#which obviously backfires on him (no matter how good of an idea he thought it was at the time)

[buttercup-art]

So I was looking through some 'Ugly Betty' clips last night, and couldn't help but imagine these as Hugo and Noa:

also a bonus (this one is from the show 'Desperate Housewives', but it really reminded me of Noa! I can totally see her saying and doing stuff like this lol):

[anderscim]

@eventide-roses asked:

I would like to drop in something that has been.....kinda bugging me??? Not really bugging, but idk if you can even make a theory off of it. It's more Xanvid inclined anyway (and ig Teruvid if you squint really hard), but it's something that I found kinda interesting imo

Ask yourself this. How much screentime did David even have before chapter 2? I find it odd (my brother and I joke about him being the "Levi" of chapter 1 - having very little screentime) that he wasn't on screen for.....really most of chapter's 1 daily life, except for when he intervened Teruko and Xander's conversation in the dining hall (where he went on about how there is so much pressure on his shoulders from being looked up to a lot). Keep in mind Teruko knows his optimistic facade is merely an act. Lots of ppl (included myself) think that David only intervened cause he was watching Xander and Teruko, cautious cause one person knew something that they shouldn't have. But that also sounds a little too cautious, wouldn't you say? Sure, as an inspirational speaker, you are expected to be always happy and cheerful, seeing the world through rose tinted glasses. But surely, as a human being, you are also not immune to being sad. His slip up in the introduction just sounded like an introvert to me. Maybe a bit of a bitchy introvert, but not......something worth total contempt from someone. Yet, David is paranoid enough to keep to himself for the majority of chapter 1 and (most likely) just watched Teruko and Xander's interactions carefully. Why would he do this? Obviously he doesn't want anyone else to know about how his facade is just....well, a facade. But it honestly seems like he genuinely values Xander's opinion about him. He doesn't want anything negative to smear Xander's opinion about him. And keep in mind, ever since the killing game was announced, David (most likely) automatically went in his head "Well, it's only a matter before we all die" yet he still desperately tries to keep up his happy go lucky facade, even when he knows he could die the very next day

I found it kinda odd he never really played a big part until after chapter 2, episode 4 where he became the so called 'leader' and started the plan to share secrets again. But wasn't this also after the end of the first trial where he says "I lost hope, I won't bother to keep it up anymore, we are all going to die here" <- paraphrasing rn, don't kill me. And yet he STILL tries to keep up the persona. I remember one blog made a post about how David's plan was actually better than what the cast could've done (sit around the let the motives be revealed or reveal them without permission) which I agree with. But then it backfired and everyone started to gain up on David during the trial. I think the straw that broke the camel's back was when Teruko said David has been faking not only his personality, but also being a good person. Like damn girl, you think he's a bad person just cause you caught him saying a few negative things to himself? It fits with her character of not trusting people, but still. All that was revealed about his 'true true' personality was that he was some mildly bitchy introvert that wanted to sleep in I have no idea where I am going with this, but these are some findings that I thought was interesting enough to share with you (hopefully I'm sending it to the right blog as well). I guess what I'm trying to say is not only does David truly care about Xander, but possibly everyone else in the cast (he probably even had some respect for Teruko, until Xander died, which is a whole other can of worms, but I also think he blames her for Xander's death and her secret he received in chapter 2 only verifies his belief) And (this is also an extremely long stretch but also worth considering) the gag comic that the dev made I think? 2021 ish? Where David received too many letters and he was worried how he would get through all of them? It wasn't even his idea to throw them out, it was Whit's (to which, David even asked him isn't that a little mean?). It shows that David still cares about his fans (again, it's a really big stretch, but still has the character's canon personalities, since the dev themself made it)

first off, thank you for the submission lexi! i hope you don’t mind that i transferred your ask to this blog ^^

and yeah, i noticed these things too, but in my opinion it may mostly be an indication that david is adamant about maintaining his persona and what the cast expects from him.

(take this with a grain of salt)

despite his (at the very least) pessimistic dialogue at the end of chapter one, i think he tries to consistently keep the “ideal image” that the rest of the cast expects from him as the ultimate inspirational speaker—leading the group, presenting that entire plan (despite likely making it up on the spot), etc—in the beginning of chapter two. similar to what you said, i think it’s a very interesting contradiction to have david act so pessimistic and say that they’re “all certainly going to die here,” and then suddenly find him within the next few days leading the group and doing everything he possibly could to keep his plan going. like i mentioned in this older post, david’s plan was likely better than any of the alternatives—and based on the fact he could potentially convince everyone to follow a separate path from what he outlined in ch2 ep4, it’s likely that he wasn’t actually attempting to “foster the right atmosphere for murder to occur,” like he claimed in episode 11.

so if he was trying to help and prevent another murder despite the (very) limited means to do so—despite him clearly saying how they’re all going to die the chapter before—it might point to the fact that david is pressured by his own reputation to act in a way that is fitting for an inspirational speaker, regardless of all of his slip-ups from earlier. after all, david may have felt that it was wrong to watch all of the discourse happening in ch2 ep4 and not do something about it, especially since he has a career that literally helps other people for a living.

however, this internal(?) pressure could imply that he sets unrealistic expectations on himself to maintain that image—which might explain why, despite his slip-up in the prologue only showing us that he was more pessimistic and lazy than the cast expected, he was paranoid enough to check on xander and teruko. as implied from the MV and all of the secrets that it has, there’s a lot of evidence that points to david not feeling human (the dolls, the albino mouse / arabidopsis / footnote 2)—instead, he thinks of himself as a sort of “model organism” and someone who’s supposed to hold up an ideal for everyone else to follow. if this is true, this may explain why he felt cautious enough to go out of his way and monitor(?) the two people who may know something past his persona/reputation—true, it is only human to feel negative emotions and express them outwardly, but in david’s case he may hold incredibly high expectations for himself as a role model and pretend that he’s immune to those emotions. after all, he doesn’t feel like he’s human.

i also agree on the “he at the very least had an iota of respect for the rest of the cast at one point” part <-paraphrased. no specific evidence for this but i might get to it later

i hope you get what i mean. (-.-;) thank you again for the submission!

[mizumiii]

Hiraeth - Part III

Donan x Fem!Reader

Previous part - Table of contents - Next part

HIRAETH, n. (Welsh) A spiritual longing for a home which maybe never was. Nostalgia for ancient places to which we cannot return. The echo of the lost places of our soul’s past and our grief for them. In the wind, rocks, and waves, it is nowhere and everywhere.

Hello! Things are getting messier from here on. I hesitated a long time to change the events with Yorin, but I was not feeling confident enough to really change the main event because I was also really interested in how the game dealt with Donan's grief.

Hence a kind of ritual was built between Donan and you. You would meet him at his estate or the keep, and either you would share a meal, or a ride or a night, or more usually the three in any order. Sometimes you could not see him for some days, because of important matters calling you away from the druids' lands, but it only made your reunion even more intense. Just like that, more than a month went by. 

Presently, you were talking with Yorin in Breigstag. Now that Airidah had been taken down, things were slowly going back to normal but the relationship between knights and people was still complicated. The young man had thought that helping them rebuild and restart their crops could ease the tension but that was no easy task. 

“You can't force people into new beliefs in a blink of an eye”, you reminded him while sharing a drink at the town’s tavern. 

You would sometimes meet him here, to check on how he was doing. Truth being said, you had grown quite attached to him. Even if you still could not understand how he had ended up as a knight penitent when he was so curious and tolerant: he could accept other beliefs easily, and even more, he was sincerely interested in them. 

“I already know that, but I thought they would have seen by now how much good the Church of Light can do”, he revealed to you. 

“But they did not ask for it”, you pointed out. 

It seemed to make him think since he did not speak for a while, looking at his cup as if he could find in it the answers he was looking for. 

“You're a great kid, I mean young man”, you sighed before straightening yourself, “but you lack two important things.”

“What are they?” He wondered with curiosity while looking at you.

“The more important thing is experience, you judge the whole world by what you know and not what you have experienced yourself. From there you rush into situations without having enough reasoning to back up your actions.”

“How can I get any experience when my father hardly lets me go anywhere?!”, he rumbled softly. 

“True”, you admitted. “Maybe I could ask him if you can accompany me on my journey”, you wondered out loud. 

“Really? That would be an incredible opportunity! But I need to finish what I started here first.”

“Obviously, take your time, we'll talk about it again later”, you smiled.

It was not the first time someone came with you on your travels but in this occurrence, you were sure it could be a great experience for both of you. Yorin’s crowd control abilities were working well with your close combat skills, and with more experience in his curriculum, Donan would certainly feel more at ease. A perfect win-win. 

Like this, you started to look for the other druid of Astaroth's legend, with Yorin at your sides. The boy was as helpful as you expected and even if Donan initially seemed close to bringing him back home, he finally got accustomed to it (it just took a lot of persuasion from your side). 

However, your idea backfired on you when you had to justify your endless back and forth at the Firebreak Manor. Thankfully, the young man was either really naive or really skilful at acting. Either way despite the awkward reasons you gave him, he never questioned you further. 

Sadly, you ended up finding Donan's last companion: Nafain, shortly after.  The little peace you had put together suddenly crumbled between your fingers. You fell on your knees before him, your pants soaking in red, overflowing blood as you stared at the half-body corpse still gushing litres of the precious liquid. It was worse than everything you had seen until then. You had thought you had been ready for anything now, but you were wrong. Lilith was a monster. She would stop at nothing. And she was mean, vicious, terribly spiteful. 

“I-I need to inform Father”, Yorin muttered, his eyes wide open in horror.

“I-... W-”, you tried to say something, anything but it was as if someone had cut the strings allowing you to move. 

You did not even look at the boy leaving, your mind helplessly trying to know what to do. You were always a step too late. It was horrible torture to only be the witness of her terrible misdeeds, to be the herald of her soulless crimes, to be the one spreading the bad news with no solution. Nonetheless, your body slowly took over your brain, forcing you to move. Firstly you unhooked the druid, despite everything you had learned about him, nobody deserved such a gruesome death. Secondly, you trusted his wolf to take care of his body better than you would do. And finally, your mind came back.

But it was not with sense and reason, it was with an unyielding urge to see Donan and Yorin. After all this death, this pain, you needed to find peace.  You were no longer hesitating, you jumped on your feet and called for your mount. After that, everything became hazy, you rushed to Eldhaim Keep without stopping. You ignored the creatures trying to throw you on the ground, and Brother bravely supported the injuries and the exhaustion. At that moment your mind was unable to think about anything else than the two men you had grown close to. 

However, the fiends had already invaded the place, they were coming from everywhere, there were corpses everywhere and horrific screams filled the air. Your insides were crushed under excruciating fear as you were looking everywhere for the two men.  

“Yorin?! Donan?!” You called out in a frenzy when barging into the cour.

You ignored the faces of people you knew laying in pools of blood and led your horse through what looked like hell. Meanwhile, you kept calling from the top of your lungs, your mind screaming too: please be safe, please, please, please, please…

The door was barricaded, so you had to go from another building, and leave Brother outside -you trusted him to flee from there-. 

“Yorin?! Donan?!”

There were people, Church of Light’s one on your path but you ignored their plea. Quickly your clothes already stained were even more dyed by blood as you just rushed through the fiends without stopping. No injuries could stop you, no enemy strong enough to hold you. Only Fear was driving you. Each second without seeing them was making you see the horrible vision of Vigo's death. Please be safe, please, please, please, please…

You just followed the trail of dead Penitent Knights, killing what you could on your path until you reached a strange place. You did not even notice that you were no longer in the same building because something far worse was taking place in front of you. 

Despair hit you harder than any blow you had to withstand your whole life. In a second, despite your will, your eyes had caught everything wrong in front of you: Donan lying on the ground, his head covered in blood; Lilith towering over a terrified Yorin, a strange yellow stone in her hand, and the three-headed giant dog lurking in the shadows, ready to jump on anyone fool enough to stop his mistress. 

“No!” You yelled so loudly that you felt something slapping in your throat. “Leave him alone!!” You added your voice now croaked.

Something was dripping on your cheeks, ignoring it you quickly drew your two short swords, deadly set on protecting the young man with your life. I’m not too late, I’m not too late, you kept repeating in your mind as the relief was quickly overpowered by the fear of not being strong enough to defeat the demoness. 

“Oh a little pet”, Lilith commented with a mix of surprise and delight, “I can sense my touch in you, you have tasted my blood haven’t you?”

You did not see her lips move nor heard her talk; your eyes were fixed on Yorin’s face where tears had drawn clear lines on his skin. He was held almost up only by Lilith’s strong grip on his neck, her claws were already tearing blood. You could feel that he was afraid, his lips trembling but no sound coming from them, his eyes shaking and crying, but no complaining… 

“Let.Him.Go!” You punctuated as loudly as you could despite your now useless throat. 

“So the little pet has claws”, she seemed amused as her lips slightly raised. “Then try and come get him if you want it so badly…”

That time you heard her clearly, so with a roar really similar to those of the one you had fought just before, you rushed on her to free your precious partner. 

Lilith did not even drop what she had in her hands, she simply used her wings as weapons, paring yours without effort, even chuckling at each of your attempts. However, she quickly grew bored, and after only two failed blows, she impaled you on the horn atop her left wing. 

“Urgh!” You coughed up blood, dropped your weapons on the spot to grab the appendage and try to free yourself.

Except the demoness was not set on letting you go that easily, she slowly raised her limb making your feet barely touch the ground. The pain made you crazy, you thought that you were going to die, but with a furious cry, you started to kick the she-demon in her side.

“So much potential”, she purred while looking at you, “but you’re not ready to reap. For now, I will deal with this one…”

You turned your head at the same time as her, Yorin was even paler than before, he looked so frightened that you found a new strength in you. As Lilith was raising her hand, you roared and impaled yourself further to try to reach her face. 

“I won’t let you!!”

The next second, the yellow stone was crushing Yorin’s head. Strangled by Lilith’s hand he could not even yell as his face was corroded by liquid fire. You cried, begged, forgetting any pride but it was too late. You realised that you had failed when you heard the demonic shout that came from the boy’s mouth. Astaroth had possessed him.

“Do not worry we will meet again, in the meantime try and get stronger”, Lilith encouraged you before tossing you in a corner as if you were just an insect on her wing.

You stared as the three-headed dog put Astaroth on top of him before slowly walking out beside Lilith. Your body was unable to do the slightest movement, and soon you could no longer see, just hearing your blood dripping on the floor. Then, thankfully, you blacked out.

*

“Urgh, kof, argh”, you erected while coming back to you in panic.

There was something liquid in your throat, you felt like drowning.

“It's a healing potion, just breathe out.”

“D-Donan?” you croaked finally witnessing the man’s face close to yours. “You’re alright?”

“Yes… Lilith did not want to kill me, she wanted to play with me”, the pain was easily audible in his voice, “I thought you were dead.”

“I thought the same thing… Wait! Yorin! I-... Oh fuck… I’m sorry Donan…”

The little composure left on the man’s face totally disappeared as you started to tell him what happened with a shaking voice. 

“That’s not finished”, he oddly assured, “I’ve studied the stone for most of my life. We can-I can still save Yorin, my boy. Just follow me, I know where they went!”

You raised your foot without protesting. His confidence was contagious, just looking at him running was enough to strangle your inner voice. Yes, we can save him, it’s not too late. You wanted so desperately to believe it that you ignored your wound, which had not been totally healed by the potion. 

The rest did not leave you time to think. Your mind just stopped functioning, and you watched like a spectator as your body mercilessly killed Astaroth in Yorin’s body. You did not even flinch when the demon’s appearance reverted to the young man’s one. You just stood there, staring at Donan’s back as he was wailing heartbreakingly. 

You realised that you were walking when you met two men that assured you they would take care of everything. The landscape changed around you for Cerrigar’s inner town, you met other people, their voices muttering in your wake. The sky was dark, but the flames were drawing orange and yellow curbs where the stars should have been visible. The ash made it difficult to breathe but you just ignored it as you ignored the rest. 

“Everything is the Church of Light and Donan’s fault, we should never have trusted those fools!”

You did not register the answer however your fist landed heavily on the face of the one who just talked. You heard his scream but did not hesitate in hitting him again. Too soon, some arms were restraining you, you heard people trying to calm you down but the only thing you could hear was that asshole sentence.

“You should have burned, bastard!” You yelled at him trying to hit him despite the people grabbing you. “You don’t deserve to be alive!”

“Just leave him alone, we need to get you treatment”, a town chief encouraged you, “Donan needs you.”The last sentence succeeded in making you realise that you had gone crazy for a moment. Then, grief tackled you hard but you did not let it transform you into a useless crying mop. You had no right, it was you who had failed because you had not been strong enough. It had to change.

Next part

[ofekma]

I don't entirely agree.

Sure, opening the bag for treasure doesn't sound like Eurilochus at all, but opening the bag because of being scared of what's inside is a completely nonsensical decision.

Eurilochus wasn't there with Odesseus to talk to Aeolus, but he never asked to be there and in fact, spent an entire song talking about how it was a terrible idea, in front of the entire crew, without offering alternative how to get out alive of a storm they've been stuck in for days.

Then, Odesseus comes back and:

The storm is magically gone.

Odesseus is holding a bag.

He is asked what's in the bag and says

"Something dangerous, friends, We mustn't lie-"

And before he can even finish his sentence

The Winions pop up and say "It's treasure! :D"

Odesseus is surprised and they leave.

The team is hyped up, wanting to open the bag, then Odesseus calls everyone and wants to make sure that everyone knows:

"No, do not

Everybody listen closely

See how this bag is closed?

That's how it's supposed to be

This bag has the storm inside

We cannot let the treasure rumor fly"

Nine days pass and Odesseus is keeping the bag with him obsessively. He doesn't sleep. Home is at the horizon.

Now let's say that you are Eurilochus. You don't know what's in the bag, you thought it was a bad idea to trust Aeolus.

Your options are:

1. Odesseus is lying

2. The Winions are lying

3. Both are lying.

If Odesseus is lying, there's treasure inside, which would explain both why he was unsettled that the Winions told everyone what he wanted to keep a secret, and why he's been keeping it with him 24/7.

If the Winions are lying, there's a storm inside. Which would also explain the odd behaviors I mentioned above and would also explain where did the storm go.

Eurilochus's break down in Mutiny shows that up until he saw it happen in front if his own eyes, he never imagined that Odesseus would ever deliberately endanger the life of the crew, so hiding something that can risk them doesn't make a lot of sense. A point to him telling the truth. Sure, Odesseus lies, but he lies to his enemies. He lies for a reason. What possible reason could he have to lie to his friends, other than if, say, he has a treasure he doesn't want anyone to take from him?

Also the fact that nothing happened and they were so close to home is also a point in his favor.

So, we can't find a good reason for Odesseus to lie other than the treasure. Let's say now that the Winions lie. Eurilochus doesn't trust the gods so it wouldn't be hard to believe it's the case, and even if they're telling the truth, keeping the bag close or open wouldn't matter because no one would be in danger. Meanwhile, keeping the bag close or open if it has a storm inside would absolutely matter. So the logical thing to do if you are scared would be to keep the bag closed.

