets for longer

JD was especially happy to hang out with Cornelius more, like he said he just thinks snakes are cool

But the pet hotel was really upset they had to watch Heather for longer

They almost canceled the reservation, but Chandler used her Heather TM powers and told the receptionist that they were going to keep the reservation and if Heather was injured, died, went missing, or anything preventable happened, she would make it her personal mission to make sure their business closed and that every single employee involved would never work at any business better than McDonalds for the rest of their sad, miserable lives

With the business thoroughly terrified, the reservation was secure

Next came the matter of work

Chandler was obviously a housewife, and so she didn't have to get off, she just asked Martha, Betty and JD to come clean, get the mail and most importantly maintain the lawn, and of course she would compensate them for their time

Veronica was self-employed, so she also didn't need to talk to her boss

'Ms. Sawyer please, I really need this break, I've been working so hard'

'No way Veronica, you are just so amazing and great, we cannot afford to lose you for a whole month'

'But I really need to go, who will make sure my gfs don't do something stupid'

'Veronica why are you talking to yourself'

Mac worked for her Dad, so she just had to ask him, which of course he agreed to

The problem came with Duke's job

Duke worked for a legal clinic that works to get abused children away from abusive households, and she was damn good at it

That was the main issue, she was just too valuable to be gone for a whole month

She begged and pleaded but they refused to give her the time off

After talking it over with her gfs, she decided to go with the tried and true Heather way and made a threat

She realized that if she was too valuable to let go on vacation, she was also too valuable to let quit, so she told her bosses that she would do whatever work she could while on the trip, but she was going on the trip, or she would quit

Thankfully for her they decided to give her the time off, but they would be sending her the paperwork while they covered her clients

That posed a problem, because they were planning on taking Duke's Jeep, and she refuses to let anyone else drive

But she also realizes that she can't drive, enjoy the trip, do her work and rest, so she had to cut one of them out

She goes 'I don't need sleep imma bad bitch' and decides to just work while the rest sleep

Upon telling her gfs this they gave her a look and told her that under no circumstances would she be allowed to forgo sleep for work and that if she tried, they would tie her to the bed

Duke said 'That's kinky' and Chandler gave her a bap on the head

**Line Break**

After much arguing she acquiesced and agreed that she would only drive for half of it and would do the work while the others drove

With all the bs settled, they moved on to preperation

They needed to get a few things, so they headed to Target

Chandler fucking loves Target, she is such a basic white bitch

They head into the store, grabbing a cart, and before anyone can say anything Mac grabs Duke and puts her in the kiddie seat

Duke starts screaming to let her out while Veronica dies laughing

After she calms down she runs to the Pokemon card section and comes back 5 minutes later with 5 different boxes and a handful of tins and blister packs

'You have a problem Veronica'

'Shut up Heather I don't have a problem you have a problem'

'We all have many problems, but yours is a whole addiction'

While her other gfs argue, Mac runs to the squishmallow section and grabs some before running back and putting them in the cart

Veronica starts arguing how Mac and her squishmallows aren't an addiction but her pokemon cards are, and Duke chimes in that she wants out of the cart

While they argue Chandler decides to just grab another cart and leave her immature girlfriends to be childish

She heads for the medical section, grabbing first aid kits, band aids, every single kind of general cream, pill or medicine that she could conceive of needing

She then heads for the camping section, getting a tent, sleeping bags, flashlights, rope, a knife, emergency flares, compasses, a dozen different other survival gadgets and about 20 cans of bug spray

It's around this time her gfs meet up with her and upon seeing all of the crap, they try to convince her that it's not needed

However, Chandler is a worrier and argues that its just in case

She does agree to put some of the bug spray back

They then head to get snacks

They get;

Chandler - Sun Chips (The Green ones), Nature Valley Bars (Also the Green Ones), Smartfood Popcorn, Red Vines, Strawberry Pop Tarts and who can forget Corn Nuts

After they finished at Target Chandler made them drive to Costco to get a industrial size box of Corn Nuts

Duke - Fruit Gushers, Barbecue Lays, Synder's Mini Pretzels, Nutter Butters, White Chocolate Kit-Kats, Fudge Stripes, Cosmic Brownies

Mac - Goldfish (The Rainbow Ones), Regular Lays, Golden Oreos, Trail Mix, Honey Buns, Cookies & Cream Pocky, Peanut M&Ms

Veronica - Salt and Vinegar Lays, Sour Patch Kids, Airheads X-treme, Sour Cream & Onion Pringles, Hot Cheetos, Scooby-Doo Gummies

She'll only eat the Scooby-Doo ones, one time they were out so Chandler had to get some other ones and Veronica refused to even touch them

She also just likes the weirdest food, it scares her gfs sometimes, like who actually likes Salt and Vinegar Chips

Once they're done with snacks they finish up by heading to the Swimming Aisle, Mac's Dad's house also has a pool

They decide to all get those obnoxiously large pool floats

Chandler gets one of those that have a cover on the top, Duke gets the Alligator, Mac googled and found a Lapras one online so she ordered it and Veronica gets the tank one that shoots water

Upon seeing that Duke reaches to the largest water gun she can from where she is still stuck in the cart, which causes Mac to also grab one

Chandler thinks its super childish but also, rather reluctantly, grabs one as well

They spend a few more days packing enough clothes for a month long vacation (They had a long talk with Chandler that they wouldn't be able to bring enough clothes to wear something different each day and when they were done she looked like she was having a Vietnam flashback)

Veronica finalizes their route while Chandler books all of the hotels they would need and gets their Disneyland tickets

** Line Break**

Finally, at long last, the day of the trip arrived

For once Veronica didn't have to get up at the crack of dawn to make her gfs drinks, they could barely sleep with how excited they were

And of course this is where they run into their first problem

They bought too much crap, so much that even Duke's jeep can't hold it all, so obviously they're gonna have to leave some stuff behind

First to go is the Industrial Sized Box of Corn Nuts

'Like seriously Heather you cannot possibly eat all of those Corn Nuts over the course of the trip'

'Watch me bitch'

They try to take the emergency stuff but Chandler puts her foot down, saying they're going to be driving through the wilderness, going to national parks, and staying at the beach house which is in a remote area, if they get stuck or something happens they probably won't have service to call for help

No one is willing to budge on anything else, so eventually they decide to just put some stuff in the backseat and whoever is there is just gonna have to deal with it

They leave and start heading to St. Louis

Duke drives, Chandler is riding shotgun, Veronica and Mac are in the back

After about an hour the novelty wears off, Chandler is being her usual backseat driver self, Mac is trying and failing to fall asleep and is getting agitated that Duke is driving so bumpy, and Veronica is playing Pokemon Violet on her Switch and getting her ass kicked by Iono over and over again so she's getting agitated

This makes Duke more and more angry until eventually she pulls into the parking lot of a Best Buy, storms into the store, and comes back with 4 pairs of noise-canceling headphones

She gives one to each of her gfs and tells them that they're gonna put these on and shut up before she turns around and that she is not dealing with this for the entire trip

That shuts them right up

No one talks until they stop at a McDonalds right outside St. Louis to get lunch, but even then their conversations are straightforward and short

They arrive at their hotel, put their stuff down (They had each packed a quick overnight bag with the things they would need like toothbrushes, change of clothes, meds, stuff like that), and Duke decides to apologize for how she acted earlier

Her gfs accepted her apology and admitted that they could have been more considerate of her

They came to the agreement that Chandler would keep her opinions about Duke's driving to herself, Mac and Veronica wouldn't outwardly express their frustration with things, and Duke would do the same with her frustrations about them

With that potentially trip-ending fight avoided, they head to the Gateway Arch

Chandler is bored bc ewwww learning and absolutely refuses to go up the elevator to the top, despite the pleading of her gfs

They go up and have a good time, looking over the city and into the Mississipi River below, while Chandler waits impatiently for them to get down so they can go to the hotel and relax

Eventually they come down and they head back, getting to bed early so they can leave early

Then they start heading to Kansas and Wheat Jesus

Chandler takes this part, Duke sits in the back with Veronica, Mac riding in the front

Nothing happens bc they're going through Kansas, the only thing there is a bunch of corn and weird ass religious signs

'Oh look guys this sign says we're going to hell for being gay'

'We know Heather, this is the 5th sign in the past half hour that's said that'

'Hell is gonna be fuckin lit, a bunch of lesbians with whips and chains and shit, its like a BDSM party that never ends'

'Shut up Veronica'

They eventually make a game out of it, which ever one of them can find the weirdest sign before they reach the hotel gets to be the one who can shower first

After sitting in the Jeep for hours upon end, they are kinda sweaty and are ready to shower, so it becomes a competition

Even Duke, who has her headphones in and is relentlessly typing away at her laptop, takes a break and participates

Obviously Chandler's ego will not let her lose, so she looks and looks until she sees one that says "You can't hold hands with God if you're 'mass debating'" (I'm not gonna use the actual word, but you get the idea of what it said)

They then reach Wheat Jesus, which is a billboard with a picture of Jesus in a field of wheat

Duke just thinks that its so stupid, even compared to the homophobic ones that they've passed

They take a quick picture and head back on the road

They head to Nebraska, which is more of the same

They eventually reach the Fork, which is another ridiculous thing that Duke finds stupidly funny

She manages to climb to the top while her gfs yell at her to get down, but she's able to get a good pic of her before a cop comes over and yells at them

After that they head to the lighthouse

Why is there a lighthouse in the middle of the Great Plains? Nobody knows

Chandler initially refuses to climb it bc 'it was so high up' but eventually she overcomes her fear

They get to the top, and are excited to see the view

They see grass, corn, wheat, and more weird ass billboards

They take a pic and agree that the Midwest fucking sucks

They head into Omaha, check into their hotel, and Chandler bolts to the shower, not forgetting that she won their little game earlier

They sleep and the next day they start towards South Dakota

Duke takes the wheel again, with Veronica finally getting to sit in the front

They head to Carhenge, which is just Stonehenge made out of cars

This time her gfs keep an eye on the gremlin so she won't climb things again

Chandler found all of these things kinda boring, but Duke is having fun exploring the attractions and buying a souvenir from each of them

Mac was also taking pictures of everything they've done, which she says she needs to make a scrapbook when they get back

Once they're done they start heading to Mt. Rushmore

Everyone is starting to get pretty bored

They've been driving for like 3 days now and they're running out of things to keep themselves entertained

And with boredom, there comes agitation, and they all too well remember what happened a few days ago when they all got pissed at each other

To lighten the mood they try to think of something fun they can do together

Duke suggests a movie but none of them can agree on which one, which only makes them angrier, same thing when she suggests putting on some music

Eventually Veronica googles 'things to do when you're bored' and comes across Prank Calls

They think its kinda childish but who are they kidding they aren't very mature people

After a bit of discussion they decide to call JD with the story being that Chandler is upset with her gfs and wants to elope with him

They know that he would never in a million years do that so that's why they agreed

They can barely contain their giggling while Chandler calls him

'Oh JD its horrible, my gfs are such immature children, I need a real man'

'Chandler'

'And look at you, such a strong man, I know you would treat me right'

'Heather are you drunk'

'Why don't we just run away, you and me, we'll move to Montana or some shit and have a big beautiful family'

' I would rather stick my dick into a slushie, impregnate it, and raise our hybrid slush-human children before I would ever consider having a family with you'

The rest can't handle it anymore and start bursting out laughing

JD realizes that this was a prank call and threatens to keep Cornelius forever

Duke shouts noooooooo and he hangs up

That keeps their spirits up until they reach Mt. Rushmore

**Line Break**

Once they get to Mt. Rushmore they check in to their room before heading to the monument itself

There's plenty to do, but first they all go to the mountain, take a few pictures, and just look at it

Before doing anything else they head to the gift shop where they pick up a few various things like magnets, a postcard, a bobblehead set for Veronica (She just thinks its funny) before Mac lays eyes on it

It's a 4 pack with a wig of each of the presidents along with a hat for Lincoln and glasses and a mustache for Roosevelt

She shows her gfs and says they have to get this and take a picture with them wearing these

For once Chandler doesn't have a stick in her ass and agrees to do it, but only if she gets to be Washington

Veronica is Lincoln bc she's the tallest

Mac is Roosevelt bc she loves animals and that leaves Duke as Jefferson, which she isn't thrilled about, saying that he sucks

She eventually sucks it up and puts on the wig

They stand in front of the mountain and get someone to take a picture of the 4 of them, standing in front of the corresponding president

Mac is really really excited about that picture, she says it's gonna look amazing in the scrapbook

They bring the wigs back to the room before heading to the Museum

Its actually a fairly interesting museum, going over the history of the architect, why the four presidents that were chosen were chosen, and even a bit about the Native American tribes that lived there

They take a Presidential Trail Loop, which isn't very long but gives them a good view of everything

Mac even gets some pictures of the wildlife which she is overjoyed about

As it gets dark they walk the The Avenue of Flags which Veronica is freaking out over

She's also a history buff so this whole experience has been just so fascinating for her

She is really into vexillology and loves identifying all the different flags and even discovering some she's never seen before

Finally, they go around the time of year they do the Evening Lighting Ceremony, where they light up the faces of the Presidents after watching a short film about the men whose faces were immortalized in stone on this mountain

Eventually they call it a night and head to the room

When they wake up and head out Veronica is actually kinda sad to leave

She is the one driving with Mac in the front and the other two in the back

But she quickly cheers up when they reach the Wall Drug Store Inc.

Its basically a Midwest Buccees

They have plenty of picture opportunities, including with a fake Mt. Rushmore that Mac puts right next to the big one in the scrapbook, and a Jurassic Park rip-off with a T-Rex Chasing them

They do a bit of shopping, Chandler even finding some boots that are up to her impossibly high standards for clothes

Then they go to the restaurant

They have Buffalo Burgers there

Both Chandler and Mac refuse to try, but Duke and Veronica say why the hell not and order them

They actually end up liking it a lot, its kinda earthy but also sweet, which is not what they were expecting from meat

They get some homemade donuts too, which are also amazing

From there they head to Yellowstone, where instead of spending the night in a hotel, they planned on camping

Before they got there, they stopped at a Walmart (there was no nearby Target, much to Chandler's horror) to get some hotdogs and buns to cook that night

Camping required moving everything out of the back to get to the tent, medical supplies, emergency supplies, and sleeping bags, moving it all back in, and bringing all of that with them to the designated camping spot

By the time they finish all of that they are sweaty and exhausted, expect for Mac who kept in good physical shape even after graduating and finishing cheerleading

They quickly get to work setting up the tent, only to realize that none of them know how to do this

They have the instructions, but something gets lost between Duke reading it out and the other 3 following what she's saying

It takes a good 2 hours before they have a tent that doesn't fall down after 5 seconds

Once they finally get that done with, they try to start a fire

Keyword Try

They try using the fire starter that Chandler bought, it doesn't work, they try using glass to redirect sunlight, doesn't work, they even try rubbing sticks together

They are all getting super frustrated and worse, they're starving

Duke gets the idea to do all three things at once to try and start the fire

Chandler says that that's stupid, if one didn't work why would all at the same time work

But while she's yapping Mac grabs the sticks and Veronica grabs the glass

Somehow it actually works and they manage to start a fire and Chandler is just done with everything and decides to go sit in the tent and cool off

Eventually she goes out to cook the hot dogs and despite the fact she's cooking them in the middle of the woods they actually turn out decent

Once they've eaten they decide to walk around and see the nature

Yellowstone is beautiful, they just walk around, not saying a word, enjoying the serenity of nature

Mac takes the occasional picture of waterfalls or the hot springs, but besides that the only sound heard is the crunch of leaves or rocks beneath their feet

Eventually they reach the hot springs

Duke leans over to feel the heat better

And she almost falls in

She is only saved at the last second by Mac grabbing her

After that they decide to go back to camp

On the way Mac keeps a look out for wildlife

She sees buffalo, coyotes, deer, mountain goats and even a marmot

It takes all of Mac's willpower not to run up and start hugging the marmot, she can't help it they're just big fat prairie dogs

When they get back to camp they see a bear foraging around in their food

Chandler screams at the sight of it which causes the bear to notice them and start growling and swiping its claws towards them

Everyone is freaking out, they're trying to figure out how to get to their bags bc maybe they could use the bug spray to spray in its eyes until it runs away or maybe use the flare or knife

Everyone is freaking out, expect for Mac

She walks straight up to the bear, slaps it, and says 'GO AWAY' in the loudest voice she can manage

The bear just looks ashamed and slowly trods away

Her gfs are just stunned and don't say a word

They get set up for the night, getting their sleeping bags out and getting marshmallows to make smores

As they are eating they start to notice something

There are a lot of bugs

Thankfully this is something they are actually prepared for as Chandler goes into the tent and hands each of her gfs a can of bug spray

Once they spray a bit and the bugs either leave or die it's actually kinda nice

As they are eating their smores Duke suggests they tell scary stories

She says that she'll start

The story she tells is so dark and gruesome that by the time she's finished both Chandler and Veronica are shaking and Mac is hugging Chandler tight and on the verge of tears

She pretty much killed the mood with that so they put out the fire and went to bed

When they get up in the morning none of them have gotten more than a hour's sleep each

They are all exhausted and their backs hurt and want nothing more than to sleep in a real bed

But they know they have to keep moving on if they wanna stay on schedule

They quickly pack up and head out of Yellowstone

Duke drives with Veronica in the front and Chandler and Mac in the back

**Line Break**

Chandler tells Veronica that if she ever suggests going camping again she will leave her stranded in the woods

Then Veronica says that if she ever suggests it to put her in a mental institution

They eventually reach the Car with Two Front Ends

Its another silly roadside attraction which is exactly like it sounds, a car with two front ends

They take some pictures before heading back to start the drive to the Grand Canyon

They are all exhausted, they've got no real sleep and have only eaten fast food

So they decide to alter their plans a little, instead of doing the Grand Canyon today they'll relax in the room before doing it tomorrow

To do this they would have to skip the Hoover Dam, which no one is sad about but Duke

'Heather why do you even want to go there, its just a dam?'

