#which might be a bit ironic
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so where do you go when the place you turn to when you’re sad is the reason you’re sad?
#lex waffles#ironically the song we sink by sway from the MLN soundtrack gave me a bit of comfort yesterday#which might be a bit ironic#the victon news hasn't hit me yet#so it's mostly about astro#but my playlist of songs for when i'm sad is full of both astro & victon#yeah :(#i'm slowly making a playlist of songs that have given me comfort / helped me during this time but there's not many so far#i've been listening to music but it's kinda just background noise#we sink was the first song i really listened to where i felt something#i struggle with this question a lot#i have since last year especially#somewhat similar situation that i haven't really processed a whole year on#every time i think i'm (for a lack of better term) over this crushing sadness it comes back to me like a wave
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Some sketches I did to try to get a feel for what I want my Rook to look like 🤔
#I'll probably have to change the hair tbh#I haven't seen hair quite like this in the cc videos#the one dreadlocks+half bun hairstyle I saw wasn't quite the right vibe?? too short tbh#and lacking some shape#I just hope someone mods bg3 hairstyles into the game......... I had this one specific bg3 hair mod in mind while I was drawing her#but I'd settle for any long dreadlocks hairstyle tbh 😔#ironically I think I'll end up going for the short one in game 🫠 I feel like the shape of it fits the vibe I'm going for with her#which is like. kind of edgy fjdjjfjf very angular#can you tell I'm eyeing the antivan crow background for my 1rst playthrough........#sketch tag#dragon age#datv#sleepyscribble#I love her face. I definitely want to keep her face exactly like this#I'm only unsure about the scar and the makeup#I was thinking something like a lightning scar on the side of her face#which I could use to come up with something for her backstory later(trauma <3)#story wise I have a general idea of where I want to go with her but it's very like. just vibes rn#I'm thinking of going for angst with 'taken into the crows as a kid + being a crow is a huge part of who she is'#and 'being a crow is something she might want to stop being. but she can't. because she doesn't know how to be anything else'#I started thinking abt that while reading through the backgrounds and I thought yeowch. I have to go with crow now#but other than that I'm also looking forward to playing mostly purple rook so nfncnncncm she'll be an absolute disaster#also in my head her name is renata and her voice sounds a bit like josephine's
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I cannot imagine being a Damian stan right now. You've got both Zdarsky's bullshit (where he clearly doesn't give a shit about your boy) and The Boy Wonder (where Juni Ba clearly gives so many shits about your boy) coming out on the same day. The whiplash must be insane. I hope y'all get some nice warm soup for your efforts jfc
#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#batman#batfamily#for all of the issues that come with having Steph as your fave having too much wild shit happening at once is never one of them#btw I quite like The Boy Wonder Issue 1. wow shocker an artist and writer who I have liked everything they've ever done#has once again written something that I am enjoying with art that makes me want to be part of its world.#it's almost like Juni Ba is really freaking talented or something#like I have some problems with it but it seems like many of those are part of the point. Damian is learning that his siblings are more#three-dimensional than he realized and that is part of this 'coming of age' story merged with fairytale#so I can't be mad at the oversimplistic defining of Dick and Jason and Tim until the conclusion of the series. that might be the point.#I hope that the series will address Steph as a Robin but if not then frankly it's not an issue unique to this series.#I'll be annoyed and disappointed but ultimately roll with it like I am with Babsgirl being here. There's too much good stuff here to get#hung up on shit that seems to be almost an editorial mandate at this point. at least that's where I'm at.#I am also very sorry that Chip Zdarsky is massacring your boy. he has 'X (Tim for him) is the best Robin so everyone else must suck' diseas#where a writer really likes one specific Robin and in trying to uplift them demeans all of the other Robins. instead of like...just writing#for that one character only or alternatively not demeaning the other characters in order to make his blorbo look good#it's wild because I actually think his writing for Tim is pretty solid. but he's not writing a Tim series. he's writing a Batman series.