#while also being heavily aro-ace

[theswedishpajas]

I’ve been making some choices in-game for the sake of accuracy to me irl, but they’ve started to catch up with me mentally ✌️✌️✌️

We’re working on it though, just gotta keep at it and learn how to stop myself more in the future 😤

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi! I know very little about QPRs and I was wondering, what is it like?

I've shared about it several times before but... It's a big relief more than anything. It's not something I could define easily, but it sort of brings me a solution to be left alone in a world where people seem somehow obsessed to put everyone in pairs for some reason – while at the same time never risking to dive into something I feel icky about like sex, or plain don't understand like romance.

It's just great to be able to hold hands with someone, cuddle with someone, roast movies with someone, have pet names with someone, and know they're perfectly content with the way you are together, all chill like this, without "catching feelings" for you or whatever. (God that's such a weird expression. So many heavily romance-coded expressions are so broad for something so specific, it weirds me out.)

People are gonna assume things about you because let's face it, most people probably don't get it, but it doesn't matter – plus, some actually do anyway, or still don't get it BUT also have the decency not to assume things, and that's pretty great.

And it's a great relief from the fear of abandonment that being aro-ace makes me feel – because when you're aro-ace and friendship is like the highest possible level of human distinction you feel, but it's not for other people, you just know you're always gonna be naturally put in the background of people's lives as soon as they get a romantic lover/sexual partner and possibly kids. You're always gonna come AT LEAST second and be left behind in a way. Having a queer platonic partner is having someone who agrees to keep you company and not let you feel lonely, while not putting you in the dead center of their life or on top of a scale of value, because they know THAT wouldn't feel right to you either.

It's letting me be myself, and be happy, and be comforted, without having to make compromises on my very identity. It ticks a lot of boxes for me in a way I didn't think could exist for my whole life until then.

...At least that's my experience of it, of course it's a very personal thing

[sinnabum45]

Kiss? 😳

[Image description: monotoned comic of Ace Attorney characters, Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth. First panel, Phoenix is holding Miles's face while leaning in to kiss him. Miles is unaware of what Phoenix is doing. Second panel, Miles quickly turns away. Phoenix is shocked and a tear is in his eye. Third panel, Miles is looking away from Phoenix and blushing. Phoenix notices and is shocked. Fourth panel, Phoenix is holding Miles's right wrist and blushing while smiling. Miles is turned away with his left fist in front of his face. He is flustered and blushing heavily.

Second image description: Doodle of Phoenix and Miles with an "x" to indicate that they're being shipped. Their names are under their heads. Under Phoenix, text reads "Bi-romantic + Ace". Under Miles, text reads "Aro + Ace". Below text reads, "HC: They can spend months away from each other and be perfectly fine. Most of their time together is spent by just hanging out and maybe cuddling. Phoenix is more open to being intimate/affectionate than Miles. Still a rare occurrence tho." End description.]

Links to help Palestine and other resources! 🇵🇸

[Plain text: Links to help Palestine and other resources! (palestine flag). End plain text.]

Phoenix didn't let Miles know 5 business days ahead of time that he was gonna kiss him, so Miles needed a minute to process LOL 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

And also some HCs for Phoenix and Miles relationship! I imagine that they are both on the ace spectrum and they're completely fine being apart for long periods of time. They do call each other often tho! Kissing (or more 👀) is a rare occurrence for them- they definitely banter or talk about the law way more often. Plus, they always hang out with Trucy! 🥺

[rfswitchart]

Obligatory Huntlow post for ASIAS anniversary

So, I might as well do an anniversary post for Any Sport in a Storm, shouldn't I?

Pop quiz: When did Willow Park fall in love with the Golden Guard? There's a lot of answers you COULD say for this. Maybe she started realizing it when they were in the Human Realm. Maybe she realized when he grabbed her out of the sky or was in the detention pit with him.....

You COULD say that.... but you'd be wrong. She realized it the moment Hunter stood between the Entrails and Darius. "Wait, how do you know that?" you might ask. Simple. Because as a writer of 25 years and someone who has had many crushes and relationships... I know that kind of body language and tone of voice well.

"After all, it will be 52 weeks until 'Caleb's' next day off..." Note the way she SAID that. Sly, coy, definite tongue in cheek. The way she's looking over her shoulder back towards him. I mean COME ON, there's a heart shaped cloud just above her head. Hearts being between the two of them is a big tell for that. It's called THEMING. "Ok, but that's just one moment..." Au contraire, did you think I'd come into this with one example? Remember, I WROTE THIS ALREADY. Now, pop quiz #2: Why did Hunter, who had only ever met Willow ONCE know the difference between the real and fake one?

After all, there is no way he could have known that after just one encounter. You can not determine a person's entire personality based on a sole encounter, no matter how much of an impression it left on you. The answer, again, is simple...

Because they had been talking over Penstagram since ASIAS. Probably took a while due to Hunter not being used to typing and stuff, but I cannot imagine they weren't talking since that night. It also explains why Willow trusted him so easily during the scout invasion of Hexside. Because it couldn't JUST be the breathing technique that swayed her. After all, Hunter had lied and betrayed her and her friends before.

...Again with the hearts. THEMING! Anyway, even if we discredit ASIAS and Labyrinth Runners, or how she totally went to kill Kikimora for trying to hurt 'him' (and stopped when she could have hurt him) and ran after 'him' specifically when 'he' was captured (remember, it was Luz, she just THOUGHT it was Hunter) Fine, let's forget all that then...

Because even if you discount those things, she definitely had a thing for him while they were trapped in the human realm. How do I know? Ok, time to teach you kids about flirting 101.

"I'm gonna borrow that book when you're done with it! ;)" She's not saying "I want to read that" because she's curious about Cosmic Frontier. She is saying "I want to know more about your interests," and saying it with a tone that says "I want to turn this into a date if I can." Even before when she's taking a picture and shutting down Amity's snarking on Hunter's costume, her body language, her words, her tone. They are all suggesting there's more than just 'friendship' there. When it comes to flirting, it is not WHAT you say, it is HOW you say it.

Also, while I'm on the subject. Willow is canonically Pansexual, she is not Ace. Also, she is not Demi/aromantic, she is heavily guarded and has trust issues from years of bullying and nearly everyone looking down on her or using her as emotional support. I have the same problem for the same reasons, and I know for a fact I am not aro. I am guarded because I've been hurt before, same as Willow. Hunter is the only one who ISN'T like that.

He doesn't see her as weak and frail, he doesn't rely on her for stuff, and he wouldn't be caught dead hurting her or looking down on her. That is HIS captain, and he'll be damned if he won't see her as anything short of incredible. And boy did he let her know that, more than once.

Anyways, sorry for rambling. Let's all appreciate these two amazing, powerful witches who really do compliment each other's lives.

[angieblogging]

YELENA BELOVA IS AROACE

so with the Thunderbolts* trailer being leaked, i’ve seem edits and edits of it and many comments about winterwidow and bucky x yelena.

let’s start off with the fact that forcing winterwidow in the mcu is wild, ESPECIALLY with nat’s sister in the movies/enemy in the comics. like bruuuh.

i have a whole ass post that’s linked in my pinned post about why yelena is aroace, she’s heavily implied aro and confirmed ace.

and before i hear that aroace’s can date, qprs are a thing shit. i will actually go on a killing spree yall.