'I know why she wants to go'

'Shut up Veronica'

'She wants to make dam jokes'

'.... Like from the Percy Jackson books?'

'Yeah'

'I should've expected that'

They get to the resort at the Canyon and rush to take a shower and relax

Of course Chandler being the princess she is insists on going first

She takes so long that the other three get fed up, go in the shower and drag her out, before deciding to just say screw it and take one together so they don't have to wait any longer

When they get out they decide to just all get in bed and cuddle while watching TV

Before that they also decide to turn the AC down to the lowest setting it can go

They pass out pretty much immediately

When they get up they quickly load their things back into the car before heading to the Canyon itself

They visit the Visitor's Center, where they watch some introductory videos and look around the exhibits

They then go to the gift shop and pick up some souvenirs

Duke spots some cowboy hats and gets an idea

She runs up behind each of her gfs and places a hat in their color on each of their heads

Chandler thinks its stupid (big surprise there) but the others like it so they get the hats

She's thankful for the hats when they start going down the trail, because the sun is blazing down on them and it is really fucking hot

They're taking a trail down to the bottom where they are gonna go whitewater rafting in the Colorado River

The entire way down Chandler is petrified that she's gonna fall or they're gonna run into a rattlesnake or something

She's so happy when they reach the bottom that she could cry

After a quick tutorial the four of them get into their raft

You would think after years of being friends, then gfs, and being a part of a clique they would be able to work together on this simple task

You would be wrong

Chandler and Mac are sitting in the front and Duke and Veronica in the back

Chandler is barking orders to everyone while Duke is telling her that she's doing it wrong and so they all start yelling at each other

The instructor is paddling over to them trying to tell them what to do but none of them can hear her over their own shouting

Eventually their raft hits a rock and it flips over

Thankfully they are all strong swimmers and so are able to get to the shore quickly and without being injured

The water was actually pretty cold so none of them were too upset

They eventually made the way back up, stopping at several spots to get different views of everything

They then get back in the car, cranking up the AC before heading to San Diego

Mac drives here, Chandler in the front and the other two in the back

They're getting closer and closer to their destination, and with that they're getting more antsy

Even with the frequent stops they've been driving for days and they just want to be there already

Veronica spent like 2 hours trying to convince Chandler to try playing Pokemon with her and Mac, but she refuses bc she has a stick in her ass and hates fun

At least that's what Veronica claims is the problem

She tries appealing to her ego, saying that the whole point of the game is about becoming better than everyone else, but to no avail

The drive to San Diego feels like an eternity, but once they see the Pacific on the horizon they realize that it was all worth it

They reach the hotel and sleep, before waking up and heading to the zoo

Mac is like a very excited child, she's running around the place and just beaming

They paid for a VIP tour, so they had a personal guide taking them around the zoo

They even got to go up close and personal with some of the animals

They let them feed the giraffes, elephants, monkeys, capybaras, penguins and so much more

Most of the animals were really chill and even let Mac hug them, which just made her so happy

When the tour was over Mac said that they were coming back one day and doing this again and was crying happy tears

They stop at the gift shop and of course she picks up a bunch of plushes

They have no room in the Jeep but that hasn't stopped them from buying stuff before

From here they head to Disneyland

They stay at the Disneyland Hotel, which is so fucking cool

It's a hotel that has a bunch of Disney history, so they spend some time looking around that the exhibits

They even have this giant wall full of old Disney merch, which they take a minute to look around and find all of the cool stuff

They then head to Downtown Disney to do some shopping

They buy some of the usual stuff, pins, plushies, a few shirts and various knick knacks

Duke buys a few more lightsabers, justifying it by saying they were on sale

They have to pull Veronica out of the Lego store before she buys the UCS Millenium Falcon

They get to bed early, because in the morning they have to deal with Drill Srgt. McNamara

She wakes up before them and yells at them to hurry hurry hurry

She does not stop they are all ready and the second they are she grabs their hands and drags them to the park enterance

They have to get done with both Disneyland and California Adventure, and if they are gonna do everything they have to hurry

Since they are staying on-property, they are able to get in 30 min early, and Mac drags them to Tommorowland and is able to get everything done there

Everything goes fine until the Nemo Submarine ride, its dark and cramped and Chandler is not a fan of it

She screams like a little bitch whenever the angler fish jumpscares them

By the time the park opens fully they are in line for the Matterhorn

The Matterhorn is one of the most bumpy rides, and by the time they get off their backs are killing them

People start flooding in to the park and wait times are going up, so Mac drags them from one part of the part to another, doing whatever has the shortest line

They go from Small World to Smuggler's Run to Jungle Cruise to Rodger Rabbit to Haunted Mansion, you get the idea

By the time they stop for lunch everyone is exhausted, except for Mac, who seems annoyed they had to stop

They've gotten about 3/4ths of the park done, and they still have California Adventure to do

They try asking Mac is they can slow down but she just laughs and says that if they slow down they won't get everything done

Veronica tries telling her that they could always come back, its not like they couldn't afford it or that their work wouldn't let them but she doesn't wanna hear it

However she does agree that she'll take the next leg of driving so they can rest while they head to Redwood National Park

That sounds like a fair compromise to them so they keep heading out

They quickly wrap up Disneyland and head to California Adventure

There less rides there, so they can afford to go a little bit slower

** Line Break **

On the Little Mermaid Dark Ride, they had to cram themselves into a single clam which was super uncomfortable but it was worth it when they got to the 'Kiss the Girl' scene and they all kissed each other

They head to the Spider-man ride, which requires the rider to shoot webs by making the Spider-man web shooter gesture and moving it back and forth

Their hands were cramping so badly when they got off

Duke won and was gloating which obviously pissed off Chandler, which causes her to drag her to the Toy Story ride to get revenge

Chandler does end up winning that round, so she declares that they are even

Eventually they finish all the rides and decide to get dinner

They go to Flo's Cafe in Cars Land, where they see the best menu item ever

Its the Ka-Cheeseburger, like Lightning McQueen's catchphrase Ka-Chow

They all think that it is just the funniest thing ever, so they all get one, plus a Piston Cup cup

Once they finish their dinner (it was just alright) they head back to Disneyland to watch Fantasmic! and finish up shopping

They head to bed, pack up, and head on the road

Mac drives while the others sleep, exhausted by the previous day's events

She wakes them up once they reach the forest

The main reason they came was because they filmed Endor there in Return of the Jedi, so after walking around the trail for a few hours, admiring the giant trees, they find the exact spot they filmed some scenes in the movie and take pictures, using the lightsabers that Duke bought at Disneyland as props

After they finish up (and of course grabbing some souvenirs) they head back towards San Fransisco

They drive over the Golden Gate Bridge, which isn't anything special besides the fact that it is the Golden Gate Bridge

Compared to everything else they've seen and done over the trip a random Bridge is probably the least interesting

They then do the final thing of the road trip, which is going tour Alcatraz

They get on the ferry and start the tour

Its actually pretty interesting, even Chandler finds it entertaining

After the tour is over they have a little while to look around on their own

They go to some of the cells and start taking pictures

They pass by a random cell and Duke decides to play a prank

She nudges Chandler and says that she saw something weird in that cell over there

Chandler goes to take a look and Duke closes the door behind her

Upon realizing that she was trapped she starts screaming at Duke to let her out while Duke just laughs her ass off

'You've been a bad bad girl Heather, and now its time for your punishment'

'DUKE THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR SEXY TIMES LET ME OUT'

'Only if you say the magic wordddd'

'Please?'

'Noooo, you know what it is'

'I'm not saying that'

'Say it or you're staying in there'

'....Duke is the most goregous, most sexy, smartest, prettiest Heather there is'

'And?'

'and she is much better than me at Toy Story Mania'

After that incident they take the ferry back and start the final leg to the journey, to the beach house

They actually have to circle back towards Los Angeles as the beach house is farther south, but eventually they arrive at the house

Its rather isolated, the nearest house is a few miles away

It's on the seafront, with a spacious beach area in the front of it

It's a two-story modern-styled house, complete with a pool, game room, and movie room with a 98in TV

They quickly unloaded everything, before driving out to Target to grab food to make for the next two weeks, before

Their first day at the house they spend in bed

The past week of constant travel and doing things has exhausted them beyond belief, more than they ever thought possible

Chandler doesn't even feel like cooking, they just DoorDash Chinese food

Once they've rested and can feel their feet again, they start doing things

Their days go generally like this;

They sleep in until around 9ish

While her gfs shower, Veronica makes their coffee/tea, and after they are done Veronica takes her shower

They put on their bikinis and head down to the beach

Chandler generally doesn't go in the water, she spends most of her time catching up on some reading and sunbathing

Duke and Veronica picked up some Boogie Boards when they went to Target, and take some time trying to surf

Trying is the key word there, they aren't very good at it, but they have fun with it

Mac alternates between swimming and building sand castles

She spent a lot of the ride watching Youtube videos on people building them, and she was inspired

She also collects sea shells to put in her scrapbook

Around lunch time they'll go back inside while Chandler cooks

She's been trying some new recipes and while they aren't all hitters, she's having fun trying new things out

After that they'll take a nap before doing something in the afternoon

Sometimes they'll take a dip in the pool, which has a slide

Duke will wait at the top of the slide until someone on the float passes by, and then she'll quickly slide down and land on top of them

Other times they'll get out the water guns and start shooting each other

If they don't go to the pool they might head to the game room

They have a bunch of board games

They play some Trivial Pursuit, which Veronica wins handily, or Monopoly, which they end up having to abandon because Chandler and Duke are getting competitive again

They also have some video games

As soon as she sees Mario Party Veronica grabs it and hides it somewhere upstairs

They are not having a repeat of the Mario Party Incident

They play Jackbox Party, which causes Duke to laugh so hard that her sides start to cramp

If not games, then they go to the movie room and watch some movies

Mac's dad has both a large collection of DVDs and a bunch of streaming services, so they have essentially unlimited options

There's a pull-out couch that they use to lay down on, and they cuddle while watching things

At night they'll get some wine and go sit on the beach, just watching the sunset and enjoying each other's company , before calling it a night

They stay this way for two weeks, just relaxing without a care in the world, until the day comes that they need to pack up and go

It takes forever to get everything to fit, bc they bought just so much crap

They manage to get it all to fit, but whoever is in the backseat is gonna need to sit on someone else's lap

Its illegal but who cares

As they're finishing up Mac says that she's gonna go take a quick walk on the beach

She comes back 5 min later upset, saying that she dropped one of her earrings

Her gfs rush to come help her

Mac suggests that they dig through the sand to try and find it

While they are digging Duke finds something

Its not Mac's earring, its a small chest

Confused, she opens it, only to see 4 smaller boxes, one red, one yellow, one green and one blue

The three of them look at Mac, who is struggling not to smile, as she hands Chandler the red box, Veronica the blue box, and Duke the green box, before grabbing the yellow box herself

She tells them about how her life has been changed because of them, and how its improved in every conceivable way

She further says that without them, she doesn't know where or even who she would be, and that she wouldn't want to be anyone else than who she is right now, and that she has them to thank for it

She then says that she cannot see a life without them, and that she doesn't even want to imagine it and thats why she wants to make it permanent

** Line Break**

After she says this she gets down on her knee and tells them to open their boxes, revealing a ring in each one

Each ring is ornate, containing Heather flowers and roses with a diamond at the center, obviously in each of their respective colors

She then asks the question;

"Will you marry me?"

They're all crying, and they all pull each other into a group hug before saying that they will

So they leave the beach house, a ring on each of their fingers

They get home, and Mac gets started on the scrapbook of their trip

She works day and night in-between work and spending time with her fiancees

Eventually she gets to the last page, with a picture of the four of them on the beach, and another picture of their rings

She writes the word 'girlfriends' next to it, before grabbing a red sharpie, x-ing it out, and writing another word before circling it in green

The word is Wives

The final word count of this is somewhere around 25k words, so jesus christ I wrote a lot

If you read all of this you are awesome and I hope you enjoyed this

[thornofthelily]

@pinksparkl tagged me in this, what, like a week ago? But I wasn't able to sit down to organize my thoughts because I've been busy with life lol

So here it goes! My 5 + 1 headcanons! 5 Redactedverse headcanons I hold and 1 I'm still working on!

(Sorry if these are supposed to be like, fics, because I don't really have many posted fics or wips right now lmao)

1. Will is basically our silly old grandpa vampire now, but he carefully cultivated that reputation after centuries of brutality. There's a reason the gentle-voiced, teasing, Bob Ross-loving vampire survived to become an old blood king, and it wasn't always through kindness. There's a reason he wants to be a good maker, and also, why he's reluctant to turn people (and no, it's not Alexis's fault for being a "hellion")

2. Lovely was in college when they met Vincent. They had moved to Dahlia for regular human school, and it was the first time they'd been away from home. They were trying to balance school and work and maintain their friendships from back home, but it wasn't going well. They were feeling pretty lonely and not adjusting to life in Dahlia well, and that's why they went to Wonderworld for the first time. They thought it would be a good story for their friends at home, or impress someone from their classes there. They felt like they had something to prove. (When their core was awoken and they switched to DAMN, they finally started making friends and fitting in in a way they never felt like they had among humans. They still had some human friends but DAMN was the first place they felt like they belonged.)

3. Not an original but a goodie I think, but I am ten thousand percent in camp "Angel and Guy are siblings." And honestly, I've come to accept "Angel" as being their actual name. Like, their real names from birth are Guy, and Angel. Their parents liked those oddly specific, literal names. Their boy child is a Guy, their sweet (as a baby) child is an Angel.

4. "Dear" (Lasko's listener) first really fell for him during the Inversion. They were stuck outside with everyone else, and though they didn't have anyone they were especially close to inside, they were still scared sick for their coworkers and students. They had always been passively aware of and attracted to Lasko, and normally they'd never risk the discomfort of flirting with or asking out a coworker, but after Inversion, they had so much respect and admiration for him for how he stood up and got people organized and inspired them and everyone else to rush in to take down shades and find survivors, they finally decided to be brave and ask him out, long after the dust finally settled.

