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ohmyamor · 1 year

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he’s kinda hot | K.HJ

Pairing: Demon!Hongjoong x reader

Summary: After a decent run with your boyfriend, you finally decide to end it when his paranoia becomes too much. Except, maybe he wasn’t crazy. And now you have a demon who refuses to leave you alone.

w.c. 4.6k

Warnings: fluff, slight angst if you squint, minor character death he’s a dick don’t worry, mentions of blood and icky sounds but nothing is seen directly, suggestive content, cursing, desire hongjoong lives in my mind rent free

There’s something wrong with your boyfriend.

You first began to notice his odd behavior a little over a month ago, but for the past week, it’s gotten progressively worse.

What started off as slight jumpiness and anxiety has now turned into full fledged paranoia, to the point where he refuses to ever leave the house, having breakdowns over this ‘person’ who’s after him.

“What do mean you can’t go with me?” You sighed exasperatedly, crossing your arms and staring at the sad excuse of a man standing in front of you.

A few months ago, you might’ve cared about how tired and worn-down he looked, but now? At this point in your relationship?

You really couldn’t care less.

“Are you crazy?” Your boyfriend all but shouts at you.

You feel your jaw clench at his tone.

“Do you know what’ll happen if I go out there?” he continues shouting like a madman. “He’s going to get me! They’re all going to get me! It’s not safe for me out there!”

There’s a crazed look in his eyes and you feel a slight chill run up your spine.

You don’t think you want to stick around any longer to find out what his tipping point is going to be.

“Okay, then stay,” you spit, marching over to the couch to grab your wallet and keys. “Stay here and rot for all I care because you have been nothing but a paranoid piece of shit lately and you refuse to get help.”

“I’m not going to sit around and wait for this episode or whatever you want to call it,” you wave your hands around, “to end, because I have a life and I am not going to sit around waiting for you to get it together.”

“So this relationship ends here,” you glare at him.

“Good luck getting by without anybody who cares about you,” you let the words hang in the air as you walk to the front door and exit the apartment, slamming the door shut behind you.

Huffing, you shove your wallet and keys into your pocket and begin the trek to the grocery store.

After spending a few hours running errands and killing time, you’ve calmed down significantly.

You had called your close friend Seonghwa on the way to the market, telling him what had happened between you and your now ex-boyfriend.

“He sounds crazy,” Seonghwa had said over the phone.

“I know Hwa, which is why I decided to end it because I refuse to stay in another relationship where the other person expects me to solve all of their problems,” you groaned.

He hummed over the line.

“Plus,” you continue. “There was this look, in his eyes and on his face, like he genuinely believed there was something out to get him.”

Seonghwa is quiet.

“I don’t know,” you sigh. “It just gave me a really bad feeling and you know how I feel about gut instincts. I’d rather trust myself and be safe than sorry.”

“Yeah of course. Honestly honey, I think you did the right thing. I never liked him from the beginning, but you were happy and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, but I agree, if you have a bad feeling about something, you should always trust your intuition,” Seonghwa reassures you.

You let out a small laugh.

“And don’t worry,” he continues, “You’re an amazing person and a great catch, so it’ll be no time before you have someone else falling at your feet.”

You roll your eyes.

Even if he can’t see you, Seonghwa’s known you for long enough to anticipate your habits.

“Thank you Hwa,” you smile into the phone.

“Anytime.”

The two of you chatted on for a little bit more after that, with Seonghwa letting you know he always had an extra room in case you needed to crash at his place for a while.

You thanked him once again but refused his offer. After all, the lease on the apartment was under your name, and you paid most of the bills, so if anyone was going to be leaving, it’s going to be your ex.

The conversation was definitely much-needed, and after the reassurance that you weren’t crazy for ending your relationship, you felt much more confident to head back to your apartment and kick out the man living there.

Once you finally made it back to your building, you exited the elevator and walked down the corridor to your apartment door. Taking deep breaths, you began to steel your nerves in order to prepare for whatever breakdown the male might have.

As you approached your door, you noticed that it looked slightly open.

You pause in your footsteps, narrowing your eyes to see if the door was truly open or if it’s just a trick of your eyes.

Dread begins to build in your stomach when you realize that your door is, in fact, open.

It’s fine, you attempt to reassure yourself in your mind. Maybe he finally got the hint and left.

Cautiously, you approach the door and push it open with your foot.

Stepping inside, you notice how eerily quiet it is.

Normally when you come back from work or running errands, your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, you remind yourself, is doing something to keep himself busy in his self-appointed quarantine. Whether it’s playing a video game or watching T.V., there’s always some kind of noise echoing throughout your small apartment.

But now, there’s nothing.

It’s also incredibly dark.

Dropping the grocery bags onto the floor softly, you reach into your pocket to pull out your keys. You move to the turn on the light switch that’s on the wall, but freeze when you hear whimpering coming from somewhere in the room.

You opt to not turn on the light, unsure of where the noise is coming from and also slightly terrified of what’s going on.

You keep one hand on your phone, ready in case you need to call the police.

Quietly and ever so slowly, you make your way to the bedroom where the whimpering noise is coming from.

The door to your room is slightly ajar, allowing a few rays of light to peek through. On the carpet in the hallway is a dark trail of something.

You swallow thickly, hoping it’s not what you think it is.

You stop in front of the bedroom door and strain your ears to listen to the noises coming from the room. With your heart pounding loudly in your chest, you come to the realization that the whimpers are coming from your ex-boyfriend.

“Now, now, now,” a voice that is certainly not your boyfriend’s rings out.

“Crying isn’t going to get you anything,” the voice chuckles. “You knew what the price of the deal was, and yet, you still tried to double-cross me.”

There’s more muffled crying.

“Silly human,” the voice says sinisterly.

“Didn’t anybody ever warn you to not make deals with the devil?”

The sound of flesh being torn reaches your ears along with pained crying, and you feel sick to your stomach when a metallic smell reaches your nose.

You bring your hands up to cover your mouth to prevent yourself from gagging. You have no clue what you should even do at this point. Whatever’s in there with your ex is either an incredibly deranged human being, or something not even human.

You don’t want to find out which one it is.

After what feels like forever, the muffled crying stops, and your stomach sinks when you come to realization that your ex might now be dead.

The person inside the room sighs.

“Open the door sweetheart.”

Your blood runs cold.

Raising a trembling hand, you move to push the door open, bracing yourself for whatever gruesome sight awaits you and whatever monster you’ll see standing in your room.

Except, you see neither.

There is no body in your room, nor is there any blood or gruesome mess.

There’s also certainly no monster.

Instead, a man sits on a single chair in the middle of the room.

He has bright red hair and a slightly pointed nose. Jewelry adorns his ears and hands, and he wears a pair of dark dress pants with a white shirt that’s tucked in. His sleeves are rolled up on his arms.

If it weren’t for the small splatters of a red substance on his otherwise pristine shirt, you might’ve thought that what you heard before never happened.

Your eyes drag over his figure before coming to rest on his face. The two of you make eye contact and a shiver runs down your spine at the wicked smile he sends you.

“Did you enjoy our little show?”

You say nothing.

The man sighs and places his hands on his thighs, pushing himself up off the chair. He takes a few steps forward until he stands less than a foot away from you.

I’m going to die, you think.

I’m going to die a horrible and gruesome death and no one will ever know and i’ll never see my friends again and i’ll never say goodbye to my parents and-

The man chuckles.

“You’re not going to die.”

“Allow me to introduce myself,” the man reaches his hand out to gently grab yours. He bows slightly, bringing your hand up to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on the back of your hand while maintaining eye contact.

“My name is Hongjoong and I’m the demon who just took care of your pesky little boyfriend problem.”

Was laughing out loud to the man’s, demon’s?, introduction the best choice?

Probably not.

But you cannot be blamed for your habit of laughing in awkward situations.

After all, here is this man, who just admitted to killing your ex-boyfriend, introducing himself to you as a demon and also kissing the back of your hand like the two of you were in the 1700′s.

What sane person would have a normal reaction to that?

As soon as the sound made its way out of your body, your free hand immediately slapped itself over your mouth and your eyes widened in horror.

If the demon didn’t have any plans on killing you at first, he’s definitely going to now.

The man doesn’t say anything, simply raising a brow as a small smile takes over his face.

“I’m glad you found my introduction so amusing sweetheart, but I can assure you, this is certainly real.”

As he said that, you watched in slight horror as his eyes faded from a soft brown color to dark pools of black. Swallowing, you attempt to tug your hand out of the demon’s grasp to try and back away, but his grip only tightens.

He clicks his tongue and within a fraction of a second, his eyes have returned to brown.

“Why are you here?” You finally muster up the courage to speak. Despite your attempts to sound even the slightest bit brave, the waver to your voice was obvious.

Hongjoong sighs, annoyed.

“That sorry excuse of a man you called your boyfriend was in my debt. I made it clear to him when he made a deal with me what the price would be, and he still attempted to evade me.” He rolled his eyes and for a split second, the demon reminded you of a parent whose child wouldn’t listen.

“What deal did he make?” You question, your curiosity getting the better of you.

The demon looks back at you.

“Nothing that concerns your pretty little self,” he winks.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes at his actions.

“Considering you just killed him, I think it’s safe to assume it was a pretty important deal,” you challenge.

A grin creeps onto Hongjoong’s face.

“So you have the looks and the brains to accompany it,” his smile widens.

You try to fight back the heat that was rising to your cheeks.

Yeah, maybe he’s a demon who killed your ex-boyfriend, but he’s also an incredibly attractive demon who just called you smart and beautiful. Who are you to deny his compliments?

“But,” Hongjoong continues. “If you must know, he wanted to become wealthy and successful.” He takes a glance at your reaction. “And he wanted lots of women.”

You can’t hide the disgusted look that makes its way onto your face.

“That piece of shit,” you mutter under your breath.

After everything you did for him, he still had the audacity to go behind your back, make a deal with a demon, and wish for wealth and women?

I really know how to pick ‘em, you think bitterly.

Hongjoong continues, noticing the look on your face.

“But no need to worry, sweetheart. I’ve taken care of your little problem, and I do think you come out of this fiasco the winner.”

Your eyebrows furrow and you stare at him in confusion.

Hongjoong leans in close, close enough where you can feel his breath on your face and his lips are mere inches from yours. His eyes have slowly begun to bleed black and another wicked smile makes its way onto his face.

“Now, you have me.”

It seems as though demons share the unfortunate similarity to human males where they seem to be extra sensitive in between their legs.

Unfortunately for Hongjoong, you had taken advantage of his proximity to knee him where the sun doesn’t shine. While he doubled over in pain, you take the opportunity to run out of your bedroom and head straight for the front door.

I just need to get out, I need to call someone, I need to call Seonghwa-

Right as your fingers brush against the door handle, a hand grabbed at your wrist and yanked you back.

Grunting, you land harshly on the floor, the breath being knocked out of you. A weight over your body makes you wince. Opening your eyes, you watch as Hongjoong straddles your waist, his hands coming down to rest near your head.

He clicked his tongue.

“Nice try cutie, but you can’t get away from me that easily.”

Struggling, you attempt to shove him off of you, but despite his slightly smaller stature, the stupid demon won’t budge.

“I didn’t make a deal with you!” You cry out, punching his chest. “You got what you wanted, so leave me alone!”

Hongjoong lets out a chuckle.

“I don’t think you get it sweetheart. I want you.”

“Why?” You pant, your adrenaline slowly fading and confusion taking over.

Hongjoong shrugs.

“You intrigue me.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes.

“How romantic,” you say sarcastically.

“See, this is what I mean,” he gestures down at your body that is still laying on the floor. “When I was dealing with your boyfriend, you heard what was going on and instead of leaving, you stayed behind the door.”

He knew I was there the entire time?

“When I introduced myself, you laughed, and even after our entire conversation, you still had the gall to hurt me to try and run away.” He stares into your eyes so deeply that you can’t help but squirm slightly.

“It’s called a fight or flight response.”

Hongjoong giggles, and if it weren’t for the fact that you are currently pinned down beneath the demon, you honestly might find it kind of cute.

Sighing, you let your hands fall to the floor next to you. Hongjoong looks at you slightly amused.

“So what, you’re gonna stick around and when you eventually get bored, you’re gonna kill me and take me soul?”

He tilts his head to the side.

“I can if you want me to.”

With wide eyes, you shake your head no.

“That’s what I figured,” Hongjoong chuckles. “No, you haven’t made a deal with me, so I won’t take your soul. You’re just stuck with me now.” He shrugs as if it’s no big deal.

“Great,” you sigh.

In Hongjoong’s defense, having him around isn’t that bad.

For the most part, he sticks to himself, observing you as you go about your day.

“That’s really creepy,” you mentioned offhandedly one day.

“What is?” Hongjoong questioned.

“This whole, standing and staring thing you have going on,” you waved your hand around.

“Would you prefer me to be up close and personal with you?” In the blink of an eye, Hongjoong is standing directly against you.

Taking a step back, you raise your hands in front of you.

“No, I’m fine, you can continue with your staring.”

On occasion, he can be pretty helpful, too.

You slam the door to your apartment open, stomping inside and throwing your bag on the floor. You throw yourself face-first onto the couch and let out a muffled scream.

From where he sits at the dining table watching Netflix on your computer, Hongjoong stares at you, amused.

“Is everything okay sweetheart?”

“No,” comes your muffled reply.

If Hongjoong didn’t have incredibly sharp hearing, he would have a hard time understanding you.

“Stupid Eric from work thinks he can just treat all the women like pieces of meat and get away with it because he’s the boss’s son,” you spit.

You miss the way Hongjoong’s face darkens.

“Did he do something to you?” He questions.

You’re silent for a moment, debating if you want to say it out loud.

“It’s just,” you trail off, unsure how to say it.

Hongjoong hums, letting you know that he’s listening.

“He’s always made comments to all the women in my department, and those are easy to ignore, but today he got really close to me when we were in the break room.”

You can feel your body tense up as you relive the moment.

“Honestly, I thought he was going to try and do something, but luckily, one of our coworkers walked in before he could do anything,” you admit.

It’s silent for a few seconds.

“I’ll be back,” are the only words that come out of Hongjoong’s mouth.

You sit up abruptly from the couch.

“Huh?”

Before you can even finish speaking, Hongjoong is gone.

“So much for moral support,” you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back against the couch.

It’s not until late that the demon returns.

You’re sitting on your bed with a face mask on, scrolling through work emails when Hongjoong appears suddenly at the foot of your bed.

You jump slightly, only calming down when you realize who it is.

“Fuck dude, you can’t keep doing that,” you chastise him, trying to calm your racing heart.

Hongjoong says nothing, staring at you.

It’s only then you notice the way his eyes are completely black and he’s breathing abnormally hard.

A shiver crawls up your spine.

“Are you okay?” You ask hesitantly.

Still, Hongjoong remains quiet for a moment before rolling his shoulders back, a deep exhale escaping him.

“You don’t need to worry about that Eric anymore,” is all he says before walking out of your room.

Although you’re slightly horrified at the implications of his words, you also can’t deny the fuzzy feeling in your chest over his actions.

The most annoying part about having him around, though, is the teasing.

Hongjoong seems to have made it his mission to fluster you.

Constantly.

You had just stepping out of the bath, a satisfied sigh escaping you as you wrapped a fuzzy towel around your body.

After a long week, the long, warm bath was incredibly needed.

Softly combing through your hair, you hum slightly as you go through your nighttime skincare routine, being extra thorough and gentle.

Once you finish, you open the door to your bathroom and step out into your room, only to gasp when you see Hongjoong laying on your bed.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You exclaim as one of your hands reaches up to tightly grab the towel that’s wrapped around your body.

Hongjoong glances over at you, drinking in the sight of your damp body.

“Enjoying the view,” he winks.

You roll your eyes, walking over to the bedroom door and opening it.

“Get out.”

The demon pouts as he sits up on your bed.

“C’mon, don’t you think I’ve been good lately?” He stands up slowly and begins making his way over to you.

Hongjoong gets closer, a small smirk making its way onto his face.

“Don’t you think I deserve a reward?”

You stand completely still against the wall, gulping harshly. There’s a heat that builds in your lower stomach as you stare into his hooded eyes.

One of Hongjoong’s hands creeps up to gently toy with the edge of the towel that lays against your chest.

“If you ever feel so kind,” Hongjoong leans in to whisper against your ear. “You know where to find me.”

He leans away from you, tongue darting out to lick his lips.

Wordlessly, he walks out of your bedroom and shuts the door.

You quickly place the lock on it before sitting down on your bed. Placing a hand over your chest, you feel it beat harshly against your chest.

What the fuck was that?

Today is a particularly bad day.

From running late in the morning, missing your normal bus to work, and being reprimanded for a mistake you didn’t even do, you think your last straw is when it starts pouring on your way home.

Of course, the weatherman certainly did not predict this today, so you were left umbrella-less and with only a thin blazer to shield yourself from the elements.

And, with your incredible luck, a call from your mother nagging about why you haven’t visited in a few months and how you need to start thinking about a more serious career really seemed to tip you over the edge.

You don’t even make it all the way home, instead opting to go to the nearby park to sit and be alone for a little while.

The rain hasn’t stopped, but it no longer bothers you. In fact, you welcome the harsh sting of water against your skin. It’s the only feeling you seem to be able to comprehend at this moment.

You sit on the swing and stare numbly at your feet. There are tears making their way down your cheeks, but you cannot distinguish them from the rain.

You’re not sure how long you sit there alone.

Only the sudden lack of water pelting down on you causes you to look up.

Standing next to you in casual clothes is Hongjoong. He holds an umbrella over you, the rain beginning to soak his left side.

You hadn’t even notice him approach.

“You know, if you wanted to get killed or die from a hypothermia, this is a for sure way to do it,” he jokes.

You don’t respond.

Hongjoong notices your lack of response and furrows his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?”

His tone is gentle, probably the softest you’ve ever heard him speak.

You can’t stop the sobs that leave your mouth at his words.

Without hesitation, Hongjoong drops the umbrella and falls to his knees in front of you. He brings his arms up as you fall into the chest, your face burrowing itself into his neck.

He says nothing as you cry, rubbing his hands softly against your back and stroking your hair.

It takes a few minutes for your sobs to die down and when you do, Hongjoong gently pulls your body away from his to look at you.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He questions, eyes searching your own.

The look of despair on your face breaks Hongjoong’s heart. His chest physically hurts at the way you seem to be in so much pain, and him, unable to do anything about it.

He can’t remember the last time he felt so distraught over a human.

“I’m so tired,” you breathe out, closing your eyes.

A few stray tears make their way down your cheeks and Hongjoong cups your face with his hands, gently brushing them away.

“Then use me,” He says.

“Rest on me, take your anger out on me, hurt me, laugh at me, I don’t care.”

The raw honesty in his voice causes you to open your eyes and stare at him.

“It hurts me to see you in pain,” he frowns.

You let out a weak chuckle.

“I didn’t know demons could feel pain,” you attempt to joke.

Hongjoong doesn’t reply, only continuing to stare at you as if he’s trying to commit every inch of your face to memory.

“I feel so strongly for you it hurts,” he whispers.

Your eyes widen and you stare into his, trying to search for any inkling of deceit that will let you know he’s lying.

You can’t find any.

Your mouth parts, but no words come out. Hongjoong runs one of his fingers over your bottom lip.

“If you let me,” he glances from your lips up to your eyes. “I want to be your everything, the same way you are mine.”

The only thing that leaves your lips is a breathy sigh of his name. He leans in closer.

“May I?” He asks lowly.

You barely have a chance to nod before Hongjoong is crashing his lips onto yours.

The kiss is passionate, slightly desperate in the way he clutches onto your face and pulls you closer, as if you’ll disappear from his hands if he leaves even an inch of space between your bodies.

