#while esme means beloved

[shalomniscient]

girl (gn) help i’m having more arlecchino dad thoughts……..

cw. selfship coded + mentions of childbirth and blood, pregnancy utc

after her daughter is born arle takes straight up two months of paternity leave to care for both wife (you) and her child. her position, which she still nonetheless holds, is temporarily filled by lyney as a sort of trial run to see how well he takes to his duty as arle’s successor. he’s nervous but determined to succeed and prove his worth (also arle said if he does a good job he gets to be the first to meet his new baby sister, so)

meanwhile arle is doting on you 24/7. anything you want, you get—as long as it’s overall healthy for you and the baby ofc. she’s so so tender with you, her nails always filed down for now so she doesn’t accidentally scratch you or the baby. she’s gentle as she helps you sit up, your pelvis still immensely sore from bringing your daughter into the world. she makes sure you eat well, having the best chefs the fatui can offer stationed within her manor to make you only the most nutritious but also good tasting food. she’ll also make sure you get enough rest—if the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, she’ll be the one to get up and soothe her back to sleep, assuming it’s not a hungry cry. arle gets so in tune with her daughter that within just a few days she can tell which cries indicate what. arle makes it impossible for you to doubt how grateful she is for the incredible gift you’ve given her in the form of her child.

speaking of, as soon as arle saw her baby she was a total goner. she was barely a few minutes old, still covered in blood and viscera but arle is already utterly wrapped around her tiny finger. yet despite her confidence in handling children, she hesitates for a moment when offered to hold her newborn. she’s not often insecure about her hands, but right now, there’s nothing she’s more afraid of than accidentally hurting her baby girl. it takes a lot of convincing from you before arle finally takes the little bundle into her arms, and once she does god does she not wanna let go. especially when she opens her little eyes and looks right into arle’s, and instinctually presses closer against her father’s chest, utterly unafraid of arle’s eyes, which have made grown men fall to their knees in fear.

gdgdhskksksjsj……. i need her so bad………….

[hitsuzenhusbands]

hey! i hope you're having a good day! i just read your (amazing!) asoue fic "ashes to ashes," and i was fascinated by the way you portrayed kit and olaf. i thought i'd send this ask because i'd really love to hear more of your thoughts on their dynamic if you feel like sharing? but if you don't feel like expanding on it, i totally understand! thank you so much for sharing your beautiful work on ao3!

OHH anon you are so kind...i apologize for being so extremely late but i just finished writing a little analysis so i figured now's about the right time to write a semi-legible response. might have been scary and incomprehensible otherwise. but i am finally here to scream and cry and thank you so desperately because im SO happy you enjoyed them AND decided to ask for more info! <3

to begin, i'd be absolutely inconsolable if i didn't point you towards @virginian-wolfsnake's fic the eye of the storm, probably one of my fave k&o fics of all time that delves into the meat of their relationship through the years from the perspective of kit. they're young and still excited by missions and flirty and tender and genuine, and, in time, when the rest of their world collapses, so do they--messy and tense and so wonderfully realistic you have to read it and then read it again. honestly, if you don't want to read the rest of this but still want an answer, just read that. but also read it anyway

and now i have to ask you to forgive me...i have not read the books in a very long time and while i know the netflix series (in comparison) is bad and awful and terrible, i have watched it a million times. so if i'm wrong on anything. that's why.

to begin, the version of olaf i depicted in my fic is at the height of his...how do you say...pathetic misery. not including the spiral he has during the series. to me, the death of his parents are the beginning of his downfall into something-like-insanity, but he's still (and will continue to be) recognizably himself, if that makes sense. he's always been messy and emotional and dramatic (see the line: "...Kit has seen him in worse states and with a much better view..."), but only now does he reveal not a different side of himself per se, but a different angle of one that already existed.

im a fervent believer that olaf's always been a little self destructive and a lot crazy. hes spent the greater half of his life coming to terms with the fact that he is intrinsically not as noble as the rest of vfd--hes impulsive and obnoxious and self-obsessed, barely even literate at times--and it takes a special kind of guy to carve the insignia of the organization full of people he despises into his own front door. still, his parents' death was a catalyst, meaning he wasn't entirely opposed to vfd beforehand. he probably liked the missions and the secrecy and the dramatics, obviously the disguises and everything, but i think before the night at the opera it was really just a source of fun for him. he never truly grasped the reality of it, the nature of his actions and the weight of his involvement. whether that was out of naivety or pure neglect of the facts is up for debate. (there's a little bit of this in the shattering of thalia and melpomene if that interests you at all, beloved anon. see the line: "...[Esme] could never compare to the extent to which [Olaf] removes himself from everyone else entirely. How he spends so much time worrying about himself he almost forgets to worry about himself...Esme could never truly get lost in her own greatness. Could never turn a blind eye to the inner workings of V.F.D.")

kit, on the other hand, definitely did. serving as a volunteer was her purpose, the sole thing she had to cling to. she dedicated her life to it, making conscious decisions to go against her moral code in the hope that it all truly was for a greater good. i think, at times, she could fall into her own little fits of self-destruction, putting vfd above herself entirely (see the line: "This wouldn’t be the first time she’d done something she would never truly volunteer for...he’d still spent year after year watching her run off...to do something she could never speak of." "...she still returned with clenched teeth and knit eyebrows, as though she had no choice in the matter at all.")

to avoid any more convolution, in my mind it goes something like this: both are volunteers--olaf born and raised (along with beatrice), kit torn from her family and thrust into the thick of it so early on its all she knows. they grow up, probably-definitely know each other but dont know each other until, say, late teens-early twenties?

up until then, they've been everything previously described, but intermingling with one another changes this. olaf's easygoing approach rubs off on kit, partly because she finds more joy in his company than in missions, partly because he makes every attempt to keep her from leaving. i like to think she tries to keep his relatively flimsy moral code in check, or at the very least restrain his temper to the best of her abilities.

to me, they're a simultaneously great and terrible couple. at their best, they counteract each other in a positive way as described above and serve as a welcome distraction from the realities of a crumbling vfd, a little island of tenderness and domesticity in the ocean of turmoil that surrounds them.

and at their worst, their personalities combat so violently it's hard to see how they ever could have been together. olaf deals out the worst of it, prone to neglect and self-isolation, a deeply inset refusal to discuss anything with her, an inclination towards firestarting and an increasingly poor reputation with everyone kit knows. then again, kit isn't free of blame (if you can call it that), she's just as opposed to talking anything out as he is, and her isolation takes on the shape of running off to do as many missions as as she can before she's dead on her feet. she's pulled in different directions--a well-instilled hatred towards firestarers, only further influenced by whatever rumours olaf's growing list of enemies supplies her, versus her love for him, her knowledge of who he really is, a concept that is often tested. (see the line: "He’s reminded of a fight they once had, about something or other, that ended in her angry admission that it was easier to be upset with him when he wasn’t nearby.") 

anyway, the idea is they grow further and further apart both ideologically and physically/relationship-wise until the opera night and the crash following that (see: the whole fic!) and from then on i think they fall into something like an evil situationship. they barely see each other, complete opposite sides of the schism. i say situationship because i think when they do see each other (on missions, at events/in public, in private, etc.) it is just a terrible experience no matter what. they're both torn between hating the other for what they know about them/what they did (i like to think olaf finds out about kit supplying the darts) and reminiscing/yearning for what they once had.

for the sake of this i wont give my thoughts on whose baby kit has because that's a whole other thing (not really. its just more of a fun hc i think about on occasion as opposed to something concrete in canon or even my version of canon) but their scene in the end does make me insane. its a culmination of all the time spent wishing what happened didnt happen, almost as though theyre seeing each other for the first time once again, perhaps not blind to the past but looking away for (on olafs part) one final moment of normalcy.

i hope thats what you were looking for to any degree, anon. im a little rusty on my lore but they matter to me soo much. if i have to leave this on anything, its go read eye of the storm. kitlaf fic of all time.

[allthewriteplaces]

A Magnolia In May ~ Chapter Twenty-Two

Author's Note: It's been a while since I've posted anything about our beloved Shelby clan, but hopefully this funny filler chapter will make up for the absence. Also, there won't be a chapter next week because I'm going on a trip to a cottage with the family!! Chapter Summary: There might be a new addition to the Shelby family in the coming months.

Chapter Warnings: None, just overall chaos.

Word Count: 2369

Chapter Twenty-Two

Minutes turned into hours and before we knew it, it was past nine o’clock, past some of the kids’ bedtimes. It was arranged that for tonight, everyone could stay here and then leave in the morning, since even in an area as safe as this, it wasn’t ideal to go travelling at night. 

It was evident the kids wouldn’t be going to sleep anytime soon, what with all the excitement that was going on, therefore, Arthur proposed that the best and most reasonable approach to this little dilemma was to let them all stay up as late as they wanted to in hopes that they’d eventually tire themselves out. The only rule that was set, was that they play nicely and quietly. 

Most of the time was spent catching up with one another. 

Lizzie did end up announcing that she was seeing someone else, much to everyone’s surprise and delight, including Thomas’ and from what she told us, he seemed like a good and honest man and Polly insisted on meeting him immediately, to which Lizzie jokingly responded that she doesn’t want to scare him away. In a more serious tone, she added, 

“That’s also why I don’t want him to meet Ruby and Charlie yet. It’s not that I don’t think he’ll love them. I have mentioned them multiple times in conversation, but the last thing I want to do is confuse them. You know, they already have a dad, and adding a new person to the mix, they might not know what to call them.” 

“When John and I married,” Esme said, “his kids just called me Esme. I didn’t ask them to call me ‘mum’ until they were ready to do so, even though he kept insisting that they do. I knew it wasn’t easy for them, losing their mother, so I didn’t want to rush them. Sure, our situations are different, but you get what I mean.” 

“I do,” Lizzie answered. 

I sat there a minute, minding my own business, but then I turned to her. 

“You know, I thought the same thing when Thomas and I first got together; the children already have a mother --” I gestured to her “-- and the last thing I want is to take that away  from you and make you feel like you’re being replaced.” 

“Hardly,” she said with a laugh. “Perhaps if you were Miss Carleton or Tatiana, I wouldn’t have gone down so easily. I would have done whatever it took to keep my children as far away from your influence as possible, but you’re different from them, I would be a fool not to see it. You’re not just with Tommy because of his status or to stay off his bad side, you love him. With every fibre of your being.” 

“I do,” I answered with a nod. 

“You’re as much a Shelby now as the rest of us,” said Arthur. 

“Speaking of Miss Carleton, we do have a meeting on Friday,” Thomas put in. 

“Goodie,” Lizzie groaned sarcastically, which made him laugh. “And who’s we?” 

“I don’t mean it literally, I mean as in myself,” he corrected himself. 

“Well then, why didn’t you just say I have a meeting?” she countered. 

“You know what I meant,” he said, rolling his eyes and sipping his whiskey. 

“This is what you have to look forward to,” said Polly, shaking her head and gesturing to Thomas and Lizzie as they bickered, much like children would and I had to purse my lips together to keep from smiling. 

“What on Earth is there to talk about anyway? I thought you quit betting on horses after the last time. You said it went horribly and the horse ended up--” 

“One, he was already sick,” he answered, his voice deepening with controlled irritation at Lizzie having brought up a sore spot in Thomas’ past. “Two, she is here to see one of our horses in the stables. She hasn’t been herself these past few weeks and since she has owned horses before, she might be able to determine what’s wrong with her and if not, I will phone a doctor to come and check on her.” 

“Her?” Aunt Eliza raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes,” he answered. “Grace’s Secret is a girl horse.” 

“Hmm…” she nodded. 

We all noticed how she trailed off and Thomas tilted his head to one side. 

“Hmm?” I asked, repeating her response. 

“You don’t think she could be…” she continued slowly. 

“Could be what?” he asked. 

She hesitated. “Is there a chance she could be pregnant?” 

Thomas’ glass nearly slipped from his hand and landed on the floor, shattering into a million pieces and staining the ground with the alcohol inside of it. 

