#which resulted of him losing control of corruption

[videogamelover99]

Chuuya angst comic at 1AM?? More likely than you think!

Part 2

[bloatedandalone04]

Screaming Whispers

➪the one where anakin is a musician and you’re his muse.

Warnings: rockstar anakin, modern au, smut, fluff, swearing to the max, pda, unprotected sex, hair pulling, praise kink, small corruption kink, size sink, his bands name is 'screaming whispers' which translates to 'sw' for short...like sw for star wars??? and i didn’t even plan that, it just happened, jealousy (brief), possessive anakin, fingering, oral (f receiving), soft dom anakin, choking kink

Word Count: 6.3k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

The lights were blinding and his ears were ringing, but Anakin wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. 

He couldn’t see much past the flashlights on the phones and the stage lights that flickered in time with the drums his bandmate, Vinny, was currently pounding on. Live shows were always so much better than being stuck in a recording studio all day, because at least out on stage Anakin could let out all his pent up frustration and no one would bat an eye.

Actually, the way he got so into his performance and really gave it his all had his fans absolutely losing their minds as they, too, fell under the control of the music and the lights and the lyrics. 

Anakin had only been in his band, Screaming Whispers, for just over a year now, but that was apparently enough time to get his and his friends’ names out there. One low budget album later and everyone knew about them, and really, Anakin had you to thank. 

You are his high school sweetheart, and have been his biggest supporter since the day he told you he wanted to do something with music and maybe try to make it his career. 

After writing countless drafts of songs that were all about you and his relationship with you, Anakin asked a couple of his friends who played instruments to rent out a recording studio to record one of the drafts he had actually finished. 

Anakin was the lead singer and guitarist, while his friend, Vinny, played the drums, and his other friend, Theo, played bass.  

It came out sounding decent and Anakin ended up editing it himself before uploading it to his burner account on Youtube, choosing some random photo he had taken of your hand holding his as the thumbnail. 

Within a few days, the video only had about thirty views, and he knew most of them were from you.

When he had first let you listen to the song with a nervous expression gracing his features, he was worried when you didn’t say anything during the whole two minutes and forty six seconds it played for. 

It ended and you turned to him, an unreadable look on your face before you were throwing yourself at him. He had never seen you so needy and desperate for him (unless he counted the very first time you and he slept together), and you spent the rest of the night loving on him because he had written you a song. 

Your boyfriend of over three years at that point had actually made a whole song about you. How could you not tear his clothes off right then and there?

A few more weeks had passed when Anakin randomly decided to see how the video was doing. He was bored and you were at class, and he had grown tired of walking around your shared apartment on campus by himself. 

When he clicked on the video, he was sure he had accidentally clicked the wrong one when he saw that it had gone from thirty views to ninety eight thousand views. It had over forty thousand likes and just under a thousand comments, all of which were praising him and the guys for how good the song is. 

You once again jumped his bones a few hours later when he showed you it, muttering something about how you knew people would like the song once it got more exposure. 

A month later, it had nearly a million views and Anakin was left to assume that the song had gone viral on a different platform that resulted in people searching the song up on Youtube. He didn’t go on TikTok or Instagram as he had no desire to, but was informed by Theo that the song actually did become super popular on TikTok and that was how so many people had found the video on his Youtube. 

Since it had gotten way more attention than he had ever expected it to, Anakin quickly changed the channel name from ‘Manakin 246’ to ‘Screaming Whispers’. It was the first thing he thought of and both Vinny and Theo agreed to call themselves that if they were to ever record another song together. 

Well, just a few days after that, the trio was contacted by a record label and a week later, they were signed onto Dynamic Studios as an official band. 

It all happened so fast. Anakin was encouraged to finish and edit his previous drafts, and that was how he found himself recording a whole album with most of the songs being about you. Vinny and Theo helped out a lot with the songs, but insisted Anakin be credited as the lead songwriter, since the whole thing was his idea. 

The album was called ‘Taking Back October’, and it had been streamed over three million times over various music sites. That, of course, resulted in a tour being booked, and that was where he is now. 

A full year after uploading that song and three months of being on tour, Anakin could safely say he was meant to do this. 

But the best part of it all? He had you watching him from your spot backstage, the biggest smile on your lips whenever he looked over at you from his place on the center of the stage. 

From where you stood, he looked to be having the time of his life. He looked so in his element, so confident and comfortable, and not to mention unbelievably attractive. 

You found yourself biting your lip as you hid away from the crowd. Part of you wondered how he did it, how he was so at home in front of thousands of strangers, but you supposed some people were just meant for the spotlight, and Anakin is definitely one of those people. 

You definitely were not, as just the mere thought of stepping out onto the stage would send you into a full blown panic attack. And Anakin knew that, so despite him wanting to show you off to the world and to his fans - he couldn’t believe he actually has fans - he knew better than to shove you into the limelight like that. 

For now, you were comfortable backstage, two lanyards around your neck that told everyone you were a guest on the tour, and that you were allowed backstage. 

As you watched your boyfriend play and sing his heart out to his song Homecoming Queen, one of the stage crew members came waltzing up to you, a kind yet flirtatious smile on his lips. “Hi,” he said over the loud live music. 

“Hi,” you called back, never taking your eyes off Anakin. 

The guy looked down at your tour and backstage passes, a smirk growing on his lips. “You a friend of the bands?”

That made you glance over at him, and you were immediately uncomfortable at the way he was looking at you. “Something like that,” you answer, and it was true - Vinny and Theo had also gone to high school with you, but they were closer to Anakin, obviously - but the crew member didn’t seem too convinced. “I’m dating the lead singer, this song is actually about me.” You try again and watch as his eyes grow wide before he’s looking on stage and at your boyfriend.

He meets Anakin’s blue orbs, and right away you could see a hint of possessiveness in them, similar to the look he’d give other guys when they looked at you for a little too long back in high school. 

The crew guy just backs away and leaves you alone, making you grin over at your boyfriend. Anakin just smirks before he is back to singing the chorus, all while never falling out of tune with the rest of the band. 

Even though you were buzzing with excitement for what’s in store for you once he’s off the stage and you’d have him all to yourself, you couldn’t deny how attractive he looks on stage. 

The show had been going on for just over an hour, and they would be wrapping up soon. Anakin’s skin was coated in a light layer of sweat, and the leather jacket he had been wearing when he had first walked out on stage had long since been discarded. His muscles flexed under the flashing lights as he effortlessly played his electric guitar and sang his heart out. 

You were sure his throat was raw, but he didn’t stop, and the fans were loving it. You also couldn’t take your eyes off the way the muscles in his neck strained as he reached the higher notes of the song, and you had to press your thighs together to feel some sort of relief for the pressure that had been steadily building up. 

After another ten minutes or so, the band wrapped up the performance and left the stage, leaving the fans still screaming in the stands. After Anakina picked up his jacket he tossed near the drum kit, he handed his guitar to the same stage crew member who had been talking to you, before he wrapped his free arm around your waist. 

Your hands were barely touching either side of his face before he was kissing you deeply, the hand that held his jacket moving to grip your waist. Anakin pulled you closer to him, his adrenaline making his body ache for yours in hopes to find some sort of relief for the energy that surged through him. 

“You were amazing out there,” you praised against his mouth, wanting nothing more than to poke your tongue out and run it up the side of his damp neck. “Like always.”

“Thank you, pretty girl,” he murmured, brushing his lips against yours before dipping his head down to kiss your neck. His hands bunched up the thin fabric of your loose sundress, the flowery print making his want for you skyrocket. “You look hot.”

You laugh, glancing down at the simple dress that seemed to turn him on as if it was the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. “You look hot,” you say back and brush his slightly wet hair away from his forehead. You had to crane your neck a bit to be able to gaze up into his blue eyes, due to the sheer size difference between the two of you. The physical evidence of just how different you two are, even down to your height, had you pressing your thighs together again. 

He wore dark clothes, most of which are adorned with chains, and his left arm was showing off a steadily growing sleeve of tattoos of random things - a lightsaber, a  couple quotes, more than a few vulgar images, and most importantly, an outline of a heart with the initial of your first name inside it on his bicep. His wardrobe consisted of jeans, muscle tees, leather and jean jackets, and vintage - though sometimes graphic - shirts. He wore black boots or converse to tie off every outfit, completed with a couple of wristbands, rings and his signature necklace chain with your initials on the small charm. 

You wore light colors, dresses and skirts that allowed you to show off the soft skin of your legs. Your body was bare of tattoos, with the exception of an ‘A’ on the side of your left wrist. Gold and silver jewelry were always on your wrist or around your neck, and you often wore flats or sneakers that went well with the rest of your look.

It was a big difference between the two of you, one that had been there since you were both seventeen, and it was what drew you into one another to begin with. 

He looked intimidating, scary, even, but you found out that he had the sweetest heart, and he had given it to you.

“I am hot,” he grinned down at you, and the double meaning had you shaking your head as he stepped away from you and placed his jacket over your shoulders. He looked you up and down, biting down harshly on his bottom lip as his hands found their home on your waist again. The black leather contrasted against your light dress in such a sinful way, Anakin almost let out a groan at the sight. “Fuck, I can’t wait to take you back to the hotel after this.”

The band was playing two shows in D.C., so their manager went out of her way to book them a hotel for the night. It saved them from sleeping on the tour bus, which was surprisingly difficult to do, and Anakin could usually fall asleep anywhere. 

He once fell asleep sitting down with his back pressed up against a washing machine in the laundry room at your apartment while he was waiting for the load to dry. He probably would’ve been sleeping for at least another half hour, had another resident not woken him up because he was sleeping against the only available washing machine. 

But, for some reason, Anakin found that sleeping on a tour bus was next to impossible, even though he was given the only double bed because he had you with him.

So, in an attempt to get himself tired, he would spend a good hour with you in bed once he and the band got back on the bus after a show. 

He could only imagine how happy Theo and Vinny are at the fact that they won’t have to listen to the two of you going at it for at least one of the two hundred and fifty nights they spent on tour. 

“Yeah? You excited to spend a night with me in an actual room instead of a bus?” You teased, wrapping your arms around his shoulders when his wrapped around your waist and pulled your body right up against his. 

“I’m so fucking excited,” he answered, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips as the stage crew walked around the two of you to begin packing up the equipment. He leaned down so his lips were brushing against your ear as he whispered, “We can be as loud as we want. I can’t wait to make you scream.”

You refrain from moaning in a public place, ignoring how dumb that sounded when you thought about how loud you got on a tour bus that had only a single, thin door that separated yours and Anakin’s room from the other guys. 

This man made you crazy in all the best possible ways. “Well,” you say back, tugging him impossibly closer by the hem of his white tee shirt. “What are you waiting for? An encore?”

Anakin groaned quietly, cursing under his breath when he felt your hand slide up the heated skin of his torso. “Fuck no,” he muttered, taking your hand in his and guiding you towards the exit door that would lead the two of you out to the parking lot. “I think if everyone in that audience could see just how good you look right now, they wouldn’t blame me for not going back out there and taking you to bed.”

You smirked a bit as he pulled you onto the bus with him and towards your room to indulge in a makeout session before he would give you the real thing once you got to the hotel. 

A short ten minute drive later, and Anakin was painfully aware of just how hard he’s gotten since your quick encounter backstage, followed by your intense making out that took place on the bus. 

Once his manager had given him the key to his room, Anakin pulled you along with him as he made his way to the elevator, pushing the button for the twelfth floor when he was in it. 

