#which was rly nice of him but like. if i just kept my mouth shut then he wouldnt have had to do that at all fdjskl

[piplupod]

are you the most annoying person in the world or do you just need to eat something: a memoir by me

[castle-dominion]

4x12 m for mayor

Loving death. Oh gosh that coat? I recognize.

Martha??? Just like my little bro, finished all his credits & just doing advanced physics. I on the other hand took an extra year of high school. I wanted to go busking in europe for a year after high school before going to college but that didn't pan out. Oh an internship? seriously? She's such a boring goody two shoes which is actually really good for her & I'm proud ig...

hyoid! new york ofc she doesn't have her license. nice coat on castle, becks, espt, & lanie too. Everyone is so pretty today. (oh & ryan also looks great & has that pretty pink shirt with no tie, they keep dressing him in pink right after his marriage, I think that's on purpose. No tie tho which is interesting & brings back s1 vibes but it's rly rly cute) lmao amish. I mean yeah the hutterites mennonites & amish are, well... As a folk catholic myself I should keep my mouth shut. kept the purse? & dumped it? Why not just leave it with the vic? or take the cash just as a bonus?

BIG CHEESE? NO

New actor for the mayor? RW: This is one of New York’s finest, huh, Ricky? RC, fondly: She’s the best. I like him I think. KB: I’ll do my best to keep the nature of your business private. RW: Thanks. I hoped you’d be there, Rick. RC: Fondue night with Alexis, but I did send a cheque. [this one is a cheque not a check] who calls them staffER rather than just staff?

I like how jordan the intern (alexis?) leaves & then the mayor takes rick to talk about the library stuff. RW: You know, I’ll—I’ll leave you guys to work through this unless, Rick, you want to take a look at our new library initiative. It wouldn’t hurt us to have your endorsement on that. RC: For the New York Public Library, my first love? Anything.

BS: I’ve already done your legwork, Detective. The car was checked out by Elizabeth Watson, Senior Director of Communication here at the office. When she left last night’s event around midnight, she discovered that it was missing. [that's really good of him!] *Shay pulls out a piece of paper.* BS: Here’s her statement. [that's taking it a bit far] KB: With all due respect, Mr. Shay, police investigations are usually conducted by the police. [she's right] BS: Yeah, well, unfortunately the 24-hour news cycle moves a hell of a lot faster than you do [yeah lol] and I have to get all my ducks in a row before this thing breaks. It’s my job. [he's right] KB: And my job is to find Laura’s murderer. So, if you don’t mind, and even if you do, [you can still accept the statement & thank him] I’m gonna get my own statement from Ms. Watson about that car, and I’m also gonna need statements from all of your staff as to whether they recognize our victim. [as you should] BS: Knock yourself out. But trust me, you’re wasting your time. [bro] KB: It’s my time to waste. Now, I got a job to do. [she's right] BS: So do I. Let me be clear. Mayor Weldon is my priority, and I’m not about to let this thing embolden his opponents and ruin everything that we’ve built. [he's right]

RC: Step back? These are politicians. They can’t order at a restaurant without two compromises and an ultimatum. Ooh gates is rly pretty Use castle's closeness to your advantage? Oh no castle you ARE biased

KR: No phone calls at all, because Laura Cambridge didn’t own a cell phone. Her credit cards haven’t been used in six months. RC: No cell phone and no credit cards? It’s like she’s from another century. JE: Amish theory’s looking pretty good, bro. Oh, I remember now. This is the phone sex episode. Good will hunting but in reverse. markiplier is the matt damon of poop. Rape or smth? death of a loved one?

Chuckleheads? like that time rysposito kept saying names for suspects & almost f*cked right then & there? Officer & gentleman? lmao. John watson? Mr Harvey: Bunch of deadbeat tenants in here. You ever get bored? I’m sure I could fill up a couple of holding cells for you. Caucasian is actually specific, not just white.

Ooh I love the pattern on the vest, I love esposito's shirt, looks not necessarily ironed but has some good breast pockets, I feel like the pink might contrast with his eyes. I'm a blue-eyed-indian but dang my eyes aren't that blue.

"No Please" really makes me think bad stuff & then Phone sex, babes!!! "yeah I'm still here babey" XD RC: I’d say it’s about $4.99 a minute. It’s not a sweatshop. *points to wall saying dial a goddess* It’s a sex shop.

Good gracious this is... well... I like how the office has dial-a-goddess art on the walls. Makes it feel more like an office. Tho they could work from home. But then they would have to set up secure phoning in their homes & it would just be easier & safer (safety of SWs is important) to route the office for payment & safety & anonymity. RC: Well, being the Chief… *reads the manager's nameplate* ...Sexecutive Officer did you notice any conflicts with her and her colleagues? [lmao sexecutive] MK: Maybe she liked it. We get all types here, Detective: students, actresses, moms. I know an accountant who did it because she liked the challenge…and it turned her on. It's a powerful thing to make a client lust for you.

Lil bro played the minecraft chicken sound & I was so confused for a sec bc I thought it was from-- (I almost called it sherlock)-- (I almost called it murdoch)-- Castle.

So true. You need fellowship & company & sometimes people, esp men, need the intimacy of sex to be able to have that emotional intimacy. Don't tell my mom but I've spoken to my priest about this, when I was in school & really stressed, I would have adult fun a lot, but after school was over (& I increased my testosterone dose too!) I stopped doing so much adult fun. It is a stress reliever. RC: It's therapy. Or…so I've been told. Castle nobody would doubt that you have called a place like this before. Plus you could say "or so I theorize" or smth. I mean remember that plastic surgery case when ryaposito were like "I can't believe the doctor doesn't have porn on his work computer" & the nanny case when castle saw rysposito & the captain standing around a computer & he said "that better not be porn & if it is I want in" like what? Ah well such is life. (Question for all you real adults out there, I'm technically an adult & I'm sort of a man but I'm trans & young & sheltered: do men really jerk off together? Do they sit around & watch porn together? Seems kind of gay tbh, jerking off around other men, comfy with or wanting them to see you jack it? sus. also gross.)

*picks up his phone & immediately has the number up*

WHEN was the door opened tho? Ah gas company. Fake af. Six foot, white, dark hair again.

Hm, usually drinks for actors are just coloured water but this wine has a foam on it, it looks very much like real wine imo.

RC: but that's going to be like looking for a needle in a needle stack. OH HO HO THIS IS A PLOT HEAVY EPISODE? I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE WHEN I FIRST STARTED PLAYING IT BUT THEN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF IT CAN'T BE BUT HERE IT IS IT IS INDEED A PLOT HEAVY EPISODE. HOO HOO HOO. but how so they always seem to be able to catch the murderer after being told not to in these episodes?

Greater forces at play? There is way too much, so much more than just beckett than just beckett's mom, with all the killing & death I think it is not worth it to look the other way for the safety of just one person. What if you DON'T know when it is time? RC: Tell her what? "Hey, Kate, I've been taking calls from a shadowy figure who wants to keep you off your mother's murder case so they don't kill you, too"?

KB on the phone: No, I'm not eating *while eating* RC: Brown cashmere. So, we narrow our suspects down to rich men with impeccable taste. KB: Are you saying you're a suspect? LOTS of phone calls dang. copious is a good word. RC: Are there any calls in there from the Mayor's office? KB: I thought you said you were confident that he wasn't involved? RC: I'm…just trying to be thorough…and impartial. KR: Not yet. But the private sector is well represented. I got calls from The Met, banks, several high profile brokerage houses. No wonder the economy collapsed, huh? btw ryan outfit, no tie, striped shirt (not a fan of stripes), & vest plus jacket with lapel pin. Typical Ryan wear. I prefer castle's stripes, they are a pattern in the weave of the fabric to make it catch the light differently, they are not actually different colours. Nice dark navy blue jacket.

Rystle protecting beckett they both love her so much. RC: A television station! RC: ya idk The way espt says navarro <3 beckett's jacket <3

my brother helped me get ship names for just the main four. 0: nobody 1: castle, beckett, ryan, esposito 2: caskett, rystle, Castlesito castito casposito espostle estle (he actually didn't help me choose), ryckett, especkett, rysposito 3: ryspeckett, ryspostle, caspeckett, Rycaskett 4: rycaspockett caskeitan (I chose rycaspockett but lil bro chose caskeitan which is three syllables but four ppl)

Man had a nice tie I am not the smartest person but here: Polemic = a speech or piece of writing expressing a strongly critical attack on or controversial opinion about someone or something.

Oh no not the mayor! & then the coat nooo

Remember what happened last time castle? with damien? Tho if he DID do it then he ruined his own career.

It's the backgrounds that make the show. I'm noticing this while gates is getter her leftovers for lunch. They have cereal tupperwares on top of the fridge, including fruit loops (froot loops?) & images on the fridge.

RC: You know what I think? I think she's hoping it's him, because if he's gone, I'm gone. She's right, she can't have him with her.

Find a nice private space to talk, you don't need to do it in public you don't need to do it in the interrogation room.

Lol I forgot that this was before castle & gates started to make some leeway.

VG: We are tasked by the City of New York to protect its people. Sometimes that task comes with a cost. I know what they call me, Detective. "Iron Gates." I hear the whispers. "She's from I.A., she must hate cops." Well, the truth is I love cops. My daddy was a cop, my uncles were cops. But the sergeant who assaulted my patrol partner under color of authority, who holds him accountable? We do. Go to the mayor, get him to voluntarily surrender his coat for fiber testing without a warrant. Tell him it's the only way to keep it out of the media. But if he refuses, you get that warrant and you do your job, whatever the cost. This is why I respect gates. I'm anti-cop so I respect her here. Protect the people, keep the cops in line.

He DOES play poker with him lol.

It's going to be the kid right? The intern? I respect that, I'd believe that. Once you are given the context you remember but you don't remember before that. The way castle nods at him. "it is in your best interest" Oh no he killed her? Who is "they"? Ah "they" probably planted his coat. She still needs to get the coat but again they could have planted the evidence. Yeah castle! She totally should have told him that she needed the coat & was going to get it either way. Withholding the coat & then getting it with a court order looks guilty but it looks even guiltier if they find it matches, but then it supports the conspiracy thing if he turns it over bc he believes it is normal. Here's a question tho, what if two coats were made of the same alpaca fur or whatever? What if someone spilled hot sauce on their coat & so the part on the body has hot sauce residue but the part of the coat they test has no hot sauce residue so they don't match? idk how forensics work(s).

Sus parking garage. Does he see the guy's face? not right but not wrong? Man just disappears like that? So cool & sexy bestie.

Ryan not wearing his gun rn. Rly cute tho, nice sweater, he also seems almost to be walking like a girl rn which is weird. Not a hip-problem way like he often does.

woah who's that wearing the unicorn onesie? "I had an epiphany" he says Fellow had a rubik's cube in her office while she was doing phone sex lol

Sarah! Heck yes!

lmao poor greta gramma I remembered it! It was indeed the boy I remembered! tho I feel bad that it was jordan More dangerous than you know though, so like here, why did smith help the investigation if he knew that beckett would get closer to The Big Bad Guy? Wouldn't he try to steer her away to protect her? suspense suspense suspense just spit it out BILL MOSS I KNOW THAT NAME FROM FUTURE SEASONS he has a nice coat btw.

KB: Jordan Norris is a pawn. I want the people controlling him. VG: Oh, it’s a long game, Kate. Play it piece by piece. (sus?) Feel bad for big cheese

RW: There are people out there. I realize it now, people who control what goes on in this city and beyond. I wouldn’t play ball, so they took me out of the game. It’s been decided: this is as far as I get. Like watts the autistic jewish man can't get better than detective, murdoch the catholic autistic man who can't get better than detective, george crabtree the adhd ex-con (innocent) who was raised by prostitutes who can't get better than constable.

RC: I’d be gone from the Twelfth Precinct. Me: not everything is abt you Smith: nono he's right. Smith: You play chess, Mr. Castle? There are times when a well-placed pawn is more powerful than a king. casually says he's a pawn. But good, he reaveals that castle's job is to protect kate, keep her in check.

Like yeah the case wasn't quite resolved but he had to prevent it from going any further, that's what's going on. I see

Oof so yeah that was a good episode.

[plant-flwrs]

ruined parties // older brother draco (implied fred weasley)

masterlist!

a/n: i didn't know how to label this without it looking like an incest fic and I just want everyone to know it is most definitely not an incest fic and I don't know how to make it look better why is this my life

i just saw this in my inbox unreasonably late and I loved it sm so I wrote this little overprotective big brother draco fic :) I wanted to thank @gaycatlord-stuff for the message and the meme because I loved it sm and it rly got the juices in my sahara desert brain flowing.

summary: Draco is a relentlessly overprotective brother who ruins all romantic opportunities for you.

(2k)

-----

Sometimes, you wondered how different your life would be as a muggle. You wondered if your wealthy parents would have shoved you off to a nanny rather than house-elves; if you would have gone to a muggle boarding school and studied classic literature for an actual class and not just for fun, which Draco loved to remind you was one of the weirder things about you; if you would have learned to do laundry and wash the dishes and comb your hair without the brush levitating with a flick of your wand.

You wondered, most of all, how Draco would manage to beat up all the boys who showed interest in you as you grew up.

Draco went through his phases of the ways in which he would 'protect' you. He had really enjoyed the bat-bogey hex for a while in your first year. In second year and most of third year, he went with the safe option of the jelly-legs jinx. By fourth year he had matured to more advanced methods of transfiguration. He had managed to turn Michael Corner into a raccoon for at least a whole day when Michael had offered to carry your bag for you in the hall.

Fifth year was bad. He had been taken in by Snape, who offered him a number of tips and tricks in the world of dark magic. You insisted Draco didn't need dark magic, and he insisted that you mind your own business.

