#while i find myself to relate more to vi

[chronicals-of-the-never-happened]

Something was off in the air today. Persephone was terribly mad about something, on edge even. The slightest thing, miniscule a problem, managed to tick her off. Which is out of character, especially around Shirley, who seemed awfully bored.

"Honey, stop interrupting. Deadline's tonight." With as much love she could muster, annoyence drizzled from her honeyed voice.

"Nah."

"What do you mean, Nah? Get off my bed, please. I jist want a hug~" She begged with enough desperstion, that a sane person would have already heed her words without her having to beg. "Come here, now!" She demands, with a slight authoritative edge.

Shirley laid back down, into Persephone's soft sheets, focus back on her phone scrolling away, occasionally sending memes and reels to Persephone's phone and it dinged each time.

Her mind was beyond exhausted, having been so busy that she had forgotten to complete an essay—half way done to be exact—however, knowing her exeptionally great relationship with the professor, Persephone's confident she might get an extra day to finish up.

However, it seems her beloved girlfriend is acting up more than needed.

Glacing over her shoulder, to her blissfully unaware lover, who's scrolling away on whatever, not a care in the world. Especially, not about her beloved girlfriend's needs.

'For fucks sake.' She sighed, walking over.

Glaring down at Shirley with eyes of challange, and perhaps slight anger, she slowly descends onto Ley, caging her onto the bed—Ley's legs were between Perse's—hovering above her with darkened eyes.

Slipping the phone out of her grasp, Perse threw it onto some other part of the bed. Soon her hands snaked around Ley's neck, as Perse left a trail of kisses in her wake. From the forehead, to the tip of her nose, a fat one on both of her reddened cheeks, sly one at the corner of her lips and then finally her neck. Shirley's neck.

Perse smirked, as she watched her lover melt into her palms, as they snaked down Shirley's body, slipping under her shirt and cupping her breasts. Perse enjoyed watching her sweet darling's reactions, sinking in the schocked, appauled face Shirley made—from the contact of Perse's deep freezer level cold ass fucking hands—as those same fingers played with her buds.

Leaning down, Persephone licked her neck, leaving wet kisses, before nibbling at the skin, left hand trailing lower, and lower...

[opbackgrounds]

The Romanticism of One Piece VII: The Sea, and Conclusion

AO3 Part I Part VI

“Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off - then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.” —Herman Melville

There is nothing more Romantic than to yearn for the sea. In his book Image of the Sea: Oceanic Consciousness in the Romantic Century, Howard Isham describes what he calls the “cosmic liquescence” that artists, writers, and musicians so often tapped into during the Romantic era. These were the last days of the sail, the world teetering on the edge between eras. To be alive during this time was to endure change, and the image of a ship being tossed about by the sea was a metaphor for those caught up in the spirit of the age.

Even more than our own, the world of One Piece is one of water. The ocean as metaphor has the benefit of being extremely broad, at times, paradoxically so. With a little bit of effort, the sea can represent basically whatever you want it to. In the real world, it can mean freedom for those who sail it, but with the proliferation of the Atlantic slave trade, Barbary pirates, and young men being press-ganged into service against their will it can just as easily be a symbol of oppression, terror, and slavery. Pirates were known to be somewhat democratic, but sailors stuck serving under cruel and unreasonable captains could be led to a watery death with no say in their fate. The ocean is life, sustaining countless people with its bounty and giving employment to sailors, fishermen, and any and everyone related to those trades. It is also death, cold, impersonal, and certain. 

A ship might be stuck helplessly in the doldrums or ravaged by savage wind and waves. It is adventure and mystery, for no one knows what lies beyond the horizon or what lurks beneath the surface. It is the thing that separates us, but also the means by which we travel, enabling new connections and the exchange of trade, culture, and colonialism. Depending on their purpose for setting sail, ships of this era were one of the few places where people of vastly different national origins, languages, religions and cultures not only lived together in close proximity, but depended on one another for their livelihoods and survival. An excellent example of this in Romantic literature can be found in Moby Dick, where the American point of view character Ishmeal becomes fast friends with the Pacific Islander Queequeg while working on the international whaling crew.

The sea can be feminine, the primordial mother of us all. Aphrodite was born of sea foam; mermaids, sirens, and nereids roam the waters to tempt, seduce, help, or destroy unwitting sailors. Ships are almost always referred to as she. Via the tides, the ocean is connected with the moon, also traditionally feminine. But the sea is also be masculine. Characters such as Old Man of the Sea, Poseidon, Oceanus were all male, as were the winds all ships depended on.

During the time that the Romantics wrote, sea-side vacations were increasingly prescribed as a health cure while sailors themselves suffered from ailments such as scurvy, typhus, and dysentery. Several poets reminisced longingly about their youthful childhoods swimming care-free in the sea. But the ocean is unfathomably ancient and supremely haunted by the souls of countless lives lost beneath its waves. 

In Moby Dick, the titular whale could represent God, the Devil, or Nature itself. To Tennyson, the breaking of the waves represented grief. The journey across the sea in Rime of the Ancient Mariner deals with life and redemption. To Wordsworth, the sea was immortal. To Byron it was freedom. Shelley writes of the West Wind stirring the sea—and thus the dreamer—awake from a deep summer slumber. To quote Keats, “Oh, ye! who have your eyeballs vexed and tired/Feast them upon the wideness of the Sea”.

I could go on, but let’s not belabor the point. In light of this vastness of metaphor, it is fair to say that in One Piece that the sea isn’t representative of one single thing. The New Era is brought in with Whitebeard’s crashing waves during the Marineford War. The terrible power of the Agua Laguna shows the force of Robin’s darkness breaking the Straw Hats apart, while the stormy skies of that time show the turbulence going on within the crew. Sailing brings people of different cultures, societies, and ideas together, and that forced interaction can break down prejudice and foster understanding between different species and cultures, as shown in both the Fishman Island and Skypiean flashbacks.

The Grand Line itself is portrayed as a cogwheel of fate, bringing the strong together in a clash of wills, and the limited navigational tools means that it is difficult, if not impossible to backtrack—you must live your life without regrets, and continue to move forward as you grow stronger as a person and crew. The sea represents the life of a pirate, often cruel, unfair, and dangerous but ultimately liberating. The promise of adventure exists somewhere beyond that unbroken horizon, a place of wonderland and dreams

The World Government may rule over a hundred and seventy allied nations, but no one owns the sea. Thus, as Luffy says at Sabaody, the Pirate King isn’t about conquering anything, but to become the freest man in the world.

I would also be remiss not to mention that the Sea Metaphor of One Piece is incomplete, and will be until the secrets of the Devil Fruit are finally revealed. It is curious that the force that’s presented as the epitome of freedom completely rejects Devil Fruit users, including the one representing liberation. Egghead also added the interesting element of the sea being an existential threat to the entire world, when the destructive power of the sea over land had been previously limited. It would be interesting to revisit this topic after the series has ended to see how Oda resolves these seemingly competing ideas.

But if there is one metaphor I think rules above all else, it is the sea as home, specifically home for the outcast. Robin says during her flashback, even before the Buster Call comes, that she’s studying to become an archeologist in order to go out to sea with her mother. Her home life on Ohara is one of ostracization. Even the archeologists, who love her dearly, don’t let her in on their deepest, darkest secrets. This is for her own safety, but to an eight year old girl who’s been rejected by everyone else on her home island, even her own family, it’s enough for her to seek solace in the promise of the sea. Then, during the Buster Call, Saul promises her that in the vastness of the sea she will find friends, and she will find family, that no one is born to be alone. It’s a sentiment Reiju echoes to Sanji during the Whole Cake Island flashback.

The sea is an escape. Most of the Straw Hats in one way or another have complicated relationships with their places of origin, and for many returning would be difficult if not impossible. Even a character like Nami, who is universally beloved by her hometown, spent eight years thinking that the people of Cocoyashi Village hated her, making her relationship with them relatively fraught while she was a member of Arlong’s crew. During that time the sea, and the treasure she found therein, was her only hope of freedom. The only Straw Hat who ends up staying behind has strong ties anchoring her to someplace other than the Going Merry. It’s not until hundreds of chapters and many real-world years later that an even greater force usurps Vivi from her homeland.