He leaned back against the wall as the numbers above the doors increased with every passing second. His lips were on yours in messy and noisy kisses, his hands sliding down to lift the bottom of your dress up as if you weren’t still in a public place, and were probably being recorded because every elevator seemed to have cameras nowadays. 

Once it stopped at the twelfth floor, Anakin easily picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, his hand placed firmly on your back to prevent your dress from slipping up and exposing you to anyone who might enter the hall while he carried you to the room.

He inserted the keycard for room 1209 with his free hand, before tossing it onto the table in the entryway. Anakin’s hands grip your waist after he sets you down and he turns your body away from him, his fingers sliding up your back and pushing your hair to the side. He unclasps the gold necklace he had bought you a few nights ago from a cute store you and he stumbled upon while you were out sightseeing. 

Anakin gently sets the chain down onto the table as well and places a few kisses to the back of your neck before he guides you forward and towards the king sized bed. “Look at that, baby,” he murmurs in your ear, wrapping his arms around you from behind. Since you had discarded his jacket back on the bus, his lips had free rein over the skin of your shoulders and neck as he sucked a few light marks onto it. “It’s bigger than our bed we have at home.”

Home. It seemed like so long ago, when in reality, Screaming Whispers had only been on tour for three months now. Anakin planned on using the money he would get from the tour and the shows to officially move in with you, in your own house, not a student apartment that was on the campus of his old college. 

You were still a student there, but had opted to get all your assignments done before the tour so you could save yourself from having to give up the school year. 

Humming, you lean back against his body. “We still need to get our bags from the bus,” 

Anakin sucked on the skin of your jaw as his hands pulled at the thin fabric of your dress. “I’ll get our stuff later,” he promised, sliding his hands up the front of your body, making chills take over you as he gripped your chest. “You look so fucking pretty, baby.” 

You hum again, closing your eyes when you feel one of his hands inch lower and lower until it disappears underneath your dress. “Just for you, Ani,” you whispered as he softly rubbed your clit through the thin lace of your panties. 

He kissed your shoulder in appreciation as his hand slipped past the lace, his ring-clad middle finger dipping into your heat. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he nearly moaned, his free arm wrapping around your middle when he felt your body slump back against his. “So wet for me.”

“Ani,” you gasped quietly, moaning when he began to pump his finger in and out of you. The lace restricted him from going super hard, but he much rather preferred to work you up to that, anyway. “Fuck, it’s all for you. You looked so hot tonight.”

“You look hot, too, pretty girl,” he mumbled and removed his hand from your panties as he spun your body around so your chest was pressed to his. “I saw the way that crew guy was looking at you.”

You moaned quietly when his knee separated your legs, his thigh rubbing against your core through his jeans. “I said I was with you,” you weakly say, gripping his biceps tightly when his hands found your waist and began sliding your body up and down his thigh. “Said I’m yours.”

“You are mine,” he rasped, pressing a searing kiss to your lips before he gently shoved you away. The backs of your knees hit the end of the bed and you fall back onto it, your dress slipping up past your thighs and revealing the pastel pink lace that covered your core. “You’ve been mine since we were seventeen.”

You bite down harshly on your lip when he pulls the lace down your legs and drops it to the floor. “Oh, fuck,” you mumbled when he ran his tongue up your folds, eagerly collecting your wetness. 

Anakin glanced up at you, his eyes narrowing at the way you were refraining from being too loud. “No, Y/n,” he says sternly, bringing a hand up to slide his index and middle fingers into you. “We have this whole room to ourselves. I want you to be as loud as you can fucking get.”

Almost instantly a loud moan escapes you when he sucks on your clit, your back arching slightly when he began to fuck his fingers into you. Those skilled fingers, the same ones that had so effortlessly played the guitar in front of thousands of people just a half hour before. “Fuck, Ani. Fuck,” you whined.

Anakin smirked against you, curling his fingers once they are knuckle deep within you. The calloused tips brush against your walls and make you squeeze your eyes shut, finding it hard to believe that a year before all this, the skin of his fingers was smooth and gentle as he only played guitar in his free time before he made a career out of it.

Over a year of playing it non-stop had hardened his fingers and was a blessing in disguise, as they had never felt better when they were buried deep within you. 

“God, it feels so good,” you whimpered as he traced the letters of his name with his tongue onto your clit. “So fucking good, Ani.”

He hummed, sending vibrations up your core and making your mind go into a frenzy. “Louder, baby,” he softly demanded, moving back up your body and hovering over you while his hand picks up the pace a bit. “I want this whole floor to complain about us tomorrow.”

You were so turned on, you couldn’t even bring yourself to be embarrassed about the sounds your core was making as his fingers plunged into it repeatedly. Not that Anakin ever let you feel embarrassed about it, seeing as he prided himself on how wet he makes you every time he goes out on stage. 

“I know you want it, too,” he continues as he stared down at your fucked out expression. “Admit it.”

“I want it,” you managed to say as his thumb began rubbing circles on your clit in time with his fingers. The coolness from his ring contrasted against your searing heat, making the knot in your abdomen steadily form. 

Anakin smirked down at you, leaning in to run his tongue along the skin under your ear. “Want what?” 

“God,” you groaned as he pumped his fingers in and out of you at a brutal pace. “I want everyone on this floor to know who makes me feel so good, Anakin. I want them all to complain about how loud we are.”

Anakin was satisfied with your answer, “That’s my girl,” and he leaned down to begin sucking various marks onto the skin of your neck, the sounds you were emitting going straight to his dick that throbbed against his jeans. He didn’t think he could ever get tired of hearing all the sweet sounds you made just for him, and had been making for him since you were in high school. 

“Anakin,” you moaned, lifting your hips in time with the movement of his hand. “Please, please, don’t stop.” Your lips brushed against his as you begged him to keep fucking you with his skilled fingers. 

He hummed, kissing you deeply. “You gonna come for me?” He asked, already knowing the answer as he felt the way you clenched around his fingers every time your walls sucked him back in. 

“Yes,” you nearly whispered, a crease forming in your brow as the coil in your stomach was a mere few seconds away from snapping. “Please.”

“Come for me, pretty girl,” he requested, his voice deep and sultry next to your ear. “I want it all over my hand.”

You were unable to deny him his wish as you came hard, your thighs shaking slightly and your mouth opening to let out a long and loud moan. Your head dipped back into the middle of the bed, your fingers twisting tightly in the soft comforter as he slowed down the thrusts of his hand until you were whimpering quietly. 

“Just like that, baby,” he praised, kissing you once before removing his fingers from inside you. He brings his hand up to his mouth and sucks the digits clean as he moves back down your body. Anakin licked a single strip up your slick core before standing up, smirking at the way your whole body shook at the action. 

You weakly propped yourself up on your elbows, watching him pull his belt from his jean loops. He drops it to the floor, the sound of the buckle hitting the hardwood making your head swim with thoughts of what’s in store for you next.  

“Take that pretty dress off, baby,” he said under his breath, reaching behind him to pull off the white tee and leaving it to join the growing pile of clothes on the floor. You quickly lifted yourself up so you were kneeling on the bed, your hands fumbling to tug off your dress. Anakin gives you a soft smirk at how obedient you always are for him as you tossed the dress off the side of the bed, kicking his jeans down his legs and leaving him in his tight boxer briefs. 

You gave him a look that nearly had him falling to the floor as he moved forward and kneeled on the bed in front of you, making you crane your neck to be able to stare up at him. Your hands reach up and tug on the hair on the back of his neck, pulling his head down so his mouth could meet yours. 

Moaning quietly against his lips, you arch your back when you feel his hands slide up to unclasp your matching pink bra. He pulled it from your body, leaving you completely bare to his lust filled eyes. He let out a low growl as his hands slid back down to your hips. “Lay back, pretty girl,”

You oblige quickly, laying further up on the bed and resting against the soft pillows. “Please, Anakin,” you whined as he rubbed his still covered dick against your heat. “Fuck me.”

Anakin groaned as he shoved his boxers down, gripping your thighs and tugging them up until they were draped over his. “I’ll fuck you, baby,” he promised, running his tip over your wetness and coating himself in it. “I’ll fuck you so good, make sure everyone knows who made you come.”

“Fuck, yes,” you gasped just as he thrusted himself into you without warning, making you reach out to grip his forearms. Still on his knees, Anakin began fucking into you at a brutal pace, pouring all his leftover energy from the show into the way his hips hit yours. “God, yes.”

Anakin gripped your waist tightly, his eyes drifting from the way your breasts bounced with each thrust to your face as it twisted up in pleasure. “Say my name,” he demanded, burying himself to the brim and pausing there.

Your body tensed up, your stomach muscles flexing as he kept your hips pressed to his. “Anakin,”

“Louder,” he ordered, repeating the action. 

“Anakin!” You shouted, and it was followed by a string of moans as he resumed rocking his body against your own. “God, Anakin, you’re so deep. So deep in me.”

He grunted at your filthy words, the faint sound of the headboard hitting the wall making the whole scene look like it was straight out of a porno. “Fuck, you’re taking me so well,” he praised, reaching one hand up to pinch at your sensitive nipples. He felt you clench around him as he worked on hardening your peaks, his pace faltering just slightly at the tightness of your walls. “Always take me so well.”

“I love you, Anakin,” you whimpered, arching your back and pushing your chest up against his hand. 

He groaned at your sweet words, placing his hands flat against the comforter on either side of your head from where he knelt above you. “I love you so much,” he said back, speeding up his pace. “I’ve loved you for four years now, baby.”

“Nearly five,” you reminded him with a cry of pleasure. “We’ve been together for almost five years, Ani.”

“I know, princess,” he murmurs, leaning further down to press his lips to yours in a gentle kiss, a big contrast to the way his lower body was currently destroying yours. “How could I ever forget about the day you became mine?” 

“Best day of my life,” you mumbled when he leaned back again, digging his knees into the bed as he all but railed into you. “Fuck, you feel so good, Anakin.”

“You’re so tight,” he responded, making your stomach twist with a need to please him forever. You were vaguely aware of the loud smacking of the headboard now, and the way the picture that hung above the bed was tapping with each thrust of his hips. It only fueled your desire for him as your hands gripped the comforter once again. 

Your previous orgasm rendered you a bit more sensitive than normal, so you weren’t all that surprised to feel that knot begin to tighten once more. “Fuck, you’re going to make me come again,”

“Yeah? You’re going to come all over me again?” He mocked slightly, only making your head swim with dizziness at how dirty the whole event is. “I want it. Come all over me, pretty girl, nice and messy.”

Your eyes rolled back just a bit when he reached one hand up to press his fingers against the base of your neck. A strangled moan escaped you as you clenched helplessly around him.

You didn’t think you would ever get used to how he was in bed, versus how he  was out of it. He was sweet, kind and caring with you outside the bedroom, but inside it he was rough, loud and determined to get you off in any way he possibly could. The difference was almost too much to handle. 

A few more deep thrusts later and your core was flooding around him, noisily sucking him in deeper and alerting him of your second orgasm. “That’s it, baby,” he praised, watching as his dick became even more coated in your wetness. It spurred him to speed up the pace so he could reach his own release. “Good fucking girl.”

“Anakin,” you struggled to say as your body shook with overstimulation. “Ani, come, baby, please.”

It wasn’t the first time he had you begging him to come in you, but it still had his head going fuzzy for a second or two, as well as made him twitch inside you. “You want it?” He asked through a clenched jaw, his neck muscles straining as he tried to hold off for a little bit longer. 

“Yes,” you answered, powerless against his sharp thrusts as you took each one. “I want it so bad.”

“Fuck, princess,” he muttered, his pace slowing down as his own release flooded through him. With a couple slow thrusts into your greedy core, he fucked his seed deep within you. 