I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK.

1. bucky’s role in the movie is minor as it was stated already before by someone i don’t remember who wtv.

2. yelena is aroace and if you don’t care you’re aphobic

3. qprs and aroaces in relationships are both a thing but yelena shows no interest in a romantic relationship and if they write her in one while keeping her aroace i just know it’s going to be a flop and aroace erasure, just cause aroaces can and do date doesn’t make them allo all of a sudden, they are still aroace just in a relationship, just like bi people in straight relationships aren’t straight and in gay relationships aren’t gay, they are bi, so they have bi experiences still.

Katelena also sucks ass and i hope we get ruthless comic yelena and yall hate her so i can love her and people who ship her can fuck off for once and all.

katelena sucks ass again because yelena is not a lesbian and says so herself.

“oh but comphet” 🥹

bruuuh. if there was a lesbian character who says “i’m bi” and everyone would hc her as a lesbian and say “but many lesbians people think they’re bi before they realise they’re lesbians.” you would be mad, cause that’s just wrong to say.

aroaces are queer they are a part of the lgbtqia

we are valid

we are nor broken

we don’t need romantic relationships or friends or family or a qpr to be fixed or normal

just let us exist i peace and have our little to no rep just like out attraction pls.

[infiniteorangethethird]

hellou hi i have a question if you don't mind :]

so, i have been considering using the loveless label for a while because i relate to y'all heavily but there's one issue. while i don't think i experience love for other people in a way loving folk seem to describe love..? i very much want to BE loved

this is probably tied to my NPD, both the loveless and the needing love parts

basically my question is - can you still be considered a loveless aro(ace, apl etc.) if you desire to be loved (w/o being able to reciprocate)?

sorry if it's a stupid question because maybe it defeats the purpose? idk. i've searched all of the internet and couldn't find anything even close to an answer tho so yeah :')

hi anon, my apologies for taking so long to reply 😭 I don't have an excuse besides a somewhat busy schedule and "I suck at replying at reasonable times sometimes" lmao

Short answer: yes.

Long answer: the good thing about the loveless label is that it's deliberately meant as a very fluid and dynamic label, defined by its user first and foremost. Some people call themselves loveless because they don't feel love at all, while others may use it because the love they feel does not seem to fit societal expectations, or even because they do feel love, but it's not as intense/special/important to them as society deems it to be.

All of these are just examples, but it illustrates the many ways one can interpret this label for themself. If you feel it is a good descriptor of your experiences and you feel comfortable using it for yourself? Go for it! (And welcome to the community <2)

As someone who works to deconstruct the romanticized idea of love, though, I can't help but make a note on the "wanting to be loved" part. (To be clear: this is NOT a jab at you, anon, nor at anyone who might be feeling similar; moreso thoughts and advice you can chew on if you'd like, or ignore if you don't.) In a lot of people's minds, there's a very strong connotation between "love" and "any kind of positive treatment", and as such I think it's worth asking ourselves: what do I mean when I say I want to be loved? Do I want them to feel a certain way about me, to act a certain way around me? What kind of treatment am I expecting of people who say they love me?

Love is a very individual thing, and knowing what you mean by love can help both in figuring out those expectations and in communicating them towards others. It also helps deconstruct the idea that "action made from love = good & action made not of love = bad". People who love you can still hurt you (hence why it's good to know what treatment you want, besides being loved), and people can still act good to you without love being a motivating factor behind it.

I hope this helps!

[mightymelancholy]

Adding on to a previous post since I feel it's more appropriate to explain here. Warning it gets ranty

I feel a lot of people would miss these "this character is xyz" tweets and live streams. I mean Peridot having little to no sexual/romantic attraction didn't even cross my mind as a young kid or even when I got older. Her being aroace had to be pointed at to me by other YouTubers since I didn't have Twitter (not calling it "X") to see the tweet or the book alluding to her to be aroace. Also because her being aroace wouldn't automatically block off from fusion, since fusion represents varying relationships like toxic relationships, romantic, sexual, polyamorous, monogamous, platonic, and familial relationships. It seems weird to imply Peridot can't have strong platonic and familial fusions just because she's aroace. That's an unfortunate stereotype that the Crewniverse fell into.

Also I won't even get into how Alastor's asexual/aroace identity was vaguely referenced by a joke that was very easy to miss.

Go watch this good video by The Ace Couple

And Octavia hardly contributed to Helluva Boss due to her being overshadowed by her neglectful father that sexually coercived a person with a poor education and a daughter, employees, and himself to financially provide for. I'll keep bringing up how terrible of a character Stolas is any chance I get lol But again a character being ace and or aro is an afterthought even to queer creators, but characters like Angel Dust, Fizz, Blitzø, Ozzie, and Stolas can mention how gay they are. There's nothing inherently wrong with sexual humor it is just that the writers of Hazbin and Helluva think overusing it is funny.

Full Moon was so bad for this 😭 Like making fun of sex toys by having the Cherubs think there torture devices isn't that funny and since they're intentionally or not making fun of people who use them. Like making fun of sex toys and BDSM is hardly funny anymore and really wasn't before at least in the ways some people did it so childishly. The people that participate in those things already get stigmatized enough, why is the show using it as a punchline??

It's just weird and kinda fetishy that the writers depict the prominent gay male characters in the show as extremely sexual people, while asexuals and aromantics can't even mention their orientation. The show uses the word gay or other similar words a good amount of times but only says ace ONCE in Hazbin Hotel that could easily go over someone's head. If people have to go looking for evidence and confirmation outside the show proper then that's not what I'd call good representation. What if platforms get taken down or the posts get removed for whatever reason, then that PROOF of the characters sexuality is gone.

Point is add more characters that are explicitly or heavily implied to be ace and or aro. This shouldn't be hard to make diverse characters important that are also their own person while not ignoring their sexual and romantic orientation. If a character can say they're gay/lesbian/bisexual etc. and like sex with pride, then why can't an ace/aro character.

[dunmeshi-darlings]

Do you happen to have any head canons for characters sexualities?

Indeed I do have a few personal thoughts on each characters sexuality. Some of them a bit divisive

Laios - Pansexual I feel like laios wouldn't care about his partner's gender It's definitely more a personality thing for him.

Marcille - Bisexual but has a HEAVY preference for woman. Here's my first bit of difference from popular fanon. I believe marcille is bisexual due to the succubus arc. No shame for the lesbian marcille people, just not for me personally.

Chilchuck - Bisexual but doesn't realize it. One of those "what? Everyone's had a same sex attraction before" or "what? Some guys are just incredibly hot" situation. The one that doesn't realize they are bisexual and just think that is normal.

Senshi - I personally view him as asexual, though not sex repulsed. He doesn't have negative views or feelings towards sex. Simply that it's more of a whatever situation and doesn't feel strongly about it. Would rather be cooking.

