#which still is very little i mean we still have 70% to write

[newtness532]

my study sessions consist of 60% singing along to songs, 15% of staring at the wall, 15% looking up random things or getting up to do unrelated stuff and maybe 10% actually studying and then i have the audacity to wonder why it takes me so long to finish anything

[mpchev]

Update on fanbinding dissertation: binding the dissertation itself!

After many days and nights of writing and wrangling footnotes and proofreading (where I couldn't convince my laptop that yes, I meant textualisation, not sexualisation), 'twas time to bind the beasts! In three copies, no less! Which I approached with way too much confidence from my one fanbind experience, and came with many fun little surprises due to the format guidelines I had to follow 🤡

This is going to be a long one, so here's my happy unfocused mug to confirm that it all ends well:

First pickle: The typesetting. I absolutely loved typesetting fanfic, but the dissertation had to be A4 (way less fun, boo-hoo), one-sided, with every page numbered. Did you know that LibreOffice won't let you add blank pages and only number the non-blank ones, without skipping numbers? In order to print signatures I could fold into one-sided pages, only numbered on the right-hand pages, I ended up switching to landscape orientation and including the equivalent of a blank page in the left margin.

Second pickle: The imposing, which I couldn't figure out using the amazing bookbinder with my weird landscape 2-page layout. I finally gave in and rearranged all the pages manually, which looked like p. 1 on the recto / p. 10 on the verso, then p2/p9, p3/p8, p4/p7, p5/p8, p6/p7. And because there was no way I was paying print-in-colour prices for all of this, I further split the manually imposed pages into two files, one for the greyscale printer (cheaper) and one for the colour printer (highway robbery). Still came up to ~£70, just for printing.

Very glad I went in chunks of 10 for the signatures, it made both the math and the folding using sheets from two different piles much easier, highly recommend (if for some absurd reason you also want to bind one-sided numbered pages in folded signatures).

Third pickle: Linear time. Had planned on having so much time to print and bind this thing, but kept writing and rewriting and proofing and oops! It was due in less than 24 hours and it was still not out of the laptop. So.

22/09/24, 6pm: Got to the library, started printing.

6.45pm: Found another printer where all the paper was the same shade of white, started printing again 🤦‍♂️ (kept the the misprints to use as scrap paper when glueing)

7.30pm: Started folding the 150 sheets of paper (3 x 100-page dissertation, 2 pages per sheet). Went from the last episode of The Magnus Protocol, to an episode of Welcome to Night Vale, to deciding restart The Magnus Archive, which felt almost poetic.

9pm: Headed back home, trimmed the edges (with a borrowed guillotine), folded the endpapers, stabbed everything. Lack of pictures to be blamed on my inability to mess with linear time, and the eventual sleep deprivation.

10.30pm, I think? Started sewing the signatures together, again with Supernatural (which I started rewatching when I submitted my first dissertation assignment in mid-May, and finished 2 days after submitting the dissertation itself, again, such poetry).

2am, probably? Tipped the endpapers and glued cheesecloth over the spines. Somehow figured out where to set the three textblocks to dry (I don't have a press). Sadly gave up on sewing on (or glueing) headbands, because time.

3am-ish: Cut the missing cover pieces out of millboard (had already cut 4 of 6 covers, since I knew it had to be A4), measured the spines of the three textblocks and cut those as well.

???am: Did some math, because sure, that's the right time for that. Cut the bookcloth to size, glued the cover pieces on the bookcloth. Remarkably only messed up the measurements on one of them! That means one of the copies has a millimetre of millboard showing in the inside corners of the back cover, but not enough time/bookcloth/millboard to redo it, onward we go!

Way past dawn: Took a break for food while the covers somewhat dried. Cased the three textblocks in the three covers, with the endpapers bubbling, which took me by surprise since it was the same paper and same glue I had used for the fanbind without any problem. I'm now thinking that bigger book = more time needed to apply the glue = endpapers getting warped, but I was so exhausted by this point that who knows. Again, no time to redo it!

9.30am: Stacked the dissertations under the heavy reference books I used to write the dissertation. Toute est dans toute hein. Went to bed while they (mostly) dried.

2.30pm: Woken up by my neighbour's dj set. Eventually put all that hard work in a tote and walked to school to hand it in at 4.30pm.

Fourth and last pickle: The titling. Couldn't find paper long enough to do a half-dust jacket like I did last time. Had big cutout plans, ran out of time and couldn't finish testing those. Also had some thicker textured paper I thought of cutting and glueing to the cover as a title card, but it turned out too thin and was warping. Finally resigned myself to submitting it with a blank cover, but one of my teachers asked if I would mind adding the title on with metallic markers to make it easier to identify (one copy will eventually be on the shelf at the Institute), and I'm SO HAPPY with how it turned out. Metallic markers. Why didn't I think of that. (I did, however, think about dressing appropriately for the occasion.)

So, is it possible to print and bind 3 books in less than 24 hours? Yes! Am I glad I did it? Also yes, very satisfying, love being extra! Would I do it again? God no, I've been sleeping for two weeks and I still haven't recovered. Can't wait to start binding something else though, so I guess it wasn't that bad.

That's it! That's over! Aaaaaah! Now waiting for the grade and comments, and hopefully soon I'll be able to share the content as well.

I'll also try to post some more about the research/writing process itself, somewhere between the late nights reading international treaties on income tax and the early mornings spent figuring out how to apply for a phd next.

Thank you so much to everyone who followed along, this was way more fun than I ever could have hoped!

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2023: the show of unfairness and the triumph of people’s hearts

My god, this year left me exhausted.

It’s 1:30 am, the Eurovision Grand Final just ended and I am starting to write this post now, because I need some time to calm myself before going to bed. And maybe putting down some thoughts about this year will help me find some peace - at least for a couple hours.

This year has not been what was supposed to be, starting from the show and ending with the winner.

But let’s start from the beginning.

______________________________

Ukraine: robbed of their own show

We all know Ukraine couldn’t host Eurovision in their country because of the war, so they asked the UK to do that.

And the UK tried to be a good host. They reminded us of the reason why Ukraine couldn’t do it, they tried to call Ukrainian artists and make the show about them... only to systematically forget it two minutes later and start acting as if they won and this was their show.

I hope now you understand why last year I said to not give them power over anything. The UK has a tiny little problem called “massive ego” and if you give them a little crumb, they will immediately scarf the whole cake down.

This year should’ve been 70% Ukraine themed and 30% UK themed. What we had instead was the other way around: the UK gave us a tiny little interval show in the semifinals about Ukraine, then a massive show all about the UK.

The Gran Final has been the icing on this disgusting cake. It started with a bang, featuring all of our favourite Ukrainian artists in the span of five minutes: Tina Karol (I had no idea she was Ukrainian, what a nice surprise!), goddess Verka, my beloved Go_A with The Only Queen That Matters, aka Kateryna Pavlenko. And, of course, our favourite winners: the Kalush Orchestra. Man Carpet is still an icon and I still wonder what the singer sees behind that pink hat, but I don’t care. It’s perfect, it’s great, I want this but 200x more. I want them to steal the show, I want them in all interval acts. But no worries, I’m sure they will definitely appear more during the final. I mean, there’s no way the UK called them just to appear for 20 seconds, right? Right?

Oh sorry, my bad. I forgot this isn’t Ukraine’s show, this is UK’s show. We should definitely have Sam Ryder in the interval act and we should definitely make it all about English songs. I mean, it’s not like there are four of the most beloved Ukrainian artists in Liverpool. Let’s make it all a huge masturbation session of the UK instead.

I apologize if my metaphor offended someone, but this is what I felt while watching the UK celebrating itself. Like... can’t you do this in a private room? Do I really have to watch it? This is just one step below Portugal’s show, which showed a massive ego as well and tortured me for three nights straight, by repeating how cool they were and how nice they were and how I would’ve done a great choice visiting them.

But even if that was torture, at least Portugal was the winner of the previous year, not a host masturbating over the fact they are allowed to host a show they didn’t win.

The only choice I fully approve of in this show is the postcards idea: that was very elegant and respectful and I want to thank the person who thought about it. The cards show Ukraine’s beautiful places, UK’s beautiful places and every country’s beautiful places. It’s all beautiful and it’s a great way to both honor Ukraine and emphasize UK’s hosting role, since it looks almost like the UK acts as a “connection” between Ukraine and every other country.

Unfortunately for us, this is the last proof of elegance we will see for the rest of the show.

______________________________

Danemark and Poland: robbed even before starting

Do you remember Danemark’s and Poland’s entries? I know, me neither. Bland, forgetful, two huge balls of nothing.

Well, I have a good news and a bad one. The good one is that Danish and Polish people are not insane and their musical tastes are actually way better than this. The bad news is that the two entries we got (Bejba and Tiktokkid) were not supposed to win their country’s competition, because the public’s favourites were different. But, like, VERY different.

Same thing happened last year for Spain, but at least Chanel was able to put on a great show - even if her song was boring. Danemark and Poland didn’t have that either: one gave us a meme, the other gave us nothing. Disappointing.

So let’s clean Danemark’s and Poland’s names, by listening to the artists they were actually supposed to bring. Let’s start with Danemark and please, tell me if the tiktok kid is better than this (if you dare):

And before you think: “oh my gosh, this could’ve been a great entry for Danemark!”, please listen to what Poland was supposed to bring:

I love this song. I love this cute nice boy. I love the classical vibes. And when I played this song for my father, my 70-year-old father told me, with no hesitation: “Oh, this is way better than the other one!”.

So if a 70-year-old can recognize how good this song is, then there’s no generational gap and it’s not true that people are accustomed to the same boring stuff. If a song is good, is good. If a song is bland, is bland.

By now you probably already heard from Polish people about how the voting system of their competition was rigged and how Blanka won thanks to the power of nepotism. So our duty as Europeans (and as people with some fucking taste) is to stream Gladiator, listen to all of his songs and shower this boy with love because he needs to know the world loves him.

And for you all, Polish people: thank you for making us know about your true winner. He really looks like one and we love him too.

______________________________

Germany: robbed while trying

I really cannot understand why people keep hating Germany this much. Is it still because of WW2? What did they do, to deserve the bottom of the chart? I know it’s funny, I know it’s for the memes ah ah ah, but also... come on. Come. On. Are you really telling me that Poland was better than Germany? Are you really telling me that the UK was better than Germany?

I can assure you that if Sweden brought this exact same song, the jury would’ve given this song 300 points. But hey, ThE jUrY iS iMpArTiAl, right?

German people: I don’t know why the world hates you. I think you would’ve gotten more votes, if only the system wasn’t so stupidly rigged and forced everyone to choose one winner only, hoping to defeat the jury’s sheer power. Personally, I enjoyed your song and I enjoyed Lord of the Lost and I will definitely listen to more of their songs to add to my playlist.

However, I also understand your frustration. So you know what? Just go nuts. Choose whoever the fuck you want to represent your country, attend Eurovision whenever you want and do whatever you want, give us insane shit and amazing stuff. You will be treated the same either way, so why give a fuck? Have fun showing your insane side, I will support you 100%.

______________________________

Italy and Israel: what did they ever do to deserve these places?

As an Italian, I am honored people gave so many votes to Italy. Seriously, thank you all, nice to know people appreciate our singers.

But also: why so many votes? Why? I know Mengoni is a good singer, he has a great voice and if this was a real singing competition he would’ve probably deserved to win.