Hongjoong lightly nibbles on your lower lip and you let out a soft sigh. One of his hands has moved to your hip, where it rubs soft circles.

Eventually pulling away from each other, you lean your forehead against his.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone,” Hongjoong admits to you.

You let out a small laugh and shake your head.

“You’re like a million years old, I find that slightly hard to believe.”

He shakes his head no, grabbing your hand and bringing it up to rest against his chest where his heart is. Underneath your palm, you feel the way his heart pounds.

“This is all for you,” Hongjoong smiles.

“Only for you.”

bonus!

You and Hongjoong were enjoying a night in, laying down on your bed as a movie played on the T.V. Hongjoong had draped himself over your lap, resting his head on your stomach as you gently combed your hands through his hair.

“You know, for a demon, I thought you would have horns or something,” you mumble, eyes focused on the screen. Hongjoong’s body shakes with slight laughter.

“Just because I’m a demon doesn’t mean I have horns. That’s kind of stereotypical of you to assume,” he teases.

You roll your eyes, lightly smacking him on the back of his head.

“I do have fangs though,” he mentions after a couple of seconds.

Your eyes widen.

“Really?”

Hongjoong hums, leaning up slightly to face you. He opens his mouth and you watch as his teeth slowly become pointed. Gaping, you bring your hand up to softly run your fingers over the sharp edges. Your breath hitches slightly when you press the pad of your finger on the point of his tooth and it leaves a small wound.

Grinning, Hongjoong crawls on top of you.

“Do you like them?” he asks.

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before he’s leaning down and leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses on your neck. You let out a breathy sigh, moving your head to side to give him more access. You can’t stop the whimper that escapes when he drags the tips of his sharpened teeth against your skin.

Pulling back to look at your flushed face, Hongjoong smirks, black seeping into his eyes.

“Oh sweetheart,” he purrs. “We’re going to have so much fun.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

#hongjoong x reader #hongjoong imagines #kim hongjoong x reader #kim hongjoong imagine #hongjoong au #demon!hongjoong #ateez x reader #ateez imagine #ateez au #demon au

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ayyy-pee · 5 months

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𝔼ℙ𝕀𝕊𝕆𝔻𝔼 𝟙 - 𝕀ℕ𝕋ℝ𝕆𝔻𝕌ℂ𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ𝕊 ℙ𝕋. 𝕆ℕ𝔼

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Last Episode - Masterlist

Pairing: JJK Men x Female Reader

Episode Summary: The season has begun! Which one of these contestants will be the first to make an impression on your heart?

STORY TWIST: READERS WILL VOTE AFTER CERTAIN CHAPTERS TO CHOOSE WHO GETS A ROSE AND MAKES IT TO THE NEXT WEEK. KEEP A LOOKOUT FOR THE VOTING LINK AT THE END OF CHAPTERS

Story Warning: DRAMA, lying and scheming, REVERSE HAREM, profanity bc I can only be me, arguments, fights probably, heartbreak and tears, (more to come)

Artist Credit: momoya348, Umbra3terna, ilameys,maoyaoyao519, _0_0219 Divider Credit: Cafekitsune (Tumblr)

A/N: sorry it took so long! i said it would be up the next day but yall know i lie

Apparently, you were the perfect pick for the show. At least, that’s what the producers had told you as they spent weeks screening you for this and prepping you for what was to be expected.

“She’s not heavily involved in society, but can still see curses,” they’d said.

“And none of the Sorcerers would know her either since she’s practically nobody in society,” they’d note.

“No expectations from someone like her,” they’d comment.

And all the while, you sat there, letting them pick apart your life.

A window – hardly useful, new to Kyoto so the chances were slim that you had met any of the men who had signed up for the show, a nobody, just…there. Unimpressive, plain, hardly a step above the non-gifted. And somehow, you were supposed to win the heart of one of these men.

- - - - - -

Jesse stands before you, a wide smile on his face when he asks, “Feeling nervous?”

“Just a little.” That feels like an understatement

“Anything you’re looking for in one of these Sorcerers?” Jesse pushes. You’ve honestly got to give it to Jesse. He’s a great host. You’ve gotten more comfortable with him in the short time you’ve been speaking. You think he’s a nice person. At least while the cameras are on.

“Nothing in particular, Jesse,” you respond. “You know, I’m pretty open right now. Just looking to find someone who speaks to my heart.”

Now you’re just pulling things out of your ass, because where did that come from?

“Good, good.” Jesse pauses briefly, taking a dramatic inhale of breath before he speaks your name. “Alright, listen. The first man who will be competing for your heart should be pulling up here shortly. Best of luck. But, I have a strong feeling there’s going to be someone out here for you that will end up sweeping you off your feet…” He leans forward and embraces you once more. Then he turns and speaks directly into the camera, where all the viewers at home can see. “Remember, this is a very special season in more ways than one. While our Bachelorette tries to find her soulmate, you, the viewers at home, are in charge of choosing who will not be receiving a rose for eliminations.”

Your head snaps to the camera and you see the cameraman swivel the large machine so that Jesse’s head blocks your wide eyed, open mouthed stare.

“Hopefully these men know how to make an impression, because that will greatly sway you viewers. Be sure to tune in…” He claps his hands together. “And with that…let the journey begin.”

Jesse is off before you can even call after him, not sparing you a glance as his assistants swarm around him out of view of the camera. There’s a lot of movement that follows as Jesse leaves you standing outside of the Bachelorette mansion in what now feels like the frigid cold. Was it always this freezing? Was your dress always so tight, so suffocating? You feel like you can’t breathe.

The viewers. That’s what Jesse had said on live television. The viewers would be deciding who moved forward?! That was not what was advertised! This was not what you were told would be happening! You were supposed to be choosing for yourself!

How could you possibly find the love of your life among a group of Sorcerers you’d be meeting for the first time in your life. Not to mention, you had to depend on the viewers of the world to decide who was your soulmate?! They didn’t even know you! How could you trust them with your heart? How would they know who would be the one best suited to take care of it?

Hell, you don’t even know who would be the one best suited for that. But the only thing you are certain of is that this is a mistake. A very big, very stupid mistake.

How could you have let Utahime talk you into this? Let this be the last time you’re swayed by that drunkard!

Your eyes dart around, trying not to catch the attention of the many people surrounding you at the moment. The crew is busy fiddling with the lighting. The sound team is checking and adjusting mics. The cameramen are moving into position to catch every possible angle. And suddenly you feel more exposed, more vulnerable than ever. You need to get out of here, quickly.

Spinning on your heel, you take a single step forward in an attempt to dart past all of the commotion, hopefully unnoticed. But the moment you turn around, you hit a wall. At least what feels like a wall. But the only thing standing between you and your escape is one very tall man dressed in a nice and clearly incredibly expensive suit.

Your gaze climbs up this man’s body and you’re met with a pair of the most insanely (and downright terrifying) pair of blue eyes you’ve ever seen in your life. They sit behind a pair of sunglasses (it’s nighttime?) so dark, you can’t see a thing through them. And atop this man’s head sits a head full of stark white hair. He’s so…unnatural looking. Almost alien-like, but beautiful nonetheless.

Still. It doesn’t change the fact that less than two seconds ago, you’re absolutely positive that this man was not here.

“Hey there,” he says, a lopsided grin on his face.

It’s then that reality crashes down on you. That this strange-looking man appearing out of thin air feels real. And you let out a blood-curdling, earsplitting shriek that has the staff gasping and screaming along with you. You quickly stagger backwards. And because you seem to be blessed with nothing but bad luck tonight, your heel of course catches in the ridges of the outdoor tile. You’re sure to be tumbling to the ground soon and you can only pray the cameras aren’t trained on you when you inevitably hit the floor. You squeeze your eyes shut and wait for the impact to come.

But it never does. You’re sort of just…floating there. You hesitantly peek through one eye, aware that you’re now in the arms of the man who had appeared out of nowhere. His eyes stare down at you, a hint of amusement behind them as he holds you to his chest. Well, you think it’s his chest? It feels like you’re touching him…but not? It’s such a strange sensation. Is this his cursed technique? It has you reaching up and almost pressing your hand to the man’s chest. That is, until you realize what you’re about to do. Aghast, you scramble out of his hold and straighten yourself up.

What was it the producers had told you in preparation? Stand tall and confidently. Even if you don’t feel confident, you’ll at least be able to look confident.

Well, you definitely don’t feel confident, and you doubt you look confident either. But you clear your throat quietly anyway, folding your hands in front of you and offer this man a polite smile.

“Thank you,” you mutter.

He chuckles, slipping his hands into his pockets as he peers at you from over the rim of his glasses. He purses his lips together, taking you in. Then that grin from earlier is back, like he approves of what he sees. “Any time.”

You’re not sure who the hell this man is. If he’s a contestant on the show, he shouldn’t be here yet. He’s supposed to be pulling up in a stretch limo and let out in front of you so that introductions can be done properly. You wait for him to introduce himself, but instead he just stands there, a shit eating grin sitting on his lips. Like you’re just supposed to know who he is.

Should you? Maybe you should.

He waits there…staring, annoyingly if you’re being honest.

So you wait, too. Because isn’t he supposed to be impressing you? Not the other way around. He’s clearly a sorcerer. You can feel the light airiness his cursed energy exudes, but you can’t for the life of you pinpoint who he is. Maybe it’s your nerves. Maybe you’re still on edge from this entire experience. Or maybe it’s the way your heart is still racing from him scaring the absolute shit out of you fifteen seconds ago. Either way, this guy seems awfully sure of himself and his expectation for you to show him some sort of reaction to his presence.

But you can’t place who he is. Mentally, you want to kick yourself for the way you always checked out, daydreaming about cheese fries instead of listening to Utahime give you the 411 on all of the sorcerers she knew. It would probably come in handy right about now.

When you don’t give this stranger the reaction he’s waiting for, you watch as his brows slowly knit together behind those glasses of his and his mouth turns down with a scowl.

“I thought a sorcerer would be more…” He waves his hand in the air lazily. “...excited about this.”

You fix him with a deadpan look. “You popped up out of nowhere, then almost knocked me on my a–”, you glance over to one of the cameras quickly. It stares back at you, one of many giant eyes suddenly hovering to catch every expression and word from you and televise it to the world. So really, you should be more careful about what you say. “I mean…you came out of nowhere and scared the crap out of me!”

You toss in a laugh to lighten up the mood, and let the man know you’re not upset even though deep down your heart is still hammering against your ribcage from his annoying little stunt.

Annoying…

…Stunt

Suddenly it hits you. Through the fog of cheese fry filled memories, you can hear Utahime’s drunken slurring come through.

“Everything’s a fucking joke to him. He takes nothing seriously. I hate that guy so much! Him and that dumbass blindfold and that damn forcefield he keeps up around him. Gojo Satoru can kiss my ass.”

And because he’s Gojo fucking Satoru, he can see the instant you realize he’s him written all over your face.

“Looks like you finally figured it out.” He’s as cocky as Utahime told you he was.

Even still, you hadn’t paid it any mind because you hadn’t expected the strongest sorcerer in a thousand fucking years to be standing in front of you on a damn dating show.

He saunters over to you, long legs quickly closing the distance. Then he’s taking your hand in his and bringing it up to his shiny pink lips. And you must look like a deer in the headlights, staring up at him with wide eyes, mouth open slightly as The Strongest, places a soft kiss to the back of your hand.

“I’m Satoru,” he breathes against your skin, and from your peripheral, you see the cameras move closer to catch this gesture.

They’re so close, you can even hear the staff whispering worriedly behind you: “Wait, wasn’t everyone’s montage supposed to be in black and white?” and “Why are his photos in color?” and “Something about his eyes? I don’t know.” and “Management’s gonna kill us.”

When Satoru pulls away, he’s smiling down at you. You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to his height. “You’re…stunning,” he speaks with an air of disbelief. And you can’t help it. You swoon for him immediately. It’s kind of pathetic, really. “As The Strongest, I think I’m the only one here capable of taking care of your heart.”

Again, you hear the staff behind you, men and women alike sighing and quietly squealing. You respond with a sweet smile and a genuine laugh because, although a little cheesy, that was definitely a good line. “Maybe so.”

You think he likes your cheekiness, because he’s beaming now. “Definitely so. And I can’t wait to prove it.” He kisses your hand again. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m looking forward to getting to know you.” Satoru gives you his most radiant smile and you can’t help but return it. “I’ll see you inside.”

And with that, he’s gone in an instant, like he was never there. It’s just you, with your hand still in the air and the impression of Satoru’s cursed energy before you…and the impression he’s already left on your heart.

You turn to the camera, pressing your hand to your rapidly beating heart. “He’s so charming.” It comes out as more of a sigh and you think you can hear Utahime groaning, see her rolling her eyes all the way from her couch. But you can’t help it! You just met the Satoru Gojo!

Unfortunately, you don’t have time to dwell too much on Satoru’s unique entrance because shortly after he poofs out of sight, you hear the sounds of tires approaching. With a wide grin to the camera and the audience watching, you spin back around and try to calm your nerves for the next arrival.

“We’re already off to a good start.” The cameras move into position, ready to capture everything. “Looks like the next contestant’s coming. Wonder what he’ll be like.”

Just as you finish speaking, a long, black and luxurious limousine rounds the corner and pulls into the lengthy driveway. You steady yourself, feeling optimistic after your first meeting. It’s as though all the nerves and apprehension you’d felt earlier were washed away. You can’t help but feel giddy now, eager to meet this next contestant as the limousine comes to a stop.

But as the driver exits the vehicle – a small, sweaty and almost sickly looking man – he comes around to the back of the limo and opens the door...only to see that the backseat is empty. He peers inside, then whips around when he finally sees there truly is no one in there. You can see his face begin to go almost green, his black rimmed glasses fogging as he stutters out, “H-has Gojo-san a-already arrived?”

He’s trembling, this poor man, and you simply give him a nod. Was he supposed to be bringing Satoru to you? If so, he failed miserably at his task.

The driver looks like he’s about two seconds away from passing out and the camera crew pick up on it, scurrying forward to catch his expression. He’s panic-stricken, murmuring to himself and it’s just loud enough for you to make out a “I hope Gojo-san doesn’t hit me when he’s back. How did I not notice he wasn’t there anymore? It was so quiet in the backseat. I must have simply enjoyed the rare peace I was given and didn’t question it...Oh, I’m so dead–”

He hurries back around to the drivers side without sparing a glance back, quickly hopping inside and taking off. The tires smoke and screech as he speeds around the corner, driving far too fast for any limousine to be moving.

The cameras pan back to you, and you smile uncomfortably, an equally uncomfortable laugh bubbling up from your chest. You shrug to the audience because what can you even say to that?

Dealing directly with sorcerers is already proving to be more chaotic than you imagined.

The next limo pulls forward not long after Satoru’s and the nervous pale man, and one of the most striking men you’ve ever seen steps out easily. He makes eye contact with you immediately, confidently. And it sends chills up your spine. He’s just barely shorter than Satoru, with a face carved by the gods, shiny blonde hair that looks so soft and probably smells incredible, and deep brown eyes that have definitely seen some shit in his line of work. They house deep bags under them. You wonder when the last time he got a good night’s rest was.

The man strolls across the driveway, so handsome in his khaki suit. You take that time to let your eyes rake over his form. Utahime didn’t tell you that these sorcerers were so damn big. If you had been given a warning, you’re sure you wouldn’t look like an idiot drooling over only the second guy you’ve seen tonight.

When he’s about arms length away from you, he stops suddenly and bows. It’s a perfect 90 degree formal greeting and you return it politely. This man must really care about customs and tradition. Surprisingly, you find that quite attractive.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he greets when he stands. His voice ignites goosebumps along your skin. It’s deep, rough and if you’re being honest, fucking sexy. “I’m Kento Nanami.”

“For now, you can simply refer to me as Nanami until we become more familiar.”

His words confirm your first impression of him. This man carries an air of confidence that makes you feel like you can trust him with your life. You know that sounds dramatic, but it’s a trait that is highly valued in the Sorcerer world. You’ve never seen a battlefield in your life, but you think that if you had a cursed technique, you’d want to go head to head against a curse with Nanami.

The cameras have moved forward again, just in time to catch you grinning like a goofy idiot. Nanami is the polar opposite of Satoru, in a good way. He’s far more serious and stoic than Satoru, but for some reason, you have a feeling that there’s more to him beneath the surface. You’re willing to bet he’s a lot more sensitive and caring than he lets on. You’re hoping you get to see that side of him soon.

“It’s so nice to meet you too, Nanami. You can call me by my first name. No need to be formal with me.”

Nanami presses his lips into a thin line. Like he doesn’t want to agree to that, but he doesn’t argue about it. And though brief, you see his eyes quickly snap up and down your form, taking you in so fast you almost miss it. “You look beautiful,” he tells you. And while his voice gives nothing away, you see the tips of his ears grow a little more crimson.

‘Cute.’ You can’t help but think. Yep, he’s so clearly adorably soft and shy underneath that hard exterior. Interesting. It gives you a small boost in confidence for a second. Someone as attractive as Nanami finds you beautiful. Of course you feel good about yourself.

“You’re very…”

‘Very what? Sexy? Ripped? Built like a fucking house?’

“...good looking yourself.”

‘Yeah, reel in the horny, please.’

Nanami gives you what looks to be the smallest smile you’ve ever seen and much like how you reacted to Satoru, you swoon for him too, heart racing in your chest. You can't help it. He’s just so cute!

“I’m happy to be here. Really lovely meeting you. I'll be seeing you again soon.”

With that, he gives you another bow and that shy smile that you can’t wait to see again. Then he’s moving past you and into the mansion to join Satoru. The cameras face you now and you mouth “wow” into the lens. When you turn back around to ready yourself for the next contestant, you hear the mansion’s door swing open behind you and what you swear is the faint sound of Satoru screaming, “NANAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII”.

You hope to know more about Nanami soon. He really seems as though he has a lot to offer once he opens up. You’d love to be the one he opens up for.

Just like after Satoru, the next person arrives shortly after Nanami and the cameras move into position quickly. The limo has barely parked when several people who are definitely not contestants (how did they all fit in there?!) jump out from the vehicle and swiftly form a line along the pathway to you.

There’s a shirtless man with heart-shaped nipples that opens the door and after one very long minute has passed, a man exits the vehicle.

Right away, you’re taken aback by how breathtaking this man is. His long black hair is lustrous, voluminous and hangs freely down his back with half of it tied up in a top knot. He’s as beautiful as the two men before him, standing tall in a dark blue form-fitted suit.

His deep violet eyes scan along his surroundings until they land on you at the end of the path, waiting for him. He meets you with a smile so sweet, it almost scares you. And as he strolls towards you, you see why. Every person who had lined the path previously falls forward as the man passes, bowing at an even more perfect 90 degrees than Nanami did just moments before. They offer him praise as he goes.

It’s freaky, downright strange. It’s almost like they worship him.

Now, while everyone in the Jujutsu world knows who Satoru Gojo is because of his reputation, he was actually quite a rare sight. Always busy, always out and about keeping Japan from being wiped from the earth. It wasn’t easy to catch sight of Satoru unless he wanted you to see him, you were a student or staff at the Tokyo campus, or unless you were an unfortunate curse coming face-to-face with him. And so, a little small town Window like yourself had no idea what he looked like in person and a brief description from Utahime hadn’t helped much.

But this man heading your way? Everyone, even Windows, knew who he was and what he looked like. His reputation preceded him, and not in a good way. His air is a lot more intimidating, menacing even. And he’s just as pretty in real life than in any picture you had seen. They did not do him justice. So you were ill-prepared when you realized that heading towards you, with the most stomach churning aura was none other than the worst Curse User of all time, Suguru Geto.

