#which was very fun i think i’m gonna do it like this more
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Hey how are u? I really like your point of view so I want to ask you few things that my brain frequently think about.
I’m pretty sure that sooner or later bbg will be unmasked, so how they will handle this? They created Louis’ public image around this baby. They painted him like the perfect father who obv love a lot his child.
I think that the shitstorm where his fans will throw him in will be bigger than everything. You know what I mean his solo fans paint him like the most loyal person in the world who trust his fans a lot and would never betray them. So I’m quite sure that they will start to throw shit on him, plus they’re so obsessed over this poor baby and I see a lot of them saying that if louis is not the father they will leave him cause he is just a gross person who lies to fans.
So, how will they managed it without throw him into a very big shitstorm? Plus when it will happen definitely all will be connect to the Larry situation so: when they do it, will he do also a coming out?
I don’t see it happen without a coming out, because the speculation would be so much bigger than ever and everyone would start saying that Larries were right since the beginning and that he’s a horrible person using a child…
I don’t know I don’t see a easy happy ending :(
okie dokie anon, im gonna answer this in the best way I know how, and tag it a little differently to usual so everyone knows where to find my theories on how they’re gonna end bbg/what’s the best way to end it without ruining louis’ career. anon, welcome to the show sweetcheeks!
After the absolute shit show of a smear campaign that was pushed onto Louis in 2015, of clubbing and being a gross fuckboy taking a million girls home every night, they had to repair said image when they decided this kid was actually gonna be born (in my theory it was Belfast) because to continue on with fuckboy louis when he has a child on the way further down the pregnancy/child is born, it would’ve looked even more fucking worse for one d’s demographic and louis’ image would be irreparable. His image has always hung off family values and long term relationships too, so it’s not super crazy to think “oh, louis has had his fun and now it’s serious he’s gonna buckle down and be a great dad because of his upbringing/family values and he’s a wonderful guy” etc, ya know? Plus the vast majority of one d fans at the time were Larries, we saw through the bullshit and we saw this behaviour wasn’t louis. Mgmt were like “ok if we’re actually gonna see this through, if there’s actually gonna be a child in the picture, he’s gonna have to be a present and loving dad”. It just would’ve been too off brand for him to not be. Hell, the whole fuckboy Louis thing was off brand for him, but they started that, and then had to fucking fix it because an actual child was gonna be born into this mess.
Anyway so louis’ buzzing (looks like he’d rather set himself on fire) and we get heaps of baby content on Insta/from B and her clan etc to really bring it home that louis cares about this kid. This kid is his life and he will do everything he can to be there for it because he’s a good guy (which like… it this was real, they would’ve covered up this baby real quick and silenced the mother and that’s the biggest fucking fault they made in my opinion, shit makes no sense). So yeah, fake baby, happy dad, family values. Cool, alright let’s go.
You are very correct in saying they’ve made louis being a dad a major element in his image. He’s pretty private otherwise, but boy does he love this kid! Which if we base this on how it was meant to end in 2016 with a DNA test so he’d be out free, which didn’t happen for a few reasons, the kid is now older and a paternity test should’ve been taken far earlier and louis’ trying to figure out himself in a solo career and working hard on music and it’s all too much. Not to mention he signed his fucking rights away to SC and still had to deal with this all. But I digress. They didn’t end bbg then, and he didn’t want such a scandal to hinder the beginning of his career because that’s what he’d be known for when starting out as a solo artist. “Oh did you hear about that dude from one direction? His kid isn’t actually his! Holy shit!” would just be on repeat anywhere and everywhere and something like that doesn’t really die down that quick in the media. It just would’ve jumped him off the wrong way after dealing with the heartbreak of his mum passing etc., so things are a little chaotic for him to deal with that as well. (Then the bbg contract gets amended and SC gives him publicity with the X Factor etc, but I won’t get into the contracts side of it right now).
Cool cool cool. So. He’s gonna look like a shit dude for chucking this baby in the spotlight if he’s known for ages. Everyone’s gonna hate him for lying to them. He’s gonna lose his fans. He’s not gonna be able to promo himself for a while because he’ll be “devastated”. Now, let’s have a look at how this can end with fan and GP sympathy on his side, and how they can spin this in a good way.