But since Eurovision is not a singing competition, why all these points? Were people really so in love with this ballad? Why? What does he have I cannot understand?

Even more important: why Israel, with their stupid unicorn song, got all these votes? Why? Is it because she’s good-looking? Seriously? Are we still stuck thinking with our genitals, instead of using our brains? I thought Europe moved past the need of thinking with genitals only and started developing some good fucking taste.

Or did her amazing “dance moves” get the public? Ok, she’s very flexible... but do I really really have to remind you of Chanel? A small dance segment is really worth so many points, when last year we had someone who was able to sing AND dance as she did for the entire song? I didn’t even like Chanel, but I am mature enough to recognize that THAT was a show, while the unicorn lady did nothing more than a small dance. Definitely not worth 185 public votes.

At least I know that my country didn’t go insane and the true points (aka the public’s points) didn’t go to the unicorn but to Moldova. Thank god, we are still able to recognize what’s good.

______________________________

Finland: the real winner

When Eurovision started, I was sure Czechia would’ve been the winner. However, their performance wasn’t enough to grant them victory.

Finland, however, had everything a winner needs. And now I will explain to you why, because I love this funky green man and you should love him too.

1) “A little man from Vantaa”

Käärijä is a rare gem, not just for Eurovision, but in general. He’s a simple, genuine, silly guy, who comes from a city few people knew before. He doesn’t speak English too well, but he tries and fails in comically sweet ways. He’s a huge fan of Rammstein, so he’s a man of culture. He became besties with Bojan from the Slovenian band Joker Out and their bromance has been the best part of this Eurovision: these two share one single braincell and I love them for this.

But, most of all, he’s humble. He never considered himself above all others, even after his victory. He knew right from the start that it would’ve been a battle between him and Loreen and yet, he never grew arrogant about it. He always talked about their rivalry in funny ways, through memes and by treating her nicely. But he also never underestimated her: he always put his whole self into every performance, knowing full well he had to give everything, to reach the public’s hearts.

And he did. He reached the public’s hearts and like many others all over the world, I also love this little man. He’s genuine, he’s honest, he’s a fashion icon (Finland changes their flag to green when), his dancers are funky and nice like him. You look at him once and all you can think is: “I want to protect him at all costs”. It’s just impossible to hate this man.

2) His song is a banger

Not only his song is a fusion of three genres (industrial metal, hyperpop and hip-hop/rap), so he’s already serving you three songs in one, but the language he used is Finnish.

I’ve heard Finnish people saying that they never used their language because it’s “too weird”. People, that’s exactly because it’s weird that you should use it! You have this gem and you hide it to us?!

If you don’t know why Finnish is so great, please consider that while all other European languages are part of the Indo-European family, Finnish, Estonian and Hungarian are not. They are part of a completely different family (the Uralic languages).

That means they have nothing similar to any other European language. They are something completely different and new, a whole new world to explore. And they’re here, in our continent!

In addition to that, Finnish is an agglutinative language, which means words are formed by stringing together morphemes. How fucking cool is that? I love this kind of language!

As someone who studied English, French, German and Russian, Finnish is something that gets my attention. I can recognize similarities between Germanic, Slavic and Italic languages and I love them, but Finnish is an unexplored world. It’s made of sounds that well, sound familiar even if they’re not. It’s a constant surprise, you know?

Also, I love that it’s a language full of vowels because it makes me think of my own mother tongue (Italian). It’s a bit like feeling at home, even if our languages have nothing in common <3

3) The best performance of Eurovision 2023

I love the Croatian daddies like the next person (and I’m glad the public gave them the top 10 because they deserve it), but Käärijä’s performance had everything: it told us a story (i.e. how Käärijä slowly emerges from behind his barriers to join the party), he gave us the best stupid dance moves and there’s even a family-friendly human centipede. What else do you need, to start dancing?

Also, another shoutout to his dancers, because I live for those shocking pink dresses and for their immensely creepy expressions. And I live for the public always welcoming them with screams: they deserve it.

I know you already enjoyed it 200 times, but you know what? Let’s fucking destroy the views of this video and let’s watch it again. And also, let’s notice how much the public enjoys it. How much they screamed, how they sang with him, how they enjoyed this party.

Even without knowing Käärijä, you can feel he put his whole self into this. And the public felt it too.

And the final result was astonishing: he got 376 points from the public. It’s the second-highest public score, after Kalush Orchestra, who got 439 points.

If you notice, Käärijä’s percentage is even higher than Kalush Orchestra’s! And such a high result means one thing and one thing only: the public has chosen its winner. He is the winner. People are sovereign and people’s will has been very clear about it. So when I say he’s the winner, it’s not because I want to indulge him: it’s because it’s the fucking truth.

Also, please notice the kind of songs the public chose as their top 3 favorites: songs with nothing mainstream and native languages. All while the jury thinks what we want is the same boring shit we can hear on the radio 24/7.

______________________________

A painful evening

Let me start by making something clear: I don’t hate Loreen and I don’t hate Sweden. It’s not their fault if they win. They are just exploiting the situation, because they learned what the good formula is and keep using it over and over.

Loreen knows that if she sends another song that is just like all the others she made, she will get a high position. And now, thanks to yesterday’s victory, she knows she doesn’t even have to try. Why should she do something different, when doing the same thing twice made her win twice? Why try something different, why step out of her comfort zone? If she does the same thing, she can win. So she will keep doing the same thing.

Same goes for the entire country of Sweden. They learned that if they bring the most boring, generic pop song you can listen to on every radio on planet Earth, you will win. So, they will keep sending it. After all, a bland pop song is what the world is more accustomed to, so why change? Why do something different, when they can be teacher’s pet and always get a high score? This isn’t being stupid, this is being clever.

But is it elegant and fair too? Oh honey, absolutely not. This is the exact opposite of what elegance and fairness are.

On Saturday evening, when we reached the voting part of the show, the crowd literally CHEERED AND SANG Käärijä’s name or “Cha Cha Cha”. Multiple times.

Once the public clearly states who they want to win, then the competition is over. When the consensus is unanimous, there’s no competition anymore. The winner is already here. Everything else is just white noise and bureaucracy.

That’s what I felt, while I was forced to keep listening to a bunch of people loudly kissing Sweden’s ass. The public had already decided, we already have a winner. Why are we still wasting time?

And if forcing us to keep listening to this pitiful charade was not enough, the hosts decided to lose that shred of elegance that was still left on this joke of a show and not only shushed the public all time but even said “just ignore everyone”, as if their voices didn’t really matter. It’s not like this is a music competition and the public is the final receiver of said music, after all.

I don’t know you, but I don’t like to see the sovereign public being silenced and told they do not matter, all while a bunch of people takes the decisions for them. Maybe the Brits are accustomed to being silenced because an old rich man has to decide for them, but other countries don’t work like that. Like, you know, the one they’re hosting the competition for.

There was nothing democratic about Saturday evening. There was nothing fair in silencing the public and pretending they haven’t chosen their winner one hour ago, because teacher’s pet had to win again.

Do you really think Sweden deserved this victory more than Finland? Do you really think that a country that won six times needed to add this victory to their list, so they can say “ah ah we won as many times as Ireland”? Or just because they can do their stupid ABBA anniversary next year? Is this the reason why we choose our winner, now? The past glories of a country? Well, then in 2048 is the anniversary of Dana International’s winning song, let’s all go to Israel! And in 2056 we’ll go to Finland, because it’s the anniversary of Lordi’s winning. And in 2071 will be 50 years from the Maneskin’s victory, so let’s come back to Italy.

What, does that sound ridiculous? Tell that to the jury, then.

I feel immensely sorry for the Finnish people, because I read online how much this victory could’ve meant for them. This could’ve been so important, such a good chance to shine for a country that considers their language “too weird” and who hasn’t won in 17 years. And since they are stuck between that ticking bomb that is Russia and the always perfect Sweden, they really needed something that gave them more positive attention.

And it broke my heart even more to see Käärijä suffering. He even apologized to his nation. He did something amazing and he still apologized. He literally won and apologized for not winning. That’s unfairness to its finest.

And if all of this is not enough, the results of the public’s vote came out and oh, look, not a single country gave 12 points to Sweden, while almost every country gave 12 points to Finland. Wow, who would’ve fucking guessed that teacher’s pet won because of the teacher.

Again: does that seem fair and democratic to you?

______________________________

Oligarchy masqueraded as democracy

Let’s do a little bit of math, shall we?

Each national jury consists of five people + one backup juror. They supposedly vote for the best singer and performance- AHAHAH great joke, very funny.

But let’s not focus on this, now: let’s focus on numbers.

37 countries participated this year. So 37 x 6 = 222. The jury is made up of 222 people in total.

The entire population of Europe is around 451 million people, but let’s keep it low because Eurovision isn’t watched by all Europeans. Let’s take just the number of views on the Youtube streaming of the Grand Finale: 9.5 million people. Let’s round up to 9 million, okay?

Okay, so now we have 222 people on one side and 9 million people on the other. Let’s pretend that less than half of them voted at least one time.

Okay, now look me straight in the eyes and explain why the votes of 222 people should have the same weight as the votes of 4 million people. Please, explain to me how democratic this decision is, can’t wait to hear it.

But you know what? Even if it was 1 million voters only, that wouldn’t have been fair either. In no universe is fair to put one million voters on the same level as 222 voters.

There’s only one possible scenario in which this is fair: if Eurovision was a talent show specifically centered around performances and voices, with a jury made of vocal teachers and choreographers, and all I have to do is passively watch it on my couch.

But from the moment you gave the public the power to choose who the winner could be, then why do the votes of all the people from Europe (and Australia) have the same weight as what 222 people decided?

This isn’t a democracy. This is an oligarchy masquerading as a democracy: a bunch of people decides what you should like, basing their decision on their own interests. And you have no way to oppose them, unless you focus all your votes on one single artist, hoping it would defeat the one the jury chooses.

But this deprives Eurovision of the competition aspect. It’s not a competition if I have to endure a tug-of-war against the jury. It’s not a competition if I am forced to give all of my votes to one artist only, instead of spreading them out to all my favorites. And even in that case, basically all of Europe should vote for that specific artist to try and overcome the sheer power the jury has. Again: does this sound democratic to you?

Now you may say: but the jury is made of experts. Oh, you mean the same experts that proved multiple times they base their votes on politics, who their neighbor is and who can corrupt them better? Or do you mean the same experts that in the past made their choice even without listening to the songs?

The truth is that we have 222 people who can easily be influenced by anything and their power is as strong as the power of 4 million people at least. Four million people, who got invested and followed the entire show from start to finish, if I may add. Please, tell me about the fairness of this system again.

And before you say “but Eurovision is a music competition and we need experts”... sorry, but no. According to Wikipedia, the jury was present before televoting was born, but once televoting was extended to all competing countries (1997 ca.), the jury was no more. It came back only in 2009, with this unfair compromise of 50/50 between jury ad public votes.

So there was a period of time in which there wasn’t a jury and in that period we had the first win for Estonia, Turkey, Latvia, Greece, Finland, Serbia and Russia. How weird that, once the jury isn’t there, other nations have a chance to win too.

The thing is: Eurovision isn’t a simple music competition. It’s more like a window. A window where anyone can have their chance to shine. No matter if you’re from a well-known country and everyone knows who you are or if you’re from a tiny piece of land in the middle of nowhere and all you can do is speak your native language: if you have the right combination of song+performance+voice, you can win.