5. Asher is actually incredible well-read and loves literature. Before becoming the goofy gamer loud mouth can't cook beta we all know and love, his mom being a writer meant he grew up surrounded by books all the time. He gained most of his emotional intelligence through reading, and if things ever got tense in the pack, he tended to retreat to a book, read the whole thing in one night, and come back rejuvenated and refreshed and ready to help resolve whatever issues people had the day before.

And for the one I'm still working on...

With all the discussion going around, it made me want to revamp my race/ethnicity headcanons. Full disclosure, I know I'm not the best at writing diversely, it's an issue I'm aware of and I am trying to work on. It requires a few drafts of my ocs to get past the same pale template I default to. So, in examining my hcs for the various speaker and listener characters, while I already had a few, I was looking for other characters I could spice up past the same template, and I am working on the idea of having a Philippino Guy (and by extension, Angel). I haven't done much to expand this idea or flesh it out with any greater detail, but it fits pretty well in my head so far!

[kay-elle-cee]

Hi wow hello omg!! Thank you so much for agreeing to do this Ask the Author with me (': I just have a few questions about your first ever smutty fic, Things That Haven't Happened Yet...

What is your personal favorite (real) sex scene in the fic?

Which smut scene do you think is the most well written?

Which smut scene did you write first?

Do you plan to write more smut?

What's your favorite overall scene in the fic?

Whose POV was harder to write?

Knowing the other dreams James and Lily had but you perhaps didn't get to write about, who do you think has a naughtier mind between the two of them?

[SPOILER ALERT] Did they actually eat lunch? James surely needed some carbs by that point but there were other things to finish when the story ended. 👀

my article will be published in vanity fair next week, thx again for interviewing w me <3

Omg Charles 🙈 Thank you so much for all these questions, I'm so so so happy you loved TTHHY and am HAPPY to answer these questions!

Under the cut for spoilers and NSFW discussion!

1. What is your personal favorite (real) sex scene in the fic?

Ah this is so hard, because honestly I think it’s a tied between the first two. Because the first one is just the raw kind of heat and frustrated passion, but the second one is a little of that with the introduction of “oh wait actually maybe that’s not all it is”. If I HAD to choose, I guess I’ll say the second. Would love to hear other people’s opinions!

2. Which smut scene do you think is the most well written?

Okay I had to go back and reread them all and maybe it’s a bit of a cop out but I love the shower scene. It’s less detailed than the others but it’s very clear in my head and I liked the transition between the sex and the more intimate moments.

3. Which smut scene did you write first?

I mostly went in order for this fic! So that first time in the Order library was the first! (The only scene I remember writing out of order was that final scene outside of cottage—I've had that written since before chapter 3 was posted!)

4. Do you plan to write more smut?

I do! It won't be in everything I write, but I do have some other concepts/fics in my drafts. I unexpectedly had a ball with this and it's kind of hard to stop lol.

5. What's your favorite overall scene in the fic?

Shower scene. Hands down now and forever the shower scene. The idea that that's kind of like the shift in everything, and them finishing but just....staying there, connected, kissing (and through those kisses, at least on James' part, communicating things he's too scared to say). And then the follow up and the intimacy of just like, being together and showering together and those kind of gentle, not necessarily sexual touches. UGH. I'm sorry this is the scene I'm most insane over.

6. Whose POV was harder to write?

Weirdly, Lily's? I feel like I've been SO in her head lately for some other projects, it was just nice to be in James' head. And James is very straightforward, I think, with what he feels in this fic, whereas Lily has to come to terms with it. (Not that I don't LOVE writing that, but I think just wanting to make sure I wrote that believably contributed to a little more friction while writing Lily).

7. Knowing the other dreams James and Lily had but you perhaps didn't get to write about, who do you think has a naughtier mind between the two of them?

Okay so. I think for Lily for so long this has just (in her conscious mind) been about physical attraction. Her garden dream is the most...I'll say out there of the fantasies—all of James' were private moments (even the drunken alleyway snog), but Lily's garden moment was I think the riskiest we saw (OUT in the OPEN). So WITH all that preamble, I think Lily's dreams were a little more out there and riskier (against a window, chances of being caught, etc) BUT I think she's a bit better at controlling herself once they're together, and it's James that can't keep his hands off her and possibly instigates more of those scenarios.

8. [SPOILER ALERT] Did they actually eat lunch? James surely needed some carbs by that point but there were other things to finish when the story ended. 👀

Listen, maybe it's because I'm old (compared to them) but I do think they ate lunch. I think it was a very quick lunch and Lily was adorably a little nervous having him in her little flat, but James was just kind of in awe of this place he'd only seen like once irl and then reoccurring in her dreams of them. When they were done with lunch (or ate what they both deemed was 'enough for now'), she showed him her appreciation for the garden. They did not make it to her bedroom.

Thank you SO much for these questions, Charles! They were so fun to answer and I'm always happy to scream about my fics into the void. 🥰

[chronoxtreme]

The Cage - Chapter 18 Author's Notes

First of all, here's a link to the chapter in question! CW: Discussions of a relationship with power imbalance, discrimination based on sexual anatomy So, fun fact - everything with Yurgir was not in the original, second or even 4th draft of this fic (and when I mean draft, I basically mean "attempt to think this monster's details out," not an actual draft). Chapters 17 and 18 were supposed to be one chapter, but migraine + insane wordcount + me getting a new position at work basically nuked that idea. So I split it in two, and honestly, I believe it's for the better in terms of pacing.

Nanne's whole "I don't like to use charm-like magic" comes from seeing Da use it on other people. Friends was that guy's favorite cantrip, and while it can get you what you want, it can also burn you. Nanne's much less risk adverse than Da, so they avoid it. Enhance Ability though is fair game because it just makes you better at certain things.

The "homicidal hat trick" line by Gale is a shout-out to Mistborn, one of my favorite book trilogies.

And then we get to the second "twist" of Nanne's backstory: Maria. This is a part that wasn't in my first stab at writing Nanne. Originally, they had no experience with sex or romance at all. However, I realized that them having some romantic history gave them a lot better motivation for their behavior around Astarion pre-seduction. At the same time (and this was unintentional) their experience with Maria became a foil for Astarion's sexual encounters with patriars.

I also put a lot of myself into that story. I'm transmasc nonbinary, and when I wrote that scene, I wasn't out to anyone, including my husband. Thankfully, he's been extremely supportive of me and my identity, but it took a lot of courage to talk about it with him. It's extremely difficult to come out to people who have a certain expectation of who you are. Writing about Maria's rejection was a weird sort of catharsis.

It was also a story where I wanted it to be messy, especially from Nanne's POV and how they describe it. Nanne had zero intentions of having a relationship with their employer, it kind of just... happened. And while it was doomed to failure from the start, Maria was attracted to them. There was a "chance" of it working out. That's what makes it really sting, in my mind. It was problematic at best, coercive at worst, and Nanne wasn't in the wrong - but for so long, they've lived with an emotionally immature parent constantly talking about how difficult it was to raise them, the sacrifices, the burdens, etc. and that gets to you. So naturally, if something goes wrong, it is their fault. Finally, the song! This section ended up being a lot shorter than I expected it to be, but honestly, that's another thing that I've been working on in the "this is for me first" category: not being afraid to release chapters with wildly differing lengths. Yes, it will happen again, that is a promise lmao.

Like the Dawn is one of my favorite songs on the planet, and when I listened to it after playing BG3, I realized that it perfectly described Nanne's thoughts about Astarion in the sunlight, and the rest was history. This is a moment that I could rewrite a thousand different ways and still never be satisfied because how in the world do you write about a person SINGING without it coming off awkward as hell? In the end, I think it worked out okay. I'm not satisfied, but I'm content.

Nanne's using Faerie Fire here, because if bards can use singing to do magic, why not do magic to enhance the singing performance? I've always loved fic/media that's used the world's magic system for stuff like special effects in performances and plays - it makes the world feel alive and Nanne is a bard first and foremost. The bigger the spectacle, the more coin they get. Is there a bit of illusion magic thrown in? Maybe. Hey those Weave lessons with Gale paid off!

Astarion running off was also not in the script but it turned out that way. I don't think it's a bad thing for him to keep feeling guilt. I do worry that it comes off as repetitive and cyclical, but in my experience that's how guilt works in real life. You feel good, you forget about it, and then someone says or does something, and it all comes crashing down. It's tough... and next chapter's gonna be even worse lmao.

[faetorvic]

Temporary semi-hiatus on all my blogs due to my life being a mess!

bg-3 exclusive rp blog for Torvic, originally from D.octor Who but recreated for this universe! Mutuals only, for rpers over 21yo, will only be written as a bg-3 character. loved by Ele (mid-30s, gmt+1)

An important disclaimer: Torvic is an assh*le but I don't expect your muse to submit, and I'll do my best to give them a reason to stay, whether because Torvic can be held back by me or doesn't actually want to push them away, or due to external reasons. Your muse is allowed to hurt her or be mad (just don't kill her!). I'm also an anxious chicken who worries about offending people and fangirls about muses becoming friends or lovers or family. Plus, we can plot/expect relationship development as we go.

That said, Torvic is your typical 'villain muzzled by magic' and has a lot of toxic mentality to unlearn. If you'd rather interact with nicer muses, you can find my 'Lex' (Tav) at my multi @savingthrcw, awkward mess that she is, or my already good bard @lcdybonbon.

Links: about page, memes, starter calls, meme calls, plotting calls, open starters, shipping call

Rules:

this Torvic is for muses from bg3 or with a bg3 verse only (which is why I don't need to list type of characters that make me uncomfortable/triggered/uninterested: deities and vamps of this game are fine, the only thing is that I don't want to write Torvic being attracted against her will so as far as your muse having such powers goes, she's immune). Torvic has her 'alien' canon-ish verse in my multi. Tavs and ocs are very welcomed, but no durges yet because I want to play them first. Don't be offended if I don't follow you, it could be plenty reasons: not cutting your posts, something about your blog triggering me, etc.

Torvic is pan and can act sultry/flirty with nearly everyone, BUT I fade to black unless I tell you otherwise (I'm repulsed) & it doesn't necessarily mean she's into the other person. I love ships but never force or expect romance. That said, I won't ship with Halsin and Jaheira.

If we do write smut it will be tagged 'nsft' and under read more. Torvic will not be submissive (while violence is fine), so don't assume the former if we faded. Due to dysphoria I am unlikely to write f/f smut, and if I'm writing f/m I will keep it kinda vague. If s.ex is a topic of discussion between muses I'll tag it nsft-ish.

If Torvic's flirting bothers you (or anything else!), you can say it ic or ooc and she'll magically stop. Your comfort comes before this game (unless you tell me ooc that you want her to continue). Even though she's starting as a villain, I will write her as wanting consensual s.ex while all other kinds of violence are fun to her.

if you don't see me online for a while and there is no psa, I probably have no drafts and don't want to stress anyone out! (And I'm picky so there aren't usually many mutuals for me)

I will be super happy to have a thousand threads with each person! You can send a BUNCH of memes and continue all (or drop them!), reply to opens etc, no need to plot but I'll also be happy to chat about muses and fangirl over our threads: my health is a mess, but the enthusiasm is there! I'd suggest multiple short-lived threads/asks in which our muses are still in a 'getting to know each other/butting heads' phase before we get to the fun of 'today our relationship gets a bit deeper'!

I'll do my best to tag commonly triggering topics unless they are just mentioned in passing, but here you'll find the usual bg-3 stuff: abuse, cults, everything that happens to the other characters, slavery and in-game blasphemy. I ask you to PLEASE tag your n.sft stuff (and that means your wishlist or headcanon posts, if your rules say you tag it and then I open my dash and it's RIGHT THERE because it's not from a thread, I'll unfollow), d.addy k.ink, and images of real life horror/gore. I will not be roleplaying r.ape but it can be mentioned in backstories (her time as a forced Bhaalist was dark but I won't focus on the s.exual side of it, she'll just mention the 'general torture' her parents put her through, either bitter or justifying it/joking).

hello, I'm Ele, I have pt.sd and physical problems, and I'll stay in my comfort zone when writing, which means vanilla angst. NEVER DEATH of characters and possibly always happy endings. I will NOT judge you for what you write (though I might not follow you because it's not my cup of tea). You do your thing, and I'll do mine! I'm also Italian so my English might be meh at times!

[kudostasolutionsllp]

How to Mount the Volume of Your Blog Content Faster yet Sustaining Quality

Your blog (i.e., knowledge segment) is one of the most opulent ways to attract massive visitors and convert prospects to your customers.

If you have just sprung the journey of growing your blog, it's so embittering to kill several hours on an individual blog post while your competitors are able to publish a new post every single day.

It's not just about the usual blog posts, but they concede a free e-book to their subscribers, showcasing their best work through case studies and conducting interviews with industry peers.

They really seem like working strategically on strengthening their brand's voice and creating compelling and memorable stories throughout their blog segment, portfolio, and social media.

Do you really wish to replicate their editorial calendar?

Do you want to hit several compelling posts each week?

How can you manage a fat amount of content to be composed every month?

Are you looking for ways to complete your blog writing tasks faster?

If you intend to write more productively and create diverse content, then read on.

P.S. More is not always great. Persuasion induces a win-win situation for you. The publishing frequency may vary depending upon your business size, industry, and sales postulates.

Research More

A conventional way to kick start your content development process is by conducting research.

You must be ingenious with the research process. You should know:

How to apply Google alerts

already following top industry leaders and researchers on Twitter

Comfortable with using tools like BuzzSumo, SEM Rush, UberSuggest, and others.

Research should be a fun part; because you'll probably be spending lots of hours accessing some of the top industry blogs, analyzing their content library architecture, noticing their publishing frequency, accessing their mostly used content-formats, and their word-count.

It's a "Before" step of the writing, so designate a different time-frame for this. Keep it separate from the actual writing.

Most Pro Bloggers don't do both of the stuff at the same time.

They spend some time researching competitors' content, noting down key-points, make use of the right set of tools, and come up with great writing topics.

The goal is to locate the best possible LSI keywords list, the most popular content optimized for those search terms - ideal pages having high statistics of backlinks + social shares. So that you can get in-line with the most handsome content post that addresses all of the wants, needs, and pain points of your intended audience.

SEO Optimization would be the latchkey here because you want to be visible above your competitors. So you must utilize useful tools and applications like Topic to help you come through a study of currently ranked web pages' content structure and writing up content briefs more sharply.

Start Writing, Edit Later

Follow the intent of your targeted audience based on the search term. Accordingly, proceed with the right content format - A How-to guide, a list sort of post, or even a TO-DO checklist.

Craft the outline and prepare the points list around it. No need to use fancy words to be clever with word choices. You should try to build a personal touch with the readers, so write as you talk. You're writing your first draft, so who are you talking to should be a central approach of the writing, not search bots, no SEO optimization, nothing.

At this initial stage, where you're crafting the first draft, you strive to come up with an engaging piece that addresses your reader's specific problem, and you're offering a solution. Include reference points and examples as much as possible.

Don't practice like a rookie writer - Don't stop writing after every paragraph to go back to see if you wrote it right. You can proofread and edit the entire post after finishing it.

Get Familiar with Content Repackaging

Let's discuss a move to make content production even more simple:

You already have a load of content in your blog library. It's your turn to settling down with a modified gyration on it, playing with its format, adding new graphics, or altering existing information to bring a fresh value to the index.

If done right, it can be the best weapon in your blogging arsenal.

Your competition is apparently using the same tactic to manage so much content volume without having other writers working for them.

Here's how you can apply content repackaging:

Curating best available posts into an ebook. You can offer the free link to visitors when they subscribe or socially follow you.

Creating a webinar with the information you have written.

Creating newsletters and email courses.

Turn YouTube videos into blog posts and vice-versa.

Design infographics from the information shown in blog posts.

Slideshare presentations.

Take the investigation further to come up with a lengthy post based on the small data mentioned in the earlier posts.