Now, let's say that Eurilochus was hurt because Odesseus didn't trust him and refused to let him guard it. Obviously the right thing to do here is.... Justify his distrust by going behind his back and doing the one thing he asked you not to do?

It makes no sense! Regardless of Eurilochus' motivations, given the knowledge he had it made zero sense to open the damn bag.

Eurilochus is good at doubting Odesseus, but does he ever suggest an alternative? It's easy to just say "it's a bad idea don't do that" but it's hard to know what you SHOULD do.

Tho it's true that Odesseus dismissed him a lot and wanted him to just follow orders. Both are at fault here.

But Eurilochus is not very good at carrying the blame either. I mean, the song "Mutiny" hasn't even ended before he went right back to calling him Captain, after his first decision as a captain backfired immediately. A completely stupid decision I must say, he had no excuse there. Then the moment things went south he not only gave the power back to Odesseus, he also wanted him to sacrifice his life for the mistake HE made. Is that the kind of person who shares blame?

More Eurylochus content.

Something that I think isn't talked about enough in Epic conversations is what it means for Eurylochus to be Odysseus's right hand man, his second in command.

The second in command isn't supposed to be a perfectly obedient follower who never questions their Captain. He is supposed to be a second brain, a fresh set of eyes, someone that Odyssues can rely on to help him chart a surer course (metaphorically and literally). And yes, the second in command supposed to disagree with their leader when they are making a bad decision—to be the voice of reason. Eurylochus is the go-between for Captain and Crew, advocating for both.

And Odysseus doesn't listen to him. Ever. In full speed ahead Odysseus acknowledges Eurylochus's concern to some extent, but that's the last time. The more time passes the less Odysseus pays any attention to Eurylochus's concerns, until we reach Luck Runs Out. At which point Odysseus is done and decides to shut down Eurylochus for good. Its also the last time Odysseus chooses to run his plan by Eurylochus before enacting it.

Here is where the Bag comes into play. Odysseus comes down from Aeolus's palace carrying the wind bag and attempts to brush off Eurylochus and the crew when they ask about it. He did not need to do this. He could have just explained what it was from the start, but Odysseus is done sharing his plans and having them questioned.

As a result he is on the back foot once the winions claim its treasure. Only then does he explain. We know he's telling the truth from the perspective of the viewer, but the crew has no such guarantee. For all they know the storm inside is just a lie, a cover up, an excuse. Its not like they don't know that Odysseus lies.

At this point the Bag almost becomes a symbol of the fracturing trust between Odysseus and Eurylochus. Its a plan and a decision that Eurylochus was excluded from, and then Odysseus literally keeps himself awake for nine days guarding it. From an outside perspective that's super concerning. Its proof that Odysseus doesn't trust his crew, that he doesn't trust Eurylochus. If he did then he would have done the reasonable thing and traded off guarding the bag with Eurylochus so he could get some sleep.

I personally don't think Eurylochus opened the bag with treasure as his motivation. I think he was driven by his growing distrust just as Odysseus was. He couldn’t take Odysseus's explanation on faith anymore and needed to know what exactly it was that was driving Odysseus to such extremes to protect.

Luck Runs Out and Keep Your Friends Close were the death knell for trust between Odysseus and Eurylochus. Scylla and Mutiny is the conclusion of that shattered trust.

"If you want all the power you must carry all the blame!"

Eurylochus would have shared that burden with Odysseus. Would have shared the weight of the guilt and the lost lives of their friends. But Odysseus wouldn't let him.

[atsumwah]

consequences

featuring : sano manjiro

notes : i have no idea how this started but this was the fastest thing i wrote out of everything so far....i just wanted them to be scared of reader hihi,,,, obviously timeskip toman members here and also reader uses they/them pronouns! (and mikey calls you baby like a lot)

"oh no."

"good thing it's already busted down anyway.""who gave them a freaking knife?"

"mikey, what did you do?"

mikey was screwed. he was really utterly screwed. and it seems like the whole gang knew it too.

"i didn't do anything." mikey whispers back. "i think."

"you think?" baji pipes in, smacking him on the head. "well you better figure it out because it doesn't look like they're going to stop."

mikey gulps as he watches you, the love of his life, the only reason he gets up for the day— beat up a worn out door. and you're terrifyingly good at it too. he's pretty sure they have to clean it up later  —lord knows no one was brave enough to approach you right now, not when you're this angry. angry at him for that matter. 

look, it wasn't like it was intentional. these last few weeks has been busy and sure he hasn't seen you in a while but he thought you understood that. well—you did and you also did bring up the fact you rarely see him anymore and maybe he kind of sprung it on you that you were annoying him when all you wanted was to work on your relationship—okay fine he gets it. this was entirely his fault. 

and maybe it was kind of his fault for teaching you how to fight too (okay that's a lie, he thinks it's attractive as hell but he never thought he'd actually be at the receiving end of it.)

"mikey," draken drawled out, holding his shoulder in a very tight grip, "fix this. we have a meeting in a few and seeing your partner murdering a door isn't something we want others to see."

"yeah yeah, got it." he says, taking a deep breath before making his way into the room. he can do this. he's the president of toman for crying out loud. he can definitely talk to you rationally and come out unharmed.

yeah, he's getting his hopes up way too much.

"10 bucks says he'll chicken out." kazutora said.

"not helping me here." mikey says through gritted teeth but still made it towards the room.

"hey baby…" he starts off, testing the waters. he sees you stopped midair from stabbing the wooden door—or whatever is left of it. "can we talk?"

"i don't know, manjiro. can we?" he winced at the use of his first name.  

"yeah, i deserved that." he paused when you went back to stabbing, then tried to lighten up the mood. "heh, are you imagining kisaki's face again there, babe?"

"no, i'm imagining yours." 

ouch. okay that backfired.

"look i'm—" he settles down behind you, sitting on his knees, "i'm sorry, baby."

"sorry for what?" you mumbled, stopping and looking behind you. 

"i'm sorry for not listening to you before. i know i was tired but i had no right to say that to you." he sees you drop the knife, thank god.  

you've turn around now, the murderous glare you had before slowly morphing into a disappointed one. "i was just worried about you. but you made it seem like i was suffocating you or something and if i am then, "you let out a sigh "then just tell me and i won't bother you again, manjiro."

"you're not," mikey immediately interjected, taking your now free hands in his. "shit, im sorry for not handling it any better. i really do appreciate everything you do and i promise to be a better partner to you. please don't stop bothering me. you know you're the only thing keeping me sane here, baby." 

you let his thumbs draw circles on the back of your hand. "you mean that?"

"god yes." he's doesn't hesitate to pull you in a hug. "i might actually go crazy if you're not here with me." 

"then do better on making that known." you muttered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as you relaxed in his hold.

"trust me baby, i will." he kisses your temple before looking back at your face. "am i forgiven?"

you nod, which was all he needed to know before he kissed you and was happy to feel you were kissing him back.

"so…did you really imagine it was my face while murdering the door? you were kidding, right? right? say something please."

reblogs are appreciated bbys <333

[obsessedwvampbois]

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐋 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬

Oh boy so this is gonna make people really mad. I have listened to a total of 52 songs from the Diabolik Lovers franchise (that I could find) and ranked them for the hell of it. For this ranking I will be including all character songs, openings (both anime and game) along with the remixes. I will not be counting solo versions of songs (eg. Gin no bara), soundtrack bgm or the endings themes.

My ranking is based on these things:

how well does the song fit the character/s or game, both in lyrics and aesthetic

the overall production and performance of the song

is the song a bop? would I willingly listen to it again?

Couple of disclaimers: I do not speak Japanese so I will be crediting the translations of each song as I go through them along with any think pieces / essays that I come across. If there is any song I missed, please let me know and I’ll slot it into the rankings, its hard to find one source that has all the songs recorded. Finally, just a reminder because I know I'm gonna make someone mad, this is my list! If you don't like it make your own or ignore mine, I'm only one person and my opinion is not final!

With that in mind, my rankings are below the cut

*Least Best*

These are the songs I will probably never listen to again. I have a few gripes with them that I'll talk about in my explanation.

52. 誓いのカンパネラ (Chikai no Campanella)

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This song is just super underwhelming overall. The guitar is my favourite thing about the song but that's it. There is so much build up for a boring chorus. The lyrics don't have much for me either.

51. 血戦のDies irae (Kessen no Dies irae)

Tsukinami Brothers

~translation~

On the opposite end, this song is so overwhelming. There are so many elements to follow and its hard to keep up. This is the first time I'll bring it up but the volume of the voices is so quiet compared to the backing track, its frustrating. The lyrics is what brings it up a notch as it talks about the day of wrath (dies irae) as the day the founders take over. I was also low key hoping to hear some version of the dies irae song hidden in the background but I couldn't hear any.

50. S.O.S-ΑtoΩ-

Tsukinami Brothers

~translation~

This song just feels so forgettable, I just feel like there isn't much to comment on. There are some interesting lyrics sprinkled out like comparing literal self mutilation to abstinence. Also the actual delivery of 'S ah O ah S ah', I can't take it seriously.

49. Dystopia

Kino

~translation~

This had an interesting start because I hadn't heard anything similar for DL but then after a few lines the tone change was just a nope for me. Again, Kino's voice is super quiet and the constant barrage of all these instruments that don't really gel together its confusing. Overall, it didn't leave much of an impression and I couldn't really visualised DL in the song.

48. 吸愛ラビリンス (Kyūai Labyrinth)

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

Praise for the saxophone! Props to that because it shines here and is really the only memorable thing besides that final line of the chorus. The song does give the vibe of the Vandead Carnival with its more playful energy though. The lyrics feel really typical, like there are so many times I read lyrics about drinking blood before I get bored.

47. 極限(UNLIMITED) BLOOD -Remix ver.-

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation w/ original ver.~

I don't think I really need to hear EDM/dubstep and Diabolik Lovers again thanks. It feels super dated and the vocoded singing is a little much for my taste. Good source material and the stripped back vocals at some points is quite nice.

46. 愛しきPain (Itoshiki Pein)

Subaru

~translation~

First off please never let me see Subaru near a fedora again thanks. Overall I felt bored with this song, like its nice, but that it. There are similar sounding songs that just hit home similar themes a lot stronger later on. The best part of this song is the spoken word but it feels weird for Subaru to be singing such a slow song.

45. Luv Apple Juice

Ruki & Azusa

~translation~

Yes, I am counting Ruki's spoken word, its my list. Lyrics are a must read with references to Adam, Eve and Eden throughout. Again, the voices are super quiet and with how fast paced the instrumentals are its annoying. The tempo also backfires because these are two of the more 'chill' characters. The last complaint is that the speed of Ruki's speaking compared to Azusa's singing just isn't right.

44. DIE IS CAST

Kou & Yuma

~translation~

This has to be my least favourite opening to a song, the staccato is just really grating to me. The way I'd describe the chorus is loud, the same note over and over again isn't appealing. The lyrics are an interesting read but nothing feels super important. The highlight of the song is the pre-chorus, thanks production!

43. カレイドナイト (Kaleido Night)

Kanato & Subaru

~translation~

This song is just generic, like overall. The sound, the lyrics, the production. There just wasn't must for me to listen to without zoning out.

*Average*

These songs don't leave too much of a lasting impression on me, but I still enjoy them.

42. 苺の罪 (Ichigo no Tsumi) (strawberry sin)

Reiji

~translation~

First of the generic rock songs! I couldn't really find much in the lyrics of note I think the actual performance of the song is my favourite element here.

41. 真夜中の饗宴( MIDNIGHT PLEASURE) -Remix ver.

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation w/ original~

One the best part of the original is that opening section with the steps, it creates some nice anticipation for the coming song. The chorus this time round feels a little low energy after the hype of the pre-chorus. After watching the actual opening with the remix, I kind of wish they had the voice over, the song is so chill the last chorus could have it to make it feel more grandiose.

40. ZERO

Subaru

~translation~

Second generic rock song, this time it actually suits Subaru's brand! The lyrics do have some hints to Subaru as a character which is better. My sustaining thought is that this sounds like an off brand Arcadia.

39. Bloody★Mayim★Mayim

Sakamaki Brothers

~translation~

This has to have one of the strongest hooks for DL. For how many people sing in the song, it's easy to keep track of and the chemistry between them all is in sync. The main issue is that it feels like its missing some element to make it shine, the lyrics aren't in-depth too which brings it down another peg. The bridge/interlude is the best part though as I can visualise some mini story within the song here.

38. ADDICTED (2) PHANTOM

Ayato

~translation~

This song would be so much higher if I felt like it was more memorable cuz the lyrics here really shine. My interpretation is that this is Ayato questioning where his love stops and his sadistic nature to satiate his desires begin, can he separate the two? He both loves and despises the idea of draining his s/o dry. Another gripe with the song is that its not quite Ayato's aesthetic sonically.

37. Kindan no 666 (Three Six)

Kou & Azusa

~translation~

What puts this song so low is the majority of the instrumental, it takes a backseat here when I feel there could be more added. Props to percussion, drums are great though. After watching the MB opening so many times its hard to not see DL. Lyrics match with this one line here describing Kou in a nutshell:

"Sin spread from mouth to mouth, saying 'I’ll be gentle' pulls the trigger on a casual disaster!"

36. Iolite (アイオライト )

Shu

~translation~

I don't know why the producers associate electro-pop with Shu, I can't really see it much. I think they should have gone full glitch-pop instead considering how the song does a deep dive into his mind and thought process. Again, I think the voice is also quiet here but the instrumentals have some great moments, especially the strings.

35. 常夜KNOW UNDERSKIN

Sakamaki

~translation~

Well this gives Sakamaki vibes, nice guitar! Again, I like how it isn't overwhelming despite the amount of people involved. Lyrics aren't super impactful but super catchy.

34. 冷たい血 (Tsumetai Chi)

Ruki

~translation~

You have to read the lyrics while reading this, please! Its surprisingly wholesome and emotional overall. Again, there is the issue of the voice being way to quiet as the instrumentals swallow him whole after the second clock tick. The delivery is really well timed and production does a great job adding elements that works with the lyrics. There is a subtle echo to the voice that feels super enchanting as he comes to terms with the fact that he has fallen in love. Biggest drawback obviously is that this is just spoken word.

33. KISS♥MARK

Shu

~translation~

This song delves into the more perverse side of Shu, but we haven't really reached the level of Laito (we'll get there). The phone feels a little out of character but it suits that narrative. The straight cut out of music for the intermission was a bit abrasive but the transition back to music makes me forget about that with how slick it is. At least its better than a generic rock song.

32. カモフラージュ (Camouflage)

Shu & Laito

~translation~

What a great match up for subject matter, my interpretation is a denial and inability to accept oneself, ultimately using a mask to hide. So please look up the lyrics for some gems. However, after the 'against the blood' nothing really hit that same point sonically, furthermore its not the most aesthetically fitting for the two characters.

*Great*

These songs I actively enjoy, think about and do listen to occasionally and would recommend you check it out too.

31. >REDRUM<-

Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This song is full of anagrams in the lyrics, I mean look at the song title. Its super catchy and is hard to forget about. The bridge is the weakest part of this song but it is made up by the distortion of vocals after the final chorus.

30. Fanatic of Night

Sakamaki Brothers

~translation~

Well time to party, talk about a bop and a half! Its just so fun, even though its to exactly DL to me, but that's Lunatic Parade for you. Shout out to the guitarist and percussion once again.

29. Bad Howling

Shu, Ayato & Kou

~translation~

This is super catchy, its nice to hear Kou in the opening song this time round, it spices things up. Theres some really nice elements played with the vocals as they sing over one another that is really well balanced. The biggest peg down is that I don't get super DL vibes and the lyrics aren't the deepest.

28. I.M.I.T.A.T.I.O.N. G.A.M.E

Kino

~translation~

Overall this song is a little generic and doesn't sound like DL but! There is a lot to love here too. Starting off with the performance, I really like the vibrato in his voice and the decent of notes at the end of the chorus is just, yes. It a nice hook and the lyrics are pretty good too. My only other complaint is that the drums mask some smaller elements in the background of the song which would have been nice to hear more in the forefront.

27. 極限(UNLIMITED) BLOOD

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This is where the rankings get pretty hard cuz I wish this was higher but oh well. the dramatic shift from the opening piano to the song is so abrupt but it gets you pumped. The intermission does a good job of changing things up without cutting tension. The lyrics themselves seem to be from the view of the Adam project during more blood and the unquenchable thirst they get in the story.

26. アルカディア (Arcadia)

Ayato

~translation~

Immediately I get Ayato vibes from this song and the rapping does help too with a nice flow that isn't too jarring from the rest of the song. These lyrics are basically Addicted2Phantom on steroids, I can't see anyone else other than Ayato in them.

25. Kekkyoku Night

Ayato

~translation~

Don't know why but the guitar melody just seems like I had heard it before but I can't put my finger on it. The bass is super slick here and I really enjoy it. The vocal distortion at the start of the verse sets a scene for him to hunt down this person and its a narrative choice. The main issue is that I wish there was a little more pizzaz to the chorus.

24. Kaikan DEATH-TRUCTION

Kanato

~translation~

Spoilers but I have placed both a Kanato's songs pretty high up so this was a little bit of a let down after the other two. The main issues here is that I don't really get too much of Kanato in the song and the yelling before the chorus is a little much. This, to me, is a self reflection from Kanato which is a good switch up from his last two songs. Overall, the song is abrasive in a good way that isn't overwhelming and the 8-bit section is my fave.

23. 血濡れた密会 (BLOODY SABBATH)

Laito

~translation~

Oh boy, look these lyrics up for a good time. This song is about his hook up with a women with the song getting progressively darker as it goes on. Nice psycho reference but I don't know if it does much in the end. Really catchy hook and the escalation of the final chorus is just so good. Also I'm just going to leave this line from the song here:

“You wend all out with the rodeo girl play? So then, let’s grind!!!”

22. 幻日理論-Parhelion Logic

Ayato

~translation~

This song is meant to be kind of an open letter to Cordelia and my word these lyrics are haunting. It fits the vibe of Haunted Dark Bridal so well, super strong overall. I just wish there was a stronger performance vocally.

21. 暴言シンドローム (Seiron Syndrome)

Yuma

~translation~

Yuma, to me has some pretty good observation skills and its really highlighted here. The first line just hits the nail on the head in terms of how rough he is both in and out of the bedroom. This song is the best of the 'generic rock' with production being really smooth despite the high energy, it matches him really well. First line:

The pain of your sprained neck won’t subside

20. 蠱惑のParade (Kowaku no Parade)

Reiji & Kanato

~translation~

We got another catchy banger here! This song just screams 'the two of us are here to hunt you down and we won't stop till we get a taste.' I mean this song is super pleasing aesthetically and great lyrics to boot!