Similarly, fights with the marines and other enemies often end once the Straw Hats hit the open water. The society that tries to squeeze the citizens of the world into a specific shape loses its power over the boundless ocean. This is, of course, a double-edged sword. Water 7, the bandits of chapter 1, and Garp’s blackmail of Dadan show that it also deprives outlaws like Luffy the benefit of society’s protection. But those who refuse to conform to the whims and pressures of the world gain from fleeing to the sea, and what is to dream if not to refuse to conform in one way or another? Every single one of the Straw Hats want something that conventional wisdom says is impossible, but they search anyway, and in doing so find like-minded friends with which to band together. And like how a cord of rope is stronger than its individual fibers, together this found-family has the ability to challenge society and win, finding their own freedom in the process. 

The reason I hone in on the Sea as Home metaphor so strongly over the more general Sea as Freedom metaphor is developed during Luffy’s post-Marineford flashback. It’s here while he’s forcibly befriending Ace that Luffy reveals to him that being alone is the worst pain in the world, worse than being punched all day by a grown man in spiked boxing gloves. It’s after this that he, Ace, and Sabo discuss the freedom of the seas and piracy, and the moment they become brothers. It is this desire for connection, the longing for the outcast to find their place with other outcasts, that drives Luffy to the sea in the first place. It’s there he finds his people, and while he’s not able to navigate, or cook, or do anything remotely useful on a sailing vessel, he’s able to protect the people flying under his flag. It’s a symbiotic relationship between captain and crew, a complete and total interdependence that is required when sailing the treacherous waters of the Grand Line. 

During the Davy Back Fight, Luffy makes a prophetic statement when fighting Foxy that he’s willing to fight to the death for his friends. It’s an idea echoed during his fight with Bleuno on Enies Lobby, when the latter wonders how long Luffy will keep fighting against the combined might of the World Government. It’s the reason why the death of the Merry, the fight against Usopp, and Robin’s supposed betrayal is so devastating both for the reader and the Straw Hat Pirates. The found family that had developed over the course of the manga has ruptured, and they lost the ship with which they’ve called home.

The Water 7 Saga ends with a reconciliation between brothers and their home built anew, this time stronger and more able to weather the stormy waters that wait ahead, the peaceful lamb exchanged for a fearsome lion with a mane as bright as the sun. Nothing has challenged the internal fortitude of the Straw Hat Pirates quite like that saga and nothing ever will again, because both their home and family has been forged into something unbreakable, allowing them to sail the sea, and pursue their freedom, any way they wish.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

”Then stirs the feeling infinite, so felt in solitude, where we are least alone”—Lord Byron

I want to end on this point, because despite all the similarities between the Romantic movement and One Piece, in this we see one great difference. For all that the characters in Moby Dick are forced to depend on one another and the good judgement of their captain to survive, the book ends with everyone except Ishmael dead. Romantic poetry calls for solitary contemplation, and the landscapes of this era diminish the individual in favor of the wide, open spaces of nature. The zeitgeist of the age celebrated the misunderstood, melancholic genius. If One Piece were written during this time, Luffy would never have been the main protagonist. The rise of the Byronic hero would have made sure that honor went to a darker, more brooding character like Law or Ace.

In 1770, a boy of 17 named Thomas Chatterton committed suicide in his small garret apartment. Having grown up fatherless and in poverty, this young genius of a poet was unable to scratch out a living with his writing, and after battling both depression and the pressure of changing his profession, he instead chose to end his own life.

The death of Chatterton sparked a cult following. His life and death would be commemorated in art, plays, and operas, with poets like Wordsworth, Coleridge, Shelly, and Keats all dedicating works to his name. His influence can still be felt today in the trope of the suffering arts that he and countless others helped codify.

One Piece is the story of a boy who rejects the confines of society in search of his own freedom, but he does not do so alone. Luffy is driven as much by the desire to be with his friends as he is by his desire to find the One Piece. The series agrees that risking death is an acceptable part of chasing one's dream, but rejects the notion that it should be sought out or celebrated. In One Piece, it’s better to live an undignified life in the hope of a better tomorrow than to give into an easy death. 

It is ironic that for all that the Romantics emphasized the self, many were friends with one another, Wordsworth and Colridge collaborated in writing Lyrical Ballads. Mary and Percy Shelly were married, and Mary Shelly famously wrote Frankenstein while on a retreat with Lord Byron. The German Romantic movement kickstarted with a group of men who wrote and studied together at the University if Jena, with similar groups later popping up in Berlin and Heidelberg. The American Transcendentalists even formed a club, with Thoreau only able to conduct his two year stint in the woods because the property was owned by Ralph Waldo Emerson, while his mother did his laundry. 

One Piece recognizes that genius is not a solitary venture. Those seeking their freedom cannot and should not do so alone. Existence isn’t a crime, the sea is vast, and your people are out there somewhere.

There are of course other differences. One Piece is written in a post-nuclear, modern world. Among other things, the mysterious, idealized past of the Void Century is not one of primitive nature but hyper-advanced technology, and the progress of man is something to be embraced rather than rejected. 

Yet the biggest difference I keep circling back to is One Piece's unabashed celebration of life. At the end of the day, it’s a story meant to make people laugh. Oda is unafraid of plunging into the depths of despair and tragedy, but he doesn't linger there before pulling the reader back into joy.

LP Hartley once wrote that, “The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there”. One Piece can never be mistaken as a story of the historical Romantic movement. There’s just too much difference between the world of today and the one where these works came.  But I hope that I've shown how it carries some of that legacy into the present day. Intentionally or not, Oda has taken an old idea and used it as a guardrail for the entire series. Like the sun, guiding the dawn of a new era. The dawn of Romance, if you will.

A Romance Dawn. 

[animeyanderelover]

Confession

Hey, everyone. I have something to tell you which has been on my mind since over 4 years now and which I feel like I have to get out of my chest now. I don't want to write for character x male reader anymore. There are lots of reasons and thoughts behind this decision that have accumulated over many years and now I have finally made the decision to stop writing for the x male reader entirely.

The first reason for me is that I was born a woman and that I 100% identify as one. I started this blog mainly because I wanted to write my own fanfics about characters that I love and that is why I started in November 2020 my own blog on this side. However, I wanted to be inclusive which is why I decided to add the option to ask for an x male reader as well. However, I have figured out over the years that I experience less joy writing for requests asking for a male character because deep down this never was what I wanted to write for but I denied those thoughts because I was afraid that people would think that I hate people who identify as men in fanfiction. Part of me also always thought that maybe I would be a hypocrite. I feared to open a pandora box.

After all if I write about a character who is in a happy relationship, married and has a child in canon does that make me a homewrecker? I write about characters who are still teenagers and find myself writing Nsfw about them too so does that make me a pedophile? If I write about a female character x female reader despite the character never having been indicated to have any romantic interest in another woman am I just making everything lesbian to satisfy my own desires? There are women who write about male characters who are gay in canon with a female reader and I admit to having read some of those works too so does that make me homophobic? If I were to write about something like that too because I feel attracted to those characters does that make me a terrible person? Such doubts and worries constantly held me back from getting rid of that option but now I do not have those doubts anymore.

I had a bad start in the anime community by getting involved with some weird fujoshis and their fanart. That has already led me to the decision that I won't write any Nsfw posts with a male character x male reader and with my own consciousness I could never accept to write anything Nsfw related with a female character x male reader. The truth is because I’m an afab writer I could have never inserted myself in a reader with a dick.

Fujoshis and my own preferences are only two reasons though. The last reason for me is because I have had experiences with actual men on this side who pestered me via chat that they wanted me to write for an x male reader and even though I was not comfortable with it they continued anyways. Those experiences are rare but they added to my overall conflict nevertheless. A while ago I had the "pleasure" of being graced with such a person who really wanted me to write about the women of Arcane with a male reader, a phenomenon that I know has been not uncommon in the x reader community of the series on this app. He was awfully entitled and kept whining about the fact that no one seems to be willing to write about the x male reader for characters like Jinx or Vi and that he considers my writing to be good and that I was his last hope. I have blocked him together with the few others who asked the same of him before in that arrogant and pushy way.

None of those three reasons that I have named are the sole reason for that decision, it is more the accumulation of all of those reasons over the last years that have finally led to this post. So here is my final decision:

I won't write for the x male reader anymore.