Welcome Guest Authors

Haven't you allowed guest authors ever?

Though your blog section is mostly an outlet of your own work (the editorial front) where you guide readers about your area of specialization, as you grow, you want to give a new experience to your readers.

You also wish to expand the type of content to let your readers explore the new angles on the same topic, voices from your industry peers matter.

You might invite someone who has a track record of great writing in the same industry and can offer a fresh perspective on specific subjects.

This could expose your website and services to a wider audience. And your content machine stretches to evolve.

Adopt Prolific Visual Marketing

Are you creative with design and familiar with applications like Canva, Visually, and Snagit?

If you said a YES, then transform your industry expertise and various current statistics into an engaging visual media (they say it infographics) that's a more epic, memorable, easy-to-digest format, and shareable.

A mix-and-match of Audio and Video Interviews, QAs, and Podcasts

You already have great networking with the industry's top-notch professionals. Fine, let's nurture this relationship.

Identify the right candidate for the interview (face-to-face, email, phone call, or via audio or video-conferencing) or a QA round. Request them for their participation and schedule the date and time.

Once you get a high-credibility within the industry, top-level guys will probably agree to go with you in exchange for the link love, social reach, or greater exposure.

Curating the Best Content Out There

Rather than just retweeting others' content, curation allows you to share a bit of information (sourced by others) you think your readers will acknowledge.

Using this, you can add value to your audience's knowledge, build your network with like-minded people, and actually fill the gaps in your content calendar.

And don't forget to add your personal opinion on the reshared resource. Your audience wants to know your take, so this can be your go-to-strategy with a nicely framed design presentation.

Over to You -

Content development and scaling are always the most time-consuming and stressful side of marketing tactics.

And you always need to develop your own game plan to go over them.

You stay on the top by looking aptly at every single opportunity of sourcing the news, streaming at live trends, and utilizing every single tool that simplifies your work.

[windwheeler-aster]

your secret admirer 

summary: you’ve been on the receiving end of many anonymous love letters for a while now. they’re very sweet, of course, and make you quite confident after reading them. but there’s something on your mind each time you read or reread these love letters. who exactly is writing them to you?

masterlist

pairings (separate): ningguang, keqing, zhongli, beidou, xinyan, yanfei, hu tao, ganyu, shenhe, yun jin, xiao, and baizhu x reader

reader info: gender neutral pronouns (they/them), reader’s relationship with characters is vague, and reader is not traveler

word count: 4,065 words (average of 388 words per character)

genre: romance, fluff, confession

format: headcanons 

warnings: open-ended confessions, anonymous letters, swearing, alcohol consumption mention, oblivious-ish reader, funeral parlor coupon jokes, hu tao being a match maker, and L-word dropped a lot

a/n: i do hope that everyone’s valentine’s day went okay. this holiday always makes me feel lonely and stuff, and i know others feel the same way. so, i wanted to be self indulgent for once! i apologize profusely if these felt out of character at all💖 (p.s. these are all open ended because... yes💖)

ningguang felt like she was too important to fall in love 

her title and presence is intimidating enough, and her attitude can come off as cold and harsh to those outside her inner circle

still, she’s always reserved this special kindness towards you; a total stranger, technically

which has defiantly gained some unwanted attention, but ningguang was sure to make it disappear with one side-eyed glance

ningguang didn’t realize until it was too late that she cared deeply for you

and now she’s kinda stuck on what to do with these feelings

she tried telling you, but at the last moment she chickened out. she’s lucky that you’re too dense oblivious to have notice anything wrong

but her feelings seep into her work

suddenly the very important work documents she needs to read AND respond to are boring compared to the light scribbling she does on a spare piece of paper

the light scribbling in question? a rough draft of a random love letter addressed to you. 

it’s in that moment that ningguang realizes that this was how she was going to get her feelings out

and damn it, she did it flawlessly 

each letter is so wonderful to read, always filled with compliments that make your heart skip a beat 

though, your curiosity of who keeps sending these letters is eating you right up. ningguang (or WHOEVER has been sending you love letters *cough cough*) has made it ridiculously hard for you to trace the letters back to you

...or so she thought until you come storming into the jade chamber, demanding an audience with ningguang, CLUTCHING FOR DEAR LIFE onto a familiar letter with a sleep deprived look in your eyes

did... did you spend all night figuring this all out...??? ningguang is not so secretly swooning

before you’re flung off the side of the jade chamber for disturbance of the peace, ningguang approves of your request and shoos everyone else out 

why did she have to fall for someone so bold?? you know EXACTLY why ninggaung

nonetheless, she’s quick to smooth everything over

“I don’t know if I should be more scared or impressed that you caught me. Actually, I’d love to hear how exactly you found out I was behind the letters. Maybe a more private discussion over dinner would be more suitable?”

keqing tried her absolute best not to fall for you

she already had a lot on her plate as the yuheng. keqing doesn’t have time for romance and lovey dovey love letters.

but as the saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants

she just can’t stop herself from blushing and stuttering in your presence, its almost impossible to calm down next to someone so intelligent and attractive

so, on an evening when she was alone and not burdened by her work, keqing hesitantly wrote a love letter

she was tired of longing after you and decided to just bite the bullet already and process these feelings her way

it wasn’t a horrible experience, she noted. it was actually quite amusing to imagine how you would react to each word she wrote

she was even proud of herself for actually writing such a nice letter. it’s a shame that she’ll just store it away, never to be seen again. unless...

now writing love letters to you anonymously has become a part of her new routine before bed oops

eventually, keqing managed enough courage to deliver the letters. yes, all of them. (in a neat little box with your name signed nicely on top btw)

however, she was absolutely NOT prepared for you to open the door just as keqing placed the package on your welcome mat

“...lady keqing? what are you-” “this is a dream!” “what?” “you’re dreaming! goodbye, have a good dream!” 

she is so embarrassed. keqing doesn’t want to leave her house at all, out of fear of you confronting her with the love letters

but she eventually drags herself out to see you, finally biting the bullet (properly)

“I don’t make time for people out of the blue often, so listen up. I like you, alright? I’d really like to get to know you better and spend more time with you. ...Would you be interested in that too?”

honestly, zhongli didn’t want the letters to be anonymous

he’s always tempted to just scribble down his signature at the bottom of each letter and send it away before he can regret it

but zhongli restrains himself from doing so

mostly because his letters can be a lot, and he doesn’t want to risk scaring you away

however, if he keeps using hu tao to deliver the letters it might just happen

mostly because it makes it obvious to everyone (except you, apparently) that zhongli is the one behind all the love letters

and also because hu tao is just way too happy when she delivers the love letters, along with some “couple’s discount” coupons. hu tao come on

hu tao is so invested in this secret romance, btw

she doesn’t always read the love letters... but it’s more often than not that your love letters come to you pre-opened

hu tao can’t help it!! it’s just so sweet and she thinks knows how you feel about zhongli

so it wouldn’t hurt if she just edited the letters slightly and dropped zhongli’s name, right? HU TAO NO

after he deals with hu tao himself, zhongli calms himself down and finds you as soon as possible

maybe he still has a chance, maybe you haven’t read the letter yet, maybe there’s still hope-

nope. he sees you coming right around the corner, letter in hand with a flustered face, and only speeding up when your eyes land on his

zhongli wants to act like this was one of hu tao’s infamous pranks, but he just can’t lie to your face like that

so, he comes clean 

“I wrote the letters. They weren’t a cruel prank at all, my feelings are genuine and true. I... I really do like you. All I hope is that you reciprocate the same feelings for me.” 

beidou, the uncrowned captain of the seas and slayer of its residents, was head over heels in love with you

she actually wrote you love letters, anonymously of course, and sent them to you every time she left the harbor for another trip 

it was actually kazuha’s idea, but he doesn’t want to take all the credit for the captain’s romance

but her crew does help her with the letters all the time, whether that be getting them to you or actually writing them

of course, their help doesn’t go without any teasing or laughing towards beidou

they’re practically egging her on to sign the letters and for beidou to finally confess her “undying and unwavering” love to you (another suggestion by kazuha)

and after one night of heavy drinking, beidou writes up a letter all by herself. she signs it, then without another thought she sends it off with her most sober crew mate

the next morning, beidou wakes up to the crew mates breaking into her cabin, fretting around like mother hens as they hurry to get her sobered and nice looking

apparently, you were on the ship asking for an audience with the captain

beidou, who completely forgot about the letter from last night, thinks this is the best thing ever

until she sees the letter in your hands once she steps out of her cabin

after you gave it back, beidou read it over and saw that the letter was... undeniably bad. it’s writing was incredibly hard for both of you to discern, and the message behind it was even harder. but the signature at the bottom was unmistakably hers

while beidou internally promises to never drink again, she looks at you

well, you were bound to find out it was her sending the love letters. might as well tell you how she actually feels now.

“Alright, you caught me. I really like you, and I never told you before because I thought it would be difficult while I’m overseas. I’m willing to make it work somehow, if you are. So, what’cha say? You in or not?”

well, as a musician, xinyan doesn’t just write you love letters

a lot of her songs are based about you, but she’s a little too shy to play them because they’re so OBVIOUSLY about you (she thinks so, anyway)

she does enjoy writing the letters though!

her love letters are as bold as they come. both in their appearance and writing because xinyan pours everything into her letters and music, hoping that it’ll make your day better

she does care about how you are, y’know that right? she watches from afar as you read on, smiling whenever you do too

although, xinyan just cannot bring herself to confess to you

she knows that being in a relationship with her would be difficult. many have told her that she’s terrifying and too much to handle, and being in a relationship with someone famous can be a little difficult

there’s so many doubts in xinyan’s mind about how to progress whatever she feels for you, but she tries to ignore them

so, she’s stuck pining after you and watching from afar

until you start showing up to her shows, standing out in the crowd as you cheered along

xinyan loves talking to you after her performances, even sneaking away from her fans to find a more quiet and scheduled place for you two to talk (while also failing to make it seem extremely platonic and normal)

after a few more concerts and private talks, xinyan decides that it’s now time to go big or go home!

she plays you a song she’s been working on, shyly making eye contact with you as she sings each lyric

after the private performance, xinyan just clears her throat and looks away

“So, er, I like you. A lot. I really enjoy talking with you and looking at you and agh- you make me feel nice! Could we go out for lunch sometime? I know this really nice restaurant in Liyue that I’ve been dying to try.”

the letters were supposed to be a secret

yanfei only wrote them because she needed to do something about these feelings she harboured for you

writing them distracted her from the piles of stressful paperwork waiting on the corner of her desk

and it was actually really nice to just... express her love in secret

but her secret was exposed when a tired yanfei accidentally swapped out her important documents for hu tao with letters about you

one large grin on hu tao’s face made yanfei realize her mistake

she really did try snatching them back, but hu tao was relentless and her spear was useful to keep yanfei away

“you have a thing for them?! but they’re so-” “i know, it was a shock for me too.”

hu tao takes it upon herself to play matchmaker and give yanfei the courage to send out one of the letters to you

yanfei isn’t sure about it at all but as long as she left it as anonymous, it wouldn’t hurt right?

it actually... doesn’t, which surprised yanfei. perhaps sending you a few more wouldn’t hurt either?

but after a few more months of this, yanfei is longing for you so badly

although this time of loving you from afar will have a special place in her heart, she hopes that you’ll find a home in her heart alongside them

so, she confesses to you when she next sees you alone

“I can’t believe I’m actually saying this aloud but... I like you, a lot. I like you so much that I wrote and sent you love letters in secret. But I don’t want my feelings for you to be a secret anymore and... and I want to love you openly.” 

hu tao is determined to not let anyone know about her crush on you

she’s not embarrassed that she likes you! far from it actually!

it’s just that hu tao may or may not have involved herself into other’s peoples love lives and just knows they will try to get revenge

so she goes all out when she writes love letters in secret

the handwriting is never quite the same, but each letter picks up from the last one... which is the only clue you have that they’re all from the same person

hu tao NEVER leaves any space for a signature, just so she isn’t tempted to scribble down her name after a very loving letter

she writes by candlelight in her room at odd hours of the night or early morning

and most importantly, she drops off the letters in the middle of the night (right around closing time) at the post office, covered in a nice cloak

hu tao really makes an effort for no one to know it’s kind of scary

but APPARENTLY her efforts have been for nothing because her friends know about her big crush on you

she’s pleading with them to not say anything, offering coupons and discounts galore

but zhongli and yanfei, two of her most recent victims, don’t let her live it down

they encourage her to make a move, offering her kind words and assurances

but hu tao doesn’t budge

so, with no other obvious choice, zhongli marches down to find you as yanfei distracts hu tao

when you come around the corner, with zhongli shortly behind you, hu tao realized something was up

especially with that cute look of disbelief on your face

yanfei and zhongli bounce out of there as you stare at hu tao, waiting

“What did Zhongli tell you? What? No, this isn’t a prank! I would never do anything that mean to anyone, especially you. I genuinely like you, and want to spend a lot more time together... if you’d let me, that is.”

poor girl went to cloud retainer first

she was just so confused on why she felt so fuzzy yet numb around you, and was concerned that there was something wrong with her

did she have some hidden urge to hurt you? was that why she was feeling this way? but that didn’t make any sense, you have yet to hurt her-

while she explains, cloud retainer has the biggest smirk on her face (beak?)

as soon as shenhe finishes, she just chuckles at her apprentice

i will say that cloud retainer did try to help shenhe process these feelings, asking the right questions and everything

but nothing she said really got through to shenhe, except for one suggestive

“you must really like this mortal if you can wear your earrings and still feel something.”

and suddenly it just clicks for shenhe

she is relieved, of course. but what does she do with these feelings?

cloud retainer turns her towards ganyu, mumbling something about her having more experience with mortals and their “strange” habits

shenhe is surprised when ganyu is excited to help her. she barely manages to write down all of the half-qilin’s romantic ideas, some of them making her raise her eyebrows as she writes them out

most of them aren’t things that shenhe would normally do, at all. but one idea on the list catches her interest

when shenhe writes, it is a delicate, elegant, and long process

she needs a whole afternoon to write out a good letter because of how long it takes

but they always end up looking perfect

shenhe actually delivered the letter directly to you, a neutral expression in her eyes and on her face

“this is for you.” “oh, thank you, shenhe. is this from you?” a pause. “no, it was a mistake by the mailing service.” “oh, alright, thank you, shenhe-” 

girl is out of there before you can blink

she HATED lying to you, mostly because it was hard to come up with a convincing enough lie

but you’ve caught on who your “secret” admirer was by the third or fourth letter delivery. like, there’s no way that the post office can make that many mistakes in a row

when you confront shenhe about it, she literally freezes for a long moment and stares off in the distance

but after you wave your hands in front of her beautiful eyes, shenhe slowly responds 

“You were not supposed to find out this quickly. Although, I am glad you did. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while; I like you. I want to... do what mortals do when they love each other. If... if you love me back, that is.”

god she’s so sweet

whenever yun jin is writing a letter and she’s stuck on what to compliment you on (because she can’t just say “i love everything about you” now can she), she looks to any past yun-han operas

while looking, she actually rediscovers this sweet opera about the life of two people who are madly in love with each other but aren’t sure if the other is too

obviously, it hits yun jin in all the right places (even making her tear up as she reads through the script) and really does inspire her

yun jin now wants to revisit this opera and host it... and she does

it takes a lot of work, of course. but it’s so fun and she involves a lot of other people in it, even having some auditions for supporting cast (like, all of liyue is pretty excited about it)

the letters she sends leading up to opening day are much more sweet and promising

the very last letter she sends before the show includes a nice voucher for nice seats (a gift from me to you, my dear.), praying that you’ll show up 

and when she sees you in front, dressed up nicely for the occasion, yun jin beams from behind the stage

she put her whole heart into that performance because you showed up

although, she couldn’t dismiss the disappointed look on your face after the show

yun jin slips away from all her adoring fans, praising her work and talent (a.k.a. all the hard work she put into it all smh), and follows after you