He falls onto the bed next to you a few seconds later, his chest heaving and a light layer of sweat adorning his skin, mirroring the way he looked on stage an hour or so prior to this. 

Anakin was a lot more drained now than he was before, and he knew that if he were to stay in bed for much longer he would probably pass out with you wrapped in his arms. 

He lifted himself up and pressed a soft kiss to your mouth, murmuring an “I’ll be right back,” against it before he dressed himself in his shirt and jeans, grabbing the keycard on his way out to retrieve both yours and his bags from the bus. 

-

The next day, after spending most of the morning wrapped up in the sheets together, you and Anakin finally decided to get up. 

Kind of.

He was currently propped against the headboard, eating a piece of toast with you on his lap. His acoustic guitar he brought with him was placed in your lap as you softly ran your fingers against the strings, leaning back against his bare chest. You were nowhere near as talented as he is with the instrument, and you knew it would sound awful if you were to try and play it without his guidance. 

“Mm,” he hummed when you plucked one of the strings at his request, tossing the crust of the toast onto the plate that was next to him on the bed. He would usually be more careful so there wouldn’t be any crumbs in the sheets, but he was checking out of the hotel before tonight’s show, so he decided to leave it to the cleaning staff as he knew they would be washing the sheets anyway. “That’s the B string, baby, not the D string.”

“And I’m supposed to know that…how?” You asked as he wrapped his arms around your middle. 

“Well, I’ve only been playing guitar for the entire length of our relationship,” he teased as he placed his right hand over yours. He guided your thumb to one of the middle strings and gently brushed it against it. Of course, it sounded a lot better because he was the one who controlled how much pressure and the pace of your thumb against the string. “That’s the D string.”

You refrained from rolling your eyes at the cockiness in his voice as you strummed along the string again, this time sounding a bit better than before. 

“There you go,” he praised, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as a reward. “That was good.”

You turn your head to give him a small glare. “You’ve never been a good liar,” you mutter. “Especially when it comes to lying to me, it’s why you could never get away with cheating.”

Anakin scoffed, “I would never,”

You shake your head with a dumb grin on your lips as he guides your fingers to strum the tune he had been going over in his head for the past few days. You let him take full control over the way he moved your fingers, noting the soft humming of an unfamiliar song leaving the back of his throat. “New song, Ani?” 

He shrugged from his spot behind you, leaning down to press a kiss to your bare shoulder, your tank top doing very little to cover your skin from him. “Maybe,” he answers as he begins to kiss up your neck, not even needing to look down at the strings to be able to play them perfectly. 

It made you a bit lightheaded, how hot and talented he truly is. “What’s it going to be about?” You ask, eyes glued to the way he effortlessly helped you play the guitar while also holding a conversation with you. His talent always surprised you, despite knowing early on how skilled he is with the instrument. 

“You, obviously,” he replied and you rolled your eyes. “What else would I write a song about?”

“You’re too much,” you say and he laughs quietly, agreeing with you as he goes back to mumbling potential lyrics in your ear. 

A few hours go by and it’s nearing the time for Anakin and the band to head onto stage. He smoothes out his graphic tee and smirks at the way you cowered behind the large speaker, eyeing him with your lip caught between your teeth. 

“God, Ani, you look good,”

“Me?” He asked and reached his hand out to you, pulling you into his arms once you took it. He played with the end of your pink and white skirt, eye fucking you a mere few minutes before he had to go perform in front of thousands of people. “I bet Vin and Theo are so jealous that it was me who got to take you to bed last night, in an actual room.”

You loosely wrap your arms around his shoulders, gazing up at him. “I bet all your fans are jealous that it’s going to be me who gets you all to herself after the show,”

Anakin hummed lowly, pressing a kiss to the skin under your ear. “I’d be jealous, too, if the hottest girl took me home,” he rasped. “Or in our case, took me back to that stupid bus.”

You laughed, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. Since you had applied a cute pink lip to go with your skirt, a stain was left on his skin when you pulled away. “Oh, sorry,” you say and lift your hand up, but pause when his fingers wrap around your wrist. 

“Don’t you dare try to wipe that off,” he ordered with a smirk. “I think it completes my look.”

And it really did. A black snapback was placed backwards on his head, a vintage shirt covered his chest and exposed his sleeve of tattoos, dark jeans with a few chains connected to the belt loops hugged his legs, and black boots gave him the daunting appearance of someone who was born to be on stage. 

The pink lipstick mark only added to the whole thing.

“Okay,” you swallow harshly, stepping away once Vinny handed him his guitar. “Have a good show.”

“I love you,” he called out as he placed the strap over his shoulder. “I’ll see you soon.”

When he made his grand entrance, the crowd seemed even louder than normal, and you could only hope at least some of them were able to see your mark on his cheek as you hid behind the speaker and watched your boyfriend get lost in his element.

-

Series based off this fic

[nautilusopus]

okay FIIIIIINE i'll throw my hat into the Goncharov ring

Been a while i've done a proper movie breakdown, may as well be this one.

Rather surprisingly (but perhaps not too surprisingly given the unexpected renaissance of things like the original Dracula and Breaking Bad on this website out of seemingly nowhere and with very little prompting), I'm seeing a lot of new people suddenly interested in Martin Scorsese's seminal film classic Goncharov, originally released in 1973. Obviously a movie like that doesn't make it coming up on 50 years without generating a lot of discussion about the different ways the movie resonates and why, but coming into it in 2022 there's been so much cultural cruft that's collected around Goncharov that (similar to stories like Fight Club and Scarface) it's a little hard to parse what it's actually about with all the mythologising that's gone on around the characters.

Those movies, in one way or another, are about portraying the downfall of their protagonists -- Fight Club's after ironically creating another system of control and dehumanisation and becoming what he sought to destroy, Scarface's after being consumed by the wealth and power he's amassed. A lot of people assume it's that kind of story, because aren't most well-loved movies? However, I think this is ironically an assumption made because of the genre of film it is. All the people that aren't going, "OMG Goncharov is so cool and badass and fucks bitches," are going, "WOW I can't believe Goncharov is a cautionary tale about power corrupting," and in the process people miss that Goncharov is first and foremost about loss, in all its different forms.

I'm both kind of surprised and frustrated people miss this, given how utterly pervasive the movie is with its clock symbolism -- it's the one thing everyone remembers about it, it was in all the tie-ins. I dunno, maybe that got funneled back into the theory where they're meant to reinforce how Goncharov is just a mortal man at the end of the day, which is fine I guess, but the movie overall becomes a lot clearer when you interpret it through the lens of, "These things are gone and you can never get them back; clocks don't go backwards."

One of the most fascinating things about the movie is how every character embodies a different kind of loss. I'm gonna ease into this and start not with Goncharov but with:

Rybak, who is usually associated with loss as we typically think of it, i.e. the loss of loved ones via death. This comes up all the time, either in his trust issues (why he's being such a prick at the wedding), in the card game (he never bothers to bet much money, knowing he's bad at poker, and still loses all the same). Rybak is terrified of loss, cannot manage it, and ultimately is punished by losing what few people he had left and then being spared by Lorenzo who deems him punished enough, and is forced to survive, to grapple with what his life is now without them.

Goncharov's is actually more subtle, and it's loss of small, insignificant things as a result of the larger losses he believes he's processed. This is something that's frequently contrasted against Rybak. The pawn shop going under is actually a microcosm of this whole thing. Goncharov anticipates that this is obviously going to lead to financial issues for him, plans accordingly to deal with this, and... it works! He's saved! Except that means card games can't be hosted at his place anymore, given it's burned to the ground. Does this matter, in the grand scheme of his life? No, of course not. Poker night still gets had all the same. But it is different now, and always will be. Little things like this continue to add up, until something as insignificant as a towel -- a towel that never should have been in his room, but Sofia is no longer there to drop off his laundry and chat with him -- is ultimately the final nail in a coffin built of insignificant splinters, each one an imperceptible change underneath the much more larger, noticeable story beats of things like grief.

Otto is the big obvious one I'm not gonna linger on: loss of his youth, moments in the past that he wants to redo but can't. Most people at least seem to have gotten this one.

(This is also what the clocks get associated with a lot, which again, doesn't NOT make sense but also if it were just for this one character that, while thematically important, was honestly just a side character with limited screentime and only two scenes, would they really be all over the movie before Otto's name is even mentioned?)

Sofia's a bit abstract, and is the loss of self -- of the familiar anchors we have to who we are, what we think our core principles are, our place in society, who we want to be to our loved ones -- and by the time she dies she is rendered utterly unrecognisable to herself, and is horrified by it. She grieves herself the same way Rybak grieves his wife (even gets a direct visual callback via the way her face is lit when she's burning Lorenzo's check). You see echoes of this in Goncharov as well, but while Sofia is grieving the person she used to be, Goncharov is grieving the world around him (even though really, it's the same world it always was -- time keeps ticking on, one second per second, and neither one of them can ever un-fire that gun).

Lorenzo, tragically, gradually loses his freedom (and maybe in a parallel world would actually be the protagonist of a movie where he chokes on his own hubris like everyone seems to think Goncharov is GRUMBLE GRUMBLE). As he comes into his own more and more by his family's legacy, he is afforded fewer and fewer options about what decisions he can even make. Arguably he was doomed from the start, but the further he clings to power as a means to freedom, the more it drives him to destroying everything he ever (thought he) cared about. The tragedy of his character, and what makes him a good villain, is that he can clearly see what he is doing to himself and he absolutely hates it (his walking out early at the wedding is a tacit admission of this), but his absolute refusal to accept loss, to accept grief and pain and all the awful shit that comes with the human condition, is what causes him to toss aside every out he has because if he has enough CONTROL over his situation, surely he will never have to lose anything ever again. But, really, he already has.

I dunno. Goncharov is one of those movies that is great, and everyone seems to realise it's great, but nobody ever really puts into words why, and that's how you get Fight Club fans lmao. And it sucks because the actual discussion around the movie beyond "it's another hubris story but REALLY GOOD guys" is so much more fascinating and a much more earnest emotional truth that just never gets talked about.