#and if you are going to write a Batman series and include other Batfamily members you need to actually write them well.#instead of assigning them like 2 personality traits while Tim gets to be a whole character#I accept that behavior in fanfic where I have lesser standards because it's fucking free. not a comic run that wants me to pay#tens of dollars in order to understand what the fuck is going on. he's been going for a while now it's gotta be a lot of money.#I can buy Steelworks with that money. I can see John Henry and Natasha Irons in a trade. Fuck you Chip.#it's why it takes such a special person to write a good ensemble story/a good Batfamily story. you have to be good at writing a LOT#of different characters. which I don't think most people are. I sure as hell am not. I can write maybe 3 at a time confidently well.#and you also have to give all of them at least SOME love or else people will be upset that you aren't focusing on their fave#and also the writing as a whole will suffer. Chip Zdarsky is a pretty good Tim writer. I'd maybe read a Tim solo written by him.#I would not read a story focusing on multiple characters that I like written by Chip Zdarsky. because every character who isn't Tim#is at least a bit weak/inconsistent/out of character INCLUDING FUCKING BATMAN. THE NO. 1 GUY MOST ARE HERE FOR
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While the trick-or-treating comic was very cute, I cannot imagine Vasco not being a little treat kinda guy
Are you telling me he doesn't randomly buy himself candy just for the dopamine and the child-like joy? That he doesn't indulge on halloween spirit and buy spooky candy just for him and Machete?? (who barely eats it but halloween spirit comes first, practically second)
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#I actually thought about that for quite a while before choosing to go with a simple and neutral soda can#because yes I do think Vasco is a little treat kinda guy#but the treats he goes for probably aren't straight up candy#he's into hot chocolate and sweet coffee drinks#ice cream (particularly odd and seasonal flavors)#pastries and desserts probably#I can see him being a nutella enjoyer#and if he buys actual sweets I think he'd go for chocolate bars#(not like mars bars but thin flat sheets of chocolate that you break into smaller pieces)#(do those have a specific name in english or are they both just chocolate bars?)#none of the above are very easy to share unexpectedly with unfamiliar children#like I said in majority of Europe halloween isn't widely/officially celebrated and trick-or-treating isn't customary#families with young children teens and young adults might do halloween activities on smaller scale#but a childless couple in their thirties (and living in an apartment) is unlikely to have halloween candy in reserve methinks#Machete doesn't eat that many sugary things regularly#if Vasco is having something he probably goes along with it#but his health anxiety kind of affects what foods he deems acceptable and which ones should be avoided#which is ironic because modern Machete has a history of stress smoking#as a habit that's quite a bit worse for you than having an occasional ice cream sundae#I think he managed to quit when their relationship turned serious#answered#anonymous#modern au
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I can't believe it's taken me this long to have Leliana and Sten together in a party. I won't lie, Sten's usually my least used companion so I'm making a conscious effort to use him more this playthrough.
His banter with Leliana? It's so good.
Leliana: I saw what you were doing back there. Sten: Oh? Leliana: Don't play innocent with me. Sten: What are you talking about? Leliana: You. Playing with that kitten. Sten: ...There was no kitten. Leliana: Sten, I saw you. You dangling a piece of twine for it. Sten: I was helping it train. Leliana: You're a big softie! Sten: We will never speak of this again. Leliana: Softie!
And then she continues to call him "Softie" in later banter, I love it.
I also appreciate all of his banter with Shale, that's been a real interesting one.
Shale: I have a question of religion, Qunari. Sten: For you, kadan, I will answer. Shale: Would its "qun" accept a convert that was a golem? Sten: I do not know. It has never happened. We accept beings of all walks of life, so long as they are willing to accept their place in the world. Shale: And what place is that? Sten: One of equality. Within the Qun, an individual exists to serve. Shale: Hmm. That is less appealing. Would it consider birds to be its equal as well? Sten: Birds? Birds are... but animals. Enlightenment does not await them. Shale: Excellent. That sounds very promising.