I thought back to when I’d gone to clean out the stables while the children were in the schoolroom and I’d seen her and another horse together and it looked to me that things had gotten very intimate. 

I mentioned it to Thomas later on that day as I washed and dried the dishes but we didn’t think much of it, considering there was little chance it would happen. Now all of her symptoms made sense: She’d been grazing a lot more these past couple of weeks and she tired more easily, she kept looking at her abdomen and holding her tail up. 

“It happened once with our mare. We thought she’d gotten into some bad grass and was sick, but no, our stablehand told us she was expecting. Albert and I were shocked. We had no idea how to care for a pregnant horse, but he was with us every step of the way, showed us what to do and when the foal arrived, she was a happy, healthy little thing.” 

“I remember that,” I said, “You both woke us up just before the sun came up and we saw it all happen. Alice cried because she thought it was gross, seeing all the blood.” 

She laughed. “Poor thing. She wouldn’t come out of her room for hours.” 

Ada smiled. “At least we don’t have to do it standing up.” 

“True,” said Lizzie, “I thought I was going to pass out having Ruby, and I was laying down in a comfortable bed the whole time.” 

“Try having twins,” said Eliza, “Sure, I had some time in between to rest, but still, it took a lot of energy out of me.” 

“They still do,” I laughed, to which she had to laugh as well. 

“They do,” she nodded, “but it’s worth every minute I get to spend with them.” 

Uncle Albert put his arm around her and held her close. 

“Cheers, Tommy,” said Ada, “You’re going to be a grandfather.” 

“I’m not sure that’s how it works,” Esme replied. 

“Sure it is, he raised her, and now she’s having a child.” 

“True, but he’s a human,” said Linda, “she’s a horse, in order for her to be his child, he would have to be a horse as well, and so would Ruby and Charlie and so would all of us and not to mention, Jessie and Tommy wouldn’t be able to--” 

“Great, Now you put the image of us with horse bodies in my head!” 

“You’re welcome,” Linda grinned. 

“I was being sarcastic.” 

“Well, so was I.” 

“Really, I didn’t notice.” 

“I don’t want to picture it, either,” said Lizzie, rubbing her temples. 

“No one asked for your opinion, Nancy,” Linda snapped. 

“It’s Lizzie and you know it!” she said, pointing at her. 

“Wouldn’t our top half be human and bottom half be horse?” said Ada. 

“It’s still uncanny,” said Lizzie. 

“I don’t have a single clue what’s going on anymore,” Ben said, confused. 

Aberama looked around awkwardly as the ladies continued to argue, fixing his hat to give himself something to do.  “I stopped listening after food was mentioned.” 

“No one said anything about food,”  said Arthur. 

“Exactly.” 

Thomas. cleared his throat, clearly not finding a single part of this discussion amusing even though the rest of us were trying hard not to laugh too loudly as to rouse suspicion. “I’m going to need more whiskey for this conversation.” 

“Make it a double!” Ben called as he walked away. 

For once, Thomas Shelby, who always had an answer to everything, who would outlive the Good Lord, Himself trying to have the last word, was rendered speechless. 

I watched him get off the couch and go into the cellar to retrieve another bottle. 

“Who knew something like that would rattle him,” Arthur observed. 

“I’ve seen him get pretty worked up over things like this,” said Polly, “he just needs some time to calm down, get his head on straight, then he’ll know what to do.” 

He came back and then sat down next to me, looking calmer, but still dazed by the shock of the news that was just dropped at his feet. 

“Tommy, a pregnant horse is not the end of the world,” she continued once he’d taken a drink from his new glass of whiskey. “Call a doctor, have him come take a look at her and then from there we can figure out what to do. There’s no sense worrying about it until we know for sure.” 

Thomas considered his aunt’s words. I wasn’t surprised that she was once again the voice of reason in the family, the one to pull them back when they got a little rowdy, then he set his glass down on the table and nodded. 

“You’re right, Pol,” he said softly. “I just worry about her, you know? She’s been with the family since Charlie was a baby and it’s the only part of Grace I have left.” 

Everyone was quiet and Polly leaned forward. 

“That’s not exactly true,” she began. “You still have memories of when the two of you were together, don’t you? Sure, not all of them may have been pleasant, but no matter how bad things got, the love was always there. And you two shared some very happy moments, like the first time you took her dancing, and your wedding day, and the birth of your son.” 

She paused for a moment and said in a much lower, more reassuring voice,

“No one can take those happy memories away from you.” 

He met her gaze and I thought for one second, his eyes gleamed with tears. It made me want to reach out and comfort him, to put an arm around his shoulder, to hold him and tell him it was all going to be alright. 

But I didn’t. I could tell this was one of those moments where he didn’t necessarily want physical affection, and he said later on that my silent presence was more than enough to keep him grounded. 

He seemed to be thinking about something for a long while, but he came back down to Earth a few seconds later and smiled one of those rare Thomas Shelby smiles before saying, “Why’re there so many sad faces here, eh? This is a party. We should be celebrating.” 

“Actually,” said Esme, standing up, her long, stunning curls falling in front of her face as she did so. “I think I’ll be heading off to bed. We have a long journey ahead of us and if I’m going to survive the drive in the carriage with the kids, I’m going to need all the sleep I can get.” 

She went upstairs and I didn’t miss the wink she threw my way. 

I wondered what she meant by it, but I didn’t have much time to ponder it because Aberama and Polly also rose from their places, stating that they, too, were going to be heading back home right after breakfast. 

“Make sure this one gets some sleep,” she told me while looking at Thomas, who tilted his head to one side innocently. 

“I will,” I reassured her. 

“Good girl,” she answered and the three of them went upstairs. 

The rest of us stayed down for a little while longer. It was almost midnight by the time we all went to bed. Even by midnight, the children were all asleep, including my cousins, who had been known to stay up past their bedtime when there was just too much excitement. 

For tonight, I elected to stay in my own room so as not to rouse suspicion and to not tempt Thomas into staying up late. 

“But it’s my birthday,” he protested, his voice whiny like a child. 

“No buts, Mister Shelby. I promised your aunt I would make sure you get some rest, and you can make those puppy dog eyes at me all you want, it’s not going to work.” 

“How do you know it won’t work?” 

“Because I have cared for more than enough children to know how this whole thing works and I can be quite strict when it comes to following the rules of the household, yours included.” 

“I can’t sleep without you, though,” he pleaded. 

It was clear he would try every trick in the book to make me give in, but while his tactics were well thought out and carefully planned, so were mine. 

Still, we could compromise, that was something that worked in the children’s and their parents’ favours in the past, and maybe it would work for us as well. 

“Fine. If you promise to go right to sleep, no funny business, I will stay in your room with you.” 

He pretended to think it over, tapping his finger against his chin. 

“Very well,” he said after a few seconds. “No funny business.” 

“Good,” I said and then after I changed into my nightgown, I went down the hallway and went into his room, closing the door softly behind me.  

He was grinning like he’d just won a gambling match by the time I slid into the bed next to him. I playfully rolled my eyes and turned onto my side facing away from him. His arm wrapped around my middle to hold me in one spot, he kissed my shoulder and my neck once. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. “This was the best birthday I’ve had.” 

I smiled to myself, snuggling up closer to him. 

Then shortly afterwards, I heard him snore softly.

To Be Continued. Taglist: @cillmequick @zablife @sherbitdibdab @runnning-outof-time @izabesworld

[dreamofmysoul-tsc]

Things I loved about Chain of Thorns:

the peace each character feels at the end, how secure they are in themselves and their relationships

the Westminster Abbey battle (specifically James stabbing himself w Cortana, the gasp I gusped omg)

Alastair calling Thomas beautiful (multiple times 😌)

ARI 👏🏻 BRIDGESTOCK 👏🏻 MY BELOVED!!

Matthew slowly realizing he is deserving of happiness + his excitement to travel the world and see all its beauty :)

The portrayal of alcohol withdrawal and how tactfully Cassie handled addiction all throughout this series. My dad has been an alcoholic my whole life and I really can’t express enough how grateful I feel towards this series for portraying addiction in all its harsh realities while also making sure that readers understand addiction almost always stems from shame and self hatred. The kindness and gentleness expressed to Matthew and the sorrow, regret, and anger towards Elias are feelings I understand all too well. I’m rambling at this point but basically, thank you Cassie for portraying alcoholics as more than just deadbeats. Thank you for giving them dignity and humanity and thank you thank you thank you for portraying an addict that is not “fixed” by their love interest or their friends and family, but heals because they want too and because they genuinely believe they deserve it. I can’t explain how much that means to me.

Grace. Was pleasantly surprised by her character arc

JAMES HERONDALE MY BELOVED, IF JAMES HERONDALE HAS 1000 FANS I AM ONE OF THEM, IF JAMES HERONDALE HAS 1 FAN, ITS ME, IF JAMES HERONDALE HAS 0 FANS, I AM DEAD

Every scene with Lilith is always so fun but so terrifying

Alastair calling Thomas “my Thomas” no one speak to me

Belial basically being smote down by God at the end???? Is there a god in this universe?? Will we see him in TWP? Final battle between Heaven and Hell??? Omg

so is Cassie implying that Esme Hardcastle’s family tree she’s working on is the one from CP2? And the reason why it’s so fucked is because she was just making stuff up?? Because if so, that’s hysterical

James pointing his pistol at Lilith and going “try me.” Bitch, the way I just about fainted

JAMES HEALING MATTHEW IN EDOM W IRATZES BASICALLY THROUGH FORCE OF WILL AND SUCCEEDING, LIKE WHAT KIND OF BLACKSTAIRS SHIT IS THIS-

Manifesting a short story collection of Matthew on his voyage

Things I really did not like about Chain of Thorns:

How quick Christopher’s death was and how no one seemed to really feel effected by it?? Like we didn’t even see his parents grieving?? At first I boiled it down to, well, they’re in the heat of battle and Prince of Hell BS so they probably don’t really have time to grieve but even after all that ended, we just kinda…glossed over it? The most sentimental moment we got was Grace hearing his ghost and even then, it seemed mostly for plot

Matthew and James not having their own little moment in the epilogue but that may just be me because honestly I could read a whole book of James and Matthew’s little moments and be completely happy

Lack of Magnus. Also the lack of Magnus walking in on a couple making out. What kinda finale is it without Magnus walking in on a couple in a compromising position??

I love series traditions and I was a bit sad we didn’t get a wedding in the epilogue

As much as I love seeing everyone happy and at peace at the end, it felt so out of place compared to the other series’ epilogues. No foreshadowing to other series aside from Malcolm, no hints for TWP, no hints of what’s to come. I suppose the Coda sort of did that but I don’t know if the Belial we see in the Coda is talking about Jem’s interaction w him in GotSM or if it relates to TWP as well?? Idk, I just felt there were things to be desired

The lack of “Lucie? Lucie, is that you?” or “Cordelia? Cordelia, is that you?” (I know they weren’t parabatai until the next year but still)

I truly adore TLH, but one thing that has always felt disjointed to me is how…domestic? it all seems at first? Like, the actual battles and high stakes moments only happen within the last like 200 pages while the rest of it seems mostly roaming around and talking about feelings/being emotionally constipated (don’t get me wrong, I love both those things but I also love the action)

I wish Cassie would take more risks sometimes. Like as heartbreaking Livvy’s death was in LoS, that was one of the first times I remember thinking “wow, I genuinely don’t know if any of these characters are gonna be ok by the end of this” I’m hoping with TWP, I can also have some of that doubt back, because I like feeling like I don’t 100% know if a character is gonna survive this, you know? The fact that only one person died, a character that (to me) always seemed used as mostly a plot device, was a bit disappointing

Overall, I adore this series. I adore this cast and I honestly can’t believe it’s over ;-; I can’t wait for TWP, as much as I know that goodbye will I hurt even worse 😭

[trantrumsfromthevoid]

Twilight Advent ‘22

Day 5 (12.5.22) - “What's one thing Esme loves about each member of her family?”