[flxfthm]

I don't know if you ever said it before, but do you think Gabriel was a good villain?

mmm i guess the answer is yes because i think he's a good character? and the things that make him a "bad" villain are intentional flaws and weaknesses that make him more human. he's arrogant, short-sighted, and all his wins are attributed to outside help from nathalie, tomoe, or even felix !!! but he's not really meant to be seen as a schemer, as the way he exerts power over people is through his status. as he claims in pretention and as felix highlights in his play, the empire he's built and the resources he has access to make him the most intimidating, it's about "gabriel agreste" as a symbol of influence, who can control people in more ways than one.

he shines the most in S5 as he fully loses it and his dehumanization of adrien reaches ridiculously cruel extremes with the alliance rings, which are one of my personal favorite visual metaphors in the show altogether. it's sort of what i'm getting at, that you can see gabriel increasingly more corrupt with every passing season, and with that he also loses all the plausible deniability he was operating with from the start. the agreste story arc of S1-S5 is ultimately about questioning the consequences of our choices and the power we each hold as individuals, and gabriel is a physical manifestation of our worst possible selves. he's unapologetically selfish from his first to last appearance and even when he seems to come to recognize the results of his insanity, he cowardly leaves marinette to clean up his mess & deal with the aftermath.

while nathalie snapped out of it earlier than him & tried making amends for her actions by doing the bare minimum for adrien with the time she had left, and as felix ended up trading his cynicism for a positive outlook through the power of love, gabriel remained stubborn in his ways and his goal changed from the noble-sounding promise to reunite his family to, like, sticking it to those morally righteous brats as he grew mad with power. like akumas are people possessed by their negative emotions, gabriel is consumed by his regrets without even realizing it, and he's a cautionary tale for marinette to remember so that she doesn't end up like him. felix got to find out for himself pretty quickly how it felt becoming the monster that he thought his father was, that gabriel agreste was, and he immediately changed his path. but for marinette, whose life mirrors gabriel's own, the stakes are much higher and she's yet to come to terms with whether the choices she made in the S5 finale & london special were morally reprehensible after all. even with his physical disappearance, gabriel's control of the media, the people, and his son, have all been passed down to marinette and he still lives on through her. she could arbitrarily sympathize with felix's motivations as they both fought for adrien's sake and eventually their own romantic interests, but this time she's in a situation that would greatly affect and endanger her own life, and that's where the question initially posed to gabriel comes back to her - how far is she willing to go to keep things as they are, and how long will it be before she's also consumed by regrets?

the marinette/felix/gabriel spectrum really fascinates me because these characters have a ton of flaws in common as well as a similar way of thinking, and the distinction only lies in how instilled those mindsets are, and how easy or hard it would be to change them. marinette is always second-guessing, always unsure of herself; felix knows who he is, he has causes he vehemently advocates for but he's willing to make the occasional sacrifice or two if they'll benefit him in the long run, and he'll learn from past mistakes when things blow up in his face - and as for gabriel? he never makes any compromises, never reflects on himself, not once does he try and make an attempt until it's too late to change things.

and the way all of this ties with the show's message definitely makes him an incredible villain to me. thematically, he archieved his purpose in miraculous' first story arc and was an amazing nemesis to the main character. my only real complaints are only about how much more could've been done with these parallels while he was still active as the primary antagonist, or how we were only told about gabriel's past in the last minute, even if it was purposefully hidden. however i'm really excited for lila to succeed him as the theme of lies will surely be the most prominent in the second story arc, and i hope i'm correct in assuming that'll mean gabriel replacing emilie as the entity the narrative revolves around.

[mysweetobsessions]

Let me tell you the small details that absolutely floored me in The Penguin, season 1, episode 4 before the next one comes out.

Spoilers ahead.

Sofia’s hand gestures. Before Arkham, Sofia’s gestures are so femenine and scream spoiled rich girl, they even feel performative at times, except when she’s smoking - a habit she keeps after Arkham. Afterwards, polar opposites. Need I mention the eating? Eating and beyond, after Arkham her hands are no longer playing the part of her previous life which is why they feel more free while also more intentional. (Where’s her acting nomination?)

From normal uncontrolled behavior to unhinged controlled behavior. Let me explain. Before Arkham, Sofía can barely hold her emotions in. She loses her temper talking to the reporter both times and she’s on the verge of crying when talking to her dad. It’s all very normal how much she can’t control her emotions. After Arkham, she’s much more controlled. Her actions are more deliberate and thought out despite the fact that they are absolutely mad (honestly, justifiably so). - she only loses it (so far) when she’s confronting Oz over her brother’s murder, but after what we know, it’s hard to blame her.

Family is so important. Until we all betray each other to protect a horrific man. The references from previous episodes now make absolute sense, like why she hated the name “hangman”. Her mention of “young girls not doing so well in the family” (something like this). The mention of not letting men control her. How much she can’t stand her family and the visible urge to kill them every time they spoke to her. Why she loved her brother so much. And the list goes on.

From Oz to Penguin. In a couple short scenes, they showed us how Oz always felt belittled and his ego hurt (when Sofía asks him what’s he doing *inside* the party, because he doesn’t belong there really). How she tells him he’s “just a driver”. We didn’t need to see this a million scenes to get that small things like these were some stones (of many) that created The Penguin character. I’m sure more is coming in this regard.

Clinically sane? It is an impossible situation to try to convince people you are sane when you’ve been deemed clinically insane. Yet what behavior is sane when you are framed and put in a deplorable place like Arkham? What do you do when the truth is more complicated and sounds less plausible than the lie? Our minds are made to accept what sounds simpler and makes a more coherent story. Proving her competence becomes an impossible task, especially when she is slowly actually losing her mind from the conditions that would make anyone unhinged. I felt her frustration. (I could not personally figure out how I’d manage this if it were real. Anyone got ideas? Share ‘em with me.)

Arkham “rehabilitation”. I know it’s an asylum but it’s also a prison. We been knew that these places probably make more criminals than they “rehabilitate” but damn if that entering sequence wasn’t as dehumanizing as intended. The corruption inside it to top it all off… Even just the noises and screams that would drive anyone mad. (A point for abolishing the prison system here).

Trust is a bitch. Sofía’s downfall is her ability to trust, that’s how I see it. She wants to trust the people around her despite what she’s been through. This shows that a side of her is desperate to find someone to either give her the trust she seeks or to prove her wrong that people can’t be trustworthy. From another angle, this could be seen as her reliving her trauma, by trusting people (or the penguin) over and over as if to try and change the end result (the betrayal). Either way, it kills me.

I’m sure there are other things many people loved but this episode was absolutely fantastic and these are my favorite things about it.

[itzzaira]

Withering Butterflies || future Michelangelo story

TW: Spirits, main character is dying and is aware of this. Mention of passed loved ones (who are also confirmed to be just fine and here)

When a mystic warrior is close to death, no matter the cause or reason of their passing- there are signs.

Signs their mystic magic sends out because it can sense that death is near, that it won't be long before it's time to leave the mortal realm, that their clock is almost done ticking. Such signs could be exhaustion, illness, a following sense of doom, weakened mystic magic, losing control of said magic, mystic aging, increase in visions-

Seeing spirits.

Not like his ancestors whom he tried to talk with on purpose. No, in his everyday life.

This is what they would call Mystic Sickness.

It didn't matter what you died off- it could be because of mystic magic, an attack, it didn't matter. Your mystic energies would sense it. It will let you know. It will make sure you know.

Michelangelo had ignored the signs for as much as he could- the mystic aging was because of the overuse of his ninpo, the exhaustion and loss of appetite was because of said aging, the sense of doom that followed him everywhere was normal they lived in the apocolypse-

He really had ignored it, for as long as he could.

Until the first butterfly had landed on his snout.

The white, glowing butterfly.

Butterflies had gone instinct years ago.

As soon as Michelangelo had seen that first butterfly... he knew he couldn't ignore it anymore.

He was dying.

Hamato Michelangelo was not afraid of death.

He knew he would die much younger than everyone else- he had always known. He was the only mystic warrior the resistance had, the only one who could cure those corrupted by Krang, the only one who could heal, the strongest out of them- which resulted in the overuse of his ninpo. He had assumed it would be his mystic powers that killed him.

He was right.

But no one needed to know that.

Instead of going to Leonardo, like he probably should, Mikey had ignored it. He had ignored how sick he felt, he ignored his hair that fell off in chunks, he ignored the sense of doom that seemed to get worse, he ignored the butterflies that only he could see that followed him everywhere.

...Butterflies that seemed to get more each and each day. The amount of spirits that seemed to be more, much more, following him around-

Until he had sensed the first spirit in Donnie's lab.

"...It is sad to see you sensing me so soon, Michelangelo."

Mikey had just smiled, gently closed the door behind him, and opened his eyes. "Good to see you again, Bary."

"Is it?" The sheep yokai crossed his arms, that same annoyed yet worried scowl on his face that Mikey had missed so much. His body was glowing cyan and his pupils were gone, just like every other spirit he had met until now- did that mean he was Hamato? He wasn't sure, the man didn't have the Hamato symbol- "-because I had hoped to see you hit your forties before you joined us."

Mikey smiled. "Heh... h-hah... hic..."

His smile fell.

He covered his mouth and allowed himself this moment of weakness- letting the orange-glowing tears drip down his cheeks as he slid onto the floor- his legs were too weak to hold him up. Part of the reason he had started floating everywhere. His legs were too weak to stand on.

The butterflies that had been surrounding him went down with him, landing all over his shoulders and head, trying to drink his tears. Michelangelo didn't know what was worse- the fact he was crying like a child... or the fact that the spirits seemed to think they were on the same plane of existence.

"...Oh, child." Draxum bent down next to him- he didn't have any of the old scars he had gotten, Mikey noted. The spirit winced at the orange tears, knowing full well they shouldn't be that color, but didn't comment on it. "You look so tired, Michelangelo."

"I am." The turtle wept, wincing when his tears burned his fingers. He shivered at the sensation of ghostly fingers touching his cheek- it felt cold. So cold.

As cold as he had been feeling, for the past couple of weeks.

Hamato Michelangelo was not afraid of death.

He knew his passing would be painful- probably by his magic ripping him into a thousand tiny pieces, or maybe he would get stabbed or something by Krang- he didn't know. He didn't care.

He foresaw all possible futures, all the possible outcomes, all the possible ways he would wither away. Made sure to be prepared, made sure to fight alone so no one would see him perish. Yet, he was worried.

Worried because until now, he hadn't been able to communicate with any of his family. "Where are my-"

"With your brother." Draxum pulled away, sat down properly, and folded his hands in his lap. "They didn't want to leave, but Leonardo seemed to be having a hard time."

...

"...They're... here?" Mikey could have cried with that knowledge if he hadn't been crying already, but didn't know if that was because of relief or hurt. They had been here? Here? All this time? When he had been searching for his brother's spirits... they had been he here? He... they never left?

They never left them alone.

They hadn't been resting like he'd hoped.

"...Cassandra is here as well," Draxum muttered, recognizing that his adoptive son was getting stuck in his own head again. "She wanted to make sure that Leonardo didn't raise her son to be a, and I quote, 'whimp'."

Mikey snorted. He couldn't help the giggles, covering his mouth with both hands. That sounded like Cassandra alright. She had seen him grow up after all? It... wasn't the best way, but- it was something.

"...Would you like to speak with your father?"

His head snapped up. Mikey looked at the spirit with disbelief, bloodshot eyes blown wide. "...Dad is here too?"

"He never left."

"..." The turtle curled up and winced once his legs ached at the movement. With a flick of his hand, his mystic magic lifted his legs and curled them to his chest. Mikey thought, for a moment... and then shook his head.

"...I doubt I could see him anyway." He mumbled. A butterfly got close to his cheek when a single tear slipped down.

"...I know." Draxum sighed. "I assume I'm the first spirit you're seeing?"

He nodded.

Selfishly, Michelangelo had hoped to find Donatello today, once he sensed the spirit in the lab. But thats okay. He would see him soon enough.

"I'm dying."

Not a question. A statement.

"But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Instead of answering, Michelangelo held out his hand. Another butterfly landed on his finger. Draxum sighed, muttered under his breath, and shook his head. "If you had stopped using mystic magic when I told you to you wouldn't be."

"I was needed." He watched the tiny creature's wings- so fragile, so small- so beautiful. No wonder it hadn't survived this world. "I didn't have a choice, Barry."

"Your magic is destroying you as we speak." Another grumble. "Your future visions are getting out of hand."

The turtle couldn't help it- he cracked a smile. "...You know about those?"

"You wake up floating in the air surrounded by mystic particles and many spirits all around you." The man crossed his arms. "I'm surprised Leonardo hasn't noticed yet."

"I don't want him to know." Mikey cringed when he felt some hair slip down his cloak when he shifted his position to sit more comfortably, then winced when his legs ached. He sighed, defeated. And with the flick of his hand, mystic magic lifted up his legs and crossed them.

Another butterfly settled on his knee.