19. KILLYOU,AGAIN

Azusa

~translation~

The strings are an immediate attention grabber and its hold it throughout the whole song. Super catchy, and these lyrics are Azusa, especially this chorus. Id be interested to hear what people think about the second verse in particular cuz there's a lot to read into:

"In a worn out state of mind, no matter how many nights we question it... We’ve idealised too much."

18. SQueeze…

Subaru

~translation~

Okay before anything else, the squeeze at the start is goofy, I can't take it seriously. Anyway, I can't help but tap my foot to this song. Third times the charm, finally hitting Subaru's aesthetic to a T. The voice is a little quiet on the track but what takes over just sounds so good. The contrast of the bell and the guitar is just, yes thank you. The pre-chorus is a nice mix up to the status quo and these lyrics are great too.

17. 愛の檻 (Ai no Ori)

Ayato & Laito

~translation~

The opening is a nice tone setter for a haunting head bopper. These voices work together so well, just like how the sirens work with the strings. The singular violin during the bridge is great, praise to anyone who can do that my god. The string motif climaxes at the final chorus and it creates an awesome song!

16. 月蝕(Eclipse)

Kou, Yuma & Azusa

~translation~

Well we have a nice build up ballad here. The opening is a little out of place but I forget about it as it builds to this final chorus with the tempo getting faster and faster. The stripped back production also ends up aiding the song in the end with its punches and message. Speaking of which; I get the idea this is about watching some either currently or in retrospective how their personality changes after turning into a vampire; a loss of innocence. How fitting for the Mukami's.

“Despising the sunlight that filters through the blinds is only inevitable, I suppose”

*Faves*

This is what I think the best of the best is. It reflects the themes, ideas and characters of Diabolik Lovers in the best way possible. When people ask me what music from the franchise to listen to, I point to these songs.

15. Count off

Kino

~translation~

There is so much to talk about here, this is a mix of singing and spoken piece and it works so well for me. The delivery over this contagious beat I can't help but get hints of a k-pop vibe here. The movement to singing then vocoded voice are interesting and fun. The bridge switch up too is great, my only wish is that the choir hand a little more presence in the final chorus cuz its fun the first times round, it would be a nice call back.

14. A Certain Prophet's Fate [とある預言者の、運命 Toaru Yogensha no Unmei]

Reiji

~translation~

I can visualise a Nutella Kookie moodboard with this opening alone. To me, this is Reiji explain his views on women with allusions to Faust too, not the Ikemen version relax. there are some cool allusions to his mother in the lyrics too. The bass is so cool to listen out for and the guitar nodding to the chorus at the end is a nice way to end. I was just hoping for a little continuation to the opening like Reiji finding this person escaping on horseback.

13. CHAOS☆PARTY

Laito

~translation~

Aaaaaand another innuendo song from Laito, what a surprise! The jazzy, circus-pop vibes are super fun and catchy, I love it. It's like an upgraded version of Bloody Sabbath to me. The distortion on the guitar is also great to listen out for.

"Don’t decide where’s the critical point, grind as you feel it,

Till the moon oh, mockingly"

12. Mr.ButterflyMask

Reiji

~translation~

The opening may be cliche but it works so well, this is such a deep dive into Reiji's psyche; his mother, inferiority complex and village burning to name a few. The actual song is easy to remember which makes it even better here, the descending notes at the end of the chorus is a highlight.

"Burnt black, that awful land mark"

11. 真夜中の饗宴 (MIDNIGHT PLEASURE)

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

The song to start it all, thank god it's such a highlight. I get so hyped from hearing the opening footsteps; mirroring the prologue with You stepping into the mansion for the first time. I feel so nostalgic for this and I'm hyped to play the game every time I hear this. The spoken section is the high point in terms of the HDB aesthetic but these lyrics maaaannn:

"With a scream that shatters the moon itself I’ll give you this extraordinary pain called “love”!"

10. Guilty×Guilty!!!

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

I'm gonna get crucified for putting this above midnight pleasure but my list and this is my fave game op. The only peg down is the lyrics but it makes up so much for the actual sound variation. The unnerving energy from this scifi-y noise, it screams danger with the Tsunami arrival. The variation between the two verses in robs what places it high and the bridge is excellent to boot.

9. Farewell Song

Shu

~translation~

If I had to make one song recommendation outside of DL with this list it is this song here. The lyrics and melody match up the same way and both are strong in their own right. Onto the song, these lyrics really shine wrangling with ideas and the thought process of depression; something that hits close to home for me. With the inclusion of the destructive nature vampires its truely impactful. The sound of the song aids these lyrics too while all sounding like Shu.

Without pause, the drops of a drizzle had begun to weep...

...Comforting the screams of the things you’ve touched"

8. Mr.SADISTIC NIGHT

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This is my favourite opening of all the games and anime and it is the most on theme with the DL franchise, not just the one game. The guitar rifts at the start are just sooooo iconic. The actual line "Mr Sadistic Night" is delivered so well too. I mean the song speaks for itself. I will make the observation though that this song is the epitome of kids unknowingly singing a song with dirty lyrics.

"If I’m so aroused by the snare of your enticing blood

Tonight, as I thrust deep into you, a lust for death awakens from within you!"

7. 悪魔的（Devil's）Spire!!!!

Kou

~translation~

This song is just Kou at his best, I can imagine him singing this at a concert as a debut single. It has all the elements of a catchy pop song with some sinister elements that just reflects his personality. Production has my praise here too. The song seems to be a friends with benefits situation Kou has as he recounts the tale. Also, more innuendos:

"In the deep red velvet sheets, Do you want to taste my forbidden syrup?"

6. Operation X

Tsukinami Brothers

~translation~

Haven't seen these guys in a while! You can tell production had fun adding all these medical sounds in the back like the sirens and heart monitor. The song itself is super catchy too, that bass just hits you at the core! The lyrics look like the Tsukinami's observation of You as she has become entangled with all these vampires and the situation just seems to spiral even more out of control.

"The risk spreads further the deeper you get involved...

...The more you give up, the more that guy mocks you"

5. GRATEFUL★DEAD★MARCH

Kanato

~translation~

Production had fun again, you can tell. It's more upbeat there is still a sinister vibe here. The constant switch ups within the song all flow so well. I feel genuine despair listening to this chorus, like Kanato is mocking or toying with me before going in for the kill. My only complaint is that the slowing down at the end is a bit of a mood killer.

4. 切断★舞踏会 (KIRISAKI CARNIVAL)

Kanato

~translation~

In terms of character aesthetic, this is sheer perfection. There is a narrative within this song that you need to look at the lyrics for the best experience. The sound effects act as a good way to heighten the story as they match the lyrics. One moment to note it both the chorus and pre-chorus as they act as the extreme ends on Kanato's personality and it creates a great dichotomy when placed together.

3. Q.E.D.

laito

~translation~

My favourite solo song, and the one I constantly visit the most. Laito is a complex character and this song does a self reflection in the best way possible.I would also recommend reading this great analysis by everything laito because I can't do a proper analysis justice. For the song itself, the piano is a great mood setter as it acts as if we are approaching Laito as he plays the piano about to go into one of his many monologues to himself. The intercut from the piano to the guitar is abrupt but it works so well as if there are crack in his facade showing through. The change back to the piano is great too and isn't distracting in any way. I also think this is such an emotional performance, like I can feel the sadness and despair along with almost a self deprecating humour to the delivery. Top notch stuff

2. 罠-If You’re Diablo- (Wana -If You’re Diablo-)

Mukami Brothers

~translation~

I want mention first off that the spoken word from Ruki is such an aid here, the pace is slower, more haunting and despair-inducing in tone. The speaking adds a nice break to the vocals. The chorus in particular packs such a punch its kind of nice to lie on the ground and just let the song envelop you. The lyrics give the impression that there is a mutually destructive relationship here with the Mukami's mentioning of betrayal yet they suck the blood of this person. There is also a feeling of hopelessness that the Mukami's know they can never achieve their goal of becoming Adam.

"I'd been resigned to become Adam since who-knows-when...

I continue to hate this fate, my prayers in zero"

1. Gin no Bara

Sakamaki Brothers

~translation~

And we're finally at the end! This song encapsulates everything that Diabolik Lovers is. Vocally, it's really catchy with such a somber vibe, because that's what DL is. It's a dark series but you can see that darkness with each backstory, the actions these characters take and just the overall hopelessness in this one song. The Sakamaki's all singing together packs such a punch too. There are so many gems in these lyrics, to literally acknowledging the pain and suffering their mothers' caused and coming to terms with the actions they have committed as they fall in love.

"The proof remains on your neck while you sleep quietly Even if an eternal curse awaits me beyond those overflowing tears

I now hold this love and pain in my chest"

*SHOUTOUTS*

I want to give a huge shout out to the following people. They have helped immensely with translation and just overall accessibility to the songs because they would be 1000 times more harder to find without them.

Silvermoon249 (Live Journal)

Asyqin98 Creator (YouTube)

S I s o v o l i (Youtube)

DIABOLIK LOVERS (YouTube)

Dialovers otaka (Tumblr)

Starlight voices (Tumblr)

Cannonette (Tumblr) @canonette

The Precious Sugar Chan (Tumblr)

One final note, I would recommend listening to these with headphones because the audio sometimes does that thing where it jumps from ear to ear and it creates the best effect to be more involved in the atmosphere.

[0bsess3d]

lies | j.m. | part one

masterlist

JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader x Best Friend!OC

A/N: So idk if I like this or if I’m even going to continue this series (it’ll probably take a while). I also have no idea if I’m even gonna keep this shit up. I hope you enjoy it tho. also, the name sucks i know that, but i may change it later on idk.

Warnings: Cursing, Lying, I think that’s about it rn.

Word Count: 1.2K

Summary: Instead of rejecting your friend, you tell him you’re taken, which is a complete and total lie. Now that he’s asking to meet this so-called boyfriend of yours, you’re going to need someone to play the role of your imaginary love interest.

It was a shame that this great day was coming to an end. It was the first day of Summer Break, so, just like every other summer, you and your best friend spent the whole day on the water. Only, this time, you used his father’s new boat instead of your brother’s. It was now around 9 in the afternoon, and Julian was now driving you back to the chateau. Julian’s old truck finally came to a stop in front of the chateau, meaning that the fun was now officially over. “Thanks for the ride.” You went to open the door before Julian grabbed your other hand, stopping you. “What’s wrong?”

“I uh just need to ask you something.” You could tell he had something on his mind on the ride over here. He’s been all quiet which is very unusual for him, and he kept tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“What is it?” You queried suspiciously and somewhat afraid.

“Do you- Would you wanna go out somewhere Friday night? Like, as a date?” You froze, still processing what he had asked. You had no idea he liked you this way. You had only ever thought of your relationship as purely platonic. You were just best friends. And only ever that.

“Julian-”

“You don’t feel the same way, do you?” He nodded after you didn’t reply, not looking you in the eye. “Oh my god, I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” He just seems so sad and disappointed. You had to come up with something -- anything -- to make him feel better, even if it was just a teeny tiny bit.

“No, Julian, it’s okay. It’s just that I- I’ve been seeing someone.” You felt bad about lying to him. To be honest, it felt childish. Like you were in middle school again, making up a boyfriend to make yourself look “cool” to all of your friends. Obviously, this occasion was different. This time, you’re lying to protect your friendship from being ruined by the awkwardness that would surely follow up this conversation.

He was surprised, but there was still a hint of disappointment and maybe even embarrassment left on his face. “Oh- You haven’t mentioned anything about a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, we’ve kept it a secret for a while, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag.” You ended it with a slight chuckle. Ever since you were little, you’ve been a great liar. It was just a natural talent that you were born with. And it really did come in handy in times such as these.

Julian sighed, looking down at his floorboard. “I’m happy for you.” He gave a small, friendly smile. “Disappointed, but happy nonetheless.” The look he gave you made you feel guilty for lying to him. But, this was for the greater good, right? Because you felt like you were doing the right thing. “I do want to meet this boy, though.” He added, giving you a sick, nervous feeling deep down in the pit of your stomach.

“You do?” Your eyes widened for a split second before you told your body to keep calm. This lie of yours had already started to backfire, and you had only said it a few seconds ago. How the hell are you going to get out of this one?

“Hell, yeah, I do. As your best friend, it’s my job to make sure the guy you’re dating isn’t a complete asshole.” He elbowed your side after the phrase “best friend,” making you a hell of a lot more guilty than you already were. He gasped, pulling you out of your thoughts. “You should totally invite him to the movie night this Saturday. I’ll let Kassi know that you’re bringing him.”

He seems way happier to meet him than you are.

--

As soon as you got inside the house, you launched yourself onto the couch, your face landing right beside where your brother was sitting. You let out a muffled groan into the cushions below you.

“What’s wrong?” John B asked, stifling a chuckle.

“I’m an idiot.”

“Well, we all knew that already.” He laughed. You picked yourself up from the couch and sat beside him the correct way, giving him a death glare. “What happened, though?”

“Julian asked me out on a date, and, obviously, I only like him as a friend. But I couldn’t just say no because then it would make everything awkward. So, I did the only thing that made sense to me. I told him that I had a boyfriend that I’ve been keeping a secret. And the problem with that is that he wants to meet him now.” You rambled on.

John B laughed a little at your situation, earning a glare from you. “That sounds like a situation you’d get yourself into.” 

You hit his shoulder. “Shut up, asshole. I need advice, not for you to make fun of me.” 

“Okay, okay.” He thought for a second. “Try and find someone to pretend to be your boyfriend. Not someone he knows, though, because then he’ll catch you in the lie.”

“Who would I ask, though?”

John shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s your problem. I got to get ready for bed.”

You rolled your eyes. “Well, thanks for helping, jerk.” You said with sarcasm laced in your voice.

“No problem, sis, love you.” The next sound that was heard was your annoying brother’s bedroom door slamming shut and then the sound of your groaning.

Then, from the kitchen, you hear the voice of someone that you didn’t even know was in your house at the moment. JJ Maybank. “I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend.” Your head snapped in his direction.

“You’re serious?” You questioned, relieved that you didn’t have to beg any of your other friends to do this.

“Yes, I’m serious. But you’ll owe me.” JJ moved from the kitchen to where you sat on the couch.

“Of course, thank you so much, JJ.”

--

“Nope, there is no way you are pretending to date my sister.” John B hollered from the other side of your father’s boat. You had just explained to everyone yesterday’s events, and everyone except for your brother didn’t have a problem with it.

“Come on, John B, please. It was your idea in the first place to find a fake boyfriend.” You tried to reason with the stubborn, stubborn boy you called your brother.

“I didn’t mean my best friend!” He shouted before pointing over at Kiara. “Kie, you’re the one that created the “no pogue on pogue macking” rule. Why are you okay with this?”

Kie shrugged. “John B, they aren’t going to actually date. It’s just pretending.” John kept silent as if he was rethinking his opinion on the whole matter.

JJ then spoke up, “She’s not wrong, JB. You know I wouldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t break the  Bro Code.” 

John glanced over at JJ and nodded. “Okay, okay. I guess you guys are right.” The rest of the pogues cheered before being interrupted by your brother again. “But, if I see any PDA, real or fake, I’m murdering you both.”

“Got it, brother-in-law.”

“And don’t call me that, JJ.”

[obae-me]

Hi! I was wondering if I could ask for a hc about the demon brothers reacting to an mc who has low self-esteem and uses dark humor as a way to cover it up? Thank you, and I hope have a nice day!!

Thank you for your request! I love angst solved with fluff, and with someone who struggles with low self esteem this is pretty self-indulging. I really hope you like these! 💜

Lucifer

Being more observant than some of his other brothers, he notices MC’s behavior rather quickly.

It really hit him when they missed class one day, bombing an important test. When he came back home he went straight to their room, ready to scold them for hours.

When confronted, they just shrugged and joked about it, saying that they wouldn’t have done any better anyway seeing as how dumb they were. They laughed like it was a fun joke, but Lucifer was taken aback. This wasn’t how humans normally joked around, right?

Being the Demon of Pride, he didn’t understand how anyone could put themselves down so easily.

He noticed more darker jokes like that popping up in casual conversations more and more frequently, and now he had a mind to put a stop to it.

It started with the subtle gestures. The way he talked to MC more softly. The way he sometimes walked next to them with a gentle hand on their back. How every so often he would rub the top of their head anytime they did something good. However, anything he did didn’t seem to be slowing the behavior. So he needed to be more direct.

He approached MC on a night that the self-depreciating humor was especially bad. He met them privately, and lifted their chin with one of his gloved hands while the other rested on MC’s shoulder.

“The House of Lamentation has an image to uphold...so of course we would never have let you in here if you would not have fit in that image.” His face was serious, but his eyes were gentle. “While you are in my presence, know that you...even while being human...are a magnificent being. So I expect these jokes to cease.”

He will now give MC compliments more often than not, and if he ever hears them make another dark joke about themselves, he’ll say their name sternly, and will wait for them to say something different.

Mammon

Doesn’t pick up on it for the longest time. Ever since MC came to the Devildom, he’s always been teasing and jabbing them, calling them names but with nothing harmful behind it.

Anytime he would call MC dumb or stupid they’d always laugh with him and agree, so they must’ve thought it was funny!

It wasn’t until he joked around with MC about how “typically dumb” they were being, not knowing that MC had just went through a particularly tough day. They tried playing it off, but felt different. The joke didn’t feel half as funny after MC smiled a crooked smile and their eyes went watery.

He tried following them to their room but was turned away. Left shut outside the entrance he always seemed to be allowed in. All because of some joke he made. All the things he had previously said struck him in that moment. Had he ever really said anything good about MC since they had been here?

He couldn’t make jokes like that anymore.

Now instead of “stupid human” he would tell them how smart they were to have him around. He would tell MC how cool they were to be hanging with the one and only Mammon. He didn’t let just anyone stick with him, so if MC was there, they had to be special.

Of course all the compliments had to have him in it, but the new smile MC seemed to show appeared much more genuine.

“Hey, human! I mean...MC. You can’t go saying sad stuff about yourself anymore, even if they’re jokes! Because...because...The Great Mammon wouldn’t hang out with people who were actually that scummy! That’s right, you’ve got some great potential, you could even be my apprentice! So don’t...say stuff about yourself like that anymore...”

MC seemed to now find all sorts of new things they had never had before. A new jacket just their size on their bed. A new phone case slipped into their bag. All sorts of gifts just happened to show up anywhere they went. Mammon’s way of saying he cared, since he could never bring it up with words.

Levi

He knows the feeling of low self esteem. He feels like a dirty, good-for-nothing shut-in. But when he heard MC make similar jokes, he couldn’t take it. He was mostly confused. MC had so many things he didn’t, so many things he was envious of, so why was MC of all people feeling that way?

He invited MC to his room to play games, planning on letting them win so maybe they could feel better. Unfortunately he has a hard time letting go of his true try-hard nature, and ends up winning anyway.

MC just laughs at their loss, claiming that it’s just another thing to check off their Loser list. They’d be the winner at losing, on the bright side.