When he reaches you, without a word, he waves a hand and those kneeling behind him shoot up to standing position immediately. They chant “Thank you, Master Geto” in unison, bowing once more before they all pile into the vehicle and leave the vicinity.

It’s creepy…and intriguing all at the same time. You’d never seen anything like that before. So all intel given to Sorcerers and Windows alike weren’t exaggerating. This man really was operating as some strange cult leader. And now the show has captured all of that live on camera.

How was he even able to get on the show anyway? He’s a curse user, not a Sorcerer.

He peers down at you, brows knitted together as he takes you in. He’s quiet for quite some time. Even the crew is on edge, the tension palpable.

When Suguru meets your gaze, it’s almost as though he’s not looking at you at all. More like he’s looking past you. He raises a hand, reaching towards the side of your head, and your eyes drift shut, only for a brief second before you hear a soft whirring right behind your head, and can just make out a soft blue glow highlighting the man’s features.

It’s over as quickly as it began, and when Suguru brings his hand back, he holds a small black and gold ball in front of your face. You peer up at him again, and his eyes are closed in a pretty crescent shape as he beams down at you.

“There must be some mon– humans on staff if there are little flyheads buzzing around freely like this.” He’s making a face, like he’s holding down vomit just having to utter the word humans and for some reason this makes you laugh. Out of finding it genuinely funny? Out of fear? Out of nerves? Who knows? But, your laughter dies down after a few seconds and your eyes fall to the ball in his hand again.

“Did you just…absorb a curse?” You’d heard of his cursed technique, but obviously hadn’t seen it in action before. Until now.

Suguru chuckles softly, the sound making you shiver. You’re not sure if it’s in a good way or not. “I would need to swallow it later to truly absorb it, but I’ll spare you the sight for now.”He tucks the curse into his pocket, then he’s taking your hand in his and bringing it up to his chest where he presses his lips to the back of your hand sweetly.

Right. Him and Satoru used to be the best of friends. You’re sure they’ve used the same pick up lines on other people that they’ll probably end up using on you. You’re only hoping they’re here for genuine reasons. But more than that, you just hope that they’ll be able to coexist with each other.

“Absolutely breathtaking,” Suguru purrs, his lips curling into a bright smile. “More than I was expecting.”

You’re not sure what he means by the last part, but who cares? You’re fucking swooning again.

No wonder he and that blue eyed bastard were so close at one point. Two beautiful men that know how to say all the right things. It makes you feel shy, like a child trying to talk to her schoolyard crush and the cameras are quick to capture your expressions and broadcast them to the world.

“Thank you so much. You are, too.”

And because he’s Suguru Geto – charismatic, playful, manipulative – he leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to your cheek. It’s your first kiss of the night from any of the men so far, and this one has your stomach doing flips, has your heart crawling up your throat.

You give him a wide smile and he shakes his head like he’s just in disbelief. “Beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you acknowledge again.

“I’m so glad to be here. Can’t wait to get to know you more.”

“Likewise.”

Suguru kisses your cheek again before he waves goodbye and heads towards the mansion. You watch as he retreats, and for a second you think he doesn’t seem that bad. Except…he’s a fucking mass murderer.

You really need to pull yourself together.

There are still four more people to meet, but so far, you’re enjoying this experience. You don’t think you’ll mind meeting the others and you’re definitely looking forward to spending more time with the men already inside.

At least, you think so. Because just as the director calls “CUT” for commercial break, the hairs on the back of your neck stand high as you feel the telltale rush of two very opposite sources of cursed energy flare from inside the mansion. Those in the crew with even a smidge of cursed energy feel it too, because their heads snap over towards the building the men will reside in as well.

IN THE MANSION

“And then Yuji was like– what if we just put Panda in the exhibit? How much do you think it will freak everyone out when he stands up and just starts talking?!” Gojo speaks to Nanami enthusiastically. He’s waving his arms retelling the story, bursting into raucous laughter. “I swear that kid is hilarious!”

Nanami stares patiently at the wall ahead of him. In all honesty, he hasn’t heard a word Gojo has said. That’s usually how things go between them. Gojo rambles, Nanami grunts with feigned interest and eventually, Gojo gets bored and leaves to bother someone else. Unfortunately for him, with none of the students around or Principal Yaga, Nanami is now his sole target.

But Nanami doesn’t care about that right now. He’s thinking about you, and how he should have said more, made more of an impression. Now he’s inwardly beating himself up since he stepped into the house and was greeted by his colleague. He wonders if he’ll stand out among the other contestants. He should have put himself out there with you instead of scurrying off as soon as he had the chance.

It’s just that…you’re a lot more stunning than Nanami had anticipated and the moment he saw you, he’d reverted into formalities and awkwardness. It reminded him of how he was in high school.

Nanami is drowning out Gojo with thoughts of you and how he could possibly get more one-on-one time with you later tonight when he hears Gojo suddenly shut up. He peers up briefly, catching sight of Gojo’s scowl, brows furrowed harshly as he stares hard at the entryway. Another contestant must be here, one that Gojo isn’t particularly fond of.

And Nanami knew exactly who that would be.

The moment those soft steps carry in Curse User, Suguru Geto, Nanami instantly finds himself in the center of a pissing match of their cursed energies fighting for dominance in the room. Unlike most Sorcerers and curses, Suguru doesn’t fear Gojo in the slightest. Most people would cower away, move to the other side of the room and take a seat. But not Suguru. In fact, he strides right over to where his two old classmates sit on the sofa – Gojo on the end, Nanami in the center and now, Suguru on the other end of the sofa.

He grins tauntingly at Gojo, who holds his stare. “Nanami,” he greets, not even bothering to look at the blonde. His eyes are locked on his target. “Satoru…”

“Geto-san,” Nanami nods curtly. “Didn’t think we’d be seeing you here.”

Suguru hums cheerily. “Well, I suddenly found myself in the market for love.”

Satoru snorts, rolling his eyes. “You? Like you’d know how to love anyone besides yourself.”

Nanami sighs between the two men, already feeling his annoyance begin to build up. He had not missed these petty arguments.

“Oh, you know I’m capable of loving more than just myself,” Suguru purrs and Nanami can feel Gojo’s cursed energy waver slightly. Beside him, Suguru chuckles happily. Probably because he got the reaction he was looking for and so easily, too. “Anyway, Nanami, I’m truly surprised to see you here. You don’t strike me as someone interested in romantic relationships.”

Nanami doesn’t reply. Instead, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, feeling a headache already coming on. There were days where he had hoped to have Geto and Gojo be able to coexist in the same space again, as chaotic as they were together. But if it was going to be like this, they may need to get sent home quickly.

Wait–

Nanami’s eyes shoot open, scanning the room until his gaze falls on the bar across the massive living area. This is the perfect chance to get some time alone with his thoughts.

“Excuse me,” he interjects, pardoning himself from whatever was going on with the two men beside him.

It was time to think about how he can make a better impression, get some time with you after the others have arrived. Maybe even secure a rose tonight. He’s only interested in moving forward with you. And while Gojo and Geto are too busy taking sly digs at each other on the sofa, Nanami’s thoughts are cooking up a petty scheme to get rid of those two as soon as he can.

“You’re lucky I don’t blow a hole through your head right now, Suguru,” Satoru threatens, scowl deepening if possible.

But Suguru just smirks, leaning back against the sofa. “Well, you always were good at blowing my head, weren’t you?” He closes his eyes, smiling wide, like he’s reminiscing on some sweet memory.

It makes Satoru…feel weird. Suguru knows just how to get under his skin in ways that remind him of the old Suguru. But he’s not him anymore. Outside of this, he’s his enemy. In this house, he’s just his competition.

Satoru is here for you. He hasn’t seen his ex…friend in years and it’s bringing up all of these strange feelings that he hasn’t had to face in so long. And to make matters worse, Suguru is here for you, too. Now there’s just another person in the way of him winning your heart. Suguru was always popular with women and men.

Nanami? Satoru could absolutely win against him. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Nanami, thinks he’s great and respectable and maybe he’d be a great fit for you. But Satoru would be an even better fit for you. Perfect, even.

But with Suguru here now, there was real competition. And now The Strongest was beginning to doubt himself.

BACK OUTSIDE

“When’s the next contestant supposed to show?” The director calls to someone in the cast.

You’ve been waiting for a while now, and you’re pretty sure you should have been on commercial break twenty minutes ago.

“They’re having car issues,” someone calls back, a phone pressed to their ear.

Great, more waiting. Not that you have anywhere to be. You’re simply here to look pretty and smile when a Sorcerer shows up.

The mansion seems to have calmed down, those cursed energies dissipating and you hope that wasn’t the result of the guys killing each other in there. You don’t know all the gory details of Satoru and Suguru’s relationship. You just know they’re the strongest modern day Sorcerers at the moment, that they used to be extremely close when they were kids and then when Suguru snapped, their friendship quickly went up in flames.

If they had any contact after Suguru’s defection, you’d have no clue. But with the way those cursed energies went into overdrive the moment Suguru entered the mansion, you’re concerned with how their history will affect their time on the show.

You can’t say that you’d hate to be stuck between the middle of those two. How could you? You’re literally on a reality show about being the center of attention for multiple men! And so far, everyone is sexy and charismatic and–

The intense screech of metal scraping along the concrete disrupts your thoughts, and the cameras pan around just in time to catch a limousine rounding the corner and approaching the driveway. The rear tires are completely blown out, the metal wheels barely carrying the vehicle forward. The sounds make you want to cover your ears and hide. The car’s bumper hangs from the back, dragging and knocking loudly along the road as the car moves along. Sparks fly haphazardly across the ground and the smell of burning rubber almost has your eyes watering.

From the corner of your eye, you see another camera swinging around to catch your reaction which is that of astonishment.

“Who is this?!” You speak into the lens, eyes wide like saucers.

The sudden noise of the engine popping and sputtering, surely giving out, pulls your gaze back to the vehicle. It’s stopped for all of three seconds before one enormous fist bursts through the blacked out windows and sends shattered glass flying. Behind you, several people on the crew gasp. That same hand pats around the outside of the car, tattooed muscles flexing until it finally lands on the handle of the door. The chauffeur exits the limo and backs away as quickly and quietly as possible, abandoning their passenger.

And it isn’t until that large hand tears the entire car door from its hinges with little to no effort and tosses it aside carelessly that you see why. Out climbs the largest being you’ve ever seen in your life. No shirt – because how could you dress the four tattooed arms he possesses?! And surely wearing a shirt has to be quite uncomfortable when you have a mouth on your stomach!

It’s clear who this is, because everyone in the Jujutsu world is educated on the strongest curse to have ever existed. And yet you still can’t believe what you’re seeing with your eyes. You need someone else to confirm it for you. And so you turn your head towards the camera, staring straight into it as you shakily ask the audience…

“Is that **BLEEP** Ryoumen Sukuna?!”

377 notes · View notes

defectivevillain · 5 months

Text

whispers in the night

pairing: Shinsou Hitoshi/Reader

reader's race and gender are ambiguous; no pronouns used.

summary: When you can't fall asleep, you stumble out to the common room to get a snack—only to find Shinsou on the couch, similarly restless. After a moment's contemplation, you sit down next to him and the two of you share a quiet night in.

word count: 1.9k | ao3 version

warnings: exhaustion, fatigue, insomnia

You can’t fall asleep.

Despite how incredibly busy your day has been—what with classes, sparring, and Quirk training—you’re still left staring up at the ceiling in frustration as you attempt to go to bed. You’ve had your eyes closed for roughly an hour or so, but you haven’t fallen asleep. Gritting your teeth, you decide to get up and grab something to eat. You’re not even sure if that little trick will help you fall asleep, but at this point, you’re desperate. As you quietly walk through the halls and into the common room, you’re surprised to find that someone else is also awake. You’re less surprised when you see Shinsou sitting on the couch, looking down at his phone.

“You look like a raccoon,” Shinsou says in lieu of a greeting. You point to the dark circles under your eyes and he nods. You mumble some half-assed explanation about being tired, before deciding to reply honestly.

“That’s ironic, coming from you,” you say jokingly. Shinsou evidently expects the remark, because he simply rolls his eyes. Distracted from grabbing a snack, you move to sit next to him. The couch is surprisingly comfortable, and there are decorative pillows thrown about the cushions that Momo created a bit ago. You grab one and hold it against your chest.

“Well, dark circles are typical for me,” Shinsou remarks casually, with a sense of resigned defeat. You immediately sense what he’s implying.

“I know,” you acknowledge. He’s absolutely right, of course. You’re just not sure why you’ve been so sleepless lately. You tell him as much. “I’ve just been restless.”

Shinsou nods silently. Immediately, you feel guilty for bemoaning your lack of sleep, when Shinsou is hardly ever able to sleep. Yet here you are, complaining about the one time that you’re awake at night. An apology is on the tip of your tongue when Shinsou inexplicably leans close to you. He stretches and grabs the remote on the cushion next to you before returning his attention to the television in front of you. A familiar icon appears on the screen.

“Is that Netflix?” You ask, unable to keep the surprise from your voice. The lack of Netflix on the common room television has been a sticking point for many of your fellow classmates. You can recall countless times in which Kaminari or Sero practically begged Present Mic and Aizawa to get a shared Netflix account for the class. Their pleas never went very far, though. “Holy shit, how’d you-”

“Stole Aizawa’s password.” You stare at Shinsou, whose eyes are locked on the screen ahead. He clicks on the remote a few times, evidently selecting the right letters for the username and password. Even as he does so, it takes you several moments to process just what he said.

“You did not,” you say in disbelief.

“I did,” Shinsou grins, clicking on the yellow profile with your teacher’s name under it. Aizawa’s home screen comes up and you can’t help but laugh incredulously. Shinsou’s lips twist ever so slightly—he’s evidently proud of himself—and he turns to you. “What do you want to watch?”

The two of you eventually decide to watch The Great British Bake Off, since you don’t quite want to commit to watching something serious. Besides, you’re half-expecting that at least one of you will fall asleep. Shinsou clicks on an episode and you lean back against the couch. The pillows are strewn about the floor now; you promise yourself you’ll pick them up later.

The baking show is rather entertaining, you have to admit. Shinsou seems to think so too, as he occasionally huffs or smiles ever so slightly. You find yourself torn between watching the television and, well, watching him. The first episode passes within no time at all. Shinsou plays the next one and, in a sudden burst of spontaneity, you lean your head against the edge of your cushion. You're dangerously close to resting on Shinsou’s shoulder, but you manage to keep the distance between you.

You do notice, however, that Shinsou’s arm is hovering on the back of the couch. Once you realize that, the show is suddenly far less captivating. Your heart races as his hand falls further down the back of the couch. Blinking slowly, you turn your attention back to the program. Unfortunately, your fatigued body decides to entirely disobey you, and you feel yourself falling into Shinsou’s shoulder before you can contemplate the consequences. Thankfully, he doesn’t shove you off of him or anything. In fact, his arm falls from the back of the couch to rest around your shoulders.

You feel yourself beginning to grow tired as time passes, but you desperately want to remain awake and keep Shinsou company. It must be terribly isolating to constantly be restless at nighttime. Despite these thoughts, however, it doesn’t take long for your eyes to slip closed. You’re in a bit of an awkward position and Shinsou’s shoulder digs into your neck. Suddenly, you’re tugged to the side and into a significantly more comfortable position. You blink your eyes open briefly, surprised to find that you’re now pulled against Shinsou’s chest. Before you can overanalyze that, however, you’re drifting off again.

An immeasurable amount of time later, you're roused from slumber and lightly jostled. You feel an arm supporting your back and another under your legs. Is someone... carrying you? You try to open your eyes, but your eyelids are stinging and you soon forget to resist sleep.

The next time you wake, you find your phone alarm blaring extremely loudly. Groaning, you grab it and try to hit the snooze button. Unfortunately, it’s a bit too late for you to go back to sleep—the sheer volume of the alarm has entirely roused you from slumber. You sigh and push yourself up into a sitting position, electing to scroll through things on your phone for a few minutes. You grab your blanket and tug it up further, feeling chilly all of a sudden.

…Wait a second. Didn’t you fall asleep in the common room last night? You bite your lip and try to remember what happened. Sure enough, you went to the common room and watched TV with Shinsou. You look down at your blanket and frown. How did you end up back in your room? You definitely didn’t walk back. You try to recall the events of the last night, only to freeze upon remembering your short time awake. Someone had been carrying you.

You’re suddenly immensely grateful that you don’t have a fire Quirk, otherwise your room would be entirely doused in flames. As it is, your heart is pounding treacherously in your chest. You can’t help but think about Shinsou’s arms around your back and legs, the ease with which he lifted you...

Safe to say, you’re sufficiently frazzled for the rest of the morning. You scramble through your typical routine and grab a quick snack before deciding to go to class a bit early. Surprisingly, you’re far from the only one there. Iida is present, of course. Kirishima, Jirou, and Shinsou are all in their seats too. You greet everyone and walk over to your desk.

“How’d you sleep last night?” Kirishima asks once you sit down. He’s just so sweet. You’d been talking to him yesterday about your trouble sleeping, after all. You’re touched by his concern, of course, but his question immediately provokes what you’d been trying to forget—Shinsou carrying you back to your dorm.

“Oh, um, I slept well,” you choke out, feeling extremely flustered. You suddenly want the ground to swallow you whole. Feeling eyes on you, you turn to find Shinsou staring at you. The satisfied gleam in his eyes confirms your suspicions from before. You take a deep breath and turn back to Kirishima, getting lost in casual conversation.

Throughout the rest of class, you feel Shinsou’s gaze burning into the back of your head. When the bell finally rings, signaling the end of the period, you sidle up to him and the two of you walk out of the room together. It’s lunchtime now, but neither of you are moving towards the cafeteria with any modicum of speed. Eventually, all of your classmates pass by and Shinsou and you are left alone in the hallway.

“You didn’t have to carry me back,” you eventually say, once the tense silence between you grows to be unbearable. You can’t help but notice the furrow to Shinsou’s brows—a clear sign that he’s avoiding an answer.

For a long moment, he is entirely silent. You decide to wait for Shinsou to explain. When he finally does break his silence, he says something entirely unexpected. “What if I wanted to?”

“What?” You ask, convinced you misheard him.

“I... wanted to,” Shinsou repeats, significantly quieter this time. You blink at him a few times. Somehow, it’s still taking you a while to process just what he’s saying. When you finally comprehend his statement, your eyes widen and you stare at him in thinly-veiled surprise.

“Oh,” you remark dumbly. “Well... thanks.” Maybe I should lose sleep and come out to the common room more often, you think to yourself.

“Maybe you should,” Shinsou responds. It takes you several moments to realize that your last remark was voiced aloud and you suddenly feel like melting into an embarrassed puddle on the ground. But the expression on Shinsou’s face is nothing short of complete sincerity—coupled with an attractive confidence that you know to be a result of his extensive sparring sessions with Aizawa.

“Maybe I will,” you say with a small smile.

That night, you will venture out to the common room once more. Shinsou will be resting on the couch again and you’ll take your place beside him, before grabbing the remote and scrolling through Netflix. The two of you will stumble upon the account’s history and laugh at the shows Aizawa seems to enjoy, before choosing one to watch. This time, your head will fall on Shinsou’s shoulder much sooner; this time, he wraps an arm around your shoulder without hesitation. You’ll admit in murmurs that you enjoy spending time with him, and he’ll echo the sentiment. For a quick yet seemingly endless stretch of time, the two of you will sit in silence. Then, possessed by some otherworldly courage, you will lean close and ask to kiss him—only for him to meet you halfway and make the first move.

