#which was an hour after i had taken midol

[anadorablekiwi]

The only thing stopping me from going home and hour early tonight is that i would have to call the acting producer manager and talk to a grocery manager at my store

[steviescrystals]

its 5am and i can’t sleep and i have to ramble about something (a few somethings actually) bc i cannot stop thinking about it!! this is really just for me to get my thoughts out bc they’re driving me crazy, but on the off chance anyone reads this, prepare yourself: it’s about to be a very long post.

i have so many chronic issues — both physical and mental — that i’m just used to dealing with at this point, and i’m only just recently realizing how not normal they are?? the main thing that’s driving me insane lately is just my overall physical well being, like it’s just so… not good lmao. i’m extremely anemic, so i’m basically exhausted and lightheaded and dizzy and nauseous pretty much all of the time which is just awesome for me, and it’s been even worse than normal the past few months bc i have a ton of food issues that just keep getting worse (caused by a super fun combination of depression, disordered eating, constantly being sick, and just general stomach issues). my diet is really just all over the place and definitely not as nutritious as it needs to be, which as you can imagine does not help all the health issues i already have! on top of all that, i was finally diagnosed with adhd earlier this year after spending forever 1) constantly learning that a lot of things i had always thought were just “me things” were actually symptoms 2) being told by so many people around me WITH ADHD that i seemed like i had it, and 3) outright asking various psychiatrists and doctors to test me for it. because of the shortage on adhd medication, i only recently was able to get a prescription, and (this is where the relation to food comes in) literally no one — not my doctor, not the psychiatrist who prescribed it, not the pharmacist — thought to tell me that the medication i’m on lowers your appetite?? i only found out bc my mom, who’s a nurse, mentioned it one day and was shocked that i didn’t already know that was a side effect. so that sucks because i need the medication, but i also need to be eating a lot more than i currently am (especially because i’m also taking iron supplements for my anemia, and if you don’t eat enough while taking them, they make you sick). so! that’s all great for me!

i’ve also had chronic headaches since i was 11 years old that have continually gotten more frequent and more painful over the years, to the point that i get them almost every day and have taken advil, tylenol, midol, etc. so often that i’ve pretty much built up a tolerance to them and they do essentially nothing for me anymore. they’re usually just really bad headaches, but sometimes i get full-on migraines, and when i ended up in the ER in the spring (long story), the nurses told me i’m likely developing a migraine disorder. this is kind of just an unfortunate fact of life for me now since it’s been going on for eight years, but i’ve just been thinking about it a lot lately bc of a psychiatrist appointment i had a couple months ago (lots of various appointments lately but not much has gotten better… lol). when i was telling the psychiatrist about my headaches, he told me that the average person gets a headache twice a year, which just… genuinely blew my mind. like, i cannot imagine not having this problem. what a nice life that must be for the average person. and i mean, i’ve always known that i get headaches way more often than most people, but i truly could not wrap my brain around the difference being that extreme. i literally started asking everyone i knew how often they got headaches bc i was so surprised and curious, and they all told me they just never get them?? like that is insane to me, i’m so jealous.

okay last thing for now: the reason i’m still awake rn! i started struggling with insomnia when i was maybe 11 or 12, and just like with the headaches, it’s gotten worse and worse over time and i’ve just kind of grown accustomed to it. it always takes me hours to fall asleep, and i have a very hard time staying asleep — i usually wake up in the middle of the night at least two or three times a night. it’s another thing i knew wasn’t super typical, but it’s not insanely uncommon either. but that same psychiatrist had a statistic for this too, and he said that the average person wakes up in the middle of the night ONCE A YEAR (under normal circumstances, so not counting things like being sick or having abnormally high stress levels). he also asked me how long it takes me to fall asleep again after waking up in the night, and i said “not that long, like half an hour usually” and he quite literally just stared at me and said “yeah so that is long actually.” like, i know not everyone has insomnia, but this whole time i thought that everyone who DOES have it would have generally the same experience as me, and apparently that’s just not true lmao. in fact, he said my insomnia is so bad that i have what’s called terminal insomnia, so i guess this is just my life forever! how fun is that!

so that’s pretty much all i wanted to say (she said as if she didn’t just spend 30 minutes typing all of this). whenever something like this is on my mind, it makes it even harder to sleep than it already is all the time, so i figured i’d just come on here and word vomit for a while. i don’t expect anyone to read all of this (or any of it tbh), but if you have, thank you for listening! i hope you have a great day and get a better night’s sleep than me tonight :)

[lottswrites]

can someone, anyone tolerate reddie posting in 2023 because i can’t get the image out of my head of richie realizing that eddie isn’t clean, he’s just afraid of germs and wet/sticky things, so he’ll leave his clothing on the floor and leave mail on random tables without bothering to throw away the junk, and that leaves richie in the bizarre position of having to tell eddie that he needs to clean up after himself and the thought is so bizarre that it takes three conversations with mike to convince himself that this is actually what he’s experiencing

like sure eddie is a fastidious disinfecter and he’ll vacuum for hours after he reads a random article about dust mites, but he doesnt fold the throw blankets after he uses them, he doesn’t even sort the utensils when he puts away the dishes! he puts them all in random slots!!!

it makes sense when u think about it, tho, he went right from living with his mom to living with a wife who fussed over him just like his mom did, so these kinds of do-them-as-you-go chores never really became internalized. he always had someone else keeping things neat. richie is truly amazed at how disorganized eddie is, but also very endeared, like “oh, he’s not some superhuman cleaning machine, he’s a germ freak and a mess and i suppose the love of my life.”

this could even be undiagnosed adhd eddie, which i always thought made sense for his character. it would make sense for him to stay in an unsatisfying marriage because he felt taken care of, especially if there are certain household tasks he struggles with. hell, his first scene in the book is him standing in front of his medicine cabinet, staring at its contents, and saying “fuck it” and just throwing everything in his suitcase, up to and including his wife’s midol, which is very chaotic and not at all the tidy, organized version of him that is very popular (and for good reason— movie eddie is more neurotic about external things than book eddie, who’s mostly just neurotic about his health).

idk i am just very fond of eddie who gives off the vibe of a successful person who works a boring office job and makes a lot of money but at home, struggles to keep his suit pressed or get to work on time.

[thecassadilla]

Hi Cass! I'd love to read #3 "I think I love you" for kristanna. Regards 😘

Hi, Angie!!! I really hope you like this fic!!! 🥰 It’s a modern au. I apologize if the formatting is wonky, I had to post this using tumblr mobile. Special thanks to @tamorasky for helping me with this one!!

3. “I think I love you.” Send me a prompt!

The first time Anna told Kristoff that she loved him was on their third date.

He’d just returned to the table she had been saving for them at the local hamburger joint, setting down a tray of burgers and fries and milkshakes in the space in front of her for them to gorge themselves on. Anna had been talking about how hungry she was since he’d picked her up, and apparently, finally setting eyes on the tray of food had been enough for her to proclaim her affections for him.

“I think I love you,” she said, beaming at him with sparkling eyes.

Kristoff was completely taken aback by how easily the words slipped out of her mouth, barely able to focus on anything other than his shaking hands and racing mind and whether or not he should say it back to her. Even though the thought of Anna telling him that she loved him was enough to make his heart drum like a heavy metal rock song, there were two problems. The first was that they’d only been on three official dates and he knew there was no way she could already be in love with him. The second, which was directly tied to the first, was the possibility that she was actually talking about the food and not about him - as soon as she’d taken the first bite of her cheeseburger, she seemed to completely forget about what she’d said, instead talking about how good the food was and how she waited all day for this moment.

But Kristoff didn’t forget. How could he?

The next time she said something similar wasn’t too long after the burger joint incident, but it involved a completely different set of circumstances. He had been expecting to spend a boring evening at home by himself, but his mood was instantly brightened when his phone started ringing and he saw Anna’s name displayed across the screen. With a smile, he answered the phone, only for Anna’s voice to urgently come through the speaker before he could even say “hello.”

“Kristoff, it’s an emergency!”

Less than an hour later, he found himself standing in the feminine hygiene products aisle of the grocery store, completely overwhelmed by all the options on the shelf. Nervously, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Anna, hoping she’d be able to point him in the right direction.

“I’m really out of my realm of expertise here,” he chuckled nervously. “Which ones do you need?”

“Just the regular kind.”

His eyes scanned over the shelves. “Um...what does regular mean?”

“Like...regular!” was her unhelpful answer. “Just get the pink box that says ‘regular’ on it.”

“There are a lot of pink boxes.”

“It’s on the bottom shelf, usually.”

He squatted down, squinting at the tiny font before finally locating the one she seemed to be talking about - or so he hoped. “Okay, I got it. Do you need anything else?”

“Midol,” she answered quickly. “And chocolate ice cream!”

“Got it.”

“You’re the best!”

After gathering the rest of the items she needed and garnering a look of sympathy from the cashier in the checkout lane, he set off to Anna’s house. Before he could knock on her front door, but with his hand poised and ready to, it swung open.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Anna exclaimed, grabbing the plastic shopping bag from his hand and rising up on her toes to pepper kisses over his face. “I love you!”

Kristoff blushed. “Oh, I -”

But in a flash, she was running towards the bathroom, calling to him from over her shoulder. “I owe you one!”

And in an instant, his heart had plummeted to the pit of his stomach.

A bit of time passed before another L-word incident occurred. One late night phone call and a drive to a nightclub later, and Anna was sitting in the passenger seat of his truck, drunk out of her mind after a night out with her girlfriends.

“Tonight was so fun,” Anna slurred. “I had the best time ever.”