Levi can’t take it anymore. He grabbed the controller in MC’s hand, put it aside and turned off his console. He couldn’t really look MC in the eye, but had to let them know how he felt.  “MC...I can understand me feeling that way but...you’re wonderful, you have everything I don’t, so I don’t want to hear you say anything bad about yourself when-when I’m obviously worse!” 

He’ll attempted to put himself down even more to try to lift MC up. Which MC didn’t tolerate in the slightest.

They argued for a while over which of them was worse, which luckily was short lived. They both sat down in silence, neither of them wanting to make eye contact. That was until Levi gently grabbed MC’s sleeve, tugging it, his face against their shoulder. “Y-you’re the closest thing I’ve had to a friend in my life...I-I won’t let anyone put you down, not even yourself.” He goes on and on about a specific anime plot, where the one of the main characters has to fight their childhood friend because they’ve been put under a curse. After the ramble, he makes sure to clarify by meaning that no matter what you’re going through, he’ll make sure you’re safe and happy. 

They make a new game with each other that anytime one of them says anything bad about themselves, they have to say something equally nice about themselves. The person who loses has to give their favorite possession away. Maybe that’ll keep them from saying anything bad in the first place.

Satan

He’ll read MC like book, so to speak, but he has no idea how to handle it. He’s only read about similar personalities in his stories and occasionally with Levi. He doesn’t know how to best approach MC about it.

He’ll plan it out, probably like a battle plan. If he wants the best possible outcome, he’s going to need everything just right. The perfect setting, the perfect circumstance.

He settled on what he was sure was the perfect outcome, a rainy Devildom day. It was the weekend so everyone was either at home or out having fun. He knew MC was home in their room, so he headed there with several books he was sure they would enjoy.

When MC let him in, he was sure their face was redder than usual, and their eyes a bit more puffy. “Have you been crying, MC?”

“No that’s just how my ugly face looks.” And they laughed.

The plan was totally trashed now. Satan flared up with anger, dropping his books all over the ground. He took MC by the shoulder and pinned them against the wall. He was mad. Mad that someone like MC, someone who made him genuinely feel calm and happy, could say something about themselves like that. Like it was a joke. Like they were a joke.

“Stop saying things like that. How can you just go joking around like you don’t matter?! Do you know how much you mean to all of us?! To me?!” He took a deep breath and loosened the grip on MC’s shoulders, smoothing out the new wrinkles in their clothes. The aura of anger around him subsiding. “I know how to help you out with this, I have some...self help books in my possession. Purely out of curiosity of course. I’ll be here...to read them with you.”

After that Satan makes sure to meet with MC at least once a week to read books together. Stories about overcoming great obstacles, some self-help ones, and stories that make MC feel better in general. 

He’ll also check up on MC frequently, making sure they feel better about themselves, even if it’s just a fraction of what it was before. 

Asmo

It’s not until after they’d made a pact together that Asmo truly understood how MC felt of themselves. Asmo almost felt guilty he didn’t start complimenting them more before then, but guilt didn’t look appealing, but neither did what MC was doing.

He saves up a bit of money to be able to take MC on a massive spending spree. All his treat.

He doesn’t really give MC no for an answer when it’s time, and will drag them to all the greatest Devildom shops. He’ll pick outfits for them he knows will complement them, so they won’t have to be self conscious about their body. 

Will complement MC to heaven and back. Their hair, their eyes, the curves on their body, the way their cheeks look when they laugh. Everything. 

However, all this backfires when MC gives Asmo all the outfits back. “This was fun Asmo...but there’s no point spending money on me when nothing will make me look good.”

Asmo dragged MC into the brightly lit fitting room. He took both of MC’s hands in his. “MC, that kind of talk is not attractive! You can’t say such things when you’re as beautiful as you are! Trust me, there’s no one as beautiful as me, but...you’re a solid second place.” He’ll place a soft kiss on MC’s hands. “You’re stunning, so stunning I...I...I’m going to buy all these things for you right now, and anything else you want I’ll get! Shopping always cheers me up!”

It’s not like him to think of anyone else other than himself, so he got himself all worked up and flustered. But anytime he thought of MC...anytime he imagined that they thought of themselves any less of how he thought of them. It left a bad feeling in his chest that he needed to get rid of. 

Won’t give MC any sort of time to deny or joke around any longer. He’ll compliment them now all the time, making sure they know just how amazing they are.

Beel

He surprisingly pick up on it immediately, even faster than any of his other brothers. The things MC does and says remind him of things he felt when Lilith... He couldn’t let MC do that any longer. 

He tried to solve the problem at first by changing the subject any time any sort of joke like that came up. It didn’t seem to help. Whenever MC had the chance they would make some sort of joke. He couldn’t just try to distract them to help, he needed to fix this. 

He decided maybe it would help their mood if he were to take MC to a fancy restaurant. Just the two of them, so they could talk about it. He didn’t like talking too much but there would be food too. Eating always made him feel better.

While eating, they heard MC make a joke pertaining on how they don’t belong in a place so fancy. Suddenly the food in Beel’s mouth didn’t taste as good anymore.

He’ll stand up and come right over to MC, pulling them out of their chair and into the tightest, most protective hug they had ever had in their life. Bringing MC so close to him, he almost completely covered them with his own body. Some other demons were staring, but he didn’t mind. 

“I’ve always loved food, but ever since you came to the Devildom, food always tastes like a gourmet banquet every time...but when you say stuff like that, MC...it reminds me of Solomon’s cooking.”

MC laughed while against his chest. The laugh sounded different, it sounded happier than when they made those dark jokes. He wanted them to always sound like that. He would do almost anything to keep that sound so joyful. 

Beel squeezed them tighter.  “If you keep joking like that...food won’t taste as good anymore...” 

Learns all of MC’s favorite meals and snacks so they always have something on hand for when MC needs a little boost.

Belphie

He notices MC’s behavior and their sense of humor and tends to be the enabler. He has that same type of humor, so it’s hard to stop, even if he doesn’t want MC to do the same thing.

He feels guilty about this and so he avoids MC for a while, not really knowing that this is making it worse. Whenever he shows up for meals or meets them during class he sees that avoiding them has made the jokes even worse.

He doesn’t want to talk about all the nightmares he’s been having about MC. About all the awful things that happen to them, either by his hands or something he couldn’t stop. He wanted the nightmares to end, he wanted all the self-bad-talk to end. All so he, Beel, and MC could finally have that happy dream. 

 So he takes MC up to the attic, having preparing the bed so it was covered in plush pillows and incredibly soft blankets. Anything he used to make him feel better.

He wraps MC in one of these blankets without a word, and then shoved them towards the bed. He was still learning how to be gentle with a human.

He’s not really good with words, he’s quiet when he’s awake and when he’s asleep, which is most of the time, he doesn’t need to say anything.

So he lays in bed with MC, grasping the blanket he put around their shoulders tight.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I just wanted...you to stop...So stop.” He attempted to be his typical brisk and demanding self, but it fell short. He sounded upset. He picked up one of the pillows in the pile, pointing it at MC like a weapon. “Stop.” He bopped them on the head with it. “Stop. Or I’ll continue to hit you with my pillow.”

He’s not joking. If at any point after that MC makes any sort of joke to try to cover the fact that they said anything bad about themselves, he will gently hit them with his pillow, giving them a long silent glare until they stop.

[saiki-in-jsl]

Cinderella Kubokai AU (The Saiki Side Story)

A continuation of this. Do read this first though, idk if this post will make sense if you don’t.

So Kusuo pretending to be Shun at a royal ball where he has to socialize and find a suitable wife for Shun. Easy? No.

In fact, screw that noise, Kusuo strongly believed Shun didn’t like girls anyway, so it’d be a hassle to pretend to hook up with someone only for that relationship to fail when Shun comes back. So Kusuo literally avoids everyone during the whole event.

Then Shun’s mom eyed him like, “Socialize rn.”

Which basically forced Kusuo to talk to women. 

Obviously, he doesn’t want to embarrass Shun, so Kusuo acts accordingly to all the girls that come up to him. He smiles, nods, have small talk, and he makes sure he isn’t too charming but not too boring either.

Somehow, it backfires, and Kusuo isn’t sure if girls only like him because he’s a prince or because they’re easy to swoon. Or maybe it’s because Shun’s naturally good looking, something Kusuo isn’t afraid to admit.

Cue Teruhashi, a princess that attends ball for the sake of just blessing the event with her beauty rather than to actually get with someone. Now, we all know Kusuo, he’ll be nice sure, but he isn’t the type to get swooned. So Teruhashi’s counting the number of gasps and then suddenly; “Why is the prince not gasping at my beauty??”

Cue Yumehara, a fair maiden from a fairly rich family that always wanted a sweet prince and princess romance. You know what happens next.

Cue Mera, who Kusuo is pretty sure is just here to eat, and he doesn’t mind really. 

Cue Imu, who’s just really here for Teruhashi, but because Teruhashi is after Kusuo/Shun, a weird love triangle forms.

Aiura isn’t here because she’s one of the helpers keeping real Shun safe; she’s the one that tells Kusuo what happened to Shun too.

Anyway, love at first sight isn’t real to Mommy Kaidou so she’s like, “Alright, all u girls who stuck with my son the most get to stay at the castle for four months and we’ll see which one my boy likes the most <3″

Each month Shun/Kusuo will pick which girl gets to go home, so it’s like some weird bachelor game. At first Kusuo says, “No thanks, Shun come home rn” by using Aiura’s crystal ball to transmit his message while Shun is looking at a lake water or something.

But Shun’s like, “But I like this temporary life, can you cover for me some more?”

Kusuo:

Shun: pls.

Kusuo: Just know I am not doing this because I’m nice, I’m doing this because I owe you one.

Shun: You don’t owe me any--

Kusuo: Silence.

So while Shun had a cottagecore romance with a criminal, Kusuo spent the next four months strategically making all the girls avoid him/like him less while also keeping Shun’s reputation polished.

Mera obviously left first, because honestly, no hard feelings. She ate her fill. Kinda.

Kusuo’s well aware Imu has a thing for Teruhashi, so he plays matchmaker and tries to make the two get together. It works! So the two leave together on the second month.

Unfortunately, Yumehara is kinda hard to get rid of, so hard, even I haven’t thought of an idea yet. So I’ll leave it. For now.

Other things:

“Shun, darling, how come you haven’t taken off your earrings yet? Don’t you like your other ones?” Mrs Kaidou

“I like this one. Best.” Kusuo/Shun *sweats*

-

“Hey, pal, where’s the chibi?” and “Hey chibi, where’s my pal?” constantly haunts Kusuo.

-

Teruhashi’s brother comes in at some point then proceeds to have a romance with Kusuke.

-

Meanwhile, Aren begins to realize then, “Wait this is the prince ?” But he’s kind of an idiot so whenever he sees Shun do something remotely amazing, that realization gets debunked in an instant.

“That’s a nice forest spirit you got there. Tell me, how much?” Saiko why are you like this fr.

Aren: No.

Saiko: Can’t argue with that. Just kidding, I can. Here, a bag of gold.

Aren: no.

Saiko: A box of gold.

Aren: no.

Saiko: A chest of gold.

Aren: no.

Saiko: >:(

Shun: Gold is kinda boring, I see it everyday (He says this because he’s a prince and he sees gold often.)

What Aren thought he meant; “I’m a forest spirit, materialistic things such as this do not matter to me.”

What Saiko thought he meant; “Ur gold ain’t shit, get out.”

[cursedwriter]

Guitar Lessons

Request: Anon: Hi. I really love your Robert Pattinson fanfic. I was hoping if you would do one in which Robert teaches the reader how to play guitar.

Author’s Note: Thanks for reading and thanks for the request! Hope you like it!

Word Count: 1.8k

“Do you play?,” you asked him, hands dancing over the outline of the instrument absentmindedly. When he didn’t answer, you looked up, meeting his gaze which was already trained at you. Automatically, you felt the blood rushing to your cheeks. His piercing blue eyes never leaving yours when a shy smile edged on the corner of his lips. Eventually, he shrugged. You stared at him, disbelieving … but then again, not surprised. “Of course you do,” you exclaimed, fake irritation laced in your tone. “I mean, is there one thing you can’t do?” Playfully you jabbed him in his side and his melodic laughter echoed off the walls.  

“Trust me, there’s loads I’m not good at.”  

You huffed, “Yeah, right.” He laughed again as he mustered your irritated expression, this time it was genuine.  

“I could teach you, though,” he offered, his grin all smug now. “If you’d like to learn that is.”  

You thought about it for a second, taking the beautiful guitar off its stand next to where you were sitting on the couch and placed it on your legs. You pulled a string and the sound rang in your ears. Once the sound faded, there was silence.  

When you looked at him again, he was still just looking at your face as if his eyes were somehow glued to it. Briefly you wondered if you had something between your teeth or if there was something on your face that had caught his attention like that. Otherwise you couldn’t explain the sudden curiosity and interest that seemed to radiate in his eyes. He looked genuinely intrigued by every little facial expression. As if he tried to read between the lines of what you were saying and somehow he seemed to find the answer in your face. You sighed.  

“You know, as a kid I actually had lessons, but you know how it is… One day I beg my parents to sign me up and the next I throw a fit because I don’t want to go anymore…” You grimaced at the memory flashes. “Well, needless to say, my parents eventually gave up to persuade me to go and now I’m a talentless waste of space because my parents didn’t beat some sense into me!”  

Rob laughed again as he took the guitar from your loose grip and placed it on his lap instead. “Well, for one you’re obviously not talentless and secondly it’s never too late to start again.”  

“You really don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”  

He feigned hurt. “Some trust, please? I’m a good teacher!”  

“Yeah, that might be true, but I’m a horrible student,” you explained, trying to sound very serious but failing miserably as soon as he started with his contagious laughter. There was no way anyone was immune to that.  

“We’ll see about that,” he winked and then a sweet melody filled the room as his hands danced over the instrument expertly. There was no way in hell, you’d ever be able to pull that off… and by the look on his face it was obvious that he knew that too.

“Show-off,” you mumbled under your breath. You weren’t sure if he’d heard you, because he didn’t stop playing – and you didn’t want him to – but the grin on his face suddenly turned into a huge smile that looked entirely too smug. Yeah, he definitely heard you.

“Okay, so now it’s your turn.” The melody stopped too soon for your liking. You could’ve listened to him play for hours. You looked down at his outstretched hands, dread washing through your body as you realized he was handing the guitar back to you.  

“Uh no, definitely not.” You shook your head.  

“C’mon, Y/N, I won’t laugh. Just show me what you already know. I need to know where you stand, if you want me to teach you.”  

You stood up from the couch, crossing your arms in front of your chest, refusing to even touch the guitar again. You were not going to make a fool out of yourself… well, not more than usual at least.  

“First of all, you will laugh. I know you, Rob, okay? You laugh at literally anything, so you’ll definitely laugh at this. And secondly, I never asked you to teach me,” you paused before you added, “that was your idea, not mine. And I didn’t even agree to it!”  

“Y/N, c’mon. What’s the big deal? It’s not like I’m forcing you to play in front of an audience or something… it’s just me. No need to be embarrassed.” He gave you a reassuring smile, the guitar still in his extended arms, ready for you to take.  

And while his words were meant to calm you down and ease your nerves, they had the complete opposite effect. Sure enough, you’d rather play in front of an audience if that meant you wouldn’t have to play in front of him. You’d rather make a fool out of yourself in front of people that you didn’t care about than have him laugh at you, though, of course he wouldn’t mean it in a malicious way. Ever since you got to know him you knew that you felt something more than mere friendship for him, though, you had never told him that and would never tell him that, afraid that you could ruin everything if you did. He probably didn’t feel the same way about you anyway. At least, he never gave something away in that sense. Well, and typically he was a pretty open book – always said what he thought and even if he didn’t, his actions gave him away if his words didn’t. And so, given that he never said or did anything that led you to believe he liked you in that way too that made it more than obvious that your feelings were one-sided. Despite that, if there was one person in the world you wanted to impress, it was him. And you knew that you could lose any form of dignity if you caved in and played in front of him. This would be humiliating.  

“No, I think I gotta pass,” you said with a smile, trying to take some of the seriousness out of your words, trying to hide your true thoughts behind them. “I get stage fright, no matter the size of the audience… So I can’t do that.”  

He raised a suspicious eyebrow. “You have stage fright? That’s odd given the choice of your profession.”  

“What can I say? I’m a walking mystery.” You shrugged.  

“Or you’re lying,” he accused teasingly, patting the empty space next to him, waiting for you to sit down again.  

Reluctantly you did. “Me? Lying? Never!” You feigned shock. Rob handed you the guitar again, this time not waiting for you to decline his offer. He just placed it in your hands, putting your fingers where they belonged. His touch was gentle and his fingers were warm against your slightly colder skin. The sensation sent tingles down your spine.  

Having him so close was almost torture. You could smell the faint smell of his cologne, a scent that you immediately associated with him. He leaned in a little closer still, his hot minty breath fanning over your face. You bit down on your lower lip as a form of restraint. Everything it took was for you to lean forward just a little and your lips would touch. Everything could change in an instant and it took everything in you not to do it. What if it would backfire? What if things got weird? What if he didn’t feel the same way? No, you couldn’t risk it. The feeling of rejection would crush you more than this torturing feeling of constant longing. At least like that you were still able to have him this close. Once you’d get rejected that would be the end of it, you knew it.  

“So, give it a try now.” He was done placing your hands on the instrument and gave you an encouraging thumbs up, oblivious to your internal struggle.  

There was no fight left in you, so you pulled the strings and played whatever chord he’d arranged your fingers to.  

“Okay, and now move your index finger up,” he took your finger and showed you where to place it exactly. “Yeah, like that. Now go again and then put your finger where it was before.” You did as you were told and the sound filled the room. Well, you wouldn’t exactly call it music or any of the sorts. It sounded stiff and disjointed. Definitely nothing compared to what he had played before. At least, he wasn’t laughing.  

“Well, it’s not too bad now, is it?” He asked, a smile on his face as he rearranged your fingers again. You noticed that he sat closer to you than he had at the beginning of the evening. Your legs were touching now and even though you didn’t want to think anything of it like that your heart did a little flip in your chest, stomach filling with butterflies.  

Suddenly his hand froze in its position on top of yours. You looked up to give him a questioning look. As you did you were startled by how close his face was now, his eyes already on yours again. There was a burning sensation in them that you had never seen before, or noticed before anyway.  

Your lips parted, ready to ask him if there was a problem, but before you could even get one word out, your lips were engulfed by his. It took you longer than you’d liked to admit for your brain to process what was happening. When you finally came back to your senses you returned the kiss with just as much passion, the guitar long forgotten in your lap as you brought your hands up to his neck, tugging on his hair. Your heart was beating so violently against your chest, you feared it might jump out. The sensation of his lips finally on yours – something you’ve imagined more often than you’d liked to admit – was beyond anything you could’ve ever dreamed of. Warmth spread throughout your whole body, while at the same time shivers ran down your spine, covering your body in goosebumps. You could’ve stayed like that forever – his lips against yours, the world forgotten around you – but eventually he broke the kiss, all too soon in your opinion.  