Izutsumi - Demisexual. This one is my biggest disagreement with fanon as while I fully respect and support people that view her as aro ace. I just personally view her as Demisexual and that she can have sexual feelings for a person if she is deeply connected to them romantically.

Falin - pansexual like her brother, but has a preference for woman (blushes heavily seeing marcille naked in the shower, and also called shuro attractive). Again it's more personality than anything.

Some Bonuses

kabru - Gay, I can't see kabru as being anything besides being gay. Especially with how he interacted with laios but most importantly how he interacted with Mithrun. (I personally like them together)

Mithrun - bisexual, but the demons influence fucked with his desires so it's hard to fully pin down what I would consider him.

Shuro - Demisexual, with how he fell for falin after knowing her for awhile and relating to her in such a way when she was admiring the caterpillar. I feel like he is like izutsumi in that he would be into a person sexually only after knowing them for awhile.

Namari - lesbian, look at her. The woman longingly stares at the Kikis legs. She is incredibly lesbian.

[bucksboobs]

Curious about your hcs for 911 characters sexualities? Like tbh the only character I can see as fully straight.... maybe Athena? Everyone else is at least a lil fruity (love hc of aro/ace!Ravi tbh, so done with 118 hijinks)

So as much as I joke about Buck 1.0 wanting to seduce Bobby, I do actually see him (and Athena) as one hundo percent straight. Basically the only straight people in LA.

Chimney and Maddie have such strong bi4bi energy that I can’t help but read them as both being a little bit bisexual and Chimney having had some hookups with guys pre-Tatiana. Maddie’s never explored her attraction to women much in practice, since she went from Doug to Howie pretty quick but being with Howie helped her better understand it, which is why she teases Buck so much about his boy crushes and also why her best friend is Josh (gays flock together)

Lucy is so bisexual, Lena Bosko is so a lesbian, and Ravi I actually see as bi and being Not Interested in getting involved with the 118’s nonsense is a separate thing. Until he hooked up with Victoria I actually though Albert was gay but bi is fine for my Hanikkar Agenda

I’m not going to contradict any canon LGBT sexualities so we’ll skip over Hen, Karen, Buck, Josh, Tommy, etc.

Now for the controversial part:

Eddie I, personally, hc as gay and deeply, deeply, very deeply in denial about it. I think he dated Shannon because that was what was expected of him (I had a similar experience of being Expected to eventually marry my childhood girl best friend, so like I am aware I’m projecting a little.) and while he has romanticized that relationship to Hell, Heaven, Purgatory, and back, he wasn’t really attracted to her physically. In fact I don’t think he really understands what physical attraction is because he’s so heavily compartmentalized his attraction to men that he’s unaware of it even when it does happen. He hangs out with Tommy ringside and does Muay Thai with him shirtless and never questions the way his heart speeds up or his palms sweat because to him it’s just the excitement of making a new friend. In fact I have a lot of headcanons about how he views sex as his Husbandly Duty, as a chore that he has to do to maintain relationships, and that once he finally breaks through the layers and layers of repression, learning to love sex (with men) and be excited about it will be a magical and healing experience for him. Obviously that’s a very specific interpretation of the character but it’s my personal opinion.

[mommyclaws]

look as a lesbian I don’t get why it’s so awful to just want lesbian spaces?? We as queer people all have different experiences and we can have smaller spaces while still embracing the whole community.

Lesbians go through different experiences than bi non-men do. That DOES NOT mean “we suffer more” or whatever because I hate the whole oppression olympics shit. We are not attracted to men neither sexually nor romantically, and that’s what makes us oppressed in this heteronormative world. We go through harassment, corrective rape, violence, and conversion “therapy” because we are homosexual. If my dad ever found out I was exclusively attracted to women I would get kicked out. Why is it suddenly so awful and “gatekeepy” to ask us to have our own spaces? We still have sapphic spaces! We even have bi spaces and pan spaces! Heck, I see gay non-women are allowed to have their own spaces!

It’s harmful to be treated as a monolith. I’m not attracted to men, and saying im an “exclusionist” for this is lesbophobic. I’m not evil for being exclusively attracted to non-men. I’m not evil for saying we should have our own spaces while we’d still have sapphic spaces!

Words have meanings, and the lesbian label is important to me, for all of its history and all of my struggles. I’m tired of us all being seen as “big mean lesbians who hate men” so so much. It reeks of misogyny to me.

I am heavily disappointed, and I ask everyone to please understand why bi lesbians are harmful.

I'm disappointed you've missed the point of my post. I was talking about the history of different lesbians and sapphics being excluded and hated in our community through generations. The conversation wasn't about bi lesbians specifically, it was about the butches, transfemmes, Pan/Bi, Aro/Ace, nonbinary, and countless other identities that were or ARE still considered not "valid" members of our community at point or another. I was pointing out how this "Bi Lesbian exclusion" is just a repeat of past mistakes and in the retrospective it is rooted in radfem/terf ideology that claims sapphics have to present and feel a certain way to be accepted. I didn’t say anywhere that being attracted to non-men is evil, I didn’t call anyone a “big mean lesbian”. You’re putting words into my mouth. That entire post was about defending sapphic’s right to attraction and expression.

Lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, non cis women and etc can all be oppressed, harassed, hate crimed, rejected by friends/family and other terrible things for their non heteronormative attraction.

Some people are failing to realize these exclusively “one identity spaces" they feel are being threatened don't actually exist in real life. Sure someone can have like, a "nonbinaries only" discord server or a meet up with friends who are all the the same identity. But a majority of queer spaces in real life? They don't have those rules because theres no way to separate queer identities neatly like that- There isn't a need to. You're going to find bisexuals and pansexuals and nonbinaries and trans people and all sorts of other identities at the same lesbian bar, the same sapphic support group, the same circle of friends.

So what exactly are these "spaces" that every other identity has and lesbians supposedly don't? Maybe ask why bisexuals, pansexuals, etc also being in a sapphic space feels so threatening to some in the first place? They have a right to be there as well. We are a community.

A label can be used and defined as whatever the owner of the label is comfortable with! "Lesbian" has always been an umbrella term. It can be a singular identity or it can describe any sapphic experience or it can do lots of things, labels have always been flexible in this way. Someone using the label differently than another person isn't harmful. It's expression.

[aromantic-diaries]

Hi!

I would like to know more about what do you mean when you say (in your pinned post) that you being aro and ace are two different things so you don't use the the sunset flag.

I also partially think the same way about my identity but I'm not sure so I would really appreciate any kind of explanation or added information.

Thank you in advance, and sorry for any grammar errors, English isn't my first language.