Kristoff chuckled, tearing his eyes away from the road for a moment to peer over at her. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, but it’s so much better now that I’m with you,” she said, a high-pitched giggle escaping her lips as she placed a hand on his bicep. “You’re my favorite person.”

“Am I?” he asked, unable to hide his growing smile.

“Uh huh. Whenever I’m around you, the butterflies in my belly don’t stop fluttering and I think…” she trailed off, hiccuping. “I think that means that I love you.”

Kristoff swerved the truck at her confession, instantly grateful that there was no one else on the road at that hour and that an accident had been avoided. Though he was unsure of what to say, opened his mouth to respond, only to be cut off by Anna continuing.

In a way, he was glad that she hadn’t given him the opportunity to respond because he didn’t know what exactly he’d respond with, but the thought lingered in his head. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to tell her that he felt the same way - that he felt the butterflies, too, and that he loved her - but the words died in his throat. She continued chatting throughout the duration of the drive, and when he finally pulled up to his apartment complex, they both climbed out of the car.

“Can you carry me?” she whimpered, raising her arms slightly and not moving from where she was standing by the car door. “My feet hurt.”

“Of course.”

He walked over and in one swift motion, swept her off of her feet and cradled her in his arms. She rested her head against his chest, clutching the fabric of his t-shirt as he carried her towards his apartment. Though it was a bit of a struggle to get the door open, he managed to get them both inside safely before heading straight for the bedroom.

“Kristoff?” Anna whispered.

He peered down at her. “Hmm?”

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Any time.”

“You’re so good to me.”

“You’re good to me, too,” Kristoff smiled. As gently as he could, he laid her on the bed, pushing back the sheets before sliding her high heels off of her feet. “Is that better?”

A relieved grin spread across her lips as she glanced up at him through hooded eyes. “Much better.”

“Good.” He pulled the sheets over her body before ducking down to brush her bangs out of her eyes and press a kiss to her forehead. “Try to get some sleep, okay?”

“Mmhmm,” she nodded, already close to dozing off.

He returned to his full height, smiling down at her sleeping form before turning on his heel to switch off the light.

“Kristoff?” Anna mumbled.

He peered over his shoulder just in time to catch her eyes slowly blinking open. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

But before Kristoff could say anything back to her, her eyes closed again and she settled against the pillow. A yearning, aching feeling began to spread in his chest, knowing full well that she wouldn’t remember saying that in the morning. And though he didn’t say it out loud, the only words repeating in his brain were I love you too.

As he got himself ready for bed a little while later, he tried to rationalize every time she’d said the words “love” and “you” in the same sentence. She was drunk. It was an emergency. She was starving. Maybe she doesn’t mean it. Maybe she just says it to everyone. Maybe I’m just overthinking it.

With a sigh, Kristoff climbed into bed next to her and stared at the ceiling until his eyes finally became too tired to stay awake anymore.

Unsurprisingly, he woke up before her the next morning. She had migrated in her sleep, moving impossible close to him, one of her legs sprawled over his and her arm strewn across his chest. He laid there, unmoving, until she finally began to stir and squinted her eyes at him. Kristoff smiled. “Good morning, sunshine.”

Anna groaned, burying her face into the pillow.

“How are you feeling?”

“Gross,” she answered, her voice muffled by the pillow. After a moment, she turned to face him. “My head is pounding.”

“Let me get you some aspirin and make you some breakfast. You’ll feel better if we get some food in you.” Kristoff moved to push himself up off the mattress, but Anna pulled him back down.

“No, just…” she trailed off, nuzzling her face against his chest. “Stay here and snuggle with me.”

“Okay.” He settled back down, wrapping his arms around her and stroking her hair with his hand.

“Thank you for always being there for me.” She angled her head upwards so she could meet his gaze. “I really don’t know what I would do without you.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “I don’t know what I would do without you, either.”

“I just want you to know that I meant what I said last night,” Anna murmured.

Kristoff furrowed his eyebrows, slightly confused by what she was referring to. “What did you say?”

“I said that I love you,” she answered. “I did say it, right? I didn’t just dream it?”

“Oh. Oh.” His eyebrows shot up as he finally understood what she meant, a rush of adrenaline shooting through his veins. “You...you did.”

“Oh, okay.” She furrowed her brows for a fraction of a second. “Good.”

“I, um…” he trailed off, swallowing thickly. “I wasn’t sure if you just said it because of the alcohol o-or because you were half-asleep. I didn’t think you would remember saying it, honestly.”

“Oh...yeah, no. I mean, I was drunk and half-asleep, but I did mean it.” Anna huffed a small laugh, her eyes crinkling in the corners as she added, “I’ve meant it every time I said it. I love you, Kristoff.”

“I love you, too,” Kristoff breathed, barely able to contain the smile spreading over his lips. “I love you so much.”

And as their lips met amidst a flurry of giggles, all the doubt disappeared and all was right with the world.

[starlight-writes-stuff]

hi again omg! im getting into the feral boys and i was hoping you could do some headcanons for them with a reader that has their period (but could you make it gender neutral if possible?) - ⚙️ anon

⚙️ anon ! hi ! i can absolutely do this , im sorry it took a long time . i genuinely ended up LOVING these , and i hope you do too ! 

AYO LOOK AT THESE : reader who gets a period , mentions of cramps , usage of tylenol / painkillers of that sort , very very very fluffy feral boys content . i luv them .

reblogs are always appreciated ! <3

dream : 

would be incredibly worried :(

and unbelievably empathetic

he’s such a good fkn person in general ugh

“i don't know how it feels but i would imagine its … not good”

he would just want to keep you comfortable

“stay in bed, baby, i’ll bring [whatever] to you”

would go on pad/tampon runs for you

and wouldn’t be a pussy about it

“what size ? how heavy is your flow ?”

would call you while he was in the aisle to double check

and would get more than one box

“i know it fluctuates”

while he was out he would pick up some little gifts for you

just things to keep you comfortable

a blanket because “it looked soft”

some of your favorite chocolate

“did you know that chocolate produces endorphins ? which can help with cramps ?”

a little teddy bear

and would pick up some junk food for you

he’d move his stream to comfort you all night

“can i hold you ? will you still be comfortable ?”

would end up laying your head in his lap and running his hands through your hair

he’d do small , soothing actions until you fell asleep

and would be so still while you napped on him

clay would die if he woke you up

you’re his number one priority , and you need your rest

george :

sweet gogs would be . so concerned .

“... are you alright , my love ?”

would get pouty because you were irritated 

but would understand

he tries his best to help you in anyway possible

brings you water and tylenol

and would make you a snack to go with it

“you have to take it with food so your body can process it , darling .”

purchases a heating pack to keep at his house

and genuinely just tries to keep you as comfortable as possible

picks you up bridal style

to transfer you from couch to bed

and would be SO upset when you whimpered in pain

“did i hurt you , baby ? are you okay ?”

you’d try to explain that it wasn’t him at all

just your body working against you

but would insist on nursing you 

going as far to lift your water cup to your lips for you

“wanna make sure you’re taken care of , sweet thing .”

would bring you desserts and comfort foods

and would eat half

gogy would try to get you to nap

“your body is working so hard ! you need rest !”

and would be elATED when you fell asleep tucked against him

he’d run a hand up and down your back while you slept

trying to comfort you even in unconsciousness

sapnap :

trying his best

bless his little heart

would be incredibly concerned but very scared

not necessarily of you

but of you

wouldn't want to make you mad in any way , shape , or form

is worried that you’ll rip him to shreds

but is also v soft for you

doesn’t like seeing his s/o in pain :(

so he’d be very careful with you

won't give up his cuddles tho

would jump 10 feet into the air when you said “ow!” after he wrapped an arm around your lower tummy

apologizes incessantly

feels bad for the next week

would make you tea and warm drinks to help

and would diy a heat pack out of rice and a sock 😭

nick would NOT want to leave you alone

so he’d try to cook

and would do pretty well !!

would make you mac and cheese from the box

but it was so good

and would feed you oreos

he’d make you both milkshakes, too

karl : 

nurse karl™ is on the case

he would be the BEST at taking care of you

would have an entire period kit at his place

and would carry tampons/pads in a bag in his backpack just in case

karl knows you inside and out 

and has taken notes on what to do while you're on your cycle

stocks up on all your comfort foods the week before

makes sure you have plenty of supplies

he would make a movie lineup for the two of you to watch together

all cheesy rom coms and disney flicks

he’d sing all the songs to you

would make jokes about being your prince charming

karl would try to make you smile in any way he could

he would make you a comfy spot on the couch

with lots of pillows and blankets

“is it okay if i hold you ?”

would be s o gentle

barely touching you

“baby , i'm not made of glass”

“but i don't want to hurt you !”

would end up spooning

and karl would smother you with kisses

“gotta kiss it better >:(“

he’d keep you clothed in his big hoodies and sweatpants

and would make sure that you always had a warm towel when you got out of the shower

karl would run all the errands you usually did

and would bring flowers back from the store

quackity :

loml big q

god he would be so so so tender with u

he would go completley soft

because seeing you in pain just rips his heart to shreds

has the whole phantom pain thing

because yall are so fkn close w each other

wouldn’t leave you alone like ,,, ever

is so worried that you’re going to lose too much blood

you’ve tried to explain that your body regulates it to an extent

but he doesn’t care

he’d call your mom to ask for tips

and would follow all of them to a t , PLUS everything that he’d picked up on already

would make sure to keep you hydrated

gets gatorade “because you need electrolytes !”

he’d run you warm showers

and get you clean , soft clothes

would give you back and neck rubs to help with your muscles

alex would lay in bed with you all day 

he’d love when you napped on his chest

would set timers on his phone for giving you ibuprofen

“every six hours , my love .”

alex would 100% get midol and be so proud that he found it

finally makes a trip to the store on like ,,,,,, day 3/4

would take a picture the pads/tampons you use so he gets the correct ones

and would buy multiple boxes so you’d never run out

is incredibly comforting

does small tasks for you

brushes your hair and tries his best to braid it back

would make you foods that are high in iron

“you need it , baby , it’s for your blood”

but would follow it up with hot chocolates for the both of you

he’d sing softly to you until you fell asleep in his arms

and would press little kisses to your head

[mcwriting]

The Marriage Project (2)

part 2 is already here! fun fact, I’ve actually written like 16 chapters and I probs won’t always be posting weekly but I really wanted to put out part 2 sooooo... yeah. The Tom Holland x reader high school AU continues

Story Masterlist

Warnings: mild language

Word Count: 2365 (shorter than before, I know)

% approximately 1st week of September %

The next week had been relatively uneventful. Mrs. Flynn gave you both an A on your budget for the first week.