I think Edward will always be the closest thing Esme will ever have to a son (even though in the beginning I think their cover was that they were siblings ... if I’m remembering correctly). I think she’ll always see him as such. She probably loves his whole ... idk, sensitivity. I honestly don’t think Edward is very sensitive and more brooding teenager. But I think Esme tends to overlook that and simply sees Edward for all the potential he could have had and tries to bring that out in him in a motherly, nurturing way.

I firmly believe Esme and Rosalie have a unique relationship (see my Day One post) and I think Esme really admires Rosalie. Rosalie is also much more fiery and independent than Esme was/is and I think Esme really admires that. Rosalie doesn’t just sit there and “take it.” When Rosalie has a differing opinion, she’ll tell you; whether you like it or not. Which, honestly, I think Esme feels like as the “mother” of the group she also has to be the peacemaker and can’t really take sides (even though she definitely does - a la NM and the whole “Breaking Dawn” plot). But I really think that Esme loves Rosalie’s personality and the fact that she’ll stand up for her beliefs and do what’s best for her family. Something, I feel like, Esme tries to do but feels a little restricted by her role of “matriarch.”

I mean, who doesn’t love Emmett? I’ll bet you even sourpuss Marcus likes him. Where Edward will always be Esme’s “son”, I think Emmett will always be Esme’s fun-loving, free-spirited “little brother.” I think Emmett simply has a peace and an unencumbered-ness (is that a word?) to him that naturally draws people to him and Esme’s no exception. Whenever she needs a laugh or just a distraction, she goes to Emmett. A headcanon I have for them is whenever there’s too much tension in the house, or there’s yet another traumatic event in the news, she and Emmett go for a pointless drive. They blast music and sing at the top of their lungs at like four in the morning. All Esme has to do is casually ask Emmett, “Hey ... you wanna go for a drive?” and they’re off.

Alice is honestly such a mystery to me, lol. I feel like, for at least awhile, Esme didn’t really know how to relate to Alice or Jasper. Because they were both independent of the Cullens for a few years and it’s not like Jasper ever really needs a “hug from mom” - or Alice for that matter. I feel like, while Esme both loves them dearly, it did take a little while for her to warm up to the two of them. I mean, hell, you’ve got these two people who randomly show up at your house and they’re like, “I’m taking Edward’s room, ok byeeeee.” I feel like Esme was just kinda like “What the hell???” for a while. But anyway, I think now she loves Alice’s quirkiness and her frivolity. I feel like these two have lots of inside jokes that, literally, no one else gets (not even Edward ... or at least doesn’t get a lot of them) and all they have to do is look at each other and they smile and then start laughing.

Again, I’m not sure how these two relate to each other (again, griping bc SM gave Jasper zero personality). I think she really respects Jasper’s determination to adhere to the “vegetarian” lifestyle, if only for Alice. As per my Day Two post, I think they both really enjoy board games and spend long stretches of time playing Risk or making up new rules for monopoly, or something like that. I think that Esme tries really hard to not smother Jasper; but also still shows she loves and appreciates him. So quality time is her way of showing love to Jasper (if you wanna use language in terms of “The 5 Love Languages”).

I think Bella will always be “my (adopted) son’s beloved” to Esme. I’m honestly not really sure how these two relate to each other because they’re just really different. I know SM paints Bella as an “old soul” but also ... I can’t see it. Esme is literally from a different century and I just can’t see Bella understanding what it was like to live in a time without electricity, or have a husband who’d physically abuse you, or just things along those lines. I think they both enjoy books and probably have a book club kinda thing. But Bella just seems to be so wrapped up in Edward I can’t image her doing something with anyone else lol. That being said, I do believe they both try to find things to do together, if only for Edward’s sake.

I’m not doing Renesmee bc I like to pretend she doesn’t exist. Whoops.

[ginger-grimm]

if they had a kid + Frankie :)

Thank you for this ask! This is Frankie and Roslyn's adoptive daughter.

Name: Frida Esme Blanchard-Maire

Gender: Female

General Appearance: Natural beauty, light brown hair which she often adorney with pretty clips and sometimes glitter, loves wearing elegant dresses but knows how to dress down, wears a ring that was the only thing left over from her birth mother

Personality: Sweet, resilient, kind-hearted, empathetic

Special Talents: Doing hair and makeup, horseback riding, archery

Who they like better: Aunt Emma I believe she'd like Roslyn better, because they're both interested in things beauty and wardrobe and bond over this a lot, but she loves Frankie as well!

Who they take after more: Definitely Frankie! While she didn't give birth to her, Frankie raised her daughter well when it came to defending herself and not letting anything get you down

Personal Head canon: Before Zelena's curse hit, Frankie and Roslyn (who had just been reunited), found this little baby alone in the woods of the Enchanted Forrest and barely clinging on to life. They nursed her back to health, but it was looking bad for a minute. When the curse took them back to Storybrooke, baby was still nameless so the girls decided to give her a name with two meanings that they thought would suit her - Frida means "peaceful ruler" (something Frankie hopes she will be one day) and Esme means "beloved" (something Roslyn hopes she'll be).

Face Claim: Mia Goth

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

I just want to bully all three elf husbands. Imagine Haurchefant, Estinien and Aymeric in the just the four of us au getting all jelly over Raymond the corgi because Agni has been distracted over them :3 . Just want to take the time and say love your recent gposes

(Oh thank you!!! <3 I always love it when you send me asks!)

"That...thing...is a menace." Estinien huffed, arms crossed over his chest.

Aymeric rolled his eyes. "Tis not a menace but certainly a nuisance."

Haurchefant nodded. "Tis also not surprising when we know how much our lady loves cute animals." Every single cute animal our darling Agi sees, she must pet and cuddle. "Though I do wish some of that attention were turned back in our direction."

The three men watched as their beloved wife had baby Esme on her lap and looked at Raymond the corgi minion with glee. Even Esme is cooing at Raymond! Dear child, pray look towards your fathers.

However, within moments, Esme caught sight of her fathers and cooed loudly, leaning towards them with her fat little arms waving about! So cute!

"Oh! Goodness, I didn't see you three there!" Agnes giggled. "Have you seen Raymond splooting? He's positively adorable!"

Estinien smiled tensely. "Aye, we've seen the bloody minion do a thousand times. Today."

Haurchefant and Aymeric gave him a look (you grumpy ass, NOT NOW) while Agnes frowned. "Oh. Yes. Well, he's being very cute and Esme is watching him so closely. It's all...very cute." Estinien, I love you dearly, but our purpose to get her attention without making her sad!

Aymeric in the most graceful way possible moved to Agnes and sat next to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "What our darling grump means is that you've been spending a lot of time with Raymond--"

"And we'd like some of that, ah, redirected towards us, my lady wife." Haurchefant finished, taking Esme from Agnes. Sweet baby daughter, you are so loved. However, we would like some time with your mother so a trip to see Luci or Father might be in your future.

Agnes's eyes widened, and her mouth dropped. "Oh. My. Fucking. Gods. I am so sorry! I didn't realize! Oh, I'm so sorry!" She grabbed Aymeric's face and kissed him soundly. Then she moved to Haurchefant and did the same. And one more time for our grump with the large cock! There she goes! Now he'll be less miserable. "I really do apologize, my loves."

Estinien grunted. "Hmph. Tis no trouble, my sweet." He pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back. "Been feeling...needy. All of us." Estinien murmured softly.

She melted in his arms and sighed. Her sighs are like music! So beautiful! "Then perhaps some cuddles and kisses are in order, in addition to some private time." Stepping back, she glanced at Aymeric and Haurchefant before smiling softly. "After all, the three of you are my heart along with Esme and deserve--"

"An evening to ourselves, I agree, darling." Aymeric chuckled. "I shall contact your mother and see if she would like to take Esme."

"I'll make sure her to-go bag is packed." Estinien said with a small smile, his gaze catching Esme's. Oh, he adores her. It's so lovely to see. Estinien, after everything, deserves to be happy...we all do. As Estinien walked past Agnes, he pinched her ass making her giggle.

"And you, Haurche? What will you do, my knight brave and true?"

"Why, serve you of course!" He grinned. "As I have vowed to do til my last breath."

[edwardskhakipants]

Forks, Washington. August 2004.

Esme and Carlisle stood in the middle of their grand living room, waiting for their five vampire children to arrive. Alice arrived first—prompt as usual. She settled herself gracefully onto the tufted sofa Esme had recently acquired, only to be immediately jostled by Emmett who heaved himself onto the cushions. A breath caught in Esme’s throat—she had lost many pieces from her beloved collection by that action—but it looked like this one was still in one piece. For the moment. Jasper took Edward’s normal spot in the only armchair, forcing Edward to wedge himself between Alice and Emmett.

“What?” Rosalie grumbled as she perched on the armrest of the couch beside Emmett, “Are we having another one of those How to Respect the Telepath in Your Life meetings again?”

“No,” Edward answered, fully aware of the intent of this meeting since it hatched in Carlisle's mind two days prior. “But there’s never a bad time to bring that up. Christ, Emmett, if you’re going to have a song stuck in your head for over seventy-two hours, the least you can do is learn the correct lyrics.”

Emmett’s eyebrows knit together, asking his brother a silent question.

“It’s ‘mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido,’” Edward answered.

Emmett’s brow furrowed doubtfully.

“No.” Edward shook his head, answering Emmett’s thoughts. “Why would he eat a beetle?”

Emmett grinned playfully and tilted his head towards Edward.

Edward wasn’t amused. “You know what it means.”

A silly grin plastered on his face, Emmett elbowed Edward in the ribs, silently egging him on.  

Edward’s eyes darted to Carlisle, then Esme, and he shifted in his seat. “Sexual desire,” he muttered.  

Emmett howled with laughter and clapped his hands once, “Wow, Eddie! You’re just going to say that in front of Esme!?” Edward scowled as Emmett’s bouts of laughter echoed through the room.

Esme ran a hand through her youngest’s ginger hair. “Boys,” she warned, and Emmett sucked in his laughter.

“Our meeting today has to do with all of you,” Carlisle began.

“We simply wanted to go over the rules of attending school with you kids before you start your second year at Forks High School,” Esme explained, unfolding and re-folding her hands in front of her. “There are already whispers, and we don’t want those whispers to turn into rumors.”

“I thought the only whispers about us at school were whether or not Edward liked girls,” Rosalie said, earning an eye-roll from Edward.

“No,” Alice chirped,” Some kids think we’re a cult.”

Jasper leaned back heavily in his chair. “We haven’t heard that one since the Seventies.”

“Kids are getting more creative these days.” Emmett nodded appreciatively.

Esme held up one, delicate finger. “Which is why it is best to take preventative action.”

Carlisle took the floor. “We thought a few reminders would be helpful before you started your first day of your second year,” Carlisle said. “We don’t want another incident like the one we had at the end of last year.”

Every head in the room turned towards Emmett.

“What?” Emmett threw up his hands in exasperation, “The water gun fight was the senior prank—I wasn’t the one who brought them to the school. Hell, I wasn’t even the only student who got suspended!”

“That’s true,” Carlisle agreed, “but you were the only student to shout, ‘Sit down, kids! Daddy’s gotta tinkle,’ and shoot the stream of the gun from your crotch.”

Jasper snickered—the sound was immediately silenced by a single raised eyebrow from Esme.

“I still don’t see the problem,” Emmett continued, “That’s not necessarily a vampire thing.”

Edward—who often mistook himself as the third vampire parent rather than the youngest son—sighed, “Yes, but it brings unnecessary attention to the family. Which is the first rule: do not bring attention to yourself.”

Esme ran her fingers through her son’s hair once more, “Yes, darling, you are especially good at keeping to yourself.” Edward’s eyes widened, despite Esme’s gentle touch, already aware of where her point was headed. “So much so, that I have been given the names of several child therapists to help my son through his depression. One was recommended for his exceptional work on spotting and treating the early signs of sociopathic behavior.”

Esme grabbed her son’s chin and forced him to look at her. “You have to talk to other people.”

Knocked off his high horse, Edward flinched back from Esme’s hand. “Friendship with humans never bodes well for us.”

“We’re not asking you to create lifelong friendships with humans,” Carlisle clarified, “We are simply asking you to be likable.”