“are you okay? you looked a little disappointed after the show.” “oh, uh, yeah, i’m fine. i was just hoping to see the person who reserved the seat fot me. that’s all.”

you’re surprised that she’s taken such an interest in your opinion. doesn’t the renowned stage lucida have somewhere else to be?

yun jin feels bad for getting your hopes up, honestly. she realizes that the letter might have leaded on to a meet up...which is what techinically happened but- which makes her feel worse

as you make way to leave, slightly embarassed for being so personal with yun jin, you feel a gentle hand take your wrist

without thinking, yun jin lets the next few words (her confession) fall out of her mouth

“I reserved that seat for you. And I wrote the letters. I’m the one who really likes you. I’m the one who wrote the sweet compliments about your eyes and your laughter. I... I’m the one who really likes you. And I’m scared to ask this, but... do you like me too?”

ganyu had always found the idea of writing love letters romantic

from all her time in liyue, she has heard countless stories of young romance and writing love letters

it was actually pretty common for the sailors to send letters back home to their sweethearts on longer voyages (although, they usually got back before the letter got home)

the stories were quite inspiring, even if ganyu’s love life was quiet

until you came along!

she finds herself a flustered mess around you and letting herself day dream about the two of you together

you’ve captured her heart effortlessly and unknowingly! well done

ganyu does want to act on these feelings though

although she’s a little timid to actually confess to you, writing love letters is a nice alternative for ganyu

it is stressful for her to write the letters and then deliver them. the last thing she wants is for you to find out it’s her that’s sending the letters

the way you react to the letters is just too cute for ganyu to reveal herself! even if you ask a bunch of questions afterwards

she never answers truthfully either, always providing weak excuses that make you raise your brow

but after one day of tiring work, she slips up and lets the words fall from her lips

“The person who’s been sending you all these love letters? It’s me. W-wait, did I really just say that aloud? Ah! J-just forget I said anything, please. Unless... unless you feel the same way about me?”

it wasn’t actually his idea to write you love letters

xiao was fine with just watching you from afar, really. he could spend all day watching you mingle with verr goldet and was content to experience you from afar (although a since of longing often plagued him afterwards)

however, huai’an caught xiao in one of his staring sessions and he has yet to live it down

huai’an was incredibly happy for him! he was just so excited that xiao found someone he liked, and huai’an had the perfect ideas to set you and xiao up!

confess to them! “no.” ask them on a date! “no.” give them flowers! “no.” write them a love letter!  “no.” anonymously?  “...fine.” 

xiao was extremely flustered whenever he wrote the letters. it also takes a lot of confidence from him to sneak down and deliver them to verr who would then hand them to you

he wants to say so much about you, but it’s so difficult when it all sounds like huai’an whenever he gets lovey dovey

and yes, they weren’t the most romantic letters and often times were extremely confusing to read

but these unexpected anonymous love letters were still a pleasant surprise to you! (from what xiao saw, anyway)

however, one time xiao wasn’t as sneaky as he thought he was when handing off the love letter to verr goldet

because just at that moment you came down the stairs and recognised the letter in his hands

xiao just fucking DISAPPEARS as soon as he makes eye contact with you, taking the love letter with him

it’ll take a few days before he comes out of hiding, using those days to build up the courage to speak to you directly

“I’m only going to say this once, so please listen carefully. I... I really like you and I want to spend some time with you. Would... would you like that too?”

baizhu’s illness leaves him bed-ridden pretty often

to the point where he can only visit his pharmacy every few weeks, bringing important documents and herbs with him

however, between all the important documents and herbs are love letters addressed to a special someone

you’re one of the most helpful souls baizhu has met, often accompanying qiqi when she needs to collect herbs. how could he not fall for you when you care so much about her? seriously

although it’s no secret that baizhu is the one who writes the letters, he finds it more amusing to leave the letters anonymous

even if he spends days writing them, hoping that his compliments and romantic metaphors aren’t too cheesy 

the amount of crumbled up letters in his waste basket is concerning, tbh

but baizhu’s favorite part of this whole process is the look on your face when you receive these letters

he even goes as far as handing the letters directly to you, making an off hand comment about someone dropping them off at the pharmacy

baizhu thinks he’s so slick when you believe the innocent lies

he even gets cocky! putting the love letters on top of the important papers and flowers whenever he comes in

it wasn’t long before baizhu’s confidence made him slip up

how was he supposed to know you would be at the pharmacy earlier than he thought?!

“Ah, well, you see, dear, I just thought it would be more romantic if I... I’m digging myself a deeper grave, aren’t I? Well, while I’m still digging, would you like to go out for dinner sometime?”

thank you for reading 💖 all forms of interaction to my posts are appreciated 💖

[clumsy-hood]

obey me! demon brothers + realizing they’re in love with mc

prompt: the order in which the brothers would realize they are in love with mc (sooner → later).

word count: 1,277

a/n: i know i said this in an earlier post, but the goal going forward will be to (hopefully) post my writing—commissions included—on weekends. i have quite a few concepts and rough drafts sitting in my notes that i still need to finish writing and editing. so far, it’s just a matter of finding the time to actually do it. but if anyone has any prompt lists they want to throw my way too, i’m open to finding additional inspiration!

1 → Mammon

Outwardly, yes, it would take him a while to drop the instant denial front he constantly threw up whenever someone accused him of having feelings for you. But inside? He knew he wanted to spend as much time with you as he possibly could and shower you with gifts he’d try to save up for or earn. And if it was possible to get a matching gift, then he’d splurge a little extra because it meant something more connected you to one another and was a special thing shared between you—and ONLY you two. Hell, with your permission, he even left the occasional t-shirt or jacket in your room—and even secretly stashed his toothbrush in your bathroom due to passing out after too many late-night movie marathons. Sure, his brothers’ constant teasing annoyed him to no end, but even Mammon couldn’t deny he was greedy for your time. He loved you so soon and suddenly, wanting to hold your hand and never let you go. 

2 → Asmo: 

Without a doubt, Asmo knew he was attracted to you from the moment he laid eyes on you—although it wasn’t your physical beauty that snared him but rather the aura you exuded. Of course, the physical attraction was undeniable to him as well so he couldn’t help the showering of compliments that rained from his lips; he is, after all, the Avatar of Lust, and actions such as those were completely second nature to him. It started with the lingering touches, though, when he realized something was amiss this time. His skin warmed unnaturally wherever your brushed against his—even if for just a moment—and lingered on him throughout the day. It never truly hit him until he’d regularly seek out your company for seemingly platonic or romantic reasons—without desiring any future sexual gratification. Obviously, those thoughts occupied his mind and the flirting with you never ceased—unless you asked him to, of course—but after centuries of experiencing lust and adoration, love consumed his heart, and he merely wanted you to feel the same for him in return. 

3 → Satan: 

With all his knowledge of fictional romance in TV shows and books, Satan was convinced he would truly know a romantic love—if he were able to experience it—by the excitement and explosive emotions it carried. However, he was quick to discover it was quite the opposite with you: The rage he carefully concealed with polite smiles and intellect was blanketed in warmth and peace whenever you were around. It was a sudden shock to him, the first time he realized he wasn’t consumed with anger, and all because he was in your presence. The demon regularly sought your company, adoring your attention—whether it was listening to him discuss the plot twist in a mystery novel he was reading or showing you his favorite spots in Devildom he never shared with his brothers. He was never in denial about his emotions for you; all he knew was that a human saw kindness and good in him, and he wanted to prove—at least to himself—he was worthy of such good. 

4 → Lucifer: 

It wasn’t so much that Lucifer would ever be in denial of these feelings—once he’d realized he was in love with you, it was like every nerve was set on fire—but rather he was concerned hi emotions would compromise Diavolo’s goals. Every moment you spent laughing and smiling with his brothers rather than with him left the demon frustrated and hopelessly hollow believing he couldn’t keep you as close as he’d like. Even the slightest graze from you, however platonic or intentional, left the spot blazing from your touch. You were meant to drive him crazy in the worst possible ways and yet all the traits he wanted to despise were only found endearing. Your stubbornness, your kindness, and your curiosity—all attributes that should have maddened him to no end, he noticed, came from a place of love as well. The demon may struggle to consider a human to be his equal, but he’ll never question his love of your presence, your smile, your touch, your damn—well—everything. And as much as he wouldn’t want to jeopardize Diavolo’s plan, loving you makes him doubt every other thing. 

5 → Belphie: 

Even if his hatred towards human quickly faded upon the discoveries of Lilith and her connection to you, opening himself up to the idea of being in love with you was a genuinely jarring concept to him. Especially if you found it in yourself to forgive him for, you know, killing you, Belphie wanted to prove himself worthy of your forgiveness in the first place—even if he tended to be a little shithead going about it. Like most of the brothers, he was rather needy for your time and attention, but where they often showed you their favorite spots in Devildom, he sought quiet areas around the House of Lamentation where the two of you could be alone. Something about you was so soft and warm to him. Honestly, most of his dreams were filled with visions of your smile and laugh, your body pressed snuggly against his. Maybe he wasn’t the most forthcoming with his love, but he never shied away from telling you how much he wanted to live with only you and Beel forever. He’s a demon with some regrets—hurting you being at the top of the list—but being the reason for your smile eased the guilt bit by bit. 

6 → Levi: 

An overwhelming sense of confusion and denial would leave him on the fence for a long time until he’d come to terms with his feelings towards you. And honestly, you couldn’t really blame the demon—Levi’s main loves for years have been 2D characters so suddenly developing such strange emotions or an attraction to a real human would be damning to him. It couldn’t be helped, though. For all he had tried to push you away or disregard your norm opinions, he couldn’t help how giddy he’d get whenever you’d agree to watch a new anime with him or introduce him to a new idol band. He was wholeheartedly convinced you must clearly be doing this out of pity or something—no matter if your heart was truly in it or not—because even his brothers never seemed to give his interests the rapt attention you offered him. He could be alone in his room and only think of how it’d be better with you there; or how he wanted to keep you so close, your fragrance would linger on his clothes so it was as though you were always with him. 

7 → Beel: 

Unlike some his brothers shacking up in a state of denial, Beel took longer to realize he was in love with you simply because he could never put his feelings into words. He knew he enjoyed spending time with you—rooming with you while Belphie was “away” was one of the initial highlights of your first stay in Devildom—and he was one to admit he considered you family to him, caring for you as he does for his brothers. Except, it was different. Maybe because you weren’t his actual family but his chosen family? He was never sure for the longest time. And yet, you were the only one he offered any of his food to and went out of his way to invite you out for dinner—which, in his mind, was a completely normal and friendly thing. But it’d strike him down like a bolt of lightning, realizing all of these feelings, once you’d offered to make him human food, and boy was he a goner. 

[enigmawrappedinhypocrisy]

*Request* Okay. Thanks! Could the reader be in to wrestling and her and barley are best friends? And something happened and they find out they’re falling for each other? And Ian is always teasing the reader? And a kiss at the end? Sorry if it’s a bit confusing.. again thanks!

 Okay I’m not sure how to do this… and I’m not into wrestling… And i’m really bad at this getting things done thing… sooo… I’m sorry, I know this has been in my asks for 100 years. But excuses… And i’m tired of this being in my drafts sooo… However, Hopefully it's decent enough. 

Fandom: Onward

Pairings: Barley x Reader (mention of grandchildren once but nothing that indicates gender... I think...) 

Warnings: Bad writing, Quick Mention of drunk idiots harassing reader, I don’t know a thing about Wrestling, Fluff, very bouncy thoughts... a tiny little bit of almost angst. 

❀✦ Master List✦❀

You met Barley at a wrestling match when a few drunk idiots decided to hassle you. As they tend to do… 

You ran into the first, seemingly safe person you saw. You looked at him with puppy eyes and were grateful he understood your silent plea. 

Barley smiled warmly and put his arm around you. He pretended to be your boyfriend until the guys lost interest in you and left. He made some jokes to lighten the mood and struck up a casual conversation with you, as if you really did know each other. You found yourself amazed and feeling better, it seemed this elf boy radiated security and gentleness.  

Then, with a simple thank you, you’d parted ways; only to run into each other again at the local diner after the match. It was there you had sat and talked well into the early hours of the morning. 

You learned he was interested in many things you were, and you just felt… content around him. By the time you had to part, numbers were exchanged, and he’d texted you before noon that day. 

You began hanging out shortly after that. You were nearly always at each other’s house, and quickly became close with his family. His mother adored you and his brother felt comfortable enough to joke around with you. 

All in all you and Barley were quite close.

But not as close as your family's seemed to think you were… or maybe hope would be more appropriate…  

*

The weekend had finally arrived and you made your way to Barley’s house, as planned, after work.

There was a big wrestling event in the evening and you and Barley had plans to hang out and watch it together. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for you to spend a lot of time at the Lightfoot house so no one batted an eye when you showed up a little early. 

Ms. Lightfoot welcomed you and let you know that Barley had called saying he'd be a little late, and she was going out with friends. As she was leaving she turned to wink at you telling you, with a knowing look, to have fun. 

You thanked her as you felt your cheeks flush with warmth and made your way to the familiar living room. You didn't mind waiting for Barley, in fact, you'd be willing to wait all night if it meant spending time with him. Not that you would tell him that...

Lost in your thoughts about how dumb and sappy that sounded even in your mind, and the implications therein, you hadn't noticed Barley's brother come in.

You had spent a fair amount of time with both brothers since you’d first met Barley. So by this time Ian was pretty comfortable around you, sometimes even coming to you for help or advice. Especially when it entailed something he might have been too embarrassed about to ask his mother or brother about.  

 Ian had decided to take a break from homework, and get a snack when he found you lost in thought on his couch. When he came back from the kitchen only to find you with the same dazed expression several minutes later he decided to tease you a little. 

"Barley late for date night?" Ian asks, his tone even, leaning against the wall an apple in hand. 

"Yea- wait no! Why would you say that?" You blink taken off guard by the sudden question. 

Ian raises an eyebrow in a ‘really?’ expression. 

“Shut up” you try and fail to keep the blush from your voice. "We're just… eh… hanging out!" You defend a little too enthusiastically. 

“Interesting that’s the part you chose to respond to…” Ian chuckles, before heading back upstairs. If you weren't ready to admit your feelings, who was he to do it for you… besides, this was  far more amusing.

*

It wasn't much longer until Barley arrived home, a little disheveled. The match wasn't due to start for another hour, maybe more depending on how things went, and yet it looked like the elf boy had rushed home. 

Why? 

The only thought that continued to creep into your mind was you… he rushed home to see you. The idea of It warmed your heart, and filled you with a longing. A longing for a potential life where Barley was coming home after work each day to see you. 

He'd find you cooking… reading… working on some project… and kiss you. 

You'd ask him about his day… and he yours. 

You'd share a pleasant dinner and end the night cuddled on the couch… 

You’d be happy… 

Ian's words run on loop in your mind and you don’t notice the way Barley’s face lights up upon seeing you. 

Did Barley think you were dating? That this was a date? 

Did he want it to be? 

Did you? 

You hadn't noticed you were staring until Barley brought attention to it. 

"What?" You jump. 

"I asked why you were looking at me like that?" he gives you his charming little half smile as he repeats, what you assume was, his earlier question. 

"Oh, um… nothing… no reason" you blush and desperately avoid looking at him. 

Barley watches you for a moment, clearly not believing your answer, but gives in with a shrug. 

"I'm just gonna go put my stuff down and get something to drink… you want something?" He asks. 

"Okay, um… no thanks" you try to sound casual all the while you're incredibly aware of your quickening heartbeat. 

Barley nods before leaving you, calling to you from the kitchen. He asks about your day. You give a non answer in response and ask him about his. 

He goes on to tell you about some funny thing his boss said in response to an irate customer, and soon returns to the living room. He hands you your drink before flopping down next to you. 

You scold him as you nearly spill. Not really realizing he brought you something even though you told him you didn’t need him to… not only that, but it was definitely your favorite… why would he… how… 

"Sorry my love" he smirks, clearly not sorry. 