I am sorry for all those who do not belong to the entitled male reader community and still felt included in my blog but I cannot write about something I do not feel motivated about and feel no joy in writing either. To all those arrogant male readers who my read this and feel insulted, here is my own opinion. Fanfiction is fanfiction. I do not have the right to call you out for writing about male readers with female characters who are gay because I have found myself guilty on the other side by thirsting about male characters who are gay and I might one day find myself writing about them with a female reader as well.

I don't mind shippers either as long as everything is kept within a legal range because if you come up to me and confess to shipping some brainrot vomit like Sebastian x Ciel (Black Butler), Toji x Megumi (Jjk) or All Might x Deku (My Hero Academia) I will not let you anywhere close to me. And yes, those are ships that people actually support and write about!! I personally just don't care about a ship unless the series is a romance but if you just keep it normal with the gay ships I don't care if you ship something like Gojo x Geto or Jayce x Viktor. Just don't be weird and then get all offended and mad when others, including the author of the work (!!!) doesn't ship them.

However, if male readers want fanfics then you just have to build your own fandom community and do it yourself. The fujoshis have done it, the whole x female reader community has done it. You have to do the same. No one of the writers on this app has started in here with any previous experience. I for example didn't write any world-changing book series before I started my blog and I guarantee you, none of the other writers have done that either. Just don't be a fucking whiny bitch about it and get all offended about it with writers who only write x female reader.

Listen, all of us have some weird fantasies here. I myself take even the most sunshine characters and turn them into obsessive freaks who abduct the reader and kill for them. I write for dub-con and non-con which is ultimately just a euphemism for fantasising about a fictional character r*ping me. I fantasise about male characters baby-trapping me sometimes but if any man in real life were to say something to me like I have written fictional characters say to the reader I will scream, bite and get a restraining order. Does that mean that I support everything that I see online? Fuck, no. Let's be real, who does? There are people who are weird and then there are people who are just gross and I usually stay away from those communities because arguing with them will only cost you your sanity because they clearly have none. On Tumblr I usually resort to swiftly blocking such people the moment I read their content and you are free to do the same to me if you don't support my writing.

Heck, I’ve even blocked people who ranted in the tags about Yandere or dub-con/non-con content and claimed that everyone who writes and reads such posts sick in the head because I believe I did them the favor of sparing them to come across my works. Speaking from experience, such people usually don’t avoid but feel the need to insult and lecture so I probably did them a favor by doing what they don’t want to do because they thrive on being on what they view as the morally high ground. The block button is there for a reason and not just for fancy decoration after all.

It's been more than 4 years on this app for me and I have grown as a person in real life and strive to do so as I continue each year which is why I have decided to not be a pure people pleaser anymore and only write what I can accept within my own consciousness and what I want to write about. It's my blog, it's my rules and if I can be proud with what I write and accomplish on here then this is how I should continue. To anyone who has requested something with a male reader and is still waiting for it to be answered, I cannot promise you that I will still answer it so you should be prepared that it's going to be most likely deleted. I am unfortunately not the right blog to write what you want but I hope that you can find one who will fill the role that I can't anymore.

[theautismcorner]

I have bothered my friends about this enough so now I'm posting my ramblings to tumblr so i don't annoy anyone. This is primarily about being disabled.

I love Viktor so much. I love seeing disability rep in media, especially the way they talk about Viktor within arcane. I will phrase this in the most vague way I can - at the end of season two when Jayce talks to Viktor about it I wanted to implode. I would kill for someone to say that to me. I relate to him on an insane level. Starting off with something i find amusing and unrelated to disability - my eyes are actually fairly similar in color to his, specifically when I’m outside/in natural light. One of my friends called them dark honey one time which i think is really cute. Now onto the disability part - I am physically disabled (I have hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome) and often walk with a limp due to pain and have to use braces a lot. While I am dealing with my flare ups reading fics from Viktors pov is really therapeutic because they make me feel like I am not alone in my pain. They help to distract me from the pain too. Something within the fics--the ones that have his pain as a central element--that i love is how much the other characters (namely jayce) care about him and just see him. People who aren't disabled probably don't know how hard it is to ask for the help you need it during flares for fear of being a burden or being weak. When people just offer help, even with small things like getting a blanket or making a cup of tea, it truly means the world. I have been in a flare for three days and have been virtually on my own with it because I don't live with people i like much or even care to know that well and cant really physically leave once the flare is active. I have been living off of crackers, cheese, and cereal because I cant make myself food which sucks. I am lucky i had put my mini fridge next to my bed so i don't have to walk to get ice packs or cheese. I just read Viktor fics (jayvik to be more specific because season two is ouchy) and listen to the same song on loop for hours (the song is Fantastic - Cait and Vis song) just wishing I had someone to care for me like what I am reading. I read one where Jayce makes Viktor his favorite soup and brings it to him and that's exactly what i wish I had right now. I love living vicariously through the fics but god would it be nice to have this stuff irl. Anyways, my legs feel like they are being pulled apart, one muscle/tendon/bone at a time, so I am going to keep reading fics until I have to hobble to a friendsgiving. If y'all have any fic recs please let me know.

[stormyoceans]

MONICA'S INCREDIBLY BIASED TOP 5 GL SHOWS OF 2024

1. the loyal pin. a period piece QL with a (believable) happy ending and a fairytale-like quality to it that was able to charm me from the very first episode. while the pace of the story can definitely be slow at times, i was personally just too absorbed in the world that this show created to mind it. the display of traditions, customs, and food from thai culture, along with the beautiful cinematography and the colorful cast of characters, all helped to achieve this fully immersive experience, giving the perfect frame for anin and pin’s romance. becky as anin was also a revelation.

2. ayaka-chan wa hiroko-senpai ni koishiteru. I ADORE THIS LITTLE SHOW WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL. i admit that, as a bisexual woman myself, i found the bisexual erasure pretty maddening at first, however i am willing to forgive it in the face of how bright, lively, sweet, and at the same time deep and full of emotion this series is. it’s an age difference office romance that actually addresses the generational gap between the leads by exploring how society’s view on queerness changed throughout the years, and it does so by being funny, delicate, and unapologetically lesbian.

3. reverse 4 you. this is where my bias comes through, because while this show is far from perfect, i have the biggest soft spot for it. in general i tend to really enjoy stories that feature any kind of time related powers, but compared to others the true strength of this series is the familial bond between wa and vi, which shines as much (if not more) than the romantic relationship between wa and four. i do feel like the story needed at least one more episode to wrap up the loose ends more neatly, as some things kinda left me baffled and pretty confused, but my love for this little family of three makes me willing to overlook everything else.

4. pluto. if my meter of judgement to make this list had only consisted in chemistry and performance, then this show would have definitely landed in the first three spots, as namtan and film are incredible in it (the bridge scene in episode 11 is one of the most memorable of the year for me), however some of the plot points don’t sit quite right with me, and the execution of others was a bit lacking, so i unfortunately had to detract a few points. still, i enjoyed the show a lot: it presented a unique story in an interesting way, there was never a dull moment, and not once i skipped the intro because the OST is just amazing.

5. the secret of us. this show being so low in the list doesn't sit quite right with me, but at the same time it doesn't have the originality or the effectiveness in storytelling that other ones have. what it has, however, are ling and orm showcasing fantastic chemistry and very natural acting, which elevated a plot that im not usually particularly fond of (exes meeting again years later) and gave a lot of personality to their characters. the happy ending also feels earned, and some of the side characters are very memorable.

+ honorable mention (because once again, im a cheater)

23.5. i wanted to do a quick shout-out to this show because i feel like the fandom tends to give it a way harsher judgement than it deserves. while the second half did have a few things that bothered me, i still find this show a very accurate representation of teenage emotions, and the way it depicts young queer love healed the part of me that didn't have this kind of series growing up. all in all, it brought me a lot of comfort, and im incredibly grateful for that.

[meazalykov]

redirection VI

esmee brugts x reader

last chapter: redirection V

next chapter: redirection VII

after the day at the beach, we had the day off from any football related activity. i woke up late at 9am, took my kittens to the vet, went grocery shopping, jogged for a while in the nice weather, then watched a few of my favorite shows that i wasn’t able to keep up with due to my schedule.

the next day before practice– i woke up late. everyone was already on the pitch, waiting for jona to arrive, as I walked outside of the hallway doors. 

as I stepped onto the field, i smiled at some of the girls who waved at me to come over to them. it was good to be back at practice with my team after a day off. breaks are needed though, which is why i feel better this morning. 