And it’s beautiful we have this window, because it allows us to see something we’ve never seen before: rock bands, silly songs, folk songs and straight-up weird songs. In Eurovision, you don’t have to listen to just the same generic bland song, but you are allowed to listen to different artists and different cultures - and if you like them, you are free to choose your winner, no matter how not mainstream it is.

And we Europeans need this. We need to celebrate the diversity of Europe and embrace them. We need to see people from different countries hanging out, having fun and becoming best friends. For a continent that has always had (and still has) a problem with wars, we need something that allows us to look at each other and not see a piece of land to conquer, but a place full of life and culture to learn about.

And since we pride ourselves to be the continent where democracy was born, let’s put this democracy in the show we’re so proud of. Do we really need the jury vote? Do we really need the vote of this bunch of people? Okay, let’s have them. But it’s not acceptable to give them the same weight as the public’s vote. 50/50 isn’t acceptable anymore. 20/80 is fairer. I’m feeling nice, we can even do a 30/70. It’s just not acceptable that 300 people should have power over millions over something those same millions will enjoy. As always, the public is sovereign.

And if the public’s taste is shit, at least we will be free to blame ourselves for something we brought unto ourselves - and not feel sick and angry over something others forced upon us.

Or everything can stay the same and the 50/50 system will keep going. But at least, be honest enough to not waste everyone’s time, by pretending the public can do something more than watch what a bunch of people decide for them. Do not pretend to be righteous and democratic, when you’re not.

______________________________

The triumph of people

This finale drained me. If it were just a little fairer, I would’ve been thrilled to see Luxembourg coming back after years. But right now I don’t feel like watching next year’s show. I know it will probably be amazing, because Sweden is very good at hosting. But I don’t want to see them masturbating over how good they are and how much they deserved to win - even if they didn’t win.

And, honestly, I don’t care about ABBA either. I don’t give a damn about them, nor about their anniversary. I’m definitely not looking forward to that either.

I will listen to the songs as always, then I might give it a try and watch the semifinals. It depends on how bitter my grudge will be, after one full year. If it will still be very bitter, I will probably spend my time better, by listening to the songs more times, watching the performances and making my own personal final chart. I won’t have ABBA or funny interval acts, but I can try my best to make it enjoyable to read. And it won’t be a fucking charade, at least.

Sorry, but I will keep being bitter for some time. And if you feel bitter too, you have every right to be, no matter what people say. Your voice has been silenced and ignored and numbers don’t lie. It’s very understandable you feel bad.

But you know what you can do? Use your anger in a positive way. And no, that doesn’t mean sending death threats to Loreen. You can accuse Sweden of its lack of elegance and decorum if you want, but always be polite. Don’t be like some of them, who are such sore losers they had the guts to be angry at Finland because it didn’t give Sweden any public points. Bo-hoo, may I add.

What you can do instead is make some noise: ask for the jury to be abolished or for this shitty system to change. And, even more important, support your winners. A lot of amazing artists have been wronged this year, so shower them with love.

And send your love especially towards our winner. Stream Cha Cha Cha, check his other songs, shower him with love and support, make a statue for him in Vantaa, pay me a plane ticket because I need to tackle him in a hug and tell him how much the world loves him. Let’s show the world that he slaps, Finnish slaps and we want more of this.

Do you still need more Cha Cha Cha in your life? Good news: Lord of the Lost made a cover for Cha Cha Cha and OH MY GOSH it’s insanely good. It has a lot of Rammstein vibes, it’s cool and it slaps even harder. Check it out because it’s amazing!

Also because the German singer learned some Finnish, just to spell every word correctly and, according to the Finnish people in the comment section, he did a great job. What a wholesome guy, I love and stan him and his band - and you should do the same, because they are amazing and they don’t deserve last place <3

And if you need more Käärijä in your life, there are amazing Youtube channels with great collections of his moments, like Eurovision Is Ambition and Uni Dash Corn. I especially suggest you see his bromance with Bojan - and speaking of him, another shoutout to Bojan! He’s such a nice, wholesome guy with great charisma, you cannot hate him. I am not head over heels for his song, but he’s so fucking wholesome, he deserves good things only.

And I also suggest you see how Käärijä has been welcomed in Helsinki. He has been welcomed like a fucking hero, a national treasure. And of course he was: he is the true winner after all, he deserved the welcome only winners get.

It’s a bit like he said in his apology: the better one won. And so he did.

You know, I think the only good thing that came out from this shitshow that was Eurovision 2023, is the people’s heart. People showed their kindness, their love, the best of humankind. We saw acts of friendship, we saw empathy and appreciation. The hug between Käärijä and Bojan, despite its sad meaning, is also a perfect example of what we all should be: kinder, softer, more empathetic, together, no matter how far and different our countries are.

In a way, I am happy that Ukraine’s message of unity was still carried out, even if indirectly and definitely not the way the UK wanted.

And in the end, the trophy isn’t so important: it’s just a piece of glass after all. And no piece of glass is worth the impact one little man from Vantaa left on so many people all over the world.

I know you will never read this post, but I wish you a lifetime of success, Käärijä. You have everything a winner needs and, in fact, you are one. So don’t be too hard on yourself, because the world still needs to show you how much it loves you. Take your time, relax, have fun and come back when you’re ready - just don’t leave us hanging for too much, ‘kay?

And you, Finnish people: please treat our beloved winner with love for us too. We will do our best from afar, so let’s be together on this as we should <3

[imfineitsfineeverythingsfine]

Communication and a Question for the Fandom

I started this off thinking I would end up with one conclusion and I actually found myself changing it by the end. I’ve read a lot frustration with the ineffable husbands and their lack of communication. “You don’t ever talk to each other" and "You never say what you’re really thinking.”

Now, that may be true. But also, throughout both seasons, we have seen repeatedly how they have been under surveillance too. 

Not just visual

But audio as well… Sign in Hell: Be Careful What You Say. But there’s more to the sign itself. I just can’t make it out. It’s not a sign that’s featured in the extras either, which is also interesting. 

What I could find though, in the The Devil in the Details X-Ray video was a little more of the sign, but I still can’t make out what the rest of it says:

Which brings in my Question for the Fandom. If anyone else is able to make out rest of this, I’d be interested. (This was around the 2:05 timestamp)

Moving on, that’s not the only *Clue* about their surveillance either. We know about Hell using electronics as a means of communication. They just cut in to whatever happens to be playing at the time, right? Radio, tv, Saturday Morning Funtime… so it would make sense that they’d use it to listen too. Is the Bookshop any safer, being an embassy for Heaven and all?

And it’s hard to pinpoint exactly how either side is listening in. We all remember this interaction but really… played as a joke but what if it wasn’t? Or maybe they just hadn’t figured out the specifics yet at that point.

Maybe there are certain “trigger words.” We see the reactions when Crowley is called “nice.” 

Crowley tells Aziraphale to “shut up” numerous times. We hear both them say “don’t say that” a lot. 

But also…

Closed captioning capitalized it just like that. Interesting. (If you haven’t watched the show with cc on, I recommend it)

What does this all mean? They just don’t talk to each other? Well, no. Not necessarily. We’ve also seen them find ways around directly speaking too.

Writing it down. (Which was promptly burned)

Aziraphale mouthing “Trust Me” during the bullet catch. Could they have had other short hands or code words? Emergency contingency plans? I personally imagine so. Side note: could they have also been using alcohol (laudanum) as cover for plausible deniability? 

“Safe spaces”? The backroom in the Bookshop that they kept going to for private conversations. We know they had alternative rendezvous locations in the first season too – the old bandstand, the number 19 bus, and the British Museum café. 

The Final Fifteen. I don’t want to take away from the emotion of the scene and I think Season 3 (come on Prime!) give us the rest of the story. I have faith in Neil Gaiman (pun sort of intended). But I will propose that the kiss may have been not only Crowley’s plead but also a misdirect or signal or other way to communicate between the two that we have yet to understand. In the end, Aziraphale was able to get the Metatron to break and divulge that the next step of the Great Plan was the Second Coming…before even leaving Earth…which was pretty impressive in itself. Was Aziraphale then able to relay anything to Crowley before the elevator? Sendarya’s video here does a great job with that very question (and others).

Most experts agree that 70-93% of communication is nonverbal and when communicating emotions, applying the 7-38-55 rule. Meaning only 7% through spoken word, 38% tone of voice, and 55% through body language. So maybe they’re not doing so bad after all. Those are just my thoughts and we’ll just have to wait and see and hope.

[possessedopossum]

Why do people love to project their family issues into fictional women so much? [I need to bitch about the way fandom treats Caterina]

I've seen so happen to Leandra. You yell one (1) time at your child on screen and you're the worst mother in Thedas. Obviously women need to learn how to turn their emotions off when they have children and you can't express your negative feelings even if your other child had died a terrible violent death on your eyes 5 minutes ago. Btw you can't explain such feelings in a calmer "healthier" way either bc that would mean therapy speech and that the game has bad writing. No feelings for mothers, okay? They're robots.

Leandra haters walked so Caterina Dellamorte haters could run. While I get it that Caterina isn't beating child abuse allegations, Caterina's image in fan fiction is truly something else.

Since WHEN she is homophobic??? Since when she is racist??? Is there a transphobic line from her I somehow missed? Did she misgender Rook somewhere?

Caterina is a character of questionable morality and yet fandom insists on her being way worse than she already is. Please I beg you pay attention to the source material. She isn't 100% evil. Not only Teia makes it out alive after calling Caterina "nonna", we also learn that Caterina is secretly very fond of Teia. I wonder why.

Caterina doesn't beat the shit out of Lucanis and Illario just because she is an evil abusive control freak. She does so because that's what crow training is. She does so to ensure her last surviving family members continue to stay alive. She isn't throwing her fucking flip flops at Lucanis for bringing home a bad grade on his math assignment. Or just because she had a bad day at work.

If I had to judge her parenting skills, I would be more concerned with Caterina's favoritism and her treatment of Illario. The harshness of crow training has nothing to do with Caterina's personality. She isn't even the worst crow trainer. Whoever trained Zevran, Taliesin and Rinna didn't even care if they live or die. Caterina cared. Mistreatment of Illario is however 100% Caterina's fault.

I would also be concerned with the reasons of her favoritism. Is Lucanis actually better than Illario or is he somebody Caterina can project her grief for her dead daughter into? Her favorite daughter being Lucanis' mother seems too much to be a coincidence. And it paints Caterina in somewhat sympathetic light anyway. You can't grieve for somebody if you have never loved them in the first place.

I don't understand writing Caterina as a terrible (grand)mother-in-law for Rook who romanced Lucanis. There are zero cases of her being rude to Rook. She looked reasonable but stern enough to be the first talon in eight little talons. Ofc she's still hard to deal with and there may be conflicts but there are literally no reasons to believe she is a bigot. Boiling it all down to petty fights between her and Rook for who gets Lucanis looks pathetic. He is ~35, for fuck's sake. And she is what, at least 70? Caterina wouldn't have 8 grandchildren if she was so possessive. Rook is also a god-killer which is a great PR move for house Dellamorte, having not one but two god-killers.

The desire of some rookanis shippers to strip Lucanis of almost everything he is looks so off to me. Death IS his calling. He IS aware that his family isn't exactly perfect, he doesn't need Rook to tell him that. Why is it so hard to understand that people may love something and understand all its flaws at the same time?