Draco was irritable and nearly unbearable by sixth year. He hovered over you like a vulture, sending glares to anyone who even looked at you. Your friends started calling him Bloody Mary because he was always haunting over your shoulder. You knew it was because your parents were putting a lot of pressure on him and his crush on Harry Potter was becoming inhumanely large, but still. It was annoying.

It was even more annoying when Draco seemed to have met a suitable match in Fred Weasley.

You had a bit of a liking for muggle things. The school year was your only chance to inhabit this hobby, with your father removing all your muggle posters from your room the second you left for the train. You took Muggle Studies and begged Dumbledore not to tell your parents. You had mostly muggle-born or half-blood friends, which you also told your parents nothing about. Draco found this all the more reason to 'protect' you.

"You ought to dye your hair," you gritted out, sulking over your breakfast and resisting the urge to kick Draco's shin under the table.

Draco didn't respond, shoveling beans into his mouth with an unamused look.

"Seriously," you continued. "Your hair doesn't match your energy. Black would be very striking. You and your boyfriend would be matching."

Draco kicked your shin under the table, making you regret not taking your chance earlier. Harry was a sore spot for Draco, but Draco had just done a wandless spell on Ernest Macmillan before he could ask you to Hogsmeade, and he deserved it.

"What are you reading?" He grunted, offering an unspoken truce he knew you would take.

You shielded the cover, "Killing your brother 101. Enlightening."

"How far into it are you?"

"Almost done. I'd prepare yourself if I were you."

Draco hummed, unfazed by your murderous threats.

"You finish the notes for Charms?" you shut your book, stealing a piece of cantaloupe from Draco's plate.

"Yes," Draco looked at you eating the stolen fruit unapprovingly, pulling some sort of older brother superiority with just one look at you. Infuriating.

"What's the time?" You abandoned the Charms notes, no longer willing to admit you didn't do them.

"Just past 7," Draco pushed his plate away from him, standing and straightening his tie.

"See you at dinner," you began putting your things away and Draco mumbled a goodbye, setting off for his own classes. You were just shoveling the last of the beans he left on his plate into your mouth when a foreign group of bodies were across from you in your peripheral.

You lifted your head, hunched over the beans and still chewing, to see Fred, George, and Lee.

You squinted, chewing slowly and leaning back as to avoid any sort of tripwire for a prank.

"Malfoy," Fred said pleasantly, which was not how people usually said your last name.

"Big brother leave you by your lonesome?" Lee added, also not taking the cruel tone most would when talking about your brother.

This was odd.

"What do you want?" you swallowed your food, eyeing them suspiciously.

"I thought she was meant to be the better of them," George stage-whispered to Lee.

"We are here to formally invite you to a party we are hosting," Fred continued, unperturbed.

Lee and George watched you, waiting for your reaction.

"Alright," you agreed and stood, joining your friends in the hall to walk to class.

"That was easier than I expected," Lee said cheerfully, visibly relieved now that he was not in your presence.

"I told you," Fred puffed his chest out confidently and place his hands on the table as he stood, "Without Draco around, she's perfect."

-

The party was in full swing and Draco was drunk. With one guess, you would have to assume it had something to do with the way Harry kept offering to top off his glass, his hand hovering on the small of Draco's back as they talked into each other's ears.

Drunk Draco was a luxury you were not often afforded. Drunk Draco meant living a life of your own, doing things without his watchful eye.

So you also got drunk. Your friends used the term 'waisted' the next morning, but we will say 'drunk' for maturity purposes. And drunk you got!

Fred was always suspiciously close to you, and suspiciously nice once you thought harder on it. You tried not to leave any drink unguarded while he hovered and stayed with friends as often as possible.

You eventually found yourself on a large leather couch in the center of the room. Ron was next to you, stoned out of his mind, and digging around in the pocket of his flannel for more rolling papers. On the other side of you, Luna's head rolled around her neck, falling onto your shoulder and the couch and finally landing on Ginny's lap when she passed out. You watched Ginny stroke her hair, occasionally tracing a line down her nose. Sighing, you accepted the blunt when Ron finally passed it your way.

You were passing it back, sufficiently stoned out of your gourd, when it was plucked from your hands. You thought you had dropped it, jolting back and looking around frantically until you saw those awful, bony, white fingers dangling the now soggy blunt in front of your face.

"C'mon!" Ron groaned, face twisting through the stages of grief as he saw his ruined creation.

"Pot?" Draco said as if he were 40 and with a mortgage.

"Pot," you replied as if you were 17 and at a party.

One of you had an accurate hold on reality. The other held a soggy blunt.

Ron took the soggy blunt and attempted to salvage it, sinking down to his knees to work on the coffee table in front of you. Draco took his seat and set his drink on the table to his side. He didn't drink from it, presumably because of a blunt that had been swimming in it for a moment.

"I thought you were with Harry," you said slowly, torn between wanting to hurt Draco if something had gone badly with Harry and actually wanting to know why he wasn't still with him.

"Yeah, he went up to bed," Draco answered, not sounding pitiful and mournful like he had a habit of sounding after interacting with Harry.

"He didn't take you with him?" you slurred, leaning into Draco's strong and seemingly sober shoulder.

"Shut up," he chuckled, wrapping an arm around your side and hauling you off the couch. You reached into his pocket, finding some loose bills you knew would be there, and slipped them to Ron as compensation before you left.

You felt accomplished, drunk and high, leaving a party after a fun time. It was also a highlight to have given Ron Weasley Draco's drug money.

-

As per usual, you didn't have a date for Hogsmeade. Your friends were all in Madam Puddifoot's with their dates, gazing over the table at each other like lovesick puppies. Draco currently had you in a headlock while he rubbed his knuckles into the top of your head.

You shoved your heal into his foot, making him release you.

You both returned to your drinks with slightly labored breaths and scowls.

Draco was upset because Harry wasn't at Hogsmeade and you were upset because you were in Hogsmeade with Draco. You would have fallen at his knees and begged him to release you from the chains of this sibling dynamic if he weren't the one buying lunch today.

You ate, still scowling, and walked around scowling, and returned to Hogwarts scowling. You hugged each other, scowling, before bed and went to your respective dorms.

-

It was hot and there was no wind. Really, absolutely no wind. The water on the black lake was eerily reflective and the trees were unmoving.

You were walking with some friends, charmed fans moving around you as they blew cold air in your faces. You were returning from Hogsmeade with ice cream, very happy from the outing without Draco.

Regretfully, Draco did not seem to be as happy.

Stepping into the courtyard, you felt a drop of your ice cream land on your hand, sticky and cold and messy, and at the same time, you saw Draco hurl himself at Fred Weasley.

Fred sprawled across the courtyard, landing on some poorly transfigured pillows that you guessed were the product of George's wandless magic. His head was cushioned from what would have been a nasty hit on the stone. He squirmed under Draco, long arms and legs flailing against the steady weight Draco was putting on him.

You watched Lee and George leaning against a wall, presumably letting Fred fight this battle on his own.

You decided to do something similar.

You watched as Fred wrangled himself free, both boys tripping over the pillows until George vanished them. In the free space, they circled each other with their hands raised. It was funny to see two pure-blood wizards fighting so viciously without a hint of magic.

Draco took a step forward with his left foot, tricking Fred out to lunge at him from the right. He had Fred's leg and then Fred was on the ground again, grunting in pain. Draco flipped him and pinned him, knee resting on Fred's back and hands holding his arms together. Deciding Draco had enough fun, you walked over.

"Fight Club?" you offered, quirking an eyebrow.

"Did you go to Hogsmeade?" Draco ignored you, panting slightly. Up close you saw he had a nasty bruise on his cheekbone and some blood coming from his nose. Fred must have gotten a few hits in.

"Yeah," you licked your ice cream, "bloody scorching out."

"Hm," Draco hummed, adjusting his grip on Fred's arm and causing Fred to yelp in pain.

"How are you?" you asked politely.

"Alright. You?"

"Alright."

Draco nodded.

"So, what's this about?"

"He said he was going to prank you," Draco said, shrugging and adjusting Fred's arm again on purpose.

You gasped in faux shock, crouching down to look at Fred.

"A prank?" you asked him, smirking.

"No!" Fred yelped when he tried to move his arms.

You looked to Draco, whose eyebrows were furrowed. "I heard you! You said you were going to take her out!"

"Draco."

"Draco!" Fred yelped, finally getting his arms loose and crawling from underneath Draco's grasp.

"Oh my fucking god."

"Merlin," Fred mumbled, looking at your face and then Draco's guilty expression.

"Oh," Draco said simply, head tilting as he added up the moment's events in his head.

"Oh my fucking god," you repeated.

Draco got his feet under him.

"Oh my fucking god!" you hurled your ice cream cone at his back, hitting him hard as he ran. You chased him, narrowly avoiding the trail of melted strawberry ice cream he was leaving through the halls.

[worldwidemochiguy]

Would you ever write Hybrid fics? If you would, what about a fluffy Drabble with Soft BBYCalico cat hybrid!Jiminie being adopted by an equally soft Y/n🥺💜

yes i actually rly like hybrid fics !! i’d just never gotten around to writing one myself but i guess i have now lol

“This is your first time adopting a hybrid, no?”

“Um, yes, it’s my first time.” You mumbled, following the man, who had introduced himself as Namjoon at the entrance of the pound, as the he led you past countless cages filled with curled up forms, a pair of fluffy ears poking out behind interlocked hands.

“Then you’ll want something more easy going. May I suggest perhaps a bunny or hamster hybrid?”

“Um-“ You were about to agree with Namjoon — you were the non-confrontational sort, and a bunny hybrid sounded kind of nice, actually — but your eyes snagged on one of the cages.

It was only housing one hybrid, unlike the others which boasted maybe eight or nine squished bodies to a cage, and instead of this hybrid being curled up like the others… he was pressing himself against the bars, staring right at you.

When Namjoon saw what you were looking at, he sighed, rubbing the back of his head for a moment, maybe a nervous tick.

“That’s Jimin.”

Jimin you mouthed to yourself. The hybrid pressed himself up against the cage harder.

“You don’t want Jimin. Every one of his previous owners have returned him for… his over-affectionate tendencies.” As Namjoon disclosed this, you felt an irrational need to defend the hybrid bubbling up in you.

“Well why wouldn’t I want an affectionate hybrid?”

Your heart clenched for the poor thing. Everyone knew hybrids had to have a steady home, being abandoned time after time must’ve been so distressing, and now living in this awful place all on his own… an idea was planted and already you could feel it spreading roots.

You should give him the stable home he deserves. You were pretty touch-starved anyway — you had enough self-awareness to admit this — so there was basically no downside.

You approached the cage, taking no notice of Namjoon’s frantically hissed warnings, until you were face to face with the hybrid.

“Hi Jimin.” You breathed, and his full lips curved into a lovely smile. You could tell why he kept being adopted again and again. Owners coveted pretty hybrids.

“Hello,” He replied, in a quiet, high pitched voice.

“Can you open the cage, please?” You asked to Namjoon who was now standing over your shoulder. You saw Jimin’s upper lip curl back slightly at the proximity, and smiled to yourself. Cats were always a bit possessive. So cute.

With a sigh, Namjoon did as he was told and you slipped into the cage, shutting behind you so you were in a way trapped inside with Jimin.

Immediately, Jimin plastered himself against you and you laughed, trying to keep your feet steady while supporting the cat splayed on top of you. He shoved his face into your neck, scenting you thoroughly. This was maybe a little forward for a hybrid, but you didn’t blame him at all. After being moved around so many times, he probably just wanted someone to belong to.

Your heart softened as you rubbed a comforting hand up and down his back, at one point drifting into his sandy hair to scratch his ears. Jimin let out a high pitched whine and sunk into you, arms tightening around your waist as he nuzzled your throat desperately.

“Jiminie,” You murmured, and you felt him smile against your neck, “My name is Y/n, and I’d like to adopt you, if that’s okay.”

Jimin’s tail, which was held high behind him, twitched, just a little, just at the tip. That was the only warning you got before he ripped his head up from your throat and framed your head between his hands. The claws underneath his nails were digging in slightly, but you ignored it. You didn’t want to make him feel bad over something he couldn’t control.

“You want to be… my owner? Mine?”

“Yes, Jiminie,” You smiled, “I’ll be yours. Do you want that?”

Jimin nodded frantically, before burying his face in your neck again and scenting to his hearts content. Namjoon had left to go and retrieve the relevant forms and you sighed contentedly, stroking Jimin’s back and thinking to yourself that you’d definitely made the right decision.

part two

(this gif is so cute akdjjsjahdjda)

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

[reversecreek]

✵ zloane , bravier , nyla and sean

ZIGGY & SLOANE

their first impression of your muse:

sexy. tugged on her hair literally the first time he saw her hadn’t even had a conversation bt was just like target? located. going? ✈️ annoy her. probably initially just thought she was only at the skate park bc sean was n was like 🙄 then she cld actually skate n he was like 😏 liked that she gave him shit. found it funny pushing her buttons. liked her eyes. probably was like wtf is in the fuckin water in this town yo why all my friends got hot sisters that shit aint right tryna make me a dog....... not that he was even. phased by betraying those boundaries bt. still. i won’t lie his main first impression was probably jst damn bit hot when she glares at me like that. KJHFSGKSJHGKGHSFKGH

current impression:  

knows her a little more than he likes to know people. favourite person to argue w. can possibly skate better than him bt if she said so he’d be like “ur off ur fuckin tits man” n then practice secretly on his own for hours that night n get 9457295 scrapes. doesn’t like talking abt her dad like him so one time he put a firework in his mailbox n never admitted it was him. has reactions to youtube videos tht make him snort. quite funny in general rly. drinks a lot not that he can judge it’s just sometimes he notices n once he even snatched her cup n drank the rest so she couldn’t. played it off as their typical fuckery bt he isn’t sure what that feeling was. hasn’t been concerned often enough to know it by name. finds her hot at inappropriate moments like when a movie chara’s dying n he’s meant to be sad. finds her hot when she pisses him off too. thinks mayb she likes the excuse to hold onto him when she rides on his vespa but he kind of likes it too so he’s not about to call it out bc “he isn’t about that deep shit”. 

are they attracted to your muse?:  

KFJHGKJGHFGKFHSGKSHGKSFGH. imagine i was jst like no <3... yes. he likes to act like he’s less so than he is bt it’s obvious.

something they find frightening about your muse:

i wouldn’t say it frightens him bt sometimes he catches her looking at him a certain way n it unsettles him but he doesn’t know why. usually just pretends he didn’t catch it.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

he likes her short hair he’s always ruffling it n tugging on it. whenever she hs bumps n scrapes n bruises from falling off her board n getting back on over n over again jst never giving up or giving a fk. when she acts like she isn’t jealous.