To put it simply, while these two things aren't separate for me, I still see them as two different aspects of my identity. First of all, I identify more heavily with aromanticism than I do with asexuality, second of all I experience them differently and separately. The sunset flag is meant to represent those who see their aroace identity as one thing, similarly to how people of other sexualities define and label their own orientation, without the split attraction model involved. (The split attraction model being the idea that one's romantic and sexual orientation can differ)

While I do like the sunset aroace flag in terms of visuals, it's not a flag that I personally identify with. I figured out my aromanticism and my asexuality separately and my experiences with these labels don't have much to do with eachother

[lalaloobzy]

Random aspec fictional character HCs

Matthew Cuthbert (Anne With an E)

Asexual + aromantic

Lived his whole life unmarried like his sister but, unlike Marilla, never had any relationships in the past. Doesn't reciprocate Jeannie's feelings and tells her his love for his adopted daughter (Anne) is the only love he has room for. Was TERRIFIED when Anne tried to set him up with Jeannie.

*(this is specific to AWAE but I think it can apply to book Matthew as well)

Selah Summers (Selah and the Spades)

Asexual + aromantic

Tbh this one might be canon (or at least heavily implied). Never has been in a relationship. Admits to Paloma that she's just never been interested in anyone in a romantic or sexual way.

Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)

Asexual + aromantic

Just doesn't seem remotely interested in romance or sex. Gets grossed out/ annoyed when people kiss in front of him.

*(this is specific to the anime, idk about the manga or live action adaptation)

**(I am not caught up on the anime, this may turn out to be incorrect)

Willie Jack Sampson (Reservation Dogs)

Asexual + aromantic

Never had a love interest or showed attraction in the show (to the best of my knowledge. If she did, I missed it). Also, THIS OUTFIT SPECIFICALLY. Her hoodie is aroace colors and her socks look like a mix of the asexual flag and the aromantic flag.

Lucy Wells (Harlots)

Grey asexual/ greysexual (+possibly aromantic? Maybe demiromantic? I haven't decided yet)

Born into prostitution but HATES sex. Avoids it as much as she can and by the last season finds a way to do her job without having to have sex. The reason I said grey ace is because she DOES seem sexually attracted to Fallon after some time of being with him (I think? I was a little confused about how she felt tbh).

Birdy (Birdy)

Asexual + demiromantic

Everyone in his life thinks it's weird that he's so interested in birds and not girls. Admits to Al he doesn't see the appeal of sex at all. Very reluctant to go to prom with Doris and had no idea what to do when she parked the car and offered him sex. I can see him developing romantic feelings after close friendship (like with Al) which is why I think he's demiromantic.

Bilbo AND Frodo Baggins (The Hobbit/ The Lord of the Rings)

Both asexual (+ maybe demiromantic, though I can also see Bilbo as aro)

Both remained bachelors all their lives. Bilbo lived alone and later with Frodo who was like an adopted son. Frodo lives for a long time with Sam and Sam's wife Rosie. I personally think that Sam and Frodo are in a romantic relationship, while Sam and Rosie are in a sexual relationship. Frodo seems content with this arrangement which is why I believe he's ace.

Ted Buckland (Scrubs)

Asexual

Simply because of the part where Carla says "I don't want any MAN filming me giving birth unless he's completely asexual" and then Ted walks in with a camera and Carla smiles and says "oh hi Ted!". (I think this was a poorly-aged joke about him being "ugly" more than anything but I'm still claiming it). Also when he sings the duet with Gooch and Gooch says "I want to screw you" while Ted says "I want to kiss you.

Fabian Rutter (House of Anubis)

Asexual

He's nerdy and into space (I know this is a stereotype but representation is scarce I take anything I can get... you get it right). Also his relationship with Nina is very innocent and I can't see him developing sexual attraction even when he becomes an adult.

Dirk Gently and Bart Curlish (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency)

Dirk- Asexual

Bart- Aromantic

Neither of them have love interests in the show (although Bart/Ken may have been implied) so this is just how I felt about the characters personally. I think Dirk definitely had a crush on Todd and is gay but I don't think he gets sexual attraction. Bart is the opposite. I can see her developing sexual attractions and feelings but being repulsed by kissing/ dating etc.

*(this is specific to DGHDA, idk about any other versions of these characters)

Anybody feel free to add thoughts and your personal aspec character hcs <3

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi, big fan of your ace and aro art!

Genuine question here: How do you maintain a long distance relationship with your QPP (queerplatonic partner)?

Hey! Thank you so much for the kind words, that means a lot TwT

Regarding your question, apologies for the long shit incoming in advance, I'll probably share way more than what's needed, but anyway:

OK, to be honest, I should mention that I'm used to long-distance in most of the relationships in my life anyway, so that's kinda my bread and butter. I was bullied in my small town schools and later I went on to study foreign languages, so all of that created circumstances that made it natural for me to create real friendships mostly with people online or in foreign countries. I've always been more of a "next country rather than nextdoor" type of person to begin with, and my partner was no exception I guess.

We got to know each other online, so we were sort of used to the bulk of our relationship being online when we decided to be in a QPR. It was my partner's suggestion before we even got to meet IRL, and to be honest I'd never had a romantic or queerplatonic partner before and didn't fully grasp what it meant at the time, but it sounded nice, so I went for it! We met up IRL in 2018, a couple months after that (I was meeting up IRL for the first time with another friend who also happened to live in the area, in retrospect I really appreciate everyone's patience as I imposed a double visit and splitting my time in two between them TwT) and at that time it only cemented how much of a vibe it was.

After that, I was saving to visit them again in 2020, but... Y'know, the shit happened. The US (where my partner lives) enforced a travel ban on my country and several others that lasted until November 2021. It was incredibly hard during those times. We called very often, but since I'd been all riled up on the idea of hugging them again, and I was very affection-deprived because no one was allowed to see anyone or touch anyone (and that was pretty heavily monitored by cops for quite a while in my country), it wasn't enough for me to feel OK. The only way one could travel from a banned coutry to the US was to stay 14 days in a non-banned country and then travel from there – which I ended up doing in mid-2021 because I was basically going nuts. It was pretty damn expensive, but since nothing had been allowed for a while it's not like I'd spent my money on much, so I had savings, and I needed to prove myself that I could do it. We reunited IRL then for a good week. Then, because they'd fairly recently got a job (which meant more income for travel) and because US citizens WERE allowed to travel to banned countries, THEY visited me in September 2021 (and we formally promised to marry each other someday then, so even travel bans couldn't separate us in the future).

Despite all that, come late October 2021 and with no end in sight for the travel ban, I'd completely spiralled into despair over our future again. The travel ban and other restrictions made seeing each other so much harder and it was seriously taking a toll. Despite everything we'd managed that year, at that time, it felt so hard I was having serious self-endangering thoughts for the first time in my life, and I wanted to give up. That lasted about a couple days until I talked about it to them over videocall and heard their words of support and saw their face and got all angry like "fuck no, they can't take that away from me". So, because they're who they are, and because of extra support from some friends which meant a lot, despite everything, we didn't give up.