The petty envy from some Rooks screams "pls somebody help me I'm very insecure when it comes to relationships and splitting affection" without characters' authors recognizing the envy for that it is. Why do you want Rook to be the center of Lucanis' life so bad? Why do you want to strip him of his love for his family, profession, his friendship with Neve? What will be left of him if you do so?

I'll wait some months before opening ao3 again. It did give me a thousand yard stare. Would like to hope that at least the mischaracterization will go away eventually...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for watching a movie as a family without including my dad? Writing it out, I think I know the answer, but this has still been bugging me.

Around Thanksgiving I (30s) visited home. It was also a trip to see for my mom (late 60s) for her birthday, so I was there for a few days longer than a Thanksgiving trip would normally account for. My brother (30s) and his wife (30s) visited for her birthday too. My dad (early 70s) was there as well. They've been married over 30 years. Originally I'd planned to take everybody out to see a movie as a birthday present for my mom...but it turned out there was literally nothing at the theater that my mom was interested in at all. The town is pretty small, and the options were limited. So instead, we started out with a nice dinner, and family board game run-through of a trivia game we all thought we'd have some fun with. My mom ended up winning, which is rare and was not deliberate, and it wrapped the game up way faster than we'd anticipated.

My dad immediately went back into the living room after the game ended, openly a little annoyed that mom had won a trivia game based on something he considers himself the family expert in. He watches old reruns of the show he's seen a million times on a loop every day, and it can be pulling teeth to get him to do anything else. It was just a fluke, but something the rest of us considered a pleasant surprise since none of us had expected she'd win. But he was annoyed. Given that it was still early, Mom suggested we find a movie to watch online, so we could all wind down before bed with something the whole family could enjoy.

Dad said no. Now this feels like important context: I...have a lot of problems with my dad. I love him, but he can be extremely emotionally immature. Downright verbally abusive at times. And very petty. I'm in therapy in no small part due to some of the insecurities he instilled in me over the years. I've worked hard to set basic boundaries with him. He also has multiple medical issues, and I'm pretty sure he has untreated depression and other mental health problems he refuses to acknowledge that contribute to him flying off the handle at a moment's notice. That, combined with the fact that my mom will 100% never, ever leave him, because she was raised in a very specific mindset that she's never been fully able to shake...means my brother and I usually have to grit our teeth when he starts ranting/yelling/complaining during a visit, or we'd just end up ruining the day for our mom. She's done so much for us, and we just wanted her to have a good visit. So, that's what I did for most of the trip. I breathed deep when my dad openly mocked my stutter, and refused to get in a fight about it. I stopped myself from getting visibly upset when he tried to feed my cat table scraps even when I told him the cat needs a special diet. On other days I tried to watch his old shows with him, and ignored the sexist comments he'd make about the female leads, all for the sake of keeping the peace.

But, it was Mom's birthday. And she wanted to watch a movie.

And Dad said no.

He refused to give up his marathon of old westerns from 60 years ago to watch a new movie with his family on the big tv in the living room.

My mom seemed disappointed, so I suggested we watch one on my laptop in the kitchen instead. Without my dad, if he really wanted to watch his show instead. She agreed, and my brother, his wife, my mom and I filed into the kitchen, sat in less-than-comfy chairs, and watched a fantasy heist film that I'd thought they would all enjoy. And they did. My brother was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the movie (I'd already vouched for it being good, none of the others had seen it previously) His wife kept making notes for her dnd campaign. My mom found it hilarious, and liked that some actors from another show she liked were in it.

My dad stayed in the living room, watching his marathon.

Partway through the movie, he came in and asked us what we were watching. We told him, and he passed through the kitchen for something he needed, then said that we were being too loud. More context: the kitchen is right next to the living room, but my dad turns the tv up so loud in there it can get physically painful to be in the room with him. He refuses to get hearing aides, and only recently relented on subtitles. He also has a habit of screaming at anyone who tries to talk for a long time when his shows are on and they're in earshot, even if they're in a different room. We thought he couldn't hear it over his tv, and so when he said something we said sorry and that we'd try to keep it down, but we could already barely hear it through the laptop speakers. We already had subtitles turned on to make sure we didn't miss anything. When we told him that, he got even more annoyed. He asked how we'd like it if he turned the tv up so loud we couldn't understand anything, then proceeded to go into the living room and do just that, just as I was trying to figure out how much more we could lower the volume without losing our whole experience. We called in that we were already turning it down, and he finally turned his volume back down as well. We finished our movie, turning the volume down during action scenes and up during speaking scenes so we could actually hear the dialog. We enjoyed the rest of the film, and then people started getting ready for bed, and my mom went to check on my dad. She told me a few minutes later that he was hurt that we'd watched the movie without him. That he felt left out. I told her that he'd had multiple opportunities to join us, and that is was his choice not to watch with us. And honestly, the fact that he wouldn't give up the real tv for a couple hours so she could have a birthday movie was really upsetting to me.

She still seemed to feel bad that he was left out, and I'm a little worried that he might've sulked for days afterwards, leaving my mom in an even more stressful environment after I left. Am I the asshole for insisting my mom get to watch a movie on her birthday? And would I be the asshole if I told my dad off for what I consider to be extremely selfish behavior?

Also before anyone asks, no, I'm not cutting him off. It's literally impossible to do that without pretty much cutting off my mom as well, and she absolutely doesn't deserve that. And yes, I've offered up my apartment as a place she can stay if she ever needs to. Repeatedly. She hasn't taken me up on it yet.

What are these acronyms?

[zenkindoflove]

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 21

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 488,773

3. What fandoms do you write for? ACOTAR (active), Crescent City (active), A Song of Ice and Fire (former), The Big Bang Theory (former), Twilight (former - not on AO3), That 70's Show (former - not on AO3).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  

The Pon Farr Hypothesis (Shenny, The Big Bang Theory)

The Sweet Vibrations Discovery (Shenny, The Big Bang Theory)

Burn Forever With Me (Elucien, ACOTAR)

Summer Heat (Elucien & Erixius, ACOTAR)

Our Hearts Still Beat the Same (Elucien, ACOTAR)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! I try my best to respond to all comments these days. I like having conversations with my readers!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings. I'm very demure. Very mindful.

LOL, but no really, I almost always do some kind of hopeful/HEA kind of ending. But I have written some angsty drabbles. There is a Satharion drabble you can find in my drabble series called Mr. and Mrs. Ketos that is pretty sad for the prompt "to distract".

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of them. I'm a fluff girl. I think the happiest of happy is likely Burn Forever With Me because it's basically Elucien accepting the mating bond and going into a frenzy. Which how much happier can you get?

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. Loads. At this point, the real question is when do I not write smut? And the answer is, not often.

My smut is very descriptive. I give people the manual. I like to make it immersive. I also have been told my smut is "smut with feelings" or "tender fucking". Which isn't to say it doesn't get raw and dirty. But I always am looking for what is the emotional core of this smut scene. How are they expressing love in this moment, even if it's one character snowballing cum into another's mouth? I also am always looking to make you kick your feet, even in the midst of a sex scene, so whenever I can, I try to show those little moments of tender touches that happen during sex.

9. Do you write crossovers? Yes! Actually I wrote a few crossovers when I was in That 70s Show fandom - notoriously cross overs with slasher films because loads of them had teenagers in the 70s haha. I haven't done one for ACOTAR yet, but I do have an ACOTAR/Crescent City Modern AU I've been thinking of for a while.

10. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I know.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? YES! Quite a lot. I've co-written with three authors. Two when I was in That 70's show fandom. And I've written two fics with my ACOTAR bff @crazy-ache and we have more plans in the future to keep writing together. I love co-writing. It's a great way to grow as a writer. And the creativity that comes from two brains is BIG.

12. What is your all-time favorite ship? I can't answer that. My OTPs are my children. All my ships I feel longing for, in different ways. I will say, I have been the most prolific with Elucien in terms of frequency of writing in a short amount of time. So clearly they have really touched a big part of me.

13. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I mean all the fics I abandoned when I was younger? Definitely those lol. But I actually don't have a desire to return to them.

14. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue. As seen above, I have written for a lot of sitcom fandoms, and when you write for those fandoms, you get practice with writing with sitcom cadence which really helps with writing pithy dialogue in other genres. I also think I am a very good introspective writer. I think I am best being inside characters' heads. I also do think I am good at smut. I wouldn't write it so much if I didn't think so.

15. What are your writing weaknesses?  SHUTTING THE FUCK UP. No seriously, I do tend to be on the wordy side. It's one of the reasons I get into drabble moods because I do need to learn to be more concise and try to execute a scene without making it 5000 words. I also write very wordy sentences that need to be slashed and slashed.

16. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Oh, I doubt I'll be able to do that. I only know English.