Now, hear me out.
We’ve talked about a few ways, but the best way to dig him out of this shit show, is simply to go down the paternity route. It just is.
Situation 1: louis and b go to court over F. this works perfectly in his current no music or tour timeframe. It keeps him relevant in the papers while he’s off, and also gives him the excuse to grieve or whatever. This is 100% the best way to do it but it drags it out so long.
- Louis, who is now on break, wants to spend more time with his beloved son little lad, and wants to take him away from B for a while to live in the UK with him and his family for an extended holiday/spend some quality time. B is withholding his son from him and he isn’t allowed to be with him for extended periods of time because B doesn’t like his lifestyle (partying, smoking, etc.)
Or
- maybe B decides Louis’ doing really well in his career so she wants more child support money. He’s getting older, more expensive, and this was all louis’ doing. He took B home, he’s also a multi millionaire, he should be paying way more than what he is!
- maybe B gets married or a long term serious boyfriend and he wants to adopt F because louis’ lifestyle doesn’t allow him to be present as much as he wants to.
Or something else ridiculous that they go to court over. In this theory, they need to go to court 100%.
So, they’re in court over whatever, and B goes “hey well I was actually sleeping with someone else around that time too, I want a paternity test” (because she never pushed for one because she saw $$$) and louis takes one and BAM, he’s actually not F’s father. Holy shit.
So why did a multimillionaire famous boyband member in his early 20’s who was clearly loving partying not demand a paternity test early one? Well, he never bothered to ask because he trusted B. They’d actually been seeing each other for longer than initially thought (like some articles mentioned back in the day LOL) but didn’t want to introduce her to the public because he knows 1d fans would eat her alive and the whole Larry thing etc., so he trusts her. He’s also just a really good dude, sees the best in everyone, trusted her and copped it on the chin and said well yeah… im gonna help raise this dude because I’ve always wanted a son and I have big family values and I fucked up. I’m mature. I’m a good example of what women should look for in a man.
So then shit… the fans and GP find out and he cops the public sympathy and everyone feels sorry for him. This is heartbreaking, he loves that kid so much and now he’s found out he’s not really his dad. The fans are devastated, the GP goes “well it’s stupid he didn’t get one earlier on but this is still really awful for him, poor guy. He’s too nice for his own good, and he was just a kid. Maybe he didn’t think about it. He’s so brave to say this. Heart on his sleeve” etc etc like it’s really not hard to make the GP and fans feel bad for you, even tho some folks may think he was an idiot for not getting one earlier on (which like.. that’s how it was meant to end but it was extended), everyone who’s scrutinised bbg has thought the same at some point. So, anyway, you see what I mean here? This situation ends with him looking like just a silly loving trusting guy, with a big heart. Solos will eat that shit up. I promise you. Anyway, F fades into the background and we don’t see any more content of him. He just… disappears. No one’s gonna question that. F isn’t his son, and he wants to give the kid and B privacy now. A classic example of being a good guy.
So like, this situation also upholds the idea that he’s straight. He’s had sex with a woman, it’s just this kid isn’t his. Anyway, sorted, case closed and we alll eventually move on. It does drag it out but my god does it truly spin some sympathy for him. But if he wants it over and done with quick, this wouldn’t be the way.
Situation 2: louis has known for a while, but him and B are really good friends so he’s helped raise F and helped with funds because the dad left and he wanted to be there for the kid. This brings out the lying factor though, but he truly does feel like a dad!!! He knows what it’s like to not have a father figure there, he wants to give the kid a good life, he’s taken on the role of his dad and he has the money to support B and F, so why wouldn’t he? You know, he has family values. So yeah, he wasn’t lying out of hate, and F knew all along he wasn’t his real dad either, but he gave this kid a great life. Anyway, B gets married or whatever, louis goes “im still gonna be there for F but I trust this guy and he loves F and my career is taking off even further and I can’t be there for him all the time and this guy really wants to be a dad, I’ll step back”. This also works well in terms of good guy louis, and he loves F so much. Public and fan sympathy, a little anger towards the lying but truly he’s just did what he could. He helped B out and now F has a strong and fantastic father figure in his life. Sorted, done. This can be done through an Insta live or a post of him and F explaining stuff, and F fades from the picture. Still upholds the sex with women, but he did get a paternity test ages ago, he’s just a good guy. Anyway, that also works.