Like... it's not that I don't like Sten, he just ends up being the companion who gets benched the most, especially once I've gathered everyone else. My Tabris always gets high approval with him, though don't ask me how. Every time they talk at camp, Sten's out here throwing "+7 Approval" and "+13 Approval" left and right? Rose is straightforward and doesn't take his shit, so I guess he likes that? I don't know, they're buddies though.
I have a rule that Alistair's never allowed to leave the party--he's a grey warden, too. He and Rose gotta deal with all the bullshit together no matter what, but that means I already have a warrior constant in my party. When I want another, I tend to gravitate toward Oghren more than Sten. That's mostly because I like Rose and Oghren fighting together a lot before Awakening, and that means poor Sten's a benchwarmer in the Blight.
Not this time, though, I'm working to rotate my party around a lot.
Except for Alistair.
He's never sat on the bench and he never will.
#dragon age#dao#dao leliana#dao sten#dao shale#alistair theirin#dao oghren#rosalie tabris#listen alistair's not allowed to leave the party#he and rose spend the entire game together that when it ends and its time to do awakening i'm just like#'..........is this what separation anxiety feels like?? oh nooo'#but yeah anyway just some thoughts on sten#tbh i'm not a huge fan of the qunari like they're my least favorite part of da2... though that might have more to do with petrice but still#even the mark of the assassin dlc which i quite like still makes me go ugh when tallis reveals she's qunari like....ehhhh okay#i don't really care--i'm just here to hang out with anders and carver and hunt a wyvern y'know?#the only time i've been interested in it was with the iron bull and him becoming tal-vashoth and his struggles with that#and i mean again i do like sten quite a bit but i'm definitely not as into him as some people are
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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I agree that drugs should be legalised and not stigmatized but you're delusional if you think "most drugs can be consumed completely safely with almost 0 risk to the user"
I think the key here is the word "can" by which I mean that if consumed in safe doses and safe environments and from safe sources etc most like mainstream drugs (I'm thinking of like mdma, LSD, shrooms, ketamine, coke) CAN be consumed safely with very little risks. I know this to be a fact #1. because I've done a lot of actual research on this where I've read numerous sources from scientists doctors and users as opposed to just say taking in the abstinence only information I received during school, reading a couple Tumblr posts and assuming I know everything there is to know about the topic and #2 I've used every drug I just listed and more and never suffered any adverse effects because I did my research, tested them for impurities when appropriate, and took other measures to ensure my safety
there are obviously exceptions and drugs that just shouldn't be fucked with (meth and heroin is what I'm thinking, but I also know people who have consumed these once or twice with 0 repercussions because that's how human experience works), but if you're actually interested in learning more about the many ways in which you were lied to about how "illegal drugs" are somehow automatically much worse for you than prescription drugs or socially acceptable drugs (like caffeine and alcohol) then feel free to either 1. do your own ACTUAL research that does not involve trusting for profit rehab centers and abstinence only educators (I'll even get you started with a couple good resources) or 2. message me off anon to have a real discussion about the mechanisms by which the most common drugs operate and the ways in which they can be consumed as safely as you can consume alcohol cigarettes and energy drinks but sending me your half cocked uninformed and unnecessarily insulting opinion on anon is not exactly productive. additionally, I'm sure you can see why I struggle to see or believe that you ACTUALLY think drugs should be destigmatized and aren't just parroting what you think the correct woke opinion is when you refuse to even take the very first step to destigmatizing drugs, drug use, and drug users and actually unlearn all the stigmatizing things you've been taught
I know that it's a lot easier just to port over all the things you've learned from dubious sources that you trusted implicitly because they claimed to be an authority and not actually do the work required to achieve the goals you claim to support, but easier doesn't mean right
#thanks for trying though#messages like this are so interesting because what are you trying to accomplish here#oh fuck guys someone anonymously called me delusional for stating a fact which i can support with research#guess i better change my whole world view#i guess if im giving you the benefit of the doubt here ill say maybe i used the word 'most' a bit erroneously#considering there are like thousands of prescription and nonprescription drugs#but ironically people always talk about the danger of drugs without actually meaning to invlude prescription drugs#even when theyre talking about things like fentanyl. because prescription drugs are just thought of as safe#in a way that like lsd (which is extraordinarily safe) is not#but even still i feel that the rest of the point of my post shouldve overshadowed what might be somehwat of an exaggeration#youve just ignored the entire rest of the post in favor of supporting your preexisting worldview#so you can feel superior for some reason? like why else would you send this message#fascinating
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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.