She also drew the next weekly condition, which for you was a $300 doctor’s visit of one family member.

“Well that’s stupid. If this were real life, we wouldn’t even need to take our kids to the doctor as PA’s,” Tom argued.

“First off, it’s not real life, and secondly, what if the kid broke a bone? Who’s gonna cast it, genius?”

“Well we probably wouldn’t have to pay,” he grumbled

When Friday afternoon hit, you were almost disappointed to see Tom not in the stands for your game, but remembered that the team had to start all their pregame rituals a couple hours before kickoff.

After crushing the competition, you took a quick shower and put on the shirt every senior was supposed to wear and walked to the field, where some of your friends had already claimed a spot on the bleachers. 

It was still a half hour before kickoff, so you talked as they helped put paint streaks on your cheeks and tie ribbons in your hair to show school spirit. You also watched the boys run drills until they were called to the sidelines for the national anthem. 

The team captains met for the coin toss, and as Tom and his co captain headed back to the team huddle, Tom spotted you in the crowd and pointed directly at you.

You didn’t know what he was doing so you quickly flipped him off and went back to your conversation.

They ended up winning the game by a field goal, and true to his word, Tom had actually played pretty well, aside from getting sacked towards the end of the game. 

You and the girls, not yet wanting to go home, hung out in the parking lot as families left.

“Hey, look. It’s your husband,” Alexis pointed out as Tom and a couple other players came limping down the lot with bags in tow. They were still wearing their football pants but had removed their jerseys, leaving on sleeveless compression shirts.

“Ugh. Don’t remind me. But I will say, his mom already loves me. We’re on a first name basis.”

She gave you a little low-five out of pride.

You couldn’t help but notice Tom pull the necklace out from under his shirt’s collar, the ring still attached.

Did he wear that the whole game?

He spotted you from a few yards away and yelled out,

“Hey hey hey. What did I tell you? Swooning yet?” he held his arms out as if to show he was right.

“Not quite, bub. But I’ll give you that touchdown pass. Don’t forget we have to work on the budget tomorrow!”

“Yeah yeah, see you then, princess.” He waved a hand as he continued on to his car.

Ugh. Princess.

Tom had been calling you that ever since the time freshman year you were the leading princess in a school play. 

You had hated the role for many reasons. 

For one, the character had no development and was basically dumb and defenseless (aka the exact opposite of you and everything you stood for). On top of that, the costumes were hideous, and what should have been a couple of pretty ballgowns and flowing skirts ended up being completely unflattering in color, shape, and style.

Everyone knew you hated it, and Tom loved to rub that in your face.

Eventually, you decided to retire home for the night since you had had such a taxing day.

%

You rang the Holland’s doorbell again, and this time it was opened by Tom’s youngest brother, Paddy. He was in the 5th grade, so you didn’t know him well. 

A perfect opportunity to make a good impression.

“Hey there, Paddy. Is Tom around? We’re supposed to work on our project today.”

“I’m not sure where he is, but I’m sure I can find him. Come on in.”

“Oh thank you. So polite.”

He sheepishly looked down as his face reddened. 

“I’ll be right back.”

He ran to the stairs and disappeared up them. A few minutes later an exhausted looking Tom appeared at the top of the stairs next to his brother.

“Come on up, I need to take a piss before we get started.” he called down, ever the charmer. He rubbed his eyes. He was only wearing a pair of sweats.

You followed his word and sat down on his bedroom floor, pulling up the documents on your computer as you waited. He came back wearing a shirt, a mug of coffee in hand.

“Want some? I made it fresh. I just woke up if you couldn’t tell.”

“No thanks. I don’t drink coffee, I find it disgusting. Caffeine addiction’s bad for you anyways.”

He looked down at the drink and back at you.

“Well we can’t all be perfect little princesses.”

You wanted to slap him, but just fired back with an insult and got to work. There wasn’t as much to do today other than reallocate the funds for the appointment and make up a story of what could have happened.

You both laid on your stomachs looking at the screen. As you typed, you heard heavy breathing and glanced over to see Tom had fallen back asleep.

Wow. He almost looks nice when he’s sleeping. What a disappointment.

You finished your paragraph and shook him awake.

“Ugh. sorry. I told you I’m a mess after game days.”

He went to push up to a sitting position when he winced, inhaling sharply. He put his head back on the ground.

“Woah there. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just pulled a muscle in my back last night. I think it’s from that sack.”

“Do you need me to get you something? LIke icy hot or some advil? I carry both at all times.”

“Icy hot would be perfect. I already took some painkillers.”

You shifted up and grabbed your backpack, pulling out the tube. You tossed it next to him to use.

“I hate to ask this, because you’re you, but could you put it on for me? I don’t think I can reach.”

You hesitated, but agreed since you knew what it felt like to be in pain like that. 

“Okay. Give me a general idea of where it is and I’ll poke around to find it.”

“Just under my shoulder blades on the right.”

He pulled up his shirt and you went to touch his back lightly. He flinched when your fingers graced his skin.

“Oh yeah, my hands are cold by the way.”

“No shit.”

You put your hand back, pressing lightly until he winced again, then you put a small amount of the ointment on your hand, massaging it in.

 You rhythmically rubbed your hand over the area in little circles, trying to loosen the tight muscle with your palm. You didn’t think much about it until he let out a moan, and you pulled your hand back like he was on fire.

“Oh my God I’m so sorry. It just felt so good on that spot and it just slipped out-”

“Let’s just agree to never mention this again. I’m gonna go wash my hands. And hopefully my brain while I’m at it. Where’s your bathroom?”

“Just across the hall. Can’t miss it.”

A little bit later and you were finally done for the day, so you helped Tom up and again packed your things.

“Sorry again about earlier. Thanks, though. It really helped.”

“Like I said, we don’t need to talk about it. Just never make that sound again, please. See you Monday.”

And with that you were out the door.

%

Another week, and Mrs. Flynn gave you another A and a budget condition.

Both you and Tom again won at your respective sporting events, and you again went to Tom’s.

Throughout the week, you and Tom had been on your usual game, firing shots. But at home it was like he was a different person. Sure you still jabbed at each other occasionally, but there was a more friendly aspect to it this week.

You were sitting on the floor when you felt a familiar pain in your lower abdomen.

You ignored it for a minute, but then it hit twice as strong. Immediately you shot up.

“I'm going to the bathroom,” you stated, speaking quickly.

“Uh. Okay?”

You rushed in and as you sat down pulled up your period tracker app. 

You weren’t supposed to start for 4 more days.

Well that’s a lie you thought as you caught a streak of red upon wiping.

You dug through the under-sink cabinet, hoping and praying to find something, anything you could use. When that came up dry, you just stuffed up some toilet paper and resigned to getting a tampon from your backpack.

A sense of panic filled your chest, however, when you realized the little bag you kept with extra supplies was nowhere to be found. That’s when you remembered that you had taken it out to replenish and apparently never put it back.

“Oh no. Oh no no no!”

There wasn’t even a single liner at the bottom of the bag.

“What’s got you in a tiff, princess? Don’t we have everything we need already?”

You sighed. You weren’t one to announce when you were on your period, since guys liked to believe that all women become bitches when they bleed. But you were desperate.

“Look, I know you’re gonna make fun of me, but I just started my period and don’t have anything to deal with it and I don’t know what to do.”

“Can’t you just hold it?”

“Ha ha good one. Seriously though I don’t know what I’m gonna do. If I don’t figure out something fast, I’ll bleed through my pants.”

Tom looked at you confused.

“Wait a second,” you started. “You weren’t serious right then, right? Like you do know it’s something women can’t control?”

“WHAT?” he exclaimed. “You can’t?”

“You know, for someone who calls himself so smart you sure are a dumbass. How do you know nothing about periods? You play football, haven’t you had a girlfriend before?”

He got quiet.

“No. I’m too busy competing with you that when I do get free time, everyone gets really intimidated by you.”

“Oh... “ you didn’t know what to say, but then a cramp hit you like a ton of bricks and you doubled over. “Ugh. could you just go get your mom? I need to go back to the bathroom and try not to throw up.”

Eventually, Nikki came and left some midol, tampons, and a heating pad for you and you were able to go back to Tom’s room, finding him leaning against his bed. He sat up straight when you walked in.

“Are- are you okay? You seemed to be in a lot of pain earlier.”

You plugged in the heating pad and turned it on, laying down on your back so you could drape it across your stomach. The midol hadn’t yet kicked in.

“Yeah, I’m good. It was early this month and I just wasn’t prepared,” you said staring at the ceiling, but turned your head to look at him. 

“Sorry if what I said was insensitive. I just figured you knew more about it than the average guy and I was so panicked that I wasn’t thinking straight. I’ve never had a boyfriend either. Same situation.”