“welcome, y/n! welcome! sit down.” lucy pats a spot on the grass next to her. i smiled as i moved to sit next to her, with mapi on my right. my eyebrows showed the confusion i tried to hide on my face, why is lucy so excited for me to sit? 

“soooooo— how was your date!!!?” mapi smiled as she wrapped her tatted arms around my shoulders. my jaw dropped as i displayed a look of shock. 

ever since esmee and i had gone to the beach together, i figured that most of the girls wouldn’t know about it. oh boy– i was wrong. 

“salma!” i say as the spanish girl hides her face behind vicky’s back. she was the only one i told about the beach day with esmee. 

ingrid, mapi, bruna, salma, vicky, ona, and lucy wasted no time in playfully ribbing me about my "date" with esmee, and i couldn't help but blush.

“it wasn’t a date, we both just wanted to go to the beach!” i put my hands up in defense after ona made a suspicious joke. 

“mentirosa!” (liar) salma laughs. 

"salma, seriously?" I muttered under my breath, wondering how she managed to spread the news so quickly.

“cheer up and don’t worry y/n, you aren’t the only ones whos getting teased about it!” vicky smirks as she points over to a group twenty feet away. i saw esmee cover her face in her hands as aitana, jana, lucia, aria, keira, frido, and cata laugh about something. 

“we find it very cute. you both look more radiant today.” ingrid pats her hands on my leg as i smile at her compliment. she was right. ever since that moment between esmee and i in my car– i couldn’t help but feel optimistic about a potential future with her. 

“as you do everyday.” i say back in ingrid.

“true!” mapi agrees with me. 

“this is what– the twentieth couple at barcelona?” vicky jokes. 

“says you! we all know about that crush you have on your classmate from the academy!” salma nudges vicky, who blushes at the thought of her crush. 

“aweee” i say, crossing my legs and observing vicky’s actions. 

“aweee you! we aren’t forgetting about you and esmee. what did you guys do?” vicky asks. i look up at the blue sky for a second before spilling– some– of the details. 

“we went to the beach for a couple of hours. we tanned then went to eat. before that she came to my apartment and met my new kittens and–” 

“SHE WENT TO YOUR APARTMENT?” ona says as she stands up in shock, ignoring everything else i said. 

lucy laughs and tells her to sit back down as i put my head in my hands. 

“not like that you dirty mind! i needed to grab my beach stuff since we went to the beach after the recovery training!!” i defended myself. 

mapi laughs and squeezes my shoulders, since her arms were still around me this entire time. 

“you got new kittens? we wanna meet them!” mapi says— nodding her head at ingrid too– i can tell that this is her attempt at relieving some of the teasing that i am receiving. 

“you guys can come over anytime as long as i am home! i adopted two kittens.” 

“you should name one culer and the other barca” bruna speaks up. 

“i already named them berry and macadamia, after some of my favorite treats!” 

“aweee” 

i smiled at bruna before i seen aitana walk up to our group. 

“come on, coach is here!” she says. she looks around the group before seeing me, smirking immediately as she patted on my back to walk with her to the middle of the pitch. 

during practice, i found myself gravitating towards esmee– even though we didn’t speak on the pitch this morning. we texted each other our usual goodmorning texts which made me content. 

when we needed partners for our next drills, esmee jogged up to me and held my arm gently– signaling that i am her partner. 

we decided to pair up for drills, and as we worked together, i couldn't stop smiling. being close to her and the rest of the team gave me the joy that i haven’t felt in a long time beforehand. 

the barcelona media team happened to capture a moment where esmee & i were hugging after winning a small 2v2 scrimmage against caroline and lucy. the picture showed genuine happiness on both our faces. her arms wrapped around my waist as my head was leaning on hers. 

they posted it to instagram– but i wouldn’t see it until later. 

hours later, I finished preparing the wet kitten food for my kittens. berry tried to climb on my leg, while maca waited patiently, before I put their food bowls down and they ran to devour their food.

the same second I placed the bowls down, I heard my phone ring on the kitchen counter.

"(sister)"

my phone displayed my sister's name and contact picture. I clicked the green button immediately since she hasn't called me in a while.

"hello?" I say.

"heyyy y/n, how are you?" my sister asks, I walk over to sit on my living room couch as I wanted to focus on the conversation with my sister.

"I'm doing good, how about you!?"

"I'm good! I just wanted to call because I miss you!" my sister says. I can hear the sad undertone in her voice as I looked over at my kittens, who are still eating their dinner.

"I miss you too! you know you can come here whenever you want, I have an extra room here."

'I know, but spain is so far away from texas." my sister says.

my sister currently goes to college in texas, where she plays basketball. she's a d1 player who hopes to get into the wnba draft soon.

"that's true, and I'm positive you can't take time out of your schedule to see me." I frown.

"I'm sorry."

"don't apologize, we know how our careers work." I say.

I hear my sister sigh, and a few seconds go by before she changed the topic.

"I see that you're doing great in barcelona though, I am happy for you my goat!"

"hahah shut up!"

"no seriously, two goals so far in your first game with one of the best clubs in the world? you're crazy!" my sister rants.

sometimes I can't believe it too. months ago I was sobbing over not feeling good enough, and now I have the opportunities to prove myself wrong.

"I just wanted to impress my coach and the team."

"and you did that well--- on instagram it looks like you're fitting right in with them." my sister says.

my eyebrows knit together in confusion, I've just posted myself with the team a few times. not enough for my sister to say something like that without a detailed meaning.

"what do you mean?"

"I started to follow the femeni page a week ago, and they posted a picture of you and a girl earlier. esmee I think her name is? you looked so happy and I'm glad you're making friends." my sister says.

my heart flutters at her statement. I haven't checked instagram all evening so I'm not sure what "photo" she is talking about.

"yeah-- you're right--her name is esmee." my voice spoke softly, a shift from the excited tone earlier.

"y/n?" my sister says.

"yes?" I respond.

"what's wrong?" my sister noticed the shift in my voice.

"nothing!" I say as i look outside the windows to my balcony, making a mental note to water my plants after the phone call.

"is esmee your friend?" my sister asks.

"yes, of course!" I say.

"I feel like you're lying."

"because I am.." I confess.

"huh?"

"esmee is a girl I've-- I've um.." I swallow, not knowing how to describe esmee to my sister.

"ESMEE IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND???" my sister yells excitedly.

"oh no no no! but what if I wanted her to be?" I ask.

my sister currently has been in a relationship with her girlfriend for about five years, so I trust her with relationship advice.

"then she is your crush." my sister says.

we are on a regular call, but I can tell she's smirking.

not long after that, my sister had to end the call because her basketball coach called her. my heart beat in my chest as she is the first person I've fully confessed my crush on esmee to.

she teased me for the first few minutes but stopped when she heard the discomfort in my voice. luckily, she has hope for me.

surprisingly, I have hope for myself too.

(imagine you're ingrid engen below. imagine that this is a picture from the training session mentioned above, and not from a game, lol)

fcbfemeni

liked by y/n.l/n, esmeebrugts, and 48,518 others

fcbfemeni What a duo 🔥

comments

fcbfann89 I love to see the newbies get along

wosonews oh! 👀

y/nbiggestfan this linkup on the pitch, training or not, should be illegal

random5738 🙌🙌

~view all 3,916 comments~

next chapter: redirection VII

<3

[tooningin]

Tw: Suicide mention on paragraph 5

while I don’t mind the idea of Jinx becoming a revolutionary (Preferably in tandem with Sevika and Ekko rather than in place of), it was incredibly rushed. Jinx blew up the council for her own reasons, not her city’s, and there is no believable or logical in-narrative reason for her now suddenly caring about Zaun’s freedom. Not to mention how it’s just thrown out the window post ep 4. And oh yeah, Sevika. Where the fuck was she after that episode? I liked the dynamic they and Isha had going on. How come she got over being ko’d and tied to a chair by Jinx so quickly?

And as heartwarming as it was seeing Jinx and Isha bond, and the former finally find a (sadly temporary) sense of peace, I hated how Isha was nothing more than a magical key to all of Jinx’s problems and insecurities. Isha’s like a Melog, if you will. We have Jinx and Catra, 2 characters with severe trauma, but then cutie comes and oh look the mentally unstable characters are a-okay now 😀. I don’t mind them being a part of these characters’ arcs, but please let them be individual characters.