#medical stuff cw#i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat#vent cw#i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay#i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated#my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition#so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells#because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly#terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle#i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer#but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first#so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane#also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia#now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine#so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved#because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe#at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months#however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?
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Auditory processing issues suck SO HARD. I just spent about 1.5 hours watching the first half hour of a movie on YouTube, because I had so much trouble understanding the dialogue that I kept constantly having to go back and listen again and again and again, look up a transcript of the full film (the transcript contained mistakes, so it wasn't much help), compare and contrast various subtitle files available online, even cup my hands around my ears, etc. Just to figure out what the characters were saying to each other.
And it's not just literally understanding what words they say to each other, oh no. That's only the first step. The next step is figuring out what those characters MEAN when they say certain words. Like when a dude says "You know, I see, like, if we can get successful, it's, like, L-L, man… limos and Learjets," I feel like I'm having a stroke. I have to hit pause and sit there for a sec and ask myself a bunch of questions and do some research online.
Why did he say L-L? Why did he randomly say the initials of the two things he wants? Also, why does he specifically say 'Learjet'? When people dream of having a private jet, don't they normally say 'private jet'? I'd never heard the word Learjet before, so I had to go look it up to try to get more context, but that didn't really help. Is this a music biz reference I don't know? Is this a Canadian reference I don't know? If this happened once or twice during a movie, it would be no problem, but when I'm stopping and going back literally every two minutes, it takes for-fucking-ever to get through the film and my brain is So! Fucking! Exhausted!
I had to stop at about the half-hour mark. I felt like I was about to cry from frustration, so I quit for the night. I'll return to it in a day or two, when I've got a bit more mental energy, and try to work my way through the rest. If I can get through half an hour of film time per day (in an hour or so, however long it takes to get through that much), I can finish the movie in three days of watching. (And this is a movie I really, really WANT to see. I wouldn't waste a moment of my time struggling through it if I didn't care this much about it.)
Anyway. Sometimes when people say they "don't watch movies much", it doesn't necessarily mean they're being elitist snobs or whatever. Sometimes it's just so fucking challenging and exhausting to watch a movie that it leaves me feeling angry at my own body for being a dysfunctional piece of crap. I don't know if this counts as a "disability" and I'm not claiming that label because I don't want to step on any toes, but I have to admit that the mere prospect of watching a film often fills me with dread because it can be so intensely difficult for me (unless I just mentally check out and give up on understanding it completely, which is what I typically do when I'm watching with other people).