"...Do you know how you're going to..."

"No." He didn't know if that was good or bad. Michelangelo knew it was important to stay prepared... but he didn’t exactly want to predict his own death. That was just how his visions worked. They were set in stone.

...Which brought up another issue.

"...I can't die yet, Draxum." A single tear slipped down his cheek, which immediately caused a swarm of butterflies to get closer to his face. "I'm needed here."

"You've destroyed yourself doing too much." Blunt, without sugar-coating it- yep, that was Draxum alright. "Your body can't hang on anymore. I'm sorry, Michelangelo."

If he had the energy, the turtle would fight it.

He would get up, say something about how you needed to do more to take this turtle down, then either get S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. to scan him or attempt to heal himself, fail, find some books, a cure- something.

But he was just so tired.

Hamato Michelangelo was not afraid of death.

He knew what death was. He knew what it felt like. Cold, lonely, dark. At least. That was what death used to be. These days, death seemed warm. Peaceful. Lovely. And even though he couldn't sense their spirits yet, knowing the rest of his family was near and waiting, made it look so so much better. Heck, even the spirits with him right now- they felt cool, sure. But not freezing. This was a nice cool he used to feel when there used to be Summer breezes, offering relief amongst all the heat and allowing him to breathe.

But just as death had changed... so had life.

Life, which used to be joyful and warm and happy and bright, had turned dark and cold and full of grief. Never full, never well rested, always on the move, always dirty, always cold. Being cold bothered him the most, for some reason. Probably because instinct kept screaming at him to brumate but the turtle couldn't let himself.

Life had changed. So had death. And the other, brighter side didn't seem as bad anymore.

But...

"What about Leo?"

Draxum turned his head back so quickly, looking shocked and... something else. "...You are the one dying. Let me repeat that. Dying. And you worry about your brother?"

"I can't leave him, Barry..."

"He has April and Casey."

"It's not the same."

When their father had been... lost. The four had been together. They had grieved, they buried him somewhere worthy, they prayed.

When Raph had... left. The three had been there. They had been there the moment the building collapsed on top of him, had been with him as he moved from one plane of existence to the other, unwilling to let go and holding onto each other instead.

When Donnie...

...

"What will happen to them when I'm gone, Barry?" His breath hitched in ways it hadn't done for what felt like eons. His shoulders started shaking as he tried to curl up- but the pain that shot up his legs made him freeze instead, which just. Did it.

He couldn't move his legs. He knew damn well why.

Draxum's expression softened as he watched the turtle fall apart, watched the butterflies land all over his face to try and lap up his tears- it was fine. He could be weak. Just this once.

Hamato Michelangelo was not afraid of death.

Heck, he even longed for the warmth and love on the other side.

But...

Magic lifted his legs so he could curl up as he wanted to, and pulled up his cloak so his head was hidden, ignoring the hair that fell at the action alone. He buried his head in his knees, hugged himself, and- apologized.

How selfish.

To leave this cold, horrible world... when he was still needed here.

Needed by April, who needed her little brother to try and light up others- the only positive thing left.

Needed by Casey, who had lost his mother at such a young age, lost half his uncles, and shouldn't be losing another...

Needed by Leo.

Leo, who still blamed himself for something that wasn't his fault every single day. Leo, who started leading the resistance at such a young age to make up for said thing. Leo, who kept trying to give his portions of food because the younger brother just looked so sickly.

How selfish would he be to leave?

He couldn't do that to Leo. Not to Leo.

"They'll find ways to go on." The yokai mumbled, getting closer and letting a ghostly hand rest on Mikey's shell. It felt cold. A nice cold. But still, the mutant flinched away. No. "They've got each other."

"Leo won't survive, Barry." Mikey cried, looking up- okay the tears were starting to burn. It hurt. But at least that meant he was alive. "He barely did after Donnie. He can't. He won't... Barry. I can't leave yet."

"..." Draxum let a butterfly land on his finger. Looked at the insect, lost in thoughts. "...I'm afraid you do not have a choice."

He knew that. He had known for quite a while, even when the turtle tried to lie to himself and make up excuses for all of his symptoms.

But this...

He couldn't lie to himself anymore. Not for this. There was no other explanation as to why he was seeing spirits.

Hamato Michelangelo was not afraid of death.

He was afraid of what would happen to Leonardo after.

[del-stars]

bitchkiller

‼️ bitchkiller post ‼️

their love for each other is intertwined with jealousy and hatred : they are inseparable. it is the definition of a karmic relationship. they corrupt one another. they take their anger out on one another. they let the other destroy themselves. they become their parents. barty is cruel and controlling, always frustrated when sirius doesn't do what he wants, which he punishes by acting like he doesn't care at all. sirius is dramatic and unreasonable, always blowing up over the smallest things, which he never apologizes for. barty's indifference speaks right to sirius' daddy issues, and sirius' need for barty's attention reminds him of his mother.

but when sirius does have barty's attention, god does he have it. behind closed doors, barty has been known to kiss the ground sirius walks on. complete, pathetic devotion, and sirius eats it right up because he needs it. barty needs something to worship and obsess over, and sirius is addicted to it. when it's good, it's good, and they start clinging on to these moments, even when they become few and far between.

they become so much worse as a result of one another. sirius is easily isolated from all of his friends, which they despise, and barty's ego shoots right through the roof, which his own friends can't stand. when they aren't eyefucking across the great hall, they're having a public screaming match. it's the type of relationship where you completely lose yourself : once sirius sees through the haze of the great sex and the excitement of finally feeling something when they fight, he realises that he doesn't recognise himself at all. barty, who is certifiably a much worse person, has watched this happen with great pleasure. sirius is his, has changed to fit his desires - you can't tell me barty doesn't get off on that.

they break up, and sirius has his healing phase of realising all he's learned from that relationship, and yet they end up in exactly the same place. sirius spends a good long while thinking he's better than barty, and yet their cells in azkaban are facing one another. they are still foils, still mirroring one another, still a reminder of everything they could have become.

[centrally-unplanned]

Richard Hanania is one of my poster child writers for the "he is an complete idiot and also very smart" genre. I disagree with him on virtually everything, particularly core beliefs, but he nonetheless is an actual critical thinker who will come up with and explore interesting ideas, and so he is valuable to follow for exposure to good discussion from a world you are otherwise not gonna touch (and for a good laugh the other half of the time).

This is definitely one of those posts - the US right (not that the left is immune to this by any stretch, this is just about the right) is so infused with an instinct towards perpetual victmization that it becomes easy to buy into their own framing that the Right has been losing front after front in the culture war. This is the foundational premise of The Cathedral, the Moldbug-coined New Right tenet that "Cthulhu Always Swims Left" aka the left's structural advantage in controlling ~institutions~ means that in status-quo modernity culture will shift left over and over, endlessly...and therefore you need to violently overthrow the state and purge the corrupt neoliberal bureaucratic order to realize the will of the silent volke embodied in a CEO-Monarch to turn back the tide. Anyway, Hanania does a good job of pointing out that its really kinda bullshit. Tons of our culture has turned right over the past decades; gun control, education, and economics are the big topics that he mentions, and of course more exist, and its been a result combinations of public opinion shifting and the power of the state implementing agendas, aka normal politics.

Some of this is a bit of an overstatement - victories on like abortion for example haven't shifted minds, but instead exploited the US's ludicrous legal system to back-door legislative reform through the courts, its not a replicable experience in many other contexts or any other country. But the point overall stands, which gestures at the real problem - the only topic where the New Right's analysis 'holds up' is onthe sexual revolution and queer rights, revealing a movement irrationality obsessed with the sex front of the culture war. Here Hanania stumbles into his stupidity on why the right hasn't been successful fighting this, not really grappling with the fact that for example gay marriage is just really popular, this is a bottom-down fundamental sea change in how people view sex and society's role in policing it.

The mistake The Cathedral devotees make in analyzing society is that they take a single sip from a branch of the river of History and assume they have drunk it dry; Society swam left from 1950 to 1980, and the New Right cannot help but obsess endlessly over that transition as The Future. Note how common this is - so many people harken to "the 1950's" as the steady-state idyll of American society, the American economy, identify as 'traditional' everything from holiday songs to food recipes that were all invented around this time and have no older origin than that. Its all myths, and The Cathedral is an extension of that trend - by identifying US society in 1950 as a centuries-old continuity of tradition, it sees the changes of the ensuing decades as a radical discontinuity, and therefore a terrifying new normal.

It is wrong the same way nostalgia-memes are wrong; history never had a steady state, and people's ideas of even the 1950's themselves are primarily myth. Turns out historical conceptions of queer relationships have varied widly across time and space - none have been as progressive as today, but societally sanctioned spaces for queer relationships are legion. There has never been a steady state on sex and society.

But! Modernity *is* different from the past, and certain things have changed irrevocably - there is a verison of The Cathedral that is true. Technology & economic development have radically changed how we lived, from a society of farmers and their rulers to a society of urban professional workers. Cultural norms around sex & society varied all over the place; but (to radically simplify, there are a bunch of other factors) marriage for children to work the farms was near-universal, it was a structural necessity culture was built upon. This was a harsh limiter on sexual norms - said marriage for children needed to undergird it. That limiter is gone, forever, today. To not dive into it because its not the focus, with the limiter gone I don't think the 'sexual revolution', feminism, and queer rights is going to revert in a major way in the future.

Which will permit the right, as long as it stays maniacally obsessed with the idea that people don't have 1950's sexual morality anymore, to claim that they Always Lose. This is why Hanania stumbles, making the opposite mistake - seeing the failure to fight the sexual revolution as just a failed southern offensive in comparison to a successful northern attack on the front of education. The real trap is to not understand that culture is not freely malleable, only some of it is 'up for grabs' from the perspective of activists. Within the new status qup equilibrium of modernity, shifts right and left are not only possible but inevitable - but the rules of game have to be understood. Hanania may have only gotten halfway there, but props to him for opening my eyes to the contradiction.

[weenwrites]

About the Scarlet Witch!Reader, imagine she heard the discussions from the Autobots about her chaos magic powers could lead to destructions and Reader will turn mad with power (which is completely the opposite, she's stable as she can be and kind and generous) and they should "keep an eye of her" in case she'll go crazy and in need to keep on lock her up, which made her feel more outcast from them as much she's outcast from society which depressed her more. One day, in a terrible battle between them and the Decepticons, she "sacrifice" to save them and everyone believe she died with it (but secretly gets away from them in complete isolation from everyone, both humans and Autbots, living in a farm or something), How Team Prime (Op, Ratchet, Ultra Magnus, Bee...your choice) will react of her death and their guilt ?

(P.S, you can add IF Team Prime's reactions IF they EVER heard that she's alive somewhere FAR away from them. would they want to reach her again or....?)

Optimus

Optimus treats them as he would any of the other humans, but he does keep a mental note of Ratchet's (and possibly the government's) concerns about them in mind. But so long as they don't do anything that goes against his morals—or just anything harmful in general, he won't see them as any threat.

When he witnesses them die, he goes beserk. He burns though vehicons faster than they can be deployed, and the Decepticons are forced to withdraw before they lose too many soldiers. Their death affects him like the rest of his team, but it's a bit less noticeable than the others. But when he learns they faked their death, he's... Confused, perplexed, upset—he feels a lot of things. He doesn't understand why they would fake their death, and of course he's upset that they did that in the first place. But that doesn't mean that he's not relieved to hear that they're alright.

While Optimus would like to talk to them, it's difficult for him to find the time to. But depending on whether or not they were someone who concerned the government, he may let agent Fowler know they're alive.