Then, since the both of you have horrible luck, Aizawa will walk in and interrupt you. You will try to break apart, but it’ll be too late. For a long moment, your teacher will study the both of you, before an unimpressed expression appears on his face and he mentions that he got a notification that someone was using his Netflix account. Shinsou will try to play dumb—and you’ll remain silent, out of fear for your life—before Aizawa, knowing when to give in, huffs and bids you both a good night.

But right now it’s lunchtime, and all the words you want to say feel trapped under your tongue. And before you can summon the courage to even begin telling Shinsou just what he means to you, Kaminari appears out of nowhere and slings his arms around you both. The moment between Shinsou and you is temporarily broken, but you smile with the knowledge that you’ll reunite with him in the quiet night once more.

thanks for reading! <3

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#defectivevillain #x reader #gn reader #male reader #transmasc reader #nb reader #shinsou x reader #shinso x reader #shinsou x male reader #bnha #mha #mha x reader #bnha x reader

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buckyseddie · 1 year

Text

mine

pairings — rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary — in which, when rafe attempts to start over, he finds a mysterious girl who leaves him more and more curious about her after they meet. based on the song mine by taylor swift!

word count — 6.6k.

warnings — rafe left home and is more mentally stable and trying to be better, angst, fluff, reader has a bad past and family issues, use of pet-names [princess, baby, angel, sweetheart], hugs from the back, neck kisses, picnic dates, slight hints and mentions of fireworks and fourth of july, forehead kisses, forehead touches, kisses, rafe refers to reader as his girl a few times, reader calls rafe by his last name a few times, mentions of bills, arguments and fights, slight mentions of both of them getting mean in the fight, rain conversations, reader's big abandonment and trust issues are heavily mentioned, the reader and rafe get an unexpected and harsh visit from her parents, big mentions and hints of mental health, mentions and hints of rafe's dad's abuse in the past, reader has an episode and she has one with a panic episode with it, big mentions of reader and rafe visiting the obx and him being on good terms with sarah and the pogues because i wanted peace in this, mentions of rafe going back to college and working at a cafe.

notes — i've been wanting to do this one for a while, so here it is! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

main masterlist

EVERYONE WANTS A FRESH START.

in this case, this means two polar opposites from completely different worlds.

all rafe wanted to do, was leave his life and past in outer banks behind — as far as he was concerned, the old rafe was gone.

after taking consequences for his actions and getting some much needed help, rafe moved out of his dad’s house and went back to college.

"ah-ah, ah-ah. ah-ah, ah-ah."

then, he got his life together and was ready enough for a job.

“you were in college, working part-time, waiting tables. left a small town, never looked back. i was a flight risk with a fear of fallin’, wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts.”

as great as it was that rafe was finally settled in the old town of charleston, things were about to change.

he was working, and one day, a girl — a very mysterious one, might i add — decided to stop at the cafe for some peace and quiet.

it wasn’t the first time a girl — or girls, if i’m being completely honest — stopped there.

in fact, loads of girls stopped there daily, most usually only stopping by to fawn over rafe.

but, he didn’t pay any mind to the attention — he was used to getting attention from girls from his experience as a kook back in outer banks.

and honestly? none of the girls that he’d seen stop at the cafe ever intrigued him or left him speechless.

well, at least until he met her.

there was something different about [y/n] — she had a certain distant emptiness to her.

she was reserved and quiet and shy, almost always making sure to do everything right, in fear of everything crashing down on her.

as she walks over to a table and sits down and opens up a book from her bag, rafe glances up and it’s as if time stops when their eyes make contact, despite how cheesy and corny that sounds.

he couldn’t believe his eyes — she was beautiful, of course.

but, she had that kind of side of her that he could tell she didn’t think it herself.

an easy-going smile is thrown her way as he makes his way over to her table, trying to ignore the shocking nerves coming from him.

“hi. would you like something to drink?” he asks in a surprisingly calm tone as he pulls out his notepad and pen, awaiting her answer.

looking up anxiously, she gulps, trying not to let the intimidation of the gorgeous man in front of her get to her.

“could i just get some water?” she murmurs so softly that rafe almost doesn’t even hear her.

he nods, watching her curiously. “sure. will that be all for your order?” he questions, raising a brow at her.

as she notices the way he’s watching her, like he’s seeing right through her ‘i’m fine’ facade and her soul, she nods shakily as a shiver rushes through her spine.

“y—yes. thank you.” she mumbles as he nods and says something about her water being out as soon as possible and puts away his pen and notepad.

but, as he walks back to get her water, he turns around and looks at her once more, this time noticing the scared look in her eyes — it's obvious that there’s more to her than she's revealing.

“i say, ‘can you believe it?’ as we’re lyin’ on the couch. the moment, i could see it. yes, yes, i can see it now.”

with a content sigh, [y/n] moves into rafe’s welcoming arms.

as she lays her head on his chest, his chin resting on top of her head, he wraps his arms around her and a sense of calmness — something neither of them have ever felt in their entire lives — fills their hearts.

it was just them, lying on his couch in the living room of his apartment, relaxing.

it’d been a few weeks, after he’d gotten her number and asked her out on a date — they’d been on countless dates, even though she was a little hesitant to get involved with him because of her past.

and now, they're almost completely comfortable around each other.

although, both rafe and [y/n] still have doubts and hesitance on whether this new and recent relationship will work, or even whether they can let their guards down around and let each other in.

but as they hold each other for a moment longer, a startling thought pops into [y/n]’s head and it causes a shaky breath to leave her lips.

noticing the change in her, rafe moves his chin away from her head and angles his head in a way that helps him see her face completely. he also notices her tearful gaze.

“hey… what’s wrong?” he questions, brushing her hair out of her face.

another sigh later, and she’s shaking her head and waving him off. “i—i’m fine. don’t worry about me.” her voice breaks and trembles, causing him to lift her chin up, in order for her to look at him in the face.

he gives her a pointed look, hoping it’ll coax her into telling him what’s wrong.

with another sigh, she finally voices her thoughts, “i just realized that i’m still scared that you’ll find something wrong with me — that you don’t like — and will either hurt me or leave me… ” she trails off, some of the tears actually escaping her hurt eyes.

realization hits him as his eyes soften. “i’m not going to leave or hurt you, okay? let’s just see how this goes.” he murmurs seriously, rubbing a comforting hand over her arms to soothe the upset mood she's in.

sighing once more, she nods, before snuggling further into his embrace, eyes closing.

“do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. you are the best thing, that’s ever been mine.”

loud giggles leave her lips as he playfully chases her into the water.

“rafe! n—no! don’t you dare think about doing what i think you’re about to do!” [y/n] exclaims, noticing the mischievous glint in his eyes as she holds a hand up in the air.

he smirks in amusement.

then, he runs toward her — despite, her moving back every time he gets closer — and grabs her, lifting her up and running further into the water, before throwing her into the deeper part of the water.

she goes under for a moment, before eventually coming back up.

“r—rafe!” she exclaims, coughing a bit, since some water went into her nose and mouth when she went under.

she glares at him, shivering and trying to remain upset with him.

but then, he breaks into that smile — you know which one, the one that would make any girl’s heart swell — and her pissed-off resolve starts to fade away.

then, he laughs.

“you’re so cute when you try to act mad.” he murmurs, moving closer to her as she moves to stand up, still shivering.

she groans, a smile trying to desperately make its way onto her face.

“rafeeee! you can’t say stuff like that… ” she mumbles, full-on blushing now.

he chuckles at her reaction, before moving his hands up her arms in a repetitive motion, in order to warm her up better.

then, he moves his arm to put around her shoulder and starts walking closer to the shore with her.

as they finally sit back down on the towel, that’s near the water, [y/n] snuggles further into rafe’s chest, a content sigh leaving her lips as she begins to feel at peace.

“thank you.”

“for what?” rafe looks down at her, eyebrows furrowing as he becomes confused on what she’s thanking him for.

[y/n] hesitates for a second. “for showing me how to live life without me feeling like i don’t deserve it.” she murmurs quietly, her voice coming out small.

after hearing her statement, realization hits rafe of what she means — she's talking about her old home life, before she moved away from her family.

her father was a workaholic and not the best person in the world, always snapping at her and her mother.

not only that, but her family was always, always fighting.

and she was always the blame when it came to her family defending their actions — she never got to live the life she deserved.

but now, she can. with rafe.

“of course. you deserve to live your life to the fullest and to always be happy, okay?” he murmurs softly before placing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“flash forward and we’re taking on the world together. and there’s a drawer of my things at your place. you learn my secrets and you figure out why i’m guarded. you say you’ll never make my parents’ mistakes.”

rafe watches in concern as [y/n] struggles to get off of the phone with her family — a family she honestly wants nothing to do with.

with a heavy sigh, she finally hangs up, before making her way over to the kitchen’s table.

“god… ” she mutters, wiping away the fresh tears away from her cheeks.

“angel, what’s going on?” rafe murmurs, moving to sit beside her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

[y/n] sighs, refusing to look him in the eye — she knows that the second she looks at him, the truth will come tumbling out.

though, rafe doesn’t take offense to this and simply waits for when she’s ready to talk.

and when she does finally look over at him, the tears fall and the stuttering and trembling statements of the truth come out.

rafe’s eyes soften as he calmly and patiently listens to her.

“princess, i hope you know that i would never hurt you like your parents. and i’ll never hurt you the way your dad hurt your mom.” he murmurs seriously, moving his hand to cup one of her cheeks.

“you p—promise?” she trembles, more tears falling.

he nods. “always.”

then, he pulls her in for a hug, allowing her to let everything out.

“but we got bills to pay. we got nothing figured out, when it was hard to take. yes, yes, this is what i thought about.”

she lets out a light giggle when she feels those familiar arms wrapping around her waist as she continues to try to think straight on the numbers she's trying to put together.

"what're you doing?" he murmurs, kissing her neck, before glancing down at the paper that she's holding over the table.

a quick sigh in defeat leaves her lips when he pulls away from her and takes the paper from her and folds it, before putting it in his back pocket.

"you don't need to worry about that right now." he says seriously as she turns around to face him with a stern expression.

he rolls his eyes at her determination and stubbornness. "don't give me that look, sweetheart."

she opens her mouth to defend herself, but he interrupts her, "you don't have to worry about that."

she raises her hands up in the air in clear frustration. "but, i live here! i can't just live here — with you — and not pay for it!"

rafe rolls his eyes — again — at her, becoming frustrated himself. "princess, you don't have to pay for that."

she groans, clenching her eyes shut for a moment, before opening up her eyes and marching over to him.

"yes," she says, tapping his chest with her pointer finger, before continuing on, "i do. i've been living with you for a long while!"

"and," she says, motioning to the living room, where a lot of her stuff is sitting in boxes. "i already have all of my stuff here!"

rafe sighs, knowing that she has a right to feel this way, especially with the way she was raised.

giving her a serious look, he places each of his hands over her shoulders, trying to calm her down and ease her worries. "okay." he simply says.

she knits her eyebrows together in confusion and shock. "okay?"

he nods, chuckling at her shocked reaction. "yes, okay. we'll figure this out. but, for right now, let's just relax and take it one step at a time, okay?"

with a quiet sigh, she nods, letting him lead her into the living room.

"do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

it was meant to be a quiet, romantic picnic by the water. but, it becomes something else entirely.

something much more carefree and exciting.

rafe had planned this for the past few days, knowing that despite he'd been trying to get her to relax about the bills, she was going to be stressed no matter what.

but, that didn't mean that he couldn't give her a nice evening to distract her.

it really was meant to be serious, but that's exactly what [y/n] didn't want. because she wanted the distraction too.

and she's not quite sure how it happens, but she finds herself letting her guard down and wanting to live in excitement.

it's hard to explain, but rafe makes her happy and he makes her feel like she can actually live without everything she's been through holding her back.

that's exactly why when rafe hands her a bowl of grapes, she grabs a few and jokingly throws them at him.

she giggles when she sees the shocked look on his face, but then a teasing glint fills his eyes and a mischievous smile forms on his lips.

"oh, you're gonna pay for that one, sweetheart!" he says, getting up and preparing to get to her, causing her to squeal in both excitement and shock.

she giggles as she gets up and runs away from him, an insane amount of happiness and peace filling her at the current situation — it's moments like this with rafe that makes life feel worth living.

as she keeps running through the spacious field with tall grass and weeds, she glances back again, only to not see him.

this causes her to stop in confusion and look around.

only when she looks in front of her, does she see him jokingly running towards her.

"no!" she squeals, moving to run in the opposite direction, but he catches up to her and is able to pull her to his chest by wrapping his arms around her waist.

she giggles, sighing in defeat, before groaning in feigned-sadness.

"you got me, cameron."

he chuckles, leaning closer to kiss her shoulder and inhaling her scent, taking in the moment. "yes, i do."

the love in his voice causes her to turn around in his hold, his hands holding her waist as she cups his face in her hands.

maybe she's just in the moment — she doesn't know, and she doesn't care — but she murmurs those three words in honesty, "i love you."

he's shocked for a moment, before leaning closer to press a kiss to her forehead. "i love you, too."

a smile takes over both of their lips.

"do you remember all the city lights on the water? you saw me start to believe for the first time. you made a rebel out of a careless man's careful daughter. you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

a big smile on her face is what distracts rafe from the booming and bright fireworks.

that big smile, paired with the excited and awed glint in her eyes as she admires how the fireworks shine and reflect through the water makes his heart nearly stop.

he should be enjoying the celebratory fireworks, but he's only focused on her, because seeing her happy is everything he's ever wanted — possibly from the first moment he met her, even when she refused to get to know him in the beginning because of how scared she was to let him in, after everything she's been through.

noticing how quiet he is, [y/n] turns to face him, adorable confusion in her eyes as she knits her eyebrows together in concern.

"rafe? what's wrong?"

he's quiet for a moment, before shaking his head with a happy smile on his lips. "nothing."

"you sure?" she asks, still very much confused and worried.

that excitement that she expressed before is long gone now as she starts to ramble, "if something's wrong, we can go. it's okay if you're not feeling these fireworks anymore."

rafe immediately shakes his head, moving to kiss her forehead. "everything's fine. i promise."

"okay... then, what is it? what's on your mind?" she asks, tilting her head to the side in further confusion.

he chuckles, smiling down at her. "i just like seeing my girl happy."

not expecting this, [y/n]'s mouth falls open for a second, before her face turns red, clearly loving being called his girl.

he smirks at this, fully knowing his effect on her.

she sighs and leans her forehead over his, not caring who sees. "rafe, i hope you know you've changed my life and i'm so much more happier for it — with you in it."

those words bring a big smile to his lips. "good, i'm glad."

"oh-oh, oh."

one thing she loves most about being with rafe is how complete and happy she feels around him.

because despite the fact that she believed that she'd be stuck in her trauma for the rest of her life, he's shown her that there's more to life and that she wants what he's given to her.

"and i remember that fight, 2:30 a.m. as everything was slipping right out of our hands. i ran out crying and you followed me out into the street. braced myself for the goodbye. 'cause it's all i've ever known. then you took me by surprise. you said, 'i'll never leave you alone.' (oh)."

it was over something stupid — some small argument that turned into a screaming match.

it was something that caused the both of them to lose their control and snap at the other — that let them lose their cool.

it started with [y/n] just asking him a question — and of course it was about the bills because she wanted to do what she could to pay for her living with him.

then, he'd gotten frustrated. and what was once bickering, turned into something much more worse.

and it's not like they're angry at each other.

[y/n] just couldn't shake the feeling of being like a burden and rafe just wanted to show her that that's not how he sees or feels about her.

and it just didn't feel good for either of them — the insults and frustrated comments they made towards each other only made things worse.

when rafe opens his mouth to say something else, [y/n] quickly turns around and walks over to the door.

this throws him off, making him gape at her in surprise.

"[y/n], where are you going?" he asks, getting up and starting to step towards her, but he doesn't get close to her when she quickly twists the door knob and pulls the door open.

she runs out, and despite the pouring rain, she races into it, running until her feet hurt, to the other side of the apartment.

with breathless gasps and sobs leaving her body, she stops short and falls to her knees with her hands quickly hiding her face behind them with her shoulders shaking.

all she can think about is that she's probably messed everything up.

she just had to get involved with the bills and bring up — once again, for the millionth time — how she needs to pay her share for staying with him.

all she can think about is that as soon as she goes back into his apartment, he's going to break up with her and kick her out with a broken heart.

footsteps stop from behind her, but she doesn't hear it because she's distracted with the negative thoughts in her head.

then, a touch to her shoulder shakes her out of her own head and causes her to shakily stand up and turn around.

but, she doesn't look at him, she keeps her head downcast, refusing to see that disappointed look that's most likely on his face right now.

"hey, look at me." he murmurs softly, his heart hurting at how upset she is — how upset he's made her.

she still doesn't, however.

with a deep sigh, he lifts her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "i'm sorry, baby. i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you."

he frowns as she takes a deep breath, the tears spilling onto her cheeks.

a shaky breath leaves his lips and his eyes immediately soften, gently swiping away the tears with a tender expression on his face.

"i love you so much, princess. it was never my intention to get so cruel. please, know that." he murmurs, his face quickly forming with an expression of guilt and regret.

she sighs, finally finding the courage to speak, "it's not your fault, rafe. this is on me. i'm the one that's been bombarding you with letting me help with the bills — i just kept pushing."

he tilts his head slightly to the side in confusion.

when she doesn't say anything else, he shakes his head. "hey, this isn't your fault. i shouldn't have gotten so mad at you."

her bottom lip trembles, hating how upset she's getting around him.

"it is, though. i've messed everything up and our relationship is going to fall apart because i always destroy everything i touch." she whispers this emotional statement, but rafe hears it clearly.

he sighs, stepping closer to her and gently cupping her cheeks in his hands. "baby, when you told me the truth about your family, i told you then that i'd never hurt you like that." he says seriously, causing her to knit her eyebrows together.

"i promised you that. and that includes not leaving you, okay?" he murmurs, frowning when he sees more tears fill her eyes.

"i'm not leaving you — ever. i meant it when i said i loved you, and i still do."

she still doesn't believe it for a second, but when he doesn't say anything else and his face stays with an expression of honesty, she changes her mind — she believes him now.

"you promise that?" she asks quietly, her voice tight.

he nods, his face still filled with honesty, before he pulls her into him and wraps his arms around her body, while her face falls into his chest and her arms go around his back.

"we're going to figure this out, i promise."

shockingly, those words do just enough to comfort her in the moment.

"you said, 'i remember how we felt, sitting by the water. and every time i look at you, it's like the first time. i fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter. she is the best thing that's ever been mine.'"

it was unexpected to say the least.

she didn't even know how they found her — she hadn't told many people from her old town where she'd moved.

but, somehow, they found her.

the only thing she hates most, is that rafe gets dragged into it — she doesn't want this for him.

but, she and rafe had gone out, to go get some breakfast and then get some groceries, since they've been running low on a lot of things.

and on their way home, [y/n] almost trips, causing rafe to immediately catch her in his arms when they both realize that it's because one of her shoes is untied.

as rafe bends down to tie her shoes, she rolls her eyes at his joking manners.

"there you go, my lady!" he says with a joking tone of voice as he stands back up.

she giggles, rolling her eyes at him. "you're so silly right now, rafe cameron."

he smiles, happy to see her smile as he leans in to place a kiss on her forehead.

despite the fact that they're in the middle of the path of the sidewalk, the couple doesn't even take notice of the people walking past them and giving them dirty looks.

"you're so cute." he murmurs, pulling her body into his and wrapping one of his arms around hers, before pressing a tender kiss to her forehead.

this only causes her to giggle in response, a happy smile taking over on her face.

"you really are, though." he says when he pulls away from her.

she shrugs, not quite believing him herself.

he sighs, rolling his eyes at her clear refusal to believe him.