#please don't be harsh to me about this y'all :( i just needed to vent#i feel stupid enough already for being so incredibly fucking bad at something as simple as WATCHING A MOVIE#i don't get it? is this an autism thing? or is it an auditory-processing issue only?#tbf it's a mockumentary (hard core logo) and as i said to a friend tonight: that might be part of the problem#i think actors in mockumentaries often don't have an actual script and tend to improvise a lot of their dialogue#which is great for creating really realistic and convincing dialogue#but also often means that sentences trail off or make no sense; words are pronounced weirdly; enunciation is shit; etc.#the actors in this movie are really good in the sense that they're very realistic and it comes across basically like a real documentary#so props to them for that. but jfc. is it just me being shitty at understanding people talking?#or is it that these people do not fucking know how to project and enunciate and open their goddamn mouths when they talk?#and place emphasis in the right place in sentences? AND PRONOUNCE WORDS CORRECTLY FFS???#no i'm not being fair. and i know that. it's not fair of me to blame the actors/characters for my own difficulty understanding them.#but god this is hard for me. kind of ironic that i've studied so many foreign languages and can understand about 10 languages more or less#but i'm almost brought to tears by the challenge of trying to understand what native english speakers are saying in a normal film#there's another line where the transcript says 'as long as we can keep the fuckin' mentals fuckin' together'#but i swear he does not actually say 'mentals'. i listened to that bit so many times!!!#i even sent the link to a friend who confirmed that it didn't sound like 'mentals' to him either. more like 'mantoros' but that's not a wor#anyway i eventually just gave up on that one. i'm done for the night. i need to sleep#might delete this tmrw bc it feels stupid to get this down over literally just trying to watch a movie :( but i had to let off some steam#if anyone has a CORRECT transcript of this movie anywhere (you'll know it's correct if it does NOT include the word 'ryder') pls let me kno#that would help a lot with my future attempts at finishing it. but now i'm going to bed
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The array I've got here is so fucking wild, I swear to the gods. I get whiplash going from some muses who will smite you if you even look at them wrong -- and then there's other muses that fuck all the goddamn time with varying levels of needing to be invested in someone before they get nasty
And sometimes I have to fill out little sticker charts for when they go thirty minutes without having sex with their partner. 😐
#sorry for being weird last night. it's just because there's a bunch of shit wrong with my brain // mobile.#Muses I thought were v ambivalent towards sex originally: Amis#Muses that are the actual worst example of this bc they fuck like rabbits: Amis#Man's hornier than my cute little 'was originally a succubus' devil#APPARENTLY it's just a matter of him vibing with the right freak#Adopted children be warned: you can NEVER read ANY of the letters he sends to Ashen when they're apart#They might have their sweet moments but I PROMISE you you will regret having eyes when you get to the raunchy bits#Bc those always exist#Legitimately the funniest shit ever to me#Also ironically I think Asmo is my most ace muse#( I would say Methil but I'm not sure how much is cultural repulsion and how much is personal repulsion )#It's ironic bc he's v sex positive and is probably considered the embodiment of lust in some spheres#( pulling from the demon he takes his name from )#But also don't you DARE level any of that nonsense at him#...... Which is an exaggeration actually but??#You cannot fuck him#That's the main takeaway here
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For anyone keeping track (no one), I have started watching the first Avengers film (MCU not the 60s TV show) but only while eating lunch so it's gonna take a while. So far Nick Fury has been assembling the Avengers (the film was initially released in the UK as Avengers Assemble - because of that 60s TV show - but it's not called that on D+ so I'm calling it what the Americans called it, just FYI) even though there's not yet anything for them to avenge as That Suit Guy (j/k I know his name too!!) isn't dead yet, and now they're on THE FUCKING VALIANT FROM DR WHO and I assume we're gonna continue assembling for a while as they're not all there yet.
MEANWHILE Loki (who is neither an alligator nor a woman in this???) is in a SECRET UNDERGROUND LAIR with a bunch of his stans who are... idk something technobabble that involves irridium and anti-protons. He is there looking for the tesseract on behalf of ???? who I know will be revealed 47 films from now as... no, wait, it wasn't, was it? That was just announced on a website or something? So it could be LITERALLY ANYONE. The Avengers (in-progress) also seem to be after that thing, but I have already forgotten why everyone is wanting it, assuming it was mentioned (it probably was).
Thor hasn't shown up yet, but Arrows Hawkeye is working as a Loki Stan and there's Steve Rogers and THE HULK and The Only Woman One, whose power is that she's a Cold War assassin (??) and I think this one is the film where she gets called a cunt (!) and honestly I am not sure which of the men she's getting officially shipped with, I think Arrows Hawkeye though? Fairly sure, as the alternative is that a man and a woman like each other as people but not in a lusty way, which would never happen obviously. (Hey I may ship mostly het* pairings but I don't always like it!)