So ep 6 comes around and the plot Devi- I mean, Isha and Warwick (What was the point of bringing him back?), and Jinx is back to square one. Like almost completely. Having this occur in the series finale was a poor writing choice in my opinion. There’s not enough time to get her back into the swing of things in a believable manner.

Ekko then conveniently forgets about the firelights, his people, who Jinx spent years slaughtering and introduces this idea of it being never too late to build something new. Which like, okay, that could work. But it’s ruined by 2 factors: The meaning of the quote in the context of the story and the ending of Jinx.

Arcane has completely forgotten about its socioeconomic related conflicts and themes of oppression in favor of mind boggling slop with pretty visuals, where the resolution is Jayce singing the “I love you” song to the Council (This line was way funnier in my head). Thus “Building something new” is not helping to make a better future for Zaunites, not rectifying everything she’s done (Arcane season 2 cares far more about Jinx killing the enforcers than it does about her killing firelights. That’s bonkers), but by HELPING PILTOVER

To top it all off, Jinx sacrifices herself. The fact that she, alongside Jayce and Viktor, are all canonically suicidal, are the ones to sacrifice themselves is… quite a choice. The choicest choice to have ever choiced indeed, especially the decision to use THE SAME MUSIC USED DURING THE SCENE WHERE SHE WAS TRYING TO BLOW HERSELF UP

Plus she’s probably alive anyway, as evidenced by Cait looking at the sewer maps and smiling (Since when were these 2 on good terms?), the blimp, and the end credits being in a scribbly art style SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HER SACRIFICING HERSELF-

(Not to mention how OOC it is of Jinx to NOT tell Vi “I’m not actually dead I’m gonna go find myself now byeeeeee”.)-

“Oh you just lack media literacy!, Arcane is a tragedy, What did you expect?!”

I expected substance.

[quibbs126]

Okay the Earthspark megop Terran kid has wormed his way back into my brain once more, at least today. He may be gone yet again by tomorrow

Not much has changed other than I really don’t know what to make his alt mode, and I still don’t have a name for him

Could someone help me on this maybe please? I don’t really know who to ask outside of tumblr itself

Well I mean, I guess my real life friend, but I don’t know when I’ll be meeting her next, so the question still stands

But I do have at least a couple more details in my brain for him now. Like for example, I’m like 99% sure he’s gonna stay a boy

One, I think I’ve solidified that he’s at least slightly bigger than Megatron and Optimus, if not a little more than that (I know the Terrans are supposed to be smaller than the Cybertronians, but let me have this. Say it’s because either the fact that both of them touched it or because they’re big and have things like the Matrix it makes the Terran bigger than usual. Or because they’re huge Cybertronians)

So with that in mind, I imagine he needs a pretty big alt mode. Granted, I don’t know how big, since this series doesn’t entirely adhere to robot sizes matching the vehicle mode. Like Megatron’s a big aircraft while Optimus is a semi truck, which is also big for a car but I don’t think is nearly the same size, and yet the two are relatively the same height in robot form. But regardless, a big alt mode would probably be best

Also I do want it to be a vehicle (in part bc I don’t know what to do otherwise though)

Another thing, more specific, is I’m imagining him with big gauntlets on his arms, sort of like Vi from League of Legends (she was kind of the inspiration for this idea). They’re part of his body, not removable armor, though he might be able to detach them like rocket arms in a fight. He can probably also shoot lasers out of them too. So his arms should probably be something significant in his alt mode, or his alt mode gives him a reason why his arms would be like that in some way

Actually, I think that’s all the new details I have, at least in so much that they help this quest for an alt mode for this character

I guess I could give personality things as well? But I don’t have much fleshed out, in part because I feel like I keep ending up recreating Jawbreaker or someone too similar. Best I have so far is that he’s energetic and optimistic, but he also does not know his own strength, and he is very powerful, so he ends up doing damage when he doesn’t mean to. It’s something Megatron and Optimus are trying to work with him on. Though this all might still change anyways because I still don’t know if it works. It still might be too similar to another character

Edit: oh wait, other small things because they might be useful too. So I’m keeping this idea he has an odd fixiation with the earth/underground. Mostly because something in my head finds this “he yearns for the mines” concept to be funny and it will not let it go. Anyways, so he likes punching rocks and cliffs and such, maybe because they’re things that don’t instantly crumble under his punch. He may end up creating intricate tunnel systems because he likes punching the earth. And/or he’s got a slight weird sixth sense for things underground and the places he punches might end up leading to somewhere useful. But maybe not always, sometimes it is just punching a random cliff side. I don’t know, it’s a bit odd and random, but I do want to keep in some way this underground/earth related element to his character. Though maybe that’s too limiting in his design choices

I still need to find a name too. I should probably try to at least make that myself. But like another thing with the Terrans is that their names seem to be more Earth things (though that’s not entirely untrue of Cybertronians either), and I don’t know what to do with that angle. I keep making more robot sounding ones, or ones I’m pretty sure another character already has

[chiyeko-kurea]

one of my favorite poems + my analysis

i wanted to share it with you guys:)

(VERY poorly translated, sadly never as good as the original)

« Je vis, je meurs » Louise Labé, Sonnets, 1555

« I live, I die: I drown and I burn,

I endure at once extreme heat and cold;

Life is at once too soft and too hard,

I feel boredom mingled with joys.

At the same time, I laugh and I cry,

And I endure many torments of pleasures,

My fortune fades away, and lasts forever,

At the same time, I wither and I Bloom.

Thus I suffer love’s inconstancies

And when I believe I will suffer more,

Without knowing, I find myself at peace.

Then, when I feel my joy is certain,

And I am on top of what I could wish right now,

Love casts me back into my former grief. »

.

So there’s a few things i would translate differently.

1) I would write « I drown and burn » without the other « I » because in the original poem, the idea conveyed is really that the feeling of drowning constantly is parallel to the one of burning, happening in the same time in the author’s mind while being completely opposite.

The idea of drowning constantly (that I personally really relate to) = therefore maybe also feeling like suffocating/ choking constantly, not being able to breathe and a constant weigh inside the chest.

+ sinking further and further until one day reaching rock bottom -> the idea of giving up on ourselves?

Or you could also interpret the word ‘drowning’ as fighting to stay above water, to gasp for air, being between sanity and trying to stay there because if you give up you will drown into insanity and darkness that is trying to pull you in. With that interpretation you also get the idea of tiredness and eventually having to give up if you know you’re doomed to drown anyway, but you can’t stop trying to survive.

But i think in this case ‘drown’ is more that achingly slow, constant, oppressive feeling of slowly sinking opposed to the complete chaos of burning fire and being actively consumed alive/ having a fire inside ur mind.

2) Second verse is also poorly translated. It would be more like ‘i burn while enduring chilblain’ which is completely different from the original verse but closer in terms of meaning, to me. Same idea of opposite feelings, i think everyone interprets differently.

3) 3rd verse IS JUST SHIT!! WHAT IS THAT TRANSLATION?? It’s so lameeeee! Ugh. The idea that i felt in the OP (original poem) was like ‘Life is to me too listless/ limp/ (=basically ‘soft’ but in a pejorative way. Life is boring, tasteless, nothing worth much, nothing that excites her mind.) Also she says ‘TO ME’. To her. Her life, not life in general. Basically, how life is to her, « towards » her. But at the same time, life is too hard to her (not « for » her!) to the point it’s like torture.

4) The next verse is kind of a résumé of her whole fucking life. That i would translate as ‘i have great ennuis intertwined with joys’. « Ennuis » could be, indeed, translated as ‘boredom’, (the way i understood it) but also as ‘problems’/‘worries’. Basically either a long, dull, boring, worthless road with sometimes great joys/ or if you got for the different meaning of ‘ennuis’: lots of terrible problems and disasters in your life but sometimes also great joys, both mingled.

5) « love’s inconsistencies » -> Love is written in the OP with a capital letter. I don’t really think it’s necessarily romantic love, but love in general: what you experience, live, feel, discover, which is basically essential to life. Imagine a life where you don’t love any type of music, book, movie, food, weather, people, feeling, taste, smell… But primarily, I think she means that Love (as an entity rather than a simple feeling) kinda throws her around; and she is a ‘victim’ of it, she suffers from it and its intensity, unpredictability, force. She is condemned, as a human, to be a subject/ slave of love. She is not, and never will be, in control of that -and therefore her life.