“Well, that’s definitely something I don’t remember from my past guitar lessons,” you remarked with a timid smile.  

Rob laughed, his voice confident when he spoke again, “Care to practice some more?”  

Before you could give him his answer his lips were on yours again and you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face.  

You might just take him up on his offer after all.  

Requests are still open! Just send me an ask and let me know! 

[goldenchan-fx2thepeacock]

Quick AU where Danny stays in town during Girls Night Out

Yeah, random thoughts spring into brain. Danny is trans. I think that's enough background info. Also, Tumblr got a new post editor, so I'm betaing it right now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Danny was supposed to go fishing with his dad. But something came up. AKA, Vlad wanted him to go visit him without Danny. So Danny was in Amity Park when he was supposed to be having dad bonding time. What could he say? His dad got that dumb book and everything. It was gonna be epic. Except stupid Vlad had to go and ruin everything. Whatever. Dad said they would go next weekend.

The first big issue was when Tucker disappeared. And he didn't. Might've been a dumb ghost thing. So he and Sam went to find stuff out. Except all the men in town were gone. It was glaring. "I-I'm sure it's nothing Danny!" Sam said nervously. "Yeah. It's gotta have been a stupid mistake. Maybe I'm immune cause I'm half ghost," Except there weren't any male ghosts either. "Yeah, that's gotta be it!" That when they heard Ember. "OH YEAH! NO MORE PESKY GUYS! IT'S A GIRL'S NIGHT OUT!" "Yes. You know, I'm surprised that worked. I was afraid it might've been a ghost only thing," Spectra drawled. "Of course it worked. The superior gender always prevails," Kitty replied. "And that's obviously female," Every vein in his body was pounding. "I think you might've confused sex for gender ladies," Sam said patiently. "We're not having sex!" Ember laughed. "You do realize how invalidating this can feel for trans people?!" Sam shrieked back. "If they're still here, that means it's a she," Spectra grinned. That was the last straw. He ran. As fast as he could. And for a half ghost that was fast. Once he got home, he slammed the door.

Sam saw Danny run off and knew how this was looking for him. "Isn't this rich? The ghost boy is really a girl," Kitty grinned. "I'm surprised I didn't notice sooner," Spectra laughed. Ember stayed oddly quiet for someone who was normally boisterously loud.

Danny curled in on himself. Herself. NO! Don't second guess yourself. It change the fact that it hurt. "All the men in town are gone!" He heard Jazz yell. "I realize that Jazz. Thank goodness your father is out of town," Mom sighed. "Wait, but Danny isn't! I really hope..." She was standing in his doorway. "FUCKING GHOSTS!" Jazz didn't swear. She never swore. "What is it Jazz? Oh. Danny, I'm so sorry," Mom pulled him into a hug. "I'll be fine," He grumbled. "Do you know which ghosts?" Jazz decided to change the conversation. "Spectra, Kitty and Ember," "Great. Spectra is going to use this horribly," Jazz grumbled quiet enough that only Danny could hear. "Listen, we have to get the guys back first," "Wait, if you're, that means any trans women in Amity are stuck there," Mom said. "Can we not talk about that? I'm seriously not in the mood," "At least pesky Phantom won't be here to get in the way," Jazz and Danny exchanged a look. Sam came bursting in. "Danny! Okay, I am going to make them even deader than before," Sam cracked her knuckles. "I'm fine Sam. Let's just find a way to fix this," "I have an idea!" Jazz said. "No," Danny, Sam and Mom said in unison. "Oh come on. Don't be like that. Not all my plans are bad," Jazz protested. "Speaking from experience (of being trapped in a thermos way too much for one night), that is completely untrue," "What was that about thermoses Danny?" Mom said. "Jazz put soup in my Fenton Thermos!" "I couldn't tell them apart! We really need to label things," "Like with a massive sticker that say Fenton?" "All our stuff has those!" "Fair enough," Danny conceded. It was the plan if anyone caught them talking about getting trapped in thermoses. It made sense because it actually happened. "Well, since Jazz's plan is out, I opt that we figure out how this whole thing happened," Mom said. "It's a combo between Kitty and Ember. Kitty has this thing that makes men disappear into another dimension. And Ember must've used her guitar to make it cover all of Amity. If we don't get them out in twelve hours, they'll be stuck there forever," "And I will have to resign to a life of raging dysphoria," "You were gonna have that anyways," "Times ten. This won't help anyways, but it won't be all bad," "Let's stop talking about you being trans. Danny, you're staying here," Jazz winked. He knew what that meant. They would get all the men back and Danny would keep the ghosts at bay. "Okay. So, from what they were blabbing, all we have to do is get them to do it again," Sam said. Once they had a plan in place, all they had to do was implement it. They left and Danny quickly transformed. Praying that Spectra wouldn't find a way to use this against him, he sped off. "Hey! Poo faces! I'm not gone, and it semi pisses me off!" He screamed. "Oh now sweety. Why would you want to leave behind the superior gender?" Spectra said. "Because it makes me feel horrible and like I was born wrong," "You were, weren't you," Don't let Spectra sink her claws in Fenturd! "Yeah, maybe I was, but if I work hard enough I can fix it," "How is Danny Phantom still here?" He heard Paulina say. Nope, not listening. "They're all going to know. You can't do anything about that," Spectra laughed evilly. "Now girls, follow the recipe! You too now," "I'm. NOT A GIRL!" The wail was probably ill planned, but Danny wasn't thinking straight. Shit, humans. He cut himself off. "Oh come on now. No matter how many times you tell yourself that, you still have to cover parts of yourself. Don't tell me you don't wake up every morning and wish you were a real boy?" "I am. I am a real boy. I just have to take a few extra steps to get there," "Oh come on now. Stop lying to yourself. Maddie, how can you possibly call these eggs? They're green," Okay, maybe dealing with Spectra first was a bad idea. But she was also taunting his mom. Deal with Ember. She must be better than this.

So he flew to a stage. Ember was rocking out with a bunch of girls. Sam was in the background. This was probably one of the less dangerous problems. "Listen, if you're going to taunt me for the fact that I'm still here, do it already," "Hey, listen kid. I'm not actually going to taunt you. Kitty and Spectra are being complete jerks, but I'm not going to judge you for being trans," "Y-you're not?" "Heck no! I'm doing this because I wanted to have a fun night without guys. You included. I'll just have to take a few extra steps to get rid of you!" Danny dodged the guitar strum easily. "Are you planning on bringing them back at the end of the night?" "That's really up to Kitty," "I guess," Sam could deal with Ember.

Next up was Kitty. Oh great, makeup. (I honestly forget what Kitty was doing, so makeup works) "Now girls. All you gotta do is apply the bronzer like so!" "Kitty! How would Johnny feel if he knew you were doing this?" "Oh come on now Ghost girl, you can't be serious. Johnny is having a guys night in all due time," "HEY! Don't you dare. Transphobia doesn't help anyone," Jazz yelled. "Oh stop complaining. She knows she doesn't belong with the guys. From the looks of it, Spectra's already gotten to you. This'll make this so much easier,"

The plan backfired immensely. Danny and Mom were a mess, Sam didn't manage to get the guitar, and Jazz just got in a debate with Kitty. Danny, having to keep up a facade, came downstairs. "How'd it go?" "Terribly. Though, I did learn the Ghost Boy is trans," Mom said. "Fascinating," "It's, well it's oddly human. Why would a ghost even bother?" "Turns out gender dysphoria comes to the grave," "Danny, this is no time for one of your morbid jokes," Yeah, maybe it was morbid, but it wasn't a joke. "Whatever. I guess we get to use Jazz's plan," "All we gotta do is convince them that a cis guy is still in town. Like wandered in after the disappearing act," "Great plan. Sam can't pretend to be me though," "How did you know I was going to do that?" "Lucky guess,"

So that's how Jazz ended up wearing a baseball cap and a pair of men's jeans into Ember's concert. "Did we really have to use a pair of dad's jeans? These barely fit," "You know, the fact that they fit at all should be surprising. Dad was skinny at one point in his life. Which means that one of us could be on his end of the gene pool," "It's probably you," "Don't make me think about that. Hiding what little chest I have is hard enough. If I got dad's genes, I'd honestly be terrified," "We haven't seen the women on his side of the family. And besides, you got the blue eyes black hair thing," "You are honestly scaring me. Now, I gotta scram before someone sees me talking to you. Mom or the ghosts," "Fair,"

And thus, the plan worked. Kitty, adamant that no men be left in Amity, blew another kiss. Ember amplified it. The men came back. The three got thermosed. Jazz laughed at their faces when they honestly though she was from out of town. Danny once again didn't get taken, even in ghost form.

Tucker and Sam found him curled up in his bed. "Hey man. I know this has gotta be tough for you," Tucker said. "Spectra had no right!" Sam continued. "Thanks guys. But I think I'm gonna take a few days off school," The trio heard Dash's voice outside. "Hey mom. I know what happened was scary. And I know it must've felt really bad, but I still see you as my mom," "Thanks Dash. I can always count on you to make me feel better," A woman's voice rang out. Danny looked over the window sill. "See Danny. It's not horribly weird. Just a few transphobic ghosts," Tucker laughed. "A couple," "What?" Sam and Tucker said in unison. "Ember isn't," "How do you know that?" "I talked to her," "Hey Fenturd! Don't you dare tell anyone about my mom! And don't be mean to her! I'm sure you wouldn't get it," "You'd be surprised Dash!" He grabbed his trans flag and hung it out the window. "I get it more than you seem to think!" Dash's mom smiled at him. "Y-you're trans? I thought you were just a loser!" "Yeah, and I had to talk to the transphobic ghosts. So I won't invalidate your mom!" Dash stared up at him. "Holy shit,"

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Praying that this uploads, cause I've got shoddy internet rn. And I'm working on my Gravity Falls crossover fic. I just had this pop into my mind. Prolly just gonna be a oneshot. I might make another fic about Jack's side of the family later, that's connected to this one.

[dirtydancingdean]

something about how dean so completely parallels buffy summers from btvs like they are two iterations of the same character. i mean, buffy the vampire slayer is an undeniably a big influence on supernatural, even if the show itself wouldn’t exactly advertise that fact. you have sam’s sacrifice in swan song paralleling buffy’s sacrifice in the gift, the borrowing of a lot of demons and (god help me) lore, the weird amount of buffy actors in the show (sometimes playing vampires, which is hysterical), the campiness and horror. hell, even cas’s moment of pure happiness seems like a nod to angel’s moment of pure happiness. (dean and cas did it better though). but the biggest similarity is the way dean parallels buffy. he’s obviously not meant to. he’s supposed to be a gun-slinging, wise-cracking ladies man, but that’s not what he becomes. honestly that’s not even what he comes across as in the beginning. buffy and dean are both meant to be heroes, but buffy is the main character of her show, while that’s supposed to be sam in dean’s. and buffy and sam do share their similarities, particularly in their desire for normality which backfires on them because of their equally weighed desire to help people. but dean is so much more like buffy in so many ways?? like buffy, dean always feels everything is his responsibility (like he says in 7.05, “There’s always something eating at me. That’s who I am. something happens, I feel responsible, all right?”). this is largely in part thanks to j*hn winchester, while buffy’s sense of responsibility comes from the fact that a whole group of old white men have told her she’s the one girl in all the world who can fight evil. both of them kind of know on some level that this is kind of fucked up and even try attempting to fight back against their imposed duties occasionally. dean says it in 2.20: “Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?” which is buffy to a t! that's what buffy is all about! the loneliness and unfairness of having this burden on your shoulders! buffy says this in prophecy girl: “I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die.” but they both always, always go back to do their job. they both always sacrifice their own happiness for others. none of the writers would have intended to have dean make a speech that is entirely parallel to buffy summers’s prophecy girl speech, right down to both sarah michelle gellar and jackles’s tears. because ha ha, buffy is a girl hero, while dean is the embodiment of every male fantasy about what an action hero is.

the thing is, though, when you make dean every male fantasy in the world - attractive, good with women, tough, strong, likes rock music, hates chick flick moments, knows how to shoot a gun, looks good doing it, etc - you make him every male fantasy about women too. which is how we get those slow, full-body shots of dean that you normally only get with women, how we get dean being a caretaker, dean being a pacifier between sam and john, dean watching dirty dancing and liking taylor swift, dean always being the bait, dean’s interactions with villains being framed sexually, dean getting called pretty twice a season. we joke about dean being a hot action girl but he is often objectified in the particular way only women in media are. the way buffy is - in the show i think they actually did a pretty good job of not objectifying buffy. but there are times where they do, and it’s uncomfortable, and it’s subtle, the way it is on spn. and buffy and dean are both used to this kind of treatment; they often weaponize their sexuality, using it when they feel threatened. in the first episode of s2, buffy’s just suffered the enormous trauma of being resurrected after having been bitten by a vampire whose violence has sexual undertones. when she comes back to her friends, they talk about how closed off and mean she’s being, culminating in the scene where she goes to the bronze. if you haven't seen that scene then i dont know how to explain the way she absolutely uses her sexuality against xander and angel, just like dean uses his as a front to protect himself against everyone. when buffy’s traumatized she pushes herself away from those closest to her, represses her emotions, and uses fighting demons as a distraction. sound familiar? buffy and dean both make witty pop culture references that monsters don’t understand and self-deprecating jokes about themselves to deal with when they feel threatened and their low opinions of themselves. buffy has a lot of lines that sound just like dean’s! @lazarusr1sing mentioned buffy saying, “I may be dead, but I’m still pretty, which is more than I can say for you,” as a line that dean literally could have said and it’s true! they’re both a fan of quirky banter during fights but they’re both so messed up when it comes to their opinions of themselves. buffy in 7x07: “I have all this power. I didn't ask for it. I don't deserve it. It's like... I wanted to be punished. I wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. [...] I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. 'Cause even though they love me, it doesn't mean anything cause their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. [...] Sometimes I feel...this is awful. I feel like I'm better than them. Superior.” yeah, that’s...dean.

and they absolutely dive into self guilt and hatred if something goes wrong, even if it’s not necessarily their fault. faith in 3x15 says to buffy, “In the balance, nobody's gonna cry over some random bystander who got caught in the crossfire,” and buffy says, “I am.” the amount of trauma buffy and dean both go through kind of desensitizes them to this idea - dean especially, i think, though that’s mainly the fault of the sheer amount of writers and episodes supernatural has - but if they get someone killed, they will do absolutely anything to make up for it.

the idea of sympathetic monsters in buffy and supernatural is met with scorn a lot of the time by buffy and dean. for buffy this is a matter of mental self-preservation. her job is to kill demons, and if she lets herself think all demons can be good, then that means she might have been killing sentient beings that could have done good or weren’t doing harm, since she was a teenager. she can’t let herself think that way so she closes herself off to the possibility of demons being good a lot of the time. we talk about how supernatural majorly drops the ball when it comes to empathizing with the monsters (where’s that post, you know, the, “saving people, hunting things, white men with guns decide which is which,” post), but when it comes to dean, part of that is because, like buffy, he doesn’t want to face the idea that he’s been killing things that aren’t evil since he was a child. he’ll make exceptions (cas, crowley, benny, rowena), like buffy makes exceptions (angel, spike, clem, oz, anya), but it’s easier if it’s all black and white. they’re both strangely attracted to monsters too, though, because part of them feels like they are monsters themselves. like @s4castiel said they have romantic or romantically implied relationships with things they’re meant to fight - dean with benny, cas, and crowley + buffy with angel, spike, and faith. and monsters change themselves for buffy and dean’s sakes – cas, benny, crowley, angel, spike, all become better for the sake of buffy and dean! like that leviathan in 7.06 who says dean doesn’t have relationships he has applications for sainthood!

they hate the idea of being seen as just a killer (dean in 3.10, “Daddy knew what you were. Good soldier and nothing else,” and buffy in 5.22, “Guess that means a Slayer really is just a killer after all.”) dean says, “[A killer] is not who I am,” to chuck in 15.19, just like buffy says, “A slayer is not a killer,” through the later seasons. spike’s speech in 5.07 i think, really says it: “Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it, not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day, that final gasp, that look of peace.” their worst fear is that all they can do is hurt other people. they’ve been brought up to think violence is all they can do. but they both are first and foremost protectors, especially when it comes to sam and dawn, whose roles in both shows respectively is to be a reminder of dean and buffy’s humanity.

dawn, who first shows up in season 5 as buffy’s younger sister, is, represents buffy’s most beloved parts of herself, buffy’s humanity. sam is a lot like her in the respect that their destiny was to end the world; they’re both book-smart too, while buffy and dean act a lot like dumb blondes despite being incredibly intelligent in ways that aren’t clear to everyone. (not to go on a tangent but they’re both really good battle tacticians who make a lot of references to literature and tv shows and can perceive people and monsters’ weaknesses, etc.) dawn is dangerous to the world like sam is dangerous to the world in s2-s5, but buffy will not kill her like dean will not kill sam. you know how in the end 2009 dean realizes just how much 2014 dean has changed when he talks about killing sam as lucifer? sam is dean’s humanity like dawn is buffy’s humanity. they both put their siblings over everything else in the world. they sacrifice things that sam and dawn can’t begin to understand because dean and buffy shield them from it - dean in 2.22: “I had to take care of you. It’s my job,” and buffy in 6.14: “Dawn, the most important job that I have is looking out for you.” in s5 of buffy, if dawn lives, the world ends, and buffy doesn’t care because she can’t kill dawn. in 5.22 she says, “I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish that...I just wish my mom was here. [..] If Dawn dies, I’m done with it. I’m quitting,” paralleling dean quitting hunting after sam dies. they’re both insanely protective over dawn and sam - dean in 2.09: “You make a move on [Sam], you'll be dead before you hit the ground,” and buffy in 5.22: “I’ll kill anyone who comes near Dawn.” when sam dies in 2.22, dean doesn’t hesitate to offer up his soul in exchange for sam’s life; when dawn is about to die to save the world in 5.22, buffy doesn’t hesitate to die to save the world in dawn’s place. this all on top of the fact that sam and dawn are the babies, the ones dean and buffy have to take care of, which means that...no one is taking care of dean and buffy. like, dean in 3.10: “Sam, [John] doted on. Sam he loved,” and buffy’s mom in 5.05 hugging dawn and calling her “little punkin belly” and in response to buffy’s question of, “Did you ever have any names for me?” says, “No, I think you were always just Buffy.” when buffy’s mom gets sick in s5, buffy has to shoulder an incredible amount of responsibility - giving her mom her medicine, taking care of her, taking care of dawn, fighting a hellgod - and can’t break down in front of anyone because she has to be strong for dawn and her mom, the way dean has to be strong for sam and john (john in 2.01: “You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once.) they’re both so scared of opening up and being a burden - buffy’s nightmare hallucination of her deadbeat dad in 1.10 says the same kind of stuff about her being a burden and unwanted that zachariah’s projection of mary says in 5.16. it really is about the eldest sister complex in the end!!!

but they didn’t ever really mean to have dean be like buffy! buffy was literally meant to subvert traditional male action heroes. buffy summers is the male action hero, but she gets to have feelings and traditionally feminine traits too. she likes cheese and wearing pink and dressing up and having pretty hair, but she thinks about battle tactics and kills a vampire like every episode. dean? dean is meant to be the male action hero without the part about having feelings and traditionally feminine traits...except that backfires spectacularly. i mean, they give dean traits such as liking nightgowns to be like haha, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, isn’t that HILARIOUS. except it doesn’t come off that way, we know it doesn’t come off that way. so dean’s watched dead poets society and rent and he sings along to air supply and is good with kids and nerds out over cowboys, but he drives a classic muscle car and kills death and carries a gun with him everywhere he goes. dean and buffy both become multifaceted, complicated, human heroes – but it was intentional for buffy. it was unintentional for dean, so the narrative actively punishes him for it. i mean ymmv on how you feel about the ending of buffy, but she does get a satisfying happy ending. dean, on the other hand, is silenced and killed off and gets the worst possible ending for his character, all because they couldn’t control him.