Based on the Valiant (if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) I am guessing that the film ends with Loki dying in Thor's arms romantically but then I remembered that I know it can't because one of Loki got kidnapped from... either the end of this film or the start of the next one or POSSIBLY just from a later film's time-travel bit (???) but like... maybe they've edited this film secretly and I was right after all? But nobody else has watched it on Disney + recently so nobody knows yet? IT COULD HAPPEN.
Not sure what to make of this film so far, a lot's been going on yet also not much has been going on, and the one I like best so far (Suit Guy) is gonna die (NOT EVEN IN THOR'S ARMS ROMANTICALLY) and god Iron Man really hasn't aged well now that we have that one tech billionaire being a twat in public all the time to remind us what such people tend to be like. WHERE IS THOR????
*I say het but everyone in everything is bisexual, I know this because I thought of it and announced it on tumblr and will now say "I don't make the rules" to make it an objective FACT. I don't make the rules!!!
#the avengers (mcu edition not the 60s one)#(though if u close one eye and tilt ur head the black widow looks a wee bit like emma peel maybe?)#i like to think the lair of loki stans exists after this to post angrily on social media about how actually he did nothing wrong etc etc#let me know if loki's just working from a subway station that's still in use in this that'd be hilarious he'd be so annoyed by it all#torn on the tortured-by-thanos issue so far he does look messy but he might just have the flu and didn't want to back out#a lot of people are depending on him to jumpstart a movie superhero franchise he can't just take the day off can he#if loki took care of himself thor would be LITERALLY UNEMPLOYED how could he? how could YOU?#(the 'god of thunder' thing isn't a job he doesn't get paid for it so it's just a hobby)#(he doesn't even monetise that hobby! you think iron man would give you storms for free? EXACTLY. he'd have a patreon AT LEAST)#(“if you enjoyed this torrential rain pls tip me on ko-fi which is not pronounced like you think it is because it's a really BAD pun”)#and whatever the fuck my loki character tag was#like i said i really do need to categorise my lokis more it's been bothering me for a while#reminder: i am here because they cast a woman in a previously-male role and SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THIS FILM. OR ANY OF THEM. D:#don't think the alligator's gonna turn up here either :( :( :(#otherwise it's just kind of fascinating what this film assumes i do and don't know about these characters#nick fury's a goth right?#mcu tag
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me: *puts on a wool skirt, an apron, a poofy shirt and a wool vest in a 24°c apartment*
also me: why am I so hot
#noopa rambles#hdjddjd I'm trying to figure out what to wear to a friend's Fancy Tea Party on saturday#the obvious choice was ofc either a full folk dress or some folk dress pieces#I'm pretty sure I won't go for the full dress at this point; esp bc the weather forecast is. not great#protecting the wool skirt from the weather(tm) might be a pain#protecting just the vest is much easier#rn I'm thinking I'm gonna opt for my Kaukola vest and shirt and throw some black pants on to go with it#if anyone wants a reference google 'kaukolan kansallispuku' (the women's version)#I do not have the veil; I have the headband (not sure if I'll wear it for the party but it goes Woosh!!!)#I can't believe the shirt still (mostly) fits; I got it when I was 11 dhdjjd#the sleeves are too short and the hem too but otherwise it was fine???#I remembered that the shoulders would've been tight but they weren't???#the hem is gonna be a bit annoying if I wear the shirt with pants bc it will try to ride up when I tuck it in#the sleeves are fine if my arms are down but they defo ride up when I move them#I should acquire a slightly bigger shirt...#tho the skirt of that dress is simply too small so it might be easier to just sell the whole thing#but the things are so damn expensive so getting a new one would be hard and I'm emotionally attached#I do have a different dress (rautjärvi) that is actually in my size#which I would opt for if I was gonna wear a whole ensemble#tho for some reason the cuffs of that shirt are actually tighter than the cuffs of the old too small shirt???#just how small has my aunt been when that dress was made for her!!!#granted she was a teenager then and not. almost thirty. but dhdjdkd what the fuck man#the only real downside to this whole ordeal is that I need to iron the damn shirt...#it's So Wrinkly#damn this fancy tea party for making me iron shit!!!
