#while trying to maintain friendships
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Guys this week has been more exhausting than Iāve experienced in a WHILE.
#like obviously the funeral and everything#but also#Iāve been working more than normal to make up hours#while trying to maintain friendships#Iāve had a lot to do with TikTok shutting down#both content and also housekeeping#Iām not getting enough sleep#also the dsmp drama is crazy#itās almost over luckily#but God Damn It#I mayhaps agreed to wake up at 6 am tomorrow to alter a dress for a coworker#and then work a double at two different jobs#Iām about to go insane I can feel it#the croakerverse#the muppet joker
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Thinking abt how Sandro sits in a very childish way (legs crossed rocking back and forth, open, vulnerable) and how Sand (carefree) sits with his knees up to his chin, sometimes hiding his face IN his knees, and wraps his arms around his legs. Protected. Cautious. An attempt at comfort.
Thinking abt how that shows their personalities and relationships. Thinking so badly abt my sons.
#its sorta bittersweet that both of them have this huge feeling of wanting to be loved and helpful to their family#but og sandro chose to try to become a second leo because he saw how loved leo was and how helpful he is#so he dropped everything else in hopes that he could be as loved and helpful ā while also being so wholesomely trusting of everyone around#him. to the point of befriending villains - scary strangers - people he SHOULDNT. bc he hasnt figured out danger in the real world Yet#whereas Carefree resisted the temptation to become a different person and instead sought to help each of his brothers INDIVIDUALLY in a way#that was calculated. He saw how stressed raph was getting being the big brother raising them and decided to adopt the big brother role too-#-but in a ātoo good to be trueā way. he became the calmest and most assured and confident person in their family so that he can shoulder#the big brother responsibilities and raph can relax (WHICH WORKS.)#but when you want your little brothers to see you as nothing but the most reliable source in their life ā¦ u cant let them see certain#things. u cant let them see you cry or tell them your fears or talk about feelings beyond good ones and its isolating#he ONLY talks to raph about those things and its not often ā but its enough that raph is his comfort source.#and it also fucks w carefreeās ability to maintain meaningful friendships and relationships ā its why ivy broke up with him. twice.#sandro oc#sandro rottmnt#carefree sandro#rottmnt sandro
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regarding the previous post i made
#yea the two ppl following me should be aware of who the blue guy is#blue guy names is larry btw#teehee funny hippie man and stotic guy with a cynical view on life#might write about my thoughts on this later#but i wanna say while there might be A Thing going on between these two#they're not exactly romantic#i can see clive trying to maintain a distance between people due his past experiences and the last time he was close to someone it ended#horribly (rags) ((note i see them having a close friendship before fell apart due to her quest to kill god))#larry i imagine when he was alive he had a few casual relationships but never got serious with anyone#so he's not really sure what to do and just behaves like his usual self#but they're fine with not labeling themselves anything#they can just be two people who really like each other and thats fine by them#also if i make stuff about these two just know im not putting it in the tags lol#man this my blog i should write more of my bo ocs#okay one final thing clive isnt all for pda#but you definately notice that he's standing closer to larry than anyone else#and might even put a hand on his shoulder or around his waist if he's feeling bold
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you know im realizing now. with the exception of a few resident psychiatrists, ive had like. no good experiences with mental health professionals
#most recent occurance is eating my brain alive right now because I feel just so. degraded and offended by how she chose to evaluate me#I wonāt get into it because it will make me spiral even more and get angrier and more overwhelmed but tldr she didnāt acknowledge#anything I said about my symptoms both out loud and via written test. chose to ignore or dismiss anything that came from me#as if I couldnāt be trusted to recount my own experiences and feelings. also did not take into account that I am an adult and thus have Had#to learn to mask and shit so while she brushed off So Much Shit because i seemed (in the three hours she met/saw me)#functional Enough. thatās only becuaee I put in a Lot of effort every day to do so. and that effort does not last forever#and of course because. like I said Iām an adult. Iāve been yelled at Iāve been punished Iāve been put through courses and#through the ringer of Society in general to the point where I mimic Normal Person Behavior at least somewhat decently when im prepared to do#so. she treated me like a child and didnāt acknowledge most of my major issues. ignored me when I said I donāt avoid social situations out#of fear/anxiety I avoid them because it takes a lot of energy for me to mask and try and read people and act accordingly#and in her report suggested generalized anxiety. part of the reason I was there is because anxiety HASNT ever properly described my#avoidant behavior.#and just. yeah I said I wouldnāt get into it but here we are. this always happens#itās just eating at me because I keep realizing more and more things she just fucking disregarded. literally wrote that I ālisted many#relevant symptomsā and kept it at that. did not actually give those symptoms any validity. basically just implied I was listing things#just. becuase?#some shit was just blatantly wrong like claiming that I have a variety of interests when I told her outright that I can only be interested#in one specific interest at a time- example being the entirety of last year being only interested in One (1) video game. and this is to such#an extent that itās difficult to make and maintain friendships because I have no interest in anything else but that One Thing for however#long and wonāt care about other things people try to get me into in order to have something in common with me or whatever or just. yeah.#issues.#she didnāt acknowledge the issues I have with low empathy or overstimulation. didnāt acknowledge my history of taking things literally to#such an extent that it has caused problems with people. didnāt acknowledge anything that was self-reported and not being displayed in that#moment right in front of her eyes. itās just. really really disappointing and. yeah degrading honestly#especially because it took months upon MONTHS to get this fucking appointment#and to just be not listened to and dismissed.#anyway. yeah Iāve also just only ever had really shallow relationships with therapists (at best)#and have never felt helped by them or like they ever put in much effort to try to Get to me so to speak. only my psychiatrists have#been open minded and Listened to me. but they were always residents so theyād leave in a year or so. I donāt have one at this point.#kibumblabs
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hello. took a pause from rereading enneagram books to throw up blood abt her again...
#lesbian situationship but entirely one sided and she doesnt even rmb i exist anymore probably#i throw up blood every time i see her schl. which is basically everyday since our schls are like. one building away from each other#TRIED to reconnect and text her but its so abundantly clear she moved on and i have not crossed her mind#its FINE i GET IT people drift apart this is what happens when your friendship was just u trying to be close to her all the time while not#knowing HOW to maintain friendship. especially after you guys spilt off into different classes bc shes incredibly smart and u. rnt. and its#no longer possible to follow her for lunch. take the bus home with her. etc. and you never even SEE each other in schl bc different schdls#and you guys have never really texted bc. youre incredibly bad at texting and she didn't text either. so.#I GET IT. its NORMAL that the friendship has to fade out.#i should just MOVE ON.#im going to kick my sofa out my house window#(its been two years since we were properly friends.)#ughhhh#ennea posting
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anyone mind if i lyricpost. THE FLOOR CAVED IN AND I'M BATHED IN MY SINS THIS RAGE WITHIN'S FINNA BREAK MY SKIN. BINGE TO SLOW THESE RAGING WINDS, THIS STAIN ON MY BRAIN CANNOT BE CLEANSED, DEAR GOD IF YOU REALLY MEANT HOLD THAT SHIT, LOVE ME FOR WHAT I AM I REFUSE TO REPENT TO A MAN OF OMNISCIENCE. AND IF YOU DON'T GET IT MOTHERFUCKER YOU'RE NOT HIP, AIN'T PIERCED MY SKIN IN GOOD TIME, THAT'S A WIN, MY MOTHER'S GLAD THAT I'M NOT DEAD, THAT'S A WIN I DON'T NEED TO LISTEN TO YOUR UNTETHERED OPINION. SCORCHING HOT TAKES ON THE MORALITY OF MEN WITH YOUR PERSONAL SPIN, I WILL DO WHAT I MUST FUCK WHAT YOU THINK IF YOU'RE INTIMIDATED BY GREATNESS GO AHEAD SHRINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#text#WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT MOLLY? WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THE DRINK? DON'T SAY YOU FEEL ME UNTIL YOU'RE DANGLED FROM THE BRINK#WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ANXIETY AND NEVERENDING RIVALRY WITH EVERY LEGENDARY IDOL WHILE YOUR MIND IS SPINNING WILDLY?#PSYCHOSIS DONT STRIKE WHEN THE TIMINGS NICEā SENDS YOUR MOTHER INTO FRIGHT AND STRETCHES YOUR FRIENDSHIP TIGHT#DEPRESSION DOESN'T DEIGN DEPTH IT MAKES YOU NOT WANNA WRITEā ANXIETY IS NOT CUTE IT MAKES YOU SCARED FOR YOUR LIFE#I AM OVERCOME WITH INSECURITY AND SPITEā ALIENATING CLOSE CONFIDANTS TO QUELL TRAITS THAT I DON'T EVEN LIKE#I TRY TO QUIT THE BOOZE FEEL PRETENTIOUS YELL SIKE SPEAK A SENTENCE YELL SIKE#SHE TELLS ME IM PRECIOUS EVEN IF I DON'T IMPRESS HER YELL SIKE#IT NEVER GOES AWAY IT NEVER EVER GETS TO FADE#I CAN DO THE PRETTY FACEā I HAVE LEARNED HOW TO WAKEā I HAVE LEARNED HOW TO MOVE AT A HUMANOID PACE#MAINTAIN THIS DAM SO IT NEVER QUITE BREAKS I HAVE NO CHOICE IT'S DEATH OR THE CHASE#I CAN NOT GO TO WASTE I NEED TO CREATE I WANNA BE OKAY BUT I NEED TO BE GREAT!!!!!!!!!!#YOU WANNA BE COOL? YOU WANNA KNOW SOMEBODY? I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PARTY.#WANNA LOSE YOUR FRIENDS? YOU WANNA KNOW NOBODY? I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PARTY#YOU WANNA FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOT IN YOUR BODY? I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PARTY.#YOU WANNA FEEL PEACE ONLY WHEN YOU'RE ON MOLLY? I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PARTY.#YOU WANNA NEVER ONCE FEEL PRIDE IN YOUR WORK? I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PARTY.#YOU WANNA NEVER BE ABLE TO QUENCH YOUR THIRST? I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PARTY#YOU WANNA SPEND LIFE DECORATING YOUR HEARSE? I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PARTY.#YOU WANNA BE SPECIAL? WANNA BEAR THIS CURSE? I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PARTY!!!!!#X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#um wellt hat was the whole rest of the song sorry#lyricsposting
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IRL dnd friend is gonna see if he can get me in his dnd since I am currently dnd-less
Crossing Fingers
#speculation nation#may or may not work out. we'll see.#id Love to have it tho. i miss dnd.#also fhskfhj the fucking ridiculousness of having an irl friend i dont fucking hang out with#I DO HAVE A FRIEND!!!! i say as i never hang out with anyone ever#listen online friendships r just so much easier to maintain hfkdhfj#but he comes into my work & we chat while i make his drink#aka how i made a friend in the first place#im. kind of a genuine loser irl lmfao. thats ok tho#i Really should try to hang out with him more. for my mental health.#also having at least one in person friend would be good for me#(šššššš)#lmao anyways heres hoping. id love 2 have dnd with ppl actually near me. We'll See!
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the worst thing about that poly relationship i was vaguing about- is how willing i was to let any and all romance fall to the side for their little romance plot to be fullfilled and very "story book" or whatever, was literally trying to push him to be more romantic with the meta, I was already falling out of love with the dude involved anyways bc he just was not capable of being what I needed, I was perfectly content JUST being friends but nah. even thats too much of a threat. theres still too much of a possibility of him conceivably leaving that person for me or some shit I guess, even though I DONT FUCKING WANT HIM LIKE THAT ANYMORE.