“Hah, nerd.” 

You rolled your eyes and threw a nearby pillow at him. 

“Like you have room to talk. Now let’s just finish this so I can go home and take a nap.”

%

When you got to home ec Monday, you hadn’t spoken to Tom since leaving his house Saturday. Frankly, you were embarrassed about the situation still and figured he felt awkward too. 

Then, of course, you learned that Mrs. Flynn had decided to throw the class a curveball to tie the marriage project into regular class assignments.

For a unit on sewing, she was making each couple work together to make a small “marriage quilt” approximately the size of a baby blanket. Partners would have to work together to choose the colors, make a design, and sew it together within 2 weeks in class.

So there you were, sitting in the back corner of the room discussing design options and drawing up a pattern with Tom.

Upon realizing you both loved blue, you decided to make a blue based quilt. There would be little teal and pink accents as well in a couple of the fabrics you chose.

You sat in silence as you both cut small squares of fabric and batting. Other groups were talking, but things still felt heavy.

“Hey, uh. About Saturday…” Tom began quietly from the right of you.

“Please don’t bring it up. Everything turned out fine so let’s just keep it that way. I don’t need you to embarrass me more.”

“No, it’s not that. I just… what you said got me thinking. I know about all kinds of stuff and I’d like to go into medicine one day, but I know nothing about women’s health. So, I spent a good portion of yesterday researching and honestly, I had no idea how much you all go through. We may hate each other, but I respect you a lot more than before.”

“Oh. Wow. You know, I’m sure you read about it yesterday, but it’s super different for everyone. I wouldn’t even consider mine nearly as bad to some peoples’. But that’s really nice of you. And just because we hate each other doesn’t mean I won’t offer to let you ask me questions whenever. Education is way more important than any rivalry.” 

He smiled slightly and looked down at his desk, then back up, putting out his left fist. 

“Is a fist bump a good enough agreement to let each other ask any kinds of questions like that, no malice intended?” he asked.

You smiled back and hit your right fist to his left one. Eventually you went back to your normal arguing, but you couldn’t stop replaying the scene in your head.

%

A/N: thanks for reading guys! I’m so so busy with school right now that it’s going to be hard to release chapters weekly but I am trying to keep a somewhat regular upload schedule! I’ve written about 16 chapters so I have a lot of content to share already and there’s still more before I finish. As always, I can’t reply to post replies but my messages and asks are always open! 

Tag List: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06

[haileygarciasunshine]

Aunt Flow

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Word Count: 1,310

Warning: talk of blood, talk of periods🤷‍♀️.

The idea came to me while in the shower😳 Hope you like it!

It had become a habit of yours, to visit ‘Scoops Ahoy,’ almost every day or every other day. Your boyfriend Steve, and your friend Robin spent most of the Summer working at the ice cream parlor. Robin wasn’t too keen on the idea of you becoming friends at first, and now the two of you are as thick as thieves.

“Y/N!” An abnormally chipper voice sounded.

Giggling at her excitement you greeted her, “Hey Robin! Long time no see.”

She giggled back, “I know it’s only been, what? Six hours?”

Suddenly a masculine voice interupted, “something like that.”

“Hey, Steve.” You glanced at Steve, only to advert your eyes as he glanced at you.

“Hi, Y/N.”

Robin hopped onto the back counter, while you made your way to the back room.

“Psst...Y/N...” Robin hissed, “Do you have... any of those... ‘Feminine Hygene’ products...”

“Yeah, I do. What can I do ya for?” Chuckling at how Robin, was trying to keep it ‘Top Secret’. Taking your cross body bag off, setting it on the counter, and opened it for her to take whichever product she wanted.

After, her selection she stated, “I’ll be right back,” and bolted out of the parlor, almost knocking Dustin over on the way out.

“Geez, what’s her deal?” Dustin said while walking into the back room.

Opening your bag of pretzels from your purse, you nonchalantly replied, “she got her visit from Aunt Flow.” When neither guy responded you looked up at them. They both mirrored the others reaction. Widen eyes, and slacked jaws.

“What?” You asked innocently.

“You...You mean she got her....That..” Dustin stuttered in shock.

“Dustin!” Steve hissed.

Rolling your eyes at their responses, “Yeah, she did.”

“Do you... Do you get that?”

“Dustin!” Steve yelled in annoyance, “You can’t just go around, asking intimate questions about people!”

Dustin flipped Steve off.

Giggling at both boys, you said, “It’s alright Steve. He can’t help it if he’s curious.”

“I’m back,” Robin started, before getting confused, “What’d I miss?”

“Oh you know, our Scoops Ahoy health class!” Steve huffed in fake annoyance. In reality, he felt relieved that Dustin was asking such personal questions, because he hadn’t paid much attention in he much attention in the health, class he had taken at Hawkins High. None of his past girlfriends, ever talked about their period, because it’s considered such a taboo thing to happen. He wanted to be there for his loved ones during that time of the month, and he couldn’t figure out how. But now he’s hoping that he can learn something from you.

“Y/N!”

“Yes, Robin?” your tone was full of innocence, hoping she wouldn’t be mad at you.

“Care to explain?”

“I was getting there, until I was interrupted,” you replied shrugging, “It’s not my fault the kid has questions about Aunt Flow. I’m just trying to help educate the young.”

“Why do you call it Aunt Flow?”

“Do you want to answer that, or should I?” Slightly turning to Robin who was back at her previous stop, sitting on top of the front counter. You offered her a pretzel from your bag of pretzels, which she so graciously accepted.

“I got this one, Y/N/N. Well it’s actually called a lot of different things. Aunt Flow, Shark Week, Time of the Month, Ect. You’ll eventually learn about that in health class.” She turned to glare at Steve, “If you pay attention, unlike dingus here.”

“You mean to tell me, every female out there bleeds once a month? How long does it last?”

“Seven days.”

“Every month?”

You and Robin both replied in unison, “Every month.”

Both Dustin and Steve, exchanged dumbfounded looks, at the table they were sitting at in the backroom.

“Speaking of, do you have any aspirin?”

“I have the works. Do you want Midol?”

“Yes, please. Before either, of you boys even think about talking to me, don’t.” Robin snapped half joking, and half not joking, “I’m only talking to, Y/N. She understands the pain.” 

“Okay, hypothetical here,” Steve started, “How would a loving boyfriend, comfort his girlfriend then?”

You and Robin exchanged confused glances, “Well, there’s a lot of different ways. Robin, would you like to take this one? I’m starving.”

“You were literally just eating pretzels.”

“Yeah...So?” Giving her a confused look, “What’re you craving I’ll pick it up before I come back.”

“See Dingus, that’s why Y/N’s my favorite.”

“I didn’t even say anything!” Steve exclaimed confused.

“You didn’t have to. Hmm... Pizza! Oh wait! What about hot dogs? No, I know Chinese!”

“You have until I step foot out of the store, to make up your mind, after that it’s a done deal.” You made your way over to Steve, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, placing kisses on his cheek and his neck. 

“I’ll be back in a few! Robin, can you at least try not to kill the boys until I get back?”

“No promises!”

“So, Steve. You have it bad for my Sister, don’t cha?”

“Shut Up, Henderson.”

“Whatever.” 

“So, back to what I was about to say.” Robin piped up, “You can bring her, her favorite foods, chocolate, flowers, I think the most important thing, is to just give her your understanding and emotional support.”

Steve had a lot to think about the rest of the day.

A week had barely gone by, before Aunt Flow, paid you a visit too. It wasn’t the worst cramps you’ve had, but they were definitely, painful enough to make you stay in bed. Peeking, at the clock it said 6:30am. Your day was already off to a rough start. Steve decided that he was going, to stop by your house, since you hadn’t been answering his called. He had begun to worry. Using the spare key, you had given him, he opened the front door, and immediately took off his shoes.

“Steve?” A groggy voice asked.

“Hey, Buddy. Have you seen your sister?”

“No, it’s not even seven am, dude.”

“Right. I forgot.”

Steve quietly, made his way up the stairs, to your room. Opening the door, he was met with the all too familiar sight. You were curled up in a ball, which meant Aunt Flow, decided to visit. After the conversation, over a week ago, Steve felt like he could be of more use now, that he knew how to help more. He went into the hallway closet, pulling out a heating pad you had, and made his way back to your room. 

Turning it on, Steve got under the blankets with you, and put the heating pad on your stomach.

“Steve?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I would ask what you were doing here, but at this point I don’t care.” you whined, in pain.

“Here take this.”

“Is this my Midol?”

“Yeah, you and Robin really taught me a lot, I want to put it to good use.”

Steve had cuddled up to you from behind, pulling you close to him, while placing his hand on your stomach and gently trying to help alleviate some of the pain you were feeling, by rubbing in circles.

“Steve....”

“Whenever you feel up to it, we can go to the movie store if you want, and rent some of your favorite ones.”

“Thank you, Steve.” Turning to face him a little you said something he never expected, “Just so you know, in my book you make a damn good boyfriend too.”

Steve smiled lovingly, at you before placing a gentle kiss on your lips, not paying attention to the door creaking open.

“Y/N?”

Breaking the kiss you responded, “Yeah Dusty?”

“Can I come cuddle with you?”

“Always.”

It was only a matter of seconds before, there was three of you laying in your bed. It brought you joy, that the two most important men in your life, were both in your room giving you their support.

