#while our thoughts are on Starbucks & Target runs

[femme-dor]

Men love to believe women do everything with men in mind. Aiming to impress them. Especially in public. In reality, no woman wastes her thoughts on dorks with insecurities who don’t respect her. She would never choose such a miserable existence.

[kyufessions]

target run

synopsis: shopping with chenle can be exhausting, especially for your first apartment together

genre: fluff + angst with a happy ending

word count: 1.2k

pairings: non-idol, boyfriend! chenle x g.n. reader

a/n: falling down the chenle rabbit hole lately. sigh.

general taglist: @jwnghyuns • @eaudenana • @soobin-chois

One hour in and you were already growing a bit irritated with your boyfriend. Although you loved shopping, shopping with chenle was nearly impossible at times. When it came to where to shop, chenle liked more expensive stores while you like stores like target, ikea, places where everyone automatically thinks of when shopping for clothes or even furniture. Chenle prefers the luxury stores that are long out of the way; normally you would agree to go out of curiosity since you didn't grow up around that type of lifestyle, but today you insisted on taking him to target. And you were already regretting it. Sure, shopping for your first apartment together wasn't going to be easy but oh my gosh you didn't expect so much back and forth.

“How about this desk? I think it’d be great for the at-home office.” you suggested, eyeing a wooden desk with bottom drawers on each side that could fit a bunch of files from both of your jobs. Squatting down, you point out the bottom drawers and how wide the surface seems to be. “I think it could fit under the windowsill perfectly, too. And there seems to be a lot of space-”

“No, not enough space.” he says, not even giving it a glance. His eyes stayed glued to his phone as he scrolled doing whatever he was doing, eyes focused on his screen. “How about this one? It has drawer space on the top and is a two tiered one- each of us can have our own tier on the desk.”

Standing up with a sigh, you peak over his shoulder and look at the expensive desk. It was cherry wood and even though it was really nice, it was also really expensive- almost one thousand for it. “It's nice but-”

“Then let's buy it instead of this thing.” he starts pointing to the desk you were just referencing. “Or any of these,” his fingers starting pointing to each of the desks that target had to offer.

You just rolled your eyes and looked at the other desks, making a mental note of your favorite ones before moving onto the next aisle.

Hour two and Chenle was following behind you, continuing to scroll on his phone and finding bookshelves online he preferred and were more expensive. It's not that chenle liked buying expensive things just because he could, he just thought more expensive = better quality; he's stuck by that all his life.

“Babe, what about this one?” chenle asks, turning his phone to face you.

You turned to look at him with hope, thinking he had found a shelf he actually liked in this store. When you were met with his phone inches from your face, you just groaned and started walking away as you spoke, “you’re unbelieve, chenle.”

He grabs the shopping cart filled with nothing but hangers and bed liners, following behind you. “It's not that serious.”

Turning on your heel, you stop the cart with your hand and lean forward with annoyance steaming off of you. “You’re right, its not. But I just asked for one thing: to pick some furniture out at target. That's all I wanted. And you can’t even agree with me on one thing for our first apartment. It might not seem important right now, but how you are reacting now could be a potential prediction of the future when it comes to other situations-”

“Woah woah, y/n.” chenle interrupted, quickly being interrupted himself.

“And stop interrupting me, I hate that. Just,” pausing, you took a quick harsh breath in. “Just let me be by myself for a bit.”

Hour three and you sat at the starbucks by yourself, reading a book you bought in the entertainment section just to pass the time. Normally you don't tend to get upset by such things, but with your last semester creeping up, your job overworking you before the semester starts, and this move-in with your long time boyfriend it’s all starting to pile on top of each other and mix together. You had asked chenle for one thing: to pick out some furniture from target. Not all, of course. But some stuff for the second bedroom in your apartment you were going to turn into an at home office for you both to use when needed. Chenle was hesitant at first but after explaining it would only be for that one room, he agreed.

In your relationship with him, everything was always equal- everything was quite lovely. Not in the past three years have you ever had a huge argument like this, especially in public. Communication has always been you and chenle’s strongest suit, so arguments were minimal and worked out right away.

When the forty minute mark almost hit, chenle got in line at the starbucks and ordered himself a refresher and bought you your favorite flavored cake pop. once he retrieved both, he sat down across from you as he slid the cake pop in your direction. Startled, you looked up cautiously and saw your boyfriend with a shy grin- unsure of how to start the conversation. For a few seconds you just stare at one another, not a word being said or any specific facial expressions being shared.

“I’m sorry.” was all you heard from him as you took the cake pop out of the bag. looking up, you motioned for him to continue as you took a bite from the ear of the so-called ‘bee’. he cleared his throat, pushing back his hair out of nervousness. “I just like giving you what you didn’t have growing up; I want to give you everything I'm able to.”

Nodding, you quickly swallow a small piece of your cake pop before responding. “I appreciate the chenle, but i still feel bad when you pay for things. And now that I have a somewhat decent paying job, I want to pay you back for everything you've done for me these past three years.” gradually reaching for his hand, you begin rubbing small circles into the back of it. Neither of you were one for any extent of PDA, but in this moment it just felt right to do. “I appreciate you looking out for me, baby. But next time can you explain that to me instead of being an asshole? I was about to fight you in the home goods aisle of target of all places. I, unfortunately, do not want to be known as the couple who fought in the middle of the target.”

Chenle chuckles, his heart warming smile causing your heart to skip a beat. Three years and you never got sick of seeing it- you hope to see that smile for the rest of your life. “What couple do you want to be known as?” He follows you to the garbage and grabs your book, putting it in the top part of the shopping cart he had with him.

Playfully thinking as you throw your garbage away and start walking towards the forbidden home goods section, you turn to him with a small grin. “The annoying, crazy couple with three cats and two dogs.”

He nods, following behind you with the cart and that same smile. “I'd like that.”

[mialikeshockey]

Sweater Weather - Aiden McCarthy

“We have to get matching sweaters for Cams fall party.” I say to Aiden as I run my fingers through his messy hair. “Depends on what kind…I don’t want the ones that feel stuffy.” He explains. “Well, it won’t be stuffy. It will be cute! Can we please do it. Case and Gav are too single to be making fun of you for anything.”

“It’s not that I care about them making fun of my relationship. I couldn’t care less about that, I just don’t want a stuffy sweater to wear to our friends party.” He moves his head to the other side of my chest. “We can do the sweaters, as long as I can help pick them out.” He basically mumbles into my chest.

I hum in response. Aiden lays there for a bit before he falls asleep. I slowly reach over to my book on the side table, and start to read.

Before I could fully turn my next page, Case and Gavin walk in the front door; laughing and being extremely loud. They walk into the front room and I shake my head: pointing down at sleeping Aiden. They start to let out quiet giggles. “He’s such a baby.” Gavin says, sitting in the chair next to the couch.

Aiden holds me tighter and moves a bit, I throw a pillow at Gavin. “What was that for?!” He throws it back at me, missing; thankfully. “Your brother is trying to sleep and you’re being rude. Go hang out with Case or when me and Aiden make pumpkin rolls, you won’t be able to have any.” Gavin sighs and gets up.

Aiden puts his head up a bit to look at me, “Thank you.” He says softly. I kiss the top of his head and rub his back. “We need to go look at sweaters soon, you know? Cams party is tonight.”

“I know, but I just wanna lay here for a bit. Hockeys been exhausting.” He gets up and holds his hand out to help me out of the couch. “You didn’t have to get up, we could’ve stayed for a bit.”

“Knowing you, we are gonna be at the store for a bit; so let’s just go now.” Aiden laughs as I hit the side of his arm. “Wow, okay. Last time I ever take you anywhere with me while shopping.”

We get our shoes on and head out the door to get the sweaters. We weren’t going to go to the party in the first place, but at the last minute we decided to go and have a bit of fun before we have to go back down to Florida.

—

“What about this?” Aiden holds up two light tan sweaters. I nod and we head to the check out. While Aiden pays, I walk over to the Starbucks that’s in Target. I get Aiden and I’s drinks and meet him back at the car.

“How much do you wanna bet, Case and Gavin ate all the cookies we made yesterday?” Aiden says connecting my phone to the aux. “Wouldn’t doubt it, hopefully they saved us some.” We both let out a laugh.

—

liked by _aidenmccarthy, cameron.rose and others

_hazel.kennedy finally got someone to match sweaters with me but won’t let me post the pictures!

_aidenmccarthy who is that fine babe on the last photo

^ _gavinmccarthy looks like a bum

^ _hazel.kennedy found him on the side of the road, thought he was cute so I took him home

casemccarthy_ thank you for sending them to the gc

^ _hazel.kennedy he wasn’t supposed to know that.

^ _aidenmccarthy now that’s just insane.

_aidenmccarthy beautiful

^ cameron.rose I had her first

^ _aidenmccarthy who r u

lizmcc78 so cute!

^ _hazel.kennedy i miss you!

_gavinmccarthy might wanna go get some more cookies

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—

I have been extremely inactive this week bc of homework and the amount of naps I’ve been taking but imma try to post more

Brooklyn wanted me to bully case in this but I couldn’t think of anything, d1 case hater right there

[lovechrisowen]

-movie night-

Fluff!!

Chris x reader

Warnings:none

Think this is a little short but..it’s fine. :)

Me and chris have been dating for about 4 months. Even thought we’ve passed the flirting stage, he still finds a way to make butterflies build in my stomach.

As I’m sitting on the couch of the triplets house I hear him call my name. “Y/N!!” “Yess?” I call from the couch. I don’t hear a response realizing that I now have to walk up to his bedroom.

As I creak open the door I see him laying on the bed covered up in the blanket.

“Heyy, why’d you call me up here?” I asked.

He turned in the covers now facing me with a cute smile across his face.

“Nothingg..” he said softly.

“Then why’d you call me up here baby?” I say slightly laughing.

“I wanted to see my beautiful amazing girlfriend obviouslyy” he says in a sassy tone. I blush at his gestures. How can he make me nervous still to this day?

He scoots over in the bed making space for me to join him. I kick off my shoes and get into the bed. As I get under the covers he looks at me with the cutest smile. We begin to cuddle. I feel his warmth against my body, I can smell the cologne on his neck and chest. I rest my head against his chest as we just take in the moment.

After a couple minutes he leans over, now being able to feel like breath against my ear.

“Want to..maybe….watch a movie with me and get snacks?” He says.

I look up at him, his eyes staring into mine. Oh how I love this man.

“Of course baby!” I say excitedly.

-

We walk out of the front door and chris starts to run to the passenger seat. He opens the door and waits for me to sit in the car.

“Madam” he says clutching his chest.

I giggle at his gestures as he walked to the drivers side and sits down starting the car. He connects his phone to the Bluetooth playing our shared playlist.

As we drive to to the store, we sing along to the songs playing in the car, holding hands, and putting on glasses and hats we found in the car. Soon after, we pulled into the target parking lot. Chris and I went to get a shopping cart as we began to enter the store.

“Oooh! Can we get Starbucks baby?” I ask chris with a smirk on my face.

“Sure!” Chris says.

We get into the line looking at the menu, although I didn’t need too look to much as I already knew what I wanted.

“You know what you want babe?” I ask glancing at chris.

“Hmm..no..not really. Just get me something you think I’d like.”

“Okie dokie!”

-

We started heading to the snack section, as expected. Walking down the isles, hand in hand.

“What snacks were you thinking chris?”

“I’m not too sure…OOH! we should make cookies for sure though..” he says with a big smile on his face.

“Oooh that sounds good baby, let’s find the cookie dough!”

We head to the refrigerated area as we searched for the cookie dough.

“FOUND IT!!” chris yells as he tosses it into the shopping cart.

“Ok ok let’s go find some chips.”

-

We pulled into the driveway and brought the bags into the house.

“Babe let’s make the cookies first so we can get everything else ready while they’re cooking.” I say.

“Okay baby” he says. His smile melts me.

We get everything set up and take it all to his room. And get in the bed together.

“What movie do you want to watch?” He asks.

“Anything babe.”

“Uhhh…how about….how about beauty and the beast!”

“That sounds good baby”

He searches for the movie and finally clicks play. We both bring ourselves closer to eachother and i rest my head on his chest as he plants a kiss on my forehead.

“I love you” he says.

“I love you too chris.”

OKAYY soft chris is actually my fav😽 too cute

(Comment if you wanna be added to a tag list)

[truthnado]

Minimum Wage Rage or How Gov. Gavin Newsom tried to exempt a Big Donor f...

It's time for another Truthnado!   

We're gonna start off with a Truthnado fact right off the bat.  Uh, according to a quick Google search,  the average age of a fast food worker in America is 35.  It's not just 16 year olds makin fast food weed money anymore. Average age is 35. 

Lawmakers in California realized this and thought, "You know,  fast food workers should make a decent living.  They should get 20 an hour" 

 NBC 4 NEWS: After years of protests, restaurant chains with more than 60 locations nationwide must now pay their California employees at least 20 an hour. It's one of the highest minimum wages in the country and the first time state lawmakers have mandated a minimum wage for just one industry. If a Company has more than 60 establishments nationwide.  ��

Uh, fast food people heard this. They're like, "Okay, if you're going to raise the minimum wage, $20, we're going to lay off a lot of people. We're going to raise prices. We're going to not open new places, move out of state. 

NBC 4 News: Supporters say it's time for the billion dollar corporations to pay a living wage. How's it going?  But many franchise owners, like Jessica D'Ambra, who runs 11 McDonald's around LA, say the law puts an unfair strain on their businesses already operating on slim margins. Do you feel targeted that it's specifically for fast food? 

Franchise Owner: Yes. And I think people just don't realize that. They see this big McDonald's brand and just think, oh, they've got all the money in the world. And it's just, that's not. at all how it is.   

Uh, lawmakers in California said,  "It'll be fine." So they raised the minimum wage to $20 an hour,  which is good for people who were able to keep their jobs. NBC NEWS 4: Mc Donalds, Chipotle and Starbucks all plan to raise prices to cover costs. Pizza Hut preemptively fired 1200 delivery drivers.  What's the point of the raise if you don't have a job anymore? 

The big, uh, fast food companies did exactly what they said they would. They raised prices, they laid a lot of people off, they shut some places down, and they're not opening more and they're moving out of state. Uh, now some of you may know I'm a Chicago guy, but my partner in this, uh, lives in L. A. and he can confirm that a Big Mac out in L.A. costs over $10 bucks. About three bucks more than it does in Chicago.   

So while, uh, it was a nice gesture to try to give people a living wage, um,  

The Truthnado is,  it hurt a lot of business. A lot of people lost their jobs

and you know, the, uh,  these fast food places, the corporations didn't shell out the money. These are franchise. So franchisee owners have to shell out the money.  Uh, and they may not have the biggest margins. 

But the governor is also facing backlash about Panera Bread and California's minimum wage law. NBC4 chief political reporter Conan Nolan asked him about it during a one on one interview. Conan joins us now live from our newsroom. Conan. First, the clock is ticking for the governor of California involving the state's new minimum wage law for fast food workers. Fast food workers.

That it's a friend of Gavin Newsom who doesn't have to pay the 20 an hour minimum wage. And it turns out, A, it's not true. He never talked to me about it. Period. Full stop. So it's an absurd story. 

He doesn’t have to talk to you about it. There were some discussions around bakeries and this and that, but in relationship to this story, it's absurd. It's a coincidence that the, uh, that this new, Minimum wage law did not impact a campaign contributor of yours. 

Newsom: It does impact.  Uh, the backup to that, so here's the problem, is that the law impacted just, uh, it, those who work for fast food restaurant chains. 

There was a provision in it that singled out those who make standalone bread products, bakery products, and that it appeared, according to Bloomberg News, who did a deep dive into it, to have helped the governor's friend, uh, a guy named Greg Floyd, who is a,  runs two dozen different Panera Bread restaurants in California. 

So I don't have a fun way to wrap this up, but, uh, like, share, subscribe, and  Some people say, uh, not everyone's worth 20 bucks. 

Shot of Gavin Newsom. 

[robinofgothamcity]

♡ scenario: meeting dick's ex girlfriend and it going awkwardly well

♡ characters: jason todd ( red hood ) x fem! reader

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / i'm sorry but have yall seen that comparison of Jason Todd from Titans to the comics that the DC Titans twit made? bc every time i look at it, it takes me out. my twitter groupchat have slaughtering it all night :').

you in Dick's apartment, fiddling with a few of his weapons as he sternly told you to put it down before you hurt yourself. you, clearly not bothering to listen, continued to fiddle with the batarang as it managed to hit you on the nose. in between Dick's laugh, he wheezed out an 'I told you so'.

"fuck off, when are we going to your dad's place?" you asked, "I want to get back home before we get back to our apartments later than we already are," you mumbled, getting up and grabbing your keys.

Dick ushered you out the door, murmuring that he'd buy you a coffee on the way to Gotham as compensation for helping his family out. you were Dick's ex girlfriend and although the two of you ended on friendly terms, you managed to know his families secret and thus, you decided to help Dick out with his hero work in Bludhaven.

the two of you had realized a while into the relationship that neither of you were really into each other romantically. it felt a bit forced with the kisses and dates and a part of you saw the way Dick felt about his ex still. you weren't mad at the way he felt about Barbara but you could tell that he still had feelings for her and you didn't want him to deny his true feelings for her anymore.

both of you hopped into your car and made your way over to his father's place. you had met Bruce a while back when you were dating Dick and by extension, you had met Dick's younger brother Damian. he was still a bit of a prick to you every time you met him but Dick had told you that Damian was just that way with everyone. you had a few interactions with Duke and Cassie from time to time but it was only when they stopped by. the only two you had yet to meet were Dick's two younger brothers, Tim and Jason.

you had heard stories about them it wasn't anything too crazy. all you knew was that Tim was a bit on the shyer side and Jason was the one with the crazy backstory. they hadn't told you everything about Jason but you did know that Jason was dead at one point and managed to come back. how? you didn't know and frankly, you didn't want to know. knowing that this world was filled with superheroes from out of this world and held supernatural abilities was enough for you.

by the time you arrived to Bruce's place, you had Dick take in your back pack as you sipped away on the Starbucks he had bought for you. Dick entered through the batcave, waving a hello to everyone as you saw Damian and gave the little gremlin a smirk before chasing him for a hug.

"get away from me you peasant," Damian screamed, grabbing his blade and pointing it at you. you laughed, sitting down on his chair, "aww, and to think I thought you'd be happy to see me!" you giggled, taking your laptop out of your bag with a few other things.

you noticed that there was another person in the room that you hadn't familiarized yourself with and got up, "hi, I'm ( your name ), Dick's work partner," you said, stretching your hand out for him, "and the pain in my ass." you rolled your eyes as the man chuckled, "I'm Jason," he replied. his voice alone made the hair on your arms raise in goosebumps as you found his voice extremely attractive, "pleasure," you responded, trying not to sound nervous.

Dick wasn't the smartest of all brothers, clearly but it didn't exactly take an idiot to see the way you immediately acted around Jason. he noticed the way you pulled yourself back a bit as Jason stood up to give you a proper hello. when he first met you, you were instantly the confident person you always were but this time, you were pulling yourself back a bit.

"so, how did you meet Dick?" Jason asked. you laughed, "we're partners at work and I even dated the asshole for a while," Dick whipped his head around as you heard Damian hollering from laughter, "I'm right here!" he exclaimed. you rolled your playfully, "please, I heard the way you talk about me to Barbara," you pressed, making Dick slump down in his seat in shame.

Jason laughed at the way you managed to make Dick fall back. he had never seen someone do that to him before and frankly, he kind of liked the way you poked at Dick a bit. everyone knew he was the easiest target to mess with but it seemed as though you were professional at it, just like Damian was.

"so, who are the ones on patrol tonight?" Bruce asked, getting up. Damian and Dick raised their hands as they all looked to Jason, "you're still hurt from your previous run in so you will be sitting this one out Master Jason," Alfred spoke up. you saw the way Jason wanted to argue but Alfred gave him the 'you better not try it' look.

"you can stay with her," Dick offered, slipping into his suit, "she's helping out with communication tonight since Tim is off doing work with the Titans." you gave Jason a wave of encouragement as he agreed, not as excited as you thought he'd be. you shrugged it off, waving everyone off with a 'be careful' lecture.

the batcave went silent as Alfred had offered to bring the both of you coffee for the long night. you were sitting across from Jason, your legs crossed as you slipped in your headphone into one ear to make sure you could hear what Damian, Dick, and Bruce were saying clearly. you cracked your neck, trying to make it unstiff as you gave the three of them their coordinates of where they were to meet if they all separated....which was the first thing they did.

"so, why did you and Dick break up?" Jason asked suddenly. you lifted your head up, "oh, we just realized we were better off as friends," you replied, "everything felt kind of forced and a bit weird so we figured it was best to just be friends before it got any weirder."