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

umm. no. he’s an asshole. KGJSHFKGHSKFHGSKFGHKGH. sighs.

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

no..... sees that as dangerous territory wouldn’t wna blur the lines. looks away.

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

baddie. FKGJHSKGHFGSFHGSKGHSFKHG. demonic (when they’ve had a fight). 

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no. he loves to argue w her but it never feels that Real u know... more like flirting. even when they’re rly pissed off. wld never enter that territory he hates shit like tht w a passion. cue round of applause from the audience for this absolutely low bar.

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

i feel like they’re not rly huggy people...... ziggy probably puts his arm around her a lot tho he loves doing that. hs kissed her more times than he can count too n doesn’t plan on stopping

BRADLEY & XAVIER

their first impression of your muse:

funny. mean in a more digestible way than she was used to. he had barbs n she liked the way people winced when they tried to swallow his company. when she got paired w him for a class project she met his eyes across the room n he didn’t quickly look away like most ppl. something abt that intrigued her. a sharp fingernail inside her head kept having to itch at something n she realised it was the urge for him to call her a bad name. this weird craving to hear an angry word inside his mouth just for her. she used to think that’s what someone wanting her was like. still does sometimes. this both pissed her off n caught her attention which is a bit of an accomplishment fr someone who gets bored by everyone n everything.

current impression:  

his heart’s more good than she expected. it felt a bit like having a cat drop a dead mouse at ur doorstep that u don’t know what to do with when she realised that. she felt uncomfortably like her mother when she couldn’t get out of his bed bc she was too depressed n that rly made her feel like. ill honestly. he did all the right things but suddenly she just felt sick abt the whole situation which is Not the normal reaction to ur bf caring about u but bradley doesn’t understand ppl caring abt her. felt more like pity. she thinks he’s better off. she misses him sometimes bt then she reminds herself she doesn’t miss people. does a good job of believing it. one of the best ppl she’s dated not that she’d say it.

are they attracted to your muse?:  

yes..... ws probably. unhinged n rabid when they were dating. very good at hiding it now however. cold at the drop of a hat.

something they find frightening about your muse:

that he witnessed her being vulnerable............ literally grosses her out so much like she’d rather die than. anyone see her like that. when they were dating she’d get paranoid her dad wld somehow find out too n smthn wld happen to him for it. it ws definitely weird for her like the fact she even cared enough to consider tht.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

adorable is rly not a word that fits into bradley’s vocabulary GHSFGHSFKGHSFKG bt hm. maybe if he ever tried to tell her what to do one time even casually. she’d b like awww..... u think i do what anyone tells me? that’s so fucking sweet. 

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

in most cases no :/..... however if it was smthn to do w the guys that work for her dad then ya she’d put herself in danger to avoid him being in it.

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

i mean she has in the past bt bradley’s idea of dates is like. starting a bar fight together. getting thrown out of a club n both falling over into trash cans in a dingy back alley. stealing a car. breaking into a random house n fking in a stranger’s bed. fking in the bk of a movie theatre w a horror movie screening. definitely not dinner or anything like tht. she wldn’t now........ they’re not exactly in a place fr that..... 

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

ex. whatever. i know it’s not one word but “some guy”. FGHSKGHFGKSHG >_>

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no. she’s a violent person bt not xavier.

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

NO hugging...................... she fronts like she wldn’t kiss him bt like. if a discussion got heated n they were in each other’s faces who’s to say. 

NYLA & SEAN

their first impression of your muse:

strange little fella which is a very high compliment. kind of reminded them of an animated turtle come to life in the human realm altho they honestly don’t have an explanation for that it’s just the way their brain works. they love the turtles in finding nemo tho so maybe there’s some sort of correlation. very nice face. they kind of wanted to hold his head like a bowling ball just so they could examine it properly. i feel like when they first met him they probably reached out n smoothed a sticky label onto his forehead that said ‘catfish in chernobyl’ n they had one on their forehead that was blank n then they just wafted a pen mid air n were like ‘wanna play guesses?’ even tho that isn’t the name of the game. as if that was just. a completely normal introduction to someone. FGKHSKHGSFKGHSFKG. feel like sean wld have rolled w that tho so nyla was like :P i like.... if they played another round they’d give sean another sticky label that said ‘the loneliest whale in the world’ n then it’d start a whole conversation abt how nyla thinks they can speak whaleish. (whale spin on elvish). 

current impression:  

sean makes them think of that artificial blue raspberry flavour some popsicles have n how it’s always rly fun when they stain ur tongue. sweet n exuberant n leaves a bright impression. he lets them ride on his skateboard sometimes rolling along being lead by them holding his hand n nyla likes to shut their eyes like they’re a bird sailing above the clouds. one of their favourite things to do especially when the sun’s out. bc of this nyla thinks sean was a bird in his past life but not a greedy one like a seagull or a plain one like a pigeon. maybe a bluebird bc of his eyes. he makes them laugh a lot. they entrusted him to babysit their children (as pictured) in his hair for a whole day and night once n they had lots of fun with him so nyla thinks he’s very trustworthy and kind. he also is rly easy to talk to like they cld randomly be like “i’ve been thinking lately that maybe homer simpson could’ve been a good figure skater” n sean wldn’t look at them like they’ve lost their marbles he’d just go w it. they like his company a lot.

are they attracted to your muse?:  

😏

something they find frightening about your muse:

ummm nothing in particular altho one time when they were rly tripping out bc his eyes are blue n it got them thinking abt the ocean n they always think they can talk to ghosts underwater so they were kind of like. thinking abt ghosts whenever they looked him in the eyes. maybe covered their own w their hands n if sean asked why they told him abt it. suddenly he shut his eyes to make them feel better n it turned into a whole thing where nyla had to lead him around the party like a guide dog.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

his nose. watching him talk to his siblings. his hands.

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

😌 yea

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

yes............ feel like they’d have fun if they went anywhere tbh........ cn imagine them at a fair eating from the same cotton candy n chattering as they point out things. nyla trying to do that hammer game where u make the meter reach the top n lifting the hammer in the air n falling backwards bc it was heavier than they anticipated.... sean yelling like man down man down..... mayb they take a tab n suddenly the fair is so scary they’re like 😳 we’re in danger...

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

silly (affectionate). sailor (also term of endearment). gnome (same thing again). cool.

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no ur sick....

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

ya to both. jst suddenly had a vision too of nyla being cold one time n clinging to sean from the front like a bushbaby in a hug as he carries her around. suddenly this mode of transportation hs happened more thn once (godmod) (contact my lawyers if u dare bebe) (bitch) (i take it back) (it wasn’t right alli it jst wasn’t right) (pelase forigev m eim shakign)

[sweetiejunie]

Who’s There?

Summary: it was early in the morning yet someone was in the library with you

Genre: smut

Yeonjun x reader

Noted: to the anon that requested this. So this turned out to be more of shy boy!yeonjun rather than sub!yeonjun so ill probably attempt to write another sub concept for him :’)

=====================================

It was a quiet day in the library. Well, it was 9am on a school day so what did you expect? Everone had already gone for their lessons.

In case you hadn’t figured it out, you were skipping your class.

You always despised your lecturer for that class. He was rude and insulting towards his student, you could list more things but i dont have all day to type all of it out.

All in all, that’s how you ended up in the deafening silent library on a monday morning, smell of old books surrounding you. Dressed in a cute floral wrap dress as you aiminglessly roamed the shelves, hands grazing across the books, waiting for a title to catch your interest.

You didn’t want to address it but, as you had been walking around you felt a pair of eyes on you, which felt strange since you figured no one else would be here.

“Who’s there?”

No answer. Thinking it was just your imagination, you chose to ignore it and continued on your quest.

After some time of wandering around, you wanted to give up on finding something to read when you came across the title ‘the map of time’. A thrilling melodrama of a man who could travel back in time.

Picking the book from the shelf, you found a nice, cozy couch next to a row of windows, claimed it and started reading. As if there was anyone else there to fight for it with you.

It was quite an interesting book if you had to admit. You would have been completely engrossed in it if it weren’t for that strange sensation of the same pair of eyes from before still watching you. Wanting to catch the culprit you jerked your head up, catching a glimpse of someone’s hair before it disappeared behind a shelf. The biggest clue you got was that the hair was blue, and immediately you knew who it belonged to. Of course it could only have been that boy, choi yeonjun.

You found out about his little crush on you from your tattletale of a friend Beomgyu. You never thought much of it but after that you started to pay more attention to yeonjun. You didn’t have a chance to see him very often but you had started to realise that he may have caught your interest too.

Yeonjun was a carefree boy that everyone thought to be full of confidence but never dared say two words to you and that you admittedly said to be cute. You never really confronted or teased yeonjun about this before so you figured, why not today?

You put your book down, you walked towards the shelf you last saw him at. Looking at his reflection in the window, you saw how he was leaning against the shelf, hands to heart, eyes wide, catching his breath as if he was just caugh red handed, which he was. You silently chuckled at his reaction and continued walking towards him.

Poking your head around the corner, you greeted him, “hello.”

Yeonjun jumped, making you laugh as you walked forward so you were in full view in front of him.

“Sorry, i didnt mean to scare you.”

He nodded, not saying anything as he tried to compose himself after the shock.

“So what are you doing here? Don’t you have class?” You asked, not wanting to immediately point out the fact you caught him creeping on you.

“Oh- i er... my class was cancelled,” he answered simply.

Humming a response you continued, “so care to explain why you were watching me?”

You already knew the answer but yeonjun’s face turn a bright pink as he avoided eye contact was something worth seeing. You smirked as you watched him struggle for an answer.

“I... I... I’m sorry, i didnt mean to. I was just-” he stumbled out.

You kept quiet for a while, loving the sight of the embarassed boy that everyone thought to be ‘mr. Confident’. Oh, this was going to be fun.

“It’s okay. But you know, i heard from someone that you have a crush on me. Is that true?”

Yeonjun chocked at your sudden question. Mouth hung open at a lose for words.

“Cause you know,” you took a step close to him, grabbing his hands placing them around your waist, keeping your hands on his.

Watching how yeonjun physically looked like he was about to break down, leaning in closer before continuing, “if it was true, i would admit that I’m interested in you too.”

Yeonjun’s eyes were blown wide open at your sudden confession, face and ears a bright shade of red. You took a half step back, smirking at him before held the back of his neck, lips landing on his.

It was a gentle kiss at first. But that only lasted until yeonjun had left his dazed, flustered state and processed what was happening. His grip around your waist tightened while one of his hands wandered to your cheek, holding your face in place. You took this as a sign to deepen the kiss.

Your hands glided down to his chest, his stomach, and back up, admiring his toned figure through his shirt. Whimpering slightly when you felt him flex under your touch as one of your hands travelled further down.

You broke the kiss to speak, earning a whine from the boy.

“Does baby boy like it when i touch him?” A devilish smirk plastered actoss your face, you hand ghosting over the slight bulge in his jeans.

“Do you want me, yeonjun? You still havent answered if the rumour is true that you like me. I need an answer before i can do anything,” your eyes fluttering down to your hand then back up to his face suggestively as you bit your lip.

Once again, your actions left yeonjun a flustered mess and all he managed to choke out was a measly, “yes.”

“Yes to which question baby?”

“Yes to everything. I like you and i want yo- no, i need you,” he let out in one breathe.

That was all the confirmation you needed for hand to start massaging him through his tight jeans, that you could only imagining getting more uncomfortable by the second.

Yeonjun moaned at the contact, causing you to tsk.

“You have to be quiet my baby. There’s no one here but we’re still in a library afterall, the librarian’s still here and there are still rules. Can you do that for me?” you whispered into his ear, breath tickling his skin.

Mouth shut in a straight line, yeonjun frantically nodded at your request, desperate for more.

“Good boy,” you praised as you leaned in to kiss him again, hands working on his belt, unzipping his jeans and bringing his hard member out from his briefs.

This time the kiss was needy and hungry as you felt his member press against your lower stomach. You felt yeonjun’s hands move down your waist, to your hips, stopping at your bottom. Squeezing lightly, cueing you to wrap your arms around his neck and jump, straddling his waist.

He walked you forward until your back hit the opposite shelf, not breaking the kiss a single time. And just your luck, it had to be the literature shelf.

You thanked whatever braincell of yours decided to put on a dress that morning and preyed Shakespeare will never see your crude behaviour disrespecting his books. But then again he did write Romeo and Juliet.

One of your hands slipped down between your bodies, taking yeonjun’s throbbing cock in your hands as you started pumping him, spreading his precum, using it as lubricant. He moaned into the kiss causing your core ached from need.

“Yeonjun,” you whined.

And as if through telepathy, he knew exactly what you wanted. Hooking his arm under your tigh, he moved your panties to the side as you guided him inside you.

You both let out soft moans at the sensation as yeonjun slid further in you, his length stretching you out deliciously.

“Move baby boy.”

His thrusts were slow at first, being mindful of the amount of noise you were making. The possibility of the librarian discovering the two of you just added to the thrill.

“Fuck yeonjun, you can go faster than that,” you moaned, planting kisses down his neck, holding on to him for dear life.