You also have a spin on the above situation too though, to make it easier for a coming out. Louis and B never had sex. He’s just a long term good friend of hers and took on that role. He’s always been gay/he never fucked her. Having this onto it, really leaves it a bit more open ended. This is really the only kind of solution to say “hey I’ve been with Harry this whole time and bbg wasn’t a stunt” ya know? Still believable, a bit more murky, but if done well it ends it quicker than a court case. Still looks good for him. Plus, he can say how long he was with Harry and that they wanted to keep their relationship private because they were nervous to come out and yeah. Cool. That’s also done.
The fans might be angry about that one, but it still swings it well. I don’t think they’re gonna hate him. He might lose a few but… yeah. He’s always gonna when he comes out anyway. Yeah. The above is two birds one stone.
Situation 3: it was all a stunt. they just reveal absolutely everything. That’s it.
He’ll lose the most fans by doing this, but also… he’ll gain a lot of public sympathy. Whatever way they end bbg, he will be on the side of public and fan sympathy. He’s always gonna end up with some kind of hate when coming out, but so will Harry. It just… is what it is. Harry’s process has just been a lot smoother without a kid tied to him. But with the screaming of how shit the music industry is to artists, this will call a lot of attention to it all. Might actually make a change. But again, the hardest.
Now the thing with all of the above, right, no matter which way they take it, is that bisexuality exists. Also, sexuality can be fluid, so maybe he didnt figure out he was into dudes until later on in life and him and Harry reunited and it just kind of happened. He had to navigate queerness in a space of homophobia. He felt fucking lost as hell, and Harry helped him. Also public and fan sympathy, also works. Doesn’t put them from the beginning though, like situation 2 and 3 could, but yeah. The current conversation about queerness and how things can change is important and big right now. People would understand.
Both Harry and louis (more so louis) will and should expect fan and public hatred for lying and queerness. But it’s just something they’ll have to cop. They come out, go into hiding for a bit, and then put out a statement and they’re just gonna have to expect some hate. Hell, Harry already gets hate for queerbaiting. It just always will be affected.
To your last point, about using a kid, if they unravel everything then they’ll just shove that blame on SC etc, they had no choice! For the other situations, it may be a little scrutinised but yeah. He’s either silly and too trusting in situation 1, or does see F as his kid and is proud of him in situation 2. Those situations above are how I see a smoother end to bbg. They’re kind of the only way I see it ending. So, SC/marketing gods, if you’re watching, or if this is you, consider one of the above please and let’s end it fucking now.
So there you have it. These situations might seem stupid, but he comes out of it the most unscathed (except option 3 but again, sympathy from fans and public about being controlled like puppets). And I think in all those cases a coming out will happen shortly after, they kind of go hand in hand. But also they might let it die down for a while before announcing anything, but yeah. Speculation is gonna happen. They can’t escape everything.
Any questions or if anything doesn’t make sense because I haven’t had a coffee yet, let me knowwwwwww
Thanks for coming to the show!