Jason nodded, smiling underneath his stoic face. he knew he wanted to make a move on you but realized it was a slimey thing to do so quick. he hadn't known the real reason to the break up but figured since you were still friends with Dick, it clearly meant that there were no hard feelings, especially when Dick was trying his time again with Barbara.

the two of you remained silent, sipping away on water and coffee. a few yawns crossed your face as you tried to keep yourself awake. this wasn't the first time Dick had you doing this but you hadn't went strictly from work to Dick's place and didn't get the chance to take a nap before leaving. Jason saw the way you were fighting off your sleep and chuckled.

"tired?" he asked. you nodded slowly, "long day and an even longer day tomorrow," you replied. you saw your phone ping up with text messages as you let out a groan of annoyance, "something wrong?" Jason asked, seeing the way messages came in left and right.

you flipped the phone over, "it's dumb. some guy I was seeing hasn't stopped messaging me ever since I gave him my number and even when I told him I wasn't interested, he still kept going," you confessed, wanting nothing more than to chuck your phone against the wall to make it stop.

Jason thought for a moment. he could play this one of two ways. one: trying to give you mature, adult advice or two: being the petty teenager he used to once be. "wanna try to get him back?" he asked, quickly checking the communicators and cameras to make sure everything was still okay. you nodded your head a bit slowly, not knowing what he was hinting at.

Jason grabbed your phone, quickly taking a photo before writing a few thing down and sending it. your eyes widened, seeing what he wrote out.

"might wanna stop texting the girl who has no interest in you."

you gave Jason a look as he laughed, "what?" he asked, going back to the cameras and communicators. after a while, you got a message that they were heading back to the cave as others took their place. you clapped in tired happiness as you shut the computers down and put every thing into your bad so you and Dick could head out as quickly as possible.

"leaving already?" Jason poked playfully. you smiled, "I have work in the morning and I doubt you'd want to spend anymore time with me," you joked back. Jason grabbed your phone again, this time putting his number into your phone before shooting himself a message.

"you couldn't even wait a day?" Dick said as he got out of the batmobile. you shrugged playfully, "what can I say? your brother is hot," you responded, waving your phone with his number in it. Jason choked on his spit as Damian gagged, "gross, keep that shit to yourself," Damian yelled, slamming the door of the batcave as he made his way to his room.

you gave Jason a wink goodbye before getting into Dick's car.

"see ya soon sweetheart."

[jatphatones]

Valentine Vlogs | Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Valentine Vlogs | Charlie Gillespie x Reader

A/N: this is a request by @babydork10 and a submission for @cherrymaybank Valentine’s Day Fic Party! I hope you all enjoy the fluffy love and I’m sending you love this weekend 💜

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: that good good fluff

Masterlist

||||||

“Hey everybody! It’s Y/N here with another unoriginal youtube introduction and I’m joined with my roommate Charlie Gillespie!”

“Did you just introduce me as your roommate babe? I’m your boyfriend!”

You turn to the boy standing right next to you with a playful expression. The sunlight shining behind your camera is doing wonders, making Charlie’s pouty lips seem fuller than normal. You prop your camera on the kitchen counter and relax in front of it while Charlie walks around you. He’s making his infamous pancakes to get you ready for the day. Meanwhile, you busy yourself with making your individual coffees and placing it in his hands with an apologetic peck on the cheek.

“Anyways, as you all know I’m a huge romantic so Valentine’s Day is my time to shine, and I would like to share this exciting day with you! I’m gonna run some errands for the holiday like get baking ingredients, send some cards to my friends, and other things but mainly go to Target because I’m basic and I love Target.” Charlie turns around from the stove and gives the camera a dramatic nod and eye roll from behind you. You bump your butt back against him in retaliation and he just swats you away with the spatula.

“And what about me? I’m supposed to be spending Valentine’s Day with you! I’m coming with,” Charlie declares with another cheeky swat to your backside.

“But I still have to prepare some of my gifts,” you whine. He places a plate of delicious pancakes in front of you and you almost cry when you smell them.

“But I made you pancakes and I need to get some things for tonight’s dinner too.”

“Wow, we are so ready to celebrate Valentine’s day,” you sarcastically hold both your mugs up to each other and giggle at your antics. “Fine. You’re lucky you’re a good cook and that you’re cute.”

“You’re cute too, baby.”

“Whatever.”

-

The camera shows you fumbling around as you try to set it up on the car’s dashboard. When you finally have it propped up, it captures Charlie mouthing along to the background music, sipping on a drink. You can see the Target logo just outside of your window.

“So I keep forgetting that we can’t just drink Starbucks while walking around the store because we have to keep our masks on, so we’re both chilling in the parking lot until we finish them,” you punctuate your statement with a loud sip of your drink, “so I thought it would be a great time to do a Q&A with the lovely Charlie Gillespie.”

“That’s me!” your boyfriend obnoxiously screams. The camera perfectly catches your wince just in the corner as he comes right up to the lens with a wide smile. When he sits back down, he still has the same clownlike smile as you lightly hit him with your phone.

“Y’all have asked a lot of questions regarding our relationship and we figured Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to finally answer them.”

“Okay, Y/N, ask away,” Charlie settles down in his seat and eagerly waits for the first question.

“Alright, how did you two meet? Mutual friend at a concert. I was friends with Owen when he lived in LA for his tv show. I saw him with Charlie and we all decided to stand together for the concert. I don’t even remember which concert it was because it was so long ago, but it was so much fun.”

“It was The Band Camino!”

“Right! Oh my god do you remember the taco place we went to afterwards?”

“Oh yeah! Those were so good! We have to go back sometime.” You both take a second to look back on those delicious $2 tacos and then get back to your questionnaire.

“How long have you been dating? Almost four years!” you smile into the camera, “what annoys you about each other? Um, I don’t think I can answer-”

“She sheds hair EVERYWHERE.” Charlie’s rude comment draws out a noncommittal noise from you.

“YOU’RE ONE TO TALK BABE. I WOULD SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU.” He doesn’t even argue back because he knows it’s true. Your vacuum cleaner can attest to both your statements.

“What’s your favorite thing about each other?” you squint at Charlie, “how about we answer for each other?”

Charlie nods and you lose yourself in thought. You couldn’t think of your one favorite thing because there’s obviously many things that you love about your goofy boyfriend. Like how he’s a great cook, how he’s a phenomenal musician, how he-

“She loves how fucking hot I am.” You give him the perfect death glare while he innocently sips away at his drink, looking out his window. When he slowly turns back to you, your mouth quirks up at the sight of his deepened dimples. You shake your head at him and he speaks up again, “I’m kidding. She loves how passionate I am about everything.”

“And he loves how loving I can be. And how fucking hot I am.”

“That’s right!”

“Alright, we finally finished our drinks, so now let’s waste money at Target!” You both put on your matching masks and leave the car.

-

As you walk down the baking aisle, you turn the camera back on, bringing it up to your covered face as you search the shelves for ingredients.

“So, I need ingredients for cookies. I told Charlie that I was going to make chocolate chip ones, but I’m making red velvet ones because it’s Valentine’s Day. Okay now where are the…” You get all the ingredients that you need with a few more holiday decorations in your cart.

“While I was shopping, I - surprise, surprise - lost Charlie. He’s probably in the video games section... Really? Another game? You’re literally in the middle of playing one at home right now!” you yell when you finally spot Charlie a few feet deep in the video games aisle.

The camera pans from your amused face to his embarrassed one. Your boyfriend is frozen in place, hand hovering over the shelf with his other one already holding a game. He looks like a deer caught in headlights, which is something you’ve seen him looking like many times before. Knowing that you’re right, he sets it down with a pout and trudges over to you. He places the other things he was holding into your cart while looking through what you grabbed.

“You don’t need another candle. You already have so many candles!” Charlie scoffs, holding up the pink candle to the camera as proof that you’re not any better than him.

“But it’s holiday themed!”

“If you can get a candle, then I get my game.”

“That’s not the same and you know it! Literally $40 difference!”

“Y/N,” he sighs when he sees you raised eyebrows and wide eyes, “ugh, fine.”

He places the candle back in the cart, not able to resist you when you give him your puppy dog eyes. It’s one of the many weaknesses you have on him, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. With him wandering off on you, you’ve been out of his arms for far too long and so he wraps himself around you.

“I’ll make it up to you babe, I promise.”

You give him a tender kiss afterwards. The camera catches his eyes, showcasing that he isn’t upset at all.

-

The kitchen is now bathed in the glow of artificial lights as you turn the camera back on. The night sky pairs well with the soft music and the glasses of wine sitting in front of you.

“So, I realized that I answered one of the earlier questions wrong. We’ve actually been dating for three and a half years, but I said four because that’s how long I’ve loved him for. Cue the gagging please.” Charlie pretends to gag over the dinner he’s preparing and you thank him for contributing. You’re about to talk again when the oven beeps.

“Oooh! Are the cookies ready?” Charlie turns the stove off and grabs for the camera. He shows you reaching into the oven and pulling out a fresh batch of heart-shaped cookies.

“They look so good babe! She’s going to love them!” Charlie zooms in on your meticulous handling as you place the hot cookies on a cooling pan.

“For those of you who don’t know, our neighbor is a really nice old lady and Y/N always gives her some of the cookies she bakes because she’s awesome like that.”

You send a smile to your boyfriend, offering him a cookie when you find one that’s cool enough to eat. When he tries it, you quickly debate with yourself on whether you should censor the almost pornographic moan he emits.

“IT’S SO GOOD BABE. OH MY GOD.”

“Thank you! Can you grab a gift bag for me so that I can give her the cookies? I think there might be one in our closet.”

Charlie hands you the camera and leaves the kitchen to find the gift bag. In the meantime, you try your own cookies and understand why he made such an inappropriate noise.

“Damn, these are good,” you mutter before bringing the camera back up to your face. “Okay everyone, so remember when I caught Charlie trying to get a video game and I told him he couldn’t get it? I said that because I already got him the game as a gift,” you pull out the gift from one of the kitchen drawers (a great hiding place, especially when he’s the cook and you’re not, right?) and place it behind the cookies, “I was planning on wrapping it while I was out by myself but then Charlie came with so I gotta figure something out. I thought he was gonna be upset when I told him no, but he was so sweet about it.”

“You talking shit?” The very same boy you’re talking about bursts into the kitchen, handing you the bag you needed. He goes back to the stove and starts preparing your plates.

“Yeah, I’m talking about your weird food combos, babe.”

“You’re just jealous that you’re not a genius like me,” Charlie throws over his shoulder.

“Sure, babe,” you say, rolling your eyes at the camera, “Anyways, we’re going to have dinner now. I think we’ll stop recording here. I hope you all enjoyed our chill Valentine’s Day. We might do a full Q & A video next week-”

“Orrrrr we might do a video where Y/N tries all my weird food combos!” Charlie butts into frame.

“Orrrrr we can do a Q & A,” you say, fear slightly at the edge of your voice as you imagine the prospect of doing his idea.

“Don’t worry everyone, I’ll get her to do it.”

“He won’t. Alright, if you like this video you know what to do! Until next time, we hope y’all have a wonderful night, and we send you all the love this Valentine’s Day!”

The last thing the camera sees is Charlie placing a loud kiss on your cheek before it cuts to black.

-

Epilogue

The video continues with a new clip with you in comfortable sweats and a slightly tired look in your eyes. It was obvious that you’re in the middle of editing your Valentine’s Day vlog and needed to put this clip in.

“Hey everyone, I’m in the middle of editing, but I wanted to update and say that I’m so dumb. I forgot to put his present away and it was literally sitting on the counter the whole night. But Charlie, being the sweet oblivious person that he is, never noticed it until I found it and gave it to him. Anyways, I know I probably should’ve put this clip in during the video, but I also wanted to show you what he got me!”

You pull out a set of tea light candles, along with an assortment of bath bombs and oils.

“Charlie got me a small spa set! It doesn’t seem like a lot, but I’ve been really stressed out lately and I have a bunch of projects coming up, so I definitely needed this. He’s so thoughtful and kind. But I also know that he’s going to steal some of these too and then deny stealing it.”

“No, I won’t!” You giggle at the distant indignant voice of your boyfriend.

“He so will,” you whisper, your left hand cupping the side of your mouth as if you’re telling the camera a secret-

Although, with the glint of new jewelry barely peeking out on your raised hand, you could say that you are.

||||||

A/N: ugh to celebrate Valentine’s Day with Charlie or literally anybody in the cast would be amazing! Y’all please check out @cherrymaybank Valentine’s celebration Masterlist for great fics and thank you again @babydork10 for the request. If you’d like to send a request or just hang out (because tbh ya girl ain’t spending v day with a s/o sooo), hit up my ask!

Taglist: @aunicornmademedoit @pixiethefirecat7 @badwolf00593 @kinda-really-lost @phantoms-julie @lolychu @n0wornever @s-h-a-d-o-w-s @celestialmolina @calamitykaty @thecharlietomygillespie @everything-is-alright @merceret @teti-menchon0604 @jemimah-b99 @notsosmexy

[beatlesdumpsterfire]

For @pushmipulluridesagain's prompt:

The Beatles go to Target

Brian should have known better than to give the boys the day off, completely unsupervised. Even John, Paul, George, and Ringo were shocked. In fact, they were so shocked that they couldn’t think of a single thing to do to fully take advantage of Brian’s huge mistake.

So, they found themselves in the sitting room of George’s flat, staring around at each other with blank looks plastered across their faces. Finally, John was the one to break the silence with a suggestion:

“Why don’t we go to Target?”

It wasn’t the most exciting option out there, but it sure was something, and it was a lot better than sitting around like their wax figures at Madame Tussauds. None of the other boys had any better ideas to offer, so that was that. Before Brian could change his mind, they all piled into George’s car and sped off to their local Target.

“Are we looking for anything specific?” Paul asked the car. Ringo turned around from the passenger seat and grinned back at Paul.

“It doesn’t matter if there’s something specific we’re looking for, we’re bound to walk out with a cart full of things we didn’t even know we needed.”

“I once went to Target looking for a screwdriver and I came out with an inflatable lawn decoration,” George mused. “I don’t think I’ve even taken it out of the box though.”

“There’s something about Target, it just sucks you dry,” Paul thought aloud. He paused for a second and quickly turned to John, who was obviously on the verge of making a bad joke. “Don’t you dare say it,” Paul warned him.

John luckily listened, which saved him from a hefty slap from Paul, and instead shared some wisdom he had picked up from a TikTok he saw the other day.

“You know, I heard somewhere that you can steal a certain amount of stuff from Target and they won’t stop you. They keep track of what you take, but they’ll only pull the authorities in when you’ve surpassed a certain dollar amount of stolen goods. It’s so they can charge it as a serious felony, I think.”

“Huh,” Ringo thought aloud. “So I could steal just under that amount and waltz out of the store?”

“I doubt it’s that black and white,” Paul interjected. “If they catch you taking something, they’re bound to stop you, right?”

“Why don’t we test it, lads?” John grinned. Paul let out a groan; he should have seen where that conversation was going. He had been a fool to assume they were going to take an innocent trip to Target.

“I’m game,” George said from behind the steering wheel. “We were bound to do something stupid today, I’m glad we figured out what that was.”

“Sounds like fun,” Ringo chirped happily. “I’ve never stolen anything before.”

“You haven’t either, have you, Paul?” John teased Paul.

“I have too,” Paul murmured. He had pocketed a single bean from the grocery store when he was 5 and, while his mom made him return the bean to one of the employees working there, he still felt it counted.

John could see straight through Paul’s fib, but he was confident that his mate would participate, as much as he acted like he was against it. Knowing that they were all on board to rob a Target got John feeling especially energized: he couldn’t wait to kick capitalism in the shins.

“Let’s make a competition out of it, Lads,” he announced, clapping his hands together. “30 minutes on the clock, whoever comes out with the most impressive collection of items wins.”

“What’s the prize?” George asked.

“Bragging rights,” John decided. None of the other boys were especially happy about that but, considering they were going to rob a store, they were all already kind of winning something in a sense.

“And one last thing,” John added, “if you get caught, you’ll be disqualified.”

“That’s straight-forward enough to me,” George nodded as he turned into the Target parking lot. “We’ll meet back at the car once our 30 minutes is up then?”

“Yeah,” John said.

“You’re going to get your asses handed to you!” Ringo cackled, unbuckling his seatbelt and rushing into the store before anyone could even set a timer. Paul, John, and George all exchanged tired glances; they knew Ringo was about to do something stupid.

And, of course, they were right. Ringo tore into the Target, the bell dinging above his head as he scanned around the store, his heart beating up into his throat with a wild look in his eyes. He needed to prove to his mates that he could be the best thief out there, one that was bound to earn their utmost respect. Ringo hadn’t really listened to the rules all that much, but he felt that he got the overall gist of the competition: he just had to take the biggest and most impressive thing and not get caught. That was a piece of cake because he, Ringo Starr, was the Master of Deception.

Ringo sprinted for the electronics department, nearly taking out an older gentleman and a mannequin in the process. The mannequin slowly toppled over, flattening the older gentleman behind Ringo, giving him the most action he had received in well over 50 years.

“Ooh!” the older man squealed.

Ringo made it to the section with the really big televisions and felt his pupils dilate tenfold.

“Yes,” he breathed out. Sure, there were three Target employees on the floor nearby, but Ringo was the Master of Deception. He had this in the bag. He managed to slow his breathing down to a pace that didn’t make him look like a rabid animal, and sauntered to the biggest TV in the store. Ringo looked it up and down and then smiled. He was gonna win this thing so hard. He looked to the left, making direct eye contact with one of the employees, and then looked to the right, making direct eye contact with the other employee, and then turned back to the TV. And, in one big grunt, he dislodged the TV from the wall and proceeded to shove it down his pants.

Both employees probably would have made more of an effort to stop him if they hadn’t been so thrown off guard by the fact that he had just put an 80 inch TV down his rear. It was a mystery how he was able to fit that screen in there, but somehow he did it.

Well, Ringo was the Master of Deception after all, I guess he was just doing what he did best.

While the TV was semi-concealed, the latter half of it stuck out of the seat of Ringo’s pants and rose well-above his head, so there was no denying what he was doing. Ringo had grossly miscalculated how heavy the TV was going to be; he was obviously struggling as he attempted to shuffle his way to the front doors. The two employees who had just witnessed this entire shit show exchanged an uncertain glance and shrugged their shoulders. They weren’t paid enough to deal with shit like that. Let the weirdo shove a TV down his pants if he wanted to.

Somehow, by some miracle, Ringo managed to make it to the front doors without being stopped (although he did attract a lot of strange looks). It was only when the metal detectors started to blare through the store that Ringo was surrounded by seven employees, two of which body slammed him to the ground. In a matter of seconds, the TV was removed from his pants and Ringo was sitting against the Starbucks counter by the front door with his arms shackled behind his back, moping not only because he had been eliminated from the competition and arrested, but also because he could no longer confidently say that he was the Master of Deception.

After Ringo powered into the store, Paul, George, and John synced their watches and agreed to meet back in the parking lot to determine the winner (they already knew that Ringo was going to be disqualified, it was only a matter of time before they found out exactly what he had done to eliminate himself).

George was the second to enter the store behind Ringo. As if he was going on any old Target run, George casually strolled through the front doors and made his way directly to the food section. The second John had initially mentioned theft, George’s stomach growled since it had officially been 20 minutes since his last meal. From that second onwards, George could only think about one thing and one thing only: filling the apparent goddamn void in his stomach.

So, in that food aisle, George went to town, carefully packing his shopping cart to the brim with crackers, cookies, sandwich-making materials, and lots and lots of candy. Satisfied with his load, he retreated to the back of the store where he very quickly found the employee break room and settled there, seated eagerly in front of his stuffed cart. A few employees filed in and out of the room as George worked away at his feast, but none of them bothered to stop him because they could care less. This was just an average day at Target: some guy had shoved a TV down his pants a few minutes ago, so George’s spectacle wasn’t even the worst thing they’d seen all day.

In ten minutes, George had consumed well over 50,000 calories and patted his extended stomach with content before letting out a belch that rattled the whole establishment for well-over 10 seconds.

Across the store in the women’s lingerie section, Paul snapped his head up from a rack of nice bras and scanned around in a panic. When he realized that the shaking wasn’t coming from an angry guard storming up to him, Paul’s shoulders relaxed and he returned back to sifting through the silk fabric, trying to find the flashiest bra available.

George collected all of his empty packages and started to shove them into a plastic Target bag that had been discarded in the breakroom so he had evidence of just how many things he had stolen that were now sitting in the bottom of his stomach. But, George wasn’t going to stop there; as impressive as his feat was, he knew that he was up against some tough competition (aka John, Paul didn’t count), so he really had to step up his game.

As he scanned around the store trying to find something good to snag, it occurred to George that he was wearing a red shirt and a pair of khakis (he was long overdue to do his laundry). He was basically an employee at Target, so George knew that he really could take things the extra mile. And oh boy, did he. He approached a cash register where there was an apron and an employee’s scanner sitting loosely around and tugged the apron over his head, adding the scanner to one of his front pockets. To be an incredibly huge nuisance, George went out of his way to unscrew the credit card reader (with his Target screwdriver, of course) and packed that into his apron as well. He checked his phone and, when he saw he had two minutes to spare, he decided that he had had his fun, and returned to the parking lot.