You roll your eyes giving him a little shove in response to the nickname. He often called you sweet things. Things you previously attributed to his personality or teasing but now they had you wondering.

When he called you those things, sweetheart, darling, dear… was he actually hinting at what he really felt? 

You look at him out of the corner of your eye and quickly squeak noticing he was watching you with an indescribable emotion.

"W-what?" You try to act casual. 

"What's wrong with you?" He asks, blunt and to the point. 

"What do you mean?" You try and play it off, as if your mind wasn’t playing that little game with the levers and ball… and see you can’t even remember what it’s called… and it’s your analogy… 

PINBALL! Your brain was playing pinball… the dinging buzzing things the ball hits against being the sudden and many thoughts… which makes you the ball? Or was the ball the thoughts… bouncing around… there goes the analogy again…  

"You're being all quiet and…” he indicates you vaguely,  “did my mom say something to you? She's been teasing me about grandchildren lately, she didn't say something like that too you did she?" 

Your eyes widen and you suspect Barley didn't mean to let that slip out by the blush now coloring his ears. 

"No… but um… what-what do you tell her when she asks about that kind of stuff?" Yeah super subtle… 

Barley scratches the back of his neck, “I tell her we haven't discussed that…" 

Wait…

"Why would we… Um Barley?" You push away your insecurities, fear that you’d read the situation wrong, and decide to just jump in with both feet. 

Or tip over the machine? Does it work now? The analogy? 

He 'hmms'. 

"Do you think we're dating?" You try to phrase it gently but cringe when you hear yourself. You don’t want to come across rude, like you’re making fun of him… but also don’t wanna let on how much you’re starting to suspect you want him to say yes… 

Barley looks away from you, practically purple at this point. 

"Uh… no of course not…" It sounded small, nervous but... hopeful? 

"Do… do you want to?" you manage to force out, slightly proud of your mostly even tone.

Do you?

You’re still not sure at this point yourself, you’d only just realized the way you feel about the elf boy that was your best friend. Did you want to risk that? What happens if this was just a little puppy attraction, lust thing… and whatever relationship you begin quickly sizzles out? 

Barley is looking at his hands as he nervously fiddles with the zipper of his vest. He bites his lip and tries to avoid your gaze. 

Oh… 

You soften, “It’s okay if you do… I mean… wanna… um…” Now you can’t find the words, which becomes more difficult when Barley looks up at you, hope shining in his eyes. 

“What are you saying?” he prompts, heart pounding in his chest. He hopes you can’t hear it. 

You shift, turning towards him slightly. “Well… if you wanted to maybe go on a date or something…” 

“Yes?” 

“I’d probably be okay with that… I mean… if you want to” you add the last part, now desperately hoping this wasn’t some awful joke. 

Barley smiles, reaching forward to brush a piece of hair from your face. “Do you wanna go on a date with me?” He asks softly, apparently having gained some confidence back. 

You nod, leaning into his touch before you realize you’re doing it. 

“Tomorrow night?” he suggests. 

Again, you nod, not trusting your voice. 

Barley smiles, his attention turning back to the tv. The match was starting soon, the announcers already talking about what they expect to happen. He leans back, his arm resting behind you on the top of the couch. Not an uncommon thing for the elf boy. What was uncommon, however, was you relaxing against his side and how right it felt.

Without a word, perhaps because he wasn’t sure he could trust his voice either, Barley brings his arm down around you, holding you against him. 

If you had the courage yourself to look up at him, you would have seen the flushing upon his cheeks. But either way this was comfortable and you weren’t in a hurry to end it any time soon. 

*

A few hours later Barley's mom returns home. Maaaybe a little drunk which results in her cooing loudly when she finds you and Barley asleep and cuddling on the couch. 

This, and her half stumbling up the stairs, manages to rouse you and Barley from your comfortable nap.

Barley yawns, and slowly gets to his feet. 

"Come on, I'll drive you home" he offers another yawn soon follows.

"Don't worry, I can drive myself" you stretch, not really pleased with the idea of making the trip home yourself.

"You're too tired- not safe" Barley half murmurs. 

"You're too tired" you retort. 

"You should stay here… on the couch… or I can take the couch" he stumbles over his words. 

You nod in agreement flopping back on the couch. When Barley doesn't leave you raise a brow in question. 

"I was just thinking…" he shuffles from one foot to the other.

You watch him with patient eyes, now a little more alert. You'd let him say what he needed, when he needed not wanting to rush him. 

"I mean… if I don't drive you home I can't kiss you goodbye…" 

His ears were a dark maroon by now and you can't keep the smile from your eyes. His sweetness, his bashfulness, just how God damn cute he was. And most of all… how much you wanted to kiss his pink tinted face. 

So you did. 

You stood, quicker than he could react, grabbed his face on either side, and brought his lips to yours. After a moment of shock Barley’s arms come around you, keeping you too him. 

You can't say for sure if the head rush you felt was from the kiss or standing too suddenly, but you chose to think it was the kiss as you give him several more little pecks before eventually breaking apart with a yawn. 

"Better?" You ask, your head falling forward to lean against his shoulder. 

Barley nods before pulling back, calling a good night to you, and hurrying to his room. 

You chuckle softly before flopping once again on the couch… there'd be time tomorrow to deal with all this… but for now… sleep was calling and the old couch was far too inviting… 

*And that’s all folks*

[13atoms]

Deep Focus: Chapter 1 [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Summary: Tom’s a successful porn director with a romantic streak which proves very popular with his female audience. His resident porn actress and business partner has been with him through thick and thin, the two of them growing completely inseparable, even as her own career starts taking off.

But working in such close proximity is intense, and burgeoning feelings threaten to complicate their professional relationship.

Mature, smut, porn director!AU, ethical porn production discussion, porn-star-and-coworker!reader. Friends to lovers, slow-ish burn. [7.7k]

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There was such a style to everything Tom wrote, everything he directed. A sincere passion that you suspected was always meant to be used elsewhere. You wondered if his craftsmanship was ever appreciated, on the other side of the screen, as strangers got hot and bothered watching each meticulously designed frame of his vision come to life.

Sure, it was porn. But Tom directed it like he could win an Oscar for ‘hot lifeguard pounded poolside’. This was his livelihood, his passion, and it was a damn shame he wasn’t award-season eligible.

The names would make you wince, as you saw them uploaded to the site, thumbnails and previews drawing in viewers by the million with their shots of heaving bodies and glistening sweat. Tom never called the videos such crass things. Not in his scripts. You would get copies titled ‘Romantic Night In’ or ‘Office Love Affair.’ He was a fan of sugar-coating what would be inside those innocuous white pages, a veneer of respectability which Tom insisted upon, regardless of how obvious the true nature of the videos was. But once the videos were sold, it was out of his hands. Your face contorted mid-faux-orgasm would be plastered across the site, and everyone involved would try and forget what happened.

Ignore the comments.

Keep moving.

You often wondered how Tom wound up in this place, with his sharply tailored suits and polished shoes, eloquent and educated, his words almost poetic as he directed mid-budget porn in hotel rooms and his studio day-in, day-out.

Then again, he never seemed particularly bothered by it. He gave each shoot his full attention, his full boundless enthusiasm and all the professionalism he could muster. You wondered how he balanced it, sometimes, the creative drive to press on with trying to be creative and shoehorn romance into films knowing that, ultimately, it was porn.

He had interviewed you like a real director might, talking about your life and experience and ambitions, almost apologetic when he had finally choked out ‘could you undress’, barely glancing at your naked form before he hired you as his first employee.

You asked him early on, while watching him try and assemble a fake restaurant-date set in the studio, complete with faux windows and an extra playing a waiter, why he bothered when three-minutes of good quality fucking footage would make him the same amount of money. He’d given you a strange smile, the wrinkles beginning to appear at the corners of his eyes, and shrugged.

“I make what I’d like to see.”

The words haunted you later, as your rather attractive co-star bent you over the white-cloth covered dining table and you allowed mewls and groans to escape your mouth without a second thought. Trying to avoid the muted blue of Tom’s eyes behind the cameraman.

Despite your reservations when you first started to work for him, Tom had won you over. His gentler, more romantic approach to pornography had a loyal following. Both of your pseudonyms garnered huge numbers of views across various platforms, and Tom was keen to cultivate a collection of female-friendly porn. Against all the odds, it was working.

And you loved working with him. He was a great director, and inspired writer, and a genuinely brilliant boss. He made sure you saw royalties, good pay, that everyone you worked with was screened and tested, always keeping you safe. Always.

Each time he called a wrap, passing you a robe and offering a meek congratulations on your performance, you found yourself more and more pleased you had wound up working with him.

“You really do have a talent,” he’d told you one day, distracting you as you discussed a new script in his office.

You were sat opposite him, Tom’s glasses perched on his head as he watched you read, your feet resting against the leg of his desk. You’d come in to your shared workspace to try some costumes out, to discuss new scenes, still recovering from a thoroughly exhausting shoot the day before. There were still light bruises around your wrists, and you caught Tom glancing at them worriedly each time your long-sleeved shirt slipped.

“I love that you’re such an actor,” he continued, hands tapping the desk as he spoke, “like, a real actor.”

Your eyes drifted across the script, scanning it with your bottom lip between your teeth. He always appreciated your input, wanting the ‘female fantasy’ in a lot of his work, and he’d timidly shown you some ‘student-professor’ script he’d been working on. He was like that, embarrassed in a way which you wouldn’t expect from a man with his considerable experience in adult entertainment. He was assertive, certain, even stern where it counted. But with just the two of you together, dancing around what was sexy and what wasn’t, he seemed desperate to avoid saying anything you might perceive as too ‘crude’.

“What do you mean?” you’d chuckled, still flicking through the first draft.

He only entrusted you with such early versions of his work – but that made sense. Your careers were symbiotic, tied to one another with an unspoken pact. He directed everything you were in, and you were in everything he directed.

It made sense.

“You don’t just… I don’t know. You never make my scripts seem silly. Or cheesy. You… you really try and make them feel real. I could write anything, and you’ll deliver the lines well. I was overseeing auditions earlier and... I just kept thinking none of them were you. I think you might be the best in the business.”

You rolled your eyes, offering him a disbelieving smirk, and he scoffed.

“I’m serious! I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

The weight of his words settled heavy in your chest, and you turned back to the script, frowning as you flicked through the loose-leaf pages. Tom fidgeted behind his desk, unhappy with losing your attention, but you ignored him.

“Here. If you want the fantasy to be believable, I think he needs to lock the office door. Make a show of it, you know. Cover my mouth,” you comment dismissively. Tom already has as pen in his hand, making notes. “It could be hot, maybe ‘Don’t make a sound or you can’t cum’, something like that. As if there’s other students in the corridor outside.”

Nodding, Tom dutifully wrote down your words, mouth slightly open in realisation as he listened.

“Don’t make a sound…” Tom repeated, and you felt yourself blush.

“Not… not that exactly,” you backtracked, “you’re the real writer! I just think, there needs to be some build up. A remind of the power dynamic. Him going straight to oral is a bit… fast. That could happen in any old plot, you know?”

You felt his eyes on you, looking up from the paper to spot Tom leaning back in his chair, a distant smile on his face.

“You really are the best,” he praised, “that’s great. I’ll do rewrites tonight.”

For a moment, you let his words hang heavy in the air. Then you blinked back at him, a slight frown pinching your forehead at his strange mood. He was calm, for once. Tom was usually a ball of enthusiasm, and you wondered if your dismissal of his words earlier had done something to hamper his spirit.

“It’s always easier to critique,” you dismissed, “I love the script, it’s great. I really think it’ll be good. Hot. Maybe I can wear a Britneyschool girl costume, or something?”

He frowned a little, pinching the bridge of his nose at the thought.

“No, weird. We’re going for University student, just… a nice pair of jeans or something.”

“Don’t they wear suits where you went, posh boy?” you teased, loving how it riled him up. “I’ll try and dress like a smart person.”

“You are smart, don’t give me that.”

You rolled your eyes, loving how you managed to fluster him, putting the script back on his cluttered desk as you reached for your bag. This was how your meetings always went, a few hours of notes, some teasing, and a hasty retreat once Tom told you the next shoot day you had to attend. You still had a few hours of social media to do for the last video you’d shot together, notes from Tom, and you lamented the sight of the sun setting outside of your shared office. You’d hoped for at least a bit of natural light today.

“I’m serious, you are!” Tom asserted, and you ignored him purposely as you shut down your laptop, preparing to take it home.

“Yeah, I know, whatever. Don’t work too late!”

“Rich coming from you,” he sighed, “it really doesn’t matter if we send that last edit late.”

“It matters to me! I’d quite like to get paid this week, you know?”

Tom sighed. The two of you tried to produce a couple of videos a week – one for Tom’s site and another to sell to a third party. It didn’t leave either of you with much free time, both of you left in the tiny office at all hours as you worked to keep up with demand.

“Very true. But I’d rather you got some sleep, you know I can help if you’re short on money,” he offered, shuffling papers on his own desk.

He was always quick to jump to an offer to help, and you tried to ignore the fondness spreading through your chest at his eagerness to look out for you. That gentle protectiveness which coursed through Tom was enough to make you melt.

He was one in a million, that was for sure.

“I’m fine, Tom. Thank you though, I’ll ask, if, y’know –”

“Do! Any time. Actually…”

Tom cut himself off, typing something into his phone, and your pocket buzzed with a notification.

“Get yourself a nice dinner.”

You checked your phone to see a transfer from Tom. It wasn’t a crazy amount, but too much for just dinner, and you huffed performatively as he grinned at you.

“No! Don’t be ridiculous –”

He barely made more than you, and you were certainly doing perfectly comfortably.

“Royalties are really good this month. That old break-up sex video is trending again, apparently.”

You smothered a smile. It was hate-fucking, as you’d told Tom a hundred times. That was the title. You could still remember the look on his face the day you’d filmed it, his twitchiness, the unknown male actor who had slightly scared both of you with his sheer size as he stepped into the studio. The male star had fucked you like you’d broken his heart, hands on your neck and hips bruising yours as he pounded into you, and you’d be a little alarmed at how little you had needed to act in his domineering presence. He’d been muscular and tall and assertive, almost injuring you with his enthusiasm, and the shoot had ended with you a sweaty mess, struggling to walk, eyes watery.

You had ached from the moment Tom helped you up from the bed, a protective body between you and your costar as you watched the man collect his clothes and his paycheck. The footage had been great, you’d watched Tom edit it, but it had been your first taste of Tom’s protectiveness. The actor had never returned, and Tom had bought a hot water bottle for the office, pressing it into your lap as he brought tea for the pair of you, loathing how you winced as you moved.

He’d taken you out for dinner that night to celebrate a good edit, but you knew the real reason. That neither of you wanted the other to be alone. It had been a lovely evening, a restaurant then a bar, without a break in laughing conversation the entire night. It hadn’t been a date, but if it had been a date, it would’ve been the nicest date you’d ever been on. In those moments, you wondered if Tom was really cut out for the industry. If you were.

As much as Tom hated the film, it was hot. It had propelled your studio into the spotlight, and it paid a significant chunk of your rent.

“Thank you,” you smiled to him, wracking your mind for anything else that needed discussing before you headed home.

Maybe you’d get takeaway. That would be nice.

Tom cleared his throat.

“What are we shooting tomorrow, by the way?”

You looked up at his words, frowning a little at the realisation you hadn’t been given a script yet. It was unlike him, to be so unprepared. Usually everything was organised weeks in advance. With a glance at the shadows under his eyes, you decided not to tease him about it.

“We’re shooting tomorrow?”

“This week… we’ve only got one video. I was just thinking something simple, I haven’t called a costar yet, but we don’t have to if you don’t want to –”

It was your paycheck on the line as much as Tom’s, and you wondered how the hell you’d forgotten.

“Do we have a camera crew?” you frowned.

“No, not yet. I can call though. Or I could just do it myself, if we’re not doing anything too complicated?”

You thought for a moment, leaning against the open doorframe as Tom started to pack up his own desk, nimble fingers tapping across his keyboard.