17. First fandom you wrote for? That 70's Show!

18. Favorite fic you’ve written? Ack! Okay, that is so so hard. I don't even know what I'd say. I guess, if I had to absolutely choose, I would say Summer Heat because I think it is emblematic of all my skills as a writer in one fic. And it's the fic I introduced Alexius - the first OC I ever fully fleshed out and developed, and that will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart because Alexius has given me so much confidence I never knew I had being a writer. He's really let me know that I can write original content with original characters on my own and shown me how to do it.

~~~~~~

No one tagged me 😭. But I ended up doing this anyways because I've been really wanting to and I decided I'd rather risk being a loser. But, to make sure no one else feels like a loser who wants to do it, I'm tagging everyone I can think of that I don't think I've seen do this. Sorry if you're tagged again and you did this! And if I didn't tag you I'm sorry. Please just be like me and go for it. At least we did it together!

@crazy-ache , @the-darkestminds , @olenvasynyt , @bonecarversbestie , @starsreminisce , @lucienarcheron , @teddyhoneybear , @jules-writes-stories , @avabrynne , @theshadowsingersraven , @tilseptemberends , @ataraxiasflame , @highlordofkrypton , @summerbummin , @sadiegirl2021 , @lovely-vanserra-sunshine , @sad-scarred-sassy , @yaralulu , @fieldofdaisiies , @dawneternal , @secret-third-thing

[blorger]

The Great Longbottom Bully Chronicles: Gran Edition

After examining Neville's relationship with Draco (or, more accurately, the lack thereof) here, I found myself thinking about the actual bullies he's shown to have in canon, one of which is undoubtedly his grandma.

Mrs. Longbottom is shown to have a continued negative impact on her grandson but are we meant to see her behaviour as abusive? I'm going to go out on a limb and say no, JKR did not intend for the character to be read as abusive, even though what we see when she is mentioned in the books is nothing but a military parade of red flags.

The descriptor JKR uses most often when talking about Augusta is "formidable" so I'm assuming she meant for her to come off as strict but ultimately well-meaning. After all, she is one of the Good Guys and we are always meant to excuse a Good Guy's actions, no matter how mean spirited or violent (see: Harry crucio-ing that one dude).

JKR has the unsettling habit of framing abusive parenting as excusable when the person doing said parenting is coming at it with good intentions or from a place of love (see: 70% of Molly Weasley's actions towards her children). I understand she started writing the books in the early nineties when there wasn't much of an open discussion on this topic but some of the behaviours she has her mom characters do feel like abuse evergreens. Take for example the howlers:

A howler's intended use IS public humiliation, there's no two ways about it. If the intent was merely to scold the recipient one could decide when to open them but howlers are designed to open as soon as they've been received. And when are Howlers received, especially when you send them to your school-aged children? In the great hall, a room full of you child's peers and teachers. Both Augusta and Molly know all this and still make the decision to send Howlers. This, in the books, is treated as embarrassing for the receiver but is not ultimately portrayed in a negative light (that is to say, as a malicious act).

So, JKR has a skewed perspective on what constitutes good parenting but what do we, as a modern, presumably non abusive audience, actually see when we look at Augusta Longbottom's actions as a guardian? Let's take a look:

(PS, Neville on how his family discovered he was a wizard)

Neville here is describing his family's terrible attitude towards him and Augusta is not only shown to not have a problem with any of the horrible things being done to her nephew but she is also implied to have shared her relatives' concerns. Would her treatment of Neville have been even worse than what is shown in the books if he was a squib (something which, by the way, he'd have no control over)? Most definitely.

Also, I hate how Augusta's love is portrayed as conditional; don't worry, we'll see more of that in a while (lest you think this was a one-time instance).

(PoA, while preparing to defeat a boggart, Neville describes his greatest fear - Snape - and also casually mentions how he fears his own grandmother)

I'm sorry, did Neville just put Augusta on the same level as Snape, his most fervent bully? This says so much about their relationship (and Augusta's approach to parenting).

(GoF, Neville knows his gran would love for him to enter a potentially deadly competition just to show the world how Brave he is)

Why is it up to a 14 y.o. boy who has so far shown very little aptitude for magic to uphold the family honor? Neville is literally still a child but he's already being measured against his war hero parents, not only that, he's being told regularly through this comparison that he's lacking, and that cannot possibly be good for a child's development.

(OotP, straight from the horse's mouth)

What a perfectly horrible thing to say. Not only is Augusta saying this to Neville's face but she is also telling this to Neville's schoolmates (Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny). Why does she feel the need to dress him down in front of people whose opinion he cares about?

(OotP, Neville casually reveals he is constantly made to feel inadequate, even in front of others)

Once again we are being told that mrs Longbottom is endlessly reminding Neville of all the ways in which he fails to be like his father.

(OotP, Neville is injured and in danger in the Department of Mysteries but he knows his gran's priority is first and foremost his father's wand)

I would like to take this moment to address just how fucked up it is that not only Neville is being constantly compared to his father but that he's also being forced to imitate him via the use of his wand. We know from observing both Ron and future Neville that a wrong wand can seriously hinder one's magic output; this cannot be news to someone of Augusta's age yet it's more important to her that Neville try to live up to his father's image than he be his own person.

and

(HBP, Augusta is finally proud of Neville)

Here we see an aspect of Augusta's behaviour towards Neville that is particularly gross: Neville finally has his grandma's approval (because he's behaving like his father) but it's not his heroics by themselves that she appreciates, it's their public nature. Mrs. Longbottom, who has not talked to the press before (nor will she in the future), is happy to do so because she has an excuse to brag, as if her grandson's achievements are also hers by association.

(HBP, sure Neville is a hero but he's a not Harry Potter-level hero...)

And here we come to yet another evergreen in the abusive parent handbook: the shifting of goalposts. Augusta has been wanting for Neville to behave more like his father (i.e. heroically) all this time but once he starts doing that suddenly it's not enough anymore. Whereas before Neville was lacking because he wasn't behaving bravely, now he's lacking because he's not behaving saviour of the wizarding world-level bravely (an impossible goal to reach).

(HBP, McGonagall says what we're all thinking)

I find this passage interesting because jkr finally has a character acknowledge that mrs. Longbottom is not behaving like a good parent and yet nothing comes from it. In an ideal world, McGonagall would follow this with a letter to Augusta where she talks about the effect her expectations are having on Neville but she doesn't do that. This is especially galling since McGonagall is shown to not have a problem with writing to Augusta if she sees she's acting against her grandson's best interests, after all she does write mrs. Longbottom a letter to help Neville enroll in 6th year Charms (the study of which Augusta discourages because it's a subject SHE had difficulty in).

and also

(DH, Augusta is finally proud of Neville but only because he's behaving like she wants him to)

I can't help but feel like there's better ways to show Neville's growth as a character (and the improvement of his relationship with Augusta) than what we are shown in the books. In the end, mrs. Longbottom is rewarded for her awful parenting by getting exactly the grandson she's wanted all along; it's not her who's adjusted her expectations and seen them as unreasonable, it's Neville who's had to change - and even then it's not because he wanted to but because of external reasons (he's in the middle of a war). Neville rose to her impossible expectation by pure happenstance and I don't say that to discount his resilience and general goodness, only to note that the circumstances were beyond his control.

In conclusion, Augusta Longbottom is a terrible guardian and her actions fucked up Neville's development just as much as Snape's bullying did and yet in the books only one of them is unequivocally shown to be in the wrong for it.

[somerandomdudelmao]

Okay. This is it. Theory time.

I'm going to write an essay on "how I love elaborate lore in Mystic Hands by @characcoon " It may or may not be a complete circus, but at least you'll have fun watching me getting it wrong eh?

Okay, first of all, let me put on my clown suit for this performance. Because, I'll be honest, I can only understand 70% of a complex text if I don't use a translator. And the translator also tends to change the meaning of the text.

I'm also writing this essay through a translator and just hoping for the best, so...ahahaha...yeah.

Chapters nine and ten of Mystic Hands gave me something to think about. Mostly because, all of a sudden, Bishop and his lab-military squad turned out to be more than background characters. And let me tell you, I grew up on the 2003 series. I may not remember all the nuances of the plot there very well, but I remember the asshole named Bishop perfectly~ But I'm not sure how similar 2003 Bishop and MH Bishop are, so I'm just...anxious in advance and start looking for things that would ring a bell.

From what I learned in chapters 9 and 10:

Bishop is an asshole.

He has his precious organization.

He also has access to empyrium and a recipe for crafting an incredibly toxic herbicide.

He also has a mustache. ( funny how this part puzzles me the most)

Michelangelo talks about him as a cruel and despicable scumbag who should have been rolled in asphalt at the first opportunity. He also calls Bishop a liar, so I guess in the future Bishop and the turtles have a... "adventure" haha... And of course we all know how fun stories with a cruel scientist and mutants can be. Yep.

This is where I start trying to put the puzzle together.

When Michelangelo sees the glowing blue stuff in the vials he reacts rather emotionally and says it could be a version of a anti-mutagen. He also says that it might help bring Raph back to normal when he asks Donnie to analyze the thing.

Donnie does the analysis.

The so-called "anti-mutagen" turns out to be an herbicide. Yes, very toxic and suspect and containing empyrium, but only herbicide.

In this moment. ONLY at that moment does Michelangelo realize that his information about the substance and its capabilities was wrong. And for SOME reason, it makes him absolutely furious.

And this is where the shit hits the fan.

Everything written above leads me to believe that the Turtles have already dealt with Bishop and his "anti-mutagen" in a bad timeline of the future. Whatever happened, Michelangelo came out of that adventure with the certainty that the blue stuff was a anti-mutagen. Which in itself is not suspicious, because even with his constant sleepovers in Donnie's lab, Michelangelo is still not that advanced a science dude. If he was young enough, Bishop could pour Sprite into a test tube, call it a anti-mutagen, and Michelangelo would buy it.

What a good thing they had Donnie for situations like that, I thought. And then I thought again. A little more anxious.

Did they?

Obviously, if Donnie had participated in the "adventure" with Bishop, he would not have allowed the turtles to call the strange liquid a retromutagen without analyzing it at least ten different ways. Even if Bishop hadn't given him a free sample, Donnie would have found a way to extract as much information as possible. Michelangelo was his lab partner. There was no way he would have missed something that important.

So...I guess at that point in the future, Donny wasn't there. Which leaves me with two possibilities. Either he was dead, or...he was taken out of the game for some reason.

The death option looks pretty straightforward. Donnie wasn't there to take control of the situation, so Bishop could probably afford a lot of free lying.

But I tend to think more about the second option.

Because Michelangelo, after getting into the past, intends to keep Donnie away from Bishop. This cannot be dictated by logic. Donnie, of all turtles, would be best able to consider if Bishop tries to pull something sneaky. Donnie has his technique, his knowledge, and his ability to hack any computer with just a dessert fork and rage. And yet Michelangelo takes Donnie with him into the tunnels. Because I'm sure he's guided not by logic but by fear.

Which leads me to the second option.

Donnie was not there at the time of the "adventure". Maybe physically he was alive, but he wasn't there at that moment of the future. Because Bishop did something to him.

That's why Donnie couldn't discover the lie about the anti-mutagen. And that's why Michelangelo wants to keep his younger version away from Bishop.

Now. This is where my knowledge of the 2003 series comes into the chat. More specifically, about one of my favorite stories from there - season 4 episodes 24 and 25 - "Good Genes."

( These are the episodes in which Donnie mutates, turning into a monster because he was previously stung by one of Bishop's mutants. Donnie's brothers spend a very "fun" amount of time trying to figure out how to cure him, but none of them are smart enough. So they are forced to make a deal with Bishop to reverse Donnie's mutation. Bishop was nice enough to actually do it and at the end of the story Donnie is fine again)

What if. Listen. WHAT IF something like this happened in a bad timeline.