#like god fucking damn get a grip you insecure fuck.#a deeply insecure and controlling person i dont have the time for#trying to maintain a friendship with the guy involved isnt worth it when i know this fuck is just like latched to his back watching#his every move and wanting to know every little thing so they can feed him their own narrative about how im Secretly Bad And Evil And#You Need To Avoid Snake Bc Hes So Totally Bad !!!#wonder if you even went as far as to dig up some dirt on me to justify to yourself trying to exclude me. wouldnt surprise me.#you seem like the type of far leftist to do that kind of weird shit.#you specifically have made me so incredibly disillusioned with the left. congrats.#not that you care now that you have your sugar daddy to do everything you want for you.#not that he cares bc all he wants is a mommy who will cook and clean for him and never challenge him on shit in a meaningful way#and someone who will enable the worst traits in him and never push him to aspire to be more. enjoy your life.#i was really cheering for you guys. but for some reason you thought it necessary to shit on me while you were coming together.#for reasons i cant fucking fathom besides you being just such a deeply insecure fucker.#so have fun. and you too can pretend you can fill my ecological niche but my good bitch we both know you cant bye.#LOTS of ppl think they can replace me and its very very funny to me.#you're right. im not as much of a mommy as you. i dont want to be though. i actually like to challenge people to be more.#have fun with your Totally Not Monogamous Relationship.
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thank god for youtube music letting me listen to music while in a phone call unlike spotify
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#like i definitely need therapy lol#not that i havent tried in the past nothings just worked/stuck like the therapists werent a good fit for me perhaps#so im trying to reach out again because holy shit#i want to a) get out of my phd and b) have normal fucking friendships#but its so hard right now when anxious thoughts take over SO much some days like i know i cannot do this on my own#i have good friends i know who will hear me out#but man its the same thing over and over again with me but in a new font sometimes i swear#and my friends dont need to hear all those anxious depressive thoughts lol like#once in a while sure esp my closer friends but all the time? nawr#i have been trying to journal but man the emotions just bubble up and i dont feel better until ive like said things out loud#so honestly just having someone to rant about the same issues over and over again might be nice lol .#but i need to find a therapist that fits which is the hardest part#i do think ive made small strides on my own which is nice#but the emotions are just so loud and genuinely affect my day to day like its so hard battling things on my own#im at the point now where im like this cant go on for much longer somethings gotta change#if i want to have a phd in the next year and if i want to maintain friendships normally#and esp if i wanna stay roommates with this girlie cuz holy shit its been a lot harder than i expected maybe#i dont think i can do it on my own without major reprecussions#bro its also been like so long#i feel like ive always had some human i was extremely fond of for the past ?? years albeit most of them were like fake right like in the kp#*kpop world so it was fine when it becomes a real person it is absolutely terrible let me tell u .#but its also been a habit like i didnt realize how terrible my thoughts w ys were until now cuz they really wernet normal thoughts at all#like i want to break free of having these kind of attachments to people in a way cuz the only way i feel like ive been able to deal with bi#feelings is by transferring them to a new subject which isnt what i want anymore#like i just want it all to stop!#i also feel like mentally ive gotten worse ?? than before ?? in some ways like#i dont know if i want to make new friends and connections anymore#the same way i was trying so hard in the previous year which is worse bc now my efforts are like#SOLELY on this one girl in a way which is NOT. GOOD.#ive been trying to have conversations with the third roommate but i have to force myself?
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I feel so fucking pathetic on how badly I crave connection but I'll never get it
#its getting significantly harder for me to maintain friendships even though I'm really trying#people just seem to drift away from me so easily which i know is just life but#reaching out to people and putting myself out there with no reply is getting disappointing#or when people will tell me i miss you/we should hang out and then never pit in the effort to make time#im not expecting anyone to be my best friend but god if someone just wanted hang out or chat with me once in a while#and I really feel like meeting new people is basically impossible as well
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i hate you | lhs
pairing: best friend's brother!heeseung x fem!reader genres: fluff, humor, smut wc: 10.7k+
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warnings ź± : lots of swearing, arguments, mention of drinking, parties. reports of sex scenes, oral sex (f. receiving), unprotected sex (use caution and protection).
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synopsis ź± : you and your best friend's brother hated each other, almost as a matter of course between the two of you. but something changes when you wake up in his bed at the weekend.
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notes ź± : i think this story has been in my subconscious for so long, idk why it took me so long to write it. it smells a lot like heeseung to me, so nothing was more fitting than doing it for him. i hope you like it!
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masterlist ź±
The rule of life is clear when you have a best friend and she has an older brother. Either you fall in love with him, or you don't get along with him and you both hate each other. In your case, more specifically, the second option would fit like a perfect glove. It was like a combo in your background to be best friends with Dahyun, and hate Heeseung, her brother. Not that you'd do it alone, he contributed to every ounce of your body boiling with rage for him.
As if he had been born to unleash the purest feeling of rage in your heart just by entering the room and breathing. But it wasn't as if you nurtured that alone either. Heeseung had the same great anger towards you because, according to him, it was because of you that Dahyun stopped being the innocent little girl she was.
It wasn't a good excuse compared to the times he'd taken you seriously. Still, even so, Heeseung felt angry just being in your presence and knowing that you went to his house and he couldn't do anything but make you angry until he heard you swear at him or try to throw something in his direction. Dahyun was the balance bridge to try to maintain an ounce of harmony between the two of you while you were all together, although it was almost impossible to maintain a pleasant atmosphere whenever you and Heeseung were in the same environment. Which was practically all day long.
There wasn't a single moment when you could get rid of him or he of you, because unfortunately ā or fortunately ā you were Dahyun's best friend. You met her before you even knew that your best friend had a completely asshole brother. He swore that Dahyun having a friendship would be a quiet thing because she was never one to have many friends. Heeseung would be lying to say that he wasn't looking forward to meeting the first person his younger sister had befriended after entering university.
He just didn't expect you to be introduced to him when Dahyun had her first binge at the frat party, with you holding her hair and introducing yourself as her best friend.
So it's this crazy girl who's my sister's friend? Heeseung's anger may have started first, but you certainly felt it more intensely as the months went by.
Heeseung always found you with Dahyun at insane moments, like the pool party where you lent your best friend your most revealing bikini. That night you threw him into the pool because you two argued, but before you could regret it, he pulled you in with him, getting you wet before you could show off your hours of hard work to maintain the beautiful, wavy hair that took so long to make.
War had been declared, and at every party you and Heeseung attended, something always happened to emphasize how the two of you couldn't stay on the same radar and in the same environment for so long.
Not this last time.
The remnants of last night invaded your mind like a little dream, where you knew it was far from a fantasyland. Friday night was party day at some frat house or at some rich person's house who could afford to buy drinks for a bunch of horny, partying college kids. You and Dahyun always went together, because at the end of the night, you would sleep at her house. And of course that happened. You just didn't expect to be in another Lee's bed.
You took a deep breath after you realized what had happened, remembering the exact moment when you argued with Heeseung. Nothing new for the two of you. But that night something seemed different about the way you and he argued about absolutely everything, like the amount of drink he poured himself. Or how you had accepted a drink from a guy who had handed you a glass because he was going to play and didn't want to drink anymore, Heeseung had scolded you for being reckless and, even if you were, if that had made him angry, then you had done the right thing.
But why were his eyes dark and shiny when he cornered you in the kitchen to swear at you? And why did you lean too far towards him when he tried to take the glass from your hand? The reason was canonized at that moment, with you wrapped in Heeseung's sheets.
The memory of his lips pressing down hard on yours to shut you up, your body almost turning to porridge when he softened to kiss you properly. And why on earth did you give in? Why did you kiss him back looking like you needed it? Your mind knew you did, but never, under any circumstances, would the two of you say that that need was blatant and that you were both waiting for what had happened.
Your thoughts were soon interrupted when a weight slid around your waist. His arms wrapped around you and pulled you close. You effortlessly felt Heeseung's chest pressing against your back. Your whole body stiffened for a few seconds but relaxed ā without any explanation ā when his hand rested on your stomach and his breath hit the back of your neck.
That breath you felt against your lips after he kissed you, as he whispered one last curse when he took you to his car and then brought you to his house. Heeseung's breath against your skin with every touch he made, with every kiss, sent shivers down your spine. You didn't want to think about the effects he had caused in just one night, while all those months later the only thing you felt for him was anger and disgust. But no, last night it was anything but that that you felt for each other.
You began to wonder how you were going to get out of there. Or worse, how you were going to bump into Dahyun and explain to her that, strangely enough, you had ended up in her brother's bed. It couldn't have been an accident because neither of you got drunk enough to blame it on alcohol, so what? What would you say when asked why you slept with Heeseung?
An involuntary sigh left your lips when he moved again, pressing you a little closer and nestling his face in the crook of your neck. Inhaling all your scent as if it were normal and he'd done it a million times before.
āIt's not possible that you're actually doing thisā your voice came out without thinking, not at all cordial or subtle as he continued to inhale your scent. You wanted to curse yourself even more as soon as you heard Heeseung's morning laugh. Rude, low, a real sin for your poor body that was processing everything that was still going on.
āWhat? I don't even get a good morning?ā he asked in the same tone as the laugh and every word coming out of his mouth was truly a sin. You'd seen Heeseung after waking up countless times, but it wasn't as if you saw him seconds later as was happening now. Usually, it was a while later, his voice was normal at least, although his face was puffy from sleep and his hair slightly mussed. But it was nothing compared to what you were hearing at that moment.
āYou're an idiot, you little shitā your hand went over his hand that was still on your stomach, trying to pull it away āI hate you, now let me go.ā
As expected, Heeseung did the opposite of what you asked. Pulling you closer to him and, with the strength he was holding you with, he managed to turn you around and make your body face him.
āYou hated moaning my name last nightā he smiled with half-lidded eyes āNow why are you playing hard to get?ā there was the Heeseung you remembered hating, even though he was so hot in a sleepy, lazy way. You held back with your hands to pull his face in and kiss him, messing up his hair even more and getting lost in those lips that were claimed as yours last night.
āBecauseāā your voice died right there, you had no answer to that. You didn't know why you were playing hard to get after having slept with him of your own free will.
The victorious smile on Heeseung's lips made you slap his chest, feeling the skin beneath your fingers. Remembering how you touched him and how he felt every shiver go through him every time your fingers slid across him and interspersed with your nails. Heeseung knew that some part of his body was marked by you, but he honestly didn't care.
Your eyes rolled down as soon as you noticed that he was shirtless, looking under the covers as much as you could. He wasn't wearing anything over it and didn't even seem to care about covering his chest when your eyes locked on the spot, your hands still gripping his chest ready to slap it again in case any silly jokes were made. But your face heated up when you noticed that, if he wasn't wearing a T-shirt, you were wearing his.
Heeseung noticed the way you recorded it all, and although it was amusing, he remembered how hot you had looked after putting on his T-shirt to sleep. With nothing underneath, just his clothes covering the curves of your body that he touched, kissed, and marked. And he'd be a dead man if he confessed that he wanted to do it all over again.
āYou didn't like wearing my shirt?ā he asked, breaking the silence that had settled between the two of you āJust take it off, I remember you're not wearing anything underneath anyway.ā
āI hate you!ā you let out a shriek, hitting him in the chest again before pulling the covers off your body so you could get out of bed in search of your clothes.
āRight, if it makes you sleep better at night, then I hate you tooā he muttered, rolling his body across the bed to lie where you had been seconds before. Secretly smelling your scent on his pillow, as you searched for your clothes on his bedroom floor at that moment.
Hearing about the fine line between modern and contemporary art history was wonderful for you, one of your favorite classes. The grace with which the professor explained it so passionately, highlighting important points that you made a point of writing down in your notebook with a lilac-colored pen that Dahyun had lent you at the beginning of the class. It took up most of your thoughts from the moment you arrived on campus, taking your focus away from the fact that a few days ago you were lying on Heeseung's bed. And now you were sitting next to his sister sharing one of your classes.
Your thoughts traveled to another subject nowā¦ Did Dahyun know that you and Heeseung had had sex? It wouldn't be something to hide from your best friend, having heard from her a few times that the two of you had some kind of repressed hard-on. Of course, that made you and Heeseung even angrier, but it turned out to be true last weekend.
Dahyun was right, after all, and you didn't want her to be. Or did you?