“A nearly impossible feat for Edward.” Rosalie grinned. The comment went unnoticed, save Edward’s slight flinch. But the quick, little tick was satisfying enough for Rose.

“Look at your father,” Esme gestured towards Carlisle, “At every hospital he works at, he goes out of his way to ensure he is well-liked among his colleagues. He forces down countless lunches and coffees, solely to make sure they’re comfortable around him.”

Carlisle took over. “And your mother, a beloved member of her gardening club and a prized member of the PTA.”

“And neither of us have rumors started about us, and do you know why?”

All five teenagers grumbled the ingrained response. “Humans don’t want to spread rumors about people they like.”

“Exactly.” Esme nodded.

“I try!” Alice whined, “But Edward never lets me talk to any humans.”

“That’s because every, single thing that is about to come out of your mouth is incriminating. You might as well walk around with a neon sign that says, ‘I’m a psychic vampire’.”

Alice scoffed, “Is not!”

“You wanted to tell Nihal Howard not to audition for the musical.”

“And he broke his leg on opening night,” Alice challenged.  

“You were going to tell Christiana Ward that pink was not her color.”

“And she lost prom queen to Ashley Kirby.”

Jasper put a comforting hand on his wife’s knee. “Maybe try not to meddle so much, darlin’. Natural relationships, first.”

“They would have been!” Alice wailed, “I would have played it cool and casual and made friends and you all would have seen it! But everyone’s hurt and I have no friends at all because Edward won’t let me try!”

Edward rolled his eyes.

Carlisle suppressed a heavy sigh. “You have to let your sister try, Edward.”

Edward’s mouth fell open. “You cannot seriously be siding with her on this!”

But Carlisle stood his ground. He and Edward stared at one another for a few seconds, engaged in a silent conversation. In the end, Carlisle tilted his chin and Edward slumped back. Victorious, Alice used both pointer fingers to jab Edward in the side several dozen times at vampire speed.

Rosalie flipped her golden locks over her shoulder. “I don’t know how you all struggle so much. I have no issues with becoming well-liked at school while remaining inconspicuous.”

“Oh yeah, you’re so inconspicuous,” Edward grumbled, now extra-petty that he had been called out two times in one meeting. “You dress like you're on your way to brunch at your second husband’s country club in Beverly Hills and you make out with your foster brother. The perfect picture of discretion in Forks High School.”

“At least I don’t dress like a sad, old man.” Rosalie grimaced, disappointed in her comeback. The light, humorous insults that were required in family situations were Emmett’s forte; Rosalie’s insults were meant to emotionally cripple a person.

Edward sat up in his seat on the couch and turned to face Rosalie. “I think you missed the main takeaway in that you make out with your foster brother.” Edward turned back. “I can read your minds, and I still don’t understand what made either of you think it was okay to bring your relationship to school?!”

Emmett smiled, unperturbed. “It’s hot.”

“It’s disturbing,” Edward disagreed.

Esme frowned, “You kids don’t really do that, do you?”

“Would it help if Jasper and I became an official couple too?” Alice suggested.     Jasper perked up at the idea of being able to hold hands with Alice in public again.

“No!” Edward yelled at the same time Emmett and Rosalie muttered their acquiesce.

“It wouldn’t seem as weird if there were two couples,” Emmett agreed.

Edward dug his fingers through his hair. “Oh my god!”

“...maybe not, kids,” Esme intervened, but was ultimately ignored.

“So should we come out today like it happened over the summer, or make a little show out of it?” Alice asked Rosalie.

Rosalie waved a hand in the air. “Oh, it’s way more fun if you play up the theatrics.”

“A little more realistic, too,” Emmett agreed.

Alice looked to Jasper for his opinion. “It might be better if we were discreet about it,” she said. “Like we knew it was wrong, but we wouldn’t let anything stand in the way of our love.”

Jasper scooted forward to the edge of his seat. “Or we could let it be quiet and drawn out. Let others see our mutual pining, and root for us to be together.”

Gazing deep into the golden eyes of her soulmate, Alice sighed, “I love that.”

“If people wanted us to get together, it would normalize Emmett and Rosalie’s relationship.”

“Or Rosalie and Emmett could stop,” Edward suggested, bitterly. “That would be normal, too.”

“Oh, Edward,” Alice patted his shoulder, “You’ll find love someday, too.”

“That is not at all what bothers me about the situation.”

Carlisle made the decision for everyone. “Rosalie and Emmett, break up at school. Alice and Jasper, remain friends and siblings.”

Disappointment filtered into the room through Jasper.  

“I heard that,” Edward grumbled at someone’s thoughts.

“You were supposed to,” Rosalie shot back.

“We are also initiating a new rule,” Esme brought the room back to the conversation at hand, “No more correcting your teachers.”

A chorus of complaints rang from the couch.

Esme clicked her tongue, “I’m tired of defending you all from entirely preventable issues. I have emails from curious teachers wondering why my foster daughter is taking French 101, when she already appears to be fluent.” Esme looked at Rosalie, who immediately tucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “Or why my son, at the tender age of sixteen, could not only deadlift three hundred pounds in his first weightlifting class, but also give his coach tips on improving his posture.”

Emmett glanced over at Edward before he realized Esme was, in fact, addressing him. “What!?”

Jasper snorted. The sound was a mistake, for it brought Esme’s wrath onto him. “And not to mention the emails from not one, not two, but three teachers warning me that my foster son has an intimate understanding of the mechanics of a point fifty-eight caliber rifle-musket.” Esme held out her hands, almost pleadingly, “How does that subject keep coming up, Jasper?”

A noncommittal grunt was the only answer Jasper had for that question.

“No more,” she commanded. “You can get good grades but keep your extra knowledge on any subject to yourself. Whatever your teacher teaches is all you know. Understand?”

“But what if we—” Edward started.

“Understand?” Esme repeated.

The five teenage vampires understood, even if they didn’t want to. 

“I believe that all five of you will graduate from Forks High School!” Esme cheered.

The kids stared back, unable to muster the zeal Esme had over the prospect.

“Meeting adjourned!” Carlisle announced, and faster than fast vampire speed, the kids bolted from their seats. 

Esme was able to get in a few more reminders as her children flitted around the house and filed out to the silver Volvo.  “Remember to buy lunch with cash and not your credit cards. Emmett, please do not joke about being mauled by a bear. Do not address your teachers by their first names—I don’t care if you’re older than they are, Edward. Alice, please wear something a bit more causal, pet.”

When the house was finally empty, Carlisle pulled Esme backwards into his chest and began massaging her temples. The gesture wasn’t needed, but any touch from her husband was always welcome.

“Do you think they’ll listen?” she asked her husband.

“Not a chance.”

[therealvinelle]

If Edward turned Bella after forcibly aborting Renesmee, how would canon go?

... that was the point of forcibly aborting Renesmée, though. The demon baby was killing hamburger, Edward's whole reason for wanting that abortion was to save Bella. Specifically, to keep her human.

He has this whole scene with Jacob where... screw it, I'll quote it, so you don't have to take my word for it:

“Just back up a second. She won’t let you.” The sarcasm was acid on [Jacob's] tongue. “Did you ever notice that she’s exactly as strong as a normal hundred-and-ten-pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs.”

“I wanted to,” [Edward] whispered. “Carlisle would have. . . .”

What, too noble were they?

“No. Not noble. Her bodyguard complicated things.”

Oh. His story hadn’t made much sense before, but it fit together now. So that’s what Blondie was up to. What was in it for her, though? Did the beauty queen want Bella to die so bad?

“Maybe,” he said. “Rosalie doesn’t look at it quite that way.”

“So take the blonde out first. Your kind can be put back together, right? Turn her into a jigsaw and take care of Bella.”

“Emmett and Esme are backing her up. Emmett would never let us… and Carlisle won’t help me with Esme against it. . . .” He trailed off, his voice disappearing. (Breaking Dawn, page 115)

(Note: this later turns out to be a lie. Carlisle explicitly states that he won't perform an abortion on Bella against her will. Edward has his back against the wall, and is losing his mind.)

“I don’t care about anything but keeping her alive,” he said, suddenly focused now. “If it’s a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants.” He paused for one beat. “She can have puppies, if that’s what it takes.”

He met my stare for a moment and his face was frenzied under the thin layer of control. My hard scowl crumbled as I processed his words, and I felt my mouth pop open in shock.

“But not this way!” he hissed before I could recover. “Not this thing that’s sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it hurting her.” He sucked in a fast breath like someone had punched him in the gut. “You have to make her see reason, Jacob. She won’t listen to me anymore. Rosalie’s always there, feeding her insanity—encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting it. Bella’s life means nothing to her.”

The noise coming from my throat sounded like I was choking.

What was he saying? That Bella should, what? Have a baby? With me? What? How? Was he giving her up? Or did he think she wouldn’t mind being shared?

“Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive.”

“That’s the craziest thing you’ve said yet,” I mumbled. (Breaking Dawn, pages 116-117)

Edward wasn't allowed to be alone with Bella because they knew he'd try this. Even Bella knew, it's why she asked Rosalie for help.

Say, though, that Edward is able to get Bella alone... somehow. He overhears Bella's phone call at the airport, and that's where things get scary because it means Bella can't go to Forks anymore. Wouldn't want Rosalie to get her claws into you, would we, Bella?

Edward contacts Carlisle with an update about the situation, and tells him to fly in with the medical equipment they'll need and make sure Rosalie can't interfere.

Unfortunately for Edward, Carlisle is not understanding about this. He'll do anything and everything he can to help Bella, yes, but he won't abort the baby against her will.

Again, just so no one is taking my word for it (I'm in a quotin' mood today):

“Yes. Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter.”

“But you’re going to let her die.”

[Carlisle] was quiet long enough that I looked up. His face was very, very tired. I knew how he felt.

“I can imagine what you think of me for that,” he finally said. “But I can’t ignore her will. It wouldn’t be right to make such a choice for her, to force her.” (Breaking Dawn, page 154)

So now Edward has Carlisle on the phone telling him to bring Bella to Forks damnit, they have all the equipment there, and failing that the family is coming down to Rio - but not to abort the baby. And off the phone is Bella, begging Edward to understand that their baby is a miracle.

Edward ends up performing the abortion himself.

Considering what the hybrid pregnancy did to Bella's body, including but not extended to turning her uterus to stone, she was likely doomed from the moment of conception. A simple suction or scrape isn't going to do. Oh, I'm sure he'd try, but Renesmée probably crushes whatever he tries to put in the uterus with her tiny, somehow-already-developed fists.

Edward would have had to perform a hysterectomy.

So we have a vampire with no surgical experience whatsoever performing a hysterectomy and abortion on his wife (And yes, hysterectomies are invasive procedures, you need to know what you're doing) and one can only hope he minded his anestesiology well enough not to kill her that way. To say nothing of the fact that Bella had been turned into a hybrid incubator, this isn't going to be like the textbooks Edward read in the 1950's. (For that matter, people's innards aren't identical to the textbooks. This organ can be bigger than expected and that artery might take a slightly different path than expected. We're genetically varied both on the inside and the outside, so Edward really can't rely on what he learned in school.)

Bella's not getting off that operating table alive.

In canon Edward did bite her in the end, once she was truly beyond saving, but she also did very much give birth Alien style. She wasn't going to survive, and Edward had even had some time to get used to that thought, however much he railed against it. He was desperate enough that in that fateful moment he chose to keep her.

This time, he abducted, drugged, and forcibly aborted her, all of it so she'd live on. If he bites her, that will all have been for naughty.

But if he doesn't, then his world will be a starless night again.

Could be he bites her, could be he doesn't. I can't predict Edward Cullen.

If he does, then Bella wakes up a vampire to find that her husband murdered both her and her child, and now wants her to forgive him. She never does, and Carlisle and Rosalie can't either. Even Esme would struggle with this one. The covens falls apart spectacularly, but at least Bella now has a Tragic Backstory™ to match the others.

If he doesn't, then Alice watches powerlessly this vision of Edward killing his wife, and all the Cullens can do is come in many hours later, when it's too late anyway, and bury Bella. The coven falls apart in this timeline too.