Maybe Donnie was infected by Krang. Maybe he mutated for some other reason. Something happened to him. Something that caused the rest of the turtles to go to Bishop for help, because Donnie was usually the one who solved problems like this and Donnie wasn't there at the time.

This is where I pull out the "squeeze apple juice out of oranges" pokemon, because I'm starting to use information that isn't in the fanfic. We have the art, and the post.

And Donnie is not having a good time there. There's also the idea that the anti-mutagen in Mystic Hands doesn't work as neatly and conveniently as it did in 2003 and 2012. It doesn't turn a hypothetical mutant turtle back into a regular turtle.

The art quite clearly complements this thought.

At first I thought - hey, anti-mutagen works differently. I guess it's because it's supposed to reverse a secondary mutation or Crang infection?

Then I thought again. You know, more thoroughly. Bishop was lying.

There was no anti-mutagen, at least not in the sense that the turtles needed it. They only THOUGHT the thing existed because Bishop convinced them it did.

So. What are the chances that Donnie was infected with something the turtles couldn't handle on their own? So they had to enlist the help of Bishop. But unlike the man in 2003 this Bishop didn't do his part honestly and used some version of the toxic herbicide on Donnie?

What are the chances that at first the herbicide actually worked as a cure for Krang, because in this universe Krangs are apparently very evil vegetables? How long did it take for this substance to start killing Donnie himself? Because there's no way I'm going to believe that this caustic stuff is harmless to living creatures of any kind. Was the herbicide slow enough for the turtles to think the "anti-mutagen" was working and happily celebrate Donnie's healing? Maybe it took hours, maybe days, but my guess is that at some point the herbicide destroyed Donatello, giving enough time before that, however, for Michelangelo to remember that "blue stuff = cure for krangification."

That's why Michelangelo was so furious when he found out the blue stuff wasn't a retromutagen. He realized that Bishop had lied to him by calling this toxic crap a healing possibility. He realized that Donnie, his Donnie from the future, was not healed. He realized that Bishop probably didn't even try to heal him, taking advantage of the incompetence of the turtles.

_________

Either that or Bishop in the future just stole Donnie and experimented on him for fun and science or something. And I just wasted a lot of your and my time for nothing~

Everything I've written here could be complete nonsense haha. And I'm not even sure I used half the terms correctly, because translating things from English into my native language and then translating back is tedious. But I hope that at least this post will be fun to reread when the fanfic plot moves on and mysteries are solved lmao

[kae-karo]

fic roundup 2024

PHEW it's been a year !!! i've posted a whopping 70 fics?? across 31 different ships for blue lock,,,,,which is kind of insane lmao i think that's the most ships i've ever written for???? in a SINGLE year???

anyway without further ado, my fave fic i posted in each month!

jan - the mall au !!! (x) a smorgasbord of ryusae, hiorin, kaisagi, kurobachisagi, and kunigiri, where everyone works at The Mall !!! i had a blast with the sdse especially, they are always so dear to my heart

feb - this mcd sae / past ryusae / ryurin getting together fic (x) that i just. i really tore my soul out a little writing this one (in a good way) and i love them sosososo much

mar - age gap rnis (x) god the only thing i love more than rin despising isagi and wanting to destroy him is when he's so downbad for isagi it makes him look stupid !!!!

apr - tabiori with my beloved dom sadist hiori (x) iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou i mean look i love karasu too but this hiori is sososo good to me dfkljjkldsf

may - naturally, the kiis fic i wrote after we got kaiser's backstory (x) i just love making him vulnerable i love isagi tolerating it in the most isagi way !!!! they make me ILL!!!!

jun - the first fic in the wedding au !!! (x) ryusae my beloveds !!!! i brainrotted over this au for so long and i rly loved writing sae's jealousy and possessiveness it's such a good look on him

jul - hands down the saesagi angel fic (x) this fic consumed my entire being while i was writing it. i reread it probably dozens of times before i posted. spiritual successor to KNOCK.ME.OUT in terms of the way it holds a piece of my heart

aug - this is hard bc rpw BUT it's gotta be the inspection and lubrication of seacocks (x) bc between the first fic and that one my ryukara brainrot rly set in hard. i may or may not be working on another part to this au lmao

sept - ough HAS to be the rnseis !!!! (x) another i could reread a billion times, i really feel like i cooked with this one. got rin having confused feelings abt sae, dom isagi, plenty of smut, and rnse tentative reconciliation. banger after banger tbh

oct - IT'S A TIE i refuse to decide so soft karasae summer vacation (x) AND horny not-technically-gay-sex gay sex rinsae cannibalism (x) which i adored both of for very different reasons lmao

nov - a doozy of a month with lots of prompt fics BUT i still have to love my dairy farmer kaiser kiis fic (x) above all. what can i say, i love making kaiser insufferably vulnerable around isagi and making isagi insanely determined to. be around him.

dec - i swore i wasn't gonna write this til i was done with the mall au but somehow it snuck up on me anyway so i wrote an entire 'stuck in an airport' fic (x) with some fun rarepairs (ryukara, otoya/chigiri/sendou, kunibarou, raiku) plus kaisagi which isn't remotely rare lmao

honorable mentions + other stats + future plans below the cut!!

phew so a solid 70 fics, 31 different ships, over 500k words, 67k hits and 7k kudos

kudos-wise, y'alls faves were all to myself (x), it's rotten work, especially to me, especially if it's you (x), the thought of you is wrapped around my neck (i'm choking) (x), my favorite poison (x), and up in the air (x) !! so predominantly kaisagi fans this year lmao

honorable mention fics:

touch tank (x) my beloved ryusae and one of my earliest trans sae (or trans anyone bllk) fics and also just. the idea of insecure sae is so dear to my heart !!!!!

all i want to be, all i ever want to be (x) some very soft and slightly fraught kaisae, returning to my roots lmao. genuinely tho i really liked writing this one in particular, just....soft

card carrying member of the fuck isagi yoichi club (x) kira/kaiser i had a VISION okay !!!!! thank u to pwc for having kira as one of the only early-game characters and making me think abt him again lmao

it's rotten work, especially to me, especially if it's you (x) i always love kaisagi but i ESPECIALLY love soft kaisagi, i love kaiser out of his element and leaning on isagi, i love isagi so deeply obsessed with kaiser that he can't help but fall for him

if you can't beat 'em (x) which i wrote and posted BEFORE ACTUAL KAISAGI TEAMUP and i still think them crushing noa would've been fun but i suppose this is fine too lmaoooo

thank u all for joining me in 2024 and there will certainly be more to come in 2025! <3

since u have made it this far, some things i'll hopefully be doing in 2025:

kaiser/nanase! i didn't get it finished in time for kaiser's bday but i still want to write it!!

more karasae AND more ryukara! karasu quickly becoming a fave so hopefully yall enjoy him too lmao

shidou ryuusei's guide to transing your gender and homoing your sexual !!!!

mall au part 2!!!!

more saesagi. i am too downbad for them lmao

something hopefully for sdsern week !!!! i have one idea i might roll with we shall see

oviposition it has to happen it's been too long i'm finding reasons to put it into like every fic i'm working on lmao i need to get the brainworms out lmao

maybe if i'm very brave i will also be working on my original story!!

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 2: A Woofer In Tweeter's Clothing (The Louvre)

Another very solid album! I think I've heard some say that it's not really that good besides a couple standouts, but I must respectfully disagree!! More down-to-earth and less of a bag of delightfully mismatched oddities than its predecessor, yes, but that still doesn't really diminish its value in my eyes. Yeah, it doesn't really have many low points for me but it also definitely does have those couple of total classics that totally stand out (and interestingly, I realized while writing down my favourite songs that I could consider every single one on the first half of the album a favourite. Not that the second half is necessarily worse... but still interesting to actually have it spelled out and visible like that and be able to think about it). And all in all Woofer definitely continues with a very similar kind of feeling and imagery as the previous release so I'm definitely a big fan of that aspect! I really like this album a whole bunch and revisit it a lot. Just making it clear here... just in case... that yes, I do like it, even if I don't have that many specific things to sing praise about this time, maybe? Or at least not as loudly. Who knows!

But ok, there actually IS another very important thing I can't forget to mention about Woofer. Because this is THE impressive Russell vocal moments album for me, or maybe more appropriately, Russell making sounds that are both impressive and intriguing in nature. That defintely makes it stand out even among all the other early 70s albums (which also have their own fair share of such moments of course). But I'll say more on those specific moments below.

And also, continuing the topic of seasons associations here too (for as long as I remember to inculde these here, I might forget about it pretty quickly however, maybe it's just that with some later albums the associations aren't as pronounced and important! Yeah, it could be that), this album is totally autumny to me, a sunny and warm sort of autumn but when most of the leaves have already fallen down. For once it's not the exact moment when I started listening to it that becomes the associatied season, huh? But even then, I can still hear some elements of late winter / very early spring here as well.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Girl From Germany (this is just THE sound of the summer kind of song for me, it just makes me instantly happy. Which I guess is kind of funny considering its subject matter but that's just how it is with Sparks and I think we all got used to that at this point)

Beaver O'Lindy (!!!!! no explanation needed, right)

Nothing Is Sacred (suuuuuper underrated, I especially love Russell's entire... whatever is going on at the end here, it's one of my favourite moments on the entire album)

Here Comes Bob (this is silly but at first whenever I heard this song I always pictured the character Bob from Animal Crossing going on a little stroll so that definitely makes it funnier)

Moon Over Kentucky (another timeless CLASSIC. I don't even know what to say about it, it's just so good. And has plenty of those vocal moments too for sure)

Batteries Not Included (not... really a favourite but I still wanted to give it a mention, because I think there's something very cool and unique about it, even besides being sort of a funny little... ugh, I hate to use this word but, novelty?? song (I can't find a better word for this that doesn't come af sort of derogatory but I hope you can see what I mean with this haha)). Oh, and of course it's the first on the list of "short intro" type of Sparks songs, which I always find quite great and memorable whenever they show up over the following years.

[aeantizlkamenwati]

Veilguard Thoughts

I just need to get my thoughts out of my head and the Void seems like a perfect place since I can’t write a review on console. I’m all for civil discussion, but at the end of the day this is my opinion/feelings after 20 hours. Perhaps it'll change once I finished the game, but I doubt it. Beware minor spoilers.

Warning: Incredibly long. TL;DR at the very end.

I’ll start this off by saying it’s not a bad GAME, just a bad DRAGON AGE. It runs nice (only had one crash, and minimal amount of stuttering on fidelity mode, one time the screen went completely black but the dialogue and music continued which was vaguely terrifying. Some movements are janky in cutscenes, but overall, not bad). It's pretty, I like some of the new designs. The music is nice.

I’m not a fan of this style of combat (never could jive with God of War or Bloodbourne; my preference for real time action is like Hades and DMC) mostly because I can’t cancel an action with dodge/block and the AI focuses solely on Rook so you end up getting swarmed and unable to properly see the flasher plus the timing is weird af. I tried playing on what I assume was supposed to be Casual mode (Keeper) because it said “emphasizes party composition over reflexes” and well…it lied. To the point that I was not having fun because the game is 70% combat, 20% exploring and 10% story. So I turned it to Story mode because I could not be bothered and enjoyed it slightly more. It feels very MMO, team-based, looter imo. The UI, how it handles, the depth of the story and how it goes about it (the Mission Accomplished Journal screens specifically), the emphasis on combat over anything else…

And here we get to my problem: I only enjoy it when I pretend it’s just a generic fantasy game and not Dragon Age. Because it doesn’t FEEL like a Dragon Age. It feels as soft as everyone’s skin texture. I don’t care about the story or the characters and it boils down to the writing.

It feels juvenile.

Like I loved DA because it was willing to confront the worst in humanity. The disgusting parts of war like Loghain selling elves to slavers, or the nunances of blood magic. Presenting choices that are morally grey like sacrificing the Circle or the Templars in DA2 (yes that choice was heavily forced and stupid but still). It didn’t shy away from it. There was levity, but the characters had multiple sides. They could get angry, they could get snappy or sappy. There was GROWTH to them. Zevran’s romance arc if you choose to reject the earring without more commitment was beautiful. DA2’ romances were…a little stilted, but I still enjoyed them. Inquisition also had lovely little arcs, depending on the romance. But even friendships felt natural as you got to know these people.