[jojoreadwhat]

I'll pick you up when you're getting down. | b.h. x fem!reader

prompt; fem!reader is dealing with her time of the month and Ben is just too sweet.

words; 1.2k

this tale includes a ton of fluffiness and love.

inspiration;

You listened to the drizzling weather outside your window, the Telly had been turned off in frustration shortly ago. As you have been lying in bed all day, finally having enough of it. Unfortunately having no choice but stay wrapped in the sheets. Feeling weak and tired.

You groaned into your pillow for the millionth time this hour from the sharp pains grinding in your uterus. Your time of the month arrived today and you haven't had a restful moment since. It's been hell, from so close to eating Midol like candies and trying many unsuccessful positions to relieve them. To finally now lying with a firm pillow under your stomach, watching the droplets dance over the window aimlessly. The sound soothing you as you pulled the duvet tighter around yourself.

Beginning to feel your eyes become heavy until a light knock on the door startled you.

"Baby?" Ben called in quietly, you couldn't budge, the pain still unbearable to do so. You slightly groaned in response.

Ben was finally home from a year of being away filming. He had gotten home two days ago, you had planned to spend the day out together after the last two were cooped up inside. Your eyes moved to the clock on the nightstand before rolling them. In disbelief how time had moved as it neared the evening hours now. The whole day completely wasted. You sighed heavily, more in disappointment from it all.

You didn't know he had even entered the room until the smell of cinnamon grazed the rim of your nose, and a light thud of a bag being placed on the nightstand on his side. Shortly then beginning to feel the bed dip as he climbed into it.

Ben’s hand immediately resting on the small of your back. You moved your head to face his as he lied next to you. He smiled, moving the strands that had fell from your bun to behind your ear. Leaning in close close to kiss your forehead, as you hummed into the feeling.

"How are you feeling, baby girl?" His raspy, thick accent broke through. His thumb rubbing the side of your temple, you sighed, closing your eyes for a second.

"Like shit." You replied, miserably. Opening them back up slowly, smirking when a little flutter flew in your stomach from Ben’s chuckle followed with an 'Awe.' At first being very gentle about pulling you closer to him with his strong arm. But you reassured soon after when you removed the pillow under your stomach and moved closer into him.

"You poor baby," He pressed, feeling him inhale your hair as he lied with you. Rubbing his hand over your back, waiting for the rumbling pain to settle again from the adjustment. "I am being a baby." You mumbled into his chest. He shook his head,

“That’s quite alright, I’ll take care of you.” kissing your hair.

“I went and got you a few things." Pulling away in the slightest.

You raised your brow at the blonde, green eye, plump lipped englishman. Surprised that he even left the house, as he was still in a white shirt and joggers from this morning.

His hair still a little messy too, which all you could was smile about. "You did?" You questioned, watching his lips curl as he nodded.

"Can you try and sit up for me love?" He asked, "You've been laying quite a bit." The thought already made you feel uneasy. But Ben sat up first, his hand still steady on your back as you rose and sat up on your crossed feet.

"I heard cinnamon tea is good for the cramping," He began, again. Ben turned to the nightstand after, grabbing a hold of the big mug. Carefully handing it to you, and you taking a sip of it. You watched a proud Ben reach towards the nightstand again, grabbing a plastic bag.

He sat it in the middle of you both, beginning to pull out what he found. "I got you some more meds," he began, pulling out a blue little box. "A heating pad, I saw you were running out of these." He added, you giggled at the array of pads and tampon purchases.

"How did you know what to get?" You asked, taken back by all the things he picked up. Ben smiled, "I googled it." Looking at the back of the heating pads packaging. His eyes squinted, focused at the directions. All officiant and concerned. It was adorable, you were so grateful for him being so caring, even with it dampening the day.

"Well, thank you." You said, stirring the spoon in your mug. "Sorry about all of this." You added, "You know our failed plans and such."

Ben looking up at you when you did, "No no, baby. Don't be." He reassured, placing down the box. "I just want you to feel better." He said, then. His hands meeting your knees.

"Besides I've got a surprise for you downstairs." He mentioned, your eyes widened, "Really? What is it?!" Surprised by the sudden excitement overcoming of you. Ben just beamed back, "You'll see, you'll see." He said, then. "First we got to figure out how this works." Holding up the heating pad again.

++

After Ben helped you with the heating pad before leaving you alone to 'set everything up'. You decided to freshen up for whatever he had planned. Some clean tights, one of Ben’s cozy sweatshirts. Standing in front of your mirror as you fixed your messy bun.

You were applying some lip balm when Ben came into the bathroom, "You look comfy." He smiled, pulling you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around him, taking in his musk scent before kissing his chin. Smiling, "So do you." Noticing that he changed his shirt to a sweater as well.

"Are you ready?" He asked, you nodded quickly. Eager to know since he never gave you a hint about anything that he had in mind. He smiled, "Good good, cause it's ready." Taking you by the hand and leading you to the hallway of your apartment.

Ben led you down the steps, stopping at the last one. "Alright, I need you to close your eyes babe." He commanded, you obliged as Ben now stood behind you, having you lead the way. The walk from the steps to the living room wasn't too far usually, but it was as the anticipation grew.

Suddenly you both came to a stop, "Go ahead." He motioned and you opened your eyes to an amber glow. Coming from an abundance of blankets, layered into a fort. You gasped, "Benny!" You turned to him, immediately wrapping your arms around his neck.

"You did this for me?" You questioned, he smiled, wrapping his arms tightly around you. "Only for you." Kissing you before he told you to head inside. You did, crawling into the cave full of pillows and blankets. Aligned with twinkled lights, and snacks and drinks everywhere. A little laptop set up with a tiny stack of dvds. Frankie, Ben and now yours puppy, cuddled up waiting. It was perfect.

Ben followed after you, laying next to you after stacking some pillows for himself. "So, First season of The Office?" He offered, you nodded, watching him place it into the drive and settle back with you. Pulling you into his side, you kissed his cheek and he chuckled.

"You okay?" He asked, you smiled, relaxing more into him. Feeling so lucky. "Much better" You replied, listening to the theme begin to play. Snuggling up closer.

permanent tag list - @borhapqueen92

[jaskanetic]

Fun Fact about me:

I have this weird low-tolerance to some medicines

Which means I can get super drowsy and legit HIGH on things that shouldn't make you feel that way.

For instance: Midol. An over the counter pain killer. I will take it for cramps, and sometimes for toothaches.

The limit for Midol, is 6 pills a day. I have taken 2 today, and already feel woozy and tired and giggly.

YESTERDAY-

I took 4 Midols, AND an 800 Ibuprofen, because the pain was SO BAD.

The ONLY thing I remember doing yesterday, is going grocery shopping with my mom and sister.

And my mom proceeded to explain my behavior on that trip.

And she explained me as: sitting in the front seat smiling and bouncing around being like "Why am I the only one in a good mood lmao??? I had so much fun today is so GREAT!" In 100-and-something degree weather after an hour long trip in Walmart.

Then when we dropped my sister off, I apparently stood outside the truck with my door open DANCING AROUND while eating a cookie until my mom told me to stop and get in bc the AC was running.

I legit remember nothing else from yesterday.

And now that I think about it, the good portion of my morning since I took some painkillers AKA, M i d o l, has been a blur.

So basically

I am a very very very weird human being and can apparently get super high and giddy off of heckin pain pills which AREN'T SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU HIGH IN THE FIRST PLACE????

Even in the past when I would take Ibuprofen, it would turn me into a giggly bitch. Like.

Why @ my body ajdhwjdbdnf

It's kinda hilarious tho-

[lihikainanea]

I...I may re-write this at some point. Because I hate it. Let’s be clear, I just want these two to bang each other’s brains out again like right the fuck now but I feel like I had to ~set it up~ properly and just...look, this what you get when a horndog of an author with 2987548695659 kink buttons is in A Mood(TM) to get all of them SLAMMED AT ONCE but instead has to write ~fluff~ because it’s what makes sense for the story right now. If you need me, I’ll be in my little corner flipping this story off while my kink buttons very much do not get slammed. Fuck you BFF!Bill. I'm so mad at you right now.

Part 1 + 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

Credit my rage to @ill-skillsgard and that nani who ruined my life with the original ask in Parts 1+2 there.

I dunno how many parts left I got to this, the part below really discouraged me. I  feel like I got carried away in their story line and I’m all self-conscious about it now because I really just....I want to write all the sexy times. That’s it. I liked the shorter drabbles of these two that I did more towards the beginning. 

BLERGH, shut up Leilani. 

***

In hindsight, the ice cream was a terrible mistake. 

To your credit, it had taken awhile for things to get awkward. A good few weeks. And to Bill’s credit, he really made it near impossible to be awkward around him.The awkwardness had littered your friendship to varying degrees, but no matter how mortifying the events were, Bill just never seemed plussed about any of it. There had been the time he had gotten food poisoning on a camping trip in the woods, pitifully crawling his way on all fours to your tent in the middle of the night. You had woken up to what you thought was a wounded animal, unzipping your tent and seeing Bill’s curled up form on the ground in front of you. It had taken over an hour to help him crawl just a hundred feet to the communal washrooms, where you stayed with him on the floor for the entire night. It was nothing short of contortion, the way he folded his large body in on himself in the tiny stall, groaning in pain and discomfort. Your heart bled for him that night, he was so sick he had gone grey and the only thing you could do to help was stroke his soaked back and keep wetting paper towels to hold on his neck while he wretched. He had eventually passed out, thunking his head hard right onto your chest, and in your sleep-deprived hysteria, you thought he was dead. Mutual friends still tell the tale over beers, now a great source of laughter, of how you had emerged from the washrooms in the wee hours of the morning screaming for help with Bill--all 6′4 of him--slung over your shoulders in a fireman carry. Bill’s feet still dragged on the ground and his upper body hung limp over your shoulder, but you didn’t care. You just knew he needed help. When he eventually came to, hooked up to an IV and still looking grey, he didn't seem at all shocked when he was told how he made it to the medical centre.