“Solo?” you suggested, stifling a laugh as Tom blinked and tilted his head to face you.

“I missed that, love?”

“Solo. Like ‘hot female solo’ or something?”

He smiled slightly, closing his laptop lid.

“That’ll do well, I’m sure. Do we need anything costume-wise? Props?”

Toys. He meant toys. You smiled at his refusal to call a spade a damn spade.

“I’m sure we can find everything here. It’ll be nice to do a simple shoot for a change,” you enthused, holding the door for Tom as he moved to turn off the lights, lingering nearby as he locked up the office.

“Yeah. Single-shot, no camera-man either.”

“Cheap,” you sighed, as though it was the sexiest thing in the world.

You did the books, and avoiding having any more costs this month sounded great.

“Yeah,” Tom smiled, falling into step beside you as the two of you left the warehouse studio.

He looked ready to say something else, but changed his mind. For a second the two you stood by the exit, words trapped beneath your closed lips as the early evening air enveloped you.

“Do you need a lift home?” Tom finally offered.

“No. No, I’m good. Thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah. Usual time. Twelve?”

“Perfect.”

He reached an arm out, ready for you to walk into his embrace, and you froze. The moment was over as soon as it started, his arm retracted, and you could only stare. His hand found the curls at the back of his head, scratching there, a blush dusting his cheeks in the harsh fluorescent lights of the car park. You could kick yourself as you watched the bob of his Adam’s apple, the clench of his jaw. He felt awkward. You contemplated hugging him, but the moment had passed. Instead you rocked on your heels for a second, before turning to leave.

“Bye, Tom!”

“‘Night! Look after yourself, don’t forget dinner. I’ll see you – ”

He cut himself off as you walked too far away, and you could have kicked yourself for the sadness in his final syllable. You sighed as your feet fell against the pavement, your whole walk home haunted by the awkward shuffle of Tom’s hands as he went to hug you goodbye.

*

You were surprised by how difficult it was to brush off that awkward memory. As you ordered and ate dinner, you were reminded of Tom with every bite, that he’d snuck aside part of the company’s petty cash budget to give you dinner. That both of you had gone home, separately, to separate empty houses and empty beds.

Had he wanted to go for drinks? Wanted company? You had come to accept a long time ago that the man was your closest friend. He would be the person you called in an emergency, a shoulder to cry on. You liked to think he’d lean on you the same way.

Despite that, you spent limited time together outside of a professional context. You never met up on weekends, or casually called. Of course you didn’t. He made a career out of seeing you naked, watching you fake orgasms for other men. As you readied yourself for the day, you reminded yourself that of course, he would be nice to his only full-time, very lucrative actress. To his business partner.

As you’d queued up the company’s social media posts the night before, you could only think of Tom behind the camera, orchestrating each photo and clip you uploaded.

You couldn’t help the grin which split your face as you walked into the studio, bag flung over your shoulder, overpacked with everything you thought you could possibly need. Tom greeted you, emerging from his office with a smile.

Before you could overthink it, you walked into his arms, giving him very little choice in the matter as you greeted him with a hug. In his surprise you felt his body stiffen, his arms slowly wrapping around you, and you were momentarily gobsmacked by the muscular form he seemed to hide behind those suits.

He was a little more dressed down today, smart black jeans and a button-up white shirt, unruly hair sticking up like it did when he forgot to brush it. He looked better than yesterday, like he’d had a good night’s sleep.

“Good morning,” he chuckled, bemusement clear in his voice.

You pulled back from the hug, a little embarrassed at the affection until you saw the smile stretching across his face, reaching his eyes. Suddenly the previous night, worrying you had inadvertently rejected him, seemed to be erased.

“Morning! What have you got for me?”

The studio space was cleaned, but empty. The camera stood in the corner as Tom lead you further into the room, his office door open to the side of it, and you frowned at the emptiness of the space.

There were tape marks on the floor where sets were usually assembled, conspicuous without the usual hive of activity buzzing around some piece of furniture you would be thrown onto or fucked against. There was nothing.

“I didn’t know what you wanted to do,” Tom was saying, his gentle voice booming in the empty space, “we don’t have a script or anything so… I’ll leave it to you.”

You bit your lip.

It was more freedom than you were used to, less direction, less to build the fantasy where you could forget you were ultimately in a warehouse with just your business partner. It was… nothing. Tom said your name quietly, and you nodded, stepping back to assess the space.

“I’m just thinking,” you reassured him.

Had the studio always been this quiet? You tried to remember a shoot day where it had been this silent, this calm, without the stress of lighting people or cameramen or scripts being thrown around. You could hear every step Tom took as he walked towards the camera, the wheel-mounted tripod creaking as he moved it across the floor, checking batteries and SD cards while you stood in place, your bag still hanging from one shoulder.

Noticing your frozen stance Tom frowned across at you, nothing but gentle concern in his blue eyes and the fine lines around them.

“I was thinking something kind of minimal, maybe cosy?” he offered, “Maybe an armchair? Something like that?”

You thought about it for a moment, crossing to the corner of the room to finally set down your bag.

He was finally getting into ‘director mode’, growing more energetic by the second.

“I’m thinking we just frame it on you, no distraction. Single take, if we can.”

You nodded silently as he crossed to the storage cupboard he’s overeagerly labelled a ‘props department’. It was stacked high with fabric and furniture and lingerie, tubs of various exotic sex toys near the door. Tom stepped straight past them.

There was a mattress in the props room, materials to build a bed, and you pondered on the idea for a moment.

“We could keep it really simple, maybe?” you suggested, “Find a warm background. Or just use white. Try and get one twenty minute shot, or something.”

You reached for lube without thought, collecting the near-empty bottle of body oil beside it too, as you perused the options in front of you.

“Remind me to buy more of that,” Tom mused, sparing a glance to the bottles in your arms before standing beside you to peruse the options.

You nodded silently, your free hand rifling through bagged silicone toys, slightly in a daze as you picked out a few options. There was a slight blush dusted across Tom’s high cheekbones as he turned to see your arms full of dildos. You smiled as it took him a second to find words, and wondered how the hell he’d chosen to start a porn studio in the first place.

“Colour co-ordinated,” he commented, and you smiled, picking out yet another pink toy from the pile.

“Naturally,” you smiled, “I think that’s everything? Could we drag a mattress and pillows out?”

He nodded silently, already moving to manoeuvre the double mattress leaning against a wall in the props room. You rolled your eyes before helping, knowing he was being a gentleman, or whatever he called it. You called it putting his back out.

He rejected your help, so you grabbed as many pillows as you could, following him back into the main studio, privately smiling at the dramatic grunts he made trying to move the mattress. He tossed it to the ground with a grunt, shoving it into the corner of the room, before pausing again.

You dropped everything down on to it, toys, lube, pillows and all.

And then both of you waited.

It was so strangely intimate, just the two of you in the room, the strange nature of your relationship weighing heavy after last night’s miscommunication. Suddenly there was nothing you wanted to do less than take your clothes off.

“White sheets?”

“Hm?” you hadn’t processed what Tom said, too wrapped up in your own world, frowning down at the bare mattress.

“I was thinking white sheets.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.”

He was off, assigned another task, and you almost envied his distraction as you slowly sorted the pillows how you wanted, gathered the toys absentmindedly. Before Tom came back from the props closet you made yourself scarce, catching sight of his slim outline through the doorway. Facing away from you as he rummaged.

In the single bathroom of the studio you cleaned anything that would be going inside of you, avoiding your reflection, trying to shake off the odd nervousness coursing through your veins.

Why? It had been years since you felt this way before a shoot. Before you’d met Tom, even. Sure, shoots could be exciting, exhilarating, intimidating, but this self-consciousness, this self-doubt… it had come from nowhere.

You pressed your forehead to the mirror, closing your eyes, breathing deeply. The tap running sounded like a waterfall, the silicone under your fingers felt alien, the air almost claustrophobic as you wondered what the hell was wrong with you.

Tom was done making the bed when you got back, frowning at his phone until he heard you re-enter the studio space, quick to look up and see if you were happy with his set. You felt hyper-aware of him, of every movement he made, a clean towel and toys cradled in one arm as you took in the space. It was a simple premise, just a clean fitted sheet pillows in a corner, a clear space for you in the middle. You knew it would look good on screen. You knew this was an easy job.

You felt sick to your stomach.

“Do you want to face the camera? Or kind of, not acknowledge it?” Tom asked, speaking again as you forgot to reply, too caught up in your own mind. “Maybe if you ignore it that’s more… voyeuristic?”

“Sounds good,” you responded, kneeling to prepare your space. This was autopilot, your day job. You could do this.

“Right.”

He sounded a little put out by your response, but moved the camera anyway, switching to a knee-height tripod. You stood, stepped back to give him space, and frowning at the sudden headrush. You blinked, catching yourself staring at the flex of his arms as he moved the heavy equipment. You didn’t realise how long you had been staring into space until Tom called your name a second time, crossing into your personal space.

“Are you okay?”

Tom’s voice was so soft you wanted to cry, fingers hovering beside your bicep, his gentle eyes demanding for you to meet them, daring for you to lie while his face is so close to yours.

Somehow, the guilt of his worry made you feel worse.

“No, I’m…I’m being stupid. Sorry, just tired.”

“Did you not sleep well?”

“No, I, uh, I slept fine. I’m not sure. Just not really feeling it.”

His face fell, but you knew he wasn’t disappointed in you. He thought he’d done something wrong. Immediately you were talking, doing anything you could to soften his guilt.

“It’s my job, though. I can do it. This is great Tom, I think it’ll be a good shoot.”

“Sweetheart –”

You sighed, eyes falling to the mattress, before forcing a smile.

“Let’s get this over with!”

He looked like he wanted to argue with you, but you forced yourself to move, pulled your feet from the floor with far more effort than it ought to take. There was some comfort in rummaging through your own bag, that piece of home, something private from the studio. You found the vibrator you’d brought, a pink bullet you used almost exclusively at home, fully charged that morning. Behind you, Tom snorted in amusement.

“Nothing here is ever charged,” you shrugged off his stare, knowing damn well you didn’t have to explain yourself.

You wanted to explain anyway though. Just in case, Tom thought anything he did wasn’t enough. He seemed perfectly fine with the criticism, though you knew he was making a mental note. He always did, then you had something to say.

Trying not to make a big deal out of it, you stripped to your underwear, folding your clothes neatly and being careful not to show any self-consciousness in your posture. You’d never been ashamed or embarrassed before now, and you weren’t about to start. Even if it was just you, and a very well, fully dressed Tom. Vibrator clutched in your fingers, you finally sat on the damn mattress.

He was the other side of the camera now, somehow both distant and a few feet away. You found yourself staring at your body in the monitor, just watching. Tom’s voice broke you out of yet another daze, and you wanted to pinch yourself. Why couldn’t you do it today?

“We don’t have to do this today, if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay I just… I forget it’s just us sometimes, you know? There’s such a production and so many people and at the end of the day…”

Tom smiled, a relief on his face that told you he had been feeling it too. That this was weird.

“I know what you mean. If you’re uncomfortable…”

“Just give me a second to warm up, we need to make something, after all.”

You stretched, not really sure why, moving a little around the nook Tom had created, shuffling pillows and practicing where you wanted to lie back, watching a monitor as Tom played with a soft lighting, twisting and turning to find the most flattering angles you could.

As he shuffled things around, Tom nodded to the spread of toys you’d set out. You’d added your vibrator to the pink line up, perfectly organised on the white towel.

“Do you want those in shot?”

You shrugged.

“Might be hot?”

He nodded silently. You moved the toys in to the frame, trying to blink away the cloud which had settled in your mind. The world felt foggy, your arms like they were moving through treacle, and you knew Tom had noticed.

As he prepared two directional microphones, you tried not to feel claustrophobic. The audio from the microphone he was pointing towards your pussy would be almost grotesque, and you fought not to shuffle further from it as you imagined Tom listening later, headphones in, as he balanced the levels between your moans and the wet sounds of you fucking yourself.

Fuck.

Why was this so different to a regular shoot?

You’d done solo shoots before. With Tom. And half-a-dozen other crew, you reminded yourself.

You caught sight of his curls above the monitor, face serious as he set everything up.

“Speak?”

“Testing, testing,” you spouted off nonsense until he offered you a thumbs up, happy with the audio.

Then there was nothing else to do.

He stood, looming over the equipment. And you looming over you.

“What’s the plan?” he asked, smiling at your frown. “You’re in charge here, I’m just the camera guy.”

You rolled your eyes, knowing he was trying to put you at ease.

“You’re the director,” you reminded him, knowing how he preened himself under the title.

You were impressed that his eyes had only roamed down your body once as he took in the shoot, glancing at the indulgent layout of toys, double checking the monitor, one headphone in. He had that stance he always adopted when he was directing, and you knew it was his favourite moment in any of this. The moment everything was pinned on him.

It happened so quickly you almost missed the moment he knelt down, blinking in surprise as his face remerged at your level beside the camera.

“Then my direction is: enjoy yourself. Forget I’m here. Let’s show them something real.”

He must have seen your shock, because it made him smile.

“Real?” you questioned, and he nodded firmly.

“I’m serious.”

For a beat, both of you were silent, his eyes meeting yours over the body of the camera.

“If you can,” he offered, “I understand it’s not always…”

You interrupted him with a hand, smiling your understanding of what he was saying, and dismissing it in one motion. The silence dragged on, and you decided to push this forwards. If you were done by lunch, Tom would probably insist on taking you somewhere nice.

“I don’t know if I should use – ” you ghosted a finger across the biggest toy, worrying a bottom lip between your teeth, “Simplicity might be key.”

“Do what you want, darling. What feels good.”

You nodded mutely, and for just a second you saw doubt flicker across his face. This was new territory, and even you weren’t sure if this was a step too far.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah. If I’m… actually… it might take a while. Let me know if I’m taking too long.”

“Take as long as you need, darling. I’ve got nowhere to be.”

Tilting your head at him a little, you realised abruptly just how intimate this was. Moreover, that you wanted it anyway. That you were about to make him watch you cum. Make him hear you, smell you. He couldn’t touch, but he could watch.

And that was enough for you to perform.

Tom gave you a countdown, red lights peppered your field of view, and he was recording. He had taken a seat on the floor behind the camera set up, one headphone in to monitor audio, waiting.

You stayed sat up, back arched a little as your hands began to caress you own body, keeping on eye on the monitor while your face was out of the shot. You rubbed along your thighs, across your stomach, teasing at the lace of your bra and the elastic of your underwear each time you passed them, trailing your fingertips. It didn’t really feel like anything, doing this to yourself, but you knew to tease the camera. Tom would cut out anything too slow.

Your gaze remained firmly on the screen as you began to make your touches firmer, more deliberate, dragging lines into your skin and flirting with the camera. You admired the soft skin of your breasts as you started to shift your bra, enjoying the stiffening of your nipples in the monitor until –

The screen went black, and you immediately glanced at Tom, frowning as you lost the visual of yourself. He met your questioning gaze sternly, eyebrows furrowed, and you remembered his direction.

“Enjoy yourself.”

With nothing left to look at you closed your eyes, feeling the blood rushing to the surface of your skin, the sensitivity of your breasts as your fingers idly danced across them. You shoved your bra down unthinkingly, wanting to feel more, rubbing at the heaviness of your breasts and wincing as you enjoyed the pleasure and pain of pinching at your nipples, teasing them to attention. You glanced your nails across them, feeling it in your core. You didn’t want to wait anymore. Fuck the cameras.

It was hard to let to, to stop the delicious feeling of your fingers on your own breasts, but you forced yourself to free one hand, shoving off the bra, desperate to feel yourself without it. You knew you were grimacing, it wouldn’t be sexy, but you didn’t care. That was Tom’s problem.

You needed to touch yourself.

One hand reached below the waistband of your underwear, seeking out your clit, guided by a familiar ache. It was all you could focus on, your other hand forgotten, cupping your breast, the sensation vague and lost as your fingers found your clit. The sensation overwhelmed you as you shifted the hood, your body beginning to produce wetness. The room was a little cold, the air relieving against the heat of your bare skin, making your nipples peak as you leant back into the nest of pillows behind you.