āY/nā she called your name in a whisper, making you turn your head to face her āThe boys are waiting for us in the study room, do you want to go now or do you want to stop by for coffee?ā
Back to the normal schedule where you would have to live with Heeseung and try to put aside what had happened between the two of you. Or at least try to. Carry on with your routine and chores and not pay attention to him like you always did.
Class ended and you felt your body dragging alongside Dahyun through the corridors to the campus cafeteria. It wasn't a long way, but dividing your energy between the class and the thoughts that flooded your mind had left you tired. The salted caramel coffee you always ordered might have some effect on your body right now.
And you were more than right.
After paying for the drink and some treats, the straw rolled around your lips as you sipped the drink that was your comfort. You could hear Dahyun's laughter every time the taste of coffee impregnated your tongue and you moaned with satisfaction. The whole way to the study room was filled with these moments that the two of you shared as you sipped your drinks and tried to balance the takeaway bags.
āAm I seeing a mirage or did you bring food?ā Jay almost knelt to thank you and Dahyun when you entered the study room.
āAre you guys hungry or something?ā she asked, stepping in front and placing the bag of food on the small table around some cushioned armchairs.
āOur class finished early and someone forgot to stop by the convenience storeā Sunghoon sat down on the floor, legs crossed and his face almost shoved into one of the bags to look for something that interested him. Finding a filled brownie, he took it without asking permission, even though he didn't need to.
āHe's in over his head, isn't he?ā Jake nudged Heeseung, who had been quiet the whole time since you and Dahyun arrived.
Looking at your best friend, you saw her sit down next to Jake as if it were something mechanized as if she had to be there without any kind of effort. It was cute how close the two of them always were. But your mind went into overdrive because as she sat next to him, the only seat left was next to Heeseung.
āWhat?ā he asked, shaking his body at the slight shock Jake had caused him. Adjusting his posture in the armchair, Heeseung swallowed as soon as he felt a weight next to him, indicating that you had sat there.
āYou forgot to stop by the convenience store to pick up some foodā Jay grumbled āWhat are you thinking, man? You haven't answered us since you came to class today.ā
Playing the misunderstood had been a mutual agreement with everyone in the room. They had seen you and Heeseung leave together, but if neither of you had mentioned anything, none of them would do it. Playing the game of not knowing anything about you and him was the best thing. At least until that moment.
āI'm just sleepy, don't fight meā Heeseung grumbled, stretching more than usual so that he could annoy you, as he had done ever since the two of you met. He could hear you taking a deep breath next to him, holding back a little so as not to swear at him before the study session even started.
Heeseung mentally thanked his friends for the lame excuse he'd given, because they all started to engage in side conversations as he slipped a glance in your direction. Your fingers held the coffee cup with a certain lightness, your thumb circling the cardboard that was possibly warm against his skin. Heeseung suppressed a smile, thinking about how your fingers had touched his body a few days ago.
He didn't want to think about anything involving the night you two had spent together, but even though it was recent, seeing you so close hit him hard. It was as if his mind betrayed him the very moment you sat down next to him and did the bare minimum to be noticed. There was no way Heeseung could think of anything other than you. The way you brought the cup to your lips and drank the coffee, for example. It made him think of your mouth kissing him, how easily your lips turned red as the kiss got more and more intense. How your mouth looked like the perfect shape of his cock when you wrapped it around you and sucked it, giving him the best blowjob of his life.
Fuck Heeseung, stop thinking about it. He told himself, or he'd get turned on just associating every single thing you did with the way he had you in his room, under his body, and in his bed.
The only way to make his thoughts go away and him not think like that was to irritate you, bring up the atmosphere of the argument you had with him, and thus get his friends to intervene and completely change the course of Heeseung's thoughts. And the way he thought was by taking the coffee cup from your hand, bringing it to his lips, and taking the last sip.
āHeyā you said loudly enough, trying not to shout because the study room was next to the university library āYou ruined my coffee, you idiot.ā
āI was thirsty, sorryā Heeseung pouted his lips, feeling the taste of salted caramel all over his tongue. He ran the tip of his tongue between his lips to wipe away any coffee residue. He just didn't expect your attention to be on his mouth. Without hesitation, your eyes traced the path of his mouth and the way his tongue traced his lower lip. That sparked something inside Heeseung because it showed that you were thinking along the same lines as he was.
āYou're a real idiotā you said quietly this time, trying to look away as Heeseung bit his lower lip.
He leaned in a little but didn't manage to get close enough to tease you because he felt the famous slap on the chest that you gave him when he said something stupid. Ever since that morning in his bed.
āOuch, that hurtā he cringed, dodging the next slap you'd give him. For the first time, the dynamic between you and Heeseung was a little closer and more physical. Usually, the two of you didn't sit near each other or you couldn't get there in time to hit him, Jay or Sunghoon always managed to hold you back first.
āHey, stop it, you twoā Jake broke off from an interesting conversation he was having with Jay, sharing a packet of sweets with Sunghoon in the process.
āIt's not like you guys had sex at the weekendā Dahyun yawned, throwing the full weight of her head on Jake's shoulder.
āWhat?ā you and Heeseung shouted at the same time.
Their eyes widened, their breathing quickened and their faces heated up as they looked at the four of them sitting in front of them. So they knew, but how? You and he had tried to be discreet the whole time, and you hadn't said anything to Dahyun, considering Heeseung's astonishment, showing that he hadn't said anything to his friends either.
āCome on, we saw you two leaving the party togetherā Jay sighed āWe agreed not to say anything until one of you spoke.ā
āBut you're still fightingā Jake pouted.
āBy the wayā Dahyun squeezed the cup between her fingers, the coffee long since finished and she just needed something to munch on while she talked to Jake āI could hear you two when we got homeā she looked at Jake for a few seconds, then at you and Heeseung. They exchanged frightened, embarrassed glances.
A hole could be dug right there that you wanted to bury yourself in and never get out of. There was no escaping it and no escape from your friends' looks and playful smiles. There was also no way you could face Heeseung after everything you'd heard, so your only way out was to make an excuse that you needed to go to the library to get a book to start studying. You left the room as quickly as you could and entered the door at the end of the corridor.
At least it was quiet there and you wouldn't hear any of your friends talking about you and Heeseung having sex, or about how they knew all along and didn't tell either of you. It hadn't been long since it happened, but you'd been with Dahyun all morning and Heeseung had probably spent a lot of it with some of the boys he shared a class with. So they waited for you to give them a break to say it out loud?
āHoly shitā you whispered to yourself, leaning on one of the shelves in a vast aisle of encyclopedias. Nothing there was of interest to you and you didn't necessarily need any of those books, but it had been the first aisle you'd found to enter and browse the various shelves in search of clearing your mind.
āIt really is shitā the voice settled in your ears and went straight to your skin, sending shivers down your spine and making your heart race. Your heartbeat accelerated more than usual when you turned around and noticed Heeseung just a few steps away.
āWhat the fuck are you doing here? Go away!ā you whispered at him, turning to one of the shelves to pick up any stupid books. If you'd never read encyclopedias before, that day could be your first. Then you'd be too busy reading and not paying attention to the boy who was slowly approaching you.
āI had to leave too, I couldn't stand that embarrassment aloneā he said in the same tone as yours, stopping right behind you as he noticed your feat in trying to open a heavy book that had nothing to do with the classes you were attending āBesides, I came to tease you for being too scandalousā Heeseung's breath hitched against your ear, his lips almost kissing your skin.
You turned sharply, the book wobbling in your hands from the weight of it and the force with which you turned. But your reflexes were good enough to hold it steady while you stared at it.
āMe? Scandalous?ā your indignation was palpable, along with your anger that was beginning to grow inside your chest at him and the arrogant smile he had āWhat do you mean?ā
āThat you moaned so loudly that my sister heard!ā
āMotherfuckerā you almost forgot you were in the library, wanting to scream in his face and curse him with every swear word you could think of āI didn't moan that loud.ā
āYes, you didā he said.
āNo, I didn'tā you answered back, not realizing that you had taken a step forward and leaned your body against his. Heeseung took the opportunity to take the book from your hands, the weight shifting to his arms as he put it back on the shelf. Now having full access to you and your body in front of him.
He knew you hadn't moaned out loud, not least because he managed to shut you up every time. Making you moan against his mouth or listening closely when your mouth was close to his ear, having the most beautiful moan Heeseung had ever heard in his entire life.
āOn a scale of zero to ten, if I say you moan scandalouslyā¦ā Heeseung began, his speech somewhat meek āHow angry will you be?ā
āTen, obviouslyā you hadn't even hesitated to answer, regretting it the second he smiled.
āSo you moan too scandalouslyā such a simple sentence, but one that practically tore away the last bit of calm you had with Heeseung. Not that it ever really existed, but at least you tried inside the library.
As if it was the right thing to do, you raised your hand to hit him as you had been doing so often in the last few moments, but he acted quickly. So fast that neither of you could process it. Heeseung's long fingers wrapped around your wrist and he pulled you against his chest, wrapping his free arm around your waist to press you down and give you no chance to escape. The warmth of his fingers against your skin made you hold your breath and close your eyes, almost like a memory of what was about to happen.
It was the perfect cue for Heeseung to lean towards you and touch the tip of his nose to yours. His breaths mingled and his eyes closed to revel in the sensation of being so close to you again.
He wanted to touch your mouth, kiss you, and be able to leave with you. To remember the softness of your lips and how perfectly your mouths fit together as if the two of you had learned everything from each other. Even though the two of you shared hurried, slow kisses, none of them were disproportionate or out of rhythm. You and Heeseung managed to find harmony and synchronicity in every movement.
āOh, shitā Jay's voice made you and Heeseung break apart quickly, startled by the closeness and realizing that if the brunette hadn't arrived, you and he would have kissed right then āSorry, Iāā
āYou owe me lunch for a weekā Dahyun appeared beside him, smiling openly as her eyes landed on you and Heeseung. He didn't need to look at you to know that you also shared a confused, albeit frightened, expression as to why Jay and his sister were there in the library.
āWhat did you two bet?ā Heeseung asked the dreaded question, opening and closing his fists and holding back the urge to touch you again, even if it was in front of the two who were still there.
āThat you and Y/n would be kissingā Jay said āBut the two of them never actually kissed, so I don't owe you anything.ā
āYes, you do!ā Dahyun protested, pushing Jay out of the hallway and leaving you and Heeseung completely unresponsive.
It would have been a smart idea to avoid going to any parties after what happened, in case you both regretted it. But that wasn't exactly it.
As the week went by, the teasing between Heeseung and you continued with a little more intensity, adding to the spice of what had happened between you, and now things had become a little more physical. Like him having to get too close to you and touch your hair after getting on your nerves, or how your hand wrapped around his arm ā unnecessarily ā so you could avoid Heeseung when he was near the kitchen counter teasing you before you left and went to his sister's room.
Things were getting heated and neither of you made any move to actually stop or that it wasn't affecting you anymore, quite the opposite. As the touching persisted or you paid too much attention to each other's actions, things got more and more complicated.
That was why Heeseung now found himself with a red glass in his hand, bringing it to his lips and feeling the bitter taste of alcohol go down his throat. He could have refused to go to that party after Sunghoon insisted, with the excuse that the class had been terrible. Even though he had slept through most of it. At least they were at Yeonjun's parent's house, the rich boy and Jake's friend who always gave up his house when the fraternities hadn't recovered after a few parties over a short period.
At least there was somewhere to sit, a room without too many people and the music wasn't too loud. The pool room that the boys usually went to when they wanted to escape the crowds, but didn't want to leave the party completely.
āMan, I love it when weāre hereā Yeonjun sighed, sitting across from Heeseung and next to Jay āI wanted to run away from Stacy all night.ā
āIs she annoying you?ā Jay held back a laugh.
Talking about girls was the main topic when Yeonjun was around, and it wasnāt such a bad thing. Sharing experiences and even talking about how their current relationships were going, just as Jake made a point of praising Dahyun and how the two of them were getting along better and better. At some point in the conversation, Heeseung didnāt even bother to share anything, feeling shy for the first time. You had been the last girl he slept with, and talking about it, about the intimacy you two shared made him embarrassed. It wasnāt that he would brag every time he got with someone, on the contrary, the poor boy was the most teased because he rarely kissed a unit on the mouth at a party.