"you are, sweetheart," he says seriously, now moving his hands to hold her face in his hands. "you are quite literally the best thing to ever happen to me."

her mouth falls open in surprise, before her cheeks flush red and a small smile forms on her lips.

"you really mean that?" she asks softly, tilting her head to the side and watching him closely.

he nods quietly, causing a happy glint to fill her eyes and for her smile to turn into something bigger.

"i feel the same about you, cameron."

the both of them find themselves stuck in the moment, but when someone else passes them, they remember where they are.

rafe steps away from her, but not before intertwining their hands together and leading her down the pathway that's near the apartment building.

but, when they finally get there, two people standing outside makes [y/n] freeze in place.

rafe turns to face her with concern on his face. "hey, what's wrong?" he asks, noticing what she's looking at, making him turn to look too.

not knowing who they are, he turns back to face her. "who are they? do you know them?"

she gulps nervously as the unknown couple starts walking towards them.

catching rafe's nervous face, she quietly explains in a tight voice, "they're my parents."

rafe's once concerned face shifts into one of instinctive-protectiveness.

when he turns back around, her parents finally step in front of them.

[y/n] gulps nervously, barely even noticing the way rafe steps in front of her protectively with one of his arms in front of her — she's too distracted.

"you need to leave." rafe says, before either of [y/n]'s parents can speak first.

her mother is startled, whereas her father becomes quickly irritated. "who do you think you are? we're only here to speak to our daughter!"

her mother, despite everything she's put [y/n] through, nervously touches her ex-husband's shoulder to stop him from starting anything, especially in public.

he, however, harshly shrugs her hand off of his shoulder with an angry look in his eyes.

rafe turns to check on his girlfriend, only to notice the scared and nervous look in her eyes.

seeing this only makes him even more irritated — he hates to see her happy mood from before become sour and sad.

"you seriously need to go. you don't get to pop up back into her life after putting her through hell." he tries his best to stay calm.

this only angers [y/n]'s father; he scoffs angrily, motioning to his daughter. "[y/n], tell this idiot to leave and let us talk!"

[y/n]'s mother winces, nervously glancing around them, noticing that people, who're passing by, are stopping to watch.

somehow, though, [y/n] finds the courage to shake her head insistently. "no. he stays."

this only aggravates her father even more.

"are you really going to let him talk to us like this?!"

she flinches, stepping back.

however, seeing this is just enough for rafe. "you guys need to go. [y/n] has moved on from what you guys put her through and she doesn't need this or any more surprise visits. she doesn't owe you anything."

her father goes to say more, but his ex-wife stops him by grabbing his shoulder to hold him back.

rafe turns back to face [y/n], grabbing her hand and holding it in his own gently.

a soft look fills his face as he speaks his next words, "your daughter is an amazing woman, despite how much you've hurt her. and i love her," he says, causing her to smile in appreciation and love, before he turns back to face her parents again. "and she doesn't need this from you."

"so, do her a favor and leave. and don't come back." he says tensely, still holding her back from behind her.

"excuse me?!" [y/n]'s father exclaims angrily, moving to step forward, not scaring rafe one bit, considering he's use to abusive men like his father.

rafe stays standing in front of his girlfriend in a protective stance, but her mother is the one who reacts before her ex-husband can.

a look of defeat fills her face as she struggles to pull him away from his daughter and her boyfriend.

"let's just go. this was a mistake." she says, still struggling to hold him back.

finding the courage, [y/n] says the next thing that — shockingly — convinces him to leave, "dad, please. just go," she anxiously flinches when she sees the angry look in his eyes, after what she says next, "i'm sorry, but i don't want anything to do with either of you. and you both owe it to me to do that for me."

with a shocked expression, he lets his ex-wife pull him away from them.

when they're finally gone, rafe and [y/n] turn to each other, allowing her the final moment to break.

she drops the grocery bags to the ground, beginning to breathe heavily with tears spilling to her cheeks.

rafe sighs, knowing what she needs as he pulls her into his chest, dropping his own bags to the ground gently.

"it's okay, baby. they're gone." he murmurs quietly, finally wrapping his arms around her body and allowing her to feel what she needs to.

"hold on, make it last. hold on, never turn back. (hold on), you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. (hold on), you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

it wasn't a good time. not for either of them.

[y/n] knew that getting into a relationship so soon with rafe was bound to cause some issues for her.

especially with how she struggled in the beginning to open up and let him in and to begin to love him because that would mean letting down her guard and getting attached to him, until he'd eventually leave, because that's all that ever happens with her.

but, rafe is different — he promised he'd never leave or hurt her, and he meant that, and he still does.

it was just one of those days with an intense episode and this time, she can't control it.

and rafe having his own experience with mental health is able to see it from a mile away. and he's able to be there for her — and refuses to leave her — despite what she expects.

he walks past the hallway of the apartment, only to find her on the floor, against the couch, in the living room.

she's shaking and her face is practically beat red from crying and her breathing is panicked.

"baby?" he calls, causing her to immediately glance up in surprise.

her mouth falls open, her eyes filled with panic, but she quickly looks down and hides her face behind her hands.

"i'm fine, rafe. just leave me alone." she says, loud enough for him to hear, hoping that he'll listen because there's no way he'll still see her the same if he witnesses any more of this episode that she's clearly having right now.

this doesn't do anything to deter him.

in fact, it only concerns him more as he races over to her in concern.

her breathing only becomes much more heavy and rushed as he kneels in front of her.

"princess, talk to me." he murmurs quietly, internally struggling on how to be there for her without setting her off — he knows too well how it feels to be so consumed with pain, but to snap at anyone because of it.

she doesn't say anything, but her hands shake as she desperately tries to hold in everything she feels, in order to not snap at her boyfriend.

"hey," he murmurs, finally reaching over to gently pull her hands away from her face. "you can talk to me. you don't have to go through this alone." he murmurs, quickly becoming much more worried when he sees the way she's struggling to breathe.

the look in his eyes that are filled with both concern and love gives her the courage to finally talk, "r—rafe, i can't... i can't b—breathe... "

that pressure on her chest becomes incredibly tighter as she clenches her eyes shut in further panic.

he sighs, soothingly running one of his hands over one side of her hair in worry.

"okay... do you know if you're having a panic attack or anxiety attack, or is this an episode?" he asks genuinely, grabbing one of her hands and rubbing his thumb over it soothingly as he waits for her answer.

she shakes her head in more stress, shaking. "i—i don't know... i think... i—it might be b—both."

rafe sighs stressfully, before letting go of her hand to move to sit beside her.

"okay," he says in determination to help her as he grabs her hands to hold gently. "what i want you to do, is breathe with me, okay?"

she breathlessly nods, her eyes following his hand that's taking one of hers to hold over his chest and over his heart.

he counts to three, before nodding along with her as he starts to breathe calmly and deeply.

a shaky breath leaves her lips as she breathes deeply and calmly with him, but it doesn't feel like she's actually breathing on the inside.

noticing this, rafe nods, still very much determined. "okay, this is okay," he murmurs, holding her hand with his over hers that's over his heart. "just keep going, okay? you can do this."

she nods, still struggling to breathe with searing tears falling repetitively.

"it's okay. just close your eyes, and focus on my heartbeat and just try to breathe." he murmurs, trying to ignore how worried he is about her — he needs to be strong for her to get through this.

closing her eyes, she tries to take a deep breath and listens to the calm and normal beating of his heart.

after a while, she begins to calm down with her breaths returning to normal.

taking another deep breath, she sighs in relief and leans into him. "thank you, rafe."

he nods, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

after a few more minutes, she pulls away from him with an embarrassed expression clear on her face.

"i'm sorry. i hate that you saw me like that." she apologizes, glancing down at her now fidgeting hands, feeling deep in her bones that he'll see her completely different, now that he's seen her in this state.

rafe shakes his head at her, grabbing one of her hands with one of his and lifting her chin up with the other. "hey, don't apologize."

she opens her mouth to say more, but he cuts her off, "you're my girl, baby. when you hurt, i hurt. this is what i'm here for."

his words warm her heart and tears fill her eyes.

"you promise that you don't see me differently now?" she asks in barely a whisper.

moving his hands to her cheeks, he smiles at her with a fond smile. "baby, there's not a single thing in the entire world that could ever make me see you differently other than the girl i'm in love with and love with my whole heart."

a small, audible gasp leaves her lips at hearing that statement — this is the first time he's ever admitted to being in love with her.

i mean, sure, he's told her countless times that he loves her, but he's never told her until now that he's in love with her.

"really?" she asks in a whisper, once again.

he nods, smiling at the happy smile that takes over her face.

with no other words exchanged, [y/n] turns to lean her body against him again, only this time they're cuddling each other and closer to each other more than before.

"do you believe it? (yeah, yeah, yeah). we're gonna make it now, (yeah, yeah, yeah). and i can see it, (yeah, yeah). i can see it now."

"are you sure about this?" rafe asks her, his voice filled with nerves.

she turns around to face him, immediately noticing how nervous he is.

"as long as you are," she says, placing her hands on each side of his neck as he leans his body against the side of his car. "seriously, you tell me right now, if you're having doubts. we can always do this a different time."

she is nothing but supportive, something he notices immediately.

the situation that's stressing him out in question? it's about visiting outer banks, to meet with his sister and her friends.

things have been better with them, after he got the help he needed and helped pay for the actions he committed.

but, being on good terms with them isn't what's worrying him — it's the fact that he's going to have to run into his father at some point.

now, the truth is, rafe told [y/n] the truth about everything that happened in the obx when the two of them started getting really serious — he didn't want to lie to her.

but, another thing he's worried about, is him introducing [y/n] to everyone — he worries that they'll think that he doesn't deserve her.

because if they believe that, then he'll have to believe it too.

but, seeing the lost look in his eyes — which is clearly telling her that he's stuck in his head right now — [y/n] catches his attention by wrapping her arms around his neck.

as he wraps his arms around her waist, she leans closer to him, leaning her forehead over his, before pulling away with an infectious smile.

"it's going to be okay. but, it's your decision," she murmurs seriously. "but, if we do go, just know that i'll be there with you the whole time — you won't have to go through this alone."

her words are what helps him make his decision.

"if you're with me, i think we can go."

"yeah?" she asks, just to make sure.

"yeah." he says, confirming it with a smile.

a big smile spreads over her lips, nodding in clear excitement.

"okay," she says in confirmation. "let's go, then."

with that, she pulls away from him, giving him a look that really does prove that every word she said to him is something that she means completely.

this is all he needs to agree.

before they go, however, he pulls her back towards her to press a sweet kiss to her lips — one that she returns.

she pulls away with a big smile. "i love you, cameron."

he laughs in agreement. "and i love you."

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flamebearrel · 1 month

Text

“But Kris, if I wanted to watch Anim vs. with all the different series how should I even go about it??”

It largely depends on the topics and cast you’re interested in seeing. The show is split into three subseries as well as the occasional standalone episode: Animator vs. Animation (the original created in 2006-7 by Alan Becker alone), Animation vs. Minecraft (the longest and most popular, shorts stemming off a standalone from 2015), and Animation vs. Education (the newest from 2023, visualizing high-level STEM concepts)

Personally, I think core AvA is required reading for anyone who has appreciation for past eras of the internet, UI, or principles and genres of animation. AvM and AvE are equal in quality but honestly you won’t appreciate them as much if you aren’t familiar with the topics they cover. Alan and his team do try to visually introduce things step by step, though, so you can at least get a general idea of what you’re looking at

Besides that, core AvA specifically follows the Hollow-Heads, hand-drawn stick figures created by the Animator, “noogai”/Alan. In particular you have The Chosen One (shortened to Chosen, Cho or TCO) and The Second Coming (aka Second, Sec, TSC or Orange). TSC is the de facto main character and the only one appearing in all three series, while TCO and the Animator are exclusive to the original.

The SticksFight squad - the four sticks originating from sticksfight.com and named after their colors - have developed distinct personalities as the main cast of AvM, but only take a collective side role in main AvA (Yellow has a slightly larger role than the others). Here’s a summary of their individual personalities so you know what to look for in their smaller appearances

Red - Impulsive and energetic, always the first to jump into action and with a soft heart for creatures and beasties. He’s a little simple when it comes to technical things, but excels with reading the people around him, then building off of their quirks. Since the rest of the group babies him a bit, he puts in extra physical work to prove he can hold his own. Red also tends to play around with new or out-of-the-box solutions - knowledge that extends to his pranks. Most ready to fight with his fists or use heavy-hitters like maces and clubs. (Good intro/focus eps: The Rediscovery, Texture Pack, Monster School, The Prank)

Blue - A mellow fellow! Blue is one with nature and focuses on farming, cooking, and potionology. Due to her pacifistic tendencies, Blue prefers to reason things out or find other solutions rather than fighting, but will throw herself into the face of danger for others. Otherwise she takes up ranged weapons like guns and bows. She’s detail- and aesthetic-oriented as well as graceful, but doesn’t often step outside what she knows. A bit of an addiction to nether wart, which is somewhere between an unusual snack and a drug. (Good intro/focus eps: Potions, The Piglin War, The Chef, Blue’s New Superpower)

Yellow - She loves more than anything to get down to the root of things, and that makes her the group’s engineer! …And a bit of a troublemaker, paying more attention to the thrill of a discovery than the consequences. Yellow tries to find fairness and justice for friend and foe alike. While they have a reliable, supportive demeanor, they’re also very peppy, excitable and tough with how they stand strong in dire situations. Often her fighting style takes place behind the scenes, using things like explosives or a command-casting staff. (Good intro/focus eps: The Roller Coaster, Command Blocks, Lucky Blocks, AvArcade Games)

Green - Originally the weakest on the team, but has since come into his own after a lot of reflex training (read: getting tossed around). Green has great adaptability to learning new techniques and getting creative, particularly with styles of music and architecture. He loves the spotlight and usually competes with the others or takes the chance to show off; however, he also cares deeply about welcoming in those he meets. Dashes and zips around all the time during battle, usually via fishing rod-grappling hook. (Good intro/focus eps: AvYouTube, Note Blocks, PvP, The Dolphin Kingdom)

If you’re just gonna watch the REQUIRED ones this is what I recommend:

AvA s1 (1-4, previously I-IV)

AvMinecraft (original)

AvYouTube

AvA s2 (5-8, previously “shorts” combining into V)

AvMath

AvA s3 (9-ongoing)

That way you get the introduction of both subseries, with how each establishes the cast/direction, as well as one standalone. I put vs. YT here since it best fits the theme imo but you could go with vs. Pokémon or vs. Arcade Games if you prefer

If you’re willing to take on AvM/the rest of the series this is pretty much the order of the timeline:

AvA s1

AvM (original)

AvYouTube

AvM shorts s1 (1-14)

AvLeague of Legends (required for an AvM character’s development)

AvM shorts s2 (15-19)

AvA s2

Other standalones

AvM shorts s3 (20-30)

AvE (ongoing)

AvA s3 (ongoing)

AvM shorts s4 (ongoing)

Or just follow my playlist!!!

#id in alt text #kris pratt-les on #kris liveblogs on #anim vs #animator vs animation #animation vs minecraft #animation vs education #alan becker #answering the questions no one asked for #tldr: everybody watch ava. watch avm if you like minecraft or want to see more of the chars hanging out. watch ave for more cool fights #I almost feel bad not giving second and chosen their own descriptions but they don’t really need them if you go through just the main show #also a little note - in commentary and reaction videos alan refers to all the characters by he/him #but the series itself has little to no spoken dialogue and only tco is referred to as 'he' and tsc as 'it' once by the animator #they’re essentially free to interpret otherwise and as such I’m doing so with my interpretation here

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chloe-skywalker · 10 months

Text

Better Man - Jaime Lannister

Jaime x fem!reader ! Stark

Warnings: GOT

Word count: 1, 037

Summary: Before the battle against the white walkers Jaime has a long time coming conversation with Y/n.

Authors Note: I honestly wrote this as I was watching the show and this was the first Game of Thrones imagine I wrote (its not the first to be posted). I honestly don’t know where I planned this to take place so I put it towards the end of the series.

P.s - I didn’t watch the show as it was premiering live but I watched it for the first time in October 2022 and I finished it in 2 weeks. I loved it, great show. I was sad that each season only had 10 episodes or less.

Masterlist

Game Of Thrones Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“You're quite the knife thrower, Lady Stark.” Jaime stated as he strutted over to her. They weren’t that far outside the walls of Winterfell, but they were alone.

“And I hear you're quite the swordsman, Ser Jaime.” Y/n replied picking up another knife, he had startled her when he spoke. It had been dead silent before he spoke, but she didn’t show that he had startled her.

Jaime nodded with a cocky smirk. “My reputation precedes me.”

“I would hope not all of it.” Y/n said looking at him, noticing his expression fall at her words. “Well, people don’t have the nicest things to say about you, your personality or your family.”

Jaime squinted his eyes before nodding, but he decided to lighten the mood with his answer. “Personality? I presumed I didn’t have one.”

He to had heard the rumors that she spoke of so he knew what she meant with her words.

Y/n laughed at his response, at least he could joke about it. Then again he was use to insults by now, wasn’t he?

“As for my family, I’m not my father or siblings.” He spoke again, approaching her step by step. Once he was right in front of her he leaned in and spoke seductively. “How about you make up your own mind about me?”

The two of them always seemed to flirt in each other's company, but it could never go far and they never had the time to really get to know each other either.

“I’d love to, but we never seem to have the time now do we?” Y/n decided to tease him, even though it did hold truth. When had they ever had the time? For yours it was one thing after another.

“I would make the time-” Jaime went to answer but she cut him off before he could finish.

“I don’t think your sister would appreciate that.” Y/n gave him a sad smug expression.

“Cersei doesn’t control me.” He growled lowly.

“But doesn’t she?” Y/n raised her eyebrows at his reply. She knows what she’s seen with her own eyes, he can’t argue that.

Jaime shook his head and pointed out. “Not since the war of the five kings.”

Y/n tilted her head recounting the time a few years ago he recalled. Was this really suppose to help his case? “You mean since my brother took you prisoner and my mother broke you free?”

As much as Jaime could agree hearing her tone that it wasn’t the best thing he could’ve brought up. But it did play to his point so he stated. “I spent over a year away from her and the rest of my family. That’s quite a lot of time to contemplate.”

Y/n would admit that he was away from his family who she believed was the reason for his bad traits and actions were beneficial for the man in front of her. She could see the changes in him by just looking at him. Because she truly looked at him. She looked past his exterior and looked at the man inside.

“I can see it in your eyes.” Y/n nodded in agreement with his statement. Which shocked and puzzled Jaime. “You are a changed man. You're not the man I first met in Winterfell. You're better. You are a better man now.”

Jaime looked down, having a hard time believing her words. No one ever believed in him as much as the woman in front of him and she barely knew him. “I don��t know about that.”

Y/n could see how much he doubted himself, and that saddened her. But it didn’t shock her, the Lannisters did not seem to be an encouraging family.

“But I do.” Y/n stated, the tone she used compelled Jaime to look into her eyes. She stated her belief in him so strongly and without a doubt, it made his heart clench. But in a good, emotional way. “I do. But even with that said as long as Cersei has a hold over you, there will never be a chance for us.”

If she was honest Y/n wanted him to chase them. Give them the chance to be together that they both so obviously wanted. But he had to make the decision himself, she couldn’t for him.

Y/n gave him a sad smile before moving around him to walk back to Winterfell, having stelfed the knives back on her belt the only thing she was leaving behind was a charming Lannister that didn’t seem to know what he wanted in life.

“Say the words.” Jaime spoke before she could get to far, turning on his feet and facing her.

“What?” Y/n stopped and turned towards him confused at his random choice of words.