For Paul, when he first entered the store, he was a nervous wreck. Since the bean incident, he had vowed to never do a wrong thing ever again in his life. But, deep down, he knew that he would much rather become a criminal than let down his mates. He especially didn’t want to see the look of disappointment on John’s face if he came back empty-handed; that just wasn’t acceptable.

So, he decided to go the conservative route and start off small. After sneaking a pack of Trident Layers into his coat pocket without so much as a blink of an eye from those in the vicinity, Paul felt his heart rate slow. It was okay, this was fine, he totally had this. So, from there, Paul started to get more of a feel for the sticky fingers, sliding a pack of soap up his sleeve and a daily planner down his shirt. Now he was really feeling the groove of things, so he boldly made his way to the gift card section and grabbed a $20 Applebee's gift card. He was really going wild now. He was yet to face any consequences for his actions, so he booked it to the best part of Target: the electronic section, where Ringo had just been fucking shit up five minutes prior. Attempting to keep all of his stolen goods concealed, Paul strolled up and down the aisles, trying to decide which items on display were the best to grab (aka what would impress John the most). After checking to see if the coast was clear (which it was, since all the staff in the area were busy dealing with Ringo in the front of the store), Paul slid a Nintendo Switch inside his coat and hustled away from the crime scene, giggling to himself.

Now he was on a high. He was bound to win the competition with his impressive level of skill; the rest of the boys had probably already been caught because they were nowhere near as sneaky as him. As Paul hustled past the home goods aisle, he caught a glimpse of a Rolling Stones poster and turned back around with a smug look. The poster immediately went down his pants, where it belonged, so Mick’s face was pressed up against some stuff I’m not going to list out here. To top off the successful day, Paul made his way to the lingerie section to pick out an especially nice bra to give to John as a joke, to really rub in his victory. With the exception of the quick period of shaking that nearly made Paul crap himself, he was poised with a confidence he had never felt before, like he was immortal. Paul crept his way out a side door and returned to George’s car with his head held high and his pockets completely lined with goods, making it to George and John with three seconds to spare.

John knew exactly what he was doing from the get-go. He knew that his mates would all fall for a friendly competition and get so consumed by it that John could do his dirty work undetected. He knew that Ringo was bound to create a distraction big enough for him to do what he set out to do. He wasn’t sure if Paul and George would get caught too but, if they did, that would just be an additional bonus. After watching George and Paul hurry through the front doors, John stomped out his used cigarette on the pavement and ambled in behind them.

“Hey, Ringo,” he calmly greeted his mate as he made it through the front doors, where Ringo was still handcuffed and swarmed by employees and police officers.

“Hi John,” Ringo attempted to wave back, failing miserably. With a satisfied smirk, John moved to the front registers and, one by one, popped them open with a screwdriver that he himself had stolen from Target just the previous week. You’d think that alarms would have gone off, or someone would have noticed, but no, John was the true Master of Deception. He opened his coat to reveal a large, holographic fanny pack (also stolen) and started to fill it with the 1s, 5s, 10s, 20s, and 100s in each cash register. In under a minute, he had emptied out every register in the store, right under the cops’ noses. It was practically a miracle.

While George and Paul were still trying to make their way around the perimeter of the store, finding the best things to take, John was out the front doors in under three minutes, his fanny pack stuffed to the brim with cash just like George’s stomach was about to be with food.

“Fools,” John couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he lit a new cigarette and took out a long, satisfied drag. And, with that, he let himself back into George’s car and reclined backwards in the front seat, his feet kicked up on the dashboard. He kept an eye out for any commotion if someone caught on to his crime, but the store was incredibly peaceful and still, like a lake on a cool summer’s morning. John found that to be oddly beautiful, so much so that he knew he could write a decent song about it, called “Hey Target I Just Robbed You Blind, Suck It”.

After what felt like ages of waiting, George finally emerged from the store and, not too shortly afterwards, Paul trailed out after him.

“Did you see they arrested Ringo?” Paul asked as he plopped in the back seat, his pockets swishing this way and that and a loud, papery crunching noise coming from his pants.

“I was able to get in a quick word with him,” George told Paul. “Turns out he tried to steal the biggest TV in the store by hiding it in his pants.”

“Classic Ringo,” Paul rolled his eyes. “You’re awfully quiet,” he turned to John. “Nervous to lose?”

“You wish,” John snapped back to life, reclaiming his role as the leader of the competition. “Well, let’s go then, boys, shall we? Show off what you were able to grab.”

George was the first to go, and Paul and John’s eyes widened as he emptied out the opened food packages from his stolen bag. He had enough in there to fill half a trash dump.

“I ate all of that in under 10 minutes,” George proudly shared, before letting out another loud burp. “And, I took this.” George untied his apron and threw it in the pile, adding along the scanner and the credit card reader. “They thought I was an employee,” George couldn’t help but laugh as he looked down at his red shirt and khakis.

“What are you gonna do with a credit card reader?” Paul couldn’t help but ask. It seemed like the stupidest thing George could have taken. Well, actually a toilet plunger from the bathroom would have been stupider, but Paul had come to that conclusion earlier after taking the toilet plunger from the men’s room and talking himself into putting it back.

“Dunno,” George shrugged. “It seemed like it would be hard to take, so I took it.”

“That’s admirable,” John admitted, impressed with his younger mate. “Alright Paul, show us your booty.”

Paul couldn’t help but grin in anticipated excitement at his seemingly inevitable victory as he first retrieved the pack of gum and soap, followed by the daily planner and $20 Applebee’s gift card.

“Hold up,” John stopped him. “You’re disqualified.”

“Disqualified?” Paul nearly shouted in shock. “Why?”

John pointed at the Applebee’s gift card.

“That’s a foul right there. No one in their right mind would steal an Applebee’s gift card and consider themselves a winner. That just spoiled whatever else you took, I don’t even want to see it.”

“But I took a Nintendo Switch!” Paul tried to protest, reaching into his coat to grab it.

“I don’t care,” John held his ground, “you’re disqualified.” George watched onwards in excitement; he loved it when he did better than Paul.

“Now how’s that fair?” Paul protested. “We’re all judges here, your word isn’t above ours!”

“It is when I already know I’ve won,” John retorted. Before Paul could fight against this, John unzipped his jacket, displaying his fanny pack. Both Paul and George broke into fits of laughter.

“You can’t be serious, John,” George howled, “You think you won with that?”

“That’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Paul added in, relief washing over him that John might have just been giving him a hard time. That theory was quickly abandoned, however, when John, sporting the strongest poker face ever seen in the history of mankind, unzipped the fanny pack, revealing the stacks upon stacks of cash inside.

“I counted it all while you were in there wasting your time,” he explained to George and Paul’s gaping faces. “It’s near $20,000.” George recoiled in shock.

“John,” Paul’s voice was shaking now, “I don’t think that was such a great idea…”

“They haven’t caught me though, have they?” John tested Paul with a raised eyebrow, nodding towards the store.

“But I don’t think you should be sitting in their parking lot with the $20,000 you just stole, John,” George told him, trying to keep his cool.

“I’m not worried about it,” John waved George off. “Ringo’s got them all busy. Meanwhile I’m gonna buy me a new car to celebrate.”

“John,” Paul deadpanned, “you already own three cars. And you don’t have a driver’s license.”

“You really do need to consider other ways to live lavishly,” George agreed.

“What matters is that I’m $20,000 richer and you’re not,” John snapped back at them, growing frustrated that they weren’t as in awe of his achievement as he had hoped.

Right as Paul was about to suggest that John go back inside and return the money before they got into any serious trouble, Ringo knocked on George’s window, accompanied by two cops, making them all jump. After glancing back at John to make sure his money was hidden, George rolled down the window.

“They’re taking me to the sin bin,” Ringo explained, nodding at the two cops who were holding him in a deathlock. “Apparently putting a TV down your pants is considered a crime.”

“No kidding,” Paul told him.

“My bail is supposed to be posted at about $20,000,” Ringo continued, ignoring Paul. “Can you help set old Ringo free?”

Paul and George slowly turned to face John, who was scowling downwards.

“Yes,” George answered for him, “in fact, I think we’ve got $20,000 we can spare.”

Ringo smiled.

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back- Christmas Bonus

A/N: I am so sorry I didnt post this sooner. I’ve been having a really hard time with my mental health recently and everything outside of my job fell to the wayside. This chapter contains straight smut and straight filth. Please heed the warnings and if you are not into it, it is not necessary to read this chapter. The ending fell a little flat but I still like it. I hope you guys like it too. As always, feedback is appreciated and much love. -Em Contains SMUT under cut 18+. Warnings: Daddy kink, no condom use but she has an IUD, orgasm denial, being held down, begging. This is pure filth for a while guys. 

What Addy bought at Target 1 What Addy bought at Target 2 What Addy bought at Target 3

Finally, after what felt like a year after the last two months we had, December rolled around. Christmas. I hopped out of bed on Sunday morning and grabbed the flannel Monty was wearing yesterday. With a joyous grin, I grabbed my gingerbread man mug and made a pot of Starbucks holiday blend. I poured myself a mug and inhaled the first of my favourite scents of Christmas. My stomach grumbled. “Right. Breakfast.” Sitting down to eat my cheese toast, I was interrupted by soft footsteps coming in the room.

“Morning Babydoll.”

“Morning Love. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, you didn’t. Rolled over and you weren’t there is all.” His voice was still gravelly with sleep.

“Okay. After I finish my coffee we can go back to bed if you want.”

“I’m not tired anymore.”

“I never said we had to go to sleep.” I peered over my mug and watched his face perk up at the possibilities.

“Can you hurry?” I giggled and threw back the rest of my coffee.

“We could just�� stay here. If you want.” His eyes widened.

“You mean….”

“Mhmm.”

“Fuck I love you.” Monty muttered as he took three large steps towards me while I moved to put my plate away.

He grabbed my wrist, twirled me around, and kissed me playfully. I smiled and kissed him back before he lifted me up and placed me on the counter. He began kissing along my jaw and down my neck. I sighed deeply and ran my fingers through his hair. My other hand was wrapped around his bare bicep. His fingers deftly undid the few buttons on his flannel I had done up when I put it on. Reaching for the waistband of his pyjama bottoms, I tugged on them slightly. He growled lowly and I whimpered. “What do we say when we want something Babydoll?”

“Please?” I whined.

“Please what?”

“Please Daddy?” I looked at him with doe eyes.

“Not yet.” He rumbled gruffly. I huffed and he looked at me sharply. I immediately hung my head to hide my smirk. He tilted my head to the side and nipped at my neck again, biting down at the juncture where my neck and shoulder met. I closed my eyes as his hand began trailing down my body to my panties. “Don’t think I didn’t see that smirk Doll.” I whimpered softly. He hadn’t moved his hand to touch me or move my underwear or anything. Gripping the edge of the counter so hard my knuckles were white, I waited. And waited some more. He continued ravishing my neck and chest, though never quite where I wanted it. I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Please Daddy?”

“Please what Doll? Use your words and tell me what you want. Don’t move.”

“Touch.” My voice sounded small and weak. He had hardly touched me, and I was already so far gone I could barely form coherent thoughts.

“Touch? Is that how we ask for things we want?” He taunted before swatting my thigh. “I’m not going to remind you again.” I had to fight not to squirm at the implication of what would come after that final warning.

“Please touch me Daddy.” I begged.

“Touch you where?”

“Everywhere.” I gasped, growing more and more frustrated. He chuckled lowly. Even though I knew he wouldn’t touch any of the no go zones and I trusted him completely, the sound still sent a chill down my spine. Even still, I kept begging. I wanted, no. I craved, no. I needed his touch. My body felt like it was on fire and his touch was the only thing that would put it out.

“Well, isn’t someone a needy little thing this morning?”

“Mhmmm. Yes Daddy.”

Finally, he pulled at the waistband of my panties and lifted me up with one arm, just enough to get them below my butt. He put me back down and I shivered at the feeling of my hot skin against the cold marble. I watched with bated breath as he dragged his fingers from my belly button down to my clit. I knew better than to complain when he stopped just short of touching my sensitive bundle of nerves. It took me a moment to realize he was waiting for me to ask again. I simply stared at his hand, not moving, hovering just above where I craved his touch most. “Please rub my clit Daddy.” I whimpered softly, as though I was divulging my deepest secret. His fingers were rubbing my clit in soft, quick circles as soon as the words left my mouth. I felt him smirk against my breast as he listened to my depraved moaning and whines. He left little bite marks on the sensitive skin. I felt his other hand move from my waist to my hyper-sensitive nipple. Crying out when he brushed against it, I bucked slightly. He was gentler this time when he rubbed the nipple. He barely brushed it with his fingertips. Meanwhile, the pressure and speed he applied to my clit was gradually increasing. I felt the familiar knot in my stomach starting to tighten and just when I was about to cum, he stopped touching me all together and stepped away from me. He knew my body so well now, that I didn’t even need to ask for permission the first time. I cried out at the loss of sensation, even though I knew it was coming.

After giving me a few minutes to calm down, he was back to rubbing my clit. It was softer this time. But due to the increased sensitivity, it was harder and harder to stay still. He used his arm to hold me in place by my waist. “If you don’t stop squirming, I will fuck you on the counter.” He grumbled. The thought made my heart flutter. We hadn’t done that since we got back from our honeymoon. My hips bucked involuntarily. I had to stop myself from begging. “Oh, well. Does the needy little thing want to be fucked on the counter?” I whimpered, unsure if he wanted a verbal answer. To be safe, I replied.

“Yes. Please fuck me on the counter Daddy.” He cursed under his breath and gently leaned me back. I couldn’t help the yelp that escaped at the cold sensation on my back. He stilled. I gave him two quick blinks to let him know I was okay. Words aren’t really working at the moment. I watched with wide, doe like eyes as he pushed his pants down and his cock sprung free. I itched to reach out and touch it but I knew that I would both be breaking a rule by not following an instruction and I would be cold again when I put my arm or arms back down. “Please Daddy?”

In a matter of seconds, he was inside of me. He covered my mouth to muffle the wanton scream that tore it’s way through my body. He uncovered my mouth and placed both hands on the counter for leverage. He was thrusting rapidly, and I felt the knot being to tighten again. “Daddy? Please? Can I cum?”

“I mean, I’m sure you can.” He taunted. I rolled my eyes internally.

“May I please cum?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.” I whimpered. I was positive I was going to cum. Just as I was about to go over the edge, he stilled and pulled out of me again. I choked on my whine and shivered. His eyes were dark as he stared at me. I watched him take a step towards the island and giggled in shock when he scooped me off the counter and carried me to our bed and dropped me in the middle of it. “Don’t move.”

“Yes Daddy.” I sat very still again. He’s looking at me. Just do something. For the love of God. It was getting harder and harder to stay still. I felt myself start to shake from focusing on not moving for so long. When I looked up, he was biting his lip and staring down at me. Is he trying not to laugh? Now? Really? “Please more?” I couldn’t take the silence or the waiting any longer.

“I didn’t think you’d last that long.” His brow raised and I bit back a retort.

“Please? I want to touch you.” I looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“You will get to. Just be patient.”

“Okay.” I squeaked. He knelt on the bed and crawled toward me. I fell onto my back when he got too close to keep me sitting.

“Let me have my fun first Doll.” He mumbled as he ran a finger up my thigh. It tickled.

“Mhmm.” Was all I could vocalize because he had begun rubbing around my folds again. His knuckle brushed my clit and my body jerked. I sucked in a quick breath. The heat hadn’t dissipated any between the kitchen and the bedroom. If anything, it had only grown more intense. I closed my eyes and felt a finger enter me. The slow, even thrusting made the knot in my stomach tighten a little more. When he added another finger, I groaned, and my hands went straight for his hair. He didn’t seem to care as much about me not moving anymore. I tried not to tug the closer I got to my orgasm. Pulling from the ends is not sexy pain. Once again, when he felt my orgasm approach, he pulled away from me. I sighed in frustration.

“Can I please touch you now Daddy?”

“Yes, you can. God yes you can.” I sat up instantly and reached out to him. I bit my lip as I considered my options. To tease or not to tease… that is the question. “Don’t even think about it.” He threatened, though it was a loose threat.

“Fine.” I smiled at him and reached out to run my fingers along the underside of his cock. He sighed deeply. Growing even less patient, I wrapped my hand around the base and began stroking carefully. I took my cues from his breathing and the quiet moans he tried to hide. I sped up my stroking and twisted my wrist a little.

“Jesus.” He muttered. I went to let go but he slapped his hand around my wrist. “Don’t stop that.”

Taking that as a clear enough cue to keep going, I continued with the rhythm I had created for myself. I switched hands a couple of times when my wrists started to hurt. I was only half surprised when he tore my hand away from him and sat up, only to push me down onto my back and climb on top of me again. He never was one to give up control for too long. I couldn’t stop the laugh and grin that seemed like it should have killed the mood. If anything, it made it even more intense. Raising my arms above my head, I held one hand in the other, so my palms were facing up. He smirked at me and in one smooth motion he entered me and placed his hand on my wrist, effectively pinning me down at two points. Almost all of his weight was on the other arm, so he didn’t hurt me though. I wrapped my legs around his waist when we built a good enough rhythm that worked for both of us. My hips matched his thrust for thrust. I cried out when he thrusted particularly hard. He kissed me softly and slowed down a tad. I could tell he was getting close when his thrusting began to lose some regularity and he began panting slightly. I clenched to hold back my impending orgasm, unsure if he was going to let me cum or not. I would be satisfied either way. “You can cum.” He said into my ear. My head was so fuzzy that it sounded far away. After a couple of beats, his words computed in my mind and I moaned loudly. A couple of rough thrusts later, the knot that had been building all morning, finally snapped. Everything went black for a few seconds. I came back to reality just as he was reaching his own orgasm. He somehow managed to slip out of me and roll onto his back without falling on me. He was panting heavily. Or maybe that was just me. I couldn’t be sure. I rolled over gingerly and curled up against him. His heart was racing when I rested my head on his chest. He moved to hold me and run a finger through my hair while we caught our breath.

“That was… very good.” I panted after a bit.

“Yes, it was.”

“Like holy crap. I don’t know if I can get up and walk.”

“I think I’ll need to ice my knee after that. Don’t think that’s what my physiotherapist meant by light physical activity.”

“That’s okay.” I sat up and grinned at him. Now that I had caught my breath and calmed down, I was ready to get back into the Christmas spirit.

“Why are you so chipper this morning?”

“It’s December first.”

He nodded and then his eyes widened. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes.”

“Do I have to go with you?”

“Yes. I’ll need your help lifting the tree. You know, with your superior upper body strength.”

“Don’t start Doll. Teasing isn’t going to make me any more inclined to be excited for this.”

“We’ll just have to see about that, won’t we?” I smirked at him. “I’m going to shower, if you want to join me.”

“I’m alright. You go on ahead sweetheart.”

“Suit yourself.” With that, I skipped off to the en suite. The hot water felt exquisite on my back. Would be better with company.

Once clean, I wrapped myself in a decidedly too short to be decent towel and went back to get some clothes. I could feel Monty’s eyes on me, trailing up and down as I walked over to our closet and examined my options. I spotted the burgundy miniskirt and smirked, a deliciously devious plan already beginning to form in my mind. Grabbing it off the hanger, I went to my dresser and pulled out a black strapless one piece and sheer black tights. Sprinting back to the bathroom before he could get a glimpse, I slammed the door. I emerged a little while later and Monty was no longer in bed. I hadn’t heard him get up and leave.

“Shower’s free.” I called. I walked over to the couch just as he looked up.

“Okay. I’ll be there in a min- you aren’t leaving the house in that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so.” I rolled my eyes.

“I’ll put on a sweater. You don’t think it’s cute?”

“Then the sweater doesn’t come off. And cute isn’t the word I would use.” He grumbled.

“Fine by me. Are you going to shower so we can go soon?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m getting to it. Not like the store is going to run out of Christmas decorations in twenty minutes extra.” He stood and walked to our room, closing the door behind him.

“You never know.” I called behind him. I heard his loud laugh in response.

True to his word, twenty minutes later we were on the road to the Target. We made a quick stop at Starbucks once we got in the city. “That is basically just coffee flavoured sugar, you know.”

“I got it half-sweet. It’s my holiday drink.” I stuck my tongue out at him and took a long sip of my caramel brûlee latte.

“I know it is baby. It’s cute. Gross and just sugar, but you get so excited about it.”

I blushed deeply, “shut up and drink your boring, plain, very un-festive coffee.” I muttered.

“I can show you festive later, Doll.”

“I told you to put those horrendous velvet boxers in the trash.”

“I know, I know.”

We arrived at Target and I practically leapt out of the car. I had a cart and was at the door by the time he caught up with me. “Slow down Bookworm.”

“Sorry. I’m just excited. Come on, we have lots to get.” He laughed as he followed me in the store. It wasn’t too busy yet so we were easily able to navigate to the right department. That also meant we still had fairly good choices for décor options.

“First thing’s first. We need to pick a tree.” I told Monty, gesturing to the collection of trees.