Now I'm free to travel to them again so honestly? Maintaining a long-distance relationship feels really easy right now. We text every day, videocall at least once a week and send each other care packages with gifts for our birthdays, holidays and special occasions. (Our time zone difference is 9 hours, which is convenient, cus when I wake up they're more or less about to go to bed so we can chat for a bit, when my workday is over theirs hasn't started yet, and when they're having lunch I'm having dinner, so we often share meals and watch stuff together over video calls.) We're both working adults with a stable source of income, which definitely plays into a lot, cus that means we're much more free to save up and make plans to visit each other – and by god ever since 2021 we've been making much more frequent plans, as of today we have 3 meetups more or less planned, one of them coming up this month actually, so that's pretty great^^

I do live in fear of another travel ban coming out of nowhere, so I do hope we can marry someday – though that'll be its own whole can of worms in terms of coming-out and immigration hardships, but we're determined to work through it. We're determined not to be long-distance forever. Kinda sucks that we have to go through something as amatonormative as marriage to achieve that, but also, ehh, y'know what, if that means someday I get to hang out with them in person everyday, it ain't that bad. It's a means to an end. And I guess it's a cute idea in a way.

...Welp that was way too long. tl;dr it's not easy every day. Some circumstances out of your control can really put you through the ringer sometimes. But on the flip side that means you get out of it stronger and the whole thing's kind of a virtuous circle. The more you fight for it, the more precious it is to you, and the more precious it gets to you, the more you want to fight for it. Kinda comes naturally to me at this point, so, I guess, don't make it a chore. It never felt like one to me. It's all a treasure if anything.

[dragonsarecats]

[ Previous anon ]

 I'M SORRY FOR WORDING IT LIKE THAT I played the Golden Deers, some of my favorite queer ship are with Deers and some of my favorite character are among the deers! My favorite deer ship is probably Leonie x Lysithea ( She litteraly say Leonie would make an incredible partner! Why do their support stop at B again?? ) and my otp is Hilda x Edelgard ( do not judge me I have REASONS ). And also, one of my favorite queer headcanon is trans aro-ace Claude! So I genuinely love the Deers as queers!

However, for me the deer and the diverse queer content around them is heavily a fandom thing. When I say the deer are "too straight for me", I meant it for the game directly. Like you have the Black Eagles where not only litteraly every characters is canon queer/has heavily subtext but has also its whole narrative drenched in queer metaphor! You have the Blue Lions where, while there's less "canon queer", you litteraly cannot say most of its members are straight with how heavy the subtext that's barely even subtext anymore is: there's 0 straight explanation for Felix crying more at Dimitri death than his wife, or him dying the same day as Sylvain because they can't live without each other.

But for the Deers... You have Hilda/Marianne and Claude/Lorenz as the most popular one but while their relationship are so fascinating, when you only look only at the game, they feel too platonic? Especially compared to a Dedue/Dimitri ( like a family in private. took up a post at his grave for the most of his days. BURIED BESIDE EACHOTHER ) or a Ferdinand/Hubert ( rare A+ support, with blushing, their own little surname, Ferdinand/Edelgard support changing just to mention Ferdinand drinking coffee ). Otherwise you have Leonie/Lysithea which stop at B. You have Raphael/Ignatz where they decided to just push the relationship to make their ending all about Ignatz with his sister.

Like really, the Deers manage to have less in game queer moment than the Church of Seiros, Rhea aside, of all things! We were so robbed! The rainbow house deserve better. I'm a lesbian and after all my playthrough Verdant Winds was my only route where I had to marry a man, all I wanted was a lavender wedding with Claude while I have a passionate romance with Leonie :(

To sum up: Lysithea and Leonie should kiss, Intelligent Systems are fucking cowards 

For the fandom I'll have to disagree, I think the Deers have a lot a queer content and it's amazing :] My only thing might be how Claude has become the first character you think of when talking about bi fe3h character which is kinda telling how wlw are dismissed in the general fandom, but its better than some people insisting he's totally straigh so eh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

( Also I big agree on Hilda support being gem, she's such a great character and one that's much more complex than given credit for!! )

Oh and I think I disagree with Deers being the more family found-esq ( saying that bc it's a great subject of I discussion and I want to hear more about your opinion on the matter )

The Lions is the family where they all stick together through thick and thin, following Dimitri to hell and back, but their relationship are complexe and not always healthy ( mostly at the beginning with like Dimitri & Felix or Ingrid & Sylvain ).

The Eagles are the found family where a lot of them bitch about each other at first but they end up with deep relationship where they take care for each other and stand together against the world, even sticking together during the time skip ( also because they kinda all killed each other dad ).

The Deers are for me more like an actual close group of friend: their life are not going to revolve around each other like it does with the other houses, but they won't hesitate to come for that 5 years reunion to see the other. It's kinda like you say they're so normal in a good way! They tease each other but they don't hate each other in the way of a Dimitri/Felix, a Caspar/Petra, a Ferdinand/Hubert ( except for Lorenz but like, it's Lorenz ). They won't kill the other dad, but they'll sure as hell support each other like Lorenz and Ignatz or Marianne and Raphael. They might not start a revolution together but they will listen to the other even when it’s total heresy ( Leonie & Claude, such an incredible support :’) ) and help the other to reach their goal… I do agree with you it’s linked to not knowing each other before, but on that, isn’t knowing each other before more of a Lion thing than not knowing being a Deer thing? I don’t know, the BE are kind of a middle ground.

( Sorry for my ramblings- It's so fun talking about the deers )

AA anon thank you for the long ask!! Okay I'm gonna take this point by point under the readmore!

"My favorite deer ship s probably Leonie x Lysithea ( She litteraly say Leonie would make an incredible partner! Why do their support stop at B again?? )"

INCREDIBLY fair and based of you, lol, I read Lysithea as gay and it's 100% because of the support conversations she has with Leonie and Hilda (which to me implies an ADORABLE crush--Lysithea seems to genuinely respect and admire Hilda which is not something you'd expect from like, a surface level reading of their characters).

I'm gonna admit my own bias here in terms of canon text endings--my favorite Lysithea ending is her paired ending with Lorenz. It really reads like a queer platonic relationship to me--I don't really get romantic vibes from either of them (gay as they are) towards each other, but the commitment and care they have for each other genuinely warms my heart. Especially the fact that like, Lorenz is SO determined to ensure Lysithea takes care of herself and the ending doesn't really imply that she dies young (only that her health is delicate/poor) in comparison to others, and she and her family get to live the quiet life they want. Of course, as an aro/ace disabled person, I think it probably hits differently for me than people who aren't just because of the fact that after the most recent time I saw their support chain/got their ending I teared up a bit (and also why I'm now adoring your trans-aro-ace Claude).

ANYWAYS, I agree IS are cowards and that's why Edelgard is the only Lord who can romance both male/female Byleth.

"For the fandom I'll have to disagree, I think the Deers have a lot a queer content and it's amazing :]"

I probably didn't word what I meant completely lol correctly-- it's not that the Deer don't have a lot of queer content, it's just that overall, they have less content in general made for them then the Black Eagles and Blue Lions.

I do ALSO love so much of the queer content made for the Deers! The Three Houses fandom is amazing.

"My only thing might be how Claude has become the first character you think of when talking about bi fe3h character which is kinda telling how wlw are dismissed in the general fandom, but its better than some people insisting he's totally straight so eh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

Okay, so I was kind of dancing around saying this to your last ask but you hit the nail on the head lol. I genuinely think the reason why the Deer might come across as less queer is because the "main ship" for them, so to speak, is the WLW pairing Hilda/Marianne.

