I’m actually curious to see if, and honestly hope, in s2 (whenever that may come out. Studios pay your writers and actors) we get some sort of callback or allusion to the rumor that Jacaerys tried to convert Cregan from the old gods to the faith of the seven.
Not because I care about the gods, outside the religious symbolism they bring. I only want to see people’s reactions. Namely the ones who act as if Alicent is the first woman to ever openly practice the faith. Because I have a feeling those same people will paint Jace possibly doing that as endearing versus Alicent who gets painted as a monster for her connection to the faith. The most we see Alicent doing a redecorating her home. Mind you, not even every room because you can clearly see the tacky tapestries in Viserys’ room in ep 8. Plus we see her praying and wearing religious iconography. Things that are not out of the ordinary… at all. She’s honestly your textbook highborn noble woman during that time. She was born and raised in Oldtown ffs. What is she supposed to follow if not the faith💀
She gets seen as this horrible zealot out to destroy the Targaryens through the faith, and to me that is just indicative on how badly people misinterpret Alicent’s feelings/motivations.
People can have their problems with the writing in hotd. I know there are certain things I have problems with myself. But when can we start being honest about how a lot of the conversations that are regurgitated and argued about day after day have less to do with the writing, and more to do with bad faith viewing. People are watching to see what they want to see, not what is actually in front of them.
Anyone with an objective view of Alicent would be able to tell how much she clings to the faith for salvation and hope. She does it to feel close to her mother, and very kindly/cautiously tries to help Rhaenyra with that too. She then reaffirms her faith after 1. She (imo justifiably) loses her shit at Driftmark and feels guilty about it, and 2. Has to marry her children to each other. Something she expresses thinking is immoral in the past. We even see her cut her hair, more than likely as a means of punishment and repentance. She’s miserable and has very few lifelines to hold onto.
How that gets twisted into her being a bigot because she doesn’t want to see dragons having orgies on her walls is beyond me.
Also the idea she is trying to bring down House Targaryen is nuts, but also laughable. Because between her and her actual Targaryen husband, Alicent is the one affirming her childrens’ Targaryen heritage. She makes sure Aemond knows he will get a dragon one day. She makes sure Aegon gets Blackfyre and his namesake’s crown. It seems like Aemond, and more than likely her other kids, know Valyrian. Ironically, the most anti targ (and frankly valid) sentiments we get are from Viserys. He speaks on the doom, fears what is to come, and how they never should have messed with dragons.
Alicent ‘let the people remember the ancient strength of House Targaryen’ Hightower is not the Baelor y’all want her to be. And if she was, it would’ve worked in her favor more. People tend to leave out the part where the most beloved Targaryens (by their people) were partly that because of their connection to the faith. Ya know the thing Targaryens also practice.
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I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.
they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.
teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.
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gonna have to delete this later due to the redacted horrors but moving out update. today and yesterday i toured apartments. the one i toured today was smaller yet more expensive and had lower ratings and is very far away from campus plus the actual tour itself was… a very distressing and disturbing experience and not just bc there were literally dead bugs in one of the units 🤢 but like the place just had bad vibes i guess. i don’t know why it was so awful for me but i had a terrible feeling in my gut the whole time and then was almost in a scary situation getting back to campus (totally unrelated to the tour / property lol) but it was ok and i made it back completely safe in the end im just still extremely like. triggered i guess and i can’t talk about it to anyone at home (bc they can’t know im trying to move out lol) which is making me want to cry. like my nervous system is disregulated as my therapist would say. in fight or flight mode. but anyway none of that is even important bc im not going to live there because you know where i think im going to live???? THE APARTMENT I TOURED YESTERDAY!!!!! it’s like 3-4 mins away from campus (not to mention literally RIGHTTTT next to a campus shuttle stop) and right down the street from a whole bunch of cute restaurants and stores etc etc including my former therapy place (lol) and my favorite restaurant near campus, the apartment is bigger, rent is lower, and the property is beautiful imo. the only problem is that the only 1br/1ba apartments are on the ground floor which in my mind means im more vulnerable to a) ppl trying to like break in or do whatever god forbid a million times b) bugs ☹️ but tbh id be willing to try to deal with that and see how it goes. it’s gotten consistently 4-5 star ratings from residents for the last year and it has in unit laundry too 🤯 im so nervous and excited. now i just have to work up the strength to actually like. move there and tell my family that’s what im doing when they don’t want me to move without being able to drive and they don’t want me to live alone. but omg im so excited i just want to make it official nowwww