That was the first time yeonjun heard you say his name that way and he had to admit- he loved the way it rolled off your tongue. His thrusts got faster and harder, letting out a low groan every now and then at the way you tigthened around him.

With each snap of his hip, he hit that sweet spot inside you. With each thrust, you felt your lower back hit the shelf behind you and you knew that if anyone were near enough, there was no way you would have got away with this.

As you approached your high, you he was as well as his actions got sloppier.

“Jun-i i want you to cum inside me,” you managed to let let out between moans.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s alright. I can take the pill,” burrying your face in the crook of his neck as this thursts got harder, chasing his high.

With a few more thurst he came undone. The feeling of his warm seed in you trigerring your own high. You both stayed like that for a while as you caught your breath.

“I really like you y/n,” he suddenly admitted.

His confession caused you to giggle, “well, i would hope so. Considering the fact you’re still in me right now.” Nodding your head, gesturing to the srea where you were still connected.

“Ri- right, sorry,” he apologised, face red as he slid his softened member out.

He put you down gently, holding on to you until he was sure you wouldn’t fall. After you both had made yourselves presentable again, he rested his forehead against yours.

“Shall we get to class? For once I’m glad we’re in the same lecture hall,” he whispered before gradding your hand, leading the way.

.

.

.

=====================================

So not rly a sub!yeonjun so ill be writing another one soon. If u have other requests, send them in and ill see what i come up with 😚 hope you liked this!

Masterlist

[deafwestnewsies]

the world is quiet here

stanley uris is finally in control. 

suicide ment.

read it on my ao3 and ff.net! 

stanley didn’t mind the empty space before him, if he was going to be honest. and generally that’s exactly what he was, good and kind stanley uris, good and reliable stanley uris, good and faithful stanley uris. 

he was now good and dead. good and gone. good and slashed-his-wrists-in-the-tub. 

people probably didn’t view him as good anymore, but great, a hero within his own right, because that’s what people would do when others took to a razor blade instead of a therapist. hell, stan had done it himself back in junior year of college, when the kid three doors down from him jumped off the balcony with a note pinned to his chest. he had shed the crocodile tear and made the poor bastard out to be someone they would all remember for years to come. the irony, the wry thought crossed his mind, is that i can’t remember his name. and they won’t remember mine. 

patty would, of course. the one of seven people he felt guilty leaving, the good and demure patty uris, patty uris who would cry at the funeral but be able to cover the expenses on her own because that’s the kind of woman he married. she was the most stable of wives and doted on him like her life depended on it, and in some instances he supposed, it did. life was not easy for a child growing up jewish in the nineteen fifties, and she would whisper with a dry throat what a nightmare it was to be a child growing up jewish and female in the nineteen fifties. her nails would rake across her arms like a nervous habit when she told him these stories until he had the sense to hold her until she stopped trembling. the tics went away eventually but the rasp in her throat when she repeated “Peacock Patty” never faded. he had dealt with his own share of names stan the man the jew with the plan but nothing that left him reeling in bed on nights when it was hard to shut his eyes. 

so yes, patty would remember. his parents too, but he didn’t need them to do him that kindness, he wouldn’t have minded being forgotten by donald and andrea uris. they had been good parents as any tried, but in the end slowly ebbed to the back of his mind with the rest of Derry. stanley always thought this was odd and patty always thought he was lying to her, but he had no recollection of his childhood. there was a name and a spot on the map with a red pin stuck through, but names and faces were troubling to recall. the only thing he could recount with complete certainty was the losers club, billstanrichieeddiebeverlymikeben. they were names he did keep from patty though, because maybe it was for the better, maybe it was for her safety, or maybe it was for his. 

eventually it would have come to this anyways. either the stupid dancing clown could bring him to this quiet world, or he could deliver himself. stanley had always enjoyed being the one in control, but not the man in charge. he would mastermind the projects, keep the schedule, and ensure that the work was done right, but he stepped aside for someone with a loud mouth to make sure it all happened. when things fell out of his control, when he cleaned his glasses four times but they still sat wrong on his face, when he flicked the light switch eight times but he still had to call patty to make sure she was okay, that’s when the fear would settle deep inside of him.

the same that reached through his intestines and pulled on his ribcage when mike billstanrichieeddiebeverlymikeben hanlon had called him, when he asked for stan to do the impossible. give up his control. 

his last exertion of power had led him here, and he really didn’t mind it, if he was being honest. which he was, because that’s just who stanley uris is. good and honest and nice and good and stanny boy and kookie kookie and a sliver of a coke bottle and dead. 

___

eddie hated it here. the walls were all fucking white but there actually weren’t any walls it was just white empty nothing that he just kept walking towards with no goddamn avail. if he had a watch he would have to guess that he had been here for at least three hours, but time and space didn’t seem to fucking matter when you’re in a white never-ending nothing. 

he kept walking because what else was there to do. 

he called out for richie once or twice, though. no one answered. 

___

stanley sat with his legs crossed, because any other way would’ve made him feel sick. he looked out into the vast blackness of the new world he inhabited, until a voice cut through the eternal silence. “richie? are you there?” a faded figure in the distance, just a shadow of a man. billstanrichieeddiebeverlymikeben. stanley tapped on his knee in groups of four. 

“rich i swear i’m not mad!”

taptaptaptap

“if this is a joke it’s really not fucking funny dickwad!”

taptaptaptap taptaptaptap 

“richie?”

taptaptaptap

“richie are” taptaptaptap “you there?”

“please.” the voice broke. stanley now lie in the aftermath. 

“please be there.” 

taptaptaptap taptaptaptap 

if stanley wasn’t smarter than that, he could swear that the man calling out was little eddie kaspbrak the asthmatic with an ass all grown up. against all of the white, he could see the blood dripping in a trail behind him. he could understand the mess, because his wrists made their own. this is how stanley uris knew he was not looking at eddie kaspbrak, because that boy would have never let himself bleed freely. (nonviable tissue, ischemia, haematoma, immunosuppression) (robin, blue jay, sparrow, bald eagle) 

“richie!” stanley almost reached for the man’s hand as he trailed by, still wailing for a man that was never going to come. he thought better of it, though. he didn’t know this man. taptaptaptap. he didn’t know what would happen. taptaptaptap. 

eventually the voice faded and stanley was left again, alone with the clean white room. and he didn’t mind it, because it reminded him of the puffy clouds against a bright blue sky, standing on the tip of the world with billstanrichieeddie- what were their names again? billstanrich- how long ago had it been? bill- what promises, mike? what did we promise? 

stanley didn’t mind the empty space before him, if he was going to be honest. and he always was, because that’s the kind of man everyone needed him to be. 

___ 

eddie hated it here. it was so fucking empty. 

i just adore writing from stanley's point of view esp. when there's no romance it's just stan being the man. also BIG sad react for eddie in this, it made me rly sad to write. please leave a comment and i will attempt to murder a killer clown with a baseball bat after yelling "welcome to the loser's club asshole!" for you

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode I -The Phantom Menace

So.. I got the idea of writing my thoughts up as I go basically as they get to the Gungan city so.. i’ll try and remember my thoughts before that and then I’ll do it kinda live. Under the cut cus long. 

Alright.. So the opening crawl was very.. politics which to be honest as i’ve got older I actually kind of enjoy that side of Star Wars but it doesn’t really add anyhting to the actual film because I think everything thats in it could be picked up by just watching the film. 

I kinda like the battle droids.. weird soft spot for them. I like the big ship ones too and Droidekas i thought were the coolest shit ever when i was a kid and i stand by that. 

I’m not all that bothered by the racial stereotypes because like.. i’m not the races they’re sterotyping but i can see why it’d be problematic.

Jar Jar isn’t as annoying as everyone makes him out to be.. don’t get me wrong.. he’s annoying.. but he’s not cancer. 

Aesthetically the Gungan City is pretty cool, giant underwater bubble city.. i bet there’s cool fan art of it somewhere. 

Alright now we’re live.. The duck things the Gungans ride are weird. 

Do Gungans like JarJar eventually become the giant Green guy? .. I googled apparently they’re just two different races of Gungan despite looking like totally different Aliens.

It’s nice that all races are like “Life debt? Oh yeah thats a legit thing.”

Gungans speak like English or Common or.. i forget the Star Wars term.. Basic? is their second language.. but it isnt. 

Yooo Qui Gon just made JarJar go to sleep using the force.. Why is Force Sleep not a thing in more stuff... gotta keep an eye out for that now. 

Naboo is pretty.

Padme is so extra, she’s in her iconic red dress that’s already extra as fuck and then sees that she’s been captured and is like “Alright.. but first.. wardrobe change!” and then shows up in some black number. I’m not sure if at this point she’s actually Padme or if Padme is pretending to be one of her servants now but either way she had a costume change and nobody questions it so she must be having costume changes all the time. 

When Qui Gon force pushes two battle droids theres a really weird sound effect that sounds like it belongs in a mario game. 

Pretty sure Padme is the handmaid now and this new Queen should take the opportunity to be like “Yoo peace out bitches.” Then we get Keira Knightley’s adventures in Star Wars.

Also who was she before this swaparoo? Was she a handmaid and just suddenly got promoted to queen? Like she could be saying all sorts of shit. I know she gets revealed later on but think of how much she could do whilst Padme is away. 

The first words ever spoken to R2 in Star Wars, chronologically, (although inderectly) are “Hello Boyos”. Just sit with that. 

The first words spoken to him directly are “How rude.” which seems about right tbf with how sassy he is. 

Darth Maul is awesome. 

Keira Knightly or Sabe (I looked it up) is like “Yo actual queen, clean that droid!” i think she just wanted to feel more powerful than the actual queen there, little power trip. 

Nice Poncho Qui Gon. Cal approves. 

I wonder how long Padme took to convince the others to let her go off alone with Qui Gon and Jar Jar and R2 (Dunno why R2 joins them?) on a planet thats ruled by the Hutts

I kinda like Watto.. not as a person.. he just amuses me.

Kinda cool that Anakin can speak Huttese, wish he spoke it more often.. just cursing in Huttese as Obi Wan tries to teach him stuff. 

“Are you an Angel.” Smooooth kid. Smoooth, you’re gonna get with her. Despite her being way older than you. They couldn’t have just made him the same age as her? 

Toydarians should be used for more things, especially involving force users. 

Anakin. The slave. Is like “Here Qui Gon, you’ll like this food.” and he’s just like “Cheers” and pockets it for later. Dude. Try it. 

I really hope they do go into more High Republic stuff next, give me a Destiny-type game where you play as a Jedi with your mates. 

Quigons like “You must have Jedi reflexes to race pods” Then he catches Jar Jars tongue in a blink of an eye and Anakins like “You’re a Jedi Knight aren’t you?” And Qui-Gon is like “What makes you think that?” ...? .. You just fucking.. God damn it Qui-Gon. 

Anakin: “No one can kill a Jedi”. Palpatine: “Hold my Blue milk.”

I feel like im becoming fluent in Gungan broken basic which is worrying. 

Anakins mom whos name i’ve literally just forgot is like “He was meant to help you.” ... bitch.. what? Why does nobody question that? 

WHY DOES JAR JARS MOUTH MOVE WITH OTHER PEOPLES LINES!? ... Darth Jar Jar.  #PlagueisTheWiseWasAGungan. I mean not rly but seriously.. that would have been a really cool plot twist. 

Jar Jar got numbed and got his hand stuck.. so like.. perhaps not.. otherwise you’re playing a little too dumb mate. 

The look of worry from Shmi, good stuff. 

The two Headed announcer speaking basic and Huttese is pretty smart like, the one doing one and the other doing the other. 

What the fuck is Clegg Holdfast?

What the fuck are any of these races? Like.. where are these races throughout the rest of the franchise? 

Crazy that lightly bending that one part of the podracer can fuck it up so bad. 

Who the fuck is that other Hutt? Oh yeah I’m watching the like updated version with Geroge Lucas’ “Fixes” in it. Probably should have said that earlier. 

I cant remember if this is true but I’m pretty sure Qui-Gon knows Padme is the Queen and is just fucking with her at this point. 

Man Pod Racing is cool, fuck whoever says it isnt. 

Gimmie an updated Pod Racing ps4 game.

What the fuck is that long thin alien thats selling food to the crowd? Gimmie a Jedi version of him. 

Havent commented in a while because i just kept watching it tbh.

Coruscant looks cool. Still want more High Republic stuff. 

What the fuck is that driver alien, he looks in pain to exist. 

“There is no civility, there is only politics” The Chancellor code. 

Is it too late to call a vote of no confidence on Palpatine? 

I see you there in the background Yaddle. Get it girl. 

Fuck me the added extra of this long neck ass Jedi Master is so distracting. 

Where Jaro Tapal at tho?

You’d think after Padme’s like “Surprise bitch it’s me” moment coming up the Jedi would be like “Well shit.. maybe we’re less aware of things than we think... Yoda.. are you just a short human painted green?” 

Amedala... So extra with these outfits. I get that she’s a Queen but Jesus. 

Eyyyyyyyyyyyy it’s ET. 

Qui-Gon is such a bad boy. 

I kinda get why Jedi take kids when they’re really young, so they can’t remember their parents so they aren’t constantly worried about their parents and then fall to the dark side... doesn’t make it any nicer though. 

My vote went to Bail Antilles. 

To be fair not training Anakin could have been very bad. He could have like gone even more Darkside and Palpatine could swooped in and trained him himself completely. 

Maul is barely in this but fuck is he still cool. 

You know what I don’t hate Midichlorians. They’re just like atoms that stick to certain people and thats what gives them access to the force, it doens’t really change anything it’s just a scientific explination. 

You know what.. During the middle of the film, Jar Jar keeps his mouth shut and just lets people get on with it, that’s alright. 

How old is Obiwan supposed to be in this film? 

A little more variation in these creepy ass gungans would be nice. 

Damn the Viceroy and the other guy are huge or Maul is smol. 

Love that Gungan dindgeridoo horn thing. 