Ironically when I think about bi fe3h characters my first thought is consistently Lindhardt?

"Oh and I think I disagree with Deers being the more family found-esq ( saying that bc it's a great subject of I discussion and I want to hear more about your opinion on the matter )

The Lions is the family where they all stick together through thick and thin, following Dimitri to hell and back, but their relationship are complexe and not always healthy ( mostly at the beginning with like Dimitri & Felix or Ingrid & Sylvain ).

The Eagles are the found family where a lot of them bitch about each other at first but they end up with deep relationship where they take care for each other and stand together against the world, even sticking together during the time skip ( also because they kinda all killed each other dad )."

Okay so I definitely agree with you that they're all found family, explicitly in the text lol. What I meant in my statement that they're the most found-family-esq is that you get to see the development of ALL their relationships and becoming that family together on screen.

The Lions (a mess, and I love them), are pretty heavily involved with each other at the beginning of the game. A lot of the intrigue with them is the fact that they all have backstory stuff going on with each other (save for Ashe, I think, but we kill his dad on screen so). Mercedes and Annette went to Sorcery School together, Felix/Sylvain/Dimitri/Ingrid are all childhood friends with intense complications, and the trauma and deliberate kindness that brought together Dimitri and Dedue makes me emotional.

Similarly to them, the Black Eagles all have a history with each other (save for Dorothea) as well. There's the insane and amazing devotion between Edelgard and Hubert, Lindhardt and Caspar's childhood friendship, the onesided rivalry going on between Ferdinand and Edelgard since they were kids and Hubert's judgement of Ferdinand for it. Petra and Bernadetta, technically don't have pre-established relationships with the others, but in ways that are deliberately intense. Petra is blatantly a political hostage in the Academy Era in a way that really informs her relationship with Edelgard and Hubert even before they get to know her. Additionally Bernadetta's isolation creates a kind of infamy between her and the other nobles.

The Golden Deer, on the other hand, don't really have as many intense bonds going in (and thus, in my opinion, makes it easier for Byleth to integrate amongst them as an eventual equal). There's the preestablished dynamic of Lorenz being suspicious of and wanting to best Claude, but it's a recently developed dynamic, as Claude only appeared a year ago. This would be a bigger personal issue if he was leading a house like the Blue Lions or the Black Eagles (noble heavy as they are), but it's barely an issue in the Deer and not just because of the commoners. Hilda, Lorenz, Lysithea, and Marianne are not close. In all his supports with the three of them, Lorenz is the one reaching out because of his belief that their time in the Academy should be used to form better and closer connections with other nobles. There is nothing to imply that there was any substance to their pre-existing relationships. The only two who have anything to their relationship before the game starts, are Raph and Iganatz, who haven't spoken in years, mostly due to guilt on Ignatz's behalf for what happened to Raphael's family.

So as a result, you get to see the bonds being formed and deepened with the Golden Deer from scrap. Obviously some development happens off screen during the time skip, but other than that the Deer's found family forms and develops completely on screen, which is why I think it's the most found family-esq of the three.

In fact, it's a huge part of Claude's story. It's something you don't really notice in his route, but it's really clear when you don't pick him. While Edelgard and Dimitri kind of can't function and literally can't without Byleth's support, Claude has probably the highest survivability rate when you don't choose him of any character save technically Marianne. He survives the Blue Lions route, the Black Eagles route (if you spare him), and is implied to have survived the Silver Snow route. When he doesn't have Byleth, he still survives, so not choosing him isn't as dramatic. But it's easy to see that without Byleth as a teacher, he doesn't open up enough to the Deer. Dimitri and Edelgard have assured loyalty from their houses (even Ferdie and Felix) becuase of these pre-established relationships and positions, but Claude has to earn it. That's why Hilda, despite being his vassal, is recruit-able so long as you don't choose Black Eagles (the only route where he can die). Without Byleth, although the Deer do grow close, they don't do it as quick or as closely as they do with the Professor. Claude is a character who's never been able to truly rely on others, even if they care about him, and being able to rely on Byleth allows him to open up and rely on the Deer and truly trust them. I mean, Claude's two most relied upon people in the Deer (as seen in 3Hopes when he goes against Dimitri) are Hilda and Lorenz. I don't think people talk enough about how insane it is that Claude trusts Hilda Goneril with his life, considering he's an Alymran prince.

That's also why I think the Deer are so good for Byleth. I don't think any of the other route's are bad for Byleth at all, but I think the deer provide something to Byleth that neither the Lions or the Eagles can bring to her: a single of equivalency. Byleth is only slightly older than her students in the Academy Era and is in fact younger than most of them in the War Era, and yet it's only really with the Deer that she feels like she's amongst peers (whether it be because of the commoner/noble ratio or that she's as much of a stranger to them as they are to each other.) I mean, Claude is literally the only character who doesn't call refer to her by her Profession.

Anyways, TLDR: I think they're the most found family because a huge part of the Golden Deer route is them getting to know and love each other from scratch, and being a found family is a much bigger thematic aspect for them then it is for the other two houses.

"However, for me the deer and the diverse queer content around them is heavily a fandom thing. When I say the deer are "too straight for me", I meant it for the game directly. Like you have the Black Eagles where not only litteraly every characters is canon queer/has heavily subtext but has also its whole narrative drenched in queer metaphor! You have the Blue Lions where, while there's less "canon queer", you litteraly cannot say most of its members are straight with how heavy the subtext that's barely even subtext anymore is: there's 0 straight explanation for Felix crying more at Dimitri death than his wife, or him dying the same day as Sylvain because they can't live without each other."

"But for the Deers… You have Hilda/Marianne and Claude/Lorenz as the most popular one but while their relationship are so fascinating, when you only look only at the game, they feel too platonic? Especially compared to a Dedue/Dimitri ( like a family in private. took up a post at his grave for the most of his days. BURIED BESIDE EACHOTHER ) or a Ferdinand/Hubert ( rare A+ support, with blushing, their own little surname, Ferdinand/Edelgard support changing just to mention Ferdinand drinking coffee ). Otherwise you have Leonie/Lysithea which stop at B. You have Raphael/Ignatz where they decided to just push the relationship to make their ending all about Ignatz with his sister."

Okay, so I definitely agree with you that those things are canon queer and subtext, and that it's a shame they don't push the Raphael/Ignatz stuff and focus on Ignatz and Raph's sister (which is admittedly adorable to me).

Again, I'm aro/ace, so for me, queerness doesn't necessarily require romance as a prerequisite? Which is why I like Lorenz and Lysithea's ending, lol.