Maybe it was his chance to say that he had finally kissed someone after so long. But he wanted to keep it all to himself as if he felt jealous of sharing every detail about you.
āAnd you, Heeseungā Yeonjun called him as if he could read his thoughts. āDid you finally have sex?ā
Sunghoon choked on his half-drunk drink, biting the plastic cup as he looked at his friend and noticed the shocked expression on his face. Yeonjun didnāt know anything about what had happened, especially since he wasnāt that close to you and Dahyun. He knew you two by sight and exchanged a few words because you were always around, but itās not like he knew everything about you.
āHe definitely had sexā Jake bit his lips to keep from smiling āGuess who?ā
There wasnāt a single name that crossed Yeonjunās mind, it was so difficult to associate Heeseung with anyone. Just like they associated Jake with Dahyun or Yeonjun with Stacy. Heeseung didn't have anyone on his radar, and the boys didn't know which girl had ever mentioned his name as a possible sexual companion.
A short period of silence fell over the room, and Jay's impatience quickly cut through.
"Y/n" he said.
āWhat?ā it was Yeonjunās turn to almost choke on his drink when he decided to take a sip of his beer. āDonāt you two, like, hate each other more than anything in the universe?ā
I thought so, Heeseung had that answer on the tip of his tongue, almost wanting to say it out loud.
āSo our dear Lee has a powerful dickā Yeonjun joked.
āDude, we can ask Y/n if he has a small dick or notā Jay suggested.
āThatās cute, weāre finally going to know about his dickā Jake faked a cute voice, pouting and everything to get in on the joke.
āI donāt have a small dick, you idiotsā Heeseung wanted to sound angry, although that joke was always there. Talking like that or about sexual performance with some girlā¦ It would be disgusting if it was a conversation that happened often, but it wasnāt. It was just at times when they all wanted to escape from everything, to be in a universe where only boys existed and they could talk about anything.
A laugh filled the room before Heeseung or any of the boys could respond. Turning to the door, there you were. Standing with your hand on the doorknob and the other holding the plastic cup.
āY/n!ā Jay called out to you excitedly.
āHey Y/n, is it true that Heeseungāā Yeonjun was interrupted by a flying plastic cup, hitting him in the chest as Heeseung threw it.
You had heard the entire conversation before entering the wrong room, looking for a bathroom to pee in. Your eyes scanned the room, seeing how relaxed and happy the boys were, far from those people you were starting to get bored with.
āWrong door, sorry, boysā you waved and smiled at all of them, stopping your eyes on Heeseung for a long moment. Analyzing every inch of his body. Every piece of clothing adorned that manās curves very well. Wide pants, white tank top, and leather jacket. A cardinal sin was that his hair was slicked back and the silver chain showing well above the collar of the tank top he was wearing. Luckily for you, the music was loud enough that no one could hear the force with which you swallowed when you noticed Heeseungās collarbone was more exposed than usual. Waving to all of them, you closed the door as quickly as you opened it.
He tried to process what had just happened. Did your laughter indicate that you had heard the conversation, giving the boys room to think that he had a small dick? It wasn't possibleā¦ Heeseung couldn't believe it, even though it was true as he started to hear his friends making fun of your reaction.
If she laughed, it was because she agreed.
Does he really have a small dick?
Shit, Heeseung, she's teasing you.
He didn't want to hear anything from his friends anymore, the small flame of anger consuming him for teasing him like that in front of his friends. It wouldn't stay like this. Heeseung wouldn't let you get away with it, just like you almost didn't let him get away with it on library day.
Without time for goodbyes or small talk, Heeseung left the room in a hurry, opening the door and closing it without giving time for protests or for any of the boys to follow him. Now, in the middle of the small crowd in the hallway, he dodged some dancing and sweaty bodies, looking everywhere in search of you or his sister who, perhaps, could know where you were. Heeseung had a small spark of hope that he could find you before you went somewhere he couldn't find anymore. Or worse, that you started to feel tired and drunk enough to want to leave.
Running down the stairs, he reached the ground floor in record time, even with some people getting in his way. Heeseung walked from one room to the other, his eyes increasingly attentive to the people, scanning the place until he finally found you. Standing at one end of the table with glasses piled up in front of you, while his sister was at the other end with a few more girls.
āMy turn to play,ā one of them said, excited enough to grab the ball and throw it before it fell into one of the cups. She and Dahyun celebrated that you would have to drink, and from the look on your face, it wasnāt that good.
Heeseung took hurried steps towards the table, watching you take the ball out of the cup and drink all the contents inside.
āHow disgustingā you stuck your tongue out, making a fake vomit sound before discarding the empty cup right next to you. āNow itās my turnā but your turn didnāt come. Before you could even throw the ball into one of the cups in front of Dahyun and the other girl, Heeseung grabbed your arm and slid his fingers through your hand until he took the ball out. āWhat the fuckāā
āI need to talk to youā he said.
āOh, thatās our girl, finally Y/n!ā you wanted to ignore those comments, especially because Heeseungās eyes were so intense and focused only on you. He didnāt care that the girls were joking about that situation, or how Dahyun was saying some teasing things in a playful tone. As if his gaze was capable of erasing everything around him and leaving only the two of you in the center of everything.
āHeeseung.ā
āI said I need to talk to you, letās goā he threw the ball to Dahyun, grabbing your arm again to get you out of there as quickly as possible.
Strangely you didnāt protest, just accepting the boy in front of you leading the way out of the party and through the front door. The air that hit your skin almost made you shiver, but Heeseungās touch was capable of warming everything in your body without giving you a chance to feel the cold outside environment.
He stopped walking as soon as the two of you passed through the entire front yard, the sidewalk almost devoid of anyone around. Everyone was lying on the lawn or the porch, except for the excessive amount that was already inside Yeonjun's parents' huge house.
āWhat do you need to talk to me about?ā you finally asked, letting your voice be heard by Heeseung after a while of silence between the two of you. He then let go of your arm, turning towards you to face you. Looking around a little, he wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be interrupted or, worse still, that someone would hear your conversation. People had a slight impression that you and Heeseung always argued, but the only ones who listened attentively to this were your friends and his sister. Heeseung didn't want anyone else to know about these little details.
āYou heard the boysā conversation upstairs, didnāt you?ā he asked you. His tone was usually serious, but with a hint of anger that was always directed at you.
āWanting to know if you have a small dick? Yeah, I heard youā you laughed a little, regretting it the second Heeseung approached you. His eyes were glazed over anywhere on your face, at least you knew where he was looking. His chest rose and fell in a rapid breath as he leaned in enough to be able to look you in the eyes without losing your attention.
āDo you find this funny, Y/n?ā his low tone of voice never had any effect on you, on the contrary, it always instigated you even more to tease him. Smiling now and then, pushing Heeseungās buttons when he seemed mad at you. But this time it was different, his voice seemed to fade away as he said things to you that way. The look still in your eyes, now falling to your lips āSo you think I have a small dick?ā
āI didnāt say anything about thatāā you were quickly interrupted.
āAnswer my questionā he said āDo you think I have a small dick?ā Heeseungās hand touched your waist, pressing his fingers tightly against the spot before pulling you against his body.
You swallowed any sound that could come out of your lips so as not to give him the satisfaction of seeing the effect he was having on you. Your pride spoke louder at least at that moment.
Thinking of all the possibilities that could answer his question, something popped into your mind. The instinct of rivalry and fight between the two of you couldnāt end so soon, and you knew that a remnant of the old Y/n that started all this with Heeseung still lived inside you. So you did the right thing by whispering those words.
āOn āāa scale of zero to ten, how angry will you be if I say yes?ā
Heeseung felt like an idiot for letting a smile appear on his lips so easily, especially because of you.
āWeāre going home right now, tell my sister to go with Jakeā he said, not taking his hands off your waist until he took you to the car and they left that party.
You were both experiencing a little deja vu from the first night you were together, but something at that moment seemed to be a little slower. You arrived at the apartment without much of a rush because Heeseung drove carefully; the city streets at that time were not a safe place to speed, even if he was in a hurry. The silence in the building's elevator was not uncomfortable, much less the rustling of the keys when he opened the apartment door.
The path to his room was led by him, with dragging and slightly nervous steps ā which you didn't notice and he was grateful ā because you were equally nervous. The last time you made this path, you were in Heeseung's arms and with your mouth glued to his. Shy giggles and messy words were said as the two of you tried to balance each other until you entered his room.
When you entered the room again, the smell of Heeseung's cologne was still in the air. The same smell he had all over his clothes and inside the car, showing that when he had put on perfume a few hours before going to the party, the smell still lingered in the air. Your eyes searched around in search of some recognition, mentally cursing yourself for remembering practically everything. The shelf with trophies he had won, video games stacked perfectly next to each other, some dolls and superheroes. Nerd stuff that you had played with him for so long outside of that environment, but being in Heeseung's personal space and taking a good look at it was something new for you.
At that moment your thoughts flew to the boy in front of you who, delicately, wrapped his hands around your waist this time. The tender touch was a total opposite of what the two of you had been having lately, about everything that involved you and him. Heeseung pulled you closer, his forehead slowly touching yours, while one of his hands left your waist to touch your face. The touch of his fingers against your skin immediately made you close your eyes.
āDo you miss being here?ā he asked in a playful tone, but the softness of that question made you wonder if you really missed being there. Even though it was the second time you had stepped into Heeseung's room under those circumstances.
āYou're the one who misses having me hereā you teased.
āMaybe soā he shrugged, smiling when you seemed surprised by his sudden confession, but you didnāt dare open your eyes. Shy enough not to be able to look at Heeseung while he was still caressing your face.
You had both consumed a little more alcohol than the last time you did this, but still, neither of you managed to get to the point of getting drunk. There was no way you could tell him that you drank too much at the games with Dahyun and the girls, and much less could Heeseung use the excuse that he was drunk with the boys. Again, you were both in that situation because you wanted to be.
āY/nā he whispered your name, taking you out of the little trance where you could only hear your calm breathing and your heartbeats against each other due to the proximity of your body to his.
āYeahā you answered.
āCan I kiss you again?ā the first time he didnāt ask for permission in that scenario, Heeseungās lips were simply against yours. But now, there inside his room, everything seemed different. All the tenderness and calm that you were strangely enjoying, while he didn't know exactly why he was caressing you so lovingly and asking permission for something he had already done.
āYes, pleaseā your answer surprised him more than it surprised you. You even said please, something that had never happened to him. Usually the only thank you you gave Heeseung or the only word of cordiality you said to each other was the famous good morning, and when Dahyun still insisted on the two of you.
Finally, Heeseung's lips pressed against yours, the soft touch of his mouth sliding over yours before he opened his mouth and urged you to do the same. Heeseung's chin slowly pressed against yours to keep your mouth open and enter his tongue into your cave, searching for your tongue and intertwining the two gently.
Although there was urgency in each touch, in how he wanted to kiss you and how you wanted to be kissed by him, something unsaid ā but understood ā was that you both wanted to enjoy that strangely pleasurable moment for both of you. Your hands went up to make contact with the collar of the jacket he wore, running your thin fingers under the leather before grabbing Heeseung's shoulders. Your skin against his made him sigh during the kiss, bringing you closer and walking with you towards the bed. Stopping only when his calf touched the wood indicating that he had reached where he wanted.
He was the first to stop kissing you, placing small kisses on your chin until he reached your jaw, where he lightly scraped his teeth and smiled when he saw the skin on your neck start to get goosebumps. You didn't want to be left behind, so your hands forced themselves on his shoulders to loosen his jacket and make it fall halfway down his arms. Heeseung grew impatient with that piece of cloth and soon got rid of the jacket, not bothering to throw it on the bedroom floor, wrapping his arms around your body again.
Heeseung returned with his lips against your skin, brushing whenever he could on every little spot before alternating with the tip of his tongue a short path down to below your ear. His breath so close was enough to make you go a little crazy more.