I also love the giant bubble shields. 

Are they watching a Star Wars battle tactics pc game on that screen?

Fuck The Darth Maul fight is badass. 

I don’t buy Anakin at all, he wants to fly out there and get involved, the little shit. 

Quigon doesnt even flip when he jumps, he’s just like “I’m too old for this shit.”

Yeah R2 is like “Go back” and Anakins like “Naaa fuck that”... Tut tut. Boys gonna be trouble.

The way Maul stalks back and forth the other side of that barrier like a Sith Tiger.. Good shit. 

Aaaaand Quigon is dead. RIP. 

“Now This is Pod Racing.”.. It’s not though is it? 

Nice to have something blow up and actually have debris instead of just all being gone completely. 

Anddd there goes Maul to go get robot spider legs and then be found by his bro Savage. 

Why do you wanna bring balance to the force anyway if it’s currently so one sided favouring the light side? Surely bringing balance is a bad thing at that point. 

Yoda’s already soooo old. 

Alright so they know there’s a Sith out there and the guy is still just like right next to them and they don’t know. Tut. 

That Jedi behind Mace Windu at the end looks intimidating as shit. 

Padme, he’s a kid, calm yourself down woman. You predator. 

Alright.. Film done. 10/10 Best movie ever. Naa tbh I enjoy the prequels more than most, obviously if you’ve stuck with me this long you know that but it clearly has its flaws.. still.. I enjoyed it! Feel free to ask me my opinions on specific things if you want.  Also shamelessly gonna plug my two star wars muses Cal and Savage here, rp with me you cowards. Also I’m down to star wars verse any of my other characters, literally any of them, i have ideas for all. 

[beihonglin]

anyway i met bei honglin and he’s an actual angel and we don’t deserve him: a recap

also this is more than 5k words so like ! prepare yourselves!

fhdjjd okay so in april honglin’s hyh brought up his birthday party in his gc and I was like :——) that’s when spring sem ends I could actually make it

 fast forward through a lot of encouraging by summer miss @91percentchaoze​ (sobs I rly owe summer my life) and a lot of anxiety about flights and a lot of other stresses in between

and June 2nd I’m in shanghai with mirthe miss @honglinsmacaroni​ and meggi and summer ie three of the cutest people in the world!!!

when we get to banana there were already other fans there waiting at the event space and the hyh was giving out seat numbers and stuff

so meggi was 10, summer was 11, mirthe was 14 and I was 15

and we started giving out the slogans and stuff we printed until the staff chased us out so they could set up

and so we were chilling first in Starbucks w the other fans fhdjjfjf they’re rly so cute I was finally able to put faces to weibo handles & they finally realised they were talking to someone who’s actually shit at speaking Chinese lmao

then when it got to 2 o’clock we moved outside near the entrance of the event space (since the event space was supposed to be open to us at 2)

but they got the time wrong and we ended up only being able to go in at nearly 3

which isn’t important anyway bc !!! we saw tangram walking in !!!

okay so we saw this white blob coming out from the main banana building and walking towards one of the side buildings and we were like

whomst

and it wAS JINGZUO JSDKAHFKJDH

and summer or mirthe waved at him and he was like bitch wtf and squinted

like ??? who the heckity is waving at me but then eventually he connected the dots and was like o yah fans so he waved back fhdchdkhcjdjf

and he just walked on what a king ??????

summer was right I was surprisingly more chill than I thought I would be fhdjfjfjjf I thought I would cry but I didn’t

so we waited around a bit longer, got suntans and sunburns and slightly dehydrated

and then honglin walks out

my god y’all he’s a whole goddamn angel he’s not real I’m telling you he’s unreal

I KNOW I said the last time that yanjun is rly unphotogenic and all the photos don’t do him justice but leT ME TELL YOU

THE ENTIRE BANANA FAMILY IS LIKE THIS THEYRE UNREAL

THEYRE ALL BANANA PEELS IN HUMAN SUITS THEIR VISUALS ARE ??? NOT HUMAN

but yah at first I was like o he’s gonna go through the back exit to the event space he’s not gonna come this way

AND THEN HE CAME THIS WAY

fhdjfjfj i didn’t take a video but if I did u would probs hear me go “o shit he’s coming” fhdjfjfj

and mirthe was like I’M GONNA TELL HIM UR WEIBO HANDLE I’M GONNA TELL HIM YOU’RE ASTROFIREWORKS and I was like NO so then we had a little back and forth for a while tHAT HONGLIN SAW FBDJHFJF

I don’t rmb a lot of it bc I was mainly in shock that he was in front of me so I was mostly like :——) heckie!

but he went through the front entrance and the moment he made it inside I lost my shit fbdjfjjff

mirthe sent a picture of me just kneeling at the entrance contemplating my entire life to the group chat fhdjfhdj apparently I said that I wanted to go home fhdjfjfjjf

and then zhixie and jingzuo came out soBS

ZHIXIE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IRL U DONT UNDERSTAND HIS CHEEKBONES ARE INSANE

also he had black hair again and the cuTEST HAT ON and we promptly lost our shit

Jingzuo,,,,, in a plain white shirt and blue jeans and converse,,,, someone PLEASE stop him

but they went in and we cried

and waited outside bc ruotian and chaoze still hadn’t gone in but then someone came to tell us chaoze was off filming for his show so he wasn’t coming & somehow ruotian had alr made it into the building without us noticing so eventually we all went in

and the chairs were so comfortable o my god they swivelled and they were like super squishy I love chairs

and then the best two hours of my tgm stan life started :—(

my god the moment honglin stepped on stage my entire heart melted he rly looked so good sobs

you’re completely right I’m dedicating an entire portion to his visuals

his eyes :—-( are so sparkly my god

and when he smiles his eyesmile???? he gets those rly deep wrinkles around his eyes and they’re actually beautiful????? ;;;;

he Radiates joy like i know i say this so often but their debut song??? radiant??? written For him,,,

also when he smiles it’s so warm like you find yourself smiling along bc he rly and genuinely means it and is happy and your heart just warms up bc he’s happy and i just

man i l*ve him

okay so the first segment zhixie was like “what do y’all love about beibei”

and everyone was yelling different things like “he’s so handsome” and “so talented” and “his vocals” and someone also yelled “he can eat a lot” and zhixie was like ??? bro whAt

also someone said “he spoils his fans a lot” and my god y’all it’s so so true but more in that at the very end of this recap

I couldn’t even say anything rip bc my entire brain was set in English and I was like ???? my god i wrote an entire post about the reasons I l*ve him but my mind is blankity blank

but then he was like well beibei’s great at pick up lines

so he did pick up lines based on scenarios zhixie gave fhdjfjfand most of them were old tsk

but he made up this rly cute one that went like 看花开不如���着你发呆 ‘people like looking at flowers bloom, but i’d rather look at you daydreaming’ and i UWUED SO HARD

and I didn’t realise this until meggi pointed it out after but when they put the scenarios on screen, they used a gender neutral “TA” instead of the gendered 她/他 ;;;;;

then they did this segment where honglin was supposed to go against three fans and do a tongue twister in the shortest time and in order of time they got to choose foods under cloches

honglin did so badly fhdjfjfj he got last place but idk if he did it on purpose so his fans could win

one fan got wasabi disguised as ice cream and zhixie was like EAT IT and honglin was like DONT

and he offered to eat the wasabi for her I’m sobbing he rly is so sweet

but zhixie was like NO SHE HAS TO EAT IT and everyone laughed bc he was so adamant fhdjfjfj i love zhixie with my entire soul

and thEN honglin goes okay y’all know how I posted that picture last night

(this picture)

my god I died when he posted it bc

1) I love that shirt what an expensive look

2) he was baking ;A;

and he made a half-baked cheesecake s o b s

he was like: “since i’m always posting vlogs and y’all always watch me eat I thought I’d make food for y’all this time” and I WEPT

and he was like oh give me a theme and i’ll decorate the cake around that theme

so they pulled out the box again and he picked random numbers

and they called out 4 and 15 and 27 to go on stage and I was like

wow I wonder who they are omg

and suddenly summer’s in my ear going MY GOD 15 IT’S YOU

me:

me: what

zhixie: STOP DREAMING IT’S YOU

me: WHAT

hdsflgkjhdfkhgjdsfgkhksfgkdjhdfgkjhsdgjh

and the entire time i was mouthing to mirf and meggi like I CAN’T SPEAK CHINESE I’M GOING TO GO UP AND FORGET THAT I’M BILINGUAL I’M GOING TO BE BYELINGUAL I’M

and they were mouthing back sPEAK ENGLISH and i was like oK

and then it was my turn and i was shaking so so so hard ????

like i’m so so so bad in front of crowds i’ve shaken my way through every marketing presentation ever bc i hATE public speaking and now i have to go up in front of two angels?????

mirf and meggi were like THAT’S ASTROFIREWORKS and i didn’t realise until i checked the group chat after that zhixie said yAY KJDHSKSJAHKJA

and summer was like SHE FLEW IN FROM NEW YORK kjdshfkahdgjfhagjd

and zhixie was like wait do u speak chinese

and i blANKED OUT I WAS LIKE YES BUT FAM NO

but he only took the yes and was like ok thaNK GOD I DONT HAVE TO TRANSLATE

inside i was like fAM WHO THE HECKITY DO U THINK TRANSLATES YOUR VIDEOS I CAN DO IT FOR U KASJDHFLSKJDHKH but outside i was just ah yes :—)

and zhixie and honglin said something about english but my mind was blank all i could do was stare at honglin like

y’all

i know i said he was unreal but

up close

he’s literally ??? a whole angel like ????????????? his eyes sparkle so much when he laughs my heart STOPPED

and when they asked me to step closer i was like

actually i can translate for u i’m-

and zhixie was like NO THERE’S NO NEED like akdsfhkjkjdshJKASDHK OK

then honglin asked what theme i wanted and i was likE FAM IDK I’VE BEEN BLANKING THE ENTIRE TIME STARING AT YOU

so i was like okay i know u rly like one piece so something maybe one piece related

and he was like fam that’s difficult sadjkfhalsKJSDHLKJASD

but the moment i opened my mouth

zhixie: ARE YOU SINGAPOREAN OR MALAYSIAN

me: uh i’m singapor-

honglin: uwu i can hear it

me: about to die

zhixie (in english): ur accent !

and god yall my entire heart burst into flames like

i’ve said it before here but i’ve spent quite a bit of time being ashamed of my accent bc when i first got to america nobody could understand my singaporean accent and everyone kept asking me to repeat myself and eventually i was like ok u know what it’s better if i just shut up and not talk

and so the reason why i’m so so so proud of zhangjing (and jj) is bc there finally is ?? some south east asian representation and there are even people complimenting his accent and calling it cute and it ?? finally felt like i shouldn’t be embarrassed about the way i speak??

zhixie: when i heard you i was like eh? it’s almost like i heard you zhangjing

and i

Cried

and then zhixie turned to meggi and mirthe and were like yall come from beijing?

like fam what

and meggi was like no we come from belgium

zhixie: malaysian? you?

about ten people correcting him: belgium

zhixie, again: malaysian?

kajsdhflasjdkhfkj

and then zhixie said some other words but yall i was

just watching honglin

his hands are so so so so beautiful like his fingers are rly nice and

his nose ??? work of art

also his hands looked so soft like :—(

he was just bent over the cake and he :—( rly truly a goddamn angel

summer took photos of me that i’m never releasing ever sakdfhaksjdhfds i look so COMPLETELY WHIPPED FOR HIM LIKE

and at one point he started plucking cherries and one stalk fell on the floor and i was like o no so i went forward to pick it up and he

looked up

and said ‘oh it’s okay’ and smiled and

my heart stopped i think i left my soul on stage

O SHIT OKAY AND THEN ZHIXIE WALKED OVER AND WAS LIKE

CAN I ASK WHAT YOU’RE THINKING U LOOK LIKE YOU’RE LOSING UR MIND

AND I WAS LIKE FAM U DONT UNDERSTAND I A M

and i was like ‘idk i’m just ?? very shookt’

and zhixie was like what??? shy????

me: 很惊讶 (very shocked)

zhixie: shy? ? ??

me, thinking: fam this is how i feel when i translate yall captionless vlogs

zhixie (in eng): is this ur first time seeing honglin?

me: my first time seeing you also !!!!!

zhixie, suddenly shy: ah okay thank u

UWU!!!

and then honglin was done and looked up and i might have died inside again

AND HE WALKED OVER AND I WAS LIKE FAM NO DONT IF YOU COME CLOSER I’M LITERALLY GOING TO DI E??????

and he was like ‘oh this is zoro’

the sane part of me: oh wait ur favourite character is zoro???

bc liTERALLY TWO DAYS BEFORE HE POSTED ABOUT SANJI AND SO MY SISTER AND I WERE LIKE OH HE PROBS LIKES SANJI

BUT HE

LIKES ZORO

(my sister, afterwards: wtf i feel lied to)

but he was so heckin close to me like fam my heart

stopped

honglin: i hope u like it uwu

me: heck !

honglin: take one bite!

me: HECKITYHECK

zhixie (in eng): i wanna see ur facial expression

aND THEN THEY WERE BOTH LOOKGIN AT ME LIKE FUCABJS,BCD

FUCINADJCNSAKJDKJ

honglin: is it okay? ;;

me: FUCIJNSKCSADJ YES TAKE MY HEART TAKE MY SOUL

and i finally FINALLY FUNIAJKNSSK FINALLY GOT OFF THE GODDAMN STAGE

zhixie: WHERE’S HER APPLAUSE

anD EITHER RUOTIAN OR JINGZUO UPSTAIRS STARTED CLAPPING AGAINST THEIR MIC LIKE ASDFAHKSDHFAKSJD SHUT UP

 AND I WANTED TO DIE I WALKED ITNO A CARDBOARD CUTOUT RIGHT AFTER BC I WAS SO SHOOK

and honglin was like be careful! there’s a cardboard cutout right there! bc he’s a whoLE ANGEL

but also like GKASCKASHDHFAJDSHLFKJ PLS STOP LOOKIGN AT ME PLEAS E MY HEART IS WEAK I’M

my god

collapsed into summer’s arms right after thank god for summer !!!