Ratchet

Ratchet's the one who primarily feels as if they're a threat here. He's seen just how twisted and corrupt one can become as a result of power—just look at Megatron for example. However, he doubts that someone as powerful as they are can be contained by any high-tech prison. They can only be contained by something that can rival their own power, which is something that neither the autobots or decepticons. However... They do seem mentally stable and in control of their own powers, so with time his concerns diminish.

But when it comes to their "death"... Even knowing that they're gone—permanently gone—he still feels as if something's off. He knows they're powerful, so surely something like that "sacrifice" wouldn't be enough to kill them. So when he discovers that they're actually alive, a whole surge of emotions rush through him. Anger, relief, confusion, betrayal, and sadness (to which he feels even more upset after learning the reason why they did this.)

Ratchet wouldn't seek them out, he's got mixed feelings about it, and he thinks that leaving them alone would be for the best, given the current situation (ahem, the war).

Bumblebee

Although they're really dangerous, Bumblebee doesn't treat them like they're a ticking time bomb. But of course he does understand that they could potentially become a threat to the team, the kids, and everyone else, and he keeps that in mind, but that doesn't affect how he treats them. He treats them like a normal person, albeit someone who's strong and can take care of themselves just fine—but still a normal person. And he'll continue to do this so long as they're both friends.

When he witnesses them die, he feels worse than distraught. It's clear that their death really got to him with the way his doorwings droop. He genuinely believes they're permanently gone, but the instant he learns they're actually alive he's... Got mixed feelings. On one hand he's really happy and relieved they're alive, and he wants to hug them, but on the other... They faked their death and they never said anything about it. They continued living their life even though they left so many people hurt by their death! He has no idea what he feels specifically, but one thing's for sure, he doesn't think he can forgive them for this. They'll still be friends—that is, if they'd want to be—but he can't forgive them for faking their death.

Bee wouldn't be sure on whether or not he should reach out. On one hand, they faked their death for a reason, perhaps he should just leave them alone? On the other hand he wants to talk about what they did. So, if he can find them, and if he has the time, he'd come by. But if they don't want to talk, he'll leave.

[writerbuddha]

I watched a video on YouTube and it said Anakin and Padmé's relationship in The Clone Wars tv show showed signs of abuse. Do you think that was intentional at all by the writers?

I think that in Star Wars: The Clone Wars:

Anakin Skywalker does exhibit controlling behavior

Controlling behavior is when a person attempts to conform another person to their own needs or desires and trying to get their way by some form of manipulation. It's the outsized desire for control, and it's unhealthy, unhelpful, and may create relationship conflicts, but it's not always abusive. Controlling behavior becomes abusive when it is coercive (threatening). The Clovis Arc of Star Wars: The Clone Wars reveals that Anakin Skywalker exhibited non-coercive, thus, as far as the definition goes, non-abusive controlling behaviors, leading to relationship conflicts with Padmé Amidala. Let's examine them.

In Senate Spy, Anakin's fear of losing Padmé manifests itself in him trying to prevent her from fulfilling the Jedi Council's request to spy on Rush Clovis, "Because it's going to be dangerous. Whoever takes this mission will be putting their life at risk." Padmé, however, points out that she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself: "I've been in many tough situations before. It never seemed to bother you." Anakin ends up declaring: "I'm not gonna let you do it." But in the same time, it's very important to realize that Padmé immediately sets out and defends her boundaries, she repels Anakin's attempt to control her: "You're not going to let me? It's not your decision to make. It's mine."

In The Rise of Clovis, Padmé is asked by Palpatine to "work closely with Rush Clovis" to expose the corruption plaguing the Intergalactic Banking Clan. Anakin is unhappy about this, as he is not trusting him. Padmé tells him that he must trust her judgment on the matter. It should be noted that this time, Anakin's concerns are more founded, but his answer, "Like the last time, hmm? When you almost ended up dead?" is twisting the facts: first, Padmé knew that Clovis is a traitor and that she is risking her life by trying to expose him, second, even as it's true that she was poisoned during the mission, that was the result of Lot Dod tried to force Clovis to comply with his demands. Furthermore, adds, "Or how about you just getting arrested, and it was me who had to bail you out?" Which shows that in his mind, if Padmé chooses to do something risky, it's a poor and unintelligent choice. He ends up saying: "As your husband, I demand that you tell the Chancellor you are stepping down." Once again, he attempts to control Padmé, this time clearly showing that he views their marriage as a bond that supposedly gives him some control over his wife.

NOTICE: The Clovis Arc showed that there is a recurring unhealthy pattern in the relationship between Anakin & Padmé, showing that something must change. All the conflicts between them are arising from Anakin's fear of losing Padmé, which results in him attempting to control Padmé's decisions. In the same time, this behavior is not feeding into a pattern that extends to, and therefore defines every aspects of their relationship. It should also be acknowledged that Padmé is not allowing herself to be controlled and she successfully protects her boundaries and independency. Her reaction to Anakin's controlling behavior clearly tells us that he is not behaving in a way that she is used to, warning him, "we've been over this before." In other episodes, Anakin takes no issue with Padmé participating in the battle on Mon Cala, or with she sneaking to the capital world of the Separatists, thus, it seems that his outsized desire for control flares up from time to time, but it's not defining their dynamic.

Anakin Skywalker is jealous and is distrustful

Jealousy is a negative emotion and attitude focusing on our partner and a third person, in which we resent that person for appearing to take away or being likely to take away the affections of a loved one. Basically, we are scared that we will lose our special relationship to the third person, and as a result, we become intolerant to any rivalry or of possible unfaithfulness. It's not unnatural to experience jealousy in a close relationship, however, it's crucial to be able to manage it.

In Senate Spy, Anakin's attachment and the fear of loss flowing from it causes him to be distrustful and jealous toward Rush Clovis, as he realized that he and Padmé were involved romantically years before. Although in order to fulfill her mission to expose him as a spy, Padmé needs to seduce him, Anakin, disguised as a Naboo pilot, clearly tries to sabotage that. Later, he walks into the room in the moment when Padmé throws herself into Clovis' arms in order to distract him. He is flooded by jealousy, staring at her with anger and in pain. She signals him, revealing that she is actually hiding the data they need. When Padmé and Anakin are leaving with the evidence, Padmé tells him, "I'm sorry", since "I made you doubt me." Anakin answers he "never" doubted her, but this is not exactly true: there was a moment when his emotions clouded his judgment and let them to make him jump to the conclusion that he is losing Padmé to Clovis.

In An Old Friend and The Rise of Clovis, Clovis is back, and so does Anakin's jealousy and insecurities, and this time, they're manifesting themselves more clearly and more disturbingly. He claims, he doesn't want Padmé to work together with Clovis because he is worrying for her safety, but there is more to that: his fear of losing Padmé feeds into anger toward Clovis, who is, in his mind, a threat, both to Padmé and to their relationship, which feeds into burning hatred toward him. When they're together in Padmé's apartment, Clovis makes advances on her, but she firmly turns him down. He is frustrated, asking, "It's that Jedi isn't it?" Padmé insists "there is nothing romantic between" her and Anakin. Clovis says, "Then there is absolutely nothing to stop us from doing this", taking her and leaning in to kiss her, and Anakin enters in the exact moment she utters, "Clovis, no!" Anakin is mortified and snarls, "Get away from her!" Startled, Clovis backs away from Padmé. Anakin grabs him with the Force, he strangles him and slams him against the wall. Drawing his sword, he is marching towards him. Padmé is in shock, crying, "Anakin! No!" She is ignored by both Anakin and Clovis: Clovis invites Anakin to fight, "like a man without your Jedi tricks", something that Anakin gladly accepts. During their fight, Clovis sarcastically asks Padmé, "I thought you said he didn't have feelings for you?" to which Anakin reacts with staring at her, shocked and hurt. The two are beating each other up in a fist fight, and when Padmé screams at them to stop, Anakin yells at her, "you don't have a say in this!"

There are some who would insist, the scene shows Anakin gallantly saving Padmé from the man who is harassing her sexually - however, this interpretation is seriously problematic. The first thing to note is that Anakin attempts to explain his actions by saying, "I'm so sorry, Padmé. I don't know what came over me." and "It's just when I saw you about to kiss him..." Not "he was about to kiss you." Padmé tells him, "I regret that, but it was not what you thought. And you must know I don't care for Clovis." To which Anakin reacts with asking her: "Don't you?" Anakin's reaction - outrage, demanding Clovis to get away from Padmé then attacking him - was entirely the result of him perceiving the situation as Padmé kissing Clovis, and his reaction would've be the same if Padmé would've been a willing participant in the kiss with Clovis, because as he said, "you don't have a say in this." Which means, whether or not Padmé wants to be kissed by Clovis is irrelevant to him, what matters is that he doesn't want that to happen. Then, he accuses his wife with being unfaithful. This scares Padmé and it also hurts her, and she is explicitly telling him, "This marriage is not a marriage, Anakin, if there isn't any trust."

NOTICE: Anakin is not portrayed to display habitual behaviors of distrust. The core of his issues, harming his relationship with Padmé is his attachment to her and also his inability to be mindful of his emotions. Emotions are not bad at all, but when they awake as a response to our perception and understanding of a situation, they usually make us to stop thinking: we respond immediately, without any conscious thought, pushing us to act upon them and we're driven by them. To be mindful of one's emotions is to be conscious and aware of them. By bringing our emotions into the space of our conscious and passive, i.e. non-judgmental and non-reactive awareness, with calmness and inner peace, their power to kick us out of the driver's seat, to narrow our perspective and distort our perception of reality falls away: we can find the gap between the moments of our experience and the reaction, the response, where we can appraise the situation accurately, rationally. His distrust in Padmé lacks any rational basis - it's the result of him not being able to deal with his fear of loss, which drives him to act negatively.

It should be noted that Clovis' attempt to kiss Padmé has the potential to be read as sexual misconduct, thus, Padmé telling Anakin that she "regrets" what happened can also be read as her apologizing for Clovis grabbing her and then trying to kiss her, and this leads to the notion that Anakin blamed Padmé for being assaulted.

Now, it must be taken into consideration that Star Wars is not a "may I have your expressed verbal consent to kiss you?" type of romance, instead, it follows the "kiss borns out spontaneously from the situation" style, so Clovis (just like Han and Anakin in both trilogies) going for a kiss is not exactly out of place. The difference here is that Padmé clearly doesn't want to be kissed by him, but there is nuance to this. Clovis is leaning closer to her as she is telling him, "Clovis, no!" and she is drawing back to avoid him. As we cut to Anakin right after she says "no", and as she is finishing the sentence, they're both in the middle of movement - Clovis is leaning closer and Padm�� is leaning backwards. Because we cut to Anakin, we don't see if Clovis was still going after the kiss after Padmé declared that she doesn't consent, or did he stop after that. When we cut back to them, Clovis is still holding her, but they don't appear to be closer to each other than before, so if he didn't move closer to her within the (roughly) 2,5 seconds during we were shown Anakin, it seems safe to conclude that he did stop. This is supported by the fact that neither Anakin or Padmé registered his behavior as assault and that Padmé makes no attempt to tell him that Clovis was actually forcing himself onto her, ignoring her protests. It's more plausible that what Padmé expresses "regret" over is that she didn't resist physically, only verbally.