“Okay.”

“How big do we want to go?”

“Knowing you, probably above average.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes and ignored his double entendre.

“Is seven feet okay? We will probably get a bigger tree in a few years.”

“Yeah, that’s good.” We made our way to the appropriately sized trees. “I don’t want a skinny tree.”

“No, but it can’t be too fluffy either. Do you feel like fighting with lights every year?”

“Not particularly.”

“Pre-lit then.” We examined our options and I pointed out a decently fluffy but not overly so, warm green tree with warm lighting. It also happened to be under a hundred dollars and on sale. “What about this one?”

“I like it.” He pulled the box off the shelf and slid it on the bottom of the cart.

With that decided, we moved on to decorations in the next aisle over. I gave a cursory once over to the options by running down the aisle quickly before asking for an opinion. “What do you like? And do we want to go traditional or cutesy?”

“They’re all different kinds of balls Addy.”

“I know. What do you like?” I asked and then added, “I’d prefer to be dealing with a different kind of balls but here we are,” under my breath.

“What was that?” Monty asked, abandoning the cart and coming over to wrap his arms around my waist to ‘help’ me look.

“Nothing. Will you at least tell me if you want baubles or doodads?”

“Baubles? I think? What’s the right answer?”

“Balls or pickles with googley eyes and junk.”

“Balls. But maybe a few special ones?”

“Okay.” Having come to an agreement on the type of decorations, I gave the aisle another, more in-depth examination. “Red?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Red and gold or red and silver?” I muttered to myself. I thought for at least a few minutes silently. “Gold?”

“I don’t-.”

“Silver?”

“They-.”

“Silver with a pop of gold?” I suggested, raising my brow.

“You aren’t talking to me. Okay. I’ll just be over here with the… nothing and tree in the cart.” After a few more minutes of silent contemplation and muttering to myself, Monty spoke up. “You are obviously going to be a while. I’m going to go get some groceries. Do you want me to grab anything or think we need anything?”

“Yeah, can you grab me a box of regular tampons please?”

“Sure. The regular size I assume.”

“Great thanks babe.” I muttered distractedly.

A little while later, he came back with the groceries. I was still trying to decide on tree ornaments. “You haven’t made a decision yet? I’ve been gone for like twenty-five minutes.”

“Huh? Has it really been that long? I didn’t notice.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Red and silver balls and like a few extra ones?”

“Whatever you choose babe.” I nodded and grabbed a couple of sets of balls. We had to rejig some of the groceries but eventually everything fit nicely. It was time to move on to deciding what extra ornaments we would get. That was significantly easier because we could just grab ones we thought were meaningful. We also settled on a silver glittery star for the top.

“We need a wreath or two as well.”

“Why?”

“For the door and mantle.” I shrugged.

“Alright? I will never understand your obsession with Christmas and decorating, you know?”

“It makes the house feel warm and cozy.” He only shook his head and smiled at me in response. We grabbed a couple of the cheapest wreaths we could find and a couple of strings of lights to go on them. I also snuck a couple strings of pine garland in the cart. The stocking aisle was daunting. There were so many choices. Cable knits, fuzzy, monogramed, patterned, oversized, mini… okay not the mini ones… plain, all colours of the rainbow. “Which one do you want?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Do we want to match?” Monty and I looked at each other and made faces.

“No.” We said in unison. We stood in the aisle weighing our options.

“What if we picked each other a stocking?” Monty suggested.

“That’s a great idea. Time limit?”

“Five minutes.”

“I need at least ten.”

“Ten then.” We shook on it and then set about choosing our partner the perfect stocking. I hemmed and hawed about what one to get him. I swiped through them a few times, tuning out the other people in the aisle and focusing solely on the task at hand. I flipped through the racks and didn’t like any of the options. Finally, at the back of a rack, I found the perfect one. It was manly but not overly so. It didn’t say ‘my wife picked this’. And there was a handy little pocket for some candy on Christmas morning.

“Took you long enough.” Monty teased from his spot at the cart.

“How long did it take you?”

“All of two minutes.” I looked in the cart and smiled at his choice.

“It’s perfect.” We grabbed some mantle hooks as well before moving on to get some decorations and decorative blankets and throw pillows.

“Why do women need six hundred pillows for every season?”

“I don’t know. Why do men have a chair and two spoons when they move out on their own and consider a mattress on the floor a bed?”

“We are simple creatures.” I had to bite my lip to hold back a laugh. He continued to push the cart while I threw a couple of fuzzy blankets in.

In the kitchenwares aisle, I tried to find a silver bowl for the coffee table that wasn’t atrocious or looked like it had been passed up by everyone in the thrift store. “Pop of gold it is.” I muttered, placing the bowl in the ever growing pile.

“Hey babe, do you like this… uh… bowl with knives?”

“It’s cute! We need it.”

“Need?”

“Yes.” I nodded simply. He put it in the cart. I grabbed a couple of packs of decorative napkins. “I think we are all set.”

Once we were home and the plethora of bags were in a semi-neat pile in the living room, I went to change into something more comfortable and seasonally appropriate. I settled on a pair of pj pants and a Christmas sweater. Monty had started to unpack the groceries and organize them to be put away. I went up and hugged him from behind. “Thank you for going with me to the store today.” I kissed his back.

“Of course. Why don’t you start going through the bags in the living room? Or did you need help moving the coffee table?”

“I’ve got it. You sure you’re all good here?”

“Yeah. I know you’re itching to Christmas-ify the house.” I nodded excitedly and ran to the living room after putting the kettle on for some hot cocoa.

I pushed the coffee table into the corner of the sectional and began going through bags. Tree decorations were stacked on top of the Christmas tree box. Décor bits were set in a pile on the table. Pillows and blankets in another pile. The kitchen type things were placed on the couch. I was quite literally surrounded by Christmas. This is. Awesome. I giggled and turned on the fireplace.

“Having fun?”

“Huh?” I looked up and Monty was standing right behind me. “Why yes I am.”

“What do you want done first?”

“Can you get the tree out and fluffed please? Put it in the corner by the window?”

“Sure. I’ll plug it in and make sure it works.”

“Thank you. I’m going to put the bowl in the kitchen and start the laundry for these.” He nodded and we went about our tasks.

While I was getting the laundry going I heard Carter in the living room. “Fucking tree. ‘Can you fluff it?’ with that cute little face. Stupid job. Who’s idea was it to need to fluff it anyway. Urg.” This is amusing.

“Having fun babe?”

“Mhmm.”

“Well if I did it, only the bottom four and a half feet would be fluffed.”

“Mhmm.”

“Would you be happier if I put some cookies in the oven?” I bribed.

“Maybe.”

“Okay.” I went into the kitchen and set the oven for the snickerdoodles.

“Um. Addison?” He called.

“Yeah?”

“Did you buy a bag of pinecones?”

“Yeah, why?” I asked, walking back over.

“I’ll ask again. Did you buy a bag of pinecones?”

“Where else was I supposed to get them?”

“Oh. I don’t know. Maybe outside?”

“Those ones are all dirty and breakable.”

“The pinecones are all di-.” He paused and sighed. “You know what? Never mind.” I smiled and kissed the top of his head before grabbing the bowl and dumping the bag of not from the outside pinecones into it. We spent the rest of the day decorating the tree and drinking hot cocoa together. It was a perfect Sunday.

The next morning, I wrangled Monty out of bed with the promise of a coffee run on the way to school. While he had a shower, I got dressed. I danced around our room while I picked out a maroon long sleeve jersey knit dress and a pair of black ankle boots. I was picking out some jewelry when Monty spoke, startling me. “Orange or blue?” Turning, I thought over the flannels he held out to me.

“Blue.”

“Okay.” He shrugged it on over his black t-shirt. Monty made his way across the room and pointed to the silver necklace in my jewelry box. “That one.” I smiled and put it on.

“Any other suggestions?”

“I could make a few but we can’t play hooky again. I can think of one accessory that would make the look though.” I looked at him quizzically. He smirked and leaned in to kiss my neck. He nibbled and sucked on the spot just behind my ear, forming a small hickey. I reached up and wrapped my arm around his neck.

“You are so mean. How am I supposed to cover this in class?”

“Leave your hair down.” He shrugged, satisfied with the job he had done. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. He narrowed his. “You want to do that again Doll? I’m sure you could think of an excuse for being late. Not being able to sit comfortably might be harder to explain though.”

“No.” I grumbled. I was kidding.

“Have you seen my leather jacket?” I asked when we were getting ready to leave.

“Last I saw it was in the front closet.” I nodded and grabbed it along with my bag. “You look nice today by the way.” Monty said as he took my hand after he locked the door.

“Thank you.” I blushed. We stopped at Monet’s and ordered our usuals before driving to school.

“Addy!” Monty’s friends greeted me as we walked towards them. “Oh, hey Monty.”

“Hey guys.” I smiled.

“Hey friends who were mine first.” Monty grumbled.

“Awe, is someone jealous?” Matt mocked.

“No.”

“You stole Justin from me so shhh.”

“I did not steal him from you. You two are a package deal.”

“Mhmm. Sure Honey. That’s why he comes over to see you twice a week.” He pouted as his friends laughed around us. “Would you feel better if we stopped for almond milk on the way home and I made you a smoothie?”

“Yes. It would.” I smirked slightly to myself. Of course, it would. The topic changed to what we had done over the weekend. I tuned some of it out, searching for Justin. Please don’t be with Jess.

“So, what did you two get up to? That we want to hear about.”

“We went to Target and bought Christmas decorations.”

“You mean you dragged me to Target for four hours to buy Christmas decorations.”

“That’s what I said.” I shrugged, grinning wildly. His-our-friends blinked at me and then turned to Montgomery looking like they were scared I was going to have a seizure or something.

“She loves Christmas.” Justin stated, appearing behind Garrison.

“It looks like Christmas threw up in our house. It’s great.”

“Married life boys. This is what you have to look forward to.”

“You like it. It’s cozy.”

“Never said I didn’t like it, Bookworm.”

“Right. You just have an ‘image’ to uphold. Sorry.” He rolled his eyes playfully.

“Has she taken you winter candle shopping yet?” Justin asked.

“No. I don’t go with her for that anymore.”

“So, does that mean I have to take her?”

“I need someone to be the muscle.” I shrugged.

“I’m sure you’d manage Addy.” Bryce smirked. I rolled my eyes and turned to him.

“Bryce. I’m five foot two on a good day. I weigh like one fifteen soaking wet. I have the upper body strength of a limp noodle.” The boys around me laughed.

“This is why she gets the excited greeting, and you get a wave Monty.” Ryder pointed out. “She has jokes.”

Monty rolled his eyes, pushed Ryder into a locker jokingly. “Fuck you, asshole.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“You could take Charlie.” Justin suggested. I contemplated that for a moment before the first bell, shrugged at him and went to class.  

Charlie and I went shopping for candles a couple of weeks later. “I don’t think there’s anything going on with Zach and Alex, Charlie. At least not that way.”

“Could you… ask him?” He asked as I opened the door.

“We’re home.” I called and dropped the heavy bag on the couch. Monty poked his head around the corner and nodded at Charlie.

“Hey.” He eyed the bag. “Did you buy the store out?”

“No. They still had some left.”

“Did she buy the store out?”

“No, I think she would have though.”

“That’s my girl.” He walked out of the kitchen with a dishtowel slung over his shoulder. I smiled and started pulling candles out of the bag. I arranged them neatly on an empty shelf and then greeted Monty with a hug.

“And why can’t you ask him Charlie?”

“Ask who what?” Monty quirked his brow.

“Alex about Zach.”

“Why would he as-. Oh. Dude. You can do so much better than Zach.” He turned to Charlie. When He didn’t respond, Monty’s eyes bulged a bit. “Standall? Alex Standall?” Charlie nodded awkwardly. “But he’s… Alex Standall. His dad is a cop.” I blinked, trying to erase our last encounter with the good deputy from my brain. Permanently.

“Babe. Don’t tease him. Alex is nice.”

“I know. He could still do better. A lot better.”

“I like Alex.” Charlie muttered. Good going dear.

“I know Charlie. I think it’s cute. Do you want a snack?”

“Sure.” Monty spoke up.

“Last I checked, you can walk without crutches.” I smirked.

“Charlie can walk too.”

“Charlie doesn’t live here.”

“I’ll take whatever’s easiest.” Charlie cut in from the couch.

“Char. What do you want? You know you don’t need to do that what’s easy for you thing here. You’re family.” I scolded.

“Do you have any cookies?”

“I might have to bake some but I think we have some dough in the freezer.”

“Sure.”

“Milk?”

“Yes please.” He called.

When our cookies were done, I put them on a plate and grabbed Monty a pack of fruit snacks. I chucked the bag at him when he looked up. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Charlie, you’re welcome to stay for dinner.”

“What’s for dinner?”

I turned to Monty and raised my brow at him.

“I took out ground beef.”

“Spaghetti?” The boys nodded. “I’ll make it later.” I muttered and settled into the couch with my blanket.

“So why are you afraid to ask Alex about Zach?” Monty asked Charlie.

“I don’t know. I know they’re close and stuff so….”

Monty thought for a minute and took a bite of the cookie in my hand.

“Hey. I was eating that.”

“Sorry.” He said through the cookie, shrugging. I shook my head at him.

“This man….”

“You love me.” He thought for another minute and sat up quickly. “We could have people over for Christmas.”

I sat back, my eyes wide, slightly incredulous. “We could?” I never thought he would be this excited by the prospect of a house full of people, especially at Christmas.

“Well yeah. Why not?”

“I’m not opposed or anything per say but what do you mean by… people?”

“The team. And your friends. And Alex.”

“So, like… twenty to fifty people. In our house. All at once?”

“Maybe?”

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea. It could be fun. Please Addy?”

“Come on Addison? You always joke about being team wife now. Christmas is wife-y. They’re like my family. Plus, then Charlie can shoot his shot. Or at least be forced into interacting with Alex and can’t chicken out.”

“I’m going to need to make a lot more cookies.” I’ll just let them think they had to twist my arm. That actually sounds great. “And you have to help with grocery shopping.”

The next day I met Alex at his locker. “Hey Addy.”

“Hey.”

“What’s up?” He asked, grabbing a few books from his locker. I shrugged.

“Do you have plans over break?”

“Not that I know of, why?”

“Monty and I were thinking about having some people over for Christmas. Did you want to come?”

“Sure. Let me know when.”

“I will.”

“Alex!” Zach called, walking up to us. “Hey Addy.” He nodded, somewhat stiffly.

“Zach.” I nodded back. Alex glanced at me. I thought Monty was asking the team later. But I guess there’s no time like the present. “Oh, hey. Monty and I are having people over for Christmas over break. Did you want to come?”

“I’ll ask my mom, but I don’t see why not.”

“Okay.” Things were still pretty awkward between us and I wasn’t sure how to end our conversations, so I just kind of waved and excused myself.

Justin found me at lunch. “What’s this about a Christmas dinner and why am I hearing about it from someone who is Alex and not my best friend.”

“I didn’t think you needed an invite you Dork.”

“Still.” He muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Let Jess know she is welcome to come if she wants.”

“I will.” We walked into the cafeteria together and I caught Monty’s eye. He was sitting on a table laughing at Ryder. I nodded in the direction of my friends. He nodded back but did not make an effort to move.

“Hey Addy.” Came the chorus from my friends.

“Hey guys.” When the common pleasantries were out of the way, I offered up my invitation. “We are having some people over for Christmas during break if you want to come.”

“Sounds good.” Tony nodded.

“Caleb is welcome to come too Tony. The more the merrier. I have to mention that Monty is inviting the team too, so be prepared for that.”

Clay groaned. “Really?

“They’re his friends Clay. I’m not going to tell him they can’t come. Do you think I’m chomping at the bit to be the only girl in the house unless Jess comes?”

“You sit with them at lunch and stuff.”

“There’s a difference between wrangling a group of teenage boys for an hour and having a house full of men. Ask your mom.”

Monty texted me. Bryce is staying here this year while his parents go on some retreat thing or something. Is it okay if I invite him?

Sure, he is your friend after all. Just tell him to keep his shit together.

I will. Your friends down?

I think so. Alex and Zach said yes. Make sure you tell them not to bring stuff.

I felt a presence behind me. Clay and Tony looked up. I turned around.

“Oh hey Garrison.” I looked around him at the small group of athletes standing behind him. “Everyone else.”

“Monty said you’re having people over, over break.”

“Yeah, why?”  Did he leave out details like where we live or something?

“Can we do a gift exchange?” He asked, his voice raising as it filled with hope. There was a chorus of ‘ohh yes’ and ‘please’ around us. Monty walked over.

“I go to the bathroom and you guys migrate over to Addison? I see how it is.”

“They want to do a gift exchange.” I told him.

“I see. That could be interesting.”

“We can think about ground rules and get back to you guys?” I suggested. The group around me nodded and eventually dispersed.  

With a date and time agreed upon, along with a budget and ground rules for the white elephant, it was time to make a grocery list. Not before Monty so eloquently threatened our guests though. “If any of you bring a scented candle-or any candle-you will forcibly removed. Don’t need any more stupid candles. She will guard that candle with her life.”

I was sitting at the kitchen table with a large pad of paper and a pen. “Need any help?” Monty snuck up behind me, hair dripping from the shower. His grey sweatpants hung low on his hips.

“Turkey or ham? Or both?”

“Both.”

I nodded and wrote it down. “Is Coach bringing his wife?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay.” I spent some time working on the list while Monty got dressed. I was waiting with my purse in hand when he came out of our room. “Ready to go?”

At the store, I handed him the list so I could push the cart. I’m probably going to regret this. It was fairly busy, being so close to Christmas. “Please try to stick to the list.”

“I will.” He muttered, looking it over. “Addison?”

“Monty?”

“What are, and I quote, ‘snackys’?”

“Snack foods. I don’t know what to get.” He nodded and chuckled.

“You are so cute.”

“Not cute. Danger.”

“Mhmm. You keep telling yourself that Doll.”

I grumbled as I grabbed a couple of containers of salad. He chuckled again. “How many onions do we need?”

“A few. If they’re really big get like two? And like a couple of heads of garlic if they’re good.” A couple of minutes later, he was back with onions, garlic, and a celery. I grabbed a few bags of carrots and the other few vegetables we needed. Monty loaded the potatoes in the cart.

We made our way to the meat department and I spent some time going through the turkeys. “Can you go get a ham that’s between seven and ten pounds please?”

“Yeah.”

As we walked through the rest of the store, Monty stuck his hand in the back pocket of my jeans. I felt the slight squeezes he gave my butt occasionally but didn’t comment. Let the boy have his fun. I put him in charge of picking snacks for his friends and grabbed a few bags of Chex Mix for Justin to snack on. There was a rather large bag of gummies on sale, so we grabbed that and threw it in the cart. That might not last the two days until we have company.

“I’m driving into the city tomorrow to get a few more things from Target.”

“Sounds good. I’ll start on the cleaning then.” He offered.

It was the first Saturday since our fight that we didn’t have company for breakfast. That didn’t mean we got to sleep in, however. There was plenty to do. We were going to have a house full of people in a matter of hours.

“Addy.” Monty whispered, as I nuzzled closer into his chest. “Bookworm, it’s time to get up.”

“Sleeping.”

“We might have time for a quickie if you wake up now.”

“Hmmm. Sleeping. Shhh.” I muttered. I was starting to wake up. A quickie sounds nice. Maybe there will be time to cuddle after. And more sleep. I willed myself to unfurl my body from the fetal position I was in and look up at Montgomery. “G’morning handsome.”

“Good morning beautiful. Sleep okay?”

“Mhmmm. You?”

“Yes.” He leaned in to kiss me softly.

I couldn’t ignore the tight feeling in my shoulders. I pulled away to stretch. My shoulder cracked and I let out a downright obscene moan. He growled lowly beside me. I held up a finger and yawned. Feeling a little more awake, I leaned back in to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around me and deepened the kiss. My hands wound their way around his neck as his arms wrapped around my waist. Monty rolled onto his back, taking me along with him. From my new vantage point on top of him, I was able to arch my back some more. This feels so good.

His hands traveled down to the hem of my pyjama shirt and slid it up. I pulled away so he could take it off and drop it unceremoniously on the floor. He held me out, so I was sitting in his lap, admiring me. It still makes me kind of uncomfortable. The way he looks at me. But he seems to enjoy it.  “Thought you said we only had time for a quickie.” I mumbled.

“A slow quickie.”

I ground my hips slightly and he moaned softly. “Slow?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Suit yourself.” I smirked. Slowly, I removed myself from his lap and stood beside the bed. My panties were then slowly slid down my legs. Partially because he emphasised the slow part. Partially because I was still tired and not super steady on my feet yet.  Once I was naked, I climbed back on the bed and straddled his lap again.

“Addison.” He muttered, a warning.

“You said slow.” I smiled cheekily. Though I intended to drag it out longer, I knew we were on a schedule. I couldn’t stand to wait either. He rolled his eyes. My hands went for the waistband of his pyjama bottoms. I was slightly unsteady and he immediately reached out to grab my hips. I smiled and nodded at his questioning look.