okay then the next segment zhixie was like o yall know honglin’s position in the group is main vocal so next he can sing something for yall

honglin: actually i prepared an entire song for yall but music copyright means that i can’t sing it w a backing track

bc if he sings w a copyrighted backing track or if he sings more than half the song the livestream video would have to be taken down or something??

but it didn’t matter bc the moment he opened his mouth my entire heart STOPPED like

if he stabbed me in the stomach it would have hurt less his voice is so so sososos ososososososoosososo beautiful ????

and he sang without a backing track to like ????

i’m telling yall he’s a whole angel like he’s not real

and then honglin was like oh i also prepared another song but bc i now see there are overseas fans here i’m gonna sing an english song

and he sang when i was your man by bruno mars and when he hit the high note i think i ascended into the afterlife

about the 46 minute mark here i RLY AND TRULY RECOMMEND LISTENING TO IT SOBS HE SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT ANGEL HE IS

AND ZHIXIE HARMONISED AT THE BACK LIKE AHHHHH THAT’S MY BABE MAIN VOCAL TAGTEAM RIGHT THERE

and then zhixie asked if there was any other song we wanted and i was immediately like JJ!!

i’ve been ??? pleading for a jj cover forEVER ND HE

FINALLY PULLED THROUGH

honglin: i’m going to do Those Were The Days bc like the song says (那些你很冒险的梦 我陪你去疯 - all those adventurous dreams, i’ll chase them with you), i’ve been chasing my dream and yall have been here with me every step of the way

and i think the moment he said it i DIED like ???? jj is one of my favourite singers and nearly all my faves have covered his songs at least once, astro included???

and everyone who knows me knows i love jj like nini miss @tanqram​ has literally made a tangram singing jj compilation that i watch religiously ??? and this is one of my fave jj songs?????

and the moment he opened his mouth like ???? i KNOW i said that i died the last two times he sang but

firstly he sounds so much like jj?????

and secondly everything was ???? perfect??????

like i judge jj covers hard bc i’ve listened to the originals so many times everything is ingrained and the moment something is off i cringe but

yall

honglin’s perfect honglin is Actually Perfect

ALSO HE SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE JJ LIKE HE RLY WASN’T LYING IN HIS IP INTRODUCTION

and afterwards honglin was like lol jj said before that whenever he sings high notes he starts sweating and immediately jingzuo (???) was like TAKE OFF UR CLOTHES LKAJDHSFKASJDHFK

jingzuo chaotic good!!!

also i didn’t know until afterwards when the fantakens were out but ruotian was eating chicken wings and slurping noodles the whole time upstairs aksjdflhaksdjfhaksj why is didi line chaos

and then zhixie was like yall know what other things beibei is good at?

like fam he’s good at everything we rly can’t

also someone in the back was like he’S GREAT AT DOING THE SPLITS and honglin’S FACE AJSDFHKSJDHF

but it was languages and so zhixie was like we’re gonna make him say i love u in many different languages

and i could FEEL marta miss @honeyforzhixie​ going ????? isn’t that ur thing zhixie jsdgflasjdhf

and so they started discussing languages and zhixie was like o i know u can speak a little japanese bc i know u memorised the entire one piece theme song

and i SCREAMED INSIDE bc we literally juST TALKED ABOUT IT THAT MORNING WHEN WE VIDEO CALLED NINI nkfhakjsdhf we were like uwu we hope he sings a jj song but then we were like o lol what if he ended up singing the one piece theme song instead bc we bet he knew the whoLE THING AND HE DOES KNOW IT AJSDFHLAK

but then zhixie made honglin imitate maotong and say ‘i love u’ the way maotong would and my heart ached a little i miss my baby boy so much ??

but JINGZUO CHAOTIC GOOD JSDHLAKJ ‘could u imitate chaoze too’ jaskdlfhkjd

and so he did a couple different versions like Japanese (he and jingzuo screamed lines from one piece at each other ajdkhflksd) and korean (he took a line out of some korean drama?????)

and someone suggested french (was it mirf?????) and i lAUGHED rip his french vlog sorry honglin i swear i love u !!

and then they were like ok time to play his fan video

okay listen i have to preface this by saying that when i got the brief from the hyh she told me ‘it’s best if we make him cry!’ and i was like ok! sure!

turns out it made ME cry i stressed out over the video for two entire weeks sobs the moment my finals were over i locked myself into nyu’s computer lab until moving out day but still couldn’t finish it so i had to work on it on the plane ride home too sobs my roommate connie miss @ynajun​ saw the worst of it bc every time i came home from the lab i’d stress about it ???

but my god it was worth ??? everything ????

he ?????? cried??????

and like on one hand i’m happy that i managed to fulfil the brief but also i feel bad bc he cried but also mostly i laughed bc he’s such a sweet emotional bub

BUT ALSO BC HE CRIED MEGGI GOT TO OFFER HIM HER TISSUES!!!!!!!!

like we specially bought tissues before we left for banana bc we were like we’re gonna need them bc we’re gonna cry

BUT IT TURNS OUT HONGLIN NEEDED HTEM MORE AJSDKFHLASJDHFKAJ

zhixie: he cries every year during his birthday

zhixie: but also even when it’s not his birthday he cries he cried at my birthday too

and afterwards in chaoze’s birthday post he called honglin a crybaby too UWUWUWUWU

tangent but on his birthday when he came into the group chat he thanked us again for the video and i Died

okay this next part is purely speculation bc i honestly might just be overinflating myself and he might have done this purely coincidentally but when he thanked us for his video he looked at me and i ?????

when the video was playing nini and marta were yelling in the gc that they knew the video was done by me bc i overuse cc particle world on after effects jasdhlfksjdh but in that moment i briefly entertained the thought that he was familiar enough with my edits to know that the only idiot who keeps using cc particle world was me ??

but also as i said purely speculation and probably coincidence so

anyway you can watch it here 

and then they played the birthday video messages from fans and i think i died from embarrassment let’s Not talk about it

but also i only realised it after they pointed it out in the gc but apparently zhixie and honglin were both singing along to the jj backing track i added to my video ajsdfhlaksjd

my god another tangent but on his birthday when he came into the group chat we were talking about the videos we recorded

and hh (one of honglin’s og fans she’s a whole angel too I love her !!!!) was like my gOD i rly am so unphotogenic (when she filmed her video she put a ‘FAT’ over her face sobs but like mood) and i was like yah same lol i had to record myself like ten times in times square bc i looked so bad in all the takes

and honglin was like HH WHY DID U CENSOR UR FACE UR CLEARLY SO CUTE and we collectively died for her uwu !!!!

then honglin rePLIED ME SAYING ‘OH BUT TIMES SQUARE HAS SUCH A GOOD VIBE’ and i died for the nth time ??? and then he followed up by saying ‘i rly want to go to times square i’ve gone to america a lot of times when i was younger but i’ve only ever been to the west coast’ jksadhlfkjshekj pls come i’ll bring u around east coast best coast

but back to the point he was like ‘i’ve said it before during ip (and he did!!! during the fanfan episode where he was talking to the rubbish bin he rly has said it before!!!!) but i rly try my best to remember every single person’s face and all my fan’s weibo IDs’ and my heART MELTED HE

and then it was his ending ment!!

he said something that rly threw my heart off a cliff he said that he’s so grateful for the hyh and fans for listening to him and donating to charities in his name instead of buying him extravagant gifts bc when he makes it big, if he makes it big, the thing he wants to do the most is to donate to children who come from a less privileged family background bc he knows what it’s like coming from a single parent family and ;n;

then they showed wishes from other idols!!!!!

there was wang ziyi, zhou rui, the twins my ip hEART

LISTEN I ??? when zuo qibo showed up my SWIN HEART EXPLODED I ??? MISS ??? MY SWIN ANGELS ????

AND THEN RUIBIN SHOWED UP IN ALL HIS UNKEMPT AND UNSHAVEN AND RAMBLING GLORY AND MY PRINCERUIBIN HEART WEPT I THINK I HELD SUMMER’S ARM SO HARD SHE GOT BRUISES AJKSDHFKSJD I’M SO SORRY SUMMER I LOVE U

and then cHAOZE APPEARED !!!! and everyone immediately melted he’s the softest leader alive i love my baby!!

and honglin was about to say something but ruOTIAN

ruotian showed up w a cake w sparklers???????? like fam???????

and eventually we had to say goodbye :—(

but honglin was like o i rly and truly thought that there would be lesser people at this birthday than there was last year and my heart ??? broke ????

bc the room they were in last year alr was so small and there were rly little roses but he ??? genuinely thought he had so little fans that he wouldn’t even fill up the room ;;;;;;;; bc there rly are v little active roses both on weibo like there are less than ten of us who actively post in his chaohua and at tgm events like they’re mostly lrt/jjz fans and there’s usually only one rose ;;;;

but listen honglin our entire gc would die for you we will never stop loving u until every last one of us is found dead in a ditch

and then we’ll love u into the next life

also after he said goodbye he was like sike!

he kept singing behind the cardboard cutouts and peeking around them to say hi again

at some point I poked my head over and went PLS COME TO NEW YORK and he said something back that I alas couldn’t hear rip

and then he started singing along to jj again sobs

but eventually at some point they left via the back door and I was like GOTTA GO THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I’VE BEEN TRAINING FOR sobs going to the airport for yanjun and wenjun and jeffrey and ziyi and kunkun rly was to prepare me for one thing and one thing only and it was to practise getting good non-shaky fantakens without dying???

jingzuo rly truly looked AMAZING he rly rocks the white tee blue jeans and converse look jingzuo stans stay winning!!!

and honglin ;;;;;;; was holding my banner ;;;;;;;;

and he looked directly into my camera a couple times sobs and he shot hearts too I rly ???? Editing the photos made me cry so many times fbdjhfjf every time I got to those photos I lose my mind

ALSO ONLY AFTER EDITING THE PHOTOS I REALISED RUOTIAN WAS JUDGING ME SO HARD GHDJFJ my eyes were glued to honglin the entire time but looking at the photos again ruotian looked so unamused fhcjfhfbfhbf

speaking of ruotian my gOD editing photos with him in it is a nightmare y’all he’s either blinking or looks like he’s about to sneeze in nearly every picture fhdjfjfj summer and I generally make it a rule not to blur other members’ faces out of our fantakens but ruOTIAN RLY TESTING ME

but we made it to the banana lobby and I didn’t want to follow them and their fansites in so I stopped walking and honglin turned back to wave at me ;;;;;;;;;;;;;; and i think i died again

and so I went back to the event space where summer and mirthe and meggi were waiting and sat down and blanked out sobs

but it diDNT END THERE FHDJFJJF FOR SOME REASON HONGLIN DECIDED TO WALK OUT AGAIN A BIT AFTER

so mirthe and I were like omg gotta blAST so we speedwalked over

and he :—-( saw and shot signs at my camera again fhdjfjfjjf I ???

and then it was Actually Over god I was a shell of a person after that

still am tbh I’m not sure how I survived sorting through our 2000+ fantakens fhdjfjfj

but I’m so spoiled y’all I’m really truly so spoiled by him :—(

like I said earlier he rly spoils his fans so much????

that night he posted on Instagram and immediately summer and meggi and mirthe and I commented and he replied all four of us ;n;

earlier on in spring semester there was a third party event that Tangram was invited to but the organiser was a MESS and tgm wasn’t treated very well??? but honglin was worried that the fans who travelled to the event and didn’t get to see them were upset so he came into the group chat to console them ;;;;;

and I was talking to another fan and she said that even during other events he kept turning around to wave at the fans and acknowledge them and it’s ;;;;;; as someone who has ?? waited in the rain / stood for hours waiting for idols something as simple as a nod or a smile rly warms u up and makes the wind and cold worth it ;;;; and he makes sure to do it all the time ;;;;;;;;;

on his birthday !! his birthday !! when he was in Taiwan and should be resting and enjoying time w his mum and not thinking about us !!!! he still came into the group chat for an hour and talked to us ;;;;;;

and he named all his sort of more well known fans’ IDs, even the ones who weren’t online and sending messages at the time ;;;;; like he rly wasn’t lying when he said he remembers us ;;;;

also fhdjfjfjjf god I’m so spoiled he replied me so many times ?? like there was the times sq thing and the east coast thing ???

and when he said he was training for the next archery competition I was like “o are u shooting recurve or compound this time?” and he was like “o idk if I shot recurve or compound but it’s the one I shot the last time” and I fhdjfjfjfhfb

tangential but 1) my god y’all his form is beautiful my archery heart: exploded

2) his rhotics are so beautiful too my phonology heart: also exploded

also when he was about to leave the gc I was like “huh but u just got here, why are you leaving?” and he sent another voice message “astrofireworks, why are you becoming shameless too, when did I just get here, I’ve clearly been here for a long time already” fhdjfjdjfn fhdjjd

also my GOD He was reading some IDs and summer and lyla were like what about @astrofireworks and I was like fchjfbhjdf y’all it’s ok he’s alr said it in another voice message two months ago in the gc I’m alr so spoiled I ???? rly shouldn’t ask anything else of him or he’s going to hate me

but then he

sent

a whole

nine second message

“hey astrofireworks, I hope one day I can go to New York and maybe... I’ll meet you there, okay?”

and I ??,?? Sobbed

ndjdbfjvcchhxhdhfh

and then Connie went to send him off at the airport in Taiwan the next day and ????? 