6) The two last verses are so poorly translated it should be a crime. The idea behind them is really interesting!

« And I am on top of what I could wish right now » -> when she has everything she could wish for, she has obtained and achieved everything she ever dreamed off, longed for, ached for, when she has reached what is the ultimate completion of her desires that would grant her happiness; and finally everything that bothered her and kept her from tasting a freedom and peace of the soul is gone; when there’s nothing more she could possibly need or even wish for; she doesn’t. Feel. Happy. Anymore. She loses it. She feels the same as she used to before. It’s a never-ending cycle. She thinks she finally has it all, but it all crumbles, again and again and she can never keep it. She can taste it for a bit, but then it vanishes and she is right back in her ‘primary misery’.

She feels joy, she feels happy, she thinks it’s gonna last forever: it never does. For me, it really convey the idea of relapse. You get clean, you feel great, life is good, but then, how could you even think it was gonna last anyway? You relapse, fall right back in your misery.

I haven’t analyzed (corrected) the 2nd quatrain and the first tercet because this post is already very long (so i just corrected the most important ones)

and i don’t wanna bore you😭 but if you like poetry we could discuss it together if you want🫶

[callsign-rogueone]

Hi!

Question for you since I’ve been thinking about this and you were the first person I thought I’d ask.

Have we ever seen any of the Tyrrish kids actually speak their language?

I don’t think so cause I feel like it would probably be Xaden to Violet (maybe whispering sweet nothings to her?) and I would have definitely remembered that.

And…..now I really want to see our fourth wing rebellion boys talking in Tyrrish. (Especially to their girlfriends)

Okay last question/theory that’s pretty unlikely

Can Brennan speak Tyrrish?

I mean maybe the rebellion kids spoke it in Aretia?

and he picked up on it cause he was away for six years?

I don’t think so but…..maybe?

…Fine

I do have one more thing to say (last one I promise….for now)

I read the new aaric and sunny part!

Amazing!

I really loved the fact that you depicted her as someone who came from nothing vs cam being born in the lap of luxury, that’s going to be interesting.

we also got another perspective on the riders’ quadrant

As in it’s a way for sunny to make her life better and she sees it as that versus like say violet, who just saw it as a death sentence.

That made more sense in my head…..

anyway!

those are my very long thoughts…heh

Sending love (for some reason my heart emoji isn’t working so just imagine a heart here),

A (yes I’m the same one from yesterday)

hi lovie!! welcome back!

it’s confirmed that Xaden (177) and Brennan (345) speak it! so by extension I’m sure Bodhi does too, and most likely Garrick and Liam, etc etc.

I think they might not specify when they’re speaking in Tyrrish because it’s Violet’s thoughts / pov so she understands it and writes it all down in the same language (I believe that we’re basically reading her diary. when they go out into the woods with infantry and a scribe, she talks about the scribe notes being accurate down to exact quotes and conversations, and Vi has scribe training.)

I also can’t find it but I swear there’s a line somewhere that’s like “the assembly resume arguing in Tyrrish”. but that may have been from a fic I read/wrote. I tend to mix them up sometimes since it’s been ~6mo since I read both books.

as soon as I found out Bren speaks it, I was like… I’m giving you a Tyrrish wife that you’re going to rizz up by speaking to in a “dead language” (see “allies”). so a lot of his dialogue with Duchess is italicized, implying it’s in Tyrrish. you’ll get some “Tyrrish” words here and there as Dain picks some up for Love (👀) but I’ll translate those in the conversation, bc I’m not gonna make y’all copy-paste things into Google lol

and thank you!! I wanted to make Sunny his complete opposite in some way. I’m from a lower-income community in the states and a lot of kids here join the military to get out and start a stable life, so I took inspiration from that. I considered it myself, but I didn’t meet their health requirements. I’ve been falling apart at the seams for a while now. that’s one of the reasons I like Vi so much, because I relate to her being breakable 😅

love ya!! 💖

[vivacissimx]

On Lyanna's crypt statue

Having many Winterfell crypts thoughts of late, but did want to theorize about the possible unintended results of the break-in-procedure that Ned committed when he had statues made for his siblings Brandon & Lyanna:

"And there's my grandfather, Lord Rickard, who was beheaded by Mad King Aerys. His daughter Lyanna and his son Brandon are in the tombs beside him. Not me, another Brandon, my father's brother. They're not supposed to have statues, that's only for the lords and the kings, but my father loved them so much he had them done." [AGOT, Bran VII]

Yes, bittersweet, however also wanted to touch on this in the face of Winterfell being partially a necropolis (the crypts are larger than the entire castle!), and how Lyanna having this effigy relates to her presence through the books. We actually meet Lyanna through that very crypt statue (Ned leads Robert down to pay respects) and the gravesite symbolizes a final rejection of Robert when he says he would have buried her on a hill, outside, beneath a fruit tree and the sun only for Ned to remind him that she wanted to "rest beside Brandon and Father." Immediately, she's an active presence. During this visit, Ned feels that the dead are watching & even speaking to him. He sees the empty grave where he will be buried. He acknowledges that this is "his place."

This is the last time Ned visits the crypts before his death. Aside, I think that's interesting because while Ned's physical remains are a point of contention it's implied that Maester Luwin commissions a statue of him prior to dying, so we can assume that even if his tomb is forever empty, Ned Stark will still have a place in the crypts. That does connect to the point I'm making, that the crypts of Winterfell are less important as a gravesite than as a living site of memory.

Bran and Rickon live in the crypts during Winterfell's occupation & we know they interact with the Rickard/Brandon/Lyanna area because they take Brandon's sword (it's absence later noted by Barbrey). This is also when Bran communicates with Jon beyond the Wall:

He could reach Summer whenever he wanted, and once he had even touched Ghost and talked to Jon. Though maybe he had only dreamed that. [ACOK Bran VII]

-

[Jon as Ghost during a wolf dream] sniffed at the bark, smelled wolf and tree and boy, but behind that there were other scents, the rich brown smell of warm earth and the hard grey smell of stone and something else, something terrible. Death, he knew. He was smelling death. He cringed back, his hair bristling, and bared his fangs. Don't be afraid, I like it in the dark. No one can see you, but you can see them. But first you have to open your eyes. See? Like this. And the tree reached down and touched him. [ACOK Jon VII]

How did Bran do that? This is a conscious dreamsharing sequence we don't see again in the series. I dunno if it has anything to do with Lyanna at all but we know the dead are always watching, that they're present in the connection between Jon & Bran, and more importantly, that Winterfell's dead have been in Jon's dream before. As he recounts to Sam, he has a recurring nightmare about the crypts:

I find myself in front of the door to the crypts. It's black inside, and I can see the steps spiraling down. Somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to. I'm afraid of what might be waiting for me. The old Kings of Winter are down there, sitting on their thrones with stone wolves at their feet and iron swords across their laps, but it's not them I'm afraid of. I scream that I'm not a Stark, that this isn't my place, but it's no good, I have to go anyway, so I start down, feeling the walls as I descend, with no torch to light the way. [AGOT Jon VI]

-

He dreamt he was back in Winterfell, limping past the stone kings on their thrones. Their grey granite eyes turned to follow him as he passed, and their grey granite fingers tightened on the hilts of the rusted swords upon their laps. You are no Stark, he could hear them mutter, in heavy granite voices. There is no place for you here. Go away. [...] Up above he heard drums. They are feasting in the Great Hall, but I am not welcome there. I am no Stark, and this is not my place. His crutch slipped and he fell to his knees. The crypts were growing darker. A light has gone out somewhere. "Ygritte?" he whispered. "Forgive me. Please." But it was only a direwolf, grey and ghastly, spotted with blood, his golden eyes shining sadly through the dark [ASOS Jon VIII]

The Lyanna connection to all this is clear. There's something in the crypts waiting for him but it's not the Kings of Winter—that narrows it down a bit then!