#anon#answered#bbg#tagging this as#the curtains close on bbg#because people always ask about my theories#hope this clears it up to a degree#they’re always gonna get hate but I reckon they get out of it#somewhat unscathed#if they roll with 1 & 2
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kyoutani, 8F, pspsps please!! (bc i can absolutely see him making that face and you draw him so wonderfully :))
AWWW THANK YOU!!! i’m glad u like my kyoutanis you’re my favorite mutual now <3 i cherished the opportunity to draw him :))
#kyoutani kentarou#is he angry or flustered? experts say: mind your goddamn business watari#tho using desaturated colors is so out of my comfort zone this was so weird to do oml#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#hq fanart#my art#i also tried to make his eyeliner a little more eye bag-y like it is in canon#which was very fun i think i’m gonna do it like this more#ask
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Larchpaw
She/her, 8 moons, cis molly
#Larchpaw#beetleclan#apprentice#clangen#warrior cats oc#kiri’s clangen#warrior#kiri's clangen#Wow i wonder who this mini Berrymurk is. Surely it’s not his one and only daughter#surely him and his daughter don’t have nearly identical sprites save for Larch having a slightly yellower tint and an apprentice pose#But to be so forreal the name Larch is actually really fitting becuase of that becuase larch trees are a conifer that isn’t an evergreen.#their needles turn yellow and fall off in the fall which fits because she’s just a little more yellow than her dad#I also made the pointy parts of her fur point down instead of up like the rest of her family just to show she doesn’t look all that much-#-like her grandma Gravelshock#She’s technically half-clan and her other parent is unknown so I like to think her other parent had droopier fur (though I have no one in-#-particular planned)#Anyways she’s sort of friends/rivals with Swallowpaw (who I’m planning on having as the starting POV for beetleclan) so expect to see and-#-read a lot of her whenever I get to the actual story part#I actually love Larch a lot she’s very cute I’m tempted to do her POV at least sometimes#but Idk#Also I’M FUCKING BACK!!!#can’t say how regular posts will be considering the computer I use to add the border afterwords is Wigging The Fuck Out Constantly and I-#-can barely use it but I’ve got one more cat queued after this at least so there’s that!#I can’t wait to get to the actual story I’m gonna do it in fic form with some illustrations scattered throughout instead of a comic (unless#-I feel like a specific moons needs a comic)#and I think I’ll put in on my AO3 which’ll be fun so yeah. I’m excited to finally get through all these designs hopefully over this summer#and I’m done with hs now so I can continue working on it during this next year because I don’t plan on doing college immediately!! So yeah-#-I’ve got a lot of time on my hands now and I’m excited to get back to Projects!!#I’m thinking of doing commissions on my main too (including warriors/clangen designs) so look out for that if you’re interested
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yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24
#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD#they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovský but that’s my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#that’s my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like#‘yeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah we’re gonna make them lose.’ & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid#where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd#also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society#and sorry to get like this on a silly little post i’m about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovský hours but so much of this goes back#to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english#and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole#e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more ‘valuable’ capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl#is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency they’re doing nothing to#support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition#programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway#juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun#at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl#syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me#you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount#of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him#AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life#'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy 🤷' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it#arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovský#arber xhekaj#david reinbacher#cayden primeau#montreal canadiens#i'm xhekovský posting leave me alone i'm also *****
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so if you romance and ascend astarion you can kick him in the balls when he tries to turn you and it’s just very funny, he’s so pissy about it. so much for the most powerful vampire of all time or whatever, he stamps around like a toddler and then leaves forever
#i’m glad i saved before that choice so i can go through all the scenes i wouldn’t have got otherwise#(‘that choice’ meaning ascension)#im Fascinated by a whole bunch of stuff if you ascend him#like if you succeed on the detect thoughts (or maybe insight i forget) before he turns you to see what he think of you#it says something like ‘he will always see you as degrading yourself while you choose to be with him�� which is just BONKERS INSANE#like not confusing or anything. just wild to include. in a good way; like yeah of course that’s how he feels#and then the narrator follows it up with something like ‘but isn’t that what you want?’#like i’m glad they do actually try to impress upon you how fucked this dynamic is. they’re not trying to make you think it’s a good outcome#(i know there’s discourse about this and it’s very annoying)#(people who are like ‘actually it’s romantic and kinky’ uhh 😬)#(but then people who are like ‘how can anyone think this is ok’ and direct that towards anyone who enjoys playing it)#(like no it’s fun and genuinely interesting and i can see the appeal. just not when it comes to analysing the relationship)#(most people are aware that this is a bad dynamic they’re just playing a game chill out)#(like when i said 😬 about it being romantic/kinky i mean that from the perspective of analysing the story not personal enjoyment)#(anyway. moving on)#like i did that specific bit of dialogue probably a month or more ago and only once (because the test was really hard)#and it’s been creeping around in my head ever since. i love it lmao#i saw a video of that kiss where he makes you kneel a while ago and didn’t quite believe it was a real thing#but no it’s one of his actual default kisses. amazing#like i’m definitely gonna do a playthrough where i get everyone to make the power-hungry soul-destroying choices#and i might have to romance astarion again for that one because he definitely seems to have the most bad-decision relationship content#although he has the most relationship content full stop so it’s not surprising#but i think that’s the only one that notably changes your character during the playthrough rather than just the epilogue#personal#ash plays bg3
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i try not to be too obnoxious about liking kids media but i will be honest my one thing that really gets on my nerves is when people compare shows like idk the owl house or whatever to shows like bluey or like talk about them as if they are similar. like yes i logically realize they are probably exaggerating in order to frame all cartoons as especially childish but it still makes me want to tear my hair out like do you know how wildly different the target demographics for these shows are!!! do you realize that preschool television is generally a whole different world from tv for older kids!!!!