Then there was the time during a traditional movie night at his place, when you felt the tell-tale cramp--that deep cramp low in your belly that had you folding in on yourself briefly. Your cycle wasn’t due for another 3 more days, but your body had other plans. You hadn’t even brought a purse to Bill’s, and looking frantically at your light coloured jeans, you knew you were in trouble. Bill stared at your form, gradually closing in on itself as another cramp hit.

“You okay?” he asked, putting a hand on your back.

“Yeah I uh...I have to go. Sorry, forgot I needed to do something tonight..” you trailed off, tossing the blanket and slowly shifting to stand in a way that would attempt to minimize the flow that you could now feel starting between your legs. Bill eyed you cautiously, then rolled his eyes. Grabbing another slice of pizza from the box in front of him, he stood and grabbed your elbow.

“C’mon,” he said, leading you to the bathroom.

“What are you--” your sentence was cut off when he reached an arm up, opening the cupboard. Inside, you stared in confusion when you spotted a small box of tampons, a few pads, even a little bottle of Midol. He turned to you, shoving another bite of pizza in his mouth.

“If there’s something in here you need, just take it,” he said, his mouth full as he chewed loudly.

“Bill why the fuck do you have these in your bathroom?”

He shrugged, blasé.

“Because I’m a grown ass man and I have grown ass women in my life,” he said, as if it was the most obvious explanation in the world.

“Take whatever you need and get your ass back on the couch, the best part is coming up,” he turned to leave before calling over his shoulder “or if you need something else or whatever, just write it down and I’ll pick it up next time I’m out.”

When you emerged from the bathroom a few moments later, a pair of sweatpants hit you smack in the face.

“In case you’re bloated or whatever,” was the explanation.

You changed. The pants were comically large, with a ton of material still pooling around your feet even after you had rolled the waistband a dozen times.

Joining him back on the couch, he covered the two of you with a blanket again before reaching behind him for something. He tucked a hot water bottle against your stomach and you moaned slightly at how good it felt, then he put his arm back around you and pulled you into his side, restarting the movie. Not another word was spoken.

So compared to a lot of what had happened in the past, having sex with him should have paled in comparison on the scale of awkward. If the sex had been terrible, perhaps a certain degree of awkwardness would be expected. But incredible sex? Incredible sex should be celebrated. And you were on board with that, for awhile.

Until the ice cream.

You had almost forgotten, in fact as the days went on you became more and more able to downplay what had happened, and the level of pleasure you experienced which seemed to have put your body in shock for more than a few days after. Maybe it wasn’t a matter of Bill being so good in bed, feeling so safe with him, and more a matter of just....how pent up you had been. You were almost convinced, almost certain that this was fact. Bill was probably just average, at best. But you did trust him a whole ton more than any of the Tinder dates you had met so combined with your hair trigger for needing a release at that time, it had all just culminated into three delightful explosions.

Until the ice cream.

It had been a longstanding tradition of yours, no matter the season, of going for ice cream the day before Bill left on another shoot. He had a sweet tooth that was completely unrivalled but he had stayed away from sweets for the few months leading up to his new gig, having to take some weight off his already slim frame for his new role.  But as you sat beside him, a banana split for you and an extra large vanilla soft serve for him, you realized what a terrible mistake this was.

“Oh my god,” he groaned in pleasure and you stilled, memories of that groan flooding your mind. You turned to him just in time to see his long tongue snake out, licking slowly from the the cone to the tip of his ice cream.

“Jesus Christ,” he moaned again, “it’s been so long.” His mouth closed around the peak of it, making a small slurping noise as he sucked part of it into his mouth. You felt the heat immediately rising to your cheeks. He moaned again, swirling his tongue around the cone.

“How’s yours?” he asked. 

“It’s uh, it’s good,” you said.

“Might be better if you took a bite, tiger,” he teased. Looking down, your spoon was clenched tightly in your fist and your sundae was untouched. Shaking your head slightly, you lifted the cherry off and popped it in your mouth. You nearly choked when Bill let go another groan that was nothing short of sexual.

“I’m in fucking heaven,” another long lick of his cone from bottom to top,  he sighed happily and closed his mouth over the top again to suck another bite in. Your thighs clenched as you couldn’t get rid of the images that flooded your brain. Bill’s green eyes, peering up at you from between your legs, asking permission. Bill’s eyes closed, moaning in content as he ran his mouth and his nose over your panties. The hum and suckling noise when he pursed his lips around your clit, dragging it into his mouth. That sinful tongue--that long, skilled tongue slowly lapping at his ice cream--and the way he slowly lapped at you, savouring every single lick as if it was giving him as much pleasure as it was giving you.

You watched as he stuck his tongue out to lick at some of the ice cream that had dribbled on his chin, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

He had done that too, once he was done turning you into a quivering, moaning mess beneath his mouth. You remembered how he raised up on his haunches, his eyes a blaze of fiery green, as he licked at his bottom lip and swiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 

You had almost started to sweat, feeling the flush creeping up your chest.

“You look weird, kid,” his voice interrupted your thoughts, “You okay?”

You cleared your throat, begging your voice not to crack. Begging--you had begged him, too, begged him to make you feel good. And he did. He promised you he would, and oh God, he did. You ran a hand over your face, resisting to urge to knock the side of your head in an attempt to force the images out of your thoughts.

“I’m good,” you lied. You couldn’t meet his eyes anymore, as you felt that ache deep in your gut start again. Your legs shook slightly, your thighs trembling, remembering how good it felt. How good he felt, and how good he made you feel. The way he seemed completely focused on your pleasure, on making sure any little movement he made gave you pleasure. How he had checked in on you, made sure you were feeling good, before continuing anything. How he had made you cry out, clinging to him, gasping for air not one, but three earth shattering times.

Suddenly, you needed air. You needed air, and you needed space. Distance. 

You stood, abruptly. Bill looked up mid-lick, his tongue still on his ice cream as his eyes peered up at you. That look. You closed your eyes, pinching your brow with your fingers.

“Finish tongue-fucking that ice cream, I have a lot of work to do tonight ” you said. Your tone had come out much, much harsher than you had intended, but you turned before you could catch the confused look on his face. 

He dropped you off that night, the car ride home was a one-sided conversation as he talked about the new project and how long he’d be gone, what he was excited for, what his character would do. Walking you to your door, he wrapped his arms around you tightly and laid a wet smack of a kiss on your cheek.

“Let me know when you’re free to FaceTime,” he had said, his face tucked into your neck, “There’s not too many night shoots so our schedules should sync up.”

“ ‘kay.” 

“And hopefully you can come out for a weekend, you’d probably like it there. New Tinder material for you,” he chuckled.

“ ‘kay.”

He pulled away, keeping his hands on your shoulders. You stared at his chest, but felt his eyes boring into you.

“Tiger,” he commanded, “look at me.”

When you shifted uncomfortably, he moved one hand to under your chin and tilted it up to meet his eyes.

“What’s going on with you?” he asked. You looked away, your chin still resting on his hand, and gave a half-hearted shrug. Images from before still clouded your brain, your pleasure receptors still firing on all cylinders at the memory of that mouth, those hands all over you. You let out a ragged breath, and his thumb and forefinger moved to pinch your chin.

“Are you getting awkward about what happened between us?” he asked and your eyes widened in surprise--sometimes his direct and straight-forward approach still caught you off guard.

“Jesus Bill,” you tried to move your chin away but he opened his hand, cupping your jaw.

“Answer me.”

“No, I’m not getting fucking awkward about it.”

“Eyes, kid.”

You dragged your eyes back to his and he saw right through you, raising his eyebrows in challenge. You pouted.

“Don’t lie to me, tiger,” his tone softened and he sighed, “Look, that night--did it feel good? Did you feel good?”

“Uh....yes,” you responded quietly. He bent at the knees, tilting his head to maintain eye contact with you when you tried to look away.

“And do you feel better now, after you got what you needed?” he asked. You hated this. You hated every part of how honest he was, how comfortable he was at having these insanely uncomfortable conversations.

“Ugh, Bill, I can’t--”

“Answer me.”

“Yes,” you whispered, heat blazing your cheeks. There was nothing but kindness in his eyes though, genuine honesty to his questions.

“You deserve to feel good. You needed to feel good. And you trusted me with that. And I helped?” he looked to you for confirmation.

“Yeah. Yeah you helped,” you confirmed. He smiled, stroking your cheek.

“And I was happy to. You’re my best friend, kid. I love you, and I wanted to help you. That’s it, okay? We promised it wouldn’t get awkward,” he looped an arm around you again, bringing you back in for a hug. ‘It’s just sex.”

“Fucking phenomenal sex,” you muttered into his chest.You felt his boisterous laugh, his arms squeezing you tighter.

“It was fucking phenomenal sex,” he pulled away and smiled at you.  You tugged his jacket collar down, silently beckoning him to bend and you kissed his cheek.

“Have fun, Billy Goat,” you said.

“Be safe, tiger” he responded, “Stay outta trouble while I’m gone.”

And with a final wave as you shut your door, you watched him pull out into the street. He’d text you tomorrow morning from the airport, you knew, and again when he landed.