Ned wasn't supposed to give Lyanna a statue, but she asked to be buried there, and he did, and now Jon has dreams of something reaching out to him. Bran possibly hitches onto this line to speak to Jon. Before Ned died, he also dreamed of Lyanna's statue reaching out to him:

He was walking through the crypts beneath Winterfell, as he had walked a thousand times before. The Kings of Winter watched him pass with eyes of ice, and the direwolves at their feet turned their great stone heads and snarled. Last of all, he came to the tomb where his father slept, with Brandon and Lyanna beside him. "Promise me, Ned," Lyanna's statue whispered. [AGOT Ned XIII]

Staying on Jon's crypt dreams however, I've talked about this somewhere before but ACOK Theon shares Jon's ASOS crypt dream, albeit from a different angle. Jon is in the crypts but Theon is at the feast upstairs. As in life, Jon is not welcome at Robert's welcoming feast, while Theon technically is. Both of their dreams end with Grey Wind appearing.

But there were others with faces he had never known in life, faces he had seen only in stone. The slim, sad girl who wore a crown of pale blue roses and a white gown spattered with gore could only be Lyanna. Her brother Brandon stood beside her, and their father Lord Rickard just behind. Along the walls figures half-seen moved through the shadows, pale shades with long grim faces. The sight of them sent fear shivering through Theon sharp as a knife. And then the tall doors opened with a crash, and a freezing gale blew down the hall, and Robb came walking out of the night. Grey Wind stalked beside, eyes burning, and man and wolf alike bled from half a hundred savage wounds. [ACOK Theon V]

And who is present in Theon's dream? Lyanna. The face he's only ever seen in stone. Because she has a statue in Winterfell's crypts.

Which brings us to three people who've specifically had Lyanna's crypt statue haunt their dreams. That statue which is an anomaly and shouldn't exist. It makes me wonder. Wonder if Ned didn't do a little something there.

[a-rumbly-in-my-tumbly]

It's been a while since I have done a pinned and a few things have changed, so hello 2025!

First of all, yes, I am the Kiku who did all the Janne da Arc and Acid Black Cherry translations (oh my god) about 20 years ago. So if you come from that part of my life, hello and thank you.

Tumblr is a fandom place so here's the rundown:

My main fandom probably is Nu:Carnival, my favorites are Yakumo and Rei.

Setzer Gabbiani from Final Fantasy VI has been my inspiration (yes I sang the 80s song in my head while writing that) since the game came out in 1994. Yes, I am that old, and my love never dies. The thinking-for-a-second-a-fanart-of-Alucard-is-my-man struggle is real.

I'm finally getting into danmei novels but it's mostly for my own enjoyment so I doubt I will Discourse about what I am reading. I'm too old for that shit. I am and always have been an avid reader, so if you're interested in that I just started a Storygraph! I'm really interested in trying their buddy read system (trying to book club the traditional way when all your friends are in different time zones isn't easy), so find me over at mistressofroses if you'd like!

mistressofroses is also my bluesky for the interested/curious. Just say hello first if we're mutuals, I'm a lot more selective about who I follow back there for the sake of my peace.

It's still very difficult to describe myself to be honest! I'm just your local soft-hearted mom friend who's just keeping it cozy and lowkey because let's be honest, we're exposed to the cruel world constantly and relentlessly, I don't need to be doing exposure therapy on my own time. (Though I'm still training myself out of the compulsion to Comment where my voice probably isn't needed, so I may slip from time to time.)

If I wanted to be extremely flattering to myself I relate a lot to Sister Mary Robert from Sister Act:

My whole life, I felt like everyone was getting or doing things a second faster or better than me...but I just feel like there's something inside me that I want to give. Something that's ONLY me and NOBODY else... does that sound like a bad thing? Like pride?

[careful-wish]

It is fully valid that ppl think Jinx doesn't want or need a relationship, she's ace, anything that ppl want

but I wanna talk about in regards to her BPD. Jinx strongly displays having BPD, and one thing about the disorder is yes, we have difficulty building and maintaining all sorts of relationships, but Jinx' attachments to Silco and Vi that border on horrific and harmful when they aren't around to stop her is so, so relatable. She relies on them for EVERYTHING. Vi makes a little more sense as older sister and only surviving family member, but there is a reason Jinx and Silco is meant to be uncomfortable.

For many ppl with BPD, myself included, developing an unhealthy attachment to someone VERY fast is really common. It is painful to rely on our happiness and any validation from that person and that person alone. It is not something a lot of us want. It is frightening, realizing someone has so much power over emotions and thoughts, and a lot of the time, unless we tell them, those ppl never figure out they are such a person. They are the Favorite Person. Vi not so much, MAYBE Ekko depending on which point in time, but I really related to Jinx' relationship with Silco in that even though he was a father figure, he was her FP. She relied on his approval and validation, and he knew that. He let her do small things to help (like the thing with his eye) so Jinx could do something and feel like she was contributing in some way. Though she chose Vi over Silco, losing an FP is devastating. In some ways, I even saw Isha as an FP to Jinx, which is why she gave up so much after Isha died. Not just blaming herself and going destructive/self-destructive after losing Silco, Jinx gave up on EVERYTHING. She intended to end her own life so Cait could stop the search for her, Vi would stop protecting her, and she could end it all.

Jinx also experiences debilitating hallucinations of those she's lost, and she knows she's at fault that they're gone (Mylo, Claggor, Silco). She physically hurts herself, punching herself and digging into her own nails, when she feels lost and abandoned. She acts non-chalant a lot of the time, refusing to connect and just 'dealing with it on her own', bc so many ppl with BPD do that. I've been doing it for years. I don't experience visual hallucinations like Jinx does, but I've read a lot about ppl who do relate and they have BPD.

Jinx struggles with her identity. Powder or Jinx. Many ppl with BPD struggle with their identity, their sense of self, or feel like they lack one altogether. She lashes out when she's afraid of losing someone - her hatred of Caitlin for 'taking away Vi'. Jinx has so much Shimmer injected into her body and while I don't remember if she indulges after, addiction is common in BPD. Finding an escape, a way to ignore or take away the pain, that basically happened to Jinx with the Shimmr. In the process, she did have hallucinations (I have had them in alcohol-induced pyschosis.)

This is just my observation of Jinx, her BPD, and what I have learnt from being in mental institutions and being educated on BPD. It's a tough illness to manage, but I do hope Jinx escaped and she does find help or at least peace.

And I do see Ekko as someone she can actually build a proper, healthy relationship with, whether platonic or romantic.

[alfietalksaboutcomics]

NYX #1 Explores Life After Krakoa

Hey! It's been awhile since I posted but I'm still around! Late July I did a reivew for Graphic Policy on NYX #1. I posted the link but I'm also going to try something new and post the text of the review here on Tumblr! I also would just like to add that as of this posting the series has gone up to issue #3 and so far it's my favorite book in the From the Ashes relaunch! Anyhow with all that said I'll leave you with the review!

How do you cope with the loss of paradise? This is the question at the heart of the From the Ashes relaunch of X-Men, and no title so far exemplifies that question more than NYX. The mutant island nation of Krakoa is no more and its diaspora is left to pick up the pieces. And like so many of the world’s diasporas, many Krakoans find their new home in New York City, holding onto what community they have left.

This first issue of NYX is told largely through the perspective of Ms. Marvel. She is an interesting character to hinge the first issue on seeing as she never quite got to experience the promise of Krakoa and is still exploring her newfound mutant identity. Writers Jackson Lanzing and Collin Kelly pick up the thread of Kamala attending college courses in NYC that was established in her last run of solos. The school that once was receiving funding from an anti-mutant hate group now is host to a ethnic studies course on Krakoa and its diaspora, taught by Xavier’s own Prodigy, now going by Professor Alleyne. Kamala is attending this course alongside her new friend and Prodigy’s former classmate at Xavier’s, Sophie of the Stepford Cuckoos. Other Xavier’s alumni like Anole and Laura Kinney the Wolverine also make appearances in the  comic, as a bartender and vigilante respectively. Seeing Kamala bounce off between these characters is fun and interesting. Alongside these more positive budding relationships Kamala runs into several threats in this issue, one being a anti-mutant group called the “Truthseekers” and another being the mysterious self proclaimed Krakoan dressed in a mix of Magneto and Professor X’s Krakoan costumes, who may or may not have a connection to members of the books cast that should provide for some interesting drama. 

This book should be a particular treat for fans of the Academy X run of comics, that subsect of the X-Men fandom have long been asking for a book that centers around characters from that series and NYX seems like the answer to their prayers. 