#this is not to devalue preschool television either i think it’s awesome#i would love to work in preschool tv in theory but i don’t have the child development knowledge for that#anyway the point is these types of shows are doing very different things#and even if someone is exaggerating on purpose#talking about them in the same breath just makes me think oh okay you don’t actually know anything about children’s television#which is fine you don’t have to. obviously it is. it for everyone.#but to act like being a devoted fan of a show like. idk she ra. is so unfathomable to you that it would be like having a peppa pig blog#like i’m never gonna be one to say ‘it’s better than adult media blah blah blah’ that’s what i mean abt being obnoxious#but you can’t imagine it possibly having a compelling story or anything to get invested in?? why not???#i’m getting away from myself and trying to fit all my thoughts into one post#which i TOLD MYSELF i wouldn’t do#also btw if you do blog about preschool television more power to you. do whatever you want forever.#don’t go on rants about how bluey is objectively better than all media made for adults ever but like.#yeah man bluey is a fun and comforting show. enjoy it!#r.txt
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Mark. Im Sorry. I love you. But you SUCK TO DRAW
#Everytime I look back at a piece I’ve done with this fucker I’m like ‘oh this looks good I should draw mark more often’#and then I SUFFER#anyway. might scrap or redo this piece because I’m hating the proportions and posing#very flat. very weird. so I’m gonna try again I think#which SUCKS because now I have to draw his stupid ass hair AGAIN#I DONT KNOW WHY ITS SO DIFFICULT IT JUST SUCKS#not to mention having to draw nothing on top of that#like oh yeah let me draw the wacky hairstyle man followed by the incomprehensible hell creature that’ll be a fun drawing#AUGH. mark everything about you is a NIGHTMARE for me why do I persist#because you’re silly. and also really sad. god this poor kid#nobody get attached to him#for your own sanity#omori#omori au#omori mari#omori mark#iromo au
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think it shouldn’t have been legal that my first day of teaching of the year coincided with grey and rain and storms. however! have some very lovely new students, some very enthusiastic returning ones, there’s new cookies in the cafe, and I get to play with pendulums tomorrow, so there are some (many!) positives
#teaching#text post#my post#my knees are unimpressed#by the combination of being back on my feet lots and whatever the weather did I think#but the cookies are truly magnificent#and it’s cute to see the students again they’re very nice and excitable mostly#but I am tired#ok this post was mostly an excuse to just divulge how the day has gone#it felt very autumnal this morning with grey skies and wind and the smell of rain which is kinda nice yknow getting that October feeling in#but god it’s gonna be such a long term#like ridiculously so#I have all these resolutions about doing more hobby stuff in the evenings and stretching more but like#we’ll see considering: the Tired#anyway the pendulums lesson is not even fully planned but I wasn’t about to stay super late on literally day 1#I plan much better in the mornings anyway#and start as you mean to go on right#so that’s morning’s problem#but it’s pendulums it’ll be fun#tomorrow’s my first non-stop day of teaching (ie no free periods) in two years soooo#wish me (and my knees) luck for that one#those are usually ok once you get into them cause time just flies#but planning is a pain and I’m out of practice doing them cause I had none all of last year thankfully#ok that’s my update I think it’s bedtime#if you’ve read all these tags I am very impressed have a cookie 🍪#less impressive than the cafe ones but still good
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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I’m having trouble with TCD in terms of there’s about 6 characters I need to Know and have fleshed out but I just don’t and my brain is not willing to spit many out.