I’m not gonna say much because it’s rly conno’s story to tell and I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to say outside the gc but he rly spoils his fans so so so so much ????

anyway bei honglin rly and truly is the sweetest boy on earth we rly don’t deserve him ;;;;; this first week of June truly has been the best week of my cpop stan life and i ????? love mister bei honglin with my entire heart and soul ;;;;;;;;;;;;

[thirstykpopstans-blog]

NCT Dream + Yuta Reaction to their crush giving them a massage

Request: 

 a/n: oh my gosh im really sorry we kept this in our inbox months and all the other requests. we had to deal with a lot of school works these past few months and just didnt really have any time to open tumblr but we’re on vacation now so you can send us a request !! 

-amy

Mark:

-mark our very busy boi u probably saw him limping his way back to his room so u offered to massage him

-he’d want to say no bc hes shy but he badly needs it so he said yes :c

-would suddenly laugh in the middle of his massage bc it tickles him

-would also accidentally kick you

-he’d feel so bad about it so he’ d ask you to go get ice cream with him or something

“do you want to go get ice cream with me or something>”

“wow i am so smooth”- Mark Lee, probabLEE (im sorry i had to)

Renjun:

-you’d probably notice that hes rly stressed when u brought lunch for everyone to their dance practice and he looked cranky

-the members would be begging u to do something for him bc they know 👀

-you wouldnt actually know what to do for him until u saw him massaging his own shoulders

-once you offered him a massage he’d turn into a soft puddle on the inside bc duh “i like u and it’s a secret” 

-but you’ll notice that his expression finally softens

-would probably start to joke around you and the dreamies

-also, you offering to massage him just gave him more confidence to talk to you so expect some more unsolicited but nice gestures like walking you home

Jeno:

-okay so i think this lil shit is actually the smoothest among the members??? i mean have you seen that video where he just casually slipped in na jaemin saranghae

-i mean i think hes the smooth guy that goes into panic when someone actually rides along

-anyway

-he’d be all eye smiles ヾ（＾ヮ＾)ﾉ once you offered to massage his hand because this dork was so tired that he forgot to remove his hand by the doorway before closing it

-okay so jeno would casually wrap his hand around yours after you massaged him and would do that cheeky smile in the gif

-ofc you’d be taken aback but you just perceived this as jeno playfully teasing so you decided to ride along 

-so you laced your fingers with his

-bless this boy whose mind suddenly went into panic mode and suddenly jerks as if he were being electrocuted 

Donghyuck:

-he tries to make it obvious that he has a crush on you but you paid no mind to it bc hes always been teasing you

-so one time when he asked you to massage him you just simply nodded

-it would probably frustrate donghyuck bc he wants you to see it as his way of getting close to you but yOU JUST SILENTLY OBLIGED AND NOT EVEN TALKED TO HIM

-but he really cant complain bc the massage was great as heck and he knows that you’ll be at each other’s throats when he opens his mouth

-anyway after this, he’d probably tone down the teasing but expect him to ask you for more massages because hey, stop being dense and nOTICE HIM

Jaemin:

-my lil sunshine baby who’s finally back happy and healthy i luv u so much

- so you two would be talking in the dorms about stuff the night after their promotions and it really made jaemin exhausted

- but he’s okay !! because he gets to talk to you

- you’d probably be ranting about how he should rest and this made him so soft

- he’d jokingly ask you to massage him and he’d turn o.O when you said yes and proceeded to make him lie down on ur lap to massage his head

- he’d be so nervous about it but will try to keep his cool

- once he’s recovered he’d try pinching ur cheeks or bump his forehead unto yours when your face gets close to him

Chenle:

- i think chenle would be the chillest among the dreamies when their crush massages them

-like yes he’d be blushing and all but thats just because he’s really happy

-one touch from u and all of his worries go away kind of thing 

-he’d also be more talkative and giggly

-most likely to offer u a massage too !!

Jisung:

-awkward poor bean would ask you why would you want to massage him

-and of course after hearing this you’d think that he doesnt want a massage and you’ll go “oh okay”

-but this boy was just v surprised that his crush just offered him a massage  

“no i mean it’s okay. mybackhurtsthanksaslkdjshfjfj”

-would be very stiff once u massage him

-tbh would get more tired after the massage bc he was a nervous wreck but still vv happy 

Yuta:

-would turn into such a flirty lil shit when you asked him if he wants a massage

“no one can resist the charms of nakamoto yuta  (･ω<)☆” -yuta, probably

-you’d probably have to press little hard on his sore muscle to make him stop

-would also jokingly tell you not to ogle his beautifully sculpted body 

-in which you just have to press a sore muscle to shut him up

-massaging him just opened the gateway to Nakamoto Yuta’s Winwin Level of Affection for You so goodluck 

[parkkate]

Hey!!! I reallyyyy love your writing it's so cute and I just really like it!!❤️I was wondering if you could write one where dracos rly eccentric/weird and he's really funny to be around but everyone's like ://?? But harry finds it rly cute!!! Thankssss xxx

Thank you so much, sweetie!! ❤️️ Maybe you already forgot you sent me that ask because it took me sooooo looooong to answer it lol. I’m not sure if this is what you had in mind but maybe you’ll still like it? Anyway, thank you so much for sending me that prompt :) I had loads of fun with it :) ❤️️

“No, no, not this one!”

Harry watched as his flatmate rushed over to the kitchen cabinet and wrenched the mug Blaise was holding out of his hands.

“What’s wrong with this one?” Blaise asked, raising an eyebrow. Draco bit his lip, while cradling the mug like it was his most prized possession.

“You just can’t use this one, okay?” he snapped. “What if you break it?”

Harry silently sipped his tea as the two Slytherins in his kitchen started bickering.”No, not that one either!” It wasn’t exactly unusual behaviour. And Harry was used to it by now. He and Draco had been flatmates for over a year and Draco always seemed a bit touchy about his things. Curiously enough, he never snapped at Harry about it. Only at his friends. And Harry’s friends.

“You’re being a brat, Draco,” Blaise muttered. “I just want some tea but apparently that is too much to ask.”

“Here, you can take this one,” Draco announced, pointing to the only mug left in the cabinet. “I don’t care much for that one anyway.”

“Hey! I gave you that one!” Pansy entered the kitchen with a scowl on her face. Draco just shrugged, flicked his wand once to set the kettle on the stove and to send the mugs flying back into the cabinet.

“You’re spoiling him,” Blaise said to Harry, sitting down at the table opposite of him.

“What? What do I have to do with any of this?” Harry protested.

“You’re spoiling him,” Blaise repeated. “You’re allowing this… this behaviour.”

“Allowing?” Harry echoed. “Excuse me, but what exactly do you think we are doing here? We’re just flatmates. I’m not the boss of him.”

“He most certainly isn’t,” Draco chimed in, plopping down on the chair next to Harry.

“Right,” Pansy snorted. “Say, Potter, have you fought with Draco since you moved in together? I mean a real, full-on fight .”

Harry thought about it for a second, an obvious ‘Yes’ on the tip of his tongue. But the more he thought about it, the more he realised they hadn’t had a big fight at all. Sure, they had argued about a few things here and there but it had been nothing like their fights in school.

Pansy seemed to take Harry’s silence as the answer she had been expecting and smirked.

“See? You have Draco wrapped around your little finger,” she said in a sing-song voice.

“Pansy, will you shut up?” Draco growled. “That is preposterous.”

“Oh, is it?” Blaise grinned.

Draco ignored him and went over to the stove to prepare their tea. While the blond was out of earshot, Blaise leaned closer to Harry.

“You really shouldn’t encourage his OCD.”

“OCD?” Harry’s eyes widened.

“Obsessive-compulsive-”

“I know what it means,” Harry interrupted Pansy. “Draco doesn’t have OCD.”

Pansy and Blaise exchanged meaningful looks before turning their attention back to Harry.

“You can’t deny he’s totally obsessed with you,” Pansy smirked.

“And you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed how he freaks out whenever something isn’t in the place he’s intended it to,” Blaise remarked.

Harry frowned, not sure he had noticed.

“You really are thick, Potter,” Blaise sighed. He looked around the room until he spotted something on the shelf. With one nod of his head, the clock he had fixed his eyes on flew across the room and landed on one of the windowsills. Grinning to himself, Blaise leaned back in his seat and winked at Harry.

“Now just wait and observe.”

“He’s not going to freak out,” Harry insisted.

He watched Draco closely as he returned to the table, levitating three mugs in front of him. When Blaise made a grab for the dark red one, Draco slapped his hand away.

“I told you, not that one. That’s mine.”

Blaise rolled his eyes and took the white one, hovering beside his head.

“What’s so special about the red one?” he muttered darkly.

“I bought that a month after we moved here. It makes me think of Ha-” Draco stopped abruptly, his body going rigid. “Um… Halloween! It makes me think of Halloween!”

Blaise and Pansy started snickering, elbowing each other. Harry wasn’t sure what was going on.

“Yeah, of course it would have such a special meaning to you, if it reminds you of Ha-lloween,” Blaise said teasingly.

Draco quickly looked away, wrinkling his eyebrows.

“Shut up, Blaise, you- Hey! What is the clock doing on the windowsill? That’s not where it’s supposed to be!” He whirled around in his seat. “Which one of you two did it?” he said, zeroing in on his Slytherin friends.

“What makes you think we did it?” Pansy said, her tone as sweet as sugar.

“Harry would never do something like that,” Draco announced decisively. Harry blinked at that.

“Never mind who did it,” Blaise said with a dismissive gesture. “The question is, can you leave it there? I bet you can’t.”

Draco bit his lip. Harry saw that his right hand was twitching. He obviously didn’t want to leave it there but he probably wanted to prove to Blaise that he was wrong.

“Come on, stop being so childish,” Harry murmured to Blaise and levitated the clock back to its original place on the shelf. Draco let out a little sigh of relief and gave Harry a grateful look.

“See, Blaise, this is why he’s my flatmate, not you,” Draco snapped.

“Sure, that’s the only reason,” Blaise snorted. His eyes wandered over to Harry, scrutinising him. “I really have no idea how you put up with him.”

Harry barked out a laugh and shook his head.

“He’s a great flatmate. It’s always clean, I never have to worry about the fridge being empty, he always makes sure I have my favourite tea… One time, he yelled at a salesperson because they didn’t have it in stock.” Harry chuckled to himself while Draco slid down in his seat, looking slightly embarrassed. “I thought it was rather sweet. I mean, sure he has a few quirks. He always insists I use the blanket he got for me when I’m on the sofa, although we have, like, five. But I don’t mind. It’s a nice blanket. It has little Snitches on it. Sometimes he massages my shoulders, but he never lets me reciprocate. I keep telling him I’m not as clumsy as I was in school but I guess he doesn’t believe me.”

Harry was so lost in thought, he didn’t notice the raised eyebrows, the looks the Slytherins were giving him or the way Draco had turned beet red.

“Oh, and I have to be at home on Thursdays by seven o’clock, because he cooks dinner and doesn’t like it when I’m late. But, I mean, the one time I was late was only because there were so many people in the pastry shop when I wanted to pick up these little cupcakes Draco likes so much.” When Harry’s words were only met with silence, he finally looked up and realised he had been babbling. “Oh, I’m sorry, Draco, I didn’t mean to-”

“So,” Pansy said, drumming her perfectly manicured fingers on the table. “How long have you two been secretly dating? And why didn’t you tell us?”  

Harry’s mouth fell open as he gaped at Pansy.

“What?” he spluttered.

“We’re not dating,” Draco muttered darkly. “If we were dating, we would be kissing and… stuff.”

This time, Harry didn’t miss the undertone in Draco’s voice, although he wasn’t exactly sure how to interpret it.

“Do you want us to kiss and… stuff?”

The kitchen went completely silent as three pairs of eyes fixed on Draco, who kept staring at the mug in his hands.

“I… um… Well, I guess I wouldn’t be completely… Um, that is to say, I-”

“Hold on, is that why you wouldn’t come out of your room for a week, after I told you about that date I had with a Muggle a few months ago?”

Draco didn’t answer but kept staring at his mug.

“Oh, is that why you haven’t been dating at all while we have been living together?” Harry thought about other signs there might have been that hadn’t seemed strange at the time. Wait, there was one thing that had seemed very strange. “Oh my God, is that why all the towels seem to magically disappear from time to time when I come out of the shower?”

Draco let his head fall back and made a strangled noise, while Blaise and Pansy keeled over with laughter.

Harry ignored them and got out of his seat, never taking his eyes off Draco. He pulled the Slytherin into a standing position in front of him and gently cupped his cheek.

“Won’t you look at me?” Harry whispered. Draco’s eyes darted up to his, glimmering with apprehension. Harry stepped closer until their chests were touching, placing his other hand on Draco’s hip. “I guess we kind of have been dating for a while, haven’t we? I just didn’t realise.”

Draco shivered under Harry’s touch and tentatively brought his hands up to Harry’s shoulders.

“You never were the most observant type,” he murmured, his eyes flickering over Harry’s face. A smile tugged on the corner of Harry’s mouth as he leaned forward. He unconsciously held his breath as he let his lips brush over Draco’s, savouring the warmth and the silky feeling of his mouth. He barely noticed the loud cheers and wolf-whistles behind him.

“Hmmm, I guess I finally understand your obsession with lip balm,” Harry breathed amusedly. He stroked Draco’s cheek with his thumb and brought their foreheads together, suddenly feeling really dizzy.

“You know, I have an obsession with really, really soft and comfortable beds as well,” Draco said, wiggling his eyebrows and leaning in to kiss Harry once more.

When they broke apart several minutes later, Harry’s heart skipped a beat and he was sure he had never seen anything more beautiful. The way Draco was looking at him almost made him topple over. This was how he wanted Draco to look at him from now on, with the biggest smile on his face Harry had ever seen.    