[recurring-polynya]

Hi Polynya! I’m curious and in the spirit of Ginrei’s birthday, what do you think are his opinions of Rukia and Renji separately and together?

Ha ha, this is such a simple and straightforward question and my answer is going to be so long and so complicated and have almost nothing to do with Rukia and Renji because Ginrei's feelings toward Rukia and Renji have almost nothing to do with Rukia and Renji.

So, I want to start out by saying that Ginrei is a lot like Hisana in the sense that he's a canon character, we get the idea of him and what he's there for, but there's no actual characterization of him, which gives fanfic writers a tremendous amount of leeway to do whatever they want with him. I'm not going to try to justify anything I say here, it's just my ideas and how it goes in my fanfiction. I love it whenever a writer tries to take on the Kuchiki clan and I'm always interested to see what other people's takes are, even when they vary wildly from my own.

I love the fact that "Kuchiki" means "dead tree." We meet Rukia first, and it's sort of a delightfully spoopy name, very appropriate for this salty, overdramatic, grim reaper girl, but it takes on additional meaning when we meet Byakuya, the noble and powerful scion of a dying house.

The thing that makes Ginrei interesting as a character to me is that he is the one who ruled over his house as it fell. I tend to regard filler episodes as semi-canon, so I like the idea of Kouga, even if I don't want to acknowledge the rest of the Zanpakutou Rebellion shenanigans. I think that the main line of the Kuchiki was already running a little thin, Soujun's health was a big concern, and so they marry in this guy who is a scholar and a powerful shinigami. They never say what Kouga's previous social status was, but given that they emphasize what an accomplished dude he is, I think he was chosen for his skills, not his lineage, to strengthen the Kuchiki bloodline, except it backfires. Then Soujun dies, too, a few years later.

Ginrei strikes me as the type of leader who thinks he can control everything. He manages his clan with an iron fist. He is pragmatic, not sentimental. He’s not bad or mean, but he can see that he does not have a lot of room for missteps, and he takes his role very, very seriously. Despite this, he’s lost the generation under him, and all that he has left is Byakuya. There are cousins and branch families, but to the pride of the Kuchiki is its main line, descended from great generals and heroes and the very founders of Soul Society. Byakuya, in a lot of ways, hearkens back to the great Kuchiki of old, and Ginrei sees that he has the potential to reclaim the power and glory of his house. He’s hard on Byakuya and has high expectations for him. Ginrei loved his son and he loves his grandson, but after Soujun’s death, he often wonders if he was too soft on him because of his health, if Soujun would have lived if Ginrei had just expected more of him. Byakuya is the last hope of the Kuchiki and Ginrei knows he can achieve great things, and Ginrei is determined to do everything in his power to make sure Byakuya achieves his full potential.

And some ways, Byakuya is the perfect Kuchiki. He’s strong and he’s hard-working. He’s principled. He’s working on his self-control, and he’s very good at when it comes, to say, sword practice, he’s just not so good at in when it comes to interpersonal relations, but he’s coming along. Then he meets Hisana.

Hisana is absolutely unacceptable to Ginrei. Byakuya needs a marriage with a woman with strong spiritual pressure and a noble lineage so that he can gain some alliances from the marriage and then she can pop out some strapping young heirs while also managing his social life for him, just like Ginrei’s wife did for him. Hisana obviously isn’t going to check any of these boxes.

I headcanon Byakuya as demisexual, in the sense that he doesn’t experience sexual attraction very often, and if he does, it’s only to someone he’s already got strong feelings for. He was sort of okay with the vague idea of marrying someone for the purposes of procreating until he met Hisana and realized how much that would pale in comparison to actually being married to the love of his life.

Up until this point, Byakuya has had some minor rebellions against Ginrei, but they’ve never really gone at it, but this is one time that Byakuya stands firm. Ginrei is super-pissed. He lets Byakuya marry her because he figures she’s going to die soon anyway, but he’s mad about it. He never comes around to Hisana and he’s mean to her and this is really the nadir of Byakuya and Ginrei’s relationship.

Finally, we are getting around to what you asked. Hisana dies and Ginrei softens a little toward Byakuya in his grief. He retires and turns the clan and Squad 6 over to B, hoping it will be a distraction and that Byakuya will finally turn his focus over to what matters. This seems to be going well for about one year and then BAM! Byakuya acquires an orphan.

I am guessing that Ginrei didn’t know about Byakuya’s promise to Hisana to take care of Rukia, but even so, I think if you asked him, he would have regarded Byakuya’s duty to his clan and promise to his parents as more important. It’s not that Ginrei isn’t an honorable man, it’s that his concept of honor doesn’t necessarily extend to a dead peasant in comparison the Noble and Ancient House of Kuchiki. So Byakuya adopts Rukia and Ginrei’s immediate reaction is panic. What is Byakuya doing? Is he going to marry this girl? Is he going to name her his Heir? Has he cracked? And it turns out to be none of those things, he’s just going to keep her around as this sad ghost that haunts his house, but Ginrei’s initial reaction toward Rukia is that of interloper. He thought this Hisana nonsense was overwith, but no, we’re still doing this.

When Ginrei first meets Rukia, she is in her overwhelmed, lonely stage of first becoming a Kuchiki. Ginrei also criticizes her for being small and meek and basically useless. She’s a mediocre shinigami. She’s not beautiful or talented, so Byakuya can’t even marry her off for political gain. The real issue, though is that Rukia is just emblematic of the fact that Byakuya doesn’t intend to move past his grief and remarry. He works his ass off as Captain and Clan Head, but other than that, he’s just gonna be a sad widower and sit in his big house and write letters to his dead wife and the Kuchiki are going to die off. There is really nothing Rukia could do, no way she could be different that Ginrei would approve of, because it was never really about her in the first place.

Fast forward a few years, and now we come to Renji. I also headcanon that in his retirement, Ginrei has moved out to a scenic portion of Rukongai, so he doesn’t interact with Byakuya much on a day-to-day basis, but he hears stuff through other family members that come out to visit him. He’s never actually met Renji, all he knows is that Shirogane retired, and Byakuya hired some tattooed goon from Squad 11 instead of one of the dozens of Kuchiki cousins that are lying around. In my fanfic Call Me Back When the War is Over, Byakuya explains to one of his aunts that the reason he did this was because he didn’t have a relative who was capable of passing the Lieutenant’s Exam. She replies that he just should have pulled some strings so that someone (preferably her own son) could pass, assuming it’s a mere formality. Now this is exactly what Ginrei would have done. This is a problem, though: it involves choosing sides. I’ve got the top seats of Squad 6 set up as follows:

- 3rd Seat Ohno is the Heir to the most powerful Kuchiki branch family. His father is arguably the next in line for Clan Head, based on power terms - 4th Seat Kuchiki Choei is an actual Kuchiki, but he’s a younger son and he’s a clown, meaning that he got bored standing in line for Clan Head and wandered around the corner to vape - 5th Seat Kuchiki Takehiko is the actual closest of Byakuya’s relatives to him, and is arguably the next in line for Clan Head, strictly on family line terms

Pulling strings to help any of these three become the next lieutenant would be a very political move on B’s part, tantamount to anointing his successor. Ginrei assumes that B picked an outsider for the purposes of recusing, of saying “I shall simply refuse to die and remain Clan Head myself, forever’, with the addition fuck you of picking the Actual Worst Person Byakuya Could Find for the job, instead.

This really isn’t the case at all, it is literally that Byakuya feels that you shouldn’t be a lieutenant if you can’t pass the exam. He’s basically a rule-follower, and also it’s a good rule, and also his dad died as a lieutenant and I think he thinks a lot about how that could have been avoided through actions, whereas Ginrei tends to think of it more of a thing that could have been avoided if Soujun was better.

So, that gets us up to the beginning of canon. I am (in theory) working on a fanfic that takes place in the 17-mo timeskip where Ginrei comes to visit and actually gets to know Rukia and Renji and (spoiler alert, but is anyone really surprised) he ends up liking both of them a lot. Part of it is just Ginrei has chilled out somewhat in his retirement and realized that it’s okay to have parts of your life that are not completely devoted to the Good of the Clan. Part of it is that Ginrei loves Competence and Rukia and Renji are so, so competent. Part of it is that Byakuya is obviously doing a lot better than he was, and it’s just really obvious why. Like I said, Ginrei does and always has loved Byakuya, he just wants what’s best for him. It’s just that if there is one thing Kuchiki are terrible at, it’s expressing their love for one another in a positive and healthy way.

As to Ginrei’s feelings about Renruki as a ship, he’s for it, actually. Conniving family members have been trying to marry Rukia for years in hopes of getting an in with Byakuya, and I’m sure they’re setting their sights on Renji, now, too. Ginrei likes them well enough, but he can imagine what a shitshow this could turn out to be, and he finds it very convenient if they were to just marry each other.

I’m rather fond of the idea of Byakuya appointing them as a branch family to the Kuchiki, because I’m not super keen on them going full-Kuchiki if Renji married in, but I think Byakuya would be upset if Rukia married out and he wasn’t able to provide her with the lavish lifestyle he thinks she needs (she does not). It’s a nice compromise that lets them be a part of the family, but out of the limelight. In any case, I think that was Ginrei’s idea, thanks Granddad!

[veronicamarsconfessions]

Joel Silver, The Ruthless Producer (But He Wouldn’t Allow Logan To Be Killed)

This blog talks a lot about Joel Silver and his influence on pop culture (especially his role in Veronica Mars). He is well known as one of the “Bosses From Hell” in Hollywood and yet he is the lesser evil from other producers like Harvey Weinstein and Scott Rudin. Which is not a compliment whatsoever. But he is known as very protective with his assets such as his TV shows.

It is surprising that we hardly heard about sexual misconduct allegations against women/men (yet) especially during this decade alone. According to many, he is not interested that much in sexual hedonism as he is more concerned with being on top of the food chain. He is a married flamboyant producer who is deeply serious about his investments. He is always at the movie/tv set, watching everything like a hawk, making sure that everything is working accordingly. He dislikes unprofessional behavior from actors or showrunners, and most of the time, he just loathes writers. “Writers sometimes don’t know what works and what’s not. I don’t care if you are a brilliant writer, but I know better than anyone else in this business.”

That is the young Joel Silver, playing a frustrated director named Raoul in the movie 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit'. According to interviews, Raoul was based on himself but more tamer.

Joel Silver was a type of producer who likes to change a lot of the source materials, to the chagrin of the creators. Many just saw him as this tough guy producer who is very meticulous and wants the job done properly. Sources said that he liked to yell a lot, but hardly physical towards his employees (unlike Scott Rudin).

This is why it was so shocking that he and Rob Thomas had a fistfight argument at the Veronica Mars set. Rob must’ve pissed him off so bad that he resolved to a fistfight. According to a TVGuide interview, Rob said that Joel wanted to have Tara Reid as Trina Echolls and Paris Hilton to be put in the show as a guest star while promoting the House of Wax movie. Rob hated the idea and Joel didn’t take it lightly. Their brawl was reported to many blogs and forums back then.

Joel was frustrated and furious that Rob was adamant about his vision, citing that he knows more about what works and what’s not in the industry, and that includes casting and storylines. Rob insisted that Veronica should be with the love of her life, which was Duncan Kane. Both Joel and Rob head-butted about this because Joel knew that Logan was more a compatible and popular character than Duncan. Not liking the idea of being blackballed all the time, Rob wrote Logan as insufferable in season 2, hoping that fans would turn against the character.

The plan backfired as the fans at the time rejected Duncan instead. Diane Ruggiero even admitted that they were reading the feedbacks especially from Television Without Pity and she said that they didn’t have a choice but to get rid of Duncan. At the time, they also didn’t know whether the show was going to be renewed or not in season 3, especially during the merger between UPN and WB to form The CW. The fans’ voice was clear: they wanted LoVe (Logan & Veronica) to be together. This didn’t bode well with Rob, but the fans (and Joel) have spoken. He finally got rid of Duncan by sending him off to Australia with his baby. And that was it, the end. Logan and Veronica got back together.

But season three came, and another obstacle came in a form of Dawn Ostroff (the president of CW) who wanted some changes in the show for the network to be more teen-friendly. Gone the whole Noir and mystery style, they focused more on the white teen drama and a love triangle. At this moment, Joel decided to stay behind the scene. He was no longer hovering, he had other projects, other money to pursue. He still co-owned Veronica Mars. But he was no longer involved much.

When Veronica Mars was canceled, Joel immediately snatched Jason Dohring - he approached Jason "out of the blue” and said, “There's a role, and I'm making it younger". Joel offered the main role of the CBS vampire procedural series Twilight to Jason before it was changed into Moonlight. Jason read two pages of the script featuring Josef Kostan and was interested in the character's "dark" and "sharp" personality. Jason had to go through the normal audition process and was not sure he would have gotten the role without Joel Silver, who had "pushed it through to the end". Joel noticed very early that Jason had a main protagonist charisma so he fought for him to be cast as Josef Kostan. Jason’s performance was praised by many critics and fans alike as this sarcastic manipulative vampire. Unfortunately, the writing of the show was atrocious and the rating was abysmal because of the Writers Guild strike and they had to hire ghostwriters to keep going. After one season, Moonlight was canceled and it was another money down the drain for Joel.

When the idea of a movie was pitched, Joel said the movie would NEVER HAPPEN. “There are no fans for this market. Sales of DVDs and merchandise are nonexistent.” Joel was thinking as a producer; no sales for the merchandise = no fans, which is wrong, obviously. But that was the way many producers thinking at the time, and still are. After his company severing ties with the Warner Brothers, Joel was no longer interested in any mention of the Veronica Mars movie. Knowing that Joel would not approve of the Kickstarter, Rob and KBell decided to go straight to Warner Bros head honcho Kevin Tsujihara and asked for a chance to get a Veronica Mars movie funded by the fans. The movie then was made, and Joel was proven wrong for this particular moment.

Sharks however started to circling Veronica Mars movie - a lot of producers started to take an interest in the Kickstarter when they found out that it became successful and a phenomenon — notorious producer Harvey Weinstein wanted to grab the rights of Veronica Mars and he boasted that he could make it more successful under his Miramax banner. But his rival, Joel Silver, wouldn’t have any of it. Joel might not be responsible with the Kickstarter, but he sure the hell would burn a swimming pool first before Miramax steals VMars.

Rob and Joel have a “good work” relationship - they definitely aren't friends in real life, but most of the time they avoid each other except in public events and red carpets. Their relationship is mostly being tolerant of each other. Joel didn't even bother to come to the Veronica Mars movie red carpet even though he was the executive producer of the movie and this franchise was a part of his life. Many thoughts for him not attending the red carpet were to avoid any embarrassment because he said that there were no fans of Veronica Mars. If it was allowed, Rob would say ‘fuck you’ to Joel as he strutted on the red carpet during the premiere of the Veronica Mars movie at the Chinese Theater.

However, when HULU took an interest in a VMars miniseries, Rob asked Joel for a favor, which is to get Kristen Bell to work around NBC The Good Place contract. As HULU is a part of Viacom and also an umbrella company for CBS and CW where VMars reside, technically she couldn't and was not allowed to be working with a rival company. So Joel helped Rob by calling the NBC president Noah Oppenheim to lend Kristen Bell to HULU temporarily. No words or interview about how Joel thinks about season 4 and how they killed off Logan Echolls; a character he protected during his reign back then. It is obvious if he was in charge of Veronica Mars season 4, he would scold Rob Thomas for killing the Golden Goose or maybe already stopping him before it happened. He might have a soft spot for Jason Dohring himself, calling him a “talented actor but too quiet for this industry”.

Joel Silver seems to have moved on from Veronica Mars and its tumultuous relationship within. He has a bigger problem than handling a franchise that has crashed and burned because it flew too close to the sun; namely being sued for the death of an assistant and the fact that he was kicked out from his own company (Silver Pictures) by the company CFO Daryl Katz, and also he is a bit struggling with financial means. But no matter what, Joel Silver was a part of Veronica Mars with its complicated history. And he definitely has no problem keeping going - after all, he is one of the notorious bosses in Hollywood.

[pomegranates-and-blood]

Headcannon: Shieldmaiden friend with his brothers

My Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Summary: “I was hoping I could request a headcanon of Ivar being nervous around a new shieldmaiden that is friends with his brothers? He finds her attractive, but that makes him nervous bc of his legs and what ppl have said all his life.”

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: My horrible attempts at whatever the fuck this ended up being, nothing else I can think of.

A/N: So yeah, I made a thing. Am I happy with the thing? Nope. Am I proud of the thing? Nopity nope. Am I gonna post it anyways and hope you guys don’t hate it? Yep.

But yeah, first time writing headcanons, first time diving head first into season 4 Ivar. I sincerely hope you like it, and idk, would love to hear your thoughts, good or bad, on this one. Thank you!

Taglist: @1950schick​​

·         You were one of the shieldmaidens to accompany Björn to the Mediterranean, and you grew close to both him and Hvitserk on the journey.

·         You joined the Great Heathen Army alongside your brother, and everyone was surprised to see Björn sprint towards you as soon as he saw your ship, lifting you off the ground in a tight embrace.

·         Although Sigurd isn’t too thrilled or interested in you, both Ubbe and Ivar are immediately drawn to you.

·         The former, because there’s rumors about how you once bested Björn when sparring with those curved swords.

·         The latter, for completely different reasons. Though, you being a great warrior does help.

·         With you being close to his brothers Ivar finds himself knowing more and more about you with every passing day, and in the midst of the war to avenge his father, with his heart heavy with pain and loss, he finds you, with your easy smiles and your friendly nature, a welcome distraction.