These characters will be antagonistic and need to bicker and argue with each other quite often. I know some of them will die in due time. I could probably pull the number down to four without too much grief. So…
#Writerblr#characters#character creation#I am a fan of reusing and reducing a recycling I have to say#I have. Two of those group sorted out. And the building blocks for three more improvised to a degree#I’ve already named one of the fallen after an old character in Sonder who has been discontinued which I think is good#Once again the Foxes continue to stop me from being able to progress as I want to and I want to SCREAM#A secret third option in my head could include harvesting the very bare bones ideas of friends ocs and sprinkling that in#But that does not feel like a good idea#For funny little private chats? Hell yeah! Fun times!#for book I want to write? Mmmm No chief that’s a bad plan there#I’m gonna journal about it a bit.#Oh the two characters I do have are called Titch and Maxel btw :))
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12 year old Kiwi would simultaneously be Very Very Disappointed and also Very Proud
#disappointed because I’m 24 still single never had a boy friend no job no degree and dropping out of college soon#but proud because i drew a person and he turned out decently well#ive written a lot of fiction which includes and centers on original characters and i even have a completed 20k words fic#(and while i didnt know fanfiction existed at age 12 i would have loved it. and also just been proud at having written fiction)#i have a car of my very own#i own a nice gaming console (switch) and games for it and my family still has a working wii#12yo Kiwi would have been astounded and very happy to see the 112% completion (or whatever number it is) in botw and just how many korok#seeds i collected#she would have loved to see the 10% exploration i have in every genshin area to date#she would have been happy i have friends even tho 95% of them are online (I love you all so very much here have hugs 🫂🫂)#I’m sure theres way more#anyways my point is i should try and be proud of where i’m at right now#even if its miles away from where i wanted to be st this point in my life#I’m gonna try and do nice and fun things as a gift to 12yo kiwi#maybe that will help reduce the incessant negative voice in my head telling me what a complete failure and letdown and disappointment i am#also i think 12yo kiwi would have had her little mind blown at the existence of weighted blankets#and would have LOVED the loz games/franchise/etc#and also would have laughed to discover that i am still the exact same height as her#(I haven’t grown since like 7th grade. i have been 5’2” for around half my life at this point#anyways i guess what I’m saying is do what makes you happy. make little child you happy.
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i think it’s really really interesting that most people seem to really like drawing faces and hate drawing hands but i LOVE drawing hands and have such a hard time drawing faces like i always draw the face last bc i have to redraw it 800 times and even then it usually doesn’t come out the way i want. but hands i get that shit immediately and i always wanna add too much detail bc i have so much fun drawing them. is this because i have trouble making eye contact and like looking at hands bc i’m a lesbian? probably but who knows
#just in general i like drawing bodies a lot more than faces. there was a point when i was 17/18 when i REALLY worked at drawing faces every#day where it was ok but even then it was still like these proportions are fucking weird so i’m just gonna draw A nose or AN eye not a full#face. idk why i just have trouble with it#not to say i’m not practicing bc usually before i do a drawing i do like 800 face sketches as a warm up but like#they’re weird face sketches yknow? whereas i’ve done SEVERAL hand studies and i always have hands in my drawings bc they’re fun to draw#if you go through my art i very rarely have one hand showing it’s usually two and i don’t think i have any drawings with no hands that i’ve#made recently#actually as a teenager (which was the last time i drew refularly) i also drew a lot of hands so like. lifelong thing i guess
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“Did you know—”
“I don’t care,” Sukuna interrupts, wholly disinterested. It’s half past three—(which is, of course, his fault, but that doesn’t mean he’s any less tired).
But you, wholly uncaring, promptly ignore him. “—That some female spiders eat the male ones after mating?”
“What do you want me to do with this information?” He looks at you irritably, glaring at you from the corner of his eyes. You flash him a grin—it’s a mischievous little thing, your lips curled in a cheeky, flirty way that warns him silently that he’s about to risk popping another vein. He seems to do that around you quite often, and it certainly feels like it’s underway once more.