Jaime took her confusion as his opening, he walked over to her, his face all serious. Shocking Y/n with the words that came out of his mouth. “Say the words and I’ll stay. Say the words and I’m yours. Only yours, forever.”

“And what words would that be exactly?” Y/n questioned nervously, she wanted to believe he was serious. But that depended on what words he meant.

Jaime wrapped his handless arm around her waist and leaned his forehead against hers.Gently running his other hand, the only hand he had left that was flesh and bone across her cheek. “You know the words.” He whispered, hoping she knew. If she felt the same as him she’ll know he thought.

Y/n felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Looking up into his pleading eyes she said the words that they have wanted to say for years to each other. “I love you.”

Jaime smiled, relieved that she did truly feel the same. Jaime pulled her into a sweet passionate kiss that should’ve happened years ago. There was nowhere he’d rather be. As their kiss continued Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the kiss just as much as him. Pulling back so they could both get air, Jaime smiled genuinely happy for the first time in years. “I love you too.”

Taglist: @gruffle1 @padawancat97 @misspendragonsworld

@starkleila

#x reader #imagine #imagines #jaime lannister x reader #jaime lannister x stark reader #jaime lannister x stark!reader #jaime lannister #jaime lannister imagine #jaime lannister imagines #game of thrones #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones imagines #GOT #GOT imagines #GOT imagine #winterfell

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diamonds-of-the-first-water · 4 months

Text

It’s Polin Season

*Spoilers ahead for Bridgerton Season 3 part 1*

so i finished part 1 and oh my god. it was great. i’m gonna rewatch it later, but i want to list some of my favorite things after first watch (i’ll probably forget things I have been awake all night and am sleep deprived but oh well)

colin and el being elusive with one another about their activities

colin having a wet dream after one kiss

colin groping penelope like she was gonna float away

penelope’s new wardrobe and hair (they suit her so well)

PRUDANK

FROHN

phillipa not understanding how a baby is made or born and wondering why her husband has to change his pants after they kiss

surprisingly the music choices! when they were initially released i was wary but they all seem to fit the moment (aside from dynamite which was kinda just there?)

the carriage ride was even better than i imagined and i have imagined it many different ways so bravo team

ending with an almost direct book quote (for gods sake penelope featherington are you going to marry me or not?) chefs kiss. absolutely zero notes

for the show i’m glad the whistledown reveal wasn’t before the carriage scene it wouldn’t have made sense and there wouldn’t have been enough time to resolve it

honestly cressida makes much more sense as a character to me this season but it still doesn’t excuse her being a bully ( i like her but i love pen so)

marcus anderson seems like a good match for violet and i want to learn more about him

we got to see happy kanthony without them overshadowing the new couple (much like daphne in the first season)

things i didn’t like very much

another plot about benedict sleeping with some woman who will no longer be relevant next season

cressida being straight. this is wrong, do it again and get it right this time.

i honestly would have preferred penelope break off the engagement because she’s still in love with colin than debling doing it for her, but the tension cause of the broken engagement was sweet

though i’m glad kanthony wasn’t overused i still wish they showed up more in part 1, i know they will be back but still. at least one other episode

lady danbury and penelope’s relationship isn’t as strong as it is in the books. mind you polin names their first kid after her.

summary:

with what I have seen so far i almost wish we had gotten weekly releases instead. ideally we’d get the whole thing at once but if that wasn’t an option weekly would have been nice. i’m kinda tired of the binge model. overall i loved part 1 and will definitely be rewatching it later

more thoughts to come! thank you nicola and luke for doing our polin justice

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bakugoushotwife · 1 year

Note

hiii!!! i rlly enjoy your writing 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

oml ok idk how requests work but like, can i request sum for gojo? like sum smutty ;)

maybe something like make up sex ;))) honestly you have like sm freedom writing it because i jus need some make up sex w gojo 😩😩

tysmmm!! hope you’re having a great night

a/n: yeah we need to kiss for this one bestie !! no but i love what this turned into, i was stumped over what to make them fight about so luckily the beautiful @getosbigballsack saved the DAY! <3 i love u babies!! gojo looked so scrumptious in the episode i literally have not stopped thinking about him so please take this brain rot and enjoy it

summary: you've gone and spent your allowance too soon, and now your husband is home to deal with it.

cw: y'all-- uh established relationship, gojo, he's kinda mean at times ngl, spanking, dacryphilia, oral (m receiving) facefucking, cowgirl, , pet names, daddy kink, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, they are married i swear

wc: 3746 unedited

Allowance // Satoru Gojo x fem!reader

“Hi baby! Welcome home!” You sing happily, getting up from the dining room table to meet your husband at the door as he enters. You smooth down the ruffles of your new dress, excited to show off what you bought with him in mind. When you round the corner, you come face-to-face with a less than excited Satoru Gojo.

You stop in your tracks, his glare was intense and you knew that meant only one thing: you’re in trouble. He continues to stare at you silently, setting his keys down on the table with a loud clunk. He slipped out of his shoes, all while his icy gaze narrowed in your direction.

“What did you do today?” He asks knowingly, giving you one chance to answer truthfully before he enacted his punishment.

You start to wring your hands. You knew what this was about of course, but you had hoped to get yourself off the hook. You turn on your best pout, blinking up at him with your perfected sad puppy eyes, your long lashes only making your pout prettier. “Awh, ‘Toru, listen–” You try sweetly, to no avail.

“Ah, ah. Answer me.” He interrupts, to which you promptly shut your mouth. You brought this on yourself, you really did. You avert your gaze as he sits in his chair in the living room. The cushioned seat around him made him look like a King on his throne, staring down at his Queen forebodingly. Even his posture is intimidating; his arms folded over his chest and long legs extended far in front of him, one foot tapping expectantly.

“Did you lose your voice?” He asks, tilting his head to the side, taking in your appearance. You look angelic as always, and he knew that was a new dress. It fits you perfectly, he must admit, tight at your chest and waist and barely covering your ass. The color was striking against your skin. God, you made this difficult. He was glowering with anger, more aptly called sexual frustration and desire. He had all the intentions of punishing your behavior. You were both busy all week, making it the longest he’s gone without you aside from work related trips. In an effort to make up for his absences and tardies, he gave you your full allowance two days early.

He really does enjoy spoiling you, giving you an insane amount of money every week just for you to spend on clothes and shoes. All your hair and nails and lashes and waxes were paid for, whatever you wanted, you got it. However, there were certain rules. His sweet little house-wife wanted for nothing, and he would have it no other way. But you have to show your gratitude, because of him you haven’t worked in years. You have to make your allowance last until your next one, just because he knew you were impulsive and couldn’t do that every time, no matter the amount he gave you. Your tastes grew more and more expensive with every deposit in your bank account, though most of it was spent on beautiful outfits and gorgeous lingerie that only he would consume. You blew it all this time in one day, a new record.

You shake your head, eyes trained on the floor. “No, I didn’t..”

“No, what?” He arches his brow, waiting.

“No daddy.” You correct yourself, swaying from side to side in your pretty little dress, showing how the material flowed out around you. “ ‘M sorry daddy, really…jus wanted to get all pretty for you.”

Your pout truly was magical, your sweet face trying to bail you out of your punishment. He watched the skirt move for a minute, eyes trailing down your exposed legs and onto the new Alexander McQueen heels hugging your feet. So that’s where most of your money went. Undeniably, the shoes were made for his princess, but that was besides the point right now. All prettied up you were indeed, and he would make good use of it.

“You know the rules, baby girl.” He says sternly, even the use of one of his many pet names for you seemed harsh. He spread his legs a little more in front of him, waiting for you to behave. His stance and authoritative tone made your pussy throb immediately. You did feel bad for making him angry, but you knew you wouldn’t necessarily dislike your punishment either, in fact you were looking forward to it.

You stepped toward him, heels clicking against the beautiful hardwood floors of the Gojo home. He offered one hand out to you, the other supporting his cheek as if he was growing bored from waiting. Your perfectly manicured fingers wrap around his slender ones and your cheeks start to warm, a knot growing in your stomach in anticipation. You step up onto the arm of his chair with your knees, getting your balance before laying across his lap, your elbows propped up on the other arm of the chair. He watched you with dilated pupils, all your effort to make him want you worked like a charm, as if you needed to do anything special in the first place. It had been a long week, followed by this stunt? You were definitely in for it this time. He hisses when he bunches the skirt of your dress in his fist, revealing a lacy and barely-there thong.

You smirk to yourself now that he can’t see your face. You knew he liked it, you could feel his approval for the way you look poking into your stomach right now. You wiggle your ass for him, a soft giggle escaping your lips. That quickly turns to a gasp when his large hand smacks down on your skin, making your asscheek sting immediately. The surprise makes you jump forward a little bit, and he doesn’t hesitate to jerk you back. He gives an equally hard slap to your other cheek, and the pain is sweet. You like the way it burns paired with his satisfied grunts as he watches your recoil each time.

“Aren’t you supposed to be counting?” He reminds, not much of a question at all. His typical grin is replaced by a dark smirk as he applies another spank to your backside.

“Three.” You hum, wiggling in his lap inadvertently. He chuckles at the sight of you, shaking his head. You’ve only given him one option, to increase the rate and intensity.

“What a bad girl I have. Disappointing daddy like this.” He clicks his tongue. You whip your head around at this, you weren’t a bad girl! You just wanted to dress up for him, you couldn’t help that the rules were gonna keep you from doing that! He’s pouting when you look at him, really putting on a show. The force of his slap makes you squeal this time, and you can almost feel the handprint branding in.

“Nuh-uh!” You protest, heartbroken by his words. He keeps you from arguing it further with another harsh spank, burning the skin and making tears prickle your vision.

“Yes-huh.” He mocks, another spank. “You can’t even count like you’re supposed to. Such a naughty thing. Makes me so sad.” He sighs, eyes glued to the darkening skin of your rear. He was in fact leaving handprints, and he loved the way it looked.

“Six!” You call out to make up for the ones you’ve missed, your brain getting scrambled under the gorgeous pain and his mean speech. Your body was consumed in heat, your panties growing uncomfortable against your soaked middle. “Daddy, I swear ‘m sorry! I didn’t mean’ta disappoint you!” You pout, the last words coming off your tongue in horror. He doesn’t accept the apology, another smack rippling across your sore ass. “Seven!” Your chin wobbles.

“Go ahead and cry. Maybe if you cry for Daddy, I’ll forgive you.” He grins, hand coming down on you once more. “You’ll have to make it up to me, since you’re such a spoiled brat. Why would you ignore my rules unless you were a bad girl? This isn’t even a punishment for you, look how wet you are!” He teases, clicking his tongue as his fingers press against your clothed hole. You can hear the squelch of yourself, lewd and loud and the only sound other than his sadistic chuckles. “Tell me you like it, angel. Tell me the truth…”

“Eight,” You whimper, writhing in his hold now. The pain was turning your vision white in the corners, but you still didn’t want him to stop. He was right, you were a bad girl for spending all your money in one day, you could have picked less expensive pieces, but you wanted to push Satoru to his limit. You sniffle, the tears welling up so big they cloud the rest of your vision. Your ass is almost numb when you feel his hand again. “Nine! ‘M sorry, imma bad girl ‘n I love your spankin’s..” You whine, fat tears finally rolling down your cheeks.

He hums, reaching for your chin so he can see your face, cheeks red and lip nearly bleeding from how hard you’ve been biting down on it. Your tears make you even prettier, coating your lashes and making your eyes glossy. He loves it, watching your sweet tears fall off your face to be absorbed by the fabric of his armchair. “Can you make it to ten, dollface?”

He asks, gently wiping a tear from your cheek with his thumb. “That could make it up to Daddy.” He hums softly, though his ultimate concern is your limit, and you know that too. You nod, if you’ve made it this far one more won’t break you. He smiles brightly, patting your cheek gently and letting your face go in favor of one last punishing spank of your bruised flesh. He rubs the skin after, trying to soothe it while he thinks of what he’s going to do to you next.

Your eyes close under his now gentle pressure. Your ass pulsates and your pussy throbs with need, your biggest concern now was earning back your husband’s favor.

“Ten. “m really sorry, I mean it! Wanna make it up to you, really make it up to you..” You breathe apologetically, waiting to move until he tells you that you can.

He hums at your sweet apologeticness. His princess truly owns his heart, and he could never stay angry with you. His anger melted the second he saw you, but he had to follow through on his word. Plus, it was fun to see you so ruined like this. He wonders what you may have in mind, so he arches his brow and waits for you to speak.

“Let me suck your cock, Daddy. Please?” Your voice was permanently warped into a pouty whine it seems. He chuckles at your suggestion, how could he ever turn that down?

“Go ahead angel, just for a bit. I’m gonna breed my brat.” He says dauntingly, gently pushing you off his lap. His hands support your waist as you lower yourself to the floor between his legs. His bulge was staring at you, painfully restrained by his pants. You pouted up at him and shook your head, reaching for his button and zipper.

He hummed at your attentiveness, leaning up so you could drag his pants and boxers off. You giggle softly as his member slapped up against his abdomen upon release. You look at his dick with awe. It was just as pretty as the rest of him, long and curved just to abuse your sweet spots. His tip was an angry purplish-red, and pre-cum beaded at his slit. You licked your lips and looked up at him, dainty and soft hand wrapping around his lengthy shaft. You could barely close your hand around him, fingers far from touching. He took his own bottom lip in his mouth to keep from sighing, your hand alone tremendous relief.

He fights the urge to close his eyes, wanting to watch his sweet brat take him. His hands grip the arms of the chair, the suede fabric the only other identifiable feeling other than your warm throat gripping around him. He was heavy in your mouth, tip poking at the back of your throat with inches left to swallow. You decide to bob your head along what you have so far, eyes fluttering closed so you can focus on the feeling of his ridges rubbing against your tastebuds. Your throat relaxes, letting you take in the rest of him with a gentle moan, the vibration sending shockwaves through his body. He wondered if you could feel his cock pulse the same way he does, watching cute tears run down your cheeks again, no doubt pushing your skills to accommodate him. He needs more of you, his cock never deep enough. You look so beautiful, rubbing your legs together to relieve your own ache for him, he can’t help but moan out too, reaching for a hold fashioned of your hair.

“You can’t go so slow, princess. I thought you were going to make it up to me?” He smirks, forcing your head along him. You gag around him and he makes an animalistic growl, striving for that choking noise again. He fucks into your face just as hard as he pushes your head down. You have to hold his thighs, digits gripping his lean legs for your life. He giggles at your struggle, though he knows you’re more than happy to please him. He keeps going until he hears that gurgle again, the sign of your struggle to take all of him in. Tears roll freely down your cheeks at this point, your mouth just a hole being used.

He pulls you off of him, relishing in the saliva coating your lips and the heaving of your chest. “Climb aboard.�� He hums, looking down at his painful erection and back up at you, his perfect princess but bumbling brat. “Take the dress off though.” He adds with a scrunch of his nose, anxious to see your perfect body under the pretty dress.

You nod and peel the dress off, discarding it into a pile in the floor. You slid out of your heels as well, thinking it wise with your task ahead. His eyes grow wide at the sight of you, a matching lacy blue bra cupping his favorite breasts. “It’s pretty, princess. You’re gorgeous, need you to come sit on me.” He wiggles his eyebrows, watching tentatively as you unlatch your bra and let it fall to the floor as well. “You might as well take the panties off too, then.” He grins, pearly white and sharp teeth sparkling at you.

You grin as well, bending over to slide the soaked garment off, throwing them at him with a giggle. He catches them, sticking his tongue out to taste your arousal off the soiled center. He hold your eyes the entire time, crystalline half-lidded orbs putting a spell on you. You shudder at his intensity, humming as you crawl back into the chair. He tosses your panties over his shoulder, licking his lips from your taste. His only focus is you. Your thighs straddle his hips, his weeping member already poking at your slick entrance. He just grins and places his hands on your hips, pulling you down to take him all at once. You gasp, the sharp burn of him against your womb was a feeling you never adjusted to.

It was one he loved, both the feeling of your suffocating walls clenching and unclenching around him and the look of pleasure on your face before you’ve even started to move. He smiles, knowing how to get under your skin just like you did with him. He pulls his touch back, folding his arms behind his head. He looks up at you, eyes wild with mischief, tendrils of his shaggy white hair splaying over his muscular arms and the fabric of the chair to create a beautiful contrast. “This is your punishment, princess. Gotta do all the work yourself or I’m not gonna touch you.”

You whine, bracing yourself on his chest. “So mean, Daddy.” You puff your cheeks, but start to slowly bounce on his lap, the pleasure of him bumping against your pleasure spot already making it hard to keep your pacing consistent.

“I can show you mean, if you say that again.” He threatens, though his features display amusement. He does find it adorable that you can’t keep yourself together past a few cute bounces, inflating his ego even more so. He has to fight the urge to take control, though he’s not sure he can do it much longer with your pathetic attempts at riding him. It’s his idea of a joke, making his pretty little brat take the top for once. It was clear who took care of you, and that alone was making your cheeks warm in embarrassment.

As if you could read his thoughts, you bite down on your lower lips and commit to thirty seconds or so of consistent bouncing. Your face scrunches up in frustration, and your perfect pout is back on display.

“Aw, baby girl, what’s wrong? Can’t fuck yourself the same way Daddy does?” He hums curiously, his pretty pink lips curling into a grin.

You shake your head, letting your head fall forward into his neck. “No Daddy, I can’t.” You admit, defeated by his blatant show of his dominance over you.

He chuckles, patting your hair lovingly. “Aw, now that’s okay sweetheart. I’ll take care of you like I always do.” He gently reminds, bringing his hands back to hold your waist. He stands up with you, walking a short trek until your back smacks against the living room wall. He grins cheekily when you wrap your arms around his neck. He shifts his hands to support the underside of your thighs, and you know he has the strength and the stamina to hold you here until he’s satisfied.

“Now, much better.” He hums in your ear, looking down at where your pussy swallows him up. He pulls himself out to the tip, plunging into your cavern without a second passing in between these actions. He does it over and over, enjoying the way your body relaxes now that he’s back in control, as if he wasn’t to begin with. You’re still clutching him for dear life, but he’s used to that. Your face softens, only pleasure in your mind. He loves seeing you like this, being the reason you’re so blissful. He groans at how easy it is to slide in and out of you, dripping wet for him and he didn’t even have to work you to that point. “You’re still Daddy’s good girl, gripping me so tight like that.”

You moan at his praise, continuously squeezing down on his length to make him happy. He fills you up so perfectly, his pace starting to increase, your head rolling back against the wall as well. He bites at your neck, the column just too delicious to ignore. Your moans amplified, and he could feel your throat vibrate under his teeth. He leaves marks on your jaw too, sucking deep hickies all over your dainty flesh.

“This is how you’re prettiest, princess, these are my favorite decorations.” He says in reference to his teeth marks and bruises covered in saliva that pepper any skin he had access to. His breath grows heavy, the feeling of it fanning over your new markings makes your skin tingle and goosebumps spring up in place. Your cunt only grows tighter as he fucks the shape of him into it, making him sigh happily.

You can only speak in jumbled whispers of his name and moans, never more grateful for support than you are for the wall behind you, the ability to hold yourself upright long gone. Your hands slide up to tug on his hair, the feeling of his silky tresses giving you something to focus on. His pretty noises feel like a reward after what you’ve done, deep grunts and breathy moans gifted directly into your ear.

“It’s been so long, princess. Didn’t get to have you all week, then you go and disobey me.” He clicks his tongue and grins at you. “I think you just wanted Daddy’s attention, hm? Did you just miss me angel?” He teases, the force of him making your body jump up and slide back down the wall at every thrust.