I find myself in a curious position vis à vis this book. I myself am a twenty-something queer New Yorker college student. The characters in this book are largely teenager to twenty-something allegorically (and in some cases literally) queer New Yorker college students who are members of a diaspora. This is a setup that is quite similar to my own life. Thus I feel a certain draw to this book that’s subject matter so closely relates to my lived experience. I will admit to getting a kick out of seeing the imfamous Highline sculpture, the Vessel in the issue. I eagerly anticipate seeing more NYC landmarks throughout the following issues. The characters feel pretty authentic to my lived experience, Lanzing and Kelly pretty solidly land the voice of my generation. 

The art by Francesco Mortarino feels like a step up from his work on Avengers, the first page in particular is quite stunning, partly due to Raul Angulo’s quite excellent colors. The characters look appropriately youthful and the rendering of NYC is well done. I’d compare Mortarino’s faces to Luciano Vecchio’s work, but while it’s similar in the angler nature of the faces it’s still suitably different and it’s own thing. In general the issue doesn’t have so much visual spectacle but the art team makes it a compelling visual treat. 

Overall NYX #1 isn’t the most flashy of first issues but it’s laying down a lot of interesting tracks, the characters aren’t really a team yet but honestly I think that’s not exactly what the book is going for. NYX seems to be telling a story about a group of young mutants finding their place in a world post the fall of their homeland, and it does a pretty damn compelling job doing it. This is definitely a book to keep an eye on.

Story: Jackson Lanzing, Collin Kelly Art: Francesco Mortarino Color: Raul Angulo Letterer: Joe Sabino Story: 8.5 Art: 7.5 Overall: 8.0 Recommendation: Read 

[gelatomesomeironqrow]

I'm not sure if I already made a blog post about characters I believe to be part of the Asexual/Aromantic spectrum community but I'm bored and AO3 is down and I have a headache so I can't even attempt to write any of my fanfictions like I want to so here we go.

Starting off with my baby.

Ikkaku Madarame. I personally headcanon this wonderful man to be Demisexual. I would say he is aromantic but honestly I feel like a man who writes poetry. Yes, he writes poetry, and makes accessories for children, has a romantic side.

In the anime he has not once expressed interest in anyone, be it the most attractive woman or man, and yet... he is so in tune with Yumichika that he can recognize his laughter from across a battlefield while in the midst of a fight. So, yes, he is demi for Yumichika. The only one who he fully trusts and respects, such is the ways of a Demisexual.

Moving on from this wonderful specimen of a man... we enter the world of dreams.

Yes. Dream of the Endless. The man of everyone's dreams and nightmares. The dude is so much of a Demisexual that it took thousands of years for him to even admit to himself that Hodge is his friend, let alone the potential of a future love interest. Yes. I know he has had romantic relationships in the past, and that he had a kid with a gorgeous woman. Demis still have sex. He trusted her enough that he came to her aid to save her. He just wants intimacy with someone but it takes him forever to trust and let someone in.

Also, the dude has canonically turned into a black cat. Cats don't trust as easily as dogs.

Anyways. Moving on to a character that is canonically AroAce.

Isaac Henderson and this other kid that I don't know if we ever got a name from.

I, too, would prefer books over being in a relationship but alas... with my personal health issues, I need someone to be somewhat intimate with.

Now... I have watched many, many shows and movies and I try to find myself in so many of them. I know. Weird. Trying to find relation in entertainment to better enjoy something. I can still watch and read things if I don't have someone like myself in there. Anyways...

Going into the world of MDZS.

Nie Huaisang.

This man is 100% an Asexual who thrives on finding queer platonic friendships.

Also. The guy has hyperfixations in birds, fans, art, and getting revenge for his older brother's murder.

I love him. I can relate with hyperfixating, I cannot relate in the art of revenge. His level of dedication is unmatched.

Moving on.

Arcane is something I'm currently obsessing over so... let's dive into the world of headcanons since everyone has a million and no one knows for sure what is Canon.

Viktor. My man. The Jesus of Hextech.

It took getting rid of his emotions to realize that Jayce was the only one he ever wanted but it was too late. Such a doomed situationship. Anyways. I think of him as an asexual who valued companionship and wanted that intimacy. Again. With Jayce. The himbo who didn't realize what he lost until he lost it twice.

Hot take... and I could be completely wrong... but Jinx, herself.

I think if it came down to it. She would have sex but she hates physical intimacy. To the point where the only ones she willingly ever approached for human contact were Vi, Isha, Vander and Silco. Her found family that she had no romantic or sexual feelings for. I know alot of people ship her and Ekko. I can see it. But the girl is traumatized and has so many mental health problems. Maybe more of a Gray ace/Aego spectrum?

Speaking of. Let's talk about Silco.

I think he would be Asexual. Similar to Jinx if I'm being honest. He would be open to that level of intimacy, with the right people. But he has never had that kind of connection with anyone besides, possibly Vander. But... that situationship ended in tragedy and bitter feelings so... yep. Welcome to the Ace community, my love.

Ignoring that and moving on...

RWBY.

Miss Ruby herself.

Honestly. She needs that level of connection and trust before she would even consider that form of intimacy. If she ever thought about it. Which. I don't think she does.

Ending with my main girl... Neopolitan, would be a Demiromantic Ace. She has romantic feelings for Torchwick. But that's it. Girl really chose to become one with a mystical tree so she could finally move on from him.

There are plenty of more. Penny Polendina from RWBY. Castiel from Supernatural. The only one confirmed on this list is Isaac but, I mean. Come on. Look at all these neurodivergent, lovely people and tell me otherwise.

[skyfallscotland]

Hiiii, i'm new to your tumblr and ff! SO i have a question that you've probably already answered: I guess Remi is a "fix-it" situation with Violet? What was your problem with Vi in FW/ IF that made you want to change her?

Hi! Welcome! 👋🏼

I actually don’t know if I have before, maybe everyone just assumes haha but you’re right it was.

I feel like the beginning of F&F gives the impression I don’t like Violet. In some ways because we know Remi it feels like a pile on, on the poor girl, but I actually do like her. I just feel like it’s an accurate representation of how a young girl would have responded to Remi’s implied behaviour for years while she struggled with her mental health.

My main issue with FW in general is an unpopular one, I usually avoid speaking about it because people abuse me, but as someone with multiple chronic illnesses I felt unrepresented through her lens and because social media hyped me up and I went in hoping for the best disability rep ever, I left a little disappointed that I didn’t get that, so I decided to write something for people like me.

We are all different and have different experiences, that’s why fanfic is so great because we can live the original text in different ways.

I could never have done the things Violet does and I think the “push through” and you’ll succeed narrative is quite dangerous. For people with ME at least, it’s proven to make things worse and it also doubles down on a bad stereotype. My experience IRL is people always assuming I’m just not trying and that I could overcome my illnesses so I have personal medical trauma related to that. Media like this can sometimes perpetuate that myth, so that’s something I struggle with personally.

Vi sort of has symptoms that make it convenient for her to push through with something to “overcome” and not others that would stop her in her tracks. That IS some people’s experience of disability and I’m so happy for them that they were represented.

But Violet never crashes, never has a day where her limbs shake and she can’t move, never has a day where she passes out or her body throws up everything she tries to eat and she never feels incredibly down about herself and her condition, which is wild to me.

A lot of people will say like “she has no choice, she’d die otherwise, she just has to get on with it and she does” which is a lovely sentiment but I don’t get to decide whether my heart will pump blood to my brain or not, sometimes it just doesn’t and I’m out 🙃 (side note: there was definitely implied POTS at the start, where did it go? Did she find a treatment because I want it, please! 😂)

I feel like I have to make it really clear (to everyone reading this, not you in particular) that I think RY wrote a fantastic novel and I love it. I usually get attacked for saying anything along these lines so to be super plain, I get that it represented one person’s experience and not everyone’s because that’s impossible to do, and if it represented you I LOVE that for you, I thoroughly enjoyed the book, but I needed to write something more on the level with my experience for myself and I just hoped it resonated with some people (and obviously it did). I wasn’t even going to post it at first.

Being chronically ill is hard. FW & IF brought me so much joy and I love that we got some disability rep, I just wish it went a step further, so I did it myself. 🖤