(And, as it always is, his intuition would be right).
“It’s a warning,” you hum.
He snorts, raising a clearly disbelieving brow as he hums, “oh yeah? For what? Are you gonna—wha-hey!”
Not a lot catches Sukuna off guard. You giggle as he barks out a surprised yelp of your name, harshly shoving you away from his chest. There’s a nice, fresh, very crystal and very clear outline of your teeth marked right on the flesh surrounding his nipple.
He looks at you like you’ve lost your mind.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asks incredulously.
You let out a soft, amused little giggle that sounds through the room before he feels your weight shift and fall onto him, making him grunt as his arms steady you and his eyes stare up at your hovering face with an agitated purse of his lips.
“I’m eating you,” you say cheekily, “see?” For emphasis, you leave an equally as shocking bite to his bicep, your head leaning down to get a mouthful of his bare arm. He lets out a low, startled grunt before one large and very firm hand grabs the back of your neck and yanks you off.
“Have you completely lost it?” He hisses.
“We just mated—”
“Who on Earth talks about sex like that? We are not animals who—”
“—And now I’m going to eat you after mating. Like a female spider.”
“If you’re going to be weird, just go the fuck to sleep,” he grumbles lowly.
Sukuna is tired.
(And yes, the reason is partly because he’s a bit inexhaustible once he’s felt the velvet heat of your walls, and yes, it’s technically his own greediness that’s worn him out so physically for the night. But that’s all been the cost for something of greater benefit to him. Something he doesn’t exactly mind draining his energy for.
Bur your odd, unsettling, abnormal and very plainly weird schemes are not a part of the list of things he’s willing to sacrifice his energy for. There isn’t much pleasure in entertaining your nonsense most of the time.
If anything, there’s pain—the stinging bite marks on his skin can attest to that.)
“I’m not tired,” you hum.
“Then let me make you tired,” he offers smugly, lips tugging into a cocky grin as he looks up at you.
“If you didn’t manage that the first time, what makes you think that’ll work the second?” You tease.
He doesn’t seem to like that very much, because with a growl, he pushes the back of your neck until your face falls into the crook of his neck, a strong, bulky arm wrapping around your waist and keeping you in place against his body.
It’d be awfully intimate, and awfully sweet if he didn’t mumble, “I love when you sleep because it’s the only few hours of the day I get to hear you shut the fuck up.”
“Maybe if you’d just appreciated my fun fact—”
“You bit my fucking nipple.”
“I could bite the other one, too, if you want,” you pipe up with an excited grin. He can feel it pressed against his skin as your face buries deeper into the space between his neck and shoulder.
Sukuna is tired. Most of the time, it’s because of you. All of the time, he chooses to allow it because he likes having you around for a good fuck.
(And, of course, there’s all that bullshit about love and affection, too. But that’s just that odd stuff you like to babble about—that odd, unsettling, abnormal and very plainly weird emotional part of you that somehow ropes him into being the same way every once in a while.
He doesn’t like it.)
“You need a lobotomy,” he mutters, wincing when you bite the skin of his neck in response. Not in a manner he likes, either—very much in a manner that makes sure he feels the sharpness of your incisors.
“Don’t be rude,” you scold, “I’m biologically meant to be your predator.”
“You biologically give me fuckin’ migraines.”
You grin—it’s a smile that’s easy. Smooth. Maybe a little giddy, too. It comes out only around Sukuna. Him and his gruff, rugged way of accepting your affection, and his double as rough and crude way of giving it back. His callused hands and toughened knuckles that brush along your cheeks carefully. His crass and undignified words that are carefully thought out enough to never cross the line. His downturned lips and narrowed eyes that only ever soften at the sharp corners around you.
“Next time, I’ll eat you for sure,” you murmur, settling against his chest and getting comfortable. He wraps both arms around you, warm and tight enough that you almost think you can forgo the blanket altogether. “Assert my dominance.”
“You can’t even open the pickle jar.”
“That’s different.”
“It’s only a matter of time until natural selection gets you,” he snickers quietly. You huff, biting back a smile as he yawns.
Gently, with a kiss over the bite mark you left against his neck, you say softly, “goodnight. Love you.”