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ok i’m gonna set an alarm but it is not the end of the world if i miss the lecture tomorrow
#i am quite frankly concerned by my attendance. i am not academic weaponing it up. i am being academically attacked#it’s fine it’s fine. i always get caught up and i’d say i’m making it to a solid three quarters of them. but it’s not ideal yknow#turns out living alone is very hard and i am oh so tired. all of the time#which yes is in part bc i’m struggling with sleeping. and also low iron is low ironing bc i’m bad at remembering to take my tablets#and social awkwardness is quite frankly reaching the point where it’s probably just actual anxiety. teebeehaitch#it’s better than it was when i first got here but uhm. not by much#even posting on here is freaking me out a bit bc i keep remembering that i have like. 1700 followers for some reason#like you’re telling me that what amounts to my diary is hypothetically being read by 1700 people. that’s fucking insane. what am i doing#like i only get a few notes on personal posts obviously but still. it kinda freaks me out#might make another blog idk. not right now i am going to have a nap <3 and hopefully attend my lectures <3#i can hear birds singing outside. why do i keep doing this to myself#morganposting
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// me, who enjoys rping on discord but is deeply terrified of rp discord servers unless i am familiar with every single person there and it's why i made this blog in the first place:
#( ooc );#( that and the way i can play around here like it's my personal playground just cannot be fully replicated on discord :') )#( i'm fine rping with ppl individually but unless i know every single person involved in a discord server i'm not fully comfortable which#is. a Problem. i know. but. yknow how it is )#( it might seem ironic but thru tumblr at least i can get to know everyone in a less... invasive??? way?? idk how to describe it )#( and idk i just love the rping tumblr experience )#( absolutely ok to ask for my discord tho if we're moots!! but yeah. discord servers intimidate me a bit pbtbtbt )#( dash commentary );
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updated my theme ehehe
#shamelessly ripped off an idea from a carrd I saw once where the link directory was front-facing colourful rotary phones bc it was very cute#the only problem is no matter which space character I input for the ''my art'' tag in the html link - tumblr directs that to a broken page#which shows the url its redirecting to as my-art with a hyphen instead of a space#it Does suggest a link to the correct tag in the error message fortunately but it's still a bit of an annoying step#might just change my art posts tag to one word#I do still have my art-only blog I've just been too lazy to! ironically make a graphic for that lol#everything on there is currently in my tag here anyway
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I will not do the exercises given to me by my physio, whether that be because I forgot or I'm having executive dysfunction, and then be like "Man why am I in so much pain?"
#AUGH. Hate how I need to do exercises just so I can be in less pain + maybe reach an average level of strength#I have hypotonia so. Even my 16 year old sibling of whom I'm ~3 inches taller than is stronger than me#And I have noodle arms 😭 Which look especially silly compared to my stocky torso#I still need to try the other things the rheumatologist recommended#CBT therapy and a med she wants me to ask my psychiatrist abt to make sure it won't interfere with my ADHD meds#She also suggested hydrotherapy but. I'm a bit more nervous abt that considering I'm pre-top surgery.#My binders SAY that you can wear them swimming safely + are chlorine resistant but they say they're a lot harder to take off wet.#Which I worry means I'd need to get someone else to take it off of me. Which like. Augh. BUT YEAH anyway.#Iron text#Edit: Sorry a little bit more actually#My next psychiatrist appt isn't until late this month. And I am. Afraid to go through all the things I need to do to get to therapy.#With the public healthcare system you can get I think 8 psychologist appts for free per year if you get a mental health plan w your gp#But I think it also depends on the psychologist? Some might require you to pay regardless? I'm not sure#I've been to psychologists before but neither of them were that great and I'm worried it's gonna be similarly difficult now
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