You felt your stomach tense, a bolt of electricity tensing the muscles up and down your body as you brushed across your clit a little too hard. Your middle finger probed your pussy experimentally, slipping inside of you, quickly joined by a second as you played with the wetness there.

One, two, three pumps of your fingers inside you was enough for you to gasp, your eyes still closed against the bright lights as focused on nothing but feeling. No more fucking around.

You reached for your vibrator, hand knocking against the thick silicone toy lined up beside it, writhing as you pressed it against the fabric covering your clit. You cycled through the settings as fast as you could, still desperate for more stimulation.

More. It was on the highest setting. You wanted more.

Without moving the vibrator you shoved your underwear off, huffing as you kicked them away, not caring where they landed. The tip of the toy nudged against your clit exquisitely, and you froze.

There.

There.

You thought about Tom watching you. The hot blood coursing through your body, the line up of toys just waiting to be shoved inside of you. The sensitivity of you clit as you held it against that perfect point. The air against your dripping, aching pussy. The muscles starting to clench, the rhythm of your body. Building, building, you didn’t fight the feeling.

This was what you wanted.

That warm familiarity of the vibrator on your clit, the runaway train of your thoughts, it was enough to drive you over the edge. You hadn’t realised the keening, groaning noises you were making until you heard them, pleasure leaving your lips as an afterthought.

You felt empty.

Blindly you reached out, sticky fingers finding the shaft of a toy you wanted, a smaller one you could take right now. A dollop of lube in the palm of your hand was all it would take, a few pumps of the toy enough to coat it, the excess lubricant smeared on the sheets. You didn’t care. Not your problem.

Without conscious thought, you were still rubbing yourself, two fingers absently making circles against your clit as you fidgeted to be able to take the dildo. You didn’t bother preparing yourself anymore. You were wet enough, and you wanted the stretch.

Needed it.

Needed to feel full.

You shoved the toy into yourself, gritted teeth and your spare hand grasping at your breast, giving the nipple a sharp pinch to interrupt the overwhelming feeling of that silicone pushing inside of you. Your walls were stretched open, a gasp reaching your ears as you felt a nudge against your cervix.

It wasn’t enough. You felt wild, desperate, as you sloppily pulled the toy from yourself and shoved it back in, clenching down and still needing more.

Your fingers found a larger toy, arousal and lubricant smearing across your body as you discarded the dildo which you had just been fucking yourself with, leaving it somewhere on the mattress, forgotten in favour of the bigger option. It was thick. Maybe, in your right mind, you wouldn’t have considered it. But instead you coated it in lube, squirting the clear liquid on to the tip and rubbing it down the toy, focusing on nothing but the need pulsing through your pelvis.

On the emptiness inside you, begging, pleading to be filled. It hurt, how much you wanted to be stretched out, to feel something pounding into you. You felt animalistic, desperate for anything. The last of your conscious thought was occupied by the need in your clit, the demand for friction, and you just didn’t have enough hands. It was impossible to think. When you finally sank down on the fake cock, leaning back, legs apart, gaze focused on nothing but your own swollen pussy, it was a relief. You gasped, then sighed, pushing another inch of the toy inside you. You felt stretched already, split in half, but you kept going. With each thrust, you took the silicone further inside of you until you felt the dull ache of the toy going too far.

Finally, that emptiness felt sated, and you stayed still, too stuffed to risk moving and too blissed out to care.

But you needed more.

Each bear down made the toy threaten to shift, and you didn’t have the brain power to thrust and pay attention to your aching clit. You moved gingerly, grabbing a pillow to straddle, holding the toy inside you as you hunted for your vibrator.

You couldn’t even lean too far to reach it, you were so full it ached. And it was delicious.

With the smooth plastic finally in your hand you leant back, ready to bring yourself to another orgasm. With a blink, you realised there was a tear tracking its way down your cheek, and you smiled to yourself.

And then you accidentally looked forwards. Your eyes met Tom’s. The camera. The lights. The switched off monitor.

You wanted to cry.

He was watching you directly, with those sharp blue eyes, one finger resting along his jawline, his usual calculating, wide stance replaced with one knee hugged to his chest as he sat on the concrete floor. He was watching you.

You. Stuffed full, straddling a pillow on the bed Tom had fucking made, covered in a mix of lube and your own arousal. That strange feeling from earlier came back full force.

God. He had seen you actually come. Without acting or cheesy lines or clever angles to hide the worst of your O-face. You could pretend to come, tell your male co-stars what a good time you’d had, follow direction, anything. But this was too real. And it was just you and Tom. In the corner of a huge studio, bright lights and cameras and –

Had he called cut? You wouldn’t have heard. Did he realise you’d lost control? That you had forgotten you were supposed to be acting and been so desperate and –

“You’re doing amazing.”

You smiled at him weakly, gasping as the toy inside you nudged your cervix as you fidgeted. You didn’t realise that you were awaiting direction until he spoke.

“Another one?”

His voice was a little throatier than usual, though you supposed he’d been quiet for a while. His eyes kept drifting from your face, and you wondered if he felt as uncomfortable as you did.

You nodded silently, closing your eyes, listening to the increasing pitch of the vibrator as you turned it up to its maximum setting.

The minutes stretched on as your orgasm built, little raises and falls of your hips accompanying that insistent buzz of your favourite vibrator, the toy inside you starting to ache as it stretched you apart. It was impossible to forget that Tom was watching you now. That his piercing gaze was on you. As a matter of professionalism, you tried to avoid looking up. You ignored the camera, fucked your body in the way you knew it would respond to, only half-faking it as you came a second time.

You moaned and groaned and gave the camera an indulgent few seconds of overstimulation, the vibrator pushed against your clit to make you writhe and shake. You pulled yourself off the dildo in a mess of arousal, played with yourself, showing off how stretched out you were.

Fingers swirling in the arousal inside of you, you sighed in relief when Tom called, “cut.”

Dropping the toy, you pulled your legs together, ignoring him for a second as you took deep breaths. Taking stock of your body, the residual pleasure and pain and stickiness. A lot of stickiness.

Tom took pity on you, shifting a softbox so you had a clear path out of the corner you were hemmed into.

“Go and have a shower,” he told you, the most softly-spoken command you’d ever heard.

Nonetheless, you followed orders. On weak legs, you indulged in as long as shower as you dared, cleaning up and then just… waiting. Trying to avoid the real world. When you finally opened the door, wrapped in a robe, you found your clothes folded outside. Tom was nowhere to be seen, but you thanked the universe for him anyway.

When you re-emerged you were fully dressed and feeling a lot more like yourself again. And, actually, quite proud of yourself. Tom’s busyness told you everything had been recorded properly, equipment moved and the mattress bare, leant against the wall.

“All good?” you asked, more to announce your presence than anything. He stopped moving, offering you a gentle smile.

“Perfect! I think it’ll be great. Do you want to go get lunch somewhere? To celebrate?”

Predictable as anything. The thought made your heart swell with fondness for him, his head tilt and excitement, his strange place here.

“I think I’ll just go home,” you tried to smile apologetically, but you could still feel the ache inside you, the dull oversensitivity of your clit against your underwear.

The embarrassment and excitement fighting in the fit of your stomach.

Tom nodded, clear understanding on his face. He held the door for you on the way out.

“Are you coming in tomorrow?” he asked, quietly, like you might run off if he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

*

Your bedroom fell silent as the vibrator stopped, the battery finally flat. You whined in disappointment, desperate for another orgasm. Your fingers replaced it instantly, rubbing, desperately pulling more wetness from the arousal weeping from you, but you were too oversensitive.

Panting, vision blurry, your thighs aching, you blinked away tears. You glanced at the nightstand. Tom hadn’t text you.

*

When you woke up the next morning your phone was dead. You’d forgotten to charge it last night, and leaving it in your room to charge offered a strangely peaceful morning. You had a few hours before you would be expected at the studio, and no work to do before then.

You indulged in spending time getting ready for the day, making a decent breakfast, doing a few chores you’d been putting off.

Processing what had happened yesterday.

In the clear light of day, you wondered if you ought to be embarrassed for the way you’d completely lost yourself at the shoot. The more you thought about it, the more you thought about it, the more you rationalised at you’d just followed Tom’s direction. Done what he’d asked. It had been intense, for sure, but you’d done what he’d asked. If anything you regretted the moment he’d had to speak, losing your nerve. You hoped he didn’t want pick-up shots today, you weren’t sure your body could take any more.

You thought about the night before, clearing up the scattered clothes and charging the vibrator you’d left strewn beside your bed, more ashamed of the images which had been conjured by your overactive imagination in the late-night privacy of your bedroom. You hated that everything you imagined was involved blue eyes. Distinctive curls. Pulling buttons from smart shirts and kissing along sharp cheekbones. Poor Tom. He didn’t need you overstepping that mark. And yet when you had closed your eyes, imagined you were under those lights again, all you could imagine was Tom. His creative gaze. Listening to the smoothness his voice leant to everything he said as he instructed you even more intimately than usual.

As you switched your phone back on, you forced the thoughts from your mind. They couldn’t follow you to the studio. The two of you had built something good. Something successful. The studio was doing well, you were both saving money away for the future, building your brands. You couldn’t screw that up now by imagining him like that. He trusted you. You trusted each other. Relied on one another.

You wondered if he ever fucked other actresses.

[queerlennon]

Lesley-Ann Jones Is Untrustworthy

So I’ve seen some people in the fandom reading and citing Lesley-Ann Jones’ biography The Search For John Lennon recently and to be honest it’s concerning to me. Lesley Ann Jones has proved in the past to be an extremely untrustworthy source for info about the people she writes about. I understand that it’s exciting to have a book about John that’s not written by the typical “Lennon biographer” type (aka an ageing straight man) and for said book to also promise to shed light and focus on his bisexuality but, if we’re going to analyse John respectfully and accurately, it’s important to identify sources that are biased and untrustworthy, even if they’re technically within our favour. Especially when it relates to his queerness. And seeing as LAJ doesn’t have the best record when it comes to writing about rockstars’ sexualities in a respectful manner, it’s best to treat her words with caution.

Info about exactly how she’s a bad source is under the cut

Firstly, it's key to talk about LAJ's journalistic background when discussing what sort of writer she is: she's worked for papers such as The Sun, The Daily Mail, and The Mail On Sunday. Essentially, the bulk of her work has been for tabloids and traditionally the writing style for those kinds of publications place an emphasis on sensationalism and gossip. Now obviously that doesn’t discredit her work immediately, authors are usually able to write in more than one style so it doesn’t necessarily mean the tabloid style is going to carry over to her biographies; but it’s good to keep in mind when discussing and analysing the legitimacy of the narratives she creates and the stories she recounts in her work. 

LAJ has received criticism in the past, particularly from the queen fandom of often overexaggerating, or just straight presenting false information in her bios about Freddie Mercury. She is the champion of the claim that Freddie was bisexual and not gay. Her evidence for this is over-exaggerating and (seemingly intentionally) misinterpreting the nature of the relationship between Freddie and his friend, Barbara Valentin. LAJ claimed that the two had a relationship and even lived together:

“Barbara was very open with me about the sexual relationship she had with Freddie.”

(x)

(x)

However, no-one in Freddie’s life has ever corroborated that Freddie and Barbara were anything but friends. As for the claim they lived together, according to Peter Freestone, an extremely close friend of Freddie’s:

In the event, Freddie never actually lived there although Barbara fulfilled a huge role in Freddie’s life at that time... Freddie became very disillusioned when with more and more frequency articles were appearing in the German press’s gossip columns... about the relationship between him and Barbara... After one article claiming to have knowledge of him and Barbara getting married, Freddie... concluded that it could only be Barbara who was providing the information.

(x)

This exaggeration of their relationship and the insistence LAJ has on presenting Freddie as bi because of it has attracted criticism from queen fans for obvious reasons. For one, it’s borderline homophobic to essentially lie about a gay man having a relationship with a woman while downplaying his relationships with men. No, she’s not portraying him as a straight man, however it’s still erasure of the specific struggles Freddie would’ve faced being a gay man in his time, therefore those who want to analyse him would be missing some of the picture when trying to understand him and his life

LAJ’s research methods are also... questionable. This is a post from Crystal Taylor (one of Roger Taylor’s roadies) about her methods for her David Bowie bio which, if to be believed is particularly concerning.

(x)

LAJ is also known to greatly exaggerate her own relationships with her subjects. She often claims to have been friends with the people she writes bios about (coincidently the people she does this with are dead.) Back in the day she would meet with artists while on tour so the idea is convincing enough. However besides her word there’s nothing to suggest that she had close friendships with Freddie or Bowie, two people she claimed to be good friends with. There’s also this comment from Brian May which actually goes against the idea that she was close with Freddie:

(x)

So with all of this in mind, let’s look at the quote from The Search For John Lennon that’s been circulating around Beatles tumblr:

That Bowie worshipped Lennon is no secret. He'd banged on about it often enough. The ex-Beatle had gone to his hedonism. They'd met in Los Angeles, during John's Lost Weekend. I lunched from time to time with David in New York while working there as a music journalist, before he married Iman. He lent me his house in Mustique, to write the first draft of my first biography on Freddie Mercury.

The crazy pair went out to play, according to David, when John was on yet another break from May and far away from Yoko. They genderbender-ed about, John indulging again that 'inner fag' of his. What larks.

They later 'hooked up': 'There was a whore in the middle, and it wasn't either of us,' David smirked. 'At some point in proceedings, she left. I think it was a she. Not that we minded.' By the time they made it back to New York, the ambisextrous pair were 'lifelong friends'.

I’m suspicious of this story for several reasons but first I want to make it clear that none of them have to do with John having sex with men or being bisexual. I’m a very firm believer of John’s bisexuality (my username is literally queerlennon lmao) but once again I think it’s good to examine the legitimacy of sources, even when they favour our position.

Firstly, LAJ’s source for this story is the claim that David told her, which considering I can’t find any info about them being friends besides her word, combined with the fact that she’s lied about having close relationships in the past raises a lot of flags.

But even if we assume LAJ isn’t lying and did know Bowie, the quote is still suspect, particularly the line “John was on yet another break from May and far away from Yoko.” According to May in her book Loving John, her and John had only one break from their relationship (the phrase “yet another break” implies multiple) that lasted a week, and for the entirety of that week, John was with Yoko. (x)

Finally, the language LAJ uses to describe John and David’s sexualities not only puts me on edge but very much makes me question her intention. Phrases like “the genderbender-ed about,” “indulged his ‘inner fag,’” and “ambisextrous,” all come across to me as fetishisation. Bisexuality is already very highly fetishised and sexualised and LAJ is most definitely not concerned with deviating from that representation. That phrasing combined with the way she also discusses Freddie’s sexuality, where she’s alleged highly sexualised claims about him having threesomes:

And quite often that involved other people as well. Other men, other women. There would be a number of them in the bedroom at any given time. In fact they were raided by the police once and the police stormed in and they found more people than they were expecting to find in the bed that morning.

(x)

— leads me to believe that LAJ is an author less concerned with exploring John’s sexuality as apart of his life, something that made him who he was, and more concerned with including details about “bisexual threesomes” as shock value, as a sensational point she can use to to promote her book in press tours and interviews. Like a tabloid writer. And this sort disrespect representation of John’s queerness, imo isn’t that much better than the biographers who dismiss or underplay it. I totally understand that for a lot of us, finding out new info about John’s queer identity is exciting, especially for those of us who are queer and identify with a lot with John for that reason, myself included. But we shouldn’t be giving credence and legitimacy to someone who firstly, isn’t trustworthy and secondly who’s reason for talking about it is gross and exploitative at best and biphobic at worst.

tl;dr, LAJ is an incredibly untrustworthy source of info and in her own over exaggerations, treats discussions of queerness in an extremely problematic and exploitive way so please take anything you read from her with a massive grain of salt.