Now that I was steady, I was able to reach down and tug on his pants again. He lifted his hips to help me pull them down. Still holding my hips, more to hold me up in the air slightly so there were no… accidents… he kicked his pants off. His cock had sprung free and I deftly reached down to line myself up to take him. We both moaned loudly at the contact. I slowly inched myself down his length while I adjusted. I waited another minute after taking the whole thing to lift my hips again slowly. It took a few thrusts to get a proper rhythm going, but once I did, it was magical. Monty kept his hands on my hips, helping me keep the rhythm up. He thrust his hips to meet mine, matching slow thrust for slow thrust. I leaned down so we were chest to chest for a better angle and had to bite his shoulder harshly to keep from screaming. It’s too early in the morning for screaming.

As we both began chasing our highs, Montgomery flipped us over, so he was on top. I giggled in surprise. It turned to a moan halfway through when he hit that spot. I saw stars and tilted my head back. He took the opportunity to bite the crook of my shoulder. I could tell he was getting close and the knot that had begun building in my stomach snapped. I clutched his shoulders as my muscles tightened and my body curled in on itself. He reached his climax moments later. He was extra careful to keep his arms under my own. Don’t want a repeat of the time he lost his balance and squished me. Pulling out of me, he rolled onto his back. We were both breathing heavily and I looked at the clock on the nightstand. “Twelve minutes. I think that’s a new record.” He laughed and tapped me on the thigh.

“We need to get up now. And you need to go to the bathroom.” I sighed and pulled myself up. Grabbing my shirt, I ran to the bathroom and closed the door.

I emerged from the bathroom to find our room empty. The sound of the coffee machine whirring to life told me everything I needed to know about where Monty was. That and where else would he be at 8:34 on a Saturday morning? I grabbed a pair of sweats and went in search of a hot cup of coffee.

“Can you get the roasting pans out of the closet when you’re done that please?”

Monty gave me a thumbs up from his barstool. I made myself a cup of coffee and set it on the counter beside him. Hugging him, I noticed the teeth marks I left on his shoulder. “Does that not hurt?”

“It does. But I’m not complaining.”

We spent a little while enjoying our morning and quiet house before we had to start getting things ready for this afternoon. I made the butter for the turkey while Monty got the roaster out and started chopping vegetables. “Remind me to thank Mum for this chopping thing again.”

“I will.” She had gotten us an oxo dicing chopper as an early Christmas gift when we told her we were having a large gathering of our own for Christmas. I was just getting the turkey out of the fridge when there was a knock at the door.

“Who’s that?” I asked.

“It’s only nine thirty. People aren’t supposed to be here until like one at the earliest.”

“Can you guy open the door if you’re decent? Our hands are kind of full.” Justin called through the door.

I managed to get the turkey onto the counter without dropping it and ran to open the door. On our porch with their hands full were Scott, Charlie, and Justin. “We figured you could use some help. And we aren’t taking no for an answer today Addy.”

“Hey friends. Uh… yeah. Come on in. Put stuff,” I paused and looked around, “places I guess.”

“Hey Monty.” Charlie called as he and Scott put the extra folding table against the couch. “Dad said we could borrow this as long as we don’t break it.”

“That was nice of him. What’s the rest of the stuff you brought?” I asked, trying to take some of it.

“Our white elephant gifts and I wasn’t sure what to wear so I brought options.” He blushed. I smiled.

“Here, I’ll take this and go hang it in the guest room.” I took the garment bag from him and Justin’s button down to hang in the closet. Monty’s phone buzzed on the table.

“Can you check that Addy?”

“Yup. It’s from Garrison.” Is this like a fancy thing or… what am I supposed to wear?

Preferably clothes. We generally try to keep the house a no naked zone for people who don’t live here.

“Can someone send a mass text or something and tell people to wear whatever they want? If they want to look nice cool, but jeans and a t-shirt is fine too.”

“Sure.” Scott quickly typed the message and sent it. I sent one to my friends as well. With that sorted, along with all the other items that the boys brought over, we were able to turn our attention back to the kitchen. “Don’t even try to say you don’t need help Addison. You’re cooking for like 30 people.” Justin chided.

“Okay fine.” I huffed. “So, which one of you wants to get up close and personal with the turkey?” I grinned. The boys all groaned.

We spent the rest of the morning prepping, cooking, and getting the house ready to accommodate the influx of people. Around eleven, I excused myself to shower and get ready. I picked a burgundy fit and flare dress with a peplum sleeve. It was nice enough to say hostess but casual enough it wouldn’t make anyone feel out of place. I quickly applied some neutral makeup and grabbed an oversized hoodie to cover the sleeves while I cooked.

“Bathroom is free Monty.”

“Well don’t you look nice.” Scott smiled.

“So do you.” He had changed into a black button up.

Charlie stuck his head out of the guest room. “Help?”

I turned to face the door. He opened the door and held out a light blue shirt, a white shirt, a navy shirt, and a pink shirt. “Navy?”

“You think? It’s not too dark?”

“I think it’s nice. Go with the navy, right Scott?”

“Yeah. I agree. It matches your… face.” Your face? Why are boys.

“Addy.” Justin all but whined from the bathroom.

“Justy.” I whined back. I walked to the door and knocked.

“Tie or no tie?”

“What shirt are you wearing?”

“The grey one I wore to formal last year.”

“Black tie?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you tie it?”

“No.”

“Then no tie.” There was a fumbling on the other side of the door, and it sounded like something fell before it opened. Odd. But okay. I looked up when Monty walked out of our room. He was wearing a burgundy dress shirt. “No. Go change.” I ordered, pointing back to the bedroom.

“Why? This is a nice shirt.”

“We can’t match.” He looked at what I was wearing and turned around promptly.

“Changing.”

“Is a tie too much?” Charlie asked.

“Maybe. How did you guys get ready on our wedding day? If shirts are requiring this much effort and consultation?”

“We bugged Margot and Monty’s mom. Pretty sure Lucy was getting ready to strangle us by the time we had to go outside.”

“It’s a wonder why.” I laughed. Monty came back in a much more appropriate and less match-y grey dress shirt. “Much better.”

People began arriving around one. Snacks were out for snacking. Everything was tidy. The few gifts for the exchange were under the tree to start the pile. I was the good hostess and answered the door when Monty didn’t. Some of the team arrived in a group. Thankfully Bryce wasn’t with them. I wasn’t quite ready to face him yet. Clay, Tony and Caleb arrived together. “Hey guys.”

“Hey Addy.” Tony greeted me with a hug.

“So, gifts go under the tree. There’s pop in the fridge, water in the water dispenser in the fridge, bathroom is there, if its occupied I trust you to use our en suite.” I slowed as Monty walked passed us and continued quietly, "just ignore the very obviously not my hair product on the counter.” The trio laughed around me. “Hey Clay, is Jessica coming?”

“I don’t know. I think her and Justin got into a fight or something. Or she had plans? Maybe it was plans?”

“Okay. Means I don’t need to deal with all of that today so I’m okay with that.”

Justin walked over to us, a cup of pop in hand. “Incoming.” He muttered. I knew who he meant without having to turn around. Bryce.

“Hey Addy.” He greeted me with a surprising amount of warmth.

“Hi Bryce. I’m glad you could make it.” I smiled. I had to smile or I was going to tell him how I really felt.

“I know you said not to bring anything but if my mom ever found out I went to someone’s house without anything….” He held out a small, scented candle to me. My eyes widened and I grabbed it quickly.

“Thank you. I’ll be right back, excuse me.” I dashed to our room and put the candle in my side drawer. “Sorry. He wasn’t kidding about the candle thing.” I motioned to the shelf. The boys nodded. That was strangely nice of him. We spent a few more minutes awkwardly trying to make small talk. We must have made quite the group. I was able to excuse myself under the guise of needing to go check on the oven.

Zach and Alex arrived a little while later. I greeted them at the door. It appeared by the way he greeted me, Zach had either moved on from his little hissy fit, or he was willing to put that aside for the day because, well it’s Christmas for us. I told them where to place their gifts and offered them a drink. When I caught Charlie’s eye, I nodded to him. “You look nice Addy.” Zach smiled.

“Thank you Zachy. You look nice too.” I smiled back. I was trying to figure out what we could and couldn’t say to each other. Thankfully, Matt came to my rescue and stole Zach away. “Before you ask, no I don’t need help in the kitchen.”

“How did you know I was going to ask?”

“Because I know you Alex. You can accompany me and watch if you want though.”

He smiled and we made our way through the much more crowded than usual living room to the kitchen. He pulled up a chair and I set about trying to get Charlie’s attention and also not cut myself with the knife. Finally, after I was almost out of things to chop, I managed to get his attention. He came over and started talking to Alex. It was obvious he was uncomfortable and unsure of himself, so I tried to help. “Charlie and I watch old movies together.” I offered. I tried to stay out of it but they were so awkward talking to each other, I couldn’t watch it anymore. I didn’t want to intrude so I tuned out their conversation. Eventually, the boys left me to my devices in the kitchen. Justin came for a refill and leaned against the counter. “So, Monty told Bryce to be nice to you. That’s what that thing was when he got here.”

“Told?” That doesn’t sound like the man I know and love.

“Threatened.” There we go.

“I see. Well. He could use some practice, but I think he did an okay job at it.”

“Yeah. I think he might realize that he fucked up that night too. I don’t know.”

“Maybe. Hey, so what’s going on with you and Jessica?”

“Nothing. She just had stuff to do today is all. She said Merry Christmas.”

“Tell her I said thanks.”

I was alone in the kitchen for a while when the oven timer went off. I looked up from refilling the cheese bowl. I checked the turkey. It was the prefect temperature, so I looked around for Monty to take it out of the oven. “Babe? Baby? Monty? Dear? Montgomery? Husband!” Great. I lost my husband in our own house.

“I think he went to the bathroom.” An indistinct voice called from somewhere in the crowd. I nodded.

“Can one of you very fine, stronger than me, not my husband men please come take the turkey and the ham out of the oven?” I called. To my surprise, Zach and Bryce appeared in front of me. I handed them each a pair of oven mitts and stepped out of the way, indicating where on the counter they could go. Covering them, I waited for the inevitable stupid comments from Bryce. When none came, I looked at him questioningly.

“What? It’s Christmas.” He shrugged. “Everyone has to be nice on Christmas. And besides, contrary to what you might think, I do like you Addison.” He walked away before I could respond. I stood, blinking after him.

“Did you need something? I thought I heard you calling me.” Monty spoke beside me.

“No I’m okay now.” He must have noticed the blank, confused look on my face.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He turned me to face him.

“Yeah. I’m good. Go mingle.” I kissed him on the cheek and sent him on his way to entertain our guests.

When I started prepping the last few things to cook, six different people, including Coach Kerba, came and offered to help me. Between the crowd, the noise, the awkward interactions with Zach and Bryce Walker of all people I was starting to reach a bit of a breaking point. “No. I do not need help. Thank you for the offer. Now if you would all kindly get the hell out of my kitchen, that would be great.” I spoke lowly, so as not to disturb the rest of the guests. With that, I politely excused myself and motioned for Charlie to take over in the kitchen. I trusted him to not fuck it up or burn my house down. I made my way across the room and opened my bedroom door. Making sure it was shut firmly before sitting down on the bed, I put my head in my hands. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. The door opening slightly made me jump. “Hey, are you okay?” Justin asked as he discreetly entered the dark room.

“Yeah, I’m just taking a little break is all. It’s a lot of people and… well you know I’m not great with that.”

“I know.” He sat down and pulled me against his side. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I took another couple of breaths with him and stood. “I think I’m good now.” He nodded and we walked out of the room. The rest of the evening was wonderful and passed without incident. The gift exchange went off without a hitch and everyone left with full stomachs and hearts.

[thekatherinewinchester]

Ariel For A Day

Summary: Y/N went to on a haunted trail with her friends the night before. What happens when she encounters her celebrity crush at work all the while having no voice?

Characters: Matthew Gubler, Hunter Dahl, Fem!Reader 

Pairings: MGG x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, cussing, Matthew being a cute little shit (Yes that should aways be a warning)

A/N: This fic is for the Secret Swap on Discord that @imagining-in-the-margins​ curated for us! This was written for the ever so sweet @gretaamyk​! Per her request, there will be a part two to this -a smutty part 2!

I’m gonna kill them. I told my friends I couldn’t go to Boogerwoods with them, but did they listen? NO! Now, I have to go to work today with no voice. Thanks bitches. Today is gonna be so much fun!

Getting to work I waved to my coworkers on my way to the break room to put my purse and jacket into my locker. I had just closed my locker when I heard 

“Hey Y/N!” It’s my work best friend, Jas. We may not hang out outside of work but that doesn’t diminish the fact that she is my work best friend.

“Morning Jas!” I replied raspily.

“Did you finally get some last night and that’s why you have no voice today?” She jokingly said. She knew that I wasn’t that type of girl. I wanted to at least know the guy a couple of weeks.

I rolled my eyes. “Went to Boogerwoods with the Goofy Gublers last night. Pom wouldn’t take no for answer and Natt promised me Starbucks,” I shrugged even though I still a little tired from getting in late last night. “One asshole came at us with a knife dressed as Michael Myers and we seriously thought he was going to kill one of us. One guy had the audacity to touch Lila before she laid him on his ass. I won’t be going back to that haunted trail, not if their people touch you and get waaayyy too into character. Needless to say, I don’t think any of us have a voice today,” I shivered thinking back to when they Michael Myers impersonator coming at us with a knife. I have honestly never been more terrified in my entire life. Sometimes I curse myself for loving Halloween so much.

“You gonna be able to work okay today without a voice? Do we need to get you a little writing notepad or something?” Jas asked partly concerned and partly trying to be a brat.

“Don’t be dramatic Jas, I will work just fine. If I really need any help, I will radio someone.” I reassured her.

My voice might be scratchy as hell sure, but I am still understandable. That’s all that matters. I walked over to the board to see what my station was today. I really hoped I was on registers today; I don’t wanna talk to people and prolong getting my voice back. I am restocking today, yes! Less human interaction for me unless a customer requires my assistance. Hopefully, no one will need my help today but that’s just wishful thinking.

A couple of hours into my shift my throat really started to hurt. I told myself that once I had finished restocking these iPhone cases I would would take my break and make me some hot tea in the break room, By now, my voice is gone and it hurts to try and talk. Low and behold, a little boy -well an eight year old- comes towards me. “Excuse me, ma’am? Can you please help me find my uncle?” He asks a little shyly. My heart broke for the kid, he just seems so sweet; oddly, he looked familiar too.

I pointed to my throat and said I can’t talk.

His eyes widened, “Are you Ariel?” Awww, this kid is so sweet. Before I could shake my head no he had grabbed my hand and started leading me to who knows where. “We’re gonna look for my uncle together! When we find him, he can kiss you and bring your voice back!” He looked at me proudly and excited. Damn this kid for being so cute. Although, someone has seen the Disney cartoon one too many times. It’s sweet that he thinks a kiss will bring my voice back though. I will definitely take the complement that he thinks I’m a Disney Princess. The girls are gonna get a kick out this later when I tell them -after I message them in all caps about my voice.

By now we have reached our Halloween section. The little boy had been looking left and right for his uncle. Apparently, he had found his uncle because his strides were getting wider and he was practically running. “Uncle Matthew, quick! She needs help! She has no voice, so you have to kiss her!” He yelled out exasperatedly. I could feel my cheeks warming up at the sight of a couple of people who heard him yell to his uncle.  

“What are you talking about Buddy?” My heart stopped. I knew that voice. I would know that voice anywhere. The eight year old who is still currently holding my hand is Hunter Dahl. Laura Dahl is his mother and his mother is the older sister of the man who plays Dr. Spencer Reid on Criminal Minds. HOLY FUCK. Matthew Gray Gubler is in my store and his nephew wants him to kiss me so I can get my voice back. I don’t whether to be praising the heavens or to run away in mortification.

Matthew looked away from Hunter to look at me. His eyes are even more beautiful in person. He smiled his sweet smile at me and I swear he blushed. “Sorry about my nephew. We watched The Little Mermaid last night.” He looked back at Hunter and ruffled his hair. “Sorry buddy, that’s not how it works. Although, maybe if I ask her to go to dinner with me, it might help her get her voice back.” Both the handsome man and his adorable nephew looked to me.

My eyes must have widened in panic. I mean, how could I say yes to him without a voice. Nodding didn’t even cross my mind, I was too focused on the fact that the most important moment for me to have my voice and it’s gone. The Goofy Gublers we will definitely be getting an earful from me later. He have read the panic on my face.

His smile widened, “ If we can find a pen and some paper, I am more than happy to give you my number so that when you get your voice back, you can call me.”

HOLY. SHIT. I tried to come off as not too excited, I hope it worked. I tried mouthing the words electronics and pointed in the direction of the cash register in the electronics.

“Lead the way Ariel, we will follow you.” He gestured to me. His smile will be the death of me, I swear.  I hope my face isn’t a horridly read color, that would be a little embarrassing.

I lead us to the electronics cash register and grab a sticky note and pen. I handed both to the tall, handsome pool noodle. I hope my smile didn’t look too creepy. He took the pen and pad from me and began jotting down his number in his familiar messy scrawl. This moment feels so surreal. Once he had put his John Hancock and his infamous heart, he handed the sticky note to me. “I hope to get a call from you soon Ariel,” he smiled and winked. He patted Hunter on his back. Hunter waved at me as they made their way back to the Halloween section. I smiled at the sweet boy and waved back. I looked down at the sticky note in my hand. WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

It was two days before I could talk again. I just hoped that Matthew hadn’t changed his mind. I took a deep breath before clicking his number that I had already saved in my phone. I had saved it as soon as I had a hold of my phone on break. I haven’t even told the girls on discord about this yet. This still feels like a dream. I hit his number and waited with a bated breath while it rang. It rang twice before he picked up.

“Please tell me this is Ariel from Target,” Came his sweet voice.I blushed and let out a giggle I was hoping to keep in.

“My name is Y/N and it’s nice to meet you.” I managed to get out without stuttering.

“Hi Y/N, it nice to finally hear your voice.” I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “I like the sound of your laugh, it’s a sweet sound.” I blushed even harder. 

“Thank you, it’s really sweet of you to say” I smiled into the phone.

“So about that dinner I want to take you on, are you free this weekend? Like say Saturday?” I could hear the nerves in his voice.

“I’m sure I could pencil you in,” I teased. Then it hit me, Saturday was Halloween. “You don’t have plans with your friends for Halloween?” I asked. I was confused. Didn’t he have a Halloween party to go to with his friends?

“I want to spend Halloween with you, actually,” his voice giving away just how shy he actually is. It’s endearing actually.

“I know a great place where we can eat and still rock costumes, if you want…?” I was unsure if he would like the idea. Granted, anyone who knows Matthew for more than five minutes knows that his greatest love is Halloween.

“Really? That would actually be really cool!” Was his reply.

“Awesome! I must warn you though, the place is owned by a friend of mine. She is really chill though. And I hope you like Mexican!”

“I can’t wait. Send me your address and I will come pick you up. You can be my eyes and my guide.”

Another giggle escaped my lips. “It’s a date!”

I figured as a good joke I would dress as Ariel in her blue human dress when Prince Eric takes her out on the lake. I even got a red wig. I already had a blue bow so I was good on that. I can’t wait to see what Matthew will be wearing. I walked towards the mirror in the entry hallway to get one last look at myself. I like how it all turned out!

There was a knock at the door. He’s here! I took one last look in the mirror before I grabbed my Sebastian clutch that held the essentials (my phone, keys, lipstick for an emergency touch up). I opened the door and I let out a big laugh.

“What do you think?” He looked so proud of himself. This man is just too cute for words.

“You make a dashing Prince Eric! I honestly wasn’t expecting Prince Eric, I thought you would go with Poe or something spooky,” I admitted.

“I did think about it, I admit, but I thought Prince Eric would be the better choice since you are Ariel,” He winked at me. I almost let out a moan. The man need to quit being so attractive, it’s quite unfair honestly. “You ready to get this date started?” He asked me while hold his arm out for me to take like a gentleman.

I looped my arm through his, “I am ready sir, please lead the way” we walked out this hi car, where he opened my door for me.

The short car ride was quite but not awkwardly so, it was a comfortable quite that only my giving directions disturbed. We pulled up to the little hole in the wall Mexican restaurant where Kat awaited us. I told her I had a special date, but I didn’t say who.

I walked in first and Kat was the first person to greet us. Here got really wide but she quickly schooled her features.

“Ey apa, voy a garar esta mesa!” She called out in Spanish. “I told my dad that I was gonna wait on you. He won’t care. Everyone is out partying anyway.” She grabbed a couple of menus and sat us in one of the very back corners. “What can I get y’all to drink?” She looked from me to Matthew waiting patiently.

“I will take a water please,” I looked to Matthew to see what he would order.

“same for me please.” He responded. Kat turned and went to get our drinks situated. I opened my menu to see what the Saturday special was and figure out if I’d had yet or not.