But tonight, tonight you still had an ache in your gut, a tremble in your thighs that you knew wouldn’t let you sleep until those pleasure receptors--ones that remembered all too well--were satiated again.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 1490

so today was pretty decent. except for the fact that i've been in pain all day.

erika told me to go see a doctor. she also said i might have pcos. so i should really go see my doctor.

i mostly sleeved cards today. before i left i started cleaning things up and organizing messes and being more help, but i was able to do that because the midol finally kicked in. hallelujah.

and today i was also texting james about doing something this evening that wasn't dancing because of the sheer amount of pain i was in. he said that it would be fun to go do something. so i thought of going to paint pottery, and he agreed, so i found this place down in tewksbury that's closer to him because he had to be home at a certain time and i didn't want to keep him out too late. so we decided on that, and that we would meet after he went teaching with the sisters in lowell. i was pretty excited.

after work i headed down to this cute little place. it took me a bit to find it, but when i did i happily saw that it was not only quiet inside, but that it was bright and organized and clean. i was very happy. so i parked and waited.

around 7:30 james said he was on his way, and about 25 minutes later i get a call from him. he's lost (unsurprised), and he was asking me if i recognized any of the places he listed off. there was an ocean state job lot nearby, so when he listed that off, i asked him what direction he was headed in. since he said he was going north, i told him it would be a little further up on the road and it would be off to the left. he asked me the name of the place and put it into the gps.

and he finally saw that he was in nashua.

one (1) deep sigh later, i told him to go to hayward's in nashua and i'd meet him there. he said originally he owed me "a taco, or something" for messing this up. i shouldn't have been totally surprised, even though i gave him pretty clear directions, like it was just off of 495, but he must have not seen and processed it, because he just went straight to nashua because the text broke up "361 main st" and "tewksbury" instead of putting it together and being reliable. smh.

so anyway, we went to hayward's and i got ice cream and he got hot dogs and we sat and talked for an hour or something. it was nice.

he's so beautiful. he was telling me about his job (he's canvassing) and how he knocks on people's doors and talks to them about margaret bussey who's rubbing for public office. (she's a wonderful person and i love her to bits, and i would totally vote for her, if i lived in that area, even though she is a republican and my ideals don't exactly line up with those party lines, but i digress.) and i definitely thought to myself, "it's good that you're extremely attractive" because canvassers usually get the short end of the proverbial stick. and people don't pay attention. but since he's a beautiful man with a beautiful voice, it must be good for him.

anyway, we just sat and talked for a bit. we talked about family, roommates, school, work, mental health, basically little bits of a lot of important things. being with him is soothing for my heart.

he agreed to go actually paint pottery with me, not messing it up next time. we laughed.

he told me he wanted to be superman. i told him he already was.

and then he ended the evening by giving me a small piece of advice: to take it slow and to take care of my mental health. to which he added, singing: "but what do i know?" (like, y'know, that ed sheeran song that i'm in love with because of him, the one i listened to all the way home because of him, etc.)

and then i stopped at taco bell and got the standing order for thursday's for my sister and her james, and i sat down in front of the science channel and did some math review of precalc that i hadn't seen in almost a decade. i did pretty well for not really remembering a whole lot.

and then i went through and started organizing myself via my new planner and by color-coding the things now in it because i have colored pencils to do stuff in and it's GREAT. purple is church, blue is math, green is work, red is keeping track of my period, and the pink and orange have yet to be assigned. orange will likely be physics. pink will probably be personal stuff, like appointments and social activities unrelated to church or work. yeah.

and now i'm in bed, so excited that i'm doing math again because if there's anything i've missed, it's the intuition of doing math and the satisfaction of always being right.

(it reminds me of the times i took the SATs, the second time of which i took to improve my reading and comprehension scores. both of those unfortunately went down. my math score, however, went up. to 790. out of 800. i'm still impressed. i probably could have gotten into MIT with that. and with my gpa of 4.23 and place of 14th in my graduating class. and with calc 1 already taken once and an absurd enthusiasm for math and science. i would've fit in perfectly.)

anyway, yeah. i can't wait to get back into objective analytics like math and science in an academic setting instead of teaching myself.

[mychaoticdiary]

January, 5th, 2021

Dear Diary,

Last night didn’t end well but not for the reasons I thought it wouldn’t. I prepare to tell my best friend the bad news, I give her the option to opt out of the conversation before it starts I text her that it’s very bad news and that if she can’t handle it now I won’t hold it against her, times are hard, there’s death everywhere and I can understand if bad news right now is just too much. She reassures me she’s here for me and wants to talk, so I ask her if we should do a phone call or a facetime and then 30 minutes go by before she texts back, her brother came by for a visit she can’t do a phone call right now. I seethe with anger. Not only is it lockdown from Covid so he shouldn’t be visiting in the first place but her house is large, her brother visits often, as my best friend of a decade I have trouble understanding why can’t just tell her brother to step out for a few minutes so when she says ‘I’m anxious could you just tell me what’s going on?’ I let my anger get the better of me and instead of gently telling her I type out ‘my cats are dying.’ It’s blunter than I’d usually be with her, she cries easily and I know it but I can’t will myself to care. I’ve done nothing but cry. I wish I could be more surprised but I’m not we’ve drifted apart this past year. There was a time where I said I was sick and she walked in a snow storm to see me to give me honey and lemons. There’s been many times we’ve been there for each other like no other but the past year and so that seems to have vanished. I need to do something, anything. I recently watched Julien Solimita make a lentil loaf, I have lentils. I get up and start cooking, cutting up vegetables before they go bad in my fridge. I don’t have onions but I’m crying.  As things cook I see my cat go to the litter in the bathroom, I don’t dare even move to make a noise that might scare her off, the oven is about to hit temperature and beep loudly to let me know, I unplug it before it has a chance. I desperately try to hear something, anything but it’s silent and she leaves. I get ready to be disappointed as I go over to the litter and grab the scooper to check but there’s something in here.  I know I should be happy but my bodies been so dragged down to the ground it takes me an hour before I can even begin to hope that maybe things are going to be okay, during this confusing time I put the lentil loaf together and shove it into the oven.  My sweet girl seems a little better, she wants to play and rolls onto her back to let me tease and pat her tummy. My mom gets home after a long day of work and I tell her that I think she pooped. As the words come out of my mouth they get faster and faster, I’m talking over myself, interrupting my own words to get out about poop.  I have the sudden need to go for a drive, I want fresh air, I want to go get myself a soda from a gas station, I later realize I want my normal routine because my cat pooped and that was normal.  She indulges my need to drive and we go out, I feel like I’m filled with air, not quite emotions but air, I don’t feel extremely happy, I don’t feel extremely sad, I don’t feel numb but I feel full like I’ve taken the deepest breath I can and it stays in my chest.  We talk about the fact this is a good thing but our expectations do need to be reasonable, we’re not out of the woods yet but it’s nice to see a small clearing in them. The talk includes many things, many sad but still I don’t feel sad but I feel like I’m deflating which isn’t bad. It feels like she’s helping me let out the air in my chest, I thank her many times on our drive, I love my mom, she’s the best mom for me.  When we get home I go to bed and for the first time in the New Year I sleep and I sleep in late, until 11 instead of the 6 AM I have been stuck with.  I’m greeted with the news my mom thinks she’s pooped again in the liter, cat poop has never been such good news.  I give the cats food and though I sigh as I don’t see them race to eat it I relax a little as later on my sweet girl takes a few bites, that’s more than before and that’s a start. My senior cat isn’t eating now though so we call the vet and get the same medicine for her as we did for my other cat.  My senior cat is no stranger to medicine, when we first got her she was so sick we had to foster her first just to afford all the medicine she needed so she takes the syringe of antibiotics like a champ.  The day feels good and I feel less angry so I text my best friend back, she’s sent me a few texts about condolences and saying I’m a good cat mom and I’ve been ignoring them. I know she doesn’t mean to be hurtful at all so I swallow my anger down and text her back that we should talk on one of her days off, that she’s my best friend and I love her, we’ll see how this talk goes tomorrow.  Me and my mom are cautiously happy, we both know better than to get ahead of ourselves with happiness, we’ve both had the rug pulled out from under us before, we’re well aware either or both of our cats could die regardless of this turn towards the better. But we both notice the perk in my cats steps as she moves around the house more once again and goes back to her playful ways.  We go for another drive, my period has reared it’s ugly head and I need midol so we stop in a Walmart. We don’t often go shopping due to Covid but this one is in the middle of no where so it’s not very busy. We wander the isles looking for anti rust paint for our van and midol, I stop and look at the yarn section, my mother encourages me to buy some. I don’t think I should, the only money I have is donated for the cats but she tells me I’m allowed to treat myself after things have been so rough and it’s not very expensive so I do. She’s right, it feels nice.  When she heads to work I don’t feel as stuck with doom and gloom as the previous days, I don’t feel like I’m waiting for my cats to drop dead at any minute things just feel normal for a little.  Corpse Husband streams and it’s a nice way to eat up my time, I’m really excited for his song with Machine Gun Kelly, I secretly hope he’ll do something with YungBlud too.  The day continues, I put out another spoonful of food for the cats, they still don’t eat right away but I have to remind myself that one is just starting to get better and the other just started medicine to get better today.  My dear friend who got me gifts yesterday messages me crying, her mother is terrible, she feels jammed into a corner with no escape and I feel horrific over the fact I don’t know how to help. I offer my best advice and it’s not very good. I talk to my mom, to see if she knows anyone but we don’t know anyone where she lives, she’s disgusted at the way my friends mom is treating her. We both just wish there was something we could do. I message my friend again, with maybe my worst best advice to take money from her monstrous mother and run to Austin, I don’t know if it’s good advice but it’s all I can come up with. That and that I love her so dearly, I want her to know I want nothing but the best for her and I’ll always be here but those words feel so tiny next to her problem, still I let her know. She hasn’t messaged me back, all I can do is hope for the best and be ready to talk when she needs. I love her.  I’m writing this at midnight now, my senior cat is struggling not painfully she is struggling. I worry for her because she’s so old. Where she was once my chubbiest dumpling I can see she’s now waning, her frame is getting bony and it has been for a while now. I’d remarked on it last year but since she had such an appetite and a diet approved by a vet I didn’t think much of it but now as she wanders around the house I worry. More than anything she’s changing than from who she normally is, usually if I put my hand down and motion for her she runs across the room to get pats already purring by the time she’s arrived but now a foot from me she merely stares at my outstretched hand. As I write this I try not to get too in my head, she’s sick right now just like my other sweet girl was but we’ve got medicine the way she’s acting right now doesn’t mean she’ll die...she could still make it and I need to remember that. It’s hard to do though.  She’s drinking from my other cats water and I try to be thankful as I dump it out afterwards, trying to stop any cross contamination.  I sit on the toilet and my sweet girl joins me, I now see her poop. It’s official in my mind. My senior cat comes in and sits in the tub, I can only hope that in a few days that the next time she comes in with me too it’s also to poop.  