[blinder-s]

Rose Garden / Part Two

YO SO I HOPE U ALL LIKED THE FIRST PART BC THERES MORE COMING :-) (so i mean it sucks if u didnt)

thank u for liking it !!!! it rly means a lot life is shite nd this is what makes me feel happy so I’m gna do it more lol HOPE U ENJOY - evie XX

words: 1,302

warnings: none!

gif creds to the owner! :))))

The next couple of weeks in the library were fairly mundane and boring. You spent most of the time with Helen, gossiping about whoever she had a crush on that week and how she hated men and so on and so on. Your boss had returned the following day, so you hadn’t been expected to go and collect any fines, which was a shame since it was slightly more interesting than stacking or issuing books.

“Emillie?” You heard your boss shout from the front desk, as you and Helen were hidden behind the religion section giggling like schoolgirls, “could you come and help me please?” 

You rolled your eyes to your ginger-haired friend, who stuck her tongue out at you, before heading over to the checkout desk, where your elderly boss was drowning in customers. You hadn’t even noticed how many people were in the library, though you and Helen were sharing your sexual exploits behind the Bible.

You took your space next to Tim, your boss, and began issuing books out to customers, “name please?” You called out, not bothering to move your head up to the man in front of you. It had become a habit, but you were far too tired to smile for five hours on end.

“Alfred Solomons,” he replied, a familiar voice grumbled above you. You took his card, and looked up and the boasting figure stood before you, “nice to see you again, Emillie.”

“You too, Mr Solomons,” you said, stamping the due date in his book. One you had never expected to see a man of his characteristics read; Pride and Prejudice. You looked up at the man, an eyebrow raised.

Alfie noticed your gaze and coughed slightly, embarrassed, “I thought I’d start with the classics.” He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, trying to cover his flushed cheeks.

“It’s my favourite,” you said honestly, biting your lip to stop the smile from breaking out on your face. His mouth broke out into the widest smile you’d ever seen on a man in your life, as you looked at him through your lashes. You continued to stamp the return date of the book on the front; a weeks time.

“I’ll let you know how I get on, Emillie,” he picked up the book carefully and tucked it into the inside pocket of his jacket, careful not to tear any pages.You grinned as you watched him leave, even thinking that his back looked attractive. 

You were quickly snapped out of your thoughts as Helen came waltzing past, a knowing grin plastered on her face. “Who was he?” She asked, cocking her left eyebrow and leaning one elbow on the wooden desk. Helen’s poker face stayed stationary until you lost the unofficial game of chicken.

You sighed, feeling heat rise to your cheeks, “he’s the owner of a bakery in town.”

“And?” She pressed, her green eyes sweeping over your uncomfortable demeanour. Tim, an elderly man of over eighty, just looked at you back and forth before rolling his eyes and dismissing you both to stacking books in the far corner of the building.

You busied yourself, hoping Helen had forgotten about how you were sat staring at the back of a man you barely knew. But her face popping up in between two cookery books told you that she hadn’t.“I met him when I went to go and collect a fine last week, remember?” You explained, placing a book next to where her head was resting on the shelf. She coughed, expecting you to continue. “There’s nothing else to say, Helen.” She looked at you, an unimpressed smirk displayed on her face, and you groaned, “Helen! I’ve only met the man twice!”

“Do you like him?” She pressed, urging you to spill your inner most thoughts- something you weren’t all that comfortable doing.

“I hardly know him!” You marvelled, cautious about keeping the volume down. You especially didn’t need Tim on your back, not with Helen already doing your head in, 

“Yes, but do you fancy him?” Helen nagged, wandering to shelve a book away in the non-fiction section.

“I think he’s quite attractive,” conceding, you shook your head at your best friend’s triumphant face, “but don’t say anything! I barely know the man, Helen. Plus, I doubt he’d be interested in me, he’s at least ten years older than me.”

“Who knows? He could be your Mr Darcy,” she laughed, a knowing glint in her eyes. You rolled your eyes so hard you thought they might fall out of your head, but continued to do your work, leaving her to bask in this new found information.

Your shift ended at five, an hour before the library shut for the public. As you left, a smell of coffee was brought to your attention, making your stomach grumble with hunger. It was coming from the little patisserie across from the green grocers, a small walk away.

Deciding to follow your nose (and stomach), you ended up in the shop, ordering  a cup of coffee and a piece of Victoria sandwich. The evening was cool; a breeze nipping at your shoulders and dancing around the ringlets of your hair, but still warm enough to sit outside.

Half way through your drink, a man sat opposite you; George Wicker.

“Oh, hello,” you said, putting your drink down and looking up at the man who you’d been all through school with. Despite being very attractive, you could never think of George as anything but the boy who pushed you over in the mud when you were seven years old, “can I do anything for you?” 

He smiled, looking deeply into your eyes. You blushed without meaning to, but the intensive stare just kept your cheeks growing redder and redder- until you resembled the same colour as a tomato. 

“How about accompanying me to the pictures tonight?” He proposed, a hand going to touch your thigh under the table. You flinched, nearly knocking over your drink.

“Oh, no thank you George. I already have plans; I think Helen is free tomorrow, though,” you said, moving his hand off of your leg, and continuing to eat your cake in peace.

“Go on, Em,” he moved his hand back, tracing lines up and down on your bare skin, “it’ll be fun- plus I don’t like Helen. She’s far too eager.”

Your conversation continued for a while, neither of you giving up. It was only when George’s hand travelled further up your leg did you feel extremely uncomfortable, and end up knocking your steaming hot drink onto his hand. It was an accident, but you still thanked your lucky stars and whoever was looking out for you.

Needless to say, George left rather quickly, and you were able to get away without a date. There was no way in hell you’d ever date that boy- his reputation was a bit too much for handle, and considering you thought of him as a weird little boy who made friends with ants, it wasn’t likely to happen.

You made your way back to your place, the streets darkening and goosebumps appearing on your skin. It wasn’t a far walk, but you still felt tired as anything when you finally arrived at your door. Your neighbours were in, the glare from the lights peeping through their net curtains. You could hear the couple squabbling about something; probably the same thing they’d squabble about every single night since you’d moved in. 

Sighing, you unlocked the door, immediately going straight to your bedroom. It wasn’t that late; but suddenly you felt your eyes becoming droopy and struggled to keep them awake. Maybe it was George causing you stress; or maybe it was your body telling you to dream about Alfie.

Either way, you knew men were the problem.

[svtn-imagines-blog]

performance unit when you’re on your period

requested by anon “hi, can I request a scenario as to how the performance unit would react when you're on your period? I saw the hip hop unit version and it's so cute !! thank you :)”

this is honestly SO LATE i’m sorry!

jun:

y’all would have planned a swimming/beach date in advance but u’re bleeding

so u texted him the day before and u know he’s gonna be disappointed so u kept apologising

but he’s like “why’re u so sorry abt it?? it’s not like u can control this kind of things”

and on the day where y’all were supposed to meet he surprised u w food

((if u’re into sweet stuff he’ll also get lots of them))

u peppering him w kisses on his cheek but he’s like “i think i deserve better”

he puckers his lips w his eyes closed trying to get u to kiss him

but u’re all playful and use the back of ur hand to replace ur lips

he’ll start whining but follow u closely like a lost puppy

“can’t u just kiss me once?” w those puppy eyes

clingy jun

he’ll try to tickle u but u’re like “STOP IT JUN DON’T FORGET I’M BLEEDING”

then he throws his hands in the air in defeat

but he still has those puppy eyes and sad face

ahh so cute omg

after lunch the both of u would just be hanging around the couch watching shows

and u’d return him the surprise by sneaking a kiss on his lips

he’s caught of guard like ??!!?

blushing jun

hoshi:

u bring food over while he’s having dance practice

and during lunch he’s stuffing food into his mouth like a hamster

(as usual but u weren’t complaining)

u don’t have much appetite and u feel bloated so u’re just watching him eat

“why aren’t u eating?”

and after finding out u’re having ur period hoshi’s like “why did u come?? u should be resting at home”

u’ll be reassuring him that u’re fine but he’ll feel bad bc he’s the reason why u’re out

“soonyoung, i really am fine, hurry eat”

he’ll gobble down his food rly fast just to spend more time w u

that includes holding u in his embrace

telling u about absolutely anything

u love listening and watching him talk (esp abt things he like) bc u can see passion in his eyes

and how he’d get rly hyped

u have nowhere to go after lunch and he asked if u could stay and watch him

in which u agreed bc why not

he’ll leave slightly early bc he doesn’t want u waiting for long

esp when u’re bleeding

he’ll spoil u w ur fav food and wtv u wanna do

the8:

u wouldn’t have told him in the first place

but he notices that u keep going to the toilet so he asks

when u tell him about it he prob wouldn’t react much but he’ll become quite clingy??

and he may baby u subtly

like he wouldn’t even know this change of behaviour until u point it out

“why’re u extra nice today?”

and he’s like “i’m nice every day??”

imagine having a puppy w him

when y’all are just hanging out and playing the puppy gets excited and tries to jump all around u

precious minghao will fluster and try to hold on to the puppy

“don’t disturb mommy, she’s sick”

“i’m not sick, minghao”

“it’s ok the puppy won’t understand that”

and u’re judging him so hard

movie time

u’ll be more touchy than usual

like leaning ur head on his shoulder, playing w with his hands, or clinging onto his arm like a koala

he secretly likes it and thinks u’re the cutest whenever u do that

chan:

i keep picturing him as an innocent child just bc he’s the maknae but that boy is alr 19

extra caring

wouldn’t say no to what u want

“u don’t have to say yes to everything u know, it’s not like my heart is bleeding”

and he just smiles and goes along w everything u say just bc

ice cream dates like the usual

until he realises u shouldn’t be eating cold stuff

“its ok i’m alright”

“are u sure”

and he watches w concern while u eat

u have to question why he keeps doing that and he says in case u get a tummy ache

“tummy ache LOL u mean cramps”

and when ur cramps start working up he’s all guilty

“omg i shouldn’t have brought u to eat it’s my fault that u’re hurting”

honestly u want to just hug the shit outta him bc he’s so cute and innocent???

“its not ur fault chan, it happens, STOP BLAMING URSELF”

and maybe u have to kiss him to shut him up

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them ) 

hllo this is my second child i think theyre p grand n i love them a lot. as always pls like if u’d like to plot i’d lov to interact with everybody

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

mbti & temperament: esfp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: homosexual.

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances. 

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay! 

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years. 

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe. 

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost. 

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc. 

[disparais]

which doth mock the meat it feeds on

i think what bothers me most is that she terminated our interaction when i was concerned about her bc i could hear her retching from my room even when i was plugged into earphones and all

yet she went out and went to check on g and allowed g into her space for the rest of the morning ????????? i can’t omg i just closed my windows fairly quietly because i could hear their voices what even

part of the reason why i am so upset is because i feel like i clearly care more and am more attentive so i feel slightly more entitled ?? that is selfish and unhealthy i’m supposed to be loving without imposition/expectation why is my obsessiveness with proportionate reciprocity in terms of social standing coming out now? i used to be able to live just fine ok not really i agonized about this for days but that’s another story when i knew i’d lose to t in a heartbeat

maybe it’s a case of how do i get better once i’ve had the best // comparisons are easily done once you’ve had a taste of perfection.

my heart hurts scorpio GO AWAY please, just let me be

she picked up on it which is a relief because i really wasn’t ever going to bring it up. i suck la i talked about honesty and everything but i just can’t do something this selfish, not when she’s on the cusp of working everything out with g

i feel sincerely torn between wanting to be honest with her (because although it took some prompting, she has been honest with me), and wanting her to believe that everything will be ok (this is borderline insulting though i don’t think she’s anywhere close to blind enough to notice that i’m starting to benchmark too)

she texted g first about her going to the wrong place and everything and it kills me la i can’t like she texted me afterwards and of course the isfj in me leapt to say everything i could say in my limited capacity to smooth things over  and encourage her?? of course i was thoroughly sincere - my words are not lightly given. but i think i did a good job of hiding the fact that i knew she’d told g first. doesn’t change the fact that my heart twinged because the instinctual comparison/benchmarking took over.

alright new update so they ended up talking which is great i think it was a mercy from God since i was out at cf and distracted and all so i did have tachycardia for more than half of cf but i was also intrigued by good sharing and good company so at least that was really good! and can rly feel the love from everyone in cf like people who genuinely cared about what was going on in citizenship and bothering to speak to me and everything that was the one high point of today i’m sooo glad i went (let’s not go into matters regarding j today even i’m done talking about him but at least he sweet la wanted to meet me before he left (which i disapprove of but whatevs)).

ya the talk was bad enough cos logical!isa was v happy for them and emotional!isa was like sobssss me is not special anymore

wah my brain rly degenerated la all my thoughts are damn unfiltered what even

yeah and THE ULTIMATE SALT IN MY WOUND WAS G SENDING ME THEIR PIC WHERE SHE WAS HOLDING the panda. MY panda. what the fuck even. i could have gone ten lifetimes without seeing that pic and if when it’s immortalized on one of their instas holy shit i think i’ll fall apart for another day.

this benchmarking thing is rly bs la i feel like i didn’t treat it as seriously last sem as i did this sem? like now that we’ve started talking about it i realize that while it’s nice to be able to process, it’s terrible because it makes everything that much realer. last sem i didn’t benchmark her with g because i just retreated and shut myself away in my room and told myself i didn’t always need to be there, but this sem since we’re talking about it’s like an i know, she knows kinda thing which is freaking awkward because now if we have g in our rooms/doing stuff for us then we’re always aware of the other person feeling upset/left out and then damage control is required

maybe we are careening towards a 3-way talk on this benchmarking bs but it’s kind of useless at the same time since it’s just me and kt doing the benchmarking. not nice that g is being kept in the dark about all the emotional turmoil surrounding this though

really damn painful can’t believe my heart has been in a constant state of arrhythmia/quietly aching for the entire day this needs to stop la i feel my heart in my mouth, in my throat, in the depths of my stomach

this is so STUPID why why why can’t i just be happy being close to her in quiet moments and at night???? why do i care so damn much about things that shouldn’t matter