“Night.”
“I love you.”
“For the love of—love you too, holy fuck. Go to sleep.”
#writing tag#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen x you#sukuna ryomen fluff
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c:
#i have been exercising waow 🤪#there’s this influencer ig lol alIie bennett on instagram who does#playlists that like u walk along to the beat and it gets faster and goes to a run for a bit and stuff#i’ve done tt/pd a couple times and i did her gIee one#they’re rly fun i’m glad i started tbh lol#i haven’t done it in like a week probably and i did speak n/ow tv today#BRUHHHHH spe/ak now is a struggle LOL#like it probably also has to do a the fact that i took a break and also that my shoulders/neck area hurts today#but that was pain LOLLLLLL it was hard#i gave up like right after the hour ended (which is how long it is anyway i just usually walk for a bit more after it’s done)#it’s interesting bc i think it’s like the songs on the album are longer so it maybe has less songs total for the hour#but ur going faster and for longer lol#anyway i love sp/eak now but idk if i’m gonna do this playlist again tbh lol 😭#i LOVEEEEE walking to some sn songs like sparks fIy mine etc#and those were on the playlist and so good#but some other songs are not as satisfying to walk to lol 😭 and the running songs weren’t super easy to actually run to the beat#not the fault of allie tho lol#tt/pd was rly fun to do and was a good one to start doing these with#like it’s more chill so there was less pressure to walk super fast or whatever lol#but they were all rly satisfying and easy to walk/run to the beat of#esp running to florida 🤩 lol so fun#the gIee one was SOOOOOOOO fun to do highly recommend if u have access to a treadmill and want to use LOL#i’ll probably be doing that one again#altho i was slightly cringing at like Iet’s have a kiki and i think a couple other ones LMFAO#and there was a lot of santana songs which is great but my mind was wandering and i kept thinking abt naya#but . overall very fun time lol#anyway that’s my random ramble lol 🤪 thank u for tuning in 😌💀#jeanne talks
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#hello hi I am so fucking burnt out 🫠 pls forgive me if I’m inactive for a bit or real fucking weird if I am here#I was supposed to have a 3 day weekend but an hour before I was done it got turned into another 6 day week soooooo 🙃#we had terrible storms yesterday and I worked with no power and then came home to no power (it didn’t come back till 8:40pm hELP)#cat had a vet appointment which ended up being super emotionally draining and upsetting#his heart disease has worsened and he’s on more medication#and though none of these things are ever set in stone it’s looking more and more likely that he won’t live as long as a typical cat#I uh thought I was okay and then just kind of completely broke down sobbing last night#and I can’t really think too hard about it without bursting right back into tears#he’s only 6 and a half and the sweetest cat and it’s not fair#trying to stay positive but I feel so bad for him#gonna love him as much as I can for as long as he’s here which is hopefully still for a long while#it’s not a dire situation it’s just the disease progressing but like it’s still hard#dealing with too much rn#we were expecting the vet bill to be about $400 but then opted to do a few extra things and it pushed it to $750 so ouch#we’re fine we had it saved but you know how it is#he expensive but he’s worth every penny <3#I also injured my knee so that’s fun- tore something in it I think#it’s not as bad as it was but it’s still painful and swollen and hard to bend#my dumbass is going hiking tomorrow despite this because it’s the first weekend that isn’t supposed to rain since like March#so as soon as I get out of work tomorrow I’m fucking off into the woods for a few hours to go be feral#probably bad for the knee but it’ll be good for the mental health#works only a half shiift tomorrow too and I’ll be done in the am so it should still feel like a long weekend#kinda bummed about it still tho#pls stop depending on me to pick up everyone’s slack kthnxbye#I’m so fucking tired 🫠#on the bright side I have next weekend requested off and it’s only gonna be a 4 day work week because of the holiday#there’s a rock and mineral show here next weekend and I am very excited#gonna buy some neat rocks hopefully 👍🏻#and assuming the weather is good next weekend and my knee doesn’t worsen I’m gonna fuck off into the woods again afterwards to be feral#gotta go rot in the woods for a bit to fix the soul; yall know how it is
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