āWe canāā
āWe can do whatever you wantā he told you, kissing the spot below your ear and returning to position his face aligned with yours. Foreheads together and feeling her breath hit his lips āTell me and I will do it.ā
It was your turn to kiss Heeseung, your hands holding his face to keep him close while his tongue wrapped around yours again. The perfect fit of your mouths and how the two of you, despite your need, didn't let go and didn't make a mess of it. Yet.
Heeseung picked you up just to lay you down on his bed, snuggling his body between your legs without taking his mouth off yours. He pulled away momentarily to breathe before kissing you again with even more desire. At that point you felt like you needed him even more, your legs wrapping around Heeseung's hips who, you could tell, was holding back from making any risky moves. Even though you both wanted that. But it was impossible to hold back any longer because of the way the kiss started to get sloppy and lazy. You didn't know that you could get even more excited by the way Heeseung's tongue moved against yours or how the softness of his lips remained even after you abused them for so long.
Involuntarily your hips rocked, feeling Heeseung's erection rub against your clothed pussy, making you both moan in sync.
āFuckā he moaned into your mouth, swallowing another moan of yours as he pressed his hips against you so you could feel a little more of his cock.
āHeeseungā your hands ran down his arms, your nails making a reddish path against his skin as you marked him.
āAre you going to moan loudly now?ā he teased, lifting his head to look at you. It would be typical of Lee Heeseung to comment on that while he had a hard-on and was between your legs, you should have imagined that.
āI think you need to keep your mouth busy and stop talking shitā you rolled your eyes at him, holding yourself back so that your arousal wouldn't turn into anger and you would hit the boy.
āYour wish is my command, ma'amā Heeseung smiled so seductively that you asked yourself countless questions at that moment.
As he slid down your body, taking off each piece of your clothing without your protest, you wondered. Heeseung always smiled mischievously at you, although the effects were always the opposite of what was happening. Maybe the vulnerability in which you and he found each other at that moment made you with your senses heightened, paying a little more attention than necessary. Of course, you saw Heeseung up close, in his most intimate form, just as he saw you too. So that would be a good explanation for why you felt strange when he, at that moment, directed the smiles that you knew so well, at you.
Looking down at the exact second that Heeseung took off your panties, you noticed how lost in thought you were at that moment. Did he undress you so quickly or were you thinking too much about his smile to notice that now you were both naked? It didnāt matter, the job was done and now you fought against your racing heartbeat as Heeseungās face lowered to be level with your pussy.
As if asking permission with a glance directed at your face, you nodded slowly as he adjusted himself between your legs and placed a kiss on your thigh. His lips tickled your skin before sliding down to your groin and finally finding your pussy.
āHeeseungā shitā you held back a moan between your lips as the tip of his tongue touched your clit. Swollen and in need of his full attention which he was more than willing to give.
Heeseung wrapped one hand around your thigh, bringing the other to your pussy to part your labia and spread all your wetness on his fingertips. It was a sight he didnāt think he would ever see, but one he couldnāt stop seeing now. He needed to be in that position at least once a day, if possible. Heeseungās fingers made their way across your pussy lips until they reached your hole, circling it before pushing in. He looked up, his face fucking gorgeous as you fought the urge to open your eyes.
He wrapped his lips around your clit to suck on your bundle of nerves at the same time his finger was inserted into your hole. The two sensations flooded you as you let out the most beautiful moan. It wasn't scandalous at all, on the contrary, it was low and sensual. A reminder of how Heeseung was making you feel with just a few seconds of giving your pussy proper attention.
Moving his finger inside you, he included another and the two began working in and out of your hole. The wet sound of his fingers fucking you along with the moans you were letting out made his cock throb. Heeseung felt himself getting harder and harder, aching and wanting to be inside you as soon as possible.
āHeeā you moaned that nickname that had been heard only a few times, but that was enough to make him want to hear it again. This seemed to motivate you a little more, because Heeseung inserted the third finger into your pussy and, leaning down again, he went back to kissing your clit and any other place his mouth could reach.
It seemed like the way he kissed your mouth, kissing your pussy so perfectly that you were going crazy. Your hands found their way into his hair, tangling a few strands without having enough strength to pull them out. You focused as much as possible on how well Heeseung was fucking you and his fingers curling inside your warm walls. It was the second time you had sex, but it seemed like he knew every spot on your body and how you should be touched.
Heeseung felt your hole tighten against his fingers, licking your clit more slowly, although the intrusion of his fingers into your hole wasn't that slow. He smiled against your pussy, lifting his face from there and crawling until his face was flush with yours. His fingers didn't stop fucking you even though his mouth was far from your pussy.
āAre you going to cum?ā he asked in a deep and hoarse whisper, making you open your eyes and almost actually cum at that moment. His chin was covered in saliva and your wetness, making Heeseung even hotter than he looked.
You nodded quickly to him, bringing one of your hands to Heeseung's chin and sliding your thumb over the spots on his skin to clean it. Any other time this would have been kind of cute, warming both of your hearts with the act. Although he appreciated your care even if he didn't mind having a little bit of you stuck to his chin.
āI want you to cum looking into my eyesā he whispered āCan you do that?ā
You had no way of knowing if you were capable of it, especially when his fingers started fucking you again so slowly, but so intensely. He made sure to go all the way to his knuckles, rotating and scissoring inside you with precision. Wanting to feel your warm walls enveloping them as he penetrated you. A scream burst from your throat when his thumb touched your clit, where his lips had been minutes ago. You moved your hips to match the movements of his fingers and that made Heeseung almost go crazy.
Your hands went back to touching his hair, one of them going to the back of his neck to pull his face close to yours. Heeseung kissed you to share a little of your taste on his tongue, to show you how addictive you were not only to the kiss but to the taste of your pussy that he was already starting to get addicted to. This was starting to get too much for you, the way he moved his tongue around as he kissed you to muffle your moans and the way his fingers filled you up nicely. A few more small strokes and a particularly hard press on your clit and you came undone, cumming all over his fingers and squeezing them like Heeseung remembered your pussy being capable of.
He held you throughout your orgasm, his fingers still inside you until your walls stopped convulsing and tightening. Slowly sliding out with all of your cum running down your fingers and into the palm of your hand.
āThat wasā¦ā your words slowly faded as you noticed him pull away a little, enough for him to be able to place his hand between your face and his. The glow of your essence covering every little part of Heeseungās fingers made your face heat up. It wasnāt the first time you had cum with him, but seeing it so close made you feel shyā¦ You came all that and only on his fingers?
With an air of pride for having been the cause of it, Heeseung smiled before bringing his fingers to his lips and sucking every little drop of you. Fucking hot. He licked it all up with determination, just like he had done on your pussy until there was nothing left for him to clean.
āThat was what?ā he turned his attention back to you, a small smile on his lips as he leaned in again and now Heeseung's hips were pressed against yours.
Your pussy was still sensitive as his throbbing cock made contact with your folds. He let out a hiss, low and whimpering at the warm sensation that hadn't yet enveloped him. You wanted to surprise him just like he did to you, so slowly your lips enveloped his. A slow kiss to calm your heart that was still racing from the post-orgasm, but preparing yourself for what was on your mind as you felt him melt into your lips.
It was the calmness of Heeseung kissing you and the way you took his lips at that moment. Feeling the attention you gave to each caress, when your hands slid over his bodyā¦ He just didn't count on how fast it was when you grabbed his dick and slid the red and sensitive head into your entrance.
āY/nā¦ Fuck, holy shitā he moaned. Being taken by surprise by the sensation, but unable to contain himself when he felt your hot hole envelop him. Quickly his hips pushed forward as if he was trained to do it, as if Heeseung needed to do it without thinking, just being close to your pussy like something magnetic to his dick.
In a quick movement, his entire dick was inside you, and you both moaned at the same second. You because you felt filled by his dick, killing the longing that was to have him inside you. That would never be admitted out loud. While he felt the warmth and sponginess of your walls enveloping every inch of his dick. A hot embrace that he needed more than ever. Another thing that wouldn't be admitted out loud either.
Heeseung adjusted himself, one hand resting on the side of your head while the other found its way to your hip. Supporting himself and squeezing the flesh of your skin as he rested his forehead against yours, looking deep into your eyes before starting to move.
You remember that the first time you two had sex, Heeseung practically fucked you. The force with which his cock entered and left you, the way he ate you out and you sucked him. It was an almost angry but needy sex, where the two of you poured out teasing and moaning. But this time was different. He also remembered the way you and he gave yourselves to each other the first time. How his hips tortured yours as his cock went in and out, hearing you moan his name so much that Heeseung could think it was devotion to him.
But this time he moved masterfully. Slowly and carefully, but each time his dick entered, Heeseung went intensely to the bottom, putting just enough force to make his dick enter you completely and reach the limit that was being in your pussy, reaching your deepest point. His dick slid perfectly inside you, combining his pre-cum with your fluids and the cum from the previous orgasm, all combined with the way he moved.
To add even more intensity to the sex, Heeseung remained with his gaze fixed on your eyes. His hand on your hip tightened as he managed to reach the bottom of your pussy or when your walls squeezed him at a certain point. He was on cloud nine every time your hole swallowed him and he felt your walls being slid by every inch of him.
āY/nā the whisper of his voice made you mumble softly, as if answering his call and telling him that you were listening. Not wanting to say too much or simply interrupt what he wanted to say to you āThatās amazingā he slowly kissed your lips, the hand on your hip sliding down to grip your thigh āYouāre amazing.ā
He didnāt even care if it had been said that way or how you would react. By the way your eyes were soft on him, your mouth half open letting moans escape, Heeseung could tell you felt the same way.
āYouāre an idiotā you whispered āBut youāre amazing too, Heeseungā he chuckled against your lips as he kissed you again.
The sharing of each movement of your tongues as they danced in sync with his hips that were still moving against yours. His cock throbbed inside your pussy indicating that he wouldn't last much longer than that, although your pussy was addictive and he could fuck you all night. But Heeseung wasn't that strong when it came to you ā at least not in the last week that he discovered what sex with you was like ā so cumming was more than a necessity for him at that moment.
He quickened the pace of his thrusts, the sound of his pelvis hitting against your thighs quickly in search of the apex to share a little more intimacy. Heeseung thrust his cock into you fast, but with a certain care that made your chest heat up. And that was a combination of the overwhelming sensations that the two of you were sharing. His cock went to the limit, touching your cervix as he started and going a little harder and faster to fuck you with a little more need.
Heeseung rested his forehead against yours again, a silent plea that he wanted to see you cum with him or simply see your expression when the two of you came together. And with a few more strokes you felt the burning in the pit of your stomach. Your hands ran to hold his face, afraid that the two of you would turn away and you wouldn't be able to look at him while you came undone on his cock.
āHeeā you called him before moaning close to his mouth, sharing accelerated breaths before your walls closed around his cock, cumming hard. More than the first time on his fingers.
That was too much for Heeseung to handle, he wouldn't be able to hold back the feeling of your walls convulsing around his cock. Your cum slid all over his length and hitting against his pelvis. Heeseung felt his balls ache as he continued to pound his cock into you until he finally came. The hot and long jets of cum inside your pussy, hitting your insides hard. He moaned your name tirelessly as he continued to move in search of prolonging both orgasms.
For a long moment, the two of you remained in that position, trying to normalize your breathing, which was still more than accelerated. Heeseung held you as if his life depended on it, and so did you. Little by little, after your pussy stopped squeezing him and his cock stopped twitching, he slowly raised his hips to pull out of you. Both of you moaning together were almost no longer connected as before, he threw himself next to you on the bed.
āDonāt moveā Heeseung whispered, although he knew you didnāt have the strength to do it. With great difficulty, he got up and made the well-known path to the bathroom outside the room. Thankfully, no one had arrived from the party yet, having the apartment just for the two of you. When Heeseung returned to the room, he had a small smile on his lips as he lay down next to you again, bending over you.