“What do you normally get here?” Inquired Matthew.

I looked up from my menu, “Honestly, everything is good here. You really can’t go wrong. I haven’t had their dinner special yet, the enchiladas supreme but I don’t doubt they’re just as good as everything else. I will probably stick with my usual though.,” I flipped the page over and pointed to an item that was under “from the grill”. “I get this second one right here, it’s called the Pollo Con Crema. It’s grilled chicken with their white cheese sauce and rice and beans. It’s so good!”

“Here y’all go!” Kat put down our drinks along with some chips, salsa, and bean dip. “Y’all ready to order?” She looked to me first. It will never cease to amaze me to hear her speak Spanish and then turn around and speak English with a southern accent that has a hint of a Spanish accent. I wish I could speak another language. Maybe I will ask her to teach me one day. I looked to Matthew. “Are you ready to order?”

“Yeah, if you are.”

I looked back at Kat. “I want my usual, please.”

“You got it Y/N, you doin’ rice and beans tonight or double rice?” She asked me.

“Rice and beans is fine.” I told her.

We both looked to Matthew. “How about you Sweetheart? What would you like?” I could see a little blush begin to color his cheeks.

“I will have what she’s having, please. It sounds really good.”

“You got it! Would like it with rice and beans or double rice?” She questioned him. “It’s good either way, we just have a lot of customers who have preference.”

“Rice and beans is fine.”

I handed her our menus. “Alrighty then, I will get this put in for y’all! By the way, y’all look fantastic!” As she was walking away, she gave me a look that read we would be talking later. She was gonna rat out me on discord. Not in a mean way, she was just gonna elude and have me tell everyone the news. Oh well. I honestly can’t say I’m mad about it. I’m on a date with Matthew Gray Gubler, nothing can make this happy feeling go away.

“So, she’s a friend of yours?” He asked me as he was grabbing a chip to dip in the salsa.  

“She’s a friend I met on a messaging app. She’s a sweet person. A little crazy and sometimes annoying but she’s a sweetheart. She’s not gonna say anything. She has thing with privacy so, we’re safe. She might hint that I was on a date with someone to the rest of our group but she won’t flat out say who it is. She’s have me do the honors. That is, if it’s okay with you. I don’t want you think that I’m only here because of who you are.” I bit my lip nervously. I really hope he doesn’t think that. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

“No, I don’t think that at all. I knew from the moment you walked over with Hunter that you were a good person.” He smiled.

I smiled back. “I’m really glad to hear you say that.”

He reached for my hand, “I know this is only the first date, but I can already see that there could possibly be something between us.”

I held in the fangirl scream that wanted to let loose, so I just let my smile grow wider. “You can?”

He rubbed his thumb over the back of my palm. “I really do think that.” He spoke softly looking into my eyes.

Even if he is wrong and there isn’t something between us, at least I had this one night with him. A night that I know I will never forget and cherish for the rest of my life.

Wheels Up Fam:

@imagining-in-the-margins​ @httpnxtt​ @spencer-reid-in-a-pool​ @hyper-fxation​ @andiebeaword​ @writing-in-april​ @aperrywilliams​ @sunlight-moonrise​

[ketakidesai]

6 reasons why Digital Marketers should NOT ignore Gamification

For the uninitiated, gamification is most commonly defined as “…an informal umbrella term for the use of video game elements in non-gaming systems to improve user experience (UX) and user engagement…”. (1)

Brian Burke, Research Vice President at Gartner, in a podcast defines gamification further as “The use of game mechanics and experience design to digitally engage and motivate people to achieve their goals…it’s the use of game mechanics… and uses things like points and badges and leader boards… It is used in a digital engagement model” (2)

Let’s take a look at the 6 reasons why marketers must consider gamification in their digital strategy. (It's a long read but I promise it will be fun!)

Reason 1: Let’s accept it – gamification is not ‘just a fad’

The last decade has seen interest in gamification rise substantially. Growth in digital technologies has further propelled this interest across sectors like Healthcare, Real-estate, Education, and other sectors. Today, mobile technology is using game mechanics combined with UX design to enhance user engagement, aid employee learning, help students with problem-solving, and even help sales personnel reach their targets.

Reason 2: Gamification is everywhere, literally!

The earliest, less refined, version of gamification in marketing was recorded in 1896 (3) when retailers rewarded loyal customers with stamps received from marketers. By 2020, one can comfortably say that gamification in marketing has come a long way.

“It (Gamification) can be applied on many products, services, or any stage of the customer journey and it’s easily adjusted to any budget” (4)

Today, Gamification is seamlessly incorporated in our favorite digital platforms like Google Pay, Fitbit, and even Linkedin. It is common to see a mobile app use badges, points, or virtual currency to drive user engagement. While there are popular applications that have gamification at their core like Duolingo and Nike Run Club, there are apps like Zomato which have incorporated gamification into their product to keep app users coming back for more.

In 2019, Zomato launched Zomato Premier League during the IPL season. Users could predict a winner of the IPL cricket match of the day and gain 30% cashback if they predicted the winner correctly. Zomato released a scorecard of the activity that showed 224 cities and 14 Million predictions achieved during the IPL season. (5)

(On a separate note, Google decided to ruin the game and sent a notice to Zomato citing Play store policy violation – Zomato had to take off this feature in September 2020) (6)

Reason 3: Your digital audience wants to have fun

“Many brands don’t need brand awareness anymore, they already have it. So they’re looking at what’s next, they want to engage the audience, the influencers.” (7)

Digital marketers need not limit themselves to using gamification only in an app – digital engagement can be successfully created wherever the audience is including social media! Micro-gamification moments have been popular on social media platforms for some time now. One example of the micro-gamification moment is Stories Ordering by Burger King.

Burger King Spain used Instagram stories and had some fun with gamification. With “Stories Ordering” followers could pick ingredients and customize their Whoppers by simply clicking on the Instagram Poll Feature. This generated a unique coupon that participants could use to redeem their Whopper for free. A simple creative idea with zero media investment led to 270000 brand interactions.

Similarly, Star Movies launched Play @ 7 (8) to gamify the TV watching experience. Viewers were required to watch the movies played on the channel daily and play 7 games by tweeting the correct answers to the games. Star Movies created a leader-board on Twitter in real-time where participants could track their progress daily and weekly.

Reason 4: Personalise to Gamify and Gamify to personalize

“While the job of gamification is easing the daily tasks in different fields, the users’ interests and likes must be considered to create intrinsic incentives and a moral environment for them.” (9)

For a truly effective retention strategy, a brand must enhance the product experience for the user. For this ethically collecting relevant data along the user journey to personalize content and keep users engaged becomes important. Duolingo emails a weekly report to its users reminding them of their progress in comparison to the previous week. Similarly, Starbucks sends rewards points as a birthday treat to its users.

As the collected data gets richer in quality, marketers can then create loyalty programs, feedback mechanisms, gamified content, and much more, to personalize the user’s experience further.

Reason 5: Gamified marketing survived COVID-19

Locked up at home due to COVID-19, people were increasingly active online, consuming a variety of content, and playing games when not working. Between March 2020 and April 2020, comScore noted a 62% increase in the time spent on playing games online in India. Another report states that the US and UK saw a ‘40% surge in the time spent on online games’.

During this time, Burberry launched its summer collection through a gamified campaign. The luxury brand created a multiplayer game “that lets players dress up their characters in the brand's outfits before grabbing a surfboard and challenging friends to a race around a track”. The game rewards participants with daily prizes and AR-based digital rewards. (10)

ABC Entertainment decided to have fun promoting its classic TV game show “Supermarket Sweep”. To announce the return of the show, the broadcaster launched a Twitter game “Supermoji Sweep”. The audience on Twitter was required to “reply to its @SuperSweepABC account with combinations of nine emoji for grocery items including cheese, bread, steak, turkey and cherries”. Every emoji had a secret dollar value attached to it and the audience was required to guess the combination of items that would cost exactly $20. And the reward for the correct guess? A Special video message from comedian Leslie Jones, who is also the host of the show.

Reason 6: Gamification is about to get better

The overall Gamification market globally is expected to be worth $76298.9 Mn by 2030 (11) and for marketers, the opportunities are endless. Game mechanics are combined with AR/VR in education, tourism, healthcare, and entertainment industries.

In 2019, Ally Bank used AR and Gamification to create an online learning experience for consumers. “The augmented reality game brings Monopoly to life in six USA cities… Ally aims to improve consumers’ financial literacy through gamification while giving them the chance to increase their savings and win prizes."

PetSmart used Snapchat’s AR feature to create a “gamified quiz based around educational reptile facts”. Using this feature users could use the filter to turn themselves into a reptile, answer questions related to reptiles, and win a 40% discount coupon that can be redeemed at a PetSmart store. As a result, PetSmart “has seen a 50% increase in reptile sales, as well as a boost in general pet sales as owners stocked up on food and supplies in preparation for lockdown..”

Digital marketers can leverage these technologies to present immersive and gamified experiences to consumers and expand the scope of digital marketing. Similarly, brands can work towards gathering relevant user data and utilize it to create a better user experience and consumer engagement through personalized in-app gamified experiences.

Parting Thoughts

From engagement to retention, gamification can support most of the marketing objectives. This is a great approach ONLY if the marketer is clear about what objective the brand is trying to achieve when adopting the approach. To elevate a user’s experience through gamification, marketers must weave storytelling or personalization.

But remember, creating a gamified experience is not easy. Experts have researched why gamification fails and these reasons range from lack of understanding of the target audience to not being able to create a compelling story. Brian Burke mentions that gamification fails when it is used to manipulate the user’s experience to meet the organization’s goal, instead of the goal of the customer (2). As a result, marketers must create an experience that helps the consumer achieve their objectives. And this means going beyond mere reward points.

I will leave you with two popular frameworks Elemental Game Tetrad Model by Schell and Octalysis Framework by Yu-kai Chou. Both these should help you start off with planning and designing an outstanding gamification experience for your audiences/customers/users!

Add alt text

FIN!

Thank you for reading this article. I would love to hear your views on gamification and how digital marketers can leverage game mechanics to improve user engagement.

If you found this article interesting or if you have any feedback for me, do share the same in the comments below!

All references and cited articles can be viewed here.

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Little things Daichi x reader

Little things Daichi x reader

A/N This is super cute and is based off of one of my my favorite places on Earth like it doesn't stress me out or have too much happening

Summary: Somehow you end up shopping for team pep baskets because your boyfriend doesn’t quite know how?  Bad summary but close idk 

(if you don’t know what pep baskets are they are a little assortment of treats and stuff teams do before big competitions, tournaments, or shows to hype each other up and to give little gifts) 

Today was the day. A day that only happened once every month, a day that you always looked forward to for no real reason. It was an afternoon that you and Daichi got to spend together at one of your favorite places on earth. He always told you that he could only go with you once a month (he would go more often but not like this) because you would go everyday if you could and he was not about that life.

You two had made lunch together at your house before going to your special place. It was a rainy day and you were excited for a little bit of fun. As you walked it you were thrilled it was going to be so fun-Target. Target was a place that you loved because it had adorable clothes, the best makeup, cheap ice cream, and every color pen that you could possibly want. It wasn’t often that you would go in there to just wander around but when you did you always liked having someone to keep you rational. That person was Daichi. Whenever he would go with you and you were going to get something ridiculous he would give you an eyebrow raise and you knew it was dumb. Secretly he loved watching you have such a good time but he would never let you know that. He was a one and done kinda guy when it came to shopping but you’re forgetful and end up going back about a hundred times during the week for miscellaneous things. You’d already gone twice this week, once for toothpaste and face soap and the other time for ice cream and deodorant. 

Lucky Daichi had a purpose for him too. They had an away game this weekend and they were doing pep baskets as a little pick me up for having to wake up so early. He had pulled Tsukishima which was going to be difficult. You kept promising him that you would make Tsuki the best basket out of anyone’s and he was going to love it. Daichi had no idea what Tsuki liked(or at least he claimed to and you had to reassure him that that didn’t make him a bad dad, Tsuki was just in the weird teenage phase) so he was happy to let you take over. 

Once you got there you started looking at the dollar section and you found a couple little items you promised that he would love. You then continued on to the makeup section, which you promised would only take a second. He knew what a second meant and told you he’d be back in a few minutes. 

When he came back he had Starbucks drinks for both of you. He knew exactly what you liked and it made your heart melt. You were deciding between two different mascaras and it was a decision you couldn’t seem to make on your own. 

“Blue, get the blue one,” he grabs the blue one from your hand and puts it in the basket before walking off. You had no choice but to follow him. 

Next the two of you went to the wellness section to get a couple more items for Tsuki. Daichi actually thought you were crazy when you picked up glasses cleaner and one of the cloth wipes. 

“No! He wipes his glasses off on his shirt! That’s ruining them, I promise he’s going to love it.” Little did Daichi know you were also sneaking in things to make him a pep basket from you. You had most of the items but needed just a couple more to make it perfect. You would send him to go find a sports drink for Tsuki and secretly grab things for Daichi that you covered with things for Tsuki and the things for you. It was going to be a challenge to pull this off but you knew that he was going to love it. 

You were stuck looking at two pairs of socks (which Daichi didn’t understand why they needed to get Tsuki socks but you firmly told him that he didn’t want to have to smell his teammate’s stinky feet on the bus which he hadn’t ever thought of but couldn’t have agreed with you more). It was between dinosaurs and space koalas. 

“Dinosaurs Y/N he likes dinosaurs.” You couldn’t help but smile at him, he loves those boys with his whole heart. 

He said the magic word, dinosaurs.  You grabbed Daichi’s hand and started walking because you knew Tsuki needed one more thing and that had to be a little stuffed dinosaur. You went over to the bedding and found the most adorable little green and blue dinosaur that you had ever seen, the dinosaur also had little glasses that made you squee knowing  that Tsuki would pretend to not like it because he likes being cool but deep down he is going to cherish it. You ended up getting Tsuki a couple of snacks (Daichi knew his favorites even though he told you he knew nothing), his favorite flavored drinks, glasses cleaner, socks, a neck pillow (Daichi’s idea because Tsuki’s poor neck always hurts after long bus rides), a portable charger and the little dinosaur plushie before doing a little bit more shopping with you. 

 “Daichi, babeee which one is cuter” you smile at him while holding up both of the sweatshirts you found. 

“That one, it’s my favorite color and you’re my favorite person so obviously the navy one .” You had no choice but to get the navy one. 

You start looking at swimsuits because it’s summer and you cannot wait for the pool to finally open when Daichi taps you on the shoulder. 

“I think this one would look amazing on you. It has little flowers like the one on that dress you wore on our dinner date” he’s blushing, you’re blushing it’s adorable. He knows you so well that you physically cannot handle it. 

“That’s perfect, just like you” you wink at him before putting it in your basket. You two hold hands and walk down a couple more aisles to look at things for your bedroom and get a couple more pens for school. The entire time you’re shopping Daichi is watching you with love in his eyes, he cannot believe that he has such a cute girlfriend. He also secretly loves all of the domestic shit, like just doing things that old couples do makes him soft. 

“Helloooo Earth to Daichi” he shakes himself back to reality “do you need anything else before we leave” 

“Nope, if you’re done I’m done” 

You both go to check out and you easily hand him the stuff for Tsuki and he goes to a different cashier so you two can race and see who’s done faster. He was obviously done faster than you and waited by the door for you to finish. The two of you left arm in arm satisfied with today’s trip. 

When you got home you added a couple of last minute things to your pep basket for Daichi while you were changing. 

You walk down the stairs with a nervous smile on your face carrying his pep basket. He’s still trying to arrange Tsuki’s and doesn't notice you until you place it right on the floor in front of him.

“Y/N what’s this??” 

“It’s your pep basket silly, I had to get you something for your trip” You’re beaming at him and he pulls you down onto his lap into a giant hug.

“Stoooooop, open it up goofy”

He opens it up and finds a sweatshirt matching the one you got today (you scoped the store the other day and found both of the sweatshirts and started plotting), you also had got him some of his favorite snacks and drinks, a water bottle that said #1 Dad on it and a pair of socks that have little volleyballs on them, you also got him granola bars for breakfast because you know he doesn’t like eating so early in the morning. The last thing you did was write him two super cute letters to read tomorrow, one in the morning and one on the way back. He absolutely loves it and pulls you into a loving kiss. 

You two made out on the couch for a little bit (a lot of bit) running your fingers through each other’s hair and whispering little I love you’s back and forth. You both were having fun but you insisted that he needed dinner and sleep. He knew that you were right even if he didn’t like it. 

 When he read the letters on the bus he could do nothing but smile. He also brought his sweatshirt with him to use as a pillow on the bus because he is low-key high-key   excited to match with his girl next time you go shopping together

(Also Tsuki had the best pep basket out of everyone, most of the other ones just had corner store candy and Doritos)

[thegeminisage]

the south is like another country

i have an entire essay on how the current radicalism and steep political divide in this country can be traced directly back to the civil war - rural white southerners here playing the part pre-ww2 germany, the part of a resentful, conquered nation assimilated into the nation that conquered them, because if you think about it the south/the confederacy WAS its own nation for a time, that lost a very bloody war, and paid very steeply for it (not that slavers didn’t deserve every bit of misery the “carpetbaggers” threw at them), and the bitterness from that loss/the lost capital from having their slaves freed has been handed down through the generations, to people who now live in abject poverty while their livelihoods are destroyed by late stage capitalism, and their schools are so broke a lot of people here don’t even know how to read, and their towns are eaten alive with meth, and they’re still looked down upon by most of the country for being racist uneducated backwater hicks (to be clear, we should always look down on racism and racists, but it’s not making them any less bitter/ripe for being drawn into the cult of tr*mp’s america and f*cism).

but anyway this post isn’t about that! this post is about how when i go up north and i say “y’all it really is like i’m living in a different country” NOBODY BELIEVES ME. we speak the same language, we’re all americans, right? PFFFFFT. this amazon van thing just drives it home (pun intended). here’s a list of differences from the deep south* to the rest of the country*:

*the deep south here meaning the RURAL deep south. sorry to everyone who lives in cities/the suburbs and/or in border states like maryland and virginia. i’ve been to maryland and virginia and they are technically southern and some of this applies to them but it is not quite as extreme as it is here. the rest of the country includes the other states i’ve been to (california, washington state, new york, etc), which are in mostly every area except the midwest. i cannot personally vouch for the midwest. sorry, midwesterners! rural midwest probably has a lot of things in common with the deep south because rural life is different and also how easily people move around this country, but whatever

this is a long-ass post get ready

difference #1: DRIVING. driving & pedestrians are entirely different un rural areas vs urban areas. for starters, southern towns often do not even have sidewalks. this is because of 1. budget and 2. racism.

budget: rural towns are very spread out, and it costs major $$$ to put sidewalks in. it’s just not worth the trouble, financially, to put a sidewalk where only 12 people are ever going to use it, AND spend the money to maintain it. never gonna happen. racism: initially, suburbs especially in the south were seen as safe havens where people could get away from the stress of living in “urban” (re: integrated) areas. that the neighborhoods were only accessible by car and NOT by people who were too poor (black) to afford automobiles were just an added bonus. 

as such, the first time i left the southeast, i was SHOCKED to see people walking and biking WITH (or indifferent to) the flow of traffic. down here we are taught that if you are walking along the road (or biking, because bikers get lumped in with pedestrians down here), it is very very very crucial that you walk against the flow of traffic, because you cannot expect drivers to see you and not mow you down. the onus is on YOU to get out of THEIR way. additionally, walking in knee-high grass along the side of the road sucks, and because there aren’t many people here, the roads are usually totally empty. so oftentimes pedestrians just straight up walk ON the road. and if you do that you absolutely have to be able to see a car coming from a long way away, because rural drivers on completely empty roads tend to take them at extremely high speeds just for fun. the people who live diagonally across from me have had to replace their mailbox four times because folks take that blind curve at 90mph. i had a cat get hit by a car on that road. (they all live indoors now.) i even witnessed a car accident happen there when i was just outside minding my own business. ever see a tire fly 12 feet into the air and come down into someone’s windshield? that’s what happens when you hit power line pole driving like that.

the first time i ever encountered one of those pedestrian crossing buttons was in california in the early 2010s. i had literally never seen one before because we simply don’t have them here. they’re not very self-explanatory if you have been jaywalking your whole entire life because all you’re taught to do is look both ways and make sure the street is empty before you cross. northern/urban roadways are made so that pedestrians and drivers can both get to where they’re going. in rural/southern areas pedestrians might as well not bother.

interestingly, while not an entirely southern problem, there’s a loose correlation between rural areas and more problems with drunk drivers.

on the driving side, driving in a city is batshit insane. it’s both faster and slower. there is NO space and you’re expected to go whenever you have so much as an inch to worm your way in. there’s more traffic, and the traffic totally dictates your speed. in the south you can change lanes if you want to drive faster or slower and weave around traffic or let it weave around you, but in a city there’s no other lane to change to and if you don’t drive at the speed of the people ahead of and behind you you will die. you turn fast, you brake fast, etc. whenever i come back from driving in a city the people who ride with me think i’m insane. you don’t PULL ONTO A ROAD if you can SEE ANOTHER CAR THERE, what the fuck? meanwhile i’m like “lol that is six miles of space i have plenty of time” and give everyone in my vicinity heart palpitations until i readjust. 