[panlight]

A quick thing. Thanks sop much for your Twilight analyses! Though I already wrote a post about why Rosalie is beloved and not nec. a vain blonde (agreeing w/you & others), your and your asker's point about Rosalie looking at her beauty as a remnant/continuation of her human identity/self in the face of her resented vampire life isn't something I ever though of and it really sheds some light on the neglected Rose! The celebrating her love for Emmett thru the weddings is also great! Gonna edit now

You're welcome! I enjoy reading your stuff, too!

I honestly feel like that's probably why she (and Carlisle) are still using their human names, too. I mean, really, it's because SM is lazy and didn't think through the consequences of using the same name after all these decades/centuries, but if you want an in-universe explanation, I think they're the two who cling on to their human identity the most, and names are a big part of that. Everyone else is using an assumed name in some form or another, either using a married named (Esme and Bella), or adopting a different surname ('Cullen' for Edward, Emmett and Alice; 'Hale' for Jasper); only Rosalie and Carlisle are using their actual (human) names.

In some ways I think Carlisle might long to be human just as much as Rosalie does, but with him it manifests in a much different way. He doesn't moan about or mourn what he lost (at least not anymore), instead he just . . . set out to live as much like a human as possible. He has a house and a job and wife and 'kids' and he moves in human society like a human, not as a vampire. Dude's going to office parties at the hospital and doing secret santa and sitting in boring meetings while other vampires either run around forests eating lost hikers or skulk about in old castles/temples planning to take over the vampire world. It's either inspiring or pathetic, perhaps even delusional, depending on your perspective. I'm sure every vampire he meets laughs when he introduces himself as "Carlisle Cullen" and not just 'Carlisle' and then they're like, oh you're serious? Still using your human surname? Weird.

But anyway I think you CAN make a case that Rosalie's vanity is about keeping something from her human life--keeping that sense of beauty, keeping that love for herself, and that when she looks in the mirror, she might look different but she's still beautiful, and she still has essentially the same hair (although it must be stronger than human hair somehow). She gets to keep that and will hold on to it with both hands.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What do you think it would happen if Edward suddenly lost his telepathy power?

Edward would be a complete and utter mess.

Canon Land

He actually is very concerned about this for a little bit in canon. In Midnight Sun, when he realizes he can't hear Bella's thoughts, his first thought isn't that Bella herself is special (how can she be, she's a human mayfly) but that his gift has limits he was unaware of or else worse, he's starting to lose it entirely.

He soon realizes that it's Bella and only Bella, which at first frustrates him but eventually intrigues him, and so the crisis passes.

But for a moment Edward contemplates the Edward without his gift. And he sees it as an utter loss of identity.

Edward views himself as a protector of the coven. Alice scans the future, Edward reads thoughts of those around them for those who might suspect them. If Edward doesn't have his gift, then he can't protect the coven anymore. He'll be weak and useless, he will completely lose his place in the coven.

Even not being able to read Bella's mind, before he became infatuated, bothered him significantly. She could be thinking something dangerous and he has no idea! Or, more to the point, Edward can only wring his hands just like the rest of them.

Without his gift, Edward is no longer special or important, and he desperately needs that.

We see this even in his treatment of Bella.

Bella is clearly gifted, Aro points out Bella is gifted in Volterra with ample evidence, it takes Eleazar insisting multiple times that Bella is gifted for Edward to finally admit "Fine, alright, I guess Bella's special too. Mumble grumble." Before then he always insists that the reason he can't hear Bella isn't that she has a gift, it's because she thinks differently than the entire world. Bella's brain is on AM radio waves, therefore Edward wins.

Edward is special.

Has Edward mentioned he's more special than his wife?

What if Edward Lost His Gift

If Edward loses his gift for real, suddenly we are in this very stark reality, Edward really isn't special anymore. He's the same as Emmett, but less so, as he isn't even that strong (but he is fast!)

Except that's not that useful in most situations.

Now it's Alice and Alice alone who relays intelligence about situations. Edward's just sitting there like a shmuck, wondering what he could have brought to the table, and feeling hopelessly small.

Worse, he has to act happy about this.

His family has a privacy that none but Bella ever had in his presence. Their thoughts are their own now, no more unintentional voyeur Edward. Surely, for Carlisle, this must be a huge weight off his shoulders than he's been carrying for one-hundred years.

How can Edward visibly mope when his gift disappearing has given these beloved people so much freedom?

Worse, it'd be Edward being the world's largest hypocrite. He complained about his gift all the time. How it isolated him from even his family, how the thoughts of others tormented him constantly, and how Bella was a blessed reprieve for her silence.

Well, now the entire world is silent, and Edward hates it. If he says that out loud, Rosalie will surely point out his blatant hypocrisy, and he hates that even more.

But it quickly proves even worse than that.

The Consequences Edward Did Not See Coming

Edward has a hint in canon, that perhaps he's not as good at understanding people as he thought he was. Bella is a complete mystery to him, and he actually cannot guess in any given moment what she's thinking (which is why he asks constantly).

He learns he's awful at reading expressions, for one thing, and begins to ponder if perhaps he hasn't been relying on his gift to inform his view of the world more than he thought.

What Edward doesn't realize is he has 0 understanding of people period. Edward doesn't even really understand them when he does read their thoughts, he selectively uses what he hears to reinforce an idea he already has about a person. We all do this to some extent, it's human nature, but Edward does it to an absurd degree.

Well, take his gift away, and Edward suddenly has to navigate this world without hearing anyone's thoughts. This is very trying for him.

He suddenly looks like a dumbass in Biology as he didn't actually know the answers, he just read them out of the teacher's mind. He doesn't know why people say what they're saying, has no idea of the intent behind any words or actions. He finds he has trouble reading anyone's expression, that navigating even a basic conversation feels like navigating a mine field.

Worse, his own family are strangers to him. He can guess, sure, but sometimes he'll just find himself looking at Rosalie and realize he has absolutely no idea what's running through her head. Vanity, surely, but that Edward doesn't know bothers him to the nth degree.

The Results of All of This?

Edward becomes incredibly moody, terse, and depressed. He fakes being happy about it for a few weeks, and insists later that his losing his gift is great, huzzah, but everyone knows he's miserable.

The family at first gives him space to adjust, while they discuss madly if this means all their gifts might someday disappear, but then it becomes clear Edward desperately needs an intervention.

They try with Bella, no luck, she makes him feel worse as Bella's still the level of gifted that can stop the best of the Volturi all at once. They try with Renesmee, no luck, Renesmee's filled with schadenfreude over this turn of events. They try with Esme, a little better, but no luck because nothing can actually give Edward back his gift.

Edward reenters the haze of depression he started Twilight in. Bella is devastated that she can't help him, their marriage struggles due to this. Eventually, I imagine Edward comes to view himself as a burden and leaves the coven, insisting that Bella and Renesmee do not go with him.

Everyone protests this, Edward insists. They don't need a useless vampire hanging around killing the mood. Bella likely goes out looking for him, but is unable to convince him to come back to the family or even to their marriage.

Bella returns devastated realizing that, yet again, she has been dumped by Edward.

[troquantary]

Edward Cullen: That Boy Ain’t Right

So I was doing a reread of @therealvinelle 's collection of Twilight metas, as one does, and in "Edward, Denial, and a Human Girlfriend" she mentions that she doesn't believe Edward is sane. I thought, "ha, yeah, he's definitely not," and also, "but wait, what does that mean exactly, please say more about that." But since she's already inundated with asks, I've decided to use my own head-muscle and explore this idea. (TL;DR: I start out more or less organized, synthesize some points Vinelle has made across several posts (and have hopefully linked to them all where relevant but please tell me if not), touch a little on narcissism, then take a hard left into the negative effects of being a telepath.)

Just a couple things to note at the outset, though. Theses have been written already (probably) about Edward as an abuser. Edward being insane doesn't negate that at all; he's definitely an asshole and just...a disaster of a human being. (I find it more funny than anything, but YMMV.) I'm also going to try to avoid talking specifically about mental illness and how it relates (or doesn't relate) to abusive behavior -- that's territory I'm not really equipped to discuss, like at all. My starting point is "Edward has a deeply warped perception of reality," not "Edward has X disorder."

So: deeply warped perception of reality. The evidence? Goes behind a cut, because my one character trait is Verbose.

Vinelle provides a great example of it in the post linked above, which I'll just quote because she does words good: "[Edward] keeps acting like his romance with Bella is a romantic tragedy, and all the cast of Twilight are actors on a stage making it as sublime as possible." Edward's the one to pursue Bella, but he does so with the full belief, from the very beginning, that it will never last; Bella will "outgrow" him, go on her human way, and he can spend the rest of eternity brooding magnificently over his too-short romantic bliss. [Insert premature ejaculation joke.] Turning her is never an option, even though Alice, Noted Psychic, says that romancing Bella will either end with her dead (exsanguinated) or dead (vampire).

This framing, where he's a dark anti-hero in love with -- but never tainting! -- the pure maiden and eventually leaving her in a grand, tragic sacrifice to preserve her soul? It's fucking bonkers. Bella isn't a person to him in this scenario. As Vinelle points out, Bella's never really a person to him at all; he falls in love with his own mental construct, cherry-picking from what he observes of her behavior and her responses to his 20 (thousand) Questions to convince himself that she is the ideal woman.

Bella's not the only one who gets the projection/cardboard-cutout treatment. Edward sees everything and everyone through a highly particular, personalized lens. He filters his entire reality, which we all do to an extent, but the thing with Edward is that he starts with his conclusions and then only pays attention to the evidence that supports those conclusions. Often that evidence consists of what he admits in New Moon are only "surface" thoughts -- but recognizing that limitation doesn't keep him from taking those thoughts as representative of what people are. Edward then becomes absolutely convinced by his own "reasoning" and won't be swayed from what he has decided is Objectively True. It's obvious with Bella; it's also painfully obvious with Rosalie. (Vinelle explains this and brings up Edward's raging Madonna/Whore complex in the same post, so refer to that again -- she's right.)

He also catastrophizes. Everything. Bella's just vibing in her room, rereading Wuthering Heights for the 87th time? She's gonna be hit by a meteor, better sneak into her room while she sleeps. Bella's going to the beach with the filthy mundanes their human classmates? She's gonna fall in the ocean. Jasper's cannibal pals are stopping by for a visit, but know not to hunt in the area? DISASTER, DEFCON 1, ALSO FUCK YOU JASPER FOR EVEN EXISTING IN MY AND BELLA'S SPHERE YOU UNSPEAKABLE BURDEN. Edward must believe that Bella is vulnerable and in near-constant peril, to support the reality he has created in which he is the villain turned protector and maybe?? hero??? (!!!) for his beloved. So when the actual, James-shaped danger arrives, he goes berserk, snarling and flipping his shit and generally not helping the situation. His fantasy demands that Bella remain human, so instead of doing the very thing Alice, Noted Psychic, assures him will neutralize the threat (and not just a threat to Bella, either, but to Bella's family and any other human James might decide to include in the "game"), he vetoes it immediately, no discussion. Bella Must Not Turn, and he sticks to those guns despite James nearly reducing her to ground beef, despite leaving Bella catatonic with depression (but human! success!) in New Moon, despite Aro's order and his family's vote and, let's not forget, Bella's clearly and repeatedly stated desire to be a vampire. It's going to happen. But he doesn't accept it until Renesmee busts out of Bella like the Kool-Aid man and the poor girl's heart finally, unequivocally stops.