You do your best to nod, and Satoru knows you’re past the point of being able to speak coherently. He was splitting you in half, you could feel him in your stomach and it burned so deliciously. “Mhm.. missed daddy s’much.” You wail, the rubberband in your stomach was stretched, so much tension that was about to snap and leak out all over him.

He knows this, of course, trying to time his release with your own. As mean as he could be sometimes, your pleasure was still his goal, and he wanted you to reward him for all his work. “Go ahead, princess. I wanna feel it, go ahead and come for Daddy.” He coaxes with gentle kisses to the bruises he made. “I’ll give you mine if you give me yours.” He purrs, watching your eyes roll back with a satisfied grin.

You cry out, knuckles turning white under your grip on Satoru’s shoulders. You nod in acknowledgement of his words, and he can feel you spasm around him to signify your release. He coos loving words to you, eyes glued on your cream creating a ring around the base of his dick. It’s so satisfying, watching you jerk with sensitivity and struggle to hold on. He loves this, his cock jumping inside you before his cum coats your insides. You swear it's in your guts, fee

ling impaled by his cock still pinning you to the wall. His head rests against the cool wall beside yours, but you can see the smile on his face. You smile too, breathing heavily and your brain feels like it’s floating in your skull. You know if he set you down right now that you would fall to the ground, legs still shaking in his hands.

“I think you’ve learned a valuable lesson, princess.” He coos, pressing his lips gently to your forehead. He snakes his arms around your waist before he begins walking with you again, this time towards your shared room. “We can review for the rest of the night, just to be sure you really understand.” He adds, smirking cheekily. “And I’ll go to the bank tomorrow, just promise Daddy you’ll be smarter with your money.” He says with an affectionate slap to your ass while all your weight is supported in his other arm.

“I promise Daddy.” You hum, hugging his neck and pressing your upper half against him. You absolutely would spend all your money the very next day if it means you get this punishment again.

#gojo x reader #jjk x reader #kyleewritesjjk #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #gojo is the love of my life #no seriously #i cannot stop thinking about him #its getting to a mental illness level i think #gojoitis #im trying to do my JOB and can't all i see is basketball gojo #how am i supposed to live life normally again #live laugh lobotomy

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angegiarratanawriter · 4 days

Text

TNTL Horny Addition

Warnings: Smut

Word Count: 3371

Summary: During an episode of Try Not To Laugh, you break Angela in an unconventional way

Being on the Try Not To Laugh stage has always been surreal for you. Having grown up watching the original episodes that were posted few and far between, it’s been so cool getting to see the show grow and gain its own cult following. It’s honestly one of the reasons that you had decided to audition for Smosh in the first place, and now, getting to be on that stage is one of the coolest things in the world.

This week on TNTL, you’re getting to work with Chanse, Amanda, Courtney, Tommy, and Angela. It’s a great line up, one that you know is going to be a hit once it goes up, if only because the chemistry between Angela and Chanse always makes for a killer video. It also helps that this episode is Simon Says, a clear fan favorite.

As the crew gets everything set up on stage, you pull out your phone and go into your notes app, pulling up the list of bits that you’ve jotted down over the past couple of months. As you’re scrolling, you find one that you’ve been workshopping for Angela. It’s a little bit hardcore, but you think that at this point your relationship is secure enough where you won’t get into too much trouble if you do it. You just hope you get the chance.

Emily calls the cast together to start shooting the intro, so you slip your phone into your pocket with a little smirk. You walk over and take your spot beside Angela, who immediately notices the smile tugging at your lips. She quirks an eyebrow at you in question, but you just shake your head and mouth ‘you’ll see’. Before she can say anything in protest, Courtney starts the into.

“Hey, everyone! Welcome back to another episode of Try Not To Laugh. This week we’re doing Simon Says, so the person in the chair gets to choose a theme or prop that everyone has to use. You know the rest of the drill, try to make each other laugh, spit out the water, blah blah blah. So, who wants to go first?”

“Ooh, I will!” Amanda says eagerly. “I want all of your bits to be set in a Western.”

“Nice,” Chanse says, doing a little fist pump.

While Amanda takes her seat in the stool, everybody heads to the prop area to start prepping their bits. Tommy and Chanse go out first and do their “Gay Cowboys” bit, which looks suspiciously like a recreated scene from Brokeback Mountain. Courtney goes next, wearing a tiny cowboy hat that immediately gets the laugh. As everyone takes their turn, you figure out what you want to do.

“Hey Ange, can I borrow your shirt?” you ask.

“Sure.”

Angela shucks off the white button down that she has on, leaving her in a form fitting black tank top. You take a minute to appreciate her arms before remembering that you have a job to do. You shed your own shirt and put hers on, only doing up the bottom two buttons so that your torso is left completely exposed. You then grab the fluffy pink cowboy hat off of the shelf and grab Courtney to help you.

As soon as you walk on stage, Amanda’s eyes go wide as she looks at your outfit. She pauses slightly on your torso, and you can’t tell if it’s because she recognizes Angela’s shirt or because she’s staring at your stomach. You take a quick glance back over your shoulder, before turning back to Courtney and starting your bit.

“Well, that was the strangest thing I’ve ever seen,” you say with a fake southern accent.

“I’ll say,” Courtney agrees, matching your tone. “I just don’t understand one thing-”

“It’s better you don’t try to. Things like this are better left to rest.”

“But-”

“Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.”

Amanda smacks her hand on her thigh at the reference and turns to the side, spitting the water out before breaking out into legitimate laughter. You’re honestly surprised that this bit was such a success, as it honestly wasn’t your strongest idea out of the gate. Shrugging, you start to walk back towards the prop area but Amanda’s voice stops you.

“Wait, I wanna know what happened!”

“Uh…strippers in a motel?”

“What?” Amanda says, still laughing. “That has nothing to do with the movie.”

“I know,” you say, winking.

Without explaining any further, you turn around and walk back stage, letting Chanse take the floor. You walk slowly over to the monitor, taking the cowboy hat off and placing it back on the shelf on the way by as you watch his bit. As you pull off the button down shirt that you’d borrowed, you feel eyes on boring into your back.

You look over your shoulder to find Angela staring at you, her eyes dark and her lips slightly parted. A little smirk tugs at your lips, and it takes every ounce of self control that you have to refrain from teasing her. Under normal circumstances, you would, but nobody actually knows that you’re dating and there’s a camera on the prop area. Instead you settle for shooting her a wink that won’t be caught before grabbing your own shirt and pulling it on.

“Here,” you say softly, handing over the button down.

“Thanks,” she says, swallowing hard.

“No problem.”

When Amanda’s turn in the chair is done, Chanse takes her place and chooses to make everyone use the little toy chainsaw. Courtney ends up going classic with a Boneless bit, Tommy pretends to cut down a tree that falls on you, Angela chases Amanda around with it, and then they reverse for Amanda’s turn. When it gets to be your turn, you go out with no plan, and end up doing a hilariously bad monologue. It doesn’t get the laugh, but Chanse gives you a nod on your way off the stage.

Courtney’s turn is all about things going wrong on planes, so you trail out an allergic reaction bit where you use a massive sword as an epi pen. Tommy does a safety monologue while mimicking turbulence, Chanse and Angela do a two part bit that is similar to the flight simulator video that they did a while ago, and Amanda puts on a terrible wig and pretends to be the worst flight attendant ever.

Once Courtney’s turn is done, it’s Angela’s turn to take the stool. This is what you’ve been waiting for, and you can only hope that she ends up choosing something that will work with what you have planned. It takes her a minute to finally come up with a rule, but when she does, you do a little silent celebration with yourself.

“Alright, it’s opposite day, folks,” Angela says. “Do with that what you want.”

Smirking to yourself, you walk back to the prop area to get ready for your bit. You spend a minute reversing some things in your head before you get the go ahead from Emily. As you step out onto the stage, Angela looks up, and surprise colors her features. You can only assume it’s because you didn’t bring any props with you, but you know you won’t need any. A sly smirk tugs at your mouth as you stop behind her, leaning in so that your lips almost brush her ear.

“I know that you’re used to being the top in this relationship, but there are a few things that I want to do to you when we get home,” you whisper, your voice low enough that it won’t be picked up by the mics. “First, I’m going to fuck you against our front door, and then, after you’ve come at least twice, I’m going to carry you to our bedroom and handcuff you to the bed posts. From there, you have two options. I can go down on you until my jaw is sore or I can put the strap on and fuck you until you can’t feel your legs.”

The whole time you’ve been whispering in Angela’s ear, you’ve watched a deep blush start to creep up the back of her neck. You can tell she’s trying so hard to hold it together, but as you give her the options, she chokes on the water in her mouth and ends up coughing it out. Her head whips around to look at you, her dark eyes trailing a path down your body before coming back up and locking you into a staring match.

“Remember,” you say, a little bit louder so that the mics can catch it. “It’s opposite day.”

With a little wink, you turn around and walk back to the prop area, letting Amanda take your place on the stage. Throughout the rest of her time in the stool, Angela looks incredibly distracted. She hardly laughs at anyone else’s bit, only coming close when Chanse comes out in almost full drag.

“Girl, what did you say to her?” Amanda asks as she adjusts her wig.

“Something that’s probably going to get me in huge trouble,” you murmur.

As Angela’s turn ends, you head back out to get the rule for Tommy’s turn. He ends up choosing ‘the worst pick up lines’. Chanse rolls out the classic Tennessee one, while Amanda says something about eating dessert before dinner. Courtney goes insane with a line about looking for a third, while Angela goes so dirty that you’re sure that her entire line is going to end up getting bleeped. As you step out onto the stage for your turn, you decide to go classic as well.

“Roses are red, violets are blue,” you say, stopping center stage and batting your eyelashes at Tommy. “I really, really wanna fuck you.”

“Oh shit,” Chanse says from the back, cackling at the wide eyed look on Tommy’s face. “Do another, do another.”

“Violets are blue, roses are thorny, you make me very, very horny.”

That does it, and Tommy spits out the water he’d been holding in his mouth before starting to laugh so hard that he almost falls out of his chair. The crew is cracking up too, and you can see Emily exchanging a look with Shayne off camera. You think you hear something about Courtney having used that line on him when they first started dating, but before you can address it, you’re being ushered to sit in the stool.

“Okay, uhm, I’m gonna go with ‘weirdest things you can get delivered’.”

Amanda ends up going first, getting you with her classic PUS uniform and a tiny toilet that makes a flushing noise. Tommy goes next, coming in with Chanse dressed in a tiger suit and on a leash. Courtney brings out a box of vaguely phallic items, and then Tommy brings in the ripped scroll pretending that its the Declaration of Independence. Finally, it’s Angela’s turn, and you’re honestly a little nervous. She struts out in an FBI jacket and a pair of sunglasses, a pair of handcuffs in her hand.

“You’re under arrest for stealing hearts,” Angela declares.

“Awww, that’s adorable,” Courtney coos from backstage.

“No, it’s not. She’s literally stealing hearts and selling them on the black market. It’s about time that justice is delivered.”

The tiniest little inhale is all it takes to make your life a living hell, as you feel water get pulled down into your lungs. A cough threatens to burst from your throat, but you manage to force your mouth to stay closed, and no water comes out. When you regain control, you stand up and turn around, presenting your hands behind your back. Angela takes them and slaps the cuffs on with practiced ease before leaning in to whisper in your ear.

“You like this, don’t you? Well don’t you worry, you’re gonna get everything that you asked for.”

—

True to her word, the first thing that Angela does when you walk through the front door is pin you against it. A harsh moan slips from your mouth as she pushes a leg in between yours, but it’s swallowed when she connects your lips in a heated kiss. You feel hands move up to your hips, and your breath stutters out when they force you down onto a hard thigh. The movement creates delicious friction, and you suddenly find yourself in the middle of a chase.

As Angela works your hips in a steady rhythm, she starts to kiss down your jaw. As she gets to your neck, you feel her suck gently, hard enough that you can feel it but soft enough that it won’t leave a hickey. Your hips jerk at the sensation, and you suddenly feel an overwhelming need to have her mark you anywhere, everywhere, so you grab the back of her head and pull her in closer.

“Fuck, harder,” you stutter out.

“Is that permission?” Angela asks.

“God yes.”

You feel Angela smirk against your neck before she sucks a patch of your skin into her mouth and lavishes it with her tongue. A harsh moan falls from your lips as she pulls your hips down harder against her leg, and you start to feel the tell tale signs of your high. A rush of warmth spirals down your spine, and your lower stomach starts winding tighter and tighter until it finally snaps.

“Fuck!” you moan, tossing your head back against the door.

The white behind your eyelids blinds you, and you find yourself reaching out for something to hold you steady. Through it all, you feel Angela pressing soft kisses into your neck as she slowly starts to bring you back down. When you’re finally able to open your eyes, you find her already looking at you with an adoring expression on her face.

“So pretty,” Angela murmurs, tracing a finger down your cheek. “I can’t wait to fucking ruin you.”

“Then don’t,” you pant out.

Angela doesn’t waste a second, shifting her hands down your body and positioning them on the backs of your legs before scooping you up. It takes longer than it should to reach the bedroom, with both of you getting distracted by the smallest kiss or touch. When you finally make it, she places you gently down onto the edge of the bed and takes a step back, looking at you with hungry eyes.

“Get undressed,” Angela orders. “Now.”

You immediately scramble into a sitting position, pulling your shirt above your head before unclipping your bra and tossing them both to the side. As you work on getting your sneakers off, you watch Angela start to get undressed too. It takes her less time, and soon she’s walking over to her side table butt naked while you work overtime to get your skinny jeans down your legs.

By the time you manage to pull your panties off, Angela has already gotten everything prepped. There’s a pair of handcuffs threaded through the bars of the headboard, and she’s wearing your favorite strap. You can tell by the way that it’s glistening that she’s already put some lube on it, and that’s confirmed when you look up to see her wiping the stickiness from her hands with a tissue.

“Get up here,” Angela orders, nodding to the head of the bed. “On your back, legs spread, hands above your head.”

Not wanting to waste a second, you crawl up the bed and lay back against the pillows. It takes you a minute to get comfortable, but when you do, you obey the rest of Angela’s orders and put your hands above your head while parting your legs for her. Once you’re in position, she climbs on top of you and reaches up, snapping the cuffs tightly around your wrists.

“Pull,” Angela orders, so you do. “Comfortable?”

“Yes,” you reply.

“Good. If you want to stop at any time-”

“Just tell you. I know, baby.”

“Okay,” Angela says softly, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. “Are you ready?”

“So ready.”

With a nod, Angela turns her attention downwards and brushes the strap over your clit a few times. The action sends a jolt of arousal through you, and you can feel yourself clenching around nothing. She looks up at you one last time, and when you nod, she lines up with your entrance and starts to push in slowly. As she bottoms out, you’re taken a bit by surprise as a wave of heat rolls down your spine.

“Fuck, this isn’t gonna take long,” you mutter, blushing.

“Already, baby?” Angela teases.

Instead of dignifying her with an answer, you grit your teeth and and curl your fingers around the headboard, getting ready to hang on for dear life. You give a brief little nod, and then Angela is moving, setting a slow and steady pace that feels so fucking good but leaves you aching for more. Still, you had been close when you started and that hasn’t changed. If anything, it’s worse now, with Angela looking down at you, her lips parted, and the strap hitting just the right spot.

“Fuck,” you moan, your hands pulling at the cuffs. “Fuck, baby, I-”

“I know,” Angela says softly, her hips speeding up. “Take what you need.”

The pleasure spills over, and you feel yourself being thrown in to a mind blowing orgasm. Your entire body shudders as shock waves roll through you, bringing you up as high as you’ve ever been. As the pleasure starts to fade back to baseline, you tilt your head back against the pillows to try to force some air into your lungs. This opens up an opportunity for Angela to attach her lips to your neck again, and she takes it.

As your girlfriend sucks another mark into your collarbone, she starts to speed her hips up. The tip of the strap is hitting your g-spot on every stroke, and you can tell that it won’t be long until you reach another high. Not long ends up being sooner than expected, and your orgasm surprises you when Angela bites down hard on your neck. The comedown is a little bit rough this time, and you can feel the oversensitivity start to set in.

“Baby, I need you to come,” you say, your breath stuttering. “I don’t think I can take much more.”

“Do you want me to stop?” Angela asks, looking up in concern.

“God no. But I only have one more left in me.”

“I can work with that.”

Angela speeds up her hips until she’s practically slamming into you, the force of her thrusts causing the headboard to smack against the wall. The sound is obnoxious and sure to piss off your neighbors, but you can’t bring yourself to care when your girlfriend is making you feel this good. You feel her hips start to stutter, and you know that she’s close, so you do everything you can to help her along, rutting your hips up into her to increase the friction.

“Fuck, I’m there,” Angela moans. “Come with me.”

Never one to disobey an order, you feel your stomach tighten before a spark of pleasure steamrolls through your body. You gasp for air, trying and failing to get any in. It takes you a long time to come down, long enough that Angela is looking at you with a cute little pout on her face when you do finally open your eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you says, leaning up to press a soft kiss to your girlfriend’s lips. “Just a little over stimmed.”

“Do you want me to pull out?”

“Please.”

With an adorable little nod, Angela carefully separates your bodies. Once she’s pulled completely put of you, she grabs the keys to the handcuffs and unlocks them before getting up and disappearing into the bathroom. She returns a minute later with a warm wash cloth and no strap in sight. A smile tugs at the corner of your lips as she starts to wipe the wetness from your thighs, and you sigh softly.

“I love you,” you murmur.

“And I love you,” Angela replies, looking up with a smile. “Now get up and go pee, you don’t want to get a UTI.”

#angela giarratana #angela giarratana x reader #smut #fem reader

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jewishcissiekj · 8 months

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hi let's talk about her

Honestly I have so much to say about her. so much. so here's some of it

-Asajj (NOT VENTRESS THAT'S HER LAST NAME ISTG PEOPLE JUST HATE USING HER ACTUAL NAME AND IDK WHY I GUESS IT'S A COOL NAME BUT ASAJJ IS ALSO A COOL NAME AND)

-Asajj was last seen in canon in the Dark Disciple novel. Where she died. I would never recommend that book to anyone so if you haven't read it yet please don't. In short, after becoming a Bounty Hunter in The Clone Wars she grew out her hair, got a cool yellow Lightsaber and for some reason teamed up with Quinlan Vos to try and kill Dooku. They didn't manage to do it. And Asajj died (was fridged) trying to protect Quinlan. The Bad Batch will not contradict that, as was said by the creators. So this is just a summary for anyone who hasn't read it because I wholeheartedly believe that book is bad

-I have not watched a single Bad Batch episode in my life. As a disclaimer. I started the first one, watched their TCW arc and saw memes screenshots clips and spoilers but I do not know this show. I will watch it now that Asajj's there tho

-She does not have the same outfit anymore! It's a change, and we haven't gotten a clear look at her new design so idk how to judge it yet. Might be to look less recognizable, but it has a very different vibe than any of her prior outfits. There's a leftover shoulder pad and probably some other stuff from her last design but I feel like they kinda clash with the new one and tbb's design language in general. The Bounty Hunter look has a very TCWish feel to it and this one is a sharp turn in another, much more casual direction. I'm not inherently against it but I guess we'll see how it looks in action soon

-In my opinion the hair looks like shit. I don't think she should have hair ever. I don't understand why she can't be bald. Why is she bald when she's evil and has hair when she's a padawan (good) and when she is "redeemed"? guess we'll never know. It's a leftover from the cancelled Dark Disciple TCW arc design (and the Dark Disciple cover and promotional material ofc) and it's bad if you ask me but to each their own and if you like it good for you

-Her Lightsaber!!!!! Same case as the hair in terms of irl development but I like it so much better. The yellow just fits her character and it's pretty. Would love for her to find another one and get back to dual-wielding (I know that won't happen)

-The bag and pouches make me so happy as a design element do you think she carries a (tooka) cat in there

-Now, visually she looks great and the animation style is smoother and nicer than TCW (as is the quality), but what about the direction the character's going in? I didn't like her being dead before, but I felt like it was somewhat better than her being shoved into being a cameo character in new content. If you can't touch her after a certain point, you also can't mess her up. But I do wonder where they're going with her. A few questions:

-Asajj in canon is a directionless character. Also, a partially nonsensical and inconsistent character in her choices and storylines. I've talked about it a lot but in short she just feels messy. What's her purpose in life? Her motive? Her origin story doesn't really make sense, even. She's a Bounty Hunter, sure, but why? If all she wants is revenge on Dooku and maybe money (which was pretty much the case in Dark Disciple), what's she doing after the Empire? And more importantly, why?