āWhatā¦ā he seemed to have the power to interrupt you on the strangest occasions, catching you by surprise with unexpected actions. He cleaned you carefully, leaving no trace of the two of you between your legs, just like he had done in the bathroom with himself a few seconds ago. Heeseung discarded the damp paper in the trash next to the computer table, lying down next to you again and wrapping his arm around your waist. Just like he had done the first night you and he slept together.
But this time it didnāt seem so strange to you. What was strange was that you liked the feeling of having him so close like this, facing him and resting your hands on Heeseungās exposed chest.
āSo youā¦ā
āDonāt say anything to provoke me now or Iāll hit youā it was your turn to interrupt him, making Heeseung laugh as he pulled you closer and hid his face in the crook of your neck. You didn't know what happened to you after Heeseung touched you, because every little thing he did made your whole body shiver.
āI was just going to sayā¦ā he whispered, his lips close to your ear, but with a subtle tone that was rarely ā if ever ā used with you āIf you still think you hate me.ā
āI doā you answered quickly. Heeseung laughed against your ear, lifting his face so he could look at you.
āThen I hate you tooā he said back, pressing his lips against yours, but not kissing them like he always did when he was close enough to you. āCan we hate each other like we did today, then?ā
It was your turn to laugh, making Heeseung feel strange now. His heart skipped a beat at the brightness in your eyes and the way you frowned when you were smiling like that. Was he paying too much attention or were the two of you close enough that he couldn't notice anything other than you and what you were doing? He wasn't sure.
āI think we can hate each other like thisā you replied, seeing the small hint of happiness in his eyes and in the smile he gave you.
Pressing his lips slowly to yours, you let him kiss you so subtly like you never thought would happen. Because after all, you and Heeseung hated each other.
And you would hate each other the same way you did in his bed.
Ā© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.
#enhypen#enhypen smut#heeseung smut#enhypen heeseung#enha smut#heeseung fluff#enhypen fluff#heeseung x reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen hard hours#heeseung hard hours#enha fics#enha fluff#enhypen masterlist#enhypen imagines#bay writes.
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getting acquainted with the dildo: attempt #1
contains: sevika teaching reader how to suck the strap, dry humping (reader doing it on sev's thigh), friends with (resolved, thank god) tension, slight humiliation kink, a bit of a spit kink, teasing, inexperienced reader, implied age gap (both reader and sevika are adults), sevika calls reader "kiddo" teasingly, reader's body is referred to w/ the following terms: "pussy," "clit," "cunt"
when you tell sevika that you've never used a strap-on before, you nearly beg some higher force to let the ground swallow you whole. you two have been friends forever, but lately, it's undeniable that some sort of molten desire has been pooling at the center of what you have. maybe it was always there, and had just been in denial. but, it's undeniably present now, impossible to ignore, thick and heavy in the air, lining every interaction with a sort of hot lava.
and it's made confessions like this, ones filled with sexual secrecy and exposed desires, carry a lot more weight than they did prior. you're pretty much confiding in a woman who you're aching to have sex with about just how much experience she should and shouldn't expect of you. it's way more vulnerable, and it feels like you're spoiling her prematurely by peeling away sexual secrets that in a different circumstance, one with just regular dating, she would've discovered on her own in the context of wanting to have sex with you. but, doing it in a friendship, when you don't even know for sure what she feels, is more uncertain. it's farther away from the line of actual romance and desire, and therefore feels risker to admit. because if your inexperience deters her, maybe she'll easily dismiss and rid herself of any attraction she might've once harboured for you, since it'd be simpler to as just friends.
so, to say the least, you're scared when confessing this secret to her.
at least, that's until you see the way her lip curls up when, while laying on her couch, you confess that you're nervous about one day using the strap due to never having done it before. she seems equal parts intrigued and amused by the revelation. from where she sits, picking at one of the screws in her arm, she asks, tone low, steady, "well, do you feel ready?"
"I don't know." you stare up at the ceiling, for the thought of maintaining eye contact through this conversation is a bit too unnerving for your liking. "I mean, I'm sure everyone feels... not ready when they start using it, right?"
she shrugs. "maybe. to a degree. but, you don't need to push yourself if it really scares you." her voice has turned tentative, face absent of the initial mischief. with the way she angles herself away from you, it seems that she's somewhat uncomfortable with giving such earnest advice.
"thanks for the sex-ed," you laugh, trying to ease the mood some.
"well, considering I've actually worn the strap and you've barely touched it, you could use all the advice you can get."
you try not to visibly tense up at the casually tossed comment. you knew sevika has used a strap, of course you did. you've been at her apartment enough times to catch sight of her lube or dildos (because, yes she has several) scattered about. but, god, the idea of it taut on her pelvis, ready to be used to pump into you, has your thighs tightening.
"well, then, oh-wise-one, what would be your advice?"
she shrugs, avoiding your gaze for a few seconds before saying, "getting acquainted with it. with things like sucking, touching, you know."
"sucking?"
"yeah." the corner of her lip quirks up as she raises an eyebrow at you. "never done that either?"
you feel your face warm, feeling awfully pathetic under her pointed gaze, years of experience behind it. "no." you groan, swiping a hand across your face. "god, I'm gonna be so horrible at it when I first do it."
"then, practice."
you scoff. "with who?"
"by yourself?" she drawls, casting you an incredulous look as though she aims for you to question your own stupidity.
you huff, turning away. "I can't do it on my own, how will I know if I'm even doing it right?"
"then, I don't know," she sighs exasperatedly, lighting her cigar. "someone you trust, I guess. someone who wants their dick wet."
"the only person I know who wants to get their dick wet is you," you snap, a petulant part of you hoping you can embarrass her as much as she does with you.
her lips wrap around the tip of the cigar, that scar on the bottom one seeming to deepen. it's almost entrancing, hooking your eyes in and leaving you resistant to its power.
you only snap out of the spell when she says, "is that your way of asking for it to be me?"
the words have your lips parting before you can force them shut. what the fuck is that supposed to mean? you're well-aware of the tension that's been there between you two, of course you are. but, you never imagined that sevika would actually initiate anything. sure, she's flirted here and there, and you're convinced she's started purposely mentioning stopping at babette's for the sole purpose of making you jealous (after all, she always has such a shit-eating grin whenever you fidget or glare at her in response). but, still, it's never amounted to an actual offer, an actual step over the threshold between friendship and, well, something else.
you know it's the more responsible decision to say no, and shut this down before things get complicated. or at least until you clear up whatever it is you guys consider yourselves to be in relation to each other, and if it's something that carries as much emotion to her as it does to you.
but, part of you wants to give into the throb between your legs, the thick tension crackling in the air, the way her gaze is resting on you calmly, as though debating whether or not she should pounce. and god, you want her to, itching with curiosity as to what she'd say if you teased back.
and so, you do. "why, are you offering?"
you get a world of satisfaction from the way she coughs at the question, puffs of smoke blowing from her mouth as she roughly clears her throat. beneath it all, though, is a very apparent underbelly of nerves in your stomach, tingling in anticipation for her answer.
when she finally sets the stupid thing down, giving her lungs a well-deserved break, she says, "why, do you want me to?"
you grit your teeth, a spark of irritation set aflame from this back-and-forth. you wish she could treat you with the courage she does anyone else, just answering your question then sweeping you off your feet with no action required of you. but, no, she just has to be cautious, and hesitant, and sweet. today, of all times.
you sigh. you suppose it's on you to end this game. your chest is tight with anxiety, the words about to roll off your tongue heavy and filled with consequence. but, you push through, anyways. if you remain vague, she will too. if you say no, you may lose your chance with her for god knows how long. so, the only option is: "fine, yes."
immediately, regret weighs upon you, sinking down into your guts. you shift, eyes pointed down to your knees, trying not to panic, when a small huff meets your ears.
it's sevika. sevika chuckling.
your eyes tentatively raise up to her, nails digging into the plush of the cushioned seat you're on. her small, endearing gap flashes as she shakes her head slowly, her laughter sounding split between amused and incredulous, bordering on a scoff.
you feel nearly glued to your spot when her eyes finally rest upon you, the grey shine in them wrapping around you and pulling, pulling and pulling.
she leans back in her couch, spreading her legs out. "well, then, hop on, kiddo."
and that's how you wind up on her thigh, her arm wrapped around your torso as you fist at the fabric taut over her broad shoulders. her mechanic hand squeezes into the silicone balls of a dildo, eyes stuck on your lips as she traces the tip over them. your breaths are heaving with anticipation as she strokes the head along the inside plush of your lips, getting the bulb of it wet and slick with your spit. the experience is exhilarating, for you know she's capable of going harder than this, of fucking your throat raw. but, no, she wants to take her time with you, draw out every drop and dribble of pleasure for the both of you.
"who knew you had it in you?" she muses with a raspy laugh.
before you can even speak to protest, she slides the entire head in, capturing your voice and transforming it into a broken, wanton moan of surprise. her eyes practically gleam at that, and she slides the dildo out of your mouth's confines with a pop before sliding the tip back in. your lips latch on automatically, hugging around the head and letting it roll around the flat of your tongue. despite the sheer anxiety of having sevika's attentive eyes on you, the motions of her push-and-pull into your mouth is almost -- well, relaxing? the repetitiveness of it, the way it gives you something to direct all your five senses to as it lolls about in your mouth, your lips tightening and loosening -- it makes your brain feel softened, hazy, lost in this.
"ah, look at that," she coos, her tone hushed and sharpened with an edge of mockery. "sucking on that like that's all you're good for."
the playful degradation makes your clit fucking throb, and without meaning to, your hips automatically jerk forward, the firmness of her thigh making your eyes nearly roll back.
"oh, someone liked that," sevika mutters.
her thigh suddenly bucks up, sending you bouncing on her lap and nearly toppling over if not for her muscular arm steadying you. the pressure against your pussy makes you whine around the toy, your lips stretching open to release the noise only has her pushing it in deeper, nearly a quarter of it now sliding up and against your tongue.
"suck it in and out, just like that," she whispers, her eyes burning into your skin as she intently watches you. you try to follow her directions, but your sucks are too eager, too fast, and sevika reaches her hand up and gently grabs your jaw, coaxing it into fluid motions that has the dildo being softly pressed and released by your lips' grip, over and over and over again.
you know this is a horrible idea, a fact that only becomes more punctuated with every thrust of the toy into your mouth. you know you should've had some more self-control, and should've put a stop to this inane idea before it had manifested into a reality. but, no, you just had to think with your pussy, and now look where it's landed you? on your friend's, a good, loyal, helpful friend's, lap, practically rutting like you're in heat and sucking dick with zero technique.
"when that gets a bit too repetitive, you can lick it." she abruptly yanks the dildo from your mouth, and an embarrassing wad of spit stretches out with it, spilling thickly down your chin. your face is practically burning from the heat of humiliation, but sevika doesn't seem to mind, only smirking and saying, "now, I was gonna tell you you can get messy with it, but you're a step ahead."
now that your mouth is finally freed, at least you get to spit out, "you're such a dick," as though your pussy isn't practically leaking with arousal.
"oh, so you suck off any asshole, then?"
"maybe I will once you're done with this lesson," you haughtily snap back.
her eyes narrow at that, but she says nothing to it, smacking the tip lightly against your mouth. "open."
despite your snapping, and much to your annoyance, your mouth immediately goes slack, falling open for her.
"tongue out, now."
you obey, sticking it out.
she snorts, shifting in her seat as she raises the dick to you. "such a little sub."
you roll your eyes at her words, jerking when she grabs your jaw, forcing you to face her. "keep those eyes on me."
your pussy clenches down on nothing. god, you need her. not that you'd ever admit it -- the last thing she needs is another ego stroke.
"show me how you'd lick this."
giving you so much control causes your confidence, however little you had of it, to waver. you hesitate before tentatively stroking the flat of your tongue along the head, maintaining eye contact with her the entire time. a tiny burst of pride ripples through you when you see her eyes widen imperceptibly. it's barely there, but you know her well enough to know it wouldn't have happened unless, at the very least, a small part of her was surprised, or maybe even impressed.
the reaction eggs you on, and you do it again, running your tongue along the entire length of the dildo, using the tip to trace along the bulging veins. when that's done, you lap at the head, the flat of your tongue quickly moving along it in steady movements.
when sevika speaks, her jaw is clenched, and the deep breath she takes shudders. "good."