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start of 2022 to june 2023 was the longest streak i ever went without going to the hospital outside scheduled appointments and not even a year later i have a nearly three week stint in the hospital and am back to being on a feeding tube 16 hours a day for the first time since i was a toddler. i usually joke about being disabled and stuff but this shit sucks. i hate that my health has just been insane since i’ve been in the womb and there’s absolutely no stability in terms of knowing how well i’m doing. stopped having hospitalized pneumonias when i was ten, then had one when i was 17 and like it’s been almost ten years but who knows!!! hopefully the next time i need heart surgery it’ll be a cardiac cath instead of open heart b it who’s to say!!! we never thought I’d be on a tube again but here i am at 26 and I’ve had two types just this month!!! all the doctors talking to me tell me how well i’m handling things and how complex my case is and how they hope they get me “back to normal” because i’m “just so young” and then just look sad when i say I’ve gotten used to this since birth. i’m just so fucking tired. this shit just doesn’t end y’know, you think you’re finally something close to normal and healthy and then you realize you were just going through a quiet period
anyway sorry for the vent post have a picture of my dear sweet friend pim pimling
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made a birthday post for my grandma yesterday since no one else remembered it and immediately afterwards my sister made one and really drilled in hard about how she named my newest niece after her. and idk. I’m still upset. I’ve been crying off and on about it because like. I know it wasn’t right but my grandma would tell anyone who listened how I was her favorite grandchild (and tbh I think besides it just being true she did that bc she knew how awful my mom and sister were to me) and would brag on me constantly. and my sister did nothing but talk about how annoying my grandma was and say the worst things about her right before she died. but yet she loved her so much that she forgot her birthday 2 years in a row so I mean clearly she just had to take the name I fought with her over during her first pregnancy. I’m so glad I’ve had my cousin throughout all of this because otherwise I’d feel legitimately insane. She’s been amazing at reminding me how much grandma loved me and helping reinforce that grandma and I DID have an agreement that she wanted ME to name my daughter after her if I ever had one. Everything my sister does though feels so spiteful. Like I love my niece so much and it just sucks that I can’t even spend time with her without being reminded of how much my sister wants to hurt me. I don’t blame the baby though. Like it hurts and makes interacting with her a little difficult but she’s innocent. And the thing is I wouldn’t have even minded if she named her that out of genuine love and respect for my grandma but I know she didn’t. From not letting anyone be with my grandma in the hospital when she died to putting her ashes in my fucking mailbox to telling me that my grandma hated me and I didn’t do enough for her to telling me how awful I was for taking a week off to implying I should’ve been there even tho she lied to me about her being in the hospital to withholding photos she promised me of her to ruining my grandmas house (she lets my 5 year old niece write all over the walls and keeps a million fuckin farm animals like ducks and chickens and turkeys inside when grandma didn’t even let dogs in) to asking the preacher at her funeral to say some pointed remarks about me being no contact with my mom to now using her daughters name as a direct slight against me I can’t help but feel like all she wants to do is weaponize my dead grandma against me without even worrying about how disrespectful she’s being to her as long as it hurts me. I haven’t even tried talking to about my nieces name because after confronting her about my grandmas passing I know it’ll do nothing to actually remedy anything and will just lead to even more explosive fights where I know she’ll just double down on saying things she know will hurt me. And I don’t want to argue about my grandma. I don’t want to use her memory for something disrespectful. It doesn’t feel right and doesn’t feel like honoring her in any way that she’d appreciate. I just want her to be respected. I want her name to be used for something kind and loving instead of spiteful. Because ultimately that’s what she was. My kind and loving grandma. Not a tool to cause arguments and tension. She was always the mediator in the family and I can’t help but think how disappointed she’d be to know her passing has been used in the way it has to further drive a shift in the family.
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bestie what did he do????? do i need to pull my glock out or what
he fr lost the baddest bitch 🙏🏾
the usual thing that men do. he ghosted me 😭😭 after we’d went on a few dates and also for weeks we’d text ALL day and half the night like till 3am 😭 and i don’t mean sexting i mean actual conversation with cute flirting 😭😭😭 but then he all of a sudden just stopped replying and i should’ve just NOT SAID ANYTHING but then i texted him a few days after he ghosted me and then he was like “sorry i was busy :)” WHICH IS BASICALLY CODE FOR FUCK YOU I AM DONE WITH YOU 🥲🥲🥲🥲 like I can’t believe he wasted my time like that!!! and I don’t understand what was going on in his HEAD like he was sooo into it like in the beginning i wasn’t even that attracted to him i just thought he was fun to talk to!! He was the one who kept complimenting me and flirting with me!!! (another red flag in hindsight lol). I mean he was hot so i was initially attracted to him but then I got the ick but then i forced myself to be attracted to him again bc his personality was so good 😭😭😭 and we genuinely got along so well 😭 anyways he never popped up again so it’s safe to say it’s done lol even if he did pop up now i wouldn’t reply 😂😂
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saw something today on tiktok about someone hearing that wanting to be sick means you're already sick and damn
i didn't -
that hits really really hard
i've wanted to be sick my whole life
my whole life
because i just wanted people to notice me and
i know i'm such a fucking awful person for it
but i wanted to get worse just for attention
like how FUCKED UP is that????
like actually what the fuck is wrong with me
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