Sane people don't behave this way. I don't want to slap labels on Edward, but I can't help but note that he comes across as highly narcissistic. He's the only real person in his universe, the lone player among us NPCs. That probably has a lot to do with him being frozen in the mindset and maturity of a seventeen-year-old boy, but I think it's also just...him, on some fundamental level. His failure to connect with others and recognize them as full, independent beings with their own wants and priorities isn't like Bella's failure -- she's badly depressed. Edward is...something else, and I get the sense that his sanity has been steadily deteriorating over time. And a cursory google of narcissistic traits turns up some familiar-looking stuff. He's self-loathing, yes, but also grandiose; he hates himself for the monster he is (and hates most vampires besides Esme and Carlisle for their monstrosity, too) but still feels superior to humans, to the extent that he felt entitled to human blood and resented Carlisle for depriving him of his "proper" diet. He eventually returns to Carlisle, but he's far from content -- the beginning of Midnight Sun finds him in a state of ennui, bored and dismissive of (if not outright disgusted by) everyone around him, that has apparently persisted for years and years. He doesn't play the piano, he doesn't compose, he doesn't enjoy anything...at least until Bella comes along and then he becomes obsessed to a disturbing degree with her and his new, romantic tragedy spin on reality.

[Next-day edit: I’m not sure where else to fit this in, but the way Edward casually contemplates violence against people who have, at best, mildly annoyed him is...chilling. I have a hard time writing off his strategizing how to murder the entire Biology class as a result of bloodlust -- it’s so calculated, nothing like the blackout state of thirst Emmett describes when he encountered his own “singer,” and that is probably the default for when a vampire is extremely thirsty. But even ignoring the Biology class incident, Edward still does things like consider, with disturbing frequency, how he might grievously injure or kill Mike Newton, all because...Edward considers him his romantic rival (despite Bella barely giving the kid the time of day). He thinks about slapping Mike through a wall, which might be an amusing slapstick image, except as a vampire Edward’s actually capable of turning this boy’s skeleton to a fine powder. So it’s, y’know, kind of sick when you think about it.

But even worse than that, when Bella tells Edward about how she flirted with Jacob to get at that sweet, sweet vampire lore, Edward chuckles and then, after dropping Bella home, flippantly observes that now that the treaty’s broken, why not genocide? I’m not even kidding, it’s right there in Midnight Sun; he seriously thinks about the fact that he’d be technically justified now in wiping out the entire tribe because a teenager tried to impress a girl with a spooky story. That is fucked. Remember, Edward was there with Carlisle when the treaty was first established. He knows how remarkable it is that they even came to a truce in the first place, that it was only ever possible because Carlisle is...well, Carlisle, and that it marks a pretty significant moment in supernatural history. He doesn’t care; he doesn’t respect it, or he’d never think something like “Ha ha, if I went and killed them all, I wouldn’t even be wrong. I mean, I won’t do it, but I’m just saying, I wouldn’t be wrong.”

Again: not the thought process or behavior of a sane person. (Or a person that respects life in general -- sorry Carlisle, big L.)]

Finally, whether he's a narcissist or not, I think the fact that Edward has constant, unavoidable access to everyone's thoughts is a powerful contributing factor to his instability. He can tune out the mental noise to an extent, but he can't stop it -- so he comes to rely on it like another sense. This causes issues with disconnect and lack of empathy, of course, but there's another facet to this shit diamond: he's basically experiencing a ceaseless flow of intrusive thoughts. His narration in Midnight Sun suggests that he "hears" the words people think, can "see" what they visualize in their mind's eye, and can sense the emotional "tone" and intensity of their thoughts. Therefore, perceiving Jasper's thirst through his thoughts makes Edward more aware of his own, "doubling" the discomfort. This would be a lot to deal with even from just his immediate coven members, but Edward gets all of this pouring into his head like a firehose on a day-to-day basis because the Cullens live right alongside humans. I know Meyerpires have galaxy brains or whatever, but that's a ton to process.

Besides the compounding effect on his own thirst when he "feels" the thirst of others, Meyer never suggests that Edward has difficulty separating his own thoughts from other people's; even when he was newly turned, he recognized Carlisle's "voice" in his head as Carlisle's. That would create a whole different host of issues around identity, but it looks like Edward's escaped that particular torment. However, I can easily imagine that what he does experience is just shy of unbearable nonetheless, with an eroding effect on his sanity over decades. He can't sleep to escape it; he's on a dishwater diet and probably (like the rest of his family) experiencing a perpetual, low-grade physical discomfort due to his thirst never being fully satisfied; and he's around far more people than is the norm for vampires -- even discounting all the humans, his own coven is unusually large -- meaning more noise.

Honestly, it would be weirder if he were all there, considering.

And even though I feel like I lost a sense of structure around where I started ranting about telepathy, I've written like 1.5k words about Edward fucking Cullen and I think that's enough for one post.

[monstersandmaw]

Like Moon and Tide (Part II)

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

Well, since you surprised me and actually seemed to enjoy Part I (and thank you so much to those who reblogged it and who left me such lovely comments/asks about it!!), here’s Part II.

Content warnings: vague memories of a past event that was traumatic for Niles are brought up (not sexual) and which will be explored more in a later chapter, the conniving cat does something that appears to put himself in danger, and some insecurities about being both a gay witch and a goth are briefly addressed (and resolved). And fluff. There’s fluff too.

Wordcount: 3624

Rating: SFW

Part One

Niles waited until after eleven the next day to go round and drop the clean plate off at Luca’s, partly because he was still a bit hungover from the night before, and partly because he had no idea what kind of hours the witch kept.

He turned Spectre out into the garden since it was such a gorgeous day, and told the husky he’d be back soon. Spectre just snapped his jaws playfully and then capered off like a lunatic, bucking and yipping, before rolling around — in something unspeakable no doubt — under the twisted old apple tree at the end of the narrow garden.

As Niles watched in baffled amusement, the husky froze on his back halfway through a roll, paws in the air, fixed Niles with a sidelong look, and then sneezed spectacularly.

“Nutcase,” Niles snorted as he stepped back into the kitchen. “I live with a fucking nutcase.”

With his black hair hanging loose around his face like a curtain, he pulled his front door shut behind him with a click. As he crossed the road, his phone buzzed in his pocket, and he saw a timely message. He paused to read it, laughing. Last night, after his three best friends had all piled merrily into his kitchen, it had been Alyson who had first spotted the cake on the table. She’d looked flatly at first the cake and then at him and said, “You don’t bake, but that’s homemade.”

“I don’t,” Niles had grinned, cheeks colouring.

“I don’t think you even know what goes into a cake,” Aiden had laughed, and his girlfriend had agreed with a sly nod.  

“It’s true, baby bat,” Alyson had sighed affectionately, using her very, very old nickname for him. She still used it, despite the fact that he now towered over her, and had been in the lifestyle for over a decade. She’d swiped her finger through the icing and her eyes rolled. “You couldn’t make anything from scratch, let alone something that orgasmically delicious.”

“I think you mean ‘organic’, darling,” Aiden purred through her voluminous black hair as he pulled her down into his lap beside the table and Niles grabbed four beers from the fridge.

Alyson batted her eyelashes at him, red-contacts flashing in the low light, and rocked her hips, her back to his chest. “You wish, darling.”

After that, Niles had made the mistake of telling his beloved but nosey friends about the flamboyant and beautiful witch across the road.

Alyson, Aiden, and Esme had ribbed him affectionately until he’d flushed crimson and fessed up to possibly having a bit of a crush on him, and they’d refused to leave that night without his promising that he’d at least try and flirt back.

When he’d insisted that he had no idea if the guy was even interested in him, he’d been fixed with universal flat stares, and all three voices chorusing, “He made you a fucking cake, Ni.”

His cheeks had darkened and he’d looked away, wondering.

Now as he stared at the message from Alyson -  a simple crossed-fingers emoji and a bat - he snorted. It had seemed almost plausible in the quiet candlelight of his kitchen last night, while the four friends had been gathered around the table, catching up over cheap takeaway, beer, wine, and orgasmically delicious chocolate cake, but now in the bright light of a spectacular autumn day, it all seemed a bit feeble.

Still, he had a plate to return, so he pushed the wrought iron gate open and walked up the neat, stone path. The cold metal tingled oddly beneath his fingers, reminding him of pins and needles. Two steps up the path, and his eye was briefly caught by little sets of rounded river pebbles nestled into the flowerbeds, all carved with odd runes and glyphs, and all too soon he came to a shy halt at the front door. It was painted a deep, lemon yellow.

Luca’s house was like his own only in its basic Victorian architecture. Where Niles had painted the door and window frames black, and had rather neglectfully ignored the garden and let the rambling mint take over, Luca’s house looked like a fairytale cottage. Wisteria was twining its merry way around the door and ground floor windows, hugging the bay window of the front room, and a riot of cheerful flowers he couldn’t identify shimmied about in the little chilly breezes as if they rather enjoyed it; as if they were being tickled. He smiled, but his courage still faltered.

He could just leave the plate on the step and run. Something about this place thrummed with energy and it made him feel a little nauseous as memories long left behind threatened to rise.

No, just leaving it there for him to trip over would be a shitty thing to do, so he tugged on the cast iron doorbell a little harder than was necessary. A minute later, the door opened, and Luca stood there looking surprised, but not displeased, at the intrusion. No waistcoat this time, Niles noticed, but the man was still wearing a crisp white shirt tucked into dark trousers. He was barefoot, however, and his hair looked a little less precise than usual.

“Oh,” he said softly, and then he beamed at the sight of Niles, as if finding a lanky, awkward goth on his doorstep was the best gift in all the world. It made Niles’ heart beat oddly for a moment.

“I brought your plate,” he said stupidly.

“All gone already?” Luca laughed as he took it. “I told you not to eat it all at once. Come in?”

“My friends helped,” he said, stepping in and shuffling his big, clunky black boots over the doormat. They were almost completely clean already since he’d only just touched up the polish on them, so he didn’t take them off. He didn’t exactly intend to stay anyway.

Luca didn’t seem to care or notice either way. His hallway — lined with a multitude of mismatching and abandoned shoes and slippers — sported the same original hardwood as Niles’, but where the varnish had been scuffed down over the years at his own place, here it had been cared for, sanded down, and re-varnished a warm honey colour. The walls were a sunny, primrose yellow, and daylight streamed in through massive windows in the front sitting room, bouncing off mirrors and picture frames until the whole place felt bathed with light.

It suited him perfectly.

“Ah yes,” Luca smiled, leading him through to a cosy kitchen at the back, with a scrubbed wooden table, and glinting copper pots hanging up around the walls. “I think I saw them leaving yesterday when I popped out to the bins around midnight,” he went on.

Niles snorted. “I’m surprised you didn’t get calls from the locals, demanding you exorcise them.” Unbelievably, that had actually happened before, only it had involved police not priests.

A dangerous look flashed over Luca’s face and he paused by the large AGA range where a kettle sat steaming. “And I’d have told them where to stick their prejudices if they had,” he snarled.

His tone took Niles so off-guard that he shut his mouth with a click of teeth and couldn’t think of anything to say.

“I’m sorry,” Luca sighed, running his hands through his dark brown hair. In the light that flooded in through the window over the sink, even at the back of the house, little copper flashes darted through it like minnows in a stream. “I tend to get a bit… ‘touchy’ when it comes to people and metaphorical pitchforks. Can I make you some tea or something, by the way? I’ve just put the kettle on.”

“No thanks. I’m good,” he said automatically, though his throat was definitely dry. “You’ve had trouble before?” Niles blurted while Luca fished out a tea bag for himself, amazed that anyone could have taken a disliking to Luca.

The man fixed him with an odd expression. “I’m a witch, Niles.”

“Lots of people have magic,” he shrugged, not quite following.

Luca’s eyebrows rose a little. “Yes,” he said slowly, patiently, “But I’m a man who calls himself a witch. A lot of people don’t like that either. They think witchcraft is only for women, or they think far worse than that. Oh, and I’m also gay, by the way. Let’s just throw that out there while I’m at it. Openly and unabashedly gay. Add that to the fact that I’m actually pretty bloody powerful, and people start getting nervous.” He twitched his head in a little sideways movement. “It’s led to trouble before, and it’s given me quite the protective streak,” he said with precise enunciation.

“Oh. Well, when you put it like that…” Niles said with a shy smile.

It was hard not to be drawn in by him, but for some reason he’d thought Luca was just the kind of showy witch who brewed a few herbal teas and clucked to his clients about star signs and whatever the fuck Mercury was currently doing. He hadn’t realised he was actually a powerful practitioner, and the thought made him suddenly a little queasy, though he tried not to show it. Those memories started itching at the back of his skull again, begging to be examined, but he locked them away again with a soft exhale.