In Conclusion

In Star Wars: The Clone Wars, it's very clear that Anakin and Padmé were written in a way that it showed Anakin's attachment and his struggle to keep the anger, hate and aggression coming from that fearful grasp on Padmé, under check. This is undoubtedly intentional - George Lucas initially planned to hint their issues, mainly Anakin's jealousy, in Episode III, which was cut from the final script but was clearly introduced in Clone Wars:

However, based on my own limited knowledge, this is not enough to call their relationship abusive. An abusive relationship will involve one party using their power over the other party to prevent them from doing anything except what the abusive person wants - one party controlling the other’s thoughts, feelings, or actions. Some conflict is normal in any relationship, healthy relationships involve two people who are both free to disagree, debate, and have their own opinions. Anakin clearly tries to control Padmé, which leads to conflicts, but Padmé is not allowing him to do that. Anakin is clearly unhappy with this, but he actually backs down once he meets resistance. There is a power struggle, which is never healthy, but no power imbalance.

There were unhealthy patterns there that needed to be healed, but unhealthy patterns and patterns of abuse are not the automatically the same. If you experience unhappiness in your relationship because of the behavior of your partner, something must change and if it cannot be changed, then the relationship must end. No one has a license to make you feel unhappy.

But although an abusive relationship is always unhealthy, an unhealthy relationship is not always abusive. There is just no attempt on Anakin's part to monitor her communication, to isolate her or to try to control her financially, to coerce her and there are expressions of anger and frustration, but I can't recall one that could be called an attempt to manipulate her emotionally and obviously, there is no physical violence (in Episode III on Mustafar there is, but that's a totally different context). So, I would say that what we can see on the screen can be called "signs of abuse" only if we assume that we're outsiders observing a relationship, because we can easily suspect that the behaviors we see are feeding into a larger pattern. But a fictional couple doesn't have a life "behind closed doors", we have all relevant information about their relationship.

[cherubchoirs]

Is v1 scared of death ?

it wasn't, at the start of everything - v1 boots to a dying world, its corroded mind immediately clinging to corrupted ideas about its purpose, knowing it is for war but instead thinking it must forever cause it into perpetuity instead of just fighting when called for. it is not yet a self, consciousness a faint flicker in a mind vast and filling fast with so much information its damaged computer can't fully process the data before it weaves into twisted code. when it meets v2, a shift occurs in recognition of the self, a mirrored image that it cannot copy - what's wrong? mirage is the emerging sentience, the understanding that it is v1, it is made for war, and it is in hell. it is here to end everything, and it cannot stop even if it had other wishes. to create war is its fundamental self and should it stop, everything it is would unravel. fear has no place but it feels it as an unnamed presence in the back of its mind. it has a self now, but the self can't project forward in concrete terms. confidence low. simulation unstable. cancel and move on.

but what happens when its self keeps growing, what happens when v1 follows whims instead of a directive? a new self is fostered, it is fed on curiosity instead of blood, it wants to learn instead of make war - these sides do not reconcile until it meets with gabriel. like v2, something is tripped again and in gabriel, its curiosity and bloodthirst are woven together, they fasten into a solid core of being, into what must be v1's soul. v1 is still not regularly existential but it has the capacity, endless in fact, which would only result in an abyss of inaction should it give way to it. it's a by-product of how its mind works, how easily it could be overtaken by the inevitability of death, unending loops of thoughts that lead nowhere or back into each other...and so v1 doesn't actively engage it, and in fact protects against it.

yet the fear grows, directly proportional to the life v1 gains in and outside of itself - it develops interests, it wants to see more, know more, do more than what it was made for, and it wants to stay with gabriel, learn about him and love him, have a whole life with him. it has so much to lose now and when it stops, it will be the end of everything, no spirit inhabiting the flesh...or maybe not. it wonders if it could have a ghost in some way, if the quantum particles that make up its mind are forever impressed with who it is, with what it has become, and if they would carry it on in some way. it would be caught in chaos it knows, the only reason it thinks now because its mind is so well-controlled, the particles so slow or directed that they can be turned into a thinking machine - without the computer, who would it express, experience? even if those particles remember, who would it be in a volatile outside world, separated from one another and scattered so far they could never meet again? would quantum strings still entangle them, too enmeshed to truly be apart? would its consciousness then be a web strung far and wide across space, echoing with who v1 was but unable to attain any cohesion without the deep frozen crystals that turn prisms into qubits? it thinks, somehow, this could be worse than nothing, so it continues to avoid thinking on it.

this avoidance is what i think ultimately causes the issues it and gabriel need to confront as it begins to fail though. they're not totally unprepared, but with the layers of protective coding against contemplating its own death, they're also not in the best position they could be. and as they attempt to figure things out now, as v1's code degrades and those restrictions are lifted, gabriel sees the full extent of its thoughts, the existential depth he knew it was capable of but had never heard at length. something in its mind was obviously given over to this a long time ago and has thought on nothing else while the rest of it ran unaware of the dread it was spinning. it is highly tuned to its demise, and it has considered inanimation at length (it still thinks about some of the first words gabriel said to it) or the possibility of its echo remaining in the quantum particles that have housed its consciousness for so long, they know nothing else. it asks gabriel several times where it will go, what will happen to it, and over and over he needs to admit he doesn't know. it tells him it doesn't want either, it doesn't want to shut off but it doesn't want to be a quantum ghost stretched thin and unthinking. it wants answers it can't compute, it wants answers gabriel can't divine. and it is very afraid.

[w4yn31ngm00n]

ok ykw im making this a separate post cuz putting it in the reblogs aint gonna do much, but this is a continuation of the post i made earlier abt laurance lolll

in my belief, laurance did NOT leave out of sheer pettiness and jealousy !! yes it couldve very well been a part of it [because honestly who wouldn't be pissed ?] but it was not the entire reason. laurance left in an attempt to protect aph, he left for not only his own salvation, but for her safety. previous to leaving, laurance had been struggling with his shadow knight form for a WHILE, it was a constant battle that he was losing. a lot of his anger likely came from that issue, because late-mcd s2 laurance acted WILDLY different from how he acted beforehand. laurance left because he knew that he could not control himself, because his first duty as a guard is to protect his lord, even if it means laying down his life and sacrificing himself. laurance gladly would have laid down his life and even gone through his experience in the nether AGAIN if it meant protecting aph [seen several times throughout the series, including in scaleswind when he's grateful to aaron for knocking him out before he could hurt aph while corrupted and even in void paradox when him and VP aph are trying to find modzilla in the other dimension]. even though it very much so would have hurt him to leave aph, he would have done what he could to keep her safe. like i said before, he still cares about her in mcd s3. it's not like he was so pissed that he left and decided to abandon his duties. in reality, he was FOLLOWING said duties by protecting her from himself. when laurance left the settlement after finding out aph was pregnant, he knew it was his time to go before he ended up hurting someone [which he literally made a promise to aph about]. this is probably a stretch, but that part where he tears up the grass in front of aph's house after hearing her announcement felt more like a "i need to release emotion and leave before i turn and do something i regret" than an expression of just anger. whether it was as a result of his proximity to the nether portal or not, laurance is in his form by the time he leaves for good. this could be interpreted, as i said, as a result of his proximity to the portal, OR as a result of his spiraling emotions. like at the wedding, laurance's form has been seen to be brought on by emotional overload [he also directly stated this when explaining corruption to aph], so it is not out of the question that the announcement could have caused him to spiral. anyways, laurance is constantly afraid of hurting aphmau, it is one of his biggest [if not his greatest] fear. he would rather never see her again than risk her death at his hands [WHICH HE LITERALLY HAD A BREAKDOWN OVER IN VP BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE HE FAILED HER AFTER SHE WAS HURT BY HIS OTHER ALT SELF] or of someone else [shad lol]. ALSO he explicitly states that he doesn't want her to end up in a realm where the shadow lord could hurt her and where he could not reach her. by leaving for the nether, he is, in a way, making an attempt to hold shad at bay. he still likely holds that fear of him reaching her WHICH HE ACTS ON IN S3 !! laurance is living what garroth did AGAIN [first was him being trapped and turned into a shadow knight, second was him being stuck in the other dimension in VP (even though we never got any sort of closure on that)], each was in another dimension fighting what could be considered their greatest enemies in an attempt to protect their lord, that being garroth fighting zane, and laurance fighting not only the shadow lord, and his VP alt self, but HIMSELF. laurance zvahl would NEVER risk his lady's life if he knew he could prevent it. he admitted to aph that he felt inferior to garroth in terms of being a guard ["but after garroth, what good am i ?"], even though he just wants to keep those he loves safe. vylad said that giving in to being a shadow knight is to stop caring, to let go, to no longer feel pain and be no longer binded by emotional connections. it would feel good. [1/2, the rest will be a reblog]

[arisenreborn]

Going to start posting some of my pawn lovers guild qotd answers here for archival purposes (and to fondly look back on the Pain).

Todays question was... well, I think it was something about what music would play in a fight against them which turned into "Design a Boss Battle" 😂

Emrys Boss Battle

Okay so he’s a pain in the ass. He’s taken the form of the dragonsplague dragon evolution pretty much; similar features but a little more physicality to him, bigger than a drake (not as big as Grigori), very sexy and fucked up. More aerial a bit like a wyvern, he’s frustratingly fast and fights like an archer/thief: pelting you with briney arrows that leave corrupting puddles where they hit for a small period, or darting in close and lashing you with his tail or talons before dipping back out. He shouldn’t be able to move so fast for something so damn big. 

Poisons, fire breath, duh, but it has a cool briney effect to it and will have an acidic-like effect around it (similar mechanically to poison really). He’ll occasionally control one of your pawns. Higher chance of dragonsplague infection just fighting him in general.

I like to think he wanders the world and is kind of a “random” encounter. Gonna segue a second about the music: Lux Aeterna is the inspiration but definitely a twisted up version that ‘grows’ with every encounter; it starts out discordant and hard to pick up on the melody, with sort of Silent Hill-ish vibes woven through it. With each encounter (three MAIN encounters depending on how each fight goes) it grows in intensity, frenzy, and drama. It becomes more ‘clear’ but also more ‘violent’, the final version has an aspect of ‘anxiety/fear’ - a creature torn between fight or flight. 

Getting him in a ‘downed’ state in the first two fights is just him hovering feebly closer to the earth and making him an easier target.

Each encounter can be ‘failed’ or ‘succeeded’, failure is him flying away, success obviously when you defeat him results in him basically divebombing the ground which almost seems more like a kamikaze/escape…he crashes and bursty-melts into a plaguey, brine-like substance in the ground you shouldn’t touch until it gradually goes away -will have the same effect as genuine brine. You get exp but frustratingly no loot, alluding to the fact he’s not actually gone yet. Each success grows the difficulty (and music) of the next encounter. 

You probably get garbled dragonspeak also: mostly just cursing you as the Arisen, the second fight gives you a ‘you won’t take … from me…’ as he fades away. 

Third fight will be the most intense - and he’ll try to escape often. He’ll lose -some- of that physicality and be more of a dick to hit without magic/enchanted weapons. A lot more briney attacks, can control up to two pawns if you’re not quick about dealing with the first one. 

However once in his downed state he’ll actually slouch down on the ground on all fours, and his ‘heart’ will be revealed, a cavity in his chest leaking out what looks like a woman wrapped in black and red tendrils and fleshy sinews.

Yeah, it’s Olivia, though she looks a bit, yanno, like she’s become the pseudo-heart of a plaguedragon. So you’ve gotta attack her while he’s downed and you will hear him make… awful awful sounds when you do. He may even beg you to stop. 

But you won’t, of course, and once you’ve broken his heart sufficiently he’ll gradually crumble to mist and dust with the final words "Olivia... forgive-..." and leave you with all the gold and wyrmslife crystals you could have hoped for, you monster.