"yeah?" the clear effect you're having on her is most definitely getting to your head, and it makes you desirous to push and prod at her more. "am I being good?" you end the question with a kiss right to the tip.
almost as though sevika is tethered to the toy, she swallows hard at the sight. "yeah," she says, her voice firm. "you're doing good."
the praise has your hips bucking again, and you internally curse at the leverage you've so clearly given her, another wicked smile curling at her lips.
her thigh resumes its actions from before, pumping up to meet your clothed core as her arm grips your waist tightly, keeping you anchored as she encourages you to rub yourself on her. your body acts before your mind can catch up, hips pressing down so that your clit receives some friction through the layers of fabric. you hate to admit it, but sevika's muscled thigh is a perfect helper.
"you can flick your tongue on the tip, too," she says, her voice a lot rougher than it was a few minutes back. you derive some pleasure from it, for even if your resolve is loosening and waning in wake of her touch, at least hers seems to be too.
"how?" you ask, your voice an embarrassing pitch from the desperation accompanying the word. but, as soon as it slips from you, your mind conjures up a single image, and it drives you to ask, "can you show me?"
"you kidding me?"
"no." you bat your eyes, hoping it'll get her more susceptible.
"I'm gonna need a bit more convincing than some pretty eyes."
oh, well, never mind. you deflate physically, though something tickles your stomach at knowing she finds your eyes pretty.
"oh, c'mon, please, sevi," you say, tugging on her arm with a jutted bottom lip.
after a few moments of casting you a deadpan stare, she sighs, tentatively turning the dildo around and raising the head to her mouth. voice warm, so velvety, she murmurs, "like this."
you hold your breath as the tip of her tongue pokes out, flicking along the head of the toy, flapping over it fast and hard. she may not realize it, but she's giving you a crystal clear shot of exactly how she'd look devouring your clit. you pocket the mental image, already knowing you'll pull it out the next time you get off.
when you follow suit, lapping at the tip, your tongue's point making little zig-zag wags, sevika's hand tightens on your hip, and with just one pull, you're back to riding her thigh. the pleasure coursing through your pussy, deep and aching from the pressure, is making you lost in sensation. your eyes flutter close as your hole clenches and your clit swells up, sevika's muscular thigh hard and lovely.
meanwhile, she's easing the toy into your throat, laughing when you gag all over it, spit gushing from your mouth. she's relentless in her practice, just coaxing you to move faster on her thigh as you struggle to accommodate the dildo, pathetic whines tumbling from your mouth everytime she pushes it in and your throat seizes with a choke. it leaves you more sloppy, more wet, more nasty than you were before, saliva trailing down your chin and getting your neck cool and sticky.
sevika's hand slides up your waist, just barely grazing the side of your breast on the way up, before brushing a thumb against the corner of your mouth, wiping away the residue. the touch seems wholly intimate compared to the ones that preceded, especially when she uses the digit to encourage your mouth to open and take the dildo in again. she seems to be more cautious of your limits now, easing it only halfway in. your eyes flutter shut, sucking nonsensically at it, losing yourself to the rhythm as you jut against her thigh faster.
sevika's eyebrows furrow in as you speed up, her breathing laboured, and you nearly giggle around the toy at the evident impact you're having on her. but, that's not all there is to it, for her expression only has a series of more hot, tempting mental images bursting through your mind. her panting like that when thrusting into you, her eyebrows scrunching in concentration like that while she lavishes attention all over your soaked cunt.
the thought has you bouncing faster, and sevika growls. actually fucking growls. her hand abandons your face, opting to grip your ass tightly and drag you harder against her. your bud is practically weeping with desire now, desperate to have its wants sated as you grind down harder. the weight of the toy on your tongue, the way your mind is numbed from the bodily chaos of sucking, thrusting, clutching -- it sends you rolling close to your orgasm, just barely teetering on the edge of it.
what finally sends you hurdling past it is how sevika bites her lip when she pulls you forward again, her thigh pumping up and down to meet your thrusts. she looks so concentrated on you, her dark eyes hooded and intense, and the pure want on her face makes you feel so desired, so aroused at the idea of how many ways you can get that expression on her face again. that, paired with another aggressive press from her thigh, and a tight suck on the dildo, sends your body crashing with an orgasm, walls spasming as your thighs go taut. you writhe in her arm, nearly tipping all the way back if it weren't for her catching you and holding you close. your chest presses flush to hers as you tremble like a leaf, clit sopping and stinging in sensitivity as she continues pushing against it.
you whine in protest, slightly lifting your hips, and she immediately takes the hint, slowing her movements to a stop. all the while, you keep sucking on the dildo, the shape of it in your mouth, the way it offers you something to latch onto and ground yourself with, practically addictive.
sevika watches you carefully for a few moments before gently tugging it out, a string of saliva hooked between the head of it and your bottom lip.
you moan in surprise when shr leans in and runs her tongue along your chin, curling it right at your bottom lip, swallowing down the saliva all for herself.
"you're such a mess," she mumbles, sucking languidly at your chin.
"it's not my fault," you grunt, voice raspy from all the noises you made. now that the heat of the moment has worn off, the searing burn of embarrassment begins to imprint itself on you. god, you were so loud, so desperate, so--
"you looked good."
you lick your lips, some of the nerves calming. "yeah?"
"don't let it get to your head."
"that's true, I already had my fair share of head for today."
her eyebrow raises at you in a distinct lack of amusement. "you're lucky you're cute."
your stomach sizzles with oh-so-stupid butterflies. god, why does she have this much of an impact on you? and it's so effortless on her end too, which makes it all the more frustrating for you.
"you think I'm cute?" you ask, forcing your tone to sound teasing so she doesn't realize just how earnest you are.
when she falls silent for a few moments, you tense up, wondering if she can tell how serious you are.
"who's the one leaking through my favourite pants right now?"
or maybe not. face twisted into a cringe, you grip her shoulders to stumble into a standing position, her hand still loosely hanging by your waist. "on that note, I think I'll go wash up."
her fingers dig with a bit more pressure into your skin, and to your shock, she says, voice gruff, "not just yet. just sit for now."
you let her tug you back into her lap, your arms immediately winding around her neck. "what for?"
she shrugs. "just comfortable." her eyes finally lift to you, and it's like you could plummet to the ground with how swept over her steady gaze makes you feel.
"was it not you who just made made that stupid pants comme--"
"do I need to get the dildo again?"
you burst into laughter, eyes crinkling as you shake your head at her. "is that gonna be your go-to whenever I piss you off now?"
"amongst other possibilities." her fingertips ghost your waist, and you shiver.
other possibilities? you know it's not the smartest thing to dwell on -- after all, she might've just said casually with no serious intent. but, sill, your stomach warms from something you had been trying your best to avoid this entire interaction.
hope.
but, when she touches your waist like that, and seems to struggle to remove her hand from you as you walk away, you can't resist the little part of you of that whispers, maybe it's warranted.
but, you don't want to get ahead of yourself. so, you keep it at just a maybe.
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A friend I had briefly in my teens years was this girl in Arizona. She was a junior when I was a freshman, and as I was socially awkward and very lonely she kindāve pulled me under her wing for a while. I donāt remember how we met, but I remember riding in her car and meeting her cute miniature Doberman.
But the thing I remember most about this girl was that she loved lying to me. And I had a massive but unacknowledged crush on her so I adored being lied to. Her natural charisma and storytelling was hypnotic.
Itās not what it sounds like because it wasnāt malicious but she came up with this in depth lore to tell me about this fake job she had. I know autistic people are meant to be credulous but I truly never believed her stories, I just adored her storytelling and was very ready to listen to whatever tale she spun that day. Another of her friends chided her once for teasing me but I genuinely never minded.
In her lore she moonlighted as a Professional Liar. People would hire her to get close to a target they wanted rattled. Sheād make friends, develop a strong relationship, foster a dependency on her, then disappear. Then when they were confused and missing her sometime when the employer needed their target rattled sheād show back up as a glimpse to knock them off balance. Often it was implied sheād faked her death in the interim.
That itself was fine, it was an okay story. But in order to maintain that lie sheād make up tons of supporting details that were way more fun. She had this fake boyfriend who got high as balls on a mission and ended up seeing a sheep in a field and carrying it to a farmhouse to try to buy it because he wanted a puppy. I liked that one but suspected she didnāt know how big sheep were.
Sheād IM chat with me as this made up boyfriend sometimes; once she had him ask me if I noticed her limping and he told me sheād just lost a toe but was covering for it like a champ. That one was fun.
She told me about something she called āpurple chargeā which was a way to get instant night vision. I did try looking that one up on the off chance, but was sadly disappointed there.
She said that Professional Liars had such high stakes jobs that they needed a week of insane time where they just partied so hard it was like a Dionysus rave and her IM boyfriend persona implied sheād killed someone during one of those stints.
I had such a fun time with her elaborate fiction that Iād often ask follow up questions and she had to do a lot of world building to keep up with my fascination. Weād get to class and Iād have three or four new questions which I think is why her friend thought her teasing was too far. They genuinely thought I believed her but I was just loving the fiction.
If any of this sounds malicious Iāll also add that when I got harassed on a roleplaying board she went out guns blazing to go after the guy whoād been harassing me. She genuinely enjoyed my company. She also complimented my art, sometimes as her made up boyfriend which I appreciated.
I find myself looking back on our friendship very fondly. I canāt remember her last name or have any way of looking her up, but she really was a professional liar to me. The only downside is that Iām completely faceblind so if she ever wanted to pop unexpectedly into my life Iād have no idea it was her.
#ramblies#ffs foibles#funny#story#stories are just well told lies#at least in her case but I had a blast
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You've always been mine
You and Danielle have been friends for years. You two met when you were in 3rd grade and became fast friends. Although you two didn't share many interests, you two just clicked. Both of your parents loved the friendship that you two developed over the years. You and Dani lived in the same neighborhood, so you two spent the entire day together: walking to school, school, walking home, doing homework, and playing around in the neighborhood. You two maintained a close friendship throughout middle school and through the first two years of highschool.
You two were now entering your junior year of highschool. School was getting harder and it was time to start thinking about college. You and Dani still spent a good portion of the day together but the instead of playing in the neighborhood, you instead played games on your PC while Dani lounged around the room. You two were so joined at the hip that you had a PC in your room at your parents home and a PC in Dani's room at her parents house.
Today was no different than most days, you and Dani had finished working on homework and you were playing LoL in her room while she was scrolling Tik Tok. Although you did have a problem. And that problem was that Danielle was wearing a very fitting, white tank top with seemingly no bra underneath and a tiny black skirt that rode up every time she moved and she seemingly didn't notice or care enough to adjust. While you loved how comfortable Dani was with you, her lack of clothing was extremely distracting and even a bit annoying because she had no idea the effect she had on you. When you started highschool, you had realized two things: 1) You were in love with your closest female friend Dani and 2) You and her were never going to be. These two revelations had led you to accept a purely platonic (at least from her side) friendship that you were happy to keep as is, although you still sometimes hurt to do so.
Anyway, back to the challenge at hand, because you played with only one headphone on, you heard every movement she made and you naturally looked at her whenever she made noise. You swear that she is just fucking with you because she keeps making unsubtle movements with her legs that cause her skirt to go higher and higher and give you a dangerous amount of visibility to her creamy thighs. Naturally, you were a hormonal teenage so the sight of her dangerous thighs along with the clear bounce of her perky little tits that were easily identified through her shirt caused you to start to develop a boner. Due to the distractions, you had lost all focus on the game and had gotten picked over and over, so when you finally focused back up you were met by a massive "Defeat" and your team mates asking the other team to report Support aka you. You groaned because you were only a few wins from hitting your peak of Diamond 4.