Then his courage failed him entirely. “Anyway,” Niles said suddenly. “Listen, I don’t want to hold you up. I just came to thank you for the cake, and to return the plate.”

Abruptly, he turned to make for the front door, only to be immediately halted by the sight of a small black cat sitting dead-centre in the hallway beyond, staring unblinkingly up at him with intense, green-gold eyes.

“Uh…” he blinked and glanced back to find Luca leaning to one side rather comically, trying to peer around him from the AGA.

“Tobias?” Luca murmured, setting the kettle down. “When did you wake up? You were fast asleep on my bed when I left you.”

The cat flicked an ear but didn’t take his eyes off Niles.

For a long time, Niles stood as if spellbound by the creature, and neither he nor Luca moved. Eventually, the cat rose slowly and Niles realised with a small jolt that he had no right hind leg. The cat moved with surprising grace — he could just imagine how ungainly Spectre would be in the same condition — and made a perfect circle around his ankles, staring at him the whole time, evaluating him.

Deeply unnerved, Niles looked to Luca who wore a very strange expression.

“Toby?” he murmured, crouching down and holding out his hand. “C’mere, love. You’re making our dear neighbour uncomfortable, staring at him like that.”

The cat didn’t go to him. He sat down on Niles’s black boot and let out a very soft ‘mrrp’.

“Everything ok?” Niles asked, staring from witch to cat and back again.

“He likes you,” Luca rasped, still crouching. His wry astonishment gave Niles the impression that his cat was normally some kind of knife-wielding maniac who generally attempted homicide on any strangers who dared enter the house.

“Well, add that to Spectre, and that makes two people in this town.”

“Three,” Luca said with a lopsided smile, and stood. Dusting his hands down his thighs in a nervous gesture, he laughed and said again with a little more composure, “Three.”

Niles twitched his mouth and looked down at the cat. “May I go home now? I’ve got work to do…”

With a flick of his tail, the cat rose and went to Luca, who picked him up and cuddled him like he was a baby. Tobias ignored Niles completely then, and Niles took it for a dismissal.

“What do you do for work?” Luca asked from the doorway to the kitchen without looking away from the cat.

“I’m a software developer,” he said. “I work from home.”

“Nice. I used to think I’d get nothing done if I worked from home, but having a shop in town got too much of a bother for me. Working from here suits me,” he said and offered Niles a quick smile.

Talk of the witch’s profession started to make his skin crawl a little, so he just nodded and turned to go, leaving Luca in the kitchen with the cat and picking his way past all the abandoned shoes in the hall.

The instant Niles opened the front door, however, a muted shout of surprise reached him from the kitchen, and something small and black streaked out and down the hallway like a canon ball. It was through Niles’ legs before he could process Luca’s panicked yell of “Toby!”

The cat was out of the front door and up the path in a heartbeat, and as Niles heard Luca’s yells and running feet, a car round the street corner.

The next few seconds played out in slow motion for Niles.

Both he and Luca turned to see Tobias shoot out into the road at the same moment.

Luca grabbed Niles’ arm with his right hand as if to hold himself upright and thrust his left out in front of him with his palm facing the car, casting some kind of spell.

The air rippled and distorted, and all at once Niles felt like he was imploding. His chest and ribcage seemed to get sucked inwards as unmistakable power ripped through him with the force of an ocean tide. Those memories crashed unbidden through his mind at the horribly familiar sensation, and he cried out.

The car stopped instantly, though mercifully it hadn’t been going at any real speed, and Tobias continued blithely on into Niles’ front garden, heedless of the mayhem he’d left behind, sprang six foot up the fence at the side of the house — which would have surprised Niles under normal circumstances — and vanished.

Luca let go of Niles’ arm as if he’d been burned and staggered back, gawping at him wide-eyed and panting.

“Luca?” he asked but the man stumbled onto the little patch of mossy lawn beside the path.

Niles reached out to take him gently by the elbow, but the witch recoiled even further and then lurched away down the path to apologise to the driver of the car, and then to call to Tobias from the pavement once the car had driven off.

“Come through and see if he’s in the back garden,” Niles said, wary, unsettled, and confused after Luca’s odd reaction and the strange turn of events. In the aftermath of Luca’s magic, his ears were ringing, and he fumbled with his keys as he slotted them into the lock. Lightheaded, he shouldered his black front door open where it always stuck a bit in the cold and stepped inside.

Whenever magic happened around him, it was never good. At least the cat was alright.

Luca was still barefoot, he realised as the man padded silently through his home in Niles’ wake.

Once the back door was open, they stepped out into the garden and found Spectre standing in the middle of the lawn, tail arched high, ears forward, staring at Tobias, who was facing him and also standing perfectly still. Black cat and white husky stared at each other, motionless. Any other cat would have sent Spectre into a frenzy of barking, but now he just stood there.

“What the…?” Niles murmured, and opened his mouth to whistle to Spectre, but Luca hissed at him.

“Wait.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Niles asked in a tense whisper.

“I’m not entirely sure,” he replied, shooting him a look.

Whatever silent discussion the two animals were having came to an abrupt end a moment later.

Spectre whined and yowled softly at the cat, who turned his back on the dog and then coolly regarded Luca and Niles who were still standing astonished on the tiny terrace. Then he stalked haughtily over to Luca’s feet and gave another imperious ‘mrrp’. Luca opened his arms. The cat leapt up, and turned to look at Niles with uncanny clarity in his gaze.

A wet nose pushed into Niles’ hand and he jumped, looking down into Spectre’s brown and blue eyes. “What the fuck was all that about?” he asked, speaking more to the dog than to Luca. When he turned back to the witch, he found the man’s eyes were oddly glassy. “You alright?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Luca rasped. “Tobias, you scared the shit out of me, pulling a stunt like that. Didn’t you learn the first time?” he asked, running reverent, trembling fingertips over the smooth plane of the cat’s empty right hip. “Don’t ever do anything like that again, you hear me?”

That last he uttered in a broken hiss, and the cat reached a paw up and gently bopped Luca’s chin, patting him a couple of times in much the same way he might bat at a feather toy, only there were no claws now, and the gesture was unmistakably fond. And perhaps just a tiny bit patronising. It was almost as if he’d orchestrated the whole thing without ever truly putting himself in danger. If Luca saw it though, he didn’t say anything, but Niles couldn’t help feeling the cat wasn’t like your average house cat.

Luca took a very deep breath, nuzzled his nose against Tobias’, and then lifted his gaze to meet Niles’. For a moment, he just looked at him, but then he smiled and said shakily, “I think… I think I’m going to take Tobias back now.”

Something indefinable inside Niles fractured a little, but he nodded.

“But…” Luca swallowed and Tobias wriggled slightly. At first, Niles thought he was trying to escape again, but when he looked a little closer at the cat, he thought that Tobias was in fact shuffling to get a better look at Niles from his position in Luca’s arms. Strange animal.

“But?”

Luca licked his lips. “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume you’re not straight…?”

Niles couldn't help the slow smile that spread over his face, and he shook his head. “No, you’re not wrong. Definitely not straight.”

“Well, that’s a relief. Should make this next part only half as difficult for me as it might have been before…” He took another deep breath, held it, and then said, “Since our animals seem to be set on the idea, how about we get to know each other better? I’d like to take you for dinner somewhere, if… if you’d find that… amenable.” His glittering confidence, apparently indistinguishable until then, sputtered out a little at the end.

Again, Niles smiled. “I wasn’t sure I’d be your type, exactly,” he said carefully. He’d forgone the usual eyeliner and eyeshadow that day, but his clothes and nails were still black, his boots chunky and decked in clinking buckles, and his long hair loose and more than a bit scruffy.

“Oh, you’re precisely my type,” Luca purred. “Tall, dark, sensitive, sweet, and with a soft spot a mile wide for animals. What’s not to love?”

Niles raised an eyebrow to disguise the way his heart thudded. “Plenty, if you believe my exes…” he muttered.

“Yeah, well, forgive me if I don’t trust their opinion on the matter. They were obviously idiots for either mistreating you or letting you go.”

Unexpectedly choked, Niles just nodded. “Alight,” he managed. “I think I find your offer… ‘amenable’.”

Luca laughed, and it wasn’t the tittering, nervous giggle he’d heard earlier, but a full-bodied bark that made Tobias squirm again, and Spectre began yelling again beside him. It started with his usual small whining at being left out of things, but rapidly became a string of full blown sentences in yowling husky noises.

“Alight, alright,” Niles said, closing his hand around the husky’s ivory muzzle which only muffled the noises comically and made his cheeks puff out a bit. “Shut up, you giant moron. I’d love to go for dinner with him.”

“This weekend alright?” Luca asked as he stepped back up into Niles’ kitchen, still cradling the cat in his arms. If he let go of Tobias all day, it’d be a miracle, Niles thought idly.

“Perfect. You have somewhere in mind?”

“How do you feel about Nepalese food?”

Niles shrugged. “I can’t say I’ve ever had it, but I’m ok with spice.”

“Good. I think you’ll love this place then. We can walk from here actually, if that’s ok? I’ll swing by just before seven?”

Niles nodded. “Wait, Luca…?”

“Mmm?”

He swallowed, unable to make himself ask the question. He looked down at himself as he thought the words anyway. Do you want me to dress more normal?

Luca seemed to read something of his distress in his eyes because he frowned and then smiled. “I thought I made it clear earlier when I said I don’t give two hoots what the villagers with pitchforks think of me. Same goes for what they think about you, sweetheart. Though…” he added coyly and Niles’ heart clenched for a moment, “I’d love to see some purple around those big grey eyes of yours… if you have something that would work…?”

Niles smiled then and nodded. “Purple. That I can do.”

As he and Spectre watched Luca leave, Spectre began to yowl again; a sing-song chorus of triumphal yelling that sounded so elated that somehow Niles couldn’t find it within himself to tell him to shut up again. He just shoved the husky playfully in the chest, which sparked a quick round of chase between the two. When he went up to start work, his heart felt lighter than it had in months, despite the strange reaction he’d had to Luca’s magic.

He shot Alyson a text before he settled down. ‘Got myself a date. Be proud.’

‘Get in, baby bat!’ came her response half an hour later.

__ 

Part Three

Hope you enjoyed it so far, and are looking forward to their date! Let me know with a reblog (or an inbox) :D. The incident with Luca’s magic will be explained, I promise... :)

__

| Masterlist | Ko-fi | Writing Commissions |

[vroomvroommbtch]

I've found 'So it goes' this friday and read the entire thing during the weekend! IT IS AMAZING! I just cannot pinpoint what is my favourite part of this story: I love that it's a Michael fic, how soft and sweet but still firm you wrote him, and how you put all this little "real life" informations about him; I absolutelly adore Maggie, her loud loud mind and all her quirks. I love their story - even when it hurts - and their love. Those two together are the real deal! But it's not just that... it's also how you write Dan and Jas, the sister's relationship, their group of friends, Dan and Mags, and then Mike and Jas having a special understanding of the other and acting like siblings, the whole family dynamics... Let me tell you, Esme can adopt me as a ganddaugher if she wants, so I can cook with her!

Now that I'm waiting for the next chapter, I'm feeling like when you finish a good tv series, so I'm re-reading all my favourite scenes.

Reading Olivia's first day at the hospital, Mike and Maggs completely enamorated for the babygirl and for each other while with her, them all snuggled up at the armchair and all the soft, I cant help to wish we could see them as parents too. Mike is already so protective of Maggie, so I can ony imagine how that would be amplified once they're expecting. And Maggie and her huge huge heart? She'd be such a caring momma.They'd be the best parents to Olivia's little baby cousin, and Jas and Dan as auncle and auntie? Oh my heart! I'm sorry for the long long ramble, but as you can see your characters completely stole my heart.

I'm anxiously waiting for the next chapter in Maggie ans Mike's story, and to see those two just be fo freaking happy together! Thank you for sharing those sweets with us!