Hilda/Marianne in no way reads platonic to me, so I really disagree with you there. Hilda treats Marianne completely differently to how she treats everyone else in game. Their support chain is focused on how Hilda, who manipulates her way out of doing anything she doesn't want to, chooses to consistently over and over again do things for Marianne that she can't, and refuses to let Marianne feel bad over it. She leverages this into Marianne buying her pastries and them having a lunch date together. Their A support consists of Marianne questioning their regular dynamic of doing this and Hilda reassuring that she enjoys it so much she'd feel odd if it changed. They compliment each other to the point where Hilda starts to get a little flustered, and Hilda's even able to poke fun a little at Marianne and get Marianne to poke fun at her back. Marianne laughs at Hilda, and Hilda textually thinks it's adorable and can't even get mad at it because it's so cute. Marianne seems so genuinely happy and herself (even in negative ways!) with Hilda, and can rely on her in a way that doesn't make her feel inadequate or a burden.

I can understand as being able to view Claude/Lorenz as platonic, especially since I will never diverge from my Claude/Byleth endings, but I think they can also still be read pretty textually clear and potentially romantic. Part of this is Lorenz, who just, is very clearly gay to me? But again, part of this is the fact that a huge part of the Lorenz/Claude dynamic is them being viewed textually as equals, which is something that will and can never happen with Edelgard/Dimitri and their rival characters. Their support chain is all about getting to know and respect each other as they grow to care for one another, and while it isn't explicitly as romantic as Marianne/Hilda, I think their paired ending really speaks a lot for itself, in that Claude trusts Lorenz to be Fodlan's face of diplomacy towards Almyra. He trusts Lorenz to help him achieve his dream in the most direct way possible, something I think you can absolutely compare to his relationship with Byleth in their S-Support. Additionally about their support chain, their A-support really is about affirming to the player how close they've become, how fond they are of each other, and how neither of them can imagine the future of Fodlan without the other one in it. While there isn't a lot of direct text between Claude/Lorenz, I think there is absolutely enough subtext that you could read them romantically, especially from Lorenz's POV. The hard thing with this game is that each character needs to be able to be paired with Byleth, so they can never be textually obviously/blatantly in love with another character save for Byleth until their paired ending, and I think that absolutely holds doubly true for Lord characters, which is why I think Claude/Lorenz relies more on subtext.

I do think it's a shame that Lysithea doesn't have any A supports with women in her own house. Leonie like you mentioned is an adorable one, and I think Lysithea has a huge crush on Hilda in the ones with her, and there is definite potential in the one she has with Marianne (which in my opinion is a kinder, more gentle version of her supports with Ignatz).

I also think there's a few other support chains where there is a queer romance blossoming, they just don't get the chance to have an ending. A big one for me, personally, that I think deserved more, is Ignatz and Lorenz. I also think Leonie and Marianne's support chain was very cute, and deserved an A.

This is kind of what I was saying when I answered your last ask, I think, wherein the Deer have queer romance, but because the don't have a big blow up mlm ship (Claude is more often shipped with Dimitri + a lot of people aren't as fond of Lorenz as I think they should be lol), they kind of get sidelined as their big queer ship is WLW. And unfortunately in most fandoms, wlw ships are rarely as popular or have as much pushing force.

And also, I think, that the deer are queer without having as much romance. Their romantic pairings are far less set in store then the other two houses, I think, and part of that is because a lot of their endings read really queer platonic to me. Plus, a lot of the heavy romance lifting in the explicit text for a lot of supports tends to happen in the A/A+ region, and a several of the wlw/mlm golden deer pairings only go to B, which I think is a shame and forces them to rely more on subtext.

Additionally, because they're not the revolutionary or chivalry aligned House, a lot of their endings aren't written as...dramatically? Like I adore Felix/Sylvain to death (I have a print of them hanging next to my Claude one lol), but their childhood promise is very much the product of living in Faergus, similarly to how Hubert and Ferdinand's relationship is defined by them living in the Empire. I think because the Alliance politics are far less dramatic (or are far more dramatic in a visibly different way) the subtext for Claude and Lorenz's Romeo/Juliet for politics thing doesn't come across as huge as two characters who promised to die with each other as kids and keep it (insane I love them).

That's why in my original post I talk about loving how normal the Deer are, and I think ultimately a part of that comes from their setting: the Alliance. In my first play through, I specifically chose having my loyalties lie (in the initial meeting with the Lords) with the Alliance, because to me, someone who had no real context for the game, the Alliance was the closest thing to a democracy from what little we'd hard of each nation. Politics informs almost every aspect of the Golden Deer; sure it's played for angst and importance in the other two routes (Duscur/Sylvain's Crest Complex/Felix's problem with the chivalry system for the Blue Lions--with the latter two never being things that are textually resolved in the Kingdom's government--and Enbarr/those who Slither in the Dark for the Black Eagles), but Claude actually has to balance what other lords want in the War phase, and it's his ability to be so good at politicking that enables the Alliance to consistently remain neutral in the war. So a lot of the subtext stuff comes to fruition through the realm of politics in a way it doesn't entirely through the other two, if that makes sense. It's a huge gesture of love that Claude can trust Lorenz with his dream.

"The Deers are for me more like an actual close group of friend: their life are not going to revolve around each other like it does with the other houses, but they won't hesitate to come for that 5 years reunion to see the other. It's kinda like you say they're so normal in a good way! They tease each other but they don't hate each other in the way of a Dimitri/Felix, a Caspar/Petra, a Ferdinand/Hubert ( except for Lorenz but like, it's Lorenz ). They won't kill the other dad, but they'll sure as hell support each other like Lorenz and Ignatz or Marianne and Raphael. They might not start a revolution together but they will listen to the other even when it’s total heresy ( Leonie & Claude, such an incredible support :’) ) and help the other to reach their goal… I do agree with you it’s linked to not knowing each other before, but on that, isn’t knowing each other before more of a Lion thing than not knowing being a Deer thing? I don’t know, the BE are kind of a middle ground."

I both agree and disagree with what you've said here!

I think it's true, that in any route where you don't choose Byleth, the Deer are textually viewed much more as just close friends rather then found family, whereas I think if you chose their route they end up much closer (as I said above). I think the Black Eagles and Blue Lions have their lives, by nature, revolve around each other since they're literally all Nobles and thus part of the governning system of this world (with the exception of Dorothea). I think the Golden Deer have to make it a much more deliberate choice, and I do think it's something they do after the War in any route (assuming the majority of them have been allowed to live) because that sort of thing just forms a life long bond between people that's hard to shake without deliberate effort I can't imagine any of them truly wanting to put in.

They are normal! None of them hate each other! They don't have that sort of intensity, but they do have a lot of complexity that lends itself very well to found family. I think a big part of that complexity lends itself to the lack of killing (although I don't really think any of their parents deserve to be killed whether they've alive or dead?). The fact that Lorenz's dad has Claude's uncle killed (which when combined with Hilda, again, being a fucking Goneril is INSANE my man's two best friends are people who have reason to kill him for BOTH SIDES OF HIS ANCESTRY) and thus gets Raph's parents killed is something truly heartbreaking, and yet I think it's because there's no violence amongst each other or against the previous generation that characters like Claude (has had violence perpetuated against him for his heritage), Marianne (has had implied violence perpetuated against her for her crest), and Lysithea (has had violence perpetuated against her to get her second crest) are able to feel safe amongst the Deer. Violence is an intense choice, but I think lack of violence should also be viewed as something deliberate and chosen, esp. in the world of Three Houses. I mean, throughout Verdant Wind Claude is constantly complaining about the perpetuation of violence caused by the War! He's someone who deliberately chooses direct harm reduction. Although, to in fact speak of violence, I think it's absolutely insane that Hilda "I refuse to die for my friends" Goneril will willingly die for Claude "DO NOT DIE FOR MY SAKE FLEE PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU RETREAT" von Riegan's sake.