·         That’s what he calls it, at first. When he spends each chance he has watching you from afar, witnessing your interactions with the group of shieldmaidens you call sisters in arms; when he finds himself thinking of you late at night and early in the morning; when he realizes he misses you when you’re gone, even though he tells himself he has nothing to miss.

·         The realization that he actually feels something for you dawns on him when he sees some Dane warrior dancing with you on a feast after Aelle is conquered, and the urge to stake his claim, to go there and interrupt whatever it is that is happening before his eyes, fills him, makes an impulsive hand reach for the axe at his side.

·         Ivar is…well, Ivar, so there’s no way he’d willingly let you -or anyone else, for that matter- know that he’s interested in you.

·         Which he is. Very much so. Because, much to his growing frustration -in more ways than one- he can’t get you out of his head.

·         Still, that doesn’t mean he’d willingly disclose it. He isn’t subtle, though.

·         But people notice. His brothers notice.

·         Björn isn’t thrilled with it, but considering Aslaug isn’t alive to bend to Ivar’s will and have some poor girl forced into marriage with the youngest son of Ragnar, he isn’t too concerned. If something happens, it is because you choose it so, and that’s enough for him.

·         Ubbe bristles up. He knows bits and pieces of what happened with Margrethe, but he has been witness too many times of how Sigurd uses what happened with her against Ivar- something he swears one day will end in tragedy, thankfully nothing too difficult to contain or heal so far-; and he still feels responsible about setting up the whole thing. The last thing he wants is for it to happen again, with someone that is quickly becoming a close friend of him and his brothers.

·         And of course, Sigurd notices, and is cruelly delighted in it. He does try a couple of times teasing Ivar about it when you’re near, but you never stood for those kinds of games, so he was eventually discouraged from continuing.

·         Doesn’t stop him from privately tormenting Ivar about it. It is his duty as older brother after all, and since Ubbe is too busy mothering Ivar, and Hvitserk too busy trying to fuck his way through England, it falls unto him. He may go too far once or twice, but their relationship has always been that way.

·         Sigurd’s teasing only manages to put Ivar more and more on edge about these stupid -pathetic, useless, soft- feelings, and the few times you try getting close to him, he usually snaps at you or reacts badly.

·         Because you are very interested, even if you are much better at hiding it. Ivar proves to be incredibly smart, and with the march of the Great Heathen Army being the first time you’ve travelled this far from home, fought in so many important battles, you find yourself fascinated by him and the way he seems to understand what goes beyond fighting, what becomes war.

·         But, when you are try getting close to him with subtle flirting or soft touches, Ivar thinks you are pitying him or mocking him, and when you are more direct and try finding common ground to get to know each other, he thinks you’re pushing him away.

·         It confuses you, and frankly, it confuses him too.

·         It confuses everyone that has become an unwilling spectator to all of this.

·         Ivar does try his best at being nice to you, it just manages to backfire most of the time.

·         You could be sharing a meal with him and his brothers, and he’d try complimenting you, saying something about how you have proven to be a fine shieldmaiden. But feeling too many eyes on him, feeling like he left himself open for ridicule or rejection, he’d add something else, like how you are obviously aided by the fact you use weapons not familiar to Vikings.

·         He’d fuck most things up, is what I mean.

·         And he’d know -and you’d make it very much clear- that he has upset you, or made you angry.

·         He would try apologizing, but it is Ivar, so “I’m sorry” won’t leave his lips unless someone pries it off him, so, he’d try…alternative approaches.

·         First, gifts. Women like those, right? He’d try buying the prettiest, most expensive thing he can find, and leaving it for you to find. Or, if he is in a particularly good day -if he managed to get one up on Sigurd, maybe, that’d be a good day- he’d give it to you in person.

·         Throwing expensive things at you wouldn’t exactly work, making you feel inadequate and cheap. He notices, so he’d try something else.

·         He wants you closer, so he makes it so that you always sit with him and his brothers at the table where the leaders of the army dine.

·         Before long many men -including Harald, to whom Ivar notices you giving easier smiles than the rest, much to his horror- manage to sleaze their way to the chair at your other side, chatting with you during the nights, making you smile and laugh.

·         When word of how one of them tried talking your brother into a marriage arrangement reaches Ivar, he pulls back on his idea of having you sit with him.

·         To you, it just looks like a rejection, and Ivar notices you grow colder, more distant.

·         With the threat of how desired you have proven yourself to be, a beautiful woman and a fierce shieldmaiden, hanging over his head, Ivar grows more and more restless, and resolute he has to prove to you he can offer you much more than any of these men can.

·         He tries everything he can think of. Make it so that you are there when he beats his brothers in target practice, boast about how his strategy was what won them many a battle against the Saxons, repeat the tales about how he and his brothers are descended from the Gods themselves.

·         When Ivar makes the contraptions for his legs, he goes to find you with -barely contained, he shouldn’t even bother trying to hide it really- enthusiasm, trying to show off in front of you.

·         He ties a lot of his self-worth into how people perceive him, into how much of a ‘normal man’ he can pass off as, and as we know he stands a lot prouder and a lot more confident once he gains more control of the Great Army and manages to make those things.

·         When you see him, though, even though he is preening and standing tall, chin high and shoulders squared; all you do is look at the contraptions around his legs and back into his eyes.

·         “You’re a better fighter without those.” You’d say, and nothing else.

·         Ivar would sulk. There’s no way to impress you, nothing he can do to make you look at him with that mischievous streak you share with Hvitserk, or that companiable closeness you have with Björn.

·         Anger would quickly enough win over any impulse to sulk and feel sorry for himself, though.

·         He’d eventually grow colder, crueler, towards you. He’d feel like you rejected him, and being angry towards you -and in return making you be angry towards him- gives him someone to blame, gives him some way of letting the pain have form, have a target for all the mess of emotions it leaves inside him.

·         When Björn starts making plans to return to the Mediterranean, he fully expects to see you depart following his brother and never seeing you again.

·         He hates himself for grieving the loss of you, someone he never had, someone that -as far as he knows- never cared about him anyways.

·         But he does. The day when Björn and those who choose to come with him will depart East approaches, and Ivar is more on edge than ever.

·         Restless, angry, and with no one to blame but himself. But, of course, he won’t do that, no.

·         He taunts you, makes jabs at you and how you run after Björn like an enamored thrall, points out you choose to sail a ship like a coward instead of staying here -staying with him- and fighting the Saxons.

·         When you snap back, voice loud and eyes furious, that you were never planning on sailing back with Björn, you manage for once to stun Ivar into silence.

·         You don’t even give him time to hold on to cruelty, to the pain and anger he uses as both a weapon and a shield. You stand up from the table and leave the hall.

·         Hvitserk doesn’t lift his head from his food, but still grumbles that he should go after her. At Ivar’s affronted frown, Ubbe insists that he should, offering his little brother a sly smile and something about going to find his woman.

·         Ivar would deny to his very grave and beyond it that his ears turned red at the implication behind Ubbe’s words.

·         But he did, trying to dispel thoughts that told him how he was running after you like a lovesick puppy.

·         When he finds you, you are still angry, because of course you are. And your anger is to Ivar like an electric shock over an exposed nerve, drawing out all the vitriol and fury and explosiveness.

·         Before long he has managed to make you angrier than he has ever seen you, and your voices rise with your tempers.

·         A second time you manage to stun Ivar into silence comes shortly after the argument between the two erupts.

·         He doesn’t even remember what he was about to say, only that with a few words about how you chose to stay with the Great Army for him makes all the thoughts on his head disappear.

·         Before he can twist himself into knots about it, thinking how it must surely be a lie, how you are playing some cruel trick on him; you lean in and kiss him.

·         Ivar doesn’t know how to react, not at first. The only woman he has kissed before was a slave his brother instructed to sleep with him, and he refuses to think of that night, of that woman.

·         He stays frozen under your touch, until you pull back, and smile.

·         He realizes when lack of air makes your kiss end that in your eyes you don’t have that glint of playfulness you share with Hvitserk, or that comfortable understanding you have with Björn; but something more tender, more real, and definitely hungrier.

____

So yeah, that’s that. I have never written headcanons before, and I struggle a lot with season 4 Ivar (who am I kidding, I struggle with writing Ivar in general) even tho he is my favorite Ivar. Idk, I gave it my best, hopefully I can learn from this and get better at it lol

Thank you so much for reading, lovelies!! <3

[jungshookz]

OMG UNI YOONGI TALKING TO LISA TO MAKE OC JEALOUS BUT Y/N GETS A LIDDOL UPSET BC LISA'S SO PRETTY AND SO PLAN BACKFIRES AND YOONGI IS LIKE OHNO

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; uni!yoongiverse!!!!! if u want to read something that’ll make your heart happy then you just struck gold

➺ wordcount: 6.4k

➺ summary; yoongi’s plan to make you jealous doesn’t go exactly as he’d expected.

➺ what to expect; “i’m y/n y/l/n, my student ID is 10120200, and today i will be discussing the neurobiology behind the complicated mask of romantic attraction.”

➺ optional reading: not necessary but feel free to read some other drabbles from the uni!yoongiverse!

➺ note; okay so thiS was originally how y/n and yoongi got together in the first place but before i had a chance to finish it i ended up writing that christmas mistletoe drabble instead!!! but i still wanted to share this version with u guys :-) also i am the worst at finding the source for gifs but i found it off here!! and the info used in this drabble is from this website!! ok i’m shutting up now happy reading!!!

                                    »»————-　♡　————-««

yoongi is not used to this

and by this he means you

and by you he means he doesn’t understand why you don’t seem to be as into him as much as he’s into you and it’s weird because (not to toot his own horn or anything) he thinks he’s preTTy good at wrapping people around his dainty pinky finger and it just doesn’t seem to be working with you!!

did that sentence even make any sense??

does anything even make any sense anymore????

“-i guess, to answer your question, i don’t really know what to do which is weird because i’m usually pretty confident with everything that i do. you know?” yoongi sighs and shakes his head

the cashier blinks owlishly at him

all she asked him was ‘how are you doing today?’

“so… are you going to order anything or…?

yoongi clears his throat before turning to glance at the very long line of impatient university students wanting their daily fix of caffeine

see????

look what you’ve doNE TO HIM

you’ve broken him and he doesn’t know how to fix himself!!

“…one medium iced vanilla cold brew, please.”

yoongi stares blankly into space as he slurps up the remainder of his coffee

he shakes the cup around a little and the ice rattles inside

“good morning!”

yoongi looks up and nods in acknowledgement as lisa plops down next to him

anyone who’s said that you can’t be friends with your ex obviously didn’t have a meaningful relationship with them

because yoongi and lisa are doing just fine!

they take a history course together

he didn’t actually knoW they were in the same class until he was (very) late to class one day and the only seat left was next to her and he thought that if he didn’t sit next to her the next class that that would open up a whole can of worms that he definitely did noT want to open up (“how come you’re not sitting with me anymore? is it because we used to have sex and now you can’t look me in the eye without thinking about how you broke up with me and your reason was ‘i don’t know, i just feel like we’re… not a great couple’?”)

but the point is  

they get along great!

they don’t hang out outside of class but they get along inside of class which is what matters

“shit, did you happen to get the notes from the last slide? i missed some of the last bullet points-“ lisa grabs yoongi’s notebook and huffs when she sees that all he has on this page are some half-assed notes and a lot of doodles “you are of no use to me.”

“it’s all part of my charm, baby.” yoongi sighs and leans back against the squeaky seat

“i have no idea what i saw in you in the first place.” lisa mumbles to herself as returns her attention to the screen

“oh, babe… you’re making me blush!” yoongi coos before giving her a little punch on the shoulder

“you’re making me want to jump off a cliff- and don’t touCH me-“

and all of a sudden

it hits him

he knows what to do to get you to talk to him!!

he’s spent the last forty minutes of class thinking about your cuTe face and how he’s going to get closer to you but something about what lisa said just inspired him

actually it had nothing to do with what lisa said

it had more to do with her presence and her subtle reminder that they used to date

he needs a catalyst of some kind

he needs to.,.,., to catalyse yoU!

(he learned that word from chemistry but he’s not sure if he’s using it correctly he’ll have to fact-check that with u)

yoongi nudges lisa’s side and she scowls before nudging him back harder

“oW- cut it out-“ yoongi grumbles and swats at her hand

“you started it-“

“will you just shut up-“

“yoU shut up-“

“i need your help with something.” yoongi hisses as he begins to scribble the plan down on his notebook so that lisa can read it instead of him having to whisper it to her in its entirety

he’s not very useful to her but she’s about to be very useful to him

he now knows exactly what to do

>:-)

“if you keep bouncing your leg like that i won’t hesitate to slice it off with this flimsy wooden pathetic excuse of a knife.” jimin leans over to poke the tip of the dull knife into your forearm and you huff before whacking his hand away

“i can’t help it, you knoW i get jumpy when i’m nervous.”

god

you feel itchy

is it hot in here??

or is it just you??

hopefully your armpits aren’t sweaty

nothing kills the mood more than swampy pits

am i right ladies

“y/n, you know he likes you back-“

“no, actually, i don’t know that.” you shake your head before leaning over to peek at the entrance of the cafeteria doors again “he’s never explicitly stated that he likes me back so i can’t just go around-“

“he doesn’t need to tell you! he- he literally spooned you in the middle of class aND he made me give up being your partner for the presentation so that he could be your partner instead.” jimin raises a brow when you look back at him

“…and your point is?”

he groans quietly and rolls his eyes

how can someone so smart be so stupid at the same time

here’s what’s happening

you think you’re finally going to do something about your feelings for yoongi (gross)

and the thing is, you actually weren’t planning on doing anything today because you like to plan things out in advance but somehoW jimin convinced you that this would be a good idea

anyways

you’re going to ask yoongi if he’d like to join you (and jimin) for lunch!

it’s not a big step but at least it’s somEthing

and it’s not like asking him to sit with you at lunch is you professing your undying love for him

it’s just lunch!

maybe if you’re lucky, when he sits down next to you, you can scooch in closer so that the side of your leg is touching the side of his leg

and if you’re extra lucky, maybe he won’t move away from you when you do that

:’)

you perk up when you see yoongi step into the cafeteria and your heart skips a beat when the two of you make eye contact for a brief second before he’s looking away and joining the line

alrighty

that’s your cue!

“alright-“ you slide out of the booth and wipe your clammy hands on the back of your jeans “wish me luck!”

jimin shoots you a thumbs up before reaching over to steal one of the watermelon cubes out of your fruit cup

okay

this’ll be fine

you’ll be greAt

all you have to do is ask yoongi if he wants to come and sit with you

…but you can’t just ask him without saying hi

so say hi first

you know what

you should’ve practiced this in your head before getting up and leaving the safety of the table

but now it’s too late to turn back because you’re already halfway to yoongi and you can’t just tuRn back because you know he saw you and he’s going to think it’s weird if you stopped and whipped around halfway through your somewhat confident stride towards him

damnit

daMNIT

okAY what are you going to say??

hi yoongi… how are you?

nO no that’s oddly polite

hi yoongi… what are you going to order?

nope not that either

hi yoongi… chemistry, am i right? how are your slides for the presentation coming along? i noticed some of your facts were a bit broad so i made some comments on the side to help-

??? hoW do you steer the conversation from there?? NERD

hi yoongi… what’s up with the meatloaf here?? what’s in this mystery meat?? i guess that’s why they call it a mystery! hAh

…ok that one was just weird

and just as you’re a couple feet away from yoongi, that’s when you notice that he’s not alone

nope

because he’s engaging in what looks like vEry friendly conversation with another girl

“yoongi, cut it out, you dweeb!” she giggles before giving his arm a gentle slap (her hand lingers on his arm for a good three!!! seconds) and yoongi raises his hands in defence

???????

who is this stranger??

who is this stranger and why is she touching yoongi like she’s noT a stranger???

and why isn’t yoongi acting like she’s a stranger???

“what?? i’m just saying!!”

he turns his head slightly and the two of you make eye contact yet agaIn

your eyes widen in panic

oh god

well now you definitely can’t ask him to sit with you at lunch

not when he’s talking to a literal godDESS

god!!! look at her!!!!

her hair is so long and silky and she has that whole ‘is she sexy or is she cute’ vibe going on and woW that eyeliner is impeccable

you look like you have raccoon eyes compared to her eye makeup

…you look like a raccoon compared to her

he’s obviously going to sit with her!!!!!!!

mission abort

MISSION ABORT

you immediately swerve and head towards the vending machine

okay

that didn’t go toO badly right

was your swerve smooth?

hopefully it seemed like it was a natural movement to suddenly make a JAGGED turn to the right

you know what

this is a sign

you and yoongi are not supposed to be a thing and that was a sign directly from God himself

you feel your face heating up a little when another realisation hits you

you thought yoongi liked you back and it seems that he doesn’t… and even if he did like you back, you waited too long to do something about it and he’s obviously moved on  

suRe, you’ve been going around saying that you’re pretty sure yoongi doesn’t like you back and it’s not a big deal because it’s expected, why would he like me? but you only kept saying that because you wanted it to be wrong

you wanted yoongi to prove you wrong

and he moved on because you were taking too frickin long to decide what you wanted to do with him

…and you didn’t even bring any change with you so you can’t even get a bag of chips to make you feel beTTER

“i… i’m sorry, but what the hell was that?” jimin snorts as soon as you take a seat at the table and you clear your throat before shrugging

“an effort was made… and… the result came out inconclusive! so… it’s whatever.”

jimin leans over to the side a little to peek past you at yoongi who just wrapped an arm around whatever-her-name-is’ shoulders

and then he notices yoongi glancing back a little in your direction

hm

…fascinating.

“y/n…” jimin sighs as he sets his fork down, “yoongi likes you. you know he does. everyone knows he does! you’d have to be blind to noT see how into each other you two are.”

“you’re just saying that because you’re my friend.” you sulk as you slump against your arm

“i’m saying that because it’s true, you idiot.” jimin frowns and reaches over to give the top of your head a pat, “use that big brain of yours and think about it!”

okay fine

you’ll use your stupid big brain to think about stupid yoongi and your stupid crush on him

the other week in class you were pretty bummed out because you had forgotten to bring your snack with you and you were looking forward to it all day (you slathered some strawberry jam on some crackers and made little sandwiches) and after you briefly mentioned it to yoongi (after he asked u ‘what’s a saD girl like u doing in a sad place like this’) he went quiet for a second or two before picking up his backpack and leavinG the lab

and you were very confused because class was literally starting and he just walked out like it was no big deal

you were about to get up and chase after him to bring him back but once the professor started the lecture you were pretty much bolted down to your stool

when he came back ten minutes later (thankfully the professor was playing a video for the class so yoongi was able to sneak in without being noticed) you were very surprised when he plopped a crumpled up wad of napkins(??) in front of you

“thank you for the… garbage?” you whisper as you use the back of your pencil to poke at it

“open it up.” yoongi points to the top of it and- oH okay it’s like a little parcel of some kind

it just looked like garbage to you

you reach over to unwrap the parcel and your brows knit together when you-

oOh!!!!! oh!!!!!! crackers!!!! cracker sandwiches with strawberry jam oozing out the sides!!!!!!