-🏎

Anon i cant even start to explain how this made my day/month/year/century. I just have no words?? Thank you thank you thank you. Means A LOT to know you like it. I tend to dislike everything i write so this really means the world to me. Life has been crazy lately but I’m working on a chapter of House of memories bc Jas and Dan my beloveds. But I promise there’s gonna more about Mike and Mags. Just have patience with me 🥲 Also I want Esme to adopt me too lol. Again THANK U! And come say hi in the chat if u want one day?? 👀🫶🏻

[heleneplays]

Fluffy ideas pt.2

once again, your local lesbian out here with bullet points and a whole lot of feelings for the MCR gang........

ft. @h-e-s-1 's Kamille + @horreurific Calliope, a little, as a treat :)

as per @horreurific 's prev comment, lemme address the mugging incident first--

Everyone had gone clubbing the night before, so u know the squad is pretty out there in terms of sobriety and energies

Except Dominique, who came late, and elected to be the responsible™ to get them back to the appartment

SO

obv the morning after was the best time to bamboozle everyone <3

they take out all the mugs, glasses, and bowls to hide them

not even the emergency plastic cups hidden in the back of the pantry is spared

and by hid. i meant they fucking set everything on the lawn.

so everyone gets in, wanting to eat breakfast and b done with the morning--

and Dominique's just sitting there, shit-eating grin on their face

"Real muggy out there, isn't it?"

(Dominique chose violence that morning and they dont regret their decisions)

"Dominique I love you but if you put all the drinking utensils outside, on the lawn, UNSUPERVISED, at 7 am in the morning, I am going to bonk you on the head." -Helene

"Bonk? Oh. You mean maim." -Esme

"No need, I'll do it for you bestie." -Rémy

"And with this empty tube of the wrapping paper I found in the closet!" -María

"Why is there a--" -Cleo

"You don't want to know." -Zhu

"Can't we just have Dominique pick them up? Is violence necessary?" -Abdul

"YES??????"

"Fair. But I don't wanna clean this mess up tho <3" -Dominique

"...You may have a little violence, as a treat." -Abdul

and then Kamille comes over from the next building over to bonk Dominique after the squad crushes the paper tube, with a foam noodle she brought with her after Zhu texts her what's happening that morning

(...mild concussion from the bonking from everyone aside)

needless to say please dont fuck with the utensils, lest the wrath of 7 people who u cohabitate + the cousin who lives across u with fall upon ye

ANYWAYS moving on

mind been thinking abt the ppl in the squad who can drive......... which is everyone.............. by technicality

Cleo and María have their license, and ride motorcycles as their main mode of transportation <3

Esme knows, has a license, but prefers to ride with Abdul and Rémy for the company :)

Abdul is an overachiever and has a license to drive and man a private boating craft

Zhu and Dominique know AND can drive. License tho? No one knows but they haven't been ticketed... yet.

Rémy knows but likes to take public transportation or walk... or carpool with someone, namely Abdul & Esme

and lastly... Helene has a license but 0 knowledge how to drive. girl help :(

rt tho i am helene and helene is me. can u believe i have a nonpro license YET 0 knowledge to drive. help.

She learns eventually tho, and is making steady use of her license in the latter college years

moving adjacently,,, driving wise they do love to go nyoom

but also like the freedom??? to just go wherever???? they love it. absolutely iconic.

am imagining some of them just going off for an impromptu picnic by a hill or smth right outside of town

yes i am soft for the squad bonding, sue me

there's lots of bread, cheeses, grapes and wine packed for them. absolute picnic feasts my beloved

and not to mention helene baking cookies for those trips and going all out :)

oh no not me once again thinking abt my irl bestie squad doing this again bc i miss them :((((((

but anywayssss

they go to the local superstore right after, fucking around while buying groceries

like helene hoarding stuff in the sweets aisle, while cleo pries her off the shelves

maría @ the spice aisle to restock on her own spices bc while she may not cook for the squad, she does make portions for herself

(and occasionally helene, who loves sneaking a bite out even if it makes her cry a whole lot)

abdul, rémy and domi absolutely looking for the best ingredients while esme has the list for the week's dishes

zhu on the snacks aisle himself, buying for himself and kamille and calliope's study group :)

...and as well as them filming general shennanigans that may or may not be posted to tiktok right after

bc one of them definitely had a vine back then and now moved to the hellsite reboot--

oh man now i have to write abt social media 😔😩

.....IN PART 3 ✌😌

sike

anyways yeehaw am soft and i just wanna. draw a picnic with them rn. LIKE BITCh the yearning. can YOU believe???

.......might be too influenced by Karolina Zebrowska's Emma inspired picnic but u know what, im valid and i want it. im gonna go get it :)

[Part 1] [Part 2]

[zodiyack]

A Big Brother’s Duty

Requested by @beth-winchester21: Hi please can I request a shelby sister reader imagine where i ask to go to a party with my friends and the boys say know so I sneak out to the party and get drunk and the girls (esme,ada,polly,gina,linda and grace) tell the boys I snuck out and they come and find me but I hide with my boyfriend and they catch us making out and get mad and embarrass me infront of everyone thanks xx

Pairing: Shelby & Gray family + Shelby!reader (No romance)

Warnings: Swearing, smol angst, alcohol mentions, bit o vomit

Note: Unfortunately, I cannot include all the girls for reasons that follow the show. To avoid spoilers for anyone who has yet to watch the show, neither Esme or Grace would be in the same fic as Gina due to deaths and actions throughout the show, so I didn’t include Gina in this. And it might be a bit different from what you wanted, but it was the best I could do. I hope that’s alright! Also the boys embarrassing the reader part of your request is accurate in my opinion, take Finn being left alone with the girls for example 😳😂

Side note, your boyfriend’s name is George because- idk... okay maybe i thought of another equally as amazing british fandom oops

Taglist: @matth1w @redspaceace @simonsbluee, @peakysputain​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

She clung to the bed sheets as tight as she could. Her calculations were a tad...off. To think, she wouldn’t be in this situation had her brothers been even a little more or less accepting of the fact that their “baby sister” was no longer a child. She was eighteen, a year younger than her brother Finn, yet she had less privileges than he did when he was thirteen.

Despite her brothers’, in her opinion, painfully obvious acts of favoritism, she was doing alright. Went on a date with her beloved, got caught by three very unhappy Shelby boys, was invited to a party, was banned from said party by the same pissed brothers- what was there not to love?

She knew as soon as Thomas offered letting his family stay with him and Grace for the night that it was a trap.

Y/n was just getting ready for the party when Polly walked in. She gave her niece words of advice, but Y/n brushed them off without a second thought. “There’s no use in getting ready, Y/n/n, the boys’ll stop you before you can even make it out this room.” She was speaking the truth, and Y/n realized that soon.

Y/n stomped back up the stairs and back into the guest room, where Grace sat. She smiled apologetically at Y/n and told her to forgive her brothers, as they were only being big brothers. The older woman felt bad for Y/n, but understood the protectiveness, as she felt the same feeling over the girl herself; to guide her and keep her from harm and evil. She left, leaving Y/n by herself.

And that’s how she got where she was now.

Dangling from the sheets that belonged to the guest bed, not enough cloth to get her safely to the ground without multiple risks. Noise, harm, potential death, she couldn’t risk it. But she couldn’t quite climb back up the warm fabric, especially not with her now sweaty palms.

“You sure you’re as good with numbers as you say you are?” The voice below her caused her to panic, grip slipping for a second before she clung to the sheet harder.

She looked down, expecting one of her brothers or cousin, but the color returned to her face when she saw someone she was not expecting. “George!”

“Let go, I’ll catch you.” The unsure look on her face washed away after he added, “I promise, Y/n/n.”

George caught her, staying true to his vow, and spun her around before setting her down and kissing her softly. “Shall we be going, milady?”

“Now now, Georgie, there are no needs for formalities. Please, call me Y/n/n.”

“Whatever makes you happy, dearest.” They broke into hushed chortles of laughter, running off of Tommy’s property and in the direction of the party, far from the home of Mr. and Mrs. Shelby.

Unbeknownst to the couple, Ada sat at her window, watching them leave and reporting to Polly, who reported to Thomas. Ada only agreed because similar events happened with Freddie and her. 

Sure, Freddie was only chased out of Birmingham, temporarily, but she knew her little sister would’ve been heartbroken if her beloved had been as well. Besides, Freddie and Ada were only sneaking around in his home, not a party with strangers. 

Knowing the Shelby name, as she once, and still, was burdened with it, her sister could easily be in danger. It wasn’t likely, but she didn’t want to take the chance. She’d rather be hated by the younger girl than have her be in a grave next to Freddie Thorne’s.

The boys set out, entering the unfamiliar building with determination visible in their eyes. Arthur was the first to speak, making their presence known all while unintentionally causing the party to quiet and still with fear and nervousness.

“Could anybody point us in the direction of Y/n Shelby?” No responses came, everyone still wide eyed due to the presence of the three infamous blinders. “No one? Well, lucky me! I get to pick which one of you bastards tells me where our sister is, alright?”

Some gulps sounded throughout the room. All eyes, if they weren’t before, were now on the brothers.

“You, boy. Have you seen her? About, yay-high,” he held his hand to his sister’s height, “lightweight, not too nice of a drunk? Probably accompanied by a scrawny red-head?”

“Oh! Yeeeeeah, you’re lookin’ for George and uh- Y-Y-Y/n, yeah, she’s uh- in there or something.” One of the younger folks drunkenly fessed up the Shelby sister’s location, earning a sarcastic grin from Arthur and a pat on the back.

“Thanks mate. Enjoy your drink.” The room was still staring. “Well, get on with your lives! Don’t let us stop your partying!” He grunted loudly as his tone changed from calm and kind to agitated.

He received a nod from Tommy, then kicked the door open. Y/n parted from the boy next to her, looking at her brothers with annoyance that slowly shifted to pure horror as she realized just who the people standing at the door-frame were.

“We’ve-only-had-one-drink-I-swear!” Y/n slapped her lover’s chest, his rushed choice of words for the situation clearly not making her feel any better. “Um- I mean.. shit...”

“Yeah, ‘Shit’’s right boy.”

“For fucks sake, could you please for once not murder our dates? Ada and I can never fucking breathe with you controlling our lives! News flash, I’m-” she paused. “I’m...”

John teased his sister, mischievous smile shining brightly. “You’re what? Spit it out, Y/n!”

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Before her brothers could react, she hunched over and poured her guts over Tommy’s shoes. “Fuck-”

“Oh you’re gonna get it now, Y/n/n.” John chuckled into his hand, face red like Arthur’s. They both left the room as quick as they could, aware of Tommy’s temper more than what they would call comfortable. 

The vomit would have one of two reactions. Either caring brother mode, or it’d set fire to the fuse of the bomb sitting atop Tommy’s rage.

He lifted his younger sister, shooting a glare at George as he did so. Tommy walked with her out of the room. She smiled, maybe his reaction wouldn’t be so bad after all. Looks like Caring-brother-side won!

However, it’s not wise to assume. Thomas shouted for the attention of the people in the home once more. “You see, us Shelby’s, we drink, and we do it well. However, it seems this little Shelby couldn’t keep it together. Not even after one drink.”

The crowed erupted into laughter, growing louder as a frown took place on Y/n’s lips. “That’s not necessary Tommy-”

“Yes, but neither was introducing your insides to my shoes, dear sister. Besides, I’m just doing my duty as your big brother! Perhaps this was too extreme for you. Would sitting at the kiddie table and drinking juice with Karl be more your level?”

More laughter sounded. The flush of embarrassment reddened her face and quickened her heart beat.

“One drink was far too much for her, obviously. What a shame.”

He smirked at his little sister before finally walking outside. “Learned your lesson, or should I go back in there?” he drawled teasingly.

“Please, for the love of all that is holy, take me home already.” Y/n muttered, the uneasiness more obvious in her voice. He didn’t move. “Yes, Thomas, I’ve learned my lesson. Please, just-”

“Alright, but you’re washing these in the morning, alright little sis?”

“Yeah yeah yeah, whatever will get me home faster.”