[notmynostalgia]

lets get personal

i got my period in 5th or 6th grade, when i was 11-12 years old. previously, my only worries had been homework and a boy i liked, but not anymore. from that time until i was 20, it lasted 10 days. a third of every month for ten years i spent bleeding (now its 7 days, so a fourth of every month, as it probably will be for another forty years). the few days leading up to it i had bloating and pms acne, sending my self esteem plummeting, and the days of i had terrible cramps and lower back pain that took my breath away and left me so nauseous and exhausted that if the first day came while i was at school or volleyball practice, i had to leave so i could go home and curl up on my bed with hot packs on my stomach and back and a bucket nearby in case i did actually puke. my chest was so sore i couldnt sleep on my stomach. sometimes just talking felt impossible.

i wore pads, not tampons, because i didnt like the way tampons felt. they hurt going in and coming out. once on vacation when i was 13 or 14 we were going to the beach but id started my period on only the second day we’d been there, so my mom gave me one of her super-jumbo tampons, because apparently hers was really heavy too. sitting on the toilet taking it out was one of the most painful experiences i had ever had. i grit my teeth and held my breath until i couldnt anymore and then i was sweating all over and so fucking scared i wouldnt be able to do it. but i did, because i had too.

i was also terrified of toxic shock syndrome, which happens when you leave a tampon in for too long, and it can kill you.

those kinds of things dont happen with pads, but they’re really not good for a lot of other things. when you get up from bed in the morning, the first thing you do is go to the bathroom because theres a chance you bleed through or around your pad, even though you slept the whole night on one side with your legs clamped together. moving around when you sleep can shift how the pad fits and if it isnt positioned just right, you can bleed through your underwear, pajamas, and onto your sheet. if you were shorts to bed, you may wake up with bloody fingers from itching down there while still half asleep. that happened to me about three times before i realized what was happening. i had to use q-tips to get the dried, caked blood from under my finger nails, and now i wear pants to sleep in. in the morning, as you stand, gravity pulls the blood that was pooling somewhere still inside you since you were lying horizontally, and you feel acutely clumps of blood somewhat solidified like gel, pass through you. and there is nothing you can do about it. you cant hold it in. you just have to feel it and accept it like everything else that comes with having a period. sometimes, this is still happening when you go sit down on the toilet and blood gets on the waistband on your shorts or pants and the toilet seat and maybe the bathroom floor. you have to try and gauge when there is a pause in the blood flow, and youre never always right. so now you have to get a clean change of underwear and pants, but you cant put the ones around your ankles back on because youd get blood on you in other places. so you take them off and hobble back to your bedroom with your legs close together so you dont bleed on the floor and hope that none of your family happens to come around the corner and see you. you get back to the bathroom and lock the door. you put a fresh pad - which will only last about 4 hours (so 5-6 pads a day for the first 2-3 days, then 3-4 for the next two, then 2-3 for the next two, and 1 for the last day), if you sit still and do nothing - on your fresh underwear. also, and i dont know why, but youll probably have diarrhea for the first few days of your period too.

playing sports with pads isnt fun. in high school for volleyball games, i had to wear actual underwear, because pads literally, physically cant work with thongs, and then spandex shorts over the underwear because i didnt want to have underwear lines and also for another layer of protection in case of leaks, and then our uniform shorts. nothing about it was comfortable. and obviously, you cant swim while wearing a pad, so youd better be sure to plan beach/swimming trips so they dont fall anywhere near your period, if you can. but they will anyway, because until youre in your twenties, your period will be irregular. mine changed every month by a few days, sooner or later. and sometimes, you think its over, youll go a couple hours with nothing, a clean pad, but then theres more. another day or two. so you were supposed to go hiking today but your period came early or started late and its just so much physical and emotional labor to try and deal with being a person while bleeding from your vagina and every complication that comes with it (like the pressure from a car seatbelt digging into your stomach even though its hardly touching you, like estimating how many pads youll need for the day and remembering to pack them, like having to change what you were going to wear to something loose-fitting like sweatpants and dark to conceal potential leaks) that you cancel.

in college, i played volleyball, and we had a strength and conditioning trainer we saw twice a week, but i continued to train with him for another year after volleyball ended. when i would start my period or be on the first, second, or third day, i would text him and say i wasnt feeling well or had the flu, because i wasnt sure how he’d react to me not coming in because i was on my period. for some reason, its embarrassing to have a period. we have to lie, we have to have good names like “aunt flo” “ketchup” ”monthly visitor”, even among fellow women. in high school and even college, i would have to wait until the bathroom was empty to open my pad because the packaging was so loud and i didnt want anyone to know, and sometimes that made me late for class or practice. we make sure no one’s looking when we pull “sanitary items” from our backpacks or bags; i would wear a sweatshirt and stick the pad up my sleeve so no one would notice. i would be in so much pain during class that i’d taken six midol over the course of the school day but still have to hold my stomach and try to think of anything else that if, if a teacher asked what was wrong or why i wasnt paying attention i would just say i didnt feel good. and your entire life if you show any emotion that a man deems part of an inappropriate reaction, youll have to deal with him thinking or asking if you’re on your period.

in the shower, you bend over and watch the blood run into the drain. youll have to wait for a pause in the flow to get out, dry off and hobble quickly to the toilet. sometimes youll sit down and see pink water droplets on the inside of your thighs where blood mixed with the shower water. you wipe them off before putting underwear on a new pad for the night.

the day before you start your period you might have just done laundry, but it came unexpectedly and theres blood all over you underwear and maybe your shorts or pants. do you waste the water and wash those two garments now in hope that they dont stain, or do you throw them in the laundry basket to be washed in a couple days with a full load?

when it comes to work, if im on my period for my fast food job, i cant call off, and we’re so short staffed that ill never find someone to cover me, so i work. at my desk job, im lucky enough to be able to sit with a hot pack and a cup of red raspberry leaf tea so i can make it through.

men will never know what its like to have a period and pretend that you dont.

[get-the-treasure]

school log #4

9-11-17

another school log two days late???? iconic

Hour 1 (AP Bio): we basically just took notes on what hypothesis, evidence, and conclusions were for like the entire time.

Hour 2 (ROPE): wrote a page and a half because i suddenly had a lot to write about but then i got stuck again for the last 15 minutes or so nd i ended up just listening to music and choosing more songs to put on my daily music blog.

Hour 3 (Homegroup/3B): i can’t really remember tbh. maybe i should do these the day of smh

Hour 4 (English 12): it was an autobiography work day and eren, sammy, ariel, nd i ended up just like talking the whole time tbh lmaooo

Hour 5 (Free): eren and i went downstairs (well eren came way after me) and bean was down there but i didn’t see she had earbuds in so when i came down saying ‘wassup slut’ she didn’t hear me nd she didn’t look like she was in a comfortable position so i was like omg what if she hurt her knee and cANt move so i went over to her like hey r u dead nd i tapped her side w my foot like barely because like as soon as my foot tapped her side she jumped up nd scared the shit out of me. she was fine she just fr was low-key sleeping nd had nap scars on her face. i did my gov work cause i slacked and didn’t do it the night i got it lol its the 4th day nd I’m like this already what a mess.

Lunch: i can’t rlly remember we ate i guess nd talked

Hour 6 (Free): also not quite sure. i remember tho found out i got my period which i had prepared for (because i was like well last time it ended like the day before the set concert so like the 17th so then it probably started the 13th?? but my periods always are off by a little so i prepped a few days ahead nd caught that shit BOOM) so i wasn’t stained or nothing but now that i KNEW i was bleeding i felt the pain nd wanted to die kind of rlly. i was like no sammy i don’t want a idol I’m not a pussy I’m gonna hold out

Hour 7 (Government): i was dying the whole time. we took notes nd i felt so sick but i had to keep it together to get notes. we have a quiz on friday so i should study for that.

Hour 8 (Advanced Drawing/Painting): i was still in a lot of pain but this hour i asked sammy form idol nd thankfully they kicked in after like half an hour so i was able to walk to my car (which my dad always parks 500 miles away) without pain for the most part. midol rlly only works for me for like 15-20 minutes which was just enough time to get in the car. dn then die. my dad nd i discussed going to a movie tomorrow (today cause I’m typing it on the 12th)

after school: my dad used kik to send me his credit card information??? i bought the tickets but the only theater open w 3 spaces together (since were dragging liam along) is the 3:05 one nd school gets out around 2:30 so we gotta book it. but its okay because i checked (tomorrow morning aka today morning lol) nd theres only 6 other seats taken out which means only 4 more ppl got seats that i hadn’t seen before, and they’re all much closer to the front than we are so I’m not concerned about there being lots of people.