And Veilguard falls flat. They were okay with pissing off the culture war babies with trans/nonbinary options, but not with showing us the bad things. The game TELLS us “this is bad”, but doesn’t show why. They have their soap box moment of “slavery bad” like it’s not 2024 and anyone worth the air they breathe knows that, how about you still show that since we are IN THE HEART OF THE SLAVE TRADE?! Where’s the option to maybe be an escaped slave? An escaped Saarebas? They refuse to give us blood magic because “it’s messy” Yeah. It is. That’s the point. Maybe let me decide if that's a line I'd like to cross? No? Necromancy is fine? It’s like we traded the dark adult themes for better sex scenes.

The major choice I’ve gotten to means NOTHING outside of metagaming. It’s like they were trying to show they could be edgy or that “now now you can’t save everyone because we say so and we are going to force one of your companions to hate you”. And it boils down to who you want to romance, who is vital as a support character, and which faction do you prefer? Has nothing to do with anything else and there’s no way to fix this forced hardening, so have fun with that I guess? It’s not like I chose the dialogue options or anything, it feels as shoe horned in as DA2’s ending tbh. Like here have a shitty decision for no other reason than we want you to.

Then BioWare seems to have tried to both cater to the newbies and the ones who read/watch/listen to the extra media and fail to find a middle ground. It relies too heavily on codexes and journals and other media (which was my gripe with Inquisition) to do the heavy lore lifting (for example as someone who did not read Tevinter Nights yet nor listened to the third-party podcast, I have no connection to Rook's backstory).

But at the same time, it treats us like we are stupid? Going back to how juvenile the writing feels: it repeats itself a horrific amount. Every time Solas says “the Evanuris” it’s apparently a contractual obligation for him to say “or the elven gods as you would call them” immediately after. The amount of freaking out about them CONSTANTLY is like they are afraid we forgot after an hour. And again I kept thinking: how about you stop telling me they are terrible and why I should be scared and SHOW me?  D’Meta did nothing because I didn’t see it happen like watching Loghain call the retreat after watching darkspawn slaughter the army. Another example in the beginning is after you get the dagger, you speak with Harding and you can discuss magic. Rook notes they know dwarves are called Children of the Stone. Five seconds later Harding goes in the most “I’m speaking to a toddler” tone: “Dwarves call ourselves Children of the Stone. Some of us have what we call Stone sense.” Like…Rook would know that??? If newbies are confused they can go look in the glossary (isn’t that what that’s for?) or give an option to ask a question. It just feels so fucking patronizing.

Then it spoils so much of the story with the Varric interludes, or repeats itself AGAIN when I think they are there for style and suspense. Like Varric I already know they need to craft a red lyrium dagger, they straight up TOLD ME. That scene didn’t need to be in there at all. Solas’ little monologue rehashing everything in the beginning was unnecessary, and honestly him just telling us who we were against without us first seeing how bad it was…just…It took the suspense out of it. Like imagine if Inquisition straight up told you that Corypheus was the baddie just immediately in the Temple of Sacred Ashes prologue scene. That’s what it felt like.

Which brings me to the dialogue and characters I suppose. The companions have the depth of a shallow pool and Rook has less. They have moments where I like them, but tbh I don’t really care for any of them because how could I? I can’t talk to them. It feels empty. I like that they have lights telling me when I have new dialogue, but I miss having conversations with Dorian or Zevran, getting to know them before I started flirting with them. But nope. None of that. And good god the flirting is cringey because of it. Just comes out of nowhere and feels like teenagers. Again, there are moments where I’m like: THAT DO THAT, but it goes right back to the blah stuff. Like whoever wrote the Crows, good job. I loved Teia almost immediately. Viago great. Illario, I’m intrigued. Lucanis by default also interests me, but unfortunately, I don’t get to explore his character much. Irelin is also good. I liked the Veil Jumper fight you could get into with Strife (felt like witnessing a father/child yelling match). Where’s that sort of dialogue with everyone else?

And ROOK. Oh god Rook. They make a big deal about us not being able to be a people pleaser, and yet that’s the only personality Rook has. My favorite moment of Inquisition was in Trespasser where the Inquisitor could FINALLY have a human moment and BREAK. It felt like they had been bottling it up for so long and they just couldn’t anymore. I don't foresee Rook getting that sort of moment.

Rook is just three flavors of customer service. There’s no option for them to be anything but the dashing hero who has boundless optimism like a puppy. Where’s the option be the reluctant hero? The ruthless “hero”? They are just a bumbling idiot with witty one liners.

They feel like a teenager’s first protag as they try to give them “flaws” but never show those flaws. Nothing you do matters, just how you say “yes I’ll help”. There’s no nuance. No places where I think Rook can grow without ME. Rook is just a blank doll without me projecting onto them and even in BIG supposedly heartwrenching moments, Rook is just an idiot. And put them with the juvenile and forced dialogue of the companions? It feels like they are a pre-teen who’s been put in charge of a bunch of toddlers while the nice uncle tries to soothe them and the abusive dad yells.

The abusive dad is Solas btw. Varric says he views us all as children, to which I want to reply: yeah and he’s a piece of shit dad who rubs their toddler’s face into their diaper going “LOOK AT THE MESS YOU MADE BAD BAD BAD!” Like honestly, you can tell it’s not the same people writing these characters. Solas feels like they decided the low approval Solas was the canon no matter what. In Inquisition I truly felt like he was redeemable. This Solas? Nah, I want to stab that bitch first chance. Like he’s giving me no reason to like him and he’s being a dick for no fucking reason. Maybe later on we learn a reason, but in 20 hours there’s ZERO. That’s a problem if you are trying to get me to see his side of things. And the tonal shifts from when he shows that he regrets stabbing Varric? Feel forced, like my dude I think you are lying just because you seem to be unable to comprehend half of this is YOUR fault.

Which ties into my last gripe: this is not MY Thedas. The decision to make only the last fifteen minutes of a paid DLC mean ANYTHING (and tbh I have yet to find where the hell it actually matters in 20 hours. I have two saves about the same amount of progress: one Solavellan and the other Dorian, they are basically the exact opposite choices. I can't say I've found where anything has changed, so what was that about them not wanting to do one bit of dialogue???? At least in Inquisition within the first two hours I could find those bits of dialogue) that decision made it where none of these characters matter to me. They feel more like carrots dangling in front of long-time players trying to entice us closer, but when you grab the carrot…it just vanishes.

That’s not MY Morrigan. That’s not MY Varric, MY Solas, MY Dorian. They are NewBioWare’s versions of them. The Inquisitor? The character I played over 100 hours as isn’t MINE. They are a stranger because they tore away any agency I had. They just picked whatever personality they wanted and said LOOK SEE CONNECTION. But there’s no history, no connection, NOTHING. There’s so many places where I can see where they could’ve done something. And if I can see them, why couldn’t anyone at BioWare?

They forgot that DA’s uniqueness wasn’t just the companions (and these ones are just below DA2’s since we didn’t get to interact with them either, so…), it was the world and how it reacted to choices in previous games. How new heroes might have to deal with the consequences (and to be fair, no DA game has ever actually managed to deliver on that, but they at least TRIED).

This though…

TL;DR: this should’ve felt like a homecoming and instead it feels like BioWare demolished my home, spray painted the ruins with soft pastels and is trying to tell me it’s the same, if not better. And it’s not, and probably never will be again.

[variousfandoms]

Cafae Latte / Harry Potter Crossover idea

I had an idea for the CaFae Latte and Harry Potter crossover. Basically, the Dursleys (who are in America for some reason I don’t know) end up at CaFae Latte. They pitch a fit and get cursed, Harry learns that magic exist early. Feedback is welcome.

Now for the lore discrepancies. Harry Potter and CaFae Latte obviously have very different lore. This next lore dump is heavily inspired by and incorporates ideas form Marshflower’s A Complaining Muggle series on Tik Tok.

The Statute of Secrecy has always been difficult to keep, which became even more difficult in the late 1860’s and early 1870’s. By the 1960’s and 70’s many countries are repealing the Statue of Secrecy during the Fae Rights moment (Cafae Latte lore). Skip to modern age and in most places the Statute of Secrecy is only enforced in a hand full of countries, like Britain. No one really knows why Britain still dose this to themselves. Because of this they have low numbers of werewolves, vampires, fairies, and other such magical creatures.

So, why is Britain like this? This is because their society is mostly run by (white) pure blood wizards, with a foundation in wizard supremacy.

Here’s an excerpts:

“Excuse me, are you the one who cast a curse on my Aunt and Uncle?” The little boy asked.

“Uh, no. You want the boss, give me a second,” Cyrus said, “Boss! There’s a kid looking for you! He says yo cursed his Aunt and Uncle!”

“Just a moment,” Bob finished her next order, and shy and Cyrus switched places, “Hello there. You said you are here because I’ve cursed your Aunt and Uncle?”

“Yes Ma’am, I have some questions,”

“What kind of questions?”

“If you cursed them, dose that mean magic is indeed real,”

“So, uhm. Everyone says you’re a fairy, but my Aunt and Uncle said fairies aren’t real,”

“I am a fairy. In fact I do believe those kinds of comments are what got them cursed,”

“So, can only fairies do magic?”

“No, humans can do magic, but faeries are typically far more powerful,”

“So, when my teacher’s hair turned blue. That was actually my fault?” He asked.

“Well, that is some particularity strong magic for your age, but it’s not entirely impossible. But you came here to ask if magic exist, and by your accent I’d say you’re British,” Bob said.

“I am ma’am,”

“Then I believe you are what we call in Ameirca, a sorcerer,”

“Sor-cer-er,” He says slowly.

“This means you have a particularly strong ability to do magic without training. Typically, it’s more common for it to run in the family, but it dose sometimes happen without that family connection,” Bob explained. She could see the gears turning in his head.

“Dose that mean, I’m never going to be normal,”

“Normal is completely meaningless. But I assume you’re talking about your magical outburst. They will peter out with time and training,”

“Training?”

“Yes. I believe the UK has a standardized school for sorcerers, they’ll probably reach out to you when you are 10 or 11, but this town has a lot of magical resources,”

“Really, there is?”

“Yes, I can give you a few names and your parents can take you,”

“Thank-you ma’am, but I don’t have any parents,”

“I’m sorry to hear that, I guess you are living with your aunt and uncle,”

“Yes ma’am,”

“Well then, for the next seven years may you have good luck and good health,” Bob blessed them before writing down a few names and addresses.

[shadowqueenjude]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Thank you @crazy-ache for tagging me!

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

232,213

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

26

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Three. I have my Nesta gets a gun fic ( I SWEAR i’ll finish it lol), my regency snowbaird fic called How to Restore a Duke’s Fortune, and my elucien fic A Court of Sight and Tulips

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

It’s probably my Eris Vanserra one-shots here. I managed to make Eris insanely cunty and hot😩

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

I mean honestly, anything smutty that I wrote (which isn’t much). I’m ace spectrum so I generally don’t read much smut and writing it is a pain, but I’m getting the hang of it now!

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Honestly surprised that all my Azris/Eris Vanserra content was so popular (thank you @talibunny30 for commenting on my fic❤️) so I guess this means I’m writing more azris in 2025!

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

I wasn’t expecting a whole lot of engagement because it’s a little niche, but I am OBSESSED with my story The Illyrian Princess. It’s about Emerie fighting for the Illyrian women and it also features one of my favorite rarepairs Emerie/Nuan!

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

@thrumbolt @copypastus @works-of-heart @majuandrad @lucychanart @sad-scarred-sassy @dimalry I love y’all’s art you’re SO fucking talented and you make me scream with every piece you make!

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

@positivelyruined @crazy-ache @olenvasynyt @sad-scarred-sassy y’all make me SCREAM with every word you write💕💕💕

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

Pretty much everyone is new to me because I’m very new to fandom LOL

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

YES. I wrote When the Steam Settles with my wife @sonics-atelier , which is Rhysand x Cassian plus a little bit of Azriel! It started because we were kind of joking around about how homosexual some of the things the bat boys said to each other were, and we were making jokes of things that would happen between them and then we got the idea to actually write a scene with them!

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