“have i ever told you about how much the lunch ladies love me?” yoongi grins and wiggles his eyebrows before pushing the crackers closer to you “bon appétit, m’lady.”

you perk up a little and jimin looks over at you in interest

wait a second

if yoongi didn’t like you back then he probably wouldn’t have gone out of his way just to get you a couple crackers and jam

what else has he done?

in class he always leans over to doodle on your notebook and even when you tell him to cut it out he never does

but is that flirting?

how about when he compliments your scrunchies or your socks or little things like that?

is that flirting or is that just him being nice???

okay

what about this one

how about when he walks you to class and insists you give him a kiss on the cheek as payment?

you immediately shoot straight up from the table and jimin jumps in surprise

jesus chriSt

he didn’t sign up to sit with a jack-in-the-box today

“yoongi likes me!” you gasp and jimin resists the urge to roll his eyes

“look who finally came to their senses-“

yoongi likes you!!

a lot

like a LOT

and you like yoongi a lot too!!!!

so you have no idea why you’re acting the way that you are

part of it is because he’s being kind of flirty with someone else but the other part of it is…

it’s just that you have no idea why every time he brings up the question of ‘so… what are we?’ you immediately panic and sputter out some lame excuse about how you have some work to catch up on but i’ll catch you later!!

oh god

the smile drops from your face

do you have commitment issues??? is that it??

“is it working? do you think it’s working?” yoongi forces a smile on his face to make it seem like he’s still very interested in what lisa is saying and she peeks over his shoulder before shaking her head

“i think your plan was a failure from the start anD i think we should’ve gone with my plan if you really wanted to make her jealous-“

“i’m not gonna make out with you in front of y/n-“

“well, she’s not even paying attention to us anymore. her back’s facing us.”

yoongi whips around so fast that he nearly gives himself whiplash and his shoulders droop when he realises that lisa’s right

damnit

he really thought his plan was going to work!! he thought it was foolproof!!!

obviously not because here he is

looking like a grade A foOL

“you sure you’re okay?” jimin nudges your arm as the two of you throw out your scraps and wrappers

after your whole ‘yoongi likes me!!!’ moment, you were pretty happy for like 3 seconds and then you started spiralling into a whole self-pity ‘i might have commitment issues’ thing which eventually led you back to ‘yoongi could never like someone like me… no wonder he’s off eating lunch with someone else…’ and jimin was fully ready to rip his hair out

one step forward and a miLLion steps back

anyways

you were pretty quiet for the remainder of lunch which wasn’t a huge surprise because you dO have the tendency to get a little mopey when things don’t go your way (but in your defense, who wouldn’t get mopey??)

like one time when you were assigned the topic of comparing and contrasting influential leaders during the WWI era for a history essay when you were really hoping to be assigned the topic of the impact of propaganda

you were so bummed out that you basically just leaned on jimin for the entire period of lunch without saying anything

and now it looks like it’s happening again!!!

you know what

no

you can’t go in circles like this for the rest of your life

this time you’re not just being mopey and pitying yourself

this time you think you’re actually going to do something about the issue (juSt like how you should’ve gone to your prof to fight for that propaganda essay)

you feel ridiculous!!

you can’t go on beating yourself up over something that you can kiNd of control!!!

you know that you wanna be with yoongi officially

you know that there’s a mutual attraction between the two of you

and most importantly you want to be able to call him your boyfriend and not just a classmate that you sometimes flirt with and all-the-times fantasise about holding hands with

you’re finally ready to sit him down and tell him you definitely like him and that you definitely want to be with him and you are noT about to let him slip away this easily!!

seeing him with someone else lit a fire under your ass

…and you know exactly how you’re going to handle this.

to say the least

yoongi is.,,.,..,

concerned

very, very concerned

he hasn’t spoken to you in like three days and he’s pretty sure you’re avoiding him

and he knows this because the other day after you came out of class and saw him standing there waiting for you (like he usually does) you immediately diverted your gaze and attempted to hide behind a bunch of people before disappearing down the opposite end of the hallway

and then when he walked into class to go and sit next to you like he always does he was very surprised to see that jimin had reclaimed his spot next to you

…and if those aren’t signs of you avoiding him/being upset with him he doesn’t know what is!!

if anything he thought the whole lisa plan was going to get you all riled up and jealous which was something that he will openly admit to vEry much wanting to see because let’s be real seeing someone get jealous is always a little hot

but instead it seemed to have upset you and possibly hurt your feelings which was the complete opposite of what yoongi wanted and now he doesn’t know what to DO

usually he’s the one that does the avoiding! whenever he gets into little riffs with girls (most of the time they’re upset about him not texting and/or calling back which he admits is his fault and he could’ve handled those situations more maturely but that’s not the point) all he has to do is like smile at them in class and they immediately forgive him because he has a greAt smile

also usually it’s other people who are trying to make him jealous!!! so it’s pretty weird that hE was the one trying to make someone jealous!!!

he doesn’t like the taste of his own medicine

it’s bitter and he can’t get it out of his mouth

he-

yoongi jumps when his phone buzzes in his back pocket

from: nerdzilla [1:58pm] - Yoongi, can you come to lecture hall A in the maple building right now?

huh

okay

it looks like you’re no longer avoiding him which he supposes is a good sign

…but nothing good can ever happen in a lecture hall

“there you are! i was worried you got lost.” you smile lightly as yoongi steps into the lecture hall looking very out of place

“what’s… uh, what’s going on?” yoongi raises a brow as he makes his way down the steps

“take a seat and it’ll all make sense soon.” you gesture for him to sit near the front before turning to make sure everything’s hooked up and ready to go

yoongi lets out a sigh as he plops down in one of the seats

a moment of silence goes by before he decides that he should probably be the first one to speak up and at least trY to smooth things over

but before he even opens his mouth you’ve already dimmed the lights in the auditorium anD attached a mini microphone to your sweater

you clear your throat before stepping forward a little bit

“i’m y/n y/l/n, my student number is 10120200, and today i will be discussing the neurobiology behind the complicated mask of romantic attraction.” you swallow your nerves after introducing the presentation before clicking to the next slide

what in the world

what is happening

yoongi looks around at the empty auditorium before looking back at you

he still doesn’t know if you’re mad or upset or mupset and if this is just how you process your emotions but maybe he’ll just sit back and relax for now

“now, in order to understand brain chemistry, we need to understand the different chemicals that are involved in the process of romantic attraction. there are four hormones that are important when it comes to understanding love - cortisol, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. we’ve actually discussed these hormones in class, so if i, say, asked you what cortisol is, you would say…” you trail off and turn to face yoongi and he immediately straightens up

uh

he didn’t think he’d be teSted during whatever the hell this is but okay

you reviewed all of these terms with him for the last quiz so you’d be more than disappointed if he’d already forgotten about them

“if you asked me what cortisol was, i would say…” yoongi narrows his eyes slightly before pursing his lips

why is he sweating all of a sudden

he’s nervous

why does he feel like he’s in cLASS

this ain’t right!!! this was a trick!!!!

“cortisol.” yoongi mumbles as his fingers drum anxiously against his kneecap, “court-isol… courting a mate… courting someone can be stressful- ooh, cortisol is the steroid that is released when we’re stressed!” yoongi claps his hands together and grins widely when you nod proudly before turning back to look at the slide

hAH

he’s still got it

“so, in short - cortisol is a stress hormone, dopamine seeks out pleasure, norepinephrine makes you highly excitable, and serotonin is a mood stabiliser. when you’ve got a crush on someone, your serotonin drops as your cortisol levels increase, which then makes your brain pump out dopamine, which produces norepinephrine.” you turn to look at yoongi to make sure he’s still paying attention and he now looks moRe lost than he was before “do you get it?”

“i… can you repeat that? but in a completely different way? and with different words? significantly easier, simpler words?”

“i mean… i thought i’d already explained it in pretty simple terms-“

“in whAT universe was that simple???”

“okay, what about this- basically, when you’re in the process of falling for someone, all of the hormones that make you anxious and energetic are super duper high while the one that keeps you stable is super duper low.”  

“thank you. you should know by now that you have to explain things to me like that.” yoongi snorts before leaning back against the chair and kicking his legs back up and flicking his wrist “alright, you have my permission to carry on.”

you roll your eyes playfully before turning back to face the screen  

“there are approximately twenty commonly-reported thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that are associated with falling in love, but in the interest of time, i’m just going to be covering three.”

yoongi (bless his heart) is still trying to figure out what the point of all of this is but is struggling a little because he’s also trying to focus on this presentation of your at the same time

meanwhile, you’re pretty close to pissing yourself on stage because you’ve never confessed your feelings for anyone before and you hate that you can’t decipher the meaning behind yoongi’s poker face

is he playing along??? is he just letting you go through with this presentation even though he already knows what you’re hinting at???

or is he actually confused and has nO idea what he’s doing here??? does he think you’re wasting his precious time????

“number one: intrusive thinking.” you interrupt your internal ramble as you switch to the next slide, “when we’re in the process of falling for someone, our levels of serotonin drop significantly.” you pause and whip around to face yoongi, "remind me again what serotonin is?”  

yoongi’s eyes widen slightly

uh-oh

he’s being put on the spot agaIN??

god

is it too late to drop out of this class?????

“uh… can i get a pass on this one?”

you frown

u literally just said what serotonin was like three seconds ago

he’s so bad at listening!!!! no wonder he needs your help all the time!!!

“serotonin is a mood stabilizer, so it makes you feel…“

“calm!!! and in control!!! and- and stabilized!!” yoongi spRings up from his seat with a raised hand before bouncing up and down

“there we go.” you smile lightly when yoongi gives himself a pat on the back

he’s so cute when he’s proud of himself :-(

“anyways - serotonin stops the triggering of obsessive-compulsive behaviour. however, when the level of dopamine is larger than the level of serotonin, that means you don’t have as much control over your obsessive thoughts and behaviours, which is why when you… have a crush on someone, they’re on your mind all the time.” you clear your throat when you feel a little tickle at the back of your throat

it’s almost like your body is rejecting the idea of u telling yoongi u like him and trying to tell you to sTOP STOP STOP but it’s waaaay too late to stop now

“you find yourself checking your phone all the time to see if they texted you back. when you get an assignment back, your first thought isn’t ‘hey, i did a good job!’ like it usually is, and instead it’s ‘hey, i wonder if they did a good job too!’. they’re the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you fall asleep. and it’s… weird, having this person take up so much space in your mind, it’s like… thinking about not thinking about them makes you think about them even more?”

“…thinking about not thinking about them makes you… ah, okay, i understand. got it!” yoongi shoots you a uncharacteristically dorky double thumbs up and you can’t help but snort

“number two: a change in priorities.” you click to the next slide

maybe it’s a good thing that yoongi hasn’t caught on yet

you’re actually starting to enjoy giving this presentation even if it’s not for marks and doesn’t count towards any of your grades whatsoever

“the active hormone in this case would be dopamine. which is…?” you turn to look at yoongi and the smile immediately drops from his face

have you not learned that he is incapable of answering questions on the spot like this???

“dopamine… makes you… feel dope. therefore… dopamine… is… it makes you feel… good…”

okay you’re going to be here all afternoon if you keep picking on yoongi like this

“how about you just…sit back and relax?” you offer yoongi a sheepish smile, “i promise i won’t ask you any more questions.”

yoongi’s shoulders visibly droop and he lets out a breath of relief before leaning back against the seat  

thank GOD because he’s really not sure how much more information he can pull out of his ass

“so, dopamine makes you seek out pleasure-“

“which is basically what i said-“

“as i implied earlier, a spike in dopamine is involved with having intrusive thoughts. a change in priorities has a lot to do with this spike, because you’ll try pretty much anything to get to the reward that can bring you pleasure - obviously this reward i’m talking about is the person i’m crushing- i- i mean, the person that you- the person that one has a crush on.” you stammer before reaching up to scratch the back of your neck

ooh boy

we’re falling off the rails a little here

yoongi raises a brow

he’s never seen you get so twitchy before

especially not when you’re giving presentations because you literally live laugh loVE to give presentations

last week you showed him a presentation of all the things you ate over the weekend and it was actually surprisingly informative and entertaining

“um… so… right! a change in priorities. for example, even if you hated something like skateboarding - and i’m talking really, reaLLy hated - you might suddenly be super cool with giving it a go!” you shrug before unconsciously brushing your fingers over your scratched up elbows that resulted from yoongi trying to teach you how to skateboard a couple weeks ago  

yoongi’s brows knit together in deep thought as the gears click-click-click away in his head

why are you giving this presentation in the first place? what’s the whole purpose of it? why this subject in particular? how come no one else is here with-

yoongi perks up in his seat when it hits him

oh

oh

suddenly every single detail about this peculiar situation rushes over him like a tidal wave

…the neurobiology behind the complicated mask of romantic attraction…

…what is cortisol?? cortisol is a stress hormone that is released when ur courting a mate…

…’hey, i wonder if they did a good job!’ instead of ’hey, i did a good job!’…

…really, really hate skateboarding… suddenly willing to give it a go…  

“-and finally, having an intense increase in energy!” yoongi snaps out of his whirlpool of thoughts when you suddenly clap your hands together, “dopamine - which, hopefully you’ll remember increases when you feel desire and arousal for someone - produces norepinephrine, which is the hormone associated with feelings of excessive energy and restlessness!”

you start pacing around on the stage with your hands on your hips

“like, usually you have a pretty good sleep schedule of 9pm to 7am, but suddenly, all because of this person, you suddenly have the ability to stay up for the entire night thinking about him a-and his stupid face and the fact that he has you wrapped around his pinky finger and somEhow you’re still able to survive the next day without crashing and burning!”

a smirk slowly begins to form at yoongi’s lips when he finally processes what exactly is happening

maybe his lisa plan worked after all

you like him

this is you telling him that you like him and you know what he has to give you a little more credit for using your skills to your advantage

look at you and your cute little ‘i love you’ presentation!!!!

adorable!!!!

just as he’s about to get up and interrupt your vEry passionate rant about how important it is to get a solid eight hours of sleep a night, the projector suddenly glitches and the screen goes black

“one night, i only got like three hours of sleep but what i’m tryINg to say is that-“ your neck nearly snaps from how quickly your head whips around when the screen flickers to black

oh shooT

out of all the times for the damn projector to glitch!!!!!

just as you were about to reach your conclusion!!!!!

fRICK

“sorry, give me a second.” you hold a finger up before jogging over to the little desk where your laptop is  

this is why you hate all this bluetooth apple TV nonsense

the projectors always disconnect at the worst times

it’s just not a reliable way to present something!!

it takes a couple seconds for the projector to catch up to your laptop but when you see the concluding slide pop up on the screen you let out a sigh of relief

ok

maybe you should stop talking about your sleep schedule and just jump straight into the conclusion because you honestly don’t even know what you’re talking about anymore

see!!!! look what yoongi’s done to you!!!!!

you’re usually very good at improvising presentations and now you’re just shooting blanks!!!

whatever

just present your danG conclusion and get this over with u dummy

“in conclusion, the neurobiological process behind romantic attraction is quite evident wh- oh!”

the moment you whip around you don’t even get a chance to be surprised at the fact that yoongi is standing right behind you because the next thing you know he’s pulling you in for a kiss

as soon as his lips press against yours, your mind immediately goes blank and all you can hear is pure white noise (which you’re pretty sure is just your laptop fan whirring because it’s about to run out of battery)

yoongi reaches up to take your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger before tilting his head slightly to deepen the kiss when your hands suddenly grip at his hoodie

at first he wasn’t just going to throw himself at you like this but honestly you guys have played this game for far too long

and he’s wanted to kiss u for so long

unsurprisingly, you’re the first one who pulls away (yoongi would 110% spend the rest of the day making out with you on stage if it were up to him) and yoongi swipes his tongue over his bottom lip when he sees how flushed your cheeks have gotten and how swollen your lips are

all that from a little bit of kissing?

…goD that’s so frickin cute

“you-“ your voice cracks slightly and he can’t help but grin because it hits him that the only thing that can make you stutter like this is hiM- “i wasn’t- i wasn’t done with- with my conclusion.” you whisper

wha-

huh

okay

out of all the responses in the world he definitely wasn’t expecting that

well, that’s not true

as he’s mentioned before, you are very passionate about your presentations so maybe he should’ve expected this

“oh! uh, yeah, i’m sorry-“ yoongi quickly takes a step back and raises his hands in defence “sorry. what were you saying?”

you turn away so that your back faces yoongi and you mouth a silent ‘oH MY GOD-‘ to yourself

oh my god

oh my GOD!!!!!

oh myg od????

omg

like u literally don’t know what else to say besides oh my god

no thoughts head empty

“in conclusion, the neurobiological process behind romantic attraction is quite evident when i’m talking about the way that i feel… about… well, about you.” you spin back around to face yoongi and feel your heart skip a beat when he smiles widely before bursting into laughter

what the-

why is he laughing??????

that was supposed to be a sweet moment????

that was supposed to be the part in the movie where the audience goes ‘awww’!!!!!!

so what the heLL is he hee-hawing aboUT

“i’m sorry, i just-“ yoongi covers a hand over his mouth and lets out a snort, “i cannot believe how much i like you-“

“oh, well, great! that makes me feel sO good about myself-“ you feel your face grow red as you throw your hands up in the air

“no, no, not like that! i-“ yoongi wipes a tear from his eye as he makes his way towards you, “you… you’re a dork, y/n y/l/n. you know that?”

“…every time you open your mouth to speak i begin to like you less and less-“

“you’re the biggest dork on this planet and i am so, utterly, obsessed with you.”

oh

…to be honest that was like an insult and a compliment wrapped into one so you’re not quite sure how to interpret it buT-

“so you… like me back?” your stomach flutters when yoongi places his hands on your waist to pull you in

“of course i like you back!” he reaches up to flick your forehead and you immediately let out a yelp, “god, i thought you were supposed to the smarter one out of the two of us-!“

he pauses to give u a little kiss on your forehead because he might have flicked u harder than intended

“and can i just say… i love it when you talk nerdy to me.”

“oh, god, get awaY from me-“ you immediately let out a groan before rolling your eyes

he’s so annOYING

“aw, come on! what’s the matter?” yoongi laughs when you shove him off and turn away from him “i’m hot for teacher-“ he growls playfully as he grabs your hips from behind before pulling you back in towards him

“you are the absolute worsT-“ you whine as you feel your back bump against his front

his arms slink around your waist as he props his chin up on your shoulder “i don’t know about you but mY serotonin levels are like, bouncing off the walls right now-“

“that doesn’t even make any sense, yoongi! it’s like you weren’t even paying attention to anything i was saying at aLL-“

“sure i was! i paid enough attention to know about how much you loooOooOOVe mE-“

and for the record

yoongi will be more than happy to attend any of your future presentations if it means he gets to kiss you at the end of each one

:-)

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