-Obviously, the question I haven't asked yet because I don't like it: How the fuck is she alive? Nightsisters have a weird relationship with death but seriously, how?

-She's a Force User after the Rise of the Empire now, so what does he do about that? Is she founding The Path? Fucking around and finding out? Making a not-Jedi-not-Sith order with other force users she finds? Is the Empire after her? Do they know she's live?

-What about her girlfriend? Is Latts Razzi safe? Is she alright?

-Why is she in The Bad Batch show? Are we making her into a cameo character or is there a purpose? Why'd they bring her back? For fun? What is she doing after the show? Floating in dead space? Cameo-ing? Will we have a book?

-OK enough for tonight but if we see Quinlan Vos in the show I'll become violent (/neg). We probably will (he might just get mentioned idk).

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theragamuffininitiative · 1 month

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Episode Ratings Guide: The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

(by yours truly)

Interested in watching a show about suave and silly secret agent spies foiling the plots of evil villainy at great hazard to themselves and looking great and wisecracking all the while? Not sure which of the 100+ episodes are the most worth watching? Got you covered!

This post contains the complete list of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. episodes, each of which are accompanied by a "summary/review" of one-or-two brief sentences and a rating number of 1-5 stars, 5 of course being the best rating and 1 the worst. These are not intended to be a full overview of any episode, but merely a personal opinion on those I think represent the characters and show the best, and display more pros than cons of being created in the 60s. These opinions are entirely my own. 👌

Note: I am posting this in more-or-less its original rough notes form, and some of the ratings come from episodes I only watched once which might be better rated with a second viewing. If I make any updates to these ratings, I will reblog so you can check the notes for that.

Also included here for science: notations indicating whether or not Napoleon (^) or Illya (*) were captured in the episode. (!) indicates both evaded capture that episode. There is some nuance to this, which I mostly left to my own determination: but mainly this is used for direct capture and imprisonment by Thrush, not being otherwise incapacitated. Note: I have not yet finished adding these notations and will be editing for that.

Currently, the entire show is available HERE on the Internet Archives for your watching pleasure. 😊

Episodes and their ratings are below the cut, listed by show order, not rating category.

Enjoy!

S1 Uncle episodes:

(S1 was arguably the best season overall, with a few exceptions, and the only one filmed in black and white.)

The Vulcan Affair: pilot and a good deal of fun, with a decent storyline and the first "innocent" female character that becomes a staple in each episode is actually very charming here as she has a lot of fun being a spy instead of a housewife. Precious little Illya though. Still 5 stars ^

The Iowa Scuba Affair: Fun plot and Napoleon being a good spy. Zero Illya. Good climax at the end though. 3 or 4 stars. ^

The Quadripartite Affair: intriguing plot with the fear gas, some good lines, and Napoleon's first time rescuing Illya. 4 stars. *

The Shark Affair: this one had a very interesting plot, not the best execution of it imho. Some good interaction between the boys though. The "innocent" is more comic relief than femme fatale which I actually enjoy. 3 Stars. ^* (but the capture was kind of intentional)

The Deadly Games Affair: Fun plot where Napoleon has a flirtatious on again off again relationship with a known Thrush agent - the will they/won't they in this case more often being will she try to kill him again. Hitler zombie makes an appearance. “Another tunnel. You've got a lot of gopher in you.” 4 Stars. ^

The Green Opal Affair: mind control island with cheetahs. weird all around, not enough Illya. 2 Stars. ^

The Giuoco Piano Affair: Sequel to Quadripartite, which is fun because Marian is back. Napoleon is wonderfully suave. Fun plot! Some good ole cultural insensitivities. 4 stars. ^

The Double Affair: pretty fun, not enough Illya, and "somewhere in the Austrian alps" over the Griffith Observatory made me laugh so hard. 3 Stars. ^

The Project Strigas Affair: I honestly don't remember much of the plot but it is a fun caper, but the shining points are the guest stars and it's worth it for that alone. Good amount of Illya too. 4 Stars. !

The Finny-Foot Affair: intriguing if swiss-cheesey plot, but the real draw is the interactions between Napoleon and little Chris. 4 Stars. ^

The Neptune Affair: they made Illya leave in the beginning but it was still enjoyable. We stan Harvey Muller. John Banner (Schultz) appearance! 3 Stars. ^

The Dove Affair: ridiculous episode, you have to not at all take it seriously and then you can have a great time. No illya, sad. 3 Stars. !

The King of Knaves Affair: one hilarious bit where I fights off an intruder for N. Otherwise 2 stars. ^

The Terbuf Affair: kind of a mess of an episode but the sincerity of the plot with Napoleon is nice. Illya is fun, even if the whole gypsy thing is a little eesh. Otherwise meh episode. 3 stars.^

The Deadly Decoy Affair: utterly charming and a romp. Our boys protecting an asset…or are they. Neat and silly. 4 or even 5 Stars. ^

The Fiddlesticks Affair: I don’t care for the Innocent girl in this one but the caper plot is solid and there are some very good bits with Illya and Napoleon. 5 stars. !

The Yellow Scarf Affair: not a good episode, ridiculous plot and culturally insensitive. Also no Illya. 1 Star. ^

The Mad, Mad Tea Party Affair: annoying episode, especially with the girl’s acting/character choices. Some fun with a character who infiltrates Uncle HQ who makes up for it a bit. 3 stars. !

The Secret Sceptre Affair: a little cringe in some moments but great story mixed in between Napoleon and his old mentor, plus his loyalty to Illya. 4 Stars. *

The Bow-Wow Affair: a weird one, but lots of Illya content, plus a fox named Napoleon. Easily 3 Stars. !

The Four Steps Affair: Weird and cringe in many ways and otherwise not amazing. The kid annoyed me. 2 Stars maybe. *

The See Paris and Die Affair: Napoleon highkey kidnaps a woman. Has the comedy of I and N fighting each other in character and Napoleon calling himself Javert. They hurt my boy *again*. 3 stars, would be 4 if the plot were better. ^

The Brain Killer Affair: the boys have to save Waverly. Not a bad episode, not a brilliant one. 3 Stars. ! (but Illya was briefly incapacitated)

The Hong Kong Shilling Affair: idk what even to do with this one,, it was wild and nope. 1 Star.

The Never Never Affair: a fun premise and solid execution. Also everyone wants to kill Illya whoops. Make the “Cesar Romero was tall” jokes here. 4 Stars.^

The Love Affair: Token religious cult episode. They hurt my boy and I wish they had played it up a little more with Napoleon but he had a job to do so. 3 Stars maybe. ^

The Gazebo in the Maze Affair: Love this one, it has everything to recommend it. 5 Stars. ^*

The Girls of Nazarone Affair: there's no real reason to watch this one but it is a Trip, it is Insane, and I did laugh incredulously. 2 Stars. ^*

The Odd Man Affair: a good plot with a guest spy, the innocent woman is very likeable, some angst with Napoleon and Illya being concerned about him. 4 Stars. ! (But Napoleon is down for the count)

S2 Uncle episodes:

(Things get a little or a lot sillier and the show takes a minute to fully realize it is now in color, but overall quite enjoyable.)

The Alexander the Greater Affair 1+2: not a bad romp, though not stellar for a season opener despite its two acts. (However, Tracy/Dorothy Provine is great as always.) Possibly the most complex torture/execution setup of the series, and the “possibly” says a lot about the show at large, but also they get caught Multiple Times (feat. mummy illya). 3 Stars.^*x??

The Ultimate Computer Affair: Brilliant and fun, Illya really shines in this one (even as a grubby cowboy). 4 to 5 Stars. *^ (but Illya's capture is intentional)

The Foxes and Hounds Affair: A caper, a farce, a delight. Innocent of the week and plot around her leaves something to be desired. Silliness abounds. 5 stars. *^

The Discotheque Affair: not my favorite plot, but Illya looks sharp in his red jacket and there are exploding vinyl records. 3 stars.*^

The Re-Collector's Affair: Lovely clever plot with a good bit of silliness regarding stolen art and nazis. N is his s1 suave spy self and I gets a rare chance with the girl and is fabulous as usual. 5 stars. ^

The Arabian Affair: once you look past several unfortunate casting and makeup choices and the whole white savior bit, this episode is a lot of fun actually lol. 3 stars. *

The Tigers are Coming Affair: nothing special to me about this plot, some good quips as usual. 2 stars. *

The Deadly Toy Affair: Angela Lansbury guests and is charmingly ridiculous. Fun plot, lots of antics, some great lines. 4 stars.

The Cherry Blossom Affair: not amazing, but the female character has a different nuance and the banter is great. But anyone not white is shown as an idiot le sigh. 3 stars. ^ (though Illya was arrested by good guys and then gave himself up so I don't think it really counts)

The Virtue Affair: everything to love in plot, characters, quips, and really stupid villains with really complicated schemes. 5 stars. *^

The Children's Day Affair: mixed reviews, it's a fun plot, but the villains (and writers?) are gross and weird, but also there's some really solid Illya and Napoleon moments. I'll probably give it 4 stars for those. ^*

The Adriatic Express Affair: second train episode. Amusing representation of one of Illya/David's fangirls and some fun banter in the cell. The female villain is fascinating but otherwise really poor showing. 2 stars. *^

The Yukon Affair: cultural/racial insensitivity aside, a very fun episode, and we love Murphy. 4 stars.*

The Very Important Zombie Affair: not very important, a few good scenes, some heavy cringe territory, 2 stars.

The Dippy Blonde Affair: ridiculous plot but that's the show. Some unique Thrush exposition and characters. 3 stars. *

The Deadly Goddess Affair: Napoleon gets knocked out and tied up twice in this one. Villains are cringe. Great moments of Illya happily seeing Napoleon into a forced marriage. 2 stars.

The Birds and the Bees Affair: 1 star episode. High points are Illya being a soft gentleman and the director made some great camera angle choices. The rest is dumb.

The Waverly Ring Affair: features Napoleon shouting gibberish happily, and a fun plot, and an Illya to save the day plus Napoleon being genuinely clever. 4-5 stars. ^

The Bridge of Lions Affair 1&2: So much to love. The capers! The silliness! Illya chasing cats! Waverly besting the baddies! "Really? Really. Really??" 5 stars.

The Foreign Legion Affair: SKIP. 1 star episode. Bad episode. So cringe. Find the scene at the end where Napoleon rides in on the halftrack and do not watch anything else.

The Moonglow Affair: if the plot were a book and not a 60s TV show it would be so clever but as it is it was fun. IK and NS spend most of the episode out of their minds and April Dancer comes to their rescue. Love her. 4 stars.

The Nowhere Affair: A decent enough idea of a plot but I disliked the resolution. Some fun moments thrown in, and I did like how N snapped back to himself. 2 stars. ^

The King of Diamonds Affair: A Delight! Please enjoy the insanity of the bad guys pretending to be British…or Italian…no one is sure. (And then please forgive the other British representation, especially the opening scene.) 5 stars.

The Project Deephole Affair: a hapless criminal gets caught in the middle of a major sting, ft another of N's gibberish moments and a delightfully antagonistic exchange between I and the baddie. Cringey fight between Napoleon and female villain. 3 stars. *

The Round Table Affair: Fun episode where a villain turns into a protagonist sort of. Not amazing but enjoyable. Silly knight stuff abounds. 3 stars.

The Bat Cave Affair: a ridiculous riot. Not a bad time. 3-4 stars, mostly bc lots of Illya. *

The Minus-X Affair: "Corridors suck!" We know, Illya. Featuring the super drug and anti-super drug trope, and jokes at N's suits' expense. Nuanced side characters. Random plot holes abound. 3 stars.^*

The Indian Affairs Affair: -1 stars, pulls all the Native American stereotypes in absolutely absurd ways, the villain is gross, really not enjoyable.

S3 Uncle episodes:

(The most ridiculous season and not my favorite. It's....a lot. But a few episodes make the exception to be highly enjoyable.)

The Her Master's Voice Affair: the girls controlled by the lullaby episode. Adult character makes as though to spank a teen girl character at one point, like what were the writers on. 2 stars tops.

The Sort of Do-It-Yourself Dreadful Affair: girl androids. 2 stars. Except for the sparkling banter while Illya is locked up.

The Galatea Affair: My fair lady meets parent trap. Illya is great as always. Would improve without the naked bar horse thing which I hate hate hate. Napoleon replaced by Mark. 4 stars, tbh would be 5 if not for that scene.

The Super-Colossal Affair: movie/mob episode, quite fun, ending was a little disappointing but not bad. 4 stars. ^*

The Monks of St Thomas Affair: "very inferior mustard" I and N both very good at their jobs to begin, monk bald caps, cringe with n and girl and inferior plot overall. 2 stars *^

The Pop Art Affair: golf opening. Illya is great as a groovy artist lol. Otherwise 2 or 3 stars at best.

The Thor Affair: DC/Tao/Syn shows up! Culturally insensitive stuff but not the worst? Maybe? Heh. The girl is fun, radio in her tooth lol. 2-3 stars overall.

The Candidate's Wife Affair: uh meh overall. But car scene with "don't you ever turn it off?" "Well it's not my fault, when you've got it you've got it." - truly iconic. 2 stars bc the politics are boring lol.

The Come with Me to the Casbah Affair: inferior episode. Best part is when Illya hides in the hotel and is a perfect gentleman to the girl of the episode. 1-2 stars.

The Off Broadway Affair: 1-2 stars. Funny, otherwise unremarkable, and a bit cringe. Illya on Broadway lol.

The Concrete Overcoat Affair 1 and 2: Clever storyline but with So Much going on. Napoleon's storyline is more insane and comic than usual. Thrush woman hurts Illya and I loathe her so deeply, more angst than usual. 4-5 stars for cleverness with some serious plot. *^

The Abominable Snowman Affair: best features: Illya in flannel and Napoleon's failure to get either girl at the end. No one ever explained the abominable snowman part. 2 stars. ^*

The My Friend the Gorilla Affair: almost unwatchable episode. Illya has great lines. 1 star. *^

The Jingle Bells Affair: for a Christmas episode, kinda meh. Some heart and some laughs but nothing outstanding? 3 stars.

The Take Me to Your Leader Affair: Illya gets the girl this time (though somewhat against his wishes). N gets death by wind tunnel?? Fun fake aliens and Illya sings. 4 stars ^*

The Suburbia Affair: The plot is mostly meh but the set up and gags are golden. 4 stars. *

The Deadly Smorgasbord Affair: no illya. Worse! Fake stand in non-Illya. Decent plot except for the death by sun tan part. 2-3 stars ^

The Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum Affair. Amazing Illya content. Mutiny on ship controlled by Thrush and a drunk captain. 5 stars. *

The Napoleon's Tomb Affair: Napoleon jokes are perfect, otherwise very meh. 2+ stars.

The It's All Greek to Me Affair: Absolute farce, slapstick. Waverly to the rescue is the best part. 2+ stars.

The Hula Doll Affair: Absolutely charming episode! N is forced to pretend he's a Thrush operative, as their captive, and protects their new secretary. I spies on the mother Thrush and is adorable. 5 stars. ^*

The Pieces of Fate Affair: less slapstick, solid plot. The author with amnesia and Thrush Diaries one. Less than stellar execution. 3-4 stars.

The Matterhorn Affair: I don't even know where to begin. I don't have words. What even. They brought the slapstick back. But Hal Smith appears so? And the story is actually pretty heartwarming? Cute ending. 3 stars.

The Hot Number Affair: a worthless plot but an amazing time. Stupid and silly and great. The operator conversation. The kazoos! Sonny and Cher. Illya's glaring at Napoleon. 5 stars.

The When in Roma Affair: had a lot of potential. Cute scene with Illya and precocious little boy. Stolen bus. The ending downgraded this episode from solid to disappointing. 3 stars.

The Apple a Day Affair: Quite terrible honestly. I's part of the plot is ok but N's is a train wreck of the slapstick disaster. 2 stars.*

The Five Daughters Affair (1and2): 2 stars probably. Lots of little stories in one. Some really nice moment but far too few.

The Cap and Gown Affair: worthless episode, but really cute scruffy hippie Illya flirting. 2 stars.

S4 Uncle episodes:

(Here the show returns to a much more serious bent, but loses a certain amount of charm it had in the beginning.)

The Summit Five Affair: really stupid villain, ok plot, questionable directing, but the best part is Napoleon being suspected of double agenting and Illya not believing it for a second. 3 stars. ^*

The Test Tube Killer Affair: solid plot with mediocre execution. Not much in the way of Illya content even though he and N share screen time the whole episode. 3 stars.

The J for Justice Affair: again an intriguing plot but not much real content for Illya and Napoleon. 3 stars.

The Prince of Darkness Affair 1and2: thermal prism episodes. 3 stars.

The Master's Touch Affair: Nice plot. Napoleon rescuing Illya from being tortured and used as a pawn. N is great. 4-5 stars. *

The Thrush Roulette Affair: Interesting episode. Plot not super well executed, prolly due to bad pacing. Illya hypnotized into attacking Napoleon. Bad guy gross. 3 stars. *

The Deadly Quest Affair: Great melodramatic episode, terrible directing choices. Illya is held in a gas chamber and Napoleon must rescue him while being hunted. Suspend your belief a little when N and the Girl are dodging bullets and hiding behind literally nothing and this is a 5 star episode. *

The Fiery Angel Affair: a more culturally sensitive episode than usual but not by much lol. Wonderful Illya content, solid plot tbh, and no girl for Napoleon to woo. 4 stars.

The Survival School Affair: sadly no Napoleon. An okay enough and engaging plot. Illya had an entire episode to himself and they barely let him snark anyone. 3 stars.

The Gurnius Affair: Evil Illya! (Faking it.) Genuinely enjoyable and almost silly again. The photographer girl is fairly likeable actually. 3 stars ^

The Man from THRUSH Affair: zero illya equals sad. But an interesting plot and side characters. 3 stars.

The Maze Affair: charming! A return to some silliness but maintaining the drama. Illya is amazing. Thrush displays the worst target practice ever (say they were honing the gun, that works better). Random girl found halfway through who had no real purpose but hey. 5 stars. ^*

The Deep Six Affair: enjoyable, I and N get taken in by British fellow Uncle agent and his fiance, and also get dragged by Waverly multiple times. 3 stars.

The Seven Wonders of the World Affair (1and2): sad for a series end tbh, and the director did not know what they were doing it all. Docility drugs? Secret cult in a secret desert in the Himalayas?? The Shark Affair did this much better. 2 stars. ^*

Bonus! TMFU Movie: The Fifteen Years Later Affair: probably 3-4 stars, it's mostly fun for the affectionate nods to the original series and seeing our two best silly spies together. Nothing super special about the plot.

#some of these feature zero info on what to actually expect from the episode but i may fix that lol #ragamusings #episode guide #the man from u.n.c.l.e.#tmfu #episode ratings #illya kuryakin #napoleon solo #60s tv shows

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