tailgating in a rural area is something only assholes do (done by people on a two-lane road to encourage the person in front of them to go faster because the only other lane is for oncoming traffic), and if someone gets within one car length of me on a two-lane road i can very passively aggressively slow my vehicle to a crawl until they back the fuck off. in a city you’re lucky if you have a twelve inches between your bumper and the next car’s hood ornament.

difference #2: LANGUAGE. this is a small one, but the southern dialect combined with the lack of literacy means i am learning certain things late in life. phrases i have heard verbally with my ears but had never seen written out include: “chest of drawers” which i thought was “chester drawers” - “seven year itch” which i thought was “seven year each” - “albeit” which i thought was “i’ll be it.” i’ve made a deliberate effort to unlearn mine own accent/dialect but i run into weird shit all the time. remotes are mashers, shopping carts are buggies, you put stuff up instead of putting it away, i fix you a drink instead of pouring you one, we shoot the game instead of play it. my mom LITERALLY can’t understand me if i speak too quickly - she has to remind me all the time to slow down and put on my southern.

difference #3: TECHNOLOGY. issue of whether or not you personally have the creepy amazon vans aside, the rural south is behind the rest of the country on technology. things in cities are AUTOMATED. things like the little button you press to cross the street, tickets you take at parking garages, even the parking meters you find in cities, that’s just the beginning of it. one time i came across a little computer touch screen in a MCDONALDS where you put your order in. you didn’t even go up to the counter. you just put your order on the screen and swiped your card and then they got it ready for you and you never had to speak to a human person. self-checkouts, gas pumps where you can swipe your card and not go in and pay at first...the south got those YEARS behind everybody else. in the mid-2010s i went to DC and visited a target for maybe the 5th time ever and i was BAFFLED by the self-checkout. i had no idea how to use it! it was like less than ten years ago and i was IN MY TWENTIES and i had never seen one before! when we send a package we have to talk to a human person. when we order food we usually have to talk to a human person. apps for places like dominos and subway have not been in use here for very long. my county just got doordash LAST YEAR. 

because i am 31, and because the south is so technologically behind, i am actually old enough to remember how when you used to go to a gas station an attendant would not only pump your gas but wash your windshield for you while you just SAT IN THE CAR. that seems like something from the 50s but it actually was a thing here in my childhood IN the 90s. i wish i was making this up.

difference #4: INFRASTRUCTURE. this sort of goes hand-in-hand w/ the last point because so much of our infrastructure is made of technology, and it’s also more of a rural/urban thing than a south/north thing. but just for fun here’s a non-exhaustive list of things i don’t have in my town:

starbucks* - the first time i went to a starbucks i was in my 20s

a public pool - we used to, but now the only pool here requires a YMCA membership. the only baseball diamond in this county is also at the Y.

walmart

in fact, ANYWHERE to buy clothes that is not a goodwill or other secondhand store. i cannot buy clothing unless i order it online or LEAVE MY TOWN. almost all of the clothing i own is from walmart because it’s one of the only places in my entire county where you can actually PURCHASE clothing.

grocery store chains? pffft. my town has two entire stores and both are small southern chains. i didn’t go into a publix for the first time until two years ago when i went to florida. i’ve NEVER entered a whole foods.

food delivery? yeah, no. like i said, we got doordash last year, but before that the only place you could get delivery from was a pizza chain. we only have two pizza places in my town that deliver, and one is a local place, not attached to any chain, so i can’t spend my loyalty points there. (it’s very expensive there too.) last year it was CLOSED for six months because the manager got caught dealing meth. every last one of the delivery drivers was trafficking it for him. they all got fired and had to restart from the ground up. for that short time, it was not possible to get any food delivered to your house whatsoever.

a hospital/ambulance services - if someone is sick, we have to take them to the hospital in laurens, the town next door (about 15-20 minutes by car). the town i live in lucky - we have our own police and fire departments. (acab but you know what i mean.) joanna is a smaller town next to mine that isn’t a real town - it’s been demoted to a census designated area because only 2000 people live there. if they have an emergency, they have to use OUR fire and police departments, and LAURENS’s ambulance/hospital system

after-school places kids can go to keep from getting into trouble. we have the Y, if you have money (no one here has money), and we have churches, but mostly schools can’t afford to run too many extracurriculars. there’s nothing to do here but church and meth.

food banks: zero. we have food DRIVES sometimes where people will come from further away and bring free food, but if you’re hungry, there’s nowhere you can go for help - you have to wait for help to come to you.

libraries: we don’t have our own library. we have a branch of the county library that’s physically located in our town. but we share books with the rest of the entire county, so everything is always checked out or at the other branch. 

*we technically have a starbucks that’s in the local college campus, but only college students are allowed to be there. they’ll still serve people without a college ID because no one gives a fuck, but you can’t linger and loiter and hang out like you do in a normal starbucks. we also have one in the barnes and noble in greenville, which is about an hour away by car, but again, it’s a mini starbucks that serves a limited menu and none of that weird Starbucks Culture™

here’s a few things i don’t have in my ENTIRE COUNTY:

movie theaters - technically. we have a Historial™ one-screen theater in laurens that shows one movie for two weeks a month after it hits regular theaters and then switches to another, and if you miss it, too bad. this is a VERY recent addition - it wasn’t restores until i was in my 20s as a kid and a teenager i had to ride in a car an hour or more to go to the movies.

target. only commies and yankees have target. down here we do walmart.

malls

arcades

skate parks/skating rinks

bowling

museums

zoos/aquariums

campgrounds

fairs. our county fairground got razed a decade ago because there just werent enough people showing up to justify the expense. so no more fairs. you have to have people to fund things and down here there just aren’t enough people anywhere.

you get the idea. we don’t have entertainment. like i said, nothing to do but church and meth.

CLASSES FOR STUFF: knitting classes, dancing classes, driving classes? nope. gymnastics, karate dojos, golf, knitting groups, books clubs, cooking classes? [GAMESHOW BUZZER]. you can’t even hire a clown for a birthday party out here. we do have a shooting range. ONE. in the entire county. and a race track. and a rather infamous former kkk memorabilia store. they made a movie about that (serious tw for this trailer - they’ve got white hoods, burning crosses, pepper spray, the whole nine), which, yes, takes place in laurens, aka right next door to me. i used to walk by that place all the time when i was playing pokemon go. haven’t seen the movie but the shooting locations in the trailer make laurens look a lot bigger and prettier than it really is in real life - especially the racetrack, which, in the trailer, is actually PAVED. (this is inaccurate to real life.)

EDUCATION: lots of people can’t read. we have two schools for illiterate adults, one religious college, and one branch of one of the state colleges that has a skeleton staff and a fuck ton of computers (you basically just go there to distance learn/e-learn - if you want to take real classes from this college, you have to drive at least an hour.)

support groups/group therapy: almost none. we have al-anon and weight watchers, but that’s about it. there’s only half a dozen therapists in my entire county, and none that operate from my town. mental healthcare down here is bullshit.

on food: we don’t have many sit-down restaurants, where servers bring you your menu and your food. if you don’t count waffle houses, my town has 4. my county has 9. in and out, 5 guys, applebees, ruby tuesday, red lobster, olive garden, panda epxress? forget it. those places were and still are rare treats. i’ve only been to an olive garden twice. red lobster once. whenever i leave my county i BEG for chinese because there’s only two chinese restaurants in our entire county and one of them is crazy expensive and the other one sucks. 

we also don’t have the more important stores you need to like, live. if we need to exchange our router at a charter store? yeah, we don’t have one. need to visit the sprint store to get your phone repaired? nuh-uh, we don’t have any phone stores either. my family recently switched to at&t because it was the only company that had a physical location in our county. before that, we had to drive an hour for even the smallest repair.

on a grimer note: we don’t have homeless shelters! homeless in laurens county? too bad for you. we do have homeless PEOPLE. they just have nowhere to go except the churches

hospitals? only kind of. like i said, our county has one, but it’s not equipped to take seriously sick people. when my mom had a heart attack she had to be driven straight to greenwood, which is 45 minutes away if you’re not in an ambulance. they obviously made it faster than that, but still. that was scary. it took them a long time to get here. i had a distant relative of mine die before the ambulance made it because they were SO far out in the sticks, even further than me.

we also don’t have any specialty stores. sporting goods, gamestops, shoe stores, florists, craft stores, bookstores, best buys...forget it. if you can’t buy it at walmart, you just can’t buy it. the exceptions: my TOWN has one jewelry store, two hardware stores, and two auto repair stores. my COUNTY has three clothing stores, none of which are in my town, one place that sells used TVs, and one movie rental place. thrilling, right? i can rent a movie if i drive out of town. (i know streaming killed the rental business, but we also only had two places when i was a kid, if you counted the rental section in the grocery store.)

so, yeah. i know the term “shithole” is really loaded these days, but rural areas are just plain less developed, and often in seriously poor repair because nobody fucking uses them. there USED to be more stuff here - my mom was on a bowling league, and as a kid i had a birthday party at a skating rink - but late stage capitalism and drugs destroyed it all. people ran out of money to do things like skate and bowl and so those places closed. the south is full of empty store fronts and deserted strip malls slowly being eaten by kudzu. my brother got out of this town and whenever he winds up back here (not often) he remarks on how completely and utterly dead everything feels. “my friends who live in greenwood now think they’re all rural,” he said once. “they complain constantly about how remote it is. but they have no idea. they wouldn’t make it five minutes out here.” greenwood has its own movie theater, mall, starbucks, homeless shelter, food bank, and hospital.

so, yeah! if you were wondering what rural white southerners are so fucking mad about, that’s part of it. propaganda and xenophobia and racism has their anger directed ENTIRELY at the wrong people, but it’s hard to argue that the anger itself isn’t just a little bit justified.

difference #5: CULTURE. specifically culture around food, and the culture around the civil war. i could write an entire other essay about the culture of the church being everything because the church IS the only semblance of infrastructure we have and this is why the south is so homophobic, but we’ll skip that for now.

food: this is a quickie, because i sort of touched on it already, but there are like, almost NO vegetarian options here. there’s very limited choices of cuisine. it’s ALL waffle house and soul food. we have a lot of mexican places because we’re physically close to the mexican border, but aside from that, forget finding like indian or thai or japanese or anything like that. no sushi. forget finding a menu that has meals that are halal or kosher. there’s just. no culture here. no variety. you know? like i said, our entire county doesn’t even hit double-digits for proper sit-down restaurants.

civil war: i’m not going to go into the big stuff since i sort of covered it at the top and also this post is getting way too long, but to other white rural southerners there is legitimate baggage around the fact that my mom married a yankee and that i am half-yankee. and he’s not even a real yankee! he was born up north but raised in southern florida. (florida is weird. the further south you go geographically, the less southern you are culturally.) yet: my family makes jokes that are sometimes not jokes about this. when i drop this information in casual conversation people get that look on their faces like: ah, that explains it. it being that i am not religious and don’t laugh at racist jokes and maybe i am queer?? (strangers tend to be unsure about this last part, even when i’m wearing rainbows.) it’s because i’m half-yank! that explains everything! the xenophobia is SO strong here that white people are even xenophobic at OTHER WHITE PEOPLE. 

so in conclusion when i say the north is like another country, it’s because the people who raised me think of it like another country. and culturally! it is buck wild! the differences that there are! when i leave this town i feel like i step into fucking star trek! if you are not from the rural south, and you have never been to the rural south, please do not come here! i’ve been to a few different places now and this is definitely my least favorite one. 

[digitalworldbound]

miyako and hikari (platonic) for 133?

Number 133: “Slushies aren’t just for kids. Fuck society!”

Characters: Miyako & Hikari. Finally, one of my 02 babies! This is set while the girls are maybe around 15 and 16.

I wrote this in first person as Hikari, just to give it a more casual, carefree feel! I hope you enjoy these teenager-y, summer vibes. The ending kind of sucks, but please ignore it. (Minor swearing) 

Send me a prompt! 

As a certified teenager, it’s safe to assume that I love summer. Why wouldn’t I? It’s the time of the year when you can pretty much do whatever you like. Summer is the grand time where the months-long prep and countdown for family vacations actually come in fruition.

But there’s danger that lurks during summer. It’s the trap of monotony where sleeping late, waking up at noon, watching endless TV, and playing video games for hours become a routine. Well, not if you are friends with Miyako.

Despite chatting with friends into the wee hours of the morning, the girl is an early riser. She’s the “get up and go” type, only grabbing a banana for breakfast as she sprints out the front door. Afterall, an object in motion in stays in motion.

It was the first Saturday of summer vacation when she barged into my room, a flurry of purple hair and lipgloss. “Hika!” she screeched. Miyako was one of the only people that called me by a nickname, and never failed to abuse this privilege. “What are you still doing in bed? If you want to go scope out hot guys on the beach with me, you have to get up. We’re burning daylight!”

I didn’t even have to glance at the clock to know that it was inhumanly early. The coffee machine in the kitchen was silent, and the sound of my brother snoring permeated the apartment. Somehow, I managed to pull myself away from the warmth of a slept-in comforter, yawning all the while. Before my feet hit the floor, Miyako was rummaging through my wardrobe, clicking her tongue in disapproval at my large collection of borrowed basketball t-shirts. “Hmm, where do all these come from, I wonder?” she asked pointedly. She laughed airily, flashing me a wink.

“Ha, ha, Miya, very funny. You know me and him are just friends,” I offered, attempting to stretch the sleep out of my joints. She shook her head in disapproval, purple ponytail swinging behind her.

A note about Miyako: she fancies herself a matchmaker, and believed I was her perfect target.

For years, she has tried everything to pair me up with my best friend. A few summers ago, she locked us both in the hall closet, smushing us between the extra linens and a scratchy, wool blanket. Takeru and I are pretty close, so we weren’t particularly bothered by our close proximity. We might have been able to enjoy our time together had Miyako not forgotten about us. It wasn’t until my brother came home from soccer practice that someone heard our desperate pleas for freedom. Ever since then, she has stayed out of it.

With a hum of approval, she tossed a sundress in my direction.  I barely had time to catch the flimsy, yellow fabric before she barked out another order. “Go to the bathroom and put that on, we need to hurry.”

Another note about Miyako: Never argue with her when she gets in one of her Moods.

My socked feet padded their way silently to the bathroom, pausing only to check the time displayed in the hall: 7:45 in the morning. Changing quickly, I slipped the sundress over last season’s bathing suit, adjusting the straps as the material settled around my hips. Miyako, being a full year older than me, had taken puberty gracefully, filling out gradually and evenly. My body, it seemed, had other plans. The hips seemed to be its first priority, leaving the top of my dress little to fill itself out.

I made my way back towards my room, careful to avoid any creaky floorboards. Miyako sat atop my bed, flicking through a stray magazine. She hadn’t noticed my arrival, and I took my few extra moments of silence to study her.

This past semester, she had shot up several inches, giving her legs the slender look of a model. Her cut-off shorts only emphasized this fact. Her Hawaiian-esque button down should have been tacky, but she left the buttons undone, showing off her camisole underneath. A bathing suit top poked out from underneath it, accentuated her new curves. Compared to her, I felt like a little girl playing dress up.

While I struggled to coax the tangles out of my horrendous bedhead, Miyako gave me the rundown of the day. “Okay, so I was thinking we hit up Starbucks first. They have some new fruity lemonade that I’ve been dying to try, and I’m also kind of hungry.” As if to punctuate her statement, my own stomach growled, and I grinned sheepishly up at her. “Make that two of us,” I laughed.

She rambled on about sunbathing and beach volleyball, the metallic jingle of her bracelets accentuating every point. Miyako talked with her hands, making gestures large and small as if it would help the listener understand her better. Spoiler alert: it never did, but it was fun to watch all the same.

My hair finally tamed, I applied some light concealer, desperate to rid myself of the dark circles clinging underneath my eyes. “You know,” her jingling stops, “You really don’t need any makeup, Hika.”

I only snort in response; taking compliments has never been my forte. Grabbing my purse and phone, I slipped on a pair of sandals. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Let’s rock and roll!”

-

As one could expect on the first weekend of summer vacation, Odaiba beach was cluttered with people. For mile it seemed the white sand was obscured by sunburnt bodies and an array of towels, but that was understandable.

The passing heat wave had been brutal. One could not go outside without sunscreen, lest risk getting sun poisoning. Within minutes, Miyako sucked her lemonade dry, settling on chewing the left-over ice. “Oh!” she squealed, bits of ice flinging about. “An empty spot, just over there!”

Years of running away from evil Digimon  looked like practice as we narrowly dodged the ample bodies of beach-goers. Arms linked together; our feet kicked up sand behind us as we ran. Just as we were about to secure our small area, a blue beach towel obscured the white sand.

I was panting too hard to notice Miyako’s eyes light up or the stranger’s shadow obscure the sun’s rays.

“Hey, guys! What are you two doing here?” a familiar voice asked, humor lifting at the end of his question. My breathing stopped mid-pant, silently cursing whatever deity that would listen. Once my heartbeat was under control, I managed to stand up straight. Raising a singular eyebrow, I challenged our guest. “Well, Takeru, the last time I checked, this beach is open to the public.”

His blonde hair reflected the sunshine, a soft, golden glow haloing around him. As if I needed any more reason to fall in love with him. He laughed in good nature, smiling a boyish, toothy grin.

“You took our spot.” Miyako pointed out, arms crossed over her chest. Wrinkles formed between her brows, her effort to look more menacing. A pair of heart-shaped sunglasses shielded her hazel eyes, and I almost giggled at the thought of her trying to look domineering while wearing something so innocent.

“Who says we all can’t share?” he countered; blues eyes illuminated by mischief. Never one to back down from a challenge, Miyako stood her ground, “I don’t think so.”

Anxiety clenched at my stomach. As of late, being in a close proximity to Takeru made me nervous, especially when he was shirtless with little rivets of water trailing their way down his abs. He was no longer the cute little eight-year-old that sat with me by the campfire. Years of basketball practice had solidified his athletic figure, and two summers ago, his growth spurt had him towering over his own brother. Seeing him in nothing but a pair of swimming trunks did not help my flushed state.

“It’ll be fine, Miyako. We can just squish our towel beside his.”  Rolling her eyes, she begrudgingly pulled out her Hello Kitty! themed towel, spreading it haphazardly on the ground. “Let’s just get in the water. That’s where all of the cute guys are, anyway.”

Takeru, for his part, pretended not to notice the hostility in her voice. He was as used to her moodiness as I was. Standing there awkwardly, he only made the move to leave as we began to strip down to our bikinis. “I should probably go find Ken and Daisuke. I’ll catch you both later,” he stammered, eyes intently focused on the granules of sand that had clung themselves to his hands.

Looking at each other, Miyako and I burst into a fit of giggles. She had a twinkle in her eyes as she wiggled her eyebrows in my direction. “No, absolutely not.” I deadpan, knowing exactly where this was about to go.

Her glossed bottom lip poked out, her attempt at a puppy-dog look. In my opinion, she looked more like a Kardashian, and when I told her exactly this, the lip was sucked right back in.

Though it was still pretty early, the sun was high in the sky. My cheeks were warm, and my shoulders had turned a light shade of pink. “We need to put some sunscreen on before we fry.”

“Nah, I’m good. I need to work on my tan anyway.” Miyako’s high-waisted bikini bottoms and halter bathing suit top suited her figure, the cornflower blue color complimenting the slight tan she had already developed. She raised an eyebrow at my pink one-piece, but I just shrugged. Shopping for a skimpy bathing suits had never been one of my priorities.

Neither of us felt comfortable oogling guys when our friends were here and apt to make fun of us, so the though of swimming was abandoned. I smeared sunblock on any bit exposed skin, using the technique a toddler would when icing a cake: all hands on deck.  

The pair of us sprawled out, Miyako’s body covering most of the cartoon cat. My pale legs claimed Takeru’s towel as my own. His blonde hair had disappeared in the throngs of beachgoers, and considering that he wasn’t the sunbathing type, I figured he wouldn’t complain.  

Rays of sunshine encapsulated me, and the muscles in my shoulders slowly unwound. Eyes closed, I only half-listened to surrounding conversation. A child begged his mother for ice cream while some teenaged girl made her move. A nearby volleyball game was in full swing, both teams shouting at one another. The summer air was stagnant, smelling of sunscreen, sweat, and salt.

We laid around, soaking in the sunshine and the freedom that came with summer vacation. Those last few weeks of school had been stressful. Between taking pictures for the school paper and studying for any upcoming exams, I had been ready to lose my mind. Takeru had also been acting strange, flip-flopping between avoiding me at all costs or never letting me out of his sight. It had all be so intense that I was grateful for Miyako’s distraction, even if it meant waking up at the ass-crack of dawn.