I do think that the Golden Deer are the most similar to a modern queer friend group and thus would be the easiest to make a 1:1 comparison, but again the events of the game do kind of necessitate that they are found family because they go through a war together. Their group dynamics are probably the most influenced by Byleth (Dimitri and his relationships with others while "mad" of course, aside), and it's really hard to make generalizations about them because again, the fact that she is not there to facilitate these close bonds makes it a lot harder for them to be as close as they are before the war as they end up being, although even without Byleth I still think they're exceedingly close. But yes, I agree, they do not live in each other's pockets, which does not make them any less found family, but does, probably, make them healthier in modern context lol.

(As a side note about Byleth and the house leaders: I think what she visibly provides to Edelgard and Dimitri is a lot more obvious than what she provides to Claude. She helps the both of them in maintaining themselves and not loosing themselves to the burden of leadership and trauma. Claude, however, is a character who has been handling both of those things alone, and we are shown that he is capable of handling them alone without massive cracks appearing in Three Houses. Claude does not need Byleth to live, as the other two directly do. Byleth gives Claude someone consistent and trustworthy to rely on, which opens him up to being able to do it with the other members of his house far easier then he's able to otherwise.)

Anyways! I think the Golden Deer are very queer, just more subtextually so then the Black Eagles and Blue Lions. I personally view a lot of the straight endings, so to speak, as queerplatonic (again Lorenz/Lysithea and honestly Leonie/Ignatz). Romance is a pretty easy metric to view queer storytelling through, but I don't think I'd see Sylvain as any less of a queer character if he didn't have his paired ending with Felix because of how his story is written. In a similar way, I think characters like Ignatz (wanted to be a painter, but it's not what his family wants for him; yearns to be creative and is self conscious about people thinking it'll interfere in his duties and has to learn to accept himself and his true dreams) and Marianne (sees herself as a monster that other people won't accept if they knew the true her and what she's hiding) are also queer without needing to be in romances, which is why the fandom gets a lot out of them subtextually.

Acceptance, I think, can be viewed as a very queer theme, and I think it's a prominent one within the Deer.

[dr-lizortecho]

Max Evans a Bisexual Demiromantic Icon

(on Max’s Aro/Ace tendencies within canon)

For Pride this year Max is going under the queer microscope- because his relationship with his sexuality is by far one of the more complex and confusing on the show. This is in part because he is unaware of his queerness to a certain extent as well as the concepts to explain them. This lack of awareness manages to create situations in which he is full of assumptions and incorrectly applies/assumes labels for other queer characters (aka the renown bunker scene from 1x11). It’s Max’s innate queerness, his bisexuality intersecting with aro tendencies, that places him in a unique position to erase the very concept of bisexuality he was exposed to and assume incorrectly that queerness is a universally fixed concept.

Max Evans approaches love and sex as separate commodities that are only incidentally connected. This impacts his understanding of sexuality as a whole since it bisects his understanding of love more closely than his understanding of sex.

As a character Max is depicted as having separate views of romanticism and sex, both concepts being fully detached in his mind and therefore action. This can be seen from his approach to romantic relationships during season one and how they intersect his relationship with sexuality. Max spends a decade after Liz leaves Roswell in love with her. This is depicted not only as a strong connection he has felt since a young age but also as a very real and adult version of love. In addition to this intense love he is heavily implied to not have sought romantic relationships for over a decade while she was away and having no intentions of doing so. This long term romantic abstinence isn’t depicted as a struggle for any other reason then the lack of someone he loves being in his life.

Instead the show uses his lack of romantic attraction as not only a given but a device to depict his inability and infrequency of making initial romantic attraction. For Max his romantic attraction and intent is far removed from his sexual attraction. This can be seen through his dynamic with Jenna and his attempt and inability to view love and sex under the same lense. Max spends the two years of their friendship without feeling any romantic attraction or having any romantic intent- while having a sexual relationship for an unspecified amount of time. This relationship is challenged when he tries and fails to give into the societal expectation of love and sex being blended together. All of Max’s sexual relationships on screen aside from the one with Liz are depicted as being far removed from romanticism and he is even depicted as being incapable of making that connection when he tries in 1x03. This is because for Max romance and sex are opposite commodities that have separate impacts on sexuality. Which can be seen through how he approaches sexuality through the lense of romance versus the lense of desire.

This separation of love and sex creates a situation in which Max’s character views sexuality as a by product of romanticism instead of being connected to sexual desire. Which in turn impacts his understanding of sexuality as a whole and creates the situation in which he can erase his understanding of bisexuality and assume another character’s queer identity matches his own.

This is evident in 1x11 when he assumes Michael’s relationship with his sexuality is also tied to his relationship with romanticism. Max’s struggle isn’t with the concept of sexual desire existing between Michael and Maria, but with the concept of Michael being capable of romantic attraction on multiple accounts at once and his sexual orientation being based on sexual desire instead of romantic attraction. Because not only does Max not doubt Michael’s ability to want sex with women (or his own sexual attraction to men) but he has a foundational understanding and exposure to bisexuality through his religious readings. All to say that Max’s struggle is not with bisexuality or sexual orientation, but with the separate concepts of love and sex. Because his view of sexual orientation isn’t connected to sexual attraction but his aromantic orientation.

Which is how Max is a complex queer character who intersects multiple possible identities within the aro/ace spectrum with a heavy canonical implication of Demi-sexuality and romanticism.

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

My SW hot take is that Din's had three canon love interests: Xi'an (heavily implied they screwed), Omera, and Bo-Katan. And also I've personally never seen anyone say Grogu "needs" a mother, but it's undeniable that Bo did play a mother figure to him in season three.

I'm guessing this is in response to this hot take?

Hey, that's also valid.

A hill I will die on: if they did indeed screw, Din definitely kept the helmet on with Xi'an.

As I said, I'm ambivalent about Din having a partner in canon. I personally like DinLuke, but I harbor no ill will towards any other Din ships. I also think it's totally fine to read Din as Aro/Ace/AroAce, or simply disinterested in romance/sex.

I hate to basically go "Source: Trust Me Bro" but I have encountered the "Grogu needs a mother so they can be a real family" attitude, both online and in real life.

(But that's fandom, isn't it? One side can be rife with a specific hot take, while the other side has no idea it's even a thing.)

However, that's not to say that everyone who interprets Bo-Katan as being maternal towards Grogu, or who ship DinBo and would love to see her be Grogu's step-mom, is a sexist. She is very motherly to him in S3, and it was cute!

I more specifically get annoyed when I see people (intentionally or not) imply that without a mother/wife figure, the family's not complete. Single Dad Mando and his frog-terrorizing son are a valid family unit!