Hearing you groan, Dani looked up from her phone and noticed that you were out of game. While you were distracted trying to counter flame your team mates, even though the loss was pretty much entirely on you, Dani snuck up and wrapped her arms around you and leaned over to look at your screen. Feeling her arms around you, you look to your right to meet her eyes but instead you are greeted by the cleavage provided by Dani's tank top and a clear few of her naked bare tits adorned by two beautifully pink nipples. You averted your eyes as soon as you were able to break out of your trance and hoped that Dani didn't notice. Luckily, she was reading your chats so she didn't notice; but your dick definitely did.
"Perfect, you are out of game. Now we can watch 'Sound Track #1'" Dani said. Dani was used lounging on you and just in general being very touchy with you tracing back to the early years of your friendship, so of course she decided to sit in her "favorite spot" as she likes to say and plopped down on your lap. Feeling her weight on you, you prayed for her to not notice your growing erection and that your erection would go away. Either didn't notice your boner or didn't care because right after sitting down on your lap she started to wiggle around in her words "in order to get comfortable because you can't just sit down on a random sear, you need to make it your own". Her wiggling only made your problem worse since her movements caused her ass to softly grind against your dick which just caused your dick to get even harder. Thankfully, she seemingly still didn't notice about your issue. Having finally gotten comfortable, Dani started the first episode.
While watching the show, Dani grabbed your hands and moved them to hold her waist. Feeling your tiny waist only got you harder. After letting your hands rest on her waist for a bit, she then moved your hands to feel her exposed stomach. Absentmindedly, she started to have your hands rub her abs. This caused you to groan because it was taking everything in your power to not sport a full on erection. Hearing you groan, Dani turned her head towards you and asked if something is wrong. Looking down to respond to her, you are once again entranced by her braless tits. Snapping out of it, you respond and tell her that you're all good. Sensing that you were holding something back, Dani pushed your chair back from the desk and turned her whole body so she could face you. While it was nice to be able to talk to her face to face, this new position she was in on your lap also meant that she was straddling you. Unable to form a sentence, you just sat there looking like a deer in headlights.
You then here a soft "asshole" come out of Dani's mouth before she got off your lap and dragged you to her bed before she shoved you onto it. Stunned, you sat on her bed confused about what was happening. Then Dani shocked you by straddling you once again and shoving you to lay back on her bed before hovering over you. "You're such an asshole and you are lucky I am me" she said before capturing your lips with hers. Once the initial shock wore out, you started to match the ferocity of Dani's attack on your lips. Finally coming up for air, you started to form a sentence but were then quickly silenced when Dani lifted her tank top over head to free her perky little tits for your eyes to feast on. Being a little quicker on your feet than before, you quickly capture her right tit with your mouth while massaging her right tit. This caused to Dani to release a load moan. Making sure to give the right tit equal love, you started to switch which tit you had in your mouth intermittently.
Eventually Dani was able to tear you off her tits. Grabbing your face to force you to look at her, you find her eyes filled with equal parts love and lust. Sensing that she wanted or more accurately needed more and aided by your own need, you quickly flip you and her so she was now laying on her back. Tearing your shirt off, you go to once again kiss her; but before you can, she puts a hand on your chest. "I need your cock now". Hearing this, you quickly discard your pants and underwear, leaving you bare, before slowly peeling off her skirt. While peeling off her skirt, you come face to face with her bare, shaven pussy coated with her wetness. Seeing your focus being redirected, Dani made sure you remembered the mission on hand "hey lover boy, remember what you are supposed to be doing aka burying that cock of yours in my virgin pussy". Hearing that gave you pause, seeing this Dani lifted your face to hers again and said "Yes, this is going to be my first time Y/N; but I want it, no I need it to be with you right now. It was always supposed to be you". Not giving you a chance to respond, she once again captured your lips with hers. Feeling the weight behind her response along with the affirmation of this kiss, you softly remove your lips from hers and line your cock up with her soaking entrance.
Looking at her for one last confirmation, she looks at you and gives you a loving nod. Seeing this, you slowly start to enter her. Every inch is a battle to not cum. She is the tightest and warmest thing you have ever been (although to be fair, this is also your first time so you have nothing to compare it to); but you swear this must be what heaven is like. After you are able to fully enter her, you start to slowly move back and forth in her. This causes Dani to start moaning even louder. Hearing this spurs you on until eventually you start to thrust into her without abandon saying "Mine Mine Mine" over and over. Hearing you constantly vocalizing your possessiveness over her, Dani matches your words "Yours Yours Yours". Grabbing your face, she makes sure you make eye contact her while burying your length in her over and over again. "I am yours and you are mine. Always" she says. Feeling the tightness in your stomach, you warn Dani of your impending release barely mustering a full sentence "Baby, where do you want it?" "Inside baby inside. I need it all please. please. Breed me. Mark me as yours" The combination of her cunt along with her moans and begging, you start to fill her with spurt after spurt of your cum. Feeling you start to fill her, trigger's Dani's orgasm. You two fill Dani's cunt with so much of your combined cum that it starts to leak out of her. Exhausted, you once again flip you two over so you are on your back and Dani is laying on your chest. You two lay there panting for a few minutes before Dani spoke up: "I can feel us leaking out of me" Hearing that filthy language come out of Dani's mouth, that causes your dick to twitch. Feeling the twitch of your cock which is still buried in her cunt and acting as a plug to keep your combined release inside of her comb, Dani releases a soft moan. 'Fuck you feel so perfect inside of me Y/N. God you are just the perfect fit for me. All nice and snug keeping all of your cum in me. I can feel it sloshing around in me. God you came so much that I might've gotten pregnant". The mixture of her dirty talk and the tightness of her cunt causes your dick to harden again.
"Already ready to go again stud?" Dani asked while having a large smirk on her face. "Fuck Dani, if you felt what I am feeling right now, then you would be too". "Don't forgot who you are inside baby. But before you can breed this tight little pussy again, we need to talk or at least pre talk. I like you Y/N, no I love you Y/N. Not just as a friend but as much much more. I think I have known that I wanted you to be more than a friend since the beginning of the 7th grade when that bitch Moka asked you to the dance. And I know you love me too. You think you are able to hide it; but I see the longing look in your eyes when you look at me. I notice all the little things you to do make my life better and I love that you know me better than anyone else knows me." Hearing that caused you to smile because you finally started to realize that it wasn't impossible for you and Dani to be more than friends and actually your relationship with her was seemingly destined to be far more than just friendship. "But those are not the only looks I see Y/N. I see the lust in your eyes when we are at the beach or pool and I'm in a bikini. I see how you look at me when I wear leggings or pants that hug my ass just right. And of course I see the way you try to devour me with your eyes when I wear a tank top or tight shirt that shows off my tits and abs. But don't worry babe. I love those looks. Why do you think I wear so little around you? My bikinis that magically get tinier and tinier every time we go swimming just us two and can barely cover my tits and ass. Those were bought on purpose. Me constantly finding reasons to bend over right in front of you when I'm wearing leggings. Planned. Lastly, making sure to 'forget' to wear a bra and panties and wearing the tightest tops and tiniest skirts possible that always ride up and I never fix. Completely fucking planned baby." "You fucking minx" you replied while chuckling.
"Please don't act like you didn't love it Y/N. Like you didn't love seeing my bare tits under my shirt or the feeling of my ass on your dick. The friction when I squired on your lap while you had a hard on." "Maybe I did Dani". "Fuck you, of course you did. When I say this next thing I want you to remember that I love you; but god damn it Y/N. You couldn't pick up on any of my signs. God loving you is so frustrating sometimes. Fuck." Hearing how annoyed and frustrated she was, caused you to smirk. Seeing that only set Dani off more. "Really Y'N. Well fuck you. You are going to spend this entire weekend and honestly your entire life making it up to me. But first you are going to give me at least two more loads tonight before we go to sleep. Then tomorrow we are going on our first date as a couple. Okay?". Instead of giving her a response, instead you flip you two over again so she on her back making sure to keep you two connected. "Dani, I don't plan on doing anything this weekend aside from filling you with so much cum that it's impossible I don't breed you. Are you sure you can handle the feeling of being filled by load after load. Cause trust me, the only time my cock won't be buried inside you is when we are in public because while I do love you Dani, I also love the fact your cunt is nothing but my fucking perfect little cock sleeve." "You sure talk a big game Y/N. You sure you can follow it up?" "Fuck you Dani" "That's the plan" she responded while smirking.
Let's just say that you overdelivered on your promise that night and that weekendā¦
#kpop smut#kpop x male reader#kpop x reader#male reader#newjeans smut#danielle smut#danielle marsh#newjeans danielle
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Ėāā§ ą¬³ WHEN + WHY ENHYPEN STARTED LIKING THEIR IDOL! S/O



pairing: idol!enhypen x fem idol!reader, genre: fluff, requested!! enha realizing they're down bad
ā heeseung
when he saw you perform
he was absolutely stunned by your stage presence. you carried yourself with so much confidence that it was hard to not notice you. the way your hair swayed in the air whenever you moved and the way your lips curved into a smile did things to him more than he liked to admit. after finding out your name, he was guilty of looking you up on google and stalking your instagram. the members would hear him giggling, and they would instantly know it was because he was watching videos of you.
ā jay
when both of you appeared on a variety show together
it just so happened that you two had to be paired up for the whole episode. literally. connected by a bracelet, you had to walk, eat, do missionsā everything together. he didnāt think much about it at first, but he found himself smiling when he saw you skip so excitedly, dragging him with you. and when you wiped the bit of pasta sauce off his lips, his heart started beating a little faster. your chemistry with him was off the charts, and all he wished was for your on-screen romance to become a reality.
ā jake
when you filmed a tiktok together
he thought you were cute trying to learn the choreo for āXOā. you couldnāt quite get the hand movements right, prompting him to gently touch and guide your hands. maybe it was the close proximity, the warmth of your hands, or the way your eyes met, but there was this unexplainable tension that filled the room. he quickly looked away, hoping you didnāt see the creeping blush on his face. although the filming went smoothly, he kept replaying those moments with you in his head.
ā sunghoon
when both of you were special mcs
seeing how pretty you are up close made something spark in his heart. he kept stealing glances at you while you were practicing your lines. he chuckled at the slight pout you would make when you made a mistake, which you playfully glared at him for. the first thing he did after the show was look on social media to see if fans captured any cute moments between you two. normally idols want to avoid being shipped with other idols, but the idea didn't sound too bad to him if it was with you.
ā sunoo
when he saw you with another male idol
you two have been close friends since childhood. your friendship was well known in the industry, and strictly platonic. it wasnāt until he saw you talking and laughing with another male idol that he started to feel a little jealous. that guy didnāt know what makes you laugh most, nor your deepest secrets like he did. and why was he leaning so close to you? he wanted to brush his feelings aside, but imagining you with someone else didnāt sit right with him...
ā jungwon
when he saw you practicing
back in his pre-debut days, you were his sworn enemy. you two competed for the top trainee spot, always trying to one up each other. after both of you debuted, one day he peered into your practice room window, but something felt wrong. watching you as an idol made him suddenly see you in a different light. your messy hair no longer looked stupid, but rather hot. your annoying voice was now something that made him feel giddy just hearing it. he could deny it as much as he wanted to, but the heart never lies.
ā ni-ki
when you did a collab stage together
he was already aware you were one of the best dancers in the idol industry, so he looked forward to working with you. but what impressed him was how you were so kind to him, always looking after him and complimenting him. he remained calm up until the choreography that required your faces to be mere centimeters apart. you had to be in his arms, maintaining eye contact, but he couldnāt look at you without internally panicking. you were attractive, and he wondered how one could be so perfect inside and out.
#emās works !!#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen fic#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen imagines#enhypen reactions#enhypen headcanons#enhypen scenarios#enhypen heeseung#enhypen soft hours#enhypen jay#enhypen jake#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen sunoo#enhypen jungwon#enhypen niki#enhypen x reader#heeseung x reader#jay x reader#jake x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunoo x reader#jungwon x reader#niki x reader
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