“Psst.” I whispered. I rolled onto my side, doing my best to ignore the way iced coffee moved around in my belly. In our haste to get to the overcrowded seaside, we had forgone any breakfast, hoping that caffeine would be enough to fuel us throughout the day. The rumble in my stomach proved otherwise.

Miyako groaned, peeking at me through her ridiculously long lashes. Note to self: interrogate her about the brand of mascara she uses.

“Psst, Miyako.” She ignored me once again, opting to rotate like a rotisserie chicken.

“Ugh, fine, I’ll go find food on my own.” I stood up, dusting invisible debris off of my legs. Sure enough, I had my friend’s full attention. Anything that involved eating always got her going. In a flurry of purple hair and sand, she was up on her feet, eyes searching for the nearest snack source. A laugh bubbled out of my throat. Miyako tended to do all things with a theatrical flair, making even the most mundane tasks enjoyable.

Once, in middle school, we were both sentenced to lunch duty. Our job was simple: serve food to our peers. Dishing out food was easy; just ladle the mystery meat on a plate and voila! You were finished. It would have been simple enough, had we not had to wear hairnets and white smocks that made us look more like a middle-aged lunch lady than we ever wanted to. Miyako was never the type to wallow in self-pity. She ignored the looks of sympathy other girls gave us and found pleasure in the odd slurp sound the food made when hitting the trays. Soon, it became a competition of who could create the best squelch, testing out different flinging techniques until we were satisfied. By then end of lunch period, our smocks were littered with oil stain, and our cheeks were sore from smiling.

Miyako channeled her inner lunch lady food-flinging abilities as she practically pushed innocent bystanders out of her way. God help those who stood between Miyako and, well, whatever it was that she wanted. Her ponytail navigated through the crowd, giving me no choice but to follow. Her legs lead us to a slushie cart, manned by a woman who was all smiles and sticky syrup. It might not have been solid food, but I wouldn’t deny myself a sugar high.

A small line had already formed, several children tugging on their parents’ sleeves. My bathing suit clung to my skin uncomfortably. I tried to shift in place, but the air was thick with heat. Aside from seeing my childhood crush half-naked, waking up early hadn’t been the best idea. The sun was high in the sky, my morning shadow disappearing.

The line moved quickly, and before long, the pair of us stood at the front, pondering our choices. Finger resting on her lip in faux-concentration, Miyako made a show of deciding on a flavor “Could I have a mix of wild cherry and blue raspberry, please?”  

“Why pretend to chose when you get the same thing every time?” As a woman of few pleasures, I found a great joy in calling Miyako out. Her flush of embarrassment was a rare sight.  Turning towards the employee, I order the first flavor to have ‘strawberry’ in its name.

A few minutes later, we found ourselves walking along the shoreline. The waves lapped at our bare feet and we slurped on our slushies, rambling on about anything that came to mind.

“You know,” I said, disrupting the natural lull of conversation, “The last time I drank a slushie like this was before I even met you.”

By now, Miyako’s slushie had melted into a dark purple, the last remnants of red dye staining her lips. “But slushies are, like, a summer staple. What’s up with that?”

I twirled my straw around, savoring the last bits of pink ice that had collected on the bottom of my cup. “Well, my brother would probably make fun of me. He already gives me a hard-enough time about my ice cream addiction; he says sweet things are for children.” Switching voices, I lowered my pitch and curled my arms, much like an ape would at the zoo. In a horrible attempt at mocking my brother, I continued, “ ‘Hikari, sweets bad, protein good. Eat more meat.’”

I took a few more steps before I realized she was no longer beside me. Turning around, I barely had time to register the shocked look on her features before she cried out: “Slushies are not just for kids! Fuck him!” Apparently, my friend took summer treats very seriously. 

If her passionate outburst hadn’t of attracted attention, her colorful language sure did. Quickly, I grabbed her arm, hastily pulling her towards our belongings. Embarrassment colored my cheeks as I attempted to dodge the gazes of judgmental bystanders. “Miyako, you can’t just say things like that,” I whispered to her, clenched teeth giving my tone a pinched quality.

“C’mon,” I thrusted her towel into her arms, “let’s get out of here before we get kicked out.”

Pulling on her shorts, she cast me a sideways glance. “I’m sorry, Hika, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Sighing, I held both of her hands between mine. “You said what you did because you care about me, and I can’t fault you for that.” I gathered up the rest of my own belongings before continuing. “Besides, you forgot to feed me today. I’m thinking we get some McDonald’s. Your treat?”

She laughed, hands now busying themselves with her shirt. “Isn’t McDonald’s for kids?”

Tossing my purse over my shoulder, I turned around and winked. “Fuck society.”

[maren-as-an-adult]

The 2020 Experience, Part 4

December was...rough. Every free moment I had was spent looking for better paying jobs and more apartments. Christmas gifts were planned and purchased under extreme budget. I had an upcoming OB-GYN appointment. And the accumulated stress finally broke me physically and mentally.

I started noticing it when I had my OB-GYN appointment. My appointment wasn’t until 4:30pm, but I wanted to get some Christmas shopping done, so I took an early train into Atlantic Terminal to do some shopping in and around Barclay’s Center. I didn’t have breakfast before I left, so I grabbed a latte and a slice of iced lemon cake from Starbucks. There were some benches outside where I sat down and ate. Afterwards, I hit up Target and Marshall’s. Once I was in line for Marshall’s, I started feeling... off. I could feel my pulse rushing in my face, and my stomach felt simultaneously empty and twisted upside down. I couldn’t tell if I felt like I was going to vomit or poop, or if I was just really gassy and needed to fart. I made it through purchasing and left to sit down somewhere, anywhere. I think I settled down in front of either TJ Maxx or Burlington on the ground. I pulled my knees into my chest, waiting and hoping for this feeling to pass. After about 15 minutes and no change, I knew I needed to find a bathroom. And in COVID times, I had a better chance of finding a four-leaf clover growing out of the concrete than a public toilet I could access.

Target, however, was my savior. Having purchased from them earlier, I happily took advantage of their open and clean bathroom facilities. I won’t go into too much detail, but I will say I spent a long time on that toilet trying to feel better. Eventually I had to move on, and I decided I would go outside and get as much fresh air as I could, hoping that would somehow cure me of this... whatever feeling it was. It helped, or at least that’s what I told myself as I slowly sipped water from my water bottle. I tried to make one last stop at one last shop before heading down to Bay Ridge for my OB-GYN appointment, but after two instances where I was forced to sit down again and wait for the feeling to pass to something barely more manageable, I decided the best course of action would be to arrive exceptionally early to my appointment and hope they had an unoccupied bathroom I could access.

Thankfully, they did. I somehow managed a thirty minute train ride, a ten minute wait for the bus, a ten minute bus ride, and a ten minute walk to the doctor’s office, where after filling out a few forms I retreated to their very clean single occupancy bathroom. I felt awful and wanted something done about it, so I open mouth breathed while kneeling in front of the toilet bowl for a while. It’s a technique I use when I feel like I may throw up and want to encourage my stomach to expel whatever’s clearly upsetting it. [I also wish to take this moment to make this very clear: I am not, nor have I ever been, bulimic. I don’t endorse or condone bulimia. I’m sure it’s very easy to read what I just wrote as inducing vomiting to purposefully purge, but it is not. I was not trying to make myself vomit, but I was prepared for that to happen should my body have decided that’s what it needed to do.] What ended up happening was about five minutes of dry heaving before my body apparently decided that because there was nothing there, that nothing was wrong anymore.

What was wrong with me? I hadn’t interacted with anyone who was sick, had I? I had recently started babysitting, could I have gotten something from one of the kids? Was I not as diligent as I thought I’d been with maintaining social distance and wearing a mask and sanitizing and washing my hands? Or was it something else? All I’d had to eat that day was some processed cake and a sugary latte, could I possibly have developed celiac disease overnight? Was my body finally shutting down it’s lactose-digesting functions? Was I just really overcaffeinated because I forgot to specify “half-caf” in my Starbucks order?

I posited these queries to my doctor while she poked around my vagina. She said it was possible I could be lactose intolerant or I could be crashing from the caffeine. When the staff had taken my temperature I wasn’t running a fever, so it wasn’t likely I’d caught anything off of someone. With a final fingering to gauge the position of my uterus (I learned it has a slight anterior tilt), my appointment was done and I was free to go home. Though I felt better, I decided against calling on my old roommates and to instead just head back to Graham’s. I made one last gift purchase before hopping on the LIRR, and my Christmas shopping was essentially done.

The feeling didn’t disappear though, and on some days it became unmanageable. My GI system was clearly in distress, and not a lot was helping. I found a few packs of ginger turmeric tea at Graham’s house and made myself a cup, firmly placing my faith in the healing properties of what some (uncultured) people call “hot leaf juice”. I think it helped, but I can’t be sure. I’d told Graham about what was going on and what I thought it could be, and he could sympathize and to a degree empathize. It wasn’t until one night when I was again dry heaving into a toilet bowl that Graham fully saw what an awful state I was in. I told him at this point I thought it was a manifestation of the stress we’d been under for the past eight weeks. For eight weeks we’d been searching for apartments, passing on nice ones just out of our budget, trying to come to terms with the infinite number of mediocre same-floor plan, same-color, same-appliances, same-building looking ones, and getting discouraged with the shitty, falling apart ones. I had spent my first Thanksgiving away from my family and had resigned myself to spending Christmas apart from my family for the first time as well. I’d had three separate COVID tests in the past two months. I hadn’t spoken to my therapist since before Thanksgiving. And I had spent the entire month at Graham’s family’s house, which was not something I had wanted.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. Truly, I’m indebted to Graham’s mom for letting me not only stay with them rent-free (but agreeing to walk their dogs) but also keep my stuff there while she is also getting ready to move out. But I have never felt comfortable calling someone else’s place my home. I cannot help but feel like an outsider, and no matter how many times people tell me to “make [myself] comfortable” and “help [myself] to whatever food there is” I will feel like an imposition and a burden. It’s only my anxiety coming through, but it comes through LOUD.

I finally scheduled an appointment with my therapist again, and poured all this out to him. I told him exactly how bad things had gotten, and not for the first time I considered asking to be prescribed anti-anxiety medication and possibly antidepressants. I decided to keep going without them...for now.

Christmas Eve came and Graham, his family, and I all celebrated together. We were gifted some lovely items to start our life living together, like a knife set, a set of glasses, new bedding, and a casserole dish. It was a lovely respite from the stress.

On Christmas Day, Graham and I went to see another apartment. This apartment was in the same building as the apartment we almost signed for, and the only differences were that this apartment was on a lower floor and didn’t have a balcony. It was also almost $100/month less than what we had almost agreed to. The owner said he would send over the application and answers to our questions on Monday. We both felt good about this apartment.

When Monday came with no e-mail from the guy, I reached out to him to ask when we could expect it. His response was that he had just been diagnosed with COVID-19 and now wanted to sell instead of rent. This became all too much for me, and when I got back into Graham’s car as we were out running errands, I started screaming. I hadn’t screamed like this since a particularly bad day of work I had back when I worked at Target. It was cathartic, but I felt cold and disconnected from Graham for the rest of the day. Something had broken inside me, and I wasn’t sure if it was my heart, my soul, my mind, or all three. It took a while for me to recover, and honestly I’m still hurt and feel betrayed by this guy. I understand I cannot speak for what’s best for him or what he felt he should have done, but Graham and I felt that we were given the runaround by this guy. We scheduled another COVID test for ourselves, and tried to move forward.

We made it to New Year’s Eve, and stayed up to watch 2020 end. New Year’s felt somber this year, and it felt hard to celebrate the start of a new year when the one we just went through was so damaging.

But we made it. We’re here, and it’s the first week of January in 2021. Currently there are radical conservatives storming the Capitol protesting the electoral college results, but in less than 20 days, Trump will be out of office. I’ve given myself goals that are manageable for the new year, and Graham and I have three applications out for three different apartments, and there’s a chance we may be able to get the apartment we saw on Christmas Day. We keep moving forward, because the alternative is to not move at all.

And I refuse to allow that for myself.

[blog-sliverofjade]

Of Doms & Subs 5: Field Trip

Pairing: Angus Hopper x OFC

Summary:  What's a submissive female to do when she fights her nature and goes on the run as a Lone wolf to avoid being assimilated into a pack?

Word count: 1896

Of Doms & Subs Master List

“Don’t feel guilty, think of it as a bribe,” Mickayla said when she’d told me we were going shopping and I was to leave my wallet behind.  I stared at her.  “Think of trying out packs as like dating.  This is a date at a fine restaurant with a dozen roses,” she explained.  “And just like dates are a way for potential mates to prove they can provide, this is how we prove that we can take care of our members.”

“It sounds more like you’re looking for an excuse to go shopping,” I said dryly.  “But you’ll harass me until I give in, so ok.”

“You already know her so well,” Matt said with a hint of a smirk.  She elbowed him in the ribs and she only put up a token struggle when he wrapped her up in his arms.  I looked away.  The whole pack seemed to be much more touchy-feely than I was comfortable with.

“Meh, I’d go for another five minutes, tops, before I pulled the Dommy voice on you.”  She tossed her head so that Matt momentarily ended up with a face full of her hair.

“Dommy voice?”

“Dominant and mommy.  Dommy,” Matt explained, nuzzling his wife’s hair.

“Oh.”  I hid my blush by turning to shrug into my jacket.  Don’t ask if you don’t wanna know the answer.

The first stop was Pike Place Market, which was already packed despite the early hour.  Matt led the way to plow a path for us through the crowd with Mickayla following him so that all I could see was her curtain of golden hair and perky butt.  Shane was on my heels, but not so close that he was breathing down my neck.  None of the others had wanted to go shopping, preferring instead to play video games.  Some things stay the same no matter the species.

I normally treat shopping like I imagine Navy SEALs treat missions: get in, get target, and get out ASAP.  Mickayla obviously did not subscribe to this philosophy.  Most of the items we had acquired so far were for her.  I was too busy trying to ignore the din and overwhelming aromas invading my senses.  My wolf also wanted to snap at every stranger who bumped into us, which thankfully was only once or twice.  Most people took one look at my companions and steered a wide berth.

We were climbing a stairway that seemed to narrow even further and the low ceiling felt like it was pressing down on my head.  I swayed on the edge of the stair as the wolf surged up, tearing at me, wanting to run from the mass of consumers.  Pain rippled along my skin and burst like spikes in my joints until I nearly fell backward until Shane stepped forward until his firm chest allowed me to lean against him.  An instant later, Matt and Mickayla flanked me, forcing the flow of shoppers to part around the island that we made.

Normally I didn’t like people touching me.  Certainly not people I’d known less than a day and not so close as this.  But I relaxed into the warmth and comfort of their bodies.  Their combined scent surrounded me like a warm, familiar blanket.  No one said anything.  They didn’t have to.  Their eyes all had the same look of understanding.  My whole body felt raw.  If I had shifted in the middle of Pike’s Place on Labor Day weekend…

“Reason number four why packs are awesome: dominants can help when you’re about to lose it,” Mickayla said gently, having seen the panic on my face.  She slipped her arm through mine in what was becoming a familiar gesture.  “Let’s head some place a little quieter.”

The weather was a bit too grey and windy for anyone other than locals and werewolves, so we had the waterfront mostly to ourselves as we sipped hot drinks from the first Starbucks location.  The movement helped ease the need to run and calm my wolf.  After a while, Mickayla paused to check that a bench was dry before sitting and patting the spot next to her.  The men wandered a little way upwind, arguing about the game last night.

“Ok fine, you made your point,” I sighed and sank down next to her.  “What was it this time, how long I’d last before going furry?”

“Not on this one,” she shook her head and immediately had to pick strands of hair out of her mouth when the wind caught it.  “But that’s not the question you should be asking.”

I thought about that for a minute.  “What would’ve happened if ya’ll hadn’t been there.”  It was a statement, not a question.  She gave it time for the full implications of that sink in.

“You’re not used to having to rely on others.  Not since the divorce.”  I glared at her out of the corner of my eye.  I did not like being psychoanalyzed at the best of times.  This was certainly not one.

“Gee, doc, are ya gonna tell me that I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism, too?”

“If you’re so self-aware, pup, then why did we have to have this little exercise?”  She bumped my shoulder firmly with her own.

“Because you can tell a kid something’s hot, but won’t believe you till they touch it.”  I slumped down further on the bench.

“Head of the class,” she saluted me with her coffee.

“Don’t make me bite you” I grumped.

“Talk like that’ll earn you a spot as teacher’s pet,” she winked.  I groaned and shook my head at the pun before taking a sip of my drink.  It was something fancy, “full of sugar and cream and calories, everything a growing pup needs” as Mickayla had put it when she’d ordered.  Having a dominant around to step in and order was pretty nice when I was intimidated by the menu with its foreign terms and still too rattled to think straight.

“Speaking of petting.”  Mickayla laughed at the segue.  “John said that unmated females belong to the Alpha.”  That whole sentence tasted like rotten lemons, which fanned the embers of my dormant anger.  “Shit, is that the reason unmated females are second class citizens?  So we’re basically whores for the Alpha because we have no other choice?  If I won’t fuck Angus then I’m delivered to Eugene with a pretty bow?  Montana’s, what, a ‘re-education centre’ if I don’t put out?”

“Montana’s for new wolves, those who can’t control their wolf, and those who need to heal,” she said firmly.  “If you don’t want to move here or to Eugene, you can stay in Aspen Creek until you find a place and a pack you do like.  As for being second class citizens, it used to be that females couldn’t participate in dominance challenges and gained status through their mate.  While that seems to be slowly changing, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t be treated with respect.”

“Since I couldn’t care less about kicking butt and taking responsibility, I don’t have to worry about that, which is why I’m considered submissive in the first place,” I said with dawning comprehension.

“See, Ian was wrong, you can be taught!” Mickayla laughed with a wink.

“But what about the other… thing?”

“Wolves are very possessive,” she said slowly, as if having difficulty translating her thoughts into words.  “It’s supposed to be a way to protect the women, sometimes from unwanted attention from their packmates.  Some Alphas may take advantage of what’s meant to be a protective role, in much the same way some college professors tend to go after undergrads.”

“Are there many Alphas like that?”  I had a gut feeling that Angus was not like that, but then again, mama always said that my “picker” when it came to men was broken.

“Rape is not condoned, but since it’s not been a problem here, that’s something you would have to ask Angus, Matt, or Tom about if you’re thinking of going elsewhere.  Here, they have to answer to Angus.  If any of them so much as even make you uncomfortable he’ll have their balls in a sling because you don’t have a mate to protect you.  They all know that Matt would use their skull as a soup bowl if they so much as looked at me funny.”

Her scent had changed subtly with an almost salty quality that had nothing to do with the sea air.  She looked down with amusement at me as I sniffed her arm.  “You’re learning how to smell a lie!  About the soup bowl anyway, you don’t keep evidence lying around.  Good girl,” she said teasingly and petted my hair.  I mock growled without meeting her eyes.  She tapped my nose with a finger.  “Bad pup, no cookie.”  I straightened from my slouch with a laugh.  “Come on, let’s hit a couple of stores that’ll be quieter than tourist trap central.”

“Do I have to?” I asked tiredly.

“Sweetie,” she slung an arm around my shoulders.  “Your pants would be falling off if you didn’t have that belt tightened within an inch of its life.  I think you might have even managed to put a pleat or two in it like that, not a good look.  You need clothes that fit your new body.”  She plucked at my jacket, which tented around me before settling again.  I wasn’t necessarily fat before, but I certainly had carried more than a few extra pounds.  Two weeks in the backcountry had fixed that.  Oh, and becoming a werewolf helped, too.  I groaned in defeat and at the thought of more crowds.

Mickayla returned triumphant from the hunt, seemingly having gained the energy that the new wolf appeared to have lost.  Ellie quickly fled to her room with several large, bulging shopping bags.

“How went the great experiment?” I asked far more calmly than I felt.

“Took it like a champ, boss,” Shane answered while still untying his boots.  “Lasted ninety minutes.”

“I was ready to call it at an hour myself,” muttered Matt.  “Shrieking kids.”  We all winced in empathy.

“I’m thinking that John was doing his best to keep her isolated,” Mickayla frowned.

“Do you think he wanted her for a mate?”  My wolf paced in agitation.  He wanted to taste this John’s blood under our fangs.

“Not The Hills Have Eyes, but barefoot and not-pregnant in the kitchen…”  she grimaced.  I felt my eyes shift to gold then back as I struggled to convince my wolf that there was nothing here for us to rend.  “He told her about unmated females being under the protection of the Alpha, and led her to believe that it’s exploitive in nature,” she continued once I calmed.

“I see, thank you, Mickayla.”  I turned on my heel and retreated to my office to make a call.  Once the door was shut, it was virtually soundproofed against werewolves.  It’s good to be the king of tech.

“I’m afraid that I don’t have any news yet, Angus,” Bran said with faint amusement by way of greeting.

“I’m afraid that I do,” I said and conveyed Mickayla’s impressions of the situation.

“And you can��t question her directly without scaring her into running.”  I could readily picture him pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation.  “Thank you.  Keep me apprised.”