Also a ‘Corrupt Dragon’s Aegis’, idk what it’s stats are (probably not *super* different from the usual) but it’s probably neat. And depressing. Probably a description along the lines of ‘A shield once carried by the brave Arisen of another world…’ Finally, a wolf fang necklace… (it was a gift Emrys gave to Olivia. It can be given to an NPC for high +40 affection)

The description on the necklace is: "It seems to exude an aura of love, whoever once owned it treasured it dearly."

[lookstairs]

Wish (2023)

Since I’ve been hearing so many mixed reviews I had to see this movie for myself

🚨***CAUTION SPOILERS ***🚨

I watched the trailer when it was released and like most people I was really questioning the animation BUT I tried to keep an open mind

I also wasn’t sure exactly what the plot was aside from “Evil king is greedy on who’s wishes get grant”

ALRIGHT ON TO THE REVIEW

Now it starts off as a storybook intro

The king Magnifico is the only one in the kingdom who’s able to use magic and grant wishes

Every month he does a wish granting ceremony for the citizens of the kingdom

The main character Asha is in the running of becoming the kings apprentice which is a nice change from another princess story

She wants to help make people’s wishes come true (especially her grandfather Sabino who just turned 100 but hasn’t gotten his wish granted)

Now this is where more of the whole “wish” concept gets explained

When Magnifico takes a persons wish they forget what their wish was. So Sabino doesn’t know what exactly his wish is

A persons wish gets taken either when they turn 18 or if they officially join the kingdom

Asha ask if her grandpas wish can be granted and is immediately shut down by Magnifico

Asha finds out that Magnifico has to approve of any wish that gets granted and Sabinos wish is considered to broad

His wish is to inspire the future generations and Magnifico argues that since there’s nothing specific he wants to inspire then the wish won’t be granted

In fact most wishes won’t be granted

This prompts Asha to question why Magnifico doesn’t just return the wishes so that people will remember them and work yo make them real on their own

Obviously Magnifico being the evil control freak he is hates the idea so Asha is officially out of the running for apprentice

Asha is upset but doesn’t give up and tries to tell her Sabino his wish

He gets upset that she’s disobeying the king and revealing that his wish will never be granted

Asha runs into the woods and wishes on a star which releases this light (?) over the whole kingdom

I have to hand it to Ariana DeBose because she did an amazing job with the songs in this movie

She was the only part I knew I’d love

After he wish is when star appears

Star wants to help Asha release the wishes and starts granting the wishes of the animals around her including her pet goat Valentino

Even though I was skeptical about the animation it all worked really well during the musical numbers

The colors were vibrant and reminded me of the older Disney animation so it was great to see

It still looked a little off during talking scenes but overall not bad

Magnifico realizes someone has made a wish and tries to hunt Asha down

Returning to the kingdom Asha gets her friends to help her get back into the Kings study so Star can grant Sabinos wish

Asha gets the wish back to her grandpa who is overjoyed to learn what his wish was

At this point Magníficos guards arrive to arrest them but they escape to a nearby island

Magnifico has resulted to using dark magic in order to maintain control

He realized he could harness the power of peoples wishes and starts stealing the wishes of people who questioned him

Asha gets betrayed by one of her friends but the others still decide to help her

Queen Amaya also switched to her side after seeing how corrupt Magnifico has become

The group attempts to release all the wishes but are overpowered by Magnifico

Asha inspires everyone in the kingdom to make their own wishes and overpower Magnifico

Once again the scene where Magnifico is about to lose really shows how well this animation style can work

The shapes and colors coming off the staff blend the 2D and 3D really nice and makes his defeat really fun to watch

Amaya becomes the sole ruler of the kingdom and everyone works towards making their wishes a reality on their own

Asha is given a magic wand by Star who later returns to the sky

Now did I love it ? No

Was it as awful as people say? No

The animation was lacking in areas but the musical sequences still held up and I really liked the blending of the two styles

The story itself felt a little rushed in areas but it wasn’t to bad

Magnifico as a villain was alright

I could tell they were trying to channel Scar and the Evil Queen especially during his song

It wasn’t bad but he felt very silly. I mean Scar was a sarcastic slightly dramatic villain but he was an overall serious and threatening presence

Magnifico was just an already douchey guy who got to much power and became even worse. Not very threatening but very showy

And this movie has a lot of callbacks to older Disney movies

A LOT OF CALLBACKS

I personally didn’t mind most of it but they kept pushing the fairy godmother thing which I thought was weird and a little random

They even gave her a cape that looked similar to the one the fairy godmother from Cinderella wore

It just felt like the movie walked the audience through everything

Obviously it’s a kids movie so the theme has to be obvious but it felt like it was just be recited by the characters

Make your own dreams come true stealing wishes is bad

That’s pretty much it

Overall it’s an entertaining movie for younger kids but that’s about it

Not one I’d go out of my way to rewatch or look for

People were overly harsh about the movie but I don’t regret watching one bit and neither did any kids in the audience

[masked-kitsune]

Danny Phantom Separate au

In this au Danny and Phantom are two separate entities. The two made a deal during Danny's portal accident. Danny was given a few basic powers, mainly intangiblity and invisibility. Phantom is the banished son of Paraih Dark. Phantom was starting to fade when Danny encountered him in the newly active portal. The two were both dying and struck a desperate deal to help each survive and so Phantom's core turned into an amulet that Danny now wears around his neck allowing the two to switch places quickly with their usual transformation. It's sorta like a Yami and Yugi situation for the two of them.

•Sam and Tucker actually don't know about Danny and Phantom being two separate beings, they assumed they're the same since Danny always wears the amulet and he never bothered to correct them. They're proven wrong about this assumption during memory blank

•Identity crisis was the result of the two fighting. The Fenton ghost catcher gave the two enough charge to be separated with some issues

•Danny learns that he and Phantom can temporarily turn into the other with enough of an ectoplasmic charge

•Danny could tell something was off about Phantom during the circus Gothica incident but didn't immediately chalk it up to mind control until Lancer was locked in a closet.

•Memory blank caused them to lose their connection which in turn caused them to lose their memories alongside the tampering of Desiree with her magic due to the wish Sam made. They had to relearn a few things especially after Sam made her counter wish

•Dani was the result of Vlad trying to clone Danny without knowing that he and Phantom weren't the same person which resulted in Dani and the other clones being extremely unstable

•Vlad is still a halfa due to his ectoacne

•Dan is the result of Phantom being corrupted when Vlad stole the amulet off Danny during the events of the ultimate enemy and the halfa trying to use the amulet. Danny tried to save Phantom which resulted in the teen's death, Vlad's ghost half being absorbed into the amulet and a weakened Phantom being overwhelmed and absorbed by the evil ghost half.

•Clockwork eventually removed the time medallion from Danny's chest

•Clockwork is Phantom's other parent and ends up as a father figure/mentor to Danny

•Danny becomes part ghost due to Phantom

•Phantom shows some of his real power during his fight against Paraih Dark since he manages to briefly send Amity Park back to the real world from the ghost zone. The fight took a toll on both Phantom and Danny. It was more of an emotional toll for Phantom while the physical toll went to Danny

•Phantom remembers bits and pieces of his life in the ghost zone. Phantom is 1400 in human years and is 14 in ghost years

•Paraih went mad due to a poisoning attempt by an observatant when one made a bid for power after sealing Clockwork in the clock tower with a powerful artifact alongside Phantom. He was told his husband and son were lost and in his grief drank the blood blossom wine that ended with him going mad and leading to him needing to be sealed. The observatants cast the traitor into the deepest darkest parts of the ghost zone as punishment

•Phantom leans all of this via Clockwork

•Thunderstorms are hard on both Phantom and Danny

•Phantom was poisoned in a ghostly assassination attempt

•Skulker was hired by said assassin at first and then by Vlad

•Phantom being the prince was kept a secret from the rest of the zone except for Frostbite in the far frozen

•Danny keeps the amulet tucked in his shirt to avoid his parents equipment from pin pointing it

•The Fenton parents don't know about either portal incident

[Feel free to add more to this. It'll be interesting seeing what others come up with including crossovers, just nothing too extreme]

[vitaeplaysda]

Hullo! 👀

🍧 for Abigail, 🙈 for Elinan, 👑 for Enfenim, 🌈 for Kali

and 📎 for as many as you'd like!

(skip any you don't like, of course!)

[Link to the prompts]

🍧 for Abigail

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

They once found an old key on the road while playing outside. It was made of iron with some nice decorations, but simple enough to be used for a closet or chest, there was nothing special about it. But they would make up impossible stories together with their siblings and in their young mind such a key was meant to open magical doors leading to other realms or maybe treasure rooms.

They kept it tied around their neck for many years, considering it one of their most precious possessions.

Now it's kept among their things, but they still have it, yes. It's a memento of better days able to bring a smile to their face.

But in the end Abigail is one to live in the moment, and if they were to lose the key, they wouldn't think much of it. After all it became such a treasure because somebody lost it to begin with. Maybe it's the key's fate to be lost again.

🙈 for Elinan

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

Weakness. They don't want others to see they're tired, worried or perturbed. Half of it it's her people pleasing nature, the other came to be with becoming the Inquisitor and taking lessons about the Game from Josephine and Leliana. While the thing is a bit frivolous in Orlais, it's still very useful when you've got to lead a big organization against the world. Even when Solas dumped her, she remained calm and amiable to his dismay, still offering her support even when she was the victim.

She has her limits though, and when she's burned out or overwhelmed, she usually tries her best to hide in her quarters or by going on solo missions. Her favorite remedy is just to wander pretty places to gather materials and herbs, that's something very useful to leave behind the stress. Baking also helps.

The only ones she can't hide from are the spirits like Cole or Enfenim.

👑 for Enfenim

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

It's not something he cares much about as they had little sense of self for many years, as a demon he was the embodiment of the very fears and traumas which corrupted him. But as he regained his memories I guess he would like to be remembered as the thing he failed to be: a good protector. A good friend. Someone you can rely upon. As why, probably it would help him mend his spiritual wounds even more, gaining more control, memories and identity.

🌈 for Kali

🌈 RAINBOW - what advice would they give to their younger self?

Kali is someone who knows regrets are never useful and whenever you decide to take a move, you should accept any kind of result, for better or worse. Which means she hardly has much to suggest to a past version of herself like 'you should have done something in a different way' or 'fall in love before it's too late', after all such possible choices could have led her to a darker fate. Maybe she would remind herself that spending some quality time with her sister wouldn't have hurt, considering working for her wellbeing ended up not letting the two see each other for long periods of time.

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

📎Elinan: She's a master at braiding hair, in her clan everyone would always ask her, many offering their heads to let her try out new techniques. She tried to keep up the role during her time as Inquisitor but somehow she felt like people didn't approve of such a figure doing such mundane things openly. Solas being bald was a tragedy for her arts. Enfenim ending up having a lot of long and beautiful hair once he fully took the appearance of an elf JUST RIGHT AFTER she lost her left forearm didn't help. In the end she taught him all she knew. Same with little Rook. They both now are their successors as braid masters.

📎 Enfenim: Having floated while having five legs for most of his existence, he didn't expect he had to learn how to walk again once he decided to drop the extra three and move like a mortal. He was successful in the end, Elinan helped. People felt less scared of him. And wielding a sword felt more natural. It was a good choice

📎 Abigail: They love to point out as a joke that their Mohawk hairstyle is a way to not forget their surname is in fact Hawke.

📎 Kali: She's very good at baking cookies. That's secretly how she won Sten over. They're also real helpful to raise the Wardens's morale.