I used to quickly post my fics without editing them because I was afraid I’d chicken out and cringe at what I wrote, but I’m finally rereading and editing my fics now (which basically started bc i wanted my secret santa gift to be perfect)!

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

That kudos and comments are not reflective of quality. I know people say that a billion times, but it’s true and something i still need to internalize. I’ll write the most jaw dropping fic and have 2 kudos and a comment and then I’ll write some shit while high at 2 AM and get 70 kudos overnight. I can assure you that at least one person enjoyed your fic and you should write it for yourself and that one person who loves your stuff :)

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

Try not to overwhelm your writing with nonstop dialogue or nonstop description. If you find yourself doing one of those things, change something up. If you have too much dialogue, describe facial expressions or a shifting in posture. If you have too much description, add a small conversation.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

To finish my WIPs, LOL

Tagging @kateprincessofbluewhales @positivelyruined @sonics-atelier whoever wants to do this!

[livelaughlovetoread]

Birth Control and the Magical World

@yallthemwitches... I might have gone a little overboard after reading your question...

I very much think Harry was an accident and Neville was planned.

Jily were nineteen, while the Fralice were established Aurors. I think Fralice probably started in the Auror office in 1970 or earlier and had been fighting a war for a decade - for them, it was if not now then when?

I also think the Cruciatus curse impacts fertility, and for Fralice they were worried if they kept fighting they would never be able to have a child. (DEs were absolutely throwing CC out on the regular in battles so many people were def hit).

As for birth control:

We about to get Math and Sciencey

Contraception Charm

I personally don't think the "Contraception Charm" that many use would actually be effective - if it is I think it would be like the pull-out method where it's ~78% effective when done right. Charms do take concentration to some extent to be effective.

I think combining the Contraception Charm with the pull-out method would increase the efficacy

P(A or B) = P(A) + P(B) - P(A and B) = .78 +.78 - (.78*.78) = 0.9516 = ~95% efficacy. When done right.

So if you go with this there was a 5% chance of a child.

Option 1: Many people think "Oh that won't be us." But then Jily gets Harry.

Birth Control Potion

As for the Birth control Potion. I do not think this would be something that you can get over the counter or make at home. There is a difference between making a medical-grade potion and practicing making one in class. I could purchase ingredients that make you a drug - but that does not mean it would be medical-grade or as effective as those made in a proper manufacturing plant.

Also, this is the 70s.

Birth control pills were not available until 1961 in the UK, and in 1967 non-marred people could get it (if they could find a doc that would let them lol). Also, this was non-marred ADULTS. There was such a stigma about birth control back then. In 1974, birth control was added to the NHS services free for everyone. But there was still so much stigma and fight for this.

Now magical potion creation is probably different, so they probably had it around for longer. However, I do not think the magical world is SO progressive that they would be allowing non-marred people access to this potion. They would absolutely not allow a minor in the wizarding world access to this potion without parental consent. Medical approval without parental consent codified for those under 16 in the UK in 1986. Control of reproductive rights is a fight today - back in the 70s it was much harder - and wizards are not known for being forward-thinking in medicine (I am looking at the werewolves).

Now you can write Lily's parents however you wish, but I do not see a word where she is going to ask them for this content (forge it maybe). I also don't see a world where she is getting birth control from a Muggle doctor - but you do you!

Can see Lily going on the potion once she is 17 and or married. But I also wonder how access to medication would have gone for a known resistance fighter...

I imagine that the potion has the same efficacy as the pill so 99%.

People still get pregnant on birth control.

Also if you are not perfect (which you might not be in the middle of a war) then the efficacy goes down to 93%.

Something to note about potions and medications: You must maintain a level of them in your bloodstream for them to be effective. So let's say you get hit with a curse and are bleeding everywhere and get a blood repletion potion - you would not have the effective amount of the drug in your bloodstream.

Option 2: Jily uses the potion but is 1) part of the 1%, 2) non-optimal dosage taking 7%, 3) or Lily suffers massive blood loss.

Muggle Methods

They could also use Muggle methods like condoms which are 98% effective or Muggle birth control.

Option 3: Issue with Condom or use of Muggle birth control.

Overall

What I am getting at - there are so many ways to have an oops baby while taking precautions with birth control. It does happen!

I think Jily was keeping this in mind as they were on the front lines.

I see them as a married couple that talked about the family they would have one day as a way to cope.

I see them both saying now is not the time for a family, but wanting one so desperately.

I see them as very scared when they find out, but wanting Harry as he is what they had thought so much about.

I think abortion was an option, I personally don't think they thought about it (I AM VERY PRO CHOICE!!!).

I think after 1.5 years of fighting in a war it made them want Harry so much more - as they could go back to fighting after their kid was born (or so they thought).

I can see them getting burnt out and having Harry was a leave of absence - just like how Fralice probably stepped away and then came back.

[bisnes-socks]

The Big Finnish Music Project for International Kääryleet, part 1.

When I was writing this analysis about Menestynyt yksilö, I started thinking a lot about Finnish music, about the influences in Käärijä's music, and about the music he would have grown up hearing and being aware of. He references music and artists a lot, and Finnish music has its own peculiarities that I think influence and affect us all, whether we realise it or not. 

So, I made a list of noteworthy Finnish artists and songs. And I put it under a read more because it's long as fuck and I don't want to force people to scroll through it lol.

NOTE: Because of the Tumblr limit on the amount of videos in one post, this project has 6 parts + a bonus part, so 7 parts in total. I will always put the part number in every post title.

I know there's a list somewhere, Finnish fans recommending other Finnish artists to international kääryleet, but I tried my best to make this not so much based on my own taste and recommendations, and more based on which artists and songs have had a significant impact in the world of music in Finland, and have thus had a lot of influence on Finnish music and people in general. With that being said, not all of these artists are like generally agreed upon as "significant" beyond a hit or two, but I do think all of these artists are great reflections of what was going on in the world of Finnish music at any specific time, and that’s what I also wanted to highlight.

Some of these artists or songs have a direct connection to Käärijä, I've marked them with red, if you want to focus on finding them. With some of the others, I’ve deliberately tried to find connections to things I've talked about in previous Käärijä analysis posts as being something culturally very Finnish, to further highlight what I mean by that and how Käärijä relates to the broader scene of Finnish music.

DISCLAIMER: This list is quite heavy on the early 2000's compared to other eras. The reasons for that are: personally I think that the early 2000's are the most relevant time for a kääryle, as his music has the most influence from that time in my opinion. Which makes sense, he (and the other guys involved in making Käärijä music) would have been at that age where you begin to discover your personal favourites etc. The late 90's and early 2000's were also just a significant time in Finnish music - you'll find multiple artists from that era on this list referred to as "one of the most successful of all time", both domestically and internationally.

Also I'm sorry I know very little about popular Finnish music right now, like 2020's Finnish music, but guys… I get the feeling he doesn't know much either, so does it matter too much lmao.

Also the list is by no means exhaustive, so any other Finns feel free to add stuff in notes or reblogs!

Okay, let’s get to the list! In (mostly) chronological order, going all the way back to the late 60’s.

--

Kirka 

Started his career in music in the late 1960's. Passed away in 2007. One of the most significant names in Finnish iskelmä and rock music, did a metal phase in the late 1980’s as one of the first in Finland to do so. Definitely a household name and still active in the 2000’s before his death as well, so someone any millennial grew up being aware of for sure. Represented Finland in Eurovision in 1984 with the song Hengaillaan. 

This is his first huge hit, Hetki lyö, originally from 1967. This live performance is from 2001.

Hector

A huge name in Finnish rock music, Hector is also known for a folk music vibe. Started his career in the 60’s and is just one of those household names and he is still active. I’ve linked the song Lumi teki enkelin eteiseen, which is an all time classic that I know at least millennials and every generation before them of course knows and can sing. A melancholic song about very depressing subjects, like depression (both mental and economical), suicide, family issues etc. Life in Finland was not rosy in the 70’s, there was still a big wave of Finnish people leaving for Sweden and America in search of jobs and a better life, and this song touches on a lot of the reasons why.

The song is originally from 1973, but here’s a video of Hector performing the song to 36 000 people at the Olympic Stadium as part of the Mestarit tour in 1999. Mestarit was made up of Hector, Kirka, Pave Maijanen and Pepe Willberg, all huge names in Finnish music and their tour and album together were huge cultural moments in Finland.

Danny

Mentioned in Sex = Money. Danny also started in the 60's and was a massive, massive star all through the 70's. He is still active. He was considered as the "Finnish Elvis", not because of similarities in music necessarily but the popularity. He also started wearing a very Elvis looking jumpsuit at some point in the 70's. Danny has also been in the spotlight for his personal relationships a lot. This is his hit, Kesäkatu, also referenced in Sex = Money.

Katri Helena

Queen of iskelmä. Started her career in the 70's, still going strong. She's about the least controversial artist you can find, just so loved all across the country. She's also considered to be a very "Finnish voice". This is one of her biggest hits, Katson sineen taivaan, and this is her representing Finland in Eurovision in 1979.

Vesa-Matti Loiri

Jere's idol. A legendary stage and film actor, comedy performer and a singer. Passed away in 2022. Started his career in the 70's. He is one of those names everyone knows, and almost every generation has something nostalgic they connect to him. This song, Naurava kulkuri, is loosely referenced in Menestynyt yksilö. It's a comedy song that he performs as a character, Jean-Pierre Kusela.

Hyvää puuta is by Vesa-Matti Loiri that became a meme for whatever reason. Referenced by Joost Klein and Jere at Ruisrock.

Juice Leskinen

Considered the father of suomirock. Started his career in music in the 70's, but his influence carries on to this day. I can't think of a more influential name in the world of Finnish pop and rock music. He is considered one of the best lyricists in Finnish music. He wrote both quite dark and quite humourous songs - something I’ve mentioned before as being quite a Finnish thing. One of his most famous songs is Sika, a Christmas song about a pig being slaughtered for Christmas dinner.

I decided to link what I think is probably his most famous song, Syksyn sävel, from 1976.

Quite the example of melancholic Finnish music, as the second line in the song goes “elämä on kuolemista” meaning “(living) life is (about) dying”.

Maarit Hurmerinta

Before we had Käärijä, King of Vantaa, we had Maarit, the Queen of Vantaa. She's an iconic singer some of you might also recognise from the Finnish Beatles Tribute t-shirt Bojan keeps wearing lmao. Her daughter Janna is also a well known and popular singer, you might have seen her in the photos posted when Mikke and Jere went to see Adele. Anyway, this is Maarit’s massive hit Jäätelökesä, originally from 1978, but this live performance must be sometime in the 90's, I think.

Eppu Normaali

Eppu Normaali started out as a punk band in the 70's but mellowed out into a more poprock type direction as time went on. They are also considered part of the Manserock scene of Tampere. They are quite an influential, popular and significant band in the world of Finnish rock, one of those bands everyone knows. This song, Murheellisten laulujen maa, is basically about the generational trauma of being raised a man in a country as emotionally constipated as Finland, and how it drives people to alcohol and violence. This song is originally from 1982, the live performance is from 2010.

Kikka

The foremother of the soft porn vibe later mastered by the likes of Käärijä, Antti Tuisku and Erika Vikman. Her songs were quite naughty and her career in music revolved around entertainment and playfully sexual vibes. She was a huge star in the 1980's but badly mistreated by the media, and unfortunately had a very difficult personal life. She passed away in 2005.

End of part one! We've only reached the 80's, but as you can see, there are already several artists on the list that have a direct connection or are a direct influence on Käärijä/Jere. Everyone on this list so far is a household name, and honestly artists that could be referenced in a Käärijä song any given day.

Part 2 introduces lots of 80's rock from Finland.